#trust me i love an unreliable narrator but would you please look at the facts yuuri

[arom-antix]

Why Yuuri (before 2017) should not be allowed to write an autobiography

Okay, to those who might not follow figure skating as closely, I just need to point out that Yuuri, despite what he insists (unreliable narrator), did not do badly in the Sochi GPF.

We know from the flashback in episode 5 that Yuuri during his free skate fell on at least two of his jumps and touched down on one and it can be assumed he didn't do too well on his others. He says in episode 4 that he falls on jumps and makes up the gap with Program Component Scores (how artistic it was) which can also be seen on the protocol from his short program where his PCS is higher than his Technical Element Score (how technically sound it was). This is not how those scores usually relate except in certain cases (see Jason Brown, also known for his high PCS and (relatively) low TES though this is by choice).

This is Yuuri's short program protocol. If you don't know how to read this then all you need to know is that his total score was 82.80, 40.42 of that being TES and 42.38 being PCS.

Now, to relate that to the real world, in the 2015 Grand Prix Final, Daisuke Murakami scored a total of 235.49, scoring 83.47 in his short program and 152.02 in his free skate and placing 6th. As we can see, that's pretty darn close to Yuuri's score (82.80 in the short, 149.79 in the free, 232.59 total) and I would not be surprised if they were inspired by his scores since they're also PCS centric.

Sidenote: Looking at Yuuri's PCS here and comparing them to Murakami's, Yuuri's are higher, not having anything lower than 8.00. Based on the fact that he was likely very off-kilter, I'd say this is still a very respectable score (duh, Yuuri just can't accept that he's good). Boyang Jin who took 3rd in the short, 5th overall in the 2015 GPF had way lower PCS scores.

Anyway, here's Murakami's free skate protocol.

Murakami has 8 jumping passes in his free, 7 of which he lands with a two-footed landing on one and a stepout on another. He only falls ass on ice like Yuuri does once on his second quadruple salchow (which was supposed to be a combination. The << and REP are explained at the bottom of the protocol). He does not touch down at any point. Otherwise his jumps look fine to me, most of them barely having any ice spray and only his 3Lz+1Lo+2S combination getting a warning for an unclear edge.

If you don't know, falling is (kind of) the worst mistake you can make on a jump and the judges are required to both give a certain negative GEO (grade of execution) and a deduction of 1 point. Other mess-ups just give negative GEOs.

Murakami's FS score is 73.26 TES and 79.76 PCS which would mean Yuuri's scores are likely very similar. But he fell on two jumps, not one meaning his PCS would likely have been higher to make up the difference.

And if Yuuri's insinuation that he flubbed all his jumps in some manner is true (which I find highly unlikely, have some confidence) and he missed elements by either popping (opening too early which costs rotations but saves you from a fall) or just not doing them, his PCS would have needed to be even higher to make up for that.

Missing elements, like popping a double, triple or quadruple axel into a single (at least one double is required), results in that element not being counted at all. Zero. Zip. Nada. You get nothing for it if you can't make up for it later in the program. Even falling on a jump is better because that's at least a few points. So if that happened, he'd have a big gap to make up with his PCS.

To sum up: with everything that could have gone wrong for Yuuri, this is still a very good score, even on the international scene. And to highlight that, Murakami is happy when he finishes, even fist pumping.

And yes, there was still that 103.17 point gap between Yuuri and Viktor which is the same (okay, 94.95) for Murakami and Yuzuru Hanyu who took gold in the 2015 GPF. But, and I cannot stress this enough, Hanyu broke 3 world records with that score meaning Viktor likely did as well. No wait, scratch that, I know he did because Hanyu's score was 330.43 which Viktor beat by 5.33 points. Of course it's not going to be even close, are you kidding me?

Looking at the World Championships in 2016, Yuuri would, with that 232.59 score, still have taken 11th place. He'd have taken 16th in 2023 and that's with a single quad (I don't trust his quad salchow yet) in the age of quads (and that quad being the one with the lowest base value). I'm positive he'd have been able to do a Jason Brown whose PC scores are so good that he in 2023 placed 5th without a single quad and would have placed 3rd in 2016. Now, take that and throw Yuuri's quad toe loop and some confidence in there and you've got a Worlds podium finish before the series even starts.

And then in the season the show is in, he has his quad toe loop, quad salchow and quad flip. He might even have gotten the quad loop down in the 3.5 months between the Barcelona GFP and Worlds. I definitely see a world champion on the next level (if they'd give us it >:[ )

And scores always get higher over time, the world record having gone from Hanyu's 330.46 in 2015 to Nathan Chen's 335.30 in 2019 still standing in 2023 which is still less than Viktor's Sochi GFP score (335.76) (yes, the system has changed since 2015 but it's close enough that it doesn't really matter in this context. Viktor is OP no matter what).

Really, the fact that Yuuri's in the GFP at all should be all we need to know that he's insanely good. It might not technically be Worlds but my stars, Yuuri, it does basically make you 6th in the world.

BE. PROUD.

#trust me i love an unreliable narrator but would you please look at the facts yuuri #that was your first grand prix final of fucking course youre not going to get viktor scores he was 34.30 points ahead of second place #especially not when the man still holds the irl world record 7 seasons later #im sorry but i get that they wanted viktor to be stupidly op but like that post about how insane stammi vicino is #the scores in this show are bonkers #they definitely succeeded in making him op #yuri on ice #yoi #yuri on ice meta #yoi meta #yuuri katsuki #katsuki yuuri #arom antix

[jayvolans]

𝐥𝗼𝐯𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝗼𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐢𝐫 | 𝐚𝐥𝐡𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐚𝗺 𝐬𝗺𝐚𝐮

𝐗𝐈𝐕. 𝐂𝐔𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐂𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐒

Y: Good morning everyone, and welcome to another segment of our Stellar Lunar analysis!

A: As I’m sure you can tell, this was not scheduled, but some of you reached out to ask for help on a latent theme analysis of chapter 7.

Y: Wow, your intros have gotten so much better! Didn’t think you had it in you~

A: …thanks. I guess.

Y: Alright, enough chit chat let’s get to it!

A: *unintelligible noise*

A: Please, please, please tell me you don’t actually believe that…

Y: And why wouldn’t I? You can’t take everything she says at face value!

A: Yes, you can. Not everything has a deeper meaning.

Y: And I would agree, but in this instance our narrator has been proved time and time again to be completely unreliable because of her mental state. The whole point of this is that we absolutely can’t trust everything she says.

A: I guess I… didn’t consider that. So with that being said, what do you think she meant by her statement?

Y: Oh my god… is the Alhaitham agreeing with me AND asking me a question, all in the same sentence?! I think I’ve seen it all!

A: Technically it was two sentences.

Y: Ugh, way to ruin the moment.

A: But you-

Y: One of these days we’re going to have to agree on something!

A: As soon as you start making sensible points we will.

Y: What makes you right? Our classmates love my point of view!

A: …

Y: Whatever.

A: Anyways, hopefully I’ll rub off on you so you can look at this logically.

Y: None of this book is logical though! That’s like- the entire point! And the seventh chapter is the most convoluted and non-straightforward part!

A: You’ve… read the whole book?

Y: You haven’t?

A: Of course I have.

Y: We’ll talk about the ending later.

A: Agreed.

A: I think I might strangle you.

Y: Cut.

A: What?

Y: Cut the cameras. Deadass.

A: Can’t win the debate so now you have to fight me?

Y: For your information, I’d win both, no questions asked!

A: Oh yeah?

And the next thing you know, Alhaitham is towering over you, haughty eyes looking down on you. Only slightly daunted, you stood up to meet his glare.

It was quiet in the room, the only sound being his quiet breathing and the ticking clock. “This isn’t a fight you can win,” Alhaitham grinned, but it was less mocking than you expected.

In fact, his narrowed eyes danced with mirth, taking you by surprise. “Oh please, I could take a nerd like you down any day,” you huffed, hands on your hips. Alhaitham snorted out a laugh as he stepped closer, and now you were chest to chest. “I’d like to see you try.”

Your frown deepened at his taunt. “You’re insufferable sometimes, Alhaitham,” you bit out. There had been an odd tension that had been present the whole recording, and now it was reaching its peak.

Chest to chest, nose to nose, he was insufferable to you, but you couldn’t get enough of your back and forth with him, couldn’t get enough of him. And maybe it was just the lingering heightened emotions from your near arguments, but you couldn’t help but want to be closer still.

It might’ve been wishful thinking, but from the way he was staring, you couldn’t help but wonder if he felt the same way. “God, you talk too much,” He hissed.

But before you could make a retort, his lips were pressed feverishly to yours. Your noise of surprise was muffled by his lips as he pressed your body closer to his.

It felt as though a haze was clouding your mind and stealing your judgment, but you couldn’t stop your arms from curling themselves around his neck.

He was intoxicating, and you were falling deep. The way his lips moved against yours was a mix of precision and passion that pulled you further into him.

His hand carefully cradled your jaw, allowing him to deepen the kiss more than you thought possible. You needed to breathe, and thought he would too, but Alhaitham seemed wholly content to only breathe you in, showing no signs of stopping.

You had to force yourself to pull away, but you couldn’t find yourself regretting it when you saw his expression. Eyes half lidded, lips swollen, and cheeks dusted pink… it was not something you could’ve ever imagined seeing on Alhaitham’s face, but the last thing you were doing was complaining.

“What was that?” You mumbled, unable to escape his gaze. And just like that, his infuriating smirk was back in full force. “I told you; you talk too much.”

You groaned, flicking his forehead. “Shut up. Anyways, we definitely have to cut that part out,” You sighed, but you weren’t at all displeased, and it was obvious that Alhaitham knew it too.

“Why? I think it adds to the argument,” He shrugged.

A: With all of that being said, I hope this was as productive for all of you as it was for me.

Y: Wait, what’s that supposed to mean?

A: I think you know, yn.

Y: I-?!

A: Anyways, if you have anymore questions reach out to either Professor Lisa or us. Anything to add, yn?

Y: H-huh?

A: Tch. You were complaining about my intros when it’s really your outros that are the problem…

Y: Hey-!

A: Goodbye and thanks for watching.

Y: Alha-!

𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝗼𝐮𝐬❧ 𝗺𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭❧ 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭❧

:D?

𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 (open)❧

@ruisann @imma-too-many-fandoms @coffeecasket @kokxm1 @lunastarjay @dksfl920 @chiisananingen @itonashi @pidgey-ontheloose @ceylestia @jinxnotpowder @natsum-s @xirthia @adorablezhui @sunsethw4 @deartoru @baelloraa @nambii @simplyxsinned @aixaingela @whipped-for-fictionals @keithsaccount @blayxe @nekogakuro @richxelle @rifran @flutterawayx @nolvngerhvman @celestair @klementime @apinu @http-mewchuu @phoenix-eclipses @court-jester-stuff @dustofthedailylife @albedos-world @taoluv @salamiwrites @imkaaayy @turtl3-warr1or @zombieb1t3 @nachotrash @xiaossocksniffer @duckyyyx @spilloverlove @thenightsflower @feverish-dove @evilenchantresss @sharkiestory @yomamastitties

#genshin impact #genshin impact smau #genshin smau #alhaitham #al haitham #alhaitham x reader #al haitham x reader #alhaitham smau #kaveh #cyno #deyha #kaeya #childe #yae miko

[queer-and-dear-books]

Title: Everything I Never Told You

Author: Celeste Ng

Genre: Fiction | Mystery | Suspense | Thriller

Content Warnings: Character Death | Suicide Mention

Overall Rating: 8.4/10

Personal Opinion: A captivating novel that keeps you on the edge of your seat. Lydia Lee is a half-Chinese teenager who goes missing, leaving her family to confront the ugly truth behind this girl who was supposed to have a bright future. I can promise that Celeste Ng’s riveting writing style will not disappoint as you watch this ordinary family pick up the pieces left behind by the death of their prodigal daughter.

Do I Own This Book? Yes, I bought it for a class during my freshman year of college.

Spoilers Below for my Likes & Dislikes:

Likes:

- An introspective look into the lives of Asian characters with a focus on how stereotypes dictate a person’s life.

- Leads with a mystery, (How and/or why did Lydia die? Is it an accident? On purpose? A crime?) drawing in the reader and makes them want to read more.

- Jack is gay! Not only that but it’s obvious without having to be told. From that moment in the community pool when he was a kid, calling out “Polo” to Nath, I figured it out. This wasn’t as obvious to my classmates though, perhaps it was simply my Please-Be-Gaydar. But it was obvious to me that he had this crush anyway. And it was confirmed later on.

- Speaking of, the unreliable narrator is used so well with Nath. He sincerely believes it is Jack’s fault that Lydia died. In fact, Jack probably partially blamed himself considering it happened after his interaction with her. Neither of them know the full truth so the painful but exceptional miscommunication brings out this brilliant tension between them.

- James’s experience when it comes to racism and Marilyn’s experience with sexism both influence how they interpret the world around them to the point where they are unable to trust the other or understand their partner perfectly. Asian men are emasculated and in the 70s, it was looked down upon for a woman to work if she had a husband. Like the man couldn’t make enough. But for Marilyn, she saw her husband shutting her down for wanting to work or study as an act of sexism. Meanwhile, she wanted to do more than what her mother wanted. She had a dream to be a doctor (a career that was male-dominated) and whenever she expressed that this [her current life] wasn’t what she wanted, it made James feel inadequate as a man because he always thought it meant his race was what she didn’t want.

- Hannah is the most reliable narrator, being the observer of the household. She saw it all for what it was, at face value, but also the deeper parts due to her longing. It helps the reader obtain a more unbiased and clear-cut opinion of the chaotic happenings throughout the novel.

- It’s difficult to blame Nath for his reactions to Lydia while he was at the frat party because he was neglected for so long and because every single one of his achievements just didn’t matter to his parents. Not only that, but he had been actively mocked for his interests by his own father (out of self-loathing and internalized racism) and it makes him sympathetic as a character. Just as Marilyn and James are still sympathetic because their oppressive upbringings affect their parenting. Those being: putting immense, suffocating pressure on Lydia while neglecting Nath and Hannah. But toward the end of the novel, there is hope because both James and Marilyn realize they still have Hannah. They can do right by her even if they failed Lydia. The ending message being that it’s never to late to love and listen.

Dislikes: 

- Miscommunication being the source of all their problems has never been one of my favorite tropes and I always want the characters to know everything that a viewer would know. That’s very personal though so I understand that it isn’t an objectively bad trope, especially used as well as it is here.

- James, what the fuck. Grief and trauma obviously affected his parenting style, but it does not make me like him more. I mean, I can’t imagine how it would have felt to be Nathan. He is a sympathetic character but he is still my least favorite due to his mocking of his own son and his infidelity.

- In general, everyone has an endless laundry list for why we, as the reader, should feel an inkling of sympathy. But while they explain their actions, they do not excuse them. James is still a dad and Marilyn is still a mother, they should raise all their kids with love instead of favoring one while ignoring the others. It hurts as a child of neglect myself so again, this is a personal thing.

- This is a very minor gripe but why does Jack love Nath? It's strange because of how Nath has mistreated him even if they are all misunderstandings. But then again, emotions are very fickle. So maybe Jack looked at Nath, saw a face that was so different from the ones that he saw everyday and just kept observing him from afar from then on. Perhaps, after he tried to be nice at the pool, he had become so fixated on wanting to be with this lonely boy that his feelings evolved into that of romance.

- Speaking of, it’s so unclear, in that futuristic time Nath saw, if he ends up with Jack. There’s that moment where it mentions Nath wanting to trace the little bump on Jack’s nose (where he had punched him) and it’s written so tenderly, almost like an intimate moment for those two only. So maybe the feeling is mutual but Nath has been so blinded by what he believed, it was hard for him to see Jack as anything other than that kid that had “teased” him for being different.

#Booklr #Booksbooksbooks #Book Blog #Book Review #Book Recs #Everything I Never Told You #Celeste Ng #Asian Books #Asian Representation

[masterhandss]

Personally I don't see what you see in Geordo. He seems like such a scumbag to me and is the least likable charater in the whole series. He is always trying to get her alone to push her into things of a sexual/ more romantic nature without taking how she really feels into consideration. Like he "really wants her" and thats enough for him without caring what she really wants. Honestly he is the borderline non-con villian in my mind.

I mean, it's okay if you feel like that. To each their own.

Hmmm when I think about Geordo being sexually aggressive towards Katarina, I only really just think of the anime. The manga is a much more moe-fied and toned down version of the novels, and the novels does an okay job at balancing his desires for Katarina in all aspects. I'm not saying he doesn't have that trait in the other two mediums, I just think that they aren't as intense as the anime, so as someone who consumes all three versions I just tilt my head and go "huh." Of course I'm sure there are people who read the manga and novels that still feel uncomfortable about his behavior and that's valid too.

-> light novel spoilers ahead <-

tldr, there is a lot more going on to him than just someone who offers sweet words and questionable invitations to Katarina's ears, this may not be noticeable or acceptable to some people but we get to know more about how he thinks whenever the novels puts us in his point of view. You're free to dislike him as much as you want, but I like him & don't see him as a scumbag; and here's why:

I at least find it okay that Geordo is very serious about his pursuits for her because he is aware that she is dense and will not get it until you spell it in the sky. Everyone is just walking eggshells around Katarina hoping that the girl would just develop feelings for one of them to win the harem olympics. He knows that being dealt with a good card isn't enough, so he's actively taking action in order to win her heart. I mean I don't always agree with his methods either, like the "fait accompli" line or constantly inviting her to his room alone, but really, how much of that is something he really means to do vs how much of that is his excessive flirting + our minds assuming that he really means to claim her in that way?

Lines like that are really popular with japanese fans because it makes Geordo look "sexy" and "forward", which they enjoy in their fictional stories. He knows that his position gives him an advantage so he'll try to play his cards right and use it to increase his chances in victory.

It actually reminds me of a scene from the Hamefura StoryMe game, (don't really know how canon it is but I remember the JP ver. was advertised by @/hamhura) where Geordo indirectly asked Katarina how to woo a girl he really likes, and Katarina thinking he was referring to Maria, gives all the things he usually does in order to win her heart (visit her home, give her gift, dance with her in parties, be really forward about your feelings etc). I'm not saying Katarina approves of the ways Geordo attempts to win her heart, but there's some hilarity in knowing that Geordo already had and is constantly trying all the known ways to win over a girl in the world from a young age, and still has nothing to show for it. Like no awareness, much less any *feelings* lmao. So trying to make it obvious that he is interested in her romantically and sexually seems like the next logical step to him. I mean if you go by Geordo's logic and considering the time period this takes place in, he's pretty confident that he can get Katarina to love him back and they are engaged anyways so in his head he's in safe waters to attempt to make teases about such advancements if it gives him the smallest chance that Katarina would become at least aware of him through it.

