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arrancxr · 2 years

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You hate the Shinigami side for the most part, yes? Are there any that you hate in particular?

Oooooh, this is a good question! owo

From a story standpoint, most of my dislike for the Shinigami side is directed at the system more than the individual people, honestly. I feel like a LOT of their problems are tied to how their society operates, not the people caught up in it. Most of them, especially the ones who aren't at the very top of the ranks, seem pretty decent! However, from the way they approach the conflict with Hollows to the way they treat the people in their own realm, they're awful.

Turning to a meta standpoint, I would have liked the Shinigami a lot better, I think, if they hadn't been cast as the ultimate good guys. It's not fair to expect anything too deep from a shounen manga, I know, but probably the number one thing that bothers me about the Shinigami side is that they're given an author-granted privilege to do whatever they please and still be the designated "good".

Like, Szayel and Mayuri are pretty equal in terms of moral atrocities and general nastiness. And yet while Szayel's sadistic mad science is portrayed as disturbing and evil, to the point where the horrific death he gets is treated like something he deserved, Mayuri... pretty much gets off scot-free. He's a Captain with active permission from the ruling government to more or less do whatever he wants, the people around him (who are supposed to be the good guys!!) never do much more than complain about the creepy shit he pulls, and the main manga ends with him still doing exactly what he wants, with no more punishment than a brief wound to his ego from losing Nemu.

And that's where it irks me. Shinigami are allowed, if not encouraged to be as cruel as they please when dealing with Hollows. We see them do things every bit as awful as the Arrancars' actions, but the narrative insists that, by the sole virtue of being Shinigami, it's somehow acceptable when they do it. The moment when Zommari questions the Shinigami's right to kill Hollows could have been interesting! It could have opened up a whole discussion about the fairness of the Shinigami system, both to the Hollows they're killing and the souls in the Rukongai they're (supposedly) protecting!

Instead, Byakuya shoots down the moral question with no further answer than "because I'm right," and it never comes up again. There's a recurring theme of Shinigami characters being narratively protected from any wrongdoing... when it's done to anyone else.

When Shinigami (or human, by protagonist extension) characters get hurt, it's a bad thing, and the perpetrator is immediately and inherently a villain. When other characters (most notably, Hollows) get hurt, so long as it was a Shinigami that did it, the action is almost always justified somehow, or at least reduced in "badness". The only real exception is when assigned "villain" characters are involved, and even then, that doesn't always make much of a difference.

For example— the Visored are the results of Aizen's inhumane experiments. They suffer for it, for a while, but in the end, they're accepted into the main cast as important characters and "good guys", and it's widely accepted that what Aizen did to them was fucked up and cruel. And yet, Wonderweiss, who's also a result of Aizen's experiments (and is debatably much worse off from them), is shown none of the same mercy. He's relevant for as long as it takes him to be a living fire extinguisher, and with the sentiment of "I can slaughter you without hesitation," is killed and forgotten.

I could go on for much longer here, but I think I've made my point... >.> Though, since you asked about specific Shinigami I dislike, I'll point out a few of those too.

Mayuri — Where do I even start? I'd probably like him a lot better if he didn't get away with so much (I do tend to enjoy awful anime men...), but his utter lack of consequences for anything, ever, just really puts me off. Since he gets a narrative pass for pretty much everything, he's not fun at all! >:(

Kenpachi — Similar to Mayuri, I'd probably be more fond of him if he was written differently. I'm generally a fan of overpowered characters (when they're well-written), but Kenpachi seems to exist solely to be Kubo's Ass Pull vessel whenever he writes himself into a corner and doesn't know how else to kill off whichever nonsensically impossible to beat villain he's set up this time.

Yamamoto — He's pretty much the face of what's wrong with the entire Shinigami system. On top of that, the "wise, ancient leader who's stuck in his ways and far too strict" trope doesn't appeal to me much. I just don't see anything to like about him...

Byakuya — Tbh, his fight with Zommari made me really not like him. His type of character can work, but the fact that Byakuya single-handedly shut down the most promising moment of maybe putting some actual thought into the Shinigami vs Hollows situation ruined him for me forever.

Those are the ones that I actively dislike the most! There are more who are on my ick list because they're just plain boring, but that's a different matter altogether.

#Meta

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sif-eya · 2 years

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Eyes Wide Open (Awareness and Being Educated: Would That Suffice?)

Entry #13: 040722

Contrary to what most peole know, awareness is pretty prevalent already in our society. Sex education in school, political awareness in mass media, body positivity in social media, LGBTQIA acceptance in our community, racial diversity in movies, and so on and so forth. As someone who is a GenZ, I can say that everything was and still is being spoon-fed onto us ever since we were born up until now that we are already teenagers and will most likely continue 'til we become adults. The cycle goes on and on for as far as we know. But as I think of it, is being aware and educated enough? What's the next step and how do we use those information to create a change in our society? You see, with all the means that we have as of the moment, it is not so hard to educate ourselves about certain things that are "new" or different to what we got used to. Everyone clearly knows that gay people exists, that a person's skin color varies according to where they come from, that a boy has a penis while a girl has a vagina (biologically speaking) and they can use it for reproduction, that some people are born petites while others are naturally curvy, and the loooong list continues for this and that. But what creates a division between people if they're already aware and educated? Simple, it's their own perception of things based on the environment that they grew up in — including their home, school, peers, and workplace. There are a lot of factors to consider and this is more than just opening your eyes to what's currently happening in front of you. People think that being aware and educated is enough but instead of acceptance, tolerance and/or refusal is what they do.

•"Ang daming nabubuntis na kabataan kada taon 'no? Wala nang magagawa, nadisgrasya na eh." (A lot of teenagers get pregnant every year, huh? It already happened, we can't do anything about that) — WRONG. Adults are aware of the concept of sex as well as the methods to achieving safe sex to not get pregnant or get sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) and teenagers are not new to this, too, as this is being taught in school starting from 5th or 4th grade under Science and Health classes. However, young people tend to suffer from peer pressure. They feel the need to have sex, too, and they think that it's fine since everybody's already doing it anyway. Let's also not forget that there are a lot of cases wherein guys pressure their partners to do "it" with them since they think that being in a relationship means consent to sex, too. And whenever teenagers would like to practice safe sex, they suffer from public humiliation instead. In the Philippines, you have to be at least 18 before you are allowed to buy condoms and you'd even get the stares from the people around you. Since this is a conservative country, your parents would most likely get mad at you, too.

•"Akala mo kung sino, eh nagpalaglag naman 'yan ng bata. Pokpok kasi kaya ayan, nabuntis ng kung sino sino lang." (Who does she think she is when she had an abortion when she got pregnant by some guy that she had sex with? Such a slut) — WRONG. Abortion is healthcare. Why she got an abortion is out of our business. I'm not pro-abortion but a pro-choice instead. There are a lot of reasons why a woman would get an abortion and who are we to judge them for doing it, right? Their body, their choice! If one is not ready to conceive, why should we force them to care for a child that they didn't even want in the first place? "Why have sex then?" — I already said it and will say this again, these people probably don't have access to contraceptives and condoms. Not everyone is as privileged as you are. Stop being so entitled and grow up.

•"Bakla 'yung kapitbahay natin kaya huwag kayong lalapit doon kasi baka mahawa kayo ng kabaklaan niya. Hindi na nahiya sa diyos." (Our neighbor is gay so don't go near them because you might be gay, too. They have no respect to God) — WRONG. Being gay is not a disease and you cannot be "infected" by it. Also, just because someone is gay, doesn't mean that they're disrespecting God. And stop assuming that everyone believes in God because some people don't and you just gotta live with that. You cannot dictate people on who to love just because of your religious beliefs. Do not go around pushing your beliefs down other people's throats because they're just normal people trying to live a normal life. Let us not define people depending on their gender. Statements such as, "You're a man that's why you can't cry", "You're a woman that's why you have to wear skirts", "You're bisexual so you probably already had sex with both boys and girls", "You're pansexual? Why do you dress like that then?", are very offensive even if you're cisgender or not.

These are just some of scenarios that shows how people tend to hate instead of trying to accept and understand other people. Now answer me, why do situations like this still exist despite the majority of the population being aware and educated enough? Because 1) They're afraid to stray away from the belief that was taught to them while growing up. 2) They do not know how to act out according to the information that they now hold. 3) They think that being "okay" with things is the same as "accepting" it. As long as they don't say anything offensive, then they can avoid being labelled as "ignorants". But that's not acceptance, that's tolerance. Instead of just educating people through seminars and the likes, how about we start creating a safe space for people so that they can learn how to gather the courage that they need in order to speak up about what they already know? Let us teach them how to express their emotions in various ways like writing, singing, acting, drawing, painting etc. etc. so that they can influence others to act instead of just being silent. Because how do we expect to see changes if we're so afraid of speaking up against toxic beliefs in our society? Being aware and educated is not enough. We have to ignite the spark in our hearts and stand up for what is right.

#journal #thoughts #21st century #filipino #Philippines #acceptance not tolerance #lgbtq community #abortion is healthcare #pro choice #different opinions #awareness #get educated #be brave #speak up

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mrstajym · 2 years

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It takes a lot of courage to admit to your mistakes, for the past 15 years of being together, we actually rarely had time to date I mean when we started yes siguro every weekend 😂 but when responsibilities came medyo nabawasan. This is not because we do not want to but maybe because there was too much in our plate.

This night was extra special because after almost a month of not talking we had the night to ourselves. Not to argue or to take blames but to actually face truth. He admitted everything and so I accepted and decided to move on from pain. While he admitted his mistakes I had time to really reflect on flaws and advantage I had as a woman. I was able to address my frustrations to my husband and literally explain how mad I was for his betrayal.

Actually, It’s not easy accepting betrayal. But only a few could attest how much our relationship has been through to be broken just like that. 15 years over a distraction of pure lust? I don’t think so.

I am actually at a point where I learned to accept that not all women have self control and self respect. Well maybe because as a person I was never the type to get deceived by a man who is married. I had my share of stupidity before but i was always single😂 never did I have to cheat or lie to partners. Sabi ko nga sa husband ko maybe this is why galit na galit ako because I never knew people like them existed. At least not the same kind. Maybe it is because ako I never want to be in a situation that I will be confronted by another woman for stealing her man. Damn NO! I know my place and ung shame of being humiliated. No thank you🙂. But again, Thats me. I can fight and be hard sometimes may also be unreasonable but never defending the wrong side.

After talking and after that time apart. We both forgave each other and decided to erase the wounds in the past. Go take a better path, enjoy our marriage and parenting, we both realized how lucky we are for being blessed having a daughter who is so smart,beautiful and God fearing. Out of all our imperfections we did a good job raising her. And for that alone We are blessed.

Our relationship was never perfect but I never regret staying in it. Because I know for a fact that I love my husband and when I love I give it my all, I do not do trial and error, I do not replace just like that. I mean at least I can say that I spent 15 years in a relationship being faithful. He may have his flaws but wala eh I chose to love someone like him, so it goes with it.

In the end what’s important is AKO. What have I done in this relationship? I am not perfect of course but at least my husband can face anyone saying. My wife is true and faithful, Choice na niya kung siya ganun din😂 but ako that probably is something to be proud about.. Even if there were times I felt like revenge was an option I never gave into it. At least now that my family is finally healing I can look straight into my man and say without hesitation I stayed true to my word even when there was no reason to. I can say I love you without looking like a fraud. I stayed not because I had no option but simply because I loved him and our family. Leaving him at his worst was never an option because I was never the person to give up on a relationship just because things was not going right for me. Truth is I am happy that in those 15 years I stayed strong. If maybe for that our relationship remains unbreakable.

Not the typical love story because there was so much pain. But something I can share to my daughter, Not the best example but probably be her reason to strive better and be an improved version of me hahaha. Regardless of how my story went. I can still explain to my daughter what honesty and faithfulness is about by the time she chooses her man and get married. I can explain to her about life circumstances without skipping parts of my life. That to me is the best outcome of being me.

Where are we now? I promised my husband that I will no longer be bothered by the past or whoever involved because they are of no use and worthless as he says.

Right now, we are focusing on the love we have for each other, accepting imperfections and mistakes and moving on to a whole new chapter.

#through thick and thin #forgive and forget #Spotify

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oqlixsreads · 2 years

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hellooo!! can i request for a gwi nam x reader where they are in a relationship, everyone at school is aware of it, and they are confused as to how two people with such opposing personalities can be together. However, gwi nam always acts as if they don't know each other at school, but when they are not in school, gwi nam treats her right. one day the reader wants to share her lunch with Gwi Nam, but the 2 bullies insult and disrespect her in front of him, making him angry and become protective of her infront of the whole cafeteria pleasee !! hehe sorry for the long description, thank youuuu 😚❤️

yes ofccc i like this idea a lot idk why. ok here you go :)

warnings// cursing, mentions of blood, beating someone up idk, hurt to comfort type fanfic

𝗦𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗻𝗴𝗲𝗿𝘀

Gwi nam was such a good person to you. He acted a way towards you he would never act in school, you knew that he wasn’t that good of a person but he was with you. People often have you looks when they hear you’re dating him.

They think that it’s a little weird seeing a girl who’s a bit on the quieter side, and likes to read, and probably one of the nicest people they’ve ever met/seen, but yet he’s also seen a side of you that you would never show anyone at school. So the big question is why were you even dating him?

