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papers4me · 3 years

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Fruits Basket Manga Review ch (76 & 77)

So, I decided to read the manga mainly in search for a more natural balanced female presentation than the idealistic, shallower, savior depiction of tohru in the anime.

I’m intentionally skipping all the chapters of her as a (mother figure) in yuki’s life & won’t read them or even visit them for comparison with the anime. I love yuki’s growth story & the unique depiction of his platonic relationship with tohru, but if his mother-tohru phase was a drink, then the anime has force fed it to me till it came from my nose! So, for yuki, I’ll be reading his growth past-his mother confession.

I’ve consulted my lovely manga readers friends & thy recommended starting from ch 90 since the content in that chapter was completely cut! but some recommended checking kyoto chapters first since they contain a nice glimpse of the author’s style & artistic vision. Kyoto ep in the anime isn’t focused on “mom-tohru” so, i like the idea! I’ll jump to ch 90 right after ch 77.

- Subtle growth of a woman ( Clash of visions & presentation between the manga’s “ Loosing the wallet with mom’s photo vs the anime’s fractured photo frame):

I really love the underlined connotation of tohru loosing her “mom” unknowingly! In the anime, this scene played without any reference to kyoko & tohru’s attachment to her. We saw tohru the teenage girl confused as she experience romantic love for the first time. Nothing more than that. But the manga says “ Main female MC is way deeper than a (mom-figure) or a (girl in love), In this panel, tohru chases after kyo & unknowingly looses her famous wallet containing her mom’s picture. Here’s what this subtly indicates:

Normally, tohru would notice right away that her wallet is missing, here she never even notice until kyo suggest they hang out together. Subtly indicating that tohru is moving further & further from her phase of “ an afraid, grieving, abandoned child clinging to her mom”.

Normally, tohru would panic, say “ mom is missing” & everyone around her goes into search mode to make tohru at ease (hiro’s ep). Here once she notices, she says “ my wallet is missing” & kyo relaxed & laughingly gives her her wallet back. While he goes to bring the wallet, tohru instead of thinking “ oh nearly lost mom!” is musing over the fact that “it’s strange that kyo can make me happy or sad with one word only”. Subtly indicating that tohru is replacing her mom with kyo as part of growing up from the child she was to the woman she will be.

Tohru calling kyo “mysterious”, subtly explains that tohru is in the uncertain phase of understanding her feelings as a woman & hence, pave the path for upcoming trauma exploration & psychological depth.

The entire scene in the manga is depicted to convey different layers: romance, upcoming growth, & unexplored traumatic issues of abandonment, grief, & human weakness. “ Accepting human Weakness & change” IS the manga’s vision.

In the anime, the fractured picture worked simply becuz no issues of any traumatic experiences with tohru were ever hinted. Nothing abt tohru being a young woman moving away from a traumatic childhood was ever implied beside the weakly sharply cut & forgotten few scenes of her mysteriously going “ im okay” while remembering her dad’s shrine. Was there ever anything abt replacing her mom with kyo? Nope!. Was there anything abt tohru reluctance of loving kyo? Nope! to fix that, let’s shock the audience with empty photo frame! It’ll make the viewers confused & if we play the climax right & give tohru a tearjerker speech confronting akito, all is good. It worked in the anime as it served the purpose it was created for: shock value & drama. ppl bought it. But in the long run, it cemented tohru as the “savior angel” never the “ weak human”. But not many will have issues with that. Having yuki with his impressive story of growth & kyo with his shocking story of pain is enough to distract from the rest. The director must think: What does the audience want?

a woman who’d save the prince with her motherly care?“ Done!”.

a woman who’d love the monster? “ Done !”.

a woman who has her own deep story? no one will miss that~ skip!

-Yuki’s next stage of growth: Friends:

I like how smoother the scene played here. Yes, yuki thinks back to his gratitude to tohru, but it plays subtly & more emphasis is on his friendship with kakeru. No added scene of him waving back to tohru after kakeru which brought the focus back to mom-tohru again. No. Here is way less shoved in your throat. Yuki says how he felt in the moment, moved on to the next stage, thought abt his life & choives, moved on to school. Clear lines that makes yuki more dynamic & way less “ living in his head” character.

Side Notes:

The manga’s art is pretty but expressive! I was afraid it’ll have that weird eyes bigger than the moon & too much sparkles & bubbles like the usual old shojo manga art!

Yuki is way more expressive than the anime & less pretty & sparkly! I welcome this with flowers & songs! lol.

Tohru has “low” pigtails instead of the child-like high pigtails! YES! it is crazy that this trivial change adds so much to tohru’s presentation to the viewers’ eyes. In real life no big deal but in an artistic medium such choices send subliminal messages to viewers minds, that’s why artists spend a lot of time choosing their characters default appearance. It means a lot for the character’s overall path & sends messages. High child-like pigtails: make her look like innocent & naive child since viewers usually associate such hair do with children & toddlers. Low pigtails: are cute girly style that we associate with teenagers & young adult women, it’s practical & cute.

Kyo’s looks as youthful & handsome as the anime but less angry, annoyed & more versatile in his expression! It always bothered me that the anime just go with kyo’s default frowned face, hands in pocket looks unless he should express a key emotion. Also, kyo without an undershirt in his uniform! interesting change from the anime.

I missed kyo’s two buddies! T_T. Why they weren’t in the anime’s finale.. could’ve at least put them in the underwhelming graduation ceremony ~

I really appreciate that yuki’s fanclub are one page, less annoying.

