#(Over)thinking to navigate the world is my life lol and I think its okay as long as i can find a place where i can like. Live. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bestworstcase · 4 months

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Okay, sorry in advance for the consecutive asks (I'm the anon who asked abour Theo and the GoL) it's just it's been ages since I've seen fresh, thoughtful takes on the show in the RWBY FNDM shsjsksksjsj and your metas are scratching a particular corner of my brain lol. My one other question is what would be the state of the world when all is said and done with GoL's ascension and the Ozlem reconciliation? And what would be the fates of characters like Ruby, Summer, Cinder, and the other Maidens?

i enjoy being encouraged to ramble :P

anyway, i think the ending after the climactic resolution is always the most difficult to part of a story to anticipate in anything but the broadest strokes. generally, my thinking here is informed by a few key tenets of my reading of the story so far:

i think the grimm do have souls, and that being grimm is not what's wrong with salem or a problem that must be solved

i do not think any currently dead characters will be brought back to life, but we may see one or more of them return to a new life

i think remnant's cycle of life and death will settle into a form of reincarnation that is like ascension but not the same (transcendence)

i do not think that salem, cinder, or ozma will die by the end of the story, but i am unsure about summer rose

i think that the huntsmen academies are a failed institution that will have no place in the world anymore, but that the identity of a "huntress" or "huntsmen" can be reclaimed and changed into something better

i think the story is building to a positive ending that refutes the idea of "happily ever after;" it will feel like a hopeful new beginning.

specifically on that last point, ozpin's afterward in fairytales of remnant tells us what kind of ending we should expect:

No one is guaranteed a happy ending, but the tales told about Remnant and its people do hold a bittersweet promise: who we are and what we do are important enough to be remembered and shared. We exist. Our existence means something. Stories will survive longer than all of us, but through them, we may continue on. So, rather than “And they lived happily ever after,” I favor a more honest and hopeful closing: And they lived.

in terms of what impact the god of light ascending might have (aside from the obvious of removing the existential threat he poses to remnant), i don't think there will be any. this world—remnant—is not the world he and his brother created, and hasn't been for quite some time. the god of light only mattered at all because ozma believed he did.

(this relates to why i think it will be easy to beat him, in the end. remnant is not his world; he did not create these humans, and he has no real power over them. it matters—i think more than symbolically—that his promised day of judgment needs to begin with humans inviting him to come back to adjudicate.)

so, remnant will change because its people decide to change it. how?

if i am right about the grimm being a kind of people, the story cannot end in their destruction and the huntsmen academies must be reckoned with as an institution of war, not protection. the resolution that i find most likely is that grimm will still present a danger, but with the explicit possibility of peaceful coexistence between humans and grimm.

the huntsmen academies as they were do not belong in a world where humans, faunus, and grimm can live in harmony. but lasting peace doesn't happen overnight, and as ozma is learning in the aftermath of the great war, it isn't enough to sign a treaty and then sweep every new conflict under the rug. it takes real cooperation and hard work and trust and honesty.

i think this is what huntsmen and huntresses will become after this war is over: mediators between humans and grimm. the bridge, not the bulwark.

and this is why i don't think salem will die at the end of her story. the grimm need someone who will advocate for them, and humans need guidance in navigating peace with their ancient enemies. salem has already begun to do this in a limited way—she taught cinder and summer how to communicate with grimm. and if i'm right about her historical identification with the faunus, she may have already done this once before, long ago.

so,

i think salem and ozma will both get what they've always wanted: ozma's curse will be broken and her exile ended, and they can come together again. salem will be more involved in the effort to rebuild and renew, partly to atone for her violent destruction of the old order but mostly because she wants to build a new world. whereas i think ozma will let go and take a step back to focus on his own healing and figuring out what he wants to be and who he really is without the weight of the world on his shoulders.

cinder, i think will end the story at a point where she has found peace with salem and made peace with her past through that reconciliation, and is ready to close this chapter of her life and open a new one. she can't stay in salem's shadow forever; she needs to leave the nest and find herself. my feeling is that cinder's arc will probably have the most open-ended resolution out of the core cast, although i do think that she will keep the arm and (unlike a lot of cinder fans!) i'm not convinced she'll leave to go on a journey.

her anger is righteous, even though her indiscriminate violence is not, and i don't think cinder will relinquish that anger as part of her villain -> hero arc—because she doesn't need to. instead, she'll find hope and hope will transform her anger into a driving constructive force. in the end, i think cinder will be VERY KEEN to have her say in what the world will be; what makes her evil now becomes what inspires her to be good.

summer… it depends a lot on who summer rose is now, after fourteen years with salem. i've seen the sentiment that if she is alive, she will have to die in the end because her absence and ruby's grief are so central to the story that it would undercut the story's theme for her to be "given back," but i do not agree with that at all. summer being alive now doesn't change the fact of her absence or the pain she left behind—just recontextualizes it. her heroic death is revealed as a profound betrayal. she left to join salem.

will ruby or yang even want her back, once they know that? can they forgive her? does it matter why she did it? what happens if ruby wants to reconcile with her but yang does not—or vice versa? how does summer feel, as their mother and as their adversary? what about her relationship with cinder, whom she may well have known for longer than she knew her own children?

i think it might go either way, but i err on the side of thinking that summer will live and be on civil terms with her children and teammates but not reintegrated as part of the family. given her experience as a former huntress and salem's general, she might become a teacher or otherwise be a part of establishing peace between grimm and humans.

ruby, i think, is probably not going to know what to do with herself after they actually somehow did the impossible and saved the world. figuring that out is half of what ruby/oscar is for but i doubt she'll really grasp that there is an "after the war" at all until it hits her. and then what? i think, out of all the characters in this story, she and oscar are the ones who are most likely to just leave for a while. they're the youngest, and they're "special" in ways that multiply the weight on their shoulders (silver-eyed and ozpin's heir). moreover, ruby enjoyed the trip across anima and has expressed a desire to go exploring several times; likewise, oscar wanted to see more of the world than his farm but has so far been prevented from doing so on his own terms. so i think they might set out on a journey just for the sake of it.

winter, raven, and obviously cinder are the endgame maidens. i am pretty confident about that.

also, this might be going against the grain—i don't know—but i don't think the maiden cycle is going to change in any significant way. i also don't think ancient magic will "come back" or the maidens will cease to be or anything like that. the idea that the maidens are innately harmful or burdensome is silly; the problem is the dehumanizing system ozpin built to control the maidens, and that will be dismantled. then they can just… exist for themselves.

i think weiss is going to return to solitas and rebuild mantle—not atlas, mantle. obviously not by herself, but she is taking the loss of her home very hard and her guiding motivation has always been a determination to define herself apart from her father and redeem her family's name and legacy. math.

similarly, it seems pretty open and shut that the bees will get what they wanted from the beginning: blake comes into her own as an advocate for the faunus and bridge between cultures, specifically in a manner that involves a lot of traveling with yang. her fierce ambition and focus answers yang's lack of ambition (and complete comfort with being a supporter and cheerleader for her loved ones) in a very complementary way. again, math.

i think the ending i'm most curious and uncertain about right now is jaune's. what they did with him in V9 was really interesting and very specific, and also took a turn in a direction that has been making me go hmm in the back of my mind periodically. i wish he'd been in the second rwby x jl movie even just for one scene so that i could have a sense for where he's at emotionally in vacuo.

he's important for the ozlem reconciliation and narratively intertwined with cinder in a way that almost but doesn't quite feel like the set up for an enemies-to-lovers romantic arc and the weiss/jaune flirtation in V9 is followed by what seem to me to be clear narrative signals against that pairing too. weiss, jaune, and cinder all repeat salem and it's striking to me that all of them refract the tower in similar ways: weiss is her own knight-in-shining-armor, jaune wants to be "the hero," and cinder fights her way out alone in pure desperations.

possibly there is a point being made here about what the hero tells the girl at the end of 'the girl in the tower': "all you needed was a little help, but in the end you freed yourself." even in the fairytale that is not really true and i think there is perhaps a thin line between giving salem agency and misrepresenting the tower as something she did not, in fact, need saving from—and thence ozpin's rather bizarre insinuation in commentary that the girl might have been an evil manipulator all along.

and then we have cinder (the abused child who truly did free herself, alone) trying to kill weiss (the abused child who, like salem, had agency in her own escape but needed serious help to achieve it) to hurt jaune (the "damsel in distress" who dreams of being his own hero). and in V9 jaune stagnates until he resembles ozpin more than salem and it's weiss who helps him find himself again. it's an interesting suggestion of what might be going on in salem's head, if nothing else.

but there's also jaune's simmering resentment of ozpin and his outburst lashing out at oscar in V6, which makes his corruption in V9 particularly interesting. it's about changing perspective and gaining insight that leads to greater empathy and forgiveness but who for whom? jaune for ozpin certainly, but whether it foreshadows salem coming to understand ozma better or the other way around or both i'm not sure.

i think it will start to clarify quickly enough once we get to V10. a lot depends on where jaune falls emotionally once the dust has settled. the guilt he feels about penny and alyx have risen to the surface and being able to save neo was not nothing but those decades festering haven't just disappeared, and he'll be dealing with this guilt in conjunction with ruby's and winter's and pietro's grief. it's easier to be cynical, but he has his friends again, but he's experienced horrors none of them can fully grasp…

much to think about.

assuming gillian asturias is a significant player in the vacuo arc, i think she and jaune are going to be narratively linked… somehow. their semblances are mirrored, his lineage of warriors reflects her claim to royal heritage, her absolute devotion to her brother matches his absolute devotion to his friends, she was a prodigy who dropped out and he cheated his way into beacon. there is a lot of really obvious potential for character foils here.

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moondragon618 · 6 months

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So uh. I think I've decided that I want to be a little bit more open about some things on here bc honestly trying not to acknowledge it is just causing me a ton of unnecessary stress (and I'm sure as fuck not acknowledging it irl lmaooo) so yeah. So I'll start with this: I'm currently unemployed and living with my parents (mom and stepdad) and my younger but also adult brother (they all have some form of income but it's only just barely enough to get by). Now on its own the whole all of us living together thing should not be that big of a deal apparently according to what I've learned from hearing other ppl's experiences in similar situations. Unfortunately my parents do not think like this. My mom especially is convinced that we are literally ruining her life so y'know that's fun (:

Okay but seriously. I'm about to sound like I'm trying to downplay this (and maybe I am bc. Yk.) but like a good 80% or so of the time it's. Fine. We get along okay. But I know that's only bc we never acknowledge The Problems outside of the few bad days and we always just go on like those never even happened. And here's what I mean by bad days btw: ""Family Meetings"". Yeah that phrase is literally a fucking trigger for me now it's fucking bullshit. When I was younger it meant "me getting screamed at about how fucked up I am and how fucked I'll be in the "real world" and how I'm just "a soft spoiled little bitch bc I never got my ass beat" (like my brother. bc he's definitely fine and has no issues at all lmaooo) (and usually without the bitch part aside from once when I was a teenager) and now it's more "me getting screamed at by my mom abt how I'm ruining her life and her marriage" etc. etc. So yeah. My stepdad is a little better in that he only yelled at me one time when I was like 12 I think? And then never again. And he seems to at least understand that if screaming at still hasn't "fixed" me after 25 fucking years then it's probably not going to so yeah. And he did actually kind of stand up for me during the last one (in late September-ish) which I know isn't much but it's still way more than anyone else has done so I do appreciate it.

Anyway the last one was really fun (terrible) I got the usual + being told I being disrespectful for not coming out to the living room bc I was having a panic attack and quite literally frozen and unable to move 👍👍👍 And I've also been limited to just my phone since then bc my mom took my computer (bc god forbid we consider there might be a reason I'm on it so much) and still hasn't given it back and tbh I think I'd rather kms than ask for it back so that's fun too (:

I am aware that this is abusive behavior and that screaming at your child for any reason is in fact child abuse btw. It took me until very recently to come to terms with that even while knowing that (and I'm probably still not fully there tbh) but I know. It's that fucking generational trauma bullshit yk. My mom's side of the family is Fucked Up like her parents were terrible and their (mostly her dad's idk the other ones lol) parents. Yeah I'm not even comfortable talking about them right now that's like a whole other thing lmao. But yeah I know that doesn't even remotely make it okay.

And yeah like the day after shit like that happens we just never acknowledge it again until everyone's losing their shit again because nothing ever changes. Believe it or not being screamed at does not help me figure out how to navigate getting a source of income or how I'm supposed to do anything when we sure as fuck can't afford another vehicle or how I'm ever going to be able to afford my own place to live lmaooo. And I also literally cannot even talk to them about any of this without losing my ability to speak so that really doesn't help either (: I sure as fuck haven't tried calling out the bullshit either bc fuck that there's no fucking way that's going over well and I couldn't even if I wanted to (: (: (:

So I'm just kinda stuck here ig. It's really not too bad (most of the time). I'm not saying that to minimize or invalidate anything either I just want you all to know that it's not like super urgent or anything, I'm not in danger, my mental health isn't great obviously but I'm not at risk of hurting myself or suicide or anything. Promise <3 I'm a tenacious bastard sticking around out of pure spite and a desire to keep creating things if nothing else lmao :)

God this is kind of a trauma dump lmao but that about sums it up ig? I'm also very much open to advice if anyone has any <3

#srry if I come across insensitively with my jokes and stuff btw #I'm not trying to be I just cope by making fun of how absurd the logic is now that I know it is lol #vent #tw abuse #tw suicide mention #tw victim blaming

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oceanbaby888 · 2 years

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What Were You Supposed to Learn this Past SuperMoon in Capricorn: PAC ♑️ 🌕✨🦋🔥

Don't steal my shit bitch. Get yo own cards and do yo own reading hoe.

Hey yall!! We about to do some messages for this past full moon in Capricorn!! I realized this is my third written PAC and I want to make sure yall getting yall messages okay honey!! Saturn always bringing something and half the time I don't want it but I'll take it. And also since this SuperMoon was also conjunct Pluto, I know there was alot of emotional upheaval. Yet, I hope it helped you on your journey. I know it did for me as yesterday I was feeling wild myself. So let's go with the pile selection and the rules:

1. It's okay if it doesn't resonate. It may not be time or it may not just be for you. Please feel free to pick another pile. 2. Remember to breathe and have a clear mind when you pick your pile. 3. Tips are appreciated at $DellyRelly 4. This reading is for entertainment purposes only! 5. Readings from TarotLadyTalks (aka Oceanbaby888 aka The Baddest Bitch) is coming THIS WEEKEND ON JULY 16! GET A BOOKING BECAUSE I DON'T KEEP THEM HIGH!!

