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my-rose-tinted-glasses · 5 months

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Non BL Fan watches Only Friends - Part III (Part I) (Part II)

So Neely finished Only Friends. To say they didn't enjoy it would be a massive understatement. So much so, that I ended up feeling guilty for persuading them to watch it. Which is silly of course, as they kept reminding me, but I can't help it. If anyone manages to read all of this you'll understand. They did enjoy writing about it though, specially in a more casual tone than they're used to. They wrote as soon as they finished so it's kinda raw and personal because of their own personal feelings. i always check with them before I post to make sure they're okay with everything, and they were. There's a freedom about writing from a personal place when you don't know who's gonna read it, that even though this space is anonymous always gives me pause and stopped me from writing about this show. They didn't have such concerns.

Because this is the last one, it's the longest one, so just skip to the conclusion for a broader view on the show as a whole.

Neely's final thoughts on Only Friends

I think it’s worth to preface whatever is coming next here by saying I think I am in general, and specifically at the moment, for personal reasons, particularly sensitive to coupledom and the social pressures to belonging in one. This feels relevant to preface, because it has been the main thing that kept reverting back to me during my time watching the series. It felt almost like it was punishing me as I watched it. This was the thing that, despite not really connecting so deeply with any of the characters, made me shed a tear at the end of the last episode, as everyone celebrated their built Hostel, and the scorned-slut doesn’t even deserve a passing mention. Boston was erased, made completely invisible, he left no mark, he was the rock that fell in the centre of the lake and there were no ripples, because he refused to assimilate.

And, just like him, I didn’t belong either, no part of the moral and main journey of this story was for me. It made it very clear why, and how, they thought I deserved to be excluded. It wasn’t like the world was there but I didn’t quite find my place, wasn’t like I couldn’t connect but I was welcome to try to, it wasn’t awkward in that way; it was more like I was very purposefully being denied access to it. It wasn’t the awkwardness of being in a new place and not quite fitting in, it was a fairly explicit violence of “we do not want you here”. And I know Boston was a horrible character, the villain, there was pretty much nothing he did right over the course of this, and with that, he did deserve some sort of punishment, we could argue he did deserve to be fully left out. But I’m more concerned with who created and wrote him, who also created and wrote the other characters, and why this is where we end up, why it was decided that Boston was the one person that did not deserve to exist and repent in this Universe. He was incurable. The cruelty of the hostel they’ve built together, and the series itself, being called Only Friends, and ending with this really pointed exclusion - it floored me. He’s not a friend, because he’s a slut. It’s such a harsh, morally-superior ending; I felt stepped and spat on. But I have to say, it did not surprise me in the slightest, as this is the world they’ve carefully built throughout the 12 episodes. The cherry on top being that Jennie and her partner have been made part of the group. The slut is cleansed and a new couple enters. Could we be more obvious, writers? And this, not to get all political, is honestly one of the most unqueer messages a show could wrap itself in.

Boston: I will start here since I mentioned him, but I don’t really know what to say. But also just typing this first sentence, I know it’s gonna be the longest section. I think it’s careless, problematic, deeply biased, I wanna even say dangerous, to write a character in this way. To explicitly say: this is the one person in our world that deserves no redemption, that will have no opportunity to repent, that deserves no future.

It wasn’t enough that he went after Top from the start, when that story line was exhausted and culminated, what do we do with him? How could we make him get even worse? How can we punish him even further for his ways? - Oh, make him have sex with a friend’s younger brother.

Why was that storyline even there, aside from just hammering even more into the audience that slut=bad? Brother didn’t even matter beforehand, he was written fully into the show to come and tell us how bad Boston is. Yes, Brother lied, and we get a mild relief that we are not going to go with Boston as a criminal, but to follow fucking your friends Boyfriend with fucking your friends younger brother, consensually or not, is a bad bad move. And the show is telling us: bad bad slut, sluts are bad bad. And the show does this without ever giving us a context for why he is so careless, why he keeps fucking up - because that doesn’t matter in this world.

In this universe, in Boston’s case alone, past trauma or situations don’t matter, his biggest sin is being a slut (which as I said about the 4 past episodes, isn’t even a good word to describe him). Top get’s a more or less fleshed out fire trauma, Ray gets a consistent referring back to dead mother and complicated family; Boston we know is in the closet to his family, and is stressed about protecting his dad’s campaign, but never does the show try to use this to justify his behaviour like it does with the other characters traumas and backgrounds. For the show, it’s enough that Boston is a slut; for that fact alone, he deserves being written as culprit into almost every single horrible act contained in this series. After all of this, and after being completely shunned by his friend group and ending completely alone, he gets 20minutes of being shown to us as a person with feelings, with emotions, with struggles and remorse (BUT ONLY WITHIN A ROMANTIC PAIR, cause this is the sole context in this universe where one can truly exist); but not for long, don’t forget he is a slut - and what are sluts? BAD BAD - of course he will lie to Nick and literally hook up with someone (i refuse to acknowledge that ridiculous characters existence) DURING their date. I just found this disgusting, kinda revolting, and it’s genuinely been a while that I’ve felt so upset at a media portrayal. My hopes for media portrayals of queerness isn’t very high, but Boston - wow. It is heartbreaking to think that even queer creators think of us in this way. There were very faint moments I found endearing in the short stint of his relationship with Nick. Such as their conversation in the bench, after Boston cheats with Boeing (don’t get me started on this lazy-ass-writing-slutty-exboyfriend-deus-exmachina insert…….) it hinted ever so slightly at who Boston is - that he has opened himself to romance but potentially wants an open relationship; and I think Nick’s reaction wasn’t judgemental, but just well practiced boundaries, which the character needed. “it’s cool this is who you are, but this is not who I am”. We could’ve had that earlier, as part of a wider Boston redemption plot, but again.. slut=bad, no redemption possible. But they kinda closed their connection okay, I guess. With the friends, he is not even fully given a shot at apologizing. We get a really crushing goodbye scene where he is allowed in one last time, but where very clearly he is left out socially and emotionally. The single one in the group, whereas the others have found their final destination in coupledom. Their memories as friends don’t matter to shit, their whole lives together until that moment don’t matter to shit. Boston doesn’t belong anymore, he’s been deleted and made invisible already - and the reason he doesn’t isn’t due what he did: Top was given time and space to repent, Chueam has forgiven Boston for the brother situation, Ray has been absolved, even Sand has forgiven Top, everyone that has now paired-up deserves forgiving. But Boston, nope. Boston is not being judged and put aside based on his betrayals and mistakes. As it is reminded to us, by showing Boston messaging Nick, Boston doesn’t belong because he has refused to partner up. Everyone has moved-on, ascended, to their coupled-up states, and Boston, the selfish, egocentric, with no feelings or care for anyone, has refused to: so he has to go. Once again, romance is given all the avenues to repent itself, to reinvent itself, to flourish and last in the face of all mistakes; but friendship is disposable. A whole life of friendship that doesn’t even deserve an honest conversation in an attempt at forgiveness (Boston) VS a few weeks or months of dating that deserved all the space to repent itself (Top).

As I watched this scene, I just kept thinking how, had Boston accepted monogamy with Nick, this whole group dynamic would be different. They would’ve been laughing all together, Boston wouldn’t have been left out awkwardly checking his phone. I am almost sure even that Mew would’ve accepted Boston’s apology, and given him time to re-gain his trust. Because if tamed by a relationship with Nick, Boston could be trusted to not jump on Top. But single, and slutty, he is a danger to be controlled and never trusted. slut=bad, never forget. So, closing on Boston, I just really hope he is happy in NYC, and hope he has managed to escape the totalitarian puritan prison the writers have set this universe in.

Nick: shortly…I wasn’t a fan of him going back to Boston for that period, but I do think generally he had a good character growth. Probably the most meaningful character growth for me, due to ending up alone, and having set such good boundaries with Boston which was his biggest weakness. All the other character growths are very weirdly edged into promises to their loved ones, and they generally feel less honest and less long lasting to me, but Nick felt like he really grew and learned for himself. And I was happy for him. He deserved that. (side-note: what happened to the older boss he was boyfriends with for a moment? It was weird how he just disappeared. I’m happy they gave Nick time to be single and think about his needs and wants as a solo person. I really didn’t expect that from the show, I thought they would clump him into some happy half-arsed relationship with this boss. But this said, Nick did basically take two boyfriends at once, we weren’t given a scene in which he talks to the other guy, so I would like to know what happened, did Nick just ghost this guy after saying they’re together?) AND THE SHOW SHOULD’VE HAD SO MUCH MORE SCENES LIKE NICK AND SAND CAMPING!! Honestly these two were the only friendship shown on screen, they were so endearing, and every small moment we got of them interacting as friends was when the show felt genuine and loving. Of course the show had to interrupt this with the unexpected and unboundaried arrival of RayMANCE.

Sand & Ray: Listen I’ve gotta stan them because otherwise I will just hate everything. I think they are sweet together, they are the only chemistry I could genuinely feel, the way they communicate is amazing, and Sand is the cutest. They’re the couple goals for me in this series.

But I’m not happy with these last 4 episodes, or should I say 8. So much unnecessary back and fourth drama to then end us at a place where they were already close to being at the start of their relationship. Yea, Ray is aware of his drinking and trying to stop, because abracadabra magic of romance or whatever, but so what? I think it’s a disservice to Ray that Mew had to be the one breaking up with him; he deserved to have agency over his own healing from trauma, and his own moving on. And Mew deserved to be rejected, and not having everyone eating from his hand, for once in this series. Even if they had to have this weird awkward bad fling moment, I wish Ray had been the one telling Mew at the hospital that he picked Sand. Sand deserved to be picked, as much as Ray deserved to undo himself of his own insecurity that Mew was so tied into. It weakens the Sand Ray connection for me, that Mew kinda gave the first push to make Ray pick Sand.

But overall, I’m happy with Sandray’s reunion, and I think the ending gave us some good friend moments between Mew and Ray that I was glad to see too, I guess.

I also think Ray’s conclusion is a huge disservice to a story line about addiction, and again borderline dangerous. Tying sobriety and a rehab process to someone else, going sober for someone else, is literally 101 no no rules of AA and most recovery processes. And I know there’s like two lines in Sand and Ray’s convo about this, where Sand mentions he has to do it for himself, but that’s not what happens in any way. To wedge your well being on someone being with you, to put this weight on the relationship itself, and also put your health balanced on it back, it is incredibly precarious, unfair on the other person, and dangerous to you and others.

And it's more than studied that the chances of relapse when people attempt to stop addictions in this way, is much higher than when they are led to a path of loving themselves first, and sobering up for themselves first. So in my head, Ray didn’t repent, heal or grow; I thought he genuinely would with the therapy scene and everything but, I don’t trust it. He will go back to drinking as soon as him and Sand have an argument or disagreement; just like he did when “the-one-i-will-not-mention”, Sand AND Top’s ex, shows up. But again, this show shits on everything that isn’t a couple. This show never cared about Ray or his health or happiness, it cares about SandRay; just like it never cared individually about any other character, it cared about them WITH their "other-halves”.

Not much to say about Sand himself. I love him, he’s my show crush, and he did pull me through the worst moments, and there were many, as I watched this imho badly conceived mess of a show with a depressing message.

He is consistent, he is a good friend, a loving partner, he communicates well, he fucks up but owns up to it, he apologises, he cares. I was too done with the show antics to care about the whole Ray’s dad paying him or not paying him to force Ray into rehab, I thought that was stupid and unnecessary to add to their plot. So many better ways to explore their class dynamics, which they’d already kinda done to varying levels of success throughout the series.

And I feel similarly with Sand’s ex, that I shall not be mentioning. Just weird filler stories that took up screen time when we could’ve tied ends better, shown more general character growth overall, or idk, wild, but giving the designated shameful slut of this series, Boston, some more episode time to really repent and heal. I think there was a nice potential parallel in Sand and Ray’s differing relationships with their dads, that could’ve also been explored sweetly and used to grow their connection and maybe cause drama even, that I was interested in; but it wasn’t really pursued properly or given a closure. But, that’s all. They win, especially Sand, but in the context of this series that’s not something I’d be bragging about if I was them.

Top & Mew:

I feel like you’ll want me to talk about them and contrarily to this show I like my friends and wanna make an effort for you. But genuinely I couldn’t care less about them, which is also what complicated me watching the show as they were very clearly the main characters. I don’t know, they have no chemistry for me as a couple, I could never convince myself into believing they were together, or that they loved each other, or found each other desirable. I don’t think this is about the acting, but just the way they were written, and the specific troupe they represent which I find so common in gay media: the virgin, or the straight-edge, who melts the heart of, and drastically changes, the player.

I think everything about their storyline was textbook. I’m terrible with remembering names of things but so many times I’ve sat through this over and over again, in very very similar ways, and all of them have this air of judgement. I think, as I said before, the virgin insert, the pure insert, the straight-edge insert, is a plot point to allow judgement on queerness, and that’s the role that Mew takes, and consequently, Top too, once he gets assimilated enough to be accepted into being a couple.

Mew is just kinda there for the whole time, being pure and pristine, being naive, young, untouched, virgin, and things happen to him, at the hand of these horrible, vicious, drunk, sex-driven, cock-hungry gays. I felt so consistently like I was being told to go “oh no, poor Mew”; but I just wanted to go “fuck you you entitled little b—-“. There was for me a consistent taint of manipulation and coercion in his interactions with others, this weaponisation of holding, this overt playing the victim, that I just could not take. I think this is seen with Ray for most of their connection, with Top, and with how he gets revenge on Boston.

There is a small moment of acknowledgement with Ray when they decide to be just friends, at the hospital, but still… I guess there’s also a little hint that Mew fucked up when he plots with the one I won’t mention, the toy-airplane gifter, the ex of everyone and their dog, that appeared magically our of nowhere to create plots I did not need. But I don’t think this was enough. The whole thing read too much to me like we should see Mew as a victim, but I couldn’t do that; he annoyed me quite a bit most of the time, and I just kinda was counting down the minutes for him not to be on screen. I think Top didn’t really have a redemption arc, but I can see why in the context of the show it’s understood as that by all the other characters. I guess he showed his love or commitment to Mew alone and that’s all that matters apparently, but I think his main issues are more into his controlling tendencies in relationships, monogamous and committed or not, and none of that was addressed. He continues to be weird and jealous about Ray for lord knows why, he has this weird macho ew reaction to being kissed by Sand during Truth or Dare at the end that also just shows me he is a creep; he does this huge manipulation plot to get Mew to move in with him, by bringing it up several times when Mew wanted to think, and even re-planning the house and making sad pup face and voice when confronted with Mew saying he isn’t sure. And then he wants to be the sugar daddy, or own his coffee shop, insert himself into all aspects of Mew life, but always holding the power side. Their power dynamics are just problematic for me here, and I kept getting the kind of ick feeling about him, and the relationship. To me, Mew still feels more like a trophy to Top, something he wants to own, as this amulet that proves he is not a slut anymore, a player anymore; it doesn’t seem to me like a genuine connection, and definitely not a loving one.

Even the fire scene at the end, which I felt should’ve been this emotional tying together moment, this metaphor that now Top isn’t alone anymore, felt kind of weird and off to me, especially as Top then has to go check on the staff and Mew is left alone, there, waiting, like.. an object left on the shelf? Maybe I’m being harsh, and maybe I forgot core parts of their relationship and storyline because they really did just bore me, I felt nothing, and I zoomed out at times and only in their scenes because I found them bland and I couldn’t take the predictability of their fates.

Chueam: I’m mostly adding this section as a protest and a wish that I’d been given more to say about her. I stand by all I said in what I sent you about the last episodes. I think she plays the classic woman insert in a gay male series, the balance, the good friend and stable partnered, the moral compass, the mother figure of the group. She doesn’t have anything aside from her relationship to the men, or family, or partner we barely hear from. Even the last scene before the men go to watch the fireworks and the women stay at home, it feels so parent-kids coded: the way April and Chueam are at the door, waving their kids goodbye somehow. IDK. it had very strong semiotics of parents waving their kids bye to prom. I wish we had seen more of them, I wish something had happened for them that wasn’t related to the messy gays. She was fun, and attentive, she worked hard, she cared for family and friends consistently, and it seemed like she had a healthy relationship with kinda funny quarrels between them (like her not liking Aprils films is funny to explore no?!). I would’ve loved to be allowed to witness them more. I wanna know what she allowed herself to dream of. She deserved so much more. I’d trade out the unnecessary brother-fucking storyline for something about her. I’d trade out Sand getting offered money to take Ray to rehab for something more about her. I’d trade out Top and Mew still broken up but playing family with Mew’s mums for something more about her. (even tho I liked the older generation lesbian representation. A dinner party between Chueam and them??? I’d fund that spin-off.) I’d trade out the whole ex of the world, deus ex-machina, sudden drama insert for no reason, airplane model named character, every single appearance and storyline for something more about her. I’d honestly probably trade out both Top and Mew as a whole to a focused storyline on Chueam and April. Well… maybe Boston should’ve just never existed if he was gonna be trashed unfairly like he was from this Universe unrepented, and we could’ve just had more Chueam from the start.

(aaaand yes I wasn’t gonna talk about Boeing because I think adding him was just lazy writing and unnecessary and I basically ignored any kinda plot he created because it added nothing to the story in the end aside from being episode filler. I already don’t like when series bring a random ex without motivations just to cause drama, so I really eye-rolled at him being the ex of two character and not only causing drama on both sides, but also coming to stick the last knife on our already tortured scorn-slut lol. But oh well, I enjoyed having him shirtless on my screen though.)

Anyway, I finished and I am done: This show left me angry and terribly sad and feeling a bit like I was being hated on for absolutely no reason. I am not emotional about it aside from my couple of tears at the ending, cause I ultimately have more to do than care about this guy’s opinion on the world and of me I guess, but eye-roll.

In all honesty and without wanting to cancel anyone, I think this is a deeply irresponsible piece of media, queer nonetheless. It comes across queer phobic to me, this type of queer support that is waged on queers assimilating to how heteronormative society has lived and predominantly lives. It discriminates not about who you love or want to have sex with, but how you want to relate to people and how you want to claim agency over your sexuality and life. I just don’t understand why this is what you would choose to put out into the world, but i guess this was made to shock. And maybe that’s the start of the problem. Its the equivalent to the point of view where “it’s okay if you’re gay, as long as you’re seeking a husband” kind of rhetoric. The wide-plethora of queer identities and relationship styles are burned at the fire. And I’m not asking for the almost circus superficial tick-list of representational politics that western media is on the verge of becoming, and I’m really trying to hold on to some sensitivity that cultural context is very different. But I think what they’ve done is shitty and damaging beyond that. I am not saying I needed a liberated slut Boston on a 6 people polycule, or that I needed an open relationship or anything. You could have most people end up in couples and others end up alone but happy, in a way that didn’t need to include the absolute and nearly consecutive and relentless shaming of hook-ups, of any sort of personal desire that doesn’t include 1-1 romantic coupledom, the relentless punishing of every character that dreams a little different, and the consistent disregard and deprioritising of any connection and interaction that isn’t romantic. It’s just a bit lazy and shitty to me.

Chocomilk, the other BL you showed me a while ago, also was intensely focused on romance, as I guess BL is in general, but friendships were there, other non-romantic interactions were there without being judged or outshone. And I think this is true to most media right, the romantic love often takes centre stage. I really think and hope I’m taking this in consideration when complaining about this show - I don’t think its the only show to blame of course, but it felt more intense here, more pointed and much much more judgemental. Maybe because there really was such little care to every other relationship and interaction aside from romance, because every redemption (or lack of), every character improvement was ultimately based on the fact that they were now romantically involved with one significant other; but also of course, Boston’s ending and general storyline, which has been the most direct and relentless attack on a choice of living and relating to others sexually, that I’ve seen on TV in a long long time. This I have to say, I found really shamefully irresponsible. Ultimately I think the writing in this is lazy and shock based, I think they supported themselves on having famous actors and put them in situations that would shock and cause commotion to an audience that already knows and likes those people. It wasn’t about character building or journey cause we got little of that. From my perspective, and my little context, it was about putting famous BL faces doing things that aren’t usually very BL for the simple point of being shocking and different, rather than for good narrative and story purposes.

So we are left with a story that makes little sense, and to me just feels like a messy manifesto against sexual freedom.

The End

Well that's over. If you've made it to the end, thanks for reading.💜

I'll tag some people that left comments last time or reblogged. @doyou000me @summerfullofsnow @o-nao-lugar @lurkingshan @italianpersonwithashippersheart @mygwenchan however don't feel any obligation to read or comment

#rose and neely ramble #only friends the series #only friends meta #thai bl #ofts #only friends

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sshbpodcast · 4 months

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Character Spotlight: Katherine Pulaski

By Ames

We may have only had Dr. Pulaski for one season of The Next Generation, but that didn’t stop her from leaving an impression. Your hosts here at A Star to Steer Her By are big fans of her character and also of Diana Muldaur’s performance of the cantankerous and brilliant doctor who graced the Enterprise-D’s sickbay during Dr. Crusher’s time away from the ship (more on her next week!). She even made a couple of our top characters lists from TNG!

There’s a lot of negative feelings about the McCoy knockoff in the Star Trek community, and we’ll cover some of those below, but overall we have to give credit to the good doctor for how much she grew in only the twenty episodes we had her. By the end of season two, she was viewing Data as a peer, saving lives left and right, and fighting for the rights of other species. There’s no telling how much better she’d get if she stuck around. So raise a cup of Klingon tea to the best CMO of the Enterprise (I said it!) with our highlights below and elaborated upon in this week’s podcast episode (timestamp for this one is 58:29). Fight us, haters.

[Images © CBS/Paramount]

Best moments

Crammed full of crumpets We’ve made a running gag on the podcast about how Professor Moriarty stuffed the doctor full of crumpets in “Elementary, Dear Data” but there’s more to this episode than crude jokes and blue humor. Pulaski ran with the Holmesian scenario in the holodeck, proved to be stalwart and brave in a hostage situation, and totally rocked the period attire!

At least someone still remembers quarantine procedures While the whole thing did backfire on her, Pulaski’s actions in “Unnatural Selection” kept the rest of the crew safe. She was willing to risk her own health on her hunch that the augmented children weren’t carrying any pathogens, but let’s give her credit for taking the child and Data out in a shuttle so that, if (and when) things went wrong, things were contained.

Knives and bearskins! When the biobeds are on the fritz due to the contagion in “Contagion” and her staff is whining that the bone knitter isn’t working, Pulaski pulls some tried and true methods out of her back pocket – make a splint! It may be archaic medical technology, but it’ll do in a pinch and having that kind of medical knowledge saves the day (or saves someone’s leg at least).

Generous doses of PCS I just really love the sweet little moment during “The Icarus Factor” when Dr. Pulaski is tending to some crewmember suffering from the flu and says part of her prescription is PCS – Pulaski’s Chicken Soup. It shows how much she cares about her patients and gives the audience that warm feeling of having someone care for you when you’re home sick from school.

Jettison the emotional baggage you’re still carrying around Also I have to give my girl some props later in “The Icarus Factor” when she’s flirting with Kyle Riker right in front of Will. We find it a nice character inclusion that she and Kyle used to be down to clown, and even that she would have married him in a heartbeat, and she tells his son off in the most “oh no she didn’t!” way and then proceeds to drop like fifty mics all over Ten Forward.

Take your Prime Directive and shove it up your hatch! We on this podcast (who am I kidding; it’s mostly Chris) have a certain skepticism about the Prime Directive sometimes, and it’s usually the CMOs of their respective shows that get to question it most blatantly. Pulaski sure does in “Pen Pals” because screw the prime directive in this case! When a whole planet is on the line, Pulaski is the conscience that we all need!

Forget me, forget me not This is one that could have gone in either the Top Moments or the Worst Moments list because, face it, mind wipes are horrifying. But I’m gonna give Pulaski the win for erasing Sarjenka’s memories in “Pen Pals” because it’s impressive as hell. And she uses it to kinda-sorta stay within the Prime Directive that we just shat on. Plus she let Sarjenka keep the singing rock!

You’re still the Captain. Invincible. I’m still not certain what Chris was getting at about Pulaski’s letting Picard avoid the heart treatment he’s been neglecting out of sheer vanity in “Samaritan Snare,” but I’ll do you one better: she winds up fixing his stupid ticker for him in the end anyway! And is the grouchy little man thankful afterwards? Not even a little bit! Pulaski gets no respect, I tells ya!

Quote me a little of that poetry While you’ll see in just a moment that Pulaski’s views on Klingons were initially unkind, by “Up the Long Ladder,” she’d bonded with Worf enough that she was willing to engage in some Klingon rituals. She goes out of her way to concoct an antidote so she can take part in a poisonous tea ceremony with him, which is above and beyond (and also fuels some shipping), and she also keeps Worf’s measles a secret!

Bust him up, Data! In “Peak Performance,” it’s Pulaski who sets up the Strategema match between Data and Sirna Kolrami, and she ends up feeling really bad for goading him when he loses to that smug Zakdorn prick. So it’s that much sweeter that she’s there cheering him on when Data thinks outside the box causes the stalemate, telling him that in that way, he did indeed beat him!

Feelings of warmth and friendship What a shame that the last episode we got with this amazing character was one of the most infamously bad. But none of that is on Pulaski because she’s actually on full display in “Shades of Grey,” partly because she’s one of few characters in the non-clipshow scenes. But she (and Troi, as I brought up last week) pulled out all the stops to save Riker’s brain from certain doom.

Pull your head out of your ass! Okay, this last one’s not canon, but I just couldn’t help including this plug to go read Caitlin’s fanfic “The Pulaski Maneuver”!!! Or listen to it on the podcast back when we wrapped TNG with our episode “Tales from the Holodeck.” Pulaski finally telling Geordi everything that he’s deserved to hear might be my favorite moment, and it’s so in her character that I say it counts!

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Worst moments

The cold hand of technology Most of Pulaski’s negative personality traits are going to circle around her treatment of Data as a piece of equipment and not an individual. In her introduction episode, “The Child,” one of her early interactions with Data is to tell him he’s not wanted in the delivery room because he lacks the human touch. Lucky for us, Troi sticks up for him and he gets to watch her whelp an alien baby.

