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rogersideup · 29 days

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｡°✩ ♊︎ The Gemini♊︎ ✩ °｡

Chapter 8

Twinkles

Series Masterlist

Previous part: Little Birdie Next Part: True Romantic

Word Count: 7,072

Warnings: My blog is 18+ only. All minors or blogs without an age in bio will be blocked. Minors DNI.

A week and a handful of days was exactly how long you actually made it into your two weeks before you found yourself with a mind just as hectic and busy as it was the day you left the compound. But the only difference now was that it was you and your thoughts back on an empty road on the way back to the compound.

You figured that processing your feelings and settling back in at home might've been good for you. Maybe being back in the environment that caused all of the physical and mental injury would help move the healing along faster, help you make amends and tie up all the loose ends you needed in order to really solidify your place in such an environment.

Plus, you still wanted to talk to Bucky again. You needed to bury the fight for good. And Steve... lord knows you still have a lot to figure out between the two of you... and Bucky. Okay... there was still a lot of figure out with the three of you.

The road was so dark and almost lonely with the lack of traffic happening at 10pm on a weeknight. For some reason, not even your playlist or the almost freezing temperatures outside competing with your car heater was distracting your brain from the only thought it could conjure up, which was to call Steve.

You didn't know why you wanted to talk to him, or even what to say, but your fingers even pulled up his contact on your car's display just in case.

It was already late, and you had no reason, but you couldn't stop thinking about him. Wondering if he was already asleep, you took the leap of faith and pressed call.

Your intuition was right, because before you could even press call, Steve's name popped up on the little screen and your car informed you that he had called you first.

"Hello?" You spoke, eyes glued to the open road.

"Hey, Bug." He spoke back, voice deep and raspy as if he was half asleep. "What are you up to?"

"Funny you should ask, I was literally just about to call you but you beat me to it." You told him with a smile, well aware he couldn't see it.

"Oh really? What's wrong?"

"Nothing! I don't know why I wanted to call you, but my brain was telling me I should." You explained. However, you could recognize now with the sound of his voice that there was something going on with him. He sounded sad, or maybe frustrated and definitely tired. "What's going on with you?"

"Funny you should ask" A very fake and lazy chuckle sounded. "I'm miserable at the moment, can you tell?"

"Just a little." You lied. He definitely sounded miserable. "What happened, Stevie?"

"The stupid heater in my apartment isn't working and it can't get fixed until tomorrow." Steve started. "I'm exhausted, but no matter what I do I can't fall asleep because I'm so fucking cold. I was going to ask Bucky if I could sleep at his place tonight but I saw Nat's location was in his apartment so that flew out the window."

It took a slight moment to figure out why Steve was complaining about the temperature when he was usually the kind've guy that could put up with anything. But when it clicked, you felt a billion times worse for him.

You remembered a few times Steve has confessed to you that he can't stand the feeling of being cold.. 66 years of being stuck in ice will do that to a person.

Though he had no memory of all of those long years, his brain seemed to hold onto what he felt during the first few moments of the plane he crashed straight into the arctic.

So every time Steve found himself alone in the cold, he swore he could feel his skin sting. His heart would race no matter how hard he tried to get it to slow down, it felt like the floor would start dropping below his feet, and the entire time he was waiting for pain that never came. The longer he stayed cold, the worse it would spiral.

Your eyes darted to the time displayed in your car, 10:54 pm. Then they read the outside temperature, 36 degrees Fahrenheit.

"That sounds awful, I'm sorry" You pouted. "You have my key, why don't you sleep at my place?"

There was a deep sigh through the phone line, and a few moments of silence as he contemplated what to say next. "It's okay. I'm actually not even too sure why I called you, I think I'm just trying to calm myself down."

Your pout deepened and your heart cracked. "Steve"

"Hmm?"

"Go sleep in my bed." You commanded.

"It's fine, Bug. I just wanted to talk to you. Why does it sound so... rumbly?" Steve tried to change the subject.

"Oh, because I'm driving right now." You explained. "Im using my phone's Bluetooth to turn on the heater in my apartment for you so it'll be nice and toasty when you get there."

"It's so late, why are you driving?" He asked.

"I'm actually on my way home right now." You explained keeping it vague, he didn't know which home you were referring to. "Is 73 degrees okay?"

"Bug, I can't." Steve denied, sounding remorseful.

"You can't what?"

"I can't just accept your kindness like this."

If you didn't know him so well, you almost wouldn't be able to know just from the sound of his voice that he was on the verge of tears. But i in this case, you probably knew him better that he would've liked. "Like what, Steve?"

"I still feel so bad that I hurt you." Steve explained, practically in a whisper. He was thankful you couldn't see the way his hands were shaking or the way he had to breathe through his mouth because of how fast his heart was pounding from the sheer amount of anxiety coursing through his nerves. "I can't just go seek comfort from you and invade your space after what I did. That's not fair."

Now, you felt like crying too. "We already talked about this. We can't keep holding onto what happened or it's going to make us both miserable."

"So you're still feeling better about it?"

"Since the last time I saw you? Absolutely." You reassured him. "What can I do to help you feel better right now?"

"This is more than enough." The statement was filled with the most confidence you've heard since answering the phone.

You knew he was seeking any sort of validation that you didn't absolutely hate him, so you tried your hardest to butter him up with some truthful vulnerability "I miss you"

"I miss you too." He agreed, letting his eyes fall shut. "Any chance I can see you again soon?"

You smiled, but he didn't have to know that. He also didn't have to know that you had a 35 minute ETA back to the compound. "I'm busy tomorrow, but how about Saturday?"

"Saturday works great." He declared, still miserable but he tried to be enthusiastic. "You're coming back to the compound on Saturday?"

"Yep, I'll be there." Again, not a lie. "What do you want to do on Saturday?"

"Sleep? Take a nap? Watch a movie? Take a nap while we watch movies?"

You laughed at his suggestions. "That sounds great. And what are you going to do right now?"

"Hopefully sleep and take a nap and sleep some more."

"Think some warm thoughts?"

"I wish I was a marshmallow on a stick." He mumbled.

"Love you lots, go sleep in my room."

"Love you more, no." Steve denied again. "I'll let you go now. I think I'm starting to feel a bit better."

"You think or you know?"

"I'll only know once I hang up."

"Well if you don't know, just call me back, okay?"

"Okay. Thank you for talking to me, drive safe." He didn't want to hang up, but he also didn't want you to think he was being clingy or dramatic so he decided to cut the conversation short. "Will you let me know when you get home?"

"Sure thing. Think about the marshmallow!"

A very small smile tugged at his lips. "Goodnight, Buggy."

"Sweet dreams, Stevie."

The phone-line ended and your music started again. Much like before, the road was still lonely, and you were still unable to get your mind off of Steve. Maybe even more so now than before the phone call. But there was nothing much you could even do for him from the middle of the highway, so you sang along to your playlist that was playing a bit too loud, and tried your best to ignore the uncomfortable sting settling in your lungs as anxiety took over the closer you got to the compound.

That anxiety only worsened as you pulled up, and parked in your reserved spot. You flung your bags over your shoulder and walked through the lobby to get to the elevator and up to your apartment.

The luxurious smell of the building, the sounds of the automated doors and buttons, mostly everyone walking around in their designated uniform, and all the familiar faces reminded you of the really dark place your mind forced you to live in for the long weeks before you left.

Your apartment was no help either. Dragging your feet through the living-room and into the bedroom made memories of all the hours you were stuck in bed flood back so fast you felt physically nauseated. The tossed around blankets over your couch and your bed left unmade was nothing but evidence of how fast you left the compound in the first place. As if you set out on an emergency mission to save yourself.

Luckily you had a perfect excuse to not linger for too long on your own, so you dropped your bags in the corner of your room before making your bed and let your legs carry you over to Steve's place.

After making your way all the way there, and taking a big deep breath to brace yourself for whatever was about to happen, you slid his key that you never gave back to him into his door.

Then, a voice appeared practically out of thin air. "Oh wow, never thought I'd live to see the day Rogers has a girl sneaking in" Tony commented as he walked right past you in the hallway.

"This is definitely not what it looks like." You denied Tony's remark with a shake of your head, but he didn't stick around long enough to even explain yourself.

You stuck to rolling your eyes as you entered his place. It was odd being in his apartment after so much time away, but it was exactly how it always was. Immaculately clean, decorated well, and it smelled subtly like his cologne that you loved so much.

Though you wanted to stop for a moment to reflect, it did little to keep you from walking straight to his bedroom door and opening it slowly as to not scare him.

The first thing you noticed was that his TV was on and playing a movie you didn't recognize, but it provided enough light for you to see the lump hiding beneath the covers. How you still felt the overwhelming sense of comfort you always did when you'd sneak into his bed during the sad and lonely nights. Then, you realized how cold it actually was in his apartment. The longer you were there, the more the chill in the air seeped through your clothes and raised bumps on your skin.

You couldn't tell if he was sleeping or not, but you walked towards him slowly regardless. Then, the blankets tugged around him tighter. The smile on your face spread when you realized he was awake and hiding from what he assumed was Bucky.

"Not in the mood, Punk." Steve mumbled.

A giggle escaped you as you sat on his bed. "Rude"

You watched as his head poked out just for a moment. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion before he let out a little sound of complaint, and pulled the blanket back over his head.

"Hey! Where did you go?" You questioned, smile stretching wider.

He mumbled out a statement you could barely understand, but you did catch the end. "....... liar."

"What did you call me?!" You questioned, faking offense.

There was no response other than a little laugh so quiet you almost missed it, so your hands weren't shy to grab onto the lump of muscles and anxiety covered in a pile of blankets and shake him around playfully. "What did you call me?!?!" You asked again with a giggle.

This time, he poked out just the top of his head and his stupidly beautiful big blue eyes. It was painfully obvious that he was hiding a smile despite his misery. "I called you a big fat liar" he sassed.

"I told you I was on my way home." You defended yourself with a performative gasp and your right palm straight over your heart. "I never lied!"

"I thought you were Bucky!" Steve continued, still hiding most of his face. He was thankful that the hoodie pulled over his head helped hide his messy hair.

"It's pronounced Buggy" you smiled.

"What are you doing back here so soon?"

"Stop asking so many questions, I'm here to rescue you." You enthused, but it earned another groan and the blanket back over his head. "Wow, you're really going to make my first mission back a difficult one huh?"

More gibberish grumbles sounded from underneath the blanket pile. Even if you asked him to clarify the meaning of his babbles, you knew he was still going to be unwilling to cooperate.

"Fine, you leave me no choice." You huffed while standing up from your spot and kicking your shoes off. Then, you grabbed hold of what you assumed was his shoulder and his waist, then pushed with all your might to roll him over from his back and onto his side.

Laughter he was trying his hardest to contain slipped past his lips when he heard your sounds of struggle. "I'm offended that you're huffing and puffing up there."

"Oh, so now you're speaking crystal clear?" You noted, taking in a deep breath after moving the dead weight of a super soldier. "Sorry for the huffing and puffing, didn't realize you were made of pure muscle and uranium. If I did, I would've warmed up a bit first."

"Uranium?" Steve questioned still sounding miserable, still hiding from you.

"The heaviest element on earth" you clarified, lifting the corner of the blanket pile on top of him before sliding into his bed. "It's a compliment on your big strong muscles, Stevie, don't get it twisted."

"What are you doing?!" His head lifted in confusion as you got into bed with him, under the safety of his blanket fort, and started curling yourself behind him.

The front of your body was against his back, your legs tucked behind his, and your arm wrapped around his waist to hold him nice and snug before you put your chin to his shoulder and propping yourself up a bit so you could see his face. "Providing you with the love and warmth you need to feel better, isn't that obvious?"

His big blue eyes opened to look up at you for just a moment, and when they met your gaze his stomach filled with butterflies and an undeniable blush warmed his cheeks. Then, his pretty eyes gleamed with that familiar twinkle that made the corners of your lips tug upwards.

You were so much braver than he was, because before the big blow out between the two of you, a friendly snuggle here and there was no big deal. But now that you knew the extent of his admiration for you, he didn't know if he would ever find the courage to touch you again. It was too high stakes, and way too nerve wracking for him to risk. Because if he tried his hand at you and fumbled his chance, he'd never forgive himself.

You found that hesitance to be obvious, but sweet and endearing. Much like you found his reactions to your actions to be even sweeter and more endearing.

The 6'4, 250 pound weapon of a man was nothing but putty in your hands now, and that did a number to your capacity to fight off your own repressed feelings for him. If he was putty, then you were melting like a snowman on a summer vacation. Neither of you stood a chance against each other, both of you were letting your walls fall not only down, but also apart.

Steve squeezed his eyes shut so hard that his whole face scrunched up, and let his head hit the pillow once more. "Why am I the little spoon?"

"Because I know you well, Stevenson" Your smile widened.

"What is that supposed to mean?!"

"You have the most obvious little spoon energy of any person I've ever met before." You explained. "That's not a bad thing, it's just a fact. Are you not loving this?"

"That's a trick question" He huffed in complaint before nestling closer to you. "You're so warm."

"See? That'll make you feel better soon. And now you don't have to be alone, so we can take some nice deep breaths until our anxiety floats away... but of course if you hate this too much I can just leave..."

There it was. The biggest relief to Steve's mind and heart... your sassy and sarcastic spunk was starting to shine back through you. Though he still felt like pieces of yourself were lost, the smallest pieces of you were a victory to him. If he was just a little less anxious, he'd find it within himself to bounce off of your sarcasm, but right now he just needed his mind to be less busy.