That awkward moment when a manga panel drawn by one person can depict a crowded city more than an anime with a huge team. Like the anime didn’t even need to zoom out for a huge wide shot that showcase its weakness in depicting a crowded city. If you can’t draw that, just zoom in to lessen the effect of emptiness. kyoto isn't a deserted area especially not during a school trip!

The teachers checking on the sneaking vs sleeping students scene is a welcoming sight! XDDD

Hana met kakeru before? saw him & tohru together? weird!!

Kakeru is more focused on tohru here.

I really love the photos taken for everybody. It indicates real good time! Hana eating, yuki around girls, arisa annoyed, kyo teased with playing card: did the play “rich man poor man” again? XD

I’m starting to love yuki more in the manga than the anime!

Kyo having short inner thought abt not being able to tell tohru a girl confessed to him & deciding to say “ none of ur business” is doing wonders to the scene!!! it makes him less mean to tohru & more balanced character. I mean I guessed so in the anime, but what could've prevented making the VA say this short line of inner thought?! Yuki’s VA says essays & essays in nearly every ep abt nearly every character?!.

I liked the way kyo held tohru’s hands when he turned to her, the way he held her hand in the anime is a bit weird. lol. Also, in this scene, tender gentle kyo is so well-done both in the anime & manga. The manga wins for the zoom in & focus on emotions, tho.

Next is chapter 90!

#Fruits Basket #fruits basket manga #reading paper #manga reviwes #ch 76 #ch 77 #Anime Only

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iheartchv · 3 years

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Henlo! I saw that you do TMNT matchups and I've never had one done for me before, so I was wondering if you could do one for me and the ROTTMNT turtles? And could you please @ it to @genderfluid-plant-fixation so that I can find it? Hope it's no trouble 😅 Oh and I'm cool with sharing my name- it's Remy!

I'm Non-Binary, 5'9 and a lil chubby with broad shoulders. I've got blue eyes with short blue/green hair that's shaved on one side.

I'm a fanfic writer when my executive dysfunction allows me to actually write, but otherwise I'm often playing shooter and rpg video games. Or drawing! I like reference drawing characters.

I'd rather stick inside but if a friend asks to hang out, I always say yes as I crave friendship and am rather touch-starved (friends who love hugs are the best)

I have diagnosed depression, anxiety, PTSD and autism. I often feel like people don't get me, or that they don't care, so I often need reassurance and kind words. I don't often get them tho ^^'

I care a lot about people that I become friends with and often share a lot about myself quickly into the friendship. But I also love hearing about others, and I try my best to relate or comfort them if they need it. I try my best to be as kind as I can be, although some old bad habits from my anger issues pop by and make that difficult sometimes. If I make a mistake because of it, I try my best to fix it. My friends mean so much to me that I'm often afraid that they'll leave me out of nowhere one day..

I love learning, especially random little facts that aren't entirely helpful but are just cool to know. An example is that a type of orange butterflies are called Monarch Butterflies! I love sharing these with people, although I sometimes learn morbid ones that creep them out. Morbid jokes and puns are my sense of humour so it's hard to tell when I go too far sometimes.

I've never dated, but I think sitting out under the stars or inside a car when it's pouring down with some food would be an amazing date. It'd be so relaxing...

I could go on for awhile but I'm not sure if this is already too much, so I'll stop here. Thank you again 😊

Sure thing😄💕

🤔This is tough but I pick ... Leonardo💙

I think Leo'd have a crush on you

When you met the boys, he always tried to impress you to get your attention afterward

He became jealous when you started hanging out with Mikey, because you both have a creative mind

He liked the stories you came up with, whether by writing or drawing

He wants to be your inspiration for your stories and characters

However he can't get mad at his little cinnamon roll of a brother

Like you, he cares about his family and his close friends

He'll play video games with you whenever you want

Feeling down or depressed?

Leo will do his very best to see you smile and be happy

He'll tell you cheesy/ dad jokes

Just like what he does to his team, he'll tell you encouraging and kind words to help you feel better about yourself

After that he'll give you plenty of hugs

Making you feel better makes him feel good, too

Especially that since he's been appointed the leader of the Mad Dogz

He likes that you listen to him and try to help him in return

He loves your blue eyes

He secretly thinks you were meant to be his because they're blue, like his signature mask color

He's never been on dates, either, even though he may come off as a playboy

When you both go on a date, he gets nervous about what to talk about with you

You noticed his eyes kept looking away from you when yours met his

He didn't want this to be a bad first date

But after managing not to screw it up, he'd tell you that he 'like' likes you, and that's why he's tried so hard to get your attention whenever you spent a lot of time with Mike or his other bros

He grew on you too, and you couldn't deny the feelings you had for Leo

You told him how you felt and the smile he gave you melted your heart

Your first kiss was short but sweet

He wants to continue to go on more dates with you

Bringing you home, in total ninja secrecy, he'd blow you a kiss before leaving

You're always on his mind

(( I'd write more but it'd take forever ))

Hope you like it and got who you wanted😆😅

@genderfluid-plant-fixation

#tmnt #teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt #rise of the tmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt 2018 #ask #request #matchup #match up #leo #leonardo

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free-pool-trash · 4 years

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folklore - isaac lahey {2/?}

part two because i just couldn’t wait lmao! this chapter focuses a lot on the reader but there is some cute isaac moments in there too because i wanted there to be more to the story than just reader and isaac’s relationship <33 this part is kinda just setting stuff up tho so dw!

