#I'm not sure if I'm explaining it right lol. i def don't think he should have broken Sam's wall or killed Balthazar and also godstiel

[sodalitefully]

okay, i'm super intrigued - what's your beef with matt sorum?

I never really liked his vibe, but I was pretty indifferent to him until his autobiography came out. The official version was published this year, which reminded me that an earlier version was leaked online in 2019 or so, so I tracked down that version and read parts of it, and he just comes across horribly.

He seems to have an abundance of self-importance and a shortage of self-awareness, and he's clearly resentful about not being included in the gnr reunion. He's also pretty shameless about his sleazy behavior with women, while he was in both gnr and velvet revolver.

I also just don't like the way he wrote about his bandmates. Slash and Duff in particular: whenever Matt writes about them he sounds judgemental, he was determined to characterize Duff as spineless, Slash as emotionless and self-serving.

I'm sure it served his "woe is me I'm the real gnr drummer I should be back in the band" narrative to characterize them that way – he didn;t get left out because of his ability/personality, it's because his friends betrayed him, right?

Anyway, after reading about Matt Sorum in his own words, I've concluded he's a dick. I put some screenshots under the cut that kinda show what I mean (mostly about Slash bc... you know me).

Matt is judgy about S&D being passive/non-confrontational. He brags about how he tried to confront Axl when they wouldn't, but it didn't really amount to anything in the end.

Regarding royalties/finances. Honestly I think this is an interesting bit of insight to Slash's character, but clearly Matt didn't mean it in a complimentary way.

Matt keeps harping on this Slash/money thing. God forbid someone in this band is sensible about money.

More about money, also he's bothered by Slash playing with other people for some reason?? I don't even know where to start with that. It's also interesting that he's so sympathetic in his characterization of Axl, considering their history of not getting along. I think he would have written this book very differently pre-2016...

Regarding the name "Slash's Snakepit." You could argue about who was in the right here, but Matt's 'this is the real Slash' thing strikes me as overdramatic.

A bit of Matt's sleazy shit, he goes on to explain how he imparted his wisdom on S&D, taught them how to bring their pick of girls backstage. He describes something similar in VR too, but he throws his wife under the bus. Interesting how Matt will be judgmental of their lifestyle one minute (usually about alcohol), then bragging about being 'better' with women than them the next.

This one's my favorite. Scott Weiland shows up to an important event late and high, Slash is pissed. You don't get to see Slash angry too often. It really couldn't be more obvious in Matt's description that Slash is upset, but of course he still has to make a snarky comment about Slash 'not showing feelings.'

This is pretty much how he characterizes Duff post-reunion. Matt seems to think that Duff wanted him in gnr, but wouldn't stand up to Axl about it. Possible, but patronizing to act like Duff can't make up his own mind. And personally I wouldn't be too surprised if S&D were done with Matt after VR.

And then this. 🤷🏻‍♀️ (edit: he has since recorded & released a track with slash and duff on it)

Look, I'm not normally one to get all defensive over rock stars, I don't know their lives. But Matt's bias and motive are pretty clear, in my opinion, and he also just grates on me personally. I didn't take any screenshots about how he characterizes himself, but he has the vibe of the guy who thinks he can get away with saying anything because 'being brutally honest is just how he is,' an expressive extrovert who makes no effort understand that some people (cough slash and duff) don't work the same way he does.

So thanks for giving me an excuse to rant about it lol. And if any of you want to know more about his book, lmk and I can def help you out or answer questions

Oh also, I haven't read the official published version of his book, but I'm under the impression that it's more toned down. So take that as you will.

#matt sorum #my stuff #reply

[echodimension]

Comic Beginning

I wanna play around with the opening a bit more- I think rather than it just being an "odd day unlike any other", I was debating on adding a funeral as well. Tbh I got the idea from a dnd dms idea thing- so I wanna try working further with that concept.

The difficult part as of right now is figuring out who died and why? Who's all at the funeral? What do they say and how do these things fit into the story?

Although I doubt I'll find any or all of those answers- let alone actually use any of it for the finished product. However I've been watching a lot of Hawaii 50 along with spooky stuff with Halloween coming to an end. (happy sahiem everyone!<3)

My story takes place in a very small mountain/forest kind of town, with a population probably no more than 20-30 people living there when it's not summer time- so because of that, I wonder if the funeral should be for the old major of the town?

Honestly that could help out a lot of parts with the story. It'd be an easy way to introduce the whole town, explain what kind of major he was and what kind of town they're living in, and I'm pretty sure a whole small town like that is in morning for their major would be.. pretty different so it still fits with my original opening.

Possibly the old major had some enemies within the town? They could be at the funeral or could be the whole reason the old major died in the first place. Regardless- I feel like the new replacement major would be there immediately. Probably play up a lot of their own drama with it in hopes of reaching out to the community and even win along the way. I would say that the new major killed the old one so that he could move into office faster but I don't think I wanna go with that because I've been seeing that a lot within my tv shows n I'd like to do something a lil more interesting for my personal story.

The Old Major = a absolutely old fart who didn't really have an idea of what was going on but he was helpful to strangers and neighbors when he could, a very old fashioned man, stubborn and sometimes mistaken as rude or pure brain dead. it's a mixed bag through out the town on if he's liked, hated, loved or tolerated. regardless he kept the small town running and moving forward as the major for over 40 years. not everybody agreed with him but most people respected him. kids liked to pick on him of course.

The New Major = at the funeral, his dramatic theater acts made him quite suspicious with the town people- not to mention that he's from the city and doesn't know a whole lot of people or much of anything for that matter. he's just a small guy in a suit fresh out of collage from New York, based off of his clean look- he seems gay. he is gay. very gay. however the new major eventually proves himself to the town because he becomes an active member of the community, eventually got to know everybody and began making big improvements on the town as it gets repaired, refurbished, cleaned and slightly expanded. when spooky things start to happen later on within the story, he ends up being very helpful with the magic, spooky, and mysterious goings on. he just wants to be a good major and be there for the people he leads with a rainbow streak.

That's all I really have for right now so I suppose I'll expand onto this more later but again- I'm not sure about any of this really lol

However I feel like I'm making a lot of progress with it and hopefully this'll end up being a comic! This def by far he longest I've worked on a writing/drawing/comic book type of project! Granted I don't think anybody actually reads/looks at my posts but just posting the story stuff and sharing into the void really helps me stay on track with this and reminds me to work on it more rather than a google doc and I'm just really proud of myself <3

Thanks for reading if you did though and see ya later- probs

#comic #newtotumblr #wip #workinprogress #webcomic #oc #notes #original #originalcharacter #digitalart #gifs #dark #demon #story #tumblr #writer #new #funeral #dead #triggerwarning #death #doom #deadly #gothic #spooky #cartoon #comicbook

[embossross]

Voilà, here I am !

Hjdhjfhf I was so happy to receive my notification, I wasn't expecting it until next week, I read that you were sick (are you feeling better ?)

Last night alcohol and tiredness got the better of me and I admit I can't remember everything, so here goes the live reaction while I'm re-reading !

First, surfing, I love the idea ? Hanma in a wetsuit I 😍 ... ok, let's focus again.

Our girl is so cute, supporting, applauding and feeding our favorite psychopath playing in the waves, like a devoted babysitter.

"Even a broken clock is right twice". That's it. I think I've said this before, but it's in simple little lines like this that the cleverness of your writing is most apparent. I can't explain why, but I'm blown away every time. You really have this style... idk, it's just smart, sorry I wish I had more words to define it.

"He's glad he resisted crushing all that good health to nothing today." Hm ok, thanks Shuji-baby for not killing us today ig 👉🏻👈🏻 ? (The fries in the milkshake is a big no though. Red flag.)

The euphemisms in the recommendation. This little moment of complicity, I live for it ok ?

AAAAAAAAH DARK MITSUYA I'M DYING !! Seriously, I'm thinking of proposing to the person who will one day write about a not-so-good-Mitsuya (writers here, this is a cry from the heart !)

My goodness. My post is getting really long, I'm getting embarrassing.

The way Hanma narrates the murder, methodical, organized, cold. I got chills, if I were her I would have been fucking terrified.

You know what I love most about your heroines? It's that she (God I'm sorry, I don't remember if she has a name or not) and Yasuko are not bad bitches, they are simple, random girls and yet, that doesn't stop them from being sure of themselves and their desires in front of men who are more than intimidating. I could never. I mean, it took me nine fucking years to be open about it with my boyfriend ??? (Yeah.. maybe I'm the problem 🫠).

"Yeah, yeah, I want to go dancing with you," naaaaah she is so cute !!

"He could just eat you up." YES, PLEASE GO AHEAD SIR 🫡

Ok, I'm at the smut point and I'm going to repeat myself again but you are one of the last authors who can make me blush. WELCOME TO THE CLUB yeah I remember last night stomping my feet on my bed lol

That's it, I'm done bothering you now. I loved every part of this chapter and I would have so much more to say but I'm getting tired of my own self so I'll just say thank you and tell you again that it's always a fucking pleasure to read you. See you 🥰

the RE-read? gosh i am so spoiled by you. i do not deserve it!

hanma in a wetsuit! you are so right for this. someone should draw it fr

i enjoyed the little mitsuya drop there. he would be feral about his sisters & i'd read too haha.

one of the weird things about this chapter is that hanma's now in a great mood, he's happy, he's chill, but he's still so dangerous. you really nailed it when you said reader is babysitting her favorite psychopath. he can be happy and thinking about how he almost killed the instructor - he probably wouldn't have killed reader - and he can cheerfully recount murder. reader's past being too scared though, no matter how chilling, because she saw him gouge that guy's eyeball out once. they are past it lol

i am really really flattered by your comment about this reader and yasuko in dgm!! yes, they are not bad bitches because what kind of power / confidence / authority would even mean anything in the context of these dangerous murderers? and i like the contrast between those two characters. yasuko is def more sure of her desires, but less strongwilled, while this reader actually really struggles with recognizing or pursuing what she wants but is a concrete wall when it comes to what she DOESN'T want and i respect it. anyway ty that's really nice

& thank you for stomping your feet at the smut 😆 i felt like i rushed it, so good to know it has the stamp of approval >> i will see myself out for that pun

your comments are always such a joy to read and they provide not only great insight into what is landing with readers but also great motivation to continue, so thank you sincerely for this 💖💖

#asks

[suncaptor]

I think when people look at Cas's blood on his hands for the most part they... aren't looking at it from unbiased perspective because Cas isn't. He essentially ended a war that was to wipe out billions of humans and destroy the Earth in a renewed apocalypse. The death on his hands is generally always that of a war commander. But the thing is, angels weren't made to fight each other, and the more human he gets the less he becomes a warrior at all. Part of his falling is that: he is introduced as a warrior of God, that's what the angels are. So the more he becomes human, the more he shifts the view of blood on his hands. He's not equipped. Which skews everyone else's perspectives too, especially since at one point he was essentially possessed by evil entities from another dimension and the consequence of his battle moves left new siege upon Earth. But the real war isn't Cas's fault. It's not his fault the angels wanted to start the apocalyse time again, wanted to fight each other, wanted to fight him. But that doesn't matter when you've killed. He keeps the blood on his hands. The reason why the narrative shifts is because he'd give in the guilt. However, the biggest narrative shift is actually due to the betrayal of Dean Winchester, the entire point in the beginning, another fallacy, another trick by a demon like Sam with Lilith. So the fandom, the narrative, and everyone in the canonical universe shifts to blame Cas more than he ever deserves. Because Dean does, and because he does: because regardless of the reason (what is free will? Intention? He should have trusted Dean), there is blood on his hands. But Cas never started these wars. He was always trying to end them.

#cas #castiel #spn #supernatural #incoherents #I'm basically trying to explain how the narrative shifts with his falling and with Dean's perspective because that's where fault lies #This is glaringly obvious if you compare Cas who is fine killing a child in season 5 to save the world but the idea would appall him later #down the line where he finds significance his Claire's smile. he was built for war and he takes it on with good intent (besides the fact #he is biased towards Dean basically everything he does is with good intent) but the issue is the more human he becomes the less an angelic #warrior he is and he cannot handle the consequences of who he has been all in the name of the same morality he is fighting for. #and he can't forgive it. because he looks at it like: had I trusted Dean above myself (like faith like all he knows) then perhaps this #wouldnt have happened. and yeah I'm focusing on s6 bc I don't know HOW you can blame Cas for the angels falling or all the fighting between #them after but the same concepts still run through hes just more and more ill equipped to handle it because he's fallen so far #when people look at suicidal guilty Cas post s7 and think it's because of how horrific he was.... I mean YES the Leviathans shifted his #power to automatically corrupt whatever he did for guilt. but like.. i think the more honest perspective to see it through ptsd from war #his guilt is... part of it and he tried to punish himself eternally for it and that is before the angels all fall and diminish and #hes tortured by his siblings again and again like that ISN'T something you can Blame him for. #I'm not sure if I'm explaining it right lol. i def don't think he should have broken Sam's wall or killed Balthazar and also godstiel #went a bit off the rails though I liken that more to the sorta ghost possession we see but that might me being theological about souls again #but basically: Cas did nothing wrong ever in his life ever* *okay basically with some exemptions but basically

[bumblesimagines]

Green Thumb

Part 7

Request: Yes or No

Yeah.. This is most def my least fav chapter. I need to get better at explaining fight scenes and abilities lol

~

"Hit the three targets at once."

"I can only focus on one-"

"No, no, that's not true. You can do this, (N/N)." You sighed, nodding as you raised your hand, lifting up the three rocks. Clint pointed at each target he had set up. The farm was a great place to practice. You looked at each target, spreading your fingers apart and watching the rocks line up with each target. You thrusted your hand forward, watching the rocks fly forward and hit the center for each one. You grinned, laughing as you heard Laura and Lila cheer from their spot on the porch. Cooper mimicked your movements, feeling Laura pat his head.

"That's what I'm talking about." Clint grinned, ruffling up your hair. You rolled your eyes, looking forward at the targets.

"Now, try out water." Clint said, picking up the bucket and placing it infront of you. You moved your hands infront of you, focusing on the water. The bucket began to shake as the water swirled around.

"Relax." Clint said softly, glancing between you and the bucket. "Don't get nervous or frustrated."

"Okay." You nodded, relaxing your shoulders. You took in a deep breath, eyes closing. You heard Clint let out a suprised chuckle. You opened your eyes, seeing the water in a bubble above the bucket. You slowly pulled your arms apart, watching the water separate into thirds.

"Now, focus on the targets." Clint instructed. You shifted your gaze away from the water, focusing on the targets. You thrusted your hands forward. The water almost reached the targets before falling to the ground.

"Well, better than yesterday." Clint said, hands on his hips. You chuckled, nodding. The only thing you had done was tip the bucket over.

"So.. Natasha mentioned something about you and Wanda." Clint looked at you, cocking a brow. "Do we need to have the talk?"

"Yeah, no. I'm good." You shook your head, chuckling. You rubbed your arm, opening your mouth to speak before you got a notification on your phone. You checked it and sighed.

"New mission?" Clint asked. You nodded, glancing at your mother and siblings.