He literally acts like you don’t know each other, as if you haven’t been together for damn near a year, as if you two were 𝙎𝙩𝙧𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙧𝙨.

I really don’t understand why he just acts like he doesn’t know me, maybe he’s ashamed? what if I did something wrong? but what? he would tell me if i did something to piss him off. But this was just odd. I mean at least it was friday, so maybe I could ask him what that’s all about. Might just dismiss it but I’ll at least try.

But i’m gonna at least try and talk to him today. And he’s right there actually straight in front of me and heading my direction, I thought he was going to give me a hug or a kiss maybe something? but let’s be honest this is Gwi nam. And he doesn’t like PDA, so he would never. However I continued to walk towards him and with a smile on my face too.

“Hey Gwi na-“ he didn’t even spare me a glance? not a smile? not a wave? “What the fuck?” I spoke loud enough for him to hear me. He turned around a little to make eye contact just to keep walking forward to his little group of friends. “Bitch” I mumbled under my breath. My face was getting hot why am I so mad?

I’ll try to eat lunch with him. And so I did he was with his friends, I did have food that he liked and was his favorite.

I spotted him with his friends so I made my way over there bessie him. They all stopped talking and stared at me the uncomfortable looks made me nervous. He looked away from me. I felt so disrespected. I harshly nudged him in the side. He hissed in pain. “Why the fuck are you ignoring me. It’s been like this for at least 5 days and now i’m actually getting annoyed.”

His friends laughed at me. “She thinks she’s tough huh?“ a random guy who you’ve never even seen before again. “Gwi nam it looks like you have a lost puppy following you.” another said making the whole table laugh. That’s not even funny but okay.

“Yeah and how are you gonna let this bitch talk to you and hit you like that.” Gwi nam’s face was getting red. he shot them a look “Don’t ever talk about her like that again or i’ll fucking kill you.” he said in the most calming way possible.

“I can’t do this shit right now.” I said in a nonchalant tone picking up my shit and walking out of the cafeteria. “Gwi nam what the fuck was that all about. I mean I knew you two were dating but it wasn’t anything harmful I could do worse to her yknow.” His ‘friend’ said with a disgusting smirk.

Gwi nam stood up grabbing his friend by the back of the head and slamming it into his tray of food. another one of his friends stood up, attempting to swing at him but gwi nam grabbed his arm and ended up punching him in the nose with his free fist. All for me. But I wouldn’t know because I just fucking left.

I couldn’t stop thinking about it all day. I really don’t understan- ding! oh it’s him.

I’m outside. Okay good I can ask him now and hopefully he’ll tell me why. Okay.

I was nervous to say the least. The door creaked open then shut and footsteps were heard coming towards my room. I took a deep breath in, was this a way of telling me he’s tired of me or ashamed? But he opened the door with a sad smile plastered on his face.

He automatically crushed me with a huge hug and a kiss on the forehead. I gave him a weak smile back. This made him confused and kinda sad..

“What’s wrong?” he asked me taking one of my hands into his. Okay Y/n just ask it’s okay. “How are you even going to ask me what’s wrong?” I couldn’t even keep eye contact with him and why are my hands all sweaty? It’s so fucking hot in here. He noticed my look of discomfort and his facial expression’s softened.

“Are you getting tired or ashamed of me and us? Because for the past few day you’ve just acted like you don’t even know who I am and as if we’ve never even met. And you just let your friends talk to me like that” I spoke looking at the floor, a pair of shoes, the closet, anything but his eyes that never moved once. He let out a deep sigh and rubbed his hand over his face. “Y/n no. I’m not getting tired of you. And i’m far from ashamed of you and our relationship. And I would never let anyone talk to you like that ever.”

He pulled me closer to him and laid his head on mine and told me. “I’ve been acting this way because im scared of how my friends would react to us hanging around each other I don’t want you associated with them or near them and everyone knows i’m always with them..I just don’t want them to do anything that could split us up or hurt you, I actually got detention for uhm slightly harming two of them.” I can’t lie, this made me tear up a little. He was practically squeezing me now.

I laughed a little “Gwi nam. I’m sorry, but you didn’t have to go so far as to beating them up” he pulled away and grabbed me gently by my face, I still avoided eye contact by looking at his shirt. And messing with my hands/knuckles until they cracked. “Y/n look at me.” I looked for a split second then somewhere else.

“Not the lamp baby look at me.” Gwi nam said moving his thumb over my cheek making my face so hot yet again. He smiled at me softly. “You have nothing to apologize for this baby, i’m sorry for avoiding you I should’ve just said it from the start. So don’t even think about apologizing i’m so sorry.” he said kissing me on the lips.

Making me smile and kissing him on the cheek “Thank you but don’t do it again because I will fuck you up without hesitation.” he laughed “I’m sure you will. Why don’t we watch a movie.” Gwi nam said pull a blanket over us. He stared at me for a while.

“What?” I said looking at him with pure confusing.

“I love you.” that was the first time he’s ever said that.

I suck at writing fighting scenes so please forgive me💀 i hope you like this tho

#aouad fanfic #cheong x reader #yoon gwi nam x reader #gwi nam x reader #gwi nam #all of us dead #suhyeok imagine #gyeong x reader #gwi nam smut #gwi nam fluff #fan fiction #all of us are dead #on jo x cheong san #nam ra x reader

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ynscrazylife · 3 years

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PLEASE MAMA NAT <3

where its just a day in the life of being the adopted daughter of the BLACK WIDOW her picking us up and training us, trying to bonb with us

love your stories ♥️

Being Natasha’s Adopted Daughter Would Include . . .

Request to be on a taglist (or multiple) here! (Taglists are at the end of the fic)

MCU Masterlist #1 | MCU Masterlist #2 | Main Masterlist

PSA: Do NOT copy, steal, translate, plagiarize, republish, etc any of my works on Tumblr or any other platform. Also, do NOT claim any of my works as your own. All of these works are either requests I’ve gotten that people have wanted me to write or original ideas I’ve had for works. If you happen to take inspiration from anything I’ve written and want to write something inspired by that, please a) ask me first and b) IF I say yes, credit me as inspo in your post by tagging me and link whatever work of mine that inspired you. Thanks.

header c @/piratanjo

Natasha met you post-Black Widow. She was helping out Yelena with freeing the Widows’ when she came across you.

You were a teen at the time - but still brainwashed. Thankfully because of your age you hadn’t been brainwashed into doing anything too bad yet, but you were almost finished with your training.

Something struck Natasha when she saw you. Looking back on it, she assumes it was the fact that like her and Yelena, you had been put into the Red Room at a young age, and you were the first teen they saw while on these various missions.

While she was okay with fighting the other Widows’, it was hard for Natasha to fight you. At the time, she brushed it off as not wanting to hurt a kid, but she knew that she was taking a liking to you.

Which was why, when Yelena managed to free you, and you told them that you had nowhere to go, Natasha felt the need to do something about it. Unlike the other Widows’ who were adults, you couldn’t go out into the world alone and, after talking with Yelena, Natasha decided to take you along with her.

It wasn’t adoption per say, at least at first, but it was close enough.

You jumped at the opportunity to tag along with Natasha and while Yelena continued the Widows’ mission, Natasha took you back to Melina’s house., where you met Melina and Alexei.

You were wary around them at first, clinging to Natasha, but you warmed up.

However, it wasn’t long before Natasha had to go on the run again. She offered you the chance to stay there with Melina and Alexei but you had grown very close to Natasha and wanted to come with her.

So, you did.

It was difficult, escaping authority and having to constantly be moving, but it in a way it strengthened yours and Natasha’s bond. You guys got closer and learned to work together — as fighting partners as well as mother/daughter.

Which was why, not having known your biological parents or where they were, the word ‘mom’ easily fell off her lips.

It happened when you guys were eating take-out in your latest house. Natasha had passed you the water pitcher and “thanks, mom” just came so naturally.

For a second, you didn’t realize what you had said, until you looked up to see Natasha staring at you with wide eyes.

Then, it hit you. Holy shit my god. Had you just said that?? What just happened?

You got scared that Natasha would react badly, but it was the opposite. A huge grin broke out on her face and even happy tears of pure joy.

When you asked her what was going on, she said: “I’ve never been a mother.”

That’s when you smiled and hugged her and you officially agreed on becoming mother and daughter.

Natasha was worried on being a mother at first, scared that she messed it up, but after reassurance from Melina via a phone call, she fell into the role naturally.

She became much more protective.

Not that you minded.

This went on until the Avengers called upon Natasha to fight Thanos.

She brought you along with her and the team was thoroughly stunned.

“wHO ArE yOU???”

“NATASHAAAA”

Yeah, it was chaotic.

You weren’t fazed though and quickly befriended Wanda and attempted to befriend Vision.

Steve and Sam also became like uncles.

Tony was a bit more difficult because you initially blamed him for you and Natasha on the run, so you were distant at first.

You were also kinda disappointed that Clint wasn’t there. You had wanted to meet him (and Natasha wanted you to meet him) after the stories you heard.

Nonetheless, you went to Wakanda and that’s where you met Bucky. It wasn’t long before he became another uncle.

You absolutely loved fighting alongside Okoye and meeting Shuri. You were fascinated by her technology.

You also kicked ass on the battlefield.

But then . . . You lost.

You watched Bucky disappear and even though you hadn’t known him for nearly as long as Natasha and Steve did, you still felt great pain.

Then you learned to that Sam and Wanda had gotten snapped and it got worse.

The days leading after were some of the most difficult days ever.

It was the first time you had to be strong for your mom, seeing as she had lost her friends too, and you panicked at first.

But you had been her daughter for awhile now and you knew what to do. You hugged Natasha and was there for her.

In the months coming, you helped the reminding heroes rebuild the world and you eventually joined the Avengers under your mother’s lead.

You also met Clint but it wasn’t a happy meeting, really, since he had lost his family.

You continued on as an Avenger with Natasha by your side. You met Carol and she was like an aunt and was amazing.

Things started to turn on the bright side when one day Natasha walked in with a genuine smile and held papers.

You could only guess what they were for at first, but quickly was shown and freaked out (a happy freak out) after.

Adoption papers.

You jumped and yelled and screamed and cheered, unbelievably happy that this was becoming official official.

You were Natasha’s daughter.

While the past few years had been difficult, this made it all worth it. You didn’t know where you’d be without Natasha and she was always with you.

Eventually, the team had a plan to defeat Thanos.

Which felt liked a miracle.

Natasha lives because I say so.

You and her got to tag-team Thanos’ enemies.

Literally the best team since Clint and Nat.

(Clint was jealous)

Then, you got everyone back!

You were SO happy to see Bucky, Sam, and Wanda again, and so was Natasha.

After you all reunited and the world went back to semi-normal, you and Natasha visited Yelena, Alexei, and Melina who were beyond happy to see you both.

Things started to turn up again and you were so grateful to have Nat at your side.

She was the best mom EVER.

Always looking out for you and protecting you

If any of the other Avengers made the slightest of snide comments, she was on them like a bloodhound

She always reminded you to hydrate and was always asking you how you were doing

It was hard to believe that she hadn’t had any experience with children before

Well, she had, with Clint’s kids, but still

Speaking of Clint’s kids, they all looked to you like an older cousin

But getting back to Natasha

She insisted that only she would train with you, not trusting the team to not injure you (besides, she knew you best)

You loved training with Natasha too

She always made it fun, putting on music and stuff

It helped you had similar music tastes

She also would always gush to anyone but really Clint, Sam, or Bucky on how cute and adorable you were

And they definitely agreed

One time during movie night you fell asleep with your head on Nat’s shoulder

She was so happy

Made Bucky take a picture

But she did feel a little bad because you must be tired

So she carried you to your room and put you to bed, kissing you goodnight

You had missed out on a childhood so it was nice for your mom to bring you to bed

All in all Natasha was the best thing to happen to you

Despite it being tough, you were thankful for every second of it

Permanent Taglist: @natasharomanoffismywife @hehehehannahthings @paulawand @blackbat2020 @cerberus-spectre @marrymemcgrath @celestialbarnes @kathryndimitrescu @snipyloulou @big-galaxy-chaos @cc13723things @ycfwmalise14 @unexpected-character (could not tag)

MCU Taglist: @stephanieromanoff @summerlovingbaby @ineffablebean @okkulta @procrastinatingsapphictrash @prettysbliss @caseyfish @sarahp-stan @thewidowsghost @basiclesbianbitch @mycosmicparadise @kidswhofightmonsters @xtraordinaryfangrl @peggycarter-steverogers @username23345 @ima-gi--na-tion @yori-nakajima @hi-i-1 @mmmmokdok @xxxtwilightaxelxxx @mads-weasley @tenaciousperfectionunknown @afraid-to-be-me @lilclownx @acertainredhead @natromanoffxox @lilymurphy03 @thanossexual @avengersz-biotch @kozumekoi @mjaudrey @un-name-d

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alreadyblondenow · 3 years

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A not so Cinderella story

“I’m the only one in this room that knows you don’t have panties underneath this beautiful dress”

Pairing: football play! Jeno Lee x female cheerleader! reader

Genre: SMUT, FLUFF, enemies to lovers

WC: 4,507k

Warnings: mentions of food, as requested the reader here is a cheerleader so the character is fit. Please dont come at me. Public oral sex (female receiving) (inside school classroom), swearing, unprotected sex, mentions of rough sex, the sex was just inspired by Diggity Jeno hahaha, a lot of cliché moments here, mentions of bruises and dislocated bones (bc athletes) NOTHING DESCRIPTIVE IT WAS JUST MENTIONED

A/N: NOT PROOFREAD. I’ll fix it once I get my internet connection back. Part of Request Party. Also Jeno has been wrecking me lately.

