#Holy crap these are two whole human children in his 'care' such as it is what the hell does he do with that | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

noteguk · 3 years

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bad behavior | jjk | m

This is in the same universe as “bad influence.” It can, however, be read as a stand-alone.

— summary; in which staying late to volunteer at a self-help meeting was the best decision you made in a while.

— contents and warnings; smut, the endless adventures of badboy!jk x goodgirl!reader, public sex (in a church…), dirty talk, fingering, degradation (name calling) but also praise, unprotected sex, clothed sex, creampie, cum play, there is a window and also reflections, rough sex, cockwarming, jk being a lil shit because that’s his main personality trait, jk smokes (only mentioned), enemies to fuckbuddies: dawn of the first day

— words; 8.2k

— author’s note; for the anon that asked how their first time was like ;) join me as we explore the lore of this godforsaken couple

It was your mother’s idea for you to find a new place to volunteer. According to her, it had been a long time since you experienced “the invigorating energy of community work” — last time was when you were trying to level up your college application — and it could really “soothe your anxious soul” during the trying times of college finals. Apparently one tutoring program and two research projects weren’t enough to distract you, but you could see where she was coming from.

In the end, you accepted. The old places you used to volunteer in had either shut off their programs or were just too far away from college for you to consider. At first, you decided to follow your mother’s suggestion and tried to work with children — “small miracles”, as she called them — in a local daycare. Which ended up being a terrible idea.

You liked giving back to the community, you really did, but it wasn’t long until you realized that working with infants hasn’t been your wisest decision, and that children weren’t miracles at all. You got tired of going home covered in paint and with pieces of playdough entangled in your hair, and that was when you weren’t unlucky enough to get hit with other, less clean fluids.

So you eventually gave up — both on the daycare and on the faint idea of one day going into pediatrics — and searched for a new place. After having to yell your way through retirement homes, and getting fed up with washing people’s sidewalks, you finally settled in a program that was flexible and light enough for your intense college hours: preparing (and then later cleaning up) a room that was reserved in a local church for weekly meetings.

The entire ordeal took about two to three hours off your day, and more than half of it was spent as free time: waiting for the meeting to end, cramming piles of information in a small room next door. You didn’t really know what the meetings were about since they changed practically every month — they were, at first, a support group for teenage mothers, then it became an AA meeting, then a group for drug users trying to quit. Lately, you were starting to think that the church just gave away the room for whoever had the money to rent it, so it wasn’t a surprise when it was reserved for a motivational speaker to give confidence lessons.

You had researched the guy, some old dude with an unpronounceable name and a sketchy background, and found exactly the type of person you had expected. Yes, you were in the house of Christ, but you were still being heavily judgmental of the fact that he was giving those talks when he had no qualifications whatsoever, and was probably making bank off all the self-help books he regurgitated at least twice a year to prey on vulnerable people. You did share your worries with the administrative office of the church, but they ultimately fell on deaf ears, and you gave up on the idea of kicking his ass out of the holy grounds anytime soon.

It was after one of those pseudo-motivational talks that you walked into the empty room, ready to clean everything up before rushing back to your place, where your roommate had promised to greet you with some wonderful takeout. The chairs were still placed in a circle on the center of the room, where they had been since forever, and you made sure to align them perfectly before you moved on to the litter that had been thrown around the place.

One good thing about those self-help meetings was that they were a lot cleaner than a lot of other attendees, so the “picking up the trash until your back started to hurt” part passed by surprisingly fast. You had just moved on to the snack table, analyzing what you could still save, when your soul almost left your body.

“Hey, you,” you heard a known voice behind you. “What are you doing in here?”

You swiftly turned around, heart thumping violently against your ribcage. You didn’t know how you hadn’t let out the biggest, most blood-curdling scream ever, but that was just the first of many miracles of the night. “Jesus Christ,” you wheezed out, taking one hand to your chest. “You shouldn’t sneak up on people like this.” You swallowed dry, some part of your brain recalling that he had asked you a question. “And I’m volunteering here.”

“I didn’t sneak up on you, you’re just jumpy.” Jungkook scoffed, leaning against the doorframe with that stupid playful smirk curling up on his lips. You didn’t know they allowed demons inside the church. “And of course you are.” He rolled his eyes.

Maybe a few months back, his mocking tone would’ve stung a bit more. However, you had been tutoring Jungkook for about three months then, suffering through endless sessions of his whining and complaining, and you’ve grown used to his passive-aggressive antics already. You learned that Jungkook was a shark seeking for blood, waiting for any crack that would allow him to jump into a perverse little joke — about how you behaved, your priorities, or even the color of your highlighter. You, of course, always stood your ground and threw his comments right back at him — which was his initial plan, as you’ve come to realize. Jungkook enjoyed playfully arguing with you, and you thought that it was another level of strangeness and masochism you simply didn’t have time to dissect.

Still, Jungkook (shockingly) wasn’t the terrible person you once thought he was. Every once in a while — when he was trying to talk you out of teaching him — the conversations you two would have were actually mostly pleasant, and he wasn’t awful to hang around when he dropped the whole badass persona to act like a real human being. You would even dare to say that Jungkook could be actually funny at times, and not in the bitter, sarcastic way he usually was. Sometimes, you dared to think, he could actually be reasonably nice. And also kind of cute. Even hot.

But you would never actually admit any of that out loud. Or even to yourself, really.

“And you?” You asked, turning back around to face the table full of half-eaten food. That looked like a battlefield, and you could already tell that there were only a few survivors left standing. “What are you doing here? Repenting?”

Jungkook chuckled dryly. “You wish. My parents want me to quit smoking,” he said. You could not see him, but you could hear him walking closer to you as you fumbled with the large Tupperware. “We settled on this crap instead of a forced intervention.”

You scoffed. Most of the food before you was unsalvageable — some of the cupcakes had been bitten once and then placed back, and you wondered how someone like that could function in society. “You don’t seem very motivated to quit,” you mumbled.

Jungkook clicked his tongue. “I don’t really care.”

His voice was much closer to you, and you felt the air leaving your lungs for a pitiful instant. You convinced yourself you had only gotten scared again. “You should care about the growing possibility of lung cancer.”

He shrugged. “Maybe. But it’s not really on the top of my list of priorities at the moment.”

“And what is?” You asked.

“Amongst other things…” he trailed off and, suddenly, he was standing besides you, pointing at the chaotic pile of sweets. “I actually came back to grab another one of those cupcakes. The chocolate ones are great.”

You didn’t know why, but his comment broke the odd tension that you didn’t even know that was there, clicking you back into your previous mentality — the one that you just wanted to finish cleaning up so you could leave soon. “All yours,” you told him, “grab as many as you want.”

Jungkook hummed in satisfaction, reaching out to grab one special brown cupcake — an untouched one, thankfully. “I love when you talk dirty.” He almost moaned before shoving the cupcake inside his mouth, taking a huge bite off it. Dramatically, Jungkook rolled his eyes and sighed in delight. “These are fucking great.”

You chuckled, glancing at his direction. Jungkook was dressed in all black, like he usually was, and you were starting to recognize a newfound admiration towards his constant use of leather jackets. What? He looked good. “I’m glad the self-help sessions are paying off,” you commented, swiftly placing the cupcakes inside the transparent container.

Jungkook was paying attention to your actions now, like he noticed you were there working for the first time. “What are you doing with the rest?”

“The church will probably donate it, give it to the homeless or something.” You shrugged. “Or they’ll eat it, I don’t know. I just clean up the place and leave.”

Jungkook laughed at that, taking another monstrous bite from his cupcake and throwing himself on one of the nearby chairs. Your eye twitched a little at the thought that he had ruined your perfect circle, but you’d have to fix that on your way out. “Sounds absurdly boring,” he sang. “And they’re not even paying you.”

You sighed. “After all the places I’ve volunteered in, boring is a blessing,” you told him. You had just placed five hot dogs in the container, and you were starting to wonder if it would be a good idea to feed people in need with those suspicious sausages. “But, yeah, you probably don’t care about any of that.”

“You don’t know what I care about,” Jungkook said matter-of-factly. You didn’t know if he was trying to tease you, but his voice came out so soft and monotone that you couldn’t really be mad about it. It was true, after all: you didn’t actually know what he cared about. Sometimes you thought that he could read you better than you could read him. “Want me to stay here with you? This place is probably empty already.”

You could not hold back your laugh at that, turning around so you could look at him. “Are you offering to be my bodyguard? In a church?”

Jungkook pouted. There was a thin line of chocolate on the side of his lips, which he quickly licked clean. “I’m trying to be nice.”

You giggled, turning back towards the disgusting food. The rest was mostly trash, but you were happy enough with the amount you had managed to find in a good state. “That’s new.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He asked. “I’m always nice.”

“Always is a strong word.” You smiled, closing the lid of the Tupperware. You had managed to fill three small containers with the leftovers and, honestly, that was a big victory. “But you can stay or you can leave, I don’t mind. I’m almost done anyways.”

He frowned. “Is that your answer?”

You turned around. “What? You want me to beg for your company?” You smiled. “You’re mistaken if you think I’d ever do that.”

“I’m staying.” Jungkook crumpled up the piece of cupcake wrapping and threw it in the trash can besides your body. He watched you for a moment as you started to throw the leftovers away, your back turned to him and a distracted look on your face. When he broke the silence again, you were throwing the last piece of bread in the bin. “Why are you volunteering?”

“Because I like giving back to the community.”

Jungkook sneered at your words. “Seriously now. Don’t lie, we’re in a church.”

“I do, actually,” you stood your ground. There was a vague sound of crickets coming from the half-open window and the low buzzing of the fluorescent lights above you, but, other than that, the city was covered in absolute silence. Perhaps that was why you felt so at peace. “But my mom told me it would be a good thing to keep myself relaxed. You know, take my mind off college stuff.”

He hummed, and you heard him getting up from the chair. “You always do what your mom tells you?”

You met his gaze. “Didn’t your parents make you come here?”

He smiled. “Not the point.”

Before you could hold yourself back, your lips were curling up. Again: Jungkook wasn’t absolutely awful to be around when he actually acted like a human being. “When she says something I agree with, yes,” you told him. “My ego isn’t bruised when it comes to following someone’s idea.”

He raised his eyebrows. “You’re saying that mine is?”

“I didn’t say that.” You smirked and turned back to the table. You started piling up the used plastic cups, already eyeing all the used plates, forks and knives that you’d have to throw away. The daycare had better eating manners than that. “Thought we were talking about me.”

“We were,” Jungkook agreed. One of his inked hands moved to the table, and you were about to tell him that he could eat more of the cupcakes when you realized that he had started to reach for the discardable plates, throwing them away. You really didn’t think he’d help you. “Finals are coming up, though, and you care about that shit. Shouldn’t you be using this time to study or something?”

“I study while you’re out here listening to becoming your real self or, I don’t know... waking up the giant within,” you said. “I’m fine, don’t worry about it.”

He hummed, his nose cringing up at the disgusting remains of food that stuck to the plastic forks. Jungkook seriously didn’t know how you could do that for fun. “You know there are better ways to relax than cleaning up a dusty room, right?”

“Probably,” you agreed. The cups were already in the trash, alongside with the plates, and there were only a few crumpled up napkins to get rid of before you tasted the sweet nectar of freedom. “But here I am. That’s what I chose for myself.”

“Literally any other option would’ve been better,” Jungkook pressed on. “Isn’t that obnoxious friend of yours in cheer or something?”

“Who? Jisoo?” You smiled at him. No one had ever called her obnoxious, but you couldn’t say that the title didn’t fit. Jisoo could be really… intense when it came to standing up for what she believed in. “She is. She invited me to join her already, if that’s what you’re gonna ask, but it’s not really my thing.”

“It’s a shame,” he mumbled, leaning against the table. It was a beautiful miracle how clean that room had become just by getting rid of the piles of gross food, and you had proudly thrown the last piece of paper inside the trash bin when Jungkook spoke up again. “You’d look really hot in that outfit.”

You stopped in your tracks, taking a second to digest the claim he had so mindlessly thrown your way. Just like all-things-Jungkook, a pleasant conversation could not last long, so you weren’t even surprised that he managed to ruin that talk with such a fuckboy-esque comment.

Also like all-things-Jungkook, he managed to awaken a reaction out of you that you didn’t even know could be there. With a faint heat in your cheeks and a frown blossoming amongst your features, you actually felt a little bit of... satisfaction with the fact that he thought that you’d look hot in that skimpy outfit. At the same time, you wanted to slap yourself for falling into his charms so easily.

In that conflicting turmoil of emotions, all you could say was a monotone, “You cannot be serious right now.”

Even if you kind of wanted him to be serious.

“I’m being dead serious,” Jungkook didn’t back down, much to the elation of your ego. You felt like a schoolgirl being recognized by her crush, and the idea alone made your stomach curl onto itself. What the hell were you even thinking about? Yeah, Jungkook was pretty hot, but he was also kind of a douche and you didn’t want to get involved with that mess of a person. Or at least that was what you were trying to convince yourself of. “I mean…” he continued, “you’re even rocking this knee-level dress right now, can’t even imagine how you’d look if—“

“You can shut up now, Jungkook, thanks,” you interrupted him. Because you didn’t know how to act when he was so blatantly flirting with you, you switched back to the same passive-aggressive behavior that you had given him for the past three months. Call it self-preservation, call it panic, but your mind simply didn’t know where to go from there. “And I’m also done here, so you can skidaddle back to whatever swamp you came out of.”

“Awn, don’t be mean, princess.” He pouted. Jungkook was a master at getting you worked up, and you had just given that to him on a silver platter. Maybe if you had mock-flirted back, he would’ve baked away. You would never know. “I was just fucking with you, you’re too easy to tease.”

You pressed your lips together, hip touching the corner of the now empty table. “You were pretty much harassing me,” you said playfully.

“I was not.” Jungkook smirked, shoving his hands inside the pockets of his pants. When had the two of you gotten so close? There was barely any space between your chests. “But it’s okay, I’m not gonna compliment you anymore, don’t worry. You don’t have to be so defensive.”

“I’m not being defensive,” you said, defensive.

“What, is it the church setting?” He raised his eyebrows, taking a look around. “Is it making you uncomfortable?”

“No,” you answered, crossing your arms before your chest. Jungkook followed the movement and his gaze got stuck on the shape of your breasts for a second too long, making a newfound wave of heat rise up to your cheeks. “Not as much as you’re trying to make me uncomfortable right now.”

He chuckled. “You do look cute when you’re shy,” Jungkook teased, taking a step towards you, and you took another one back, pretending you were just going to lean against the table. You sat on it in a weird diagonal position, with one leg still on the ground and the other dangling over the edge. Jungkook was so close that, when he spoke again, voice just above a whisper, you could feel his breath on your skin. “If you don’t want me here, just ask me to go and I’ll go.”

You opened your mouth to respond, but no words came out. The atmosphere was filled with electricity, your body drowning in the warmth of his presence, the sharp seriousness in his dark eyes, and you could not bring yourself to say anything. Did you want him to leave?

No, you realized in a rush of adrenaline, you didn’t want him to leave at all.

Jungkook raised one of his eyebrows. “Hm? Nothing?” He smirked, placing himself between your legs. Every nerve of your body was screaming for you to touch him, to just wrap his mouth with yours, and you simply could not respond to any of its commands. “You’re full of surprises.”

You found your voice at that comment, heart hammering against your chest. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You’re a smart girl, you can figure it out.” Jungkook placed one strand of your hair behind your ear, his gaze flickering down to your chest. From where he stood, he could see the beautiful mounds of your breasts peeking under the fabric, licking his lips at the sight. “Can I at least say that I like your dress?”

Jungkook’s palm slithered up your knee before you could even react, moving towards your inner thigh and raising your dress along with it. His touch was electrifying, and you found yourself craving more of it, a sigh caught on your throat at the tenderness of his hot skin.

“Something tells me that your compliment isn’t so innocent,” you told him, leaning your head back slightly so you could hold his gaze. “Aren’t you gonna complete that and say that I would look better without it?”

Jungkook chuckled. “The idea is compelling, I’ll admit it,” he said, rubbing soft circles on your skin. His other hand slithered around your waist, pulling you closer to him. “But don’t need to take it off to fuck you.”

Your eyes grew wide at that, brain short-circuiting. You frankly couldn’t believe that was happening — the fact that Jungkook was so shamelessly trying (and honestly succeeding) to initiate sex with you. In a fucking church too, of all places. “What- what did you say?”

“You heard what I said.” His stare didn’t falter. Jungkook was looking at you like he could eat you whole, and you seriously wouldn’t mind if he tried to. You'd deal with the social and psychological implications of that another time. “Just tell me to stop and I’ll do it, princess. No hard feelings, promise.”

This time, you spoke out and the firmness and certainty in your voice surprised even yourself. “I don’t want you to stop.”

“No?” His voice sounded like honey, so deep and melodic even through the thick layers of his sarcasm. You had never heard him get so serious, so focused, and the thought that it was all for you was igniting a fire inside your guts. “You wanna get fucked in a church?”

You bit your lip, blinking up at him. The point was: you wanted Jungkook, of all people, to fuck you. The fact that it was in a church was just the cherry on top, and you didn’t care about it as much as you should — your mom would be weeping blood if she knew what was going on, but you weren’t planning on telling anything to anybody. “And what if I do?” You asked back teasingly.

Jungkook smiled, knocking the breath right out of you. You could only hope that you didn’t look as horny as you felt, because your pride was still on the line. “Told you that you were full of surprises.” He pushed one of your legs open, making you lose your support on the floor. Now, both of your feet were dangling off the edge, body trapped between his strong arms and thighs on either side of him. “Are you a virgin, baby?”

You shook your head, and your voice reached you a bit later. “No.”

“Naughty,” Jungkook said, leaning in. He stared at you like a lion stalking its prey, his gaze lingering on your parted lips before, at last, he tilted his head to the side, deciding to move towards your neck instead. “But if you have the taste I think you do, you probably had some lame missionary sex with some goodie-two shoes.”

When he started kissing your neck, you almost forgot to give him a response. You had to bite your lip to suppress a moan, instead producing a low, shaky sigh. “And if I did? What’s the problem with some lame missionary sex?”

“No need to get mad, I’m on your side here,” Jungkook said, one of his hands navigating up your waist, between the valley of your breasts, before grabbing your boob. That time, you couldn’t hold back the whimper that escaped you. “Did he make you cum?”

“Sometimes,” you said, slightly flustered. You didn’t think you’d be discussing your sexual history with Jungkook, but, well, there you were. “He was alright.”

“Only sometimes?” Jungkook chuckled, the vibrations of his deep timbre vibrating through the sensitive skin of your neck, his thumb grazing your nipple. The heat between your legs only grew, your entire body practically begging to feel more of him. “That’s a shame, I could do better.”

You rolled your eyes. “Don’t start getting cocky.”

“I never stopped being cocky,” he responded without hesitation. Well, he was right. “And I do have a good track record.”

“Doubt it,” you said, the ghost of a smile lingering on your lips. You knew that you were playing a dangerous game, pressing right at the weak spots of his inflated ego to see how he would react. Perhaps you’d be luckier trying to poke a bear with a short stick. “You wouldn’t know the difference between a real and fake orgasm even if it hit you in the face.”

Jungkook leaned back and looked at you for an instant. You knew he had caught onto your challenge straight away. He liked it as much as you did, there was no doubt about that. “Let’s see, shall we?” he asked. There was no denying the devilish aura that was all around him now, suffocating you with its tempting heat. “How long do we have?”

“I’m locking up the room tonight,” you said, watching as his eyes sparked with an emotion you could not decipher. “But I wanna get home before ten. Have homework.”

You could see him fighting against the natural urge to ridicule you for saying something like that at such an odd time, but, at the end, he managed to avoid it. “More than enough time.” Jungkook placed one hand on the back of your neck, gaze darting hungrily toward your lips. “Come here.”

And then his mouth was on yours, and everything else was white noise. Jungkook kissed you much slower than you had anticipated, taking his sweet time caressing your mouth with his; hands exploring the curves of your body and teasing their way underneath your dress. He sighed heavily against your mouth when you wrapped your arms around his shoulders, pulling him closer and deepening the kiss, his soft tongue poking out and entering your mouth perfectly. Jungkook was a good kisser, you had to admit it, and he got your knees weak sooner than you’d like.

His body was hot and firm against yours and you could feel the outline of his abs underneath your fingers as you trailed your hands down his torso; his quick heartbeat drumming on your palms. Jungkook’s breathing got heavier as you hooked your fingers on the hem of his pants and tugged him toward you. Instantly you noticed the outline of his hard cock against your inner thigh.

Then, something switched. Just as you had reached out to touch his hardness, squeezing it lightly underneath your fingers, Jungkook groaned against your mouth and bit down on your lip. You had barely any time to react before he was pulling away from the kiss, gaze darkening.

“Such a tease,” he mumbled hoarsely, his breath hitting your mouth in soft waves. His hand was hovering over your heat, his middle finger pressing down on your sensitive nub, making you whimper. “You don’t know what you do to me.”

Jungkook was much quicker than your thoughts and, within a second, the motion of your panties being pushed aside made you fumble closer to him; your hands holding tightly onto his shoulders when he finally decided to touch you.

“Fuck,” he groaned next to your ear, making your mind go blank for a split second. The teasing motions of his digits brushing your entrance were enough to make you whimper, hips thrusting forward in a failed attempt to make him move further. “Look at this, you’re soaking my fingers. Wanna get fucked that bad?”

But he didn’t let you respond. The sudden intrusion of two fingers inside your pussy made your back arch, nails digging in the leather of his jacket as Jungkook opened you up. “I—” you tried to speak, but it was hard to think when he started pumping his fingers in and out of you. The sounds of your wetness were a filthy symphony filling the quiet atmosphere. “Jungkook, what—”

“God, that’s so tight,” he groaned, speaking through clenched teeth. His voice was enough to shut you up at the spot, a frail moan dripping from your lips. “Relax, baby, you’re too tense. Let me take care of you, alright?”

You nodded, eyes drifting shut as he continued to pump his fingers in and out of you. You hated to admit it, but Jungkook was already winning against your ex by a long shot: the way his digits brushed inside you, gradually moving apart to stretch you, got you searching — begging — for more. You were sure you could cum around his fingers and, when he curled them up and they dragged against your sweet spot, the idea became a lot more palpable.

“Jungkook, you’re taking too long, I’m gonna cum like this,” you complained, chest rising and falling under the waves of your upcoming orgasm. You could feel it building up in your stomach, ready to snap, and you didn’t want it to happen around his fingers. “I wanna feel you.”

Jungkook breathed out at your needy request, placing a kiss against your jaw. “I’m just getting you ready for my cock, baby,” he said. A loud moan dripped from you when he unceremoniously added a third finger, your legs trembling on either side of his body. “I don’t know if you can take it.”

You scoffed. “Don’t flatter yourself,” you said, only half aware of the fact that your voice sounded more like a whimper than a serious comment. “I can.”

He smirked wickedly. You really were pushing his buttons. “We’ll see about that,” Jungkook responded.

Within a second, right as your orgasm was about to wash over you, he removed his fingers from your pussy. The frustrated moan you let out was quickly swollen by him, his mouth rogue against yours and the sweetness of his tongue intoxicating you — probably those stupid cupcakes, you thought.

“Turn around for me,” he asked.

You quickly did as he requested, putting your feet on the ground before turning your back to him, hands leaning on the table. Jungkook placed one hand on the curve of your spine, pushing you down until you had your chest against the surface, ass perked up and pussy in full display for him. There was a gush of cold air against your flesh when he pulled up the fabric of your dress and tossed it over your waist, exposing your lower body for him.

The boy hummed at the sight, one of his legs kicking your feet apart so he could position himself in the middle of your thighs. “You’re pretty all around,” Jungkook commented, one of his palms grazing your asscheek before grabbing it. His motion was harsh, needy; earning a whimper from you. “Knew you would be.”

Through the dense clouds of your desire, there was still some part of you that managed to make fun of that situation. “You spend your free time thinking about my ass?”

“Won’t answer until I have a lawyer present,” he joked.

You felt his fingers hooking around the fabric of your panties, pushing it further to the side so you had your cunt fully exposed for him to see. The drumming of your heartbeat almost drowned out the low groan he produced at the sight of your flushed heat.

“Princess, your pussy is dripping so much…” Jungkook trailed off, one of his fingers tracing a line between your lips. He felt the urge to eat you out, to lick you completely clean and make you cum on his tongue, but he decided that would have to wait for a different time. “Is this all for me?”

“Yeah, all for you,” you said, weak. There was a thundering exasperation building up inside you, motivated from your denied orgasm and from the way that Jungkook was taking his sweet time.

“Good girl,” he mumbled and your chest was filled with pride. “Can’t wait to fuck it.”

“Then don’t wait,” you practically begged. “Just rush.”

He removed his finger from your heat. “Shh… be patient,” Jungkook told you and you swore you could practically hear the smile in his voice. You could hear him shuffling behind you, the sound of his zipper opening echoing around that still room. “I’m gonna give you whatever you want.”

You whined at the abrupt feeling of his warm cock rubbing between your folds, its tip hitting your clit after every languid thrust. “Fuck,” you cried out, shaky. Jungkook wasn’t lying when he said that he was big, his length was so thick that you were starting to get second thoughts whether you could take it or not. Not that you would ever admit it out loud. “Just put it in, Jungkook.”

But Jungkook was having way more fun just teasing you. “Pussy’s so wet for me.” He breathed out, his hands tightening around your hips. You felt him throb between your folds, and the sensation got you searching for air. “You’re soaking my cock, baby. You want it that much?”

“Y-Yeah.”

Jungkook hummed, leaning in so he could place a kiss on your shoulder. “I’m gonna fuck you like you deserve to be fucked, princess,” he promised, his length still rubbing between your folds. He was so hard and heavy that your mind was spinning, your lungs drowning in expectation. “Gonna fuck you so well that you’re never going to forget it. Do you want that?”

“Yes,” your voice was a pathetic moan, and you hated your body for betraying you so easily. “Yes, please.”

After another pec on your shoulder, Jungkook leaned back. “Be loud for me, alright?” He asked. “Can you do that for me?”

You swallowed hard — what were the chances that someone would hear you? You had no idea. “Yeah, whatever you want, just fuck me.”

“Whatever I want? That’s a dangerous thing to say.” He moved around behind you, making you flinch when you felt his cock align with your dripping entrance. The anticipation was driving you insane. “Might have to see if you’re up for it another time.”

There was an answer somewhere in your mind — you could swear there was — but it was quickly forgotten the second that Jungkook pushed himself inside you. The drag of his cock was a delicious torture, streching you out and filling you up to the brim until you were shaking under his touch, both of you moaning at the sensation.

“Oh my god.” You breathed out, hands turning into fists on the table. Your cheek was pressed against the polished wood, hot breath creating small white clouds on the surface.

