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#I was baffled by the fact that there being two recordings both used the same Christian; me being mistaken then makes sense
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I was watching the Podalydès version of Cyrano de Bergerac this time from start to finish and... I'm so stupid xD
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sanakotsu · 2 years
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Romantic? Date Translation
Quantified Feelings of Love and Hate/Chapter 3
Warning: Incest is mentioned in this chapter. Don't take those lines out of context.
Writer: Akira Season: Winter Characters: Tatsumi, HiMERU
Translation: Sankotsu Proofread: @boozuru
Tatsumi: For some odd reason, whenever we attempt to even get close, they’d yell out, “Handsome men are coming closer, looking at them will destroy my eyes!” …Then they’d run away.
HiMERU: By the way, both Crazy:B and ALKALOID will appear as new characters in Love★Star.
It’s connected to a seasonal event they’ll add dedicated to Valentine’s Day.
Tatsumi: I see. Well as far I’m concerned, newcomers like us are grateful to be getting this much work.
HiMERU: We’re different though. Unlike you guys, it looks like ES doesn’t exactly like Crazy:B.
Tatsumi: No, it would be wise to exercise caution. Just when things seem to go well, you’ll be greeted by pitfalls you never saw coming.
HiMERU: Well look at you finally understanding what HiMERU is saying.
Tatsumi: What?
HiMERU: You’re wrong. If that were the case, then each unit would have been filmed separately.
The higher-ups of Love★Star had a demand for us, which is why we have to act in pairs.
We’ll have to act all lovey-dovey like the script tells us to.
Perhaps they wanted to do something new and use pairings between the two units rather than members from the same unit.
The first being “Rinne Amagi and Hiiro Amagi”
Tatsumi: Love between siblings… That sort of thing is taboo, it is forbidden by God.
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HiMERU: Next is “Kohaku Oukawa and Aira Shiratori”
Tatsumi: Those two are very good friends, which is completely different from a romantic relationship, right?
HiMERU: After that, it’s “Niki Shiina and Mayoi Ayase”
Tatsumi: Both of their names are in katakana!
HiMERU: Shut up! You don’t have to reply back every time! HiMERU is only talking to organize his thoughts properly!
Tatsumi: Fufu, I understand. My bad. ♪
HiMERU: ⸺Last but certaintly not least, the problem, “HiMERU and Tatsumi Kazehaya”
Tatsumi: I wonder if us being paired together had anything to do with the fact we’re both from Reimei Academy.
HiMERU: HiMERU isn’t sure of their plans. He can’t help but suspect that the higher-ups have evil desires with the pairings they decided.
Tatsumi: Desires?
HiMERU: There seems to be a select audience that will be happy to see their favorite idols getting along with each other.
Tatsumi: I, too, like seeing people I care about getting along. 
HiMERU: That’s not what HiMERU meant.
Anyway, everyone else besides us two have finished recording.
HiMERU feels regrettable that we are both “useless” with this job.
Tatsumi: Yes, you’re right. I’ve always tried to act like an amazing senior, but this seems to be a hurdle I can’t quite get past.
HiMERU: It’s not your fault, Tatsumi. Or rather, no, it is your fault for behaving so recklessly, but more importantly, there’s still a bigger problem at hand.
Filming will never end unless the producers are satisfied with our filming.
And regardless of how awful our acting is, as long as the producer likes it, it’s alright. Likewise, if they don’t like it, they’ll say it’s unusable.
For instance, our Shiina and ALKALOID's Ayase were terrible as well.
A hungry Shiina had endlessly chased around a crying Ayase or something like that. 
“That’s exactly what I was looking for!” is the kind of thing we should hear when we get it right first try.
Tatsumi: Fufu. The younger two* were just casually talking about sweets, but they were immediately told their take was good, right?
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Tatsumi: And yet, why can’t we get any good takes?
HiMERU: Perhaps we could figure out what the producers consider a good or a bad take and adapt to get the right shot. HiMERU doesn’t understand what their criteria for a good take even is.
It’s baffling. With the Amagi brothers, Crazy:B’s Amagi acted like he was actively trying to seduce your Amagi.
The producers didn’t like that sort of thing and the Amagis struggled to get an okay take as well.
Tatsumi: Yes, they really were struggling. The other two groups quickly left after their filming, and that left us with the Amagis. 
I encouraged Hiiro-san by jokingly challenging him, saying something like, “I wonder which one of us will get to leave first.”
HiMERU: They have a close relationship. But when they were talking during their break, the younger brother, drained from work he’s not used to, got closer to his older brother.
And were given the OK as soon as he started acting like a child who wished to be doted on by their older brother. It looks like that was what the producers were after.
Tatsumi: Fufu. The older brother was caught off guard and was taken aback. I wonder if that’s similar to the unusual public appearances the producers wanted to see.
If that’s the case, I really wish they would’ve said something, I don’t know what those producers are doing.
Everything is supposed to be surprising and unexpected but I still haven’t gotten used to your aggressive tone.
Himeru: …………
Tatsumi: As expected, we still can’t get the OK sign and that continues to be a problem. Perhaps I, too, should change how I speak and mimic the way Koga-san talks.
“Repent, you lowly heathens!”
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HiMERU: ⸺Who knows if doing anything unexpected would even work.
Tatsumi: Hmm. Asking the producers directly for what they want would be nice but…
For some odd reason, whenever we attempt to even get close, they’d yell out, “Handsome men are coming closer, looking at them will destroy my eyes!” …Then they’d run away.
HIMERU: HiMERU wondered what that was… How is an eccentric-like person in such a position of producer? Surely that goes to show how they’re more than capable in the game production field.
This truly is nothing but a nuisance. We have no choice but to take a shot in the dark. If we’re unlucky**, then our job will never be complete even if we had eternity.
❀ ꘎♡━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━♡꘎♡━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━♡꘎♡━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━♡꘎ ❀
*: "The younger two" refers to Kohaku and Aira. There's no appellation listed for Kohaku so I just wrote it as the younger two.
**: Unlucky as in they continuously fail at getting a good take.
➸ previous ❀ all ❀ next ❀
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rye-kin · 2 years
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Ok so. Musical is a bit of a mess to put it lightly. I am aware of that in the same way that I am aware that Russel Crowe as Javert is a bit of a mess. However I am a known enjoyer of things that are a bit of a mess.
Anyways. Part of where like recordings of the soundtrack fall flat is that the Broadway version that is our most accessible recording and most often preformed version makes Jekyll just. The wettest rat of a man, as in even when he's being a bitch, he's being played up as like. A dishrag. It's worst in Confrontation (the Complete Works version with Anthony Warlow is the one that trended on TikTok for a reason and that is because Jekyll doesn't sound like a sad cat reaction image) but even when he's going "Fuck these guys I'll just do it myself," he sounds like he'd be stopped by a stiff breeze. My humble opinion is that. This man is not in fact *that* level of pathetic. Like he's pathetic, just not. That pathetic. He's a man who lives on the bleeding edge of science and you don't do that if you are that level of made of tissue paper. The Complete Works is tonally a bit more unhinged but totals out to like two hours WITHOUT any of the spoken segments and a couple of the songs that are like! Good from the broadway version just don't hit quite right there! Honestly you could make a playlist slamming together songs from both versions and come away with something much more. Maybe not accurate per say, but probably more entertaining.
That is all that will be remotely coherent. This is the point where I explain a musical that I am sorry in advance if you've seen because Long Tangent. Closing out my proper J&H Musical Thoughts here, you are welcome to just Ignore the rest of this thing.
I am in fact "guy who watches musicals once, goes 'huh, neat,' and then starts grabbing songs for their home-grown blorbos" so I happen to have a collection of musical soundtracks (except Hamilton. I've self imposed a Hamilton ban because that's all there would be otherwise) to pull from just on hand ready to go. And I came to. Well, easily one of the conclusions ever because I was weighing between songs from J&H and Finding Neverland for a playlist. That is that, for Some reason, the latter half of Finding Neverland is like. The tonal opposite of J&H but starts coming close to the duality of man themes in similar ways.
This is mostly weird because Finding Neverland is a musical that is, in theory, based off of REAL MAN playwright James Barrie. The Peter Pan guy. The show is like a Marginally more fantastical Hamilton type of approach where you can tell that this is Not How These Things Happened In Real Life but in a way where it's like "Let's use our imagination together to get through the worst of life, as a Group!!" until RIGHT before you go to intermission where you get "Circus of your Mind" and "Live by the Hook". Circus of your Mind is like okay sure just the rising action higher tensions version of things happening in this dude's imagination, things are bad now, sure. Why not. "Live by the Hook" is directly after that and is where fictional character Captain Hook appears to introduce himself to James Barrie as "the part of you you don't like to talk about at tea parties" and tell him he needs to write a properly scary villain. Hook cameos in the background of like Multiple scenes in the rest of the play as a shadow (limited by Hook sharing an actor with another character for "Oh look the more intense part of him he doesn't like is the same as the guy putting financial pressure on him ohhh we're Cool and Smart" reasons) to be like? Motivating I guess? This is mostly weird as all hell because, again, this is ostensibly about a real guy?? Baffling choice here, up there with the romance plot existing at all (dude was ???? dude was something but not. The cheater who ditched his wife for a dying woman THAT's pretty sure).
The rest of the plays aren't all that similar but if you want same energy opposite directions for like. "Façade Reprise 1," and "Confrontation" then "All of London is Here," for the former and "Live by the Hook," and "Stronger" for the latter are sure out there I guess? If you need songs for a playlist where those are just too negative ig.
If you haven't listened to Finding Neverland it's pretty good if you approach it as not biographical, although I saw it live off Broadway first and I cannot, for the life of me, find the song that took the place of All of London in that version which has been driving me BATTY for like four years now.
That's the rant, I am sorry for inflicting this on you lol, ur design for Hyde is the fun sorta menacing which? Vibes!
Wow… Gawdamn
Though I really see we’re your coming from, this is so real and stands on its own…
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septembersghost · 1 year
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The review you recently posted about Harry's house is something I felt regarding 1989. I know lot of people here consider haylor as one sided love and other sided fling but I never felt that way. In almost all harry songs he seemed confident that she loves him. I can feel your heart inside mine, will you ever love me AGAIN(implying she loved him first time), even Him is like 'I know you love me you are pretending you dont. I don't think she would take him back so many times for 3 years straight don't think he would feel this way if she didn't do things that made him feel this sure.(this is a clear contrast to camille where he is aware he write too many songs about her). The fact that Taylor compared haylor to roschel(a relationship where both loved the other) and was petty enough to like a tweet calling him immature (after yacht kiss with kendall Jenner ) tells me that she definitely had something more than 'fun hookup' . Plus harry was only ex Calvin hated to the point where he blocked everyone with harry picture in profile (god he was a d*ckhead).
I feel like Taylor let us into her and harry's relationship in a polished way. Like she says the story in 'taylor swift ' way without putting taylor in it. Because there isn't a track that makes you feel like oh fuck! And in songs that are sad she disguises it with heavy production and makes a point of "hey he made the first move". Thus it comes across as unemotional or unimportant or 'she didnt love him' way.Like you said She made a perfect pop album but not a perfect Taylor album.
i've mentioned this, but i do think a factor in the misperception is that the fact that it was extended years of on again and off again isn't as widely known, so there's this idea that it was much shorter lived. what's strange to me is when i see comments saying there's no real love on 1989 itself, because it is very present and very much the pulse of the record to me, but it's a different *kind* of love than red was, or than joe is now. there tends to be this...dismissal? of the fact that we love different people in very different ways, romantically and otherwise, and no two relationships will be the same. the glossy polish of the album and some of it being kept at arm's length or wrapped in anxiety doesn't negate the emotion that is there, you know? we just have to search a bit more for its vulnerability. but the concept that it was one-sided or not real or impactful to her is baffling to me, and not something i knew fans even thought until recently! there's nothing that suggests to me that it didn't matter to her, it was so much of them feeling that connection but struggling to be on the same page at the same time. and i guess it's difficult to talk about because if we acknowledge it was meaningful, we get characterized as "shippers," which... 😵 they're real people, first and foremost, and we're not clamoring for them like a fictional couple, we're just looking at what did happen and what's been expressed in the music, and it's interesting primarily *because* we do have his side as response.
(i wasn't on twitter and i intensely disliked CH at the time, so i didn't see that firsthand, but my friend has told me about him blocking people over their icons and it's so ridiculously petty.)
but yes that's very much how 1989 feels, it's sparkly and a little disguised and genius in its production, but it's almost like the absence of some of the raw edge she's known for makes it feel slightly less emotionally present, and so much of that stemmed from her desire to pivot away from what came before. her classic hallmarks aren't as clear because that was the intent, creating that more tightly curated pop record. it's a great listen! it's just a little less revealing.
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sinner-as-saint · 3 years
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‘Till We Bleed Out - 2.
Vampire!bucky x reader AU
Part 2 of this series. 
Run-through: Your car breaks down on a deserted road on a rainy night. You have no other option but to seek shelter from the nearest house you could find; the mansion, which happened to be the talk of the town for its mysteriousness along with its equally mysterious owner, Mr. Barnes. The universe can be tricky sometimes but the fact that you found yourself at that mansion’s doorstep at that time was no simple coincidence. That one night changes everything forever - quite literally. True love, past lives and creatures from folklore; turns out it’s all real. 
Themes throughout the series: vampire!bucky, fluff, smut, angst 
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You woke up realizing that you had surprisingly fallen soundly asleep last night, after the strange dream about the handsome man; who was kind enough to let you take shelter from the storm in his home. 
Speaking of the storm, you got out of bed and walked over to the window, pulling the curtain aside. You noticed that the weather was even worse than last night. Heavy rain, and nonstop thunder. Although, it seemed like a very cozy day to just stay inside. You sigh with a soft smile on, perhaps you’d get to know more about Bucky today. 
You turned back around and noticed something you hadn’t last night. Roses on the nightstand, as red as blood and just as hauntingly beautiful. Your smile grew; there was something enchanting about red roses. A bunch of it looked like the embodiment of poetry and there was no other way you could explain it. 
You approached the flowers and inhaled their fresh scent. Oh how you loved them! How come you didn’t notice they were on the nightstand? Anyways, you walked into the bathroom and brushed, showered and were about to change into another pair of sweatpants when you noticed more clothes in the closets. A sundress caught your eye and you decided to wear it. It fit you perfectly. You twirled in front of the mirror, checking yourself out when Wanda walked into the room. 
“I see you’re up, Miss.” she smiled at you. And you noticed she had the same look in her eyes, like Bucky did. That of sadness, or helplessness. But you tried ignoring it. 
“Good morning.” You gave her your best smile and noticed how she took in your appearance. 
“You look lovely. Anyways, I came to let you know that breakfast is ready. Mr. Barnes is waiting for you downstairs in the dining room. Come down whenever you’re ready.”  
Wanda left and the brief mention of Bucky brought back the memories of last night’s dream. It was definitely weird that you had such an explicit dream about him, but the weirdest thing was that you were not feeling the slightest bit guilty about it. 
You took a deep breath and stepped out of the room. You made your way downstairs, leisurely. Taking in more of the décor and the paintings on the wall. These must have cost a fortune, you thought. 
You found Bucky in the dining room, sitting at one of the ends of the large table. You had to admit, even the furniture in this house seemed pricey. Bucky set the newspaper down upon seeing you. He let his eyes roam your frame quickly and his smile broadened. “You look lovely,” he commented. 
You smiled, just a little shy and whispered a ‘thank you’. As you took a seat on his left, he spoke again. “The storm intensified. Looks like you’re not going home today.” he said with a genuine smile. You began to oppose naturally but he insisted. “You’ll be safe here.” 
You agreed. You picked a few food items from the large trays and took a few bites while Bucky got back to his newspaper. The silence was comfortable, the two of you seemed perfectly alright with sharing the space without feeling the need to fill the void with any conversation. It felt like this was part of your routine almost. 
You sipped on coffee and discreetly lifted your eyes to look at Bucky. He munched on a piece of fruit while focusing on some article in the papers. His body language made him look like an older man; eating while reading his newspaper. But his face didn’t look a day over 35. The contrast made you giggle and that caught his attention. 
He turned to face you with a raised eyebrow. “Something funny, miss?” he sounded like he was teasing you, politely. 
You shook your head and set your cup down, and upon doing so you noticed the red roses in a vase in front of you, again. The sudden urge to ask a question took over you, “Your wife, did she like red roses?” 
“They were her favorite.” He seemed unfazed by your sudden curiosity. 
“What was she like?” you asked again and the smitten smile on his face gave away how much he loved her. Love like this was rare, and you felt just a little envious of the late woman. She was so lucky, you hoped she knew. 
“Like the answer to all my prayers. Beautiful. Every little thing about her was so, so beautiful. She was kind, smart and funny, and fierce. She made me a better man. She was delightful.” You noticed he looked you right in the eyes as he spoke. His answer gave away that he worshipped that woman. 
“I hope she knew how much you love her.” 
He gave you that soft smile again. “I made sure to remind her every single day.” 
-
You never knew rainy days could be so lovely. After breakfast Bucky offered to show you his library because of course he owned one. And you had the time of your life just walking around and running your fingers over some of your favorite books. 
You noticed red roses on the coffee table as well, by the couches in his study room/library. While reaching for a copy of Pride and Prejudice, your hand brushed with his and your whole body felt like it was electrified. You pulled away sheepishly, but he held it up to you and you took it with a smile, admiring the front cover. 
“Your favorite?” he asked. 
You nodded, excitedly. He let out a little laugh. “You can have this one. I have plenty of other copies.” 
You smiled so big your cheeks hurt. “Thank you, Buck.” you were so excited that you walked past him, hungry to explore the other side of his library - without realizing what you just called him. 
Meanwhile Bucky was both surprised and elated. Buck… no one called him that except for-
“What’s in there?” he heard your voice and turned around immediately. You were pointing at the partially hidden door at the end of the room. “That’s where you hide all your secrets?” you teased, using the same tone he did this morning. 
He laughed and nodded. “Yes, you caught me.” 
You two shared a laugh and then he insisted that you should see the piano room. You agreed and just as everything else in the house, the grand room was equally as breathtaking. White couches, brown pillows, plants, full of light even with the stormy weather and a large balcony adjoined to it. Perfect. 
“It’s beautiful,” you said as you admired the room. You could hear the heavy rain hitting the window panes, it was comforting. You noticed the well-maintained piano right by the door which led to the balcony, “Do you play?” you asked and he gave you a dramatic look which gave away that you had just bruised his ego. 
“Miss Y/N, how dare you question my skills?” He answered with a smile on, then proceeded to play the most melodic tune you had ever heard. You weren’t much of a musical person, but you knew a melancholic tune when you heard one. It was, as most things in this house, hauntingly beautiful. Even the music carried a sense of nostalgia, and homesickness. 
You closed your eyes for a moment, getting lost in the music which filled the room effortlessly. Familiar, very familiar. Then it hit you - this was the same song being played at that ball in your dream. You opened your eyes immediately, baffled at the weird coincidences taking place lately. 
You found yourself gravitating towards the bench, and eventually you sat beside Bucky. He looked at you for a brief moment, then resumed playing somewhat of a softer tune. You smiled at him and suddenly it all felt like a déjà-vu. Like you’ve lived this exact moment a hundred times before. Sitting next to him, your elbows brushing, him looking at you lovingly, yet with sad eyes. His cologne, the slight gray in his eyes, the weather - it felt like a forgotten dream was coming back to you. 
You had to find something to say otherwise you felt like you were about to lose your mind. “You said you worked all day everyday. So is today your day off?” you tried to lighten the mood. 
He let out a little laugh. “Like I said, I rarely get visitors. I’m just making the most out of your company.” 
He was drop dead gorgeous, and he could make your heart race with just a few simple words. A dangerous combination really. 
He kept playing as you walked around the room, taking in every little detail. This was the only room in the house which had white roses in the vase, instead of dark red ones. Well, the white ones matched the interior better here. Your gaze fell upon something interesting next. 
“Vinyl records?” that seemed to catch his undivided attention as he stopped playing and turned to you. 
“Oh yes. It was one of my… old hobbies.” He answered. 
You giggled. “You say old hobbies like you are over a hundred years old.” 
He chuckled and got up from the bench. He walked over to where the records were kept, picked one out and carefully placed it down on the record player. A soothing tune filled the room again. Much lighter and happier than the piano earlier. A stark contrast to the gloomy weather but it still, somehow, fit perfectly. 
Bucky extended his arm out in front of you, out of nowhere. “Dance with me.” 
You didn’t hesitate for a single and took his hand immediately. Bucky held you close; his hand at your waist pressing your body to his gently. His other hand held yours delicately. Your arm placed over his shoulder as you stared into his deep, piercing eyes. And just like that, you two swayed slowly to the sweet, slow music. Effortlessly, gracefully and without any awkwardness or hesitation. Almost like you’ve danced a thousand times before. 
You giggled as he twirled you around and pulled you closer almost immediately. And when you looked back up into his eyes, it felt like a déjà-vu again. Only this time, you knew where you had experienced something similar to this - in your dream last night. The ballroom, the gown, the way you danced. Just like this. 
Your body tensed up and you weren’t blinking, Bucky caught the change in your behavior. “Don’t think about it.” he murmured. 
“About what?” you used a much softer tone as well. You and him were so close you could whisper and you were sure he would hear you perfectly. 
“Whatever it is you’re thinking about.” He spoke as he swayed you gently. “You’re here, with me. I don’t want you to think about anything else.” It sounded more like a plea than a request. There was something else he was trying to say; inexplicable, hidden in between the lines. Somehow you caught it. 
You nodded. “I’m here.” You spoke without paying much attention to what you were saying or doing. “With you.” All that mattered in the world right now was that you were in his embrace. His ocean blue eyes were the only thing you could make sense of. 
You felt it then. The warmth, despite his cold hands. The sparks flying around, despite the dark and gloomy weather outside. He started leaning in and you met him halfway. 
His hand moved up to gently cup your face. His lips brushed against yours briefly as he paused and waited to see if you would pull away. Seeing you didn’t, he pressed his lips to yours. You shivered at how delicately he caressed your cheek with his thumb. Kissing him felt natural. Like a habit. His lips were soft and familiar. He tightened his grip around your waist, pulling you closer. 
