#HA HA HA. THIS ISN'T FUNNY WHERE DID HE GO

[emolionsrawr]

*at a grant nash BBQ*

buck: *staring off into space*

eddie: he's about to say something really funny or absolutely horrifying

tommy: what?

hen: just wait

buck: did you know these two orcas trained other orcas to kill sharks by taking out their liver and testicles?

eddie: yep horrifying

tommy: wait, really?

buck: yup, off the coast of africa there's these two orcas called port and starboard and they hunt sharks to eat their liver and testicles, they tag team them, one goes for their fins while the other takes out the liver, so far they've taken down five great whites, they even killed khaleesi, who was being tracked and traced for research purposes

tommy: oh my god really?

hen: *looks at tommy and smiles*

eddie: *whispers to hen* he's perfect for him

hen: *whispers back* i know!

buck: yeah! port and starboard have even started teaching other orcas to do the same! so far port and starboards record of how many sharks killed in a day is seventeen!

tommy: oh my god, that's insane baby, what else have port and starboard done?

buck: well they also hunt copper sharks and some fish, they even chased the great whites away from africa for seven weeks! but this isn't even the first time orcas have done something like this, in the early 1900's there was this orca called old tom who would help whalers hunt baleen whales, he even tugged the boats into the right position to get the whales, this happened in the port of eden new south whales in australia, you can actually go and see old tom's skeleton in eden killer whale meuseum, and on his teeth you can see marks from where he would pull the roaps! and old tom even has missing teeth because the whalers had this thing called "law of tounge" where they would strap the dead whales down so old tom and his pod could eat the lips and tongues, on the night where he lost his teeth logan, one of the davidson whaler friends tried to bring the whale in instead of pinning it down for old tom to eat, and old tom was pissed and tried to stop him, and he lost teeth, old tom died from starvation, when old tom died they thought he was 35, but the davidson family swore old tom helped three generations of their family with whaling, old tom was actually in his 90's when he died, they called old toms pod the killers of eden which-

tommy: would make an amazing true crime shark podcast name

buck:

eddie:

tommy:

hen:

buck: *tears up* you get me

#911 abc #911 evan buckley #911 buck #911 show #911 incorrect quotes #911 spoilers #911 tommy kinard #tommy kinard #bi buck is real #911 tommy #911 henretta wilson #911 hen wilson #911 hen #911 eddie diaz #911 eddie #911 family #911 family barbecue #evan buckley has ADHD #i'm sorry this one's long #i had no one to get my whale facts out to #so i used buck to get them out to you #have fun #this is all 100% true btw #orcas are psychos #they just do what they want #fuck science said the orca

[wandussyfantasy]

You Suck, Let's Fuck

Request from anon: g!p reader x Wanda pairing. background: reader and pietro are best friends and have been since childhood. reader and wanda never got along but secretly have crushes on each other. wanda is jealous because reader is a player and has hooked up with all of wanda’s friends, and reader just uses those girls to distract from not being able to have wanda because they don’t want to ruin their friendship with pietro. it all comes to a head when reader saves wanda from a handsy at a house party and the tension between them is too much and they confess their feelings and have sex.

Summary: Y/n is frustrated when Wanda's friends from a pact to not sleep with her anymore.

Pairings: Wanda x NB!AMAB!Reader

Word Count: 4,596

WARNINGS: 18+ ONLY, MINORS DO NOT READ & DO NOT INTERACT!!! smut, gn!reader amab, powerbottom!wanda, fingering, dirty talk, fluff, masturbation, sex toys, public touching, fantasies, and teasing.

𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐄 𝐍𝐒𝐅𝐖 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓. 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐂𝐄𝐄𝐃 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐂𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍.

“Pietro! Y/n! You're both dead!” Wanda screeches from the top of the stairs of the basement. You and Pietro look at each other and laugh. You hand him the joint that the two of you are passing back and forth. Wanda stomps her way down the stairs and neither of you move from your seats. You're on a bean bag chair and Pietro is sitting on an expensive gaming chair. The pair of you are playing a zombie game together. “You idiots think you're so fuckin funny don't you?” She points to her face with sharpie dicks drawn around it. “This isn't funny, I have to go to work unlike you bums!”

“Hey, we work,” you say defensively. Then a mischievous smirk pulls on your lips. “As a matter of fact, we're working right now,” you point to the camera that is pointed at you and Pietro, “say hi to our audience!”

Wanda’s eyes nearly pop out of her head as she sees herself on the computer screen monitoring the live stream. “Ugh! I hate you!” She runs up the stairs feeling completely humiliated. You and Pietro break out laughing. You can't help but check out her ass as she storms off.

“Woah! Hey! What are you doing?” Pietro shouts because your character in the game is being attacked by a hoard of zombies.

“Shit!” You say as you quickly get back into the game. There are crude comments on the stream being left about Wanda and some comments of how they caught you checking her out. You don't notice them as you continue playing the game with Pietro.

••••

“Wanda! Hurry up! We don't have all night!” You shout down the hall. The house you lived in with the twins had four bedrooms and two bathrooms on the main level. It was a small off campus house. There used to be a fourth roommate. She's still Wanda’s best friend but she moved out. You couldn't remember why. Wanda runs out of the bathroom in a little black dress with her hair and makeup done. She usually didn't do this much when going out and her look made you do a double take. This was not the Wanda you grew up with. And you couldn't tell if you liked it or not.

“Alright, let's go,” she says as she walks past you.

“Woah, you're going out like that? Where are you going to put your wallet or your phone? You can't leave like that,” you say as you catch up to her.

Wanda shrugs with a sultry smile, “Do you have a problem with the way I look?”

“As a matter of fact, I do,” you state. “I think you're setting women back a hundred years and quite frankly, I find it offensive.”

Wanda makes a “really” face and scoffs. “Ah so you're a feminist today?” She shakes her head as she opens the front door. “You're such a hey mama sometimes.”

You roll your eyes, you hate being called that. “Why did anyone ever think there needed to be a lesbian version of fuckboi?” You groan as you follow her out the door.

“Will you ladies hurry! I'm not trying to get my rating down because you two take ages to get ready!” Pietro grouches from the backseat of the Uber. He hands the driver a hundred dollar bill to avoid a rating lower than five stars. You lock the front door before you climb into the car with the twins. “You're going out like that?” Pietro asks his sister. “You never go out like that.”

“That's what I'm saying!” You throw your hands up.

“Good for you sis,” Pietro holds his fist of for Wanda to bump. She does so with a laugh. “I hope you feel comfortable and confident because you look great.”

You make noises to express your shock with your mouth open. Wanda smiles at you and puts her fingers under your chin. “Close your mouth, don't want to catch any bugs.”

You clamp your mouth shut and narrow your eyes at her. “I'm not paying for your drinks.”

Wanda shrugs and slips her hand away from you. “I never asked you to.”

“Will you two stop bickering? We're supposed to have fun tonight. So let's just have fun,” Pietro says.