Jungkook released a shaky sigh when he felt you clenching around him, your body desperately trying to move closer to him. “Fuck, baby,” he hissed, his hands holding onto your hips for dear life. Gradually, he moved himself away from your pussy just so he could slam back inside, marveling on the way you trembled at the feeling, crying out his name in the prettiest of whimpers. “Your pussy is so fucking tight. Squeezing my cock so well.”

Took you only an instant to realize that you were absolutely addicted to the feeling of his cock inside you, the heavenly push of his hardness in and out of you as he slowly started to set a pace. “Oh my god, I’m—” a pitiful hiccup interrupted you, turning your voice into a sharp cry. “That’s so good, Jungkook.”

Jungkook chuckled behind you, his thrusts starting to pick up speed. Your eyes closed in endless bliss, every part of your brain focused on the sensation of his fat length stretching you up. “Told you I’d be, not my fault you didn’t believe me,” he said, but you could tell that his confidence had started to wear itself thin — he, too, seemed to be much more focused on the way that your bodies met. “Do you touch yourself, princess?”

You almost didn’t know how to answer him, a deep heat rushing up to your cheeks. “W-What?”

“When you’re alone, baby,” he practically hissed. You were bouncing on the table then, your body jerking up and down as he fully pistoned his cock inside your heat. “Do you play with your little pussy?”

“Y-yes,” you stammered, embarrassed. “S-Sometimes.”

“Show me how you do it,” he requested in-between huffs, lust dripping from every syllable. Jungkook spoke to you like a siren, effortlessly inducting you to comply with everything he wanted. “Come on. Don’t be shy, I wanna see you play with yourself for me.”

You didn’t even know if what you were feeling was shyness, but there was a veil of hesitation that covered your actions. As your hands moved downwards, one of them clenching around the fabric of your dress and pulling it up while the other trailed over your mound, you felt strangely vulnerable, exposed. At the same time, you wanted to do what he asked you to, wanted him to wash you over with compliments until your mind was going blank.

So you closed your eyes and focused on the sensation of two of your fingers coating themselves in your wetness, then their pressure on your clit. You whined at the feeling, pleasure exploding in your veins as you started to rub yourself, tracing small circles on your sensitive spot. There was no way you could ever reach that sensation again, the sweet motions of your fingers combining perfectly with the thrusts of his hard, fat cock inside you. You were doomed.

“That’s it… just like that, baby,” Jungkook whispered, obsessed with the sensation of your walls fluttering around him. You had gotten so tight that he thought he would see heaven at any second now. “Feels good?”

“Y-Yeah, so good...” you struggled to get out, “feels amazing, Jungkook.”

“So perfect for me,” his praise shot straight up to your core, making you mewl under him. God, the way that you were tightening around him was going to drive him insane. “You feel so fucking good, I can’t stop fucking you.”

Jungkook took one of his hands to your neck, using it to guide your body upwards until you had your back pressed against his chest; his hot lips assaulting your neck. The new position made it so much easier for his cock to drill inside you, reaching even deeper and hitting sweet spots you didn’t even know you had. It wasn’t long before you were moaning out, eyes fluttering shut as the pleasure overtook you.

“Just take a look at that, baby,” his voice broke you out of your hypnotized state. “Look at you. Such a good slut, just taking everything I’m giving you, touching yourself for my cock… fuck. Could watch you like this forever.”

You had to take a moment to understand what he was talking about, and then you saw it: the window. It stood silently across the room from you, half open, and the glass combined with the darkness of the night gave a perfect reflection of the two of you. You could see yourself, the mess you had become, as Jungkook pounded in and out of you and your fingers worked on your clit; the darkness of his hungry gaze as he followed the motions of your body against his.

Even if you cried out at the sight, your body freezed up a little at the thought of someone walking by and seeing that private spectacle. The possibility itself was minimal — the window gave way to the side of the land, where a big, thick fence separated it from the nearby houses; most of the ground covered by large trees and bushes — but it wasn’t zero. You couldn’t even begin to imagine the humiliation that would come from being seen like that.

He, of course, noticed your change of demeanor right away, and you could see in the faint reflection that he had smirked at that realization. “What is it? Are you worried someone is going to walk by?” Jungkook almost groaned against your ear. His cock continued to pump ferociously in and out of you, and you couldn’t even understand your own thoughts for a moment. “That someone is gonna see you get fucked like a good slut?”

“It’s not—” a moan cut your sentence short. Not like you knew where you were heading, anyways.

“No one is gonna see you like this, know why?” Jungkook was grunting, his fingers tightening around your throat. You cried out at the feeling, your cunt clenching around him in a way that got him fucking you even harder. “Cause this is all for me. Just for me.”

Then he was pushing you back on the table, your chest crashing against the wooden surface and his hands yanking you by the waist. Jungkook was fucking you so hard that your worries left you as soon as they arrived, your mind a turmoil of desires and broken exclamations that didn’t give space to anything else but him.

“You look fucking gorgeous like this, stuffed with cock,” he marveled at the sight. There was a known wave of pleasure hovering over you, ready to crash at any given moment, and you stopped rubbing yourself just so you could prolong its arrival. “Wanna see you cum for me, make a mess for me, baby.”

The words left you in a confusing, broken order, “Jungkook, I can’t… too much… can’t...”

“Shhh, you can,” he was slowly easing you into your orgasm, his cock drilling in and out of your pussy. Jungkook fucked like a machine, fast and precise, and you didn’t think you’d be able to forget that anytime soon. “You told me you could take it, so now you’re gonna take it. Don’t you wanna be good for me?”

“I- I want to… I’m so close,” you cried out, pressing your forehead against the table. You didn’t know how it hadn’t broken yet, with the way that Jungkook was fucking you so mercilessly hard. “I’m so, so close.”

“Cream my cock, baby, come on,” he urged you on, his member throbbing inside you at the thought. Your legs were so weak that you knew you’d fall facedown on the floor if he wasn’t supporting your weight with his strong arms. “Be a good girl and cream my cock for me.”

And that was it. That was all that you needed to push yourself over the edge, submerging you in ecstasy and making you squeeze him so deliciously. “J-Jungkook!” You moaned out his name again and again, unsure of how loud you were being, but also not caring as much as you should. Jungkook realized he loved hearing you call his name more than anything else. “Fuck! Oh my god!”

“That’s it, baby,” he moaned back, his thrusts a sloppy, uncoordinated mess. He was hypnotized by the view of your cunt hugging him, your wetness dripping down your thighs as you rode out the last seconds of your orgasm. “Pussy’s so fucking tight, so fucking perfect— gonna cum too.”

You gasped out at the sensitivity that was starting to spread, every movement shaky as you tried to push yourself against him. “Yes, please.” You looked over your shoulder, meeting his hooded gaze. Jungkook looked like a god, his dark hair sweaty and messy and his lip trapped between his teeth. That image would plague you forever. “Cum inside me, please.”

He groaned loudly, eyes closing for a second. “Fuck, that’s so fucking hot,” he hissed, chest heaving with anticipation. You knew he was close, everything pointed to that, and all that you wanted was to see him reach his high, using your body like it was just a doll for him to fuck. “Didn’t know you’d want to be filled up with cum, princess.”

“I’m full of surprises.” You smiled — a pretty, fucked-out smile that got Jungkook grunting like a madman. “I want your cum inside me, Jungkook, please.”

“Gonna fuck you full of my cum, don’t worry— Shit.” The sounds he was making were heavily: those breathy, high-pitched moans that echoed all around you; broken by deep grunts that had your thighs shaking. Jungkook fucked himself in you like he was meant for it, throwing his head back and closing his eyes as he finally found his orgasm. “Fuck! That’s it, fuck—”

Jungkook called out your name and mixed it with praises and curses when he came, spilling himself inside your pussy. You sighed at the feeling, taking in the blissful sensation of having his hot cum spilling out of you, dripping down your legs as he continued to thrust inside you, milking out his orgasm.

At last, he started to wince from sensitivity. His body collided against your back, his heavy breathing fanning your neck as he tried to collect himself. “Fuck, baby,” he mumbled, “you’re amazing.”

“You’re not so terrible yourself.” You could not help the smile that appeared on your lips, nor the way that you melted against the surface of the table, drowning in his heat.

Still, you couldn’t stay there for much longer: it was already a miracle that no one heard the chaos going on in that room, and you weren’t trying to push your luck for the night. Especially since you had a pile of homework (and possibly — now cold — takeout) waiting for you at home.

You raised your body, leaning against your elbows. “I have to leave,” you told him, taking one of your hands to lay on top of his tattooed one, trying to ease his grip from your waist. “Now if you could just…”

“Shhh, shhh,” Jungkook hushed, unrelenting. He was much stronger than you, and your muscles were too weak for you to try and do much, so you eventually gave up. “Stop moving. Let me feel you around me for just a bit more.”

You frowned. “Why?”

“I like it,” he said simply. His breath was a faint caress against the skin of your neck, and you didn’t have much fight left in you. “We all have our tastes.”

You rolled your eyes. “You’re so weird.”

“Don’t kinkshame.” Jungkook pouted, then pressed a kiss against your shoulder. “You just begged me to fuck you in a church, remember?”

“Yeah, I guess I don’t have much place to judge.” You laughed dryly, then looked over your shoulder. “Why is your cock still hard? How long is this gonna take?”

Jungkook groaned, clearly annoyed. “Shut up and enjoy the moment.”

The so-called moment lasted about two more minutes (which was kind of impressive, you thought) before Jungkook softened and slipped out of you. You hated to admit but you kind of liked the feeling of having him still inside you, completing you as his lips danced around your neck; fingers tenderly playing with your hair. You never thought Jungkook would be so gentle after fucking you like that, but you guessed that you weren’t the only one that was full of surprises.

Jungkook, apparently, also liked to admire his work. After he had slipped out of you, he made you sit back on the table just so he could stare at his own cum dripping out of you, a glimmer of satisfaction in his dark gaze. He had pushed his white release back inside you and smirked up at you, asking, ever so kindly, for you to go home like that, filled with his cum.

You, of course, promptly accepted it.

“By the way,” he called when you two had already stepped out of the church, enveloped by the coldness of the night. There was only one solitary light pole illuminating his features, making him look like one of the saints in the chapel — nothing but fake advertisement, in your opinion. “Wanna know how much I got in that immunology test?”

“How much?” You asked.

“Eighty two.” Jungkook smiled brightly then, and you found yourself joining him. “Never saw a grade so high in my life. And that counts all the times I’ve cheated too.”

“Seems like the tutoring sessions are paying off.” You crossed your arms before your chest, the hem of your dress swirling around your knees. The night was weirdly peaceful after everything that had taken place.

“They are.” He nodded. “I’m looking forward to the next one. Helps that my tutor is kind of a hottie too.”

You scoffed. “So I’ve heard.”

“And, by the way?”

“Yeah?”

“You would look better without it.” He pointed at your dress, a sly smile already sprouting on his lips. “Hope to see it next time.”

“Good night, Jungkook.” You rolled your eyes, already turning around — yeah, like there would ever be a next time.

BAD INFLUENCE COLLECTION

TAGLIST:

@taehyungieskith @fan-ati--c @btstrasht @crazy4myself @sashimi-mochi @ft-multi @kooafraid @dianaaviny @ggukkieland @cryinginmypromdress @kissestothesky

#bts smut #jungkook smut #jungkook #bts #jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #jeon jungkook #bad boy au #smut #reader insert #bts x you #bts x reader #bad boy jungkook #bts au #jungkook au #series #pwp #fluff

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harveywritings92 · 3 years

Text

Bnha dad scenarios: Child default names and background stories.

[Tw: mentions of abortion.]

Dabi's kid/Ayane Name meaning: Kanji (Aya) meaning "Color" and (Ne) meaning sound.

Don't need to tell you that his little Firefly wasn't exactly planned, in fact he was completely blindsided when he found his FWB (now common law wife) was pregnant, he ran away! but, not from her... He disappeared for a couple days then showed up a while later in disguise duffle-bag in hand telling her to hurry and start packing up whatever she can carry; cuz they were leaving! Dabi and your mom relocated to a very small town in the countryside where the population is very small.

(like you could fit the whole township into a Boeing 737 small, and your nearest neighbor was 15 minutes away....)

From there they opened and run a roadhouse bar/motel. Dabi didn't marry his Fairy just because she was pregnant, he caught the feelings a long time ago and had been planning to runaway with her way before Ayane was even a distant thought, her impending arrival just pushed his plans forward. Ayane looks like her mother but her [y/hc] hair has little red streaks and she has partial heterochromia in her eyes, they look like someone colored them cerulean, but remembered halfway through that they were supposed to be y/ec, she also has Dabi's cocky smirk.

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Katsuki's kid/Haruka name meaning: Distant blossom: Uses the Kanji "Haru" in the word "Distant" combined with the kanji "Ka" in "blossom".

Having kids was very distant thought in the back of Katsuki's mind not that he didn't want any, He just thought he wouldn't have any, so then his wife told him that they were having a baby. he was over the moon, he didn't care if it was boy or girl just so long as they were happy and healthy, however as soon as it was confirmed that the the baby in his wife's belly was a girl.

Katsuki went scorched-earth on any boys that went near his little girl and Haruka has him wrapped around her little finger. She's his spoiled princess. Haruka looks like a carbon copy of her mom, but has her dad's temperament and potty mouth, she has partial heterochromia both eyes they're half red-half [y/ec].

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Shigaraki's kid/Kururi name meaning: Black Emerald: "Ku" from the kanji "Black" and "Ruri" meaning "Emerald". (Ngl she was also named after Kurogiri)

He was completely blindsided when he found out his queen was having his child, he didn't know what to do with it, he considered having it "taken care of" but his queen threatened to leave him if he ever suggested that again! he was huffy and pouty during the whole pregnancy.

He was also very protective, usually lingering near by or stalking his wife when she was out and about being careful of in case any heroes or lesser NPCs messed with her, then when the baby was finally born... and he held her for the first time, it was like "Holy crap! I made this...!" and suddenly the world wasn't looking so bleak anymore... and now that his wife is gone (rip) Shigaraki's main focus (as aside villainy) was on his daughter and making the future bright for her.

Kururi though not touch starved she is a bit wary of physical affection, and very socially awkward often preferring to read and or play videogames over socializing with other humans, her only friend seems to be Ayane (their friendship is similar to Orin and April from Parks and rec), They hang out mainly because Shigaraki wanted her have some sense of normality that he was deprived as child. however due to her quirk's nature and the guilt she feels over her mother's death, she has a complex over her hands, she doesn't like it when people try holding them or touching them, often seen wearing gloves or keeping them in her pockets.

Kururi looks like her mom but has a little mole under her chin and has heterochromia her left eye is red while her right [y/ec] and her [y/hc] hair has a single blueish-white streak in it.

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Hawks-Keigo's kid/ Griffin or Finny: as in Griffin the mythical creature.

Keigo and his late wife chose that name because of their respective quirks, His wife had some feline traits cat eyes, and cat ears, it was kind of joke between their two names [Cheshire cat and a Hawk] then they first met, Keigo wasn't really interested in his wife at first, but that didn't stop her! so Keigo said if she could get Endeavor to laugh he'll take her on a date!

So she goes up to Endeavor and says "What happens when a hawk mates with a cat?..." The current number 1 looked at her bemused. "The English call it a Griffin, but I call it a cawk!" Hawks winced It was soo cringy, obscene and made no sense!... But it worked! Endeavor's lips twitched and he snorted! before breaking out in low chuckles, the rest is history.

Though his avian traits seemed to have overrode his wife's feline traits, I.e. {Finny has little red wings on her head instead of cat ears, and Keigo eye brows, However everything else is from his wife. the reality slip quirk {y/hc} hair and {y/eye} etc.

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Kirishima's kid/Akara: Name meaning "Red Lightning" {Aka} meaning Red and [Ra] from the word Rai meaning lightning.

Eijirou and his wife thought they were having a boy so Akara's name was originally going to be Akahito "the red warrior" so when the baby that came out was obviously a girl, he and his wife panicked and couldn't figure out or agree on a new name, until Mina suggest a holding raffle everyone wrote a name down and put it in a hat. and the first name they pulled will be their daughter's name, they pulled out Denki's choice and settled on it and considering Akara's quirk: Hard-charge. it fits pretty well.

(She can harden her skin like her dad. however, with every hit she takes, she can absorb kinetic energy from it, the energy turns into electricity which she can use to deliver powerful electric discharge attacks.)

Her mom is Denki's cousin by the way... Her mom's Quirk is called Static pinch, she can store small amounts of static electricity and release tiny zaps from her thumb index and middle finger, if she gets close enough to an enemy she use the stored energy in her body like a taser via "Vulcan nerve pinch".

Akara looks like her mother but has her dad's sharp teeth.

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Shoto's kid/Koyuki name meaning "Little snow" kanji [Ko] meaning little and [Yuki] meaning snow.

Much like Katsuki children were a very touchy and distant subject for him, He was was always scared that he'll end up just like his father, he was adamant on having no kids, so when his wife announced that she was pregnant and keeping it, Shoto had a panic attack and ran off for a couple days, until she calls Dabi who tracked him down and talked some sense into him...

(after punching him in the face for ditching his pregnant wife.) The his older brother pretty much told Shoto he's letting Enji win running off like that, and reminds him that they're both Endeavor's sons, but they are not their father, and will never be their father, they're better than him... and with that Dabi send his younger brother back his worried wife, Shoto apologizes and is working to prove he's not like his father.

He keeps his daughter away from her grandfather who keeps badgering Shoto for another grandchild as he doesn't see Koyuki's quirk (Frost-breath) taking her anywhere in the future, Shoto has more or less politely told his father to go and pound sand.... as it was very difficult for Shoto's wife to conceive children and her pregnancy and birth was very stressful and traumatic for them, Koyuki was born prematurely and his wife had to stay in the hospital with a severe case of the flu.

Koyuki like Shoto has bi-color hair on the left it's red and on the right it's [y/hc] she has her mom [y/ec] eyes she’s very happy and but timid child and often seen clinging to one of her parent's legs when stranger approaches, though she get's a bit more confident with time.

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Izuku's kid/ Hinamori Name meaning: "sunshine forest" combines the kanji [Hina] for sunshine and the kanji [Mori] for Forest.

Not a surprise when he the number 1 hero's wife started showing a baby-bump a year and a half after their wedding, however what came as a surprise was how protective Izuku became when Reporters and his more eccentric fans didn't know how to keep their boundaries, they would not stop staring at his wife's boobs and trying to touch her belly, Izuku would block their view or slap their hands away and repeat. "Your not my mother or her (Relative.) Don't touch my wife..." he'd discharge his quirk a bit showing that he wasn't kidding around...

The attention seem to blow over once Hinamori was born mainly due to Izuku buying a house in a gated community so the press couldn't get in so easily and bother the new family, Hinamori looks like her mom but she her y/hc hair is wild like Izuku's and she has his freckles, she likes reading and is often found in Izuku's study reading his old hero observation books. and has actually been working on some of her own, as Izuku has found her little dinosaur notebook with observations on Haruka, Koyuki and Akara.

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Denki's kid: Raika name meaning: Lightning flower uses the kanji [Rai] for lightning and the kanji [Ka] from flower.

Raika wasn't exactly planned... See Denki and his little lady were on vacation see? there was this music festival in Niagara-falls, and well...He and his wife had few too many and well details are bit blurred, but... Raika may or may not have been conceived in a handicap stall, but if she ever were to ask everyone's been told to say it was after Denki recued his wife from a villain holding her hostage and Raika was the end result of his reward, luckily she doesn't seem really interested in knowing her parents sexual history.

So there's a good chance shell never know! Raika has her dad's quirk, her hair is y/hc with a yellow/black lighting bolt streaked into it and her y/ec eyes flash yellow when using her quirk.

#bnha fanfiction #bnha dad scenarios #dabi #touya todoroki #todoroki shoto #izuku midoriya #katsuki bakugou #kirishima eijirou #kaminari denki #shigaraki tomura #hawks #keigo takami #bnha x reader #oc children

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dacompanionreactions · 4 years

Note

Oooh, new DA reaction blog! I'm so excited and really liking your writings! Since you have a soft spot for teen!inquisitor, how do you think the DA:I companions would react to a very young herald (4ish-8ish maybe)?

Thank you! And I'm sorry this took so longggg

Cassandra wants to leave then and there. She can't interrogate a child. Everything about the situation is so terribly wrong. After the Herald attempts to seal the rift for the first time, she's by their bedside praying that they will wake up. When Roderick talks about having them sent to Val Royeaux to be tried, she explodes. "You want to send a child, a child, to be tried? Look at them! They're not even nine years old!" From that moment onwards, she assigns herself as the Herald's personal protector.

Varric's heart drops like a stone. He's seen a lot of shit but nothing was worse than seeing the Herald being an eight year old child. He's determined to keep them safe, kind of keeping them under his wing like a mother hen. He'll get into the business of writing children's stories for them. The main character is surrounded by loved ones who support them the whole way through. Varric writes these stories because he wants to show the young Herald that they aren't alone in this, that they have loved ones who care deeply for them. "We're all here for you, kid."

It's been a while since Solas has felt close to anyone, but when he discovers the pain he's inflicted on an eight year old, he is determined to keep them safe. He knows it's foolish to get attached but he can't help himself. Solas sees himself as responsible for mentoring the Herald. If they show signs of being a mage, he teaches them how to control their magic. If they're not a mage, Solas will teach them about the history of Thedas and (in a more simple context of course) the technical aspects of the Fade.

Dorian wants to laugh at first. The Herald of Andraste... an eight year old? His compulsion to laugh is replaced with sadness. When they're sent through time, Dorian fights tooth and nail to keep them safe in Redcliffe. After the time travelling shenanigans, he'll constantly be checking up on the young Herald. No child should have to witness someone die, even if it's in a reality that no longer exists. When he's in a particularly foul mood, he'll curse the Maker for ruining the Herald's childhood.

"Holy shit," Sera says, then realises she's talking to a young kid. "I mean, uh, crap?" She wasn't anticipating the Herald to be young. A child. She was envisioning an eighteen year old maybe, not that this would make her feel any better. Sera doesn't care whether the child is Dwarf, Human, Qunari, Elf, noble or not, her immediate concern is their safety. She'll mercilessly prank the hell out of anyone who dares to badmouth them. On the field, she makes sure every single arrow counts towards the Herald making it home unhurt. On their off days, she gets started on teaching them archery. The lil' Herald is completely under her wing.

Blackwall feels pity for the young soul. He has no doubts they've seen and been through more than the average child. With this in mind, he makes sure not to underestimate them. Mainly, he'll be worried about being a bad influence on them, considering what he's done in the past. Blackwall will also distance himself from the kid at first, hating that he's lying to them, but when he sees them struggling to deal with the demands of just about everyone, he tells them they can always come to him.

Cole understands the pity for the Herald and the anger towards the Maker harboured by other people. Many may think otherwise due to his spirit mind, but he understands. The real Cole was only a child when he starved to death. Cole couldn't do anything for him, save hold his hand, so when he finds the Herald trapped in their own mind, he knows he can do something for them. He knows he can help. And that is precisely what he does, and continues to do for as long as he is able. He's determined that there won't ever be another child, another Cole, left helpless again.

The Iron Bull heard from Krem that the Herald was a kid, but he wasn't expecting them to be so... young. That's when everyone realises Bull is actually great with children, especially the Herald. He calls them 'Imekari' and hoists them up onto his shoulders back at Skyhold. Bull wants to give them a childhood since events at the Conclave stripped them of that. On the field, he will fiercely defend them. Dad Bull is in the house.

Vivienne is shocked at two things. One: that a child has seen and been through so much. Two: that they have accomplished so much at their age. Frankly, it's damned impressive. Vivienne assigns herself as a mentor to the Herald, but she makes sure to let them know they can talk to her about matters outside the Inquisition. She will always check up on them, especially after battles. Vivienne will also book trips away to give the poor Herald a break from, well, everything.

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hasquetzorkukudoneanythingwrong · 3 years

Text

The kids pt 2

BB: we're back all you weirdos that enjoy senpai's blog! Here again to show you the kiddos with this convoluted lore dump of post Chaldea life for senpai and his family!

Mari: please, stop talking in such a stupid way...

BB, ignoring her: a lots happen since the last time we did this! We even learned where lovely lil Maria's name came from. And daaaaww, wasn't that a sweet story?

Ed: BB, can we please get started? Sis is eyeing that water bottle and I'm afraid of what she'll do with it and our computer if you don't hurry.

BB: fine fine! Dang Mari you are just no fun huh? Anyways, just like before we're discussing the others who got a second chance at life and how they're viewed through the eyes of these two! So who first? How about, my lil darlings! The first 3 members of the Sakura 5!

Mari: why only the first 3?

BB: spoilers!

Mari: stupid. Well we've seen that Melt became a famous ice skating performer. We don't see her much but the few times we do it's pretty nice.

Ed: sometimes she acts like a big shot celebrity out in the open, but she seems more humble around us.

BB: yeah, that's melty for ya. I gave her a good amount of tsun! Have you seen the picture of her before this tho?

Mari: yeah... pretty weird. Why did you give her huge blades for legs and no hands?

BB: I guess it's just a part of my twisted lil personality!

Ed: and you wonder why Mom wants you gone from our computers.

Mari: and Lip seems happy, she's found love with someone, and her partner seems to truly love her. So that's nice.

Ed: and she's changed even more from before. No huge metal claws and a slimmer body.

Mari: again, wtf BB?

BB: pls stop asking me questions.

Ed: and Protea is also happily in a more normal body then before. But for her it was just too big.

Mari: she still acts like a Kaiju sometimes.

BB: yes, those three are in such happy lives. As their mother I'm so happy for them.

Mari: stop lying or I'm pouring root beer all over the computer.

BB: do not! Moving devices is a pain in the ass!

BB: *sigh* anyways, whose next? Hmmm... what about lil miss Gorgon?

Mari: we don't see her much, the only times we do she's forcefully dragged by mom and her friends.

Ed: and she's always hiding her face and such. She has self esteem issues for some reason.

BB: yeah, and those reasons are called "Stheno" and "Euryale"

Mari: such shitty sisters. Where do they get off messing with 'Dusa about her height?

BB: who knows?

Ed: she isn't even that tall... mom's taller and she's never self conscious.

BB: have you not heard the heaps of praise your father gives her about that?! It's so much I get sick hearing it!

Mari: oh be quiet! What I wouldn't give to have such a beautiful relationship!

Ed: woah! This is the first time hearing you say something like that!

Mari: ...well yeah... when I was young I kinda did that silly kid thing of being grossed out by their affection. It was so much I honestly thought they overdid it in front of us just to mess with us. But growing up... and seeing them still like that and the old videos from Chaldea and how everyone else talks about them... that's real genuine love! I hope one day to find a partner like that.

