#THIS ALL MEANS SO MUCH TO YOUNG ME I WISH SHE WERE HERE TO EXPERIENCE IT ALL

[virtu4l-di4ry]

the future is bright and its fucking queer- dan and phil are out and making gay jokes, castiel canonically is queer and loves dean, the doctor is openly queer/gender-fluid.

the future is queer- the past was too we just didn’t know it yet.

#queerness is all around us #queer #the future is queer #lgbt+ #lgbt #queer rep #dan and phil #dan howell #phil lester #castiel #dean winchester #spn #supernatural #the doctor #doctor who #THIS ALL MEANS SO MUCH TO YOUNG ME I WISH SHE WERE HERE TO EXPERIENCE IT ALL #me yapping

[fromforeigntofamiliarity]

Hell Hath No Fury | Aemond Targaryen | Two

Requested: yes

Summary: Aemond learns things have changed since he’s been away. (Part One)

Warning: emotional affair, BAD WRITING!

When Aemond made it to the dining room you and Beth had already entered.

"This is Armon," You smiled while handing the babe to Luce before taking the other babe from Beth. "And this is Aemon." The two of you held the babies side by side smiling down at them.

"Well we certainly didn't plan for two." Lucerys says looking between you and the babies. "I wish I could have been there for you."

"you have been there Luce, we never could have predicted the exact time when the babies would come or the fact that there would be two." You assured him as he walked you towards the table. Pulling our a chair for Luce didn't hesitate to take the one next to you.

Aemond looked on as you two talked animatedly about the babies with the rest of the family.

"Hmm." looking away and walking to the opposite side of the table to the seat he assumed Luce once occupied.

***

The next morning Aemond woke in the library, he had fled there after the meal in order to take is mind off what you had said before. There was no way that you knew about Alys, how could you? if not then what did you mean by that? Maybe he misheard you, yes. he had misheard you.

"Though it seems you have grown quite fond of strong bastards as of late."

"Though it seems I have grown quite fond of strong bastards as of late."

Of course! of course that has to be it, you did seem overly fond of the 'Velarian' boy."

Walking through the halls Aemond comes across the Godswood, where he hears the familiar sound of your laughter.

A blanket laid out on the grass he sees you and Lucerys once again, with each of you cradling one of his children.

"Wife, here you are." He announced as he approached the small group. "You must have begun the day quite early, I could not find you in our chambers."

"Yes, Lucerys was just too excited for the boys to meet Arrax, so we all took a little trip to the dragon pits before we came to have our picnic."

"We spent quite some time here before the twins were born, it always seemed to calm them whenever they decided to kick up a storm." Luce informed his uncle.

'Hmm, Well mayhaps you would not mind another trip the the dragon pits so that my sons would meet Vhagar while we choose two eggs from the clutch that was just laid." Aemond suggests with a small smile.

It had always been important to you for the your children to be dragon riders or swordsmen or scholars, because Aemond could spend time with them as these were all things that he enjoyed. You two had talked endlessly about these things, choosing eggs for your children, Aemond being the one that would teach them to handle a sword, reading to them every night about the history of their great house.

"Actually Lucerys has done us the honor of choosing two eggs for the twins, they were placed in their cradles last night." You informed your husband smiling to Lucerys before looking to Aemond once again. "Besides I think the boys are too young to be introduced to Vhagar just yet, she is quite large. What if she hurt the boys?"

"I'm sure they will enjoy the experience much more when they are older." You added as Luce nodded in agreement.

"Hmm." Turning around and walking away, Aemond hears as Lucerys begins to talk about the boys learning to sail with him and Lord Corlys. 

***

"Emagon gevie se dōna dreams se skori ao wake va se ñāqatubis, muña kessa jorrāelagon ao sesīr tolī bona tubī. Kostilus skori ao sīmonagon kesā rhaenagon aōha olvie own zaldrīzes" You soflty whispered rubbing your finger along Armon's cheek before moving to his brother. 

"Are you speaking High Valarian?" Aemond asked as he entered your chambers while coo to Aemon laying him into his cot.

"Lucerys has been teaching me, he thinks speaking valarian to the boys as they grow older will help them when they begin their lessons." You replied walking over you the vanity talking a seat in front of the mirror.

"Yes it seems that my nephew has a great many opinion on what would be best for my sons" Aemond says coming to stand behind you looking at you're reflection through the mirror.

"Yes Luce cares very much for the boys," You confirmed picking up your brush. "I think he was the only person that was as excited as me for the baby."

"He seems to care very much for the boys." Aemond pointed out.

"Of course her cares, they are his cousins." You pointed out narrowing you eyes at him.

"Hmm, but his care seem to be that of someone closer such as a brother or perhaps a fath-." Aemond words are cut of as you quickly stand, turn around and strike him across the face.

"Don't. You. Dare." You seethed glaring up at your husband. "It would seem you learned more from Ser Criston than just combat." Closing your eyes and taking a deep breath you look back up at him before you started to let out a chuckle.

"I honestly don't understand why you are so upset." You spoke sitting back down in front of the mirror and continued to brush your hair. "Why you would accuse me of something like that, You should be thankful to Lucerys for taking over your duty as husband and father so that you might have more time to comfort your mistress."

Any delusional thought that Aemond had misheard you yesterday. "I mean I couldn't imagine loosing a child that close to birth, Lucerys provided me with such comfort during my pregnancy I doubt he would leave my side if I had gone through such a thing. Oh how Alys must feel to not have the comfort of my husband during this trying time."

"You know." Aemond stated keeping his eyes glued to the ground.

"Ironic isn't it. How you accuse me of treasons that would not only lead to my death but the death of our children, how you're the one who has been unfaithful yet I am willing to forgive you, I am willing to put this all in the past...as long as you keep it in the past."You assured him placing your hand on the cheek you had struck. "Or you might find the next thing lucerys takes from you is your wife and children."

Pulling a piece of paper from the table you hold it out to him. "This arrived today, from harrenhal." He slowly reaches out and grabs the letter. "Make your choice Aemond, her or us." You say letting go of the paper as you make your way to the twins resting in there cots.

Aemond watched as you made your way across the room before you turn and lock eyes with him. Making his way towards the fireplace his eyes never leave yours as he drops the letter into the flames.

With a small smile you hold out your hand towards your husband. Walking over Aemond takes your hand before placing a soft kiss on the back.

"You have no idea what I've done for this family." You say placing your head on his chest, wrapping you arms around his waist. "And it would be in your best interest, to not give me a reason to show you.

Part Three

Taglist 🏷: @watercolorskyy

#masterlist #hotd aemond #aemond targaryen x reader #lucerys velaryon #aemond targaryen #lucerys x reader #house of the dragon #hotd imagine #house of the dragon imagine

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

The thing about her musings on her youth in this album is not just about the spending her “prime” years with someone who ultimately couldn’t give her what she thought they both wanted (family, but also in general sense the happiness you get when you’re young and your whole lives are ahead of you).

There’s SO much about her youth in general here, and how the demons of the past have raised and broken her. How each of these experiences have chipped away at her youth. This whole album is give me back my girlhood, it was mine first.

It’s all the things she’s talking about had are part of the same big trauma of the loss of that youth and innocence. It’s snakegate and how Kim K and her lackeys deliberately set out to destroy Taylor’s reputation for sport, which ripped out Taylor’s last few grasps of that young adulthood freedom without her consent. It’s mulling the price she’s paid for spending her entire youth in the spotlight and becoming a commodity instead of a person. It’s looking at a friend’s child and wishing she could protect them from the world the way she wishes she could have been had she known. It’s putting your trust in your first love who ripped the rug out from under you and your faith along with it. It’s spending your time pining for your younger days in the haze of unspeakable loss. It’s carving off parts of yourself as you grow up to make yourself palatable to your peers and your partners and as a result not knowing what parts of you are left. It’s revisiting a love from your past when you still had it all, and after the initial frenzy realizing its hollow. And yes, it’s pouring your heart and soul into a relationship you think is forever and with each passing year the light in the window flickering dimmer and dimmer, only to realize the light wasn’t coming from your home after all, and you may lose your chance to find it again before it’s too late and the dreams you so desperately cling to vanish for good.

And that’s what the end message I think ends up being in So High School: she’s reclaiming the land as it were. All these things that were taken from her and that she gave up are up for a redo. And it’s not rewriting the past, it’s coming to the realization that all those parts are still within her but so is the good. That the freedom she gave up when she released her first album is still found in the backseat of a boy’s car all these years later. That she’s older and wiser and battleworn but that doesn’t mean she can’t find that joy and lightness. “I feel so high school when I look at you” is kind of a loaded statement from someone who didn’t really get to go to high school (both actually and metaphorically). “Bittersweet sixteen suddenly” (love that wordplay btw) because again— she’s been through so much that the feelings of new love that make her giddy like a girl are tinged because she’s been here before and also never been here before because she was never that kid.

(There’s also a whole tangent there comparing Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince to So High School and how fraught the first is vs the lightness of this one.)

That’s why this isn’t just a breakup album. It’s why she dredges up 2016 and Jake and Aaron’s son and childhood and high school and any other number of things. Because she has spent her entire youth and adulthood grappling with the issues that came to roost in TTPD, and while this whole experience underscores that you can never know what’s going on with someone (least of all Taylor, a stranger to us all), I also don’t think it’s a coincidence that she has stressed how much healthier and whole she is now. That is why this whole album is a bloodletting, but it’s not just about a broken relationship. It’s about a whole belief system that has stolen girlhood from her and she’s determined to piece back together in the aftermath of the autopsy.

#this was supposed to be one paragraph lol oops #the tortured poets department #writing letters addressed to the fire #as usual wcs comes in as one of the cornerstones of her discography

[justmeinadaze]

I Miss the Misery Part 2 (Steve X You)

Part One Here

Warnings: Toxic Daddy Stevie (but he wants to be better)/ Slightly Toxic Fem sub reader, SMUT, dirty talk, rough play, daddy kink (cause im me), choking, spanking, degrading, Slight Fluff, she loves him and he loves her but they both struggle with their feelings, ANGST, Jealous Steve AND Reader, Steve gets drunk after a bad experience with his father (he talks about it; elaborated), They both try to verbally hurt each so they say mean things to each other ( they call each other names, bring up past behavior, etc.) , cliff hanger ending!

Word Count: 7058

It had been a couple of weeks since your incident with your ex Steve Harrington. When you came home that night your boyfriend was still up waiting for you. You talked things through like any normal couple would and that night you both went to bed happy. Well, he did. You laid there for hours replaying the nights events in your head. 

You could still feel Steve’s hands on your hips where he clung to you as he thrust his big, thick cock into you roughly till your eyes rolled back. You could still hear his grunts and pants warming your ear as his sweaty body fell on top of yours. 

But more than anything, you kept going back to the conversation after. 

“Yeah, well, if we’re toxic then I’d rather go down with you than anyone else.”

“I just kept wishing they were you.”

“I feel like we can make this work.”

You had always believed the two of you could make your relationship work but the problem always was that he could never commit to it. He had you for two years in high school and he, quite literally, let you slip away. It wasn’t fair to you for him to think he could just show up one day and you’d drop everything to be with him especially when you knew it would end badly. 

A strong hand reached out from the darkness of an open door and yanked you into the room before slamming it shut. 

“What’s this I’m hearing about you going on a date with Ben Lomax?”, Steve asked sternly as he glared down at you. 

“Well, hello to you to, Harrington. I hope you had a good weekend.”

“Don’t play with me, Y/N.”

“What do you care? We’re not dating right? I can go out with whoever I want to.”

Butterflies flutter in your stomach as you watch his jealously rise. You liked amping him up like this so he’d take what’s his. 

“You’re mine, little girl.”

“Then claim me, Daddy. Make me yours.”

It felt so good having him take control the way he did even though you knew it wasn’t healthy. No… you couldn’t allow him to win this time. This time you needed to do what was right for you and Jacob. Rolling over onto your side, you wrapped your arms around his torso and pressed your face into his back, clinging to normality tightly as you finally drifted off to sleep. 

***

“Hey, baby.”, your boyfriend grinned as you sat beside him at his desk and he handed you some items in a grocery bag. “Thank you for coming by. You know how my mom is. I’d give her back these things myself but this project…”

“I know, honey. You’ve been working really hard.”, you reply encouragingly as you softly smile. 

The smell of his cologne hit you before the sound of his voice. Glancing down the hallway, you watched as Steve argued with someone over the phone as he sauntered confidently towards you both. Your body and attitude prepared for the battle that was sure to come but to your surprise he walked right past you as if you weren’t there. After angrily hanging up his phone, his face changed to a much softer demeanor as he grinned, opening his arms wide as a blond young lady eagerly jumped into them. 

“That’s Mr. Harrington’s new girlfriend I hear.”, Jacob whispers. “She’s a lot younger than him but I guess that’s expected when you have all the money in the world.”

You hadn’t heard a word he said, the fury bubbling in your stomach up to your chest. 

“I can play this game better.”

Fucking asshole. He wants to pretend I’m not here and try to make me jealous, go ahead! I’m not the same girl I was in high school. This won’t work. 

“Baby? Are you ok?”

“Hm? Yeah, sweetheart. I’m fine, just tired.”

“I understand. Hey, tonight we’re meeting at the bar downtown. It’s just going to be the team here. Would you want to go?”

Shifting you gaze their way again, you watched as Steve beamed down at the girl before tenderly kissing her lips. 

“Yeah, I think that sounds fun.”

########

“So Y/N, how is the new book coming along?”, Jacob’s coworker asked as you took a sip from the alcohol in your glass. 

“Good, thank you. I’m having some writers block but it’s not a big deal. Not as big a deal as what you guys have been working on.”

“Yeah, thankfully we’re almost near the end.”, another girl at the table sighs. “Mr. Harrington has really helped us out. He’s been buying us lunch for the office every day.”

“And letting us leave early on Fridays so we can have a bit of a break. He stays in the office to make up the time.”

You couldn’t help but smile at their praise. Steve had always been a complete asshole but even during your relationship with him you saw the compassion and kindness that hid under the snark.

“Y/N? Honey, are you alright?”, he cooed as he sat on the bench beside you. His long fingers tenderly reached out to dry the tears that were still falling down your cheeks. 

“I’m fine, Steve. You don’t have to…”, you tried to dismiss him as you waved your hand. 

“I know I don’t have to. You know me. You know I don’t do anything I don’t want to.” Steve firmly grabbed your wrists and turned your body to face him a bit more. “Now, what’s going on, babe?”

“My, uh, my grandfather died.”

At your revelation, you began to cry harder and he collected you in his arms, pressing your head to his chest. 

“Shit, Y/N. I’m so sorry. I know you two were really close. Everything’s ok, pretty girl. I’m right here.”

“Speak of the devil…Mr. Harrington! Hey! Why don’t you come sit with us?!”, one of Jacob’s friends shouted bringing you back to reality. 

Steve Harrington was the devil indeed with how delicious he looked dressed in his jeans and black button up shirt. His signature smile blinded the table as he grabbed his dates arm and headed towards you. 

“Hey guys. You don’t have to invite me. I’m sure you’re tired of dealing me for 40+ hours a week already.”

“Oh, come on. Join us. It’s no problem at all.”

The sound of your glass slamming into the table startled everyone including Steve as he finally gave you his attention. 

“Yeah, Steven. Not a problem at all. Take a seat.”

His head ticked to the side in amusement before taking a seat and pulling his date onto his lap making you cringe in annoyance. 

“Y/N apparently went to school with Mr. Harrington here.”, Jacob explained to his coworkers who were still fairly wide eyed at the way you addressed him. 

“That’s pretty cool. You two were friends?”

“Nope. Hardly even knew each other. Right, Harrington?”, you sassed. 

Turning away from you, he focused on the original question. 

“I wouldn’t say friends. We definitely knew of each other. Everyone in Hawkins did with it being a small town and all.”

Throughout the rest of the night, you constantly fumed in his direction every time he opened his mouth. His hands constantly roamed his date’s skin driving you insane every time she would lean back and nuzzle her face into his neck. In retaliation you tried to do the same with Jacob but you knew that was a lost cause because he wasn’t very keen on the PDA. 

You drank more and more until the world around you got hazy.

“How long have you two been together?”, someone asked as they gestured towards him and his date. 

“Um, about two weeks I believe.”

