#I’ve been struggling really bad and i needed support but no one would talk to me for more than 2 minutes | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

starshideurfics · 13 days

Text

Can’t go home alone

steddie, aob, hurt/comfort, established secret relationship

I just can’t leave this concept alone 🥰

Pain pulses over and behind and around Steve’s eye along with the beat of his heart. It isn’t as bad as it was even an hour ago, and definitely not as bad as when he and Robin puked their guts out in the movie theater restroom.

But his head hurts. His chest hurts. And he just wants to curl up in his nest and hope his parents don’t come home in time to see him like this.

But the paramedic checking him says he’s definitely got a concussion. “Have you got someone who can keep an eye on you for the next 48 hours?”

“I… Yeah, I do.” Steve leans his head on Robin’s shoulder, needing the support as he’s hit with a sudden dizzy spell. He really doesn’t want to hurl again.

“Steve,” Robin whispers, “There’s no way my mom is letting me stay at your house for two days. Or letting you stay at mine. She would freak if I had an omega in my room.”

“I know,” Steve mumbles back. “‘Preciate the offer, Robbie, but I’ve got someone.”

“Steve. You can’t just shrug this off!”

“I’m not! I do have someone.” He pouts, breathes deep, her scent sour still from the truth serum leaving her system. His face is hidden in her short hair as he mumbles, “I’ll stay with Eddie.” Steve’s so tired.

He just wants to rest his eyes a minute, but Robin shakes his shoulder.

“Eddie? Steve what are you talking about?”

“I’ll stay at Eddie’s. He’ll take care of me.”

Robin is struggling to focus, her brain not as scrambled as Steve’s, but after a day and a half without enough to eat or drink coupled with everything else, she’s just as tired and confused. “Eddie who?”

Tires screech to a stop at the edge of the Starcourt parking lot, the closest cars can come now with the barriers up. Steve whips his head around to look towards the noise and his head spins. But then he sees a familiar, shitty van, the driver’s door opening and closing loud enough for Steve to hear the slam over the surrounding hubbub.

Pushing himself to his feet, Steve starts walking towards the streak of denim and dark curls racing towards him. He’s grinning like an idiot as Eddie stops just short of barreling into him, the rangy alpha delicately cupping his face. “Steve, baby, what the hell happened?” His fingers brush gently along Steve’s brow, over the cut on his lower lip. “I saw on the news—about the fire—called your place a dozen times and no one picked up. Been half-crazy worrin’ over you, and it looks like I was right to.”

“M’sorry,” Steve mumbles, pressing his cheek into Eddie’s touch.

“No, baby, not your fault. I’m just glad it isn’t worse.” He pulls Steve close, guides his face to the scent gland at his neck, and kisses his hair. “I’ve got you.”

Steve begins to purr, feeling safe for the first time in two days. “Can we go home?”

“Yeah, let’s get the hell out of here.”

“Wait! I gotta tell Robin!”

“What? Is Buckley here, too?”

Steve doesn’t answer, just pulls out of Eddie’s grip and stumbles back to the ambulance where Robin is still waiting, wrapped in an emergency blanket, her blue eyes glued to him as he approaches. “You’re dating Eddie Munson?” The, ‘and you didn’t say anything about that when we were spilling our guts literally and metaphorically on the bathroom floor’ is implied.

“Yeah. Eddie’s the best. He’s really sweet and he’s got a big—”

“Please don’t make me barf on you by finishing that sentence. I do not need to know what you and your alpha get up to behind closed doors.” Robin reaches for his hand. “Just… Call me in the morning, okay?”

“Okay.” Steve squeezes her fingers before loping back to Eddie and snuggling into his boyfriend’s chest.

Eddie rubs at Steve’s back. “Ready to go?”

“Yeah. I’m hungry.”

“Want me to make you a grilled cheese when we get back to my place?”

“Uh-huh.” Steve nods enthusiastically, only to bring on a wave of nausea, forcing him to shut his eyes and put all his weight on Eddie.

“Maybe I should just get you into bed.”

Steve moans wordlessly, lets himself be manhandled into the van, barely noticing anything beyond the bumps in the road that make his head ache more.

Once they reach Forest Hills, Eddie plops Steve on the couch, brings him water and a bag of frozen peas for his eye, and turns his attention to frying two sandwiches.

After Steve is fed, Eddie helps him into the shower, washing his hair in the tiny bathroom, and getting rid of the dried blood and days’ worth of sweat.

They dry off together, and Eddie bundles Steve into his bed, their naked bodies pressed close beneath the covers. “I’ve got you, baby,” Eddie whispers, dropping a kiss to Steve’s unbruised temple. “You rest. And if you need anything, let me know, I’ll get it for you.”

“I know,” Steve hums, snuggling impossibly closer. “Love you.”

“Love you too, baby. Now sleep.”

#steddie #omegaverse #fanfiction #alpha eddie munson #omega steve harrington #ficlet #stranger things fic

306 notes · View notes

7ndipity · 5 months

Text

Their S/o Has Depression

Ot7 x Reader

Summary: How they would respond to their S/o having depression(or having had depression in the past)

Warnings: mentions of depressive episodes, not proofread

A/N: Thank you to the lovely anon who requested this! I’ve actually thought about writing something about this several times, as it’s something I’ve dealt with for many years, but wasn’t quite sure how to go about it.

Reminder to anyone who needs to hear it that you are loved, you will be okay eventually, but it’s okay to not be okay right now. If you need anyone to talk/vent to, I’m here for you💜

Masterlist

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

Jin: He would probably be really quiet when you first tell him, just trying to understand and take everything in. Tries to pay closer attention to your moods, and handles you a little softer on the days when you need it. He does his absolute most to make you smile everyday, even if it’s just for a second. He knows it doesn’t make the darkness go away, but sometimes those little moments of light are enough to get you through.

Yoongi: He’s also had his share of struggles with this in the past, so I feel like he might have picked up on some cues, but waited for you to bring it up when you were ready. He tries to subtly look out for you without being overbearing, checking in throughout the day and helping out where he can. Understands that some days you just need to be quiet and ride out the storm, so he’ll just lay with you, keeping a hand out for you to grab if you need it.

Hobi: It would hurt his heart so much to know you’ve gone through/are going through that kind of pain, but he would be so grateful that you trusted him enough to share your struggles with him. If it’s ongoing, he would be super attentive to your moods, trying to help out and support you in little ways wherever he can, whether that’s doing the dishes, making sure you’re eating properly, or just showing you funny videos he found online to make you laugh.

Namjoon: He’s been rather open about his own struggles with depression, so I think he’d be very understanding and sympathetic when you tell him. Very proactive about talking through whatever it is you’re feeling, even if you think it’s stupid or unimportant. Tries to get you to go out or take walks with him on better days, just to make sure you get some fresh air and sunlight regularly, and help make sure you're looking after your physical health as well as your mental.

Jimin: It would break his heart to realize that you struggled/are struggling with this, but his sole focus would become how to help/comfort you. He’s really empathetic, so he would pick up on every little shift in your moods. He understands that sometimes you just need to be reminded that you’re not alone, so he’ll just wrap himself around you on days when you can’t do much, holding you together till you can put the pieces back yourself.

Taehyung: As sad as he is to find out about your struggles, I feel like he’s really good at normalizing things like this without being dismissive, checking in with a number system or smth so you don’t have to talk if you don’t wanna(10’s good, 1’s bad) Has a way of saying the most comforting things in the simplest way(like when he reminded that one fan that she was already a good daughter just by existing). Will lay in bed with you on low days, talking about whatever comes to mind just to help distract you.

Jungkook: As soon as you tell him, he goes into protector mode. He can struggle sometimes to find the right words, so he tends to express his care more through actions. If you can’t bring yourself to clean your apartment, he’ll do it for you(while commentating to you as if it’s a talk show). If you need to just sleep, he’ll curl up with you and keep you safe. The type you can call at 2am cause you don’t wanna be alone, and he’s got his shoes on and out the door before you’ve finished talking.

Taglist: @sopebubbles-replies @btsw1fe @this-must-be-my-tardis @whitefoxgirl @bethanysnow @coffeedepressionsoup @main-bangtansmauyeondan @captainorangegoose @k4ngelz

412 notes · View notes

feyhunter78 · 10 months

Note

AAAA I’M SO EXCITED FOR THE NEXT PART I LOVE YOUR WRITING SMM ❤️❤️

Thank you!!!! 🥺🥺 I'm excited to see y'all's reactions to the newest chapterrrrr Also, I lied about the smut it's in the next chapter, but there is some suggestive type stuff unfortunately it's from Todd

Pink Pastels Pt 9

Description: It's Saturday, and you're at a sports bar with Todd, until you find yourself on the roof with Spiderman.

Pt 10

It’s Saturday. One of your two days off, and all you want to do is relax, but here you are at a shitty sports bar, beer already spilled on your shorts by some drunk idiot, your boyfriend completely ignoring you as he pounds his fist against the bar, screaming at the TV. His team is losing, you assume, as you push away from the bar, drink in hand, and wonder back to your table.

You pull out your phone and scroll through your email, responding to a few, ignoring others, until finally you see a response from a kid in your class’s mother.

Jessica Tompson: Ms. Y/N, I will be available at six PM on Monday to meet with you regarding Tommy’s behavior. I look forward to getting to the bottom of this issue.

You smile and send her a quick response back; you’ve been trying to get Tommy’s mother in for a meeting since October. Tommy wasn’t a bad kid, he just needed extra support and attention, and potentially some ADHD testing. But you knew people were hesitant to test their kids, afraid to “label” them, even though those “labels” could really help their kids in school.

You couldn’t count how many times you’ve explained that identifying where kids are struggling can get them access to accommodations that they need to thrive. Such as extra time on assignments or a quieter, smaller room to take tests in, so they weren’t as distracted. Sure, they wouldn’t get these things forever, but if they got them now, it would help them learn how to self-regulate for the future.

You tap your fingers on the tabletop happily and bound over to Todd. “Hey, guess what, I’m finally getting that mom to come in and talk to me.”

“Who?” He asks, beer in hand, his eyes glued to the screen.

“Tommy Tompson’s mom.”

“Oh, the hot one with the nice rack?”

One of his friends high-fives him, and you put on a tight smile. “I don’t really look at my students’ parents like that, but maybe?”

