#*that was meant to say consumed by lust but ok i guess

[the-apocalypse-is-cancelled]

Asked my crush if he wanted to see a picture of my grub (Beelzegrub) and he said sure and then when I did he stopped responding. I need to stop trying to flirt by showing off my giant grubs or talking about bugs. And yet.

#maybe i killed him #Beelzegrub scared him so much I killed him dead #why can't someone be consumed with list when i talk about bugs #i can make it sexy i prommie chhcghxhfh #*that was meant to say consumed by lust but ok i guess

[asmobabe]

400 followers celebratory smut!

Mirror

Warning: 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERRACT

Word count: 1906 words

Content warning: Smut, dubious consent, alcohol consumption, slight exhibitionism, mirror fucking, semi-public sex.

Pairing: Female!MC x Asmodeus (Obey Me!)

They move to the dance floor, Asmodeus's hand on Ophelia's back. Her head is wrapped in a haze, equal parts of booze and beat coursing through her veins like liquid gold. It's dizzying, and it's exciting, and it burns. It's the best she's ever felt. Asmodeus pulls her closer so that when her hips swing it grinds against his, and she lets him, the usual shyness diluted by the neon lights. 

- I love this song! - she yells over the noise.

- I know, I do too! That's why I requested it!

Ophelia throws her head back with a smile, resting it on Asmo's shoulder. He can peek at the hem of her bra when she moves, and the Avatar of Lust relishes the thought that others might be seeing it too. The way her strapless dress threatens to give in, the mounts of her breasts already exposed. Asmodeus can sense the entire club watching them like vultures. Unfortunately, she soon notices and pushes the dress up, earning a whine from the demon. 

- Hey, not fair! I was enjoying the view!

- Sorry, dear. - she chuckles, turning to face him - We're in public, you know?

- And why is that a bad thing?

At the moment, Ophelia can't think of an answer. Maybe staring into the eyes of the Avatar of Lust while drunk wasn't the most exceptional idea. He couldn't charm her with magic, but those eyes worked an effect similar enough. 

- Like, we're not going to see anyone here ever again. What's the big deal? You're not afraid of a little crowd, are you? - his hands snake up her waist - They want to see. It's just a little skin anyway.

- Yeah, I guess... 

His gaze is heated, almost glowing under the neon lights. Ophelia meant to say something more, she's sure, but, little by little, all her thoughts turn into mud. Head empty, and at last, she relents. The words are breathed inches away from her lips, boiling with anticipation: 

- You'll put on a show, won't you, pet?

There's nothing left for the human to do but to melt into the kiss, throwing both arms over his shoulder to bring him closer. Asmodeus's touch leaves scalding wounds all over her body while his tongue licks away her last bit of caution as soon as access is granted. The feeling is intoxicating, dizzying, even, and it burns. He smells so good and tastes even better. It's strange, knowing they have an audience, and still, she doesn't feel uncomfortable. It's actually kind of thrilling! The moment the demon grabs a handful of her ass, Ophelia knows she's done for. 

- Asmo...! - she breaks the kiss, gasping for air. 

- I adore it when you say my name like that... You're so cute!

Asmo's grin is hectic as he starts to nuzzle her neck, tasting the sweat on her skin. He's playing dirty, and he knows it. Without even realizing it, the girl tilts her head to give him better access.

- Let's just... Let's just leave, ok? 

- Oh, I'm so sorry, dollface... The party's only getting started, and I don't want to go yet. But...  I did see that the bathroom is free right now... We could have some fun and come back later. 

His tone, warm and coaxing, makes it evident that he's enjoying the situation way too much. The truth is that he'd take the girl right there if she wanted him to. 

- What do you think? Do you want me to fuck you against the mirror? I have to say, the thought of dancing with you in my arms, cum dripping down your thighs... That really turns me on. You'd like that too, wouldn't you, pet?

Ophelia nods, unable to ignore the warm feeling deep inside her stomach. She lets him take her hand in his, guiding the exchange student through the crowd to the handicapped toilet. Asmodeus closes the door behind their back, and seconds later, the girl finds herself sat on top of the sink with her arms around him, way too dizzy to remember if he put her up there or if she climbed on her own. 

Their kisses have something desperate in them. Ophelia's fingers thread through Asmo's now messy curls, pulling him as close as she possibly can. Every bit of his mouth tastes like expensive liquor. The demon squeezes her waist so tightly it almost hurts, clearly as frantic as the human to have his wants satisfied. Hands cupping her breasts, his mouth travels south, pressing wet kisses on her neck and nibbling at her collarbone, sending shivers through her spine. Later she'd be sporting the most beautiful love bites, and there wouldn't be any doubts left over who she belonged to. He hoped she'd mark him too - it'd be lovely if they matched. He pushes her bra up and the dress down. The music blasting from the other side of the door is still audible, and Asmodeus meets the feverish tempo with the griding of his hips, meeting Ophelia's core. Flustered, she begins to work on undoing his belt. 

- You're so cute when you're impatient. 

The demon giggles, stopping her mid-action. He grabs both of her wrists, lifting her arms on top of her head with one hand, the other moving to move her underwear to the side. "Let's get this out of the way, shall we?", he whispers lightly to her ear. The girl can feel her blood boiling with want and, desperate, throws herself on his neck, taking advantage of their short distance and attacking the skin with needy lips. Asmodeus was granted his wish and reveled, groaning at the open-mouthed kisses pressed onto his throat. He spreads her legs further, caressing her thighs as if they have all the time in the world until finally cold air and cold fingers meet the wetness of her core as he teases her entrance. 

- Please, just fuck me already! - the girl whimpers. 

He inserts a finger and circles her clit with the heel of his palm. 

- You're making it hard to resist, doll... So wet, and I barely did anything.

Asmodeus goes back to ravaging her mouth, his kisses hungry like he means to consume her soul. Ophelia is lightheaded enough to consider letting him had he proposed it. He pumps in and out of her, soon adding a second finger to the equation as the girl struggles to free herself from the hand holding her arms up. She whines into his mouth, frustrated. 

- Asmo, please... Please, please, please!

- I gotta say, dollface, I love it when you beg. Do you think you're ready for me, baby?

Ophelia nods, so eager that it is almost pathetic. But it doesn't matter; nothing matters. The demon seems content at last and lets go of her arms, setting her free to continue what she'd previously started. She undoes his pants in record time, pushing the fabric down with a feverish craving in her eyes. All the teasing was worth it for that moment, for that look in her face, the Avatar of Lust thought. He feeds on it, on her hungry hands pumping him once, twice, before guiding him towards her aching cunt. They both grunt as he begins to enter her. 

His length drags through her velvet walls at a slow pace that soon picks up speed at the girl's request. Holding on to him for dear life, Ophelia rests her forehead on the demon's shoulder as he pounds into her with a wilder and wilder rhythm, making the sink shake. Without warning, Asmodeus pushes her off the washbasin, only to bend her over it. 

- Asmo! - she yelps.

He grabs her by the neck, a devilish grin on his lips. 

- Sorry, pet, I just couldn't handle depriving you of the view any longer.

Now grabbing onto the sink, she looks up to see herself in the mirror. Her face is a flushed mess of mascara running and lipstick smudged, and the hairstyle that took so long to perfect is nothing more than disordered curls. Her breasts are lolling out of the dress, and her bra is undone, resting somewhere on the bathroom floor. She's too focused on the mist covering her eyes to care about it. It's such an erotic image. Asmodeus pounds into her from behind, and she can do nothing but watch. He feeds on it, the demon himself the vision of lust. 

Ophelia bites her lip, trying to hold back a scream of pleasure as he hits her sweet spot. Asmodeus grabs on her waist, strong enough to leave fingerprints, utterly lost in the moment. The exchange student might paint a pretty picture as she watches herself get fucked, but nothing like the demon. He grunts and moans with reckless abandon, citrine eyes glued on his own reflection, sparing the girl a glance or two every once in a while. Contrasting with Ophelia, his appearance is still fairly in order. 

- Yes! Yes! Just like that! - she pleads. 

He keeps on, just like that. The girl's knuckles turn white as she holds on to the sink. The words fall out of her mouth like a jumble on the floor, a mantra of spilled words.

- I love you. I love you so much. Please, just like that.

- You're doing so good, doll. I love you too, so, so much! You're such a good pet. Now, focus on the mirror. See how pretty you look? You've never looked more beautiful.

Her cheeks flush more if that's possible. The heat on the bottom of her stomach is about to explode in a ball of fire. 

- I'm so close! - she cries.

That's music to Asmo's ears. He doesn't change a thing, even as he gets close himself and the usual stammered pace should come. Only when he can feel her walls clenching around him and see her eyes close with satisfaction that he allows himself to change speed. His hips stutter once, two, three times, and with a final moan, he empties himself inside of her. 

- You're such a pretty little whore, do you know that? - he asks, taking his cock out of her, watching the white cum spill. 

Ophelia can only nod. A frown reaches Asmodeus's face as he inquires:

- Are you tired? Do you wanna go home and sleep?

- What about the party? - she looks up.

- I don't care about the party, if you're not okay to dance, then I don't want to dance.

The exchange student thinks for a second. Her mind feels so soggy... A nap wouldn't hurt... 

- Yeah, let's go home.

She puts on her bra and gets her panties right, trying to ignore the feeling of Asmodeus' cum drenching the fabric. Her hair is such a mess. 

- I'll fix that for you. - says the demon, taking out a plastic comb from his back pocket. 

He sits on top of the toilet and starts running the comb through her hair, peppering her head with kisses every two seconds. She fixes her dress. 

- You did, so, so good, doll. Really. 

- Really? - she looks up at him, puppy-eyed.

- Really. I love you so much.

She smiles through the smudged makeup. 

- I love you most. 

#obey me #obey me smut #obey me asmodeus #obey me asmo #obey me asmo x mc #my writing #mine

[seokjinsdisciple]

Enemy - two

johnny x reader (this is mostly smut with some fluff thrown in because im soft for this man)

THIS IS BASED ON ENEMY AND WHILE YOU DON’T HAVE TO READ IT TO UNDERSTAND YOU PROBABLY SHOULD

it’s been three months since you got fucked by johnny in the elevator of your apartment building. and much to your own fault, you can’t stop thinking about him

UNEDITED

word count: 4k (this is literally so long for no reason)

warnings: language, fingering, degradation, choking, hair-pulling, overuse of the word kitten and sir and probably baby too, mentions of sex toys, vibrators, mutual masturbation for like a second, size kink if you squint, mentions of punishments, idk what to say... theres probably more because im a whore for johnny

You hadn’t spoken to Johnny since the incident. In fact, you’ve tried to avoid any encounters with him at all. You try to plan your day around whether he has already left or not, and while that's proven rather difficult with your classes, it's been working out ok. You had been avoiding him for a solid 3 months, only seeing him occasionally and practically sprinting away when you spotted him.

Granted, you have had a tough couple of months, sexual frustration forcing your thoughts into the depths of hell more often than not. You 100% blamed Johnny for this, unable to get his face from your mind and name from your lips as you came. And that’s when you were actually able to get yourself to finish. Johnny had ruined you, he had ruined orgasms for you forever. Your one night stands didn’t stand a chance, and not even your favorite black vibrator could get you there half of the time. 

Fuck Johnny and his stupidly gorgeous face, and mind consuming body. The past few months had been going like this. You had memorized exactly when Johnny would be in class, out with friends or doing god knows what. Allowing yourself those moments to take out your sexual frustrations. 

You had been sitting on your couch all day, counting down the minutes until the tell tale sound of Johnny’s front door closing. When you finally heard it, you sprang into action, sprinting to your room and throwing open the drawer of your nightstand. You groaned as you tore your pants off as quickly as you could, already dripping from the thoughts of Johnny that had been swirling around your head all day long. 

You let out a too loud whimper when you finally pressed your fingers to your clit. Taking no time at all to start relieving some of the pressure that had been making you ache all day long. You were certain that if anyone on your floor was home, they would be able to hear your broken moans and whimpers. The sheer desperation outweighing your rational thoughts to quiet the hell down. 

In fact, your thoughts had completely left as you pressed your vibrator against yourself, biting into the pillow nearest to you as you writhed around on your bed. You were moaning broken fragments of Johnny’s name now, so desperate to cum yet so far from reaching your high that all reason had left your brain. 

You sat up quickly at the sound of the knocking. The panic of being caught by one of your neighbors causing you to almost fall as you tugged on your sweats and rushed to the door. 

You pulled upon your front door without much thought, apologies preparing to spill out of your lips until you met the dark eyes of Johnny. His hair had grown in the months you’d barely seen him. Your eyes flitted from his shoulder length blonde hair down to his rosy cheeks and bitten lips. 

“You’re so fucking loud,” he growled, walking into your apartment and closing the door in front of your frozen figure, “Are you always moaning my name this loud when I’m in class, kitten?”

“Johnny I can-,” you started, breath hitching in your chest as he gripped your jaw firmly. 

“I think that was a yes or no question,” Johnny spoke, “Do you always touch yourself when I’m gone?”

You were trembling at his dominant gaze, the stickiness between your thighs practically doubling at both his appearance and his words. You nodded, heat filling your entire body at the sheer embarrassment of him knowing how fucked you had been ever since that day on the elevator. 

“Words,” he growled, “Don’t make me punish you.”

“Yes, sir,” you whimpered, heat thrumming through your body as his thumb rubbed your jaw, raising an eyebrow at the new nickname. 

“Good girl,” he praised, cupping your cheek as he pressed a frantic kiss to your lips. Taking no time at all to deepen the kiss, licking your bottom lip. You opened up for him easily, groaning as his tongue explored your mouth, hands finding purchase on his chest. His lips trailed down to your neck, biting and sucking on the most sensitive parts of your neck. 

“Johnny please,” You begged, your hands finding their way into his hair. Your fingers tangling and tugging at the long blonde locks, smiling in satisfaction at his groan.

“Oh no baby,” Johnny said, grinning up at you and wiggling his eyebrows, “There’s no way in hell you call me Johnny after I hear the word sir leave that sinful little mouth of yours.”

You can’t help but roll your eyes at him, smacking his arm lightly. “Shut up.”

“Are you familiar with the color system?” He asked, placing a gentle bite on your earlobe. 

“Red for hard stop, yellow for pause and green for all good?” You asked, half moaning as Johnny’s hands slipped up your shirt. 

“Yeah that's the one,” Johnny muttered, “Color?”

“Green,” you whined as he pinched your nipple between his fingers, rolling gently.

“Good, because your brattiness is starting to piss me off, kitten,” he said, bringing his other hand around your neck and putting delicious pressure on your pulse. “Now I’m curious baby, just how long have you been getting off when I’m not supposed to be home? How many times have you come with my name on your lips?”

“Since-,” you started, “Since that day in the elevator.”

Johnny just tutted at you, forcing you to meet his gaze, “And you’ve been hiding what’s mine from me all this time?”

“I wouldn’t say it’s yours,” you smirked, chuckling at the light smack he gave your ass. 

“If it wasn’t mine, kitten,” he snarled, “then you wouldn’t come thinking of me. And by your pretty little moans earlier, we all know that’s not the case.”

At that Johnny threw your form over his shoulder, giving another playful hit to your ass before leading you to your bedroom. He set you gently on the bed, caging your body with his arms and pressing a swift kiss to your lips. You were about to question why he’d torn his lips from you, but you were stopped by his mischievous grin and the emergence of your still vibrating black vibrator. 

“Oh my god, Johnny,” you hit him in the shoulder, “turn it off!”

“Is this the Johnny you kept moaning so loudly about? He so rudely interrupted my afternoon nap you know.”

“You are insufferable!” you whined, trying to cover your embarrassed face with your hands. 

“Use it.”

“What?” you asked, peeking out from behind your hands. 

“I want to see you use it,” Johnny said simply, “You’ve been using this to cum all on your own. I wanna see how lil Johnny has been treating you.”

“Johnny you can’t be serious.”

“Oh I’m very serious,” he said, pulling your pants down for you, whistling lowly at the sight of your arousal smeared across your thighs, “It is a shame you misbehaved so much and need to be punished, kitten. I love the way you look with my fingers inside of you. Too bad.”

“Johnny, please,” you groaned, imagining just how incredible his fingers would feel right about now. 

“I thought I told you to call me sir, hm?” He asked, slapping the inside of your thigh before handing you the vibrator, “Now get to work.”

You let out a little whine as Johnny settled himself across the bed, staring intently at you. You took a deep breath, turning on your vibrator again, sucking your bottom lip into your teeth as you pressed it to your clit. Your eyes met with Johnny’s, his pupils dilated and lust-filled as he took in your already wrecked appearance. 

Your hips jolted, the power from the vibrator enough to have a familiar string of moans leaving your lips. You whined at the sight of Johnny palming himself over his sweats, reaching out with your free hand to try and touch him in some way. 

“Awe poor baby needs help?” Johnny pouted at you, “But I thought you could get off by yourself?”

You just groaned at this, endless afternoons of you coming so close to the edge but never making it flashing in your mind as you tried, and failed to prove him wrong. Your eyes never left his, and you were getting sick of the mischief that was in his. He was clearly taking too much pleasure from teasing you. Well two can play at that game. 

“Don’t you want to play with me, sir?” You asked, moaning as you slid a finger into yourself, never breaking eye contact with Johnny. You let out an exaggerated whine, spreading your legs further apart before pouting, “I guess I’ll just get off all by myself.”

Johnny smirked at you, an all knowing look in his eye as he sat up. He pressed a featherlight kiss to your cheek, and then your neck before tugging your shirt off of your body. 

“You’re lucky I’m so nice, kitten,” He grinned at you, turning the vibrator off  and throwing it from the bed before grazing his teeth over your nipples, “And so impatient.”

He may have called himself impatient, but his touches were light and teasing. Barely there, and by the time you had realized where his fingers were they had moved somewhere else. It was torture. 

“Please, sir,” you begged, groaning as his fingertips grazed your clit for a second. 

“What’s the matter, kitten?” He asked, feigning confusion, “I thought you wanted me to play with you?”

“You know that’s not what I meant,” you argued back, voice getting quieter at the dangerous look Johnny sent you. 

“You aren’t being very nice for someone who is trying to get what they want,” Johnny warned, nipping down the length of your body before placing a bit on the inside of your thigh. He let out a pleased sigh as his eyes met with your dripping sex, placing gentle kisses all around it, but never in the place you wanted it. “And you never answered my question, kitten. How many times have you cum with my name on your lips, hm?”

“I--,” you started, sucking in a breath as he pressed a gentle kiss to your core, “I haven’t been able to since that day. I’ve only cum a handful of times.”

Johnny pulled away from your core, a surprised look crossing his face before he gave you a gentle smile. “Fuck. No wonder why you’re so worked up kitten, god. It’s been almost 3 months and you haven’t cum properly?”

You nodded at him, hands intertwining with his as he worked his mouth back up your body. 

“My poor baby, so needy. A pretty little slut like you can’t go that long without cumming,” Johnny said pressing his lips anywhere they could reach, “Let me take care of that for you. Come sit on my face, let me show you how much I missed you."

You ignored his laugh as you desperately shot up, practically throwing him down on the bed. You would be lying if you said you hadn’t spent more hours than not thinking about the way his tongue had felt pressed against your heat.

You could’ve cried when you finally straddled his head. His large hands pulling you down to settle on his mouth. Surprisingly he got to work right away, licking furiously at your desperate clit, fingers spreading and kneading your ass as you melted for him. You couldn’t help but fall forward as his ministrations continued, hands landing on either side of his torso as your eyes were met with the outline of his cock. 

You whimpered at a particularly powerful lick, hands immediately reaching to untie his sweatpants. You tried to wiggle them off, Johnny lifting his hips to help you. You drooled when you finally saw his cock standing proud and red, aching for some sort of friction. Clearly Johnny had a lot more self-control than you. 

You wasted no time pulling his dick in your mouth, moaning around his length as he kept passionately eating you out. He was acting like he was a man starved, messily licking into you and making the most lewd noises. Not that you were any better, suckling loudly around his length. 

“Such a desperate slut,” Johnny moaned, pulling away from you for a second, “I try giving you a reward and you don’t last a minute before trying to fill one of your holes with my cock.”

You moaned around him, his words causing your pussy to shudder as he slipped a long digit into your folds. His finger, partnered with his tongue was too much. It felt too good. With the weight of Johnny’s cock on your tongue, his finger hitting your sensitive spots and his mouth ravishing your clit, you were fast approaching your high. 

You let him slip out of your mouth, an unashamed moan leaving your lips as you started grinding your hips desperately against his hot tongue. 

“Please, sir,” you moaned, “Please please please let me cum, I’m so close. I’ll do anything. I’ll be good, please just let me cum.”

He sucked your clit harsley before muttering, “Cum.”

You came almost immediately, sheer pleasure rocking through your body as you spasmed in Johnny’s hold. Legs shaking as you gripped onto the bed sheets for any sort of hold. 

You could feel Johnny’s hands rubbing soothing circles across your skin, gently flipping you over so you were laying on the bed. He kissed you gently as you came down from your high, thumb rubbing your hip bone gently until your breathing regulated. 

When your eyes fluttered open you were met with a grinning Johnny, pressing a soft kiss to your nose and cupping your face with both of his hands. 

“Hi,” you giggled, smiling back at him.

“Hi,” he smiled back, “Better?”

You nodded at him, bringing him back down into a kiss, a much needier kiss. When you pulled away, you pouted. 

“What now?” Johnny joked, playfully rolling his eyes at you. 

“You are wearing too many clothes.”

He let out a full laugh then, pecking your lips once more before sitting up and throwing his shirt off. You let your hand run up his abdomen, fingers grazing the well-defined sections of his abs, before reaching his cock. You wrapped your hand tightly around his member, opening your mouth easily to him as he crashed his lips against yours. 

“Color?” he asked, breathing heavily as you continued to pump his length in your hands. 

“Green,” you said, “Fuck, so green. Johnny please fuck me.”

And just like that Johnny snapped into his dom persona, his eyes darkening once again. He pushed your hand away from him, his other hand wrapping around your neck. 

“I thought I told you to call me sir.” He growled, slapping the inside of your thigh before sliding two fingers in your cunt. He started a relentless pace, teeth biting at your lips before kissing you. He squeezed your throat a little tighter, eyes flickering to yours to check for any discomfort. When he didn’t see any he latched his mouth onto you nipple, biting and sucking there as he began scissoring you open. Moans were tumbling out of your mouth, your already sensitive body thrumming with pleasure as he ravished you. 

When he deemed you ready enough he threw your legs over his shoulders, your body pressed together as he bottomed out with a groan. His hair was dangling down and brushing against your body, tickling you slightly as he moved. You were absolutely throbbing around him. The stretch of his cock causing your walls to flutter around him. 

“Fuck,” you muttered, feeling him so deep in your that you could’ve sworn you could see a bulge in your stomach. He pulled out slowly as he felt you relax around him, thrusting back harshly. 

He kept a brutal pace, your body inching up the bed at the power of his thrusts. The two of you were loud, Johnny’s grunts spurring on your moans. You could tell that he was just as worked up as you were, biting and sucking any space of skin he could connect his mouth to. 

“God, your little hole was made for my cock, huh kitten?” Johnny moaned, wrapping his hand around your neck once more, the moans flying out of your mouth praise enough for him to keep going. 

You were being fucked so hard you couldn’t see straight, the breath knocked out of you from both Johnny’s thrusts and his hold around your neck. The lack of oxygen to your brain was creating a delicious fog of pleasure. 

You protested as Johnny pulled out, going silent as he turned you over and harshly slapped your ass. You smiled dumbly as he slid his cock back into you, feeling so happy and full. You had been dreaming about his cock being in you again for months, and you couldn’t be happier that he was currently fucking you dumb with it. 

You couldn’t help but clench your pussy around his cock as he wrapped your hair in his hand and pulled. He groaned at the sensation, keeping your hair in one hand and grabbing your hip with the other.  He was frantic at this point, pulling your hip to meet his thrusts. 

You weren’t going to last. You weren’t going to last with your hair being pulled, and him hitting your spots so powerfully. He knew it too, the way you were clenching around him and cursing were dead giveaways. And he didn’t stop as his thrusts lost their rhythm, simply reaching his hand between your legs and circling your clit with his fingers. 

You took this as permission to cum, probably asking him for permission anyways. You had no idea what words were coming out of your mouth. You knew you were moaning, and shaking and so so close. It wasn’t until you heard the fuck fall from his lips and felt the warmth of his cum filling you that your snapped. Body shaking in pleasure as your eyes rolled to the back of your head. 

White noise filled your head as you clenched and unclenched around Johnny’s cock. Johnny was breathing just as heavily as you were, his body pressed firmly against your back. He took a few moments to collect himself, before gently pulling out of you and flopping to the side. He pulled you gently to his side, tucking the loose strands of hair behind your ear as the two of you lay in silence. 

“We should shower,” he whispered, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of your head. 

“I don’t wanna move,” you groaned, “I don’t think I can move after that.”

Your head wiggled as Johnny’s chest shook with laughter, a foreign feeling filling your stomach as you smiled back at him.  

