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frozeninice · 6 months

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Notes upon my re-read of The Hunger Games series by Suzanne Collins.

Part I: The Hunger Games

November 9, 2023

Warning: Spoilers !!!!

- Madge gave Katniss the mockingjay pin and kissed Katniss on the cheek. Was Madge part of the rebellion???

- Katniss was only 16yo ??

- Peeta telling Katniss and Haymitch that his mom, when she came to say goodbye the day of the reaping, “she’s a survivor, that one. She is” 😭😭

- THE BOY WITH THE BREAD

- Peeta, “I think we have a shadow”, RUE

- Katniss shooting the arrow at the apple in the pigs mouth. “Thank you for your consideration”, bow’s then leaves. SLAY QUEEEEEEN

- Peeta asking to be coached separately. I see what you’re doing boi. You’re trying to save her. I seeeeee youuuu boi.

- Good ol Haymitch. “You’ve got about as much charm as a dead slug.”

- Peeta’s “because she came here with me” AHHHHHHHHHH

Peeta being a boss ass bitch

“My best hope is not to disgrace myself and … I don’t know how to say it exactly. Only … I want to die as myself. Does that make any sense?” he asks. “I don’t want them to change me in there. Turn me into some kind of monster that I’m not.”

I bite my lip, feeling inferior. While I’ve been ruminating on the availability of trees, Peeta has been struggling with how to maintain his identity. His purity of self. “Do you mean you won’t kill anyone?” I ask.

“No, when the time comes, I’m sure I’ll kill just like everybody else. I can’t go down without a fight. Only I keep wishing I could think of a way to … to show the Capitol they don’t own me. That I’m more than just a piece in their Games,” says Peeta.

- “Nervousness seeps into terror as I anticipate what is to come. I could be dead, flat-out dead, in an hour. Not even.”

- Katniss is in the cylinder, with the podium thing she’s standing on rising to bring her to the arena. Random thought. What if one year, they actually launched the tributes into the area? They landed in like idk water or something? What a thought.

- Oh my god. This is bringing back sooooo many memories. Remember the Goodreads groups? Like discussion threads? I was in so many for the hunger games. You’d make up your own character and reenact the HG with other people’s characters. Wild time.

- Ah fuck the game makers for creating a forest fire. Don’t they know about climate change??

- Ohhhhhh shit. Rue pointing to the wasp nests above Katniss in the tree. Shits about to go downnnn

- “Peeta Mellark just saved my life.”

Katniss being dumb ass shit about Peeta

“You know the boy from my district? Peeta? I think he saved my life. But he was with the Careers.”

“He’s not with them now,” she says. “I’ve spied on their base camp by the lake. They made it back before they collapsed from the stingers. But he’s not there. Maybe he did save you and had to run.”

I don’t answer. If, in fact, Peeta did save me, I’m in his debt again. And this can’t be paid back. “If he did, it was all probably just part of his act. You know, to make people think he’s in love with me.”

“Oh,” says Rue thoughtfully. “I didn’t think that was an act.”

- OMG KATNISS YOU ARE SO DUMBBBBB “So Peeta is out there in the woods, wounded badly. But I am still in the dark on what motivated him to betray the Careers.” YOU. YOU ARE WHAT MOTIVATED HIM YOU BIG O DUMBASS

- Not Katniss blowing up the Careers’ supplies with 3 arrows like a mf badass

- “Let the Seventy-fourth Hunger Games begin, Cato, I think. Let them begin for real.”

Katniss not realized Rue has gone missing

- “There’s no sign of Rue, not on the ground or in the trees. This is odd. By now she should have returned, as it’s midday … She’s probably just being cautious about making her way back. I wish she’d hurry, because I don’t want to hand around here too long.”

- “I go ahead and eat the second fish. It isn’t going to last long in this hot sun, but it should be easy enough to spear a few more for Rue. If she would just show up.”

- “Dangling up in the tree, with the sun warming me, a mouthful of mint, my bow and arrows at hand . . . this is the most relaxed I’ve been since I’ve entered the arena. If only Rue would show up, and we could clear out.”

- “In less than an hour, I’m at the place where we agreed to have the third fire and I know something has gone amiss.” Fuckkkkkkkkkk Katniss only now realizing.

- “When I break into the clearing, she’s on the ground, hopelessly entangled in a net. She just has time to reach her hand through the mesh and say my name before the spear enters her body”. 🥺😫😭

Rue has rolled to her side, her body curved in and around the spear. I shove the boy away from her and pull out my knife, freeing her from the net. One look at the wound and I know it’s far beyond my capacity to heal. Beyond anyone’s capacity probably. The spearhead is buried up to the shaft in her stomach. I crouch before her, staring helplessly at the embedded weapon. There’s no point in comforting words, in telling her she’ll be all right. She’s no fool. Her hand reaches her it and I clutch it like a lifeline. As if it’s me who’s dying instead of Rue.

“You blew up the food?” she whispers.

“Every last bit,” I say.

“You have to win,” she says.

“I’m going to. Going to win for both of us now,” I promise. I hear a cannon and look up. It must be for the boy from District 1.

“Don’t go.” Rue tightens her grip on my hand.

“Course not. Staying right here,” I say. I move in closer to her, pulling her head onto my lap. I gently brush the dark, thick hair back behind her ear.

“Sing,” she says, but I barely catch the word.

. . .

Sing. My throat is tight with tears, hoarse from smoke and fatigue. But is is Prim’s, I mean, Rue’s last request, I have to at least try. The song that comes to me is a simple lullaby, one we sing fretful, hungry babies to sleep with. It’s old, very old I think. Made up long ago in our hills. What my music teacher calls a mountain air. But the words are easy and soothing, promising tomorrow with be more hopeful than this awful piece of time we call today.

I give a small cough, swallow hard, and begin.

. . .

Rue’s eyes have fluttered shut. Her chest moves but only slightly. My throat releases the tears and they slide down my cheeks. But I have to finish the song for her.

. . .

Everything’s still and quiet. Then, almost eerily, the mockingjays take up my song.

For a moment, I sit there, watching my tears drop down on her face. Rue’s cannon fires. I lean forward and press my lips against her temple. Slowly, as if not to wake her, I lay her head back in the ground and release her hand.

“Rue’s Farewell”

I can’t stop looking at Rue, smaller than ever, a baby animal curled up in a nest of netting. I can’t bring myself to leave her like this. Past harm, but seeming utterly defenceless. To hate the boy from District 1, who also appears so vulnerable in death, seems inadequate. It’s the Capitol I hate, for doing this to all of us.

Gale’s voice is in my head. His ravings against the Capitol no longer pointless, no longer to be ignored. Rue’s death has forced me to confront my own fury against the cruelty, the i justice they inflict upon us. But here, even more strongly than at home, I feel my impotence. There’s no way to take revenge on the Capitol. Is there?

Then I remember Peeta’s words on the roof. “Only I keep wishing I could think of a way to . . . to show the Capitol they don’t own me. That I’m more than just a piece in their Games.” And for the first time, I understand what he means.

I want to do something, right here, right now, to shame them, to make them accountable, to show the Capitol that whatever they do or force us to do there is a part of every tribute they can’t own. That Rue was more than a piece in their Games. And so am I.

A few steps into the woods grows a bank of wildflowers. Perhaps they are really weeds of some sort, but they have blossoms in beautiful shades of violet and yellow and white. I gather up an armful and come back to Rue’s side. Slowly, one stem at a time, I decorate her body in the flowers. Covering the ugly wound. Wreathing her face. Weaving her hair with bright colours.

They’ll have to show it. Or, even if they choose to turn the cameras elsewhere at this moment, they’ll have to bring them back when they collect the bodies and everyone will see her then and know I did it. I step back and take a last look at Rue. She could really be asleep in that meadow after all.

“Bye, Rue,” I whisper. I press the three middle fingers of my liegt hand against my lips and hold them out in her direction. Then I walk away without looking back.

. . .

Another mockingjay, a young one by the look of it, lands on a branch before me and burst out Rue’s melody. My song, the hovercraft, were too unfamiliar for this novice to pick up, but it has mastered her handful of notes. The ones that mean she’s safe.

“Good and safe,” I say as I pass under its branch. “We don’t have to worry about her now.” Good and safe.

- ITS A LIE. DON’T FALL FOR IT. DON’T BELIEVE IT. ITS A TRAP. NOOOOO. “The news sinks in. Two tributes can win this year. If they’re from the same district. Both can live. Both of us can live. Before I can stop myself, I call out Peeta’s name.”

- Ooooooh shit i forgot Katniss drugs Peeta with the sleep syrup, so she can run for the feast prize. You sneaky bitch.

- Katniss @ Gale. “I wonder what he makes of all this kissing.” ASHSHSHHS KATNISS YOU FOOL.

- Thresh sparing Katniss after learning she was allies with Rue and protected her before her death. An eye for an eye.

- I wonder what was in District 2’s feast bag that they desperately needed.

- Also, as a nurse. I wonder how one injection is gonna help save Peeta from sepsis. How strong is that one shot?? The fuck is in that thing?

- “It’s him. I do not want to lose the boy with the bread.”

- Mutations time.

- OHHHHH SHIT. THE MUTTATIONS ARE MADE FROM THE DEAD TRIBUTES!!!

The ending

“Greetings to the final contestants of the Seventy-forth Hunger Games. The earlier revision has been revoked. Closer examination of the rule book has disclosed that only one winner may be allowed,” he says. “Good luck and may the odds be ever in your favour.”

There’s a small burst of static and then nothing more. I stare at Peeta in disbelief as the truth sinks in. They never intended to let us both live. This has all been devised by the Gamemakers to guarantee the most dramatic showdown in history. And like a fool, I bought into it.

“If you think about it, it’s not that surprising,” he says softly. I watch as he painfully makes it to his feet. Then he’s moving towards me, as if in slow motion, his hand is pulling the knife from his belt—

Before I am even aware of my actions, my bow is loaded with the arrow pointed straight at his heart. Peeta raises his eyebrows and I see his knife has already left his hand on its way to the lake where it splashes in the water. I drop my weapons and take a step back, my face burning in what can only be shame.

“No,” he says. “Do it.” Peeta limps toward me and thrusts the weapons back in my hands.

“I can’t,” I say. “I won’t.”

“Do it. Before they send those mutts back or something. I don’t want to die like Cato,” he says.

“Then you shoot me,” I say furiously, shoving the weapons back at him. “You shoot me and go home and live with it!” And as I say it, I know death right here, right now would be the easier of the two.

. . .

If Peeta and I were both to die, or they thought we were …

My fingers fumble with the pouch on my belt, freeing it. Peeta sees it and his hand clamps on my wrist. “No, I won’t let you.”

“Trust me,” I whisper. He holds my gaze for a long moment then lets me go. I loosen the top of the pouch and pour a few spoonfuls of berries into his palm. Then I fill my own. “On the count of three?”

Peeta leans down and kisses me once, very gently. “The count of three,” he says.

We stand, our backs pressed together, our empty hands locked right.

“Hold them out. I want everyone to see,” he says.

I spread out my fingers, and the dark berries glisten in the sun. I give Peeta’s hand one last squeeze as a signal, as a goodbye, and we begin counting. “One.” Maybe I’m wrong. “Two.” Maybe they don’t care if we both die. “Three!” It’s too late to change my mind. I life my hand to my mouth, taking one last look at the world. The berries have just passed my lips when the trumpets begin to blare.

The frantic voice of Claudius Templesmith shouts above them. “Stop! Stop! Ladies and gentleman, I am pleased to present the victors of the Seventy-forth Hunger Games. Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark! I give you — the tributes of District Twelve!”

KATNISS UGH WHY CANT YOU TALK ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS EVER

I want to tell him that he’s not being fair. That we were strangers. That I did what it took to stay alive, to keep us both alive in the arena. that I can’t explain how things are with Gale because I don’t know myself. That its no good loving me because I’m never going to get married anyway and he’s just end up hating me later instead of sooner. That if I do have feelings for him, it doesn’t matter because I’ll never be able to afford the kind of love that leads to a family, to children. And how can he? How can he after work what we’ve just been through?

I also want to tell him how much I already miss him. But that wouldn’t be fair on my part.

So we just stand there silently, watching our grimy little station rise up around us. Through the window, I can see the platform’s thick with cameras. Everyone will be eagerly watching our homecoming.

Listening to the official OST

- the way “The Cave” introduces Katniss and Peeta’s theme so well. Sounds so similar to “I Need You” from CF.

- The second half of “Rue’s Farewell” hits hard. The emotion. The hints of rebellion. Yessss. Also fuck the Capitol for choosing Rue and choosing her death.

- Second half of “Tenuous Winners/Returning Home”, or the “Returning Home” part is interesting. As in CF, “The Tour” has the same theme. It’s a nice play where returning home and returning back to the Capitol has the same theme.