Pile 1: Frank Ocean

Pile 2: Brent Faiyaz

Pile 3: Giveon

Pile 1:

Cards: A personal issue reaches resolution--Adjustments are required--8 of Pentacles--2 of Swords--Page of Swords--5 of Swords

Pile 1 we are learning how to navigate after the storm. You may have recently found clarity about a certain issue in your life and now it is time for you to adjust and move accordingly. And it is supported with the 2 of Swords being here as well. With the 8 of Pentacles this situation could have been deeply complex, mental, & social since we have all the other cards as swords here. This Supermoon being in Capricorn (since Saturn loves to give us challenges lol) may have challenged you to respond to this situation with alot more maturity than you realize. I feel like with the Page of Swords and 5 of Swords being here this situation or relationship (doesn't have to be limited to romantic) is testing your mental maturity. You can either respond childishly or look at it from a different angle and adjust mentally to understand how can you respond better to this situation, especially if this situation has been built up overtime. For some of yall I hear that this is at your job as well. This SuperMoon is asking you to learn how to detach more from your feelings and first impulse of how you would respond and take your time and transverse this situation and its aftereffects carefully, especially if this situation is social. When I say social I mean it involves alot of people. With this 2 of swords you are at a fork in the road. Think long term about the way you respond. Yes, it's gonna suck and even hurt you got to put your pride to the side, but now that this situation has some more clarity and you have more answers, that doesn't mean you get to gloat too hard because the whole situation isn't complete. Now, it is time for you to learn that yes this situation has more clarity, and even in your favor, but what is the best way to logically navigate this to make sure this is a clean, fair cut and you know that you made the best logical decision no matter how you look at it? This kind of mentality may help you more in the long run than just resorting to caressing your ego. Yes, I love to be petty myself, but your Guides are like "No sir/mam, this is serious and we gotta be adults about how to handle this situation." So if you didn't experience/catch this yesterday Pile 1, I hope you did now! Thank you for reading and let me know your thoughts! If you wanna dive deeper into how to transverse this and stretch your craninum, hit me up at my Store on Miiriya on Saturday, 7/16! We getting it together and doing better over here yesss mammmm/sirrrrrr! Cards:

Pile 2:

Cards: Surrender to the Divine--Step out of your Comfort Zone--Show the World the real you--7 of Swords--King of Wands--3 of Pentacles--King of Pentacles

Pile 2 I ain't gon hold you I like this energy! You got an extra oracle card and that means your Guides/Ancestors have something to say! This SuperMoon is teaching you how to really step into you! You have two Kings here. Very powerful, masculine energy. This SuperMoon you are supposed to be learning how to stop deceiving yourself and playing small with the 7 of Swords and take your power back with these two Kings here. Yes, it is terrifying to think of and even more terrifying to act on it with Step out of Your Comfort Zone, but you are protected by your Guides and Ancestors with Surrender to the Divine. You are meant to show this very confident, fiery, spunky, yet serious, diligent, and purposeful side of you! And don't worry if it sounds contradicting. We humans are not meant to see the world in black and white. We only like to because that's what our brain can handle. But Pile 2 you don't have to explain shit to nobody and that's what you're supposed to learn from this SuperMoon. With the 3 of Pentacles here I'm getting people are supposed to come to you! Take note of the person (I believe this person is an art teacher) with the gray hair guiding this student in this picture of the 3 of Pentacles. That's supposed to be you! People see your talents, your worth, your value and you need to see this too! I won't be surprised if this transit happened in your 2H. You are a stable force and a not a force to be reckoned with. People like you, THE REAL YOU! Let yourself out little by little. You don't have to turn a whole 180 if you don't feel comfortable, but if you do BITTCHHHHHHH more power to ya!! But you gotta get past this 7 of swords energy. Don't gaslight yourself anymore is what this SuperMoon is making you learn. You are a powerful motherfucker! You have not one but two kings here! You are the one and not the two!! So I hope you take that home with you after reading this screen. Go get em! If you want to reach out to me personally and dive deeper into it, my readings do open officially on Saturday, 7/16! I definitely hope to see you there Pile 2 because this is my Pile of bad bitcchessss!!

Cards:

Pile 3:

Cards: A fiery climax approaches--Hold your Vision--10 of Wands--Justice--4 of Pentacles--The World

Don't let go yet Pile 3! This SuperMoon is teaching you to have patience and understanding that patience is definitely a virtue. This SuperMoon may have tested your patience and commitment to a certain project or situation. You may have felt like throwing in the towel with this 10 of wands here and wanting to retract and possibly wallow with this four pentacles here, but hold on! This energy feels very Wheel of Fortune. It feels like after such a long time in Hermit mode (as Hermit proceeds The Wheel of Fortune & The Hermit is at a standstill most of the time), there's finally movement, action, a climax to the story! You're getting the answers you are looking for! Things are coming into balance with the Justice card here. We're wrapping things up with The World card here and there is going to be an end to the story. There's the light at the end of the tunnel. It's there!!! It's there Pile 3!! I know it was hard as fuck carrying all that stress on your back & with the 4 of pentacles you probably didn't share your troubles as much, but believe me it did not go in vain. Now, I can't say it may be the way you envisioned because unfortunately life isn't a fairytale, but the main lesson was to understand that we can only do so much and we have to rely on Divine Timing for the rest. So don't give up as The Universe will straighten things out in the way you NEED, but not always the way you WANT. That's Saturn for ya. Yet, if you want to dive deeper and know more about your particular situation and how to strengthen your patience, ya girl is available staring 7/16! See ya later!

Cards:

Thanks for tuning in! I hope yall learned, processed, and transmuted this SuperMoon. You are the most powerful being in existence, and you can change the world at your fingertips if you really think so. You just gotta work with The Universe to do it. 🌎✨💎🦋♑️

-Claude 🔥✨🌎💎❤️🦋

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sapphybandit · 9 months

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CW vent on creative pursuits & mental health

Lately, I'm feeling so overwhelmed and yet also like I'm not doing enough at the same time. I've got like 4 personal projects I'm trying to work on but I don't really feel like I'm doing enough?

Or more like, I don't really know what I'm doing, but, I know no one ever really does.

But all of those projects were pursued with the intent to enable me to have a creative form of expression. To fight against this deeply rooted notion that my place is in the background and I deserve to be quiet, and silent.

I have worlds I want to build, stories to tell, I have people I want to help with my own learned experience and resources. I want to act, I want to exist, and not just be some name on a list. I feel compelled to make something because I *feel* it inside wanting to come out, I just, don't know how.

And fuck, I know with a bit of honing of my skills there's *something* there that's gonna really have an impact. The problem is just figuring out....what that is. I do a lot of things pretty decently that have made a difference in a few folks, but I can't seem to...focus on anything enough to refine it further.

Live streaming is going well enough, I think? People seem to love my voice and my charm, and it introduces folks to new games while raising money for charity. Not a lot of money, but some. But I only seem to have time to stream once a week, and it takes a lot of energy to be "On" for so long.

There's voice acting for a NSFW animation because I know I have "that voice" and it might be fun to see people's reactions when its all done. But at the same time that kinda feeds into the whole "meat market" mentality that im not super fond of. I already have been pursued, used, and abused because of my looks, and I'm afraid of my voice contributing to people not seeing *me*, but just the hot girl they wanna fuck.

There's indie game work for a beautiful queer story, and I want so desperately to see it ship, but I've never had so much responsibility before. I keep finding myself paralyzed when I think about how much work will have to go into this "small" game, over years. I worry about letting the other devs down, even though they have told me its okay if i never contribute to the game. I just wish I had more time, or energy to really write some awesome code, but its so hard after spending 8 hours during the day juggling meetings and design docs and obtuse code bases. Its hard to code more after coding all day, even if the mind is willing, the body ain't moving.

And then it all goes back to personal art. It seems simple, self reliant, no pressures. But there's so much emotional baggage I still push thru left from folks no longer in my life, like it took me hours for me to soothe myself enough to just open CSP for the first time this year. Trying not to trauma dump, but, fuck I've just been through a lot, I've been treated terribly before, and unfortunately the pursuit of art was tied closely to those events and those traumas.

The issue now, though, is more of what I had before the incident, where I have the vision of the art piece in my head, but my hands and my technical knowledge aren't far enough to actually make the piece. Its like seeing a finished game, wanting to make your own, but not knowing how to navigate a game engine. I know I have things to learn, but I struggle with identifying the what.

And I just get overwhelmed. Then my attention swaps to another venture, makes a few steps, and I get overwhelmed again. It doesn't feel like I'm going anywhere or accomplishing anything.

I think I'm seeing a lot of paths I can take but I see the length of each path on the grand scale, and it makes it hard for me to just stick to one and identify first, little steps.

Worst part is I know so much of this is a problem of my own creation lol. No one is making me do this! I can totally just, work and vibe and play games and kiss girls and be fine. But fuck, I want more, and I wanna make something. I don't even really care if it has a big or small impact, I just can't let life pass by constantly being a....small silent pushover. Im not that type of fuckin person. Im no ones arm candy, or wallet, or fuck toy. Im not gonna let anyone control me like that ever again.

My beauty, my worth, is my mind and its words. And I'll find a way to let it speak, and thrive, and blossom. To fully claim my identity, my personality, and let it be seen and heard.

I don't know how, but I'll figure out something. I'll figure out my forward.

#sapphyspeaks

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manias-wordcount · 2 years

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Have a request? Read me!

Okay so ive been running this shit for about a year and a halfish i think its time to talk about how i work. though before we start i just wanted to say im thankful for everyone who supports me or just reads a work of mine. it means the world to me and i enjoy being able to share my writings with a bunch silly and lovely people like y’all !!!

General Rules for my blog!

Please don’t ask me for any personals information lol

like actually

this includes stuff like my age, where im from, etc.

i share what i want on my own private time sooo like

dont ask teehee

Please dont make SA jokes in the comments of my stuff xD

i wish i was joking.

i understand some people use humor to cope

but thats no excuse to be joking about bringing out the rape whistle when a unpopular background character is staring at you

like i really wish i was joking but yeah

Don’t be rude in general in the comments of my stuff lmaoo

like its genuinely annoying.

it’s 10000% okay to not agree with my vision for how a story goes or how a character should react

but if that’s something you want to tell me, do not be rude about it lmaoo like where are your manners

like if you dont agree, you dont agree but neither of our word is law soo...

also dont fucking shame requesters or commenters if they’re actually doing nothing wrong

i’ve had way too many people complain or shade other’s completely reasonable requests like wtf???

but yeah practice some self-awareness before you speak your mind sometimes?

you are not the only person in the room

okay rant over teehee

Some of the stuff on my blog contains sexual material

I really try to give warnings ahead of time

but don’t be afraid to point out if there's something else that probably needs a forewarning

also my words are not gospel

shit can be dramatized (im whore) or romanticized for convenience of storytelling (im lazy) so if youre using this stuff to learn about sex uhhh

maybe dont?

Some of the stuff on my blog contains some dark themes

i also try to be transparent about those things as well

but for the record im in no way glorifying these dark themes

though as someone who is both creative and has seen/gone through so shit i do explore and work through some of these topics to myself as a person and as a writer!

Request Rules and Guidelines

i’ll write anything!! (within reason)

i think you guys can guess a bit about what “within reason” means

and i know the fact that i dont have a “NO LIST” can be inconvenient

but if you’re unsure if ill write something you want? just ask!

you can always ask in dms or in my inbox! either is fine

that means i have the right to deny anything too, of course

long story short, y’all dont pay me LMAOO

i usually wont deny something but i will if it’s...

one: requested while my requests are closed (im sorry but no more means nomore!!!)

two: goes against what i believe in some way (i doubt anyone is going to request something political or bigoted so im talking shit like the fact that i will never write anything that takes place in the state of New Jersey USA because i hate that place so much WHHAHAHAHA

three: you were mean to me AHAHAHAHAHAH

yeah this list isn’t long and very hard to get but i did want to make this transparent

before anyone starts requesting some new jersey aus..........

be respectful !!

not only am i human, im truly am doing this for free (for now, at least) and on my own time

though you should treat people who charge for their work with respect too.

its hard out there for us lil creators lmao

sometimes, less is better.

Super detailed requests can be tricky to navigate.

Again, im doing this on my free time and i average around 1K-2k words depending on what my life is looking like at the moment.

sometimes a super detailed requests require multiple parts that might not be released for a long time.

Or i struggle with getting a story im proud of putting my name while trying to respect the request.

If you want specific details to make the experience more personal to you, go for it

but do you really need to tell me what your request is in 11 full-length sentences? do you really HAHAHAH

also if i aske you to explain something, please be able to explain it bc im not a mind reader and this guess and check thing is kinda stressful

try not to rush me lol

Im checking my blog everyday.

I see your requests and i promise im (most likely) not ignoring you.

i have other hobbies, and a life too, and possibly 20 requests ahead of you.

i try to get everything out asap but sometimes that’s like 2 or more months

BUT if you’re scared that your request may not have made it through the hellsite, send another one asking if i got the request!

i’ll respond to that one if i have!

PLEASE TELL ME WHO AND WHERE THEYRE FROM IN YOUR REQUEST

like actually teehee

It stresses me when i just get a request and all that's included is the situation the requester wants and the character’s first name. Give me the full name or tell me where they’re from before i scour every single series i write for to check for repeat names

its not that big of a deal but im scared of fucking up for you guys aaaaaa

If you send me a weird or rude request as anon, im just going to delete it from my inbox for both of our sake

cough cough THINK LIKE NO PEDOPHILIA LIKE ACTUALLY

and im not gonna specify what i mean by “weird” beyond that just because it’s very much a random situation

im not naming anons but just kinda think ahead of time what you’re asking me (a stranger) to do and publish for you

maybe uhhh...check my masterlist before requesting?

i know its daunting

i know i have a lot on there

but there might literally be exactly what you’re looking for on there HAHA

if not though, absolutely go forward with requesting !!!!!!!

even if what you want is something similar to what i’ve already written, a few changes make a huge difference!

but when in doubt about characters or stories i’ve written before?

check!

if have the right to change the way i write a request (unless specifically stated otherwise)

all this means is that every request (unless a HC is specifically asked for) will start off as being written as a full length average Mania™ fic

if for any reason i decide it would be better in a different format, then i will change it (ex: fic => hc)

UNLESS YOU SPECIFICALLY ASK FOR A CERTAIN FORMAT

then ill keep true to that format no matter what happens

but yeah ! that’s it for now at least. ill update this post if theres more hehe. also if you have questions, just dm me or put it in my inbox :)

#request rules #request are open #!!!#for now #guidelines #request guidelines

17 notes · View notes

brotherlysuggestion · 2 days

Note

Hey, bro, this is.. weird to say but here we are. I really hope y’all are okay and doing well ⊂(´• ω •`⊂)

I was in the suggestion community at its peak, one real popular blog and one more midsize but I just wanted to thank you for your kindness and help and care and support. You and your blog really did help a lotta people. And it really helped keep me here and keep me going. I happened to see a post of yours and it brought back so much tenderness and I’m so.. glad and grateful for you. All of you.

I’m a lot better and in much safer situations and have much more caring people now who treat and love me how I deserve. And I’m a much better, safer, more loving person too. I’m still growing through things and there’s still stormy days, but I’m so happy to be here. It’s really nice to be able to tell you this, to think that you’d maybe be proud of me, and I’m proud of you too.

I dunno if you’re still here and if you’ll end up reading this, you don’t have to, but.. thank you. so so much. Thank you <3

Hey, little sib 💖

I promise we are still here!! I know that we post very infrequently, but we’re definitely still here! (Tbh we spend a lot less time on tumblr as a whole across all of our blogs. I’ll personally check MAYBE once or twice a week for 5-15 minutes at a time. We also run this blog as a DID system, and some alters have fused or gone dormant over time, and we haven’t been fully sure how to navigate that wrt posting).

I’m so glad that you’re doing better than before! I’m glad that you could find a better environment, and we’re all absolutely, incredibly proud of you for putting in the work to grow as a person.

