#also he is supposed to be in the batmobile but fuck that

[bepoucorp]

"But not all hurricanes are bad."

#visualization of my fav fanfic rn LOL #batjokes #lego batjokes #lego batman #lego joker #joker #batman #bruce wayne #fanart #bepoucorp #sorry im cringe HAHKSHDWA #i love them sm #astrodisea #also he is supposed to be in the batmobile but fuck that #i cant draw cars #jaxverse

[rboooks]

DC X DP fic: Legal Compensation

Bruce Wayne doesn't know what sick monster would think it is funny to ruin Jason's grave, but when an alert arrives at the cave, he's flying towards the cemetery intending to find out.

And teach them some respect.

Of course, he knows Jason's not in there- not after his son returned with more hate and rage than a person- but it was still his last resting place.

He barely acknowledges Tim and Damian pulling up beside the Batmobile, each on their own bike while Dick, Steph, and Cass fly above him. They all got the alert. None of them are happy.

When they arrive, it's to see a teenager happily whistling as he shovels away layers of dirt. The stranger is in a white and black hoodie, a neon green ghost crossing from the front to the back, and his white hair with glowing green eyes lets them know it's not a human.

Or if it is, then not an average human. Meta, based on how he picks up way more dirt than he should be able to lift with his glowing green shovel.

They also see Jason get there first, his eyes glowing in Pit Rage and .points a gun to the back of the teenager's head. Bruce opens his mouth to shout, Damian manages to throw a ninja star, but they are far too late.

Jason pulls the trigger. A large bang is heard across the cemetery. The teenager drops into the deep hole he is making.

The family can only watch as the Pit Rage disappears from Jason's mind, and horror creeps onto his face as he realizes what he has done. It's too late now, though. The child is dead.

Bruce feels sick to his stomach- and then The teenager stands up, his head reforming in terrible familiar green liquid. The family forms a protective circle around a frozen Jason as the teenager turns around to look at them with Lazarus' green eyes and smiles.

Smiles at Jason with far too bright eyes. "I found you! I didn't realize you already left your grave, but that makes things easier. Jason Peter Todd, yes?"

"Who are you?" Bruce demands, stepping before his second oldest.

The white hair boy's smile becomes wider- if that's possible. "I'm Phantom. I'm working on behalf of the Ghost King."

Damian hisses, "What does the most powerful being in the multiverse want with Todd?"

"Baby Bat?" Dick asks without really asking.

"The Ghost King is the ruler of the Infinite Realms. The place where grandfather harvests the Lazarus Pit."

That's not good.

The teenager laughs. "The very same. He wants me to offer Legal Compensation to Mr. Todd."

"Legal Compensation? For what?" Tim asks this time.

"The glitch. See, Mr.Todd wasn't supposed to die- he was supposed to break the door and crawl to safety while the bomb jammed. At the same time, the Master of Time was preoccupied with another dimension saving the lives of six very important people to the Ghost King from a junk food explosion. Because of that, he was not there to control time correctly, creating a glitch in this universe's time flow. It speeded up certain areas, in your case, the location of the bomb's jam, making it explode earlier than it should have. He corrected it by bringing you back, but you were in a grave by that point. The Master of Time realized the grave injustice this was, so he sent me as legal Compensation."

That.... was a lot.

"How are you legal compensation?" Jason growls.

"Well, those people were just as important to me as the Ghost King. Since you lost your life due to the incident, I will give you my natural life here as a human for you to use." The teenager's form shifts after an ample bright light, and suddenly they are looking at a perfectly black hair blue eye average looking human who smiles happily at them. "Ta-da! So what do you want me to do first, Master Todd?"

"No." Jason hisses, looking angrier than he's ever looked before. Bruce can't say he doesn't feel the same way. "No, the Master of Time does not get to kill me. Go oopsie-daisy and then send me a fucking slave as an apology!"

"Not a slave- more of a- ugh Bulter!" The teenager argues, trying to crawl out of the hole and falling down, into a heap as he oversteps. "Wow, being a full human is going to get some getting use to."

"No!" Jason yells, turns around, and walks away.

"Wait! Wait! Master Todd, wait for me!" The teenager calls desperately, but Jason disappears into the shadows of Gotham without a backward glance. The boy slides into the mudd, voice muffled as he screams.

Steph takes pity on him offering her hand to help him out of the hole. "What's your name, by the way?"

"Phantom." The teenager says with a grateful smile taking the hand and climbing out. He gives the rest of the family an awkward smile "Danny Phantom"

Bruce ends up with another son by the following day. Jason ends up with a restless wanna-be butler who follows him everywhere, trying to serve him. The fact he cure his Pit Madness didn't seem to even register with him.

Jason wants Danny to leave him alone and quit the "I must spend the rest of my human life providing for your every whim". It's getting creepy.

#dc x dp crossover #Legal Compensation #Part 1 #Clockwork stepping in for Danny messed up other timelines #The glitch that brought Jason todd was that #Danny is now a full human meant to serve Jason as a sorry #Or is he????

[robintherobiner]

I love Tim, he's such a chaotic little gremlin, and heres why.

(it does slowly get darker and more so me listing reasons on how Tim would be a great potential villain)

Figured out Batman's identity at nine years old all because he remembered a flip he only saw when he was 3

BLACKMAILED BATMAN INTO LETTING HIM BE ROBIN

Blown up multiple LoA bases (mainly for funzies)

Made an entire batmobile by hiding it in the batarang budget (again, mainly for funzies)

Tried to clone his best friend after he died (the best friend is already a clone, so Tim wanted a clone-of-a-clone)

Practically single handily saved his mentor from being lost in the time stream bc he saw a FUCKING PORTRAIT AND THOUGHT "huh, this dude looks so similar to bruce.. too similar"

Fell asleep while on a roller-coaster (was also on a date at the time, if i remember corectly)

He was about to kill Captain Boomerang as revenge for his dads death, and had to be talked out of it

His detective skills are on par with Bruce, so much so that Ra's (one of the people who trained Bruce before he became Batman) calls him Detective which is/was his title for Bruce

Faked having an uncle after his dad died just so he didn't have to get adopted

There was a mission where Tim became Batman, and used the gun that killed Bruce's parents to kill many of the rouges in Gotham, went back in time, and then that timeline was erased by threatening to SHOOT HIMSELF. not future-Tim, the gun weilding maniac, no, just normal robin-Tim

He broke Jason out of jail, despite the fact that he tried to murder him. Tim also broke Lynx (?) out of jail, when she tried to kill him too.

Despite many people saying he's the 'worst fighter in the family' he was literally trained by Lady Shiva, Rahul Lama, Shen Chi, Legless Master, Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson, Alfred Pennyworth, Cassandra Cain, and Barbra Gordon. All of which are amazing fighters, some of which are like, mass murderers i think (Lady Shiva, hello??)

A different future Tim came back to the past to kill Kate Kane (aka batwoman) and although she was saved, he didn't hold any regret.

Almost killed Johnny Warlock for almost killing Stephanie, and he only stopped because Batman showed up and reminded him of the no-killing rule and the fact that Robin is supposed to be Batmans light (which means that Tim didn't stop because he remembered murder is wrong, he stopped because batman says its wrong, if ya get what i mean)

Beat the Joker while Batman was out of country, on his first time patrolling the city on his own

And finally, he happily (and successfully) lies to Batman

#tim drake #batman #batfam #batfamily #feral tim drake #tim drake is a menace #red robin #dc robin #dc comics #dc universe #this boy has the potential to become a supervillain and he HAS #i love him so much #chaotic little gremlin #tim drake is chaotic

[suzukiblu]

sentence: "The last news Bruce was expecting to get this fine day was that his sons had procreated." with dickjay :D

The last news Bruce was expecting to get this fine day was that his sons had procreated.

". . . how," Bruce asks finally, just staring at the tiny little newborn curled up asleep in Jason's arms in the backseat of the Batmobile while Jason decidedly ignores him. Bruce is very aware that Dick and Jason are both thoroughly AMAB and there is no possible way he missed them either hiring a surrogate or hiding a romantic or sexual relationship from him either, at least in the long term, and also the DNA test came back declaring them both the father and somehow returned no apparent mother, never mind how DNA is actually supposed to work, so . . . what the fuck, exactly?

"Catie was a surprise baby!" Dick says brightly from the passenger seat, valiantly pretending to be making sense. Bruce keeps staring at the newborn. He's supposed to be driving, but the staring is very much taking precedence right now.

"You named it?" he says, earning a glower from Jason, and is positive that the name "Catie" came from "Catherine", so . . . that bodes concerningly, for certain.