“Hm. About how long she’s been in the world.”, you hiccupped as you knocked back a shot on the table. “I mean…look at you, Barbie. You’re basically a fetus.”

“Y/N.”, Jacob whispered. “That was rude.”

“No, no Jacob. It’s ok. I see she hasn’t changed much. Y/N here had kind of a reputation for being bratty at school.”

“And Steve Harrington had a reputation for being a man slut.”

“Alright, I think we’re going to go home. Come on, babe.”, you boyfriend said sternly, gripping your arm. 

“How about you guys come to my house? It’s a lot closer and you can get her to bed so she can sober up.”, Steve replied casually. 

“Oh, Mr. Harrington, we couldn’t impose.”

“I insist. Come on, honey.”, he grins as he slaps the girl’s ass playfully. “It was nice spending time with you guys. Jacob, just follow me.”

***

It took you awhile to catch your bearings when your groggy eyes opened and you realized you weren’t at home. 

“Jacob?”

Glancing beside you, you noticed his peacefully sleeping frame beside you so you left him be as you got up to find a bathroom. Wherever you were it was a very nice place with the updated furnishings and new home smell. 

It took you a moment to find a bathroom but after you did, you shut the door and ran the cool water over you face. 

What happened last night? I remember Steve showing up at the bar…a dizzying car ride…lips on mine…angry eyes. Maybe Jacob was upset for how I behaved. I need to make it up to him. He doesn’t deserve me acting like a drunk fool in front of his friends. 

Sighing, you opened the door to head back to bed but was met with a strong hand around your throat pushing you backwards into the bathroom and closing the door. 

“Are we sober now, little girl? Good because I really want this to sink in.”, Steve growled as his face hovered above yours. “If you ever disrespect me like that again I’ll throw you over my knee and spank you till you can’t handle it. I don’t care where we are or if your fucking boyfriend is in the room. Do I make myself clear?”

“What…what…I don’t remember…”

“You don’t…don’t…remember?”, he mocked. “Well, let me refresh your memory. I told your idiot boyfriend to bring you back to my house so you could rest because you were insulting my girlfriend and embarrassing yourself in front of his coworkers. When we got here, I showed him my spare rooms and left you guys alone. While I was getting ready for bed myself, the door was open and you were on your fucking knees IN MY HOUSE sucking another man’s dick AND CALLING HIM DADDY!”, Steve scolded roughly in your ear through clenched teeth.

Finally gathering your faculties, you pushed at his chest causing him to release you but only long enough to invade your space again as his face hovered just above your own. 

“I’M your Daddy.”

“Not anymore.”

“Oh? Did you also forget that you showed up at my office two weeks ago begging for my cock and calling me Daddy? Or was that some other pathetic little girl?”

“I wouldn’t be surprised with how many women you’ve fucked in your lifetime.”

“Said the whore. Let’s not forget how many guys you were with in Hawkins.”

“I wasn’t with anyone! I went on dates but the only person I ever fucked was you!”

“Yeah right. Do you expect me to believe that? Hell, you cheated on your boyfriend with me!”

“Like it matters if you believe me or not. Technically I was single in school. You couldn’t bother to be seen with me because I was fucking poor. Jesus. You say I’m pathetic but the truth is you are; a pathetic little daddy’s boy. Couldn’t even start or find a company of your own. You had to play sloppy seconds to his business!”

Steve’s palm covered your mouth roughly as he pushed you forcefully against the wall. His breathing became erratic as he heavily panted trying to control his temper. His eyes stared daggers into yours for what felt like forever till something in the air snapped and he replaced his hand with his lips. 

It was a rough kiss fueled by anger and you felt your pussy flutter at the notion. Riled up Steve was always one of your favorite versions of him because he claimed what was his in the best way possible. This is what you wanted. You wanted him to realize that he hated the idea of you not being his and fought to have you by his side. The problem was he did claim you but never truly made you his. 

Your arms pushed at his chest but his grip tightened as he held your wrists to your sides. Moving them to one hand, he utilized his now free palm to smack you before grabbing your cheeks with his fingers. 

“Do you want to stop? Say the word and we’ll stop.”, he growled. “Answer me.”

“No.”

“No what?”

“No, I don’t want you to stop.”

“I didn’t think so.”

Aggressively, he turned you around and pushed your body against the sink as he moved aside your panties while freeing his cock from his boxers. After spitting into his hand and stroking it along his shaft, you both groaned as he guided himself into you promptly setting a rough pace. 

“Baby?”

Your eyes widen at the sound of your boyfriend’s voice on the other side of the bathroom door and you see Steve smirk from his reflection in the mirror. 

“Y-Yeah?”

“Are you ok? I woke up and you weren’t there.”

The man inside you slowed his rhythm, dragging his length pleasantly along your tight walls before slamming himself back into your pussy making your eyes roll as your nails dug into the arm he had around your stomach.

“I-I’m okay, Jacob. Ahhh… I’ll be right there, sweetheart.”

“Yeah, you will, baby girl. You’ll—mmm—crawl back in beside him full of my cum like the fucking whore you are.”, Steve whispers, his lips attaching to your neck as your head falls against his shoulder. 

“Okay. Are you sure you’re all right?”

Picking up his pace again, his cock overwhelmed your senses as you tried to control yourself from screaming his name. 

“YES! I’m fine. I’ll be right there!”

“Alright, honey. I love you.”

Steve’s eyes met yours in the mirror, softening slightly when he saw pain flash through them. 

“I love you to.”

He knew you weren’t saying it to your boyfriend but to him, however, Jacob thinking your love was meant for him infuriated Steve as he spanked your ass hard before wrapping both arms around you to hold you still as he slammed his lower half into your own. 

“Who’s your Daddy, little girl?”

“You are, Steve, please.”

“Say it again so I know you fucking understand.”

“You are, Daddy. Please. Let me cum. I’ll—fuck—I’ll be a good girl. I promise.”

“No you won’t but that’s ok. I don’t mind putting you in your place.”

As his fingers find their way to your clit, you bite your bottom lip to stifle the loud moan that wants to break free. Placing your arms and hands over his own, you cling to him as your body trembles and you cum hard around him. His rhythm falters and you hear him grunt in your ear before you feel his release spill inside of you. 

Steve pants as his softening cock pulls out of your aching hole and tucks himself back into his boxers as he takes a seat on the edge of the tub. Maybe it was the headspace you were still in or just seeing him look so upset hit that soft spot in your heart but you couldn’t help it when you lowered yourself to your knees and crawled to his side, placing your head on his thigh as you hugged his legs. 

“I’m sorry I called him Daddy.”

His large palm reached out to pet your head making you sigh as you closed your eyes. 

“No, you’re not. Yeah you were drunk but your subconscious definitely wanted to hurt me and that would be the way to do it. It’s not like I didn’t do the same thing by bringing a young, beautiful girl around. I knew she’d piss you off.”

“Why do we have to be this way to each other, Steve?”

“I think the real question, sweetheart, is why do we like it?”

“Why do I like it so much with you?”, you whisper. As your tears begin to fall, he leans down to collect you in his arms and places you on his lap. “I tried, whatever the fuck this is, with other men and every time I got hurt. They were you times 10. Then I met Jacob and—”

“He’s the exact opposite.” 

“And not in a good way.”, you sigh as you caress his face with your palm. “Steve, I didn’t have sex with anyone else when we were in school. The first time I was every with someone who wasn’t you was after I left. I hated it… he was too rough and almost every conversation we had was a fight.” Turning his face towards you, you tenderly kiss his forehead. “I swear, I never called any of them Daddy. They would beg me to but it always felt wrong. Only you ever knew how to take care of me like that. I just wish you could have taken care of me in every other way.”

After softly kissing his lips, you crawled off his lap and headed back to bed to curl up in your boyfriend’s arms that you wished were Steve’s.

##################

Another week went by in uneventful domestic bliss as you continued to be the best girlfriend you could. Today Jacob and his coworkers were celebrating finishing the project they had been working on with a camping trip up north. He had invited you to come along but after what happened you thought it best to stay put. You also weren’t really a fan of sleeping outdoors without AC but you kept that little tidbit to yourself. 

You utilized the alone time to work on your novel and get things done around the house but after a couple of hours, you found yourself extremely bored. Throwing on your jacket and grabbing your keys, you headed to a bar down the way ordering the strongest drink you could think of. 

Once again, the smell caught your attention first before the snarky laugh that followed. 

“Of course. Of course. Of fucking course, YOU of all people would be here.”, Steve giggled drunkenly as he knocked back his beverage and signaled the bartender for a refill. 

He looked completely disheveled, his hair a mess due to his fingers running frustratingly through it. The suit jacket he had worn was hanging on the back of the chair while his white button up shirt was untucked and the sleeves were rolled up to his elbows. 

“Steve? What happened?”

“Like you care.”

You should have walked away; left him there to wallow by himself but this nagging in your stomach wouldn’t allow you to as your worry for him took control. 

“I do care. Come on, Steve, talk to me.”

Spinning in his seat, he leaned his side obnoxiously over the bar as his glassy eyes met yours. 

“What happened. Hm…Y/N wants to know what the fuck happened. Well, we finished our project at work today. Managed to sign a huge fucking client worth millions! But does that impress my father? Oh, no. Fucker has to fly up here just to berate me and scold me on what we need to do next. This isn’t my first day on the job. I’ve watched that asshole work my entire life and he can’t even let go for one God damn second to see I did something good!”

“You’re right. I remember he was always hard on you. I saw him scream at you once after a game even though the team won and you made the most points. He said you didn’t try hard enough.” He nods at the memory, chugging the content of the glass and again asking for more. You discreetly signaled to the bartender that this was the last one as you focus your attention back on the broken man in front of you. “I hope you know he’s wrong. I know how hard you worked on this.”

“Yup. I know, Y/N. I’m not a fucking idiot. Why are you even here? I’m toxic remember?”

“You are but that doesn’t mean I want anything bad to happen to you. Let me take you home.”

“Fuck you. I can fucking take myself home.”, he growls, finishing the last of his beverage. 

“Ok. Can you at least text me and let me know you got home safely?”

After rubbing his shoulder comfortingly, you put on your jacket and pay for your drink but as you turn to leave, a warm palm abruptly grabs your wrist. 

“Y/N, um… C-Can you come home with me? I promise I won’t make a move or anything. I just… don’t want to be alone.”

***

“Oh shit!”, he laughs as he falls through the door after turning the key. 

“Where’s your girlfriend tonight?”, you ask as you guide him towards his bedroom, holding his waist as he stumbles from side to side. 

“Girlfriend? Oh, you mean Barbie?”

“That’s not really her name is it?”

Steve snorts as he chuckles, throwing himself onto the mattress and throwing his arm over his eyes. 

“No…it’s, um, Tiffany. No, Erica…Fuck, I don’t know. I haven’t seen her since you and your idiot spent the night.”

After you flashed him a sassy smirk he didn’t see, you began getting him ready for bed starting with his shoes. You thought he had finally passed out but when you grabbed his arm to take off his watch and class ring from college, his eyes opened, and he tilted his head to watch you. 

“Where can I put these?”, you murmur with a soft smile.

Silently, he gestures towards the bedside table and you reach for the drawer to delicately place them inside. Something catches your eye, however, as you pull out a well, worn picture of the two of you in high school. Steve rarely ever took photos with you back then. Nothing the two of you ever did was ever genuinely photo worthy since you two were sneaking around most of the time. When this image was taken, you were supposed to take pictures for a class project and brought the camera with you to his house after your photoshoot with your group.

“Why do you have a camera? I thought you wanted to be a writer.”, he asks after noticing it in your bag and taking it out.

“Oh, so you ARE listening to me when I talk?”

“A ha ha. You’re so funny, Y/N.”

“It’s for a class project we’re working on.”, you giggle.

“Is the project sexy basketball captains?”, Steve joked as he held the device high in the air away from your reach. “Handsome Men at Hawkins High? Oh! Or Gods in Bed?”

“No. It’s a project about Hawkins jerks who steal stuff and are TERRIBLE in bed.”

You playfully tackle him onto the mattress and lightly wrestle with him till he has both arms around you with your face against his chest. Gently tugging your hair, his lips land on your forehead before traveling down to your own for a tender kiss. 

Holding his arm high above you both, he presses his cheek to your own as you both smile and the flash blinds your eyes. 

“Where did you get this?”, you whisper as he bends towards you and squints his eyes at the image. 

“Ummmm… stole it from your room…snuck in.”, Steve sighs as he rolls onto his back and closes his eyes. “You were…gone…vanish from…Hawkins.”

Swallowing the lump in your throat, you turn off his bed side lamp but as you begin to stand, his slurred voice fills your ears. 

“Please don’t go…”

Grabbing a throw blanket, you toss it over you both as you curl up into his side and rest your palm on his chest, letting the comforting rhythm of his breathing lull you to sleep.

############

The feeling of lips on your shoulder causes your eyes to flutter open.

You had rolled over in the night and were currently facing Steve’s bland, gray bedroom wall as soft hands roamed your skin. Pretending to still be asleep, you melted into his touch as you pushed your back into his chest. Fingers gently caressed your stomach and up your shirt as his mouth continued to travel towards your neck. 

Quickly moving some of your hair away from your face, Steve kissed your cheek as his palm massaged your breasts briefly before gliding back down to your stomach. You could feel his eyes watching you as you subtly moaned, the bulge in his slacks pressing against your clothed ass. 

You allowed your lower half to grind against him as his groan grumbled low in your ear. Moving one of his arms above your head, you reached up to intertwine your fingers with his as his other hand slipped through the waistband of your pants and under your panties. 

“Daddy.”, you panted as he guided his middle and ring fingers inside of your core. 

Steve didn’t respond verbally, his teeth gently grazing your earlobe as he rolled his hips against you matching the pace of his digits.

“Fuck, yes. Please… Talk to me, baby.”, you beg. 

Again, he doesn’t answer, releasing your hand to wrap his arm around your chest and hold you to him as he moved his fingers so fast between your legs that the sound of your slick filled the room. 

Your body trembles against his as the dam breaks and your nails dig into his skin as you cum. 

Rolling over on to your back, your eyes try to find his but he hastily diverts them as he focuses on pulling down your pants. Gripping his chin, you force him to look at you. 

“Talk to me, baby.”, you repeat. 

“Why are you here?”

His question genuinely threw you off as you scanned his face searching for a reason. 

“You asked me to. You said you didn’t want to be alone.”

“Yeah but WHY are you here, Y/N? You left me, you have a boyfriend, you think I’m a bad person yet you’re here.”

“I thought you wanted to be with me. That’s why you said what you said a few weeks ago. Why do you care? I’m just the girl you fuck to feel better right? RIGHT?!”

“THAT’S RIGHT!”, Steve shouts but even he realizes he sounds insincere. “You should go home.”

“What if I don’t want to go home.”

“I wasn’t asking. Get your shit and get out of my house.”

“No.”

Angrily, he rolled out of bed and grabbed your ankle, tugging you to the edge of the bed. Before he could take hold of your arm to lift you, you smacked his cheek blind siding him as you ran out of the bedroom and towards a guest room with the intent of shutting him out. 

Steve was much faster than you, wrapping his arm around your waist and lifting you off your feet as he carried you down the hall towards the stairs. 

“Why do you do this, Steve?! Why do you push me away?!”

“Because, little girl, like you said, I’m toxic. I’m just like my father and I’m sorry to say, honey, you aren’t at the level of my mother. You’re the side piece trash my dad throws out when he’s done.”

As soon as he reaches the bottom step, you take hold of the banister and manage to wiggle out of his hold, running towards the kitchen to allow for the barrier of the island between you two. 

“Said the man who has a picture of me in his nightstand. It seemed pretty worn too, Harrington. How long have you had it? How many times have you taken it out to look at over the years?”

“I look at it when I need a reminder of how low I sunk when it came to women back then. Thankfully I do much better now.”

“Oh yeah? Like Barbie? Wait, I mean Tiffany…Erica?”, you snicker sarcastically. “Couldn’t even bother to remember her name. Do you remember any of their names? Hell, was I the longest ‘relationship’ you had?!”

He lunges to the side but you duck out of the way just in time as you move around the island. 

“Oh shit, Steven. I was wasn’t I? Even in school you had all these women at your side but they were never yours. Why is that? Because if you had been in a real relationship, I never would have continued whatever the fuck we had. Didn’t have the balls to?”

