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random-imagines-blog · 3 years

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Under Atomic Skies {John Blake x Reader}

Requested by: Anonymous Wordcount: 2558 Summary: John Blake would do just about anything to keep his family safe.

You looked over at John as he came into your cozy little Gotham home. His mouth was set in a grim line against the contours of his handsome face. You could feel the stress radiating off of him. “Did the kids see?” He asked, turning off the television that you were sitting in front of. You shook your head in a no, and he sighed in relief. They were playing in their rooms, your son and your daughter. The blasts in the street had caused the house to rumble, but they didn’t ask any questions. They just played ‘earthquake’. You didn’t want to explain to them what happened until your husband, John, got home with his own explanation. And what he said, all of it, it broke your heart. This was the city you both grew up in. This was the city you had fallen in love in. Gave birth in, raised your kids in, got a mortgage in, worked in, made your home. And it was being threatened once more.

“There’s going to be riots, and looting, and who knows what else,” You said, your eyes looking over to the front door. There were three locks on it already, with John being a bit of a cautious man. With you being a cop’s wife. But those three didn’t seem enough when you were now the wife of the only cop, or detective, left to protect the city. The rest were caught in the underground. John’s partner included. “What are we going to tell the kids? Is Ross alright? Should we move to a safe house?”

“Ross is fine, I’ve already figured out where he is. There’s a sewer grate right above them, I can talk to him,” John said, which made you give your own sigh of relief. Your husband’s partner was like family, your kids even called him Uncle Ross. “I have hope in Gotham, we’ll get through this, sweetheart.”

But you weren’t so sure. You loved this city, but it tended to turn out bad people one after another. Thieves, mobsters, even an evil clown. And now this man who called himself Bane. It was safe to say that you were terrified, and wished that you shared in your husband’s positivity. In his hope. It was one of the things that you loved best about him. And things usually turned out pretty okay. The city had John Blake - it was going to be okay.

The days started to seem shorter as the countdown to the bomb began. There just didn’t seem to be enough time in the day to really appreciate each and every one. John was gone most of the time, working as a Detective, working with Batman, being the only cop in a city which was run by madness. You hardly ever left the house, and when you did, it was to go to the boys’ orphanage and help out there. There was no point in trying to work from home right now, the business was down the toilet. So you took on volunteering at the boys home, bringing your kids with you so you could keep an eye on them all at the same time. Father Reilly appreciated your help.

“It’s good for the boys to see a friendly face,” He admitted to you as you were passing out juice boxes to the kids. “All of them seemed to be glued to the news the days. They’re too young for such things. Too innocent.”

“If I wasn’t here, I’d be doing the same,” You admitted to the friendly father. You kept pressing that smile on your face, just as John did when he came home and gave the kids a huge hug each night. But the news was wearing you down. Scarecrow, Dr Jonathan Crane, was acting as judge, jury and executioner. All of the major shopping centers were looted as ‘wealth’ was dispersed in the way of material goods. You never joined in on any of that. You weren’t going to let the city take you down with it.

“There’s always hope,” Father Reilly said, putting his hand on your shoulder in solidarity. “That’s something I learned from being around these boys. No matter what life throws at them, they still play with a smile on their face.”

“It’s hard not to stay hopeful with John around,” you admitted, sitting on a bench with a juicebox of your own. You looked out over Gotham. There was still smoke in the air. There was always smoke in the air. The sounds of chanting from the courthouse. Vehicles still moving about down there, despite there really being nowhere to go. John had filled you in that one of those large trucks was carrying around the bomb, and your eyes caught on one as it turned a corner a few blocks down. It was terrifying, knowing that it was so close. But you still had a few days before it would go off. There was still time to find it. There was time to fix this whole mess. “Include John in your prayers tonight for me, father? It can’t hurt for us to be a little louder.”

“I already include him every night, y/n,” Father said, sitting beside you, stretching out his old leg bones. He was no longer the young man who used to chase John around this very building. The stress was taking a toll on him, and had even before the bombings. “And all of those officers stuck under the city.”