I hope that I’m not reading what you’ve said wrong (if I have, ignore me lol), but if I’m right; Remember that it’s hard (if not nigh impossible) to keep yourself from developing unhealthy behaviors/patterns when you’re trying to survive in a toxic environment. Even if they aren’t useful to you anymore, you needed them to survive at the time, and that isn’t a moral failing on your part. Remember to be gentle to yourself, and don’t hold past mistakes against yourself.

Honestly, I don’t know if we’ve ever shared this on this blog before, but I (Mod Static) made this suggestion blog when I was in a really dark place in my life. I was maybe 15 or 16? And either very close to needing to be taken inpatient at a psychiatric unit, or barely out of my time being inpatient in the psych unit. Part of this blog was protectors and caretakers (Mod Bandage and Mod Sunflower, especially) leaving little messages that they thought I needed to hear. Another part of it was me trying to reassure myself that things would be okay, sort of a “fake it ‘til you make it” thing?

The suggestion community being so welcoming, open, and interactive really did save me tbh. It made me feel like I had a use in the world (NOT to say that you have to be useful or in any way justify your existence to others, but it’s a personal hangup that I feel this way). That people would notice if I disappeared. I met a lot of friends through the community; some of which I still touch base with on occasion, and others that turned out not to be such great company to keep. Either way, those friends kept me alive, too, even if it was just long enough to meet better people for me.

I guess that ramble is to say that as much as I’ve helped anyone, I don’t know how much you all realize how much you’ve helped me. All of your asks made me feel like I needed to be here, whether it was the ones asking for advice, or dropping by to say hello, or thank-yous, or sharing successes. I’ll always be incredibly grateful for that.

I love you, all of my little siblings out there. Thank you for letting me be your brother.

#mod static #not a suggestion #text heavy #Aaa sorry that I took so long to respond to this!! I have a lot going on and I’m also forgetful #but this ask meant a lot to me and I wanted to gush #also you absolutely were not weird don’t worry!! I honestly get happy whenever I get asks here #even if I am not the best at responding to all of them

0 notes

narito-ako · 1 year

Text

youtube

Pile 3

I have 2 loved ones in mind that passed away before I got to meet them. One who passed in a violent way. Although I never personally met them, I already felt it in my heart that we share similar souls.

I don’t know for sure who this ancestor or angel is, I admit I wish I had a name at the very least so I can directly pray to them, but at the same time, it’s alright and I am okay with not knowing.

I feel like, however, that if I were able to directly communicate in some way with this protector, that we would have a very strong bond.

I wish I had a companion like You.

I think I’ve gained significant comfort and peace learning about this person. Navigating through this world alone won’t feel so lonely, now that I know I’m constantly accompanied by an ancestor that also roamed freely on their own and never seemed to fit in anywhere. The comfort I felt brought me to tear a little, both a little sad and happy.

Whoever you are, I love you and though we didn’t meet in either of our lifetimes in this physical world, I know our souls have known each other for several. I will make it a point to keep your presence in the front of my mind, honor you, and speak to you more. Maybe I’ll dedicate an item to you. And I’ll take more walks, especially in nature.

I feel like we would’ve shared some drinks together and a cig lmao ironically. Take moonlight walks together. Ride around on your motorcycle to find hidden gems and howl together on a field or mountaintop.

Thank you for always looking after me.

————

I looked up Saint Jude and although I’d prefer to call you by your actual name, I will use the name Jude for now. It will make it easier for me to directly pray to you. I hope that’s okay.

Just to note:

Saint Jude is known as the patron saint of hopeless causes, a intercessor for those seeking God’s assistance during times of family crisis, sickness, and trouble, especially when it seems all hope is lost.

also:

—————

Pile 2:

I got called to listen to 3 first, then 2.

Basically, this archangel pressed the shit out of me LMAO.

I understand which areas in my life I need to be disciplined in, and I’m sure Spirit and definitely this presence is agitated with me for even considering reverting back to people and situations that nearly pushed me over the edge.

I have to be obedient in this sense or I would be going against my own trust and belief of the Divine.

————-

Last night I had a dream with 2 huge red snakes, 1 smaller red snake with its lower body cut off, and 1 huge standard ball python. There was only one particular snake that shook fear into me and it was the biggest red snake in the gigantic enclosure. The way it moved and appeared almost identical to the Devil Card from this reading. It’s kind of overwhelming.

I tried to look up symbolism regarding the specifics of these snakes in my dream. I had some idea of what this dream meant for me, but was still a little confused, mainly on the one red snake that scared me.

From this reading, I understand what it meant now in several aspects. I feel like my whole dream was covered through this reading lol.

But mainly:

I had a tendency to always put the best and good of a person at the forefront and often looked pass the truth I had already known.

This specific archangel will constantly bring that truth directly into my face time and time again and recognize the deception, illusion, delusion.

#mydownloads

0 notes

lilysdaydreams · 3 years

Text

Praise Bingus (No fucking way)

→ I do not claim to know corpse- therefore please don't think that this is what he would actually act like, or that any details about his life are actually true. this is fiction.

→ Pairing: Corpse Husband X Fem!Reader

→ Genre: Angst and fluff. (FLUFF IS COMING I SWEAR)

→ Words: 3.9k

→ In a world where everyone is born with a mark on their wrist, two souls come together over the power of bingus.

→ (this isnt crack lol)

→ Warnings: Lots of swearing, um self-depreciation? rejection (kinda) and negative thoughts overall. Sorry im new to warnings.

→ Authors Note: this is the first time im doing like angst so please tell me if I did well? Um also, I’ve already started on the part 2 so keep your eyes out for that. If you wanna be tagged for part two please comment and lemme know. Also check out my other fics if you want!