You watch his face with immense satisfaction as his eyes get darker, filling with even more fury. 

“And that’s what pisses you off the most, huh? You say I’m the side piece but the fact of the matter is you are… and that scares you. I could throw you away just like your dad did to his whores… just like he does with you… Yet instead of standing up for yourself and claiming me; proving to me you can be a good man; you act like a child. You couldn’t even tell your daddy to fuck off which is why you went to the bar to get wasted.”

Shaking your head, you size him up and down with your eyes in disgust. 

“You’re not my Daddy, little boy.”

The calmness that washed over his face frighted you a bit, signaling to you that you needed to tread carefully. You had only ever seen him this way once before back in high school…the first time.

“Steve?”

“Jesus fucking Christ. What the fuck do you want?!”, the boy growls from his place on the bleachers in the now empty gymnasium.

“I don’t mean to bother you. I don’t know if you remember me but we have a couple of classes together—”

“Wonderful. Go away.”

His gruff tone shakes you a bit but you were determined to say what you wanted to say. 

“Ok. I, um, I just wanted to tell you that I heard what your parents…your dad… said and I just wanted you to know that…he’s wrong. I think you did amazing out there tonight. Honestly, I think you do awesome every game but…”

The jock’s angry yes shoot up to look at you as he scans you over. 

“Yeah. Thanks…”

“Y/N. No problem. I’ll, uh, I’ll leave you be now.”

Reaching out abruptly, his hand grips your wrist and yanks you in one motion on to his lap so you were straddling his waist facing him. You should have gasped and hit him, called him a pervert or asshole, and immediately got away from him but the way he was looking up at you with those heart broken eyes… 

“You’re a very nice pretty girl, aren’t you?” You blushed at his calm, seductive tone as your hands balanced yourself on his shoulders. “Can I return the favor?”

He fucked you right there on the bleachers not caring if any one saw either of you or if you were embarrassed by someone walking in and catching you two. Steve used you till he was spent and he wasn’t gentle by any means. You loved it and he knew it as he smirked up or down at you every time you came. 

He didn’t chase you this time as you left the kitchen and ran down the hall. You didn’t know why until the man rounded a sudden corner and wrapped his palm around your throat. Pushing you backwards, he guided you towards the sofa before taking a seat and hurling your front half over his lap.

You squirmed as he held you down, yelping when his hand came down hard on your behind. 

“It’s been too long since you’ve been punished properly, little girl. Between the disrespect, attitude, and being a little whore, I think it’s time I put you in your place.” You wiggled against his hold but he was firm as one of his arms pressed into your shoulder blades. “Stop moving!”, Steve shouted as his hand came down harder than before. 

“Ow…Steve…”

You yelped as his palm came down again a couple more times. 

“It seems, Y/N, that you keep forgetting who I am but don’t worry. We’ll make sure it sticks this time. If this is the only way to get through to you, so be it.”

“Steve…please…OW!”, you whine when he spanks you again. 

“Don’t act like this isn’t turning you on. I bet if we pull off these panties, you’d be dripping like the little disobedient slut you are.”

After hitting you again, he yanks down your underwear making you groan as he slides his finger through your slick. 

“See? Didn’t I just make you cum? Look how wet you are. I told you before, honey. Pissing each other off is the shit that really gets us going.”

Minutes passed but it felt like hours as he continued to spank you turning you into a sobbing mess. Your ass was extremely sore and marked up enough that you would need to come up with an excuse if Jacob saw them. 

“Steve, please…”, you begged. “How many more?”

“However…many…more…it…takes!”, he shouted near your ear as he hit your behind between each word. “Who am I, Y/N?”

Circling his thumb along your clit, he didn’t allow you a moment to breathe as he built you up and your brain blanked. 

“Answer me, little girl!”

“DADDY! You’re Daddy, Steve.”

“Damn right. I’m not some side piece you throw away. I’m fucking Daddy.”, he growled. “People like you and my parents think I’m nothing but I’m NOT. Women scream my name almost every night. I’m the CEO of a huge firm. I make a ton of fucking money. Why isn’t that enough, huh?!”

As his palm connected with your red, bruised skin, you came drenching his lap with your arousal. His chest rose and fell in heavy breaths as he tried to calm down, Steve’s gaze shifting to you when he heard your small sniffles. 

As carefully as he could, he lifted you up and turned you around till you were sitting properly on his lap with your face in the nook near his shoulder. While you continued to cry, his hands massaged your arms while he tenderly played with your hair. 

“What color are you at right now, honey?”

One of your arms rose to circle around his neck as you softly kissed his skin.

“Green, Daddy.”, you whisper. 

Steve curtly nodded as his eyes remained forward while he continued to pet your head, allowing you time to come back down. 

“Are you ok?”, he asked in a tone you had never heard from him before. He sounded almost…afraid. Lifting your head, your palm reaches for his cheek and turns his face so his eyes can meet yours. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to cross a line. I didn’t mean to…hurt you.”

Placing your forehead on his, he sighs as your fingertips run along the slight stubble over his chin and up to his lips. 

“I don’t mind you hurting me.”

“You’re not supposed to lie to me, baby girl, remember?”, he smirks as a breathy laugh escapes his chest. “You like when I’m rough with you in bed. You like pushing me to rile me up just like I do with you to see if you will because I know you’re a fucking brat.”

Steve’s grin grows as you blush, knowing he’s telling the truth. 

“The problem is you and I don’t know where the line is. It always seeped out into our day to day and into my insecurities. That’s what you don’t like. You don’t like me using you and breaking your heart. Just like I don’t like watching you cry. Not like this anyway.”

Lifting you into his arms, he carried you back to his bedroom and into the bathroom where you marveled at his massive clawfoot tub. After getting the bath ready, he holds your hand as he guides you but you pause before you sit. 

“Will you sit with me, Daddy?”

“Yeah, honey, I can do that.”

After waiting patiently for him to disrobe, you allow him to climb in behind you and take a seat as you lean against his chest. His large palms run along your shoulders and down your arms making you sigh as you tilt back to kiss his cheek. 

“You were always enough for me, Steve Harrington.” His eyes meet your own as you continue. “The problem was I was never enough for you.”

“Y/N, I’m moving to New York.” Your eyes widen as move away from him and scan his face for lies. “I was only supposed to be here for this project and then run the company as a whole from over there. I…I never expected to see you again. I…”, he pauses as he tries to collect his thoughts. “I want you to come with me.”

“Steve…I can’t…”

“Yes you can. I feel like we can work on this if we can be together. I know we can learn the line and just keep this in the bedroom without going too far and being toxic.”

“We had so many more problems than you being jealous and screaming things at me.”

“Y/N, I don’t want anyone else. I’m not the same guy I was. I won’t cheat. I won’t hurt you. I’ll claim you… I DO claim you. You’re mine, baby.”

“You just told me an hour ago that I’m just the girl you fuck and I should get the fuck out of your house.”

“I’m not perfect. Truth be told, like you said, I AM afraid of losing you again so I lashed out. I didn’t mean what I said.”

“I don’t believe you.”, you whisper. 

“Then why are you here?”

“You said—”

“No. You’re your own woman with your own free will. You still could have gone home. You still love me and I love you, sweetheart…so fucking much.”

His arms wrapped around you, hugging you to him as you began to disassociate. You did still love him; you always had even after you left but you left for a reason. You stayed away for a reason. If you and he were having this discussion 5 years ago you would know immediately that he was just doing whatever he could to appease you without really hearing you and hurt you again a few weeks later. What killed you was if this was 5 years ago and he said he was moving you would have said yes without thinking. 

Now you were overthinking and fear was taking over. 

What if things just went back to the way they were? He seems sincere but a lot of his behavior has been the same. But he said he wanted to work on that and with me. Steve said he was finally ready to claim me and that he loved me…

But what about Jacob? He’s been such a caring and patient good man. I can’t hurt him like this especially if there’s a chance Steve could hurt me again. 

You should have voiced your concerns to him and talked about it like adults. You should have sat on his couch and heard out his plans for success when it came to your relationship together. You should have listened and expressed everything you needed to but you didn’t.

“You knew what this was…”

Steve’s entire demeanor stiffened as you whispered the words he screamed at you the night before you left. 

“I’m sorry, Y/N. I didn’t quite catch that. Do you have the balls to say it louder?”

Rising to your feet, you grabbed a nearby towel, wincing when it grazed your behind as you wrapped it around your body.

“I said you knew what this was. It’s not my fault you caught feelings.”

He laughed to himself as he climbed out of the tub allowing the water to drench his bathroom as he headed for the bedroom. 

“Keeping going, honey. But really twist the knife and make it hurt. That’s what it will take for what you’re doing to work.” Grabbing your clothes off the floor, he tossed them in your direction as your eyes narrowed. “You’re trying to hurt me, right? To push me away because you’re scared of actually taking that leap and giving me a chance?”

Your glassy eyes shifted away from him as you threw your shirt over your head and pulled on your underwear. 

“Because that’s what I did.” You froze as he continued, slowly moving your way as he spoke. “Why do you think I fucked Lori that night? Y/N, you told me you loved me and it scared the hell out of me. I was a popular, rich, Harrington… I was supposed to become my father. I was supposed to cheat, run a business, and make a ton of money by any means necessary.”

Stopping at your side, his fingers gripped your chin forcing you to turn and look at him. 

“All I wanted to do was run away with you… but I panicked and hurt you instead causing you to run away without me. Y/N, I knew I fucked up when I climbed through your window and you were gone. I lost the one person that actually gave a damn about me and who I genuinely cared about. I’d like another chance and I promise you won’t regret it.”

“I already do.”, you murmured as you buttoned your jeans and began walking down his stairs towards his front door.

“Oh, Y/N?”, he called nonchalantly.

“What, Steven!?”, you shout as you glare up at his still naked frame leaning over the second-floor banister. 

“You forgot your phone.”, he says calmly flashing you the screen that was currently illuminating a picture of you and your boyfriend as his call came through. Panic flowed through your entire body as his thumb moved the green dot. 

“Y/N’s phone, this is Steve Harrington.”

####################

@daysinthephoenix @sophiejayne-illustrations713 @livosssblog

#steve harrington #joe keery #stranger things #steve harrington smut #steve harrington stranger things #steve harrington angst #joe keery smut #joe keery fanfiction #stranger things fanfiction #toxic!steve harrington #mean steve #fan fiction #steve harrington x you #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x y/n smut #spotify #Spotify

[arioloyal]

Sepandarmazgan

(King baldwin iv x reader part 5)

Warning: none!

How it feels to rest

On your patient lips

To eternal bliss

I'm so glad to know

Today, before sunrise, after the king's suggestion, y/n and baldwin iv left the palace without informing anyone. The hooves of their horses raised dust on the way. They passed everywhere , enjoying the clean air and the absolute silence of the dawn. The crows began to crow and the clothes spread on the ropes in front of the village houses danced and waved in the wind.

Then Baldwin pulled on his horse's reins with one hand and pointed to an oak tree on a hill far away. After getting there, y/n spread the long cloth that was with her under the tree and both of them sat and looked at the sky that was slowly turning to light red and orange.

The sound of adhan came from far away. lady y/n said under her breath: "When I arrived in Jerusalem, I saw this tree on my way first and I sat here. I met someone who said that your sermons can take all the sadness out of any heart, and you know how much I I am a curious person."

Baldwin IV did not respond. He stood there motionless as if he had traveled to another world. His eyes were looking far away. Meanwhile, y/n picked up a large bowl and walked over to the river to fill it with water. she returned and placed a bowl of water and some dates and walnuts in front of him.

:" I was there that day and witnessed all the events.I saw how some templars looked at you. Willingly or unwillingly, you ignite the fire of anger in them. I have no longer the power and ability to suppress them. I don't even like to predict what calamities can befall you. Then I can no longer protect you."

:" I am not an enemy to anyone, I am against the conspiratorial nature of some of them. The world is always full of sinners who wear holiness clothes. Jerusalem is the land of conscience. Sometimes, order, law and words are not enough. The only thing that always It's worth it, it's only love. The love of God . I came here to ask for forgiveness, but I had no idea that I was going to be the king's companion."

"I wish one day I could experience the love like you..."

Lady y/n turned her head, probably so he wouldn't see her laughing. :" If God wills, you will definitely reach it. The place where words lose their meaning."

He took a deep and heavy breath, in this world, they were the only ones who could drive each other crazy out of excitement. Whenever Y/n was with him, she felt like a young girl who was ready to learn new things at any moment, she had the feeling of a caring mother, and she was like a lotus flower that was ready to bloom. She would flourish, she would become a woman.

:"You say that if God wills it for me, I will reach it. What exactly do you mean by that? Does it mean that it is in my destiny?"

Lady y/n nodded and said, "Yes, that counts as well. But we shouldn't have false beliefs about fate. I can't say what fate is, but I can say what it isn't. destiny doesn't mean that the path of our life is predetermined. That a person after every tragedy says, "there is nothing more i can do!This was my destiny" is a sign of ignorance. Destiny is only at the crossroads. It is up to man to choose the path.

In fact, we are neither in control of our lives nor condemned to it.

He moved a little closer to y/n and adjusted the white scarf on her head and tucked her black hair behind her ear. he was close enough that y/n could smell him. The smell of wood, amber and rained soil...

:" I brought you here to ask you an important question. away from everyone. After these events, I have become more determined to protect you at any cost. Now it's your turn to choose between this dilemma. .."

:"Dilemma...?"

:" I saw you as a person who loves not only beauty but also ugliness. I trusted you in any situation because I knew you deserve it. You will one day become a great person in this land. But I'm not here for too long. I will not be there to see that day."

He held her hand, it was pleasantly warm.

:" Jerusalem and I need you and we are fascinated by you in all the way... are you willing to stay here?"

:"Yes, my lord if you wish...!"

:" No hear it all before you answer...

would you marry me?

Lady y/n felt like the blood froze in all her veins for a moment. The world stopped moving. her happiness, like the life of her king, was short. For a moment, she imagined the farewell . that day. which would destroy heart. But she was glad that she could at least have him from now on.

she came here in search of divine love. But at this moment, she was blessed with divine and material love at the same time...

[To be continued]...

#baldwin iv #kingdom of heaven #king baldwin iv #kingdom of heaven 2005 #the leper king #imagine #kingdom of heaven fanfiction #kingdom of heaven fanfic #fan fiction #fandom #medieval #love #aesthetic #ao3 fanfic #baldwin iv x reader #king baldwin iv x reader

[fishsticksloser]

hii so this is kinda like. self indulgent 😭 but could you write platonic spiderverse headcanons w a gn spider-reader who’s 12?(got bitten at around 9-10)

hopefully that’s ok, if not it’s fine tho sorry 😭😭

Young!Spiderperson

Spiderverse + gn!reader

Warnings: slight angst, platonic fluff, pretty short

A/N: I'm so tired. I wish I could sleep... We don't need sleep... We only need Astarion... Also before you all yell at me... Noir was bitten at 16 in the comics and says he's been spiderman for 3 years in ItSV meaning he's 19 then 20/21 in AtSV. Same with Hobie, bitten at 16 and says he's been spiderman for 3 years making him 19-20

Miles

He was only 14 when he was bitten

So he's very understanding and wants to help in any way he can

He's thankful he had Peter to help him learn how to be Spider-Man

He can't imagine being 9/10 and doing it alone

Miles has had a fair share of difficult times

But being so young and going through that

Terrifying to him

He will beg his parents to adopt you

Pav

A lot like Miles

He cares so much

He's such a good listener too

And he wants to do everything he can to make your job easier

He was bitten at 14/15, so he's fairly knowledgeable on how hard this is

So never once has he yelled at you for how you performed

Pav spends a lot of time with you

He thinks you're so amazing and he tells you that every time he sees you

He might be your number one fan... Might there might be someone who has him beat

Gwen

She was bitten at 12/13

So the fact that you've already been spiderman for a few years just...

Breaks her heart

It was hard enough at the age she was bitten

She can't imagine having that pressure, those powers

And still be in elementary school

She decides to help you

Not just learn how to use your powers (cause you've been doing it for 2-3 years at this point)

But she decides to be your confidant

She wants you to come to her if you need help or guidance

Noir

He will adopt you

In a heartbeat, are you kidding?