#thg #thg katniss #thg series #thg peeta #thg re-read #the hunger games #the hunger games series #re read #reading

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leossmoonn · 2 years

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stefan and you being on a car ride and a taylor swift songs comes on the radio (which is like from country era) and he starts singing along subconsciously but then he notices it annoys you so he sings it more loudly and that's where you fall in love with him <333

You and Stefan were sworn enemies (but let’s be honest you two did have secret feelings for each other). And bc your friends knew that, they always paired you up. This time you guys had to take a road trip to New Orleans to find Katherine and you were not happy.

You two would make up excuses as to not be together.

“She’s a horrible driver!”

“He stinks up the car!”

“She snores so loudly!”

“He plays the worst music!”

But damon is like “I’m sure I can get Bonnie to do a self car driving spell so you two can just make out and get it over with.”

You both just tell him to piss off while you get into the car.

So far, the drive was pretty uneventful. Until you turn on the radio

“Do you have to?” Stefan scoffs. “Um, yeah. The silence is awkward,” you say.

Stefan rolls his eyes and focuses on driving. Then You Belong With Me comes on and he can’t help but hum (it’s a bop let’s be honest)

Stefan sees you roll your eyes as his singing and he can’t help but stir the pot.

“She wears short skirts, I wear t-shirts. She’s cheer captain and I’m on the bleachers!” He practically yells.

You groan quietly, putting your hands over your ears to try and drown out his voice. But then he places his hand on your knee and sings to you

“See that I’m the one who understands you. Been here all along to why can’t you seeeeee? You belong with meeeee?” He grins

And something inside of you flips. Suddenly your face is warm and butterflies are fluttering in your stomach. You cant help but stare as he sings, obviously out of tune and obnoxiously, but you end up thinking it’s cute

“So, what would you rate my voice?” He asks after the songs ends.

You paint on an annoyed face. “-10”

“Ouch. Well, let’s see if you can do any better.”

“Oh, I’m gonna crush you so hard,” you smirk. “It’s on,” he confirms.

You two look at each other and for a split second there’s no malice between you two. It’s almost as if you two actually like each other. But as soon as Stefan turns his head away, you’re forced to push your feelings back down.

Little did you know, he’s in love w you too 😊

#stefan concepts #stefan salvatore x reader

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sun-undone · 10 months

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You definitely reminded me of some key points in season 3 that I definitely didn’t consider.

The château being burned down by topper seal the deal of him becoming an enemy. It would be EXTREMELY hard to see topper having a redemption story after that with some corny BS line like “ hey John b no hard feelings with the château, right?”💀💀💀

But just a warning 👀 if you hear Sarah’s voice starting off a epsiode with a reflective monologue of confusion and indecisiveness, then You know what’s coming 😂 let’s see if the pates intentionally screw us over with her character growth.

I agree with Jarah B being the stable couple as the other couples are still fresh and have some more exploring to do with their dynamic. I would love to see a bond created between JJ and Mike maybe closer to the end of season 4 to show Mike he can be the guy for kie and mike should give him a chance just like he was given one before he got accepted into the kooks.. we’ll seeeeee

NOWWWW

MR COUNTRY CLUB HIMSELF

Mark my words if Rafe does not become a Pogue by the end of season 4 he will die sacrificing his life for them with his final words laying in Sarah’s arms saying

“ I finally did something right”

( if I am completely wrong just forget I ever existed 🤣🤣)

LETS BE HONEST Ward created a monster with rafe. But rafe mistakes EAT HIM UP ALIVE which is why he is heavy on drugs. I still remember him crying because Barry didn’t have any coke for him one day and he freaked out. Rafe is a lunatic but not a serial killer. Which is why he went back to save Ward after putting a hit man on him. Rafe wants real acceptance! His problem is he always tries to fix his mistakes last minute.

Rafe isn’t a kook because of the luxury lifestyle. He’s a kook because of power and validation. Unlike topper who is a silver spoon fed kid with no siblings. Just a spoiled single child.

If the JJ and rafe fight happens. I think it’s early in the season. I don’t think they’ll make it a big ordeal. I feel like the Pogue gang will have bigger fish to fry by the end of the season if they’re on a new treasure hunt.

OK, please rip my response to shreds with your thoughts, I’m all ears.

Look at what this stupid little boat show has done to us 🥲

oooooh okay this is such an interesting topic, Rafe is such an interesting character to begin with, so i think his storyline in s4 is the one i'm most curious about. especially since we got nothing from him in the s3 finale for whatever dumb reason.

this is a very complex conversation to have, but to start, i don't think i want a redemption for Rafe! and i think they kind of closed the door on him sacrificing himself for the pogues or Sarah in particular by having Ward do it in season 3. i truly don't know how far they're gonna go with him seeking revenge on the pogues for Ward's death, or what they plan on doing with his character after this season, but whatever it is, i just don't see him turning a new leaf by the end of it. the ending for Rafe i'd most like to see is him going to jail and losing all of his assets and possessions, including Tannyhill, so Pope can snatch it up and make it a museum that tells the true story of Denmark Tanny. but i'm getting ahead of myself, let's talk about the really juicy stuff

do Rafe's actions eat him up anymore? i definitely agree that in the first 2 seasons, he was an absolute wreck trying to hold himself together with coke and by desperately seeking Ward's validation to keep himself occupied. but what about in season 3? he has that scene with Kie in episode 2 where he tries to paint himself as the victim for killing Peterkin, and i think that his denial truly runs that deep at this point. through spinning the story in his own mind, he's convinced himself that he did the right thing so he doesn't have to feel all the complicated emotions that we saw him feeling at the end of season 1 and even into season 2 in the aftermath of the murder. but in terms of Sarah, he does actually get emotional when he explains that he knows it was wrong, which is incredibly interesting to me. he clearly hasn't done the same mental gymnastics in trying to defend himself for that, so i could definitely see him genuinely feeling remorseful, which opens up that same incredibly complex dynamic that he and Sarah have had for a while now. there's a part of him that will always resent her for being Ward's favorite for so long, but now we can see that there is real guilt about trying to kill her. i think that scene really captures the pure instability of Rafe's mental state that still exists in some capacity, mainly in terms of Sarah, which we unfortunately don't see a ton of moving forward in the season since he barely has any scenes with the pogues. in general, he actually seems pretty confident and secure, maybe the best we've ever seen him, in terms of his mental and emotional state. so is the guilt really bothering him that much? the coke doesn't seem to be a coping mechanism for him like it had been before, like he was constantly using for the majority of season 2. but we just didn't see him struggling with his past actions in season 3, it was much more about his present and especially his future.

but for season 4, i'm definitely expecting a return to the more unstable side of Rafe as he plots revenge. who will he target in particular? who does he think is most responsible? will he choose to leave the other pogues out of the crossfire? if he gets the chance to kill Sarah again, would he take it? if he really was remorseful at the beginning of season 3, has that been overtaken by rage by the beginning of season 4? the year and a half time jump makes this much trickier cause maybe he's been trying to keep his mind off of it and do his own thing and resist the urge to get revenge but when he hears about the pogues getting recognition for their findings, it sends him off the deep end again? or has he been stewing the entire time? has the time given his rage the chance to simmer down a bit or has it only boiled over into something worse? now that he has the blessing of his father, which is the only thing he's ever really wanted, what are his motivations? how will he shift his way of thinking now that there's no more Ward to aspire to or to spite, and how will his mental state fare now that he believes that the pogues have taken away any opportunity he might've had to mend his relationship with his father?

there's truly so many things to consider and countless different avenues that his path could take, and i really do not know what is most likely at this point!! Drew hasn't even gotten to set yet so there's absolutely no bts to speculate about either. personally, i love Rafe as a character and i don't wanna see him killed off, and like i said before, although he expresses remorse in 3x02, i'm not sure if it's gonna be enough moving forward. i've always been interested in his character and have never shied away from the fact that Ward absolutely aided in fucking him up for life, BUT i just don't know if Rafe himself thinks he needs redeeming. and i especially don't know if he'll be thinking in that way in the aftermath of Ward's death.

but really, who knows???? i'm voting squarely against a redemption or any kind of sacrifice, but god, i am so so so intrigued to see where the pates take him.

this was really fun to think about and i could probably ramble on for way way way longer, but this is long enough already!!! thanks for sparking up the discussion! ☺️

#if anyone else has any thoughts feel free to keep the conversation going!#there really is so much to talk about and consider when it comes to rafe's character #sorry if this is all over the place i tried my best to make it as cohesive and understandable as possible #obx

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jonroxton · 2 years

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Clois in the ep. Infamous (sm) , do you understand cloùs conversation in the barn?

it’s the climax of the episode where everything comes to a head. it’s glorious, very fast and very complex (by sv standards, maintext and subtext working over time in all these lines). and we have (literally) no time to digest any of it. not you, or me, and definitely not lois or clark. there was supposed to be a kiss, but! things! are! happening! so!

lois is about to get arrested (as she do) and she says: "without my lawyer, you're not gonna hear me so much as hiccup."

(i HAVE to start with this line bc it leads perfectly into the barn scene also. this? line???? i love it. if you get arrested, don't talk, kids! lois comes off as badass and extremely competent here and I LIKE THE LITTLE THINGS OK)

clark saves her, swooping in after her. this episode is very old school clois, with a great external threat upending their lives. their dialogue runs quickly, adding urgency. we get a lot of gems in this back and forth that first All Plot, beginning right away, but like all great scenes, it becomes about their struggle within it. how they cope with it, how they interact against such forces. scenes like these reveal character, and that’s lois as a loyal hype man a little in love, and clark as, you know, clark, always worried about destroying everything. against any other character, this scene would’ve gone a different way. but lois is all FIGHT ME COME ON, but that’s a little further down this post.

SO. they swoosh in, back lit, hella romantic. but, you know, ppl r trying to Get Them.

"Nice interception, but you shouldn't be here. All the bloodhounds in the state will be sniffing you out."

prob the best thing about lois-knows what-if episodes is that she never quite gets over her awe in clark, but she does have a nose for reasoning things out. she compliments him AND warns him at the same time.

2. "It's okay. I know this sounds crazy, but in a few moments this will all be over."

THIS is why you barely have friends, clark. this is not an explanation! its just how he has been conditioned to answer, to protect his secret. but my brother in christ, this is lois lane.

3. "Okay, try me. My shock threshold is pretty high right now."

SEEEEeeeeee.

it’s funny that clark goes to his old ways irt explaining, when in this episode he has dumped it all on her. his kryptonian heritage and his powers and that the ppl closest to her already know. PLUS wanting HER to be the one to tell the world carries its own sub textual meaning (trust in her as a person, trust in her as a journalist, her integrity, her ability). there was a lot going on this episode, and lois is ready for more. or rather, she’s unfazed by the continuing madness.

4. “ lois, i have a ring that allows me to go to any moment in time.”

ngl, i’m proud of clark right here. it comes from two places, the old school clark, who knows he won’t have to face the consequences of actually telling the truth about all the weird shit constantly happening, and this clark that totally trusts lois and knows she can handle it. again, things are fast, and clark more easily leans into the absurdity of the truth bc lois has proven all episode she has a knack for it.

5. “i’m gonna go back to when linda lake ever wrote that article”

this little moment within the moment is truly glorious. because clark has walked away from her here, to get the ring, leaving lois speechless. which is rare and a sure sign of the apocalypse. but we get this moment of lois drinking in the new information and adjusting her understanding to just... keep going. to deduce what that actually means and why clark would do it at all. because she quickly understands and WANTS to do something about it. you can seeeeee it in her face even before she opens her arms to start a fight right then and there lol.

6. “the world isn’t ready to accept someone like me.”

man, clark has like no esteem. he has no high self-esteem, no low esteem. just like no esteem at all.

7. (ARMS WIDE) lois responds “then stay and fight back.”

bc BC even with the out of reversing time and fixing it all, lois’s first instinct is to challenge the challengers. it’s glorious GLORIOUS. even her attitude spikes.

8. “give people a chance to see who you really are.”

BC SHE KNOWS HIM AND KNOWS THAT PPL WOULD LOVE THAT PERSON SHE KNOWS. BC SHE LOVES HIM TOO.

9. “lois, my whole life i’ve seemed different...”

here’s where the dialogue goes into overdrive, where no one is saying exactly what they want to say, but enough is conveyed to warrant a goddamn kiss, *ERICA DAMN YOU! it turns this great climactic moment into something very intimate. it’s confessionals without knowing you’re making a confession. and there’s no time at all to go through any of it!

10. “some people spend their entire lives looking for a way to stand out. to be a person that anybody would call special. when you first told me who you were, my thought was, ‘anyone but clark.’ and not because of the alien thing. i’ve known enough guys to know that you can be born on terra firma and be light years from normal.”