One is my name; the other is not Shortly afterwards, still in “The Child,” we get one of the fandom’s most hated moments from Pulaski when she not only mispronounces Data’s name, but doesn’t seem to understand that doing so is rude and problematic, instead deciding to put the onus on him for being capable of offense. It’s a tough moment for fans to accept, and if that were the level of bigotry her character stayed at, I’d understand why so many Trekkies dislike the character.

I’m not accustomed to working with non-living devices More growing pains come from Pulaski in “Where Silence Has Lease,” in which she refers to Data as “it” and Picard has to gently correct her. We’re two episodes into the season at this point, and Pulaski is still finding it difficult to accept the personhood of this fan-favorite character, something viewers pretty much got on board with in episode one. At least she apologized.

The mystery of the lack of any mystery Here we are, three episodes in when we reach “Elementary, Dear Data” and we see more of Pulaski judging Data for being incapable of thinking creatively when he solves Holmesian riddles. We may have blamed Geordi for accidentally creating Moriarty when we covered his character spotlight, but it was definitely Pulaski who goaded them on in the first place.

Medical research is sometimes a risky business While we may have praised her above for not putting everyone else at risk when she released the augmented child from his wrapper in “Unnatural Selection,” Pulaski was still dead wrong about the experiment being at all safe. She still got contaminated by the fast-aging disease and was resigned to her fate until Picard and O’Brien were able to transport her back. Speaking of which…

I’m a doctor, not an original character One rather understandable complaint we can see in the Pulaski character is that she’s just Dr. McCoy in a skirt. Which may not be a bad thing, per se, but when we see her racism against the outsider character, her Bones-like irascibility, and even her specific fear of transporters in “Unnatural Selection,” we start to wonder if the writers couldn’t have been a little more original.

I’m just glad that humans have progressed beyond the need for barbaric display We get a couple glimpses that Pulaski is a little repulsed by Klingon culture throughout the show. First, in “A Matter of Honor,” she’s grossed out by Klingon cuisine and calls Klingons barbaric, and not in the way Klingons would probably like. And she also gets a little smug after watching Worf’s Age of Ascension ceremony in “The Icarus Factor,” which she seemed pretty judgey about (but hey, at least she went!).

Quit cloning around! We gave Riker some guff for this as well in his character spotlight, and there’s enough guff to go around to give to Pulaski as well for their actions in “Up the Long Ladder.” Sure, the clones were made of them without their consent, but to take matters into their own hands and murder these people without discussion is not the Starfleet way.

Never to be heard from again… Obviously the worst character moment for us is Pulaski leaving the show after just one season. Notice how most of the bad moments come from earlier and the good moments are mostly from the latter half of the season. That shows how much the character was getting better, even in the rough first couple seasons of the show (you’ve heard our coverage of Chaos on the Bridge, right?). And while many celebrate the return of Crusher, we still have to wonder what the show would be like with more Dr. Pulaski.

—

And just like that, she’s gone and so is this blogpost. Keep following along because we’ve got another doctor of the Enterprise-D to discuss next week, and it’s not Selar! We also hope you’re making the schlep through Enterprise with us as we cover the whole thing over on SoundCloud or your podcast platform of choice. Wave your medical tricorders over our Facebook and Twitter pages, and get the pronunciation right: It’s Data, not Data!

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secretdiaryofcrowley · 21 days

Text

Where we left off: Nina scolded me for being mean to Maggie...

Now she actually WANTS me to be mean to Maggie and even meaner to Muriel. People! Will you ever make sense?

But let's rewind and start... right here.

"For once in your life, trust somebody."

No, no, wait, that's too far back. A little further along.

"Fine", Nina says, although it's not. "You've made your point, Mr. Crowley."

Did I? And is my point pointy enough for you to go away, never come back and leave me to my misery?

It certainly seems so, because Nina backs away. "We can offer you our friendship, we cannot, however, make you accept it. I still think you're making a mistake, but the choice is yours, and you're old enough to take responsibility for your own actions."

She falls silent for a moment. The sun's setting with the buildings casting long shadows over the road.

"I'll leave you alone from now on." Nina half turns, looks back over her shoulder. Her features seem calmer than before, but there's still some anger in her eyes. "And Maggie will too, once you explain to her that you don't need or value her friendship. I trust, you will do this soon and won't leave her worrying about you any longer."

What? "Explain to her... what?"

"This. Do you think, ghosting is an appropriate behaviour?"

"I'm not a ghost, 'm a demon."

"Don't take it literal." She sighs. "Ghosting means not answering people's messages and pretending you aren't there. It's very hurtful to others because it leaves people worrying and they never get any closure. That's what you've been doing to Maggie and me and I haven't even started to talk about Muriel."

I didn't know there was a word for it, but I never meant to do anything. How can I do anything by doing nothing? It doesn’t make any sense.

And yet, I know she’s right. Doing nothing sometimes hurts people most of all. Simply standing by and just allowing things to happen.

“What’s that with Muriel? There’s a croak in my voice I can’t supress right now. “I don’t understand, what do they have to do with it?”

“She… wait, Muriel uses “they”? Nina seems surprised. “I assumed since you and Mr. Fell both look like guys and she… they chose to look like a woman... you can all choose what to look like, can’t you?”

Great. Humans are not supposed to know about any of these things. I hope no one tries to erase her memory or turns her into a pillar of salt.

“Yes, we can, but Aziraphale and I have been to Earth for such a long time that we understand the concept of gender. We use the ‘he’ pronoun when we present male and the ‘she’ pronoun when we present female. Most angels don’t know or don’t worry about these things, so they go by “they” unless it feels right for them to go by something else. Muriel has only been to Earth for a couple of months and it’s their first time here, so they wouldn’t worry about gender or pronouns yet. “They” simply makes most sense in their case because it’s neutral and doesn’t assume anything. And before you ask, no, we don’t.”

“You don’t what?”

“Procreate. I thought that would probably be your next question.”

She tilts her head to the side, giving me a long apprehensive look. “So, you’ve had this kind of conversation with humans before.”

“Well... occasionally.” It’s not that I never had closer bonds with humans before. I just try to avoid it because it’s trouble.

Fortunately for me, Nina does not press the point.

Instead, she takes a deep breath and starts talking about Muriel.

~*~

More Diary Parts

1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9 / 10 / 11 / 12 / 13 / 14 / 15 / 16 / 17 / 18 / 19 / 20 / 21

#good omens #crowley #aziraphale #ineffable husbands #aziraphale x crowley #ineffable idiots #nina #nina tells crowley not to be an idiot #muriel #muriels pronouns

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harlequin-hangout · 1 year

Text

The Winter Storm: Part 2

Series Master List | Bucky Barnes Master List

Part 1 | Part 3

Pairing: Mob!Bucky Barnes x f!Reader

Warnings: minor alcohol use, guns, violence, ⚠️Intimidation⚠️, screaming, extremely minor Self deprecation, smut, let me know if I missed anything

Contains: Angst, fluff, Anger, temper, abuse depending on your trauma, mildly extreme injuries, sexual tension thicker than America's Ass

Word Count: 4.5k

Dividers are made by me! Want some for yourself? Send me an ask!

I do not nor will I ever give permission for my writing to be copied, pasted, reposted to other sites, or edited in any way shape or form. Seriously, just don’t.

Summary: You've been taken to a safe house, though you aren't sure where. With impending danger looming over you day in and day out, is there enough time to learn to defend yourself? Who are the moles inside of Pierce Enterprises? Why does your heart skip a beat every time Mr. Barnes walks by? . . . The Avalache has fallen and the Winter Storm is here. Are you prepared?

For Christmas, you went missing. Not that you had anyone around to really miss you; your life had revolved around work for the past eight months, and your family lived across the country. You didn’t talk to them much, so they probably didn’t even realize you were gone. Mr. Barnes had taken you upstate to a remote cabin. It was cozy, not at all what you expected from a Mafia boss and Fixer, but it was nice. A Fixer. You still hadn’t wrapped your head around that completely. In a span of less than 72 hours you had come in contact with two of the three leaders of White Watch, then betrayed one of them. You should be dead. You should be imprisoned in some basement or chained to a chair in some dark room never to see the light of day again. The Fixer was the most important member of any criminal organization. When someone or something became a problem or threatened to cause a mess the Fixer was sent out to clean it up. Violently, remorselessly, and without witnesses. Cold, calculating, and absolutely ruthless. And the most infamous Fixer in the country slept in the room next door.

It was only a little after five in the morning, but you couldn’t sleep. This week had been way too much for you to handle and it was taking a toll on your ability to sleep. Mr. Barnes would be awake in a couple hours, and you knew that meant more training. You had a love/hate relationship with training. On one hand, being that close to Mr. Barnes was something that you’d come to find exhilarating. You’d always had a thing for dangerous men, and he was extremely easy on the eyes. Every time he taught you a takedown or an evasive technique you could feel his muscles tensing beneath the white t-shirt he wore. You did your best not to let your eyes linger on a specific area of his black sweatpants, but the smirk on his face every time he caught you told you that he didn’t mind. Hell, if you didn’t know better, then you’d think he outright enjoyed the attention. You’d only met the man a week ago, and you were little more than a charge. Why did that sting to think about? You shook your head, trying to erase the thought from your brain, and jumped when you heard the front door open. Mr. Barnes was still asleep in the other room, you had heard him talking in his sleep when you got out of bed. To your knowledge, no one else knew where this place was. The door latches quietly, and you hear the click of the lock. You press yourself back into the window nook, attempting to hide yourself in the shadows of the corner. Mr. Barnes had insisted you start carrying a knife, but you’d left it on your bedside table.

“Of all the fucking days to be stupid and careless,” you thought to yourself. You heard heavy footsteps on the wooden floor as a shadowed figure made its way through the dark towards Mr. Barnes’s room. You were absolutely frozen. What could you do? You had no idea if this person was a friend or here to kill someone. . . To kill you. As soon as the figure stepped into the short hallway that would obscure you from his view, you silently creep to the front door and grab the crowbar used for knocking icicles off of the cabin’s roof. Silently thanking yourself for not putting on slippers, you follow the shadow to the hallway. You raise the crowbar, mentally preparing yourself as much as possible to try and bash someone’s head in. In one swift motion the man flings the door open and–

“RISE AND SHINE, BUCK, IT’S FIELD TRIP DAY– Jesus fucking Christ!” The man jumps back suddenly, the relieved squeak you made finally alerting him to your presence. You yelp, drop the crowbar, and scramble backwards. Your chest heaves as Mr. Barnes groans and a pillow hits the stranger squarely in the back of the head.”

“Five more minutes, Rogers. Ain’t you got any respect for a man’s sleep?”

“Your little guest there not only managed to sneak up on me, but almost took a crowbar to my back. Want to fill me in there?” Barnes’s friend took a couple steps forward extending his hand to help you up. Hesitantly, you took it. His grip was strong, and his pull even stronger. He hauled you to your feet as though you weighed nothing.

“Name’s Steve Rogers. Most people call me either Rogers or Cap. What’s your name, Hon?”

“Y/N,” you answered, your voice trembling a little because of the adrenaline in your system.

“You really know how to pick ‘em, Buck. This one has some bite to her, and she’s a dime. When did you start managing to pull quality dames?” Mr. Barnes’s voice was gravelly, still dripping with the memory of the sleep that had just been so unceremoniously ripped away from him.

“What, like you could pull better? Didn’t you have to beg the eight you saw at the Gala just to get her phone number?” As Mr. Barnes stepped out of the room, you could see a satisfied grin plastered on his face. His messy brown hair framed his strong jawline, and – oh god, he was shirtless. You weren’t prepared for how the sweatpants rose low on his hips and accentuated that V-line . . . Barnes’s expression turned smug as he once again caught you staring, but said nothing as he turned his attention to Rogers. “She’s the one Widow should have mentioned to you. Pierce’s Civilian pawn. He’s getting reckless again, and he doesn’t care who he hurts.”

“Buck, Widow hasn’t checked in since before the Gala.” Concern creased the faces of both men, and the room somehow grew colder. “Tell me everything that’s happened.”

As the men made their way to the kitchen table both Mr. Barnes and Rogers sent several texts. Probably about this Widow person. You silently hoped they were okay. Mr. Barnes filled Rogers in on the events of the past week, and you started making coffee. You needed something to do to keep your mind even, plus it gave you an excuse to stay in the kitchen and attempt to get a read on the newcomer.

“So he just threw her at you?” Rogers inquired.

“Like he was doing her a favor, yeah. Didn’t even give her any information about what she was getting into.” They were definitely close. Old friends or old colleagues? Possibly both. They were too familiar to be just co workers. . . Is that what you call two mobsters? Co-workers? The smell of coffee began to fill the air.

“Would either of you like some?” You interrupted the silence following Barnes’s last statement.

“Yeah! Thanks, Y/N. Got any sugar?” Rogers responded warmly. You grabbed a mug and the sugar substitute that Mr. Barnes kept for coffee.

“There you go, Mr. Rogers. Mr. Barnes, do you want any?” Rogers laughed. A rich, genuine sound that you didn;t expect to hear in a mob safe house so far away from civilization.

“Mr. Rogers is a little too formal for my taste, Hon. Just Rogers, or Steve if that’s easier for you.” He glanced over at Mr. Barnes, his face one of absolute mischief. “I thought you said you weren’t involved, Mr. Barnes.” You feel your face go bright red, realizing immediately what Steve was implying. Even through the embarrassment, you had to admit it. Mr. Barnes was a top, and that was hot as hell.

“We’ve been living together for a week, Doll, and because of training,” he emphasized the word, shooting a subtle glare in Steve’s direction, “we’ve been pretty close to each other. Call me Bucky, not Mr. Barnes. Coffee would be great.” You pour a mug, placing it in front of him. You already knew he liked to pretend he liked his coffee black, but always slipped in some cinnamon when he thought you weren’t looking. You added some while Steve was distracted and placed the mug in front of Bucky. You turned, but not before you saw his smile. People had never really cared for him in small ways, that much he’d admitted to. Tends to happen when you’re one of the country’s most feared Fixers. You turn back to your coffee pot, hiding your grin in your mug.

“There’s one thing that still confuses me,” Steve said in between sips. “If you weren’t involved with Pierce’s drug business, then why didn’t he just tell you the report would be corrected and move on?”

“Well . . . best I can tell, he thought someone had sent me. He didn’t figure out that I was clueless until he’d already said too much. I’ve always been good at reading people, and he took notice. I guess he figured he could use that. I didn’t know anything until I got in the car, and even then just that I was supposed to “analyze a new player” or something like that, because he doesn’t like unknowns.”

“Why didn’t you run?”

“Because he locked her in a room with him, alone, then threatened to make her disappear if she didn’t comply.” Bucky fielded the question for you, his tone serious as the grave. Steve’s whole demeanor changed. Gone was the happy friend pushing Bucky’s buttons. Instead, his eyes hardened and he felt colder than ice as he uttered the words

“Don’t disappoint me.” You dropped your mug. It all made sense. You could feel your heart rate increase, and you fought the pit in your stomach.

“You’re Avalanche.” You felt the sound resonate in your vocal cords. You heard the words, but you couldn’t fathom that you’d been the one to speak them. The final member of the Triumvirate was sitting right in front of you. And you’d tried to beat him with a crowbar.

Steve’s attention turned to you, his face still cold. He says nothing, but raises an eyebrow.

“How do you figure that, Honey?” The question somehow sounded like a threat.

“It’s okay, Steve,” Bucky assured him. “I’m the one who told her about White Watch and the Triumvirate. She needed to know the kind of man Pierce is. The part about me, too. I mentioned Avalanche, but only briefly and with no detail.” Rogers’s icy nature subsided, however his brow was now knit with confusion.

“Then how did she . . .”

“I told you, she’s good.” Bucky stated as Steve’s expression morphed from confused to impressed.

“Damn, that is good. Walk me through how you got there?”

“Sure, just don’t take it personally?” You made your way to the kitchen table, taking the chair next to Bucky.

“Why would I take it personally, Y/N?” Your eyes glaze over a little as you begin to mentally run through your observations. When it comes to this, you’re in your element. Your brain is almost like a computer, and you begin analyzing your collected data.

“You know where the cabin is. I don’t even know that, Bucky put me under the moment we got in the cat at Stark’s Gala. Not only do you know where it is, you have a key, door was locked. Out of the three doors, you knew which one wasn’t dead bolted or blocked with something besides just the lock. You made a point of locking said door behind you. I’ve been up for a while and didn’t see or hear you, which means you’re familiar with the area. The moment you stepped foot in the cabin, you didn’t sneak. Your footsteps were loud enough that I’m surprised Bucky slept through it. The Winter Soldier is one of, if not THE most, feared Fixers in the country, possibly the world. You willingly kicked his door open while he was sleeping. I’d bet money he keeps a weapon close enough to wherever he’s sleeping. You addressed him extremely informally, and his response was to throw a pillow at his head. That kind of familiarity only comes from friendship, and friends aren’t easy to come across in your line of work. Bucky held me at gunpoint for flirting with him.”

“That’s a bit of an exaggeration, Doll,” Bucky pouted.

“You were talking about someone named Widow not checking in. That means you work in coordination. That was part of Avalanche’s job. You’re at least familiar with Mr. Pierce. I know he’s the Wolf. But the one thing that really clued me in? ‘Don’t disappoint me.” Mr. Pierce said that to me in the limo. I haven’t told anyone that. Bucky finished the sentence for me without my saying it. And you just pulled it out of thin air, so you’ve worked closely with the Wolf. The only person I can imagine ever being close with both the Wolf and the Winter Soldier is the Avalanche.” Steve’s jaw almost hits the floor. Even Bucky looks a bit stunned. Neither man speaks, so you continue. “There’s only a couple more things, but they’re more of an afterthought than an observation.”

“And what on God’s green earth could those be?” Steve responded after picking his jaw up off the floor.

“First off, I was able to sneak up on you. You let your guard down inside the Cabin.”

“And the second?” Bucky inquired.

“Since I’ve been here, Steve’s only called me by my name, or a variation of “honey.” He’s wearing blue jeans and a white shirt, possibly the most basic combination known to man. His job was organization, order, and precision. He doesn’t strike me as the creative type.” The confusion returns to Steve’s face.

“What does my creative ability have to do with my cover name?”

“Avalanche is kind of an awful name for a Mob Boss. It seems like one of the only things within your creative reach,” you state matter-of-factly. Bucky erupts into laughter, about falling out of his chair. To your surprise, so does Steve.

“In my defense, I didn’t have a lot of warning,” Steve claims between giggles. “Besides, who says you could have done better?”

“Vortex,” you state, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“And what, pray tell, is a vortex?” Steve quizzes you, one eyebrow raised and still giggling

“Counter-clockwise flow of air that keeps colder air towards the poles of the globe. Kind of like the weather version of troop deployment. Plus, its reach increases in the winter, sometimes as far as the jetstream.” You sip your coffee, stunning both men with such a quick answer.

“That . . . Is actually better. Can I change my name?”

“Avalanche is presumed dead after Pierce's last stunt, and I’d say it’s a decent upgrade from Frosty the Snowman.” Bucky’s quip almost makes you choke on your coffee. “Now, what do you mean field trip day, Steve?”

“Knew you’d forget. We were going to make a trip over to Griffiss. Better get going before the sun rises too much.” Bucky stands and starts to make his way back to his room, then calls over his shoulder.

“Hey, Steve? Get her prepped with snow gear from the bunker. This’ll be a great training opportunity.”

As the months progressed, you made the trips to the abandoned Griffiss Air Force Base regularly with Steve and Bucky. Between the extra exercise and all the training they had you doing, you were becoming more capable. You’d even managed to catch Bucky off guard during training and take him down. The mobsters used Griffiss as their own personal storage unit. Heavily fortified, places for guards, and easy to defend. Having a structure so close by was extremely useful. It had to be only a couple miles from the cabin, the walk was a little under two hours both ways. You were settling into your new life. You didn’t want to admit it, but you were growing to think of Bucky as more than a friend as well. The way he smelled. The way he moved. Hell, the dumb yet endearing things you’d heard him say in his sleep. Your heart had been beating a little fast when he’d lent you one of his hoodies after the first snowy trip to Griffiss, but now . . .

You had just come back from a supply run to the base. Steve was off doing whatever it is Steve does, so you and Bucky went alone. It was a dreary April, barely 40ºF and pouring over the entire three hour adventure. You shiver as you peel your wet jeans off of your body. Steve had brought several changes of clothes, but unfortunately none of them suited for heavy rain. Even your panties were soaked. Damn, it was laundry day, too. You pulled on a clean pair of underwear, then bent over to peel your soaked socks off. You hear a sharp knock at your bedroom door. Bucky opens it almost immediately after, not having waited a second for a response.

“Hey, Doll, what do ya think about–” You both freeze. Your ass is facing the door and on full display. As you look back at him, you could see his eyes slowly roam over you. They traced the lines of your thighs, finally settling on your backside. A form of hunger lit his eyes, and you finally understood the satisfaction on his face whenever he caught you shamelessly ogling him. The only clean underwear you had left was a thong. Steve had slipped it and a little black dress in amongst your clothes with a knowing wink and an “I dunno, maybe they’ll come in handy.” You silently thanked Steve. You’d bake him something later. You slowly stand up, Peeling the wet shirt off of your frame, letting it drop to the floor.

“Hey, Buck, what’s up?” You grab the hoodie that you’d successfully stolen from him. As long as you were able to successfully poach it from his closet without getting caught in the act, he didn’t fight you too hard to get it back. The little games you played made your heart flutter, there was this feeling of ease around him.

“I-I um– That is–” The Winter Soldier took a moment to collect himself. This was the perfect day to run out of bras, and you looked damned good from behind. You were glad to see that he was appreciating it. “I lit a fire. You wanna come warm up? I think Steve dropped off some new DVDs last time he was here.” His eyes now shamelessly wandered as he spoke. Water dripped down your skin as you did your best to slip the Hoodie over your naked

“Yeah! I’d love to, Just let me grab a towel for my hair.”

Within ten minutes, you’re curled up with Bucky by the fireplace. The warmth feels amazing, but leaning back on Bucky’s chest . . . you made a silent wish to never have to leave.

“So . . .” Bucky started, a smirk playing on his lips. “Thong, huh? Who’s that for, the deer?” When Bucky was comfortable, he made fun. You didn’t mind it. In fact, you’d learned to shoot back just as quickly.

“Nah, Steve brought it for me.” Not TECHNICALLY a lie. Bucky groans.

“PLEASE tell me you mean physically bringing it to you. You’ll never live it down if you’re getting Frosty the Snowman’s carrot.”

“One, you and I have both trained with him. You know it’s bigger than a carrot. Two, nah. It’s for this guy I kinda like.” You were feeling brave.

“Oh? Who is he? I need to make sure he’s worth your time.” Bucky’s ears picked up. You’d met a couple of his underlings in the months you’d been making trips to the Base, but not many.

“Longer hair, kind of intimidating . . .” you sigh. The banter is fun, but this doesn’t feel like the place. You turn to face him, looking up at the face he’s attempting to will to a neutral expression. “Can I just show you instead?”

“Show me? How are you going to–” You spring forward, your lips capturing his in a kiss. He pulls back in surprise. Oh no. Have you made a mistake? Did you misread? You couldn’t have, it’s so– Bucky’s arms quickly snake around your hips and pull you up to straddle his lap. He locks one arm around your waist, the other hand pulling your face back to meet his. Bucky’s movements are that of a man starved for affection. His grip is strong, his muscles tensing against your body as you press yourself against his chest. Your teeth graze his bottom lip and he gently moans into your mouth. You ground yourself down against his hardening bulge, whining for more.

“Fuck, baby, you have no idea how long I’ve waited for this . . .” he groans as he tilts his head back, exposing the side of his neck. You trail kisses from his collarbone to his ear, nibbling gently on the lobe as you feel his large hands squeeze your ass possessively. You lean your body against his, resting your head on his shoulder.

“Why didn’t you make a move, then?”

“I essentially kidnapped you from Stark’s Gala, drugged you, and have kept you in this safehouse for close to what, five, six months? What would you have done in my position?” You wiggle a little, considering your answer.

“Okay, I guess I see your point . . . But this experience hasn’t been entirely awful.” You nip at his ear again, drawing out a low growl as his hands start to trace the lines of your thighs.

“And this,” he all but purred, “is going to be an immensely pleasurable one.” You squeak as he flips you, pushing the hoodie up as he explores your body. He starts at your hip bone, placing kisses and nips across your torso. He takes one of your nipples into his mouth, swirling his tongue around it, causing you to whimper in pleasure. One arm slipping along the curve of your back, he pulls you up into him. His knee firmly between your legs, his fingers ghosting over the growing wet spot between your legs.

“Mmmh, already so wet for me.” The hand grabs your thigh, lips crashing back against yours and– The door slams open. You both sit bolt upright, but nothing could have prepared you for what you saw next.

“STEVE!!” Bucky roared. He vaulted over the couch that had previously been his backrest. The blonde man lay crumpled on the floor, blood staining most of his clothing.

“Buck . . . I’m so sorry . . . I couldn’t save her . . .” his words are faint, and he loses consciousness as you rushed to his side, trying to see where he was hurt.

“Get the fuck back!” Bucky yelled, catching you off guard. He struggled to flip Steve over, but with Steve being almost completely dead weight, it wasn’t an easy task.

“Buck, let me help you! We need to make sure not to aggravate his wounds too much, what if he has a neck injury?”

“Don’t you think I fucking know that?” he growls menacingly. “Go get the first aid kit. My room. Under the bed.” You run, yanking the kit out from the rope that secured it to the bottom of the bed frame. Scurrying back, you see Bucky finally has Steve on his back and is peeling off his clothes. Various cuts, bruises, and burns litter his body. You throw the kit open, immediately grabbing the wipes. You needed to get the wounds clean to prevent infection, or this could be a whole lot worse. You lean over, trying to assess where to start.