He rolls his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, I’ve got eyes, sue me.” Then he slammed his beer down on the bar. “Are you fucki—that’s bullshit, Ref!”

Miguel wouldn’t say things like that, he wouldn’t ignore you for football. He’d congratulate you, slip between your legs, his full lips parted, his pink tongue finding a hom— You shake yourself out of your thoughts.

This was crazy, you shouldn’t have done that… Should have stuck to fantasizing about a celebrity, or well, you should’ve been thinking about Todd, he is your boyfriend.

“What a shitty call, Ref!” You echo him, and that earns you a smile thrown your way, and an arm around your shoulders.

You just want things to go back to how they used to be, but honestly, you’re not even sure it used to be good. Maybe you just didn’t really know any different, but now after, all those little chats at pickup, during parent teacher meetings, and then the day at the zoo? How is it that a man, who barely knows you, treats you better than your boyfriend of years?

You walk home with Todd leaning heavily on you, his lips are on your neck, sloppy and clumsy, missing that certain spot on your neck in favor of slobbering all over your skin.

“Todd, maybe we need to slow down a bit.” You say carefully, trying to pry him off you.

“Again?” He sighs heavily, annoyance clear in his tone.

Your face flushes, shame burning through you, and you bite your lip to keep the tears at bay.

When you first started dating you were so new to everything, you’d had a few boyfriends before, but they were short-lived, almost chaste. Todd on the other hand was a complete and utter manwhore.

“I thought you were over all that.” He grumbles, trudging along the sidewalk, refusing to look at you.

He wanted everything fast, fast, fast, and you were dragged along for the ride, anxious and unprepared.

“I am, I am, it’s just you’re drunk, and your head is going to hurt in the morning…” You tell him, helping him up the stairs and through your apartment door.

He makes a beeline for your living room and flops down on your couch. “So, what, I want you, and you’re my girlfriend, so.”

You try to hide your grimace, but he sees it and groans.

“You’re always like this, I swear, such a prude.” He throws an arm over his eyes and unzips his pants, pulling his cock out.

You blanch, there’s no way he’s just going to jerk off, drunk, in the middle of your living room, right?

“Todd, seriously?” You snap, grabbing a decorative pillow and hurling it at him.

He ignores you, pumping himself, grunts and groans spilling from his lips. You used to find him attractive, you’ve always liked when he was vocal but now? Now it feels traitorous to hear him instead of Miguel.

But you’ve never heard Miguel, your mind was just making things up, that’s what dreams and fantasies are.

“You’re such a dick.”

He sat up, still gripping his erect cock. Was it smaller than you remembered? “Maybe I wouldn’t be if you’d do your job.”

"My job?” You ask, thoroughly confused.

He points at his cock, and you bite the inside of your cheek to keep from laughing, there’s no way he means what you think he means.

“Good girls suck their boyfriend’s dick.” He says it with such certainty, that it sounds ridiculous.

You bust out laughing, doubling over, gasping for breath. “You’re so full of it.”

“I’m not, you’re just a—” then he goes quiet, and you look up to see him passed out cold, cock still in hand.

You stand there for a moment, flabbergasted. There’s no fucking way that just happened.

Throwing a blanket over Todd, you head for the fire escape a different blanket in hand, climbing up to the roof, and sitting on the edge of the roof, feet dangling, your hands behind you supporting you as you lean back.

You let out a sigh, tilting your head up towards the night sky. It feels good out here, cool breeze, the sounds of the city at night, the gentle coo of the pigeons the apartment manager cares for.

A soft thump draws your attention, and you jump scrambling away from the edge, and turning on your heel. Only to come face to chest with Spiderman.

“I wish it was that easy to get everyone off the ledge.” He says, a hint of humor in his voice.

You remember what he looks like, and his face, mask? is everywhere, but it’s different when you’re not terrified or watching some grainy news footage.

“And he’s funny too.” You joke, giving him a small smile.

He tilts his head, scanning you, then reaches out and his gloved thumb brushes across your cheek. “You were crying?”

Were you crying? You touch your face, your fingertips coming away damp. “Oh, I didn’t even notice, it’s just been a long day.”

You spread out your blanket and sit, your back against the wall, and you pat the space before you.

“Won’t your boyfriend be upset if he found out, you’re sharing a blanket with a masked hero?” He teases, sitting in the space you made for him.

“My boyfriend is currently passed out drunk with his dick in his hand.” You tell him, the low light making you braver than you’d normally be.

He goes silent, the eye parts of his mask widening, and you think that’s his version of raised eyebrows.

“He was drunk and pissed at me because I didn’t want him to slobber up my neck, so then he whips it out, and when I tell him to stop, he calls me a prude and says I should do my job , which is such an asshole thing to say.” It feels good to ramble, to just vent all your feelings onto this masked semi-stranger.

“Do your job?” Spiderman asks, his eyes narrowed.

“He said, and I quote, good girls suck their boyfriend’s dick.’ Literally so ridiculous…” You trail off as Spiderman rolls his shoulders back.

For a moment you’re hypnotized by the movement, the sheer mass of muscle.

“…shoes?”

You snap out of it. “I’m sorry?”

“Did you like your new shoes?” He asks, and you hear a smile in his voice.

Wow, y/n, rude much? You didn’t even think to thank the man who not only saved your life, but also replaced your shoes.

“Yes, thank you so much, how much do I owe you?” You go to pull out your wallet but realize you left it in your bedroom.

“No, it’s alright, consider it an apology for not getting there fast enough.” He holds his hands up in a pacifying manner.

You purse your lips but nod. “Alright, well, again, thank you.”

You’re fiddling with the necklace Gabi and Miguel got you, and it seems to catch his eye. “That’s pretty, your boyfriend get you that?”

You shake your head, dropping the pendant. “No, it was a gift from one of my kids, I’m a teacher.”

“That’s cute, do you mind if I?” He motions towards it slightly, and you lean forward, letting him catch it between two long fingers. “Very nice.”

“Yeah, I think it’s really sweet.” You smile up at him, breath catching in your throat when he releases the pendant close to your skin, his fingertip brushing the tops of your breasts.

“I’m sorry, didn’t mean to touch...” He says quickly, retracting his hand.

You give him a reassuring smile. “It’s okay, it was an accident.”

“What’d your boyfriend say?”

“About the gift? I don’t think he even noticed.” You scoff, brushing your hair back from your shoulders.

“No, what did he say after you turned him down?” His voice is lower, warmer, spreading across your skin and seeping into your bones.

“Oh well, he tried to argue then passed out.” You giggle, Spiderman’s masked form still inches from your own.

Spiderman lets out a low hum and tucks a stray lock of hair behind your ear. “He phrased it all wrong, good girls don’t suck dick, they take cock.”

Tag list: @nyctophilic0vitnir, @miggyoharaswife, @badbishsblog, @imisshim2much, @wanderlustingcastaway, @lynn-9703, @sleepyamaya, @erensbbg, @sweetea85, @ilovemiguelohara, @natthernandez, @stxrrielle, @ihateuguys, @jenniferdixon05207, @blep-23, @luvisaaxoxo, @minimari415, @emerald-09, @violet-19999, @kenchosaikuo, @groovycass, @youcantseem3, @lovefks, @nightshxdex, @dusstory, @aesniri, @munsonssecretblog, @kirke-is-my-name, @starbearieee, @chatoicboy, @act1839, @needsleep3000, @totally-not-georgia, @witchy-lizard, @cxmeiloorun7

#miguel o'hara imagine #miguel o'hara fanfiction #miguel o'hara #miguel ohara #meg's writing #miguel's pastels #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o'hara x you #miguel o'hara x y/n #miguel ohara x reader #miguel ohara x you #miguel ohara x y/n #spiderman 2099 x reader #miguel atsv #Todd sucks as always

574 notes · View notes

vaxieth · 8 months

Text

because something really did ask, have a much too long post about my thoughts on laudna’s individual dynamics with the rest of bells hells.

under the cut because it’s almost 3000 words.

laudna/imogen

i struggle to find something to say about imogen and laudna that hasn’t already been said a million times before. the core concept—the thesis—of their arcs, together and separately, is choice. so much of their backstories are defined by helplessness. laudna was chosen and killed because she happened to look like someone else, she was resurrected because she happened to be there. imogen’s mother left, she was burdened with powers she didn’t understand and meant constant pain and isolation. so, they make sure to constantly emphasize that the other person has a choice in everything. imogen tells laudna she only has to come back if she wants to, even though it would have devastated her to lose laudna forever. laudna tells imogen that the gods can’t control her, that no matter what her “destiny” is, if she wants, they can leave and live in a little cottage and raise horses together. the way they love each other unconditionally is all the more incredible given how cruel the world was to them for so long. laudna’s “you make me better” is true for both of them. they give each other a place to be vulnerable and feel all their messiest, worst feelings because they know the other one won’t judge them. they’ll support each other no matter the choices they make.

something i’ve mentioned quite a few times but never gone in depth about is that imogen and laudna do have a fairly significant age difference, and i do think that affects their dynamic. on the one hand, they both have a bit of arrested development—imogen due to her isolation from the rest of gelvaan from 18-26, laudna because she died at 20. on the other, laudna has so much more life experience than imogen. she spent almost 30 years traveling and interacting with the world even if was mostly people trying to kill her, maybe even because of that. the “laudna is imogen’s aunt/mother/older sister” takes were obviously ridiculous, but laudna does canonically look at imogen and see someone young who she wants to protect in a way she never was. she said as much to fcg after the gnarlrock fight. laudna acts as imogen’s rock, her tether if you will, a lot of the time, and part of the reason she can counterbalance imogen’s anxiety is because of the experience that comes with age. for example, during their conversation in episode 49, laudna is able to stay more “rational” and level-headed even when imogen is scared and overwhelmed.