SHE DOESN’T EVEN CONSIDER AT ALL THAT HE’S AN ALIEN. SHE DOESN’T CARE. it’s not a factor into her vision of him. it’s not what informs her decisions about him. like! CLARK’S GREATEST FEAR! completely done away with. not a factor here! so what’s special is not what makes one different, or alien, or superpowered, but what binds one person to another. what makes one person special to another.

11. “lois, you don’t have to explain. i get it.”

DO YOU CLARK? DO YOuuuuu? it’s around right here that clark realizes what he’s losing in a lois that knows.

12. “no, you don’t. how can someone with x-ray vision be so blind? “

BC SHE’S NOT TALKING ABOUT WHAT HE IS. WHERE HE’S FROM. BUT WHAT HE DOES. HIS ACTIONS. WHO HE IS. that’s what she’s talking about, that’s what she loves about him. and it’s reflective of her type lol and those types have tells. BUT Buuuuuuuuuut something is different here.

13. “i’ve been down the hero road before. and every time i made a giant u-turn. but this. this was different.”

tell me you love clark kent without telling me you’re in love with clark kent.

14. “and this time it will be different, lois. when i do this no one’s going to remember who i am.”

and then everyone will be safe. i want to remind everyone that every single time clark has told someone his secret they’ve either died or been severely hurt and brutalized. he has a legitimate fear. lois was about to be arrested for it. he’s protecting her and protecting the world and all that good stuff, but it’s at the expense of this stunning trust he has with lois that’s just beginning, that’s JUST started to morph into something. BUT THERE’S NO TIME. there’s just no way to explain to lois (and he wouldn’t anyway lol) how everything that’s happening is his greatest fear, how he’s dreaded this, how it’s coming true, how he can lose HER if it keeps going.

15. “and when you hit your reset button, you’re not gonna tell me your secret are you?”

“i’m sorry.”

THIS IS A VERY IMPORTANT MOMENT HERE BC CLARK HAS HAD THIS SCENE PLAY OUT ONE WAY OR ANOTHER A MILLION TIMES BEFORE. A MILLION TIMES HE HAS APOLOGIZED TO HIS FRIENDS WITHOUT EVER FULLY EXPLAINING, COMING OFF AS UNTHINKING AND UNCARING AND EVEN CALLOUS. BUT HE REALLY IS TRYING TO PROTECT HER AND HIS FRIENDS AND HE TRULY IS SORRY.

and something miraculous happens. something beautiful.

16. “it’s okay. why should i think i’m special? clark. i understand.”

lois is hurt, but she’s also empathetic to clark. and she lets him know. this has been lois’s way since always, she’s always been able to wave off clark weirdness. but this time she has background, this time she has a stake in it, this time she has fully experienced being on the other side of it, part of this other clark’s life. and she GETS IT. he’s hurting her by doing this, it’s hurting her visibly, but she fully gets why clark is doing this and she doesn’t try to stop him or demand more of him.

this is why clark is a little shook here. he can’t explain bc RUNNNNING OUTTT OFFF TIME, but he tries to.

17. “lois, you don’t understand. it’s because you are special. i have to go.”

HE JUST WANTS TO PROTECT HER AND BE IN A WORLD WHERE U KNOW PEOPLE WITH GUNS WON’T COME AFTER HER JUST BECAUSE SHE’S HIS FRIEND.

*so per some interview somewhere with an executive producer, they revealed there was a kiss in this scene, but when it came time to shoot it erica thought the kiss was unnecessary because of lois’s resilience and trust in herself and her connection with clark. and she was right.

a kiss would’ve just made the romance of it all concrete, made all the subtext maintext secure. but what we got made the scene all the more complex on both sides. you get to chew a lot on what the characters mean with what little words and time they get, and that subtext is that they WANT to stay together, they WANT to be able to live in this world where they both know and she’s his confidante and things are good and they COULD FIGHT. it does make it a stronger scene.

#mystuff #smallville #clois #superman #also this scene is just very fast and that speaks to a certain unknowing rush the characters are going through #i keep emphasizing how there's no time but it's so important to how it all plays out #they simply don't have time to say what they want to say #even what to think and feel #and they're forced to have a very intimate conversation in the span of a minute and a half #CLOIS MADNESSSSS

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onestept · 2 years

Text

Day 15

Today... we haven’t texted. Yesterday I was so excited and today was a slight disappointed but, not much because I’m used to the inconsistency. Also, I’m not trying to be a total dick because I know you worked like 10+ hours today. I think my desensitization is a good thing sometimes.

I’m going to try and quit vaping for my birthday and heavily reduce my drinking for the new year... we’ll seeeeee!

Your birthday is coming up and I feel bad you won’t get anything (from me) on the actual day but, I’m planning a couple of things here that are meant to be belated gifts for the time we miss. So far, all I have to send you is the photo strip of us in Austin and maybe a small framed collage of other pictures. I’m not even sure that’s something you’d enjoy but, I digress.

I don’t particularly feel like writing tonight so, that’s all for now.

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xpeachesncream · 3 years

Text

fun & games | lowkey drabble

fun & games // drabble two

↘︎ ft. the lowkey!couple

summary: jungkook has never gotten nudes, ever. until now.

words: 3.9k

warnings: cussing, mature language/implied sexual content, sending of noodz, short-haired kook working out, unprotected sex, cock riding/straddling, reverse cowgirl, maybe sub!jk if you squint?, some marking, breast/nipple play, cuddling, kissing/making out, peanut wears lingerie (a white lace bodysuit), pretty unedited so if you see any mistakes pls im sorry

note: posting this early since i have a few things to post/work on this upcoming week. a little drabble in honor of jungkook’s birthday coming up. happy early birthday to our boy 🥰 hope you all enjoy!

"Hey!" You greet Jimin and Hoseok as you walk through the door and head straight to the fridge to leave the food your mom made for the boys. Jimin was eating some cereal while Hoseok was playing another game— no Taehyung in sight. "Aren't you guys supposed to be leaving?"

"Yeah in a bit, we try not to get there as early as the crowd does." Jimin slurps his milk. "You look nice today, are you doing something with Sunmi?" You shake your head.

"No, it's just nice out. I do need to stop by and get some groceries though." Your lips come out in a pout. "Other than that, I think that's about it." Jimin and Hoseok nod. "Kook in his room?"

"Ya, he's working out I think." Your eyes light up because you had never really caught Jungkook in a workout. It was always before, or after. Never in the process.

You walk over to his slightly opened door, enough for you to see him doing pushups on the floor. He was shirtless and wearing basketball shorts, back muscles looking good as ever from this angle. You give it a few knocks before you poke your head in.

"Can I come in?" He finishes one more pushup before he's standing to face you, pushing his hair back with his hands.

"Hey peanut, of course you can." He smiles, sweat gleaming as it smothers his upper body.

"Never thought I'd catch you working out like this." You bite onto your bottom lip, making him blush.

"It was just a quick one before we go." He keeps some distance between you two since he feels gross, but he gently lays his hands on your cheeks, placing a kiss on your forehead and nose before coming down to your lips. His eyes roam down to your neck and down to your breasts, cock lightly stirring at how immaculate your top makes them look.

God, you were so fucking pretty.

"So, excited for your little gaming convention?"

"Princess, it's not just any little gaming convention. It's the Game for Game convention. They finally opened it up to the public and it was hell getting tickets since it's the first one ever here." He does a slight head tilt as he wipes his neck down with a towel.

"You're right, the Game for Game convention." You giggle. "Sounds fun. Is it in the city?" His eyes are still roaming up and down your body.

"Yeah it's in the titty— I mean city." His doe eyes shoot from your breasts, up to meet yours.

"I seeeeee." You tease.

"I'm sorry. You just look really good, I can't help it."

"Thanks babe, so do you." You poke at his abs. "I just wanted to drop by before getting some groceries. Left you and the boys some food that mom cooked." He nods.

"Thank you. You sure you don't wanna come along?" He shyly asks, rubbing at the nape of his neck while his thumb is caressing your wrist.

"You go have your fun, I'll wait for you at home. Besides, I'd probably only slow you guys down." You hold onto his hands and tippy toe to give him another kiss on the lips. "Tell me all about it later, okay?"

"Okay, peanut." He blushes. "Have fun with your groceries?"

"I'll try." You giggle.

"I love you, pretty."

"I love you, too." You smile at him before walking out of his room. You bid your farewell to Hoseok and Jiminie before leaving their apartment, getting ready to make your way down to market for some groceries.

On the way over, you decide to stop at the nearby mall to shop for yourself a little bit. You promised yourself you wouldn't stay long, but it had been awhile since you've shopped for yourself. You don't even know if there's anything in particular that you're looking for, but hey, it's a nice fucking day— you have this shit to yourself and you were going to make the best out of it.

And by the best, you mean.. grabbing lingerie? Honest to God, this wasn't even your plan, but the cute, white lace bodysuit was calling for you ever since you passed it on the rack. Hasn't left you alone since, even as you walk throughout the entire store, barely grabbing a shirt or two.

You needed to have it.

You walk back over to the rack, hoping the same, cute, white lace bodysuit was still hanging there in your size after all the time you spent stalling in the store. And it sure is sitting there, looking pretty and angelic as ever, even though the real reason behind lingerie is anything but angelic. A small smile creeps up on your face, thinking that this is something you could try out, something you could show Jungkook.

You know he'd enjoy it.

Hopefully. Might be a little overwhelming, but this would be a good thing to scope out together. And you had just the right idea— the right idea that would let you dip your toes in the water before diving in.

You happily grab the bodysuit along with the one, two shirts you grabbed and make your way to the counter to pay for your items. Once the bag is handed over to you, you feel like you don't have any other reason to be at the mall, so you head straight for your car and over to the market. You somehow feel complete, satisfied with your purchase for today. Pretty fucking excited to get it on and take some pictures for your man. Besides, it hadn't been long, but you were already missing him, and you more than ready to take him into your arms the moment he steps through your door tonight after the convention.

But in the meantime, you'll do your groceries, clean your studio a little, tease your man a little. It's all fun and games, right? Seems like that's what the theme was for today.

Getting home, you set your groceries aside and clean up a little before lighting up some candles that can burn through the remainder of the evening. You finally get time to try on your bodysuit, smiling at yourself in the mirror as you fluff up your hair and adjust the bodysuit to your liking against your form. You sit on the edge of your bed, facing your mirror, legs spread a bit just to give Jungkook a little taste. You wanted to make this special though, wanted to show off for your man, wanted him to want you and miss you the same way you were wanting and missing him. You've never had to question that when it came to Jungkook, but the thing you were most excited about was hearing his reaction— to see him ogling at you, heart eyes on full blast, fiddling with his own hands because he's not sure if he should keep his hands to himself or let loose.

You switch your positions for each picture you snap, making sure you give Jungkook a good view, getting every angle possible. You looked good, felt good. Lace exposing your nipples through the thin material, cups hugging your breasts nicely, pussy not entirely exposed so oop—

Maybe the bodysuit can go for the next picture.

And it does. You decide you can give him some full on nudes to place the cherry on top of your teasing session. You bite onto your thumb, scrolling through the pictures, choosing carefully, wisely, before sending them off to Jungkook.

"Oh, shit! Let's go check out that booth!" Hoseok says, doing a little dance out of excitement in his seat while the other two sat next to him, munching on snacks.

"No, I said I wanted to check out the Blizzard figurines first!" Jimin whines, mouth full of french fries before he playfully shoves Hoseok aside. "Plus, I have to keep an eye out for that thing Taehyungie wants. Whatever it was, I don't even remember."

"You guys are terrible." Jungkook says, pulling out his phone to check Taehyung's text in their group chat. Or, that's what he intended to do before he saw your notifications. He bites onto his bottom lip unlocking his phone, instantly clicking into your text thread and boy, did he wish he waited. "Hoooly fuck." Jungkook's eyes widen when he sees your sexy pictures, throat suddenly feeling dry, cock suddenly feels like it's suffocating under his boxer briefs. The nudes, the lace bodysuit— looking like you just stepped out of page 27 of a lingerie catalog advertising their new summer collection. "Fuck, fuck, fuck." He says, trying to get out of the text thread when he sees Jimin and Hoseok starting to get nosy. In the process, he manages to let his phone slip from his hands and onto the floor, almost falling over trying to bend down to retrieve it from the ground. When he finally gets a hold of his phone, he hits his head as he tries to stand, making him groan in pain. A mess.

"What the hell just happened?" Hoseok asks.

"What happened, butterfingers? Peanut send you some nudes or something that you're hiding?" Jimin nudges him and laughs, making Jungkook roll his eyes.

"Shut up." He rubs his head. "And it's none of your business." He flashes the phone at Jimin and Hoseok, showing them Taehyung's text from earlier in the day to shift away from the topic.

He just got fucking nudes. Your nudes.

And, he doesn't even know how to act. He literally wants to scream, but at the same time, he just wants to hold you— keep you in his arms, touch your buttery, smooth skin, kiss you everywhere. He wanted to do a lot, but at the same time, nothing at all. Just admire you, your beauty, your body.