→ Buy me a coffee

Part two →

~~~

Soulmates were a phenomenon. They'd been there for ages, drawn into the Egyptian tomb paintings, seen in the cave paintings from millions of years ago, talked about in stories passed down from generation to generation. They could be matching drawings, first words, names; all black before the soulmates met and turning gold the moment they talked to each other. There wasn't a scientist in the world who could explain the phenomenon.

You'd received your mark at birth just like everyone else, a sentence running around your wrist,

"No fucking way."

Your parents weren't that happy when you asked at the age of 4 what "fucking" meant but it wasn't that bad. You were happy that you had something unique, something other than the "Hi," or "Excuse me," that was on every other arm.

When you were 13, a little girl on the train pointed to your wrist and asked her mom what it meant. Ever since then, you'd taken to wearing bracelets over it. This had turned out to be a good idea because a few years later you started making Youtube videos. At the age of 16, you started a Youtube channel where you focused on a variety of things; makeup, fashion, games, art, skits and a whole lot more.

At the age of 20, you had a steady following of a little more than a million subscribers, and you had moved to LA to be closer to all your Youtube friends. You hadn't just grown on Youtube, you'd also started a lot of side projects. You were known for the art that you did on the side, along with the makeup palette you'd come out with a year ago. Soon you were planning to release a merch collection, one that you had been working on for a whole year now.

You hadn't met your soulmate at this point but honestly, you didn't really mind. Balancing Youtube and study (along with all your other side projects) was hard. There was no need to add the struggle of love into it... Or that's what you told yourself anyways.

There were days though, days where you wished you had someone to hug, someone to cuddle in bed with, someone to go on long walks with. You didn't let yourself wallow on it that long though. Crying about it was gonna do absolutely nothing.

It started on a rainy day. The story of you and him. You were editing your soon to be uploaded video, an e-girl outfits lookbook, which had been requested by your followers. Your personal style was all over the place and your previous soft girl and cottage care look books had done well, so you decided to continue the series.

You eyes blurred as you looked at the same point of the video, and you sighed, removing your glasses and rubbing your eyes. Your editor was sick and had let you know that they wouldn't be able to edit it by the deadline so here you were, editing it yourself. You stretched in your chair letting out a yawn. You were contemplating on whether to make coffee or not when your phone pinged.

"Nooooo" you whined when you noticed it was on the coffee table that was just a little out of your reach. Stretching your foot out, you tried to grab it between your toes and then sighed when the phone fell.

"I have zero luck, I swear" you muttered to yourself, bending to pick up the phone.

The text was from Rae, asking you to join a game of Among Us. You and Rae had been friends for a bit now, which all started when she came across your art and decided to order something from you. You had chatted and clicked immediately, immediately becoming fast friends. Ever since the lockdown started, she often asked you to join in on Among us games and your friendship had really grown over these past few months.

You sent a quick "sure!" and then went to your table, waiting for the PC to turn on. Quickly tweeting out that you were streaming, you opened up Youtube and turned on the stream, saying a quick hello and letting them know what you'd be doing.

"Rae just invited me guys, I don't really know who's there," you mumbled, replying to a comment asking you who you were playing with.

You squinted your eyes, joining the voice chat and then opening your phone camera to quickly check that you didn't look horrible. Sure you didn't really care about how you looked but it was always good to check that you didn't have anything stuck between your teeth before you turned on the camera.

There was already a conversation going on, between who you thought was Corpse and Sykkuno, judging by their voices.

"Yeah I could totally do that. Get a cat and name it Bingus. I wonder if th-"

You gasped when you heard what they were talking about and unmuted yourself immediately yelling "PRAISE LORD BINGUS" and effectively shocking everyone in the chat.

A moment of silence and then Rae yelled: "OH MY FUCKING GOD Y/N, YOU SCARED THE CRAP OUT OF ME."

You giggled as everyone groaned and whined, saying hi as they realised who it was. You had played with Sykkuno and the others a few times before but you'd never met Corpse before. You'd heard his voice though, as he was trending on twitter constantly over the past few weeks. Once they all quietened down, you realised Corpse hadn't said anything. Since you knew everyone else in the lobby, you introduced yourself, wondering if you'd scared him a bit too hard.

"Hey Corpse, I'm Y/N from Y/C/N, its so nice to finally meet you," you said gritting your teeth at you awkward introduction. For a second there was no response and then three words were said that made your jaw drop to the floor.

"No fucking way"

He had whispered it, obviously still in shock, and your eyes widened in surprise as a tingle spread all over your body. So this was what everyone meant by "you'll just know," when you asked them about how you would recognize your soulmate.

"Holy shit" you thought frozen in your seat.

Never had you been more glad that you hadn't turned the camera on yet.

"Uhhhh-" you started, but stopped now knowing what to say.

What the fuck were you supposed to do now.

"Wha- Whats wrong?" Rae asked after a moment passed.

Corpse cleared his throat and started "Its um, shes my -" and you cut him off, heart beating in your chest.

"Nothing. Its nothing." you said talking over him. "Who else are we waiting for Rae?" you asked joining the lobby quickly and choosing red as your colour.

"Uh one more person," she said slowly, still a bit confused.

"Oh awesome!" you said fake enthusiasm prevalent in your voice. "So Sykkuno," you started, wanting to keep the conversation going. "How's Bimbus doing?"

Sykkuno launched into a story of Bimbus and you blew out a sigh of relief, mind still numb over the revelation.

Corpse was your soulmate.

The guy who had literally went viral the past few weeks was your soulmate.

You'd finally found him.

You heard Rae cut Sykkuno off, telling everyone she was starting the game and muttered a "Thank god" when the words "CREWMATE" appeared on your screen. You would not have been able to play imposter at the moment, your mind pretty much stuck on the fact that Corpse was your fucking soulmate.

Heading down to admin, you realised you hadn't said anything yet to the stream so you quickly turned on your cam, saying a quick sorry to the viewers.

"Sorry guys, I forgot to put the camera on," you smiled focusing on card swipe.

"I hope everyone's been okay, I know this was quite sudden, but Rae invited me and I was like why not you know," you said rambling as you moved to comms and did the task there.

Lights were called and you moved to electrical, arriving there just as Leslie fixed them. You moved into the back of electrical doing the three tasks you had there when Sykkuno suddenly came in and went straight to standing on top of the vent.

You giggled already knowing his trick.

"Okay guys," you mumbled watching Sykkuno wiggle on the vent. "do we trust Sykkuno or not?"

"You know what," you said making a split second decision. "Its the first game, we might as well."

Joining him on the vent, you stilled for a second and then breathed a sigh of relief when he didn't automatically kill you.

"See, what did I tell you guys huh?" you question smiling straight at the camera. "I knew Sykkuno could be trusted."

You decided to follow Sykkuno going into reactor with him and starting 'Simon says' and just as you were on the last part, a body was found making you let a whine out.

"Guysss," you whined to the camera as Rae started talking about how she had found Daves body in admin.

"Um, I havent been in admin since the start of the game," you said, "also I can clear Sykkuno, for the last part of the round, he's been with me since lights went out."

Sykkuno confirmed it, "Yup that's right, also I can hard clear Y/N cuz guess what? She stood on the vent with me and none of us died."

Everyone chuckled as he said "Thats good enough for me."

"Uh, I was in navigation mostly." said Lily.

"Poki, can I just ask what you were doing?" said Sean, an undercurrent of mirth present.

"Me?" asked Poki speaking for the first time. "What was I doing?"

"You weren't doing any tasks, you were literally just walking from one side of medbay to the other when I peeked in."

Poki started laughing, trying to get her words out at the same time.

"Okay so-" a giggle. "okay okay- I was just, I was trying to um do the beep test," she said finally breaking down and making everyone else laugh as well.

"What the fuck?" you said, laughing at the image in your mind.

"My chat told me to do it last game so I decided to do it now, I was literally just playing around," she said finally, adding "I swear I'm not imposter" at the end.

"Hmmm," you hummed, bringing a hand up to stroke your chin. "Are you sure it was last game Poki... hm...."

Giggling at Poki indignant "YES it was last game", you quickly skipped voting like everyone else as the timer went into the last ten seconds.

Humming a tune under your breath, you went back to reactor, taking a minute to carefully do Simon says and then moved to the other task counting out one two three as you pressed on the numbers. Humming, you moved out of reactor, only to come face to face with Corpse. You paused for a second, and then moved ahead, refusing to show anything on camera. For some reason he followed you as you went to storage, looking at you while you did the trash.

"Why is he just staring?" you mumbled, biting your lip. God, you really didn't wanna think of him right now. You started walking to shields, him still walking with you when lights were called and not a second later a body was reported.

Suddenly there was screaming your ears as Toast and Rae both started accusing each other.

"Wait- Wait WAIT" yelled Poki trying to get them to stop. "What happened?"

"I'll explain" declared Rae, not letting toast get a word in. "We were in navigation okay, me, Toast and Leslie. Lights went out, and suddenly a report buttons there. It's either Toast or someone came in just as lights went out and killed but that doesn't seem likely because I didn't see anyone anywhere near us at all. Anyways I'm fucking telling the truth guys, its Toast, he's the one who did it."

"Toast, do you have anything to say for yourself?" asked Corpse, his voice making your insides shiver.

"Holy shit, this is my soulmate", you thought for the fiftieth time.

"Uh yeah," replied toast. "I didn't do it."

Everyone laughed as he continued.

"Like seriously, I wouldn't do anything like this because it'd be a stupid move from my own part, and I think Raes smart enough to not do this as well. I think someone else came in just as lights went down and killed immediately, which to be honest, was pretty smart of them."

"Okay so I can clear Corpse," you cut in noticing the timer was close. "he was with me in weapons when it happened, he wouldn't have had time to go all the way up, or even vent there because we were literally walking in."

"Yup that's right," confirmed corpse.

"I'm in cafeteria" said Poki.

"Yeah, I saw her on my way to weapons," said Sykkuno, "and I'm in weapons right now,"

"I'm in lower engine" said Sean, and Lily said she was in reactor.

"I think it's Toast," you mumbled and then rose your voice to talk over everyone. "Look okay fine, maybe he said it was a stupid move and he wouldn't do it but maybe he did it for that exact reason. He thought he could get away with it because no one would expect him to do something like that."

As the timer started going down by 10, you voted for Toast and it turned out 3 had skipped the vote while five had voted for him.

damn.

"Guys you actually voted for him?" you said in a high voice, re-enacting one of Sykkunos most said lines.

You heard a "oh for gods sake" from Rae before everyone went silent and you giggled as you moved back down to weapons to do your tasks.

You finished all your tasks and decided to go to security to check where everyone is. Humming as you moved through the electrical hallway, you narrowed your eyes as Corpse came out of electrical and went towards storage. Quickly ducking in you didn't see a body so you headed back out, going into cams and gasping as you saw the body. Reporting immediately you were shocked to see the four kills that had happened. Now only you, Corpse, Sean and Rae were left.

"Oh my god," you mumbled confused. Either there were still two imposters, and Toast wasn't the imposter or the imposter literally killed and did nothing else. Now either that could mean that its definitely Rae if Toast wasn't the imposter, or that it was Corpse as the only imposter left. That was a bit weird though becuase he could have totally killed you at the start of the game. You didn't suspect Sean at all.

"What the fuck?" mumbled Corpse, and Rae made her animal noises expressing her shock.

"Okay," you said taking charge and relaying the kill and your theory to everyone. "So either it was Toast and there's only one other imposter, who is Corpse. Or Toast wasn't an imposter and there's two of them left. I-" you took a deep breath in at the end, very confused. " I don't know anymore,"

"I think its Corpse as well,"

Corpse who hadn't said anything up till this moment suddenly started stammering out "hey-hey uh let-lets not gang up on me okay. It's not-"

"No, wait, its because Y/N said you came out of electrical right, and I saw you in upper engine literally a bit ago and you went down. I went towards cafeteria so I don't know exactly where you went but its totally possible that you killed."

You voted form him after that, convinced it was Corpse, and the other followed quickly.

"Guys what the fuck, at least give me a chance to explain my self" he whined when his body was thrown off the ship seconds later. You cheered when the "VICTORY" sign was displayed across the screen, bringing up your chat and laughing at Toast as he pretended to be angry at me.

"That was a great round, good work Y/N"

"Thankyou" you mumbled staring at your chat. You were confused when you saw the absolute influx of messages on there, and you were barely able to read them because they were going so fast. You scrolled up, and read through the few of the messages;

"You've made corpse sad."

"Corpse has literally been so quite since you came in, can you leave."

"Omg stop with the hate messages, its not her fault if corpse isn't talking to you"

"are you his ex or something? What was that reaction at the start?"

"what did you do? Corpse literally hasn't said a word since you came in."

"Um..."

Corpse POV

Corpses heart stopped for a minute, his breath catching. The words on his wrist glowed gold, and he stared at the little red character standing there.

This person was the reason that he had "PRAISE BINGUS" stretched across his wrist.

They were the only reason that he had searched "Bingus" on google for all of his life. The only reason Corpse knew about the meme before anyone else was because he was constantly monitoring the word online. Ever since March, he had been waiting with bated breath, anxious that he could meet his soulmate at any moment. and here you were.

For some reason, he had never expected that he would meet you in among us, or while he was on stream. He always thought it'd be someone outside. It was a bit stupid in hindsight as all he did nowadays was play among us.

He heard you introduce yourself to him but the only thing that came out of his mouth was “No fucking way”.

Immediately after he wanted to slap himself.

“Idiot” he thought to himself. “At least try to make a good impression.”

When Rae asked what was wrong, heat sprung to his cheeks as he started revealing that they were soulmates, but Y/N cut him off, saying that it was nothing.

Corpse’s heart sank a little then.

'Maybe she’s just a private person,' he reasoned with himself.

'I shouldn’t have tried to say it on stream either. God, I’m a fucking idiot, if I said it, literally everyone would know and not only would I have hated the attention, she probabaly would have as well.'

Convincing himself that she was right, he reassured himself that it wasn’t because of him. She wasn’t revealing it because she probably didn't want all the attention.

For some reason though, his heart sank even more when Y/N didnt talk to him, instead talking to sykkuno about his dog. Like sure he could understand not wanting to reveal they were soulmates but shouldn’t she at least wanna talk to him? At this point he wouldn’t even mind if she talked about his voice like everyone else.

He groaned when the word "Imposter" came across his screen, his and Toasts character standing together. He was not in the right mindset right now to be able to be a good imposter. Breathing in deeply he continued in the game, with the first round passing by quick. The second round, he saw Y/N and stood with her for a bit wondering if he should kill her. Her red character moved to weapons and he sighed moving the mouse over the kill button. Just as he was thinking of clicking a body was found. Corpse swore as Toast flew off the ship. Deciding he needed to speed it up he killed four people in the round, hissing when the meeting was called. The moment Y/N accused him, he knew it was over. He didn't even bother defending himself much, just hoping the game would end soon.

When they were in the lobby, he quickly told everyone that he was going to leave because his internet was acting up. Turning off the stream after saying a quick thank you to everyone, he leaned back in his seat breathing through his nose.

What the fuck was his life.

Even his soulmate didnt want him. Honestly, he should have expected this. Abandoned at 12 with no one around him, why did his expect his soulmate to even give a fuck about him. Tears pricked his eyes and he blinked trying to get rid of them. He breathed in deeply, grabbing the water on the table and taking a big gulp. He had never hated himself more than he did right now. Why couldnt he have an easier life.

“Why cant I just fucking be NORMAL” he yelled throwing the empty bottle of water at the wall.

Throwing himself into bed, he scrunched up his eyes, hoping that sleep would come today, not noticing as his phone lit up with a single message.

Your POV

You stayed for another game and then ducked out apologizing and making an excuse up.

"Sorry it was such a short stream, everyone," you said pouting at the camera. "It was fun though so hopefully I get to do it again." Waving goodbye, you turned off the camera and leaned your head back staring at the ceiling.

What the actual fuck.

Grabbing your phone, you stared at it for a bit. Everything that you had pushed to the back of your mind in the game, was suddenly in the forefront.

The only thing you knew about Corpse was that he had a really deep voice, he narrated horror movies, and he maybe did music?

'Rae mentioned that once right?' you thought to yourself.

You unlocked the phone and then locked it again, too scared to actually do anything.

Unlocked.

Locked.

Unlocked.

Locked.

"Oh get a grip," you muttered to yourself, opening the phone and sending a text to Rae.

‘Hey Rae, do you have corpses number? Do you mind sending it to me, I need to tell him something.’

A reply came in a minute,

‘umm, why. he's pretty private so idk i don't rlly wanna give his number if he doesn't want someone to have it’