"I'll try to make it back for dinner."

~~~~~~~~~~

You fixed your hat, glancing at Wanda as she took a sip of her tea. You heard Steve's voice through the earpiece as you scanned your surroundings.

"What do you see?"

"Standard B cops." Wanda replied, making eye contact with you. You rested your head on your fist, gaze flickering over to the police station.

"Small station.. Quiet street." Wanda added, glancing over her shoulder. "It's a good target."

"There's an atm on the south corner which means-"

"Cameras." You muttered, looking down at the drink in your hand. You listened to Wanda and Steve, looking up when Natasha cut in.

"You guys know I can move things with my mind, right? (Y/N) over here is slowly becoming Father Nature." Wanda said, grinning. You rolled your eyes, shaking your head.

"Looking over your shoulder needs to become second nature." Natasha said, shooting you two a look.

"Anyone ever tell you that you're a little paranoid?" Sam asked.

"Not to my face. Why? Did you hear something?"

"Eyes on the target, folks." Steve cut the chit chat. You continued to look over the people around, frowning.

"Go now."

"Why?" Wanda asked, looking at you in confusion and slight panic.

"He's not hitting the police." Steve answered. You and Wanda stood up, ditching the small cafe area. She grabbed your arm, using her powers to lift both of you into the air. She flew over to the Institute of Dieases, letting go of your arm as you shot out a root to a wall. You were able to swing down to the ground, landing beside her. You swallowed, thrusting your hand forward and blinking when a ball of fire shot out, hitting one of the men back against a truck.

"Now really isn't the time to be figuring out new abilities, (Y/N)." Sam called, knocking out a guy Wanda had thrown up into the air.

"I know." You breathed out. You really hoped the new abilities didn't interfere with the mission. Wanda lifted Steve up to one of the floors, glancing at you.

"You'll gain control of them." She assured you as she used her powers to clear out the gas. You ran a hand through your hair, growing nervous. Sam took up into the air, arms extending downward. You raised your hands, roots shooting up and wrapping around his arms.

"Christ, you're heavy."

"Oh, fuck you, bird boy." You huffed, gripping onto the roots as Sam took off. You definitely still hated flying. You didn't look down until Sam got to the marketplace. You followed Sam, spotting one of the men. You clenched your fist, making the ground under the man split off and rise. Sam flew up, punching the guy off and knocking him out when he landed on the ground. You let the piece of ground down as Sam searched the guy. Sam shook his head, standing. He helped Natasha out with 'Red Wing', getting what the team needed. You rolled your eyes as he and Natasha went back and forth, walking through the market to find Steve. You flinched, looking up and seeing a building with a few floors on fire. You looked forward, seeing Wanda with a hand over her mouth.

"Fuck." You whispered, jogging over to her and placing an arm around her. Wanda stared at the building, eyes watering. You swallowed, rubbing her arm.

"(Y/N), I'm gonna need some water." Steve called. You gently let her go, walking forward. You looked at the fire truck, raising your hands and watching the water. You guided it to the fire, a small smile slipping. You took out the fire, a breath of relief leaving you. You turned towards Wanda, approaching her.

"Come on, let's go." You said softly. She gently grabbed your arm, flying back to the aircraft. You entered and sat down, watching her. Wanda gently rested her head on your shoulder.

"I'll never be an Avenger.. I'll never be good enough to be one." Wanda whispered, staring at the ground. You frowned, giving her arm a squeeze.

"You are good enough, Wanda. You did what you thought was right." You said softly, watching her. Wanda sighed, biting her bottom lip.

"What if sometimes doing what you think is right.. Is actually wrong?"

"There would've been way more casualties if you hadn't done that. Cap might've been hurt too." You pointed out, glancing up when Sam arrived. Natasha and Steve arrived soon after. The ride back was silent apart from Steve and Natasha giving out reports.

"Where should I drop you off, (Y/N)?" Natasha asked, looking over at you.

"Home." You answered. Natasha nodded, looking forward again. You gently nudged Wanda.

"Stay for dinner." You said softly. Wanda gave a small nod, avoiding everyone's gaze. You sighed, glancing at Sam. It had been the first mission as a team. It was technically a success since Natasha had gotten what was needed. You stood up as Natasha lowered the aircraft, letting you and Wanda out. You headed towards the house, entering and sighing.

"You two look exhausted." You turned towards Laura, chuckling softly. Laura gave Wanda a smile. After the mess in Sokovia, Clint had introduced the family to Wanda. She was beyond happy when Clint told her Nathaniels middle name would be Pietro.

"Hi, Laura." Wanda greeted her, leaning in and giving her a hug. Laura smiled, hugging her back.

"You two should take a bath. Come on, you can use some of my clothes." Laura said, smiling and pulling Wanda upstairs. You looked at Clint, rubbing your neck.

"I shot fire out of my hands." You muttered. Clint blinked, staring at you with raised brows.

"The mission was a successful but.. There were accidental casualties." You told him softly. Clint sighed softly, offering a supportive smile.

"I'm sure if you could've prevented it, you would've." Clint said, giving your shoulder a squeeze.

"What if I hurt a teammate by accident? That guy I hit with fire could've easily been Cap or Sam." You frowned, arms crossing. Clint gently pulled you into a hug.

"You won't hurt anyone. You just have to figure out how to make your powers come out when you want them to." Clint leaned back, patting your shoulder. You turned your head, hearing Nathaniel coo and blow raspberries. You smiled softly.

"I'm gonna go shower." You said, heading up the stairs. You entered your room, getting a towel and clothes before entering the bathroom. You turned on the water and sighed, looking into the mirror. You wiped at some ash on your cheek, watching the mirror fog. You stripped and entered the shower, relaxing at the feeling of the hot water. You gently ran your hands over your arms, thoughts drifting back to the fire ball. You turned, letting the water hit your back.

"How the hell am I gonna do that again?" You frowned, watching the water. You cupped your hands, letting water fill in. You licked your lips, focusing on it. The water slowly took a circle form, rising up from your hands. You smiled softly, lifting a finger and touching the side of it. You blinked, lips parting as it slowly turned to ice. You caught it as it dropped, hissing softly.

"Jesus, fuck." You shivered at the coldness, giving it a light squeeze and turning it back to water. The water slipped through your fingers, still cold. You finished showering, drying off and changing. You stepped out of the bathroom, entering your room and noticing Wanda brushing her hair.

"How you feeling?" You asked softly, dropping the dirty clothes into the laundry basket. Wanda shrugged lightly, placing the brush on the bed.

"Fine, I guess.. Can't wait to hear what the media has to say about it." Wanda replied, playing with the hem of the sweater. You took a seat beside her, gently bumping shoulders with her.

"Nobody cares about what the media says. They say we're heroes one day and villains the next." You said, watching her. She nodded, fingers going over the brush. Wanda turned her head, giving you a defeated smile. You stayed silent, taking in her tired features. Wanda slowly leaned in, pressing her lips against yours. She leaned back, humming softly.

"That felt weird." You mumbled, chuckling softly. Wanda nodded, smiling as a small laugh left her.

"We're better as friends."

"Yeah, definitely. Plus, I think Vis likes you." You told her, smiling. Wanda's brows rose, looking at you.

"Really?" She asked with a small smile. You nodded, looking up when Laura peeked in.

"Dinner's ready." She chirped. You got off the bed, helping Wanda up from the bed and heading downstairs for dinner.

#x reader #x you #x y/n #x male reader #avengers #avengers x reader #avengers x male reader #avengers x you #avengers x y/n #marvel #marvel x male reader #marvel x you #marvel x y/n #marvel x reader #x barton reader #wanda maximoff #natasha romanoff #steve rogers #clint barton #captain america: civil war #laura barton #laura barton x son reader #sam wilson

[candyredterezii]

op I'm sorry if you're not okay with like-spamming, but 1. like 99% of the posts on my dash are from you, nd are pretty funny. 2. your kar/ezi takes?? are so good??? like you're so right, you're so right and you should say it.

I am curious abt the poly thing, considering i ship dav/ka/ezi. There is almost no content for them and its so aaaugghda

Look they've had time to grow since the meteor shenanigans, I don't see why she couldn't try again with the two of them on earth c? fuck what i also don't understand is how dave is almost always painted as a gay guy, when in canon he's bi? like sure that's an interesting headcanon you can do that!! but the obama shit in the candy epilogues was so unsatisfying, he should've had someone to talk to about that!!! but no, no he's gonna meet obama and come out as gay, which definitely isn't bi-erasure or anything? it's not like in canon he was attracted to jade, john, terezi, and karkat. No he's not bi, that's not what the rooftop scene was about! like holyfuck sorry I'm getting so riled up about this, there's gotta be at least 7 different topics for you to get into, I'm sorry abt the rant. Since I'm here I hope you're doing good tho - ♤

i dont mind like spamming at all dw and i rarely check my activity anyway LOL

i ignore the epilogues i dont look at them or acknowledge them but wow yeah not surprised they wanted to retcon dave's bisexuality cus despite the comic having an abundance of bi rep we gotta ruin it and erase it cus fuck m/f lol

i liked dave/kar/rezi for awhile n they have such fun n awesome potential because they all get along so fucking well?? they're all rlly close with each other and they have amazing chemistry.

like you KNOW that it def involves 2 ganging up and bullying the 1 in fun asshole shenanigans, which is always funny when its light hearted n japes they absolutely all love doing shitty dumb stuff they all humor each other really well

its just. they're so fun. they're soooo funny and i wish i could explain better their potential i just dont have the words

but yk no one rlly thinks or considers it cus wtf is this FEMALE doing in MY m/m ship

#candyredask #anonymous #homestuck /

[lubdubsworld]

Reading about your moments with your husband and that you were introduced to him (is it fair to say arranged marriage?) makes me think back about my close calls of arranged marriage ( I think... idk. I'll let you be the judge of that)

It's quite funny lol

It happened two times.

Once when I was a little baby and some friend or acquaintance of my mom asked if she would marry me off to his son and my mom said no cuz her baby looks hella ugly and she doesn't want that as a son-in-law 🤣🤣🤣

This was a plot so her son would in a way "cut the line" in becoming a citizen of the USA.

The second one was a when I was 18. Some friend of my dad had a son who was looking for someone to marry but he has children from previous relationships and avoids paying child support. I think he was in his 30s or close to being.

Im 20 now but when that proposal happened I did not vibe with that. I briefly looked at him but I just really did not like the vibes he was giving off. I might've judged a bit too much or maybe my gut feeling was right but he just gave me vibes like he was a bum...too far?

I mean I'd like if someone introduced me to a guy but that instance just didn't settle well with me, or maybe it was because I was 18. I'll never know.

Anyway...yeah lol

Just wanted to put it out there cuz that was my experience but idk if I should exactly say arranged marriage because I don't even know if my definition is accurate.

That's how my parents explained it to me at least but idk if it counts but one things for sure is that I had no idea what those encounters were.

Also I'm kinda envious of you because you are that meme: expectation (sunshyn) vs reality (me)

I apologize if my view of arranged marriage is inaccurate and trust me I def need to learn more, I'm...

A ✨S T U P I D A M E R I C A N ✨

Trust me I'm aware of how it is down here in the US of A.

I pretend I do not see, luv.

Anyways, Your husband sounds like a blast with the way he says things with a straight face.

and I am laughing cuz I can just imagine the guy's face when you brought up divorce. He must've been like

oh man... I never vibe with older men looking to get with eighteen year olds... in fact even with me and my husband it was more me chasing him and him being reluctantly forced to give me the time of day lol...

also always trust your gut instincts man .....

but yes, my husband's ability to keep a straight face and say the funniest shit is what makes me fall madly in love with him all the time like sir do you not know how sexy your expression less face is....

#he's yoongi

[freddiefcknmercury]

A Promise(part 2)- Crimson & Clover

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader(Black coded/Genderless)

Word Count: 2.7+

Warnings/Disclaimer: SMUT. ANGST. cursing. mild depression/heart-ache. etc etc. if something needs to be tagged please lemme know.

A/N: LOL I'm back on my bullshit yall. heavy angst/depression from the previous Steve centered storyline so if you haven't read "You really think I didn't know?" I'll do some magic linky links here and at the bottom just in case. Also I'm trying something kinda different with the way I post the fics so feedback is welcome.

ALSO this one comes with a tiny playlist! there are Bolded lyrics throughout if you want to get a deeper sense of where I was emotionally writing this and where reader is as well you can Def give these songs a listen, they are in order of appearance:

Crimson & Clover- Tommy James & The Shondells

Every Time I Breathe- Arlissa

Navy Blue - Hasani

Summary: Bucky takes an extended leave for "work" related reasons and reader slips back into some dark places in his absence...

~*As always, be Nice to me I’m Delicate*~

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

He said he might be gone most of the week. Sam called the day before and all you know is it's something important. He didn't go into detail, just packed a bag and you'd never seen him do that before. But he was also only gone a day or two at a time and never felt the need to tell you about it before now either.

Up until recently you'd tip-toe around each other. Not like you used to with Steve though, worse. Bucky is a lot better at making sure you don't know he's there until it's too late. It felt like you'd never get used to each other, or more likely that you'd never want to. You might've still been secretly hoping that he'd stop caring and go away... after a while you got tired of your own bullshit and realized he's giving off that vibe on purpose. Wordlessly telling you how you should feel about him, not wanting to get too close. You never much liked being told what to do.

It was only about two months before you became a Barnes' expert. You'd sit up at night listening intently for when he'd shower, get in bed, or wake up. He never slept more than five maybe six hours at a time, you'll never understand how he can function like that. You know how he likes his coffee, which angle he holds his cup. How and where he takes off his shoes, how much ice he puts in a drink, the way he likes to cut his toast, and what time he has to do all of it. There's an almost unnerving pattern to him, one that's always been there and you were just unwilling to notice for so long, and you're not sure if he's even aware of it.

You woke up to him already gone. You knew he was leaving but actually being left alone like that unsettled you more than you anticipated, a serious case of Deja vu. You went into your routine like normal, because everything still was, but by the fifth day... you stepped into the front room and got that empty feeling. One you hadn't really had since...

It stopped you for a few seconds longer than you liked and a large knot formed in your stomach. You spent the whole day trying to ignore the feeling but it only got worse. Like a hunger pain but much more vague, crawling through each muscle. You'd catch yourself staring at his room, Bucky's room but also... Steve's. It's the first time you let yourself admit to him fully crossing your mind in over a year.

You laid up in bed, trying to count the metaphorical sheep to no avail. Getting up thinking that a snack or a warm drink will stop the restlessness, you pause in the tiny hallway shared by your bedrooms. The low blue light from the moon outside dustily illuminating the space through  a cloudy bathroom window. You stare at the door like any second he's going to ask what you're doing up so late and you can tell him to mind his own business while pouring two cups of tea.

You just wanted to touch the knob; turn it to make sure it still works- that you're still "allowed in there if you want". But stepping inside was too far, an invasion of Bucky's privacy, and you felt it. But you couldn't help yourself. You needed to know.

They were definitely cut from the same cloth. Sparse furnishings and no decorations, save a few very small trinkets he'd held onto from who knows where. There is exactly one row on his bookshelf filled with composition notebooks that were beat to hell and back. Sticky notes lined the edge of most of the pages, so much so that they easily could've been mistaken for feathers on a quick glance. You dare not touch them. Observing someone with a past that checkered is very different to reading into the things they deem worthy of physically writing down.

Where Steve used to leave small drawings and notes Bucky left half empty ink pens and a few well used pairs of gloves. You saunter to the far corner of the room and caress a worn leather jacket hanging precariously on the lowest peg of a coat rack. Doing a slow sweep of the space something in the otherwise barren closet catches your eye. The knot in your stomach that had almost disappeared was back and it brought friends. Your shirt. His shirt. The big one that said BROOKLYN across the front, what you didn't know was your "going away gift." The one you balled up and shoved in the top corner of his closet, at the time hoping you'd never look at it again. You're amazed that it's still here, that Bucky hadn't tossed it out or tried to give it back to you when he moved in.

So you put it on. You're still not sure why but you needed to wear it. To feel it drape over your skin, enveloping you in warmth and that beautiful clean familiar scent you... loved once. It sent a shiver down your spine. The knots in your stomach were gone but now there's one in your throat. You can feel the tears seated right behind your eyes. You sit on the bed holding your face pleading with the water to stay put but it's too late. You miss him. You hate to admit it, but it's true and it always has been. You're angry and you should be, you loved him- you thought he might've loved you. Pulling the hem of the shirt up you wipe the tears off your face and fall into a pillow, trying to calm yourself out of your rage unintentionally drifting into sleep.

*****************************************************

You wake up to the sound of music in the kitchen.

...Ah, now I don't hardly know her, but I think I could love her...

You sit up quickly checking your phone: 11:34am. You'd fallen asleep in Bucky's room, in his bed. A blanket had been placed over you and a short scan of the room returned a brown leather duffel bag and set of black boots that weren't present last night. He'd come back early this morning and found you here. You can feel your heart fall straight out of your ass, the void that was left being filled with pure embarrassment. Is he angry? He did tuck you in...

As slowly and quietly as possible you make your way towards the door, poking your head out just enough to assess the situation. You can see his back in the kitchen, he's hovering over the sink. You notice the couch, the spare blanket and pillow from the bathroom closet folded neatly on one of the arm rests, he had to sleep there. The void gets deeper. You pull the door open just enough to slip out of and there's a quiet creak. Steve never did fix that, and you just figured out why.

Bucky didn't turn around but definitely noticed. He steps to the side, now in front of the stove and you here something crack and sizzle. You're not sure what to do here. You can try to apologies and explain but there's no un-embarrassing way out of this one. You fold your arms over your stomach trying to hold all your very delicate pieces together while you attempt to speak up. Finally reaching the bar and fully prepared to say good morning when he quickly sets a hot bowl down in front of you. White rice and a fried egg- runny yolk. You'd make it for breakfast when you'd get up early or couldn't sleep, a friend from school put you on to it. Looks like he's been studying you too. You make eye contact but, just briefly. From what little of the expression you get on his face nothing indicates that he's mad. But he hasn't said anything to the contrary either.

How was your trip?  Dangerous I bet-sorry you couldn't come home and sleep in your own goddamn bed! Oh?! AND you made me breakfast!

You feel like a crazy person.

"Comfy last night?"

He's pouring himself some coffee, not yet turning your way. There's no hostility in his voice.

You chuckle nervously.

"Yeah.. sorry about that."

"Don't worry about it."

He sets a small glass of juice down in front of you. Heavy eye contact this time, but his expression is soft. He didn't ask for an explanation and you really didn't want to give him one. But you still feel guilt looming over you. You take the glass in both hands and nurse it.

He nods at you with a squint, taking a big sip of coffee.

"If I knew that was yours I would've given it back."

The shirt. You forgot you actually put it on. You hold your breath stroking the fabric gently. Contemplating your next words.