He thinks about it so much that the end of the day, the rest of the convention seems like a blur. All he wants to do is go home, hop in the shower and rush over to your studio. So, the moment he steps through his apartment, he's traveling at lightning speed— tossing his shit over to the side, hopping in for a quick shower before he's throwing on his hoodie and sweats. He slips into his shoes, also almost tripping over as he hops on one foot to slip a shoe on before switching to the next foot. Jimin and Hoseok barely have any time to ask him questions before he's darting out the door.

"Wait, shit!" He says, typing in their code on the keypad to open the door once more when he realizes he doesn't have his goddamn car keys.

"Back already?!" Hoseok laughs.

"Shut up, where are my keys?" Jungkook spreads the papers out throughout the kitchen counter, looking behind the bread, under the bananas in the fruit basket.

"Here, genius." Jimin tosses him his keys that he found next to the playstation.

"Thank you." He says, tucking it into his pocket. "See you guys tomorrow." He calls out before dashing out the door for the second time. He hops in his car, drives straight to the studio, smiling at the little sailor moon and luna funko pop that sits in his passenger seat because he loves buying you things that remind him of you, loves buying you funko pops because he sees the happiness and glow in your eyes, loves when you find a special spot for his gifts in your studio just so you can turn to them when you needed some cheering up.

When he swoops the last guest parking spot in the parking lot, he sets the car to park before grabbing the funko pop and doing a light jog over to your building and up the stairs.

"Peanut?" He calls softly after walking through your door. It's quiet, doesn't hear a thing besides the soft music that plays in your room, sees the candle light flickering against your living room walls.

"In the room." He hears you say, teeth nibbling at his bottom lip as he makes it down your hallway. He turns the corner, almost dropping the funko pop in his hand when he realizes you're in that lace bodysuit, sitting pretty on the edge of your bed.

"Wow." Is all he can say, and you giggle.

"Hi." Your giggle turns into a big smile when he comes closer, keeping some distance because he still has his shy moments, still has the jitters when he sees you. But you always push him out of his comfort zone, safely, comfortably, beautifully.

He loves you, and everything you come with.

"Y-you look so good, princess." He says, almost close to a whisper. "Um, here. I got you this." He licks his lips and places the funko pop on the wall shelf, sitting it next to Te Fiti.

"Thank you, babe. I take it you had fun?" You wrap your arms around him, his hands resting on your sides, fingers gently squeezing and digging into your skin.

"Loads. But, after those pictures, it was a little hard to concentrate." You chuckle.

"I'm sorry."

"No, I-I really like them." He says, kissing the tip of your nose.

"I'm glad. I missed you." Your thumb caresses the scar on his cheek before pushing his hair back.

"I missed you too." You press your lips against his, giving him a soft, tender kiss before gently tugging on his bottom lip when you pull back. He keeps his eyes glued on you, curiosity now turned to lust in those pretty dark brown orbs of his.

"Maybe I can show you just how much I missed you?" You whisper against his lips before placing light, feathery kisses along his sharp jawline. He lets out a breath, hands digging a little deeper into your sides now.

"Y-yeah, sure. That sounds nice." He responds, chasing after your lips. You gladly give it to him, deepening the kiss, tongue dancing around with his before tossing off his hoodie to the side. You gently lead him to sit on the edge of the bed before straddling him, his large hands roaming up your back. His hardened cock sits right underneath you, and you can't help but give it a good grind or two, making Jungkook hiss a bit at the feeling.

"Lay back a bit?" You ask as you pull away, hand resting on his chest to push him down further. He rests on his elbows, allowing you to lean forward to swipe the surface of his neck, nipping, sucking, leaving tiny red marks near the edges of his collarbones. You glance at him from time to time as you continue making your way down, planting kisses along his pecs before your lips meet his nipples. His head tilts back, jaw slightly slacked open before he bites his bottom lip. "Feels good, Kook?"

"Yeah, yeah it does." He manages to respond as you move over to the other nipple, kissing it before letting your tongue draw in circular motions around it. You make your way back up, hand gripping near his jaw to give you more surface area to work with, sucking softly against his neck, causing him to let out small moans. Your lips travel up right below his ear, planting yet another feathery kiss before tugging on his earlobe.

"Let's get you out of these?" You say, pulling down on his sweats and boxer briefs as you sit up, giving him leverage to slide the rest down and kick it off his feet. He watches as you sit comfortably back down onto his lap, hand already stroking at his cock. He almost wants to lose his shit when he sees you spit down onto his member, your hand continuing to pump him a few times to spread the wetness up and down his length before letting go. His eyes continue to watch you— watching your every move as you let go of his cock to release the three buttons holding that pretty bodysuit together right below your pussy, watching as you guide his tip to your entrance, watching as you slowly sink down to let him fill you up.

"Fuuuck." He groans. "You're so wet." He says, hands resting on your hips as he lightly guides your pace. You let out a couple of moans while resting your hands on his shoulders. He filled you up just right, enough to make you full, enough to drive you crazy. You work your hips in slow motions, back and forth.

Back and forth.

Hands now coming up to tug on the hair resting on the nape of his neck. He keeps you close, lips grazing yours but not locking you into a kiss— and that's because he wants to see you, all of you. He wants to watch your face as it expresses the pleasure, watch as those moans leave your pretty lips, watch as you bring his fingers in between your lips and suck gently—

"Jesus fucking christ, princess. Are you trying to kill me?" You giggle.

"No, just want to take care of you and show you how much I missed you." You repeat, hand now lightly applying pressure around his neck while you fuck him.

"Gonna make me cum." He furrows his brows, pleasure bubbling within him.

"How about you don't until I say so?" Your eyes tell him so much. They give him a glimpse to all your deepest desires, the lust that's only growing within you, the love that you have for him.

"O-okay. I'll try. You just feel so good." You tilt your head back in pleasure, clit constantly rubbing against him while you continue to ride him.

"You're gonna have to try really hard for me, got it?" He nods. "Kook, touch me please." You grab his wrists, leading him to your breasts. He does as he's told, fingers pinching at your nipple in between. You push his head forward, allowing him to pop in a nipple, his tongue working around your bud before popping in the next and sucking gently before repeating the same tongue technology. Another loud moan leaves your lips and you find yourself pushing Jungkook down onto his back. You quicken your pace, hands resting on his perfectly sculpted pecs, hips working— rolling back and forth, loud moans and your wetness bouncing off of the walls.

Nothing less of pornographic.

You slow it down after a couple of minutes, and Jungkook is panting, feeling like he's too fucking close to the edge but he's trying his best to follow and obey. He peers through half-lidded eyes, watching as you switch positions to reverse cowgirl— your back now facing him while you sink down and begin to ride the fuck out of his cock this way.

This was it.

He was sending himself straight into the pits of hell. Well shit, actually, he wasn't even sure he'd make it after this one.

Jungkook tries to raise his head a little, wanting to get a better view of your ass and the way your pussy is creaming his cock, but it doesn't last long before he's laying back and trying to keep his composure.

"Kook—ahhhgod—Kook, I'm close." You whine, small whimpers leaving your mouth as you continuously roll your hips and grip onto his legs.

"Princess, fuck. Seriously. You're making this so hard." Jungkook groans before letting out a few whimpers himself.

"Jungkook—" You cry, reaching your high a lot quicker than usual. "Fuck, please cum. Cum for me, baby." You moan. Suddenly, you feel Jungkook's chest pressed against your back, his lips pressing kisses on the back of your neck. You get on your feet to bounce on his cock for a bit, giving him something a little different before working him at a quick motion.

"I'm gonna cum— I'm— oh shit, mmmghhfuck. Cumming." He says, in a broken statement. You feel him let himself go, cum shooting straight inside of you and coating your walls. It only takes a few more rolls before you're losing control, tipping over the edge and cumming hard— hard that Jungkook has to wrap his arms around you to keep you close, keep you steady. He's slightly feeling pain from the overstimulation, but fuck, you were so hot right now. Body was pressed against his, trembling under his grip, pussy squeezing the fuck out of his juiced out cock.

He was crazy about you. It might have been fun and games to you, but this shit right here— he was crazy about you. And you were too, you were always crazy about Jungkook. It wasn't just the fun and games— he was your man, and you loved every minute of showing Jungkook this new experience. You always want to experience things with him, always want to share in these moments with him. Because you loved him, you adored him.

Once the both of you finally come down from your highs and catch your breath, you slowly slip yourself off and stand in front of him, allowing him to clean you up before doing so with himself. He then pulls you to him, doe eyes looking up at you and lips meeting yours for a sweet peck.

"I should make you miss me like that all the time." You laugh.

"Yeah, maybe you should." You tease.

"That was new. Pretty hot to see you in control." He smiles at you. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For trying things out with me, showing me new things. Feeling safe with me." You caress his cheek and nod.

"I always feel safe with you."

"Good." He tugs in your lace bodysuit. "You looked beautiful in this, but can we get this off? I just wanna cuddle you without it."

"Okay, that I can do." You chuckle, slipping your body suit off and following Jungkook under your covers. He presses his body closely against yours, arms wrapping tightly around you while his face hid behind your neck. You feel his breath against your skin, causing chills to run down your spine.

"Peanut?" He cutely calls for you while lacing his fingers with yours.

"Yeah?"

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure, Kook."

"Can I, um, keep getting those photos from time to time?" He says in that adorable, questioning tone. "If you're comfortable, of course. I've never really gotten those before and it's kind of nice to get. It's a nice present, reminds me of how lucky I am." You laugh a bit.

"You don't have to ask, Kook. I'll send you those as long as you're comfortable getting them."

"Oh yeah, yeah. God, yeah." You nod and smile. "Please."

"Okay, babe." You shut your eyes, exhaustion from all that work suddenly hitting you.

"Don't get me wrong—" He pauses.

"Hm?"

"I love the bodysuit."

"But?"

"But I love seeing you naked more. You're so pretty." He kisses your shoulder blade. "Nudes are at the top of my list, if you cared to know."

"Oh, okay. Noted, for sure." You chuckle.

"Your nudes were gonna send me straight to the grave. I dropped my phone and hit my head." You laugh loudly now, teasing him about his little incident.

"No, you did not."

"What, do you think this is all fun and games? I swear. I'll probably wake up with a contusion tomorrow."

"You are not going to wake up with a contusion. Go to sleep, Jungkook."

"Okay, fine." He quickly surrenders, hugging you tighter. "I love you, princess."

"I love you, too."

"It'll still be on you, though—"

"Jungkook."

"Goodnight."

permanent taglist: @jimidol @miinoongi @sunflwrxclouds @thebeebi @ggukkieland @bluesharksandfish @unicornbabylover @preciouschimine @codeinebelle @shesoldbutcute @jikookiekosmos @awhnamjoon @namjooningelsewhere @bunnybearrj @babycoffeefire @bri-mal @sintaethick @taejkjoons @love2luvya-blog @jj134340

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gingeraleluke · 2 years

Note

🎀

I really want to know what you think about this one! but like imagine this, vinnie is on live stream and YN thought that he was just playing and they were dating but no one really new and you had AirPods on with booty shorts and one of vinnies shirt on and you just go on his lap and hug him? And the chat goes crazy everyone is trying to figure out who u are because they can’t see ur face because ur ass is literally in the view all they can see is your tats and vinnie hugs you back gives u kisses and u whisper something into his ears and he turns red and is smacking ir ass ……yeah… I would really love this one…. Im sorry if it’s too much to ask, I actually I’m not even sure if ur going to see this one because the other ones I sent seem to be not sent. Someone the other day said that they didn’t get anything but I think it’s because oh my phone.. idk but yeah hope u have a great day

okay, i didn’t know how to write this without it being super uncomfortable and weird for the viewers of the livestream, so i changed somethings to make it more realistic and respectful!

BASED ON THIS PICTURE

maybe y/n was being greedy, but she wanted to spend some time with her boyfriend. she woke up with a burning feeling of something that could only be described as love, and she found herself smothering vinnie all morning. after going out to breakfast and lunch, the two of them went on to do their individual tasks— his being streaming, and y/n’s being cleaning the house.

as badly as she wanted to peek her head in and check on him every now and then, just to see his face, she knew she couldn’t. his fans didn’t know that they were together yet. she wasn’t even sure if they knew that he wasn’t single anymore.

she tried her best to hide her tracks. cropping him out of pictures and keeping her instagram on private. it sucked. while she wanted everyone to know how lucky she was, she knew that she would be judged and sent hate for the rest of her life. being a secret was the best option for them.

she began tidying up the living room, swaying her hips to the music playing in her airpods. she wore booty shorts and one of vinnies shirts. her hair was up in a messy bun to keep it out of her face and she wore fuzzy socks on her feet to keep her warm. as she dusted and cleaned the tv, she began to miss vinnie’s presence. whipping out her phone, she texted her boyfriend.

y/n 🤍

let me know when you are done ;) 😘

why am i so needy today?

she plugged in the vacuum and began to roll it on the carpet. vacuuming was always her favorite chore. she found it satisfying and fun to do while listening to music, plus it was a good workout. she could feel the carpet become warm under her toes as she maneuvered her way through the carpet.