“P, we have been friends since we were five years old. Wanda and I have been enemies for the same length of time. You're still not used to this? It's the dynamic,” you defend yourself. Wanda agrees with you. “See?”

Pietro shakes his head. “It's gotten old. I thought that living together the two of you would at least try to get along.” He crosses his arms over his chest as he grows upset. “But no, all you two ever want to do is fight. It's exhausting living with you.”

“Ooh, I think he's really mad,” Wanda mutters as she looks between you and her brother. Neither of you take him serious and the both of you bust out laughing

Pietro glares at the both of you. “Excuse me, Happy? Do you mind pulling over just up ahead?” The Uber driver pulls over and stalls the car. “Both of you, out,” Pietro says with a fed up tone. You look at him like he's crazy but he doesn't let it go. You and Wanda start to apologize but in doing so, you two start arguing over whose fault it is. So you both exit the car and he takes the Uber the rest of the way to the party.

“Unbelievable,” you mumble as you shake your head. “You couldn't have just not been so irritating for once?” You gesture, frustrated with her and with the situation.

“Me?” Wanda is offended by the accusation and lack of accountability. “You're the one who wouldn't shut up about my outfit. Which by the way, I don't understand why it bothers you so damn much. It's not any different from what the girls who catch your eye wear!”

“Is that what you're trying to do, Wanda?” You ask, annoyed with the implication that you are as simple minded as any guy. If only she knew how you really felt about her. But you couldn't do that to your best friend. You wouldn't.

“Gross, don't think so highly of yourself,” her face is convincingly disgusted but deep down the answer is yes. “I'm just tired of being overlooked! I'm hot dammit and tonight, I'm finally going to get laid!” Wanda starts walking in the direction of the fraternity where the party was being hosted.

You jog to catch up with her, “Wanda, you can't be serious. You’re not that type of girl.”

“What makes you so sure that I'm not? I can be any type of girl I want to be,” she fires back stubbornly. “Tonight, I'm going to be like you.”

“Fine, whatever,” you say, annoyed that she'd use your actions against you. “Just be careful. There are a lot of guys who won't think twice about taking advantage of you.”

“Oh, is that what you do to the girls that dress like this?” She retorts.

You shake your head, hurt by the accusation. “That’s low, even for you. Look, all I was trying to do was prepare you. But you don't want my help. Fine.” You walk a bit faster than her to create a distance between the two of you. Wanda feels stupid for the comment but she doesn't apologize. She just keeps the distance between the two of you as you guys walk to the party.

••••

You are talking with Natasha, Wanda’s best friend, with a flirtatious smirk. She looked like she was on a mission to get someone's attention and though you doubt it was yours, she had it. “Hey, why did you move out? We could have had so much fun together,” you say as you play with her hair.

Natasha rolls her eyes, “We had our fun and then you proceeded to treat me like I never existed to you. Yeah, no thank you.”

You pout, “Oh come on, are you still upset about that? I'm not the commiting type. You know that.” You put your hand on the wall above her head, somewhat trapping her between you and the wall. Your bicep flexes and you catch her ogling you. That gives you the upper hand and you smirk. “If I remember correctly, that's all you wanted because you were trying to get over that Maria chick.” You lean in close and whisper, “I believe I cleared your mind of her for hours that night.”

Natasha shivers at the memory and almost kisses you. But she clears her throat and steps away from you. “No one likes being treated like they're invisible. No matter what the circumstances are,” she says before she walks away.

You frown and shake your head. You look around the room and find Wanda chatting with her friend Carol. You smirk as you recall being able to convince her to join you for a sleepover more than once. You walk over to them with intentions to get Carol to walk away with you. “Hey,” you start as you approach.

“Nope,” Carol walks away from you and Wanda and you frown.

“Damn, two strikes in less than ten minutes. What's wrong with my game?” You ask yourself out loud then you take a sip from your cup.

“They made a pact against you,” Wanda says over the loud music. You make a face, thrown off by the news. “You can't keep sleeping with my friends. They're done with you and your hey mama ways.”

You groan at the term. “Will you stop calling me that?”

“Sure,” Wanda says simply. “Just stop being one,” she walks away before you can start an argument. You start to look around the party to find someone you haven't slept with that you think you have a shot with. But it was slim pickings. You sighed as you feared that it would just be you and your fleshlight tonight.

••••

As you make your way through the house, you hear some commotion. Instead of ignoring it, you search for the source. “Stop,” Wanda says as a guy pulls her onto his lap. She swats at his hands as he tries to slip them up her dress.

“Come on baby,” the guy says, “you know you want this.” He doesn't let up and puts his hands on her breasts.

You burst through the room and pull Wanda off of him. “Get away from her!”

“Woah chill,” the guy holds his hands up. “We were just having some fun.”

You raise your fist In disgust and Wanda catches you. “Y/n! Cut it out!” You turn around, astonished that even when you defend her she's annoyed with you. “He wasn't doing anything I didn't want,” she says.

You scowl, “Don't defend him! I heard you tell him to stop!”

“He was tickling me, you know how much I hate that,” she raises her voice to match your level.

“I'm just going to go,” the guy says awkwardly.

“You stay,” she points to the guy. “You go,” she points at you.

“No, I'm not leaving you with this guy,” you state stubbornly.

“Get out!” She says as she tries to push you away. “Why do you have to ruin everything for me?”

You don't know what comes over you when you pull her in and plant your lips against yours. She breaks away from your kiss and smacks you across the face. You both stare at each other in shock then she grabs you by the collar of your shirt and pulls you in for another kiss. This one is a lot more aggressive than the previous.

“Now is the time for me to go,” the guy says as he slips out of the room, shutting the door behind him. You and Wanda are too lost in each other to care.

She starts to unbutton your shirt and you're surprised that she is being so assertive. You walk backwards until you fall onto the couch with your lips still attached to hers. She straddles your hips while kissing you. Her teeth clamp down on your bottom lip and you groan in pleasure. You put your hands on her ass and boldly give her right cheek a light smack. She yelps, “No, don't do that.”

“Okay,” you say just before kissing her again. For years you've refrained from doing this. Every time you had the urge, you redirected your attention to one of her friends. Each of them had a few traits that reminded you of Wanda. It felt like since you couldn't have the real her, you could settle for pieces that reminded you of her. Now that you have her, you don't think you could ever go back to before this.

“Do you have a condom on you?” Wanda asks as she rolls her hips on your bulging member.

“Yeah,” you say as if the answer was obvious. You pull out your wallet from your pocket and fish out the prophylactic. Wanda dips her hand between her legs and you thought she was adjusting her underwear but instead she was unzipping your fly. You jump a little when she slips her hand through your boxers and pulls your cock through the hole. You moan as you finally feel her stroke you after years of fantasizing about the day her hand would touch your cock for the first time. You almost cum right then and there.

“Let me see that,” Wanda says as she takes the package from your hand. She tears it open and delicately pulls the condom onto your hard cock.

You slip your fingers up before dress and lick your lips in anticipation to find out what kind of underwear she has on. But as you do, you graze her in a way that makes her squirm. “Stop, I said I don't like tickling,” she scolds.