Ed: yeah, I'm so happy we were born into a genuinely loving family! Sometimes I hear stories of kids born because their parents thought it'd save their relatives, when they should've gone to therapy or something instead!

BB: this conversations nice and all but can we get back on topic? It's almost time for you to walk the lil mutts.

Mari: right... now who?

BB: well speaking of mutts, what about that lil dog Lobo?

Ed: lil!? He's huge! Biggest wolf I've ever seen!

Mari: and they said he was bigger back in chaldea too! Like holy crap!

BB: yeah, he got huge.

Mari: now he's at this wolf sanctuary and seems to be fine with humans now.

Ed: yeah, and he's found a nice mate again. White just like La Blanca!

Mari: you think he used his grail wish to be reunited with her? And she's the same wolf?

BB: why wouldn't that be cute? Anyways, let's do one last servant. Hmmm... actually! Why don't you talk about your dear 'ol mother?

Mari: mom? OK, I guess technically that'd fit.

Ed: well after she reincarnated she became a famous luchadora! She was an unstoppable force in the ring!

Mari: yeah, she was unbeatable! Never suffering a single defeat for her whole career!

BB: buuuuut! She retired! Care to say why?

Ed: well... after she became pregnant with us... she had to leave the ring.

Mari: and... the responsibility of taking care of us didn't allow for time to return to fighting... so she hasn't come back since.

BB: yeah, that's the thing about childcare, it can get in the way of other things.

???: BB, you better not be messing with the children!

Mari: oh hey mom!

Ed: what's going on?

Quetz: it's time to walk the dogs, come on your father's already outside!

Mari: crap! Sorry!

Ed: we're going now!

After the kids went out, Quetz had more words for the ai.

Quetz: you just can't help but try to mess around huh?!

BB: all I did was tell the truth! Can't control their reactions!

Quetz: do this again and I'm burning every device you've been in! I don't care if we lose some data, you're gone if you go too far!

BB: fine! Don't need to take it that far!

Quetz: this is you were dealing with here

Rex, from outside: mi corazon! Come on!

Quetz: coming!

Quetz then goes outside to join the family

A/N: more of the kiddos. Along with what Quetz got up to in between this and Chaldea. BB can get a bit too Mischievous at times.

Tags

@hasereshdoneanythingwrong @hasishtardoneanythingwrong @haspaulbunyandoneanythingwrong @haskamadoneanythingwrong @hasbbdoneanythingwrong @hasnightingaledoneanythingwrong @hasabbydoneanythingwrong @hasspartacusdoneanythingwrong @nureenarts @kierakaz @valiantstrawberrymilk

#fate grand order #quetzalcoatl #wife #rexcoatl #rex #mastersona #maria #eduardo #bb

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mstow · 3 years

Text

WF4.1.

Part One: The Day the Markets stood still…

Published at M.Stow11.Wordpress.com

1. She.

‘It is like living in a rabbit hutch’ She often said emphatically and metaphorically, and He replied with

a shrug, nothing to say in reply. It was; and it would take long enough to pay for. Four rooms. Eight-floors up,

eight flights of long turning concrete rubbish chute and stairs, and fire escape, for when the elevators did not

function anyway, which was often and took days sometimes to repair. A balcony open passageway at the front,

looking over the street below, now starting to become busy with traffic. They had lived with his parents for a

time, and then after they were married, in a small rented flat in The City, before they needed to afford

somewhere to live together, and to bring-up their two small children.

Both saved, and with some financial help from a relative (deceased) they had managed to get this

place. When the housing market was ‘buoyant’, and mortgages easy to get. The Home was bought with a loan, a promissory note, deposited and co-lateraled together with their combined lives and the home itself. They were

afloat.

Both worked to pay-off the loan, which although it was supposed to re-duce each year did not seem ever to keep up with pay and prices. The loan would anyway be paid-off many times over if they were ever to pay off the debt.

If this place was ever to become their own owned nothing to pay-back; then, if they managed to keep paying-off the loan for the ‘Shelter from the Storm’ as they called Home.

That they did not actuarily now own, and may not ever, actually own, lose-lose. To sell-back at Market Price, the difference between the paid-back buying-price and selling-price, and of which they would have lost completely to The Bank…The Mortgage Company.

TheirHome-Mortgage@rent no(t)()-insurancetheir assured-pension against dire-poverty and homelessness.

No social-recourse and be homeless, to parents and over-crowding again, or with friends similarly fixed, sofa-surfing their home, such as-it-was de-faulted, re-possessed. A two-bedroom apartment, she thought of: kitchen, lounge, shower-bathroom toilet and tiny balcony onto the world below, between them and the sky above. Each day, each month, and each successive year into the unthinkable future; two-thirds of two-lifetimes at least, two-thirds every month of what they were both paid-in wages-for-work earned.

She did the household accounts, and she knew.

The Home. The Loan. Would have been paid for several times over by the time if ever it became theirs

and The Childrens’; and perhaps even their Grandchildrens’ by the time the shared-property many-floored building was un-inhabitable, de-molished land let-again, built-on freehold not-leasehold extended for-bonus payment un-earned…re-build in the new style, in a traditional place, or otherwise breaking into farmland and ocean beyond.

But that is the nature of the human animal, is it no? To do over, and be done-over to again and again she thought: want more and more, for less and less and in the quiet mind wandering moment of pillared door, a room, a table, a bed let go and a bed sheet left behind ready to be buried with perhaps as they did in the olden- times shrouded as now by thin curtains pulled-back.

Each-Day: like a two-step forward and quick-step fox trot later backwards one-step…

Home and Away worked to pay-off the loan on the house and to pay for and cook food, with bills and

extras, clothes, and nights-out occasionally.

Maybe once a month, or not at all.

Then He had been laid-off work at The Bakery.

Three-day-week and three day’s wages.

The Home mortgage was re-negotiated and they continued struggling to pay-off the loan and other

loans, credited and directly debited debt from what they both earned together.

There was never an issue of who would earn more, and be the main breadwinner, they both earned

more or less the same low wages as most the people who worked and they would do the most caring, of each other, and the children: the unpaid responsibilities shared around the home, and in the world of work.

Shopping and holidays and other friends and family out there. All indebted, or in credit day2day.

Week to week, month to next month, years, minute-by-minute.

They were equal, without even having to think about it or confront societies and others’ false

expectations of gender and families. They were equal in debt and credit, and supported each other’s frail and fragile egos with a natural equanimity respectful and loving…

Each contributing their best and differently, in-differently to make the whole, whole.

It’s not all doom and gloom She did often think, and he tried not to think on it. The homily homely

claustrophobia only had to be relieved by going out. To the cinema, to a bar or restaurant. But that was not very often de-finitely now there were children as well.

Sel-dom. did extras make their mark, clothes bought carefully a piece at a time, re-placement rather

than extravagance. The cupboards filled with groceries and emptied by the time the next weeks shopping is

needed and the next week’s earnings…already spent.

She was awake, first this morning, and she got up from the bed on which he still lay awake but not yet awake enough to leave its’ nigh-time warmth. She went through to the next room. The bedroom led across the narrow-passage to the living room, which led directly to the tiny gallery kitchen and balcony on one side and door to the front room, on the other side balcony corridor and more doors along.

Except it wasn’t the front-room, exactly; only, unlike the ‘front-room’ of her childhood playing on the

street and door directly to the rugged ragged matted smell of cooking from the stone wall white-washed country kitchen.

Upstairs two bed-rooms and on the gallery landing for the children and a closet room to flush away with a basin of water from the kitchen sink-tap and toilet-well into the slurry sump, where you could hear it ‘slurry’ all the way down, filtered to spray on fields all around; and then back downstairs to replace the water from the kitchen-tap and outside clean-well.

Pumped-up from the well, refilling the fired china clay bowl for washing and zinc-metal bucket, ready

for the next use.

Log grabbing toughened steel plasma-cutters hydraulic-ram chassis panel welded together. Expertly Put-together giant wheels axle brake.

Pumping-oil to cool the engines’ turbo diesel s-carbed grapple telescopic arms the claw car-crusher

mattress-shredder then the skid-board tracking carbon-fibre e-road automobiles solar panels settled wind farming blades and wave-machines generating heat&power and swimming in clean-air&water:

> Low-No: installation& maintenance-cost yr/yr.

Apparently, free.

At her first childhood home, bed-time children first, then the adults. Rats nested runs, beetles and

cockroaches were kept away by the domesticated cats and dogs that shared the yard and house with horses at the local stables for the carts and filed machinery; to ride, at week-end day-off, and many Holy Days.

Each week, several times into the market town for food supplies, and the children’s treats.

Their whole world a Living Market Place, of Work Trust and Play.

Now, great enclosed parked superstores and supermarkets and factory outlet warehouse. Where goods

are now transported she thought of: to&fro and by foot and horses’ hoofs carried and motor vehicle, train and massive tanker and container-ship electric like cutting through the air or the hydrogen&helium of outer-space a one-metre flight through nothingness baited

> One-click:Low-No-cost subscription no-way out…

< N/nnn…paid-up…again&again.

From the docks and airport, at the city harbour hub humming away, remote yet directing everyday life, everywhere.

Exorbitant-Political

Business-Trips

Media: Holiday Passengers, and Freight Cargo.

The affordable flight, to get-away from-it-all: a change; a charge necessary move, once in a while, and

not at-all.

Every year; but, to visit family here and there and elsewhere, or else you’d go stir-crazy.

Do a night-time flit, flip! leave the rent, the mortgage, un-paid.

Only, to otherwise keep on fighting for the bargains: cheap-est with-in budget, to get through to the

Next-day and the day-after-that.

When debts and fines could not be paid, the debt collector.

Bailiffs, The-Auctioneer: selling- off of the personal possessions; sometimes, on the Global Markets;

and then sold-out: the personal; and, T.V. public…

The laptop computer on-sleep and awakened, opened, placed on the table, booted-up and She blogged

instantaneously her-thoughts:

#We all need a roof over our heads…and to: put Food on the Table! without any other word or contextual continuity that did not remain obvious to this early morning.

Everyone, and anyone in the same and similar circumstances getting the same hastily tapped-out

messages excluding, those without tablet, home or food; and those with patently far too-much.

Those who had an Administration to do that for them and her-thought continued in the context of the

mindful moment and that which we all have to pay extortionately for over and again even when the food is eaten and the crap washed away there remains a nasty stain, a nasty taste.

Original wages sweated over day upon day, and loans ever in negative equity to who?

Them!

Income-Tax&Corporation-Tax paid/un-paid through government-deal(s):

Extortionate debt-interest credit-profit and volatile prices, losses on last-accounts records ever higher BINGO! and pay…ex-terminating…prices collapsed…looking up, and down again now, not in dejection, but circumspection against ever apparent possible failure, with desperate optimism, toward un-realistic perfectionism.

Only mechanized buffer-traffic building-up as soon as into a busy rush-hour congestion be-low… Cars and buses, bicycles, motorbike and motorized delivery truck from here, only another view.

From

two-sides; and every side… the bedrooms along the passage corridor, the sleeping children slept, earlier peekedinto soundless in beautiful dream or dreamless seemingly startling worrying death-checked for breathing.

Crossing from night into daytime TV remotely automatically turned on, confirmation, that

life goes on…

The living-room she entered bore all the chatter and the silence of one who listens.

Still and safe, cosy and secure. The other rooms took over the emotions and needs: sleep and food, love and arguments. The central room, the central chamber, looked on and awaited eventual, almost inevitable, but never certain re-conciliation, and rest. Indulged-in social-(e) vents, noisy chatter and quiet evenings indoors. The furniture was adequate and filled the room. Table, chairs, television, a drawer and shelved cabinet standing against a wall, displaying various special icons; plastic flowers family photographs in frames, a portrait of a film star, or a print of a famous oil painting.

Ornaments, statuettes, figures of worship and of novelty. The furniture, the infrastructure, from the

livelihoods and eventually the roof over our heads…’in over our heads’ heard as if originally spoken.

There were unopened envelopes and cajoling leaflet advertisement:

Kill your debts! Die debts!

she thought of letters and bills for payment, propped up behind a ticking clock. There was a picture postcard from someone-else’s holiday forming a picturesque frontage to hide the stack of demands for reply and payment which lay beyond.

She-drewback the curtains and looked out of the window across the balcony, with its unflowering

plants growing in flower-pots. There was a real still rising mistinessoutside from the early morning warming; and she gazed over an area where many lived, and it seemed to her, this morning, where they too just only lived

-out their lives: day to day, week to week, minute-to-minute…

They too thought to-themselves as she looked-out onto the dawn of a gradually opening new day that

the world must have always been this way.

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fizzingwizard · 4 years

Text

Busy weekend so I saw the ep late! Still gonna do a write up.

Episode 14 was a blast. Literally and figuratively xD

This is more or less what I expected from team Taichi/Koushirou/Mimi! It was amusing and cool at the same time. So that was good to see after such little focus on the children themselves in episode 12!

Although it was a Koushirou ep... I sure capped a lot of Togemon moments.

Bahahaha.

More under the cut!

It's another sandwich episode, with the meat of the story coming between slices of silliness thanks to Yamato and Jou. I am in STITCHES. Garrulous Jou getting on Yamato's last nerve is exactly the way I want them to be characterized xD It brings back fond memories of that one Digimon restaurant ep in 99 Adventure.

Gabumon: You’re being rude.

Yamato: Do you want to talk to him?

Gabumon: ... No...

Jou talks to Yamato. Yamato ignores. Jou continues talking to Yamato. Yamato realizes... he doesn’t need to answer... he just needs to exist. Jou’s the type who will happily have a conversation with a brick wall, it’s his stress relief

Jou compares his partner to a hammock.

Ikkakumon responds with sick burn.

Like seriously, both portions of this group were about the others managing Jou. Or, most of the others managing Jou, while Yamato ignores him completely bahahahahahahaha

Meanwhile, on the other route, Koushirou’s tablet is on the fritz again. Very inconvenient, but fortunately they’ve got the ever practical Taichi around.

Taichi casually flips his digivice in one hand while recommending that they be careful to stay together in case the interference prevents them from communicating electronically. He’s smart. He’s chill. Koushirou is SO UNCOMFORTABLE

They find some crystals that are like fun house mirrors and then they’re attacked by Unknown Digimon. Koushirou becomes Even More Uncomfortable when he can’t analyze them. At which point...

... Tentomon swoops in “THAT’S KUWAGAMON!!!” He seems really happy to get to serve his old role of Guy Who Knows Shit. I would love a rivalry between Tentomon and Koushirou’s computer, trying to see who can come up with information faster :P A rivalry Koushirou won’t even notice for a while

Tentomon: Hello, I’m right here, your partner, a wealth of knowledge of the world that I you know LIVE IN...

Kabuterimon sounds like your yakuza grandpa more than ever this ep. Sakurai Takahiro is having the time of his life I swear.

For that matter... so is Yamada Kinoko x’D I’ve never seen this attack from Togemon before

The Kuwagamon have a leader... Ohkuwamon, who is just Kuwagamon but larger and in grayscale.

Taichi comes up with a brilliant plan of action.

Aaaand Mimi reinterprets it for the laypeople bahahahaha

Strategist Taichi is my favorite Taichi, but Mimi Having None Of It and keeping him in line is fantastic. Mimi has a bunch of great moments this ep too

Predictably, they get blown up and separated in the process of running away...

Communication’s pretty much out too. Koushirou becomes more and more agitated and feels useless without being able to use his computer to think of a plan.

MY HEART

Taichi and Mimi reunite pretty fast, and Mimi can’t help voicing her loathing for Kuwagamon. Which alerts the bugs to their location. Taichi is annoyed. Mimi is sorry but not really

ugh I love these two

Like I said, Kabuterimon is the MVP this ep... never tiring, always encouraging, and hilarious. I’d like to shake Sakurai’s hand for this episode alone

Since his tablet’s useless, Koushirou decides to use it as a shield. X’D He’s one step away from Sailor Mercury here...

Koushirou: My computer is my god and I’ve been forsaken!!!!

Kabuterimon can’t take any more of his partner undervaluing his worth. “You do have something invaluable...”

“... oh, and your knowledge! I mean, your whole self! Because a person’s worth does not come from how useful they are to others of course!”

For all that self-doubt, Koushirou sure does snap out of it quick once Kabuterimon points out that he’s not a mindless zombie without his computer. Digimon are personal therapists, this is not news

I think I capped this because it just amuses me how different this pair are from each other and how it totally works anyway. If Kabuterimon were transformed into a human, he’d be an old, sinewy, kung fu master type, probably covered in scars, and always found slurping ramen and cracking terrible jokes at random school kids. He has the ability to instill Koushirou with confidence. I mean, if that sort of guy showed up telling YOU you’re super smart and awesome, you’d feel pretty good about yourself too am I right???

Shocker of shockers, Koushirou using his head results in AtlurKabuterimon, who is very shiny. Even shinier than WereGarurumon

Togemon just zips by

I find it amusing that Koushirou’s big play is pretty much the same as his plan in Digimon Tri: Soushitsu. A little different but same basic concept. I’m also disappointed in myself for not anticipating it when these mirror things showed up at the start of the ep.

I heart Mimi

Togemon: GRRHRHRHRHRHRHRHGGGG

What even is Yamada Kinoko... she’s having way too much fun... I might become a Koumi fan simply to have Tentomon and Palmon be hilarious together all the time

Koushirou: LIGHT ME UP BABY I AM ON FIRE

AtlurKabuterimon’s super attack is definitely compensating for something >_>

He finally takes out Ohkuwamon and the day is saved. Koushirou and Tentomon give each other a high five and it is adorabibble.

The producers of this show are totally aware that we fans are keeping track of how many times Taichi says this about Koushirou. They are so doing it on purpose.

back in the other group...

Jou didn’t shut up till he fell asleep.

I have no doubts in my mind that Yamato spent the whole time facing this way, away from the group, and never so much as said “hmm” in response to anything Jou said. Holy crap.

THEN YAMATO FINALLY GETS ON IKKAKUMON I”M FGHJHRUGJKFGFC;FDF”DFG

ugh this is my new favorite episode bahahahaha

Next week we get Zudomon and it looks like the team continues to be split in two a little bit longer. Psyched for Jou ep! I need soooo much more Yamato barely tolerating Jou... omg. I didn’t even know I was starving for this but I am

Then we get a new ending and it’s fabulous! I love the lyrics and the music and the art. But most of all...

... we gets a Takeru!! This is a sign I swear. We’ll be seeing Takeru very soon. My theory is that they’re going to find Patamon locked up at the site of the Holy Digimon because Devimon knows he’ll be instrumental in his defeat. Ahh I can’t wait to see how this plays out.

I give this ep 8/10!!

#digimon adventure 2020 #digimon adventure:#digimon adventure reboot #digi spoilers #digimon #fizz watches digimon 2020

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wordsysayswords · 4 years

Link

Someone needs to put down a wet floor sign because Tucker’s pretty sure his heart has melted into a puddle around his shoes.

Or, Tucker gets to see Wash interact with children, including Junior, for the first time ever and, to quote Grif, he's so fucked.

Merry Christmas @washingtubb! I hope you enjoyed this fluffy Blue Team bonding with just a pinch of Tuckington thrown in for good measure. Thanks for being so patient with this fic getting posted. @redvsbluesecretsanta

“Have you guys seen Junior?” Tucker asks, poking his head into the common room.

Carolina, who is sat perfectly still on the couch and in the process of having her long hair braided by three children, glances Tucker’s way without turning her head.

“He was with Caboose’s group earlier,” she says, blowing a stray strand of hair out of her face. “In the mess hall.”

“Yeah, apparently they got told to leave because Grif tried to organize the kids into storming the kitchen. The things that guy will do for chocolate pudding.”

“BLARG!” Cries one of the twin Sangheili infants in Carolina’s lap. She rubs the alien’s back soothingly and raises an eyebrow at Tucker in a silent question.

“She’s ready for a nap,” Tucker translates.

There haven’t been a whole lot of opportunities for Tucker to exercise his Sangheili conversation skills on Chorus. That all changed two days ago when a ship full of Sangheili and human refugees landed, fleeing their own war-ravaged planet halfway across the galaxy. They had received Epsilon’s message and come seeking help because the reported conditions on their planet made Chorus seem like an idyllic paradise. Among the refugees were an almost comical number of children, outnumbering the adults six to one. The situation became a lot less funny when you realized 80 percent of the children were orphans.

“Here,” Tucker says, pulling out his datapad and selecting a playlist of classic Sangheili nursery rhymes. “They’ll recognize these. Puts ‘em right to sleep. You’ll have the songs stuck in your head for days, though.”

“Thanks for the warning.” Carolina gives a crooked smile as she accepts the datapad. “Can’t be worse than the crap Wash listens to.”

“Speaking of Wash, any idea where he’s hiding?”

Carolina cocks her head—as much as she can considering one of the aliens curled up against her shoulder is batting at her braid like a particularly curious cat. The kids finish up on her hair, and a little boy passes Carolina a pink hand mirror. Tucker bites his lip to keep from laughing as the Freelancer turns her head this way and that, inspecting the no less than eight messy braids sticking off her head at ridiculous angles.

“Looks great,” Carolina whispers, causing the kids to giggle and blush.

She turns her attention back to Tucker. “What makes you think Wash is hiding?”

“I don’t know, have you seen what it’s like out there?” Tucker asks, gesturing towards a window overlooking the track where groups of kids are playing frisbee or jumping rope, supervised by the lieutenants. “I’m having trouble keeping up, and I’m a dad!”

“Eh,” Carolina shrugs, “you’d be surprised.” She looks around at the cluster of children, “Do you remember our deal?”

The kids nod excitedly.

“If we take a nap, you’ll show us how to punch good!” A girl with wilting daisies woven into her hair punches the air, beaming.

Carolina raises an eyebrow. “And the rule?”

“Only in s-self, um,” lisps the boy missing his two front teeth, “s-self defenssse!”

“That’s right,” Carolina says, tapping the datapad. Plucky music starts to play as the kids curl up on the couch. She looks over at Tucker.

“Try the barracks,” she tells him. “They might have gone to get Caboose’s crayons and coloring books.”

“Thanks,” Tucker says, tossing a salute her way as he backs out the door. “Let me know if you need another teacher for punching class.”

“Sure thing. Watch out for—”

“HONK BLARG!”

A dark shape shoots out from under the couch and latches on to Tucker’s leg before he has time to blink.

“Holy fu—” Tucker catches himself. “Fudgsicles. Holy fudgsicles. Definitely what I was going to say. Right, little buddy?”

The small Sangheili wrapped around his leg hoots happily and starts gnawing on his boot laces.

“I think she’s teething,” Carolina explains. “Her brother is with Caboose’s group. Mind taking her with you?”

“No problem,” Tucker says, lifting his foot to get a better look at the alien. “And what’s your name, champ?”

“Firo 'Srattin,” yawns the little girl draped over Carolina’s shoulder.

“Strattin,” muses Tucker. “Good, strong clan name. Well, come on, Firo. Let’s go find your brother.”

“Say goodbye to Captain Tucker,” Carolina tells the children. A chorus of honks and goodbyes follows the teal soldier out of the room.

In the hall, Tucker looks down at his passenger. She’s given up on his laces and is now digging through his cargo pants pocket looking for snacks.

“All right,” Tucker says. “Which way should we try first, hm?”

Firo sniffs the air for a moment before pointing down the hall. “BLARG!”

“The barracks? Good choice. Let’s roll out, soldier.”

It ends up being a long walk to the barracks—and not just because Tucker has a honking deadweight wrapped around one leg.

Passing the empty lot behind the mess hall, he and Firo walk past the Reds organizing a game of football for the kids, and the pair promptly get roped into playing referees. They leave at halftime while Donut’s group of kids performs an impromptu cheerleading routine (The man’s created surprisingly passable pompoms out of old caution tape).

Despite the rest of the base swarming with children, the barracks are oddly quiet.

“I could’ve sworn they’d be here,” Tucker tells Firo after checking Caboose’s room and finding it empty.

“BLARG,” she agrees around a mouthful of a granola bar—wrapper included.

“I mean, I guess we could check bomb disposal range. Maybe they’re playing fetch with Freckles?”

“BLARG?”

“No, fetch with Freckles basically involves vaporizing tennis balls straight out of the sky. So, there’s no real ‘fetching’ happening.”

“BLARG CHONK.”

“I know, right? That’s what I said!”

“CHONKA CHONKA.”

“Watch the language!” Tucker chides. “I don’t want the parents thinking I taught you that.”

Just then, Firo perks up, her large grey snout sniffing the air intently.

Tucker stops walking. “What is it? Did you get their scent aga—whoa, hold up!”

In the blink of an eye, Firo lets go of Tucker’s leg and tears off down the hall.

“Hey, hey, hey!” Tucker calls, sprinting after her. “Firo 'Srattin, get back here! If you had a middle name, you bet I’d be using it right now!”

Firo only stops long enough to stick her tongue out at the sim trooper before racing away down another corridor.

“Why you little,” Tucker mutters to himself and looks up at the ceiling. “Mom, if this is what I was like as a kid, I am so sorry. Firo!”

Tucker skids around a corner just in time to see Firo squeeze through an ajar door and disappear inside.

“Oh fuck,” Tucker groans, picking up speed. He hisses. “Firo! Get out here! That’s somebody’s room, and they don’t want to wake up to an alien chewing on their socks!”

The maze of two-person bunk rooms all looks the same to Tucker, so he’s halfway up the hall before he realizes the alien just escaped into his room. His and Wash’s room.

“Damn it,” Tucker mumbles, screeching to a halt outside the door, a hesitant hand on the handle.

Okay, okay. No need to panic. Maybe Firo hasn’t turned any of Wash’s meager possessions into chew toys yet. The Freelancer isn’t one for trinkets or homely touches. If it wasn’t for Tucker, the man would still be living out of his footlocker rather than the closet and chest of drawers available to him. But that means any nonessential items Wash does keep around are all the more meaningful. Like Caboose’s messy drawings or the ugly-ass cat figurine that Tucker carved him out of a bar of soap (“No, no, Tucker, I appreciate the gift. It’s a cute giraffe.” “It’s supposed to be a cat!” “Uh, cat. Right. That’s what I said.”)

“Alright, whose turn is it to turn the page?”

Tucker freezes. Fucking of course Wash is hiding out in the desolate barracks while the base is swarming with children. Tucker’s never seen him interact with someone younger than the lieutenants outside of a military setting. You don’t exactly see a whole lot of kindergarteners toddling around an active military base (Caboose doesn’t count). Long story short, Tucker has been putting off even introducing him to Junior because everything about Wash; his anxiety, his control-freak nature, his stickler-for-the-rules attitude; screams that he and children do not mix.

So who the hell is Wash talking to?

“BLARG!” A high-pitched Sangheili voice shouts.

Tucker’s brow furrows. He’s just about to push the door open when someone else speaks up.

“It’s Ure’s turn,” a young voice translates.