“hey!” vinnie tried to get her attention, a serious look on his face, despite how silly his girlfriend looked dancing. he picked up a pillow and threw it at her. taking out her earbud, she turned to him.

“what?”

“you’ve got to keep it down.”

“why? are the feds here?” she joked.

“y/n, i’m streaming—“

“OH!” guilt washed over her, “i’m sorry, i forget.”

he didn’t reply as he stomped away and back into his room, leaving y/n feeling embarrassed and shitty.

◦◦,`°.✽✦✽.◦.✽✦✽.°`,◦◦

around fifty minutes of cleaning later, she got a text from vinnie.

vinnie 💕

okay.

hmm, that was a short stream.

she skipped her way to the gaming room, keeping her music playing. she hummed along to a taylor swift song as she ran in and plopped on his lap. her eyes were closed, showing just how much she knows that room. she doesn’t even need her eyes open to know where his chair is. she could feel the hem of his black tee shirt and wrapped her arms around her neck, keeping her eyes closed.

“CANT YOU SEE THAT IM THE ONE WHO UNDERSTANDS YOU, BEEN HERE ALL ALONG! SO WHY CANT YOU SEEEEEE?” she sang as vinnie’s hands gripped her ass. she straddled him and wrapped her arms around him, in a hugging position.

vinnie was still streaming, but she didn’t know. when he texted her ‘ok’ he was saying it in response to the message she sent him an hour ago. he hadn’t checked his phone and assumed that the message was recent. he couldn’t shout her name, because then the fans would know her name. he just sat there shocked as comments fled in about who’s ass was in the frame and who was screaming the lyrics to an old taylor swift hit. they took notice of the large tattoo that was on the back of her right forearm. she had multiple large tattoos throughout her body, but they couldn’t see that since she had a large tee shirt on and no leg tattoos. the camera cut off the whole upper part of her body.

“YOU BELONG WITH MEEEEE! YOU BELONG WITH MEEE!”

vinnie’s eyes went fishing for negative and ugly comments, but surprisingly, most of them were positive! the meanest ones he could find were just jealousy induced, while most people were cheering her on and even flirting with her.

@ userone: PLEASEE WHO IS THIS I LOVE HER

@ usertwo: YESS SING

@ userthree: WHAT IS HAPPENING 😀

@ userfour: 🍑

@ userfive: ALL THE LESBIANS IN THE STREAM ARE GOING WILDDD

@ usersix: IM SORRY VINNIE, BUT WHOEVER THAT IS, SHES MINE NOW

@ userseven: does anyone know who this is?

@ usereight: VINNIE WHO IS THIS??!🙁

leaning back, he wrapped his arms around her and nuzzled into her neck, kissing her collarbone as the song ended. he sat up so the camera could see his face.

she took out one of her airpods, “that song is so romantic, we should honestly add it to a sex playlist.”

vinnie’s face went red as he contained his laughter, hoping no one heard what she said. “i’m joking, but also…. lowkey not.”

“i’m on stream, babe.” he whispered.

y/n’s whole body stiffened and she quickly jumped off of his lap. “WAIT, THEY LOVE YOU!”

y/n fled, her legs moving faster than she even knew was capable. her hip slammed into the table as she ran, but she didn’t care. one of her airpods fell onto the floor as vinnie tried to get her to stay.

“THAT IS SO EMBARRASSING!!” she whined, slamming the door shut.

as she began to walk down the hall, the stream could hear her shout, “THEY ALL SAW MY ASS!”

vinnie chuckled, “that’s my girlfriend. i’m sure she will come and meet you guys one day.”

COME AND JOIN THE SLUMBER PARTY!

#dolledup #vinnie hacker x reader #vinnie hacker #1k sleepover

624 notes · View notes

ihatebnha · 3 years

Note

hello pls can you write headcanons for the bakusquad finding sexy toys in your room?

LMFAOOOOOOO I can!🥴🥴🥴

I’m setting this under the guise of it being a pre-established relationship… Hope that’s okay!

Enjoy!

Bakugo

Assuming that you’re not hiding your toys from him, he probably finds them and just doesn’t say anything about it for awhile

You catch him staring at one of them silently and when you ask him about it he’s like “RAAAWR I DON’T CARE IF YOU HAVE THIS,” before throwing it back to where he found it

You’re kinda like, “Okay… but whatever I guess” and just move on, because knowing Bakugo, if he had something to say, he’d just say it

LITTLE DO YOU KNOW… he thinks about them nonstop for a while… before pulling them out AGAIN

When you catch him the second time he’s like, “you’re not using these, are you?”

(Poor guy)

You laugh, like, “…only when you’re away…” and he gets all smug and shit

Honestly he probably gets horny thinking about you using them and you fuck after that

LMFAOOOO though he turns them on once secretly basically just to “take notes”

Better watch out for his fingers after that

(Definitely washes his hands after touching them the first time)…

Kirishima

Poor baby

You know he’s not a snoop so you don’t mind him looking through your stuff, so he probably finds them on accident when he’s looking for something else🥴

Definitely gets curious and pulls them out, but after realizing what they are… he gets a little shy

You walk in the room like, “Baby, did you find what you were looking…oh”

He sitting there all cute and ashamed, rubbing the back of his head like with them in front of him like, “Uh…. I…. Sorry…🤕”

And you can’t even be mad because he’s just too cute like that

So of course you tell him not to worry about it… but as you’re going to put them away he’s like, “Do you… really use those?👉🏻👈🏻”

AKLJFJADJF

You’re like, “Yeah, but I mean… less now…”

Not the both of you just standing there blushing like little fools

Definitely wants to pull them out and use them on you at some point…

King

Denki

LMFAO you walk in on the stupid boy PLAYING with them, like they’re already buzzing in his hands and everything by the time you catch him

Definitely does not give you a moment to breathe once you walk in, jumping straight to, “Babe, why didn’t you tell me you had these” while giggling and waving them around

It would be kinda mortifying except for the fact that he’s genuinely pretty excited

Doesn’t even care if you use them regularly or not, he just feels like that’s more of an excuse to fuck you more often

Definitely tries to get you to take him to the sex store after that

He’s like, “I just want to seeeeee…” as if he doesn’t want to buy more that you can use together

AKA: do not let him get some hands on a pair of handcuffs… for both of your sakes

Will let you use one on him if you catch him in the right mood

Please keep an eye on him though, because he’s not above telling Sero, Kiri, and Baku what he’s found

Definitely pulls a stupid move where he’s like, “and they BUZZ!”

DENKI, WE KNOW!!!

(TBH it’s probably kinda funny tho bc I bet he’s not that sensitive to the vibrations because of his quirk…)

Probably also wants to try zapping your pussy… both of you would literally die

Sero

AHHH he’s so bad, he definitely pulls a “dis you?” in the chat when he finds them

You try to snatch them back and he absolutely will not give them up for anything

(God damn his stupid long arms!!!)

Probably asks a bunch of questions too AND makes you explain yourself

He’s mostly just messing with you, but he’s actually probably genuinely interested in the answers, so you don’t stay embarrassed for long (even if you’re heating up)

NGL would be down for a mutual masturbation session at some point (because honestly, he wants to watch)

Whenever you argue, he brings them up

“I guess you can just use your toys tonight, babe, sorry😒” or, “Not like you even need me with those toys around, huh?”

He’s joking but it’s kinda 😠😠😠 so slap him around for it

Be like, “You know what? You’re right!” and I guarantee he’ll be taking it back in 0.2 seconds

Mina

NGL she finds your toys and probably fucking… parades them around like it’s not a big deal

You catch her in your room holding like two of them at once, and when she sees you she’s all excited and cheering

Teasing you and asking you questions like “OoOoOhhh what are these?” “Can I try them?” and “You’re kinda a lil freak, huh?”

If you get embarrassed and try to snatch them back she holds them away from your grasp and starts talking about sex positivity and that she “understands!!!”

Still though, probably posts a picture of them on Snap with a caption that’s like, “FOUND BAE’S TOYS🥴😍” (as long as you give her the okay)

OMG, or “Boutta get railed!”

Definitely begs you to bust them out during sexy time after that

And honestly, at some point, you probably find her own collection of them too and she’s even worse than you

Gets embarrassed about it and now it’s your turn for revenge ;)

I want to fuck Mina now… Bye

#bakugo x reader #kirishima x reader #denki x reader #sero x reader #mina ashido x reader #bakugo #kirishima #sero #denki #mina #headcanons #ask #anon #caitie post #Anonymous

587 notes · View notes

narsicen · 2 years

Text

File 004: A Study on ‘Loneliness’.

Word count: 9k+

Pairing: Hwang Hyunjin (stray kids) x GN! Y/N x Lee Felix (stray kids)

Genre: a slice of life, romance, unrequited love, college au! best friends to lovers au! (Not for one of them tho </3) angst, some fluff, artist au!Hyunjin, med student au!Y/N

Warnings: mentions of food (Please do tell me if something is triggering and I missed it!)

A/N note: soooo, this is supposed to be a Hyunjin x Y/N type of fic..? And this has no relation with an upcoming Felix fic that I’m working on, and you guYS- don’t hold grudges on Y/N or Felix KJKJDFKJH it’s just how it goes, plus I didn’t wanna make Felix seem like someone bAD??? SO- uhm yeah. . . Enjoy!

Special thanks to @kookthief , @mygnolia and @taecup-ontrack for helping beta read this story </3 (and mainly putting up with my dysfunctional story LMAooO)

Writing down the words your professor spoke from the front of the lecture room, his words echoed throughout the space with the help of the mic that was propped on the lectern just on the far side of the big projector screen.

You would look up from your notebook every once in a while to examine the presented PowerPoint up front. Letting your elbow rest on the smooth desk, you lean the side of your head on your hand before finding your thoughts fly out the window together with the endless monotone droning of your professor.

‘That’s all for today’s class, get ready for next week’s exam, have a nice weekend everyone.’ A faint thud from the heavy book that your professor always carried to wherever he was, which grabbed your attention to the front, luckily you were able to catch the last words of farewell your professor granted to all the students in his class.

‘Y/N! Hyunjin’s waiting for you outside.’ Jisung chirped in from the entrance of the nearly empty lecture hall, and you stood up and gave him a small smile and nod that showed you understood him. The boy gave you a thumbs up just above his head with a bright grin to follow before he left.

You sighed lightly, pursing your lips as you packed your things into your bag, swinging it onto your shoulder as you steadily descended the vast steps down to the entrance of the hall to meet your best friend.

The sea of students blocking your face caused you to take a step back to avoid being hit in the face. You balked at the thought of having to fight against the flow just to meet someone.

Hyunjin watched after each passing head or body that bumped into him, pushing him into a corner in the hall to avoid being thrown into the flow. He spotted the familiar cap you wore to school today, and waved his hand in hopes of catching your attention.

Turning your head left and right to spot him anywhere, you hoped the color of his sweater would help you spot him as you turned your head left and right. Unfortunately, nothing came out of you aimlessly trying to find a white sweater with small streaks of red and blue when nearly everyone is wearing white or black and a few others wore something like red or yellow. You soon found a jumping figure in the corners in between the hallway, you saw his familiar brown hair that bounced when he jumped to catch your attention. Sighing in defeat, you made your way through the crowd to reach him.

‘Ugh, that was such a hassle..’ You looked behind your shoulder at the crowd with disdain, you turned back to meet Hyunjin, he met your face with a tight-lipped smile. The cap you wore covered your eyes so you had to tilt your head upwards to meet with his eyes—that looked full of discomfort for you.

‘You look better without the cap,’ Hyunjin gently removed the hat off your head, his other hand patted the stray hair that clung to the hat while he removed it and became a little frizzy, so he decided to flatten it and somewhat fix them back in place. He handed you the cap back, ‘Seeeeee?’

His gestures sure looked romantic from a distance, but his dialogue and the tone only reframed the childish picture that your friendship was always in. You rolled your eyes playfully with a light simpering grin, snatching the hat back and stuffing it into your bag. ‘Aren’t you busy? We could have just met in the cafeteria.’ You took off an early head start walking in the direction of your building’s exit, and he followed with hurried steps to your side, ‘Well, yes, I WAS busy but as a good upperclassman and best friend, I thought, why not pick you up or something.’

You nodded your head while you listened to his explanation, finding it childish but you decided not to act on it, ‘I think I'm old enough to walk to the cafeteria on my own, Mr. Hwang.’

‘I’m just trying to be nice!’ His arms outstretched to his sides as if he was being falsely accused and he was trying to reason out. His eyebrows furrowed, and his steps stopped when you halted as well to look at him. ‘Thank you for your efforts, then.’ You subtly replied to him, turning back to make your way out the building’s door.