You sighed, and decided you might as well tell her. You knew Rae wouldn't betray your trust.

‘He's my soulmate’

Immediately a ‘AHDJHAKJKAGDAK’ came as a reply and you giggled at the string of emojis after it.

‘Don't tell anyone,’ you sent quickly, trying to calm her down.

‘Okay okay, its XXX - XXX - XXXX, ASHAGDH IM DYING OMG. GO TALK TO HIM.’

Biting your lip you added Corpse into your contacts hesitating before putting a small black heart next to his name.

"Already simping," you mumbled under your breath, hands hovering over the keyboard as you struggled to think of what to write.

You finally decided on 'Hey, its Y/N, can I call?' thinking that something short would be the best way to go. Hand hovering over the send button, you sucked in a breath and pressed it, waiting with bated breath.

A minute passed.

And then five.

And then, without you even you realising, it'd been half an hour of you just looking at your phone.

An hour later, you were slumped on your desk, eyes closed and snoring lightly, the phone still open, the message you sent lighting up the screen.

tbc.

#corpse husband #corpse x reader #corpse #corpse husband x reader #corpse x y/n #corpse husband fanfic #corpse fic #sykkuno #corpse husband imagine #corpse husband headcannons #corpse husband one shot #lilydaydreamsfics

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yoonpobs · 3 years

Text

bad boy good thing xiv.

pairing: jeon jungkook x oc

genre: angst, smut, fluff, miscommunication (we hate her lol), pining

warnings: smut, jungkook is really an asshole, the angst hurts a lot tbh, unhealthy relationships (?)

words: 5, 690

summary: a series of drabbles where you're confused and jungkook's confusing

a/n:

hello!!!! we’re here at fourteen chapters omg ✨✨when i first started this series it was mostly self-indulgent and now there are people who actually enjoy reading it??🥺 it almost doesn’t seem real T.T

thank you so much for the love and support!!! just so I don't give too much spoilers for this chap - I apologise to my fellow geminis for the potential slander 🤣 this is more of a self-drag lmaooo

anyway, I hope you enjoy this chap!!!

“Ah. I’m getting allergies.” Yena sniffs, scrunching her nose.

You furrow your brows in concern, “Are you okay? Do you need any medicine?”

“It’s just the seasonal changes,” She brushes you off.

You nod in understanding, “I get it. My mom has horrible reactions towards pollen so—”

“I’m not allergic to flowers.” She blinks.

“Then what—?”

“It’s Gemini season. It’s like—literally the worst time of the year.” She blinks.

You gawk at her, taking a whole ten seconds to process her serious tone when she doesn’t waver under your scrutiny.

“I’m a Gemini,” You inform her slowly.

“I mean …” She shrugs all as you scowl at her, opting to throw the closest object you had, which was your favourite pen so you decide against it; simply shooting her the meanest glare you could possibly muster.

“Look, it’s not you,” She sighs, and you’re half-expecting her to finish with an it’s me to make you scoff, “It’s me.” And there you go. “I mean, it’s Gemini’s in general because they’re two-faced bitches who have the worst emotional attachment issues. Like they’re literally what the opposite of glue is. And they’re so over-analytical. How is it like psychoanalysing every person you meet only to hurt your own feelings and sulk about it?”

You blink.

“I mean it’s not you but if the shoe fits.” She says casually, plopping a grape into her mouth that you’re tempted to slap away.

“You’re so mean!” You pout indignantly.

She cackles, throwing her head back as you continue to sulk. You weren’t that bad. You just … you were risk-averse! You liked having the freedom to observe everyone and anyone and package them into tiny compartments in your head so you could understand them better. You weren’t … that Gemini.

“You’re so cute,” She coos pinching your cheeks. “No wonder Beef One and Beef Two like you so much.” She teases.

Your first reaction is to blush because you know who exactly she’s talking about, but you have more pressing matters, like—

“You have nicknames for them?” You ask, baffled.

“Hey, I wasn’t friends with many girls in high school. Don’t girls usually have nicknames for their crushes?” She says through a pout.

You stay expressionless as you try to gauge the level of seriousness you can extract from her tone.

You realise she’s dead serious.

“Yeah, but we’re in college,” You argue, scrunching your nose, “And sides’, it’s not like they’re strangers. We know them.”

She rolls her eyes, waving you off like you were the inconvenience here. Then she leans forward, her eyes twinkling as she takes a complete one-eighty that you try to adjust to.

“So … you Gemini hoe, what’s your plans?” She nudges you.

You raise a brow, “Did you just call me a—?”

“Plans, ___. Stay on track.” She scolds.

You sigh, still fond but you pretend to be annoyed. You really couldn’t get annoyed with Yena. After all, the more time you spend with her the more you realise how much life sucked before you had her in your life. You spent each moment learning more about her quirks and habits, her choice of words that made you giggle or laugh until you were crying.

And you realise that this is how she loves, a little rough but welcomed nonetheless.

“If you’re talking about my birthday then … not much. I’m probably stuck doing admin work for the college’s charity programme.” You shrug, stabbing a fork into your soiled salad.

Yena gapes at you, “Not much—excuse me? It’s your birthday! You’re turning twenty-five!”

You look at her dryly, “I’ve been twenty-five since the year—”

She groans, “That’s not the same! You’re like—officially twenty-five. You’re literally hitting the mark for a quarter-life crisis. Isn’t that something to celebrate?”

“Me going through an existential crisis at the end of my degree is not how I want to celebrate my birthday but okay,” You blink.

She rolls her eyes at your realism.

“That’s not the point. Point is, this is our first birthday together and I want it to be special.” She points out.

You snort, “What? Are we doubling my birthday as our monthsary or something?”

She shoves you with a brute force that has you snickering but she continues to pester you anyway.

“You’re so dumb. So smart, but so dumb,” She shakes her head, “You’re always studying or doing some form of work that requires the use of more than one brain cell. You deserve a break. Besides, you have two dudes to pick from on how you’d like to be wined and dined and—”

“Yena!” You whine.

“—it’ll be like an episode of the Bachelorette! But just with a super cool and smart best friend that’ll make the decision for you. It’s not your birthday. It’s ours.” She emphasises towards the end.

You stare at her for a long second, before the two of you are bursting into laughter at the absurdity of her statement.

It was nice, just to laugh about things without having your heart feel so heavy. Even if it was a mild distraction, it was still wholly pleasant to be able to just talk about mindless things that didn’t require much mental gymnastics to navigate the conversation with.

“What are the two of you laughing about?” Taehyung and Jimin arrive at impeccable timing, sliding into the booth with their own packaged food. It’s very college-student-esque, a cute paper (because no plastic) container filled with an array of assortments.

“None of your XY chromosomes business.” Yena retorts.

Jimin blinks, “You are literally so hostile.”

“Then don’t give me a reason to be.” She sticks her tongue out petulantly.

You laugh, nudging her with your shoulder, “Be nice.”

Taehyung rolls his eyes but manages to keep a civil smile on his face. Always the more rational one between the two.

“Anyway, Yena definitely isn’t going to answer me so, what’s up?” He turns to look at you.

You roll your eyes but it’s half-hearted, “She wants to celebrate my birthday like we’re on the Bachelorette.”

“Like you’re on the Bachelorette.” She corrects.

“Oh my God, our baby’s turning twenty-five!” Jimin coos at the reminder, pinching your cheeks as he coddles you. You scowl and weakly shove him away, even if you preen under the attention.

“I’m literally older than the both of you.” You huff.

Yena blinks, “There’s no way I’m the oldest person at this table.”

Taehyung furrows his brows, “Wait—how old are you?”

She sends him a scathing glare that has his arms raised up in defence.

“Jeez, okay. Don’t answer.”

“I’m going to answer because you told me not to.” She clips. “I’m twenty-seven.”

Jimin blinks, “No wonder you and Yoongi hyung are so alike.”

You almost miss it, but as Yena so eloquently pointed out, you were a sucker for psychoanalysing people (even if you didn’t want to admit it yet) that you notice the way she flushes ever so slightly as she scoffs.

“Him? How dare you compare me to that sorry excuse of a—!”

“Okay, everyone is beneath you. I’m sorry your highness.” Jimin rolls his eyes.

You make a note to ask her about it because you know for a fact that Yoongi ‘complains’ about Yena every hour he can. It’s almost as if he can’t go long enough without mentioning her.

You smile to yourself as you duck your head.

“Exactly,” She flips her hair over her shoulders before turning to face you. “Anyway, back to you—our baby.”

Taehyung nods, “Exactly, the baby.”

You scrunch your nose, “Don’t coddle me.”

He pats your head before cooing at you like he would to an actual baby, “But you’re just so cute. You’re too good for this shitty world. Too good for the likes of mere mortals like us.”

“Not me.” Yena blinks before gesturing to their bodies, “You.”

Jimin sticks his tongue out in retaliation as you sigh at their never-ending bickering.

Somehow … it felt right. You think it most of the times but you don’t know any other way to describe how it feels to be back with your friends, laughing, bickering and just appreciating their presence.

When you and Jungkook had your issues, it was like you made the conscious choice to avoid everyone and anyone as much as you could, and any interaction you had during that period was purely out of coincidences and not the intention. You remember actively avoiding Jimin and Taehyung because it felt too draining to pretend like you didn’t have a battle in your head. Even studying or spending time with Namjoon made you feel guilty, the thought of Jungkook lingering in your mind. Yena was there through it all, but even then you saw her as much as you did with any of your classmates you so happened to share a class with.

In fact, if it weren’t for Yena you’d probably have zero social interactions as a whole because she just knew. She somehow picked up on your internal conflicts but never outwardly shamed you or confronted you about it. All she did was be there for you, offering you her presence and you were grateful.

So, yeah. Things were better, but your heart was still at its core—confused. Your feelings for Jungkook didn’t disappear overnight and you knew that you were the one that asked for space.

You forgave him … you did, honestly. But there are things you can’t forget, and those are the things that you wished you could. The words he said in principle, was outright shitty. But the fact that it came from him only poked at every single one of your insecurities that you developed over the years.

You knew it wasn’t healthy to compare yourself to other women when they were living vastly different lives than you were, but it’s proven difficult when you’re forced to see these type of women every day, at college, in your community work or on the media.

Believing Jungkook’s apparent feelings for you was harder because, well. Jungkook was Jungkook. He wasn’t just another guy, and despite his shortcomings, he had more merits than he’d let on and you knew that people saw that. It was also the fact that Jungkook had a charm that drew all types of people in. He was soft-spoken but passionate, and people loved a quiet achiever.

You … knew about the women. Way before Jennie and way before the thing between the two of you happened. Jimin and Taehyung would always update you about the new fling or girl he had tied to his hip just as he was in his final year in high school. You had to force a smile every single time they’d snicker and joke about how your Jungkook suddenly became a man overnight.

And you noticed the trend with the women he liked. They were … captivating. Beautiful wasn’t even enough to describe them because they looked like they could carry the world on their shoulders and spark immense change with just the movement of their lips. They were confident and charismatic, outgoing and just the right amount of flirty. You were anything but.

It sucked, majorly, because you spent years agonising over the fact that you were already coined with the older sister title in the group because of the way you acted—just a little more uptight than the average woman your age. You were quiet but loud in the right company; you didn’t like crowds, socialising or mingling around with people you didn’t know and based on your observations it seemed like that was the only thing that Jungkook’s been doing ever since he made it to senior year in high school, and even in the first years of college.

You don’t resent him, you think. You couldn’t blame him because you weren’t honest either. You consented, to all of the kisses and touches even if he hadn’t officially had sex with you. You wanted to, but you were terrified. Not at the prospect of penetration but at the prospect of not being enough and the fact that Jungkook was the only person you wanted to have sex with while he had options that were far more attractive and experienced than you were.

That’s why you needed time because at least you could get your shit together even if it was an uphill battle.

“Earth to ____?” Taehyung waves a hand in front of your face with a concerned expression.

You blink, snapping out of your daze as you offer a meek smile and an apology.

“We just asked you if you wanted a small get together at Tae’s and I’s place for your birthday?” Jimin asks.

“Really?” You beam. That was exactly what you preferred.

“Yeah, we know you don’t like clubs and stuff. Just a small and intimate gathering with all your best buds.” He grins.

You nod your head, but Yena beats you to a response.

“By best buds you mean the three friends she has, which is us and the two meatheads duelling for her affection.” She snorts.

You flush, “Y-Yena!”

Taehyung snickers at your embarrassment.

“It doesn’t help that both of them are literally the biggest dudes on the football team. It’s literally like watching King Kong and Godzilla getting into a fight for world domination.”

Jimin throws his back in laughter as you fold your arms across your chest at post at the way your friends are practically crying in laughter at the image. Jimin was clutching onto Taehyung for his dear life because if he didn’t then he’d fall off the chair.

“Stop,” You whine, “you guys are being mean.”

“Oh my God, you’re literally the only person on this earth that would take two people fighting for your attention as an offence.” Taehyung groans.

“I-It’s not that!” You deny exasperatedly, “I-It’s just … awkward …”

Jimin sighs with a small smile, patting your head.

“If it’s any consolation I think it’s offensive that Jungkook thinks he even has the right to breathe in—”

“Jimin!”

“Wow. It really is like King Kong and Godzilla.” Jimin whistles lowly, eyeing the scene before him with amusement lingering in his eyes.

“Do you think they’re gonna start slamming their chests soon or …?” Taehyung trails off in a whisper, leaning into Jimin so that the two other men wouldn’t notice.

“I can literally hear you.” You say dryly.

Jimin offers you a plastic smile, “You’re meant to hear us, babe. How about you try to tame them like Jane did with Tarzan?”

Jimin nearly shrieks when you shove him so fiercely that he topples over into Taehyung’s grasp as the second part of the duo only catches him in the process.

You sigh, completely ignoring the way that Jimin’s muttering curses that were directed to you under his breath. Instead, you were transfixed on the scene before you—which specifically is Jungkook and Namjoon staring each other down through the mirror of the gym. You were lucky that it was just the five of you since Namjoon was able to use his captain privileges to book the gym because you had no idea how to explain the fact that two big-sized men were attempting to outdo each other in their circuit reps as if they were on a suicide mission.

“Listen, when I agreed to help you out with your sets I thought I was meant to help log it in for a report.” You exasperate, but the two men continue their manly lift-off as they huff and puff their exertion away.

“Trust me, you are helping. Being the motivation is more than—”

This time it’s Taehyung who faces your wrath as you thwack him upside the head.

From where Jungkook and Namjoon were, Jungkook can only deliver death stares into the direction of his captain who returns it tenfold. He wasn’t even sure why they were doing this but something a flicked definitely switched in Jungkook when Namjoon (purposefully) revealed that you were helping out with something. At the gym. Supposedly alone.

Jungkook’s primitive side came out because the next thing Namjoon knew was that Jungkook managed to drag himself, and Jimin and Taehyung as a diversion. He still feels his chest swell with pride when recalling the scowl on Namjoon’s face when he entered the gym, all fake smiles and a pep in his step.

“____, could you help me spot?” Namjoon breathes, sitting up from whatever the hell he was doing with the barbell. You weren’t fixated with gym language and you weren’t even sure why he was asking you when there was an entire Jimin and Taehyung right next to you.

“Uh, okay sure—“

“Noona,” Jungkook calls.

You freeze.

“Jungkook … I thought we established that you don’t need to call me that anymore.” You raise an eyebrow.

You miss the obvious glare that Namjoon shoots his bitchass friend, as well as the snorts that leave Jimin and Taehyung’s mouth.

“Pay attention to me,” Jungkook pouts. Like, actually pouts. You somehow flush because he seemed so much like the younger version of Jungkook who used to always coddle you for attention.

“Okay but after I help—”

“Yeah. After she helps me.” Namjoon interjects, and you nearly jump at the way he’s suddenly behind you, more so—pressed against your back with his hands on your hips as he moves you aside to get to another piece of equipment.

Your breath hitches because while you weren’t exactly invested in Namjoon in the romantic sense, he was undeniably attractive and … big. You could salivate in private.

“Oh my God, do you see that?” Taehyung hisses in a hushed whisper.

“Hyung is petty,” Jimin gawks.

“This is Namjoon we’re talking about. Didn’t he steal all the umbrellas from your dorm because you ratted him out to the librarian when he broke a bookshelf?” Taehyung recalls.

Jimin pauses to retract his mind to that moment.

“He’s so petty and I’m living for it. Look at Kook’s face,” He snickers, nudging Taehyung with his shoulder.

Jungkook only can clench his jaw in return because he knew that you wouldn’t be a fan of him reaching out to strangle the shit out of Namjoon. But the older boy seems fine, if not pleased with how Jungkook’s fuming in his own spot.

“Let me just …” You cock a thumb to Namjoon, before releasing a breath of your own and going to help him with whatever he needed in the first place.

“Jimin can help him. I have a more pressing problem.” He complains.

You stop in your tracks before turning around, raising an eyebrow at Jungkook who finally sits up, still staring at you like you held all the solutions in the world.

“Literally wait for your turn,” Namjoon scowls.

“My arm hurts,” Jungkook says, raising his arm to show you.

“I don’t … see anything?” You furrow your brows.

“Because my muscles hurt, Noona,” Jungkook emphasises with a flex of his bicep and you can feel yourself get hot in the way your eyes can’t stray away.

