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thecruellestmonth · 1 year

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Steph & Jason fic recs

Some of the best fics featuring friendship and interactions between Jason Todd and Stephanie Brown.

"Just Another Kid" by shobogan - Stephanie is Jason's best friend. She's about to discover that she's Robin's, too. POV Steph, childhood friends AU. Very sweet, punched me in the emotions. 2013.

"Jason and Me" by David Hines, originally posted on FFN - Newly appointed Robin, Stephanie Brown investigates some old history. (Written before Robin #125.) POV Steph; published during Stephanie's short Robin run before she was fridged, and before Jason returned as Red Hood. (Bonus: Try looking over the old reviews on FFN—pretty interesting to see some of the fan reception for Steph nearly 20 years ago.) 2004.

"4am philosophy" by grayghost (eurydiced) - Then again, every story about Jason seemed to paint a different picture: broken man, or misguided hero, or dangerous zealot who'd had one too many chances, depending on who was doing the telling. If there was one common thread, it was that Jason was a cautionary tale. POV Steph. 2016.

"Close Encounters and Cautionary Tales" by predilection - The first time Jason Todd and Stephanie Brown meet, they end up surprising each other. POV Jason, switches to POV Steph, set during Stephanie's Batgirl era before Bruce's return. 2013.

"Bloodstains Won't Make It Matter" by skylarkblue - Jason returns to Gotham to find another dead Robin. He steals away with the body and resurrects her, but there begs the question: what will they do? POV Jason primarily, with some POV Steph, written for the @jaystephevents prompt "Robin!Stephanie and Red Hood!Jason". Under the Hood rewrite featuring resurrected Stephanie Brown. 2022.

"Ghostgirl and Zomboy " by shauds - "You don't make demands of the ghost, asshole, the ghost makes demands of you." Steph dies, becomes a ghost, and annoys Jason incessantly during his big comeback. POV Jason; mostly a Halloween-themed buddy comedy but watch out for feels. 2018.

"this is a long drive (for three robins who don't agree on much)" by drakefeathers - Steph’s trip home to Gotham takes a huge detour thanks to Jason and Damian’s conflicts with airport security. She’s stuck driving the two brothers cross-country to reach Tim’s wedding in time. POV Steph, civilian/no capes AU, mostly fluff and comedy plus some sweetness. 2014.

"So You Say It's Your Birthday" by Cerusee - “Babs and I are throwing you and Steph a joint birthday party,” Dick said. “It’s on Sunday the 13th, because that’s the only day everybody can make it. It's in the park. Bruce is grilling steaks, and I know you know how good he is at that. You’re coming.” Steph and Jason have a joint birthday party; feel-good fluff and humor with an idealized Batfamily. 2017. POV Jason.

"Hanging On" by Deshal - If there was one thing Stephanie Brown had always excelled at, it was plotting a course and refusing to be moved. Bruce had just needed proof that she was a capable hero in her own right. It was funny just how much Steph’s obstinacy and Bruce’s distrust of her had combined in all the worst ways. POV Steph primarily; post-War Games anti-hero Steph AU; WIP/incomplete.

"Identity Document" by Runespoor - A dark alleyway, a gang of thugs, a victim who won't be victimized, Batman. A bad Robin meets a bad Batman. 2011. POV Steph.

"Lost" by orphan_account - Jason loses a parent, meets a girl, and goes swimming. Then some other stuff happens, too. 2011. POV Jason.

"What's So Amazing That Keeps Us Stargazing" by Cerusee - Stephanie wasn’t stupid; she knew Robin’s colors well as any Gotham kid did. It was Dick’s old costume. (Stephanie knew she wasn’t even supposed to know that name; Batman had had a concussion when he’d called Nightwing by it, and they’d both been cagey with her for months afterwards.) It was the costume he’d worn before he’d grown up and become Nightwing. So why this case, with this costume, but a different name? Batman doesn't get another Robin after Jason, but Spoiler makes her way into the fold anyway. POV Steph; Steph & Bruce. (This is more of a Steph & Bruce story. Jason proper doesn't show up here, but he's here in spirit.) 2018.

"Gotham War: Batgirl" by Teleportation_Magic - If the 2023 Gotham War crossover event actually cared about using Stephanie's potential. POV Steph. [Again, Jason really doesn't have much of a role in this one, but still.]

"the patterned flight of starlings" by Cerusee - In a universe where Jason Todd survives the warehouse, the world is a very different place. 2018-2020.

