#6 years he prioritized literally EVERYONE ELSE over himself.

[osoreruna]

yeah, yeah — comedic relief...blah, blah... but also, y'all do realize, the fact that toshi regularly coughs up blood is a sign that he never fully / properly healed from his afo battle, right —

#𝗦𝗠𝗔𝗟𝗟 𝗠𝗜𝗚𝗛𝗧 + [ OOC ] #and it's because of how he continues to utilize ofa #y'all realize this right — #he continues his normal hero work for YEARS... #he VERY LITERALLY sacrifices his own body to continue saving people #to continue being of service #to continue being the world's symbol of peace... #he wouldn't be in anywhere NEAR as bad of shape if he'd listened to sir when he told him to retire. #or even just cut his shifts in half. #but no — he continued at full capacity for 6 years... #6 YEARS HE NEVER PROPERLY HEALED FROM LITERALLY LOSING HIS STOMACH AND A LUNG. #6 years he prioritized literally EVERYONE ELSE over himself. #i've said it nine times and i'll say it again: #you don't have to LIKE all might...but you gotta give him props. #i'm not sure there's many other heroes that would get up every day and sacrifice their entire selves to being a TRUE hero for *society* #after going through something like that.

[wondereads]

Personal Review (05/29/22)

Howl's Moving Castle by Diana Wynne Jones

Why am I reviewing this book?

This is one of my favorite books in the world, and I was just waiting for a chance to reread and review it. It is very different from the movie, so I suggest everybody read it!

Plot 1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10

Sophie, as the oldest of three sisters, has always known that she would fail miserably if she ever went out to seek her fortune. However, when she offends the Witch of the Waste and is transformed into an elderly woman, she sets off on an adventure of her own, one that includes overdramatic wizards, fire demons, and perhaps a little bit of true love.

Compared to the fast-paced, high-action fantasy novels being published today, Howl's Moving Castle can seem meandering. However, a key factor of Diana Wynne Jones' books is knowing exactly what the problem is from the get-go and then spending the rest of the book avoiding that problem until it gets too big to ignore. While the first read-through may seem a little weird in its pacing, this book has some of the highest reread value ever. Every time you go back, you will notice little hints, little bits of character work that were hidden the first time around. It all comes together to make a story that might veer of course but never gets boring.

Despite there being no hard worldbuilding really, it's very easy to follow the magic rules of Ingary. It's all the rules of fairy tales and fables brought together, the ones we're intimately familiar with from a young age, to make a system that is simultaneously simple for the reader and absolutely chaotic. Speaking of chaos, the climax of Howl's Moving Castle is one of the most chaotic I've ever read with almost every character of importance being literally shoved into a tiny space and forced to deal with each other. It also provides a lot of ways for Howl's curse to be snuck in there and resolve everything.

Characters 1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10

The characters of Howl's Moving Castle are some of the most unique I've ever read and will always be among my favorites. Starting with Sophie, she starts off very timid and self-deprecating, but becoming an old woman allows her the freedom to speak her mind and do what she wants. While aging sixty years isn't ideal, it's abundantly clear that had Sophie not been cursed she would never have been able to move past the societal structures that were keeping her from living her life. As an old woman, Sophie has no issues with barging into an evil wizard's home to become his housekeeper while she certainly would never have done it while she was young. The way Sophie comes to love herself is one of the most beautiful character arcs I've ever read.

Howl is a whiny, overdramatic, flamboyant wizard at the beginning of the book, and by the end, he's exactly that only a little better. Howl has to learn to be honest and have a bit of bravery every once in a while, but it doesn't permanently alter his personality. He's still the Howl the readers have fallen in love with. Oh, it must be mentioned that he's just a dude from Wales who used to play rugby, which is absolutely hilarious.

As for Howl and Sophie together, something to note is that outside of their romance they are foils to each other at the beginning of the book. Sophie prioritizes everyone else over herself while Howl prioritizes himself over everyone else, and by the end of the book, they have taught each other that neither extreme is good or healthy. Then, of course, they have one of the funniest, sweetest romances ever. Their incessant bickering is reminiscent of an old, married couple, and while they care for each other in very small but important ways. Also, Sophie is very good at pinning Howl down, who, as we all know, is very good at slithering out of things.

The side characters are all wonderful as well. There's Michael, Howl's young, teenaged apprentice who often gets dragged into Sophie's schemes, and Martha and Lettie, Sophie's younger sisters. The sisters have their own story going on where they swap places with a disguise spell, and despite the rules of fairy tales, they love each other and Sophie very much. There's a lot of emphasis placed on family whether it's the blood between Sophie, Lettie, and Martha or the motherly affection Sophie has for Michael.

Writing Style 1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10

Oh, Diana Wynne Jones' writing style. I love it so much that my own writing mimics it. The way she has that wonderful, matter-of-fact, humorous tone while still immersing the reader completely within the whimsical magic of her world—it's more than any reader could hope for. There's a lot of genuine humor in this book; even after rereading it for the umpteenth time, there are always parts that make me snort. Her writing fits her stories and settings very well, which only serves to enhance the experience.

I will admit that, as I said before, the pacing might feel a little off the first go-round. After all, it seems like nothing happens for quite a while after Sophie meets Howl, but things are happening! Pay attention, and enjoy finding the hints in your reread.

Overall 1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10

What, did you expect something else? I will be promoting this book until the day I die, and then you can expect me to talk off anyone's ears in the afterlife. The story is unique and fun, the characters are lovable and well-developed, and the writing style is perfect for the situation. Howl's Moving Castle means so much to me. I strive for fair reviews, where I can point out the flaws, even in the books I love, but I can't bring myself to say anything bad about this book. If you haven't read it, go read it; you won't regret it.

The Author

Diana Wynne Jones: passed away at 76 in 2011, also wrote The Chronicles of Chrestomanci, The Merlin Conspiracy, and the Dalemark Quartet

The Reviewer

My name is Wonderose; I try to post a review every two weeks, sometimes once a week, usually over vacations. I take recommendations! Check out my about me post for more!

#books #reviews #howl’s moving castle #diana wynne jones #fantasy #young reader #ya #sophie hatter #howl pendragon

[galkyrie]

Jaytimkon 6 ?👀

Never done Jaytimkon before, let's goooo:

6. “Is there a reason you’re naked in my bed?”

“Is there a reason you’re naked in my bed?” Tim leaned against the doorway, arms folded over his chest and eyebrow arched. He was going for unimpressed, which proves to be a monumentally difficult task when Jason laces his fingers and brings them to rest against the back of his head, letting the blanket fall to his waist and revealing all that impressive musculature.

“I think the better question is, is there a reason you aren’t, Prettybird?” Jason’s smirk is sharp and all Tim needs to see to know he’s been caught staring- or rather, taking in the display that’s blatantly for him.

“I was- I’m working.” It was two pm on a weekday and he has maybe half an hour before he has to get back and Jason was doing this to him-

“Working? You shouldn’t be working today, of all days.” Kon’s deep baritone reaches his ears from behind the briefest moment before his waist is being circled by a set of broad, warm hands. Oh great, they’re both in on whatever this was- he didn’t stand a chance.

“Yeah, Prettybird. It’s a special occasion.” Jason chimes in.

Tim froze. Panic lanced through his chest briefly as he ran through the catalog of every significant date he could remember, coming up blank. His distraction was an opening the two larger men were all too happy to use to their advantage, and Tim found himself joining Jason both on the bed and in his level of undress in a literal whirl of motion.

Jason shot Kon an unimpressed look over Tim’s suddenly bare shoulder, “Sometimes it’s fun to take your time getting the present unwrapped, Clone-Boy-”

“-It’s not our anniversary- that’s in February.” Tim interrupts their bickering before it can really take off, watching as the two actual Adonises who somehow wanted him in the mix blinked at him in bemusement. He’d enjoy the view in a minute- after they clued him in on what he was missing. “-and your birthday isn't until-”

Jason cuts him off with a laugh, leaning over and grabbing his chin. “Christ, Timmers. It’s your birthday.” He punctuates the statement with a long, insistent kiss that presses him back against the warm expanse of Kon’s bared chest.

“Oh.” Tim pants, dazed and already overwhelmed. Were they planning on killing him as his present? “I forgot.”

Kon snorted derisively and nipped lightly at the shell of Tim’s ear- “That’s very obvious, Tim.”

“It’s not a-”

“-It’s a big deal to us.” Jason gives him a hard look, Tim’s insistence dying in his throat. “You made it another year. That’s cause for celebration in our line of work. You’re takin’ the rest of the day off.”

“You work so hard to take care of everyone else every other day of the year. Let us take care of you today.” Kon kissed at his neck, tone soft and thick with more emotion than he’d probably like to admit.

Tim practically watches his resolve get up and walk out the door out of deference for the two men just asking him to let them love him. “Okay. Sorry-” He apologizes, apparently for forgetting his own birthday. For not prioritizing himself as much as either of them want or ask him to.

Jason’s expression softens, heartbreakingly fond, and he leans in to kiss him again. Tim sinks into the embrace, lets himself be taken care of.

After- when he’s basking in their dual embrace and allowing Jason to finger-feed him cake while griping about how an actual orgasm shouldn’t be a prerequisite for achieving a baseline normal amount of relaxation (their usual pillow-talk, if he’s being honest) while Kon laughs at both of them and tries to swipe some of the cake from the vigilante’s plate- he distantly remembers that he’d come home to grab his laptop for a meeting that was definitely over by now. He takes another bite once offered and burrows further into their arms.

Bruce could take care of it. It was his birthday.

#jaytimkon #galkyrie writes #prompt response #this turned out a bit more tender than I originally planned

[kiriluvbot]

NO ONE ASKED BUT IM HERE TO SUPPLY ANYWAY!

sero hanta headcanons for the soul

- asexual, pan-romantic!

- uses they/he pronouns (didn’t know they could have different pronouns until he met tokoyami, and they spent their entire first year having a crisis over it)

- i know it’s old and overused but this kid is a hufflepuff, through and through

- CHILD OF APHRODITE. i take no criticism.

- a heartthrob among his entire grade, not just class A, but B as well, and the general course, and the business course,, AND the support course. everyone loves sero hanta.

- a natural charmer but is literally not aware that they make everyone within a 400 meter radius of them swoon

- until kaminari tells him in their second year. homie. youre fucking hot. and mina says, use it to your advantage. SO HE DOES.

- third year sero hanta is a force to be reckoned with, let me tell you. using their charm along with their natural ability to just. Befriend anyone (including a brick WALL tbh) to get his way. they get their way, they Know Everything. everyone knows his name by the time he graduates.

- The Older Sibling friend. not quite the mom friend or even the dad friend, but the older sibling. he’s a constant source of comfort and dependability among his class, but theyre also an agent of chaos that likes to cause problems On Purpose just to see what’ll happen. they never get caught being the instigator tho. no one can ever catch him.

- likes to watch aforementioned chaos from the sidelines. a mediator and an excellent negotiator. keeps his friends (cough, bakugo) from murdering each other or other people (cough, monoma)

- i like to think he’s the eldest child with two or three younger sisters and maybe a baby brother. their parents divorced right before sero started high school, and he and his siblings live with their mom. she’s a real lovely lady.

- since he’s the eldest, he kinda knows how to take care of people. sick people, sad people, hungry people. they can read and understand people really well if they really matter to him.

- most of the time there’s just wii music in their head tho

- they weren’t super great at prioritizing themselves/taking care of themselves when he first moved in to the dorms, but with time and help from his friends, they keep getting better at it

- sero gets his looks from his dad and his attitude from his mother. again, i imagine she’s a real lovely lady.

- their love language is physical touch! with so many younger siblings and his natural Eldest Sibling Vibe, it’s only natural for him to be super cuddly and affectionate!

- while it may not be their love language, sero also probably really likes spending quality time with his friends. they like going out, they like being loud and having a blast, but the kid also wouldn’t mind sitting in his room with his friends in silence while everyone did their own individual thing.

- the kind of person that sleeps with one pillow only and one blanket only

- probably runs warm, kicks off the blanket in the summer time. either sleeps on his back stretched out like a starfish or curled into themselves like a baby. no in between.

- has a pair of underwear they call their “lucky underwear” and it’s just a pair with spider-man’s face as the pattern.

- the kid does not have regular chairs in his dorm. it’s bean bags or the floor, man.

- they also have a hammock . i’ve seen this repeating trope in every single fic i’ve ever read

- keeps a stash of snacks in his room! but it’s a trade system. kaminari gets m&ms for cheek kisses, kirishima gets beef jerky for his most rib crushing hug, and todoroki gets gummy worms if he shares his manga.

- has led lights that are connected to his speaker and changes color every time a song changes

- has only three playlists. only three.

- they’re titled, respectively: “u yearning bastard,,” “monch monch”, “for pissing bkg off”

- he still listens to the jonas brothers, lots of big time rush, but also fleetwood mac and abba. frank ocean, lorde,,,, but also. they know every word to both mama mia soundtracks.

- absolutely adores horror + romance movies and not much else

- he tries getting into star wars for kirishima’s sake but he literally cannot keep up with the plot for shit.

- can quote the entirety of the notebook with mina (it infuriates bakugo to no end when those two ask to watch it for the fifth time in a week)

- has never tried an energy drink in their life, absolutely refuses to because caffeine makes him Shake and he hates the feeling

- drinks a lot of tea tho! with momo and todoroki!