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Peanut butter and jelly. That’s the perfect way to describe you and Lee Jeno.

The famous sandwich is known with its unbalancing tastes of flavors where the tastes of peanut butter and jam always fights in your mouth, but that’s what makes it so delicious. Something so unfit, unbalanced, contradicts, but still they’re better together. And just like the sandwich, you and Jeno are two different mixing flavors.

As the captain of the football team, and you as the captain of the squad, people around you expect that you ‘mix’ well with each other to the point that they expect you to be dating by this time.

“Nope. Not gonna happen. I hate him, he hates me. Let’s just accept that,” you whine to your friends as they ask you to take Jeno as your date for the dance this weekend. “It’s an exciting masquerade party, please let me enjoy my night without that dick ruining it,”

“And speaking of Jeno’s dick. Look at the size of that... Mmm,” one of your friends said and pointed to the side of the field where the football team are practicing and Lee Jeno’s shorts are just... so thin that his big dick is obvious.

“RIP to that pussy he’s fucking after dance...” another one comments.

“Okay, continue your drooling after practice. I need your full attention now. Let’s go! Move your asses!”

And just like that the captain in you is out in no time, earning respect from your friends and even impressing the guys from the football team. Of course everyone admired your leadership, skills and well... hot body. That’s why Jeno’s focus is nowhere to found the moment he heard you shouting from across the field and seeing your nice ass and-

“You can always say that you like her,” Jaemin disturbs Jeno’s thoughts with heavy breathing, sweating handsomely and waving at the students who calls him.

“Yeah, It’s not that simple,” Jeno said.

“Psh. Of course it is. HEY Y/N!!!! JENO SAYS YOU’RE SEXY!”

Jeno’s eyes went big and tried stopping Jaemin but its too late. You heard him already. Everyone, heard him.

“Stop staring at my ass Jeno, go back to practice” you said sternly and rolled your eyes at him. That was hot, Jeno thought.

You see, just like peanut butter and Jelly, you’re two different amazing beings. Each has unique personalities and charm, but you can’t see the good things in Jeno because you’re always blinded by his cocky attitude. But for Jeno, whenever you’re mad at him, annoyed to the core or whenever you talk back at him, he always finds it sexy. Until one day he fell for you, by just looking at you long and hard one perfect afternoon at the cafeteria while you’re busy reading something.

As the school dance commence and everyone had unique masks on their faces tonight, to be honest you quite enjoy it because somehow you feel invisible. You don’t feel popular and people are just so comfortable with talking to you, not knowing that you’re Y/n. And the only people who knew it was you was of course your friends, and you are having a great time.

“She’s the one wearing a white ball gown,” Jaemin whispers to Jeno under the loud party music and howling teenagers, “you owe me captain, it’s not that easy to make her friends talk,”

“Psh. Of course it is, you’re Na Jaemin,” Jeno pats his friend’s shoulder as a thanks and walked towards you with a smile in his face. Confident that you won’t shoo him away because you don’t know that he’s Jeno.

“Looks like I found my princess,” he said with all his might. Looking so handsome and perfect even with his mask on. You can’t help but accept the compliment and flirt back. So you turned towards him, flashing a big and excited smile and so thrilled that someone finally had the guts to call you princess.

“I thought you’d never show up! Now, dance with me!” you reached for his hand and the masked prince immediately twirled you.

Everything was suddenly beyond perfect that you felt like every second was a beautiful well written scene in a fairytale book.

It’s the way he holds you while dancing, telling you the right words that goes straight to your heart and immediately give you a smile. A kind of smile that only the right person can give you. But of course, you don’t know that yet.

As the night became even more perfect for the two of you, not knowing each other’s names just makes everything more thrilling and interesting but you promised to each other to stay true to each other when the clock strikes midnight and everyone has to take off their masks.

And to maximize the fun, you and Jeno ended up making out in one of the empty classrooms while everyone is busy dancing and enjoying the program. And by the way, it was a passionate kiss, not like those innocent kissing-a-stranger type of kiss that you see in movies. You both didn’t care at that moment whether you know each other or not.

“Fuck- I have to go back before midnight, I kind of... have an important duty during the event,” you said. Careful not to tell him that the captain of the cheerleading squad is needed to crown the voted prom queen.

“Understood,” Jeno says because he is the one crowning the voted prom king. “Does your lips always tastes sweet?” he asked with a very sexy tone, lifting you effortlessly with his incredible strength and making you sit on the desk. He reaches dow to your dress and went under it, completely startling you with the way he holds your thighs and kiss your knee, inner thighs, until he reaches your clothed pussy. Kissing the wet center and drownig with the feeling of his tongue shamelessly ruining your panties.

Bravely, Jeno removed your panties without breaking the soft kisses he’s giving you, putting your panties straight in his pocket for safe keeping and to make sure that you have no choice but to go back to him after midnight.

“Oh fuck-“ you moaned softly, covering your own mouth while the man in between your legs is giving you kitten licks on your pussy but intensifying everything when he spread your folds and focused on your clit. Licking it fast and kissing it like it it was your lips. It was unbearable, and this time two hands are covering your mouth to muffle you moans because you knew that what you’re doing right now can jeopardize your cheerleading career.

“Close- ooh, fuck. Right there please, faster. Ahh!”

You don’t know but Jeno is smiling right now, happy and contented that he get to do this with you. And in a matter of seconds, your legs are shaking and wanting to be closed so bad, but Jeno is giving you oral like he had never licked a pussy in a year and stopped your legs from closing to torture you further with his tongue.

Then suddenly, you heard your name being called and you made Jeno stop and quickly went down from the desks with weak legs, not having any other choice but to face everyone even after having a nice orgasm just a few minutes earlier.

You feel sorry for your prince of course because you literally kicked him and bolted away without any other words, not even a smile.

“Sorry I’m late, I was in the comfort room handling my tummy ache,” you cleared your throat and did what you had to do. A few minutes later, Jeno is now crowing the voted prom king and you didn’t bother looking at him because you knew he will look so handsome tonight. So you just stood there in the corner of the stage focusing on your weak legs, and feel Jeno stood beside you afterwards. Watching the the prom king and queen dance at the corner, both with tired smile and hearts yearning to be with each other again, suddenly Jeno spoke to you.

“I’m the only one in this room that knows you don’t have panties underneath this beautiful dress” he whispered beside you with a small smirk that only you can notice.

And the moment you lift your head to face him, you see you le prince.

Jeno is your prince. The prince who just gave you a mind blowing orgasm just a few minutes back.

“Lee Jeno- what the fuck. What have you done,” you said quietly, trying to control your reactions in front of the entire school.

“Date me and I’ll give it back to you”

“No thanks, you can keep it- just please dont tell anyone what happened to us.”

And just like that both of your happy endings are cancelled for the night. He felt broken, you felt guilty. But he can’t just finish this night without a fight.

“Fine. At least let me drive you home” he said bitterly.

“Fine”

The drive was quiet as expected. No one saw you get inside Jeno’s car, you made sure of it. To be honest you wanted to apologize to him for the kick earlier, but you figured it will make everything even more awkward. So forget it.

When he had finally pulled in front of your house, neither of you started moving as if you didn’t want this night to end badly than it already is.

“I had a great time...” you started, hoping that it’s okay to even say ‘thank you’

“Can’t you see that I’m trying my best here?” he said and it turned quiet again, “I like you Y/n,”

“Are you sure?” Are the only words that came out from you.

“A hundred percent sure. If you don’t let me date you even just for a short period of time to prove my feelings to you... I might cry while driving home,”

“And that’s fucking dangerous. Okay okay,” you were panicking at this moment “I accept your offer. Please, just drive safe. You’re making me nervous,”

Jeno smiled from ear to ear upon hearing your decision. Even though you didn’t actually accepted his offer because you wanted to date him too,it’s fine. Jeno is willing to work hard for you.

Day after day Jeno ask you if you’re free for the most awaited date but you try so hard to avoid him. It was not easy to hide your ‘relationship’ and to be honest it’s starting to annoy you.

One awful day after practice, it was the weekend and only the squad and the football team is in campus for practice. It was a tough and ugly day, so you decided to wait for everyone to finish showering before you start cleaning yourself.

The water was nice and the warm feeling of the showers just relaxes you to the max and enjoy the running water. You take this opportunity to sort out your thoughts...but someone disturbed your peace again.

You feel him hold you by the waist and encircle his arms around it, head rests by the crook of your neck and even by just feeling his embrace, you knew that Jeno is tired too. That he had a bad day too and you didn’t want to make things worst for the both of you.

“The door was open, I locked it for you” he said quietly. The tiredness was even obvious through the way he speaks.

And knowing that Jeno is using you to comfort himself, you just let him do what he wants as a way to give back to the comfort and company that he’s giving you now.

Wet kisses were place on your shoulder and neck, his strong arms kept you close to him until your ass is so close to his cock that it’s poking your ass cheeks but you just let it be. To be honest you love the feeling of what’s happening now, you feel so close to Jeno just like the night during the dance.

You turned around to face him, only to find his face full of dirt from practice, exhausted expression and silence. He was never silent when he’s around you, and that’s how you confirmed that it was indeed a bad day.

“Want to talk about it?” You offered and Jeno just rests his forehead on yours, letting the water run through your naked bodies. Hands all over each other, no funny business just providing comfort. You took initiative to clean his face with your soap and pour shampoo on his hair, washing it gently as he lets you do what you want.

And finally, you see a hint of smile from his face and you cant help but to smile back.

You didn’t do anything stupid in the showers with Jeno, you just literally had shower with him while he keeps you close but it felt that you did something so intimate together. Like a couple who passionately had sex in bed.

After cleaning yourselves Jeno reached for your towel and wrapped you nicely, looking at your boobs without feeling ashamed because you’re looking at his cock too. If it was a normal day, you’d have sex right then and there, but you both don’t want it as of the moment.

“Wait here don’t get dressed yet,” he said when you’re back in the locker rooms.

And when he came back still wearing a towel wrapped around his waist, he dropped on bended knee as if he’s going to propose. But instead of reaching for your hand he reached for your leg, and made you wear the underwear that he took from you during the dance. “I washed it myself,” he said and placed a quick soft kiss on your waist before he gets up.

It was a sweet gesture. Not normal, but it was sweet and you liked it. He got up, turned his back and left you to finish putting your clothes. You wonder if he’ll wait for you outside because truth be told you don’t want this to end yet.

After you finish drying your hair and making yourself decent again, hoping that someone is waiting for you outside already. You saw Jeno waiting for you outside the school beside his car, looking so handsome on fresh new clothes with the cutest smile. Of course he waited.

“How was your day?” he finally asked you.

“Bad,” you answered and took a big bite on your hotdog sandwich. “I pushed my team so hard today that everyone just hated me during practice,”

“Same thing happened to me, me and Haechan almost got into a fight in the middle of practice earlier. I guess this what happens when we don’t practice at the same place,” he joked but his intentions were cute. “I’m not sure if were going to win this season. If we don’t, I would have to wave goodbye to my dream college”

“Jeno, we’re aiming at the same college, and knowing what they look for an athlete, it’s impossible that you won’t get scouted. I mean, you’re the reason why we keep winning. College football is no joke, so hang in there just do your best”

“College cheerleading is no joke either, you have to get in for me. I’m not taking cheers from a stranger it had to be you,” he made you giggle and let out small laughs that echoes around his car. You just nod at him and wiped the ketchup from his lips.

“Thank you and I’m sorry I’m always an asshole when it comes to you,” you said perfectly ruining the mood but Jeno did not let that happen.

“And for someone who used to hate each other, we sure are better when we work together,” he said, leaning closer to you for a kiss that you didn’t avoid. “Watch me win you fair and square,”

You smiled at what he said and returned the kiss to shut him up. And the next thing you know, you’re making out with Lee Jeno in his car in the middle of an empty fast food parking lot.

“You’re the first boy I ever kissed, Jeno, and I want you to be the last.... I mean you’re the first sincere kiss-“

“I get it, I get it,” he said and continue kissing you again.

After that fateful day, you’ve been each other’s rocks and support system. Meeting under the bleachers, showering last so you could shower in peace together after every weekend practice, and have secret dates whenever you want to. It was a beautiful time even though you’re not yet officially together. And that proper date he was meaning to give you, finally happened and you feel bad for avoiding this amazing moment to happen.

“Okay, I think we should stop” Jeno cut the kiss when you’re both getting too carried away. Knowing that his parents are away and you have the house all for yourselves just makes everything even more dangerous now. But instead of stopping you pushed him on his bed and went on top of him. Putting both of your legs on each of his sides and earning a cute giggle from him. “Alright, if this is what you wanted”

Jeno then traded places with you, putting you beneath him effortlessly and kissing every exposed skin he sees while slowly lifting your shirt and unclasping your bra effortlessly. Cupping your boobs and kneading them gently while he makes you crazy with his touch and the way his tongue swipes on your lips and dominates the kiss with that powerful tongue.