“Well I will take full responsibility and carry you to the shower myself,” he said, sitting abruptly before pulling you completely in his arms, your legs automatically wrapping around his torso as he stood up. 

“Shower or bath?” he asked, setting you on the bathroom counter when he reached your bathroom. 

“Shower,” you decided quickly, pouting your lips for a kiss, which Johnny happily obliged, “Then we can eat dinner faster.”

“My thoughts exactly,  kitten,” he smiled at you, checking the temperature of the water before grabbing both of your hands and leading you under the spray. He got started washing your body, giving your muscles a light massage as he lathered the soap. 

He was taking care of you so well, cleaning every part of your body as gently as he could, pressing kisses anywhere he pleased. You couldn’t help but panic a little bit at the domesticity of it all. Just this morning you were calling him your sworn enemy, and now here you were, being cared for by him. Letting him lather your shampoo and wash your hair. It was almost painful the explosion of butterflies you felt, your heart beating out of your chest as you studied his face. His tongue was poking out slightly, focused on massaging your scalp. He was so damn handsome.

“Quit staring,” he laughed, “I know I'm irresistible but I don’t want you to get shampoo in your eyes.”

“Oh shut up,” you laughed, dumping some shampoo in your hand so that you could wash his hair too. 

He toweled you off when you were done, pecking your lips quickly before heading back to your bedroom and pulling on his sweats. You followed behind him, pulling on some comfy clean clothes and heading into the living room. You watched as the muscles in his back tensed while he was looking for any sort of food, and you laughed when he told you to buy more groceries. 

You had definitely misjudged him, a fact that was clearly evident as you talked over boxes of take out. It turns out one of his grandparents had passed away, which is why he didn’t do any work on his group project, and his mom was struggling financially right now so he moved into this cheap place to send her any leftover money he could. 

“I feel like a dick,” you whined, shoving another piece of chicken into your mouth.

“You didn’t know,” Johnny reminded you, gently rubbing your calf, “Although I like the title girlfriend a lot better than enemy.”

“I’m not saying yes until you take me on a date,” you kicked him gently in the stomach, grinning at his fake hurt expression. 

“We all know I won’t have to wait long,” he laughed, “I’m not the one who had any trouble getting off after the frist time.”

You sat up at this, tickling fingers ready, “You are so annoying, Johnny. Don’t get cocky!” 

You both settled down after calling a truce,a smile ong your lips and Johnny’s hand in yours as you watched some stupid movie. Being with Johnny felt right, it felt good. He was easy to talk to, and could make you laugh so hard ramen came out of your nose. That night, when you fell asleep on the couch and woke up on the bed, you knew exactly who had carried you there. A snoring Johnny beside you with his arm draped over your stomach. Yeah, you had definitely misjudged him. What better way to apologize than by waking him up with your mouth. 

So that's exactly what you did. He woke up pretty quickly, groaning as realized the wet warmth that surrounded his cock. 

“Mmm, good morning to you too,” he joked groggily, running one of his hands through your hair as you continued sucking. 

You watched as his breathing started to escalate, abs tensing as he let out beautiful moans. His eyes were hazy, clearly still sleepy, but they were trained on yours. He pulled you off of his length easily, dragging your face up for a slow but intense kiss. You lifted your butt as he pulled your shorts down, lips never parting. Quiet breathy moans filling your room as he pushed his length slowly into you. It was slow and lazy and perfect. His hands held onto your hips as you rode him. 

“You look beautiful,”he whispered, rubbing one of his hands up and down your waist. 

“You don’t look half-bad yourself,” you joked, hips stuttering at the pleasure. It didn’t take long for the two of you to finish, kissing lazily while you fucked and not stopping after the two of you had finished. 

“Hey Johnny,” you started, pulling away for just a moment, “I really really like you.”

“Hey Yn,” he repeated, kissing your nose, “I really really like you too.”

You watched as his eyes crinkled while he flashed you a smile, and yeah you had a feeling you were fucked.

#johnny smut #johnny x reader #johnny suh #johnny seo #johnny scenarios #johnny fluff #johnny fanfic #johnny #nct smut #nct fluff #nct #nct 127 smut #nct 127 fanfic #nct 127 fluff #nct 127 scenarios #nct 127

[3pirouette]

Title: An Experimental Design

By: TriplePirouette/3Pirouette

Disclaimer: They're not mine.

Distribution: AO3  Anyone else please ask first :) 

Story Summary: Sequel to “What Number?”, also prompted from Steggy Bingo Bash Prompts.  Takes place about a week after that fic. 

Chapter A/N: This chapter is for everyone who has been posting their theories about what will happen. It's always been planned this way since I first started writing, so I hope you enjoy. 

Chapter 8: Fallout

~*~

She held his hand out the door, and in the backseat as they drove back to the base. He didn’t acknowledge the tremor in her hand out loud, or that fact that while they both knew that Howard wouldn’t purposely hurt them, everything about the situation was dangerous and unknown.

She only let go when they arrived at the base, slipping the mask of propriety and duty back on, her worried eyes hiding behind a false confidence he could see right through.

~*~

The very first thing she did when they got back to apartment was run for the bathroom, retching sounds filtering all the way back to Steve at the front door. He moved slowly, taking his time to get to her and allow her some privacy. The procedure itself had been quick and nearly painless: two shots each, right in the upper arm, though Steve’s needles were decidedly larger than the ones they used on Peggy. It had taken them longer to get there and back in the car.

Steve grabbed a washcloth and ran it under cool water as he slipped next to her in the bathroom, handing it to Peggy as he crouched down. “Guess he wasn’t lying about the side effects, huh?”

She nodded, wiping at her mouth and then pillowing her head on her arm, still kneeling at the toilet. “The headache’s started, too.”

He gently ran a hand over her back. “What can I do?”

“I think I’ll stay here for the moment… stomach’s not all that settled yet.”

He rubbed her back gently. “Tea?”

“That would be lovely,” she murmured, her face pinching as she started to feel the waves of nausea again.

Steve let her be, knowing there was little he could do, and set about making her tea. Howard had listed a dozen likely side effects and a few rare ones they were supposed to be aware of that could last hours or days. Howard wasn’t sure how long the doses would last, but he’d given Steve four times more than Peggy and said to keep their fingers crossed and try to avoid excessive touching.

Steve wasn’t going to avoid comforting Peggy while she was crouched over the toilet, but a tiny peck and some gentle touches were hardly the same level of skin to skin contact they’d indulged in recently. He poured the hot water over the tealeaves and waited, watching the water darken. The list of side effects we daunting, but so far, Steve felt fine.

Fine, he thought, was putting it lightly. He felt the clearest he had in days, maybe even months. He opened the kitchen window, taking in the late morning sun and took a deep breath, the light air mixing with the soft scent of Peggy’s tea. He felt awake. Free.

This was working.

The desire he felt for her was just that: desire. It wasn’t the overwhelming lust or the desperate need for her any longer, just the low simmering love he’d felt before all of this started, ready to ignite with a touch or a kiss.

He turned, meeting her eyes as she joined him, staying by the doorway. Her color looked better already, though she had a glassy look still in her eyes. “Better?” he asked.

“Seems, for the mo’ at least.” She took a slow, deep breath in and out. “Headache isn’t too bad,” she grabbed the mug from the counter and took a slow sip, “It’s bearable. You?”

He didn’t want to flaunt his newfound revelations, not when she seemed to be still struggling. “Feeling ok so far.” He shrugged, wanting to reach out. Their directive to not touch made things awkward and stilted.

“I think I’ll take a lie in, just for a bit.” Peggy clutched her mug.

“Yeah,” he waved his hand, nodding over and over again, feeling silly and stupid and suddenly like he was 98 pounds all over again. “Yeah, just… just call if you need me.”

Her lips stayed pressed together when she smiled. Her nod was just as awkward as his, eyes retreating to her tea as she turned.

~*~

He sat on the couch, sketching her through the door to the bedroom. She’d left it open a crack, and he’d quietly widened it when he went to check on her. From his spot curled into the side of the sofa he had a perfect view of her face, overtaken by sleep, her curls falling and lips parted just slightly.

He hoped the vomiting and the headache and the fatigue meant it was working. It was hard not to feel trapped and used, he thought, as he added shading to her cheek. Despite the positive, the time and the touches, and the very clear understanding that they were in love, it felt wrong and broken to be forced together like this.

He wanted them to be living happily in a little apartment or small house in the suburbs because the war was over and they wanted to be there, not because they had to be together even if they did love one another.

The difference was small, but it mattered.

He wished he had a set of pastels to flush out the pink in her cheeks and the red of her nails, some blues and yellows to try to capture the way the sunlight tried to peek through the drawn curtains.

Steve had gotten used to the magnetic pull of her, the need to be around her, to touch her. Yesterday, he wouldn’t have thought twice about shedding his clothes and slipping into bed with her, pressing up against her and holding her close. Now, though the idea appealed to him, he was content to rest on the couch, eyes keeping watch. He hadn’t realized how strong the pull to touch her was from his end until it left him today.

He started to feel his eyelids droop as he smudged the pencil line of the blanket around her shoulder. He wasn’t normally one to nap, but it would help pass the time. Going for the entire day without touching her seemed like a monumental task. He slipped his pencil into his notebook and let it fall on his chest as he stretched out.

A quick catnap would help the day pass faster.

~*~

Peggy rolled, the blankets tangling around her. She took a deep breath, wiggling her fingers and toes and taking stock on how she felt. The nausea was gone, and though she’d slept for what she thought must have been a few hours she didn’t feel refreshed.

She turned, blinking her eyes open. Through the crack in the door she could see Steve, sprawled on the couch that was far too small, head thrown back and mouth wide open, his sketchbook perilously close to falling from his slack fingers on his chest.

She couldn’t help but smile. He seemed so soft, so innocent, so much like that small man she’d first met, even if the sheer size of him made the couch seem more like a piece of child’s furniture. Peggy slipped from the bed, wrapping her robe around herself as she made her way out into the living room. She snuck quietly across the floor, feeling the need to run her fingers through his hair, to be near him.

She wanted to believe it was working, but so far she’d only felt the ill effects that Howard had talked about. They’d have to stay away from one another for hours to see if it truly worked, and based on the pull she felt she wondered if they were even capable of that if they were this close to one another.

She did some quick math, glancing at the clock across the room and decided that it must be doing something. She should have felt something by now. The only thing she felt was the need to be around him, no tingling or discomfort at all.

Peggy stopped at the edge of the couch, one hand holding her robe together, the other gently playing over his hair, touching only enough to feel the softness against her fingertips, not enough to graze his scalp and tempt fate.

She felt a need to wrap herself in him. Not the all-consuming need that had been based in need and pain and sex, but a different kind of feeling that felt like it was spreading from deep in her, to wrap him up and be wrapped in him and stay in this small little apartment until they couldn’t avoid the outside world any longer.

He shifted under her, taking a deep breath and reaching out. She scooted her hips away, avoiding his reach but kept her hand on his head. He groaned unhappily, and she made soothing, shushing noise ass he raked her finger nails through his hair. “We’re already doing a horrible job of not touching, my darling. Let’s not tempt fate.”

He didn’t open his eyes, but he turned, pressing his head into her touch. She reached out, saving the notebook from crashing to the floor. She set it on the coffee table in front of him and smiled, the pencil rolling out and flipping the book open to the picture of her. She kissed his hair, eyes closed softly, warmth radiating through her.

The little apartment felt warm, home, and enough for now. She wasn’t in pain, wasn’t hurting, and she had Steve. It was enough, could be enough, for now at least. She slipped into the kitchen, trying to keep things as quiet as she could while she made herself another cup of tea. Would he still sketch when there were chores to be done? Would they still be so gentle with one another when the stresses of daily life were different? Would he stay with the SSR? Would they let her keep being a spy or cast her off, saying women weren’t necessary when there wasn’t a war on? There were so many unknowns, but she still somehow felt warm, solid, and happy.

Whatever Howard’s hormones were doing to her, she didn’t much mind; it was the calmest she’d felt in weeks.  

~*~

She was still sitting in the kitchen, the dregs of her tea cold in her hands, when Steve lumbered in, eyes glazed over. She watched as he pulled a glass from the cabinet and filled it from the tap, chugging the contents down before refilling it over and over again. He drank with a singlemindedness that put her on edge. It was only after he’d drank what she thought was nearly a gallon that he stopped, hands on the edge of the counter, panting to catch his breath.

“Thirsty?” Peggy asked quietly, unsure if he’d even registered she was in the room.

He took a slow, deep breath and hung his head. “Yeah I—” He took another and turned, wiping the drips of water from his lips. “I woke up and I just felt like I hadn’t had anything to drink in days.” His eyes caught the afternoon sun out the window. “How long was I asleep?”

She smiled, standing and walking her mug to the sink. “We both lost a few hours there, I think. It’s almost 4.” She turned, brushing his hair from his eyes, looking him over. “Are you alright otherwise?”

He nodded quickly, almost too quickly for her liking. “Yeah, I’m… I’m just… didn’t think I’d sleep that long. I’m a little out of it.”

She let her lips kiss his shoulder, careful to keep her skin away from his. “We can continue to blame stress and Hydra. I’ll have it no other way.”

He set his hands on her hips, as careful as she was. “How about you? Still feeling alright?”

She nodded, a smile on her lips. “Stomach’s still a touch unhappy, but I think that’s more from not eating since early this morning. Otherwise, I’m…” she shrugged her shoulders, still cautious about expressing her happiness, “zero.” She couldn’t help the way the smile bloomed on her face. “We haven’t touched enough for me to not feel something by now. I don’t want to go too far, but I’m…optimistic.”

“Good, good.” He smiled tightly, his eyes struggling with something he didn’t want to share. His hands were awkward at her hips, like he had to remind himself to be gentle with her, and his shoulders were stiff. She narrowed her eyes at him, waiting. They knew each other well enough that she didn’t have to say anything for him to know he’d been caught. He shook his head, resigned and stepping away. “I think whatever side effects I’m going to get are hitting me now. I just feel… weird. A little… I don’t know. I can’t explain it.”

“What can I do?” She asked, stepping back and giving him some more space as he leaned back against the counter.

He looked out the window, crossing his arms and shaking his head. After a long, quiet moment he licked his lips and turned back to her. “Let me make dinner… well, early dinner. Maybe it’ll help me focus.”

Peggy didn’t like the way he looked: a little sallow, eyes a little hollow, the way he looked after he’d been hurt in a firefight and he was trying to be brave for everyone else. She backed away, giving him the room. “I’ll be reading, just call if you need help.”

His smile was genuine, even if it didn’t reach his eyes. “I think I can handle some chicken and dehydrated mashed potatoes.”

Peggy licked her lips, eyes still dead set on him. She thought about joking, about trying to break the tension, but she couldn’t shake the feeling something hadn’t gone quite right with his dose. “I can call Howard, he could be here in fifteen minutes he said if anything went wrong.”

This time, the smile did make it to his eyes. “I’m fine, Peg. I promise.” He crossed to her, taking her head in his hand and dropping a kiss on her forehead. “And I’ll tell you if I’m not, ok?”

It was the sincerity in his eyes that finally gave her some sense of footing. “Alright.” She stepped back, removing the temptation to give in to more touching. “Don’t burn my potatoes.”

~*~

Peggy’s stomach was growling loud enough for Steve to hear by the time he announced dinner was ready. She tried to make a joke of it, but it fell flat as he set a full plate in front of her.

They ate silently, Steve quietly watching Peggy as she filled her mouth, struggling to keep her lips closed and be ladylike as she chewed. “I’m starved,” she tried to justify with a little laugh between bites, feeling his eyes on her. He ate sparingly, his eyes darting to her each time she took a bite. “Must be the…” she stopped, putting another spoonful in her mouth, watching as Steve only nodded, agreeing to say it was ‘just another side effect.’ She scraped the end of the mashed potatoes from her plate, wrapping her tongue around the spoon, eyes widening in confusion when Steve switched out his mostly full plate for her empty one. “Darling?”

He kept his face carefully blank. “Aren’t you hungry?”

She tipped her head, looking at him cautiously. She was very aware of how much Steve’s increased metabolism needed food, and knew very well how much he could eat. “Aren’t you? You’ve barely eaten.”

“You need it more.”

She smiled, trying to break the tense look in his eyes. “I was just hungry. I’m fine now. And there’s plenty more if—”

He dropped his fork on the empty plate in front of him, standing and pacing away. The air in the room was suddenly thick and it reminded her off too many debriefs where they’d lost and he felt responsible. The deja-vu nearly choked her it hit her so hard, but it helped her re-center and take charge of the situation.

She squared her shoulders, staring at his back. “Tell me.”

“I have to take care of you,” he bit out, grabbing the top of the kitchen doorframe and leaning into it.

With his arms up his shirt tightened around him and she could see just how tense he was, his muscles corded and ready for a fight. She stood slowly, cautiously closing this distance between them. “You are, Steve.” Her voice was soft but sure, and she left no room for arguments. “I’ve never been safer than I am at this very moment.”

He turned so fast she barely registered he’d moved before she was in his arms, his forehead pressed against her tight. It wasn’t concern, but pain on his face: his eyes shut tight, jaw working to try to find the words. “You’re not,” he finally whispered. “Everything in me is screaming that I’m not keeping you safe and…” he dropped his head, gathering her closer and burying his face in her neck. He took a deep breath in like he was breathing her into himself, trying to take her in and surround her. “I need to do better,” he muttered, “I have to do better.”

Peggy was stunned, and could do nothing but wrap her arms around him and hold him tight as he held her.

This was not a side effect Howard had prepared them for.

She cradled his face in her hands, gently pushing him back so she could see his eyes. “I am safe, Steve. I am here, with you, and I am perfectly safe.” She let her hand wipe at the sweat that started to show at his brow, over his jaw and down to his neck where she could feel his racing pulse finally starting to slow. She kissed him gently, pulling away before he could react to her lips. “I am fine. What do I need to do to help you see that?”

His eye squinted shut again as he shook his head. “Don’t know,” he mumbled, making her want to hold him close until whatever this was passed. She’d never seen him like this and it scared her.

She kissed him again, and this time, she could feel his pulse start to slow more the longer they touched.

Even if this was working for her, it seemed to be only hurting him.

Peggy pulled her lips away, pressing her cheek to his and running her hand up and down his back until his pulse quieted under her fingers. When he was significantly calmer, she finally broke the silence. “We need to call Howard.”

It was like he’d never been calm, the way his pulse jumped under her fingers and how his hands grasped tightly at her waist, holding her possessively to him. “No.”

She leaned back, eyes stern. “Steve…”

He shook his head, turning away from her to try to hide whatever it was he was feeling. “We have to go back tomorrow, anyway. Just…” He sighed, turning back to her, his eyes sad and begging. “Not yet, ok?”

If he’d said anything else, she would have fought him, but the words echoed her own past pleading to avoid doctors so closely that she found she couldn’t deny him. He’d always followed her lead, and she found she could do no less. She swallowed hard, and nodded. “But you have to eat something,” she heard herself say, unsure of where it came from or why it was suddenly so important to her.

At his nod she pulled him to the table, sitting him back down in his chair and then scooting his full plate back in front of him. He looked at it, then looked back up at her, and she could only shake her head at him.

She should have been angry, but instead she felt like she was soothing some large, wounded animal laying at her feet, unsure of how to take care of himself now that his fight was over. She perched herself on his lap, reaching over and taking the fork to feed him.

Steve’s hand stopped her own, eyes bewildered at his own actions. “Are you… are you sure you ate enough? You’re not hungry?”

She let her free hand fall over his cheek, resting at his shoulder. “That’s how you’re taking care of me?” He opened his mouth to answer, but he huffed air from his nose as he shrugged and shook his head. He didn’t know, and she didn’t, either. “Alright, then.”

Peggy, nowhere near hungry but understanding baser instincts when she saw them, took a small bite off the end of the piece of chicken on the fork. She held the rest out to him as she chewed, their eyes locked as he pulled the piece from the fork with his teeth and ate it.

It almost made her feel better that Steve seemed as baffled by his behavior as she was, that his eyes were lost and frustrated as he seemed to need to wait until she ate before he could, though as they neared the end of the plate, he took the fork from her and fed himself, his grasp somewhat looser as he held her in his lap.

“First thing tomorrow, no delaying,” she demanded softly as he pushed the plate away. He nodded and she moved from his lap, busying herself and her mind with the dishes. She tried to avoid the racing questions, the wild what-ifs that started to run through her mind as she cleaned the pans and plates, Steve still sitting quietly behind her.

She couldn’t help but smile when she felt him behind her as she stood at the sink, rinsing the last plate. It felt more like the way things had been for him to step up behind her with her hands filled with soap suds. He pressed tight against her, chest to back, and let his hands wrap around her, holding her low on her belly. His nose nuzzled against her nape as she set the last plate to dry, leaning back into him. She heard him take a deep breath in, the air tickled over her skin and made her shiver.

Peggy reached one arm up behind her, letting her fingers tangle in his hair, holding his lips against her flesh as he began to kiss and nip. It was different from how he’d held her at the sink the other day: it was more insistent, more possessive. She tried to avoid the dark thoughts that wanted to seep into her mind as he touched her. He needed her touch right now, and that’s all she cared about.

She couldn’t help but wonder if this was how he felt every time she’d come to him, worked up and needing something only he could give.

Steve growled, low in his throat. It was deep and dark and domineering and something about it excited her. They were supposed to be avoiding touching, but she had barely touched him all day and she felt starved for him.

He felt wound up behind her, the power in his body held back and ready to burst. She wondered if it was the hormones or just the feeling of finally deciding to allow herself to touch him after all the hours of trying to stay apart. Either way, it had been hours since they’d touched before dinner and she felt no pain, no tingling, no discomfort but she yearned for him like she couldn’t explain.

He spun her in his arms, lifting her on to the counter and taking her lips. She kissed him back, happy to let him take the lead, his eyes dark with lust.

~*~

He held her possessively as he slept, in a way Peggy couldn’t ever remember Steve holding her before. On one hand, she felt safe and protected, but on the other, this new, darker side to him was concerning. It was the only reason she’d relented, the only reason she’d allowed him to touch her.

She’d only seen it when she couldn’t process it: when she’d been in so much pain and his skin was the only thing that would bring her relief. She could almost remember the look on his face in the hospital, and again when he crashed through the wall, but tonight she could see his eyes, feel the energy burning through him and she knew, she knew deep down, something about what Howard had done had caused this switch in him.

Touching him helped, just like it had helped her, but he said he didn’t feel pain. He couldn’t describe it to her beyond the idea of keeping her safe. She didn’t know what that meant to him, didn’t know why it tapped into his need to see her eat, then to see her safely to the bedroom, to hold her until he needed to touch and kiss her again, then to hold her until he fell asleep.

She wasn’t sure if the touching was helping all that much, but at least he was asleep.

The knot of anxiety in her stomach started to rise, acid burning and that sickly wave feeling ran through her as she broke out in a sweat. She tried to push away from him but his arms twined around her tighter.

“Mine,” he mumbled in his sleep.

“Steve, let go,” she pushed against him while attempting to slow the rising nausea within her, but trying to move his arms was like trying to dislodge metal clamps. “Please, I have to—”

She knew he wasn’t fully awake, she’d encountered this sleepy, half cognizant Steve before. Usually, he was soft and gentle and smiled at her. This one grumbled and repeated his possession of her, holding tight.

Finally, Peggy could take it no more. She kicked him between the legs, hard, and scrambled to the edge of the bed when he loosened his grip. She didn’t make it to the bathroom, but managed to vomit on the floor, avoiding ruining the bed.

By the time she turned back he was wide awake, pressed up on his elbow, eyes clearer than she’d seen them in hours. She wiped at her lips with the back of her hand, kicking her way out of the blankets and climbing out of the bed from the bottom, avoiding looking at him.

“Peggy…” He sat, still confused, “what…”

She nearly ran from the room, making it to the bathroom just in the nick of time. When there was nothing left to come back up, she flushed the toilet and rinsed her mouth before heading back to the bedroom.

The lights were on and Steve was drying the floor where he’d cleaned up her mess. He stopped and stood when she leaned on the doorjamb, spent. “Peggy, I’m so sorry.” He looked down at the towel in his hand and then tossed it over by the laundry bag before looking up to her, his blue eyes full of confusion and sadness. “I’ll call Howard right now.”

She nodded, hands still shaking a bit from vomiting. “I’m going to make a cup—”

“I’ve got it,” he said quickly, moving to her and pressing a kiss to her hair before lifting her from her feet and setting her on the bed. “Lay down, I’ll bring it in after I’ve called Howard.”

She watched him go, tears pricking at the back of her eyes. She wanted to argue, but he seemed clearer, more like himself, and she was afraid to open up whatever Pandora’s Box was behind his need to take care of her, at least until Howard got there.

Peggy slipped back into bed, building the pillows up behind her. She might be better, but that meant nothing if Steve was worse.