"It's not- well, not really."

He raises an eyebrow.

"It was a gift, so I guess it does belong to me..."

Glancing back down at it you can see him realize it says "Brooklyn." His expression changes to a knowing one and it reads like regret but he quickly tries to box it back up for you. This is a new move for him.

There's a much longer pause in conversation than either of you would like before he shifts his weight awkwardly.

"Sorry."

You push glass, now empty back across the bar towards him.

"Don't worry about it-"

You swivel in your seat quickly, taking your bowl and getting up to leave. He steps out from the kitchen after you.

"Thanks for breakfast."

The tears had been welling up and started to pour over as you left. You're still in no state to pretend to be a functioning person right now. Trying to save him from your ugly cry face by escaping but he grabs your shoulder gently suggesting you backwards.

You cover your mouth to hush a sob. You can see your chest start heave but there's nothing you can do to stop yourself. He grabs the bowl setting it down carefully, then you feel a warm metal sensation squeezing the back of your neck.

"You don't have to be over it."

He's been back a couple hours and already knows you're still a mess. You scoff, laughing at yourself really.

"What's wrong with me?"

"Nothing."

He whispered back quickly, exasperated, but tender.

You sniffle; pathetic.

"That's not how it feels."

"He fucked up. He just doesn't know it."

He wrapped his arm around your shoulders pulling you into his embrace.

It's nice to feel another person. A real solid human being; you can't remember the last time you hugged someone like this. You turn in his arms to face him. He looks tired. Not just 'had-to-sleep-on-an-old-couch' tired. Emotionally repressed. Maybe he has actually wanted to talk to you. He pulls you into him, it's just a hug  but it almost hurt how sweet this was.

Then a thought came to you, not really sure how, you can't handle more rejection right now; but you kissed him anyway, hard. Like him being gone almost killed you- because it did. He pulls away from you, just a little, reading your face his own expressionless. You search his eyes for any kind of hint as to what's going on inside his mind. You're not ready to admit this was a mistake yet. There's no real way to know how long you stood there like that. You only dare to move after you hear the song change in the background.

Words... thought they just fade away

but hurt... gave them a place to stay

"Do something."

You were sure it was just in your head but it creaked out past your lips in less than a whisper, pleading with him.

He covered your mouth with his, smoothing both hands down your neck to your shoulders gripping them gently, intently. You cling to his waist almost afraid to explore anywhere else, then slowly drag nails along his back. He pulls you back into him, you want to fuse with the warmth radiating off of his body, he bends and you collide onto the floor with a muffled thud. He cradles your head quickly so you don't get hurt but you wouldn't care at this point.

The way you fit into each other is unnerving, like your bodies weren't meant for anybody else. You both scramble to undress him in between breathy wet kisses and he's... magnificent. He pulls off his shirt and you swiftly run fingers from his neck down each arm. The metal one is warm, this surprises you for some reason. You watch as each "muscle" dances at your touch and you catch a small glimpse of something on his face that resembles insecurity... or fear. He shelves it quickly in response to you bucking your hips up to dismiss your underwear.

He buries his face in your neck, warm breaths ghosting your skin. Hooking his hands behind your knees he hoists your legs up around his waist. He bites down gently and you gasp. It's too much. He's everywhere, all at once. The last person to touch you event remotely close to this was-

"...Steve."

It just came out, you almost didn't notice it. Bucky stops, pulling back and away. He scans you, a pitiful, panting mess on the floor. The most vulnerable you've probably ever been and definitely in front of him. He shakes his head slowly once, chest heaving.

"No."

Knots line your stomach once again. He grabs your wrist to hold your arms in place up above your head and presses his forehead against yours.

"Look at me."

You hold eye contact there for a solid minute, you're sure of it. He leans forward delicately dragging teeth against your ear.

"You're gonna keep saying it until you can't forget."

He drops his hips and lines up with your entrance. You feel a thick wash of euphoria from the pressure, throwing your head back as much as possible given the floor. You roll your hips along to his, cradling each other perfectly.

His eyes didn't leave your face until you both feel your legs begin to tremble.

"Oh Bucky."

The only words you can remember.

You feel every stroke hasten and all his muscles tighten each time his name falls from your lips. He pulls your shirt up to your neck looking to spatter kisses and bite marks across your torso. You futilely dig one set of nails into the floor and the other in his shoulder as he hungrily growls into your stomach, cursing, longing for mercy.

"Fuck."

You pull him back up to your face demanding his tongue. You hear the floorboard creek from the pressure of a metal hand, the flesh one surely bruising your hip by now. There's a deep enduring moan from the back of his throat as he finds his release inside you. You gasp at the sensation and you both pant into each other, nothing but a mess on the floor now.

He presses a long, firm kiss into the bridge of your nose then falls gently on his back beside you. You roll your head up to look at his face, whatever it is he's feeling isn't immediately obvious as he stares up at the ceiling. You shift onto your side placing a light, cautious hand on his chest and he glances over at you, reaching to squeeze your thigh reassuringly.

The sky is Navy Blue soon to be baby blue and baby you got nothing but time...

He looks over your face in a deep sigh before retiring his gaze to the ceiling.

"I don't know him... The guy that left you like that."

You watch intently has his jaw clenched, he's never been able to hide that bit very well.

"I don't know what kind of..."

He trails off, clearly upset.

You sigh deeply.

"I was gonna die that night."

He rolls his head back to look at you.

"The day I met him? I had pretty much made up my mind."

You start to fiddle with the hem of your shirt. Almost reminiscent.

"But he found me in the staircase..."

You hate how subtly he did some things. If you weren't lying next to him. There's no way you'd ever be able to tell his breathing had changed.

"Essentially-"

You pick your head up, chin on his sternum.

"He saved my life."

You state matter of factually. You watch his body relax in a short, bitter way.

He rolls his head over just enough to look you in the eyes. You kiss his chest once tenderly before moving to stand up. You extend a hand down for him to grab.

"That isn't good for your back."

"You really think I didn't know?" Part1

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x black!reader #bucky imagine #bucky angst #bucky fanfic #bucky barnes x genderless!reader #marvel fanfiction #marvel au #fic playlist #crimson and clover #every time I breathe #navy blue #arlissa #tommy james and the shondells #hasani #steve rodgers x reader #steve rogers #steve rodgers imagine #milk of magnesia

[igarbagecannoteven]

hello megs! B, C, F, W for the fic ask game! -taylor🖤

hi taylor! i hope you're doing well!!

B: any of your stories inspired by personal experience? for sure! i would say most of my ideas are not, but several are based on irl things, or at least semi-rooted in a real experience i had. the best example is don't drown in my mind, the first half of which was mostly written from memory (with some details of the breakdown changed so it wasn't *too* close to home lol). there's also seeing things in a different light, which is set where i grew up!

C: which member do you identify with most? mmm this is a hard one bc the sheer fact that they want to be and are famous musicians is very not me lol. i think i'm both the most and least like ashton if that makes sense? like, we have very similar senses of humor and also i think have some similar thought processes sometimes, but also on the flip side we do have very different ways of approaching other things and also i am an introvert with crippling social anxiety and he is not lol. i find michael easier to project onto in fic and etc but I think in actuality we don't have a ton of similarities (altho there are def a few). sorry that is the most non-answer ever skdjfklsd i'm bad at perceiving myself

F: share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

“You know, you’re pretty good at this,” Calum said as Michael was finishing up. “At the whole taking care of superheroes, I mean. You should make a career out of it or something.”

Michael didn’t respond right away. He knew Calum was attempting to make a joke, to lighten the whole gory situation, and yet…

“I wouldn’t do this for anyone else,” Michael said softly, not looking up from the particularly stubborn spot on the cuff of Calum’s sleeve.

Calum took in a sharp breath. “Good.”

Michael glanced up, eyes wide.

Calum gave him a hesitant smile. “I wouldn’t want you to do this for anyone else.”

idk what exactly about this bit from what if i'm weak (and i need you tonight?) makes me love it so much but i do think it captures their dynamic in this au pretty well, plus i always struggle to know what to end on and i think this a pretty decent beat for this particular fic to end on :)))

W: do you like more general prompts or more specific ones? well i've only really gotten one prompt (that i have yet to fill out despite knowing what i'm going to write bc i am a terrible procrastinator) so idk how well i can answer this but i think it depends on what you mean? like, i like things that give me a specific direction and have some details mapped out while still giving me wiggle room to make it my own, but i also prefer to not get the pairing included in the prompt since normally the way i work is idea first, pairing second, writing third, so ig my answer is a healthy balance btwn the two?

fanfic ask game!

#i picked a section of dialogue that's already out in the world bc i want to sustain *some* mystery for my wips #or at least i feel like people will like things more if they don't know *everything* about the fics #and i am not at all happy with my answer about which member i relate to but say la vee (la vee) #(yes i know that's not how it's spelled skjflkdsjl) #but like i said i'm terrible at vibe-checking myself #i'd be interested to know who other people think i'm most like *eyes emoji* #maybe i'll ask bella when she gets back from her meeting #answering mail #taylor

[berrymeter]

ok perth u probably didn't see the oneus cb yet but i gotta give u my thoughts please take my thoughts.

black mirror: it feels a little atrocious and cheesy and i actually love it like it's just a catchy song!! they could have gone harder but i'm okay with it. the mv is VERY valkyrie which is cute but also boring. none of the shots really wowed me also rbw tanked their budget for this cb.. and some of their fits suck. for me this is a step up from banbakbulga though

connect with us: letdown letdownnnn i would honestly rather listen to the outro version of this song. there is no movement there is no buildup. but xion has a verse so 🥰🥰 i guess

polarity: THIS IS THE ONE.. catchy as hell mwah

happy birthday: save me. save them. the chorus is nice honestly and i like this producer but the aggressively heterosexual corny english interjections really took me out of the vibe.. it's not my birthday i'm not your girlfriend shut up shut uppppp

valkyrock: mixed feelings bc it really just feels like valkyrie with poorly arranged hard guitar in the bg there were some weird instrumental choices too. it serves its purpose which is to be a cool concert remix. there are some cool moments tho especially with the main guitar which i can only assume is kanghyun just shredding it good for him. could have gone harder with the rock concept

so overall this cb... just okay. i'm okay with it! it's def not a come back home or a tbontb (i actually LOVED tbontb era sfsgdfdgdg even the acoustic guitar in the chorus) but frankly it wasn't trying to be that. still feels pretty oneus. anywayyy this is long! i just wanted to like. open a discussion lol don't feel pressured to respond!! -tt

i can finally start answering this ohohoho

hi tt anon my beloved!!! i am ready to answer to these thoughts (aka compare them to mine hSDGHSDKJGH. also i’ll be writing like, each ThoughtTM after i’ve listened to each song, so while i’m typing that i’ve only heard black mirror)

ok so i’m done typing my thoughts and. it got VERY long. don’t apologise for length i’m also wordy <3

now connect with us. so far i didn’t like the voice editing on keonhee’s voice but the song sounds... alright... not groundbreaking but it’s alright. seoho my beloved <3 WAIT THERES NO DROP IN THE CHORUS???? WHAT THE FUCK? i don’t really like the typical kpop drops always used now but come on?? oh wait there’s a? ugh. that was nothing. well i guess it’s a song and dongju got a verse for sure. i don’t have a lot to say on it i don’t know if i’ll add it to any playlists IS THAT HWANWOONG’S FIRST LINE?????? what the hell is any of this DSKJFHKJHD i may not have noticed him before but huh what. eh. it’s a song. again maybe it’ll grow on me! but right now yeah it’s a letdown i agree.

so for black mirror i agree the mv was... cheaper than what we got with gaja, twilight & etc. like they used all the budget on their first mvs DNSKJFHKJ (and to be or not to be... i guess? i don’t remember much except Guns And Blood Bath). i don’t really mind it in itself bc i don’t watch mvs much anymore and i’ve accepted that sometimes companies will just throw whatever at the audience for the sake of money (see also: ugly dance by onf letting me down in great part bc it acts as a followup to beautiful beautiful but is literally just a performance mv with no storytelling elements whatsoever but eh what can you do right) but for someone who likes cinematography it’s definitely gonna be disappointing if they were expecting something like gaja or come back home. as for the fits i didn’t really look at them, mostly their faces? and ough they are pretty <3 but yeah i wanted to get the more negative criticism out of the way so i can talk about The Song because unexpectedly i actually really like it!! and we can thank the bassline for that LMAOOO honestly this is gonna sound mean for no reason but this is what w*nho (censoring in case it gets in tags... i do NOT need mbbs after me on this fine day) thought he was doing with his debut song (not losing you that one made me cry. the one that i forgot the name of). i really enjoy the vibe of the song even if imo it doesn’t really fit the visual concept very much? but it has strings and i’m not gonna say no to strings. strings and a sexy bassline. and yonghoon’s whistling. SHFSDHKH

no but it’s a really good song imo! it’s not... as good as say, twilight (maybe it’ll grow on me idk we’ll see but twilight really was one of their best so), but it’s still a pretty solid song and while i do like banbakbulga a lot now it feels a lot less oneus than black mirror. oh wait i have something else to say, they really should leave the rapping to ravn bc like we know kpop rappers are not really rappers but i. really don’t wanna hear leedo rap anymore. he has great vocals there’s no reason for that... ravn is genuinely enjoyable to listen to so i don’t mind him but pls rbw give leedo more vocal lessons so he can sing more (and also give dongju vocal lessons at all?? why does he get two lines per song??? they’re a 2 yr old group now there’s no excuse. is he that bad? i don’t buy it he sounded good in the rtk gaja)

black mirror also very vaguely reminded me of run away by got7 during the chorus for some reason feel free to ignore that HFKJSHKFJ

onto polarity! shit i really need wrist braces. well this is like an improved connect with us? it’s definitely catchier sdnfsjkdfh and definitely a oneus song tho that means i don’t really like what their style is headed toward... one of the percussions they keep using, i really don’t like it!! i hear it everywhere and i don’t like it! not bc i hear it everywhere but bc it’s used for anything and everything like u should be more careful with what sounds u use for what songs. but i’m also very picky in the little details when i’m focused on something i guess sndfjskh. keonhee sounds really good in this song thank u mr lisp for my life i love u :) OH WAIT LEEDO IN THE CHORUS??? VERY GOOD LET’S GET MARRIED jk not to a leo man.

then we got happy birthday....... um... i was gonna say this is fine then he said you’re my goddess and. let me out <3 NOOO KEONHEE SOUNDS SO GOOD THIS IS EVIL... WHY DOES HE SOUND SO GOOD ON THIS SONG NANODNONDD LOVE LOSES </////3 i wouldn’t say it’s unlistenable for me like english girl but i’m gonna have to turn off my english speaking brain to listen to it yeah. it’s a good song otherwise what a shame... stop pushing ur heterosexual words onto me i’m just trying to listen to a song!!! do songs have to be gendered!!!!!!!!!

valkyrock here we go. last one. last one boys & not boys. so far it’s nice tbh. HUH? they lost the vibe with ravn’s verse. okay i guess the prechorus is alright i can hear the faintest hint of strings. the chorus... the percussions should not be like that... like idk how to explain it but the rhythm is too regular and not spaced out enough, if they were gonna do it like that it should hit a lot harder. don’t give me just the big boy (idk the english name but u know the one on the drums) and the small cymbal sound... that’s not loud enough bring out the damn gong (ok i may exaggerate but like it sounds more dancey than rock either way). uhhhhh overall though i really like the mix of the heavy guitar & strings i think that’s great and they should do that more. i can only assume onewe took care of the instruments LMAO harin u should’ve gone harder than that king i know u can...

so uhmmm for me this cb is... better than the previous one. which is sad bc it was a full album. i also liked it better than tbontb bc i felt that one didn’t go hard enough and black mirror wasn’t trying to go hard in that way so it doesn’t bother me 😭 yeah it’s not light us raise us fly with us level but it’s really good still. i can’t wait for oneus to finally release something that makes me insane but tbh? tbh? the bassline might get me there anyway. sexy bass makes me deranged and i think that’s at least a little bit relatable. still... when oneus get back to their roots in ways other than valkyrock maybe we’ll ascend to a better plane. much love 💕

#asks #tt anon #long post #sorry everyone im passionate about the music i listen to KANSNSJS

[ultraclops]

Semi-Live Blogging: Finale Time!

With reaction images this time!

Adoradad

TRAINING EXERCIIISE

Adorabat's practicing her screaming! Bet that's gonna come in handy later.

"Fneh!" Wow what an introduction Eugene

His design is like? Really cool?? He looks practically nothing like Adorabat tho. And why does he have a spade on his stomach instead of a heart??

Badgerclops drew him with a giant ass mustache lol.

Adorabat takes banjo lessons? More importantly, Eugene thought she was at a banjo lesson FOR 8 MONTHS?!

"She scares me" lol

Adorabat ran away from home? Why?

"I thought you were a ward of the state!" Remember when everyone thought Adorabat was an orphan? Yea.

"I thought you were my conscience!" Badgerclops...you've lived with Adorabat for a year...went to her school...AND YOU THOUGHT SHE WAS A PIECE OF YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS?!

...why did Badgerclops use Adorabat as monster bait...

I expected to hate Eugene but he's actually really cute and interesting?? Aside from the fact he thinks Mao Mao & Badgerclops are criminals. Love to see him again sometime!

Wow her dad has a whole badass mansion!! Why doesn't she just stay there...

Oh...her mom died...that's why he's so protective of her and was so upset when she left. Also her mom looks amazing & I wanna see a flashback episode with her. For some reason I can imagine her sounding like a deeper version of Scoops?

Aww Adorabat's room is super cool! Also Eugene cracking the door for her asfgjkl

"Do you think that monsters attacking the city are gonna - wait, does that have peanut butter in it? " (Cuts to MM & BC eating ice cream while crying) That's a perfectly rational reaction to losing your adoptive daughter

"I can keep it together!" (Cut to Mao Mao trying and failing to shovel ice cream in his mouth with his helmet on) NSADGEDHAMADH

Wait a second. Mao's eating mint chocolate chip ice cream. ISN'T CHOCOLATE TOXIC TO CATS?!

"But you said I was part of the team!!" "Then you're...off the team."

Adorabat crying while showing Eugene the picture OUCH MY HEART...

"I used to go exploring in those caves with Mom all the time..." I'm guessing those are the caves from the promo?

"She wasn't afraid of anything!" " Well Adorabat definitely takes after her mother...

"And then one day, Sonara didn't come back with you." Ooh her name's Sonara!! Pretty!! I can't tell if they chose it cuz it sounds like Sonar or because it means "pleasant sounding"

Glad to see Adorabat's still a die-hard metal fan, even with Eugene

Oof Mao isn't taking this well at ALL if he's pretending Adorabat's molt is her...

OOH SHIT ADORABAT RAN OFF TO THE CAVES - wait a minute no she didn't. OH NO EUGENE WENT TO THE CAVES

Ooh there's Sonara's looking glass, bet that's gonna be important

Yay Adorabat saved her dad!

Damn Adorabat must be super traumatized after basically watching her mother die. No wonder she tried to murder Boba-Chan!

Oh the only way to stop the monster is by screaming!

(Mao Mao hears Adorabat scream) "ADORABAT?!" ADOPTIVE DAD POWERS ACTIVATE

Ooh her mother's figure appears over her when she says she's not afraid of anyone...maybe her spirit's inside of her or something?

REVENGE TIME BAYBEY

HOLY SHIT ADORABAT FUCKING MURDERED THAT THING

Eugene & Adorabat both apologized to each other I...

"You can't just leave without the most fearless member of the group!" YAAY ADORABAT'S BACK (Also how are we gonna explain to Eugene Adorabat's scared of the dark?)