You’re momentarily distracted by the blatant display of muscle by Jungkook that you completely miss the way that Jimin and Taehyung are struggling to breathe because of how hard they’re stifling their laughter or the way that Namjoon is contemplating on throwing the nearest dumbbell into Jungkook’s direction.

You flush, “Okay, you know what? Wait here. Let me get the first aid kit.” You mumble, quickly scampering off to alleviate yourself from the situation.

The moment you leave the room, Namjoon takes two long strides until he reaches where Jungkook’s sat, before wrapping a hand around the arm that was supposedly hurt—and squeezes.

“Ow! What the fuck hyung?!” Jungkook shrieks.

“Don’t hyung me, you brat.” Namjoon seethes, “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

Jungkook gapes, while Jimin and Taehyung watch in amusement.

“Me?! What’s wrong with you?” Jungkook retorts, equally as agitated, “Oh, _____, help spot me! Woe is me! Like she wouldn’t get crushed under you, you meathead!”

“Like you’re any better,” Namjoon snaps, “Oh, Noona, pay attention to me. My arm hurts. You might as well have asked her to change your fucking diapers at the rate you’re acting like a damn child.”

“You’re the one that started all of this!” Jungkook exasperates, “With all due respect hyung, I love you and you’re my captain but I really feel like smashing your head into the wall right now.”

“That’s it?” Namjoon scoffs, “Well I’ll do you one better and let you know that every time you breathe in my direction I feel like—”

“Oh my God will you two idiots shut the fuck up?” Taehyung interjects, snapping at the two boys who pause, staring up at him with wide eyes.

Even Jimin is surprised at Taehyung’s intervention, purely because he was the type that usually let shit slide or let other people put problematic individuals into place. He was the mediator, the diplomat—not usually the aggressor.

“Wha—”

“Another peep and I’m going to smother your body under the dumbbells and leave you here to rot and die.” Taehyung seethes, staring straight into Jungkook’s soul.

That shuts him up.

“Both of you are acting like goddamn children, and for what? To battle out your masculinity to see who gets ____’s attention first?” Taehyung exasperates.

Namjoon clears his throat, “We were just—”

“—acting like a bunch of barbarians who’s never seen civilisation?” Taehyung retorts dryly, “Yeah. Because that’s exactly what this looks like. The two of you are so petty and for what? You two are literally rubbing the last remaining brain cells you have with each other but nothing is coming out from it. Like—nothing. Do you think she’d give a shit which one of you can lift more reps? That means absolutely nothing! She’s already freaked the fuck out at the prospect of her childhood best friend being in love with her and now we have Big Tit Number One and Two battling it out like you’re in the Greek Olympics.”

Jungkook blinks, and Jimin is mildly impressed.

“So before she comes back and tends to Jungkook’s hurt muscle,” Taehyung sneers, eyes narrowing at a guilty-looking Jungkook, “Both of you better sort your shit out.”

Namjoon flushes, embarrassed at the prospect of being called out, all while Jungkook is avoiding eye contact at all costs.

“Oh my God, do you have a crush on each other or something? Apologise!” Taehyung gestures towards the two boys who awkwardly blink at each other, feeling much like reprimanded children.

It’s Namjoon who breaks the silence first, clearly the more mature one in the situation.

“Look … Jungkook,” He sighs, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to … drag it out like this. I don’t mean it maliciously and you’re my friend and teammate, so I’d really hate if a girl got in the way.”

Jungkook nibbles on his lips, eyebrows still scrunched; and the irrational part of him tells him to ignore the apology. But with the way that Taehyung is glaring him down, with Jimin’s expectant gaze, he knows that he doesn’t have much of a choice.

“I’m sorry … too,” he winces at his own voice, “But just to let you know … I really …” He shuts his eyes, feeling his chest tighten when he tries to force the words out, “She isn’t just … a girl to me, hyung. I really, really like her. And—I know you like her too but … I fucked up and I really want to make things right and seeing you—”

Jungkook is flushing while he rambles on, fully aware that the rest of his friends are listening intently to him speaking his heart. But a hand rests itself on his shoulder, and when Jungkook opens his eyes he sees Namjoon offering him a gentle smile.

“I know,” He says, “I know I said I wouldn’t back off …” He trails off and Jungkook recalls the conversation he had with him in the very same gym just a few weeks back, “But I don’t think I can compete with a decade long love story.”

Jungkook scoffs, though his ears are flushed.

“It’s really not—”

Namjoon waves him off, clasping a tight hand onto his back that tells him it’s okay, and whatever that was going on would get better. And Jungkook feels marginally better and allows himself to let out a sigh of release.

“So are the two of you gonna kiss or what?” Jimin asks in the midst of the silence.

Namjoon glares at the boy, “Don’t make me give you an extra ten laps.”

He backs down immediately, raising his hands up in defence. And at that moment, you return, all smiles and with a pant as you raise the first aid kit up.

“Your arm?” You smile sweetly, and Jungkook can only offer a weak on in return.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Depends. Will I have to run from the government if I answer you honestly?” Yena ponders out loud.

You roll your eyes but shake your head anyway. The two of you were meant to be cooking dinner but you’ve surrendered yourself to Netflix and Yena’s witty live commentary on horrible films you were scrolling through an hour earlier. Though, your head wasn’t quite in it, to begin with; your thoughts drifting to other aspects, ones that you thought too hard for and didn’t necessarily know the answer to.

It was frustrating, the way that you wanted to have a solution for everything but overthought every single case that happens to pass by your mind.

“No one’s hunting anyone down, your anarchist,” You say, “This is a little … personal.”

You didn’t have any girl friends prior to Yena, and that was your first mistake. You weren’t the person that actively avoided having girl friends because you thought they were dramatic or overly emotional but purely because you never knew how to befriend women. It was weird—being a woman yet being muddled with your own sense of femininity that suppressed your ability to form meaningful friendships with your women peers.

Throughout most of your childhood and teenaged life, you only had Jimin, Taehyung and Jungkook. While they were more than enough to keep your memories cheerful and filled with laughter, there were more personal things that you couldn’t quite approach them with. They had each other to confide in their ‘manly’ discussions, small talk that you’d often flush at—but you couldn’t ask them the same things you wanted to.

You knew, that on a fundamental level that your personal things were just … things. It wasn’t that deep, nor did it require a PhD in Gender Studies to fully understand the nuance of periods or apparent ‘girl’ problems; you just needed to listen. But you were timid, and you got embarrassed super easily—so that never boded well whenever you’d want to approach them with a question of your own.

But now, you had Yena—debatably the most open and understanding person you’ve met in your life; and you owed it to yourself, and her—to be honest, to live yourself vicariously in your girl best friends eyes—and ask:

“How do you have sex?”

Granted, there was definitely a smoother way of peeling off the bandaid, but you supposed if you were going to be discussing this one way or another, you’d go big or go home.

“I’m sorry,” She coughs, “What?”

You blink.

“Sorry, I guess I should’ve asked if you were a virgin first …” You mumble.

Yena stares at you with a stupefied expression as she gapes at you.

“Hey, repeat after me: candy, tree and cat.” She grabs you by your shoulders.

“I’m not cerebrally compromised, Yena,” you say dryly.

“Repeat,” She glares.

You huff, shoving her hand off your shoulder.

“Candy, tree and cat. There, happy?” You huff.

She eyes you weirdly as you sigh.

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yes!” You exasperate, “So like … how? Do you just? Penetrate?”

Yena blinks one more time, her eyes trailing to the ceiling as she asks for a higher being to give her strength before she returns her gaze onto your figure.

“Babe, that is literally the unsexiest way to approach sex.”

“Penetration?” You furrow your brows.

She scrunches her brows, “No.” She gestures to you, “That.”

You scowl.

“I don’t know how to approach sex! That’s why I’m asking you. I literally don’t know who else to approach. If I went to Jimin or Taehyung I’m pretty sure they’d just stare at me and cry. Namjoon is out of the picture because he’d likely approach sex textbook style and I don’t need that level of detail right now. I definitely can’t ask Jungkook because he’s the guy I wanna have sex with. So yeah. I’m here because you’re a woman and the only person I can have a full conversation with without losing my will to live.”

Yena gawks at you, jaw slack as you finish your ramble; ears flushed.

“… you …” She begins, wracking her brain for the words that seem to fail her, “… okay. You know what, the fact that you’re here and putting your big girl pants on and asking me this is a feat in itself so I’m going to just ignore the fact that you said you wanted to have sex with Jungkook.”

You flush, “I was word vomiting—”

“Ah,” She holds her hands up, levelling you with a knowing glare, “If you want honest, you be honest too.”

You slump in your seat, sighing as you nod your head defeatedly.

“Firstly, I’m not a virgin. I could never be a virgin.” Yena declares, “Granted, I’ve slept with three people and two of them were women. But the idiot I lost my virginity to was, unfortunately, of XY chromosomes so … I guess I can answer your questions.”

“I mean … I know how sex works but … approaching it …” You mutter.

“And sex isn’t this groundbreaking act that requires Einstein’s IQ to partake in. It’s both intimate and not, and that’s definitely a personal preference. You can know the semantics of how people have sex, for hets in this case, which is just the classic ol’ penetration method where the penis enters the—”

“Your point?” You exasperate.

“—okay, I got a little carried away. But really, sex isn’t … difficult. It’s scary, I’ll give you that. But you don’t go into your first time thinking you’ll be great at it. Hell, you won’t even like sex that much your first few times unless your partner is a sex demon or something.”

“I mean when Jungkook …” You shudder, “When he … I … you know, did things … it felt …” You fiddle with your fingers. Your ears were undoubtedly on fire, and you were so embarrassed saying these things out loud because it was just so awkward!

“Good? You know I’m not going to judge you for it,” she says pointedly, “That’s what friends are for, right?”

You flush, covering your face with your hands in embarrassment. You knew that Yena would never judge you for something as trivial and as unimportant as your sexual endeavours, but this was still a road you’ve yet to properly navigate yourself.

“I … came,” you wince at your breathy voice, “It felt good. And … he’s experienced, you know? I just don’t want to …”

Yena looks at you inquisitively.

“You don’t want to …?”

You sigh deeply, considering your next words with a soft murmur, “I don’t want to not live up to his expectations, you know?”

She frowns at you, “Jungkook’s made some mistakes but you said it yourself. He’s in love with you,” she says softly, “There’s no pressure to have sex with him just because it’s out in the open now, you know?”

You nibble on your lips.

“It’s … more than just that,” you tell her, “I told him I needed time, and really, I do. But it isn’t because I’m confused. I mean, kind of—but really it’s because I don’t want to walk into something and disappoint him … I’m just … scared.”

Yena holds your hand in hers while offering you a gentle smile.

“It’s valid that you’re scared. But there really isn’t anything that can come out of being scared right now. The two of you worked through an obstacle, and here you are creating another one that doesn’t quite exist yet. Trust me, when the time feels right, it does. And you’ll feel ready. Will you still be scared? Maybe. But it’ll feel like it’s meant to fit within your timeline.”

You nibble on your lips, “Is it bad that I’m overthinking this?” You wince.

Yena shrugs her shoulders, “Like everything else in your life?” She teases.

You whine, shoving at her shoulder playfully where all Yena does is snicker in response. You weren’t quite sure what you were expecting out of the conversation, even if it was vaguely about the ins and outs of sexual exploration. And she was right, you’ll always be afraid of something, whether it’ll benefit you or harm you because that’s what change does. It shifts your comfort zone into a space that may be unfamiliar but necessary.

You lean into Yena’s shoulder, and a wave of overwhelming emotion washes upon you when you look at her. You really didn’t know how you survived a time without Yena in your life. And as if she’s noticed your glassy gaze, she raises an eyebrow at you.

“What are you looking at?”

You grin at her, all teeth and gums on display as you hug onto her arm like a koala.

“I’m just really happy you’re in my life.” You sigh wistfully.

She pauses for one whole second before she snorts.

“Wow, talk about sex once and suddenly you’re in love with me?” She wiggles her eyebrows at you, “Tell Jeon and Kim that you’re mine now.”

You giggle, rolling your eyes.

“They’re not even competing in the same league as you are,” you assure her.

She smiles.

“So … does that mean I don’t need to get you a birthday gift?”

That earns a thwack on her shoulder.

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getofy · 3 years

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millennia | k.tsukishima

—a/n: bro i found this random tsukki word dump i wrote in one go earlier this month after my friend ranted to me abt how me n him are soulmates and i decided to post it bc it’s cute >_<. enjoy!! sorry if the pacing is odd. i did not proofread this and only read through it like once lol. it’s not the best, but it’s smth!

pairing: tsukishima x gn!reader | pronouns: none used | cw: i say ‘h3ll’ twice; no spoilers | genre: fluff (blurb format) | wc: 629

synopsis: the love tsukki has for you is—as much as he hates to admit it—infinite.

—Tsukishima Kei loves you.

And it infuriates him.

He’s got no idea what in the hell is wrong with him. He didn’t used to think about you this way. Sure, you were always attractive, but one day, you became more than that. You became an object of desire. You became something he wanted—more than anything else in the entire world.

It took him a while—and several conversations with Yamaguchi— to accept, but now he understands that: he loves you. From the vibrancies of your luscious (h/c) hair to the bird-like screeches of your laugh, he loves you. All of you: your mind, body, and soul. The thoughts he has about you feel like they’re straight out of cheesy rom-com movie, not his brain. Every previously unbearable trait about your person is something that he now finds mind-numbingly adorable, and it’s all thanks to an incredible(-ly irritating) thing called love.

‘Adorable.’

He finds you adorable. So much so that it hurts. You’ve got Tsukishima completely vexed and incredibly annoyed. How dare you consume his thoughts like this? Have you no shame? No mercy? How could a person as unremarkable (remarkable), mediocre (incredible), and annoying (no, that one’s accurate) as yourself have such an impact on him?

And since when did you become someone he’d break his unspoken moral code for?

He’s never been someone who’d call somebody else ‘adorable’—save for the moments when he’d say the word condescendingly at some insufferable prick who decided to tick him off that day—but then, there was you.

And, oh, how you’ve ruined him. His usual cold exterior ever-compromised by the atrocities loving you has made him feel, and he hates you for it. As far as he’s concerned, you’re the wicked witch of the west. An enemy, attempting to break down the barricades of his ‘unfeeling’ heart (and doing a marvelous job, at that).

Tsukishima never thought he’d be the kind of person who’d be absolutely smitten by another, and yet, here he is, enthralled by your very being.

Ever since you came waltzing into his life, he hasn’t been himself. He’s been kinder, friendlier even (which terrifies his teammates, by the way). His personality becoming more on par with a love-struck puppy waiting for its owner to come and dote on it as the days go by than his typical one. You’ve changed him, and everybody knows it.

“Everybody knowing it” is not an exaggeration, by the way. It’s the cold, hard truth. Of course, it’s hard to not take notice of the love the middle blocker has for you when it’s so evident in everything that he does.

When he lays his head down on his pillow, and his mind wanders to scenarios in which you are his, and he is yours, it is evident that he loves you.

When he yells at Yamaguchi for pointing you out in a crowd, a faint blush painting his cheeks, and a pout taking over his face, it is evident that he loves you.

When he loans you a pencil in class and goosebumps start form on his arms from brushing his hand against yours, it is evident that he loves you.

He’s convinced that it’ll be like this ‘til the end of time.

He’ll love you for as long as the sun will set and the moon will rise—and maybe a little longer after that,

Hell, the sun could explode and the feeling in his heart would—probably—still not subdue (he says ‘probably’ because he can’t really guarantee that there’ll be any feeling in his heart after the sun explodes since the world’s probably ended).

A millennia could pass and he’d still love you.

He’ll love you always, and he’ll love you forever.

And maybe, just maybe, Tsukishima’s okay with that.

*do not repost my work without proper credit and my explicit permission

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#hqcorenet #hanimehub #tsukishima x reader #tsukishima kei x reader #hqcafenet #tsukishima x you #tsukishima x y/n #tsukishima kei #Haikyuu #tsukishima kei x you #tsukishima kei x y/n #tsukki #tsukki x reader #anime

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allherdaydreams · 3 years

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Valley of Kings — Chapter One

Vali | The Middleman

Universe: Vikings Pairing(s): None yet (there will be several later on, mainly Ivar x fem!OC and much later on, Harald x fem!OC) Word Count: 3,160 Warnings: Bad writing ig? Author’s Note: I don't really love this lol, but I decided I'm just going to publish the chapters on here when I'm done and have slightly edited them and hope for some feedback, etc. Sorry if it's not great! Anyway, lemme know if you wanna be on a taglist and I’ll add you! Constructive criticism would be greatly appreciated ❤️

read the prologue here

I remember the smell of the air — as spring was leaving, with summer slowly taking its place, the wind was gentle and sweet with the scent of wildflowers. The hunting cabin which belonged to the royal family of Kattegat rested in the foothills just east of the town; to the south surrounded by trees, and to the north, mountains. The smell of pine and woodbine lingered in the air, too, though all of the sweet scents of the wilderness were drowned out with that of the meat we roasted over the fire each night we stayed there.

I remember the way the grass tickled the back of my neck as my friends and I watched the clouds. I had never understood why Sigyn insisted on being barefoot every moment that we were out there, but in midday, the dew had only just faded and the greenery was soft underfoot. The clear blue sky gave us a false sense of security.