"Catherine Mary," Dick says, which bodes even more concerningly. How attached are Dick and Jason already, and where did this baby even actually come from?

. . . grandbaby, Bruce thinks involuntarily, and then sighs at himself.

Well, now he's just doomed, isn't he.

#dickjay #bruce wayne #dick grayson #jason todd #batfamily #batman #nightwing #red hood #anonymous

[weebsinstash]

Ya know, I've made posts about the yandere Batfamily before, and I've been thinking lately about one person in particular, and I think I've decided that Alfred is probably the most dangerous and formidable person in that entire house and have been brainstorming what a formidable platonic yandere guardian sorta figure he would be

For one, he's the man that canonically kept THE Batman from going over the edge, basically THE sole reason Bruce Wayne grew into the man he is. Literally, in alternate universes where Bruce never had Alfred, he literally 9 times out of 10 becomes a murdering sociopath. Alfred doesn't just have intelligence, he has EMOTIONAL intelligence

We're talking about the tenured elderly man who is former MI6 and doesn't give a fuck about murder, has killed, and will kill again. Bruce finds someone attacking you, he'll beat them up and cart them off to jail to be arrested and rehabilitated. Alfred will pull a pistol on a robber and shoot him dead before he allows you to get even a single scratch on you, just puts the guy down, "oh dear, I suppose I'll be late making dinner tonight, it seems I'll have to give testimony to Mr Gordon again"

I've seen fics where the sidekicks kidnap Reader or disable them for Bruce's sake, but don't you think Bruce himself would cross that line for Alfred? This man cooks, cleans, does everything for him, is practically a second father and his greatest friend, really kind of RAISED HIM. I just picture Alfred getting attached to Reader like you're practically his grandchild and then you return to your normal life, move out after staying them for a period of time or whatever, and Bruce can tell Alfred is... out of sorts, a little sad frown on his old withered face as he absent-mindedly sweeps the same corner of the same room for an hour, sighing, thinking about how he wanted to teach you all sorts of things, but, you're just gone now. Siiiiiiiiigh. And Bruce can't stand seeing Alfred like, actually depressed, even making mistakes he doesn't usually make, dropping things, lacking his usual playful sarcastic wit, just kind of a shell of his former self. You don't think you'd be getting an extra super special Uber ride in the Batmobile from the Dark Knight himself after that?

But I also think Alfred would be capable of really putting his foot down. He once told a disrespectful Damian he should be thankful Alfred wasn't his father in a very "because I'd actually discipline you" coded sort of way, and, say Reader grew up without a dad, or any parents and maybe has some traumas and potential behavioral issues from that. I could see Alfred being the kindest, sweetest, most patient grandpa, teaching you how to bake, keeping you company in the library, teaching you all kinds of things, and then the second you do things like start getting drunk, acting out, THROWING things, then he's putting his foot down, "now you listen HERE! Your behavior is absolutely unacceptable and you will not be allowed to degrade yourself within the walls of this home!" and manages to simultaneously scold you without putting you down, leaving you in ashamed embarrassed tears over your behavior that you're standing there crying, and he pulls you to take a seat in a nice chair and starts combing your hair and telling you he just wants best for you while you're bawling for his forgiveness, and he tells you he's already forgiven you and that he can run you a nice bath before bed

I can see a captive Reader scenario where you manage to break out of the house while everyone else is gone and you think, oh, you're home free! Batman and everyone else is busy! Lost in your own hubris as if Alfred doesn't have perfect knowledge of everything in the Batcave including the equipment and vehicles. You're in an alley cornered by a bunch of drunks who just want to beat the shit out of someone and suddenly, is that Batman? Wait, the costume is different, and the height, and, the body shape, and, and, and it doesn't even matter because Alfred can still lay all of them flat, blood on his knuckles as he wearily regards you, "you're not going to make a tired old man have to carry you to the car, are you?" and after what you just saw, you know better than to put up resistance

But like I can't get over the idea of, Reader staying at the Wayne residence for a limited period of time, you're injured and Bruce is offering you safe harbor, you're being targeted by a specific criminal group and need protection until the thugs are caught, something along those lines, and, one day, when everything is better, you just. Leave unexpectedly. They had already offered you a permanant place in the house but you still seem to be falling into a depression until one day you're straight up gone, only leaving a note that Alfred is the one to find, only 3 word, "Thank you. Sorry." and hr suddenly??? Can't think straight??? You're gone??? Why??? Why didn't you tell them?? Are you hurt?? Did they do something wrong??? How is he supposed to know if you're sad or if you're hungry or if you're in DANGER if he doesn't know where you are and what you're doing at all possible hours?

Just visualizing the idea of Bruce coming home one day and you're suddenly in the house again and you're seeming very much distressed but Alfred is looking fit as a fiddle again and it is very extremely incredibly obvious to Bruce that Alfred straight up brought you back against your will. But. He doesn't care because he agrees with Alfred that OBVIOUSLY since you're a member of the FAMILY NOW that OF COURSE you have to stay in the house

Can you imagine yandere Alfred but Bruce and everyone else is just, totally normal and just hardcore mega coping with Alfred's sudden change in behavior and occasional questionable actions. One day Alfred is dusting and without turning around, "Master Bruce, would you care to fetch my granddaughter for me while i finish this room?" and Bruce is just like "granddaughter????" And Alfred looks to him like he just said something BEYOND stupid, "Yes, my granddaughter, about ye high, awfully broody much like yourself, currently housed in the spare second floor bedroom at the end of the hall on the right? You act as if she didnt help bake that casserole you and the boys absolutely devoured last night"

Nightwing going down into the Batcave for like actual mission stuff and Alfred is already using the Batcomputer to monitor all your online internet use. What's that, some young man is trying to slide into your DMs? O-oh no, there was, uh, suddenly a glitch and he received a threatening message with no traceable source that told him to stay the bloody hell away from you! Whoops!

You're just his captive little grandchild who he helps teach recipes to and teaching you anything you're curious about. You make an offhanded comment one day that you would've loved to learn to play piano "but I'm too old now/it's too late now/I probably wouldn't be any good at it" and later on, after Alfred has brought you back after trying to live alone again (you being drugged if need be), and when you wake up he's all smiles, telling you about all the new structure he's about to introduce to your life, and, of course, you have to pick a day of the week for your new (now mandatory) piano lessons :) on Mondays you'll go for walks and have tea in the garden, Tuesdays you'll read in the library, on Wednesdays you'll learn piano, on Thursday he'll teach you a new recipe every week, Friday--- this old man is gonna force you to be productive and happy is all I'm gonna say

#yandere x reader #yandere Batfamily #yandere batman #yandere stuff #sinprompts

[dairy-farmer]

You ever think about how Tim has NEVER had normal sex in his life?

Has only known superhumans and Peak Physical Condition trainwrecks?

Think about it. Who would he have lost his virginity too? Some grabby, gross, civilian he can't relate too? That reeks of B.O. and would ask QUESTIONS about his battle scars? Or his BROS? Who he trusts. Who love him and understand him. Who where THERE when he got those wounds.

Who would stop if he told them too.

He totally, after working up the courage, siddles up to Bart and asks if he... you know... could help him with something. Because Tim's NOT about to risk his first time to SuperStrength and complexe FEELINGS. And Bart is from the future. He's much more chill about this.

But he's? Also a fucking SPEEDSTER? They VIBRATE when they get excited. That same stamina that can let them run for what TO US, OUTSIDE the Speedforce, seems like hours? It's literally DAYS to THEM. Fuckers are stamina BEASTS.

But Tim is still learning, hasn't figured that out yet. Bart is his Fun Friend. Light hearted and chill. Good first time material.

So they fumble out of their clothes. Bart getting more and more hyped. Vibrating. Trying to stay in slow time with Tim. They fumble about, learning what touches feel good. Vibrating fingers on his clit? Feel REALLY good. The same for inside him. A little lubricant, because he read you're supposed too, aaand? Oh. Oh god.

And look, Bart DID try! It just felt... *incoherent noise*

Which leaves Tim getting fucked at superspeed. Nerves lighting up and muscles trying to react to something that's already moved on. Getting gushed into again and again like a stream that keeps coming, ruining his sheets. Feeling hands everywhere as the sensations catch up.

He can't possibly keep up. Gets offs so many times his brain decides its NAP TIME now. Wakes up to Bart panting into his neck, his puss full and gushing cum down into the PUDDLE under his hips, and another orgasm.

Tim learns that Speedsters tend to marathon their sex.

His everything feels bruised.

Bart has to fix his bed as Tim steals Bart's. But! No longer a virgin. And when he recovers? He TOTALLY gets the "deal" with sex now. (No he doesn't. Speedster sex is an outlier.)