“I wasn't trying to tickle you. I was trying to pull your panties down,” you state.

Wanda smirks and leans in close to whisper in your ear, “I haven't worn any all night.” Your hips jerk up in response and it makes her giggle. You pull her into another passionate kiss. Hoping to convey everything you feel towards her in the kiss without having to talk about it.

As she kisses you back, she hovers her pussy over your cock and passes the tip of your penis through her folds as she blindly aligns you with her entrance. The feeling of her warm pussy lips against your sensitive tip has your hips rolling instinctively. And you enter her. “Oh fuck! Geez you're so impatient,” Wanda snaps at you.

You chuckle as you start nibbling on her ear lobe. “I can take it slow but,” you push your cock further into her and grunt from the pleasure. “We don't have too long here. You want slow,” you lift her up by her ass to give you room to thrust into her. “Sneak into my room one of these nights. I'll show you a good time for a long time.”

Wanda moans as you thrust your thick dick into her. “Mmm, should I take that as an invitation? Or are you just,” her mouth opens in a gasp as you start to rub her cliterous. Your lips move about the sweaty skin of her exposed chest. Her taste has you feeling more intoxicated than any drop of alcohol ever has.

“It's an invitation,” you whisper against her neck. “You just have to keep quiet.”

“Oh sure you tell me to be quiet but when it comes to every other girl,” Wanda gripes, recalling past arguments of asking you to keep things quiet at night whenever you had a girl in your room. Especially when it was one of her close friends.

“They're not, mph, my best friend's sister,” you moan as Wanda's walls squeeze your dick. “Unless you want Pietro to hear,” Wanda covers your mouth with her hand making you laugh. She joins you in laughing and you stop moving, she sits on your lap with your dick inside of her while the two of you laugh. Wanda removes her hand from your mouth and gazes into your eyes for a moment. She knows that slow isn't the pace you go. She knows that this could be the only time she has your attention. She is grateful for this moment because she can believe that you love her. She can tell herself that this is more than what it is, even though she won't believe it tomorrow.

You get lost in her eyes and in the heat of the moment. You almost confess everything you've been dying to tell her for years. You can feel it on the tip of your tongue as you gaze into her hazel eyes. You don't say anything and hope that your actions speak for themselves. You pull out of her and sit her next to you on the couch. You don't have much time because you don't know what Pietro is up to and the chances of him walking into this room are too high. You do want to have a chance to take your time with her. You have to give her a reason to come to your room.

“What are you doing?” Wanda asks as she watches you pull the condom off and put your erection back into your pants. “Did I do something wrong?”

You shake your head. “Since when have you cared if you’ve done something wrong?” You ask as you get on your knees in front of her. Her curious eyes follow your hands as they force her dress up, causing the tight fabric tear in order to get it over her ass. You pull her closer to you by her thighs. “You didn't do anything wrong, but I need to get you finished off so we can get out of here before we're missed.” You explain as you trail kisses along her thighs.

“Oh,” she gasps out, “Wha-wha-what about yyou?” She stutters as you begin to lick her sensitive pussy.

You smirk and lean back slightly to look up at her, “You've never worried about me before. Don't start now,” you wink at her before you return your focus to devouring her. She tangles her fingers in your hair to keep you close as your tongue enters her. You eat her out like she's the last meal you'll have on earth. If she was, you wouldn't mind one bit. Her hips gyrate as she starts to ride your face. She moans as you expertly move your tongue around, humming a song to make your tongue vibrate.

“Oh god, oh god, oh god,” Wanda cries out as you please her in ways she didn't know possible. You're not the first person to go down on her. But you are the first person to make it enjoyable. So much so that when she reaches her climax, her whole body is shaking for a few minutes. Her pussy twitches as you lick up as much of her juices as you can. You pull away from her and smile at her with your face glistening from her arousal. She giggles as she pulls you up and licks her juices from your face. You groan from how much the action has turned you on. Then she kisses your lips.

“Now it's your turn,” she tries to pull you closer with her hand on your crotch without breaking from the kiss too much.

You smile as you pull away completely, “You'll have to thank me later.” You straighten yourself out and help her fix herself up a bit. She laughs at the red lipstick stains that she left behind on your face and chest.

“You might want to sneak into a bathroom,” she suggests with a smile.

“Good idea,” you nod at her. “I guess I'll see you at home then,” you say as you walk out of the room.

••••

You are sleeping when Wanda slips into your room. You don't sleep in pajamas and this is how she finds out. You're naked when she lifts the covers. She quickly drops the blanket. Startled by the sight at first. She shakes her head, embarrassed by her own reaction. You were inside of her a few hours ago and she slipped into the room with the intention of pleasuring your body. But it's different. She hadn't seen your body until now. Other than flashes from the years she's known you.

She takes a deep breath and lifts the blanket again. Her eyes widen at your size and she's surprised you fit inside of her. You weren't even hard yet. You twitch in your sleep and that causes something next to your leg to fall. She catches it before it hits the floor because she doesn't want you to wake up yet. She looks at it and realizes that it's a fake pussy.

She had no idea that you owned a flashlight. Your cum leaks out of it and she feels herself grow aroused by the idea of being pumped full of your cum. She gulps, surprised by herself. She has never wanted to be someone’s cum dump before but the idea of being yours has her growing hot and bothered.

She keeps the toy in her hand and climbs on the bed. She straddles your legs and starts by licking the length of your cock. It starts to come to life while you continue to sleep. She wonders what you could be dreaming about while she wraps her lips around the head of your penis. She licks and sucks on the sensitive area, trying to wake you up at this point. You thrust your hips up, pushing more of your cock into her mouth but you don't open your eyes or show any other sign of consciousness.

She had no idea that you were such a heavy sleeper. Wanda starts to bob her head up and down on your cock, getting you to stiffen up more. She couldn't believe how much this scandalous act was turning her on. She stops sucking on your cock and shoves it inside of the fleshlight.

Wanda uses the toy to jerk you off. “Fuck, Wanda,” you mutter in your sleep. She is flattered that you're dreaming about her. But she doesn't get too caught up in an idea that it might mean anything other than just sexual attraction.

Wanda giggles as she gets an idea. She crawls up to your ear as she continues to use the toy on you. “Mmm, Y/n,” she moans into your ear. Instead, you smile with your eyes closed. “You're so big. You're bigger than anyone I've ever had. Oh yeah, oh yeah,” she pants and squeaks as much as she can in order to get you to wake up. It isn't until she starts kissing your neck that you startle awake.

“Woah!” You shoot up in the bed and look down to see Wanda’s hand wrapped around the chunky base of your fleshlight. “Woah,” you repeat in a calmer tone as you look over at Wanda. She is blushing. You lay back down with your arms behind your head with your head turned to her. Watching her as she continues to pump your dick. “I'm surprised to see you here.”

Wanda shrugs as if it's suddenly not a big deal. “Eh, I owed you one. I figured that the faster I repay you, the better.”

You chuckle softly. “You do realize that I wouldn't have ever asked you to return the favor?”