Hyunjin’s eyebrows relaxed and instead one of them raised in amusement, jogging to follow you out the glass door. Your conversation was muffled by the doors— which only consisted of the two of you bantering and sarcastically imitating each other.

Flowers grow rapidly.

‘Would you say that my painting looks pretty impressive? Seriously, I feel like I’ve outdone myself again’ Hyunjin stood up from his stool, bending forward with his thumb that pressed against his paintbrush, closing an eye and examining his painting from a few steps back. You looked at him weirdly before turning back to his painting. It was a fully sketched-out drawing of a bouquet, specifically of blooming daffodils.

Beautiful, that’s one word to describe it, and even if the work was unfinished, you always knew better than to expect it to turn out downright bad because it never does, ‘It looks.. okay, I guess.’ You turned from his work back to your own, you’re not an art student but you occasionally find yourself in the art room with Hyunjin, trying to solve math equations or memorizing the steps to perform CPR while he’s painting pictures and scenery. While Hyunjin isn’t the only one who turns up with paint splattered all over him, you had at least half of what he had.

‘Be a little bit more descriptive please, I have to use it to be better!’ He waved his extra hand in the air to emphasize the word ‘please’, you couldn’t (or you just didn't want to) turn to face him, you slowly nodded at his statement with a hum, currently displaying that you were occupied with your homework.

Hyunjin noticed the lack of response from you,frowning at the sight of you hunched over another stool, answering on your notebook, followed by a huff. Hyunjin decided to leave you to work your assignment out before he poked more fun out of you.

Smacking your books on top of each other with a grunt, finally finishing a much-dreaded assignment, Hyunjin was still busy painting, or that’s what it looks like, from your view, you peeked from the side of the canvas to see how he’s doing, he was hyper-focused onto the pigments of paint he would apply along the lines.

You found this as an open opportunity to see something for yourself, and you mused a sneaky grin. Making your way behind him as quickly as possible (and praying he hadn’t heard the light stumble when you tripped on a notebook stack) your smile grew as you slowly raised your arms, with a small laugh of victory, you attacked his sides, his elbow tucked to your hand that poked on his side instinctively, he avoided his paintbrush from the canvas the best he could at the abrupt surprise.

He laughed a little too hard, his chair somehow tipped with him while he had a fit and now he’s on the floor probably still laughing. From the sight, you couldn’t help but laugh at his circumstances, you had a hand on your stomach and you supported yourself on your knee with the other hand.

‘You didn’t need to do that! I could have ruined and tainted my artwork.’ Hyunjin tried his best to sound stern, but the playful scoff he couldn’t control broke his expression, and his eyes crinkled with a grin curling upwards.

‘Yo..u- did you ..’ and you broke out into another laughing fit at the recurring memory of the boy falling, you wiped a fake tear from your eyes after the good laugh you shared with him.

You heaved a quiet sigh, bending over to pick up the scattered notebooks on the floor to put together with the rest of your books, you slung your bag strap onto your shoulder. ‘Are you done, by the way? I just finished and I think I should head back to my dorm soon.’ you glanced at him over your shoulder as you readjusted your bag strap.

Hyunjin looked up from packing away his art materials, the faint cluttering of the paintbrushes and pencils always reminded you that your best friend was an art student, and considering that you’ve heard this same cluttering ever since you started doing your work in an art studio, specifically the one at the end of the hallway of the fine arts building that no one likes hanging around in (they say it could be haunted but it’s really just the open window and the dust-filled room that makes it that way.)

But that’s probably what makes it even better, just about two or three brave students to ever enter and use the room but usually, it’s just you and/or Hyunjin. You liked to come here for the quiet atmosphere, and Hyunjin would find you just sitting in the middle of the room, copying your classmate’s notes from a previous lecture.

The one thing you observed for the past few months that you’ve been hanging around the art studio with Hyunjin was that he actually did not have a case or a bag for his stuff, like his art materials- just a ziplock and a paper bag and he’d just shove it into his bag. You thought it was absurd of him to not have a bag at least for his materials, considering how he’s been an art major for a while now. (he is your senior)

You decided against asking him why he doesn’t have a bag for his paintbrushes and pencils and you brushed it off as “it’s his business, not mine”

‘No I’m not done but I should pack up too, I can walk you to your dorm if you want,’ The boy quickly zipped his bag up and threw off his apron, spreading it onto his stool. ‘Well, it’s not really your choice, I’ll walk you there anyway.’

You scoffed, boo-ing at him jokingly while showing a thumbs down. Hyunjin could only roll his eyes as he threw his bag on his back and headed for the door.

‘Just get out the door.’ Hyunjin gestured to the door with his head.

‘Wanna get ice cream?’

‘No.’

‘Why not?’

You both stopped walking and turned to face each other, ‘I don’t want to, anyway, you’re old enough to cross a street and get your ice cream.’

‘Yeah, but where's the fun in crossing a street and getting ice cream on your own,’ Hyunjin reasoned with his arms stretched out to the road behind you. ‘That’s exactly something that you’d do!’

‘What do you mean by “something that I’d do”?’ You narrowed your eyes at him.

Hyunjin rubbed the back of his head, wincing at the sharp pain now and then that would return, closing an eye as he continued to try to relieve the pain. Seriously, what do you keep in your bag?

He realized the lack of movement from beside him which caused him to realize your figure that seemed taller than usual, you loosely hung your thumbs on your bag straps, tapping your foot lightly on the concrete steps. ‘No, I am not saying sorry for your “head injury”, and good night.’

Hyunjin gave you a sarcastic frown as he let his other hand drop to his side. ‘For a med-student, you sure do a lot more damage than fixing or caring.’

‘I’m not a doctor yet, which means I don’t need to take up being that nice,’ You averted your gaze to somewhere behind him while shifting your weight on your feet slowly, the slight flickering of the fairly worn out light bulb just above your head at the entrance of the dormitory gained a few moths swarming around it, the cicadas and crickets broke the quiet chilly night that fell upon the city.

‘And I certainly don’t need to be nice when someone indirectly calls me a loner.’ Glaring at him with slightly furrowed brows, this sent shivers down Hyunjin’s spine, and that’s not a treat you’d expect or want after walking your friend home.

‘I said I was sorry.. and I didn’t mean it like that! I just meant that you like it quiet, and I’m not into that quiet stuff.. Ice cream shouldn’t be enjoyed alone, y’know... it’s just more fun that way, at least for me.’ He looked down at his feet, slowly digging his shoe into the gravel on the pavement, the slight crackling sounds gave his action away.

You tried to look at him, but you ended up looking at anything and everything that wasn't him, neither of you would bat an eye to the other, it was true, you admitted to yourself that it did get lonely when you had to eat ice cream alone during your junior days, it might as well be good enough to melt, it wouldn’t taste as good anyway.

‘Whatever.. it’s late, I’ll head inside now..’ You swiftly turned around to make your way in, you hesitated to tell him to get back to his dorm safe, but then again it's all on the campus, what was the worst that could happen at this hour?

‘Ye-ah good ni-‘ He realized the faint bell sounds from behind the glass door to the building, and your figure trudging up the stairs. Hyunjin’s fingers curled down before he let his hand fall to his side, he found a flat smile on his lips before he decided to make his way back to his dorm.

Hyunjin rubbed his towel onto the side of his head, flopping to his bed on the ground, he didn’t mind that his hair was wet and the fact that his pillow was probably going to be drenched in the morning or the fact that his towel was ruining his sheets. Today was tiring, but that’s nothing new to his journal.

He groaned when he realized his lamp wasn’t closed and his desk was a mess, his materials were a mess on the floor and a bunch of old, tainted clothes scattered across his floor. And he wondered why his roommate wishes not to enter his room.

Hyunjin stumbled as he stood up from his bed, throwing the sheets that entangled his foot and tossed his towel onto his chair, he fell back onto the wooden chair in front of his desk that held his notebook open, scribbled out ideas and drawings of flowers were just everywhere on the pages, grabbing his trash can beside the desk to sweep up all the crumpled paper balls on the desk, he was about to finish up by reaching over to close his lamp.

His phone vibrated with a high note, alerting him that his phone was below 10%, Hyunjin grumbled loudly as he pulled his drawer open to pull out his charger. Dismissing the pop-up notification, he realized the small red banner on the top right corner of his messaging app.

Hyunjin blinked twice. Huh? He thought while scrunching his face. This was never a regular thing, and it obviously will not continue in the future. Processing the 4 messages you sent to him was a nerve-wracking experience for you, on the other hand.

You decided to leave him be, opting to worry about it tomorrow, or at least when you aren’t tired. You sighed, dropping your head just as you tossed your phone on the mattress, you hugged the blankets closer to your body, turned away from your phone in hopes you would be forced to sleep without any distractions.

A particular ‘ding’ fought for your attention, you itched to look if it was Hyunjin who answered or something, you labeled it under ‘it might be something important,’ but who were you trying to fool? It was 1 in the morning.

‘Ugh,’ you grumbled while flipping to your side, grabbing your phone to check, if only you knew what was coming your way.

You squint at the brightness of your screen, you curse at your phone while you navigate through your messages to get it over with.

The message itself was the reason why this isn’t and will never be a regular thing. You scoffed, typing a quick reply before tossing it to the mattress once again. Snuggling into the blanket that went up to your chin, drifting off to sleep.

‘Y/N!’ You glanced over your shoulder, shoving your phone into your jacket pocket as you gave the boy who ran up to you an unamused face, you watched him bend down, supporting himself on his hands that rested on his knees, trying to catch his breath.

‘What were you even doing last night, I would have thought you already went to bed when I texted you.’ Hyunjin raised a hand in front of your face, still bent down as a sign to give him a moment.

‘I was going to bed, but my brain told me to clean up my mess on my desk, and that is not my fault!’

‘You basically decided it yourself’

‘Y/N let your senior catch his breath,’ Hyunjin gasped for air while dragging his feet towards the entrance of the main building on the campus. You scoffed before jogging right behind him, ‘Well I have a lecture in a bit, I'll see you later then, Y/N.’ Hyunjin waved goodbye to you, he twirled around to shoot you finger guns before continuing his wave.

You rolled your eyes while waving back at him, ‘Yeah yeah whatever, see you later.’ Nonetheless, you had a grin on your lips.

Both of you parted ways to complete your daily classes and activities. But across the campus, somehow both of you seemed to smile while running on 5 or fewer hours of sleep, starting your day right, always starting with saying good morning to your best friend.

Flowers looked nice under the sun.

‘Y/N you he-‘ Hyunjin opened the door to peek into the art room you two always met up in, the dust that flew around the room became somewhat visible due to the bright lamp at the center of the room.

No signs of you in the room at all, Hyunjin fully opened the door to stare blankly at the rest of the corners of the art room, the quiet atmosphere was disrupted by a small ‘ping’ from Hyunjin’s pocket, with a huff he quickly fished his phone out.

‘Sorry, I don’t think I'll be able to meet up today, but if you really insist on hanging out, we can meet up later like outside the ice cream shop down the street.’ The boy muttered the words that you texted him, he formed a small pout at your text, he was really looking forward to working on his painting with you today.

Hyunjin threw on his apron before tossing his phone to the small table beside the singular easel, he sluggishly walked over to the unfinished painting of a bouquet of daffodils that sat in a corner that the light barely touched, the partially painted petals seemed like it reached out to be in the light.

The others who remained a sketch hid in the dark corner next to other paintings that were left alone, basking in the dust and occasional spider webs. Hyunjin observed the setting his painting was under, he turned his head to the side to watch his thoughts wander silently in his head, he doesn't know what or where they are, he can’t hear them, but he knows they’re there.

Hyunjin scoffed, but it only came out as a faint exhale, he reached down to pick up the painting, relishing the slightly dust-covered canvas and how the oil paint pigments were sunken into all the right spaces.

He faintly smiled at his painting, how fragile the petals looked, the way the stems grew outwardly in the way that it looked like it was being pulled down a little by the weight of the flower itself, if you took a closer look it felt like you could see and feel the subtle swaying as the flower petals were carried by the wind.

What a beautiful feeling.

What a beautiful sight.

Hyunjin brought his painting to the easel, he dropped onto the stool that was stationed right in front of the painting, he side-eyed the cup full of paintbrushes beside him. Hesitantly hovering his hand over them, gosh was it so hard to finally finish the painting?

Was it so hard?

Hyunjin allowed himself to gaze on the soft touch of the petals that lined with the beige-like paint that covered the sketch marks, the stem that grew crookedly but gracefully to its position. He realized the ways it all twisted so beautifully together, but so complicated in a way, you could trace with your eyes and see which stem belonged to which head of the daisies, but you could notice how they grew like vines.

His eyes flickered from the brushes to the painting of the daisies, his shoulders relaxed. He let his hand down to rest just beside the cup on the table.