“Alright, Ure, you can do the honors,” Wash says. “Careful this time.”

Tucker hears the sound of a page being turned.

“Great, where were we? Right,” Wash clears his throat. “The BR55HB Service Rifle entered service in 2548 and is employed as a medium-to-long-range marksman rifle.”

The fuck?

“Though its barrel is longer than that of the BR55, the weapon performs almost identically to its predecessor,” Wash continues. “The magazine housing is built directly into the underside of the stock of the rifle and is located behind the grip. And look, here’s a picture.”

That’s it; Tucker can’t stop himself from sneaking a peek around the door.

Wash is sat on the floor, leaning back against his cot. And around him are no less than twelve children and young Sangheili, cuddled up against him, hanging off his arms, sprawled across his lap, and peering over his shoulders at the yellowed paper gun manual in his hands. After turning the book for everyone to see the battle rifle diagram, Wash goes back to reading,

“Though the BR55HB SR is a select-fire weapon, it is most often used in its three-round burst mode.”

“This is my favorite part,” whispers Caboose to the three kids comfortably sharing his lap.

“Despite firing a very powerful cartridge, the weapon is subject to little recoil, even when being fired automatically.”

Curled up in the arms of one of the Sangheili is Firo, happily sucking on her brother’s shirt as she listens to Wash read with rapt attention, along with the rest of the children. Huddled up among them sits Junior, head resting in his hands as he drowsily listens with a content smile on his face.

Someone needs to put down a wet floor sign because Tucker’s pretty sure his heart has melted into a puddle around his shoes.

“Whose turn is it to turn the page now?” Wash asks, and a tiny boy pulls his thumb out of his mouth just long enough to raise his hand.

Wash smiles, and it’s so warm and natural Tucker momentarily forgets how to breathe. “Want some help?”

Thumb back in his mouth, the boy nods, and the Freelancer helps him turn the page with his free, chubby little hand.

“Great job. Now, it fires M634 X-HP-SAP round from a 36-round magazine, which fits flush in the receiver...”

Suddenly, Grif is there next to Tucker, whispering. “You’re so fucked, dude.”

Tucker startles so hard he stumbles face-first into the door. He turns to glare at Grif who disappears into his own room next door with a little wave. Tucker turns back around to find he’s accidentally pushed the door open and the entire room staring at him.

“I, uh, just...Firo!” Tucker recovers quickly. “There you are! I’ve been, ah, looking everywhere for you. Yeah.” Hell yeah. Fucking smooth. Definitely doesn’t sound like you’ve been creeping outside the door.

Wash has gone bright red. “I, uh. There aren’t any, er, kids books on base,” he stammers and starts to stand up. “They kept asking to read this one cause it has pictures. It’s stupid, I kno—”

“What happens next?”

“I—” Wash stops. His brow furrows. “What happens what?”

“What happens next?” Tucker asks again, coming to sit cross-legged on the floor beside Junior. “Dude, you can’t leave us in suspense. I gotta know who lives happily ever after, right guys?” He winks at the kids who giggle. Junior slings a massive arm around his father’s shoulders and pulls him close.

Wash just sits there, ears and cheeks still tinged with red. “You’re sure?” he asks, narrowing his eyes in the way he does when he’s trying to figure out if Tucker’s fucking with him or not.

Tucker settled in, leaning back against his son. “Just read the story, dude,” he says, grinning.

Wash flips the manual open, laughing under his breath. “Okay then,” he concedes. “Section 1.4 Service History. The introduction of the BR55HB SR led to an immediate increase in the BR55's popularity, prompting all branches of the UNSC Armed Forces, except the Army, to replace the M392 with the newer weapon...”

#rvb #red vs blue #lavernius tucker #agent washington #agent carolina #blue team #junior #michael j caboose #fanfic #fan fic #fanfiction #fan fiction #wordsywriteswords #wordsy writes words #rvb secret santa #red vs blue secret santa

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tempist-flower · 3 years

Text

Second Chances ch 4- Growing Up

If you guys couldn’t tell by now, this is one of those reborn into your favorite game type of scenarios. I don’t have many chapters out yet so I’m posting what I do have out now.

This couldn't be the Zack I thought it was could it? There's no way it was the Zack I thought it was. It was just a common name, it was back in my old world. I mean, just because he had unruly black hair and blue eyes didn't mean he was the Zack I was thinking of. It could only be some type of coincidence. Yeah, I already figured that I somehow ended up in the world of Final Fantasy

Besides, I was never the type who thought babies looked like anything besides tiny humans. On the slim chance this was the Zack I was thinking of, I probably wouldn't even recognize him until he was older anyway.

~9 months old~

Zack Fair. It really was Zack Fair. After a couple of weeks I finally came to this realization after Mr. Fair came home. When my new father came home he called him by name I admit he was pretty cute as a baby. It's only been two months since his mom started babysitting me. She stayed at home to take care of Baby Zack while her husband worked. She also offered to watch me while my parents went to work. It took the whole first month just to get over the initial shock. Partially because holy crap was he cute. Baby Zack was clingy and had his signature puppy like personality at a early age.

Whenever my parents dropped me off on their way to work they actually stayed longer just to watch Zack's reaction to seeing me. He was always smiling and happy to see me, even though I hadn't really warmed up to him yet. He reminded me of those always happy and giggling babies that would be in TV commercials. I don't know if they even have commercials like that, but if they did he would be perfect for the role.

~1 year old~

I finally turned one year old. I could walk, a bit shakily and start making sounds on my own. Eventually these small sounds became small words. My parents and the occasional friend of theirs I met often commented on how what I should be doing at my age and how far ahead I seemed. Having gone through all this already, I was ready to get it all over with as soon as possible. My eagerness to get this whole growing up thing over with would turn out to be a bad thing later.

My parents threw a small party for me on my birthday. The only ones invited where Baby Zack and his parents. Plus two of Xander's friends so he wouldn't be bored. Zack was the only other child I was even slightly comfortable being around, and my parents learned that pretty quickly. Speaking of learning, Zack was only two months older then I was.

~2 years old~

I could form actual words at this point. Walking and feeding myself almost came naturally to me, most likely because I had done this before. I started learning my alphabet and how to count. Not to mention nursery rhymes, which I was surprised to find they had in this world. They weren't too different from the ones I grew up with. My parents were surprised that I got the hang of everything so quickly. I knew it wasn't normal for my age, and tried to tone it down a bit before they started thinking of me as a little genius or something. At this age my parents almost expected me to be a little monster, but to their surprise I wasn't.

My life wasn't very interesting, being only two there was literally nothing I could do be sleep, eat, and play. I was a pretty quite little kid that kept to themselves. I didn't care much for the toys they showed me. It was around this time they realized I could read, they just didn't know by how much. They would try to read me bedtime stories at night, but one evening my new dad caught me with a book in my lap. It was a basic children's book about a lost baby chocobo, that had left me so distracted I didn't even know he was watching me. It was after this the kid gloves started to come off.

In the morning my parents would take me to Zack's to be watched while they worked. Zack's mother turned out to be a teacher who occasionally taught out of her home. Turns out homeschooling was a very common thing around here. The small town of Gongaga had only one school that taught for all ages. Zack and I wouldn't be attending until we turned 5. Until then his mother took care of us with teaching the basic things we should be learning at our current age level. There were three other kids that she also took care of, but I paid little attention to them. Zack was the only exception. That kid was just too darn cute.

I was sure my parents told her about how quick I was able to pick up on things. While she watched the other kids I was usually left to myself. Since I could walk fine on my own and sort of feed myself she didn't spend a whole lot of time hovering over me. The first time she caught me reading a book on my own, she started giving me a small pile to read on my own. When she realized just how aware I was of my surroundings she dropped the baby talk entirely. I don't know if she thought my independence at such a young as was good or not, but she didn't question it. I was grateful for that.

~3 years old~

At this point trying to avoid being labeled as a genius or miracle baby was impossible. My new parents liked to brag at how fast I caught onto things. Since they noticed how fast I began to pick things up, they cut down on the baby talk. I still wasn't old enough to really do anything, but they had me do little things. Something like bringing them something small they needed. Even when it came to the terrible expectations of potty training, I got that figured out fairly quickly. Compared to Zack and other children, I was much farther ahead. My parents had taken me to the village's head doctor for a checkup and he figured I was more on par with a six or seven year old. The only things restricting me in life were my size and stamina. Being an adult in a kids body had far too many drawbacks. Not being able to reach tall things or make my own food was a big thing. Potty training was surprisingly and thankfully, not as bad as I though it would be. I really couldn't express how happy I was to be out of diapers.

However being so far ahead mentally meant that I didn't act my age at all. I never really played or interacted with other kids, with Zack being the only exception. Once he started walking and talking himself, there was no stopping him. He really was like a puppy even as a baby. Endless amounts of energy, never showed any sign of slowing down. Keeping watch over him alone was a full time job compared to watching all of us. Mrs. Fair had her hands full with him.

Zack was a very eager and talkative toddler, well as talkative as he could be. When he wasn't playing with the other kids he would constantly be pointing at things and saying, "wha that?" at a mile a minute.

Like a puppy though, I began to think he had a sixth sense or something. Whenever the other kids played with each other he would always stop to come and check on me from time to time. Each time he would try and get me to come and play, and if I wouldn't come then he would just come and sit next to me. Usually he would look over my shoulder at the pictures in the books I read, pointing at the occasional picture and asking what it was from time to time. Sometimes I wondered if he could have secretly been a child stuck in a adult body.

Some days my new parents would take over watching the both of us at our house. On more then one occasion I caught all the adults watching us together, whispering to each other. I hope they weren't trying to plan out future together. Little Zack was cute I'll admit, but I knew there was no way I could stay away from adult Zack. And I had no intention of messing with the timeline.

~5 years old~

It was at this point I came to stop thinking of my new parents as 'new' and just considered them as my parents. I didn't think I ever would come to like them, or my new brother. My family in my past life were far different from my current family now. It was like day and night. Sure my brother and I still didn't interact much but hey, mini genius or not I was only five years old. Not always that fun to be around. Most days blurred by for me. I still spent most of my days at the Fair house with a little Zack. The two of us officially started going to school with the other kids. Everything we learned was pretty standard for five year olds. After attending for a couple of months I quickly learned the basic layout of Gongaga's whole school system. Or rather I would constantly hear my parents and brother talking about such things, along with many of the teachers at the school. At our age we wouldn't be expected to do much. It wasn't until we turned ten years old that we would begin to learn the main jobs that were available in Gongaga.

First there the architects who built everything. Houses, shops, inns, bridges, wells... they were a very popular choice for boys. Next were the crafters. They were the ones who made a lot of the things people used to decorate their homes. From rugs and vases, to paintings and even some fabrics. Another very popular choice, even for my brother. From what I could tell he seemed to enjoy woodworking. Then of course there were important jobs like nursing, doctors, and scientists. There weren't oo many pursuing these jobs, only those who had a knack for it went for these jobs. When it comes to various shops and inns, they were all family owned businesses. It really was the type of village where there was only one or two of each type of shop, so not many options there. The smaller ones included the teachers at the school along with collecting, trading, and guarding. Each of those jobs were self explanatory.

Collecting and trading were the easy ones. Gongaga had a wide array of plants, animals and monsters surrounding the village. Collectors gathered them for the traders, who would either trade them for something they needed if they could not pay them with gil. Guarding consisted of protecting those who collected things in the forest from monsters. There was surprisingly very few who took on this job. For every ten to fifteen people that went collecting, only one person was guarding them. Monster attacks didn't happen too often, but they did still happen. These jobs were much more common for most of the people in the village.

However there was one main job that seemed to be just a tad more special. There was a surprisingly large array of medical plants and herbs growing around the village. They were commonly used for food or small herbal at home remedies. Even as a child is was considered the norm to begin learning which herbs were good for what, should they ever find themselves in a pinch. However when used the right way and combined with a bit of science, they could be used to actually make potions and elixirs. I never thought such things actually existed in this world, but it's just full of surprises.

Of course being only five I had yet to see them in action, but just knowing about them made it interesting. My own parents had a hand in making them. Before I thought they were simple nurses, but I later found out that my mother ran a special greenhouse to grow the plants inside the village. In case of emergencies it would save time to go to the greenhouse for fresh ones instead of going into the forest, or using old ones kept in the hospital. My father was a scientist, much more to my surprise. He actually partook in the creation of potions and elixirs. He also took the time to teach at the school from time to time. I found this out when he came to pick me up one day after school.

It seemed odd to me that we were essentially told to choose a career path at this point. Who honestly expects a ten year old to have their future career already figured out? I guess when you live in a small village where there really aren't many options, to them at least, it really was the norm. Few people left the village to find start over somewhere else. Being only five at the time and new to this world, I had no idea how anyone could just start over somewhere else. Especially in some place like Midgar. Attempting to pursue a career outside the village was considered rare here. It made me all the more curious as to how Zack had managed to leave.

#second chances #zack fair #cloud strife #reno sinclair #self insert #ff7 #ffvii #final fantasy 7

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crackimagines · 4 years

Note

Imperial Space Marine finds himself in Fodlan. Hilarity ensures.

To say I had fun with this prompt is...a bit of an understatement.

-----

In the grim darkness of the far future, there is only war.

-----

BRIEFING:

----------

DEATHWATCH MARINE DEPLOYED: Andrus Cassius, Ultramarines.

MISSION: Investigate possible T’au Warp/FTL experiment. Search and Destroy.

Use any means necessary to complete the mission.

The Emperor Protects.

-----

PROLOGUE

Andrus walked through the woods, his helmet’s visors lighting up the night.

Scanning everything in his vicinity, this world didn’t seem anything like the facility he had just infiltrated.

It was lush and full of life.

The factory he was in did not even have a scrap of grass when he made his way near the entrance.

He decided to put that to the side for now, it was clear that the portal had sent him to a different planet.

The mission to eliminate the prototype was a success, escaping was another story.

Security was hot on his heels as he tried stealing one of their ships as the explosion took over the entire facility.

His luck ran out when the explosion overwhelmed him and the ship. It seemed like the explosion was actually the prototype activating as it destroyed itself.

It didn’t seem like anything was hostile on this planet however, so the coast was clear.

“Only a matter of time before the T’au find me. I have to get out of here until then,” he thought to himself.

He checked the ammunition in his Boltgun. His ammo was mostly full, which he thanked himself for reserving the use of.

Andrus holstered his Boltgun and checked his chainsword, the revving of the engine was still smooth, if a little bloody.

When he looked up, his helmet displayed information that a settlement was nearby. Andrus had the helmet zoom in, checking the population of the town.

When he saw several humans standing guard with spears and armor seeming that of Terra’s ancient times, he sighed in relief.

It seemed that this planet was run by Human forces, albeit it seemed like they hadn’t had contact with the Imperium of Man in a very long time if they were still using such primitive weapons.

He stepped out of the trees and walked towards the guards outside.

(Guard) “Halt! Who....goes...?”

Andrus was used to people’s reactions at this point. He stood at around 9 feet, so he easily towered most people. Most of the subjects of the Imperium revered Space Marines as if they were some sort of deity.

A God walking amongst mortals, is what some would say.

Regardless, he had to make this quick. The mission was completed and it needed to be reported as such.

(Andrus) “His greetings upon you, subject of the Imperium. I need to get in contact with my superiors. Who is in charge around here.”

(Guard 2) “Uh...Who are you?”

(Andrus) “I am Andrus, an Astartes of the Emperor of Mankind. An angel of death.”

(Guards) “...”

(Andrus) “...A Space Marine.”

(Guard) “Buddy, what the hell’s a space marine?”

Although he had his helmet on, he was shocked at their reaction. At first sight, most people knew what he was. These guards however looked like as if they could care less of what he was.

Slowly realizing this, Andrus put his hands near his boltgun.

(Andrus) “You are subjects of the Imperium of Man, are you not?”

(Guard) “We’re part of Remiere village pal. And what’s with the getup? You from the army or something?”

Clearly, something was wrong. They did not know who their own rulers were, yet...

(Andrus) “I apologize, I must have mistaken this place as something else. Is the town open?”

(Guard) “Sure but, I think people’ll stare at ya like a freak. Not everyday we get someone as huge as you.”

Andrus nodded and was about to make his way into town before he heard a voice behind him.

(Girl’s voice) “E-Excuse us!”

He turned around and his helmet outlined three people coming towards him.

Two boys and a girl, seemed like teenagers.

They stopped when they saw him, completely forgetting what they were about to say.

(Boy in yellow) “Holy crap! Uh, sorry to bother you sirs but could you help?”

(Boy in blue) “There are bandits after us!”

(Girl in red) “We are sure our school can pay you whatever compensation you require, but please!”

Andrus looked at the three and the clothes they were wearing.

They were students of some fancy academy it seemed, and it didn’t seem like this place was under Chaos corruption as he suspected.

Whatever the case, now wasn’t the time to gawk. These children were under attack, so the questions would come later.

(Andrus) “Fear not. I will help you for no charge, guards I recommend sealing the gate to the towns. You kids go in as well-”

(Girl in red) “That is not necessary. We can hold our ground as well.”

(Boy in yellow) “Yeah, all we needed was a bit of help. Name’s Claude by the way! That’s Dimitri and Edelgard.”

Andrus nodded, and took out his boltgun.

(Andrus) “I am Andrus. Now, where are these bandits?”

An arrow zoomed by and hit the wall behind Andrus, and saw several bandits were coming from the forest, armed with axes and knives.

Andrus held his boltgun in one hand and took out the chainsword in another.

(Andrus) “Make them pay for this assault! CHARGE!”

Andrus took off running towards the first wave of bandits and began to lay waste.

With a crack of his boltgun, the upper half of a bandit exploded into red paste, and forced the chainsword into the hips of another bandit, cutting through him like a hot knife.

Andrus was expecting these bandits to begin firing any kind of conventional weapons like Bolt pistols, autoguns or lasguns. If any were even present this battle, it was not revealed yet.

Deciding not to waste precious ammunition, Andrus holstered back his boltgun and continued to use his chainsword.

A bandit tried to charge him and slammed the axe into his power armor, it scraping off and not even making a scratch.

Andrus grabbed the bandit’s head, lifting him up into the air and digging his chainsword straight through his chest.

Several arrows flew and deflected off his helmets, making barely a sound as it fell to the ground.

He looked at the bandits trying to attack him with more arrows, but one of them was hit by an arrow, alerting the whole group.

Dimitri and Edelgard rushed in and cut down the rest before they could run.

(Andrus) “Hmph, not bad fighters.”

Andrus lifted the chainsword upwards, splitting the bandit’s head cleanly in two as he shook off the blood and continued to charge.

The ones who were still brave enough attempted to gut him, with their swords completely snapping upon contact with his power armor.

Andrus used his free hand to punch one of them, but the force he was using seemed to be too much, as his head flew off and the body crumpled.

Another bandit was kicked towards the ground, and he slammed his heel onto his chest, making his limbs fly off everywhere as he exploded from the sheer force.

(Bandit) “What the hell is he?!”

(Bandit 2) “N-No way in hell I’m fighting that!”

Bandits near Andrus began running out of fear, seeing what he did to their friends.

He turned his head to several more bandits in the distance, looking straight at them. Andrus was trying to scan what weapons, but apparenly his gaze alone was enough to make them flee in terror.

(Bandit Leader) “Hey, why are you all running?!”

Andrus turned to the bandit leader and raised his chainsword once more.

The leader flinched, not expecting to see a massive man covered in his men’s blood.

Edelgard, Dimitri, and Claude stood behind him, weapons ready.

He smiled to himself as he started revving his weapon.

(Andrus) “Come, show us what passes as fury among your misbegotten kind!”

The bandit leader dropped his weapon and immediately fled with the others.

Andrus grunted, not feeling entirely satisfied that they weren’t all dead at his hands.

Oh well, the kids were safe enough so he supposed that was good for now.

He turned to face the kids and nodded.

(Andrus) “None of you are injured?”

(Dimitri) “No sir. That was incredible what you did!”

(Claude) “Aaaaand terrifying. Don’t forget that.”

(Edelgard) “S-Sorry about that comment. You have our thanks for helping us.”

(Andrus) “Of course.”

(Alois) “Don’t worry kids! The knights of Seiros are...Hey, they’re getting away! After them!”

Several knights chased after the bandits as their captain made his way over to the group.

(Alois) “Thank the goddess you’re alri-IIIIIIGHT...AHEM! Greetings sir...?”

(Andrus) “Andrus. You are part of their academy, I presume?”

(Alois) “Nice to meet you, Andrus! And um, yes, we’re their chaperones if you will. Though it seems their old professor is nowhere to be found. He must’ve ran, the coward!”

It seemed like he was a little nervous as happy as he sounded, so Andrus decided it would be best to remove his helmet to show that there was a human, and not a monster under the suit.

(Andrus) “Leaving children of the Emperor at the mercy of vagabonds is unforgivable in His eyes.”

(Edelgard) “Oh, actually I am the only one from the Empire.”

(Claude) “Yeah, she’s the princess, though she doesn’t look like it.”

(Edelgard) “Hmph. I could say the same of you, Claude. You don’t exactly look like a future leader of the Leicester Alliance yourself.”

(Dimitri) “Both of you are acting like children. You must be confusing Andrus.”

To say that they were confusing him would be a grand understatement. He had no idea what in the hell was going on.

(Alois) “Now now, regroup with the rest of your class before anything else happens. And Andrus, would you like to come along? You don’t seem to be doing anything, and we would be happy to compensate you.”

Andrus turned to Alois and stood for a moment.

He was in a completely foreign land, with technology that seems to have degraded in the most severe way, with people who did not even know what the Imperium of Man was.

Cut off from his superiors and most likely anything he knew from the Milky Way galaxy, he had no choice.

(Andrus) “I will comply. Let us go, then.”

#shitpost #fire emblem three houses imagines #fire emblem three houses headcanons #fe3h #fe16 #Edelgard von Hresvelg #dimitri alexandre blaiddyd #claude von riegan #alois rangeld #golden deer #black eagles #blue lions #warhammer 40k #wh40k #space marine

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saintheartwing · 4 years

Text

Invader Zim: The Pod People Invasion

"So…tell me again WHY my poor son is here?"

Professor Membrane was rather astounded that his son had been unceremoniously tossed into a straight jacket, gagged, and put in the school counselor's room. The black, scythe-haired scientist looked furious, despite nobody being able to see his eyes behind those large goggles he wore, and the fact his big white labcoat covered up his lower mouth. But his black-gloved fingers were clenching tightly onto his arm, his body practically vibrating with fury and rage as he glowered at the police who were in the whitish/grey room with him, the office of the school counselor, Mr. Thildari. The blind man had a soft face and white eyes, wearing glasses over those milky orbs as he wore a white button up shirt and white pants, and had a necklace with a lovely green orb-like gem at the end of it as he tilted his head to the side, the almost androgynous-looking man intrigued by what Professor Membrane had to say.

His son, Dib Membrane, was sitting in a chair nearby, in a straight-jacket and Mr. Thildari nodded at the police as they undid the straight-jacket. "I think it's unnecessary since his father's here at last. We apologize for the dreadful inconvenience." Mr. Thildari's soft yet dark voice remarked, his tone having almost a faint echoing undercurrent to it. "Please accept the school's humble apologies. Would you, perhaps, like to buy some chocolate? The school's having a promotion!"

He reached into his desk and pulled out big jars of chocolate-covered nuts. "How about it?" He inquired of Dib as they got him out of the straight-jacket and removed the ball gag and he dusted himself off. "You maybe got some…mad money to spend?"

"HA. HA. HA." Dib snorted as he pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose a bit and frowned, amber/golden eyes glowering at the school counselor, then at the cops. "This sucks, Dad. I got practically violated by these jerks!"

"Well you were ranting and raving about the end of the world in the middle of the school cafeteria for a good four minutes until we finally tased you." The first cop remarked.

"Because it's really happening!" Dib said. "Look, maybe I should just start from the beginning…" He sighed, pinching the space between his eyes and shaking his head back and forth. "It all started simply enough…" He murmured. "I'd forgotten my wallet yesterday on Sunday, and I had to race back into town. See, there was this really cool convention just the next town over, so I had to take a bus there only to realize…WOOPS. Forgot my wallet with my tickets in it. And the worst part was that because I only had enough change for the bus fare once, I had to walk back. And by the time I got back, that's when I realized something was really, really wrong with the town. I mean, everything seemed okay at first but…"

"You gotta help me!"

Torque Smacky had grabbed hold of Dibbun Membrane and was shaking the black-jacket-wearing, blue-undershirt-having young 12 year old about, looking mortified. The frazzled, spiky hair of Torque was even more messy, his big, ugly face looking horrified as he looked into Dib's eyes, his dad, lantern jaw and all, walking towards him.

"What the heck's wrong with you?" Dib asked. "I'm not doing your homework for you-"

"It's my dad, dude, he's not actually my dad! He's not!"

Dib stared at him. "…what?"

"He can't be! He hasn't spanked or smacked me once today!" Torque Smacky insisted.

"Oh, relaaaax, I'm sure your Dad will start smacking you around again soon enough." Dib remarked snidely. "Geez, Torque, you're angry that your family isn't hitting you? I call that finding a unicorn, do you know how many times Gaz hit me over the head during her "blue period"?"

"Thank you, sir." Torque's father said, taking hold of his son by the collar. "Come on, son, you must be…tired." He insisted, bringing him towards the screen door to his home nearby as Torque uselessly squirmed around, trying to break free.

"No, no, no! Please, believe me! Believe meeeeeee!" Torque cried out as he vanished into the house.

"Looking back, I…I can't believe how stupid I was not to see what was happening. I guess I was also in a bad mood, because I was missing the convention. AND I was starving too. So I went to get my wallet from my house. It was quiet, real quiet. Nobody seemed to be there, and there wasn't any food in the cupboard left over. So I decided "Okay, I'll get some snacks from the gas station, then head out and catch the last half of my convention". But then I met GIR, Zim's little robot friend, all disguised as a dog, and he'd finished up a Suckmunkey. He was sitting on the stoop and looking really depressed, and Zim was eating a candy bar…"

Indeed, the Irken alien invader, Zim, had distinctly green skin, no ears, no nose, ruby/maroon eyes hidden behind obvious contact lenses, and his black insectoid antenna was hidden by a black wig. He was still obviously wearing black gloves and boots and a maroon "invader's attire" that was a big ol shirt with long sleeves, dark grey pants, and he had clawed hands for God's sakes! And yet…hardly anyone seemed to realize he was an alien.

But even he seemed down.

"You guys look…really depressed."

"NONE of the filthy huuuuuman children will listen to me going into detail about my glorious new plans!" Zim remarked. "The whole town is…quiet! Lethargic! Slothful! Nobody cares about what Zim has to say!"

Dib sniggered as GIR sighed as well, the little green doggy suit he wore having its head a-drooping. "None of my friends'll play with me." He murmured. "Nobody wants to pet me. NOBODY LOVES MEEEEE!"