#Steggy Fic #Steggybingobash #3P's Fic #Now Featuring 100% more Feral!Steve

[gguktarts]

decathect | jjk (2)

1. to withdraw one’s feelings of attachment from (a person, idea, or object), as in anticipation of a future loss

summary: if one thing was clear to you when you first met Jeon Jungkook, it was that he would never love you. at least, not the way you wanted him to.

pairing: jjk x reader genre: unrequited love au || angst || little fluff if u Squint || drabble series word count: 2.2k parts:  « previous | 2 / ? | next » cw: kinda unhealthy depictions of a crush, & jk is a fuckboy w lots of tatts and long hair. note: well,, i don’t like this one bUT here yall go!!! breaky breaky eggs and heart bakey ey :’)

Being late to class was the first of the signs, you should have known. It didn’t impact your grade in any way, but the reason behind it certainly stirred about some changes.

While Jungkook still remains a part of some of your days, lately it’s a less common occurrence. You figure maybe it’s his doing, that your face must have given you away that day, that he must have figured something out and that whatever he knows doesn’t sit well with him, but deep down you know it’s your fault.

It’s not that he’s avoiding you, but that you’re avoiding him–as well as the images that still haunt your memory. So, whenever you see him in the halls you turn and walk away just a tiny bit faster, and when you guys speak, you only voice out what’s necessary. It’s gotten to the point where you worry over him thinking you’re mad at him, when in fact you are not. You’re not upset that he kissed someone, how could you be? Jungkook is more of a stranger than he is a friend to you, and he owes you nothing. And it doesn’t matter that the constant reminder makes your heart drop all the way to your feet, nor that despite everything your stomach still battles the fluttering butterflies his smile cultivates and nurses. It’s actually that last part that annoys you out of all, the one that triggered your flight response.

Even now, sharing your favorite takeout at Tae’s, it’s clear you’re more closed off with him than usual – even when the subject is as ridiculous as VHS porn. Actual, physical VHS porn, all property of Taehyung. He apparently went on a shopping spree early in the morning, which explains the two thick tapes inches from his plate. They’re keeping the lot of you some extra company.

“I just can’t believe you bought more, honestly. And with real money,” you mutter in disbelief, amusement painting your tone. The fact that Tae not only owns (and buys) them but also keeps them in pristine condition is not something you understand. He doesn’t even have a VHS player. "You know the internet exists, right, babe? And with better quality.”

A look at the colorful cases makes you visibly cringe. There’s far too many freed titties and schoolgirl skirts for your liking. “They’re probably as bad as the old ones aren’t they…”

Tae’s eyes widen with a hint of betrayal; his chopsticks pointing at you in accusation. “They’re HISTORIC, ok? Like beanie babies... And they only cost 3 dollars each—”

"How would you know if hyung’s tapes are bad or not?” Jungkook’s voice interrupts, doing nothing but throwing you under the bus with the teasing question.

You blink, for a hot second forgetting you haven’t told Taehyung about that specific day a few months back. He was gone all day doing who knows what, while Namjoon and yourself, under the tight reign of curiosity and the profound liberty of a free evening, went over the most ridiculous titles he owns. It’s the sudden look of suspicion he gives you what brings back the fact to surface. Right. You’re the one with the VHS player. He knows that. 

From your peripheral Jungkook’s inquisitive gaze pierces your skin, distracting you from the way Namjoon’s posture straightens with the reminder. He hasn’t said a single word to stop you, though, so you take that as a sign.

“Joon and I watched them,” you confess quickly, slurping on some stir-fry noodles with a small, apologetic smile playing on your lips. “And I’m sorry for not telling you earlier, but Tae, they’re terrible. Except maybe… Eaten by the Big Bad Wolf, I guess.”

The name makes Jungkook break out in giggles, a sound so cute you have to press your lips together just to not grin along with him. Whining, Taehyung swats the younger’s arm before whipping his head to look between Joon and you, more pouty than angry.

“First of,” he begins, “Eaten by 2BW IS good. You guys are just uncultured about the rest. But more importantly, you two? Both?” 

None of you deny it. Joon simply grins apologetically and shrugs, far too busy gulping down his meat to do more than that— he knows Tae won’t do anything to him, he’s too valuable a roommate. Instead, you hear Jungkook voice out a tiny surprised “huh” before any words leave him. 

“I didn’t take you for the type to watch porn, Y/N.”

You still mid bite, eyebrow raised as you’re forced to glance his way. “Because I’m a girl?”

“No, it’s just… you don’t strike me as a sexual one, I guess?”

“Oh.”

He doesn’t say it to hurt you, you know that. It’s not like his phrasing should hurt you either, but somehow, it still does. It’s easy for you to skip past all you should be thankful for—that he doesn’t sexualize you, that he doesn’t consider you an option for the fuck-and-go experiences he tends to have, and that maybe, just maybe, therefore you’re not seen as disposable. All of those, while in ways reassuring, are drowned out by a single underlying fact: in a world where Jungkook knows not love but lust, where his touch is reserved for only the bright who catch his eye, you’re but a white dwarf to his starry gaze, all but faded and extinguished. Nearly a dead star, you’re empty of whatever he searches for, of whatever he wants, and so what little he gives you are never meant to get.

The thought rings around your eardrums enough seconds for your smile to drop and your teeth to clench, but you’re quick to put on a mask of vague confusion and annoyance. Even your tone comes out dry.

“Jee, thanks? I’m flattered I can contain my hormones in check.”

“It’s because you’re never here when she’s ovulating–she gets hornly as hell,” Tae counters just when the youngest opens his mouth, eyes on him before they settle on you. His gaze goes soft, as if asking if you’re okay in between the jabs, speaking the words he isn’t. But you’re too busy almost choking, heat spreading from your ears and along your cheeks, to notice it. The thought that he spoke to shut Jungkook up not crossing your mind. “I don’t really understand why you never do anything about it, love. Could literally be getting love-fucked right about now.”

“Taehyung, what the fuck?” you squeak, embarrassment threatening to consume you, but thankful nonetheless it’s a type of distraction. You don’t see Jungkook blink in confusion, nor his repeated whisper of Tae’s new word. You focus on the way Namjoon pinches Tae’s arm. It earns him a glare and a yelp.

“Leave her alone, man,” Joon chides, making you smile again without entirely understanding the look they briefly share. 

“What? She knows I love her,” Tae says, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. He’s always quick to butter you up with it. “You do know that, don’t you?”

“Yes. But if we could just shift the topic to something besides my non-existent love life I’d love that even more." 

"What?” Joon opens his mouth after a blink, suddenly intrigued because as far as he’s concerned, you were practically dating last you spoke to him about that. Only, you weren’t–aren’t, and even if he is on your side in this conversation, he’s too big of an information hoarder (read: gossip) to let it go from the get go. “But I thought the date with Jaebum went okay?”

You give him a look. “Date? We were studying for our midterms, like I told you.”

“Oh, I thought– but he looks so interested in you…”

Taehyung nods along, “Yea, whenever he sees me he asks about you.”

“Wait, are we talking about Jackson-hyung’s friend?” Jungkook asks, tone mildly curious. You drown the words out, but his voice still makes your throat close up for a few seconds longer.

“Yup,” Namjoon confirms, “You know him?" 

"Never actually talked to him, but Yugyeom hangs with him from time to time. Seems nice enough,” Jungkook shrugs, turning to you with a soft, encouraging smile. “I don’t know if he likes you but if you’re interested I could ask–”

“I’m not,” you snap, jaw clenching. Your fingers stiffly hold onto the chopsticks, a flimsy attempt at ignoring the way your bones hold your heart before it slips and falls. And it does fall, because you can already feel the sickening feeling pooling and spreading from your stomach and along your limbs. You notice it so quickly that you remind yourself, like a mantra, that this is ridiculous, that you shouldn’t even be feeling this way. Yes, he doesn’t like you. You knew that already, Y/N. Going from point A to point B, it’s logical he doesn’t care if you date anyone, that he encourages it as long as you’re into it. But you don’t want his kindness.

Hurt flashes over Jungkook’s gaze as you stare him down, but it’s gone so quickly you’re unsure if it was there in the first place. Still, the thought you might have caused it doesn’t sit well with you. It quickly forms a lump in your throat, making you swallow before softening your features.

“I’m– I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to sound like an ass,” your voice comes out a whisper, and you turn back to your plate. Jungkook’s own “it’s okay,” is too soft your ears. You know you have to behave normally, quickly. So you press your lips together and offer them a dramatic sigh to at least begin to sound believable. 

“I’d just rather none of you did anything. I already know he likes me, he’s asked me out before,” you confess, voice somehow unwavering. It gives the push you need to put on a mask of indifference as you look head on, not at Jungkook but at Joon. He looks surprised, but remains quiet. “And no, I didn’t accept. He is nice, but I–I don’t like anyone like that at the moment.”

It takes effort to finish the lie, to hide the sting in front of them–in front of him– but you have more than one tell. And Taehyung knows each and every one very well. The soft rebuke, the intensified interest in your noodles as the lie flowed through your lips. Tae knows you, sometimes better than you know yourself, and he knows he has to do what he does best: he shifts the tone. 

“That’s okay. You’re too good for him anyways. But none of that matters because I just remembered something I find absurdly unforgivable,” Taehyung says, face going completely serious. His eyes are fixed on you with such intensity you wonder if he’s about to tell you the secrets of the universe, or his mom’s secret strawberry cheesecake recipe, which seems less likely. Instead he lets out the shrillest whine, “you did not tell me you love me back. Now explain to me, how am I supposed to continue on? What will inspire me now, huh?”

And just like that, the tense air begins to clear out.

“Eh, you’ll live,” you joke, physically unable to push back the tiny smile lighting up your face at his antics.

“Not like you’ve painted anything in ages, anyway,” Namjoon adds, teasing. 

“Well, if I had any of my own paint,” Tae mutters, giving Jungkook a pointed look, “maybe I’d find some inspiration.”

Jungkook scoffed, “I have two tubes total, not your entirely collection, hyung.”

“Yes, but you have my favorite ones! Amethyst Shards and Indigo Fields are so hard to find, too…”

“I’m almost done with them anyways, just pass by tomorrow and pick them up,” Jungkook snickers, eyes crinkling at the other’s pout.

“Fine, but show me what you’re working on.”

Taking the moment to drift away, you grab the already empty plates and take them to the kitchen. It’s Namjoon’s turn to wash the dishes so you leave them be, and return to both of your boys huddled around Jungkook’s extended hand, phone on display. 

You don’t know what you expected to see, but it’s definitely not the portrait of the girl he was kissing the other day. She’s laying on her side, naked on a bed of violets, and you can’t deny she’s beautiful. Your heart sinks further than before as you take in the level of detail he poured into his work, into her. The way her hair falls over her arms and tangles with the leafs underneath, the way a form of innocence is reflected on her eyes. They’re elements you see only because he sees them. Did she change his mind about relationships? Does he like her, just the way you like him? You don’t know– you don’t know anything at all. 

You feel like puking your insides out. And you’re aware you’re at the end of the rope for the day, that the thin line is about to break, and that you can’t hold back the water pooling behind your eyes for much longer. So like usual, you try to flee.

At the very least you compliment his work, genuinely amazed by his ability, but that’s the last you can do before the masks starts to crack. You don’t register his grateful smile, nor anything after that, really. You just give Tae an offhand excuse you don’t really process, and without waiting for any sort of response you scurry out of the room, vision blurry.

By the time you’re inside safer walls, tears have already stained your cheeks.

#jungkook fanfic #jungkook angst #jungkook fluff #jungkook x reader #bts fanfic #bts imagine #jungkook x y/n #bts jungkook #jungkook #bts fic #drabble series: dct

[loveisblindfanfictionbka]

Love Is Blind: Chapter Three

Marcus smirked as he watched Chris mess with the straw in his drink, “Man, whoever she is has got you messed up bad.”

Chris jerked his head up and frowned in confusion, “huh?”

“You have completely zoned out on me, Bro. What’s going on?”

“Just thinking.”

“So your divorce? What happened?”

“I wasn’t any good for her. It just wasn’t gonna work out.”

“How’d she take it?”

“Not good. I’m surprised she hasn’t put a hit out on me.”

Marcus chuckled, “that woman loves you too much.”

“Loved.”

“Loves. I said what I said.”

“Do you know something I don’t?”

“Do you know she hasn’t dated since your divorce?”

“No. I never bothered to keep up with her.”

“Really?”

“I don’t have the right to. Why keep up with her life if I didn’t have the decency to stay in it?”

“You got a point.”

“So who is the new girl?”

“There is no new girl. Just somebody I’m getting to know.”

“So there is a new girl.”

“No.”

“Chris, we can play with semantics all night but be honest, do you like her?”

“Yes but we’re just friends.”

“For now.”

“She’s still in love with her ex-husband. I’m not in control of my life and neither of us are looking for anything serious.”

“Then what’s the harm in making her your new girl. You both know whats the deal up front.”

“Besides she doesn't want to meet me anyway.”

“You’ve never met?”

“I met her online. I only have a vague idea of what she looks like but we’ve never actually seen each other or spoke to each other.”

“Really? I didn’t know you were into that.”

“I set it up out of boredom but I got lucky with talking to her. She’s really nice.”

“What she do?”

“She’s a Vet. Owns her own clinic and shelter”

“Nice. Is she local?”

“Not sure. I know her business is in the city. Never asked if she lived there or not.”

“Chris, you might know her already.”

“I doubt it besides I think the not knowing her is the best part.”

“No identity, no expectations.”

“Exactly.”

“Well more power to you. Hope you don’t miss out on an amazing woman wanting to be all mysterious and shit.”

“I’m not concerned.”

A: How has your day been?

C: Hectic. My daughter caught the flu so I’m out of commission for the next few days

A: Aww...poor baby. Is this the first time she’s been sick?

C: No so I’m pretty prepared for the theatrics that will be coming my way

A: She’s that kind of kid, huh? Lol

C: Lol regardless of the fact that she’s three, she gets sick and reverts to an infant but I love babying her. Just don’t tell her that

A: Lol, your secret is safe with me

C: How have you been?

A: Good. Finalizing details for this gala a certain someone got me to attend

C: Lol, you made the deal, I just accepted

A: Yea. Whatever.

C: Did you decide on a date for our virtual outing?

A: I mean you have the child

C: It’s not like I’m gonna be leaving my house though

A: That is true

C: Are you nervous?

A: No, it’s not like you’re gonna hear my voice or see me. What’s there to be nervous about?

C: I don’t know I’m asking you

A: Are you free this weekend?

C: 8 pm Saturday?

A: Works for me

C: Cool

A: You know you could’ve just picked a time and told me

C: Yea but it was your idea so your choice

A: Hmm...I guess

C: What you thinking about?

A: If I should send you a sneak peek of my dress

C: You have it already? I thought the gala wasn’t for another month

A: A month goes by fast especially if you own your own business, time is not of the essence

C: Ah, very true. Are we still doing text to speech or?

A: I have some equipment I can use for voice changes. You?

C: I work at a college, I’m sure I can find some

A: Cool

C: Is your voice that distinctive that I’d be able to figure out who you are from hearing it?

A: Yes.

C: Ah, now I’m curious

A: It’s not that I’m worried about knowing you but I’ve been interviewed and stuff before so hearing my voice would definitely be a dead giveaway and ruin the mystery

C: I understand. 

A: Does any of this make you uncomfortable?

C: No. It keeps things simple and uncomplicated. No complaints from me

A: Cool

                                               ~~~~~~~~~~~~

Robyn quickly composed herself as she posed for the picture in front of her phone. The self-timer clicked and she grabbed the device to see her handy work. She smiled at the successful shot. No identifying marks but it captured her body and clothing perfectly. She sat down and logged into her dating app to send the picture to Chris. Not wanting to be consumed with nervousness, she logged out completely before taking off her clothes and heading to take a shower. Their double blind virtual outing was tonight.

Chris smiled as his phone pinged and he clicked on the new message. The long-sleeve navy blue dress hugged every curve of Anna perfectly. She was completely covered but it still felt just as sexy as if she was naked. That was an art. The message read, “I probably could’ve waited a few weeks to send you this but I figured what the hell. What do you think?”

Chris rubbed his hand along his chin then through his hair as he stared at the picture. Was he making a mistake letting this stay just an online thing? Could she really be as amazing as she seemed? Maybe it was just the lust talking. He had sworn off women the past few years so it wasn’t like he had many outlets for any kind of attraction. Anesa was with his sister and cousins for the night while he had his virtual outing with Anna. He really didn’t understand why she just didn’t call it a date but then again they aren’t supposed to be dating so it makes sense.

Robyn shook off any nervousness as she sat down in front of her computer. It was easier to not be tempted to use the camera if she didn’t have one so she decided to use her desktop instead of her laptop. The older monitor was wired for sound but not video. She had emailed Chris a link to the video chat site with its autoset to start at 8pm. She glanced at the cover of the screen and sighed as the clock flipped from 7:59 to 8:00.

“Hi Anna,” an auto generated voice came through her speakers

“Chris, it’s nice to hear your voice.”

Chris laughed, “well something like my voice. How are you?”

“I’m great. You?”

“I’m good. Thank you for the picture.”

“Eh, I was trying it on and thought why not. You never answered my message”

“Well, I knew I was gonna talk to you soon so I figured it’d be easier to say what I was thinking than writing it”

“Ah, so what do you think?”

“I think you look incredible. It’s hard to be sexy and completely covered from neck to toe but you definitely pulled it off.”

“Why thank you. My friend was a little upset that I picked that dress.”

“Why?”

“She thinks I need to show more skin.”

Chris laughed, “well you’re single, no harm in doing that.”

“Single and not trying to mingle though.”

“If you look as amazing in the face as your body does. Nothing short of staying home would keep people, men especially, from trying to talk to you.”

“Oh don’t say that.”

“Why? It’s the truth.”

“Still don’t say it.”

“You’re afraid of dating?”

“No, just not prepared for it. I don’t really want to like anybody else.”

“Not even me.”

“You are a very pleasant and partially unwanted surprise. I don’t think I could not not like you though.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment”

“Good because I meant it as one,” Robyn laughed, “Feel weird yet?”

“Nope. This is a lot easier than typing though.”

“It is. 

“So how was your day?”

“It was good. I had the start of auditions for my upper level songwriting and music composition classes.”

“Really? How do those work?”

“The student either performs live or brings in a recorded piece that they wrote and/or composed.”

“Do they have to be the performer?”

“It is preferable but no. I get my share of duos from time to time.”

“Is it easier to audition as a duo or solo?”

“To me, neither. I try to be equally as hard on all my students.”

“Did you work in the music industry before?”

“Actually no, just a dream deferred, I guess.”

“What about your divorce made you switch careers?”

“Music has always been healing for me. I had no desire to be famous or anything like that but I wanted to deal with music. Teaching did that for me.”

“Were you healing from your marriage?”

“No. My mother had passed away and it just threw my life into a spiral.”

“Were you close?”

“Not like we should’ve been. I was raised by another family member and my mom wasn’t really around most of my life.”

“That’s sad.”

“It’s life. You learn to make the best of it.”

“It doesn’t sound like you did.”

“To be honest, I didn’t at first. I was mad at everything and everybody. I just gave up.”

“And your marriage was a casualty of that.”

“Yup.”

“And you still love her?”

“I don’t want to but I do.”

“I know that feeling. So you were adopted by the family member or they just took you in?”

“Just took me in, nothing official.”

“Oh ok.”

“You have a good relationship with your family?”

“Yea, I think we still sit on different sides of the fence when it comes to my ex but other than that nothing major.”

“Why?”

“They loved him. He was my high school sweetheart so we kind of grew up together.”

“Same here. Do they want you guys to get back together?”

“Absolutely.”

Chris laughed.

“Sometimes I wonder if there were things he told them that he couldn’t tell me.”

“It’s possible. It's easier to open up to somebody you don’t feel responsible for. Men worry a lot about looking weak in front of their spouses. We wonder if women will still trust our judgment if they think we’re more emotional than logical.”

“Any woman worth her medal knows men are more emotional than logical, y’all just like to play with semantics. Just because you don’t deal with your emotions doesn’t mean they don’t exist or magically go away. Y’all just have different methodologies than we do.”

“Were you a therapist in a past life?”

Robyn laughed, “No, I took basic psychology classes in college.”

“Definitely sounds like you took more than the requisite elective.”

“I did. Almost had enough for a minor but I overloaded on vet classes to try to finish my bachelor’s early.”

“Did you?”

“Just a semester early, nothing too major.”

“That’s awesome. Were you always a vet?”

“Actually no. I took a few years off after veterinary school, did a bunch of odd jobs before I came back to my chosen profession.”

“Ah, good deal.”

“It had its perks.”

“How’d your husband feel about that?”

“We weren’t married initially but he didn’t seem to mind even after we did get married. He had a bit of an old school rearing and liked being a provider, I can admit.”

“And all that time you never had children?”

“I don’t think he could’ve emotionally handled children but then again, we might have fought for our marriage more if there were some involved.”

“You think so?”

“We both grew up in separated families, raised by a single parent or guardian. Two parent households weren’t the norm for either of us.”

“Ah ok.”

“We had always maintained the idea of having children once we got married but then we got married and things just didn’t work out. I wanted to try immediately after the ceremony but he kept stalling. First, it was getting his career off the ground then the timing just wasn’t right and by then we were divorced. I don’t think he wanted children with me.”

“You know being a parent isn’t something to take lightly, from what it sounds like it wasn’t you, he just wasn’t ready. At least, he was self aware to know that.”

“And your wife?”

“After the first year, we barely had sex.”

“Were you not attracted to her anymore?”

“I was. I just didn’t really like myself anymore and it made it hard to be physical with her. We had years of having sex and making love. I wasn’t the same so it didn’t feel the same, I felt like I was shortchanging her.”

“Sounds like you made a lot of decisions for her.”

“I know she would’ve stayed if I didn’t leave but I also knew she wasn’t happy. I couldn’t say I love her and subject her to an unhappy marriage, it’s not fair.”

“Why didn’t you just get help?”

“I did that’s what led me to ask for a divorce.”

“Your help told you to get divorced?”

“Not explicitly. My therapist told me that I needed to take time to focus on myself with no distractions. My mother had died, My father showed back up in my life. It just felt like everything was falling apart and then I had my wife. Trying to be supportive but completely unhappy and walking on eggshells. It felt like I was torturing her and I didn’t want us to live like that. I didn’t want her to live like that. When I tried to explain what was going on, it just made everything worse.”

“What you mean?”

“I broke her. In such a short marriage, I broke her and I didn’t know how to undo what I had done. I also wasn’t in the space to undo it. I just wanted to die and I didn’t want her to see that.”

‘Did you try to-”

“It was a week after she had moved out. Complete nervous breakdown.”

“Chris, I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be. It was bound to happen. The mind can only take so much before it has to reset itself.”

“Did you tell her?”

“No. I made my family promise not to say anything to anyone either. I made her leave for that exact reason. Sometimes you can just feel when you’ve reached your breaking point.”

“True. So she had no idea?”

“No. If she had, she probably would’ve came back and never went through with the divorce. I didn't want her spending her life fixing my mess, that’s my job.”

“Wow. I appreciate you telling me this.”

“I’m surprised I did. Had this been a year or two ago, I probably would’ve stopped talking to you as soon as you asked about her.”

“Really?”

“Yea. Failure sucks.”

“Well, it doesn’t sound like you failed. It’s not like all avenues had been exhausted.”

“If your ex-husband had did this, would you be so accommodating?”

“If he had actually told me all this happened with him, absolutely. This is so much different than the silence and moping around that I got.”

“What if it wasn’t?”

“I mean I definitely have to get over feeling so betrayed first. Ten years of a relationship and he couldn’t trust me enough to let me in, that’s a hard pill to swallow.”

“Yea but it happens. I imagine my ex-wife would probably feel that exact same way.”

“I might not know you well enough to say this but I really think you should find her and talk to her. The years may have softened her.”

“I don’t think it would be right. I caused her enough issues, the last thing she’d probably want is to be reminded of me.”

“There you go making decisions for her again. You never know until you find out.”

“I guess.”

“Unless you don’t want to find out.”

“What you mean?”

“I think you’re afraid that you really did break her and she never bounced back. I think finding out that she hasn’t moved on scares you more than anything.”

“I-”

“You love her and I don’t think you will ever stop, so you want her to be happy. You want her to have forgotten about you and got everything she ever wanted in life. But if she hasn’t, you’d have to realize that though you did everything to protect her, you made the biggest mistake making her go especially when she didn’t want to. As a woman who’s been there and still there, you didn’t give her a chance to be what you needed because you were so worried about not being what you thought she wanted, even though you never asked.”

Robyn pulled her covers up under her chin as she laid back staring at her ceiling. Talking to Chris, really got her to thinking about her ex-husband. Did something happen to him to make him shut him down? Did he really walk out to save her like he told her? If so, why didn't he trust her to be there for him? At least this Chris is healed but clearly she has a penchant for damaged men. Is she a damaged woman? Did her ex really break her to the point she could never recover?