Your hands instinctively slid into his hair, he moaned under his breath as you tugged on it gently.  Bucky tilted his head to the side and deepened the kiss, nibbling on your lips and gently stroking your lower lip with his tongue. You felt giddy and warm. And safe. 
He pulled away just a second before Wanda stepped into the room. “Dinner’s ready.” 
Bucky told her you two would be downstairs in a minute and you caught that look on her face. A look of pure joy and satisfaction. You didn’t understand why. 
When Wanda left, you faced Bucky again, now just a little nervous. “I.. I didn’t-,” 
He silenced you by gently holding your chin in between his fingers. “Shh sweetheart.” His gaze spoke volumes; he was perfectly alright with this kiss. “We should go downstairs.” 
Dinner was perfect. Lovely conversation, lovely wine, the same stormy weather outside but inside Bucky’s home; all was well. He told you that you were more than welcome to use his library if you wished to do some light reading before bed. You agreed. 
You grabbed a book and curled up on one of the couches and he did the same, sitting right across you. You found yourself re-reading the same sentence over and over again because you couldn’t focus. Not when you could physically feel his eyes on you. You even caught him staring a few times and giggled whenever he seemed flustered after being caught. 
There was ease between you two. And the next two hours went by comfortably. 
“It’s late, I should go to bed.” You spoke as you stood up. He did as well, and when you looked into his eyes you began wishing that this storm outside lasts forever. 
“Goodnight, sweetheart.” He whispered, leaning in and kissing you at the side of your mouth. 
“Goodnight.” 
-
You tossed and turned in bed. Somehow, falling asleep was a little harder today because you couldn’t help but think about how it felt when Bucky kissed you earlier. The sound of the harsh storm echoed inside the house, but it was still comforting. 
The loud roar of the thunder was the last thing you heard before drifting off to sleep; dreaming again, this time of red roses, blue eyes, balconies and paintings… 
Arms wrapped around you from behind, embracing you in a tight hug. “Do you like it, my love?” the silky smooth voice asked. You looked down and you smiled at the sight of the wedding band on his finger. 
“I love it.” You looked up at the frame hung on the wall. It was a painting of you and your husband, delivered to you that morning itself. “We’ll keep it here forever.” 
You heard a soft chuckle, then felt a pair of lips kissing your neck softly. “Even longer.” 
You turned around and came face to face with Bucky, with slightly longer hair, tied in a low, neat ponytail. Behind him was a very familiar door. You leaned in and pressed a kiss to his lips. “We should get going, else we’ll be late.” 
The surroundings faded, and you were now inside a dimly lit ballroom. The grand chandelier was mesmerizing, but not more than your husband’s eyes. He was gorgeous, your man; even with half his face covered by the masquerade mask he was still perfectly able to take your breath away. 
He smirked, as though able to read your thoughts. He leaned in, and the rest of your surroundings was suddenly a blur. “Do you wish for us to go somewhere more private, sweetheart?” He whispered in your ear. 
You bit your lip and nodded, only then realizing that you were wearing a mask as well. Bucky smiled, tugging on your hand and dragging you along to wherever it is he was taking you. 
The room around you morphed again and you found yourself running up a staircase with Bucky, giggling and holding onto each other for dear life until you finally made it to the top. You found yourself on a balcony. 
“Where are we?” you asked. 
Bucky stepped closer, pushing you gently against the balustrade. “Home.” He leaned in and kissed you. His mouth moved against yours gently, passionately. His hands were on either side of your waist as he pressed you further into him. Your hands instinctively went to his neck as you gently pulled him closer.
As you closed your eyes and cherished his touch, an image of the painting from earlier flashed in front of your eyes. But you forgot it just as quickly as it came because Bucky’s touch took over all your senses. His hand slipped under your dress, and went right to your wet core. 
You giggled into the kiss as his knuckles brushed faintly against your core and you moaned at his touch. He cupped you in between the legs and the palm of his hand pressed against your throbbing clit. His mere touch was driving you insane. His lips left yours and he kissed his way to your neck; sharp teeth nipping at your skin. At the feel of it, your own canines sharpened out of nowhere. 
Surprisingly, it didn’t feel like it was the first time that it happened. You seemed comfortable with the sudden change. 
Bucky kissed all the spots which made you weak in the knees; he knew your body by heart it seemed. While he kissed your skin, his fingers moved slightly against your dripping core. You moaned, tugging on his hair just a little. 
“Be quiet for me, sweetheart.” he mumbled against your skin as he slipped two fingers past your folds. He curled his fingers inside you immediately, and stroked your walls gently. You moved your hips against his hand as you chased your orgasm. His thumb rubbed your swollen clit furiously as you bit your lip to keep you from moaning. 
“Buck…” you were breathless, each nerve ending on fire as pleasure washed over you. 
“Shh sweetheart,” he quickened his actions and slipped his fingers in and out of you incessantly until he felt your walls clench around him. “Cum for me,” he whispered. You moaned, biting your lower lip as you came all over his hand. 
Once you recovered, he pulled your dress up, making it bunch around your waist as he stepped in between your legs again; kissing you like his life depended on it. He undid his pants and hoisted you up his own body. You wrapped your legs around his waist quickly for better balance and he leaned the two of you against the balustrade once again. 
You felt his hard cock pressing against your skin as he kissed you hungrily. His hand dipped in between the two of you and he guided the tip of his erected cock over to your dripping entrance. The brief friction caused you to moan into his mouth. 
“Be quiet for me, yes?” he spoke against your lips, almost as breathless as you were. You nodded frantically. And with that, he pushed himself inside you quickly. You felt all of him once he was completely buried in you. His cock twitched inside you and you bit your lip to prevent a moan from escaping your lips.
He held your hips, and your hands gripped his shoulders desperately as you tried to keep your voice down. You pushed your face into the crook of his neck, nibbling on his skin with your sharp fangs as he rocked in and out of you. You moaned quietly against his skin as his throbbing cock sped up into you. He pounded into you relentlessly, earning more and more moans and gasps out of you. 
He growled when he felt you clench around him. “Bucky…” you moaned and he immediately placed his lips on yours to stop you from making more noise. He loved how you lost control under his touch. He loved the sound of his name leaving your lips. 
“Shh, sweetheart. Quiet,” he mumbled against your lips as he felt your walls milking him perfectly. “We can’t get caught fucking in our own balcony while we were supposed to be hosting a party downstairs.” He ended with a chuckle. 
You whined. “Well if you weren’t so insatiable,” you teased. He scoffed, holding you at the curve of your ass, hands under your dress as he occasionally squeezed your butt cheeks, making you giggle and moan at the same time. 
“Says the one who lures me in like a seductress every moment of every day,” he sassed back. He slammed into you relentlessly while you tried your hardest to not to scream out loud. You felt a pressure building between your hips, and it seemed like he felt it as well because he dipped his head into the crook of your neck and swore under his breath as he sped up again. 
Your thoughts became cloudy, and all that you could focus on in that moment was the force of his thrust. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as you found yourself unable to form proper thoughts. Your clit rubbed against his pelvic bone each time he filled you up.
Your body moved along with his like a rag doll as you could no longer keep up with his thrust. Soon, you felt the warmth taking over. And a familiar tingle went down your spine as your walls clenched around him. You gushed out all over his cock with a loud moan… 
 You woke up gasping, shocked that you had dreamt such explicit dreams two nights in a row now. You looked around and realized that it was still night time. You could still replay the dream in your head like a vivid memory. You closed your eyes and took deep breaths. 
The painting. 
The painting seemed so real, so detailed. You wondered if- 
Wait, that door you dreamt of. You’ve seen it before, haven’t you? Large, dark wood with beautifully detailed carvings on it, golden doorknob… 
You gasped again. It was the door in the library. Your heart raced. Could it be… ? 
You didn’t think twice before getting out of bed, grabbing the robe Wanda had left you earlier you stepped out of the room. Your breaths got shallower and shallower as you reached the library. 
It could very well be just a weird dream, right? You jumped at the sound of the thunder, and realized that you were already inside the library. You stared at the door. This was the exact one you dreamt of. 
Fuck it. You walked towards it, blocking out any thoughts which told you to turn back around and get back in bed. You twisted the doorknob and it was unlocked. You pushed the door open, stepping inside you found a secret room. About the same size of the library, or maybe slightly more spacious. 
It looked like a more modern and luxurious version of a drawing room. With the usual, couches, carpets and… and paintings. For a moment you almost didn’t want to find it. You didn’t want to find that painting of you and Bucky; which you had just dreamt of because if or when you do, what then? 
You looked around, the light from the two chandeliers illuminating the room just right. There were regular paintings one would find in an expensive mansion like this one; views of countryside, mountains, rivers. There were some paintings of people you couldn’t recognize but you knew, deep inside, that they seemed familiar. 
You almost let out a sigh of relief when you didn’t find the painting from your dream. 
Almost. 
But then you saw it. The largest frame in the room. Right above the golden fireplace, mounted on the wall perfectly straight and right in the center of the room. 
It was the painting you dreamt of. The one of you and Bucky. 
“What the hell?” you whispered as you approached the fireplace, craning your head up to look at the oddly familiar painting. 
You two seemed so happy. You were in a rose gold gown, and Bucky was well-dressed in navy blue. A lovely moment in time, captured in a beautiful painting. You weren’t quite sure what to think as you looked at yourself in the painting. 
Your eyes instinctively trailed down to the bottom on the frame. And in cursive black painted were written the words which gave you goosebumps: ‘Mr. & Mrs. Barnes. 1872.’ 
“What the hell?” you repeated. 
This time you heard a voice speak up, from behind you. “You should be in bed, sweetheart.” He said softly. 
You turned around and found Bucky leaning against the door frame, his arms crossed and a look on his face which you couldn’t quite decipher. You turned to look back at the painting, and then back at him again. He hadn’t aged since 1872 it seemed. 
Your heart raced again. 
It couldn’t be… could it? 
846 notes · View notes
honeypiehotchner · 3 years
Text
Looking Too Closely (Bucky x Stark!Fem!Reader) — part two
I’m backkk so sorry this took forever, my idiot/goblin brain wanted to hold onto this part for longer?? Anywho
Summary: The one in which you meet Bucky Barnes for the first time. Also the one in which you want to ram Tony Stark’s skull into the wall.
Warnings: angst, mentions of past violence, mentions of death, Tony is still pretty douchey (I know y’all don’t wanna hear this but he is a giant asshole 99% of the time)
Series Masterlist
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You can’t sleep.
It doesn’t help that you haven’t had a real bed to sleep in — let alone one that has memory foam or whatever the hell that is on this mattress — for some time now. But the Tower is too quiet.
You can’t open your window and Tony must have the place basically sound-proofed because you can’t hear any of the city sounds that you’re used to. The late night traffic, the sirens, the footsteps, the voices, the fights, the snoring. You’re alone in here and it’s eating you alive.
You’re still wearing Wanda’s clothes. Pepper said she’d let you pick out some clothes today and they could be delivered. She offered to go shopping somewhere with you, but you don’t want anything fancy. You’ve never even been to a mall, not to shop, so that idea alone felt too much.
Grabbing a pillow from the bed, you move to the floor in front of the window. Laying on your stomach, you rest your elbows on the pillow, staring out at the city lights.
After some time, you give in and lay your head down, hoping it’ll bring sleep around. Luckily for you, it does.
Unluckily for you, sleeping on your stomach on the hard floor has your ribs feeling properly bruised by the time the sun rises. You roll over onto your back, letting your shoulder blades take the weight for the next couple hours.
By the time late morning rolls around, you open your eyes, feeling exhausted. Restless sleep is the only kind of sleep you know.
Dragging yourself off the floor, you head to the bathroom to brush your teeth. You’re not used to having one, but you’ll gladly use the toothbrush here. That’s one thing you missed more than the others while you were homeless.
You exit the bathroom and head out into the hall, down to the living area and kitchen. It’s quiet, so you figure everyone is gone or out.
You’re busy climbing on the counter to look in the top cabinet when you hear footsteps on the hall, but they’re sort of far away, or they sound muffled like they’re a distance away. You halt your movements for good measure of listening, and you definitely feel like someone is down the hall.
But, your stomach growls, so you go back to rummaging through the cabinet.
The person you sensed steps around the corner into the kitchen and freezes. He has no idea who you are, but you’re standing on top of the counter, and that’s when he realizes you’re standing on top of the counter.
This is around the same moment that you vaguely sense the same presence from the hall behind you, and you jump when you see someone is actually standing there.
He is next to the counter in a split second, holding his Vibranium arm out in case you fall. “What the hell are you doing?”
“Trying to get cereal, what the fuck does it look like?”
“It looked like you were about to fall on your ass.”
“Lucky me, I didn’t,” you snort, resisting the urge to kick his face. He’s at the perfect height for you to do it, too. “Who the hell are you?”
“Bucky,” he answers. “Who the hell are you?” He fires back.
“Y/N,” you reply, turning to go back to looking in the cabinet. It’s mostly random things, nothing you particularly care to eat. “Do you know where everyone is?”
Bucky leans back against the opposite counter, arms crossed over his chest. “Probably asleep. We just got back an hour ago.”
You hum. Right, Tony said a few of them were out. “Then why aren’t you sleeping?”
“Don’t want to mess up my schedule.”
“Hm.” You smell bullshit.
“What?”
“Nothing,” you huff, closing the cabinet and hopping down. “Nice to meet you.”
“You too.”
As you’re making your way toward the hall, you’re stopped by Tony’s voice.
“Munchkin. Get back here. You and I have some things to discuss.”
You spin around. “What now?”
“What now is right,” Tony deadpans. “Come on. My office. And Barnes, go the fuck to sleep for once.”
Bucky snorts, flipping Tony off, but only you saw it. You grinned, mouthing thank you.
Bucky smiled boyishly in return.
+++
Tony conveniently waits until his office door has shut before he starts in on the questions.
“When did your mother pass away?”
“A month ago,” you reply slowly, really too exhausted to deal with this or Tony right now. “Why are you asking that?”
“Because I wanted to see if you’d continue to lie to me, and you have.”
“What are you talking about?” You gathered that he was a pain in the ass, but delusional, too? Jesus.
“She didn’t pass away a month ago. Her funeral was a month ago.”
“Okay? And? What the hell does it matter?”
“The funeral was delayed because the police think you killed her.”
Fuck. He found out. “Well I didn’t.”
Tony looks ready to scream at you. “So you knew there was a warrant out for your arrest?”
“Well, yes, but—” This time Tony does cut you off by a million cuss words, but you continue over top of him. “I thought they gave up!”
“You knew they were looking for you and you walked in here instead. I should turn you in right now. In fact, I don’t know why I haven’t called the police yet.” He’s waving his arms wildly, no doubt trying to control his anger at the absurdity of this situation.
You cross your arms over your chest. “They have no proof.”
“Clearly they have something or there wouldn’t be a warrant.”
“They don’t have shit, Tony. I wasn’t even near my house when it went up in flames, alright? I was a mile away.”
“Where? Where were you?”
“At a gas station.”
“What were you doing there?”
“Are you interrogating me?” Is he recording this? Your eyes search briefly for cameras before you remember he’s a tech genius, so his cameras are probably hidden.
“I’m just trying to get to the bottom of why you have a warrant and why you decided to waltz in here. Do you know how much trouble this could get me in?”
“I’m sure you could pay your way out of it.”
“Hey,” he snaps his fingers at you, “I’m being serious.”
“Me too,” you snap your fingers back at him, too fed up with him to care, “Mr. Billionaire.”
The two of you stare at one another, unblinking, unflinching, anger seeping through your skin. Tony has realized quickly that no matter how hard he pushes your buttons, you’ll push his right back, just as much if not more.
Maybe you are his.
“I’ll ask one more time,” Tony starts. “Did you start that fire?”
“I was too busy getting stabbed to start a fucking fire, okay?”
This has Tony reeling in shock instead of anger. “Stabbed? Are you fucking nuts? What do you mean you were getting stabbed?”
“I mean I was getting stabbed. What else do you think that means?”
Tony sighs tiredly, frustration making him clench his jaw. “Where?”
You gesture to your abdomen. “Just in a couple places.”
Tony’s eyes widen. “A couple— Alright, you know what, we can finish this later, because right now,” he points his index finger at you, “you need to get to MedBay.”
“What?”
“Yeah, that’s the thing about getting stabbed, munchkin. It can cause internal damage. And if you never went to the hospital—”
“I stitched myself up, it was fine—”
“Uh-uh, shut it,” he snaps. “Come on. Come with me.”
+++
You run into Bucky once again when you get off the elevator at MedBay. He’s talking with Steve who is checking on Natasha who is a little bruised, and all three of their heads turn when they see you dragging your feet behind Tony.
Bucky gives you a questioning look while Steve and Natasha look plain confused, both having not met you until now.
“FRIDAY,” Tony calls out. “I need a full body scan on Y/N.”
“Yes, Mr. Stark.”
You roll your eyes as Tony gestures you into a room. You can still see everyone through the glass walls as you step on a small circle in the floor, presuming it’s where you need to stand for the scan.
Steve asks the million dollar question. “What’s going on?”
“Got stabbed,” you reply with a shrug, making Tony’s blood boil even faster.
Natasha snorts at your nonchalance, Steve gives Tony a baffled look, but Bucky seems weirdly concerned. “You what?”
“It was a long time ago,” you tell Bucky.
“No, it was a few months ago. And she never went to a hospital,” Tony adds, right as FRIDAY finishes the scan. “What have we got FRIDAY?”
“Evidence of internal bleeding that has since stopped, but nothing else. Everything has healed properly.”
“Well thank god for that,” Tony deadpans.
You nearly flip him off right there, but you settle on a glare. “Are you done?”
“Yes,” Tony says. “But we’re not done.”
“For fuck’s sake, I did not start the fire!”
“Oh no, I believe you there,” Tony says. “I wanna know who stabbed you.”
“Some random idiots,” you shrug, walking out of the room and past Tony, back toward Steve, Natasha, and Bucky. “Leave me the hell alone about it. Goddamn.”
Tony lets you walk this time, watching you storm off toward the elevator. Meanwhile, he has two super soldiers and a spy staring at him like they just found out his darkest secret.
“So...that’s Y/N,” Natasha comments. “She’s got fire.”
“She’s also got an attitude,” Tony retorts.
“It’s just like yours,” Steve fires back, raising an eyebrow.
Tony ignores him.
“Here’s my question,” Natasha says. “If she was stabbed that many times in that many places— How did it heal? That’s not normal.” And when Tony gives her a confused look, she adds, “You know what I mean.”
“Wait,” Steve catches on. “You don’t think she’s…” He looks over at Bucky.
“She knew I was standing behind the wall earlier,” Bucky says, a realization crossing his face. “She could sense me. I heard her, but I was too far away for any normal person to hear me.”
“Okay, let’s not jump to these conclusions right now,” Tony interjects. “It’s bad enough she has an arrest warrant and a habit of getting stabbed. I don’t need to worry about her being like you two knuckleheads.”
“It’s still worth looking into,” Natasha comments.
“Yeah,” Steve agrees. “We need to know if she is, Tony.”
“Well right now, she’s being a hormonal teenager, so I don’t think I’ll be able to ask her about it,” Tony deadpans.
“She just lost her mom,” Bucky says, remembering when Steve told him, and his heart broke for you. “Give her a break.”
“If you want to talk to her Barnes, go right ahead.”
“I might,” Bucky retorts, already heading toward the exit so he can find where you went. “Just to apologize for your attitude.”
+++
It takes Bucky a full ten minutes of searching for you before he remembers he can just ask FRIDAY.
“She’s currently in her room, James, but it is on Do Not Disturb.”
“Can you override that for me?” Bucky asks the AI.
“One moment.”
Bucky has no idea why FRIDAY needs a moment, but he waits. He’s in the living area so your room is just down the hall, but knocking does no good when Do Not Disturb is live. He knows because he uses it every night. No sound gets in or out.
“Do Not Disturb overridden by Tony Stark.”
Bucky rolls his eyes. Of course.
He heads down the hall to knock on your door, but you don’t respond. Because of the circumstances, Bucky goes against his better judgement and opens your door.
He’s met with a pillow hitting his chest.
“Oh,” you say immediately after. Bucky is surprised to find you sitting on the floor in front of the window, facing the city skies with a blanket over your shoulders. “Sorry. FRIDAY said Tony overrode it so I thought it was him.”
“Nope, just me,” Bucky replies, holding out his hands. He reaches down and grabs the pillow, tossing it back on your bed. “What are you doing down there?”
“Looking,” you shrug, turning back around to face the city.
“Can I join you?”
“Sure.”
Bucky shuts the door. “FRIDAY, put Do Not Disturb back up please.”
“Of course, James. Do Not Disturb is now active.”
“It’s really weird,” you say. “Having an AI in this place. Doesn’t it creep you out?”
Bucky lets out a laugh when he kneels to the floor to sit a little distance away from you, putting his back to the window. “There’s a lot of tech I don’t understand. I kinda had to get used to it quick when I was in Wakanda, though, so nothing phases me anymore.”
“Right, you were...gone for a while,” you pause, not knowing how to approach the subject. “You and Steve both were, right?”
He nods. “Steve was frozen, I was brainwashed.”
He says it so bluntly that you don’t know how to respond at all.
“I’m not anymore,” Bucky continues. “But I did a lot that I’m not proud of. And I was framed for something I didn’t do.”
You half-hum, half-scoff at that. “So you know what it’s like.”
Bucky nods, leaning his head back against the window. “I do.”
“Who were you brainwashed by again?”
“HYDRA,” Bucky replies, tensing a little. “Why?”
“Just curious,” you shrug. “The name sounds familiar, though.”
Bucky lifts his head from the window. “How familiar?”
You shake your head, unsure. “I dunno. It was all over the news, though, right? That’s probably why.”
“Yeah, probably,” Bucky replies slowly. “Can I ask you something?”
“Shoot.” You bring your knees up to your chest, hugging them.
“Do you know why you were stabbed?”
You don’t move a single muscle. You don’t even blink.
“Tony was an asshole,” Bucky says. “He shouldn’t force you to talk about something that recent.”
“Yeah.”
“But if you do ever wanna talk about it,” Bucky pauses, “I’m here. No pressure, though. I get it.”
You nod slowly, watching him from your peripheral vision. “Thanks.”
“You’re welcome.”