When he removed his shirt, you expected to see a very hot body, a perfectly sculpted abs, and his strong arms. You were prepared to see that. What you didn’t expect to see were the scars and bruises he got from practice and from his past games.

“Hey, don’t mind the scars. They don’t hurt anymore,” he reached for your hand and intertwined his fingers with yours. Even though his body was all ruined like this, he looks so happy in life and this current moment. You then realized that Jeno is more than football and his cocky attitude. He’s a man who loves the game and is willing to do everything for his dream.

And that.... fucking turned you on that you attacked him with kisses and quickly removed your pants, Jeno did the same with quick movements until you’re both wearing only your underwear and ready to do it for the first time. He was the first one to remove his boxers briefs and thats the time when you remember how your friends drooled over Jeno’s big dick. It was true.

And that’s going inside you. Every inch of that veiny, thick cock of Jeno.

He removed your panties next, kissing your legs as he swiftly pull it down you thighs and expose your pussy to him. Whispering sweet words, comforting and filthy ones to balance this beautiful moment. You smiled when he pulled away from kissing you and finally lining his cock to your entrance.

Pumping his cock in between your opened legs and in front of your wet pussy, he started to tease you with the tip of his thick cock. Up and down, Jeno made you feel how raw he’s going to fuck you tonight. He started kissing and touching your body, slowly pushing in your tight hole and stealing your breath away, making you breath so heavily and grip his strong shoulders as he oh so slowly put his entire cock inside you.

“Does it feel nice?” You struggled talking but you managed to let out decent words. He nodded and rolled his hips, making you both moan and hold each other tightly. That’s how nice Jeno feels around you.

He gave you a few gentle thrust, stretching you good so won’t get hurt when he starts fucking you hard. You watch his cock go in and out of your pussy, and you can’t help but feel proud that it fits perfectly. “I love seeing your smile,” he said when he caught you smiling. He kisses the top of your breast, softly and just making you feel crazy with his soft lips around your nipples. Suck it good and twirling his hot tongue around it until your nipples are hard and swollen.

You didn’t notice that he has been fucking and giving you harder and faster thrust that his bed is starting to creak so bad and your bodies are slightly bouncing from the mattress. The pleasure was so nice especially its you that he’s fucking now, that his mind just went blank and started kissing your breast wildly which made you part your lips and furrow your brows. You then reached for him because you can’t take the pleasure anymore and made him kiss your lips instead.

But just as you thought that the he will go slow, no. When his chest hit your breast, and you’re now bodies to bodies that he’s putting his entire weight on top of you, Jeno became wild again and pinned your legs on the mattress and started fucking you hard.

Thrust and thrust you feel the impact on every inch of your body, and feeling the sting and hurt on your cunt as he continues to fuck you so good and the pleasure did not stopped from there. He lifted your left leg, using your flexibility wisely and placing your leg on his shoulders, earning a kiss on your leg when he saw that you got excited with the new position.

Jeno went back to fucking you again, putting his left thumb on your clit to draw small circles while his other hand is holding your leg safely as he fucks you good again.

“Jeno- ahh! Fuck, not on the pill” you informed him with heavy breaths and delicious groans. Gripping his sheets tightly as you slowly feel your orgasm build up and made your toes curl. Pushing Jeno away and closing your legs immediately so could curl in a ball and enjoy your orgasm. You didn’t noticed that he came on your body the moment he pulled out, painting your skin with his hot and thick cum.

Suddenly it was quiet and only your heavy breaths can be heard.

“Sorry about that,” he apologized immediately and placed soft kisses on your shoulders while you still curl and shiver.

“No it’s perfectly fine,” you reached to him for a kiss and then Jeno proceeded to cleaning up his mess. Kissing your sensitive body while he wipes it and putting you both in the mood again for a second round, but stopped yourselves and just enjoy the night while you talk naked in his bed.

“Can you please play more safely? I see you go to the nurse’s wing every after game, but I never understood why until now. I though it’s just simple bruises.... and not, dislocated bones and-“ He cut you off with a soft giggle and caught him blushing like crazy. Who is this man? Is this really Lee Jeno? “What?” You added.

“Nothing. You’re just so cute when you worry for me. I remember back then you told me you wish I break my ankles during one of our morning practice because we had the field that day first,”

“Yeah... I’m sorry about that. You’re just so, annoying sometimes and I just hate you so much,” you gave him a hug as a sorry for what you said back then, which he gladly accepted and planted a kiss on your forehead.

“How about now? Do you still hate me now?” He squeezed you butt cheek to remind you of what happened earlier and how you loved every second of it.

“I most definitely, still hate you Jeno Lee” but of course, Jeno did not buy it and started kissing you again. Touching all the right places and whispering the right words. Until you two fucked again that night and he had to drive you home a little later that usual. This was the first night that you realized, you never wanted to be apart from Jeno.

“Y/n,” he called you just before you enter your house. You turned around to face him and gave him a sweet smile.

“Jeno Lee?”

“I love you,”

“I love you too,”

And just like that he made your heart jump again without any warning. Leaving you safely and driving away from you with both happy hearts.

When Jeno’s most awaited game finally came, by this time around you’re both still seeing each other secretly.

“There’s my favorite cheerleader,” he grabs you by the waist and admire you in your cheer uniform. You rolled your eyes at him and raked his long hair away from his face. Reminding him to play safely tonight.

“Win for this pussy,” you said with a smirk. You haven’t had sex with Jeno for some time now because he was so focused with practice and you think, tonight is just perfect.

But the handsome guy has something more in mind, “uh uh, Im winning for something else, this game is big I need a motivation,”

“Well, name it lover boy and I’m happy to give it,”

“Your heart. If we win this game we will be officially together and of course, the sex is just a bonus. What do you say? My place?” he’s waiting for an answer that will give him the energy that he will need all throughout the game.

You kissed him on the lips and encircled your arms around him and said, “Deal” then placed another one, “Now go win because I don’t want to spend my life with anyone else”

“You just had to set the bar high right before a game, huh?” He smirked and asked for another kiss. Completely transferring your balm to his soft, addicting lips.

Of course you and Jeno were excited and all for the thrill that night. The game wasn’t easy to win, but he worked hard inside the field while you worked hard outside the field, making sure that the people will have faith to Jeno until the end of the game, win or lose.

And speaking of win or lose, of course you’ll still make him your boyfriend after tonight. You just couldn’t let his heart break two times in one night.

But no worries, because as you wave your pompoms and screamed for Jeno’s name to take the winning shot, everyone celebrated with you.

“THAT’S MY BOYFRIEND!!!” You shamelessly shouted and came running towards to Jeno together with the others and Jeno caught you in his strong arms and lifted you off the ground. Kissing you in front of everyone which made their jaws drop.

That night, you have never been so flirty around Jeno, and he had never been this sweet to you. Maybe, you two were just holding it in and now that nothing is stopping you, you’re ready to love each other with everything you got.

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thereisnosuchthingassanta · 2 years

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Favorite kdrama scene #1

My Mister - Episode 13

This choice might not be the most obvious to start this blog because it features a scene from what is very much not the main plot of My Mister. But this show is that good. Every scene is so well written and so carefully crafted. My Mister is often praised for having this great platonic relationship at its center so it seems even more of a reach to pick that one but in the end I picked it because I think about it a lot.

When you first watch My Mister and start learning about Jung-hee and why she seems to be the way she is, you know a confrontation with Gyum-duk is going to happen. You also know it’s not going to end well. My Mister commits to a certain degree of realism. Gyum-duk is not gonna leave the temple and run towards his former lover. You know it. But most importantly, you know that Jung-hee knows this as well (more on that in a minute).

Yet, when she goes to the temple, sits in the room, listens to him and then goes to confront him, your heart aches for her. At least mine did.

When Jung-hee starts talking to Gyum-duk, she’s brutally honest about how hard life is for her mentally but also physically. It could feel a little bit over the top if you had not watched her suffer so much before (1) in the last couple of episodes. When she talks about how much this breakup still hurts her you know she is not exaggerating one bit. She doesn’t even say that to guilt him, she just needs to say it.

And that for me is what sets this scene apart from a lot of “romantic confrontation” scenes. At no point does Jung-hee does this to get him back. She knows damn well he is not coming back. That is the whole point. She is hurting because he is not coming back and never will. She cannot get past it (2).

When she starts begging him to come back, it doesn’t feel desperate but it is devastating because it is an expression of her desire. Of what she wants the most in life. She is not talking to him. She is basically talking to herself out loud. Seeing him helps her to voice her desire but it is in no way a real demand from her.

I think this scene is a tour de force from Oh Na-ra, especially in that moment just before she starts losing it. The way her pain becomes so unbearable that it transforms itself in anger is so visceral that I was blow away by it.

The part where she starts getting mad at him, accuses him of not loving her, hates on his way of life and then threatens to burn the temple to the ground before leaving without letting him talk, is probably what a lot of people remember from that scene but for me it’s really the minute before the meltdown that does the trick.

You know a show is great when even third-tier characters can have a compelling story arc. You know actors are great when they can create something in only a few scenes. Oh Na-ra and Park Hae-joon are so good together in that scene (and he utters only one sentence) that you can feel in only a couple of minutes all the love and pain there is between them. The writing is great, sure. But they truly make this arc work (3).

Having a character suffer because her boyfriend left her decades ago to be a monk seems on paper a tricky thing to do in your show. It could have looked a bit silly. Especially in a show that again, aims to be realistic. But I think this plot and this scene in particular does something almost unique by talking about a breakup that is not link to a third party, or a job offer in another country or something like that. In My Mister, Jung-hee suffers because she can’t comprehend what happened. That guy loved her, probably still does in a way but chose a life that most people don’t get (4).

And this plot asks the question : would you get over it if you were her ? I think we would also want to burn that place to the ground.

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(1) Out of all the depressing scenes in this show, I find the ones where Jung-hee is alone in her tiny room above her bar the most difficult to watch. I don’t know why. Maybe because she is older than Ji-an for exemple ?

(2) I found so refreshing (for a lack of a better word) Jung-hee as a character. In general we want people to get over their trauma, especially when it is as “small” as a breakup. We want the character to move forward at some point, just tiny bit, even in a show like this. Here, even after she sees Gyum-duk again in the last episode and he seems to be getting on the road to closure, she doesn’t really seem to be there herself and you feel that she never will. The show doesn’t blame her for that, doesn’t judge her for that. It makes you accept that fact.

(3) I think Park Hae-joon is one of the best actor around to be honest. I understand that people have issues with The World of the Married (I didn’t but I get it) but his performance is just so great. He played this coward so well. He was pathetic and hot and mean and... basically every adjectives you can think of. It is so different from his supporting turn in Misaeng and My Mister. A performance that people will grow to respect more with time I’m sure of it.

(4) I think Hospital Playlist really did a poor job with Jeong-won and his struggle regarding his desire to become a priest. It’s basically used as an obstacle between him and Gyeo-ul. Is it even mentioned in the second season after he decides to stay ? I get that HP is a comfort drama but it is one thing that didn’t really work for me while watching it.

#my mister #my ajusshi #kdrama meta #kdrama #my fav kdrama scenes #sad things

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2-cute-4-school · 3 years

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𝘕𝘊𝘛 𝘋𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘬𝘪𝘥𝘴

requested by the lovely @m4rshm4llow (*ૂ❛ัᴗ❛ั*ૂ)

Mark Lee

i think mark is quite good with children too when he’s not frozen in awkwardness

but i wouldn’t trust with him alone with a kid for too long tbh

like i see him as someone who could probably entertain a kid for a couple of hours succesfully but taking care of them?? yeah no (˵¯͒ བ¯͒˵)

so let’s say he had to tag along with you to babysit because he didn’t want to waste any time he could spend with you *let my boy receive his love*

but he’s not thaaaat excited he just hopes that the kid will get K.O.-ed early in the night so he could have some alone time with you( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°).... TO CUDDLE ya nasties

so when you arrive at your cousin’s house and you come in

he surely DIDN’T expect a kid to literally throw himself onto you and cling to your legs while chanting your name o(*^▽^*)o

the only way you can get him to detach so you can walk is if you pick him up in your arms

“y/n, who’s he?” mark just stares at the chubby finger pointed at him and produces an *HIGHLY AWKWARD* smile like (*′☉.̫☉)

“oh this is mark, my boyfriend”

*silence* “ew”

now hold on rewind

did a kid just ‘ew’ at mark (｡☉︵ ಠ╬)

and then he had THE AUDACITY to cling to your neck while rambling about his new robot toy and mark had to THIRDWHEEL the entire night

now he’s sure you have superpowers how could you tame that!!??!?! even haechan could be considered mild in comparison to... this ʕ •̀ o •́ ʔ

he’s pouty the entire evening while you play and take care of the newly spawned devil in town who HOGS your attention the entire time

so when he finally runs out of energy a bit later than mark would have hoped for, he’s quick to envelop you in his arms and drag you into a well deserved cuddle session ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ

“what took you so looong?”