"Atalanta" by Cerusee - The dog growled at him. Jason growled back. “Don’t do that, you dipshit,” Steph said, heatedly. “You’re antagonizing her. Don’t growl.” Batman enlists Steph and Jason to give a bath to a rescue dog. 2017.

"Family Game Night" by quipquipquip - “YOU AREN’T MY REAL DAD,” Jason bellowed, and flipped the table. “YOU OWN PARK PLACE, BUT YOU DON’T OWN ME!” The Batfamily plays Monopoly; crack comedy. 2011.

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robintherobiner · 4 days

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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Batman - All Media Types Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Stephanie Brown & Tim Drake, Stephanie Brown & Bruce Wayne, Tim Drake & Bruce Wayne Characters: Stephanie Brown, Crystal Brown, Bruce Wayne, Tim Drake, Joker Junior, Damian Wayne Additional Tags: Crystal and Damian are barely in here sorry folks, Kidnapping, Age Swap, Batkids Age Reversal, POV Alternating, Identity Reveal, or i mean identity discovery cuz he doesn't REVEAL it, Stephanie Brown-centric, Stephanie Brown is Robin, Tim Drake is Joker Jr., Dead Joker (DCU), Stephanie Brown Being a Little Shit, sorry if shes ooc i may have projected too hard, Bruce Wayne is Bad at Feelings, Jason Todd's Attack on Titans Tower, except its not jason, and its not an attack, and also its not set in titans tower for that long, Tim Drake Being a Little Shit, Dead Tim Drake Series: Part 1 of Robin, who? It's Cassowary, baby! Summary:

Steph reckoned she was probably in his lair. Or in the basement underneath his lair. Maybe, just maybe, she was in the attic of his lair.

Either way, she was definitely in his lair. He was a Joker wannabe and that madman, may he suffer in hell, loved his lair.

“I’m jumping for joy.” Steph said, still sat on the floor.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

The Titans Tower attack, except instead of Robin fighting Red Hood, it's Cassowary being kidnapped by Joker Junior.

#reverse robins #reverse robins au #age reversal #cassowary #Stephanie Brown #stephanie brown fanfiction #tim dake #tim drake fanfiction #its finally WRITTEN YIPPEE

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onnahu · 3 days

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I want a batfam fic when Jason dissapears, so Steph and Cass break into his place to investigate, and all they find is a note like that:

I got married and am now on a space honeymoon, where we get married at every single planet we can.

Xoxo

Jay

Ps.

Whoever found it - Get everybody's (especially B's) reactions on camera and give to me as the best wed gift in the world, and you'll be my favourite forever.

If you're B - Fuck you, you always ruin my fun, and you're not allowed at my place, so if it's you I hate you. Fuck you, B.

Is it a joke? Did he really eloped? And with who? Because he sure as hell didn't tell anyone. Like, WAS HE EVEN DATING?

Anyway, Steph and Cass have a blast out of it.

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blusandbirds · 11 months

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the batkids will deliberately get jason into their favorite pieces of media so he’ll write fanfiction for it.

dick discovered this strategy when he forced jason to watch one of his favorite shows with him. he’d totally forgotten that the show ended on a cliffhanger before it was cancelled, but rewatching it brought back that feeling of dissatisfaction he had the first time around. so dick opens up the ao3 tag for the show and to his surprise, there’s a brand new fic addressing every single loose end, complete with beautiful prose and amazing characterization. dick practically weeps. it’s only when he realizes some of the things in the fic match up with the rants jason had during their watch of the show that he has barbara confirm his suspicions about who the author is.

somehow everybody but jason gets wind of this and they’re taking unashamed advantage of it. the next time they see a movie together, stephanie leans over to jason to whisper about the romantic potential between two characters. she gets like three fics for her ship out of that. when jason goes outside, barbara switches electronic billboards and redirects taxis with ads for her favorite show. and of course, every targeted ad on his phone and computer are for the same show. when he finally gives in and watches it, barbara ends up with plenty of content to get her through the between seasons break.

everybody in jason’s family is subscribed to the ao3 account that he doesn’t know they know he has. one day, they’re all chilling in the library, and at the same time jason publishes his latest fic (for a movie bruce of all people was very insistent he watch), everybody’s email notifications go off. he narrows his eyes suspiciously. “just some wayne enterprises stuff.” “got a package delivered.” “what’s an email?”

it’s fine. he’ll let them get away with it. besides, he does the same thing to damian to get fanart out of him.

#blu talks #dc comics #batfam #batfamily #batman #jason todd #dick grayson #barbara gordon #stephanie brown #i was like haha another jason writes fanfiction thought and now im like ready to write a full blown fic #blu is dcposting

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im-totally-not-an-alien-2 · 1 year

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After developing the ability to trap ghosts in pocket dimensions where they can feed thier obsessions without bothering him, Danny and co begin to grow bored and explore the Infinite Realms.