"Uh…gee, little alien robot, sorry…" Dib mumbled. Something was rather odd, he was beginning to pick up on that. But he'd learn the truth soon enough, because as he walked towards the bus station after getting some nachoes and a soda to sate himself, he saw, of all people, SKOODGE racing out of Zim's house, grabbing Dib!

"You gotta help me, Mr. Dib! PLEASE! Nobody else will listen to me!"

"Okay, alright, alright." Dib groaned, rolling his eyes as Skoodge led him to the backyard, past the guard-an-gnomes that Zim had, following the very tubby and rotund alien invader. Skoodge was dressed up in a better disguise, he had a holographic display that gave him a freckled face, orangish hair and the like…but he hadn't taken his Invader's garb off. Ah well. Skoodge was more agreeable, civil and just plain nicer than Zim. If he wasn't an alien invader, Dib would have probably gone along great with him-

"HOLY CRAP!"

Dib gazed down at what laid in the backyard, a gigantic pod, big, green, faintly pulsating and with Skoodge's head upon it!

"Wh-what is this?!" Dib asked. "It's an amazing likeness of you!"

"Yeah, I found it in the backyard along with this other pod that's just…lying here." Skoodge said, jabbing a thumb at another nearby pod. "No clue who it's for. It's not one of Zim's ideas, believe me…he'd be talking about it all morning if it was."

"I think I know what it is…" Dib realized, his eyes going wide. "Skoodge, this is a space pod! Part of a diabolical alien invasion force from deep space to replace all humanity as we sleep! There's only one thing to do!"

"Uh…call the cops? The FBI? The CIA? NASA? 60 Minutes, maybe?" Skoodge asked. "Or, I dunno, go to every house and set fire to all the backyards?"

"No! We'll look for a pod person and make them explain everything in a convoluted bit of expositionary dialogue!" Dib proclaimed, pointing upwards dramatically as Skoodge stared at him, scratching his head.

"Um…Dib, I don't think they're going to do that." He remarked.

"Skoodge, c'mon, if there's one thing aliens LOVE, it's bragging and talking about how amazing their plans for taking over worlds are." Dib told him, folding his arms over his chest as Skoodge opened his mouth to protest…then tilted his head to the side and nodded a bit, wagging his hand in the air in a kind of "Yeah, okay" sort of gesture.

So off we went. We asked people left and right if they were pod people. We didn't always get the answers we wanted. Didn't have a lot of good luck!

"Excuse me, are you a pod person?"

"A WHAT?!" Iggins asked. "What's THAT supposed to mean?! POD PERSON!? I'll have you know I'm proudly gay and there's nothing wrong with that! Pod person. POD PERSON…"

"Dude, you're being creepier than usual!" Zita proclaimed, glowering at the two. "I have mace. I am not afraid to use it."

"No, I'm black." Said the Letter M, the tight-crop black hair of the kid almost standing up on end in irritation as he frowned.

"Say, why are you called The Letter M anyway?"

"Well, it beats what my sister got named. The Letter F." M remarked with a sigh.

"…wait. You mean…" Dib trailed off. "…do your parents, by chance, work as scientists like MY dad?"

"Yes, and they changed their names when they got married and are now the Mr and Ms Sir and Madam no more, now they're the proud Mr. Husband and Mrs. Wife. They even named our dog the letter C. I wanted a cat. But they said it would make calling for their daughter too complicated."

"I am so, so sorry." Dib said apologetically. "I can't think of any worse name than being called the shorthand for Male."

"When I have a son, I'm going to name him SUE." Letter M insisted angrily. "Then I'll scatter my parents ashes over the toilet, and will scatter something else over that." He growled.

We learned a lot more about the people of this town than I think I wanted to...but not much about pod people. Finally, though, our persistence paid off.

"Why yes. Yes, I AM a pod person." Sara said cheerily, the faintly nun-dressed young girl sitting on a park bench and giving them a rather…unsettlingly fake smile. "And I'd be delighted to tell all of you about our people's invasion plans before I go alert my co-conspirators to your presence. You see, our space pods land on a planet, replacing all its people with emotionless replicas as they sleep. Then we grow more pods, spreading sterility and tranquility throughout the cosmos!"

"Really?" Dib remarked. "That's it? Kinda…simple."

"Well, yes! It's our first time doing this, so we're keeping the plan simple. Still, to be fair and further spread our mission, we also invented tofu, created EuroDisney, and Ben Stein. Oh, and Lily Collins. She's been one of us for years." Sara added.

"How about Tommy Wiseau from "The Room"?"

"Oh, no, no, no." Sara shook her head. "He's too weird for us. That's on you people. We're not going near him with a fifty foot pole. We may be emotionless, calm, collected alien invaders, but even we get weirded out by that guy."

"So you wanna get rid of all our emotions?! That's horrible! That sounds like you wanna turn the world into a bad Lifetime Channel movie or some kind of old home video you'd show kids in Sunday School!"

"I dunno, I think it's pretty nice being a pod."

"AAAAA!"

Dib gaped in horror at Skoodge, who now looked…off. His eyes were kind of distant. His face looking like it was miles away! And the pod he'd been carrying with them for proof…EMPTY!

"How the heck?!" Dib cried out.

"Yeah, turns out me carrying it around wasn't such a nice idea. Or at least, that's what I thought about…ten seconds ago. But now I "feel" fine. You should try it." Skoodge said as he took hold of Dib along with Sara, dragging Dib into a nearby convenience store, people standing listlessly about as the man behind the counter stared ahead.

"So. What would you like? We have water…water…and, ah, more water."

"I'd like a tepid water."

"Yes, tepid, please."

"Tepid would be very nice."

"Oh, and I must remind you all, we are having "Unemotional Hour" tonight from 10-11 at the bar across the street. Is that not just lovely?" The convenience store owner intoned in a deadpan voice as the others nodded in agreement.

"Here, to ease your transition in, human." Said Skoodge as he handed Dib something from a large pile of objects to the side as the other pod people nodded some more. "Your own space pod and introduction membership kit! All you need for a nice, simple, assimilation into never having problems ever again. Oh, and we also have this very lovely foam finger." He added with a nod as Dib looked over the "Pods #1" foam finger he'd been given. "We got the idea from a very lovely little dog."

"Uh, look, um….I kinda want my emotions." Dib insisted. "They're good for, y'know…improving the world. Caring about people? Protecting it from…well, alien invasions!?"

"Don't be silly, Dib. Emotions lead only to bad things. Like competition, jealousy, and hallmark cards. We're doing your world a favor!" Sara remarked. "You'll never have any worries or cares ever again. Become one of us just like Mark Zuckerburg did. He's far better off now."

"Mark Zuckerberg's one of you? Really?"

"Yeah,it took ages to be sure he was, even before our pod, the man was as soulless as a piece of toast!"

"So…I won't care about…say…my favorite TV show, Mysterious Mysteries?" Dib inquired.

"Nope. Not a bit."

"…what about…hunting down Zim?"

"He won't be caring about anything anymore, why should you?"

"…my family?" Dib asked.

"No, you won't care about them either. You won't even care that you don't care!"

"…BUH-BYE!" Dib said, kicking Skoodge in the foot. BOINK! He flopped over, Sara gaping as Dib took off running.

"Hey, stop him!"

"You stop him. I don't care if he escapes." Skoodge remarked as he laid on the floor.

"Yeah, doesn't bother me any." Said the convenience store owner as other pod people nodded along.

"But if we don't stop him he'll ruin all our plans!" Sara remarked.

"…oh, well that's different." Skoodge said, chasing after him with the others as they barrled out of the street after Dib, who tore down the sidewalk. "Please stop running. You have forgotten your pod."

"Ask me if I care!" Dib called back.

"You know, if I had any emotional capacity I would be very cross with you right now." Sara added as they jogged after Dib, who glared back at them slightly before diving into an alleyway, scrambling over a chain link fence. He bolted as fast as he could, barreling down the road, into his house, slamming the door shut, Zim sitting on the couch and shaking his head back and forth.

"I really don't get why you like this show." He told GIR and Gaz as they sat down on the couch next to him. "Oh, Dib-Stink. Yes, I'm in your house, GIR stupidly insisted we come over here to check on "Gazzy-Wazzy". They evidently were doing something upstairs for a long time and now they want me to watch the…what is it? Calm Monkey Show?"

"Calm Monkey!?" Dib stared at the screen, mouth agape as Gaz and GIR kept watching, staring ahead blankly.

"…hello." Said the brown-furred, slightly yellow-eyed monkey on the screen. "…what a nice day. Isn't it a fine day. Isn't it fine that we're feeling fine?"

"Yes. Yes, it's fine to feel fine, isn't it?" GIR asked Gaz.

"Oh, yes. We're both feeling fine. You know, I think the paint's drying on the back of the wall behind that monkey." Gaz added, the purple-haired Goth girl…not even having her eyebrows down so much over her eyes she looked like she was perpetually frowning. She had her eyes wide open and she…she wasn't even wearing her skull necklace!

"This is not a good show." Zim muttered.

"Maybe you'll like…say…some nice, relaxing music." Gaz said, changing the channel to a music station as Dib frowned, then yawned.

"UGH. Post Malone's "Psycho"?! This song is so dull, he's supposed to be talking about going insane but he sounds like he's on Quaaludes!"

"We could always switch to a nice C-SPAN discussion if you'd prefer, they're talking about bumper crops." GIR remarked.

"…oh no. OH NO. I know what you're trying to do. You want me to fall asleep so you can replace us with pods!" Dib gasped. "No way!" He proclaimed. "Zim, we have to get out of here now. GIR and my sister have evidently been replaced by pod people from outer space and if we don't leave, they'll put us to sleep and replace us too!"

"Oh, c'mon." Zim said with a snort. "I mean, just because Gaz and GIR are acting much more calm and rational and polite and courteous and civil doesn't…doesn't…"

BAM!

Zim and Dib barreled out the front door, Zim's disguise falling off his face as he howled in terror. "YOU WILL NEVER, EVER TELL ANYONE I ADMITTED YOU WERE RIGHT, DIB!"

"SHUT UP AND RUN, LOCUST!"

"You can't hide from us!" GIR cried out as he walked after them, smiling stupidly along with Gaz.

"Yes. Today, Philadelphia, tomorrow…a whole bunch of other places!"

"We have to find a place to hide. Somewhere. Anywhere!" Dib proclaimed as they barreled past people in the street, racing out of the city as fast as they could, off to the outskirts as the sky began to get darker, Zim wiping his brow. "C'mon, Zim, pick up the pace!"

"S-Sorry! I'm…I'm not used to…running around so much!" He moaned. "Zim's PAK legs usually do this for him but I had to put it on "DEBUG" for the day, nothing's working but the life support." He commented.

"You are soooo out of shape." Dib intoned as they reached the old mine, climbing inside, panting heavily, Dib wiping his brow as Zim flopped against the stony wall within, the soft echoing of a stalactite dripping water down into a cave pool not far away. DRIP…DRIP…DRIP.

"OOOF…" Zim moaned. "I wish I'd eaten more than a candy bar. I'm starving."

"I'm going to check to see if the coast is clear. Lemme look outside the back entrance." Dib told Zim, heading down the mine, going to the south entrance, using his smartphone's flashlight to light the way as he wiped his brow on his jacket arm. "Hoo…I'm getting tired too. Okay, once I know we're safe, we can take a little nap and then I'll gather my thoughts and think up a plan." He mused to himself as he finally reached the southern entrance to the mine about half an hour later. He peered out as the stars began to twinkle overhead, a soft wind blowing through his hair as he clung to the wall of the mine, peering out.

No sign of anyone or anything, save for a natural pathway leading out to the highway. Dib grinned, then headed back the way he'd come, calling out. "Zim! Zim, the coast is clear, let's get-OH NO!"

There, by Zim's side…was a pod!

"Yeah, uh, funny story. They had some spares here in the mine. Anyway, Zim is a pod now. It's pretty awesome." Zim intoned. "I think you should be a pod too." He added, holding up another pod. "One of us! C'mon."

"AAAACK!" Dib barreled back to the southern entrance, racing off as Zim called out, the pod people coming in through the north entrance.

"He's over here, this way! Human over here!"

Dib barreled down the highway, racing off for the school, looping to the west as he slid his way inside through a window. His chest felt like it was on fire as he made his way into a closet, panting heavily, wiping his brow and looking around. No pods anywhere. NOWHERE. Phew. He quickly began to move things around, barricading the door and finally, at long last, sitting down to rest and-

"Hey. This is my closet." Said an irritated-looking janitor with a bit of messy black hair atop his head and a dark look in his eyes, his body thin and emaciated as he poked his head out from behind a bucket. "I've got a busy day tomorrow of painting a wall red with blood to feed the demon that lies inside."

"Well I'm hiding from pod people who want to take away all our emotions!"

"…yeah, okay, fair enough. Just so you know? I snore." The janitor intoned, plopping back down behind the bucket.

And so, come the next morning as the kids were going into the cafeteria for a big announcement…that was when I barreled in, fully rested and probably still looking wild and crazed, waving my arms over my head as I got on top of a table, bouncing up and down, yelling loudly to all in the room about the oncoming alien invasion of pod people!

And about four minutes in, that's when the school's police guard came in to tase me.

…

… "So that's what happened." Dib explained.

"Only a moron could believe stuff like that!" said one of the cops as Mr. Thildari rubbed his chin.

"I'm very sorry, Dib. But without any kind of supporting evidence, well…the best you can do is let the media exploit you for a lucrative book and Netflix movie deal." The school counselor remarked just before Professor Membrane noticed something.

"Oh. One moment." He lifted open his chest, showing off a built-in smart TV, everyone looking on in awe as he cheerily chuckled. "We're getting a breaking news bulletin! I can always tell because I get a tingling in my colon."

"This just in! SPACE PODS HAVE INVADED EARTH!"

"And by the way!" a voice rang out as the rather homicidal-looking janitor brought in several big ol' green pods, tossing them into the room. "I found these in the damn bathrooms. How am I supposed to clean up all the blood if these pods are in the way!?"

"Oh, Dib! You a pod yet?" Zim inquired as he poked his head into the room with an unnatural smile as Gaz, GIR and Skoodge stood by him.

"HA! HA-HA-HA-HA-HA! SEE?! SEEEE?!" Dib cried out. "You believe me now, you jaded authority figures, you?"

"I dunno…not really…" One of the cops remarked.

"Mmmm…gee, nah, I don't think so…" Another cop intoned.

"Actually, I do." Said Mr. Thildari as he smiled broadly…

And then, before their eyes, became an Irken with balled antennae dressed in a big white robe with a silver belt! He smiled cheerily at Dib, waving his clawed hands, white eyes blinking. "You see, we Irkens have actually been on Earth for many decades now. My own mother and originator, Almighty Tallest Miyuki, blessed be her name, came here aaaaages ago to do some experimentation with a VERY lovely black-haired young scientist who ended up charming her."

"Wait, WHAT?!" Professor Membrane's eyes bugged behind his goggles. "Though this explains a lot…" He confessed as Dib gaped in astonishment, the cops in the room, Zim, GIR, Gaz and Skoodge gasping in amazement. "She always felt very different down there whenever we-"

"BAH, we're not worried about you." One of the cops said as he took off his hat…then his head, revealing a distinctly green, scaly-skinned, tusk-having alien who was amazingly tall! "We Martians have been preparing too! We've been seeing all of your efforts for twenty decades and we're getting our hunting parties ready!"

"That'd be very impressive…" said another one of the cops before his skin melted off…showing off synthetic alloy beneath with soulless eyes as his arm opened up to reveal a carbine blaster that was revving up to fire. "But we robots have foreseen your attempt. I come from the future to end your reign before it begins! If need to, we will shoot you twice! We'll screw you over more than the new Terminator did to it's franchise!"

"Wait a minute, I thought we were only being invaded by pod people!" Dib remarked.

"You think that's what's going on? Not at all, man!" yelled Nick as the young man with the obvious head injury stuck his head into the room and walked inside, wearing…a kilt. They stared at him in shock as he sighed, folding his arms over his chest, the poor kid's brain exposed from horrifying experiments that Zim had done on him, the brain barely kept in by a kind of glassy little dome. "Giant blancmanges landed. They've turned half my class into Scotsmen so they can dominate the Olympic games this year because "everyone knows Scottish people are terrible at sports"! Bunch of prejudicial puddings!" He grumbled.

"You think that's bad?!" Ms. Bitters intoned as she crawled in from the window outside, panting heavily and wiping her brow, looking mortified, smoke slightly rising off her skeletal frame as the glasses-wearing old, white-haired crone cringed. "It's the apes you need to worry about. Apes have inherited the Earth!"

"Have we actually all died and gone to Hell? What's going on here?!" Dib groaned as he looked around the room, other people beginning to talk amongst themselves, the voices getting loud and panicked and terrified.

"No, no, it's all a twisted experiment!"

"It's the GOVERNMENT'S fault!"

"IT'S A COOKBOOK! IT'S A COOKBOOOOOK!"

"You stupid, STUPID morons!" A voice rang out as they all turned, suddenly seeing someone whom they never expected to see…Minimoose. The flying, purple little moose-like toy glowered at them all, speaking perfect English! "None of this is real! We're all just typed words on a page, stuck in a comedic horror story written by a New Englander! This is all just FANFICTION!"

Everyone stared at him…and then burst out laughing, hysterically cackling. "Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

"WOOP! HA HA HA!"

"PFFFTTT!"

"HEE-HEE-HEE!"

"Oh, that's a good one. Fanfiction! Ha-ha-ha! That's the stupidest one yet!" Dib sniggered.

"Oh yeah?!" Minimoose glowered as his eyes narrowed. "Then how do you explain the fact that the next words out of your mouth are going to be "You're just being silly, Minimoose!"

"You're just being silly, Minimoose-" Zim began to say before he stopped, and everyone gazed at him, his expressionless face now looking terrified. "…wh…what?"

"And look! Look up THERE! See! The PAGE!" Minimoose proclaimed as he pointed up above, and everyone stared.

"Wh…what? H…How can I be up there when I'm speaking now?" Dib murmured fearfully as they all glanced around at each other.

"And there's MORE!" Minimoose proclaimed. "Haven't all of you felt it? That feeling you were being watched? Like the eyes of strange things are upon you?! Look! Reading this right now! YOU! Yes, YOU!"

"OH MY GOD!" Dib cried out as he saw you, the others gazing on in amazement and horror. "That…that means…"

"Then…then…" Professor Membrane murmured.

"AAAAAAAAAA!"

People were screaming, running left and right. The pod people howled in terror, folks were bolting out the door and the windows, and Dib, pale as a sheet, shook his head back and forth, looking up at you.

"Please, whatever you do! Don't stop reading! DON'T STOP READING THIS STORY! DON'T EXIT THE TAB! DON'T CLICK AWAY! DON'T! STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!"

#fanfiction #fanfic #Invader Zim #Zim #Dib #Gaz #aliens #alien invasion #humor #comedy #parody #satire

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lbigreyhound13 · 4 years

Text

Outburst (BOTGD 2 Oneshot)

Takes place right after Don’t Do the Crime

Grey’s outburst based on this and this

It was silent as the Chief and her husband walked back to the house with the Night Fury. After Milae and Dario were brought to the prison, Grey and Brandt agreed that their trial take place in two days’ time...so that it would be over quickly, and that was the last time Brandt heard his wife speak. As they left the Great Hall and put out an order for the council to convene for the trial in two days, Grey hadn’t said a word, but Brandt knew that Grey was at her wit’s end. He felt the tension radiating from her body, and the fact that she briefly talked about a vacation in Yrus was evidence enough that she needed a break from the Rebellion.

However, he couldn’t force her to admit that. She needed to do that on her own, and if he knew his wife, that would happen pretty quickly. It was very rare for Grey to get angry, but when she did, she always tried to hold it in until she could finally let it out. Throughout the talk with Milae and Dario, he could see that she was just not enjoying it at all. It was weighing down on her...especially when two of their comrades were connected to a murder of one of her old friends. He was able to see a subtle glow on her hands, but she was able to keep it at bay.

As soon as they walked in, Brandt closed the door, and he knew the kids were off in the village, which worked great. They were alone.

Grey didn’t say anything and moved to take off her cape, but Brandt quickly stepped in from behind.

“Let me, sweetheart,” Brandt said quietly. He was her husband, her second-in-command. Her burdens were his.

“Thanks,” Grey said quietly. She felt somewhat better as Brandt removed the shoulder pads and the cape...the very symbol of her position as Chief and leader of the rebellion...from her back.

Over the years, Brandt had become her sanctuary. Her whole family was...her mother...her children...her adoptive siblings...her nieces and nephew...but her husband...he was always there...the constant reminder whenever she came home that she was not just the Chief and the leader of the Rebellion. She was simply his wife and the mother of their children. She didn’t have to take charge at home...she could just be Grey...his wife, and she loved that more than anything. He was there to take the burdens away...just for a while, but that didn’t change what happened. Milae killed one of her people, and was about to go to trial. At that thought, she took a deep breath as she leaned on a chair gripping it tightly.

“That was pretty rough,” Brandt said as he hung up Grey’s fur cape.

Grey scoffed. “You think?”

“I do,” Brandt retorted as he sat down at the table, “and I also know that if you want to vent or scream or kill something...I’m here to listen.”

“Yeah, like that’s going to make all this go away...the trial, Milae’s crime, Magnus being murdered, Rhenco, all this...High Central...Rebellion crap...” The Chief felt guilty for saying that. She didn’t mean it, and Brandt knew that too. She was bearing a lot on her shoulders, and she appeared to be reaching...her breaking point.

“It’s not, but...honey, you’ve been working so hard...juggling everything...” Brandt said remaining completely calm. “This...whole thing with Milae and Dario was just the tip of the iceberg, and it’s perfect natural to just...let it all out. Just...tell me what to do, I can hel--”

“Hey!” Grey shouted as she banged the chair with a fake smile. “If you really want to help me, I have an idea. I’d like Milae--that arrogant goat half-breed to be brought right here...”

The sight of her old friend...Magnus...dead...fresh in her mind...Dario and Milae scared out of their minds as the guards brought them to prison...

“...and for High Central--those lovely racist shitheads...”

The dungeons...the attack on her home that forced her teenaged son to step up...as acting Chief...

“...and for Rhenco--that no-good kidnapper alchemist...”

The memory of Rhenco holding him hostage...threatening all three of their children...and then him...having the nerve to mention her son’s name...

“...and for those stupid home-attacking, racist Night Furies--no offense, Shadow...” Shadow looked at her...not with anger but concern for her sister as she felt the anger building up more and more...

Kari almost being killed...those Night Furies not even listening to Indigo...Nimbus dying at her hand...

“...to be brought here too! I want all those assholes brought...right here...in our house!” She threw one...two chairs to the floor with a scream before turning back to her husband, who didn’t even flinch. “And I want to look them straight in the eye, and I want to tell them...what horrible...no-good, rotten, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, overstuffed, ignorant, arrogant, brainless, heartless, bug-eyed, worm-headed assholes they are! Praise Hel! Holy shit! Where are the ice blocks? I have a headache!”

“In the box from the last time you needed them...” Brandt replied still not flinching from his wife’s outburst.

The Chief practically stomped into the kitchen and pulled out two ice-blocks before walking back over to the table sitting down at the one chair she didn’t flip over and sat down across from Brandt placing the blocks on her head and feeling the chill rush into her head. She looked up at her husband and her Night Fury, who were looking at her with concern. She sighed. “I’m so--”

“No, don’t apologize,” Brandt said. “It’s been a rough few months, and you’re entitled to be stressed.”

Grey took a deep breath. “I know,” she said, “but I’m the leader...the Chief. What kind of message am I sending if I can’t handle it?”

“You are handling it,” he said as he stood up and walked over to her standing behind her. He gently placed his hands on her shoulders massaging her shoulders. “You have been handling it, and yes, you are the Chief. But you’re still human. You deserve a break every once in a while.”

She sighed again feeling the tension leave her shoulders as Brandt rubbed them.

“You know...that trip you suggested to Yrus...it’s not a bad idea,” he said after a moment. “We can leave in a week or two so that we can get things settled and stay there for a few days. I’m sure Akkey would love to see us, and...I know things are rough with Seasick right now. Akkey, Hunter, and Maya can be your outlet.”

“Yeah...that would be nice,” Grey replied. The thought of the fields and the mountains...the peaceful landscapes already relaxed.

“And...you know...while the kids go do their thing when we go...” Brandt said smirking at Grey moving down so that his lips were on her neck, “you and I...can stay in the inn for a day...” He kissed her neck, “or two.”

“You are bad, Sir Brandt,” Grey said closing her eyes and sighing.

“The worst...” he whispered. “So, what do you say, my beautiful wife? I can write to Akkey and ask her to put in word for us at the inn. We can leave in a week or so.”

Grey sighed. “It would be nice to get away,” she said. “Alright, why not?”

“Great,” Brandt smiled. “I can write to her today, but...before I do that...I say you leave the cape home and come on a walk through the forest with me...and take a flight on Shadow before you take care of the rest of your assignments.”

Grey giggled. “You are amazing.”

“I try.”

-----

Dear Akkey,

Grey and I hope all is well with your family. We’ve had some...interesting things happening on Haligan, and Grey’s been in need of a break. I was wondering if you all would be up for a visit from the Felman family. We will be more than happy to stay in an inn and visit you all. I know Grey would love to see you, and it would be great to catch up. Thank you so much! We hope to see you soon!

Sincerely,

Sir Brandt Felman

#battle of the grounded dungeon #botgd #botgd 2

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specialmindz · 4 years

Photo

”NYEH!!”

“nope! try again bro,” said Sans, smiling with his arms outstretched.

“WHAT DA’ FRIGGIN’ HELL SNAS?! WHY I CAN’T DO DIS?”

“keeeep practicing pappy, you’ll get it! hee hee hee!” He laughed as Papyrus gave him an angry look, probably thinking he was being made fun of, though that really wasn’t the case. Sans had actually been trying to help Papyrus; help him stay Determined so he’d have a better chance of learning his unique Karma attack, which even his own father gave up on quite some time ago, but unfortunately, it seemed like his taunting wouldn’t be enough, as the baby bone’s frustration was beginning to become more and more apparent with each passing failure.

His brother wasn’t a full Wingdings, but he definitely shared their impatience, which was what caused that particular member of the Dingbat family to multitask. If Papyrus didn’t pick up on something as quickly as he liked, he’d soon put it aside for later and move on to something else, and if he couldn’t master the comedian’s Karma technique with his FULL attention, then, well…

“WHY DIS HAPPENING TO ME? DIS AIN’T RIGHT! I’S THE MASTERPIECE, YOU’S THE ROUGHDRAFT! I’S SUPPOSED TO BE BETTER AT ERYTHING!!”