“Don’t fucking touch him.” Bucky’s voice is low, almost feral. You’d never seen him lose control like this. You knew he and Steve had been friends since childhood, but you hadn’t grasped how strong that connection was.

“Barnes!” you bellowed. “He’s bleeding out. I want to help and two sets of hands are fucking better than one. Let. Me. Help.”

“ . . . Okay. Start cleaning the wounds. I’ll dress them.” You rip open the packet in your hands, starting to dab quickly at the cuts. As soon as you move on to the next, Bucky bandages the wound. You both work meticulously, but as you work down his side, you see something clutched in his hand. You pry it out, and a pit forms in your stomach. A small smartphone rested in the palm of your hand. Blood splashed across the screen and the charm you’d gifted your friend Wanda on your girl’s trip last year. Shit.

“Bucky, this–”

“Shut up.”

“But it’s-”

“Shut. THE FUCK. UP.”

“It’s–” Bucky shoves you. Hard. You fly across the room, sliding to a stop.

“WHAT PART OF SHUT UP DON’T YOU UNDERSTAND, BITCH?” Bucky was completely irrational. “Get the fuck out. Get the fuck out of my sight, get the fuck out of this building. I don’t give a shit what it is, I have to save the only person who’s ever given a FUCK about me!” He was in what could only be described as a blind rage, and you felt tears well in your eyes. Irrational or not, blind rage or not, that hurt. You didn’t deserve that. You did the only thing you could think of in that moment. You bolted to your room. He wanted you out of the building? Fine. You grabbed the only thing left in your room: the little black dress. Throwing it on under the hoodie and shoving your feet into the boots you used to hike. You throw the phone on the bed, take a shaky breath, and open the window.

The rain hadn’t let up, but there was only one place you could go. Griffiss Air Force Base. It was remote, abandoned, and had climate controlled units that Steve and Bucky had hooked solar panels up to so you would have heat. You ran as fast as you could. Your dress was riding up and you hadn’t tied your boots properly, but you didn’t care. You had to keep moving. It was getting dark, and you didn’t want to be caught in the forest alone at night. You pushed forwards, making better time than you’d ever made. Tears stream down your face, Bucky’s words still ringing through your head.

“WHAT PART OF SHUT UP DON’T YOU UNDERSTAND, BITCH?”

You knew it was important to save Steve– you’d never thought otherwise– but you could have told him about the phone while you worked together to save Steve’s life. The base is within your sights as your sobs slip past your control. Just as you’re preparing yourself to climb over the razor wire topped fence, you hear the click of a bullet being chambered behind your head.

“Hello, Y/N,” Alexander Pierce sneers. “Fancy meeting you here, you traitorous little bitch.”

Tag List: @vbecker10 @caritobbg

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erenfox · 6 months

Text

Y'all.

Episode 4.

It's the best piece of work Marvel has made after they made IW and Endgame.

spoiler alert 🚨

lemme start off with our favourite Miss Jolly Rancher Unhinged Clock and Victorian-Era HWR Fangirl. I KNEW Ravonna had somehow helped HWR in building the TVA, but him erasing her memories was straight up evil.

Then we come to the absolutely gruesome deaths of Dox and the others. HOLY SHIT MISS JOLLY RANCHER IS AWFUL like she was enjoying every second of Dox and her hunters literally getting crushed to their deaths. B-15 was traumatised, to say the least and you can see on Ravonna and Brad's faces a hint of disgust. But Miss Minutes grinning like that - outright disturbing.

I can't get over OB and Victor fanboying over each other's work - it was so funny yet wholesome.

Now let's talk about Loki and Sylvie. As a diehard Sylki stan you know I am, my fangirling heart was overjoyed seeing these two lovesick ducks working together willingly! I mean, yea, they did have that rather awkward talk in Pie Land (mind you that's it's official name henceforth) but after that they worked together as teammates! Now I must say, I completely agree with Sylvie on snapping on Mobius, because, well, yeah, the multiverse is a bigger priority than pie and I legit don't get why tf antis hate on Sylvie for doing so. Like you hated her for not giving a damn abt the TVA + the multiverse, but now when she stood up to do so y'all are hating on her again?? Like?? Make up ur mind, smh.

Anyways, back to Sylki. Sylvie got stuck in the elevator and the way she and Loki worriedly called out each other's names was so soft! And the "You ok?" trope CAME BACK OMG! THAT PHRASE IS LITERALLY THE BACKBONE OF SYLKI! When I tell you my fangirling heart screamed with joy omg-

The the whole paradox scene which brought Ep 1 back in a circle. I absolutely loved the way our Loki realised what he had to do and went real slow to prune his past self just so that Past Loki could get a glimpse of Sylvie; which would then lead him to be more determined than ever to go look for her. And I quite literally died on Sylvie being confused af as to wtf she just witnessed.

Then there's the telephone scene. OH MY GOD it was literally OB all this time when fans were out here speculating it was Kang or someone lmao. Both Loki and Sylvie yelling simultaneously to turn the security thing off gives out so much Couple Vibes, I absolutely loved it AAHHAHAH-

AND. THE. BRAD. SCENE. OOF.

our friendly neighbourhood lovesick ducks teaming up to enchant Brad was just too good. Loki in his hot, creepy voice luring Brad into a dark area while Sylvie very swiftly just straight up grabbing his face from the back - pure horror. Absolutely loved it, 10/10. Tho I must say, to do execute elaborate scheme, these two must have done some detailed planning (=more Sylki moments we were robbed off).

BUT THAT ENDING DUCKING MURDERED ME BROO OMG

Can we talk abt Victor's redemption? Man had been portrayed as evil since Quantumania, and has been manipulated by both Ravonna and Miss Jolly Rancher, but at the end of the day, he was a sweetheart. Man fanboys OB and basically became besties with him and Casey, worked together to create the solution to a mess he most certainly didn't want to be a part of, and then himself stepped up to fix the Loom once and for all to prove to everyone (and not let Sylvie's choice of sparing him go to waste) that tho he contained HWR's DNA, he wasn't HWR - he was a far better person HWR could have ever been. Seeing him getting spaghettified was tragically heart-wrenching, man deserved so much better :(

BUT HOLY SHIT DID THAT ONE HECK OF A GODDAMN CLIFFHANGER LEFT ME SPEECHLESS LIKE WTF WAS THAT?? U can't just kill off a character who had redeemed himself, and then make our main character and his homies watch literally EVERYTHING THEY WORKED SO HARD FOR GET ANNIHILATED TO THE GROUND-

But we know our God of Mischief isn't dead, and so are his homies eheheh.

However the looks on everyone's face was tragic. Loki knew all was lost and had tears in his eyes. Sylvie looked like she had accepted defeat and her death. Mobius and OB were in denial, refusing to believe that Victor was dead. Casey and B-15 looked horrified, as they realised what was to come now upon them.

Tldr, this episode was an ABSOLUTE BANGER. IM READY TO CLAIM IT SUPERIOR THAN ENDGAME, come and fight me. Its a top cinematic piece, and the suspense to Ep 5 is eating me up.

Ig i should go and study for the 4 tests this week before ep 5 ;-;

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scribespirare · 10 months

Note

That Miguel meets Miles’ parents fic was so good! But for some reason it made me think of Miles showing his mother a picture on his phone and then she scrolls and sees a pic or video she definitely shouldn’t see

oh my god okay so like. Not the same situation but you reminded me of this. Once when I was 18 I was sitting in the living room watching movies w/ my family (dad, mom, younger brother) when one of the dogs comes trotting out my bedroom. Didn't pay him any mind until he dropped something on the floor and left it there and my dad in a slightly strained voice went, "Um, deadname, is that yours? Because I know it's not your mother's."

It was my vibrator. My bright purple vibrator right there for the whole fuckin world to see. I have never leapt up faster than I did in that moment to snatch it up. My mother thought it was the funniest shit she'd ever seen.

Okay enough tanget fksjcjskdkd

Miles is careful.

Maybe not as careful as most sixteen year olds considering his day job, and maybe not as careful as the people in his life want him to be. But still. Careful.

So Miles doesn't take nudes and Miguel doesn't ask him for them and they keep their texts pretty clean.

That's why Miles never sends Miguel any nudes. Miles is underage and any pictures he takes of himself are technically considered CSEM. Since Miguel's phone is from another dimension, nothing he sends or takes can be traced back to him, but Miles? His phone is firmly of this universe and his pictures can be recovered if someone really wanted to dig up dirt on him.

Usually.

Mostly.

Okay so Miles is still a teenager and Miguel can't seem to keep his hands off so maybe sometimes they sext. And maybe sometimes Miguel sends Miles the hottest pictures Miles has ever seen. It's fine. Nobody can trace them back to Miguel so he can't get in trouble for being inappropriate with a minor. And Miles can't get in trouble for having them on hand.

And because Miles is so careful, he stores Miguel's pictures in a locked folder. Like any self respecting teenager does with their porn.

All of this is to say that when Miles opens his photos and sees Miguel's dick front and center? He freezes in panic. Because that is not supposed to be there. He's careful!

It's a good picture. Miguel is hard and leaking, holding his cock against his toned stomach. But the quality of the picture isn't the problem here.

The problem is that Miles is holding his phone for his mother to see. Because he'd wanted to show her some new art he'd done on this building a couple blocks over.

"Mijo." The sound of her voice finally breaks Miles out of his trance and he squeaks, fumbling his phone desperately like if he can get it out of her sight she might completely forgot about it. He manages to get it into his pocket and then just stands there, unsure how she's going to react.

"Mijo," she says again, and he glances down at her, wincing.

His mother looks up at him and he can tell immediately she's trying so hard not to laugh. Her lips are pressed tight together and her shoulders are trembling with effort.

"Mom, please," Miles whines, and she finally gives in and starts laughing. She pats his shoulder, shaking her head.

"Baby, tenemos los mismos gustos," she says, and then she's laughing all over again like it's the funniest thing she's ever heard. Miles wants to crawl into a hole and die.

Also, he doesn't want to know his mother's sexual tastes. Ever. He wonders if Miguel has some future tech than can erase this interaction from Miles' mind forever.

His mother pats his arm again. "Okay, okay, I'm done. Go hide in your room like I know you want to."

Miles isn't gonna look a gift horse in the mouth. He pretends not to hear when she calls a parting, "And learn how to make that stuff private!" after him.

The only good thing about this is that she didn't realize a full grown man had sent the picture to Miles. Small fucking miracles.

#asks #requests #flowerfang #nsft

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eviesaurusrex · 1 year

Text

ᴀʟʟ ᴛʜɪꜱ ᴛɪᴍᴇ | ᴛ. ᴇɴɢʟᴇʀ

Theo Engler x Fem!Reader

summary: YN and Theo were always close, and everyone thought someday they might end up together—until they got new neighbors. Only after the incident does Theo realize what he always had right in front of his eyes.

word count: 3.5k

warnings: mentions of head trauma and a leg injury, mentions of a hospital environment, two idiots in love, Matthew being the wingman Theo needs, quick mention of past unhealthy relationships (really, super short), sarcasm, fluff

author’s note: I’ve been rewatching season 3 and rediscovered my love for Theo. I really tried not to describe the reader’s looks—except for her clothes—to make this one as inclusive as possible and appropriate for all female readers. If I did at some point describe the reader’s skin or eyes or hair etc., through explicit colors or forms instead of something metaphorical, please let me know, and I will correct it (because, in that case, it must’ve slipped my eyes while proofreading) :3

***

He woke through the massive pounding in his head, making him groan and gasp for air at the stinging and unpleasant as hell feeling. “Fuck,” was Theo’s first word while he blinked into the sunlight falling through the window into the sterile-white room. He could hear people outside the half-opened door while his eyes wandered over the room—a hospital room—and stopped at the sight of a beautiful bouquet consisting of periwinkles, lavender, small hydrangeas, and delphiniums.

He knew these flowers by heart because…

Blinking to stop the sudden tears from falling, Theo slowly sat up and stretched his hand out to touch the delicate petals with their enticing scents, reminding him of her. She had always smelled like the walking and living personification of spring, always bringing him comfort if he needed it, but mostly reminded him that good things, and good people, still existed in this world even though he sometimes doubted it.

“She always brought a new one as soon as the first flowers started to wilt.”

Matthew’s voice almost sent Theo into cardiac arrest, pushing him to pull his hand back as if he was caught doing something illegal—or filthy. But one look at the man he had always considered a father figure told him that quite the opposite was the case, and he took a deep breath. “She… she was here?” The thought alone of her sitting on the uncomfortable-looking chair, standing right next to the white bed, watching over him with those worried lines between her eyebrows he always had wanted to erase, was too good to be true.

Especially considering how he had treated her in the past couple of months—or, better, how he had ignored her existence entirely.

His dad settled down onto the chair he knew she would’ve hated but still wouldn’t mind ruining her back on, a cup of coffee in his hands, holding onto it for dear life. He stared, didn’t let his eyes wander from his face, as if he was scared he wouldn’t be awake when he looked again. “I had to force her to go home. Every day. That girl would have stayed here and given a flying fuck on sleep if it meant she could keep watching over you. Most stubborn person I ever met.” Matthew shook his head in mild wonder before taking his son in again. “You treated her badly, Theo.” And Theo could hear the screaming loud reproach in those softly spoken words and knew where it came from. He knew how much his dad had liked the girl he one day had brought home and had continued to do so ever since. She had been practically a part of their family.

A deep sigh left the young man as he nodded slowly and carefully, his head still a throbbing pain in his ass, to which now his leg and knee joined to form one big party of pain. But he deserved this more than anything else. “Did she say anything?” He needed, no, had to know if there still was a chance for him and his salvation, only grantable by her.

Matthew shrugged. “Not much. Not to me, at least. I think she talked to you quite a lot. Well, it was more of a rambling nature, but I think she told you about everything you missed out on after you decided to shout at her and call her a jealous bitch and all that fun stuff I overheard that night. And yes, I have to remind you of it to get one thing in your head.” Theo swallowed thickly, his stomach turning and twisting as the pictures of that night invaded his mind again. It made him feel sick to think of her tears again. “You treated her like shit, and still, she came all the way back here after hearing what happened to you. She came back, and only force could part her from this room. So, either she lost her mind and memories of you being a total dick, or she still loves you.”

All the oxygen got pressed out of his lungs at those last words. Theo could feel how his mouth partly hung open, felt how his mind had trouble keeping up with these thoughts.

She… loved him?

She was supposed to love him?

“I think you misinterpreted some stuff,” Theo finally muttered after minutes of stretching silence, his heart pounding in his chest. He was glad that he wasn’t hooked onto the heart monitor standing left to his bed. That thing would freak out and would call every nurse and doctor on this floor into his room. With another sigh, he rubbed over his mouth and jaw and shook his head in denial. “She doesn’t love me. Never had. Never will. We were only… friends.” Though he finally could admit that deep in his mind and deep in his heart, he had always felt… more, since the very start, probably since their first encounter at Stanford when she ran into him and spilled her steaming chai latte all over his hoodie. The memory made a smile tuck at his lips. And now, remembering her radiant smile after he had assured her that the hoodie already had been on the Throw this old shit in the garbage list, his heart started to ache because fuck, he missed her.

Matthew watched him quietly, a pleased expression settling on his tired face, mixed in with the relief of seeing his son awake. He knew he should call or at least text her to let her know that Theo was alright, but he also knew that she had her exams and decided to keep silent for a bit longer—for both their sakes. First, he had to make sure that his blind idiot of a son finally realized what he had right in front of his eyes all this time. And Matthew thought that he had made some progress. “I know you, Theo. I might not be the number one dad with all the Best Dad trophies and cups lining up on the shelves, but I still know you. I have eyes and some experience with being an idiot in love myself. I know what I saw, and that wasn’t mere friendship.” He patted Theo’s shoulder and finally pressed the call button to let the doctor know that his son was finally awake, letting him think in peace.

***

Being back in Madre Linda was connected with that strange feeling of loneliness. YN couldn’t quite describe how it felt and only knew that it was all-consuming and ever-present. She had never been at home in this weird suburban dream, never really particularly fitted into this strange, split-off part of reality. The death of her parents and only living relatives right at the beginning of her first month at Stanford wasn’t really helpful with that, either. Only T—…

No.

Shaking her head violently, the young woman forbade herself to go down that road again. It was bad enough how much time she had spent in that damned hospital, watching over him like she had some weird claim or right to do so, to act like a worried girlfriend because, obviously, she wasn’t even a friend anymore. It was even worse how much she craved to go back, to just jump into the car and drive back there, to tell his unconscious mind all the things she couldn’t tell him in the past months because of what had happened. She couldn’t even be mad at the woman who ruined her only real and good relationship with a man because that poor woman was dead.

And one wasn’t supposed to speak ill of the dead.

Sighing, YN pulled on the long sleeves of the flowy blouse with the many flower-formed embroideries—a bad habit she couldn’t let go of—before she stretched her arm and got a hold of the book on the top shelf in the library. Carefully, she put it atop the other one already resting in the crook of her left arm, and while her fingers gently stroked over the hardcover, her eyes wandered over the rows next to her, scanning for another one of her favorites. Finding it, she grabbed it and went over to the desk, smiling at the familiar sight of the blind librarian.

“Hey, Dante,” she greeted him in a library-appropriate voice—not too loud, but not a whisper either—and put the three books onto the counter. “So, it’s true. Our very own YN is back in town.” Her smile widened at that, and gently pressed his fingers in return after he had found her hand. “Yeah, well. You know what they say: You’ll always get dragged back.”

She wasn’t sure if she was a fan of that habit.

Dante nodded with a thoughtful look on his face, his eyes staring into the black void that was his constant companion. “I’m happy you’re back for as long as you want,” the man smiled and pressed her fingers a second time before moving to the books. “And what do we have here… Wuthering Heights, Rebecca, and Pride and Prejudice.” YN chuckled softly at his raised brows. “You know me, Dante. I’m nothing but a creature of habit.” That’s probably also why she couldn’t keep her distance from the boy who had insulted her in more than just one way.

Recreating our past unhealthy habits and relationships, aren’t we?

The voice in her head had much to say these past couple of weeks, and it was a miracle to get her to shut up. She should be named the hero of the nation on those rare days.

“And that’s why I like you, YNN. Okay, okay, and because you probably saved my marriage multiple times by looking after the kids when we needed a night out.” They both grinned to themselves as Dante checked out her books and put the receipt with the return date into the first book. “Speaking of my dear husband. We would love it if you’d come by for dinner while you’re here.” YN gently squeezed his wrist and nodded even though he couldn’t see it. “’Think I can do that. But only when I’m allowed to finally meet the new addition to your family.” The surprise on his face was priceless. “Nothing stays a secret long in this town, D,” she giggled and put her books back into the crook of her arm, pressing her priced possessions against her chest. “I’ll come around on Friday. See you, favorite librarian!”

And with that, she left the library, her favorite place in this vestibule of hell itself, and walked out into the sunlight streaming down through the lush green leaves of the trees around her. Taking a deep breath and inhaling the scents of blossoming flowers and watered grass, YN got a tighter hold on her books while pulling out the phone from the back pocket of her jeans and started scrolling through the text messages and mails she had received in the past two hours since leaving the house and spending them in her little corner of happiness. But her attention got stolen away on her way to the car by a voice so familiar it hurt somewhere deep down inside of her hearing it again.

“My love, my heart, my everything,

I know I've made mistakes, and caused you pain,

But please believe me when I say,

I never meant to hurt you in any way.”

YN stopped dead in her tracks at the first sound of his words and slowly turned to a waiting car with a living Theo Engler next to it on crutches, whose eyes were fixated on her.

“I was foolish and blind, and couldn't see,

The love and happiness you gave to me,

But now I see it all so clearly,

And I'm sorry for the pain that I've caused dearly.

I know it won't be easy to forgive,

The wounds I've left, the scars that live,

But I promise you, with all my heart,

I'll never let us drift apart.”

Her lips parted in utter surprise because she knew poems weren’t his thing, especially not writing them himself. And her brain didn’t catch up to the meaning behind his words, not understanding why he would say these things to her of all people. But she couldn’t stop him. She couldn’t even move from her spot.

“I'll make it up to you, in every way,

I'll show you love, each and every day,

I'll be there for you, through thick and thin,

And make sure our love will never dim.

So please my love, give me a chance,

To show you how much I truly romance,

I'm sorry for messing things up,

And I promise, I'll never give up.”

He stood awkwardly there as the last syllable left his mouth, and YN could sense how uncomfortable it made him that people had stopped and had started to watch like idiots. She felt it herself, the burning feeling of staring eyes in her sides and back, but instead of running away, she slowly walked over to him while Theo started to hobble over to her. They met a few feet down the way of the library and stared one another in the eye, observing each other closely after not sharing a room or close proximity—with both participants fully conscious—in weeks.

She could smell his cologne or aftershave—YN still wasn’t sure what it was—and instinctively leaned in closer, her fingers gripping tighter onto the books in her arm. Theo had bent his head to her, his eyes taking her in and an unsure smile playing around his mouth.

“What-what was this?”

Finally, she had dared to ask, her voice more a whisper than a demanding tone how she had initially intended to sound because, after all, she still was hurt. She couldn’t make this easy on him, but fucking hell, she knew she would cave. Her foolish heart always made her do it at some point.

YN watched as he bit his bottom lip before taking a breath. “I treated you like shit, YNN,” Theo started, and she just had to cock a brow in mocking sarcasm. “You don’t say.” A weak smile appeared on his lips, and a soft chuckle left his throat, which let a shiver run down her entire spine. “I deserve that, yup.” Keeping her mouth shut for the moment, the woman allowed him to continue. “My dad told me that you… well, that you visited me while I was knocked out, even though I treated you like shit before. And he said things that made me think.”—”Oh, now you can use that brain up there? Is it working again? Took you long enough, idiot.” Nope, she couldn’t shut her mouth indefinitely, so much was obvious, but Theo didn’t seem to mind. Instead, that weak smile formed into a soft grin. “Will you let me get to the point before you insult me further, which I totally deserve, and you have every right to do so? I will happily accept every insult thrown my way if it means I can keep you close.”

With a pleased nod, YN moved her hand in a proceeding motion. “You may continue.” And Theo did. “I finally realized what an ass I’ve been and how blind I was. Or… I don’t know, maybe I was in denial because you’re this stunning girl who happened to run into me, and maybe I thought, why should someone like her like me more than a best buddy, so I kept telling myself that it’s stupid to even think about it, and then I got sidetracked with you-know-who, and now that I know what I’ve been feeling all this time, I had to—”

Instead of letting him continue his rambling confession, YN put her free hand into his neck and pulled his face to her, pressing their lips together to shut him up. She could feel how he stopped breathing for a few moments, just like she did at the electrifying taste of his lips on hers before a clattering sound almost made her break the kiss, but his arm, gently wrapping around her waist, was enough to let her keep going for the moment.

“Theo.” It was only a whisper against his lips, into the kiss, her mind still not believing that this was really happening. She had been head over heels for this boy since their unlucky, and probably unpleasant for him, encounter in front of her favorite coffee shop on campus, immediately falling for his dimpled smile and fun way. He had made her feel… light as a cloud and happy as a sunflower in radiant sunlight. Since then, so much had happened, so much time had passed, and YN had made sure that her feelings would be hidden in a box underneath her metaphorical bed, only tended to when she was alone, but mostly ignored. At least she had tried her best.

And this hiding game should now be over? It was a mind-blowing thought, really.

His soft lips pulled her out of her head and back to him, standing in the sunlight and kissing as she had always dreamed about. YN almost whimpered as Theo broke the kiss but was appeased by the soft peck on her lips. “Please tell me that you didn’t just kiss me to shut my embarrassing and annoying mouth,” he begged, mumbling, while their foreheads rested against one another, and suddenly, their eyes locked. Slowly, she shook her head and saw relief flooding his pretty eyes. “I wanted to kiss you since the Chai Latte incident because you, Theo Engler, are an adorable idiot with tendencies to being funny, and frankly, you’re hot.” A wide grin formed on both their faces at YN’s confession. “Those lyrical abilities are improve-worthy, though,” she added and laughed loudly as his fingers started to tickle her side. “Excuse me?! That was almost Shakespearean! As if the man himself got a hold of my soul and let me express these words. You clearly are out of your mind, m’lady.”

Eye rolling, YN giggled before turning serious again. “Even though I kissed you, it doesn’t mean I’m not mad anymore. Because I am. Because fuck. You really hurt me, Theo.” He watched her with worried eyes as those adorable lines appeared between her brows again, and he couldn’t hold back his thumb as it started to gently caress them away. She watched him as well and tried to relax her forehead underneath his tender touch. “I know, YNN. But I will try to make this right. Just, please, give me a chance. I would go down on both knees to beg properly, but that’s not possible, so we have to be satisfied with this. So, I beg for your forgiveness and for another chance because I am deeply and entirely sorry for being such a douchebag.”—”And ass,” YN added, and Theo nodded. “And an ass.”

Humming as if she was deep in thought, the woman cocked her head from one side to the other, almost turning Theo into a puddle of anxiety. “How about this: You could invite me to a chai latte when your leg is better, and we could have a proper first date?” And now, he almost was a puddle of relief. “Yes. Yes! Definitely! Absolutely. Yeah.” YN grinned at that and gently cupped his cheek to press a kiss to the corner of his mouth. “I still will kiss you from time to time until then,” she promised with a shy, small smile and let him press a soft kiss to her lips before she quickly bent down to get the dropped crutch back under his arm. Theo mumbled a Thank you and felt his heart beat even faster than this entire time at the tender act of support and heard the blood rush in his ears as she accompanied him to the car with her hand softly resting on his back and her steps just as slow as he was.

At the car, she only then realized that Matthew was there and probably had watched them the entire time. He still smiled in her direction and waved through the open window on the passenger’s side. “Hey, YNN. Good to see you again.” She waved back, more awkwardly than ever before, and attempted a smile with less embarrassment than she felt. “Hey, Mr. Engler,” was her only response as she opened the door for Theo, and he smiled at her after he finally sat in the seat. “I’ll call you, flower,” he promised with a wider smile as she bent over to press a kiss to his cheek. “You better, or I will throw eggs at your window. No offense, Mr. Engler.” The man only shook his head with a grin before turning the engine on. “You don’t even have a good throwing arm and aim, pretty.” The gentle hit against the back of his head made him chuckle under his breath before taking her hand in his and pressing a kiss to her palm. “I won’t disappear again, ‘promise.”