Thing is? No one thinks to correct this misinformation. Why would they? OBVIOUSLY somebody ELSE gave Young Justice "The Talk", right? Nope. Individuals got it, but not as a team. Tim never got SHIT. He RESEARCHED.

Figured out "safe sex" is birth control and NOT letting the Half Kryptonian with super strength be "on top". You have to ride THEM or you risk bruises in delicate places and potentially broken bones. Luckily, Kon has TTK. So he can help.

When Tim doesn't want to do all the work or is tired, Kon can just... wrap him up in that full body hug of a telekinetic field. Lift him and slide him back down, as fast or as slow as feels good. Tease everywhere that feels good at once. Even if Tim drifts off, while Kon is teasing himself after making Tim orgasm, his whole body is supported so he can just sort of relax. Drift and feel good.

Let Kon use him for a bit.

It takes so LONG for Kon to cum, but Tim thinks they're getting better at it!

Of course, Batman would NEVER. Is distant. But Tim tries his best to be a good Robin. Bond in any way he can. It all falls short. Bruce brittle and hurting. Then? Some idiot tries to recreate Ivy's Pollen. She catches word. Does NOT appreciate that. It's a shit show.

Their masks hold. But in the fight, Batman is sent crashing into a crate of experimental samples. It wouldn't be a problem, if not for the metal joints of the crate stabbing JUST enough to break skin, though a weak point in his Armour.

They don't notice until the fights over. Long after an emergency counter-toxin would be effective.

Tim manages to get him to the Batmobile. Get them back. Agent A, has a fever and is upstairs. Fast asleep in bed. Can't help. The emergency Ivy counter agents will only go so far. Luckily, Tim knows where the napping couch is. It has a pull out bed.

Bruce doesn't put together his plan until he's already half removed the suit, his brain already sluggish and overheating. He tries to object, but it is strangled into a groan when Tim leans forward and tries his hand at using his mouth. Because to be honest, Tim isn't sure Bruce will FIT.

He barely fits a few inch in his mouth.

He's gonna have to try though. Pollen really only has one cure. And if Bruce had groaned at his mouth? He nearly sobs for air when Tim carefully rocks over him, lines up and breathes into the strain as he let's himself slide down. Bruce's hand shoot up to catch his hips, flexing like they want to slam him down and lift him off, like they a warring and can't decide.

But Bruce's hips know what they need. Are desperately rocking up. A little deeper. A little deeper. Impaling Tim on the biggest cock he's ever taken. Tim let's Bruce control things. Take what he needs. Rubs his clit to try and help with the strain. And then? He's so, SO full.

Bruce is rolling them. Hiking up his hips and leaning forward to rest his sweating forhead on Tim's shoulder. Holds him possesive and close as he fucks him. Slow at first them faster and faster. Harder. Until it feels like Tim's insides are being battered. Growling in his ear, his, his. His robin. Good boy, his.

Like something finally snapped and all the desperation finally fell out. The lust and greed.

It's like Bruce is trying to drain him of every orgasm he can possibly HAVE. Too much. He's so tired. It's good. Overwhelming. Goes on and on and ON. Surely he's cured now? Right? Tim drifts. Wakes up in Bruce's Bed. Weren't they in the cave? But Bruce is still inside him, rocking, gently and just to feel it. Shhh, shhh, go back to bed. Yeah. Okay.

Bruce is a lot nice after that though. They're closer. Tim has definitely found his bonding activity.

It works on Dick too. Who was between relationships. Depressed again. Lonely. And... well, Tim is so WARM. Feels so good to cuddle. Too bend in half in a good ol mating press and just? Get as close as he CAN. It's fun to eat him out until he sobs. Sit him in his lap like a cuddly little buddy and split him open, carry him around all day like that. Maybe Dick gets a little bit obsessed too. A little attached. Who's to say?

But! Each and every person? Who wants a piece? Not normal! Super human or frankly human outliers with intimacy issues that make them backed up! Tim who thinks Sex=Railed Into Oblivion! That you gotta SCHEDULE around it, because OBVIOUSLY you won't be able to walk or move after. This is normal and to be expected, right?

What do you MEAN "no"?

-🐼

tim being completely out of touch about what normal sex is supposed to be like 😭😭😭😭! the only people he's ever fucked has been people who are so beyond what could constitute as normal and all have conditioned tim to believe that sex is just LIKE that 😭

#answered asks #asks #anonymous

[cardinalcheerio]

I believe that while dick is a horrendous driver; so are the rest of the Batkids

I mean especially the ones who were robin/Batgirl wayyy before they could drive.

Examples:

Dicks driving and we all know he's trash. I mean. I haven't read many of the comics. But I can't imagine someone who grew up riding trains in the circus, then being chauffeured (thats hard to spell) around until hes old enough to move to a different city (I'm not from a city but most people walk right?) Then driving a police car which a guarantee nobody cares how he's driving in it. Ain't no way bro knows road rules/courtesy.

Jason was too poor for cars, then I suppose he knew how they work. But knowing how a car works and knowing how the road works especially in gotham are two very different things. He drives a motorcycle (badass) which has some different rules, and honestly there is no way he knows how to drive timeline wise. He died at 16, so no licence/learning (doubt he learned at 15 in gotham.) Came back as an adult after being in nanda par bat then traveled via motorcycle or roof. There is no time he would've learnt to drive a car.

Tim, honestly. I just think Tim would stare into the road and either cause 6 crashes or not even remember driving. He's very detail oriented, but also crazy busy so I'd see him speeding, thinking he could drift out of the way of a stopped car and realize, "oh shit. Not the batmobile this doesn't stop as well!". Also honestly, who would've taught Tim to drive? YouTube?

Steph, shed hit every curb in history. I have no reason to believe this, because steph is criminally underrepresented and i can't find any in depth stuff bout her. But i just think she'd be blasting music and some idiot would cut her off, she'd get pissed (as any gothamite would), cut him off and get hit. Bruce would be buying her a new car cause whats the point of having a billionaire be your pseudo father if he ain't gonna pay for shit?

Cass, i think she could drive if needed, but just a casual drive to get coffee or something? Road laws in America are confusing as shir cause rhey change everywhere you go. And it's gotham so nobody is gonna follow any, so pretty much anyone but Alfred is fucked. I think she'd be a good high speed driver tho

Damian, bros 12 (in my mind atleast), and has been chauffeured around his whole life. Ain't no way.

Duke, honestly. May be the only hope. Just cause he had a stable family for a bit that prob talked to him a bit about driving. Still wouldn't trust him driving me, though. Plus, Gotham is a city and most people prob walk cause of the traffic.

Could you imagine comming home from somewhere and turning on the radio to see why you're stuck, "we have reports that every road in gotham is shit again because of some second rate villian and batman. Those motherfuckers are the reason we have such high taxes. Just sell your car and move. Probably quicker to leave for metropolis than wait in this traffic.:

#batfam headcanons #batfam #bat family #batfamily #jason todd #bat brothers #dick grayson #red hood #tim drake #incorrect batfamily #batfamily shenanigans #batboys #batkids #batman #batfam fanfic #batfam incorrect quotes #incorrect batfamily quotes #incorrect batman quotes #incorrect batsibling quotes #batgirls #incorrect dick grayson #nightwing #spoiler #stephanie brown #cassandra cain #damian wayne #damian al ghul #duke thomas #signal

[fractualized]

Alright. Let's break down this "oh" of an ending. NEGATIVE NANCY, COMING THROUGH

Spoilers, ho!

Ending a story is hard, if they're long or short. Whether you wrap up key threads or leave them open, you want some kind of takeaway that puts a period on things. Even in comics, where we know these characters will go on and on, ideally a story will end in a way that just... fits. Even amateur fic writers have loads of WIPs just sitting there because exactly how to end this damn thing eludes them.

I don't know if Rosenberg had an ending in mind when he started The Man Who Stopped Laughing. I don't know if he decided he'd figure it out by the end of it's year-long run. I don't know if DC Editorial lets people do that; it sounds insane, but if you've been paying attention to their current level of editorial "oversight," which I imagine is supposed to make concurrent titles mesh together reasonably well, I wouldn't be shocked if they let people wing it. Or, more likely, perhaps DC Editorial swooped in and made Rosenberg change the ending he had planned and that's why the result falls flat.

In any case, after 11 issues of enjoying myself, I'm left feeling deflated.

But let's start where #12 does, with the Joker who's been told he's John Keyser, a toxin'd henchmen that the real Joker made into a doppelganger for funsies. He approaches a hotdog vendor.

