#when your favorite show ends on a cliffhanger

[katiekat-draws]

This comic is about the first 4 minutes of Ancient Magus Bride S1E8, and all of The Last of Us. Just all of it.

#comicart #comics #the last of us hbo #ancient magus bride #let sleeping dogs lie #im not kidding #this was my genuine reaction #if you know you KNOW #alternate titles include #when your favorite character dies #when your favorite anime gets a live action adaptation #when your favorite show ends on a cliffhanger #and then gets cancelled #when you fail the saving throw #when your rent goes up #when the shiny runs away from you #when you loose power during the climax #when you watch the news #when your cat chews up your stylus

[charliemwrites]

Part 4 of obsessed Johnny.

(Part 3 is here!)

(CW for nonconsensual ‘sort-of’ free use and edging; and again - dubious consent. Please stay safe!!)

Johnny’s favorite pastime is playing with you. If you didn’t know better, you’d think he’s being purposefully cruel, but no. He’s just… strangely preoccupied with your body.

He spends most nights cradling you between his legs, your back to his chest, arms wrapped around you. The two of you watch tv or movies, share popcorn - sometimes he watches you play on your Switch or reads over your shoulder.

It started out almost innocent (so to speak) in the beginning. He’s a fidgety guy, you’ve known that long before this whole mess, used to smile to yourself when you cleaned up straw wrappers and clean napkins folded into odd shapes.

So you barely notice when he starts fiddling with the hems of your sweatshirt and long shirts, picking at strings or running his thumb over knit textures. When he moved to your socks, that caught your attention but never went very far - just tugging at elastic lace or rolling/unrolling the tops along your thighs.

And then one night, as the two of you are watching the latest superhero movie, he hand creeps under your panties. You jolt the instant his fingers grazes your slit, hands twitching as you debate the dangers of redirecting him.

“Something wrong, Bonnie?” he asks against your ear, genuinely curious. “Is it too loud?”

It occurs to you that he genuinely might not realize what he’s doing - that reaching for you is just a thoughtless action like folding up bits of paper.

“Your hand is in my underwear,” you explain.

A pause. “Oh, so it is.” And to your surprise, he returns to hugging you.

It happens again though, this time you’re so preoccupied trying to beat a video game level that you almost don’t notice until his middle finger glides over your clit. You suck in a breath and die instantly.

“Damn,” he mutters. “Thought you had it that time. Gonna give it another go or you done for the night.”

Stuttering, you say you’ll give it another try, almost morbidly curious about how far he’ll go. Pretty far it turns out. He toys with your clit for 15 minutes before you clear your throat and shift, feeling unbearably wet and achy.

“Oh, shite. I did it again,” he mumbles, extracting his hand and settling it on the outside of your thigh. “No wonder you keep dying.”

The next time is during an intense tv show you’ve both gotten really into. It’s distracting from the weird reality you’ve found yourself in - but not weird enough that you can ignore Johnny tapping his finger nervously over your clit. You swear your heartbeat is starting to match that rhythm - tap, tap, tap. He doesn’t get the hint when you shift this time, eyes locked on the screen as he mutters to himself.

“No way is he secretly her brother. No fuckin’ way.”

You try to ignore it. Hope it’ll end in its own time when the tension dies down. It doesn’t. He lets the next episode load automatically, babbling to you about the crazy cliffhanger.

As it opens, his fingers travel down your slit to your entrance, find the slick there and play in it. Microthrusts against your leaking hole, just wetting his fingertip before dragging it out, up to your clit, three circles, then back down again.

It’s maddening but it’s not enough. You’re biting your lip so hard you’re surprised you don’t taste blood, thighs twitching with each jolt of pleasure coursing through you.

On and on it goes, slow and absent, maddening. Literally just playing with your pussy like a fidget toy. He’s not even fully hard against your lower back! Just the normal amount of mildly turned on that having you in his lap produces.

It’s driving you into a fucking spiral. So so sensitive, so close to the edge, but never enough. You just lay there trapped against him, dripping and desperate and determined to be quiet because you don’t know what else to do now. You can’t let yourself get off to this - but you also can’t find the words to remind him to stop.

When the episode - the finally - finally ends, he pulls his hand away, already gearing up to discuss theories for the next season with you. Instead, he’s cut off as you hiccup, near tears with being denied.

“What’s wrong, hen? I didn’t think it was that bad!” he says.

“You-you were…” you can’t get the words out, give up entirely. Time to see if he really is as devoted to pleasing you as he always swears.

You crawl out of his lap, flip onto your back, and yank him down by the hair. He makes a startled noise, eyes going huge, and then whimpers as his cheek presses into your absolutely soaked panties. Even that is a cruel but unintentional tease.

“Fix it,” you near sob.

“Of course, baby, of course,” he hurries to say, wriggling into a better position. “I’m sorry, love. So sorry. Got you all spun up, huh? Didn’t mean to. You’re just so soft and-”

You whine. “Soap, shut up and lick me!”

He moans, hips jerking hard into the mattress. “Yes, ma’am.”

#thoughts™️ #cod #my writing #fanfiction #dark fic #reader fic #obsessive johnny #john soap mctavish x reader #john soap mactavish

[ifyoucandaniel]

exactly one person asked and i’ve been DYING to make this, so here are all of my favorite long batman fanfics in general and for new readers @twisted-tales-told :)

cards on the table by @wesslan ! 69k, completed. this is one of my all time favorite fanfictions, it’s so funny and tim is a mastermind genius and a little liar <3 he basically pretends to be a fortune teller and gives scarily good predictions and advice by stalking the upper class and eventually gets involved with the batfam and has to maintain his lies while dealing with his issues :) 10/10, very found family, good angst, so much lying

Dark Matter by @mysterycyclone , 221k, ongoing. this is a batman fanfic rec, of course my bbg dark matter is going to be here <3 this is a MCUxDCU crossover where after infinity war (spoilers for that if you haven’t seen it!) peter parker gets sent to the DCU dimension with part of the soul stone and basically is haunted by the ghosts of the avengers while trying to survive in gotham and get back to his dimension. this is so well written i’ve read it at least three times, it’s still ongoing but trust me it is SO GOOD. i can’t properly describe it, but if you like spider-man and you are interested in batman, you’ll love.

Red is the Color of Sinners by @bluelotuswrites , series, 120k, ongoing, M. i want you to look me in my eyes when i tell you this is my favorite series on ao3. it is set after under the red hood and daredevil 3 where jason and matt meet in a church after jason loses his ability to speak following the events of UTRH. they keep running into each other both as matt and daredevil and eventually jason begins helping matt out with injuries and tech. it’s not finished yet, but there is something so compelling about their dynamic in this series as well as jason’s overall character and how he is portrayed. i’m a sucker for mute jason after UTRH and this series does so well giving him a fresh start and a place away from gotham to heal and build relationships. i cannot recommend enough.

buy back the secrets by @vinelark , 71k, ongoing, T. THIS!!! oh my god, so this is a timkon fic where kon still doesn’t know tim’s civilian identity, but whenever he’s in trouble tim calls for superboy which leads to them meeting without kon knowing. shenanigans ensure when kon starts spending more time with tim! it’s still ongoing but the author is currently working on the next part and it is so so worth the wait. chapter 4 ends on a cliffhanger though so be warned :))

Sales People Know (listening is the most important part) by Mayhem10, 77k, completed, T. this has the coolest urban magical realism ever. tim basically runs this magic shop that shows up places and people who need something find it in his shop :) it’s kinda a slow burn found family fic with magic themes and a smidge of angst!

Retrograde Motion by Lysical, 112k, completed, T. this is best de-aged kid fic ever. jason gets turned into a 7 year old and basically the outlaws, artemis and biz, join forces with the batfam to take care of him. but trust me when i say this is worth your time, it might sound tropey but in the best way possible!! and jason’s relationship with artemis is sooo important to me in this!

Hand in Unloveable Hand (a chokehold) by britishparty, 54k, completed, M. this is one of the best psychological torture/grooming fics i’ve ever read. pretty much what if while our taking photos of batman and robin, little tim gets kidnapped and black mask gets his hands on him and decides he’s the perfect size for a protege. years of psychological abuse and insane mind games ensue. also tim is a Badass™️

If He Had Come by bronwe_iris, 45k, completed, T. so i’m a little freak and i love the angst of arkham knight jason, but more specifically the aus where bruce saves jason before he becomes the arkham knight! this is an au where bruce finds jason and saves him from the joker after 9 months of torture and brings him home. focuses on his healing mentally and physically and rebuilding his relationship with his family

Banshee in a Well by liverobinreaction (bugbee), 43k, completed, T. veeeery good angst. basically what if tim couldn’t die? 43k of tim drake whump where he just dies a bajillion times and eventually his family notices <3

The Birds: Hatching a Family by Oceanera12, 81k, completed, T. this is like “what if the batkids weren’t adopted by bruce, but instead they were all foster siblings who can’t seem to stay out of gotham at night and batman happens to find them and decides obviously he can’t leave these kids to their own business, he has to stick his nose in it” and there’s some angst and heaps of found family

The Hellblazer’s Apprentice by @bluelotuswrites, 29k, ongoing, M. what can i say, im a simple woman, i love to see jason with literally any older male mentor :) basically in UTRH what if he took up an apprenticeship under constantine to learn magic to piss off batman! so good, i really love constantine so seeing him and jason interact in a long fic is so good. also ALL BLADES JASON TODD SAVE ME… ALL BLADES JASON TODD-

something in the static by bonerot19, 101k, ongoing series with three main completed works, T. this is a jason centric series where jason still lives in crime alley with his mom and dad and never stole the batmobile tires. it follows his life in crime alley with an addict mom and an abusive dad and one night when his dad is whaling on him nightwing finds him and the bats just can’t seem to leave him alone after that. steph is his neighbor and best friend also and their relationship is so good. this is a “what if jason took a different way home to the wayne’s” fic series and i love it so much <3

catch the asteroids that come your way by ThePackWantsTheD, 54k, completed, T. i don’t read a lot of ships in the batman fandom i’m sorry, but this kyle/jason one is sooo lovely. basically the two of them growing up together and falling in love and then dealing with the aftermath of A Death in the Family and finding each other again :) really sweet and nice!

hope you find something you like! i realized the majority of these are tim or jason centric, and i love them all dearly, but if anyone has any recs for long fics focusing on any of the other batkids lmk! and any other recs in general, i am a fiend for new fics

#batman fanfiction recommendation #batfam fic rec #batman fic rec #fic: cards on the table #fic: dark matter #fic: red is the color of sinners #fic: buy back the secrets #fic:salespeople know (listening is the most important part) #fic: retrograde motion #fic: hand in unloveable hand (a chokehold) #fic: if he had come #fic: banshee in a well #fic: the hellblazers apprentice #fic: the birds: hatching a family #fic: something in the static #fic: seventeen going under #fic: catch the asteroids that come your way #timkon #jaykyle #timkon fic rec #batman #batfam #jason todd #tim drake #dick grayson #damian wayne #bruce wayne #stephanie brown #duke thomas #cassandra cain

[appleblueberry-pie]

Thank you for answering my sick reader request. Can I please ask for a part 2 wherein Yandere Nanami nurses his sick darling back to health and by the end of their sickness they at least trust them enough to sleep and cuddle beside them

I don't really like doing part 2s because I love seeing ppl suffer from cliffhangers, but I'll do it this one time.

And Let Yourself Heal

You don't find anything to say as Kento continues to be patient with you. This morning, he was up before you to cook you a warm breakfast. When you opened your already exhausted eyes, he was standing at your bedside with a wide tray of warm breakfast. He gently fed you every single mouthful, making sure you slowly chewed each bite, and even let you have a glass of strawberry lemonade since you insisted on one.

He tucked you under the sheets once more when you felt the urge to go back to sleep. And he was there when you woke up again midday to help bring you to the bathroom to clean yourself up. For once, he was actually respectful of your space and let you do what you needed without him hovering over you this time. He said he didn't want you stressed over nothing and how it's bad for a healing body to be pushed to its limits.

When you finished with your bathroom routine and got into freshly washed clothes, he had your favorite tv show on and had you sit on the couch with a cup of unsweetened tea to help your hunger before he finished with lunch. All of this for you. It almost seemed like he was overdoing it for you, but when you looked into his eyes, you could tell he meant every gesture from the heart. His sleeves have been rolled up since the morning and he doesn't plan to relax until the sun goes down and it's time for you to go to bed once more.

Your mind was clouded with judgement with how Kento was treating you, and couldn't focus on the show. Instead, you watched him chop the fruits and vegetables on the cutting board. He seemed to try and perfect every cut he made for the fruit so you can enjoy it to the fullest without any problems when eating it. And the vegetables were minced nicely before they went into the heated skillet. The aroma floating through the kitchen into the living room settled your heart in ways you didn't feel was possible.