It was the last truly peaceful day I would have in a long, long time. I must have been fifteen or sixteen, but I had always looked and acted older. My friends were all older, too — I was the same age as the youngest son of Ragnar, Ivar, but I only spent time with him when his brothers were around. I had been inseparable from Ubbe, Hvitserk, and Sigurd since I was small. We all figured we would stay that way forever.

We had been at the cabin for many days, and planned to head back into town at the end of the upcoming week. That day, Hvitserk and I had both killed a deer, Sigurd had caught many rabbits in his traps, and Ubbe had tracked a boar, though he was still waiting for the right time to shoot it without the probability of getting attacked. (He was much wiser than Hvitserk and I; had it been either of ours to kill, we would have gone after it with no hesitation or regard for our safety at all.)

My sister had come with us — Ivar went, too, and wherever Ivar was, Sigyn was never far behind — but had never enjoyed hunting. Instead, she chose to spend the trip in and around the cabin, cooking and cleaning. When the chores were all done, she spent the rest of her time alone out in the yard, lost in her own head. She was, it seemed, daydreaming at nearly every waking moment of her life.

When we reached the cabin that day, we found her in her usual spot on the grass, staring off at the clouds even as we reached her. Ivar crawled toward her, but instead of trying to grab her attention, he only laid down next to her.

"What are you thinking about?" He asked, staring up at the sky. As the other princes and I walked into the cabin, I heard Sigyn begin to tell a most detailed story, as she always did when Ivar asked that question.

"I am dreaming of a far away kingdom on the edge of the world..."

When we had resurfaced from the entrance of the cabin, Ivar and Sigyn were still laying in the same spot. Hvitserk had flashed me a grin as he nudged my arm before strutting over and laying down on the vacant side of Sigyn. Knowing he wished for me to follow, I laid down next to him.

"You know, Sigyn," Hvitserk said. "If you come with us to the Mediterranean, you will get to see a far away kingdom."

"Yes, Hvitserk, I know." She responded simply. "But it would not be as magnificent as the ones I dream about. Besides, I love Kattegat and I have no wish to leave. We have been over this."

Sigyn had always been straightforward. She was very honest about everything, and often didn't understand the difference between our jests or when we meant what we said. I suppose that my sweet sister assumed that everyone would be as charmingly frank about their feelings as her.

Sigyn had the softest, steadiest voice I had ever heard. She often kept a calm tone which made her seem as if she had the most level head in Norway. Only when she was in great distress or feeling something very strong did her tone ever noticeably change. Not to say she was emotionless by any means — she felt a great deal more than I could ever wrap my head around — but she was always calm. At least, she always was when she was around us.

"Are you going to be okay here while Mother and Father and I are gone, Sigyn?" I asked gently, leaning upwards just slightly to look over at her past Hvitserk. Hvitserk's brows furrowed slightly, and he looked over at her too as she gazed thoughtfully at the clouds. She nodded slowly, turning her head to meet our gazes.

"I think so. You will not be gone very long. I will have Ivar and Muninn." I smiled at her sweet tone, but had to keep myself from grimacing.

"We may be gone all summer," I reminded her.

"Or longer," added Hvitserk. She nodded again and looked back at the clouds.

"Perhaps you will. And I will miss you everyday. But you'll come back." Hvitserk and I looked at each other, and I shrugged as I laid back down. I knew she understood — she was always the more intelligent twin — but I just didn't want her to be hit with the emotions all at once when I would not be there to talk over them with her. We may not have spent every waking moment together, but we had never been separated in our lives.

We stayed there for a long time, quietly and sparsely conversing amongst ourselves. When Ubbe and Sigurd had finished skinning the meat for dinner, they called us over. Sigyn and Ubbe were the best cooks among us, so they were the ones to prepare our meal while the rest of us sat around them and talked. It was not long until we heard the sound of hooves coming up the path to the cabin, and Hvitserk and I stood and craned our necks to see who the incoming rider could be.

"It's Bjorn!" I called the others. Sigyn and Ubbe looked up then, put down the food, and quickly joined the rest of us as we all watched the eldest prince of Kattegat approach.

His expression was grim — though he was usually serious, I wasn't used to him looking so discouraged or unhappy. He dismounted his horse once he reached the cabin, tying the reins to a fence post.

"Hello, Bjorn," Sigyn said, walking up to him with a smile. She turned towards the tall horse, stroking his head gently, her attention now completely focused on the stallion. Bjorn smiled faintly as he gave her a nod.

"Hello, Sigyn," As he passed her, he patted her shoulder. Tearing his eyes away from my sister, he looked towards the rest of us, and his expression darkened again. "I come with news. You will all want to sit down."

By the time Bjorn had finished his story, all of our faces looked just as grim as his. Sigyn, who was sat on a bench behind Ivar, was the only one of us who didn't look angry in the slightest — her downcast eyes made it seem as if she was on the verge of tears as she absentmindedly ran her fingers through Ivar's hair. She had always had a habit of soothing herself with soft textures when anxious or upset; usually, one of us lent our hand or hair for her to play with, if there was no small animal close enough for her to pet.

We were all quiet and contemplative for a while, all of us stuck in our own thoughts. I wondered what Hvitserk was thinking.

"You think our father never knew?" Ubbe brought his gaze up from the table to the sky, which had turned to grey. I saw in his eyes a calculating worry. He was trying to find reason in something where there likely wasn't anything that was good enough to justify it.

"It's possible," Bjorn mused, watching the knife in his hands as he turned it over slowly. "In those early days, it wasn't easy to navigate the sea."

"He knew. He had to." Hvitserk spoke from beside me. I glanced at him and nodded in agreement.

"If he did, he should have told the people," Sigurd decided aloud. "Everyone lost relatives; fathers and uncles, sons and daughters. They would have demanded revenge."

"That is why he didn't tell them," Ivar shot back, glaring at Sigurd.

"What do you mean?" Ubbe asked as his brows furrowed. Ivar rolled his eyes.

"It was a waste of time." He said simply.

"Ivar..." Sigyn's voice trailed off. Her face made it clear that she wanted to say something, but didn't know how to approach her volatile best friend.

"They were dead, Sigyn! Ragnar wanted to sail to Paris. He wanted to be famous. Isn't that more important?" He turned to look at her, and she drew her hands back from his hair and into her lap. "Hmm?"

Sigyn looked at the ground.

"I don't think so," She said solemnly.

"You can say that." Bjorn replied, shrugging. Ivar turned again, back to facing his brothers and I.

"I can say that? What does that mean?"

"Here's what it means —" Hvitserk interjected. "— at least to me. Our father abandoned us. We were just kids, and he ran off. Only the Gods know if he's still alive. And now, we hear he kept this big secret from everyone. That he was not truthful or honest."

"This makes me feel sick," Sigurd shook his head again. "How could our father not tell the people what had happened?"

"Maybe if he had told them, they would have killed him." Bjorn replied, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"If it's true..." Ubbe began. "If it's true that our father lied to his people and abandoned them, then I hope he never comes back."

"He betrayed our name. If he ever came back, I would kill him." Hvitserk snarled, ripping Sigyn out of her mind and back into the present. Her head shot up to look at Hvitserk.

"Me too." Sigurd agreed. Sigyn looked back and forth between the two of them, her expression somewhere between alarm and betrayal.

"Screw you!" Ivar exclaimed. Hvitserk scoffed and looked down, shaking his head. "All of you. He never did anything wrong. He is our father. And that is the end of it. You all sound like a bunch of Christians."

"I love our father as much as you do—" Ubbe said, but was interrupted by Ivar.

"Who said I loved him, Ubbe? I said I admired him. He's Viking. And you are soft." Ivar's voice was defensive, challenging, angry; as he usually was.

"I am not soft! None of us—" Ubbe gestured to his other brothers and to me. "— are soft. But we want to understand what our father did, and what he was."

He crouched down in front of Ivar, glancing up at Sigyn before making eye contact with Ivar. "As his son, his fame does not interest me. What he used his power for—" Ubbe pressed a finger to his temple. "— now that would interest me."

"By now, my brothers, there will be a lot of anger in Kattegat. Now they know the truth. Our father betrayed a whole generation of people," Hvitserk said.

"So if he ever came back—" Sigurd started to say, causing Bjorn to sit up straighter and stare at his brother.

"I don't think he is ever going to come back!" Bjorn exclaimed, frustrated. "I think what happened in Paris finally broke him. You all can say whatever you want, but he was a human. People started to talk as if he was a God — he was not a God! He was a man! A man with many dreams and many failings. I've learned that in the years since he went away. If I was him, I wouldn't come back."

I glanced at my sister now, who was watching Bjorn sadly.

"Despite all his failings, he is still the greatest man in the world to me," Bjorn looked down at the ground again as finished his sentence.

"He cared for you — he cared for all of you," Sigyn said, looking to each prince in turn. "He made mistakes, but as Bjorn said, he is only human." Bjorn and Ivar nodded, but Hvitserk and Ubbe shook their heads.

"Sigyn, we were not lucky as you were to have a father that was there for us. If he truly cared enough, he would have stayed." Ubbe told her. His voice was gentle, as it always was when he spoke to her, but I could hear the frustration behind his words. "You should learn that about love now; love means loyalty. Dedication. You don't abandon those you love."

I watched my sister grapple with finding the right thing to say. Ivar reached a hand behind him, blindly reaching for Sigyn's own. Once he had grabbed it, he guided it to his shoulder before letting it go. Her fingers traced shapes onto his shirt.

"I must go to your home now, Vali, Sigyn," Bjorn looked towards each of us in turn. "I have more preparations for the voyage to discuss with you father, and now I should talk to him about this as well." I nodded at him.

"I will go with you," I replied, and looked towards Sigyn, who met my gaze.

"I should stay here, then. There is no need for both of us to go," She decided.

"Perhaps we should head back to Kattegat early," Ubbe suggested, looking to his brothers. "See the reactions of the people."

"We already know how the people will react, Ubbe," Hvitserk said. "But yes, we should go and see what we can do."

The journey to my home was longer than usual; we had gone around Kattegat instead of cutting through it, which was the quickest way there, but didn't seem appropriate. A silence hung between Bjorn and I for most of the journey.

"You did not speak," Bjorn said finally, just before we had reached my home. "You did not speak when we were discussing my father."

I nodded at him. "It was not my turn to speak. Not my conversation to have." Bjorn let out a short hum of amusement.

"I think you discount your wisdom. Or maybe your importance," Bjorn decided. I didn't have an answer to that.

We dismounted our horses as we reached out family's land. Bjorn walked ahead of me, but stopped slowly and leaned against one of my father's many souvenirs from past raids. I stopped beside him, and he glanced at me before nodding his head over to the water. When I followed his gaze, I was met with my parents wading in the shallows with the little model ships I had helped him make.

My father must have noticed our presence somehow, because he turned to look at us before he walked over. Bjorn drew close to him, then spoke in a low voice.

"Did you know Ragnar lied to us all? The settlement in Wessex was destroyed as soon as we left." My father looked from Bjorn to me, then to the ground as he thought for a moment. He nodded, glancing back to me before looking Bjorn in the eyes again.

"I knew," He said. "A farmer who had escaped the slaughter told you father and I what had happened. Then, Ragnar killed him, so no one else would find out."

"You were a good friend to my father," Bjorn replied simply.

"Bjorn? Vali?" My mother's voice reached my ears, and I turned from the men to her, smiling.

"Helga," Bjorn answered, immediately walking towards her.

"Hello, Mamma," I called to her, following Bjorn again.

"What brings you back so soon, Vali? I thought you were going to be gone hunting for another week," My mother questioned as she walked out of the water and met us on the sand, embracing me.

"I decided to come back early. We caught plenty of game," I lied, but she nodded and smiled as she drew away from me. She turned to Bjorn.

"And what brings you here, Bjorn?"

"I was just coming to see how the boats were progressing," Bjorn explained.

"What do you say, Helga? What shall we tell him?" My father asked, walking along the docks.

"We think that it won't be long before you have boats ready and able to take you to the Mediterranean Sea," My mother told Bjorn happily.

"If it exists," My father muttered.

"Of course it exists," Bjorn insisted, looking up from the model boat my mother had placed in his hands.

"It's just a map, Bjorn; marks on a paper. A child could have drawn it! How can we know it's real?" My father asked. Bjorn studied the boat more as he thought over his words carefully.

"I learned from my father. The only way to tell if something is real..." Bjorn knelt down, gently pushing the model back into the sea. "...is to sail there."

I would like to think I can remember everything of that day — of most days spent at the hunting cabin, in Kattegat; with my friends, with my sister; the days that bled into each other and the nights that ended with sunrise instead of slumber; that phase in my life where I was preparing for the rest of it, learning the arts and trades and traditions of my people.

Indeed, I would certainly like to think that nothing of those days has escaped my memory. But as I write this, and as I try to recall every moment of every day & night spent in the sweet comfort of home, of youth, of camaraderie with those whom I still love most in the world, I recognize that the mind is never so sharp as to be able to recall every last detail or feeling from many years prior. My mind is not as sharp as it once was, either — I have accepted that soon, if it hasn't already, it will begin to fail me.

Perhaps not all of this story happened in the way I remember it — who is to say, when so few of us are left and still able to recount our adventures? — but the stories of my people & my past deserve to be told. Otherwise, who will remember the Norsemen? The Vikings are gone. I am one of the last to be able to remember the Golden Age. This story is mine to tell.

tags // @peachyboneless @youbloodymadgenius sorry y’all probably forgot about this fic its been so long lmaoo i’ll unadd you if you want

#vikings fanfic #vikings #vikings tv show #valley of kings saga #ragnarssons #ivar the boneless #ubbe ragnarsson #hvitserk ragnarsson #sigurd snake in the eye #bjorn ironside

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shutteredislands · 3 years

Text

REYLO MODERN AU FIC RECS

Hi!! I spent my entire winter break reading reylo fics and I feel like I’ve found some gems! I’m boring and don’t like angst, so most of these are pretty fluffy, however, always read the tags before reading. Anyways, happy reading!

Already Home - College, Roommates, A/B/O, Soulmates AU - Complete - Rated E - 79k

“Oh stop being all Alpha-y.” She flexes her foot, rolling her ankle as if to prove a point, and he doesn’t miss the wince that crosses her expression. “You aren’t my Alpha, and you definitely aren't my soulmate,” she mutters.

He can’t help but let out a dry laugh. “Thank god for small mercies.”

Okay so this is a trope fest but it was so good! I’m not gonna explain the plot in depth because I think going in blind is best for this!

Baby, It's Just Biology - Professor/Student, A/B/O AU - Complete - Rated E - 113k

For Rey Jackson, trying to finish your degree in Biomedical Science at Harvard is difficult enough when you're one of the few Omegas on campus.

It's made even more difficult when your Professor is the one to trigger your heat. You can't help it, it's just your biology.

An Alpha Omega love story.

This is the perfect balance of angst, fluff and pure smut. This one Is a lot angstier than anything else on this list, but you can see every stage of this relationship and I loved it so much! Please read the tags on this one!

I’ve got you (under my skin) - Nanny/Single Parent AU - On Hiatus - Rated E - 81k

“Hi, I’m Rey. I’m here for the—”

“Nanny,” Ben blurts out dazedly, still trying to remember how to form coherent thoughts. “You’re the nanny.”

Her smile hitches up a little wider. “Well, I might be.”

Suddenly, Ben thinks he might be in for a whole new world of problems.

Because Rey Johnson is still most likely the only thing standing between him and disaster, that much hasn’t changed, not by a long shot.

And Ben can’t seem to stop staring at her mouth.

In which Ben hires Rey to watch his son... but he can’t seem to stop watching her.

Okay so I almost never read WIPs, but this one was left off in a pretty good place so don’t worry about cliffhangers or anything. I am a sucker for single dad!Ben so expect more of these. I loved this fic so much and get ready for a SMUTFEST.

Light My Fire - Rivals to Lovers, College, A/B/O AU - Complete - Rated E - 20k

When rivals Ben and Rey break into a professor's office together, it comes out that Rey might not be the Beta she thinks she is.

I’ve never been the biggest reader of enemies to lovers, until this. This was so so so good! I loved their banter so much, and this is another smutfest lol.

Peacock - Fake Dating, Enemies to Lovers, Neighbors AU - Complete - Rated E - 72k

Thanks to a series of misunderstandings, failed attempts at flirting, and loud Katy Perry music, Ben grows to hate his new neighbor.

Proposing to her wasn't the best solution to his problems.

This is, hands down, one of the funniest fics I have ever read. I cried actual tears because of how funny this is. Slowish burn, but their banter will keep you engaged the whole time. I love this so much!!

An Unexpected Vacation - Scientist, A/B/O AU - Complete - Rated E - 62k

“You don’t care that someone, that people will watch you fuck?” He looks two seconds away from puking. “Like multiple, multiple people will be able to describe your vagina. They’ll probably analyze it in a boardroom. Someone will feel proud about a shitty PowerPoint full of annotated pictures. They will use words like ‘arousal fluid’ and consult charts and these things will never not be digitally saved. That doesn’t bother you?”

“Are you suggesting my vagina is unworthy of analysis?”

In which Rey attempts to bolster her bank account by volunteering to fuck an Alpha in a scientific study. Plans go pear-shaped when she accidentally triggers scientist!Ben’s first Rut.