I'm stuck on "Hello. I've been looking for you"?? I didn't catch that on my first read. Joker has a favorite hotdog vendor? lol

Shut up, Waffles!! All we have is your word for it!!

In any case, hey, Keyser Joker has already been Jokering this long, so yeah, why not keep going? And why not with help from poor woobie Jason, fresh from nearly getting himself killed in Gotham War?

Bruce did not fix Jason at the end of Gotham War, so his adrenaline is still triggering fear in his brain. But Keyser Joker has a solution for that!

It's a tiny dose of Joker toxin to take the edge off of Bruce's programming. Joker makes a point of saying that the effects are only temporary, though. (And like, I assume this is just the quick-fix solution Rosenberg came up with to pull off his own ending when told Bruce's plans for Jason over in the other titles.) Jason is skeptical of this "help," naturally, but Keyser Joker brings up their matching interest: getting rid of the other Joker.

Jason, why you gotta ruin Albert's good time? 🙄

Cut to Red Hood dragging a clown henchman through the streets of Gotham.

But "his" face being blacked out and some of the dialogue clue the reader in: things aren't what they seem.

DERAIL TIME: what is up with this batmobile?

Like from some other angles, it looks sportier, but in most of the panels it looks like an old Buick? lol ANYWAY.

With the flaily way this person jumps off the bike and runs, I was sure that this was Keyser Joker and we might see Batman interact with him. Alas.

It's Ravager, who survived last issue's explosion. She's helping Jason 1) distract Batman and 2) get Albert out of harm's way, far from Keyser Joker's plan.

Naturally Keyser Joker is planning something more destructive than he's led Jason to believe. Also like…

The idea that Keyser Joker really is this John guy, not the real deal, is still not sitting fucking right with me. Seeing him here in another costume, with a goofy death train with mismatched eyes just like his, it feels like a signal that he actually is Joker and Waffles is either lying or mistaken somehow. Like compared to the other Joker, who we haven't seen in a costume? Who left Gotham for weird reasons? I really thought there was going to be a reverse reveal.

And since it doesn't come, I guess it's a good time to mention that! There is no reverse reveal of who the real Joker is. Things get a little muddy later, but…. hrm. HRM.

That said, the other Joker does something pretty dang Jokery: he shows up in a dirigible with his face on it.

Killer Moth and a bunch of clown goons (that aren't supposed to be available because of Gotham War but WHATEVER) attach the dirigible to the train and it's pretty chaotic!

I love when villains are like, "Look I may kill people, but an endangered gorilla?! Get outta here!" 😂

Jason also arrives in style.

I guess he was observing Ravager's distraction?? Which feels like it defeats part of the purpose of having her do the distraction. But then he couldn't have this cool entrance in which he bludgeons people with a motorcycle. Trade offs!

Meanwhile, Real Joker makes it to the front of the train to confront Keyser Joker. One of Real's goons offers to shoot Keyser, but Real Joker wants to make this personal and kills the poor hench so he can do it himself.

Jason coming in like YEEEEEAAAAHHHHH 😎

Then he gets the bad news.

Keyser is as casually suicidal as your average Joker! Also "Real" Joker never acknowledges Red Hood's identity, afaik. It's always Keyser Joker. Details like this got me thinking that reverse reveal was coming, AND YET.

That aside, next comes a fun comedy beat.

Real Joker going right for the hair!

Jason isn't going to let this be the end of it, of course, and once again Killer Moth must suffer at his hands.

Jason shoots so many clowns. Just never the one he wants. 😞

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaait wait wait. You're telling me that Bruce knew about the imminent TWO JOKERS situation. But he decided to prioritize a report of Red Hood dragging a clown through the streets. When in the same breath he's saying there are other people coming to the scene with him, so he obviously could've sent someone else? On the same day Batman #139 is like "oooh Bruce is totally onto Joker now"? This is what you're telling me?? Augh.

Well, we can't rely on Batman right now, clearly, so it's up to Jason.

Meanwhile, Keyser Joker has told the other one that he actually does have a secret way off the runaway train safely. After they fight some more, the tune starts to change.

Alright so, this "deal," which would sort of start them back at square one, doesn't bother me because obviously it's on shaky-ass ground and one of them is definitely killing the other before this issue is over. What does bug me is the "franchising" line, for two reasons:

1) Is this supposed to imply that Real Joker is the one who was behind Joker Incorporated in the Batman Incorporated issues, not a third one?

2) I was just SO SURE it was another indication we were getting a reverse reveal. Joker absolutely does not love the franchising idea. That's kind of been the point of this whole series. The genuine Joker in Keyser Joker's hallucination/memory said that having two Jokers around is stupid. HRRRRMMM.

Anyhow, they leave the train together, though the escape plan is literally just jumping off, which has more issues than they bargained for.

So do you think, assuming the Gotham War writers actually communicated at least a little, that Zdarsky asked Rosenberg what he needed Jason for at the end of TMWSL, and Rosenberg was like, "oh I need him to heroically crash a toxic blimp and almost die?" And then Zdarsky was like, "er, I need him to heroically fly a plane into a magic meteor and almost die?" And then they just shrugged and closed the Zoom?

But yeah, the blimp crashes, and I'm sort of confused because I thought that earlier Bruce was saying that even if the toxin gets into the water, it'll still make it's way to the city. So for one thing, it's still exploding in the air and it's still gonna drift. And the parts that dissolve in water are still gonna drift. There's a part to the equation missing here.

But these two are just thrilled at the excitement.

Until the sudden yet inevitable betrayal.

BUT WHO WAS JOKE

Shortly after this, Ravager shows up with Manhunter, who also survived last issue's explosion. (It just doesn't come up at all. Like it doesn't have to, I guess, but it's just weird that there's not a word or wound about it.) Ravager dives into the water looking for Jason, because she instinctually knows he did something grand and dumb. She finds him among the clown bodies and brings him to shore.

Nothing can kill this man! He came back from the dead with nine lives! And also maybe that Lazarus resin from TFZ is still helping, I dunno.

Elsewhere along the shore, what's left of both Jokers' crews find themselves waiting in the same spot for the Joker they expect to be triumphant.

You know what. I'm soured on Waffles now. Leave him.

And then, from the water…

And that's it. That's how it ends. With a sort of snide cop-out?

Like, it's Joker's POV, so yeah, you could say the dickish tone is just him. But following this story for a year, and then seeing it end with simply the old "you'll never know which Joker prevailed," it doesn't feel clever or whatever this is going for. It just feels obnoxious.

Honestly, it feels like the same takeaway as freaking Three Jokers. 😐 That it doesn't matter who Joker is. All the lead-up to this, where maybe we get a tiny bit of depth and development, even if just in this story, eh. Doesn't matter! We're ending this with blah payoff.

On the other hand, the part of about about there being more questions, about this ending not being tidy, makes me think that this is leaving open the possibility that Keyser Joker actually was the real one. After all, we don't get a flashback to the actual events. The events we see are part of a hallucination, and Keyser never said he had clear memories of being the real or the fake one. He just went from assuming he was the real one to taking Waffles' word for it that he was the henchman.

Also, Keyser Joker was always the Joker giving narration. And the narration boxes for the Final Joker at the end remain in his style. So it seems like we actually have a huge indication of which Joker prevailed-- unless we're meant to assume that if the other Joker prevailed, he merely took over the narration.

I mean, this is what we have. So if I can just choose what I want to believe, I'm going to believe both that Keyser was actually the real guy and that he won. But it puts a real sour taste in my mouth to be super engaged with a story and wanting an ending that says something about Joker's character… and the ending is just that one murders the other and you don't know who, neener neener. It's anticlimactic. It's a predictable direction that I thought SURELY Rosenberg wouldn't go in. It feels like a dick move.

And... what else is there to say? So ends my year of consistently buying a comic, I guess. Nothing else has really grabbed me like TMWSL did, though City of Madness looks promising. After the multiverse and Gotham War stuff, I'm not about to start picking up Zdarsky's Batman. #139 had plenty I should enjoy, but it's soured by Zdarsky deciding to bring a canonical take to the three Jokers concept for some ungodly reason.

A new three Jokers take feels extra stupid after a year of a story about two Jokers. And the second Joker in TMWSL isn't even taken into account in Zdarsky's story. Based off that #135 scene, it really looks like he's going to say that Darwin Halliday accidentally copied TKJ Joker somehow. lmao Why. Why do we have to do this. Why can't this just be one of the things that gets retconned away. I just want my murderclown to be fun.

I need to get back to my list of unread older comics. Or read One Operation Joker! I didn't think I was interested, but I think a random goofy premise is actually just what I need.