Kento turned his head to check on you before double taking when he sees you already staring at him. A nervous smile spreads on his face as he brings you the chopped fruit. "You pestered me about getting these the last time I went grocery shopping, so I decided to get them for you this time. Take your time with these, please." He gently informs you, placing the bowl of fruit on the table in front of you before leaving back into the kitchen.

You felt conflicted by the time dinner started. You were sure Kento hasn't eaten all day and has been putting all of his time and energy into taking care of you. You really shouldn't feel like this, but you were worried. Worried he was taking it too far for you and for himself. You watch him carefully organize a bite on the plate onto the eating utensil with a small smile on his face before showing it to you for you to eat. You hesitate at first, but still take the bite, slowly chewing. "Are you alright? Is it not to your liking? More salt?" You shake your head and let him wipe the corner of your mouth with a napkin.

"Then what is it?" He mutters and gives you your cup of water. You hesitate to tell him, but then settle for telling him the half truth. "Maybe a little more garlic next time." He nods in appreciation and gathers another bite for you. When you blink, it's bedtime. For some reason, he always seemed to know when you naturally get drowsy at night, and makes that your scheduled bedtime. He's currently folding the covers underneath your chin for you to be the most comfortable when you sleep. His steady hands carefully take in every detail of the sheets to make sure you're alright.

You turn your back to him, closing your eyes to finally rest. When he finishes, he sits back up and rests is hands on his lap with a content sigh. You were way more compliant than any other time he's tried to take care of you. Maybe you were finally turning over a new stone, allowing him to show you the love you deserve and need. He stares at you from a distance, the distance he's always wanted to close. And without thinking, his hand raises back up on its own and gently rubs at your back. But you don't do anything. You didn't seem to tense up at all when he did this and Kento felt his heart leap with excitement.

Without trying to bother you, he decides to try and push it further. He waits a few moments and stops touching you before scooting closer to you. Nothing. With gentle movements, he lays down on the same side you're laying on and stares at your backside. And if he stares long enough, he'll realize that this is exactly how it looks in his dreams to lay in bed with you. This is genuinely all he's ever wanted. He refuses to ruin this moment by touching your waist or arms. He'll wait until you allow him to move closer to you. Allow him to touch your face, your sides when you're awake. And maybe then, he will have your consent to make the relationship bloom into something even more.

#yandere #yandere x reader #yandere x you #reader #yandere character #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #yandere jjk #yandere nanami kento #yandere kento #yandere nanami #yandere jjk x reader #yandere jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #yandere jujutsu kaisen #nanami kento #nanami #nanami kento x reader #nanami x reader #yandere nanami x reader #yandere nanami kento x reader

[asdfghjklmals]

NETFLIX & BETRAYALS✩༶‧˚

GENRE + T/W: sfw, fluff. WORD COUNT: 0.8k words. TAGS: boyfriend!gojo, satoru gojo x fem!oc, established couple.

SYNOPSIS: oc gojo girlfriend betrays satoru and watches an episode of the show they were watching together without him. AUTHOR'S NOTE: in celebration of bridgerton's queen charlotte premiere. i cried ugly tears and then an idea popped up in my head. REMINDER: if you want to imagine yourself in oc gojo girlfriend's character descriptions instead, please do!

“babe? i’m home!” satoru called out to you in the living room from the foyer.

you were spooked by your boyfriend’s voice. he wasn’t supposed to be home from his mission until half past seven. you quickly turned off the television and sprinted to your lover’s side.

“hi, honey!” you chuckled apprehensively, brushing his arms up and down with your hand. “how was work?”

“they assigned me a grade 2 curse because no other sorcerers were available. it was a piece of cake.” he squinted his eyes at you, suspicious of what you were doing before he teleported into the apartment.

you tried to keep the conversation going, “i thought you weren’t gonna be home until 7:30pm? if i knew you were coming home early, i would’ve started dinner.”

“babe, it was a grade 2. my presence alone was enough to exorcise that tiny thing.” that satoru gojo, he was so cocky and full of himself. as he should be, he was the strongest after all.

“what were you doing just barely?” he questioned you with suspecting eyes. “oh, just watching some random show on tv.” you nervously laughed, scratching the back of your head. “okay, cool. mind giving me the remote?” satoru reached for the remote in your hand as you backed away from him.

“why don’t you order us some dinner first? then we can watch our show together.” you avoided his eye contact, you were a horrible liar and he could see right through you. you always joked that it was a benefit to having the six eyes, when in reality, he just knew you too well. he was the type of boyfriend to know when you were awake just by the sound of your breathing.

your current tv show that you and your boyfriend were watching together was the latest season of bridgerton. you and satoru were avid fans of the show and watched every season together. your favorite season was season 1, but he didn't need to know that. unfortunately, last night ended on a cliffhanger and satoru had to wake up early for work, so you couldn’t watch another episode together. you may or may not have started the next episode without him… you just had to find out why king george was acting the way he was!

satoru stood in front of you and grabbed the remote from your hand. you didn’t even try to fight him. his cursed energy well overpowered yours and you knew you wouldn't be able to get through his infinity. you gulped as he turned on the TV.

“i knew it!” he shrieked, “you started another episode without me!” he was so dramatic. it was like you went to sushi go without him, or if you went to his favorite kikufuku shop without him, it was the end of the world in his beautiful, cerulean blue eyes.

you stepped forward, “babe, i had to know why—”

“nuh uh. i’m pissed at you.” he frowned and folded his arms. you peered at him with puppy dog eyes and continued to slowly creep towards him. he pouted his lips and turned his face away from you. you placed both your hands on his shoulders, shifting them to cradle both sides of his neck.

“i’m sorry, satoru.” you tip-toed to kiss his cheek as he refused to look at you. you continued your assault of kisses on his cheek, down his jawline, and towards his neck until gojo pushed your hands away from him.

“okay, okay. i forgive you,” he rolled his eyes. he couldn’t stay mad at you for more than a minute. “but, because you betrayed me, you’re treating for dinner tonight.” you felt that it was a fair punishment. you smiled at him and he put his arms around your waist, pulling you into a hug. he rested his head on your shoulders.

“sushi go take out?” you suggested.

you felt his laugh vibrate your whole body.

“yes, lady gojo, that would be quite splendid,” as gojo recited in a fake (but horrible) british accent.

EXTRA:

you and satoru binged the entire new season of bridgerton tonight after finishing your take out dinner from sushi go. you were both bundled up in a cozy throw blanket on the couch, legs intertwined, gojo’s arm around your shoulders pulling you close.

“by the way, satoru…”

“hmmm?” he squeezed you, kissing the side of your head, peering down to look at his tired lover.

“i know you watched the last season of love is blind without me.”

“i did not! i would never betray you like you did to me today.” he said defensively, clutching his chest in (fake) shock. he was also a horrible liar. how could two people so bad at lying be together?

“oh, i know you did, baby. megumi told me that you were using his profile so i couldn’t see the watch history on ours.”

“that’s it, i’m changing the netflix password.”

© 2023 ASDFGHJKLMALS — ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. PLEASE DO NOT COPY, TRANSLATE, OR REPOST MY WORK.

DIVIDERS PROVIDED BY @/ANLIAN-AISHANG

#jjk x oc #jjk fluff #gojo x oc #gojo satoru x oc #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen fluff #jujutsu kaisen fanfic #jujutsu kaisen gojo #satoru gojo #satoru gojo x oc #satoru gojo fluff #gojo satoru #gojo fanfic #gojo satoru fluff #jjk x reader #gojo x reader #gojo satoru x reader #satoru gojo x reader #satoru gojo x you #jjk x you #gojo fluff #gojo imagines #satoru gojo imagines #jjk imagines #satoru gojo fanfic #gojo satoru fanfic #gojo satoru imagines

[suffersinfandom]

Okay. OFMD discourse.

I see a lot of passive aggressive digs at "media literacy" and claims that we're watching different shows, and... I guess that's true? There's obviously a fundamental disagreement about what story OFMD is telling. Like, I feel like we need to sit down and do some kind of Story Analysis 101 just to make sure we all have the same foundational understanding of the show.

Like. What I was talking about in the first part of this post.

If you and everyone in your server are doing OFMD media analysis and you've all concluded that the show's main plot is the crew's storyline, you're going to come to very different conclusions than me. You're going to wonder why so much time in S2 was given to B plots and scenes that don't move the crew's story forward. You're going to be annoyed that so much of the season is devoted to Gentlebeard and not Izzy and his relationship with the crew. You might even conclude that the whole show is an example of "bury your gays" because the central queer character -- the character whose development is, in your eyes, the heart and soul of the show -- dies at the end.

The thing is? The "big cliffhanger" of S1 was not the crew's separation, and the first episodes of S2 aren't about the crew's reunion and Izzy's arc. Izzy and the crew are not the show's protagonists. Stede and Ed are the protagonists; their relationship is the main plotline. It's very silly to call S2E4 a "mistake" that "[shoves] the show's main plot and most of the characters into 1 minute scenes in between much longer gentlebeard scenes" because the Gentlebeard scenes are the main plot.

Prior to OFMD, my favorite characters were always secondary and a lot of my personal analysis focused on action that fell outside of the main story. Heck, one of my blorbos of choice takes an antagonistic role to the story's protagonists, and yeah, I sure do sympathize with him even though he's not positioned as the guy who's in the right. But I'm always aware of my blorbo's place in the narrative.

It's okay if your favorite character(s) aren't the protagonists of a story. It's okay if the plotline you're most interested in isn't the main one. It's okay if you hang out in the corners of fandom that focus on the parts of the story you care the most about. It's even okay if you're mad at OFMD for letting you down by not giving enough time and attention to the bits that are the most important to you.

Just.

Stede and Ed are the protagonists. OFMD is, first and foremost, about their relationship. When I see analysis that denies this, I feel like I'm completely losing my mind.

#ofmd #ofmd fandom #fandom critical? #idk i feel like a crazy person sometimes #and sometimes this fandom is frustrating #ofmd discourse

[maggieandsturn]

STOOD UP — 𝚖. 𝚜𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚘𝚕𝚘

✎summary: the reader gets stood up on a date

✎warnings, notes: i apologize if it switches from past tense to present tense, i forgot which one i was using halfway through 🙈 um also reeeeally abrupt ending i wasn't sure what to say else but its like a little cliffhanger hehe

okay, i'm here :)

i’ve got us a table

are you running late?

After twenty-eight minutes of waiting, you slouched back into the cold booth chair, fiddling with your fingers in your lap.

It's the night before Valentine's Day, and your friends have been trying to set you up with someone so you can go on a group date tomorrow night. But everyone they tried either wasn't funny, wasn't kind, wasn't cute, or wasn't present.

You snapped out of your sorrowful trance when your waiter came by to fill your water glass. You noticed him staring at the melted ice in the cup opposite of you.

"Anything else I can get you?" He asked cautiously.

You shook your head. "No, thanks."

"Alright," He nodded slowly and walked away from your table.

You scanned the restaurant again, and your eyes landed on your basket of breadsticks. You slowly picked up the last one and crunched on it, figuring you might as well finish them off before going to your favorite deli to grab a sandwich to feast on by yourself. And if you’re lucky, you'll have leftovers for tomorrow night, where you'll spend the night on your couch rewatching your favorite show.

You took your coat, which was folded in between you and the window, and were putting it on when you heard the leather booth seat across from you squeak with someone sitting there. You looked up in surprise.

In front of you were two glasses of cola, a new basket of breadsticks, and your waiter in the booth seat.

"Thought you might want some company. And something else to drink," He smiled.

"Aren’t you... working?"

"I just got off actually. Snuck some extra breadsticks. And don’t worry about the sods, it's on me."

You chuckled, taking your jacket off and folding it back up. "Thank you. Remind me of your name?"

"Matt. You?"

"Y/N."

"Sorry if I'm intruding, but... were you stood up?" You glared at him through your eyebrows. "Sorry."

You blinked and shook your head. "No, I'm sorry, it's not your fault. Yeah, my friends have trying to set me up with someone for the last month."

"For Valentine's Day?"

You nodded shyly. "I guess I'll be the sixth wheel tomorrow tomorrow night."

He nodded, like he understood. You went back to fiddling with your hands under the table.

"I can be your date?" You looked up at him in surprise. "I mean, I can come with you if you want. We can, like, pretend. or whatever."

You scrunched your eyebrows together at first, but then raised them in consideration.

#chris sturniolo #chris sturniolo imagine #chris sturniolo oneshot #christopher sturniolo #christopher sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo #matt sturniolo imagine #matt sturniolo oneshot #matt sturniolo x reader #nick sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #matthew sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #chris sturniolo x reader

[deppiet]

About the yassification of GO2.

Warning: the following text is highly critical of the second season of Good Omens. If you enjoyed it, I am happy for you, and a non-negligible amount of jealous as well. Please scroll past before I inevitably rain on your fandom parade.

So, I did the thing. I binged the entire second season of what was, up to now, my favorite show ever, in one sitting. And I have a great deal of things to say, but hardly any of them is positive.