“Just not right now,” you continue, surprising yourself and Bucky. “Maybe later.”
“Whenever you want,” he shrugs. “I’ll give you some space, though. Do you uh...want your pillow back?”
You perk up a little. “Yeah, thanks. If you don’t mind.”
Bucky pushes himself to his feet, walking over to the bed to grab your pillow. He tosses it back to you gently.
You smile softly and hug it to your chest, but Bucky knows that once he leaves, you’ll lay down and sleep, right there in front of the window. Because your bed must be too soft.
He gets it. His is, too.
291 notes · View notes
xiyao-feels · 3 years
Text
Finally got around to writing down some thoughts on the differences between Empathy and the original—per scene and then a general reflection.
Episode 10
(episode 10 differences)
Going through this chronologically, our first comparison is the captain encounter. Honestly I think NMJ was straight-up inventing most of this—even aside from the sheer absurdity of MY, what, smuggling XY out of prison, bringing him into the middle of everything (he runs into the Captain and friend AND WWX!), XY…just going back into prison…well, anyway, putting all that aside—the Captain's questions here seem like NMJ's preoccupations, not the Captain's. The Captain is hugely contemptuous of MY, but he's not, like, obsessed with his innermost heart, you know? "You're lying! I just saw that. You were talking. Tell me honestly. What's your ulterior motive?"—that's NMJ, not the Captain at all. Plus there's the way the Captain grabs MY basically the exact same way NMJ does. 
Next up there's MY telling NHS he's going to go check on XY—minor phrasing differences aside, one thing that's interesting is we don't get all of MY's reaction/decision before he tells NHS in Empathy, just the tail end:
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Ahhhh, now, the bit where NMJ sees MY stab the captain! You can see here the beginning of a pattern of Empathy erasing the Wen. MY throwing himself in front of the blade to save NMJ is removed, of course, but so is NMJ fighting WZL, as he was before going to the prison in episode 10; in the Empathy he's just kind of standing there. And then sees MY, uh, creepily pick up a sword??? And follows him??? Instead of hearing that XY's escaped and running to the prison because of that, which is of course what happened in episode 10. (So XY is erased some in this scene, too; even when it comes to MY's excuses, he says It wasn't me, but we don't get to 'Xue Yang killed him', as we do in the original.)
Some other points of interest here… Of course the expression NMJ sees on MY as MY kills the captain is only shown in Empathy. Interestingly, also, while MY is quite clearly terrified at NMJ's approach in both, in episode 10 it's presented immediately, while in the Empathy he has a beat before he starts reacting that way.
The last scene—NMJ confronting MY and kicking him out of Qinghe. In the Empathy, we start with MY having been thrown onto the floor, rolling—but this isn't there in episode 10, and to be honest I think it probably didn't actually happen. First, while I can see NMJ throwing MY onto the floor, I don't actually think he'd throw him quite that hard at this point in time? And it's also got a lot of visual echoes of JGY rolling down the stairs; I think he's projecting backwards. Of course, it still takes MY longer to recover in episode 10; Empathy consistently minimizes the physical harm done to MY.
So the conversation is interesting because it's really just two different conversations in the Empathy vs episode 10. In episode 10, MY leads with the Captain's abuse of him, and he's clear that it's habitual, ongoing, long-term. In Empathy, he leads with the Captain releasing XY, /adds in/ that the Captain wanted to kill him (that's not there in episode 10!), and absolutely skips over and minimizes the abuse: the beatings aren't mentioned, the credit-stealing isn't mentioned, the insulting and humiliating… even the 'Every time' is removed from before the 'he humiliated my mother', making it seem like this was a one-off provocation instead of habitual. NMJ's somewhat unhinged rant about MY's motives, including the would you have killed everyone at the cave if I hadn't helped you, is also Empathy-only (and then when MY starts to reply NMJ is like, Don't lie to me! and MY shuts up, suggesting perhaps that a denial would have been lying, which may be part of why people think this is a remotely reasonable assertion).
Some other interesting things—in episode 10, we see NMJ lift his sabre and then lower it, unable to go through with it; in Empathy, we don't see that at all—in general I think there's less of a sense that he's struggling with his decision, in Empathy, it's more just like He Is Doing The Righteous Justice. Fascinatingly we also don't see him put Baxia away in Empathy—I think he must because we see a scene where he already had, in episode 10, but we don't actually see it. We also don't see MY, injured, get up and thank NMJ and walk out, or indeed NMJ's conflicted gaze after him; the scene cuts off too soon.
Episode 22
(episode 22 differences)
There's only one scene for episode 22: the WRH, NMJ, and MY scene, inside Sun Palace. Right off the bat, we have the Wen erasure again; the episode 22 scene starts with WRH directly addressing NMJ and tormenting him and his Nie cultivators, whereas the Empathy one only starts when MY walks in. (Although interestingly MY addresses WRH as xiandu, while he doesn't seem to say anything with his bow in episode 22).
This one is an interesting scene because there's relatively little overlap? In the episode 10 scenes, you mostly saw different versions of the same events; in this one there's some of that, but there are also large chunks of time that are only in episode 22 or only in Empathy. Most of the MY-interacting-with-NMJ is only in Empathy, including, yes, the damn sabre touch. But we do have the beginning of MY talking to NMJ in both. MY's expression is different in Episode 22 vs Empathy—it's a little hard to capture in a still, but it's a lot more, mmm, simpering-mockery in the Empathy version?
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Ah, one detail that's interesting—so, in CQL—which is to say in Empathy because we don't see this sequence at all in Episode 22—when that Nie cultivator calls the place 'a den of Wen' he uses 温/温氏, for Wen, and then when people are insulting MY in this scene they're using 走狗. But in MDZS all of those are actually 温狗, Wen-dog. Which is definitely more directly disrespectful to WRH than the 走狗 insults, but I feel like in general CQL doesn't use 温狗 a lot, while in MDZS it's all over the place—so while it's an interesting detail I'm not sure it's suggestive for Empathy in particular. Hmmm.
We return to things being shown in both Empathy and Episode 22 with NMJ shoving MY back. In Empathy, we only see MY stagger a little, while in episode 22 it's quite considerable—again, Empathy's tendency to minimize the physical damage MY suffers.
And then MY kicks NMJ in return! Okay this is actually fascinating, because in Empathy, it looks like this totally wipes NMJ out, and the scene stops here. But that isn't at all what happened! He's knocked onto his back, yes, BUT he recovers and comes up and shoves MY hard enough he goes flying: 
He gets up and goes to attack MY, and would probably have killed him if WRH hadn't interfered. Which, don't get me wrong, is entirely reasonable of him given his understanding of the situation but it is not at all the impression you'd get from Empathy. If anything NMJ's collapse in the Empathy after MY kicks him looks like the collapse he has after WRH finishes with him, in episode 22. And MY saying How dare you be so rude in front of Clan Leader Wen when he kicks NMJ is also removed—the whole sequence here is really another example of the removal of the Wen from the Empathy scenes. 
Incidentally, MY didn't actually kill all the Nie cultivators, in this scene. If you look while MY is flying back, at least one of them is still alive:
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And then you can see all four are dead while NMJ's attacking WRH:
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But MY has been on the floor recovering from NMJ's attack, so he definitely didn't kill the at least one and quite probably two who are still alive.
WRH asks MY if NMJ killed Wen Xu question; you have MY staying quite noticeably silent, which I think is still meant to be understood as MY saving NMJ's life. I guess they changed it because the MDZS version really doesn't work with the flow of events as happens in CQL? For the record, in MDZS MY answers yes, but then immediately suggests that they torture him instead of killing him immediately, and then once WRH isn't set on killing him immediately, kills WRH on the spot and starts lugging NMJ's unconscious body out of there. So there's no WWX for distraction, and Sunshot's army definitely isn't right outside, there's only LXC he sent a message to and who hasn't quite shown up yet—so in MDZS he's taking a bigger risk, and more unambiguously saving NMJ's life and winning them the war. Which is not, to be clear, to in any way minimize CQL MY's astonishing bravery and achievements.
Episode 23
(episode 23 differences)
So in both we start with LXC holding NMJ and looking down at him. In episode 23, when NMJ sees MY, we see LXC see and notice his reaction and /then/ look over at MY in concern, whereas in Empathy we don't get that moment—it just goes to both of them looking at MY.
NMJ demands his sabre back, and in both MY complies, though in the Empathy one he takes a beat longer and looks more worried about it. In the original, MY also has "Let me explain" which is dropped from the Empathy.
In both we have NMJ attacking MY with Baxia, and trying to get past Shuoyue—in the Empathy it's a bit shorter, though, and we also lose LXC asking NMJ what he's doing this for. I think that goes with cutting LXC seeing NMJ react before he looks over at MY, above; the effect is to make NMJ's response seem more obvious/natural, when in fact LXC is pretty baffled by it at the time.
"he became the Wen's underling and had been helping the tyrant at Nevernight!"—the language on 'became the Wen's underling' is actually different in episode 23 vs Empathy. In episode 23, you have 原来投靠了温氏; in Empathy, though, it's 原来是做了走狗. Note the 走狗 as earlier!
Okay, and now the big one: LXC giving NMJ reasons they should trust MY/not kill him. Empathy cuts most of this. It keeps that MY is the one who sent the map, but it drops: that the reason LXC is here today is because MY sent him a message; that MY was the one who schemed to get WRH's guard down, and then /killed him/; that MY was the one who saved LXC's life after CR burned; and that MY independently approached WRH to spy on him and has been sending LXC letters the whole time. /That's really not trivial. That's a lot to cut./
I wonder if this has any relation to the common idea that LXC did not in fact have a lot of very good reasons to trust JGY.
(Incidentally it's after the MY killed WRH reveal, in episode 23, that NMJ lowers his blade.)
...also. so. In episode 23 LXC asks MY, you know, didn't he already tell NMJ about all this (a question which makes a lot more sense in MDZS, where NMJ has already woken up before LXC joins them, but I just run with it), and MY says, you saw it ZWJ, even if I had he wouldn't have believed me. And NMJ—again it's kind of hard to capture in a still, but he pretty much reacts like he thinks that's ridiculous and MY is just making excuses/being manipulative?
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And then of course that gets erased from the Empathy, as well as as just mentioned most of the reasons LXC actually gave. So. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Oh, this also means it cuts what I'm pretty sure is the first on-screen use of A-Yao—it does show up later in the Empathy version of this scene, so I don't think that's hugely significant, but just as a note.
Then there's MY kneeling in preparation for apology, which is in both Empathy and episode 23. The Empathy cuts make it seem like he kneels pretty much right after NMJ lowers his blade, though, and we don't get to see him making the deliberate choice to step out if LXC's protection to kneel—again, I think it makes LXC seem more understanding of NMJ than he actually is here.
The apology proper is only in Empathy; honestly it mostly seems fairly reasonable to me, although it does mean you only hear LXC saying "But I believe, when he was doing such things, deep in his heart he must have been…" after the version that cuts most of his reasons for believing that. In terms of actual changes, I wonder if LXC reacted more quickly/strongly to the bit where it looks like NMJ is actually going to kill MY? It's definitely more understated than his previous reactions, and it would fit with the other changes made.
Last scene: the oath. At this point I think it's fairly well-known that NMJ looking at JGY, and LXC turning his head to look at them both, is only in Empathy—there's also, maybe?, a small change to the text; in episode 23, "Both God and people will be furious with us" is 天人共怒, but in Empathy it's 天人共戮. I say maybe because—on the one hand, the subs definitely use a different character, and it's in both the YT subs and the Netflix subs even though those aren't always 100% identical, but while I'm not usually checking the audio for this I did here because it's just the one character and the audio pretty much sounds the same to me? (ep 23) (Empathy) Could just be my ear, or a mistake on the subs' part or the audio part, who knows.
Overview
Looking at all the changes together, a few patterns emerge.
First, people who are doing damage who aren't JGY—the Wen, XY—tend to get minimized or erased from the narrative. Similarly and to some extent as a result, the harm caused by JGY is exaggerated; also similarly, the good that JGY does is also minimized or erased. Meanwhile, the damage done /to/ JGY is minimized—both the environment of abuse he suffered at Qinghe, and the physical harm done to him, which he usually recovers from much more quickly in Empathy (even when the attack itself is made stronger as, unusually, it is in the confrontation where NMJ kicks MY out of Qinghe). Finally MY is made more manipulative than he necessarily is; while I'm not saying he's never being manipulative, NMJ understands his expressions of weakness as /purely/ manipulative and inherently false, when in fact the weakness MY expresses is very real, however calculated, or not!, its expression may be.
Honestly—in this JGY who does way more harm and way less good than he actually does, who is more powerful and experiences less damage than he actually does, who is never actually weak but only acting that way to manipulate people? I feel like I'm seeing a lot of where popular takes on JGY come from.
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faulty-writes · 3 years
Text
Warning: Blood mention, Injury mention, Spoilers from Manga. 
Fandom: My Hero Academia 
Characters: All For One, All Might!Daughter Reader, Toshinori Yagi, Izuku Midoriya. 
Word Count:  12,069
[ I present to you the long awaited part two of the All For One request. The first part is located here. I know there was an ask that I had received that requested a part two. I have no idea what happened to it. But, regardless. I hope you enjoy, I also hope the length makes up for the long wait. As usual, please excuse any spelling errors. ] 
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[ It’s been over a year since you agreed to become All For One’s successor. Your disappearance baffled those you used to hold dear, including your classmates and your father. However, under All For One’s guidance. You learned to channel all your hatred into one goal. Though wanting to kill Izuku Midoriya and your father seems a tad irrational. Your mind is too far gone to believe otherwise. The destruction that follows would prove to be one that hero society wasn’t prepared for. ] 
The story of the missing UA student went viral almost overnight, there were several internet articles, even theories revolving around your sudden disappearance. Every news station in Japan did some type of report on it, the police were involved in several investigations which caused the UA campus to be littered with authority figures. Each one trying to gather clues that would lead up to a possible explanation for your disappearance. The hospital staff was asked several questions as well, such as when you were brought in, and if anyone had seen you leave.
The records showed you were not released from the hospital, so that led most conspiracy theorists to conclude something like you had been abducted or someone had used their quirk on you which effectively made you vanish from existence. But, the biggest surprise was your father, Toshinori Yagi also known as All Might, expressing his concern for you. However, what shocked the world most was when he revealed that you were his daughter. You found the confession pathetic. Truth be told, it had been over a year since your disappearance and part of you wondered if anyone even thought about you.
If your father felt any remorse knowing he was the cause of your disappearance. Given the pain and anger he had caused you, it was what he deserved. You should have had One For All passed down to you, but no. Your father chose someone so unworthy, so unfitting. Izuku Midoriya was now your sworn enemy and you wanted to see him and your father fall. All For One promised he would assist in your goal. It was almost amusing, your father’s worst enemy helping you. Treating you like an equal, believing in you. Acting more like a father figure than your actual father.
Still, the day after you agreed to become his successor, he introduced you to the League of Villains. You knew they were small in numbers, but you learned rather quickly that Tomura Shigaraki was not to be messed with. His psychotic drive to rule over the hero world and cast it into darkness was scary, but the fact that nothing would stop him from his goal was admirable. It almost inspired you, though when you first met him. He threatened to kill you, especially knowing your connection to All Might. He argued that no purebred hero, one who carried All Might’s DNA, should be deserving of becoming All For One’s successor.
You came to understand that All For One had adopted Tomura when he was a child, apparently, he had no where else to go. He was a lonely orphan and All For One took him under his wing. However, he seemed to know that Tomura desired to go down his own path as opposed to the one All For One laid out for him. Which led him to find someone else that would step into the position and effectively destroy All Might and his successor, Izuku Midoriya. That, someone, happened to be you and he knew you wouldn’t disappoint him. You had also met Dabi, Toga, Twice, and Mr.Compress.
You found Dabi to be rather standoffish while Toga was the exact opposite. It was strange having someone latch onto you and immediately go off about how happy they are to make a new friend. Mr.Compress was more polite than anything, but you got the feeling he didn’t exactly like dealing with kids. Twice was...an interesting character, who immediately treated you like you were a member of the family. But, you didn’t get to spend much time with anyone. All For One took it upon himself to immediately start your training, at first it was simple.
Running trails to assess your current ability, considering your father’s quirk wasn’t genetically passed on. Still, your quirk was impressive nonetheless. You had some extra physical strength and you could momentarily fly if you kicked off the ground hard enough. It wasn’t an aspect of your quirk that you normally used, considering you preferred being on the ground. You had tactical intellect, but you were a little slow when it came to using it in the heat of battle, and that disappointed All For One. Still, he found your skills impressive enough and fairly warned you how intense the training would become.
Warned that even if you were battered and bruised, you had to continue. You had to stand up on your feet again. At first, you thought he was exaggerating, but your assumption was wrong. As the training continued, you were beaten until you were a bloody pulp. All For One insisted it was to better yourself, to make you faster, quicker, sharper. More violent, more determined. You had to give him credit, just as he promised. He would show you more love than your own father, he’d always pull you into his arms after every training session.
No matter how much blood covered your person, he’d run his fingers through your unruly hair and whisper how proud he was of you and once again remind you that you were his successor. That all this pain and training would be worth it in the end. Six months in, All For One introduced you to the miracle that was his quirk. “My young successor, you’ll be more powerful than you know. I will give you a copy of my power when you finally prove yourself to me. For now…” you’d never forget how he reached out and the pain that coursed through your body as soon as his fingers touched your face.
You fell to your knees, clenching your jaw as All For One generously transferred one of his quirks to you. It was almost as though your body couldn’t handle the sudden surge of limited power, you swore you felt your heart stop just before blacking out. All For One seemed most forgiving as he understood the limitations of quirks to one's body, but made it clear he still expected the best from you. It was a strange feeling, possessing another one’s quirk and learning how to use it, what triggers made it click or appear.
You couldn’t help but think back to Izuku, was this the way he felt when your father passed One For All to him? You had to admit, it was a challenge. But, All For One insisted on intensifying your training. Believing that the added stress would quicken your quirk ability. Come 9 months, he bestowed another quirk onto you and he was rather pleased how well you received it. Unlike before, you didn’t blackout. Despite the toll the quirks took on your body, you were more than grateful to All For One and continued down your path as his successor.
Come 12 months, you had mastered your gifted quirks and learned to control them alongside your birth quirk. You knew it was finally time to unleash your anger, you would locate Izuku Midoriya and finally prove to your father just how worthy you were. All For One had gotten you a special outfit just for the occasion, you thought it was strange at first. Seeing as it resembled the suit that he normally wore, the same aspect went for the mask that was a part of the getup as well. The rest of your costume consisted of a long-sleeved shirt, made of a special material that would allow better movement and usage of your quirks.
That same material made up your pants and on your feet were heavy boots which All For One insisted would better keep your balance and cause more damage if you chose to use your kicking power. You took a deep breath, it was funny. You could barely recognize your reflection in the mirror and your mind was busy replaying the past year. Your memories of the first year at UA and the hospital where All For One convinced you to become his successor. You had changed so much since that simple time, not only was your heart blackened. You had physically changed as well, both because of the quirks All For One gave you and his training.
You had gained an impressive amount of muscle and learned how to shut off certain emotions. Despite that, you could hear that small voice in the back of your head ‘Is this the right thing to do?’ you shook your head. Of course it was, this is what you wanted from the very beginning. You nearly gasped when a hand grabbed your shoulder and watched as All For One’s reflection appeared alongside yours. You could tell there was a smile on his face before he leaned down next to your ear, “You look beautiful my successor,” he said before leaning up, you swallowed hard when you felt his hand run through your hair.
The image of your father doing the same popped into your head, and you couldn’t help but close your eyes. “Thank you,” the words were whispered, maybe you were a little anxious for whatever happened next. Still, you turned around, looking at All For One with a determined glance, “What now? I want Izuku Midoriya to fall, you promised you would help me achieve that,” you said with a hiss and your fists tightened as All For One laughed, was he mocking you? “Now, now…” he reached out, once more running his fingers through your hair.
“All in good time, be a good girl and do as I instruct and Izuku Midoriya will fall into your lap,” he promised, knowing that you were growing rather impatient. You had waited for this day, and he was rather eager to watch you cause destruction. In addition to knowing it would cause pain to All Might, which he particularly favored. The only remaining detail was how to get Izuku Midoriya to come to you. There were many ways you could do this, including pretending to be a civilian who needed help and have the unsuspecting hero run after you. Perhaps corner him and pounce. 
But, All For One suggested something a little more traumatizing, you’d reveal yourself to Izuku and the world all at once. After all, the game of cat and mouse was quite entertaining. The well-known fact about luring Izuku to you was that All Might, the former symbol of peace, would no doubt follow. So, you were rather happy knowing there was a chance you’d be able to take both of them out. “Very well, when do we start?” you questioned and watched as All For One smiled, which was something you were more or less used to. He then turned, raising his hand.
You were a tad confused when he motioned you to follow him, but you knew better than to disobey his order. Regardless if it was a verbal command or not. You trailed behind him, exiting the rather gloomy room that had been your bedroom for the last year. You walked down a darkened hallway and the only source of illumination was coming from a nearby elevator that you stepped into with All For One. You remained quiet as he pressed a button and the elevator began going up. You pressed yourself against the nearest wall and almost shyly glanced at the man.
The one who took you in, the one who trained you, the one who was helping you essentially get revenge on the ones that hurt you. Once more you felt your stomach twist and tried to push the small sense of guilt down. No, your father and Izuku deserved this. They deserved it. Your thoughts were shattered when you felt a hand come to rest on the top of your head, you jumped in surprise and All For One chuckled. “Thoughts bothering you again?” he questioned and you parted your lips to answer, but ended up glancing to the side.
“Hm,” he frowned and reached down to grab your chin. You hissed as he forced your head up and wrapped your hand around his wrist. Despite the fact All For One had no eyes, you couldn’t help but widen yours in fear. His grip was menacing and it only reminded you that if he truly wanted, he could easily kill you anytime he pleased. “Do not let guilt rule you, I have taught you better than that. Focus on your goal and only your goal,” he reminded you yet again before releasing your jaw, you could feel your skin lightly throb and partly wondered if he had left bruises.