- favorite snack is oranges. this kid always has oranges.

- aside from satou and bakugo, sero is probably one of the best cooks in their class

- resident pretty boy. did i mention everyone loves them? seriously. he even has the ever so stoic shouto todoroki pining after him.

- had a huge growth spurt the summer after second year began. it pissed off all their friends because he finally passed 6’ while the others were still stuck at 5’9 or below.

- by graduation, sero reached 6’3, and bakugo was still mad, because bakugo never passed 5’10.

- really grew into himself by the end of high school, finally learning how they wanted to express themselves with his clothing style, hair and *clenches fist* piercings

- started painting his nails the summer before their third year and hasnt stopped

- glorious, curly mullet. bejeweled hair pins. jean jackets and platform docs. piercings all the way up his ears. a nose ring and a smiley. (if you don’t know what a smiley is, i beg you to search it up. it’s the cutest fucking thing i’ve ever seen in my life and i want one so bad)

- ochaco is the one who cuts sero’s hair in third year.

- he got most of his piercings alongside bakugo or kaminari, but when they went to get the nose ring, they’d gone with iida and midoriya. and when he got the smiley, he went with todoroki, who squeezed his hand when the needle went through, even if todoroki wasn’t the one getting pierced.

- one time he and denki shaved their legs and arms and Everything to see if it would make them “more aerodynamic” ( “haha dont u mean /sero/dynamic?” “shut up”)

- strangely flexible. everywhere. it makes shouji shiver and jirou gag. it makes todoroki stare with wide, disbelieving eyes.

- really bad handwriting. like. what the fuck.

- that doesn’t stop them from writing cards for each of his friends for their birthdays, for christmas. it doesn’t stop them from writing letters to todoroki (even if he ended up shredding them and throwing them away after they were finished so no one would ever find them. he wanted to ask bakugo to incinerate them, just to be safe, but they didn’t want bakugo, or anyone else, that he had written love letters to shouto todoroki.)

(....not until after they confessed and finally started dating in their third year.)

- finger guns. unironically.

- is a surprisingly good dancer and a passable singer!!!!!!!!

- sings in the shower. also dances in the shower, but one time they fell and hit the wall connecting his and todoroki’s room, and todoroki thought he might’ve died. came to his door and didn’t bother knocking to check and see if they were alright. sero didn’t dance in the shower for a long time after that.

- his favorite color is yellow, but they also really, really like red.

- doesn’t have a fucking phone case on their phone.

- earbuds falling apart but he just keeps putting more tape over them because they really don’t wanna buy new ones (kirishima bought him a pair for christmas because he didn’t want sero to get electrocuted from broken earbuds. sero ensured him he would likely not get electrocuted just from some earbuds, but took the gift anyway)

- smell checks their clothes like a HEATHEN

- is in love with shouto todoroki.

that’s all :) sero hanta is my number one best boy and i love them dearly.

#bnha #mha #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #hanta sero #sero hanta #sero #sero headcanons #mha headcanons #bnha headcanons #sero hanta headcanons #long post #bakusquad

[toflyandfall]

I just saw a photo of "What persona. Dick Grayson isn't a mask. Not like Bruce Wayne is" from Detective Comics #725 and I find it interesting that Dick and the rest of the bats, with the exception of Bruce, don't wear "masks" per se. They are who they are with or without the domino mask/helmet. The only time I can really think of Dick faking things is when he pretended to be an incompetent BPD cop. How was he able to avoid creating and living, half the time, through a "persona" like "Brucie"?

Oooh, this is a lovely, meaty question.  There’s a lot more analysis of Bruce than I planned because let’s be real, it’s kinda weirder for a guy to run around with half a dozen personas than for someone else to run around as himself.  I hope you still find it interesting, but if you want to skip straight to the more Dick-centric stuff, head under the readmore.

A simple but significant factor is that Dick thrives on the company of people in a way that Bruce does not.  I suspect if you talk honestly to many introverts, you will find they too have an extroverted ‘mask’ they put on to the larger world, though probably not quite so extreme.

Another factor is that the civilian social circles Dick and Bruce travel in are vastly different.  Though they each have a reason for being in those circles, that difference itself enables Dick to escape much of the scrutiny that Bruce’s public identity undergoes, because he doesn’t frequently associate with the much more media-hounded elite.

An interesting thing here is that the large difference in social circles between their civilian lives is actually caused by their own personal similarities: they are 100% committed work-a-holics.  It’s just that they have differing civilian approaches to their goals.

I want to start with Bruce because as you point out, his use of persona is distinct among the bats and his reasons for using them in part explain why Dick and the other bats do not.

Bruce is a child of privilege, he has always lived a lifestyle of privilege, regardless of the tragedies that have occurred during it, and his default view of the world, through no fault of his own, is natively that of the extreme upper class.  This drastically influences his perspective and approach to change, and changing the world is his perpetual goal, the reason he put on the suit in the first place.

Bruce works a top-down society approach toward systemic change, and he works it all the time.  This is actually my favorite but woefully under-emphasized part of him: he is not just someone who punches people on the street ‘for justice’, he uses his company, his money, and his social position toward substantial systemic change. This post does a wonderful job covering the ways he does this through his corporations and personal wealth, as does this one.  I cannot recommend either enough because I constantly want to push even the most casual Batman fans to understand: Bruce Wayne is not just a violent punchy puncher man.  He is a traumatized person genuinely trying to use all his resources including himself to make the world safer.

Detective Comics #725

Bruce has many personas he maintains, and he uses all of them according to what suits his need--Batman for places the law can’t go, Bruce Wayne the CEO pushing for systemic changes, Matches Malone for street information, and Brucie the society high roller for society information and social influencing.  He is rarely ever not in a persona and simply ‘Bruce’.

His top-down perspective of enacting change are what dictated the usage and necessity of these personas. He has the means and capacity to basically disappear from society if he so chose--he in fact does so to train during his younger years so successfully they don’t even know how long he was actually gone. 

The Batman Files

So he doesn’t need the personas.  Not Bruce Wayne, CEO, or Brucie, or any of them really, to protect his identity.  That tells us that Brucie is a deliberate choice he made at some point.  He could have been a recluse billionaire Batman indefinitely.  Even though he fully has the status and means to not maintain a job or a persona or, let’s be frank, a life outside the mask at all, it’s his own work-a-holicness that led to the creation of his public personas.  He’s an obsessive strategist, so if Brucie is a choice, that leads us to why?

Bruce does many philanthropic things with his money, but he isn’t the only rich person around, especially not in a city as old and corrupt as Gotham.   But he’s one of the very few ones doing good with it.

The comic you mentioned has a very beautiful moment where Bruce touches on that, and in full context you can feel how consumed he is by this goal of creating the Gotham his parents would have wanted.  Batman mentions he never sees himself in that place, and the morbid interpretation is that the city kills him before he reaches it, but the hopeful interpretation is that in that shining city, Bruce Wayne and Batman and Brucie and all his masks will no longer be needed.

Detective Comics #725

Back in the old days they’d call it noblesse oblige: the inferred responsibility of privileged people to act with generosity and nobility toward those less privileged. Thomas and Martha Wayne ingrained this feeling of responsibility into Bruce by example, and as all things related to them, he obsesses over it.  It urges him to fulfill expectations within segments of society he finds onorous for the betterment of society as a whole in order to carry out their unfinished works.

Enter Brucie.

Brucie serves a two-fold purpose.  Since Bruce has chosen to maintain personas among society, it becomes a false face to justify any oddities Batman might bring into the life of Bruce Wayne by setting himself up as a eccentric, popular social scion.  But that persona itself also allows him to manipulate the upper crust of society.

I have some insider perspective on the kind of society events Brucie attends.  They’re all about the who’s who of making connections, name-dropping and networking, and unspoken class-based elitism.  Charity events among the upper class have these things at the forefront and the cause is the background.  You don’t get your hands dirty, you don’t go out and make change yourself, you pay money to be socially seen and sometimes it happens to go towards a philanthropic cause.  If you want to raise money from the rich and keep people with deep pockets coming in the door, you have to have social currency yourself. This is where, and why, Brucie comes in.  I believe Brucie ws crafted to maintain Batman’s cover but still attempt to carry on his parents’ legacy to grease the wheels of the rich in the directions he chooses: one of generosity towards those less privileged. 

Superman/Batman #51

The inevitable flaw of Bruce’s approach to his personas and their philanthropy is that in a city rife with corruption, money distributed from the top has many opportunities to disappear well before it reaches the bottom.  As in many of ways they are complements to each other, Dick’s approach balances that out, because his approach to helping his fellow man starts out at the street level...literally.

Nightwing #153 (Nightwing: The Great Leap)

Dick, we know, does not come from privilege.  His mother was from a middle class family before she joined the circus, and despite being world famous athletes, most circus workers are lower to middle class.  The people he grew up with, was comfortable with, were all working folk who expected everyone to pull their weight right alongside each other.  He enacts this everyone-together approach in almost all aspects and phases of his life. 

Batman #615

Even once he had settled into being Robin and adapted to living at the manor, he didn’t feel belonging to a culture of privilege, materialism, or high society. He preferred shotgun in the limo to chat with the driver to riding fancy in the back.  Once he was able to start making his own decisions about where and how he lived, despite having both Bruce’s money and then later inheriting a substantial amount of his own, he chose mostly lower-class communal places.

Batman Black and White #6

Dick also doesn’t see the value of throwing money at a problem when there is an option to fix it with his own hands.  We see this frequently, from building his own car instead of buying a finished one or outsourcing the work, to deciding the best way to clean out the BPD was to start at the bottom and work his way up (literally), to quitting college because his classes never got prioritized over crimesolving.  Most of his day jobs ended for similar reasons. 

Nightwing #153 (Nightwing: The Great Leap)

Despite the showmanship training, he gravitates away from spotlight on the rich and wealthy, who are notoriously the kind of people who do not get their hands dirty or go out and take care of things themselves, and prefers to find or build communities around the kind of people who do.

Finally, Dick is an extrovert.  He doesn’t need to act extroverted as Brucie does because he is extroverted.  He likes people and likes being around people.  Whether by conscious choice or not, he tends to put himself in situations where he is surrounded by people in nearly all aspects of his life.  He chooses apartment buildings whose occupants frequently pass each other on the stairs; jobs that involve interacting with many co-workers, patrons, or students; and collects superhero teammates like Boy Scout badges.  And all of these behaviors come very naturally to him.  

He doesn’t need a mask or a role or a persona for those kind of interactions; his mask is pre-supplied as “neighbor” or “co-worker” or “teacher” by the situations he puts himself in.  It helps make him an exemplary leader, because just by acting authentically to himself, he automatically builds up little communities around him any time he arrives somewhere.

Bruce, on the other hand, is an introvert.  For him, interacting with people isn’t easy, automatic, or comfortable unless it has a purpose, but as a strategist, he knows the necessity of human interaction as a catalyst to achieving dynamic change. So he adapts personas to suit people’s expectations.  Extroverts have more social currency; the life of the party can generate more resources than a brooding wallflower.  

So, it boils down to just a few elements: Dick believes in living and interacting at the street level to accomplish the things that he wants to, and he is extroverted enough that the level of social interaction that entails is not a burden to him.  He surrounds himself with the types of people he is more familiar or perhaps more comfortable with, which happens to keep him further out from the media’s eye than associating with the upper crust does. The lower profile is more incidental than intentional, but it lessens his need to have a cover story for every single bruise and lets him get away with even less of a ‘persona’.

Bruce, on the other hand, is introverted and follows a more classist view that systemic change needs to be effected from the top down.   His personas are more of a self-assumed duty than a necessity, as a way of trying to carry out his parents’ legacy.  Any of his children could have chosen to follow his path in business or the high society limelight, but the sense of obligation toward it is something personal to him that most of them don’t share.

#bruce wayne #batman #dick grayson #nightwing #character analysis #dc #comics #meta #o.c. #bruce wayne analysis #bruce + dick #asks #anonymous #cover stories

[good-forthe-weekend]

Okay, so like, this blog has low key become an ACOTAR theory/headcanon blog. But here we go again. Because I’ve been thinking about the remaining books/novella, and what might be obvious about what the next book may be. So stick with me on this one, but here’s how I hope it plays out. (Gonna be really long, because 3 books worth of theories, so gonna make it a read more post)

Let’s start with what I’d like the books to be (not in a demanding bitchy way, just what I generally hope for)

Books 5 and 6 (in no particular order): Azriel, Elain/Lucien

Novella: Feyre’s pregnancy from her/Rhys’ perspective

While books 5 and 6 could be in any order, depending on the overarching plot with Koschei and everything, I really think the next book is going to be about Az. I know that the 2 main contenders for obvious choices are Az and Elain, but I don’t think their stories are meant to be told together. Their arcs are completely different. Az needs to be someone’s first choice and get over 500 years of darkness and self hatred, whereas Elain needs to find her own agency. Here’s how I’d do those things.