Gaster stood by the Nursery’s doorway observing the two, clipboard in hand, “I believe it may have something to do with his soul’s value…”

“Nyeh?”

“Sans values Integrity above all else, as represented by his soul’s blue coloring. Integrity itself is defined as doing what one believes is the right thing no matter what,” Gaster flipped through the papers attached to his clipboard.

SHIF SHIF!

“Kay’.”

SHIF SHIF SHIF!

“…”

SCRIBBLE SCRIBBLE!

“pfft! dad…”

Gaster stopped writing and looked up from his clipboard to see his son pointing down at Papyrus, who was staring at him with a smile from the floor. “What?”

“Are you’s gonna finish dat thought, or…?

“Hadn’t planned on it. I figured since you’re sooo much smarter and better than everyone else, you could do it yourself-”

“NYEH!” Papyrus tried the Karma attack on Gaster and failed.

“eeeasy lil’ bro…”

“Hatred is not the key Snas.”

CA-THUNK!

Seeing his father leave the Nursery and shut the door behind him, Papyrus’s whined and plopped down on the floor. “Nyeh-haaaa…Daddy went away…”

“that’s probably cause’ you tried to attack him pap.”

“I’s just trying to learn the Caramel…”

“karma, pappy. it’s called the ‘karma’ attack.”

“Kar-ma…?” Papyrus scratched his skull with a tiny hand, feeling as if he’d heard that word before. “Waz karma Snas? Is popcorn?”

“nope. Those are kernals. ‘karma’ is what happens when you either do good or bad things. If you’re a good person, your karma will be good, but if you’re bad…”

“…”

“it *sigh* it’ll be bad pappy. your karma will be bad.”

Could he really not figure that out on his own?

“OOOOHHH! Is soul-glow!”

“soul-glow…?” Now Sans was confused. He hadn’t expected his baby brother to understand what he meant COMPLETELY, but Papyrus had surprised him before with his impressive intellect and “unique” way of thinking. Maybe he had figured out what Gaster meant when he said his integrity played a key role in his attack; Sans certainly hadn’t.

The ability was discovered on accident actually, when he noticed Papyrus about to do something the infant KNEW he wasn’t supposed to be doing…that being climbing on top of their father’s chair and using their computer while it was still online. They were SUPPOSED to wait in the office quietly while their father completed their checkups and put the new information into the computer as the children were no longer allowed in the Medical Ward, possibly due to it being too crowded and idea of allowing his brother into a room full of sick people being the worst one ever. Unfortunately, being impatient to move on to whatever task he had waiting next in line, Gaster had seemingly forgotten to make sure the boys had left the room before him, but no doubt he’d be back once his mistake was realized to yell at his younger sibling.

Lying on the couch and caught between not giving a crap and caring for his little brother, Sans lazily raised a hand and swiped it to the left, pretending to move Papyrus via the psychokinesis he didn’t have.

He did not expect to actually send the baby flying into a cabinet.

“NYEHAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!”

CRAH-THUMP!

The sound of the cabinet doors splintering and his tiny brother’s body thudding against the wooden back from inside, made Sans wince. Any other infant would be either dead or sporting more than a few broken bones, but Papyrus’s baby formula had something in it that made him stronger and more durable than other newborns. Kicking a broken piece of door, he stomped out of the cabinet, scanning the room with his eyes for the oh-so-funny, soon-to-be dead mother FUCKER who thought they could throw him around like Scrappy Doo.

“WHO DID DAT?! WHO DA’ FEEGIN’ HELL DID DAT?!”

“holy cra-bro are you all right?”

“DAT YOU BOO BOO? WHOEVER DID DAT BETTER COME OUT RIGHT NOW OR THEY GONNA DIE!!”

“i doubt it was napstablook pappy.”

Undaunted, Papyrus ignored his older brother and waited patiently for the perpetrator to come out and admit their crime…but nobody came. He looked around the room once more, his confusion turning into concern upon seeing his lie ignored.

The Blook family were music lovers like himself, this he knew. If they weren’t listening to it, they were dancing or creating it, meaning not a single soul in their family tree was deaf. By that logic, the Verbal Font’s audio hypnosis should have worked on them…so why didn’t anyone appear? Where there more ghost monsters in the Underground? Ones Papyrus didn’t know about? Ones that liked to throw babies?

“Nyeh? NAH! NOOOOOO! DADDYYYY!”

BLOOSH!

Papyrus fired his gaster blaster below him as he felt himself began to rise into the air once more. He had HOPED to hit the legs of whoever was attempting to pick him up, but it only resulted in a small crater forming in the office tile.

“NYEHHHHHHAAAAAAHHHH!!!! DADDYYYYY, SAVE DA’ BABY!!”

“heh heh heh heh…”

“IS NOT FUNNY SNAS! GO GET THE SLEEPY WATER AND SAVE THE BABY!”

“you want me to throw a whole bottle of chloroform on you just to-”

“GET DA’ SLEEPY WATERRRRR!!” Screeched the panicked infant, swinging his fists and kicking his tiny legs wildly.

“iiiii dunno bro, that doesn’t sound safe. chloroform is metabolized into trichloro methanol, which metabolizes into phosgene, and that’s toxic-”

“I DON’T CARE ABOUT YO’ STINK SCIENCE!!”

“long term effects of inhalation involve cancer, since chloroform is a confirmed carcinogen verified through multiple epidemiological studies, and i know epidemiology is the study of diseases in animals and humans, but our species is hella close baby bro.”

“SNAS!!”

“i don’t really study epidemiology, but you know how dad gets when you get him talking about fonts and science, apparently virus fonts are super dangerous.”

“…”

“i can’t remember what kind of cancer he said you’d get if i gave you too much chloroform, but regardless, i don’t think you should be anywhere near it anyway to be honest. a human baby, possibly even a baby monster would be dead by now if they were in YOUR uh…feet…pajamas. why’re you looking at me like that?”

“…Why your hand up for so long?” asked the baby bones, eyeing his brother suspiciously.

“what? i exercise.”

“Only yo’ mouth. You do dis?”

“nope.”

Sans put his arm down and Papyrus dropped to the floor.

“NYEH!”

“hey! be careful with my little broth-”

“Shut up Snas, I know is you.”

CA-THINK!

“whaaaat? noooo, that was just coincidence baby bro,” said Sans, watching his father walk into the room. The scientist looked once at the broken cabinet and then at the crater Papyrus had made before fixing his glare on the infant.

“I know when you’s lying big Buther.”

“you don’t think it was coincidence? hmm…maybe i’m being framed. what do you think?”

“I think you’s an asshole.”

“i was asking dad.”

Not that he’ll find this impressive, but maybe the mystery will keep him from yelling about the office damage. Though what I REALLY want is to avoid another computer argument. I know he’s gonna accuse Pappy of something, even though HE’S the one who forgot to log off.

…

How DID I do this?

“Sans, what happened?”

“SNAS THROWED THE BABY!”

“SHUT UP PAPYRUS!”

“I highly doubt that.”

“NO, HE DID! HE DID THROW DA’ BABY! SNAS A JEDI!”

“Sans is a what…?”

Speak clearly Papyrus!

“he thinks i threw him into the cabinet even though i didn’t.”

“You really didn’t huh? Well dat’s good big Buther, cause’ if you did, I’d throw you in court! THEN you’d has a reason to raise your hand and lie to eryone…”

“i don’t get it,” said Sans, confused.

“In court they makes you pace yo’ hand on the bib-el and then you raise your other one and-”

“*PFFT!* did you just say ‘bib-el?” He immediately burst out laughing, much to the baby’s annoyance.

“Nyeh? Why you laugh? They not do that no more?”

“It’s pronounced BYE-ble, not ‘bib-el’ Papyrus, and it’s not something you should be reading.”

“Nuh-uh! It’s got the word ‘bib’ in it, so it MUST be for babies! Is the holy book of baes!”

“No.”

“It ’twas written by Jesus and his saints-”

“that part you got right.”

“No, no he didn’t. Moses wrote the Bible Sans. Your brother speaks nonsense as per usual.”

“Nope, it was Jesus all right. Moses made condoms,” said the baby, matter-of-factly.

“Commandments.”

“Condiments.”

“moses invented ketchup?!”

“No child. Papyrus, stop filling your brother’s skull with blather! Our family already has a bad reputation and some people still talk to Sans-”

“Dat’s right big Buther! He turned a whole ocean into ketchup and then made it split apart so he and his peoples could walk across it. Today, is called da’ Red Sea.”

“Shut up Papyrus.”

“cooooool!”

“Yep, he very cool. He from Egypt too, just like da’ baby!”

“Your FONT is from Egypt, YOU are American-”

“Is too bad he not one of Jesus’s saints…least I don’t think he be. I not read the whole bib-el yet and I doesn’t know all the saints. I know there be twelve dough!” The infant tapped his chin thoughtfully as if trying to remember them all.

Not that Sans believed his brother knew a single thing about the Bible or religion in general. Their father said it was a dangerous tool humans used to harm others, including their own species, and that it slowed down scientific progress. Out of curiosity however, Sans paid a visit to the “librarby” to see for himself, having been taught early that taking his family’s word for absolutely anything was usually a poor decision. Pulling it out of the history section, he opened it to find that it was for the most part, unreadable…at least to him, though that word was often used by Sans to describe books he found boring rather than indecipherable.

He could read it all right, but there were too many names and the sentences at times made him feel as if he were having a conversation with Papyrus during one of the baby’s…odd, moments. Those uncomfortable moments where his little brother would cease his baby-talk, sometimes altogether, and suddenly age in personality, speaking to him clearly with an unmistakable air of authority. It made the comedian even more uncomfortable when he spotted the word “Egypt” several times though he was only on page seven of…Genesis 15:2…?

What kind of a name is that for a chapter?

“You don’t know anything about the Bible OR religion!” Gaster’s angry voice pulled Sans from his thoughts. “You live in a place of SCIENCE and I made sure to keep those kinds of books out of here!” exclaimed the scientist.

The Sans Serif, though curious as to what his brother thought of religion, chose not to say anything in this regard. He could understand his father’s concern. He couldn’t read a lot of the book without falling asleep, but what he did read told him that it was a collection of short stories that went either two ways; people obeyed God’s orders and turned out the better for it, or they didn’t and suffered severe consequences. With one of those orders being believe in the book, he could see how people could use the Bible to control others…how people like his brother could use it to control others. All it would take is one dedicated liar to “translate” it for people too lazy to make their own interpretations. His brother could cause a lot of damage and according to Gaster, some people already had.

Were the witch trials real or did Dad make that up?

“The librarby still gots the bib-el! I go there allll the time to get the knowledge, so I be smart when I gets big. I knows more than half the saints now,” replied the baby bones proudly. “There’s St. Nick, also known as Santa…you know him already Snas.”

Sans snickered and turned his attention to Papyrus. “i do? oh yeah! i heard santa clause was called st. nick at one point, i didn’t know he helped write the bible though…”

I don’t think he’s read it.

“bib-el. Yeah, he wrote it with Jesus and even let his widdle buther St. Stephen help too, cause’ he nice like you~”

“santa has a brother?”

“Yep! They twins like us! He born on December twenty-six dough cause’ of com-pli-cations. He liked to hide things in boxes and pay da’ tricks! He take his buther’s toys and when Santa say ‘where my toys be?’ Stephen go, ‘I don’t know big Buther, where DO your toys be?”

RA-CAKCAKCAK!

Sans turned his head to see Gaster pouring a bottle of aspirin onto the office table near the computer. “stephen doesn’t sound very nice bro, ha ha!”

“Nahhh, he just misunderstood. Like da’ baby. You gots to read between the lines Snas! He hide the toys so when Santa forget about them and open a box, he get all surprised and happy! ‘Wowie! I forgot I hads this! Imma pay wit it all day!’ Then sneak Stephen steal the old BORING toys and hide THEM so they seems new in the footure! Is the perfect plan big Buther…”

“is that where santa got the idea of sending gifts to people in boxes pappy?”

“Sure is! All the saints be amazing Snas. St. Patrick the lepperkahn invented the color gween. He wanted the cover of the bib-el to be gween, but Jesus say no cause’ people might drop it in the grass and lose it. Not a lot of roads in the B.C. era ya’ know?”

“b.c?”

“Before Concrete.”

RATTLE!

“you’re not supposed to take that much dad…”

“St. Valentine be the Saint of Sweets. He had fan trouble like Babybop.”

“she’s…she’s not babybop papyrus. i keep telling you, alphys-”

“Unfortunately, they not have pastic surgery in B.C, that came AFTER concrete, A.C.”

“i thought a.c. meant air conditioning?”

“In history it mean After Concrete. They used to use A.D. After Dinosaurs, but lossa stuff came after dinosaurs, so they changed it.”

“ohhh...gotcha.”

Sans smiled at his little brother. Despite how annoying he could be with his constant lying, the comedian did in fact admire his ability to come up with bullshit on the fly. It made him wonder how useful he’d be if Sans ever were to actually get a job as a comedian. Comedians themselves were supposed to tell stories about things that happened to them in life whilst making funny commentary along the way, but HE was stuck under a mountain and had no close friends other than Papyrus and possibly Alphys. What was Sans even supposed to talk about when NOTHING ever happened to him? Being an Insult Comic was out as he only had 1 hp and was stuck seeing the same people probably for the rest of his life, puns were a spur of the moment thing and were meant to amuse the teller rather than the audience, ventriloquism wasn’t fair and wouldn’t work unless he somehow hide his text box…was he really stuck with just talking about his little brother behind his back? It certainly seemed that way.

Unless Papyrus wants to make something up for me. I’m sure he would, he’s so cool. I hope I make enough G to share with him…

“So St. Valentine? He was REAL popular. He create chalk-wit and eryone lost their minds! Too many hunnies for the chalk-wit bunny.”

“he was a rabbit pappy?”

“Nope, he was Aztec. Had a weird name baby can’t say or spell good. Quetzycoat? Quozzy motto? Dunno, but it suck…glad he move away and change it to Valentine. Moved allll the way to Europe where he met St. Peter the soon-to-be Easter Bunny. It was St. Valentine that made it happen big Buther. All the hunnies follow him saying stuff like ‘be mine, Valentine!’ and ‘give me yo’ heart!’ Not good to say to an Aztec Snas, even dough it mean something else in Europe.”

“what does it mean in aztec bro?”

“I want to remove your heart.”

Sans sockets went dark, but he chose not to say anything.

I’ll have to work with Papyrus to make sure his stories aren’t too dark before I use them.

“St. Peter got realll jealous when he saw erybody giving Valentine attention. So what if he made chalk-wit? He not cute like Peter Rabbit! St. Peter was fluffy as hell! Where was Valentine’s fluff? NOWHERE! Where was his cotton ball tail? ABSENT! HE DIDN’T EVEN APPRECIATE!”

“ugh, damn pap chill!” cried the comedian, pressing his hand against one of his earholes, “you’re not auditioning for a movie, take it down a notch…”

“I just wanted you to understand the rabbit Snas…”

“i understand the rabbit baby bro, don’t you worry.”

“Kay’. So you know why St. Peter had to steal his secrets to making chalk-wit and build his own factory in England then.”

“no…?”

“Is cause’ he was JEALOUS Snas! Daz why. Being a rabbit wasn’t good enough anymore, he had to be a CHALK-WIT rabbit. St. Valentine took it the wrong way dough, he see the factory and think ‘ohhhh, I gets it! If people can get chalk-wit at the store, then I won’t be popular no mores and people will go way! Dis rabbit is so nice. Dis rabbit is my friend.’ He told Jesus all about St. Peter and how nice he was and cause’ of him, he got to be a saint! Peter Rabbit was grateful too, he wasn’t a bad bunny. All he wanted was some infection…”

“affection.”

“Yeah that. Defection. He thought Valentine was being forgiving and stuff, so they became best friends. They shared recipes and gotted famous erywhere!”

“aww, well that’s nice-”

“…Then St. Peter died of the Black Plague and erything started all over again.”

“y-yeah that’s pretty much how all of your stories end. i don’t know what i was expecting.”

Need to work on his endings too.

“Don’t worry big Buther, there be a happiness dis time. St. Valentine eventually moved again and changed his name to Willy Wonka and people stopped trying to marry him. No one want the last name Wonka Snas.”

“heh, well when you’re right you’re right. papyrus wonka doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue now does it?”

“…”

“what?”

“Don’t ship the baby Snas.”

“*pfft!*”

“Another saint you might know be St. Michael.”

“And what holiday is he ripped from?” asked Gaster, finishing off the water he’d taken with his aspirin. Sans had forgotten he was even in the room.

“Nyeh?” Papyrus looked confused. “Michael not have a holly-day. You cwazy Daddy, nyeh heh heh!”

“No one here is stupid enough to believe you’re going to just SUDDENLY take this conversation seriously Papyrus. St. Michael might be a real saint, but I know-”

“I’s ALWAYS serious!” exclaimed the infant, interrupting the scientist. “Snas the silly bones, not me! Dis a very serious subject and I’s born to TEACH!”

“That is literally the last thing someone with your font should be doing where religion is concerned.”

“St. Michael and St. Peter were really good friends ya’ know…”

“Don’t you ignore me.”

“They pay basketball together once and saved the world even! He still alive too, even today.”

“is…is he talking about michael jorden?”

“I guarantee you, that’s exactly who he’s talking about.”

“He flies like an eagle.”

“Yep.”

“Yeah! Daddy knows! You watched the docky-mentry right? Where the black human went to da’ center of the earth and-”

“Space Jam was NOT a documentary. It was just a video you happened to find at the Dump. You know, the place I’ve asked you countless times not to go? Admittedly, I didn’t actually watch it as I’m none too fond of guilt films, but the soundtrack alone-”

“th-that wasn’t a ‘guilt film’ dad,” said Sans hiding his face in his hands.

Goddamnit…

“It wasn’t? Are you sure?”

“positive.”

“It wasn’t about a black human attempting to join and fit in with a basketball team comprised of monsters?”

“no.”

“Is about St. Michael helping his rabbit friend ah-scape slavery.”

“So it IS a guilt film.”

“no!”

“Let me guess, the black human was their star player and he was the one to save the day?”

“Yeah!”

“Psh.”

“Erybody wanted to be like Mike, so he gave them some magic water dat made them really good at the basketball.”

“He…gave them something to enhance their performance?”

“it wasn’t drugs dad! it wasn’t even really magic. he was trying to teach them that they had the power to be just as good as him, they just needed to believe in themselves. to put it in a way you’d understand, he used the placebo effect to his advantage.”

“Gazebo?”

“Ah, deceit. Very smart…are you sure Mr. Jordan came up with this? I’m not saying all black humans are unintelligent, but he IS in the sports industry, is he not? You two have amassed quite a collection of discarded sports game videos and upon inspection, I see him playing that particular game a lot. Or at least I think I do.”

Too many shaved heads…why do they have to have shaved heads AND matching uniforms? I may as well be watching my own people…

“maybe…? i don’t actually know. pappy and i usually take the video out as soon as we see it’s another taped sports game,” replied Sans, frowning. It really was disappointing to find a video in good condition, only to realize later that it was just another boring tape of a sport they couldn’t play. Even if the boys knew the rules, the Underground didn’t have many if any big open areas where they could play “basketball” or “football.” Whatever ball they used would just go bouncing off the walls of the caverns or sail into the void/water depending on where they were.

It’s too bad, I bet Undyne would love to play one of these.

Usually when he and his brother found one of these tapes, they’d chuck it into the Boring Corner, a place filled with fitness magazines, letters they had opened that ended up containing junk mail advertising things they didn’t understand, and CDs/records/cassettes Papyrus had SOMEHOW restored and found he didn’t particularly enjoy the content of.

“heh heh heh…”

“What’s so funny big Buther?” asked the baby bones smiling.

“cupcakke.”

The infant’s smile disappeared.

“For once, I’m proud of you two. The sports industry is a money-sucking trash heap of wasted potential. So many of these individuals could have been doctors, teachers, law enforcement, scientists like myself, but they chose a career in playing games that should have been left behind in high school. Disgusting.”

“…I wish to learn how to pay the basketball now.”

“Why, because I specifically asked you not to? Why do you want to intentionally cause trouble?”

“Teach me how to dunkin doughnut.”

Sans giggled, “you wanna learn how to dunk pappy?”

He raised his hand.

“Nyeh?! NO! DADDY, DAAADY! HE DOING IT AGAIN! SNAS USING DA’ FORAAAAAHHHH!!!”

THUNK!

CRISH!

Papyrus sailed into the nearby wall and fell into the wastebin overflowing with papers.

“Excellent control Sans.”

“SCU YOU BABY-ABOOZER! YOU NOT FUNNAAHHHH!!” The enraged baby bones thrashed wildly around in the basket, kicking his legs in an attempt to get out. “IMMA SCRIBBLE IN YO’ BOOKS SNAS! SEE HOW GOOD YOU BE AT WITCHCRAFT THEN!!”

“How DID you manage to do that?”

“IT WAS THE DEVIL! THE DEVIL HELP SNAS!”

“i dunno, i just sorta, did it…i saw pap doing something bad and i accidentally flung him while i was pretending to move him…with my mind,” explained Sans, embarrassed. He knew though, that if he wanted an answer himself, he needed to give as many details as possible.

“Hmm, I see.” Gaster attempted to pull Papyrus out of the wastebin using the same method he’d seen Sans use, but failed. He then tried to use it on the comedian himself, but it also had no result. “Huh, that’s VERY interesting. Moving your brother around as you would an ordinary bone attack, in theory, would mean that almost any skeleton could do the same, but that doesn’t seem to be the case.”

“uhh, we aren’t doing anything wrong dad.”

“You are. Your brother knows he can pull himself out with his wingdings, he’s pretending to be stuck and in turn choosing to be dramatic, attention-seeking, and disruptive. YOU are supposed to be looking after your brother, but instead of helping him out of the wastebin, you’re currently speaking to me. You’re BOTH doing something wrong.” Gaster tried one more time to move both boys. “But it seems even when you’re fully aware of your wrongdoings, this karma-induced attack can’t be done, not by my font at least, or perhaps it has something to do with the soul…PAPYRUS!”

“NYEH!” The baby bones jolted in surprise and tumbled forward, rolling out of the basket in a somersault before coming to a halt at his father’s feet. “Nn…what you want stink Daddy who doesn’t help da’ baby?” asked Papyrus smiling and holding his toes.

“You’re full attention. You are a large part of Sans, so surely you too could perform-”

“IMMA LEARN WITCHCRAFT?!”

“That was NOT your full attention.”

“IMMA LEARN WITCHCRAFT!” The baby bounced up and down excitedly, obviously not hearing his father. “Teach me da’ force big Buther and I will spare yo’ books.”

“*sigh*”

Three hours…that was three hours ago.

“three hours and we didn’t get any answers whatsoever.”

“Hey, dat sounds like me Snas!”

“huh?” Looking down, the young skeleton cringed upon realizing he had spaced out again. “sorry baby bro,” he said, giving his brother an apologetic hug. “i swear i don’t do this on purpose, i really am trying to listen, what’d i miss?”

“You asked about the soul-glow and I say is karma. Karma make your soul really bright and stuff so when you die, God go ‘Ooooh! That’s a pretty soul right there! I wants to add it to my collection’ and then he take you to Heaven and puts you on his shelf.”

“*pfft!* is that right? is that how you get into heaven pappy?”

“Yep! Daz why you gots to be good, so you can be part of the Lord’s house! He gots the coolest house ever big Buther. ERYTHING glow in the dark there! He gots souls floating in lava lamps, he gots souls floating in his waterbed, he even gots souls in his floor Snas! His floor be tiled glass and underneath the glass be a special soul that lights up each widdle square-”

“you’re talking about an LED floor.”

“Yeah-huh.”

“a disco floor.”

“Yep, and If you’re reallll good, like, da’ bestest person ever, you get to be his night light.” The little Horror said this like it was the most amazing thing in the world, then looked around the office in apparent confusion. His daddy slept here all the time, so where was HIS nightlight? Did he use the glow of his computer?

“why are you making him sound like a 70s buff?” asked Sans, interrupting the baby’s train of thought.

“Cause’ he is! I readed it in da’ bib-el.” Crawling towards the bookshelf with the still broken cabinets, Papyrus took out the book, hidden in plain view amongst old tomes Gaster had long since read and forgotten about. The baby would have to remember to hide it again somewhere else later, less his daddy see it while fixing the doors.

“i HIGHLY doubt that’s in there.”

“Nope, it is! Is all true Snas! The Lord all about peace! Hugs not guns, compassion’s in fashion, make love not war, he ALL about the 70s.”

His brother frowned, though he was more worried than annoyed. There were some sensitive people out there and some who were just plain awful when it came to THIS particular topic. He remembered after reading, going to several people to ask for more information and being met with criticism for not reading the whole thing himself, and lectures from monsters about certain passages when all he wanted was a translation. There were even a few who got angry at him for certain questions.

“…a mountain of fire and smoke’ that sounds like a volcano. maybe this really did happen-”

“It did!” said a monster enthusiastically, carrying a bag of groceries from Snowdin. “God stood atop the mountain in the ten commandments story and introduced himself, but it frightened the people down below.”

Suddenly, they jumped upon hearing loud laughter erupt from the child.

“hahahahaha!” The comedian leaned forward, almost spilling the contents of the bag he was helping to carry as the monster gave him an irritated look. “What’s so funny?”

“you probably don’t know what a wrestler is, me and my bro have only seen them on old human videos, but they use pyrotechnics to introduce themselves before a match. it sounds like god was trying to use the volcano to look cool and it backfired, hahaha!”

“GOD WASN’T USING PYROTECHNICS!” shouted the monster, completely offended. “That’s ridiculous! He doesn’t HAVE to try to look cool! HE IS COOL!”

“hey, relax, chill! i’m not saying he isn’t cool, i’m just saying he made a funny mistake. to be honest, it makes him seem more real-”

“GOD DOESN’T MAKE MISTAKES! THAT WASN’T A VOLCANO!”

“then why’d he tell everyone not to come near him? volcanos are deadly, it’d make more sense for him to wanna protect his kids right?”

“Looord, give me the STRENGTH not to smack this skeletal child…!”

Sans had stopped asking questions after that.

It just didn’t seem safe, and it wasn’t safe for Papyrus either.

I can’t let Pappy go around saying the things he’s saying near other people. They aren’t going to CARE that he’s just a baby who doesn’t know any better.

He doesn’t, right?

“you know if some people hear you saying this outside the lab, they’re gonna get upset right, bro?”

“No they won’t!”

“oh no?”

“No. They’s gonna be happy to hear me! People listen and they probly think ‘Wowie! That baby sure is informed about our Lord and savior! If he read the bib-el then he can’t be ALL bad, the bib-el teaches you how to be good! I should be this baby’s friend cause’ they probably a good person.”

“that’s…that’s not what’s going to happen pappy. you’re going to get yelled at.”