Of course I know that stuff like that won't fly here in the real world, but maybe that's why I'm so lenient personally when it comes to his (debatably) sexual teases and advances, because it's a fictional story for a japanese audience. Doesn't mean I would approve any advances like that if it happens to me, it's just that it's hard to take his actions seriously when Katarina or the story doesn't take them seriously. Like, the girl would be pushed down to a bed by RufuSora and gives her a hickey and she still thinks the man is out for her blood.

He wouldn't even be entirely wrong, knowing the identities of the characters who Katarina knows has romantic interest in her in the novels, actions does speak louder than words when it comes to her. Like I said, whether or not Geordo really means what he says when the story teases the readers with sexual implications in his words and action depends on the reader in my opinion. They are there, I wont pretend they don't but I'd argue about the level of intent depending on what scene you're talking about.

The only scenes on the top of my head where he is very abrasive towards Katarina is the "fait accompli" scene, the Book scene form the anime (S1 EP8), saying he wants to lock her in his room (LN6) and the multiple times Geordo had invited her in his room at night alone (LN6 and LN8, i think).

I've already explained why I am okay with both Keith and Geordo's Book scenes from episode 8 of the first season because they are accurate representations of an exaggerated and unhinged versions of their desires towards Katarina so I won't bore you with those details again.

He mentioned in Volume 6 that he wants to lock Katarina in his room forever and keep her light to himself, which alarmed a few people when the book came out, but he said that in a moment where he feels super grateful and loving towards her because she knew how tired he was despite his fake face and without even saying anything. It was a moment where he felt so infatuated towards her that he wished the moment where he gets to rest in her arms would last forever, thus he made such a comment. I make it sound more dramatic than it was in Volume 6, it was just a quick comment honestly lmao.

For people who don't read the novels, that last part looks very sus and raises a few red flags I know, but to be fair we can't definitively say what his intentions are because Katarina never commits to those visits. Katarina has actually become wary of those invitations, because Keith and Mary have warned her that Geordo's intentions are sexual, but I'm not really trusting the word of the two people who are most distrustful and antagonistic to Geordo. They could be right, of course, but who can really say? We assume that they are correct because they care about Katarina and are wary of Geordo, but hamefura('s novels) is full of unreliable narrators anyways, it's not like Keith or Mary would consider the possibility of it being anything else because when it comes to the third prince they always fear the worst case scenario.

If you think about it, Geordo is probably aware that winning her over with a "fait accompli" won't work at all because it'll put him in a position that will make other people push him for the throne (which he doesn't want) or could ruin his reputation in high society if Katarina or her family react to it negatively. I'm not Geordo though, so I can't really say if he even have such fears and doubts in the first place, that's just my assessment based on the obstacles he has. On the outside he is really sure of himself and confident (which he arguably deserves) and on the inside he is very careful and insecure when it comes to Katarina.

Also like, spoilers but for someone who is very forward when it comes to his physical advances, Geordo is super weak when he is in the receiving end of those touches. He gets super embarrassed and easily flustered when its Katarina who is touching him, as if implying that to some extent that he's all just talk lmao.

I don't really agree that Geordo doesn't care about what Katarina feels at all, in fact his inner dilemma in the novels is that he doesn't know what to do because in every step he takes he might do something that could ruin his image in Katarina's eyes, be it pursuing or abandoning the throne or looking like a monster in front of her. He even halts his plans to make advances towards her during the Keith Kidnapping Arc, but threw it away because he knows how much finding Keith means to Katarina. He puts what Katarina want and doesn't want as his priority, so when what she feels is unclear that's when he acts on his own intuition. The only reason Geordo feels so confident to advance towards her sexually is because Katarina never rejected him before (because she doesn't know what they mean, and all of this is for the sake of simply making her aware in the first place)

I'm not trying to make anyone think that one has to read all the books in order to understand him, I think the manga does okay at conveying his feelings too. The anime really prioritizes on making him look "sexy" for the japanese female audience, so anything he does is sprinkled with spice whether we like it or not.

I'm sorry if it seems like I'm overanalyzing all his actions just to justify them, everyone has the right to be uncomfortable with his advances if it seems too much for you. It's just that his actions, while over the top and unnecessary, are done to please the type of audience that hamefura caters to, and it's hard to take him completely seriously when the story doesn't either in my opinion. Doesn't mean he's right or that any of it is okay, but it's his method of trying to put a dent on Katarina's bakashield. When you're in a race versus your friends who Katarina all loves equally, he's gonna use whatever card he can get in order to win.

I like Geordo; I like how much of his feelings for Katarina forces him to reexamine himself and realize that he isn't a perfect prince at all, that he has lots of problems and flaws that he needs to work out in order to be someone worthy of her. I like the way he falls more and more in love with her in every interaction they have because he finally gets to have a genuinely and caring interaction with someone. I like how Geordo wants to do better and be better for Katarina and the people around him, and he wants to be able to thank Katarina directly for that through being able to show his love. I like that despite how much of a chad he acts in front of her, he's a blushing mess at the thought of Katarina returning his feelings. I find it funny when his "sexual advances" fails and gets thwarted because he's trying them on the densest person and most protected lady to ever live. I like how Geordo is so head-over-heals in love with her and how much comfort and warmth she brings to him by simply being her caring and bubbly self.

I guess it's just a matter of different perspectives. If you find him unlikeable or a villain, then you do you. I try to explain why I personally excuse his actions, but I know it wont fly with everyone. We all see each character differently and absorb the material in different ways. In fact it's probably a bad idea for me to defend him with material that isn't the anime nor manga yet lmao. I mean I'm not that much of a fan of Mary anymore, and I'm kinda scared and wary of her, but I know people don't see her the way I do and I'm okay with that.

Maybe its just me, who is the kind of person who just goes with the flow and doesn't think too hard because it's all fiction anyways

It's hard to tell all this from simply watching the anime, so I laid all my feelings down in hopes that someone out there would understand why I like him so much.

Thank you for the ask, you can ask more questions or call me out if I said anything insensitive or wrong, I know a lot of this is me overanalyzing things which might look like I'm jus stretching. As someone who is aware of the things to come in Hamefura X, I can say that I am both excited and nervous as to how everyone will react for the direction of Geordo's character.

#mh ask #hamefura #my next life as a villainess #geordo stuart #katarina claes #geokata #for some reason tumblr wont type the letter E #anyways there are my thoughts please dont hate me lmao #if you dont like Geordo then thats fine #im not forcing anyone to like him #i just wanna explain my own perspective thats all #DONT THROW FIRE AT ME #bakarina #destruction flag otome #hamehura #hamefura spoilers

[eleanorfenyxwrites]

Hi y'all!

So I realized today that it's been about three months since I started cross-posting my stuff to ao3 (those of y'all who were here for After Each Midnight while it was still a wip will know that I've been writing for longer than that but anyway). With the latest fic I just posted, I now have 30 works published to ao3 within those three months! Which is wild to me!

Since that averages out to ten fics a month and I like round numbers, I decided to celebrate by listing my 10 favorite fics...of my own lol. Narcissistic? Maybe! But it's fun anyway!

This is a really long post as each rec includes a summary, an excerpt (or a few), and some personal notes/anecdotes about the writing process or what inspired me to write the fic, etc. so I'm putting it all under the break. If this doesn't sound like your cup of tea then of course please just skip over this one, but for anyone who wants to revisit some of my older works with me, or if you're curious about which fics I personally like the most, or if you want to talk about your favorite fics of mine in the replies or anything, then that's cool too! I just wanted to find a way to mark this down because it feels like something of an achievement ^_^

Thank you!

1. After Each Midnight Begins A New Day, (54,401 words, Rated E) Ship(s): 3zun, Wangxian Summary: When Lan Xichen wakes up the morning after the fifth anniversary of his life crumbling to rubble around him in Guanyin Temple, he's shocked to find both Nie Mingjue and Meng Yao in his bed, both whole and alive and...married to him?! (A time travel fix-it in which the time traveling and fixing of things has already been done by Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian, and Lan Xichen accidentally gets dragged along for the happily ever after.) Excerpt(s):

1. “Poor da-ge,” [Meng Yao] teases again, this time with a bit of an edge, and Lan Xichen cracks one eye open just enough to see him stripping first out of his shoes and socks, then his third layer of robes, then his second, until he’s dressed much as he had been the prior evening - in nothing but a black under-robe so sheer that it actually almost looks gray. It clings to all the petite, lithe curves of him and the sight makes Lan Xichen’s mouth practically water. “What if I want my turn with you now? What if I’m jealous that er-ge got to have you all to himself for hours , while your poor A-Yao had to go have a drink with Xian-didi just to pass the time.” “Oh gods you’re a beast too,” Nie Mingjue groans as Meng Yao slips on top of him gracefully to lean down and pepper kisses up and down his neck and shoulder. “Get off of me, foul creature. Go tempt our husband, I’m temporarily immune to your wiles.” “You’re never immune to my wiles, da-ge, and er-ge is meditating oh so diligently. He’s certainly not smiling and watching us through his lashes as if we’re not well aware of his tricks and what he likes to watch.” - 2. “It took years of practice, you with your painting and I with my answering, but when you were a teenager I finally decided on the best advice I could think to give you: Do not seek for every answer in this life all at once, Xichen,” he instructs with a smile as he returns to painting. “Let them come to you gently and in their season, and trust that all will be as it should in the end.” Lan Xichen takes another breath and returns to his painting with a slightly trembling hand - a trembling that ends up creating a lovely branch on the tree he is painting that, when he turns his head to look, is modeled almost exactly after the one growing in the garden behind the Gentian House, just beyond the window. “I don’t remember ever seeing this tree,” he whispers and Qingheng-Jun hums across from him in clear understanding. “And yet it flows from your brush all the same. Now we can all know that you have nothing to fear, your memories will also come to you in their season. Until then, allow yourself to rest, and remember that you have the support of your family whenever you need it.” “Yes, father,” he replies with a whisper and a tremulous smile, feeling lighter than he has in days. - 3. “I will go into seclusion.” The statement is a stone dropped into the gently rippling water of a spring-fed pool. The stone is jagged and pitted with all that the world has done to chip away at it, to make it rough and painful to the touch. It is sharp in his hands, heavy with all the hurts he still carries in his chest, all the grief he has no more room to hold. He feels lighter with it out of his grasp, the words settling into the ensuing silence with some bittersweet relief.

Notes: I know I've said it before but it bears repeating: this entire fic exists solely because of the smut scene in chapter 1. I thought of the smut first, and then the lead-in to it, and I intentionally left the end of chapter 1 ambiguous - it could have ended right there as an angsty one-shot with Lan Xichen believing that it was all a hallucination, and there's nothing really in the text to say that it's not because Lan Xichen is a very unreliable narrator in this fic. But then I wanted to write the backstory for the smut if, in fact, it wasn't a hallucination - and everything kind of...butterfly-effected out from there to become what it is now, along with all the extras in the series that's now roughly 120k long altogether and still not finished. Oops. Oh and also: this fic that started the ball rolling only exists because for some reason the servers for Omegle went down for months where I live, and prior to that I used to spend hours rp'ing. Without that creative outlet, I filled the vacuum with writing fic instead and now here we are. So if you're grateful for my fics then thank Omegle for sucking for a few months lol --//-- 2. Loving, Loud, Wild, and Theirs (7386 words, Rated T) Ship(s): Xuanli & Gen (kidfic), 3zun (briefly) - an extra for AEM Summary: A brief look at how in this kinder world, Jin Zixuan managed to find and legitimize his three siblings as well as a snapshot of the chaos of love and fun that is his family with his siblings, his beloved wife, and their seven children. Excerpt:

He had listened to [Madam Qin] and her handmaid, and he had believed them, and he had been unsurprised to find himself thinking quite uncharitably of his father following his promise to Madam Qin that he would do everything in his power to make it right, as much as he could. [Jin Zixuan and Meng Yao] return to Jinlintai the day after the next, once their business is concluded. He’s relieved when nothing needs his immediate attention as it means he’s free to retreat into his and Jiang Yanli’s quarters so he can tell her everything that’s weighing on his mind. “No more surprise siblings from now on,” he sighs into the comfort of Jiang Yanli's chest when he’s finished outlining what has happened and his plans to prepare a new suite of rooms in the family wing of the tower. For Qin Su. His sister. Jiang Yanli just laughs her tinkling laugh and kisses him, her hands gentle as she combs his hair back from his face with her fingertips. “You’ve got more siblings now than any of the rest of us,” she teases with a mischievous smile down at him that is a bit too reminiscent of, weirdly, both Wei Wuxian and Mo Xuanyu for comfort. “Two brothers, a sister, and of course we must keep Mianmian in her spot on the list. If you would like to count brothers-in-law as well you’ve also got A-Xian, A-Cheng, Huaisang, Wangji, Xichen, and Mingjue...” He groans and hides his face properly in the soft silk of her robes even as she laughs again over his head.

Notes: This fic is actually a request fill for someone and I had some trouble ending it because there's a lot more I want to write with this wild family, though I did eventually find what felt like a good place to cut it off with 3zun arriving in Jinlintai for the visit they leave for at the end of AEM. There is something of a follow-up floating around my wips that - if it ever gets written - is a direct sequel to AEM that continues where this extra leaves off, with 3zun getting to spend time with their hoard of niblings in Jinlintai. No promises about if/when that will get written though. --//-- 3. Performance Art (8106 words, Rated M) Ships: 3zun, Wangxian (briefly) Summary: A Modern AU inspired by the 'Hysterical Literature' performance art project. Lan Xichen, Nie Mingjue, and Meng Yao take turns doing their best to read aloud from chosen written works as they're filmed. The twist is that they're trying to do so as they're being pleasured with a vibrator controlled by one of their partners off-camera, each of their turns ending when the partner being filmed/played with has an orgasm. Excerpt(s):

1. “Engage people with what they expect; it is..- it…it is what they are able to discern and.. ngh.. confirms their projections. It settles.. ah settles them into predictable-“ He cuts off suddenly to set the book down flat and slap one hand down sharply on the tabletop. Meng Yao simply clicks another button and Nie Mingjue groans as his newly unoccupied hand twitches back to rest on the edge of the table closer to himself, as if about to drop down beneath it. Lan Xichen and Meng Yao both shift forward in their seats but Nie Mingjue catches himself before they have to intervene, returning his hand to the middle of the table and forcing a deep breath into his lungs so he can continue. “-Predictable patterns of..of response, occupying their minds while you w-wait for the ex- extra-“ he huffs out a sharp breath and curls his hand into a fist as he tilts forward and forces out the rest of the sentence in a rush. “Extraordinary moment — that whichtheycannotanticipate. FUCK!” - 2. It’s a few hours of quiet, peaceful work later when Lan Wangji shifts his weight in the way that means he wants Wei Wuxian’s actual attention and not his ‘ I’m sculpting so I’m periodically looking at you ’ sort of attention which he is, of course, quick to grant. He pauses in his muttering half to himself and half to Lan Wangji to say, “Hm? What’s up Zhanzhan?” “From Xiongzhang,” he says by way of explanation, holding his phone out for Wei Wuxian to squint at the screen. It takes him a moment to understand what he’s looking at, his eyes needing a second to adjust to the small black and white video that’s playing after having spent hours looking between Lan Zhan and the clay form taking shape under his hands. “What is this?” he asks as he leans in closer and squints a little harder. He blinks and his eyes go wide in the next moment as he realizes what’s happening on the screen as the woman’s tension climaxes ( literally ) - and then it’s just a hop, skip, and a jump to figure out just why he’d been asked to create an eerily similar setup in his own studio the previous afternoon for three men he might as well consider his sort-of brothers at this point. His next exhale is a wheeze as his ears go hot and Lan Wangji is instantly shrugging into a robe to stand from his lounging position and approach, concern written all over his features. “Wei Ying?”

Notes: I don't really have too much to say about this one except that it brought me so much joy and laughter to write and it honestly kind of surprises me that it's one of my less popular fics - it's nothing but a fun, sexy time! But I'm also terrible at guessing trends/what people will want to see so that might be on me haha. Oh! Also - a minor thing but something I'm very mildly proud of: the narrator voice is dependent on who's behind the camera! I wanted a way to make the person filming feel just as involved as the other two and I thought that was a fun way to do it since within the narrative it's technically going to be their perspective used for the video they're recording. Just to give y'all a little insight into my decision-making when it comes to my writing style for this one. --//-- 4. Anything For My Nie-Zongzhu (6411 words, Rated E) Ship: NieYao - pre-canon (just barely) Summary: Meng Yao is Nie Mingjue's trusted right hand, intelligent and valued by his Sect Leader, at least, who has learned lately to appreciate him a hell of a lot in private too - and for much more personal matters than the minutiae of running the Nie Sect. Seeing as Nie Mingjue trusts him so much, he finds it in himself to ask for something new - for Meng Yao to top him. [Technically an extra for AEM but can be read as a standalone] Excerpt:

“Am I to play into this boorish act you’re putting on tonight?” he teases instead as he steps closer until he’s near enough to feel the way the steam from the bath has turned the air sticky and humid. Nie Mingjue finally looks up at him and Meng Yao is internally crowing with triumph as he watches the lines of tension around his eyes and mouth fall away, his expression smoothing into quiet contentment. He did that. His presence alone is enough to help Nie Mingjue relax. It feels nearly as good as the day the man had angrily defended him to his own disciples and promoted him on the spot. “It’s not an act, I’m plenty boorish,” Nie Mingjue gruffs, returning his gaze to the letter, but this close Meng Yao can actually watch his eyes do nothing but try to glare a hole through the center of the page. “Of course you are, Zongzhu,” Meng Yao allows, his tone openly humoring - as is the smile tightening the corners of his mouth. “Therefore I can only suppose that you would prefer it if I returned to my walk and left you to continue your...correspondence in peace.”