Let me start by saying that I don't mind the cliffhanger or the melancholy ending, like at all. In our era of Marvel apologists and the instant gratification culture, it is necessary for media to persevere and add nuance to romantic relationships. That said, what transpired during the six hours leading up to this sort of unearned climax hardly contains anything remotely close to nuance.

Who are these people? I don't mean the new characters, all of them written as cardboard-cut anthropomorphic personifications of stereotypes, yassified to the point of representation losing its purpose and getting in the way of, you know, actual writing. I mean the protagonists themselves, Aziraphale and Crowley, up to now my favorite characters in the entire world and -up to now- tangled in a love story so beautiful I had, for better or for worse, devoted a large part of my creative output on it, making art, songs, and metas on why what those two entities had was as close to perfect as anyone can hope to find for themselves.

These are not the characters I knew. The characters I knew spent hundreds of human lifetimes revolving around each other in a treacherous yet familiar dance- they both knew the love was there, it was comfortable like an armchair that has taken the shape of the body using it for years. They argued the way old couples do, and of course, like all fictional beings that are counterparts of one another, had differences to settle, but what stood in their way wasn't misunderstanding or miscommunication, in was their fear of Heaven and Hell, and their fundamentally different approaches on how to keep each other safe.

What is all this teen angst? This will-they-won't-they silliness that lacks any nuance, thematic coherence, or literally even trace amounts of understanding of the source material? Where is the dark humor, the quotability, the chaotic overarching plot, the self conscious camp? The season is so cynically written to cater specifically to a certain part of fandom, that I am losing respect for the original work- because if Neil Gaiman doesn't care for these fictional beings, and he evidently doesn't, why should I?

The thematic core of what made Good Omens what it was, had always been the "Love in unexpected places" trope Sir Terry Pratchett knew how to write so well. It had never been about the fantasy, because Sir Terry wrote satire wrapped up in a supernatural package, it had never been about the romance, because when the ship becomes the end instead of the means, the love rings hollow, like artificial light trying to pass as sunshine. The beating heart of GO lies in its philosophy, in the beautiful notion that the agents of two oppressive systems at war have more in common with one another than with their respective oppressors. That being a nobody, a mere cog in a larger machine, says more about said machine than it does about you, and that you can try to break free and build a life for yourself, where a happy ending looks like a dinner at the Ritz with the one you love most.

Shoehorning an underdeveloped "romance" between Beelzebub and Gabriel not only feels like bad fanfic (disclaimer: I like the ship and feel like it could have worked if developed in any capacity, and presented in a more humorous and character-appropriate way. I hate with passion how much they watered down Beelzebub in order to make them stereotypically romanceable, adding the Ineffable Bureaucracy to the ever-expanding list of characters I don't care about anymore.) but also, it muddles and grossly undermines the thematic raison d'être of Ineffable Husbands. If the ramifications for defecting and fucking off with the enemy were a slap on the wrist for the respective leaders of both sides, well surely the system can't be that oppressive after all. And if fear of the oppressive system wasn't, after all, what kept these beings apart, surely these two entities don't like each other as much as we thought. Or rather, one is reduced to a lovesick puppy and the other to a brainless husk of a character, a plot device, a means to go from place A to place B without spending much brainpower on the logistics.

And if these two new people got to kiss I care not, for they are not the same people I rooted for (props, though, to the actors, who gave, somehow, an almost Shakespearean gravitas to their love affair, underwritten and dumbed down as it was. They both love the characters, and it shows in the minuscule yet brilliant ways in which they added nuance where the script had none.)

What was that thing with the lesbians about? Though straight passing, I have always known myself to be attracted to women as well as men, and I am always highly suspicious when an "ally" writer (see: straight, no shade to straight people among which I live because they are, like, the majority) decides to make all characters queer, in the face of real-world statistics and despite NOT being queer themselves. When a person like Nate Stevenson does it they get a pass because writers self-insert and because, when done well, it can carry a message of equality. But when the ally writer does it, unless it is pitch-perfect, I am forced to examine the possibility of them being calculating about it and trying to score representation points, often because they need the rep as a fig leaf to cry homophobia behind when people start complaining about the atrocious plot.

Nina and Maggie were boring. They had no personalities, no cohesive backstories, nothing to make us understand what they are to one another and to the overarching plot ("plot" is used loosely here, for there was no plot: the series ended where it should have started, with six hours of -progressively more offensive to my intelligence- fanfic tropes in a trenchcoat serving as the, well, "plot"). I didn't care whether or not they'd end up together, because I have no idea who they are. The blandness of the dialogue had the actresses, both very talented as evidenced in the first season, grasping at straws with what little characterization they were left to work with, and the "ball" was so unbelievably bad a plot device no amount of suspension of disbelief was ever going to make it right.

The minisodes, though at parts clever and philosophical, felt out of place. This was another narrative choice I had to raise my eyebrows at, because it felt like a bunch of executives sat around a table and watched Neil Gaiman's powerpoint presentation of what made Season 1 financially successful. They were shoehorned in, largely irrelevant to the, eh, "plot", and most of them lasted far more than I personally deemed welcome, or necessary.

What else is there to say? The wink-winks and nudge-nudges to the Tumblr nation? The in-your-face Doctor Who reference? The narratively myopic choice to make Crowley a former archangel? The cheese dialogue, not one bit of which was quotable?

I am distraught. I am grieving an old friend, and a part of my fandom life I cannot, in good faith, return back to after this gross betrayal. I am happy for those who don't see it, because I wish I could love this season past its flaws. However, the writing isn't simply mediocre, it is irrevocably, immeasurably, undescribably bad, so bad I am shocked to my very core, so bad I find it offensive to Sir Terry's memory and everything his own creative output was lovingly filled with.

I am passing all five stages of grief and very much doubt I will return to this fandom. I loved the original story and the characters with all my heart- now the aforementioned heart is broken, not by the breakup or anything as pedestrian as cheap romantic tropes. But because my old friends, my family of fictional beings, are no longer the ones I loved and could relate to.

Deppie out.

#good omens #good omens season 2 #go2 #good omens 2 spoilers #gos2 spoilers #good omens s2 #aziraphale #crowley #ineffable husbands #good omens critical #good omens season 2 critical #neil gaiman #terry pratchett #good omens spoilers #michael sheen #david tennant

[imtrashraccoon]

This one was slightly tricky to write and I spent several days just writing dialogue whenever I was able to lol. Oh well, it's still something I'm proud of.

By the way, I think I'm going to call this "Have Some Empathy, Dear" and I have already started posting it on AO3. Some of you have already found it lol! There's additional lore bits that I'll probably post over there if you're curious.

CW: Not sure if this is needed, but there is some mentions of toxic family dynamics in this chapter. Classic family favorites one child over the other and makes negative comments about them as well.

@owl-bones

First Day & Next Day.

Bad Sansuary: Horror - Romance

Word Count: 2,087

You'd seen Axe a few times ever since the day you met him in the forest. Somehow, he'd figured out where you lived but had completely dodged the question when you asked how. You kind of just let it go after that as it was nice hanging out with someone after a long day of work.

Yeah, a smart person would've avoided the obvious red flags... Not that you weren't smart, maybe just selectively blind.

He seemed to be a genuinely nice guy, despite the mildly unsettling habits he had, like the fact that he tended to stare at you for long periods of time. It was like he had scary dog energy but without all of the bite, at least towards you anyways.

Today was a you day. No errands that needed to be run, no one requiring you to be at work, and no chores to do around the house. It was just you and the latest episode of your favorite historical romance show. The last episode had ended on a cliffhanger and you were dying to see if Madam Fratchurine accepted Duke Von Gossimer's proposal or not.

You were only halfway through the episode, without a clear answer to the 'Will they, won't they?' question, when a sharp knocking sounded on your front door. Pausing the episode with a frown, you emerged from your blanket cocoon to see who was outside.

Taking a peek through the peephole, your mild annoyance quickly evaporated when you recognized the person on the other side. Barely sparing a thought on how presentable you were, you unlocked and swung open the door to greet them.

"Axe! Um, hi! I, uh, didn't expect to see you today..."

He quirked a bonebrow when you nearly stumbled over your words and his smile morphed into one of mild amusement. You could feel how warm your cheeks had grown all of the sudden and glanced down at your socks.

Clearing your throat, you tried to start over. "Sorry, why don't you come in? Although I should warn you that I've been relaxing all day so the apartment might be a bit messy." You moved to the side so he could step over the threshold rather than remain standing awkwardly outside your door.

Axe chuckled and his eyelight briefly flicked past you into the hallway. " 's no problem, i didn't let you know beforehand. sorry about that..." he responded. He nearly had to duck his skull in order to come inside but thankfully the doorframe was still a few inches taller than he was.

You gathered up the fuzzy blanket you'd been snuggling in and quickly folded it up to make the room slightly less messy. While you were at it, you straightened the sofa cushions and deposited your blanket on the coffee table for now.

"heh, i didn't think you'd be the type to watch sappy stuff like this," Axe commented.

"Huh?" You glanced over and realized he'd noticed the still paused episode. "Ah, well... It's a bit of a...guilty pleasure of mine."

He glanced at you out of the corner of his left eye socket with a look that seemed to suggest amusement. You flushed and quickly looked away from him.

"I suppose you could say I'm a bit of a hopeless romantic..." you muttered. "The idea of finding your one and only? It was just a thing I fixated on when I was younger I guess."

"nothin' wrong with that," Axe said quietly. "a lot of folks look forward to meetin' someone special like that. soulmates or somethin'... i don't really care, but i suppose it would be nice. i'm sure it would all work out though."

You nodded slowly, "I guess so... Honestly, I kind of envy how carefree you are about it."

"well, i'm not in a hurry to settle down right now," he responded with a shrug.

He was right in a way. There was no hurry to find someone and you could always focus on your career in the meantime. Although growing up, there was always the pressure to find someone quickly so you could be taken care of and give your parents a couple of grandchildren. It was "The least you could do," your mother had said.

Of course, you'd then struggled with a string of bad relationships ever since getting out of high school. Not only had you gotten attached really fast whenever a guy ever showed you any modicum of attention, but you also weren't great at standing up for yourself. Your relationships never lasted longer than a few months and while you'd since learned what mistakes not to make, you were starting to wonder if you should swear off dating altogether.

"so, uh, other than shows like this," Axe motioned to the tv, bringing you out of your thoughts again. "what else do ya like to do?"

"Well, I read occasionally and have a small collection of fantasy type books. I used to be part of my school's chess club but I haven't actually had anyone to play against in a while."

You glanced around the living room before your gaze focused on two of your plants on the window sill. "Oh, I try to keep a few plants alive but I don't think I have much of a green thumb. I also like to press flowers or colourful leaves in the fall. They make some pretty collages but I have to make time to actually put them all together."

He nodded approvingly and studied the plants for a moment. "What kind are they?" he asked.

You pursed your lips in thought while you tried to remember. "The one on the left is a yellow Cala Lilly and I think the other is called a Christmas Cactus although it hasn't bloomed since last year. I'm not sure why as it has sun and I haven't forgotten to water it." You shrugged and added, "It's otherwise thriving so I guess I'm doing something right."

"can't say i'm familiar with either of those types so i can't give ya any advice," Axe hummed softly. "i'm more familiar with the kinds of plants ya can cook with, like vegetables or herbs."

"Do you like to cook then?" you asked.

"i do," he answered with a slight nod. "it's somethin' i just really enjoy doin' i guess..." His singular eyelight was still focused on the plants by your window as he trailed off.

When he didn't elaborate further, you couldn't help but feel a bit awkward. His tone of voice seemed to hint at a deeper meaning to what he'd said and you didn't know if you should ask or not.

So, rather than potentially making things more awkward, you decided not to ask and instead to talk about something else. "You know, I like cooking as well. Although, I really only cook for myself so I have limited experience."

Well that certainly seemed to make him perk up. Axe turned to actually look at you and his eyelight flicked over you in a way that you thought was him sizing you up.

"limited experience or not, it's still an important skill to know. did ya teach yourself or...?"

You shook your head, "No, at least not completely... I learned the basics from my mother but everything else I had to learn through good ol' trial and error." You rubbed the back of your neck and quietly added, "Granted, it was mostly by error..."

Axe let out a short chuckle at that. There was clear amusement written across his skull once again, yet it didn't feel like he was making fun of you.

"that's good, sometimes the best way to learn is to actually try your hand at somethin'. or at least it's the best way i know to figure things out." He lightly scratched the right side of his skull, although you noticed how his phalanges nearly hooked into the empty socket as he did so.

"Maybe we could cook something together sometime then...?" you asked.

To your surprise, he nodded vigorously and his permanent grin quirked wider at the idea. "sure, that could be fun. 's not every day i have the chance to cook with others."

"Awesome!" you exclaimed and gave a bit of a victory fist pump. Axe chuckled again although it was more natural sounding this time, like he hadn't expected you to react with this much enthusiasm.