“They’re getting food and water, and vitamin D tablets,” You explained. “John and Ross have been keeping in touch. He’s even been scouting out an area where he might be able to get them out. He’s been working nonstop on this. I hope that when it’s all over, I can convince him to take a break.”

“Good luck asking him to take a break from anything,” Father Reilly laughed. It was the first real laugh you had heard since this whole thing began, at least from someone other than a child. It made you grin. You knew that it was absolutely true. John was one of the most dedicated people in this city. And when he believed in something, whether it’s in Batman, or in you, he never gave up on it. He’d fight til the end.

The day after tomorrow. The bomb was going to blow, according to John. The military still weren’t letting people go across the bridge. They were even threatening to blow that up themselves to stop people. Most of the population didn’t know, they were much too busy fighting each other to realize that Bane wasn’t actually going to give a detonator to an ordinary citizen. Or that an ordinary citizen would even want this city to blow up. He had to have the detonator all this time. And with Batman missing again, and the cops still trapped, and only very few people actually working on the streets... even your hope was beginning to wane. And John’s.

You moved into the shelter with the boys, taking care of them, tucking them in, acting like the mother that they never had. Because if all went wrong, this would be their last few days and they deserved to feel that love. You put the blankets over them, made sure that they had their bears which they were given as emotional support, and gave them each a peck on the forehead. Even the older boys, so quick to shun the bears since they were childish, needed something to hold onto.

The day before the bomb went off was chaotic. All of your rations were packed away to take off in the morning, just in case things didn’t work out. John was convinced that the military would see reason and let a bus full of children across. And you, importantly. He wasn’t going to be able to go on if anything happened to you, he admitted.

“You just do your job, Detective Blake,” You said, laying in bed with him, looking into his big, dark brown eyes. “And keep up hope that everything is going to turn out alright. It’s like that saying you know I love so much. Everything will be okay in the end, and if it’s not okay, then it’s not the end. We have to remain optimistic about this. Not just for us, but for the kids.”

The bomb was set to go off in less than an hour. All of the kids, the father, a few other works, John and yourself had piled onto the schoolbus and tried to get out to the bridge. The military were guarding it cautiously. Too cautiously. Guns were pointed not only at you, who had gotten out to support John, and your husband. Father Reilly was giving up hope. But you weren’t. The second that John had gotten the door unlocked, you slipped through it, standing in front of him.

“Please,” You pleaded, stepping forward tentatively. Your eyes were struggling to meet the soldier’s, and not just focus on his gun. “I’m asking you not as a citizen of Gotham, but as a mother. As a human being. These children are innocent in all of this. If they don’t leave, they’re going to get killed anyway. Have you seen the riots, and the looting, and all of the crime? Is that an environment you want your kids raised in?”

“You need to get back,” The soldier said, though his voice was shakier than before.

“Please, do not shoot,” John yelled, his accent cutting through the air. He walked up alongside you, badge in hand, those hands up towards the sky. He stepped in alongside you, then a step ahead, protecting you. Always acting like your human shield. Warning shots came towards you, to the ground by your feet.

“Get back,” John whispered to you. And you didn’t fight him on that, you went right back behind the chain-link door with the others, but watched with worried eyes. Your fingers slipped through the holes, gripping onto the metal. However much John worried about you getting hurt, you worried right back. Tenfold. The city would be lost without him. You would be lost without him, so would the kids.

“Detective, please, stop!” The young looking officer barked out. He looked as scared as you felt. But John was stubborn, and wasn’t going to stop for anything. He took two steps forward. More bullets shot near his feet, sending little shocks of light. That made him pause, but not stop. Another step. “STOP WALKING.” He looked towards another soldier that was with him and said the words that made your heart stop. “BLOW IT.”

The two men disappeared behind the shelters made of sandbags. “John-” You cried out, hoping to God that he would turn around and walk back to you before the explosives would go off.

“DO IT.” The soldier ordered.

Your stubborn husband. He made another step before the explosives detonated. Smoke filled your vision, but you saw that he was thrown backwards. You went through the door again, coughing through the dark and acrid smoke, trying to find him. A whole section of the bridge fell from existence, causing a rumble that made you fall. A hand caught your own, and you could feel from familiarity that it was John’s.