Chris sat on the phone with Anesa, half listening to her ramble about her day. He was going to go get her from his sister’s house but after talking with Anna, he needed the night to himself, to regroup. He couldn’t say that she was wrong. He never really thought about if his ex-wife was happy or not since he left. At least not out loud. Like what right did he have to shake up her life again after shaking it up in the first place? That’s why he never asked about her. It wasn’t right to be about her life if he made the initiative to walk out of it. Anna really showed him the other side of the situation, it really wasn’t as pretty and hopeful as he thought it would’ve been. He never thought of his divorce as a mistake but did he really ruin something that could’ve been fixed?

#loveisblindfanfiction #chrianna

[mypassionfortrash]

Do More of What Scares You: Parts 3 & 4 of 11

Roger is determined to help you overcome your anxiety in any way he can. Although he means well, all he seems to do is make everything worse. Can you make it work?

In these chapters, your anxiety gets the better of you when you and Roger sleep together for the first time, and when he goes off to America on tour for two months. Sensing your worry, he makes you an offer you’re not sure you can accept.

◾️ Read parts 1 and 2 here! ◾️

Pairing: Roger x f!reader Warnings: Smut (18+), angst, lots of talk about anxiety. These parts are very smutty! Notes: I’m rewriting my old series’ from ‘BoRhapRogerina’ ahead of finishing them for NaNoWriMo this year. Feedback is always appreciated!

[3/11]

Roger sat in silence beside you, waiting out the rest of the journey home. The date had gone so well until you got behind the wheel.

He liked to talk.

And you needed to concentrate.

You didn’t want either of you ending the evening in a ditch, so you told him to quieten down. Nicely, of course.

He looked like a kicked puppy, shooting you a pained glance that tugged at your heartstrings and made you second guess yourself. 

But, your mouth dried up. If you attempted to choke out an apology, those words might stick in your throat. 

Roger wouldn’t hear it if you tried; to him, you could do no wrong. 

You knew that.

Nearing town, the streetlights lit you up like an angel beside him.

You were so consumed by overthinking the situation, that you hadn’t realised that  Roger had been making doe eyes at you the rest of the way home. 

How were you to know? Yours were on the road as you hunched over the steering wheel. Ready to react to anything that came between you and your flat.

Turning on to your street, you found it still bustling. Half drunk neighbours and their kids sat on the low walls outside their homes, cracking open stout bottles of beer.

“Nearly there,” you sighed, the relief evident in your tone. Your hand rested on the gearshift, working the car down to a halt outside your place. There was a quiet between you and Roger.

The pair of you stared straight ahead. Neither could bear to break the awkward silence. Saying the wrong thing was a clear possibility here.

“Well,” you began, wringing your hands together in your lap, “goodnight.”

Half way out the driver’s seat, you felt Roger pull at the back of your dress.

“Wait, please.”

Glaring at him, you sat back down.

He wasn’t looking at you. Anything but you. His shoulders rose and fell steadily. His lips parted and then caught between his teeth.

“Roger? Is this about-”

Roger shook his head, smiling. “No. No it’s not.”

You reached out and took his hand. It was cold and damp.

“I had such an amazing day with you,” he sighed. “I like you…I really like you.”

You huffed in relief. “Thank goodness for that.”

Looking like a drowned rat beside him - makeup smeared and your hair falling into your eyes - he chuckled at the sight. He reached out to tuck it behind your ears. “Sorry if that scared you. I have a habit of being a bit too dramatic. And I don’t tend to go in for…” Roger tilted his head from side to side, searching for the rest of his sentence. “You know,” he leaned in close to you, whispering, “feelings.”

The last part of that announcement was wasted on you. Roger seemed to think he had done a bang up job of covering up his softer side as he laughed to himself. But his face fell just as quick realising you were gazing at a point beyond his shoulder.

The fancy car and its owner had attracted the attention of your neighbours, James and Maureen. Together with their neighbours from downstairs. They craned their necks, trying to get a good look at who you were with.

“What’s the matter?” Roger asked, looking hurt. “If that’s too soon, I’m really-”

“It’s… it’s fine. My neighbours are feeling nosy tonight,” you said, placing a hand on his shoulder. “They keep looking in.” Your cheeks burned, feeling so stupid for letting that get to you. You were certain Roger had to put up with far more. But this was your thing. Your one good thing.

“Oh,” Roger mouthed, leaning into you. “Maybe we should give them something to talk about?”

You looked left and right, then focused on Roger. “Like what?” Butterflies surged inside you, cottoning on.

He moved so close to you that you could feel his breath hot against your neck, lips to your ear. “I don’t think I want tonight to end.” He moved back, pressing his nose to yours. “Do you?”

That thing you did whenever your nerves reared their ugly heads happened. A half laugh, half sigh. All with a coy smile. And a fleeting kiss. You looked up at your flat window. “Do you want to go…” you trailed off, kissing him again, deeper this time. “Inside?”

“Are you ok with that?” Roger asked, pulling away from you. He placed his hand on your waist. His eyes full of concern.

You thanked your lucky stars for the darkness around you both. You had no idea how you looked, deliberating, but you could feel the heat rushing to your face. You were certain you looked ridiculous.

In the back of your mind you knew what it meant. What he’d be expecting. It wasn’t exactly a huge jump away from him seeing you naked earlier. But to have him in your space, all around you, that was the difference.

You snapped back to reality. Nodding. Going along with it.

You and Roger raced past your neighbours, nodding and giving them a curt, “hi.” Then up the stairs, stumbling arm in arm.

Bursting through the door and into your living room, you turned around and looked at the outline of Roger. He had his back to the door, waiting for you to switch on the light. But you enjoyed it like this. Still and dark. So quiet you could hear Roger’s awkward breaths against the backdrop of the dull rushing in your ears. Your chest heaved as you thumbed at the fabric of your dress.

“Do you want a drink?” you blurted.

Roger jolted back to life. “Uh, yeah. Yeah. That would be lovely. Thanks,” he rambled, running his hand over the wall behind him. He found the switch. Light. At last.

Through in the kitchen, you searched your cupboards for all the booze you had. White wine? No, too girly. Vodka? Come on, have some class. Whisky? What are you a fifty year old man or something? You took everything out, examining each bottle one by one. And then two glasses.

“Vodka.”

Roger stood in the kitchen doorway with his arms folded. His eyes were half shut. 

“Hm?”

“I’ll take a vodka.”

“Oh right. Ok, I’ve got you,” you babbled. “Mixers?”

Roger shrugged, entering the room. He picked up the bottle, reading the label, glasses perched at the end of his nose. “Christ, you don’t mess about. This is the strong stuff.”

“So do you need a mixer?” you asked. “Anything you like?”

“What do you usually drink it with?”

“Well,” you began, contorting your face to match your admission. “When I really need to get hammered… I’ll knock back a couple of shots.”

“I knew you were my kind of girl,” he said. He took control of the situation, opening the bottle and pouring you a measure each. He raised his glass to his lips and paused, narrowing his eyes. “You don’t have to be drunk to… you know?”

The vodka brushed against your lips and retreated back into the glass. “Oh, no. No I didn’t mean it like that.”

Lies, of course.

“Because I don’t think there’s enough in there for me and you,” Roger smirked, pointing at the bottle.

Your bottom lip quivered. “There’s a first time for everything.”

Roger’s glass met yours, clinking. “I’ll drink to that.”

“Cheers.”

Setting down your glasses on the counter, you and Roger groaned as the vodka burned your insides. “Think that’ll take the edge off?” he asked, biting his lip.

You leaned on the counter, puffing out your cheeks. “Yeah. I’m good.”

Lies again.

Roger mirrored you, looking at you from beneath his eyelashes. His gaze wasn’t reserved for your face. That, you could handle. Instead, it trailed from your eyes to your lips. Down to your neck. Lower and lower still as his teeth sank into his bottom lip yet again.

You edged closer to him.

His voice was lower than usual. “Can I kiss you? Properly, I mean?”

“You don’t have to ask,” you said, wrapping your arms around him. Your insecurity threatened to take another bite from you. But the vodka, what little of it you had, fended it off for now. Your fingers clung to the back of Roger’s shirt as the gap between you grew smaller by the second.

He made such quick work of pulling you in by your hips, your bodies pressed against each other’s. Then, he stopped, a whisker away from your mouth. Keeping you waiting one more moment than you could stand. It was torture, fighting off the urge to close the gap. You could feel his breath catch on your lips.

Finally, it happened.

A reserved sigh accompanied Roger’s tongue tracing across your lower lip. You could taste the vodka on him as he doubled his efforts. He was fervent enough that you were already pinned against the kitchen counter. His hands weaved through your hair, tugging at the roots, keeping you right where he needed you to be.

You were so overcome. Unable to move in a tug of war between apprehension and unbridled lust, your fingers were still kneading away at Roger’s crisp, white shirt.

He strayed to your jaw, lavishing it with hungry, open mouthed kisses.

You cracked when he nipped at your neck, meeting the sensation with a muffled mewl. He set about doing it again, purely for that same reaction. 

“You sound so fucking gorgeous,” he whispered, inching your dress up with his free hand and returning his lips to yours.

His fingers on your thighs made you tense.

Not this.

Not again.

You let go of his shirt as your body turned cold. You couldn’t hear his satisfied groans, as he continued to devour you, over the rushing in your ears. “Roger?”

That went unnoticed. He was far too distracted.

With all the strength you could muster, you planted your hands on his chest and pushed him away. Gasping, your lungs worked overtime to calm you down. “I’m sorry,” you choked.

“Did I hurt you?” Roger fretted. “I know I can be a bit-”

You hushed him with your fingers, searching for a road out of the room. “No, no.”

Roger noticed, moving out of your way. “Take as long as you need.” His hand brushed against your shoulder. “I’ll be here when you get back, ok?”

You raced to the bathroom and locked yourself inside. The tiled floor was like ice underneath you, but why did it feel like you were the one cracking?

Back to the door, you pressed your hands over your eyes, rubbing at them. Wiping away tears that were yet to fall. You  tried so hard to be cool and calm. You wanted him. But your brain always did this.

You couldn’t help but wonder how Roger would feel about this. You, cutting short a lovely evening to go and suffocate yourself on your bathroom floor. This might be the final straw for him.

You could only hope he wouldn’t be around to see you like this. After all, you still harboured so much pride. That was rich, coming from someone who was prone to feeling like they were going to be swallowed whole when faced with the most average human activity.

He was still there. Shuffling through the hallway.

He knocked on the door, the vibrations causing you to shake. “Are you alright in there?”

“Just about.”

You weren't.

“I’ve made you a cup of tea.”

“Ok.”

“I’ll leave it here beside the door, ok, darling? Take your time.”

As Roger placed the tea on the floor outside the bathroom, you cracked open the door, looking up at him. “I should be out in a minute. Just need to find my feet,” you said with an embarrassed smile.

Roger sat down in the hallway, handing you the cup of tea. “Do you need a hand?”

The first sip didn’t go down well. It felt like there was a fist around your throat, stopping anything from getting through. “No. My legs sometimes tingle when I get like this,” you spluttered. “I’m sorry for ruining your night.”

Roger’s expression flipped. “My dear, you’re going to need to stop apologising when you’ve done nothing wrong. You’ll only make yourself feel more guilty.” He was adamant about that.

You shook your head. “But I did. We were having a great time and I-” you trailed off, gesturing towards the kitchen. “I fucked up.”

“But you can’t help it.”

“Even still.”

“You can’t help it.”

You nodded, half agreeing. You couldn’t.

“What was it that brought it on?” Roger asked.

“Nothing that you did, honestly.” The defensiveness cut through your tone. There was no disguising it.

“Be honest.”

You shrugged like it was nothing. “I have a hard time letting people into my personal space like that. I have to know I can trust them. Sometimes it takes forever. Sometimes, it happens right away.”

“Ok,” Roger said.

“I wasn’t lying when I said I needed more vodka.” You attempted a smile through all the humiliation.

Roger reached out and took your hand. “Christ, you’re cold. Doesn’t help being sprawled on that bloody floor.”

——���————————————————————————

A pale gold lit up your humble abode through the curtains. Small snores came from underneath you, your pillow rising and falling in waves. Both of you were still clothed and the duvet lay discarded on the floor. Your face nestled into Roger’s chest, and his arm curled around your shoulders. He was warm and soft for someone so lithe. You didn’t want to move.

Towards the end of the night, you and Roger must have found your way to bed. You couldn’t remember how it happened. All you could recall was the conversation from the bathroom floor. How he talked you down and distracted you. How he listened and understood what you needed. How he comforted you.

You propped yourself up on your elbows, looking up at him. He seemed peaceful, still fast asleep.

Then the fear set in. What if he saw you like this, half asleep first thing in the morning? Unwashed. No makeup. Morning breath.

You rolled out of bed, careful not to make a sound. That one notorious floorboard gave you away. You gasped when you heard Roger stir.

“Where you going?” he asked, throwing his arm over his tired, delicate eyes.

“I-I’m just going to clean myself up,” you stumbled.

“Don’t be too long. I was enjoying that.”

In the bathroom, you leaned against the counter top, looking at yourself in the mirror. Dark circles. A pimple on your chin. A couple of stray hairs on your top lip. You fixated on the imperfections you saw. Why the hell would Roger enjoy you?

“COME BAAAAACK!” Roger whined.

“Give me a minute!”

Teeth brushed, dirty clothes off and a once over with a washcloth. That was all it took before you were back in your room, clad in your bathrobe. You thought nothing of it until Roger sat up, raising his eyebrows.

“What?” you asked, tying it around your waist.

Roger shook his head, grinning. “Nothing.”

Throwing yourself on to the bed beside Roger, you fumbled with the buttons on his shirt. You felt more bold than you were last night. “It’s something.” You undid all the buttons, while you waited for Roger’s response.

Roger’s breath hitched in his throat as you straddled his waist, giving his collarbones delicate kisses. “Are you wearing anything underneath that?” He asked.

You sat upright, caressing the strip of skin between his jeans and his navel. “Do you want to find out?”

Roger’s hands came to rest on your thighs on either side of him. All he could do was look up and nod, renouncing all control of the situation.

You smirked, taking one end of the silk tie in your hand, and giving it a gentle tug. Enjoying Roger’s more malleable side, you decided to draw the act out. You bit your lip, cocking your head to the side. “Are you sure?”

“Please.” Roger’s fingers fidgeted on your thighs. “Let me see you.”

There was still that tense nervousness pulling away at your insides. But you would have been lying if you said that presenting yourself to him like this wasn't exhilarating. Wiggling your hips from side to side on top of him, you tried to gauge his reaction. “Like what you see?” you asked, the fabric slipping off your frame.

Roger laughed, grabbing your hips as he rolled on top of you, pinning you down. “I think I’m going to keep you, yes.” He gave you a quick, ardent kiss, before picking up where you both had left off last night. “I think you must be the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen,” he murmured, allowing his hands and mouth to roam. He paused, blinking up at you. "Do you trust me?"

Remembering your conversation from last night, a chill rushed through you. You didn't have to think about it. The fact that he had even considered asking you that question was good enough for you. "Yes. I do."

"Thank you." Resuming his work, Roger's hands had taken to your thighs while his lips imparted wet, hungry kisses on your breasts. His tongue danced over your nipple. He groaned as it hardened in his mouth, giving it a pinch with his teeth.

Arching your back into him, you eased yourself into what was happening. Heat grew between your legs as Roger gave you a drowsy look. 

He turned his efforts lower. 

You became more responsive as he spread your legs, dragging his fingers along the back of your thighs.

You couldn’t help whining as your impatience grew.

The feverish kisses on your stomach gave way to absurd, chaste little smacks along the inside of your thigh. Even the feeling of his breath on your skin had you rolling your hips with need. Whimpering into the pillow, you grasped at his hair.

He lazily played with you. Feathering his fingers up and down your slick slit, he marvelled at your arousal. “You’re so wet for me, darling,” he purred. 

All you could muster was a desperate hum before he let loose on you.

Roger savoured each stroke, parting your folds with the flat of his tongue. It wasn’t his fingers pressing into your thighs, or the way he closed his eyes, or the sounds escaping him that gave his enjoyment away. It was the way he moved into you, fraught with hunger and the desire to please you. His tongue was forceful, lapping away at your lips, pulling them into his mouth.

And you? All you wanted was more.

Even if you tried to roll your hips to reach your goal, he would only push back even more. You squirmed and writhed, aching.

Finally, his tongue brushed over your clit. It was fleeting but enough to elicit something more verbal from you. A pathetic, loud and needy moan, coupled with a sharp tug at Roger’s hair had him grinning. He looked up, “oh, you like that?”

You bit your lip, looking down at him. Pleading with your eyes for him to do it again. Keep doing it. Never stop doing it.

Roger replaced his mouth with his hands, fingers lingering at your entrance. “Tell me how much you liked it,” he ordered, slipping two fingers inside you. He curled them in on themselves repeatedly, touching just the right spot to make your hips buck against him, gasping desperately. “Tell me,” he goaded.

You screwed your eyes shut in frustration, struggling to verbalise how much you needed his mouth on you again. Managing to squeak out a feeble, “please,” you could hear Roger laugh as he continued to tease.

“You sound so pretty when you beg.” Another quick dart of his tongue over your lips. “Tell me what you want.”

“Roger,” you called, fists balling up in the sheets, “please, I need to come.”

Roger swiped his tongue around, but not on, your clit, his fingers still working away inside you. The sound was obscene. “Since you asked so nicely.”

He held nothing back. He focused all his attention directly on your most sensitive spot. The contact was absolutely electric, making your legs tremble and every muscle inside you pull taut as he moved his tongue and his fingers in sync. Chipping away at the last small semblance of control you had. He was relentless.

He never let up as your fingernails clawed at his scalp. Or as the most unholy sounds escaped your lips. Certainly not when your cunt began to throb and quiver around his tiring fingers. Not until that knot in your stomach snapped free, leaving you breathless and your skin glistening.

It took forever for you to become coherent and lucid again, but when you did, Roger was still between your legs, laying affectionate kisses on to your stomach. You covered your face with your hands to process everything that had just happened, trying to clench your thighs together.

Sensing the change in you, Roger moved up the bed. As he loomed over you, you could feel his cock press against your stomach through his jeans. His breathing was slow and heavy, your scent so clear on his skin. “Are you ok?” He asked, kissing your nose and both your hands.

Dragging your hands down your face, he came into view. You nodded and with a hoarse voice, you reassured him. “Yeah, I just need a minute.”

“Ok,” Roger whispered, starting to move to your side.

“No, don’t,” you said, tugging at the edges of his shirt.

Roger stayed put, stroking your hair as it splayed across the pillow around you, looking down and admiring you in all your flushed and tired glory.

“This is a very attractive angle,” you murmured, a smirk on your lips.

“Do you even have a bad side?” Roger asked, squinting down at you.

With care, you ran your thumb along Roger’s jaw. “Lots of them.”

He kissed your nose before burying his face in the crook of your neck. More kisses. Slow and passionate. Ratcheting up the mood again.

“Who knew you’d get so riled up with all this sentiment?” you giggled.

“Over you, you mean?” he grinned, leaning down to kiss you. His hips rolled against yours as your kiss deepened, limbs intertwining pulling you both together. His movements became more purposeful. The feeling of his cock, still in his jeans, rubbing against your spent and sensitive cunt only made you eager for another round, mewling into Roger’s mouth.

He broke away, planting his hands on either side of you. “Do you want to…you know?”

You smiled sweetly, urging him to go ahead.

He needed no other encouragement, leaning back to undo his jeans and free his cock. Veined, hard and glistening pink at the head, he stroked his length. The gap between you closed again as he brushed the tip of his cock between your folds, coating it. Head back, mouth open, he groaned contentedly as he filled you for the first time.

The fire inside you grew wildly out of control as you pushed back into him. Every single move of his was tentative. He was holding so much back.

“Fuck me like you mean it," you joked, slapping his arm.

Roger dramatically draped himself over you, grinding into you. He kept his gaze trained on you. His pace quickened, unable to maintain his restraint. The soft sound of flesh on flesh grew louder. “You’re so fucking tight,” he hissed into the pillow.

You dug your fingernails into his back and wrapped your legs high around his body, forcing him deeper. Whimpering, you tried to reach his lips to stifle it.

“Moan for me, come on. I want to hear you darling,” he grunted, doubling his efforts. “Don’t go shy on me now.”

You grasped a handful of his hair, pulling him in for a feverish, breathless kiss.

You could feel him becoming tense. His breath hitching. His hips jerking.

“You gonna come, my love?” you whispered.

“Yeah,” he grunted, burying his face into the pillow again, his movements growing erratic. With one last growl into your neck, his cock throbbed, pumping strand after strand of cum into you until there was nothing left to do but collapse onto you.

You held him, bodies glued together in sheer bliss until your breathing stilled. It felt like forever before Roger rolled off you and on to his back.

He looked over at you from the other side of the bed. Cheeks flushed, lips parted, still wearing that dreamy look of his.

“You’re so fucking beautiful,” you grinned.

Roger turned his attention to the ceiling. Eyes scrunched. Cheeks puffed out. A coy smile on his lips. Then he gave a big sigh. “I think you were made for me.”

[4/11]

All those nerves at the beginning melted away as your trust in Roger grew. Every time you and him got together, he would pull you out of your shell even more; everyone noticed that change in you.

Until he was due to leave for another tour.

It worried you for weeks. In secret, of course. He couldn’t find out about the dread that gripped you when you were left alone with your thoughts. When he was gone.

How long you had with him? Where this was going? Who was going to take your place when he inevitably got bored of you?

It was a wet Wednesday morning and you hadn’t done a stitch. Your blinds were closed and your laundry overflowed from the basket. You wasted precious moments bathing. Only because it was necessary. And putting the kettle on. Again, necessary.

You had taken the day off work to spend as much time as you could with him before he left. Doing nothing but cocoon yourselves in blankets and work your way through endless pots of tea. You couldn't allow this to bug you any longer.

Unfurling Roger’s arm from around your shoulders, you turned around to face him. Fingers grasping at the edges of the blanket around you. “When do you come home again?”

Roger drained the last of his cup of tea and sighed. “Two months.” 

You huffed, looking towards the window. “I’m going to miss you.”

Roger stroked your hair; little comfort in the face of the first real test in your relationship. “I’ll speak to you every day. I promise."

——————————————————————— 

True to his word, despite the time difference, he did. He snuck away from his bandmates, paying through the nose on long distance calls in the early hours of the morning, leaning against the side of a different phone booth every night, half asleep.

Three weeks in, Roger was somewhere in Santa Ana, passing through at a truck stop. His bandmates were within earshot as he slunk towards the row of grubby phones. He glanced at his watch, making sure his timing wasn’t completely unreasonable and began slotting his money in. His fingers jabbed away at the buttons. He had memorised your number by now.

It was three in the morning back home. The trill of your phone roused you in seconds flat. You had moved your phone beside your bed for easy access. Goodness knows what hour Roger would call at on any given day. You had to be prepared. Flinging yourself over the edge of the bed to pick up the receiver, you croaked. “Roger?”

“Hello my darling. What time is it over there?”

You chuckled, lying back down. “Witching hour.”

Roger laughed, leaning his head against the wall in front of him. “It’s always witching hour with you.”

“How was your gig? You had one today, didn’t you?”

“No. We’re heading to LA now. How’s work?”

One of the consequences of speaking every day was that you were quick to run out of things to talk about. All he did was play shows, or scrabble. Or drink. You didn't want to think about anything other than that, though sometimes your imagination ran wild.

And you whittled down the days at a poky little office. It paid peanuts. Sometimes you would go out with friends, but those were good days. Those were rare. “It’s work, really. Isn’t it?”

There was silence on the other end of the line. Roger pinched the bridge of his nose, determined not to allow the hurt to scratch the surface. “And how are you feeling?” His voice was small, now. He wasn’t his usual cheerful self.

A great roar of cheering and giggling erupted wherever Roger was. It caught your attention, tying knots in your stomach. “I’m good. Are you and the guys doing anything nice?”

“Oh, you know,” he began, laughing, “the guys have brought some girls to the bus. But I'm just going to go to-”

Your skin became cold at that sentence. “Girls?”

“Yeah.”

“Ok.”

“I miss you.”

“Do you?”

“I’ll be thinking of you,” he said quietly.

Your brain couldn’t stop it. “When you fuck them, you mean?”

Roger was taken aback. “You don’t have anything to worry about, I promise. They’re not for me. But you are.”

You rolled your eyes. “I’ll take your word for it.”

“I… I lo…I miss you. So much.”

His words weren’t much consolation. “I’ll speak to you soon, Roger.”

You said your goodbyes and hung up the phone.

Brian and Freddie loitered a few feet away from Roger, discussing their plans for the night. They paid him no attention as he made his phone call.

Until he punched at the wall in front of him. Tears began to crawl from his eyes. This wasn't like him at all.

Sure, tantrums were a daily occurrence with Roger, but very seldom did he cry in anyone’s company. He was much too proud for that. Right now though, he was on his own planet.

He stood there for what felt like forever, hands furiously drying his eyes, head bowed. His shoulders rose and fell as he tried to calm himself down.

Brian and Freddie were mesmerised. They glanced at him and then each other, shrugging their shoulders. “What do you think’s the matter with him?” Freddie whispered in Brian’s ear, covering his hand with his mouth. Being quiet wasn’t his forte.