Danny had always known he was a clone, with his earliest memory having been being kidnapped from the lab he was made in -via people he still didn't know to this day-and shoved through a mysterious blue portal before being found by the Fentons. Danny accepted he didn't know who his biological parent or parents were and probably never will.

Thats why he was even more shocked than his friends when they went to a place called Gotham and met someone who looked like an older (or in damians case: younger) version of Danny.

Now Danny had a few options for a response. Sure he and his friends could just run but where's the fun in that? He could:

1. Give them a tearful look and say "Dad? Is that really you?"

This can also be said as mom in case of Cass or Selina

This is funniest if its said to either Tim or Damian because Danny is like 15 in this and Tim isn't that much older than Dannys appearent age and Damian looks younger than him

2. Stare at them and say, "Oh, you're the person I was cloned from?" And act like everything's normal. Maybe ask if they need an organ and if thats why they tracked him down.

3. Ignore it and act like its a coincidence they look exactly the same.

4. Act scared of them. Maybe beg them to not kill him for added dramatic affect

5. Ask if they like dogs and shove Cujo into thier arms before they can answer.

They suddenly get rapid fire sniffs and then a torrent of puppy kisses.

6. Panic and trap them in a pocket dimension like the ghosts and have to figure out how to get them out before they get in trouble. Maybe its too late and they have to get them out while dodging bats

7. Try to convince them they're hallucinating

8. Just let them sneakily take a sample of his DNA just to see what happens. Dont even acknowledge the clone thing. Even if presented with the dna tests, Deny, Deny, Deny.

9. Convince them they and the others knew about him for years and that they're memories may have been altered. Escape when their guard is down/they're not looking.

10. Pineapple. Not really sure how that will help but now there's pineapples everywhere. Danny might be hungry if he's teleporting fruit into his vicinity from just a thought, but that may also be because he's suddenly developing teleportation powers.

#dp x dc #fanfiction prompts #prompts #clone au #danny phantom #danny fenton #batman #tim drake #red robin #robin #damian wayne #cassandra wayne #cassandra cain #dick grayson #jason todd #stephanie brown #duke thomas

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vodrae · 5 months

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Me writing fanfiction on Batman: Nooo, i can't say that, it's too much far away from canon

Tumblr: Did you know that in an alternate universe there is a Cthulu Batman ?

Me: So, Jason being raised by the Sirens.

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ifyoucandaniel · 4 days

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exactly one person asked and i’ve been DYING to make this, so here are all of my favorite long batman fanfics in general and for new readers @twisted-tales-told :)

cards on the table by @wesslan ! 69k, completed. this is one of my all time favorite fanfictions, it’s so funny and tim is a mastermind genius and a little liar <3 he basically pretends to be a fortune teller and gives scarily good predictions and advice by stalking the upper class and eventually gets involved with the batfam and has to maintain his lies while dealing with his issues :) 10/10, very found family, good angst, so much lying

Dark Matter by @mysterycyclone , 221k, ongoing. this is a batman fanfic rec, of course my bbg dark matter is going to be here <3 this is a MCUxDCU crossover where after infinity war (spoilers for that if you haven’t seen it!) peter parker gets sent to the DCU dimension with part of the soul stone and basically is haunted by the ghosts of the avengers while trying to survive in gotham and get back to his dimension. this is so well written i’ve read it at least three times, it’s still ongoing but trust me it is SO GOOD. i can’t properly describe it, but if you like spider-man and you are interested in batman, you’ll love.

Red is the Color of Sinners by @bluelotuswrites , series, 120k, ongoing, M. i want you to look me in my eyes when i tell you this is my favorite series on ao3. it is set after under the red hood and daredevil 3 where jason and matt meet in a church after jason loses his ability to speak following the events of UTRH. they keep running into each other both as matt and daredevil and eventually jason begins helping matt out with injuries and tech. it’s not finished yet, but there is something so compelling about their dynamic in this series as well as jason’s overall character and how he is portrayed. i’m a sucker for mute jason after UTRH and this series does so well giving him a fresh start and a place away from gotham to heal and build relationships. i cannot recommend enough.

buy back the secrets by @vinelark , 71k, ongoing, T. THIS!!! oh my god, so this is a timkon fic where kon still doesn’t know tim’s civilian identity, but whenever he’s in trouble tim calls for superboy which leads to them meeting without kon knowing. shenanigans ensure when kon starts spending more time with tim! it’s still ongoing but the author is currently working on the next part and it is so so worth the wait. chapter 4 ends on a cliffhanger though so be warned :))

Sales People Know (listening is the most important part) by Mayhem10, 77k, completed, T. this has the coolest urban magical realism ever. tim basically runs this magic shop that shows up places and people who need something find it in his shop :) it’s kinda a slow burn found family fic with magic themes and a smidge of angst!