Yet, small bruises meant nothing in comparison to the numerous injuries you had received throughout your training. When the elevator finally stopped and the doors opened, you followed All For One out and realized you were on the rooftop overlooking part of the city. Though it looked far away and the sun was setting which caused the buildings to illuminate, you could make out the lighted windows and a nostalgic feeling came over you. A powerful gust of wind came and carried your hair with it, oddly enough you recalled a memory.
Yes, you and your father had done this. Though you had to admit, your father was a tad odd and not the brightest when it came to educating children. Still, somehow or another he convinced you to join him on the rooftop of UA, something that you thought was against the rules. But, it was shortly after you had gotten into the hero course. It seemed like a lifetime ago now, but you recalled the way your father smiled and proceeded to tell you to do your best. Your hands curled into fists, that was the only real advice he ever gave you and now he’d be paying for it.
Your best was never good enough for the symbol of peace. You took a deep breath and walked over to the edge of the building, laying your hands on the cold metal railing. All For One remained standing behind you, uncharacteristically quiet. You partly wondered if he was waiting for you to speak or simply enjoying the sunset. Still, you turned to him with narrowed eyes. “When can I finally-” he held his hand up to silence you, “I said to be a good girl, I brought you up here to observe,” you raised your eyebrow and turned back to the distant city.
“Observe what!?” you exclaimed, arms out and hands moving all around as if something interesting would actually happen. All For One chuckled and laid his hand gently on your shoulder, “Look at the city, how quiet it is,” he began. You blinked, “Yeah?” you wondered where he was going with such a statement, “Imagine the chaos that will occur once you bring Izuku Midoriya down, you will be able to take this city. Crush anyone who dares oppose you, this is my gift to you,” he explained as his hand reached up to grab your chin, he was less forceful this time and gently turned your head.
You wore a blank expression as you stared at him. He remained silent except for the smile on his face, “Now,” he released your chin, “enjoy the moments prior to your victory, you start tomorrow,” he said as he turned to walk back to the elevator. Your eyes widened and you quickly spun on your feet, “T-Tomorrow?” you questioned, your voice coming off as clueless and rather shaky. He told you to wait and be patient only to tell you that your plans will be set in motion tomorrow? It didn’t make a lot of sense to you, however, you recalled being taught that villains were dangerous and their radical way of thinking often drove them to the point of madness.
Thus why a hero always had to be careful when facing a potentially dangerous threat, many heroes lost their lives to carelessness and this time, it would be Izuku Midoriya. The thought alone brought a smile to your face and you quickly adjusted your mask before following All For One into the elevator. “Tomorrow,” you whispered as the doors closed behind you. The following night was calm, though you couldn’t help but feel a sense of happiness as you laid in bed. All For One usually checked on you every hour or so.
You recall he did it more when you first agreed to become his successor. You assumed he checked on you to ensure you hadn’t escaped or were trying to. But, after a while, it turned into something that he did out of care and in a way, it helped you sleep. When you woke, you went through your normal morning routine which included getting ready for the day, eating something, and your usual training session which lasted until noon. After that, All For One ordered you to get into your costume which you happily did and once you were ready.
You followed him to the rooftop. “I assume you remember the plan, my successor,” you took a deep breath, the world seemed so still around you. “Mmhm,” you responded with a nod, but your eyes remained focused on the city landscape. A moment of silence filled the air before you climbed onto the railing, perfectly balanced. “Go,” All For One gave the single command and you jumped like a perfect obedient puppy.
But damn, you couldn’t help but feel alive as you descended toward the ground below. The wind whipped through your body like paper, your hair blew everywhere, and yet you felt utterly weightless. As you prepared to land, you angled your body just so and activated one of the quirks, All For One was generous enough to give you Forced Quirk Activation. This caused black jagged limbs to extend from your palm, you also had the option to use your fingers. Normally this quirk was reserved to activate others' quirks against their will, but it could be doubled as a weapon of sorts.
Easily piercing through human flesh, among other things. Either way, it proved useful as it split the pavement below. You clenched your jaw as a small pain radiated through your hand but you ignored it. More than likely, it was a sign that your body was continuing to try and reject your gifted quirks. You knew that a quirk was essentially an evolution of the human race and if you were special, you were gifted with more than one. An example of this was your old classmate, Shoto Todoroki. Ice and fire were his gifts.
His body was capable of handling those quirks while your body was merely a test dummy. But, you didn’t care. The pain was only a reminder of your goal, you focused your attention forward and continued to move. Surely you were noticeable and rather scary as you continued to close the distance between yourself and the city. As one would expect, as soon as civilians saw you overhead, they began screaming. This effectively caught the attention of the authorities, but they weren't worth your time.
Still, it was rather annoying watching as the cops scattered and barked commands into their radios. Your eyes narrowed as you continued down the crowded streets of Tokyo, more jagged limbs grew from your shoulders which gave your palm a rest. You paused a moment and looked at the lines of blood which dripped from your palm and seeped down to your wrist. “Worth it…” you muttered just as a few police cars sped toward you. The glare from their flashing lights irritated your vision.
Did they truly have to make such a scene? You were merely looking for something or rather someone. But, this was the ignorance of the hero world. Even if you were being “innocent”, merely on a stroll. They had to interfere with your business. You narrowed your eyes as one officer stepped forward and through their megaphone commanded you to surrender. You glanced at the pathetic barricade of police cars they had formed, did they truly think such a thing would stop you?
You couldn’t help the chuckle that left your lips and gave a wicked smile, “I’m just looking for someone, but if you’re going to be difficult…” you trailed off and raised your hand. You could feel vibrations course through your fingertips before a powerful air shock wave came. You watched in amusement as the city vibrated, almost like an earthquake. Causing the pavement to crack and the windows of the police cars to shatter violently. The nearby buildings seemed to shake, cracks appearing across their structure and broken windows.
As expected, the display of your power caused a panic. A single scream pierced through the air before civilians began to run to safety. Pushing each other down in an attempt to save their own life, pathetic. Yet, it somehow made you smile. In the distance, you could hear the sound of a helicopter. More than likely coming to do a report on your attack on the city. You’d deal with them later, instead, you retracted those jagged limbs and fell to the cracked street below. Landing on your knee with your arm outstretched to support you.
The civilians who were still running made sure to evade you as you locked your eyes on the remaining authority figures. At least some of them were brave enough to keep standing, did they think they were being heroic by living up to their duties? That was pathetic, however, you noticed one of them was standing in front of the others. More than likely the chief, the ones that stood behind him had their guns up and pointed in your direction. Rather a foolish thing to do when innocent lives were rushing around.
The heavy feeling of fear continued to linger in the air which only made your next set of words, somewhat terrifying, “Please, don’t be foolish.” you could see they were all shaking which caused those guns to tremble as well, you half expected one of them to fire theirs prematurely. But then again, surely they were too frightened to properly use those guns. But, you thought taking care of them first would be best. So, without hesitation, you held your palm out, and once more those air shockwaves came.
You didn’t care if they got injured as a result, nor that sickening crack that followed as their bodies hit the ground. Several gunshots sounded, more than likely triggered by their harsh impact. Luckily no bullet hit you. Yet, the chief seemed to have taken less damage. Having been thrown against one of the police vehicles, causing the driver door to get dented in and it appeared their arm was bleeding. More than likely from the shattered glass of the window. They seemed disorientated for the moment. But, that didn’t stop you from approaching them.
You leaned close and with a happy smirk on your face, you spoke, “Scared? Don’t worry, I won’t kill you...yet,” without warning, you wrapped your fingers around their neck. Your nails sunk into the flesh of their throat and you chuckled as they weakly reached up to try and claw at the back of your hand. But mere scratches didn’t bother you. A growl sounded before you pulled them forward and menacingly looked them in the eye. “I’m looking for Deku,” you growled, “Give him to me or...well, I won’t be responsible for my actions,” the sound of that helicopter grew louder and you glanced up.
You could clearly make out the members of the local news crew, and the reporter that was hanging out the open doors. Microphone shoved in their face, more than likely dribbling nonsense. How about that, you would be on the news.  You partly wondered what they were saying: “This just in, All Might’s missing daughter on villainous rampage. Looking to kill or severely injure a certain bastard that stole her father’s attention away.” Did that sound too selfish? Well, too bad. Actually, “Hm…” you continued to look at the helicopter, perhaps you could use them to your advantage.
You chuckled softly before releasing your hold on the cop’s throat. They dropped to the ground like the pathetic scum they were. However, your eyes remained locked on the helicopter and you shifted your feet just so. Your arms were by your sides and your palms were facing down. The surge of pain came as those limbs reappeared and lifted you into the air, you stretched your legs out and maneuvered your hands. Once more using the gifted quirk to thrust yourself upward from a building roof.
Your world blurred for a moment, but you knew you were heading straight toward that helicopter and yet again used your quirk to piece through the blades of it, effectively causing it to spin out of control. You could hear alarms going off as the pilot tried to regain control and the news crew hung onto the emergency handles for dear life. Your body was thrown around like a ragdoll, however, you once more used your quirk. You positioned one of your hands so it was facing the ground below and your fingers morphed into small jagged appendages that you used for leverage to steady yourself.
In one motion you pulled your arm back and fell toward the city below. You couldn’t help but grin as you watched the helicopter spin and crash into a series of buildings. Causing several explosions, would be a shame if someone was actually in those buildings. More than likely they would have died from the impact alone. But, whether or not anyone was alive, wasn’t your concern. You dropped to the ground once again, noticing the street was now covered in dirt among the crumbled pieces of building and broken glass.
You quickly made your way to the location of the fallen helicopter, noticing the way it had landed. On its side, the metal blades bent and broke, and the wires underneath it sparked. You could make out the news reporters however, seemed they were injured but more than capable of moving. You slowly approached, watching as they helped each other out of the helicopter and onto the street. You noticed one of them was still holding the camera and you pointed your finger at them. “You…” the word left your lips ominously and it was almost entertaining to watch their heads turn and the look of fear come to their eyes when they saw you.
“Point that camera at me,” you demanded with a menacing growl as you curled your bloody hand into a fist. Perhaps you were overusing the Forced Activation Quirk, even so. You weren’t willing to die until you faced Izuku Midoriya. “NOW,” you demanded before stomping your foot, which caused the ground to shake underneath you. The news reporters cowered and you watched as the individual hesitantly hoisted the camera onto their shoulder, you could see a faint red light blinking on the side of it. Good, that meant there was a chance you could get your message through. 
“Are we live?” you questioned in a gitty fashion. “Regardless…” you pointed at the camera, “My name is Y/n, daughter of the former symbol of peace, All Might. Yes, shocking isn’t it? I am here to settle a score of sorts, take something back that was mine. I am calling you, Izuku Midoriya. Come face me or...well, perhaps I could have fun killing off more civilians, burying their bodies under the remains of the buildings. Your call…” you chuckled before signaling them to drop the camera. “Hopefully, he makes the correct choice,” you muttered before activating Airwalk, a quirk that allowed you to levitate in midair.
It was almost entertaining, looking down at everything. You chuckled as you watched the news reporters scamper to safety. You took note the police officers had vanished as well. You were more than certain no pro hero would try to interfere now that you had made it clear what you wanted, and considering the damage you already did. It would be unwise for any hero to try and step in. You had established yourself as a threat and a very fearful one at that. In the distance you could see more flashing lights and crowds of people, more than likely the authorities were closing off this section of the city. Which was an impressive move or rather a smart one.
You chuckled and reached up to adjust your mask, you wondered if All For One was proud of you. He was always so gentle with his words, always encouraging or speaking to you kindly. You wondered if there was a possibility All For One enjoyed playing the role of a parent. You knew very little about his past, apart from the fact he had a brother who was seemingly quirkless. Regardless, you had never felt more encouraged in your life and you’d make him proud. Still, you couldn’t help but feel a tad bored.
“Mm…” you reached up, tapping your cheek before taking a struggled breath. Was it growing difficult to breathe? You could feel your heart racing inside your chest, was that from adrenaline or happiness? Well, you’d find out. You could see some buildings were left undamaged, time to change that. You grinned and raised your arm, feeling your skin tingle and expand as you used Air Cannon again.
The ground vibrated and you watched as the buildings that once stood tall came crashing down. It was satisfying to watch the city fall piece by piece. You let out a sigh as you lower yourself back to the ground, taking a few steps forward. Being careful to avoid tripping over your feet or over any garbage that was in your way. You paused momentarily when you thought you heard something, at first you thought it was your imagination. But, you quickly realized it was someone calling for help. Oh dear, was someone trapped under the rubble?
A hum sounded in your throat as you followed the noise, surprised to see an opening within one of the ruined buildings. You carefully stepped over the metal rods and glass, up a pile of dirt to look inside the dimly lit opening. Sure enough, you could see someone laying on the ground. They were dripping blood from their forehead and it appeared like their leg was trapped under something, maybe a metal beam. You weren’t sure, and frankly, you didn’t care. Still, you thought it was rather foolish of them to call out to you of all people for help.
You could only chuckle, “Of course, I’ll help. Death is an easy solution,” the words came off your tongue with a purr and you lifted your arm once more. However, you paused and looked out of the corner of your eye. You could barely make out the green streaks, more so you could barely dodge. Your ears rang as Izuku screamed your name, but you were too busy literally bending over backward. Your eyes widened as the world slowed down and you could clearly see Izuku’s fist gliding past your face.
The impact that followed caused your mask to fly off. Where it landed, you didn’t particularly care. You stumbled back, your facial features twisted with disgust and anger. Your hair had bits of dirt and blood in it and hung lazily in your face. “Izuku…” you growled, though you were a little shocked to see him handling that quirk without breaking any bones. Had he finally learned how to control it? Damn, you missed a lot. 
But, you had trained under All For One himself. You had multiple quirks and there was no way Izuku could beat you, yes...One For All was powerful. But, in the wrong hands like Izuku’s, it would prove worthless in battle. This is the only thing that gave you some confidence as you walked over to him, he was on one knee with his hand pressed against the cracked pavement. You imagined several pro heroes, including Endeavor and Best Jeanist were standing around, unable to do anything but pray that Izuku could stop you.
“Did dear old father come with you?” the question left your mouth in a teasing tone. However, a moment later your hands curled into fists and Izuku stood back on his feet. You had to admit, perhaps he had gotten taller and you could clearly see he gained more muscle. “Of course he came…” you hissed out, “Anything to protect his dear little, Izuku. Yet, he would never do ANYTHING for me!!!” you screamed, ignoring the way your throat strained. You could feel your eyes water, must be the dirt.
Izuku didn’t seem entirely phased by your words and only shook his head. Lowering his defenses a moment, you could see those familiar lightning-like streaks disappear. “Y/n…” he began, his eyes focusing on the ground, more specifically your feet. “You disappeared...a year ago, I…I w-was so worried something b-bad might have...happened to y-you…” his hand reached up, pressing against his chest. However, you rolled your eyes. “You damn well remember what happened in that hospital a year ago!” you snapped, accusingly pointing your finger at Izuku.
He only narrowed his eyes, “What happened to you, Y/n?! Why did you come back?! O-Only...only to c-cause this much d-destruction?! T-This isn’t you...y-you’re a...you’re a hero!” the very word made you gag, hero. Sure, a hero whose father ignored her and chose someone else to pass his quirk to. Cared for someone else more than his own flesh and blood, someone who kept the fact you were his daughter a secret. Some hero. “Don’t insult me,” you spoke in a low voice, you highly doubted you were ever actually a hero.
Back when you could still call yourself innocent, you had only wanted to become a hero to please your father. You wanted so much to be like him and have people look up to you. Well, they looked in fear now. Either way, you were getting the attention you so desired and no doubt people would be talking about you for years to come. “I-I’m not insulting! I t-thought something bad r-really had happened! T-To see you...here...p-part of me...just w-wants to hug you and...a-and make everything better!” you let out a frustrated growl and that Forced Quirk Activation came to surface.
Your fingers morphed into those menacingly dangerous limbs and they were aimed at Izuku. However, you might have underestimated just how quick of a reaction time he had. The dagger-like limbs embedded themselves into the pavement, instead of Izuku’s body like you had originally wanted. “Hm, and here I thought you were going to make this boring!” you snapped and quickly raised your other arm, once again those limbs came out and you smiled as you watched Izuku’s eyes widen.
He had jumped to avoid your attack and now he was falling through the air. But, it almost looked as though he were hovering, more than likely thanks to that quirk of his. The one that should have been yours, perhaps that saying could finally die along with Izuku and possibly your father. If you were lucky enough for that. ‘I won’t be able to dodge in time, but I’m sure this will work. Just have to wait for the right moment…’ Izuku thought as your quirk closed its distance. Once in range, Izuku held up his hand and you could hear a snap.
“What the hell!?” your arms instantly went up, shielding yourself from the dust and glass that was a backlash result of Izuku’s action. Your foot went back, trying to steady yourself from getting blown away. Damn it, you had to do something. Regardless of where Izuku was, more than likely he had hit the ground by now which meant you had a chance of hitting him if you used Air Cannon. You cleared your mind and extended your arm out, once more that familiar painful tingle came as the pressure built.
A moment passed before you finally released it, the ground around you cracked and fell apart. The surrounding buildings already bent, came crashing to the ground and their impact only added to the strong vibrations from your quirk. Izuku had indeed touched the ground just before it began to shake violently, his only option was to jump yet again. Believing your quirk wouldn’t reach him the sky, however, he mistakenly believed that your quirk was causing earthquakes as opposed to airwaves.
He let out a cry when his body was hurled back and you could hear the loud crash as he collided with part of a building. You couldn’t help the smirk that came to your face as you walked over, seeing the dust cloud from where he had made an impact. As it cleared you could see his body lying there, his arms stretched out as well as his legs. There were some cuts on his person, and you hadn’t taken into account that Izuku wasn’t in his hero costume.
His legs were exposed because of the shorts he wore and they were covered in a thin layer of blood and dirt. “It’s a shame you had to make me go and do this Izuku Midoriya, but All For One seemed to have thought it best. Unlike my father, he’s rather encouraging when I fail. Not that I will when it comes to killing you. But first, I’d like to have a little fun,” you chuckled, despite the line of tears dripping down your cheeks. You raised your arm and your fingers morphed, this time you’d pierce him with your quirk and you’d enjoy watching his reaction.
You couldn’t tell if he was conscious or not, but it was almost pathetic how easily he seemed to be defeated and by a simple airwave, no less. Well, it didn’t matter. You smiled as you watched those jagged limbs pierce through Izuku’s flesh and it seemed to jolt him back into reality. His back arched as he let out a scream which was music to your ears. You had pierced through both his shoulders, his legs, and his stomach. Sounds painful, but this particular quirk wasn’t known to cause much, if at all, any pain.
It was simply a way to force one’s quirk to activate against their will and it was a delight watching Izuku struggle as his body illuminated and One For All appeared. Surrounding his body in that almost cosmic energy, “How does it feel, Deku? I only wish this quirk could cause you pain. Does it feel uncomfortable when your quirk is activated and you’re not the one in control? Yeah...that’s similar to how I felt throughout last year, always watching you with my father. Using the quirk he bestowed onto you instead of his own blood!” Maybe that’s another reason why All For One had chosen you because you each shared a want to have One For All to yourself.
Still, you had never once imagined you’d get so much happiness out of watching Izuku struggle, his cries growing louder. His body moving every which way despite the minor cuts that scattered across his body. It must be so uncomfortable to wiggle your body like that when on top of a pile of rubble, not that you cared. No, you were enjoying the show at least for the few blissful moments it was occurring. Your eyes narrowed when you noticed a dark circle beginning to grow on Izuku’s stomach, it almost looked like a black hole.
“What the hell…” you muttered before suddenly blackness shot out. You watched it manifest into what resembled whips and honestly, you were too shocked to process what was actually occurring. You tried retracting your quirk, but you were too slow and felt one of the whips wrap around your ankle. “Oh no…” your world blurred as you were hurled through the air, it all seemed to happen too quickly. The next thing you felt was the impact of the ground against your shoulder and a loud crack echoed. This was only followed by a surge of pain that traveled past your collarbones to the opposite side of your body. 
You grunted, your hand now clenching your aching shoulder as you struggled to get back on your feet. You clenched your jaw in an effort to keep the whimpers that threatened to escape silent. Allowing them to pass your lips would only be a sign of weakness. You took a deep breath, All For One had not gifted you the quirk of Regeneration. He stated you were strong enough on your own and that the experience without rapid healing of any kind, would only continue to strengthen your character.
He had also promised that if you got severely injured despite your best efforts, he would take care of you. Something that you appreciated, but not as much as a healing quirk. “Just...walk...it...off,” you muttered as you stumbled to turn around, the sound of your pants filling the air. Your eyes settled on Izuku as he crawled across the rubble and much like you, stood on shaky legs. “Try that a-again!” you shouted as you took a sloppy step forward. All you needed was a little adrenaline and the pain would numb on its own.
Izuku sucked his breath in and shook his head, “You need to stop t-this...Y/n. Is t-this...because of what happened with A-All Might? I get he’s your f-father and all, but…” the last thing you needed was a lecture from the King of Muttering, “Shut up!” you snapped, obviously angered at the mention of All Might. “You know nothing about my life!” hell, no one did, “You know nothing about being a true hero, I have already destroyed this city. Oh, and if you’re such a great hero,” you grinned. 
“Then tell me, why haven’t you saved that poor civilian trapped under one of these destroyed buildings?” you spoke in a mocking tone, if anything to get a reaction from the green-haired boy. “Oh wait, they could be dead. My Air Cannon could have sealed their fate…” you chuckled and slowly removed your hand from your shoulder, “Let’s see if you can actually outrun my quirk this time, Izuku Midoriya,” you found amusement in the way his eyes grew wide and his face twisted with anger. 
Yet, you continued to smile, “I’d race you...but,” you took another step forward, “no promises,” you said before activating Air Walk. Izuku almost seemed memorized as he watched you ascend into the air, but his expression quickly changed into that of horror. You had decided it was time to try combining the quirks All For One had gifted you, though it was tricky and took a lot of energy. You took a deep breath and focused, channeling Air Cannon, Forced Quirk Activation, and Rivet which allowed rivet-like growths to appear on your arm.
Your eyes focused forward, you could still see the flashing police cars off in the distance and you could make out the heroes that stood among the police officers. One of them was glowing like a torch so you assumed it could only be Endeavor and it appeared your old teacher, Shota Aizawa, was also there. They weren’t exactly the ideal audience members you wanted, but there was little to be done about it now. They had decent seats for witnessing what was about to occur.
