#Can you feel my gender envy through the screen | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thatcheeseycandle · 3 months

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//SPOILERS FOR CHAPTER 30 OF IN PURSUIT OF SELF CAUSE ITS REACTION TIME

Okay OKAY I GOTTA ADMIT THE TITLE CARD ALRRADY GOT MY ADRENALINE RUNNING CAUSE I CAN ALREADY SENSE THE HEAT COMING IN

Oi wait OI OI ITS A TRURO AND SCOT FLASHBSCK BIT OH BOY YUP ITS HEATING UP ALREADY

Scotsman refering to Pendennis using "she" NOW I WONDER IS PENDENNIS GENDERFLUID AS WELL OR GOES BY ANOTHER GENDER?? NOW THIS IS PULLING ME IN

"A railway that's run like a circus!" Mhm.. WOULD EXPLAIN WHY ALL OF THEM SOMEHOW ACT LIKE SHOW-PEOPLE/SHOW-MEN/SHOW-WOMEN DONT YA THINK??

Okay I kinda love Truro's not giving a crap or/and sassy attitude in this I LOVE IT BEHAJDHFHD

PENDENNIS CASTLE THINKS OTHERWISE????? OH BOY TRURO OH DIOS HEHAJFHFJFB

Wait wait WHAT MORE THAN ANY INSULT????? WHATATATDHHX

Oh OH OKAY WE PULLING OUT THE "Is a Young Iron" BITS NOW YEAH LETS GOGOSUFUUF FIGHT FIGHT FIGHR FIGHT

"You don't deserve her!" ..YEAH... MHM... COMPLETELY DOESNT SOUND SUSPICIOUS IT REALLY DOESNT SOUND ALL THAT TRURO-

Oh OH HOJOHOHOHOHOIDKDF SCOT GO GO GO FOR IT GO YEAHAHHAHAHA HE SURELY IS JEALOUS HE REALLY IS GO FOR IT SCOT GOOOOOOOOOO

Scot SCOT FIR THEBLOVE OF TOGOD IM SORRY FAT??? PAUSE. SIT. WHAT. OKAY OKAY YEAH. VERY. VERY UH. SHOCJING EHjHDHF

Oh no OH NO QUICKSILVERS GONNA GET HIS TENDER HES BUSTED OH HOHOGKNNNONONONONONI

EXACTLY. I AGREE LIKE DIOS IT KINDA YEAH IT IS, IN THOSE TERMS, DISGRSCEFUL YEAH I SEE IT CRYSTAL CLEARLY

"Scotsman's words had cut deep and Truro didn't know why." TRURO. I CANNOT RN I CANNOT. TRURO GOSH YOUR STRING IS BEING PULLED.

Im sorry PENDENNIS IS WHAR. PENDENNIS IS WHAT NOW? IM THROWING HANDS RN WHAT DIOS

A WEDGE? A WEFGE. WHAT. ITS ALRESDY GETTING HEATEX

"because she was seeing Scotsman behind the sheds" WHATATTAHAH WHAT. WHAT WHAT NONPNONONO WHAT. PAUSE. SIT. BREATH. BREATHING BREAK. IM GONNA THROW HANDS AT THIS SCREEN RN.

Tears. TRURO GOODLORD. THIS. MY GOSH THIS IS ALREADY GOING SOUTH SOUTH AS IN EARTHCORES SOUTH.

AYO WHAT AY AY AY GDC??? HUMAN CONSTRUCTS?? IM ALL EARS

flustered. FLUSTERED D. THIS SMAN IS FLUSTERED. WHAT DID THEY DO????????

. Truro YOU. TRURO YOU LOOK ALREADY FANTASTIC ON YOUR OWN JUSKO LIKE. THIS MAN REALLY PUTTING HIMSELF DOWN FOR NOTHING LIKE COME ON TRURO YOUR LITERALLY GODUHFHF YOU LOOK AMAZING

"After all we've been through?" THROUGH WHAT? THROUGH WHAT. WHATS THE SPECIFIC EVENTS HM? im overthiniing that BUT STILL HE IS CORRECT

Truro. TRURO. IT *USED* TO MATTER. USED TO. PAST. IN THE PAST IT MATTERED. WAY BEFORE THIS FLASHBACK

Wait. Lost your soul tryinh to save me? WIAIG THIS WAS. WHAAR WHAT. OKAY WE GOT A TIMELINE. THE FIRST FLADHBACK WAS LIKE WAY BEFORE WHILE THIS ONE WAS IN RECENT YEARS OR SOMETHING LIKE DURING EITHER GREEN WITH ENVY OR A GOLDEN SOUL I THINK

Scot HE JSUT WHARA HE SUED HSI NAM WHST OKAY IM JAWDROPPED IM VERY MUCH WOW

GOODLORD. wait. What if that day would be THIS CHOATER HE WODUDL WAITNWIAKT. WHAT IF TRURO COMES ALONG IN HIS HUMAN CONSTRUCT???? OHGNDYGOFOOSF

Ay AYYYYY TYDFIL MY GIRL WOOOOO

Oh gosh.. WELL UH. THE FIRST ED IS NOW. YEAH. BUT THANK GOD THEYRE GETTING RID OF MS PARSONS CAUSE DIOS THE BAZINGALLIONS OF TIMES SHE WRONGED SO MANY PEOPLE. DIOS.

Qait. MAINDYESH IT WHATS. SHE SHWTA NOONONONNONO. MAINDY. WHAT. CANT THEY. CNAT THEY RECOVEF HER AS YKNOW A SILVERY A MEORY OF SORTS

I THOUGHT SHE JUST FADED FOR A BIT THEN YKNOW WOULD COME BACK.

Oh Tydfil. Me too. In a way where I relate to these feelings. OH TYDFIL :(((

"She really was a child, she realised." Im gonna cry. TYDFIL. I MEAN MAYBE SHE COULD STAY WITH THOMAS AND THE BRENDAM CREW FOR A BIT? SHES GOT EVENING STAR SO YKNOW. YEAH.

AWEUSYSH YEAHH THOMAS LET SGOOGOGOG

"My mind tends to come up with the worst scenarios" EXACTLY WHY IM READING THIS AND ENJOYING MY INTERESTS-

YEHSHAHAHAH YOUG OT EVENEIGN STAR YEHAHAHSHS YEHAHHAHATHOMAS IS RUGHT YEHAHAHHHHHHH

Yes YES GO SPICEY TYDFIL GO ALL OUT SPICEY AND SASSY YEHAHAH GOOGOGO SLAY WITH THAT ATTITUDE GO ALL OUT

Yehahash YEHAHSH SHES GAINEF A NEW FRIEND *insrrt that arcade noise you hear when you get another coin*

Ph boy OH BOY ITS OLIVIA YEAH EVERYONE BUCKLE UP ITS TIME FOR THE TIPPY TOP OR SOMRTHING OF THE ROLLERCOASTER

Okay pause I GOTTA EAT DONNER SO YEAH DRAFT SAVING TIME YEAH

IM BACK TO READ WOOOOO

God SPOTIFY ADS. WELP. YEAH LITTLE WAITING GAME IG

Okay OKAY WE BACK TO READING WOOOO

Wait. A DREMA WHAT WIAT TALK TO POLLY???? QHAT WIA TWIS THWY ARE HER PARTS MISSING HUH WHAT. NOBONNO

POLLY YOUR EYWS YPUR NONONOOOO

Crying count: 1

YEHAHE BETTER GET HIS CRPA TOGETHER SOON CAUSE IM ABOUT TO LOSE MINE

Wait. Merry. MERRY WSIT BEFORE ALL THIS A FEW CHAPTERS BEFORE THIS ONE BAKU REBLOGGED THIS HUMANIZATION 6 CHARACTER THING WHERE MERRY'S HUMANIZATION AKA GDC WAS SHOWN. WIAT. WHARAR

I cant thpe out all my thoughtds GOD SOBBING TAKES LOTS OUT FO YOU.

Oh god EDWARD II RUN. RUN RUN SHAKE HER OFF RN SHAKE IT OFF YEHS SSHAKE HER OFF SHES AH NOOOO

NLONONONONONOB EFWARD IIII ANAOAOAOOOOI NAOOAOAOOOOOOO RHION ANOSOSOSOOOSOAOOAHDJSBAAJAJABSJAJJSJSHAHABA

NOOOOOIWOAOAOA WE LOST ANTOHER ONE I REPEAT WE LOST ANOTHER ONE WE GOT ONE DOWN AND ANOTHER NEAR DEATH THIS SI NTO A DRILL

Oh Gods OH NO OKAY IM PREPAEING MYSELF FOR THIS ITS THE TITLECARD BIT YEAH WE GOING WE GET GOING WE GONNA DO THIS

Oh no Scotsman. Yeah ngl that feeling hits hard when you just. When you see yknow your cousin and dad just ywah

Crying Counter: 2

OI WAHT WHAT OH GOD GET UP SCOTSMAN GET UP

Waig what THE LAMP WHAT

Oh Gosh. SCOT SCOT NO DONT NO OLAY YEAH OLVIIA AND POLLY ARE NEA RTO DEATH BUT GOODLORD THAT ISNT IT KINDS IDNT A GOOD IDE AIF YOU TWO CANT AGREE PN IT

GADWALL WHAT NOSOAO WHAT WHARSCD GADWALL GOODLORD

WHATSGSG MALLARD YOU LITTLE GOGUFUH WHAT HOW WHY HUH

GOODLORD THESE TWO ARE BRAWLING IT OUT

Ogugyh THE DAYDREAMS ARE HITTING HARD AS I IMAGE THIS SCENE-

Mallarf MALALRD. MALLARD :((

YEHA GADWALL STOP HIM STOP IT RN

Oh Mallard youve crossed the line now NOW YOUVE GONE BAD BAD THIS IS BAD.

Goodlord this is just the buffet for relatable characters.. OH LORD WHO MUST I RELATE TO THE MOST THEYRE BOTH RELATABLE-

"You almost took the person who gave me a reason to live when everything went wrong" DANG THAT HIT HARD.

Woah WOAH. MALLARD. CALM. CALMA. WHATARHWGS

MALLARD PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD- GIVEN THE FACTS THAT IF OLIVIA LIVES SHE MAY TRY TO FIND A WAY TO GIVE GADWALL A PROPER GDC SO IN THIS CASE, GIVE IN THE LAMP NOW

Okay OKAY SCOTSMAN YOU TOO DROP IT RN LIKE COME ON THE MAN DOESNT EVEN REMEMBERING TRYING TO MURDER YOU LOT OR MURDERING ANYONE-

I stared at this screen for 7-13 minutes. WHAR. MALLARD WHY WOULD YOU DO IT GOODLORD I MEAN YEAH ITS KINDA KINDA FAIR SINCE SCOT KINDA MESSED UP IN THE FIRST PLACE BUT GOODLORD THAT WAS THAT WAS VERY UNNECESSARY OF YOU

Im. IM VERY SHOCKED. THIS CHAPTER WAS THE EMOTIONAL ROLLERCOASTER OF THE CENTURY LORD. THIS. WOW.

PAUSE. SIT. BREATH.

This chapter, with all my respect, was like YKNOW THE BIGGEST BANG IPOS HAD LIKE MY GOSH???? EACH BIT GOT MY ADRENALINE UP, YET AGAIN ANOTHER THRILLING CHAPTER BROGUHT TO YOU BY REDWYVERNWIRTES WOOOOO /POS

LETS COUNT THIS UP

3 near to death, 1 having a cliffhanger, 1 antagonist out on the run, 4 protagonists safe, 1 battle, and 2 healing. WOAH UH YEAH THATS LOTS-

#ttte #cheesyversial rants #ttte young iron au #yiau: reviews of readers!#I NEED TO BREATH ON SEC-

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adrianicsea · 2 years

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Perhaps i will be basic and ask insidious, but open it up to the whole series!

OH YOUR MIND!!! thank you so much :')

favorite male character: specs..... are any of us surprised. insidious was one of the first horror series i really got into and fell in love with so it always has a special place in my heart bc of that, and baby adrian had SUCH a massive crush on/gender envy for specs! it's honestly a really warm and sweet feeling for me to come back to the series as a veteran horror fan and transitioned man now and revisit the series. specs fisher you will ALWAYS be famous

favorite female character: elise! which feels like a really basic answer but like she IS the backbone of the series. as much as i like renai, renai doesn't really get to do a whole lot, and elise is just like. there IS no insidious without her. lin shaye is just such a warm and charismatic screen presence, you can't not love elise

least favorite character: idk if you can count the demons/spirits as characters in their own right but i thought the key-fingered demon and elise's dad in the last key both sucked major ass. blaming elise's dad's abusive behavior on a demon IMMEDIATELY after the story makes it a point to say that sometimes human people are monsters all on their own WITHOUT any demonic intervention is like. hello? did nobody stop and think about that????

prettiest character: renai!! and josh but like, in a creepy and wet way (ie in the patrick wilson tradition)

funniest character: tucker honestly. as funny as specs is, on his own specs is just kind of Guy Who Rambles and i don't think specs' presence lands NEARLY as well without tucker there to balance him out and deliver the punchlines.

favorite season: i guess i'll interpret this as favorite movie in the series? despite all of the Everything about it i do think insidious 2 is my favorite. it was actually the one i saw first (yeah idk either) and i got to see it opening night in a PACKED theater. and i think the way that 2 approaches the further as a place where time works differently and loops back on itself is a super cool concept, one that they played out a little too much in 3 and 4. that said i DO like 3 a lot as well and think it has some of the most grueling, hard-to-watch scenes in the whole series! i just thought 3 kinda beefed the landing, the ending was a little too neat and sweet and tidy for me

favorite episode: favorite... scene..... i guess? i really love the seance and josh's journey through the further in the first movie! iconic, both of them

favorite romantic ship: spextkr. as if there's any other correct answer

favorite family relationship: either renai and her children or elise, specs, and tucker

favorite friend ship: elise and specs. society if leigh whannell remembered that he made specs psychic

worst ship: specs and the girl from the last key whose name sadly escapes me. it was just so forced and unbelievable and badly written and i KNOW nobody on the planet was pulling for specs to get a gf

#asks #onehandkilling #insidious

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heybeyby · 2 years

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character bingo !!

if u havent already, Lera, Jack, Chao Xin :D

LERA!!! all of lovushka should have had more chances to shine imo. i think it's so funny during masters there would be frames of them watching the championships even though they had like. no relevance after their arc. idk i just think it's kinda silly /neu.

but yeah lera had a lot of potential and i sincerely wish we got to see her actually battle (not counting destroyer dome). wish there was a category of "if they were real I would like to be their friend" cause that's how I feel. She just seems super supportive and I love her relationships with her team especially Nowaguma. i aspire to have her level of confidence someday in all honesty.

highlighted "deeper than they seem" cause i genuinely believe her actions and dedication to her dream can definitely be expanded upon! considering she was the only one who had no qualms over cheating in the world championships is so interesting. all in all she's great. wish she had more screentime like most side characters in mfb

now where do i begin here. jack is great during both masters and fury. he's very much scrunkly-coded. his theme is one of the best yeah i said it. truthfully we didn't see like his actual personality due to the arrangement fucking him up, and even then in fury we don't know if that's how he originally was pre-HADES. i guess it'll just be a mystery :/

but disregarding that jack is such a fun character?? everytime he's on screen you never know what he's gonna say, and i always love an unpredictable character like that. HIS DESIGN TOO IT'S TOP TIER. i love circus/clown themed designs so fucking much. gender envy to the max, especially in fury.

and i will say that jack's appearance in fury was such wasted potential like come on. you could have had him encounter tsubasa or zeo, yk people who actually knew him during his arrangement-era. for the more uh. questionable boxes i highlighted, i think it’s more that i want to BE him, essentially. i relate to his (albeit obsessive) need to express himself through his art, and although his way of battling is brutal, it’s super entertaining to watch. for “i like them enough to project my own issues onto them” .... im not gonna elaborate it’s elaborate

ZHOUXING BELOVED :HEART: he is so silly. very much a scrunkle. even before my big revelation (i will talk abt that later), I always saw him as such a funny character. i love his design, even more gender envy hell yeah.