Notes: Once again not really many notes on this one! I just love NieYao, I think their dynamic during Meng Yao's Nie Sect days has so much potential and I love exploring it every so often. --//--

5. Bite The Hands That Feed (1590 words, Rated E) Ship: XiYao Summary: After being forced out of the Nie Sect, Meng Yao has to come to grips with the hunger that's been chasing him his whole life, and he finds temporary satisfaction over and over in Lan Xichen, who is always so generous with his time and his body and is willing to help him feel less empty even just for a night. Excerpt:

He would never bite the hands that feed him, that stuff him full enough to make him believe for a moment that he’s no longer starving. But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t inflict pains. He bites and he scratches and he plants himself in the bloody furrows until flowering moans reward his violent care, until pleasure bursts sun-warmed and sweet between them, berries ripe for the picking. He stains his mouth red with them, his fingers purple with the bruises he paints so delicately on his devotee’s body. If Meng Yao is being clawed to a slow torturous death from within, then it stands to reason that his other half will be ripped to shreds from without. He keeps his nails sharp and his teeth bared to tear into his flesh and drink sweetly of the vintage he offers - sweat, spend, blood, saliva when their mouths meet for crushing kisses. All of it is his to consume. He puts his mouth to the feast of Lan Xichen’s body and eats until the hunger pangs are satiated, drinks until he feels dizzy with it.

Notes: So I wrote this one when I was getting a little tired of the straight narration style of all my other fics and I wanted to try my hand at something looser, a little more prose-like but also a little darker than my usual fluff. I'm not sure how successful I was - this is actually one of my absolute least popular fics, number-wise! - but it's one of my favorites anyway. --//-- 6. A Figure, A Mouth (2788 words, Rated M) Ship: Wenzhou Summary: A quiet, intimate evening spent in the comfort of the Four Seasons Mountain Manor sometime between their arrival/fixing up of the place and the confrontation with Ye Baiyi. Excerpt:

After a while of warming each other up Wen Kexing urges him back up to push the bed under the window just as he’d said he would. Zhou Zishu takes the opportunity to blow out the candles before he rejoins Wen Kexing in their bed, the sudden darkness leaving them free to admire each other clothed in nothing but broad swathes of cool, sweet blue light bisected by deep black lattices of shadow from the trees out in the yard, the shadows from the contours of the wall and decorations around the window blocking and revealing them in turns. Lao Wen is, of course, as beautiful like this as he has been in every way Zhou Zishu has ever seen him, and he takes the time to savor it, to indulge in the decadence that Wen Kexing presents for each of his remaining senses. He’s a feast for the eyes, all hard muscle and skin glistening with glittering diamonds of sweat along his shoulders and the soft curve of his cheek. He’s a symphony for the ears, breathless desire and tender calls of his name that Zhou Zishu never lets go unanswered when they’re like this. By now Wen Kexing is an expert at drawing pleasure from him in every unlikely way there is to make sure that the effects of the nails don’t keep him from reaching his peak at least once, occasionally more in spite of his fading sense of touch.

Notes: Wenzhou makes me so soft and emotional, y'all. The next one on the list is also a Wenzhou fic and I just can't seem to stop writing them in fluffy/smutty situations because it's what they deserve. I really don't have anything more interesting to say about this fic, I just love them haha. --//-- 7. Tease Him Just Enough (2537 words, Rated M) Ship: Wenzhou Summary: A possible outcome if the conversation post-face reveal in episode 6 had gone differently - i.e. if Zhou Zishu had called Wen Kexing out on all his flirting and challenged him to do something about it - and then he does. Excerpt:

They don’t need words to communicate that at least right here in this particular moment there’s no one else they would rather have in their arms, pressed up against their bodies, no one else’s tongue who would find a new home in each other’s mouths or any other body their hands would rather explore. Wen Kexing has already known that they’re fated, but for the first time it feels like they’re agreeing to be so. Even if it’s just for a night. (Not that he thinks it will be just one night for them, but getting Zhou Xu to agree to anything remotely of the kind is like trying to drag a stray back-alley cat into a bath so he’ll take what he can get.)

Notes: My first fic for Word of Honor! The whole time I was watching the show (read: obsessively binge-watching) I was like 'Okay I like this show a lot but it's not nearly as compelling as The Untamed, idk if I'll be motivated to write anything for it'. Then I got to the end and I was like NEVERMIND YES I AM. I played myself. --//-- 8. You Need Tending (12,108 words, Rated T) Ship(s): Lan Wangji & Wei Wuxian, Lan Wangji & Lan Xichen, Lan Qiren & The Jades & Wei Wuxian (this is a kidfic so nothing romantic!) Summary: Wei Wuxian is alone and homeless on the streets of Yunmeng, unaware of the presence of his parents' old friend so nearby. Lan Wangji is a child grieving for the loss of his mother in silence, overwhelmed by the world his uncle keeps dragging him out into. It takes their paths crossing more than once for Lan Qiren to realize just who Wei Wuxian is and that he needs their help, but he gets there eventually. Excerpt:

He watches on as the man comes to a stop next to the boys and squats down to check over the one who had been lost and suddenly he remembers lying on the ground and looking up at a stern-faced man with gentle hands and a ribbon across his forehead. The man who had given him medicine and bandages after a small boy had defended him from dogs, and an older boy had talked to him so kindly and helped him to sit up off the dirt. Wei Ying gasps as the memory hits and he scrambles back down off the roof, landing on the packed dirt of the space between the buildings with an oof, excitement bubbling in his chest. Along with the memory comes a name and it flies from his lips as he scrambles up off the ground to push his way into the crowd again. “Master Lan!” he shouts, his tiny voice lost in the din of the market. He tries to shove closer but the little family is already walking away, their backs to him as he strains against the flow of people much bigger and stronger than him. “Master Lan!” he tries again, desperation lending extra strength and emotion to his cry. Wei Ying stops struggling as he watches the two boys in white walk away, the pair of them flanking Master Lan in his sky blue robes as they move through the market, radiating serenity in the midst of the chaos. His vision blurs and he scrubs his forearm against his eyes angrily to dry them, trying to keep the three of them in his sight for as long as he can just in case they turn around and spot him. Just in case they remember him and maybe want to tell him to come with them.

Notes: Baby Wei Ying T-T He just hits me right in the heart, and so does baby Lan Zhan! And baby Lan Xichen. All the babies. This fic was actually completely inspired by an utterly adorable fanart of Lan Xichen giving a grumpy baby A-Zhan a piggyback ride! I'd been wanting to write a kidfic type fix-it for a while and that art was the spark I needed to come up with something workable. (Edit: here’s my reblog of the art I’m talking about!) --//--

9. Familial Circumstances (5393 words, Rated G)

Ship(s): Lan Qiren & Original Characters, Lan Qiren & Jin Zixuan, Lan Qiren & Qin Su, Lan Qiren & Mo Xuanyu - An extra for AEM

Summary: Another kidfic extra for the horde of children in Jinlintai, this time as seen through the lens of their beloved Great Uncle Lan. It's a simple relationship-study-type look at how all the children love their Great Uncle and how much he loves and treasures them in return.

Excerpt:

An unusual stillness accompanies [Jin Ruhai's] playing. Jin Lu stops fidgeting with her fingers, the twins slip into the perfect stillness of those who are utterly aware of themselves at all times - a trait [Lan Qiren has] noticed in every skilled fighter he’s ever come across - and even Jin Ye relaxes, slumping further and further backwards until she’s slouched down against his stomach, legs dangling over his crossed shins.

The piece isn’t a terribly long one, nor as complex as the next score Lan Qiren intends to teach the boy, but Jin Ruhai’s mastery of it is impressive. Again, Lan Qiren is forcefully reminded of Lan Wangji, always most at peace when behind his instrument to play with and/or for the people he loves.

There’s silence in the room until the last note fades with a shiver into the air and Jin Ruhai pulls his hands back from the instrument. The stillness lasts for one more moment before it’s interrupted by Jin Lu sneezing suddenly and her siblings laugh as the quiet breaks.

“I had to hold that in the whole time !!” Jin Lu laughs as she rubs her sleeve under her nose, one eye screwed shut as she giggles. “I didn’t want to mess up A-Zhuang’s song, it’s so pretty!”

Notes: I'm definitely biased because they're all my oc's except for Jin Ling, but I genuinely love all of the Jin children in the AEM AU. If anyone is ever interested in knowing more about their individual personalities and the like please don't hesitate to ask me, I've actually put quite a bit of thought into all 6 of the kids I created wholecloth and I have a lot of feelings about Jin Ling getting the chaotic siblings and loving parents he was robbed of.

--//--

10. Opportunities To Practice (5710 words, Rated M) (*WIP)

Ship: Xuanli - An extra for AEM

Summary: Jin Zixuan is nervous for his..marital activities with Jiang Yanli - after all, who could he possibly ask for advice? His father? No thank you. Thankfully Jiang Yanli is sweet and patient and knows her husband well - he just needs a bit of time and he'll get it figured out.

Excerpt:

She shivers with an interesting combination of want and intense vulnerability as she stands there, feeling bare in spite of her remaining layer. It’s of a material so sheer as to be practically nonexistent, nothing more than a delicate veil of a red so pale it’s nearly pink that sits on her body like a second skin. Until it falls gently away at the knee to flutter around her ankles, it clings to every curve, every contour, and as she watches Jin Zixuan doesn’t even bother to hang the robe he had just removed on the screen. He lets it drop into a soft pool around her bare feet, his gaze roaming her newly exposed figure - she would perhaps feel strange about it did he not look so devoted , so in awe of seeing her practically naked in front of him.

Yanli gasps softly as he suddenly drops to his knees at her feet and oh - that’s heady. Her body, which she hasn’t really thought of too much in the past beyond the occasional irritation that it’s weaker than she would prefer, has put the man she loves on his knees. He’s looking up at her now, his eyes wide and his hands reverent as he raises them to rest on her thighs, thumbs caressing her too-warm skin through the barely-there robe that bunches up softly under the pressure of his grip.

“You’re right,” he finally breathes, sounding slightly strained. “I’d like this to stay on. If that’s - are you alright?”

“I am,” she reassures.

Notes: This last fic is technically a wip, the only one in the list! However! - it's going to be a collection of one-shots centered around Xuanli and their sexual exploits that lead to their seven children, and possibly also the ones that are just for fun (horny Yanli rights forever). It's not currently high on my list of priorities or anything and the one chapter that's up so far can stand on its own so it's a wip but it's not? I just love Xuanli so much and I want to explore their relationship in my happy fix-it AU whenever the mood strikes, and whenever that happens this is where those one-shots will go.

--//--

And that's it! My personal top 10 favorite fics of my own as of right now. I thought about doing my top 10 according to statistics like hit counts or kudos, but I genuinely love some of these unpopular fics and I wanted to give them some love and attention even if it's just for me. I know there's a lot here to sift through but if any of y'all enjoyed the list or any of the specific fics on it let me know! I liked taking this little pause to take a look at what I've actually been producing these last few months.

Thanks for reading!

#the untamed fanfic #gonna tag the main romantic ships listed: #3zun #NieYao #XiYao #Wangxian #Xuanli #Wenzhou #y'all I legit spent hours formatting this and writing all this out #I also went looking for the fanart that inspired You Need Tending so I could link it and my page refreshed #which I suspected it would do so of course I hit Ctrl+A and copied it all - #only to find out that doing that doesn't extend past the readmore break which I had already put in #so I lost the whole introductory bit and had to rewrite it #T-T I didn't even find the fanart I'm gonna look for it again on mobile cuz it's easier #ANYWAY - literally no one asked for this and I don't even know if anyone was curious to begin with but I wanted to make this anyway soooo #It's also lowkey one of my goals to write something one day that becomes popular enough to end up on rec lists #So this is me kind of indulging that in a very 'tooting my own horn' kind of way that I refuse to apologize for #No shame in my game #Also if you see any typos or formatting weirdness No You Don't :) I've been doing this for 5+ hours and I'm hUNGRY

[the-lady-writes-what]

Twisted Dream

Yandere!Izuku Midoriya x Fem!Reader

WARNING: Contents include somnophilia, non-con/dub-con, drugging, unhealthy perceptions, “yandere” behavior, blackmail, emotional manipulation, and an unreliable narrator. Readers discretion is advised. 

(All underaged characters are aged up. I do not writer minors in adult situations. Izuku is over 18 here)

Izuki snuck into the master bedroom undetected, quiet as a mouse. He groped around in the shadows but quickly found his footing. He passed around the room as if he had been within the confines of Katsuki's bedroom several times beforehand. But not for the reason one might think. It was never his rival and school bully that garnered Izuku's obsession. Somebody like Katsuki could never understand how good he had it. Top-ranking pro-hero, wealthy, and above all married to the most beautiful woman ever born. Someone who bullied and stepped on others to get what they wanted could never understand the passion made manifest in Izuku.

How did Katsuki manage to bag a refined woman like you, Izuku wondered. You had all the gifts and virtues Katsuki so desperately lacked. You were cultured, intelligent, witty, and oh-so-delicate. You were as fragile as a porcelain doll. How did only Izuku see it? He thought about how Katsuki looked at you from time to time. A piece of meat, a trophy wife, an art piece for him to show off to all his friends. Izuku never saw love in Katsuki's eyes for you, only admiration of you brought to the table of his pride and reputation. It churned Izuku's stomach watching from afar. All of your smiles had to be fake underneath it all. There was no way you could smile with any sincerity while holding Katsuki's hand. 

So, there he was. He was standing in the middle of that bedroom with both you and Katsuki, unaware of his presence. Izuku heard your slow, steady breathing. Unhurried, Izuku made his way over to you and watched you sleep. Your clothes were rumpled and wrinkled from when you probably fell asleep as soon as the drug took effect. You discarded your shoes by the door, a fact Izuku confirmed when he almost tripped over them while sneaking inside. For the longest time, Izuku stood there to watch you. You were perfectly, completely unaware of what caused your sudden dizziness and strolled to your room to lay down for the rest of the evening. What you didn't know was that Izuku had followed behind to make sure that you didn't hurt yourself on the way up. It was the least he could do since it was his fault. You left your drink unattended. The wife of a pro-hero should have known bette

Izuku's hand trembled as he lifted the sheet and proceeded to make you more comfortable. Your silk dress in (favorite color) clung to your body like a second skin. Your darkened cheeks made you look so-deliciously innocent once you were naked. Moonlight streaming between the curtains cast a silver glow on your skin. Your soft, rounded breasts heaved with each breath; Izuku licked his lips. The bed dipped slightly under his weight. He crawled over your body and delighted in how the coolness of the evening somehow made your skin softer and more pliable than if you lay sweating in humid summer. 

Izuku palmed your breasts, marveling at your twin peaks. He noticed how quickly your nipples pebbled at the first touch of his hand. Izuku threw off his shirt, vest, and tie and let them all pile on the floor. Katsuki wouldn't be coming upstairs anytime soon; Izuku made sure of it. Izuku's eager hands felt up your body. Since you couldn't protest, Izuku caressed, groped, and even pinched to his heart's content. Goosebumps arose all over your flesh. You shuddered in your dreamless slumber, only vaguely aware of what was happening to you. It felt more like a hyper-realistic dream than a dangerous reality. Izuku bent his head down and took one of your nipples into his mouth. He looked up at your face to make sure that you hadn't stirred too much before he started sucking. He licked and sucked on your breast like a hungry baby. He moaned softly while his other hand teased your other breast. Izuku bobbed his head while he sucked, unable to stop his hunger, then switched places. He treated the other as the first until he covered your chest in his spit and love bites. The dark violet marks stood out like bright arrows marking you as his. 

Izuku felt himself harden with all of his administration. Just touching you was enough to get him going. He could come then and there, spraying your body with more marks of his possession. But it wouldn't be enough. Katsuki needed to know that he may have married you, but that didn't make you 'his.' That honor belonged to someone else, and Izuku was about to demonstrate that. His calloused fingers ran down your torso, played with your plush hips, and scored down your legs. He rubbed your muscles, then moved back up again. Your thighs parted with ease for him. Izuku shuddered as you opened to him like a flower bursting into bloom. Thin curly (hair color) hair hid a fantastic treasure. Izuku parted your folds and uncovered that sweet-looking bundle of nerves. He needed you to feel good before he did; Izuku couldn't control himself anymore. 

Izuku dove between your legs. Your taste was unlike any other. He practiced on peaches for tonight, unsure of himself how best to please you. When you moaned in your sleep, he took it to mean to continue. Even in your sleep, you trusted that he could please you better than Katsuki could. Izuku licked and teased you with his tongue buried inside of you. His fingers were busy pinching your clit. His touch made you whine helplessly. Though still unconscious, your body shifted, and your hands twisted in the sheets. Izuku moaned as he worked. It wasn't long before he felt your walls flutter then clench tight. A flood of your essence coated his mouth. Izuku cleaned up the mess he made of you as he didn't want to waste a single drop.

Izuku’s cock strained against his pants. He stripped bare and quickly rearranged your body. You were still wonderfully pliant when he laid you out on your stomach with your head facing towards the door. Izuku pulled at your hips until he lifted them off the bed. He spread you open, the sight of which made him pause. Not out of anything like morality, but to adore your wet cunt he was about to ruin for Katsuki.

Izuku didn't wait. His pulse hammered against his temples as he aligned his cock against you. With one thrust, he buried his cock to the hilt. A groan erupted from deep within his throat. You felt so warm, wet, and tight inside for him; it was all for him. 

"I love your body so much right now, Y/N. You're so tight and warm for me." Izuku started moving. 

You moaned in your sleep while Izuku impaled you over and over. He roughly grabbed your hips and brought your body closer to his. There was almost no space between you. A thin sheen of sweat appeared on Izuku's brow as he plowed into you. He grit his teeth to keep himself from thrusting harder and hurting you. Your tight walls made it almost impossible for him 'not' to want to fuck you into the mattress. He wished that your eyes would open, and you saw him. Izuku wondered what your voice would sound like once you were splayed out for his pleasure alone. Would you mewl like a kitten or scream like a banshee as he fucked you? 

Izuku couldn't imagine you acting like a tigress in bed. No, you were pure and simple. So easily corruptible. He was going to make you crave no one else but him. Izuku thrust in your body until your walls clenched around him. Warmth spread over his cock as you unconsciously came around him. The feeling of you surrounding him was enough to make Izuku throw caution to the wind. He bruised your hips while slamming hard into your tight cunt. 

Izuku snapped his hips harshly against yours. His eyes scanned the room while he was still fucking your sleeping body. In the dark, a small red light shined in the corner of the room. Anybody wouldn't notice it unless they knew what they were looking for. He positioned himself so that the camera got a good look at what was being done to you. The camera didn't record audio, just video. Izuku would have to save a copy for himself later. 

The thought of Katsuki eventually seeing his wife being railed from behind sent a pleasurable thrill through Izuku's body. His orgasm zipped shot down his body to his cock. Surrounded by your warm, tight walls, he came. Izuku bit his lower lip to keep himself from crying out too loud. He emptied himself. Slowly, Izuku pulled out. He quickly went to work erasing what he could of his presence in the room. There was a bathroom attached to the master bedroom; he used to dampen a washcloth and clean you up. Izuku dressed quickly and made a swift exit.