“Ready Izuku? I’d suggest you start running...now,” you growled, as those jagged-limbs extended out from your arm and the rivets that appeared alongside it, vibrated and would also help stabilize the increased power of your Air Cannon. The pressure that was building felt wonderful and honestly, you were quite proud of yourself. The wind came and ruffled your hair, you could feel it brush off some of the dirt that stuck to your face. Your shoulder though still radiating with pain, could move. But even if it couldn’t, you’d make it move. You felt such a strange sense of happiness fill you, they say power is dangerous.
But, if it gave you this much of a high. Hell, it was worth it. Izuku, on the other hand, had great power as well. But, unlike most, he hadn’t used it for evil purposes. No, he had chosen to be a hero. Even at the cost of his own life, he’d stop whatever villain stood to harm others and at this very moment. That villain was you. “One For All! A hundred percent!” he screamed just before kicking off the ground, the pavement already cracked and abused began to cave in on itself. You could faintly hear running water and you could only assume that you had busted a water pipe when you previously used Air Cannon.
Either way, it was amusing to see Izuku blindly racing forward. He had no idea where this civilian was. But, it didn’t matter. You grinned and released your combined quirk. The air shockwave came as a powerful force of energy, ripping apart what remained of the buildings and the pavement below continued to cave in, creating an abyss of sorts. You moved forward, thankful for your position in the sky. You had lost track of Izuku, which was somewhat amazing considering he had his quirk activated. However, when it came to justice and doing what was right.
He could move as fast as he needed to, the sound of his shoes slamming against the pavement echoed in his ears  “Hey!” he shouted, “D-Does someone need help!?” his question went unanswered. Which upset him, but he couldn’t afford to give up. He knew at any moment there was a chance you’d release that quirk and then this innocent civilian would die. He wasn’t about to allow that, no. The innocent should never die, “Answer me! I’m here! I’m Deku! I’ll save you!” he shouted again, his jaw clenching as he continued to run past what used to be buildings.
His eyes looked every which way, “Hello!” he desperately called out once more before he felt the ground shake, he lifted his head and gasped. In the distance, he could see the pavement splitting apart. “I have to think fast!” he declared, “Think of where they could be, they have to be an open area within what remains of the buildings. They must be further into what’s left of the city as well,” he couldn’t waste any more time. He dug his feet into the ground and jumped into the air. This would be faster than walking and he’d have more control over where he landed.
He covered an impressive amount of distance and he could see the resulting occurrence of your quirks. What was once the street was nothing but a dark strip. He clenched his jaw and nearly stumbled when he hit the ground. It was a tad tricky to keep your balance when the ground below you continued to shake. “Can anyone hear me!?” he screamed, ignoring the way his heart rapidly echoed in his ears. “Dang it,” he took off running, “Someone, anyone!?” he called again, passing by yet another building. He recognized it, he passed it most days.
A growl rumbled in his throat, he couldn’t fully understand why you had done this. What was turning into a villain proving? Obviously nothing, but then again. Most villains aren’t meant to be understood, some are just too crazy or too damaged. Sure sometimes life deals you a bad hand, but you had to stand up again and learn how to overcome it. Like he was trying to do, he was once a quirkless boy who dreamed of becoming a hero, and now...despite all odds, he had achieved that dream. His fists tightened, “Why...why would Y/n, d-do this?” he questioned before lifting his head.
He blinked and looked around, “Hello?” he thought he heard someone. He cautiously took a step forward, the shaking was growing more violent. He was running out of solid ground. He remained quiet, listening for the sound again and sure enough, he would hear faint cries. He wasted no time in running to the source, no surprise it appeared to be coming from underneath a pile of rubble. But, it had a small opening which provided him with enough light to see the outline of someone.
By the way they were laying, Izuku immediately assumed they were trapped or too injured to move. But, a good hero always made sure of someone’s condition before going through with a rescue and evacuate mission, “Excuse me! Are you injured?!” he questioned, either way, he’d have to be careful. “I’ll get you out, don’t worry I-” before he could finish he heard the road behind him crumble. You smirked as you watched the city become no more, it was quite satisfying to a point. You willed your quirks away, revealing your torn and bloody arm. Dark circular bruises appeared where those ridges had pushed past your skin.
You paid no mind to it as you hovered just above what was once the street, nothing more than an abyss. “Hm…” you reached up, cupping your chin as you made your way to the opposite side of the city. Surely Izuku couldn’t have outrun the destruction caused by your quirk. Your eyebrows knit together, maybe surveying the area would be a wise idea. You knew that Izuku was strong in the sense that he never gave up. He’d beat himself to a bloody pulp if it meant protecting someone, but could he stand a building falling on him?
You hovered past several piles of glass and plaster, carefully looking for any sign of Izuku or that one unfortunate civilian who happened to have been in the wrong place at the wrong time. You placed your hand on your hip, despite the movement aggravating the injured side of your body. Maybe you should switch to your good side, then again. Much like Izuku, you’d let your body become nothing but a ragdoll if it ensured victory. Still, your lips formed a pout. Had Izuku actually been crushed, was he buried under one of the piles?
That was disappointing, however, a gasp escaped you when you noticed a splatter of something against a piece of what you assumed was now a broken window still. You blinked and crept closer, your eyes widened when you saw it was dark and had a red tint to it, almost like, “Blood…” you whispered in disbelief, your eyes then drifted to a piece of ripped fabric. It was hanging off a nearby rock and you recognized it as a piece of the shorts Izuku was wearing. You carefully lowered yourself onto the pile of debris, letting out a cry when you almost slipped. 
You quickly regained your balance before reaching out to take the piece of fabric in your hand. Sliding your thumb across it, feeling the rough texture of it. A frown then came, despite your injuries. You had thought this fight would be more...exciting. It clearly wasn’t, which was a disappointment. “Always the loser, huh, Deku?” you released the piece of fabric and watched as it was carried away by the wind. It was then that you heard something which caused you to raise your eyebrow. You curiously looked over your shoulder, swearing you saw the slightest of movement.
Turning around, you watched as several pebbles began to shake. Almost like an earthquake was coming, but you had already finished using your quirk. Surely there was no aftereffect, so what was causing the movement? You took a step back and suddenly something clicked. You let out a cry and crouched down as dirt, glass, and combined pieces of building flew everywhere. “Dammit!” you hissed as you stumbled over, now against the uncomfortable surface. You could feel it poking and proding your body. 
But, you kept your arms up. Covering your face and shielding your neck, your legs were curled up into your stomach. Izuku had tried a desperate move and channeled One For All to his legs, giving him an advantage as he raced forward to save the civilian trapped under the rubble. Unfortunately, just as he feared their foot was trapped underneath a metal beam. At that moment, he did the only thing he could think of. Stood above them and activated his quirk, his arms facing out and palms ready to hold back the weight as the remains of the building collapsed onto them, possibly further trapping them.
His legs were shaking and he clenched his jaw as his trembling arms continued to hold back the weight, he couldn’t afford to die at this rate. His veins were glowing that pink-red color and those green streaks that were often accompanied when he activated One For All danced around his arms. He knew it might be a bad idea, but he yet again, made a desperate move. He channeled his quirk to his dominant arm, “Detroit smash!!!” he cried, and as soon as his knuckles made contact. A blowback of power occurred. The result of which built-up pressure and finally forced it to escape.
His panting filled the air as the dust cleared and he stood tall, the civilian cradled in his arms. Though their foot was bloody and bent in a way that wasn’t humanly possible. They looked limp in his arms, however, Izuku had received most of the damage. He was covered in cuts and pieces of glass were embedded into his skin. His legs were black and blue, blood coated each one, and it was possible he had broken a bone or two. His arm was darkened in color almost as though he had gotten burned. His fingers and knuckles were the same, the skin around them dark and blood was dripping along the length of the damaged skin.
He had a cut on his lip and one that ran horizontally underneath his right eye which looked swollen. Once everything settled down and you heard that panting, you pushed yourself up. Eyes growing wide when you saw the state Izuku was in, you looked at the civilian as well. Honestly, you didn’t care what happened to them. But, knowing they would remain alive was a little disappointing. Still, a chuckle left your lips and you stood on shaky feet. A small amount of blood was dripping from your mouth, maybe you swallowed glass.
The taste of iron was a tad distracting, but you couldn’t help the wicked smirk that came to your face. “Impressive, I should have expected such from a hero,” you commented, finding some amusement in the way Izuku clenched his jaw and his eyes burned with hatred. You were kind of giddy to see such an expression and directed at you nonetheless. “Are you mad at me, Izuku?” you questioned, “Good,” you chuckled and held your good arm out to the side.
Your hand curled into a fist and you watched Izuku’s expression change. His pupils shrinking in size and his lips parting. More than likely you assumed he knew he couldn’t move too quickly, else he’d cause further injury to the civilian he held in his arms. You remained silent, in such close range any one of your quirks could potentially knock Izuku off his feet, even your original quirk. Which you had neglected in place of your new ones. But, it seemed you favored using Air Cannon more than anything and that familiar vibration coursed through your arm. 
The smirk on your face only grew when Izuku took a step back, clearly, he knew by now there was no trying to talk his way out of this. “Are you happy this is what your actions caused, Izuku Midoriya? Because of you my fath-'' suddenly a sound echoed through the air, one that filled you with disgust and anger. Yet, a sense of familiarity and memories. Talk about perfect timing, you had hoped your father would make an appearance. Seemed whatever God or otherwise chose to answer your prayer was being rather generous. “Y/N!!!” came All Might’s voice, though it was hardly intimidating.
You were well aware your father had lost all use of One For All, the result was him remaining in his true form. That of a skinny, weak, old man. You stood there a moment and glanced to the side, part of you didn’t even want to look at your father. Feeling as though such an action would cause you to become nauseous, but you knew you had to. Especially if you wished to cause some well-deserved harm. “Hmph,” a soft growl rumbled in your throat before you lowered your arm and turned around. Sure enough, there he was. Toshinori Yagi, previously known as All Might.
The former symbol of peace, your father. You said nothing, only crossed your arms. A growl escaped you as you narrowed your eyes and fought the urge to smash your fist right into his face. You could hear movement behind you, more than likely Izuku running off to protect that no good civilian. But, surely he wouldn’t leave All Might alone. Your father was quirkless while you had multiple quirks. Fairness didn’t come into the equation here. Yet, you could see your father’s eyes widen. “It is you…” he whispered as he looked at you from head to toe.
You were covered in dirt and blood, your clothes were ripped. Your hair was messy and stiff. Bruises littered one arm and fresh blood continued to drip from your mouth which in a way, ironically was something that happened to your father frequently. You assumed it was due to that stomach injury he had received years ago when he faced down All For One. Still, you rolled your eyes. “Back from the dead,” you mocked and All Might frowned, “Y/n...I…” you growled and closed the distance between All Might and yourself.
You partly wondered how he had gotten this far considering the damage you had done to the road. But, you knew as a previous pro hero, he had his ways. Both of you were standing near the edge of what was once the road. One misstep and you’d fall into nothingness. “You can take your apology and shove it up your ass!” you snapped, acting like an angry child and essentially you were just that. Angry, pissed off, loathing the very concept of your father’s existence.
“I don’t care what you have to say, I only care about ending you. But, before I do. I want to know, did it hurt?” you questioned, however, your father looked confused. You had to admit, you were under the impression most were intimidated to be standing in front of a villain. Your father, however, continued to stand tall. You somehow knew he wouldn’t back down unless you forced him to and you’d get to that soon enough. “Did it hurt when you thought I disappeared? Tell me, did you think about that night? How you always favored Izuku over me!? Do you wish you could have hugged me instead? Do you ever regret treating me like shit!?” you snapped, your bloody spit flying as you grew angrier.
All Might held his hands up, “Y/n...of course I-” you interrupted him, “You wanted to keep me a secret from everyone, right!? Didn’t want your heroic name tainted because you had a bastard child, is that it!?” you growled, your teeth scraping together and you hoped your glare would physically make him burst into flames. Yet, you watched as his eyes softened and he lowered his hands. He glanced to the side and silence filled the air, “WELL!?” you snapped, clearly wanting an answer. Instead, you heard him sigh and he slowly looked back at you.
“I...I was never ashamed of you, Y/n. I…” his response made your stomach twist and you nearly gagged, his words were sickening. “You’re so full of shit,” you said with a low chuckle, “It’s funny, I never thought the former symbol of peace would be a liar. How does it feel, father? To know this destruction, all of this!” you exclaimed as you held your arms out, hands and fingers curling in an almost happy motion. “Is because of you. I should have had One For All, I should have been your successor. But, you never...you never wanted that did you!? No, instead you chose a pathetic little weakling to carry your precious quirk. Well, you know what. I’m here to kill him,” All Might’s eyes widened.
“Oh, here’s something else you might find shocking, I hope it hurts. I didn’t just disappear from the hospital, no. In fact, long before that. I had gotten a mysterious text, somehow the person who sent the text knew I was your daughter. One thing led to another and I came to find out, your sworn enemy. You know, the man you inflicted pain upon, took away his pride and his eyes. Came to me,” you saw a flicker of hate shine in your father’s eyes. “He saw potential in me, where you didn’t. Promised I could become something that the world would look up to, he believed in my skills, unlike you. He even asked me to be his successor which I gladly am!” you growled before bending your knees, your tongue came out to swipe across your lips.
Though you tasted dirt and iron, “Now that you’re a quirkless loser, I think this will be easy,” you activated your original quirk, it was nothing compared to the more powerful quirks one could be born with. But, it was strong enough to get the job done and you wanted the satisfaction of being able to kill your father with your own power. Hear that jawbone snap and watch as his blood spilled. With that blissful thought, you kicked off the ground. Bending your body so you could perform a direct uppercut to his jaw, it seemed All Might was still in shock. Which meant, he had no defense.
He could only accept the fact that karma was finally here to bite him in the ass. You smiled as you got closer, hand raised and fingers curled tightly together. But, as usual, nothing was ever that easy. You could hear a scream, and just before you turned your head to look. You saw Izuku’s fist come, “Leave him alone!” he cried and you quickly turned your body in an effort to stop him. Instead of your fist reaching All Might, it collided with Izuku’s. You could feel your knuckles snap and break, which caused pain to shoot through your already damaged arm and shoulder.
You growled, feeling the impact begin to force you back. Your feet were being forcibly moved along the limited ground despite the fact you were desperately digging them into the earth. “Stop. It,” you demanded with a hiss, you knew any further and you wouldn’t have solid ground. Your eyes were half-lidded and through the swirling debris, you could make out his facial expression. No surprise, he was pretty pissed. “You’re not going to hurt him or anyone else!” Izuku screamed and your eyes widened when he pulled his arm back.
You cursed yourself for not dodging or at least attempting to create distance, for that fist came back and collided with your face. Your head forcibly turned to the side and your jaw, along with a few select teeth broke. This only caused more blood to fill your mouth. A cry of pain left you, only to be swallowed as you choked on the blood that found its way down your throat. The next thing that occurred was your body flying, only to be stopped when your back collided with the sharp jagged edge of what was once the street.
Blood dripped down your chin, thick lines making their way down your neck and soaking into the collar of your tattered shirt. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as you then fell forward, your body disappearing into the darkness. You felt the impact of several metal pipes hit your body, it almost seemed like they were working together. Every hit to your body caused an agonizing surge of pain and you partly wished you had just died. A weak cry escaped you when you finally hit solid ground.
You had fallen into a puddle of water and you could hear the sound of mice squeaking in this otherwise quiet place. You groaned in pain, feeling every part of your body ache. You were too afraid to move, knowing the slightest of movement would cause a violent wave of pain that was enough to paralyze you as a whole. You knew your jaw was broken, you doubted it was still connected on the side Izuku had punched. Blood continued to pour from your mouth and you swore one of your ribs had pierced through your lung.
Every time you tried to breathe, you ended up weakly coughing blood back up. Another groan came and you quietly spoke, “D-Did...I...do...good?” the question went unanswered and darkness clouded your vision. On the surface, All Might was still in shock. “Y/n!” he cried as he ran to the edge of the caved-in road, it was almost like a sinkhole. It would be hard to spot a human down below, but All Might still tried to make out your figure. He was clearly angry, his small skinny body trembling as he curled his fists and turned to face Izuku.
“What the hell were you thinking, kid!?” he snapped, which confused Izuku, “I…I was only trying to p-protect you, All Might. She w-was going to hit you and-” All Might shook his head, “That’s not how you handle a situation like that, if I was her target-ah. Forget it,” he growled before pointing, “Go down there and find her!” he snapped and Izuku took a step back. He was almost afraid All Might would hit him if he didn’t follow through with the order. He opened his mouth, about to speak his opinion when a dark and eerie chuckle came.
All For One was watching the whole spectacle from a distance. He felt rather amused during the first half of the battle, he was quite pleased to know how much pain and damage your body could take. How well the quirks he gave you were adjusting to your body, though he believed you had poorly chosen when to use your quirks and for what purpose. Nothing more training couldn’t fix. Still, All For One used his Warping quirk to appear before All Might and Izuku. Foolishly, Izuku activated his quirk. Ready to jump and attack, but All Might put his arm out and pressed it against Izuku’s chest.
A fair enough motion to get his point across, “Seems you’re a little shocked, All Might. I must say, I expected a little more fight out of your successor. Of course, I suppose enough of a punishment for you is not only seeing your successor fail just as you have failed but knowing your own selfish actions caused your only daughter to turn against you,” All Might lowered his brows, his lips turned in a frown. Yes, there were many ways he could have been a better father to you. Showed you he cared and took your feelings into consideration. But, nothing would change the result of this.
Izuku growled, desperately fighting the urge to jump and start another fight. Despite his body already being damaged, everything made sense now. All For One corrupted your mind, made you turn against your loved ones. His jaw tightened and his fists shook as he lowered his head, “All Might...I c-can’t forgive him, he...he poisoned Y-Y/n’s mind!” he hissed, feeling his anger slowly begin to consume him, and while All Might agreed. It didn’t appear like All For One had come to cause more damage, more than likely he was only retrieving you. 
It made your father sick thinking what further corruption All For One would expose you to. It hurt him, knowing he couldn’t save you. Knowing he had no choice in the matter of your fate, “I know…” he whispered sadly as he lowered his arm, believing Izuku would behave himself. “Don’t worry, you’ll see, Y/n again. Very soon,” his words almost seemed like a threat. Another warp gate appeared beside All For One and Izuku had already assumed the villain had collected you. 
He screamed out when the evil man disappeared into the darkness of that warp gate and All Might immediately restrained him. Wrapping his arms around the green-haired boy, though it wasn’t an easy task. “Calm down! You’re already injured enough. There is nothing we do for now,” he tried to reason, but Izuku continued to carry on. Violent tears streaming down his face, yet there was a hint of determination shining in his eyes. He would save you, he would make this right. 
You could feel yourself floating, at first you assumed you were dead. However, you could still wiggle your fingertips which you took as a good sign. But, you still felt weighed down by something. Slowly you opened your eyes, seeing your world was tinted blue and air bubbles floated past your vision. Your hair was floating in separate strands around you and it quickly clicked you were submerged in water. You reached up, touching the mask that was strapped to your face and your fingertips brushed the plastic tube that came along with it. 
More than likely that was the source providing you with oxygen. You then looked at your hand, noticing it was scarred up. Your arm seemed to be the same, long jagged dark lines ran from your wrist to your inner elbow. You assumed a massive amount of scar tissue made up your shoulder, but at least the pain you remember having before blacking out was gone. You weren’t sure if that was something you should be grateful for. 
You glanced around, you could make out several machines on the outside of the glass. Each one flashed with a particular sequence of lights, which confused you. However, the most familiar thing was a small television in the corner of the room. You could see shots of the damage you had done to the city, you couldn’t read the headline that flashed on the bottom of the screen. But, your eyes widened when you saw the scene switch to your father. 
You leaned forward, pressing one hand to the glass as you watched your father speak. He looked tired, shocked, and utterly disappointed. You could tell there was hurt in his eyes, well...it was what he deserved, right? You leaned back, nearly choking on your own gasp when you heard the sound of a heavy door open. You could hear chattering, but to you in your water prison, it sounded like nothing but water currents. You saw two figures come into view, one was short and wore a white lab coat, and the other you recognized as All For One.
“How pathetic, All Might begging for his daughter back,” he hissed, clearly disgusted at such a thing. It was amusing to a point when a hero fell, but now it was just pitiful. He crossed his arms before turning to look at you and for some reason, you felt a small amount of fear consume you. He walked over and pressed a hand against the glass that separated you. “Don’t worry now, my beautiful successor. You did well, I am very proud of you. Don’t be scared now, your body should be stable enough to handle more quirks,” he leaned closer, and his shadow cast over you.
Though his words were unrecognizable to you, the feeling of uncertainty made your stomach twist. “Then you’ll succeed where I failed, All Might won his battle against me, yes. But you, you will win against his successor and pave the path for a better world.” you shivered when he tapped the glass and turned away from you. Becoming All For One’s successor was not an easy task, you knew this from the start. But part of you couldn’t help but wonder what step was next and if you truly wanted it.  
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summonerscenarios · 3 years
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Triton and Jinn reactions to seeing what they think is a hickey on MCs neck when its actually a bruise they got in a non app battle fight. But they go teacher mode and try to be adults for MC and try to at least see if MC is being responsible sex wise. But MC just thinks their being scolded for getting hurt in a fight. So MC's like "Oh this? *gestures to bruise from getting punched in the throat* these two guys went at me at the same time and I was gasping for air after" Triton: I- you what? "Yeah you can ask kengo about it if you want, he saw" Jinn: Kengo was there?? Shenanigans ensue.
sdfghjhjgfd listen with the way Jinn and Triton react to the smallest things you just know that this whole thing would be a mess - but a fun one at the same time!
----
It’s a hell of a bruise - not your first one, and definitely not your last - but as far as bruises go this one’s definitely a pain. Getting socked right in the neck is nowhere near a pleasant experience, and the mark that it left behind was now glaringly obvious, branching between your collarbone and the side of your neck. When you’d fist got in the tussle the bruise was a glaring deep red against your skin, but by the time you’d finally made it to school in one piece it had gradually evened out into a reddy purple shade - still sore and evident against your skin, but there was nothing you could do about it now. As far as you were concerned, it wasn’t anything you worry about, so you’d just hid what you could beneath your shirt collar and went about your day as usual, figuring that nothing would come out of it given your tendency to get into trouble.