“sorry sorry, i had to look under his man for boogeyman”

“pffft i think boogeyman is the one looking under his bed for that kid”

but he does melt when he remembers the way your eyes sparkled as the child giggled excitedly on your lap while imagining himself in the picture too (๑°꒵°๑)･*♡

Huang Renjun

renjun as we all know is just a bit short tempered so i’m not sure where he stands in his relationship with kids 눈_눈

but also he brings up his younger cousins quite often and he seems very fond of them whenever he talks about them

so i guess he likes kids but like good kids ya know Σ(-᷅_-᷄๑)

so let’s say you’re shopping in like one of those bigger supermarkets

and you hear cries

your mother instincts literally GO OFF LIKE CRAZY

renjun doesn’t even have the time to blink before you’re dragging him in the direction of the noise with such precision you might as well have a radar at this point ᕕ༼✿•̀︿•́༽ᕗ

turns out a little girl was lost between the tall aisles

renjun is a lil bewildered cause what is he supposed to do? not like he’s tall enough to see other the aisles in his dreams maybe

but you seem to know EXACTLY what to do as you crouch down in front of the girl and speak to her so gently not even renjun can hear properly

and then as if nothing happened she stops crying

just like that so renjun decides to try his luck too o｜◕ˇ▽ˇ◕｜ツ

“come on, let’s go find mommy and daddy”

and lemme tell ya the little girl sprung into your arms and clung to you with everything she had as she mumbled into your neck

“i only wanna go with miss” (つ﹏<)･ﾟ｡

his eye twitched a lil ngl （；¬＿¬)

and that’s how you end up taking a stroll to the announcement desk with a whole child gripping onto your hand

renjun would have never imagined his grocery run to turn into this

he only wanted some damn carrots not a frickin child ಠ╭╮ಠ

thankfully it didn’t take long for the parents to run over and thank you for returning their child safely but there was only one problem left

getting her to let go of you

that was a whole ass dramatic goodbye

poor renjun was left exhausted after this he gave up any grocery run he intended to do and dragged you home pronto (ﾉTдT)ﾉ

he admires you so much for how you handled the situation and how you seemed to be so natural and in your element he can only think of how great of a mother you will be in the future with his beside you hopefully

Lee Jeno

one word, his greatest asset: PATIENCE

i see jeno as a man of patience which is more than just helpful when it comes to handling children ❀.(*´◡`*)❀.

he’s also volunteered in all these programs that involved children and he did really well if you ask me soooo he’s a good ally to have (︶.̮︶✽)

and you really REALLY want to volunteer together at one of those like emergency centres for children or something

and who is he to deny his love? he couldn’t have even if he wanted to, you’re too cute in his eyes so he lets you get your way anyway

so before you step inside one of the caretakers gives you some advice

warns you that the new kid, a little girl still in primary school, is still very closed off and wary of everyone

but as you step inside the kids get drawn to you like moths to a flame, swarming around you and asking you questions while dragging you in the living room to play with them

jeno just trails behind, watching the entire commotion with his soft eye smile as he understands (◍•ᴗ•◍)

he knows that you just have a way with people, he’s been in the same position mesmerized by you, it’s one of the reasons he loves you so much and seeing you so purely happy surrounded by children

MELTED HIM ♡(.◜ω◝.)♡

eventually you drag him into the happy circle too and he seems to fit in just right by your side with giggling children everywhere around you

he ends up using his muscly arms ᕙ[ ˵ ͡’ ω ͡’ ˵ ]ᕗ as swings

“hey!! i’m stronger than you!!! let’s have a fight!!!!”

you just giggle as you colour some pictures with a few kids but stare at your boyfriend from the corner of your eye

jeno is so simply happy and comfortable he doesn’t even notice when you disappear from the crowd at first

but when he does his eyes search wildly for you like a lost puppy Σ(ﾟﾛ､ﾟ;)

but then he spots you

curled up on a small couch in the corner of the room, deep in conversation with the new girl whose eyes seemed just a little brighter as you clutched her hand in yours warmly ｡ﾟ.(*´◡` )

and jeno just realises again

you’re just working your charm once again and once again jeno falls for you for the nth time, deeper than the last time and lighter than the next

Lee Donghyuck

this manchild right here smh ୧༼◔益◔୧ ༽

now don’t get me wrong i’m pretty sure he’s decent at least with children

given he has two younger siblings and he often talks about hanging out with his little brother also have you seen that vid with the little girl?? the was he talked to her ⊂（♡⌂♡）⊃

buuuut BUT he’s also DYING like a fish out of water without attention

so when he invites you to tag along to his hangout with his lil bro

he didn’t expect TO BE THE ONE THIRDWHEELING!!!! (╬ಠ益ಠ)

you keep feeding and pampering his brother who basks in your full attention half because he loves it half because he loves the annoyed look on hyuck’s face

“babe i want some kimchi too” (*ﾟ∀ﾟ*)

“oh!!! sure, i’m sorry for hoarding it all”

and as hyuck awaits with his eyes closed and his mouth open with a pleased smile

you plop a bowl of kimchi in front of him and turn back to his brother as he tugs on the sleeve of your shirt

hyuck, muttering to himself: ‘i should have left you home, you lil brat, both of you traitors!!!!!’ (ノTДT)ノ ┻┻

he pouts and sighs dramatically with crossed arms the entire night while watching you interact oh so sweetly with his little brother

but he can’t deny the warm feeling of fondness swarming is his chest seeing you get along so well with his family and being so genuinely happy when you’re with kids

still complains to you when he gets you alone

“i can’t believe you love my brother more than me!!! ME, YOUR SWEET LOVELY CUTIE BOYFRIEND!!!” ‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )‧º·˚

“first of all, i wouldn’t stretch it that far-” “how is that stretching-?!??!”

“i’m sorry i’m sorry, my sweet lovely cutie boyfriend, i just missed him, he’s so cute and i haven’t seen him in so long and he seems to grow so fast every time we meet” (oꆤ︵ꆤo)

NOW hyuck is real soft how can he be mad at you when you’re THIS ADORABLE AFSKSGDFSAF-

hyuck just presses a sweet smooch to your temple and mutters

“he only acts that cute with you, he’s a devil at home”

“sheesh, i wonder who he takes after” *pointed look* (￢ε￢　)

Na Jaemin

my man here will most likely compete with YOU for the CHILD’S attention

it’s like GAME OVER for him if a child rejects him ε-(≖д≖﹆)

he’s never gonna get over this betrayal from both sides

so let’s say he takes you with him when he offers to babysit a cousin or neighbour idk you get where i’m getting at

and he’s already ‘play buddies’ with him as jaemin likes to put it (,,꒪꒫꒪,,)

and you’re slightly acquitanced with him from a previous visit to jaemin’s house when you coincidentally met

so when jaemin opens the door and announces his presence LOUDLY, the little boy doesn’t waste A SECOND to waddle in the hallway and meet you both ლ(＾ω＾ლ)

and jaemin crouches to meet him midway and-

and he *swooshes* past jaemin and into your open arms while giggling

jaemin, a lonely man in the middle of a hallway: (ಥ⌣ಥ)

the entire day, your boyfriend tries to steal the kid’s attention or bribe him over with sweets or toys

now you’re wondering who the real brat is

is salty about the UTTER rejection but also can’t help but watch you both so fondly with a proud hopefully in future for real fatherly smile (*ૂ❛ัᴗ❛ั*ૂ)

“are you practicing, y/n?”

“pardon?”

“practice, are you practicing?”

“for...?” ∑（´△｀○）

“ya know” *wiggles eyebrows* “taking care of our future children”

“learn how to control your own brat at home read jisung first and THEN we can talk, jaemama”

jaemin can’t believe this low blow, how could you after everything he’s done: cooking for you, taking you on bike rides even though he was the one who wanted to, even buying pads!!! or even worse!!!!! STRAWBERRY YOGHURT!!!!!! ∑(ﾟ台ﾟlll

he’s still pouty as you all put on an animation and snuggle a blanket

but then!!!! you fall asleep with the little boy in your embrace

and jaemin!!!!! just!!! CAN’T!!! stay mad!!!!!! cause you’re both just SO absolutely irrevocably CUTE!!!!!! ♡( ૢ⁼̴̤̆ ꇴ ⁼̴̤̆ ૢ)~ෆ♡

so he just HAS TO lay a *meaningful* smooch on your forehead as he sleepily moves closer to you both, one arm wrapping loosely around you while the other caresses the child’s head, lulling the both of them to sleep his protecc instincts kicked in y’all

Zhong Chenle

he has already expressed his wish to have a family someday since he wants to live the same happiness his brother does with his own family

which i think is ABSOLUTELY PRECIOUS

and we all know he’s WHIPPED for his nephew ˞♡ฅ(ᐤˊ꒳ฅˋᐤ)

but unfortunately

that doesn’t necessarily mean he’s good with children yet

let me give you a context over here

so he’s left alone for a short while with his baby nephew which shouldn’t be too bad since technically chenle is an adult at least legally okay??

and right things are all good until BABY STARTS TO CRY i’m talking about the actual baby here although chenle might cry too at this point

and chenle just PANICS when he realises that just shushing won’t work and whacking a hand over his mouth *cough* like he does to jisung *cough* isn’t an option (╬⁽⁽ ⁰ ⁾⁾ Д ⁽⁽ ⁰ ⁾⁾)

but thankfully, you’re there!!!!!!

“may i?” you ask chenle as you stretch out your arms in his direction

chenle has never passed over anything faster in his entire life џ(ºДºџ)

so when you coddle the baby in your arms and just gently bounce him a little he just settles down so cutely and most important QUIETLY as he stares up at you with curious eyes, small fingers curling up around a necklace swung around your neck or just the fabric of your shirt

chenle is all like (๑•́o•̀๑)!!

HOW DID YOU JUST DO THAT!!!!

and he watches with eyes even more curious than his nephew’s eyes as the baby slowly dozes off peacefully in your arms (꒡ ω ꒡ )zzz

it just hits him just how natural the scene looks

he approaches carefully once he’s sure his nephew fell asleep and lays a gentle hand on your head as he peers down at the cute chubby baby face

“you’re a life saver, how did you even manage to do that?” ◎ܫ◎

“you know, i have to take care of you all the time so-”

he flicks your forehead faster than you can finish that sentence

way to ruin a moment (oT-T)

but *SIKEEE* the baby fusses a little as soon as you frown and chenle immediately freaks out

he showers the spot on your forehead with kisses and his nephew settles down once again as you smile at him proudly ໒( ͡ᵔ ▾ ͡ᵔ )७

chenle rolls his eyes as if he doesn’t wish for this scene to become familiar to him sometime in the future

Park Jisung

this chick is still a baby who barely hatched

so he’s still in CONSTANT WONDER of the world ༼ つ ◕o◕ ༽つ

and in this episode of ‘jisung the explorer’ he’s discovering... ACTUAL babies

so you were on a date at the local mall when you met with a family friend of your mom’s who was struggling with her fussy baby girl in a carrier while trying to shop for some baby products

so you offer to watch over the girl until her mom finishes up (•́⌄•́๑)૭✧

but just as you’re about to attach the baby carrier to yourself, an old woman asks for directions around the shop

so you pass the baby to jisung for literally a minute to show the lady the way └(>ω<。)┐

and jisung is HIGHKEY PANICKED

he holds the baby by the underarms at arms length and obviously she doesn’t enjoy that and just starts wailing in the middle of the shop

and people just... stare (,Ծ_Ծ,)

and jisung is all like ‘IT’S NOT MINE!!!!! AND I’M NOT STEALING OR MISTREATING IT EITHER!!!!!!’

the moment you’re back in his sight, he’s THRUSTING that tiny loud bald creature in your arms it’s a child jisung ║ * ರ Ĺ̯ ರ * ║

and he expects for you to panic too but right away

the baby quietens down as you cuddle her close to your chest and coo softly in a hushed baby voice

and she plays with your shirt while you glare at your boyfriend (눈_눈)

“y/n, you sorcerer, how did you just shut it off?”

“i didn’t ‘shut it off’, she’s a baby not a tape recorder”

“oh REALLY, i couldn’t tell the difference for a moment there”

you just might consider returning jisung and keeping the baby（ ಠωಠ）

he watches in wonder as you entertain the baby for the next few minutes until her mother comes back

and he swears his heart skips a beat when he sees your smile widen with tenderness once you get a small giggle out of the baby (*ฅ́˘ฅ̀*)

he supposes maybe she isn’t so bad since she makes you so happy

even though she was louder than even chenle which is an accomplishment at this point

and when jisung notices your slight pout once you gave the baby back and parted ways he makes sure to shower your face in kisses until you regain the same smile that made him fall so deep in love with you

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thoughts-on-bangtan · 3 years

Text

Let’s Talk: Jimin’s & Tae’s confessions (RUN Episode 141)

by Admin 1

Originally, I planned on writing a summary or vmin cut of the RUN episode but then I transcribed Jimin’s and Tae’s confessions and it got me thinking, and now here we are. Instead of a summary here are some of my musings and thoughts about their confessions and how they are right in line with things they’ve said in the past, and even quite recently, as well as how it fits with something Namjoon said in 2020 about them as well. I hope this will at least be somewhat interesting.

So, first, let’s look at Jimin’s confession, since this is longer and was first in the episode:

Jimin’s Confession

Jimin: Sometimes I am blunt. I’m like that at times.

Na PD: Taehyung, has Jimin ever said anything bluntly to you?

Tae: Nowadays, he's really putting in effort to fix that to the point where it rarely happens anymore. Jimin tends to be very hard on himself, which also broke our hearts to see.