This conversation made you remember something all of the sudden that you had to share. "You know what's funny? One of the things my mother used to always tell me was, and I quote, 'You gotta find a man who can at least cook because you certainly can't!'" With an awkward chuckle, you added, "In hindsight though, I realize she wasn't actually joking..."

That had been a bad thing to say apparently. His expression flickered between discomfort and concern before settling on a slight frown. You could feel a familiar pit form in your stomach as you realized that you'd basically stuck your foot in your mouth.

Axe let out a heavy sigh through his nasal bone and couldn't seem to meet your gaze all of the sudden. He shifted his weight from one foot to the other before finally muttering a response.

"your mother probably didn't have a guy who could pass for a slasher villian in mind..."

You felt bad for saying something so forward in the first place as it had clearly made him uncomfortable. So you resorted to damage control in an effort to ease tensions once again.

"Well, uh... I guess you're right... She also told me that drinking coffee stunts your growth, which I know isn't true now, but it still frustrated me when I was younger."

Well that got him to chuckle at least. He patted your shoulder in a way that was probably supposed to be reassuring, although it did feel slightly patronising seeing as how tall he was.

"are ya sure that isn't true?" he asked in a tone that sounded like it was supposed to be sassy, although his deep voice did just the opposite.

You crossed your arms and huffed in annoyance. "It isn't! I don't even drink that much coffee compared to other people..."

"what other things did she tell you? any other gems?"

You frowned and shook your head. "Nothing very helpful... She used to be obsessed with my weight growing up and never kept any snacks in the house. If I ever mentioned I was hungry, she'd just tell me to go eat a handful of almonds or something."

You sighed and dropped onto the couch. Steepling your chin with your hands, you tried to take deep breaths to avoid getting all worked up over what had happened in the past. You felt bad that you'd nearly just dumped a bunch of your own trauma on Axe when he was basically a complete stranger.

The cushions shifted as he sat down next to you. You glanced over at him and rather than annoyance like you'd expected, he looked slightly concerned. You very rarely talked to anyone about your childhood as they never understood and brushed off your mother's rules as well-meaning. He didn't seem to be like any of the others though and you started to wonder if he actually understood you.

"I'm...not on good terms with my family...in general," you muttered.

He seemed surprised if the way his left eye socket widened was any indication. "how come?" he asked quietly. "family's pretty important, at least to me anyways..."

You shook your head slowly. "I really don't want to get into all of it right now... But, the short of it is my mother was basically what some people call an almond mom and my older sister was seen as the golden child. I was basically dirt in comparison to her and my entire family favorited her."

"i don't really understand..." Your heart sank but Axe continued speaking before you could try to explain. "but i can tell this is a sore spot for ya, so i won't push ya to explain anythin' else, okay?"

You gave him a stiff smile out of sheer relief. "I appreciate it..." you responded with a sigh.

In an attempt to talk about something lighter, you tried to change to subject. "Do you have any family?" you asked.

His skull visibly brightened, somehow, at your question and he grinned warmly. "yep, i got a younger brother and he's the coolest dude i know..."

#badsansuary #raccoons drabbles #undertale #horrortale #horrortale sans #horror sans x reader #axe #reader #female reader #oneshot #have some empathy dear

[hollyhomburg]

Before I Leave you (Pt. 39)

 (Omegaverse au, Mafia au, Bts x Reader)

Summary: Tae comes out, you confront jin about the mating marks, and jimin gets a forest sized stick shoved up his ass (not literally)

Pairings: Omega! Reader, Omega! Jungkook, Omega! Seokjin, Alpha! Namjoon, Alpha! Hoseok, Alpha! Taehyung, Alpha! Jimin, Beta! Yoongi,

Tags: Angst, hurt/comfort, Verbal arguments, Shame, Dysphoria, coming out, overly involved metaphors, talk of god/religion, Trans characters, Trauma, implied PTSD, talks of the m/c’s past suicide attempt in chapter 5, talk of sexuality, Pansexual! Jimin, implied autistic! Jimin, meltdowns,

W/c: 7.7k

A/n: Sorry in advance for being a meanie~ (author continues to be not sorry at all~) i will try my best to update next weekend as well so this cliffhanger doesn’t leave you wanting too much

Previous Chapter- Masterlist

(20 years prior, Jimin)

The sun is burning much too hot for the end of September- although the children in the schoolyard would never think to comment on it. Too busy chasing after kickballs like small brightly color planets and shouting ‘tag you’re it!” as loud as they can. Every inch of happiness accompanied by little feet pattering across the parking lot like the first fallen leaves of autumn. The cold hasn’t hit them yet. 

The woods wait at the edge of the playground, an impenetrable fortress of green. Full of spiky bushes and icky things. Here, where civilization is butted right up against the edge of the wilderness, safety is carefully cultivated within chain link fences. Anything to keep the fun in and the fear out.

Two children sit on the swings apart from all the rest. The chains are rusty and squeaky but no less loved. Jimin loves to watch the forest move. He loves to watch the trees blur like faraway monsters dancing, lifting their silvery leaves to the wind and showing their undersides.

Tae knows Jimin likes it so that’s where they always sit, side by side like this at recess.

Although their relationship is not without their exchange, Jimin smiles down at his light-up shoes as he listens to Tae talk. Tae looks handsome as usual in his Pokémon tee-shirt- his chubby face already belying the beauty that he’ll have when he’s older. Jimin can see it, can feel the pitter-patter of his heart in response to it.

He might not know what love is yet, but he’s learning.

Tae sways the way that trees do at a distance, his movements all graceful. He knows Tae will be beautiful when he's older the same way he knows his parents are going to get divorced one day; his mother spends hours in the bathroom, plying and stretching and picking at the barely forming wrinkles on her face.

Aphrodite has a way of letting you know when she’s there, whether in hatred or in love.

Tae has told Jimin the Greek myths time and time again; he likes the tale of Achilles the best. But Jimin can’t read yet so Tae reads to him, Jimin always asks to hear the tale of Orpheus because that’s Tae’s favorite.

Jimin and Taehyung aren’t JiminandTaehyung yet, they won’t be for a few years more. But for now, Jimin watches Tae talk about his most recent book, cupids touch in every little blink.

“And then he just like- pulled him from the dragon’s mouth right before it could snap shut. It was kind of gross to read but I promise Minnie it was so romantic!” 

Tae says it like it’s quite possibly the best thing. Like he’s just said, “I’ve won the lottery” or “I’ve saved the last fruit snack package for you” or, “my mom and your mom said we can move into the same room, we spend so much time with each other anyway, why should we dream in separate places when you are my dream?”

(Although the first is equally as unlikely as the last. Jimin and Taehyung’s parents continue to be a thorn in their sides and only let them have sleepovers twice a week during the school year.)

“You like reading a lot of books like that” Jimin comments, “books where the alpha’s a boy and the omega’s a boy.” Tae’s eyes are mini smiles when he glances up, drawing what looks to be a dragon’s tooth in the dirt with the edge of his shoe.

“Really?”

Jimin doesn’t say anything, doesn’t say what he wants struggling with his words the same way he always does (the same way that has his teachers exchanging pitying glances.)

“Do you like boys?” he blurts, and when Tae looks up, his cheeks are their normal color, not ruddy or pink like cupid might have kissed his skin. Not like Jimin who feels his cheeks flaming. “-Because I was thinking the other day when you asked me if I had a crush on any of the girls in our class, and I- I think I like boys.”

“Oh,” Tae says, “that’s okay, I think I like boys too.”

Taehyung’s mind dips, thinking thoughts of 'he doesn't like girls. But that's okay because Taehyung can be a boy if Jimin wants a boy.’ and  Jimin’s mind gathers up thoughts of omega Tae and alpha Jimin and casts them in a Greek myth. Tae the omega in a pretty purple skirt- back when boy omegas didn’t dress like boys yet. And Jimin hums, satisfied by his daydream.

Later that night when his mother makes him pray (because Jimin’s mother is always making him do that) Jimin asks very very sincerely, as honestly as a 6-year-old can muster.

He perches on the edge of his lightning McQueen bedspread and whispers his small hopes to the heavens above. Starts that shine in all their coldness and give nothing easy to the boy below.

"Dear god. I’ve been thinking; I’ve got in mind some improvements you could make. 

If you have a choice make me an alpha and TaeTae an omega. Whatever you do- don’t make us the same, please. I want to have Tae with me for a long long time and the world has a way of separating things that are the same. So please- if you do exist- make us different."

 There wasn’t anything divine in that little bedroom, but I guess in a wicked way, god insisted.

~-~

(Now, You) 

Sometime later, when the sun has dipped below the horizon and Jimin’s tireless pacing has stopped, you and Tae ready yourselves for what waits outside of the library room.

You stand in the half darkness barely a few inches apart, enswathed in the comfort you steal from each other regularly and know that it can’t last for long. Doomed and Starcrossed. The 8 by 10 walls that have been your safe place to be torn down soon, the resting place for this secret all vacant. 

It’s all operating on borrowed time. After tonight everything will change (and only time will tell if it will be for the better.)

So you wait for just a few minutes more, and spend just a little longer enjoying each others company. You don’t want to let go of this just yet. You press yourself all along Tae’s side to comfort her and she shakes harder when your hands retract from her waist.

(Something about the space has you convinced that’s where your hands belong. You can’t deny that you’re drawn to the inches of honey skin above her hipbones. You have a way of knowing what parts of Tae don’t make her as  dysphoric as the rest. Your touch like a breath of wind to a flame making her burn brighter.)

She pets over the back of your head as you look up at her. Cheek squished against her chest, “Are you sure you’re going to be okay?”

“I think I will be, just-” her hand wraps with yours, her thumb rubbing over the back of it, warm and small and so so important. “Don’t let go, okay?”

“Never,” you promise. 

You give her hand a single squeeze in promise and step forward to open the door (because you know Tae’s not strong enough to open it on her own) letting the light and the noise of tense conversations slip in. Tugging her unwilling form out into the open. 

The pack is stands around the kitchen island in varying positions of distress. Usually by this time of night dinner would be underway; steam would be gathering in a haze above the burners, and half of the sink would be filled with cutting boards (because Jin somehow always manages to use every one of them when cooking). But instead, the light hangs too bright after your time spent in the darkness, the fluorescences stark and the air heavy with the scent of your packmates distress.

Hobi is the only one sitting, head in his hands and his fingers threaded in his dark hair. Namjoon’s hand hovers on his shoulder and squeezes at it lightly, fingers itching towards a scruff. Jin looks like he’s been through it, his shirt unbuttoned and his hair sticking up in the back, far from his usual vision of omega grace and beauty. 

Hobi smells as unhappy as he did the night you almost left; the night where broken glass glittered on the floor where Yoongi stands now. Maybe you should have regarded it as a promise of more to come, but you’ve never believed in omens.

Jimin isn’t much better, twitching with wild jerky movements, anxiety made alive, Jungkook tries to talk to him and calm him down. the omega cups his cheeks, speaking to him in that low happy way that jungkook speaks when he’s nesting, but you can tell just from watching him for a few seconds that it’s having the opposite effect on Jimin. 

Jimin needs something to bite, he’s biting his lip so hard it looks like he’s going to tear through it. Your mate is the first one to notice your reappearance, his head jerking in your direction.  

You and Hobi make eye contact and it darts away as quickly as it came. His cheeks look puffy- like he’s been crying, and the guilt threatens to swallow you like a tidal wave.

It’s a good thing Jimin doesn’t immediately notice the closing of the door, his back to it. His words make you feel winded, “-So they’re mated- no shit.” Jimin says, “I don’t get why it’s a big deal.”

He can be a bit brutal sometimes, words like a blunt knife with the way that his brain makes sense of things. He’s so strung out on worry that his whole body shakes, everything from his knees knocking to his blonde hair trebling, all messed up like he’s been tugging at it.

Jungkook sighs when Jimin’s hands curl around his wrists and he pulls his hands away from his face,  he stands with his shoulders curled in, watching Jimin like he’s waiting for him to break. “We have bigger problems like Tae- He’s-“ 

You shift your weight from one foot to another and Jimin whirls, eyes settling on Tae like she's the first bit of sunlight slipping over the horizon after a long long night.

Jin sips at his water from the sink, every little movement belying his anger. But it's flagging, forced and in-genuine. Jin will have to let it go sooner rather than later but you have more important things to focus on as Jimin stumbles to Tae’s side and the rest of the pack quiets.

“Tae baby- just tell me what’s wrong so I can fix it- is it about the marks-“ his voice goes a little less frantic, a little more measured. He reaches out to touch her and lets out a heartbreaking whine when Tae flinches back from her soulmate's touch.

You never thought you'd have to step between the two of them, but you find yourself doing just that. Hiding Tae from view because she already looks like she wants to dash back inside the library room and hide some more.

Jimin’s eyes flicker down to yours just briefly but he doesn’t look angry about it- no- if you had to pick one word to describe Jimin’s look it would be impressed. But there isn’t space for much else but panic when it comes to Tae’s sadness and Jimin's tireless anxiety.