Retrograde Motion by Lysical, 112k, completed, T. this is best de-aged kid fic ever. jason gets turned into a 7 year old and basically the outlaws, artemis and biz, join forces with the batfam to take care of him. but trust me when i say this is worth your time, it might sound tropey but in the best way possible!! and jason’s relationship with artemis is sooo important to me in this!

Hand in Unloveable Hand (a chokehold) by britishparty, 54k, completed, M. this is one of the best psychological torture/grooming fics i’ve ever read. pretty much what if while our taking photos of batman and robin, little tim gets kidnapped and black mask gets his hands on him and decides he’s the perfect size for a protege. years of psychological abuse and insane mind games ensue. also tim is a Badass™️

If He Had Come by bronwe_iris, 45k, completed, T. so i’m a little freak and i love the angst of arkham knight jason, but more specifically the aus where bruce saves jason before he becomes the arkham knight! this is an au where bruce finds jason and saves him from the joker after 9 months of torture and brings him home. focuses on his healing mentally and physically and rebuilding his relationship with his family

Banshee in a Well by liverobinreaction (bugbee), 43k, completed, T. veeeery good angst. basically what if tim couldn’t die? 43k of tim drake whump where he just dies a bajillion times and eventually his family notices <3

The Birds: Hatching a Family by Oceanera12, 81k, completed, T. this is like “what if the batkids weren’t adopted by bruce, but instead they were all foster siblings who can’t seem to stay out of gotham at night and batman happens to find them and decides obviously he can’t leave these kids to their own business, he has to stick his nose in it” and there’s some angst and heaps of found family

The Hellblazer’s Apprentice by @bluelotuswrites, 29k, ongoing, M. what can i say, im a simple woman, i love to see jason with literally any older male mentor :) basically in UTRH what if he took up an apprenticeship under constantine to learn magic to piss off batman! so good, i really love constantine so seeing him and jason interact in a long fic is so good. also ALL BLADES JASON TODD SAVE ME… ALL BLADES JASON TODD-

something in the static by bonerot19, 101k, ongoing series with three main completed works, T. this is a jason centric series where jason still lives in crime alley with his mom and dad and never stole the batmobile tires. it follows his life in crime alley with an addict mom and an abusive dad and one night when his dad is whaling on him nightwing finds him and the bats just can’t seem to leave him alone after that. steph is his neighbor and best friend also and their relationship is so good. this is a “what if jason took a different way home to the wayne’s” fic series and i love it so much <3

catch the asteroids that come your way by ThePackWantsTheD, 54k, completed, T. i don’t read a lot of ships in the batman fandom i’m sorry, but this kyle/jason one is sooo lovely. basically the two of them growing up together and falling in love and then dealing with the aftermath of A Death in the Family and finding each other again :) really sweet and nice!

hope you find something you like! i realized the majority of these are tim or jason centric, and i love them all dearly, but if anyone has any recs for long fics focusing on any of the other batkids lmk! and any other recs in general, i am a fiend for new fics

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ahfrickenfrick · 2 months

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me every time i see the ‘good brother/sister/parent -insert batfam member-’ tag

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chocor0se · 2 months

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i love tim being protective tropes cause maybe he doesn’t have the greatest relationship with all of his siblings, cough cough damian cough cough jason cough, but they are still his siblings.

like an only i can make fun of them thing, ya know?

like tim will be so close to literally getting into a fight with someone he cares about (applies to both friends and family) and suddenly someone else says something mean about them and he’s spitting out their IP address and threatening their future

#writing #fanfiction #tim drake #batfam #robin #batman #bruce wayne #jason todd #dick grayson #damian wayne #stephanie brown #cassandra cain #duke thomas #barbara gordon #kon el #bart allen #cassandra sandsmark

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duskyashe · 10 months

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CAMP NANO DAY 6

[chapter 4] [AO3]

(please see tags for trigger warnings)

============<×^-^×>============

It was a little known fact that Bruce Wayne hadn't only fostered his boys. As one of the few above-the-board trained and highly experienced foster parents in Gotham, Bruce had actually fostered dozens of children from all kinds of situations over the years. The only kids the press ever actually found out about were the ones he legally gained custody of, in one way or another, due to stringent privacy policies set in place back when he'd applied to be a foster parent for Dick.