Idk there was something about him that drew me towards him that the other wang hu zhong members didn’t have. not saying I don’t like the others! I think it’s just because Zhouxing has a such a different personality compared to the others, and his off-screen growth that happened after they fought Gan Gan Galaxy leading to his camaraderie with the Beylin temple bladers, idk i think there’s a lot to think about him. Like he’s not a bad guy, he just started a bit of a douche but he got better. It’s funny cause normally i’m not the biggest of the flirty charismatic man-type of character but he’s an exception lmao.

now abt the revelation, which i talk abt here. basically the english dub indirectly confirmed that zhouxing MIGHT be an orphan and adopted. it was literally just a throwaway line (which may not even exist in the original dub I can’t find subs but I expect it doesn’t). now I know there’s a lot of technical stuff there but it gave me the chance to REALLY think about zhouxing’s past. ill probably make a separate post on it but I have A Lot of thoughts about this dummy

#lera beyblade #jack beyblade #zhouxing #chao xin #mfb #beyblade metal fight #beyblade metal saga #qloof #i am so sorry this took so long to write it's hard to articulate my thoughts and it's even harder to write them down :sobs:

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pandapillow · 11 months

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Re-listening to the songs in Dance with Devils and wow as cringy and 2nd hand embarrassment I get from it, the songs slap. There's just something about really cringy, spine shriveling, wall slapping, salt eating shows having so much charm. I love it when all the characters are being their most unapologetic cringy self and singing their feelings in a simple, yet complex way to show their motivations, personality, and just how much of a side/main character they are.

All in all I just like songs with plot

Kakusei no Air - No lyrics in this one darn, oh well. Anyways I love how dramatic it feels. This song really just gives me the urge to be a pretty boy. Ayo the only one she actually danced with was Rem. And now she's opening the door to a new world.

Kaze no Yokan - "I'm a normal high school girl" I'm sorry, but you're not. I love that this song shows that she's not completely naïve, but she does still keep that hope of having a fairytale love cause honestly, sometimes having a fairytale like romance sounds cool. So yeah among some other stuff, MC wants to have a relationship with someone with genuine love between the two.

Labyrinth of Depravity - Omg I love the start of the song. THIS GIVES ME SUCH GENDER ENVY! I LOVE THE WAY IT SHOWS THEIR PERSONALITIES!!!!!!!!! OMGGGG I LOVE THE PART WHERE THEY GO "We are Shiko Academy's Student Council of the third library" cause that part just sounds cool af, and the way they're posing on the stairs makes me wanna pose like a pretty boy who'll never get the girl. And I love the glass apple and the way it broke. Since the dudes called themselves the forbidden flower garden it reminds me of the forbidden fruit in the Garden of Eden, so Rem taking a bite of the glass apple could be a way of showing that his character arc will lead him to learning more about himself, even if he finds it uncomfortable, to the point that he regards his feelings as "forbidden knowledge" and do his best to lock it up- I have no idea where I'm going with this. Anyways glass apple is cool and I like the sound effect when it shattered.

My Name is Rem Arlond - This one is so funny to me. He's just standing around and ordering his enemies around with such grace and poise, showing that he's the one usually in power and will him announcing his name is his way of saying "remember this name because I'm above you" or smth like that. Also his fire flower was cool.

Yuuwaku❤amor - I love the imagery in this one. The chains are meant to be his webs because anyone chained up his essentially caught up in his web of lust(?). He's selling his love as a paradise, but they're dancing in a cage. His love would only hold MC, and any other women, back and they wouldn't notice because they're dancing in that cage enjoying their life together. Too much to notice the problem with his love.

Kimi Dake no Shugo Kishi - And I love this song. I will never root for this guy as a LI, but his song is just so full of love and devotion. The most pure(ish) and genuine out of all the others. Also it sounds nice in general... WTF HIS VA IS WATARU HATANO?? NO WONDER I LIKE HIS VOICE THE MOST! ITS FULL OF FOND MEMORIES!!! I can't believe it took me a moment to recognize it! The line "Putting my all into atoning for the mark of sin that flows through my body" + the imagery from the previous scene of the cross's shadow over his eye is so good to me. THIS SONG IS SO GOOD I SWEAR I DON'T SUPPORT THIS DUDE, BUT I LOVE HIS SONG SO MUCH!

VANQUISH - I love this dude. He's so silly. His song really being only about him, and what MC can give to him. Also him kicking the screen was funny. The whole song? rap? feels like a daydream where he's talking out loud. Anyways I love this dude, he's funny.

Pitiful Lullaby - The imagery in this one is cool. Him calling her a pitiful bunny girl really fits his very hunter like vibe. Cause he's literally creeping on her, but darn I love the chorus. So what I'm getting is that he likes the way he feels around her, and wants to keep that feeling and the best way to do that is lock it down in an "eternal sleep" where they can always dream of it together and it'll never change cause they're asleep and change can't happen when you're asleep and never do something to change your situation (cause you're asleep).

I Am a Faithful Dog - The dogs are so funny. But the religious imagery is so interesting to me, cause he seems to be Cerberus the loyal dog of Hades, so what does that mean. Oh fudge I love the part leading up to the chorus. He also seems like a big liar. Cause like he shows himself as a cute lil Pomeranian (I think), but his shadow is him being Cerberus, so maybe he's tryna lure MC into trusting him with his very cute and fluffy look and saying he's her trusted servant. It's always the small dogs... The end is especially weird cause he kept talking about how he is willing to serve and be devoted to her, but then he's like "Trust in Cerberus and devote yourself to me". Really changed up who the will be doing the devoting huh.

Someday Towards The Place We Saw In A Dream - Ngl I kind of find this song boring, just cause it's not my type, but the lyrics are intersting. They both say that they're in each other's eyes so they def like each other, and even admit that what they feel towards each other is love. The imaginary land they're in seems to be a paradise to them because there's nothing there to remind them of their destiny.

KETTO ~Unyielding Conflict~ - I love the duet between the two dudes who feel the strongest towards MC. The fight scene is especially nice. Like they're fighting each other, but all they can think about is MC, cause they're not just fighting each other, but they're fighting to show that what they feel is no joke and will not allow anyone to get in their way. Also love the part where they sing together.

EMO LIAR - Love it when the home boys know you're deeply in love with the girl you "don't care about and are only after because of her musty old book", and don't buy into your denial, and are like "hey we're competing for her love too, but just admit you love her loser". Love that they just sit on a throne that looks like a torture device which is very fitting considering that they're devils and the chain fence that was put up in the beginning is being blown up into pieces as Rem is forced to face his feelings towards MC. No seriously I love that they're literally calling out Rem's lies, and Rem acting dumb. Ohohhohohohoh I love it when they take turns calling him out while sitting on their weird throne.

Bride of Darkness - Love it when your suitors appear to save you and just start listing the things they love about you, while there's a knife to your throat and they're outnumbered. I also noted that when they start listing stuff about her it's to show just how innocent and untainted she is, compared to them, the devis (plus an exorcist and a dog). I also love the part where snake dude is like "don't disregard how I feel towards you, just cause it seems out of character and you're not ready to have your image of me change", cause like it really isn't like him at all. In his character song it was only about him and what MC could bring to him if he "won", and in most stories the receiver of the confession is like super bewildered and say "it's not like you at all", cause in their mind that one person is and acts a certain way, so when they aren't following the "rules" that were set in their mind it's a very jarring experience and they instinctively try to separate themselves from this moment by disregarding the confessor, but Snake saying not to say that is him saying he wants to be taken seriously. I also haven't seen the anime in a very long time and will not watch it so I have no memory of their romantic development, which I'm pretty sure is close to zero so I'm just thinking of this scenario as a separate thing. And webs saying he'll never let MC go and always cherish her is a nice nod to the fact that he's a flipping spider dude and calls her his "butterfly", so if she were to entangle herself with him she'll never be able to break free. Which is also why he says he won't care if it breaks her. As for Crow I don't really know what to say for his part? Like I'm guessing he spends most of his time sleeping, cause of his character song, and is very detached from other people as well as his emotions, so when the idea that someone who wormed their way into his heart could be taken away forever he feels sorrow, but just doesn't know it yet cause he hasn't experienced it enough to be able to identify it, and also cause he hasn't yet seen the impact she had on him, so to him he hasn't changed at all, but did change. Or smth like that. I also love that they're all holding out their hands towards her, another way of telling her to pick who she wants to be with forever, but like, she's being held hostage so she can't take their hand physically. Only with her mind will she be able to do that.

Crazy About You - Ah MC's singing with the two dudes who have the strongest feelings towards her. Red with him saying time and time again how he's willing to die for her, and Rem being Rem. And omg I'm getting sad for Red even though I never rooted for him at all and will never root for him, he's happy that she's happy and wants to protect her happiness just like Carton from Tale of Two Cities! Him calling her love with Rem "her pair of wings" cause their love will allow them to reach heights they never thought they could before and love itself is a very freeing emotion for the both of them I'd assume. And now they're singing their duet song again, and are literally doin da wedding vows. Omg I just realized that they're both blue. NOw MC has to choose if she wants to continue being human or a devil. To be with the person she loves or stay with her family, and I love that the spotlight is literally on her. YES CHOOSE YOUR OWN DESTINY GURLLLL! AND THE SUN RISING TO SHOW A NEW DAY/BEGINNING AND MAYHAPS AN DECISION??? YEAHHH SHE CHOSE HER HUMANITY! HE GAVE HER A SMALL CROWN AND DISAPPEARS CAUSE SHE MADE HER CHOICE AND THEY KISS ONE LAST TIME (and maybe the only time I don't remember).

Mademo★iselle - HOLY FLIP I FORGOT ABOUT THIS SONG! I love the circus theme. No idea what the lyrics are. Ayo MC is an Alice in Wonderland + Rabbit mix kind of outfit. Cause she was thrown into a strange world, and is still fairly innocent.

#tw knife #tw blood #tw spider #I don't remember mentioning those three but I probably did so I'm just gonna be careful #just my thoughts #long post #somewhat analysis #dance with devils

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thedysphoriadiaries · 1 year

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Entry 37B - 27 March 2023, 1:52pm

I am nervous.

In six hours, I'll be meeting someone, and getting my first set of patches. Eight, to be exact. It's coming out of my pocket, and nobody knows.

A part of me is glad that in time, I'll finally be like those girls I've always wanted to be. That part of me is glad that the envy and other things are going to (potentially) end.

Another part of me is scared. It could be a mistake. I could just be uncomfortable with my role in society. I haven't defined what becoming a woman/girl is. I could give myself some form of withdrawal.

The thought that I could just send a text to cancel the meetup is there. I could do it.

...

I could walk away now, save $45, and forget that any of this happened.

...

I don't know what the other trans folks are going to think about what I'm doing (essentially, taking the medication before doing the thinking), and I presume that my actions would start triggering alarm bells and red flags in their heads.

But, really, what are my options here?

I've tried to run from my feelings. I've talked about it to others around me. Yet, all I see is how others, like my counsellor, recommend me to go see a therapist who specializes in gender issues, or others who tell me to accept that I'm a man, or others who tell me that it's perfectly fine, that I'm just different.

I don't feel any of those options resonate with me. I feel like a lost soul in Purgatory, aimlessly ambling about, waiting for a guide.

I don't know what to feel, really, and in that, I see how lonely it is. I feel how lonely it is.

I could accept that this is the way things are.

I could try to see if (medical) transition is for me. (then again, there's that story about how a man gave himself dysphoria by absorbing his wife's estrogen supplements through his dick during the deed). I don't know if that is the right thing.

My wants swirl again. On one hand, I don't want to feel like I'm walking in a dream. I don't want to envy women. On the other, I don't know what I want. I don't know if, in the words of that enby, the medication is right for me.

I just know I've exhausted my other options. Repressing doesn't work much. I've lost interest in my hobbies (I was supposed to go ask for a guitar repair, but have been procrastinating for a week). Even dressing as her doesn't help that much anymore - I keep thinking about how male the rest of my body is.

Sometimes, the feelings get so bad that I wish I could just pop a couple of bullets into my brain and get it done and over with. But that'd leave the question unanswered.

What other choice do I have?

What other choices would I rather have?

Is this the right thing to do? (I can imagine the people around me telling me I've changed. I have the nagging feeling that I'm faking it, that I'm lying.)

...

What do I want? I see a long-haired man in my phone's screen's reflection. As my eyes follow the silhouette of my hair (light is shining to the back of my head), I can see a semblance of the girl inside coming out.

I am scared. It's now four and a half hours to the meetup. I could walk away.

I don't know what I want.

...

Lynn, what do you want?

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kevindayisafrog · 2 years

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Folks, this is heavy but with a happy ending

🦟🦗🦟🦗

TW - hints to abuse, intrusive thoughts, grief, moving on

Kevin didn’t think he was hard to like, until he met Riko. He endured the bullying, the pain, the dark thoughts. And then he was free and with the Foxes. A new start, a new life. A new torture. What made Kevin so unlikeable?

Kevin lay on his back staring up at the black popcorn ceiling of his dorm room, thoughtless. His coffee had gone cold hours ago, left abandoned on the room’s dressing table. He lay quiet just listening to the other men’s breathing as they lay deep in a sleep. God, how he envied them. They weren’t perfect, they had shit brains that told them stuff they didn’t want to hear, just like Kevin’s. But they had one thing that Kevin didn’t: a place. No matter how many times Abby and his father told him that he had a family here, a life, Kevin couldn’t help but feel so alone. So out of place. He craved Riko’s harsh words, his beatings, his occasional kind word, because in each torturous attack, Kevin had a belonging. He had someone watching him and keeping him in place. Someone in his corner. Sure, that someone would beat him half to death in that corner, but at least he had someone. But here…

He sat up and silently stepped down the ladder from his loft, cautious not to wake anyone else up. He moved quietly into the front room and turned the TV on, catching the volume button just in time to turn it down before it woke anyone up. He opened up YouTube in the apps and typed in a name. One name that brought him so much hate and emptiness, so much pain and love. He scrolled until he found the perfect interview: one where his mother was laughing. He clicked on it and brought his knees to his chest as the video loaded, a painstaking minute passed before his mother’s bright smile and emerald green eyes appeared on the screen. “Can we all give Ms Kayleigh Day a warm welcome”, the interviewer called cheerily to the audience who erupted with cheers and clapping, an odd wolf whistle from here and there. “Hi”, Kayleigh smiled into the camera as she sat down, shaking the man’s hand with a strong grip. “Hi, mom”, Kevin whispered into the night, a painful burn of tears brimming. He watched the interview intently, watching how his mom’s fierce personality brought the interview to life, her determined eyes capturing Kevin’s full attention; eyes so much like his own that it stung his chest. “No, no, I think everyone should be able to play Exy”, his mom shook her head, making dark brown curls bounce against her shoulders, “I made the sport for everyone. And I mean everyone. Why should people be excluded just because of their gender? I made that stupid game and I’m a woman and I will kick any man’s ass that says that I can’t play my own game”. Cheers broke through the crowd, making Kayleigh’s frown turn into a bright smile, her laugh like honey as she mock bowed for the viewers. Kevin grabbed the remote and paused the interview, his eyes glued to his mom’s smile. It was so bright and nothing like the grimace that Kevin’s smile had turned into. He slid off the couch and kneeled before the screen, looking up at his mom like a small child. Fuck, how he missed her. The grief was like a constant punch to the chest; winding him whenever he felt any urge to move on. He tentatively reached up and placed his fingers against the screen, the cold TV sending a chill down his forearm. “I miss you..so fucking much. And I’m sorry that I’m not who you wanted me to be”, Kevin swallowed back a sob as silent tears began to escape down his cheeks, “I am trying to be better and I hope that one day you won’t look down on me and be disappointed”. He took a shuddering breath and dropped his hand, staring at the small pixels until he forgot who he was staring at. “I love you, mom and I’m sorry, but I don’t want to feel like this every time I think of you. I know that’s not what you want from me. So”, he wiped his clammy hands down his trouser legs, “I think I’m going to let you go. It doesn’t mean I don’t love you, it just…” Kevin trailed off and looked back up at his mom, pressing play and dropping back against the couch. The interview ended and he numbly watched as his mother blew a kiss towards the camera before leaving; the video turning black as it ended. Kevin stared at his reflection and tried not to grimace at the man he’d become. “Bye, Mom”, he whispered to the blank screen as he turned the screen off, hanging his head backwards on the couch.