one of my other favorite things about them, specifically from laudna’s point of view, is that with a few exceptions (the gnarlrock fight, her jealousy of frida), she doesn’t seem insecure about their relationship. again, during episode 49, laudna mentions that she knows they haven’t talked in a while, but she didn’t worry because they “transcend words.” she didn’t need outside assurance from imogen because she felt confident in their love for each other. something i love about that episode 39-49 period is that they didn’t interact a lot, but when they did, they slipped right about in the same kind of intimacy they’d always had—imogen holding launda’s hand when they went into her dream together, laudna’s protectiveness of imogen after she interacted with ludinus. but anyway—that confidence is why i believe the transition from friends to lovers was so easy for laudna. laudna’s unsure of herself, of delilah and what she might do, but she’s absolutely not unsure of the love between her and imogen. that’s why as soon as imogen tells her she’s not a bad person, that she wants to be with laudna in that way, she lets herself embrace it entirely.

in conclusion: they invented romance, they’re the best canon pairing critical role has ever had and one of the best dynamics in general, etc., etc.

laudna/orym

oh my god, WHERE to begin? i feel like my take on their dynamic is slightly controversial. at the very least, i get more push back from people when i post about it than anything else, so let me start with this: orym cares deeply about laudna, i will never dispute that. however, orym is uncomfortable with laudna and has been since the very beginning of the campaign. she’s his friend and he recognizes her beautiful heart and resilient spirit, but he’s uncomfortable with her appearance and her messages in his head, with her macabre humor and her deadness. he can’t reconcile that laudna his friend and laudna the dead woman can’t be separated. laudna’s deadness is a part of her, one laudna embraces. orym, for better or worse, is “normal.” he grew up with a loving family and he had a husband and a career. will and derrig’s deaths were an unbelievable tragedy but one that never challenged his place within the status quo. (sidenote: i’ve always wondered if part of orym’s discomfort with laudna come from the fact that her proximity to death is a reminder of the resurrections will and derrig never got.) he sees himself as a follower, someone that doesn’t stand out, then there’s laudna, who does nothing but stand out.

something i find fascinating is that orym is the first person to find out laudna’s backstory, and it affects him so much he can’t sleep that night and takes a point of exhaustion. he even explicitly recognizes the dehumanization she’s gone through and how laudna’s relationship with puppets like pate and sashimi mirror that. yet, he still never apologizes for trying to disguise her appearance, something without even asking. yes, i get it’s tactical and for “safety” (though that argument falls a bit flat for me when there’s also a glowing rock person and a fully conscious automaton in the group, but whatever), but it still hurts laudna. even beyond that, orym always qualifies his friendship with laudna to other person, making some mention of how she’s dead-looking and isn’t that crazy, wow, almost as if he wants some validation that it—laudna—is weird (one he, interestingly, rarely ever gets, given how enraptured most of the other pcs, including guests, and even some npcs, are with her). he does this even in situations he absolutely doesn’t need to like, for example, when maeve says laudna “looks cooler than i thought.” all this just sucks. it’s not that the love isn’t there, it is. it just isn’t unconditional, and laudna deserves better than that.

finally: the delilah in the room. no, it isn’t orym’s “fault” delilah is back. yes, he was also having an extremely bad time during the bor’dor fight and it wasn’t his “responsibility” to save laudna from herself, but laudna is orym’s friend. he listened to laudna tell him the trauma delilah put her through, he fought through hell to save laudna from her, and still nodded because part of him thought maybe delilah could help him and that was selfish. the fight against ludinus is important to of the bells, but for orym, it’s personal. it’s been his mission for six years. meanwhile, laudna is the one with the least enthusiasm about this. she has no connection to the gods. in fact, she actively thinks they dislike her, but he’s willing to sacrifice not just his safety, but the safety of her and all his friends for a cause they never set out to fight for.

in conclusion: i want to put them in a salad mixer together and watch them go around and around and around and around and around, then let them out to scream at each other a little.

laudna/ashton

if i had to explain laudna and ashton’s dynamic in one word, it would be “projection.” i adore their relationship, it’s one of my top 5 c3 dynamics, but oh my god, so much projection, and it’s so interesting because of that. ashton thinks he understands laudna, but in reality, he doesn’t at all. i’m an absolute sucker for characters that look very different on the surface but in reality are much more similar than they know, and ashton and laudna are that to a tee. they are very much narrative parallels especially regarding their feelings of “brokenness” and how their traumas are physical, visual parts of themselves, but the ways they diverge are almost more interesting.

certain people have said that her conversations with ashton are the only time laudna is “honest” or that, at the very least, she’s more honest with him than she is with anyone else, and i couldn’t disagree more. laudna can be a joyful, optimistic person and deeply traumatized with a core anger she hasn’t truly processed. laudna is a high-charisma character, and in my opinion, part of how that manifests is her ability to adapt her demeanor to the person she’s talking to. she speaks gently to imogen the same way she matches chetney’s hyperactive energy when they go sky-sailing. of course when she’s with ashton, who makes no effort to hide his anger and bitterness and doesn’t want her to be soft, she isn’t. none of these laudnas are more “real” than the others, they’re all laudna. what those people, and ironically, ashton themself, don’t get, or won’t let himself get, is that all those things can be true at once.

with ashton specifically, i don’t think they want to believe that because then they’d have to admit that growth and healing is a real possibility because anger is so much easier to deal with. people talk most about orym’s choices during the bor’dor fight most, but i’m fascinated by ashton’s as well. i wouldn’t be surprised if there was a part, no matter how small, that wanted laudna to break, to prove to himself that he was right and laudna was just as broken and fucked-up as them. so, laudna killing bor’dor was almost vindication, evidenced by their “what have i done?” “nothing i haven’t done.” exchange afterwards.

i don’t want this to sound like ashton doesn’t care about launda, they do. ashton cares about her so much, and besides imogen and fearne, is the most unabashedly into laudna’s aesthetic. i love how much they love all the weird shit she does. i love how protective ashton is of laudna, especially during battles and their willingness to go above and beyond for her—he carried laudna when she was dead despite his chronic pain without complaining once and were willing to make a deal with hexum after going through an entire museum heist to repay their debt. i love the moments when ashton sees how much laudna is struggling and tells her, as gently as he can, to take a moment and do what she can to ground herself. i love that when laudna way too dramatically assumes they kidnapped imogen, their response is “that’s very fair.” it’s all wonderful, and i love them.

in conclusion: I LOVE THEM SO MUCH AND I WANT TO LOCK THEM IN A ROOM AND FORCE THEM TO TALK ABOUT THEIR FEELINGS FOR HOURS.

laudna/fcg

laudna and fcg have been getting more attention in the past few days for obvious reasons and that has me rubbing my hands together maniacally because even though they have very little actual interaction, the subtext is delicious.

besides ashton, fcg might be the character laudna parallels the most, especially their struggle with their humanity (if they’re even human at all), which isn’t helped by the constant dehumanization they face from outsiders, including the almost continuous comments they get when they meet someone new. people look at launda and see a horror while they look at fcg and see a novelty (he’s a robot with personality??), and those both suck. i think, for fcg, laudna is an uncomfortable reflection of himself because everything they’re afraid is true about themself is true about laudna. finding out they had a soul was such an important moment for his character (also remember his early campaign habit of calling other people “soul-touched folks”). as a hollow one, who knows if laudna even has a soul. if i’m honest, fcg seems to think less of laudna than the rest of the party (see: him calling her a “former person,” his speech before casting turn undead including, “no offense to laudna but can you please shine your light and wipe these evil, dead souls off the face of this flat planet?”) and that’s probably why. they have such strict ideas about “good,” which has become “godly,” and “wrong,” (“ungodly”), and within that framework, everything seemed to point to laudna as “ungodly,” which is why their empathy towards her is lacking.

the biggest conflict between fcg and laudna right now is obviously their feelings on the gods. the changebringer brought fcg purpose and tangibly helps them on a daily basis. of course they want to share this incredible thing with everyone they meet, especially his friends. yet, time-and-time again, the world has shown laudna the gods don’t seem to care about her. before someone says anything, pike resurrecting laudna doesn’t automatically mean she has to trust the gods. clerics and paladins spent 30 years running her out of towns for existing and trying to kill her in the name of their gods. if the circumstances were different, there’s a good chance fcg could have been one of those people. for fcg, the world is black-and-white. for laudna, it’s all gray. laudna was able to have a conversation with imogen about the ruby vanguard’s message and the purpose of the gods because she understands the need to question things and thinks that’s a good thing even if she doesn’t agree with the conclusions. fcg’s not there yet, and until he is, their friendship with laudna will never be able to progress past where it is now.

in conclusion: please have a conversation, maybe even two or three. it’d be so good for fcg to learn the world’s incredible nuances and for laudna to see how faith in the gods can be an empowering force for good, not just something beyond her grasp.

laudna/fearne

out of all launda’s dynamics, this is the one i desperately want more of. we’ve gotten so little! almost all their moments are interactions between the three witches that tend to center imogen (making the red-string friendship bracelets and comforting imogen after she talked with relvin come to mind) OR center imogen and fearne’s mutual appreciation for laudna’s… everything. one of my favorite about fearne is that, like imogen, she doesn’t think laudna is gross and creepy, she thinks laudna is gorgeous and charming without any caveats. even ashton, who also loves laudna’s laudnaness, tends more towards “yeah, you’re disgusting and THAT’S why it’s great.”

the other main part of their dynamic i want to sink my teeth into is the coin-toss, more specifically fearne’s guilt over the coin toss. regardless of whether you think fearne lied (i personally find that headcanon FASCINATING but to each their own), she clearly feels so many emotions about having to pick whether to save laudna and orym that she hasn’t even begun to unpack. one of the few sole moments we’ve gotten of them was in episode 42 when laudna asked fearne to help teach her to cast fireball, and in it, fearne, unprompted, blurts out, “how’s it feel being alive again?” almost immediately. she also apologizes to laudna, says they’ll fight any piece of delilah that’s still in there, and tells her, “i missed you terribly for that moment in time.” even when laudna gives her the chance to make the conversation light-hearted, fearne stays so genuine, which is all the more-noteworthy because she’s usually so flippant and almost always keeps her real feelings close to her chest.

some other examples of fearne’s guilt include: the 4sd where ashley said part of why she was so protective over imogen during their separation arc was that she couldn’t bear having to tell laudna anything happened to her and just this past episode when fearne’s protectiveness after laudna made her only cast first-level cure wounds on fcg after they cast turn undead.

in conclusion: PLEASE LET THEM INTERACT MORE. THERE’S SO MUCH JUICY POTENTIAL AND I WANT TO SEE IT EXPLORED.

laudna/chetney

i don’t have that much to say about them except that their dynamic is absolutely delightful. i love that we’ve gotten to see more of it in recent episodes, and i hope that continues.

chetney exists at an interesting place between orym’s genuine discomfort and fearne and imogen’s complete enchantment with laudna’s undeadness. he is sometimes grossed out, but he also seems to accept it as a thing about laudna without too much judgment, or at least, that “judgment” is light-hearted in a way orym’s or even fcg’s isn’t.

i love that they’re the characters with the most life experience (even if laudna is technically the fourth oldest, fcg only has two years of memory and fearne is a 100+ but spent 99% of that time in one place) but also embrace being “childish” and silly together, like the entire sky-sail sequence!

in conclusion: *gently holds* i just think they’re neat!

that’s all! if you read this whole thing, you get my eternal love and gratitude. thank you.