Steve shook his head shyly. "I really don't hate this."

"See? So just relax." You reminded him as you settled in and let yourself fully lay down behind him. "You're so tense."

"I can never get myself to relax when I'm cold." He explained to you. "It feels like I'm waiting for something that never happens."

You could read between the lines of his words. He was waiting for a plane crash, a physical feeling of pain that he associated with being so cold.

"Nothing is going to hurt you, Stevie." You reminded him gently. Of course he knew that, but sometimes anxiety lies to brain if its victim. Sometimes a small reminder is all you need.

"I know." He agreed with a small nod, trying to get his hands to stop trembling.

"You know it's 42 degrees in here? I read the thermostat on my way in."

"Feels like it" Steve complained.

"My place is a toasty 73."

"That's lovely." He mumbled. "M'happy for you."

"You're so stubborn." You huffed, shoving your face between his shoulder and neck and placing your hand over his heart.

Steve gasped in fake offense. "Don't go searching for my heart rate! That's personal!"

"It's going pretty fast there, Bestie." You smiled, feeling it thunk against your hand before removing it from his chest and sliding it up to his shoulder so you could squeeze him just a little tighter.

"You're not helping, Bud" He admitted, trying his hardest to contain his feelings for you from oozing out through the very loose seams of his heart. The way you were squeezing his body against yours with such a lovely and gentle pressure was not helping it stay in place.

"It's pronounced Bug." You joked again. "It's obvious to me that you're still harboring a lot of guilt and that's half the reason for your anxiety right now, so we're going to stay like this until we talk it through and your hard head softened up enough to realize that I love you, and it makes me sad that you're not feeling great right now."

Steve audibly whimpered and shoved his face into his pillow, hiding away once again. "I just feel bad."

"We've already been over this. All is well."For a few moments, you had a new found sense of guilt. It felt like you had gone way too far in punishing him when it felt as though he was already punishing himself far more than he deserved. "Misunderstandings happen, arguments happen, fights happen, but it's just how the world works and it's a testament to how much we really care about each other. If we didn't care to have each other in our lives then there would be nothing to fight for, right?"

Still in hiding, Steve gently nodded his head.

"I've known you for how long?" You asked.

"Nine months" his muffled voice responded from somewhere between his face and the pillow.

You smiled. "How many days a week have I seen you in those 9 months?"

"Almost everyday, except for the last few weeks" He pouted.

"That's 279 days we've spent together and after every single one of those days, good or bad, I've still chosen to see you, or talk to you, or even think about you. And all of that, all of this has led us to right here, right now. You know why?"

Another grumpy grumble only fueled your fire to complete your mission of soothing the anxious soldier. "Hmm?"

"Because love is unconditional." You stated confidently. "And I can't let anyone I love be somewhere that's making them miserable. That's why you let me go, right? You gave me a chance to leave the compound."

Again, Steve nodded.

"And that's why I can't let you stay here tonight." Your hand squeezed the top of his shoulder. "...are you convinced yet?"

Suddenly, his head popped up "I like hearing you talk so I'm just listening while talking to work up the courage to get out of bed."

Your giggle sounded like heaven so close to his ear as you propped yourself up behind him again. "I had two more tricks up my sleeve, do you want to hear them or are we all good here?"

"I want to hear them"

"Okay the first one was that I was going to use our rooms as metaphors. We could stay here together and be uncomfortable and cold, or we could be cozy together in my warm fuzzy bed but we have to choose to move on."

"So deep and philosophical" Steve grinned. "The second one?"

"Oh the second one is cheap bait. I was going to tell you I have a family size bag of m&m's on my kitchen counter."

"Is that the truth?" He raised an eyebrow, looking back at your face to search for a bluff.

"The whole truth, and nothing but the truth." You confirmed.

"What kind of m&m's?"

One word to seal the deal, you knew it would get him up out of bed and straight into your apartment. "Mini"

"Get off of me, I have important business to attend." Steve joked with a very gentle sense of urgency, shrugging you off of his back.

You let him go and felt a sense of pride when the big beefy soldier got out of bed to follow you.

"Emergency mission?"

"Very important" he agreed, trying not to wince as the cold hair hit his skin again.

"Then put some pep in your step Rogers, we've got a mission to accomplish!"

He giggled and followed you through his room, into the living room and nearly out the front door before he passed a mirror and stole a glance at himself.

Strands of wild blonde hair were sticking out of the front of his hoodie pulled over his head. Socks on his feet, sweatpants, and the very obvious sleep deprivation causing redness under his eyes was not his best look.

"Oh wow, hope the hallways are clear because I'm going to scare people if they see me like this" Steve laughed at his reflection, getting his slippers on his feet.

"Maybe people will start treating you like you're human if they see you in something a little less business casual." You smiled, feeling happy that you got to see the usually put together soldier in such a state.

"I'm accepting it for what it is, because there's no amount of brushing or product in this world that would be able to fix my hair right now." He shrugged, following you out of the door and into the hallways.

"It's cute, you can pull it off."

No longer being able to hide his blushing cheeks from you, he bowed his head to the floor and trailed behind you all the way up to your apartment. His eyes stayed glued to the floor even as you unlocked your front door, he took that moment to fill his lungs with a big breath of air to try and snap out of the anxious daze he was in.

But as the door swung open, a big wave of warm air washed over his body and you took a step aside to let him in first. Only when he stepped into your warm living room did he feel like he could actually breathe again.

The floor felt a little more stable, his legs a little more steady, and the world seemed to have stopped its crashing and burning.

As you locked the front door and kicked off the shoes, Steve looked at your couch and suddenly felt a whole new wave of anxiety over the memories replaying in his head of that very night everything changed all because he sat in that one spot on your couch.

Then he thought of the last time he was here, the anxiety and gut wrenching guilt he felt as he trudged up to your apartment after nobody had seen you for a while, the way his heart dropped into his stomach when he found you asleep in your be-

"Stop thinking." Both your hands reached up and squeezed his shoulders from behind him. "Go to bed."

Immediately snapping out of it, he chuckled at the way you knew him so well before dragging his feet into your room, kicking off his slippers, and burrowing himself underneath your blankets this time.

You walked in a few moments later, bag of m&ms in hand, and a content grin on your face and warmth in your heart at the sight of Steve in your bed. He was already lying on his stomach with his arm above his head, and his head tucked into the ditch of his elbow.

After placing the bag of chocolate on the nightstand, you pulled the blankets over his back and sat next to him.

"Nice and warm?" You asked him, left hand rubbing small circles over his shoulder blade.

"like a marshmallow on a stick" his sleepy voice sounded.

"Cozy?"

"Mhm" Steve nodded.

"Like a bug in a rug!" You enthused, earning his laughter. "I'm happy you're here, Stevie."

"I'm happy that you're here." He turned his head to look at you, big blue eyes twinkling just for you. "A big part of me thought you'd never come back."

You let out a sigh, not being able to come up with much of a good reason why you came back. "Just felt like I had some unfinished business I had to take care of."

"Does that mean you know what you're going to do?"

You knew he was once again asking about your choice in quitting, staying an agent, or becoming an avenger, but you still couldn't quite get the insecure voice in the back of your heart and forefront of you brain to quiet down yet.

"Yeah, but I'm not going to tell anyone until after it's official so nobody tries to get me to change my mind." Your lips pressed together, contemplation turning your smile into a contemplative grin. "So right now I'm going to take a shower as fast as I can so I can get back to the blondie in my bed, then after that I'll probably lay awake all night wondering if I even know how to make good choices for myself."

"Wow, not even me?" Steve faked offense.

"I didn't even tell my Mom" You reassured him. "But I have a meeting with Fury in the morning to make my decision official so, you'll know tomorrow."

"So we're both going to be lying awake all night?"

You chuckled. "No, because I can tell you're exhausted and I already know you're going to fall asleep the second the second I stop engaging you in conversation."

"You're so mean." He smiled, eyes still wide and twinkling.

"Tell me about it." you agreed. "Are you going to be okay if I go shower really quick?"

"Mhm, I'm a big boy." He nodded.

"Okay big boy, you go to sleep, and I'll be right back" You squeezed his shoulder before getting up.

Steve was quick to let the exhaustion close his heavy eye lids, and he focused on emptying his head of it's constant racing thoughts. He listened to the sound of your drawers opening and closing, then the bathroom door closing behind you.

The sound of the shower turning on and the flowing water helped provide some comfort as he realized he finally felt safe and warm again. A lazy smile unintentionally spread across his face when your music followed, but it was playing so low he could barely hear it. One thing he knew about you was that you had to listen to music through completing any task, and you loved to share that music with everyone around you. But right now, it was quiet in consideration of him, and that was far more touching to him that you'd probably ever assume.

But that was just the effect you had on Steve, every little thing you did was so endearing to him and he just couldn't help himself for falling into you as if you were a trap perfectly designed to capture him.

Thoughts of you consumed his mind now, so much so that he slowly started slipping into a dreamy state, that was until not even two minutes after you had left him the bathroom door had opened again and he heard you walking around your room once more.

Assuming you had forgotten something, he paid it no mind. That was until your footsteps approached him, and he heard your voice whispering.

"Stevie?" Your voice was calm and gentle, and the shower was still running. "You still awake?"

"Yeah" his eyes opened again, and eyebrows furrowed in curiosity.

"Sorry, I just- I was thinking about our phone call earlier" You started before sitting down next to him again. "It's just not fair so I didn't want you to fall asleep before I had a chance to tell you."

"Not fair?" He questioned sleepily, forcefully blinking to keep his heavy eyes open.

Your nervous tight lipped grin told Steve everything he needed to know. Maybe it was just the lighting in your bedroom, or perhaps anxiety and exhaustion making him hallucinate but he swore he caught a slight blush on your cheeks.

"I can't help but to feel like maybe some of the anxiety or negative feelings you still have are because I haven't given you enough reassurance, and I'm sorry." You tried to read his expression as well as he was reading yours, but you picked up nothing but exhaustion and relief. "You know how much I love you, right?"

A small grin took over his lips and he let his eyes close in contentment, feeling a little too tired and comfortable to keep them awake anymore. But he nodded nonetheless.

"You know that your friendship and support has been a pivotal part of my career and personal growth, and I'll be loyal to you no matter what we go through?"

"I do now" he nodded again.

"Remember how I said we can explore the cute little twinkles in your eyes when things settle?" You started. "You know that's not just because I'm comfortable with it, but because I like you too, right?"

His eyes snapped open and eyebrows furrowed as if you had just set off a bomb in the bed he was sleeping in. "No, that was not made clear."

Steve swore his cheeks got so hot he could feel his heartbeat pulsing through the skin.

"Okay, well now it was!" You said with a calm and enthusiastic attitude that he could never even dream of achieving if a confession like that just rolled off his own tongue. "Glad we had this talk, I'm going to go take a shower now."

He was in pure disbelief as you stood up and walked away. "No insight on that? No further explanation?"

"You're really tired, don't want to bore you with the details." You shrugged with a playful giggle.

"I'm never going to sleep again" He said louder as you got further away.

"I don't believe you! Besides, the shower is running and I don't want to waste water." You pointed out. "I'll be right back!"

The bathroom door closed behind you, locked, then your faced scrunched up as your silently screamed and danced like a teenage girl. That locked door also gave Steve the space he needed to whimper into his elbow and mourn the person be was before his knowledge of your feelings.

You had simultaneously killed the man he once was, and birthed a new version of him. One whose thoughts were far more insufferable than the last, with approximately 4 billion questions to interrogate you with, and also less and more anxiety at the same time.

As promised, you showered quickly and changed into a loose t shirt and tight shorts you worked out in occasionally before making your way back to your bedroom. Tossing your dirty clothes into the hamper, you quietly turned off your bedside lamp leaving the room dark and slowly got into bed where Steve was, now laying on his side facing the middle of the bed.

As you got under the blankets and settled in next to him, you noticed he had taken his hoodie off leaving him in a shirt with his pretty blonde hair to be crazy on its own accord. Feeling happy that he was finally warm and content, you let your head hit the pillow, your body facing his as well.

You couldn't tell if he was asleep or not, but you didn't pay it much mind. Happy to be back with your best friend and in your own bed, time slipped away from you as fast as your conscious.

Unsure how much time had passed, an undeniable cheeky smile spread across your lips when Steve's heavy forearms reached out to you and planted itself on your waist. His touch was tentative and very experimental, your smile widened as you could feel how hesitant he was to let the full weight of his arm rest on you.

To applaud his bravery and encourage good behavior, you placed your hand on his forearm to welcome him to relax and maybe even come a little closer if he felt like it. But he immediately ripped his arm away.

"...sorry" he mumbled quietly.

You reached over to grab his wrist and pull his arm back to right where it was before deciding that you needed to be brave for him. So you moved your whole body closer to his, pulled his arm around you, and you put your arm around him. "I was trying to pull you in, not push you away."

"Sorry again" he chuckled lazily.

You could feel his body relaxed as you tangled your legs with his, and snuggled your face into his chest. How he always managed to smell like a slice of heaven was beside you, but you were happy to reap the benefits.

Tightening his arms around you and nestling his chin into your hair, he felt like there was nothing that could ever get him to give this up. There was no emergency in the world that could pull his mind away from the happiness and comfort he felt in your embrace. Really, nothing was going to hurt him.