Did you see how quickly he basically adopted Peni?

Yeah... he basically adopted a 14 year old while he was 19

But being so close to Peni, he understood the termoil she went through after she was bitten at 8

This man will fight for you

Tooth and nail

Especially since the spider goddess won't let him die...

He will do whatever it takes to protect and empower you

#1 dad young dad

Hobie

I said someone might have Pav beat for your number one fan...

And this man here might have him beat

He's a punk

Are you kidding?

He is astonished by you

He had his own problems being 16 and a crime fighting rockstar in his universe

But you...

You were just a "wee thing"

He is your biggest fan

Constantly encouraging you to do better

Be better

Be amazing

He is definitely upset that you had so much on your shoulders so young

He wishes he could go back and take it so you could be a kid

Miguel

As if anyone could be more upset by what has happened to you

Losing his daughter at such a young age

He was outraged that you were put under this

He makes you a little escape at HQ

He absolutely builds forts with you

Whatever you want

He just wants to make you happy

You didn't deserve this

Really none of them did, but at 9/10?

You never got to experience what it was like to be a normal kid

Peter

Dad #2 on this list

Peter adopts you instantly, on sight

He's 100% 'kidnapping' you

He treats you like his own kid

You wanna spend the night at his?

He doesn't even have to ask MJ cause she'll agree

Smores, popcorn, Kool aid, you name it he'll get it

He wants you to experience real kid things without all the pressure

Cause you don't deserve that

You shouldn't have had to go through that

And he plans to make you feel loved and appreciated every day of his life

#{fish answers•°} #spiderman india #spiderman marvel #spiderman noir #spiderman 2099 #spiderpunk #spiderman #spiderverse #across the spiderverse #into the spider verse #spiderman miles morales #spiderverse miles #gwen stacy #spider gwen #pavitr prabhakar #atsv pavitr #peter benjamin parker #spider noir #hobie brown #atsv hobie #miguel 2099 #miguel o'hara #peter b parker #spiderverse 2 #spiderman into the spiderverse #miguel spiderverse #hobie spiderverse #miles morales #spiderverse pavitr #gn reader

[tragedyofdevotion]

Love and Loyalty

Xiao has known you ever since he swore loyalty to Rex Lapis. You were his senior, his mentor and the object of his admiration. If possible, he wanted to stay like that forever, fighting by your side and protecting the people of Liyue. However, it seemed fate had different plans for him.

“How could you, y/n? Why would you betray Rex Lapis?” holding up your shoulders, Xiao asked you again and again. As the one closest to you, he had his suspicions about this. And that’s why, he had been spying on you, but he wished that he was just being paranoid. Unfortunately, it seems that his prayers weren’t answered.

“I am sorry to say this, Alatus. But never my loyalty has lied in the Warrior God.” Supported by your spear, you stood proudly under the moonlight, a faraway look in your eyes as you reminisce about your past. Despite the situation, Xiao couldn’t help but thought that you were still as ethereal as the day he first met you.

“Are you talking about the Goddess of Rain? Her passing was truly a tragedy. But it has been more than a century since she has decreased. I thought you have become one of our comrades after overcoming countless struggles together with us, together with the people of Liyue.” It was not that he cannot understand where you are coming from. But Xiao did not want to accept that the days you have spent with him were all a lie.

“Is that the reason why you are joining Osial’s side? You, of all people should know that he is far worse than Rex Lapis.”

“That is not the only reason. But Alatus won’t the able to understand. You are too young.”

He felt irked at the term. Just because you were born a few decades earlier than him, you always brushed him aside when discussing serious matters.

“Please don’t underestimate me. Even though I can’t compare to you, I have lived my fair share of years.”

“Sorry, sorry.” You smiled a little after saying that. Perhaps you thought his response childish. “I didn’t mean to treat you like a kid. But you still haven’t experience love, do you?”

Love, that was a term he had often heard from mortals. He didn’t know or didn’t think that it is necessary to know such useless emotion. But after meeting with you, he was able to encounter both the bliss and agony this feeling had brought upon. If only he would be able to convey it to you honestly…

“I…That’s… Do you love Osial?” He felt a terrible pain from his heart when he realized your implication.

“Yes. I do.” Another pain, worse than any injury he had ever gained from crossing sword with his enemies, ran through his chest.

“But Osial has Beisht as his wife. And I have heard rumors that he has other numerous other concubines.” Collecting himself, he said the most rational thing he could possibly think at the moment. However, he quickly regretted it after seeing the hurt on your face.

“It is alright.” You said with a sad smile. “Because I do not plan for this affection to be known. I do know that I am neither as dignify and graceful as Beisht nor as soft and pretty as his shrine maidens.”

Oh… Just how much he wants to deny your words. In his eyes, there is no one as graceful or pretty as you.

“That is why I just want to help him in the only way I know, by fighting alongside him in his conquest for power as a warrior.” Your heartbroken look changed into one of determination at the last sentence.

Seeing your face, he knew it was useless to try to persuade you to do otherwise and so choose the only path left.

He summoned his spear, hold it against you and said, “That won’t happen if I stop you here.”

“But you won’t. You are far too kind to hurt your own mentor. You better fix that though. I would hesitate to harm you when we meet again in battlefield,” you said, turning your back on him as you start to walk away without a care in the world.

Even though you taught him to never show his back to the enemy, you, yourself, was not following it. Yet, he found himself unable to stab you with his spear like he would always do to his enimes.

While he was being indecisive, you looked back at him and said, “One last advice from your former mentor. Don’t trust Morax. He is not the man you make him out to be.”

At that time, he didn’t understand the meaning of your words.

…

Years had passed. People no longer know you as the proud Glaze Lily of Liyue but as the cunning commander of Osial’s army.

The time is the peak of the Archon war. But imstead of the battlefield, he looked at the terror folding in front of him.

With your spear thrown away to the ground away from you, you struggled like a mad man in Rex Lapis’s hold. However, no matter how strong you were, your strength cannot be compared to that of a God.

“Let me go you scum. Are you going to hurt my master again in front of me?”

He grimaced at the use of such language. However, his God did not seem to mind it very much or if he did, he didn't show it on his face.

But wait. You said a strange thing in your words.

Again? What did you mean again? When had Rex Lapis ever hurt your master before. Perhaps you were talking about the Goddess of Rain? There was no way Rex Lapis would have hurt her. She was his ally.

Or what if he did…

“Your master is ME. I have always been and will always be.” Holding your chin up to meet his gaze, Rex Lapis said firmly.

The God did not deny your words. But Xiao wanted to know more on the subject but hedidn’t dare interject his lord’s conversation and ask him the truth of the matter.

“No, you are not. There are only two beings in Teyvat who I ever thought of as my master. You killed one of them and are you planning to kill another now?”

Tears rolled down your cheeks. From sadness or frustrations, Xiao didn’t know. Maybe both.

“Osial is a monster. He is fated to disappear for the safety of the people.”

“Then what about my Goddess? Did she do anything to anyone? Why did you hurt her!!”

“Dear, you, yourself, know the answer best, don’t you? I thought of her as my best ally. So, I really didn’t want to kill her. But when you refused my proposal to use your service for me, I was left with no choice.”

He was beyond shocked to hear the words. He looked at the other Adepti wondering if he misheard his Lord. Moon Craver looked at him with a look of guilt and pity while Cloud Retainer did not even meet his eyes. At that, he understood that he heard everything right and that everyone except him was already aware of the horrifying truth.

“You called Osial monster. But in my eyes, there is only one monster and it is you," you said hatred bleeding not only from your voice but also from your eyes.

Stone lances rained from the sky, sealing anyone and everyone who dared to go against the Groundbreaker. You watched helplessly towards the sea where your beloved Master has disappeared and bawled like a newborn baby who has lost her mother.

If he swept you away with him, will you be able to attain a little more happiness compared to now.

“Yes, let’s steal her away,” Xiao thought to himself. He might not be able to compare to Rex Lapis in strength but he had confidence that he would not lose to anyone in speed. After he stole you away, the two of you could go to the country of freedom and live a tranquil life unknown to anyone.

When he was lost in his thoughts, Madam Ping held his hand. It seemed that he had unconsciously summoned his spear. Madam Ping looked at him in his eyes and shook her head.

“We are adepti of Liyue and our contract is to serve this country and Rex Lapis. Isn’t that right, Xiao?”

At her words, he began to remember what his duty was and what Rex Lapis has done for him.

His Lord saved him from the bounds of Ancient God.

His Lord freed him from the horrid duty of devouring dreams.

His Lord bestowed him the name “Xiao” and gave him a place in Liyue.

He couldn’t possibly go against his Lord.

After a while, you lost your consciousness. All the events that had happened this day was affecting your mind terribly.

He wasn’t able to move a single step forward as he watched his Lord carried you to his chamber.

For anyone who didn't get the backstory because of my terrible writing

I wrote this fic from Xiao's point of view who was in a "Notice me Senpai" situation with Reader.

For a long time, Morax had been a yandere but before the events in this fic, he was contented in just having their loyalty since he was a gentleman.

Osial knew that Morax killed the Goddess of Rain and recruited reader to work for him in exchange for revenge.

That is when reader fell for Osial. However, Osial only saw them as a talented subordinate until the end.

#yandere genshin impact #genshin impact #yandere zhongli #yandere zhongli x y/n #yandere zhongli x reader #xiao x reader #xiao x you #yandere morax #genshin osial #osial x reader #genshin impact xiao #yandere #zhongli #zhongli x you #zhongli x reader #genshin impact zhongli #genshin impact angst #xiao x y/n #xiao angst #xiao alatus #xiao x reader angst

[eternal-kosmo-ghoul]

“delicate touches”

❤︎ synopsis — some awful experiences have left you broken and undesired… that all changes when terzo offers a new way to feel that love

pairing: papa terzo x fem!reader

theme: smut ❣︎ , fluff ✿

a/n: an anon sent this idea in my inbox and i liked it so much i had to write it as a fic. enjoy my lovelies~

the original ask is here.

cw: nsfw content. p in v. vaginal sex. unprotected sex. dirty talk. pet names (italian names included cuz terzo). praise kink. slight bondage. fingering. creampie. terzo being a loving and caring man <3

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“ah, you mean to tell me you don’t find it appealing at all?” terzo asked the woman sitting across from his table, she just nodded and gently sipped the cup of tea in her hands.

“nope, it’s just not for me.” y/n replied while setting the cup down on the table, enjoying the calm and quiet atmosphere of the ministry’s garden.

she had been well acquainted with the church for a while as a sister of sin, so she’s been around long enough to get to know everyone, including the current papa emeritus, terzo.

y/n had been invited out for a small hangout with terzo, just talking about nothing in particular, until terzo brought up the topic of sex.

she didn’t know how the topic came up, really they were just talking about random things. but it’s not like she was grossed out our anything, y/n was just happy to be spending her time with terzo.

“also i’m kind of… inexperienced too. i’m no virgin by any means, but i just never really experienced it all that much to really understand the appeal.” y/n added on, keeping her hands on her lap while terzo just nodded along.

“i see…” the satanic pope hummed, quietly assessing the sister’s words before speaking again. “i hope you don’t mind me asking, piccolina, but why is that the case? i expect a fine young woman like yourself to be wanted by many people.”

terzo’s words were not hurtful or judging, but rather expressing genuine curiosity with a slight hint of concern. the sincerity in his tone was enough to make y/n’s cheeks blush faintly, but nevertheless she stayed composed.

“bad experience with other people.” she said, her tone almost sounding saddened, but she kept herself in check. “i’ve only ever slept with two other men. however, one of them just seemed disinterested and the other one ended up harming me, only thinking about his pleasure instead of mine.”

terzo let out a soft, almost sad sigh at the sound of it. he didn’t like hearing that. to think a beautiful and gracious young woman like y/n, would be treated so carelessly like an object in bed. it didn’t sit well with terzo, and it made him upset, but he didn’t dare to show that to the sister.

“that’s terrible, cara. it’s unfortunate that you ended up sleeping with such sad excuses of human beings.” the emeritus said, his voice almost turning into a bitter hiss. that caught the attention of y/n.

terzo was always known for being a gentle and caring man, always watching out for his ghouls, siblings of sin and his brothers. however, he seemed awfully bothered by this fact for some reason. y/n didn’t quite pick up on it… but the sight of seeing terzo being so careful and mindful of her well-being.

it was nothing like how those previous men treated her in the sheets.

“please do not worry, papa terzo. it was a long time ago, it barely bothers me now.” the sister insisted, trying to reassure terzo it was okay.

she was lying through her teeth though. truth to be told, she was greatly bothered by it. the people around her have always talked about their sex life and sexual experiences like it was the most magical thing ever. how the closeness and intimacy of it all was a feeling like no other.

it almost felt surreal to her.

she just wished she could relate to them.

a deafening, almost discomforting silence hung between the two of them now, neither one saying a word. as y/n was about to speak, terzo beat her to the punch.

“i’m going to be blunt with you, cara.” terzo started out, before continuing on.

“i don’t want you thinking sex is as mundane and uneventful as it is in your mind. it can be wonderful… a truly magical experience that expands beyond pleasure.”

his hands slowly found their way to y/n’s hands, gently taking them and faintly tracing shapes and patterns into the palm of her hand. her eyes widened and she blushed, but she didn’t pull her hand away.

terzo’s hands were so gentle…

“terzo…” y/n trailed off, feeling both flattered and conflicted.

“i want to change that for you.” terzo admitted, his tone fully serious. “those men weren’t the ones for you. they won’t be able to give you pleasure like i can. please, tesoro… let me show you.”

y/n’s breath hitched at the mere suggestion of it. to think that a papa like terzo would be doing this for her?!it made her heart race… how could she accept something like this? she wanted to… but she was scared.

and yet, her heart was still beating a little faster.

terzo noticed that the girl was stunned, so he kept on speaking in a more soft tone.

“i promise i’ll be gentle. i’ll even throw in some exciting things here and there to make it memorable… you deserve it. because no one, especially you, should be treated so horribly in bed.”

satan dammit, his words were so suave and charming. that was just terzo’s natural charisma getting to y/n. not only was the offering tempting, but it was an opportunity to finally experience what she’s been missing out on.

even if it scared her a little bit, she was willing to take that leap.

with a shaky sigh… she nodded at terzo. “alright, i’ll do it with you.”

terzo wore a delighted and slightly shocked smile, satisfied with the answer. he gripped y/n’s hands a little more firmly before whispering into her ear.

“then let’s take this to my bedroom. shall we?”

❤︎ —

it all happened so fast.

from heavy and steamy kisses, to stripping down every piece of clothing ‘till nothing was left, y/n found herself in quite the predicament.

squirming against the red rope that bound her wrists together on terzo’s bed frame, while letting out breathy, but heavenly moans; y/n was in a state of bliss, feeling quite pleasured from his terzo’s fingers were slipping in and out of her wet entrance.

“mmmh… that’s it, dolcezza … you’re doing great..” terzo whispered sweetly into her ear, staying on her side as he thrusted his fingers inside of her tight hole, being precise with his movements, and hitting all of the sweet spots that had y/n’s legs shaking.

the red rope binding her wrists together was rather secure, but it wasn’t tight. it only added more to the lust brewing within y/n as terzo thrusted his fingers into her puckered hole, brushing against her sensitive nerves and making that slickness between her legs more wet.

“hnnngh… i-i didn’t know you could make someone— ahh~ feel so good with just your fingers…” the sister managed to choke up through her choked up moans. terzo only let out a seductive chuckle and curled his fingers inside of her, making y/n squeal when she felt the tips of his fingers brush against her g-spot

“ahh you have no idea, cara… ohh~ i can make you feel so much better than those dirtbags..” terzo whispered, but it was mostly to himself. he knew it was true; he could definitely make y/n feel better than her past two, unlucky experiences.

the third emeritus wanted to make it special for y/n. he wanted it to be meaningful instead of just mindless sex. that feeling of pure euphoric bliss and overwhelming pleasure is something that terzo felt y/n deserved; especially because she was so beautiful.

ah least to him, she was that beautiful.

terzo continued to thrust his fingers in and out as he fucked y/n’s puckered, slick hole. he was moving his fingers in a scissoring motion to hit all of those sensitive nerves, and he hit a particular spot that had y/n’s legs shaking.