Kevin dragged himself back into his room, purposely ignoring the sound of birds singing outside as the sun began to rise once again. “You know”, Andrew said into the silence, making Kevin have a full body flinch, “I really needed a piss but I didn’t want to interrupt your little breakdown”. Kevin rolled his eyes and climbed into his bed, dropping heavily under the duvet and hugging his comfort fox tight to his chest, “I’m done now so you can piss”, he grumbled before turning his back to the room. He closed his eyes and tried to sleep in the last two hours he had before his alarm went off to start his long day. He froze when he heard his ladder creak and felt the mattress dip as another body invaded his space. He turned his head to meet hazel eyes glaring down at him in mock boredom. “Move over, bitchboy”, Andrew whispered as he tried to wiggle beneath Kevin’s duvet without making too much noise and waking Neil up from the bed beneath them. Kevin nodded and moved nearer to the wall, rolling over to face Andrew’s stare. “You were crying”, Andrew whispered, his eyes assessing Kevin’s in the dark, “nightmare?” Kevin hesitated before shaking his head, he could’ve just agreed and used this excuse but he knew that Andrew saw through his lies as if they were made of glass. “My brain was too loud”, Kevin whispered softly, his voice barely audible, “I don’t feel..I don’t belong here”. Andrew made an annoyed sound at the back of his throat as he rolled his eyes, “no one belongs here. We’re rejects thrown together made to believe that we have a place on this team. But none of us do. Once we leave here we’ll either finally make it in the world or we’ll be shunned once again”. Kevin squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head, sighing against Andrew’s mop of hair. He looked down at his little boyfriend when he felt a hand curl around his chin. “This team isn’t about belonging, Kevin, it’s about taking a break. We’re here to have a breather before we’re thrown back out and once we are all out of here, then we get to see whether we belong or not. So I don’t want to hear your complaints, it’s boring because it is a lie”. Kevin moved slowly towards Andrew so that Andrew could see his approach and could choose to pull away, and was met with a soft kiss. A silent promise. A promise saying that once they left here, even if they don’t have anywhere else to go, they had each other. They’ll always belong with each other.

“I said goodbye to my mom last night”, Kevin muttered into his toast the next morning, ignoring the confused look that Andrew and Neil shared. “You didn’t tell me that we were haunted, I would’ve called the ghostbusters”, Neil laughed at his own joke and leaned his head against Kevin’s shoulder where he was sat at the dining table. “Andrew, stop culturing him”, Kevin grimaced and rested his head on top of Neil’s, watching Andrew as he set three coffee mugs onto the kitchen side. “I’m not culturing him, you should blame Nicky”, Andrew looked over his shoulder and rolled his eyes at Kevin before pouring them all coffee, adding an ungodly amount of sugar to his. “No, I’m only joking, Kev”, Neil whispered, bringing Kevin’s attention back down to him, “that’s really good, you know, moving on and shit. You deserve to be happy”. Kevin felt his cheeks blush as he pressed a kiss to Neil’s forehead. He tilted his head to the side and watched as Andrew brought their drinks over, his glasses slipping down his nose slightly. It was all so domestic that Kevin wanted to bottle it and open it everytime he was stupid enough to feel alone. And he realised with a hesitant smile that he finally was. He was happy.

#aftg #aftg trilogy #nora sakavic #tfc #all for the game #kevin day #neil josten #andrew minyard #kandreil #kandrew #kevneil #aftg textpost

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brittledame · 3 years

Text

Characters: Ushijima Wakatoshi, Tendou Satori, Yamagata Hayato, Reon Oohira, Semi Eita, Shirabu Kenjirou, Kawanishi Taichi, Goshiki Tsutomu

Word Count: 5.7K

Tags: SFW, gender neutral reader, first date nerves, fluff, ages not specified

Notes: I did this instead of working on the other projects bc I wanted some fluff and here it is!

Ushijima:

On a visit with his grandmother is when he’s told about a local pottery masterclass happening the following weekend, piquing his interest

After some research, he comes to learnt that pottery is the perfect relaxing hobby with the added benefit of fine tuning his dexterity

It didn’t take much else to convince him to go

It was only after talking to a friend that he realises he should probably invite someone to tag along

After his grandmother politely declines, he follows her coy suggestion of inviting someone he likes

He invites you seemingly out of the blue

You’ve known him for a great deal of time and done some activities with him that could be construed as “romantic” and only started dating when Ushijima stated your relationship status to his team nearly a month ago

The look on your face when you found out at the exact moment as his team was priceless

After that, Ushijima left your relationship status on no uncertain terms and practically broadcasted it in his own unique way

This pottery class serves as another way to spend more time with you

After a few minutes of the pottery teacher painstakingly going through the motions to make a basic pot, a whirring noise followed by wet splattering steals your attention away from the clump of clay that is slowly taking form.

You glance over to find Ushijima looking at you, nonplussed at the mess of what was his pot now decorating his mock and forearms, his face is not left unmarked with the few splotches painting his cheek

You gape at him as he blinks as if coming out of a daze and looks down at the poor clump of clay and murmurs a small, “Oh.”

You didn’t mean to laugh, not really, but the utter surprise in his tone topped you over

After a mild scolding from the teacher and a new clump of clay, the two of you were good to go once again

The both of you took longer than most of the class, you with fussing about the tiny bumps you just couldn’t seem to smooth out and Ushijima with his second try

The class seemed to have unlocked his innate mastery of the ancient craft, as the pot looked near store-quality, you note with an ounce of envy

The group takes a break over some snacks and drinks as the pots are loaded into the kiln

Ushijima meticulously picks through the various glazes they had to offer, seeking your assistance after you picked your own out

You suggest the purple as homage to Shiratorizawa, where you two met, and the dark-rich brown, claiming it reminded you of his eyes

He considers you for a moment, a long enough pause for you to think over your words and begin to regret them before he nods decidedly and proudly presents the glazes he picked to the lady

With the class wrapping up, the lady running the class pops up as you two inspect your creations.

“Do you mind if I take a picture to post on our social media?”

Ushijima shakes his head as you answer, “We don’t mind.”

She flashes a wide smile and aims her phone in your direction. “Great! Say ‘pottery’.”

On cue you plaster on smile and brandish the clay creation as the camera clicks.

The lady, who is somehow even more dirtied than Ushijima, inspects the picture.

“You two are so cute together!” She fawns over the two of you. “I hope you enjoy the rest of your date together.”

She disappears before either of you can correct her.

You blurt out, "Is this a date?"

A pause. Then a hum, "I suppose it is."

A shared smile, you leave the studio with linked hands.

When you get home, you prowl through the studio’s page and find the picture and break out into gut-clutching laughter at the almost-pained looking smile Ushijima makes, tiny pot perched in his large hands adding a comedic effect.

After you recover, you end up saving it and making it your screen saver.

Tendou:

For all his casual confidence, you’re the one to ask him out and he’s the one to officially declare it the “big” first date

The plan was to go manga/book shopping and eat at the in-store cafe

It sounded like a pretty cut-and-dry standard date but with Tendou anything can turn into an adventure

Ecstatic is an understatement on how excited Tendou was for the weekend

He was nearly berated a dozen times for not paying enough attention to what he was doing and almost caused a small fire at one stage

You didn’t fare much better, either

The pair of you got a great deal of laughter from relaying it to one another in the late night hours before meeting up

Although underneath it all lurked the residual anxiety he tried to fight away, so he reminds you during the call, just to check that you didn’t regret inviting him out

As much as he despised the thought, the dark voice whispering at him that you would stand him up were quickly silenced when you show up with a bright smile and his name on your lips

Tendou reckons it’s the sweetest noise he’s ever heard, right after your laughter that he coaxes out with the little melodies he sings to himself as the two of you make way to the popular bookstore

After arriving, you wonder apart to check out separate sections and end up meeting at again the in-store café with books in hand

Over the chocolate cake slice Tendou brought to share, you take turns to gush over the selected choices spread across the tabletop

“I mean it isn’t that over done.” You argue, popping another forkful of the overly-sweet cake into your mouth.

Tendou throws his hands into the air. “Are you serious? Hero meets bad guy, then they fight a whole bunch, bad guy kills a bunch of people and the hero never kills the guy because he ‘doesn’t want to stoop to their level’,” You don’t mask your laughter at the overexaggerated deep voice Tendou imitates. “It’s not fair to the people that the bad guy goes to hurt later on.”

“Oh, I entirely agree with you there.” You take a moment to wonder how Tendou has eaten nearly half the thing to himself already, you’ve barely been seated for longer than a few minutes. “When done wrong, the whole ‘taking the high ground’ troupe is really tacky.”

Tendou blinks at you like he didn’t expect you to respond. You raise a brow at him as a toothy grin spreads over his face, a slight pink painted across his pale cheeks.

“What?”

“Nothing. I like talking to someone that knows their stuff, is all. Don’t get me wrong, miracle boy is great company, but I can only try to convince him to read more than the ads they run for so long before I go insane.” He chuckles under his breath, words heartfelt enough that a matching heat spreads across your cheeks.

“I enjoy this too.”

A wide grin overtakes his face at your admittance.

“Well then, let’s not stop!” He offers, stretching his hand towards yours. You clasp it, feeling delicate against his larger one. “I still have to tell you about the whole ‘boy is given power he doesn’t know how to control and needs to find a grumpy mentor’ troupe next!”

You squeeze his hand. “I’d love to hear your thoughts on that one.”

Tendou clicks his tongue and wags his finger at you. “It’s not necessarily about my thoughts, it’s the conspiracy I think the troupe ties into.”

The seriousness in his tone made you pause, looks like you were in for a long one.

Amongst him linking the heroes journey and the innate desire for power over others, you marvel at the way his whole body comes alive when talking about something he loves.

It’s much later on, when he’s introducing you to his friends at a reunion, that you notice the bubbly and animated way he presents you to his friends, love evident in each and every word.

Semi:

Now you would think he’d be the calm and collected one after knowing each other for half a decade and dating for a month

Nope.

He's the type to plan to ask you at the perfect time, and will be in a pissy mood if he misses the "perfect" opportunity to ask

When he does finally pose the question, you’ll say yes and he’s ecstatic

Though, he will play it cool and be like, "Ok I'll text you the details later." And flash you the biggest smile that has you melting inside just a little

When he's trying to sleep that night it finally hits him

Oh shit he has to plan a date with the girl he’s been hopelessly pining for

After one text from you confirming you don’t mind where he picks, he’s both relieved and more stressed because now he has to analyse every little thing he knows about you and eventually starts doubting himself

In the end, he decides to play it safe and go with the popular, family owned cafe that plays live music Saturday afternoons

It was perfect, the music act would be quiet enough to still talk if you two wanted or serve as a mediator to break any awkward silence should it pop up

It is honestly the perfect date, in his mind

Comes the day and he swings around your place after agreeing to walk to the café together

The walk is characterised with the brisk autumn wind and catching each other up on what’s been going on during the week

The conversation doesn’t stop from there – something Semi could cry happily over

After ordering and grabbing a seat close to a stage set-up to the side, you note how bright and talkative Semi is and vow to yourself to see this more often

As he takes a sip in the middle of explaining the difference pick positions affects plucking sounds, you comment on his excitement

Even with the flush on his cheeks, he holds a suave facade and merely says that it’s hard to unwind when his friends can be so chaotic when they get together

From there he starts opening up and imparting little facts about himself that you commit to memory

You come to learn that his favourite colour was corn-silk yellow before he went to Shiratorizawa, now it’s royal purple. He loves tekka maki and boasts his mum’s hand-made ones to be the best in the world and offers to share it with you next time she makes them

All of these things slot into what you know about Semi, filed alongside the nuance’s you’ve noticed yourself.

When he’s unsure or embarrassed, he tousles his hair. And when he talks about something he’s passionate with, his hands start gesturing all about the place

You could’ve spent the whole afternoon like that, in the intimately-lit café, hidden amongst the dull chatter of the surrounding patrons, just listening to Semi’s soothing timbre

But life had other plans

The lights on the stage brighten as someone wearing comfortable clothes strolls on and perches up on the stool set-up in front of a lone microphone. She didn’t give off any signs of discomfort at being stared at as she sets up her guitar, giving a few testing strums before introducing herself and launching into her music.

It was only then that conversation broke and ushered in a lilting voice floating on gentle notes.

“They’re amazing.” You breath, eyes not leaving the stage until the musician dismounts from the stage.

“That’s what I want to do one day.”

You turn to him. “Really?”

“Yeah.” The corner of Semi’s lips quirk up a bit, a secret shared unto himself.

“Why?”

Genuine curiosity spurs you to ask, to know. While you could picture Semi perched on the same stool with a guitar all too easy, you never really thought Semi would pursue a career in the industry.

Semi finally turns to you, a fire in his eyes that was normally caused by volleyball and a good challenge. “I want to make people happy and sad - all the emotions really. I want someone to look at me like you did to that girl.”

Tilting your head you say, “Looking at her like what?”

Semi audible swallows. “Like someone that loves the music I make.”

Reaching over the table, you run your thumb over the backs of his knuckles, a comforting gesture. “Semi, I already love talking to you and hanging out, so why wouldn’t I like the music you write?”

The resultant blush on Semi’s face was answer enough to that, even though he tries to hide it behind his cup.

After that, meeting up at the café ends up becoming a weekly occurrence, an oasis that you both look forward to in the midst of life’s chaos.

Yamagata:

Yamagata actually is the smoothest out of them all

After a two weeks of dating, he bounces up to you after a particularly hard day and offers to take you somewhere fun the next day

Your definition of ‘fun’ varies from his, as you soon find out

Where Yamagata believes the best way to get to know someone and have fun simultaneously is putting them through challenges, whereas you believe sitting down and chatting to be the most optimal method

Unfortunately for him and fortunately for you, the paint ball range is closed

Amusement park it is

He leaves it as a surprise and doesn’t tell you until you question the sign of the park he visited frequently as a kid

Overall, you have an absolute ball with him, never a dull moment

Especially after the ferris wheel when Hayato goes to reach for his phone to check the time and finds it missing

The only reason he had it out in the plastic swinging booth was to take a sneaky picture of you looking carefree and relaxed as you gazed down at the park – not that he admitted to that when you asked just how it escaped his pocket

Obviously, it was a very slippery phone since this was the third time this week alone he lost it

After tracking it down with the help of the kind but tired ride operator, the two of you were on your merry way to the next ride, but not without a few light-hearted digs at Yamagata’s forgetfulness

You get to learn a lot about each other personally while waiting in line and over lunch after recovering

At the end of the day, your cheeks ache from much smiled

“I don’t remember it being that crazy as a kid.” Yamagata says, looking pale and breathing shallowly, as if to keep himself from being sick.

You couldn’t blame him, the rollercoaster he convinced you to go on under the guise of “This was my favourite one as a kid! You wouldn’t deny a man from reliving his childhood, would you?”

And like a fool you caved under the pout like a badly cooked soufflé. Now you wished you put up a bit of a fight against going on it. The screams of the riders before you were not exaggerated in the slightest.