Na PD: So, he gets stressed from himself, then gets mad at himself...

Tae: Then gets mad at himself.

Na PD: ...and then he blurts remarks.

(here it was a bit unclear (for me at least) which of the two said which line so I’m sorry if I mixed them up)

Jimin: It’s something I want to be forgiven for.

Tae: But Jiminie being blunt and me being blunt is completely different. Jimin has a kind hearted nature on the regular.

Na PD: Right.

Jimin: Are you usually not like that?

Tae: I’m, well...

The other members stop Tae, since it’s not time for his confession, and instead the question is posed by JK if they forgive Jimin to which everyone says yes.

Tae: You’re innately kind at heart. stretches out hand for handshake.

Jimin: Thank you. Jimin thinks (?) Tae might be going for a fist bump since he gives him his fist instead, which Tae still takes and shakes.

The first thing about this that caught my attention, as well as one of our anons, was the fact that instead of choosing literally any of the other members, Na PD turned to Tae and asked him to verify if something like that (as in Jimin being blunt) ever happened toward him. You could say we’re thinking too much here, interpreting too much into it, and yet it doesn’t change the fact that he chose to ask Tae. Of course it could be because he said at the start of the program that he feels closest to Tae since he heard about him from two of his Wooga squad friends, but it might’ve just as well been because he watched the members for a while already at that point (since they’d already been filming a few hours) and perhaps he did notice how Tae and Jimin naturally gravitate toward each other, have this special bond? Other people who worked with them in the past noticed it, so why wouldn’t he?

There’s actually moment where Jimin turns and says Taehyungie like he wants to ask him something or say something to him which isn’t in the subs and the members don’t notice it either so Jimin never got to actually say whatever he wanted to say. Also, we’ve all seen how Tae and Jimin behaved during the game in the previous episode, how happy, smiley and giggly they were while being silly together.

Then the actual confession itself, Jimin saying that he can be blunt at times, toward others but also especially toward himself. We’ve heard many times from Jimin about how much of a perfectionist he is, how he can get mad at himself for mistakes, how he sometimes speaks without thinking which can end up a bit mean/blunt, and now he’d like to be forgiven for it.

This actually reminded me of something he said to Tae before:

FESTA 2020 from 42:56 min onward (context - the question was: have you felt disappointed in or sorry to the member to your right?):

Jimin: For Taehyung I should say if I compare those two feelings to him I was more hurt than sorry. Over time, it was reversed. Now I don’t feel slighted. I’m more sorry about things. Back then we were buddies so we had a lot of disagreements or didn’t admit that we were wrong. So I felt disappointed about little things. Now he listens to me well so I feel sorry that I talked to him harshly and every little thing.

The last line especially sticks out to me. I know there’s some language nuance here that got lost in translation which wisha mentioned when the FESTA 2020 video was posted (but is now gone since her twt was suspended), and yet it doesn’t change that fact that it fits with Jimin’s confession, how he was harsh to Tae in the past but now feels sorry for it, and with what Tae said, that Jimin is now making an effort to fix that behavior, to not be so blunt/harsh anymore.

It’s so interesting to me to see these mentions of what could be seen as character flaws over the years, things that make them inherently human. Also it fits with what we know about the evolution of vmin, how they used to have disagreements, have issues with proper communication but over time worked on it, got better at it to the point where they can now understand each other by just looking into each other’s eyes, and Tae’s words about Jimin, how he’s an angel, the warmest person he ever met, and now how he has a kind hearted nature, therefore the bluntness is not taking away from it in any way.

There was also something about this in Jimin’s solo RollingStone interview which caught my attention:

(btw, if you haven’t yet, I highly recommend reading the main and solo RollingStone interviews because they are really, really good!)

Taehyung’s confession

Tae: Compared to the other members, I’m very lazy. Once I’ve set my mind on something, to get that into action, it takes me up to 2 months. I’m start working out, then quit. I’ve quit projects midway too. I’m the type where if I’m not feeling it, I don’t do it. There are times when I feel sorry to the members.

Someone (I can’t pinpoint the voice): How would be summarize this?

Jimin: You’d usually call this as “irresponsible”. He lacks responsibility,

Tae: I’m still an amateur.

Na PD: “I lack responsibility and am lazy”. Is that how we can understand it?

Tae: Yes.

Jimin: To be honest, we don’t think it’s to that extent, but if that’s what he feels... we forgive him.

Something I love about what Jimin said (in far fewer words than I will use because you know me, I can’t keep myself short) is that he essentially did two things at once, being: he assured Tae (and the viewers) that him and the members think differently, don’t see it as severely as Tae does himself, and then he also acknowledged the validity of Tae’s words, that even if Jimin doesn’t agree with him, Jimin knows that those feelings are still valid, that that’s what Tae feels and that, at the end of the day, even if the members don’t agree, they can’t change Tae’s mind, can’t force him into seeing things differently. The only person who can do that is Tae himself, and that’s okay. Jimin and the other members will still quietly support and reassure him when needed until he’ll “fix” this weakness, if that is something he wants to do.

This really shows how in tune with Tae Jimin is, but also how emotionally intelligent he is. Beautiful. Also, notice how Jimin said that without being asked to do so, which will come into play again a little later in this post and why I point it out specifically again.

Listening (or rather reading along) as Tae said that, it reminded me of something he said a few months ago:

Taehyung BE-hind Story Interview from 5:49 min onward:

Q: How do you cope when it’s hard to work/with these situations?

Tae: I’m very true to my emotions so uh...if I can’t write the songs or can’t come up with a title I just don’t. Like now!

Yoongi: That’s actually the best way.

Tae: I just don’t write it like how I’m doing it now, and I don’t want to be pressured to create something against my will.

Yoongi: It’s not like you have to finish a song within a day or two?

Tae: Right! So I’ve been taking some rest for about four months now. Now that I’m resting for four months...

Yoongi: Wasn’t your mixtape supposed to be out last year?

Tae: The mixtape that was supposed to happen last year was postponed. I should be in a state full of emotions right now, but I haven’t reached it yet. It’s like...my first mixtape so I want to feel that satisfaction when I release it whenever that time will be.

Yoongi: That’s why you have to finish the whole thing while you’re at it...

Tae: Yes.

Yoongi: ...or else it takes too long to finish it. So, you have to finish it within that period.

Tae: Right.

Yoongi: I’m guessing you might’ve missed the time.

The thing though is that what Tae said, that if he doesn’t feel it, he won’t do it/finish it, that just shows how much of an artist he is, how much his art truly matters to him, and how important it is to him that his art, in this case his music, turns out just the way he wants it to or else he won’t finish it or release it. And while Tae might call this “irresponsible”, I don’t think it’s that in this case, or that it’s a sign of laziness either, though just like Jimin, I don’t want to invalidate his feelings either. All I want to bring across is how in the context of his music, this isn’t a weakness or flaw, even if it might seem like it, especially in their line of work with deadlines, schedules and plans made weeks and months in advance where, usually, you can’t just take a four month break.

So, in that regard, I can understand how it can feel like a flaw to him, make him feel guilty about it and sorry to the members who in this case might rely on him to get something done on time and he might not do it, or not without forcing himself to do it or being dissatisfied, you know what I mean?

Earlier today Tae was on weverse and answered a few questions about his mixtape (though I have a feeling it really is time for ARMY to stop asking him about it and just let him breath) where he said that even though he got a song from someone and made ten himself, even with that break he took according to his BE interview, the songs just aren’t what he wanted them to be and thus he decided to start again.

Some could say it’s again a case of him being irresponsible the way he characterized it during the RUN episode, that even though he said last year he was almost done and would release it soon it ended up being postponed and now he started over again, but once again I think it just shows how very important his music is to him, and therefore I’d actually call it a strength. It shows how valuable his artistic expression is to him, to create music the way he wants to, at his own pace, and only release it once he feels it’s right.

One more thing, just like I said in the intro of this post, Jimin and Tae jumping in to assure the other, reminded me of something Namjoon said during his Map of the Soul : 7 vlive last year:

The context is a little different, but I think it’s still valid here as well, how Tae and Jimin made excuses for each other, how Tae immediately softened how harsh Jimin’s own words about himself might come across, assured both us and Jimin that really he has a kind heart despite this weakness, and then also Jimin by saying that things aren’t as bad as Tae makes them seem either. It’s interesting to really see something play out in a manner similar to what another member said about them based on having been with Jimin and Tae for the last nearly ten years.

Whoever claims that BTS just play out concepts or “plots” and characters given to them by the company really should just take a seat and stop. I mean, sure they all have a sort of persona they embody in front of the camera, at least to a certain degree, they’ve spoken about that numerous times, but they are still humans with flaws and their own dynamics between each other away from the cameras which, logically, also come across on camera as well, not always but enough for us to pick up on it. And in this case, with these confessions during RUN, we saw something that we previously only really heard about happen right in front of us proving (not that they have to prove anything to us, of course, we should simply trust them and what they tell us) that it really is that way.

Here’s the anon I mentioned earlier:

From anon: It might just be me lol but I think rather than Jimin forgetting he's being filmed for a show (with all those members of staff as onlookers as well) and blowing a kiss at Tae / blowing on Tae's chest, he probably just noticed a tiny bit of lint or fluff on Tae's cardigan or mic and decided to blow it off... Of course, if that was the case, that still reveals their high level of intimacy and the fact that even when interacting infront of strangers they seem to be unable to stop showing exactly how tuned into each other they are... I don't think it's a coincidence that Na PD chose to ask Tae, of all the members, to verify Jimin's statement about his flaw. He was probably observing them all day and noticed how particularly close they were, even amongst all the extremely close members.

#vmin #Jimin #Taehyung #BTS #BTS RUN episode 141

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cryptiql · 3 years

Text

untitled god song

pairing: bakugou/m!reader (trans reader in mind you can see it if you squint but can also be read as cis)

words: 2k

warnings: themes of religious trauma, homophobia, mentions of blood, the author projecting their mommy issues

a/n: this is purely self indulgent, don't mind me 😩✋ (written in first person)

i wish i had known him before the pain started. perhaps it is a fools dream to think that his presence would have solved anything, and it is likely that he might blown me sky high at the time, if given the chance, but i often ponder his place in my narrative. he is nothing less than a king—nay, a god—and what else am i to be except his humble servant, adoring him in the only way i've been taught?

i would bruise my knees as i kneel for him, and should he turn me away, i shall be lost and without purpose. but he does not, and instead, he snorts out a laugh and pulls me to my feet, roughly squeezing my cheeks together with a shit-eating grin. he'll tell me a joke i've heard a thousand times, and yet i laugh with him anyways, the pads of my fingers idly tapping the pulse on his wrists.

"dumbass, at least take me out to dinner first."

i never thought i'd ache to hear such a demeaning nickname, but it's like birdsong to my ears, and i long for the myriad of butterflies it provokes.

i would heed his every word like a faithful disciple, and—if i knew he would not use this power for the wrong reasons—carry it out without question. he'll roll his eyes at the notion, far too prideful at the idea of being praised, and card hands through my hair, gripping softly. "right. and if i told you to go to bed before five in the morning, would you listen?"

my smiles are genuine, as they all are with him.

"no." i wish my mother had been more open-minded; more loving to those she claimed were goners. maybe then, i could still call her my mother, and not a snarled version of her first name steeped in vinegar. maybe she could have met him, and maybe she would have keeled over in the process, but that is how we put it "killing two birds with one stone".

he was a fallen angel if ever i saw one—emblazoned in smog and ravenous inferno, the pieces of child-like innocence turning to ash. something happened to him when he was a kid, just as all gifted children, and oh, what a fool i was to let my gaze dawdle on his gorgeous form. but i will never regret it—no, not ever—for there is no such feeling that can compare to his eyes on mine, burning with a mind-fogging intensity.

it was instantaneous, the moment my thoughts turned on me with malicious intent, her voice ringing out like a gunshot.

you'll never be him.

his hand slots with mine perfectly; deliciously warm and comforting in a way i haven't felt in years; and hauls me up, the flecks of dirt and rubble from the road clinging to my jeans.