‘What am I going to do with this?’ Hyunjin mumbled under his breath, he guffawed just as he instinctively picked up his favourite brush from the set.

Flowers are fragile.

‘Y/N!’ You looked up at the call of your name, glancing up from your phone to see Hyunjin waving from across the street, not just an ordinary wave though, it was the kind of wave that eventually would make you sway together with it.

You bit back the smile that grew on your lips, you felt embarrassed to say that this was your friend, your best friend to be exact. You made a gesture to tell him to stop what he was doing, it was currently 10:56 pm, but you being a med-student on their break time would also mean that your other classmates could be wandering around looking for something to eat to pass the time for a bit.

You hated being embarrassed. That’s a given, but it wasn’t helping that Hyunjin always tried to stick by your side. He jogged across the street to meet with you, face to face.

You looked up at him and he looked down at you, ‘So.. you’re paying for the ice cream?’ Hyunjin smiled innocently at you.

‘You kidding me? Their ice cream cones are like 65 bucks, no way.’ You glared at him, crossing your arms to signal that you aren’t going to give up 65 bucks or so for ice cream.

‘Right, right, let the broke to-be artist pay.’ Hyunjin rolled his eyes as he sarcastically waved his hand over his shoulder.

‘That’s right! Good job Hyunjin!’ Your voice went up a pitch higher with a sarcastic grin to follow (though behind that grin was probably your best victory grin at that time)

You both walked to the ice cream parlor just down the street. Bumping each other’s elbows with faint jokes that filled the bubble you two made around yourselves.

Flowers can mean two things.

‘Oh come on, that wasn’t even good!’ You exclaimed, you giggled faintly at the sight of the other, bent down on his knees, still laughing his heart out after his joke.

‘Geez...’ Finding your gaze up at the sky, you leaned on the railing on the edge of the sidewalk, Hyunjin’s laughter died down as he realized you moving on from the topic, he gazed in the same direction, he noticed the lack of stars in the sky and he frowned internally how could people deal with one or two stars in the dark sky and call them beautiful. What’s there to call beautiful when there’s barely anything in the sky?

Hyunjin slowly turned to look at you beside him, you continued to look and admire the twinkling star in the distance and a passing plane. He noticed how the sides of your lips were eager to go higher with the sight of the plane that passed just beneath the star.

Or how your eyes crinkled and reflected the night sky with the singular sparkle of a star, it wasn’t grand, but Hyunjin found himself staring at something so simple, but it made him feel something new, something weird.

Something like what an art piece would offer you, the beauty of the story behind the lines, the strokes and the paint, and the indescribable feeling that it fills you with when you gaze at it.

That’s what he felt -- Would you feel the same if it was me? Or would you feel different because it’s me?

What kind of loneliness would we call it when one of the two feels it, while the other gets to smile at them after all the damage they’ve done.

Would you call it loneliness, even?

‘Y/N,’ Hyunjin called softly to you, you hummed in response without batting an eye to him as you continued to roam around the sky. What kind of loneliness would we call it when one person feels so much from just an answer from someone when the other wouldn't even bat an eye to them?

Calling it damage might be too much, but it was lovely. What kind of artist would make something so beautifully destructive to the heart?

‘I want to get your advice on something, and I’m only going to say it once. Okay?’ Hyunjin seemed scared to even look at you. You hummed as a response to his sudden change of behavior.

‘I have a friend..who I’ve known for a long time now.’ Hyunjin looked down at his feet as he spoke.

He felt like backing out from this, but decided on going for it, he shoved his shaky hands into his sweater pockets. ‘I.. I think I started to like them… along the way.’

You looked at him upon hearing the little confession on his problems, you noticed how he wasn’t staring at you anymore, and he was fiddling with the tissues he had gotten together with his ice cream from the shop earlier.

‘… - If I tell them how I feel.. things might get awkward and I might ruin our friendship.’

If we weren’t in a generation of hate and broken feelings, would I still call this loneliness? Or being too ‘sensitive’?

‘But if I back out from doing so.. And not tell them the truth,’ Hyunjin huffed and looked to the black sky, before muttering the rest of the sentence. ‘I know I’m going to lose them to someone else, and I’ll regret not telling them.’

You were holding back a scoff to brush off the random “confession” Hyunjin gave you out of nowhere, instead of seeing him playfully trying to hold in a laugh, but instead, you saw his brown eyes that had a sparkle or two just like the stars in the sky, but they weren’t shining on their own or reflecting off of his own sun, it was flickering with a hope he wasn’t sure where he was supposed to look first to find it.

He pursed his lips slightly, why do you look so nervous? You’re only asking for my opinion. You thought, pulling away from his gaze, you glared at your, now gray, sneakers that you used to kick a pebble across the street.

Hyunjin observed you from the corner of his eye, noticing you fiddling with your fingers and your serious expression; he decided to brush it off to save both of you from growing tension in the atmosphere.

‘You can give me an answer next time, I have to finish a project. I’ll have a long night ahead so, I’ll see you tomorrow?’ He tried to joke around to leave the night on a good note, you chuckled lightly at his attempt at a joke. Maybe it was the ice cream? Or the feeling of desperation to leave this awkward situation, or the fact that it was 12:35 PM.

‘See you tomorrow, for someone older, you would think you’d be more responsible and not pull all-nighters to finish projects.’ Hyunjin walked backwards as the conversation went on, scoffing at your “joke”, you did mean a little behind the teasing, but it was all in good fun.

‘Yeah yeah, See you N/N.’ You waved to his back as he walked away.

Sort of leaving the night on a good note? Accomplished (?) Definitely a mission accomplished in both of your books.

Flowers are poisonous to us sometimes.

‘Uh-.. is uhm Y/N here?’ Hyunjin leaned over the counter where the head nurse sat, Hyunjin gently lowered a polka dot print randomly decorated the box with a white bow on top beside him.

‘Doctor L/N? Oh, I believe-‘ The nurse stood up from their seat, vaguely pointing off in a random direction as he spoke.

The nurse searched all around the table, hoping you’d come out of the corner from your rounds, ‘Oh, there they are.’

Hyunjin whirled to follow the voice of the nurse, both Hyunjin and the head nurse watched as you aimlessly turned the corner to enter behind the front desk just to slump right into a seat, your back facing the two boys.

Hyunjin scoffed faintly, shaking his head, ‘Here, Y/N seems busy, can you just give this to them?’ Hyunjin slightly nudged the box on the counter as a gesture to the other.

‘Oh.. okay, thank you! Get home safely!’ Hyunjin bowed politely as he jogged to the exit.

Whipping his phone out, he left you a small message in case you would ignore his message in the box.

‘Eat well, Felix made these today, and he asked me to bring this to you :D, it’s supposedly healthier, Felix said, also make sure to share some with the other staff too.’

Flowers are beautifully and thoughtfully crafted.

‘Hyunjin?’

‘Yeah, he asked to give you this.’

You caught the box as it was shoved to you, you curiously opened the box, you hoped this was what you’ve been imagining all week.

‘BROWNIES!’ You threw the cover off and went straight for the chocolate treats.

‘Hey buddy there’s a note for ya, man how could you miss that? it was literally right there, and you ask me why no one wants to give you gifts.’ You rolled your eyes at the nurse, snatching the note that he waved in front to mock you.

‘Whatever, go bother some other resident and mind your own business.’ The two of you exchanged odd faces as the boy left the room to do just as you said.

You heaved a sigh of relief, unfolding the letter to find the familiar handwriting of Hyunjin.

‘Enjoy the brownies, we should hang out more Y/N! Sorry, I couldn’t bring these to you in person, I got caught up in some stuff y’know with the student council and all, but all these aside, You should say thanks to Hyunjin for bringing these! :) - Felix‘

‘So this was what Hyunjin’s text meant, I should tell Felix to take a break.’ you muttered as you scoffed at the letter, stopping midway from tossing the piece of paper off to the side, you decided against it, and instead, you folded it just like before, shoving it into your breast pocket in your doctor’s coat.

‘Doctor L/N, Professor Kim is asking for you.’ The nurse from earlier chirped from the door, you groaned internally as you gave him a hum for a response, you pushed the box aside before heading out.

‘Hey giraffe, am I late?’ You strolled towards the boy who just glanced up from his phone with an unamused smile. You slid right in front of him with added jazz hands, Hyunjin noted that this was probably the most you’ve been all week, or ever, you just never seemed and were someone to do this. ‘By the way, thanks for delivering the brownies’

Hyunjin waved his other hand, dismissing the thanks you gave him, he finished typing something on his phone before glancing at you with a smile.

‘You seem happy?’ Hyunjin shoved his phone into his pocket while he scoffed at your random swats in the air after a mosquito flew into your face, ‘Can’t I be happy to see my best friend after 3 whole months?’ You grunted trying to move to a spot next to him hoping the mosquito wouldn’t bite the tip of your nose or something. You weren’t in the mood to want Hyunjin calling you Rudolph, in this friendship, you were the one calling him names, not the other way around.

You noticed the faint marks of paint that faded into his skin, ‘Did you paint today?’ you asked while nudging his elbow with yours, you both walked down the street to your favorite ice cream parlor. ‘uh - well, I colored a few petals and the sun.’

‘Pft-’ bursting into a fit of laughter, you hit him on the back lightly, for someone about to graduate, you would have thought he could be painting more than a few petals and the sun in the corner.

‘Being an artist is harder than you think,’ Hyunjin waved a hand in the air, you both joked some more on the way down to the same ice cream parlor. ‘Right, and I can eat my elbow.’

Hyunjin scoffed but had an amused grin, to replace his usual eye rolls. ‘Just get on with your order, I am a busy person’

‘Busy painting petals.’

‘Petals are still important!’

Flowers are either too incomplete or too much.

‘Shut up, he did not do that!’

‘I’m not wrong! You can ask him about it! I mean Jisung’s pretty unexpected, and come to think of it, he was bound to do it anyway. He did say he didn’t like it in his department.’ Hyunjin reasoned but you only laughed a little louder at his attempts, Hyunjin chuckled to accompany your laughter, you two strolled around the campus and across streets for a few rounds now.

Both of you refused to go back or end the hang-out early, you both had all the time in the world, or that’s what it felt like.

‘Gosh, Who would have thought he’d want to switch courses now? And just for that reason?’ You stopped to signal you were tired of walking, or you were tired of stumbling every time you two shared a funny joke or a story.

Leaning on the railing at the side of the street, Hyunjin went beside you and did the same, you both sighed softly, had you two actually had all the time in the world, you admit you wouldn't want to trade this for any praise your professors gave you.

And Hyunjin would trade any pencil or paintbrush to stay this close to you.

‘…Hey, Hyun.’

‘Hm?’ Hyunjin hummed in response, giving you a small glance before drawing back to the sky that held one star, if you took up a major for astronomy, you would know the brightest and twinkling star in the sky could be a star called Fomalhaut or, Alpha Piscis Austrinus, the loneliest star known to us.

It’s the only bright star in a wide stretch of sky that gives it the title of being the loneliest star. Hyunjin admired it, he adored the bright glow it gave off into the sky that turned darker as your wristwatch ticked. Was it an artist thing to feel connections with things they can’t explain, even through their works? Gosh, if you think of it that way, being one can be a little sad.

‘I think I can answer your question.’

‘What question?’ Hyunjin tore his attention from the sky, he eyed you curiously.

You gave him a knowing look, surprisingly, he caught onto it quickly. He blurted out a small raspberry. ‘Nah, I was just kidding with you before, it’s fine really.’

‘You sure? I mean I already have my answer and I’ve thought about it for a while sooo..’ You watched him cross his arms to look off in the distance instead of the sky like before, you did the same but kept a steady gaze on him like you taunted the seeker whenever you’d play hide-and-seek in grade 2.

‘Go on, if you already thought of an answer, don’t let it go to waste.’

You nodded slowly in response before gathering your thoughts. You say you’ve thought about it for a while now, but you didn’t have a concrete one, just some thoughts scattered here and there.

‘Well first off.. I don’t think you should confess to them.’ You eyed him for any violent reaction from the side, but you only caught a glimpse of him ‘studying’ a pine tree in the distance.

‘Because… Well, If they are your best friend, sometimes, they wouldn't, you know, like you that way. I mean there are scenarios where it happens but usually or I don’t usually see those happening.’ Hyunjin nodded as you went on.

‘Second.. I think they’d want to stay close to you without the weird tension or awkward feeling or something after, an-and I woul- I mean, I think they would probably say.. that they don’t want to ruin this friendship that they adore and want to treasure with you, I don’t think they would want to lose you because of the awkwardness later on.’ You explained, you kept your gaze straight down at your feet as you kicked a rock or two onto the asphalt.

You felt a slight shiver in your spine as you felt him burn holes into you. You glanced at him. He had nothing but a slightly furrowed reaction, you felt like turning back and explaining further but it made sense not to, you weren’t being rejected or anything like that, you tried to convince yourself, that you were simply giving him an opinion.