“YOU SONS OF BITCHES,” John said, getting onto his feet and pulling you up alongside with him. He had his arms around you, still shielding you from the military. You avoided looking at them now, because John was speaking what you were thinking. “YOU KILLED US.”

It was hard to maintain that hope in the face of this much adversity, but you had to try. He was moving back towards the door, back towards the kids. You stopped him outside of the bus, wrapping your arms around his shoulders, and brought him in for what might be your last hug. “You’ve done everything that you can, my love,” You said, looking into his dark eyes. “I have faith in the Batman. And in Gordon. They’re figuring this out, and if they don’t then - then you cannot blame yourself. You risked your life time and time again. Gotham can not ask any more from you.”

John nodded, but you could still see the frustration on his face. But then another expression took over it. One of hope. And wonder. He pointed behind you, towards the skies, towards the water. You turned around to see that there was some black thing flying through the air, holding what looked to be-

- the bomb.

It was being flown over the waters, towards the sea, away from Gotham. Batman had come through. There was no mistaking who else it could be in that jetblack air craft. Nobody else had the technology for that. Your hands went to your heart, holding it in because it was beating so quickly, it felt like it might pop out. John put his arms around you from behind. All of the kids rushed to one side of the bus to look out of the windows. There were excited voices coming from everywhere.

Then the bomb went off. You could see the explosion from where you were. It caused a stiff wind to blow towards you. The bridge rippled as the water beneath it did as well. It was a wonder that the windows of the bus didn’t break. But it was gone, and it was over. And though you felt relieved, you looked up at John with sorrow. He had believed in the Batman, more than he believed in his own police force. But at least the threat against your family, for now, was over and done with.

When you first saw him wearing the mask and the suit, you were worried. Who wouldn’t be? He was taking over the moniker of Batman and all of the enemies that brought along with it. But at least he had promised that he would wear the mask, something he had sworn never to do in the first place. But he had you to think about, and the kids. He’d already had an enemy threaten you, with Bane and the entire city, and he realized this wasn’t just about playing heroics. It was about taking care of his own. His people. Gotham’s people.

“Are you going to be home to tuck the kids into bed?” You asked, before John set off to go to the underground bunker. Even you didn’t know the exact location. The less you knew, the better.

“I’ll try to be,” He said, cupping your chin and pressed a sweet and loving, though quick, kiss upon your lips. “Don’t wait up for me though.”

“Easier said than done,” You said. He chuckled, knowing that was the truth, gave you a long look like he was memorizing your face, then disappeared out into the evening twilight, to get ready to prowl the night in his newly assigned role as The Batman.

#John Blake #John Blake x reader #John Blake oneshot #DC #DC oneshot #request #oneshot #x reader #johnb

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roguish-gallery · 4 years

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Could we have random hc’s about Bane? There’s never enough Bane content in the fandom! Maybe something about how he interacts with the other rogues?

It’s been a while since I’ve taken a crack at writing for all of the Rogues, so this was a lot of fun to do! Thank you, anon! And of COURSE as a Bane stan I love to write literally anything about him!

Bane + Interactions with Other Rogues!

Catwoman:

He doesn’t appreciate how often she’ll team up with Batman (let’s be honest he’s just really jealous that she’s better at getting a rise out of Bruce than he is) but he doesn’t outright hate her. In all honesty, he begrudgingly respects Selina, and he’ll admit that she’s very clever.

Selina doesn’t have a particularly high opinion on Bane, but she doesn’t do anything to get in his way. She likes that he goes out of his way to look out for disenfranchised kids who live in Gotham.

Harley Quinn:

Every time they’re near each other, Harley asks him to flex. Or if she can wear his mask. Or if she can touch his hairy arms. Bane doesn’t get it... But... okay. He’s told her no multiple times but she doesn’t listen so now he just kind of accepts it.

She has a Zest for Life that Bane wishes he had more of.

Joker:

Gringo. Estupido. Pendejo. Puta. Bobo. Te odio... y voy a destruirte.