“oh my,” terzo breathlessly muttered out, noticing how her legs were twitching. “i hit your sweet spot, didn’t i?”

y/n nodded to confirm his words, and her voice was raspy with need and desperation. “yes. keep moving them there, please.”

terzo hummed to indicate his agreement, and he started to thrust his fingers more harshly inside of her, hitting that sweet spot. the pope craned his head to bury itself against y/n’s neck as he planted kisses across her flesh, sucking on the skin and littering hickeys all over her skin.

y/n just whined and instinctively writhed against the rope holding her wrists together, feeling her soaking wet walls clamp around terzo’s fingers. she couldn’t help it, he was moving them in such a good way, and the sounds sounded so erotic; but it only turned y/n on even more.

she has never felt like this in her entire life… but maybe this experience will give her a new perspective on sex.

“fuck you’re so tight around my fingers, dolcezza.” terzo cursed breathlessly, being sure to hit all of those right areas inside of y/n while she panted and whined heavily. “so wet too… ahh~ you’re such a good girl.”

that seemed to make the slickness between her legs more intense from that pet name, and terzo took notice of it quickly, smirking seductively.

“you like it when i call you a good girl, eh?” he teased, and the sister tried to look away to hide her blushing face.

“d’awww.. don’t be shy… there’s nothing to be scared of, cara.” terzo purred softly into her ear, continuing to finger y/n while he whispered sweet nothings to her, leaving tender kisses across her cheek and jawline.

“my good… good girl… taking my fingers so well…” terzo praised, sliding his fingers in deeper.

“t-terzo…” y/n croaked out more loudly, her legs twitching more from how terzo moved his fingers in such an experienced way.

suddenly, the pope pulled out his fingers. y/n whined from the feeling, her walls clenching around nothing. terzo’s fingers and y/n’s wet pussy left a trail of her glistening juices connecting to each other, and terzo moaned at the sight.

“fuck that’s hot.” he rasped out with a lustful tone, and he moved to lick his fingers— getting a taste of y/n’s juices.

taking out his fingers with a pop sound, terzo looked down at the sister and smirked, before gently moving his hands to her inner thighs and pushing them apart slightly.

“spread those pretty little legs for me, i’m going to fill you up now.”

she didn’t even think twice and nodded to terzo’s words, opening her legs for terzo to have access, and exposing her gaping, slick hole to the pope, and he could feel himself getting even more hard from the sight.

“satan above, tesoro. you’re such a turn on.” terzo whispered underneath his breath, praising y/n’s figure like she was a forbidden angel sent from the heavens themselves.

terzo was quick to undo the fly on his pants, pulling his boxers down with them, letting his hardened cock spring free from its restraints. y/n’s gaze was locked onto terzo’s girth, and she didn’t think she wanted him inside of her more than ever now.

is this what feeling lust was like? what it truly was supposed to be? because if so, y/n wouldn’t mind experiencing it over and over again.

“please, terzo.” y/n practically begged, her voice as quiet as a mouse. “put it inside of me.”

terzo’s eyes widened with delight, and he quickly smirked. he shimmied his hips closer to y/n’s, grabbing one of her legs and putting it over his shoulder while one of his hands firmly gripped the soft flesh on her thigh.

“with pleasure.” he grunted out. aligning the head of his cock to tease her wet entrance, terzo pushed himself inside of y/n. the sensation of y/n’s vaginal walls clenching around the hardened shaft was enough to make both of them gasp loudly from the pleasure.

“a-ah! fuck!” y/n choked out. she wasn’t used to the penetrating feeling, considering her previous experiences. but terzo made it feel so fucking good. “you’re so big…”

“shit. you’re tight.” terzo gasped out between breaths, keeping himself still inside of the sister, letting her adjust to his size before he started moving.

y/n was squirming around slightly underneath terzo, accommodating herself to his size, despite the difficulty. the pipe brought his head down to y/n’s lips and started to make out with her passionately, distracting her from the feeling of his dick being buried deeply within her pussy.

After a bit of deep kissing and tongue dancing, the two of them parted lips, a trail of glimmering saliva connected between their mouths. the thread of spit cut off, and their hips were still pressed together tightly.

“i’m going to start moving now.” terzo breathed out, and y/n just nodded.

his hip thrusts started slow and sensual. terzo’s cock was stretching out y/n’s pussy hole so much, but it burned in the most pleasurable way possible. the last time this happened, the guy was going too fast for y/n to even feel good.

but terzo wasn’t just thinking of himself. he was also thinking of y/n, and of her pleasure.

it only made the heat pooling at the core of y/n’s stomach much more intense.

“l-lucifer fuck yes, terzo… don’t stop..” she silently begged, moving her hands to dig her painted nails into her boss’ back, and terzo whined from the feeling.

“no way in hell am i stopping.” terzo moaned out, slowly moving his hips a little faster. “not when you feel this good, my love.”

terzo kept on thrusting at a reasonable pace, keeping his movements precise, before he slowly started to speed up a little more. the pope was pounding into y/n’s tight little hole like it was the last cunt he’d ever get. she was so tight around him, it felt so fucking good.

and y/n seemed to be thinking the same thing. her moans slowly got louder as terzo thrusted more, to the point where her noises sounded borderline pornographic. but that didn’t faze terzo at all. in fact, it just made him move faster.

“t-terzo! terzo please!” she cried out in pure ecstasy, the overwhelming waves of lust, pleasure and arousal clouding y/n’s mind.

“f-fuck you’re clenching my cock so well… y-yes just like that, tesoro..” terzo grunted out, keeping one of y/n’s legs over his shoulder as he thrusted into her. “such a good fucking girl for me.. taking my dick so well.. i’m sure those other men can’t make you feel as good as i can, eh?”

terzo was right. those other men y/n slept with couldn’t even compare to how good the third emeritus was in bed. they never watched out for her like this, never made her feel such sensations that had both of their bodies trembling.

she would love to do this again with terzo.

the red ropes binding y/n’s wrists together rubbed against her skin as terzo slammed into her at a rougher pace, making her body shift against the mattress and the bed creak. his cock was rubbing against all of the right spots in her cunny, causing little spurts of her juices to spurt out as she neared her climax.

“n-nngh! t-terzo i’m so close! h-hahh!” y/n whined out, her legs tightening around terzo’s waist.

“g-good… i’m going to fill you with all of my cum it’ll still be dripping out of you after weeks.” terzo groaned out dirtily, his movements getting more frantic as he also was nearing a release.

his thumb moved to rub against y/n’s clit at a quick, yet punishing pace, making her hips jerk forward and her head be thrown back as she screamed terzo’s name.

cum spurted everywhere out of y/n. her cunt clenched tightly around terzo’s shaft while she came all over his dick. the sticky liquid shot out like a jet and she was still twitching during her release.

meanwhile, terzo followed suite. ropes of thick, hot cum came bursting out of him, filling up y/n’s hole as he painted her insides white. there was so much in his load that even some of his essence was trickling out of her hole.

soon after, both of them were left panting heavily on the bed, terzo’s arms barley holding his body up as he hovered over y/n’s breathless figure. slowly, he pulled out of y/n’s pussy, making her whine from the feeling of emptiness that engulfed her.

terzo then slumped down onto the bed next to y/n, and gently pulled her into his arms, caressing her hair softly while cuddling. despite her body still twitching from the aftershocks of sex, y/n still melted into terzo’s touch.

“…. thank you,” y/n whispered into terzo’s neck, and he looked down at her with a chuckle, raising an eyebrow.

“for what, amore?” he asked with a charming grin, but he had an idea of what she wanted to say.

the sister was so incredibly thankful for terzo’s offer, for making her feel so good. she’s never felt this good in a while… and y/n believed that she wouldn’t have gotten that experience with any other man.

how lucky she was.

“for giving me the fuck of a lifetime.” y/n answered with a more confident grin. terzo was taken aback by her boldness, but he quickly smirked and pressed a kiss against her cheek.

“of course.”

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#ghost bc #ghost fanfiction #papa emeritus x reader #terzo x reader #terzo smut #terzo x reader smut #papa emeritus smut #papa emeritus iii #papa emeritus iii x reader #papa terzo x reader #ghost bc x reader #spicy content #smut fanfiction

[brittscafe]

Love in the Dark Chapter 2

Kisuke Urahara x reader, mini fanfic series.

Chapter 2: When the past catches up.

110 years later...

You've been residing in the World of the Living since the incident many years ago. The streets of Karakura Town are mostly silent, the occasional hollows appear and you take care of them.

You weren't sure what happened to Kisuke Urahara. Aizen might've been telling the truth or Kisuke could still be in the Soul Society for all you know. You were almost praying that he was still in the Soul Society, being a leader and happy.

As long as Kisuke is happy and doing what he loves, you'll be satisfied either way. As long as he's not alone then he'll be okay. You miss him everyday...wishing you could be with him.

You wish you could be with Kisuke without bringing danger or attention to him. Aizen Sosuke has eyes everywhere and you won't risk it.

You were still a Soul Reaper, but you've been keeping your identity a secret. Wearing a black cloak and having your sword tuck in your side.

Then there's Kisuke Urahara. Also, residing in Karakura Town running a tiny shop on the edge of town. He thought about you every single day, wondering what had happened.

He never thought that you would leave him, you expressed your love for him so often and never showed any signs of leaving. When Kisuke woke up the next morning to find you gone, he was devastated.

Almost as devastated as he was when he was banished from the Soul Society for hollow experiments, that he never participated in. It was a stab in the heart, losing you and then his entire life.

Kisuke mourns you everyday as if you're dead. He assumes that you are, just to ease his pain. He spiraled for a bit before Yoruichi joined him, leaving the Soul Society behind and he decided to open up his shop.

The waves of spiritual pressure ripple through your body. It makes you freeze for a moment, feeling spiritual pressure so familiar, it shakes you to your core.

It's Byakuya Kuchiki... and Renji Abarai. You would never forgot the feeling of the noble's spiritual pressure.

Your feet carry you to the spiritual pressure where you see Byakuya Kuchiki, Renji Abarai, and Rukia Kuchiki. Your eyes flicker down to Ichigo Kurosaki laying face down on the ground, injured and near death.

You have heard of Ichigo Kurosaki, who accidentally took Rukia's spiritual energy.

"Y/n...it's been a long time," Byakuya speaks up. Something's different. This isn't the same person Byakuya knew before.

"I'm surprised you recognized me. Some would say too long, but I'd prefer to never see you again," you speak firmly, the wind blowing back your hood.

"I would have to agree with you. I'd prefer we didn't have to meet on such vulgar terms," Byakuya sighs out with annoyance.

"I assume that you're trying to take Rukia back with you because she broke the rules and now she has to be executed, hm?" you ask, your eyes raking over Rukia's fragile frame.

"I'm going back on my terms," Rukia speaks up with confidence and you chuckle with disbelief.

"Rukia, I didn't think you were that stupid. I mean, your friend is lying here on the ground, on the brink of death and you chose to go back to your noble brother. I can't say I'm that surprised," you shrug your shoulders, taking a step and standing in front of Ichigo.

Your hand shoots to the handle of your sword attached to your side and your fingers wrap around the hilt. Renji glances down at your side, almost hidden by your cloak.

"I can take her, captain," Renji speaks up, stepping forward with a cocky grin on his face and his sword slung over his shoulder. You cock an eyebrow at the young soul reaper and scoff quietly.

"You'll never win, but you may try," you suggest, a smirk forming along your face. You pull away your sword and it glistens in the moonlight.

"Renji, don't be a fool," Byakuya speaks harshly with annoyance.

Byakuya knows that you're much older and stronger than Renji, you could easily wipe him out.

"I've heard the tales about you, y/n. How you were banished from the soul society," Renji speaks up and your stomach twists into uneasy knots.

You glare at him and step forward, your nostrils flaring.

"I'm gonna be the one. I'm gonna be the one to take you down," Renji growls out, a smirk forming along his face.

You laugh at his remark and throw back your head.

"I'm afraid you and your sword will never be up to the task, Renji. It's been a long, long time since I've felt something like this. Now, let's begin...Hadō number 63. Raikōhō."

Renji's eyes widen as you lift up your hand, your palm facing him as the yellow lightning strike forms in your hand.

"Renji!" Byakuya calls out with concern as you release the lightning rapidly and it strikes Renji in the chest. He grunts heavily as pain ripples through his body and it sends him onto his feet.

The portal starts to open up behind Byakuya and Rukia. You narrow your eyes and Renji pants heavily, scrambling up onto his feet.

"Silly little boy likes to play with swords," you comment, a wryly smirk tugging along your lips. Renji glares over at you and scoffs quietly.

"It seems like your past might be catching up to you, y/n," Byakuya speaks calmly, stepping into portal along with Renji and Renji. You let out a heavy breathe as the portal starts to close.

You turn around and kneel down beside Ichigo. The rain starts to pat down on your skin and you grimace.

"Ichigo..." you call out, placing your hand on his shoulder.

"Who are you?" he groans out, his voice muffled. The rain drops pelt down onto your face and you lift your head up.

A gasp is caught in your throat as your eyes land on him. His kimono swaying back and forth in the strong wind. A green and white stripped bucket hat over his head, his silky blonde locks poking out.

Your heart pounds in your eardrums and your body freezes.

It can't be...Kisuke Urahara.

It's been literally months since I posted chapter 1, lol. Anyways, y/n is pretty badass in this :)

#Kisuke urahara #kisuke urhara #bleachanime #bleach x reader #bleach anime #bleach x you #bleach x y/n #bleach headcanons #bleach x female reader #bleach imagines #kisuke bleach #urahara #urahara kisuke #kisuke x reader #bleachichigo #bleach #urahara x reader #urahara kisuke x reader #urahara x yoruichi #bleach urahara #kisuke #urahara smut #kisuke urahara smut #kisuke urahara x reader #bleach kisuke #urahara kisuke smut #bleach fanfic #bleach fandom #bleach fanfiction #Kisuke Urahara fanfiction

[twogyuu]

like we were eighteen || kdy

Pairing: Doyoung x fem!reader (ft. a whole bunch of SM artists)

Synopsis: Upon your best friend’s insistence, you attend prom for a second time. Much to your surprise, you enjoy it more than either of you were expecting because of a certain someone you wished you met sooner. 

Alternatively: A surprisingly unforgettable night that made Kim Doyoung feel like he was eighteen again: Unsure, giddy, and nervous because of a mere crush. Maybe he’ll listen to Yuta for once and slide into your DM’s  

Genre: Fluff, crack, the slightest bit of angst, best friend!Seulgi, (almost) complete loser!Doyoung, law firm intern!Doyoung, former tennis player!reader, references Adele's When We Were Young

Warnings: Implied alcohol use, profanity, unedited(!!!)

WC: ~5.4k (HELP-)

A/N: This is like the SM Halloween Party, but SM is a high school, LSM is the retired principal, and this is a cheap (second) prom-themed reunion.

TBH, I'm kind of nervous about releasing this. It doesn't feel like my best work especially in the sense that this "drabble" was never intended to be this long 💀 My fingers just typed and then we ended up here 😅 Some way, some how, the way I write the designated member ends up some version of a Renjun I have in my head that I end up projecting onto everyone else 😭 That said, I'm working on better portraying each member of NCT (I'm still new to this!) so please bare with me :') I hope you enjoy this nonetheless!

You wouldn’t have been here, unless your best friend, Seulgi, hadn’t dragged you out. 

Contrary to the beliefs of most people, high school was not the best four years of your life (thankfully). You didn’t have an amazing, close-knit group of friends that helped solve a murder mystery of a girl you remotely knew. You didn’t have a band that you’d rock with every afternoon. There was no cliche, fake-dating, bad-boy-pursues-”good”-girl (were you even?) escapade with the captain of the basketball team, Jung Jaehyun. You didn’t have some sort of self-actualization where you discovered your purpose in this world and the meaning of life when you graduated. 

You were a “floater” – someone with a friend from this group, a friend from that group. You ate lunch in the library by yourself just trying to catch up on the next history reading or finishing the geometry homework – sometimes, Seulgi would join if she wasn’t busy with the volleyball team. You had a fair amount of crushes, but nothing that moved beyond the stage of “admiring from afar.” Besides, the only boy worthy of your time, Choi Minho, had graduated by the time you were a second year student. 

(He didn’t even know your name.)