“I don’t know how they allow kids on that.” Is all you supply, feeling a little green as well.

Yamagata directs you to the nearest bench and you follow his lead and slump into the seat.

“I don’t know how I forgot how much that thing threw me around. I must’ve just about fell off as a tiny kid. Remind me to thank my dad for coming on with me.”

You try not to laugh at the image of a tiny Yamagata ecstatically cheering as the ride swings around corners at full speed as his dad frantically tries to keep his clueless son from getting tossed out of the cart.

“Your dad is a brave man to go on that thing wilfully.”

Yamagata grimaces. “Brave is a nice way of putting it. I’d call it being insane to put up with me wanting to ride it eight times over.”

This time you do laugh.

“It must be hard saying no to your own kid, though, so cut him some slack.” You joke, knocking your elbow against his side.

He playfully pushes you away, widely grinning once again. The heat from the sun blaring ahead suddenly floods into your cheeks. The sensation of your heart feeling too large for your ribcage seizes you.

And the feeling doesn’t leave, it sticks with you as he laughs, as he drops his ice cream and pouts like a child. It intensifies as a dreamy look enters his eyes as he recalls a fond memory associated with a ride.

You hope that one day that he makes the same expression when he recalls this day spent with you.

Reon:

For some reason, Reon seems like the kind of guy to be inherently talented with gardening

He’s the resident green thumb alongside Ushijima, people pass their dying plants into Reon’s hands for magical resurrection

So it was a no-brainer for him to take you to the local botanical gardens

Rife with both native and exotic flora, there were many scenic walks available, thus was the perfect place for a first date to Reon

Reon meets you at the gates with a soft greeting and an outstretched hand – you two walk through the park with your hand intertwined like that for the rest of the day

Throughout the walk, he points out flowers and gives you their common name and their meanings, along with the meanings he gave them as a kid

It was entirely too cute for your poor heart

“And those are yellow carnation.” He points to a patch of bright yellow flowers with soft-looking ruffled petals. “They represent dislike and disappointment towards the person you give them to, but as a kid I thought they meant that she was my sunshine because of the colour. My mum got quite the kick out of it when I gave them to her for her birthday.”

You burst into laughter, unable to smother it even with Reon’s apparent embarrassment at the event

If your allergies start to play up too badly, Reon will take you to his favourite part, a densely packed section of the gardens filled with trees, concealing a secluded tiny red bridge stretched across a large koi pond with the largest and most colourful koi you’ve seen

Everything within you wanted to stretch this moment out, you could easily live in this moment forever. The buzzing of cicadas in the distance, the grass blades tickling the palms of your hands from where you sat, the soothing rumble of Reon’s voice – this is your personal slice Elysian peace

You did not want to give this up

It’s there that he finally unlinks your hands and brings out the packed lunch he made.

“You made all this?” You gape, taking in the diverse range of food he brought out of his bag.

From seared fish placed neatly atop seasoned rice, to perfectly rounded onigiri. In the next box he opens sat seasoned chicken and beef slices that made your mouth water. Not to mention the salad of rich greens, reds, and yellows that called your name.

Reon chuckles at your awe. “Yeah, I did. I thought it would be nice to eat something home-made while out here, but if you wan to grab something else-“

You cut him off immediately. “Definitely not! This looks and smells amazing. It would be a crime not to eat it.”

The corners of Reon’s eyes crinkle as he smiles, rubbing at the back of his neck. “I did try not to burn it, so I hope it tastes nice.”

“If it tastes even half as good as it smells, you’ll have to fight me to stop eating.” You reply, accepting the plate he holds out and give thanks as he starts loading your plate.

“I’d never stop you from eating,” he clicks his tongue in false sternness, to which you grin at. “If you’re hungry, I’ll feed you until your happy.”

“I’m happy right now, but I definitely still want the food.” You cheekily fire back.

Reon shakes his head, a small smile tugging at his lips.

“Well then, eat to your heart’s content.”

Taking a bite, you startle Reon with your enthusiastic reaction.

“This tastes better than I imagined.” You gush after swallowing, immediately scooping up another forkful and eating it.

Reon brushes off your compliment in favour for leaning forward and brushing some crumbs off your face. The proximity as your breath stalling in your throat as he lingers for a heartbeat longer, then withdraws.

“I hope we can do this more often. This is the most fun I’ve had in a while.” He quietly admits, the mood taking an intimate turn even with the shouts of kids playing in the distance.

“Me too. I don’t want this date to end.”

Shirabu:

This man prides himself on being observant and not oblivious like how his friends are

And yet, contrary to this, it takes him several trips to realise that he’s been on what would count as a date with you

You'll talk about needing a new jumper for winter and Shirabu will ask to tag along. You wanted to watch a movie? Shirabu is coming too. Like having someone besides you while studying? Shirabu was your go-to study buddy, whether in silence or as a conversation partner when your brain was overloaded

Out of the blue, he asks with no certain amount of panic, "Were those trips I went on with you dates?"

"I never really gave it much thought…” You match Shirabu’s expression as you consider his question. "I didn’t want to be presumptuous and assume that they were, and you never brought it up, so I left it be."

"Let me have a re-do." Determination flares in his usually guarded eyes and you couldn't refute.

“Gladly.”

Shirabu glances away from your face, unable to bear looking at the fond expression you wore for too long without his heart suffering. “I want to take you somewhere nice.”

“Everywhere I go with you is nice, Shirabu. It’s less about the place and more about the person.” You rebuke.

Shirabu looks away before you catch the full extent of his blush at your words. “No, I mean I want to take you somewhere that can become special for the both of us.”

You catch his hand in yours, tugging it for him to turn back towards you. Gone was the characteristic impassive façade, now replaced with a tenderness that makes you near melt.

Your first official date with him is a picnic in a park on top a hill to watch the sunset

Something he thinks is extremely cheesy and overdone but the look of excitement on your face immediately silenced his rebuttals

There was no way in hell that he was going to be the reason for your disappointment if he can help it

As such, he went all out

Hiring the gazebo and ordering food to be delivered from a restaurant he knows that you’ve wanted to try out for the longest time

Not that he actually tells you, but it wasn’t hard to deduce his excitement when he waits for you at the gazebo with a small smile, dressed nicely in pressed slacks and a dress shirt with a bundle of flowers

Upon the wide-eyed stare he receives from you, he spends the first minutes of the date describing what the florist thought best for him

A bunch of camellias ranging from a deep and vivid red to the first blush of love pink to the innocence of white gathered in a golden ribbon. He doesn’t exactly tell you their meanings other than a short, “Flowers are flowers, all I want them to show is that I love you.”

What he didn’t know was that the florist had the foresight to hide a card detailing the meaning of each flower amongst the paper holding them

White camellias meaning “You’re adorable” to red camellias meaning “You’re a flame in my heart” (something you blush at in the security of your own home) and the pink one representing longing

As the meal arrives and the two of you eat, the conversation drifts from current events to bits and pieces of everything and anything

The highlight of conversation was Kenjirou’s answer to the question “What do you think you’ll see first: a ghost or an alien?”

Apparently Kenjirou was secretly a space-lover

From the lecture he launched into about the statistics of it all and you come away from that conversation with more knowledge of possibility of E.T's versus spectres than you would’ve thought

The afternoon starts fading into dusk quicker than you realised, too wrapped up trading short anecdotes of your respective families

Shirabu only realises the fading light once the fairy lights decorating the space become brighter, and it is only then that Shirabu like a gentleman, brings out a blanket and escorts you to the grassy knoll besides the gazebo

Laying out the blanket, you notice it’s the perfect position to watch the sun set and you can’t help but give him a quick hug in gratitude before you sit down and make yourself comfortable

It floored you how much effort and consideration he put into this one afternoon amongst all his classes and assignments – it made you feel incredibly warm against the cool night air creeping in

As you shift to get comfortable, your hand lands on top of his. You’re just about to whisk it away, but he shoots you a soft smile and twists his hand in your grasp and gives it a squeeze

Your hands stayed intertwined as the blues faded into pinks and oranges, then into purples and the deep satiny blue of the night sky

The sunny photos with matching smiles from that afternoon soon decorate your wall

Kawanishi:

Unlike the others, Taichi really doesn’t care about being seen as “basic” for taking you out to watch a movie and grab dinner afterwards

He asked you out so casually, you agreed without it even hitting you that it was a date until he grinned at you and cheekily replied, “Great, it’s a date then.”

The movie in question was one you’ve been waiting forward for its release and Taichi was interested in it as well, so really it was an excuse for the both of you to watch the movie together instead of alone.

It went great, asides from the old couple staring the two of you in line, not so quietly reminiscing their first date

Embarrassment aside, Taichi was sweet throughout the entirety of it

Arguing to pay until reluctantly splitting the bill when you argued that it wasn’t fair

Waiting outside for it to start, Taichi and yourself bide the time by guessing what the other movies were about by their posters and making each other laugh

Once the movie starts, the chatter between you two dies down, yet the casual intimacy doesn’t fade in the slightest

Sharing an arm rest, the both of you exchange glances at one another throughout the movie, and bump elbows when something interesting or funny happens

It was a far-cry from the intimacy of the other’s dates, but it was perfect for the two of you

By now, the two of you have been friends much longer than you have been dating

Neither of you wanted to rush things, happy to take it as it comes and retain that familiarity from years of friendship stay untainted from the innate awkwardness of new love

Coming out of the theatre, Taichi is the most talkative you’ve seen him yet as he offers his opinion on the film

You avidly listen without a word of complaint

It was nice to hear what went through Taichi’s mind when he always kept his emotions close to his heart, you felt damn-near jubilant over him coming out of his shell – even after all the years of friendship

He offers to grab dinner and after a mild debate over which place is better, you end up flipping a coin and grabbing some fast food and eating it at a near-by park

Eating the meal in relative silence, it was only broken to point out the ducks and giving them names. It was laid-back and you were enjoying yourself, yet Taichi remained stiff by your side.

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m sorry if this isn’t exactly the most romantic date.” Taichi rubs at the back of his neck, avoiding your eyes.

You quirk a brow at him. “How isn’t this a romantic date?”

Taichi finally looks at you, although in confusion. “Because I should’ve taken you to a nice, fancy restaurant for our first date.”

“I work on the belief that anywhere is romantic if you make it so. It depends on the company.” You shrug.

Taichi’s mouth curves into a smirk. “Oh? So you wouldn’t mind having our next one at a cemetery?”

You dig an elbow into his side and roll your eyes at the performance he puts on.

“That’s not what I meant, smartass.”

Taichi stops the pouting and slumps into the seat. Hating the sombre mood he’s in, you curl your arm through his and tuck into his side.

“Besides, you can always make it up to me in the future. I want the place to be so expensive that the proportions are baby-sized.”

Taichi’s rich laugh rumbles through you. It was a losing battle against the rapid thrum of your heart and the thoughts of warmth that consume you with his proximity.

You also didn’t try to fight the urge to cuddle further into his side, something he gladly accepted as he wraps his arm even tighter around you.

“I promise.” He sighs, a happy noise as he rests his head against yours, two bodies becoming one whole on that one spring afternoon.

Goshiki:

Not everything in life is a competition, yet Goshiki couldn’t thrive without it

Besides, if he thought too long and hard about it (which he did) an arcade date was the best option

It presented the perfect chance to show off his skills and impress you

When he finally works up the courage to ask you, it had been a while since you’ve been, so you were more than happy to accept

Goshiki deflated with relief because a back-up option didn’t exist

Even after dating for over a month by this point, this would be the first official date he’s taken you out on

After worrying that it was too childish or not at all romantic for a first date, you spent the better half of the afternoon before it convincing him otherwise

At the arcade, Goshiki takes your hand and guides you around the place, pointing out games he bested as a teenager before finally settling on war-cross-zombie two player shooting game

With the growing win streak, the two of you continue playing the game until Goshiki accidentally gets his player killed

Pouting, he suggests a different game to soothe his bruised ego

The pout disappears as he finds a different game he’s decent at, tickets flying out as the points rack up

He glows as you praise his skill

It was too easy to bait him into playing hoop games, which he surprisingly sucked at

You discovered him to be especially gifted at reflex games, where the both of you won the most tickets

With each claw game he stubbornly refuses to “eat his hard-earned money”, he proudly passes off each plushie to you

Goshiki wins whatever prize your eyes linger over, no matter how frustrated it makes him

With each one, you promise to keep and inwardly muse that you’ll have to install a new shelf for them

A few hours deep, you had managed to win him an eagle. It’s the only prize you had won big enough to portray the amount of affection you held towards the bowl-cut male.

It was a bit mishappen and looked more fit to be the mascot for a horror game than a children’s show, however you still offered it to him.

His eyes grow wide. “Really?”

“I mean, I can get you something better if you give me a few minutes…” You frown at the plushie as Goshiki holds it up. It’s even uglier in the light. Why the hell would they have this as a prize?

You reach out to grab it from him and Goshiki snatches it away from your grasp, pressing it into his chest and curling around it protectively. “No!”

You stand there, stunned, as Goshiki flushes at the looks he got from the shout and starts stumbling over his words.

“I mean, it’s fine and not creepy at all – No, I mean it’s cute,” he unconvincingly amends at your wince. “It’s something that you worked hard to get. I’ll treasure it forever, I swear.”

The conviction in his voice was enough to ease your concern.

“I could get you a better one, though. One that’s less creepy.” You offer, gesturing towards the wide array of claw machines boasting figurines and cuter plushies.

“No thank you. I like this one.” Goshiki is stubborn and you should’ve expected that.

You sigh, lips unsurely pulling upwards. “If you’re sure?”

Goshiki gives a sharp nod, and you know that that’s the end of that. He would not budge.

Yet you couldn’t find it within yourself to be exasperated at the awe-filled look he gives the plushie as you two leave the arcade, holding it like it was made of expensive finery instead of cheap thread and fabric.

Months later you got to see the monstrosity again, tucked up on the shelf above his bed, proudly sitting between medals he’s won through the years.

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zackcrazyvalentine · 3 years

Text

A little bit of Love: Kiss me through the screen [Leviathan x Reader]

Summary: Just because people are shy (like, intensely reclusively shy), doesn't mean they go unnoticed by love!

Extra info: fluff, gender neutral reader

-- -- --

A/N: Yes, you will see two characters with this same prompt... I simply thought both of them fit it well, so why not share both ideas!

Remember to pass by tomorrow for another story!

Enjoy~!

[Index] [AO3 link]

-- -- --

"Levi" You tapped his shoulder a few times to get his attention, "The pizza's about to get here. Pause the movie while I go pick it up."

Your food is about to arrive! Please, wait for the delivery person at the door.

Thank you for choosing OniEats!

The demon did as ordered while you stood and stretched, sweet relief for your legs and back. You were soon heading for the door.

"Wait, before you go...uh…" His shyness caught up to him. "Can… we keep a video chat while you do that? Just w-wanna make sure none of those normies pester you while you're out there." The room was dark, but the screen's glow allowed you to see the blush on his cheeks.

Wasn't he just the cutest~?

You giggled, "Sure thing, Levi. I see no problem with that."

After starting a video call through the messaging app, you went out to the bright, blinding outside.

"Jeez, Levi" You talked while rubbing your eyes, "Maybe up the brightness in your room a bit? I almost lost my vision there."

"Never! My room is perfectly arranged and decorated to make the optimal gaming and movie watching room!" Lips twisted in a pout, "Do you want me to compromise that?! I thought you were a fellow otaku that understood." He finished complaining.

Making your way to the mansion's main entrance, you apologized. "Alright, okay! I'm sorry! Just...be mindful of your vision from time to time, yes?"

"Oh, food's here!" You rushed the rest of the way there. Light chatter continued on with Levi as you traversed halls to get to your pizza.

Your food has arrived. Contact your delivery person for any inconveniences or instructions for delivery.