"Comfy?" He asked you, voice deep and raspy.

"Snug as a bug in a rug." You confirmed, making him giggle.

"Sweet dreams, Buggy."

"Goodnight, Twinkles." You said, knowing he would hate the nickname you had thought of.

"How dare you" He complained regardless of being able to hear the smile in his voice.

"Sorry, Twinkles. It's stuck now. Nothing I can do to change it."

"If you insist"

You internally celebrated the win. "Love you."

"Love you more."

As the night fell and the morning rose, Steve didn't remember a single thing. He slept like the dead, and woke up in pure bliss the next morning.

He wasn't sure he had ever been so comfortable in his entire life. The two of you weren't really cuddling anymore, but your sweet little face was still facing him, and your arms still held onto each other while your bodies drifted and sprawled out to their own contentment.

Gentle morning light, your calm and gentle breaths, he could've stayed like this forever.

He looked around and noticed you were sleeping on your tummy now, one of your legs were hiked up so your knee was against his thigh, and you had kicked most of the blankets off of yourself in your sleep. Though the heater was on and he wasn't concerned about you being cold, something caught his eye and piqued his interest.

The back of your shirt hiked up and exposed some of the skin on your back. Steve had seen you in a sports bra countless times before, even naked once, but the difference was now your back was covered in a big scar.

He frowned for you, knowing that there was a permanent reminder on your body of the asshole who went out of his way to make your life a living hell. It also left him wondering what his body would look like if it allowed him to hold onto every scar and mark obtained from battle.

Then, your stupid alarm went off and had to ruin everything. Steve tried his hardest not to curse the universe for taking this moment of peace away from him as he grabbed your phone to turn your alarm off.

He gently shook your arm until your pretty eyes blinked open.

"Time to wake up, buggy." He sweetly smiled at you.

You groaned before shoving your face into a pillow. Now it was your turn to be the dramatic one. "Says who? You can't make me"

"Says Fury, your meeting is in an hour." Steve reminded you.

"You make some good points" Your giggle sounded, poking your head back out. "Good morning, Steven."

"Steven?" Steve questioned with an eyebrow raised in confusion.

"Yeah, short for Stevenson!" You said matter of factly, prying yourself out of bed and swinging your legs over the side of the mattress.

"Oh right, my full name." Steve agreed with you with all the seriousness in the world. He would stop the world from turning just to entertain your humor.

"Mhm, it's on your birth certificate." You nodded. Still sitting on the edge of your bed, you started thinking about the day ahead of you. "Hey Twinkles, I have a question."

A smile stretched across your face as you could hear his sigh at the nickname that definitely wasn't going anywhere anytime soon. "How can I help you, bug." Steve's tone unenthusiastic.

"I just realized I never got my new suit back, so what am I supposed to wear to a meeting with Fury?" You looked back at him fast enough to catch a sneaky smile on his face.

"Oh there is a reason you don't have that back yet, but you don't need it just to see Fury. Wear something nice-ish, you'll be fine."

"And what would that reason be?" You questioned, finally standing up and stretching out your back.

"I guess you'll find out today." Steve shrugged, still laying down, still feeling lazy.

"You boys are exhausting to be around" You joked while disappearing into your bathroom.

Somewhere between you humming along to your music, and your footsteps around your apartment, Steve drifted off again. He wasn't necessarily asleep, but he wasn't really awake either.

Time and space didn't exist in this subliminal place, he was just happy to be around you again. It was the first time since your initial argument together that he had felt truly peaceful, and he intended on soaking in it.

...that was until you threw a pillow at him.

"Hey!" Steve complained, opening his eyes to glare at you. His heart nearly dropped to the floor when he saw how pretty you looked. You had perfectly styled your hair and put on a full face of makeup, while also donning a business casual outfit that suited you perfectly. Out of habit, Steve tried his hardest to hide the fact that he was having heart palpitations. "You are so mean."

"That was payback!" You explained. "I'm leaving now."

"Are you nervous?" Steve asked, trying to get a read on your emotions.

You watched as he finally got up out of bed. "Not really. Should I be?"

"Not really." Steve shook his head with a polite smile. "Should I be?"

You shrugged your shoulders as he approached you. "Not really."

"Good. Then all is well." He opened his arms for you, and you accepted.

Ugh. You even smelled just as good as you looked.

"As much as I'd like to stay here and hug you forever, I don't think Fury would appreciate it if I was late." You smiled against his chest.

"I think he would be mad at me too" Steve agreed with a chuckle and let you go from his arms. "Any chance you'll tell me your career choice right now before the meeting?"

"No, but I'll tell you when I get out" You giggled.

"Far enough" Steve didn't want to push you. "Good luck, Buggie."

"See you later, Twinkles."

Next Part: True Romantic

Tag List: @saranghaey @firephotogrl74 @selella @talesofadragon @ss28 @nekoannie-chan @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory @spikeluv84 @crazyunsexycool @callmissrogers @xxxalicerogersxx @whore-for-chris-evans @em8rin @mulbsstuff @qalijahbydior @awkotaco24 @buckybarnessimpp @nicoline1998enilocin @buckystevelove @rogersbarber @mybuck @dbnightingale24 @ynstark @sincerelytlh @alexakeyloveloki @mrsevans90 @smhnxdiii @claralovescaptainamerica @hisredheadedgoddess28 @bigtreefest @whiskeytangofoxtrot555

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sei-rq · 1 year

Text

Headcannons on Pervert!Bachira Meguru (NSFW)

[A/N]- Megs is so possessive here, he is manupilative asf,these might've been the filthiest headcannons I've ever written,sorry not sorry.

Pervert!Bachira Meguru who knows you through a mutual friend (Yoichi <3) and when you both first meet you instantly hit it off, little do you know that he's not as nice and innocent as he makes himself appear to be.

Pervert!Bachira Meguru who ends up getting your contact and social media info after you both first meet because "I'd love to make more friends! after all any friend of Isagi is a friend of mine!" but that statement is just partially true because he just wanted your Instagram ID so he could jerk off to you at night.

Pervert!Bachira Meguru who hasn't been able to get his mind off of you ever since you both met, but hey those pictures he took of you when you weren't looking are still locked away in his camera roll if he misses you too much.

Pervert!Bachira Meguru who hugs you when you both meet again saying he is really excited to hangout with you, acting all innocent! when he really just wanted to feel your tits and how soft they are

Pervert!Bachira Meguru who takes you to the beach as a first date just so he could see you in a bikini and sneak some pictures of you in said bikini.

Pervert!Bachira Meguru who actually genuinely likes you! not just for your body though, your body is just a bonus, he likes how innocent you are and how easily he could break you apart.. so cute so fragile..

Pervert!Bachira Meguru who puts his hand around your waist to guide you through crowded places, you think it's cute and how sweet and caring he is! it just gives you butterflies.. but he does that because he wants to feel you up and this is the best way to do so without making it seem weird.

Pervert!Bachira Meguru who steals your first kiss when you both have a sleepover, You're completely unaware as you're literally sleeping, oh [Y/N] how dumb can you be trusting someone so easily and letting your guard down so easily? you're really pathetic aren't you.. he'll have to make sure to protect you from other people, after all he has already marked you as his..

Pervert!Bachira Meguru who touches you everywhere, during said sleepover.. he even ends up leaving a hickey on your neck, which you're confused of when you wake up. but his excuse is "Must've been a bug, quite a big one at that! does it hurt? are you okay?" you really are a bimbo, because you believed every word he said, after all why would Meguru do that? he's your friend! he would never!!

When you both start dating, he can't keep his hands off of you, kissing you all over, touching you all over, because he's your boyfriend so why not? Pervert!Bachira Meguru, will have his way with you without you even realizing it

Lastly he gaslights you into having your first time with him, saying things like "I understand if you don't want me to be your first, I know I'm not deserving of it.. I really am not a good boyfriend or a good friend am I?.." Pervert!Bachira Meguru.. is a very good manipulator.. because otherwise you would have noticed all the off putting things he has done before you both started dating.. no normal friends do stuff like he used to do..

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cowgurrrl · 1 month

Note

Ok I have fluff angst idea…Charlie is pregnant and freaking out about telling Joel because she is kinda young. And Joel is mad, scared, excited , crying and also grandpa Joel?!

Hello why did this make me tear up

April, Come She Will

Pairing: Joel Miller x fem!reader

Author’s note: it’s canon to me that reader and Joel live to be 100 and nothing bad ever happens to them ever again

Summary: The next generation of Millers find their way [3.6k]

Warnings: teen pregnancy (what’s new for this series lmao), arguing, language, call backs

Charlie's been acting weird for the past few weeks. She's been coming in and out of the house at strange times, not showing up for patrol, and giving you vague answers about where she's been. She's nineteen now, so she doesn't necessarily need you and Joel breathing down her neck all the time, but you still like to know where your kid is. She tells you she's been with Ellie or her boyfriend, Eric, which is fine. You like Eric. You just wish she would spend a little more time at home.

Charlie and Eric met on patrol. No matter how much you tried to dissuade her from joining the patrol team, she wouldn't listen. She had watched you guys go out and defend Jackson as she grew up and even talked to Ellie about her adventures outside the walls. She knew how to ride a horse, and Joel taught her how to handle a gun. The intention was never to "train" her for patrol but to be prepared in a worst-case situation where she needed to protect herself but the second she was old enough, she signed up. She got paired with Eric, a sweet boy her age she went to school with, for her first patrol, and that was it. They've been together ever since.

Joel was hesitant when they started dating, but you reminded him she was an adult and could make her own decisions. Eric was somehow more hesitant when Charlie invited him over for a family dinner. Eric grew up hearing stories about your family, and his dad occasionally worked patrol with Joel, but knowing him by proxy is much different than sitting across from him at the dinner table. Joel promised to be on his best behavior, but poor Eric was terrified any time Joel asked him a question. Since then, they've gotten a little closer, but they are by no means buddies. You're a little nicer.

All this runs through your head when Eric trails behind Charlie into the house. It's a Saturday, and you and Joel are off patrol, sitting next to each other on the couch. You were supposed to go see Ellie and Dina, but they rescheduled for next weekend without much explanation as to why. JJ might've gotten in trouble. At seventeen, he has more of Ellie's wild personality than anything else. It's a little fun to watch her try to handle a younger version of herself.

"Hey, can we talk?" Charlie asks, a slight tremble in her voice. You look up from your book, and Joel leans forward to drop his wood carving knife on the coffee table. She and Eric sit across from you, her leg bouncing anxiously when she does, and you glance between them. You're a little confused as to why Eric has to be here for this, but she's clinging to his hand so hard you almost worry she's gonna break it. Worry claws at the back of your throat, but you swallow it down. Whatever it is, you can handle it.

"Sure, bug," you say. "What's up?"

"Um, so there's something I've been meaning to tell you, but I wanted to get some things squared away before I did because I didn't want you guys to freak out or anything. I understand this is a really big deal, but it's under control, and we have a plan." She explains rapidly, and Joel chuckles as he removes his glasses to rub at his eye.

"You ain't pregnant, are you?" He asks, and Charlie is silent. That's when you feel your heart drop to the pit of your stomach. Your mouth goes dry, and you sit up, staring at her like you're waiting for her to say she's joking. "Charlotte," Joel says, his tone even and scarily calm. "You're not. Right?"

"I'm sorry, Daddy," she says, tears shining in her eyes. "But we… we have a plan. We're gonna get set up in a house, and Ellie's gonna lend us some of JJ's old things, and we're gonna pick up some more shifts before the baby comes. It's all gonna be okay."

You can't help but feel like you set her up for failure, not only with your own teen pregnancy but with your inability to keep her safe. In the old days, you might've been able to put her on birth control or give her condoms when she started dating, but those things aren't on the top of the list for what little FEDRA manufacturing is left. The best "safe sex" talk you could have with her is letting her know her options if she did get pregnant or sick. You hated it, but there wasn't much else you could do. And now look where you are.

"Mom, can you please say something?" Charlie begs as Eric rubs her back. You thought you'd be prepared for something like this with your and Joel's (and Ellie's) family life starting earlier than most. Instead, you find yourself, possibly for the first time ever, sympathizing with your mother. You pull yourself together enough to open your mouth.

"You wanna have this baby?" You ask, and she nods.

"We already decided. We're not gonna get married or anything yet, but yeah, we want this baby," she says. Eric doesn't say anything. You figure that's probably smart. It's only a matter of time before Joel freaks the fuck out about the fact that he got your baby girl pregnant. "That's why I went to Ellie's the other day. I was talking to her, Aunt Dina, and Uncle Jesse about when they had Jay." She says. You try not to be offended that she told Ellie before she told you. You told lots of people before you told your mom you were pregnant. Still, you thought you and Charlie were closer than you and your mom were.

You look at Joel, the same panic and anger taking over his features, and take a deep breath. He grinds his teeth as he thinks, and you have to stop yourself from scolding him. When you look back at Charlie, her face is splotchy, and her brown eyes sparkle in the mid-afternoon light. She looks so grown up but so little at the same time. Your eyes slide from hers to Eric's wide ones.

"I'm assuming you know the stories about Jane and her dad?" You ask.

"Yes, ma'am." He croaks, and you nod.

"And I'm assuming you know how Joel and I got to Jackson in the first place?"

"Mom," Charlie starts, but you catch Joel shaking his head at her in your peripheral vision. Eric swallows thickly and nods.