platonic derek x reader in this part :) and isaac ofc

please let me know what u think :)

word count: 4.4k

warnings: swearing, mentions of blood, i think that’s it???? let me know if i misses anything <3

my taglist is still pretty wishy washy for this so i’m gonna tag the people who enjoyed part one, thanks for all the lovely feedback <3

Taglist: @makeusfreefromthisfandom, @cece-lives-here, @chocolate-raspberries, @belsandthings let me know if you’d like to be added or removed <3

PART 1

PART 3

Endless thoughts plagued your mind as you wandered through the crowded halls. It barely registered with you that Derek could be home and not bother to check in, although maybe it was for the best, you were pretty sure that he was still a wanted man- for a crime you were also sure he didn't commit. You knew Derek, despite the fact that you weren't related by blood you saw each other as family, you knew how he treated his family, it was what he treasured above all else and there was absolutely no way in hell that he had burned his whole family tree to ash.

He and his uncle Peter were the only Hale's left as far as you knew, however saying that Peter was "alive" seemed like a bit of a reach. The man who used to tell you stories and sneak you candy whenever he saw you was completely immobilized now, scarred to the point of being almost unrecognizable, he couldn't talk, he could barely move, he was even being fed through a tube.

Peter was a particularly close friend of your father's, he'd always made you refer to him as 'uncle Peter' and the man did the title justice treating you like one of his own. And while you called him Uncle Peter, he- and the rest of the Hale's- always called you something different; "The littlest of the pack" though you never understood why the family had such an obsession with being known as a pack, you were more than delighted to know that they considered you part of it.

When you were old enough you started volunteering at the hospital which held Peter and after six months of hard work, sweeping hallways and helping the overworked nurses they finally bumped you up to keeping patients company. Since you were still in school you were mostly at the hospital at night and on Sunday mornings, the same time as your favourite nurse, Melissa, who always assigned you to Peter when she was manning the same ward as you. To be honest it was rough seeing him in such a state, it was as though everyone you loved seemed to struggle- the thought alone always made you choke up, made you wish you had some kind of power to take it all away, to make everything better. But you didn't, so you simply read to him, told him about what was happening in the news, stories about what was happening at school as Peter was always one for a good scoop of gossip, you even confided in him about the sharp sting you felt in your chest whenever someone you cared about was in pain, himself included. The logical thing would've been to simply stop visiting him but if you did then he'd barely have any human interaction for the rest of his life and ignoring the fact that he couldn't show it, you knew deep down that he could hear you, felt that he appreciated your visits.

Without even realizing where your feet had been carrying you, too lost in thought to notice, you found yourself nearing Isaac's locker, the boy himself hunched by it, his face hidden by the blue metal door. It was easy to forget over the weekend and after hanging out alone how shy Isaac was, he was a completely different person around you, he was loud, granted he still wasn't as loud as you but he certainly knew how to find his voice, he stood straighter as opposed to how the tall boy stood in the school hallways. To you he stood out, in a perfectly beautiful way, you often chastised him for not giving himself enough credit, always asking if he'd ever even looked in a mirror. Even with your endless compliments that made him blush every time without fail, Isaac still chose to blend in, but you didn't blame him- you blamed his asshole of a father for making him believe he was anything less than wonderful.

It was no secret that Isaac was taller than the average teen in Beacon Hills standing at six foot one, which meant he gave incredible hugs but it also meant he tried his very best to fold into himself in larger crowds and he regularly walked with his head down as to not draw attention to himself, even standing at his locker he bowed his head.

Shaking off your thoughts you walked up to your best friends side, tugging his sleeve softly to alert him of your presence before wrapping your arms around him, enveloping him in a side hug and allowing your head to rest against his arm while he wriggled it out of your grasp to wrap around your waist more comfortably, not paying his burning cheeks and racing heart any mind as he shifted his gaze from organizing his books to the girl clinging to him with a pout on her face, "What's up, buttercup?"

Nuzzling your head further into his side you let out a dramatic sigh, "I heard from Scott that Derek is back in Beacon." Isaac felt his eyebrow raising at the mention of both names, Scott's because you seemed to be hearing a lot of things from him in the last couple of days and at Derek's because he was pretty sure you hadn't seen him in years.

"How would McCall know if Derek's in town? Isn't he pretty much your cousin?" Isaac asked, thumb moving soothingly against your hip as you melted into him, shoulders slumping sadly and your pout only becoming more prominent. His voice sounded slightly aggravated at the mention of Scott but you thought nothing of it, thankfully. Isaac didn't want this to turn into a conversation about his petty jealousy.

"Forget cousin he was more like my big brother. That's what's got me so twisted! Why would he come home and not even bother to check in?" You murmured grumpily against the fabric of the flannel Isaac was sporting instead of his usual cardigan, which reminded you that he couldn't have worn his usual cardigan because you'd forgotten to give it back to him the night before and sported it yourself. The comfy grey material hugging your shoulders as you hugged the boy that the item of clothing actually belonged to.

"When did McCall say he saw him?" Isaac inquired, sorting his books with one hand.

"Yesterday."

"Alright well that wasn't too long ago maybe he's planning on checking in today?" He suggested, finishing up at his locker and throwing his bag over his shoulder, dropping his hand from your hip and sliding it into yours, interlocking your fingers and giving you a comforting squeeze before he began leading you towards the school's double doors, the last class of the day having already ended.