Three weeks later, Katsuki received an anonymous package at his agency. After testing it for drugs or explosives, he found a seemingly innocuous flash drive.  He put it into his computer, and the flash drive contained only a single file. Katsuki played it, then read the note found inside the envelope: If you don't divorce your wife, we will make this video public. How does it feel, hero, to have been unable to stop what happened to your wife?

You fell quickly into Izuku's waiting arms. It was as if he knew you needed a shoulder to cry on. You silenced that nagging little voice in your head that said something was off. Izuku wouldn't have any reason to know why Katsuki started filing; they hadn't spoken in years. While you wept into Izuku's chest, clinging to him like a life-saving buoy, you couldn't see the smile creeping on his face.

#my hero academia #my hero academia fanfiction #mha #boku no hero academia #boku no hero fanfic #mha fanfiction #mha smut #bnha fanfiction #bnha smut #reader fic #yandere content #18+ only #minors dni #izuku #izuku midoriya #deku #Izuku x reader #Deku x reader #Yandere!Deku #unreliable narrator #non con #non con material #readers discretion is advised #Minors begone

[regolithheart]

what do you think about the Nesta/Cassian/Mor conflict? also looking forward to your fics!!

Hi beautiful, sweet, innocent, Nonnie!!

Thank you for writing to me. Like I said, I could talk about Nessian all day and I am full. of. #thoughts. I could give you a short sweet answer, but it’s week six of quarantine, I had a brownie for dinner, and I don’t know what day it is. In the end, you’ll probably regret asking me, but lets just jump into it, shall we?

Unpopular opinion: I don’t like Rhys, Mor, or Feyre. So if you don’t want to hear what I have to say in regards to them, thanks for stopping by. No need to read further. 

I’ve never loved Feyre, but I think that has more to do with the fact that I just don’t like main characters in a series. Would I have preferred to read Hermione Granger and the Prisoner of Azkaban? You bet your ass. I also don’t like Rhys for the same reason, but also I dislike Rhys more than Feyre and for additional reasons which we will get to later.

I hate that I dislike Mor, because I loved her so much in ACoMaF and for a hot minute I shipped Mor and Azriel because I am a sucker for the unrequited love trope. A real sucker. And maybe, maybe I could have overlooked the retconning of her being a lesbian (yes, it was a retcon. Fight me.), if it weren’t for the fact that it makes her look really really bad and makes her treatment of Azriel even worse. I get it. I do. Her working through being okay with telling the others any of her business is part of her personal journey, but being honest to someone you claim to love about not being able to love them the way they hope to be is different than telling them you can’t be in a relationship because you prefer the opposite sex. Listen, I obviously have thoughts about this, but that’s not what the question was about so I’ll move on. 

Mor and Cassian’s relationship is a dangerous one. They both use each other as a crutch. From day one, Mor was using Cassian. Now, I don’t think she was doing it maliciously, but he appealed to her because he was already one of the most powerful Illyrians and a bastard to boot. Why do you think Mor chose Cassian and not Azriel? Sure, she wanted to own her own body. She wanted to decide who she gets to sleep with, but she decided she wanted to sleep with someone before going to the Autumn Court to stick it to Keir and the establishment. And what better way to stick it to them than to choose an Illyrian bastard. Because being the illegitimate son of an Illyrian lord is still ranked higher than being someone with no father and a dead mother. Mor knew exactly what she was doing when she chose Cassian. She is Rhys’ third-in-command for a reason. She aint no dumdum.

And for 500 years it was all good, right? Mor didn’t care who Cassian hooked up with because she knew they were no threat. But as soon as someone comes along that Cassian has feelings for, like true, legit, feelings, she cannot handle it. Because if she loses Cassian as a buffer then she really will have to be honest with Azriel (the horror). And so what does she do? She gets possessive. She outright hates Nesta and does not hold her feelings or tongue back. Now, some people are going to say that Nesta is the worst. She was horrible to Feyre growing up, she’s rude, she’s belligerent, and she can be a straight up bitch. Yeah. No argument there. We’ve all read the books. We have see the evidence throughout the whole entire series. But so is Rhys, so is Mor, so is Feyre, and Cassian and Amren. The only difference, is that a) they all have each other’s backs while no one has Nesta’s and b) we get to see everyone’s reasons and everyone’s POV except for Nesta’s. Feyre is an unreliable narrator, which is why I’m looking forward to seeing Cassian and Nesta away from Feyre in book 4 because I don’t trust her to tell me what’s going on for realsies. 

Honestly, the scene that made me straight up get so pissed at Mor was in ACoFaS when Nesta shows up to the Solstice party and Elain gives Nesta her present. All of Cassian’s attention is pointed to Nesta and what does Mor do? She forces Cassian to pay attention to her by choosing that exact moment to give him his Solstice present. Not any other time before or after when Cassian barely even glances Nesta’s way, but during the what, five seconds, he’s looking at her? PLEASE! It’s so passive aggressive and I hate it. I hate it!

I think the thing that bothers me the most abut Cassian and Mor’s relationship is that it really is just a miniature version of Cassian’s relationship with the Inner Circle in regards to Nesta. But really, when I say Inner Circle, I mean Rhys. I hate how Rhys treats Nesta, thinks of Nesta, and dismisses Nesta. Does he have his reasons? Sure. Are they valid reasons? He sure thinks they are, but like I said before, he’s no angel and we got to hear his full story so until we get Nesta’s full story then I don’t need my inbox blowing up. And honestly, if it turns out that Nesta really is as bad as everyone thinks she is, that’s still not going to change my opinion of her. I mean, why have you even read this far if you don’t like Nesta? Has anyone read this far, period? 

What I mean to say is that Cassian loves his family. He loves Nesta. The problem is that his family and Nesta don’t love each other and he will always feel torn apart over it. Cassian knows that Rhys hates Nesta. He can barely acknowledge her existence in front of Rhys and Azriel because they barely do. Yeah, his feelings are complicated right now. He’s hurt, and angry, and confused, and still loves her and can’t work out his feelings because he doesn’t have a safe place to do so. If there’s anyone he should feel comfortable going to to work out these feelings with, it’s Rhys, Az, and Mor but he can’t because he knows exactly how they feel about her, which is that they tolerate her at best. And even then, do they? 

I don’t want Cassian to feel like he has to choose between Nesta or his family, but as the situation stands, he probably does feel like that. I mean, who knows. Maybe he’s already chosen his family over Nesta. It’s not like she’s making an argument on her own behalf. But we know Cassian loves Nesta. Even if he’s annoyed with her, or mad, or frustrated with her, we know that he honest-to-the-Mother loves her. But until everyone can heal, and understand one another, and accept each other, it’s a lose-lose situation all around. Notice how I didn’t say love, or even like. 

Do I feel sorry for Cassian? Yes. Do I think he’s entirely faultless? Nope. Yes, he’s in a shitty situation, but honestly if he had a real conversation with Mor (and the Inner Circle) about his feelings about/for Nesta and confront her about her treatment of Nesta, he’d get different results. Do I think he’s terrified of having an actual, honest conversation? You betcha.

And yeah, we all know that Nesta isn’t making the situation any easier. But she’s hurt and suffering more than any of us really know. Do I think she's entirely blameless? Absolutely not. But I do feel that Rhys and Mor are extra judgmental of her because they already have their preconceived notions of her and anything she’s done contrary to that is ignored while everything she does that reiterates it is magnified. But here I am getting derailed again.

Nesta feels unloved. We can argue whether or not it is deserved another time, but the fact is that she feels unloved. Probably has always felt unloved. So every time Cassian choses to look at Mor instead of Nesta, it’s confirmation to her that she will never be anyone’s first choice. Look, the only man who said he loved her turned out to be abusive and assaulted her. And then when her father declares that he loves her, he gets murdered right in front of her eyes. Elain is the only other person Nesta knows loves her, and now she’s chosen Feyre and the Inner Circle over her (at least she has in Nesta’s eyes). You see where I’m going with this, right?

Except for the few dire times during the war--like when they’re legit in battle for their lives and emotions are running high--does Cassian let himself show Nesta that he cares for her. The only other times is when they’re by themselves. We know it’s because Cassian hides behind his bravado. But to Nesta, who probably has the worst opinion of herself, it probably means he’s ashamed to show it. Or he’s uncertain. I know we don’t have proof of this in the text, but I like to think I understand Nesta on a deep level, I can just imagine that’s how she’s feeling. Nesta pushes people away so that she doesn’t get disappointed when they decide to leave on their own accord. Nesta fought for Feyre, she fought for Elain, and she fought for Cassian. And in ACoFaS they all essentially turned their backs on her. And you wonder why she has so much rage in her frozen heart. 

TL;DR (not that I blame you): It’s complicated and it’s messy and everyone involved has contributed to it’s tangled mess of jealousy, insecurity, selfishness... but I also place more responsibility on the two 500-year-olds than I do on the 23-year-old. 

I’m really interested to see how it plays out in the next book(s), but I will tell you right now, I am on team Nesta Archeron and will be until my dying breath. 

Also, if you made it to the end...

#anon ask #acotar #nesta archeron #cassian #cassian archeron #nessian #morrigan #listen don't blow up my inbox #because I have opinions #thoughts #long ass post #seriously come talk to me

[codevassie]

Superpower TS Fic Recs

[***Let me know if I’ve missed anything on the Content Warnings!]

[**Do Not Ask Authors for Updates!]

[*Leave these authors Comments, please and thank you!]

What You Can Stand by manyfandomsonelog

Status: Incomplete, Work In Progress

Summary:  Virgil tried so, so hard to avoid becoming a supervillain. He really did. But when your superpower is literally manifesting a person's worst fears, it's a hard thing to avoid. Still, he really, really tried. Even when his own parents feared him. Even when the whole school feared him. Even when he hated himself and his Propensity so much that he wanted to give in. He might've succeeded, if he hadn't met him- Roman Reyes, AKA Roman Spectacular, AKA The Prince, AKA the worst thing that has ever happened to him (which is saying something).

Relationships: Prinxiety, Logicality 

CW: Psychological stuff, nightmares, bullying, physical harm, spiders, panic attacks, suicidal thoughts, brief discussion of racism, self-hatred,  bomb, explosion, blood, injury, bad/abusive parenting, imprisonment, fire,  homophobia, pedophilia mention, discussion of child abuse, evidence of physical abuse, sexual innuendo, anxious thoughts, death, funeral, flashback, reference to sex, fairly aggressive arguing and yelling, public speaking, secondhand embarrassment

My thoughts: My quarantine savior!!! I started the fic like a week into quarantine, so I really mean that literally. The characterization is absolutely fantastic--I love seeing all of them interact. It’s so natural and fun and interesting. The plot is also just wonderful--one thing keeps happening after another and these guys just cannot seem to get a break. The pacing is awesome, and whether it’s a character or plot chapter, you just can’t look away. Log is such a fantastic writer and a wonderful person, so if you like awesome prinxiety, superpowers and secret identities, trust and betrayal, humor and angst, you really need to read this one! 

Rewind by ravenclawicecream 

Status: Incomplete, Work In Progress

Summary: When a group of superheroes show up to kill him, it's just another Wednesday for Virgil Messana. After five years of being on the run, he's used to the idea people want him dead. That fact is just an unfortunate side effect of having the power to destroy everything you touch. What does surprise him, however, is when he finds himself agreeing to join those superheros and become part of the team. It's not long until Virgil learns that all the heroes have chapters of their lives they'd rather keep unpublished, along with events they'd rather not relive. And, as he spends more time with the team, he realizes that he may know certain members much better than he'd originally thought. Virgil longs for a moment to figure everything out but by then it's too late. He's already caught up in a bigger scheme; one where they no longer have the power to control their own destinies. With every movement monitored and every action proven to be calculated, the lines between allies and enemies blur, leaving Virgil caught in between. When the stakes are inevitably raised, the remaining heroes must do all they can to change the future of the world. But time has always been a cruel master, and sometimes the only answer is to rewind.

Relationships: Loceit, Logicality, Prinxiety, Remile

CW: Major Character Death, Murder

My thoughts: Gosh, I wish this one got more love. It’s probably the MCD tag, so understandable, but also take into consideration the time travel tag and perhaps give it a chance? I feel like this fic is setting up for so much, and I cannot wait to see how it all goes down. I have so many questions for this fic which is always a good sign (so many that I may have freaked the author out with my WALL of questions on chapter three don’t worry about it /j). Please. Read. This. 

Powerless by patentpending 

Status: Complete

Summary: “People like us,” Logan had once remarked to Virgil. “Are statistical anomalies.”(Almost) Everyone in the world has powers. As for those who don’t, well, they’re such a small part of the population - only 0.04% - why would anyone care about them?Ever since he realized what people mean when they call him Powerless, Virgil Sanders has tried to fight back against the system that oppresses people like him, Patton, and Logan. When Patton’s bakery is targeted in a hate crime, he finally snaps. With the help of a mysterious sponsor, Virgil becomes a villain, ready to remake a broken society. The only thing standing in his way is the world’s most Powerful (and infuriatingly charming) superhero: The Prince, who is hiding the fact that his gilded life isn’t as perfect as it may seem.

Relationships: Prinxiety, Logicality, Roman/Female Fanon Character 

CW: Classism, Unreliable Narrator, Thinly Veiled Criticism of Society,  emetophobia, violence, gun mention,  implied suicide attempt, dub-con, mentions of blood, graphic depictions of a riot, non-graphic description of a wound, possessive and abusive behavior, kid being kicked out of the house by parent, kidnapping, kinda torture (?), body horror, gore, graphic descriptions of injuries, emotional abuse, police brutality, pain and injury, burning building, swearing, vomiting, murder, panic attack, dysphoria, misgendering, minor character death, major character death, self deprecating talk, mentions of suicide

My thoughts: Well, doing a TS superhero rec without Powerless is just treason. I don’t know--I’m trying to figure out a way to describe it and instead launching up to pace around the room with an instant replay of different scenes in my head. I mean, the grocery store chapter?!?! This stuff lives in my head rent free. The characterization, the banter, the tension, the motives--I can’t describe it y’all. Just, if you love yourselves (love yourselves, please <3) then just go read it. Or reread it. Do that for yourselves. 

Waterspout by Greenninjagal

Status: Complete

Summary: "Hail!” The boy says all smug smiles that Virgil immediately hates. “You’re Recluse aren’t you?”As if there was some other spider themed weirdo who clung to buildings in their free time.“No,” Virgil says, because he can. *** Virgil finds himself stuck on the side of a building in a rainstorm and is helped by an annoying-admittedly attractive-guy.

Relationships: Prinxiety

CW: Mild cursing, storms

My thoughts: This one is very cute. Virgil is a spiderman-like hero who went up a waterspout, and down comes some rain trying to wash him out. Roman comes to help, they banter a bit, and, maybe, there’s a little surprise at the end. I would not mind more of this AU. In fact, I would love it. But that should not discount how wonderfully made a oneshot it is either. The author wrote it perfectly for the length it is, presenting the charm of the characters, great plot and symbolism, and left me wanting more at the same time. Definitely go check this one out. 

Technically. It’s A Secret by supervillain 

Status: Incomplete, Work In Progress

Summary: Virgil Storm, the adopted son of a reality TV star with telekinesis was born without a power. That's been a problem for him all his life. His only friend is Patton Vega, his only chance at romance the irritating Cros Corson--until he gets a job at a top-secret facility, playing babysitter to a bunch of kids with dangerous powers and even more dangerous minds. Kids who happen to be exactly his age.Yeah, this is going to be a piece of cake, especially when the enigmatic villain Believe (aka Roman Torres) takes a liking to Virgil. And even worse, when Virgil starts to more than like him back. Pull in some evil mad scientists, a plague created to decimate the world, a murderous villain, an obnoxious stalker, and the greatest Kinetic the world has ever known, and you're in for a hell of a ride.

Relationships: Prinxiety, Logicality 

CW:  Anxiety attacks, arson, murder, minor character death, blood, spiders, being eaten alive, falling, death, sleeping, fighting, cop mention 

My thoughts: I’m behind on this one, and I wanted to catch up on it before I posted this rec list. Today is the last Friday of the year though, so I decided to just go ahead and do it. I love this fic a ton so far, and I can’t wait to read more. I can tell the author put a lot of thought into writing the world and characters, and that the plot is interesting and deliberate. There’s mysteries unfolding which intrigues me So Bad. It’s a super interesting one, so I’d say go read it!

#fic recs #sanders sides #ts #friday fic recs #prinxiety #NOTE: the two that have a wall of CWs are mostly just warnings from the beginnings of chapters #which means they can be skipped over fairly easily #so today is the last friday of the year (holy snit) so i wanted to get this out #i've been trying to make this list since like may but i don't read a whole lot of superpower aus #hope everyone is having a great one!

[smudged-ink-writing]

Present Tense in AADDTSOTU

(This is long but I Promise you it’s important.)

Okay. So. This is a thing I thought about last night (technically early this morning) at a truly ungodly hour, and here I am, with my brain back in place, revisiting. 

Obviously, aaddtsotu is written from Ari’s perspective in the first person, and is past-tense. That’s not new. 

BUT. 

There’s this thing that BAS does sometimes, where Ari will start speaking in the present tense, as though he’s telling you the story that took place some time ago. We don’t know when he’s telling/writing the story (personally, I like to think that he writes it when the boys are a little bit older and it helps him continue to process everything that happened, but that’s just me). 

Now, lots of times, this just looks like: “Gina Navarro. I’d know that voice anywhere.” (pg 215) That’s just a quick little sentence that tells you, sure, we don’t know when he’s telling the story but we know he either still talks to Gina or has many memories of her. I think the former is more likely, but again, we don’t know. 

Another example: “People talk to dogs. Not that they understand. But maybe they understand enough.” (pg 190) And that one’s pretty ambiguous, just shows that, yeah, this book is in past tense, but the narrator still exists in present time and can recognize that the passage of time doesn’t change some things. Yeah, so it’s a thing. Ari’s a flawed narrator, as is every narrator, especially in the first person, who isn’t omniscient. He swings into present tense when something still applies, which makes sense and definitely fits his voice and personality. 

That happens quite a few times. I kind of paged through the book, barely paying attention, and I spotted a few just like that. 

And then, this happens. This goddamn thing that really throws me off. You know how long I’ve thought about this?? Too fucking long. Too. Fucking. Long.

OKAY so if you have the book, I urge you to read chapter twelve of the section called “Letters On a Page,” which starts on page 182. It’s short, less than two pages. Go read it. I’ll wait. 