Az’s story, to me, is rooted in self worth. I don’t think he has much. I think that the events of his life have done everything to convince him that no matter how much good he does, no matter how many people love him, he will never be good enough. Similar to Nesta, tbh. Just rooted in different places. His family loathed him, Mor’s been stringing him along for 500 years, and most people value him for what his shadow singer abilities can do for them. I think his story should revolve around him finding self worth, and being his own first choice, but also realizing how inherently valuable he is to everyone around him. (If we get a brothers bonding moment in Az’s book, I will cry my eyes out in the best way) Now *personally*, as a lover of Gwyn, I would love to see her tie into Az’s story. (NOTE: No hate for any shippers, Gwynriel, Elriel, Elucien, idc. They’re all valid, this is a respect only zone. This is simply my personal opinion on what *I* would like to see) Gwyn has also been shown to need some help in the self worth category. She literally says how she believes she’s a bad person for not being able to save her twin. So I’d love if her and Az have parallel stories in Az’s book. Romance or not. Actually, I’d love to see them grow side by side without having to be all horny all the time. I’d love if Gwyn prioritizes her mental health and growth above having a relationship, and tells Az that she cares for/loves him, but needs time to herself before getting into a relationship. Mates wise, I do see the merit in the Gwynriel mates theories. (I’ll get into why I don’t like Elain as Az’s mate later. But also, I have no problem with Elriel, I just don’t like the idea of them being meant to be mated. Although I have this evil!Elain idea brewing in my head that would fit with Elriel being supposed to be mates that the cauldron effed up) but I also am on the fence about it, because even with my own headcanon about ACOTAR mates, I’m still getting a little tired of every single romance having to be mated.

For Elain, I have 2 theories that I favor. Either she gets kidnapped by Koschei, and her story is a loose retelling of Swan Lake, or she ends up going to the Spring Court, and we get Beauty and The Beast part 2, but different this time. Either way, I want her story to give her some damn agency and flesh out her character as more than the Cosette character whose whole personality is “Well, I went through a trauma and stayed kind”. Because there’s a way to do that meaningfully, but since it’s been coupled with her being a character that simply does not do anything for herself, it falls flat for me.

Also, side note about Elriel being mates who the cauldron messed up. I don’t care for that. First of all, I don’t think that the cauldron picked Nesta and Elain’s mates when they were Made. Which I mention in my personal theory on ACOTAR Mates, which I linked above. I think that the Cauldron picks mates when you’re born, which would mean that Elain and Lucien were always meant to be mates. Besides which, while I’m not a rabid supporter of either ship at this point, I see what people are saying about it not being a good thing that Az’s shadows disappear when Elain is around. His shadows are a part of him, they’re his friends. So I think it’s better for them to respond well to someone’s presence than disappear entirely. Also, with the light singer theories (which I see on both Gwynriel and Elriel sides), in ACOSF, it’s said that light singers weren’t good. They were beings that looked kind but ultimately were evil, just like shadow singers look all bad, but ultimately Az is an extremely kind, empathetic person with a savior complex. So, unless you want to make your fave be secretly evil (which, again fits in with this evil!Elain theory I’ve been stewing on lately) it’s probably not a good idea to say they’re ‘the light singer to Az’s shadowsinger’. ALSO ALSO. Azriel deserves to be someone’s first choice. Not their 3rd, behind the guy that the universe destined them for AND the human that they still aren’t entirely over. Azriel isn’t a ‘well, since there’s no one else to choose, I GUESS’. Azriel is someone who deserves, and should be loved as a first choice. And no matter if that person is Gwyn or not, we should see someone fall for him as a first and only choice.

Anyway, if she got kidnapped by Koschei, I’d like for everyone to freak out and be trying to save her (Lucien included, because protective fae mate), but Elain ends up saving her damn self. Without anyone knowing until she just sort of shows up somewhere in Prythian. Whereupon everyone is like “You escaped Koschei?????”, and Elain just responds “What, like it’s hard?”. I don’t have too many specifics in mind for this theory, but yeah, I’d love if that were to happen. I can even see a path for Elain and Lucien to fall for each other in that scenario, I just can’t find a way to verbalize it.

Alternatively, and hear me out on this one, I would love for her to go to the Spring Court. SJM keeps putting connections between Elain and Spring, and has even had several characters say she’d love the Spring Court. She doesn’t belong in the Night Court. And I would love, and again hear me out here, for her to help Tamlin. I know, I’m not his biggest fan either. But I don’t want him dying alone and angry either. He was an ass, and reacted poorly to many things, but I want him to grow from that. And learn how to be a better person. And not be so overprotective. How does Elain fit into this? Well, I’m not sure how to get her there, but I would love for her to end up in Spring Court, where she befriends him. Friends. Nothing more. Not a drop more. In fact, I want Tamlin to make an advance on her, thinking that he’s falling for her, only for Elain to be like “Dude, you only think you like me because I’m the one who’s been helping you, but we’re friends. We wouldn’t work as more.” Or even vice-versa. Either way, I would LOVE to have a story about a character coming into their own without a big romance, and frankly after the way Elain has treated Lucien and Az, she can stay alone (as much as I think her and Lucien would be cute together). But I also think that Elain befriending Tamlin, and eventually becoming a member of his court, could lead to some nice healing places for Feyre, and would afford her the opportunity to actually confront Tamlin about everything they went through. (It would also be cool if Tamlin made her High Lady of Spring, without them being together. Idk, I think it would be cool for him to abandon tradition so much when he held it up to a toxic level before)

‘But how does Lucien come into this?’ I hear literally no one asking because this post is so fucking long already. Well, beloved reader of this bullshit, I simply want him to officially be able to move on. I want him and Elain to have arcs that happen at the same time, and are tied loosely together, but are ultimately separate. I want Elain to find agency and finally make up her mind, and I want Lucien to call her out on stringing him along. And I ultimately want him to find peace. (And for him to find out he’s Helion’s son in the messiest way possible, but I digress) I really just want Lucien to ride off into the metaphorical sunset and be happy and content and finally value himself. If Elain is in the Spring Court, maybe call out Tamlin for the way that he abused Lucien too. As long as he ends up happy, I’m cool with it.

Also, I want a comeuppance for Mor/Eris. They’ve been hinting at something for several books now, and I damn well want to see what’s behind those hints. (I also low key want the Eris/Mor comeuppance to cause a confrontation between Az/Mor/Cass about their weird dynamic and how toxic it was, and how it kinda made Mor treat Nesta like shit. I just really want Cass to officially choose Nesta in front of the IC, esp Mor. I think it’s important for their relationship. I could go on and on about that tho.)

Personally, I kind of want Mor and Eris to have been Mates. Not only because I already ship Mor/Emerie and want to see a mated pair that don’t end up together, but I think there’s a ton of opportunity for angst there. Maybe they fell for each other, never actually let the mating bond fully set (because, up until this point we’ve never seen a mating bond click into place without sex, which we know they never had), and Mor realized that no matter how much she cared for Eris, she was in fact gay, and so she slept with Cass, and you know the rest of her story there. Eris didn’t care, and told his father that he would marry her anyway because they were in love (I don’t think he’d play his full hand and admit to being un-mated mates because it would put Mor in a whole new level of danger). Beron basically told Eris that under no circumstances would he marry Mor, and told him to abandon her completely. With a threat to Mor’s safety thrown in there for good measure (like “Go ahead, marry her. See exactly what will befall her her in the Autumn Court. It will not go well” except more eloquent and shit) When Mor’s family dumped her, I don’t think that he found her first with people with him. I think he would have found her shortly after she got left, and he’d have been alone. So he found a way to tip off Az that she was there, and staged it to look like he found her and semi-publicly abandoned her completely. Idk, I just feel like there’s a lot more to the story than we know, and given how extremely Mor responds to someone who never actually laid hands on her, I think there’s more to why she does that. Maybe it’s because she knows he’s her mate, and is terrified he’s going to get spiteful and let that info slip. I kind of want this to be a situation to be one where she didn’t outright lie about what happened, just the context, because she knew if the context was revealed, then she’d be forced to come out, so she lied by omission.

Personally, I would love for this to be a not insignificant piece of Az’s book, because I think there’s a not insignificant part of his personality that’s been influenced by Mor, so whatever comeuppance that Cass/Az/Mor have (and I’m praying they do), I hope it’s not just glossed over. I also wouldn’t hate if this story was told in the novella, but I also really want to see Feyre and Rhys’ side of their pregnancy story (I think it would be weird to have such a significant plot for them told during someone else’s story, and not give us Feyre and Rhys’ perspective). And that would really only fit in either a novella or bonus short story. Also, I think that Feyre’s pregnancy would make a better novella, and Mor/Eris would fold nicely into the plot of a book.

So yeah, there’s my ridiculously long rundown on what I want to happen/my theories for the rest of the ACOTAR series. Feel free to add/dissect/interact/tell me I’m horridly wrong. I wanna talk about these books at length so bad

#acotar #acowar #acomaf #acofas #acosf #feyre archeron #rhys #cassian #azriel #mor #eris #lucien #vanserra #beron #emerie #gwyn #nesta #elain #tamlin #theory #headcanon

[mimik-u]

“Growing Pains” Thoughts:

Dogcopter 6: Til Death Do Us Part: I Now Promounce You Man and Woof. CVVGFFRFGGGGFFFFG. The little immersion detail of the actors in the movie ofc being dogs, so they stick their tongues out at random moments is so funny.

“Everyone’s getting married but me.” JEODOFJDJDNDJDJJDJDJDJD. STEVEN, UR SIXTEEEN.

But I feel Steven @ his depression ice cream/movie binge.

Steven immediately reverting back to his normal coloring after his dad picks up. 😭

Even Greg (through Steven’s initial encouragement) has found a fulfilling lease on life through being a manager, and you can see on Steven’s face that he realizes that the perceived gulf between himself and everyone he loves is deep and wide. Everyone is moving on, and he’s in stasis.

(Just as the Gems were once upon a time—Greg, Lars, Sadie, and all the others, too.)

“It wasn’t important.” 😭😭😭

Steven’s body instinctively reacting after he opens the fridge and sees his proposal glow bracelet. 😭😭😭

Ugh, the “Full Disclosure” ringtone is still so good. And it’s a subtle reminder of the conflict from that very episode—Steven trying to repress all of his trauma.

Hhhhhhhhh, I love Priyanka Maheswaran. She’s such a good character.

“You’re sixteen years old, and you’ve never been to the DOCTOR?!”

Oh, my God, but upon noticing that her panic scared him, Priyanka does her best to soothe Steven: “It’s okay. It’s okay. I’ll have a talk with your father later.”

OH, THE X-RAYS OF THE GEMS ARE SO COOL. AND THEN THE DETAIL OF AMETHYST HAVING RANDOM STUFF IN HER STOMACH?? A+

OH, MY GOD. HE’S BEEN HEALING HIMSELF EVERY TIME HE’S BEEN SUSTAINING INJURIES.

“Well, you seem to have made a series of miraculous recoveries, but that doesn’t change the fact that you experienced trauma. You’ve recovered physically, but have you recovered mentally?” ... “Not wrong! It's that adverse childhood experiences, or childhood trauma, can have a lasting impact on how your body responds to stress.”

I’m genuinely speechless.

This is some of the most, if not the most important writing to ever come out of this series.

OH, GOD, THE MONTAGE OF ALL THE HORRIBLE THINGS THAT HAVE HAPPENED TO HIM SINCE THE STSRT OF THE SHOW

JESUS FUCMK

“Pearl did die.” Because poofing is a form of death, and Steven will always conceive of it as so.

“But that—that was just the early stuff!” 😭😭😭😭😭😭 He literally only got through, like, Season 1.

AND THEN THE MONTAGE OF EVERYTHING ELSE. JESUS CH R

And know what gets me, too? Enemies like the Diamonds and Jasper and Eyeball of course crop up in this montage, but so do the Gems and various other allies, too: Pearl’s spear almost hitting him when he was stuck in Peridot’s pod, Amethyst transforming into Rose, Peridot’s attempts to kill him, Bismuth’s attempt to kill him. Because even the people we love and forgive have the capacity to harm us. And just because we’ve forgiven them doesn’t take away the harm.

Okay. I’m crying now.

“I think all these experiences have been subjecting your body to a harmful amount of stress, and that's affecting your ability to respond to new forms of stress in a healthy way. You've been dealing with genuine threats from such a young age, your body is now responding to minor threats as if your life were in danger!” HHHHHJJNNHH FUCK ME

Upon Priyanka asking if he’s had any stressful experiences lately, Steven clutches his heart, doubles over in pain, and remembers Connie, his body then going through its most painful contortions yet. 😭😭😭 I’m losing it. This episode.

OH, GOD. SHE DIDNT TELL PRIYANKA.

“I CAN’T BE AROUND YOU RIGHT NOW.” OH MY FUCKING G O D

Him hitting his head on the ceiling makes me think about what further injuries he may have just caused himself

GREG 😭😭😭

“Connie... thank you.” / “Yeah... I’ll be here when you’re ready.” 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 Connie knew that he needed a support system, but she equally knew that it couldn’t be her at the present moment.

Connie placing her arm on her mom’s back as they walk off is leaving me tender

“I proposed to Connie... she said no.” Zach Callison’s delivery here made me cry all the fuck over againS oh my go d

“My body, it's reacting like it's the end of the world! I think I've seen the world almost end so many times now, that everything that goes wrong feels that, that extreme!” 😭😭😭😭😭

“How do I live life it always feels like I’m about to die?” I am fucking sobbin g

The lighting of the bedroom scene is so warm and ambient hhhhhhh.

Man, I love Greg: “Cut yourself some slack. It's okay to be worried and make some mistakes when you're figuring out what to do with your life. That's not unusual.”

Augshhshsushssj, this episode ending with Greg prioritizing Steven. I’m just. I’m really soft. This episode emotionally undid me.