Joker pissed in Bane’s Venom tank once and it almost fucking killed him. he can’t stand that fucking twink.

Killer Croc:

They spot each other at the gym in Blackgate, but Waylon still hasn’t quite gotten over Bane beating the absolute shit out of him when they first met, and Bane can’t fault him for that.

Mad Hatter:

He is a little man. A little man who perhaps has too much time on his hands. But. But! He is very nice and he insists that Bane takes a tray of cookies back with him anytime they meet up to plot crimes.

Jerv also affectionately calls him the Gryphon and Bane kinda likes it.

Mr. Freeze:

They acknowledge each other but they don’t typically interact asdasjlkfjldk.

Vic prefers to work alone and his suit gives him enhanced strength so he doesn’t feel the need to seek Bane out. Likewise, Bane doesn’t like the cold and it fucks with his Venom so he doesn’t see a point in working with Vic.

Penguin:

YALL I WANT THEM TO BE FRIENDS SO BAAAAD BUT THEY CAN’T FUCKING STAND EACH OTHER IN THE COMICS IT’S LITERALLY BEEF ON SIGHT EVERY FUCKING TIME. BANE LITERALLY JUST MANHANDLES OZ LIKE THE PETTY BITCH HE IS. PICKS HIM UP LIKE A KITTEN. Oz at least acknowledges that Bane has Milk tho so that’s something I guess.

If you want an example where they actually get along really well, PLEASE watch Mystery of the Batwoman. They r cute :)

Whenever **I** write them, I like to think that there’s some amount of respect between each other. Like Oswald just says “Oh this guy is MUCH bigger than I am and literally just as intelligent so I’m not going to fuck with him.” and Bane leaves him to do his thing. Sometimes Oz hires him for occasional jobs, and they go out to the opera together for a fun time.

Poison Ivy:

Bane admires her drive and her intelligence so knows better than to underestimate Pam, but he’s not... particularly passionate about the environment (he’s passive, slightly sympathetic at best) and unlike most people he’s actually not afraid to admit that around her. That understandably doesn’t sit well with Pam, and back when Bane did Venom, Pam would steal some of his supply to experiment with on her plants. He didn’t appreciate that.

The two usually try to not engage with each other but they might, they MIGHT, be willing to put their shit aside and team up with other for schemes.

Riddler:

Already answered! Done aaaaaand done!

Scarecrow:

THEY GENUINELY LIKE EACH OTHER!!!! BRAIN AND BRAWN!!! Bane points at Jonathan and he’s like “YOU. You get it.” and Jonathan points back like “You’re alright with me.”

They like to get together and talk about chemicals, academia, and physically and mentally breaking Batman. Jonathan thinks it was extremely cool and extremely sexy when Bane snapped Batman’s spine and Bane offers to spot Jonathan so he can follow suit. (Jon has yet to take him up on this offer though)

Also. this.

Two-Face:

They aren’t like... Close... And they’ll probably just piss each other off if they ever hung around each other for long enough but Bane generally doesn’t have any beef with him. They would buy each other a drink at a bar and that’s basically the extent of their relationahip.

Honestly, Bane is pretty fascinated with Harvey’s past with Bruce, but it’s extremely hard for anyone to get Harv to talk about his old life.

#Bane #edward nygma #Jonathan Crane #Selina Kyle #Harley Quinn #Jervis Tetch #harvey dent #waylon jones #victor fries #Oswald Cobblepot #pamela isley #the joker #headcanons #DC Headcanon

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silverdecepticon93 · 4 years

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Crush

Request by Anon: Reader is a low level villain in the L.O.D. crushing on Riddler. She admires his charm, wit, looks, determination, smarts, (his butt lol). But she feels like Edward is way out of her league, and wouldn’t even think she's worth his time. Heck, she doesn’t even know who in their right mind got her into the L.O.D. anyway, she barely qualifies as a villain. So she just resigns themselves to admiring Riddler from afar. But the feelings are just so strong, that one day she asks her bff Bane for advice

A/n: Bane is best boy.