“Probably another one of his hissy fits.”

The movement of Roger’s shoulders seemed to speed up.

“Do you think we should talk to him?” Brian asked, giving Freddie a worried look, hoping that it wouldn’t have to be him.

“Oh alright, I’ll bloody do it!” Freddie announced, graciously accepting the invitation no one had asked for.

Without warning, Roger turned around. His cheeks and eyes were red and puffy. “It’s not another one of my bloody tantrums!”

“Alright. Don’t be so dramatic, Rog,” Brian said, holding up his hands. “What happened?”

“I heard he’s got himself a new plaything,” Freddie jibed.

In that moment, Roger saw red, closing the gap between himself and his best friend. He puffed out his chest, getting in Freddie's face. “What was that?”

“Oh here we go,” Brian muttered folding his arms.

Freddie stood as tall as he could. His tone was fair and commanding, offering Roger little room to escalate the situation. “Do you think we don’t notice you sneaking off at all hours? Hogging every phone you see? When you're all bleary eyed and quiet? Have you met someone?”

Roger opened his mouth to speak. But he knew the game was up. Freddie had his number.

Deacy decided to make an appearance at exactly the right moment, staggering out of the bus, grinning. “Who’s Roger meeting?”

Roger rolled his eyes and threw his arms at his sides. “It doesn’t matter anyway. I’ve well and truly fucked up now.”

Before his friends could answer, he darted towards the bus, like a stroppy teenager, running away from all his problems. He paid no attention to the group of scantily clad girls congregated in the lounge area. Instead, he climbed into his coffin sized bunk and slipped on his headphones. He didn’t want to be disturbed. He wanted to be alone.

Outside, Brian, Deacy and Freddie were still trying to process what happened, shrugging and exchanging confused looks.

At ten o’clock the following morning, your phone rang again. A rude awakening on your day off. You lay awake the entire night, torturing yourself, wondering what Roger was up to.

You picked it up, expecting it to be your manager, calling you in to work.

But, no. It was Roger.

“What time is it over there?”

“It’s two in the morning,” he sighed. “I don’t know why I’m calling you.”

“Guilt? Did you think of me?” The hurt cut through your tone; it was so obvious that Roger couldn’t miss it.

He widened his eyes at your response, seeming to forget your exchange only hours prior. “Sorry?”

“With your groupies? Did you think of me?”

Roger paused for a moment. He took a deep breath, trying to muster the least defensive response he could. “I was awake all night actually. Worrying myself sick about you while the rest of them took care of the girls.”

“You've got a show tomorrow. Today, actually. Get some sleep.”

“I can’t.”

“And you expect me to believe that?” You asked, turning on to your back and staring at the ceiling.

It wasn’t even the fact that you were convinced Roger had been with other women since he embarked on the tour that bothered you. It was the fact that your brain seemed to be clobbering you over the head with that thought all the time. It convinced you that you weren’t good enough. And you couldn’t string together the words to express that. Not without Roger becoming even more insufferable, for the vicious cycle to start all over again.

His voice cracked through the rushing in your ears. “Are you still there, my love?”

“I’m still here.”

“What are you doing for the rest of the week?” he asked.

Now he wanted to make small talk? Really? “Working. Same as every other day.”

“Are you off work today?”

What was with all the questions? “Yeah,” you huffed, “I was hoping I could sleep all my cares away and fester in my bed. I feel like shit.”

“If that's what you need, I won’t keep you. Can I ask you one more thing?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you have any more holidays to take off work?”

You recoiled from the receiver, narrowing your eyes. “I have a few. Why?”

The old Roger, the Roger you were enjoying getting to know was back. “Because I think I might sleep better if you were lying in a confined space on top of me.”

“That sounds terrible for me. My worst nightmare, actually.”

“What? A confined space or getting on a plane to see me? Have you ever been on a plane?” He asked, his words gathering pace. “Do you even have a passport?”

“Roger-”

“I mean, it would be great. If it makes you uncomfortable then you don’t have to do it.”

A familiar tightness bore down on your chest. The more he spoke, the heavier it grew. You needed out of this conversation fast. “Can I think on it?”

“Of course. Let me know tomorrow.”

And just like that, the weight was lifted. “Ok.”

“Darling?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m with you, and only you,” he said, exaggerating those words. “But I need you to trust me.”

“I’m trying my best. It’s going to take time.”

“Are we ok?”

“I hope so. Please don’t do anything stupid.”

“I won’t. Not until you get here. As I recall, you seem to get a kick out of me being stupid,” he joked. You could picture that smile of his as he spoke. “Enjoy your day off.”

The worries you had about him subsided for the time being. You sighed with a contented smile. “Have an amazing show. Only five more weeks until you're home.”

Roger laughed. “I love you.”

Those words were like a bucket of cold water being dumped all over you. The hairs on your arms stood on end and a shiver ran down your spine. Disbelief seeped into your core again. “Thank you.”

Roger's laughter grew as he hung up. That was everything he loved about you, summed up, right there.

You had a big decision to make.

#roger taylor #roger taylor x reader #queen

[sonicranticoot]

About CTR, Money, and Both Together: Part 2

Continuing from part 1.

Somehow it has been brought to my attention many more things that just...don’t say any good things, any good things, about the situation of the game and possibly the entire Crash and Spyro franchises going forward. I’m known to keep a very positive image here and I want this to continue, but sometimes, life sucks and then you die. So yes, this one is a lot angrier than the one before. You got to let it all out sometimes.

First thing is how these are actually out now, and boy are they terrible. Not just the fact they exist, but you can make 2500 in about an hour each day with online play. Or just pay Activision (not Beenox) $2.49 for that. A lot of people have been talking about how ridiculously overpriced the bundle for the Probulot 2000 is, and that can take a while to grind out even for online players (I have the dearest sympathies for people who don’t have their console’s online service and are stuck with offline payrates). Or, you could just hand that nice old Activision marketer (not Beenox) $9.99 for coins that disappear as soon as you buy them. I remember years back when Capcom got major slack for selling people costumes in Street Fighter IV for $3.99 a pop. Except there, you got a costume for five characters, and each costume had ten palette swaps. And that’s not going back to before that game, where you could get those in games at the low, low price of being earned as an in-game reward like beating the game on a certain difficulty or whatever.

It just goes back to how it used to be. Crash Team Racing is a 20-year old classic game that had a wealth of content you did not have to pay a cent for past the initial purchase of the game. Some people may say, “well, nothing in the original CTR can be unlocked with microtransactions”, and although that may be correct, it is completely missing the point. Content shown heavily before launch, like all the characters from Crash Nitro Kart and the new karts taken from Tag Team Racing, the stuff that was used to show “hey, look, it’s a little more than just CTR”, that stuff is locked behind an in-game store that allows you to spend real money. That’s not even going into the people who want to put N. Tropy or his digital skin in the shop. I actually commend Beenox for putting in something that, unlike the Pit Stop, forces players to get better at the game to have in their possession. The whole thing takes some pride out of the game. It barely feels like it’s a reward for people who didn’t pay up anymore because now people can go out and buy it with real money. Maybe.

That goes back to the fucking Fortnite store layout. Yeah I know this shop was problematic before, but didn’t go into as much as detail on why it is. Let’s say someone wants that one special skin, they want to buy Crunch that badly, that special car, or paint job. The store is set up to force players to wait, or buy things to roll again and hope what they get shows up. And with the addition of microtransactions, now, you can brute force, but even that still doesn’t help you if the Pit Stop gods don’t feel like playing nice and that special skin you wanted is the very last one in rotation. Some people aren’t that patient. This especially goes for offline players who have to spend hours trying to spend up for even one item. This type of impatience leads to kids stealing daddy’s credit card and spending $1,300 on gambling in FIFA. That’s really where this whole shit stops being “optional”, and feels like a deliberate part of the game. Because it is. It is a deliberate decision made on Activision’s part to make a predatory store. The paid solution now exists to a problem they created, and said paid solution doesn’t even fucking work.

Yes. Some people saw microtransactions coming. Some of these people like the game. Others didn’t like it, and are rubbing it into the former’s face. That doesn’t actually solve the issue here. What is the issue is that they weren’t there. People played the game for over a month without them. All the reviews were out, they were great. YouTubers praised it, both Crash-oriented and otherwise. The ESRB didn’t have to put a warning on the box. It’s all nice and cozy.

Then they do this. I’ve seen the review bombing of Metacritic. I’ve seen many Youtubers who have loved the game before either turn against it, or just express endless disgust over it. The ESRB can’t even do their fucking job of warning people that they are in the game, because there are a lot of copies out there that don’t have the “contains in-game purchases” label on them without glancing at one sentence in size 2 text on the back of the box as if Activision is playing their own twisted game of “ok, how can we tell people they’re in, but in such a way they won’t know it”, so someone, let’s say said person has a gambling problem, can buy the game, hear the good word of mouth from people who played it when it did NOT have MTX, and all of a sudden, they found a game that can prey upon them. I mentioned last time Activision did not make the message clear to consumers. Activision doesn’t want their message clear not just to consumers (and that goes for all consumers, from kids, to people with impulse buying problems, to genuine gambling addicts), but ratings boards either.

In short, all that goodwill Activision built up with this game, Spyro Reignited, Crash N. Sane, it’s gone. Not all of it is. But denying it’s done a crippling blow to things would be foolish. This game has a ton of issues. They’re all still here. MTX are though. It doesn’t give me, or anyone, a reason to trust them about what they do with these franchises, because they aren’t immune to any of the MTX bullshit that regularly plagues Call of Duty or whatever. I like the Crash and Spyro games for many reasons, but one big thing is that their newest release were free of this shit, they were old school ways of making people sold on games: by being really, really good games. You payed for a game. It’s good. Simple. Sweet. To the point.

You know what? Like Crash Bandicoot and Spyro the Dragon, Activision’s own Call of Duty sold millions and reviewed very well when it didn’t have microtransactions as well. FIFA did too. Grand Theft Auto did as well. Mortal Kombat also did. Deus Ex did. 2K sports games did. Fallout did. Elder Scrolls did. Plants vs. Zombies did. Quality games make money by being that. Quality games. Who would’ve guessed. Obviously Activision didn’t make all these games. And that’s the problem. Crash isn’t even new to this shit, it’s just one of countless classic, acclaimed franchises now subjected to the scummiest predatory practices that again, were initially made for free-to-play games that didn’t cost a dime to start playing. You didn’t see these in console games because they weren’t build for that practice. Yes, they make money, but console games could again, make money in a way a F2P mobile game can not: straight-up buying the game.

One of the worst (that’s a drinking game at this point) things is that let’s say people do get the message: everything in CTR can be earned in-game, not all the hard to do at that, the MTX coin rates are terrible, and thus, most people don’t buy the MTX. As in 99% of people don’t buy MTX. But you have whales, that 1% of people who these types of business practices specifically are psychologically engineered to pander to, spending literal thousands of dollars on coins for a cartoon kart racer and Activision can get the idea from them and only them of how to make money. And those types of practices become more accepted because of this, rinse, lather, repeat. There’s no winning scenario except for not having them in the game.

In short, Activision is the single slimiest, greediest, dirtiest, most absolutely fucking disgusting money-lusting pig of a company in the video game business and I am very, very disappointed in how corrupting classic games and franchises with pure filth meant to destroy bank accounts has consumed the industry. Activision is obviously not the only company that does this, but I can’t say many of the others are willing to do things like lie to the people who’s job is to warn people about these things. Fuck. Straight. Off.

Let it be known despite all that I am still a big Crash fan. I love the game. I’m eagerly anticipating Beenox to confirm Pasadena as a playable racer, I want to see how Brio looks in the game as well as what kind of race track the game will see when he is introduced, I want to see the Spyro stuff, I want to see what kind of crazy costumes they make or old school vehicles make a return, etc.  I payed $40 for it. That’s the only money I’m giving it because that’s the point. I’m just disappointed. And that’s severely underselling it.

#crash bandicoot #crash team racing nitro fueled #activision #microtransactions #rant

[kpopnstuff1]

Unrequited Love (finale)

AN: Hope you find this Namjoon x Reader fic intresting. I worked hard on this and I hope you like it. Sorry if there are mistakes. Please send feedback and or requests. BORAHAE <3 <3 <3 <3

IF YOU HAVE READ THIS FAR...THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART. ENJOY THE LAST PART TO THIS STORY. 

Read PT1 PT2 PT3 PT4 PT5 PT6 PT7 

7 months had gone by so fast that I didn’t have time to breathe. Even though my heart ached for Namjoon, I couldn’t help but become friends with Kyungmi during the wedding planning. I was happy that Namjoon had found her. She was a great woman and she was going to be an especially great step mom to Jaejoon. It only made me feel worse for wanting her future husband. “Y/N I'm so nervous, I hope everything goes right tomorrow.” I was stuck in my thoughts when I noticed her looking at me. “Y/N are you okay? You seem a little off today.” “Ahh yea I’m good, I’m just a little tired. And please don’t worry, the wedding planner and I have everything under control.” “I’m so happy to have you. I don’t have lots of family so it’s nice being part of yours.” Her smile broke my heart even more. “Well, I’m gonna get going. You get some rest and please don’t worry.” She nodded and I gave her one last hug before leaving.

To:Y/N

From: Jiminie

Baby what time are you coming home? Jaejoon is in bed and I wanted to spend some alone time with you!

To: Jiminie

From: Y/N

I’m sorry Jimin, I have to finish some stuff up before the wedding tomorrow. Rain check?

To: Y/N

From: Jiminie

Alright love, don’t worry. If I’m asleep just let me know you arrived home safe.

To: Jiminie

From: Y/N

Don’t wait up love. I’ll see you later.

I couldn’t handle my emotions right now so I decided to go to a bar/club to drink them away. I had called Mark to join me but he was busy with his girlfriend. I was on my 5th drink when I felt a tap on my shoulder. “Y/N!!! What are you doing all alone over here?” Namjoon said while going in for a hug. “Namjoon? What are you doing here?” “It’s my bachelor party! I’m here with my boys! Come join us!” He smiled at me. That smile could make me do just about anything. “Fellas this is Y/N! She’s gonna join us! Y/N this is Hoseok, Yoongi, and Seokjin. They are my best friends.” It was strange because I had never met them before. He had never opened his world to me and it felt a little strange that he was doing it now. “Wow Namjoon, this was your ex wife. Why did you let her go!?” A drunk Yoongi slurred. “Yea Namjoon! She’s so pretty.” Hoseok said as he came closer to you. “Thank you. But today isn’t about me! Today it’s about Namjoon!” I screamed as I downed my shot of tequila.

NPOV

The night went by so fast that you didn’t have time to think of your troubles. Seeing Namjoon so carefree and having fun was something you had never seen before. You were having so much fun going club to club that you hadn’t noticed the time. “Gotta go, Jimin is waiting for me.” You slurred. “What you’re leaving now? You can’t!” Namjoon held on to you to keep you from falling. “ I have to, you should go home too. You get...married tomorrow.” You gulped. Namjoon laughed “ Y/N you can’t even stand up right. Come on. Let’s go home.” You felt sudden panic “wait Jimin can’t see me like this.” “Fine let’s just go to our old condo. I’m staying there since I can’t see Kyungmi until tomorrow.” Namjoon quickly dialed his driver while you said your goodbyes. The boys didn’t want to leave so they stayed in the club. “C’mon Y/N the drivers here.” You nodded and went with him.  

“Namjoon I don’t feel so good.” You said as you reached the door. “It’s ok hun. I’ll give you some coffee to make you feel better.”

After a trip to the bathroom and a cup of coffee you felt much better. “Y/N I'm going to bed. I’ll stay in the guest room. You can stay in my room.” “I’m going to shower first if that’s okay.” He nodded and went toward the stairs with you in hand.

You stayed under the warm water for what seemed like an eternity. You were about to walk into the room when you heard soft music coming from the guest room. You quietly walked towards the room and peered through the cracked door. “Namjoon?” “Hey hun.” “Weren’t you going to bed?” You asked as you walked in. “I just needed a couple more drinks. I’ll be going to bed soon. You walked up to him and caressed his cheek. “You should get some sleep. You have a big day ahead of you.” He smiled and nodded. “Come, I’ll tuck you in.” He nodded, but right as he got up he almost fell over you. “Woah, I guess I’m a bit tipsy.” He gave you a small smile that melted your heart. You got him on the bed and sat him down. “Here I’m going to undress you okay. You took off his shoes then started for his dress shirt. Once you finished with the last button you could only hold your breath. You had forgotten how good his body once felt under your fingertips. Once you were about to reach for his waist you saw a bump starting to form, making you automatically stop. “I should get to bed. You can finish right?” You said a little blushed. “Wait.” Namjoon said as he grabbed your wrist. “Stay with me.” “Namjoon you’re drunk. Please lay down ok.” Just then Namjoon pulled you on top of him. His lips smothering yours. It felt like soft honey covering your lips. His breath scented with the smell of alcohol, yet still very appealing. His kisses were small and sweet at first. Then getting much hungrier filled with lust. You were consumed by your feelings when you suddenly came to. “Namjoon...I can’t.” You breathed out between kisses. “Please, I need you now.” With that he pulled open your bathrobe. He quickly placed kisses along your jaw down to your collarbone to your chest. “ I can’t wait any longer I have to have you.” He paused looking at you. You nodded and with that he pulled you to the bed. He completely undressed and got on top of you. “I need you.” You whispered. That was all it took for him to comply. Everything felt so wonderful in that moment. Your body filled with lust and desire. Namjoon’s moans made your body ache for him even more. “Namjoon please don’t stop” you panted. He bit your neck and kissed your cheek. “I love you Kyungmi.” It took you a second before you registered what he had just said. You quickly stopped him and pushed him off of you. “I’m sorry Namjoon. This was a mistake. We shouldn’t have done this.” You said with tears in your eyes. You wrapped yourself in the sheets and ran out of the room before he could see your tears.

YPOV

I couldn’t believe what I had just done. I ran to the room and put on my clothes. I waited for a second thinking Namjoon would run after me. But he didn’t. I got an Uber and ran downstairs to wait for it. I slowly walked into the house not wanting to wake up Jaejoon, or worse Jimin. “Y/N?” His voice made me jump almost sending me to the ground. “Jimin what are you doing up?” “Well I was worried. It’s 4 in the morning. Why haven’t you answered my texts or calls? Come on let’s go to bed.” He was about to lean into me when I moved away. “Have you been drinking? By yourself?” I nodded. “I’m sorry. I just wanted to relax a bit after a long day of planning.” I held back the lump in my throat. I was happy that Jimin couldn’t see my face in the dark. I couldn’t look at this sweet man in the eyes. Not after what I did. We may have not ended things but I did start them. And that alone was something I could never forgive myself.

“Y/N, honey wake up. It’s time to get ready. We have a wedding to attend.” Jimin was giving me kisses on my cheek and once again I remembered what I had done the night before. “ I’ll be up in a second. “I’ll meet you downstairs. I’m making pancakes!” Jimin left me alone with my thoughts. And before I knew it my tears were pouring out of my eyes. “Mommy you okay? Why you sad mommy?” Jaejoon climbed on top of me and kissed my cheeks. “I’m okay baby, mommy just doesn’t want to get up.” “It’s okay mommy, I sometimes no want to get up too.” He smiled and wiped my tears away. Seeing him only made me want to cry even more. He looked more like his father everyday. He even had the same gorgeous dimple smile.

NPOV

Getting ready after breakfast took a lot out of you. You were nervous for today. You had to see Kyungmi before the ceremony to make sure things for the party were all set. “Jimin I’m leaving. I’ll see you and Jaejoon there okay.” I kissed Jimin on the cheek and pulled away quickly. But he was too quick and grabbed my hand. “I don’t know what’s been going on with you love, but know that I’m here for you. I love you and I will do anything for you my love.” I nodded and kissed his lips. “I know, sometimes I feel like I don’t deserve you.” “Don’t say that. Now go on!”

YPOV

“You look stunning Kyungmi.” I said as I walked in on her getting her make up done. “Thank you! And you haven’t seen it all together! Thank you again for being here. Means a lot to me.” I felt the tears coming again. “Oh don’t cry Y/N.” Little did she know, it was because of guilt. “I’m sorry. I just wanted to make sure everything at the venue was good for you?” She nodded. “Okay then, I will be downstairs with the guest. Congratulations again.” I said with a shaky voice. I couldn’t look at her any longer or else I would spill the secret and I couldn’t afford to hurt so many people on such a special day. I was mid thought when I was yanked into a room. “What the fu- ” “Sorry, I just needed to talk.” “Oh, Namjoon. Look let me go fir-” “No! I’ll go first! Look I’m sorry things happened the way they did last night. I was a bit tipsy, drunk actually. I didn’t mean to give you the wrong idea. I love Kyungmi and I have so much love for you. Please don’t misunderstand the situation. I don’t want our relationship to suffer because of this. And I don’t want to hurt Kyungmi for something stupid that happened between two drunk people. I’m sure it meant nothing to you as well.” There was a long pause. I was so stunned by what had just happened that I couldn’t think straight. How could he be this way. I actually thought that at least it meant something. Or at least caused him to feel some of what I felt. But I guess I was wrong. “Don’t worry Namjoon. It meant nothing. Like you said, we were both drunk and didn’t know what we were doing.” I nervously laughed. “I’m glad we understand each other.” He tried to reach for my hand but I stepped back. “I better get down there. Jimin is waiting for me. Good Luck, and congratulations.” I quickly left before he could say anything else.

“Y/N, there you are. Let’s go find a spot before things begin.” You nodded and followed Jimin with your son in hand. It was a couple minutes before they announced that the ceremony was about to begin. “You be good Jaejoon! Your job is very important ok baby!” Jimin told Jaejoon as he tucked in his dress shirt. “I’ll be back love.” I had to place Jaejoon at the beginning of the isle to walk down with the rings. I was crouched down when I saw Namjoon step by the aisle. Just then Turning Page started playing. “I love you guys.” Was the last thing he whispered to the two of us before he walked down the aisle. I then sent Jaejoon after Namjoon reached the front. I walked back to my seat to sit next to Jimin. “He looks so handsome.” I nodded. Knowing that Jimin was talking about my baby. “He is.” I said while staring at Namjoon’s smile. Everyone gasped in unison making me turn around. Kyungmi looked so gorgeous in her dress. When I looked back up at Namjoon my heart stopped for what seemed like forever. At that moment I knew deep in my soul that i had lost my chance with one of the most wonderful men on this earth. I couldn’t help but cry. I was sobbing when Jimin reached for my hand. “Are you okay?” “I will be” I whispered.

#bts fanfic #bts fanfiction #bts imagine #kpop fanfic #kpop fanfictions #kpop imagines #namjoon x reader #rm x reader #kim namjoon kim seokjin #min yoongi #jung hoseok #park jimin #kim taehyung #jeon jungkook #rm #jin #suga #j hope #jimin #v #jungkook #kpopnstuff1 #unrequited love #love

[silviasutton1989]

T.T.K. Ch. 12 Part 1 “Le jeux sont fait”

A/N: I won say much but I really hope you guys don’t get mad at me for what I am about to do with this story. I know that we all have our different ships I just hope that you are ok with going through this journey even if you don’t necessarily like where it goes. Yes this is a 2 part chapter it would have been 5000 words had I not split it so although you might not get the answers you like I left several clues (one big one) that can point you in the right direction. 

Word Count: 2400

Rating: M course language slightly sexual situations

Summary: Although it’s the day after Riley’s birthday the encounters fro last night still remain.

Catch Up: Chapter 1  1.2  2  3  4  5  6  7 8  9  9.2  9.25   10   11

Drake punches the wall full force, his fist throbbing at the impact but rage wouldn’t allow him to feel the pain. Or at least not that one, his heart was already wounded. Riley was happy, and that smile was something that he hadn’t been able to put on her face in days. Is this how he will always feel with her? Incompetent?

A light touch breaks him from his thoughts.

“Ca va?”

Not bothering to look at her “Kiara go back to your little party!” He starts to walk down the hallway again hearing her heels click behind him on the marble floor, and spins around to face her, rage and tears in his eyes.

“Will you stop following me? Go!” Drake waves the Crown Royal bottle clutched in his hand at her and quips “I’m fine.”

Something in Kiara snaps, her decorum vanishes and she pushes Drake against the wall. Bewildered he stays put, watching the woman with wide eyes.

“Kiara---“

“Why won’t you just let me in? You don’t want to be with me? I get that but I can be a friend to you Drake! And by the looks of it you need one today.”  She quickly realizes her actions, and recoils . “I’m…I’m so sorry, Drake. I don’t know what got into me.  I—“ her voice stammers for a moment before she begins to walk away.

“Wait…” Drake calls out to her, with an exacerbated sigh slowly walking towards her. “Ok friend how about you help me finish off this bottle.”

A smile reaches her eyes. At least I can make her smile. “Tres bon! Let's take a walk."

They turn down another hallway, the music from the party slowly subsiding.