Letting out another sigh you only nodded, swinging your interlocked hands between you as you walked towards the exit.

"I promised my dad I'd finish a plot at the cemetery so he'd let me come over tonight so I'm gonna be a little bit late." Isaac broke the silence, looking at you with an expression that was mixed with disappointment and exhaustion, "That's okay." You offered, squeezing his hand as he'd done yours earlier.

"Do you want a ride home?" You asked him, nodding your head toward your beat up, second hand car that the pair of you had already made several memories in since you got it almost a year ago for your sixteenth birthday.

The brown haired boy only shook his head, giving you a soft smile and nodding towards the bike racks, "Nah, I brought my bike today."

Nodding in understanding, you leaned up and pecked his cheek while you let go of his hand, "Alright. Since you're gonna be late I'll pick up the movie for tonight myself. You just meet me at my place whenever you're ready, Kay?"

"Yes, ma'am." Letting out a soft laugh he watched you walk to your car, already missing your warmth beside him.

The first thing you noticed upon pulling into your driveway was the slick black car that was parked beside your mother's blue one, in your usual spot. The car was new and you didn't recognize it, you quirked an eyebrow, putting your car in park behind your mother's, grabbed your school bag from the passenger seat and got out with a slam of the door.

As you entered the house you were met with the sound of voices floating from the kitchen, picking up on the hushed conversation as you made your way towards the three voices, "You need to tell her." One said, a man. "It's too soon." Another sounded, you recognized the voice to belong to your father. "No, he's right, if what he says is true she's going to get caught up in it either way. Especially now the Argent's are in town." That was your mother. Your eyebrows furrowed, you could only assume that the 'she' they were talking about was you but what you didn't understand was what exactly they were debating telling you and why it had anything to do with the Argent's, were they talking about the Allison girl who had just joined your class?

You pushed open the kitchen door, eyebrows knitted tightly together, your brain taking a second to catch up with who your eyes were seeing, "Derek."

The name left your lips in barely a whisper when your eyes landed on the dark haired man leaning against your kitchen counter with a small smile playing on his lips as he greeted you, "Hey, kid."

Without wasting anymore time you launched yourself forward, arms wrapping around Derek's middle as he let out a sigh, his own arms moving around you slowly to reciprocate your action with a tight squeeze.

"I missed you!" You exclaimed punching the older man in the shoulder once you detached from the hug, expression turning accusing after a moment prompting Derek to purse his lips and brace himself, he knew that look, he hadn't seen it in a while but he knew it. That was your "I've got a bone to pick with you" look, Derek had to fight off the smile that threatened to grow on his lips when he realized that this particular look hadn't changed since you were five years old.

"Do you want to tell me why Scott McCall got to see you before I did?" The man under fire let out a defeated sigh, "If it makes you feel any better I would've rathered it be you that I bumped into." He responded halfheartedly, letting out a huff you turned towards your parents who were sat at the dining table.

"What were you guys talking about before I came in?" You questioned, feeling nervous as the three adults suddenly went rigid, glancing between each other before Derek nodded his head in your father's direction, silently encouraging him to tell you what they'd been discussing earlier.

Letting out a heavy exhale through his nose your father motioned for you to sit down in the chairs across from him, Derek moving to sit beside your father in front of you as you did. "This is going to be hard to believe but I need you to keep an open mind while we explain, alright?" You only managed a nod of your head, nerves ever-growing as you waited for someone to elaborate on whatever they were about to tell you.

"You've heard of werewolves haven't you?"

"Sure." You responded confused, the question seemed out of place in what you assumed was to be a serious conversation.

"Well they're real." Your father responded. You couldn't stop the snort that left your mouth, breaking out into a fit of giggles before you noticed the three adults before you looking at you with absolutely no trace of amusement. "Wait you're serious?!" Your eyes almost bugged out of your head as Derek's eyes flashed blue and he bared his teeth in response to your exclamation.

"...So the howling Scott said he heard in the woods?" You trailed off, eyes wide as Derek nodded his head, "it was a werewolf."

"You?"

"No. An alpha."

Eyes never leaving Derek, you posed another question, "Is this why you're family called themselves a pack?"

The man nodded, not being able to get a word in edgewise while you continued to fire out question after question, "You guys always said I was the littlest of the pack does that mean-" Your mother cut you off with a light chuckle, "No babe, you're not a werewolf." A sigh of relief left you when you slumped back against the kitchen chair, a small twinge of disappointment flooding through you, that would've been cool.

"You may not be a wolf genetically but you're still a member of our pack." Derek assured you, sensing your disappointment. "Are they in the pack too?" You inquired, glancing quickly at your parents before returning your gaze to Derek.

"No. Just you." You couldn't lie and say the statement didn't make you feel special but still, it confused you, "Why not?"

It was your mother's turn to speak now, giving the werewolf a break from your constant curiosity.

"Back before the fire your dad and I had a certain role to play in Beacon Hills," she started, reaching for your hand before she continued, "from the minute you were born you bonded with almost everyone in the Hale house, we didn't understand it completely but we assumed it was because of how close me and your dad were to them. I guess they kind of saw you as their newest cub after Cora." Derek chuckled, chiming in with a quiet, "More like runt of the little." Giving him a glare you kicked his shin under the table while he laughed and you nodded for your mother to keep going.