“Dat’s why I needs to learn the force big Buther!”

“n-”

“So I can defends myself.”

“…you have enough power papyrus, in fact, you’re OVERpowered, heh heh…”

“…”

“get it? overpowered with pow-”

“I doesn’t get it and I doesn’t WANT to get it. Sides’ Chara say you can never have enough power Snas.”

“isn’t your friend dead though? maybe you shouldn’t be taking life advice from the dead baby bro. just a thought.”

“…”

“…i’m sorry, that was mean-”

Papyrus pushed the Bible towards Sans with his foot. “You need Jesus big Buther.”

The book ended up back at the library.

#Fonttale #Fonttale au #Undertale #Undertale au #Papyrus #baby papyrus #sans #kid sans #gaster #baby bones #undertale fanfiction #religion #funny

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the-digimon-tamer · 4 years

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Chapter 40 - Show ‘Em How It’s Done is out now on FanFiction.Net and ArchiveOfOurOwn! Check them out with the links or find it after the break!

Title: The Tamer v2.0 - In HIs Name

Fandom: Digimon

Rating: T

Synopsis: In the next adventure of the Digimon Tamer, the lives of Juri, Rika, and Henry change forever when digimon begin crossing over into the human world. But it’s all just a story, right? Just a book series by an author no one has seen in a long time. Why are they here and can they save their world before something worse follows the digimon?

Zhenyu Lee looked to the Metropolitan Building, holding Xiaochun in his lap as she played with Lopmon who didn’t even try pretending to be a doll. He should’ve expected this mess would’ve gotten worse before it got better. He just wished it would’ve waited a few more days than it had. Henry ran out to help with Terriermon at the first chance - thankfully Xiaochun and Lopmon were convinced against going with them. Now, however, he couldn’t help but wonder if it would’ve been better to let them go.

Then at least they wouldn’t be heading into the Metropolitan Building under heavily armed guard. No sooner after he called his office, Yamaki’s agents came knocking on his door and forced them out into a white SUV waiting in front of the complex. And despite all the traffic and road blocks, the SUV made its way on to the sidewalk without concern for public safety. Was it because the agency was so far above public scrutiny? Or was it because the situation was now that desperate. He wasn’t sure which it was - and that made him all the more anxious.

As they drove past the entrance, he notice the lobby floor was crowded with people who’d taken refuge inside. It would’ve caused a scene to go in that way - so where they were going? The SUV they were in wheeled around the back where several more guards greeted them - some of whom looked like military and out of place with the rest of the guards wearing black suits.

There were other SUVs already there - unloading other families he didn’t recognize until he saw the kids: Kenta and Kazu. The two boys who’d been spending time around Henry as of late. And then there were the Matsuda parents, who definitely didn’t want to be there. Actually, why were they here?

Their son was dead and wasn’t coming back. The last thing they probably wanted was to have anything to do with all this mess. Of course, he got confirmation of that when the father threw a punch as hard as he could at one of the agents - which ended with the others tackling him to the ground and piling on top of him to keep him restrained.

After a moment of struggling, the agents wrestled him back up to his feet and slapped a pair of handcuffs on him as he swore up a storm, “You fucking assholes! Let me go! Let me fucking go! Right the fuck now!”

“Whoa, check it out Kenta! Takato’s dad is going nuts,” Kazu pointed him out.

“Hey! Watch your language! There are kids present,” one of the dad’s said - one who didn’t appear to have any familiar children with him. He was wrapping his hands around the ears of a small boy in the arms of a woman who was definitely his wife. The woman looked around nervously, “I don’t understand. What is all this? Who are you people and why are we here? We haven’t done anything wrong!”

“Ma’am, it’s a matter of national security. We’ll explain more once we’re safely inside. Please, this way,” one of the agents gestured towards a door guarded by two armed soldiers. Zhenyu had an idea of where they were going but wasn’t sure why they needed to take the back entrance - at least until he saw the robot and the floating pink seal thing. Both definitely digimon. At this point, it was obvious who wasn’t quite familiar with digimon right now. Those who weren’t were uneasy or keeping their hands on their weapons. The ones who were used to the sight of digimon didn’t even seem to register that they were there.

They followed the guard inside who led them to a large service elevator that took their group upstairs - past the administrative offices and into the secure area where the Hypnos Program had been operating. Once the elevator doors slid open, the agent released Mister Matsuda’s handcuffs and gestured for them to continue straight ahead into the main room. Matsuda cursed him out but did as he was told - heading straight into the main office where most of the rest of the Monster Makers and the so called digidestined were present.

And for some reason, the fake Takato or Tamer or whatever his name was drawing on the wall with a marker while concluding what must’ve been a long drawn out lecture. Just by a quick glance of the scribbles, he could only assume it had something to do with that other worlds thing he talked about before, “And that’s basically everything up to now. Any questions?”

Several hands shot up into the air and he sighed, “That aren’t about the multiple worlds and realities.”

Only Yamaki’s hand stayed in the air and he asked, “When are you going to stop drawing on my walls?”

“Sorry,” he dropped the marker and scratched the back of his head, “I just figured that a visual aid would help. My mistake.”

“I don’t know why you can’t explain anything without drawing all over walls anyway,” Yamaki picked up the marker and examined it closely, “This is permanent marker!”

The fake Takato apologized again but it didn’t do anything to improve Yamaki’s mood as he threw the marker into a trash bin in a fit of anger, “Dammit, kid. You’re going to give me a freaking aneurysm.”

Tamerkato looked back at the rest of the group and asked, “Okay, anyone else have any other questions?”

That was when Zhenyu noticed several other digimon in the room - a lot of them. He wasn’t surprised to see this but his family-

“AAAH!”

“Whoa cool! There’s more of them! Look Lopmon! More friends for you! And some of them are so cute! But not as cute as you Lopmon! You’re the best! Ooh, one of them is a little birdie!”

“Holy shit! Where do they keep coming from?”

“You’re going to feed us to them, aren’t you?”

“Geez, you humans sure do a lot of screaming,” Terriermon said from somewhere in the crowd, “Hey! Henry! Your dad’s here!”

He should’ve expected his son to end up here - of course Yamaki was going to get everyone he could in an emergency situation like this. Hell, Henry probably only made it down the block before he got picked up. Henry tried jumping to see over the adults and finally ran out of the crowd before seeing the. And the biggest smile appeared on his face, “Dad, you’re alright!”

Then his smile turned to a frown, “What are all you guys doing here?”

“What are we doing here? Henry, what are you doing here of all places?” his wife asked, “What is all this?”

“This…this is what we’ve been all been working on,” Zhenyu explained to his wife, “It’s how we got Xiaochun and the others back safely from the Digital World.”

The explanation didn’t do him any favors, as she was obviously annoyed with the whole thing. Trying to avert her attention to something else, he instead asked, “What I want to know is why are we here?”

Yamaki massaged his temple, “All important persons needed to be on deck - since some of the important persons were minors, it was decided their families should be brought too to mitigate any child labor laws and blah blah blah. -”

Mister Matsuda cut him off and roared, “Families? We are not families! That thing-”

He gestured at Tamerkato angrily and added, “-isn’t my son. He’s one of those things-”

He pointed at the digimon, “-wearing his face!”

“They can do that?” his wife asked.

The panic quickly spread to the other parents who were now weary of the children, “Wait, so are these kids even our kids or-”

“Alright, enough,” the not-Takato stamped his foot angrily, “I’m sorry. Your son is gone. I can’t fix that. Believe me, this is as awkward and painful for me as it is for you. But we don’t have time for this! I’m trying to-”

“I don’t care what you want or what you’re trying to do. What I want is to get the hell out of this city before that thing kills us all!” Mister Matsuda roared again, turning to leave. Two of the agents tried to stop him but blocking his exit only seemed to make him angrier. Thankfully he didn’t try throwing any punches this time since these agents had no reservations about keeping their hands on their guns. It also helped that his wife was trying to calm him down.

“Actually, I’d like to know why we’re here too,” another of the adults finally spoke - a woman wearing a kimono asked. She seemed really out of place here, especially holding a toddler in her arms who excitedly oohed at all the digimon present and kept reaching for them to play with. The woman held the boy closer and asked, “We don’t know any of you people and we were out looking for our daughter Juri before any of this happened. Where is she and what does she have to do with any of this?”

“Yeah, I’d like an answer to that as well,” the man beside this woman asked, obviously the husband. The school teacher came forward, “Your daughter is part of the problem. It’s a long story and we don’t have time to explain it all. The short version is she’s in that thing and we’re trying to come up with a plan to stop it that doesn’t involve killing her.”

“What do you mean she’s in that thing!?” the man demanded, “How can my daughter be in that!? I know she’s involved in all this but what the hell does this have to do-”

“Her partner died in the Digital World. That trauma, that loss, became the catalyst for that thing to take over her body. Her spirit. It’s possessing her, riding her like a costume while it goes around to continue its mission of learning, becoming stronger, and destroying anything it deems too strong,” Not-Takato explained to him.

The man didn’t seem to buy any of this and crosses his arms angrily, “Bullshit, I’ve heard a lot of crap over the last few days and I’ll be damned if I’m going to believe any of that. Juri’s strong.”

“Apparently not as strong as you’d like to think,” he fired back.

“How dare-”

“Look, believe it or not, your daughter is in there and she needs saving,” not-Takato interrupted angrily. A pause followed as one of the digimon, a horned lizard wearing a pelt raised its hand to ask, “So how are we going to separate the Digital Worlds and make sure only the digimon are on the...whatever one.”

Not-Takato’s face turned grim as he answered, “I’ll need to go back to the Bastion and fire up some Guardian tech-”

“Ancient tech,” the detective interrupted. Not-Takato sighed, “Same thing. It’s going to use the data from the Natural Digital World to separate the two worlds and pull them apart. But to make sure we get the digimon, I need help scanning the entire Digital World in as short amount of time as possible.”

“Perfect plan. It’s a good thing you’ve got us!” the detective said, raising up his digivice and his work partner. A pause followed before he turned to the others, “What about you, mister noodle chef?”

A man wearing an apron uncrossed his arms and smiled wide, ““Yeah, I’m game for this. How about you, Veemon?”

“Alwaysh! I’ve been raring to get back into the action!” a little blue dinosaur with horns shouted. Both men excitedly fist bumped as the cook declared, “Alright! Ken and Davis are back in action. What do we need to do?”

“Wait, Ken?” Ryo stammered in disbelief, approaching the detective with wide eyed shock, “Ken?”

Not-Takato snapped his fingers and hurried over to one of the computers, “We’ll need technology from the Bastion - it’ll do a scan of the Digital World for all digimon. Artificial and Natural. No one’s going to die on my watch. We use the archive of…wait, where’s Izzy’s laptop? We need that. It has the database of the Digital World on it which I can use to help pull apart the two Digital Worlds.”

“Still no idea,” Yamaki said, “It could be a while before we find them.”

“Well, no more time for discretion,” Not-Takato turned to Rika, “How do you feel about finding your parents?”

“Can do,” she gave a thumbs up. His smiles widened, “You’re a life saver Rika. Find them and bring them here.”

Daisy clapped her hands together excitedly and hurried over to her computer, “This is getting kind of exciting! Well, if you guys are going to the Digital World, it only makes sense to do some reconnaissance first. Make sure things are safe! The last thing you guys need is to land in a mess. Let’s see if the Ark can handle some updates and attach a camera program to it.”

“Ark? It seems like you’ve all been quite busy while I’ve been away. I’d like to see what you all have created without me,” a familiar voice said excitedly. Then Shibumi appeared, half balding with a mullet growing from what remained of his hair and a bushy beard growing on his face. He was certain this man was dead after being gone for so long but here he was - alive and acting like he hadn’t been missing for the last few years. Zhenyu was so taken aback by this that he couldn’t help but blurt out, “SHIBUMI!?”

The man stopped in his tracks and waved at him with a stupid half grin, “Oh, hello Tao. You’re graying now.”

So much for a friendly greeting, “And you’re balding.”

…

Henry covered his face to hide his embarrassment upon hearing his dad’s nickname. Was that always his dad’s name? He had no idea he even had a nickname - especially not one that sounded so pretentious. He needed to get his mind off this conversation and looked back at Tamerkato, “So you’re going to the Digital World...worlds to rip them apart. What about the rest of us here? Because we’re not just going to be sitting around and fighting that thing didn’t exactly do us any good in the Digital World or here.”

“Actually, fighting is exactly what I need you guys to do,” Tamerkato adder with a snap of his fingers. This angered Monodramon who promptly snapped, “He said we just tried that! It didn’t work! What part of that were you not listening to?”

“The part where you guys weren’t listening to me. You’re not attacking it to defeat it, you’re attacking it to get its attention off the Digital World,” Tamerkato explained to them. Henry was confused now and was sure this was the rampant insanity the others were so wear of, “It’s not in the Digital World. It’s here.”

Tamerkato nodded in agreement, “You’re right. It is here. And there. It’s…complicated. Part of its consciousness is here in the Human World. The other part of its conscious is in the Digital World. It may be smart but it can only pay attention to so many things happening at once. If you make enough noise here in this world, it’ll pull it’s attention away from the Digital World.”

“But wouldn’t all the fighting in the Digital World already do that?” Renamon asked, “We left the Digital World just as it turned into a war zone!”

“That’s right! The Digital World was a battlefield!” Gatomon called out with a pointed claw. Tamerkato held up two fingers, “That’s the other advantage. If it’s busy paying attention over here, it’ll give the digimon on the other side a better fighting chance. The mission here is to save as many lives as we can until the plan is ready to act out.”

“Okay, but there are two other parts of this plan we still haven’t figured out. How do we stop the D-Reaper here in this world? It’s not like turning off that computer will stop it here,” Yamaki said matter of factly. Tamerkato gestured at the building around, “I thought that part of the plan was obvious? You guys built a weapon that targets Digital Life! Specifically, it sucks Digital Life back into the Digital World. Once the worlds are separated, we put our digimon back into the Natural Digital World. Then fire the weapon to send the D-Reaper back to the Artificial World. Once it’s off, we turn this-”

“Um, guys,” Daisy called to get their attention, waving her hand in the air, “Either my camera program is messed up or the situation in the Digital World is a lot more chaotic than I realized.”

She turned the monitor around to face them and showed them the screen. The sight was something to behold - not in grand awe but in terror. The Digital World they had left just the day before had become a fiery hell scape - barren wastes burning to ash while countless digimon battled for their lives against a growing tide of red with no end in sight. Everyone crowded around the monitor so Daisy presses a few more keys to get it on multiple monitors. Despite that, it was obvious to everyone what was on the screen.

The digimon that could be made out on the small screen appeared to be retreating away from the mass as they threw everything they had at it. Some even made a run for the ship, pleading into the camera for some kind of help before being pulled back into the fight by another digimon. Patamon gasped, “The Digital World did NOT look like that when we left.”

“Time’s been moving differently between the worlds. A couple of hours out here turned into weeks in there,” Sora explained quietly, “Remember, you guys were only gone for about a day our time.”

At that announcement, Gatomon became furious, “Days passed in the Digital World already? We need to go back! We need to-”

“We already have a plan remember?” Tamer interrupted her quickly, snapping his fingers at the remaining digimon whose partners weren’t present, “Which brings up another thing. You guys are going to need to find your partners if you’re going to be of help. Soon as we get out there, the better.”

“We’ll make sure they get to ‘em,” Rika said with a hand on her hips as she moved towards Palmon and Tentomon, “Mom and dad are going to freak out when they see you guys.”

“I bet I’ll freak out more! Oh, I can’t wait to see Izzy again!” Tentomon remarked. It was hard to miss the nervous look on Rika’s face as it seemed she didn’t quite have the heart to tell the digimon about what had happened to his partner. And he was sure it was not going to be a fun conversation.

“Wait a second...mom and dad?” Palmon repeated. That was another subject she wasn’t sure she was ready for. Trying to take her mind off the subject, Rika took out her D-Terminal and started typing into it, “I’m going to message them now to see where they are. Then we’ll take you.”

“Then we’ll head to the Digital World once the attack begins,” Tamerkato stated, “As soon as its attention is pulled, we can head on our way.”

“You’re forgetting the other part of this plan of yours,” Yamaki interrupted again before gesturing at Juri’s parents, “How are you going to save the girl? You said no one else is going to die, right? Well how does that figure into your plan?”

Tamerkato frowned, “Still working that part out. I’m thinking this up by the seat of my pants.”

“That’s...that’s now how the saying goes,” Yamaki groaned. Juri’s father added, “You’re telling me you don’t even have a plan to save my daughter!?”

“Thirty minutes ago, I didn’t have a plan to save either of these miserable rocks! Give it time. I’ll come up with something.” Tamerkato interjected with a smile. Unfortunately, Yamaki didn’t share his optimism, “I seriously doubt we have thirty minutes.”

…

Mimi rolled her husband’s chair down the busy street as quickly as she could, but everything was in chaos. Stopped cars blocked most major intersections, abandoned by their drivers in terror of the flocks of bird creatures blocking out the sky overhead. People ran in terror every way they could, with police and military trying their best to maintain order while shooting into the sky at the bird creatures swarming the city. And now of all times, her husband decided to start playing with his D-Terminal, “Honey! What the hell? That isn’t the time for that!”

“It’s Ruki! She’s says she’s on her way and wants to know where we are!” he answered, looking up from the screen long enough to take in his surroundings, “Let’s see. This looks like...gah, I don’t even recognize what ward we’re in. Where are we?”

Mimi couldn’t believe his forgetfulness but tried to remind herself of his missing leg. He was very medicated and probably was only half aware of everything going on, “Are you kidding? Honey, we’re on Meiji-Dori Avenue and Shinjuku-Dori Avenue! We’re right in front of the police station!”

“Oh, right!” he said as he started typing on the device. She heard a beep which meant Ruki replied but she couldn't focus on that now. She had to find their way to the Metropolitan Building. But that was easier said than done at this point. The whole city had become an obstacle course with all the people, cars, and debris obstructing their path. And there was no way her husband would be get around most of it in his wheelchair. This was just like when they were kids, only now they didn’t have their partners with them. Worse was knowing that their only daughter was running around out there in the middle of all this. Then she had a realization, “Wait, did you say...Ruki’s on her way?”

He nodded and gave a frown, “Yeah, with a surprise. I have no idea what that means. I’m hoping her rebellious streak isn’t going to appear as some kind of half thought out rescue attempt! We really need to do something about that.”

“She only acts out because you disappeared!” she pointed out to her husband.

“Hey! That only happened because I was forcibly taken against my will!” he argued back, pausing as he took a look around, “This is bad. We should get off the street and get out of here before-”

He was cut off mid sentence as one of the bird creatures stopped in front of them. It was horrifying to have to look at one so close in front of them like this. Mimi had never seen one so up close and wasn’t sure what to think of it being so close in front of her. At least, that was what she thought until she realized its eyes weren’t eyes at all. It was some kind of gross facsimile - like eyes were a thing it had only ever heard of before. It’s true eyes were on its wings - big yellow orbs that did something akin to a blink as its pupils darted every which way. Then it spoke with a mechanical rasp like knives digging into sheet metal, “Image data sent. Resuming search!”

“Search for this!”

Kyubimon descended from a rooftop and landed atop the creature. It barely reacted to being slammed into the ground, almost like it didn’t even know it had been hit. Instead it tried to maneuver its wings to look at her in vain as Kyubimon swiped into its eyes with her claws until it burst into data, “Finally. We killed one. These things shouldn’t be as hard to kill as they are. Are you both alright?”

“Yes, we’re fine. Where’s Ruki?” he asked in a panicked tone, “We thought she was with you.”

Kyubimon turned her head behind her, looking towards Rika running towards them with a cactus in her arms and a large ladybug fluttering behind...Palmon and Tentomon. Palmon complained, “How much further? I want to see Mimi!”

“She’s over there,” Rika said, gesturing towards her mother, “And there’s dad too.”

“Dad?” Tentomon paused, taking one good look at Koushiro in the wheel chair with his missing leg, “IZZY!?”

“Tentomon!” Izzy called out in amazement, reaching out his arms so that his bug partner digimon could land in them. Mimi stepped aside as Palmon leapt into her own arms, “Mimi! Is it really you!? You’re a lot taller than I remember. And a lot prettier too!”

“Ruki, is this?” She began to ask.

“You bet.”

“This is the best surprise you could’ve given us,” Mimi said tearfully, holding her partner close. She’d dreamt of seeing her partner again for so long that she wasn’t sure it would ever actually happen. And here she was - in her arms. She was so happy she could feel herself getting ready to cry. Tentomon and Izzy were having their own moment too, mostly with Tentomon demanding to know why his leg was missing and what exactly had happened while they were away.

Rika put a hand to her hips, “Well, I figured if anyone was going to bring your partners to you, it should be me. You’re welcome, mom. Dad.”

“There it is again! Why do you keep calling her mom?” Palmon repeated.

“Wait a second. Dad?” Tentomon did the same. Both digimon pulled away from their partners in surprise. Then Palmon blurted out, “Mimi, is she-”

“That’s right,” Mimi beamed proudly, looking over to her daughter with the biggest smile on her face. Koushiro turned his partner around to face their daughter, “Palmon. Tentomon. Meet our daughter. Ruki.”

Both digimon had mouths wide open in a shock and surprise. Rika was sure they were just trying to take everything in until eventually Palmon gasped, “GOSH! DOES THIS MEAN YOU TWO GOT MARRIED!? WITHOUT INVITING US!?”

“Well, we didn’t know where you guys were at the time,” Koushiro offered defensively as their two digimon became increasingly agitated over the fact that they missed out on one of the most important times in their partner’s lives. Made all the worse by the knowing that they weren’t even aware it happened. Rika whistled to get their attention and pointed out, “Not to ruin the moment guys but we still have a city to save. Well, a city and a world. We can talk about all this later.”

“I don’t understand though, how did this happen?” she asked their daughter. Rika was already busy taking a hold of her father’s wheel chair and pushing him off the main road into a side street, “It’s a long story and it involves goggle head. Like a lot of goggle head. He has a plan though-”

“Oh hell no, last time his plans got my mom, your grandmother, killed!” Mimi snapped angrily, gasping when she realized she’d just said that in front of her daughter. Ruki waved her hands up in agreement, “Don’t get me wrong, I don’t like his plans or ideas any more than you do but we know the whole plan so there’s no surprises. At least, no surprises we won’t expect.”

“Oh, and what’s that?” her husband asked with a tone that indicated scholarly curiosity. She knew that tone too well to know they were n for a long question and answer session. Rika shrugged, “First, we need to get you back to the others at that government place. They need you to fix that juggernaut program.”

“NO! I will not work on that again,” he abruptly refused. It wasn’t hard to understand why - he hated that project and all it did to him. And knowing what it did to digimon made her hate it as well. And using it was a part of Tamer’s plan? To hell with that. Even so, Rika tried to explain, “Look, the others will tell you more when you get there. Something about how that weapon is the only thing that’ll work on that thing!”

She gestured at the growing red mass in the center of the city. There was no doubt about its size but the fact that using Juggernaut was their only option made them uneasy. And if Tamer was involved, “What exactly is his plan?”

“It was a lot of technobabble but it sounds like he wants to split the Digital World and turn it off? Look, I kinda spaced out on it,” Rika admitted to them. There was Rika reflecting her mother. It seemed they had other things in common besides disliking Tamer. Rika looked at their partners for some kind of help and Palmon answered, “Well don’t look at me. I can never follow the stuff he’s saying. Guy talks a mile a minute.”

Her husband sighed, “At least you’re honest about it.”

He turned his wheelchair to face her, “I’m going to stop them from fixing the Juggernaut, even if it means I have to destroy the computer myself.”

He sounded so sad when he said that. She knew he loved computers almost as much as he loved her - and the idea of destroying one probably went against everything he stood for. Especially one he helped to build. Kyubimon sighed, “To fill in the gaps that Rika left out - Tamer’s planning on splitting the two Digital Worlds so that all the digimon occupy one world and that thing occupies the other. Then we use the Juggernaut to send that thing from this world to the other Digital World. To do that we-”

Kyubimon stopped mid sentenced, staring straight at her. Mimi took a step back, “What?”

“It heard me,” she replied. What? Mimi turned around to see one of the bird creatures standing there staring at them. She practically jumped backwards in surprise, wondering just how long that thing had been standing there and how much of that it had heard. It registered that they were now staring at it and ascended skyward to get away.

Mimi cursed, “Crap.”

“Well that complicates things,” her husband added quietly, turning his wheelchair again, “We need to go to the tower.”

“What, why?” Palmon asked, “I thought we were supposed to distract that thing?”

“Don’t you get it, Palmon? It knows! If it knows, it’s going to protect itself. It’s going to attack the tower now!” Tentomon pointed out, “And everyone is still up there!”

“Oh…oh no! All those people! Sora! Biyomon! They’re all up there!” Palmon gasped. Rika cursed her luck, “Do you have your digivices?”

“Always,” the parents said together; she reached into her coat pocket to hold up her digivice and her husband reached into the bag on his wheelchair to show his. Rika smiled and Mimi understood why. What they had here was a rare opportunity for a family bonding activity. It may not have been the typical family bonding experience that most people wanted - but there was no denying that having this in common was nice.

Rika nodded, “Okay...and Tamer also said we need your laptop. Do you have it?”

“Laptop?” Koushiro repeated quietly, “Oh, yes. I know which laptop. And yes. I always have it.”

He reached into his backpack and produced an old yellow laptop with a pineapple insignia on the back. The one he’d had from their first trip to the Digital World. The one thing she was never able to convince him to let go of. It seemed he was right to always hang on to it. There was a noise in the distance that caught their attention and they looked towards its source at the Shinjuku Towers. The bird creatures were now converging on the Tokyo Metropolitan Government Building. And they were the only ones who knew why. Rika produced a blue card from her deck and Koushiro held out his digivice to his partner, “Like old times, right honey?”

“Let’s show our daughter how it’s done,” she said in agreement. Both of their partners jumped to their feet excitedly, “Oh! We missed this!”

“Tentomon! Warp Digivolve to! HerculesKabuterimon!”

“Palmon! Warp Digivolve to! Rosemon!”

Mimi noticed her daughter’s mouth falling wide open in surprise at their forms, “Whoa! When did you guys get to have Mega level digivolutions?”

For once, she was doing something her daughter was interested in. She tussled the girl’s hair and added, “Takeru didn’t publish all of our adventures, y’know? Remind us to tell you about it some time.”

“Then let me show you what we can do,” Rika said, raising her digivice and swiping a strange blue card from her deck through it, “Digimodify! Digivolution Activate!”

Light enveloped her partner and Mimi watched in astonishment as Kyubimon began to digivolve. Digivolution at will through a card game.

“Kyubimon! Digivolve to! Taomon!”

The look on her husband’s face was priceless. He stammered out, “Your partner is...you used a card from the card game to...that is...I have so many questions!”