Thank you for choosing OniEats!

His voice resounded clearly after you closed the main entrance to the House of Lamentation. "[Name]~ I can't see you~!" Levi drawled out in his mildly bored tone.

The Avatar of Envy perked up. "Ah, thanks for remembering we ran out of snacks! Please bring my Bocky!"

You had placed the phone over the pizza boxes in order to carry them without trouble, making him look up to the ceiling.

"I'm still here, don't worry! Need all available limbs to carry the food, drinks and snacks back y'know?"

You continued to talk nonsense about the movie you were watching as you gathered everything.

"It's very predictable, isn't it?"

"Yeah, quite so lol…. Would you… like to see something else?" The reclusive demon proposed.

"Well, we've already committed this far, it would feel even more fruitless to not finish it."

"Guess you're right." A sighed escaped him. "Just say the word and we can watch anything you want, k? You have my library to choose from and websites with big catalogues at your hand."

….

"But of course you'd choose TSL, right?" He quickfired back.

His answer made you laugh. "Oh, Levi, aren't you the silliest, cutest demon around~?"

"H-Huh?!" The blue haired blushed once more.

"Anyways, I'm 'bout to go back and I need absolutely every limb in my possession to get there in just one trip." You held your D.D.D. up to your face, "See you there, Levia-chan~!" A kiss to the camera before ending the call and walking back to his room was your way to tell Levi goodbye.

Meanwhile, your timid friend short circuited. Brain displaying the “blue screen of death”, face aflame in the brightest blush, hands trembling so much the digital device fell to his lap. Leviathan stared blankly ahead.

"What did-? What just-?! [Name]-?! Kiss?!!!"

Everything downed on him as his heart beat rapidly. He took to hiding his face on the pillow he was hugging in order to dissipate the nerves….

"This is not working!!!"

"What did they think they were doing?! Acting like that with no care on how it'll affect me?!"

"[Name], that was a direct hit! A critical hit to my heart!"

"What sort of intimacy level did I unlock?! How do I proceed?!”

“WHERE'S THE GUIDE?! I NEED IT!!!"

As the demon panicked, you safely arrived back to his room, decked on all sorts of snacks and foods for your movie night. No sound whatsoever registered in his fright. All the while you arranged your snacks around the table and floor, Levi remained motionless.

"Perhaps it was overkill." You began to worry about your friend. Maybe a kiss through the screen is still too much for him?

You wanted to make sure he was fine, but before any words could come out your mouth, the Avatar of Envy resumed the movie. Shrouded in darkness, with the screen as your only source of light, you remain in silence as food was devoured.

A trembling hand slowly inched its way towards yours. You became aware of it once his pinky brushed against yours. Throwing a glance at the demon beside you, you noticed how he tried to act nonchalant and casual while the furious blush remained evident on his cheeks.

The silence was heavy, but it helped Levi make up his mind.

“T-Time for my critical hit on you!”

“Levi… you’re too cute for your own good, you dork!”

“Alright, that’s it.” You whispered.

A little help came his way, for you entwined your fingers together.

He flinched, eyes locking with yours after finally turning around, and then he shifted them: looking at your hands, then back to you, hands, you, hands again, you once more.

“Whu-?” Were his last words before you climbed onto his lap.

“[N-Name]?! What do you think you’re doing?! We agreed to...keep watching the movie! You know I don’t like changes of plans last minu-!” Simply wrapping your arms around his neck and looking right into his eyes (with a cute teasing smirk on your lips) was enough to stun him.

You remained like that for a few minutes. “Alright then, if he’s too nervous to take action, I’ll show him the way.”

So, you leaned onto him and buried your face on the crook of his neck.

His breathing hitched, but finally….

Levi allowed himself to indulge, indulge in your softness and nice scent as he, too, wrapped his arms around you and nuzzled into your neck. A soft groan left him as he relished on your warmth.

Patting his head, you reminded him, “Levi, you can hug me whenever you want. Hug me, hold my hand, ask me to sit closer, play with my hair, you can even ask for kisses! I don’t mind the affection. I want to show my affection to you, okay?”

“I’ll...try to remember that.” He was calm enough to talk now.

“So…” The demon continued, “Can we watch TSL now? This boring movie has ended.”

“Oh, perfect! It was getting tedious to watch. Please play the DVD~!”

[END♡]

Hope it was to your liking!

-- -- --

Levi’s too cute, I can’t aaaaaaaaaaa

Man, I've been disconnected from Obey Me for a WHILE, but writing all this and going through the tag in Tumblr has me all soft for characers and wanting to go back to the game.....maybe I'll do that after finishing this special 👀

Rememebr to pass by tomorrow for another story!

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dex-xe · 3 years

Text

BBC Ghosts x Eurovision

No one asked for this (and I’ve already seen a few people discussing this but haven’t seen anyone go into much detail) but here are some headcanons about the ghosts watching Eurovision 2021!! Eurovision has been one of my special interests since I was a little kid so combining it with my current special interest just seems right!!

(Also pls comment your own headcanons or even better send them to my inbox AND also send new headcanon topics for us to chat about cause I’ve missed doing that!!)

- Firstly it’s definitely Mike’s doing,, Alison jokes it’s a bit tacky and kinda cringe and Mike is *deeply* offended insisting the tack is what makes it fun.

- Alison also really enjoys it but also enjoys teasing Mike about his affinity

- Alison shows the ghosts a few YouTube clips of old years

- Kitty, Mary, and Humphrey are all well up for watching straight away,, also Pat but we’ll talk about him in a minute.

- Robin doesn’t really get the point (countries are a stupid idea according to him so having a country based competition where people actually get serious about it is just daft).

- Thomas and Fanny both hate the clips they’re shown and call it the “lowest form of entertainment” they’ve ever seen.

- The Captain is also above it... or so he says but he finds his foot tapping along to Emmilie De Forest and is *horrified* at himself

- Julian is straight away racist,, a comment here about EU bureaucracy, another snipe there about Russia. Alison shuts his complaining down very quickly and tells him he can’t say anything he wouldn’t be happy someone saying about the UK or else his phone privileges will be taken away.

- Pat is the only ghost who has seen Eurovision before (Julian has always refused on principle).

- He used to watch it with his family and put on a proper spread for everyone (cause we all know Pat was the family cook). I’m talking mini sausage rolls, tiny sandwiches, a cheese and pineapple hedgehog (totally not what my family does for Eurovision every year... hmmm) and then also a trifle cause it’s the most English pudding ever and you gotta support the home side.

- (I’m hungry,, can you tell??)

- Once Alison has explained to them how the show works, most of them agree to watch - Thomas once he learns of the beautiful women competing and Fanny the same with the men.

- The Captain however begins taking it very seriously once he starts to realise the tactical elements of it,, while he likes the performances, he spends the entire afternoon rewatching previous years scoring segments making mental notes of what gets support and who votes for who.

- The evening comes round and everyone gathers to watch in the TV room.

- The second the flag parade starts everyone is engrossed - even Fanny can marvel at the spectacle of it.

- (I’m not gonna talk about every performance cause Jeez that’s long but here are what I think everyone’s favourites would be.

- Robin really loves Finland and Italy,, anything loud and rocky he’s straight up off the floor and jumping along (same Robin, same) but he falls completely silent and watches in awe at the Spanish entry because of the giant moon (he then also asks Alison to buy a huge moon for the living room - she’s says she’ll think about it).

- Kitty is fully rooting for Malta - Lizzo girlboss vibes is what Kitty lives for. It’s also helped that Alison expressed quite an interest for that one as well.

- Thomas is expecting to like the pretty girls but absolutely falls for Switzerland straight away. Curly haired, blouse-wearing emotional guy with incredibly dramatic dancing is just 😍😍 for him (same Thomas,, can’t decide if he’s very attractive or if it’s gender envy or what??).

- Julian supports the UK... he thinks the song is shit but cannot bring himself to compliment anyone else.

- Pat is an Iceland kind of guy (ily dadi,, you were robbed #eurovision2020winners) and he fully finds himself trying to dance along, smiling all the way through their performance. He likes the weirder ones,, the ones were everyone is clearly just having a blast.

- Humphrey likes the emotional ones,, Bulgaria is a favourite. Righttttt up until France - he picked up a little French from his wife, enough to figure out what Barbara’s talking about and is just in tears by the end.

- Mary actually finds herself enjoying the more folky, traditionally European ones. This comes back to my Morris/folk dancing Mary so I feel like she��d appreciate like Ukraine and Russia - also for the like strong woman aesthetic.

- Fanny is abhorred by the outfits and music but does join Julian in his reluctant support of the UK, she instead prefers to mutter her abuses of the skimpy outfits to the Captain.

- The Captain is also drawn in by the emotional ones like Humphrey, specifically France again. However, a shaggy and shirtless Damiano David jumping about the place in eyeliner and tight trousers awakens something in him he didn’t know was there. He’s horrified by the group and the loudness and the outfits and everything but is also very much intrigued in a way that disturbs him.

- Mike also likes Italy quite a bit cause he’s an Arctic Monkeys/Killers kinda guy (he is,, don’t @ me cause me tooooo Mike) and Alison tends to agree with him but also, like I said, agrees with Kitty on the girl power ones.

- Once the scoring starts, the ghosts start getting noisier and talking amongst themselves about the acts and who they would vote for (they’re not allowed to vote cause Alison refuses to pay for her dead housemates to get a vote each).

- The Captain edges closer to the TV as the others talk over his beloved scoring system, completed overshadowing the research the Captain has done.

- It ends with the Captain sat cross legged in front of the TV with Humphrey in his lap explaining precisely what was happening to Humphrey.

- When it gets towards the end everyone hushes up and they all watch as Italy win. Most of them celebrate.

- Fanny is greatly disturbed by the winners and laments the state of music these days. The Captain vocally agrees but also can’t draw his eyes from the screen.

- Julian has some very choice words for the public for giving the UK a big fat 0.

- Kitty says she’s just glad that everyone had a good time and enjoyed their performances. She also wishes that she could go to the show (don’t we all).

But yeah that’s my collection of headcanons for Eurovision,, once again proving I am a massive nerd who spends too much time putting together little stories.

Anyway,, if you have any more Eurovision headcanons feel free to comment them or send them to my inbox so I can reply and add to them. Similarly, if you have any other shows/music/events/literally anything that you think I should make ghosts headcanons for or that you have hcs for then send them over to my inbox as well!! Love yall stay safe, drink some water if you’ve managed to read this far :)

#bbc ghosts

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rantingcrocodile · 2 years

Note

my friend is trans and he's questioning whether he's gay or bi- he finds it difficult bc he finds attraction and gender envy difficult to differentiate. he's still feminine so he can't tell if he likes the style of a woman or feels genuine attraction. do you have any advice I can give him?

I think to start that it's a good idea to tell your friend that the struggle that he's going through is part of a general bisexual experience.

I remember being young and thinking, "This is my favourite character and I love it when she's on screen," but with the benefit of hindsight, I had stupidly big crushes on them that I couldn't recognise at the time. We're so used to heterosexuality being paraded around as the norm that it's easier to spot being attracted to the opposite sex, and if you have experience of being attracted to the opposite sex, then internalised biphobia deliberately downplays same-sex attraction, where you end up second, third and fourth guessing yourself over whether it's real, even though it's just as pronounced and obvious as opposite-sex attraction. (The same is true in the opposite direction, if you're bisexual but have your first real experiences of attraction being towards the same-sex, and then you end up downplaying your opposite-sex attraction!)

The most important advice to give him is that he's not on a timer. He doesn't have to figure out what his sexuality is right this second. He has the rest of his life to figure it out.

Does he feel butterflies when there's a woman that he might be attracted to around him? Does he daydream about her as a person, away from any aesthetics? Does he want to hold her? Kiss her? Does the idea of sex with a woman intrigue him or repulse him? (Sex, as an important reminder, isn't just PIV sex, and he doesn't have to feel constrained by "I can't be attracted to women if I'm uncomfortable at the idea of PIV," because sex is more complicated than that for a bunch of different reasons.)

Tell him that whatever he eventually figures out, he's not alone and there are people who care. If he's over the age of 18, then he is more than welcome to join the bisexual discord for some more advice and support!

#crocodilian answers #<3

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itstittycitybaby · 4 years

Text

What is Lost is Once Found Again (Lin Beifong x fem! reader)

A/N: this is the angst fic and i have finished editing it. been feeling down lately because of some things so whens a better time to write something angsty? also reader is a firebender bc i feel like firebenders do not get enough love. enjoy yall.

warnings: angst, emotional/physical abuse, one homophobic slur.

You saw how happy they were. They couldn’t keep their hands off of each other. The bouquet of flowers fell from your hands. Its petals falling like the pieces of your heart that shattered. Though, this was your fault wasn’t it? You had introduced them after all and they hit it off. The rest was history. She laughed; Tenzin had made her laugh. Your vision became blurry from the tears in your eyes. You wanted to scream. You had been too late. Lin looked over and waved at you. There was a grin on her face, something you never really saw from her. You swallowed the cry that threatened to claw its way out. The urge to vomit was strong. You waved back weakly. Their attention turned from you and back to them. The fresh wild flowers you had picked for her were now damaged. It didn’t matter anymore. She looked so happy standing next to him. Lin’s green eyes looked a bit soft as she noticed the bouquet. It was a rare sight to see her so happy. Her voice sounded blurry and muddled. It felt like you were watching a movie play out on the big screen of a theatre. Tenzin looked concerned at your state of being. Here you were standing in front of them but you seemed gone. Lin’s voice snapped you out of your daze.

Her strong features pulled in concern as she called your name softly. “Are you alright?” No, you weren’t. You couldn’t tell Lin how much it hurt to see how happy she was with Tenzin. You couldn’t confess your feelings that you’ve been harboring for a while. Tenzin was your best friend and you didn’t want to ruin how joyful he was. If he knew he’d step aside and let you have her. He’d swallow it all down just for you. Blinking, your lips quivered. “I-I was just going to visit my father’s grave,” you lied. Their faces dropped; they knew how important your father had been to you. “Is that what you were going to give him,” Tenzin asked gently, head motioning to the now ruined flowers on the gravel. At that moment you hated Tenzin. He was so soft and kind that you felt guilty about falling in love with his girlfriend. You nodded, “Doesn’t matter anyways. I-I gotta go...see you later.” They tried to stop you; they called after you but you ignored them. She was gone now. You were too late. They were so enamored with each other now it didn’t matter anymore. The ache in your heart was deep. You felt anchored in the cold icy waters of the ocean but you couldn’t reach out. Cement blocks held your feet every time as you dragged through the sand. The ache in your bones became numb with the cold and every time you screamed you’d choke on the water. He makes her happy, you told yourself. I was too late.

Neither of them really talked to you anymore. It was expected, though. They were a new couple in the honeymoon phase. That’s how your mother put it, the alcohol in her system making her words slur and her movements clumsy. Your father’s anniversary of his death had passed a couple days ago and your mom became even more depressed. You fought the urge to scorch the walls that night when she spat her venomous words towards you. They were a sharp blade but you didn’t care. It would sink its blades into your skin and blood would rise. Eventually, it all became numb. Her sharp hilt of words became numb once more. “It’s your fault he’s dead. It’s your fault he’s gone.” The words stung but she was right. Your father’s death was your fault. “You know,” Tenzin started, his legs swinging off the steps of your porch. “My family will always welcome you.” It was cold that night. The freezing air bit your fingers and the wind whipped your clothes around. Tenzin had come to check up on you. He always did every anniversary. “I know,” you said softly. “I know.”

“No wonder she doesn’t talk to you anymore. A handsome and kind man sweeps Lin off of her feet. I’d do the same.” Your mother was sober this morning. She was back to her usual jabs but the eggs in front of you helped drown her out. You clenched your fork tightly, your knuckles turned white. “Too bad you couldn’t get him first.” You slammed your fist down on the counter. Flames flickered in your hands. Its tongues threatened to burn the counter you sat at. Your mother whipped around, eyes growing wide at your burning hands. You could feel how scared she was. She didn’t bother you anymore that day.