"Anyway, as you already know me and your dad met in college- studying Mythology. We uncovered supernatural occurrence after supernatural occurrence and those supernatural occurrences eventually led us here, to the Hale's." She told you, looking to your father for him to continue, he cleared his throat before speaking, "We got caught up in it, built a huge repertoire of supernatural entities, including werewolves, I met Peter and we made a truce, ended up becoming best friends in the process."

Nodding your head slowly you spoke up again, "So you guys were like… their supernatural encyclopedia?"

"Pretty much." Derek answered.

"Okayyyy… but that still doesn't answer my question, why am I in the pack and not you guys?" You posed the question to your father who looked at your mother nervously.

"When you were four things got messy, really messy," Derek scoffed, rolling his eyes muttering "understatement of the century" under his breath as your father went on, "Your mother got captured by hunters, Chris Argent and his little gang of merry men." He tensed his jaw, saying the name through clenched teeth before composing himself, "So your uncle Peter made the executive decision to initiate you into the pack to make absolutely sure that nobody would get their hands on you."

"Why?" The three of them erupted into laughs at the look on your face, Derek opting to answer the question, "I don't know how you did it but you had him completely wrapped around your finger. Peter is the most selfish person I've ever met but he would've sooner died himself than let anyone touch a hair on your head. As part of a pack members protect each other at all costs. With you officially a member it meant that we were bonded to you, you were one of us." The mention of Peter made you smile, not that you'd admit it to Derek but you felt the newly exposed pack bond strongest with Peter, the dots only connecting in your head now years later. Derek picking up on your train of thought spoke up, "That's why you can't bring yourself to stop visiting him."

Your mother's voice cut in again, "Those four crescent scars on the back of your neck are from Peter, it's how he marked you as a member without actually turning you." She explained, your hand absentmindedly rubbed the nape of your neck, fingers tracing deftly over the scars that you often forgot about.

"I know it's a lot to digest but there's one more thing." Derek sighed, a slight feeling of guilt growing within him for having to dump this on you all at once. When you didn't say anything, only looked at him he continued, "The hunters who kidnapped your mother, well they're back."

Anxiety bubbled up in your stomach as you whipped your head to your mom, "Are they gonna try take her again?" Your voice was bordering on sounding manic, Derek's voice quelling your worried before you had a panic attack.

"No. I don't think so at least. It's me and the alpha they're after, and- I trust you not to tell anyone this- your friend Scott too." Your eyes widened yet again, Scott was a werewolf? That must have been why he was seeking Derek out earlier today, "That's why he was looking for you isn't it?" You voiced your thoughts, Derek rose an eyebrow in response, "Looking for me?" You nodded enthusiastically, "Yeah, today in school, he and Stilinski started asking me a bunch of questions about why you were here- I told them I'd help them find you." You clarified, trying not to laugh at the exhausted look that came over Derek's face when the name Stilinski fell from your lips.

"Tell him to meet me in the woods later. I need him to help find the alpha." Derek instructed, watching contently as you pulled your phone out of your pocket and began texting Scott, thankful you'd gotten his number.

You: I'm with Derek

You: He wanted me to tell you to meet him in the woods later

Scott: When is later?

"When is later?" You voiced, not looking up from your phone, "After dark." Derek answered and you laughed, "Alright, Bruce Wayne."

You: He says "after dark"

Scott: :/ cryptic much

You: Best I could do wolfie

Scott: He told you??????

You: Yep, I'll fill you in tomorrow there's a lot to unpack here…

Scott: Please don't tell anybody

You: Your secret is safe with me don't worry

With that you set your phone down in front of you, before something crossed your mind, "Wait you said Argent earlier right?" Derek nodded, your mother and father having moved from the table, preparing food in the kitchen.

"Allison Argent just started at my school, I'm pretty sure Scott has a crush on her actually." You informed, shrugging your shoulders lightly, picking up your phone when it buzzed and missing the way Derek rolls his eyes.

Isaac: I'll be over at 7 <3

You: Great what movie do you want me to get?

Isaac: Ladies choice ;)

You: Hope you like Legally Blonde xoxoxo

Isaac: Seriously again?

You: You said my choice no take backs, love you <3333333

The time was 5:45pm and the sky had turned from blue to black, you assumed Derek would be heading off to stress Scott out soon enough so you stood from the table and grabbed your jacket, "I'm gonna go rent a DVD for me and Isaac, you guys need anything?" You directed towards your parents who were messing around in the kitchen like teenagers causing you to roll your eyes but smile.

"Huh? No we're okay. When is lover boy coming?" Your father asked, wiggling his eyebrows at you, laughing at how you groaned, "Stop calling my best friend 'loverboy' one of these days you're gonna slip up and call him that to his face and he'll literally die of embarrassment on the spot!" You yelled, cheeks burning and expecting your mother to come to your defense only to have her laugh along with your father, "Yeah, don't talk about your future son in law like that."

"God, you two are the worst. Derek tell them to stop harassing my friendships." The dark haired man rose an eyebrow from his seat, a strict look on his face, "She's too young for a boyfriend."

"Thanks, Derek. That was absolutely not helpful at all, but thank you." You muttered, grabbing your car keys and heading out the door.

You loved your parents, adored them, they raised you incredibly- that didn't mean they didn't annoy the hell out of you sometimes, though. They had about fifty names that they liked to call Isaac instead of his actual name, the most popular being "loverboy", "heart eyes", or your mother's personal favorite "future son in law." You supposed it was good that they liked him enough to consider him a future son in law, however, it was pretty insensitive when they could clearly see that you were painfully in love with him and fighting with inner turmoil because of it.