And with that, they said their Goodbye’s, and YN watched them drive off before walking over to her own car and getting in. But before she could even turn on the engine, her phone started to ring, and after a quick look at the showing picture on her screen, she accepted the call with a laugh.

“I told you I call, pretty flower.”

***

First time writing for Theo, so be gentle with me! I really hope you liked this one :3 As usual: Comments, reblogs, and likes are much appreciated!

#theo engler x reader #theo engler x fem!reader #theo engler x female!reader #theo engler x college!reader #theo engler fluff #theo engler fanfic #theo engler fic #theo engler fanfiction #theo engler oneshot #theo engler one shot #theo engler

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drangeax · 11 months

Text

To know you like the back of my hand

Pairing: Terra/Aqua

Rating: M

Word Count: 15,278

Chapter 3: Corazón ♥️

Summary: "You never stopped lighting my way back."

Read on AO3

"You never stopped lighting my way back."

Those were his first words to her in over a decade. Her tears were relief, a confirmation that she missed him as much as he missed her. That she still yearned for him, that after their world turned upside down, he could set things right.

However, upon their return to the Land of Departure, it was a different story.

They tried gathering the pieces of their fragmented lives, yet nothing was like before. Their friendship barely survived the test of time, fragile and terminal. Those years robbed them of happiness, stole moments, and tried to erase precious memories. Aqua and Ventus were different, changed in a way he couldn't explain. Terra didn't feel like his old self either.

And no one dared to address the subject of Master Eraqus’ death.

The absence of their master was palpable throughout the castle. Every room was strangely empty, even if full of furniture, and the land seemed to have lost its magic. Their home was hollow, and they couldn't make sense of it. Safety was an absurd notion, and it was obvious that they each had problems to work on. Terra kept his issues to himself, while Ventus pretended he had none. Aqua was a different story altogether...

Aqua hurt in silence. Her pain ran deep, a haunting melancholic melody present in her voice. It was evident in how she stared at the door at the end of the residential wing in the morning and evening. Noticeable in the way she knocked on the office door awaiting an answer that would never come. Unmistakable in her changed routine.

She wandered the halls at dawn like a ghost, vacantly searching for a purpose. After lunch, she sat in the library (in her favorite corner), stared out the window, and stayed there until dusk. Then, like clockwork, she wandered until midnight. She rarely stopped. She rarely talked. She was lost. Her life had been on pause long enough that she didn’t know how to resume it. Most of all, she didn’t know how to heal.

What was she looking for? A piece to a puzzle? The answer to a riddle?

I want to help, Terra thought as his eyes followed her lonely form down the hall. Lost...scared...He wanted to snap her out of that trance, bring her back to the here and now. If only he dared to say something.

I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to. I didn’t—

But he couldn't. He never found his voice and walked away every time, pretending it was all an unpleasant memory.

The odd behavior lasted for some time. In the end, it was Ventus who stopped it. The blond crossed paths with her. “Aqua, please stop. You’re not lost anymore. Please stop,” he begged amidst tears and a tight hug. “Come back, please.”

His words barely reached her.

Aqua stood frozen, her gaze glassy and distant. She stared at Terra, and at the same time, she didn’t. He just stood there, an incorporeal prisoner again; a mere spectator as he’d been for the last decade.

***

He couldn’t sleep. It’d been a couple of weeks since their return, and he still wasn’t used to his body back. It itched, and it tickled. It was hot and cold. That hurt, or that should have hurt. He just couldn’t grasp feeling again. Overwhelmed by sensations, Terra left his room at midnight. He wandered down the hall in the dark, instincts guiding him and barely aware of his surroundings when he bumped into something.

It was Aqua.

Her gaze was firmly on his as she stood still. If it wasn’t for the movement of her chest with each breath, she would pass off for a statue.

“Aqua,” he whispered.

She tensed, a foot pointing away from him immediately. Her gaze was that of an animal stepping into a predator's domain by mistake. It was a look that reminded him of what he once was: a cruel and destructive monster that did more harm than good. Don’t look at me like that.

“Hey…" He stretched a hand cautiously.

Aqua flinched, every inch of her body indicating she would run. His heart sank. "I'm sorry…I’m sorry…" Terra turned on his heels, went straight to his room, and shut the door behind him. He rested his forehead against the sturdy wooden surface, listening to her steps fade in the distance. “I’m sorry…”

The next day he moved back into the west wing as he had during his punishment years ago. It was best if he stayed out of her way. There was no reason to torture her further by making her feel hunted.

He settled into isolation, but it didn't phase him this time. Spending a decade in a hellish void certainly put things into perspective, and he wasn't exactly secluded either. Ventus showed up when he least expected it. He made small talk and asked Terra for help with mundane things or hung out, as he called it. Little by little, he salvaged their friendship. Terra was grateful for the company. He'd missed the little guy far too much.

***

“Did we go through this one already?” Terra asked, pointing at the card box on the coffee table before him.

Ventus stopped checking his own box, a comic book in his hand. “I’m not sure. Maybe…?”

Terra sighed and pulled another comic out. “If you can’t remember, it defeats the purpose of cleaning up.” He flipped a couple of pages to see if it jogged his memory. It was pointless. He’d been mindlessly putting things away for Ventus. “Why are you getting rid of these anyway?”

“Sora saved us. Disappeared. Left me with a bunch of younger siblings...” Ventus said, his voice laden with sarcasm as he moved a box out of the way and looked through the next one. Terra did the same. “I’m supposed to share, teach them how to be normal people and that there’s more than one flavor of ice cream.” Ventus sprawled back on the sofa, frustrated. “I mean…why is that my problem?”

Terra shrugged, his eyes scanning over a comic he recognized as his from years ago when he was just a kid looking for adventure and excitement. “If I had to guess, I would say you made it your problem to prove something to Aqua.”

“She pretty much wants me to babysit them.”

“Did she ask you to?” Terra asked without looking.

“Well…no, but—

“Then you’re assuming that’s what she meant, Ven.”

As if summoned, Aqua walked into the living room, scroll in hand and looking distracted. It took her a couple of minutes, but as soon as she noticed Terra, she turned on her heels and left. They were still nowhere near to making up, and their friendship hung by a precarious thin thread.

Ventus turned his head to him, concerned. “Terra…you have to do something about that. You can’t ignore each other forever.”

He looked up from the comic in his hands. “I’m not ignoring her. She doesn’t want me around.”

“Did she tell you that?”

He shook his head. “No, but that ‘deer in the headlights’ look is more than enough for me.”

“So you assume that’s what she wants? I can talk to her if you want—

“Ven, let it go,” he warned him. “It’s best for her."

"What's best for who?" A small voice chimed in from behind the sofa.

Terra looked over the backrest and found Chirithy with its usual unassuming and curious expression. “Nothing. Just saying how some things are better left as they are.”

"Ah, is this about Master Aqua?" Chirithy asked, hopping onto Ventus’ lap.

He didn’t answer and stared at the Dream Eater. Would it leave if it found him unapproachable? Instead, Chirithy climbed atop the sofa backrest and crept close to his face. Great, just great…

“Listen up, Mister!” Chirithy said, pointing a stubby paw at him. “After what you've been through, one would think you’d be more appreciative of what you have. You should make an effort to connect with her again. The longer you wait, the harder it will be.”

This new addition tested his patience to the limit. He’d never been violent per se, but right now, he wanted to accidentally swing his arm, and knock it off the sofa.

“Isn't it true that you grew up together? Don’t you know her like the back of your hand?” It asked, raising its voice. “Her heart—

Ventus spun Chirithy to face him, interrupting its tirade. “Cheers, don’t waste your time with him,” Ventus said, patting its head. He then shot an unusual look at Terra, challenging and without a smile. Seriousness was not for him.

If Ventus didn’t smile, something was wrong, but everything was wrong nowadays. The boy was just figuring out how to cope with the new things life handed to him. Things he didn’t ask for.

None of us asked for it.

“Her heart is what?" Terra asked, defeated.

Chirithy huffed. “It is rather personal and not for me to say. All I can say is she needs you. Didn’t you notice she backed out this time?”

Terra glanced at the door. Cheers has a point. Maybe he hadn’t tried hard enough. Maybe he should go after her and begin his elimination process to get to the heart of the issue. “Alright,” he said, putting the comic down. “I’ll give it a try, but…I'll do it alone. Otherwise, I won’t be able to talk to her properly.”

Ventus and Chirithy smiled widely. The room seemed bright all of a sudden.

“You look like idiots right now,” he said, heading for the library, confident.

I can fix it. I have this. I…

The heavy double doors of the library greeted him sooner than expected. He hadn’t thought about how the actual conversation would unfold. What would he say? Where did he start? His confidence plummeted.

“Aqua, I know I’m your least favorite person now, but I want to make things right.” He shook his head. Definitely not the way he wanted to start. “Aqua, I know you hate me—no, that sounds stupid.” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Aqua I…I…”

It was pointless to give it much thought. Words are often empty when premeditated, and proper apologies come from the heart. Terra took a deep breath and stepped into the library, wandering between the bookshelves silently. He knew exactly where she was; he was just delaying the inevitable. Then he turned left at the last shelf…

Aqua sat close to the window, curled up in an armchair watching the sunset. It’d been a while since she stopped her 'hauntings,' as he called them. Nevertheless, this part remained—a penitence of sorts. She turned her head slightly, their gazes meeting in silence. His heart skipped a beat, and he didn’t dare move, waiting for her approval to approach. She broke eye contact first and resumed her window watch. Terra sighed, relieved she stayed. A decade later, he still had to compete with boring glass panes for her attention.

Well, the sunset was beautiful and easier to look at than him right now. It probably makes her feel better too.

He stepped closer, his legs heavy like lead, dragging him down. What if she doesn't want to make up? What if she hates me? He paused, his mind swarming with questions. His heart hesitantly reached out to hers, trying to feel her light and figure out her state of mind. It wasn't a smart move as a choking feeling took hold of him. It was tormenting, like drowning in the dark abyss of the sea, panicking, unable to tell up from down. He stopped, and the next thing he knew, he’d kneel under her wary gaze.

“I’m sorry,” he said, trying to meet her gaze. Aqua remained silent. Her eyes filled with hidden tears. He humbled himself and lowered his head like when the Master demanded respect. “I’m sorry I hurt you…I’m sorry I hurt Ven…I'm sorry I couldn't protect you…”

Aqua tensed, her breathing carefully under control as if steadying herself.

“You’re my best friend…more than and I’d do anything for you. I would’ve traded places with you in a heartbeat.”

“Don’t humiliate yourself..." she said, her voice a cold yet soothing balm he needed for weeks. He shook his head and held his position. Aqua stood. “Terra…please stand.”

On impulse, he clung to her waist. “I’m sorry I let you fall,” he managed, his voice breaking up. She stroked his hair gingerly, and his defenses crumbled. The tears he should’ve shed long ago flowed as she held him close.

He wanted to never let go.

There was no kiss or “I love you” spoken. There was only forgiveness and acknowledgment. It was more than enough for him.

In a few days, things returned to normal. They talked like they used to, laughed like they used to, and slowly re-established trust. Aqua was back to her old self, which made Ventus happier. It was as if nothing happened. But Terra knew better.

Her smile wasn’t genuine, and her eyes were dark and unfocused at times, especially when The Fall—as they’d dubbed the unfortunate event—came up for discussion. She had reverted to hiding her feelings.

He fixed one thing and broke another...

***

Weeks later...

What if she decided to pick up where they left off all those years ago?

Terra read in his room late at night to distract his mind from the persistent question. He stared at the book. It was no use. He really wasn't up for it. No matter how hard he tried, his mind insisted on figuring out his 'relationship' with her.

She won't. Maybe in ten years or so. Maybe when Ven gets married and we have the castle to ourselves. Maybe never...

He sighed and lay on his back, book in one hand, absently staring at the ceiling. She flirted with him the other day. He was sure of it. Then there was that look when she—

“Terra, are you busy?” Aqua knocked on his door.

He jumped out of bed, startled by the knock. The knob moved slightly, and he frantically searched for his pants. Bad idea to be in the buff with the door unlocked. He found them at the foot of his bed and pulled them on immediately. Then he headed for the door but stopped midway, eyeing the book on his bed. What would she think if she saw it? Scratch that—What would she think he was doing if she caught him with it in this state of undress? He grabbed the book and glanced at his surroundings. The embarrassing thing had to be hidden.

Think, where wouldn’t she look?

“Terra, can I come in?” She knocked again. “I'll come back later if now isn't a good time.”

Shit.

He tossed the book back on the bed and pulled a sheet over it. A pillow followed for good measure. It would have to do. “No, come in.”

Aqua cracked the door and peeked in. “Are you decent?”

“Yeah…” He placed a hand behind his head. “I was just getting ready for bed.”

She gave him a suspicious look before letting herself in. He shut the door and turned to her, only to find her sitting on his bed. His eyes fell on the oversized white tank top she was wearing. Was that his shirt?

“So I was thinking that maybe…” She trailed off, her eyes roaming over his naked chest suddenly. Whatever she meant to say was forgotten by the looks of it.

Terra smiled internally. He thought the light flirting the other day was his imagination. “What’s wrong? Cat got your tongue?” he asked, crossing his arms.

“No,” Aqua said, flashing him a coy smile. “It’s just…I knew exactly what I wanted to say, and then it just poof—gone.” She flopped on her back, her hands covering her face.

Her shirt rode up, exposing her smooth waist. That bit of skin between the shirt and skin-tight shorts lured him in, tempting him to reach out, caress, and kiss it…

Spirits, don’t play with me.

“Tired…?”

Aqua lowered her hands and stared at the ceiling with a glazed expression. “Not really…I just forgot.”

Was she lost among the moon and the stars, or was it something darker?

“I bet it was a lie for sure…” he teased, climbing next to her in bed. Awkward silence reigned over them as expected. He stared at the ceiling for a few minutes. “So, what brings you to this side of the castle? Did I forget to clean up after myself or did you need something...?"

She bit her lip; he noticed frustration had set in. Aqua shifted to face him. “Why do you assume I need something? Maybe I just want to hang out for a bit.” She flicked him on the forehead like when they were kids, and he said something idiotic.

“Oi,” he protested, rubbing his forehead. Terra turned to face her and grabbed her hand. “I should crack a knuckle or two. See how you like it.”

“You wouldn’t. You know I hate that sound.” She met his gaze briefly, a flicker of annoyance present. “Now, back to my lie, ” she said, making air quotes with her free hand. “Which, by the way…wouldn’t my nose get longer if I lied? I remember Master Eraqus saying he could tell if we lied by how long our noses were…”

Of course, she didn’t believe that. It was all part of their mental chess conversation. What did she really want?

“Master Eraqus said a lot of things that didn’t make sense, Aqua. And that only applies to puppets,” he said, while feeling her hand; small and feminine…perfect.

“Mmm, maybe I am, and someone’s pulling my strings and trying to deceive you.”

Terra released her hand. That was something he experienced firsthand. Controlled like a puppet, a will imposed on him…a fate he wouldn’t wish on anyone. The subject kept rearing its head in conversations the last couple of days. If that was the reason for her visit, she would leave disappointed. His issues were under control and not up for discussion.

He sighed. “So what were you thinking…?” he asked, redirecting the conversation.

Aqua looked at him in disbelief. “Are you kicking me out?"

No…but he was close to it. His mood soured quickly.

Terra shrugged. “You’re the master of the castle. Nothing’s off-limits to you…” he said. “You could stay here if you wanted, and I can’t stop you.”

"Except, I couldn't stay. There wouldn’t be a place for me to sleep,” she said, running a hand over the covers between them.

The action evoked thoughts of them between the sheets, talking less and acting more. If only she was direct about what she needed instead of playing the long game. He took a deep breath, deciding to humor her for now.

“Yeah, that's a bit of a problem. Unless...” He mimicked her pose and stared at her intently. “No, it wouldn’t be right. You’ll be unmarriageable. I think you already are since I can see your ankles. Shame on you!"

A slight blush decorated her face as she blinked slowly, then burst out laughing. His heart warmed at the sight, a smile tugging at his lips. He was socially rusty but still had that gift for making her laugh and dispelling tension.

“It should be fine if you sleep over the covers like a gentleman."

Shit. His eyes widened. Was she seriously considering spending the night with him, or was it part of the joke? He hoped she was joking, but the rest of him wanted her to stay.

"Aqua…why did—”

“What do you think I came for?” she asked before he could finish the sentence as if she read his mind.

“You can’t answer a question with another question.”

“I’m curious. Answer me,” she insisted, leaning on her arm.

Terra sighed and met her gaze, trying to read her. However, all he sensed was a mess of tangled thoughts and feelings, like a scribble. He couldn’t even feel her light.

She shifted closer to him. “Well…?”

“Shh, I’m thinking…”

Quiet or not, it didn’t matter. Not with her breath on him, or the scent of her body wash playing with his senses. His eyes wandered to her shirt—his shirt. It was big on her, and yet it covered her poorly. Dusky pink circles peeked through the fabric, two tantalizing small pearls resting on each.

“Terra?”

“Yes…” he answered in a trance. He completely forgot he was supposed to say something.

Stupid brain.

Aqua chuckled softly and touched his cheek, provoking goosebumps. Her hand left his cheek for his back, fingers running down his spine. His mind filled with vivid, wild possibilities, and she was naked and screaming his name in all of them. Her lips hovered over his, tempting him. Was she waiting for him to close the gap?

She withdrew her hand suddenly; she had a book. The book he’d hidden.

“What’s this?” she asked with a curious look. “Doing some light reading before bed?” She flipped through the book.

He snatched it off her hands and hurried to his desk, where he abandoned the book. She stood behind him, her hands slipping around his waist.

“I was interested in that…” she said, resting her forehead on his back.

Terra hesitantly welcomed her touch, warm and gentle...soothing almost. Her hands slid down his abdomen, tracing his muscles teasingly. She continued to the edge of his pants, her attention now on the knot holding it in place. Fuck. He held his breath, his heart pounding in anticipation as she worked it loose.

One thing was certain…she wasn’t as shy as before.

He shut his eyes as she reached lower. Heat pooled low in his abdomen, encouraging forgotten fantasies. Terra...Terra was ready to surrender, but she stopped. His eyes fluttered open—the book was missing. He took a deep breath, adjusting his obvious erection before facing her. There she was again, lying on her stomach and gazing at the stupid book.

“Hand it over,” he said, stretching his hand.

Her eyes strayed between his legs briefly before settling on the book again. Was that his imagination just now? No, no it wasn't. Fine—if she looked, he looked. It was only fair. He crossed his arms and stared unashamedly at her shirt's low-hanging neckline. The top of her breasts graced his eyes. Bless that shirt. As a matter of fact, he will let her keep it. He stood at the foot of the bed, still looking at her as she ignored him. Much to his horror, she read aloud.

"He dropped his clothes and bared himself. She'd never seen anything like it. Her soon-to-be lover was well-endowed and thick like a—

“Haha, very funny. Bad taste in literature by the way,” he said, reaching for the book, but she avoided him. “You know this came from your pile of lewd books, right? Are they all as terrible?"

Aqua glanced at the book cover, eyes scanning its title before staring at him. There was no emotion on her face, or at least not one he could figure out. She pinched the bridge of her nose and shook her head before flashing him a practiced smile.

What the hell was that just now…?

"His thick fingers worked her into a mess of desire, a sweet moan escaping her lips," Aqua read, making a sound.

He blinked in disbelief. "Did you just moan the word ‘moan’ ?"

“What? Did you like that?” she asked, her gaze dark and unreadable. Equally attractive and terrifying. Her lips parted slightly. His eyes widened as he realized she was about to do it again.

Terra pounced, taking her down and covering her mouth. "Don’t," he warned her, retracting his hand. Her eyes searched his face, her expression troubled, confused even. It was as if she wanted to cry but smiled instead. They couldn't skirt around the subject anymore. “Whatever this whole act is, please put an end to it. I’m not in the mood for games.”

"We're adults, Terra. There's no shame in admitting—

He shook his head. “I’m serious. You can tell me anything, and I won’t judge you,” he said, caressing her face. “So please don't hide.”

She averted her gaze and shifted, sliding from under him and off the bed. “I’ll be back in a minute, alright?” she said before disappearing out the door.

Terra sighed and rolled on his back, covering his face. Shit. I shouldn’t have. She wasn’t coming back. He pressed for an answer she didn’t want to give and probably embarrassed her by calling her out. Several minutes later, he heard her light steps approaching. She proved him wrong and returned with another book in her hands.

“I’m not interested, Aqua.”

“It’s not what you think. Just…would you please listen?" she requested, her usual shyness returning.

He straightened and sat at the edge of the bed facing her. “You have my undivided attention.”

Aqua took a deep breath and opened the book, her eyes fluttering to one of the middle pages. She began her story, to which he listened intently. It was an oddly familiar tale, but he couldn’t pinpoint it.

“The princess questioned if she’d done right. Was saving her dearest knight worth the price she paid?" Her voice wavered. "She needed to know, so she spent an eternity searching for that answer, even losing half of herself for it..." She swallowed and turned a page. "Then, she discovered it didn’t benefit the kingdom. Her actions did more harm than well, and all because she couldn’t keep her feelings under control..." She paused, clearly distressed with a hint of bitterness in her voice.

It finally clicked. She was pouring her heart out. That edge in her words was meant for him.

"She made peace with it until they reunited after many years. The princess played knight for so long that her former self became a shell. Her heart was empty, and she couldn’t find forgiveness nor kindness to spare. She couldn’t forgive him.”

Terra stood, and Aqua gestured not to approach. Despite the warning, he still closed the distance between them, carefully taking the book out of her hands.

“Some days…she wishes she never met him. She wants to scream and claw at him until she tears him apart so he knows what it feels like.”

He pulled her into a tight hug. "I know what that feels like…”

Aqua shook her head, upset and trembling. He felt turmoil growing within her, a maelstrom dragging her down. The only time he'd seen her like this was during their childhood when Master Eraqus coldly informed her of her parent's death…

Aqua, it’s okay to cry, Terra told her, but she resisted.

The Master said we should keep our emotions under control, she answered.

That evening, she sat on the stargazing hill quietly, staring into the distance. He didn't see her shed a single tear. Later that night, after the lights were out, there was a knock on his door. She came to his room—a devastated child that realized she had lost her parents forever. Terra didn't know how to console her or stop the never-ending tears, but he was there for her…

He knew what to do.

Gently, he let go. Her blue eyes stared curiously at his. There were gold glints in them. There was despair. There was misery. She’d been forced to accept a cold and cruel kiss from darkness, a violation of her being. One that would never go away and she might never come to terms with.

Terra sat on the bed and pulled a pillow into his lap. “Come here,” he said, motioning her to lie down. Aqua did as told, her body trembling and emotionally stunned. “Let it out. Let go of it.”

She shook her head and gripped the pillow, resisting.

“Trust me..." he said, brushing her blue hair softly. His fingers ran through some whites he hadn't noticed.

Remnants?

Aqua crumbled immediately, a whimper escaping her. Tears rolled down her cheeks, finally uncontained. She pressed her face against the pillow, a long-repressed scream leaving her.

She cried. She felt. She hurt.

And he couldn’t do anything except keep her company and wait. He passed through the same thing when he moved into the west wing. Let it all out, trashing an entire room until he felt sane again. The process had made him think the opposite.

Eventually, it wore her out, and she fell asleep. He didn’t want to move and disturb her, but his arms were numb from remaining in the same pose for too long. Not to mention his back ached. He moved her to the bed carefully. Her eyes fluttered open immediately, puffy and weary.

Terra smiled softly. “Hey…” He cupped her cheek. “How do you feel?”

“Exhausted…”

"And feelings-wise?" he asked, knowing he was pushing a bit.

She averted her gaze. “I don’t really want to talk about it. I’m sorry—

He placed a finger on her lips. “Listen,” he said, brushing a lock of hair off her face. “It’s not your fault or mine. It’s in the past.” He paused, thinking about how to approach the subject in a few words. The longer he talked, the less sense he would make. “We both paid the price, so…let’s not torture each other anymore.”

Aqua shifted to a sitting position. “You make everything sound so easy,” she said, hugging her legs to her chest.

“Well, gotta simplify things for this noggin.” He pointed at his head. “You know, breathing and walking is kind of important. Can’t spend much energy on anything else…”

She stared at him quietly. Terra faked a serious look, and she broke down laughing. Real laughter that had her shaking and clutching her sides. He felt a spark igniting deep within her heart, warm and pleasant.

“You did not just say that,” she said between laughs. Terra kept his gaze on her until she stopped, her eyes staring inquisitively. “What..?”

“Nothing. I just needed you to laugh,” he said.

Silence followed his words as they cautiously eyed each other. Impatience brewed in his chest as the last decade rushed through his head in a flash. Nothing was worth remembering except glimpses of her or those stolen moments before The Fall. There was a glint in her eyes, but she held on to her words as usual. Terra reached for her chin, gently raising it.

Did he lean in and kiss her, or did he ask first?

Her hand rested on his knee; an unspoken answer to the question he didn’t ask. She succumbed to the mysterious pull first, leaning forward. Terra met her halfway, lips against lips in a testing kiss. Her lips were as soft and sweet as he remembered. He brought a hand behind her head and the other to the small of her back, pulling her closer. Aqua hummed pleasantly, the soft noise enticing to his ears. She bit his lip, her impatience tangible. A familiar heat settled low in his abdomen, his instincts yelling to take it further. Then she pulled back, and Terra felt like an idiot.

You just made up with her. What were you thinking?

Aqua stood immediately and headed for the door. He heard a click, and they exchanged silent looks.

Stars, cover your eyes. Tonight we’ll commit that delicious sin we suffered for.