"I'll mess 'em up real good! So good, their mommies and daddies won't be able to recognize them when I'm done..." Daaammmnnn...

"She scares me :)"

I wonder...is Sonara really dead? Or are they gonna pull a Kipo & have her still be alive but in a different form?

Badge-A-Fire explosion

Uhh...where is Badgerclops? And why is Mao Mao on the top bunk?!

Of course Badgerclops is petty enough to install a fake monster alarm on his laptop to wake Mao Mao and Adorabat up.

"This is a super-serious work meeting, as you can see by the fact that I haven't provided any snacks!" No snacks?! This must be a serious issue!! /s

"As you know, I am a creative genius. Sometimes there's so much natural creative genius that my brain overloads, and I enter a heightened state that I call 'Ultra Focus'..." Oh so basically like hyperfixation?

"...where I break into a creative sprint, inventing super-advanced technology at supernatural speeds, unparalleled by anyone in the entire field of science." Okay maybe only a LITTLE bit like hyperfixation...wait a second, IS THAT WHY BADGERCLOPS IS SO TIRED ALL THE TIME?!

Uhh did he get his arm stuck in the front door? HE TOOK THE AEROCYCLE?!

"...I forget everything the next morning." Remember my headcanon that Badgerclops represses his memories? Yea...

"Which is why it's not my fault and I don't think I should be criticized :D" TBH I screamed with laughter at this scene solely because of the expression he made

...HE GAVE THE SKY PIRATES THE GEM CELL?! I mean he clearly wasn't thinking right when he did it BUT STILL?!

"Oh hey, I told you I'd use that weird elevator thing!" Dude you LITERALLY used it in Ultraclops. What are you talking about.

"If the Sky Pirates had the Gem Cell, they would've used it already!" That is a fair point ngl.

Umm...did Badgerclops give Adorabat a BOMB?!

Tbh if my friend woke me up in the middle of the night with weird-looking eyes and handed me a timer while saying something about an explosion I would DEFINITELY not go back to sleep afterwards...

I'm sorry, IS THE WHOLE VALLEY GONNA BLOW UP?! WHAT THE HELL DID HE MAKE?!

Mao wiping Badgerclops' tears I'm

A paper towel dispenser? Well that's not that bad - IS THAT A GIANT PAIR OF PANTS?!

Ooh it's not a shock collar it's a translator!! That makes a bit more sense... "I HAVE NO REMORSE OR CONCEPT OF EMPATHY!" ...if the monster doesn't have remorse or empathy how does it know what those words mean...

Badgerclops keeps telling Mao Mao & Adorabat not to criticize him...hmm...I wonder who criticized his inventions that made him that way...*cough* HIS MOM *cough*

"Are all your inventions this weird?!" "YOU'RE WEIRD!!"

IM SORRY DID BADGERCLOPS BUILD A DANCING MACHINE INTO MAO MAO'S BONES?! HIS BONES?! AND HE MADE ADORABAT A SECOND MEGAPEG?!

What in the absolute hell is going on dgaadhdagdadga

Okay but when Badgerclops clutched his head and started shaking when Mao Mao asked why he made those things...I FELT THAT IN MY HEART I FELT THAT IN MY SOUL

Ngl this scene really hit home for me cuz that's how I act when I have a breakdown...

The timer went off but nothing blew up - WAIT, IS THAT A REPLICA OF MECHA HOSSORAFFASNAKEARANG?!

"Initializing Totally Humane Knockout Procedure." (Proceeds to slam the Sheriff's Dept. into the ground) ajdajdgdad

Ooh...ohh they're on some sort of water park...ride...thing??

"And if I didn't want us to get out, then I made sure we couldn't...with super-strong shoe things." But there isn't any on Adorabat, can't she just squeeze herself out?

Ooh I'm getting Pirates of the Caribbean vibes

There's the Gem Cell, it must be powering the ride! Also the robotic arm slaps Mao's hand the same way Mao slaps Badgerclops' hand in Flyaway skkkk

"My amazing creativity is finally gonna destroy us all..." "Hey, at least we'll be destroyed together!" Fair point, fair point

The shoosh returneth

"I always loved inventing." So he was an inventor ever since he was little? Daww.

YOUNG BC IS SO ADORABLE!! He has a lil medical patch instead of an eyepatch which is def more accurate to real life...but what's the vest for? Protection in case he falls? A pressure stim?

That figure's def his mom since they rejected his ideas & he mentions she was mean to him. Also the theory that his mom's a villain seems a bit stronger since they straight-up hand him a tool kid + a set of blueprints with no regard to his safety...

"Also there was a bunch of other kids at school and some other people throughout my life who mocked me relentlessly." THEN WHY'D YOU TELL ADORABAT YOU COULDN'T RELATE TO HER WHEN SHE SAID NO ONE WANTED TO BE HER FRIEND?! (Also I noticed literally all the kids are other badgers, so I'm assuming Badgerclops grew up sheltered like Mao Mao did.)

So the Ultra Focus is basically a really weird coping mechanism to deal with all the abuse and bullying he went through? Holy fuckkk

"They only made fun of you because they were jealous. Happened to me my whole life!" Umm...

"Even the dance chip I surgically implanted in your brain?" Excuse me the dance chip that you WHAT

"I love you-" HE SAID IT 💗💓💗💓

"I'm finally around people who love and understand me..."

Wait did the cannon misfire? DID IT BLOW A HOLE IN THE GROUND?!

OH HE ACTUALLY DID CREATE AN ANIMATRONIC BAND?! I THOUGHT IT WAS A JOKE!!

"Take it away, Boss Hosstritch!" (Distorted garbling)

Oof Mao caught all the water

"We hope you all enjoyed being Badgerclops' friend." 💞💕💞💕

Not that anyone cares but I noticed there's a picture of some of the Sweetypies on the monitors, meaning 1. Badgerclops tested it out using them first, or 2. Badgerclops just likes those Sweetypies for whatever reason. Tho that makes me wonder why he'd choose Pinky of all people...

THE SKY PIRATES WERE INSIDE THE ANIMATRONICS THE WHOLE TIME?! THE MAN BEHIND THE SLAUGHTE

Zing Your Heart Out

Why are they giving out rotten sushi??

"HOW DARE YOU LAUGH AT ME EATING SOMETHING GROSSLY?!"

Ooh god Chester's gonna be super freaking annoying in this episode, I can feel it.

"What's blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint!" BAYBEY

Jesus what a prick. GET HIM MAO MAO

Ngl that background's really pretty...

Oooh no the Ruby Pure Heart's being weird again. Ooh no.

FUCK YEA ROAST HIM BABY - Did Adorabat's eyes turn purple because the Ruby Pure Heart gave her powers?

Oh so the siren in Badgerclops' robo-arm is a backup monster alarm?

More Sky Pirates - and the Pure Heart's being weird again...

"I'd tell you but despite your height it'd go right over your HEAD!" Asdfgghjjk

"For someone with two brains, you're not very BRIGHT!" EVEN BETTER

Kevin said he was raising money for a school trip, then for a trip to the hospital...which one is he raising money for?!

"SILENCE PANCAKE, LEST YE BE BUTTERED"

OOH NO SHE ATTACKED MAO AND BC

"IT FEELS LIKE THE WEIGHT OF ONE THOUSAND PLANETS!!"

"One second, I'm getting mad, and the next thing you know-" Is she freaking possessed??

Wait, is the Pure Heart TALKING to Adorabat?! How?!

Cluckins you don't ask people what's wrong with their eyeballs...even if there is something wrong with their eyeballs

"I CAN'T FEEL MY SELF-RESPECT!!"

The pure 'oh shit' on Marion's face when Adorabat turns to her

Half of the people she insulted showed up to her party! Didn't that mean she loved them?!

Oh god not this bitch again - nvm, thanks Adorabat

"Taking over the castle and ruling Pure Heart Valley forever does sound nice..." This is starting to remind me of that one AU where Adorabat turns evil, becomes the ruler of the Sky Pirates, then convinces them to kill Snugglemagne and becomes the queen of Pure Heart...she isn't gonna kill Snugglemagne, is she?

What did Adorabat tell Snugglemagne?! I WANNA KNO

Why is Pinky stealing teeth...reminds me of this

NO BC DON'T EAT THE TEETH

"I...hate myself! Therefore, I'm invincible!" So the trick to not getting your ego destroyed...is to not have an ego. Sounds reasonable.

"Your bug platter, my king?" Genderfluid Adorabat rights

"Mao Mao, your head looks like a CROW!" (Mao Mao caws) IT WAS A LIE HE ISN'T A CAT HE WAS A CROW THIS WHOLE TIME-

"It looks like a half-melted ice cream cone!!" That is...a strange way to describe your own neck...

"Well, I'm...bad (◡‿◡)" Kinda weird that the canonically depressed character can't even cleverly insult himself

...why does Adorabat's skin smell like old cantaloupe

OH SHE IS POSSESSED!!

HOLY SHIT MAO WAS GONNA FUCKING MURDER ADORABAT TO SAVE THE KINGDOM?! THANK GOD HE SAW HER JOKE BOOK, HOLY SHIT

Positivity outweighs negativity!

"WHERE DOES A 800 POUND GORILLA SIT?!" "Where ever it wants!◝(⁰▿⁰)◜" Curse you for making me laugh...

OOH NO THE JOKEBOOK! - Wait nvm Mao remembers Adorabat's jokes!

I think the reason they used that joke is because it represents Mao Mao and Adorabat - Adorabat is blue, and she wants to be like Mao Mao, who wears red. What is BLUE, and smells like (is similar to) RED paint?

YAAAY HE BROKE HER FREE FROM MIND CONTROL!! And did BC get Thanos snapped in the background?

"Thank goodness you're alright! We almost..." Fucking murdered you? Yea

"Might we have our crown and kingdom back, yes?"

"Sorry for being such a monster today." "You're a monster everyday." Is that a joke because she was today's villain, a reference to Sleeper Sofa or foreshadowing?

I hope Mao Mao and Badgerclops decide to investigate what's up with the Heart in Season Two, cause I highly doubt they'll let Adorabat getting fucking possessed go under the radar.

The visual gag of Mao trying to stomp out his ice cream cone like a cigarette is perfect. This is peak comedy everyone else go home

WHOOP CHESTER'S ASS GUYS

Strange Bedfellows

"So, your name is Boss Hosstrich, but you're not actually the boss?" How long did it take him to realize that

JFC Mao & Orangusnake are REALLY hellbent on killing each other huh...at least the deputies and the other Sky Pirates have common sense.

Hahaha nice Dragon Ball Z reference - and they both got crushed by the monster! Lovely.

...did Mao seriously think he died and went to heaven?

So does Orangusnake breathe through Tanner or do they both breathe independently & Coby can feel when Tanner can't?

Dang those skeletons remind me of the Steven Universe Future episode Growing Pains. And why is Lucky inside of Orangusnake? "THAT WAS MY LUNCH, JERK!" Ooh that's why.

"They're full of these tiny, little cracks or, as they're known in the medical field, 'whoopsie-boo-boos'." AGSADGASGADGDASG

Damn their skeletons are just gonna freaking evaporate huh...

"The doctor said I was very brave :D"

Ooh shit the Deputies and the other Sky Pirates met at the same elevator, are they gonna fight - nevermind, they're still calling time.

JESUS CHRIST ARE MAO & ORANGUSNAKE EVER GONNA STOP?!

"You don't have the guts!" "I have a million guts." That is...mildly concerning

"Yeah, I wanted to be a baker, before I realized I liked hurting people so much." Then why doesn't she just like, help Muffins or something?

Tbh I thought Ratarang was holding a gun and I'm glad it was just a weirdly wrapped banana

CONE OF SHAME. CONE OF SHAME. CONE OF SHAME.

"Aww, y'all shouldn't have - this is empty." "Just like my heart when you injure yourself!!" He loves him sm...💓💓

"Why didn't you bring me weapons?!" "Because this is a hospital, and I'm a good boy (◡‿◡ )"

"I really feel like this could be a turning point in their relationship." (Mao and Orangusnake proceed to try and kill each other again) *sigh*

Ngl Mao & Orangusnake constantly repeating themselves is getting super annoying.

That hospital bed beeping is giving me flashbacks to all the times I went to the hospital for seizures...

"You know y'all could live like this, like, all the time if you didn't go around hurting people, right?" "Pssh! Tsk-tsk, boy. You know I gots to hurt people." Uhh you guys should really listen to Badgerclops he knows what tf he's talking about

UUhh, whose egg is that? "MAMA" ASGagddahDh

Of course they had to land in freaking CEMENT to realize that maybe they shouldn't kill each other

Did Mao just deflate like a ballo- oh nvm there he go.

Boneless Mao. Boneless Mao.

And Mao saved Orangusnake!! By...breaking every bone in his body somehow.

"I'm the kind of hero who wants to save you so I can fight you later...at the right time and place." Just gonna file this along with the credit score scene from Perfect Couple in the 'Orangumao' folder.

Is Badgerclops duct taping Mao to the stretcher? I mean, at least he won't move & hurt himself again but geez

Tbh Zing would’ve made a better finale than this ep. At least it had a sequel hook

#semi live blogging #semi-live blogging #//long post #// long post

[punkscowardschampions]

Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: [I'm gonna say he's just full on sat next to her for food or whatever after also sitting next to her on the coach/minibus etc] Jimmy: let's not stop meeting like this Janis: Hope you don't think this harrassment is going to fly Janis: not a Catholic school Jimmy: You'd have to speak up, reckon that's about as likely as Jesus weighing in on the issue Jimmy: but alright I owe you a vape pen, glue stick or whatever else the paddy youth classes as a fun time Janis: Wouldn't wanna inflate your ego more than everyone else has Janis: or talk to you, obvs Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: congrats on your immunity Jimmy: 🏅🏆 Janis: To what? Janis: the clap or your lack of charm Jimmy: both Jimmy: you're a real winner, girl Janis: aw thanks Janis: if you want tossing off under the table though, you've got plenty other options Jimmy: a real heart breaker, you Jimmy: gives me a better idea Jimmy: tah Janis: that's me Janis: brains and beauty Janis: ? Jimmy: don't forget modesty and humility Jimmy: use your 💔 talents to publicly me and I can spend the rest of this trip in exile Jimmy: 🎻😭🎻 Janis: i'd rather, tah Janis: you want that rep? Janis: guess a pussy is pretty undesirable Jimmy: more than the one they're trying to give me, yeah Jimmy: not the only 🧠 on board Janis: no jerking off, remember Janis: fine Janis: leave your vape pen at home Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: don't touch me Jimmy: or my nonexistent vape pen Janis: not planning on it Janis: school trips are ample molestation time all 'round but me and Mr Lucas got other 🎯 Jimmy: what is the plan then? Jimmy: be 💔 to cockblock you and him and that's your thing more than mine Janis: you've come to me with no plan? Janis: 'course Janis: right, who's in your room? Jimmy: if you can't do it you ain't the girl for me Jimmy: and if you are, I ain't gonna tell you how to work Jimmy: Dunno, man bun, deepest of v neck t-shirts? Jimmy: probably does vape Janis: yeah, dead considerate, I buy it Janis: not bad description though, if you're a police informant, you're giving the game away Janis: later, message me when he's got his mates in your room, yeah Janis: step 1 Jimmy: 👌 💰 Jimmy: I'm 45 and faking being a real boy, the 😎 hide my crows feet Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [when you 😏 irl] Janis: explains the whole look, really Jimmy: [likewise cos she's funny too] Jimmy: save it for the break up, sweetheart Janis: rest assured, just 'cos you're new doesn't mean I've not got enough insults for you to spare Jimmy: that'll be why I asked you Jimmy: all in for that 👅 baby, sharper the better Janis: obviously Janis: not like I'm the only bitch who wouldn't take this as a 💍 Jimmy: 🤞 Mr Lucas has picked one out for you Jimmy: 👰🎊💕 Janis: 😩😩😩 Janis: don't get my hopes up Jimmy: my bad, mate Jimmy: You want me to give him a nudge? Only take the one screenshot, I'm sure Janis: idk if he swings both ways Janis: or that a 🍆📸 is gonna help my case Janis: but cheers, mate Jimmy: give him a bit to get to know me Jimmy: and appreciate my many talents Jimmy: be alright Janis: defs what they had in mind for the group bonding sesh Jimmy: bit rude to skip it then, like Janis: who are you to deny the world of your 'talents' Janis: I feel a migraine coming on though Jimmy: with a head that big it's gonna be a killer Janis: 🤞 Janis: I'll need all afternoon Jimmy: 🙏🏻 for you, my dear Janis: 💕 Jimmy: 😘 Janis: [a dramatic 😑 deadpan] Jimmy: [he's just like 😏 of course] Jimmy: the dickheads are about Janis: alright Janis: get ready to answer the door Janis: [idea is she shows up so whoever the f was in her room at the time knows she's gone somewhere (and they nosy af so they'll be ON IT) and then these lads will see them go off together and thus the rumour-mill can do it's thing without them having to do more than go and hide and smoke somewhere for a hot sec] Jimmy: if you're gonna be naked give me a heads up to be 😍 not 😑 Jimmy: whatever the rumour mill reckons I weren't on that teen soap Janis: alright, hollyoaks Janis: the accent and the IQ, not any of the emotional range Janis: subtly is your friend even if I ain't, nothing makes them lose their shit more Jimmy: maybe you do have something going on behind them 👀 Janis: save the 'compliments' for when you 'reckon they're just out of earshot, boy Jimmy: save the bossiness for when Mr Lucas wifes you Janis: you're the one that said you weren't gonna tell me how to work Janis: so fuck up if you want my face to be anything but not at your door Jimmy: you're working them not me Jimmy: so crack on Janis: pick up a hoodie or a jacket yeah Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: what's your colour? Janis: right, so you aren't a total amateur Janis: ⬛️ works 😎 boy Jimmy: It's how we woo girls in the freezing cold north Janis: try not to freeze yourself 'cos naturally you can't have it back 'til this shitshow is over Jimmy: are you dyslexic? I just said 💪 Janis: believe that when I see it Janis: [shows up] Jimmy: [off you go 'sneakily' haha] Janis: [she's 100% in a shortie PJs moment for the added scandal of it all 'cos unlike the rest she hasn't bought all the LEWKS to this trip honey, hence the need for the hoodie] Jimmy: [don't check her out too much boy cos we know that's actually a look and you wanna] Janis: [avoid the teachers on the way out but get caught on the way in, 'cos no one ever gets in proper trouble on school trips 'cos they cba but again, gets people shooketh] Jimmy: [such a mood, unrelated but I once mooned on a school trip] Janis: [just walking in casual silence right now] Jimmy: [literally not gonna say a word this whole time lbr] Janis: [suits both of you, just be somewhere they can't be peeping] Jimmy: [you know he's 🚬 because always, casually retrieved from behind his ear because #mood] Janis: [just stealing it 'cos what else are you gonna do frankly] Jimmy: [giving her a look like oi and stealing it back cos likewise] Janis: [when you're just snatching lmao, 'YOU owe ME, dickhead, so consider your debt repaid' 😏] Jimmy: [lights a new one for her and gives her it like aim higher because shady bitch and also that's a habit from day 1] Janis: [raises it like cheers] Jimmy: [tips a hat he doesn't have on] Janis: [the 🙄 but we know you sneaky amused] Jimmy: [gotta give them back because its what they always do] Janis: [gestures like gimme your phone] Jimmy: [does without a second thought which makes me die] Janis: [lucky she's not being a dick with it, takes a cute/vaguely sexy pic in his hoodie and saves her number handing it back with a shrug like now you can brag as much as you do or don't wanna 'cos how boys do] Jimmy: [sends her a text which is literally just '😍' so she has his] Janis: [sends back a '🖕'] Jimmy: [sends back '💔'] Janis: ['😂'] Jimmy: [when you gesture at her to come here so you can take a pic together because she needs something in her phone too in case of nosy bitches] Janis: [does, obvs, start as you mean to go on lads] Jimmy: [casual photo session] Janis: [you know grace is blowing her phone up like WHERE HAVE YOU GONE rn] Jimmy: [the truest thing, hold on honey, they're busy] Jimmy: [he'd give her a bemused look cos miss popular is not the mood he expected but like also he knows the plan is working so can't complain] Janis: [the face you'd make 'cos it looks like you're just bffs with her and not related like omg no] Jimmy: [it'd make him lol he wouldn't be able to help it] Janis: [just scowling in that last pic] Jimmy: [casually his fave out of all the pics] Janis: [the temptation to send one to her just to shut her up but that'd be too easy so you gotta make her work for it lol] Jimmy: [you'll have so much time to shut everyone up, hang in there kids] Janis: [for now enjoy the literal irl silence] Jimmy: [it would be so nice cos his roommate would be as annoying and loud] Janis: [I legit thought you were describing Ollie so #real when your fam is just too much] Jimmy: [#confirmed and whatever girlfriend he has currently should be on the trip too so it's even more annoying to share] Janis: [fun and games, defs kicking grace out so you can 'get it on' 'cos she'll be fuming, everyone coupled] Jimmy: [we simply must] Jimmy: [she'd have to throw herself at some random trip lad so as not to be entirely left out which is not a mood] Janis: [can only imagine the quality gurl no] Jimmy: [honestly, don't even bother but we know she will] Janis: [god bless, also you can probably start heading back lads] Jimmy: [take a second to imagine the kiss when he walks her back, like enjoy everyone but also you two shamelessly] Janis: could've warned me, prick Jimmy: so you're the amateur then? Jimmy: could've warned me of that Janis: fuck off Janis: was following the 'don't touch me' rule Jimmy: you never said I couldn't touch you Janis: 'cos it's a given Janis: whatever Janis: it worked Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: you don't think? Jimmy: you that confident? Janis: i get it, lads ain't AS hysterical as girls are Janis: usually Janis: these headphones aren't as noise-canceling as they promised Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: not for you, but as far as the plan Janis: you're welcome Jimmy: not for long Jimmy: exile, remember Janis: ain't got a spare room I can magic out my arse for you Jimmy: I get it, we ain't back at your mansion now Jimmy: it's alright, rich girl, no hard feelings Janis: 😢 some more, pussyole Janis: you wanna swap beds? Jimmy: you want that rep this soon? Jimmy: I've had a few less than 🥇 nights with northern lasses but nowt worth crying about Janis: you can spare me the details if you want an invite Janis: the idea is to be less annoying than this lot Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: hope you don't think i'm doing this work for free Janis: they reckon we're having such a scintillating conversation rn, again, welcome Jimmy: what you don't love an emoji standoff? Janis: 😍 Janis: of course Jimmy: if you need me to make you 😳 that's one of my talents Janis: sure Janis: that shit don't work on me Jimmy: sure Jimmy: you're well special, you Jimmy: a proper ❄ Janis: if you like Janis: or you ain't as special as you've been led to believe but either or Jimmy: the idea is to be less annoying than this lot, in your own words Janis: if you think i'm the type to take the higher ground whilst you continue to be a dickhead, you got the wrong bitch Jimmy: If you think this is me being a dickhead, you've got the wrong northern new boy Janis: scary Janis: is this the part where i cream myself? Jimmy: You can't kiss and you scare too easily Jimmy: is there owt else I gotta be warned about? Janis: you couldn't make a 🐷😳 Jimmy: you've got body issues an' all ✔ Jimmy: what diet are you on, I'll try and look interested Janis: wrong sister Janis: pass on your deets Jimmy: Tah Janis: have fun Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [skip to after am activities which they slayed as a #team] Janis: tah for not dragging me down too much Jimmy: I were about to say the same thing to you, girl Jimmy: 💕 Janis: wow, so in-synch Janis: what am I thinking rn Jimmy: it'd make a 🐷😳 Janis: [when you barely hold back that lol] Janis: oh well Janis: 💕 whilst it lasted babe Jimmy: fuck it, I'm still pretty Jimmy: 🧠 off for a bit Janis: sound like a delusional single ma Janis: you'll bounce back, karen, you still got it Jimmy: that'll be 'cause I am Jimmy: two kids and no man Janis: 💔 Janis: make the most of this you time Jimmy: on it Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: 🙌📣👏🏆 Jimmy: living laughing loving Jimmy: all in this one morning Janis: break out the pink gin and prosecco babes Jimmy: It's a #date Janis: the lack of booze on this trip is shocking Janis: someone's got to have something Jimmy: meant to be what you paddys are known for Jimmy: sort it out, the lot of yous Janis: if I find the goods, I won't share 💕 Jimmy: actually 💔 Jimmy: I'll sneak off and find my own then Jimmy: gotta be a pub somewhere Janis: you reckon you're getting free Jimmy: why not? Janis: 😎 not ninja Jimmy: I'll send you a selfie once I've had a few Jimmy: proof'll be in the pint Janis: fuck off are you going without Jimmy: you reckon you're coming with? piss off Janis: i won't need to chat to you when we get there Janis: if Jimmy: you don't need to chat to me now but on you go Janis: this ain't talking Janis: and you can't stop me Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: you'll get over it Janis: dry your eyes Jimmy: You'll get over staying here Janis: fuck off, you don't even know where we are Jimmy: I've got a 📱 knobhead Jimmy: [waves it at her IRL] Janis: call a hotline to 😢🍆👌 it out Jimmy: phone a friend to take you to the pub Jimmy: I'll see you there Janis: I can go myself, dickwad Janis: 🤞 we don't pick the same one Jimmy: I'll avoid anywhere called the Blushing Pig Jimmy: know it's your local Janis: you'll wanna avoid anywhere too local with that accent Jimmy: I ain't scared, leave that to you, like Janis: piss off Jimmy: the plan's that, yeah Janis: okay, try this one, shut up Jimmy: this ain't talking Jimmy: what happened to that? Janis: i make the rules Janis: it's talking when i want you to not Jimmy: 😍🤤😍 Janis: 🙄 Janis: laters then Jimmy: in a bit Janis: ✌ flip reverse that Jimmy: [nearly lols] Jimmy: 😘 Janis: 💕 Jimmy: went from hot to cute well quick Janis: yeah, not the only one with talents Jimmy: I might believe you when I see any Janis: I were about to say the same thing to you, boy Jimmy: I got in there first, girl Jimmy: what are you gonna do? Janis: fact remains, no blushes, just bullshit Janis: and to get to the pub? Janis: not helping you, amateur Jimmy: [sends her some real saucy shit use your imagination cos we know I don't have skills] Jimmy: To hide your blush or top that Janis: [when you have to make a face of disgust so it ain't straight up 😳] Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [at least her going out for a run would not be weird if the teachers asked] Jimmy: [run baby run] Janis: [jump that fence, you're defs getting into trouble after the hols, starting the new term off well before finishing this one] Jimmy: [start as you mean to go on, everyone will be scandalised] Janis: [just ignoring each other lmao] Jimmy: [good luck with that] Janis: did you get lost Jimmy: did you pull a muscle? Janis: I'm 💪 Jimmy: no proof, just chat Janis: proof is how far behind you're lagging Jimmy: Piss off Janis: aw baby Jimmy: save your sweet talk, Judith Jimmy: you might need the practice but I don't need to hear it Janis: gotta concentrate on your 🗺 Janis: only so much 🧠 power a Northern boys got Jimmy: congrats on being a native, mate Janis: ain't that hard Janis: one main road Jimmy: I'll drop you in my old home town and you can let me know how well you crack on Janis: alright Janis: piss easy Jimmy: 👌 Janis: can't be much worse than here Jimmy: can be your own judge Janis: generous Jimmy: I ain't buying you a pint Jimmy: stop flirting with me Janis: I'll get someone of age to do that Janis: tah Jimmy: 🧠 and 🍀 Janis: just tits Janis: don't feel too bad Jimmy: I feel bad for you if you're banking on that Janis: 10 feminist points for you, pop up a status #ally Jimmy: I meant 'cause your sister's are better but alright Janis: didn't see her hauling her arse over no fence but alright Jimmy: nobody asked her, that'll be why Jimmy: must be politer than you an' all Janis: find your way back and shag her then, like Jimmy: If I fancied that I wouldn't be here Jimmy: but tah for giving us your blessing Janis: got more chance that than getting a drink Jimmy: take that 🍻 chance still Janis: tits aren't that good then Jimmy: To cancel out the lass attached she'd need them🥇 Jimmy: I'm new, but that don't mean I ain't got a single clue about nowt Janis: so made up you've seen a boob, mate Jimmy: me too, like Janis: 👌 Janis: [sends picture of drink like mission accomplished] Jimmy: 👏 Jimmy: you should post that somewhere you can actually brag Janis: tah for the suggestion Janis: wait 'til I'm finished Janis: Lucas don't need my location Jimmy: How else is he meant to propose? Jimmy: 💔 for him Janis: you wanna 💔 him when I get caught cheating Jimmy: he's 💕 I'm just here to make you 😳 Janis: not talking about you, you ain't here Jimmy: not talking to me either, this don't count Janis: too right Jimmy: 👍 Janis: be thinking up #s for me if you've got the brain space Jimmy: How much you gonna pay me, rich girl? Janis: get you a pint if you ever make it Jimmy: [struts in] Jimmy: Go on then Janis: [gets the lad to get 'em all a drink in, sure he is thrilled lmao] Jimmy: [#cockblocked] Janis: 👏 on not dying Jimmy: might do on the way back Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: 🎻 Jimmy: wouldn't be a tragedy to miss more team building Janis: I don't wanna give you cpr Jimmy: don't bring it up then Jimmy: I never asked Janis: I don't care Janis: not catching a case 'cos you're suicidal Jimmy: I get it, you need the practice for that an' all Janis: I get it, you're a dick Jimmy: Is there owt you can do on the first try? Janis: none of your business Jimmy: no then Jimmy: alright Janis: you don't know me Janis: and you don't need to Jimmy: 👌❄ Jimmy: I don't want to Janis: sure Janis: so don't ask Jimmy: It weren't a real question, more of a dig Janis: like I said, I get it Janis: real edgy stuff Jimmy: whatever big head, you know things Jimmy: I got that myself ages ago Janis: yeah, you're dead convincing, hollyoaks Jimmy: I wouldn't bother auditioning if I were you Jimmy: they really care about tits Janis: you're fooled Janis: but thanks for the advice Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [when your phone's going off 'cos only so long before they'd be obligated to call the police lol but they'd try to get contact first, massive 🙄] Janis: drink up, newbie Jimmy: no chance, I just got here Janis: you wanna be dragged out by a teacher Janis: that'll look well 😎 Jimmy: If it's Mr Lucas Jimmy: 😍🤤😍 Janis: [short lol like ha] Janis: alright then, enjoy Janis: [going out with the dude] Jimmy: 💕 Janis: [after a period] Janis: I'll tell 'em where to find you then, shall I? Jimmy: such a romantic, you Janis: well it ain't gonna look very #goals but that's your choice Jimmy: Thought you were making the rules Janis: I ain't gonna drag you out, nice try perv Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: do whatever the fuck you are gonna do then, Jennifer Janis: 🙄 omg get out Janis: take the glass with you if you're aiming for impressive here Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: what are you trying to achieve Jimmy: We've done this bit, don't know each other, don't want to, ring any bells? Jimmy: and it should be obvious for a 🧠 like yours Janis: you want to get them to leave you alone, sure Janis: so you don't need to cause this scene Jimmy: Do you wanna be here? Janis: I didn't come for no reason Janis: but I don't need the garda called on me Jimmy: I came here for my dad's bollocks reasons Jimmy: so maybe I do Janis: alright Janis: I'll say I ain't seen you then Janis: if that's what you want Jimmy: that won't look right Jimmy: we're meant to be love's young dream Janis: right Janis: so we've really gotta bonnie and clyde it? Jimmy: I'll find another way to fuck him over Jimmy: without dragging you down into it Janis: cheers Janis: consider it an IOU, yeah Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: we should've taken more pictures Janis: I've text my sister, now they know we're not actually runaways/kidnapped/other, we can at least take our time before the bollocking Janis: get another drink if you want Jimmy: I don't have a 🔪 in my pocket everyone Jimmy: figure it out Janis: just pleased to see me, yeah Janis: good one Jimmy: 💀 pact's tomorrow Jimmy: and we're obviously using poison Janis: obviously, the ⛵ lake isn't deep enough to walk into the middle of Jimmy: and I don't have rocks in my pocket either Jimmy: they ain't that deep Janis: 💔💰 poor boy, right? Jimmy: Yep Jimmy: 🎻😭🎻 Janis: gutting Janis: I'll bring the poison then Jimmy: Tah Jimmy: I'll bring the 🥧 for you to poison Janis: it's for credit, by the way Jimmy: 👌 Janis: somehow shitter than I imagined still Jimmy: 💔 Janis: yeah yeah Janis: you got a 🚬? Jimmy: only thing actually in my pockets Janis: don't need an inventory can I have one Jimmy: If you come here Janis: so bloody awkward Jimmy: I don't get credit for exercising, mate Janis: 🙄 yeah cheers for the training Janis: [comes in though] Jimmy: [waves because cheeky little shit] Janis: [😑 just puts her hands out like tah] Jimmy: I said, come here Janis: [stomps closer like boy] Jimmy: [pulls her closer to him because 1. that bitch and 2. selfie opportunities shouldn't be ignored 3. shameless] Janis: [when you go hard for the selfies but then you push him back like oi] Jimmy: [when you likewise go hard for the selfies but then shrug and walk out knowing she'll follow you for that 🚬] Janis: you're so stupid Jimmy: *northern Janis: if you wanna do your people like that Janis: I'm just talking 'bout you Jimmy: We all understand what come here means Jimmy: my stupid dog just about does an' all Janis: fuck off Jimmy: Do you want a 🚬 or not? Janis: I did, you heard me Jimmy: Come on then Janis: [comes out but starts walking gesturing like let's go] Jimmy: [lights one for her and holds it out cos always] Janis: [takes it in silence] Jimmy: [walking and 🚬 in silence as is their standard] Janis: they better go easy on you 'cos you're a new kid and by proxy, me Jimmy: I'll play the 🎻🎻s loud Jimmy: it'll be alright Janis: yeah Janis: long as my parents don't find out and try to fuck with my holiday, give a fuck Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: like you wanna be grounded for 3 weeks Jimmy: like that'd be his choice of punishment Janis: lucky you Jimmy: Yeah Jimmy: poor you Janis: mhmm Jimmy: [is just 😒 but when is that not his face tbh] Janis: [so not gonna notice really] Jimmy: [deafening silence is also not a clue] Janis: don't snitch on me and I won't snitch on you Jimmy: 👍 Janis: later then Janis: [bolts 'cos awkward] Jimmy: [meanwhile he's taking his sweet time and we all know it] Janis: [the very next day, room cleaning duty 'cos you've been bad eggs] Jimmy: here's your chance to see if anyone has anything to drink Janis: true Janis: I'll do Dan and Jake's room then, that's where my money is Jimmy: 💕 and 🍀 girl Janis: godspeed Janis: 📸 anything good Jimmy: What kind of bollocks paddy punishment is this? Jimmy: barely started and I've got 🚬s and 💸 Janis: they ain't the sharpest Janis: plus they're terrified we'll turn around and say they went full on abuse of power away from school property Jimmy: You should let me in your room Janis: I ain't got nothing to steal, have at my sister's shit Janis: but seriously, they realise they've left us alone rn, dopes Jimmy: Later, dickhead Jimmy: when your sister is about Janis: twincest ain't the one Jimmy: 💔 Janis: Jack would disagree, clearly Janis: [retro pornmag moment] Janis: guess he knew the signal would be shit, clever boy Jimmy: can't be that clever if he ain't getting any off the page Janis: neither are you, like Jimmy: You're rocking my world, baby Jimmy: don't insult yourself Janis: 😏 Janis: right Jimmy: [a picture of some prescription pills] Jimmy: want these? Janis: won't even take offense to that implication Janis: go on Jimmy: 👌 Janis: You should come then Janis: later Jimmy: I don't wanna do drugs with you, Jodie Jimmy: it weren't the idea Janis: I get the idea, moron Janis: I'm saying yeah, probably should Jimmy: Alright Janis: these kids are idiots Janis: why have they bought half this shit Jimmy: not all of them, I just found your sister's friend's binge stash 🍫🍪🍬 Jimmy: won't be starving in a bit Janis: that's evil Janis: someone'll die if she don't get her cals Janis: 🤞 it's grace Jimmy: 😈 me Jimmy: come and get a 🍪 Janis: not your stupid dog Jimmy: she follows instructions 50% of the time Janis: 🖕 Janis: maybe if you were a better trainer Jimmy: more for me 💕 Janis: you enjoy, I'm busy Jimmy: I get it, it's decent porn Janis: that's it 🙄😂 Janis: but you've put me off now, twat Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Jimmy: 🍀 I'm coming over later then Janis: obviously Janis: how morally dubious is it to put Kieran's missus' bra in say Janis: Leon's bed Janis: asking for a friend Jimmy: I'd reckon you were morally obligated Jimmy: answering for everyone Janis: 😇 me Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: Pouring water in Brian's bed is gonna be my good deed for the day Janis: 🙏 Jimmy: Could've got into Catholic school well easily, me Janis: missed a trick Janis: you'd have loved it 📏😩 Jimmy: @iantaylor8 Janis: that is a username and a half Jimmy: Wait til you have a scroll, mate Jimmy: you'll be 😍🤤 Janis: 🍀 I don't need the sugar Jimmy: he ain't got the 💰 to be that kinda daddy Jimmy: and you ain't got step mum in you Janis: fuck you Janis: just 'cos you don't want that for you Jimmy: 'Cause you just said you're 😇 Jimmy: gotta be evil, knobhead Janis: suspect Janis: why you being almost nice Janis: you wanna share the swag I found Jimmy: #duh Janis: depends Janis: you eat all the 🍪s Jimmy: I'm only one lad Jimmy: there's fucking 1000s Janis: part-timer Janis: yeti could do it in five minutes Jimmy: you're the 😳🐷 Jimmy: but challenge accepted Janis: why you trying to give me an eating disorder Janis: you've already tampered with one bitch's today, like Janis: is it your thing? Jimmy: Why ain't you already got one? Jimmy: looks like most of the lasses at school have Janis: No I don't Janis: I'm not an idiot Jimmy: Sounds like something a lass with an eating disorder would say but alright Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: I'm going for a 🚬 Jimmy: cover me Janis: sure Janis: diligent as Jimmy: or come with Jimmy: if you want Janis: depends Janis: you giving me a 🚬 to stay skinny Jimmy: No need Janis: make your mind up Jimmy: I've never said you're fat Janis: bullshit! 😂 Janis: at least try to keep up with what you're dishing out Jimmy: I can't keep up with what ain't there Janis: the pig emoji is straight-up still on my screen, boy Jimmy: 🧠 and 😳 Janis: 😏 sure Jimmy: don't come then, girl Janis: shut up Janis: I want one Jimmy: Who's the biggest dickhead? We'll go in their room for it Janis: 🤔 Janis: 11 Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: race you Janis: big mistake Jimmy: [obviously beats her but only because he was halfway there when he said they should race #sneaky] Jimmy: 💪🏆 Janis: [just fuming 😒] Jimmy: [😏 shamelessly and lounging on the bed of whoever the hell's room this is] Janis: ['cheater' and sitting on the floor] Jimmy: [throws a pillow at her like oi even though he is but also so she can sit on it if she want #softboy] Janis: [just looking at him like I don't want a pillow] Jimmy: ['reckoned you might need one after being such a sore loser' shrugs and throws some 🍬s from the stash he's pocketed her way instead] Janis: ['don't get sore that easy, boy' popping one in her mouth and throwing whatever spoils she found into the middle] Jimmy: [lighting up x2 first for her and then him and then lying on the bed and staring up at the ceiling, bit rude that you haven't looked at what she brought boy] Janis: [takes it but is just ashing it on the floor] Jimmy: [blowing smoke rings at this random kid's ceiling casually] Janis: [just on your phone like] Jimmy: [when you lowkey are trying not to fall asleep because blatantly on his phone all night to Bobby 'cause he was left with Ian] Janis: [allowing it 'cos no need to be that much of a dick, like] Jimmy: [accidentally doing that OTT dramatic jerking yourself awake thing after a bit, which there's no styling out] Janis: [lil 😏 'don't set the gaff alight, too far'] Jimmy: ['if that's where you draw the line, babe'] Janis: ['save the big stuff for the death pact end times'] Jimmy: [does a IRL 👍] Janis: ['he keep you up?'] Jimmy: [when you nod automatically but obviously who you mean isn't who she means but you can't then be like actually no] Janis: [shakes her head like dickhead but kinda fondly 'cos doesn't hate Ollie] Jimmy: [when he doesn't know they are related still so amused] Janis: [just looking like you have a crush lmao] Jimmy: [lighting another 🚬 you don't need immediately after you've put the 1st one out in this room cos you don't wanna leave] Janis: [hopping up onto the bed to look through the shit he found 'cos no rush to go back to cleaning or being with the rest either] Jimmy: [sneaky looking at her while she's looking at the things] Janis: [oh duh, she should have the holy grail in a backpack 'cos someone had to have some booze even if it's just cans or shitty alcohpops, get that out like now it's a #haul] Jimmy: [yasss get #day drunk kids, well not really because there wouldn't be enough but still, have at it] Janis: [just putting one on his chest like a bottle for a baby lmao] Jimmy: [a little lol] Janis: 💕🍺 Jimmy: 🍻 Janis: ['Slainte'] Jimmy: [downs the drink cos the only thing to do when its shit] Janis: [the same] Jimmy: [eating all those sweet treats and necking all that booze having a lovely time] Janis: [get some energy boo] Jimmy: [being #goals together on the low] Janis: [selfie moment] Jimmy: [as always going harder than you need to] Janis: [gotta make people think you used your time wisely] Jimmy: [voting for the first ever love bite to happen rn] Janis: fuckin' vampire Jimmy: subtlety ain't always the way to get top marks Janis: alright 🤓 Janis: but if I die in a freak hickey accident, like they write about to scare bitches, you have to pretend to be devastated at my funeral Jimmy: you'll live, dry your eyes and wipe your mouth, like Janis: you with the blood, dickwad Jimmy: you with the 🍫, baby Janis: 😑 Janis: [but has to check] Jimmy: told you Jimmy: it weren't a pisstake Janis: you are Jimmy: 💔 Janis: could've at least wiped it off for me Janis: make it work Jimmy: I know how much you ain't about being touched Jimmy: I am making it work Janis: don't be a pussy Janis: [points at the love bite like duh] Jimmy: [shamelessly touches it while giving her a look] Janis: [when you just have to be like not phased face 'cos competitive] Jimmy: [when you have to do another even better one as a result cos #same] Janis: [giving him an ear one 'cos gotta one up the situ otherwise why are you doing this boys, we know why] Jimmy: [when you're so into it you have to be like ow to hide how into it you are] Janis: [🙄 but checks it sneaky like] Jimmy: [🙄 back cos what else can he do] Janis: you'll live Jimmy: leave it out Janis: you said it first Jimmy: you were 😢 first Janis: you're louder Janis: how much more trouble are you gonna get me in? Jimmy: how much more trouble do you wanna be in? Janis: [a LOOK] Jimmy: [gotta return it of course] Janis: [need to hear people coming for the cockblock] Jimmy: [I was just about to say that] Janis: [better get outta this randos room sharpish] Jimmy: [when you can take her hand to run off cos you can play it off like in case someone sees us if she was like excuse you] Janis: [not gonna fight it though 'cos you can just say you were on the level] Jimmy: [we all know what's up] Janis: [are they going to her room or separate?] Jimmy: [good question, do you wanna do any afternoon awkwardness before that?] Janis: [we could do another lunch moment and see if we have any ideas] Jimmy: [I'm down to give them a fake coupley af lunch] Janis: [go cause a commotion honeys] Jimmy: [everyone would be so extra about their everything, I can't] Janis: [it'd be amusing af] Jimmy: [be a cliche and carry her food for her for a start boy] Janis: [sit at a table with like some people but only have eyes for each other, duh] Jimmy: [and they should whisper a lot cos it looks saucy but really they could be saying anything and are probably shading y'all] Janis: [deffo, as well as sharing food like you probably have the same shit on your plates there's 0 need] Jimmy: [#thosecouples at least they are being OTT on purpose like] Janis: [exactly, also everyone has peeped those love bites 'cos they were such a big deal when school like people would be wearing scarves like oh no don't look aha] Jimmy: [Grace about to stab herself with a fork, oh