Turns out you avoid catching someone’s eye just long enough to get through the first period. Mr. Jinn had been a stand in for the usual teacher of the class, and the fact that you’d kept a relatively low profile in class meant that he didn’t even notice until everyone was filtering out of the classroom. He just happened to look up right before you’d slipped out of the door to follow Kengo, caught sight of the mark peeking out from inside your collar, and damn near keeled over at the sight. For what it’s worth, the bruise makes for a believable hickey, so it’s a natural reaction to freak out at the sight of one on his student, however Jinn has no idea how he’s going to confront you about it - because of course he has to, right? As your teacher he has to make sure that you’re being safe at the very least! Not knowing how to bring the ‘situation’ up to you, Jinn turns to his fellow teachers - it just so happens that the closest one nearby is Mr. Triton, who upon hearing what Jinn saw shouts loud enough that everyone in a mile radius probably heard him. Together, the pair of them decide that the best course of action is to set up a teacher intervention for you, if only to warn you to be careful with your health and to practice safe sex.
Next thing you know you’re back in the classroom, giving the two teachers standing in front of you confused glances over the juice box you’d managed to snag from the cafeteria before they’d dragged you into this ‘meeting’. You have no idea what they could have pulled you in for - in all honesty it could be just about anything, given your track record as the school’s  officially titled problem child - but given the serious expressions mirrored on both of their faces, you know they mean business. Maybe they found out about that scuffle before school? Kengo wouldn’t have ratted you out, but you wouldn’t put it past another student recognizing you and deciding to let the teachers know. If that is the case then you’re absolutely gonna get chewed out about it, and the thought of sitting through one of Triton’s long winded morality lessons again has you taking another anxious sip of your drink, watching them carefully to see which one’s going to start talking first.
When Jinn finally levels you with that knowing teacher look and tells you that they know what you’ve been doing, your immediate thought is ‘Shit, they do know about the fight.’ and you straighten up in your seat, already mentally planning your defense. If they know about the tussle, then chances are your best bet is to come clean - maybe if you can talk your way out of this they won’t tell Mr.Mononobe - if Triton’s disappointed teacher face is bad, Mononobe is guaranteed to crank up the guilt when he finds out. Both Triton and Jinn seem taken about by how willingly you are to talk about it, but they let you explain.
“Look,” you start, after a moment of deliberation “For what it’s worth, I swear I didn’t mean to do it.” They don’t seem convinced, if anything they both look confused at your words, but when they don’t pry further you continue. Maybe they’re just worried about the bruise? With that thought in mind you tug down the collar of your shirt and gesture to the bruise with a reassuring grin. “See? This is nothing. Trust me, I normally deal with way worse than this when guys wanna come at me!”
“W-Worse?” Triton sputters at how casually you admit to it, and you don’t miss the worried glance that the two teachers give one another at your bold statement, but you have no idea what they assume you’re talking about as you nod confidently and keep talking, completely oblivious to their responses.
“Usually I’m used to taking just one. But two? At the same time? No wonder I got roughed up a bit - i’ve only got two hands, yknow!” you chuckle at your own joke, shrugging and leaning back against the nearest chair as you rub your knuckles thinking back to the swings you were able to get in before you’d chased those guys off.  Jinn just about chokes on the air and Triton looks absolutely mortified, looking anywhere but at you. The pair of them are already assuming the worst, and just when they can’t think it can get anywhere you chime in with: “Yeah, they were rough - but don’t worry, I finished them off fast! Just ask Kengo, he’ll vouch for me!” 
“KENGO WAS THERE?!” The teachers yell in unison, loud enough that you’re convinced that wherever Kengo was right now he definitely heard it. That seems to finally be the cracking point, because no sooner have the words left their mouths two hands clap onto your shoulders and you’re fixed with an identical pair of serious expressions. They say your name in a tone that sounds almost like an admonishing parent, and you have to stop yourself from rolling your eyes at how serious they’re taking this.
You were expecting the whole teacher talk, so the moment they start up with the ‘As your teachers it’s our responsibility to ensure your safety’ spiel you’re already sinking into your shirt, only half paying attention to what they’re saying because you know it’s just going to be the usual - stop getting into fights even if you weren’t the one that started them. It’s only once Jinn mentions something about talking to Mononobe about setting up classes to talk about being careful with these kinds of things do you perk up, giving them a baffled stare as you ask. “What, you’re going to set up fighting classes? Like self defense?”
The blank looks you get back only make you more confused as they parrot your words back to you with baffled looks, and your brows furrow further at the sheer disbelief on their faces. Okay...you’re beginning to feel really out of the loop here. Before they can say anything you tentatively ask. “Wait, what did you think I was talking about?” And just like that you watch the two adults before you dissolve into fumbling, embarrassed messes. Triton keeps opening and closing his mouth, starting to come up with an excuse only to clam back up then rinse and repeat; Jinn’s not faring much better, stammering and huffing as he rubs the back of his neck and tries to laugh off the whole situation. 
You don’t believe them for a second, and the fact that they’re both starting to turn red at their blunder only further buries the argument, only getting more flustered when you continue to pry, genuinely wondering what’s wrong. You either have no idea what they were on about, or just want to get them to admit it. However you don’t get the chance to coax the truth out of them before your teachers pretty much guide you out of the classroom. They’re ‘reassuring’ you that they’ll resolve the situation and you aren’t in any trouble before promptly closing the door in your face, leaving you even more bewildered over the whole encounter - honestly, you just want answers...and your juice back.
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nikosheba · 3 years
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Okay I read your defense of Turin & yeah!! I also did not like his chapter in the Silmarillion but CoH has left me very much spiraling about him and what he represents - elvish vs mortal perspectives, doom & reactions to it, possibility of overcoming it, etc... I don't always like him but I LOVE thinking about him (and characters around him!) and there's so much more to Turin's story than like. a tragic unlikable guy, and I get why it's one of the chief 3 stories of the whole legendarium
Yeah!!! He really frustrates me sometimes--it was only like two months ago that I was like....oh man how am I going to write Turleg when Túrin is such a piece of work lmao. And I started rereading CoH looking for quotes, and the more I flipped through that book, the more I fell in love with him. 
Part of it is, I can’t think of anyone else in all of the Tolkien legendarium who just...cannot understand how other people think, the way Túrin does. He’s always fair with other people (this is stated outright with the Gaurwaith), and cannot understand why people aren’t fair with him. He never comprehends that he’s being deceived--which I think is unfair to lay on his shoulders tbh. 
One great example of how he just cannot understand other people, even other humans, is the knife-giving scene (which I believe is cut out of the Silm), which just totally encapsulates the frustration of him all at once. For those who haven’t read CoH, at one point when he’s very young, his father gives him a very fancy knife of elvish make. It’s Túrin’s last birthday before the Nirnaeth Arnoediad, not that he knows it. Túrin then immediately runs out to find his best friend, a lame older man named Sador who does little woodworking projects for Morwen and Húrin, and gives him the knife, entirely not understanding why this would be perceived as a bad thing. So it’s very like:
In Túrin’s mind: Got lovely knife > Sador does a lot of woodworking > the knife made me happy to receive > it will help Sador in his work > give Sador the knife
But no one else sees it like that. Húrin is fine with it but a bit baffled, and tells Túrin basically, “Fine, but idk when I’ll be able to get you another knife like that.” Morwen actively dislikes this, and says that she thinks it’s useless to give something so fine to someone who’s just going to waste it. Even Sador is unhappy, because Edain custom says he can’t refuse the gift, but he knows it’s far beyond what he even can make use of, and that he cannot give it back to his young master without causing offense.
So here we have a 8-9 year old boy (sorry my copy is downstairs, I forget whether he’s 8 or 9), who has something nice happen to him and immediately his first thought is to pay it forward, and he winds up making everyone unhappy. And that just sort of....sets the tone for his life. 
It isn’t that he doesn’t love Finduilas. He does! He loves her like a sister--and textually, he never even really understands that she’s in love with him. She hints it, but she never tells him outright, and he is baffled when people talk to him about her in a romantic context. But he loves her! Like a friend and a sister--and has no idea why Finduilas’s mysterious (to him) feelings mean that now Gwindor, his friend who saved him from his madness, is angry with him, or why people keep placing this huge emphasis on his relationship with her.
The really tragic thing about Túrin, for me, is that he’s not genre-savvy. He thinks he’s in a Great Hero Tale, and has no idea he’s in a tragedy. I’ve said before that Children of Húrin feels like a dark inversion of Tolkien’s work to me. Acts of heroism are unrewarded. Acts of love are punished. Valiant stands get everyone around you killed. Beleg “yields to his love over his wisdom” and dies for it. There’s no reason that Túrin should have known the lovely maiden who kept begging him to marry he was his sister--he yields to his own love, and they both die for it, along with their unborn child. (For the record: he does love her, it’s not one-sided, she just wants to hustle the relationship along because it’s wartime and she fears to lose him, and he wants to wait for a more peaceful time.)
He even casts his sword aside at one point and is determined to live a peaceful life. But peace will not find him, and he is forced to take up the sword again, because his bow can do nothing against Glaurung.
A good portion of the angry, violent things he does are actually in defense of those who can’t defend themselves, or in defense of women. He’s oddly chivalric--with Saeros, his cry is, “Run, mocker of women!” When he goes back to Dor-Lómin, it isn’t until Brodda brags about sexually assaulting Túrin’s aunt-figure and scorns Túrin’s mother that Túrin goes super violent on him--and again, in anyone else’s story, killing Brodda would be the stuff of great songs. Alone he goes into a fortress that was stolen from his birthright, to find that there’s a drunken, abusive, cruel tyrant in his father’s place, and Túrin rouses the downtrodden, kills the usurpers, and casts out the rest. 
And everyone blames him for it. They tell him he shouldn’t have, even though they fought alongside him, because now more wil come, and they will suffer for it. Túrin even begs them to come with him to Doriath or at least Brethil--he was safe there, after all--and they refuse, preferring to starve in the mountains or commit suicide in Dor-Lómin rather than follow him on a difficult trek.
ETA: I forgot to add that he also becomes Captain of the Gaurwaith because he kills Forweg to protect Larnach’s daughter; he never questions what’s going on, he just sees a girl with torn clothes being chased and immediately murders the guy chasing her--and when he sees that it’s Forweg he doesn’t exactly feel bad about it, just offers to do the same to Andróg if Andróg doesn’t start drinking his Respect Women Juice.
Anyway YEAH I also love thinking about him...and the fact that Elrond names him as one of the great Elf-Friend Heroes in LotR makes me so freaking emotional every time, WOW. The fact that the Lay of the Children of Húrin was composed by a minstrel in Sirion, that Elrond would have heard it as a little child and remembered him as an Elf-Friend and a Hero, makes me absolutely SOFT inside. 
Túrin did legitimately deserve better. He deserved to be in the story he thought he was in. And dammit, I’m a fanfiction writer, I’m going to give it to him.
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dreamsmp-au-ideas · 3 years
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I was going to actually post this before asks closed (didn’t get the chance), but Teddy Bear Anon, you are one of my favorite people and a magnificent creature. You get my vibe. 
About Bad canonically being Sapnap’s dad I feel like that has so much extra angst potential when we consider the rest of the found family. Like. Sapnap, Tommy, and Fundy all have dads who started with the best of intentions but for one reason or another ended up slowly becoming a danger to them. I imagine Tommy and Fundy one day showing up with a cake and telling Sapnap “We regretfully welcome you to the shit dad club” and Sapnap is torn between being upset still and laughing over the absurdity of the situation.
Bonus points if Tommy made the cake using a recipe book that Niki gave him, the last gift Niki ever gave to Tommy. Tommy was originally a really bad cook/baker but after the egg really started to take over he went full survivalist. Leaning to cook was necessary but learning to bake was something he did as a way to raise everyone’s spirits. He’s never gotten the flavor quite to match with Niki’s perfectly but everyone agrees he’s gotten pretty decent in terms of skills. He and Fundy in particular will sometimes just spend an entire day in silence baking and then quietly eat their creations while reflecting on the friends they’ve made and lost over the course of L'manberg’s lifetime. When the group got back to the past and Niki made cookies for Tommy and Fundy the pair very nearly started crying.
Tommy is in an interesting position as a character since he did commit a lot of minor crimes and acted as a general nuisance but he was also still a child. (A very traumatized one considering I canonize SMP Earth with its unlimited lives but even more wars. Including against God. Tommy fought God just let me have this.) He acknowledges the moments when he went over the line and has tried to apologize. In particular at some point before the egg fully takes over he pulls aside Jack and tells him that he’s sorry for the way he acted when he was still in exile, taking one of Jack’s lives and all. Jack and Niki in particular are an interesting subject to address and a painful one for immune!Tommy to think about when he sees younger Niki because the three never fully tossed out the hatchet but it was obvious in the eyes of someone like Sam that both of them were growing more and more hesitant to hurt Tommy. It was made worse by the fact neither were even marginally immune, and it didn’t take long for the egg to get to them.
He never stopped being chaotic. Tommy at his core is just that kind of person. He did, however, grow up enough to act in a more mature manner. Started to recognize what’s too much. In particular he became a lot less violent and willing to lash out after Sam Nook in essence reparented him. He’s still an absolute wild card of a person, which in the eyes of Sam and Sapnap is a good thing. For this au I think we should actually address Tommy having severe ptsd and during the building of his hotel/the early days of the egg before it becomes a noticeable threat it shows. He’s a lot more subdued. Shows of aggression all carry a kind of desperation and his typical jokes feel flat. Lashing out at people slowly becomes more of a defense mechanism to see if someone’s going to leave or betray him, to test the limits of how nice they’re willing to be. After all, nice people have only ever been nice to Tommy when they wanted something from him. His eyes, especially after L'manberg is blow sky high, are well and truly gray. The first time Tommy genuinely laughs after filling Sapnap’s room with chickens is considered celebration worthy to them. His pranks take on a more hermitcraft-esque feel to them which honestly makes them more funny.
By the time they get to the past Tommy has recovered, but he still carries the kind of maturity that like Teddy Bear mentioned is reminiscent of age swap Tommy. When he gets especially stressed though, Immune!Tommy will slip into moments where he acts as tired and done with the world as age swap Tommy. With that said, most of the time he just acts like a more mature Tommy. Nothing could ever completely erase his unique vibe which Ranboo has gone on record as describing “Willing to fight God deaf, blind, and backwards just to prove a point." 
Immune Fundy and Tommy get on really well once Fundy manages to catch up with the rest of the group. It gets to the point where everyone from the past is kinda shocked since smp Fundy and Tommy do not get along. At all. Literally the first night Fundy’s back someone goes to wake them up and they find Fundy asleep on top of Tommy which is a wild experience since this Tommy is a goliath who often refuses to take off his full Netherite max enchant armor. He really becomes a "looks like he could kill you but is actually a cinnamon roll” kinda mans.
Also, yeah, this is Dream’s retirement arc. He is literally just sitting in the corner watching Tommy dote on his younger self and Tubbo before completely pile driving two of the most powerful people on the server straight into the dirt. At some point Tommy sits down with past Punz. He tells this Punz that their Punz died protecting him and Tubbo and that Tommy never got to properly thank their Punz so he’s going to thank this Punz. Tommy then gives Punz an entire stack of Netherite. If we’re gonna go ahead and agree on Phoenix Tommy then Tommy is fire proof, meaning he probably spent a large amount of time in the nether to avoid the egg crew and get rare supplies. Meaning he also probably did a lot of mining just to distract himself and it resulted in him being loaded. Tommy used to have a fear of tnt and explosives but he seems like the type of mad lad to say “exposure therapy” and make a massive cavern in the underbelly of the nether.
I think it would also be really interesting to dedicate like, a couple of chapters to other people’s perspectives. I kind of want to set the time they arrive in the past partway through the Pogtopia arc since I like mildly unhinged but not completely gone Wilbur. Plus then it also makes more sense for Techno to be there. Just prefer the aesthetic really. I want to have Wilbur see this version of Tommy and come to a sudden “oh” moment. I want to have a moment where Tubbo looks between his Tommy and this new Tommy, seeing himself nowhere to be found, and has enough what the fuck moments to become aggressively protective of his own Tommy. Especially if immune!Tommy ever admits to the past Tubbo why he is the way he is, what he faced under the thumb of the people he trusted. Which, out of everyone on the server, Tubbo would be the first one from the past to actively learn. 
I am fully on board with Tommy knowing how to sew. That should just automatically be canon in literally ever AU. Tommy for all intents and purposes is still Phil’s child for me. Survival runs in the family the same way that chaos does, so he’s got a ton of basic survival skills that he just doesn’t show off because it’s still Tommy. He would have been completely fine in exile if it wasn’t for Dream. Whenever someone ruins their clothes in the Immune group they automatically go to Tommy and at first the past versions are very confused (except for past Tommy and Tubbo obviously) and then Tommy’s just “Sapnap this is beyond ruined it can’t be saved, let me make you something new” and within a couple days he makes Sapnap a completely new outfit. Like maybe Sapnap fell into a lava pool because Blaze Sapnap Supremacy and his clothes are beyond saving and everyone is beyond baffled when Tommy just acts like this is a weekly occurrence. He’s memorized Sapnap’s measurements and style tastes and already had a new outfit in the works for him that Sapnap immediately adores upon it being presented to him. It takes about a week for past Eret to learn that Tommy stress sews new clothing and he cannot think of a better model. Eret has never had such a full closet. Eret has everything from three piece suits to ball gowns now. Eret lives in terror of the days where Tommy disappears god knows where with Fundy and the two reappear with a new wardrobe for the entire god damn server. 
Speaking of disappearing I really like the idea of part phoenix and part tanuki Tommy for a couple reasons. Being a Tanuki he’d have access to enough magic to hide his hybrid traits, which if they’ve been present for long enough would be a necessity to him. Additionally think about Fundy and Tommy building a den under Church Prime that slowly turns into a maze. Think about it. It starts off simple and then they both start digging more and it gets deeper and deeper and more complicate and the two just refer to it as their den and the only ones who are fully aware of the connotations of that word are Sam, Sapnap, and Ranboo who remember the absolute hell that was trying to navigate the original. Just Fundy and Tommy bonding over the fact they are literally the only creatures on this server that have this catacomb memorized and at the end of the catacomb is their saferoom which connects to rail way that the two spent a month straight on. It goes at least 25k blocks from spawn and it’s a final emergency resort in case they can’t stop the egg and the Immunes needs to regroup and essentially try again (if they keep bringing their younger selves with them then hopefully they’ll finally get an army large enough to stop this, but everyone really hopes it doesn’t come to that.)
I’m working on the first chapter of my fic right now actually if I’m gonna be honest and phoenix Tommy is absolutely without question canon to it but I’ve still been going back and forth on if I want him to be part tanuki as well or just blessed/favored by one like Teddy Bear mentioned. I’m also tucking away the whole thing about the magma blood for later use. Phoenix Tommy just makes sense. They used to call him Zombie Kid for a reason back on SMP Earth, he just literally does not die ever unless he decides he does.
~Snapdragon & Firefly
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enha-woodzies · 3 years
Text
➸ CHAPTER 6 | " AT LONG LAST PT. 1 "
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starring: enhypen ft. i-land daniel
pairing: jungwon x fem!reader x sunghoon
genres: royal au, romance, angst, slowburn, 18th century setting
word count: 2.5k
taglist: @serendipitysung (betareader) @angeljungwon @en-sun @affectionaterainoflove @renkiv @softforjungwoo @jislix @fluffi @gyeraniee @stxrryemxlys
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[ PREV. CHAPTER ] | [ M. LIST ] | [ NEXT CHAPTER ]
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To be promenaded in front of the entire ton is one of every lady’s desires. From the piercing stares of the envious, to the love-struck looks of those smitten by the pair, the two most-loved couple of this season gracefully saunters from the cemented pathway and down to the grassy lawn, ever so politely greeting Northumberland with their warmest and charming presence.
The young marquess joins the young miss’ family under the canopy near the lake. With a hand draping over Sunghoon’s arm, Lord Niki mutters swears to the gods for lightning to strike upon the chap, as the gagging sight of his sister along with his most despised douche is gradually sucking the life out of him.
“Good morning!” Sunghoon greets the family and so did Lady Park. Jay gives away a polite nod followed by a toast of the teacup, whereas the almost always brooding Niki responds with an exaggerated rolling of his eyes.
“Your Grace. Always the charmer, aren't we?” Niki jeers to which Jay chokes on his warm, jasmine tea.
“The smoothest at being one, Riki.” The name rolls naturally off his tongue like a snake’s hiss that roused Niki’s ire. The boy could feel the crescendo of his spite, yet he eases it casually with a sly smirk.
“Smooth like a snake, perhaps? I anticipate those fangs in action.” Niki surprisingly snaps back. Jay clears his throat as he whispers to Niki in hopes to prevent him from further fumes, although he knows it would be of no use.
Sunghoon scoffs in return, “need I remind you that I shall deliver if provoked. However tempting that may be right now, I regret to inform you that I’m only here to promenade your sister and impress your dear mother.”
“I do hope she turns you down in the most painful way possible, Your Grace. I find my sister's taste in men quite genteel. Surely, you're aware of how opposed you are to that considering your…” Niki walks closer to the marquess to give an exclusive barb against his ear, “nasty record.” He brushes off imaginary dust off Sunghoon’s shoulder before bumping against it, “Good day to you two!”
“Oh dear, your brother is making me worried. Is he alright?” Lady Park whispers to Jay and the gent soothes their mother by softly massaging her hands, rubbing circles on the back of her palm, “he's just going through puberty, mother.”
“Is that so? I don't remember you having those episodes before. Furthermore, I apologize, Your Grace. Rest assured it won't happen again. I will definitely see to it.”
“No worries entirely. It's Niki after all, he may be a tough handful but as far as I recall he's completely-”
“Held back? Are those the words you were going for?” Jay cuts off. 