Dammit Tenzin! Lin’s room was warm compared to your frozen house. You always envied her for it but not tonight. You held her tight as she vented about her boyfriend. Well, now ex boyfriend. The thought made you scoff. Pema was a sweet girl but she was selfish. Incredibly selfish. “Am I just unloveable?” You snapped out of your thoughts. Lin didn’t shed any tears but her voice sounded so broken. “No Lin no,” you said softly, rubbing her shoulder supportively. “Tenzin’s just a dumbass. Pema is selfish and wanted to break two people’s happiness. Tenzin was stupid to got for it. You are loveable Lin.” I love you. Lin swallowed thickly; you could see her fighting the tears. “It’s stupid to cry over.” “No,” you exclaimed, pulling her into your chest. “It’s something perfectly justified to cry over! If you wanna cry you should, it’s good to cry.” “Heh. Thanks.”

You smiled softly. The moon shone on her pale features beautifully through her bedroom window. You had snuck out that night but your mom had drunk herself to sleep. You couldn’t help but think how selfish Pema was to break two people apart. While you had kept your mouth shut and swallowed the hurt, she paraded around with Tenzin. Lin’s bedroom window was open after she helped you in. You felt guilty about throwing a small rock near her window. But, when you heard Tenzin had broken up with her from some gossip in town, you made haste to Lin. The box of fudge from the bakery you had bought for her was almost empty from eating both of your feelings. “Please don’t hurt him,” Lin said softly in your arms. Her eyes were heavy and her breathing was more shallow. “I’ll try not to,” you joked. She laughed. For the first time that night she laughed and your heart swelled at the thought. “Night Lin,” you whispered, setting her gently onto the bed. She snored softly, causing your heart to swell. You kissed her head and ventured home.

You swung your feet from Lin’s bathroom counter. Tenzin and Lin hadn’t talked in a little over a year. Being your best friend the two of you talked and you gave clipped answers when he’d ask about her. Anytime you saw Pema you felt the rage and felt flames in your palms threatening to burst. You had yelled at him for an hour about how stupid and selfish he was. Aang had to come outside and see what all the ruckus was about. “Fuck,” you said tightly. You came back to the present from the stinging pain of the rubbing alcohol. “Sorry,” Lin muttered. For being such a hardass she was gentle when she needed to be. The cotton ball was soft on your temple, giving you some relief. At least the nosebleed stopped, but your eye was beginning to swell. “She can’t be doing this to you anymore,” she said softly, her brows worrying. For being nineteen, Lin looked pretty mature. Though, she had always been more stern and responsible even as a kid.

“It’s fine,” you muttered, brushing it off. You winced at the alcohol again. “No it’s not,” she replied sternly. You could see her green eyes flare up but there was concern and worry underneath it. “If you need somewhere to stay you can stay with me. I don’t want you to have to go through this anymore.” You didn’t interrupt her rant. Interrupting Lin is the equivalent to poking a grumpy old bear/ “What happened this time?” You sighed. You really didn’t want to have this conversation. Lin was open minded about certain things but you weren’t sure about being attracted to the same gender. It was still something you yourself were coming to terms with. Your mother had found out and the glass bottle shattered on the wall. It was meant for your head. “Just her being her usual self. Getting mad at something,” you clipped. Lin could tell you weren’t telling the whole story but she let it drop, thankfully. “All done,” she said. “Thanks.” She nodded in reply. “Do you need to stay here tonight?” “I don’t wanna intrude. I can stay at Kiki’s.” Kiki’s was the bakery you had bought the box of fudge for Lin when Tenzin broke up with her. The owner was always kind to you and knew about your struggles. He was warm hearted and offered you a place to crash from time to time. He reminded you of your father. Lin shook her head. “You’re staying here tonight. Besides, I just got this place and I want to spend time with you.” Your heart warmed at her words. An unrequited crush, two years strong. How sad. Your mother’s words rang in your ears. “How could she ever love a fag like you?”

It was raining that morning. Kiki’s had hired you as a baker and offered you the room upstairs. Even though firebenders were known to be ambitious, passionate, and more aggressive than others, you had no drive or ambition. You didn’t know what you wanted in life but baking was something you were passionate about. “I’m gonna be out,” you shouted over your shoulder. “Alright be safe,” Maro, the store owner, called out from the back. Swinging your satchel over your shoulder you grabbed the box of leftover donuts for Lin. You balanced the two coffee cups on the box and swiftly left the place. Your bright blue bicycle rested on the side of the bakery. As you mounted your bike you smiled, excited to see Lin today. The two coffee cups sat in the cup holders on the sides of the basket while the donuts sat safely in the basket.The wind whipped through your hair and the rain drizzled lightly. The rain was light but you peddled quickly so the food wouldn’t be ruined. Lin’s wasn’t too far Kiki’s either. It felt freeing to be peddling down the hills; your worries flew away with the sweeping wind. Her apartment came into view. The thought of seeing her made you peddle faster. You placed your bike on the side of the building and pounded up the stairs. You held the box of donuts tightly in your hands, shielding it from the now pouring rain. Your heart quickened as you reached her front door. You had left Kiki’s at eight so she had to be up by now. You knocked on her door. Faintly, you could hear her footsteps. Lin greeted you with a blanket on her shoulders and a white tank top under it. Black sweats hugged her body nicely. The dark circles under her eyes were prominent in the bright gray morning. “What a surprise,” she said, the corners over her lips tugging upwards. You chuckled, “Had some leftovers and decided to visit. It’s been a while.” Her eyes lightened up at the sight of coffee and the delicious pastries. Lin held the door for you as you balanced the goodies and stepped into her apartment.

“Talked to Tenzin finally.” You almost choked on the sprinkled donut you were eating. Lin held her coffee cup in her hands as she glanced down at her kitchen counter. Her plain glazed donut sat on a napkin untouched. You gulped your food down. “That’s..great. What’d he say?” Lin chuckled at your answer. “He apologized, actually.” She sipped her black coffee. “Oh…” you trailed off. You weren’t sure how to respond. He had broken up with her three years ago and now apologized? “I don’t feel anything about it anymore. I was surprised, honestly.” You hummed, sipping your hot chocolate. “Took him long enough.” Lin snorted, “It did. I just can’t help but wonder...why.” You shot a confused glance her way, digging into the box for another sweet. A chocolate donut, this time. You missed the smile Lin had as she saw your childlike wonder and excitement about something so small as a pastry. “No one seems to have any interest in me anymore. Can’t help but wonder if I’m going to die alone,” she joked, taking another sip of her drink. You could hear a bit of sadness in her voice though. Passion bubbled in your chest and before you could think better you opened your mouth. “You’re not gonna die alone Lin. You’re sweet and kind and compassionate. You care about the people you love and are fiercely loyal. You’re intelligent and observant and also snarky. You’re just so….perfect!” The creeping anxiety surged when the answer you met with was silence. Muffled laughter escaped Lin’s lips as she tried to keep a straight face. It was rare; her body shook and the giggles turned into laughter. It rang in your ears and your heart swelled at the perfect sound. Before you could stop yourself, you kissed her.Her lips tasted like coffee and mint. She smelt like earth, paper, and leather. Her lips were soft and plush. Your eyes widened and immediately you pulled back. “I-I’m so s-sorry I-,” you sputtered, scurrying away from her. Lin just stared. There was no expression on her face as she looked at you. You felt tears run down your cheeks before you had a chance to stop them. A heavy lump sat in your throat and you dashed to get your bag. You left without another word, slamming Lin’s door behind you. She didn’t even try to stop you.

“I’m a fucking idiot,” you sobbed, the rain pouring, soaking you to the bone. You peddled faster, sobs unleashing from your throat. The road was hard to see from the rain and your blurry vision. You didn’t care, if something or someone hit you you would accept your fate. Hell, that would be a good one. Better than losing Lin for good. Once you wheeled your bike to it’s spot you dashed into Kiki’s. Customers sat at tables leaving the workers distracted so you bolted upstairs. You didn’t feel like having Maro interrogate your crying right now. As much as you loved the big jolly man, you couldn’t let him see you like this. You changed out of your wet clothes and threw on something comfortable. For the rest of the day you let your blankets embrace you and cried your heart out. Eventually, you drifted off to sleep.

It was five pm once you woke up again. The memory of kissing Lin and acting so stupid made you curse. Tears threatened to spill again and you trembled. A soft knock snapped you out of your thoughts. “Come in,” you croaked. Maro opened the door poking his head in. “Are you alright?” The dam broke loose. Instantly you were a sobbing mess again. The man who was almost like your father closed the door quickly and held you in his arms. “What happened,” he cooed, rocking you back and forth. You told him everything;about your mother, your father, and Lin. After you were finished he kissed the top of your head. “Give her some time. She’ll come around with an answer for you soon. She’d be lucky to have you.” “Thanks Maro,” you sniffled, wiping your eyes. A few moments of silence stretched. You didn’t believe his words, something told you that you pushed Lin away for good.“I think I’m gonna have to leave.” The giant man beneath you squawked. “I need to learn how to control my firebending still. I’ve shut it away for so long, I think it’s time now.” Maro sighed, “I knew this day would come. You’re sure of it? What if Lin comes for you?” You shook your head. “I don’t think she will Maro.” “Alright. When you come back, you have a home here at Kiki’s. Y’know that right?” “I-I know. Thank you Maro.”

The next morning Maro and his brother waved you off. Maro cried as he gave you one last hug and a box of sweets for the go. You felt tears well up in your eyes as you said goodbye to your only family. “T-thank you Maro for everything. I never deserved your kindness.” “Yes you do, you’re family. You’re my daughter,” Maro blubbered. Even Maro’s brother who was a stone faced man had tears in his eyes You smiled. Your lips quivered and tears streamed down your face. “I love you guys,” you choked out. “I-I’ll be back soon I promise.” With one last goodbye you made your way to Tenzin and his family for a farewell.Tenzin was sad to see you go but he understood. Some journeys were meant to be traveled alone. Aang wished you the best of your travels and sent a wool cloak with you. It was soft and the warmest thing you ever owned. Pema was there, and you were civil with her, but after what she had done to Lin you didn’t see her the same. Tenzin had given you an amulet he was keeping for you and it hung around your neck proudly. You hurried to the docks of Republic City. Missing the boat would certainly add to your already dampened spirits. As you swept through the streets you couldn’t help but think of Lin. The wounds were still fresh but you trudged on. Like a coward, you ran.

Your room was barren and cold. ‘Had it always been this cold,’ Lin thought. The baker, Maro, looked sad today. It was unusual for he was joyful and warm. But today his flame had been blown at, the smoke curling around his heart. Lin was paralyzed when you had kissed her. She couldn’t move until it was too late. A white envelope sat on your desk. Lin. She ran to the desk and ripped it open. As she read it, her eyes widened and her eyes felt watery. Dammit. She was too late. Lin flung the letter on the floor and bolted to the docks. The white parchment paper sifted through the air gracefully until it fell on the ground.

Lin,

I’m sorry. I did what must be done.

Goodbye,

“No!” Lin cried out as the boat sailed away from view. Tears spilled from her cheeks and her teeth clenched. Her fists were balled tightly and her face twisted in anguish. You were gone, forever. She stood on the busy docs;people went around her throwing dirty looks her way. She didn’t care. They went around her mumbling under their breaths. She had been too late. “Line five, ship is boarding, line five, ship is boarding,” the guy called out. Lin perked up. Were you still here? Quickly, she scanned the line. Her heart stopped. She recognized the familiar body and the wool cloak shrouded protectively across their shoulders. Lin bounded over to you. Her hand grabbed your wrist tightly and she pulled you out of the line. “Hey-” your eyes widened as you saw her. “Lin? What are you-” “You’re an idiot you know that?” You gulped. You didn’t think Lin would talk to you anymore but her anger wasn’t unexpected. “I-I’m sorry,” you said softly, averting her intense gaze. “I-I wasn’t thinking clearly and I admit that. But if you’ve come here to ridicule me-” Lin smashed your lips with hers. A muffled squeak in surprise left you but you melted into her touch. Lin’s hands held your face tightly and her chest brushed up against yours. You sighed into the kiss allowing her tongue to enter your mouth and gently sucking on yours. She pulled away;both of you out of breath. Your cheeks heated up at the realization that the love of your life liked you back. “How long have you loved me,” Lin asked softly. Her eyes shone with fondness as she looked at you. “You know when you started dating Tenzin?” She nodded. “I was gonna confess to you then.” Lin’s eyes widened in shock. “Why didn’t you tell me?” You smiled sadly, “You looked so happy. I didn’t want to ruin that.” Lin kissed you again. Her hands held your waist in a tight grip and she bent you lower. You giggled, grabbing her face for support. There were tears in her eyes as she looked at you. You felt your eyes start to water and you laughed softly. “I love you,” Lin whispered, tears threatening to spill. “Don’t you ever leave me again.” You smiled, you were crying again but these were happy tears instead. Gently, she wiped the spilling tears from your cheeks with her thumbs. They felt a bit rough but you couldn’t complain. You nodded, swallowing thickly. “I love you too Lin.”

#legend of korra #legend of korra fanfic #legend of korra x reader #lin beifong x reader #lin beifong #angst #x reader #reader insert

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flirtyhyuck · 3 years

Text

cuddle me close

; five positions jaemin likes to cuddle you in

; jaemin x gender neutral reader

; cuddling, fluff, domestic, established relationship, minor argument comfort

; 1.7k wc

The spoon

The moment Jaemin is tucking himself into bed, his arm is reaching out to grasp at your waist, pulling you closer. “Come here,” he groans.

“Clingy,” you chuckle into the evening air. His chest, unclothed because it’s too humid to be wearing clothes right now, presses against your back, arms winding around your torso so tightly that you can practically feel your rib cage getting smaller. “Jaemin, let me breathe, will you?”

“Sorry,” he whispers into the spot behind your ear. His exhaustion is felt through the vibrations that rattle through down your neck, simmering down in your shoulders with a light buzz in the way only his raspy voice can. The hold around your waist loosens up the tiniest bit, not enough to actually matter but you choose not to say anything, just smiling to yourself.

With the puffs of air Jaemin lets out, tickling the lobes of your ears, your eyes lull shut to blanket the room in darkness. “Long day?” you ask, aware Jaemin only ever cuddles like this when he’s drained, preferring to face you most of the time.

Apparently too tired to respond with actual words, he just hums in agreement. His legs fold and huddle closer, knees bent in a ninety degree, raising in a way that pushes your own legs up to rest your bum on his thighs, lower back pressed into his pelvis. “Turn off the light,” he mumbles, dragging the words.

You reach out to turn off the lamp but don’t even make it half of the distance you need to, limb falling with a dejected sigh. “Let go of me.”

Even with your back turned to the boy, you see the concerned frown taking over his face immediately, eyebrows drawing in softly. “What?”

“Dumbie,” you giggle, tapping at his wrist to prompt him to let go, “I can’t turn it off with you holding me down.”

There’s a few moments of white noise, your clock ticking and the aircon humming a little too loud before Jaemin lets out a quiet noise of realisation. “Well,” he murmurs, nosing back into the crook of your neck, “guess we’re sleeping with the light on tonight.”

The butt cheek to cheek

“Where was it you wanted to go tomorrow?” you ask Jaemin. The soft petting of his foot against your ankle halts for a moment to think, shoulders going still against yours before remembering.

“That cafe that opened in Jisung’s campus food court, apparently he scored a job there,” he replies. You always thought it was weird you could feel Jaemin’s breathing pattern through his back when it’s pressed up against yours, his inhales deep and chesty.