High school by quickly, but slowly. The four years passed by in a flash: one minute you were a freshman with oily skin rushing through the halls with a map of the school in your hands and the when you blinked, you were suddenly in the auditorium draped in a black graduation gown with an pink tassle bouncing off your face everytime you got up from your chair. Nonetheless, the days were long. Seven, fifty-minute classes filled up your 7AM to 3PM. You’d remember sitting in Mr. Kwon’s physics class just counting the number of ticks of the minute hand as it neared the 12PM bell for lunch. Your lungs burned for air during the mile run in gym class – four rounds around the track felt like an eternity despite the teacher calling out a time of eight minutes. The nights at home never seemed to end when you had a literature essay due the next day. 

That said, you think you could say most people could relate to that experience. Despite the “real” and “true” experiences of teens, Hollywood wanted to share with the world, high school was bland and unmemorable. Despite the fact, most, if not all, of your graduating class was back in the humid and cramped school gym tonight. 

Perhaps there were the few individuals who did have that close knit of friends who they wanted to reunite with. 

Or perhaps, it was merely for the purpose of satisfying one’s curiosity of what happened to everyone. 

Did Jaehyun end up in the NBA like everyone thought he would?

Did the high school sweethearts, Sooyoung and Hyoseob, get married like everyone voted in the yearbook?

Did Dong Sicheng become a doctor like your teachers predicted?

That’s why Seulgi came. 

The theme of the reunion was to recreate prom: “a starry night.”

Standing at the front entrance taking it all end, despite the ten years that have passed, not much had changed about the place. The floors were still scuffed and scratched, if not more, the wax leaving the tan hardwood exposed to further damage underneath. The net of the basketball hoop that used to have a giant hole in it was finally ripped off. The bleachers that had been pulled out were still painted the dull blue. 

The decorations that tried to hide it all were tacky at best. The lights were turned off, the gym only being lit by the several feet of fairy lights that lined the walls and the lit pathways to the larger “dance floor” that was surrounded by balloons. There was a yellow, cardboard crescent moon that hung from the metal beams in the back. A table of refreshments with a royal blue drape stood off to the side. There was a photo wall just outside the east exit – then again, it was just a white curtain with some fake cherry blossoms from the fabric store and a few cheap oversized sunglasses and crowns. Though you didn’t particularly enjoy it, the makeshift bar that overtook where the concession stand used to be seemed to be the best attraction tonight – rumors had Jungwoo, who now owned some fancy brewery in uptown, had graciously volunteered to provide alcohol. 

It was laughable – honestly. You had hoped how tacky some of these decorations were, the “starry night” theme was an intentional decision. 

A shot at satire. 

“Okay!” you heard Seulgi’s heels click against the floor behind you, coming back from the bathroom. She came up to your side and linked arms. “Sorry for making you wait – there was a line.”

“It’s fine,” you replied, putting on your best fake smile for her. 

Frankly, just standing at the entrance and taking all of this in only reminded you how much you didn’t miss high school.  

Seulgi could tell from the way your smile didn’t quite reach your eyes. She tugged you closer and reassured you, “It’ll be good, I promise.”

You only shrugged. 

She rolled her eyes and started leading you inside. The rhythmic snare of the electronic house music grew louder, your eyes adjusting to the darkness. Eyes passed over the two of you as you entered, a few waves being thrown your way because people knew Seulgi. People were huddled away in groups, bouts of laughter bubbling above the music.  

Seulgi leaned closer to you and whispered. “Cheer up a little? You never know who you’ll meet again.”

. . . .

“The invitation said ‘dress to impress’, which usually means semi-formal or formal,” Taeyong explained. He scanned Doyoung’s outfit: distressed dark-washed jeans paired with a white t-shirt and his favorite worn black leather jacket thrown over it. Taeyong pressed his lips together in an effort to keep himself from laughing out loud at his friend’s outfit. “Unless,” he cleared his throat, “That’s how you dress to impress.”

“For the last time, please! I thought it was a casual get-together!” Doyoung retorted. “I missed the memo about this being a formal event.”

“C’mon, Doyoung,” Yuta snorted. He shoved his hand into the pocket of his slacks, tipping his drink towards the other man, “The theme was a “starry night prom” – what in the world made you think it’d be casual? You’re about to finish law school. I thought you were smarter than that.”

Doyoung let out an exasperated sigh, running a hand through his dark locks, undoing the hold of some of the gel. A strand fell across his eyes as he hung his head forward. Sometimes, he wondered how and why he became friends with these two in the first place. 

“Whatever,” Doyoung grumbled, “I’m already here – I’m not just going to drive an hour back to the city just to change. We’ll just . . . be normal, try to enjoy ourselves. We’re all adults now anyways, no one gives a damn.”

Yuta raised his hands up by his face in surrender. “Okay, okay, fine.”

“Thank you,” Doyoung huffed, pulling at the hem of his jacket. He flexed his back, opting to settle onto the corner of the bottom bleacher. He busied himself with his SmartWatch, crinkling his brows and swiping at the screen, pretending there was some interesting message on there or something. 

(Or something.)

Truth be told, Doyoung didn’t want to come to this stupid reunion in the first place. It’s why he didn’t pay attention to the invitation when he got it in the mail. It’s why he tossed it in the recycling the day after. He didn’t hate high school for he met some of his best friends here. 

Genuinely, he had a good time. 

Doyoung liked to think he was a fairly average student. Someone who didn’t quite stand out amidst the crowd. He played basketball, but never a star player. He did well enough to get on the honor roll in school, but wasn’t one of the valedictorians. He had a group of friends who were fairly well known among his peers, but never one that people paid attention to like Yuta or Jaehyun. 

And he liked it that way. 

As they graduated and entered college, then professional school and/or the workforce, Doyoung realized how much he enjoyed leading a quiet life and keeping to himself. He gets enough drama from hearing about Yuta’s monthly flings or the nepotism at Taeyong’s office. 

Though the past certainly wasn’t remarkable or perfect, he didn’t like to dwell in it, including high school. He was forward minded – working hard on his law degree and dabbled lightheartedly in various hobbies: photography, painting, singing on the rare occasions he could go out. 

Doyoung simply . . . didn’t care enough to want to come to this reunion.

His Achilles heel, however, will always be his two best friends, Taeyong and Yuta, who did want to come to their second starry night prom. 

Yuta had his own intentions of reigniting old flames, though Taeyong merely wanted to drink and to meet up with his old basketball team. The latter was happily engaged after all. 

Doyoung was merely manipulated and dragged along. Though it was nice to see some people again, he had better things to do at home. His mind was just racing with all the tasks and documents he could be reviewing and completing. Alternatively, if he was feeling lazy and just wanted to have fun, there were movies to watch and places to see.

His ideal Friday night was certainly not being trapped in the claustrophobic gym for second prom on-a-budget. 

(He found it strange, however. Most of his classmates were working adults now, right? Shouldn’t they have had more money to afford something more extravagant? And hire a real DJ instead of Johnny?)

Feedback poured through the speakers followed by the sound of two pats. The beat of the previous song started to fade and the said DJ’s voice followed.

“Okay, ladies and gentlemen,” Johnny started, “I think it’s time we slow it down,” He flicked a few buttons on his soundboard to switch out the track, letting a softer melody start to grow. The air filled with the sound of piano keys, soft guitar chords plucking in the background. 

“Grab yourself your partner who none of us has ever met and you met them after high school,” a round of chuckles spread throughout the gym, “Or perhaps someone who you never had the guts to tell them you liked them when we were in high school?”

Everybody loves the things you do. From the way you talk, to the way you move.

“We’re throwing it back to our angst days – Adele, ‘When We Were Young.’”

Johnny backed away from the might and twisted a knob slowly to turn up the volume of the somber song. Couples, hand-in-hand, started breaking off from larger groups or descended down the bleacher stairs to join the dance floor. There were a few who Doyoung recognized, mildly surprised that some high school sweethearts do indeed last (Jaehyun and Emmy not being one of them – not to anyone’s surprise). 

“Damn,” Taeyong nodded approvingly. A grin spread across his face. “Johnny coming through with the nostalgia.”

He was quick to excuse himself to find his fiance afterwards, leaving Doyoung alone with Yuta. 

“You gonna ask anyone to dance?” Yuta asked, though his attention wasn’t on his friend. His eyes scanned through the sidelines, looking for a lonely sole to prey on. 

“Nah,” Doyoung sighed, “I don’t think so.”

Yuta’s eyes landed on someone on the other side of the dance floor, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. His hand swung over, holding his drink in front of Doyoung’s face, signaling for his friend to hold it. 

“Well, if you excuse me then, I think I’m gonna shoot my shot,” Yuta tilted his chin up. 

“Who are you talking about?” Doyoung asked, squinting into the crowd. He pulled the plastic cup filled with pink liquid from his friend’s hand. 

“Hina,” Yuta looked down at his friend. 

Doyoung zeroed in on the black-haired beauty in the navy blue slip mini dress. He snickered – some things just don’t change and that included Yuta’s type. 

“You sure she isn’t married yet, man?” Doyoung asked. 

“I don’t see a ring on her finger.”

“You can’t see shit from here.”

Yuta shot him a playful wink, already starting to walk backwards. “Pray for me that she’s not then?”

“No, gross,” Doyoung chortled. “Good luck though!”

As Yuta disappeared into the crowd, Doyoung let his eyes wander to see who was left. By no means he did expect everyone to be dancing, but he always found it interesting who remained during these more soft and romantic moments. 

If he could, he would’ve gone home already, but he was DD for his friends tonight, and people watching wasn’t the worst thing. 

It could be the most fun actually at a party like this. 

His eyes didn’t linger for long, however, as they landed on you, sitting a few feet away with your legs crossed. You were hard to miss – the white dress you wore stood out in the dark. squinting , he could make out a bored expression on your face, something that Doyoung thought he probably looked like too. 

He knew you and you knew him. 

But that was the extent of your relationship. He remembers you from the few classes you shared throughout and he heard of you peripherally through Taeyong who was friends with Seulgi. A friend of a friend of a friend is the closest he was to you. Nonetheless, you weren't hard to miss – Doyoung remembered you always sat in the front, even if there weren't assigned seats. If your face wasn’t familiar, the back of your head certainly was. 

Did he even bother to say hi in that case?

However, it seemed like you had the answer for him already. 

“Doyoung, right?” you called. You were standing a few feet away from him with your hands clasped together in front of you. “Kim Doyoung?”

He peered up at you, blinking owlishly as he paused to process the current situation. 

“R-right. Right!” Doyoung chuckled, trying to save himself. “Kim Doyoung – that’s me.”

You gave him a small wave. “I . . . um, I don’t know if you remember me, but I’m–”

“Y/N Y/L/N,” he finished for you. “From freshman geography, sophomore history and literature, and senior year chemistry, calculus, and PE.” He peered up at you, the right corner of his lip curling up into a friendly smile. “Of course, I remember you.”

You let out a nervous chuckle, letting your chin dip into your chest. “I just wasn’t sure since we didn’t talk much.”

Doyoung nodded. “That’s understandable.”

Unbeknownst to you, your own face was reflecting a similar bashful smile. 

Doyoung waited patiently, half-expecting you to leave. Again, you didn’t run in the same circles – maybe you were only greeting him out of courtesy. 

Yet, there was something about you tonight that made him wish you’d stay a minute longer. 

Just long enough so he could figure out what this feeling was. 

A beat passed between the two of you, only Adele’s voice filling the distance between the two of you. The song was already drawing to a close, the instrumentals coming down and her voice flipping down into a softer note. 

“How are you?” you finally asked, feigning confidence to hide the shake in your voice. 

You could have just left after saying ‘hello’ – heck, you were planning on it. 

It was just like a movie.

“Good,” Doyoung replied. 

It was just like a song.

Doyoung might not have known it at the time, but you also felt the same: anxious and eager to pull away to clear your nerves, but not quite ready to leave. You wanted to linger a little longer and you hoped he would let you.

When we were young.

“Um . . .” you shook your head and pinched the bridge of your nose, “This is gonna sound ridiculous, but do you want to . . .” you pointed your thumb back at Jungwoo’s makeshift bar. “Maybe grab a drink?”

“I would really like that.”

Maybe Seulgi was right. 

You never knew who you were going to meet again.

. . . .

30 minutes earlier

“You should go talk to him!” Seulgi had urged you. She jostled your arm urgently. 

“Doyoung?” you frowned. “I don’t even know if he remembers me.”

“Why wouldn’t he? And who wouldn’t?” Seulgi replied. 

You shook your head, pulling your best friend off your arm. “Why do you even want me to?”

She gave you an incredulous look, scoffing a little. “Weren’t you just complaining yesterday about not liking anyone from the city and you were going to live with me forever and die alone?”

“I was in a mood,” you defended. 

“He’s cute and I think you’d look good together,” she smiled innocently. 

“Seulgi,” you deadpanned. 

“Hey,” she pointed at you, “You never know where it would go – plus, he’s nice.”

“That’s so . . . bare minimum.”

“I know him peripherally – the few times I hung out with Taeyong and we had projects together,” Seulgi explained, “He is actually nice-nice and he works hard. Non-problematic and drama-free like you like them.”

“People change,” you shot back. 

“Look,” Seulgi rolled her eyes. She was tired of this game of seesaw with you. “If you don’t try at least a little bit – no one’s going magically fall into your lap. Even if I just know him a little bit, I get good vibes from him. 

“What’s the worst that can happen? If it doesn’t work out tonight, you never have to see him again and I won’t drag you to the next one.”

. . . .

Doyoung didn’t turn out half bad.

Okay . . .

He was great. 

Wonderful – almost.

(You had to cut yourself a little bit of pride.)

After getting over the awkward hump of getting reacquainted with one another, you surprisingly felt comfortable around him. He was easy to talk to – good at holding a conversation. Rather than rambling about himself, he followed up on your comments with questions asking you to elaborate. If you didn’t want to delve too deep, he’d understand and start on another topic. 

You had learned that the both of you had both moved to the city – or it seemed most of your friend group had. He lived on his own on the north end, while you stayed on the westside with Seulgi. Though he refused the idea as a kid, he ended up spending the majority of the last eight years of his life buried in law school like his mother wanted. He was finishing up his last year, interning at an international law firm. He was grateful for Taeyong and Yuta who had stayed by himself throughout it all, bringing the sparks of spontaneity and fun that made for good stories to balance out the rigorous coursework.

You liked him. He was down-to-earth and there was a calming presence about him. Unintentionally, he was funny too, you found it endearing. He was clumsy - tripped over his own feet and leading you in the wrong direction to the science hallways to show you where his old locker was when it was on the other side of the school.

Ironically, he made you feel giddy - it's like the butterflies you got in middle school when your crushed said 'hello' to you for the first time. Usually an unpleasant and nerve-wracking feeling, however, you . . . kind of liked it?

You could decide that much now. 

Doyoung and you stood next to each other on the side, overseeing the blue and white tennis courts. The two of you, not much of the drinker nor dancer, had opted to wander around the school and talk instead, the conversation spanning anywhere from your lives now to memories associated with each stop. It was as if your feet had communicated and led you both out here. As bland as high school was, the courts held a special spot in your memories. 

The early spring night was still chilly. The soft breeze raised goosebumps along your bare shoulder and rustled through your hair. The sky was clear, but a strange shade of deep purple and navy blue. A few stars were speckled across the sky and the real moon shone like a light at the end of a tunnel from afar – it wasn’t anything special per se, but it was pretty, unlike the tacky one inside. 

“Do you still play?” Doyoung asked, turning to you. He caught how your arms were crossed over your body, rubbing away the bumps on your arm. 

You shook your head. “Tennis requires two people and no one else around me really likes to play. I stopped somewhere in college.”

Silence, then a beat.

“I’ll be your partner if you want to play again,” Doyoung said casually. 

That caught you off-guard. 

“Oh,” you said softly, “Um . . . thanks – I’ll think about it.”

“No seriously,” Doyoung insisted. “I like trying out different sports – I might not be as good as you, but someone’s better than no one right?”

Was he . . . flirting with you? If you remembered right, Doyoung didn’t play sports really – that was more Yuta’s thing. It was a strange offer. 

You turned to look at him to see if something suggested otherwise. 

He looked unfazed by his own words – like he didn’t know that what he just said made your heart jump a little. His face was serious, not even the slightest hint of that nervous smile dancing on his lips when you first said ‘hello.’