Maybe it should hurt more, the fact that Jimin doesn’t really care about you right now. (But maybe you’d be a hypocrite if you complained because Tae is also your priority).

Jungkook huffs, “Would you stop hyper-fixating on Tae for a second” and remember that you have 6 other packmates he means to say, but you send him a single withering look. You don’t think that anyone needs to cut Jimin down more, this is hard enough. Jimin barely even turns at Jungkook’s bitten words.

“No, it’s not that. I’ve known about the marks for a while.” (The night you exchanged your secrets holds a special place in Tae's heart. Tae hadn’t been prepared to give you anything- much less the love that burns through her now. But that hadn’t stopped you giving her your all.) 

Tae’s confession makes more than one packmate straighten up, Jin narrows his eyes accusingly but avoids your gaze. 

Tae’s glance down at you is more steadying than you’d ever admit. Makes you feel surer as you square your stance against Jimin. You reach to touch Jimin’s hand, stopping at the last second letting him decide if he wants to touch your right now, after a second he moves to take it, although his worn palms feel clammy.

“Minnie, would you just come and sit for a second? Can we just- can we talk?”

Jimin has eyes for only Tae- but it’s Jin who sighs after a breath, quieting Minnie with a touch to his shoulder. You wish people would stop touching Jimin without asking right now, everything about his body-language indicates someone who doesn’t want to be touch. 

Jin looks at you from under his bangs, not saying a word. The cold hurt in his eyes startles you. It’s not quite detached, but you have never seen Jin so quiet with his sadness before nor have you ever been in a position with him where you can’t offer comfort. 

Every footstep he makes towards the table has your anxiety climbing higher and higher. He pulls out two chairs, the shrill sound of the legs dragging on the wood loud in the quiet, and gestures for you and Tae to sit.

You gulp.

The silence is heavy, punctuated by listless murmurs and the quieter squeaks of the other chairs as you all sit. No one dares disobey the pack omega right now. Yoongi sits on your side at the head of the table and Tae sits on the other. Jungkook takes the other seat beside Tae between him and Namjoon at his usual spot at the other head of the table. Jimin, Hobi, and Jin file in at the opposite side, an impenetrable wall of anxious scents. 

Jimin looks like he's going to jump out of his skin, too much feeling rocketing through his little body to keep still. Next to him, Hobi folds his arms. Jin starts to retort something and start on the mating marks but you interrupt him. 

“What Tae and I need to tell you is more important to you than any of that- I promise. Would you mind just sitting for a second?” It takes no small amount of bravery for you to keep Jin's eye contact even as he glares.

He’s angry, but it doesn’t make him any less in love or proud of you, any other day he'd be beaming to see you stick up for yourself like this, Jin looks away to sate his mounting guilt. Minnie’s knee jumps up and down rapidly under the table, listlessly stimming. Your mate sends you a tiny look, just a furrowed brow in confusion.

Because Yoongi doesn’t know this secret either, this one will be just yours and Tae’s for only a second longer. You straighten your back- begging yourself to be strong- to do this well for her.

You sit at the table in silence for a few seconds and it’s hard not to just come out and say it, to rip off the metaphorical band-aid. The sentence ‘Tae is transgender’ hovers on the tip of your tongue. 

If you ever had to wonder if your love made a difference, it’s now as Tae sits up straighter. She looks like she’s trying to be brave, a girl growing into her thorns. Your knuckles are white with how hard she’s squeezing them.

Jin isn’t looking at you. Jin isn’t looking at you at all and it makes you angry. The overhead lights buzz in the quiet, and Jin’s ire distracts you from your primary purpose in this- which is to help Tae come out.

Your voice comes quieter than you thought it would when you finally speak. “When I first came here- when I first met you all I was so terrified.”

It’s a confession, but not the one they’d been expecting. Your sudden honesty eases more than one tense packmate as you tip your face, closing your eyes to better remember the fear. You’d been so paralyzed the first few times you’d met them. For the first time since finding out about the mating mark Jin looks at you without anger clouding his eyes.

“Terrified that you’d hate me for everything I did to you- what I took from you without even knowing you- that you’d want to hurt me for it- take your pick. You couldn’t count the things I was scared of, but I wasn’t scared that you wouldn’t like me for who I was. That was easy to count on.”

The room is as quiet as a tomb when you look at them through heavy-lidded eyes. Quiet with your anguish because it has never mattered much to you. maybe its a testament to how much love has changed you because Jin’s lack of concern stings as he remains unreadable.

Your eyes lock with his and you lean over the table. “I know you love us but I don’t think you get it Jin, I think you play all high and mighty but you don’t fucking understand. Do you know that I begged Yoongi to let me die? Rather than let him mark me?”

Jin looks away, Namjoon makes a strained noise in his throat- half a growl half a noise of discomfort. Hobi stays quiet. Tae’s hand goes harder in yours. It’s one thing to know and another to hear you say it.

A cold chill settles over the room and no one feels it as strongly as you and Yoongi. “Would you rather that have happened Jin? Because I would have. I wanted to. Yoongi and the mark is the only reason why I'm still breathing." 

“Pup-” He starts, but you interrupt him again, this time it doesn’t get you a glare. 

“If you want to be angry that i’m alive- get in line. But I don’t want to hear it. I can’t-” Yoongi takes your other hand. Smoothing over your knuckles with both of his, Tae tugs her chair closer to yours so that your hips touch. 

Hoseok sits watching you. There is a furious sort of honesty in your face, people don't lie and joke about these things, but you're so factual with it. laying it out in stark terms because to describe how it was with any emotion is to surrender yourself to the flood of it. Hobi knows better than most how unfair it can be, unable to feel what you want to feel.

The memory runs through him- you in the front seat of Jimin's car, looking breakable and worn. ‘Do I really even want this life if it's going to be this way? When it hardly feels like I’m living at all.’ 

You’ve never said it out loud- you’ve never told them of your weakest moment like this. Was it a moment of true weakness? Or one of pure strength? To keep going when everything told you not to.

Everything but Yoongi. 

Jin can handle a lot of things but hearing you say that isn’t one of them, Jin feels like he’s going to cry for every reason and no reason at all. The feelings in him all cut up and finely minced. All the guilt and wanting and hurt a mixed bowl of ingredients with no soup to be added to. Too much love and not enough anger, not like before. Jin feels it melt away as he watches you and Yoongi.

“I’m sorry.” Jin says, inhaling unevenly like he’s trying not to cry. 

He’s never seen you like this before, and the second the words slipped from your lips the same second he wish he’d never reacted. He wishes he’d never found the key to the upstairs, that he’d never thought to be angry at you for this. 

It’s a reminder not to think with your instincts first if anything, Jin reacted without the proper information and although you don’t look like you’re going to hold it against him- he almost wishes you might. But pain can’t always pay for pain, now when you love someone. You hurting Jin won’t make him feel any less guilty. 

Which is why you ignore his apology. 

You still don't know how to think about it, what you almost did. But whatever death brings you doubt you'd have been quite so happy as you are here;

You wouldn't have had the soft kisses pressed to your forehead every morning, you wouldn't know what it felt like to wake up and be safe. You wouldn't have had felt laughter and happiness that built its way into your chest the same way love builds other works of art. You wouldn't have Tae. 

Every minute spent living in this house has been a treasure.

Yoongi’s heart races and he closes his eyes rather than remember the moment. The ache of watching you almost die never stops throbbing in his chest. Yoongi's not sure if it will ever stop hurting or if he'll ever stop feeling thankful that you hadn't tried after. 

That had been your one suicide attempt, Your only one. Although there had been other moments in the months that followed that had made him nervous that you might try again. When the days had stretched with you neither speaking nor eating.  

Acts of desperation like that have a way of sticking to you. A separate kind of trauma comes from something that you do to yourself.  

For a moment- you want to let go of Tae’s hand, the clamminess too similar to how your palms felt tacky with blood. For a moment you’re back there; the smell of gunpowder (it’s unfortunate that Jimin’s unhappy scent smells so similar) and burning blood on the air, a terrible blackness in your chest begging you to lie your head down and just go.

You lift your face, and the light cuts across it jaggedly. “When you guys moved in it didn't take long to realize I wasn’t the only one afraid, once Tae and I started to hang out in the library room-” 

You’re meandering towards the point, but your pain and Tae’s are dreadfully similar. Both of you hadn’t shared this secret because you were afraid it would incur a lack of love.

“It was just before my rut,” Tae says, finally breaking her silence, encouraging you by ducking close and rubbing her cheek on the top of your head in comfort, a small scent mark, “Wait- Do you think that’s what triggered it?”

You huff a soft breath, and even though it feels out of place it is no less sweet when you bump your head into Tae’s shoulder. “Maybe,” you say, though you guess you’ll never know for sure. What if it was the catalyst? Was your love the thing that finally made her body bend to its instincts?

A truck on your street slams its door and it shocks you all making you flinch. Jimin actually growls, turning to the door like he might go start shouting at it.

Namjoon leans back in his chair, his hand going to the back of Jimin’s neck, rubbing over it mindlessly to calm the other alpha down. His legs crossed, jutting his chin out at you as if to say ‘go on pup, you’re doing fine.’

Your heart pulses frantically in your chest and you hold onto Tae’s hands tighter. “It didn’t take long for it to become a habit and we-”

“Can you just spit it out,” Jimin snaps desperately, fear rocketing through him so violently he can't stay still, rocking back and forth like a ship in a storm. “Please.”

Tae's hand a vice around yours, her breath coming all quick and tiny beside you. 

“I’m trying to say that Tae’s a girl, she’s been a girl for as long as you’ve known her and she just didn’t want to say. We started, exploring her gender a few months ago with makeup and clothes and stuff. She didn’t realize that’s what she was- that’s what she could be if she wanted until- until I helped her in the library.” 

(There is none of that shit about being born in the wrong body because it's not just that. To be a butterfly that only looks like a moth, or a flower and a weed. No metaphor does it justice- how it feels to compromise in such a way that betrays your nature. The near daily humiliation that a soul can feel so keenly).

You let go of Yoongi’s hands and reach across the table to try and take Jimin’s, but he snatches them back just as quickly. Tae's eyes are screwed shut, not willing to watch the pack fall apart because of her, unwilling to wait and see the precise way that her pack falls apart with this knowledge. Because of that- she misses the way the whole table freezes-

And then relaxes.

Now that it’s out you can’t stop yourself from rambling, “-And she does want to be a girl, she is a girl- we hid it from you- not because she didn’t trust you but because she just wanted to be sure- And I guess she’s sure now- She didn’t want to cut her hair but she didn’t want to come out yet- which is why it made her sad- and that why she was crying when you came home and-”

"Pup- breathe," you're nearly hyperventilating, unable to disobey Namjoon’s command as you gasp.

The knot between Jin and Namjoon's shoulders eases and the pack alpha actually cracks a relieved smile. (What- with the way that you and her were so knit together- Namjoon honestly expected levels of unintended pregnancy catastrophic. This by comparison, is much easier to mitigate.)

Yoongi’s looking at Tae with fresh eyes, not surprised or shocked at all- just soft with how you glare at all of them, how your face says ‘say anything transphobic and I’ll end you’ without you speaking a word. Even though you and Jimin are shaking like puppies confronted with a vacuum monster.

Jungkook's mouth makes a little ‘oh’ and so does Hobi’s. Jungkook gives Tae a few of his wide-eyed bunny blinks. The anxiety builds, thrumming until a small sob slips past her lips, you remedy it almost instantly winding your body around hers. 

Jimin feels like there's an avalanche falling over him, his skin freezing as the cold truth washes his body clean of warmth, leaving his tongue numb. Brain fissioning, neurons tearing themselves apart as they rewire themselves to account for new information. The very axis of his world shifted a few degrees to make the summers and springs longer and the winters and falls brief.

Tae speaks, because while your words were pretty- they’re not her own. And hearing you say it makes her own mouth feel less vivid with fear. Her eyes remain fixed on your clasped hands. You haven’t let go of them once, just like you promised. 

“Once I really started living with you it was like I couldn’t stop feeling it. It was so painful to see you for those first few weeks.” your cute mouth tugs into a frown, another reminder. Tae wonders if she’ll ever stop feeling jealous of you.

“You got to be pretty and soft in the way I wanted to be, you got to be loved in the way I’ve always wanted to be loved. Dysphoria is- fuck- it’s fucking terrible, and I couldn’t avoid it no matter how hard I tried.”

You’ve talked about it before; you tuck yourself more firmly around Tae like you can banish it with just your body. You’ll never stop apologizing for that- for how you’d made her feel bad just by being you.

But you have nothing to apologize for, because even with the dysphoria you make it feel so much better, so much easier to bear. Tae shivers remembering that her reflection doesn’t look the same as it did this morning, the short and blunt cut edges of her hair hitting the tops of her ears a needle-like reminder. She’ll probably avoid mirrors for a while, she wonders if Jin would let her put something over the one in the bathroom.  