This was a really funny smutfest and I loved that. I loved Rey and Ben so much, and Ben was the perfect “I hate everyone but you” boyfriend! I love this!

She Doesn’t Normally Bite - Single Parent/Teacher AU - WIP - Rated E - 37k

Ben Solo is a single dad to 6-year old Ellis. Her teacher isn't the old-cat lady that he expects and naturally, sparks fly when they meet. Rey helps show Ben that he is allowed to be happy and the romance is DELICIOUS. There will be the happy ending we all deserve.

Both Ben and Rey have a lot to navigate, and of course - things are never straight forward.

Tw: Bens wife died when their daughter was born - whilst it is mentioned periodically, it does not form a significant part of the story. There'll also be warnings in the notes for the particular chapters it'll be mentioned in.

THIS THE ONLY WIP I WILLL EVER READ REY AND BEN ARE SO FREAKING CUTE AND ELLIS IS SUCH A CUTE KID AHHHHHHH! That is all.

Down an Inch, Up an Inch - A/B/O, Soulmates, Gym Rats AU - Complete - Rated E - 60k

Omega instructor Rey has always been the master of her domain at Rebel Belle Barre and wouldn't dream of dating an Alpha.

When her new neighbors at Supremacy Bootcamp start ruining her classes with their terrible music, she storms over to give them a piece of her mind. She challenges the beefy ex-Marine owner Ben Solo to a plank-off and the loser has to take the other's class. When they spark an unusual connection, can Rey stay away for long?

Has she bitten off more than she can chew with the gentle giant Alpha with the warm, sad eyes?

SMUT FREAKING FESTTTTT. Okay but I loved these two so much, even though I am opposed to working out in any shape or form! I love the non-traditional soulmate part, and I really loved Rey in this.

Tea for Two - Enemies to Lovers, University Setting AU - Complete - Rated E - 67k

'"This is a tea house, you know." The plummy, ultra-posh voice startled Rey Kenobi from her day-dreaming, almost spilling the scalding hot coffee over her chest.'

Rey, an American former hacker, turned cyber security expert, has been commissioned by Oxford University to protect their systems from hackers. Unfortunately, she has to work closely with Professor Ben Solo, Merton Professor of English Literature who also happens to be Lord Ben Solo, member of the English peerage. And an unmitigated snob.

She drinks coffee. He drinks tea. He only reads classic literature. She reads Marvel comics. He is nobility. She is a nobody.

Things should go swimmingly, shouldn't it?

SO. MUCH. UNRESOLVED. SEXUAL. TENSION. I loved the slow burn aspect because I sat in bed because I was waiting for them to bone for so long. And after they bone its a smut and fluff-fest I loved this so much!

And They Were Roommates - Roommates, A/B/O AU - Complete - Rated E - 49k

“This isn’t going to work.” He points a finger between the two of them. “This arrangement.”

Her eyes narrow. “You didn’t put any specifications on who could apply.”

“Yeah…” He rubs the back of his neck then, the action making it look longer, making her wonder what it might feel like under her fingers. “You have to know that this isn’t a good idea.”

She knows what he means, she does—but she’s so tired of being brushed aside for her designation that she challenges him anyway. “And why not?”

His eyes bore into hers, his expression blank as he says, “Because I can tell how much scent-block you put on—and I can still smell you.”

In which Rey’s new roommate turns out to be a lot more than she bargained for.

EVEN. MORE. UNRESOLVED. SEXUAL. TENSION. Like these two would be eating cereal and I would be chanting, “bone! bone! bone!” the whole time. I loved these two, and the family aspect of this one was so good.

Imprints - A/B/O, Boss/Employee AU - Complete - Rated E - 74k

“I was happy you’ll be working with someone you know. He’ll take good care of you.”

Take good care of you.

The words send a shiver down her spine, sparking memories that flood her with embarrassment. She feels a strange itch just below her ear, her gland giving a phantom pulse as if her body remembers the incident even still.

Suddenly her triumph fades into dread, the idea of working here leaving a hollow pit in her stomach. Poe is still talking, but she doesn’t hear most of it. Her mind is firmly trapped in the vivid memories of six years ago— in a moment she wishes she could forget.

By the time she hangs up the phone— she isn’t sure anymore if she can do this.

Okay so this is pretty popular so I wont say too much, but it lives up to the hype. Smutfest, fluff and angst rolled into one beautiful fic!

Bespoke - Enemies to Lovers, Boss/Employee (?) AU - Complete - Rated E - 38k

When new stylist Rey Jackson receives a request to dress the hottest (and most unfashionable) new actor in Hollywood, she gets a lot more than she bargained for.

Mentally AND physically.

Because Ben Solo is freaking massive.

THIS WAS SO HOT OMG! Smutfest but also super cute. Another “I hate everyone but you” version of Ben I fell in love with. Loved this!

Incognito - Coworkers AU - Complete - Rated E - 30k

“Somehow Rey’s coworkers find out about her Daddy kink. They all kink shame her for it, except her coworker Ben. He has something else in mind.”

This was so funny! Ben and Rey were so cute, and I love Finn and Rose in this too! This was great!

A Home For Christmas - Single Parent, Sugar Daddy AU - Complete - Rated E - 109k

Rey is a struggling single mother who needs to do right by her daughter, even if it means she needs to steal. Ben is sad and lonely, recently divorced for the second time. When Rey's daughter picks him to help her find her mom, their paths cross and their Christmas becomes a little more bright.

This was so freaking cute OMG!! I know I say that a lot, but this was so adorable! I loved Ben and Rey so much, but Nova was obviously the star of the show. I cannot recommend this enough!

Unsuppressed - Office, A/B/O AU - Complete - Rated E - 49k

Rey had only ever encountered two Alphas in her entire life that had been unsuppressed. And now this third one that stunk up the entire building. Not that it stunk, his scent. In fact, it was the most delicious thing Rey had ever smelled. ///////////////////////////////////// Ben Solo closed his eyes as he rode down the elevator from the 40th floor to the lobby, trying not to reach up to his glands to scratch them. Somehow, it felt like he always caught the elevator that was dripping in the Omega’s scent. The one that wandered around the building without any suppressants. The one that smelled better than any Omega he had ever smelled before.

STRAIGHT FLUFF AND SMUT OMFG!!! I loved this so freaking much! This was whatever the opposite of unresolved sexual tension and slow burn. Like Ben and Rey tried to make this a slow burn but they could not keep their hands off of each other. I loved this!

Sunshine and Gunpowder - Hitman, Surprise Parents AU - Complete - Rated E - 48k

She’s a teacher who would do anything to protect her student. He’s a glorified hitman with a heart of black gold.

Together, they make up odd halves of a beautiful whole.

THIS WAS SO CUTE!! Like, yes, I know Ben is a hitman, but when I tell you he was the softest hit man I have ever read, Temiri was so cute in this! I loved Ben and Rey, and their UST made me love them even more. Han and Leia are also hilarious in this!

It Takes a Village - A/B/O, Surprise Parents AU - Complete - Rated E - 40k

Who knew that all it would take for Rey Johnson to interact with her enigmatic Alpha neighbor without wanting to melt into a puddle of hormones was a baby being abandoned at her doorstep?

Not her. That was for sure.

THIS IS THE CUTEST ONE YET! I REREAD THIS QUITE OFTEN! LIKE AHHHHHHH SO FREAKING FLUFFY! NOT EVEN A WHISPER OF ANGST AND A LOT OF SMUT I LOVED THIS SO FREAKING MUCH AHHHH! AND THE EPILOGUE MADE ME CRY!

Sensual Storytime - Office AU - Complete - Rated E - 23k

When Rey Johnson starts a new job, her initially antagonistic relationship with Ben Solo from IT turns into friendship... and maybe something more.

Little does she know he also moonlights as Kylo Ren, the creator of her favorite audio erotica. One day at the office, worlds collide, and she realizes the sweater vest-wearing nerd of her dreams is also the tattooed fantasy man she listens to while getting off every night...

THIS IS MY FAVORITE REYLO FIC EVER. I RECOMMEND THIS TO PEOPLE WHO DON’T EVEN LIKE STAR WARS! THIS IS COWORKER BANTER LIKE NO OTHER. AND THE SMUT ? UNPARALLELED. READ THIS NOW!

That is all I have time for right now, but I’ll make another list later if anyone would like that! Please take care of yourself and have a great day!

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vaguely-concerned · 3 years

Text

I wish my brain would come home from the war for a spell soon, because even in its absence there's something in me that's constantly working away at this idea of T.F. being 'a river man who can't swim'. It's one aspect of him that is always brought up and emphasized, so it has this hm. thematic weight, I suppose, that I can't stop coming back to.

To try to explain part of what I'm picking away at -- so you have 'a river man who can't swim', and at the same time 'His people had always waved away concerns over primitive magic and “cartomancy”, but now Tobias began to seek out ever more dangerous means to bend the cards to his will' . I've always had a hard time trying to divine whether this is supposed to mean that he's alone among his people in doing magic with/through the cards or not, but I think it's at least clear that no matter what he's certainly unique in how far he is able (and willing) to take it and that unfettered it can be dangerous.

THUS he's quite heavily framed as someone who is at once both less and more than what he 'should' be (well hello there bi/queer coding haha). And also there's an element of this being specifically in the context of who he is when taken with where he's from; there's this nebulous sense that on some level he's bad at being what he is, even as he still indelibly is that thing. He's been cast out by his people and has this lack of a skill hanging over him that marks him as... idk, somehow fundamentally unsuited to survive the world they inhabit (EVEN as he chooses to live much of his life near the water/ocean anyway, despite this lack)? But he's still always immediately recognized as one of them, and doesn't seem to think of himself any other way either. He has to find or make space for himself in between, somehow. (I SAID QUEERCODING AND I MEANT IT lol)

And now that I think of it that has echoes to what he's doing with his name -- there is this sense that he still considers 'Tobias' to be his 'real' name, not an 'old' name or uh y'know the equivalent of a deadname. There's also a sense that he might not be entirely happy about it lol, but 'Tobias' and 'Twisted Fate' are both equally real in being his name. And 'Twisted Fate' is someone he deliberately made to be alone, which breaks my heart a bit. It's something he created for himself because losing Graves hurt him that badly, he literally just went 'Oh, okay, that's it, fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me, I'm giving up on the concept of love and human closeness entirely and I'll just become my own escapist fantasy so I won't have to touch that shit with a ten foot pole anymore goodBYE' haha. It's almost like... turning yourself into your own imaginary friend to have someone for company, because no one can be completely lonely for that long without something. And then he finds it uncomfortable/difficult when the borders start to blend when Graves is back ( :') ) and still knows him. It's easy to forget but he's literally never had to navigate that before, because Twisted Fate only exists for him because Graves suddenly didn't. I reckon you need some time to straighten that out in your head haha

(anyway long story short the ocean/water is love and he was never taught how to exist with it other than to either avoid it at all costs or drown, but now he has a partner again and they mutually save each other, from drowning, on page, and they're learning how to make it work and it's y'know good. maybe love is real thank you for coming to my ted talk etc. and goodnight)

#twisted fate #tf x graves #league of legends #can you......... SENSE my frustration at not being able to work on my TF POV fic for brain reasons lol #writing fiction is often how my mind explains itself to itself so it's exxxxtremely taxing when it just... won't #like I'll just have this very strong sense/vibe and wave my hands at my brain like 'EXPLAIN PLS??' and it's like 'no :)'#'I'll sit here and not have any fun with anything for another few weeks thank you :)'#so for now you'll have to suffer my incoherent rambling posts about it instead lol #depending on how it was done I think it could be very interesting/further this theme #if only one of his parents were from the riverfolk and the other was an outsider of some sort?#but I think there's already enough Theme to work with here regardless haha #long post

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deans-baby-momma · 2 years

Text

Forbidden

Chapter 23

Set in season 14 and follows Y/N, a young girl from the Apocalypse world as she tries to navigate this new place that she was thrust in after being rescued and the feelings she begins to have for someone she really shoudln’t be having them for.

Warnings: There’s a bit of angst, smut and fluff in each chapter. I will tag the smut chapters appropriately but if you’re following me and reading any of my stories, you know it’s gonna be there. LOL

WC: 1145

Dean, Sam and I are once again standing in the hallway outside the infirmary but this time Cas has joined us. We all listen intently for any sign of scuffle or conflict on the other side of the closed door.

Only a few moments after leaving the witch alone with the nephilim does that door open and Rowena steps out.

“And?” I ask, stepping forward in front of the three men.

“It's as I suspected. A Nephilim, for all its power, is an unnatural presence,” the red-headed witch explains. “Part human, part angel… It -- It doesn't quite fit. It's delicate. Its grace is what holds it in balance, and when Jack's grace was taken from him, his being fell into chaos. The -- The cells are gobbling each other up.”

“If it's grace he needs, he can have mine,” Castiel offers.

“No, dear, it won't do. Jack is part archangel. He needs a much stronger force and probably some kind of magic, and he needs it quick.”

“How quick?” Dean asks from his spot leaning against the wall, his arms crossed over his torso.

“I don't...I don't exactly know, but he's enterin' a critical phase. Sometimes he'll look just fine, but then his body will give way and...it'll be the end of him.”

I feel my heart breaking as I think of that sweet, gentle boy just fading away. I like Jack; I have always liked Jack. He could empathize and understand our predicament when we were first rescued. He helped a lot of the refugees, like me, acclimate to our new world. He made us laugh at the audacity of some of the things we went through. I can’t bear to think of life without him. I refuse to. He has to be okay. He just has to be.

I leave Rowena with the Winchesters and the angel as I step past the witch and join Jack in the infirmary.

“Hey Jack,” I say quietly as I approach the bed Jack is sitting on. “How’re you feeling?”

“Could be better,” he answers, despondently. “I’m dying, aren’t I?”

“We don’t know,” I answer truthfully, tears gathering up in my eyes. “We don’t know what is happening but I can promise you this; the Winchesters will do everything in their power to try and save you. People might think they are cold-hearted killers but they both have hearts of gold. They fight for the ones they care about and buddy, they care about you.”

“You think so?” Jack asks, looking at me with weak eyes. “Think Dean is fighting for you?”

“Wha-?”

“It’s okay Y/N,” Jack tells me, a feeble smile on his face. “I know. I know there is something between you and Dean. I can feel it and I can see it when you two are together. You love him-”

I open my mouth to object but Jack ignores me as he continues. “-and he feels something for you too. I might be young and naive but I’m also a very powerful being, although right now I’m feeling pretty impotent, I can sense things. I can sense your love for the oldest Winchester. I can sense the way your heart beat picks up and your breathing almost halts when he is near.”

“Okay,” I whisper, deciding to quit trying to deny it any longer. It wouldn’t matter anyway; Jack knows. “I do love him. But we just found out some discerning news and it’s made me reconsider everything.”

Jack’s whole demeanor changes. In one moment he is this weak and feeble person sitting on the bed, looking as though he can barely hold himself up to the next minute he is full of life and energy and jumping off the bed like he doesn’t have a care in the world.

“Let’s go on a trip!”

He grabs my hand and we practically run out of the infirmary together, heading to his room. I notice as we leave that neither the Winchesters, the witch or the angel are anywhere in sight.

Not long after we drag a suitcase from Jack’s closet and begin packing it up, Dean walks in with a glass of milk and a sandwich on a plate.

“Hey, pal. I brought you some carbs,” Dean says and then stops as he notices the half-filled luggage on the bed. “You, uh...You goin' somewhere?”

“Thought I'd go to Vegas,” Jack tells him, that big bright smile on his face. “Or maybe Tahiti.”

I wait with bated breath for the Winchester to thwart the idea completely. I understand the need to protect Jack and keep him safe, especially now since he is ailing for some unknown cause, but I want Jack to be able to do what he wants…and if he wants to go on a road trip, I will do everything in my power to make it happen. Even go up against Dean Winchester.

“Okay. Nice,” Dean says and I can’t help to stare at him, flabbergasted. He isn’t going to try to talk Jack out of it? “You think this is the best time?”

Oh, there it is. Now here comes the ‘we got to keep you here in the Bunker so you can die miserable and never see the world for what it really is’. Stupid!

“Pretty sure it is,” Jack says as he continues packing.

Dean sets the plate and glass on the table and steps toward the Nephilim. “Listen, Jack –“

Jack cuts him off though. “Since I've been alive, everyone assumed I would be this special "person" who goes on forever. Only now it looks like forever might be a couple of weeks, so -- We don't know that. What I do know is I'm done being special. Before my life is over, I want to live it. I-I just want a chance to… get a tan...to see a hockey game...get a parking ticket......get bored... and when it's all over...die.”

“So that's your plan, huh?” Dean asks and if I didn’t know better, I’d think I heard some awe and admiration in his voice.

“I don't want to waste time arguing,” Jack says with a shake of his head and goes back to packing. “I know you disagree.”

“Did I say I disagree?”

Both Jack and I turn and look at him like he’s grown a second head. “What? You-you-you….” I couldn't even get the words out.

“I’m what?” Dean asks. “Agreeing with him? Yea. Let’s take a road trip Jack!”

Jack smiles and looks at me then back to Dean. “Can Y/N come too?”

Dean takes a deep breath and exhales slowly. He looks at me for the first time since his mother told us about her pact with my father. There is a small trace of a smile on his lips when he says, “Sure. Go get packed Y/N.”

@lostinaseaoffictionalbliss @spnbaby-67 @tftumblin @sea040561 @delightfullykrispypeach @larajadeschmidt13 @atc74 @vicariouslythruspn @squirrelnotsam @sandlee44 @blacktithe7 @hoboal87 @mogaruke @deanwanddamons @supraveng @deandreamernp @akshi8278 @lyarr24 @wintersoldierwinchester @we-are-all-a-bunch-of-idjits @nancymcl @kazsrm67 @lostdarksoul6

#supernatural #spn #season 14 #dean winchester #sam winchester #mary winchester #y/n winchester #jack kline #bobby singer #angst #fluff #smut #dean x y/n

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