Sometimes Bruce is able to keep in contact with his former foster kids, and he's always happy when that's the case, but other times he loses complete contact with them and can't legally track them down again. It's those children, outside of the ones he's legally able to claim as his own, that he worries about relentlessly. But even among those kids, there's two he worries about the most.

Jasmine Madeline Fenton and her younger brother Daniel Jackson Fenton had come into Bruce's life and home when Dick was thirteen. They weren't the first kids he'd fostered since adopting Dick, but they were the most impactful. Jazz was six, her hair was freshly cut and washed, her clothes neat and a bit on the baggy side, and her backpack still had a tag on it. Danny was three, he, too, had freshly cut and washed hair, his clothes were brand new, and his diaper bag was fully stocked.

Jazz was six and her clothes hung off her frame. She had bags under eyes and didn't know how to brush or wash her own hair. The backpack she had when she walked in his front doors was the very first new thing she'd ever seen that her parents hadn't immediately cannibalized for their experiments.

Danny was three and hadn't been given a real bath in almost a year. His clothes were all either too small or his sister's hand-me-downs. His diaper hadn't been changed in over six hours.

Bruce had been so sure he was going to be awarded permanent custody of the two. There had obviously been criminal neglect going on in that household at least, it should have been child's play to gain permanent custody of them. His lawyer and the children's case manager had assured them their case was practically airtight.

The kids had only been in his custody for two weeks before the state awarded full parental rights to the Drs Fenton. Jazz had only barely started getting used to eating three times a day again. Danny had just started smiling whenever Dick played peekaboo with him. And the courts sent. Them. Back. A month later and the Fenton's moved without a word, leaving behind not a single trace. It was almost as though they'd vanished.

Dick had been devastated. Alfred was crushed. And Bruce? Bruce experienced the five stages of grief for the second time in his life twice over. For years, he had private investigators searching everywhere he could think of for the siblings, desperately hoping to find even the slimmest glimmer of hope that they were alright, that they were still alive.

Jason coming into the household lessened some of that pain and desperation, especially after Bruce obtained full custody of him, but the tension between Dick and Jason drove the lingering tension between Dick and Bruce to critical levels. Argument after argument, fight after fight, all about the same topic: Why did Jason get adopted when Jazz and Danny were still out here?

Eventually the tension exploded in one of the worst ways possible, and the family was reduced back down to three. The first six months after Jason's funeral, Bruce refused to take on any new children. He even asked the private investigators to only contact him if they definitively found proof of the kids. The pain, the grief, the guilt was just too much for him. He'd failed Jazz and Danny, and he'd failed Jason, too. He couldn't handle failing yet another child.

Then Tim showed up, too tiny and too determined to get his way. The shock of seeing the obvious evidence of yet more criminal neglect from his own neighbors drew Bruce out of his downward spiral just enough to realize he needed help. Tim was right, he had been killing himself with his work, and doing so was the exact opposite of what Jazz, Danny, or Jason would have wanted from him. He notified CPS of a possible situation he was keeping an eye on, as well as the fact that he was pulling himself back together so he'd be able to reapply to be a foster parent, and then sought the help of a therapist sworn to absolute secrecy with the help of multiple NDAs.

A year later, he was reinstated as a foster parent, awarded first temporary, then later full, custody of Tim. He fostered a pair of blonde little girls for a few nights before an aunt was found in Vineland, New Jersey, who got custody instead. About a month after them, he fostered a ten year old boy for a week before his dad regained custody. He even fostered Tim's friend, Stephanie Brown, for two months while her mom went through rehab.

And then Red Hood came to town.

Between trying to track down and figure out who Red Hood was, Bruce also took on twin eight year old boys for about five days, a fifteen year old girl for two and a half weeks, a pair of cousins for ten days, and three siblings for a night. When Red Hood was finally revealed to be a revived Jason, angry at the thought that Bruce had replaced him and missing a few key memories, it had been two years since the last time he'd heard from the private investigators he'd hired eleven years prior. After weeks of careful negotiation and peace talks between Bruce and Jason, the family of four was well on their way to being the family of five they legally were, when Bruce decided it was time to get back in contact with the team he'd left in charge of the investigation looking for the Fentons. They only had a potential sighting of the Fentons at a class reunion in Wisconsin a few months prior, but any sighting was better than what they'd had for most of the eleven years prior, so Bruce asked them to double down and see what came from it.