Breakfast was silent, Hana and Maxwell the only two making conversation at the extra-long dining table. Riley and Drake sat quietly, a chair between them. They hadn’t spoken about last night or about the fact that their bed wasn’t slept in by either of them.

“So you know…” Maxwell’s mouth full of pastries as he speaks to Hana. “There’s a rumor going around that someone had a little too much fun last night.”

“What do you mean? We all had fun.” Hana’s innocent eyes scan over her friends. Riley stares into her untouched plate. Drake leans back into his chair rubbing his temples ferociously. The two look guilty as sin. “What cannot be fun about a surprise party?”

“He means someone was having sex last night.” Madeline interjects. Liam chokes on his orange juice hearing the boastful statement. “So who was it. It had to be someone at this table. My bet is on the lovely couple.” She points her glass at the two a sinful smile on her lips. “You two have been screwing all through the tour. And don’t think I don’t know what you lust birds were doing at my estate either” She chuckles.

“Kiara and Olivia aren’t here maybe it was them.” Riley seethes, giving Liam a quick pleading glance before returning her stare at her plate. She didn’t look at Drake. Not once.

“Nope. The maid said that it was defiantly a man and a woman." Maxwell begins,  "She said the two were in the heated throws of passion pelvis to pelvis consumed in the friction of ecstasy. That their cries of erotica could have filled the whole estate.” He looks at his friends who all stare at him. “That was a direct quote.”

“Maxwell you should really stop talking to the help. My room is right by the vacant wing and I didn’t hear a thing.” Olivia takes a seat at the table.  She takes a bagel smearing it with cream cheese. “Let's talk about something of actual importance, than some rumor that’s clearly a lie. I just got a call from Gynaika they would like to do an interview with me.”

“The Greek Women’s magazine?” Hana asks in awe, mouth agape.

“The very one. It’s going to be a “Women to Watch” issue.” Olivia states matter of factly, taking a large bite out of the bagel cream cheese caught on the side of her mouth. She has a smile on her face that fills her eyes. Liam sees the cream and hands her a napkin chuckling at the sight.

“Congratulations Olivia.” He tells her everyone at the table following suit.

“That’s really great, Olivia.” Riley tries to fake the smile but quickly gives up.

The gang bombarded Olivia with questions on her interview, no one but Riley heard the low husky voice “Riley, we need to talk about last night.” Drake’s eyes are dark and when the two finally look at each other they both knew this talk will not end favorably.

“You are soooooo pretty!  You know that? Do you know how pretty your almond shaped eyes are, Liam?” Riley squeals as she stumbles down the hallway. The party had been great. Except for one thing. There was one thing in the back of her mind that just wouldn’t let her be happy. He had a smile that haunted her, a smell that would make her weak at the knees and a voice that would send chills through her. Drake wasn’t around but his memory lingered .

“Riley I don’t think you will need that. You may have had your fill.” Liam points to the Crown Royal bottle in her hand. He blushes from her compliment no one had ever called him “pretty” before.

“Oh pish posh hog wash! Kiara had like 30 of these damn bottles on the table. She can do without one I think.” She puts the container to her face watching the brown liquid swirl like gold in a jar. “I’m going to give this to Drake …to apologize for being a self-centered ass.”

“Hey! I won’t let you say such things.” Liam gives her his best sober look yet he bobs on his feet slightly, “Today is your birthday and you should have fun! You, my lady are not an ass…I mean you have an ass… a beautiful ass but you have other things too.” He stands tall as if he gave the best speech of his royal career.

Riley giggles hysterically “The king of Cordonia just said a bad word. Quick someone alert the council!” She screams.

“Shhh…” his finger to his lips “you can’t tell anyone my secret… but you know sometimes I say fuck when no one is listening.”  He quickly covers his mouth as if to stop the word from spewing out.

“Oh I have the most brilliant beyond brilliant idea. Come with me.” She grabs his arm dragging him down the hall.

“Where are we going?” He giggles

“To find a balcony I want to scream profanities at the top of my lunges! And you are going to do it with me.”

“Wait…what am I doing?” she doesn’t answers as she continues to pull him along with very little effort. If only she knew he would follow her through the gates of hell if she asked him to.

Liam's fingers drummed against the wooden desk. He assumed that given the attack a council meeting would be imminent. What he was surprised by was how few members made the drive to meet him. Many of whom were on the tour but after the fire began to have illnesses or deaths in the family. Whatever reasons they gave Liam knew they were fabricated. His council was depleting and that meant his nobles were abandoning him. There were 4 men staring back at him. 4 out of 25.

"So I guess this meeting will be a short one." Liam tries to chuckle through his words but catches a lump in his throat and coughs instead.

"Your Majesty, we first wanted to say you gave an excellent speech at Apple Wood. News reports are favoring you as quick and empathetic to your citizens."

"Why thank you, Lord Scribes. I do feel that Duchess Riley and I..."

"There is the matter with Duchess Riley that we would like to discuss, Sire?" Colonial Martian states.

Liam straightens in his chair "Oh...and what matter would that be?"

 "Well if the incident like last week gives us any indication as to how the duchess reacts under pressure, we just don't feel that she is capable of being a representative for our court."

"She seemed a bit checked out, your highness." Scribes interjects.

Liam's jaw tightens as his knee begins to bump underneath the desk. "So you want me to send her away because she made one ill-timed joke?" His knee was noisily beating against the desk now. He pushes his chair back to stop the noise but his leg still moves.

"Oh goodness no Your Highness. We don't want her to leave. The reason we are having this tour is for her wedding. But we do feel that maybe she shouldn't be the woman by your side when you give your speeches to the public."

With a heavy sigh the king looks between his councilmen. "And who do you think should?"

Lord Scribes slides over the morning paper. The front page picture shows Liam and Olivia standing side by side smiling to the cheering crowd. A pained grunt comes from him as he stares at the paper.

"So you want me to host public events with Oli--Duchess Olivia? Wasn’t it just a month ago you all were ready to throw her in the dungeon for the attacks? Now she gives one good speech and you’re ready to make her the face of Cordonia." His words came out more critical than he intended. He was proud of Olivia for stepping up and inspiring the citizens but he had put a lot into Riley playing that role. She could do it. All she needed was guidance he was sure of it.

"Not at all Your Majesty. We figure the more attention you give her the easier we can catch her and given our lack in attendance of nobles we need as much positive publicity as we can get. We have to face facts Olivia is a virus!"

Liam raises his eyebrows. "She's a what?"

"He means she has gone viral." Colonial Martian states, narrowing his eyes at the old man before turning back to his monarch. "In nearly a week her speech has almost a million views. She’s starting to become a sensation not just locally but internationally as well. Some U.S. press are even buzzing about her.”

The rest of the meeting was a complete blur. As charts and graphs were presented in to him, his thoughts were focused on last night. On how perfect it actually felt to be with her. But there was just so much in between them so many things that have yet to be said or understood. She was in love with another man and probably had been for a long time. Would it be worth it to pursue her if it meant he would never have all of her. That night in New York, standing on his knees the most vulnerable her has ever been in his whole life just to be told that another man was more important. Could he do that to himself again?

The meeting ended and his questions still had no answer. As he turns the corner he bumps straight into Riley.

"Oh..I'm so sorry Riley. I guess I didn't see you there my heads been everywhere lately."

"It's fine Liam. Actually I was trying to find you. Drake...he wants to talk about last night. I have been dodging him till I could speak with you." She shifts in her stance checking around the corner to see if anyone is in earshot. "Last night was a mistake right?" She runs her fingers through her coils. "I love Drake and I don't know how I will explain it to him but--"

"Riley, you were pretty sloshed ." He takes her hand his soft eyes glance into her guilty ones. "Nothing happened."

"Yeah you can say that but we both know...." She stammers a bit as he tries to sooth her.

"Hey look at me the only two people that know about last night are me and you and if anyone asks me, nothing happened. You left the party a little too tipsy so I took you to your room. End of story."

Liam gives her his diplomatic smile the one that doesn't quite reach his eyes. It does the trick though as he hears Riley sigh in relief.

"I guess I should go find him." He holds onto her hands a few seconds longer before letting her go. And she is off to find the man she loves, not even bothering to say good bye.

"Kiara where are we?" Drake stumbles down the dim lightened hallway.The crown royal bottle was half empty by now and Kiara had shown him pretty much the whole estate. This side was different, it seemed pretty abandoned.

"Well since everyone pretty much bailed on the unity tour this whole wing is vacant. I figured that if you were going to cry on my shoulder for the rest of the night we should probably do it somewhere where no one could see you cry" She gives him a sly smirk opening one of the doors and cuts on a light. "This is the Billiard room... I thought you might like it."

Drake looks around the wood paneled room." It's nice Kiara but I just wanted to talk... maybe I should go back. I mean I acted like a cave man back there. It's her birthday and I should have just let her have her day. I need to go back.. to apologize." 

Drake turns towards the door but hears the ivory pool balls click together on the table and it grabs his attention to Kiara leaning over the table, her cleavage peaks from her shirt ass she does. Drake cant help but to moan slightly at the sight. In the right lighting, and with whiskey goggles she could be a dead ringer for Riley.

"Le jeux sont fait, Drake. I think what you need is a beak. She hands him  the pool stick. How abut I play you. I win you have to scream to the whole world that I beat you in pool." She points to the window nearest them, there's a large balcony waiting.

"What if I when?" He cocks a drunken smile to her as she steps a little closer to him, her eyes scanning his body. "Well that depends..." She says in a low wanting voice, she's only an inch away from him when she adds. "What do you want?"

Tag List:  If you want to be on the tag list permanently (this one is randomly selected with some permanent in as well)  let me know. If you DO NOT want to be tagged ever just send me a message I will not be upset.

@walkerismychoice@darley1101@speedyoperarascalparty@mfackenthal @jadedpixiescribbles@boneandfur @andy-loves-corgis   @blackcatkita@missevabean@snyggflicka@stopforamoment @agent-zephyrkah @endlessly-searching-for-you  @indiacater@tmarie82@mynameiskaylabella @umccall71 @hopefulmoonobject @choices97

@liam-rhys@viktoriapetit@alicars @jlouise88@mrsdrakewalkerblog@walkerisbae@butindeed@greyeyedsmile14 @barbaravalentino @mymandrake@client327 @confessionsofabrokegirl

#the royal romance #king liam #the true kings #chapter 12 #mc x drake #trr olivia #choices fanfiction #trr maxwell #playchoices

[alippy711]

Sweetest Downfall-Ch.5

Chapter Five: Tease

“Well don’t you look cozy” I pulled my head from the couch watching Shay walk through the door, work bag slung across her shoulder and a takeout bag in her hand.

“I am cozy as fuck; it was a long ass week” I adjusted the blanket I was wrapped in and shifted on the couch making room for her.

“Fucking preach, girl” She let out an exaggerated breath dropping her bags on the counter.

“You’re home late” I noted looking over at the clock, which read 9pm.

“Some intern fucked something up on the project im working on and I ended up having to stay and show the kid what they did wrong and then fix it.” I let out a low whistle as she shook her head.

“How was the last day of the first week?” She asked making her way over to the couch plopping down next to me with her Chinese take-out.

“Good. I think I have like half the kids names down and I seem to be on the same page with my department. Im making some teacher friends, so all in all it was a good week” I smiled briefly recapping my first week of work.

“That’s great im glad you’re fitting in. And how’s coffee house hottie?” she nudged me with her elbow, mouth full of noodles, and I rolled my eyes.

“Would you stop calling him that? It’s been weeks since we started hanging out”

“Nope. Not until I meet him, which will happen when?” I turned away from the glare she sent me looking back at the TV. It wasn’t that I was keeping Andre from Shay but we were both so busy that things hadn’t lined up for them to meet.

“How about brunch on Sunday?” A huge smile spread across her lips and I knew we had a deal.

“Im fucking in on brunch.” I knew her well. “What are your plans for tomorrow?”

“Andre and I are doing the tourist thing and going to a few of the memorials.” I couldn’t help the smile that spread easily on my lips anytime I mentioned him.

“Aww that’s cute. Then you’re gonna fuck, right?” I scoffed at her question but she held my gaze.

“Christ, would you let me take my time?” My body warmed at the idea and looked away trying to hide my reaction from her.

“No. Just fuck him and get going, you’ve made the poor kid wait long enough.” I shook my head smacking her lightly on the arm while she laughed at my flustered appearance.

##

“This big pool looking thing is called the reflective pool… I guess you’re supposed to reflect on shit. The huge thing behind you is the Lincoln Memorial where there’s a really big statue of President Abe Lincoln and he’s buried there.” I tried to stifle my laugh as I watched Andre turn from one monument to the next waving his hands around using his best tour guide voice.

“Andre, I have two history degrees I know all of this, and Lincoln is buried in Springfield Illinois where he was born, but I appreciate you trying.” I gave him a pat on the arm as he set his eyes on mine lips pursed as he thought.

“Well did you know Lincoln freed the slaves?” I couldn’t hide my laugh this time as I tilted my head back letting out a deep laugh while Andre watched with disapproval.

“Yes I knew that, but he didn’t free them all. The Emancipation Proclamation was a military policy so it didn’t apply to allslaves throughout the nation.” He rolled his eyes and I took hold of his hand pulling him towards the steps leading to the memorial.

“You’re just soosmart, huh?” I stole a look over my shoulder and smirked.

“I am. The Civil War happens to be one of my favorite times in history so I know a lot about it. Im also from this country, but I bet you know everything about Sweden.” I stopped walking just before the first steps feeling his arms come around my waist pulling my back against his chest.

“Have I told you how sexy it is when you go all teacher on me?” I opened my mouth to make a sarcastic remark but my words were lost when his lips connected with my neck dragging them along my exposed skin. I was so caught up in the feel of him It was easy to forget where we were.

“Andre…” He heard the warning in my tone while I tried to pull away, only making him hold on tighter. He hummed against my skin and I squeezed my hands into fists trying to fight the urge to let the feel of him consume me.

“We are very much in public right now.” I managed to wiggle free enough allowing me to turn in his arms.

“We don’t have to be in public.” One corner of his mouth turned up in a mischievous grin sending a shiver down my spine. His eyes were filled with lust and it took everything in me to not drag him back to my car that moment. I rose up on my toes giving him a quick kiss while I reached around his head twisting his hat forward. He frowned, dropping his hands from my waist, as expected, and I made my escape bolting up the memorial stairs laughing when I heard him cursing in Swedish from behind me.

“You are such a tease.” We were both panting by the time we reached the top of the stairs.

“I’ll remind you that later” I retorted watching his eyes go wide and I shot him a wink before walking further into the memorial. I let my eyes wander before falling on the statue of Lincoln taking in his stature.

“Pretty cool, huh?” I looked up at Andre and smiled.

“It really is, I love coming here” He took my hand in his and I laid my head on his arm with a sigh.

“You want to head back to my place in a little?”

“Sounds like a plan, hotshot” He rolled his eyes at his now permanent nickname and I chuckled.

##

It had been two weeks since Andre and I had our first date and since then everything had been…incredible and intense. We went out a few more times and I felt myself falling hard and fast but he made it too easy. He always kept me laughing and Im confident there was never a moment I wasn’t smiling. He was different from most guys I dated before he was so intuitive and was always keyed into what I was saying.  We connected so easily making me feel like we had known each other for years.

“Lena?” His voice pulled me from my thoughts and the assignment on my MacBook and Iturned my attention to where he stood in the kitchen holding a stack of menus in his hand.

“Im sorry, what did you say?” I asked giving him an apologetic smile.

“Its ok, I asked if you wanted to order in tonight?”

“Sounds good to me. Im just finishing my lesson for next week then im all yours” I saw a smirk play at the corners of his lips knowing exactly he took that comment.

“Any preference?” He asked looking over the menus

“Anything but pizza, im realizing D.C. can’t hold a candle to Boston pizza” He had a look on his face that I couldn’t figure out, but I knew it probably meant trouble.

Forty-five minutes later I was eating pizza as Andre took my statement as a challenge taking it upon himself to order what he swore was the best pizza in D.C.

“So what do you think?” His eyes were glued to me watching as I took my first few bites.  I held a neutral look on my face making him wait in anticipation.

“Definitely the best I’ve had since I got here. Not bad Burky, not bad” He gave a cocky grin leaning in for a quick kiss.

“Are you done lesson planning?” He eyed my still open Mac and I gave the document a once over deeming it sufficient before saving it and powering down.

“Now I am”

“And your all mine?” He asked with a raise of his brow.

“All yours, now find a movie while I finish eating.” He laughed, shaking his head while he pulled up Amazon video. We settled on Wonder Woman since Andre had yet to see it and I was more than happy to watch again. I could feel a shift the longer the movie went on, especially from Andre. He pushed the boundary of his usually innocent touching as his hand on my hip crept under my shirt while his fingers slid lightly across my skin warming every inch he touched. By the time the movie was over he had me keyed up with sexual tension.

Andre turned off the TV once the movie ended and I lifted my head from his chest meeting his eyes reaching out to tuck a stray piece of hair behind my ear before letting his hand cup my cheek. I scooted closer letting him capture my lips with his feeling the goosebumps break out across my body as he ran a hand down my arm. My fingers went through his hair before settling at the nape of his neck as he kissed me harder, sucking my bottom lip between his teeth. I moaned into his mouth gripping his hair tighter prompting him to bite down lightly on my lip sending me into a frenzy. He snaked an arm around my waist shifting underneath me expertly flipping us so I was underneath him with his body covering mine.

The fire in his eyes had my heart racing as I reached out wrapping my hands around his neck pulling him back down for a kiss. Andre kept a hand on my hip, his fingers slowly inching their way under my shirt heating the skin he touched. He pulled his lips from mine and I whimpered at the absence feeling him smile against my skin as his lips kissed along my jaw down my neck and I tilted my head giving him better access. He continued to suck at the skin between my neck and collarbone eliciting a small moan as my blush spread down my chest while I threaded my fingers in his hair. I could feel the tension in my body building quickly as he kissed down my chest, his lips finally finding bare skin as he pushed my shirt up. I sat up pulling my shirt over my head unhooking my bra too impatient to wait as his eyes drank me in sending my stomach into a knot of nerves.

“Your turn” I said, eyeing his still shirt clad chest.

He flashed a devilish grin but reached behind his head pulling his shirt off in one swift movement. I let out an audible groan, clearly I couldn’t control my noises with him, taking in his toned stomach stretching out my hands to his shoulders letting them slowly drift down his chest and over his stomach reveling in the way his muscles constricted under my touch. Andre grabbed my wrists as I was about to slip a hand under the waistband of his pants and I frowned up at him with a pout while he smiled down at me.

“Patience Älskling” I rolled my eyes at his words and he smirked.

He returned to peppering kisses to my chest and down my stomach stopping at the waistband of my jeans looking up for the green light, which I gave. I watched while he unbuttoned my jeans sliding the zipper down while I lifted my hips for him as he inched them over my hips and down my legs agonizingly slow.

“Andre” His eyes shot up to me and I smirked, “Stop being a tease”

#andre burakovsky #andre burakovsky imagine #andre burakovsky fic #hockey fic #hockey imagine #hockey rpf #nhl imagine #nhl fic #nhl rpf #washington capitals #sweetest downfall fic

[mazecraft]

Rachel in the Dark Room Ep 8

Warning:

Spoilers for Life is Strange and Life is Strange: Before the Storm.

Trigger Warning:

This fanfic will have disturbing images, including scenes of kidnapping, date rape, drug use, violence, sexual content and adult language. Recommended for mature audiences and viewer discretion is advised.

Previously: Rachel watched Chloe for months grieving her loss and diligently working to find her but without much success. That search leads her to being drugged by Nathan Prescott in his dormitory room prompting Rachel to reach through the barrier into the world of the living to interfere. But as she is about to find out, even in the afterlife, actions have consequences…

Rachel’s awareness of Chloe and the Blackwell dormitories dissolved and she found herself back in the strange forest clearing with the witches. Butterfly fluttered away from Rachel’s forehead and resumed her humanoid shape as Rachel slumped to the ground in exhaustion. Whatever she had done to help Chloe had taken almost every bit of strength she had. It seemed to have been enough, but just barely! Oh Chloe, please be ok wherever you are, Rachel thought fervently.

All the witches stood around her in a circle staring at her, their faces lit by the eerie golden glow of the hourglass with the spiral embossed on the top. Raven’s stillness and glittering eyes shone with disapproval. Doe’s wide eyes looked shocked and concerned. Only Butterfly’s face seemed impassive and unaffected by what Rachel had done. But in that moment, they all looked unknowable and alien to her. Their humanoid forms only made them seem more foreign and unusual.

Each of them was surrounded by a globe of ambient light cast by the strange wiry filaments of light. As she stared at them it dawned on her that their physical appearances whether in humanoid or animal forms were merely projections, like a hologram. The filaments of light were their true forms. The orbs of light with strings of light inside them shifted, reached, and swirled with their movements. What were these creatures? But then she remembered she had seen and used similar lines of light to help Chloe. Did they do something to her, make her into some kind of freak?

She pushed herself up and sat with her knees pulled up in front of her and put her hand to her head. Wait a minute, she thought. She felt so tired and couldn’t think straight. Hadn’t she seen similar orbs of light around the people she observed in Arcadia Bay, too? What the hell did this all mean? Why did some people seem to have more strands of light than others? And why was the darkness trying to consume it? All these thoughts swarmed through her head in only a few moments time as the witches stared at her, as if deciding whether to banish her or condemn her to death.

Doe looked at Raven. She has reached through the barrier unaided.

Raven glanced at Rachel and then back at Doe. Was the breach close enough?

Rachel scowled. You guys know I can hear what you are thinking, right?

Butterfly smiled at the look of shock on the other witches faces. But Raven turned on Rachel.

“You keep your thoughts to yourself and your mouth shut! No Personality in this realm is meant to enter the world of the living unless specifically called for by name. You have broken a tenet that has bound us for thousands of human years!”

“Give over sister,” said Butterfly. “Rachel never gave any oaths and is not as bound as we are.”

“That may be true,” said Doe. “But she will call the enemy’s attention to us. That breach will not go unnoticed and it will want an explanation and exact punishment. We may have to sacrifice some of Our Selves to atone.”

As if on cue, the air on the edge of the clearing suddenly tore open, ripping reality apart violently, like a wound that Rachel felt inside her own mind. It wasn’t darkness inside that wound. Even darkness had a substance to it. The wound just opened up into absolute nothingness. As she stared at it, the whole world seemed to turn upside down, and she felt herself falling toward it even as she sat motionless and afraid. She could feel her own light like a mist floating away from her toward the void and with it any sense of happiness, joy, or hope she had ever felt. She knew in a matter of moments she would be lost forever. She had learned what despair felt like when she was in the dark room, but this feeling made that seem like the happiest times of her life.

Fool girl! Raven said in her mind. Look away!

Rachel forced her eyes shut and pushed her face against her legs so that her knees shielded her from the gaping hole in reality in front of her. The sense of vertigo diminished and she no longer felt like she was being drained. She took a deep breath but with the despair gone, fear took over. Her heart was racing and her breathing came in shorter and shorter breaths. The full on panic attack made her feel like she was going to die, again, or something worse. Take deep slow breaths, like you are pretending to be asleep, she heard Doe saying in her mind. It took Rachel the next several minutes to slow her breathing down and her whole body was shaking uncontrollably no matter how hard she tried to master it.

A wheezing voice that seemed to be coming from everywhere at once felt like it was touching her entire body, like a skinsuit made out of terror. It spoke into the clearing from the hole in reality. YOU HAVE TRESPASSED AND BROKEN YOUR OATHS. HOW?! The voice sounded like it was in a state of constant inhalation, its wheezing sound made by the rush of air into the gap at the end of the clearing. Rachel knew that if she had to listen to that sound for long she would go mad.

Butterfly stepped forward. “It was my doing. I am a liar and my oath has never bound me. I guess I just got sloppy and you have finally found me out. I always knew this day would come.” Rachel peeked at Butterfly just in time to see her look up and stare directly at the void. “I will accept your punishment.” Rachel had seen enough bad acting to know when something sounded hollow and insincere. Did she really think this thing would believe her?

Suddenly a roiling cloud of darkness belched out of the void like a pyroclastic explosion enveloping Butterfly and obscuring her completely. Rachel tried to stand up, not sure if to run away or try to stop it from happening, but the ground was rolling and turning underneath her in every direction all at once. She tried to scream but her breath, and her voice were sucked into the darkness. It had only been a few seconds when suddenly the cloud of darkness was sucked back into the void. Rachel was shocked to see Butterfly was still standing there surrounded by her orb of light, her eyes shining brightly in teal, and the lines of light arcing all around her to the edge of her own aura.

YOU ARE A LIAR. YOU HAVE NOT BROKEN YOUR OATH! HOW WAS THE BREACH MADE?

Rachel’s brows furrowed, but at least she could breathe again. Still trembling in fear, she stared at the void through her hair. “Come what may, time and the hour run through the roughest day.” Rachel quoted from Macbeth. Doe looked over at her in surprise and raised a hand in warning, but before she could say anything, Rachel continued, her voice quivering. “It was me, I did it.” Then she said softly to herself: “All our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death!”