After a five minute drive you pulled up to the video store, stepping out and noticing Lydia Martin in the car next to you, you made brief eye contact with the strawberry blonde and the pair of you exchanged friendly smiles before you entered the store. Lydia was nice but you noticed she wore a facade around school, more specifically around Jackson. You remembered quite vividly how she shot Isaac down rather brutally back in freshman year. He'd only asked her out to prove a point to you, you couldn't remember what now but you'd gotten in some form of argument and the resolution you'd come to was that he prove himself and ask someone out, that someone happened to be Lydia. He didn't really like her but the whole debacle did significantly bruise his ego.

Of course, wherever Lydia Martin is Jackson Whittemore was never far away. You almost laughed when the first thing you heard after walking into the store was the jock shouting about not being able to find "The Notebook".

"It's over there." You chimed in, alerting him of your presence and pointing straight ahead of him towards the movie he was searching for.

Nodding thankfully the blonde made his way toward the far shelf while you walked to the other side of the store.

Despite being across the room, Jackson's gasp sounded clearly making you nearly jump out of your skin. Placing a hand on your rapidly beating heart you just shook your head and let out a long breath. You were probably just hearing things, your mind concocting noises to psych you out after learning the new information about the supernatural, Jackson's gasp had absolutely nothing to do with the snarls you thought you were hearing from behind you.

You had yourself convinced you were just hearing things. That was until the snarls became mingled with hot, slobbery breaths that hit the nape of your neck, shocking you into spinning yourself around. You couldn't help the yelp of fear that left your lips when your eyes met beaming red orbs… the eyes- they weren't human.

What you were looking at you could only describe as a beast. A wolf. The ability you usually possessed to control your breathing left you as you heaved, continuing to stumble back as the creature took steps forward until your back hit a row of shelves painfully. DVDs crashing to the floor in your wake.

The creature was face to face with you now, snout coming in contact with your nose as it's demonic eyes bored into your soul. It snarled as you felt your heart rate increase, it was going so fast you were half scared it would detach from it's blood vessels. Everything about the creature scared you, from its eyes, to it's snarl, to its fangs baring in your face, but what frightened you the most was that you felt like you knew it. There was a familiarity with it and you could not for the life of you explain it but you could feel it.

The scream that left you when the beast finally lunged for you with snapping jaws shook the store as the wolf sunk its teeth into the soft tissue of where your shoulder connects to your neck. The pain you felt was as blinding as the eyes that stared at you, the beast raised it's hair covered paw in the air, fully intent of swiping the last remnants of life from your now limp form before it suddenly stopped, looking at you with so much uncertainty. Not getting a chance to analyze the new look on the things hairy face the creature resumed its position on all fours then crashed out of the store window.

"(L/n)?!" Jackson whisper shouted, from around the corner, only seeing your legs peeking out from behind a row of shelves as he made his way over to you, his movements jittery. You tried to call out but your voice failed you, you kicked your legs out weakly to let him know where you were, not knowing he was already rushing towards you.

"Christ… ok just stay awake I'm calling the police right now." The blond, who you'd never known to care for anything other than himself, spoke frantically- shaking as he pulled out his phone.

Your hearing faded in and out as Jackson shouted at law enforcement over the phone. Tilting your head to the side, very painfully, you began to panic once you noticed the gaping bite that had been taken out of your neck, you whimpered pathetically at the sight of your entire shoulder, neck and hair drenched in blood, your blood. Your panic seemed to rub off on Jackson as he noticed your breath becoming heavier and heavier by the second, tears falling down your face as you stared at your injury in fear.

It was just then that sirens wailed from outside, this eased Jackson's nerves, the boy, you had to hand it to him, didn't leave your side until you were safely in an ambulance- your nerves however were still fried, panic growing by the second as strangers fretted around you, yelling orders at each other and pushing painfully against your wounds. Calm didn't settle over you until one of the medics injected you with a needle, you didn't have a clue what was in it and you didn't have time to theorize as your world turned black.

#isaac lahey x reader #isaac lahey imagine #teen wolf x reader #isaac lahey

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nerdyfangirl67 · 4 years

Text

Requests Masterlist

NCIS -

Gibbs:

Studying You

(Female reader) “Could you please write an imagine where reader is Gibbs’s best friend from childhood, knew his mom, was there for him when she killed her self but au where there’s no Shannon and kelly and they get married and reader names their daughter Ann after Gibbs’s mom”

My Mark

(Gender-neutral reader) “If requests are in fact still open, could you pretty please do something about the reader giving Gibbs’ hickeys just to mess with him?”

Please Don’t Leave

(Gibbs x little girl (fatherly relationship), very slight reference to a McGee x fem!reader relationship) Gibbs discovers a little girl at a crime scene who is deaf, and upon learning more of her backstory, he begins to bond with her. The guardians she was staying with were killed in a break and enter, both her actual parents were killed while deployed.

I Won’t Leave

(Gibbs x little girl (fatherly relationship), McGee x fem!reader relationship, Mother!reader) This is a continuation of the storyline from the fic Please Don’t Leave, with a time skip.