Yoongi stretches out his hand, tentatively taking Tae’s other one. His hands are so strong, but they're still smaller than Tae's. Tae has the largest hands out of everyone in the pack- the ones that are best for holding. But it's not like your tiny palm in his other.

Oh, what Tae wouldn't give to be tiny like you. Even now, the dysphoria rages like a pink-edged storm. The silver lining is all mauve.

Tae finds the same usual smile on Yoongi's face, gentler maybe. “What does it feel like? The dysphoria, I want to understand it.”

Tae lifts your hand, pressing your knuckles over her heart, “it feels like you’re rotting- right here. At best- that’s what it feels like. Like you're dying and there's nothing that anyone can do, nothing that anyone can fix. Or like you’re bleeding out but only you can see it.”

Hobi speaks for the first time, rubbing a finger against his lower lip, “and at worst?” Tae flinches and doesn't answer his question.

Every little pained breath that comes from Tae’s mouth feels like a dagger cutting through Jimin’s viscera, dissecting him. Here take out the ribs first- they’ve grown all strange and gnarled. Why would a thing that loves have grown claws? 

The table falls silent, no one has any words for it, the realization that someone they held so dear has been hurting for so long. Jin swallows back a lump in his throat when he realizes you’re right; this is a lot more important than the mating marks.

Oh Tae. 

To hide this for so long, to hurt for so long right in front of them- Jin’s rarely ever so frantic, to make things right. “Tell us Tae- tell us how to keep you from feeling that way, fuck- I feel like an asshole for not noticing- Is- do you need- What can we do? Please? I-“ he breaks off, for the first time, lost for words.

Tae bites her lower lip, the words all shaky. “I know that this is a lot to hear. I know that you might not- like it as much. I know that I’m not- that I don’t look like-"

Jungkook is ever the mood maker, perhaps sensing how everyone is about to devolve into tears, “Does that mean you’re gonna call them all Oppa now? Cuz thats so cute I might get jealous. Should we call you Taenoona instead of Taehyung or do you just wanna keep the same name-”

You've never scolded Jungkook before, “Koo-”

But Jungkook’s smile is mischievous and lovely, he leans back, crossing his arms behind his head, stretching and flexing them in his black tee-shirt. “You’re all really bad at keeping secrets you know. Every single one of you."

“What are you talking about?”

Jungkook stretches his arm around you to squeeze Tae’s cheek. It blooms pink beneath his touch. Jungkook’s grin is all bunny teeth, boyish and gorgeous. Being on the receiving end of such a grin makes the dysphoria ebb just a little.

“Tae, who does the laundry in this house?”

“You.” You’re all intimately aware of Junkgook’s near dogmatic ritual. How he dumps all your clothes together and then lifts them one by one to sort them, everything but underwear and socks gets sorted this way, because Jungkook loves the pack's scents, loves to almost nest with them in the basement. you’ve found him asleep in a pile of laundry in the basement before. It's a little gross sometimes, but Jungkook's your little laundry bunny.

Jungkook reaches again, to pinch at your scent gland, and you swat his hand away- annoyed. “And do you know who all your new dresses smell like?”

You look back at him so quick it almost gives you whiplash, “You knew?”

Jungkook leans over, nudging Namjoon’s shoulder. “Sucky secret keepers, the lot of them.” 

The pack alpha turns his eyes on Tae then, smiling at her, "I'm so happy you told us Tae, seriously. Thank you for being honest,” It's Tae's turn to be surprised, blinking owlishly at the pack alpha. blushing at the attention. tae lets go of your hand for the first time when she grabs both of namjoon’s, “I know it must have taken you a lot of bravery to tell us this, but I promise we won't disappoint you."

Hobi swallows thickly, nodding in agreement with Namjoon. “So- about the Taenoona thing- is Tae fine? Or I there something else that you want to be called? A more feminine name?”

Tae’s cheeks are two round pink peaches, blushing as the pack alpha looks at her so plainly, barely able to keep herself from smiling, heart thudding with the knowledge that oh- this actually- this isn’t terrible. This is actually going kind of well.

“i’ve never thought about it really, but I think Tae’s better than taehyung, I like being called Tae.” It might have something to do with the way that your mouth moves around that syllable, all pink and rosy cute, that makes something in Tae’s tummy flutter. It’s hard to feel dysphoric about something that sounds so sweet. “It’s not like the hair thing, ‘Tae’ doesn’t give me dysphoria,”

Jin runs his hands over his face,“Fuck, your hair, I’m so sorry pup-“

“S’not your fault Jinnie. You didn’t know.” Tae bites her plush lips. “I’m sorry for startling everyone when I got home.”

“Do you want to dye it? Is there anything we can do?” Jin turns to you, because you’ve been a woman for longer, and you’ve helped Tae with this up until this point and you don’t have to do this alone again. For the first time in your relationship they're learning how to love from you. “Are wigs an option? Would they help?”

“I don’t know, maybe?”

"There's always extensions," Jungkook comments, definitely not mentioning one of his private clients got them caught in an exercise machine once and thats the only reason why he knows about them.

You turn back to Tae, “Do you want to try?”

Jimin’s brain is narrowed down to the one person that has always mattered the most. Blood and love rush through his ears that block out your banter. The wave builds until it bursts. Jimin tries, tries his hardest to speak and hold it back. but things are happening so quickly- when Jimin is still reeling from your words and Tae's too.

“Maybe just, hair dye? Pink might be nice. I think it might help, with the dysphoria.”

"You'd look so cute with pink."

Jungkook tucks his feet beneath his body, "Wait if you get pink hair I might actually want it too."

Namjoon reaches over, running his hand through Yoongi’s blonde mop “you know you could do it like really easily.”

Yoongi shrugs off Namjoon's comment, all plucky and put upon but loving it, “if it will make Tae happy then you can drag me there right now.”

"It could be like- couples colors!"

Jimin’s voice is so quiet, so aching, but no less pained, fingers digging into the table so hard that his nail-beds ache. Tae would hear Jimin’s voice even if it happening in a downpour, thunder and lightning, nothing is quite as earth shattering as ire from someone you love.  

“Why?”

Tae's a little too excited, however, to properly guess at Jimin's question. She tugs at a lock of her hair, staring not at him, but down at your clasped hands with a soft smile. “I think that maybe it’s like- a color thing. I've never been allowed to like pink you know so maybe it’s-“

“No that’s not- that’s not what I’m asking,” Jimin waves his hand flippantly and your mouth hardens into a line. “I’m not asking why, what I’m asking is why the fuck you neglected to tell me this till now."

Everyone around the table stills, the fun, and joy of all of it extinguished in a moment as Jimin watches Tae, his eye swimming with tears, heartbreaking over her.

"Tae- why didn’t you say anything?”

Tae flinches, and you struggle not to jump down Jimin’s throat for his tone alone. Tae’s voice is pleading, and oh

Oh, she realizes, maybe her fear wasn’t all for nothing. Maybe the hope of the last few moments had only hurt her more. Because the rest of the pack is accepting but Minnie-

Minnie's glaring, and it’s a good thing that Tae knows what he looks like when he's about to cry. Jimin's eyebrows knit together like they're gates to hold back the flood.  

Tae lets go of Namjoon's hand and reaches for Jimin’s but this time- it’s the other alpha that declines his touch. Even when Jimin's overstimulated, he can usually handle touches from Tae, but not right now. Now Jimin's skin burns. 

“Minnie you- you like boys. You only liked boys until her. I didn’t tell you because I was afraid that you wouldn’t-”

Jimin holds up a hand, stopping her, “Don’t you dare say you were afraid that I wouldn't love you Tae. Don’t throw my love for you back at my feet over something as simple as fear." Jin's eyes are brown and guilty when they meet Yoongi's, and the beta holds his glance. 

The first time Jimin uttered the words ‘I think I like boys’ was the first time that Tae's heart broke. But child hurts are often adult wounds and Tae and Jimin are bleeding all over the floor with this. 

"Minnie-" Jin begs, Namjoon reaches over to scruff the alpha but Jimin swats his hands away, moving so quickly you would have thought Namjoon’s touch was poison. 

Jimin’s crying, wet cheeks, and wet eyelashes too. “It’s always been you Tae- Do you think so lowly of me that I wouldn’t love you? Is this a joke to you? Am I a joke to you?” the feeling rockets through him so hard that he stands, chair skitters back, falling upended. Your hand goes cold as Tae leaves you.

Tae tries to hold him, to grab him, but Jimin swats her hands away. Crying too hard to see. “Minnie no- I was just- I just didn’t want to tell you yet. I was just worried-”  

“Don’t you dare lie to me Kim Tae-” the second syllable of that dies in Jimin’s throat. “How could you think that I wouldn’t love you? No matter who you wanted to be or what color you wanted to dye your fucking hair!" Jimin can't get his words out around his sobs, near incoherent. "You’ve been hurting for years and you just- you let me hurt you. When that was the one thing you where never supposed to let me do. Love isn't supposed to hurt!”

(That is perhaps the most bitter lie isn't it? That it is the people who love you who often hurt you the worst.)

“Do you remember what you told me when we were kids Minnie?” Tae's voice shakes. “You were always gay Jimin- You always liked boys, so don’t you dare blame me for choosing you over me! Not when you would have done the same!”

Jimin is crying, hands closing and opening rhythmically by his sides. Jin makes to stand and get between them but you shoot him a look. This isn’t a fight that any of you can have for Jimin and Tae. No matter how bad you want to get in-between them.

“Would you have ever told me? Would you have ever told us? If it wasn’t for her?” Jimin’s finger jabbing in your direction makes you flinch and Yoongi's jaw ticks.  

Tae is lost for words. Silent and standing there, unwilling to answer. 

“I see, once you saw me love her you- you-“ Jimin sounds almost sick at the words. That someone he loves has been hurting because of him. All this time, Years and years of pain that are all his fault.

“If you think I wouldn’t love you th-then-“ Jimin’s hands are shaking so violently, and you know a breakdown when you see one. he runs his hands through his hair and yanks. "I love you- you know I love you!” he cries “none of this would change that- no matter what! That's what we agreed on! That we’d love each other Tae- fuck- Tae."

Tae and Jimin have always been cradle to grave. They have always been soulmates. Jimin thought that counted for something. But this isn’t just anything. Tae let herself hurt for the sake of Jimin’s worldview and that is something that Jimin cannot forgive- or at least can’t forgive easily. Tae was always supposed to be both of their priorities. That was their agreement.

Tae’s voice breaks, “You love me yeah? Well you haven’t said it in weeks Minnie.” It’s the wrong thing to say. No allegation would make Jimin angrier than the idea that he doesn’t love Tae to the fullest extent that he’s capable of. 

He's lost for words mouth opening and closing like a beached fish. When they were younger the words used to fall from Jimin's lips as often as rain, but now that they've been together for so long they say them less frequently. The same is true with Jin and Namjoon. Years in love can make you sloppy but Jimin can’t find the words anything other than wounding. 

Jimin’s teeth grind against each other, "People don't just say I love you.”

"They say 'bring your jacket it's cold out’ and 'I made you lunch' before you even say you're hungry, or they know your favorite coffee cup without asking and never take it even though they made the coffee first.” Tae does that for you- you realize. You didn’t think that Jimin had been keeping track.

“People don't just say I love you or just love you as a singular act, they don't skip your favorite song even if they hate it, and they act crazy when you get sick” Jungkook and Hoseok flush. “Or they pretend not to notice when you've got a bit of broccoli stuck in your teeth.” Namjoon huffs. Jimin might not understand this yet, but he does understand love.

“They learn what kind of jokes are your favorite and get better at telling them on purpose- people love you on purpose.” The upstairs room aches with Yoongi's many hours, how many moments of his life has he spent on it? He couldn't say those moments were poorly spent, any moment spent in love is worth it.

“They learn to make a big deal out of the things that are big for you and not to bother when the annoyance is slight because every annoyance should be slight when it comes to someone you love." Jin's arms wrap around his waist tighter.

(People don't just say I love you- they promise things like I will give you smile lines and laugh lines if it kills me, I will carve wrinkles into your face with the force of my love, and hand you a pen when you want to write you name on my heart.)

"They don't just say I love you, they show it. And I’ve shown you it with everything I’ve ever done, every breath I’ve ever taken- so please- please don’t say I didn’t love you enough for you to come to me with this, be honest with me. Because I did. You know I did."

You and Jin share a long angsty look across the table. Your and Yoongi’s hands remain clasped and the omega crosses his arms. Defiant with it- although you never expected him to love you without it. 

There is more to be settled here.

“I love you so much I can't stand it. Maybe if I loved you less I’d be able to think more rationally about this, but Tae- I can't- I can't breathe around how much love I have for you. And maybe that’s why this hurts so fucking much, that I’m so in pain by loving you and yet, you don't believe me. You never did otherwise you would have just said something-"

But instead of agreeing Tae shakes her head, lips screwing into something like a snarl. Alpha aggression is a volatile thing and Namjoon almost gets up to scruff them even though it would be inappropriate. He can’t bear to see them hurt each other like this.