#the man who stopped laughing #joker #spoilers #my jibber-jabber #sorry for being a downer

[apocalypse-shuffle]

BATMAN | BATFAMILY (assorted canon)

────────────────────

────────────────────

“Long Overdue” (Bruce Wayne x Batmom!Reader)

| Reader was with Bruce in the past but grew distant after Jason’s death. No one tells her when he comes back from the dead until Bruce is forced to bring her in on an ambush when they’re overwhelmed. -Jason and Batmom!Reader reunion.

| SFW, canon typical action, cursing, past death of a child, Reader & Bruce are divorced, cursing? -angry!reader

| This is like half fanon half UTRH/Batman:Hush. I’m really just fucking around with canon rn. Also the pictures used are just for aesthetics and have no contextual meaning to the story. (pic source: Gotham Knights video game)

| 1k+ words

| parts: one, spurt, two, three, four, five, six/six point five, seven.

Okay correction. That “Red Hood guy” actually is a problem. A very big problem - or no - it’s not that Hood is the problem, it's that the situation surrounding him is problematic.

Your voice comes out so faint it’s almost melodic. “Run that by me one more time?”

“Jason’s alive,” Bruce confirms, voice barely above a whisper floating across the recycled air of the Batmobile and to your ears.

You want to grab that whisper and force it back into his mouth with everything you have. How can he even speak when you feel like the air has been sucked from your body? Your mask comes off on your next inhale.

Jason. Your Jason was alive? A fully grown adult even. Jason was alive and he was the Red Hood and Bruce had neglected to tell you until this very moment. Their last big confrontation had happened almost a whole month ago!

“So you mean to tell me that you had almost going on five weeks from the second you found out to tell me my son was alive,” you wave your hands in defeated astonishment before flowing into a shrug, “and just didn’t?”

“It was still ‘need to know’ information. The situation wasn’t yet stable enough to tell you about.”

Slowly, your head bobs up and down.

“Oh okay, yeah sure. I guess I didn’t ‘need to know’ my son was chilling back from the dead less than an hour away from me.” The laugh you let out has too much edge to be truly reassuring. “Course not. Why didn’t I think of that?”

You pose the question at a low volume, running the situation back in your mind. There was no fucking way this man was serious.

“I was going to tell you.”

“Oh really? When? In another month? Or maybe a year from now?”

“If I had to,” his voice is tight.

If he had to?

“Mhm,” your lips purse. “Stop the car-”

“Running away won’t fix anything. If you would just listen-”

Bruce’s voice gets just that much louder so he can talk over you and you respond in kind.

“Oh that’s real rich coming from you-”

“Please don’t do this right now-”

“Do what? Be mad that you lied to me-?”

“I didn’t lie to you. You didn’t even know,” you can hear the way his teeth grind. “Weren’t supposed to know today, but I was forced-”

“Is that supposed to make it better? You’re supposed to be my husband-!”

“You forfeited that a long time ago when you divorced me and issued the papers in public-!”

“Are you really still caught up on that shit? That’s what happens when you keep ignoring the family law attorney-!”

“You barely even gave me a chance after his death-” he grounds out.

“You wanna talk about chances-?”

“Y/n-”

“Stop this goddamn car, Bruce!”

Thunk

The Batmobile is forced to a stop less than half a mile from the Cave entrance.

The emergency brakes are hit hard and work instantly and you’re out of the Batmobile in the next blink, walking around to where Bruce is jumping out the driver’s side. You feel shaky, your whole foundation falling apart. Bruce wasn’t incompetent enough for this to have been a mistake, but there was no way he would be this cruel. Not to you.

You don’t give him room after his feet touch the ground, in his space in an instant. When he doesn’t move to stop you you push him into the side of the vehicle. He skids backward, back making an impact with a decisive thud. The shove sends a horrible zing of pain up your arm that just fuels you more.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

Your scream echoes in the still night air on such a vacant road, and your throat feels rubbed raw, so you know he heard you, but all he does is frown. It’s tempting to punch that frown, to dig your fist into his solar plexus until he fucking answers you, but with the suit on you know hitting him wouldn’t make him feel half as bad as you do right now.

You couldn’t - you could not - stand arguing with Bruce when he sunk himself into the Bat. It was about as useful as pounding your fists bloody on a brick wall hoping for it to magically turn into a door.

The silence continues to stretch and you can feel your resolve stretching thin.

“Usually you got an answer for everything, but not now?” Your voice comes out low and to your absolute shame your eyes start to burn. You shake your head and step away from him. “What could I possibly have done to deserve this, Bruce?”

Bruce takes in a breath and when he speaks it half sounds like he’s drowning.

“This isn’t about whether you deserved it, it was for your own good. Why can’t you just take my word for it? I needed more confirmation before you could be brought in.”

“You know I can’t accept that,” you let out a sigh. “I’m not one of your lil League friends, Bruce, I don’t think you’re fucking infallible. I know when you're not being one hundred percent with me. And you know what else? I was married to you for seven years, I can tell when you're not being honest with yourself either, so do us both a favor and rip your own head out of your ass.”

You hold your hand up when his mouth opens next, vision blurring.

“Do you know that I ask myself everyday if I was a bad mother, having two of my kids run away from me? I work to re-strengthen my relationship with Dick all the time, but I couldn’t do that with Jay. Couldn’t tell him how sorry I was for letting him die with a continent between us; that it’s the biggest regret of my life.”

Bruce shakes his head and speaks with so much conviction you want to believe him. You always do.

“You were a great mother. The boys were running away from me.”

The chuckle you give is without humor, voice getting thicker with the force of speaking past the lump in your throat.

“As much as I want that to be true, no I wasn’t. Our parenting was a two person job, Bruce, and I was almost never home. So when they had problems with you they didn’t come to me they went in search of new families. I should have been there, but you know as well as I do how this life locks its jaws and doesn’t let go till you die. But this time around it gave back what it took and you chose to keep that to yourself to -what?- to spite me?”

“You can’t believe I would keep him from you for such a trivial reason…”

A few minutes ago you wouldn’t have believed it either.

“No?” You scoff. “So why didn’t you take your briss ass and tell me then? Was I that horrible of a mother that you didn’t think I deserved a second chance too? Is that it, Bruce?”

A strangled choked out noise falls past his lips.

“Never, Y/n. I would never make a decision like this to hurt you. I didn’t tell you because you didn’t deserve to have your heart broken all over again.” He rubs his hands down the exposed half of his face. “I wanted to be sure before I said anything.”

“How much surer can the boy being right fucking in front of you be?”

“I saw Jason before this month.”

You jerk back.

“What?”

Bruce takes off the cowl and for a brief aching second you wish the two of you had been better. He looks as carved open as you feel; nerves and jagged reopened wounds that had never healed right in the first place rotted and exposed to Gotham’s starless sky.

“I saw him, but at the end of the fight when Hush was washed away, do you know who they made me think it was?”

The brimming tears finally overflow when you shake your head, heart pounding in your ears as the two of you's heavy breathing fills the vacant street.

“I was watching my son come back from the dead and then Clayface was in his place. As far as I was concerned Jason was still dead and everything was only a part of the sick game they were playing,” he blinks and his eyes are suddenly glossy, an admittance of defeat all their own. “I know you too. You can’t tell me that if I had brought you in the second I saw Jason that first time that you would’ve been alright after I had to take it back, Y/n. After I told you it was just a trick.”

“That’s not fair,” you shake your head. You glare at him, voice wet, and sniffle as you snap your hand up to rub your tears away. “You had no right to make that decision for me.”

“And yet I wanted to spare you that pain anyway.”

You stare at each other. A defeated slump to Bruce’s shoulders and his usual shuddered eyes so so open for you. If only that was enough.

Your breath stutters as you inhale. Mouth pressed into a wonky frown and throat tight and raw, you speak.

“You make it so hard to love you, you know that?”

He closes his eyes, painregretremorse flashing across his face, before going stock still. A brace for a hit that you will give no quarter to him by making physical.

You think of Jason, of him insisting on helping you with your hair during wash days, reading in the library together and conveniently leaving a pocket knife on the counter so he’d stop hoarding the ones from the kitchen, of arguing with Bruce over putting him in that damn costume, and your heart riots.

“I’m done, Bruce. I…cannot keep doing this after tonight. I thought I could trust you, but now I don’t know what to make of you after this.”

He nods at your proclamation, eyes locked onto yours. You let him have it for a few beats, watching him back. A man flayed open so many times it was inevitable he’d drag you down with him. You’d signed up for it the first time you’d said your vows, but you could never have predicted the ways it would shake you apart.

“I’m walking the rest of the way,” your hushed voice informs. He makes a sound in the affirmative, you turn and leave.