"Yes, ma'am."

"Good," you say. "If I ever hear anything about you not being there for Charlie or that baby, or if you even think about leaving them, I'll fucking kill you." You haven't had to speak this way in years, and it, obviously, rattles both Charlie and Eric. Good. You hope it does rattle him.

"Mom!" Charlie scolds, looking to Joel for help, but it's clear that he has your back with this one. You'll be damned if she ends up a single parent like you two were. She scoffs and stands, pulling Eric up with her. "You don't have to listen to this, Eric."

"Yes, he does." You say.

"Baby, what did you think we were gonna say?" Joel asks.

"That you'd support my decision or, at least, find a way to!"

"Of course, we support you. I just..." Joel trails off. "I just don't think you know what this means. How much this is gonna change your life. And I know you love each other, but havin' a baby ain't an easy thing."

"That's why we're doing it together," she says, her eyes moving from Joel's to yours. "That's why it's fucking crazy to talk to him like that. And unfair. You didn't act this way when Ellie had JJ."

"That's because we didn't need to have this same talk with them. Jesse and Dina had already decided to co-parent Jay. There was no way Dina was gonna be a single mom," you say. "But there were three of them, and it was still hard. You were just a baby when he was born, so you don't remember, but it was a lot."

"So, you don't think I can be a mom?" She asks, and you stand with your hands up in defeat.

"I didn't say that. I just want you to be prepared. I remember what it was like, and I-"

"Just because you were miserable when you had Jane doesn't mean everyone is." It's mean and calculated and hits you right where it hurts. It doesn't matter if it's the hormones or not. The sting of her words renders you silent.

"Don't you speak to your mother that way!" Joel yells. He never yells anymore, especially at Charlie. The scary boom in his voice fills the room, but you catch the glint of tears in his eyes as his breathing stutters. "This ain't just playin' house, Charlie. So, if your mama is a little worried, she's allowed to be. Shit, we're all allowed to lose our fuckin' minds for a minute, but that isn't an excuse to talk bout your family like that." He says, and she taps her shoe on the ground twice, a nervous tick she picked up from Joel.

"I'm sorry, Mom, but I can't just sit here and listen to you threaten Eric like that," she says. You nod but don't apologize. You can't find anything to say. Charlie stares at you like she's waiting for you to lash out or yell at her, but you can't. She wipes a stray tear away furiously and turns away. "I need some air," she mumbles, dragging Eric out of the house before you can even protest. The door slams behind her, and the floorboards she took her first steps on shake with the force. Joel reaches for your hand and pulls you into him. He murmurs soft assurances into your hair, his voice cracking and tears spilling from his eyes as he does, and all you can do is let him hold you.

What the fuck else are you supposed to do?

You wake up in the middle of the night to the sound of the bathroom door in the hall slamming open. You and Joel jolt upright in bed at the sudden sound (old habits die hard, right?), and you sigh as you rub your eyes. You check the alarm clock next to your bed for the time and see it's close to three. The dark mountain town is still asleep outside your window, and you grab a soft flannel from the floor to pull over your shoulders.

You don't remember falling asleep. You were up, waiting for Charlie to come home so you could talk further, but when the front door opened and closed, and she basically sprinted to her room, you couldn't find the energy for another fight. But when you laid down, you couldn't sleep either, your conversation from earlier playing on a loop in your mind. You and Joel just sat there in silence, staring up at the ceiling until your eyelids got too heavy, and you fell into a dreamless sleep. You couldn't have been asleep for over an hour or two when the bathroom door swung open. Joel looks at you, confused when you stand.

"What are you doin'?" He asks, and you wave him off.

"I know why she's up. Just go back to bed." You say without much explanation before padding down the hallway and into the bathroom.

Your footsteps are loud enough on the tile for her to hear you, so she doesn't flinch when you suddenly pull her hair away from her face and hold it out of the way. She glances at you and softens a little before retching into the toilet again. She does that for another minute or two before her stomach is finally empty, and you can safely let go of her hair. She sighs and leans against the wall as you flush the toilet and hand her a towel. You settle across from her, your back pressed against the sink, and rub her leg as she wipes her face.

"Thanks," she mumbles as she tips her head back against the wall. She looks tired and weak. All you want to do is scoop her up in your arms like she's three years old again. "I feel like shit."

"I'm sorry. That's my genetics. I was super sick with you and Jane." Her name rolls off your tongue so fast you almost forget the last time it was invoked. The air stiffens between you, and she shifts uncomfortably.

"How long were you sick for?" She asks softly. You sigh as you track your memory back and try to remember the exact details.

"About six months," you admit, and she groans. You laugh a little at her reaction, but only because you know how frustrating it is. If you could take it from her, you would. When you settle, she stares at you guiltily and starts picking at the nail bed around her thumb like she can't stand the silence. "Where did you guys go?" you ask to put her out of her misery.

"I just… needed to get out of the house. We walked around town for a while before going to his parent's house," she says. "They still don't know. We wanted to tell y'all first." You nod, unable to give words to your gratitude just yet, and she swallows thickly.

"You could've stayed," you whisper. "I wanted you to stay."

"I know," she says. "I'm sorry. For everything." She looks like she could start crying again, so you take a deep breath, scoot over to her, wrap her in your arms, and kiss her temple. You feel her relax into you, and a weight is lifted off your shoulders.

"You know your dad and I worry about you. It's not about you not being capable or not smart enough because you are plenty capable and smart. But we also know that it doesn't matter how prepared you think you are. There's nothing that can prepare you for being a parent, and that's not me trying to scare you. It's just how it is." You explain, and she nods into your neck.

"That's what Ellie said, too." She says.

"Smart kid."

"I feel like I fucked up," she pivots dramatically, but you hold on tightly and wait for her to continue. I'm right here with you, baby girl, you think. "I want to be happy because Eric seems happy, and you're supposed to be happy when you find out you're pregnant, but I'm so fucking scared." She sounds like she's on the brink of tears again, and you shush her. She sighs heavily and wipes at her face as she leans back enough to see you. "Were you scared when you found out you were pregnant?"

"Both times, I was fucking terrified. With you, it came later, though. Even though your dad and I talked about having another kid and how amazing you'd end up being, I remember going into labor and shaking cause of how scared I was." You say, and she nods.

"How did you... know you were supposed to be a mom? She asks. It's a loaded question. How does anyone ever know they're "supposed" to be a parent? You certainly didn't think you were meant for anything that important at sixteen, but you do remember why you made the decision you did.

"I, um…" you trail off, laughing. "I started having these dreams after I found out I was pregnant."

"Dreams?"

"It was pretty much the same thing over and over again for a few months. I would be going through my regular routine, but this… baby was following me around. I couldn't tell if it was a boy or a girl, but I knew it was my baby. And it came with me to school, the grocery store, work, everything, and as time passed in my dream, the bigger the baby got. They'd get more personality or start laughing, or their eyes would change colors, and I'd be so in love with them," You know you sound crazy, but that's because it was crazy. "The first few times, I woke up crying because the baby from my dreams wasn't there. I thought there was nothing worse than waking up in the morning and not having my kid there," you say. The weight of your words catches up with you, and you have to bite your bottom lip to keep from crying. "And I was right." You shake your head and take a deep breath, hyper-aware of her eyes on you.

"I had the same dreams when I got pregnant with you, except they were a little different. In all of them, you were always with Ellie and Dad— every single time. I thought you were gonna grow up and not like me as much or whatever other reason my hormones gave me for the change, but, towards the end, you started showing up alone. You were just this little light. I can't describe it exactly, but everything I did in the dream was a little more magical because you were there. Things were shiny or glittery, and you would just giggle and giggle and giggle," you say, smiling at the memory. You grab her hand and squeeze hard, looking directly into her eyes and fighting more tears. "You turned my world technicolor even before you were born, and I knew I would always do everything I could to protect you. That's why I was so hard on Eric. I know he's a good kid and nothing like Jane's dad was, but I don't want you to end up like me, kid." Charlie squeezes your hand, somehow harder than you squeeze her, and a familiar crease appears between her eyebrows.

"Mommy, if I'm half the woman you are, I'd be so fucking happy. Are you kidding me?" She says.

"Charlotte-"

"I'm serious," she cuts you off, Joel's commanding yet gentle tone seeping into her voice. "Mom, you made my lunch until I was in high school, and even when I asked you to stop, you still had one ready to go just in case I needed it. You used to take JJ and me to the park so Ellie and Aunt Dina could get some sleep, even though everyone knew that meant you didn't get any. You convinced Dad to talk to Eric because you knew I loved him and wanted him to like him..." She slows down a little bit, scanning your face before she continues. "You kept a kid alive during the Outbreak despite everything. You still buy her flowers on her birthday. You tell me about her. You let me know her," you take a shaky breath, and you can't stop the tears anymore. "You're a good mom, and I'm so lucky to have you, and I'm sorry for what I said and for getting pregnant and-"

This time, you stop her by hugging her tight and letting yourself cry. She gets emotional, too, and a very unlucky Joel finds the two of you crying on the bathroom floor in the middle of the night. Like everything, he takes it in stride and joins you two on the floor until the sun breaches over the mountains and a new day shines down.

It's hard to say things got easier after that day. Eric's parents didn't react very positively at first, and it took them most of her pregnancy to come around. Charlie goes through weeks of sickness and bed rest. They argue a lot about the future and what it should look like, but they get there in the end. The next year, the house is filled with a familiar chatter and chaos. Charlie and Eric's twins (which explains why she felt so bad), Elliot "Ellie" Beth, and April Theresa Miller-Donovan, squeal as Joel takes turns dancing with them in the living room.

Elliot is, obviously, named in honor of your Ellie, but she bears Sarah's middle name. April threw you for a loop. The twins were born in snowy January, confusing you as to why they would name her that and not January, but Charlie smiled as she handed April to you. "Jane's birthday is April 7th. I didn't want to steal your name, but I remember you taking me to the meadow to pick flowers for her. April 7th was always my favorite day." She explained, making you choke up. When she told you April's middle name, you and Joel completely lost it. Theresa, for your Tess, the woman who believed so much in Ellie, she forced you to believe in her, too. The woman who saved your life in more ways than one. The woman who would've absolutely adored Charlie if she ever met her.

You love being grandparents again— admittedly, a little older than you were the first time around. Joel teaches the girls Spanish words and lets them pull on his beard. You make extra food so your baby has something to eat after the long days and nights of keeping them alive, and you play silly games with them. They don't look like you or Joel or even Charlie or Eric. They look like their own little people. People who will never know the loss, destruction, and nights spent staring hopelessly at walls you went through. People who will grow up safe and loved and cared for. People who carry names they won't be able to put a face to.

That's okay. They don't need to know about the people you were before you were their grandparents, and maybe it's time for you to try to let that time go. Maybe, in your and Joel's old age, with the deep wrinkles and graying hair, you can just be. Maybe you can just dance in the living room and make warm blankets and fall asleep holding hands. Maybe everything does turn out okay.

#look for the light #thank you for the gorgeous request!!#joel miller x fem!reader #joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller fluff #joel miller angst #joel miller series #joel miller fic #dad!joel miller #the last of us fic #the last of us au #tlou au #joel the last of us #the last of us #pedro pascal cinematic universe #pedro pascal characters

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modelbus · 2 months

Text

I've done it guys I complied old writing bits and created a valentines post someone give me an AWARD. This is just gonna be a bunch of random snippets between reader and Tommy from their relationship <3 fluff for the day of love

Pairing: CC!Tommyinnit x Gn!Reader

Romantic Relations - Valentines Day Special

"Wait, I'm- why isn't the pickaxe working?" You ask, looking at chat for help.

MCC was stressful as it is, you didn't need your computer having a breakdown.

Tommy laughs. "You have to claim the pickaxe, love." He explains softly.

"Oh. Fuck. Chat, shut up. Shut the fuck up."

"Love." Wilbur scoffs. "I'm sickened."

"I will leak your address if you don't fuck off." Tommy threatens.

Wilbur mutes.

"Freddie, you IGL. You IGL." Tommy laughs, leaning back in his seat. From what you can see of his screen, he's floating in air which means he's dead. He turns to you, your entrance not as quiet as you thought. "You okay?"

"I just wanted a gummy snake." You shrug, approaching him.

With a smile, he tugs his headphones down around his neck. "But I bought these."

"Your mum bought them." You correct, reaching over his keyboard to grab one out of the packet.

Haribo twin snake gummies, his favorite. You had quite literally never heard of them before meeting him. He has a whole package to himself.

"They're still mine!"

"Tough shit then." You pop it into your mouth, smirking at his expression. "Gummy worm tax."

"The rest are mine."

"You're going to make yourself sick."

"Small price to pay for these. Wish us luck?"

"Good luck."

You snag another one before waltzing out of the room.

"I'm not saying that." Tommy laughs. "Fine! Wait! I've got a message for you!"

You pause, turning back to him with raised eyebrows. You know he's on call with both Eryn and Freddie so they definitely just said something stupid.

"Freddie and Eryn say hi."

"That is definitely not what they said."

"That's the important bit, don't worry." His head snaps to his computer, eyes going wide. "Eryn!"

"…okay then."

You duck out of his room, another snake gummy hidden away in your hand. What a fool.

Tommy's in the room three seconds after you scream, eyes wide with his phone in hand. Another second and he's next to you, worried.

"What? What happened?"

"There's a fucking bug in the bed." You say, never taking your eyes off the bug.