Hyunjin’s lips curved into a playful smirk as he threw his head back in laughter, this time you gave him furrowed brows and a slightly-agape mouth — just speechless. Though you were not amused at the reaction.

‘Gosh, look at your face! I said it was a joke. Come on, I don’t like anyone you should know that, since I’m SO in love with the art room like you said.’ Hyunjin wiped a fake tear under his eyes, you glared at him, grumbling to yourself.

‘Hey this is still slightly your fault, I mean it's not like you’re rejecting me anyway, calm down doc.’ Hyunjin patted your head while heading off in the direction of the school campus’ entrance, leaving you to stomp beside him and him teasing you along the way.

Flowers still look like art that was meant to be trapped in poem-filled pages.

Hyunjin chatted with his classmates while waiting for his professor to open the classrooms. A faint vibration came from his pocket together with a little ‘ding’ that chimed after the buzz.

The ongoing conversation that was shared among his friends continued, even with Hyunjin excusing himself to check his phone.

‘Hey, are you free right now? Felix and I wanted to have lunch together or basically just hang out since I don’t have anything planned for school lately. U coming?’

Hyunjin smiled slightly at the set of words, he swiftly snatched a look at the door leading to the art hall, he guessed he had a few minutes to spare.

The boy typed a quick answer, whispering a small farewell to inform his friend beside him, just as he waved to the rest of the group.

‘I can spare a few minutes to say hello :D be there in a sec’

Flowers always look for the sun.

Hyunjin supported himself on the palm of his hands that rested on his knees. He cursed himself for thinking he could run half the campus to the cafeteria just to say hello, then return in time for his lecture.

The boy sluggishly pushed the heavy metal doors to the cafeteria, as soon as he glanced back up to see where he was going, a group of his juniors bumped into him as they tried to leave the cafeteria.

‘O- I- uh—‘ Hyunjin stammered while shoving himself to the side, trying his best to hold the heavy door open for them. He waved and bowed slightly to return the gesture the group gave him as they left.

Holding his shoulder with his other arm, trying to roll it backward. The lesson of the day? Hold the door with your back, not with your arm.

Hyunjin groaned silently as he waddled through the waves of students to find you and Felix.

The sudden burst of laughter from a corner caught his attention, before he could raise his hand to wave to get both of your attention, his grin faltered with the sight.

Gosh.

Was this the definition of ‘what a sight for sore eyes’? Being a few meters from the table seemed like miles to him.

Felix’s smile was glowing, but something made it shine brighter. You were leaning on his shoulder while you laughed at a joke Felix made. Even with Hyunjin, you’d never do something like that.

You just couldn’t miss it. He couldn’t miss it. Hyunjin felt like he shouldn’t have agreed to give the brownies Felix made for you. Hyunjin felt like he shouldn’t be jealous of Felix, but he was jealous.

All these years, and every Christmas and every New Year’s Eve, Hyunjin would have died to be in Felix’s spot right now.

What a sight for sore eyes.

Some would say artists never miss a single detail and call it a blessing to avoid heartbreaks or mistakes. But would you call this a blessing? Had Hyunjin been someone else instead of just your best friend, maybe he’d be here laughing with you.

The boy plastered a newfound smile, he continued his implied gesture of a wave.

‘Lix! N/N!’

Some flowers were chosen to be planted inside the house, while others are left outside

‘Hyung!’ Felix called from the end of the hall. Hyunjin perked up from his phone and looked behind his shoulder.

‘Lix? Yeah, what’s up?’ Hyunjin smiled at the younger boy. Felix held onto Hyunjin’s shoulder for support as he tried to explain himself between breaths.

‘Woah, woah, okay just breathe, I don’t think you need to explain everything in one breath.’ Hyunjin chuckled lightly.

‘What I’m saying is! Do you want to hang out with me and Y/N later? Y/N suggested going to an ice cream parlor just down the street from the university, and I knew how much you liked ice cream, so I thought of inviting you.’ Felix grinned at Hyunjin. The other boy, on the other hand, felt sick to the stomach.

Why would you suggest that place? I thought that was our place to keep?

‘Hyung?’

‘Yeah, sorry, uhm- no I don’t think I can come, I uh- have to get started on a painting for class, hope you guys have fun on your little date though.’ Hyunjin managed to tease Felix just a little more.

Felix looked a little flustered while he tried to bring out an explanation without stuttering, he eventually started scratching the back of his neck while doing so.

Hyunjin softened his gaze at the other. What kind of a friend would he be if he would ruin his friend’s dream like this?

Hyunjin couldn’t help but internally curse at himself for even wanting to do something like that to his friend.

Does the sun ever look for flowers too?

There he was again, it was currently 9:26 pm, the same old position, the same old painting.

Hyunjin blankly stared back at the painting of the daisies, 3 out of 4 daisies fully sketched and colored, the last daisy at the left, bent over from the back of the other three, it seemed like it so desperately wanted to be seen, to be noticed like the rest.

The paintbrush that balanced in between his fingers, his favorite paintbrush, glancing down at the brush in his fingers, Hyunjin furrowed his brows slightly, why, of all brushes, was this his favorite?

The boy gently placed the brush down on the side table beside him. Maybe if he tried to use another one, it would make up for the daisy that longed to be noticed like the rest.

He picked up a new brush from the cup, dipping it in the paint he had mixed onto his palette, hesitantly, he reached for the last flower’s petals.

What’s wrong?

Why did he stop?

Hyunjin wished he knew the answer.

It just felt so wrong to use another brush when he’s been through hell and Heaven with the other one.

He knows exactly how the curves and streaks would look like with the other brush, he knows exactly how the outcome will be, and he knows it’s going to be good.

So how could he ever try another one, wherein he never had an idea how it would affect his work.

Hyunjin sighed heavily. He dropped his hand onto his lap, careful not to paint his pants or the apron. He stood up as he placed the brush down next to the other brushes he had used before.

He trudged to his bag near the entrance of the art studio, grabbing his phone that sat on top of the bag, he pressed the home button hoping he’d get another text from you, or a missed call, or basically anything.

Anything from you.

Hyunjin’s fingers mindlessly switched through apps on his phone, hoping to find something to get his attention so he’d have an ‘excuse’ to not do the painting.

The motivation was scarce these days, and Hyunjin couldn’t find a single fiber in him to even try to hold a brush or a pen to draw or paint a picture.

He found himself scrolling up to your contact. His thumb hovered over the call button, gosh, you wouldn’t understand how much he wants to hear your voice again.

Even if you two met a few hours ago this afternoon, it feels unfamiliar to him to not hear you around this time, teasing and poking fun out of each other while you two went to get ice cream, then talk some more until he’d have to drop you off at your dorm.

If Felix really does like you, this would be one of the last late-night ‘hangouts’ he’d ever get with you. And if you liked Felix back? This might be one of the last late-night calls he can ever have with you again.

Hyunjin retracted his thumb and went against it. This was you and Felix’s hangout, he can’t just intrude it because he feels slightly jealous at the turn of events.

He hastily pressed the power button and let his hand fall to his side, he pressed his eyes closed tight, sighing.

Hyunjin abruptly raised his hand that held his phone and aimed it at the wall, his sudden movements were caught, he stayed frozen in that position, half of him desperately wanted to take out his anger on this throw, and half of him was asking why was he so mad?

Felix did nothing wrong to him, you did nothing wrong to him either. Was he mad at himself?

His phone dropped from his grip and bounced onto his bag, Hyunjin crouched down and his head between his knees, folding his arms around his head. It wasn’t a nice feeling to be mad at someone for your mistakes of being late or doing something wrong.

Hyunjin hated the feeling. He desperately wanted to stop, but he couldn’t?

Slumping down on his chair, Hyunjin found himself in his dark room again, his desk a mess, just a single lamp open and a load of clothes on the floor.

He groaned as he picked up the trash bin beside his desk to sweep the mess into it.

His phone remained quiet and still, on the corner of the table, Hyunjin tried to pay no attention to it, but he couldn’t help but wonder if you were thinking and waiting for his text or call too.

Sure, you went out with Felix but wouldn’t you want to hear from your friend at least? Putting aside his feelings, wouldn’t a normal friend think of that?

He glanced at his phone, no new notifications, and just like the city, it stayed silent. Placing down the trash bin and picking up his phone instead.

Finding himself in front of your contact profile and a thumb hovering over the call button. Maybe you’re trying to sleep? No, impossible, you always drink coffee around this time, you’d surely be on your way to a cafe or something, could you still be with Felix? Most likely not, it was past midnight, and even if you were still with him, your dorm didn’t allow others to enter.

The list of possibilities went on in his head and all the time he tried to look for an answer to say ‘no, that would be impossible’

But nothing seemed to be full-proof ‘impossible’.

Hyunjin tapped the call button, pressing it to his ear, and for the next few minutes, all he heard was the dial tone repeating itself, he swiveled his chair to keep himself busy as he stared at his windowsill that overlooked the small parking lot in front of his dorm.

‘Sorry, the line is busy, please try again later.’ Gee, he hadn’t thought that you could be calling Felix right now.

Hyunjin put his phone down abruptly and sighed, not out of relief, but just out of the feeling of hopelessness.

He returned to the sight of his nearly emptied-out table under the warm tone of his lamp.

Until something caught his eye.

He turned back to his windowsill and watched closely, anyone would have recognized that this was exactly the first day the snow had fallen upon the city.

And Hyunjin witnessed it, at the very first minute the first flake fell from the sky but was it worth anything? To see the first snowfall when he had nothing but doubts and loneliness with him instead of you?

He watched solemnly as the number of snow fell to the ground.

Hyunjin turned back to his desk with a sigh. He wasn’t a doctor, or a physician, or a scientist, but it felt like he went through the worst a lab rat could have gone through, the worst stump in the road a driver has ever come across.

And the smallest mistake that seemed visible on top of an artist’s canvas. He felt as if he spent all his time experimenting to find what seemed to be the loneliest feeling he’s ever come across as a human being.

Hyunjin looked back at the seemingly never-ending snowflakes falling to the ground, at least they have each other? He thought maybe if he’d had someone, he wouldn’t feel like he was alone in the art room, the warm feeling of knowing you have someone that would meet with you even if you spent a whole day being tired and on your own, it’s just something Hyunjin always liked.

And now he’s unsure about that, as days went on, it seemed like he felt even more alone when he’s with you.

Feelings were never his forte either.

Had he painted a clearer picture for you, maybe you would have probably liked him back? Maybe you would have seen his efforts. How cruel of you.

Hyunjin turned away from the window, the desk he sat at seemed so foreign yet so familiar, this was the same table he planned all his paintings here, he had calls and texts with you at this very table, he did his first art homework here. (which didn’t always end well)

He eyed the wooden table-top that his lamp created this circle of a light, yellow hue in front of him. Glancing up, he noticed a notebook with paper pieces poking from the edges and colorful bookmarks that coordinate well with the paper pieces.

Dragging the book in front of him, he flipped through the pages, with each page passing by, a few papers flew out to the side, he paid no mind as he was preoccupied with the artworks filled with notes and notes to himself.

‘You’re doing great!’

‘Keep going!’

‘:)’

‘You did a lot of improvements today.’

He cringed slightly at the little sticky notes he pasted on top of sketches and notes from classes he had before. He held up pretty fine, all these cheesy memories were distracting him from the quiet room he would call his bedroom.

“You should stop eating paint all day and actually get out of the art room :/ If you get lonely eating in the cafeteria, just text me. Take care of yourself, stupid. >:/

-Y/N”

Hyunjin smiled slightly at the note he had come across randomly, he pressed on the pages, spreading out any wrinkles, he accidentally smudged a part of the rough sketch he had, his smile faltered slightly.

‘So there you were the whole time.’ He muttered to himself.

Leaning back in his seat, he examined the rough sketch of his painting, the bouquet of daisies. He saw all the details he tried to fit in the pages. Hyunjin read each thought his past self wrote, the details and ideas with the color palette that he “tried” to custom make.

He sighed.

“Make it beautiful for Y/N.”

“Daisies, probably because it means new beginnings.”

“Daffodils mean unequaled feelings, but on the other hand it also means, “The sun is always shining when I’m with you.” Isn’t that pretty?”

Hyunjin scrambled to put all the pages that flung off to the side of the table, sandwiching them into the book hastily. Slamming the book closed, he frowned at his own circumstances.

Maybe physically, he wasn’t alone, but being with you, sometimes he has never felt so alone, but sometimes you made him feel Iike he was worth it.

He gripped the sides of the notebook, it looked messier than it was before he took a look at it. Gosh, what’s wrong with me? Hyunjin closed his eyes, he sighed heavily, he didn’t know what he felt, but he knew he didn’t like it. If he hadn’t felt like this the majority of the time with you, he didn’t think he’d be familiar with this feeling.

“I think it would have been better if we had never met.”

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