#laudna #imodna #laudmoore #orym #fresh cut grass #fearne calloway #chetney pock o'pea #bells hells #critical role #my posts #textpost #i’m weirdly more nervous about posting this on here than on twitter #but i spent like three hours writing and am pretty proud of the result #in case it isn’t clear i want to reiterate that i love ALL these characters #including orym and fcg #but they aren’t perfect #that’s what makes their dynamics so interesting!

285 notes · View notes

softxsuki · 5 months

Note

Urgent request! Before I start I just want to say that if you are overwhelmed with asks or are uncomfortable with this request please feel free to ignore it. Anyway, can I request baji, and mitsuya with a very sunshine/ happy go lucky gf who’s always smiling but one day they see her self harm scars (that she’s never said anything about)? I’ve always been the therapist friend and the one to help people when no one else would, but no one ever helped me.

I always wear long sleeves cause mine go all up my arm and I hate them. I’ve been clean for a few years now but I never wear short sleeves due to people making uncomfortable comments and just out right being rude to me for having them. I’ve had family members yell at me for hurting myself/ having scars, never really asking if I’m ok. I just want to comforted by my favorite boys and actually be able to vent to someone without being judged and not have to keep up being happy all of the time.

Side note: keep up the great work, I’ve read through your stuff and it has really brought me comfort :’) also take as much time as you need, i don’t want to rush you

Baji and Mitsuya (Separate) Comforting Sunshine S/O After Seeing Her Scars

mentions of self-harm and scars, please don't read if those things will be harmful to you, rather than comforting pls

Pairings: Baji x Fem!Reader, Mitsuya x Fem!Reader

Warnings: mentions of scars, alluding to self-harm

Genre: Comfort

Word Count: 520

Post-Type: Headcanons

Summary: In which you're usually happy-go-lucky so they're shocked when your sleeve raises and they see scars there

[A/N: Hey hun <3 thank you so much for being so sweet and patient, I really appreciate it! I was more than happy to write this for you. I just hope this is able to bring you some comfort! Thank you always for the support <3]

Baji:

Baji is shocked, he’s used to seeing your strong side, the side of you that’s always put together and happy

You always had a smile on your face and never failed to spread that sunshine to the people around you as well, including himself–it’s one of the reasons why he fell for you so quickly

So when he sees those scars for the first time and you let him in on what you’ve been feeling behind your smile, he becomes very protective over you

Not only did he think he needed to protect you from others, but now also from yourself

Of course, this man was always protective of you, but even more so when he sees your scars

He feels bad for the times he ranted to you when you were probably going through your own struggles and he didn’t even realize it

Awkwardly says that he’s there for you if you want to talk about anything (he’s bad with feelings, but at least he’s trying)

Give him some time to loosen up and get used to all this

Yes, he’s very awkward at first and kinda doesn’t know how to go about acting now, but give him some guidance and he’ll figure it out

He loves you and just wants you to be okay, so expect a very clingy Baji for the next few weeks until you open up more to him and show your true feelings in front of him instead of hiding them behind a smile like you always did

Mitsuya:

Mitsuya is also shocked at the sight of your scars, but he’d never let that shock appear on his face

He has always been your biggest support system, so he’s definitely going to be even more now than ever

Presses kisses to your scars, no matter how old or fresh they are, with the utmost of care, showing you how much he loves you and how these scars change nothing between you

Goes out of his way to design you shirts with long sleeves or jackets when the weather gets colder that he knows you’ll love, if you decide to continue to cover the scars

But makes sure you know that there’s nothing to hide, he accepts all of you, even your arms with scars, and nobody would be stupid enough to comment about them with him around

To him, those scars are proof of your strength, you got through some of the hardest moments of your life and you’re still around pushing through it all, he admires that so much, but he’d never let you go through those battles alone anymore to the point where cutting felt like your only route to relief

Mitusya makes extra time for you in his day, checking in on you and spending time with you to make sure you’re doing okay

Encourages you to speak your true feelings with him, there’s absolutely no judgment with him at all; you don’t need to plaster a fake smile on your face to please him

He wants to face your problems with you and help you overcome them together

REQUESTS ARE OPEN

Posted: 12/11/2023

107 notes · View notes

littledigits · 10 months

Text

That time when working in animation made me realize I needed therapy

Since we're on the topic of overworking / being passionate in animation and blah blah blah. I want to share my story about working on the first season of Hilda (for context I was the animation director), specifically..how completely garbo my mental health got because

I INSISTED ON WORKING MYSELF INTO THE GROUND.

This is a story I've shared when I've had a chance to do lectures or talks, and if there is one really awesome thing that comes with ..weird ..animation clout, its that you can use those powers for good in terms of teaching people about the BS that comes with the job...anyway.

The reason why I like to talk about this is because I insisted on doing it to myself, and that was really got me thinking about the factors that do lead us into over working. Because heres the deal

Hilda season 1 was, without getting into too many details, a heckofatime...especally for the core crew. we were a small group, doing something new because most of us haven't worked on a show before that included pre production. My entire career up to that point had been working on service work for shows that were created in Burbank, so the new pipeline had a ton of challenges. We did all care, and we all believed in the project SOOOO much. I would tell people not to work over time, because I want my team to leave on time - but I was there...a lot. Leaving the studio by 11pm , working through the weekends..it wasnt an uncommon thing for me. sure , it wasnt all the time, but this stuff spans years sometimes so it went in waves. But whenever the challenges came up, i doubled down. because I super believed in it.

And the thing was - other people told me to stop. I had a lot of valid concerns given to me by my friends and team members who saw how I was burning myself out at both ends. And I thought like, well , its my *choice*. Its my chance to have a voice and be creative and try to do something different and we all have to push ourselves and yes its HARD but. THATS HOW YOU DO IT RIGHT? surely if I just make sure I’m the one overworking and my team isn't.. that's fine.

Well, no, I was immensely effecting my team maybe I wasn’t telling them to work late, but they were seeing me get more and more tired and stay later and later. I thought they would still approach me for help, or if they struggled. But the issues they had they kept to themselves without wanting to put more on my shoulders. Because they *cared* , just as much as I did ..and we all took more on our shoulders then we should have and there were a lot of things that I could have solved had I fostered a better communication environment. I became really resentful in my head over the smallest things, I actually saw myself becoming a more hateful person and easily annoyed. I came home every day rambling about the frustrations. Now, let me preface this by saying - my mental state did not only have to do with overworking. I had and have things still to unpack, but the control I had over work and the validation I got from it was a coping mechanism for me. I really didnt think i had any worth as a person outside of this job. It basically was a very nasty cycle that didnt stop until ...well I had gotten so bad I had to. By the end of the first season I was actually incredibly close to quitting . I was in big anxiety attack territory because I was so worn thin- I had started therapy but eventually moved onto getting medication as well and that was what allowed me to stick it out. ( I have the same therapist and I am on the same meds, it was very hard to do at the time, but i cant imagine my life now without making that choice ). After it was done I was immensely supported by the studio and worked part time as a trainer, which is what i requested to give my brain a break. (Only a few of my closer friends knew how bad I was getting but it was pretty obvious I needed to rest) I'm really proud of the work we did and we keep doing on the show, ..and some other people may have gone through something similar and found it was worth it, but thats not me. I still struggle not to fall back into that mindset, but it helps knowing that if i keep myself out of it , i can help my team out of it, because I know they care about this show just as much as I do. I’m not a martyr, I am a leader, and its up to me to keep myself healthy so I can keep my crew healthy. I always strive to be better, but i get to decide what that looks like - and for me ..better has nothing to do with the image on the screen. Its got more to do with the experience of the people around me. Readjusting those priorities has helped a lot with keeping my head above water and not add to the pressure that makes it so hard not to get sucked down in the first place. I do think its good to talk about though , how our passion and language and drive can lead to a lot of us being a part of this cycle. And if theres one good thing about the challenges, its sharing them so at least others can learn faster then you did ;) . take care of yourself friends.

#animation #animation industry #director talk #i still think of how many people told me to stop and how i didnt #i tell people to stop and they dont but i do understand why #thats why this shit is ingrained and its more then just words #here you go a big long animation ramble :D

163 notes · View notes

allaboutthemoonlight · 9 days

Text

How to Develop the Habits You Want and Stick to Them ✨

I recently listened to a podcast discussing developing the habits you want and ensure they stick. As someone who’s been recently struggling with consistent habit adherence, I wanted to share some of the insights I gathered and talk about what’s been helping me lately.

The Importance of a Goal vs a System:

In a world where goals are often the big picture, it's crucial to recognize the transformative potential of systems. Scott Adams once said, "If you do something every day, it’s a system. If you're waiting to achieve it someday in the future, it's a goal."

Goals are outcomes, systems are the daily habits that lead to that.

Systems enable longevity and continuity, while goals are only momentary. Changing your behavior and integrating systems into your leds to continual progress and applicable results.

When you have a goal or habit in mind, develop a system around it so you can continuously work towards it.

For example, if your goal was to lose 20 pounds in 3 months, the system would be implementing a daily exercise routine and adopting healthier eating habits.

The system, unlike the goal, can be maintained and adjusted over time, leading to long-term progress and success.

Constantly Ask Yourself These Questions:

What kind of days do I want to live?

This prompts you to reflect on your ideal lifestyle and the type of experiences you want to have on a daily basis. It helps you set intentions for how you want to spend your time and what activities or pursuits bring you fulfillment.