#steven universe #priyanka maheswaran #connie maheswaran #greg universe #s: future #mimiku #you can tell I really love an episode when I start cursing vehemently in my blogs

[chidoroki]

Head empty, pre-TPN season 2 thoughts only.

Normally I don’t even bother with hiding spoilers but since the new season is so close I’ll put everything below a cut (if tumblr cooperates) because I do want anime-onlys to enjoy the season with as little knowledge to what madness is about to happen as possible. This is just a bunch of notes that filled my head over the past couple days.. weeks? A long time.. and if I didn’t write them all down somewhere I wouldn’t stop thinking about them.. so if you understand this whole mess, then kudos to you.

So, here’s your post-season 1/ch37+ spoiler warning.

Demon language:

With Mujika and Sonju making their grand first appearances, I hope actually implement the demon language this time?

The only word spoken in the language in season 1 was the demon god’s name, which was just changed to “Him” (sub) or “The One” (dub), so ignoring it there was fine.

Granted, our demon friends don’t say much in their language during the upcoming arc, aside from this moment in ch48, but I can see the anime passing it off as a mere whisper between the two of them just so they don’t have to worry about it.

I don’t recall any of the GP poachers using the language though.. right? Pretty sure they don’t..

Anyways, all I’m saying is that they better figure something out by the Ayshe shows up way later in future seasons.

Episode count? 24?

Short answer: I don’t think so? Did once, but stuff happened. Anyways..

Season 1 ended in March 2019, which is also when we learned we were getting a second season and once we found later on that S2 was originally going to air in October 2020, I immediately thought we were getting about 24 eps.

I thought with all that time between seasons, 24 eps would be reasonable and that S2 would end at ch101. S1 managed to adapt 37 chapters, so 64 chapters in a season twice as long sound decent enough, right?

By the time we reach ch101, it would give us the demon forest, shelter B06-32, Goldy Pond and the short trip to Cuvitidala. (all of which would make this long wait for s2 sooo worth it btw.)

By this point we learn a bunch about the outside world, Norman being alive, what happened to Phil, and the demon bastard himself.

I bring up ch101 as a stopping point because it’s the last chapter before the two year time skip and.. I honestly can’t see them doing a time skip mid-season?

I mean, they could if they wanted to, I guess? Having everyone age up suddenly between episodes via a montage, a quick summary or even flashbacks of what we missed.. but maybe at the start of a season? Not in the middle.

Right now we know anime original scenes are going to be included into season 2 so I’m kinda hoping that once we do eventually reach the time skip we learn more about the search Emma’s group went on for T7W/golden water/temples.

I counted. If S2 does indeed get this many episodes, ep23 (or 22, if there’s a break in between somewhere or whatever) will land on my birthday and you can bet I’ll be beyond happy

HOWEVER! all the hope I once had about a 24ep season vanished due to the clusterfuck that was 2020. Thanks to the worldwide pandemic, many anime were put on hold and pushed back several months, with TPN airing this month rather than the original October date.

It was a bummer hearing about the delay at first but I never complained about it. I much rather have the studios prioritize their employee’s health over production.

Even if S2 did reach ch101, or even Goldy Pond, they would need to find a ton of new voice actors, and with how the world is working now.. eh, I have some doubts.

Cloverworks also has two other series airing this month aside from TPN so needless to say they’ll be a bit busy, especially if employees are still working from home, social distancing, or however they’re managing to produce these anime.

So, episode count.. 12?

The main reason I have a hard time grasping the idea of another 12ep season at all is because.. I don’t know where it’ll be a decent place for it to stop?

S1 ending at ch37 with the kids escaping? Perfect. You can’t question that decision. But now? When a whole bunch of craziness is about happen? How do you choose another perfect moment to end a season with?

No matter how many anime original scenes they have planned for the demon forest, I believe we’ll at least reach B06-32, which will get us to ch52.

Could they go farther? Sure. Perhaps ending at ch59-60? It would leave us off with Emma & Ray leaving the comfort of the shelter to follow Yuugo into yet another demon infested forest, much like how S1 left off, as the escapees left their once safe, comfortable life into the unknown world.

Or end at ch64? After Emma gets snatched by the poachers? It could work. It would certainly leave everyone wanting more, especially us manga readers because goddamn the GP arc would be SO close!

Perhaps ch74 after seeing Norman alive? Just so it’s not a big darn secret anymore to those who are going into this season blind? (how do people manage to stay anime only? i’m not trying to make anyone feel bad.. i’m just impressed? i caught up to the manga right after s1 because i didn’t have the self control to wait!)

Ending on that chapter would be so bittersweet to me.. because you know what appears in ch75 and it’s literally one of the only things I care about.

S2 preview trailers already teased some of the demon forest scenes I’m most excited about, so the only things left that will truly excite me are Yuugo and that darn outfit. (seriously, whenever we do get to see emma in her gp outfit for the first time, someone better scream at me so i can die from happiness.)

Okay, and all the GP kids too.. especially their trio!

Could they fit the Goldy Pond arc into a 12 episode season along with every other event that came before it? I.. seriously hope not? 

Compared to s1, which was very dialogue heavy, GP is about as action packed as we’re gonna get in the near future, and those scenes are going to fly by once they get put into motion.

Quick example (because it was recent and i can’t think of something else atm): the Overhaul arc from My Hero Academia. Off the top my head it was about 40 total ch? That arc took up half of the show’s S4, which was a total 25 eps.

So with the GP ending at ch96, it’ll give us about 20-30 chapters (depending on where you personally see the start of this arc I guess? once yuugo leads the duo through the forest, when emma gets snatched or when the battle actually starts)

If GP were to happen in s2 where there’s 12 episodes.. literally everything would be so fast paced and I don’t want them to rush anything or leave stuff out?

Other options?

It’s very wishful thinking and I would be getting my hopes up for nothing, because I know it won’t happen, but I could possibly see them fitting GP arc if S2 was made up of 18eps?

6 eps for the demon forest, 6 for Goldy pPond, the remaining 6 to accommodate B06-32, Cuvitidala and any other anime original scenes as they wish.

Although fitting about 64 chapters into 12-18 episodes sounds a bit much.. but not really? I seriously have no idea at this point how much story we’re going to cover this season.

Could I perhaps place all my hopes towards a second cour later this year? Like for the summer.. or would I be expecting too much?

This all could’ve been avoided if they just tell us! Seriously, I’ve been thinking about episode count since last year.. and now you have to deal with this mindless chatter of mine.

I’d honestly be okay with another 12ep season though. We waited this long that I’ll just be excited to see all the children again.

Anime-only scenes:

Those 3 days the children spent learning from our demon friends? Yes please! Did you know Emma not only learned how to use a bow and arrow but a freakin’ harpoon as well? Like.. hello?? I must see this!

Perhaps they’ll even adopt some of the extra pages from some of the chapters, like they did in S1 with the flashback of Norman being sick in ep10.

I know this will be such a high hope, but I remember in ch177 how Emma claims that after they escaped, they all remembered how kind Isabella really was, so if they decide to adapt the extras from ch41-42 & ch45, I’ll cry.

And these pages? Cloverworks, please..

I’m literally begging here..

Especially these two! Even though I still doubt we’ll reach Goldy Pond if we get 12eps.. but in the future! Please!

Other random nonsense:

I may or may not get emotional upon seeing Isabella at the very start when she goes to confront Grandma Sarah. If her hair is kept down as it was at the end of S1 then I’ll give the anime staff my sincere thanks.

We only heard 15 seconds of “Identity” and yet it has been living in my head rent free ever since that trailer dropped. I need to hear the full song sooo damn badly, y’all have no idea.

Here’s hoping they don’t cut out the inner monologues again. At this moment I don’t remember any specific ones from the demon forest I want to see but I’m sure they’re present.

I’m ready to die at every cute Chris moment they give us.. and this entire scene where the kids scold Ray. 

Literally every scene with Emma & Ray. They’re my top 2 favorites from this series okay? Of course I’m going to fangirl over them. (they already showed the hug in one of the trailers and i damn near cried)

If we see him, (which i’m sure we will, but i still have tiny some doubts) I hope they give Yuugo a fantastic voice actor.

Also, his nicknames for everyone!! Literally everything about that man I’m hyped for.

Again, very doubtful we’ll get GP in a 12ep season, but whenever that arc decides to grace us with its presence, “63194” better play on full blast when ch92-93 gets animated.

Speaking of music, while I’m completely excited to hear the new OST that Obata has in store for us (thank god he’s doing this season again btw!), I hope we hear some of those unused tracks from the first season, specifically “Their Own Thoughts.”

Every time Emma mentions their future, their goals or how her family will always be together, I’ll cry. (thanks demon god and your stupid reward)

Yes I’ll be doing those reaction posts (if you follow me i’m sure you’ve seen them by now) after every new episode as I do with other series I watch.. once I survive the usual long day at work, avoiding anything TPN related so I can watch in peace and quiet when I finally get home.. damn it, im already so anxious, help.

#the promised neverland #chidoroki used chatter

[hedon1sm]

7, 8, 18, 28, 33, 71, 88, 94, 95?

HERE WE GO. HOO BOY

7. Describe your character’s current appearance: clothes, armor, scars they’ve picked up along the journey, etc.

amadeus is a half-orc, with his other half being high elf, which has influenced his appearance a bit. he has finer features than typically present in a half orc and longer ears. he’s 5′7″, and has his tusks !! he’s a light olive green and has hazel eyes. he has black, Kind Of Hozier-Like hair with the front pieces a light orange (literally e-girl streaks). he typically has some of the front pieces braided into the back in a small ponytail or bun to keep out of his eyes! he has dimples, 2 beauty marks (right eye and left bottom lip), and a gold nose ring (left nostril). he wears a funky little dusty pink cropped jacket with golden accents, with a few inner pockets he keeps flowers in. under this he just has a typical off-white fantasy undershirt. he wears burnt orange corduroy pants (kind of straight, wide legged) and fantasy doc martens. he always has his lute on him, which is decorated in engravings of flowers. under his shirt he has an amulet of correllon.

juniper: he’s a 6′5″ human. he’s very pale, and his hair is a very pale shade of blond as well. he parts on his left side and tucks it behind his ears, and it goes a bit past his chin but not yet to his shoulders. his eyes are a very pale shade of blue and have an emptiness to them. he has 3, completely straight burn scars on him. one goes from his left, lower eyelid down to his jawline. the other two are each on the outer forearm, from elbow to middle finger knuckle. he has 2 earrings - the left one is dangly, and has 3 stars on it. the right one is a small hoop with turquoise Kinda beads on it. he wears a light blue ...typical fantasy shirt tucked into high waisted, Kinda Corset Laced blank pants tucked into typical fantasy dark brown boots. over this, he wears a dark burgundy coat with a brown fur lining and orange accents. he has a large burn scar on his body, some of which peaks out onto the right side of his neck and a small bit of the front right. AND, AS OF LAST SESSION, HE HAS SILVER ROUND-ISH GLASSES!

ekstaz: 6′2 tiefling - their horns are like a gazelle’s and add a couple of inches of height. they have very sharp, almost gaunt features. their eyes are completely dark, and their skin is a very...weird shade of blue. you know when you stain someone with blue and it never comes out? it’s like that blue. they have puffy dark blue (almost black) hair that’s a little all over the place. they have multiple facial and ear piercings and a slitted eyebrow, and a few piercings on their horns. there is a decorated chain that connects the two. they wear a choker with a dark purple gem on it. they wear kind of traditional (what we could call) russian clothing, with embroidery in shades of green that they did themself. a sleeveless forest green cloak layers on top of their tunic and is topped with a thick embroidered sash tied in the back. they tuck their pants into tall, black, fantasy-ish demonia boots (like buckles fucking everywhere and a good 3 inch platform). they have a devilish looking tail with piercings on the tip.

8. What location encountered in the campaign has your character felt the most “at home” in, or just generally liked the most?

amadeus: THEY’RE ABOUT TO LITERALLY GO TO HIS HOME. SO.

juniper: NOPE! fuck no. he misses the boat a little bit but that’s fucking it.

ekstaz: this campaign hasn’t started yet but let’s just say xhorhas

18. What would your character’s Zodiac sign be, following stereotypical astrology?

amadeus is an aquarius sun, libra moon, taurus rising with a gemini venus. he’s a stupid air sign himbo.

juniper is a disgusting pisces but it makes a lot of sense for him. idk any of his other signs but he definitely doesn’t have any earth in him.

ekstaz is a gemini sun, virgo moon, and aquarius rising :)

28. What is currently motivating your character to stay with the party?

amadeus....well they’re literally going to his house. he’s just interested in them all and also they all were kind of made to fight some fucking shadow things together without even knowing eachother so he feels like now he has to but he doesn’t have a huge problem bc they all seem nice

juniper: answered here!

ekstaz: campaign hasn’t started yet, but their reasoning would probably be they don’t really feel that strong by themself.

33. What person does your character admire most?

amadeus: his dad :)

juniper: ori

ekstaz: their deceased boyfriend

71. Describe how your character feels about the party’s current situation/objective/etc.

amadeus really doesn’t want to do something that’ll end up with him being banned from well. Literally where he lives and has lived for most of his life. but also, this really nice lady just wants help and he really is a people pleaser. plus she even asked him if he knew where something was.

juniper literally just wants to leave barovia with everyone else and will do fucking anything at this point to do that.

ekstaz has no objective yet but they feel frustrated that they even have to go and find out about the whereabouts of their mother.