Her short bangs barely budge “knowing someone loves you isn't just trusting them not to hurt you Minnie. I respect what we had, and whatever you want from me now I'll accept- even if it's nothing. I’ve been hurting over this for years That’s why I didn't tell you- I didn't tell you because I know you love me. Not despite it. I’m sorry but I couldn't risk losing you."

“Bullshit-“ Jimin sobs, a wild and broken thing that just about wrenches his heart clean out of his chest. Tae’s love has always made Jimin human and now he’s nothing but something wriggling and miserable. Slimy in his sadness, unwanted at its core.

“Bullshit- Tae- I’ve never- I couldn’t-”

One second the emotion is rocketing through him bright as a comet and the next, Jimin goes so still it's frightening. Like a supernova, one moment all the mass in the universe spread out and the next it has narrowed down to a single point of anger and pain.

If Jimin had a heart, he’d remove it and leave it at Tae’s feet. There is no use for Jimin’s love if Tae doesn’t want it and is committed to miss-understanding it. there is no Jimin without tae. 

Tae pretends it doesn’t hurt when Jimin walks away. 

He passes by her without even a brush of her hand or a goodbye kiss. Tae pretends her heart doesn’t break as she watches him grab his coat and walk out the front door, grabbing his keys too. She pretends it doesn’t hurt that he doesn’t look back, that she’s left in the kitchen with the warm yellow lights cutting wounds across her face.

6 other people in the room, and the only one that she wants to comfort her right now- gone.

He leaves her standing there by the center island, alone like a ship in a dark sea, the last light winking out. It's not worth it, It's not worth being a woman if it means I don't get to love you, I'll take it back, I'll take it back if it means you'll still love me. 

The front door slams shut.

~-~

(Next chapter Coming Next Saturday September 24th at 5pm EST)

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#bts omegaverse au #bts a/b/o #bts x reader #bts poly au #bts gang au #bts mafia au #bts polyamory au #bts au #bts fluff #bts hurt/comfort #bts werewolf au #bts angst bts omegaverse fic #bts hybrid fic #min yoongi fic #kim namjoon fic #kim seokjin fic #kim taehyung fic #park jimin fic #jeon jungkook fic #jjk #pjm #myg #knj #kth #ksj #jhs #jung hoseok fic #min yoongi x reader #kim namjoon x reader #kim seokjin x reader

[strategicallyignoringmytodolist]

Here's my S3 theory. (I'd be thrilled to hear yours as well.)

I am writing this now so that when S3 finally drops in 24 billion months or whatever, I can look back at my notes and feel very smug and smart. Or laugh at myself for how wrong I got it.

My point is, dolphins. Or rather-- that terrible yet well-written cliffhanger:

At the very very end of S2, as Aziraphale was going up the elevator to Heaven, I'm pretty sure he knew he was going to have to work under cover to prevent the end of the world. Certainly after watching the recordings of Gabriel and what happened when HE protested, Aziraphale would realize that the bureaucracies of Heaven and Hell were determined to get to a final battle.

The Second Coming, from what (admittedly minimal amounts) I've read of it, doesn't have quite as many plot points as the arrival of the Antichrist. Jesus is supposed to show up in a burst of dramatic weather, all the humans who have ever lived are going to be immediately tossed into Heaven or Hell, and... That's about it? (I was actually raised Catholic, but I didn't pay much attention in Sunday school, and as an adult I don't really interact with religion. This isn't my best trivia subject, in other words.)

Anyway, at some sooner-rather-than-later point I think Aziraphale is going to decide to let all the angels and demons who want to fight it out with flaming swords have their go, and he is going to focus on preventing everyone else from getting hurt while that happens. Maybe the final sorting of goodies and baddies is going to involve processing all of humanity through some massive portals. And maybe Aziraphale is going to use his new position of power in Heaven's bureaucracy to change where the portal exit point is. There have been sooo many references to Alpha Centauri in the first two seasons, and that's presumably where Beelzebub and Gabriel went at the end of S2. I bet they would be willing to help with portal setup and receiving refugees on their end.

I'm not entirely certain what Crowley's role will be in S3. I can totally picture Aziraphale coming to him and saying, "Let's run off to Alpha Centauri together, only I've got several billion humans I want to bring with me." Maybe Crowley will have to help with portal setup down in the basement offices of hell. Or maybe he will need to convince Jesus to join Team Save Humanity (Crowley was friendly with Jesus once upon a time and did show him all the kingdoms of the world, after all.)

I think there are going to be some funny bits with the Nazi zombies from past seasons and all the other people who are being raised from the dead.

In the original book, Adam said that Heaven and Hell were a lot like his gang, the Them, and their rival gang, the Johnsonites: They were always trying to beat one another, but it wouldn't be any good if one of them actually did win. Having a rival gives you something to do, after all. I don't think there can ever be a final resolution between good and bad. They're kind of like death -- baked into the system. It's going to be a stalemate.

I also suspect that God is playing a many-layered game. All the demons and angels are helping to judge and deliver consequences to humans for their use of free will. But maybe God is watching all the angels and demons to see whether they understand that being on a team doesn't mean that you can't make your own moral decisions and act outside the party line.

Ultimately I think the battle will end and the human refugees will return to Earth. Our favorite supernatural couple will buy a flat with a garden somewhere, and that's where the story will end -- in a garden, just as it began.

#good omens clues #good omens season 3 #good omens #neil gaiman #argue my point #what do you think? #crowley #aziraphale

[paldeanbooper]

Getting to Know Me!

I have been tagged by @radiosummons thank you very much 💝

1. Are you named after anyone? Yep, an actress! Can’t say who tho-

2. When was the last time you cried? Idk, i think yesterday? Rewatching a kid show…

3. Do you have kids? Hell no.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot? Absolutely, it’s all i do-

5. What sports do you play/have you played? Too many to count, favourite one is football

6. What's the first thing you notice about other people? Im not sure, i think i really notice their posture and their tone, dunno why tho

7. What's your eye color? Green

8. Scary movies or happy endings? Im not a big fan of scary movies but not much of a fan of happy endings, i think i just like cliffhangers that end in a continuing series so i don't get bored of shows-

9. Any special talents? Im the best English student in all of my year and im really good at binging stuff, got through Ted Lasso and Stranger Things in, like, a week or two-

10. Where were you born? Somewhere in Aus

11. What are your hobbies? Writing, Piano, Dance, Reading, Watching TV, Gaming, etc…

12. Do you have any pets? Two kitties, drops of heaven that dropped onto hell for a second

13. How tall are you? Dont judge- 4’8

14. Favorite subject in school? PE, English, French (sometimes), PSHE (cuz my form tutor lets me do whatever during that lesson), some others.

15. Dream Job? Author or Psychologist or something else, might change-

Dont rlly know who to tag but heres a few! @why-is-my-house-on-fire, @heenr12, @charliebugz, @nonbinarytrashpanda, miladies @mumza-superiority and @noelle-the-bitch, @moonkachu, @a-radio-d3mon and hopefully this makes it’s way to the famous @toxiccrybabyart and @astrolavas!

Love your posts, peoples! Byeee 👋

#gettingtoknowme #getting to know me #this is me #i wished there would be a tiny bit more personal questions but i liked this overall! #please dont send this back if you dint want to tagged people!

[alm0ndla1t]

༘⋆ - YOU’VE GOT MAIL.

༘⋆ FT :: xavier thorpe x fem!addams!reader

༘⋆ TW :: mentions of the word ‘dead’ once, angsty content (??). some lines from the show are used

༘⋆ SYNOPSIS :: you did your all to hide xavier’s parting gift from your family. who would’ve thought the object of your desire would become known to them so soon…

⊹ ⋆ﾟ꒰ఎ ♡ ໒꒱ ⋆ﾟ⊹

I get caught red handed as the foreign, high-pitched sound of a message notification fills in the pause of a family discussion during dinner. I freeze, accepting my fate as the center of attention as we sit in dead silence. I always liked my solitude and the quiet, let alone words and things beginning with ‘dead’, but this one was making me nauseous, and not in a good way. This is where it ends. What a drag. The taste of my favorite dish or my father’s neverending stories of his years at Nevermore could not have made it up to the void I felt inside of me.

I slide my right hand into my pocket slowly and imperceptibly, disabling the sound of my phone. I see a familiar contact name as my phone screen lights up. Xavier. Of course it has to be him. Oh the place and time. Brushing off the brim of emotions that overwhelms me, I take the knife and the fork back in my shaky hands and force out a few words of explanation that my parents deserve.

“My apologies, perhaps bringing a phone to a family function wasn’t the best idea. Will note for next time” I end up murmuring indistinctly with a fake smile, looking down at my plate in humiliation. My eyes then anxiously wander across the room, examining my family’s faces. Everyone is eyeing me back in utter confusion. That, however, doesn’t stop my mom from engaging into the conversation furthermore, as she puts the napkin back on her lap.

“Y/n, darling,” she said softly. “Would you mind explaining how you happen to possess the soul-sucking electronic device of meaningless affirmation in the first place?”

The question was expected and I should’ve came prepared - no one in the house knew about Xavier’s thoughtful gift to me, except for Wednesday, of course. The alien and humbling feeling of excitement, mixed with admiration, has overfilled me to the point where confessing to my sister on the spot was inevitable. The timing was especially right, as next came the unsettling messages from our stalker that we’re yet to decode.

“It was a parting gift from my friend when I left Nevermore for this winter break” I clarify blandly, making eye contact with my mother. My train of thought, which was more a contemplation of my eventful life anyway, was cut off by a voice at the end of the table.

“Does the friend in question happen to be the handsome young man from that one time at the Nightshade library?” Uncle Fester asks frisky and somewhat mockingly, stuffing his mouth with salad.

I am in the beam of spotlight once again as the family is left on a cliffhanger. Hurts to admit, I overreacted. This is where it ends. My ego are pride are shattered in a million pieces. Who knew that the terrible loss of a subjective self-identity of a heartless, disastrous hellbound teenage girl would come so soon.

Hastily picking up the food on my plate with a fork, I utter the following in a grumbly indistinct manner, trying hard not to blush. “Yes, it was him.”

My parents meet each others gazes as they smile. They let me rest from the discussion for half a minute, murmuring sweet nothings to one another, and just when I begin to think my blaze of glory is finally over, my mom picks the conversation up again.

“So, mind telling us more about it? What is his name?”

“Xavier Thorpe.” Wednesday shot back before I was even able to respond. Perhaps the complete disgust of the ongoing discussion has pushed her to my rescue, hoping to end this nightmare as soon as possible.

My mother hums in approval and continues the love interest trivia, raising her brow. “He’s Vincent Thorpe’s son, isn’t he?”

“Wait, what?!” Pugsley says at the edge of his seat, excited from overhearing his favorite psychic’s name.

“Yes, yes he is. I am not sure as of where me and Xavier stand and I would appreciate it if you give me some time before we talk about this again” I let out a sigh as I finally say what’s been on my mind. “For now, excuse me, I have to go. Thank you for a wonderful meal.”

I get up and make my way upstairs, to find some peace and quiet in my bedroom. Laying on my back and staring at the ceiling in complete despair, I pull out the phone from my pocket after some time, checking the messages.

“Hey! I was thinking of asking you out for coffee, how does that sound?”

I am doomed. So doomed.

#xavier thorpe #xavier thrope fanfic #xavier x y/n #xavier x reader #xavier thorpe x reader #xavier thorpe x y/n #xavier thorpe x you #addams!reader #addams reader #xavier thorpe x addams!reader #wednesday #wednesday fanfic #xavier thorpe hcs #xavier thorpe headcannons #xavier thorpe imagine

[totaldramafan-lauri]

EPISODE 6

N-no Alastor again......

......

.....OK, so....this episode needs multiple viewings for me to.....fully absorb everything that just happened......but......uh......I-I don't wanna just not say anything about it, so....here goes.....

-OK, fandom, you got me. You called it. Vaggie was an angel. Wasn't exactly the most surprising twist imaginable when everyone and their mother called it, but it was cool to actually see it. Th-the fact that she got her name because a misogynist named her was probably the biggest twist for me here, cuz HOLY CRAP, it makes so much sense. XD I remember when people used to haaaaaate Vaggie's name.....I-I honestly used to raise my eyebrows at it before I got used to it. That's neat.....

....But if there was one thing I DIDN'T call, it's Charlie not knowing. I legit thought she already knew. They were so close, and they've been a couple for years before the show, so I thought that already happened. B-but I....I LIKE this direction? I-I love Chaggie already, don't get me wrong, they're like the M&M of this show for me.....b-but their relationship has always kinda been....swallowed by the....EVERYTHING ELSE in the show around them. I-I'd love to see them get center stage! Will that happen, or will it just get brushed over? Dunno....but....either way, this cliffhanger KILLS ME just cuz I wanna know what happens next for them!