Forget About Me

McGee x fem!reader/mom!reader, Gibbs x reader (platonic/fatherly relationship) “I was thinking that McGee and reader find out their expecting a baby, and Anastasia finds out and runs away, because she’s scared that Tim and reader won’t want her anymore, and Anastasia gets lost and is all alone, and Tim is in full panic mode, and Gibbs won’t rest until he finds Anastasia, and Gibbs finds her, but she refuses to go home, and clings to Gibbs”

Rare Jewel

(Female reader) “Can I please request a Gibbs x plus size reader? Maybe they have to go undercover to a gala or smth together and the reader walks out in this figure hugging dress feeling and looking FLY AS F**K and Gibbs is like hot damn. You get where I’m going?”

I’m Here

(Female reader) Request using the prompt - “Don’t be scared. I’m right here.”

What Family is For

(Female reader) “Could you do a Gibbs x Reader were the female reader gets beaten up by a group of boys (broken ribs, bruises, blood…) and just manages to stumble into Gibbs’ house were he will take care of her? A little kind of father-daughter relationsship but workwise. Just him getting very protective, comforting her and patching and cleaning her.”

The Peace Out Here

(Female reader)

“Hey you! I really liked your Tony x Reader one were he comforts her bc she found out she’s pregnant from rape? I was wondering how Gibbs would react to the same?”

McGee:

With a Little Help From the Team

(Female reader) “Hello! I saw your post from this morning saying you didn’t have any requests for ncis at the moment and I wanted to make a request. If for some reason you don’t want to write it that’s okay but here’s my prompt,(Idk what to call it) The reader and McGee have been dating for years and McGee has to tell the whole team (Tony, McGee, Bishop, Gibbs. That team please!) including her dad (Gibbs, cause why not?) when he wants to propose. You can decide on if they say yes or no but I hope you’ll write it. Sorry if I’m overwhelming you I just wanted to make a request”

NCIS team:

Helping Hands

(Gender-neutral reader) “Could you do a one shot with NCIS where reader has a panic attack and the team comforts the reader and they validate the reader’s emotions? I just really need something like that”

CRIMINAL MINDS -

Aaron Hotchner:

Dream Come True

(Female reader) “Hi sweetie!! I saw that you’re taking requests for reader inserts? I could I request one of either Hotch or Morgan where they have a dream about having a daughter with the reader. (The reader and him aren’t dating or seeing each other at all) but he really wants this dream to come true. Thank you in advance!”

In Your Corner

(Female reader) “can you make an aaron x fem reader where reader has an e.d?”

Spencer Reid:

The Way She Walks

(Female reader) “Can you write something for Spencer (or whoever) where you are Hotch’s assistant. One day you are bringing Hotch coffee and Reid is staring at you and Derek tells Reid not to stare cause it will freak you out. Thank you so much!!!”

The Way She Loves

(Female reader - sequel to The Way She Walks) “Helloo😌😌 could you do a follow up to “the way she walks”? I loved it😩💗”

PHANTOM OF THE OPERA -

Phantom:

The Raging Fire Within

(Female reader) “Hi! Could you write a modern au fic with Erik Destler where they’re in a relationship but hes still an awkward muffin and decides hes not having it any longer and tries to flirt with her using (sexual) innuendos but hes still a muffin and she loves it? Thank you so much!!!! (I hope it makes sense)”

An Angel to Me

(Gender-neutral reader) “Erik’s s/o being an artist who loves to draw him but does it in secret in fear of upsetting him but Erik finds one specific drawing. The drawing is a charcoal drawing of him with angel wings (shirtless or not, either one works) and the drawing is of how his s/o sees him. In the drawing he’s radiating like an angel and he’s beautiful despite his scars and that’s when he realizes how much his s/o loves him and that he is worthy of her love (or something like that) and he starts crying. When his s/o comes back, she find him curled up in a corner crying clutching the drawing to him. When he sees her, he tells her how much he loves her and needs her (even tho she already knows) and they end up going through all her drawings of him together”

When You Are Hurting

(Female reader) “hi love! ❤️ i was wondering if i could request an erik x reader? just a hurt/comfort with some soft Erik, maybe set in poto?? maybe one where the reader is having a tough day?? please take your time!!! i know you’ve got a busy schedule :)”

A Modern Lady

(Female reader) “Hello! Can I please request a fic or HCs where erik is in a relationship with the reader but shes really modern and vulgar for someone living in the 19th century and keeps making him blush? But he really loves it?“

Together

(Female reader) “Can I make a Phantom x reader where the reader is the phantom’s wife or somethin’ and the Phantom wakes up from a bad nightmare but she is there to comfort him”

Dark Until I Met You

(Female reader) “Hello, I just want to say first of all that I adore your writing! I haven’t been able to find a story with this particular idea, so I thought I’d make a request. It’s completely your choice whether you want to write a fic of headcanons, but what do you think Erik’s relationship with a blind reader would be like?”

Just a Touch

(Female reader) “Hello! This is my first time requesting, so I’m not quite sure how things work. I was wondering if I could get a Phantom of the Opera x female reader, where he’s touch-starved and they’re just cuddling together. Thank you!”

So Much More

(Female Reader)

Prompt - “You didn’t deserve that…you deserved so much better.”

Promise I Make to You

(Gender neutral reader)

“As I've myself struggled with sh (I am 1 month clean, lemme just flex a lil bit) I've just had this scenario in my head where Erik in a way or another sees the readers sh scars/cuts for the first time and it's just pure fluff with a hint of angst. Also this is my first request ever, I've just fallen in love with the way you portray our not so local (unless u live in france) sewer man. Um ye <3 I shall go to sleep now”

Dancing in the Rain

(Gender neutral reader)

“Can u do poto Erik x reader with a reader who loves walking in the rain, even tho they get absolutely soaked Bc they don’t use an umbrella… so their hair is just absolutely drenched but reader doesn’t give a damn”

One Love, One Lifetime

(Gender neutral reader)

“Could I get a phantom of the opera x reader where the reader is the soulmate of his. The reader has a line of one of his songs. Maybe music of the night? The 2004 version of phantom of the opera. Do you do smut? If not that's fine. It can be fluff too.”