88. Where does your character see themselves in 20 years?

amadeus sees himself like....playing big and doing like fantasy tours and stuff and maybe being married and making other half-orc kids happy because he didn’t really get to know that when he was a kid

juniper sees himself as dead. he knows it’s what’s going to happen. 

ekstaz sees them like....maybe finally being able to live in rosohna? maybe rid of this big fucking weight from their patron on their shoulder? they don’t like it anymore.

94. What is your character’s biggest flaw?

amadeus...  Superficially his height. non-superficially, he thinks he is too deflective about his own state, and worries too much about others instead of prioritizing himself. he definitely has a lot of underlying issues he doesn't acknowledge.

juniper he’s SUCH AN ASSHOLE!!!! he has no complex emotions and is so blunt but also like he can’t help it!!!! he has trauma!!!! 

ekstaz is also kind of an asshole but in a different way. they don’t allow anyone to even come close to them.

95. How did your character learn the languages that they speak?

amadeus learned common as its...well the common language throughout most of wildemount. elvish from his mother, he’s picked up dwarvish throughout the years, and orcish from his father :)

juniper is only fluent in lijaa and avanti. he grew up in the lijaakoti and that’s the common language there, but has been a primary avanti speaker for most of his life because ~trauma~

ekstaz knows common and infernal. again, common is the common language. infernal from their ...well infernal heritage and is what they mostly speak with their family.

#amadeus meadows #juniper #ekstaz bezumiye #dnd talk #THIS TOOK SO LONG BUT THANK YOU #burnpygmalion

[vernonfielding]

I got hella homies

Story No. 29 of my Season 7 Countdown Project.

Summary: “Boyle says you brought Jocelyn to Shaw's last week.”

Jocelyn meets (most of) the Nine-Nine. Takes place before The Therapist. (Read on AO3.)

She notices Amy Santiago first, because Amy is standing at the bar wearing a full police uniform, and also, she has incredibly shiny hair, and Jocelyn’s always had a thing for brunettes.

Jocelyn pauses at the threshold of Shaw’s, eyes scanning from Amy to the booths that line the walls, until she finds the one loud group sprawled around a table toward the back. She squints, trying to identify Rosa, and that’s when someone slides up behind her and says, “Don’t move.”

Jocelyn bites her lip to keep from grinning. Rosa smells like fresh lemons and leather and just now, bourbon.

“Or what?”

A hand slips onto her hip and squeezes, and Rosa says, “Or you won’t get the first shower tomorrow morning.”

She gives Jocelyn a quick peck on the cheek, and Jocelyn lifts an eyebrow. “You should probably be careful about sneaking up behind people in a cop bar,” she says.

Rosa shrugs. “I just wanted a second alone before you meet everyone.”

“That’s sweet,” Jocelyn says. She knows Rosa will hate that, and sure enough, Rosa frowns and grimaces.

“C’mon,” she says, and tugs at Jocelyn’s hand.

Jocelyn had picked the right table, and she’s able to identify everyone else even before Rosa makes the introductions. Charles has an open, friendly face and kind eyes, and he’s wearing a tan button-down shirt and the dullest brown tie Jocelyn’s ever seen. Terry is massive and very handsome, but it’s the suspenders that give him away. Amy has re-joined the table and is sitting beside her husband. Jake is the last one she places, because she’s having trouble reconciling this man with the goofy grin and laughing eyes with the obsessed, sleep-deprived, manic detective Rosa described working with on a recent murder investigation. 

“Everyone, this is Jocelyn,” Rosa says. “Don’t be weird to her.”

“Hurtful,” Jake says, but he’s smiling, He has an arm slung around Amy’s shoulders, and he leans over the table and reaches toward Jocelyn to shake hands. “You have neat hair.”

“That was weird,” Rosa says.

+++

Jocelyn’s politics swing way left and she’s definitely never dated a cop before. But Rosa is confident and assertive and Jocelyn finds that extremely attractive, and to be honest, the fact that she carries a gun is weirdly hot. She is eagerly anticipating the day she finally gets to see Rosa in uniform.

She knows the past year hasn’t been easy, since Rosa came out to her parents. Jocelyn’s glad she did it -- to be honest, she doesn’t date people who aren’t out anymore. She gets why people stay closeted, she really does. But Jocelyn has been out since middle school and even at age 14 she knew that if someone couldn’t handle who she was, that person wasn’t worth the trouble. Now she’s 38, and she won’t be anyone’s secret.

So yeah, this feels good, squeezed into a booth at the back of a dingy cop bar with Rosa and her friends. Jake and Charles are shout-singing to Taylor Swift and Amy is pretending to be embarrassed but obviously loving it. Terry tells the table in general that he’s texting his wife that he’ll be home in time to put the twins to bed. And Rosa is definitely sitting closer to Jocelyn than she needs to, one hand on Jocelyn’s knee under the table.

+++

The invitation to join Rosa at Shaw’s came out of nowhere, which has been pretty standard. They’ve been dating a little over three months, and for most of that time Rosa’s been on the murder case with Jake, which means a lot of their dates have been spontaneous and pretty casual. (Rosa also has canceled a lot, which ordinarily would be a deal-breaker for Jocelyn, but Rosa did warn her that a detective’s life can be chaotic.)

Jocelyn got the text as she was leaving her frosting and highlighting class, the last of the day, and wondering if she should see if Rosa was free for dinner. She answered yes immediately and did a literal 180 to catch a train to Prospect Heights. Jocelyn has been dying to meet Rosa’s coworkers, who are clearly the most important people in her life given how much she talks about them. Which, honestly, isn’t a lot, but still about five times more than anyone else.

Still, she was a little afraid that the night would be all cop talk. But the Nine-Nine takes her by surprise. Ten minutes after she’s met them Charles has taken out a stack of actual printed photos of his son Nikolaj and is asking Jocelyn if she’s ever had Latvian beetroot soup, and then Terry has to show her photos (on his phone, like a normal person) of his daughters. After that Jocelyn can’t resist sharing a photo of her niece, who’s just eight months old and sadly lives on the other side of the country.

Then Amy asks her about cosmetology school and says that Jake is right, that her hair is neat.

“I’ve always wanted to try short hair but I’m afraid I don’t have the face for it,” Amy says.

“You should come by the school some time for a consultation,” Jocelyn says, tilting her head to imagine a look for Amy. “I could totally cut it for you.”

“No way!” Jake says firmly, mouth gone suddenly all pouty.

Jocelyn feels a punch of knee-jerk rage, that this guy would dare tell his wife what she can and can’t do with her hair. She opens her mouth, ready to lay into him.

And then Jake says, “You said I could cut your hair if you ever decided to go short!”

Amy rolls her eyes. “No, you are not allowed to cut my hair with the paper cutter at work. We’ve talked about this.”

“My wife is the worst,” Jake says in a whine. But he’s smiling and his eyes have gone all crinkly in the corners, and Amy tips her face up to his and kisses the corner of his mouth.

“Sorry, babe,” she says.

So Jocelyn decides that Jake and Amy are adorable and she wishes she could have been at their wedding, which Rosa said was the most romantic shit she’s ever seen, and that was after the bomb scare.

After a second round, Jocelyn asks if the captain ever joins them for drinks and Amy says, “I wish” in a dreamy sort of voice, and then she and Charles launch into a story about Holt single-handedly saving Shaw’s by drinking himself sick on Charbonnay. 

“Cabernet?” Jocelyn says.

“No,” Rosa says, looking like the very thought of that particular alcohol is going to give her a hangover. Jocelyn drops the subject.

“When do I get to meet him?” she says instead.

“Holt?” Rosa shrugs. “He’s not very social.”

“Are you kidding?” Charles calls out from Rosa’s other side. He leans over the table to address Jocelyn. “Captain Holt and Kevin love Rosa. I bet they’d have you over for Kevin’s famous white rice. I’m dying to try it but I’m not allowed in their home after last year’s tofu incident.”

Jocelyn has so many questions. “What’s the tofu-”

“Don’t ask,” Rosa says. “We should go.”

Everyone ends up leaving at once. Outside the bar, Charles gives Jocelyn a too-long hug, and Terry tells her he’s so glad they met and then seems to tear up a little and walks away in a hurry. Amy’s goodbye handshake is bone-crushing but her smile is genuine.

Jake pulls Jocelyn aside while Amy and Rosa are discussing a murder case and, improbably, blood-sniffing flies. He tells her in a hushed voice that he’s never seen Rosa happier in a relationship, and then he makes her swear to never tell Rosa he said that. (Jake also calls her Jackie, but he’s so friendly about it that she instantly forgives him.)

Rosa walks her home, and they hold hands and Jocelyn gushes about how great her coworkers are. “I wasn’t expecting to like a bunch of NYPD cops so much,” she says.

It’s dark out and Rosa is pretty inscrutable at all times anyway. But as they pass under a streetlamp, Jocelyn’s pretty sure she sees the smallest quirk of a smile.

“Yeah,” Rosa says, “they’re not bad, I guess.”

Jocelyn laughs. She recognizes high praise from her girlfriend when she hears it.

“Speaking of not bad,” Jocelyn says, and pauses, tugging at Rosa’s hand to make her stop too. She slips her arms around Rosa’s waist, and Rosa gives her another of those half-smiles and lifts a hand up to Jocelyn’s face. When they kiss, Rosa’s lips are full and soft and warm, and the slide of her tongue is electric. Jocelyn closes her eyes and hums a little, and Rosa strokes a thumb along her jawline, to the pulse point behind her ear. Her other hand curls around Jocelyn’s neck to pull her closer.

They’re both a little breathless when they break apart. Rosa’s eyes are so dark they’re almost black, but there’s a spark of something fond and joyful in them. She reaches up to brush aside the bangs that have slipped over Jocelyn’s forehead.

“They’re right,” she says, “your hair is neat.”

Jocelyn laughs out loud, and Rosa’s laughing too when they kiss again.

End Notes:

Title is from Feed the Beast (Bash Brothers).

Another massive thank you to @exploding-snapple, who put together a most amazing timeline of Season 6 without which I would have been totally lost trying to figure out the timing of this story. According to her timeline, Rosa and Jocelyn would have started dating around late December/early January of 2018-19. So by the time Jocelyn met everyone (in early April) they would have been dating about three months. (If that’s wrong for some reason, blame my math, not explodingsnapple’s timeline.)

Interestingly, much of their early dating would have taken place during The Crime Scene, which must have been intense, and perhaps influenced Jocelyn’s eventual frustration that Rosa consistently prioritizes her job over her girlfriend. (Canon is fun!)

I purposefully had Rosa sharing quite a bit of personal info about her coworkers with Jocelyn, which I realize runs counter to the Rosa we know. But my thinking is that Rosa really, really likes Jocelyn, and is maybe making an effort to be open with her. Plus, I think Rosa really loves her Nine-Nine family and would maybe want to talk about them, at this point in her life. Anyway, obviously that’s all open to interpretation.

#b99 fic #b99 season 7 countdown project #missing scene #the therapist #rosa/jocelyn #rosa diaz #jocelyn pryce #amy santiago #jake peralta #charles boyle #terry jeffords

[feitanswife]

Big long rant about what makes a good rival in Pokémon, subtext, plots that show rather than tell, character-focused narratives, and how much I FUCKING HATE ROSE

So seeing as I unceremoniously decided to design a Pokémon game as aneans of venting my anger at how tumblr discourse stole all the confidence I ever had, I’ve been researching what it is people like in a Pokémon game.

And I’ve realized something.

When it comes to rivals, SwSh accomplished what X and Y tried and failed to do.

Everyone says X and Y have terrible rivals, the worst in the series, and they’re pretty much right. But I could never bring myself to dislike the set up. It had good ideas

Good ideas that SwSh accomplished thoroughly.

The set up is something we only see in those two games: a large group of rivals, each with a different goal and personality. Some are nicer, some are more competitive, some don’t seem to care about the main point of the game much at all.

That SwSh did well was make each one of them still involved in being a trainer. Where X and Y failed was in making the rivals goals too varied, only one of them even cared about getting badges!

But in SwSh, everyone cared about getting badges and becoming stronger for different reasons

You want to dethrone Leon, beating a trainer who has never been beaten.

Hop is standing in his brother’s shadow and wants to beat him to gain the approval of those around him, (especially his family who don’t even have any pictures of Hop on the wall or anything)

Marnie wants to help her hometown and her family who are suffering from neglect by the government.

Bede wants the approval of Rose, his adoptive father who doesn’t give a shit about him .

All of these characters have different personalities, interests, motivations, and end goals, but they all are competing for the same title as a means to accomplish those separate goals.

The goal is not to be the champion, becoming the champion is a means to accomplish your goals.

Also, notably two characters have VERY similar goals, those being Hop and Bede, both seeking validation and approval, but their personalities are so different that you almost don’t notice how much their characters parallel.

That’s something about SwSh I really liked actually, the reliance on subtext. In a shocking irony, the first Pokémon game with any form of free camera, relies on a very narrow narrative view. You miss most of the “plot” But that doesn’t mean it isn’t happening.

No one tells you that Hop is the least favored child, that he’s constantly being compared to Leon and crushing under the weight of it. But Hop’s entire personality is built on being a people pleaser, of idolizing his brother, of being better because he’s Leon’s brother so he has to be. He’s clingy, so fucking clingy. Almost like he’s scared you’re going to leave him. His facade is shattered by one insult from Bede. His arc is told through his battles, constantly switching out his team, even replacing his first ever Pokémon, his Wooloo, for a few battles.