“No,” Wanda answers shyly. She stops moving her hand. “Are you saying I should stop?”

You put your hand over hers and start moving the toy again as you maintain eye contact. “Now why would I ever say that?” You lean in and kiss her lips. The kiss is aggressive as you hold her hand still and start thrusting into the toy. Fucking it as hard as you want to be fucking her. “I'm surprised you went with the toy,” you say when you break the kiss.

“I wasn't sure where you kept your condoms and,” she looks over at your bedroom door nervously. “And I don't want to risk Pietro finding out just how loud I can get when the sex is good.”

You chuckle, taking her caution as a compliment. “My condoms are in the drawer by the bed. But you were smart not to look for them because, mmph, you were quite a screamer earlier.”

“Shut up,” she says as she starts to move the pocket pussy faster. She wants to make you cum so badly at this point. “Damn, do you always last this long?” She complains as her hand starts to get tired. She moves back to her position of straddling your lap so that she can use both hands.

“You say that as if it's a bad thing,” you snort as you watch her struggle.

“It is when I have work in the morning,” she complains again. “I should have known your dick would be as annoying as you are.”

“Is it my dick or is it because I'm picturing your grandma that one summer that she wore that one bathing suit-”

“Gross! You're thinking about that?” She makes a face and you laugh.

“It's an old trick, otherwise I'd cum before anyone I ever slept with.”

“Well, can you stop thinking about her and just focus on me?”

You smirk as you sit up. You lift Wanda slightly by her ass so that her chest is in your face. “May I?” You ask, pointing at her chest. She nods her head as she watches you.

You pull her oversized sleep shirt over your head. You kiss up her stomach until you reach her breasts. With your eyes closed your body can't tell the difference between the toy and a real pussy. Especially when you have Wanda's real breast in your mouth. With a couple of rigid thrusts you cum inside of the toy and groan against Wanda’s chest.

You give her breasts each a soft kiss before removing your head from under her shirt.

“Happy now?” You ask as you lay breathlessly against your mattress.

“No,” she groans uncomfortably. “Now I'm too turned on.” You shake your head and roll your eyes.

You climb out of your bed and pull the toy off of your softening dick. You go into your closet and pull out the promotional box that Adam & Eve sent you so that you could endorse their brand and their products. You pull out one of the many new vibrators. It's still in its packaging. “Here,” you say as you hand her the box. “Take this and get out. I'm tired and I don't want your brother to hear you.”

“He's here?”

“Yeah, I helped him get into his bed. So just take this and go.”

“Thanks I guess,” Wanda laughs to herself. “Geez I didn't realize your room was a sex shop.”

“The beauty of influencing. You get free shit and all you have to do is look pretty online,” you hop back into your bed.

“Thank you for this, um goodnight,” she kisses you on the lips one more time before crawling out of your bed and leaving your room.

You sigh happily as you go to sleep, excited for what this might open up for your future relationship with Wanda.

#wanda fanfic #wanda smut #wanda x reader #wanda x y/n #wanda x you #smut #thanks anon! #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff x you #wandusssyfantasy answers

[brucewaynehater101]

Oh I was absolutely going with them Jason Finds Out During TT route. I think it would be especially funny if he's heard horror stories from Rouges and his own Henchmen that Robin The Third is some kind of demon that Batman summoned on accident. There are some rumors about how the demon feeds off of grief or anger or vengeance because it's illusions of being g a human are stronger when the Bat is there so *clearly* it is taking its power *from* the Bat. Others say that Nightwing summoned it so that it would keep Bruce on a leash without the first Robin having to come back. Some say it was some person in Gothem who did it or that it was the combined form of the many curses on the city.

All Jason knows is that when his replacement turned around, it's head luled to the side just an inch or two, like a puppet on strings that had to much slack on that one string. Jason manages to shoot one of its arms but instead of a spray of blood, it is broken shards of porcelain and sand. His hits feel like he's punching a solid wall but some do leave visible cracks in Tim. This Thing in a Robin Costume could not ever be human. He knows because when he left, he took a handful of sand in a vile to see if he could figure out what it is. Jason still has that vile to this day, the only proof he has that Tim isn't a human. Sometimes he will set it on a flat surface and watch the sand in it make it slowly roll towards whatever direction Tim is in.

As for how he heals, that's to the magic that animates him, all Tim needs to do is hold his pieces together like a jigsaw puzzle and after a few moments the piece he's holding will weld itself back into place. Also his sand will slowly come back to him, attracted like a magnet and he can tell where all his sand in instinctually. He let's Jason keep the vial of it as it's basically an unhacklable Jason Tracker. The sand isn't fast at moving towards him, roughly about the pace of a snail or sloth. It's certainly moving but just getting from downtown to the Batcave could take his sand a week. Also the pull isn't super strong, gaining about as much force as a particularly stubborn ant.

Ras took half a pound of Tim's sand instead of his spleen and Tim would very much like his sand back.

As for Cass knowing, she 100% does. Tim has shown her his true gorm and when she asked why he didn't show the others, Tim replied, "they wouldn't understand. They would worry over things that aren't problems and try to fix things I already fixed and end up breaking those things."

Eventually the Bats must find out though, and when Dick asks if that means they need to do special things to keep Tim from dying to Magic Users, Tim laughs and laughs like Dick has told the funniest joke in the world. When he calms down, he asks a question of his own, "Dick. How could I possibly die if I have never been alive in the first place? I am simply an object enchanted to move and speak. I am no more alive that the AI Babs uses to scan the internet for pictures of us. I am no more alive than a character in a video game. At most, at *most* I can be compared to some of Ivy's plants that she uses to attack us. I can not be killed for I have never been alive. Broken, yes, but that I can fix. I simply have to be put back together like a jigsaw puzzle."

Oof. Poor Dick is going to have to figure out how to feel about that statement. Tim not being alive at all and comparing himself to a video game or AI might fuck with Dick's sense of self, sentience, etc. I would love to see how they all logic, cope, and understand identity after this.

I do love the idea that the sand tries to make its way back to Tim, but he knows where it is at all times. Jason has an estimated location of Tim (N, S, E, W), but Tim has like coordinates.

I wonder if Cass would try dancing with Tim. Since his movements are different, perhaps she would enjoy learning to dance in a way that's similar to how he moves? It could be eerie and fun for her.

I'm curious how Ra's would feel about Tim and his sand in this. Why did he keep the sand? Does it look distinct from other sand? Was it just cause it was part of Tim and Ra's thought he might be able to use it? Also, does he attempt that shit he did with his Nyssa since Tim probably can't reproduce?

#dc comics #tim drake #dc universe #thank you for the ask!!!! #jason todd #dick grayson #cass wayne

[jarimaa]

Gojo Satoru

I said once in my sukuna vs gojo post, that he doesn't prioritise personal connection, but it's more nuanced than that, so very badly worded from my part.

Gojo very much understood personal connections and relationships.