If you don’t have to book (or you don’t feel like reading the chapter), that’s fine, I’ll throw in some quotes. 

It’s written entirely in the present tense, which in itself is like,,, okay,,, what the fuck,,, but okay,,, So the chapter starts with this: “When I think about the dream about my brother, I think about the fact that the last time I saw him was when I was four. So there is a direct connection between the dream and my life.” (pg 182) And that’s certainly interesting. He’s still thinking about the dream in the present time, whenever that may be. 

There’s some more stuff about Bernardo, and the difference between prison and jail, and yada yada yada... 

“So that’s where my brother is. Prison. I don’t know if he’s in a federal prison or a state prison. I don’t know why a guy gets sent to one or the other.”

So that there quote, that tells us two things: Ari still cares about Bernardo but he’s still not educated about prison, and he’s certainly not sure about the actual, physical whereabouts of his brother. 

Which just tells us, further, that Lilly and Jaime didn’t tell him about that. Is there a reason? Probably. Do we know that reason? No, we don’t. Recall the reason for Bernardo’s imprisonment, and you’ll come to the inclusion that Bernardo’s not exactly the proudest LGBTQ+ ally out there, and they want to protect their obviously-queer Ari from going to see him and getting his heart broken. Yeah. So that could be a reason, but I’m simply speculating. 

The second thing that comes from that quote is that Bernardo is, at the time Ari’s writing this, still in prison. It’s highly likely that he was sentenced to life in prison (I mean, I’d guess, after two second-degree murders/maybe, possibly third-degree), so this actually isn’t that important. 

He goes on to say, “I am going to find out why my brother is in prison. It’s a research project. I’ve thought about it. I’ve thought and thought about it.” 

And that??? Makes not so much sense. Because we KNOW that his parents told him why. We know that. He got the full story. 

So why, why why why, would BAS put that in present tense? It’s the only time this happens in the entire book, as far as I know. What the fuck is going on?

File that away for a few moments. 

At the very end of the chapter, Ari says, “If Dante were here, he could help me. He’s smart. He’d know exactly what to do. I don’t need Dante. I can do this on my own.”

And that scared the shit of out me. Like?????? Please don’t????? What??????

I would really, really like to think that, instead of the boys breaking up at some point after the book, it’s something else. I’d like to think this is Ari writing in his journal and the editor forgot to put it in italics to show that it is. 

But I know that BAS is careful with his work. I know that, and I trust that. He’s been a poet for a long time, and that teaches you some shit about being precise. Besides, it’s a whole-ass chapter and not a little fluke line or whatever. I think this was intentional. 

I just. Don’t know what this means. Why was it written like that? What is this trying to tell us? 

Take it at face value, and you get this: Ari found out something more about Bernardo post-book and wants to figure it out, and he and Dante broke up/aren’t on speaking terms or has to leave again and Ari’s not so happy about that.

Based on what BAS has said, the boys will still be together in the second book (thank fuck). So I don’t think that’s true.

If anyone has any idea (looking at you, English and Creative Writing majors)(hey @rareandbeautifulthing) what this means, I’d love to hear it. 

Ari is an unreliable narrator, as we all know. I mean, the guy was the last person to know he’s queer, save for Dante who probably had a very strong hunch. But this. This is too much. 

#i'm sorry #this is basically a really long question #Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe #aristotle and dante #Benjamin Alire Saenz

[skysybil]

Penumbra Superlatives: Most Likely To Be A Dark Matters NPC

The people demanded it, and I am indeed a magnanimous conspiracy theory machine, so here is my incredibly ridiculous reasoning behind my “who is in the dark matters simulation and who is fake” ranking, found here. Thank you to my partner for listening to me yell about this for 24 hours straight now. Man, I am gonna look like an idiot if this isn’t a Dark Matters induced simulation or dream in the end with how all-in I’ve been going with this.

Also, if you guys ever want me to lay out every fucking tiny detail I’ve seen that I think points to it being a simulation, I’ll do that too. Please validate me.

This is insanely long, it’s like two to three paragraphs for every member of the space family. This is kind of shameful, I almost feel bad. I’ll be your best friend forever if you read it all. Also, I’m putting it below the cut for everyone’s sanity. Anyway, let’s go lesbians, let’s go!

First, in the “definitely an active participant” category: Rrrrrita!

I’ll admit, it’s genuinely really hard to tell what discrepancies in the story are suspicious simulation details and what is just Rita being a particularly unreliable narrator. However, my first general point towards Rita being an active participant/player/whatever you want to call it is the fact that we’re experiencing this through her perspective! I think it would be really cool to tell the story from the perspective of a caricature puppeted by Dark Matters, but I feel like it would be way more obvious in gaps in her thinking patterns if she was fake. Honestly, I personally think it would be impossible to run it from the perspective of one of these NPCs (as i’m calling them) anyway, because... you know, they probably don’t have much in the way of thoughts in the first place. 

Plus, out of everyone in the group, she is most likely to be plucked out of a group of criminals by Dark Matters to recruit. Sasha knows her (or at least knows of her) and how good she is at her job. I’m sure she’s got a target on her back as someone that’s too powerful (seriously, I pray for the universe the day Rita realizes just how quickly she could take over the world--see: my THEIA Rita AU that i came up with this morning which I might post about later), but I’m also pretty sure killing Rita would be seen as a wasted opportunity. This could just be another test, just like Day That Wouldn’t Die but in an even more controlled environment. The perfect trap, the perfect test--hopefully for perfect results. And with how she tends to get caught up in glamour and drama or get distracted so easily, she’s one of the easiest members of the group to trick into not questioning the little discrepancies that comes from living in a lie.

---

Next, Vespa. Love of my life and the only other member of the Carte Blanche crew that I’m almost totally sure is sharing space in this simulation.

She’s in a similar position that she’s a valuable asset for Dark Matters to try and take on--especially if they can use her past debts as blackmail or something along those lines. She’s a damn good assassin and they tend to specialize in making people disappear. Why wouldn’t they seize the opportunity to test her and see if she could truly work for them? Dark Matters also seems to lack an ethical core, to say the least, and if they consider her past trauma and her illness to be an issue, I’m sure they wouldn’t be against trying to “fix” her in their horribly scummy ways just so she could be a better killer for their organization. It could also be related to her skills as a doctor with the crew, to be fair--while Rita is off building robots and trying to break into a super secret base, Vespa is repairing the entire medical wing, an incredibly suspicious task when apparently enough of the ship survived that Rita’s computers are okay, the entire crew is unscathed, and the Ruby isn’t a warped hunk of metal.

Though she is also very likely to be nabbed by Dark Matters as an opportunity, the main condemning thing against Vespa being an NPC is the conversation we overhear with Buddy. No one else knows that Vespa considered or decided on leaving the crew. We can’t say that’s a part of Rita’s mind affecting the simulation around her because Rita doesn’t know, and it’s not information that could be hacked, either. It was just in her mind. Unless Dark Matters has their hands on new mind reading technology (oh god, not this shit again), there’s no way that the scene with Vespa and Buddy could exist unless Vespa is also inhabiting the simulation. Every scene they choose to include is deliberate. To rule Vespa out of the plan, all it would’ve taken was likely just Vespa being her normal defensive self. Why would they include a scene with a look into that vulnerability if it didn’t matter?

Speaking of the Vespa and Buddy scene--but why would Vespa snap at Rita that badly if she’s real, you might ask. You’re right, Vespa is aggressive but not that aggressive normally, and it stood out in the few interactions we saw. In Vespa’s defense, if she is participating in this simulation, she is understandably freaked the fuck out. Vespa spends every day of her life hyperaware of what might be real and what might be fake around her. She’s most likely to figure out that something is very wrong first simply because of that trait. How much of her mind is Dark Matters manipulating? Would DM have to simulate her hallucinations, or would that come naturally along with her mind being stuck in this simulation? I imagine that for every discrepancy we’ve picked up on, she’s picked up on six--but she no longer has the explanation of it being a hallucination. I imagine it’s frustrating and terrifying for her. I’d be on edge, too!

---

Moving into our next category: “probably in the simulation”, with our only candidate Buddy.

Buddy is my question mark character. We barely interacted with her this episode. From what I can tell, most of what we saw from her seems in character, and she had some wicked fucking lines. I’m sorry, I refuse to give Dark Matters credit for the line “If you imagine all that could go wrong, all you’ve done is drag yourself through a thousand disasters. And even in the worst-case scenario, you will only need to live through one.” Because it genuinely made me feel better in real life, goddammit.

Buddy is mostly in this category for lack of evidence, both with the lack of interaction and with how Rita kind of glazed over the family meeting with her distractions. So, it’s hard to say. I’d love to hear others’ theories on Buddy’s place in this.

---

Now, we cross the threshold into those that are probably not in the simulation, or are acting incredibly suspicious: the “on thin fucking ice” category. First, Peter. 

Can this bastard decide on his personality for two whole minutes so I can get a handle on the little intricacies of the new Ransom persona? No? Goddammit. It’s hard to tell how much of the way he acted was genuinely suspicious and how much of it is the mask he’s put on for Peter Ransom. While he’s adopted the old name, he hasn’t adopted his old personality, so it’s near impossible to get good points of comparison on this new view. We’ve seen inside his head with this persona, sure, but we can’t compare the way he spoke and acted in his head with how he holds himself in front of Rita--he’s always going to choose his level of vulnerability based off of the least trusted person in the room. He’s not to that place with Rita yet. He’s going to have walls and facades up that he won’t have in front of Juno, or in front of himself. He can’t make it easy on him.

But that does not mean I can’t be suspicious of him, because I am. Fuck you, Nureyev, I’m still coming for you. Mainly, I’m squinting at his reaction to Rita’s plans and his lack of reaction to her openly talking about the two of them in an established relationship. We know damn well that Peter and Juno are not at that place yet. Why, do you ask? Because I trust that Sophie and Kevin wouldn’t take that moment from us. We’ve had three and a half years of slowburn buildup on Jupeter! We would not skip from “tentatively talking and trying to learn communication through ‘’’’’’poetry’’’’’’ and shit” to “established lovey dovey relationship” without being let in on it. I doubt Peter would let comments like the ones Rita made really slide in front of Juno--after all, the last time he admitted he was in love, Juno fucking left, and I bet there’s a lot of reluctance or trauma surrounding that. Yet he let it slide anyway.

Still, because Peter is a wild card, there’s still a possibility that his non-reaction was a defense mechanism or part of the Ransom facade (after all, he had to pretend he was in better standing with Juno than he actually was at first to keep his place in the family). The most suspicious thing he did in that conversation, in my opinion, was agree not to let anyone else know about the plan. He knows damn well that he is on thin ice with everyone in the crew except for Juno and Rita. Trust is in short supply for him and keeping his position in the family is incredibly important to him, both so he can find a way to pay off his debts and so he can pursue this shaky relationship he’s started to piece back together with Juno. Yet he hops right in with barely any pushback when it comes to keeping this Incredibly Vital And Important Plan a complete secret. Plus, you know, he supposedly couldn’t even stand, yet walked all the way to the computer cave. Sure, maybe Juno carried him, but I’d fully expect something like Juno picking him up to be a joke written into the script. I feel like it was deliberately left out.

Still, the only real glimpse of Peter that Dark Matters has ever had was of Rex Glass, and Peter definitely isn’t acting like his Rex persona, so how would they really know to get his personality around the Aurinko family to where it is? I suppose that could be attributed to Rita, Vespa, and/or Buddy shaping the simulation around them.

Tl;dr on the Peter section: He’s almost definitely an NPC but nothing is certain with a man whose entire sense of self is based off of an elaborate web of lies and inconsistencies.

---

Also probably an NPC, but I’m not sure, thus on thin fucking ice: Jet.

You cannot tell me for one fucking second that Jet doesn’t know the Ruby 7 inside and out. That car is his baby. He’s torn the car apart and repaired it more than anyone else, and you’re telling me he doesn’t understand the core functions of the car--the engine, the fuel tank? No fucking way. I don’t have 3.5 paragraphs of speculation for Jet, I’m just so hung up on the fucking car thing. His personality fits well, which is the one string I’m holding onto that makes him maybe possibly an actual human being, but I feel like Dark Matters fucked up by trying to fill in the blanks on the Ruby 7. That’s where I think the issue comes from--the reason there’s a part in the Ruby that Jet doesn’t understand is because DM doesn’t know how the Ruby works, and they tried to put in what they imagined could power it or fuzz over the details. But I will cry if the Ruby was actually destroyed in the crash, there’s no recovering from that.

---

And finally, if you’ve made it this far and not left after whispering to yourself holy shit, she’s insane, she’s absolutely insane, how much does this woman talk, we have the final category: unfortunately an NPC. And holy shit, is Juno 100% not in this simulation or being almost entirely puppeted by Dark Matters.

I genuinely can’t get into all my reasoning behind Juno being a puppet here without going on forever and doubling the length of this post, and I’ve put you through so much already. But every inch of Juno is suspicious, down to his tone of voice. Look, I’m happy to see him happy. But it just seems like a jump--just like as I discussed in the Peter section with the Jupeter relationship. It feels like we skipped something, or missed something. This is my theory: Juno has been crafted based off of how Sasha Wire knew him when she saw him last. He doesn’t have reactions that are quite right to the computers, to Peter, to anyone, really. Everything felt just a little off--until he got frustrated. Then he became more realistically Juno. I think this might be because Sasha is basing a comfortable and happy Juno (the one she assumes he must be around the people on the ship, especially Peter if she knows they’re romantically involved) off of the Juno she interacted with when they were younger, which is just off in comparison to the Juno we know now. She can build a more three dimensional Juno in the situations she’s familiar with, like a bored Juno, a frustrated Juno, or an angry Juno. She’s got the one-liners down, I’ll give her that.

I’m also just in general not surprised if Sasha is just keeping him separate from the rest of them. Possibly to try and talk him out of the family, get him untangled from the Dark Matters mess? Plus, he’s incredibly perceptive, and might be considered a risk to the simulation if he was in it. 

Also, the out-of-universe evidence: I am 100% convinced that the reason the episode script came out late is because it had to be edited to remove some of the directions, possibly suspicious things like “too cheery”. Specifically, I think one of Juno’s significant directions is missing. It’s hard to put exactly what kind of direction is missing into words because I don’t know anything about script writing, but I just... I have a feeling. Trust me on this. I’ve seen other people on Twitter talk about it too, I’m not the only one. I stand by it.

---

Anyway, since I want to keep my Juno-specific speculation as short as possible, that’s all, folks. If you stayed this long, genuinely I love you so much and I would give my life for you, message me or mention it in the tags that you made it all the way and maybe we could be mutuals or friends!! I love to ramble about this kind of thing. Follow me for more aimless speculation, hopefully not 2.5k words next time. If you have any questions or other stuff to discuss also mention it and I might post about it later!

Update: If you’re interested in the simulation theory, here’s the link to a post I just made laying out all my conspiracy theory evidence for it.

#holy shit i am SO SORRY this is so long #this is a lesson in being careful what you wish for #tpp #the penumbra podcast #tpp spoilers #tpp s3 #tpp s3 spoilers #s3 spoilers #tpp junoverse #simulation theory

[words-writ-in-starlight]

the untamed is on netflix, right? i think i've seen it. i'm enjoying your posts about it and my mom would love if i watched a chinese show (it looks chinese, i might be wrong though) but i'm kinda short on time so please pitch to me why i should watch it so i will be convinced and look past the lack fo time

Anonymous asked:

ok the untamed looks cool af how doesone watch it 

A L L R I G H T I’m finally going to make a rec post, I’ve put this off long enough.  You’ve definitely already started to watch it, clever, so please forgive me for using this as an excuse to pitch this show.

So, for starters, Anon, The Untamed is indeed on Netflix!  It is in Chinese!  If you (like me) do not understand Mandarin Chinese, the Netflix English subbing is…fine, it’s fine, but I recommend poking around in the fandom because every single form of address is changed to the character’s full name.  And maybe I just spent too much time doing translations for my old Spanish and Chinese and especially Latin classes, but I think there are some things that, A, shouldn’t be translated or, B, should be translated awkwardly over being translated incoherently.  

I digress.  My thoughts about maintaining forms of address in their native language for the sake of clarifying levels of respect/etc are not relevant here.  Chuck a note in my inbox if/when you get confused about everyone’s three names and I’ll write/link you a guide.

POINT IS.  The Untamed is an adaptation of the novel Mo Dao Zu Shi, which is generally translated as “The Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation,” and my quick pitch for it is: There’s a plot, sure sure, it’s the story of Wei Wuxian (his fall from grace to Most Hated Person In Magic!China, and then his resurrection and efforts to solve a murder), and if you like character-driven fantasy narratives you Will Like This

B U T

You know that post “but is he…you know…your narrative foil?”  That’s this show.  If what you crave is “one character committedly pines over another for twenty years even when the entire world hates that person,” please let me interest you in Lan Wangji, the love interest.  They have a kid together.  It’s a great romance.  Literally what else do you want from me.  I love a narrative foil, I love a tragedy, I love an epic love story, I love a found family.  And good GOD do I love a character who self-destructs in an effort to do the right thing.

Wei Wuxian isn’t evil.  He’s not even especially malicious.  But when the chips were down and he needed to survive, and to save people, and to figure something out, he took the only avenue left to him, and it was—it was inevitable, really, that it make him the villain of the piece.  He saved a lot of lives.  Everyone except Lan Wangji hates him for it.  He’s already thoroughly despised by the time he starts actually doing things that are objectively bad.  Talk to me about it forever.

My usual list of free-form associative Things I Like That You Will Probably Also Like under the cut:

Wei Wuxian!  I know he’s the main character but I love him so much that he gets a bullet point!  He’s the kind of lighthearted goofball who’s perfected the “I Would Honestly Die Before Showing Emotion To Anyone, How Dare You Imply That I Am Not Sincere In My Perpetual Good Humor” mask, and it hits like a sledgehammer when that mask cracks.  I would watch this actor flip between smiles and homicidal rage all day.  He gets a hug from Son Boy in the last episode and I almost cried.  50000/10.

Lan Wangji!  A great love interest!  Noble to the core!  Incredibly bitchy!  I want five more just like him!

This is where I mention that China has strict censorship laws, so, despite the fact that they kiss and have sex and get married and the whole nine in the book, the show is all Intense Staring And Love Declarations Where They Never Say The L-Word.  But like.  Please trust me, it’s actually So Romance.  If anything I think I like the  romance in the show better.

Wen Ning!

I don’t have anything else to say about him, I just love him so goddamn much.  He and his sister Wen Qing are stars and the rest of these sinners don’t deserve them.