2. How do I want to show up in the world?

This encourages self-awareness and introspection about your values, character, and the impression you want to leave on others. It allows you to consider how you want to behave, interact with others, and contribute to the world around you.

3. Am I living by my values and beliefs?

This gives you the opportunity to evaluate whether your actions align with your core values and beliefs. If they don’t, something needs to change. Really take the time to think about the choices you make and whether they are in accordance with what truly matters to you.

I like to do a weekly review every Sunday where I look back on my week and see what I’ve accomplished, where I could improve, celebrate my wins, etc. Every quarter or so, I’ll ask myself these three questions and reflect on my life.

Mirror Your Environment To Enable The Habits You Want To Develop

Your environment aids in the habits that you currently have or want to acquire. You need to change your environment to either break a bad habit or acquire a n

Make the habits you want to stick obvious enough so that there’s no friction in the transition process.

For example, if you want to start reading more books, you would start by placing a bookshelf in a prominent area of your home or room. This makes the habit of reading more obvious since the books are easily accessible, allowing you to pick one up whenever you have free time.

Surround Yourself With People That Also Take Part In The Habits You Desire

Being around like-minded individuals provides a support system and accountability network.

When you see others consistently practicing the habits you want to have, it can inspire and motivate you to stay committed.

Being part of a community that values the same habits creates an encouraging environment and helps you to solidify these aspiring habits as integral parts of your routine.

——————————————————————————————————

Developing the habits you desire is not just about setting goals but also about creating systems, aligning with your values, and leveraging your environment and social circle. Continue to focus on the systems in your life over goals, asking reflective questions, and surrounding yourself with supportive individuals.

—Luna <3

——————————————————————————————————

#self improvement #self love #growth #productivity #habits #self care #self development #good habits #that girl #itgirl #leveling up #level up #motivation #positive mindset #empowerment

42 notes · View notes

cheerfullycatholic · 14 days

Note

Hi — sorry to dump this on you, but I don’t really have anyone to talk to about this. I’ve been away from the church for a few months now, and have struggled to come back because in all honesty, I’ve never felt like I fit. I feel like there’s this certain mould young Catholics have to fit (extremely devout, extremely conservative, very openly Catholic). My faith has always been a very private part of my life; I don’t feel a need to flaunt it to others. But I feel like that lack of zeal makes me an outcast among other young Catholics. I’ve tried youth groups and things, but never really fit it. I’ve seen some downright horrible opinions from other Catholics online, and it makes me wonder if I’m really Catholic at all if I don’t share those opinions.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that I love the Church and its beliefs, but have had a lot of negative experiences with people in the Church, and don’t really feel like I belong.

Thank you for listening. I’ve always enjoyed your blog, and would appreciate prayers.

I've felt that way, too. I thought for so long that there was only one way to be Catholic, but I realized within the last year or so that there's more options than people talk about. You don't have to be extremely conservative to be Catholic, you don't have to be very outwardly expressive. Living a quiet life, focusing more on prayer than evangelism, isn't contrary to the Church. Religious brothers and sisters have been doing it for years, and you don't even have to be a religious brother or sister to do it. Your life can be as private as you want, though I do think it's important to make sure that your desire for privacy doesn't stem from something like shame or fear of judgement. Those things are scary, but we shouldn't fear being Catholic.

I wish that people in the Church were more open to accepting everyone and every way that a person can live their life while still being a devout, practicing Catholic, but unfortunately right now some of these people treat it like a club that you can only fully enter if you do say and believe certain things, when those things aren't necessary to be Catholic or don't even align with Catholic teaching (I see the problem the most with politics, like being judged for not supporting certain candidates or not hating someone who's done bad things). It's silly and it's wrong. But it's important to remember that we're not Catholic for the people in the Church, we're Catholic for Jesus. Just because people may misrepresent him and make you feel unwelcome, doesn't mean you don't have a place here

And yes, of course I'll pray 🖤

#prayer request

23 notes · View notes

charmingpplincardigans · 2 months

Text

How’s everyone doing? I’ll go first, I’m bad!

I have been ~*~struggling~*~ since mid-September and in the last two weeks it has just gotten unbearable. I feel like I’m drowning all the time. I’m having trouble keeping up with and reaching out to people I want to talk to. And that’s like, on top of always having been bad at getting back to people. *stares forlornly at the ask Chaz sent me like, literally two years ago that I think about daily but just. haven’t. RESPONDED TO.*

Things are just. Closing in on all sides unfortunately. I’ve been sick several times. I bounced this month’s rent check. A thing I had NEVER DONE BEFORE IN MY LIFE before this last move. My job is literally never going to pay me what I’m worth. Or anyone what they’re worth, frankly. I broke down in front of my boss the other day and just sobbed for an hour because after I pay my bills every paycheck I have just enough left over to buy groceries for two weeks, if I’m careful, and little else. Which means I’m putting stuff like gas on credit cards, which isn’t helping the debt that makes me feel like drowning in the first place. I’ve been at this job SEVENTEEN YEARS. A steady, corporate job. And I’ve never once in my entire time there made an actual cost of living raise!! The cost of living just keeps raising without me! (And also everyone else, I know!)

I’m super overdue on getting people the art they commissioned from me, but my brain just hasn’t been in a good enough place to create much of anything, and I keep thinking I have to get this done and then thinking they deserve better than this, around and around on a loop ad finitum. And there are a couple of other things going on personally that just fucking blow that I don’t know how to fix and I’m just gonna choke on it.

I haven’t done any fandom stuff since NYCC. I haven’t written on my WIP. I haven’t read fic. I don’t check in on the madness happening on twitter. I’ve barely popped my head into my favorite pirate group chat over the last five months or so. I miss doing all of that so much and my stupid brain is so broken that even when I try I can’t enjoy it.

Shit. I’m having a hard time getting work work done. I just sit down at my desk every day, answer emails, and then spend five or so hours frozen with anxiety because there’s too much to do and doing nothing is only making it worse every day.

I need to be back in therapy ASAP, but unfortunately you can’t eat therapy so I can’t pay for it!!

And I feel guilty saying any of this to almost everyone I would usually talk to. (Congrats and condolences to the rest of you!) Because they’re having a harder time than me. Or because they’d just want to give me a bit of money about it, which would fuck me up even more. Or because it’s just tedious and boring and no one wants to listen to me talk about this over and over again, even though it’s all my brain does every hour of every day. It’s a wonder I’m ever able to talk about anything else.

My boss is pretty great, in spite of it all. She’s constantly supportive (to the extent she can be), and she just. She tells me all the time how creative and wonderful and smart and cool to know I am. And every time I just like, tear up, because none of it feels true. But I also tear up when my friends and my partner say those things too. Because to me, a full grown adult without a savings or a 401K or the ability to like, go get drinks just because I want to, I feel like a complete and utter failure. So like. Whatever I guess!!

I need to find a new job that pays me way more. Then I can get a therapist to fix my brain and save money to pay down my debts and have money to have fun with my friends and not feel like a constant financial burden on everyone. Then I can have the brain power back to maybe work on my fic or complete that art or like, I don’t know, talk to the people who actively want to talk to me. You wouldn't think that part would be so hard, but it really, really is.

I’m working on it. I’ll keep working on it. I have LinkedIn open right now. I’m gonna fucking sob through it, but that doesn’t mean none of it will get done.

In the meantime, if anyone knows of a good way to make a quick $30 grand, I’m all ears.

#no one cares kl #it's an old-fashioned two am post #at four in the afternoon!#that's how bad things are!#all my shame units are being used so i don't have any to spare #on whether or not i should be messy in public!!!

36 notes · View notes

pigeonpeach · 11 days

Text

Something Happens and I’m Head over Heels

Dehya x fmab! professor reader

A/n: so I’ve done this dehya x fmab professor reader stuff in alot of compilations so i decided to do a actual piece dedicated to this idea! Its not my best work because i kinda rushed it but i promise I’ll do better!

Also suggestive themes!

You were smart and independent. A beauty in looks and brain, and also incredibly diligent. Your students admired you as you always seemed so refined, the ideal, the dream. You gave extensions for the exhausted and extra credit opportunities. That is to say you were a beloved professor of the Akademiya. Loved for your contributions and efforts, but behind it all you were human. As depraved as any could come. That mostly came in the form of Dehya, a Eremite you had hired once for a expedition you took with students, ending with a one night stand you couldn’t seem to shake off. Now friends with benefits. You had no qualms about Eremites, just pay them and everything is fine. Besides, crime is bred by poverty so rather than viewing those from the desert as less like a unfortunate amount of scholars did, you saw them as mistreated. You were always looking for charities to support and help educate and offer more opportunities. That’s why Dehya liked you.

“You have a brain but also a heart.” She said. “Both around the same size, you don’t sacrifice morality for knowledge but also you don’t sacrifice knowledge for morality in the right circumstances.”

She truly knew how to butter you up. You didn’t think so. No one is truly confident after all. Everyone is a little insecure… right? Everything was.. too perfect. It made you worry. When would it fall? Would they find out about Dehya and you rendezvous?

But also… just what were your feelings towards her. You thought she was the hottest damn woman in all of Sumeru, but was it love? You liked her, you liked talking to her, she was challenging in the right way. She sometimes was frustrating and stubborn but you had come to understand her more. Her stubbornness had initially infuriated you on expeditions but you had come to trust her. When she said not to go out today on the desert you obliged knowing she had a better sense for the coming storms than you.

The events of today were running through your head. You dissected every detail like it was a paper to grade.

“Hmm.. Collei is a diligent student so its certainly not her lack of effort. It is hard to learn literacy at her age. She’s not too interested in kids books is she.” You pondered. Tighnari sat across from you. You were at Pupsa Cafe discussing Collei’s curriculum.

“Unfortunately not. She seems embarrassed by needing them despite my efforts to assure her. She struggled with big words the most.” He commented. You pondered. Your students were young yes, mostly freshman but those were teenagers at the youngest. Teenagers who had read hard and advanced books before.

“Maybe we could write her a book. Nothing too fancy, just a visual dictionary to help her remember big words. I’m sure Kaveh would love to do the drawings.” You offered.

“That’s not a bad idea actually. I’ll collect a list of the words she struggles with the most and we’ll work from there.” His tail wagged slightly, you knew he’d been stressed over this topic for awhile.