“You're quite forgetting the fact that I’m right here.” Y/n attempts to intrude only to be silenced by her brother once again. With his head held high, Jay saunters up to Sunghoon, who is almost the same height as him. Locking eyes with the chap, he simpers, “come, Your Grace, I require a brief moment with you. Excuse us for a bit, sis.”
And with that, the men left the canopy, leaving Y/n and her mother utterly baffled with the uncalled tension.
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The sound of paper being folded into an almost crumple echoes around the parlour, where the only sound that existed prior was deafening silence from the three men sitting across each other.
The culprit was none other than Yang Jungwon, who appears to be insulted from what he just read. Throwing off the now crumpled paper, Daniel perfectly catches it mid-air and opens it in haste.
Sunoo takes a gander at the Daily Tattle’s contents that Daniel incoherently mutters. Jungwon carefully studies his brother's reaction as Sunoo’s smile quickly transforms into shock, followed by the furrowing of his eyebrows with his mouth ajar; the final gesture, shooting a questioning look-- with his mouth still ajar-- at one of the scandal’s subjects.
“Surely, me asking two dances from you was already too cheap but, one, brother? Are you seriously being expensive right now?" The eldest exclaims.
"One that is very exclusive and controversial, might I add." Daniel chimes in. “What was all that about?"
"Remind me why I need to explain myself to the both of you?" Jungwon monotonously replies with his eyes fixed on the book he was now reading.
“Because we ought to know?”
“Well, if not to us, at least to Y/n?"
“Good god. Why is she in this conversation all of a sudden?"
"Because you pulled a dick move on her and we ought to know what's going on inside that brain of yours! You're so dense. Must we shake you up to shrug off those lil rust in there?"
"Oh, shut up, Daniel."
“That thing you did there? With her? Was very unlikely of you, Jungwon." Sunoo stands from his seat and transfers to Jungwon’s side on the couch.
"Well, what is like me then?"
"Spit it out or Daniel and I are gonna have to annoy you for the whole week.”
Jungwon slams the book on the couch and lets out an exasperated sigh before grunting out loud. "I just wanted to be alone with her, okay?! Are you pleased now?"
"Wait. You like her, don't you?”
“No, I don't! And I would never for heaven's sake."
“But you want to be alone with her. Isn't that what people do when they're in love?" Daniel rubs his chin in thought.
“Oh, god! Whatever lets the both of you sleep at night then. Assume the worst for all I care." The heated gent lifts himself up from the couch and strides towards the exit.
“Where are you going?”
“Away from the two of you. You won't stop annoying me either way, so I’m gonna get myself some cleaner air.” Jungwon slams the door shut behind him for a relieving walk to the woods.
“Now he's mad.”
“All we ever said was the truth, didn't we?”
“He is pretty rusty, alright.”
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Y/n visits the Kielder Forest once again to run away from the stressful men of this morning’s promenade. She could've stayed in her fortress, but because of their foolish ruse, she had to show up. Now her brothers had to meddle with the already confusing mess.
Pages from the borrowed Austen book are now being flicked through again. She couldn't concentrate no matter how hard she tried, as Niki’s words still lingered in her mind.
“What nasty record could he have?” She mutters under her breath. Soon after, crunching of leaves startles her, and she realizes her whispers weren't the only noise around. Y/n dashes out of her sheer fort only to be welcomed by her most coveted man ever.
"What are you doing here?!" Jungwon asks in an angry kind of worry.
"What are you doing here?"
"Taking a walk, obviously?"
"Well, I’m reading. Obviously." Y/n sassily blinks at him, to which he returns a slightly puzzled look.
"You're much aware that you shouldn't be here, let alone unchaperoned, right?"
"Well, good thing you're here!"
Y/n crouches down to re enter her fort now that she has a guest. She softly taps the extra pillow, gesturing Jungwon to join her in a momentary bliss. One that is very rare when it comes to the both of them, and something that the young miss has found herself accustomed to now. When it comes to Jungwon, he'll just leave her begging for more.
Was it simply luck that had caused him to turn down this pathway? Whatever it was, he didn't feel the need to complain. As of now, all he ever wanted was a piece of mind from his brother's interrogations about him and Y/n. Not fully realizing that the very person who triggered him to rush out of his house would be the one he was impossibly hoping to run into.
"You still have that?" Jungwon points his lips to the book she was flipping. She had borrowed it from him and had yet to return it after all these years.
"Are the inclusions still there?" He continues. Although he wishes he didn't. He recalls all the little notes he left on his favorite pages just to get his feelings across and now he chuckles at the mere thought of him playing Romeo.
"They are. They're kind of tattered now, but they're still comprehensible. You do have a remarkable penmanship after all, something that's very impossible to miss."
The boy chuckles at the thought. "You do mean those things you wrote here, right?" She concerningly asks to which Jungwon only shrugs his shoulder with lips shut tight. "Well, don't mind me 'cause I'd like to think that you did."
"Suit yourself." He mutters. Little did she know he was smiling to himself with flushed cheeks.
The boy looks around the interior of the fort while whistling to the air, followed by a few jabberjays mocking his tune. They chuckle over the memory and realize they had traveled back in time.
"Jay's going to get aggressive with me on fencing once he hears about this. I've been conspiring to keep his sister hidden." He playfully smirks.
"Do you remember we used to do this in the garden lawn? Playing hide and seek just to get a glimpse of Jay's maddening face." Y/n reminisces the good old times they both used to share. Although there were petty fights here and there, what conquered most was their endearing bond.
Jungwon looks over as he vividly remembers that exact memory, "and we ended up building a fort out of the picnic sheets we used to hide in and officially made it our castle" he adds.
"I've forgotten what it's like to feel young." Y/n lets out a deep sigh, minding the pressure she's bearing now that she's about to be offered to the life-long commitment that is marriage.
Jungwon looks over her, feeling all concerned with the worries that she might be facing as of late; things that he wouldn't have any knowledge of as a man.
Society has dictated women's place in the world as persons who are supposed to be emotional, submissive, and homely; something very opposed to those of men. Knowing Y/n well enough and how she enjoys her liberty, her own principles, Jungwon worries her future companion, if not him, would find her very indifferent and of no use in the long run.
And it pains him to think that she wouldn't be well off with someone even worse than him.
She deserves more and he knows that fully well.
"Well, I, for one, miss moments like this more than anything." He lightens the mood in hopes of seeing that beautiful smile on her face.
As he turns to her, the two lock eyes. In that moment, Yang Jungwon swore of laying out his long-hidden sentiments. Under normal circumstances, he would speak his mind. But with Y/n looking at him like this, he would most likely fuck things up.
And he fails himself yet again.
"So uhh… you and the duke-to-be, huh? That must be thrilling." He looks away and pretends to play with the twigs on the ground.
"Y-Yeah! Yeah, indeed, it is. The promenade went well today… before the two decided to sabotage it."
"Do tell."
"We're all aware of how Niki ultimately detests the marquess, aren’t we? He kind of uhh… insulted the man in front of mother."
"And… Jay?"
"Stole the marquess from me to have a word with him."
"I reckon he had many words with him."
Y/n chagrins at the imagination of Jay going head to head with the marquess. Being the overprotective one, Jay will go out of his way to expel threats in the family.
"You seem to be clearly aware of that. Yet you entertained His Grace anyway. I pity Niki. He must be going through a loophole of shit again, now that his dear sister's off strutting with that man." Jungwon blurts out, though he wishes he never did… again.
He is clearly rusty and he kind of admits it now.
"That man? Whatever's the matter with all of you?! You dare speak of him like you know what happened between him and my brother-"
"Y/n, we all went to the same university. What makes you think I know nothing?"
"That man you're referring to was just the man who saved me from an embarrassing night, no thanks to you."
Jungwon scoffs at her pettiness.
"Don't turn away with those remarks now. You toyed with me that night, left me there with nothing but utter shame to bring home. I'm sure you're very proud of that now."
Promenading would be every woman's desire, indeed. But being ghosted or fled from is something that every woman fears, especially when they've been shunned by someone they adore the most. Such shame and reproach haunts them for almost the rest of their lives, especially when the ton won't let them sleep at night with that reminder.
"Have you not at least any bit of politeness left in you? You must be ashamed, asking my brother for such favor that you cannot even put through yourself."
"I have my reasons."
"I highly doubt they're even valid." Y/n retorts. Jungwon sighs in exasperation, finding the situation rather unnecessary that he'd rather keep his mouth shut. She deserves to let her anger out after all.
"Whatever happened to you?" She mutters under her breath, looking over to the boy who kept his head hung low with his elbows leaning on his raised knees. "Sometimes, I look at you and see a completely different person. You know, I never learned to read your mind, Jungwon. So stop giving me all these silent treatments as if something happened even though nothing ever did."
Jungwon lets out a sharp exhale before poking his cheek with his tongue. "Stop seeing Sunghoon then. If you care so much about your brother, stop frolicking around with that scoundrel."
Y/n scoffs at him, followed by the rolling of her eyes, trying to stifle an untimely tear from falling.
"You're unbelievable! Just so you know, I've wasted many sleepless nights crying because of your stupid ass, and I still do for heaven's sake! But now it's very clear to me that there's no amount of crying left that I can do for you!"
Y/n groans heavily before standing up from the pillow she was sitting on, throwing the Austen book hardly on the cold ground.
"So much for hearing nothing but the truth from you, huh? I despise you, Jung. Very much."
She runs off from the boy for what seemed like the nth time. For the past years, this exact scene had happened. Jungwon closes his eyes and lets himself fall harshly on the pillows. He raises a hand over his head, looking at the gaps between his fingers thinking of how he let her slip away, again. He drowns himself in deep thoughts, all the while trusting that Y/n will forget this day ever happened, like before.
He knows she will.
At least, that's what he tells himself.
Though deep down, his stomach churns in fear.
And there's no one to blame but his damning pride.
*send me an ask or a message if you wish to be added on this series' taglist!
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canyouhearthelight · 3 years
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The Miys, Ch. 134
Since I am queueing this chapter the same that I queued the last one, I just want to say:
If you have found my story in the last week, and liked it, thank you. It makes me smile when that happens.
If you shared my story with others, and they liked it, or even found a little bit of themselves in it, I’m very glad. Thank you for sharing something with your friends that they enjoyed.
As always, thank you to @the-raven-fae, @anotherusrname, @baelpenrose, and @charlylimph-blog for being my ports in all storms and the family everyone deserves to have.
Annnd the podcast. Don’t miss the podcast!  I don’t profit from it in any way, shape, or form, but the idea of a version of this story that is more accessible for people who would struggle to read it is something that should always be supported! 
A week later, I was wincing and out of breath when I reached my office for the day.  Tyche had enthusiastically agreed with Arthur’s suggestion, and after some tests from Maverick showed that I could apparently kick hard enough to break a grown man’s pelvis - although not without also breaking my foot - I had been expected to be in the gym for nearly two hours every day.  My legs hurt and my feet looked worse than the time I tried to learn ballet en pointe.  As if that wasn’t bad enough, I was also apparently very slow in reacting with my legs as a result of years learning to fight with, you know, my hands. Like a normal person.  This meant I was also wearing five pound weights on each ankle, all day, including when sparring.
So far, the only thing I had noticed was a demonstrably shorter patience and a reduction in how much I bounced my legs. Or sat comfortably.
I was so absorbed in my bad mood and how badly my legs hurt that I had already gotten coffee, greeted my mentees, and sat at my desk before I noticed something out of place.  As usual, Parvati and Hannah were across from each other at the table they typically sat at, but Parvati was standing and demonstrating something.
While using the table emitter, which they only ever used for my benefit.
Tilting my head in what probably looked like what Sparkle’s expression when she was denied a treat, I watched as Parvati picked up a vaguely pen-shaped object - it really looked more like a sonic screwdriver than a writing implement - and started making neon pink lines of various widths, swirls to test the slant it would make, and using it at various speeds before closely considering the color of each line.
“What in the world is that?”
“Paint testers,” Hannah explained. “Charly dropped them off with Vati last night, along with the programming to simulate how they work so we could test them with an emitter and not a wall.”
“Paint?”
“For the Festival. Charly designed these for us to use instead of trying to get permission to use actual spray paint.  The fumes of spray paint are apparently very caustic to Noah.”
I shuddered. “Yeah, no spray paint, clearly.”
Apparently satisfied with the pink, Parvati keyed her datapad to clear the emitter and picked up a different pen.  This one was a beautiful lapis blue. “She’s quite brilliant,” she murmured as she tested the pen. “The pens work like an airbrush, but she took some inspiration from something Arthur Farro gifted her several years ago and ensured the pigment will only last three Ark-days.  It also only appears under certain lighting.”
“And it’s non-toxic, of course,” Hannah added with a smile. “Because, you know… Charly.”
I hesitated before asking the next question. “How non-toxic are we talking?”
To my utter horror, rather than respond, Parvati opened her mouth and used a different button on the pen to paint her entire tongue blue. “They’re edible.” She closed her mouth with a smile before her eyebrows shot up. “Oh! That one is pomegranate!”
Hannah furiously made notations on her datapad before looking back up at me. “Vati already tested them on canvas in her quarters, but we also wanted to make sure the simulation software works so that we don’t waste pigment trying to figure out the design elements.”
“We’re also rather curious about what flavor each one is,” Parvati admitted before swapping to a toxic-looking green. “This one is peach, I do remember that. The pink was popcorn.”
I shook my head. “Do you want people licking the walls? Because this is how you get people to lick the walls.” I walked over as I was speaking and idly picked up one that was labelled as Titan Black.
Hannah snatched it away quickly. “That one is scotch bonnet flavor. I found that out the hard way.”
“I get making them non-toxic, but why are they flavored?” Hannah arched an eyebrow at me and I held my hands up defensively. “Other than the obvious application. Why design flavored paint pens for the Food Festival murals?”
Parvati blanked the emitter again and swapped pens. “That is going to be part of the design and experience,” she started to explain. “We originally wanted them non-toxic in case of the non-zero event that Else tries to eat the paint off the walls.” I nodded since ‘non-zero’ was putting it lightly. “Then I had the idea to include the possibility of Else eating the mural into its design.  Rather than worry that Else will eat it, I am planning on it: I am going to create a piece that changes as the various colors are devoured.”
“Annnnnd how do you plan on controlling what order Else eats everything in?”
She waved to the row of pens on the table. “These are each in a flavor that we know Else likes. I am currently testing in my quarters what the order of preference is.”
As my mind started to catch up, I started nodding. “Your test swatches last night.”
“Precisely. I have them laying out in a grid, easily accessible to Else, and they are being monitored. We will take the recording and determine what the order of preference is from there.”
I shook my head with a huge grin. “That’s one hell of a performance art piece.”
Hannah straightened her posture in an imitation of Pravati’s normal ramrod-straight demeanor. “There is nothing more fitting for a celebration of how humanity persists in surviving, despite how transient and brief life can be, along with a clear showing of how we intend to welcome and embrace the differences between ourselves and those most different from us - even those who once nearly destroyed us but wished to make peace.”
“That’s frighteningly good,” Parvati praised nonchalantly as she squirted a fluorescent yellow into her mouth. “It makes no sense for that one to taste of something spicy.”
I took the pen and forced myself to spray it in my mouth. I perked up when it was actually very familiar and delicious. “It’s gochujang…” They both looked at me skeptically. “Apparently Else likes spicy food?”
“I’m starting to think this is how she flavors her popcorn,” Hannah murmured.
My head shook on that one. “No, all her popcorn is decidedly popcorn-flavored. The coloring is added while it is being made, along with the flavoring. Same thing with her ice-cream, and with the candy bars.”
“I agree,” Parvati added. “This pigment is quite wet, it would never work on something like popcorn.” Pausing in her testing, she turned to me. “She has made popcorn in your quarters before, did you notice how she colored it?”
I thought back to the movie night, fighting through how nostalgic and relaxing it made me feel. “It has to be a high-saturation powder.  Other than the actual oil she used to pop it, everything she put in was powdered.”
“But it was toffee popcorn,” Parvati argued. “I remember because it was such a lovely shade of purple.”
Hannah and I both glanced at each other before turning concerned looks to Parvati. I was the one who eventually spoke. “You make toffee popcorn by adding sugar and salt while it’s being popped, Vati. Both are powders.”
“And how am I supposed to know that?” she demanded with a scowl before picking up a pen.
I looked back at Hannah, who was as baffled as I was. “Vati? Do you cook?”
She scoffed. “Of course not. Xiomara is a brilliant cook, why would I give that up?”
“But you know how, right?” I prodded. “We always have cooking classes going on here.”
She decidedly ignored us.  I gaped at Hannah, who eventually crowed with laughter. “Oh my god! We found something Vati doesn’t know how to do!”
“Xio does make a wicked roti with veg curry,” I tried to defend her. If she was deflecting, Parvati clearly didn’t want to talk about it.
“And I can cook,” Parvati argued. “I can roast meat, and forage edible plants, and clean them both.”
“Works for me!” I chirped, trying to defuse the situation before Parvati actually got upset. “If you can cook enough to feed yourself in an apocalypse, I consider that a solid fundamental basis.”
Hannah finally took the hint. “Well, if you ever want to learn more, gods know you have plenty of friends who can teach you. Hell, Sophia taught Maverick to cook, and when they first met he had a very iffy relationship with the concept of food in general.”
That got me a look. “He had been through a lot, okay? You spend thirty years with everyone blaming your sensory issues with food on just ‘being picky’,” I used air quotes for emphasis, “and yeah, you start living on the three foods you like and a lot of vitamins and protein drinks.”
Parvati stopped in her tracks and slowly turned her head toward me before taking a seat. “How did someone who doesn’t even eat to live end up with two people who live to eat?”
I felt my face heat up, but managed to limit my reaction to a shrug. “If he said he didn’t like something, I took that at face value and didn’t make him eat it. If he never had it, I thought really hard about how similar it was to things he did or didn’t like, and offered it to him - or didn’t -  based on that.  I never took it as a challenge I needed to make him overcome, just as a challenge I needed to rise to.”
She considered this for a moment, glancing to Hannah who nodded in confirmation, before speaking. “This is why you cook.” It wasn’t a question. Parvati stated it as a fact.
And I confirmed it was, indeed, a fact. “One of the few things Huynh and I agree on is hospitality. I don’t want anyone to come to my table and feel they can’t eat.  It’s how I was raised.  There will be food they like, and plenty of it.”
I heard a popping noise from Hannah’s direction, and turned only to realize that it was her neck popping when she turned from Parvati to me.  Eyes wide, she was barely audible when she whispered, “That’s why the Food Festival is so important to you…”
It took several attempts and a lot of nodding to swallow the lump in my throat. “We were all scared, and all strangers in this insane reality that we weren’t even sure was actually real.  I thought - knew - it would ground us, and even start uniting us. If we could all see that arroz con pollo, paella, chicken biriyani, chicken etouffee weren’t all that different? What’s more familiar than chicken and rice, or fried puffs of dough, or pancakes?” I shook my head. “I remember my first day on the Ark. I was in a mess hall, and even with my sister and cat, I knew I was luckier than most but so lost.  I just - “ I gulped and fought back tears. “I wanted shepherd’s pie so bad it hurt my soul. And I tried and tried to get it from the food consoles, and it was never the right thing. I must’ve tried eight times. It was so frustrating!” I didn’t catch myself in time to keep from slamming my fist a couple times on the table. “I felt even more lost.  Someone came up to me and asked what I was doing.” 
I took a deep breath to banish the concept of Arantxa from my head. “And dragged me to Conor because she realized that what I was saying and what she was hearing weren’t the same thing.  That’s how I actually met him. And, bless his face, he knew exactly what I was asking for and got it for me if I promised to help him get French toast, of all things.”  The memory made me smile. “Believe it or not, that moment mattered more to me than even waking up on the Ark when I should have been dead. Just… the idea that this person who knew nothing about me except what I wanted for dinner, was able to fix that lost feeling.  I want everyone to have that.”
Parvati was staring at me like she was watching the most romantic story in the world, but at least Hannah nodded seriously. “Steak and ale pie. I always want that when I’m stressed.”
I snapped my fingers and pointed at her. “Exactly. And multiply that by every type of steak and ale pie anyone can possibly make on the Ark? I know I don’t have to convince you two to keep the Festival anymore, but yeah.  That’s why it matters so much to me.”
I turned to Parvati, who was drumming her fingers and looking down somewhat sheepishly. “Most cultures have a kind of curry, so I never really thought about it,” she admitted. “But it makes sense, from that perspective. I never thought about it.”
Reaching out to pat her hand, I gave her a serious look. “That doesn’t mean you have to learn to cook anything more than what you already know,” I assured her. “It’s my motivation. No one else’s. If you ever want to learn to make something you don’t know how to, I’ll be happy to teach you. If you never want to learn how to make anything you don’t know how to, I will be happy to cook for you. Just… don’t ask me to bake? That’s a Tyche thing.”
She groaned. “Those mini black forest donuts….”
“Exactly. Don’t ask me to make them, I’ll ruin them ten times out of ten,” I laughed.
“She should make donuts for the Festival,” Hannah suggested wistfully. “Do you think we could talk her into it?”
I held up my hands in surrender. “I’m not asking her to do it, so have fun.”
“But you’re her sister.”
“How the hell do you think I know not to ask?” I gave them both a flat stare that set them giggling. “Donuts for the family? Fine. Donuts for the whole entire Ark? Not touching it.”
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insomniacowl · 3 years
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Neon Genesis Evangelion analysis chapter 21: Kaji Ryoji Lies and Silence
Hi, it's been a while. I'm sorry I disappeared for 5 months while working on the graduate thesis. From now on I will try to upload once every two weeks at 7pm on Saturday.
From here on out, the analysis will focus on the important characters of Evangelion with 15 chapters left to go. Thank you for your patience so far and I hope you all stick with me for the remainder of the ride.
Also, I realized that Tumblr now allows maximum of 10 photos a post, so I am thinking of moving or co-posting on a different site. I'll update all of you when that happens
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Sakiel: The third angel, the first real opponent of Nerv. A portion of voice recordings of the battle attained
Shamel: The fourth angel, visual data gathered and backed up. Will send recordings of Unit – 01's battle against it.
Ramiel: The fifth angel, portion of remains attained and analyzed. Will send information about AT field.
Gagiel: The sixth angel, visual confirmation. Information attained from the UN. Will send information along with Unit – 02's battle data.