Nearly fifteen years of your life you have known, loved, and let yourself be consumed by Bruce. Five of those years you haven’t even been together; had as minimal contact as possible. Still he’s always done this to you and you to him.

Cracked yourselves open on one another.

It’s anticlimactic almost, how all you have to show for all this strife is a pounding arm and sore throat.

…TBC

NOTES: Hope you enjoyed! Comments would be appreciated if you wanted to leave one! I read all of them, I only don’t respond cause this is a side blog.

Also somewhere deep down Bruce knows that the even realer reason he didn’t tell Reader is because he was hoping to have fixed things with Jason (make him see “sense”) before giving her the happy news so they could be a family again. But you didn’t hear that from me. Additionally, I tried to make this seem like a decision Bruce would actually convince himself to make but I have no clue if I succeeded. I know I was excited when I came up with it though.

Caribbean word of the day(i.e.,the glossary): “Briss” - to be nosey or intrusive.

#bruce wayne #batman #black!batmom #black!reader #black y/n #•long overdue (the series) #bruce wayne x black!reader #bruce wayne x black!batmom!reader #divorced!batmom #Caribbean!Reader #bruce wayne x batmom #batman x black!reader #batman x batmom #bruce wayne x fem!reader #bruce wayne x reader #batman x reader #batman x fem!reader #batman angst #bruce wayne angst #batmom angst #batfamily x batmom #batmom & jason todd #batmom #batmom!reader #batman imagine #bruce wayne imagine #batfamily imagine #batfamily x black!reader #batfamily x reader #x black reader

[95-6qrsk2rx9uq42069nnnnnjthewolf]

jaytim Childhood friends beginnings of a concept

Fandom stalker/exacerbated parental neglect tim background where tim, a year into running around gotham at night photographing bats, starts splitting his nights helping this kid jay he met boost tires and a few other grifts that the guy comes up with, mostly being the lookout. They met after tim watched an interaction between a dealer and jay escalate (jay refusing to be a runner), and he intervened by dropping a brick from the fire escape he was tucked away on, giving jay an opening to bolt, and each felt compelled to check in on each other after they both get clear. Jason is equal parts impressed and disdainful of tim’s hobby, mostly because batman does about jackshit for jason’s neck of the woods but also tim’s basically getting one up on the guy and thats badass, not to mention his sneakiness is impressive. Jason’s not about to judge a kid for having to clear out of their place at night although he knows precious little about tim’s homelife despite his reassurance that its safe and stable. This is a very bold claim from a 10 year old sneaking out 2-3 times a week with similar levels of respect and consideration for adults as jason (which is to say, minimal). But tim’s useful as hell and a quick learner, jason’s pretty sure this is his first real friend since even before he was on the streets, and tim never takes his full cut and even then only on the bigger payouts (tim’s saving up for a space heater for his room and supplements the weekly grocery delivery which was developed for an 8 year old and falls a little short for a roof running 10 year old (this does not stop him from bringing one or two shelf stable things for jay each week)). They even make plans to meet at the bowery’s closest public library on some saturdays, which was already a pretty common haunt for jason but now its also hanging out with a friend and just being a kid for a few hours. This is pretty novel for them both. Its a good year.

Jason prefers not to do anything much bigger than pickpocketing without tim as backup these days but once in a blue moon tim will give him a heads up that he wont be around as much for a week or two (parents in town). And one of those weeks, well, theres the goddamn batmobile. Unattended. Those tires are gonna go for a pretty penny and he’s not gonna pass that up. Plus it’ll get a laugh out of tim. Turns out, the whole ninja paparazzi thing was kickstarted by robin and he’s a lot more game for making fun of batman than the sidekick, especially now that robin apparently fucked off to bludhaven a few months ago with a whole new name and look. Though tim still insists that batmans a good guy and if jason is ever really in trouble, he’s pointed out a few key rooftops for him to flag the bat down for help. Thats in the back of his mind when the batmobile tire heist goes very wrong and very sideways. Tim’s seen this man in action; he trusts him. Jason’s /probably/ not about to be murdered when he’s being told that he’s going somewhere safe, to a foster guardian that cares. No clue how he’s supposed to tell tim though, they only ever really had days that they expected to cross paths, no actual methods of contact.

Meanwhile, the next time Tim comes around crime alley and the place jason is squatting has visibly not been touched for a while? That’s disquieting. He’s a known entity around these parts now,  the working girls call him jay’s shadow, but nobody’s seen jason in days and the women are gently reminding him that street kids are regularly on the move, trying to find safer, better opportunities. But jason wouldn’t leave without telling tim, right? And more importantly, all his shit’s still in his place. Tim can play at being a detective all he wants, sleuthing out batman’s patrol routes, but he doesnt have the first clue for where to start figuring out what happened to jason. When a second night in a row shows no sign of him, tim decides to do what he’s been hoping he never would have to and waves batman down, lays the whole situation out with a photo of jason and everything. Mumbled lie that hes just been hoping batman would swing by eventually. Through it all batman has a weirdly bashful silence about him and by the time tim manages to wrestle his frantic babbling down, he’s being handed a phone number and the promise that jason is safe with somebody that batman trusts.

A phone call to wayne manor the next day lays it all out for tim, and well. This is great for jason! Tim, though, never ever wanted to be on batman’s radar and now his best friend is living under the man’s roof.

#batman #jason todd #tim drake #dcu #jaytim #met earlier au #dead end ideas

[laufire]

it's very funny (read: not funny) how after the new 52 reboot, dc altered two of my favourite first meetings (you know how much I care about first meetings) in a very similar war.

first you have batman incorporated vol. 2 #2, that more or less reproduced the first meeting between bruce and talia in detective comics #411 in a few flashbacks (league dude fighting it off with ra's kidnaps talia, bruce is fighting it off with him and ends up wounded and in her medical care, etc. the flashback doesn't include the very best part of the first meeting, at the end of the story, so: read 'tec #411 it's great. there's a facsimile reprint coming on march if you think you'll be into it). but then... makes it as if that meeting, and talia falling for bruce during it, was all orchestrated by ra's.

then you have red hood and the outlaws vol. 1 #0. its first sin is that it changes bruce and jason's first meeting completely: instead of occurring on the anniversary of the death of bruce's parents, involving a kid showing the gumption to steal the batmobile's tires and making bruce laugh in such a momentous anniversary... it's just batman catching jason as he tries to steal some prescription drugs (not even for his now presumed dead mother) from leslie's clinic. then it commits the BIGGEST sin of saying this was all... orchestrated by the joker, who one day saw jason and decided to manipulate his whole life (taking dad away, faking mom's death, putting him outside the clinic) to make him, somehow, become batman's sidekick.

in the first case, I don't mind it as much, if only when compared to the other. it annoys me that talia's feelings are rewritten as the result of manipulation, but a.) ra's is a mastermind type, so they're not just elevating his character for no reason, and b.) given this is the very comic that made talia a rapist, I'm gonna pick my battles. plus I only recently read 'tec #411 so as much as I love it, it's not part of my Psyche the same way batman #408 is lol.

but the second one profoundly aggravates me lmfao. first, because of just how much I love their new earth meeting!! lobdell's version focuses on what a lot of writers afterwards have tried to use to smear jason's name, aka, "he's just some juvenile delinquent". he's also made jason part of a gang, when new earth!jason clearly had very clear lines about what he was willing to do (boost what he needed to survive) and what he wasn't (becoming "a crook", joining ma gunn's gang).

and like... to be blunt, in no logical universe seeing some rando steal from a clinic would make bruce up and make him robin. it's the sequence of "shameless enough to go for the batmobile" + feisty against bruce + "ready to prevent crime on his own when it looked like batman wasn't going to" that did it. of course making any random kid robin wouldn't be logical anyway lol, and bruce's own loneliness was the deep motivating factor... but one of this versions make jason distinctive, someone who WOULD trigger bruce's baby robin fever. and the other is generic and makes me feel pretty sceptical about the whole thing.

and that's not even getting into the joker's supposed role in all this because FUCK THAT. good GOD do I hate the idea that the freaking joker is some super genius mastermind playing five dimensional chess with the bats and orchestrating events years in advance. my first story really reading joker was aditf. the guy beats robin to near death (which he manages thanks to the element surprise, deceit, and having goons help him), blows him up to hide the evidence because he's scared of what batman would do to him, then immediately admits he killed robin to taunt batman the next time he sees him. I can't ever buy him as anything other than a coward dumber than a bag of rocks that just Does Random Shit to people who can't fight back because he's a sadist, and gets away with it because unlike the people he faces, he has not an ounce of sense or morals or apprehension that could stop him. I'm not gonna lie and say I've ever enjoyed the joker as a character (I think he's trite and uninventive and his utter lack of inner life bores me), but this turn has made him completely unbearable, and his continuing survival all the more inexplicable the more dangerous he gets.

tl;dr the new 52 tried to fix a lot of shit that wasn't broken but these two examples make me want to ask for financial compensation.