“Do my eyes deceive me? Its my favorite little professor! And Tighnari? Its just my lucky day isn’t it!” A familiar voice caught your ears. Dehya. Tanned and fresh from a job, sweaty and all. The proud smile that a big wage would bring her.

“Oh Dehya its good to see you.” Tighnari responded politely. She sat next to you as if it was natural.

“You too. I actually was looking for you. There was this book on ancient flower species my client found but he wasn’t interested in. Figured you or Collei could use it.” She smiled. “And for you my dear professor I have a gift for you.”

“A gift? You didn’t have to Dehya really I- what is that.” Your excitement dropped upon seeing a long, huge feather. No doubt from the remains of a consecrated beast. You shivered just imagining that thing.

“Ran into one of these big fellows and dealt with him. Figured it’d look good in your classroom.” She smiled proudly.

“Its uh… nice but I usually don’t decorate my space. The teachers often share classrooms that’s why.” You answered.

“Welp itll look good in your office then.” She corrected.

“Rather impressive kill if I say so. Say what region was this specimen in, if I recall you were still in the jungle yes? It would concern me if consecrated beasts started showing up here.” Tighnari inquired.

“Hmm the barrier between the deserts and the jungle actually. It probably came from the desert. But it was nowhere near your region so don’t worry too much. I’ll keep an eye out though.” Dehya concluded.

“I’ll make sure to. By the way is there any recommendations you might have for collei? She’s still struggling to learn to read.” He asked.

“Oh collei! Oh i miss that little squirt! Hmm.. I say you reward her more for good grades. Like maybe take her to dinner if she finishes her books in time and such. Although that might fuel her fear of failure more.” She pondered. You couldn’t help but eye her sweaty body though, she absolutely smelled horrendous but your depraved mind could only think of how she smelt that way after a passionate night where you would be left gasping for air usually pinned or tied up in someway as she’d grin at you. Saying some cocky phrase like ‘now you’re quiet? You were so chatty before~’ to make you tense up and blush. God that thought made you tense as you shook your head to clear it.

“Are you okay?” Tighnari asked.

“Hm? Oh yes, just was thinking of those papers to grade. I’ve had alot to grade recently so I cherish the breaks i get, as well as the existence of coffee.” You held your cup to the skies like a prayer jokingly and took a sip.

“So you’re pretty worked up huh? I always know a few relaxation methods you and I could try.” She winked while Tighnari’s ears folded in annoyance. You tried not to show your embarrassment.

“I’m fine, I’m not done yet with them, but back to our main topic of Collei.”

From then the conversation was as usual. Eventually the idea of Collei getting a library card was formed and Tighnari left. You excused yourself to go back to the office to work. Although your papers weren’t helpful. You sighed. You were glad you had a week off, that way you would have plenty of time to finish grading. You looked back at that feather, you had placed it on your bookshelf that held many personal items, you smiled subconsciously before going back to work.

A knock at your door interrupted your peace. “Come in.” You said, expecting a student or colleague only to see none other than Dehya. “Oh dehya! What brings you here?”

“Well, Candace wanted me to deliver a thank you present from Aaru village. I heard you are helping fund the library Kaveh was helping to build. Course I know you helped out more than just that but Candace wanted me to ensure you got this.” She placed before you a mural similar to one you would have seen in temples or ruins. Of course it was a recreation, in which it depicted the schools of Deshret, with the teacher being similar to yourself. You smiled.

“Its a lovely gift I must say. Do tell her I don’t need anymore though. I simply just like to help others, I don’t need payment anymore than seeing their smiles.” You said. Dehya smiled at you with a warm and fond smile, one you had seen when a old man would look upon his wife as she came from the market. It made you a bit flustered yourself.

“You already know you’re my favorite scholar, but I really do hope the students you’ve taught end up like you. The world needs more people like you.” She said, you felt even more flustered at such a compliment. “I-in other words I wanted to also personally thank you for always being so supportive to the desert people!” She cleared her throat.

“I really do appreciate that sentiment though miss Dehya, I really do.” You said.

“Thank you so much miss! I promise I’ll do better on the retake!” Layla seemed so relieved.

“Its nothing. Just go over the study guide to see where you went wrong and see me in my office in a couple of days.” You smiled sending her off. You watched her leave as you felt exhaustion take hold. You had spent a entire week of endless grading and teaching, with only the little treats you would buy yourself to aid in your work. You had to do something otherwise you knew you would spiral into despair. Immediately what came to mind was the tavern, and Dehya.

“Must’ve been a tough week huh.” Lambad said in response to your order. You sighed in agreement.

“Its testing week so believe me I’m swamped right now.” You took your cup and downed it. Usually Dehya just materializes from somewhere when you’re like this. Somehow that woman can just smell the pathetic lust on you from a mile away. “I just need a little night of fun that’s all.. then i can get right back to work.” You grumbled. He chuckled pouring you another glass before heading off to deal with something else. You even instinctively ordered food, specifically Dehya’s favorite, Charcoal cakes and Skewers. You liked them too but your first thought was that she couldn’t resist a free meal. You sighed, when had you been this impatient? Where could she be? Well she hadn’t gone on a mission, she informs you of those things usually because you like to book her for stuff, she also is almost always at this tavern at this time.

“Boo!” A voice came from behind as you jumped in your seat, relaxing only when you recognized the familiar face. “Gotcha good huh?” She said sitting right next to you. You felt a bit more relaxed.

“I was wondering where you were at this hour.” You admitted. There was no point in hiding it.

“Figured, you didn’t order your usual but instead mine so I figured you were trying to summon me huh?” Her playful nature was just what you needed at this hour. You took a swig.

“Yep. I needed a distraction so I came here.” You said.

“I’m guessing that distraction is me isn’t it?” She joked. Maybe it was the wine kicking in but you just nodded rather than your usual defensive responses. Even Dehya seemed a but surprised at how relaxed you were being.

“You know it. What more could a pathetic lass like myself need to numb the pain.” You groaned. Dehya’s normal cock demeanor changed as she seemed worried.

“I-is everything okay?” She asked more seriously.

It wasn’t. You were loved by all but ultimately regarded as a background. To your students you stopped existing once they left the classroom, your colleagues would go on without you like always, but what stung the most and was the most bitterly painful was the loneliness that home presented. You had considered getting a pet but you worried about managing it. Even your crush Dehya was a conflict, you couldn’t expect her to wait at home for you, you knew she was a mercenary at heart, that she always loved adventures and the outdoors, you could never bring yourself to make her stay if she didn’t want to.

“Just feeling more lonely than usual. Works been keepin all my colleagues busy and my mood is in the dumps. I just need something you know?” You minimized your pain but you were still technically honest. Dehya seemed more concerned than excited like she usually was. Lambad didn’t seem to notice the shift in mood as he brought the food, but Dehya shot him a look to leave you be.

“There, enjoy your meal girls!” He said leaving to do something else. You sighed, taking another swig as Deyha observed you.

“Come on you don’t have to lose anything by telling me, archons knows I won’t tattle on you to any sages.” She said. You shook your head.

“Its not that important.” You dismiss again, but Dehya is unsatisfied.

“If you say so.” She says, but beneath her false acceptance is a plan to do something.

“Its cold outside, why are you taking me out in the wilderness at a time like this?” You whined a bit drunkenly. Dehya’s hand guiding you through the night. It was only a bit out of the main road to the city. The night was absolutely beautiful, your eyes were caught in the beauty for a moment as Dehya guided you to sit on a log while you were awestruck. The stars were reflected in the river below the cliff like a mirror, there was fireflies floating around, as if they were stars in the air that had fallen from the sky. You forgot everything for a moment.

“Beautiful right?” Dehya asked. You nodded. “You have something on your mind though. I can see, Tighnari, Kaveh, even Collei could see there was something you were bottling up. Sorry to go behind your back but we all were getting mighty worried you would end up like one of those teachers who died of stress.” She said. You were taken abakc, reminded of your circumstances.

“Its not actually because of work alone..” you paused, there was no reason to lie now,” I’m lonely Dehya. I’m a scholar, a teacher, an idol, and a inspiration who is ultimately never seen as anything other than that. I love the admiration but just once I wish someone looked upon me with more than admiration for my work but for my personality, desire, love.. I’m a helpless romantic with the worst love life imaginable.” You sighed.

“That’s.. really? Your colleagues don’t flirt with you or anything?” Dehya said.

“Nope. I know its a technically a good thing but… is it so wrong to want to be desirable? To be someone outside of my reports, my work, my job. I want to be somebody who is seen as a lover rather than just s scholar. I appreciate the respect yes, I love my job yes, I love helping people yes, but ultimately there’s no one to come home to. I am lonely, I am human. And humans are some of the most social creatures ever, they go insane without it. I tried to spend more time with friends but my work has gotten too much and… I just can’t take it anymore…” you tried not to cry. Years if insecurities veiled behind a genius mind were coming to light. “I want to be a person beyond my intelligence. I want to be loved, to be held, kissed, fucked, whatever! I just want someone to value me for something beyond than what i can do for them.” Dehya didn’t say a word, just sat by you tryng to judge your feelings.

“I-i didn’t know you had felt that way.. to be honest I’d assumed you could have just about anyone if you tried.” Dehya said. You sniffled, her ears perked as she realized you were crying. The stars illuminated your tears like the shine of a knife.

“I.. i love you dehya.. i know its not going to work. I know your heart wanders the lands and I know neither of our futures align well.. but goddamnit can you blame me? I haven’t had someone look at me the way you do in years! I haven’t hooked up with anyone but you, you push my buttons and boundaries and suddenly it does not feel wrong when you do it. When your hand touches me in areas I’d cover I don’t feel uncomfortable but rather I feel excitement. You provoke feelings in me I cannot handle and ultimately will never be able to satisfy.” You let out. “I understand if you’re uncomfortable with that.. but its how I’ve felt… i never wanted to let you know.. i didn’t want you to be uncomfortable. Selfishly, I just wanted to cling to the only source of love I could get.. even if it was just for benefits.. because I love you…”

The air grew still. You felt embarrassment and shame as all those frustrations were gone, leaving you to wonder if you really should’ve just kept shut.