Two weeks later, there was a knock on the manor door. It was the middle of a torrential downpour, one of the worst thunderstorms Gotham had seen in years, yet there was undeniably someone knocking at the door. Bruce, who'd been passing through the entry hall on a late evening stroll through the manor, was the one to answer the door.

She was in her late teens, her hair was long, wet, and stuck to the side of her face, her clothes in poor repair with splotches of dark red and neon green on them, and her backpack was worn and frayed. He was in his early teens, he, too, had long, wet hair that stuck to his face, his clothes were rags and barely hanging onto him with more of those dark red and neon green splotches, and his duffle bag was stuffed to the gills.

"Mr Wayne?" Jasmine Madeline Fenton asked, voice quivering as the two of them huddled on his doorstep, Daniel Jackson Fenton's eyes drooping to half mast from exhaustion. "We need your help. Our parents are trying to murder us."

============<×^-^×>============

I'm not gonna lie, it took me forever to figure out what I wanted to write today, but once I decided on this, it just wrote itself (⁠^⁠_⁠^⁠メ⁠) I actually got the idea for this fic from a prompt @evandarya had posted in the Batpham server a while back, which I absolutely loved and just had to write, so this ficlet is dedicated to them (not that they're aware of it yet lol)

Once again, I have no idea if I'll ever continue this ficlet, for my muse is fickle and likes to play favorites ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠⊙⁠_⁠ʖ⁠⊙⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯ I might get lucky and get sudden inspiration for a sequel for this, or I might not, who knows? Honestly, if anyone wants to add onto this, go right ahead lol that'd be amazing.

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oldmannapping · 2 months

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Ficlet: Bodyswap (Dick-Jason and Tim-Steph)

Based on my own prompt, which wouldn't leave my brain.

This is a body-swap fic with only the awkwardness. None of the bonding. Just the weird uncomfortable parts. Okay maybe a little of the bonding.

Excerpt:

Across the Cave, a furious voice echoed off stalagmites and startled several bats.

“Why are you so HORNY ALL THE TIME?!”

An indignant, and equally-bat-startling voice immediately responded.

“Why AREN’T you?!”

It seems there was an impasse.

It’s a tale as old as time. Batfamily meets warlock, warlock fumbles a spell, warlock disappears in a cloud of smoke, Batfamily realises they’re body-swapped…

You know. That old classic.

WARNINGS: Mentions of menstruation, mentions of sex drives and sexuality, swearing

Across the Cave, a furious voice echoed off stalagmites and startled several bats.

“Why are you so HORNY ALL THE TIME?!”

An indignant, and equally-bat-startling voice immediately responded.

“Why AREN’T you?!”

It seems there was an impasse.

It’s a tale as old as time. Batfamily meets warlock, warlock fumbles a spell, warlock disappears in a cloud of smoke, Batfamily realises they’re body-swapped…

You know. That old classic.

Dick and Jason were glaring at each other. Themselves. Each other, in each other’s bodies. You've got it, it's not your first rodeo right?

It’s been three days since the unfortunate warlock incident. As well as Jason and Dick, Tim and Stephanie have also been body-swapped in a move that seemed particularly designed by the spell/universe to cause maximum rage to Steph and mortification to Tim.

Jason and Dick have refused to allow the team to be locked down because Fuck Off, You Can’t Tell Me What To Do (Jason) and Bruce For The Good Of The Team We Need Some Space Because If We Murder Each Other It Will Be Bad For Morale (Dick).

Bruce might have held out for longer but Alfred’s visiting family in England and without his arched brow of British judgement, Bruce tends to let his children pick whichever course of action seems like it will cause the least about of hassle to Bruce’s personal routine.

He didn’t love them in the Cave 24/7 either. He’s had to ship Cass and Damian off to one of his nicer safehouses because having to manage four moody, hormonal, body-swapped vigilantes was hard enough without the mental load of school pickups and packed lunches. He misses Alfred. He’s hiding in his office at the moment, getting more Wayne Enterprises work done than he has in years.

Jason and Dick, and Tim and Stephanie, have spent three days in each other’s bodies, absolutely not patrolling or going anywhere that they’re likely to be recognised, but exercising and getting coffee and generally behaving like prisoners on day release. Zatanna has assured them that these sorts of spells usually fizzle out after less than a month, so it’s just a waiting game.

Apparently, they are bored. Apparently, they’re getting on each other’s nerves again.

Jason, in Dick’s body, has just raked his hands through his hair and pulled it nearly hard enough to rip it out.

“Why are you so HORNY ALL THE TIME!?” he has bellowed.

Dick’s reaction is to pull Jason’s body to its full height in indignation. “Why AREN’T you?” he shouts back.