#no i didn't pay a cent for reading this. still i deserve the money. #talking to the void #my thoughts #dc #dc thoughts #dc comics #anti new 52 #jason todd #talia al ghul #bruce wayne #antijoker for ts #bitter lau tag

[nightwing-bootylicious]

Batfam as shit my mother and I say on this road trip pt 4

Duke: hey look, they have these tractor tours, where they-

Dick: 🎵🎶SHE THINKS MAH TRACTORS SEXAYYYYYYY🎵🎶

-

Bruce: Dollywood is only open on the weekend, we aren't going to make it this trip-

All the bat kids: NOOOOOOOOO

-

Steph: alright squirt, we're going to have to get up a little early tomorrow to make it to the Dolly Parton Stampede, so-

Damian: it is a vacation. I will wake when I wish to.

Steph: if you get there early you get to pat the horsies.

Damian:... I will set an alarm.

-

*at the National corvette museum*

Jason:....

Jason: is that a fucking Batmobile????

-

Tim:....

Tim: sorry, what did you say? I was daydreaming about cookies.

-

Harper: how do you spell "Vietnamese"?

Jason: Vi-et-na-mese. Just how it sounds.

Harper: ...

Harper: hey siri-

-

Steph: *tries to order spaghetti in a Gotham accent*

Waitress: .... huh?

-

Tim: *texting* hey guess what

Bernard: *texting back* chicken butt?

Tim: I bought you something at the gift shop :)

Bernard: ooooh what is it

Tim: not telling :)

Bernard: asshole.

-

As opposed to-

Steph: *texting cass* hey I bought you something at the zoo gift shop

Cass: I LOVE ZOO GIFT SHOPS!!!!

-

Duke: I just wanna see how expensive a pair of cowboy boots is....

Duke: ...

Duke: oh god no.

-

Jason: I still wouldn't pay for that if it was 70% off, much less 50.

-

Alfred: there is a wait signal on the sign, we will cross when it tells us to.

Damian: the green light is for a blocked off road. No is going anywhere.

Alfred: I suppose some rules can be broken with logic...

-

Damian: *tries to take pictures of every single dog he sees so he can keep a logbook of the popular breed per area. And also to have pictures of dogs*

-

Cass: *gives nasty looks to every single person on the street who gets too close. So basically everyone.*

-

Babs: I take it your alarm didn't go off? It's 9:02 and you're still bed. You were supposed to get up an 9:00.

Steph: I hit snooze. Leave me alone. Please.

-

Dick: you're not going to... change?

Tim: what, did you think I packed nice clothes or something? There's nothing but tshirts and sweatshirts in there.

Dick: *appalled*

Part Three

#batman #bruce wayne #dick grayson #jason todd #tim drake #duke thomas #damian wayne #stephanie brown #barbara gordon #cass cain #cassandra cain #harper row #dc #dc batman #dc comics #dc incorrect quotes #batfam incorrect quotes #bernard dowd #Batfam as shit my mother and I say on this road trip

[theglidingbat]

Back with another ghostbat idea [yes I'm sadly alive]

Au where Bruce and khoa [full grown old men fighting crime i would say in there 40's] are in a secret relationship

But there the most highschool couple cliche way about it where khoa would hide in Bruce's cupboard or just get pushed off the fucking balcony by him when one of his kids unexpectedly comes home. Khoa pushing bruce off his FLYING BASE with a parachute when clownhunter is awake,there's lot of Falling off high places and making out in random Allyways

Khoa sneaking off from Bruce's window just to see Bernard coming out of Tim's, Roy stumbling out of Jason's and flatline already making a run for it from Damian's room

Bruce has the misfortune of also catching and then and coming up with the realistaion he's acting like a teenage boy trying to hide from his girlfriend's father

Khoa however refuses to belive it

It's either this or they're so good at hiding the fact that they're dating people think they hate eachother [canon, Ik cause ghostmaker told me himself]

I also think Constantine or Hal would flirt with Minhkhoa just because and Bruce would be in the background trying not to smack a bitch because no one is supposed to know they're together

Khoa's way less subtle about it, escpically when he sees clark near 10 ft of Bruce

In the end they get caught by Jim Gordon when they're making on top of the batmobile

They also got caught once but khoa just pretended bruce was a prostituite dressed as Batman-

[Bruce: out of all things why a prostituite

Khoa: it fits

Bruce: what do you mean it fits-]

Ghostbat: Hiding they're relationship since the 90's

#ghostbat #bruce wayne #minhkhoa khan #batman #ghostmaker

[suzukiblu]

may I ask if you have any fic recs handy?? dw if not

Hmmm, well, let's see, what have I read recently that I especially liked . . .

. . . oh okay yeah I got way too into this, lol. wELP, such is life!!

Eyes Like Kryptonite, by dragonez. Supercorp. Lena Luthor gets an either time or dimensionally-displaced Kryptonian on her balcony who inexplicably seems to think a Luthor can help him, and then she has to deal with that. Kara does not love this development (but definitely loves Lena) and Conner just wants to get home to his family.

I Want It That Way, by WynterSky. TimKon. I cannot even explain to you how good this fucking fic is. Just--TimKon, but make it 90's. Why are you still here? Go read it. Go read it NOW.

Catherine/Bruce Medieval AU, by iselsis and PotatoLady. Catherine/Bruce, past Catherine/Willis. What it says on the tin, and also omegaverse. I am WAY too into this fic, hah, "Bruce saves Catherine and takes in her and Jason both" is so, so small a genre but so, so GOOD a genre. [ tw: past rape ]

You and me and them. Let's be pack. Let's show the world we chose each other, by Ace_of_Hearts4444. TimKon. Tim finds out Kon is a newly-presented stray omega in an AU where being packless is a Big Fucking Problem and Young Justice has some fucking FEELINGS about that fact.

The tale of a cat who stole a diamond boy, by Ace_of_Hearts4444. TimKon. I'm not really into "Tim is Stray/Catlad" AUs, but I am VERY into this TimKon concept. Also, like yes, obviously Tim is exactly unhinged enough to do this.

in the shadows, by Kieron_ODuibhir. Batman was Bruce Wayne's imaginary friend, but now he's Dick Grayson's. I could cut a bitch for more of this concept, oh my GOD. 💔

A Hummingbird Suspended, by poisonivory. Thad/Match. Thad gets out of the Speed Force and wants to fuck shit up, but unfortunately Match is very attractive and has even more unfortunately grown some morals.

Gut Feeling, by Ao3time. Lois finds a superclone in a lab and welp he's hers now. No takebacksies.

With Violet Light, by Evilpixie. Jason Todd wants to blow up the Batmobile and ends up a Star Sapphire. There's, uh, an adjustment period.

This isn't how things are supposed to go. But we've always been unorthodox., by RenkonNairu. Superbat, TimKon. Kryptonian omegas are not the same as human ones, and human alphas are not the same as Kryptonian ones. And therefore Bruce Wayne and Tim Drake are having a fucking time of it with Clark Kent and Conner Luthor, and Lex is just doing his damnedest to ruin as much shit as he possibly can. [ tw: rape ]

Talk That Slick Talk, by thebodydies. Kenan/Kon. Kenan meets a weirdly friendly stranger who's apparently trying to pick him up. Kon is literally just wearing fucking glasses, man. Also I desperately need more of this pairing, especially in this interpretation, please and thank you. [ this is just smutty kinky smut and you should immediately go bask in it ]

( annnnnd not-DC-but-still-superheroes bonus round!! )

I wanna be that guy (the girl under you), by Stackthedeck. SpideyTorch. Peter Parker/Johnny Storm + kink = gender?? [ more kinky smut for you to go bask in!! ]

#anonymous #rinrecs #omegaverse #rape #past rape #long post #not sfw

[storm-and-starlight]

so I've been on a bit of a PandaRedd kick lately (as one does) (also hello new batfam hyperfixation, it's nice to finally be out of transformers land again), and specifically I have also been 1.) rewatching The Batman (2022) and 2.) watching his videos where he talks about that movie, and I want to talk about one of the points he brings up. Panda mentions that he'd like Batman to have the canonical solid white eyes even in live action, and that it would be totally possible for there to be a stylization choice where it happens specifically when he's fighting and you get the real eyes during all other scenes so you can get the subtle storytelling that having eyes visible makes possible, he even has the high-tech contact lenses that could switch to combat mode or whatever and go solid white during fight scenes and yes, that's a cool idea and a solid explanation and I do want Batman to get the white eyes in live action at some point, but.