COMPETENT. VILLAINS.  I’ve spilled a lot of ink on this one lately, but I love competent villainy, I love villains who have Goals and plan to Achieve Them and actually pull it off.  Jin Guangyao, the big bad of the “present”(the part where Wei Wuxian is resurrected and kicking around trying to solve a murder), is actually phenomenally good at his job and I support him even though I enjoyed watching him go down in flames.  There are enough villains in this show for everyone to have their preferred type of villain, from Devoted Right Hand Man to Megalomaniacal Overlord to Freewheeling Engine Of Death.  GREAT villains in this show.  Which brings me to…

YI! CITY! ARC!  I’m not going to tell you that much about it, but it’s dark and tragic and features my very favorite villain in the entire show, Xue Yang, who is just.  *chef kiss*  A horrible monster of a man.  An unapologetic, cold-eyed shriek of a villain.  The very best at what he does, and what he does is absolutely horrible, and I would watch an entire series about this five-ish episode arc.  Also, I’ve adopted Song Lan/Xiao Xingchen from the Tragic Ships Shelter and someone should toss me a headcanon ask for them.  Any AU your little heart desires.  I love them.

THE MAGIC!  I know it took me a long time to get here, but it’s a very character driven show and I am a very character driven person and I just wanted to yell about characters for a minute.  But anyway, I’m told that the Untamed is a great onboarding point for this genre of Chinese fantasy novel, because they do a really good job of making the necessary points accessible.  I had no familiarity with wuxia/xianxia/etc when I started watching this and everything about cultivation made sense to me, or at least enough sense to be going on with.  It’s very lovely and fascinating and it’s where they put their Entire Non-Clothing Budget.

This is where I mention that their effects department clearly used their entire funding for, like, cool sword stunts and beautiful clothing.  The wolf puppet in particular is just.  Almost adorably terrible.  If that’s going to severely impact your enjoyment, Idk what to tell you, man.

Related to the above, I love plotlines about characters losing control of their magic.  That’s all I’m going to say about it.

Unreliable narrators, baby! They set up a lot of concrete facts about Wei Wuxian in the first two episodes that become obvious as complete bullshit as you go on, and it’s very satisfying to watch!  See also, Nie Huaisang, the most unreliable narrator of them all, whom I adore.

Beyond all those things…it’s just got a lot of great relationships in it.  It’s hugely driven by the affection people have for each other, or the places they feel they’vebeen deprived of that affection.  It has a lot of iterations of the same relationship in wildly distinct ways, if that makes sense—offhand, there are maybe four major sets of siblings, five if you count the Jins, and they are all radically different and insanely compelling.  The basic structure of Wei Wuxian/Lan Wangji, the “black cultivator/white cultivator on a crusade to change the world” thing, appears a lot of times, and goes horribly awry in a slightly different way for all of them.  That kind of in-universe repetition of themes, doing the same thing over and over again looking for the Right Path, is one of my favorite things to appear in a story—see also, the Kencyrath (twins, Dreamweavers, Knorth lords, loyal Kendar, etc), the Animorphs (warrior teams, deaths on the field, etc), any number of other things I yell about.

TL;DR: The story is great and the cultivation is fascinatingand the schemes are elaborate, but

#the untamed #mdzs #mo dao zu shi #SORRY CLEVER YOU'VE DEFINITELY ALREADY STARTED IT I THINK I JUST ANSWERED ANOTHER ASK FROM YOU #I GOT DISTRACTED HALFWAY THROUGH THIS POST AND FORGOT ABOUT IT FOR SIX DAYS #i cannot be trusted i am sorry #but yeah anyway #show rec #here's the post that i'm going to link people to if they're looking to know why I Personally am into this show #'what's the plot star' WWX WAS AN ADMIRED HERO. THEN HE WAS THE MOST HATED MAN ALIVE. THEN HE DIED. #NOW HE'S BACK AND HE HAS MORE PROBLEMS. #THAT'S THE PLOT #WHO CARES ABOUT THE PLOT I CARE ABOUT THE ANGST #that's not true i also care about the plot #but like. if i'm recommending you the show you'd best believe it's because of the above reasons. #a queue we will keep and our honor someday avenge #insert-cleverurl #asked and answered

[thecrenellations]

Thick as Thieves Undead-Blog, Part Two | when your liveblog wakes up to drink some broth then goes back to sleep smiling because it trusts you | my notes from reading the book for the first time, Spring 2017

Format: Page number. My ridiculous thoughts (Context???)

Part One

Chapters 6-13:

Ch. 6 - Very intense chapter in which Kamet and Costis are captured by the slavers and escape

163. Costis <3 Muscles Good looking! (wow what a way to start this post)

one hot piece of attolian manflesh ... confirmed (people would call him this on LJ! I forgot about it for several years until reading this passage)

164. omg earring swallowed!

166. amanuensis? (perennial thanks to mwt for all the vocab words)

168. shit. severed hand.

172. wtf Costis don’t kill him

173. how do you silently kill someone like that?

174. wow fuck

men dead not even breathing hard. (compare to KoA assassination)

Everyone is a monster!

176. Thieves.

Ch. 7 - Lots of good conversation, potentially symbolic animals, and a surprise Eugenides

183. Grt scene (apologies)

184. now who’s asking rude questions? (about killing people)

186. lying to him <3

ok! unreliable narrator!

wait i thought they didn’t have slaves in Attolia?!

187. “I was unappreciated” ... I’m always lonely

so cute

188. me when mwt writes: what is this blatant unabashed fanservice?

WHO IS THIS BOY?!

189. Onarkus =/= Sandy?

190. okaaay #confirmed Gen!

191. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Boots

195. he caught a snake (associated with a certain king and assumed bootboy “you viper” “you are a poisonous little snake” ... another ominous dead animal)

Is Costis’s earring for Eugenides (I was thinking of the god!)

196. a goat and a snake .... how poetic

Costis stalks goat ...

197. hmmm.... goat and hand and last trace of Nahuseresh (OMINOUS)

does Irene know her husband was a bootboy?

203. no this what? (“trouble with a maid” story exchange)

Marin?

204. he was prepared to run away??

how old was he?

well this is a lot to chew on

205. K using past tense for N

C asking about slaves killed after emperor’s death... does he know?

Ch. 8 - This road trip was going great until SOMEONE fell in a well

208. Are Taymets taller than Eddisian mountains?

210. time passing, broad and focused

212. MY Attolian

classic minor mwt characters

215. singing Costis???

216. swearing gimme a break

please don’t let the Namreen kill them later...

217. Kamet says very little of what HE did/his interactions w them!

218. wot nice cut! (“Eleven days later...”)

gods?

219. “water finds a way” a saying from Eddis? how does C know that? also brings to mind QoA weather passages

Why doesn’t Kamet ask/wonder WHY Gen wants him?

223. They’re gonna do it? They’re gonna make it? So close!

224. does Eddis have comparable irrigation engineering?

227. NO!

228. u idiot you meant to leave him before!!!

at least look in the freaking well!!!

229. Kamet’s Face! wow he’s really in shock (at weapons shop)

230. SUCH FAMILIAR PHRASING! birds :( (I was caught up in the birds and completely missed the spilled wine!)

Ch. 9 - Retrieving Costis from the well, Ennikar appears again

231. “You’re certain he’s dead?” nice CUT

this time i heard him say?

was he talking?

232. thoughtfully tensing his lower lip?

who tf is this guy - another god?

mm grr I’m Kamet I have no friends

ok so he’s what’s his face Enkidu?

heroes walk the streets

234. AAH why

say his fricking name?!

god you’re so bad @ this

236. THIEF

237. FRIEND OMG

238. omg so good flour!

SO CUTE I WOULD LOVE TO SEE THIS

239. OMG Costis. Nice. (Costis tries the Gen method of deflecting concern)

241. “as if we were close friends traveling together???”

242. Costis ... knows a hero when he sees one?

But ... delighted? not horrified?

Ch. 10 - Hanging out with Godekker

247. SO MANY HELPFUL STRONG MEN (Enter Godekker)

249. PAY THE FASTENER

253. god so snarky

254. Kamet’s chops

fuck how is this book going to end???

256. You’ll never feel safe ... Gen + Relius’s fears?

258. Fuh!

259. Ok do i have hope?

he doesn’t have Tethys lesions does he?

263. aahhhh

Costis trusts him!!!! <3

aaahhh

264. Noli? where did he get that from?

smarrrt

265. yeah u did tell Godekker your name!

wtf is this god advice!

268. The So, so, so count in this book is OUT OF CONTROL!!! It may be a record.

Ch. 11 - Kamet’s stressful voyage

270. Lol Sophos is better @ assuming Attolian ships are there...

272. yesssss earring GOOD

274. yeah sure Kamet you still haven’t left!

I did not want to leave the Attolian!

276. watching Costis

277. my heart’s gonna break don’t leave, Kamet!

278. “as if the gods had cursed my wandering feet” nice. also iambic pentameter

also laying it on a bit thick there

280. Sea in the Middle of the World!

he’s so scared though. :(

the fuckin nerve!

Costis + Gen and their s3cr3t sign

281. nooooo it’s ok to lie, it’s endearing in this world!

also Costis seriously why do you think he would be ok w/ this!

I’m coming home! (to Attolia. In cursive, see image at top of post.)

282. war?

Ch. 12 - Dramatic times in Attolia

284. “I thought we were I + E” :o

shit where is his honor now (”I would have let you go”)

285. hey there Teleus...

my heart

285. yeah but C probs knows all those guards ... he thought punching Gen was the most embarrassed he’d been... (in retrospect, I don’t think he was embarrassed AT ALL during this scene. Costis fight mode was activated.)

yeah I mean she has given us the Magus all this time! (reflecting on the fact that Costis’s name has yet to appear)

286. Yesss angry Costis poking Teleus!

This is Something to imagine

287. THIS IS REALLY BAD (”the queen”)

OK...

holy shit

when is this???

she’s not THAT old!

288. THE room? (“filled with all the horrors I had fled in Ianna-Ir”)

289. 298 pages until this! (“Costis”)

289. Please stay alive Irene!

On some level I do feel that my childhood is ruined w the confirmation they banged. :( Gen is like 20! (Listen. I love them. I'm very happy for them. This is not exactly breaking news. 20-year-olds, and this one in particular, can obviously do anything they want. This note brought to you by me being Too Ace For This and having been both younger and older than him since first reading the books a very long time ago...)

292. Gggennn

293. Is this court respect a recent development? WHAT DID I MISS? (they watched him fight the entire guard, is what, c’mon me. Costis hit him on the head with an amphora.)

yeah we get it people underestimate Eugenides

OH MY COSTIS

294. is this Annux by any chance?

Boys ur making a scene!

King of Attolia vs of Attolians?

295. very ... dramatic

this is ... a private convo?

297. yup he’s Eddis’s best stalker!

Ch. 13 - Everything else that happens in this book!

298. “Do they know?” yeah wtf Gen

it’s like the new “and every1 was naked” (in KoA)

“and every1 was watching”

300. Gen: Yo Helen can u bring me that one coin?

Helen: sure. no prob

301. “Poor Costis”

yeah Melheret always sneaks up

302. “You’ve come from the prisons, not how an honored guest is usually received” UM ACTUALLY...

305. Kamet.... (crying in his room)

306. “the kind of Attolia sitting on the footboard” oh my god yeah classic

307. Irene comes thru with the stats

Was Kamet at the battle at Ephrata?

310. talk with the kitchen staff good god i would like to know. So bizarre.

lol toting around an ambassador all nite? What would Teleus say?

while Irene’s sick ...

WTF will Costis do now?

312. names ... Kamet ... Ormentiedes? 

Creeeeeeeeepy Relius (probably about “there are some questions you might answer for us” but possibly about the cutting up and feeding to wolves comment)

314. business arrangement uh sure

Yeah ok write it all down

316. talking to Costis?

(a note: the version I read was an advance reader copy, and the only major difference was that it did NOT include the scene with “the young Erondites”)

318. Attolia smiled at him!

anything worth doing is worth overdoing lol

319. alternate readings of poem?

322. orange trees!

cabbages!

324. sent Onarkus away RECENTLY???

Is Brinna Sandy!

Seriously. 

Cooks r weird (thinking about the entry for cooks in the Tough Guide to Fantasyland)

326. the magus!

an ACHING void

oh I know I’ll just GO!

poor Gen can’t have any friends...

331. they have duffles in Attolia

and with Attolian duffles, the story ends! Thanks for reading, feedback is welcome. I promise I have more developed thoughts about this book. For another weird journey, listen to my Thick as Thieves playlist, maybe.

#this half is truly a mess. #queen's thief #thick as thieves #mwt #something i

[daylightlucidity]

Hmmmmm... Zhan Tiri?

What I love about them: okay, there’s a lot, but i’ll try to be brief. for one thing, i absolutely love the zhan tiri lore in the show. it’s super open-ended and full of such interesting pieces, and it’s fun to kind of sort through all of it and develop different theories and stories. i also love how ziti was depicted as this eldritch god figure through the legends shared the first two seasons, only for the show to subvert expectations and introduce ziti as the enchanted girl. i spend so much time thinking about reconciling what we see of zhan tiri in season 3 with the rest of the established lore, and it’s really fun to think about

i also just love baby gremlin ziti, and how her demeanor changes over season 3 from a sweet, composed, somewhat-innocent looking little girl when she’s trying to win over cassandra’s trust, to becoming downright feral by the time cassandra’s revenge comes around. she’s just so petty and dramatic, and she’s such a fun villain to watch

(i also can’t talk about zhan tiri and not mention destinies fulfilled; that entire fic was motivated 100% by my desire to see ziti’s character more fleshed out and to explore more of her dynamic of cassandra in early season 3, and how that dynamic changes over time with that extra depth to her character. this story is what i wanted their dynamic in canon to be sO BADLY)

tl;dr: I Just Think She’s Neat

What I hate about them: i did not enjoy her final demon form in the end of PEEV; the design was such a let down, after all of the build up through the entire show.

i am also forever upset that we didn’t get more depth to her character in canon, beyond the the snippets of established lore and handful of interactions we see with her and cassandra. i really wanted her motivation to be more nuanced and have more depth than just “i want the drops because Power, and i want to destroy corona because Demanitus”. it’s frustrating because all of the pieces were there to make her such a compelling villain and they just...didn’t do anything with it

and i remember reading a thing or two about how the writers shied away from giving zhan tiri any depth / clear motivations because they were afraid it would take away from the cassandra & rapunzel storyline that was at the center of the show, and i could see how it would, but still. it would have been fun to see some more depth

Favorite Moment/Quote:

she has so many great lines accompanied by even greater facial expressions, but i think what takes the cake for me is:

“Oh Cassandra; so predictable. Have you learned nothing from me? No matter how formidable an obstacle, everything has its weakness. And I have a gift for finding it.” *twirls with acid and falls through floor*

honorary mention; every scene involving ziti and her boomerang. you have no idea how much i love the fact that the weapon of choice of an ancient, powerful demon is a fucking boomerang dfghgfds, it Kills Me

What I would like to see more focus on: i want to see more stuff focused on her character, and on her background!! zhan tiri is such a central part of the lore on this show, and i’m continually upset that there isn’t more content trying to unpack all of it / more content treating her as a real, fleshed out character instead of just a cardboard cutout villain. i want to see ziti interacting with the disciples! i want to know more about her history with the great tree! and given that canon established that demanitus is an unreliable narrator (re: omitting the fact that he partnered with ziti for this quest), what was the actual story there?? how much truth is there to the legends?? there’s a lot to unpack, and i want to know!!

What I would like to see less focus on: please, i’m begging, less focus on ziti used solely as an angst generator/cardboard cutout villain. she can still be evil and have characterization that’s more than a teaspoon deep

Favorite pairing with: okay. so i know that the common answer is ziti/demanitus but...my thoughts on whether or not this pairing works is based completely on how it’s handled. i hate this pairing when it’s used to drive a “woman scorned” narrative for ziti, but i can kind of jam with the idea of ziti and demanitus kind of recognizing each other as Equals while in pursuit of the drops, then kind of falling in love with the idea of the other but not quite pursuing a relationship, before it all goes to hell and they become bitter enemies. i think if handled right, there’s some interesting stories that could be told with that pairing

also writing destinies fulfilled put the idea of cass/ziti into my head and now it won’t leave

Favorite friendship: cassandra! (re: destinies fulfilled). i wanted their “friendship” in canon to be genuine so badly D:

NOTP: i recently learned about momtiri, and i super do not like the idea of zhan tiri/quirin. the idea of that pairing made my head spin just a little bit.

Favorite headcanon: oh god, i have so many headcanons for her that i forget what’s canon and what isn’t tbh

my favorite headcanon is that zhan tiri never says anything that’s false. sure, she is INSANELY manipulative, and she’s big on withholding information/lying by omission/twisting her words around, but she never says anything that is untrue 

#omg this was a lot longer than i thought #thanks so much for asking!! :D #asks #empkinilly #zhan tiri

[inknose]

mdzs read diary part IV, the end

It’s inspiring how much self care wwx is gonna finally get now that his husband will go along with whatever he does, so he’s gotta look out for lwj’s well being if not his own. that is emphatically the STUFF

dragging my hands down I face as I read this, after all these chapters of getting up close and personal with ghouls bleeding from every orifice, slaying ancient beasts, rebelling against the entire cultivation world, the two of them are absolutely paralyzed by middle school crush sleepover math

chicken

he actually drew kissy doodles .... he....

IDK I THINK I JUST DOCUMENTED THIS PART CUZ I WAS STILL SCREAMING you cant expect me to have very useful things to say at this point

this is torture you are both so mushy you are so GONE

This part really stood out to me, it’s an attitude I feel like wwx implies with his inner narration a few times but most clearly says here: he’s not one for allowing himself to exaggerate how bad his circumstances are/could be even a little bit - he’s already lived through some extreme low points and found a way to keep going, so he never makes sweeping statements about what he couldn’t live without (Inner JingYi: you’re supposed to say you’d be lost without him here!!!) Instead he seems to accept as a given that being alive doesn’t guarantee him any pleasantness or joy at all, and as a result his feelings toward being in TRUE LOVE are surprisingly pragmatic, but also colored with such gratitude. There are a lot of things in the novel that struck me, like this, as being just a little to the left of familiar tropes/sentiments, and were more touching for it. Whether it be the influence of culture difference as opposed to what I’m used to reading in most western romance stories, or MXTX’s unique outlook, or a combination of both, it was really refreshing and made me pause over it. Not “I can’t imagine living without you” but “I could be living without you, but instead I get to be with you and I think that’s the best thing that could happen.”