“Huh?” you ask. His whisper combined with facing away from one another doesn’t exactly make for the best conversation. He repeats his answer once again, a little louder this time, and hums when you do, acknowledging one another.

Both of you tap at your phones- you checking up on notifications and messages while Jaemin does whatever he’s doing on his. “Woah,” Jaemin breathes, turning around to tap your shoulder as a way to ask you to copy his actions. You flop to lay down on your other side, now facing your boyfriend as he shoves his phone screen in your face. “Look at where Hyuckie and his girlfriend went for their anniversary.”

“Damn,” you mumble, staring at the romantic restaurant behind Haechan’s dressed up partner on Snapchat, mouth drooling when the story continues to another snap of him and her clinking glasses of wine over steak, “mad envy.”

“I know right,” he sighs, staring at the boomerang for another moment before twisting back to the other side, original position assumed when you do the same.

The honeymoon hug

“Shhh,” he comforts, pulling your entire body in even closer when you let out another wretched sob, your voice muffled by his chest after the second cry. His hand strokes from the base of your neck all the way to your lower back, firm yet gentle, fingers loving, and repeats the motion. “It’s okay.”

“I would have studied more had I known that it’d be so hard,” you choke out, every word said with a quivering breath, “but I had to insist that we go on that date.” He feels his chest tighten up a little knowing you regret going out with him but puts the disappointed feeling aside, aware you’re speaking out of frustration.

Your hands fist the cotton of his shirt, damp with tears and probably some saliva as he continues shushing you quietly, mumbling words of consolation into your scalp. Hiccuping, which Jaemin feels guilty for finding cute, you clench harder and curl in on yourself, knees pushing against his own to create distance. To bring you back into his warmth again, he hooks his leg over yours and drags it in, tangling them up and consequently having you pressed hip to hip, snotting into the spot between his collarbones.

“I know it’s hard,” he sniffles with you, heart constricting when you whimper at his words, “you can make up for it or get extra credit. Yeah?”

He knows it probably isn’t the most loving thing someone could hear right now but he needs you to calm down, know that everything is going to be okay. “I just-” you begin, already spiraling into irritation yet again, fists balling up even more that he can feel your knuckles dig into his ribs.

“I know, baby- I know,” he coos, shushing you to stop the fumble of angry words you’re bound to let out. “I’m here for you… It’ll be okay.”

“Okay,” you nod, sniffling loudly and letting out quivering breaths, shoulders jumping in place of stifled cries, “alright.”

“You’ll be alright, my love.”

The leg hug

Plopping down onto your side of the bed, something that rarely ever mattered in your home, you make sure to shimmy away from Jaemin as much as possible, practically dangling off the edge. “Come on,” he whines. You hear him scooting over, the mattress dipping under his traveling weight, “don’t be like this.”

You respond with a light scoff which only makes him wail louder, the sound high pitched and ringing in your ears. “I said I was sorry!” he tries again, this time with a finger poking at your shoulder.

“Ugh,” you groan, flipping around to face the boy who lights up at once.

“That’s better,” he grins, folding his hands beneath his head and staring at you with a delighted expression. You really doubt if this view is actually any better, an angry scowl on your face and eyes glaring so hard at Jaemin that his hair could catch on fire.

“You don’t deserve my face,” you hiss, pulling up the collar of your shirt to curl over your head, only the crown of your head peeking out now, “after what you did.”

He sighs and yanks down the fabric, revealing your still angry expression, “I didn’t mean to!”

“You didn’t mean to flirt with the server?” you groan, swatting away the hand that tries to cup your jaw.

“Absolutely not!” he exclaims, slamming a hand down on the mattress and persisting, slapping once with every syllable he lets out, gradually getting more forceful, “I didn’t know that was flirting! I thought I was just being nice, you know how I am. I won’t do it again, it was my mistake.”

He pouts when you just stare at him, eyes blank and frown unwavering. “Fine,” you relent, “I forgive you.”

Jaemin lets out a happy squeal, grinning from ear to ear and practically jumps your way, ready to envelop you in his arms like always. To his dismay, your arm comes out just as fast and pushes at his chest, protesting, “no.”

“Huh? I thought you forgave me!” he cries out, eyes wide and pleading yet again.

“Just be happy I’m even looking at you,” you grumble. He nods solemnly and reaches for the lamp switch, flicking it off and letting the room turn a pitch black. He wonders how he’s going to fall asleep without you in his arms but smiles a second later, thoughts erased when your foot finds his, ankles curling around one another, and your hand reaches out to his shoulder, slowly dragging down the length of his arm to lace your fingers together.

The half spoon

The bathroom door creaks open and you hear the pattering footsteps of Jaemin making his way into the bedroom, humming a small tune under his breath all the while. Bedroom already open, he saunters in with nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist and damp, mussed hair.

“Babe,” you frown, watching him rack through the closet for something to put on, “what did I tell you about leaving your hair wet? It’s going to get all poofy now.”

Your boyfriend just shrugs and throws on a random shirt, the band tee from a concert you guys visited last summer, as well as a pair of boxers from the drawers to his left. “You like playing with my poofy hair,” he points out, shaking it off once before falling by your side.

Laying on your back, left hand scrolling through Instagram and legs completely outstretched, you have your right arm flop open as invitation for Jaemin to cuddle. He takes it up immediately, moving with muscle memory and molding to fit by your side like second nature.

“Wanna watch anything?” you ask, already clicking onto the YouTube app and searching for the pet rabbit vlogs he likes. Your arm curls around his shoulders as he snuggles and lays his head on your chest, right leg pulled by his own to get sandwiched between his knees.

“The rabbit one- where they give it a bath,” he answers predictably. You scroll through the uploads to look for the specific one he wants, tracing little hearts into his shoulder blades as his foot wiggles impatiently, the excited movement making the loose covers curl up by his feet.

The recognisable lo-fi blares out your speaker and you rush to turn it down, startled. All the while Jaemin brings his hand to your chest, leaning in to watch the video. The bunny is placed into the little plastic tub they’ve just bought, shivering a little due to the water, and your boyfriend coos at it so cutely that you can’t help but bring a hand up to pet at his hair, adoring.

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swiss-cheeze · 4 years

Text

Tick-Tock, Hook’s Afraid of an Ordinary Clock! || Spencer Reid

Requested: YES/NO: gender neutral please! So my request. Y/n has been working at the BAU for a while, and never ever had feelings for Spencer but more for Derek. One night is spent at a hotel and Spencer gets wasted as all hell which the team found unusual. That’s really all! Do with that what you will! Smut is fine too! You can add your own personal touches if you wish. Also would love some fighting between Spencer and y/n

Gender: none, they/them.

Warnings: insults, alcohol, normal CM case talk, verbal fight dialogue taken from Hook (1991), crap music talk.

----

“Eat your heart out, you crinkled, wrinkled fat bag,” you mumbled under your breath as Spencer finished his rambling of some unknown subject. Spencer stiffened at your insult, as did the rest of the team. You had just gotten back from a pretty bad case involving a team of family annihilators and where sitting in the nearest bar; throughout the whole case Spencer had almost made it his mission to speak over you, correct you, flick things at you, ‘forget’ you’re there, bump into you and more. God it was so annoying, and now? Now you've had enough.

“That was very ill-mannered-” Spencer started.

“And you're a slug-eating worm,” you said with a little more force matter-of-factly, cutting off whatever it was Spencer was going to say.

“You can do better than that pretty boy!” Derek said quickly with a grin as he nudged Spencer; you almost pounced on that man for taking Spencer's side rather than yours; Derek had always taken your side.

“You're encouraging this?” Spencer questioned quickly.

“Show me your fastball, dust brain!” you started again, “you paunchy, sag-bottomed puke pot!” Spencer's eyes widened three times the size they normally would be as the rest of your table sat quiet and watched.

“Damn!” Emily said under her breath with a grin as her eyes darted between the two of you; it was like watching tennis.

“You're a very poor role model for your team, you know that right?” Spencer shook his as he took a mouthful of his drink before a sly grin overtook his face, “I bet you don't even have a fourth-grade reading level,” a few of your teammates let out a little blow of air.

“Hemorrhoidal sucknavel” you said quickly.

“Maybe a fifth-grade reading level.” Spencer said even quicker.

“Oil-dripping, beef-fart-sniffing bubble butt” you started to really get into it, leaning over the table a little with a smirk.

“Aye there we go (Y/n)!” Derek said quickly, now he was on your side? You looked to Hotch who was smiling thinking that maybe you had another on your side.

“Someone has a severe caca mouth, you know that?” Spencer cut off your gaze with his words, as if he was bored.

“You’re a fart factory. A slug-slime sack of rat guts and cat vomit, a cheesy scab picked pimple-squeezing finger bandage!” snickering came over the table; but you weren't done yet oh no, “a week-old maggot burger with everything on it and flies on the side!” you grinned; many many words in that one insult. Spencer went to open his mouth but you cut him off, “you’re really just a substitute chemistry teacher” you winked.

“Come on Spence, hit (Y/n) back!” J.J. quickly intervened.

“Mung tongue” Spencer fired.

“Math tutor,”

“Pinhead,”

“Mother lover,” that one was a low blow on your end but you couldn't help yourself.

“Nearsighted gynecologist,” ouch Spence, Hotch snorted at that one.

“In your face, camelcake!” you shot back.

“In your rear, cow derrière!” of course Spencer came back even faster.

“Lying, crying, spying, prying ultra-pig!” Emily snickered at yours.

“Lewd, crude bag of pre-chewed food!” Derek snickered at Spencers.

“Guys maybe settle down…” Hotch said softly, this was starting to get a little out of hand.

“You man! Stupid, stupid man!” That was all you could give back as your mind turned blank, forgetting every word in the dictionary.

“If I'm a maggot burger, why don't you just eat me?” Spencer shot back, “you zebra-headed, slime-coated, pimple-farming, paramecium brain, munching on your own mucus, suffering from Spencer Reid envy!” laughter ensued as your face contorted to confusion.

“What the hell is a ‘paramecium’?” your voice held the question as Spencer pointed to you.

“I'll tell you what a paramecium is! You’re a paramecium!” everyone on your table stared at Spencer as he elaborated; “It's a one-celled critter with no brain that can't think!” and with that, your table cheered for Spencer as you sat sulking.

“Oh come on (Y/n), you should have known you would lose,” Derek said with a grin before following Spencer to the bar.

“He's drinking a lot tonight isn't he?” Emily questioned.

“Who, Derek?” J.J. guessed with a furrowed brow.

“No! Spencer!” Emily quickly concluded.

“He was a little harsh on (Y/n)” Hotch cut in quickly, “I’m just glad Dave and Garcia weren’t here to witness that,” you slammed your drink on the table and sent a glare to the three left at the table.

“I'm going home, i'll see everyone on monday,” you grumbled out before stalking off, your shoes made loud thunking sounds as they hit the wood flooring, your anger getting the best of you as you passed Spencer and Derek.

“Yo (Y/n) you getting a drink too?” Derek was about to order your normal drink until you slapped both Spencer and Derek on the back of the head.

“OW! What the hell-!” Spencer's back was to you but as he turned and saw you his anger melted into elation, “come back for round 2 (Y/n)?” Spencer questioned, the poor boy tried to act cool and lean against the bar but missed entirely and almost fell onto a rather burly looking gentleman. You huffed slightly as you turned to Derek.

“Make sure the substitute chem teacher gets home safe,” and with that you threw open the bar doors and walked your way home, it was only a block and you had gotten a ride with Emily anyway.

When you finally slumped home, chucked off your shoes and threw yourself onto your mattress you couldn't help but make yourself angrier with the new insults suddenly bubbling in your head.

“Who does that piss brain even think he is,” you mumbled into the air, “paramecium my ass…” you continued your grumbling into the atmosphere as you twisted and turned on the mattress before sleep finally engulfed you.

------

The work week started up again and before you knew it yourself and the team where needed in New Orleans because of a new range of sudden murders.

“Lets review please,” Hotch mumbled.

“The bodies cross gender and racial lines” Rossi started.

“The throat is slit with something very sharp but also clean, I get a funny feeling it isnt a kitchen knife though,” you mumbled as you looked at the photos closer trying to get a good angle on a printed piece of paper.

“Butcher?” Derek questioned, you shrugged.

“Could these be blitz attacks?” you heard Spencer scoff at your suggestion.

“If this was a blitz attack there would be remorse and blunt force trauma somewhere on the head,” Spencer said looking directly at you.

“Oh, i'm so sorry Doctor i didn't know my input was unwanted, let me just keep my thoughts to myself,”

“Guys,” J.J. sighed, “Garcia is going through the victims lives that we have already, I can talk to the family and see if there are any enemies?” Hotch nodded.

“Derek, I want you to join J.J. with the families. Rossi, Emily go to the M.E. together and have a look over the bodies and tox screens. (L/n), Reid and I will go to the police station and start on a geographical and victim board,” everyone nodded in agreement to what Hotch said. Except for Spencer. He just stared at you with dangerous eyes. You rolled yours in return before putting your headphones into your phone and playing music to drown out Spencer's overbearingly loud thoughts.

“Okay my lovelies, these first three victims all had the same job at the same court; they’re all a part of a Jury audience” Garcia explained as her fingers tapped on her keyboard through the phone.

“Maybe someone just got out of prison that was wrongly convicted and wanting revenge?” you questioned.

“Maybe, it would have to be something pretty big for them to come back,” Derek said, you nodded in agreement, “baby girl can you see if there are any people that may have been convicted by a jury with our victims in it?”

“Sure can sugar, PG out” the phone clicked off.

“Did you find anything from the M.E.?” Hotch turned to Rossi and Emily as he spoke.

“The pathologist said it was a clean cut without hesitation marks or remorse,” Rossi said.

“No drugs, no blunt force trauma,” Emily shrugged as she talked, “it wasn't a blitz.”

“Maybe planned?” you butted in.

“That’s what it seems like,” Hotch said, “Reid? Have you got anything? J.J.?” Hotch questioned as he looked to the respective people.

“The victims were killed in different areas but its places they frequented; house, bar, bar” Spencer started, “they’re all over the place is all, completely different areas,”

“Yeah, and the families weren’t much help either. One of the victims' families, uh, Emil Gosten? His family said they didn't want anything to do with the investigation because he's had previous death threats and calls and stuff,” J.J. shrugged as the room went quiet.

“Reid, (L/n) I know you two dont like each other but I need two of my sharpest minds to go back to the crime scenes,” Hotch sighed, you groaned but complied as you stalked off with Reid following shortly behind.

“Everything looks the exact same as it was left,” you sighed out as you placed a blanket back down on the couch. Spencer scanned the books on the shelf before pulling one out and starting to read it; completely ignoring you.

“Reid,” nothing.

“Reid.” again, nothing.

“Spencer,” nope.

“SPENCE”

“What!” he finally turned to you and answered.

“You couldn't give me some complacency and at least answer me when i talk to you?” you asked annoyed.

“Why would i?” Spencer asked with a bored tone as he placed the book back on the shelf, except he finally talked to you, “The victim is atheist, believes in the justice system…” he sighed and shrugged, “did Hotch just put us together to fuck with us?”

“Maybe,” you flopped onto the couch with a sigh as you rest your head on the backrest. That was until something caught your eye, “Oi genius!” you called out, Spencer came to your side as you pointed to the roof; there, above your heads was a piece of paper taped to the ceiling, “you’re taller than me,” you said quickly as you got up and started moving the couch.

“Woah what- what’re you doing?” Spencer jumped back slightly as you pushed the couch backwards.

“Well we’re going to push this back and then put a chair down for you to stand on so you can reach that note because it can possibly help us get to the unsub,”

“What why me?” Spencer questioned as he helped you push the couch back.

“You’re taller than me and have longer arms,” you walked over to the dining table and came back with a chair, Spencer was reluctant at first but eventually stood on the chair and plucked down the taped note; letting out a breath as he finally stood on the ground again. You plucked the note from Spencer's hand and opened it.