“You know.. its not impossible for us to be together right? I mean, I’m not saying either of us give up our jobs.. I’m just saying that plenty of Eremites have a family at home waiting. Not always in the Aaru village you know?” Dehya said awkwardly. But it wasn’t certain enough to alleviate your anxiety, it just made you feel guiltless for assuming that.

“Could you be more specific about what you mean?” You asked. Dehya sighed.

“I do love you too.” She said. You felt your heart stop, all thoughts and emotions completely ceased. “Hello?” She said with a concerned look. You felt yourself go limp and fall onto your lap as if your spine had been removed that instant.

“I feel like a idiot.” You mumbled as you felt boneless. The exhaustion of the stress and anxiety taking over.

“What was it you said? There’s a idiot in every genius? Something like that?”

“I said that every Scholar has their weaknesses in education and knowledge, but that’s close enough.” You sighed. Dehay hovered over you still concerned.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes I’m just exhausted is all.” You sighed slowly. You truly are your worst enemy. A moment of silence passed as you regained your thoughts, Dehya trying to judge what next to say.

“Do.. do people really not flirt with you? Like.. you aren’t just oblivious right?” Dehya asked.

“I’m a teacher, that’s like the most unattractive profession. Scholars at least explore more possibilities, I rarely get the chance to do experiments on something that hasn’t been done for the past 10 semesters.” You whined. “But that’s not the point.. you like me too?”

“I think the word ‘like’ here is a little underestimating don’t you think? I mean we are grown women here, I’ve seen you naked and we have had sex. I think Love would be a appropriate term would it not professor?” That cheeky grin on her face would infuriate you normally but you were more stunned at her blatant reciprocation.

“But like.. is it just the sex? My body?” You pryed for details as she just smiled.

“Ma’am. Have you not paid attention to any of my compliments? You’re one of the smartest people I’ve ever met but you’re still so compassionate. As someone from the desert and a eremite I always get judgemental looks or viewed at like some primal savage just because I don’t know as much as they do!”

“That’s because the education in the desert wasn’t as good as us city folk have it, it doesn’t make you dumb or lesser then when you never had the opportunity to be more than average. If given equal opportunities then-“ dehya smiled at your oh so familiar statement.

“Exactly! See! You have compassion that most of your higher ups lack! You don’t write off people as dumb you work to help them! You don’t write me off as dumb just because I’m a eremite! I don’t see people like you very often. Interesting, compassionate, a little stuck up, but ultimately you’re a wonderful person! You care so much for others even if you don’t always show it as much. You aren’t just adored by your students for your intelligence but for your compassion. And for me, its a bit deeper than that. I love hearing you ramble and complain about your colleagues, i like laughing with you about petty workplace drama, i like how charitable you are, i like how you’re always willing to learn more and change your tatics, I like your smile, i like your laugh. Goddamnit I love you!” She sat closer go you now. You sat up, turning to face her more, a strong blush on your cheeks as you were left wordless, but also smiling.

“Y-you can’t just say those kind of things.. they always leave me so.. stunned.. i never thought anyone would love me if I’m honest… I.. i love you too dehya.. i want to live my life with you.. but how would it work?” You asked.

“Simple, I’ll just have to take more jobs around the jungle instead. I mean I’ve already been here lots of times, i’d just focus less on the desert unless its a very lucrative job. I’ll be home when I can as usual. Maybe we could even align it wit your work schedule. I mean its worth a shot at least?” She said, you noticed she was a little hesitant. You smiled.

“Its worth a shot.” You replied.

#genshin imagines #genshin x y/n #genshin impact #domestic fluff #slightly angsty but not really #dehya x reader #wlw #fem reader #not my best work but i have to get rid of one of these drafts damnit #suggestive themes

34 notes · View notes

sidgeno-ficrecs · 3 months

Text

this delicate place by @ljummen

sidgeno (2019, explicit, 32.8k) **content notes: mental illness, anxiety attacks, depression, trauma and its aftermath

“Are you?” Taylor asks unexpectedly. “Am I what?” Looking up from the stove, Sid finds her watching him with an odd look on her face. “Happy.” It should be an easy question to answer. Sid has escaped back to Canada after a career ending injury. It doesn’t dawn on him exactly how much early retirement has affected him, until Taylor introduces him to a YouTube channel where a firefighter talks about his own struggles with his mental health.

Hey Geno,

I just watched this video and realized that I’ve had several panic attacks over the course of a few months. I had one a few hours ago. I haven’t experienced anything traumatic, but anxiety (I assume, based on your description in this video) has been sneaking up on me. A week ago, I bought two plants, like you suggested in another video. Today’s panic attack was triggered by me noticing that they were dead (the plants, I mean).

I feel stupid for reacting to something so trivial. I haven’t watched that many of your videos, but from what I understood, you actually experienced something bad. So why am I broken for no reason?

this is a hard time of year.

it's dark, it's cold (if you're in the northern hemisphere), and for me at least, it always seems like the post-holiday winter stretch is when bad things happen. it's easy to get lost in your own head and spend hours dwelling on what's gone wrong, or what might go wrong, and get stuck in a negative feedback loop that can be so, so hard to break out of.

i've mentioned before that i don't love fics that diagnose sid (or geno, but it's usually sid) with certain neurodivergencies because in my experience it leads to people talking about him like he actually has x or y and it makes me uncomfortable, but i re-read this fic last night because i've been feeling down recently and i think it deserves a moment in the spotlight.

this story is a very raw, honest look at what it can be like to deal with depression and anxiety, from the perspective of someone who never has before and doesn't know what's going on and needs an extra push to see what's happening and get help.

depression is a lonely, isolating experience, and that's part of what makes it so dangerous. it's so easy to not notice that you're withdrawing and losing yourself until it's almost too much to climb out of, and on top of all that you've lost all motivation to take steps to get better. it's a vicious, evil little trick the brain can play on you, and @ljummen walks us through sidney's experience with it with care, honesty, and compassion.

this fic made me feel seen. it can be hard to read—sid has panic attacks and we as readers experience them right along with him, along with the other symptoms of depression—but if you're in a space where reading about it won't make you feel worse or trigger anything, i really recommend it. we see sid struggle, we see him be in denial of what he's dealing with—what does he have to be depressed over, after all? what trauma does he have to deal with?—and, crucially, we see him turn a corner and start to get better.

i think that's the magic of this story. sid manages to step outside of the black pit he's stuck in long enough to take steps to get help, and he meets someone who knows him and understands what he's going through, and they fall in love despite the obstacles in their way. it's a story about someone whose life isn't going the way they thought it would, but who manages to see that's not necessarily the end of the world, and for me at least reading this story gave me comfort and hope.

yes, it can be dark at times. life can be hard, so hard that it seems easier to just go back to bed and try and wait it out. but you also might meet someone who sees you, and knows you, and is there for you, and who you can see and know and support in return. there's light out there, if you can peek outside the curtain to look for it.

i hope you're all taking care of yourselves. be gentle with your own mind if you've been having a difficult time. reach out to the people who love you—they want to be there for you, even if you're hearing that little voice that says you're just a burden.

and if you're up to it, read this story, which will hopefully provide you a little comfort and escape and hope, like it does for me when i'm having bad days.

read it here on ao3!

and don't forget to leave a comment!

#hockey rpf #sidgeno #sidgeno fic rec #hockey fic recs #sidgeno fic recs #hockey fic rec #@ljummen

31 notes · View notes

soquimic · 4 months

Text

since we are in a new year, it means that we are also embodying a new way of living. me, for the most part, would like my life to go in a different path this year.

i love hyping myself up, thinking and analyzing what i truly deserve as a person, i have been a wonderful friend, girlfriend and daughter, i can’t settle for less. i literally don’t care about the people who call me a narcissist for putting myself on top of most of the things -which is truly important by the way-

without self love you can’t move around in life. how are you gonna convince yourself that you’re worthy of things when you can’t even agree that you deserve them? yes, of course we can manifest stuff in our lives without having a perfect mindset but also sometimes we need to fix it for ourselves and not because of our manifestations and the void only.

i’m a person who overthinks and it’s negative as hell from time to time, like some of you too. i struggle, like a lot of people do. i’m not a special human being, i was made the same way that you were made too. i love talking, i love talking my thoughts and emotions out. i love identifying with people here, i love when people tag me in their journey and manifestation path, i love my anons and their cute appreciation messages weekly, it really makes my day, and i’m also very grateful to you guys for always being there for me even though i’m not the most active person in this community but if i can’t provide a new post for you, i make sure to reblog my whole timeline so you don’t miss out as well!!

i just wanted to post this so i can come back to this whenever i feel down, to remind myself that the year just started and that everything that i want will be mine, i’m worthy of good things and so are you.

i wanna manifest everything that i couldnt last year, everything that i postponed, repay the months that i spent rotting on my bed feeling like a failure, replace my bad and negative thoughts with joyful and happier ones. being even more helpful for all of you who follow me, i might not be a super blogger but i need to assure that everything i do, i do it with intention and a pure heart.

i’m starting a new journey, the old story will end up being ashes and something new will eventually happen. cause i’ve been supporting everyone since my first day here and i love to see how all of you are growing up, especially changing your mentality and i wanna congratulate all those anons who got out of toxic relationships, toxic environments and the ones who have succeeded in their main goals and made all their wishes come true.

don’t let anything or anyone disturb you or take the focus away from your journey. we are all deserving of our desires, don’t feel guilty.

#void state #law of assumption #manifestation #manifesting

27 notes · View notes

effemar · 1 year

Text

ON BRIENNE, HAIR, AND BUTCHNESS — META AND A WIP BELOW THE CUT.

So I’ve been working on a Brienne piece recently, and noticed in my reference designs that her hair isn’t a consistent length — a totally unintentional piece of Brienne meta in itself — and I wanted to type out some thoughts about it.

I think Brienne’s relationship with femininity is so interesting and complex. She’s living in a deeply misogynistic society, and she’s simultaneously insecure about not being feminine, and functionally unable to be feminine, at least by Westerosi standards. This is both because of her physical appearance and because of her aspirations. However, she’s not willing to reject femininity outright. Being feminine in some regard is important to her, enough so that she is upset both at being called a man and being mistaken for one.

Because of this, my Brienne hair headcanons are complicated. I’ll explain.