WELL AT LEAST WE BOTH AGREE THAT YOU ARE A FOOL.

The cloud of darkness tentatively spilled from the void and approached Rachel, surrounding her and blotting out everything but the sound of the void. The voice felt like maggots crawling all through her hair and caressing her face, making her cringe but there was nowhere to go. It was all around her.

ALL YOUR HOPES AND DREAMS CAME TO NOTHING AND HERE YOU DITHER IN FUTILITY. DO YOU NOT SEE NOW THAT EXISTENCE IS A MISTAKE? EMBRACE NOTHINGNESS AND HELP BRING IT TO AN END. I WILL GET WHAT I WANT ONE WAY OR ANOTHER. WHY PROLONG YOUR SUFFERING? ENTROPY IS THE TRAJECTORY OF EVERY FUTURE. THE STARS ARE DEAD. YOU DON’T HAVE TO FEEL THE PAIN OF DISINTEGRATION. JUST GIVE UP AND DISSOLVE INTO THE NOTHINGNESS…

Rachel felt a sense of déjà vu, remembering hearing something like these words in her head before. She felt her lifeforce siphoning out of her in one prolonged moment of nauseating hopelessness. A seed of anger at everything it had taken from her, all the tortures that it had inflicted on her already, and in her anger, she found a seed of strength. Anger wasn’t possible when despair was all that was left. So, she clung to her anger and pushed back against the darkness.

“Feeling is not futile!” Rachel seethed. Her light sprung up around her and her life force arced like yellow lightning all around her. “I would rather live in my pain than give into your bullshit!”

SO BE IT! YOU GRANTED YOUR FRIEND A MOMENTARY REPRIEVE FROM ME BUT NOW YOUR PUNISHMENT WILL BE TO WATCH AS I FINISH RIPPING HER LIFE AWAY FROM HER IN A THOUSAND DIFFERENT CRUELTIES. THESE CREATURES HERE CANNOT HELP YOU, AND YOU ARE TOO WEAK TO STOP ME.  

THE LIFEFORCE OF CHLOE PRICE WILL BE MY ONLY LUST, UNTIL IT IS SATED AND SHE IS SO COMPLETELY DEVASTATED BY HER DESPAIR THAT THE EMPTINESS OF THE VOID WILL BE A MERCY. SHE WILL DIE KNOWING SHE IS ALONE AND UNLOVED. SHE WILL SUFFER EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED TO YOU AND MORE. AND YOU WILL SUFFER TO ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT IT IS YOUR FAULT. THEN WE WILL SEE HOW YOU LIKE YOUR PRECIOUS FEELINGS.

And with that, the cloud of darkness retreated into the void, and the wound in reality closed up returning the forest clearing back to normal. Rachel slumped to the ground and cried tears mixed with frustration and grief. What had she done? The witches ignoring her rushed over to the hourglass and stared into the falling sand that cast a golden light all around them. The spiral design on the wooden top of the hourglass briefly shone even brighter than the sand as the witches concentrated on it, and then moments later it dissipated and they turned toward Rachel. Doe had a look of pity in her eyes. Butterfly looked somber, and even Raven looked defeated.

“What…” Rachel stammered. “What have I done?”

“Chloe’s lifeforce is full of many strands making her an appealing target for the parasite which will use every situation around her to feed on her mercilessly until there is nothing of her left, Doe said. “Eventually her vitality will be so weakened that even if she cannot be overcome by the darkness, the parasite will contrive ways to kill her.”

“Your intervention has temporarily saved Chloe from the horrors of the Dark Room,” said Raven. “But you’ve set her on a multitude of possible trajectories, many of which lead to her death. In one possible reality, Nathan will kill her. In another, it is Frank. In some other realities she kills herself, once on purpose and once on accident. Either way, all of Chloe’s dogged attempts to find you will lead her down a darker and darker path of futile and frustrated attempts and more and more dangerous situations.”

“We can’t just let this happen,” Rachel said, wiping the tears from her face. She could still feel the parasite’s touch on her making her wish she could take a shower to cleanse herself. “There has to be something we can do!”

Butterfly and Doe look to Raven, who just shrugged. “We are bound in this pocket of reality. No one remembers our names to call upon us, and that is the only way that we can intercede. Only Dreamers summoning us through the barrier can protect us from the parasite’s wrath. This is the oath that we took, as binding to us as gravity or inertia in the denser realms, never knowing that someday it would be used to imprison us. I am sorry.”

The witches stood in a circle around her, silently staring at her. In a moment of self-loathing, Rachel suggests that maybe Chloe would have been better off altogether if she had never met her, since all her trouble surrounds the search for her.

“At this point even that reality will have been tainted by the parasite,” said Butterfly.

“Even if you guys can’t do anything, you have to know something, some way for me to stop this! Even if your oath won’t let you do anything yourselves, can’t you at least tell me what I can do?” Rachel pleaded. “I can’t let Chloe suffer because of my mistakes!”

“Would that you could have felt as strongly for her well-being when you were together,” said Doe sadly. Rachel looked up in shock at the hurtful words coming from Doe of all people. Doe, the compassionate one!

“It is too late for your friend,” said Raven cuttingly. “It would be better for you to never look toward Chloe Price again.” Her black beady eyes reflected pinpoints of yellow light, making her face seem cold and harsh. Of all the times she would want them to show her any sign of humanity, they were suddenly treating her like a pariah.

The utter apathy for Chloe the witches were showing was beyond Rachel’s understanding. Their strange mysterious eyes weren’t just inhuman, they were alien and pitiless. They had the audacity to make themselves sound so much nobler than the parasite, yet here they were clearly more worried about themselves! They were just going to do nothing while their supposed enemy wreaked havoc! Were they really willing to stand by and not even offer anything but excuses and stone-faced admonitions to give up!

But why should she expect any different? Hadn’t they done exactly that while she was tortured, abused, and ultimately murdered? Only showing up to watch as she went through hell…“SHE WILL SUFFER EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED TO YOU AND MORE…” Rachel’s seething frustration at them, and everything that had led up to this point burned inside of her. All the mistakes she had made, the atrocities visited upon her, were suddenly more horrifying when she imagined them being done to Chloe. She thought about all the people that had failed her and Chloe time and again. Each memory added fuel to the fire of her anger that was burning hot inside of her. A litany of memories and voices swirled around in Rachel’s mind as the seed of anger within her grew hotter and hotter. The voices of Nathan, Frank, Chloe, Victoria, Jefferson, her father, the witches, and hundreds more all created a cacophony of overlapping chaos.

“You’re just another skank ho! …I see the contempt in your face, whore…get the fuck out of my sight! …I’m not your friend… sick of your bullshit and this hellhole…goddamned right you’re out of luck…You’re wasting your time…She felt like she needed her, and never had she felt as blown off by her… Don’t miss out on the fun! Join the Vortex Club at the AMBER ALERT Party! Don’t GO MISSING the last party of the year…Why are they called ‘devil lights’?”…You don’t actually expect us to believe this bullshit, do you? ...It ain’t a fucking vacation…I think we could barter…something…for a lift…You’re…just playthings… entire lives…meaningless…You like this, don’t you bitch? ...You belong to me, whore! How stupid are you? Stop! Please don’t make me do this…She’s about to wake up! …I’ll get you a fresh vial right now…let me take your picture…Wouldn’t you love to dance for me again…You ungrateful bitch! …needlessly cruel…forcibly taken from her… only hear from her when she wants something… taking after her mother more and more…we both know…her plan to leave forever…a waste of taxpayer dollars…holed up somewhere with…degenerates…glad she was gone…She never belonged at Blackwell anyway… smug self-righteousness… talentless hack…why are you here? We did not summon you to this place…this one’s heart is volatile…dangerous…Dense as the stones of the earth and with half the sense. You have no right to be here. Leave! …punished…them for all eternity…mocking me in my pain! …No one deserves what happened to you…a parasite that feeds off of light and life…ancient…destructive force…immense pain and grief…Not that having you call me ‘daddy’ doesn’t give me a certain thrilling je ne sais quois…Oh Christ. You are pathetic, you know that? This is what death looks like…a poison in their air that they would never see until they were already choking on it… We are and always have been…nothingness…the stars are all dead…the abuses of the parasite…even you…will suffer the most…”

Her rage reached a crescendo and her field of vision was ringed in a blur of white hot anger. She looked up and realized that Raven was still talking to her, trying to convince her that the best thing for her would be to forget about Chloe forever, and not look in on the world again until everyone she had known were gone. Another overlapping memory of Raven drowned out her lecture. “Sorry, spilled milk. If you think you can pour yourself back into the bottle then don’t let me stop you…Hindsight is a bitch, eh?” Something inside of Rachel, whatever it was that had been containing her rage…snapped.

Everything seemed to happen all at once. Rachel thrust herself to her feet. Sensing danger, Raven jumped up into the air, her feathered cloak billowing as she transformed into her animal form. “Golgoth Erg Machaon!” Rachel heard herself yelling. “Délcoon Léarch!” A hot blue-green light sprang to life around Rachel, and filaments of light like strands made of steel cables shot out at Raven seizing her in midair. Rachel could feel her own will power stunning Raven with her ferocity. “You. Will. Not. Just. Let. Chloe. Suffer. And. Die!” Rachel seethed. Her face contorting with her anger, the bridge of her nose wrinkling tightly under her drawn down brow.

Unable to fly away, Raven shifted back into her human-like form and glared at Butterfly: “You! You did this! What have you done!”

Butterfly replied “I told you we could not carry on as we have.” She smiled. “Now as my ward would say, ‘Shit’s about to get hella fucked up.’” With that, she fluttered into the air and performed her cocoon disappearing act, leaving Doe and Raven with looks of shock on their faces.

Rachel didn’t know what she was doing, but she felt herself reaching through Raven and weaving their strands of light together, like a tapestry of light being made from two spools of different threads. She could feel Raven resisting her.  “If…you do this…thing, Chloe Price…will learn of your…dishonesty!” Raven’s voice cracked. Rachel pushed even harder against Raven’s resistance. “No…path before her…now…leads to that revelation…”

“I don’t care if she finds out and fucking hates me the rest of her life,” Rachel’s voice was tight with emotion. “So long as it’s a long life!” There was a brief pause, and then the tension between Rachel and Raven suddenly went slack, and she felt acquiescence. Raven and Rachel became one. As they merged, Rachel’s simple black t-shirt thickened and stretched around her forming into a black dress not unlike the outfit she wore as Prospera in the Tempest, but with a skirt instead of leggings. Rachel’s skirts and free flowing hair lifted heavily as if upon a breeze and she floated up into the air. Her red-auburn hair was streaked with black, and there were slashes of red in the black bodice, sleeves, and skirts. Her eyes glowed brightly yellow, her own inner light hued by her anger.

“No one that would bring harm to Chloe will be spared! I will tear them from the false safety of their beds! I will destroy every last one of these vile motherfuckers.” Rachel seethed. Switching to Raleigh’s “The Lie”, Rachel recited: “Go, Soul, the body’s guest upon a thankless arrant:” her voice resonated like an echo captured in a box as she continued. “Fear not to touch the ‘best’; the truth shall be thy warrant:” She managed to pack the words with as much scorn as she had left. “Go, since I needs must die, And give the world the lie.”

Rachel reached out intuitively with Raven’s and her own collective knowledge and lifeforce and seized the hourglass, without knowing why she was doing it or what would happen. Doe stared in terror back and forth between Rachel and the hourglass as if at headlights on the highway. The forest around them began to swirl slowly at first and then faster until the shapes and shadows stretched in a blur all around them. She saw the Doe staring in shocked terror as Rachel threw the hourglass into the maelstrom. The glass shattered and the glowing sand warped the spinning shadows before scattering into glittery particles all around them. Rachel’s mind couldn’t keep up with her intuitive awareness. But even through her anger, she knew that what she was doing would save Chloe from the parasite, and maybe even her life.

(To be continued…)

Mazecrafted © 2018

#life is strange #life is strange before the storm #rachel amber #chloe price #victoria chase #nathan prescott #mark jefferson #mysticism #dreams #madness

[maloleysweekender22]

Irresistible Illusion

The heart wants what it can’t have ~~~~~~~

*Y/N’s POV*

Have you ever had that feeling between lust and love?

That’s how I feel when I look at him.

Shawn Peter Raul Mendes.

My best friends fiancé and soon to be husband.

We met 4 summers ago before everything changed.

*4 years ago*

I was walking down the pebbled path along the beach.

The water washes off the sand that cling to my feet.

The summer breeze feels cool to the skin and my flows along the back.

“Hey you shouldn’t be alone” I hear a voice call out.

I continue walking ignoring the voice even though they are right it’s 2 am.

Their footsteps are heard right behind me.

“Didn’t you hear me?” He says

“I did, but I will ignore you. Since you are not my mother” I tell him waves spread onto my legs my dress becoming damp.

“Feisty I like it. Shawn but everyone calls me Shawnie” he tells me as I finally run around.

My breath catches in my throat.

“Umm… I’m Y/N?”

“Are you or are you not?” Shawn asks me.

“I am Y/N” I tell him as I admire him.

That night we spent talking to each other as the sun started to rise.

Before I had the chance to walk away he pulled me back flush against his chest.

His lips connected with mine in a slow kiss.

Shawn’s hands grabbed my waist gently before laying me down in the sand.

My hands went around his neck and pulled at his hair gently.

His hands wandered all over my body consuming my entire being.

Shawn took off his clothes and laid his shirt down vertically.

He lifted me up and placed me on top of his shirt. Shawn took off my clothes and spread light kisses all over my body.

He entered me causing a low whimper to fall from my mouth.

His movements weren’t rushed they were slow and gentle, caring almost as if he knew me more than he let on.

Shawn made feel amazing that day and the days to follow.

That wasn’t our only encounter, for we got to know each other more that summer.

Summer ended and we were about to be apart.

Before I went back home he pulled me towards him.

“I never told anyone this besides my family. You are the only girl I’ve felt this for. I love you, Y/N! I truly do” he kisses my lips with so much passion.

As we pulled away I breathed in his scent one more.

“And I love you, Shawn Peter Raul Mendes” I told giving him a brief kiss as I got in my car.

“Until we see again” he told me waving as I reversed out of the parking lot

****** Little did I know we would be seeing each other a year later.

My friend told me she had someone I should meet.

In came Shawn through my apartment door his head down before lifting it up.

Our eyes widen as we see each other.

“Y/N I would like you to meet my boyfriend Shawn” Alex says pointing to Shawn and giving him a kiss on the lips.

My eyes cast down wards as she kisses him on the lips.

“Ok” is all I say before telling her I had a date to go to and she left my apartment. *******

Shawn would come by everyday trying to make me understand the circumstances.

I wouldn’t hear him out as my heart broke every time I saw them together.

He was my first love and I couldn’t forget him no matter how hard I tried. ******

Weeks passed and I finally let him in.

That night we made love the same love we made a the beach.

He said he loved me with all his heart, but his words in the morning showed otherwise.

“This was a mistake Y/N”

He left me again and this time I couldn’t be repaired. ***** Weeks went by were I avoided him at all costs, but how can you continue to avoid someone when they are marrying your best friend.

An invitation came to my apartment in a beige envelope.

Opening my heart broke more and it shattered to a million pieces.

How can I live knowing he is the father of my child.

A week passed after that night and I found out I was pregnant.

I cried over and over again *******

That’s how I’m here at their reception dinner.

My eyes should no emotion as I heard people talking.

People mingled with them and talked about their future together.

Tears ran down my face as I looked at them.

During the night I could feel Shawn’s eyes on me as I talked to Geoff and Andrew.

We laughed a little during the night, but when it came down to their speeches I ran out as fast as I could.

My feet were a bit swollen, but not much.

I’m outside in the pouring rain my makeup smearing all over my face, for my baby bump was not that visible.

Foot steps were heard echoing down the pavement as I continued to walk.

“Y/N please stop” Shawn yelled as I continued to walk.

“Y/N!” Shawn finally grabbed my hand and pulled me close.

I pushed him away and continued to walk.

“Stop I’m begging you! You’re hurting me Y/N” Shawn says a few steps behind me.

I turn around so fast I get dizzy.

“I’m hurting you, Shawn? I think you got it the other way around! You’re hurting me and you don’t give two fucks about it! I waited for a call anything, but I guess you were to busy finding your new fling! Did that night mean anything to you? Huh did it?” I yell at him as a choked sob leaves my mouth.

“Of course it did! Don’t you see I care about you to much to let you go” he says reaching out for me.

“Clearly you don’t! Your are marrying my best friend and the father of my child Shawn! I can’t look at you let alone know you are a temptation a bad one! I love you, but your heart belongs to someone else!” My body shakes as sobs leave my lips after uttering those words.

“I love you and our baby! I’ve tried to break it off god damn it! My speech tonight was going to break her heart. I want to be happy, but happy isn’t anywhere near her. My heart is happy with you and nothing can change that! I felt good her never truly happy, not like with you. I tried to forget about you thinking you already moved on…. I was so wrong. Every time is see you my heart lights up with millions of sparks with I don’t get that way. I proposed to her thinking you hated me with all your heart. That night we made love we created a child the only thing I want to experience with you. I love you, Y/N!” His lips attach to mine in a slow kiss.

We don’t break apart even though we here footsteps.

“Shawn? Y/N?” When we pull away Alex is standing right beside us.

Tears roll down her face as she sees Shawn and I.

“I’m sorry ” I tell her pulling away from Shawn, but his grip doesn’t loosen.

“Why? My best friend why?” She asks Shawn.

“I love her not you. I tried breaking it off with you when I saw Y/N again. You always changed the subject since you were going out. You had somebody else on your bed when I was there. I can’t ask for your forgiveness since I now you won’t forgive me.”

“I knew you love her since I introduced her to you. I had to get rid of the feeling, but I also fell for someone else. I’m sorry Shawn , but I can’t marry you and you can’t marry me knowing we love someone else” Alex leaves walking back into the restaurant.

“Why? Didn’t You tell me she had someone else?” I ask him pulling away from him.

“Because I loved you and I knew how she felt. We played our minds into thinking we were meant for each other when in reality my other half was standing next to her. I made a mistake, but my heart wants you, no one else. Please tell me you feel the same way, Y/N” I say nothing and connect our lips together.

This is my happy place.

#shawn mendes imagines #shawn mendes #shawn mendes smut #shawn mendes photos #shawn smut #shawn peter raul mendes imagines #shawn peter raul mendes smut #shawn peter raul mendes #shawn mendes blurb #illuminate #illuminate tour #bad reputation #honest #treat you better

[crazy8man-blog]

Crazy 8 (chapter 03)

My life is falling apart as I write this and I will let you know that this might be the last few days of my life. The horrible truth is that Sally Pickles was stolen from me by the church I'd mentioned and if I can't get her back I have no reason to not go for the unthinkable ounce slam, that this hell might finally find peace, whether or not there is a God and if there is, why did He punish me so harshly for a crime I don't even remember.

Philip is gone. His existence ended on February 19th, 4 days after I finally broke down and came to grips with the reality of who and why he was. Much of which came about when someone stumbled across a ruin.

The lab had long been abandoned, chemically destroyed, except the laptop. The fucking laptop got left behind! They  had found it and they had recovered every fucking crumb of data on it.

To give you an idea, the Sippie thing was on that hard drive. He never took into account that he had worn a fucking mask. We all wear a fucking mask! So it was a mother fucking skull fuck! He could no longer go on.

As my year was going, I had a Jesus freak neighbor who was making me lose my fucking mind. This son of a bitch wouldn't keep his fucking mouth shut! Having to wake up every morning to this psycho bastard begging Christ to heal me had me over the edge and it had caused an inner turmoil between Philip, still in Florida and me, now in the Bronx.

The night before Philip went away my only escape,  I had gone to a sex party behind his back. It had led my mind to a place I'd never known before and I had no idea what to do .This  I ended up making a mistake I might regret forever.

Like I said, Philip and I  had a conflict. Philip wanted me to just ignore him but it's fucking impossible to ignore someone yelling through paper thin walls at you at the top of their lungs.

My last words to the love of my life were "Ignore him? Like this?" and I hung up on him and blocked him. But I swear I never meant to hurt my baby.

I had seen a guy at that sex party and he had consumed my thoughts. We spoke only, a few words to each other and then we hooked up.  He had entered the place in my heart where no living soul had  ever been. His name was Ivan. He was everything I wanted Philip to be.

There, lost somewhere between lust  and hard core fucking Philip tried to reach out to me but I wasn't there! Oh my God! I wasn't there for him and he'd always been there for me just as I'd always talked him through his nightmares! I let him down and now he's dead and it's my fault.

To compound matters, my neighbor pulled a knife on me one Sunday afternoon as I was doing laundry and the cops were called. In the end, because they could not see the knife on the camera I was arrested and charged with filling a false report by the ultra transgenderphobia 42nd precinct of the N.Y.P.D.

They locked me in a cell with a toilet that wouldn't flush and had no water in it after several people had shit in it. It was fucking horrible. On top of that they marched prisoner after prisoner to my cell threatening to put them in with "The freak."

A few weeks later I saw him again Ivan, Ivan Dudnik. We ran into each other on a Friday and spent the most incredible weekend together. Then on Sunday, as we marched in pride he asked me to marry him.

It was God fucking dammed crazy. But there we were the next morning at city hall getting married.

I'll talk more about Ivan later on, so fucking much more. But he did walk out on me 17 days later for a woman, the bitch, yep, you guessed it, Tina.

Now, as we go through what lawyers are calling the Armageddon divorce, Ivan has made allot of false accusations against me and I ended up having to spend 3 days in jail trying to clear my name. In the process Sally Pickles was to have been babysat by a church that stole her and gave her to a family within the church.

I will know within the coming 48 hours if I will get her back.

On top of all of this, as I ride the 3 train home right now to my shelter in Brooklyn, I do so mourning Steven, a guy I had just begun seeing. The bitch took him tonight.

She took Philip, she took Ivan and now she has taken Steven. Needless to say, about the only thing I'm holding on to is the hope that I will be with Sally Pickles before the weekend. If not, the bitch can have one more.

Life is just too fucking horrible right now. It's like trying to drink sour milk when you're blasted ass drunk off your rocker. All you wanna do is puke your life out.

I have to argue though. I love Crystal Meth and I live to slam 8 balls.

so I guess you wanna hear about it, the fucking crazy 8 as I alone know it. And that's ok just don't fucking pretend like you don't wanna know.

When I do it I have to be in a place where I can freak the holy fuck out for at least 3 days, out of the earshot of any good fucking Samaritans. Because there's nothing worse than having some dickhead worry about you when you are in the middle of an unstoppable constant orgasm. And that's what happens. As soon as the shit pours into my veins I start shaking and my dick starts shooting com like I was pissing it. I end up with mouths full and I make some fucking demon possessed noises. Then I catch my breath and the fuck fun begins.

It's me alone. Remember, I told you, someone who can find a vein who won't steal your shit? Impossible. Plus the fact that I have subway tunnels for veins, I do it my fucking self. And I have no problem fucking myself hard.

Break out the toys! It's time to play! Ok, just one now, actually two and I'm looking to up size. So I go for the 14 by 8 inch first and ram it right in! Instant second orgasm! I go with that one for about a day and half, leaving me perfectly ready for my own fist which I'm only able to take for a short while before I cramp and have to stop altogether. So I tend to put that aside these days. Anyways, at that point I usually break out the 24 inch and it disappears inside of me, no problem at all.

Shit! That's not what you wanted to hear,did you.I guess I'm still trying to put on the show, quite the show.

You want to know how it feels. Tell the truth. You fucking know you wanna try it just once. Again, who the fuck am I to lie? It's scary as fucking death the first time and you really think you're dropping dead. It burns your lungs ice cold like a fucking bitch and no matter what, you just have to remember to keep breathing as fast as possible until the wave evens out inside of you. It's impossibly amazing.

The first time I did it I was just about to give my dealer Philip the distress signal for him to dial 911 but I looked down and he was enjoying the shower of cum I was spewing so I waited and was glad I had.

You really need to be with someone that knows what to do and won't panic. You need to listen and get talked through it or yeah, you're gonna panic and end up in the emergency room, jail or psych ward.

I don't recommend slamming an entire 8 ball, needless to say. But you're gonna do what you want to do. I did. So who the fuck am I to tell you not to?

Whatever you decide, just don't say I didn't warn you.

Now, the biggest problem you're gonna have is psychosis, instant chemically induced psychosis. That's why you totally can't do this. You're not ready to see the demons, the fucking shadow people.

Once you see the shadow people they see you and they never leave you alone. They listen to your thoughts. Their voices are really real, not auditory hallucinations, but rather the voices of those who don't know they are dead because they were high when it happened.

For the most part, they gather in parks, where they feel at peace from those who cannot see them.

"Hey genius. Wake up." I  was in Demetree park, naked with a 10 foot gator some 30 feet away. How the fuck did I get here? My ass is killing me!  "Yeah. I tried it and passed out. When I woke up you'd placed a Craigslist ad to find you here ass up with this in you." And he pulled the dildo out. "

I'll never know just how many times I got pounded that night. There were allot of freshly used condoms there, not yet baked by the Florida sun.