honey just wait til you get kicked out of your room later] Janis: [you gonna be heated and your friends are just gonna be at the door like 👂] Jimmy: [literally she is gonna angry cry and we all know it bitch] Janis: [you know there would've been convos this whole time, we should probably do that] Jimmy: [we totally can] Jimmy: [also he's totally slipping in some actual flirtiness with the whispers and we know it's not just to make her 😳 bye] Janis: [just angrily whispering back like imma fuck you up boy] Jimmy: [like she's not a white ginger where its gonna be that obvious nobody's checking you can calm down Jimothy, you're already also touching her way more than you need to for your own benefit] Janis: [gotta hit him with a footsie moment 'cos there's still nothing more obvious than when you're being faux subtle] Jimmy: [love that for them] Janis: [like you can't be too cray there are teachers in here lmao] Jimmy: [thank god, any actual PDA and Grace would die] Janis: [can have a moment on the way out to your activity try and stop 'em] Jimmy: [they want it as much as their audience does so sorry Mr Lucas you're outvoted, like] Janis: [when i went to camp mary and her mans were so extra at the end they got awarded camp's romeo and juliet so like as long as it keep pg 13 you're alright tbh and he loves it] Jimmy: [god bless] Janis: [okay trust falls and blindfold assault course moment for the afternoon] Jimmy: [lowkey having fun even though you're meant to be hating it] Janis: [when she'd be freaking out to him on the low like don't fucking drop me bitch 'cos trust issues but you gotta be #goals so he won't] Jimmy: [we know he'd piss about but it's actually fine, he can and will piggyback you in the future babe, he's got this] Jimmy: [#trustissuessquad because likewise would not enjoy that bit] Janis: [poor grace bouta die on the other hand, like courteney let ellie drop and she still doesn't trust her lmao] Janis: [good for tryna get attention like friends help me i'm hurt] Jimmy: [Grace would be living for that drama and also she gonna fuck that boy later so payback for you boy getting put in some vulnerable positions lol] ] Jimmy: [also she can cry off like oh I'm so injured so she don't have to watch the JJ show for a bit] Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: 🎻💔😭 Janis: sure there's a defrosting pack of peas going if you want the job Janis: not as popular as she'd like to believe Jimmy: You're alright Jimmy: and so's she Janis: never how I'd put it, but no shit on that point regardless Jimmy: hang on, just gonna @ my dad to prove that my little brother ain't the biggest cry baby going Jimmy: She's 🥇 and you're 🥈 Janis: funny Janis: when I have him over for dinner he can see for himself Jimmy: Funnier Janis: i know Janis: not your fault you're 🥉 Jimmy: Reckons the lass who can't do owt first go Janis: the boy who still reckons he knows anything about me when we've been over this Jimmy: You nearly took my 👂 off earlier but I've still got both 👀 mate Janis: if i knew we were aiming to maim, you wouldn't have Janis: still got a 👄 you chat 💩 out of too, unfortunately Jimmy: [when you're trying not to lol] Jimmy: lovely you Janis: [😏] Janis: it's been said Jimmy: I get it, you've got form with the maiming, loads of blind and deaf lads about now Jimmy: Tah for letting me off so light 💕 Janis: well it ain't real, so only fair Jimmy: now I know you're a lass who plays fair Janis: you'd have different bruises to prove otherwise Janis: join her on sick bay 🤕🥴 Jimmy: 😍🤤😍 Jimmy: You've gotta stop flirting with me, girl Janis: you'd know that too Janis: if I were Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: [throws a 🍬 at her in full view of the bitch he stole them off] Janis: [good thing you ain't concerned about making friends/can catch, just smiling at her like cheers babe] Janis: you feeling left out? Janis: you gotta make a girl 😢 now, yeah Jimmy: Gotta give myself a break from that 👄 of yours Janis: shh Janis: don't say that out loud Jimmy: don't screenshot me and the secret's safe Jimmy: or wait until I say something about exercising your jaw for later and then hit post Janis: 😂 Janis: grim Janis: and unlikely humblebrag Jimmy: There, made a lass cry laugh, that'll do Janis: Soph can consider herself safe Janis: and welcome I took the hit Jimmy: 😇 you Jimmy: I remember Janis: someone's gotta Janis: so unappreciated Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: Gimme a sec to find signal enough to tweet it Janis: gotta clue in all your fans that couldn't be here Jimmy: [does do some suitably cringey tweet of course] Janis: 😏 how you still expect to get laid after this holy show is beyond me Jimmy: I don't #duh Jimmy: transferring to that Catholic school as soon as, obviously Janis: they're the worst for it Janis: just say sorry afterward Jimmy: Everyone knows anal don't count, Judith Jimmy: do it for Jesus Janis: 'less it's with another lad, sodomite Jimmy: That'll be why Mr Lucas is my plan B Janis: yeah well, fight yer for him Jimmy: 💪🏆 Go on Janis: [just looking at him like really tho] Jimmy: [😏] Janis: [play fight moment] Jimmy: [so flirty, get a room you two, she should win though obvs because he cheated on that race earlier] Janis: time to get some 📿 Janis: 👋😘 Jimmy: You ain't getting shot of me that easy, babe Jimmy: Letting you win 'cause of how unappreciated you feel counts about as much as this counts as talking, like Janis: yeah right, whatever makes you feel better, loser Jimmy: Take your hollow victory 😘 Janis: I can beat you at anything Janis: any time, anywhere Jimmy: when it's #fakeforfake Janis: convenient for you, that Jimmy: nowt about this is Janis: 🎻 Janis: take your 👑 crybaby Jimmy: No tah, I'd have to touch your sister to get it Janis: she is a lot like that dragon in shrek Janis: fair Jimmy: 😂 Janis: she'll find the right donkey one day, I'm sure 💕 Jimmy: could save me a bit in 🚬 if she were blowing smoke about Janis: there's one pro Janis: you never talk so she could blather on as much as she likes Jimmy: I talk, just not to you Janis: and no one else here Janis: least of all her, so still counts, don't fight it Jimmy: I'd have to save all my strength to keep her off me Janis: you really saving yourself for marriage, yeah Jimmy: 👍 Janis: that's a con, damn Janis: really thought I could get rid of her once and for all Jimmy: don't pretend she ain't the 👰💍 type Janis: obvs, but a massive slag, no child of the lord there Janis: allegedly my fathers Jimmy: My ex was a massive slag an' all Jimmy: I'll make it work Janis: great Janis: get on it then Jimmy: 💕 Janis: if you could move again and take her with, that'd be perfect Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: No need to wait that long for your real happy ending then Jimmy: were a bit rude how you've been such a tease about the 💀💀 pact but alright Janis: you'll do yourself in after a few months, max Janis: hmu then Jimmy: as a 👻 Jimmy: least I won't have to touch you and you can't me Janis: weren't planning on it wanker but exactly Janis: everyone gets to win Janis: she's the 🕷⚰ type Janis: love an excuse to cry forever Jimmy: might get her with my dad instead Jimmy: move over mate Janis: and I'm the one who can't follow instructions? 😑 Janis: stick to the plan Jimmy: plans change Jimmy: leave the crying to her Janis: just don't understand why you won't die for me tbh Jimmy: Not as 🧠 as you made out, eh Juliet? 💔 proper tragedy that Janis: it's your fault, you don't stick to your word ever Janis: nothing to do with me Jimmy: Nowt to do with you is right Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: How long is this bollocks gonna go on? I don't need to know how to build a raft Jimmy: or give a fuck if the 🦊 has 🐔 for his tea Janis: how you planning to navigate that sea of 😭 then? Janis: more practical than a maths lesson at any rate Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: you're uninvited for a 🚬 Janis: fine, drama queen Jimmy: in a bit 🤓 Janis: just 'cos you can't keep up Jimmy: just 'cause you're working on commission Jimmy: hmu when you need art for your 'more practical than a maths lesson' poster Janis: that's your thing then Janis: makes sense Janis: had to be one of the two Jimmy: 👍 Janis: at least you won't be bringing out the acoustic around the firepit tonight Janis: small blessings Jimmy: only bring the 🎻🎻 me Janis: ha Janis: cute Jimmy: tweet it if you mean it, girl 💕 Janis: k, if you like Jimmy: I'll give it a like, yeah Janis: not even a retweet, cold Janis: do you want them to buy this or nah Jimmy: can't retweet my own praises Jimmy: wouldn't be #goals Janis: oh right, we're ignoring your giant head Janis: fair 'nuff Jimmy: Nobody likes a bighead, you should know, mate Janis: dunno what you mean Janis: everyone loves me Jimmy: 👌 Janis: you ain't being on my raft team, FYI Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: I know Janis: drown on your own time, I gotta win Jimmy: I'll already be in sick bay after how #savage that jab was Janis: almost as bad at faking it as her Jimmy: you being the only one that reckons so isn't gonna make me 😭 Janis: awh, but everything else does Jimmy: #whensheknowsyouproperwell 💕 Janis: it's true love 💕 Janis: as far as any of these idiots are aware Jimmy: 😍😍😍🤞😍😍 Janis: alright, this is boring now Janis: no one needs this health and safety bullshit Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: wouldn't have 💀💀💀d you to nod when I first said it Jimmy: 'Cause yeah, that'll be why I'm staying here 🚬 tah Janis: you wanna start agreeing on everything now Janis: not pretending we're married Jimmy: Tah again, this time for admitting I'm right about everything Jimmy: I was just talking about the once but alright Janis: you never said it was boring, technically Janis: and I never said that, get lost Jimmy: I might be lost 🤞 Janis: deep Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: geographically, dickhead Janis: how 😂 Jimmy: can't be lost if I know Janis: I mean, this place is not that big Janis: and signposted to fuck, where've you even gone, like Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: v helpful my dear Janis: soz I didn't put a chip in your neck whilst you were gnawing on mine Jimmy: It's alright, I know you can't do owt right, forget two things at once Janis: fuck off Janis: stay lost Jimmy: have done and will do Janis: 👍 Jimmy: haunt you later then Janis: not that long since lunch Janis: you'll survive until one of the teachers finds you Janis: 💔 Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: I'll pray for Mr Lucas obvs Jimmy: probably get Ms O'Brien Jimmy: actually 💔 Janis: you know he's already in the water Janis: if he could get away with speedos, he would, whereas her turtleneck could not be higher Janis: unlucky Jimmy: 👙 on him and 🥔 sack on her Jimmy: 🤤🤤🤤 Jimmy: be why you ain't coming to my rescue Janis: 😏 Janis: obviously Janis: fine, hang on Jimmy: it ain't actually in the contract Jimmy: don't bother about me Janis: whatever, won't be hard Janis: then I'll just go back to my room after, peace and quiet Janis: anyway, her still in the sick bay gives me a valid excuse, concerned sister I am Jimmy: text me when you want me to show up Janis: ha, alright Jimmy: least if she's concussed we won't have to put on as convincing a show Janis: one can hope 🤞 Janis: sadly there's fuck all to damage in her head so Jimmy: Sounding like she will be my dad's perfect match 💘 Janis: does that mean you'll start showing up for dinner and xmas Janis: not part of the deal Jimmy: 🙏 they'll rent a cottage together and leave me the fuck out of it Janis: can get behind that Jimmy: #forlifenotjustforchristmas Janis: make it happen @iantaylor8 Jimmy: 'cause that's such a dream come true, I'm going to sleep Jimmy: don't miss me too much Janis: ..outside? Jimmy: If I get eaten by some animal or owt you can have my 🚬s Janis: 💘 Janis: romance aside, at least you'll be easy to find if you're 😴 Jimmy: Keep my snoring off the socials tah Jimmy: not very #goals Janis: but you look so cute baby Jimmy: #duh Jimmy: look cute all the time Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: goodnight, Jenna Jimmy: 😘 Janis: sweet dreams, dickhead Jimmy: just said they were guaranteed Jimmy: can't stop being a 😇 you Janis: not yet 😈 Jimmy: @ everyone who missed my earlier tweet Janis: yeah don't make me sound boring Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt Janis: can agree on that Jimmy: if I wanted boring I'd have asked Ms O'Brien to fake date me Janis: 😏 Janis: she could be a secret freak Jimmy: doubt she's bitten any ears off though Janis: missing out? Jimmy: the benchmark has been set Janis: oh please Janis: you loved it Janis: got the job done, didn't it Jimmy: tonight will Janis: yeah Jimmy: Owt off limits? Janis: you love 🍑 stuff, I get it Janis: but nah, I don't care Jimmy: 👴 love me Jimmy: #soznotsoz Janis: if I pretend to be Mr Lucas, it kinda defeats what we're doing here Janis: soz Jimmy: It's alright, I'm more 👵💕 live out your what would Ms O'Brien do fantasies Jimmy: you started strong, like Janis: admitting I do know what I'm doing? Janis: about time Jimmy: Baby please Jimmy: you wish I would Janis: you wish I'd do the other side 👂 Jimmy: Yeah well fed up of this earring #newschoolnewme Janis: 😂 Janis: bye 😎 boy bye Jimmy: Tah for not having braces, you'd be dangerous Janis: if that's your thing you should deffo go catholic and start your religious training asap Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: and your thing is what, going from 🐷 to 🦈 after a few drinks? Janis: pigs have eaten far more humans than sharks ever have, for one, idiot Janis: and two, you only need to fake like you know exactly what I need Jimmy: sounds like fake news that Janis: your favourite word, that Jimmy: you don't need to know my fave word Jimmy: won't be on the test Janis: just the safe word, sure Jimmy: What's it gonna be? Trust fund's two Jimmy: Pony'll work Janis: great, you're a furry Janis: give me strength Jimmy: You don't need to know my kinks either Janis: stop being so obvious then Jimmy: It's obvious you're turned on by 💰 only trying to be accommodating until you secure Mr Lucas' teacher salary 💍💕 Janis: Obviously Janis: hit up some overworked and underpaid nurses whilst I'm at it Jimmy: Get that blood, vampire girl Janis: more fun making you bleed Jimmy: 😍🤤😍 Janis: yeah yeah Jimmy: save the enthusiasm for the #fans that want it Jimmy: I know how much fun I am Janis: I tweeted about you last Janis: it's your turn to tweet about me Janis: if you can pry your hand off your dick for one sec Jimmy: you were last 'cause I always go first Jimmy: pull your weight Janis: not my fault you're premature Janis: well, obvs is but you know Jimmy: If that's the rep you want, Joanne Jimmy: [posts something extra about missing her that's like really hot and a mood] Janis: you care about my rep as much as I do Janis: though that post didn't entirely suck Jimmy: careful, that almost sounded like a real compliment Jimmy: what kind of fake girlfriend would you be Janis: never Janis: [can find him 'cos you know, has to at some point] Jimmy: I get it, you need the IRL inspo of seeing me now it's your turn again Janis: [😑 but sits down with and has to get close to match the mood of his post to take a #reunited pic] Janis: needs must Jimmy: Fake like you know what come here means and do it properly Jimmy: [When you shamelessly just wanna be more extra] Janis: [defs first lap sitting moment needed like don't test me boy] Janis: there Jimmy: [yassss having such a moment bye] Jimmy: and you reckon I need to be a better trainer Janis: stop comparing me to fucking farmyard animals and dogs Janis: [angry face right in his 'cos you ain't moved] Jimmy: Alright, Juliet next post I'll compare you to a summer's day Janis: hilarious Jimmy: necessary if you're gonna keep making that face Jimmy: can't have it sticking Janis: [makes a face like give a fuck] Jimmy: [😏 because she obvs does or why are they doing this ha] Janis: you're so smug Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt babe Janis: unduly Jimmy: How would you know? Janis: [gestures at him like it's obvious] Jimmy: [shrugs because again being a smug dickhead like you don't know me bye] Janis: [pushes on his chest to get up off him] Jimmy: [offers her a 🚬] Janis: [takes it and starts walking but looks back like] Janis: follow me to civilization Jimmy: Why? Janis: because you're lost Janis: and you could be inside right now, undisturbed, for at least another 45 minutes yet Jimmy: Do the maths on that, did you? Jimmy: not sure if I can trust a #hater Janis: oh my god Jimmy: What? Janis: would it 💀💀💀 you to just come Jimmy: Are you trying to? Janis: what are you talking about now Jimmy: Gonna lure me to my death or not? Janis: tempting as you make it Janis: we have 2 of those shit drinks left Janis: unless there's something better we can do out here Jimmy: Help me up then Janis: 👴 Janis: [but does] Jimmy: Oi, you were sitting on me so long I've got a 💀 leg Janis: if that's how shit your stamina is how we gonna fake fuck convincingly Janis: sort it out Jimmy: you ate half my lunch, sort that out Janis: you didn't need it, skiver Janis: only using your voice, I had to actually do the course Jimmy: I had to keep you alive Jimmy: not as hard as your sister makes it look but still a challenge when you Janis: piss off Janis: I could've done that shit alone Jimmy: bollocks Janis: so could Jimmy: go on then, we'll recreate it Janis: [closes her eyes and struts for a bit like see] Jimmy: fuck that we're going to the course Janis: alright Janis: come on then Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [we know the drill, when you're being slow af so he's like do it properly and then you go faster and fall, not actually doing any damage but] Jimmy: [shamelessly helping her up even though she don't need it and being actually worried until you can see she's not hurt] Janis: thanks a lot Jimmy: didn't push you over Janis: [when you start to hobble away for the drama of it all] Jimmy: stop, dickhead Janis: [looking like, what?] Jimmy: [goes and helps her obvs] Janis: I could've done it Janis: you were rushing me Jimmy: Yeah, I were Jimmy: on the ⏲ Jimmy: you said 45 mins uninterrupted Janis: you challenged me Janis: we could've just gone inside Jimmy: you challenged you Jimmy: admit you need me Janis: excuse me Jimmy: you heard Janis: I heard some dumb shit Jimmy: [walks away but not far just to make the point cos she was leaning on him then] Janis: [😑] Janis: stop being a twat Jimmy: you Janis: you Janis: immature Jimmy: I'm a lad, we do it slower Janis: no excuse for acting like a kid is it Janis: [is less 😑 though] Jimmy: What's yours, I'll borrow that Janis: I'm injured, bastard Jimmy: You've been a knobhead since before I got here Janis: and how the fuck would you know thay Jimmy: I've heard some dumb shit an' all Jimmy: I told you, I ain't that new Janis: Exactly Janis: how would you know Janis: [walks off faster now, with as little hobbling as poss.] Jimmy: [stops her so he can try and help her again because not that rude] Janis: I don't need your help Jimmy: I don't need to offer but I am Janis: I'm meant to be grateful, yeah? Janis: do one Jimmy: [shakes his head because no and no and is helping her whether she likes it or not] Janis: fine, white knight 'til we're back but then leave me alone Jimmy: [picks her up cos that's permission right there, if you say so boy #problematic and sure if anyone sees them it'll look #goals] Janis: [when you ain't speaking so you don't say no] Jimmy: [casual walk back in silence, obvs he gently puts her on her bed and leaves] Jimmy: [definitely takes a bottle out of the two that are left cos his share even though it's not gonna do fuck all] Janis: [when you're definitely like cheek but not gonna break your vow of silence to argue about that like] Jimmy: [okay so my idea is, he shows up later, knocking on the door which Grace answers so he knows she's there cos this is only gonna work if she was and sweeps in full of apologies like I'm so sorry you got hurt cos of me babe etc (which would kill Grace cos that boy ain't sorry and that's the tea) but critically there is some real sorry if there hidden for him being an actual dickhead, like. Even though we can pretend it's for Grace's benefit everything he's saying and why she has to accept and get back on this fake train] Janis: [good thinking my nugget] Jimmy: [he ain't that good of an actor and anyway he'd make sure she can see he's actually sorry too] Janis: [lbr she's too closed off to want to talk about it so she's gonna take it for what it is, even if this puts them back 10 paces, that's the vibe always] Jimmy: [gotta throw yourself fully into this pantomime so it don't get too real kids, really milking that injury and his nurse role] Janis: [truly, give them an oscar] Jimmy: [nobody give Grace one, cos we all see you] Janis: [when her friends are probably low-key over nursing her now like quit before they bitching to mia about you gurl] Jimmy: [literally that though, she'd have to have given it up which makes it ruder that Jimothy then shows up to do it for Janis] Janis: [oh this poor boy she's gonna be feeling murderous at now] Jimmy: [plus you know Jimmy would be being so hot about everything like 'oh does this hurt, what about this' as a shameless reason to touch up her entire leg] Janis: [just umming and ahhing like you're not sure so he has to keep doing it lmao okay] Jimmy: [Grace's friends just 👀🍿 while they're doing their make up or whatever] Janis: [welcome for tonight's entertainment ladies, be sure to tell the whole world, being that bitch by asking him to get you something like water and then being like 'don't go' 'cos they'd love that] Jimmy: [he should totally get his hoodie for her too which she still has #duh and put it on for her like she's an actual invalid] Janis: [get on the invaleed couch honey] Jimmy: [please say she's wearing the pjs rn for that throwback and mood] Janis: [of course, 'cos bitch actually does the activities so her clothes would be muddy, as if you weren't jello enough ladies like put that perf body away] Jimmy: [this is why as much as Grace wants to share a room she also doesn't because be more beautiful Janis goddamn] Janis: [cuts her hair off in her sleep or smothers her with a pillow] Jimmy: [also he should be ignoring his phone going off (we know its because fuck you Ian) because what would be more goals to Grace and her friends than full