It needs to be awkward, because Brienne’s awkward. It needs to be functional, since she’s practical. It needs to be recognizably feminine, because she values her femininity. Hair, at least in our western society, is very gendered, both when conforming and subverting. I cut my hair in a men’s cut (or as close as I can get) specifically because I have very feminine features and I dress in a feminine way. My hair is simultaneously form of disruption, a deliberate contrast, and a signal of my identity. So my design of Brienne’s hair needed to be an intentional and nuanced choice.

I imagine, and I believe the text supports this, that Brienne is unsure of herself in terms of presentation, especially gender presentation. This is partially because she’s young, and partially because Westeros isn’t known for its great diversity of female role models. So I drew inspiration from my awkward middle school bisexual bob, from when I didn’t know what the fuck I was doing in terms of presentation. Also, since Brienne’s name is a play on Joan of Arc, I took into consideration classical depictions of Joan, especially Albert Lynch’s Jeanne d’Arc.

I have been talking about this with my dear friend Jasper, who is butch, and in terms of Brienne’s butch factor, we agree on a few points. Brienne can definitely be considered butch (adjective), but I don’t think she’s truly butch (noun), at least not yet. Brienne’s at a point where she definitely resents not being a traditionally feminine woman, insomuch as it makes her life difficult, but she’s also too insecure to project any intentional masculinity. In a modern analogy, I would say that Brienne is the type of person to wear women’s clothing, but not women’s clothing that is overtly feminine — the type of person to try putting on makeup in the bathroom and then quickly wipe it off. She’s not really participating in femininity actively — she’s just trying to blend in. Also again, practicality. I doubt Brienne, in any setting, is going to be wearing skirts on the regular.

I’m also drawing on Brienne’s thoughts and experiences in the books, which I interpret as follows: Brienne doesn’t dislike being in dresses just because they’re feminine; there are distinct reasons. Firstly, they draw attention to her lack of traditional femininity/beauty. Secondly, they have bad associations for Brienne — she’s been mocked in them, she’s been forced into them, and she fought a bear in one, so I can’t imagine they bring up good memories. Third, they just aren’t suited to a lifestyle of kicking ass. But I struggle to believe she truly dislikes the, for what they are — a gendered garment.

Most of this comes down to my personal thoughts on Brienne’s future and present. I think right now, a lot of Brienne’s gender angst comes down to the fact that she’s not yet comfortable enough in her presentation/gender/personhood to fully commit to being something in between. In my dream scenario, Brienne is comfortable embracing her unconventional gender and presents the way she wants, not the way people expect her to.

All this to say, I think Brienne has a really shitty bob with bangs she cuts herself. A little piece of my WIP below ->

#asoiaf #brienne of tarth #meta #my art

191 notes · View notes

kaaragen · 9 months

Text

Rise of the Red Blade thoughts

One of the things I’ve long been asking for is for canon to do something to address the Inquisitors. We partially got that with Kenobi, but Reva is more of a special case. But with Inquisitor: Rise of the Red Blade we do finally have something that does, so it behooves me to add my thoughts. We do get a lot of interesting bits from this book - including, at last!, some canon Seventh Sister backstory!

(Minor spoilers ahead - though if you’ve read the Darth Vader comics you know how this story ends)

First of all, on a story level, it’s entertaining and I think does a good character dive on why Jedi fell and became Inquisitors. Ishkat Akaris is the POV character and she provides an interesting angle on struggles with the Jedi Order. She’s neurodivergent, and while not specified I’m picking up ADHD. She struggles and never quite gets the support she needs. But she is an unreliable narrator, and there is a particular Roshomon incident from when she was young that we return to again and again, getting some different perspectives. Though the narrative (in true Roshomon fashion) never says which was the ‘true’ version so you’re just left with the various ‘certain points of view’. But as a look at someone’s personal journey to the Dark Side, where at of the steps seem plausible and fair from their perspective, it works really well.

But what the book is great for is showing, better than other canon material I’ve come across, what the war does to the Jedi. Communications are poor. Information is sketchy. And young, inexperienced and over promoted Jedi are being sent out as commanders into highly stressful situations. And it really shows how the sheer stress of the war, and how this starts corrupting the more inexperienced Jedi, as the pressure to achieve results in impossible circumstances starts leading them toward ‘quicker and easier’ answers, with even the brighter and more devoted Jedi starting to fray by the wars end.

It maybe doesn’t deep dive as much as I would like; and the timeline is a bit wonky in places (according to this the Jedi had the clone army before they went into the arena on Geonosis which ??), but as far as canon goes I think it’s one of the best explorations on offer.

There’s some other tidbits as well:

Confirmation that if you don’t connect with the Force regularly you will lose sensitivity to it and have to ‘relearn’ as per Kenobi.

We get a bit more in how the Inquisitorious works. Basically a perverse form of the Jedi Order. There are candidate Inquisitors, and when you ‘prove’ yourself worthy you get a Name (eg X Sister). Which was hinted at in Kenobi (the use of ‘Reva’ over Third Sister to emphasise her outsider status)

That said, numbering system still doesn’t make sense to me. I think the implication is supposed to be the number is the order in which a candidate ‘proved’ themselves, but I find it hard to believe that Trilla was the first one to do so. Particularly not as it says Fifth Brother joined willingly and Tenth Brother was already half-way there at the start of the war.

The Agricorps are back baby!

And some canon Seventh Sister backstory! To which:

She’s a little older than Ishkat, whose about 19/20 when the Clone War kicks off. So my rough guess would be that she’s about 25ish when Order 66 happens. So Seventh is definitely a Jedi Knight - which does tie with her line of dialogue to Ezra mocking Kanan for not achieving the rank.

She was Aayla Secura’s Padawan (asterisk on this one - the exact line is ‘trained by’ which is a little vaguer, but Padawan reads to me as the intent.) This would constitute a lore revision that Mirialans are only Padawan’s to Mirialans.

Something absolutely horrific happened to her to make her an Inquisitor. Which you might think ‘of course it did’; but Ishkat meets Second Sister and hangs out with Ninth Sister and specifically mentions sensing something appalling happening to Seventh. So yeah, we’re talking orders of magnitude bad in comparison.

(For those wondering who read A New Dawn Breaks: none of this will affect Sorfelia; I already had something terrible planned 😈)

So overall, I’d say it’s worth a read. And if you’ve read the comics there’s some fun Easter eggs here and there as well!

#star wars #inquisitors #rise of the red blade #minor spoilers #seventh sister #my thoughts

53 notes · View notes

lipglossanon · 7 months

Note

DON'T YOU EVEN GET ME STARTED. Like, Mother Gloss, c’mon- like I’ve been wanting to send in an ask about reader giving sweet!stepdad head for such a long time OH MY GOODDDDDD-

Just think about the very first time reader tries to give Leon a blowjob, and the man is still very much struggling with thoughts that he doesn’t deserve purely selfish acts of pleasure (which isn’t true in the slightest, he finds out later when his fingers discover the soaked stated of their panties). I think in canon this could be supported by maybe the addition that reader’s mother didn’t really do all that much for him in the bedroom, and mans has a bad track record with romantic partners in general, (god though ada is so fuckin hot), so he’s not really used to being pampered. Or, really having his base needs met outside of the act of sex itself. It's pretty visible that Leon's character is one that's left always wanting more, yk? I can see that lonely, sad little dork savoring every time fingers are carded through his hair, and every time his cheek is kissed he feels an almost stinging tingle of the presence it’s left behind on his skin for a few minutes. Touch starved!leon anyways-

All of this to say that he would absolutely be stammering the first time they guided him to sit down on the catch with a glint in their eye, swiftly moving to get on their knees in front of him. Of course he could blame his blush on the (rapidly fading) summer heat and of course he could blame his being flustered on the fact that this is really taking place in the middle of their day, but would the reader really help it? No, we all float down here, Georgie, and we’re all sexually rabid for men that will never exist. In this essay I will-

“B-baby you don’t really need to-” Leon’s usually sultry voice was knocked off its pedestal, each word being wavered by a nervous laugh that seemed to persist through his talking. There was almost a nervous quivering underneath.

“I want to, so bad, please?” And how could he really argue with that? So here Leon is, having only a few awkward or maybe one or two sultry blowjobs; seeing the person he has loved the most in his life enthusiastically sucking his cock? Leon feels like he's going to explode. The reader’s fingers quickly unbuckle his belt and unbutton his slacks, god how are their fingers so nimble- next thing he knows, there’s this wet, suckling heaven around his sensitive head. And reader, being so mischievous, decided not to pace themselves! Wow, what a surprise. Anyways, Leon feels this wet heat that just gets tighter and tighter around his cock as their lips slowly make as close as they initially can to the base, before moving to come back up. He thought they were sucking hard before? At this point, this poor man was convinced that you were trying to steal his soul.

Leon S. Kennedy was never so embarrassed in his life. In around a minute flat you had managed to make him cum, he tries to salvage this in any way he can with a snarky quip or maybe just an opening to conversation, but nothing comes forth. He’s just so caught off guard and vulnerable that at this point he doesn’t truly know what to do, but he doesn’t have to worry much as the reader decided to perch themselves on his lap and start making out with him.

Anyways stop inspiring me. I want to do a prompt over now ;-; But how are you holding up!! I hope this makes up for my absence, and if it doesn’t, expect much more >:) !!! but also expect more anyways lol. I wrote this very zooted on the za, very late, very tired. I’m going to sleep. Mwah mwah to you and the blog, every time you write you eat and leave no crumbs

Ahhhh!! 🙈 🙈 thank you so much!! 🤭

And oh my gosh, yes!! 👏 👏 😤 I’m totally with you! I think he’s touch starved and like wants a meaningful connection but has a hard time letting his guard down so covers it up with snarky little one liners or like tries to play it all Mr. Cool when he’s just this cute little dork who needs the sloppiest head imaginable and then rode until he’s babbling complete nonsense 😌

But yessss sweet stepdad would cum so fast the first time you sucked him off; he’s just so overwhelmed especially when you’re moaning and whining almost as loud as him 😵‍💫 😵‍💫

Haha I’ll never stop 😈 😆 and I’m holding up well! 🥰 I hope you’re doing amazingly and I can’t wait to see what you have in store 👀 👀

😘 😘

#ask box #unmotivated furby mother #lipglossanon #lipglossanswers #sweet stepdad!leon s kennedy

32 notes · View notes