ADJFDKFJ THE UST BEING SO STRONG THAT EVEN THE VILLAIN COMMENTS ON IT IN THE MIDDLE OF EXECUTING HIS EVIL PLANS IS ONE OF THOSE THINGS THAT WILL NEVER FAIL TO MAKE ME LAUGH MY ASS OFF. hes like god damn! here I thought I had problems

it was at this moment that I realized we were doing this Now... I’m still recovering. What a scene. I am so glad I saw the most incredible fanart soon afterwards, bc the fact that someone has already drawn a perfect comic of this part means I don’t have to

I love you so much, you are so annoying, you are perfect... I like how he’s been experiencing openly requited love for all of ten minutes but he’s already figured out how to weaponize it to piss people off

doing!!! his!!! job!!!!!

ahh... it’s a really good story. JGY is a great character. One of the most interesting differences for me between drama watching vs. novel reading experience is that without an actor to bat his vulnerable doe eyes at you and smile faintly with his cute dimples, the book does not go much out of its way to try to lull the reader into a false sense of security around him or *endear* him to you the way the show does. But just by seeing events through wei wuxian’s POV, its still enough to evoke pity or understanding towards him. The overall impression is a bit more detached though, there’s less emphasis on the spectacle of how he could manipulate everyone closest to him and more of a general feeling of resigned tragedy that everyones the worst on this bitch of an earth.

I CANNOT DEAL WITH YOU FOR EVEN ONE MORE SECOND!!!!

I clearly paused to take note of less and less parts at the end & the extras due to: a) too excited to reach the end b) too spicy to photograph and c) too sleepy cuz I kept reading in the middle of the night. but I absolutely took the time for Bro We Are Teens appreciation corner:

I’d absolutely read 40 more extra chapters of their monster-of-the-week field trip antics.

god... poor Jin Ling now basically has to deal with divorced parents that talk shit about each other to him whenever he is saying with one of them. except they are both his uncles. just a disasterhood of all uncles from start to finish. AUUUGH wei wuxian and jiang cheng have fucked me up completely, I dream of them reconciling but I also REFUSE to believe it would ever be easy. let me know if theres a fanfic that absolutely tortures you for decades before they hug

HAHAHA oh no this man ain’t making it to immortality thats for damn sure. HE’S JUST GONNA TRY AS HARD AS HE CAN HIS WHOLE LIFE NOT TO LOOK AT HIM BUT THEYRE *MARRIED* SDLKFJSF ohhhh it’s too funny, like... the mundane domestic family drama IN the fantastical swords and sorcery setting is what really ratchets up these things from amusing to fucking hilarious I think

aaaa the end... final random thoughts? No not final, I would like to please keep discussing at length and exhaustively, all the time please - CQL has gotta be one of the best TV adaptations I’ve seen. ANY adaptation of anything would be lucky to be so good!! reading the novel has just made me appreciate it even more.

- I don’t think I can do justice to what I find most fascinating about comparing the two versions briefly, to do that I need to get drunk and ramble at my friends for hours but... the condensed version is something like this. Really all the significant differences between the two versions (besides the ones which can be attributed to censorship and therefore aren’t worth discussing) are a side effect of the structure of how the story is told - there’s barely anything changed arbitrarily. Aside from having a cold opening, the drama sticks to a very linear version of the story, and I think for a TV show or film, that’s probably the best way to do it. We see everything, we get shocked and tricked and betrayed and surprised along with the characters, we feel the biggest impact at the climactic scenes having experienced all the build-up. The novel on the other hand is not only much more non-linear in WHEN we learn bits and pieces of information, but that information is also obfuscated under wei wuxian’s multiple layers of Unreliable Narratoritis, which are as follows: 1) difficulty remembering things because of personality/avoiding painful memories/actual memory loss, 2) No Homo Goggles still on, and 3) a wry sense of humor that makes the reader unsure of how much they can trust his attitude toward things, especially near the beginning. The experience of reading is a puzzle the reader has to mentally piece together through all of the above listed camouflage, and the puzzle itself is a three-sided mystery: One - How Bad of a guy was Wei WuXian really, and how exactly did all the bad stuff in his life go down; Two - wangxian epic pride & prejudice gambits; Three - political murder mystery. (I love stories like this btw... though I fully admit I’m glad I watched first this time bc it might have taken me a long time to tackle otherwise.) Because of this, where the drama wants to pull you in and submerge you in all the most potent emotional parts, the novel in direct contrast deliberately side-steps around these things and asks that you hurt yourself by filling in the blanks. In fact the more intense emotions and painful memories involved, whether it be his relationship with jiang yanli, his DEATH, the darkest days of war times etc, the more the novel evasively withholds details. I actually really like both styles of storytelling but each one is obviously way better suited to its medium. ANYWAY.... THATS BASICALLY WHERE MY BRAINS AT WHILE IM READING GAY SWORD WIZARD BOOKS

- The extras are so saturated with domestic married bliss that it’s a good thing I stopped taking pictures because I’d just take a picture of every page. this is too much for me to take... I did jump the gun a few times and read a few fanfics while I was still mid-read of the book (I tried to hold out but alas I am mortal) and at one point after finishing I was like “wow what fic was it in where lwj says something cute and wwx kisses him in public but they’re in the corner of the restaurant so no one really sees... OH NO WAIT that was actually in there.” and ... and that’s the LEAST OF IT... *stares into the distance* theyre married wow

- I ofc couldn’t help but see a few vague blogs beforehand so honestly I was braced for something like, wildly ooc for the sake of porn to happen in the extras... I definitely appreciate how the incense burner porn interludes could be uhhh a lot for many people and not my personal cup of tea in terms of smut however [here follows the words of a poisonous frog who has dwelt her whole life in the rainforests of BL] the concept is also surprisingly SWEET SDFLKJF like wwx sees lan wangji’s darkest mixed-up violent teenage fantasies and he’s just like aww babe you had a crush on me!! just... good for them

- I swear I’m not gonna rehash every cute married thing they do but wei wuxian grading papers in the tub........................rEALLY GOT ME

- I want to Draw - ok thats enough if I keep going I’ll just write “wei wuxian grading papers in the tub” seven more times probably

#mdzs readthru #this obviously has many spoilers

[dullahandyke]

Kick it up a Notch

Summary: Sure, Deceit might have won the case, but Roman’s ruling on the punishment wouldn’t do... if he was going to convince Thomas to do the right thing, he’ll really need to kick it up a notch with his persuasion tactics... luckily, catchy tunes solve all sorts of problems.

Trigger Warnings: Deceit (he isn’t entirely sympathetic because he delights in his own bastardry, but also he isn’t abusive, and i like to call this version of Dee ‘asshole with a point’), there’s a lotta manipulation and Dee invades Thomas’ personal space a lot. Also there is One use of the f word but other than that, there isn’t any swearing.

AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18884050

Notes: Deceit is a very, very, very unreliable narrator, his thoughts influencing the narration and he holds a hell of a grudge against Patton so there’s some Patton hate from Dee. Also, I do not own the original Kick it up a Notch song, it is entirely Team Starkid’s and this is just a parody. Here’s a link to the song in case you haven’t heard it, it’s pretty fundamental to the story: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aJ6d1uTVG64

“I hereby sentence you-”

“That’s not really necessary, I think now you see that all of this is-”

“-To one day at the St. Clifford’s Chapel on the day of Lee and Mary Lee’s wedding.”

Deceit hissed lowly, his face knotted with frustration and his eyes narrowed in the judge’s direction. “You can’t do that! That’s not how this works!” Roman furrowed his eyebrows, pointing his gavel rather dramatically at the liar. “Too bad, The Lie Who Didn’t Like Musicals, going to the wedding is what’s right.”, and his voice held all of the conviction of someone who’d stood in front of a mirror practicing for hours.

“Ah, back to the nicknames, are we, Your Honour?” The sickly-sweet words dripping off of his own tongue felt like poison in a way that almost made him pity Roman. Almost. The inferno in the pit of his stomach was still burning, bright and true. It fed on justice, and god was it hungry. “So I suppose cold, hard facts aren’t enough to sway you, then?” He arched an eyebrow at the far-away Logan, daring him to speak up before he was spoken over, but just as he saw the logical side open his mouth and lean forward to object and make himself heard, Deceit made sure that he cut him off before he could begin.

“Wait… maybe there’s something I could…” He shoved as much fake-realisation into his voice as he thought was realistic. Really, he had pushed this scenario to the back of his mind, hoping to convince Roman with the whole courtroom gesture, but at least the song he had written wouldn’t go to waste. He did love a bit of theatricality, even if the melody… wasn’t the most original. He snapped his fingers deftly and looked up to Roman. He smirked devilishly, turning the flirt on full-blast. “What do you say we go somewhere a bit more… familiar, ay Roman?”

Even though he was sure Patton and Virgil were protesting somehow, Deceit’s sole focus was on Roman. At his words, Roman looked up, curious, with a certain twinkle in his eye that Deceit wasn’t able to identify. And really, that was all the confirmation he needed to clap his hands and bring them to someplace surely familiar, even to the viewers.

Seconds later, the sides popped into the new environment, each taking their respective places. Patton, in the audience, not sure of what was happening but not liking it either way. Virgil, backstage, in a black turtleneck and the hallmark exhaustion of a techie. Logan, finally a bit more to the forefront now, sitting in front of a book on the history of musical theatre. And finally, Thomas and Roman, standing in the front of the stage, Roman a bit too far to the left to be considered centre-stage, but Thomas caught in the attention.

Finally, Deceit stepped forward from the back of the stage, emerging from a mustard-coloured curtain, taking the time to take in the scene around them, smiling at how everything was in its places. He cleared his throat, drawing all attention to him, and he grinned amicably, making sure the grin was just false enough that the sides knew who they were dealing with. He was not someone you could smile into submission, and they needed to know that if Patton was the one they were letting have the most influence. He opened his mouth to speak, and put on the customer-service voice that he knew Roman would have killed to have been able to do; he always went a bit too far in these things, and all of that bravado he hid behind was proof of that. Really, did he think he was fooling anyone?

“Thomas and those who are not Thomas, I welcome you to a… not quite evening, of entertainment. Please turn off your mobile phones, and may I remind you that no flash photography is allowed. I would tell you to take note of your closest fire exits, but there are none. Wait until intermission before bailing, please, as to do otherwise would be terribly rude. Please, enjoy the show-“

All of a sudden, his suave and debonair voice was interrupted by Virgil, and honestly, could he not, please? However, despite Deceit’s wishes, he did, indeed, speak in his meagre voice. “Yeah, no, I’m not buying it. We’ve reached our conclusion, why do we have to keep-” As Virgil’s outburst continued, Deceit sighed. Really, he had hoped he could just arrive, do his song, convince Thomas and then go back to his room to hug his giant plush snake and let his small, real snake crawl all over his face like the little cutie she was. Instead, it looked like he’d need to expend even more of his energy on this whole plan, just to get Thomas to do what was right for him! God, he had really underestimated how easy it was to be Patton; he was a formidable opponent, if only because of how much everyone else blindly trusted him.

As he zoned back in on the edgy side’s monologue, he lifted his hand swiftly in a familiar motion, Virgil’s once frantically gesticulating hand now slapped over his struggling mouth. Deceit focused back onto the performance. “Now, where were we?” He motioned towards the pit, waiting for his previously-set music to be played, but apparently, even in the mindspace, Alexa decided that it was too good for Deceit to look cool via motion controls, so it decided to be difficult. He huffed to himself, before leaning forward and shoving his face directly into the pit. “Alexa, play Kick It up a Notch instrumental.” The robot in question made a little beeping noise, and the recorded voice of Deceit counting himself in started playing.

The man in question took big strides until he was stood back next to Thomas, walking in time to the voice counting him in, because if you were to sing a show-stoppin’ number, you have to go all out. That’s just common knowledge. As the voice reached ‘one’, he opened his mouth, donning his best silky smooth singing voice, secure in the knowledge that his snake had loved this song.

“Commitments to events! Are they worth all their expense? To miss such a big opportunity!” As he waxed poetic about why friends were overrated, he kept a keen eye on his fellow sides. Well, the other sides were reacting in some way, but Roman… Roman was looking at him with the kind of sceptical curiosity that could really only come from seeing a snake man that you hate but fundamentally agree with performing a musical number tailor made to your interests. He smirked; he could easily win Roman over if he played to his interests. After all, if Roman got riled up enough about something, nothing could stop him. He was Deceit’s key to success, and he knew all of his weaknesses.

“Go to your new arrangements! Forget about those past engagements! Instead, take this lifetime chance to be, ooooon theeeee biiiiig screeeeeeeeeeeeeeen!” As a rogue piano note made itself known, he broke into an easy grin. He could see the cogs turning in Thomas’ head, but they were still bogged down by Patton’s ideology. He sneaked a look over at the side in question; there he was, sat trapped through Deceit’s effort. Good, that was working; Virgil was having a particularly hard time leaving his corner, after all, no matter how hard he tried.

However, no matter whether or not he could move, there was no mistaking his disbelieving face. No doubt he was trying to come up with a way to intervene, but of course, it would be very rude to interrupt a live performance, and so he kept his manipulative mouth shut. Deceit smirked smugly, allowing himself to bask in the joy of everyone’s eyes on him, watching and waiting for his next move. They were finally paying attention, and that was all that mattered.

“Hmm… What do you say you answer the call-back, Thomas?” Deceit arched one of his eyebrows as Thomas furrowed his. “But, we’ve already been through-” And oh, of course, they’d already talked it through once, so what could returning to the topic possibly do for them? Maybe it could, I don’t know, help them reach the correct conclusion now that Patton was out of the equation? But that was just a suggestion, of course, as whatever came out of Deceit’s mouth couldn’t possibly be the right answer, no, that was just preposterous.

“Now listen to me, my confused friend.” He grinned like a particularly friendly shark. “We are friends, after all!” He moved uncomfortably close to Thomas, pulling him into a one-armed hug and booping his nose with a gloved hand, pushing it harshly enough to make it just slightly painful. “I know you have your share of doubts and fears, but this is your chance! You can take charge! Push the limits!” He unconsciously pulled Thomas closer to him, caught up in the idea of Thomas grasping his future with both hands instead lending one to someone else’s.

“You gotta be determined. Persevere! To coin a phrase, act the part!” Deceit chuckled at what he thought was some very humorous wordplay, and he pushed himself away from Thomas, placing his gloved hands on his host’s shoulders and pulling him across from him, facing him head-on, and in that moment, it seemed that he had become a bit taller. Well, about time. He had always seemed to be shorter than the other sides, and it didn’t do anything to help intimidate them.

He looked out into the audience, drinking in Patton’s panicked expression at Thomas’ resolute feelings melting into uncertainty. Good. He needed a bit of competition. He turned back to Thomas, resolve hardening as the backing track picked up speed. Now, it was time for the real show to begin! The preface was over, and now it was time for a song they’d be sure to remember! Well, they’d better. He’d spent a while manipulating multiple songs he’d heard Roman singing recently, and it had taken him and his snake ages to narrow it down to the right choice.

“You’d better kick it up a notch, if you’re ever gonna reach your goal.” He tore his hands from Thomas’ shoulders, deciding that staying stationary wasn’t something that suited this song. Hell, it didn’t particularly suit him – he preferred to be a bit more… touchy-feely. Let whoever you’re persuading never forget that you are there, constantly weighing in on them in a way that they can’t ignore; an arm around a shoulder, a hand on the hip, even just a pat of the head is enough to remind them that you are there, you are real and they will pay attention to you, whether they want to or not.

“You can’t sit around and watch, your destiny is in your control.” As he sang, he walked around Thomas slowly, making sure he was violating his personal space as he did. His steps were slow, measured, almost calculated, making sure that Thomas felt with every inch of his crawling skin that Deceit was nearby, and he wasn’t going away anytime soon. His hand trailed around Thomas’ side, almost purring out the words he was singing, voice as sultry and smooth as possible, keeping his eyes solely on Thomas. Although, for one second, he looked over to Roman, making eye contact as he painted a smirk onto his face, and before he dragged his eyes over to Thomas’ once more, he thought he saw the romantic side blush.

“Go ahead and, kick it up a notch.” Deceit walked out from Thomas, leaving the man to regain some sense of personal space, walking over to stage right, backwards, may he add, which made him like, 10x cooler instantly. His arms were held out beside him, in a ‘what can you do’ pose, but really, what could Thomas do? Deceit knew. Roman knew. Patton knew. Everyone knew what Thomas could do, but no one had the clarity to realise it was right, so it was up to Deceit to stand up for his beliefs. Well, he supposed Roman knew it was right, but under the bravado, he was nothing but a coward, and he planned to use that to his advantage. “If your life is at a level too low…”

All of a sudden, he was at the left side of Thomas, arm around him, running the other hand down the host’s face, taking advantage of his newfound height. Thomas jumped, before looking into Deceit’s eyes, and his ever-present smirk grew wider, this time in the name of real emotion instead of intimidation. This smirk was the culmination of a lifetime of vitriol aimed towards Patton for good reason, a lifetime of being seen as nothing but a villain, a lifetime of being ignored and demeaned and told he was malicious and wrong when he knew he was right – it was all blending into this feeling of contentedness and satisfaction and justice.

“There’s no attempt that you can botch, when all you gotta do is just give it a go!” He creeped ever closer to Thomas, unsettling the man more and more, even going as far as to lay a head on the man’s shoulder, his cheek pressed into the crook of his neck. He sighed dramatically, gesturing towards himself. “But then again, what would I knoooo-ooooo-oo-o-ooow?” He tore himself from the host as if he had been burned, and, in a way, he had been. The feeling of another living, breathing, real person next to his own body was something that he had always wished for, and now he had the chance to do it, he was touching his host like it was nobody’s business, and, in a way, it was. This was between Thomas and Thomas, and no one else was involved in this, be it the more anxious aspect that just dragged everyone down, or the logical side that had always been thrown to the side-lines, and did he even need to mention Patton?

All of a sudden, his hands were on Thomas again, shoving him into a cage that hadn’t been there a moment ago. Thomas flew back, hands flying backwards to catch himself before he flopped onto his back. Deceit lowered himself to Thomas’ level, crouching down to make eye contact and for whatever reason, Thomas couldn’t look away. “What I see right there is a prisoner who’s trapping himself in a cage!” With a snap of a finger, all of a sudden Thomas’ cage was sliding to the back of the stage, allowing Deceit to take centre stage as he looked back to the cage, taking in Thomas’ form as it shakily stood, hands grasping at the bars. The liar had his back turned to the audience. Well, this was never a performance meant for Patton, anyway. He looked over to Roman, still standing on the stage, looking like he’d rather be anywhere else but also more intrigued than Deceit had ever seen him. He held a longing in his eyes that Deceit recognised from seeing in the mirror almost every day since he had been formed. This was his chance for a better life, and all it took was a little nudge from Deceit to do it.