Gojo however loves being the strongest, he loves his strength, revels in it infact and wouldn't give up on it for anything, even if it caused him loneliness and that's why his dehumanisation comes from HIMSELF too. He is fine being a tool and being lonely if it means he can have his strength. Yes, his mindset is fucked up, that's the point.

That's why I never subscribed to all the "bring back nerfed" theories because chapter 236 made it ever clear.

Sukuna calls him (and kashimo) greedy, because unlike sukuna who thinks "love" is worthless, gojo very much wants both connections AND strength.

It wasn't that people were not reaching out to him, it's just that, he wouldn't stoop to their level, he wanted them to become stronger so that they can become as strong as him, so no one is lonely, so that strength doesn't isolate them like it did with him.

He pushes away people while at the same time craves attachment and understanding, but since he would NEVER give up on his strength, that results into largening the gap/distance even more. He causes his own misery and is ready to live with it.

The recent chapter was pretty much very consistent with his portrayal, he fully committed to his role by becoming the monster he was stopping himself from being all these year, for his students. Even in this chapter yuta very much reached out to him, in a way gojo couldn't to geto during that kfc meet, but it's gojo who again decided that it's his burden to bear alone. His was being reached out, it's HIM who didn't close the gap.

People are not ok with him just being treated like a tool and just being seen for his strength, but my point is, when has he ever had any identity beyond being "The strongest," not to imply he doesn’t have any other identity at all, but everyone always prioritized his identity as the strongest, EVEN he himself.

That's the reason why he loved his youth so much and considered it the best time of his life, because then, he had BOTH, strength and a equal buddy (geto), that's why that friendship lasted such huge impact on him. (Also imma just say here, people both underestimate and overestimate his relationship with geto, it's very funny to watch)

People were complaining about characters seeing him as a tool, but they were quite unironically doing the very same thing. Putting him on pedestal, using him to continue being in series for their own happiness and enjoyment of the series, not respecting his wishes from chapter 236, and treating him the same way characters within the story do with him.

Also, you can dislike the way he was treated, that's precisely the point, but don't go around claiming the gege assassinated his own writing because your dislike ≠ bad writing. People are using morality of their real life within a story where everything is being questioned, the so called "good guys" of the story keep repeating that they are not heros, most of them are murderers themselves.

The curses are showing humanity, everything related to normal human morality is being questioned.

So the "he would be happy powerless" doesn't work because thats what YOUR morality tells you (its fine to feel that way), but he most likely wouldn't be happy with it, he isn't a real person either lol. Dude has nasty aspects to him, it’s one of them, they add more to his character, he is selfish (and selfless too), and let him be like that.

In the very end, Gojo very much managed to raise a bunch of students who will carry his will, he is alive in them.

Peace out ✌️

Pretty much my rant after this chapter because of the discourse going around is creating wayyy too many misinterpretations. Also I don't care what you think of the series as long as you just stop forcing your beliefs on others and saying its bad writing, when it's not. I don't think a character can exist outside of the narrative or story he was created in, gojo is amazing because of jujutsu kaisen story, outside of it, who is he?

#satoru gojo #gojo satoru #itadori yuuji #jjk meta #jujustu kaisen #jjk #jjk manga #gojo #jujutsu kaisen meta #yuta okkotsu #jjk 261 #i was tired of people targeting gege like wtf #drop the series if you hate the writing so much #i want to read it because i love what gege is portraying #its not for everyone i suppose #geto suguru

[marshmallowprotection]

What do you think would be each character’s favorite flavor of cake?

You know what, this is a brilliant question, but I think I'm going to answer it based on vibes rather than trying to break down the semantics of why a character might enjoy a certain flavor over another.

Jaehee

Angel's Food Cake! You thought I was going to say that she would love coffee cake, didn't you? I feel like her favorite kind of dessert is one that is gentle on the tongue. You can't go wrong with fresh fruit and a gentle sponge. I imagine it might take her back to her childhood with her parents and what's better than that? It's nice to have a good memory. I know she makes a lot of different things for her cafe, but for whatever reason, I always think she enjoys the most gentle things.

Zen

Hotteok. Street Pancakes. He just isn't the kind of person who eats a lot of sweets, but I know he loves to visit different vendors because he has a lot of friends who have gotten out of gang life and end up making food for others. I think the closest you can get to him enjoying a suite is something he could pick up from a friend. They can be stuffed with different things, but I think brown sugar and cinnamon might be his go-to! I think they can add nuts too!

Yoosung

Funfetti Cake! I know what you're going to say, I can already hear you, why did I give him the flavor that would make him look like a kid who hasn't tried different things before? Well, I raise you the idea that sometimes people like what they like and it doesn't matter if it seems childish to you, he knows what he likes, and it happens to be sprinkles in his cake batter. You can't go wrong with it at the end of the day.

Jumin

Cheesecake! I just can't see him eating a cake for some reason. That's not to say that he doesn't like them, it's just that when I tried to imagine what he would like to enjoy, I came to the same conclusion. He wants a cheesecake slice and some coffee to go with it. He likes to indulge in the flavor now and again and I think that makes sense for him.

Saeyoung

Red Velvet. Again, I don't know what it is about him, but I feel like he really enjoys cream cheese frosting. The only thing that gets me with this is that in one of the folders that you can purchase from the marketplace, there's a birthday cake with blueberries and strawberries. Which implies to me that he likes blueberries, but there's no other evidence to back that up and there's nothing in the world that says he couldn't put blueberries on any cake so I've decided he's just going to put blueberries on red velvet cake.

Jihyun

Tiramisu! I feel like this makes sense and I don't even need to explain it because the people who get it—will get it and the people who won't—won't. There's just something about him sitting in the back of a cafe with a plate of tiramisu on one side and a scathing 10th grade essay on the other where he's going to argue up and down some sort of pretentious conclusion to an art piece. I'm going to say I support it because he's so goofy, but I can't unsee this.

Saeran

Strawberry Shortcake! The game points this out for me and I don't think I can argue with that. Although, I will say Unknown did have a drawing for his birthday where he had a big Black Forest cake. But, I don't know if that's his favorite, considering that there was a bottle of wine in the picture and I had a bad feeling about who set out a birthday display for him to begin with and why they picked what they picked. In any case, give this man some strawberry shortcake.

Rika

Devil's Food Cake! I didn't pick this because I thought it would be a funny joke. I picked this because she seems like somebody who likes to indulge. She decided she was going to unleash her devil and not let anybody stop her from enjoying herself, no matter what that meant for the people around her who suffered because of it, and tasting a very rich, dense chocolate cake is a representation of that sentiment.

Vanderwood

Carrot Cake! I don't even really have an explanation for this one other than it just feels right. I don't see them as somebody who enjoys a lot of sweets, but if they're going to have something, the most nostalgic thing they could think of would be something from their childhood, and I just think that's carrot cake.