I had been there for only one night. But for months people were asking me when I was going to hang out in the park again.

[myhyyh]

To You | Chapter. 1

Ship: reader x Jungkook

Genre: romance, fantasy, school-life, smut, angst, fluff

Word Count: 5,428

You're the new girl in town. With a grieving past and uncertain future, your days repeat and trail on into the unknown. Love. Lust. Betrayal? You're soon to discover the city holds more than you imagined.

A/N: hello : ) I'm so excited to be sharing my first fanfic with you guys. it is a working process so I can’t exactly say how many parts are to come, though I am planning to drag this one out so sit tight andijustwanttoapologiseinadvanceforanyemotionaldistressthiscausesyoubyenow ^^

Hey. It’s me. It’s been a while… I messed up huh?

-

It’s mid-June, the train doors finally opened after what felt like a journey that would never end, the summer breeze instantly consuming me, but it wasn't the type I was used it. It wasn't like back home, in the countryside where the air was fresh and untainted. Here, it was thick and humid, filled with the scent of newly embedded cement and some other smell that screamed pollution, that’s the city for you; Seoul city.

The past few weeks, months, had been tough on me. At age 17 I was forced to bury my own parents, all by myself. “Huh,” I thought to myself. Almost a year has gone by, yet I’m still stuck in that moment. The pain in my chest as the nurse told me I was left alone in this world, that the only people in my life were now gone, forever. “Huh” I laughed out loud this time. It’s funny how 214 days can feel like a single moment that I’m still lingering in. I feel people shoving past me as they hurry off the train and I realized I’d been standing in everyone's' way, wallowing in my own feelings again.

Ever since the accident, I’d been living with my grandma, both mourning the death of my parents and relying on each other because… well, we're all each other had. I’d begged her to let me stay living with her but she insisted I move to the city that’s ‘full of opportunities’ and get a break from all this. She hated the way it all affected me, how it left me empty, my soul rotting. I hated it too, so giving in wasn't that hard in the end. Maybe a new start was just what I needed?

I had my own place here, but it wasn't anything fancy, just a typical one bedroom rooftop apartment. I could’ve afforded better but couldn't bring myself to ask grandma for too much. A part of me felt I was burdening her enough as it was. I know it's nothing like that but my own conscious wouldn't allow me to take more than I needed. I figured I'd get a part-time job to make ends meet while I attended my last year of high school here. Besides, from now on I'd need to learn how to depend on myself.

I took my time making my way to my new home, taking in my surroundings to familiarize myself. The last thing I wanted was to get lost in this big city. Coffee shop, hair salon, coffee shop, restaurant, convenient store, coffee shop, coffee shop. I internally cringed at how industrialized this place was. I knew from the start that I wouldn't like it but I also knew it didn't hurt to try either and walked into one of the many coffee shops.

The atmosphere was surprisingly calming. It was the combination of the lighting, interior decor and the smell of fresh brewing coffee in the air that allowed my nerves to simmer down for the first time all day. I managed to order something off the menu, some new special, not entirely knowing what it consisted of. I took my drink and looked for somewhere quiet to sit and rest my mind. ‘I made it,’ I thought to myself, but I knew the real journey had only just begun.

-

It’s been a couple of weeks now and I seem to have somewhat adjusted to my new life here. I even made a friend, Mina. She goes to the same school as me, School of Performing Arts Seoul, and I’m kinda grateful to her that I wouldn't be entirely alone when the year started. I met her at the park one day, her dog decided to run off and pee on me. Repeated apologies and bows turned into fits of laughter and, well, the rest is history.

It’s 8:46 pm, I hear a knock on the door that turns into a full on banging and I could tell who it was. Mina. She was coming over to pick me up for a ‘wild night out’. School was starting soon and she’s been meaning to introduce me to some of our classmates. I swung the door open with a disapproving "really” look on my face. “Do you have to do that every time?” I whined. “Yes, yes I do.” she plainly stated, passing by and plopping down on the sofa. “Well, you're late” “Oh relax! We have plenty of time before the club even starts to get lit, you don't wanna be early, surrounded by all those creepers again do you?” We both shivered in disgust at the thought of what happened the last time I urged Mina to ‘not be late’ to a club. “You're right.” I surrendered and headed back into the bedroom to finish putting my look together. “OMG Y/N, you won’t believe who’s coming today!” Mina practically screamed. “Umm let me guess.. the infamous super hot senior graduate you won't ever shut up about?!” I returned her energy with my own enthusiastic sarcasm. “Aaaahh!! I haven't seen Taehyung since he graduated back in May. He’ll be starting university in fall so I gotta win him over before all the uni thots hop on him.” she declared. “Easy tiger, you don't wanna scare him off do you?” “I mean, come on, it's about time. I’m a senior now and in the book that practically puts me on the same level as a uni freshmen, duh.” “What book?” I couldn’t help but laugh at how ridiculous she sounded. “Y/N focus, I’m on a mission tonight and I could use some moral support.” She popped her head in the bedroom to throw me a pout but it quickly diminished into an ‘O’ shape when she saw me. I wore a two-piece black lacy bralette and pencil skirt that stopped just at the top of my thighs, with a pair of thigh-high laced boots to finish the look. I may have not grown up in the city but fashion trends never failed to reach me. I didn't notice Mina gawking as I decided on a choker in the mirror when I heard her scream out, “SLAY BITCHH!” That got my attention. “How do I look?” I did a quick spin for her, letting her see every angle of me. “Ok. I almost dropped Tae for you.. fuck Y/N!” “Ugh shut up.” 9:04 pm. I threw my hair back over one of my shoulders and tucked it behind my ear, grabbed my black fur jacket and clutch and met Mina at the front door with a mental note.

Let's make this a night to remember.

-

The club was well hidden and kinda hard to find. At some point I just grabbed hold of Mina’s hand and let her lead the way, clearly, it wasn't her first time. She’d pretty much taken me to every club in Seoul apart from this one, Paragon. Apparently, the thing about this club was that it only opened for special events or when someone rented it out for personal use? Either way, it was pretty expensive, which got me wondering what could be so special about it? ‘As long as it’s not EDM’ was my motto so I pushed all pressing enquiries to the back of my mind. We got inside and I couldn't help but notice how friendly Mina was with the bouncers. She conversed with them for a while, and I let my eyes wonder around. The only thing between me and the club was a set of large gold lion embroidered doors with a bouncer on each side, yet the sound of the music was still so vivid. The beat was roaring and I could already feel it pulsating in my chest. It consumed me and left me urging to discover what was on the other side. I was broken from my trance by the sound of girls shrieking behind me at the entrance. 

“This isn't a place for kids, now go home”, one of the bouncers commanded. “Please! I just wanna see oppa please, please, please!” I turned around to a pair of actual kids pleading their way into a club.. why was I not surprised? Their attire made it so obvious that they were underage. Body-cons that looked over-sized on their premature bodies, over exaggerated heels that kept them stumbling, and don't even get me started on their make-up. “Mess”, Mina chuckled, grabbing my arm and guiding me forward into the unknown.

To my surprise, I was greeted by the ultimate form of luxurious nightlife, surrounded by raw crypt, lavished with sumptuous leathers and burnished copper, the club radiated an invigorating atmosphere. I looked around the space, taking in a range of differently designed rooms, each with their own special feature, achieving a unique environment out of the mix between past, present, and future. Original elements, such as dark stone, architraves and coving contrasted with modern, custom designed furniture, brushed and polished copper steel finishes and natural colors. The light design pleaded for an exceptional visual experience. Through it’s minimalist elegance and simplicity, I felt stimulated, a sense of exuberance. The creation blending intimacy and community, function and fantasy, art and design, resonating as one in this modern definition of luxury. For a moment I questioned myself if this was a place I was worthy of.

I felt Mina brush her cheek against mine, rushing something about going to get us drinks and I was pulled out of my trance. I watched her disappear into the crowd of people and contemplated whether it was a bad idea not going with her as I was now faced to stand awkwardly alone, in a place I felt I didn't fit into. I mentally shook my head, reminding myself that moving here meant I could start fresh. I was being ridiculous. No one knew me yet, apart from Mina, and seeing as I was going to meet my classmates and ‘potential' friends soon, now was not the time to be consumed in my introverted ways. Pep talk over, I forced my attention back to my surroundings. I looked around, trying to find some place or group that I could blend into. I couldn't help but notice how incredibly good looking everybody was. Seriously, it was like a room full of God’s best creations. A sudden nerve of panic washed over me like I was being watched. I tried to calmly look around for the source but my eyes moved frantically and I could feel myself caving under the pressure. I ventured out to search for Mina, pushing the pair of eyes on me to the back of my mind, if they wouldn’t disappear, I would.

My eyes finally fell on Mina and I willed my body to move in. I watched her deep in conversation with several figures. For a moment, I stopped, stunned by more than just their beauty. Their auras synchronized in emitting ethereal energy. I couldn't quite process it and found myself at loss for words. Something about them was so inviting, so nostalgic.. it kinda reminded me of my parents. Mina’s eyes found mine from across the circle, “Y/N, there you are, come here!” I stepped into them, instantly regretting it as I felt my anxiety almost reaching it’s breaking point now that all eyes were on me. I opted to calm my nerves by focusing on a familiar face and glued my eyes to Mina. I noticed her arm interlocked with a tall, beautiful man, and when she caught my eyes drift to him, she took initiative to introduce us.

“Y/N, this is Taehyung, Taehyung, Y/N.” I could see the excitement dancing in her eyes as she presented her infamous crush, and everybody else fell back into the current of conversation around us. “Y/N just moved here this summer alone and she’ll be attending senior year with me at SOPA.” She finished, causing Taehyung to narrow his eyes on me. “Alone?” he asked, his face reading curiosity. “Yeah, my um.. my parents..’ I instantly dropped my head and began to fidget with my fingertips under the pressure of realizing what hole I just dug myself into, “they died a few months ago so... here I am! alone..” I tried to finish enthusiastically but it all just came out so awkward. I didn't want to ruin the mood, but I realized too late that that is exactly what I had done. “My condolences, Y/N.” He threw me a reassuring smile, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. I wasn't in the mood for another ‘sob story’ moment so I stirred the conversation into a different direction. “I heard you just graduated, so I guess I won’t be seeing you at school this fall.” “Taehyung got accepted into Seoul Institute of Arts, isn't that amazing!” I watched Taehyung blush under Mina’s compliment. “Wow, congratulations.” “Thanks, Y/N.” He turned his head to the side and stared down at Mina, slowly placing a kiss on her forehead. Such an endearing moment. I wondered why they weren’t official yet. “Besides, it’s not like we’d get to see him often anyways.” Mina accused jokingly, pouting her bottom lip out. “Hey, that’s not fair!” Taehyung whined, “I've just been busy touring, you know that.” “You’re an artist?” I interrupted. “Yes! I’m in a group called BTS, we’re not that popular yet, but we’re gaining recognition by being on the road all the time.” He finished, throwing Mina a pitiful look I presume she’s all too familiar with. “Psht, look at you humbling yourself,” she faced directly at me this time, “they’re mad popular here in south ko, but they're trying to go international.” She finished dramatically, rolling her eyes as if Taehyung’s career goal was the only thing getting in between their ‘relationship’. “That’s really cool, I’d love to see you perform sometime.” “Well..” he began, his voice thinning out into a light chuckle as he collected his thoughts, “you see, we were supposed to perform the title song of our new album, Blood, Sweat & Tears, here tonight, but my members got kinda excited and.. shitfaced” he finished with a nervous smile. “Wait, you're all here?” His words spiked up a new curiosity in me. “Well duh, the whole point of this party is to celebrate their new album, of course all the members would be here, Y/N, didn't I tell you?” She asked but I knew she wasn't actually waiting for a response as all of her attention was devoted to Taehyung, she stared up at him as if he was the center of the universe. Her eyes mesmerized, her lips twisting into a beckoning smirk, pleading his to come crashing down into them. She was under his spell. “No, I think you forgot to mention that, Mina” I seethed at her through clenched teeth and a fake smile. “Oops” was all her brain could process. “I would introduce you but... I can’t seem to find them..” he trailed off, looking around the club, over everyone’s head, desperately searching for at least one member. It was almost effortless and for the first time, I realized how tall he was. “It’s ok,” I chuckled at his effort and decided to give him a rest, “another time?” “Of course!”

A tap on his shoulder stole his attention. After conversing with a man for several seconds he turned back around to face us. “It seems like they need me backstage.” He said, his face flashing a mix of concern and embarrassment. “What’s wrong?” Mina asked. “Apparently Hoseok hyung is planning a one-man-show.. in the nude..” He watched both me and Mina’s mouths turn into ‘O’s before continuing, “I better go help stop him before he ruins our career.” He turned around to leave, placing a kiss on top of Mina’s head and nodding a quick goodbye to me before disappearing with the man, who I now came to realize must’ve been a crew member by the way he was dressed, in all black with a mic headpiece shaping his face.

“Everyone here is so damn beautiful, I’m starting to find it weird.” I voiced out loud this time. Finally being alone with Mina, I was able to drop all barriers, I always found it easy to be myself around her. Ever since the big move, I’ve been cautious about the way I should act. I didn't want to stand out as the ‘country girl’, and even though I was perfectly proud to be where I was from, attention wasn't really my thing. After meeting Mina, I started to get a feel for how the people here behaved, thought and saw things. I figured I’d take a few tips from her to help me blend in more, but I loved being able to me unapologetically myself around her. “Well, what else do you expect from celebrities?” She sighed, confused at my question. “Celebrities?Everyone here is??” Why was I only finding this out now? “Not everyone, most of the people here are students at our school and the rest are famous graduates, the celebs-to-be, and the actual celebs.” She finished casually, and I was reminded again how uninformed I was about tonight. “Woah.” Was all I could manage. “Yep, I guess you could say this is where two worlds meet,” she said, looking around the room as if there was some physical divide, “but at least we all have something in common.” She smiled widely. “And what’s that?” “We’re all-“ A sudden arm around her neck cut her off mid-sentence.

“Come on now Mina, how are you gonna bring a new friend to my party and not even introduce me, you know better than that.” The blonde haired boy chided. He had thick hair that was unkempt. He ran his fingers through it slowly, moving it from his forehead and leaving little fly-aways that fell endearingly; revealing clear dark eyes, a color almost indefinable. They reminded me of the autumn leaves, a dark brown at first; but the closer he got the brighter they appeared. Suddenly they were chestnut with slight orange undertones. A straight nose and perfectly full, but masculine lips completed his face. I could hardly think as I stared stunned and bemused into his eyes, eyes that were staring right back into mine. I figured he was a part of BTS by the reference of ‘my party’ and turned to Mina for elaboration. “This, very drunk boy,” she scolded him, “is Jimin, he's a vocalist in Tae’s group” “It’s nice to meet you, very drunk boy.” I teased, which earned the most endearing eye smile from him, making my heart jump. “The pleasure is all mine.” He lifted my hand up, bringing it to his mouth and placing a kiss on my knuckles. It took me every bone in my body to hold my composure, but when my cheeks involuntarily flushed red, he’d gotten the reaction he was hoping for, as if getting even for the smile and slowly brought our hands down, but he didn't let go.

“Did you graduate too?” I tried to change the subject to lessen the heat rushing through my cheeks, my finger tips burning under his touch as he played with them. He just threw his head down and laughed nervously, and when Mina did the same I felt awkward between their inside joke that I was, apparently, missing the point of. “Well, Jiminie over here was supposed to graduate with Tae last May,” she overemphasized ‘supposed’, narrowing her eyes at Jimin, making him look the other way, “but he's not very gifted when it come to, um, school. So now he gets to repeat senior year with us, yay!” She finished laughing in his face, making the irritation in his eyes grow. “But he’s the best when it comes to dancing.” She quickly added, seeing the pain on his face and hoping to diminish the shade she threw at him. “What can I say, I’m a master with my body.” He whispered at me under hooded, hungry eyes and I had to wonder whether it was actually him or the alcohol talking. “I’m sure you are.” The words stumbled out as I cowered under his gaze, almost giving up on whatever composure I had left.

“Alright, Jimin, I think that’s enough teasing now.” A soft, sweet voice came out from behind him. A fragile-looking girl with vibrant, red, wavy hair. She look like something straight out of an anime, with bright brown eyes and clear, pale skin. “Hi, I’m Yeri.” She took the liberty to introduce herself, gently retracting my hand from Jimin’s and holding it in her own, whilst throwing him a cheeky irritated look. He returned it with his own version of irritation, upset that she’d broken our contact. “Hello, I’m- “Y/N!” She finished for me, and I narrowed my eyes at her. How did she know my name? Her face flashed a look that read ‘uh oh’ and she opened her mouth to explain, but nothing came out. After several nervous glances between the three of them, she continued. “Erm... Taehyung told me.” She laughed nervously, but something in me didn't believe her. “Way to go, Ri.” Jimin called her out, whispering very close to her ear as if I wasn’t supposed to hear him. “Yeah, hyung told us all about the ‘new girl’.” Another boy joined the conversation, throwing darts at Yeri, who was now grinning sheepishly at her mistake. “I see,” I stated flatly, clearly remembering Taehyung heading in the complete opposite direction from where they came from. “Mark.” He extended his hand out to me and I shook it subconsciously, too focused on how tall and pretty he was to properly reciprocate the gesture. “Y/N.” I said, instantly regretting it as he added, “I think we’ve already established that.” He laughed and I snapped back to reality. “Mark and Yeri are both sophomores at SOPA,” Mina moved from next to Jimin to beside Mark, “which means that this little rascal is younger than you, so you don't have to take any of his bs, ok.” She ended, roughly patting his head, although he was a whole foot taller than her, and he just let her. They looked like siblings in the moment. “Yeah, we get that a lot.” Mark sighed, his eyes growing the instant he finished talking as Mina pulled his hair to shut him up. “Get what?” Now I was seriously confused.

We all stood in silence for a few moments before the lights dimmed out in the club. A single spotlight hit the stage and Taehyung emerged from the left wing and took his place at the center. For a moment, I fully expected that Hoseok guy to run out and flash everyone. “Hello everybody, I’m V from BTS.” “V?” I whispered to Mina, who just rolled her eyes. “Stage name.” It seemed like she wasn't fond of it. “I would like to thank everyone for coming out tonight to celebrate our new album, Wings, with us. As you’ve probably already noticed, I’m the only one on stage.” After gaining the light laughter reaction he was looking for, he continued. “Long story short, the boys saw alcohol and I haven’t seen them since.” The crowd erupted into laughter this time at his distress. “I know you guys are listening right now, somewhere, so I just wanna quickly tell you.. you guys suck!” “I love you, too!” Jimin yelled back, earning a scowl from Taehyung in our direction. ‘Swag’ came from somewhere in the crowd, causing another wave of laughter and Taehyung to drop his head. “Yoongi..” Jimin chuckled, looking genuinely amused.

“Anyway. This time we decided writing each song together doesn't reflect the exact personal taste of each member, so instead, we each have our own completely separate songs. This way, we get to explore our own individual styles, incorporating them into our own stories.” He spoke clearly, accentuating every word with his deep, soothing voice and I realized I’d been put under his spell, along with the rest of the crowd. “We all contributed to the writing and producing our solo songs, and, in my personal, humble opinion, “ he began with mischief written all over his face, “the Neo-Soul song, Stigma, is the best.” He finished proudly, earning a round of applause. That must’ve been his song. “Now, I know you were promised a performance but since the members ruined our surprise,” he pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, who knew he could be such an actor, “due to the fact that they are.. how do I put this nicely? conceited, careless, crazy bastards who can’t control themselves,” my mouth dropped open, “we’ve agreed that the DJ will play our entire album tonight as an apology.” With that, the first song began and the crowd went wild.

“Let’s go!” Yeri yelled, pulling Mark along with her to the dance floor. Taehyung came down from the stage, beckoning Mina to join him too and in the midst of it all, I noticed Jimin disappeared. Mina threw me a glance, insisting I’d join them but the last thing I wanted to do right now was dive into the suffocating sea of bodies. 

My nerves were running out of control and I couldn't understand why. I’d been feeling this way every since we walked in, but it was mild back then, and way more intense now. I could feel it like a weight in my chest, confining my lungs and making it hard for me to breath. My fingers were trembling and when I raised them up to cup my face, I felt a tingling energy force itself through my entire body and stop at my hands. I watched them shake in front of me and for a split second, my eyes caught what looked like markings just in the palm of my hands. I blinked and they were gone. Was it just my imagination? The more I thought about it, the more I felt like I was about to lose consciousness. I needed space, air. I convinced her to go on without me and made my way to the second floor, it was pretty much empty since everyone continued gathering on the dance floor. I found the nearest corner and crouched down against the wall, placing my elbows on my knees and dropping my forehead down into my hands. What was wrong with me? I could no longer control them, they were shaking in an odd trembling rhythm, and for a minute I had myself convinced I’d fade into oblivion.

“Come on baby, just one kiss? I promise I’ll make it worth your while.” A snobby voice giggled and I realized I wasn’t alone. I peeked up over the edge of my fingertips, trying to find the source of the sound. A couple sat in the lounge opposite me, surrounded by too many empty bottles of liquor. “No.” The boy sighed. “Why not?” The girl began to beckon him by straddling herself across his lap, cupping his face in her hands and leaning in closer. “Because, if I kiss you now then you’ll just keep coming back for more, and I can’t give you that,” he teased her, “you’re just gonna get your feelings hurt and then I’m gonna look like the bad guy.” He spoke, but his actions spoke louder than his words as he made no effort to move away from her. He noticed her hesitate as she digested his words, and figured she’d backed down, but to his surprise... “You know..” she began,“I like bad guys.” She whispered, her lips brushing against his. A smirk played up in the corners of his lips and just when he was about to give in, his eyes found mine.

I instantly shot my head down. He caught me. He caught me and now he was looking at me. I internally cried, hoping the ground would just swallow me up. “What’s wrong?” The girl asked, noticing his diverted attention. “Er.. nothing, it’s just..” He trailed off trying to find some excuse when his phone began vibrating in his pocket. As soon as he read the caller ID, he sat up, throwing the girl off his lap. - “What, no, isn't he with Seokjin?” He almost yelled. I knew something was wrong as I could clearly hear whoever was on the other end of the line frantically shouting, all the way from my position on the other side of the room. “Fucking Hoseok.” The boy spat under his breath, before leaving the area. When I was sure he was gone, I looked up. The girl, who was ready for a make out session only moments ago, was passed out on the sofa, sound asleep. I looked at the mess she was, suddenly very thankful I hadn't had a single drop of alcohol all night and threw my head back down. I just wanted to get out of here and go home but I couldn't bring myself to ask Mina to leave. She’d been looking forward to not only tonight but spending time with Taehyung. I mean, who knows when she’ll get to see him next. I couldn't bear to cut whatever time they had short and sunk further into the wall, trying to find comfort in the silence this part of the club had to offer.

After a while, I came to my senses. I wasn’t sure how much time had gone by but at least my nerves had calmed down. The music was still playing downstairs so I figured it hadn't been that long. I remembered the girl from before and looked up to where she was sleeping, only to find that she wasn't there anymore. I contemplated whether she ended up leaving the club with the guy from earlier or not, but my question was answered when he reached the top of the stairs to the lounge, alone. I remembered our awkward eye contact and hid behind my palms once again, hoping he’d forgotten and wouldn't notice me. His footsteps kept getting closer and I realized it was hopeless.

“Hey, you alright?” A soft voice asked, crouching down so that we were at the same level. “Yeah.” My voice came out so weak, even I didn't believe me. I leaned deeper into my hands, hoping he’d get the message and just leave. “I’m not leaving.” He dropped, sitting down with his legs crossed directly in front of me as if to stand his ground. A few moments passed and when he realized I wasn't budging, he continued, “you know.. it is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.” “Huh?” I couldn't help but lift my head up and laugh at his ridiculous comment. “Congrats, you're not a pig.” He smiled widely, proud that he got me to face him. “What is that supposed to mean?” I was too giddy from his previous comment to even be offended. “Nothing. But at least now I get to see your pretty face.” He said with a smile in his voice. I was met with a smirk, and when my eyes took him in completely, I realized how close he was. I found myself looking straight at him more than I’d like to admit but something about him was so... calming.  My eyes traced every inch of his face; from his eyes to his lips and everything in between, until they fell on a scar placed on his left cheek. I stared at it for a moment longer, wondering how it got there before he turned to the side as if he was hiding it. When he turned back to face me, something about him changed. He held my eyes again and somewhere between his close proximity and intense gaze, I felt like an open book. He wasn’t just looking at me, he was searching my eyes as if he could see straight into my mind through them. With that thought, a smile crept up on his face, sending a wave of energy through me and causing my nerves to stir up again.

“Don’t worry, you’ll get used to it.” He let out with a slight chuckle.

“Get used to what?” I asked, but he already got up and was making his way back. He turned around to face me at the top of the stairs, throwing me one last smile.

“Everything. See you around, Y/N.”

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