There was a lot that you adored about The Riddler, so many things that you’d gladly rant on and on about, however, you knew that there was no chance between you and him. After all, you were incredibly certain that the only reason you were a part of the Legion of Doom was because Psycho was kicked out due to his little...fiasco. That and you just happened to be one of the c-rank villains that wasn’t totally incompetent, at least you didn’t think you were, but The Riddler was a pro and one of the best.

He wouldn’t want anything to do with you.

So, a decision you made long ago, the plan was to just love and support him from afar. However, it was hard since he was constantly on your mind, even when you were creating plots of your own and you’d have to torture yourself everynight by reminding yourself of all the reasons of why it wouldn’t work out.

He was at a higher status than you.

He was in Gotham, you were in Metropolis.

He was the Riddler and you were just...you.

Then one day, you decided that you were sick of having to constantly fend off the thoughts and daydreams, but how on earth could you do that?

Maybe if you talked to him, that’d at least help you out, but the only real interactions you two have had with each other were the occasional morning greetings and ironically seeing each other in the parking lot since you two seemed to show up at the same time.

“How do I look? Is my hair alright?” You asked.

“I...Is this one of those woman trap questions or something?” Bane questioned nervously as he narrowed his gaze at you to see if you were being genuine or not. You rolled your eyes at his question before looking at him with a deadpan expression, “No, it isn’t. Now tell me how I look!”

“You really shouldn’t worry about it, (Y/n), you look fine.” He assured, making you smile slightly at his reassurance.

Bane, despite being one of the most evil villains, was also one of the sweetest guys on the planet who you were so happy to call your friend. However, your smile faltered a little before you looked to the side and saw Edward in all his glory.

Talking with Scarecrow with that usual handsome smirk on his face that just made your heart swoon.

“Ah, he’s so perfect!” You whisper-shouted before looking down at your feet, “How do I talk to him?! Where would I even start? Bane, what do I do?!”

Obviously overwhelmed by the amount of questions sent his way, he blinked dumbfoundedly before scratching the back of his neck.

“Uh...I don’t really know? Maybe it’d help if I went along with you?” He suggested, soon making your head perk up in happiness.

“It’d help so much! Thanks, Bane!” You beamed, happily hugging him before standing up and walking over to Edward.

The thing is, with every step you took, you became more and more nervous to the point where Bane would have to put his hand on your shoulder and lead you over there. You felt your breath hitch slightly when Scarecrow stopped talking and took notice of both you and Bane and waved over to you. Edward, naturally curious as to what Scarecrow was waving at, turned around to see that you were walking over with Bane.

“Hey, (Y/n)!” Jonathan greeted happily, “Hey Bane!”

“Hello!” Bane responded.

You, on the other hand, couldn’t bring yourself to look up in case you accidentally made eye contact with Edward and you were sure that there was a crimson color now tinting your cheeks as you became flustered and embarrassed, already regretting your decision. Letting out a fake cough, Bane nudged you from behind, causing you to step closer to both Edward and Jon.

“Um, yeah! Hi guys, how did you enjoy the meeting?” You asked them, rather quickly.

“Well, I thought it was-” Jon was cut off by The Riddler.

“Truth be told, I thought some of the ideas proposed were far-fetched and don’t really have any chance against the heroes they were trying to stop, well, except yours, (Y/n).” Edward said.

“Ow.” Bane frowned, being one of the people who presented their ideas that day.

You, on the other hand, perked up at his words as a hopeful smile soon began to spread across your face.

“R-Really?” You asked him, thrilled and surprised by the fact that he had just complimented you.

“Well, if I were fighting Superman, I know for a fact that I’d go after his little girlfriend first,” Edward explained, making you so happy that he actually liked your idea. Bane once more had to nudge you gently to remind you that you had to reply, “W-Well, I..uh, I mean yeah! Superman has proven multiple times that he’d do anything to keep her safe in particular and I’m actually making theories that he might know her in his personal life.”

“Interesting, I wish Batman’s identity was easy enough to make theories about, still not giving up though.” The Riddler hummed. You smiled softly at his words, “I know.”