"watch it, pretty boy. i won't always be here to save you, y'know."

my heart batters against my ribs like a caged bird, screeching and wailing to be set free, and i wonder in a haze if i've died. judgement day must have come early, i think, not realizing that it was spoken aloud until the blonde quirks a brow inquisitively. he does not speak on the matter, but continues on his merry way, leaving my helpless; hopelessly enamored; and praying that we will meet again.

no, i could never be him. but i am like him. he has a sureness in his walk and fervor in the way he talks that is only recognizable when i look in the mirror. and we do meet again. it is a shame, however, that i must burden him with the weight of my past. i remember too often the troubles of my youth, even when all has passed into fleeting memories that haunt me as ghosts do to an abandoned house. yet, i still live in this house, and the ghosts are here to keep me company.

i remember the church, first and foremost; nestled between the barren country road and the outback; a beacon of hope to all those who stood in its doors. the luster of freshly polished wood still sits in my mind, accompanied by the echoing remnants of dulcet tones and multicolored bands of light, glaring from the stained glass windows and dancing across the musty carpet floor. the doddering pews were just as uncomfortable as the poorly padded chairs squatting in the front row, but every sunday, they were filled to the brim with hungry worshippers. they sang praise as though they were starved, but i was too young to understand for what. i am older now, and i still don't understand. all i know is that despite its reputation, the church was a cursed place, and i should never set foot in it again lest i go mad. i remember the creaking stairs which lead downstairs, and the winding halls that reeked of torment where shadows loomed. the paint was corroding and foul, and my conscious always loitered too long on the merlot stain on the ceiling; its origin unknown, but nevertheless urging my stomach to twist with nausea.

i remember the feeling of tall grass grazing my ankles; itching horribly from the old moth-eaten socks i was forced to wear. it had become second nature—running and hiding from my problems, from the church, from her. i shall never know a greater animosity than the likes that my mother encouraged, although unintentionally, with her pressuring views and sickeningly sweet smile. it's fake, and i would know, because ours are the same.

we are too similar, and i am sickened by the fact. will i become the wretched woman she is? will i fail to be the father i've dreamt of being? it is an easy thing to fall prey to haunting questions, and it serves as brain rot for every moment of silence that leaves me clawing at my skin, trying to reap the memory of her touch. then i began to think—about nothing and everything—and it does not stop. i will be kind; unforgivingly so, and without biased judgement; like my mother never was, and i'll make her hate me for it. i will grow in leaps and bounds, not for her sake or for god's, but for mine, as it always should have been. i will drink and curse with reckless abandon and kiss who i damn well please, because in no life does she have have the power to make me something i'm not. why should i feel sorry when the tears she wept were forged by my own blood; by the childhood memories locked away to rot in my subconscious? yes, she has suffered too, but it is through clenched teeth and raw-bitten lips that i must confess this, for her suffering was born in me and grew from a seedling into a thorned flower, nourished by her hatred and mine. she'll tell me the lie of all mothers before her: that she knows best, and i'll never know joy that is not from my savior's gracious hands.

one day, when she lies not with words but in silence, under worm-filled earth and withering pastures, i'll tell her that she was right. i'll tell her, with his hand in mine, that my savior arrived with hellfire in his eyes and fury unrelenting. his tongue holds venom that would make the devil blush, but he tastes of a sinful sweetness that i've drowned in more times than i care to count.

mother you should know, my god is like no other. he has a broad chest and muscles, i attest, that are sculpted like fine marble and smooth to the test.

my god is a man who loves other men, unashamedly; in all that is true; and kisses me like real people do. and i know it sounds silly, and a bit cliché, and he'd surely make a mockery of me if ever he heard, but i love him. i love him as passionately as you she does lord above, and it is a crime in itself how much i crave him, so yes, i will burn for this—not because my mother said so or by the ancient script that foretells it, but because i promise it. i promise to let neither hell or high water deter me from that which gives me life, and i'll do so with a ring.

"you hear that mom?" i'll whisper in the dead of night, his body flushed against mine in the most delightful way; his fingers curled into my nightshirt, pulling me closer as listless mumbles fall from his parted lips. he is dead to the world amid his dream ridden stupor, but still leans into my touch when i smooth back the wild tufts of hair to kiss his forehead.

"i'm gonna marry him." part of me wishes she didn't live on the other side of the planet, just so i could rub it in her face, but i won't give her the satisfaction of seeing me again. i won't let her think she's won, because i know, and katsuki knows, that he and i are one in the same.

i do not know who i should thank for my stubbornness, be it my mother or my father, so i will thank the pain they both caused me, for it made me stronger than they ever could. no, i did not become a better person, because the scars have yet to heal from how deep they cut, and the smell of blood still lingers, and i am angrier than i once was, but i cherish my wounds. the stench of my agony has long since been subdued, and i have learned to swallow the sickness it evokes. and yes, this anger is unhealthy and i've chosen not to purge it from my mind like the weed it is, but how lucky am i to have found one whose malice rivals my own?

the tales of his glory have littered my notebooks in smudged ink. you would hate him, is scrawled messily on the last page, but i only feel giddy with excitement. you would hate him for his spite and his unapologetic behavior, and that is why he's perfect. he's everything you hate about this world, but everything i love.

so when she gets to heaven and asks the angels "why?", they'll tell her it was him who made the devil cry. him, who held me like she should have—could have, if she hadn't terrified me—and who chased the nightmarish visions of her from my weary mind with his callous palms and soft-spoken reassurances. i wish i had known him when we were young; when things were not so simple and i needed a hand to hold; but i suppose we'll have to settle for faded photographs and stories told through the bitter aroma of alcohol. that's more than enough, i muse to myself, legs hooked over his as i rest my head on his shoulder, keening softly at the gentle scrape of his nails on my scalp. his arms wind around my waist as he mutters something along the lines of "i love you", his lips curling into a smile, illuminated by the televisions glow.

so when they ask of my religion, i will think of only him. i will recall the way he looks at me, the sound of my name on his tongue, the feeling of his lips trailing between the valley of my breast; featherlight, cautious and unfitting for a man of his nature. i've written songs of praise, all dedicated to him, and if only he knew, oh how smug he would be. but i love him, i love him, i love him. and when he spins me around like a marionette, it is with overwhelming pride and joy that i tell him this, and with rose hued cheeks and bashful grumbles, he tells me the same. so mother, wherever you are, i hope you know i've found my god.

#💥.katsuki #bakugou x trans reader #bakugou x trans male reader #bakugou x male reader #katsuki bakugou x male reader #male reader insert #mha x male reader #boku no hero x reader #bakugou x you #trans reader

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yaomomvs · 3 years

Note

Hellow! Love your drabbles 😳 I saw your reqs were open for Shouto-kun: so can I ask a Drabble in which the reader is crushing on Shoto but feels completely unworthy of him, notably because she's from a very lower condition, something people often remind her while telling how Momo and him would make the perfect couple, because they're both from higher condition.. While reader is admittedly a hard-working person but has always been bullied for her modest origins? If you feel inspired ;o thanks :3

if i was a rich girl, yeah gwen stefani said that too

pairing: shoto todoroki x reader

little bit of angst? fluff!

warnings: self issues?? curse words??? not a warning but bakugou is reader’s best friend. also memories are in italics

plot: you couldn’t help comparing yourself to yaomomo, and clearly, your classmates comments didn’t help at all

notes: aaaa tysm i can’t believe this is my first request hopefully i did justice you your amazing idea! sorry for the delay i was in my last week b4 holiday vacation, hope you enjoy!

“i’m just sayin, todoroki and momo would definitely would look as an amazing couple wouldn’t they?”

it was kaminari’s words that were the final drop that broke the glass.

no, don’t misunderstand the situation, yaoyorozu was one of the sweetest, loveliest and most intelligent girls you’ve ever met.

but also one of the richest.

see, the thing is that you were not born in a “i have it all” family type of environment. you lived well, yes. but it’s for sure that your family did struggle way too many times in their way of spending money.

that’s why when you got into UA tears couldn’t stop falling through your face, you were finally able to do something about that. you always wanted to become the greatest hero, you thought that being able to rescue people from danger was the most selfless thing to do, you were familiar with that, so ever since you were little that was your goal. and besides that, you wanted to help you family so they wouldn’t have to worry about it anymore.

also because of that your friendship with uraraka was a great one. you understood what was like to face little things that the others didn’t, and you suddenly became close that you almost considered her a sister.

she was the most important friend to you, well, along with other person.

your eyes started itching, currently at the common room table where you and your friends were having dinner.

kaminari was on the sofa among with bakugou and mina, but it was easy to hear them. so that comment took everyone’s attention, even shouto’s.

“i mean you are not wrong” asido agreed, excited they finally were talking about romance in that boring school. “can you imagine how rich the todomomo’s family would be?”

“todomomo?” todoroki asked visibly confused.

“a ship name! for you and yaoyorozu!” she answered

your eyes were a little bit red now, and the knot on your throat was growing more everytime you looked over to see shouto’s expression.

uraraka noticed this, so she gently placed her hand over yours. how could she handle the situation?

“she’s so fancy!” you overheared some girls in the cafeteria drooling over the way that momo seated.

“i can’t believe this is her whole house” jirou exclaimed cheerfully when you visited her to study form an exam.

“an intelligent girl is always a classy girl” you listened kirishima while he looked stunned the way yaoyorozu handled, not only professional but also gracefully, a mistaken order at the cafeteria.

you always admired the way she was because of her origin, not in a bad way but you were obviously impressed, and if you were honest with yourself, sometimes it made you feel small.

but until now you never thought about this new insecurity, one that came up with the fact that todoroki and momo would actually look great together.

you tried to take those thoughts away, but your dear classmates were not helping at all.

the rambling of momo being a super match to shouto was getting louder and louder every second to you.

“think about it!”

“so when is the first date happening uh todoroki” kaminari still teased.

“but” midoriya interrupted “you know uhm wouldn’t it matter the way todoroki-kun actually feels about momo”

you stared at him.

but you finally had it when you spotted a slight red tint on todoroki’s face.

he was blushing.

“uh..” todoroki’s face was absolutely fuzzy. what could he say?

“i have to go” you announced way more loud than you expected, with a broken voice only two people were able to decipher.

bakugou took over a glance to you, knowing well what was going to happen next, with a tired groan he yelled. “well done idiots”

you ran out of the common room and took the elevator to go you your room.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

“be careful” a voice said over your shoulder while grabbing your back before you touched the ground.

you looked above just to find a pair of beautiful heterochromatic eyes. and also a half red and half white hair type of thing. you were embarrassed that being your first day at school you were already tripping with everything. but fortunately he catched you right before something disastrous happened.

“come on, on the first day? if you have something to tell me god do it right now!” you remembered saying yo the sky. “that was weird, i’m sorry, (l/n) (y/n), sorry for bothering you but thanks for saving me” you laughed.

“do you think god would take my complaints along with yours?” he asked serious, was that his way of making a joke? “todoroki shouto” you smiled.

“DON’T GIVE UP!” you remembered yelling from the bleachers at the sports festival “YOU OWE US!”

todorki heard you from above during his fight with bakugou. he saw you there, almost crying and although he did not understand why were you so invested on it, that gave him the extra strength to stand up to bakugou at least for a little more minutes.

“did you know that seahorses once they find their mate they keep it for life?” you randomly said one day while eating lunch with him. currently doing some extra work so you could be ar least on top 10 of your class “how romantic is that, right todoroki-kun?”

he glanced at you, confused but still admiring. you knew so many things that it was actually impressive to him. he didn’t know why but that day, his heart skipped a bit.

if i was a rich girl, na na na na na na na na na na na, see i’d have all the money in the world if i was a wealthy girl.

“if i was a rich girl”, yeah gwen stefani said that too you thought.

the song may seem stupid but your current mood made you put in on speaker.

if i was a rich girl i’d sure have a chance you thought too

“so i guess i do have a crush on him huh” you admitted to yourself.

“about time you made it, idiot” you heard bakugou say “was it hard playing dumb all this time? i mean it’s in your blood”

he was standing at your door arms crossed with that awfully big brother look on his face. you rolled your eyes.

“is it hard messing around being a dickhead? i mean it’s in your blood”

“well you shouldn’t be using that language in front of your lover boy” he said.

“what the fuck are you talking about-”

your body stopped working when he pulled out todoroki out of the wall letting him come out at sight.

the icyhot boy had his hands in his pockets giving that gorgeous look. you blushed, how could he do nothing and still look good?

“why are you feeling this way?” he abruptly asked.

“todoroki-kun?...”

“i’m not dumb, whenever she’s around you act so self conscious” he began “what’s worse is that i see you working so hard everyday but you are so blind that you don’t see what i see”

if anybody could hear the conversation, they would actually say that he was being rude, but you knew him he was just expressing his feelings, weird way tho.

“is it about the money? believe me, yaoyorozu is an incredible girl but you don’t have to compare yourself because how different she is to you in terms of money” your eyes were widened.

why was he talking so much all of a sudden?

“you don’t understand todo...”

“i know what it feels to mad, and seeing you this way it just does it to me over and over again. because everyone has their own opinion on perfect, but to me, you are that definition”

your heart froze at that last thing, his expression was so serious that if you weren’t listening carefully you would have thought that he was mad at you for any other reason. but that’s why you liked him so miches, deep down you understood shouto more than anyone else”

so you didn’t know any other answer that hug him in gratitude.

he was shocked, he never received some kind of display of pure love affection before.

but something in the way you did made him feel better. almost as if your hugs were some magical potion to the answer of everything he needed.

he felt so warm with you between his arms that he didn’t mind staying like this for a couple more minutes.

“wanna go out sometime?” your typical you started coming back again.

the confident and smart girl he learned to care about.

a soft smile crossed his face.

“anytime you want”

and so you thought, you did not have anything to worry about anymore.

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neowinestainedress · 3 years

Text

DYNASTY / NCT

CHARACTHERS

TAEYONG LEE "I've been having a hard time adjusting. I had the shiniest wheels, now they're rusting"

The role of the leader passed at him naturally. When the fire changed their lives forever, none of the others hesitated for a moment to know that the future of the city had to be put in his hands. Yet, he didn't feel the same. He couldn't see how they had so much hope and trust in him to hold things together when he couldn't even hold himself, anymore. But he knew that they still saw in him the protective older brother that used to take care of everybody and tried to defend them from everything, unfortunately, he knew that child wasn't there anymore.