Screaming might've been an overreaction but it jumped at you! Bugs weren't meant to jump! You were perfectly sane for screaming.

"There's a- what the fuck?" Tommy laughs. "You screamed because there was a bug?"

"IN THE BED!"

"I thought you were getting murdered!"

"I was! By this fucking bug!"

For dramatic effect you point at it. The sudden movement must startle it or something because it jumps again, making you flinch backwards.

Tommy's laughing louder now, placing his hands on your shoulders and lightly pushing you towards it.

"It wants to say hello!"

"NO! I DON'T WANT TO SAY HELLO TO IT!"

You duck out from his hands, crossing the room. "Kill it." You demand.

"It's just a friendly little fellow! Hello bug!"

"Kill it or I will move out right now."

Tommy pouts, catching the weird bug in his hands. "Come on, he's my new friend!"

"Kill. It."

"Say hello to it first."

Little shit. Fucking asshole.

You cross your arms, an empathetic no. Tommy laughs harder, opening the window and dumping the bug outside.

"Gone." He announces. "Fucking hell."

"Thank you."

"Big man Tom Simons saves the day yet again."

"My hero." You fake swoon, holding a hand to your head.

"I recorded that entire thing, so I'm putting it on Twitter."

"IF YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT IT-"

"I am not your crutch." You say, but don't move as Tommy puts a hand on your shoulder and uses you for balance as he wipes off his feet.

"Just stay still."

"I'm trying!"

He brushes off the sand before sliding his foot into his shoe, then moving onto the next foot.

"Hurry up." You sigh.

"I'm trying! Okay, okay, done."

"I can't believe you got that much sand on your feet-"

"You're about to have some fucking sand in your face!"

"Hey!"

"It's nice making them do all the work, isn't it?" Shelby asks, giggling as Tommy fake-lurches and acts like he's about to drop their food.

"Definitely." You agree, smiling at your boyfriend.

Wilbur isn't far behind Tommy, paying for all the food. They didn't order much, but you couldn't tell that from the way Tommy was acting.

Shelby was filming a "week in the life of" vlog, so you decided to all meet up and help her out with some content. You would do one, but you're not much of a YouTuber. Besides, Tommy's already done two since you've lived with him.

"Although if he actually drops that stuff Wilbur will kill him." You add.

"Oh, no doubt."

"Shelby Shubble!" Tommy calls out. "Shelby Shubble, why are you not filming me? I can be the star of the video!"

"I know! And that's why I've got to keep you minimized!" She exclaims.

"Me? Minimized?!"

Tommy sets down two drinks in front of you. One's yours, and the other is his. Both cokes, seeing as that's the superior brand.

The bag he drops in front of you is, again, both of your foods. McDonalds: putting multiple orders in one bag since it opened.

"Thanks, Toms."

He practically flings himself into the booth next to you, collapsing on your shoulder dramatically.

"I went through hell to get the food to you! Hell!"

Shelby starts laughing, and you roll your eyes. "Oh yeah? Did you see the devil?"

"I did! I did!"

"What'd he say?"

"He sounded a lot like Wilbur Soot—funny, that—and he said: 'Tom! Tom! You're the best man ever! The biggest! The only!' To which I obviously replied 'I have nothing on PhilzA Minecraft, thank you very much' but he didn't believe me!"

"Why not? PhilzA is the only man ever."

"He's the Devil, innit?" Tommy straightens suddenly. "Wait, you think Philza's the only man ever? Is he the best?"

"Well, if he's the only man ever…" Shelby jumps in. You nod along with the olders words, hiding your smile.

A hurt look comes onto Tommy's face, and he dramatically pouts at you both.

"Shelby Shubble, are you saying you'd pick Philza Minecraft me?" He waits for Shelby to nod before turning to you. "Aren't you dating me? Not Philza Minecraft?"

"Am I? I hadn't noticed." You hum, and Wilbur chooses this moment to come with his and Shelby's food.

"Wil!" Tommy exclaims. "Wil! I'm dating this bitch next to me, right?! Right?!"

"Uh-"

"So they should think I'm the best man ever!"

Wilbur's gaze sweeps over the three of you, and you try to imagine what he must see. Tommy, putting on the performance of a lifetime. Shelby, openly laughing behind a hand. And you, yrying and failing to hide your grin.

"I don't know, seems a bit controlling Tommy." Wilbur shrugs, taking his seat next to Shelby and handing over her things.

"Controlling?!"

Underneath the table, you nudge Tommy's hand with yours. Without missing a beat he entwines their fingers.

"Me? Controlling?" He continues.

Stealthily, you pick up a fry as he doesn't let up on his rant. Shelby nods, seeing your plan, and you throw it at him.

Tommy pauses, then bursts into laughter.

"What the fuck? You wasted a fry!"

At his words, the rest of their table goes up in a roar of laughter and happiness. Of course, the manager kicks them out for it, but it was so worth it.

#tommyinnit imagine #tommyinnit #tommy innit #tommy mcyt #tommyinnit x reader #tommyinnit x you #dsmp tommy #mcyt #dsmp #tommyinnit mcyt #tommyinnit dream smp

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zzzzzestforlife · 5 months

Text

Tech Girlie Diaries: being the youngest and only female software engineer on the team

👄 honest stories/lessons only 💅

I just found out I'll get to mentor my first female intern at work and I'm so excited!!! It's so rare that we (not even just our team but the company as a whole) get female interns 🥺 which got me thinking about everything I want to impart to this bright, young mind ✨ since I was once in her shoes 🩰 just without a female mentor 😔 Don't get me wrong(!!), I love my mentors and every chance I get to work with them has been great — they're literally the best dudes I've ever met 🥲 but there are some ~tech girlie things~ that guys just... don't have to deal with in the same way.

Hopefully, if you're also a woman in tech or an ally, these can help you too ☺️ and please let me know in the comments/reblogs/dms/asks if there's anything else I might've missed that you think my mentee should know! ❤️

Unburden Yourself: you do not represent all women ♀️

When I first joined this company as an intern, I was only the second female intern they'd ever had and their first backend female intern. There were no backend female engineers. I felt like I had to constantly prove myself against these bros who seemed to eat, sleep, and breathe code.

But I quickly realized, through the consistent kindness and respect my male colleagues gave me, that it is not a competition (unless it's a bug-solving hackathon, in which case, all other teams can suck it 🍭😜) and no one thinks for a second that I am a representative token of my gender.

Unfortunately, this diversity-affirming culture is still not the case in all workplaces, so this is the Most Important Thing to remember: that you deserve to be treated kindly and with respect by your colleagues AND yourself, so don't settle for anything less! 💕

Take the Day: Care for Yourself First🥇

After finding out I took basically no holidays for a year, my manager at the time was appalled and granted me a month-long vacation (it was amazing). He then proceeded to (kindly) lecture me on the fact that I was no longer an intern and working full-time means making a conscious effort to Not Burn Out™️. My current manager still gives me well-meaning lectures to the same effect, so I guess I haven't really taken this lesson to heart yet?? 🙈 I'll give some examples from what I should've done instead 😂

If that time of the month is killing you and you're straight-up collapsing at your desk: TAKE THE DAY OFF

If your back and wrists are killing you to the point that you physically cannot sit and type: TAKE THE DAY WEEK OFF

If you have personal/family struggles you need to be fully present for: TAKE THE DAY WEEK MONTH OFF

... You get the idea.

Be Your Most Effective Self 🌷

My current manager (literally one of the strongest women I know) and I work well together even though (or maybe precisely because) we have completely different personalities. She is direct, serious, and very goal-oriented 🎯 I tend to take a softer approach, can be completely unserious, and more people/morale focused 🍒

When I was starting out, I really felt I had to be more like my current manager so that people would respect me and take me seriously 😳 That thought daunted me so much because it's totally opposite my natural personality. It wasn't until people started telling me that my personality was a big part of why people like working me and want me on their teams that I started to learn to play to my strengths 💪

Despite our differences, my manager and I are both effective engineers in our own ways ☺️

Good Girls Get What They Deserve 💸

I have been unashamedly aggressive about what I want in my career.

Worked my butt off 🍑 for 2 promotions in 2 years 🌟 when it usually takes twice the amount of time for both! 🏃‍♀️

Communicated my desire to move into management someday to gain more mentorship / project leadership roles and experience 🤓

Your own growth and trajectory is what you have the most control over. Sometimes that means taking a well-deserved break, other times that means hustling and negotiating and networking until you make your dreams a reality.

I've lost count of how many companies I've applied to before landing this job and how many mistakes I've needed to correct even in my current position! So sometimes too, maintaining control means realizing that when you are denied/fail to attain certain opportunities, it makes you available to attend to others that may even be better suited to you in the long-run! 🏃‍♀️

💌: Say it with me, ladies: 🕯️❤️ The new year will be my year! I got this! ❤️🕯️

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moongothic · 3 months

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Hi! Just found your blog and I'm having a blast reading through your Croc theories and analysis, they're great! I wanted to ask you what you make of Croc's last manga appearance (I think), where Buggy announces he wants to be Pirate King. Just before that Croc mentions they need power and influence to form their utopia. It bugs me. Operation Utopia was your typical bad guy plot, but now he's still going on about that? What's that about? What idea of utopia could Mihawk and Croc possibly share??

I mean the OG Operation Utopia was simply about creating a military nation powerful enough to oppose the World Government, Crocodile explained it during the Alabasta arc explicitly. And the reason he targetted Alabasta specifically was because he believed Pluton would be there which would make his military nation unstopable.

So it's not entirely shocking Crocodile still wants to create that military force, even if he's given up on the Ancient Weapon part.

What bothers me is:

Why did Crocodile wait two whole years until he made his first move at restarting his Utopia Plans?

Why does he want that military force to begin with?

Like the easy answer for 1) would be that Crocodile had to wait for his turn to become plot-relevant again and was simplying enjoying his vacation in the meantime. Like considdering the shit happening during Dressrosa, Whole Cake and Wano, having Crocodile start his BS early would've been a distraction storywise frankly and Oda had enough balls to juggle at once with those sagas. But also, it is odd Crocodile hasn't done ANYTHING ahead of time to start rebuilding a new military force, like. He had two whole years, what the fuck was he doing then? Why wait that long just to start??

And I can only assume... he was waiting? For something?

Let's think about what has changed in the world of OP between Dressrosa and now, like the big, key events that impact the whole world:

Luffy has not just returned to the pirating scene after two years but has caused a fuck ton of world-shaking chaos in the New World (becoming an Emperor being simply the latest big thing)

Reverie happened

The Revolutionaries attacked Marijoa for the first time

The Shichibukai System was demolished

And there's two things we can kind of take-away from these.

If Crocodad Real, Crocodile watching his son take the spotlight could've inspired the man to move; the WG would want to target his baby boy and thus becoming an intentional distraction could be his goal here. Alternatively, hearing that his ex Finally Did Something could've made Crocodile be like "fuck I'm not losing to Dragon" and inspired him to actually make a move himself.

OR. Perhaps the end of the Shichibukai System is what got Crocodile to actually make a move? Because there's two things; One, he was able to make a very powerful ally very fast when Mihawk became a target for the WG. It's possible Crocodile might've been waiting for an opportunity like that, to recruit someone reasonable, reliable and extremely capable to make his own future endevours easier. Two. Because Crocodile gave all his money to fucking Buggy, it's possible Croc could've been broke these past two years. But knowing Buggy's now lost his Shichibukai Rights, THAT may have been why Crocodile decided to go get his money back when he did. Because if/when Buggy decided to skedaddle and disappear into the wind, there'd be no way for him to get his money back anymore, right.

OR. It could be all of these things together. The planets aligned and Crocodile saw now was the time to make his move. Maybe. IDK.

And then we get to 2, Why Does He Want To Create That Military Nation To Begin With

And I have no idea

I mean there's the whole Romancing SaGa 2 thing, but while that would work as proof of Crocodile's motivations, it doesn't explain particularly why he wants to destroy the WG. Like not that you need a personal motivation considdering what the WG is like, but without the motivation it's hard to tell if it's for World Domination or something else.

Though if Crocodad Real then it'd sound very reasonable if he was very intentionally trying to fuck with the World Government to protect his son by

trying to put a target on his own back and act as a distraction

take down as many Marines as possible to dwindle down the enemy forces (making it harder for the WG to make moves on anyone)

lowkey assisting Dragon if he wanted to mayhaps attack Marijoa again if he's actually up to doing something now

just prepare for a war against the WG

Or any combo of the above.

Like. I dunno man Crocodad really would just explain so much

But it all remains to be seen

#Moon posting #Asks #Sir Crocodile #Crocodad #Cross Guild #OP Spoilers #OP Meta #Long post #I had been wanting an excuse to write about ''why did Croc wait so long to start Cross Guild'' so I took that opportunity now #God knows I'd never remember to do so otherwise lmao

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positivelybeastly · 1 month

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X-Force #50

All right, well, we finally did it, gang. We hit the big 5-0, and it's all done. And guess what?

It's all up hill from here! Wednesday spoilers below the cut, and . . . quite a lot of rambling? If I'm honest?

So, we open up on X-Force trying to kill good Hank and Simon, because they are dumb, despite Kid Omega and Sage asserting their genius. They blow up their little gay boat of love, and our intrepid heroes get pitched into the drink.

So . . . this is . . .

Why is Simon wearing a rebreather/oxygen tank?