Everyone looked at you when you said that and you immediately realized your words were actually oddly put.

“I-I meant that you’re just a very determined person, you know? Ambitious, determined, very clever, handsome, and also incredibly charismatic!” You quickly tried to explain. Edward still looked at you with a stunned expression on his face before smirking slightly, “You think I’m handsome and charismatic?”

Oh boy.

Tugging nervously at the collar of your villain uniform, you felt like your entire body was going up in flames before looking out of the corner of your eyes to think of an excuse.

“Oh, hey, hear that? It’s Lex!” You quickly fibbed, “Probably wants to talk about the funding for my plan, bye!”

The three Gotham villains watched silently as you quickly walked off, your face incredibly red and they could hear you muttering angrily to yourself. Bane sighed softly and shook his head, after handling the second-hand cringe he got from watching you slip-up.

“(Y/n)’s so cute.” Edward grinned, alarming both Bane and Scarecrow.

Before the could ask for confirmation of what he said, he was already on his way out of the building, twirling his cane and whistling a little tune to himself.

#The Riddler x reader #The Riddler x you #Edward Nygma x reader #Edward Nygma x you #Harley quinn Riddler x reader #Harley quinn Riddler x you #Dc x reader #Dc x you #Dc villains x reader #Dc villains x you #DCAU x reader #DCAU x you

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codenamed-queenie · 5 years

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Bohemian Rhapsody

No one knows who started it. Stephanie will claim credit whenever the topic’s brought up, but no one can really be sure. Because, really, when you and your caped family all spread out to the far reaches of the city at night, with no way to talk to each other except a group comm link...

Singing over said comms is inevitable.

It started out innocently, enough. Dick and Barbara would hum radio tunes on boring stakeouts, and Bruce would pretend that it bothered him. Then, the two sidekicks got older--and bolder--and started expanding their musical range. By the time the others came around, it wasn’t uncommon on slow nights to hear a quick burst of song lyrics on someone else’s line. Anything ranging from nursery rhymes to hard rock classics. Dick’s Discowing phase scarred everyone, because with the frills and the mullet came an inexplicable obsession with ABBA. Jason fought back with overly loud rounds of ACDC as Tim frantically tried to hum Tchaikovsky to tune out his brothers. The others could only roll their eyes and listen passively to the cacophony.

So really, the night when someone started out with a soft “Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?” came as no surprise. This particular number had made appearances before.

No. The real surprise was when someone else picked it up. “Caught in a landslide, no escape from re-al-i-teeee...”

And where they left off, yet another Bat started up. “Open your eyes...”

Maybe it was boredom. Maybe there was just a collective frustration stemming from a case involving Victor Fries where the trail had literally gone cold. Maybe the fancy just struck all of the Family members at once. Whatever the reason, that night everyone sang, as they ironically pointed up at the lit batsignal in the cloudy Gotham sky, no matter where they were. “Look up to the skies, and seeeeee....”

And that was the first time they all sang Bohemian Rhapsody together. Bruce included, though to this day, no one really knows why.

After that, it became something of an unspoken tradition. Boring nights were Bohemian Rhapsody nights. The rules were simple. Someone would start it up with the opening lines, and if no one else joined in, everyone would carry out the rest of patrol in silence (or with different musical selections). But the second someone--anyone--else picked up those next few words, the game was afoot. The rules dictated that once two people were singing on the line, everyone had to join in. No choice. No back-outs. If the others don’t hear your voice chime in, you’ll probably wake up the next morning with a Sharpie mustache. Maybe find something with too many legs in your breakfast cereal, or fall victim to a far more sinister prank. (It’s collectively assumed that this was how Bruce and Damian agreed to play along.)

But the kicker? Every Bat can hear the others perfectly, and the collective result actually isn’t half bad. On the comms,

But to everyone else? The only thing they can hear is the Bat in front of them...

For instance:

Poison Ivy is still reeling from the time she was fighting off Batgirl and Spoiler, when suddenly, the purple girl skidded to a halt. She threw her arms out to the sides, tipped back her head and belted, “I’m just a poor boy, I need no sympathy!” Then immediately recovered and punched Ivy in the face.