Rose forgets his adopted sons name who the fuck does that????? Bede has a Rolex but no father figure. Oleana sure as fuck doesn’t care about the kid, she doesn’t care about anything but her man (who walks around in public dressed like he got dressed in a dark dumpster btw)

And more on Rose, can we talk about how much the tower and Leon’s place in it means??? Like the whole game Leon is never seen wearing ANYTHING but his uniform, which is ugly as sin. That was on purpose. That isn’t really Leon’s outfit. That’s the outfit he’s forced to wear by the league. Once he’s no longer champion and out from under Rose’s thumb? He gets to dress however he wants, and his new outfit rally FEELS like Leon, it’s extravagant, it’s kinda funny, he keeps the hat but wears a suit, and it’s unabashedly HIS. He got a huge glow up in post game because he finally had the chance to be himself! Same with Bede!

Rose is toxic. There, I said it. Your MCM is fucking toxic and fucks up all his interpersonal relationships whether he knows it or not, he canonically cannot prioritize for shit, he was more worried about something thousands of years in the future than the thing happening the next day, and Oleana was a fucking enabler full stop.

The Galar region runs on Dynamax to the point where their biggest power plant is also a stadium. Very little is known about Dynamaxing other than one time it happened everywhere and was apocalyptic. Yet the entire region depends on it.

Who speaks out about how batshit this is? Piers. Whose town is in shambles, completely neglected by Rose, the de facto political leader of the region? Piers. Rose was willing to abandon a whole city because their gym leader didn’t fucking like Dynamaxing.

Leon not having any sense of direction is A FUCKING METAPHOR FOR HOW HE HASNT EVER HAD CONTROL OVER HIS LIFE BECAUSE HE WAS DEPENDANT ON ROSE’S SPONSORSHIP AND THUS HAS NO EXPERIENCE IN DIRECTING HIMSELF

The sponsorship mechanic is just as skeevy in Pokémon as it is irl! Just saying! You want to keep your spot? Better do everything the advertisers want cause they own your soul now!

The fact that you don’t know what exactly happened when Leon and Sonia ran off to fix shit, that doesn’t matter. That’s not the point! The plot was never about fighting through hoarded of grunts while an evil team leader laughs maniacally in the distance! We’re not in gen 1 anymore! We have actual narratives now!

Because SwSh is not the story of how Rose tried to fix an energy crisis by summoning ancient gods and causing an apocalypse. We had a few of those already!

If you want ducky psuedoscience masquerading as environmentalism might I direct you to gen 3?

Oh if you want batshit depressed scientists with enough money to make it everyone else’s problem too, gen 4 and gen 6 did that.

Want a generic bad guy who just turns out to be a punching bag for the player with very little proper motivation? There’s been like 10 Kanto games I’m sure you’ll get your Giovanni fix somewhere.

SwSh is the story of how selfishness, misplaced priorities, and enabling others toxic behavior will fuck up everyone around you.

Leon has no direction because he’s been a puppet since the day he let Rose sponsor him

Bede has no confidence because the closest thing he had to a family neglected him

Hop has no goal outside of Leon because he’s never been allowed to be anything but Leon’s little brother

Marnie has to take on all the responsibility for Spikemuth because her brother has lost his influence after falling out of Rose’s favor

Tl:Dr

the only reason people say SwSh has no story is because they literally have no idea what the word subtext means, didn’t bother to pay attention to the relationships between the characters, and wanted a stereotypical Fight The Evil Team plot so they can make Rose into one of their Big Baddie Daddies™️ when in reality he’s just a petulant man child who should have never been put in charge of anything, had absolute power over the region, and traumatized a bunch of children FOR LITERALLY NO FUCKING REASON

Maybe if you didn’t cheat your way through highschool English it would make sense you half-baked reddit-crawling dorito gremlins

[cblgblog]

The infantilization of Bucky Barnes amongst certain corners of fandom disturbs me greatly, especially in a post Endgame world.

“But Steve left Bucky all alone!”

Not really. A, he came back 10 seconds later, B, it’s confirmed by the creatives that Bucky knew what Steve was planning and supported the choice, and C, no, Bucky wasn’t left alone. He was left with T’Challa and Shuri, who he’s frankly probably spent more time with than he has Steve in recent years. He was left with Sam, who’s actual job it is to help support veterans and PTSD victims. He was left with a support system.

And you know what else? He’s a strong man, who is healing. I know that sucks for everyone who wants to see their fanfics made real (Bucky being unable to operate a microwave on his own, or walk 6 feet without Steve supporting him or vice-versa), but it’s true. Bucky is healing. Is he healed completely? No, and he probably never will be. Neither will Steve or Sam or anyone. Sam says it in Winter Soldier. The trauma doesn’t magically disappear, you just learn to cope with it as best you can. What was Steve supposed to do? Sacrifice any other wants and desires he might have had for the rest of his life, so he could be Bucky’s emotional support dog until Bucky was all the way better? Something that was never, ever going to happen, because that’s just not how trauma works? Steve’s not allowed to care about anyone or anything else besides Bucky, because that’s clearly how all human beings work?

Why is Bucky’s trauma more important than Steve’s? Why are Bucky’s needs (needs he doesn’t even have outside of fanfiction) prioritized over Steve’s?

Speaking of needs he doesn’t even have outside fic. Bucky can function without Steve. Which I guess is offensive to some people, but it’s true. 2014 was when he started coming back to himself. He fished Steve out of the river, and left. As his memories returned and he started to stabilize, he had to know Steve was going to look for him, or at least suspect. He hid from everyone, including Steve, for 2 more years, and he was doing pretty damn well. He wasn’t a blubbering mess, his apartment was prepped for a quick escape, which means he was thinking clearly about at least some things. He was able to go outside, function like a normal person. Had he needed Steve that badly, he could have contacted him somehow. He’s incredibly well-trained, was even before Hydra grabbed him, and the Avengers aren’t exactly a secretive operation. They especially weren’t in a pre-Civil War MCU.

But the shame, the guilt, Bucky must’ve thought Steve would hate him! Maybe, even though Steve is ready to let himself die in WS just to prove that he believes in Bucky, trusts him. But, maybe. But them, Civil War. Civil War proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that Steve blames Bucky for absolutely nothing. Does Bucky immediately attach himself to Steve’s hip, because Steve is the only one who can possibly save him?

No. He goes to Wakanda, because they both recognize that T’Challa and Co. are in a better position to treat Bucky, especially now, when Steve’s a wanted man. Steve asks Bucky if he’s sure about this. Bucky says it’s the best thing for everybody, until he can trust his own mind. This wasn’t forced on Bucky. Steve asking if he’s sure is proof he wouldn’t have allowed it to be done without Bucky’s consent. We don’t know how long Bucky was completely under for, but it’s said by the creatives that Steve did visit Wakanda between CW and IW, during Bucky’s recovery.

Steve visited. He was not holding Bucky’s hand every second of the day for two years.

2014 to 2018. 2 years of no contact with Steve, maybe even actively avoiding him. 2 years of intermittent contact, at best.

Bucky can survive without Steve. He did it for several years before Endgame, mostly by his own choice. Bucky understands better than most of his fandom that Steve is not capable of “fixing” Bucky all on his own. It is not Steve’s job to do that, either. It’s his job to be a supportive friend, and do everything he can reasonably do to help, which he more than lived up to, for two movies in a row.

Bucky got to choose how he lived his life post WS. His choices were limited by his circumstances, but ultimately, he chose more than once to live without Steve as a crutch. And he did it well.

Steve did not abandon Bucky. He told Bucky what he was doing, and yes, maybe that should have been in the film, but the creatives were clearly looking to leave us guessing until the end about the movie’s conclusion. Bucky still knew. He did not ask Steve to stay behind with him, just as he did not ask Steve to hang around for 2 years in Wakanda with him while the rest of Team Cap went on without him.

But, but, the end of the line! What about the end of the goddamn line!

So, if a friend says that they will always be there for you, that you will always be friends, are you going to throw a fit if they then, years later, get married and move away? Is that friend literally meant to stay by your side until one of you dies? Neither of you can move to a new location, or form meaningful relationships outside of each other? That’s not a healthy relationship, that’s co-dependency taken to frightening levels.

Bucky loves Steve. Steve loves Bucky. That doesn’t mean that Steve’s only function in life is to heal poor, wounded Bucky. Bucky is neither of those things. Bucky has proven again and again that he can live without Steve holding his hand and wiping his man tears. Bucky is not a broken toy for Steve to fix. Bucky is a capable adult man who loves Steve and wants him to be happy.

#anti stucky #anti stucky stans

[yawmanzo]

Yaws Personal Reflection on Touken

When I first watched/really read Tokyo ghoul, although I shipped Touken to get together eventually by some point; I didn't really understand why they fall so hard for each other at first. Upon looking back however, a lot of that could be attributed to the very nature of both characters. Touka (read here for my reflection on her) with a harsh/lashing out and violent exterior due to the violent past in which she grew up in as a ghoul, whilst still having a gentle interior and being selfless in most cases wanting to help others even whilst getting herself hurt.

Kaneki with a gentle exterior, yet a violent interior due to his own past and misgivings that we all know of as a human and being selfish in wanting to be needed by others and unconsciously hurting others by trying to burden everything upon himself and not fully rely on others.

I've noticed how Ishida likes portraying the values of Yin and Yang between the two (depicting them as polar opposites attracting and being complementary/interconnected/interdependent with some similarities as well, he did explicitly say they are characters of a set after all when he came up with them). Passive/ Active. Strong/Weak. Black/White. Direct/Indirect. Selfish/Selfless. Human/Ghoul. Harsh/Kind.

These terms aren't purely static stances but rather semblances of self that each saw/admired/invoked in the other, both positive and negative.

Kaneki said human relationships are like chemical reactions, if you have a reaction, you can't return back to your previous state of being.

Touka was there and saved Kaneki numerous times in Part 1 when he desperately needed someone the most aside from Hide and the others, while Kaneki also saved her several times.

What I love is the evolution of their feelings and relationship that started out pretty horribly with both seeing each other in a negative light as human (living a good peaceful life) and ghoul (being an evil killing monster).

The fact that a human becoming a half ghoul developed to be able to care and fall in love with a full ghoul that hated herself, the world, struggled working and living life as a human and ghoul is really phenomenal narratively speaking. Kaneki saw past all of Touka's violent exterior anger issues and looked at the gentle interior she possessed when it comes to how much she cares about people other than herself, even as a murderer. “If you died Touka-chan, I'd probably be sad”.

That line is so simple, yet for Touka it created a lasting impression since no one in her life really in viewed that kind value upon her, also count in her abandonment issues in always being left alone (Hikari, Arata, Ayato, later the Anteiku crew at the end of part 1).

Even if she had the Anteiku crew, no one truly gave that emphatic value about her life having importance and worth as a ghoul trying to LIVE in the human world amongst all the killing and violent predicaments of murder in the world, not even her uncle Renji or old man Yoshimura, even though they did look out for her. Meanwhile for Kaneki he felt like he belonged somewhere, again his most desperate desire. He felt needed as their friendship grew in training, fighting and working together, he wasn't alone anymore.

Even after getting separated after the Aogiri arc (about 6 months) and the Re time skip (about 3 years) you could always notice the subtle mentions of how much both thought of each other, Touka wanting to see him again and especially from Kaneki’s perspective even after each personality change in always mentioning Touka and Hide separately from every other important person in his life.

All personalities have mentioned her separately from everyone else (yes even centipede), “The others, Touka-chan and Hide”.

Even with the infamous bridge scene in part 1, Hide entrusted and helped Touka to expose Kaneki. And she did, however she unfortunately fell back on her violent anger issues and communication problems in truly conveying what she felt to Kaneki due to what can be seen as her fury at him being just like Arata and even Ayato to an extent. Kaneki promised never to leave her, yet he lied and left her to become stronger and shoulder all the burdens of everyone by himself in some tragic hero manner. Yet this time Kaneki genuinely believed his own lies, wanting to sacrifice himself to protect others when he said he wouldn't leave them.

However, unknown to Touka at that time, that encounter made Kaneki want to go back to Anteiku. “Touka, can I come back?”.

Haise sees her after 3 years at the second Anteiku home “Re” and cries after seeing that Touka was still alive after all this time and the encounter is titled “Inherited feelings”. Not for the person he knew the most in terms of time span, but for the beautiful person that created such a huge impression on him at the most vulnerable periods of his life after becoming a half ghoul and not having a true grasp on both worlds and companionship.

Is it unrealistic that Touka waited over 3 years for him and still had feelings only for him? “Even if time has passed, even if our bodies have changed, even if he had forgotten me completely... As long as he comes back home, things will be alright”.

Mostly yes for the majority but not strictly no… I view everything as not strictly one way with this; the main thing is about deep impressions that both instilled in each other, kinda like Star Crossed lovers, “I have faith in him, he will return”.

Touka was even willing to prioritize Kaneki’s own happiness and well being over hers as Haise in not forcing him to come back, but waiting for him come back of his own free will, even with all the new relationships Haise/Kaneki developed with other characters like the Qs family.