#mod kait #ask #mystic messenger #anon #mysme #saeran choi #mysticmessenger #mm #choi saeran #saeyoung choi #choi saeyoung #yoosung kim #kim yoosung #jaehee kang #kang jaehee #rika kim #kim rika #vanderwood #jumin han #han jumin #jihyun kim #kim jihyun #hyun ryu #ryu hyun

[kimbap-r0ll]

I would like to request PLATONIC! Lilia Vanrouge with an incredibly beautiful daughter (or child if you want to make it gender neutral) who is completely oblivious to what power her beauty has over others and gets an endless amount of suiters, constantly asking Lilia for her hand in marriage

Hi! Omg wait this is such a funny idea. I'll make it gender neutral for this one ^^

Platonic!Lilia and his child!reader who gets a lot of suitors

I think first and foremost as a dad he wants his best for his kiddo. This goes for how he raised Silver and basically the entirety of Diasomnia. You are also subject to training like Silver and Sebek did, which helped you become closer to those two over the years

Lilia would definitely pamper you with travel souvenirs since he went on a lot of trips. If you were younger I feel like it might've been wholesome to dress you up and such but for you, you were able to play with Lilia's hair. Would he go out in armor with a few kiddy hair ties if his presence was needed in a fight? Yes.

But speaking of suitors, I think he would be a little protective of his child. Like on one hand he's like "yeah my child's the coolest :D" but then on the other hand he's like "omg why are there so many people asking for your hand in marriage." Like he himself would probably think you're the best looking person in all of Twisted Wonderland, but he wasn't expecting so many suitors when you came of age to start thinking about marriage

He's definitely strict with who he would let you meet, mostly because of his nature. While he isn't like breathing down the suitors' necks or anything, his smile doesn't really reach his eyes when he's talking to them haha

A lot of times he just turns down the suitors if they approach him at parties or other noble occasions. He's probably pretty good at reading people, but other than face-to-face meetings he also gets a lot of letters from across Twisted Wonderland. He doesn't like writing them all, so sometimes he just tells the suitors that ask why he hasn't replied by saying "oops, sorry I guess it got missing while getting sent here d:"

Might've thought about finding suitable people using something like they did in Brave where the suitors have to go through hurdles, only for his kid to beat them in all of them.

He knows that you have a really good appearance, but he wants to make sure whoever you end up with will appreciate you for who you are, not an idealized version of you. So, he really lets you choose who you want to meet, not meet, etc.

When you do eventually find the person you want to be with, he will be supportive of any decision you make going forward. He cares for your wellbeing both physically and mentally first and foremost!

#twst #twisted wonderland #twst imagines #twst scenarios #ask box #twst lilia headcanons #platonic

[flightfoot]

Ur a pretty fair voice in my opinion when it comes to the whole mess in miraculous. Would you mind telling me what your favorite things are about Marinettes appreciation of Chat Noir in Canon? Not fanon, CANON.

I'm still grieving LadyNoir and recently I'm feelin very down in life in general and now I don't have my comfort show and ship anymore the way I used to love them for.

The way Marinette treats Chat Noir in and outta her transformation never stops hurting my poor broken LadyNoir heart n as much as I wished I could love the potential of her love for him as I once did, it just feels so paper thin and shallow to me now after everythin this show did.

The show is clearly trying to have her feelings for him be smth now, but for me it never seems to go beyond her infamous vague heart eyes the show likes to hav her throw around for damage control & surface level appreciation of his presence when she has to. But if you'd tell me that she still has no real feelings for him, I would believe u, cause he as a person doesn't truly matter at any given moment her words have to MEAN something more than a vague "<3" she's never asked to back up with anything worthwhile (srry, I know you've heard that complaint a million times before. It's at least comforting to know that others feel the same)

Wasn even her taking any interest in Chat for his person in the first quarter of season 5 only caused by Marinette wantin to proof Alya wrong and that her love for him instead of Adrien is real and valid? That's so disheartening...

Going through the tags isnt helping either, cuz most i find it is either much more fanon than Canon, or it's in line with Chat prrty much being her servant now instead of her finally giving care back

Idk, I hope I'm not bein too much of a downer. So imma get back to my question now. Maybe u can help me see Canon in better light again.

Could you tell me what you like most bout Marinettes and Ladybug's connection with Chat Noir? Things she does for him, what she values in him and so on and so forth?

I like the times we see her getting upset when Chat's hurt, or when she comforts him when he's clearly not feeling good. I adored how angry and upset she got in Timebreaker when Chat was "killed" in front of her for the first time, how she suddenly became more vicious. She doesn't want to lose him.

Or like, for times when she's comforted Chat, I adore how calmly and patiently she spoke to Chat in Reverser, after his courage was taken away, how she gently coaxed him where he needed to go. I took great solace in that, the first time I rewatched that episode, since I'd been exposed to a lot of Saltinette at the time, and I needed the reminder that Marinette does, in fact, care about people, even when it's inconvenient.

While I wish that Marinette had really thought through Chat's potential reaction to someone new showing up with her Miraculous without warning, I DID love that Marinette had this long list of protips. I especially liked this one:

Marinette: (v.o) Protip 33: When Cat Noir tells a joke, try to laugh at it even if it isn't funny. It makes him happy.

Even in episodes where I have a problem with the way Marinette conceives of Chat Noir, I generally still like elements of it. Like even in Ephemeral, while I think it was very, very wrong for her to try to trick Chat the way she did, she WAS doing it because she didn't want to risk Su-Han taking Chat's Miraculous from him. Or in Kuro Neko, when she didn't want to give the miraculous back to Plagg to give to Chat Noir, because she was afraid they'd end up back in this same situation, and she didn't want to keep hurting him.

At her core, Marinette cares about Chat's feelings and wants him to feel good, to be happy. The issue comes from her not seeing things from his perspective, from being terrible at reading him. Marinette has a lot of compassion towards Chat Noir, she just doesn't understand him.

#ask #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste #ml analysis #miraculous ladybug

[bugsims]

#HA HA HA. THIS ISN'T FUNNY WHERE DID HE GO #bountiful bells legacy #ts4 #sims 4 #ts4 legacy #sims 4 legacy #audie bells #bbl g3 #cordell #i guess

[front-facing-pokemon]

#jirachi #as i'm queuing this up. i'm sorta. realizing that deoxys has four forms. and i'm wondering what to do about that #like. do i just choose normal form and go with that?? or do i do every single form?? or do all the forms in one post?? or what #this isn't about jirachi. i like jirachi and i think those theories about how bidoof actually caused all of pmd sky are pretty funny #and like. also weirdly reasonable. but i dunno if jirachi is the type to be like a genie. where when you make a wish he's like #o0o0o0o but there's a caAaAaAaAtch……… #i don't think. that's something jirachi does? so it's even funnier then bc it's like jirachi did that on TOTAL accident. but i find that #hard to believe. folks say it's like… he did that so that he could get bidoof some friends Naturally or whatever but i just don't feel like #he'd be the type. but maybe that's why he ends up in the expedition society later on. he felt so bad about ending the world just to help out #a rookie who wanted some friends that he dedicated himself to saving the world instead. which. is kinda sweet. and the whole reason i've #been he/him-ing him this whole time. bc that's what they do in psmd. where his boss battle theme is just a whole banger for no reason #anyway those are some fun theories. i have to figure out what to do for jirachi and also put some chicken in the slow cooker