Commissioner Gordon was getting a debrief on a case from Nightwing when suddenly the masked man held up a finger, cocked his head, then grinned as wide as a cheshire cat. It was unnerving. It was unsettling. But what followed was even more so.

“Is everything alright?” Gordon asked cautiously. Nightwing’s only response was to bellow out a loud, “~Easy come~!”

Gordon took a step back, stuttering, “Um. S-son? What’s--”

“~Little high~!”

“I-I...don’t doubt that.”

If only the Commissioner knew that on the other side of the city, his daughter was perched behind her computer system singing softly, “Easy go...little low...” Softly, since she’s on the Birds of Prey group line as well. It isn’t the first time this has happened, but her girls still don’t understand why their leader will randomly start singing in the middle of conversations.

Bullock once called Batman in a panic. “Your boy’s danglin’ off the edge of a roof, Bats! And the stuff he’s sayin’--”

Bruce could only sigh, “I’m sure it’s alright, Harvey.”

“Not hard to hear, he’s practically screamin;...uh, somethin’ about ‘his time has come’ and a shiverin’ spine...and ‘leavin’ you all behind to face the truth’. Aw, geez, Bats. Now he’s on about how he wishes he’d never been born at all.”

“Red Robin’s fine, Bullock.”

“You sure? He could be on another one’a his coffee benders or somethin’. The kid’s always worried me, Bats. This time he could be--”

“He’s fine.”

And Hugo Strange was almost tempted to check himself into his own facility when he saw Robin leaping amidst a hoard of angry Arkham inmates, all the while groaning out in staccato monotone, “I’m just a poor boy, no-bod-y loves me.” The girl calling herself Bluebird, who was fighting nearby, dropped everything to point at the small boy and bellow, “He’s just a poor boy, from a poor family! Spare him his life from this monstrosity!” Little did he know that every other Bat in the city was belting out the same line, scaring pedestrians and police officers alike.

During an interrogation, a mob boss couldn’t believe his eyes when the Red Hood--leering above him with a fist full of his shirt--suddenly stopped dead in his tracks. Tilted his head as if listening to a thousand voices in that crazy head of his. Then he lowered the gun pressed to the man’s temple and groaned.

“Seriously? Now? You guys!”

Then, with a sigh, he added in haunting falsetto, “Easy come, easy go, will you let me go?” The mobster’s jaw dropped as he proceeded to watch the schizo in front of him bark out several ‘let him go’s and ‘let me go’s successively, as if singing along with the demons in his head. (The poor man didn’t know the half of it.)

And Jonathan Crane still has nightmares about the night he was squaring off against the Dark Knight himself. The Batman’s fist was poised over Scarecrow’s face when there was a pause, and annoyed huff from the man above him, then, a softly hesitant,

“Scaramouch, Scaramouch, will you do the fandango?”

The mere thought has haunted Crane ever since.

Not to mention Bane’s confusion at seeing the Batwoman and the Signal lobby back and forth as they got in hits and kicks,

“Galileo!” “Galileo!” “Galileo!” “Galileo! “Galileo FIGARO!” Signal took the high notes. Batwoman’s voice dropped very low for the rest.

Sometimes, a family member will have to whisper the words, instead of singing. This was declared ‘allowed’ after the incident where Tim was hiding in an air duct above a gang meeting. His turn came and all that could be heard on the line was,

“Thunderbolts and lightning! Very very fright-ning m-AAGGGHHH!” Followed by the barrage of gushots as a dozen gang members whipped out their pistols and began shooting at the ceiling.

He was lucky. Only a few small scrapes. But after that, whispering was permitted. As was saying ‘not clear’ if one was in a dangerous situation.

The only other rule is that every Bat must chime in together at certain points. But everyone’s favorite part is just after Jason, Dick and Bruce go on their back-and-forth ‘we will not let you go’ ‘let him go’ tirade.

Namely? The guitar solo.