-NO ONE IN HEAVEN BUT SERA AND THE EXORCISTS KNOW ABOUT THE EXTERMINATIONS. PLEASE leave all your "Heaven is evil, what's the point of the hotel" complaints at the FLIPPING DOOR! We got a breakthrough! Yup, I never bought it for a second. The Exorcists are only ONE type of angel! There was no way they represented ALL of Heaven! The whole point of the story was that it's not a black-and-white conflict! If the whole story was just "Hell good, Heaven evil", what would be the point of that? You think the writers are THAT dumb?

Sera....seems to be the one in charge of making the decisions, but she's not evil, she's just doing what she thinks is right for Heaven. I'm pretty sure her mind can be changed. And Emily is so so so much like Charlie that them singing together was satisfying as heck! Adam and Lute are the clear bad guys here....

I love the confusion of "How isn't Angel rising to Heaven?" and how it kinda parallels to how Adam, who was once human, is still IN Heaven. Just cuz they're dead, doesn't mean they can't change. Vaggie had her wings torn off and fell. That could be Adam by the end of the show. But, what about someone in Hell rising to Heaven? Not even the angels have the answer. Because they're not evil. I LOVE that.

-Speaking of Emily and Charlie being alike, yeah, that second song was INCREDIBLE! Do I like it more than "Hell Is Forever" (which I've been listening too soooooo much over the week)? That's a high bar, so I dunno....but I love how this song is a follow-up to it, and it's very climactic.

-AUSTRALIAN CHERRI HECK YEEEEEAAAAA!!! Angel standing up to Val in....in only their....second episode together? Uhhhhh, aren't we moving too fast- I mean HECK YEEEEAAAA!! Drunk Niffty HECK YEEEAAAAA!!! More Huskerdust on the side HECK YEEEEAAA!!!

.....The running gag with Sir Pentious killed me. XD His obvious crush is so cute. Definitely a highlight for me. Better luck next time, dude.

-But yeah....my favorite thing about the episode (besides learning that Heaven isn't evil) is the Vaggie thing. I'm REALLY on the edge of my seat to see how this goes! Oooooo.....I-I'm so nervous! Obviously Charlie's not gonna be MAD, but....OK, maybe she'll be mad? But she won't STAY mad....I-I can't believe I'm looking forward to drama between those two....They've been so wholesome.....but I dunno, I wanna see a story about them, I guess....

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel spoilers

[natverse]

smoke signals

request: wandanat watching reader doing some stuff like playing video games or watching fav show and look really excited and happy about something and they just feel so happy to have r in their lifes so they give her so much hugs and kisses and r really surprised but she still tell them that she loves them too really a lot and just so much fluff

…

summary: as adopted!reader excitedly sits down to watch the new episode of her favorite show, wanda and natasha reflect on how lucky they are to have a daughter like you.

author’s note: apologize for this taking so long for me to write, it’s not great but i hope you like it anon. so sorry if it’s a little emotional 😣 this is also lightly based off of smoke signals by phoebe bridgers !

pairings: mama!wanda + mama!nat x adopted daughter!reader

warnings: basically none, this is just pure fluff. there are gendered terms used (girl).

—

grabbing your bowl of popcorn from the microwave, you dashed into the living room, shaking out of pure excitement. almost completely ignoring your two moms peacefully sitting on the couch, deep in conversation it seemed, you snatched the remote and scrambled to switch to your favorite channel on the tv as you squeezed in between the two of them.

“woah there, what’s got you so excited sweetheart?”, natasha giggles, playfully rubbing your shoulder. “it’s been a whole week since i’ve seen this show, and there’s a new episode tonight. you wouldn’t believe the cliffhanger i got left on, i need to see this.”

you feel two pairs of eyes glued to your smiling face, burning your skin with their stares. “sorry, did you two want the tv? if you did you’re just going to have to wait, i can’t wait any longer to see this,” you joked, mouth full of burning hot popcorn.

wanda lovingly runs her hand through your hair, natasha still rubbing your shoulder. “no no, we’re alright. you’re happy, and that’s all that matters to your mom and i,” wanda says softly, lips forming a smile. “also, let that popcorn cool down before you eat it. i wouldn’t want you burning your mouth.”

wanda and natasha, as much as you wish they were, were not your biological parents. you knew you had a number of dreadful memories before they’d adopted you, but you were never able to quite recall them; making so many unforgettable memories with wanda and natasha seemed to push all the bad away.

you were completely zoned out, forgetting about the world around you. somehow you’d completely forgotten about your favorite show playing; except, this was almost better. you couldn’t help but think about all the happiness your moms had given you. the love they had given. they had swooped in and saved you.

for just a brief moment, you were lost in the depths of happy memories; until natasha snapped you out of it.

“hey, y/n,” she said gently, turning to face you completely. she stretches her free hand across your body to grab wanda’s, her deep green eyes staring into yours. “your mom and i… we’ve never been so lucky. this family we’ve built, this beautiful, smart girl we helped to raise. you are our everything, y/n. and we will spend the rest of our lives proving that to you.”

for the first time in your life, the pool of tears welling up in your eyes weren’t out of misery or despair, but rather happiness. you shifted your gaze to wanda, who was still playing with the ends of your hair.

she gently pulls you into her arms, placing a kiss on the top of your head. “we love you, more than you could ever know y/n.” you couldn’t help the tears falling out of your eyes as natasha crawled on top of you, wrapping her arms around you and wanda.

the three of you didn’t move an inch for at least an hour, simply enjoying each other’s comfort as a family. “you know, you two are sensitive,” you joked, still fighting tears. “and i didn’t even get to watch my show. when i’m cranky tomorrow, you’ll know who’s fault it is.” no response from either side.

furrowing your brows, you looked at each of your moms; as you suspected, both sound asleep in your embrace. you let out a soft giggle, tucking your head back into the comfort of wanda’s chest.

you felt that same feeling of happiness from earlier crawl back into your brain, consuming your thoughts entirely. your eyes slowly shut, as you finally drifted off to sleep. you were so lucky to have natasha and wanda as your forever parents, and you wouldn’t have traded them for a thing in the world.

#wandanat x reader #wandanat #mama!nat #mama!wanda #natasha romanoff x reader #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff au #natasha romanoff x daughter!reader #wanda #wanda maximoff #natasha romanoff #wanda maximoff x daughter!reader

[chainofclovers]

Ted Lasso 3x11 Thoughts

I have to write my thoughts down right away this time.

[Please don’t hate me if calling TL a rom-com is your favorite thing but] I’ve always felt like Ted Lasso isn’t a rom-com in the traditional sense where a protagonist finds love with an “opposites attract” kind of person and it ends right as they’ve decided to be together. Because the rom-com structure can be brilliant for what it is, but it’s all about the build-up, the whirl of questions and magic that gets you to one perfect moment of clarity. Ted Lasso is a kaleidoscope of people, all learning from the light reflected off the others. People within its world fall in and out of love, but the “movie” isn’t structured entirely around a single love story between two people. And I like that, as much as I have strong feelings about the potential for romantic love in this universe. Because a lot of times, when I watch a rom-com, I can’t quite picture what will happen to the characters who have fallen in love now that they’ve cracked the code of getting there. But, of course, what if Nora Ephron wrote a sports film? (—Jason Sudeikis.) As soon as this ep ended, my wife said she loved that this very Ephron-filled episode rather aggressively tied up a lot of loose ends all at once, with a lot of rosy moments and schmaltzy dialogue and the kind of magic that exists in a romantic comedy, revised to be about sports. Which are actually about life. Or whatever.

I appreciate that structure a lot, but even more than that I appreciate that the Ephroniest episode of this show is the penultimate one. I assume—or at least, I very much hope—that now that they’ve tied up so much and hurtled these characters so rapidly towards the close of the scene, the finale will have some breathing room to be a bit more real and more messy. I hope that it still feels like closure for this story, but I also hope that it’s open enough that we not only trust that all these people will still have lives, but will actually be able to imagine them.

It’s kind of funny how much the ending to this one felt like a cliffhanger even though I’m certain Ted is going to tell Rebecca he’s going to need to leave at the end of the season. A neat trick for the rom-com ep, cutting off the two protagonists right before their moment of clarity. Because of course Ted is already clear. And I would have HATED Rebecca’s so-self-aware-the-fourth-wall-was-quivering speech about the truth bomb if it weren’t for Ted so clearly having something to say, and if it weren’t for how casual and almost careless she is about being down in the office simply because it’s on-schedule. I mean, this woman was in no way able to handle it when Higgins merely suggested rethinking Ted’s role when the season was going badly; I’m really curious how shaken she’s going to be when he tells her, and how quickly she’ll get to acceptance. 

For all that I loved the flirtation with rom-com structure, and the big sports movie messages, and all the very intense interpersonal dynamics (Ted and his mom! Beard and Nate! Roy and Keeley and Jamie loose in Manchester! Even the ten seconds of Bex and Ms. Kakes showing up at Rebecca’s doorstep!), there’s also a big part of me that’s just aching, though, because I just love Ted and Rebecca and Ted&Rebecca and Ted/Rebecca so much. And even though their connection would never be a rom-com romance to me—because their connection is forever, and their connection has already taken so much good work, and that’s as it should be—I would love to watch them fall in love in a romantic way (if not a rom-com way). That still of them watching the movie together was sooooo lovely and soft and framed with such perfect movielight that I just feel wistful. But Ted is right about You’ve Got Mail not quite being his favorite story. It’s Sam’s rom-com, and I would have even liked the little glance between Sam and Rebecca as Sam feels his own wistfulness if it weren’t for how much I just wanted to see that promo still come to life.

(The absolute bullshit of shipping wars notwithstanding, I feel like even among the sensible non-warring people there is a camp of seeing no romance between T/R and a camp of seeing romance in everything between T/R, and I’m just. In neither place. I have seen a lot of their connection points this season as full of the potential for some kind of realized love, and I think many of the things they have said to each other and done for or with each other have a comfort and familiarity that could flip nearly instantaneously into a romantic and sexual love. Also, aren’t rituals kinda kinky anyway? And their whole relationship is based on rituals? 

It’s so weird; I don’t think I’m delusional, but I could still see them having a huge moment in 3x12 and in fact am certain there will be one, I just don’t know what it will mean to them. But I will never be like “I’m clowning again” when it comes to this shit because the ingredients are literally all there, and I guess they can make whatever cake they want, and I’ll unclownily respect it while continuing to see what I see.)

Other stuff: 

Ted’s mom added some cutesy pillows and kitchen stuff to Ted’s flat, right? I think it’s interesting that her ultimate message was that Henry misses Ted and that he can’t be scared of parenting him, but in the lead up to that truth she was doing stuff to populate his living space in London more fully. I’m curious if that was the equivalent of the cute animal videos he referenced in s1, when she’s trying to work up the courage to talk about something real, or if it was something about a parents’ desire to make their children more comfortable even if they screw up, or if it portends something more complicated on the horizon w/r/t Ted’s relationship to “home.” 

I loved Becky Ann Baker’s performance so much, and I thought Jason Sudeikis played off her incredibly well. There is nothing more irritating than being irritated by someone whose worst qualities are the exact same as your worst qualities. And when Rebecca and Beard and Higgins and the entire team just adore Dottie, it’s just so…of COURSE THEY DO. It was so good.

I think this show has something very frustrating to say about forgiveness and I think maybe there needs to be a different word for this concept they keep invoking?! I’m certain there are interesting philosophical and theological beliefs about forgiveness and how it’s not really about willfully becoming okay with someone who has hurt you but more about freeing yourself from how horrible it feels to be trapped by how that person made you feel. And I think that is what Ola advises Sam to do when thinking about the bigots who trashed him publicly and trashed his restaurant, and I think that is what Ted advises Jamie to do when he suggests how Jamie reframe how he feels about his dad. I don’t think either conversation is intended to minimize the horrors of what has happened, and it feels like the intention/vibes/overall care for the person receiving the advice/outcome in each situation is “correct” in that both Sam and Jamie end up finding the conversations helpful. But something about forgiveness as a concept just feels like they needed to invent some new word or contextualize the old word better or something.

When Jamie’s mum takes his side about his hair being walnut haze OH MY GOD.

Genuinely thought Keeley and Roy were fully back together last episode and I think Rebecca also thought this, LOL. I am unsure what I even want to happen at this point. I mean, obviously Jamie/Keeley/Roy should ride off into the sunset together. So I guess I do know what I want to happen.

Beard backstory! Ted and Beard backstory! I am so, so glad the Ted and Nate reunion didn’t happen in the Ephron ep. I am so, so glad Beard showed up and gave something of himself and grew as a human being a little bit. I’m glad that Nate did not send anyone any groveling tomes, and that this continues to be a story about forging and reforging connections rather than the economy of redemption. 

I’m sure there’s more, but I’m fuckin’ exhausted. Until next time, so long, farewell. (HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.) 

#ted lasso #ted lasso meta #meta by me #ted lasso s3 spoilers #ted x rebecca #hot dork club #ted lasso 3x11