He probably didn't realize it, so you pretended to brush off the excitement and opted for a more equally neutral reply.

“I’ll consider it,” was all you replied. 

“I mean it.”

Yeah . . . he didn't. The insistence wasn't playful, but rather earnest - it wasn't creepy whatsoever though. It was . . . endearing. You held back your laughter and cleared your throat.

“I don’t doubt it.”

As you turned away, another breeze blew by, causing you to shiver. 

Doyoung made a brisk ‘tsk’ and began shrugging off his jacket. Before you could protest, the garment was already hanging around your shoulders. The ghost of his body heat wrapped around your body, the goosebumps disappearing and warming you immediately. 

“Don’t try giving it back,” Doyoung said before you could protest. 

“Aren’t you cold though?” you asked, clutching onto the collar. 

Doyoung hummed softly and shrugged nonchalantly. “It’s not too bad.”

However, the way he was quick to wrap his hand around his waist at another whip of a wind suggested something different. 

You chortled, slipping the jacket off your body to give it back to him. 

“Nuh-uh,” Doyoung shoved it back into your chest. “Keep it – I’m fine.”

“But –”

“It’ll give me a reason to come back and talk to you at the end of the night,” he huffed. He turned around so you couldn’t see how his cheeks were burning bright pink.

He squeezed his eyes shut, feeling himself cringe at what he said. He’s not sure if he wanted to see your reaction right now either. Doyoung still struggled to read you after spending the past few hours with you.

“Let’s go back inside," he pressed on, "Um, I think I hear Taeyong calling for me.”

. . . .

As reluctant as the both of you were to come to this reunion, you both were as reluctant to leave. Your friends had dragged you here and were now struggling to drag you back home. Seulgi, Taeyong and his fiance, and Yuta leaned against the latter’s car, arms crossed over their chest, a bored expression settling onto their face as they watched you and Doyoung from afar. 

“How much long do you think they’ll take?” Taeyong asked. 

“Five minutes?” Seulgi offered, though she wasn’t so sure. 

“Yah!” Yuta shouted from across the parking lot. 

You and Doyoung looked over. 

Yuta waved his arms wildly. “Just hurry up and kiss!” he tapped aggressively at his watch. “We don’t have all night!”

Doyoung sucked in a sharp breath, raising an arm in a punching motion. 

“You know, I kind of regret encouraging her to talk to him,” Seulgi commented.

Taeyong and Yuta looked over at the girl. She could feel their critical, but shocked eyes on her.

“What?” she asked. 

“Doyoung didn’t approach her first?” Yuta asked.

Seulgi shook her head. “No.”

“Wow,” Taeyong snorted, “And here I was, thinking he had game.”

. . . . 

“Sorry,” Doyoung said, turning his attention back to you. “Yuta’s not very patient.”

“It’s okay,” you nodded, teetering on the heel of your feet. You clapped your hands together and looked up at him. “Um, I guess . . . this is it, then?”

He nodded slowly, though he could already feel the disappointment growing in his chest. “I guess.”

Did you not want to see him again after this? 

Was this really going to be it for you and him? 

Did he do something wrong to push you away?

“I . . . had a surprisingly good time,” you continued slowly. You peered at him through your lashes with wide eyes. “Thanks to you.”

A hand flew to the back of his neck, while he let out a nervous chuckle. Doyoung waved you off. “Please – it was nothing, just . . . trying to pass time and make the most of it,” he blinked owlishly a few times before realizing how wrong that sounded coming out of his mouth. “I mean, no, like, I had a good time too. I-I just . . . wasn’t trying to do anything special or hit on you, not like I was just using you or you were boring – nothing like that!”

“I know,” you chuckled. “I’ll . . . see you around?”

“Uh . . . yeah?” Doyoung offered, confused. 

How? The two of you had lived in the same city for the past three years and hadn’t bumped into each other once. 

You smiled softly and offered him a hand. Doyoung’s eyes flickered from it to your face and back again. 

“It was nice seeing you again, Doyoung – and,” you tilted your head coyly to the side,”Actually talk to you. You’re not too bad.”

“Likewise,” he replied, grabbing onto your hand. He gave you a firm squeeze, but rather than letting go right away, he just . . . held on. 

“Best of luck in your last year of school.”

“Thank you,” he sighed, offering you an awkward smile. 

“Um,” you chuckled, tugging away your hand to no avail. “If you could . . . let go.”

“Oh! Right, sorry,” Doyoung shook his head and pulled away. He wiped his sweaty palms on his jeans.

“Bye, Doyoung.”

And then you were gone. 

Your heels clicked against the dark asphalt as you descended off the curb into the parking lot, making your way to a red Toyota Corolla that he presumed was either yours or Seulgi. He watched you eagerly, a part of him wishing you’d turn around and wave, spare him one last glance – even the slightest turn of your head. 

Just anything that would indicate that maybe he was lingering on your mind like you were on his. 

Much to his dismay, you only waved Seulgi over. 

Just as you opened the door to the passenger side and were about to climb in, Doyoung took off in a run, bolting towards you. 

“W-wait!” he cried, garnering the attention of not only his friends and you, but all the other guests in the parking lot too. 

Doyoung didn’t like attention, but right now, he didn’t care. He just needed to talk to you

You paused, one foot in the car, one still out on the pavement. 

He came to a halt a few feet away, resting his hands on his knees as he tried to catch his breath. You waited patiently, giving him a moment to even his breathing. Out of the corner of your eye, you could make out Seulgi eavesdropping on the confrontation. His friends were snickering from the distance – Yuta especially with a shit-eating grin on his face. 

“I, um,” Doyoung stood up tall. He lifted his gaze to look at you. “D-do you think, maybe, I could . . . we could see each other again?” 

You didn’t reply right away. You were stoic and each second passed felt like a beat closer to doomsday. He knew the worst that could happen was that you said ‘no’ and he would never have to see you again. Nonetheless, he didn’t wish for such a thing and the disappointment would eat at him for the next few days. 

The question of “what if” was a powerful one. 

“I’m still looking for a partner for tennis, so I don’t see why not,” you finally replied. A soft, playful smile danced on your lips.

It was . . . very pretty. He wondered why he didn’t notice earlier. 

Immediately, his demeanor brightened. A grin stretched across his face at your reply. His hands fumbled around as he tried to find his phone in one of his many pockets, slipping in and out of the front and back. He shoved them in slits of his leather jacket too and came up with nothing. 

“Fuck,” he cursed under his breath. 

Doyoung has never lost his phone before – why now?

“I, um,” he showed you his empty hands. “I don’t know where my phone went, but if I could, I would love to get your number somehow?”

You dipped your chin to your chest, a girlish chuckle falling from your lips at his clumsy demeanor. 

“I don’t have a pen to write it on your palm,” you told him. 

“Oh,” he said softly. Asking himself more than you, he muttered, “What will we do?”

“But um . . . you have Instagram, right?” you asked, a new idea forming.

You always seemed to be a step in front of him. 

“Yeah,” Doyoung nodded, though still confused. 

“Well, Kim Doyoung,” you bit your bottom lip to keep yourself from grinning too widely, “This is me giving you permission to slip into my DMs.”

Doyoung thought he stopped breathing for a minute. 

The flirt was so . . .  blatant. Not that you couldn’t, but he wasn’t prepared for it nor was he expecting it from you. 

“What’s your at?” Doyoung asked. 

At that moment, you slipped into the passenger seat. You left the door open a crack and called out to him, “Ask Suh! He follows me on Instagram!”

The door slammed shut and Seulgi had already started backing out. 

You were friends with Johnny?

. . . .

1 week, 2 days, 3 hours, and 12 minutes later

[k_dy]: Hey!

[k_dy]: I found my phone 🙂

[k_dy]: It fell out of my pocket in between the cracks of Yuta’s car 💀

[k_dy]: Sliding into you DM’s liked you asked:)))))

[k_dy]: hehehe

[k_dy]: oh wait um –

[k_dy]: 127-07-1218

[k_dy]: call me ;)

[k_dy]: pls 🙏

Yuta snorted at the string of messages and looked up at his friend sitting across the wooden table. Doyoung was stiff, sitting tall in his seat at the cafe. The Iced Americano in front of him had hardly been touched. Doyoung had asked Yuta to meet up to go over his messages – he was worried he messed up because he messaged you this morning with no response. Yuta didn’t have the best dating history, so it was hard to call him an ‘expert’, but he definitely knew how to flirt and play these games a lot better than Doyoung.

“Well?” Doyoung asked, nervously. 

“Dude, you are so lame,” Yuta cackled. "Who puts that many parentheses for a smiley face?"

"Well what I was supposed to do?"

"I'll help you come up with something more . . . concise and slick," Yuta wrinkled his nose in dismay at his friend. "Before she sees all of these, you need to unsend-"

Seen.

Yuta's jaw fell slack.

"What?" Doyoung asked. "What? Did she reply?

He reached for his phone and new blue message flashed across the top of his screen. 

[unknown number]: I think I’m gonna hold off on calling you first lol. 

[unknown number]: But I’ll text first ;)

[unknown number]: This is Y/N. Glad you found your phone <3

(Frankly, you didn’t think he was ever going to slide into your DMs.)

#doyoung x reader #doyoung fluff #doyoung scenarios #nct x reader #nct fluff #nct scenarios #nct 127 x reader #nct 127 scenarios #nct 127 fluff #doyoung #kim doyoung

[archiveikemen]

'Luxury Cruise Invitation' Story Event: Bonus Story

— Ellis Twilight

I do not own any of the Ikemen Series content being uploaded on this blog, everything belongs to CYBIRD. Please support them by playing their games and buying stories. Not 100% accurate, expect mistakes.

read this before interacting with my posts

≪ thank you to @candied-boys for the story ! ≫

Maid: Miss. Look, what a magnificent luxury cruise ship!

Docked in front of me was a luxury cruise about to embark on a wonderful journey. And yet, my heart remained clouded.

During the journey, I was to be introduced to a suitor my parents had chosen for me, and be forced to marry him.

(Making me meet him onboard a ship so that I can't escape… what bad taste.)

Poorly Dressed Young Man 1: Whee! Ellis, you got so lucky at poker that you won tickets to board the cruise.

(...?)

When I turned my head in the direction of the lively voices, I saw a group of young men gathered together and chatting away.

Poorly Dressed Young Man 2: But you were seriously out of your mind for betting your entire life’s fortune back there.

Young Man Called ‘Ellis’: … Is that so?

Young Man Called ‘Ellis’: I did that because I had nothing to lose.

Kate: …

Maid: How unpleasant… people who can’t even afford third-class tickets are allowed onboard the ship.

Maid: You must never go near them, Miss. You’re an important lady.

Crew: The luxury cruise ship Orellus will be departing soon!

A whistle sounded as soon as we boarded the ship, and it started its smooth journey over the sea.

…

And as the ship sailed, the surroundings gradually turned dark—.

(... I should go to dinner as soon as possible. My fiancé must be waiting for me.)

But however hard I tried, my heart wouldn't listen. Thus, I found myself standing at the bow of the cruise, looking out at the sea below.

(I’ve always wanted to experience being truly in love with someone.)

(I want to be loved that way too.)

And yet, that simple dream of mine was about to be crushed that night.

(I shouldn't be selfish. Everything will be alright, I just have to put up with this.)

(If I give up and accept my fate, all will be well…)

Just as I was about to toss my feelings into the depths of the pitch-dark sea,

???: … Hey.

(...?)

Someone grabbed me by the wrist and I turned around—.

???: If you stick your body out too much, you might fall into the sea and get swept away.

(Oh, it’s him.)

– Flashback Start –

Young Man Called ‘Ellis’: I did that because I had nothing to lose.

– Flashback End –

Standing there was the man I saw before boarding the cruise, I heard that his name was “Ellis”.

Kate: I’m sorry, I was too occupied by my thoughts… erm.

Ellis: Someone was looking for you.

Ellis: I think… she was a maid.

(Oh no. I must go, I kept everyone waiting.)

Kate: I have to leave. Well then—

Ellis: Are you alright?

Kate: …?

Ellis: Are you alright with this?

Kate: … Huh?

Ellis: I mean, you’re wearing an expensive dress on a luxurious ship. And yet, you don’t look very happy.

Kate: I don’t look happy?

Ellis: Yeah. Um, let me rephrase that.

Ellis: You look very sad.

Kate: … T-That’s…

I wanted to throw away those feelings into the depths of the ocean, but he found them and held them in his two hands.

(... I thought of just putting up with my situation.)

(But that doesn't mean I should…)

Ellis: …

Ellis: Hey. Want to run away with me?

Kate: Run away…?

Ellis: Yeah. If that's what you want, I’ll take you anywhere you want.

Ellis: Anywhere in the world.

Kate: … Really?

The young man named “Ellis” gave me a firm nod.

I must've been crazy to place my fate in the hands of someone I had just met. And yet, for some reason, my heart was racing.

(Even just once, if I allow myself to wish for something…)

(I…)

Kate: … Please, help me. Take me away from here.

Ellis: Leave that to me.

He held my hand, and we ran through the cruise ship.

Kate: Wait… um…

Ellis: Ellis. My name.

Kate: … Ellis.

Ellis: And your name is?

Kate: I’m Kate.

Ellis: This way, Kate.

…

We kept running and running, and hid in the ship’s cargo room.

We huddled together, sitting next to stacks of wooden boxes.

Ellis: Late at night when there are fewer people around, come to my room.

Ellis: I’m sorry that my room is only a third-class cabin, so it might not suit you.

Kate: That’s fine… but…

Kate: Why are you helping me?

Ellis: Why?

Kate: We’ve only just met, haven't we?

Ellis tilted his head in puzzlement for a moment, and then he smiled like he had found a precious treasure.

Ellis: Because of your smiling face.

Ellis: I thought that you must look so lovely when you smile… I guess?

Ellis: Is that reason… not good?

Kate: N-No…

Ellis: Fufu, that’s great.

(That’s the kind of reason why he helped me?)

However, he meant everything he said.

To prove that, my heart had been throbbing for a while.

(Is it because he helped me? Or because I’m worried about what will happen to me from this point on?)

No matter how much thought I put into it, I couldn't arrive at an answer.

(It’s the first time I’m experiencing this feeling.)

When I rested my hand on the floor, our hands touched.

Ellis: I boarded this ship with a ticket I got by chance.

Ellis: But now, I think that perhaps it was a lucky ticket.

Kate: Why do you say so?

Ellis: Because it led to me meeting you.

Our gazes met, and without another word, our lips drew closer.

— At that point in time, we still didn't know that our meeting on the ship would lead to a passionate love.

#ikemen villains #ikemen series #cybird ikemen #cybird otome #otome #ikevil story event

[cookstorys]

𝚅𝚊𝚕𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚎𝚜

_____________

Character- Miguel Diaz

Show/Movie- Cobra Kai

Warning- Cussing, cute, Demetri and Hawk are dating bc y not, Miguel bein bbg 🤭

Note- Wish I thought of this on valentines 🧍🏾, and yes I did indeed look into information about bracelets

Females dni

_____________

“This place looks pretty expensive.” Miguel was awed as he walked into the perfectly decorated jewelry store. “Which means chicks will dig anything from here,” Hawk smirked. “Once again [name] isn’t a chick.” Miguel didn't know why he trusted Hawk and Demetri to help him with this. They were both losers when it came to relationships. It took them 4years to finally confess to liking each other. He was starting to wish he had waited for his mom or Sam to be free.

“Look given your past experiences, it’s best if you buy something more expensive. You know, to seal the deal.” Demetri perked as the teens walked up to the display of heavily shiny jewelry. “Get this one, no this one, or this one. There’s so many to choose from.” Demetri looked as if he was spazzing out. “Dude your freaking out again,” Hawk mentioned then turned to focus back on Miguel. “So what are we thinking? Earrings? Necklace?” The clerk asked. “I don’t know yet, it’s our 1st anniversary and I just wanted to give him something special.” Miguel grinned at the clerk. She couldn’t help but give the same grin back. “I think I have something you may like, give me one moment.” She smiled and left towards the back room.