[sylphwing]

hm. i do not like chilshi 🤔

#sylph.txt #everyone likes to joke abt how much of an epic divorce man chilchuck is #but i dont think he ever even refers to her as his ex-wife. i could b wrong bc it's been a while since i read it tho #idk a lot of his arc is him learning to b more open w others (which is essentially what ended his relationship) #and u can see how much he's grown in the chapter where senshi goes into his past #to me it would b a lot sweeter for him to take on these lessons and go back to her and make things work #it's been 4 years but he's remained loyal to her depite their issues. idk to me it rlly does feel like he still loves her he's just a fool #it's made p clear that he's a coward and that he's quick to run away so actually committing to her would b a nice way to wrap things up #we don't get to see much of his wife so i get y ppl r quick to put him w the only other man in the party #but like senshi knows abt his wife too like i do not think he's gnna b making any moves here bc he has morals lmao #(*only other older man in the party. laios doesn't qualify for old man yaoi to most chilshi likers) #(even tho chilchuck isn't old either but shh they don't care abt that) #when it comes to senshi the changeling chapter def helped him w understanding how old the rest of the party is #but he clearly still views them as significantly younger than him #i don't think he views chil as a child anymore but for the majority of their time together he did #and so going from that to in a relationship is uhh rlly weird to me! #senshi has always taken a sort of parental role upon himself #w him romance is no where as interesting as the platonic bonds he has w the rest of the party #similar to how romance is entirely unimportant to izutsumi in the succubus chapter #idk i def don't hate the pairing and there r some takes on it that i find funny #but for me i just don't see anything between them i think ppl just want an m/m ship to play with #that ao3 gap is only gnna get bigger lmao

[earlgreybocchan]

Lost my original post of this from the other day but I genuinely don't understand how Black Butler discourse ever shifted into the does Sebastian ~really~ like Ciel or is Ciel just dinner line of conversation that is pervasive as it is because Sebastian is the one that has absorbed his whole existence into Ciel's. Sebastian's face is what Ciel wants Sebastian's whole purpose is doing things for Ciel Sebastian's every hell of a butler yes my lord speech is about how he's Ciel's and Ciel is the one going around saying shit like whatever Sebastian is just my pawn 💅

#like sjdjdkdd?????? #it's not that i don't think ciel loves sebastian per se bc. well. i don't think he'd ever process it in terms like that no matter what... #...kind of relationship they have bc the most important thing to him is getting him to do tasks like a dog and proving he will over and over #which is why sebastian does it all so overkill #but the most acknowledgement you ever get that ciel likes sebastian is stuff like idk the fucking book of atlantic you did good today #or if we're feeling really crazy the you were the only demon there line #like the dynamic has gotten way skewed in fandom away from the actual text #and i know why but it's still annoying bc i am not even saying this in a shippy way bc i don't give a fuck about ships #but they're so crazy entwined and in completely incomparable inhuman situations that it literally has no merit on this story to sit and... #...definitely piece together how this relationship works with real life normie standards like it literally is going to fit into no box of... #...what we think of as friends or siblings or parents or partners bc no victorian guy on the face of the earth has a real pet demon. #it's so boring you're missing the bigger picture that they're everything to each other and completely stuck together forever #does x mean y mean z? (least problematic answer only) they're stuck together! forever! #and no one has demons in real life it's all comparable to real life nothing #other than the asthma that's real #anyway. it's like fandom has made up a version of this story in their heads that is so devoid of anything that makes the story the story #twitter is like another planet for this i am mostly talking about twitter where i have been looking for news about the anime and oh boy #i have said this before but sebastian doesn't have a grip on human relationships bc he's not one and ciel doesn't give a fuck #but like this post started with and strayed from. well. sebastian isn't even trying to act like he's indifferent. ciel actually is. #and we're all missing several funny bits from that just trying to fit everything into a box #we could have more interesting conversations if we got past the same three people have been having for 20 years #kuroshitsuji #my kuro posts

[multishipper-baby]

This is really stupid but the idea of Fred doing Fox's surgery is so funny to me for no reason.

#no main tag #fred gets the power to do everything via lobotomy and uses it for trans affirmation. what a guy #I'm just imagining fox waking up from his coma without memory and being ??? at his new body #I mean he likes his new body but the shock of waking up looking completely differently throws him off for a little while lol #also I imagine fred probably did phalloplasty the normal way but at the same time. wouldn't it be funny if he did it in an immoral wau #fox: hey I realized I don't have any weird scars so. where did you take the skin? #freddy: yeah so you don't remember rn but... we didn't use your skin... #fox: #fox: WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT ISN'T MY SKIN? WHOSE SKIN IS IT? #fred just didn't want the corpses to go to waste and he didn't want to spend time cleaning fox's arm okay #this has to be the weirdest post I made in a long while #ask to tag #?

[miserye]

never would i have thought in a million years that i would get close enough to my boss that he would ask me to house sit for him

#chatterye #this is not incredibly uncommon in our dpt #i would like to stress this #but for me? insane #i think i was chose via process of elimination because i a. have no life (least likely to party out of everyone) and b. don't talk #which are both good for this endeavor #the way i asked no questions i was just like if you can get me there and back sure #whatever you want bossman idc #it was actually so funny but so awkward because we are the most awk ppl ever #n e ways that what i'm doing tmr and maybe seeing some dogs w someone else but isn't that crazy #that someone would get to know me and then trust me enough to sit in their house for them LMFAOOOOO #i'm lwky excited to see his house because like . that is so weird and foreign to me #i'm actually going to bet that he keeps his shoes on in the house i can feel it in my bones i hope not but i bet you #the fact that he literally went on a small hour long trip w me where i practically did not speak and then #went on to see me ditch him for 30 mins during work to grab coffee w my coworker the next day and still decided to ask me LMFAOOOOO #sorry i'm saying so much this is just so funny and surreal to me #now he has to write me the best rec letter of my life and of his career #you'll def see a nervous live tweeting here tmr while i'm over there #also i had the most fulfilling ubereats order in a while and it made me happy #i will never get ppl who don't enjoy burgers you're not better than the rest of us i promise #also i got their deep fried oreos for free and when i tell you those mfs were gas oh my god

[starlit-mansion]

i am overall glad that i left comedy nerd spaces (esp since i got out while the getting was still good and i didn't have to hear other people make their bad jokes about the various creeps ousted from their thrones with credible accusations of sexual misconduct), but i do sort of mourn that an entire swath of my foundational nerd knowledge is rendered useless by exclusively staying in a space that thought john mulaney was a wholesome friendly good guy for three years until he eventually displeased them