The Batman is not the kind of movie where that would work. 

(minor spoilers for The Batman 2022 ahead, and also no shade meant towards PandaRedd! I love basically all his stuff and this is actually a really good idea, I just don't think it's a good idea for this movie in particular, but this is just my take.)

It's too stylized, and it's not the kind of stylization where you can get away with hiding the eyes because it's stylized towards realism. I know that doesn't make any sense; lemme explain.

Everything in that movie is shunted so heavily towards gritty realism that even if you did have a good technical explanation for the eyes going white, it would feel out of place. Like, there's all the obvious stuff -- no superpowered villains, the Riddler is an internet weirdo, Pattinson plays the exact kind of guy who'd dress up as a bat because he's just that emo -- but there are also all the bits where even the Superhero Stuff is. just. it's slammed hard towards a very specific idea of dark realism. Batman's cape functions as a wingsuit, sure, that's a decent explanation for why he has it, but even on top of that when he actually tries to use it, rather than sticking the landing he gets caught on an overpass. And that's not some mid-fight-scene break where he's supposed to come back from it, it's just the end of the scene. 

The Batmobile's introduction is of the engine powering up and the jet burner on the back igniting, and there's the big tension increase, and then... nothing. The car lurches forward, and Penguin runs, and then we get what is a fairly typical car chase scene. It only becomes the Batmobile at the very end, and that entire setup... watching it, I kind of felt like that was the moment in the movie where you're supposed to go oh shit this really is Batman, like it's pointing out that this really is a superhero movie in the first place. Compare that, to, idk, the car chases from the various Captain America movies, and it's so much more grounded, and it's deliberate about being so much more grounded, and it's doing that as a stylistic choice, to the point where it's going so far as to deliberately subvert expectations on scenes where no one in the audience would give a shit if it went a little more superhero-y with it. Batman could have stuck that landing; the Batmobile could have done more than a single rocket-powered boost, it would have been cool, people would have accepted it, and the directors didn't. (and just to be clear: I respect the hell out of that. That movie had a vision and a direction and it stuck to the fucking bit and I love it so so much for that)

Okay, but like, how does this connect to the white eyes thing? I'm getting to that, and I brought up the realism point because that applies to the fight scenes too. Batman, in this movie, doesn't fight like a superhero. Basically every other superhero fight scene I've ever seen -- even the unpowered ones -- honestly especially the unpowered ones! -- has been filmed to look as flashy as humanly possible, wild full-body throws and acrobatics and scenery changes and cinematography designed to be as dynamic and dramatic as possible, but this movie? It's filmed like a fucking brawl. Batman gets swarmed, he gets closed in on, there are no massive, visually-impressive swings, there's no innovative usage of scenery, he moves kind of stiffly like he's wearing mildly-cumbersome armor, and that's why I think the white eyes wouldn't work.

Even with a high-tech explanation based on stuff that's already in the movie, even the fight scenes emphasize so very, very strongly that Batman is just some guy in a bat suit. That's so much of the movie -- even without getting to see Bruce Wayne all that much, the fact that he's just some dude, he's got limits and fallibility, is very much emphasized. Adding in the white eyes would detract from that. The combat scenes aren't about a superhuman -- none of them are. They're about a person. It's why the big climactic scene of the movie isn't really the fight against the Riddler's followers -- that's over pretty quick, actually? or at least it felt pretty quick. The Big Climactic Ending is Batman jumping onto the sparking cable to cut it and then saving everyone in the water below. Even in such a strongly-visually-stylized movie, the white eyes wouldn't match the tone, and they especially wouldn't match during the fight scenes, because the fight scenes are deliberately going for a sense of realism.

The white eyes are a cryptid thing, and this Batman isn't a cryptid.

He's just a person.

#the batman 2022 #batman #batman meta #film analysis #the batman #battinson

[goldenraeofsun]

Prompt: Jason's Villain Era

Tim watches the Batcomputer screen, every sense on high alert for any sign of danger. According to the hacked Amusement Mile cameras, the place is swarming with goons, though, so Batman, Nightwing, and Batgirl have their work cut out for them. 

Jason, with his sprained wrist, is also relegated to backup duty in the Cave. He’s leaning against the console, a mug of tea in his good hand.

Who would’ve thought after the Titans Tower incident a year ago, they would ever make it here?

It took a solid month of Jason training to overcome the pit rage, spitting insults at Bruce and throwing furniture the whole time. But Bruce never gave up, no matter what Jason hurled at him. He modeled meditation strategies while Jason’s howled in fury, and he brought him food and pillows when the rage kept Jason from eating or sleeping.

Now, Jason swings by the Manor a couple times a week to hang out, pilfer first editions from the library, and spar with Dick.

He even has his own armchair and blanket set aside for Friday movie nights at the Manor. Jason fell asleep during The Hunger Games last week, and Dick got a great picture of him drooling on his shirt that he keeps threatening to blow up and frame every time Jason annoys him.

“Hey,” Tim says, his fingers drumming a nonsense rhythm against his leg. “D’you think you could look over my Gatsby essay? I’ve missed a bunch of classes because of,” he gestures to the Cave, “and I need to get at least a B or I’m going to fail.”

Jason’s gaze flicks to him, and Tim has to remind himself not to squirm. He raises his mug to his lips. “I’ll think about it.”

“Thank you,” Tim says gratefully. “Bruce said you used to be good at English, before – well, before.”

Jason just hums, and Tim turns back to the screen that shows Batman and the Joker in an epic fight. He toggles between ten different cameras, searching for an update on Nightwing.

Pain explodes in his right temple.

Tim tumbles out of the Batcomputer chair with the force of the blow. “What the –” 

“On second thought,” Jason says, twirling the handle of his now shattered mug on one finger, “I don’t think I’ll be helping you with your English homework, kid.” He slides a glock from the back of his belt, and the sound of the safety flicking off might as well be as loud as a gunshot in the nearly-silent Batcave.

“Jason –” Tim has no more words. Shards of porcelain bite into his palms as he scrambles back on his hands and feet, but he can’t look away from Jason’s face, cast in shadow, backlit by the Batcomputer screen. “What are you doing?”

Jason fires. Over Tim's yells of agony, he drawls, “Huh. Aren’t you supposed to be the smart one?”

Tim’s leg throbs as he staggers to his feet, his whole body shaking with more than just pain. 

Jason was better. The pit rage was gone. Tim was supposed to be safe.

This is all a misunderstanding. 

“Jason,” Tim pleads, still backing up, but he’s never going to get out of firing range in time, “this isn’t you.”

“Pretty sure this is me, kid,” Jason says casually as he stalks forward, and Tim has never seen that dead, cold expression on his face before. With the pit rage, Jason burned hot. Never cold. “In fact, I feel more like myself in months.”

Tim swallows. Jason is blocking his way back to the manor. The Batcave exit is at least fifty yards away, beyond the training mats and empty Batmobile garage area. “It’s me,” he tries instead, “Tim!”

“Now, nobody ever called me the smart one,” Jason says as he aims his gun again, “But I got enough little gray cells left to know your name, Pretender. Cuckoo.” His eyes flash. “Replacement.”

Tim’s stomach sinks. Alright, time to fight his way out, since persuasion clearly isn’t working. He readies his stance and nearly topples over again as the bullet hole in his thigh sears with pain.

“Do you know how fucking long I had to wait to get you alone?” Jason continues, looking almost amused at Tim’s attempts to recover. “Three months. A quarter of a goddamn year playing nice, playing house with Bruce and Dick. You should be flattered I went through all the effort just for you. Fuck it,” he strides forward, dodges Tim’s off-balance right hook, and smashes his fist against Tim’s temple, right where the mug hit him first.

Tim staggers, dazed. Tears spring to his eyes, and he can barely keep Jason in sight.

“So much more satisfying,” Jason says smugly. He sweeps Tim’s legs out from under him, and Tim once again falls painfully to the floor.

Jason stands over him, his expression inscrutable. “You put up even less of a fight than last time. Disappointing.” He aims his gun at Tim’s left shoulder and fires. From the white-hot fire licking up his neck, the bullet shattered his collar bone.

Tim blinks woozily up at Jason.

Wow, Dick’s gonna have to enlarge that stupid picture of Jason drooling and project it off the side of the Clocktower at this rate.

Tim passes out.

#batfam #batfam fanfic #fanfic #HURT NO COMFORT #jason todd #tim drake #rae writes fic #tim drake fanfic #violence #jason todd fanfic