“Why don’t you give me anniversary gifts?” Demetri asked crossing his arms together and giving his boyfriend an eye roll. “Probably because you force me to celebrate all our first. First kiss, first time holding hands in public, hell you even celebrate our first time seeing each other as a couple.” Hawk shot back. Before Demetri could shoot back a comeback, the young clerk came back with a box of nicely arranged bracelets. She pointed to one specifically. “This one has top of the line 18k white gold bracelet, surrounded by 60 Pavé Diamonds, for a extra fee we’re willing to give you a chance to engrave anything you want into it. It’s can be your anniversary date, a quote, a name, anything of the natural.” Holy shit. Miguel only understands a quarter of what she said but the bracelet itself was definitely worth the listen.

“What’s the price?” He asked still memorized by the gorgeousness of the bracelet itself. “Well, right now this one-of-a-kind bracelet is sitting at about 899$ but with the engraving, it could bounce up to about 950$. However plus tax and if you want our insurance plan that’ll all equal up to roughly 1,238$.” She finished. Miguel let out a modified laugh. That’s more than his paycheck in two months. “Can we look for a cheaper option?” Miguel smiled. “And by cheaper he means a LOT more.” Hawk chipped in which sent a smack on the back of his head by Demetri.

That’s when he saw it. A necklace with a cute bear charm attached to it. The exact stuffed animal he won you on your first date. “How about that.” He pointed. “That is indeed on our cheaper side. 210$ with engravings it’ll be 260$.” Miguel gave the clerk a huge smile. That was perfect and in his price range. “I’ll take it, with engravings also.”

___________________

“Gift time!” You enthused as Miguel sat on your bed. You stood from your position and went over to the hiding spot of Miguel’s gift and returned to your spot in front of him on the bed. “I wanna go first.” You smiled and handed him the gift. He nervously unwrapped it but smiled when he got to the gift itself. He lifted a big book from the box and opened it and saw all the memories you’ve made together, even before becoming a couple. “I love it, baby.” He smiled and leaned over to set a sweet, simple kiss on your cheek.

“My turn now.” He handed you a much smaller box and a lighter box. You lifted the top to reveal the gift inside, and to your surprise it was empty. “ um I think yo-.” You cut off your sentence when you saw Miguel holding a shiny necklace with a cute bear hanging in the middle. “No way.” You laughed not even trying to contain your excitement. You turned around allowing Miguel to place the necklace around your neck. It surprisingly felt a tad bit heavy but it was so worth it. “You have no idea how much this means to me.” You smiled planting a long passionate kiss on his lips.

#cookstorys #male reader #miguel diaz #Miguel Diaz x male reader #cobra kia #cobra Kai x male reader

[spencerrscardigans]

there was something that got brought up in therapy that my therapist just didn’t seem to get so i wanted to talk about this here to see if other people, like chronically ill people have or do feel this way.

i hate being told i’m strong/resilient.

for my entire life i’ve had people tell me that i’m strong, that im resilient, that im so mature for my age.

me and my therapist (i no longer see her as she wasn’t over all the greatest) were talking about my life and how i’ve had to deal with a lot of things that most people my age don’t, and i was talking about how unfair it feels, and she was trying to find some positives in my experience, and used the example that it has made me resilient.

for one, my home life was very unstable when i was young, my parents divorced and my dad was very emotionally and verbally abusive (im out of the situation now) and because of this i was more “mature” for my age because of the fact that i had dealt with difficult situations from a young age and was forced to grow up way earlier than i should.

i’ve also been told this by doctors and therapists and teachers in regards to me dealing with health issues.

because of the fact that i have had to completely reevaluate my life and deal with very debilitating illnesses, my priorities and concerns are a lot different than other people my age, and when i was talking with my occupational therapist about ways to help manage my life while dealing with my illnesses, she told me that she feels like she’s talking to an adult and that i’m the most mature person of my age that she’s met.

when people tell me these things, like in the context when my therapist was trying to make me see the positives of this, they mean well, and really it should be taken as a compliment, but i personally have a very difficult time seeing this as a good thing.

the way i see it, i shouldn’t have to be strong. i was a child, i practically still am, i shouldn’t have to be so strong and resilient. the reason i am so “strong and resilient” is because ive been forcefully dealt frankly a very unfair hand in life, and i have a hard time seeing anything positive in it because of this.

yes, being mature, being resilient is helpful, but reason i am these things was unfair.

i so wish that i had the opportunity to learn and become mature and resilient from normal life things, i wish i became this way the “normal” way. the way most people do.

having chronic illnesses, and also being neurodivergent, i already have such a high wall/divide built up between me and other people my age, i feel like such an outsider, and i just want to be normal.

i’ve had such a hard time making and keeping friendships because of this as well, i’ve lost so much because of it that i have a really hard time being grateful.

when i tried explaining this to my therapist she didn’t really know what to say besides the whole “well just try to look for the positives”, and obviously since she has not had to deal with these things she doesn’t understand so i thought i’d post this here because it’s really been on my mind lately and im hoping that maybe im not completely alone in feeling this way.

#chronic illness #chronic pain #chronically ill #fibrosucks #rant post #sorry for the rant #invisible illness #relateable #long post #disabilties #disability #disabled #pots syndrome #ehlers danlos syndrome

[hannahmanderr]

ACTUALLY WAIT I ASKED FOR DANNY AND DAMON SO I ALSO HAVE TO ASK FOR VALERIE AND JACK AND MADDIE to make it fair 😌

(affectionately calling this Duly Deputized Hunting)

part 1 ~ part 2 ~ part 3

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"So!" Jack clapped his hands together, nearly making Valerie jump from the sound. "I bet Danny told you all about the Fenton EctoScrambler, huh? Did you want a demonstration? I mean yeah, we're not using actual ghosts as test subjects anymore of course, but we can still -"

"That's okay!" Valerie said, throwing her hands up with a kind smile. "I already heard about it from Danny." That was a lie, but hopefully neither Fenton parent would pick up on her fidgety fingers and bouncing leg.

She would lose whatever nerve she'd gathered before coming here if she got sidetracked now.

Maddie, thank God, could see the somewhat unrestrained panic in her eyes. She laid a gentle hand on Jack's shoulder. "Honey, let's not overwhelm her. I'm sure I heard Danny say something about demonstrating it to her later this week." Valerie relaxed and met Maddie's eyes. A knowing twinkle glimmered behind the older woman's irises, a twinkle that carried the experience of taming her husband's energetic zeal. "You said you had something to ask us on the phone?"

And just like that, Valerie's heart rate skyrocketed again. She picked at the edge of her sweater, desperately wishing she had something to tinker with. "Yeah. I mean, yes. Only if that's okay, of course." She nearly smacked her forehead. Way to play it cool, Gray.

"Of course!" Jack said with a hearty laugh. "Why wouldn't it be okay? You're practically family! Danny's brought you 'round often enough, you should know that by now." He shot an exaggerated wink to Valerie as Maddie gasped "Jack!" and nudged him in the arm.

Valerie's face flushed warm, though strangely not from Jack's teasing. You're practically family echoed in her mind, sending an electric warmth down her spine and across her whole body.

It wasn't as though Jack and Maddie had never accepted her. Far from it, in fact; they'd been ecstatic to finally discover that the famed Amity Park Huntress was, in fact, one of their son's classmates, and his girlfriend at that. Jack in particular had been thrilled that there were more from the "younger generations" interested in taking up ghost hunting.

And both of them had supported her ceaselessly. They'd sponsored a paid internship for her the moment she'd gotten her high school diploma. Helped navigate her out of her contract with Vlad. Continued to provide her with whatever tech and repairs she needed, even after her internship technically ended. Designed gear specially for her.

It was more than she could've ever dreamed. After Danny had told her about how rough it had been getting them to let him keep up with his ghost fighting after they learned of his secret ("Of course I'm grateful they don't hate me," he'd told her, "I just wish they could be slightly less overbearing with their love."), she'd expected them to stick her with lectures about the dangers of the job and how she should be leaving such risky endeavors to the grown-up professionals.

She couldn't have been happier to have had her expectations blown out of the water.

"It means so much to hear you say that," she said, her voice beginning to tremble with emotion. Darn it, keep it together girl! "You two have done so much for me and taken me under your wing, and you've gotten nothing in return."

Maddie scoffed. "Don't be silly." She took the hand on Jack's shoulder and reached across his lap to lay it on top of Valerie's. The kind smile on Maddie's face nearly melted her heart all over again. "Not only have we gotten to see our Danny happier than he's ever been, getting to spend his time with you, but we've gotten to see you grow into a bright, beautiful young lady. That alone is entirely worth it." Jack nodded eagerly beside her.

Now the tears were truly threatening to fall, and Valerie Gray did not cry. She sniffed and took a deep breath. "These past years with Danny, getting to know you and Jazz and be a part of your family, they've been the best of my life. I know Daddy wasn't exactly keen on letting me hang out here too much at first, but he knows this whole family cares about me almost as much as he does.

"And I care about you too. I seriously can't even begin to describe everything you've done for me. I didn't even need to ask; you just did it." Another sniffle. "It's like you somehow knew what I needed before I even asked."

Maddie's smile faltered just slightly. "Well," she said slowly, "I wouldn't say that was entirely the case..."

"It was Danny," Jack said. "We wanted to help you, of course, but he was the one to tell us exactly what you needed. Kid was always fretting about how you wouldn't accept the help if it came from him, but he just loved you so much. He wanted to make sure everything was perfect for you."

Valerie's breath caught in her throat. "Danny..." she whispered.

God, she was going to strangle that boy the next time she saw him. And then kiss him like there was no tomorrow.

Breathe girl. In and out. "He's... he's done so much for me too. I wouldn't be who I am without him." In and out. "I can't imagine my life without him." In and out. "I don't think I want to live life without him."

Maddie jolted upright. "Oh my..." she breathed. "Are you saying...?"

"Yes." The tears were falling uncontrollably now, but Valerie's smile felt like it could split her face. "Yes, I absolutely am."

"What?" Jack looked back and forth between the two women. "What's she saying? What are you saying?"

Maddie had started crying too, clutching Valerie's hand in one of her own and Jack's with the other. "She wants to join our family," she said through her own tears.

"Really? That's what this is all about? Well heck, what's all the fuss for then? Like I said, you're already part of the family, Val!"

In spite of herself, Valerie giggled. "No, no," she said with a shake of her head. "I'm saying... I'm saying I want to spend every day with Danny. I want to be a part of his life forever, and I want him to be part of mine. I want to get to share you as parents, and Jazz as a sister. I don't care what might happen, I just know I want me and Danny to face it, together, for the rest of our lives.

She took another deep breath. "I'm asking for your blessing to ask Danny to marry me."

Valerie suddenly found herself engulfed by the warm embrace of two sobbing Fenton parents.

Soon to be her parents too.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

part 2 here

#danny phantom #valerie gray #jack fenton #maddie fenton #gray ghost #hannah writes #ask hannah #ask game #dooshek #im sure you can see where this is going *evil grin* #okay but real talk #valerie deserves all the good parents

[luveline]

small vent (please don’t read if it will stress you out or if you’re young — cw of past self harm and unhappiness but I am in no active danger and there’s nothing to worry about, but also just mentioning that in case someone were to open this and then get surprised by the content)

I feel so lonely lately and I don’t know what to do because i feel like I am making an effort to connect with people, maybe I’m not, but I feel as though I am and it’s just really frustrating to have that disconnect of what I feel like I’m doing and the actual result of it, I feel like no one really wants to talk to me, does that make sense? Like I can’t actually have a conversation with anyone, and I’m not blaming anyone for this, because I’m not a good conversationalist, this isn’t me trying to make bad people out of anybody at all but just I’m so frustrated and so lonely and it’s not getting any better. and of course as tends to happen I feel like, really down( and like time is slipping through my fingers, and I feel like I can’t do anything I want to do because I end up worrying or upset about something instead, I can’t stop thinking about stuff I’ve said or things I need to do or things other people have said and what I thought they’re thinking of me. I used to basically feel like this all the time a few years ago but it was going away, until recently when I feel very alone and like it’s worse than it was. I also feel super pathetic once again for putting this here instead of a diary but it’s hard sometimes to not want to know what you guys think, like —is this normal? I worry I’m too concerned with myself

I’ve also been thinking a lot for the last few weeks about hurting myself, because I used to in the past. I won’t do it of course and like if I were to do it it’s not as though I would want to mention that here because I know it’s catching and it hurts people because hurting yourself shouldn’t be presented as an option and it isn’t an option, so I won’t do it, but I do want to hurt myself because I just don’t feel well!! I actually did contact my doctor a few days ago to talk about how I am and my health but they haven’t gotten back to me yet. I know that it’s not how you should cope with bad feelings, but it’s also the only thing that’s ever worked for me

I think all in all I feel really alone, and I feel like I’m always embarrassing myself, like, I feel like the people around me are embarrassed of me. I don’t know why I feel so bad and if it’s normal or not. Like, should I more urgently go and see my doctor, or does everyone struggle feeling such low self esteem? I know life is hard for everybody, and for many much harder than I’ll ever experience, and so I’m caught feeling very ashamed of myself and alone, and like I’m doing things wrong but unaware of it. It’s a relief at least to not be suicidal because in the past I would get so anxious about things I would get tunnel vision and I’d need it to stop, whereas now I just feel quite depressed (sorry if that’s the wrong word) about it. I wish I could identify what it is that’s throwing me off kilter so badly. I hope it’s okay to talk about this here because I don’t think anyone will understand in my life how I’m feeling, I try to talk about it with my mam sometimes but she’s not the most empathetic person, or like she’s too empathetic maybe, and if I tell her I’m feeling depressed she’ll say me too and then guide the conversation about her life without really giving me a chance to speak to her about what’s really on my mind, or she might tell me (again) to go on ozempic (which I do not medically need). And I love my sisters but I can’t tell them either, so it’s just like desperately wanting to confide in someone, but everyone else is too busy

I think my life is just a black hole forever, you know, I don’t mean to be upset about it because things are better than they were, but it’s hard knowing that I’m not experiencing what other people are, and that I’m not connecting with people, and that I’m hard to like

[poppyclangen]

Since the latest update caused me to experience a lot of feelings, I am going to put them here:

Aww! Honeypaw, Darkfoot and Loudwhisker's surviving kit from the first litter, found a kit for them to adopt. That's cute!

*On the same moon* Game: Haha. Honeypaw's dead :P Happy Moon 56, DarkLoud!

Not Bogbud ˚‧º·(˃̣̣̥o˂̣̣̥)‧º· ! I love her name and she seems like a nice cat and now she is dead and Fallenstar's family (which includes the entire clan) is grieving her.

Doesn't help that she was one of two surviving kits from a litter that died at birth. (I hoped I phrased that well (;^_^A )

Marshfleck is going to feel so guilty for a long time, I bet you.

Me, a few days ago: 'Hm. I wonder what Burrowbreeze is up to?'

Me, after reading Moon 56: 'Oh, that's what.'

Death joke incoming. In...

3

2

1

You know, Burrowbreeze was brought into the clan to teach the young cats what it is like to live a long life.

Well, I tell you what!

It's death (*＾-‘) 乃 !

(I'll give you a minute to recover from that)

...

I doubt there will be an in-clan war but relations and cats are broken, to say the least.

I hope you don't mind the ramble and I wish you (and the rest of the clan because holy fuck...!) the best of luck ღゝ◡╹ )ノ♡

HEE HEE I'm so glad you, along with others, are attached to PoppyClan like I am, and are also SCREAMING. I love hearing your thoughts- I feel the same way!! I was crazy attached to BogBud, being the first kit profile I clicked on, and the first kit born to PoppyClan. There were so many little interactions between her, MarshFleck, and FallenStar that you guy's didn't get to see- almost every moon, she and MarshFleck were doing something. She thought the WORLD of him and he loved her so so much. If the game could auto assign adoptive parents, he would have been her father from day one. He is the cat who named her and cared for her when her mother was too grief stricken to do so. He was her mentor, and watched her grow every day. Her mother gave her the name 'Bud' to mark the beginning of what was supposed to be a long, full life. The next few moons, we will be seeing the aftermath of the clans grief. The clan founders (Fallen, Marsh, Loud, and Dark) raised these kits in the hopes that they could rebuild their once broken home- though now, that dream feels a lifetime away. Young cats are taking a look inwards, wondering what it really means to be a clan at all. I'm super excited to share PoppyClan's future with you guys!!

#inbox #clangen #Moon 56 spoilers