𝞦

THE PROTECTOR

In charge of protecting the city and looking after the citizens. He's helped by his team, divided between the protectors who stay at the door of the city to control who comes in and out, and a team inside of the city that mostly focuses on the citizens' needs and external relations.

JOHNNY SUH "Cause in the end the road is long, but only cause it makes strong. It's filled with twist and peaks and turn. Sometimes you have to learn to forget about it."

If there was something Johnny was good at, it was observing. He loved to see things from a different point of view and analyze them since he was a child, so it wasn't surprising when the role of the protector was given to him. He always believed that everything happens for a reason, and you can choose to make it kill you or make you stronger. He once went for the first one and lost a loved one, so he won't let that happen again.

𝞦

THE THINKERS

The unit in charge of the bureaucracy. They are the ones that take care of the plans for the city, helping Taeyong with their outstanding logical thoughts skills. They can always maintain calm, even in the worst situations, always trying to weigh the pros and cons of the situation.

TAEIL MOON "All the things that I've done and I've seen. Still I don't know, don't know what it means, to be human."

Taeil always felt a big weight on his chest for being the eldest of the group and not manacing to protect them all. He wasn't the one who started to see the red flags, he never stopped Taeyong and Anastasia and their reckless plan. Thoughts haunt him at night that he should've done better. As the oldest, he had seen the worst thing, but the more he tries to remember, the more he feels disconnected from reality.

DOYOUNG KIM "Tell me the truth, tell me, do you still remember feelin' young and strong enough to get it wrong in front of all these people?"

Doyoung has always been the most impassible one of all of them. Nothing could tarnish him. He strongly believed that behind everything there was a scientific and logical explanation. He had no time to let himself get caught in pointless things like emotions and hypotheses. But with that came a strong need of never failing, because he couldn't let people see him as weak, or wrong. He always had to get it right on the first try. Live, though, loved to prove him wrong. .

TEN LEE "'Cause I feel like I'm the worst, so I always act like I'm the best."

Ten intelligence has always been witty and sharp. With his way, he could manipulate anybody with a blink of an eye. He loved control and power, and the feeling they brought with them. He always had to be one step in front of the others and know exactly what to do, how and when. But behind all of this confidence, a fear of failing hid behind.

𝞦

THE FIGHTERS

The unit in charge of fighting. Their abilities are mostly physical and differentiated in different specialities. They have been training since they were children and all of them got better in a specific field but overall they developed ability in all the ??.

YUTA NAKAMOTO "My demons are begging me to open up my mouth. I need them mechanically make the words come out. They fight me, vigorous and angry, watch them pounce. Ignite me, licking up the flames they bring about."

Yuta had one thing in mind, revenge. He had to carry with him the name of the people that put them through the worst and he couldn't bear it anymore. He wanted to see them beg for forgiveness and then take everything from them just like they did.

JAEHYUN JEONG "My heart's gone bad, now it won't beat for you. You had your laugh, now I won't play the fool. I've lied for you, and I liked it too. But I'm black and blue, from bleedin' for you."

Jaehyun has always been quiet, always in a corner, respecting the rules and never talking back. At least in front of their parents and all the things he was afraid of. He was calm of nature, that's what they would say to him. But the more life marked him, the more he realized he had a fire inside, and they weren't ready to see the flames.

LIV HANSEN "I can feel the flames on my skin. Crimson red paint on my lips. If a man talks shit, then I owe him nothing. I don't regret it one bit, 'cause he had it coming."

Liv was just like her name, life. Her burning red hair was flames itself, just like her. Dangerously pretty, dangerously quiet. Nobody could shut her, always saying what she was thinking since she was a child. She never let anybody step on her or tell her no. She had always been a force of nature, protecting everyone around her like a summer breeze caressing skin at night, until she realised that in that world she had to be a hurricane to protect who she loved, and never fail again.

LUCAS WONG "I don't envy, I will survive. And I've been begging and begging myself, please don't close your eyes. I don't have tears, I cried it all."

Lucas has always been the positive one of the group, the one that managed to always bring happiness even in the worst situations. He wasn't a hopeless romantic, he simply had to try and find the good in everything to survive. He knew it couldn't rain forever.

𝞦

THE HEALERS

The unit of doctors. They mostly learned by themselves, studying hard as soon as they realized they needed to always have somebody who could heal their friends. And then have been trained professionally. They work downtown at the medicals studios but also operate in the palace.

KUN QIAN "Losing is easy, winning takes bravery. I am a tiger's fool Out in the open. No one to save me. The kindest of whispers are cruel."

Kun always liked taking care of the others, from the smallest things to the biggest. So it wasn't surprising for him to be a healer. But he also had another passion, magic. It had started when he was bored and had nothing to do, behind everybody's eyes. People were scared of the unknown, and he simply found it stupid, because, behind every magic trick, there was logic. Little did it know, what life had planned for them.

SICHENG DONG "I found what I'd been looking for in myself. Found a life worth living for someone else. Never thought that I could be happy. I believe in possibility. I believe someone's watching over me."

The bad things that happened in his life never made him lose hope. He believed in kindness. But most importantly, he believed in people and that everybody could have another chance in life. Helping others came naturally for him because nothing could come close to the feeling he got when he saw the person he helped have a smile on their faces.

𝞦

THE DREAM CHASER

The unit made of teenagers who are not children of The Rebels, except for Mark. Their team is wide and filled with other personalities that don't take place in the other units, except for a thinker, a healer and two fighters.

MARK LEE ⮚fighter

DEJUN XIAO ⮚pilot

HENDERY WONG ⮚ hacker

RENJUN HUANG ⮚thinker

JENO LEE ⮚ training fighter

DONGHYUCK LEE ⮚ hacker

JAEMIN NA ⮚ healer

YANGYANG LIU ⮚ racer

CHENLE ZHONG ⮚ chemist

JISUNG PARK ⮚ hacker

𝞦

JUNGWOO KIM "I live inside my own world of make-believe. Kids screaming in their cradles, profanities. I see the world through eyes covered in ink and bleach. Cross out the ones who heard my cries and watched me weep."

Being a functional human being felt impossible to him, by now. Anxiety trapped him in a cage and it felt worst than when that trap were burning flames. He couldn't let go of his past and the pain they inflected him, and he couldn't let any of his friends close to him again, terrified they would use him against them again.

ANASTASIA ARENAS "But I got smarter, I got harder in the nick of time. Honey, I rose up from the dead, I do it all the time."

Anastasia has always been inconvenient, she never liked their little games, and she always made it clear. That's why they had to get rid of her. If only they knew she would've found a way back home, and this time ready to break the chain once for all.

ANIKA SINGH "I didn't have it in myself to go with grace, and so the battleships will sink beneath the waves. You had to kill me but it killed you just the same."

Is it possible to have a family, a house, and feel like you don't have a place where you belong? For her, it was. Anika spent her whole life being somebody her father wanted her to be. She was trapped between her duties and her dreams, always selfless, focused on taking care of her sisters. But what if the perfect daughter chooses herself for once?

SOOMIN WAN "Now I breathe flames each time I talk. My cannons all firin' at your yacht. They say 'move on' but you know I won't."

Soomin learned how to survive all by herself. She has no idea what a family is, and she's not even looking to find out. She's only looking for revenge. Because she used to have a family, before they took it away from her, right in front of her eyes. Nobody likes a mad woman, but He wanted her to be like that.

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scottydog4-blog · 3 years

Text

Okay.

It’s been a day.

There are now a LOT of gifs and Twitter-pinions about the premier, and I have some too.

When I finished ‘More Joy’, I quite literally thought “I want them to go back to how it was”…. and I felt like a complete Sharpwin traitor. I actually wanted to box it all back up and have the old Max and Helen back, corridor walks and longing stares, all happening safely inside the walls of New Amsterdam hospital. And at the same time I wanted to rewatch the whole episode to see new Max and Helen again because they were (mostly) adorable.

Then I spent the day reflecting and the more I thought about what I didn’t like, the more I realised one thing. I didn’t like that they weren’t at the hospital. It felt so weird to see them at Helen’s place, half dressed and TALKING, openly. It was a bit too much for my over analytical, ready-to-pick-up-on-all-and-any-subtext brain. It was a change seeing them like that, and I don’t seem to like change. Which is hard because it seems season 4 is not only about joy, but about change.

Yes yes, the first scene was 🔥🔥🔥 endless gifs. In hindsight, I wish I’d never seen any previews but alas, I’m a spoiler junkie. It was awesome though.

The second scene was slightly dramatic and achieved its goal of throwing a nice cold-bucket-of-water on the moment 🥶🥶🥶

The third scene did feel a little out of left field because in Helen’s season finale London movie her mum was not very likeable and for most of Season 3 Mina was a pain in the ass, so wanting us to root for her to go hang out with both of them instead of her very warm and loving NA fam and her new hot boyfriend is a hard sell! But go read someone else’s analysis of that because a lot has been said about her past and her healing journey etc. I can accept it, it’ll just sting a bit (see hatred of change above).

I’m going for the next three scenes.

Scene four. I loved it because they were up and they were walking about and talking normally and I think them walking and talking is as much part of both of their characters as their longing looks. He’s followed her down endless hospital corridors, now around her apartment, and maybe soon across an ocean. And yes you can complain about the I love yous, or you might love how they happened. Whatever. All I saw was Max react to her saying ‘I love you’ as if finally, even to him, this was completely obvious. I mean, his face is like ‘duh’. It’s why he’s ready to fight so hard for her. He’s not second guessing that she loves him anymore. And that felt good to see.

Scene five. I hated it. I still do. But I hate it because it makes me feel uneasy and uncomfortable, like it becomes painfully obvious that their long distance solution is not going to work and it’s awkward watching them realise it to. Which is the point. Because we all need to get that long distance is just not going to work. If they went down that route for an episode or two (or five) then that would mean Helen would be able to leave, and Max would stay, and that’s certainly not what we want. She’s one of our favourite doctors and she has amazing patient storylines and being Max’s long distance girlfriend is not just a down grade for Helen (and Freema), it’s insulting. What I think most viewers would have liked by the end of this scene is literally for Helen to give up on her London dream so everything goes back to being easy and we would get Max and Helen staying at New Amsterdam, same as they always have been, only now perfectly in love. Also an insult to woman everywhere. But you know who absolutely never tries to suggest that, who keeps making suggestion after suggestion, who literally declares different iterations of “it’s gunna work” every time she implies that it won’t. Max. He never asks her not to do this, only reassures her they’ll figure it all out. And that also felt good to see.

Lastly, scene six. My absolute favourite (yes, above scene one). It makes complete sense now why the last scene on the roof is the most comfortable one to watch. Because it’s them. Max and Helen. Back at New Amsterdam. On their roof. Just existing next to each other. Clothed (lol). “Oh hi” never sounded so good after all the ups and downs during the episode. Glancing at each other as they chat in front of the NYC skyline. That feeling that everything had changed evaporated instantly. Change MAY be coming, but for now they are still here.

And when they do start to talk about them, it doesn’t feel so weird. In fact, this scene is literally pure JOY. How can you argue otherwise? Max, who admitted on the very same roof to the very same woman how he’d let his wife down because he couldn’t turn down his chance to climb ‘Everest’, is now willing to do the exact opposite and GIVE UP his Everest so Helen can climb hers. Because he loves her. Plus, LOOK AT FREEMA’S FACE. How does she do all those emotions like that? And then there’s Max, who just looks back at her like ‘of course I’ll follow you, you’re my joy silly.’

SO MUCH JOY ON THAT ROOF!!!

People are only mad because they are freaking out about how the show creators are going to possibly make this work without them. And that in itself is just totally unnecessary.

New Amsterdam is a show about the Medical Director, Max Goodwin, and all his awesome staff. It’s about patients. It’s about shining a light on things and causes that matter. It’s about New York (see all those rooftop scenes, that skyline is the other character). People LOVE it just as it is. WE love it. Those things are the premise of the whole show. So can everyone CHILL. What they’ve done, is they’ve put that thing we love on the line and now we are all wanting to know how the hell they’re going to fix this mess. And they are going to say OVER and OVER that Max and Helen are DEFINITELY leaving because implying otherwise undermines the whole storyline. We need to feel they are leaving to be invested in whatever happens next. Time jump or mind changes or any number of things they might throw our way to get a back to the premise of the show. And we are going to tune in week after week to find out. And that my friends, is how television works. And thinking they were going to do otherwise was just setting yourself up for disappointment.

To the people demanding Max and Helen be happy for at least one episode… um, they looked very happy in episode 1 and they look very happy up against an ambulance in episode 2, and in the corridor smooching in episode 3, and wandering the streets of NYC some time in the future…

To the people who thought they were getting 5 full minutes of sexy times. I believe what we were told was we’d be ‘happy with the first 5 minutes’ (e.g. that glorious time before Helen said ‘I should never have…’)

To the people who read every single article and Q&A - Schulner LITERALLY said so many times that the season would be about discovering your joy and what happens after you get what you want. I think one time he even mentioned ‘chasing after’ it. We were basically warned and WE ARE LITERALLY LIVING THIS NOW TOO. We got Sharpwin, now we have to live with what happens next. Cause and effect in action.

To the people annoyed with all the drama this show has caused. It’s a… drama show. It was to be expected.

So let’s try to relax and enjoy the ride :)

#new amsterdam #sharpwin #helen sharpe #max goodwin #helen x max

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