Time, change and distance never stopped them from still yearning to see the other, even amongst them both living different lives with different people and settings in part 2 of Re, most notably Haise/Kaneki with the Qs, CCG, Juuzou, Akira, Arima, Eto etc. Haise often visited Re just to look at her like he did with Rize even with his suppressed memories, even at times wondering what that girl(Touka) was up to. “I wonder what that person is doing today, on a date maybe?”.

Fast forward later to Touka also wondering about what Kaneki was up to in their 121-122 conversation... “Are you a virgin?”.

Black Reaper, the most savage,harsh and suicidal personality even changed his whole stance on dying simply upon looking at Touka in Cochlea.

This was also reinforced by Arimas threats in killing his ghoul friends, and the Hide inner dialogue about eventually finding a reason to live. I viewed this as a reverse of “If you died, I'd be sad” from part 1, both were scared at the very thought of the other dying. This time Touka is the gentle and kind exterior, Kaneki the violent harsh exterior not caring about his own life until someone reminded him the value of his life and the people that still care about that life. “Your life has MEANING, to us and to ME” type of thing, and as ghouls, they are hardly given any true instances of happiness, care and love that lasts before meeting a tragic end, some fuckery or death due to the harsh nature of the world.

The fact that they got together so quickly and yes rushed, after losing cafe Re and both feeling lonely and taking comfort in each other in 125 I found really emotional.

Touka asking Kaneki “Why are you crying?” was such a sweet gesture when you remember Haise crying when he first saw her in Re, but also how Kaneki felt that he was always beat a lot by the people he loved the most. And yet he was able to fully expose himself and have an extremely intimate moment with the woman that he's in love with, and to find out that she also loves him back and didn't hurt him at all this time.

Additionally was finding out that Kaneki  was “dying” and how quickly they married after finding out about Touka’s pregnancy and her even CHOOSING Kaneki and their child over saving her best friend Yoriko (one of Kaneki's biggest flaws in choosing), for me only reaffirmed how desperate and strong each others feelings were for each other. Touka chose a life with Kaneki, something he wanted his mother to do… Choose him.

It's kinda like... “We lost each other before so many times, let's just confirm everything while we're still alive (The marriage bite mark and ring) because who knows when we'll lose these moments and our time together,” especially at how unforgiving shit can be with most TG relationships (AKA Eto’s parents Ukina and Kuzen, Touka’s parents Arata and Hikari and so forth).

Their love is flawed, rushed and has several problems yes with the time development and communication issues in execution... (I truly wish Ishida gave Touka more screen time and development in most of Re although she has developed and changed from Part 1 in her own way); but they are still growing and learning, nothings ever perfect. In fact even with that time discrepancy and change, its one of those relationships that's so genuine and loyal AF to me. Both can see the dark horror in each other, yet still love each other regardless and show genuine care to go through such lengths to make sure the other is okay in a world where such a thing for ghouls and humans is extremely rare.  Especially during all the fuckery in the previous Underground and Dragon arcs. ALL of the Kaneki personalities agreed to literally kill and eat the Oggai children along with humans and ghouls (becoming a monster) just to see Touka again in fear of her death and hopefully to name his kid one day, repeatedly chanting her name over and over.

Touka played a prominent role and went out to save her husband with the CCG, Hide, hell even the Qs... incurring so much damn physical damage via all the fighting and all the mental/emotional stress concurred spanning days to weeks whilst fucking PREGNANT, starving herself with human food, and weakened as a ghoul.

Again, love is complicated, and it's not exactly “healthy” per say from that point of view… I'd say these two need some damn marriage counseling or some shit😂, but it is MUTUALLY genuine given the fucked up circumstances. (I'm also glad it didn't fall under the common anime/manga trope of “Will they? Won't they? shipping game that stalls for time... Just do it! Especially when TG isn't a romance manga, although it has romantic elements)

Personally for me, Touken represents an overall symbol of coexistence and hope for humans and ghouls (the positive core message of TG, even though yes I know it's not the main focal point outside all the story fuckery as a whole). It illustrates breaking past the species barrier of mutual understanding along with other ships to a degree like Ukina x Kuzen, Nishiki x Kimi etc; and I find it beautiful that Kaneki finally has a tangible reason to LIVE, with his Best Waifu Touka… And now also his Best Bro Hide and everyone else.

I wish I could add more insight, but as you can see... I'm a Touken boy through and through😅

#touken #kaneki x touka #ken kaneki #touka kirishima #kanetou #tg meta #tokyo ghoul #tgre #haise #touka #kaneki #tousaki #kirishima touka #kaneki ken #tg #touka x kaneki #tokyo ghoul:re #haise sasaki #yawsreflection #hideyoshi nagachika #my otp #yawmanzo

[keepitdiscreet]

Conquer Social Anxiety 7 Tips

There you are on lunch break, trying to remain invisible - an island of your own thoughts and problems.

It was all you could do to get off the customer area because you must have a sign that reads, "Ask me, complain to me, I'm the last worker in the world who cares". And the customers seem to flock to you like when pigeons know that somebody has fries. Like spies, you could feel their eyes on you as you moved quickly toward the break room. The boss has already reprimanded you a few times because while trying so hard to care for the customer, you were - wait for it - late for break! Noticing the time, your'e already going to loose five minutes! Those five minutes would have been like a five week resort at a sanitarium, a time of healing!

Thinking break would be more enjoyable, you head to the restroom first. Of course there's a wait. And after waiting your turn, there's the coworker who makes those huffing sounds to let you know that they should have gone first because they evidently need to "go" worse than you! This does not help you to let down. You can't even enjoy a quick pee. Did someone chuckle at the sound of your porcelain? Did you just feel droplets of water from that jerk that won't use the dryer and only shakes the wet hands? Your face feels hot now and you just know you deserve better than this!

Now in the break room, you've already weathered the storm of some of the co-workers who come in and out. Some getting a quick, illicit cup of coffee while on shift; some who have hurried out to work - just little late. Then there are the ones at the next table all talking at once with occasional outbursts of laughter. And there are those like you, sitting alone and quite.

A loud greeting hits your ear like lightning - it's a coworker trying to bring you into one of the conversations. You try to remember what they were just talking about as you nod and grin...

Getting nowhere in resolving your inner thoughts, you are a little jealous of the happy workers chatting like chirping birds on a wire; you are even more jealous of the fellow in the corner with the headphones on, completely oblivious to his surroundings.

Oh, horror! Management comes in! Cups and silverwear make startling clanging noises. "So," the manager says loudly to you. Now the entire room is privy to the last stressful and even embarrassing thing that happened to you earlier. "I know I'm not supposed to do this on break, but.." the manager goes on to fill in every detail, never allowing you to fit in a reply. Your're thinking, "Is this training, orientation or am I getting fired, because I know this isn't how it was..."

Now, as if the most eloquent politician, the manager turns the mood of what's been said so far. Out of the blue the tone goes from reprimand to, friends just chatting at summer camp, "Well, that's my take on it, and I'm just the boss.. so what would you do different?" The spotlight beams harsh and bright on you. More than a few coworkers are looking your way and you can sense the heat of their embarrassment as some of them feel your pain.

You feel hot up top, you feel cold down below, you can only see straight through fog in a tunnel of grayness in your eyes. Why does it feel like you can't breath, as you stretch your chest trying to feel better? Wow! why does your heart feel so powerful, yet so weak? Oh, it feels like everyone has been waiting an eternity for a response from you.

Stress, everyone knows it; we're all just human. You can be the toughest one in your family and still know the heavy weight of stress. You don't need a diagnosis to know a panic attack, because anyone can get those.

We can plan ahead, make provisions and still, there's always going be those times when something pulls the rug out from under us, toppling us in the spiral of panic and stress.

1. During those times, it helps to have worked out a phrase or thought beforehand that you can use to grab onto during a panic/stress fall. Like a handrail on a stairway, this idea can ready you, can right you, can keep your from spiraling out of control.

2. One thing that can help is to realize that this one thing is probably not the end of the world.

To demonstrate this human tendency, imagine this scenario: At an intersection the light turned green for you and the driver facing you. We were both turning into the same roadway. This should have been no problem because there were two lanes going the same direction. The law says you both could go as long as you stay in your lanes, it's all good. You both turned and were doing fine side by side. Once staightened out, you both began to accelerate toward the speed limit.

You thought, I wonder why it feels like this guy is going to chop me off and then grind on his brakes. You pushed your accelerator down harder knowing that if he wanted in your lane, he could have took it easy and drifted in behind you.

The guy knew that a soon as he turned, he would need to change lanes to go to a certain establishment. He knew your vehicle was in his way. It was just you and him. He could pull behind, or race faster than you, cut in front, then signal to make his turn.

When he knew you were going to get up to the speed limit in good time, he would have been smart to drift behind you. But he was fixated on his turn so much that he endeavored to out-race you to the speed limit. You both reached the speed limit at the same time. Did he back off and admit his need to turn? No. He pushed harder. He must have gone twice the speed limit only to pull in front of you! He thought that his destination was the last goal of all mankind! In fact, it could have caused an accident that would have ended his life.

Why do we do that? We tend to think the ting we are going through is the most important thing on the planet. When we feel ourselves racing toward that stressful panic sensation, we need to remember that this is not the end of everything. In ten years will any of this be remembered as important?

I'm sure if you interviewed the guy in the street scene above, he would not plan on driving that way. You could ask, "Would you purposefully make a turn only to race another person only to cut them off? Would you be willing to risk a speeding ticket of double the posted speed and possibly an accident?" Surely, he would say, "No."

See? We don't normally plan on a melt-down situation happening at work or in the grocery store. But these things do crop up. And what if someone else is the one working all the control levers? It's especially bad when we are feeling trapped, cornered or humiliated.

If your'e scared of getting fired, scared of getting hurt in a fight, scared of getting in trouble for fighting - whatever - you need to remember, this is not the last exit ramp on a one-way highway forever!

3. Sometimes it helps to break the spell of a panic attack by having a certain thing to touch, a tactile reminder of who and where you are in relation to the cruel situation making you want to panic. let's say that you grab your left pinky finger and squeeze it, or maybe, reach up to your right earlobe and tug it a little. The tactic thing that your'e doing is very calming and centering. It can break the panic. When that happens, it allows your mind to remember, this too shall pass and I'll likely be mowing the lawn tonight - or whatever.

4. I like to use the KISS principle. Do you know the KISS principle? It's an acronym. Keep It Simple Stupid - KISS. It might seem demeaning, but keeping it simple is really what it's all about. What IF the guy missed his turn? Could he not get to the destination another way? Can you see that the situation your'e in can be completed at another time? It doesn't always need immediate resolution.

5. Boil the facts down. I always like to ask myself, "What's really important, here?" "What really matters right now?" It's kind of like the KISS principle, it makes us prioritize the issues in order of prominent magnitude.

In the story where your'e at work and feeling the heat of embarrassment and the panic beginning to pick up, boil it down to what's really important - keep it simple. Simplifying the matters before you act out can keep you from getting fired, protect you from coming to blows in a fight, get you a promotion, keep you from a car accident, and more. Is my pride between me and an anonymous driver I'll never see again really worth what might come if I break the law and continue accelerating? Why should something so silly instantly become that important? Keep it simple.

6. Slow down, decelerate the situation, keep quiet. Feign that your'e mulling it over. Clear your throat. Say, "I'll get back with you on that; so did you catch that game?" Then boil it down to what's important. It could be that your boss will get in trouble for breaking rules. It could be that while you were stretching your chest because your heart felt weird, that your coworkers were admiring you for what looked to them like you were regaining your composure. They may look more highly on you! Later on, you can go to Human Resources to talk to someone if you want.

Your boss is that guy that cut you off. He may have turned in front of you, inconvenienced you, he may think himself the best competitor by cheating to win. Still, you can look at him with the knowledge that it was you who slowed down and were in control - the right thing to do. You were more more mature, in control. When you decelerate the situation, your'e the winner!

7. If all else fails and the panic is still welling up within you, this is the moment when you feel certain that you will be shamed - that others may see your panic as incompetance. Pull a magician's 'slight-of-hand'. For example, bend down to tie your shoe (even if it doesn't need it - retie it - slowly) Or, begin to literally walk away quickly. If you can, say something as an excuse like, "Excuse me, lunch didn't go down." or, "I can't do this right now." The important thing at this point of panic is to not faint or fall down. Use up some of your adrenaline and oxygen by walking away quickly, "Oh, no!" Then later give an excuse and apologize. Often a panic attack is no one's fault, not yours nor the people that are there when the panic occurs. You need to move forward in your business, so try to be polite if possible and divert attention away from you and the present situation - come back to it later when you are more prepared.

I hope this helps. Remember that composure is something that comes to us with practice. Be confident. May your life be filled with gracefulness.

[perfectionistincrisis]

Longest post ever. Keep Scrolling! Look away!