It happened fast. They were all over each other, lip-locked, and their hands awkwardly everywhere. Terra couldn’t decide what to do first. Aqua wasn't sure if she should lead or be led, judging from her playful struggle against him as they sank onto the plush mattress.

He pulled her onto his lap, she pushed him on his back. He tried getting her shirt, she tried his pants. Terra chuckled; a stalemate even in bed. She punished the offense with another bite to his bottom lip and a gentle roll of her hips—sweet friction and heat in return. His hands flew to her rear, a low growl escaping him as he rocked his hips against her. It was heavenly despite the fabric between them.

Terra flipped them to the side, facing each other, lips and tongues clashing, impatiently as they lost themselves in yet another fiery kiss. He gained access under her shirt, her hands swiftly leading him to her chest; soft, warm curves occupied his hands. He started slow, massaging gently and with hesitation. Her nipples hardened under his attention, and Terra brushed the enticing peaks with his thumbs in a mindless trance. She leaned into the touch, her breath hitching, a sound lodged in her throat. I want to hear you. He pinched one of her nipples, and a moan graced his lips, feeding his hunger for her. Terra pulled back, admiring her expression. A deep blush spread across her cheeks, and desire shined in her eyes.

Beautiful.

His eyes fell on the shirt gathered above her breasts. It had to go. He removed it, tossing it in an obscure corner of his room to be forgotten.

She moved her hips against him, urging him to continue. He leaned down and pressed his lips against hers briefly before trailing kisses down her jaw and neck, confidence directing him. No, not confidence…it was the ache between his legs. He dipped lower, his mouth enclosing one of her nipples, instinctively sucking on it. She gasped and brushed against him, a leg hooking over his hip. He grabbed her thigh and squeezed it.

“Mmm, you’re still greedy…”

“Can I?” he murmured against her breast, his hand tentatively slipping toward her inner thigh.

She nodded, and his hand crept under her shorts and underwear, fingers teasing between her legs. Her eyes fluttered shut. “Higher…” she whispered.

Terra complied, his fingers searching higher until he felt a small nub. He rubbed in slow, deliberate circles; her hips swayed, marking his success. Lovely. Enticed by the sight, he carefully inserted a finger, warmth, and wetness engulfing it. She moaned. A second finger joined immediately, and she threw her head back. He pumped his fingers, his movements slow and shallow. A bit of temptation for her. She moved her hips to his rhythm; he slowed down further, wanting to make it last and enjoying the control it gave him over her.

She said his name full of need, “Terra…”

“Mmm?”

Her mouth opened and closed, but she didn't speak. Instead, she angled her hips and moved vigorously against his hand, her flexibility coming into play as she searched for relief. He strained in his pants, the ache between his legs growing as she took herself on his fingers. Fuck. He wanted more, he needed more than his fingers pleasuring her.

“Slow down,” he said, withdrawing his fingers.

She was about to protest when he reached for her pants and stripped her of them along with her underwear. He stood before the bed, admiring her like an intrinsic work of art—her chest falling and rising with each breath, her curves shaped by time and training, the bit of hair proving blue was her natural color...

“What…?” she asked, brushing a lock behind her ear.

He shook his head. "It's just...you look...I don't know what to say without sounding like one of your books..."

Aqua smiled, her blush deepening. "I'll take that as a compliment then," she said, moving closer to him. Her eyes flickered to his pants and back to his face asking for permission. Terra placed a hand on her cheek, his thumb caressing her in confirmation.

Her hands grabbed onto his hips, her lips planting a burning kiss on his lower abdomen. Without hesitation, she lowered her hands and pulled his pants down, releasing his erection.

“No underwear?” she asked, sounding surprised.

He chuckled. “Not in my room.”

"Indecent," she teased.

"Inappropriate."

A mischievous smile bloomed on her lips. He'd sparked something within her. In a bold move, she went lower still and took him into her mouth.

He gasped, his knees buckling at the unexpected action. “Aqua…”

She stopped briefly, and both shifted into a comfortable position to make it work. He sat on the edge of the bed, and Aqua settled between his legs. She continued, her mouth wet and hot, busy with him. She pumped the rest with her hand in jerky movements. He corrected her, and she took over quickly, following the rhythm set by him. Terra gasped and looked down, his eyes focusing on the view. The sight of her on her knees with him in her mouth, pleasing him, tasting him…

He could melt right now.

His hand wandered to her hair as he fought the impulse to pull it. At his touch, her eyes flickered to his as she did something with her tongue. Fuck. He didn’t know what it was exactly, only that it was a pleasant overkill. He would make a mess if he didn't stop her.

"If you keep...going..." he warned her, gripping the sheets with his free hand. It was enough for her to understand.

“I want you,” she said, her eyes firmly on his.

Those words made him snap, switching positions swiftly, and somehow she still tops. Truth be told he preferred it that way. His nerves were on edge at the thought of messing up.

“Relax,” she said, her hands resting on his chest.

"I am..."

"You're tense."

Her hands roamed his chest, her soft touch coaxing him to relax. She traced his muscles and scars with attention and finesse; her perfectionist side showing. He felt her shudder every time she came across a scar. Then there was the one over his heart. It earned a stare and a frown from her.

“Hey…” He gently moved, getting her attention.

"Sorry.”

Aqua then drew a pattern from his chest and down to his abdomen. A spell?

"What...what are you doing?” he asked, his voice breathy.

“Shh…it'll help.”

She lined up with him, her legs straddling his hips as she slowly lowered herself. Heat surrounded him as she took him in. Her eyes fluttered shut, and her mouth opened slightly as a whimper escaped her. Was it pleasure or pain? His hands rested on her hips in reassurance. She moved testingly in calm and slow motion.

Terra growled low, his grip tightening on her hips. "Easy...slow." He wouldn't last long if she didn't.

Aqua tried, but it was hard given they teased each other close to completion. She found a rhythm that worked for them, one that reminded him of the ocean's gentle movement on a calm day, waves slowly reaching the shore. He joined her shortly, his hips rocking lazily so he wouldn't mess with her beat. The air was laden with the scent of carnal and forbidden desire. Moans and pants filled the room as their bodies worked in harmony, with the same goal in mind.

He studied her beautiful form, mesmerized by her. The way she moved, the way she wore that expression of bliss, the way her breasts bounced enticingly...and the union of their bodies…

Stars.

A rough thrust pried a loud moan from her. She chased after her pleasure, her hips moving furiously as she squeezed around him. Fuck, fuck...He felt her body tensing in his arms. She tossed her head back, closed her eyes, and screamed his name as she came.

"Terra!"

It was music to his ears. He lost the last bit of control and switched positions. While pleasure swept over her, he grabbed her hips and took her fast and hard like he'd always wanted. It didn't take much, he'd been at his limit the whole time. Terra shuddered, spilling and making her his. His legs failed him, and he collapsed on the mattress, exhausted. Aqua lay by his side, still mentally far away and enjoying her own high. He pulled her close to his chest, a hand in her hair in a gentle absent-minded caress.

Intimate. Satisfying. That was the best thing he’d felt in the flesh in over a decade.

Her eyes shifted tiredly as she watched him.

He kissed the top of her head. "Lost you there for a minute, huh?"

"I didn't know I could feel this way," she said, snuggling up to him.

"Not everything has to be dread and darkness. It could be...this."

"This...?"

"It can be whatever you want it to be," he said, brushing her hair back.

"I'd love that..."

"But…if we’re going to do this, ” he said. “I need to hear what’s on your mind. I’ll back off when you want me to, but still…talk to me. I'll always listen.”

“Thank you..." she said, her fingers lazily gliding across his chest.

"By the way, did you put a spell on me?”

Her fingers stopped moving, a blush crept across her face again. "That...that's embarrassing."

"Now I need to know.”

Aqua nodded and buried her face in the crook of his neck. “It’s...protection.”

He raised an eyebrow. “As in preventing small versions of us from running around?”

“Y-Yes!”

“But if it’s for that then at the library and during that test…”

She shifted, trying to remain hidden. “I thought we would have sex…” she said, his skin muffling her words.

“Oh..." he said thoughtfully. "Then your mind was a step ahead of the game back then. How inappropriate..."

“Terra!”

He chuckled. Seeing her blush and embarrassed like before gave him some peace. It brought joy to his heart and life to his soul. “Just promise me one thing,” he said. “You won’t put your students through any of the old ways.”

“I promise…” she said tiredly.

Terra nodded, noting her promise. “Now, you want me to run some hot water or…” His answer came shortly, the sound of her fast asleep. He smiled softly and reached for the covers with his free hand. They could deal with a bit of mess tomorrow. "Sweet dreams," he whispered and kissed her temple before settling with her in his arms comfortably.

They had a long road ahead of them. He didn't doubt they would fight and disagree, that there would be ups and downs. He would have to throw away his old mental booklet on her behavior and start another one. It would take a lot of research and observation, trial and error, but he would love every minute of it. Finding new ways to make her smile, to make her happy.

He would once more know her like the back of his hand.

#kingdom hearts #kh #aqua #terra #terraqua #ao3 stuff #ao3 #writing #fanfic #kh3 #post kh3

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zukkaart · 8 months

Note

I would love to see MaiLee “I…I am barely holding on”

Happy to oblige (the first thing that popped in to my head was "You're losing me" by my girl T-Swift sooooo if you wanted this to be happy you should have said that....anyway

Couple #6: Mailee Prompt #17

For the prompt game!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The travelling circus, Ty Lee is headlining as they pass through Caldera city

"Ty Lee! You're on in ten!" One of the stage hands shouted from outside her dressing room as she secured her headress. "Thank you! I'll be out there in two!" Ty Lee called back in her typical bubbly tone. He gave her door one quick rap in acknowledgement as he left.

"It's okay, you can do this," The young girl said to herself as she stared in to the mirror. Someone she barely recognized looked back at her. She was 19 now, but the cold of the war refused to leave her bones. She understood that there was no way to make up for the harm she had caused. She had tried for years with the Kiyoshi warriors.

She tried to help fight, but the war was over. She tried to help in reconstruction, but she was no architect. She tried to help Katara heal, but she was no doctor. After trying and failing so many times she decided to take a break, and it's been a little over a year since she returned to the circus. She was content here, she couldn't erase what she had done, but at least she could bring joy to any one who came to see her. Most days... that was enough.

Suddenly, another knock came at her door. "I said I'd be right out," She said simply, standing to head towards the door.

Before she could though, it swung open. "Mai!" She cheered happily, throwing her arms around the taller girl, who awkwardly patted her back in acknowledgement, "I'm so glad you're here! Did you come to see the show?"

"Ty Lee, you know I don't like this stuff. I hate animals and greasy food and crowds of people," Ty Lee's smile faltered, but only for a moment before asking, "Then why are you here?" "I came to see you genius," Mai deadpanned back, and a genuine smile creeped up the acrobats features,

"Oh, you'll love it! I go on first so you can leave right after! You won't have to see anything you don't want to!" "Right..." Mai trailed off, sweeping her hand slightly across the surface of her vanity "Something wrong? Do you need help?" The dark-haired one scoffed at that.

"Help? Did you seriously just ask me if I need help?" Ty Lee was so shocked by her words that she didn't respond, so Mai continued, "I needed your help, Azula needed your help," It was Ty Lee's turn to scoff. "There was nothing I could have done for Azula, there was nothing I could do for anyone! I tried, and tried, and failed. So you don't get to come in here and act like I've committed some crime," She was fuming now.