attention] Janis: [100%, though she should pick it up (when it ain't ringing like lol) and just go on it 'cos trust with the passcode too omg] Jimmy: [and bonus points that it adds to his new boy mystery like why is he so in demand] Janis: [god bless, when you'd be trying so hard not to lol at them at so many points] Jimmy: [literally do give them an oscar cos I could not] Janis: [kick it up a notch by being like 'you know what would make me feel better' 'cos it's a power move when the girl says it, nick from the act] Jimmy: [yaaaaaaaaas] Janis: [like we said though, actually have to make out 'cos no faking that part] Jimmy: [good thing they've got real chemistry] Jimmy: [just a really epic make out sesh for everyone to enjoy and Grace is like NOPE g2g] Janis: [facetimeing mia rn 'cos they think you too busy to notice and lbr, a bitch would screen record she creepy lmao] Jimmy: [Grace just stomping around fuming getting ready really quick by her standards meanwhile this is the hardest JJ have had to go, don't think about it] Janis: [oh babe you know they ain't gonna stop, meanwhile janis just freaking 'cos she ain't ever been arsed before and it feels good so whoops] Jimmy: [literally no acting going on from him here he's just fully into it cos no need to hold back unlike with the lovebite situ when you can pretend its all for that lot, any sounds you make or things you do] Jimmy: [taking that hoodie off her again like] Janis: [when an audience means you can do more, what is this time period, god bless] Jimmy: [it's my fave for a reason cos who else would even do this never mind take it this far] Janis: [just going for the other ear like she said she would] Jimmy: [at least he doesn't have to act like he's not into it/she's bad at it this time cos barely got away with that the first time] Janis: [there's no hiding it rn, deny it later lads] Jimmy: [that said he'd still have to whisper some kind of pisstake in her ear about it just so she can't be too smug later] Janis: [naturally, can't be too real with it] Jimmy: [loses some of the sass when you're breathless as hell trying to say it though so] Janis: [so you just 😏 now like heh] Jimmy: [just gotta pull her hair so you can pull her into you and a kiss to wipe that smugness off her face like nbd so casual rn] Janis: [when that kiss would be so aggressive bye] Jimmy: [it makes me die because Grace would NEVER let anyone touch her hair, not even the fam and especially not a boy it's like her number 1 THING so she can see that and it can be her cue to slam that door and go honey] Janis: [you should probably leave shameless friends like there's no reason for you to be in here now lmao] Jimmy: [them just hurrying off after her so gutted they gotta leave meanwhile JJ are gonna be gutted that they have to stop] Janis: [soz lads, purely for your audience, remember, at least he can't leave 'cos that'd look so rude like bye we done] Jimmy: [and you know her friends would be loitering lowkey cos Grace is in no mood to be followed and would sister snap so there's the excuse they don't need] Janis: [exactly, you gotta stick it out 'til a teacher finds you and kicks you out tbh] Jimmy: [Jimmy just aggressively drinking that water he got for her #thirstybitch so he don't have to look at her or say anything] Jimmy: [lowkey shady sir like lemme get the taste of you out of my mouth] Janis: [when you get up to look in the mirror like you're remotely arsed what you look like but really you're just assessing love bite damage] Jimmy: [pissing about with the bed once she's off it unscrewing something or whatever so they can pretend they broke it] Janis: [does the 'not bad' face] Jimmy: [shrugs and goes on his phone to check in with both Bobby and Cass] Janis: [wrapping her ankle with some tape she'd probably have brought 'cos sporty bitch not 'cos it's needed but for the look of] Jimmy: [does the face back at her cos good idea and gestures for her to go to the door and listen if Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum are being that extra or if they've gone] Janis: [hops over, again not 'cos she needs too but #bants and has a serious listening face on] Jimmy: [tries not to lol for what must be the millionth time honestly] Janis: [gestures for him to come over and nods like they're there but I have a plan] Jimmy: [comes over of course] Janis: [pushes him into the door and starts faking noises like you do the same keep up 'cos that'll shake them to their core but also show 'em that they're still going at it, like] Jimmy: [does as he's told this once] Janis: [least they wouldn't have to do that long 'cos they'd bolt because could not not lol out loud at that] Jimmy: [goes through Grace's drawers, finds her condom stash, opens one and ditches it but leaves the wrapper when it can obvs be seen at the top of the bin] Janis: [when you make a face that's like ew but fair] Jimmy: [🙄 but playfully cos not like you're living for this bit either] Janis: ['could've just pulled out, amateur' but whispering 'cos don't wanna be too loud unless for the right reasons yet] Jimmy: that the fave 🍀 method then? Janis: pretty much Jimmy: bit soon for a fake pregnancy scare Jimmy: and I obvs couldn't 'cause I want you so much 💕 Janis: obvs Janis: c'est la vie, just wanted the trip to Liverpool, like Jimmy: how many of these shall I do? Jimmy: [gestures to the wrapper like] Jimmy: don't wanna have to throw your sister on a ferry or under a bus Janis: [goes over to look how many there are and chucks out two more, opening one] Janis: she'd be buzzin' Janis: know she's the type Jimmy: My ex has got one she's bound to be regretting by now if she's that desperate, like Janis: [looks at the condom then him then down like awks] Jimmy: Piss off, it ain't mine Janis: [when you literally breathe out like phew] Janis: Jesus, lead with that Jimmy: [throws whatever stuffed toy Grace still sleeps with at her] Janis: [clutches the bear to her chest like 😲 faux outrage] Janis: how dare you treat Tuffie like that Jimmy: 💔🎻💔 Jimmy: be our secret, yeah? Janis: good thing you ain't a dad Janis: [throws the thing at him] Jimmy: raising two kids, only not with her Jimmy: [throws it back] Janis: [just playing catch at this point, obvs doesn't think he's got two kids like that so is like okay] Janis: explains why you're so knackered Janis: that and all the wild fake sex Jimmy: that'll do it Jimmy: [sits on Grace's bed and starts doodling on the back of his hand with her eyebrow pencil or whatever] Janis: those things are like 20 quid a pop Janis: [is clearly amused by this not mad, goes over to the window to open it and get some air] Jimmy: better start paying me then Jimmy: [does the good idea face again though cos letting that non existent sex smell out] Janis: you weren't fake that good and I'm not fake that desperate Jimmy: [😏 cos yeah he was] Janis: [kicks her bed so he wobbles] Jimmy: [is like OI cos of course his doodle smudges cos he's left handed anyway] Janis: [shrugs like you know what you did but goes over to the mirror where the makeup has been left, finds him the wipes and gets a lipstick and puts it on] Jimmy: [shrugs back cos not actually bothered also actually ambidextrous anyway so you choose to use that hand boy and we all see you shamelessly looking at her as well] Janis: ['hold still' and then covering his face/neck area with lipstick kisses quickly then smudging them with her fingers so they're faded] Janis: evidence Jimmy: you weren't wearing it before Jimmy: don't say much for me if you stopped mid go to put it on Janis: weren't my face they were looking at, new boy Janis: 😍 Janis: trust Jimmy: when it was attached to mine they were Janis: it's only a nude, not fuck off red Janis: wipe it off if you reckon though Jimmy: not my area of expertise tbh mate Janis: 🙄 Janis: then hush Jimmy: til you want me to get loud again sure Janis: they shouldn't come back now Janis: hopefully they have some life, like Janis: unlikely though it seems Jimmy: What about Grace? Meant to sleep here Janis: I'm hoping she's Ophelia'd herself in the lake Janis: probably go in with them now, idk Jimmy: If she's beat us to the 💀 pact, I'm 💔 Janis: gotta get the attention back somehow Jimmy: 🤞 Jimmy: [leans out of the open window to 🚬 cos can't leave yet] Janis: purely post-coital, obviously Jimmy: you should have one an' all then Janis: [puts fingers up like 'three' but smiles like jk] Janis: go on then Jimmy: [obviously lights her up cos a princess can never fuck opening your own doors @ nick in the act this is the real #goals] Janis: [cheers motion, also it's clearly a small window/small room in general so they'd have to be close rn] Jimmy: [my thoughts exactly, so much of your bodies touching casually] Janis: [when you'd be so aware of it after dry humping each other for however long there] Jimmy: [literally though and she did not have many clothes on at all so] Janis: [still don't rn like hi] Jimmy: [when you remember because you're brushing up against so much of her bare skin so you fetch the hoodie again like a dutiful bf even though nobody's watching] Jimmy: [making her hold your 🚬 while you get it] Janis: [puts it on 'cos lbr you both need another layer between you rn] Jimmy: [lifts her hair out of it for her unthinkingly, how intimate excuse you boy] Janis: [just freezes casually like] Jimmy: [when you just take a step back like] Janis: [just goes and sits on Grace's bed to finish it 'cos whaddya care tbh so unphased by all of this] Jimmy: [he'll be here unmoving like musical statues nbd] Janis: [on her phone seeing if any of the goss has ended up there yet 'cos invariably will, sends him a gossipy ass post with '😂 #missionaccomplished?' Jimmy: 👍 Janis: guess you can go now then Janis: do you reckon Jimmy: [his phone is going off again too but it's just the fam so ignoring for rn] Jimmy: Alright Janis: unless you wanna try to sleep Janis: clearly the teachers are too pissed to be clued in right now Jimmy: [fixes her bed and lies on it] Jimmy: remind me to break it again Janis: will do Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: [closes his eyes but nobody falls asleep that fast and we all know it] Janis: [quietly like 'night' and turning the big light off and putting on a lamp by the bottom bunk as if this is such a casual situation] Janis: don't freak if I have to hop up there if Grace comes back, yeah Jimmy: [when the pillow obvs smells like her cos its hers and you're just lying there like mistakes have been made before the thought of having to lie with her has even crossed your mind] Jimmy: even if I do, I'll fake I ain't Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: that's the spirit Jimmy: 👻 me Janis: [little lol] Janis: lucky for you casper, I don't sleep, so she won't reckon you've kicked me out my own bed or nothing Jimmy: I know you're a vampire already, don't need to convince me, girl Janis: no neck biting Janis: scout's honour Jimmy: Saving it for the bus back, I get it, why wouldn't you? Janis: my parting gift to you, babe Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: well romantic that is Janis: ain't it just Janis: beats whatever the shit giftshop has got on offer Jimmy: So cute you Janis: bullshit am I Jimmy: I'll steal you a pen or fridge magnet, make you believe me Janis: 🧸 obviously needs a friend Janis: cute enough for ya Jimmy: Depends Janis: on? Jimmy: 🐷 🦈 or 🐴? Janis: 😑 Janis: really Jimmy: alright 🧸 if you wanna twin with Grace that bad Janis: fuck off or I'm breaking the bed whilst you're still in it Jimmy: just don't kick it Jimmy: might get more than fake injured Janis: thanks for the fake concern Jimmy: hot as that bandage is, like Janis: vampire, not a mummy, got it Janis: fucking halloween up in here Jimmy: what you wanna be the easter bunny or? Janis: that's the cliche hot option, ain't it Jimmy: give us some 🍫 then Jimmy: she must have it hidden somewhere Janis: you just lay there whilst I look, your highness Janis: [but is] Jimmy: could've asked you to make me a sandwich Janis: you want me to smack you that badly, just ask Janis: [finds some 'cos obvs knows her and throws it up] Jimmy: 🤤😍 etc Janis: I felt that, so convincing Jimmy: I know you can feel every bruise, babe Jimmy: that job's done with Janis: thank god Janis: 😷 Jimmy: 💔 etc Janis: go to sleep, dickhead Jimmy: [as if on cue Bobby's blowing his phone up cos can't] Janis: can get that, like Janis: got 🎧 and not bothered what you're chatting about Janis: sounds important Jimmy: I'm tired Jimmy: [but obvs does because has to] Janis: 👍 Jimmy: [casually the longest convo ever, poor bab] Janis: [doesn't listen 'cos ain't that bitch but does take 'em off for a sec to see if he's done but is like oh when he ain't] Jimmy: [why you gotta be so shit Ian it was your idea he went] Janis: [when you can't get your own kid to sleep like] Jimmy: [when you don't try cos you're the shut the door on him type aka my mum lol] Janis: [goes out for a wee, get a drink etc so he doesn't feel rushed or like she would be listening] Jimmy: [when you're done but then can't sleep cos mad at your dad so 🚬 at the window again] Janis: [has brought him a drink too so when she sees he's up puts it on the window sill for him but doesn't speak 'cos can read the room well enough] Jimmy: [staring out the window furiously excuse him] Janis: [a look she knows personally so not going to be up in his face, just gets back on Grace's bed] Jimmy: let's go Janis: okay Janis: anywhere, yeah? Jimmy: [downs the drink she brought him to show it's appreciated thank you bae] Jimmy: Teacher's block first, that's the real holy show Janis: [raises her eyebrows like what you got planned but nods 'cos regardless, swapping her shorts for joggers before they go like] Jimmy: were gonna say put some clothes on Jimmy: don't tell anyone though Janis: [mimes zipping her lips] Jimmy: so many secrets, I know Jimmy: [touches the OG lovebite] Janis: [opens the door with a flourish like lead the way 'cos can't dwell on that/make it a moment] Jimmy: [walks through but then remembers what she said about halloween and runs back to take all the toilet paper he can find like a little nerd] Janis: [😏 wid it, helps] Jimmy: 🎃🧛👻 Janis: [a bit of lowkey mindless vandalism will help take your mind off it] Janis: 💀💀💀 Jimmy: 🤞 🐰 girl Jimmy: [that and spying on the teachers in general would be fun for that hot goss] Janis: I won't hop, if it's all the same to you Janis: [deffo, we know they're schwasted] Jimmy: what kind of fake injury Jimmy: you gotta commit, Jules Janis: the idea is, no one sees us Janis: if we get caught I'll fall dramatically into your arms, yeah Jimmy: No need Jimmy: [picks her up like he did earlier but with a very different vibe we know] Janis: ['this is committing, yeah'] Jimmy: [a look] Janis: [looking back like half challenge half like what's up before tapping his back like let's go] Jimmy: [boy we get that you wanna be distracted by her specifically in a specific way but please calm down] Janis: [can't let you do that yet lads] Jimmy: [on you go to annoy the teachers and spy] Janis: [at least that'd be amusing af] Jimmy: [before they go back they should see Grace leaving that lad's room but obvs she don't see them] Janis: [😒] Jimmy: [gives her a ? look cos maybe he was focused on teacher drama still] Janis: [shakes her head and starts walking not in the direction of the rooms] Janis: got any 🚬 left Jimmy: [obvs does and obvs lights one for her and then himself] Janis: [heading outside and to a bench to smoke in silence] Jimmy: [sits near but not close] Janis: ['just gutted we didn't learn O'Brien's a dark horse, like'] Jimmy: ['she ain't no lightweight, next time'll be the one, heard it's France'] Janis: ['next time then'] Jimmy: ['it's a date'] Janis: ['ain't gonna be dead by then?'] Jimmy: ['Depends'] Janis: [nods like I feel you] Jimmy: ['Taking that as your personal guarantee the poison you got is stronger than the shit they're drinking, don't let me down, rich girl'] Janis: ['it's lethal, trust me' and a look] Jimmy: [nods like good] Janis: ['you should go in, get some sleep at last'] Jimmy: [nods again but doesn't move] Janis: ['want me to return the favour and carry you?'] Jimmy: [😏 'on that proper dodgy ankle, no way baby' and playfully nudges it with his own foot 'sleep on the bus with you as my pillow, tah'] Janis: [shakes her head but is 😏 back 'well soz my tits aren't bigger then'] Jimmy: ['me an' all, would make this shit easier to fake'] Janis: ['you're such a cunt'] Jimmy: [gives her a well I'm soz about that then sarcastic look] Janis: [kicks him but not hard as she gets up 'later then'] Jimmy: [is all oi as per but not really ever mad] Janis: [shrugs like what you gonna do about it and goes off in the direction of a trail to do a casual run at whatever late o'clock this is] Jimmy: proper miss you already 💕 Janis: beam it into the night sky, batman Janis: I already know Jimmy: hang on, trying to do a 😳🐷 Jimmy: you see it yet? Janis: you're meant to be an artist Janis: sort it out Jimmy: never said I were Janis: you did Jimmy: that were you Jimmy: I reckoned I could sort you a poster Jimmy: so could my little brother Janis: good enough Janis: get to work Jimmy: very inspiring you Janis: soz I don't look more like a pig Janis: you who keeps on saying it Jimmy: it's you who keeps going pink Jimmy: soz I didn't have a hoodie in that colour Janis: erm not even once Jimmy: 👌 Janis: 😑 Jimmy: You coming to bed or what? Janis: I can't be in the same room as her right now Jimmy: be in mine then Janis: alright Janis: cheers Jimmy: Alright, come on Janis: just gotta circle back Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: such an athlete, I know Janis: I never said that either Janis: but yeah, I won't deny it Jimmy: Don't have to, still got my 👀 Jimmy: not fully closed or owt yet Janis: Impressive Jimmy: can't deny it Janis: 🙄 Janis: [showing up 'cos wouldn't have got too far] Jimmy: [just quietly like 'hey'] Janis: [lil awkward laugh like 'alright'] Jimmy: [and it's back to walking in silence] Janis: [when you don't know if he's giving you his bed or you're about to get in together so you're mentally preparing yourself for either] Jimmy: [when you know you're gonna share (can blame Ollie's presence but we know the truth and that he's sleeping) so preparing yourself for that since you didn't think it through before you said it] Janis: [styling it out like you're way more confident than you are 'cos can be part of the act, hence she'd take her joggers and the hoodie off casually 'cos wouldn't sleep that clothed but waits for him to get in first like your bed] Jimmy: [we all see you taking your top off boy even though there's no need] Janis: [👀 when you looking but try to be subtle please] Jimmy: [she's earned that right tbh he's seen and touched so much of her by now] Janis: [fair] Jimmy: [in you get kids for your single bed forced closeness] Janis: [get used to it tbh, at least he's clearly tired af so can at least pretend he's sleeping even if he ain't] Jimmy: [they are both too tall for this to be comfy you'd literally have to be all over each other] Janis: [again, no denying you're into it, just have to stay quiet if you wanna pretend lads] Jimmy: [the realest] Jimmy: [and don't move too much, don't need to get betrayed by your boy parts there Jimothy] Janis: [as amusing as that would be for us, don't need you to die of shame] Jimmy: [🐘 in the room now and definitely earlier because there is no way you could do all that shit and not] Janis: [she'd be like, don't take it personally, that shit just happens but it doesn't just happen if you're not into it at all, like] Jimmy: [mhmm as much as his internal monologue be like well I can't help that we all know if it was Grace or whoever you wouldn't be feeling it so bye] Janis: [#tea] Jimmy: [if it was Mia it'd go back inside his body] Janis: [lmao you wouldn't know she was in the bed with you tbh] Jimmy: [don't ever wanna think about her hooking up with anyone my god] Janis: [amazing it happens so much] Jimmy: [just gonna think about JJ having a spoon instead thank you] Janis: [indeed, much nicer] Jimmy: [at least he is tired enough to fall asleep eventually because that'd feel like the longest night ever if not] Janis: [let her have some too or rude for likewise] Jimmy: [pray you don't dream about earlier either of you] Janis: [hope neither of you sleep talk] Jimmy: [can't be that cruel omg] Janis: [awks when ollie wakes up like hi] Jimmy: [you gotta run girl, really hit him in those abandonment issues when wakes up] Janis: [see you on the bus] Jimmy: [#awks] Janis: [gotta sit next to each other though, at least faking it for the fans will break the ice] Jimmy: [least there's only so much coupleyness you can do there if you're not making out, no need to go as hard] Janis: [mainly the aforementioned snuggling] Jimmy: [first time he ever plays with her hair in a soft way which will forever be his future fave] Janis: [just imagined grace from her seat like 😒] Jimmy: [honestly, probably crying on the low because contrary to popular belief she is capable of subtlety when needed to protect herself like that] Janis: [but we must know, did he go to the giftshop] Jimmy: [he had to steal her a teddy of some sort or I swear to god] Janis: [she can take a selfie with that then] Jimmy: [probably the kind of crap sort that have a t-shirt on of the place but he didn't spend money on it so] Janis: [it's the #brag that counts, they'd be jel] Jimmy: [exactly and it's points for him with her cos he stole it like he said he would and didn't get caught or anything cringe] Janis: [exactly dr phil dem sneaky feels] Jimmy: [and the reminder of this trip when she thinks its all she's gonna get] Janis: [lmao what a headfuck like you're just gonna pretend you don't know each other now okay lads] Jimmy: [in what world also everyone would be like UM what] Jimmy: [I love how they haven't discussed it once] Janis: [ridiculous] Jimmy: [it's the best thing likewise how nobody's gonna think she's gay after those bedroom antics so there's no reason for her to agree to anymore but she do] Janis: [be more blatant with your flimsy reasoning guys] Jimmy: [you silly eggs] Janis: thank fuck it's the holidays Jimmy: 🙌 Janis: 💃 Jimmy: 🍾 Janis: 👙🕶 Jimmy: 😎 forever obvs but 🎊 that you can't take the piss about it Janis: every ☁ Jimmy: ⛅ Janis: just remember to sign off with a post about how you'll miss me though Jimmy: it's drafted Janis: 🤓 Jimmy: 🥇 Jimmy: I get it, your 👅 is tied around me, babe Jimmy: lemme write it for you Janis: trust falls were yesterday