Israphel: The seventh angel, visual confirmation, will send data through channel 11-B. Attained sample of material composition
Sandalphon: The eight angels, confirmation through a still image. No further information
Matarael: The ninth angel, visual confirmation. Used the blackout to obtain a sample.
Sahaquel: The tenth angel, photographed attained. Will enter into the database through channel 57-F
Ireul: The eleventh angel, visual confirmation, data erased by Nerv. Will retrieve physically and send them over.
Reriel: The twelfth angel. Unit – 01 went berserk again
Bardiel: The thirteenth angel. Data attained from Mitsushiro facility
Zeruel: The fourteenth angel, visual confirmation. Unit – 01 went berserk. Will send video data.
---Excerpt from "The memos of Kaji Ryoji."
"2015: the Last Year of Ryoji Kaji" was written by the head scriptwriter Yamaguchi Hiroshi and was published in 1997. It contains Kaji's observations of various Incidents and set pieces in the series. It is not anything too particular; however, the fresh perspective Kaji's writings provide makes this an essential material in our understanding of the world of Evangelion. The excerpts mentioned above are essential proof of Kaji's identity as a spy and prove that the blackout during Matarael's attack was deliberately caused by Kaji and Seele.
Furthermore, it explains how Seele had attained information regarding Iruel's existence and its attack on the Nerv facility, even when Nerv/Gendou tried to hide this fact.
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The memo above seems to be the observation of Nerv and the angels made by Kaji. While Kaji officially belongs under the Japanese government's command, as we have covered in Chapter 17, the Japanese government is unaware of Lilith's existence. It, therefore, has a different numbering system from Nerv and Seele.
Adding on to this point, the public in the world of Evangelion is unaware of the existence of Lilith. High-ranking Nerv officials such as Misato are aware of Lilith only as of the cause of the First impact and no more. Thus we can deduce that Kaji made the memo while he was on Seele's side, considering that he knew about Lilith in detail. But Kaji never once wholly and permanently sided with any organization. Like how his main character trait is a "flirt," he is never loyal to any organization, just like how he is perceived to be with women; two, perhaps three-timing.
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Kaji: You've lost weight
Ritsuko: Are you flirting with me? Stop. A scary-looking friend is watching.
However, it is wrong to say that Kaji was a cheater by any means. His heart belonged only to Misato, and she was the one he trusted the most. His flirting with Ritsuko and Maya made others view him as a superficial person and did not take him too seriously. This got some eyes off his back. This would have given him more freedom to act in achieving his goals (but also, it might have been fun to get Misato jealous in a playful way).
Kaji: Not like you are going to repay that. I added some dummy information in case.
Now, let's take a closer look at Kaji's actions throughout the series. He makes his first appearance in episode 7, having a phone call with Gendou discussing the Jet Alone (JA) program. Because JA was developed as a competition to the Evangelion projects, its implementation would have caused Nerv's authority to weaken and jeopardize the HIP. Making it a top priority to prevent its further development. Minus the actions taken by Misato, the proceedings of JA going berserk and being miraculously fixed were likely a scenario manufactured by Gendou.
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Kaji: it has been restored up to this point. It is frozen in a thick layer of bayclade, but it is alive.
The key to the HIP
We first see his face in episode 8 on a new mission: Transporting Adam and Unit – 02 to Nerv headquarters. He likely attained Adam's body in Germany, stealing it under the nose of our dear old friend Keel. The question is, how did he do it? We will never know the details, but we know that Seele's projects that required Adam were complete at this point (Creation of Evas and Tabris). They may not have had much use or concern for the leftovers. Since Adam's fetal form is small, it would have been easy to swap the original for a copy before he left. Of course, this would not have gone unnoticed for long, and it did not.
In episode 10, we see Kaji talking to an unknown woman about the initiation of protocol A-17. It appears to be a measure that limits and shrinks Nerv's authority and freeze their funds. Just like the JA plan, it shows the hostility of the Japanese government towards Nerv. Because Nerv and Seele are still on agreeable terms, Kaji is seen as a double spy between Nerv and the Japanese government. But in episode 11, the Nerv blackout happens. With clues spread over the episode pointing to Kaji as the culprit with Seele's support, we begin to see him in action as a triple spy.
The reason why Kaji undertook such a dangerous role is to get closer to the "Truth." Upon realizing the Japanese government's imbecility, he begins to walk the rope between Nerv and Seele to seek the truth.
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Kaji: Is that an angel? This is not the time to be doing my job
We first see him in action in episode 13 while the HQ was distracted defending against Ireul. Here we see him collecting information around the central dogma. While doing so, Kaji notices the angel while passing through the passage in level 28 and hears the announcement that the "Sigma unit (the Eva simulation chamber) will be shut off in 60 seconds. Bearing in mind that Magi is located in level 40 and that a lower number refers to a deeper level, we can see that Kaji has already infiltrated deep into the complex. As central dogma and Lilith were information that Nerv and Seele wanted to keep secret, this infiltration was likely Kaji's initiative. With the same logic, we can also say that the information he gathered regarding the Marduk institution in episode 15 was his individual action as well.
Later in the episode, he is found by Misato as he was trying to infiltrate the central dogma. But Kaji does not seem surprised by this fact and opens the door without hesitation. What they see on the other side was the white giant Lilith. However, we hear Kaji refer to it as Adam. Why? There are two possible explanations for this. First is that Kaji knew that it was Lilith but deliberately lied to Misato.
This explanation is weak at best. It contradicts the characterization of Misato being the only woman Kaji trusts. Further, it contradicts the portrayal of their relationship in the following episodes. It is also difficult to explain why Kaji would distinguish between Adam and Lilith in his explanation to Misato.
The other possible explanation is that Kaji believed this to be Adam, and I am personally more convinced of this explanation. As we have seen in an earlier episode, Kaji passed on the Adam sample to Gendou. Both were fully aware of what he has gotten into his hands (puns perhaps intended). Then why did Kaji believe that it was Adam in central dogma? He likely at this moment believed that the white giant was the manifestation of the Adam sample that he stole. Although it looked different, Kaji, who saw Sandalphon transforming at an unbelievable speed, would have drawn parallels.
Kaji's misunderstanding is also supported by the secretiveness of the existence of Lilith. The information being top-secret accessible only to the Gendou and Seele. Even when Gendou referred to Adam as "The first man," it could be him trying to misdirect Kaji on the identity of the white giants. Although the reason for this secretiveness is not apparent, we know that Seele was ashamed of their status as the descendent of Lilith, this being the reason for conducting the ritual of atonement.
The HIP Seele type is, in essence, based on the feeling of perceived inferiority against the Adam-based angels. Thus it can explain away why Seele would want to keep the project a secret from the public. Even without such reasons, Lilith's identity as a being in the same caliber of existence as Adam might have created a need to keep her locked away and kept secret. This to minimize unnecessary friction and interference in their plans by other organizations.
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To add on, let's touch on the strange phrase written on the container of Adam's sample that Kaji brought over. "Who is you? He is living. Why?". There are no explanations given regarding this phrase. It is likely written by one of the researchers in the german facility that was studying this sample. Being the only remaining Adam sample that seemed alive with the absence of a soul, it would have been baffling to look at it.
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This lie about the identity of Adam and Lilith is a recurring motif. In the earlier chapters discussing the angels' identity, I have mentioned that due to the enemies being the "Angels," Evangelion fundamentally rejects the narrative of Good triumphing over Evil. During one of the sequences in the opening song, there is a frame reading "ADAM," and it is unique as it is the only one that is black words with a white background. This likely foreshadows the fact that information regarding Adam that we receive is different, thus, at some level, inaccurate or lies.
Either way, the truth of the White giant's identity is revealed near the end of the series. The audiences are made aware of it through the exposition of Tabris. For Miasto, she receives this truth from Kaji along with all the information and data he collected by himself. Through this 'Truth,' we can infer what Kaji wanted to protect and what his 'will' was. This 'will' to live is passed on from Kaji to Misato, from Misato to Shinji, and influences his decision during the end of Evangelion.
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Kaji: Shinji, the only thing that I can do right now is to water these plants. And as much, there are things that only you are capable of accomplishing right now. No one is going to force you to do anything. Think for yourself. Decide for yourself. Determined what it is that you need to do right now.
So that you will not end up in regrets.
The alliance between Gendou and Seele began to show signs of schisms in episode 19 after Unit – 01 consumed Zeruel's S2 engine and became a being as though god. This was more in line with the plan of Gendou, who sought for the creation of a new god, the material conditions misaligning from Seele's plans of atoning for the sin of Lilith. Kaji was very much likely to have been aware of all this. When the schisms showed, Kaji had to choose the side he had to stand with. He seemed to have concluded that Nerv is closer to the truth that he wanted. Therefore he ended up helping Gendou achieve his version of the HIP.
I say this as Kaji played a crucial role in convincing Shinji to return and pilot Unit – 01 during the battle against Zeruel. Afterward, Kaji released Fuyutsuki, who was kidnapped by Seele, and began his pro-Nerv strategies. This leads up to his assassination by Seele's orders. To borrow Seele's words, "The bell around Gendou's neck lost its will to ring."
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Fuyutsuki: Is that you Kaji?
Kaji: It's been a while.
Fuyutsuki: You will lose your life if you do this.
Kaji: I am just heading towards the truth that I believe in.
Let me talk a little more about his death. In episode 21 of the renewal version, an additional line was spoken: "They found out that I handed over Adam's sample to Gendou." This draws a line connecting the importance of Adam's Sample in Kaji's death and its role in the HIP.
Regarding the Assassin identity, due to the scene of Misato's grief being placed right after Kaji's death in "Death and Rebirth," some believed that it was Misato killed Kaji. One of the rare things that Anno came forward and cleared up was that Kaji's assassin was an unnamed individual that we do not see ever on screen. An additional argument made by those suspecting Misato as the culprit claims the evidence of interlaying of Misato's apartment door label right after the gunshot. This was later removed in the renewal version.
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Kaji: No one can understand another person to a full extend. They can't even understand themselves.
But that is why people try their best to understand the other.
And that is what makes life such a fun experience.
Many of what Kaji says touches on the critical messages of Evangelion. It is also why I am starting off this section, the analysis of characters with Kaji; understanding Kaji is integral to understanding the series as a whole. He loved Misato but could not tell her his true feelings during the happiness of reunion after eight years. This was likely the greatest form of love that he could have given her, knowing that he is close to his death. The reason for Kaji's obsession with the truth and the sufferings he experienced in the past is fleshed out in detail in the comics version. He was orphaned as a consequence of the Second impact. After a failed attempt at stealing food from the military base, all of his friends were killed, leaving him alive and questioning the reason for their suffering and death. Kaji sought to avenge his friends by understanding why the Second impact happened.
But even without going into the details, we can try and understand the pain and suffering he went through as the generation living after the Second impact. Yet, his general attitude towards life and his ability to call living to be fun is his unique charm. He even managed to have a smile on his face while looking at the face of his death. His smile was not a forced fake that he made to mask his fear of death; he has probably smiled from the bottom of his heart.
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Yo. You're late
Because he would have already reached the truth that he worked so part to attain.
TBC Chapter 22: Katsuragi Misato Part 1 With a cross in hand
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Text
Reflecting Light
Chapter One
Chapter Twelve:
Remus was sitting up in the crow’s nest when he felt someone start climbing down below.  He glanced over the side and saw Virgil, which was about the time Remus started wishing he could climb down the other side.
He shifted to the other wall and crossed his arms, doing his best to resign himself to his fate.  Virgil’s arms finally appeared over the side of the crow’s nest, and pushed the owner of the arms upward until Virgil could finish climbing up and sat down across from Remus.
Remus didn’t say anything, not sure if whatever he came up with would just piss Virgil off.
“So,” Virgil said, crossing his arms and looking just as uncomfortable as Remus felt.  “I’m an idiot, huh.”
Remus blinked.  “What?”
“I should’ve guessed.  After what happened with Thomas, and how you reacted, that you’d gone through something similar.  I’m sorry, Remus.”
“You’re sorry?”
“Yeah.  Yelling at you with all the fury of hell probably wasn’t the best choice in that situation.”
“What?  No, I needed that.  I would have thought you were lying about that stuff not being okay if you hadn’t brow-beaten it into me like that.  Besides, why are you apologizing?  I lied to you.”
“Yeah, but I get why.  If I ran from The Light and an abusive authority figure and found myself on the ship owned by two heads of the rebellion…” Virgil nodded to himself.  “I’d lie too.”
“Still.  Sorry I lied,” Remus said anyway.
Virgil smiled a little.  “It’s okay.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.”
Remus leaned back against the wall.  “I told your dad.  Well, I gave him a hypothetical that wasn’t actually a hypothetical, but yeah.  He tried to convince me you wouldn’t hate me.”
“No one ever hated you,” Virgil said.  “And if they did I’d kick their ass.”
Remus laughed a little, looking back up at Virgil.  “Can I, uh.  Can I tell you my actual story now?” he asked.
“If you want to, go for it.”
So Remus did.  It felt nice to actually tell someone who didn’t know, without trying to disguise anything or use metaphors that he was also really bad at disguising.
Virgil somehow looked guilty again when Remus finished.  He shook his head with a sigh.  “Shit, Remus, I’m sorry.”
“Again?” Remus asked, baffled.  “You didn’t do anything.”
“I just…” Virgil sighed.  “I hate the idea of you being so scared we’d hurt you, Remus.  I wish I’d known.”
“You didn’t need to,” Remus said with a small smile, nudging Virgil in the side.  “You helped anyway.”
Virgil smiled a little back.  “Hey, Remus?”
“Yeah?”
“Is this what you were going to tell us after lunch before Roman found you?”
Remus winced, and nodded.  “I didn’t want to fight him,” he murmured.  “I didn’t want to fight anyone back home, and I didn’t want you counting on me if I knew I wasn’t going to be able to help you.”
“We’re not going to make you fight anyone,” Virgil said instantly.
“I know that,” Remus said.  “But thanks for the confirmation.”
They moved on to other topics after that, and Virgil talked about how much he and Janus had both missed him the past couple days.  Remus had made some kind of joke about how peaceful his last couple days had been, but immediately after he pulled Virgil into a bear hug, so he was pretty sure Virgil didn’t buy his bullshit.  After that they lapsed into silence for a while, until Remus smacked at a bird that flew overhead and Virgil laughed.
They probably would have stayed up there for most of the morning if Thomas, who wasn’t allowed in the crow’s nest yet, hadn’t called from down below that he wanted a piggyback ride from Remus.  Remus called over the side that they’d be down in a minute, and then followed Virgil down.
Half an hour later, after more than a few remarks from Virgil about how unfair Remus’ muscles were, things were feeling closer to normal.  They would have felt completely normal if Janus had been there and Roman hadn’t been standing off to the side very obviously trying not to look at them.
One of those problems, at least, got solved after lunch, when Virgil asked Remus to come up by the wheel so he could talk to Janus.  He offered to go with him, but Remus declined.
Janus was standing at the wheel as Remus approached.  He stopped when Janus noticed and turned to face him and moved to lean tentatively back against the railing.
Remus wasn’t sure what Janus wanted him to say, so safe to say he was pretty glad when he spoke first.
“So, Virgil told me some of what happened,” he said.  Remus nodded slightly.
After another moment, Janus sighed, looking just as uncomfortable as Remus felt.  “I shouldn’t have gotten angry when Shane showed up, Remus,” he said.  “I should have given you a chance to explain.”
“It’s okay,” Remus said instantly.  “I’m sorry I lied.”
Janus gave a short huff of laughter.  “It’s alright, Remus.  I told you from the beginning you didn’t have to tell me about your past.”
“As long as it didn’t hurt anyone.  The fact that I was a Light soldier could… seriously hurt some people,” Remus muttered.
“It could, yes.  That’s why I was angry.  I… have a lot of people I care about, and I don’t want them to be hurt.”
Remus nodded, looking down.  He waited another moment before speaking again.  “You… why did you still pull Shane off of me?” he asked hesitantly.  “When you found him and me and Roman?”
Janus was silent for a moment, and when Remus looked up again he was staring at him.  “Remus, he was hurting you,” he said.
“But you were angry.  I lied to you, and you said that could cause people you care about to get hurt.”
Janus took a couple steps forward and grabbed Remus’ hands.  “You are one of those people, Remus,” he said.  “You are one of those people, and I don’t want you to be hurt either.  I… I’m sorry if I ever made you think otherwise.”
Remus smiled, just a little.  “You didn’t,” he said.  “Not really.  It’s also not your fault that I’m not good with people being upset with me.  It doesn’t mean you don’t get to be mad if I royally screw up.”
Janus nodded.  “I’ll still try and hear you out in the future, before just deciding to be mad.”
“Thanks,” Remus mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck.  “That… that would help.”
Janus was quiet for a moment, long enough that Remus glanced back over.  He looked thoughtful.
“Have you talked to your brother yet?” he asked.
Remus looked away.  “No.  I don’t…”  He squeezed his eyes shut.  “I don’t know if you get how terrifying it is that Shane is on the ship.  I’m still trying to understand that I didn’t deserve to get hurt by him, and now he’s right downstairs.  And Roman brought him here.”
“You’re right, I don’t think I could understand that,” Janus admitted.  “But… I can tell you that if something happened to Virgil, I would rain down hell.  Do you think Roman is different?”
“I… I don’t know,” Remus said hesitantly.  “I always thought he just didn’t know.  I mean, I intentionally didn’t tell him.  But then the day I left…” Remus shook his head.  “I don’t know anymore.”
Janus put a hand carefully on Remus’ shoulder.  “Maybe you should ask him.  I can go with you if you want.  Or Virgil can.”
Remus shook his head.  “I don’t want you guys to be there.”  He couldn’t imagine Janus or Virgil being there while he talked to his brother about Shane.  He could barely manage talking to them about it when they were alone.  But talking to Roman… well, it didn’t seem like such a terrible idea.  He should probably try and get better at adult communication and not making assumptions and all that.
The only problem now was finding a way to do so without freaking out.
“Hey Janus?”
“Yeah?”
“Do you think instead you and Virgil could stand just out of earshot and look threatening?”
Janus grinned.  “Remus,” he said.  “It would be my absolute pleasure.”
Remus ended up meeting with Roman at the front of the ship where he watched sunrises.  Janus and Virgil were loudly going over the weapons supply of the ship at the edge of the steps, and Remus couldn’t say he wasn’t appreciating the way it made Roman squirm as he approached.
Roman sat down on the deck next to him, looking so out of his element that it was almost comical.
“Uh, hey,” he said.
Remus nodded.  “Hi.”  He was aiming for firm or distant, but his voice ended up sounding much quieter than he liked.
Neither of them said anything for a moment.
“How— how long…” Roman started, and trailed off.
“Um.  Dunno,” Remus muttered.  “Can’t really remember a time he didn’t.”
“God,” Roman buried his head in his hands, sounding like Remus had just confirmed something he hadn’t wanted to believe.  “I’m so sorry.”
“It’s not your fault,” Remus said.  He was beginning to feel like a broken record, he was saying that so much.
“Yes it is,” Roman insisted.
Remus stared at him.  “No,” he repeated.  “It isn’t.”
“You’re my brother,” Roman said.  “How did I never put the pieces together?  I’ve known you my whole life, I should have been able to tell that someone was— that Shane was—”
“That doesn’t make it your fault,” Remus said.  “That just makes you an oblivious idiot.”
Roman gave a surprised huff of laughter.  “Uh.  What?  Thanks?  I guess?”
“Anytime,” Remus said, patting Roman on the shoulder as seriously as he could manage.  “But seriously, you didn’t know.  Uh.  You didn’t know, right?”
Roman shook his head firmly.  “If I’d known I would have done something.  I swear it.”
Remus wasn’t sure whether to bring up the way that hadn’t gone so well for Patton.  After a minute of deliberation he let it go for now.
Instead, he just nodded.  “Then it isn’t your fault, okay?  My turn to swear it.”
Roman gave a weak chuckle.  “Okay.  I… I’m still so sorry.  For bringing him here and trying to bring you back, I don’t—” he sighed.  “They said they were going to kill you.”
Remus’ eyes widened.  “Seriously?”
Roman nodded.  “Shane actually agreed to go with me to try and find you.  I…” Roman bit his lip.  “I talked to him a couple days ago.”
Remus swallowed.  “What did he say?”
“He said he went through the same thing you did when he was a kid,” Roman said quickly, like he had to get it all out before he changed his mind about saying it.
Remus kind of wished he had.  “…What?”
“Yeah, I know right?” Roman said, shaking his head.  “What a piece of shit reason.”
Remus looked down.  “Yeah.”
Images popped up in his head of Shane as a tiny little kid, just as scared as Remus was.  Why did that image make his stomach squirm in so many different ways?
He wanted to move on in the conversation now.
“It really is okay, though,” he said to Roman.  “Promise.  It was my own fault for assuming the day I left.”
“I’m glad you assumed,” Roman replied.  “It got you out.”
Remus couldn’t come up with anything to say for a second.  “…Oh.”
“Yeah,” Roman said quietly.
They were both quiet for a minute.  Remus leaned his head against Roman’s shoulder and took a minute to appreciate the fact that his brother was here and didn’t know and didn’t think he should be able to handle being abused.
Roman wrapped an arm around Remus’ other side, and they both sat there for a minute.
“Hey, Ro?”
Roman glanced over.  “Yeah?”
“We’re going back for Patton and Logan, right?”
Roman nodded firmly.  “Absolutely,” he said, in the tone he only used when he was certain about something.
“Good,” Remus said with a nod of his own.  “I don’t want to leave them there.  I don’t know what they’d do to them.”
Roman winced, and Remus remembered that he’d only been aware of any kind of problems with their old home for a couple days.  But after a second, Roman just sighed.  “Yeah,” he agreed.
They didn’t say anything for another minute.  Remus decided he was getting sick of serious conversations.  “Do you want to come see the morningstar these idiots trust me with?”
“Oh my god they’ve doomed us all,” Roman muttered, and Remus cackled.  Roman smiled as he glanced back over.
“Yeah, let’s see it,” he said.
“Excellent!” Remus cried, leaping up.  “Come on!”
He dragged Roman back down towards the main deck, straight past Janus and Virgil who gave them a wave as they went, and down to his room.  Maybe he’d find a sword for Roman.  They could definitely cause some chaos together.
Chapter Thirteen
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