Dear reader, I implore you to open this link, and scroll down to Simon Williams' powers and abilities.

Immortality: Williams is functionally immortal. Because of the ionic energy that empowers him, he no longer ages and is immune to disease and infection. This same energy sustains Williams' physical vitality far more efficiently than the biochemical process that sustain ordinary human life.

Self-Sustenance As a result of his transformation he no longer requires food, sleep, water or oxygen to survive. Simon is now a fully energized entity who can sustain himself indefinitely without nourishment, easily able to live outside habitable planet orbit.

Benjamin Percy, writer; Drew Baumgartner, Assistant Editor; Mark Basso, Editor; Jordan D. White, Senior Editor.

All four of these men are incapable of Googling basic facts about a character that Marvel has owned and been using since the 1960s. Basic facts that are available if you do so much as a basic skim of the man's Wiki page.

So, why is Simon wearing a rebreather/oxygen tank? So that evil Beast can destroy it and send Simon up to the surface, and good Beast and evil Beast can talk uninterrupted. That's the only actual reason. This is laziness from both an editorial and a writing standpoint, since you could have easily just had evil Beast use some kind of gadget to achieve the same effect, but don't worry! This won't be the most egregious lack of attention to detail this issue!

Yaaaaaay . . .

"My Beast," huh, Simon?

Gay.

Also, this scene makes X-Force look fucking pathetic, because Simon could literally wipe the floor with every one of them and not break a sweat. Simon 'my fists are LITERALLY as strong as Thor's hammer' Williams has nothing to fear from fucking Omega Red. His pacifism is the only thing keeping you from looking even stupider than you already do.

Orchis attacks to give the rest of X-Force something to do. I don't care.

But we do get this funny fuckin' shit.

Tie him up?

Logan, did you forget the last time you fought Simon? Or the time before that?

Anyway, the Beasts talk. It's not a particularly interesting conversation, for the most part.

God, this plan is just so fucking stupid.

But.

There is one moment that actually kinda works.

It's really funny to me that two of the worst Beast writers of all time, Brian Michael Bendis and Benjamin Percy, both managed to grok this essential fact - Hank McCoy loved being this version of Hank McCoy.

He was happy.

He was comfortable.

He was loved.

Feline Hank, as much as I love him, as much as he's my favourite iteration of the character, was never happy in his skin. How could he be? It wasn't something he chose, it was forced upon him. To save his life.

Well, what if he didn't want to be saved? What if he felt his life was so miserable that he might've thought, perhaps I should just let it all end?

He had moments, sure. But he never really escaped this feeling. This fear, this anxiety, this trauma, this pain. He carried it with him for the rest of his life. Just constant trauma, death, misery, regret, mistakes, chances not taken, failures.

But he would never be the same again. It's funny. He's the version I love most, but he's the version of Hank who could never love himself.

Which . . . is partly why it bugs me when people say Hank has internalised mutantphobia. Like, he kinda does, but I honestly don't really feel like it's quite that simple. He's comfortable in his simian form, he loves it, he only very occasionally angsts about it, he is happy. It's when he turns feline that he hates his mutant 'gift,' because now he has to worry about what might come next.

This is not the same as, I hate my mutant powers because they make my life inconvenient, because it means people hate and fear me. He can deal with that. He's been dealing with that since he was seventeen and nearly beaten to death by an angry mob for saving a child.

This is, I hate my mutant powers because they are turning me into something less than human or mutant. Because I am a danger. Because I am in danger.

And his fears are validated. He nearly kills Blindfold and Armour. He eats Logan's leg, tastes human flesh. He spends the last seven issues of Whedon's Astonishing X-Men with the taste of human skin and meat on his lips. How the fuck is he meant to be happy like this?

Anyway, back to X-Force. The two Beasts fight. Orchis shit happens.

Fuck off, Logan. Stop acting like you're at all relevant to proceedings.

Gay.

"X-Force ain't the ones you root for. But we get the dirty jobs done."

You didn't fucking do anything.

Hank and Simon could have fixed this entire mess without you. The only reason you were fighting a Sentinel was because you drew it to your location with your jet, firing at a gay little blue man and his fruity ionic boyfriend! You didn't contribute anything!

And then, as if to cap it all off . . .

What a self-aggrandising load of wank.

Hey, what was Colossus' plot arc through this series?

He spent 5 years being mind controlled and killed his girlfriend.

What was Domino's plot arc through this series?

Well, she got hurt a lot. There was that one time she got skinned. That was fun.

What was Laura Kinney's plot arc through this series?

There were entire issues where she didn't speak a fucking word.

You had.

50.

ISSUES.

And this is the best you could come up with?

"The plan was always for the war without to lead to the war within these two characters."

Is that why Wonder Man was more important to the climax of your book than Logan?

Go step on a fucking Lego, Ben.

This was allegedly a run all about black ops wetwork, the sacrifice of your soul to the harsh work that protecting your country requires, the inexorable slide towards moral degradation that comes from compromise.

It ended with a blue man in a stupid plant suit sacrificing himself to save a D-list actor from a bomb that would have crushed Mars into a pocket dimension, all so that his clone can go and become roommates with said D-list actor.

Ben Percy, of all the writers the X-office has welcomed into its midst, you were certainly one of them.

I just . . . this was what was worth jettisoning 40 years of Hank McCoy's personal history for? This cockamamie bullshit? This excuse for you to whip your dick out and pretend you're Larry Hama, when you can barely measure up to Chuck Austen?

Also, Jonathan Hickman, you're kind of on my shitlist for this, too. You may write a halfway decent comic book every now and then - and make no mistake, they're mostly halfway decent, I think he scrapes greatness with his ideas, but his execution is. Dry.

But that's better than his eye for talent, clearly.

I hate being negative. I feel guilty every time. I don't enjoy it. I hate to dwell. I hate to spiral. I hate to obsess over things.

But X-Force is just . . .

X-Force was, just shit. I will go to my grave telling anyone who'll listen that it's not worth reading.

"It'll read better in trades!" No, it won't.

"It has such a good team!" If you burn a pie made of good ingredients, you still have a burnt pie to eat.

"The art is so good!" And if you put sprinkles in a toilet bowl, it's still a toilet. It just looks prettier now.

Oh, and just in case anyone from Marvel ever reads this - they won't, they only hang around on Twitter so people can jerk off about the panels they write explicitly to be shared by the X-stans - I've pirated every comic I've read in the last 10 years. Every issue of X-Force? Pirated. All these caps? Pirated. Every time someone asks me where to read comics, what to read? Pirate links.

I didn't pay a dime for this series. I still feel like I got ripped off.

I almost can't believe it's over . . . what am I going to do with my life now that I don't have X-Force to complain about?

Oh, yeah. I can just read good comics. Nearly forgot about that.

But hey. That leads me to . . . I don't know, I guess, the end of an era.

Because Hank didn't get his memories back. Maybe he will in the future, but I don't have faith that there's anyone at Marvel that feels this strongly about Beast, so I doubt it. I need to write this down, anyway, for the catharsis. It'll help me say goodbye.

Rest in peace, Hank McCoy, 1985-2018.

You were the Beast I fell in love with. You were the man who taught me to be gentle when the world was unkind. You were the man who taught me that sometimes you don't have to love the body you're in, you just have to want to keep on going, because it can get better. There's always that chance. You were the man who led me to my boyfriend of 12 years, who I love more dearly than anything else on the planet. You were my friend when I didn't have many, and you've helped me make a lot of friends I quite appreciate. People I'm proud to know.

You're gone now. A lot of people aren't going to mourn you. They don't appreciate what was lost. But that's okay. I'll tell anyone who'll listen how brilliant you were. I'll try not to hold it against the version of you I'm left with, that he isn't you. He was you once. He could be like you again. Maybe better. I'd like that. I hope that's the case.

I'll keep writing you. I honestly don't think I could ever stop.

I'll try my best not to be sad that you're gone.

I'll try my best to instead be simply glad that you happened.

I'll give the past its due.

Which is all you can do, in the end, for the dead and for the past.

Well.

That, and live.

#outofmuffins #hank mccoy #wednesday spoilers #blood tw

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happyk44 · 1 year

Text

Thinking about what little we know of Rei and Kazuki's backgrounds. Kazuki either grew up in foster care/was an orphan/was extremely neglected as a child - it's implied he grew up poor. So he's very self-sufficient. He covets expensive things, from premium foods for cooking to fancy clothes.

Rei also says in episode 5 that gathering intel and sorting through information is Kazuki's job. I think Kazuki's upbringing made him extremely cautious and self-aware. He's a good liar (at least where the job is concerned), and observational. He is very meticulous about planning ahead, which, when you're living in poverty is an important skill to have.

Consequently, Rei is the opposite. He never needed to be aware of his surroundings because his only job is to kill. He never needed to grab intel because, presumably, someone else did it for him.

Kazuki also calls him a rich kid. We see a giant house in his flashback, furthering this. He doesn't know how to take care of himself, which could be because someone else always did it for him - cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc.

He also has very little self-preservation skills to complement his lack of self sufficiency. Twice so far we've seen him run directly into gunfire. And while, in the laws of anime, none of it hits him, it's still not the best fucking thing to do. But none of that matters to him. His only goal is the kill - which is why his advice to Kazuki in the second episode is to just charge in and start shooting. He doesn't know how to plan, he just knows murder.

He's also a lot more focused than Kazuki because of this. If his only goal is to kill the bug, everything and everyone else becomes wallpaper. He offers to shoot through Miri in the first episode. He starts shooting when Kazuki and Miri are still in the house in the second episode. He continues to shoot even after Kazuki has picked him up because they need to run.

Also I don't speak Japanese, nor am I very familiar with the culture so correct me if I'm wrong, but I know that the suffix "chan" is most often used between children or to refer to things that are cute (sort of like the suffix "ito" in Spanish). Similarly it's used between close friends/family. Kazuki refers to Kyu as Kyu-chan a lot. So far we haven't seen much of their relationship in depth. We know that Kyu gives them jobs and handles the messes that occur. He's sort of the middle man between the hiring people and the hitmen themselves. I think Kazuki's use of "chan" in this case implies that he and Kyu have a very close relationship. I wonder if Kyu had helped him out a lot as a kid, and it was a nickname that sort of stuck.

Subsequently, I think Kyu might've been the one that got Kazuki into this job field - maybe not as a hitman initially, but as someone who gathers intelligence, scouts locations for kills, etc. He was probably the one who partnered Rei and Kazuki up after Rei left (?) his family's organization and Kazuki's family died.

I also wouldn't be surprised if Kyu's handling of their mess-ups in the job is something he does specifically because of his relationship with Kazuki - and not a service he really offers anyone else that comes by.

Anyway, I know everyone else is freaking out about the potential flashbacks in the next episode because they might be painful, but I'm really excited to see more of their backgrounds!

#buddy daddies #rei suwa #kazuki kurusu #happy talks buddy daddies #new tag my loves! gonna update the other posts in a bit

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justin-chapmanswers · 1 year

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hello there! love your work :) i'm wondering how much you personally contributed to bot's backstory, and however much that may be, what you think of it - why do you think the decision was made to have bot be created by test tube and fan, as opposed to some other entity? the pair had already gotten an arc in ii2 about learning not to project their desires onto a child figure (fan's egg) so it's interesting that the same was done with them again in ii3. my love of the season is not really diminished by that decision (i still absolutely love ii3!!!) but it has bugged me haha :'D but anyway, i hope you're doing well!! thank you and have a lovely day <3

- clover anon

Hihi, love the question. Honestly, while I did contribute a bit to the Bot backstory, I'll say I had a lil less to do with it than a couple other writers. It's an element I've been excited about since we got some momentum on it conceptually, but since it's not my baby I can't give suuuuper definitive answers here.

We started with the character's existence before the backstory. "Bow has the votes, what now?" The initial thought was "welp, Purgatory Mansion'd, that's that. Who's next-up on the list?" I wouldn't wanna meddle with her s2 story by suddenly making her able to be a part of the competition. There was strong-enough pushback on this that we decided to consider our options and come to a fun compromise. Robot was pitched, and it opened up a lot of options, and we wanted to have a fairly firm grasp on which we'd run with before we wrote episode one.

To your question, there was debate on what element of the world Bot would fall under. Meeple-made was considered. Contestant-made was considered. And some additional options. Ultimately, we landed on the direction that'd keep Invitational's story a little more grounded and character-focused, which was an early goal, and kept it as a personal story between the contestants.

The Meeple option was, of course, very alluring. So-much-so that half the community was guessing that Bot was Meeple-related. Might've been the obvious conclusion based on how we've set up our lore thus far (not that I think this would necessarily be a negative, so long as the execution is strong). Besides this, we still have a lot to hit on with Meeple and we weren't looking to complicate it. It felt like a breath of fresh air to us to explore a mini-mystery that didn't tie back to where our past ones have.

While, again, I didn't add as much to the story of Bot's creation as others, I do think it's nice to let Test Tube take a lead in the story as opposed to Fan. In season two with Egg, it was largely a Fan story that Test Tube would step into. Here, it was fun exploring Test Tube get so caught up in the excitement of creation for the sake of creation that she didn't connect the dots on how her creation may not experience that same excitement. It felt like a nice evolution of where we left her off, now that she's better-equipped to empathize, while also giving her a story that directly hinges on everything she's prided herself on since the start of the show. But I totally get how the parallels to season two's story with Baby Shimmer could lead anyone to feel that we're treading similar ground.