Janis: what are you actually gonna write Jimmy: refresh my feed in a bit Jimmy: it'll be there Janis: shifty Jimmy: I ain't forgot how easily you scare Jimmy: it'll be alright Janis: piss off Jimmy: yeah, in a bit Jimmy: hang on in there Janis: do my best Janis: feel 💀 approaching though Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: bit rude Jimmy: bit rude to outlive me when we made a pact Janis: I'm more of a shootout with the law kinda girl Janis: what can I say Jimmy: nowt 'cause you should've said before Janis: don't remember signing nothing Janis: in blood or otherwise Jimmy: 💀💌 got a massive J scrawled on it, my dear Janis: [😏] Janis: fine Janis: see you at the funeral, beloved Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: Your sister keeps staring at me Jimmy: hang on Jimmy: [such a GOOD long kiss that's no less intense than any of their others but softer and therefore easier for him to say is 1000% fake cos she don't know what a #softboy he is yet] Janis: [you know the bus would wheyyy 'cos nowhere to hide so even if you're caught off guard you've gotta play into it yeah] Janis: surprised she can see fuck all Janis: 😭 Jimmy: thought you were gonna say you blinded her Jimmy: save all your maiming for me, eh 💕 Janis: 'course Janis: doesn't get that biblical Janis: my brother's deaf but that's fuck all to do with me alright Jimmy: sounds fake but alright Jimmy: [😏] Janis: ['wipes it off his face with her hands then cups his chin you know what I mean ott cutesy] Janis: rude Jimmy: [giving her those OTT 😍 so fake mhmm] Jimmy: Teach me some sign language then Janis: [says something along the lines of 'I'm gonna maim you' I hope Grace isn't looking that hard, just like excuse me, teaching him swear obvs 'cos first thing anyone does lol] Jimmy: [just having a lovely time learning and loling its fine Grace will be blinded by her tears after that cute kiss] Janis: [when you forget you're putting on a show but this is a mood anyway so it's fine] Jimmy: [literally though, love that for them] Janis: [even the teachers can't be mad 'cos you know they'd be like ooh they know sign language teach everyone 'cos it looks good on them] Jimmy: [Grace is the only one fuming honey, texting Mia like] Janis: [that snek, just gonna keep that 'i fucked your brother' 'til it really hurts] Jimmy: [she's the literal worst and Pablo is too hot for you, girl] Janis: [what a time] Jimmy: [is there anything else we want to happen, besides a dramatic hug goodbye at the end obvs] Janis: [and taking off his hoodie to give back] Jimmy: [but he's like no, boy don't be giving your clothes away she's richer than you] Janis: cute bit Janis: I'll drop it off somewhere covert, like Jimmy: You'll have stretched it Janis: please Janis: you stupid Jimmy: Take the closest thing to a tit compliment you're getting off me and leave it out Janis: 🙄 Janis: you're alright, thanks Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: make sure you tweet that out 💕 so sweet to me, you Janis: you said you drafted it Janis: ugh Jimmy: My bit, yeah Jimmy: [but also sends out that pic she took of herself in the hoodie way back when remember with a post about how he's letting her keep it cos it looks better on her etc] Jimmy: that ain't it though Janis: guess I'll have to put my thinking cap on Jimmy: if you can find one to fit your big head once all the comments, likes and DMs flood in] Janis: nope, I'll take this fame and run with it Janis: all I ever wanted, obvs Jimmy: #duh Jimmy: 🥇🏆💪 you Jimmy: 🤩 me Janis: you'll always be my no.1 fan, babe Janis: 😘 Jimmy: Babe OMG 😭💕😘 Janis: I know, so sweet Janis: 😇 you might say Jimmy: You would Jimmy: I'd go 😈 Jimmy: [a LOOK] Janis: You really want one last 😳 for the road, yeah? Jimmy: You'll always be my 😳🐷, girl Janis: Wow 😭💕😘 Jimmy: I know, Shakespeare's #quaking Janis: yeah, well known pussy destroyer, old bill Jimmy: [laughs] Janis: [😏] Jimmy: [showing her how extra everyone is being on that post obvs] Janis: [between an eyeroll and vaguely smug 'cos it's worked but people are cray] Jimmy: [gives her his phone so she can do replies if she wants, enjoy seeing that trust again peeps] Janis: [when you get to be a funny bitch, hands him hers like there's Mia say hi] Jimmy: [obvs does and it would obvs also be hilarious, he'd probably literally facetime her rn like oh hey cos doesn't give a fuck] Janis: [don't get feeling special, babe] Jimmy: [when he's a better mean girl than Mia bye] Janis: [cackling] Jimmy: [If you weren't into him before Janis, you will be now] Janis: she's such a cunt Janis: wish I coulda seen her tryna haul ass up a rock wall though Jimmy: we can 💀💀 her when we get back Jimmy: I'll put my thinking cap on Janis: could blow on her and she'd go tbh Janis: that was ON, btw, don't get ideas Jimmy: I did read it as let her blow me Jimmy: not that ride or die for you, mate Janis: her teeth are probs false so it'd be a good time Janis: 👵 Jimmy: Alright, I'm in Jimmy: [sends a pic of Norman Bates' dead mum in the OG psycho you know the one] Jimmy: Just my type that Janis: why stop at a beej Janis: dress her up and take her for a spin 'round your room, like Jimmy: It's a date Janis: that's why you 😎 huh Janis: psycho eyes Janis: no faking emotion Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: don't forget my crows feet Jimmy: It's alright though I reckon I look decent for 45 Janis: too cocky for a predator, honestly Janis: 🙄 Janis: got the receipts and everything, boy Janis: man, whatever Jimmy: If you hear sirens, they're for me Jimmy: Calm Mr Lucas down however you like Janis: awh, you wanted to start a ⚪ Janis: that's cute Jimmy: still time or? Janis: he's only got 👀 for me and it's very fucking rude to suggest otherwise Jimmy: Is that what he told you? #awks Janis: shut up Janis: shit stirrer Jimmy: I'm not talking Janis: tryna break me and my mans up Janis: got a taste for it, like Janis: fuck 👻 boy, you're a monster Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: holiday flings been fun and all but he's dependable Janis: penciled in every Wednesday, last period, like Janis: 😍😍😍 #getyouamans Jimmy: the point were I don't want one Jimmy: 🙏 only Janis: the ultimate Man Janis: I get it Janis: 😇 repent, bitch Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: soon be time to be a 😈 and 💔 me Janis: that's the storyline, yeah? Jimmy: Got a better one? Janis: Nah, just wondering Janis: cool, I'll find a willing participant then Jimmy: 👌 Janis: [scrolling through the post 'cos lads be horny on main] Jimmy: [when you're so 😒 but you can't let it show] Janis: [dw this plan lasts like 10 secs you thirsty hoes] Jimmy: [don't even go into how triggered he'd be cos how much his ex cheated bye] Janis: [exactly dr phil it doesn't happen for all the reasons and we know it] Jimmy: [boy just shut down over here nbd nothing to see people] Janis: [when you notice but you're not gonna bring that up but you put the phone down like k and go back to chillin'] Jimmy: [meanwhile he's just texting Cass on the way back from her trip, distracting himself with big brother duties, like] Janis: [when usually you get picked up from school after a trip but you know ian ain't coming honey] Jimmy: [literally, he will have to go himself so fingers crossed they get back earlier than her trip does] Janis: [least they at the same school and live near it but still, also janis and grace in charming moods so welcome home! lmao] Jimmy: [Caleb chatting away in the car in portugese god bless] Janis: [when ain't no one talking to you, janis probably didn't wanna get in like oh lads] Jimmy: [break my heart all of y'all, Grace only speaks to be like drop me at Mia's] Janis: [aren't you so glad you had 10 kids looool] Jimmy: [truly]

[janiedean]

Wait, you recasted JB in Mary Poppins? How!? Explain. I just saw Mary Poppins Returns today and I loved the sequel! You don't mind if I ask? What did you like about the movie? I'm just don't have anyone to fangirl about!

... I had XD

okay so, disclaimer: I don’t talk about it because who has the chance, but mary poppins used to be one of those movies I could rewatch for DAYS as a kid to the point where my aunt can’t look at it anymore without feeling sick ops and when the sequel came out I went like OMG SDLKGJSDKJLG NEED TO WATCH XD so, re the sequel: I realized it was a nostalgia operation but it was well-done, I really liked the take, I might have shed a few tears at the end and the fact that everyone wanted jane and jack to get together that was a++++, ADULT!MICHAEL ;________________; MY HEART ;_____; anyway I found it a really nice and enjoyable movie? not as good as the original but lovely anyway.

NOW, ON TO THE RECAST.

er.

basically the idea was... jaime being mary and brienne being bert just with switched personalities in the sense that OBVIOUSLY he’s way more chill and she’d be like WHAT THE FUCK WHY, but REWIND because I had come up with the srsly cracked backstory.

as in, the part about the original implied a prequel where the lannister kids were the ones actually getting the magical babysitter who happened to be *cough* the blackfish *cough* and we found out that all the tullys are actually in the magical nanny business right, and it’d happen when tyrion’s like six or seven and the other two are thirteen-fourteen-ish, obviously cersei stays who she is but having the external influence etc. etc. makes jaime put two and two together and he’s like damn but that sounds like a dream job I mean I do the same stuff with tyrion all the time surely can’t be too hard...?, and like tywin is too much of a terrible mess for anyone to fix so that doesn’t ever get fixed but before leaving they manage some arrangement I hadn’t thought in depth yet so that tyrion actually gets to have a nice life with jaime and not with his father or sister but at that point jaime goes to brynden like ‘hey you think that maybe there’s job offers where you come from’, brynden is like ‘hmmmmmm see you in a few years’. cue few years, jaime disappears somewhere and tyrion who at that point is a teen himself is like NO IDEA WHERE HE ENDED UP when he’s like the only person who knows where he ended up. oops.

CUE ACTUAL AU: years later, we have the actual movie setting with rhaegar/elia being mr/mrs banks and aegon/rhaenys being jane and michael with ADDED COMPLICATION THAT RHAEGAR HAS THE ILLEGITIMATE KID WITH LYANNA AND EVERYONE KNOWS BUT NO ONE WANTS TO BRING IT UP. cue rhaegar not being the nice person he was before blah blah and thinking too much about working in aerys’s bank the prophecy obviously they need the nanny and jaime shows up because he totally got the job (meanwhile he’s become besties with cat and edmure but shh) and he’s like oKAY WE NEED TO FIX THIS MESS, cue magical adventures in which he manages to do more or less what mary did in the original movie with just a lot more bad humor, managing to make sure rhaegar/elia/lyanna turn into a functional-ish ot3 with bonus extended stark family because WHY NOT, while the kids all wonder if the local chimneysweeper brienne with whom he seems like he has a history with is his girlfriend or not because DAMN IT WHAT’S IT BETWEEN THEM THERE’S UST! (spoilers: there is obviously and they met each other before either when they were kids or while jaime was doing the magical training but I had to decide on that lmao) brienne is not so keen to jump into moving murals on the ground but hey she apparently can’t deny jaime anything so WHY THE FUCK NOT. (obv. they make out like pros where no kids can see them.) anyway, after jaime finally manages to fix the ot3 and leaves again we do the time skip...

TO MOVIE TWO where we have grown up jon/aegon/possibly rhaenys - jon is the jane of the situation with ygritte being jack, aegon and rhaenys prob. share the house, one of them probably has oc kids from some crackship I’ll come up with or maybe they ended up with relatives’s kids on them idk that’s to be figured out, they’re about to lose the house and so on (while jon goes to organize union strikes lol), they obv. took from their father when it came to practicality (jon maybe less but he’s not the one living in the house ops), bam jaime comes back like GUYS YOU REALLY CAN’T HANDLE YOURSELVES CAN YOU, at this point I’d have probably had the tullys + tyrion show up, ofc he and brienne at that point are going steady and so on (EVERYONE AGES SLOWLY IT’S MAGICAL REALISM). cue plot for the second movie, there you go.

also if you want the extra casting I was def. gonna have stannis and davos as the admiral and the (platonic??) bf living in front of the banks’s, also fuck I knew I recast uncle albert too but who the fuck remembers could have been gerion?maybe? IDK I prob. should have written it down somewhere. anyway. ONE DAY MAYBE I’LL MANAGE TO WRITE IT. that said if you wanted to know ‘but was it an excuse to put jaime in a white and red dress with the pretty bonnet while he argued with penguins who were smitten with him’ the answer could have been: no but it was a good 30% of the reason why I decided it had to exist.

here you go anon XD

#the mary poppins au of doom #we accept suggestions obviously but that was the main plot #jaime x brienne for ts #otp: i dreamed of you #if you think it was about jaime and cat being bros while saving kids from themselves: YOU ALSO ARE NOT WRONG #mary poppins for ts #Anonymous #ask post

[thedispatched]

Ok so I finally read the soompi post defending Lucas and I wanted to share my thoughts:

They presented some strong points, but their bias is also pretty obvious and they always land with such bold assumptions that just don't make sense. It makes me a bit skeptical.

Anyway, I'll start with the information they got from the ooooshiiim account and the twitter prediction account:

The user ids they represented are def real, that can be easily confirmed by going to websites that translate user handles to ids.

But them comparing one manga character to lucas and assuming that somehow that disproves OP 1's claims is hilarious LMAO. The description of the fictional character would literally fit most male idols, idk how they went like "oh this guy severely resembles lucas, another evidence yay!"

As with the Instagram account, I can't seem to find it?? If, say, it's really OP, did they happen to find the soompi post and decided to delete the Instagram account/change the username? This is also poses the possibility that the Instagram account isn't actually real, but I guess we'll never know.

I also wish the soompi lumi provided a link to the account and some more elaboration on how their cyber investigator found it through the twitter acc's digital footprints. The manga part is very elaborate but most else is just pretty vague which I find a bit questionable?

The said fabrication of the chat records: doesn't the gaps depend on what version of WeChat it is? I searched for "wechat screenshots" and some gaps can indeed be as big as the ones in the chat records.

It would also have been better if they highlighted the gap inconsistencies/misalignments they are pointing out because personally I don't see it(but maybe it's just my eyes bluffing).

I don't have much to say about the schedule parts since I don't follow their schedules closely and I'm too lazy to search for it, but I guess what those fans said do make sense.

The voice messages: I don't have much to say either since I don't speak korean. But last time I heard the alleged voice message and the bubble one lumis are using as proof, they didn't sound alike. But then again, I don't know korean.

The sasaeng photos: I guess it also kinda makes sense. But I feel like the fan who said they got the same photo OP 1 had provided should have just showed a screenshot of her conversation with the sasaeng she claims to be selling them, I mean, the photo is already out, so what difference of not specifying which photo it is/not showing the screenshots of her conversation with the sasaeng would make?

The ring part: the soompi lumi's argument also seems pretty valid. It really does not look like his finger.

The OP 2 part: I don't know mandarin or cantonese so I can't really comment on the nuances the fans are trying to point out. I don't understand the red boxes though, were those part of the original photos OP 2 provided or are they highlights of the misalignments lumis are trying to point out?

The OP 3 part: Oh they can definitely be a guy, but it's also possible that they didn't use their actual gender in the account(I myself do that all the time, for privacy reasons). But once again, we will never know which is true.

The photo is indeed very questionable. Why is the background blurred? Why are there plushies everywhere? Why is there a reflection of what seems like a man in the glass when they're supposedly alone? But there seems to be a door and a small hallway reflected on the glass too? It looks clean and hotel-like. And the one who took the photo seemed to be sitting right besides him based on the photo's angle. If it's taken by a sasaeng staff as fans have claimed, how did the sasaeng staff secretly took a photo like that while literally sitting besides lucas and with other people around them(like the "man in the glass") without the other people in the dorm questioning what the fuck is that staff doing? But another explanation I can think of(if the photo really came from a sasaeng staff) is that a member took the photo(with Lucas being aware of it) and somehow the sasaeng staff managed to get it?

With OP 3's chat records, again I don't see the gap mistakes or misalignment they are pointing out, I again tried to look at WeChat examples on the internet and the difference between the size of the messages and the dates is a normal thing, so is the gap between 2 messages vs the gap at bottom of the chat. And the "difference" between the two s's in lucas's username they are pointing out is honestly ridiculous. The photo is taken from an asymmetrical angle, of course the sizes would look unequal.

The sleeping photos: the plushies' textures don't look the same, dorm plushie looks more rough while the plushie Lucas is sleeping with looks softer and fuzzier. And if it was taken by a sasaeng in the wayv dorm as fans have claimed, how the hell is the sasaeng within such a close proximity? There's so many people in the dorm and I doubt they'd be all asleep at that time to not notice that a sasaeng is right besides their sleeping member literally photographing him.

The jacket and photo receipts: Oh I've seen this on another article. I'm convinced with the debunking of the jacket part, and receipts are everywhere in the internet. I guess it isn't impossible that OP 3 might have just took the receipts somewhere online.

OP 4's surfing video: Yes, same pose, but different angles? That does not look exactly the same as the one he showed in his socials. But that black spot is definitely questionable.

OP 4's WeChat records: Oh another questionable one. Especially the imbalance in the color value. But once I again I think it would have been better if they provided the links to the other debunk posts they included because man I can't see the cutting traces in the chats that they are pointing out.

OP 1's second post: again I think the difference in wechat date layouts depend on the version? And why did most koreans themselves didn't question the difference in OP 1's wechat? Like if korean wechat really don't look like that, wouldn't they point it out?

"their account creation dates and account activity all falls within the same time period." Um no?? 2015, 2019, 2018 are same time periods??

In conclusion, as I said before, I think the soompi lumi presented strong points that really make you question the credibility of the allegations, but their intense bias towards lucas makes them quite questionable, too. And the way they treat every debunk post like the absolute divine truth is pretty off-putting.

I'm convinced not everything in the allegations are true. I'm just curious about the severity of his actions. Maybe he dated them, but maybe he wasn't an asshole? But if that's the case why would they try to ruin his image if he treated them right? Or maybe he really was an asshole but some of the story isn't true? Ah I'm still so confused of what to think but I believe there has to be some truth in the story, but just how bad is the truth???

thank you for sending me your thoughts! it's always interesting to see what other people think. (and sorry for the late reply!)

i'm not gonna say much as i've talk about my thoughts on the post already.

i agree about the manga, it's absolutely ridiculous how comparing one manga character to lucas debunks their claims. that's just one example of one of the far fetched assumptions that made me lean more towards not believing the article.

part of me also wondered if they created the ig account for their article but like you said, we’ll never know.

even if it doesn’t look like his finger in the messages, I’m pretty sure he mentioned winwin in the texts ??

I know some people blur the background of photos for either aesthetic, or mostly for privacy reasons.

I honestly don’t know how people are seeing a man in the reflection. It’s a literally blob. You can’t make out any (person) shape.

The jacket and receipts is the only thing I took away from that article that I actually kind of believed. I talked about this with another anon. That is super easy to fake, but the photos were also originally blurry so a “blur” around the words would be hard to solidify as evidence unless the photo is in ultra hd or something lol. But to me this is the most believable to be fake.

I once saw a twitter thread pointing out how the messages weren’t photoshopped and explained why they looked “misaligned” or whatever but I can’t remember what it said exactly besides auto translations. I won’t be able to find it again because it was so long ago :/

Someone can correct me if I’m wrong but wechat is more of a China thing? Like not a lot of people outside of China/non-Chinese use it. You’re right about why Koreans didn’t point it out, but I don’t think they’d know if they don’t use it ??

You asked a lot of questions and pointed out a lot of things that are something to think about, but I don’t think anyone has a clear answer unless you have an extreme bias.

I also wondered the severity of his actions. I think this whole thing is a mix of truth and lies. We all want to know the truth and the worst part is we never will. Like you said, how bad is the truth?

(I might edit this later and add some stuff 😅)