About my brother leaving. Now there are two sides to it. One is how he is so young & he will move so far away & has to take care of everything. He has to study first of all, which is the main thing. And this in itself is a whole new experience. Starting university & facing all the pressure & tight schedule & deadlines that come with it. And to top that all, he will move to a new country. An entirely new place he has never been to & one which is very very very different from the country where he was born & raised & literally spent entire 18 years of his life in. Now whether this is the lifestyle & culture & religion we are talking about, or just the weather. You name it, & it's something different he has to face. Let's go back to studies. The ‘studies’ part, is totally acceptable! I mean it's his responsibility. No one will or is expected to do it or help him with it. This is totally on him. He has to figure it out himself. If he needs help, he needs to look for it. If he has a problem he needs to find a way out, or deal with it. The idea of having an elder sibling or family to help you with your studies, i believe, is totally absurd when someone is moving to university. At school, it might be ok but when someone is starting uni, cmon, I think it's time to stop already. Let them grow up on their own. You can't be wiping their ass for them their entire life. Not to mention, everyone has their own share of responsibilities, their own affairs to handle. Everyone of us are struggling everyday, to build our futures. And NO. This is not selfish. This is our responsibility towards ourselves. We owe this to ourselves, and no, you are not in any way, supposed to expect anyone to actually help you deal with your responsibilities in life. So with you share of duties, is it really selfish to focus on your affairs & prioritize them? & also what good will you be really doing by helping someone? How much of someone else's responsibilities can you own? There will come a point where you’ll have to leave them on their own except that now you've already spoiled them and they'll be more lost than ever. So yeah, plus i'm not even studying engineering so anyways i couldn't do much or anything at all but even if i could have, i really never liked the whole concept of doing it in ‘uni’. I have such a strong opinion about it seeing my cousins and other people. Meaning, it's not just me randomly thinking about it and commenting but i rather did always have such an opinion about this matter. So yeah that's the only ‘okay’ thing! From now, things are changing. Now, let's talk about the end of everyday! When he comes ‘home’/ dorm room. He doesn't come home to anyone. Whether it is your siblings being lame and stupid, or your parents being in a fight, or some really good day where everyone's happy and laughing - you're not getting any of it. Is anyone bringing you food? Cooking for you exactly what you eat? No. When are you going to bed? No one cares other than you. Who’s making sure you wake up and don't miss class in the morning? Who’s making you breakfast? Filling your water flask? You buy your food if you have time before class. Such a good day, just 3 classes and you're home by 11. Who do you go home to? Yourself. Weekends? .. Nvm But we are only trying to provide the best future for him. And i can NOT disagree to this at all. Not even for a second. Since almost a year, my dad & my mom has thought of everything & every tiny thing that we will need for him. Whether it is the fact that winter clothes are sold in shops during winter and winter in ksa was 6 months ago, so keeping that in mind and shopping for him things which is just too hard to get in the shops right now cause it's totally summer rn over here! Or whether it is something more serious like meeting all the different formalities to apply for a visa. And shopping for him all these months. Making lists of everything he might need. Things like plate, glass, things like rugs, things like brush, toothpaste, things like pillows, bed sheet, things like laundry basket, warm gloves, things like rain coat. Like you name it, and it somehow is something he actually needs. Also, we are so concerned about providing him the best. I think all my life, a part of shopping included looking at the price tag and seeing if its a good bargain. But now, suddenly thats not done anymore. Anything he touches (which is very little btw) & anything we choose for him (which is like every single thing we see), its just getting the best for him. Its like theres this thing in our heads. Like this is it. My brother hardly gets anything for himself. He is kind of different. So we are just getting him all these stuff because once he goes there, he might not get it for himself. And even if he does, us getting something for him now will be the last time we are doing so. Cause from now on he'll do his stuff himself. So like i was saying. We are only trying to provide the best future for him. And i can NOT disagree to this at all. Not even for a second. And this is a stage that comes in everyone's life & we can not and should not run from it. This is the right thing to do in my brother’s case. Everything till now has gone so smoothly Alhamdulillah. But it still doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. Especially when i think of my mom. I get the whole idea of how it's the hardest on the moms. In fact i have even witnessed many moms crying & breaking when their kids had to leave and all. But. This is different. I am talking about ‘my mom’. I respect all mother’s love, i do. But about my mom; unless you live under the same roof as her, you will find it impossible to believe how much of her heart & soul & energy she invests on our family. For which, I will be forever grateful & will consider myself blessed. I will never be able to start and finish talking about her but let me mention some interesting stuff! Let's start with me! So im 21. And i don't do my laundry (none of it at all), i don't vacuum (the house or even just my room), I don't iron my clothes (never did), I don't clean the dishes (not even my own plate or glass or water flask), I don't clean my room (the furnitures & stuff) & interestingly, i don't even know how to make tea or coffee (unless it's those sachets you get, but i just use them at uni). TADA - Mom does all of that for me. I don't remember the last time i did ‘any’ of the things i mentioned. I can't say i never did any of them though, but it was only for one of the 2 reasons: 1. I was younger and mom got angry with me maybe & she’d punish me by making me do it OR 2. I voluntarily offered maybe cause it was vacation and i wasn't lazy & stuff (btw this vacation, i'm totally lazy, i never offered or did anything) So like i said, i don't remember the last time i did any of it. Infact, to TOP ALL THAT, mom makes sure of all my ‘excess’ needs too. She pays so much importance to them. Like, my diet. Diet - meaning the food i eat. Now regardless of whether im trying to lose weight or not, i totally dont like asian food, more specifically, all the daily food cooked in a bengali household. I dont like ‘curries’. I prefer ‘dry’ food. It doesnt matter what it is. Chicken, beef or veggie. If its a ‘curry’, im not putting it in my mouth. Curry meaning the whole making it liquidy with all masala & stuff. And i ‘especially’ hate chicken curry. I also dont honestly remember the last time i ate it. And i am NOT exaggerating but i stopped eating it like way back in grade 11 or 12. By chicken curry, i mean the MOST REGULAR meal in almost every bengali household, more like an EVERYDAY meal especially for the kids. And it works for my bros too lol. But no way on hell im eating it. The reason is, this is one food ive been eating since i learned to ear and then after around a pretty 13 to 14 years of eating chicken curry i had to say NO one fine day xD xD Ok now i have 2 phases: one is the normal daily phase where unis going on and i'm stressed and all i eat is junk food, or maybe something not junk but has to be all delicious or maybe sometimes i'll consider eating healthy and want some classy salad and stuff. Mom always has to prepare a different meal or me. Then she has to prepare something else for her and dad too cause chicken is kids stuff and also mom does not eat chicken at all if she is the one who cooked it so yeah. And then there's chicken for my bros xD On top of that, when im in the other phase where im trying to lose weight - Oh god. The whole menu of food changes. All green veggies and salads and stuff. All grilled chicken, grilled fish, grilled beef. She does all of that. Also. she THEN ‘decorates’ my food cause she knows i love taking pictures of my food. She decorates my food. She makes sure I like the plate on which she is serving the food; whether the plate will look good in the picture. She makes sure I get to take a perfect picture. If she gets confused about how to decorate something, she'll tell me to do it and ask me what i need. I mean man, who does that to a 21 year old???? I know i am spoiled! Now ^ i got carried away! All that is a small gesture of what my mom does for ‘me’. And i'm like her eldest kid. Like she actually thinks i can take care of myself ‘more than my brothers can’ Yeah do you see where i'm going with this? You can not imagine HOW much more she does for my bros, like ‘woahhhh’👌 I’ll just give one example for each bro. My elder bro - he never actually had to open his closet and decide on which dress to wear till now in his life!!!!! Yesss!!!!! Mom even takes out his clothes. Clothes. Every garment :):):) and keeps it ready for him to wear every time he showers, or changes, or goes outside :) and that's the one who’s already 18 and moving soon! And my younger bro - well he is kinda different. Like he is all concerned about his looks and he demands on choosing his own clothes from his closet and wearing them xD xD but then mom still feeds him lunch and dinner most of the day and he is almost 14 :):):) So yes. Idk how my mom is going to handle it. But what i know is that she is such a brave and strong and intelligent and amazing woman mashAllah. She is so hard-working & she puts aside all her sickness and pain & prioritises our needs, and our wants, even if theyre really stupid. And she means the world to me. And she is my number 1 person. And I can give up anything for her. Words cannot express how much she means to me. I once had to stay a night away from her during the 1st week of my uni in 1st year of med school. That was the night I actually realized how important she was to me. I was away from her and due to some circumstance I couldn't communicate with her. That whole night, i lied in bed crying & asking Allah to let me meet my mom in my dreams as I fall asleep now… Idk if I ever told that to anyone before, but yeah here it is. Ahhhh. God!!!!! Such a huge post wth man )@+%;’!(%)#!%(£))@!%!%) but Ughhhh I just needed to get it all out of my system! Hmphhh

[adityatodi]

March 18, 2019 Day 4

The first meeting of the day is with the Energy Minister, but given the late nights and early mornings I decide to skip it and sleep in. Walk over to Vitacura Municipality and meet everyone else there to take the bus to Former National Congress Building. It’s a beautiful building with its tall columns—a symbol of strength and durability. The meeting with Felipe Katz, a Senator and former Presidential candidate is a highlight of the trip. His openness, thoughtfulness and knowledge make him a rare breed in politics. Here are some highlights of what he said that stood out to me:

The inequality in Chile has create two Chiles’. One of the rich who are able to avoid any interaction with the state whether it is through public education, health, housing or security (they usually hire private security) vs the not so well off who keep running into the State at numerous points 

If you’re not dreaming in politics, why are you in politics

His father Miguel Katz was one of the “Chicago Boys” under Pinochet. He passed away when Felipe was 6 years old in 1983. The spectrum of political views within his family (his father being more Left vs himself vs his uncle who is in the extreme right and currently leading a movement to redefine Chilean politics and identity to be a more closed one). After the talk I ask Senator Kast about the legacy of his father and how he thinks about working within a regime perpetrating atrocities vs staying on the outside to make changes. He understands the complexity of the situation and believes many of the atrocities his father was not aware of, but it truly is a hard thing to figure out. (My own view—1970s and 80s can not be measured in the context of today where information is more openly available. Perhaps his father truly did not know the massive atrocities, but if he did he should have resigned since providing economic impetus to a ruthless authoritarian regime is actually supporting them to stay in power). How different are your view to the person you are working for/with? If extremely different, it’s not worth working together—if they are minor differences they can make for a productive partnership.

You can not take it for granted that politics will always be okay

People don’t care about politics/elections until the last 3 weeks

On how to counter Populism: Don’t do what Hilary Clinton did. You have to start out with acknowledging that the issue the populist is raising is an issue. You have to be honest about what things are not working and make it known the issue does matter to you. However, you can say that the solution is not as simple as the one the populist is propagating. 

On income inequality: 

What kinds of inequality are you willing to live with/which ones to prioritize. Income inequality will exist, but as long as this does not bleed into educational or health inequality—both which need to be prioritized when we talk about inequality. 

Be able to see how it differs across generations (is it decreasing in younger generation)

Measure mobility---If parents were in bottom quartile, what chances does child have to move up the economic ladder and vice versa

It is important for us coming from academia to look humble. We can organize data and ask questions but know little. You should be happy when you are wrong, because it means there is a truth that trumps what you believed was the truth

Simplicity is a value we underestimate. Sometimes simple works better than complicated policy. “Keep it simple”

Katz’ talk is a reminder to me about how important politics and policy is to me. Truly, it is the only way to make long term structural changes. It is something I deeply care about and will certainly want to be involved with in Nepal. It’s a passion and commitment, a fire that must be fueled and allowed to keep burning.

We then walk over to Club de la Union—a fancy private club in downtown Santiago. One of the trek organizer’s father is a member which allows us access to it. We have a fancy lunch there and the multiple course meals are now becoming a bit of a habit. I share an amazing conversation with Sahar a fellow participant. She is a dual degree with HKS and Divinity school and we talk about the role of religion in organizing communities, gender in our own societies and the role of men and women in the household. The western notions though enlightening are ones that do not perfectly transfer to our cultures in the same way and it’s a balance many from our parts of the world struggle with.

After lunch we walk over to the Ministry of Transportation to meet with Minister Gloria Hutt, Minister of Transportation and Telecommunication. Here are the highlight:

The public no longer is happy with public transportation just taking people from Point A to Point B. It should now have facilities such as USB drive to charge phone as well as wifi---these basic amenities are being demanded

Bus and metro lines are not cannibalizing each other. In fact the bus lines are the preliminary to areas where density may not be very high. Once a critical threshold is reached for density, metro lines will be built in the area. Since this transition takes time (to build metro), the city currently has dedicated bus lines so people don’t switch over to cars in the transition period

There is a law in parliament to regulate ridesharing since currently they are fully unregulated

Believe that quotas are an important way to bring gender parity in politics. Chile has laws that make it mandatory to have 40% women representation in election and certain public offices

The domestic load women have at home is hard for men to fathom. It’s usually the woman checking it fridge has food and kids homework etc. Men need to understand these subtleties and help with it

After our meeting we walk over to La Moneda—the Presidential Palace. It’s currently the President’s work place, but he does not live there. It’s a beautiful building with open courtyards and done in a traditional Spanish style. The place is seeped with history and we get to see the different rooms and venues the important events take place in. The room for reception of foreign dignitaries, the dining room where they have a meal, the place where important medals are given out, the chapel, etc. I’m impressed that like the White House, this place is also open for tours to the public. This is a wonderful aspect of a democracy to bring people literally closer to the people they elect.

We then walk over to our dinner location. Dinner is at Liguria restaurant in the Lastarria neighborhood. The restaurant has a beautiful and eclectic interior with the bar area being a big highlight. It’s a 2 hour long dinner filled with pisco sour, salad, peanuts, gnocchi and dessert. In between courses I walk around the neighborhood which is filled with cafes and restaurants. Walking around neighborhoods is one part that I have missed doing during this trip. Back to the hotel and it’s an early night!