I think that one of the most notable differences is that the story of Bot is Bot's story. I enjoyed the lil mystery and all, but to me the element I've been most excited about has been allowing Bot to have a pleasant time being themself and existing in a way that feels freeing to them. I had made some pitches early-on in the conceptualization of Bot that were more baked-into the pre-established lore, and would tie them more closely with Bow, but honestly I couldn't be happier with where we landed, because my originally route wouldn't make it easy to tell a story about Bot NOT being Bow, and this has meant a lot to me.

More to come!

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conniemb · 9 months

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The difference between "fanatics and gamers"

So basically I'm just gonna word vomit about this topic in regards to destiny because it's been on my mind a lot recently since I've came back to destiny and I've been watching a few vids on the whole discourse surrounding destiny and it's state as a game and feel like I've kinda come to a resolution in my mind about why a lot of this is happening and why some people feel differently about the game. PSA this post isn't supposed to be some big angry discussion trying to say people's concerns about the game is wrong or invalid I kinda jus wanna spew my thoughts out there but do feel free to comment your thoughts about it if you wanna discuss it!

So I start by differentiating between "fanatics" and "gamers" which probably seems like a cringey way to put it but it's the only kind of physical representation of both sides that I could think of. So fanatics are people I'd describe as being absorbed in every aspect of the game, lore, art comics, gameplay, characters etc the type of people who are out here writing fanfics and creating ocs where as gamers are people that are here solely for the game itself. They are playing a game for its mechanics and enjoyment and their involvement in the greater community doesn't span much further than that. They might be interested in the lore (obviously you'd have to enjoy the story to play the game in the first place) but they're not out here making their own content in regards to the game i.e reading/creating fanfics and ocs etc. Now after establishing what each side means from what I can tell the people most upset by the state of the game are the gamers while the ones defending the Devs and just having a good time within the game and it's universe are the fanatics.

So why are people mad?

Well both sides seem mad in the current situation of destiny. The gamers are upset that the contents running dry and the fanatics are getting upset about the gamers constant anger and bashing directed towards the game and the Devs. Like don't get me wrong I understand where people come from when they're annoyed about bugs, it makes the game harder to play and then there's the issue of content running dry and then the vaulting of older content (something that I find extremely upsetting). But I think the constant negative approach towards these issues isn't always healthy to the game, play wise and the actual players mental health wise. I recently watched Mr Fruits video on this talking about the video Datto made and I think the main message there is something that so many gamers need to keep in mind and it's that if your not having fun playing a game and you can't find anymore satisfaction from it play something else. If your playing a game for the content it's Devs are providing you and that content isn't as fulfilling and entertaining for you anymore then just play something else for a while. I think a lot of people have these really unrealistic expectations as to what the Devs can produce within the game and I think if you believe the Devs are seeing the discourse going on in the community and people voicing their issues with the game and are just deciding to sit back idly and do nothing about it then you're a fukin idiot. The people at Bungie are just that, people. People with limitations. There's probably an infinite amount of reasons as to why the issues that're there are there and these things will take a long ass time to fix. If they were easy to fix everyone and their nan would be making bestselling games. In terms of content running dry for people of course this is gonna happen. There's a limit on people's creativity and the amount of content a single group of people are able to produce. And with the amount of content already in the game it's gonna be extremely hard to make new content that's cohesive and makes sense in the greater universe of the game. So yeah it might've only taken you a couple tens of hours to complete the campaign content with your clan full of experienced players but that's not what it's there for in my opinion. The game isn't there to just be played it's there to be enjoyed fully and completely. This is content that the creators have poured months of their lives into thinking up and designing. If destiny was pumping out content at the rate some people seem to think it should come out the game would be a shit show. It would be riddled with plot holes, stuff that just doesn't make sense and would eventually fuck up the game even more gameplay wise. I'm sorry but I don't want this game to turn into some sci-fi Fortnite. I want the Devs to take their time making compelling content that's actually engaging.

Superiority of the fanatics

Please hear the sarcasm in that subtitle but the point of what I'm saying is the fanatics are the ones winning here and I think this is the fangroup that the games actually directed towards. Destiny is a storytellers game, that much is obvious from the games expansive lore and world building. Your given a platform to create your own character and create their story following the campaigns that the company themselves are providing which is something very reminiscent of ttrpgs like dnd or lancer. Obviously it's not got the same customisation as those games but the idea is there. The reason why a lot of fanatics aren't getting super upset about the "lack of content" in the game and it's bugs is because they understand that the content is fucking there but sometimes you gotta warp the content yourself a little to keep up that sense of enjoyment. People do this by writing fanfics, creating art, creating ocs etc. When Bungie aren't directly giving us content to play we are making our own content and sharing it with others because this is what destiny is for us it's not just a game it's a world we're experiencing and being a part of. And that's my point, destiny isn't a game for gameplay mechanics sake and if your playing it for that reason and getting upset then it should be obvious your playing the wrong game and maybe it's time to take a break and try something new. If your wanting a game that spoon feeds you content to keep you hooked then I don't think Destiny is the game for you it's never been that sort of game in my opinion. When I came back to destiny I was hyped to dive head first into lore books, video essays, blogs because I knew I had a lot to learn and create myself and that's what I expect from destiny and tbh it's what I'd think any newcomer to the game should expect. And in terms of bugs in the game obviously they're annoying but I feel like from having a greater respect for the Devs and the content they're making your in a mindset that makes it easier to digest that these things take time. For a company to be making all this content, world building, server mechanics, game mechanics and so much more it's gonna be rough to get to every single bug in the game. And tbh I've been playing the game again for almost a month now and I haven't actually experienced that many bugs in the game, no more than what I've seen in other games I've been playing but I want everyone to take that with a heavy pinch of salt because obviously everyone's experience within the game is different.

The issues of paywalls and vaulting content.

Now this. THIIIISS. I get it, I really do having to pay for seasonal content and constant dlcs is probably the most frustrating thing about modern gaming. But that's the thing it's not just a destiny issue this is a modern gaming worldwide issue. Fucking hell even Pokémon is drifting into the dlc hell hole and paywalls with many of their services. Like it's just apart of gaming now and it can be frustrating but it's something you kinda gotta accept and it's not something you're gonna really be able to avoid no matter what game you play that isn't an indie game. As for the vaulting of older content and the removal of game aspects as seasons progress this is probably the single most frustrating thing about the game right now for me especially as a returning player but I also see why destiny is doing it. The game is reaching a size which is becoming unmanageable and the removal of some content is a necessary evil to keep the game going in my opinion. And to Bungies credit they have announced they will be no longer vaulting dlc content going forwards since last year I believe. And look yeah you can't play the content anymore but it's still out there to enjoy in the form of lore and video essays and play through videos. It's not the same but it's something and I've been enjoying sifting through the content available to me. Again I feel this is where the difference in destiny fan comes in. Gamers aren't satisfied with just consuming content about the game which is a totally fair stance to have on the game but there's also a number of games out there that aren't doing this sort of stuff cus they dont have to and maybe those are the type of games that you should play.

The state of the game for new and returning players.

Now this is probably my biggest fukin gripe with the gamers side of the community because in my opinion the biggest thing that's damaging the experience for new and returning players isn't the games bugs, it isn't the games slow approach to releasing new content or the vaulting of content, it's the constant negativity being emitted by that side of the community in regards to the game and the Devs as well as their attitude towards people wanting to learn more about the game. When I decided I wanted to make a return to destiny I did what I'd say a lot of other people have done and taken to sites like Reddit to ask questions about the game so I'd have some idea of what to expect coming back in and the responses of got of people who are meant the be "fans" of the game were sickening. Id have to sift through maybe 15 responses telling me to delete the game, I'm an idiot for wanting to play it, the games at its worst state than ever, there's no point even trying, before I found even one post actually giving me the information I was asking for and giving me tips on how to get back into the game. The only thing that actually made me contemplate not getting back into destiny was the constant negativity being emitted by that side of the community during that time. Not the negative aspects of the game that're definitely there, it was just the sheer miserable energy I was receiving from these people. And that's the thing while yes the game really isn't at its best state for new or returning players there are still ways to make it work and I found those ways buried underneath all the bullshit negativity the others were spouting. This is what's hurting the games ratings in my opinion. The games not at its worst state it's ever been for new and returning players entirely because of what the Devs are doing, a huge chunk of that issue is the negativity coming from this side of the player base.

In conclusion.

If your not enjoying destiny at this moment in time then stop playing for a bit. Maybe consider that this game isn't for you. Voice your opinions and concerns in a respectful manner. And for new people wanting to get into destiny jump right in! If you wanna get the most out of the game then it's gonna take some effort ima he honest. It's gonna take more than just hopping on the game and playing. And if that's not your vibe then that's totally fair not every game is gonna be for every player. And take my advice if you do wanna learn more about the game and how to get into it please stay away from Reddit. Stick to Tumblr people are actually nice here and wanna educate you in a positive and reaffirming way that is healthy for the state of the game and it's community. Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.

#destiny 2 #destiny the game #vent post #bungie #new destiny player #kindergaurdian

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pjsk-writin · 1 year

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Heyo! So nice to see you alright and healthy. I wanted to request twins hcs with minori, tenmas (separate), and the hinomoris (also separate). What I meant from separate is reader is the twin of the younger and vice versa.

weheh ty!! been having ups and downs but yk. ppl will be ill sometimes/lh but absolutely, hope u like this !! <3

♡ TWIN - Minori Hanasato, Tsukasa Tenma, Saki Tenma, Shizuku Hinomori and Shiho Hinomori x Reader

Minori:

You KNOW that you are forced to be exposed to idols as Minori's twin-

She loves idols so much!! They give her nothing but hope, so she exposes you to them! If you're also into idols, she'll do choreo with you in the living room!

You're also there for her when she continuously gets rejected by idol industries. She never gives up, of course! She just feels disappointed as the days pass

You'll find that she perks up after she starts her idol training, and you can imagine your delight when she comes home rambling to you about MMJ!

She drags you to almost every single concert that she can, knowing that you've been her number one fan for years! She appreciates your support so much!

Unless you don't like dogs, the two of you will walk Samo together, and she may or may not ramble about her groupmates-

She adores you with all of her heart! You know how she cheers Haruka on? She does the exact same with you, she even made a little banner with your name on it to carry around-

Tsukasa:

As is the case with Saki, Tsukasa always tried his best to make you smile! You might've only been a few minutes apart, but he will make sure you're happy!

As you both grow up, your childhoods are.. something. You find him wanting to pursue becoming a star, which is good for him! It's just.. interesting to see how he seemed to be forgetting a lot of things.

He ranted a lot about how he thought he deserved a bigger stage than the Wonder Stage, but you could also tell how overtime, it was growing on him, as his groupmates were

He resolved to going on the journey he was going on with WxS, and you could tell that they all meant a lot to him!

Despite that, you and Saki are always his number one supporters, so he often invites you both to shows!! He'll give you a big hug at the end of each one

If you like messing with him, pull out the fake bugs. He will scream out of his mind but he also adores you too much to stay upset at you...Just never give him another heart attack-

The two of you also more than likely tag team hanging out with Saki, she's your little sister so you both (mostly Tsukasa) plan little fun events for the three of you!

Saki:

You and Saki were practically inseparable! Two little twins running around with Tsukasa chasing after you

Things certainly shift when she gets hospitalized, but you don't mind one bit. You visit her constantly (as does Tsukasa, but he gets thrown out for noise complaints-)

When she gets out of the hospital, she tries to bond with Leo/Need again, only to find that the dynamic is weird. Since you were close with them all as well, you knew how strange it felt

The two of you worked together to try and get the gang back together again, and it works! Leo/Need forms, and Saki is happier than ever!

You are obviously dragged along to practices, Shiho will probably tell her to calm down because she's just so excited to have you there with them!

There are times where she pushes herself past her limit, and you basically have everything on hand to help her out. Twin teamwork!

She just adores you, Tsukasa and the rest of Leo/Need so much!! She constantly takes you around, wanting to live out the middle school life that she always wanted!

Shizuku:

Shizuku has an...interesting and very different life growing up compared to you, but of course, she still adores you!

She never really wanted to be an idol, but she decided to roll with it. You definitely can tell that the life is both exciting and terrifying to her-

She'll ramble about being an idol with you, eyes sparkling as she describes how fun it is!...At least, at first.

She hears all about how she's only famous for her looks, and she can only come to you for comfort through it all. Thankfully, it all changes once she joins MMJ!

You can tell just how much happier she is, and she loves nothing more than to gush about you to her groupmates as she brings you around backstage

We all know had bad she is with directions and technology, so most of the time you're the one to help her (unless you're also just as bad, then Shiho has to deal with it.)

Shiho is thankful that you exist, because you definitely take away some of the attention Shizuku showers her with- You're both just gushed over by your sister!