Jason is at the end of his rope. “Everyone you see!” he says, pointing a finger at Dick. “I was just going for a fucking RUN. I just wanted some exercise, because this fucking body can’t go three minutes without goddam MOVING. And it just wouldn’t SHUT UP.”

He’s so mad. He continues: “This fucking body checks out EVERYONE. You’re constantly just sizing people up and thinking about boning them. ALL THE FUCKING TIME.”

Dick is also mad. “That’s not true!” he rebuts. “I notice people! We’re trained to be observant! Yeah, one of the things I notice about them is attraction. That’s NORMAL. That’s what people DO. At least I’m not thinking about the best ways I could incapacitate some poor 15-year-old barista.”

Jason flares Dick’s nostrils. “I do NOT think about hurting kids.”

Dick scoffs. “No, you think about hurting EVERYONE. Everyone you see is a threat. How could I take this person down? Am I stronger than this person? Is that lady hiding a gun in that baby stroller? All day long! You think that’s normal? You think that’s better than noticing if someone’s attractive?”

“It’s more fucking useful, especially in our line of work. You think you’ll ever save the day with a heroic boner?”

“Oh my god stop talking about it!”

“I wish I could stop THINKING about it! I had to SHOWER in this goddam body. Do you know how hard it is to ignore someone else’s boner in your shower? I nearly punched myself in the dick, pun fucking intended.”

Dick makes Jason’s teeth grind. “Do NOT break my penis.”

Jason points at Dick again like he’s a giant disobedient dog. “I will get your FUCKING nipples pierced if this body has one more hard on. I’m not fucking around.”

Dick flails Jason’s huge arms. His fluid, lithe movements look very out of place on a muscle-bound heavyweight. Almost campy. “I have literally ZERO control over that right now. You realise that right? You realise you sound ridiculous.”

“You’re the one who conditioned your body to be like this. Make it stop!”

“I don’t know if you forgot about this part of puberty or if you were just too busy being angry and emo and FARTING to notice, but boners are a fact of life, suck it up.”

“Firstly, some of us actually eat vegetables - YOU need more fibre in your diet, Grayson, don’t get me started on that – and secondly, sorry I didn’t condition myself to repress freakish amounts of lust. I must have been too busy DYING and being RESURRECTED and BRAINWASHED BY THE LEAGUE OF ASSASSINS.”

“Oh my god WE GET IT, YOU DIED. You cannot use that to win every argument. Stop being so angry in my body, I can feel how gross and grouchy yours is all the time and I don’t want you infecting mine.”

“That’s funny, since I’m probably keeping your body the cleanest it’s been since you were fifteen, you horny maniac.”

“There’s a difference between feeling attraction and acting on it! It’s NORMAL to notice people in a sexual way! Don’t shame me!”

“Stop saying ‘attraction’, this is not attraction, this is Ivy-level mind-fogging crotch-throbbing run-ruining-“

“Just because all YOU think about is violence and murder, don’t get mad at me for having a sex drive!”

“I’m not mad at you for having a sex drive! I’m mad at you for making ME have your sex drive!”

“I didn’t cast this spell!”

“I know!”

“There’s nothing wrong with being sexual and expressing it with whoever I want, as long as they’re consenting!”

“I know! I support you! I couldn’t give a fuck who you bone and I don’t want to think about it, but I support it!”

“Good!”

Steph and Tim are standing a few feet away, watching hypnotically. Steph uses Tim’s bony elbow to nudge him in her ribs. She whispers something to him and he snorts a laugh, then freezes.

“Um,” he says in Steph’s voice, expression tight. “I think you might need to teach me how to use a tampon. Or, uh. Sanitary pad. Whichever you’re most comfortable with. Or. Um. Maybe your body just peed? Many women develop incontinence after childbirth, so it’s fine, I just. Uh. I just want to know what I’m dealing with here.”

Steph gapes at him. “Jesus fucking Christ.” She grabs her phone and swears when the fingerprint ID doesn’t work. Jabbing in her PIN, she swipes to her period tracker app. “Fuck. Un-fucking-believable.”

Ten minutes later, Steph and Tim emerge from the Cave’s bathrooms with grim expressions, not meeting each other’s eyes.

Tim, valiantly trying to remain scientific, offers, “I didn’t know it smelled different than normal blood.”

Steph digs Tim’s nails into his palms. “Stop talking.”

Tim cannot stop talking. “I just mean. I’ve been around a lot of blood, but never, you know. That kind of blood. And I never thought about how, in its basic composition, it’s not just blood, it’s also endometrial cells and cervical lining so of course it would be different.”