#this post is not really about john though i do have more to say. because i knew about him before he was tumblr popular #and i did always think it was weird that no one went any deeper than the memetic stuff #i didn't want to go knocking on doors asking for the devil but it was. odd. and i liked other people from the chicago alt scene more #i'm just saying that overall being a person who has ever liked and cared about comedy who lives on fandom tumblr can be baffling #because people have the wildest takes about what comedy should be and what is funny #and they are wrong. because funny isn't always punching up. and funny breaks any rule you try to box it into #and it cuts into the vulnerable just as much as the powerful and to pretend otherwise is foolish #i'm not sure where i'm going with this. i'm just saying words recreationally #one thing my partner and i bond over is a deep fascination and love for standup comedy and the power of cadence #and when you like comedy more than casually you have to deal with the fact that it's the doing drugs and cheating on your wife artform #it's the depression and untreated adhd and autism art form. it's the suicide art form. and even when it's transcendent it's fuckin silly #so i find it easier to just pretend that i don't really care about it #but really i just shifted to being passionate about commentary youtubers (the stand up comedians of youchewb)

[t4tbruharvey]

📗 👀

when oh when will i have the motivation to write my trans bruce banner thesis fic wherein rick immediately clocks him as an egg but doesn't say anything because bruce is kind of going through it rn

#they go on a little road trip across the desert and then they get picked up by the military #and betty takes rick back to her flat after telling bruce he's selfish for letting rick come this far with him (she's right) #and then bruce goes on the run from the military (again) after escaping and the stuff happens with jen to make her she hulk #and rick (who's been tracking disturbances of this kind in order to find bruce) sees this on the news and asks betty to come w him #so they go to minnesota and find out that it's not actually bruce it's jen! and betty and jen have their mini gay arc #where betty already knows she's gay and feels neutral on jen and jen thinks she's stright but is going insane for betty #and rick gets like a semblance of a normalish life w betty except betty has a lot of issues from her childhood e.g. her mum dying #and then rick #meanwhile bruce has been joining the avengers and thinking steve is being transphobic #he's not. steve is also trans he just doesn't like bruce as a person #and then rick breaks into the avengers compound when bruce is off world with thor (ragnarok era) and yells at steve and tony <3 #and rick becomes steve's sidekick as he did in the comics #and then bruce returns! family reuinion! #reunion. whatever #and everyone learns the power of community and also tony dies #sequel fic dealing with rick's INSANE jealousy when peter joins bc HE should be the youngest coolest trans guy there #what do you MEAN he isn't the baby anymore. that he isn't the most funny and interesting and smart (in his own way) transmasc. #what the HELL everyone is meant to be on his SIDE #bruce voice (without looking up from his work) nobody's taking sides rick be a bit more mature about this #rick voice MATURE???? HE HAS ACTUAL SKILLS IM WORTHLESS AND EVERYONE IS THINKING IT WOE IS ME ET CETERA #sorry lois this really got away from me

[yuukiiqwq]

Satoru was confident that you liked him back. He was positive. He had no doubt in his mind that you were going to be his pretty little wife. Is he getting ahead of himself? Sure, he is, but he's that confident. That's until he noticed how he hadn't received any chocolate from you.

It was Valentine's Day, and he still hasn't received any chocolate from you. Yeah, he had a mountain worth of chocolate from all those people who gave him it, but where was yours? He couldn't find it anywhere. He was sure that you would have placed your chocolate on his desk since you hadn't given him his. He double no triple checked all the chocolates, yet he could not find the one that has your pretty little name written on it. He continued to search through the chocolate pile for the fourth time today.

He must have missed it, right? Or did someone steal it? He swear he's going to hunt that person to the end of the Earth. Who dared to steal something that was rightfully his?

"Satoru, calm down."

He looked up at his best friend, who was trying to hold down a laugh at his panic.

"She'll probably give it to you later. The day just begun."

Right. Suguru is right. You'll give him his chocolate later. He's a good boy. He can wait.

That's what he told himself, but Suguru and Shoko have already received theirs this morning, and his is still nowhere to be found. Where is his chocolate? You're just sitting there in your seat, looking all pretty as if Satoru is not going through a huge dilemma because of you.

He couldn't help his hands that kept inching itself closer to the chocolate you gave Suguru. He wouldn't know if he snatched it, right? Suguru had received a lot of chocolate! He wouldn't know if he took it... was what he convinced himself before Suguru slapped his hand away.

"Satoru," he sighs.

"But Suguru!!!" Satoru whined as he sunk down into his seat.

"Be patient. You'll get yours soon."

But how soon is soon? Satoru isn't exactly known for his patient.

It was the end of the day, and still no chocolate from you. He asked Suguru and Shoko to leave first because he thought you would finally give it to him when both of you were alone. But you haven't. Where was his chocolate?

The two of you were approaching the exit of school, so Satoru made a quick decision, grabbing your wrist and pulling you into an empty classroom. He quickly shut the door and locked it.

"Satoru?" You asked in confusion. "What's wrong?"

"My chocolate."

"Your chocolate?"

"My chocolate from you! The symbol of your love towards me!"

"I didn't make you any," you replied smoothly. "Forgot to make them yesterday, so I woke up early today to make them, but I guess not early enough. I only had time to finish Shoko's and Suguru's. I didn't have time to make yours. Otherwise, I would have been late."

Satoru swear the world just ended. He looked down at his chest because he swears his heart ripped out of his chest at your words. Nope. Still alive. Why is he still alive in this cruel world? You had no chocolate for him? None? Not even a crumb?

"That's fine with you, right? I mean, you got a bunch of chocolate from other girls! You don't need mine."

He swear he is about to burst into tears. He didn't care about other girls. He didn't care about their chocolate. He wanted yours. How could you be so cruel and deny him of your chocolate? To reject him like this? He was devastated. No. Beyond devastated. Where is the closest cliff so he can jump off?

Pure silence radiated the room as Satoru tried to comprehend this horrible situation. Then he heard a small giggle slip pass your lips. That small giggle soon turns into a full-out laugh.

"You should have seen the look on your face, Satoru," you say as you try to stop laughing.

Was this funny to you? Why were you laughing at his suffering? Do you know how much he looked forward to today? To receive the cute little wrapped up chocolate you made for him? He dreamed of today, and you didn't have chocolate for him?

He then sees you reach into your bag and pull out exactly what he had imagined. A cute little chocolate box wrapped up in a baby blue color with a touch of white ribbon to finish it off. Fuck. He thinks he just got a heart attack seeing your chocolate. His chocolate.

"Princess, please don't joke like that to me ever again. You scared me half to death. I was going to jump off a cliff," he whined as he took the chocolate from your hand.

You couldn't help but roll your eyes at his dramatic behavior. "Stop being dramatic, Satoru. It's just chocolate."

A look of offense dawned his face as you utter those horrendous words to him.

"Chocolate? Just chocolate?" He huffed at you. He can't believe you as you treat this amazing god send gift as just chocolate. "Don't you dare call this just chocolate! This! This right here is proof of your undying love towards me!"

You laughed at his antics– "You're getting ahead of yourself, Satoru."

He delicately placed the chocolate safety away in his bag, treating it as a prized possession. He's looking forward towards white day. He already knows what he wants to get for you. He pulled you into a hug, nuzzling his face against your neck as he mutters– "You won't be saying that after I wife you up."

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