Shiho:

Shiho has always been the type to stay closed off and quiet, but as her twin, you're part of the group of people allowed to "bother" her

It would definitely be strange to see you both without the other, so of course you were brought along to hang out with the rest of Leo/Need

You noticed she started to close herself off even more, the only person she didn't seem to isolate from was you. Even then, she didn't want you to be by her for long

You weren't entirely sure of the specifics, but she came home clutching her bass guitar, smiling as she told you about Leo/Need. It was the happiest you'd seen her

She occasionally drags you along to practices, and has to pry all of them off of you because they missed hanging out with you as well-

You're also the only person she willingly shows her pet games to. Will she embarrassed out of her mind? Yes. But she trusts you-

Also another case where your existence shifts Shizuku's attention between you both, which Shiho is very thankful for-

#project sekai x reader #pjsk x reader #minori hanasato x reader #hanasato minori x reader #tsukasa tenma x reader #tenma tsukasa x reader #saki tenma x reader #tenma saki x reader #shizuku hinomori x reader #hinomori shizuku x reader #shiho hinomori x reader #hinomori shiho x reader

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an-emovision · 2 years

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Hello, I really like your Yelan headcanons ❤️❤️

I want her so badly but I run out of primogems 🥲

Can I ask for a Yelan kissing headcanons? I would really appreciate it!

Thanks you ❤️❤️❤️

A/N: Absolutely, i hope you get her and if you've gotten her already i hope you enjoy her Warning(s): A tad spicy ——————•°•✿•°•——————••——————•°•✿•°•—————— ❀- You had been practically begging for her attention ❀- Of course she couldn't give it to you, she had some serious work to be doing, work that she had been holding off on for days now ❀- And so she left your shared bed, off to look over whatever info her informants had brought back to her ❀- Leaving you to pout and try to find something to entertain yourself. ❀- But that was simply impossible, especially when you knew Yelan was just in the other room probably bored out of her mind as she scanned her documents ❀- And so you did what any sensible lover would do, go into her office and bug her until she caved ❀- And so you did, strutting in and plopping yourself on her desk, forcing her to meet your eyes ❀- "I already told you im busy pretty thing" Yelan said, tone cool as ever as she pulled you off her desk and onto her lap. Her chair squeaked softly at your shared weight ❀- You started to protest, pouting at her and mumbling at how unfair it was, to which she brought up the fact that she only has this much work to do because of all the days she took off for you ❀- You ignored her though, continuing your bratty display. Anyone else might've been annoyed at this point but Yelan was amused. ❀- "Alright fine, ill give you what you want" She said which made you smile but you frowned when the word 'but' fell from her stained lips. of course there was a catch ❀- "Im not gonna stop until im satisfied, You're pulling me away from my work. atleast make it worth my time" From there it was a blur ❀- She wasnt gentle, keeping your body firm against yours as she kissed you without mercy or remorse. Stealing your breath and only pulling away for a second or two at a time ❀- It was clear to you then, as you struggled to breathe against Yelans plush lips that this was your punishment ❀- Maybe in the future you'd learn to be more patient

——————•°•✿•°•——————••——————•°•✿•°•—————— Feel free to request!

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ethocomments · 1 year

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in the comments of lp episode 387 exiled by minecraft there's speculation as to whether etho's sudden and disastrous ability to travel 64 blocks in the overworld per 1 block in the nether (instead of the normal 8:1) is a glitch, or him trolling us, and additionally whether he got trolled by a commenter. i am here to settle the debate for once and for all.

in the intro to the episode, etho spends time messing around because he's totally out of ideas for the day. he still has the 115 levels from the previous episode and decides to go look for an ice spikes biome a viewer had told him about a while ago because his ice tray is (probably) broken due to biome changes. but he gets sent to 22,400 -88,000 instead and has to kill himself to get home.

can't find the comment again but someone alleged he admitted to trolling or maybe taking advantage of a glitch he'd already known about, but i can find no such tweet (just the automated one linking to the episode on upload day).

this is true; MC-56799 was resolved in snapshot 14w32a, a month and a half after etho's episode. some commenters reported similar glitches, although at least one is a separate bug related to eating/sleeping while entering nether portals which causes you to teleport to the overworld's coordinates in the nether.

funnily enough, both MC-56799 and its merged ticket MC-56804 link to etho's ep 387 as proof. the only other video footage uses Etho's seed and the exact same coordinates as in his LP episode, so it wasn't etho's newfound video editing skills that are the cause. (it also means that etho and his viewers are pretty much the sole reason the bug got fixed when it did.)

unfortunately, I've found no footage of a 64x nether travel glitch that isn't using etho's seed and specific coordinates; if this ever happened to you during 1.7 or its snapshots, i'd love to know because it's weird as hell.

lack of other situations causing the glitch makes it hard to tell, but this theory is compelling especially. etho says that a viewer told him there was an ice spikes biome there, so if he did get the coords from a viewer that person was either trolling with the glitch or trying to help.

it turns out there was an ice spike biome in etho's seed in 1.7 at the correct overworld coordinates for the portal he builds, as pointed out by someone in the comments.

anyway, it turns out that etho really didn't secretly develop immaculate acting skills but it was one big coincidence. i'd love to see who told him about the ice biome but god only knows how many episodes prior that might've been or even if it was on the LP and not another series.

if etho prunes his world download chunks, this one survived perhaps because he revisited and lingered trying to figure out what the hell happened, so you can (allegedly) teleport to 22,400 -80,000 and see the remains for yourself.

thanks for reading this extra-long, extra-niche episode of ethomythbusting.

this is the most interesting thing to me about the glitch, that it may be related to issues with glass panes rather than coordinates - but i simply don't have the time to load up pre-1.8 snapshots just to test a bunch of random nether portals at different coordinates etc. when the bug is fixed. i just love discontinued features.

lack of tweets:

seed map:

#ethocomments mythbusting #long post #i love piecing together ancient minecraft bugs/features/drama from ethocomments they are so full of misinfo all the time.

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transingthoseformers · 7 months

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I sent an ask to another blog but realised you might enjoy it too, do I'm just going to try and recreate it.

The Quintessons are back! The Decepticons and Autobots are forced into an alliance to defeat them.

With the Quintessons defeated, high on victory, and with a resurgence of old feelings, Megatron and Optimus make a mistake. They proceed to make that mistake again in different positions throughout the night.

But after the war, bots just don't want to fight anymore. And so a fragile peace is established, and Cybertron is somehow restored, just without Optimus dying.

Megatron and Optimus aren't getting into fights during the regular meeting, during which they discuss the running of Cybertron and other such things. There might've been a quickie or two (or several) in a supply closet when tensions were running high. Megatron often finds himself distracted, staring at Prime. He feels oddly... charged up. He wants to fight him, and then he wants to ride him until his hip struts break.

It must be this peace. It's messing with his processor.

It is during one of these meetings when Megatron stands up, most likely to yell at somebody being an idiot, when he feels liquid gush down his thighs and he looks down in confusion.

"Uh," he says, eloquently.

Later, when he's resting on his medical berth with a decidedly less restful sparkling squirming in his arms, he thinks that this peace might not be so bad after all.

Even if his daughter is trying to chew on him.

Consequence #571 of being a big motherfucker: I say consequence but also I'd say that's a feature not a bug

They proceed to make that same mistake again in different positions throughout the night

Best fucking line ever

At some level mecha must have been suspicious at the lack of fights, at least some probably guessed they were involved.

mm yes peace suuuure, Megatron darling, it's the peace

I'd love to puzzle out what other side effects he brushed off

oh Megatron. Just because the war is over by far doesn't mean things are going to be peaceful (especially with this new addition) :3

#if i had a nickel every time Megatron had a kid after not knowing he was pregnant i could buy us a 4 piece chicken nugget meal at McDonalds #megop #valveplug #some of it us #Megatron #Optimus prime #mechpreg

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athousandbyeol · 10 months

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discussion #1 (only friends): stray thoughts on topmew vs mewray vs topboston

i've been saying that i'm not expecting an end-game pair from the 3 couples we have in only friends. if there is, i hate to say this but i think it will be topmew? even though i don't like this because i want mew to grow as a person and not succumb to his romantic feelings for top, they might be the end-game (if p'jojo ever considers having one).

the idea of only friends is already crazy and dark. i think by now, we all know these six characters are intertwined physically, mentally and emotionally. but it's weird how i still feel so heavy in my stomach and immense pain in my chest when i think about all possibilities, especially topboston and mewray. this unsettling notion is bugging me every day. and until the moment only friends airs, it'll continue to spark more questions in my head.

topboston vs topmew

does anyone feel this way too? like, i have a feeling that boston purposely introduced top to mew because he knew top treated everyone as a one-night stand. not more, not less. but when he realised that top might've fallen for mew, boston started panicking because he was top's fuckbuddy for years (?) yet he couldn't make top look at him the way top look at mew. perhaps boston liked top from the get-go and found him super attractive but top said, "i don't roll that way." with no strings attached. no feelings involved. so why on earth top gave mew a chance to be more than a one-night stand?

topboston would definitely be messy because even after top had a relationship with mew, he would still find boston because the physical connection would be so hard to discard and they've bounded their bodies together for so long. it was like coming home. but this wasn't quite a home. it was more like a hotel. top could come and go. and he would 'pay' boston with some good fuck and boston would be satisfied because that was the idea of fuckbuddies, no? then why did it hurt when top treated mew with something close to love?

perhaps, top was more accustomed to boston's body than mew's. knew boston's weak spots even with eyes closed. maybe he would satisfy that wicked pleasure with boston more than mew. probably, mew fulfilled the tender and humane side of top but not the animalistic and lustful part of top. top needed that from boston and he couldn't stop— wouldn't— because boston had always been his thing— person— and no matter how downgrading it sounded, boston would be glad to be just that for top.

yet, it wasn't after he knew top and mew were something else— something boston and top would never become. and that fucked boston up. really badly.

mew was an obstacle. mew was a stealer. mew was everything boston wasn't in top's heart. mew's presence in top's life stopped him from seeking boston. and that would drive boston completely ballsy.

mewray vs topmew

from the mock trailer, we knew ray liked mew. probably for the longest time. and i find it so ironic when mew confidently said, "i know what people feel about me when i look at them," to which ray replied, "then, what do i feel towards you?" it was so ironic because ray liked mew but it's either, 1) mew didn't know or 2) mew knew, but he didn't want to acknowledge it because ray is his best friend and he just couldn't force himself to look at ray with love. the romantic kind.

but then, top came.

top— ray's biggest challenger.

i think ray knew top and boston had a thing going on. and he believed whatever hell boston planned for mew and top would last only for a night because it was what boston wanted, no? boston thought he was just helping mew let loose. four years in university but never slept with anyone? what a loser. mew, you need to get laid! and in boston's eyes, top was the perfect candidate because top would never develop romantic feelings for his one-night partner. top didn't know what love and commitment meant. boston knew better about this.

but mew was different. and top saw that difference. and it lured top to stay— perhaps he thought he could wreck mew from his innocence— definitely would. in one way or another. mew would be so intoxicated by this new emotion— budding love and dependence and infatuation. it won't be easy for mew to stop liking top.

so ray might've turned a blind eye, despite sensing the impending doom. he wouldn't tell mew he knew of boston's scheme because if it could make him a shoulder to cry on for mew, that would be fantastic. closer to mew as an emotional support was better than closer to mew as only friends. ray might seize the opportunity because he knew top would fuck up and boston would never let this slide so it was his chance to show himself to mew— i'm here. i'm always here for you, mew.

ray would try to be everything mew had always wanted and that person wasn't top and yes, mew, i'm here. he would show mew the world where cheating didn't exist and his love for mew was real and growing and never ceasing. but mew would still hope. because mew was stupid and he was so in love and he couldn't shake this fresh feeling of fixation because top (might be) his first in everything. those long nights of making love, hand-holding and cheek kisses, back-hugs and sloppy kisses on the kitchen counter, warm and long hugs after classes end and everything in between— mew couldn't discard top just like that. but once a person twisted his belief in something so precious like this— love— something clicked in mew and it would be the end of his kindness.

mew vs top, ray and boston

what top, boston and ray didn't know was mew would shatter them all. mew would pull them close and whisper to their ears, "you haven't seen the best side of me. i'll destroy you all."

because he loved top but top took his love for granted. because boston was an asshole and the cause of mew's most painful heartbreak. because ray was mew's reliable friend but he, too, saw mew as a subject of pity and mew couldn't— wouldn't— let anyone step on him again.

so mew might plot the most cunning plan ever because he is smart. he could be the cruellest heartbreaker and still have top bowing to his feet, begging to be forgiven— boston losing this battle because who the fuck he thinks he is?— and ray hopelessly hoping for another chance to be his friend.

and when that time comes, i hope mew won't go easy on them.

conclusion

the complexity of topmew > mewray > topboston is so mindboggling that i'm honestly having doubts to watch this drama. it's very confusing because i know the premise of this drama (from the mock trailer) and it's beyond complicated and dark and sinister and dirty and so humane. but i'm still afraid because deep down, i know all six of them will suffer. and i have a problem dealing with people suffering. i just can't find the heart in me to watch them breaking into pieces.

i'm inclining more to mew because i see so much 'innocence' in him that i can't bear knowing these arseholes will take advantage of his untainted idealogy of love to satisfy whatever purpose they have. especially since top (might be) mew's first deeper and more intimate connection, and to know this person that he loves whole-heartedly is fucking— has been fucking— with his best friend for years; i can't imagine the mental and emotional breakdown mew will experience.

yet, i hope, something in him will change and that is, i won't let these motherfuckers use me again. that will be a fantastic character development and i'm beyond elated to see how p'book carries his role as mew.

whatever it is, i hope this drama will show those sides of human complexity, discussing the paths a human will take when their ideas are challenged and their hopes are destroyed, especially when love, envy, anger and vengeance are involved.

[1 | 2 | 3 | 4 (i) | 4 (ii) | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12]

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