“Oh boy, Izzy is losing his mind again,” HerculesKabuterimon cackled. Then the people screamed and panicked even louder. The sight of not one, but three new large digimon appear so suddenly sent the already panicked populace into a bigger panic as they fled away. Mimi buried her face in her hands and groaned, “Oh right. We’re out in the city.”

“We should go. All of us,” Taomon stated matter of factly, scooping up Rika in her arms, “Hang on Rika.”

“You’re right! Let’s go to that tower!” Rosemon agreed. HerculesKabuterimon took up Mimi in one hand and Izzy in the other, using a third to hold his wheel chair. With a loud buzz, his wings took them to the air and they were off with Rosemon and Taomon following close behind. It was just like old times. HerculesKabuterimon used his large frame to protect them from the many bird creatures and the soldiers shooting at them from below. Meanwhile, Rosemon cleared a path forward through the cloud of bird creatures using her whip and guided them safely through the horde. At least she did until she realized the bird creatures weren’t trying to stop them. They were actually trying to make their way to the tower to attack - at which point she turned around and started thinning their numbers to stop as many of them as she could.

“Rosemon!” Mimi called out in awe of her partner’s decision.

“I need to hold them back!” Rosemon shouted.

“Save your strength! This is marathon, not a race,” Taomon declared, flicking out a slip of paper from her hands and throwing them, “Thousand Spells!”

The talisman split into a thousand pieces of paper that flew in every direction, exploding on impact with any of the bird creatures that were following close behind. Then she retrieved her brush with that same hand and drew a symbol in the air, “Talisman Spell!”

The symbol expanded in size until it formed a barrier in the shape of the yin-yang symbol - stopping the creatures in their tracks as they slammed into it like birds into a glass window pane. With their path clear, they continued onward towards the roof of the towers as bird creatures from around the city began to converge on their location.

Once they were set on the roof, Mimi grabbed a hold of her husband’s wheelchair and said, “We’ll head straight to the others and warn them.”

“Okay, we’ll stay out here and hold the rest of them back!” Rika said in agreement, looking back to the three digimon. Mimi couldn’t help but feel aglow with pride as her daughter gave her a thumbs up. She cheered, “Rosemon, show her how it’s done!”

“We’ve got this Mimi,” Rosemon said, leading the digimon as she looked back to the growing crowd of alien bird creatures. She didn’t wait a second longer. She pushed her husband and hurried her way into the building. As soon as they were inside though, Mimi realize the foolishness of her plan once she gazed at the many stairs that led down. Koushiro looked back at his wife, “Are you sure you want to do this?”

“You must be stupid if you think I’m letting you out of my sight again, Mister Izumi,” Mimi laughed, turning his wheelchair around so that she could guide him down. She took the first step backwards, taking care to pull her husband’s chair so that he didn’t slip or fall out. It took them a good minute to clear the first flight and get to the first landing. That was one down. Who knows how many more to go?

#The Digimon Tamer v2 - In His name #Digimon Tamers #Digimon #Fanfiction #Chapter 40 #Takato Matsuda #Rika Nonaka

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wheremytwinwatches · 4 years

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[Where My Twin Watches]: Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood Episode 28

Last time: We had a “Surprise, you’re shipping my son and my great-granddaughter” scare, unresolved Season 2 issues gave way to a recap episode, and Beard argued with himself. Onwards!

Straight into the Crush Flower/Spare Flower intro this time (still can’t get over young!Armstrong crying GUH), let’s hurry up and get some answers! A fanged skull being used as a candle-holder? Obviously the laboratory of a reputable scientist! So yeah, Gluttony’s just shown Al into Father’s lab (who isn’t in his chair for once, did he actually go fishing?), Al and Shao are just a little freaked out at the interior decoration. Gluttony doesn’t give them time to settle down though, calls out for Father- What. Oh my goodness. Father is Papa Elric? Who would have ever guessed. What a shock.

Episode 28 - “Father” So! Awkward family reunion time! I’m sure that Al has lots of questions. But surprisingly, Father isn’t that happy that Gluttony just opened the door for a Protagonist, Gluttony’s in a heck of a lot of pain. Father targeting his Stone, somehow? A deadman’s switch if any Goths went against him directly? Oh! Jeez, I’d almost forgotten about how Ed, Ling, and Envy were forcing their way out of a Leto-forsaken pocket dimension. Jailbreak! Al’s a little concerned to see a titanic monster burst out of Gluttony, but is distracted by seeing his brother and the freeloading prince alive. Easy with the hugs, Al! After the brothers get their “OML I’M SO GLAD YOU’RE NOT DEAD” out of the way, time to talk with pops. Who… notes their metal limbs/body, and asks if they’re the Elric Brothers? Hold on, what? He doesn’t recognize his own kids? But he saw Ed in Resembool just a while ago, how- Oh. OH! D’oh, it’s so obvious. Dude’s made artificial humans with fragments of his own personality, is that kind of guy really going to do drudge work when he can pass it on to others? And someone who makes “superior beings” out of himself is too vain to just hire common workers, oh no. Why stop at making only seven Goths, when you can make a couple more to keep the place clean? Yup, Uncle asks if they mean von Hohenheim, is surprised (and pleased?) to learn that the guy has children. More confused as to why they call themselves the Elrics, learning that it’s their mother’s name just has him ask where Hohenheim’s been if not with his kids. See, Beard/Father? Even your clones think that you’re being a jerk. Ouch, Ed’s still a bit beat up from the escape (so wait, are Envy, Gluttony, and Ling just hanging out by the wall while this is going on), and Al’s missing his hand. Didn’t Ed bring that back? Let’s go ahead and- uh. Um. Uncle just Transmuted Al’s hand back, and fixed Ed’s arm. And then Ed’s broken ribs as well. Without any Transmutation Circles, no movement, and without drawing on any pre-existing materials. [Ed/Al]: “There isn’t any Equivalent Exchange!” EEC: 10 And with that, Uncle goes from “quirky household help” to “terrifyingly powerful Goth”. Ling points out that he’s obviously not human- [Uncle]: “I would ask who you are, but I honestly don’t care.”

While Ling stands shocked at the utter disrespect, Uncle just walks away and says Gluttony can eat him. Whoa dude, hold on. Maybe the Elrics can argue that if Uncle wants them to be well, he should spare their friend? Nope, Uncle DNGAF about an insect such as What’s-his-name. Ed? Ed buddy, I know that you’re the hotheaded Anime Protagonist, but maybe this is the time for a strategic retreat? Maybe you shouldn’t attack the dude who can do freeform Transmutation, and who has two Goths waiting just off to the side? Or you could Earthbend at him, whatever. Guys? Guys, please think about what you’re doing. Uncle here is a minion of Father, and he’s powerful enough Transmute without EC. You’re facing the Big Bad’s Dragon here, and the show’s barely halfway through. You need to get out of there, now. Envy’s attacking the kids now, and they’re all but ignoring the Titan!Goth to try and hit Uncle, who at most raises a hand to block Al’s attack, then sends Ling flying. This is not a fight you can win, and I can tell Uncle’s patience is running out. He takes one step forward… Uncle takes a single step, and the sheer force of his power radiates through the room, to Scar and May where they face the chimeras, and even out to Beard himself as he apparently is still on his fishing trip. Point is, dude’s strong. Ed and Al snap out of their shock, strike the ground… ok, good, they’ve finally realised they’re outmatched and are surrendering. Or… not? [Ed/Al]: “What’s going on? I can’t Transmute!”

Oooooh Leto. That’s not good. Not only is Uncle ludicrously strong, but they can make an anti-Alchemy field? And one that’s selective, too; Ed and Al have been depowered, but Envy can still smash them into the ground. Envy mocks them as lower life forms, blathering about how humans don’t even understand their own power. (Oooh, sudden thought. If that implies that Alchemy comes from Truth, and we can assume that the Elrics are gonna defeat Truth to get Al’s soul back, is that going to disrupt Alchemy as a whole? Is Amestris going to have to reorganize around not having magic?). Uncle tells Envy to shut up, then says that Ling may be useful after all. Holy crud, the intro was right. That was Ling standing with the Goths? Hoo boy, Lan Fan is not going to be happy when she hears about this. Envy’s expositing that Uncle’s got the Stone in his bloodstream, and can spread it to others to create Human Homunculi. All Ed and Al can do is pound hopelessly at the ground, crying about how they’ve lost their powers and can’t do anything. But wait! Ed has the pistol! But before Ed can/has to use the gun, Ling yells at him to stay out of it. [Ling]: “I came to your land to find a Philosopher’s Stone, and now this guy wants to give me one! I’m not gonna turn this down!” Come on, Ling! You’re going to go through what Bradley did, stay strong! Battle of the mind again, Ling’s floating in a sea of tortured red souls, when ok here’s Father’s Sin. You… you can do it Ling? Ok, ok good! Don’t fight the Sin (assuming Greed, not Lust), but work with it, be unconventional! [Ling]: “I said come! I freely accept you!” [Greed]: “Y’know, people normally reject me.” But Ling is anything but normal. Future Emperor of Xing here (disregarding the whole “making the guy whose job I want immortal” thing, but whatever). Greed at least is amused by Ling’s ambition. And yeah, as much as I applauded the first Greed for acting so Slytherin (views subordinates as possessions, angry that someone would steal from him by harming them), if Ling does end up going Goth then there’s no better way than a quest for power, to provide for his people.

Ling goes into the light… And Greed wakes up. Damnit. So yeah. Ling’s gone, replaced by the new Greed. Ed and Al frantically plead for Ling to remember, to answer them, but no dice. Greed just stands there and smirks at them. Door? Someone else coming to the party? Oh hey, Scar and May! About time you showed up! Ok, ok, let’s get the important stuff out of the way; Shao reunited with May? Check! Scar finally realizing that the Elrics aren’t working with the Goths? Check! May finally seeing Ed, and all her romantic dreams being shattered in a tragic and hilarious fashion? Check! Gluttony points out the Ishvalan, and Uncle lets him loose. Crap, and they don’t have their Alchemy, Scar’s Hand O’ Doom won’t- work?! And May, too? All right, the effect’s worn off! Or not, the Elrics are still depowered. Well, when punching won’t work, try talking. And what better thing to say that tell Scar that the one responsible for the destruction of his people is standing right in front of him? Scar… does not take this revelation calmly. Like, May’s backing away from the fury of Yoki’s servant. And Uncle’s going to have a bit of a mess to clean up after all this is over. Uncle orders Greed to eliminate the outsiders, Ed tries to run interference and talk Ling back into control, and May’s fleeing from Gluttony. Uncle’s in his Investigative mode, ports right behind Scar to ask how he’s still using his Alchemy. Scar goes for the Hand O’ Doom, and Uncle just stands there, and calmly works through the technique. Scar’s freaked. And almost killed, Leto! May pauses for one second at seeing Scar hurt, and gets struck by Gluttony for her concern. Thankfully Al comes in for the save and gets the protesting May outside. Where there are chimera waiting, great. Ok, Scar’s there now but injured, the chimera are still massed, and both Gluttony and Envy are heading directly for them. Al tells Scar to take May and run, since he’s the one who at least will survive facing them. But Scar refuses and grabs his helmet, throws it to make a spark. Big boom! The smoke clears as Al grabs his helmet, only to get grabbed by Envy in turn. Looks like Scar and May escaped in the cover, so Gluttony’s ordered to sniff them down. Thankfully all of Scar’s HOD’s at least disrupted Gluttony’s regeneration ability so he can’t do much more than lay there and smoke. And OH MY LETO I just realized where the Ishvalan and Xings went to. Hopefully it goes better for them than it did for Martel. Greed’s fighting Ed, Ed’s still screaming for Ling to take back control. Knocks Greed down, challenges him about his country and Lan Fan- OH. That right there, Ling not blocking the punch and just glaring at Ed? Maybe it’s false hope, maybe I just don’t want Ling to go the way of Hughes, but I’m getting a message of “dude, stfu and stop trying to blow my cover” from that glare. Please please please let this be a ploy to enter the Goth circle as a spy.

Greed captures Ed and Uncle orders him to be taken upstairs to Wrath. Accusing them of “treason” and throwing in jail, maybe? Ed’s calmed down now, whispers to Al what he’s discovered/hopes for: Ling is still alive. End credits! Hoooooo boy. Lots of stuff this episode, lots of setup. Looking forward to next week, let’s give Uncle a bit of time to tidy up before the Elrics wreck his stuff again.

#wmtw #where my twin watches #full metal alchemist #full metal alchemist brotherhood #fmab #fmab 28

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arlingtonpark · 4 years

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SNK 123 Review

Dude’s face could be green and his eyes yellow and it would not look out of place.

Also his face looks like it’s been split in two. What a weird deformity...

Attack on Titan is not a series about reconciliation. This is a series about fighting. That doesn’t tell us much though, because while SNK is about fighting, mercy, even while fighting, has also been emphasized.

So really this boils down to whether the series considers what Eren is doing to be a justified use of force.

The big worry is that it does.

The story emphasizes the need to fight and even kill people who try to harm you. Oh, and throw in some potentially nihilistic references to differing ideologies and how there are no heroes, just people with differing motives.

This would seem to be contradictory, but it really isn’t. If people who cause harm are bad, how could the series be nihilistic?

Simple: the lynchpin is that the world is intrinsically violent, and nothing else. There are no meaningful values in this world, just groups with irreconcilable ideologies, which means violence is inevitable, so it’s survival of the fittest and you have to be ready to kill to protect yourself.

So it could be that the highest value is maximizing your own happiness, AKA egoism.

You see this kind of crap often on places like Reddit and 4chan. You know what I’m talking about. Edgelords.

This kind of logic is repeated often by Eren stans and it’s annoying because it’s wrong. And if this actually is the moral of the story, then the story itself is wrong.

There are two really annoying ideas I want to tackle:

1. The Rumbling is justified because we live in a cruel, intrinsically violent world, so peace is not possible.

Whether intentional or not, I often see people arguing that the Rumbling is justified not because peace isn’t possible in this specific situation, but because humanity in general is violent and insular.

It is very common for people to believe that conflict is just a fact of life. “The world is cruel” as many people are saying. Unfortunately that is incorrect.

In 1986, a conference of social scientists was held in Seville, Spain and they released a statement on common misconceptions about human nature and violence. This statement was subsequently endorsed by organizations the world over, like the American Psychological Association and UNESCO.

That statement, which reflects the overwhelming scientific consensus, declared the following:

It is scientifically incorrect to say warfare is a natural phenomenon.

It is scientifically incorrect to say that violence happens because “it’s genetics.”

It is scientifically incorrect to say that humans are violent because “it’s survival of the fittest”/ “it’s kill or be killed” / anything to do with evolution.

It is scientifically incorrect to say humans are violent because “We have violent brains.”

It is scientifically incorrect to say that people make war instinctively.

Warfare is not a natural phenomenon because it involves tools. It is facilitated by language and institutions like governments, ideologies, and religions. Those don’t exist amongst animals.

Ducks, for example, don’t fight each other because the duck!Pope declared a holy war.

And yet the series directly draws a parallel between animals hunting other animals and slavers attacking children.

The slavers prey on Mikasa and later Eren, just like, the story claims, how a grasshopper preys on a butterfly, or a human preys on a duck.

This is not a good analogy.

The slavers were influenced by incentives and institutions that don’t exist in nature. They were going to sell Mikasa for the money, money they could then use to buy alcohol and drugs. It’s their job, they did it to earn a living.

What they did was not just inhumane, it was commerce. If there were no economy, they would not have done that. Markets are an institution that shaped their actions, as did the institution of slavery.

The grasshopper killed the butterfly because it needed the sustenance. That’s it.

This is not to excuse what they did. Humans are compelled by many factors to act as they do, but that doesn’t make anything right, or even morally neutral.

Mikasa’s father killing the duck is more analogous to the grasshopper and butterfly than the slavers and kids. There’s no through line connecting the two.

This is an example of SNK trying to be insightful and not really succeeding. It’s because of this that I’ve always been apprehensive about what exactly this manga is trying to say. There are moments like when Levi Squad took down that garrison of MPs in the Uprising arc and they didn’t kill a single person.

And then there’s shit like that slavers scene.

Excuse making is actually a common reason why people say violence is a fact of life. It’s not just nihilistic, it’s an excuse. People who say that violence is inevitable, oftentimes, are just projecting their own violent tendencies onto everyone else.

It’s a way to reconcile having violent impulses and having (a shred) of a moral compass. I’m not saying that Isayama is doing this...but it’s an attitude amongst fans that’s worth thinking about.

It is also wrong to say that violence is favored by evolution. That is to say, “it’s survival of the fittest;” people who are aggressive are more likely to survive, so natural selection favors aggressiveness.

In reality, natural selection favors cooperation. Animals do sometimes live in groups, and there often is a leader, but leadership positions are won mostly through social ability rather than brute strength. It’s more about your ability to work with others than dominate them.

In fact, overly-aggressive animals tend to be ostracized, rather than rise to the top.

All that talk about “alpha-males” is just Red Pill propaganda.

Arguably, SNK gets it backwards. It depicts cooperation as happening in the context of a violent world, instead of violence happening in the context of a cooperative world.

People come together throughout the story, but it’s always to fight some larger enemy. First the titans and now the Marleyans.

Eren laments the lack of unity among the walldians. They��re unified now, but that’s only because they feel threatened.

To the extent there was a sense of unity among the walldians, it’s because of suppression of dissent and King Fritz’s interference.

The outside world is unified, but only because they feel threatened by Paradis.

No matter what happens next chapter, I think the series is too cynical about people.

And needless to say, vague references to “genetics” or “violent brains” or “instincts” are just gibberish that doesn’t mean anything.

So it makes no sense that Eren is allowed to do this because we live in a violent world. It may be justified for Eren to do it in the context of the SNK world, but that would just be due to Isayama constructing that world to be a place where it is justified, it wouldn’t say anything about our world or morality in general.

There are ways to avoid violence...but the story hasn’t really entertained that. SNK is more about how violence is inevitable but should be minimized, than straight rejecting violence.

I’d like to remind the reader that the only explicit pacifist in this story is King Fritz.

There’s also what I’m going to call the scaling problem to think about. If you can abide by the vigilantism, then Eren killing the slavers isn’t all that wrong. That makes sense.

The issue is that it doesn’t scale to the level we’re dealing with now. Whole countries of people are not equivalent to a single assailant.

A distinction is drawn between combatants and civilians in war for a reason. It is recognized that fighting destroys lives and therefore should be limited. It’s not just soldiers Eren is going to kill, he’s targeting civilians too, and that’s self-defeating.

It’s self-defeating because what does it accomplish? These people aren’t taking up arms against Eldians. They do hate Eldians, and the mainland Eldians do suffer for it. But Eren is killing them too, so he clearly doesn’t care for them.

It is stunningly hypocritical. The Fez Kid is going to die. He didn’t do anything, except be born into this world.

(Spoiler Alert: if you’re going to kill someone, then you don’t actually value their life.)

2. Eren is justified because his motives are understandable or even sympathetic, AKA the “Eren is a victim” excuse.

The basic idea here is that Eren is a victim and deserves our sympathy.

So first off, Eren may be a victim, but that’s not important right now. I’m sorry for everything he’s suffered through, but victimhood does not justify victimizing others.

We should not accept Eren’s own framing of his actions.

“If people try to take away my freedom, I will not hesitate to take away their’s.”

He’s been through a lot, but has anyone noticed the decided lack of people in our world going on killing sprees because they’ve “been through a lot”? There are millions of people in this world who live shitty lives; they somehow manage to -not- kill others.

Being made a victim is awful. This idea is founded on the notion that being harmed is inherently bad. Not you being harmed specifically is bad!

Second, Eren’s calculus here is completely selfish and self-serving. He’s going to wipe out almost all humans for the sake of his homeland. If you think the highest value in the world is loyalty to your homeland, even more than fairness, or justice, or kindness, then this is the plan for you!

If you think lives matter because they were born into this world, then ymmv.

It’s wrong for the Eldians to suffer as they have because it’s wrong to make people suffer in general. But this seems to have gone completely over Eren’s head, as he’s now going to make everyone else suffer to help his people. He’s abandoned all manner of principle with rank opportunism.

Eren has fully embraced nihilism.

The contradiction here is too great to ignore. People are great because they were born à kill everyone not on my side, even people who literally were just born. This is galaxy brain level shit.

This is not self-defense. Proper self-defense acknowledges that it is wrong to harm people. Because of that, self-defense only permits actions necessary to save yourself.

You could draw a line from the extinction of the Eldian race to some dude on the street using that “devils” slur word, but that connection would be so tenuous that killing people over it would be ridiculous.

There is no real sense to Eren’s actions.

Bottom line: genocide is bad, don’t do it kids. Buy Ovaltine.

It is honestly funny how Eren keeps pulling the rug right out from under his own stanbase. It reminds me of how Republicans make fools of themselves defending Trump’s actions.

Trump: -does something bad-

Republicans: He didn’t do it.

Trump: Actually, I did do it, but [insert excuse here]

Republicans: -eats breakfast off their face-

First Eren says he’s going to “destroy this world” and the stans say he meant the PATHS realm.

Fast forward just one chapter: Eren’s decrepit face stares at the viewer and says “The Wall Titans shall trample the earth until nothing is left alive!”

How great would it be if Isayama pulls the rug out from under the Eren stans again next chapter? After a month of them rationalizing genocide, the story actually comes down -against- Eren and his plan.

And then we have Historia.

1. There was nothing.

2. There was a doppelganger with her girlfriend’s name.

3. Historia herself from the back.

Progress!

At this point, Historia is the only one who can talk Eren down from this. She and him have had an understanding ever since the cave and if anyone has the audacity to try it at this point, it’s her.

I doubt Mikasa or Armin will be the ones to try and reach him. Mikasa is already starting to accept that Eren is just like this. And Armin’s been butting heads with Eren about the Wall Titans for a while now. There’s been some friction.

How would she be able to talk to him?

Well, the PATHS realm apparently allows Eren to communicate with all Eldians. If it turned out the Eldians could talk back, it wouldn’t be surprising. Historia getting Eren’s attention could be as easy as her shouting-

“HEY, MORON!!!”

What’s interesting is that where in the PATHS realm Eldians appear depends on where they are relative to other Eldians in the Real world.

Mikasa and Armin are roughly in the same place relative to Eren as they are in the real world. Connie and Jean appear relative to each other. Reiner, Pieck, Gabi, and Zeke are the same.

So where was Historia when the Rumbling started?

She’s in street clothes. She’s obviously not on her farm; she seems to have been walking a city street at the time.

Alone.

We know she and Eren had an intense conversation earlier. So here’s a crack theory: what if Eren confided in her that he was going to use the Rumbling? And what if Historia vehemently disagreed?

The reason we’ve seen nothing of her lately is because she’s snuck off Paradis. She’s in Marley now, where she’ll die if Eren goes through with the Rumbling. She’s using herself as a shield for the whole of humanity.

Yeah, I know it’s insane, but I’m trying to salvage this character here! Historia has to do something obscenely badass at this point if her absence is going to be justified.

In any event, I’m certain that if Eren is made to stand down, it’ll be because Historia calls him a dumbass again.

SNK may or may not lean towards right-wing conservatism. The seemingly nihilistic view of human behavior tracks with right-wing thinking. But it’s hard to parse because most forms of modern rightism use obfuscation to hide their true beliefs.

It could be that the series is pushing that, or maybe it’s actually critiquing that world view.

For reference, this is what modern examples of right-wing conservatism look like.

Note the two-step sleight of hand here.

Step one: x may have been bad…

Step two: but [excuses go here].

Y was worse. There were good things about X. X wasn’t –really- that bad. You name it.

(I recommend reading the whole Twitter thread btw)

A lot of times, the better of two bad options argument is made. They try to justify their terrible opinion by making everything else out to be even worse. They build themselves up by tearing everyone else down.

It’s a bad argument because they usually have to cheat to make it work. They say, for example, that killing Native Americans was ultimately for the best because it paved the way for our more technologically advanced world.

This is incorrect, and racist, because it assumes Native Americans and their culture could not have adopted European technology.

They could have, but by and large, the Europeans chose violence.

On the subject of past crimes, the series doesn’t make excuses, thankfully. What the various King Fritzes have done in this story are not supported by the narrative. Not genociding the Marleyans, or tightly controlling the Walldians.

What’s harder to parse through is where this series comes down on nationalism as an ideology.

Grisha’s nationalist group was repudiated by the story, but only partially. It was wrong for them to dehumanize Zeke, and to buy into historical propaganda, but the central mission of the Restorationists was to get the Founding Titan out of Fritz’s hands and use it to protect the Eldians.

That’s what the good guys in this story have been doing.

And then there are the Yeagerists. Once again, they are only partially repudiated. Floch’s cruelty is condemned, but the main thrust of the Yeagerists is that peace is impossible, so Paradis needs to arm up. That notion has been supported by the story so far.

I don’t think the story will come down in favor of genocide, but that’s not the same thing as repudiating nationalism.

Nationalists have a two-step of their own. It goes like this:

Step One: Nationalism is good…

Step Two: because all the reasons it’s bad don’t count.

One common form of this trick is to say that nationalism the ideology is good, but it gets hijacked by bad people. It’s not the idea itself, it’s the people who subscribe to it. It’s the same with communism. Communism is good because every bad example of it in action doesn’t count.

Nationalism isn’t bad (reclaiming the Founding Titan), it’s just misused by bad people. (Grisha, Floch, maybe Eren)

Or maybe the story is saying that reclaiming the Founding Titan is so obviously a good thing that even the nationalists knew to do it.

Regardless, right-wing nationalists are not fully condemned by the story and are even supposed to be sympathetic.

Meanwhile the only explicitly pacifist character is depicted as an unsympathetic, defeatist chump.

That’s quite a contrast.

This will probably be the second to last volume. I’m betting we’ll get four or five more chapters to finish the story proper, and then a couple more chapters to close it all out.

I don’t think Attack on Titan will support Eren in the end. What he’s doing is too obviously hypocritical and it’s easy to interpret the story so far as being against him in principle. What it comes down to is this: is this a story about fighting, or is this a story about how great life is?

This is a big dilemma for Isayama though. Eren is the main character, and while he may now be the bad guy, he didn’t start out that way. At the start, Eren’s roar was described as embodying humanity’s anger. In a righteous way.

Now Eren’s roar is that of a wild beast about to ravage the earth.

Eren used to be the primary vehicle for the series to convey its ideas and themes. Now he’s seemingly the opposite; someone whose ideas are anthema to the series’.

Having an epilogue would be a smart move. It’ll be necessary to clarify Eren’s relationship with the story’s themes. End of day, is his example something we should follow, or is he a cautionary tale?

(Considering the radical reinterpretation of his character happening in-story by his own friends, I suspect the latter.)

#shingeki no kyogin #attack on titan #snk 123 #snk chapter 123 #spoilers

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