Deceit went from looking at Roman to looking with him. He locked eyes with the fanciful side, the side of dreams, the only side that, in Deceit’s opinion, had ever had his priorities straight. Well, not straight straight. Deceit had had enough pretending to be that for a lifetime. “Kick it up a notch, if you want that silver stage!” Roman’s eyes glimmered in recognition, considering the snake’s offer more and more by the second. Who knew it could be so easy to make someone do something they really want to do?

“Well, being in a movie would be really cool…” Roman started, eyes darting towards the sides that were not the most important one, as if trying to tread lightly, and oh, how sad was that? Thomas’ hopes, his dream, his deepest fantasies and what makes him happy, were being constantly bogged down time and time again by the other sides to the point of trying not to upset them, even if it meant missing out on a lifetime opportunity like this. Stepping on a few people’s toes was worth it if it meant Thomas’ whole life could change for the better.

“It would, wouldn’t it! Thomas, in an Alfred Hitchcoppolucas movie! He could kick-start his whole career!” “But, Mary Lee and Lee-” And oh, how nice for Patton to get involved! The one time Deceit got to speak, Patton just had to be a part of it. He couldn’t stay quiet for two seconds without getting involved, and that was dangerous. His influence could make or break Thomas’ life, and Deceit wasn’t going to let him break it.

Deceit was going to need a little extra firepower if he wanted to win Roman and Thomas over. He knew he was going to feel it in the morning, but it was worth it if everything went according to plan. He snapped his fingers, and all of a sudden, Virgil and Logan were rising from their places, not of their own volition if one was to believe the panicked look in their eyes (which they should), and they met Roman at centre stage, Deceit having stepped back to Thomas’ cage to lean on the bars and watch the show.

All three sides moved in unison, dancing to the beat of the music from Alexa and all donning simple smiles onto their faces, swaying eerily side to side, Roman’s grin more realistic than the others. This is why they stayed on the side-lines; they weren’t good actors in the slightest. But hell, he needed to prove a point, and if the chorus had to come in to back him up, so be it.

Deceit locked eyes with Patton and made the manipulative side clap a hand over his own mouth. Sure, it wasn’t necessary, and he was already expending too much energy as it was, but it was more than a gesture to shut Patton up; it was a show of power. This was Deceit’s turf, and he had to make sure Patton knew that before he got cocky again. He coyly placed a finger over his finger in a gesture of silence, eyes turning to the sides dancing in the centre of the stage.

As he did, they opened their mouths and began to sing, an eerie lilt adopted by their voices, each voice a different octave but ultimately in the same key. “All you gotta do is kick it up a notch, to dig yourself out of this hole! You wanna have the things you want? Then you gotta give that dice a roll!” They all smirked in unison, Logan and Virgil’s face blankly smiling while their eyes screamed for out, but Roman’s… Roman’s face was much more interesting. He had never seen anyone more conflicted, and he had watched Thomas realise he was gay. On the outside, it seemed he was thankful for this opportunity to get Thomas to do the right thing, but there was a certain tension to his eyebrows, smile not quite right and eyes aflame with doubt. Deceit pouted; that wouldn’t do. He sighed as he expended even more energy to push the choreography and lyrics into Roman, overtaking his mind with the smooth music of Starkid.

It worked. Roman’s face lit up, no longer hampered by doubt and fear for what the other sides will think, mind whirring with ideas of how this could positively influence Thomas’ whole life. Deceit looked smugly at Thomas as the man tried to grapple with what was going on, why he was being overwhelmed by hopes and dreams. All of a sudden, the cage hit Deceit’s moving fist, the energy rebounding through it and unbalancing Thomas as it did. The man fell to the floor, this time staying down as he sat, fearfully looking between the dancing sides. Roman stepped towards Thomas’ cage, sliding down to the host’s height as he crouched on the floor, voice buttery-smooth as he reached out to caress Thomas’ cheek.

“Kid, kick it up a notch! What’s the point of less when there is more?” Roman sang in a falsetto Deceit didn’t know he had, and he stood back up, yanking Thomas’ face up as he did, hand still holding onto his cheek and forcing the host to stand up. Logan and Virgil approached from behind, and as Roman made way for them, they bounced to the sinister beat. It had taken so damn long to create a backing track by ear – he’d gone to the effort of learning the piano, for hell’s sake! Thomas had better appreciate this – hell, Roman had better appreciate this. Logan sang next, voice as deep as Virgil liked to think he was. “Forget about friends.” Virgil cut in next, meagre voice having graduated to singing instead of just angstily hating Deceit. “They just let you watch, so when opportunity knocks at your door, you let it in and then you-” “Reach out for more!” All three sang at the same time surrounding Thomas’ cage and leaning in close enough for Thomas to be immensely uncomfortable. Never let them forget you’re there.

Finally, the one, the only, Deceit the magnificent took his rightful place in the spotlight once more as he sang, snapping his fingers and popping the other sides back to their places as the liar made himself known once more. “Life is short so before it’s over, take a chance and think it through!” He moved away from the cage only to move closer to sing the next line, and if he did a spin on his way back, that was nobody’s business but his own. “You better kick it up a notch, it’s the human thing to do!” His voice reached a peak at the end, and where he had previously planned a euphoric laugh, he fell silent. A man on the brink of tears shouldn’t be one to laugh, it’s never convincing. It’s not like he was getting worked up about this, or anything, it’s just that his Patton allergies were acting up.

“It’s a big, big world out there… So many weddings, are they all worth attending?” He scowled, shoving as much vitriol into his voice as he could, aiming his next words directly at the still-mute Patton. “Stop pretending.” He turned back to Thomas, voice softer but still angry and passionate. “It’s your life.” His voice went even softer, voice wistful and filled with awe. “What an invention… Life…” He grabbed onto one of the bars, hand inside the glove shaking with the intensity of which he was doing so. “There is some choice involved in what life you’re livin’!”

He turned so both hands were grasping the bars, voice raised to a shout as he screamed out in desperation. “You’re your own person, take what you’re given!” He coughed awkwardly, removing his hands from the bars and straightening his tie. “B-but” He took a deep breath, calming himself down as he did. “You wanna be a good person… or is that really what you want?” He raised an eyebrow doubtfully, making eye contact with his host as he towered over the man. “You wanna be in that movie? Well this might be your one and only shot!”

He turned away from the cage, letting the shadow the harsh stage lighting cast upon the floor speak for itself as he gesticulated grandly, looking in Roman’s direction but not quite at him. “You could go to the wedding, sitting sullen and depressed, or you could reach out and grab all you’ve ever wanted! All I ask is that you do what you’ve always truly wanted!” At that, he looked Roman in the eyes, the conflict evident on his face, but it looked like he was winning, shaking loose of the other side’s debilitating grasp. Deceit let himself show a small smile, one that would have been much larger if he hadn’t been under the pretence of composure. He turned back to the host, looking him right in the eyes, noticing that the man had his mind made up. He took the key to the cage out of his pocket and dangled it on a string for the man to grab. “So Thomas, what do you say?”

“I... I…”

He took it.

“I think I’ll kick it up a notch! I can take control of my own life!” “That’s the spirit! Make them be the ones to watch, how ‘bout that?” Their voices melded together, united in the fire of righteousness, ignorant of anyone who would dare drag them down. “Who are they to deprive us of wanting to-”  The lyrics split off for both of them, but their voices still sang as one, overlapping each other and drowning out any protests as Thomas opened the door to the cage and stepped out steadfastly. “I’m gonna make my life damn better!” “Kick it up a notch, never give yourself reason to doubt!” “I’m gonna make my life damn better!” “You gotta strike it while it’s hot, ‘cause that’s what livin’s all about!” “I’m gonna make my life damn better!” “My dear Thomas, time the lights went out!”

All of a sudden, they stopped, Thomas having migrated to the other side of the stage. He waved to Deceit and smiled. “Well, I’ll see you around, Deceit. Thanks.” And he said it so sincerely, that for a genuine minute, Deceit believed it. “Oh, uh- you’re- you’re welcome, Thomas.” Thomas left the courtroom with a snap of his own fingers, and it was then that Deceit sobered up. Suddenly, the aches and pains that came with using that much of his energy came ploughing into him, and even though he would like nothing more than to collapse into bed, it was time for one more victory dance.

“That’s not what he wants!” It seems that with pain came the loss of all of Deceit’s power, for Patton was making his way onto the stage as Logan and Virgil exchanged looks that just screamed ‘I have no idea what the hell to do so now I’m looking at you I guess.’ In Patton’s haste to get onto the stage, he stepped on Alexa, the backing track jumping as the hardware was damaged, so like, Patton, what the fuck? Those cost money, and unless he intends to pay Deceit back with that one dollar that Deceit knows was taken from him, Patton doesn’t have any money! He’d better at least leave a bouquet of flowers Deceit’s door, maybe a card if he was pushing his luck.

Deceit scowled, but whether it be at Patton’s words, Patton interrupting him or Patton stepping on his goddamn Alexa was to be speculated. “No, no, he’s told us what he wants! Break out the good clothes, boys! Soon, we act again!” He laughed evilly, hoping to strike fear into the hearts of Pattons everywhere, looking over to Roman to find him giggling along, giddy with the idea of working with Alfred Hitchcoppolucas. Deceit beamed and walked over to him, offering a hand in dance to the creative side. Roman took it in his fervor, and soon, Deceit was ballroom dancing with the fanciful side, consciously trying to ignore Patton, and, more importantly, make Roman ignore him.

He opened his mouth, his voice still as smooth and sultry as always despite how utterly exhausted he was. “Kick it up a notch, oh my plan is all about to unfold.” He spun Roman under him, Roman’s grin widening as he did. “Let’s put a twist into this plot. Tom, go forth, do everything that I’ve told ya.” As he sang the next line, Roman joined in (good) but so did Patton (very bad). “When we kick it up a notch…” “It’s worse for his friends!” Ah, there goes Patton, always so sure that his answer is the right one. Really, this must be good for him. He needed to be taken down a peg. Either way, Roman joined Deceit in protesting him, and oh, wasn’t that delicious? “But best for me!”

Roman held a note as Deceit went on to sing, both still dancing, but at some point, Roman was swapped for Patton, and now Deceit was holding onto Patton’s hands too tight, spinning him just a bit too wildly and accidentally stepping on his toes several times. “I’m gonna let our guy, once lost, be everything he’s wanted to be! Truly because I know he’s actually…” A wild spin, Patton left grasping for his bearings as Deceit wouldn’t stop spinning him.

“Make his life for the best, who cares about pleasing the rest?” Roman joined his song of victory. “Oh Thomas, I promise a treat!” Return to a solo, the liar’s voice gravelly as he could make it, finally letting Patton be as the ‘moral’ side walked away, shaken. “Let’s kick it up a notch.” “Kick it up a notch…” Roman chimed in, standing next to Deceit as he pulled Patton back one last time for a dip.

“So at last he’ll know what he needs!”

Shoutout to @rose-gold-roman for screaming about his fic with me (ur great broski) and to @captainofbadart for being on the same wavelength as me about Deceit and Kick it up a Notch!

Reblogs, likes and comments are greatly appreciated! Feedback is wanted.

#sanders sides #thomas sanders #deceit sanders #sanders sides deceit #ts deceit #roman sanders #ts roman #logan sanders #ts logan #patton sanders #ts patton #virgil sanders #ts virgil #sanders sides fanfic #lowkey super proud of this.....

[mtvswatches]

Jane the Virgin 1x03 Chapter Three

Spoilers disclaimer (please read before sending messages or writing comments.)

Stray thoughts 

1) The style of the “previously on” is very similar to the ones done in actual telenovelas, minus the narration. And on that note, I was wondering if the narrator will always be reliable or whether he will trick the viewers at some point? So far, he’s been reliable, but I guess there’s not much to base that argument on, you know?

2) Jane’s wishes, though…

#priorities

3) I really love how both her mom and her grandma have a great influence on her without being overbearing. She listens to both of them, and her decisions seem to fall somewhere in the middle.

4) I’m guessing Gina Rodriguez uttering these words…

…is part of a lot of people’s fantasies, right?

Also, I’m kind of surprised it took her so long to think of this “loophole”. Like, I thought they would bring it up in episode 1, but okay.

5) Could Petra have killed Zaz, though? The answer can’t be so straightforward, but we don’t have any clues yet… She doesn’t seem to be heartbroken, though.

6) The narrator keeps asking us to “trust” him, and I’m here like, hmmmm, maaaaaaybe?

7) Will Sin Rostro be someone we already know? Or someone that we haven’t met yet but who’s related to some of the main characters?

8) How will getting private messages from Petra – who is a suspect of murder – make Michael – the detective investigating the case – look? Someone is bound to find out.

9) Her fucking heartbeat started racing when she touched his arm…

10) Why was Rose so fascinated with Jane, though? And Luisa is a naughty girl, isn’t she?

11) How is Michael going to explain this one?

12) “But instead he lied.” Of course he did. Can’t say I’m surprised.

13) “I'm dismissing you 'cause you're not making any sense. You're, like, hormonal or something.” And you know what, Michael?

But in all seriousness, this is some serious gaslighting right here, isn’t it?

14) I mentioned this in my previous recap, but I really enjoy how honest Rafel and Jane are with each other and how much they value each other’s opinions. I’m keeping my fingers crossed super hard that this doesn’t change once they get together (I’m guessing they will because duh.)

JANE: I'm judgey. You should know that about me. You may end up having a really judgey kid.

RAFAEL: Okay, so what does "judgey" sound like? So that I can be prepared.

JANE: You told me that you don't want to be anything like your dad, which is easy enough to say. But actions are what count. So, what are you doing about it?

RAFAEL: I hope the baby's judgey.

And let’s see what he does about it, right?

15) I really love that Alba is traditional but not old-fashioned or too set on her ways. Like, she seems to be super cool with her daughter sleeping with her old flame in her own house (she even covered up for them in front of Jane.) And she’s so excited when Xiomara gets the presents from Rogelio? (This guy is truly clueless, isn’t he?) I like you, Alba.

16) Seriously, Rogelio.

17) Yeah, completely logical suggestion. Sound advice, sound advice.

18) Michael is a complete idiot, okay? Who in their right mind would tamper with his own investigation’s evidence just to avoid her girlfriend from keeping a baby?

19) Oh, Rogelio, Rogelio…

He’s so clueless, but I think he might be one of my favorite characters so far.

20) I really loved that when faced with a similar situation to the one Michael faced – the possibility of telling a lie that would inevitably snowball – Jane chose to come clean. That’s kind of refreshing.

21) I love how all of Alba’s resolve melts down the second she sees Rogelio in his glorious El President outfit. He is a charmer, though. And Alba was swayed so easily, I loved it.

22) So Petra got Jane and Michael the suite… is this a favor she intends to cash back?

23) Am I… am I watching Crazy Ex Girlfriend now?!

24) I like how Xiomara and Alba play the devil and angel on Jane’s shoulders, but they’re both good people with good intentions, it’s just that they have very different outlooks on life and very different parenting styles.

25) Well, you’d have to be dead for her heart not to pound like crazy after dancing like this with this hottie…

I don’t ship it yet, though. I wonder if I will because I don’t usually ship the pairings that the shows try to shove down your throat from episode one, and Rafael and Jane are clearly that. I tend to prefer the underdog romantic interest, the unexpected I-never-saw-that-coming-but-the-chemistry-was-impossible-to-ignore one. So we’ll see how it goes with this show.

26) So, Rose enjoys the sordid tryst with her step-daughter, but it’s only that. I can’t see Luisa being okay with this. And how long can you call what they have “temporary”? It seems this has been going on for a long time…

27) Saved by the bell, literally.

28) Alba’s words are meant to be accepting and supportive, but they have a different effect on Jane, they forced her to face her feelings, the fact that she’s not so sure Michael is the man she wants to marry…

Mi amor, quería decirte algo. Aún cuando cometas este pecado mortal, yo te sigo queriendo. Te guardaste para el hombre con el que te vas a casar, el hombre del que estás segura. Y me da gusto que no me hayas mentido, te quiero mucho.

29) Her heart, though…

30) Oh Petra, you’re fucked…

PETRA: Hey, did you ever get in touch with Aaron?

RAFAEL: Aaron?

PETRA: Zaz's brother. You mentioned him this morning.

NARRATOR: He had not got in touch with Aaron. In fact, Rafael's search for Zaz's brother had been stymied by one simple fact. Until this moment, he never knew his name.

31) Oh, Jane, you lied to Michael… tsk, tsk…

32) And it backfired…

MICHAEL: We'll wait, then. But what are we waiting for? I-I love you. You're the person I want to be with. So there's no reason why we can't move the wedding up, right?

33) Of course Petra is manipulating Michael, in what world did white loaf bread could possibly believe he’d be able to call the shots in this scenario? I gotta wonder, though, could the murderer been her mum? I mean, I can totally picture her pulling a Spike - pretending she’s in a wheelchair so that she can get away with stuff. Hmmm.

34)

The narrator seems surprised, but even before that, I had the feeling that “XO” doesn’t stand for Xiomara, maybe just your regular XOXO? From what I’ve seen of Rogelio so far, I can totally believe him deciding to send the pre-made gift basket thinking that she would totally love it, without giving it a second thought. Dude is totally self-absorbed, so I can’t picture him going out of his way to get her a personalized, meaningful present like the bracelet. That ought to have been a mistake of some kind.

Thing is, whether I’m right or wrong, this definitely makes the narrator less than omniscient. He was thrown off by the bracelet. So maybe it’s not so that he is unreliable but that he doesn’t see the whole picture... 

Yes, I know, I’m way too obsessed with the role of the narrator, I just find it fascinating okay?

35) Does your wish come true if the firefly dies on your hands?

36) I enjoyed this episode, I really like where the stories are going, but I was fully expecting another huge plot twist. Onto the next one!

37) Hope you enjoyed my recap, and, as usual, if you’ve got this far, thank you for reading! If you enjoy my recaps and my blog, please consider supporting it on ko-fi.Thanks!

38) This recap is dedicated to @capitalnineteen , who requested first on this post! Thank you for showing your support!

#Jane the Virgin #Jane Villanueva #Gina Rodríguez #Rafael Solano #Justin Baldoni #MTVSwatches #JTV recap #JTV 1x03 #mine