Years of acapella over the comms have trained the Batfamily well. Some of them really get into it, pretending to strum air guitars, others only make the noises, (much to the confusion and terror of any non-Bat in the vicinity). Tim and Stephanie pick up the next few words, before finally, the mass rendition sobers a little. Things calm down. Usually, Nightwing or Red Hood can be found doing dramatic poses on rooftops as they pretend to be all angsty and brooding. (They’re not doing their best Bruce and Tim impressions...not at all...)

When the song ends with Cass gently singing out the last few words, Gotham City breathes a collective sigh of relief, and the Bats continue on their patrol as if nothing ever happened. As if nothing really matters...

(Feel free to add on!)

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two-face-has-two-faces · 6 years

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Likelihood of the Gotham Rogues hiding in a Denny's parking lot at 2am looking for cryptids

Harley Quinn: 96% chance. Let's be very clear here- Harley has DEFINITELY gone cryptid hunting before, and if she got a tip saying that Mothman was gonna be at Denny's at 2:10am/ well, she'd be there. 4% deduction because her gf might want to fuckin sleep pls Harley,,

Poison Ivy: 20% chance. It's really dang unlikely that she'd be caught dead anywhere near a Denny's, but if she was in the vicinity, and she wasn't tired, and her gf was there, and it was Bigfoot they were looking for? Perhaps she'd camp out. Perhaps.

Catwoman: 65% chance. An actual photo of a cryptid would be worth TONS of cash, and well. If she wasn't totally busy pulling some heist or flirting with batman- she just might hide in the Denny's looking for the Jersey Devil. She's done the math, that's the only thing that loves near enough to Gotham that it might feasibly show up at Gotham's Denny's.

Joker: 0-99% chance. Does this man believe in cryptids? I wish I could answer that question. Does this man hunt cryptids? Who can say. Is this man a cryptid himself? He wants to be.

The Riddler: 74% chance. He'd definitely go out to look for cryptids- whether to prove they exist or debunk them, he's not picky- but he'd only allot himself 45 minutes to watch. His favorite soap opera comes on at 3:00am you see, and with the 7 minute walk there and 7 minute walk back well. He'd love to see a cryptid but he likes his quality television more.

Killer Croc: 0% chance. Why on earth would he camp out looking for cryptids at Denny's when he knows full well that they'll all meet up in his sewer later for a movie marathon? Come on, be realistic.

The Penguin: 83% chance. Harley may or may not have let it slip that she hunts cryptids, and Oswald, not knowing the meaning of the word looked it up after poker that night in the comfort of his own home. 6 hours and many, many cryptid blogs later he was fully convinced that the Chupacabra had migrated north and he fully intended to catch it.

Mr Freeze: 50% chance. Unlike everyone else but Waylon on this list, Ole Vicky Boy here has already met a cryptid. He and Nora vacationed to the Himalayas once, and were blessed to meet the Yeti themself. Would Mr Freeze camp out at 2am behind a Denny's? Only if it was the Yeti in town.

The Scarecrow: 100% chance. Scary boy wants to meet the scary bois. He doesn't sleep hardly ever, so it's pretty possible that he just like. Set up a makeshift fort propped up on the Denny's dumpster and hangs out there most nights looking for any evidence of cryptids. Ironically enough, people who frequent the area now consider HIM a cryptid. Mission accomplished?

Harvey Dent: 111% chance. This guy-- when he was still a snot nosed brat he'd check out every cryptids book at the library at every opportunity. He regularly goes cryptid hunting with Harley and Oswald, and unlike Harley who has a gf, and Oswald who has a sane bedtime, Harv has nothin but Two-Face egging him on as they collectively search for Gray Aliens or whatever.

Bane: 44% chance. There's only one cryptid Bane wants to find, only one cryptid he'd camp out behind a Denny's to find. And that cryptid is- Double Chocochunk Protein Mix. Legend has it that the muscle gods themselves drink this mixture, but Bane has never seen it himself.

Mad Hatter: 13% chance. He's less a cryptid guy and more a faerie guy you know what I mean? Different aesthetics.

Clayface: -10% chance. He doesn't look for cryptids, cryptids look for him.

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