"We were all trying Ty Lee, you're the only one who left," Mai stated, as deadpan and matter-of-fact as always. It was absolutely infuriating. "No." She didn't have to take this, "I did everything I could in those first years, but no one needed me! You certainly didn't. I felt useless, abandoned by everyone. This is the only place where I felt wanted, I'm doing my best. So if you need help. Ask. If not then get out!" The candle on her vanity flickered to signal her cue. Without another word she shoved past Mai and out on to the high beam.

~~~

She landed with perfect grace, the crowd went wild. She tossed them an award winning smile before cartwheeling off stage.

Ty Lee let out a heavy sigh. She felt a little guilty about telling Mai to leave, after all she hadn't seen her in years. That didn't mean she was wrong though. The only person Mai ever acted like she cared about was Zuko. That was arguably another reason why Ty Lee left the Fire Nation in the first place. It was one thing struggling to feel needed- everyone felt displaced in those days- but watching the woman she loved be printed on every newspaper next to someone else? That was a different kind of hell.

Of course, it wasn't the publishers fault, it wasn't anyone's really. They were a smart match, and their people needed something simple to be happy about. Ty Lee was happy for them- she was- but that didn't make it hurt any less.

She collapsed on to her bed a few moments later, costume and makeup still on, her headdress discarded on the floor. She began to cry. Her place of sanctuary had once again been ripped from her and replaced with cold reality in the form of Mai. She didn't understand why Mai had come, she only wished that she had come back.

"Oh Agni, should I come back later?" That familiar bored tone came from her now open doorway, "What's this all about?"

"Mai" She shot straight up with a light sob. Mai let out a sigh and rolled her eyes, but still sat next to her. "I...I am barely holding on," Tears began to roll in a steady stream down her face despite her internal protests. Her throat and chest felt tight, her head was spinning. Unsurprisingly- Mai said nothing, but she continued. "Every one of our friends has a place they belong, or at the very least someone to lean on at the end of the day. I don't have any of that. I'm meeting back up with the warriors at the end of next month, but it's just going to remind me how useless I am," Her sobs slowly turned in to light sniffles, "Well, aren't you going to say anything?" She straightened and met her friends eyes.

"What's there to say?" Mai let herself fall back, and tucked her hands beneath her head. "You said you felt useless, who am I to tell you you're wrong? I only came here to tell you Zuko and I broke up, not to get an invite to your little pity party" She heaved a sigh

Ty Lee knew she should have been mad, but the middle of the other woman's statement caught her too off guard. "You and Zuko? What happened?" Mai only shrugged, "Are you okay?"

"I'm always okay," Mai stared blankly at the ceiling. Ty Lee knew that look, either Mai was pondering something, or there was something deeply wrong. She hoped it was just the former.

Ty Lee opened her mouth to ask, but Mai spoke again before she could. "Come back to the Palace with me," "What?" Ty Lee leaned over her, braid falling over her shoulder on to the bed beside Mai's head. "Why?"

Mai heaved yet another long sigh, "Because I miss you Ty, and I could use someone around the palace to help me. The Kyoshi warriors made me their contact since you've been gone but apparently I'm 'abrasive' " Mai added air quotes to her last word which caused Ty Lee to giggle.

"Okay," She smiled "Let me pack my things," She stood from the bed in one graceful motion "What? Just like that?" Mai sat up "Yeah!" She paused, "Unless you weren't being serious..." "I was being serious, but don't you have to stay? Finish the show?"

Ty Lee giggled, placing the tips of her fingers on her lips. "Mai, I'd do anything for you,"

Mai shot her an utterly confused look. "Why?" Ty Lee was the one who rolled her eyes that time

"When have I not?" Now that was a question Mai hadn't been expecting to ponder today, but she did. When hadn't Ty Lee been there for her? She had always backed her in fights, gone with her instead of Azula when they split up, even committed treason for her at the Boiling Rock. Now that she was thinking about it, Mai couldn't remember one time when Ty Lee had forsaken her for someone else. How could she have been so blind?

Coming back to reality, she found Ty lee's bright eyes fixed on hers. "All this time?" She asked quietly,

"Oh Mai..." She strode over and dropped to her knees so they were almost eye to eye. "You're the exact opposite of me in every way. Where I'm kind you're cruel, where I flirt you're stern. The spirits made us to oppose each other in every way. If we hadn't had Azula, I'm sure we would have been nothing short of enemies."

A breath of silence, Ty Lee tilted her chin up so they were staring in to each others eyes,

"Who else was I supposed to fall in love with?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hehehe I tricked you and gave you a happy ending. I hope you enjoyed! Much love xoxo

#avatar the last airbender #atla #mailee #mai #ty lee #ty lee x mai #prompts #send me asks #fluff #angst with a happy ending #ship prompts #mai avatar #ty lee atla #azula #post canon

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rabbiteclair · 1 year

Note

Hello again, I'm going insane over Keine x Mokou (the care and tenderness in Keine wanting to keep her from any harm despite the whole immortality!!), and wanted to hear your thoughts on the pairing in general, and also on what Keine's abilities to "eat history" and "know history" entail. Assuming the wiki isn't making stuff up. The former has at least an example in how she hid the village (also I'm dying over the idea of her using it to eat up Mokou's nightmares), but the latter is... really vague.

this is one of the like three pairings I've been thinking about writing a lot over the past few weeks, so you're on a roll

It's pretty high up on my personal rankings, although one I haven't written a lot since I tend to interpret it as a pretty comfy, established, stable kinda relationship. Doesn't lend itself to being the center of a big story as easily as some others. I've thought that it could be interesting to explore how they met in the first place, but the one time I tried, it somehow ended up turning into the scene in Eyes in the Dark with Mokou butchering a rabbit. (Originally Keine was the one standing there going 'so anyway, I was wondering if--oh. Oh ew.')

I think that one thing that tends to hurt the pairing when it comes to fanworks is how little we've gotten of Keine, and how much of her canon stuff is just kinda 'get this: she's a teacher, and she does history.' (And then she isn't even The History Person, that's Akyuu's gig.) Her PMiSS and BAiJR articles were both like that. Apart from that, she had a couple of brief appearances in Bougetsushou, and that's about it. Glancing over her wiki page, unless you count an ad in AFiEU, I think her last appearance that wasn't a non-speaking cameo was... early 2008, in Inaba of the Moon. So hey, pretty soon we'll be at fifteen years since Keine did anything.

I can still remember FS starting and me being like 'oh boy, a human village-centric series, finally Keine and Akyuu will get a chance to shine.' sigh. I was half-right.

(On the upside for Keine: I feel like Plain Asia has a ridiculous amount of really good arranges.)

Which kinda naturally leads to the question of her powers, I guess.

TouhouWiki's explanation seems fairly accurate to me, although it wouldn't hurt to get into the definition of 'history' here a bit more. Her PMiSS article is still a bit uncertain, but it seems like it's referring to history in the sense of a social phenomenon. Which is to say, she can't just remove something from the past, but she can alter, create, or erase people's conceptions about it, and probably tweak how it fits into the larger narrative of Gensokyo.

Which, I think, leads to two real interpretations:

She's affecting people's knowledge and stuff, and only in the sense of the broad, public narrative. So while she could erase the village's history in IN, that just meant that everyone outside still knew there was a village, but they were left just kinda meandering around going 'damn, there was a village somewhere around here, wasn't there?'

Her powers are more focused on people's perceptions, so she can do things like erase the village's history, thus just rendering it outright invisible to most people, because they're perceiving things as if there never was a village in the first place.

Her dialogue in IN really sounds like #2 is true... but then what the hell does it mean for her to need to catch up on recording history every full moon? Nobody needs to do bookkeeping on reality so that... the way that things look lines up with what happened. That's just like... that's how causality works. (At least, hopefully. I think this is what OWoD Mage was about.) And that doesn't really make me think 'history.' It's just illusion powers with a fancier explanation. So I tend to lean toward #1.

That interpretation still has lots of room for debate and stuff, but as usual that's part of the fun.

#touhou tag #keine kamishirasawa

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accio-victuuri · 2 years

Text

520 and 521 : A Boxiao History 🤍

CPN and all that good stuff related to this celebration for the past few years. If you are not familiar with it, 520 means I love you and it’s considered their Valentines day. 521 on the other hand means “I am willing”. Individuals celebrating 520 and 521 have been known to take the opportunity to express their feelings for their partners or crushes through social media. It’s also prime time for brands to market and release their own 520 promos and limited edition merchandise. This post will cover 2016-2021. Please note that this post is very CPN biased and it’s okay if you don’t believe any of it. Lol.

• 2016

During this time, GG was still filming Superstar Academy in Hangzhou and almost daily you can see fansites posting photos onset. However on 5/18 there were less photos and it seems like GG got off work earlier than usual ( as per resource blogs who posted that day ). DD on the other hand was in Sanya filming the TTXS episode where he was a pilot.

5/19, DD jumps on a flight back to Changsha wearing a pink cap ( and we know what color he associates with love ). GG then surfaces back in Hangzhou to resume filming @ 10:20.

CPN: GG went to Sanya. This is like probably not real at all cause this is 2016! Lol. Unless you believe in Devil Timeline.

Now we arrive at 520. GG posts a series of selfies from filming SA but as you can see there are two that are out of place. He is in a car and then he blurred something at the back. Lol. Of course our CPN brains will think there is someone there, that’s why he blurred it. Who? We don’t know.

DD on 520 was working and had an event with UNIQ ( Changsha ) ; a coincidence, he does a gesture that portrays a rabbit. Interesting.

The next day he left Changsha to go to Seoul, all photos from fansites had him with a pink cap and a completely different outfit from the Weibo selfie he shared. Why are these two sharing photos that are not from the same day? Stock photos? 👀

caption : haven't posted on Weibo for a long time, so please come and find the difference after posting two photos.

• 2017

5/19 GG went to Duyun ( Guizhou ) for filming of Fights Break Sphere and he was wearing a pink top. Do you see a pattern here? Lol. They like Pink. Around this time DD was filming Private Shunshan Academy and there were a lot of on set videos posted.

Now on 520, GG posted a weekly vlog showing his big hotel room with a very nice bathtub. Just watch it. my god he was so wholesome. He even said here that 520 is important and I agree! 🤍🌸

youtube

How about DD. He shared a short clip of an Action scene from PSA Drama. That’s all.

• 2018

5/18, they both left CQL filming to go to Beijing for their own work engagements. One flew from Hangzhou ( DD ) and the other from Yiwu ( GG ). DD was wearing the off-white top we are all familiar with ( black for him and white for GG ).

5/19 GG was filming a video for his cooperation with KFC and he said this line :

"Suddenly I regret that you are not by my side, because your figure has been deeply engraved in my mind and cannot be erased."

I mean it’s most likely fanservice thing but considering that he’s been working with DD for the past weeks already and they had to part? Hmmmm. Maybe this means something more to him that time cause he can relate. 👀

Web was @ KFC Live event the same day and then in the evening he flew back to CQL shooting.

5/20, This is the reason why I made this whole post cause I remembered the whole posting about KFC on 520. HAHAHAHAHAHA! It’s so iconic. KFC Couple. 🤍

GG had an event with XNINE for their album in Beijing and he went back to CQL shooting early 5/21.

Look at their respective 520 and 521 posts. It’s the same format of 4 photos. Did GG copy DD this time? Also if you look at the time GG posted, it’s so early. I guess he wanted to post at 520 but then decided to just make it a 521 post as an answer. 🌹

• 2019

This is a popular one, because GG’s 520 post he was wearing a similar top as DD’s. Tho you can argue that this was a popular print at the time and pretty common— but no. It’s the same one from off-white. Same exact style. What we don’t know tho if what GG was wearing was his or not. DD posted with the kadian 23:28 ( love zhan, love bo. ) CQL has not aired yet and most BXGs have not been all FBI on them so there were probably other things going on that we didn’t pick up on. ✌🏼

• 2020

As we all know, GG was not in the public eye during that time so it was DD who was so extra this whole time. DD posted this Douyin where he sent a Love Gun. Which is their thing. 🤍

youtube

Now the star of this year was undoubtedly DD’s 521 Ben and Jerry x Nike post. I will just direct you to other people’s post about it and it’s truly a fandom favorite. Yibo had no chill that time.

@ohnobjyx answered this and explained it in one of their asks over here.

@untamedconnotations post on it and more of what was happening and all the speculations. and why BXGs like us should try and keep things in our circle and continue to speak in codes.

@potteresque-ire dives deeper on this date and talks about how this is more than an endorsement and why certain people panicked. This one is very interesting and a must read because I don’t think anyone talked about this.

There were also talk of them being together this day, GG allegedly driving over to where DD was. DD was supposed to have an optional rehearsal but he didn’t go. He also booked two hotels and didn’t who up in either one. So where was he? Probably on Ninja mode with GG. Around this time they already had the resources to hide when they want to. Personally, what stayed with me from that chaotic day was the glimpse of “Have some faith” printed on the clothes. It was such a nice message considering what was going on that time. I felt like it was intentional, it was a message to stay strong. Yes, I have faith and 2 years later I still do. I still have faith that these two will make it through. 🤍

• 2021

@tracer85s explanation of YBO’s 520 post.

and then 5/21 GG posted on Douyin saying have a good weekend. 🎆

This is discussed in detail via the video below.

youtube

There were also talks of them hiding posts on 5/19 and then on 5/20 Bazaar posted douyins of them minutes apart. Lol.

AND THAT IS ALL FOR OUR 520/521 CPN Timeline I hope you all enjoyed. Let’s see what happens this 2022. I just hope they are together and get some quality time. Bless Beijing. 🤍

#yizhan #bjyx #timeline #all of this is cpn #there is no science here folks im just clowning like i always do #this is me clowning pls ignore #Youtube

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bagsybaggins · 10 months

Text

Chapter 2: The Search

[Previous Chapter]

"Fuck, shit, god dammit it!" I mutter as I toss another book behind me.

"What's up with you?" I hear Dustin ask and I pause to look at him.

"I can't find my lucky pencil. The one that's black with the black eraser." I explain before I open another drawer on my desk. "Mr. Pickles's test is today and I can't fail this one or else Mom will be pissed. That and I would have to take it again, and I don't want to do that."

He nods his head, walking towards me and reaching up. "It's right here Nerd." He pulls it from behind my ear and I groan. "I think you need glasses if you keep losing small things. How many fingers-"

"I can see just fine Dustin," I say before nudging his shoulder. "Thanks though. Would've torn my room up a lot more without this."

He glances around before snorting, causing me to roll my eyes. "Whatever, let's get moving before we're late."

He nods his head before he walks out of my room, and I sigh heavily before looking back at my bed. I snatch up my hat and put it on my head, pushing my pencil back behind my ear.

---

I frown as I notice Will's not with Lucas and Dustin, as he normally is.

"Will's not here? You don't think he's sick do you?" I pull up next to Mike and Lucas, Dustin right behind me.

Mike shook his head. "No, he's probably already at school. Like that one time after Mr. Gruskey did a surprise pop quiz, he would leave earlier to get ready for another one."

I sigh and nod my head. "Alright, you tell him that Dustin will give him his comic tomorrow. Cause someone forgot to bring it."

Dustin glares at me. "He only won because he cheated."

"And he won, but you both left me. So it's only fair he gets it, my words are god. Listen to me." I laugh before I pedal ahead of them. "Later ya nerds!"

"Later!" "He still cheated!"

I shake my head as I make my way to the bike stand at the High school, noticing Nancy walking towards the door.

"Nance!" I wave at her as I slowly stop at the bike stand. She waves back and leans to one side, waiting for me.

I kick the stand on my bike down, grabbing my bag from the basket before I jog to her. I smile as I join her side, and walk into the building with her.

"So, did he call?" Barb asked as she comes up from behind us.

Nancy's lips twitch as she tries to force the smile from crawling on her face.

"Ohh, Steve?" I ask as Nancy rolls her eyes.

"Keep your voice down." She smiles for a moment, before trying to relax.

"Did he?" Barb and I ask in unison, me walking backward in front of Nancy.

"I told you, it's not like that." She tries to explain and defend herself before she caves in slightly. "Okay, I mean, yes. He likes me, but not like that."

I look at Barb, who gives me a look, and I return it.

"Yeah, uh-huh. Sure, it's 'not like that' at all." I grin as I turn back around and lean against my locker, as Nancy starts opening hers.

She light-heartedly glares at me, before looking back at her locker. "We just, made out a couple times."

Me and Barb grin as we mock her. "We just, made out a couple times."

"Stop." Nancy smiles, opening her locker.

"Nance, seriously. You're gonna be so cool now, it's ridiculous." Barb says as I nod my head in agreement, opening my locker.

"She's right Nancy. You get with Harrington, you get the whole school watching like it's the most popular drama show in all of history. You might as well be dating a famous actor or something." I look at her past my locker door.

"No, I'm not. It's not like that." She says before Barb and I sigh.

"You better still hang out with me, that's all I'm saying."

"Hey, what about me? Are you saying I can't hang out with you? I think I deserved to be loved." I dramatically express, Barb and Nancy smiling at my antics.

"Of course, I'll still hang out with you Dare. Who else is going to help me with English homework."

I laugh. "Of course, the homework benefits are the only good thing about me. I see how it is."

Nancy's locker opened and she pauses, causing me to raise a brow at what caused her to silence.

"Oh ho ho, what's this." She picks it up, giving me a glare. "A note from lover boy? Your boyfriend slash, not a boyfriend?"

I grin as she opens it slowly, looking down at it. I lean over and laugh as she closes it quickly. "And we have a winner, Steve Harrington has the hots for you. And you know it."

"You were saying?" Barb grinned as she leaned against me, looking at Nancy whose cheeks resembled an apple.

---

"YN?" I look up from my test and see the principal looking in from the doorway.

I feel panic climb up my throat, glancing around the room as others start looking at me. The Principal looks at me and waves his hand in a come-forward motion. I look at the teacher for a moment, and Mr. Pickles nods his head.

I sigh and stand up from my chair, leaving my test on my desk. I lean down and grab my bag, swinging it over my shoulder before heading to the door. As I walk out of the room, I notice Hopper and Phil standing in the hall.

"Hop, Phil. What's going on?" I ask as I tighten my hand on the book bag strap.

They look at me and Hopper sighs, looking down at the ground.

"Whatever happened, I swear it wasn't me," I say quickly, and Hopper quickly shook his head.

"Will's gone missing. You and the other three were the last to see him. We were just wanting to get your side of the story." Hopper explained, finally looking me in the eyes.

My eyes widen and I inhale quickly. "What?"

I fight off the urge to panic and instead close my eyes for a moment. I breathe in deeply before opening my eyes and breathing out slowly.

"What do you need? What can I do?"

Hopper smiles tightly at me and nods his head towards the Principals office. I follow him silently, focusing on breathing, reaching my hand into my pocket. I pull out my inhaler, shaking it before using it. I can see Hopper look at me from the corner of his eyes, and I cough lightly. We turn the corner and I shove it back in my pocket, walking inside and sitting down on the chair they had.

Hop and Phil sit down in front of me, Phil takes out his notepad while Hopper leans forward in his chair.

"Just tell us where you last saw him, and anything that seems important," Hopper says gently, looking at me while nodding his head.

I mimic his nod and inhale slowly. "Yeah, okay. It was a normal night. We got out of our D&D campaign at 8 I think. Me, Dustin, Lucas, and Will were riding our bikes home. Lucas left first since his house was closer. I and Dustin followed Will until we got to our road. But Dustin and Will had raced ahead of me. I kinda got left behind, and when I did, Dustin was on our road. And I saw Will's light going further away before we left for our house."

Hopper nods his head. "Alright, and was there anything else? Anything at all?"

I frown, think back, and shrug. "Our lights kept flickering the closer we got to our road. I think Will's was too. But they didn't do it after we left Will. Other than that, nothing unusual."

Hopper nodded, while Phil scoffed lightly. "Thank you, Kid. Go back to class."

"Hop." He turns to me and I sigh. "Find him, he's great with directions. Rarely ever got lost, even in the woods."

He nods his head, puts his hat back on, and walked out of the room with Phil in tow.

---

I can feel my nerves buzzing beneath my skin. My leg bounced as I sat down at the table where we normally ate lunch. My fingers drummed against the table as I stare down at the book that lay open in front of me, but I wasn't reading it. I grabbed my pencil instead, flipping it between my fingers. I glanced around the lunchroom as more people poured in, waiting for Nancy to finally walk in.

"Hey-"

"Shit Biscuits!" I yell as a hand touches my shoulder.

"Whoa, whoa it's just me," Eddie said as he raised his hands in surrender, his brows furrowing as he looked at me in worry. "Are you alright?"

I sigh, turning back to the table as I put my face in my hands. "No, I'm not."

The air gets warmer as I feel him sit down next to me, his bag hitting the ground with a thump. "What's wrong? Did something happen? Did you lose the campaign or something?" He asks with a teasing smile.

I roll my eyes with a small smile twitching onto my lips. "Yeah, we did, actually. But that's not it." I sigh, turning to him. "One of my friends, my little brother's friend, he's gone missing."

Eddie's eyes widen. "Oh, shit. I had heard talks about you talking to the chief and shit, but I didn't think it would be about that."

Turning to him with a frown on my face, "What did you think I'd be talking to them about?"

He shrugs, looking ahead in thought. "I don't know actually. Maybe about a crime you had done." He laughs and turns to me. "Maybe you're a secret criminal and they had finally caught you."

I scoff a laugh and shake my head. "No, my criminal days are over. Hop caught me too many times."

His right brow raises as he laughs. "Sure, sure. Say that to the fork you took from me yesterday."

I cackel while throwing my head back, my arms crossing around my stomach. I can hear Eddie laugh with me, and I lean forward, wiping my cheeks with my hands.

"Ugh, that was a good one. I'll give you that." I smile as I turn to him again.

"Well thank you, m'lady." He gives me a mock bow, before crossing his arms on the table. "But I'm sure the kid will be fine."

I feel my stomach knot up again, I sigh and nod. "Yeah, he's a good kid." I look away from him, down at the book in front of me. "He's like a little brother to me, ya know? I mean, they all are. I have my little brother, but we all just hang out almost all the time. We're practically family."

"I get that, sorta. I don't have anything like that, but I understand that." He murmurs as I look back at him.

"Yeah." I nod, sighing as I stretch. "Did you need something? Or did you just come over cause I was jittery?"

He smiles and shrugs. "A little bit of both, but it looked like you needed some company. And I wanted to give you, this." He reached into his denim jacket, pulling out a cassette.

I chuckle as I realize that it was Def Leppard, the cassette he had been listening to the first time we met. "Letting me borrow it now?"

He nods, before standing up. "Yeah, figured I should give it to you now before I end up forgetting about it. You can keep it until you're ready to give it back."

I grin as I look up at him, tapping my finger against it lightly. "And if I don't feel like returning it?"

He tsks as he grabs his bag from the floor. "Then I guess I lose a cassette." He nods his head with a smile on his face. "I'll talk to you later, so tell me what you think."

He walks backward slowly, "I will. Have a good night Eddie." I say and he nods before turning around.

"You too YN." And then he walks out of the cafeteria.

Sighing, I look down at the cassette before smiling and putting it in the back of my bag, in the only pocket I don't use.

---

"No, Dustin! You aren't going out, that's final!" I hear Mom yell from the living room.

I sigh heavily, I turn up the stereo while listening to the cassette. And so far, Photograph was my favorite song. The sound of a door slamming, the vibration shaking my door. Turning around, I lie down on my bed, my arms underneath my head. My mind wanders to Will, and how he had gone missing. My thoughts shifted to the game, how we had lost.

The songs played on until it stopped, and the album ends. I sat up, reaching toward the stereo before frowning at the strange static sound. I pause, listen to the strange buzzing sound, and stand up. I exhale softly, walking across my room before realizing it got quieter. I walk back to my bed, leaning towards the stereo, but pull back. It wasn't coming from that.

I hear the sound a little louder as I kneel down, and my eyes widen as I remember. Dustin's supercomm!

Scrambling, I reach under my bed and pull it out. I twist the volume up and extend the antenna. I grin as I hear Lucas and Mike talking more clearly.

"Meet me in 10. Over and out." I hear Lucas say before the radio goes silent.

I frown in confusion, having missed the whole conversation, but then it clicks. My eyes widen and I curse and trip up as I run to my door. I fling it open and quickly open Dustin's door, muttering a curse as I realize he left.

Closing his door, I go into my room and grab my messenger bag. I dump all the papers and books from school out and throw the supercomm into the bag. Opening my closet I push past my clothes looking down at one of the many combination boxes that Dad and I had hidden across the house. Inhaling deeply, I slowly put in his birthday, opening it. I grab the flashlight, ignoring the bullets, and the gun that he had put in each box. I sigh as I see a picture sticking out of the bottom, past the box of bullets.

I reach past the box and pull the photo out, smiling at dad's face. His hazel eyes crinkled as he smiled at the camera, a baby Dustin in his arms. His dark blond hair was messy from Dustin's grabby hands, but Dad's face was happy. He always was, normally.

Shaking my head, I put his picture back down, before seeing his dog tags. I had worn them before he died, and I took them off after he had passed. I pull them out, looking at the words pressed into them.

Henderson. Richard G.

1224 46 7890

B Pos

Christan

The same thing was written on both of the tags, and I run my fingers over the letters.

My eyes widen as I realize I was taking too long. I slam the box shut clicking the lock shut and twisting the numbers up. I push it back to the back of the closet and move my clothes to their original spot. I throw the flashlight into the bag before I look at the blanket that was handed on the back of my chair. Sighing, I throw it into the bag as well and swing the bag over my shoulder.

Opening my window, I step out onto the grass, tumbling slightly as I hit the back of my head on the window. "Shit, ow." I hiss, rubbing the back of my head. I take one more glance at my room, before checking my pocket, sighing when I feel my inhaler in it. Walking to my bike, I put the dog tags around my neck, and pick up my bike.

"Just wait for me Dustin, I'm gonna kick your ass for this," I mutter as I push off.

---

YN wheezed as she dropped her bike next to the three other bikes, her hood pulled up as the rain fell heavily. She wiped her face with her hand, blinking as she reached into her bag with her other hand. Her light clicked on as she pressed the switch, and walked into the forest.

"Mike? Dustin? Lucas? WILL?" She yelled over the rain, blinking and pulling her cap down more to help block the rain.

"WILL!" She yelled a little louder, knowing that he was the reason they were out in the first place.

The further she got into the woods the less she felt safe.

"MIKE!" Turning to the left as she sees a distant light flicker behind the trees.

Her feet push through the already muddy ground, her converse soaked from the ride to the woods. She looked at the ground as she stepped over a fallen log, walking around the trees to find the three boys. And hopefully the fourth boy.

"DUSTIN!"

"Oh shit-"

She heard him say a little further ahead of her, finally seeing them in view.

"Yeah oh shit! You didn't tell me you were doing this! You're supposed to tell me this shit!" She yelled as she approached the boys.

"How did you find us?" Mike asked, confusion evident on his face.

"I took his old supercomm and now it's mine. And no you're not getting it back." She glared at Dustin, who looked at her in shock.

"You took my supercomm!"

"Yes, but you're supposed to tell me before you do stupid shit like this! I know he's missing but we can't lose anyone else right now, so you bring me with you!"

Lucas shook his head. "You would've told our parents! They-"

Dare looked at him offended. "I'm one of you ya nerds! We literally play D&D together! I'm not Nancy, and you all should know that by now! Why would I tell anyone anything?"

They stay silent before Dustin nods. "She's right."

"Not to mention that I can kick ass-"

"You have asthma, you can't kick ass," Mike says.

"I can kick ass, I just can't run." Dare points her finger at him with a glare. "And I don't think you want me to kick your ass."

Before they could say anything, the sound of a branch snapping near them causes them to freeze.

"What was that?" Mike asked, his eyes wide.

"I don't know," Dare muttered, taking a step in front of them, and raising her flashlight.

And then she paused as a girl was at the other end of the light.

---

"All of you shut it!" I hiss at them, glaring at them as I rub the towel through my wet hair. "I don't care if you're freaking out Lucas, she's the same damn age as you all. And if you have a problem, you can leave."

Lucas turns to me, in disbelief. "You're taking his side?"

My eyes narrow, and I step forward. "Look, tell me something. If you were scared, alone, cold, and somewhere you didn't know, would you be talkative? Would you be smiling and sunshine and daisies?" He sputters to reply, but I interrupt him. "No, you wouldn't be. Now, please shut up, all of you."

I glance over at the girl, whose head was shaved and clothes were soaked. And I had to agree, it looked like blood was on her shirt.

"Mike, go get her clothes," I say softly, sighing as I kneel in front of her. Her eyes flickered between me and the boys.

"Hi," I give her a small smile. "My name's YN, but you can call me Dare, can you tell me your name?" I ask her gently.

Mike comes back, thunder rumbling outside, and she flinches. He hands her the clothes, and I frown as she rubs them against her cheek. I stand up and shake my head as I feel some water in my ear. My eyes widen as she stands up, her hands going to the bottom of her large shirt.

"No no no no no!" I grab her wrist, the boy's quickly panicking and turn around.

I sigh and pull her towards the bathroom. "Come on, you can change in here."

She follows me, glancing at the three before walking into the bathroom. I nod my head and try to close the door, but her hand stops it. I frown before looking back at her.

"You don't want it closed?"

"No."

My brows raise as she speaks, and I smile and nod my head. "Right. Got it. Then, let's keep it here then." I close it so that there is a small sliver left open.

"Better?" I ask.

"Yes."

I nod my head before turning around and looking at the boys. I walk over and listen to the conversation happening.

"Lucas, get the stick out of your ass. I get that you're suspicious, but you're being a dick." I say as I cross my arms.

They turn to me. "But you saw her Dare! She literally tried to get naked!" Dustin exclaimed.

"Yeah! She's probably crazy!"

I roll my eyes and sigh.

"Maybe, maybe not. But we won't know that until we get to know her. And we don't know what she's been through, she could be traumatized! She could be hurt! We can't just turn a fucking kid away just because we don't know them." I explain as I glance back at the door, before looking at them.

"We were out there looking for Will. Not another problem." Lucas states as he turns to Mike.

"Yeah, we should tell your Mom," Dustin says looking at Mike.

"Are you guys insane, or just stupid?" I ask as I groan. "You weren't supposed to be out tonight, and if you guys tell her. She'll tell your parents, and then you're screwed!"

They fall silent, their faces falling in realization.

"Here's the plan, she sleeps here tonight." Mike starts.

"You're letting a girl-"

"Just listen! In the morning she sneaks around my house, goes to the front door, and rings my doorbell. My mom will answer and she'll know exactly what to do. And then we'll be in the clear!" Mike plans out, and I nod along.

"Seems good enough. Less chance of problems arising." I mutter.

Mike nods his head. "And then we go back out tomorrow night, and we find Will."

"And no leaving me out this time, I'm not kidding," I say as I look at the three of them.

"Alright, you can join us-"

"Oh gee, thanks for the permission. I didn't know that you were Mom." I say as I give Dustin a grin.

---

"Head out Dusty, I'll join you in a minute. Stay on the porch, if you aren't there I'm killing ya." I say as I shove his hat back on his head.

"Yeah yeah."

I chuckle as he walks up the stairs, and I turn back to the girl and Mike. He handed her the sleeping bag and I walked back over.

"We never got your name ya know." She looks back up at me and slowly looks down, rolling her sleeve up.