“Stop. Talking.”

Tim is a nervous talker. “And also, good idea on using the gloves and applicator. That way I didn’t have to touch any, um, you know, touch your, touch you when I was doing the. Yeah. Not that it would be gross or bad to touch you, I mean. You’re very. Great. And women are. So brave. Every month. But it’s just. You know. It’s not. I mean you consented, but in this situation, is it really consent, since this whole thing is kind of coercive, since you don’t REALLY have control over your-“

“SHUT UP!”

Dick and Jason raise their heads like meerkats from where they’ve ended up facing off with their phones, stubbornly shout-reading each other google search results for “normal male sex drive” and “how do I know if I’m asexual”.

“Everything okay over there?” asks Dick, Jason’s deeper voice carrying easily across the Cave.

“Fine!” say Steph and Tim in tandem.

“Totally natural and normal!” adds Tim helpfully. “We’re totally comfortable. We’re blossoming. We’re very healthy.”

Steph groans. “I cannot believe I used to date you.”

Part Two

#batfamily headcanons #red hood #jason todd #dick grayson #bruce wayne #batfamily #nightwing #tim drake #stephanie brown #batman fanfiction #bodyswap au #asexual jason todd #not asexual dick grayson #sexually-ambiguous jason todd #sex-positive Jason Todd

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sasheneskywalker · 6 months

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which fanon batfam character are you?

i made a quiz assigning you a fanonized version of one of the batfam characters :)

#dc #batfamily #humor #fandom #fanfiction #bruce wayne #dick grayson #jason todd #tim drake #damian wayne #duke thomas #barbara gordon #cassandra cain #stephanie brown #sashene creates

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aster-draws · 4 months

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The cuddle pile from the Incredible Femme_Morte aka @theeclecticenquirer's Catherine didn’t raise no Coward which has me feeling. So normal about Jason Todd. Kills me every time go read it

+bonus og cuddle juggernaut concept

#batfam #jason todd #batman #dick grayson #stephanie brown #cassandra cain #batman fanfiction #fic rec #listen my friend made a fic and its GOOD and its PAINFUL

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happypeachsludgeflower · 2 years

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I’ll take some of that jam please!! On toast and maybe some butter??

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verieriberries · 18 days

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POWER THOUGHT

bruce wayne x professor utonium from powerpuff girls

like, just think about it

both dads of vigilante/hero children

bruce gets more opportunities to girldad (his fave would deffo be bubbles)

the batkids get an emotionally open figure in their lives

cass, steph, barbs and whatever other daughters bruce has gets more sisters

dami and buttercup would either kill each other on sight or would become allies

dick and blossom eldest daughter core

bubbles and cass do ballet together

tim and professor nerd out w each other

like, PLEASE PLEASE IMAGINE IT

professor utonium transfers to wayne enterprises r&d and like, bonds with tim over science and stuff (tim’s an intern). and of course, bruce wayne has to meet this guys because 1) new employee and it would be rude of Brucie Wayne™️ to not check on him and 2) tim’s been talking about this dude and he wanted to thank the man for not undermining his son’s intellect

and so he goes and whoops, exactly his type. the b in bruce wayne stands for bisexual and there’s two things that get him going: mean women e.g selina & talia and soft men e.g clark in those first years they knew each other and, now apparently included in the list, professor utonium

and the professor DOES NOT shut up about his daughters. dang, more points. although that kinda made bruce a little worried that the professor was a married man but his worries were put to rest when the man confirmed that he had been single ever since he graduated college.

so, should he shoot his shot? survey (tim and alfred) says yes.

that’s still the gist of it but bonus miscellaneous stuff

the number of batkids the batfam has is up to you

the age of the ppg is also up to you

younger ppg (like, 5-8): dami’s not the youngest anymore and he takes pride in being an older brother, dick is just delighted, the girls get a bunch of older brothers and sisters that are all very protective even when they find out that the ppg have superpowers

teen ppg: 95% risk of dami or buttercup killing the other, dick and blossom bonding about being ‘leaders’, bubbles brings a boyfriend home one time and the boyfriend never returned under the terrifying glares of batfam + blossom and buttercup (professor utonium was the only nice one), the ultimate sparring sessions

bruce teaches the ppg hand-to-hand combat and to not rely so much on their powers

batfam gets free laser dodging training courtesy of the girls’ laser eyes and just about any type of training pertaining fighting against superpowered enemies

this has been bugging me all day and i NEED someone with more motivation to draw or write about this. and if you do make art or fics, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE TAG ME 🛐🛐🛐🛐

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