“A music note?” Spencer mumbled.

“Something like that,” you mumbled back, “see it's in the second to bottom gap,” you pointed to the gap to show where it was, as if Spencer couldn't see it already, “um, it would sound something like...um, dmm” you vibrate your voice a little to help Spencer understand, he nodded, “the only problem is there isn’t any clef; normally with music you have a treble clef, alto clef or bass clef. They basically determine what instrument can be played and how the notes are determined” Spencer looked genuinely interested while you explained your thinking, “this...its a singular note, maybe there’s more around?” you looked around the room and tried to desifre if there were any opened drawers or cupboards.

“Maybe there’s another one at the other location?” Spencer questioned, you grinned.

“It might be the unsubs calling card; ‘hey, this is my kill’ type thing!” and with that, you made a break in the case.

Spencer called the rest of the team about the break as Hotch allowed the two of you to go to the other victims houses and search for more music notes; low and behold you now had 3 music notes placed under the corresponding victim heads.

“You keep staring at that board as if it's going to give you answers,” Derek said with a grin as he walked into the room; the rest of the team had been called out to another dead body.

“Hmm? Oh I just…” you shrugged, “i just get this feeling about the notes; they have to sound something but we just don't know what yet” before Derek could answer you the shrill of the phone went off.

“(Y/n)?” it was Spencer on loudspeaker; he never called you by your first name.

“Yeah what's up Reid?” you called back.

“We found another note; the round part is under the last line with the stem going up to the second line at the top,” you nodded in response (not that Spencer could see you) as you drew the note on a piece of paper with a sharpener and placed it on the victim board.

“Anything else? A clef at all anywhere?” you asked.

“Um i'm not- i don't think so?” it sounded like Spencer was shuffling around a few things to get a better look, “we have another piece of paper!” Spencer called out, moments later you got a photo on your phone. Sure enough there was a treble clef.

“Spence get everyone back here; i know what the notes mean”

“Our unsub is using something called the Dies Irae,” you played the first few notes on your phone over youtube, “you've all heard this song over time just not exactly in an orchestra setting; Star Wars, The Nightmare Before Christmas, The Corpse Bride, Sweeney Todd, The Shining, The Exorcist and many many more,” you played a few other videos of the notes from a few of the movies as everyone nodded.

“I can hear it,” J.J. mumbled.

“Same,” that was Emily.

“Right, so...it was originally used with catholic’s; they used the music in their Requiem services-”

“Requiem services are basically putting the dead to rest,” Spencer cut in quickly so the team could understand.

“Yeah, it's basically a song for the dead to stay dead in a way? I think our unsub is using the Sweeney Todd method; killing his victims with a razor. One slice across the neck while in a private area except this dude isn't a cannibal” you grinned at the remembrance of the film.

“Cannibal?” Derek and Emily questioned.

“In the movie Sweeney Todd is a barber, he comes back for revenge on the man who stole his wife and child and kills people in his barber shop which is also above a pie shop owned by a woman named Mrs Lovett; when Sweeney starts killing they come together in order to bring customers back to Mrs Lovett's pie shop. Because it's set in 1785 meat was expensive so instead they used the dead people as meat to sell to customers” you realised how long winded that explanation was and apologized, “sorry that was..i think our unsub is a barber” was your final statement. Hotch nodded and moved to press a button on the phone in the middle of the table, but the phone started ringing instead.

“Garcia?”

“I think i found our unsub; Chris Gevette, he filed for divorce after he gave evidence of spousal abuse but it seems like his wife had every piece of evidence that would be able to put him in jail rather than her so everything was blamed on him for the abuse and the jury ruled him unable to keep any stable relationship”

“Garcia do you have a work and home address?”

“Sent to your phones now; barber shop and home” the phone clicked off.

“(Y/n) i want you to go to the barber shop with Reid and Derek. Emily, J.J. and I will go to the house; Rossi stays here in case anything else happens.” and with that you all ran to the SUV’s.

-----

“CHRIS GEVETTE FBI!” Derek shouted through the door, your guns were drawn and ready for action as Derek kicked the door in. You moved swiftly through the shop, finding nothing but dust.

“Guys!” you were now out the back as your partners came running, “it's exactly like Sweeney Todd,” you motioned to the stairs in front of you before looking behind you, “there's stars that lead down as well; there may be bodies in there like the movie too, you go down there and i'll go up.”

“(Y/n) let me come with you,” that was Spencer, he looked genuinely concerned.

“I've got this Spence. Go” you started your ascent up the wooden stairs while trying to stay as quiet as you possibly could, “CHRIS GEVETTE,” you called out to the door once you got to it, you could hear the bustle of footsteps and made the split decision. The door was kicked in by you as you pointed your gun to Chris who was now holding a razor to a woman's neck.

“Get away!” Chris screamed, he was frantic; trembling and crying.

“Chris! Chris it's okay, i'm a good guy, okay?” you slowly let go of your gun, “im holstering my gun, okay?” you said as you're-holstered your gun, “Chris i know about the divorce-”

“No you dont!” Chris called, the woman under the razor trembled as the razor cut into her neck slightly.

“I do! Chris, I know you were abused! I know it wasn't you that did the abusing! If you let her go we can help you get custody and instead send that bitch to jail,” Chris looked almost relieved to hear that, he contemplated that for a moment before slowly letting the woman go. She ran over to you as Derek and Spencer finally came up the stairs and started handcuffing Chris.

“We’ve got two other bodies in the basement,” Spencer said to you while you held the trembling woman, “there's medic on the way now,” you nodded in affirmation before starting to help the women calm down and walk down the stairs.

------

The jet finally landed back at the bureau as the rest of your team started packing their things from their desks.

“Um (Y/n)” a voice called, you smiled as you looked up to see the person you least expected.

“Spence?” you questioned; your eyes darted around and couldn't see any other team member in sight, “everyone left already. Sorry. I've been in my own little world,” you gave a tight smile as you continued packing some extra files into your bag.

“It-it’s just me, but um, I just wanted to congratulate you on your break in the case,” the comment from Spencer's timid and small voice caught you off guard so much that you froze for a moment as you stared at him. It all seemed to go quiet, and slow; the clock on the wall seemed to tick at an atrociously slow pace.

Tick…

“(Y/n)?”

Tock…

“Hmm?”

“I uh, i was-”

“Oh, yeah um-”

Pause.

Quiet.

“Thank you,” smile.

Tick…

“I was...was wondering, (Y/n)...”

Tock…

“Yeah Spence?”

“Would you...would you like to go...on a date...with...me?”

Pause.

Quiet.

“With you?”

“Well, I did...I did say ‘me’ I hope- just, just forget it” and the world went back to normal as Spence started walking away.

“No Spence, wait!” you grabbed your things and quickly darted off after him; plunging your arm between the elevator doors and stepping in quickly before they shut behind you.

“Just forget it (Y/n); forget i ever asked and we can just go back to-”

“I would love to go on a date with you”

Tick…

“Really?”

“So long as you don't call me a paramecium again”

Tock…

“I won't; as long as you don't call me a substitute chemistry teacher”

Pause.

Quiet.

“I won't”

“Then it's settled.

Tick…

“Message me?”

“Of course”

Tock…

Smile.

#criminal minds #spencer reid #Derek morgan #penelopie garcia #Penelope Garcia #garcia #Emily prentiss #Aaron hotchner #David rossi #J.J.#Spencer reid x reader #Reid x reader #Spencer reid x gn!reader #Spencer reid x gender neutral reader #x reader

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qwertyfingers · 3 years

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we know that bobby only watched ds9 and dean watched the tos movies for sure which implies he's seen tos as well (plus he calls jack spock). so what do you think everyone's favorite trek is? sam is without a doubt a tng fan first and foremost. i think out of all tos movies cas prefers the wrath of khan because he Feels Things when kirk and spock do the ta'al through the glass. charlie has definitely seen some trek (we've seen her llap), do you think she's into tos first and foremost? anyway let's talk about star trek nights in the bunker.

OKAY SO I HAVE. MANY MANY THOUGHTS ABOUT THIS. SORRY THIS IS SO LONG.

like. like of COURSE bobby only likes ds9 of course he does i could have told you this without the show becuase like. bobby is That Bitch. i think rufus will have watched TOS at least because leonard nimoy worked hard on linking jewish faith and practices into the vulcan lore and i think that would mean something to him. bobby will catch rufus smiling at him sometimes while they’re watching ds9 and ask him what all gruffly and rufus will smirk at him and say something about sisko with jake and bobby with dean and bobby will just cough and take a swig of whiskey and rufus will raise his eyebrows but let it slide. rufus definitely makes a comment once about dean&cas being like jake&nog that totally flies over dean’s head but bobby is all knowing eyebrow raise about.

i think cas and jack would really like discovery. while it has some issues with inconsistency, pacing, being a little dark, it also does better than the other TV treks at utilising the nature of film as a medium to instill a sense of wonder, at space and the world, and that’s something they’d really appreciate. i have my own issues with disco, but an obol for charon is as close to the central core of trek that disco ever gets. cas and jack also like that one in particular because they like listening to all the different languages being spoken. they all love michael (everyone loves michael). cas’ faves are stamets and reno because they’re mean and gay, jack’s fave is tilly because she’s excitable and bright and he latches onto that. dean likes reno because she’s got spunk. sam’s fave is airiam and he will never forgive them for killing her off. sam, cas and dean all feel an uncomfortable kinship with both ash and culber - they’ve both been the one with monster teeming under the surface, controleld by something not themself, but they’ve also all spent that time in hell/purgatory, separated from everyone they love.

thinking about episodes that would really get to them all, darmok is. THE ONE. i have a whole unfinished essay about darmok as the platonic ideal of star trek; the perfect distillation of everything trek is SUPPOSED to be about. it doens’t always get there but by god it tries! that speech michael gives in the disco s2 finale - “There's a whole galaxy of people out there who will reach for you. You have to let them. Find that person who seems farthest from you and reach for them.” - that’s what darmok is about!!! it’s all about a situation where real communication seems impossible, where everything we know about talking and learning has broken down. and picard says, okay, i will find another way. i can’t relate to you, you can’t relate to me, but by god i’m going to try. we all meet people we have trouble communicating with in our lives, and often, those people will not care about changing their own ways to accommodate us. for people with autism, adhd, psychosis, the list goes on, this is a very common occurrence. it’s exhausting and frustrating and alienating. darmok is all about crossing that barrier. about reaching for someone through a world of difficulty and learning how to talk. learning how to share something with someone who seems out of our reach. it’s beautiful, it’s heartwrenching, it means more to me than i can easily put into words!

anyway i think the bunker fam would experience a lot of emotions watching it together. there’s defintiely a lot of hugging eachother, sam cries a lot and won’t look at anyone until after the episode ends. jack just asks a lot of questions and talks about his progress learning sign language with cas. dean snakes his hand into cas’ halfway through and doesn’t let go. doesn’t show the emotion on his face, but he clutches harder at the emotional beats. cas runs his fingers through jack’s hair and thinks a lot, and decides not to say anything unless dean talks first. its just a Lot for everyone.

dean def makes them marathon all the TOS and TNG movies. it’s an experience everyone needs at least once. i think you’re right about cas and TWOK with the ta’al through the glass, but also ‘this simple feeling’ and the hand hold would make him feel crazy. bones being the one that spock entrusts with his katra DEF makes dean feel some type of way because as much as destiel is kirkspock-coded, dean IS bones, and seeing spock trust bones so completely despite how at odds they were when they first knew eachother would dig deep into dean’s psyche and make him more than a little bit nutso. the movies are way too long for jack so he mostly sits and plays animal crossing while they watch and looks at the screen when everyone else gasps or when something exciting is happening that holds his attention for a while. sam’s fave is nemesis precisely because it’s terrible and he loves how camp it is.

dean has definitely seen all of trek. i refuse to believe someone who watches as much tv and films as dean wouldn’t sit and watch the whole shebang. i think he’s probably seen TOS and the TOS movies more than the others because its easier than sitting through 7 seasons, but i think rather than that being his favourite he’d just have really strong opinions about the best episodes of each one? like if you asked him what his favourite is he’d say you can’t answer that because they’re all so different from eachother

VOY - bride of chaotica, non seqitur, macrocosm for the favourite episodes. seven, janeway and tuvok would be his favourite characters. he think toms a bit of a knob but also feels a kinship with him for the similar brand of bab dad-ism but he wouldn’t be able to put that into words. he’s also a fierce defender of threshold being a good episode (he’s right for that)

DS9 - our man bashir it’s our man bashir. he doesn’t dislike ds9 but its very plot heavy and he didn’t care for it when he was younger. rewatching it after living through multiple supernatural wars he’d probably appreciate it more. i know for a fact he cries every time there’s an episode about sisko being a good dad. jadzia and garak are his faves

TNG - he LOVES q. he also absolutely will not be caught dead referencing how much loves q after cas comes into his life because sam will do the little brotherly knowing eyebrow raise at him and he will die of embarrassment. he regularly references ‘there are four lights’ because he’s a fucking nerd. he has made cas watch elementary my dear data and fistful of datas a half dozen times each at LEAST. cas KNEW how dean was going to be about the cowboy hat he’s defintiely got into full cowboy getup at home just for watching movies and in cas’ head star trek is fully to blame.

TOS - oh there are so many good TOS eps to choose from. obv he loves most of the series becuase TOS has MANY banger eps, his favourites are probably like. mirror mirror, amok time (baby dean defintiely had some kind of crisis watching it for the first time; i know the rituals are intricate). i know deep in my bones that dean watched the conscience of the king (introduction of the tarsus iv massacre) once and then spent his entire teenage years writing fic about that in his head, whether he posted it or not. dean related too much to those experiences of shared hunger. city on the edge of forever is one of everyone’s faves for a reason (and i’m STILL mad we never got a closer take on that episode in spn it could have been so fun).

ENT - he definitely thinks enterprise is stupid and he’s not wrong but he has also definitely watched it and been very repressed about the whole thing. mans was like oh i feel a kinship with malcolm reed the obviously repressed queer man. i will never examine this feeling ever again thank you <3 he also makes fun of archer for being obsessed with, of all sports, water polo. shran is his favourite character because he’s a little shit and makes him laugh, and t’pol, because t’pol is a badass and he’d appreciate that. i can’t remember the title of a single episode off the top of my head though lol.

i can see what you’re saying about sam being a TNG stan. i’m conflicted though, I feel like TNG’s generally the favourite of 1) obnoxious nerds who think knowing trivia facts makes them smart, 2) men desperately trying to seem masculine and 3) people who’ve watched it three times and have extremely complex thoughts on the personhood and rights of robots. i could see sam fitting into the third group, but people who are in it for the robot feelings are a coin flip between voyager and tng being the fave, and i just have a feeling that voyager would be his favourite. i know kid sam is getting gender envy watching voyager in shitty motels while dad and dean are out, trying to find the words for it. his first semester at stanford he talks a friend into giving him the janeway haircut and rides that high for months. sam’s favourite characters are seven and EMH.

sam and dean have definitely had dozens of long drawn out debates about philosophical topics in star trek. do the holograms deserve rights and if so which ones. are the romulans and vulcans still meaningfully the same people. was spock right for trying to foment reunification by going undercover on romulus. can the borg be redeemed. etc etc.

i haven’t seen any of picard at all so i can’t comment. i also think sam and dean probably read a lot of the trek books? they’re pretty common to find in secondhand bookstores and cheap, would have been even cheaper back in the day. sam probably doesn’t care for them much, dean has a few solid faves though. i’ve only read the disco books so i can’t comment anything specifically (besides the fact that i think dean read dead endless and cried like a baby), but some of the TOS and DS9 books are gay as hell and i know dean was eyes emoji-ing that shit.

#spn #spn fic #tfw 2.0 #treknatural

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