011.

My eyes widen at the tattoo on her skin, almost like a branding-type thing that was in those books. With pirates and stuff.

"Whoa, is that real?" Mike asks, reaching his hand out to touch it.

She pulls back instantly, and I sigh as Mike pulls back.

"Sorry, I've never seen a kid with a tattoo before."

"What's it mean, Eleven?" I question.

She looks up at me before she points her finger at herself.

"That's your name?"

She nods her head looking down at the cuffs of the sweatshirt. I sigh as I kneel down, sharing a look with Mike.

"Well, how about we call you El for short?" Mike asks, before looking at me. "Like how we call you Dare, and how I'm Mike."

She stares at us and I sigh again. "Alright, El. I'll see you later. I gotta get back home before it gets too late. But I'll visit before it's too late."

She stares at me and I smile lightly, standing up I pat Mike on the back. "Good night Mike, El."

"Night Dare."

"Night Dare." I hear El say and I smile as I walk up the stairs.

---

"YN?" I hum and turn to Dustin who walked into my room.

"Yeah?"

He points at me. "What's that?"

I frown in confusion before looking down. "Oh shit, I forgot about that."

I pull the Dogtags off my neck, holding them instead. "I found Dad's dog tags. You want one?"

He frowns, before nodding with a smile on his face. I grin and roll off my bed, walking to my jewelry box, and pulling out a random chain. I unclasp the dog tags chain and pull one-off, handing him the one still on the chain.

"You can this one, the chain keeps tangling in my hair," I say, grinning as he excitedly puts it on, looking down at it.

"What's the G stand for?" He asks as he reads it.

I shrug. "I don't know, but we can ask Mom tomorrow in the morning."

Sliding the tag onto the new chain, I put it on, smiling.

"Thanks, for this. And for coming with us."

Snickering I reply, "You mean coming after you guys."

He grins nodding, to which I roll my eyes.

"Night Dusty."

"Night Dare."

---

I groan as I walk into school, my feet in pain from walking in the forest last night. I think a stick got into my shoe or something.

"It's Tuesday." I hear Nancy says around the corner.

"It's Tuesday. Oh my god." I hear Tommy laugh.

I raise my brow as I turn the corner to see Barb and Nancy, standing in front of Steve, Tommy, and Carol.

'Ugh, I fucking hate Carol.'

I cross my arms as I lean back against the wall, watching them.

"It'll be just us, no one else. Are you in or not?" Steve says.

Before Nancy could say anything, Carol said, "Oh, God. Look."

I look around my corner, noticing Jonathan Byers pinning something to the bulletin board.

"Oh, God. That's depressing." Steve says, and I look back at them.

Nancy makes eye contact with me and I sigh and roll my eyes. I turn the corner and walk toward Jonathan, and he looks up when I stop next to him.

"Hey." He says, nodding his head.

I nod back, leaning against the wall. I look at the paper he was pinning up, and I feel my lungs constrict at the picture of Will.

"I'm sorry dude," I mutter, looking back at him. "I wish I had biked him home that night."

He shakes his head, looking down at his hands. "if you had, it might have been Dustin. Besides I should have been home-"

"Hey."

We turn, Nancy by my side now. She looks at me before looking back at Jonathan.

"I just. wanted to say, I'm sorry. About everything, you know." She says uncertainly, hesitant. And he glances past her, at Steve and his group. And Barb.

"Everyone's thinking about you." Nancy gives him a small smile, looking at the picture for a moment.

He again doesn't reply, looking down before back at her.

"It sucks." Me and Nancy say, looking at each other quickly.

"Yeah."

I scoff, and he looks at me.

"Sorry, you just kept silent for a while," I mutter, and his mouth twitches up slightly.

Nancy looks at me before turning back to him. "I'm sure he's fine. He's a smart kid."

After that, the bell rang, and I groan, tapping my head against the wall.

"I have to go. Chemistry test." She smiles, pulling at my arm.

"Yeah." He repeats.

"Why are you pulling me? I don't have chemistry-"

"Good luck!" She says to him before turning around and pulling me with her.

"Ow, Nance! Put away the claws!" I hiss as I feel her nails digging in.

"Sorry." She whispers letting go of me, and I rub my arm.

I glare at Carol and Tommy, flipping them off mentally as we pass them.

"Wait, Nance!"

Fucking Steve.

"No can do Steve. This little Lady has a test. No distractions. Talk later!" I say as I pull her along, away from Steve and his two stupid friends.

---

I tap my pencil against my desk. My eyes dart at the clock before I sigh.

"YN?"

I look at the teacher, who raises her brow at me.

"Yeah?" I ask, clearing my throat and sitting up slightly

"Are you with us?" She asked, crossing her arms.

Inhaling deeply, I look down at my desk, before looking at her.

"No. I'm not. I'm not feeling good." I state, looking back at her, before sighing and grabbing my bag.

"YN-"

"I'm going to the nurse's office." I quickly stand, spreading out of the room.

The door bangs open as I walk out, my head down as I speed down the hall. I jog down the hall, turning the corner before stopping and breathing deeply. I lean against the wall, closing my eyes. I slide down the wall, putting my hands on my eyes. Trying to calm down my racing heart.

"Wow, I didn't expect to see you out here by yourself Henderson."

I groan internally as Steve walks down the hall, stopping next to me.

"What do you want?" I don't even look up at him, keeping my eyes closed. Focusing on breathing.

"No need for the hostility." He laughs and I look at him.

His laughter trails off as he nods his head. "Look, I just wanted to-"

"If you're wanting to apologize, don't. You did nothing wrong." I interrupt and he looks at me stunned.

"What, how-"

"I'm just awesome Harrington." I smile thinly, standing up. "Anything else?"

He pauses for a moment and nods. "Why are you so, hostile towards me? Like we've never spoken-"

I roll my eyes. "Because of your shitty friends Harrington. Besides, I don't enjoy new people often. But, if you treat Nancy right," I say glaring at him. "I guess I can drop the hostility. But we won't be besties, capeesh?"

He huffs and nods with a smile. "Seems fair enough."

Humming I nod, turning around to walk to the Nurse's office. "Yeah Yeah, later Harrington."

---

I stare at the boys in confusion, as they explain the earlier events to me.

"She shut the door. With her mind." They nod in confirmation, and I squint at them. "Are you guys high?"

"What!" "No!"

"We aren't lying, we promise," Mike says as he turns to me.

I gaze at him before turning to Eleven, who looked up at me. I sighed and walked over to her, kneeling in front of her.

"Is that true El? You closed the door with your mind?" I ask softly.

She slowly nods her head. "Yes." She softly whispers.

Rubbing my hand on my forehead, I groan as I wrap my head around everything. My head starts feeling lighter, and I cough as I back away from her. I reach into my pocket, pulling out my inhaler.

"And she said she's in danger. Danger danger." Mike repeated and I inhaled, looking at him.

"One thing at a time Mike-"

"Guys! Time for dinner." I hear Mrs. Wheeler yell up the stairs.

I use my inhaler again and clear my throat. I look back at them, with them looking at me with wide eyes. Wondering if I believed them.

"Alright. I believe you. But that doesn't help with the fact that Will's missing." I look between them.

"But she knows about Will-"

I look over at Mike in confusion, before Nancy calls my name.

"We'll talk later." I point at them, glancing at El briefly before heading out of the room.

Walking downstairs, Mrs. Wheeler smiles when she sees me, as does Nancy. I smile thinly as I sit down next to Nancy. The food, the meatloaf, looked good. But I didn't feel good or feel like eating. Nancy cast me a worried glance, leaning towards me.

"Steve told me about what happened. You were sick in the hall?" She whispered to me, and I looked at her from the corner of my eye.

"No, I had an asthma attack. Forgot to bring my inhaler, and I didn't make it to the Nurse in time." Nancy's eyes widened, and she opened her mouth before I cut her off. "No, I'm fine! I just couldn't breathe for a few moments. I got through it. I'm fine Nance."

Mrs. Wheeler looked at me in concern. "What happened?"

"What happened?" Dustin asked as he walked downstairs with Lucas and Mike.

Sighing I shake my head. "Nothing happened-"

"Nothing happened?" Nancy loudly blurted out, looking at me with anger written on her face. "YN, you had an asthma attack and you didn't have your inhaler with you! You could have died!"

Mrs. Wheeler, Dustin, Mike- everyone except Mr. Wheeler and Holly were talking over each other at me. I waved my hands in reassurance. "I'm fine! I wouldn't have died. It was just a tiny one. Nothing major! Besides I was using the advice from the doctor and it helped Nance."

I turn to Dustin. "I'm fine, I promise."

He looks at me in worry, before sighing and nodding his head. Mrs. Wheeler gives me a look, the mother look, and I smile. "I promise, I'm alright."

Nancy glares at me before stabbing her meatloaf. "And you have your inhaler now, right?"

I roll my eyes taking a bite of my mashed potatoes. "Yes, Mom."

She turns to me and gives me the mom glare. "I keep telling you to bring it, and when you don't this happens."

Looking at her, I nod. "Alright fine. You're right. And I do have one on me, a full one."

She stares at me for a moment longer before exhaling and turning back to her food. "Well, I'm glad you're alright."

I huff and smirk at her. "Little asthma won't take me down."

Shaking her head she smiles, looking over at her mom.

"They're having a rally, at the school. For Will." She says, and I look over at her in confusion. "Everyone will be there. And Barb will drive me."

Mrs. Wheeler looked at her in confusion. "Why am I just now hearing about this?"

Nancy glanced over at me, then at Mike before looking back at her mom. "I thought you already knew about it."

Mrs. Wheeler shakes her head. "I already said I don't want you to be out at night until Will is found-"

"Come on Mrs. Wheeler." I grin at her. "It would be weird if we didn't go there. Besides, you've got your hands full with these dorks-"

"Hey!"

"I think it would be good for her to go out away from them," I state.

Nancy smiles at me, but her brows were furrowed in confusion. "You're coming with me. I'm not letting them take over your mind any more than they have."

My eyes widen, "What-"

"Fine, but be back by 10." Mrs. Wheeler sighed.

I nudge her foot with mine, giving her a confused look. She leans over. "Just go with it please."

Staring at her for a moment I sigh and nod. "Alright."

Mike coughs up his milk next to me, and I groan as I feel some of it hitting my shirt.

"Dude!" I exclaim as Dustin hits the table. "Milk doesn't wash out easily man!"

"Sorry, spasm." Dustin smiled, and I looked at him.

I had missed something.

---

Barb honks the horn, and Nancy drags me out of the house. She immediately jumps into the passenger, and I sigh as I hop in the back.

"Why are you always shotgun?" I ask aloud, as I cross my arms in the back seat.

She turns to look over her shoulder with a grin. "Because you're too slow."

I sigh leaning my head back and looking out the back window.

"It's not like I wanted to come with you," I mutter.

"Ditto," Barbra replied, and I look at her in confusion.

Nancy gives her a look, and I gasp as I realize what was really happening.

"Really Nancy? You're dragging us to Steve's stupid ass party?"

Nancy shook her head.

"That's exactly what's going on." Barbra interrupts her.

Nancy sighs and looks at her. "It would be weird if I went by myself."

I snort. "Not really, if anything it would increase his chance of getting into your pants."

She gapes at me, before shaking her head rapidly. Barbra nods her head in agreement.

"No, no he isn't-"

"Oh look at the denial on this one," I say as I lean forward, putting my arms on the two seats.

Barbra laughs as Nancy groans and shakes her head a blush setting on her cheeks. I grin as she buries her face in her hands.

"And now she's embarrassed." Barbra points out, nudging Nancy with her finger.

I laugh as I pat her shoulder. "Don't worry Nancy, I'm sure Steve will like your new bra."

Barbra gasps as she turns to look at Nancy in shock.

"I am not- It is not a new bra!" She cries out, a smile on her face, as she turns to me.

I hum and nod, narrowing my eyes. "Mhmm sure, tell that to the receipt in your trash can."

"You went through my trash?" Her eyes went wide.

Barbra bursts out laughing and I lean forward more. "No, but maybe I should. Confirmed bra for special night-"

"I didn't buy it for him-"

Barbra and I gasp and I look at Barb. "You hear that Barbra, she didn't buy it for him." I mimic a posh accent.

She grins as she glances at me for a moment before focusing on the road. "Oh dear, but she bought a new bra." She played along.

"Guys-"

"A new bra, for a different suitor. Not for Steve! Oh, who is this mysterious man? Who has doth stolen our best friend's heart." I grin deviously. "And our friend's innocent mind."

Nancy groaned and shook her head as we slowly came to a stop.

"Are you both done?" She asks, turning to me mostly.

We share a glance and I sigh. "Fine."

---

"You're fucking lucky that you didn't hit a fucking blood vessel or something," I say as I try my best to wrap her wounds.

She chuckles, before hissing as I tighten it around her thumb. I look down at it as I let go.

"I did a terrible job," I mutter.

She nods her head, squinting at me. "Yeah, you did."

I roll my eyes and nudge her arm. "Shut up, I'll get better. But we should probably leave, otherwise, Mrs. Wheeler might throw a fit."

Barbra scoffs. "Good luck trying to get her to leave."

I stare at her before sighing. "Alright, let's go."

We walk out of the bathroom, hearing the distant sounds of laughter. I glance at my hands, before realizing that I had left blood on my hands.

"Shit, I'm gonna wash this off, you go and try to see if you can steal her back," I tell Barb, who nods her head.

I disappear back into the bathroom, turning on the water. I cringe as the water starts turning pink as I scrub my hands of blood. I use the coconut hand soap, nodding my head at the alright smell. And I look around for a towel.

"Shit. They're rich but they only have one fucking hand towel?" I mutter before wiping my hands on the back of my jeans.

I walk back out of the bathroom, hands clean of blood. I glance around as I head to the front door.

"Hey, Nance?" I call out but don't get an answer.

I frown before heading to check the pool first. Not wanting to get scarred.

"Nancy? Barb?" I call out, as I walk out, but find nothing.

I look down at the board, noticing the small blood thumbprint. I frown heavily, wiping it away with my shoe before hearing a distant stick snapping. I look towards the woods, squinting in the darkness.

I glance back at the house, before sighing and heading towards the forest.

"Swear to god, if they ditched me I'm going to commit murder."

I open the fence gate and run into the forest, well, jog really.

"Hello?" I call out, trying to find out if it had been a human or animal around.

"Barbra?" I shout as I step around a bush of poison oak.

I hear another snap, and I look to my right.

"Jonathan? What are you doing out here?" I ask.

He held up his camera. "I was taking pictures. Trying to find clues. Thought maybe they were looking in the wrong direction."

I sigh and nod. "Possible, yeah. You haven't seen Barb have you?"

He shakes his head after a moment.

"No, I haven't. Do you need a ride home?"

I nod my head and follow him back to his car. I would just yell at Nance and Barb for ditching me tomorrow.

[Next Part]

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undreaming-fanfiction · 2 years

Text

Only Ours

Fandom: Stranger Things

Rating: T

Pairing: Steddie, Dustin x Suzie

Category: fluff, songfic, domesticity, established relationship

Summary: Dustin blinked at them, surprised. "Wait, Steve. You...don't have one?"

"One what?"

"A song. For you and Eddie?" Dustin tried again, eyes shifting between them as if he expected it to be some kind of a joke. "Come on, isn't that like a classic relationship thing?"

Eddie learns that Steve would very much like them to have a couple song and since he's the only one with any musical taste in this relationship, it's up to him.

You can also read it HERE.

I fully support the idea I read in other fics that if Eddie were to get a cat, its name would be Ozzy. In fact, I believe that Eddie would spoil the cat rotten and tell the cat that whatever it did was "so metal, darling" and Steve would self-combust with jealousy over a cat. Except Ozzy would sometimes do the cat thing where their alliances change in a split second and Eddie would be left with two sassy and gorgeous creatures who'd team up from time to time just to keep him on his toes.

Why 1990 you ask? Because the perfect song for my boys only came out then.

Oh yeah, now the story.

December 1990, Hawkins, Indiana

Four years ago, the world didn't end, although it certainly tried. Steve's head throbbed just thinking about it, so he mostly just attempted not to. Some people had been reported missing but were, in fact, dead. Other people had died but then it turned out they were just resurrected/transported into another dimension/kidnapped to Russia. The ground split in Hawkins in an angry X shape and killed more people, injured some and destroyed a large chunk of the town. Levitation, gruesome deaths, terrifying sounds of crunching bones, Hawkins had it all. And since most official channels were useless, it was up to the Hawkins' young and finest, sometimes also weirdest and some additions from other places like California, to do something about it. Which they did, yay, world saved and all, now back to your lives, college, high school, you name it, and keep that trauma under the wraps, yeah? Others might not understand.

Apart from the interdimensional monster fighting, superpowers, government conspiracies, possessions and more Dungeons and Dragons references than he ever cared to know, Steve also had a few surprising personal revelations.

One, his parents sucked. Not slightly, not subjectively, but massively and in so many ways that his brain decided You know what, let's just erase this shit. He sometimes wondered if that was the reason why he felt so stupid, that his head just decided that in order to get rid of the thoughts of his parents, everything else from that time should also go. When they decided to leave Hawkins for good and graciously left him the house sitting next to a melted line in the ground, he breathed a sigh of relief. There had been a time when he'd give anything for them to notice him, but after the hell of 1986, his friends threw a Farewell, suckers! party (well, Eddie and Robin did and Nancy, Jonathan and Argyle happily joined) and after raiding his father's alcohol stash, setting up an improvised shooting range outside with their perfect family photographs and desecrating his mother's beloved tablecloth with red wine, he felt unexpectedly free. He could do anything he wanted and...yeah. He'd have to figure out where to start with that.

Two, he had no fucking clue what he wanted, but fortunately his heart didn't wait for the brain to catch up and just pointed in the direction of recently resurrected Eddie Munson and shouted "GO!". Steve should have probably found it confusing, he should have had a sexuality crisis, but he was so tired after all that crap, Eddie was actually great and his eyes were pretty, and maybe it wasn't figuring out his sexuality but rather finding a person he clicked with. He still liked boobies, but he also liked Eddie. Robin tried to educate him on what he was, but after seeing a few of their disgustingly romantic looks, she just settled on Eddiesexual. Steve didn't protest (much).

Three, he still was a romantic. Steve had always played up the romantic side with the ladies and did what was expected of him, wooing, flowers, dinners, all that, because that's what you were supposed to do. But he was completely clueless when Eddie agreed to date him. What do you get a guy for a date? Or more precisely, what do you get Eddie? As it turned out, he was overthinking for no reason because all the roads led to Eddie's heart. It took a while for him to calm down, but Eddie took everything in a stride and even when Steve knocked on his door, sleep-deprived and babbling about the prettiest flower he saw on his way from work that reminded him of Eddie and he just had to pick it for him, Eddie would just grin, say "another score for the Harrington charm, come on in big boy" and wear the flower proudly in his hair until it wilted.

All of these revelations lead to some changes in his life. When things settled down, he sold the house, not sparing a single look when he shut the door behind him for the last time. It was a final goodbye to his prior shitty life and when he moved to a much smaller, older and cheap, but cozier house, he felt like he could breathe again. Then Eddie moved in with him, as they both decided the distance was not too great, but absolutely unnecessary. And when Eddie suggested getting a pet together, Steve's first thought was his father's voice, saying Absolutely not, animals are messy, there is no merit to them, Steven. The second thought was giving that voice the finger, grabbing the his keys in one hand, Eddie's wrist in the other one and driving to the nearest shelter. So year 1990 saw him living a comfortable, quiet life with Eddie and Ozzy (because what else would Eddie Munson call his cat, right), both working not very prestigious but normal jobs. They would still meet their friends often, the whole survived-the-end-of-the-world squad might have left Hawkins here and there, but always returned, as if there was a magnetic pull to the place. It was probably just difficult to feel fully at home somewhere else, where no one understood your caution, your quirks and nightmares. With Nancy and Robin's support ("Nagging," Eddie corrected him, "it's called nagging, Harrington"), both Steve and Eddie applied to a community college and got in, seeing it both as a good step forward in their lives, but also a much needed fuck you to the Harrington senior expectations and Munson predetermined criminal future.

And hey, it wasn't the life Steve had imagined before, but it was so much better than any fantasies he had for his future with Nancy because what he had with Eddie was real, it was domestic and comfortable and just home. They got to see their kids grow up and couldn't be prouder of them, even though they had at least one of them over every single day, providing relationship guidance and reassuring them that even if, for some unimaginable reason, their college dreams didn't work out, it wasn't the end of the world (because that was a bit more dark, screechy and filled with floating particles), that things work out in the end, look at them, community college and all, who would have thought that the former jock with more hair than brain cells and a metalhead who took three years to graduate would do so well for themselves? You have nothing to worry about, nothing at all.

When Dustin got older, he and Suzie finally started travelling to see each other. He would often complain to Eddie and Steve during his visits that even all those years later, his friends would always send him on his way with a heartfelt rendition of Never Ending Story and sadly, Eddie didn't turn out to be as sympathetic to his plight as Dustin might have hoped. When he learned the finer details of the Starcourt debacle and how the world was saved by Suzie's genius and Dustin's voice, Eddie collapsed into Steve and howled in laughter while Dustin mouthed "traitor!" at him. Steve just grabbed the nearest pillow and offhandedly muffled Eddie's outburst.

"Don't take it personally, man," he told Dustin while Eddie choked and gasped for air under the merciless fabric. Somewhere in the room, Ozzy gave a concerned chirp, but Steve ignored it. "I think it's cute and they might be jealous, you know? I think it has to be really nice to have a song like that," he smiled at him and eased his grip on the pillow. "Will you behave now, Munson?" A muted confirmation seemed to be enough and Eddie sat back up, trying to fix his hair which now looked like a bird's nest.

Dustin blinked at them, surprised. "Wait, Steve. You...don't have one?"

"One what?" He wasn't really paying attention, trying to untangle Eddie's rings that got stuck in his curls. This man needed a constant supervision and Steve was the right man for the job.

"A song. For you and Eddie?" Dustin tried again, eyes shifting between them as if he expected it to be some kind of a joke. "Come on, isn't that like a classic relationship thing?"

Steve's ears went slightly pink. "Um, no. I don't think I've ever had one. But I think it's really cool and you and Suzie have something like that, don't let those other shitheads ruin it for you." His smile was genuine and comforting, but Dustin's mind was already racing.

He turned his focus to Eddie, frowning. "Really, Eddie? All that musical knowledge and not a single song for the two of you?"

Eddie hugged the pillow that had nearly cost him his life seconds ago and grabbed a strand of his hair, pulling it in front of his face. "I don't...I don't think it ever came up?" he says, eyes darting to Steve. "Why didn't you say that was what you wanted, Stevie?"

Steve just shrugged, the pink hue returning. "Um. I always thought it came up naturally? Like. When you get your first kiss during a song or something, then it's your song?"

"Well, yeah, it can be like that, I guess," Eddie admitted, frowning. "But I don't think there are any rules to it. And if there are, screw them. You're gonna get that song, baby, no matter what. Time for some research." He slapped his thighs and suddenly jumped up, rushing from the door. By the sounds from the next room, Eddie was rummaging through his entire musical collection.

Steve stared at Dustin with furrowed brows. "What...has just happened?"

Dustin rolled his eyes. "It's called communicating your wants and needs, Steve."

From that moment on, Eddie started something that could only be called a quest. He was completely serious about fulfilling this single wish and while he normally played his music at obnoxious volumes, he ended up digging up his walkman and listening to tens of tapes, scribbling his notebook and whenever Steve approached him, Eddie would stop the track and shoo him away. Steve was growing concerned with the amount of time Eddie was spending on...well...his wish. He tried to backtrack, told Eddie that it wasn't a big deal, it didn't really matter that they didn't have their song, but Eddie always cut that crap short. "Steve. If I can do this one single thing for you, why the hell wouldn't I? Let me handle it. If I have a candidate, you will be the first one to know, okay?"

And so Steve waited. It took weeks and he was slowly getting worried that he set Eddie up for a failure, because while they met here and there in their musical taste, it wasn't exactly compatible or anywhere near the love song territory. So when Eddie finally called him over one evening, just after the holidays, he was equally excited and terrified.

"So," Eddie started, clearing his throat. "I just want to let you know that I tried to take everything into consideration. Our styles. Suitable lyrics. I went through a ton of songs, and trust me, there are tons that feel like they are about us, but I was...I was trying to find something that would represent how I see you. And I think...I think I finally found it, but it's just a suggestion. If you don't like it, we can drop it."

Steve recognized the album before Eddie could continue, it was one of the newer ones that Eddie picked up and he had to chuckle, more in amusement than disappointment. "Slaughter?" he snorted and pointed at the band name. "Really, Munson? I mean, sure, sounds about right for what we went through-"

"Will you just - can you please shut that pretty mouth of yours and listen to it?!" It could have sounded annoyed, except not really, because Eddie was never mad about Steve's music preferences (or lack of them). Only then did he notice that Eddie looked genuinely nervous, his eyes were everywhere but on Steve and he was chewing his lip with enough force to make it red and swollen. He was wringing his hands and pacing in the narrow space of their room, back and forward, only squeezing two steps in before spinning around on his heel. Ozzy gave a quiet mrrrow and rubbed against his ankle, almost making Eddie trip. After the stream of creative insults against the poor (but definitely not sorry) creature ended, Eddie sighed and picked the now very content cat up, rubbing his chin. "Seriously, Stevie. It's not a joke, I swear, I just...when I heard it, I immediately thought of you, you know? I mean, it says Lady instead of...I don't know, Stevie, but I guess that would be too specific and it's not like we're the target audience, I guess. I can sing that line for you though. If that bothers you. So just try it, please. If you don't like it, I will never bring it up again." He finally looked at Steve and how could he refuse those beautiful dark eyes?

Steve felt the involuntary rise of the corners of his mouth, something that Eddie brought into his life. Dustin was always making fun of Steve grinning like an idiot in the presence of their dungeon master, but Eddie liked it, often pinching his cheeks and peppering kisses over his forehead until he turned Steve's chronic frown upside down ("but with less bats," he always added and that was a guaranteed chuckle right there). So if Eddie liked him smiling, Henderson could bite Suzie's...computer. Crossing the short distance between them, he stroked Ozzy's ears and kissed Eddie on the lips, short and sweet. "Of course, Eddie. Even if it's not the one, I always appreciate you broadening my music horizons," he remarked with a grin.

"Oh, you don't." Eddie's shoulders finally relaxed and he laid Ozzy on the bed, petting him in place of an apology. "Sit down with me, yeah? Before the majestic feline decides to maul me for my insolence." With that, he leaned over to the cassette player and hit play.

Okay, so the initial guitar wail may have freaked him out a little. Eddie didn't do a low or even a medium volume. He flinched and his hand on Ozzy's back twitched, but then Eddie's fingers were over his and... Hm. The intro isn't that bad. Not romantic, but nothing scream-y or too heavy. Actually, the melody wasn't bad at all. Steve gave Eddie an encouraging smile and the marvelled at the returned grin.

And then the singing started. A bit husky, yet still melodic, but that didn't matter because all he could focus on were the lyrics.

I've been livin' in this lonely world

Wishin' I could find someone to love

Hopin' someone would come from above

Change my life

Steve's breath hitched. That hit too close to home. Way too close. His fingers started trembling, but Eddie's hand was there, warm, large and with callouses felt so good on his skin.

Then I noticed you there

You were my angel sent from my despair

I know that you are the lady who cares

Eddie's grin became more muted now, a bit unsure as he mouthed Stevie over the lyrics, but Steve tightened his grip on the other man's hand. Ozzy made a chirp of disappointment and left the bed for something more fun because the back scratches were becoming infrequent, but Steve didn't even notice.

I want to spend my life with you

With you

He felt like he might cry. His eyes burned a bit and oh, he got it now, why Eddie would think of him and why he could only think of Eddie with this song. Those long fingers were caressing his knuckles as if he was the most precious piece of fine art he'd ever seen and there was so much fondness in Eddie's eyes, those stubborn wrinkles around them showing as he kept smiling and Steve loved him so much he didn't know how to cope. He redirected his straying focus back to the lyrics because Eddie wanted him to hear them. Eddie picked this song for them, for him.

I think of all of those sleepless nights

To survive

It's like the earth was standing still

You know I hardly had the will

A bitten off sob escaped Steve's throat. He was used to hiding his soft side from everyone, but never from Eddie because he never made fun of him, never judged. Eddie might have chuckled to himself when he noticed Steve's glassy eyes and uneven breathing during romantic movies, but he always pulled Steve closer, arm around his shoulders, burying his face in that luscious hair and never commenting on the dampness on his t-shirt. Steve still couldn't understand how or why, but he had learned - with Eddie's stubborn support - that he was not only loved, but loved for exactly who he was.

Then I noticed you there

You were my angel sent from my despair

I know that you are the lady who cares

I want to spend my life with you

I want to spend my life with you, baby

My lady

You're true

He wasn't exactly crying, well, not sobbing, but there were a few rogue tears and Eddie just moved closer, pulled Steve against him and began stroking his hair, all while gently swaying to the music. Steve was so, so thankful that Eddie understood, that he didn't panic or immediately halt everything because something made him cry. Perhaps that was the definition of true love, to be known and still loved, to enjoy the nearness and choose the lazy domestic mornings and slight annoyances over temporary butterflies.

I want to spend my life with you

I wanna spend my life with you

Only with you baby

I want to spend my life with you

You know you're my little angel

I want to spend my life with you

Okay, that was it. He couldn't just wait for the song to finish, not now and certainly not with Eddie right next to him. Steve tackled his boyfriend onto the bed and Eddie produced an undignified squeak when Steve spun them around, burying Eddie's upper body in their mountain of pillows. He only had a second to appreciate Eddie's delighted bark of laughter before kissing him silly, not caring for once that his tears were visible and dripping down onto Eddie's face. He would have loved to be a bit more refined in his technique, but he was (in Dustin's words) an emotional mess, so enthusiastic and wild it was. Not that the rest of the lyrics were helping in regaining of composure.

Oh don't you knowI want to spend

All of my life with you babe

'Cause you gave me all your lovin'

And baby I know it's true

'Cause you're the only one for me

Baby I'm the one for you

The song was becoming quieter and he could feel Eddie's hand fumbling on the player and pressing stop. Then it returned to his hair and Steve might have forgotten to breathe, but it was becoming obvious that he wasn't getting out of talking that easily. Eddie's hungry kisses were slowing down, becoming gentler and finally turning into little pecks. He managed to grab Steve's jaw and take a shaky breath. "Holy shit, big boy," he laughed and stroked the moles on his boyfriend's throat. "I gather that's a Yes, I like it?" he whispered, still grinning.

Steve wiped his eyes and leaned his forehead against Eddie's. "As if you couldn't tell. Yeah. Yeah, I liked it. A lot. I think...I think it's the one, Eddie. If you're okay with it."

Eddie pumped his fist in the air victoriously. "More than okay. I guess I'm just relieved it wasn't a complete miss, I hadn't been that nervous since I was a teenager. I mean, I wish this song existed when we got together, it would have been a much easier confession and it would still hit all the points." He stilled when he heard a sharp intake of breath. "I hope you're okay with all of them...?"

"Shit, Eddie," whispered Steve and buried his face into Eddie's t-shirt. "I loved it. All of them, but that...chorus, I think, that one the most." He wondered how to say the million things swirling in his mind, how this song managed to silence the "bullshit" he had always feared, how he'd never thought anyone would ever say these words to him. To be someone's absolute choice.

To his surprise, Eddie just laughed and hugged him like an octopus, hands, feet, all crushing Steve in a long-limbed hug. "Ah, yes. You seemed surprised at that, so let me ask you. Do you really doubt I want to spend all the years I have left and then some with you, Steve? When we live together," he nudged Steve's side gently, making him squirm, "we have six kids and a cat," another nudge, another squirm, "we're in the middle of saving for that dream road trip of yours and, most importantly, you make the best goddamn pancakes in Hawkins? Jesus, Stevie. I'm not giving you up, even when you're much older, bald and you spend all your day bitching about Max and Lucas's kids skating on our sidewalk. You're stuck with me, so deal with it."

Steve smiled through his tears and leaned down into that tight, crushing embrace. "Yeah. That works for me. I do want that, Eddie, all of that. And..."

Eddie relaxed his arms and tilted his head at Steve's hopeful tone. "And, Stevie?"

Steve's breath tickled Eddie's ear as he whispered: "You said you had more songs that reminded you of us. I'd like to hear them."

He laughed then, free and wild, as if that was it, that was the ultimate highlight of his life. Nothing better would ever happen, except that was a lie, wasn't it? In a life with Steve Harrington, this was just the beginning. "Are you asking me for a mixtape, Steve? After four years?"

"Mhm." Steve's lips moved to Eddie's throat and well, it looked like a turtleneck for tomorrow and the day after that. He found it difficult to remember why it was a bad thing. "I can offer those beloved pancakes of yours as a compensation."

Eddie moved his leg to the side and threw off Steve's balance, flipping them around. "Oh baby, you've got yourself a deal" he grinned before gently nudging Ozzy out of the door and closing it, because some things were definitely not meant for cat eyes and ears.

--------------

No beta, we die like all the characters whose names begin with B, so sorry. I don’t have a beta reader and I’m fully aware there are some gramatical errors, if anyone is willing to put up with a non-native speaker raging over all the “perfect” tenses, I will love you forever.

Oh yeah. The song is Spend My Life by Slaughter.

#steddie #steve x eddie #steddie fanfiction #steve harrington #eddie munson #dustin henderson #stranger things #stranger things fanfiction #strangerthingsfanfiction #fluff #steddie brainrot #songfic #ish

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themollyjay · 7 months

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Am I The Asshole For Accidently Stealing An Arcane Blacksite? (AITA D&D Edition)

First some Background. About 15 years ago, a meteorite full of Eldritch Magic fell on the city where I (f27 Tiefling) lived. A couple of days later, I woke up in the back of a cart that was part of an evacuation caravan. When I woke up, I didn't remember a thing. Not even my name. The guy driving the cart told me he'd found me along the side of the road, and told me my name. For a long time, I thought he just made the name up, but I didn't have a better one, and I kind of liked it, so it stuck.

For the next 8 years, I was enrolled at a magically academy (in my country, everyone with magic is required to attend this school), and it was mostly okay. I had this one girl, call her Alice (f28 Half Elf, fake name) who I really liked, and we even started dating for a bit towards the end, but there were a lot of students and even a couple of teachers who claimed I was cursed because I came from the city that got hit by the meteorite.

About 7 years back, I got into a fight with a guy, Fuckhead (fake name) because he groped Alice. Two of the teachers who hated me made it clear they were going to use this as an excuse to kick me out, so I did the only thing I could. I left before they could kick me out. I asked Alice to come with me, but she refused. She wanted to stay at school. She thought I should fight to stay too, but I could see the writing on the wall. The only teacher on my side was kind of like a mother to me, but she was really low ranking, and the people who wanted me gone were really high up, so I packed my shit, and left.

For a long time, I made my way in the world. Alice and I still exchanged letters, even though we were broken up. Then, about 18 months ago, we kind of had a fight. I asked her to leave the academy again, and she said no, and I got a little heated, and she just stopped replying to my letters. A couple of months back, I heard a roomer that she was part of an academy expedition to research the magic of the meteor that wiped out the city I came from, so I decided to go to the city, hoping I could find her, and maybe find out about my past a bit too (Look, I'm not gonna pretend it wasn't mostly me wanting to get back with Alice, but I *did* want to know about my past).

Anyway, when I got there, I hooked up with a bunch of weirdos, as one does. One of them is Julia (fake name) a big, beautiful, and buff Dark Elf Cleric who occasionally reminds me why I'm gay by giving me those super tight hugs, and making me sort of want to murder her boyfriend in his sleep. Anyway, I mention the cleric because it will be important later.

So, about a month back, I find out that Alice got trapped in a time loop spell, and when I broke the spell, she died. I also found out the woman I considered to be like a mother to me hadn't thought to mention Alice was missing for 18 months. I also found out that my mother worked for the academy, I have a sister, that my memories had been deliberately erased by a guy who was basically my mother's assistant, and that he likely wiped my memories so he could kidnapped my baby sister, and that the guy currently in charge of the expedition to the city for the academy most likely knew exactly who my mother was, and hid that information from me.

Now, going back to the Cleric, she and her boyfriend are actually from a different plane of existence and came here to escape a bunch of Dark Elves who wanted to kill her for abandoning their god or something. IDK. I'm a little sketchy on details, because she's big and buff and hot and my little gay brain kind of shuts down around her.

Anyway, because she's from another plane of existence, her connection to her god is fading, so she decided to introduce worship of her god to this world (don't judge, really, the temples in this world are shit. We could use some new gods that actually give a damn). Well, she needed a place to kind of hold services for her little church (she gets upset when we call it a cult, even though technically, it is), and we're staying in a small, mostly abandoned village on the outskirts of the city where I was born, since the Eldritch magic of the meteor that fell makes the city itself uninhabitable, so we get the idea to clear out this big, haunted manor house on the south side of the village.

We go into the house, only it turns out it's not haunted. It's full of arcane traps and there's evidence that some members of the academy were there, but everything looks old as balls, and is covered in dust and cobwebs, so I figure the arcane protections were put in place back before the meteor. There's easy enough to dismantle. A few dispel magics and our little group has a new base of operations, and Hot Cleric has a base for her church.

Then, we get an angry letter cursing us out for steeling the academy's headquarters, and telling us to enjoy being on his shit list. Which means we can't do any more jobs for the academy, which was kind of the main way we were making money.

Well, I figure I'll go fix it in the morning, but when I go over to talk to the woman who had been giving us most of the jobs for the academy, she's skipped down and left a note telling us we pissed off the guy in charge. The same guy who is hiding details of my past from me.

Now, I don't think I've done anything wrong. It's not like the big "haunted mansion" had a sign out front saying "secret headquarters, do not enter". Everyone in town told us it was a haunted house. We figured we were doing everyone a favor clearing out the ghosts. But I tried doing a sending spell to talk to the guy, and he didn't respond, but I could feel how pissed off he is through the spell, so I gotta ask, Am I the Asshole?

#dnd #dnd5e #dnd character

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themerchliing · 1 year

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Jan Van Eck hired the best tutors from every corner of the world to teach his son multiple subjects — Wylan has always been home-schooled — with particular attention given to the fact that Wylan never learned to read or write. Ever since he was a child, he struggled with it and the frustrations from his father didn’t help matters.

At eight, after his mother’s death (or so he thinks…) Jan became abusive. He constantly called Wylan a moron and couldn't stand to be around him. He resorted to beatings to scare him into working harder, but Wylan’s brain genuinely struggled with words and the abuse made it worse rather than motivating him to do better.

With tutors coming and going, most of them too frustrated with the boy to continue (as well as Jan establishing a rule that said no tutor would be employed for more than two years if they didn't succeed), a new one appeared when Wylan was eighteen. Upon working with Wylan, he realized that he was incredibly smart — something that his father never took the time to notice. He used Wylan’s fondness for math, problem-solving, and art to teach him in a way that would make sense to Wylan’s unique brain — by using diagrams and maps:

“I used to meet with one of my tutors here, back when my father still thought … The tutor had a lot of interesting stories. And I always liked the maps. Tracing the letters sometimes made it easier to … It’s how I found the passage.” - Wylan.

The tutor was patient and encouraged Wylan to try, knowing that he’d given up due to his father’s impatience and constant abuse. Progress was sometimes slow, sometimes non-existent, but the tutor would still praise him. Due to this, Wylan slowly developed a desire to hear more praise which often made him seek validation. He didn’t get anything like that from his father, so he turned to the tutor for it. Over the course of the next few months, Wylan also developed a crush. Up until that point, he’d been aware that he had no interest in girls, instead preferring to wonder about men.

One night, he decided to flirt with the tutor. It was on a whim and he didn’t think anything would come of it. However, when the tutor reacted in a positive way and responded with flirting of his own, Wylan was surprised. It opened his eyes up to the world of his own sexuality. They kissed and did other intimate things before the tutor took his leave, too guilty to take it all the way despite Wylan wanting to. However, that was all it took for Wylan to wonder if maybe there might be more to life than constant studying and being trapped in the Van Eck mansion.

After Wylan’s stepmother, Alys, became pregnant, Wylan’s father attempted to have Wylan killed in order to protect the repute of the Van Eck name and erase Wylan from public memory. His father told Wylan he was going to study music in Belendt, but instructed two of his guards to kill Wylan on the browboat as they left Ketterdam. After nearly being strangled, Wylan jumped into the canal and eventually swam to shore.

Now twenty-years-old, Wylan ended up in the Barrel, where he rented a room at a boarding house and hid for a few days before venturing out to find work at a tannery, barely able to make enough money to scrape by. He went by Wylan Hendriks, his mother’s surname. After he made some money, he purchased a workshop for cheap because nobody else wanted it and the seller wanted it off his hands. This is where he does his demo work, but also where he lives, which is seen in season two.

He was strapped for cash after purchasing the workshop, so when Kaz Brekker showed up to ask him to make a phosphorus bomb that he could use against the Darkling, Wylan agreed, thinking it would be a one-time thing and not a real step into Kaz's world.

However, a couple of weeks later, he met Jesper Fahey while exploring the Barrel on one of his rare days off. The two were instantly attracted to each other and spent the entire day together, which ended in them nearly becoming intimate that night. However, Wylan decided to flee, thinking that it was dangerous to become attached to someone and that, even after the lovely day they had, it was just too good to be true.

After that, he visited his old rented room at the boarding house to retrieve something he'd forgotten only to discover that his father had sent a letter; this showed that Jan was aware that Wylan was alive. Panicked by this — he was afraid his father would send more men to kill him — Wylan decided to quit his apprenticeship at the tannery so that he could focus on doing demo work for Kaz. His father continued to send letters in an attempt to taunt him, knowing that his son couldn't read them. However, Wylan now living in his workshop, fortunately never received them.

#//just a bit of added detail to the canon timeline #//also i age wylan up because #//i don't feel comfortable with the crows being underage.

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jesusnf-blog · 8 months

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This is the first story I publish here. I wrote it a year ago when I finished the books and it's one of the first ones I did that I like the most.

The story is a continuation of the end of the saga "The folk of the air" written by Holly Black. They are books with an incredible dark fantasy story and I highly recommend them. So if you haven't read them yet and you're interested, you better stop reading. If you are not so interested in the saga and you are only here for the tickles, let me tell you that this is the cute story of a couple trying tickling for the first time.

I hope you like it a lot, I love receiving comments, so if you have any, you are welcome to write them.

Without further ado:

The weakness of the kings of Elfhame

One more day, the High King skips his duties. And I'm sick of it! Ever since our power was established and I officially began ruling alongside Cardan, he has done nothing but escape from his duties as king. It is possible that he needs a little rest, I left him alone for a year, without being able to answer his letters, with all the power in his hands and with my father on the lookout to start a big attack... But that is not reason enough to leave me stranded again with the Living Council. Oh no, not this time.

Notifying the Council of our delay, I head to the royal quarters as I watch the guards who guard the doors begin to open them upon my arrival. I think my annoyed expression has made it clear to them that I don't want to waste time. When I enter the room I see him. Despite the fact that several hours have passed since the moon began to bath the fields of Elfhame with its rays, Cardan is still lying and curled up between the blankets without his shirt. I'm still angry. I'm still angry. Or so I want to believe. But it's just that seeing him with that calm expression while he sleeps in our bed only manages to relax me and make goofy smile appear on my lips, smile that I try to erase to recover my seriousness. Gently, I crouch down in front of him and begin to gently touch his face.

-Hey, hey, hey, wake up - I know how much it bothers him that I wake him up like that, so I can't help but do it this time.

However, my fun (if that's what I can call it) is interrupted when Cardan carefully takes my wrist and gives me a menacing smile, his eyes slowly opening filled with "hate".

"How many times have I told you that this is not the way to wake up the High King of Elfhame?"

"And how many times have I told you not to anger the High Queen of Elfhame?" I pull my wrist out of his hand as I stand up trying to suppress my triumphant smirk for having bothered him.

-And what did I do this time my dear wife? - he answers as he shakes his head beginning to sit up. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see how his tail lashes against the mattress.

- What do you think, Cardan? - I point out the window - we should have met with the Living Council a long time ago, remember?

-Ugh, again? But we just met few days ago. I'm sure Randalin just wants to annoy us and make us fight like now, since he doesn't want you as Queen of Elfhame -he replies with a pout as he falls back down on the bed suddenly.

-Cardan~ the important thing is that you want me as Queen of Elfhame, and leave Randalin now, you know that that was only at the beginning. Can we go now?

-Tsk, I still don't trust him - with a sigh he extends his hand towards me with a smile and a strange twinkle in his eyes - since we have to go yes or yes, could you at least help me get up, please?

This can't give me a worse feeling. When he looks like this, it means he's up to something and I should nip that something at the root before he thinks he can keep avoiding his tasks as king. However... I know well that he is responsible, and that he knows his obligations, he is no longer the same prince that I knew at school. I also know that it is true that the Council met with us very recently and as far as I know, there is nothing too serious or that urgently need our attention. Lastly, I have to admit that for the past few months, that look of his has done nothing but pull me in and draw me in, even though I feel like it could get me in trouble, I've kept moving towards it, because it's one of the best things about Cardan. I know he can get you into trouble, but it's never too bad to worry me or too mild to bore me. So, finally, I decide to extend my hand to his to take it.

-You're unbearable, you know that~? - I asked amused taking his hand.

-Unbearable falls short, my dear queen~ -after that, Cardan pulls my hand with some force to make me fall over him - *gasp* oh no, are you okay~? Guards! Your queen has had a little accident, we don't need help, but close the doors and notify the Council of our delay.

And that's how the doors close, leaving me isolated with dumb Cardan. It was obvious that he was going to do something like that, but I'm not going to give in, not that easily. I roll onto his chest so I can land on the other side of the bed and start to sit up to get out of bed.

-Cardan, these are no longer hours for your little games, we have to attend to our responsibilities.

-Come on Jude~ don't be boring, we need to relax, come here! - with a funny tone, Cardan gets up and grabs me by the hips to try to make me fall back on the bed. However, his touch just makes me jump and feel all my skin heat up as I blush.

-Kyaaaa~ - I stay for a few seconds lying next to Cardan looking at the ceiling while I try to assimilate the situation. Now I am grateful that the doors have been closed, it would have been even worse if the whole palace had heard the shrill shriek that I just let loose. When I look at the fairy, it seems that he has been looking at me for a while, with a soft blush and a look that contains both surprise and malice.

-Jude~ what just happened~? he asks raising an eyebrow and outlining his mischievous smile.

Shit.

-N~nothing, you just caught me off guard, just that-in a quick movement that I can't predict because of my nerves, Cardan climbs on my legs while he leans little by little over my face.

-Tsk~tsk~tsk~ we said no lies, my human Queen -he said remarking on the fact that I, as a human, can lie unlike him- And I know you well, I know that it's impossible for something to catch you off guard, and if it does, you don't react like that. No~ this time something happened, do you want to tell me by yourself~?

I move my burning face to one side so I don't keep looking into his jet-black eyes that I like so much. I think it's clear that he's figured it out. My body has always been very sensitive. When we were younger, my sisters would take advantage of that from time to time. If they didn't want to do something, they forced me to do it after doing... That. However, as the years passed and with our arrival at Elfhame, that game seemed more and more like children's, and as if that were not enough, because of my training with Madoc, it was more difficult to attack me and without wanting to, I tried to defend myself with more force than I wanted in reality, so they just stopped doing it. Now that Cardan has figured it out, I feel a chill run through my skin as my body begins to shake gently.

-Cardan, I already told you, I was simply distracted, besides... You touched my scar on my side! It still hurts you know? - I try to sound convincing even though I know that scar stopped hurting a long time ago. If there is something good about healing with earth magic, it is that in addition to being fast, it does not leave pain in the wounded place.

Cardan shoots a concerned look at my torso as he thinks about the possibility. However, his mischievous smile returns to his lips seconds later.

-Oh~ but my queen, I had thought that this pain no longer existed, I thought that you had already told me several nights before when I was holding your side, right?

I had forgotten that I had already told him. A new wave of shame washes over my body as I try to raise my hands to push him away from me.

-But now it has hurt me, okay? We are going to meet with the Council as soon as... -again, too distracted to anticipate his movements, his hands take my wrists and return them to their place against the bed. I think if my face gets any redder I might explode.

-You see, Jude, I'm really sorry, I don't believe you at all. So, I'm going to explain to you what I think is going on here.

Cardan begins to raise my hands above my head as I try to hide my heavy breathing. Although I try to force myself to lower them, I can't. Why? I've always managed to wriggle out of my sisters' grip ever since I started training. Why am I feeling so weak with him? As if that were not enough, this new weakness is accompanied by great nerves and a stupid smile that appears on my lips little by little despite the fact that I try to stop it.

-Jude, from your reactions, I'd say your big problem is~" Without giving me time to react, he grabs both of my wrists with one hand and uses the other to start moving his fingers in the air.

-Cardan! Don't even think about saying it! - I try to sound serious, but the smile on my lips doesn't allow it, and Cardan seems to be very amused.

- What, Jude? What can't I say? -he asks with a mischievous tone as he brings his hand to the bed near my side and starts scratching it slowly.

-You know what I'm talking about, let me go- I try to struggle again thanks to the new small forces that appear in me when I see his hand near my side.

-Mmmh~ I think I do know, but I'm not sure.

-Yes, you know.

-Not quite sure~

-Yes!

-I repeat that I'm not entirely sure Jude~

-You were going to say I'm ticklish! -after mentioning the forbidden word, I realize his ingenious trap. I also notice how my ears and neck are getting hot, I guess they've turned red too.

-Oh~ was that it? One of the possibilities I was thinking about was that maybe they had cast a spell on you, but of course, with Dain's geis, it's impossible for that to happen - he says with a mocking smile that reminds me how much I hate him - so, the fearsome and fierce Jude Duarte, is ticklish, huh~? I have to check that with my own hands!

His words make me feel ashamed, but I can't focus too much on that feeling because of his hand that lands on my side. I start to laugh between squeals, however, I can't enj-... The thing is, he's hurting me. Her fingers move too roughly and dig hard into my skin.

-Cardhahahahahahaha wait hahaha no, you hurt me!! -I recover the strength in my arms, with which I am able to release myself from his grip and take his hand with some force to stop him.

I caress the attacked area, feeling it slightly sore, and when I look at Cardan, my heart breaks a little. His eyes have turned slightly showing me a sad and worried expression. His tail, which before I could see moving quickly from side to side, slowly falls to the bed, curling around my leg gently.

-Did hurt you? But they're not supposed to do that, are they? I'm sorry Jude.

And of course my poor king doesn't know how they work. Having had a childhood with a mother who ignored him and siblings who barely paid attention to him, it is impossible for him to learn it on his own. Surely the little contact he has had with them has been just as violent as now.

- Well, of course they're not supposed to hurt, darling. You were just doing it too hard, look -I take the back of his hands to bring them over my belly- you just have to apply gentle pressure, with only that is ok, you can make it a little more intense, yes, but in that case you have to be careful. For now, just a gentle pressure, even walking your nails around here will make me laugh, I promise -I say amused as I smile at him.

With some insecurity, Cardan begins to press my belly and sides with all his fingers very gently. And because of my exaggerated sensitivity, I start to stir and laugh like a fool under his hands trying to avoid stopping them. His fingers begin to move slowly as they sink gently into my skin, and when he sees that there is no complaint on my part, they begin to move faster, but always maintaining their delicacy.

-Sehehehehe~? With this hahahahahahahahahahahaha~ this is enoughhahahaha~ -My constant giggles embarrass me and make me blush, and on Cardan, they seem to have the same effect.

His face is completely red, and a goofy grin begins to settle on his lips as he uncoils his tail and waves it gently again.

-Jude~- he calls me, stopping his hands by placing them on my side.

-Yes~? -I answer trying to relax my laughter and covering my face while I gasped softly.

-Why are you helping me? Before, you seemed determined to stop me - he asks with a funny smile.

That's when I realize what I'm doing. My face regains its reddish tones as I cover my face even more tightly. I was supposed to convince Cardan to go to the Council, not stick around and play with him. Damn looks. And I wasn't supposed to let him T...Tickle me, but I'm teaching him how to do it... I think there's no point in hiding it anymore, and I don't think I feel like hiding it anymore either. Covering half of my face with my arm as if covering my mouth to hide that these words do not come from me and looking away, I begin to speak.

-Well... You just seemed very discouraged when you did it wrong... I hate seeing you like this, it doesn't look good on you... Besides... I guess I... That I... I missed them - I feel my face warmed greatly after that confession.

When I return my eyes to Cardan I see him looking at me with some surprise, and then leaning next to me with a mocking smile but maintaining a certain tenderness while he began to play with my hair looking into my eyes.

-Let's see if it's clear to me~ Are you trying to tell me, Jude Duarte~ that you, the most dangerous queen in all of Fairieland, are not only weak to tickles but also like them~?

-God, Cardan, shut up, I know it's ridiculous -I decide to cover my face with both hands.

It's been a long time since Cardan made fun of me like he did before at school, with mischief and being hurtful, but , they were many years of bullying, so by reflex I'm prepared for him to start laughing at me. However, I am surprised when I feel both of his arms around my torso as he sets me on top of him and gently removes my hands from my face showing me a radiant smile.

-I don't think it's ridiculous, in fact, I think it's something really sweet of you, and it's a bit hard to find those things in you sometimes. I just discovered it and I think I'm already loving it~

I think that I am going to faint. I don't take very well the combination of a friendly Cardan and words as beautiful as the ones he just said to me, so my immediate reaction is to hide my face in his chest. And so the seconds go by, until I start to feel two fingers gently and slowly poking my sides. First one and then the other, first one and then the other. I try to ignore them, but it doesn't take too many repetitions for me to start moving from side to side trying to avoid them as a soft laughter escapes my lips.

-Wow~ you really like them~ you're not even asking me to stop~ - he says chuckling softly as he goes on to grab my sides and gently press them up and down.

-Cardhahahahahahahaha nohahahahahahahahahahahahaha~- I started to jump gently while moving, but at no time did I try to grab his hands, so I guess that's enough of a sign for him to continue.

-Not like that~? Wow~ I think you are wrong, my dear queen, you have entrusted a very dangerous secret to the High King of Elfhame, and I have no mercy~ - smiling mockingly without taking his eyes off my smiling face, he takes his hands to my armpits.

By reflex movement, I join my arms to my body as quickly as I can, but it's too late, now I have his hands locked against them, which soon move their fingers gently, making me scream again and move more roughly. I manage to get off Cardan and stay next to him, but he doesn't take long to follow me to stay over my legs.

-Nahahahahahahahahahaha Cardahahahhahan take them out of ahahahahahahahahah take them out of pffffft~ ahahahahahahahahahahaha~ - I start to gently kick the bed while I shake my head quickly.

Cardan's eyes shine brighter than ever, he has the expression and happy smile of a child who has been given a new toy that he loves and never plans to let go of.

-Oh~ Jude, I'd love to~ but, see~? I can't ~ you have me trapped under your arms, wait, I'm trying to get them out -with that, he increases the movements of his fingers beginning to gently scratch the skin of my armpits.

I throw my head back between more mad giggles as I try to squeeze as hard as I can to stop him from moving, but I don't quite succeed.

-Cardahahahahaha~ please hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha~

-Mmmmh ~ okay ~ then raise your arms and I promise to stop tickling you ~

-I dohohohon't believe yououhahhahha- NONONOAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA OK! OK! I'LL RAISHAHAHAHE THEEHHEHEHEM STOAHAHAHHAP~ - with a shriek as I feel his fingers move with a faster rithm, I raise my arms fighting the urge to let them down again.

Cardan keeps his promise, and moves his hands away from me to rest them on the sides of my body. As I try to calm my breathing between giggles, I see that fascinated look in Cardan's eyes again accompanied by a happy and sincere smile. All of this aggravates the blush on my face.

-You look beautiful when you laugh, you know that~? He confesses as he caresses my cheek with his hand.

-Shut up, idiot~...-I look away, but press my face into his hand. Who knew that I would ever end up longing for the touch of that cruel fairy's hands - you can't tell anyone about this.

-Sorry? Why would I do that? You are mine Jude, and I want to be the only one who can see you or make you feel the way I did today~-when he finished, he approaches my lips to kiss me affectionately, to which I respond with the same feeling.

After a few seconds, I gently push him away and look into his eyes as the blush on my cheeks fades little by little.

-They are waiting for us in the meeting room my dear king~ -I say getting up from the bed.

Cardan rolls his eyes exaggeratedly to make me laugh and lies face down next to me.

-Oh Jude~ why did I do all this~? You're still just as boring. I don't feel like going~

-Cardan, please, we have to do it.

I kow he is coming, he just likes to be coaxed. Then, I look on his tail, who comes dangerously close to my side to get under my nightgown and rub his thick lock at the end of it against my belly.

-Cardaahahahahahahaha stop that~ nohahahahahaha~ -I sit again trying to reach the tail and stop it.

-Come on~ stay with me to laze around, once is once~ you know you want to~

-Cardahahahahaha~ seriouslyhahahahahahahahaha stophahahaha no! -I manage to reach his tail and get it out of my clothes -come on, honey, please, I want us to do it together.

However, I stop my little plea as the last strategy to convince him. Why? Because I've heard it. I've heard the squeal that has drowned out in the pillow in which he has buried his face when I have started to play with his tail between my hands out of nerves.

-Oh~ what's wrong Cardan~? Don't tell me you too are~?

Silence. He doesn't answer, for a moment I worry, but then I realize it. I guess this is one of those many times where they'd rather keep quiet than tell the truth. With that, my confidence grows, and I sit on his behind as I watch his tail lock brizle gently.

-J~Jude, what are you up to~? he spoke with an uncertain tone as he raised his head from the pillow to look back.

-Oh ~ nothing ~ just return the favor ~ - With an evil smile, I throw my hands to his sides to quickly press them carefully.

-Judahahahahahahaha, whahahahait that's cheatinghahahahahahahahahaha~ - Cardan's laugher is beautiful. I love how he laughs habitually, but his uncontrolled laughter? It sounds melodious and kind, for a second you can forget that it is the great High King of Elfhame. I think I understand Cardan's goofy grin from earlier now, surely I must be putting on the same one right now.

-Wow~ wow~ wow~ just when I thought fairies couldn't surprise me anymore~ I find that the High King is ticklish~ how does that feel, mhm~?

-Don't say it hahahahahaha ~ don't say it hahahahahahahahaha~ - he laughed as he tried (without much effort) to reach my hands.

-Oh~ what's up~? Does it make you even more sensitive if I say so~? I decide to change my tactic and run my nails up and down his back. This time he jumps surprising even me- so soft touch is much worse than rough touch for you huh~? I will keep it in mind.

-Judehahahahahahahahahahaha noahahahahahaha get it out~ get it out of your mindhahahahahahahaha~

-Well~ maybe I will, but everything has a price. Will you come with me to meet with the Council~?

-Yeahhahahahahaha I'll go hahahahaha I promise to go hahahahahahahaha~

-Mmmmh~ fine, and~ will you take care of my tasks as queen for this week~? I ask as I change technique and gently peck her back with my nails.

-Yehehehhehehehes yeehhehehhes Whateverhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha~ -while he hops with each poke, I stop and lean over to kiss his cheek- I hate you~

-I hate you too~- I said amused as I went to change into the official queen clothes. As we change, Cardan doesn't say much, and he maintains a strange look along with a soft blush. I admit that it makes me worry a bit, but the change in his attitude towards the Council to return to being the same as always and do our royal duties, distract me and make me forget that look.

_____________________________________________

After the meeting with the Council, the audit with our subjects, meeting with the court of Shadows and the usual banquet, we return to our room. As I close the curtains while looking at the morning sun, I remember his look in the afternoon . I laid on the bed next to him as we both stared at the ceiling. He's unusually quiet.

-Today I don't know why, but I feel more tired than usual~

Without looking at me, he brings his tail close again to tickle my belly button. I cringe laughing and try to get his tail out.

-Maybe it's my fault~ - he says with a soft mocking tone.

-Don't start hehehehehahahaha~ -I manage to get his tail out and move it away- is it that you want me to attack you again like this afternoon~? - I say smiling mockingly looking at him.

-..... Maybe so -as a bright red takes over his cheeks, I begin to understand his looks.

-Mmh~ -without warning him, I sit on his hips and lean over him- but my king ~ don't have to behave badly to get that ~ although I don't care if you do it either. Just ask me, and I'll do it~ -I keep a soft mocking smile, but my eyes are sincere.

-Ugh, Jude, really~? - he complains, looking away from him as his tail hits the bed quickly.

-Very seriously Cardan~

-Tsk… Jude… Tickle me, please…

-At the command of the High King~

I think Cardan and I have found a new game to share together. I'm glad I told him about my secret~

#Tickling #Tickling story #Tickle community #the cruel prince #The folk of air #jude x cardan #This couple is the bessst #Jude and Cardan together are just so fluffy

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