Meg Giry x Phantom:

Leading Woman

(Meg Giry x Phantom) Meg being willing to do whatever the Phantom suggests, even though his attention is on Christine. Finally, Meg has had enough and decided to meet the Phantom on his turf. Although he is upset at the disrespect and blatant neglect of his privacy, he is impressed by her lack of fear towards him and her gumption. Meg makes a case for herself, and the Phantom finally sees Meg for who she is, a leading woman.

Christine Daae:

You Can

(Female reader implied but could be read as gender neutral) Prompt - “I know you can.”

SUPERNATURAL -

Winchester Brothers:

It’s in the Eyes

(Winchester brothers x gn!reader) “… At the moment I’m sort of dating a guy who was broken up with fairly recently and he’s not sure of his feelings (I think he’s really just scared to open up again). Anyway I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind could you write a happy ending/fluff for us with one of the criminal minds/spn guys?”

Dean Winchester:

Something Good

(Gender neutral reader) “Something Good” from the musical The Sound of Music as inspiration for the fic

Care for You

(Female reader) “Hello !!! Can I have Dean Winchester x reader? Reader has been so caught up in her work that they forget to eat. They get extremely lightheaded and stumble a little. Dean steadies them and he is worried when he finds out they forgot to eat. While he is making food they faint and land (luckily) on the couch. When he’s done, he comes back,at first he thinks that they’re just laying down but he kinda freaks out when he realizes that reader is unconscious. ( I forget to eat sometimes) THANK YOU🥺💚”

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kutemouse · 4 years

Text

Caught (Prologue)

Disclaimers: All “Save Me” webtoon and BTS MV/highlight reel/film references and plots belong to BTS and BigHit. Not sure who edited it or made it, but the “I’m Fine/Save Me” ambigram pic I used came from here. All pictures of Kim Taehyung belong to BTS and BigHit, I just edited them for my header. The picture of BTS came from Vogue Japan, I just edited it for my header. I got the Kim Taehyung Wings Film Gif from DannyBriz on Wattpad.

A Note from Kutemouse: Awwww, thank you for reading my stuff, @chocolatewolfuniversitytrash!

So, this sweet little mini series is inspired by several things… The movie 365 DNI, the Save Me webtoon, the BTS MV universe, and ideas I’ve come up with waaaaaay too late at night 😂 Honestly, I’m OBSESSED with the whole MV/highlight reel/wings films arc that started with The Most Beautiful Moment in Life Pt. 1, and I’ve ALWAYS wanted to write a story inspired by it. So, kutie pie @chocolatewolfuniversitytrash, thank you for allowing this dream to come to light.

About the non-con request, I was all like, “EEEERRRRRRMMMMMMMM idk,” because I’ve never written non-con and therefore don’t… know… if I’m comfortable with it…? I will attempt to do my best. Either way, I hope you like what has come out of my brain 😅

Also, thank you to @btssmutheaven for revealing my drafts (NOT REALLY, ILY) to @taemaknae for reading my shit and loving it, and to @kpopyandere for being the best unnie account and helping me realize I can write all the yandere ideas I want.

Age Recommendation: 21+ (this is NOT one for youngsters, kuties, and is MOST DEFINITELY NSFW)

Genre: Mafia!AU w/ BTS, Jailbird!AU w/ Taehyung, Yandere!BTS

Warnings: ALL THE WARNINGS. Just kidding, uh… Swears. There are minors in this section but they do NOT do anything sexual. I ain’t about that kinda life, y’all. F*ckboy Taehyung. Fluffy friendship. Angsty jealousy. Mentions of drug use and alcohol consumption (NOT by minors tho). Yandere themes including unhealthy obsession and possessiveness. Making out. No smut in this part, but it’s heavy af.

🚨TRIGGER WARNING. DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVE ISSUES WITH THE FOLLOWING.🚨

Mentions of abusive relationships, mentions of a parent abusing their child, mentions of sexual abuse, mentions of schoolyard bullying, mentions of a violent murder.

These are not fleshed out or detailed scenarios. When I say “mention,” I mean briefly discussed after it happened, not during, and definitely not in any detail whatsoever. You DO NOT have to read my work. You decide what you are comfortable with. All I want is for you kuties to be happy.

Word Count: 6.1k (WTF is this even allowed?!)

Summary: Kim Taehyung was the absolute love of your life… until he became a murderer. With him serving a life sentence in prison, you were finally free to live out the rest of your life however you wanted. Just when you thought you were at the top of your game, ready to take on the world, Taehyung reappears like a monster not even your worst nightmares could dream up. He gives you a year to fall in love with him, but now the question is, can monsters even be loved?

Master List

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

Caught (Taehyung Series, Yandere, Smut, Angst) Prologue

I remember the first time I saw Kim Taehyung. We were both fifteen, just starting out in high school. Back then, I remember the way he lazily leaned against a locker with his arms crossed, seemingly waiting for someone. His hair was bleached a ridiculous bright blonde on the top and left brunette everywhere else. He had on dramatic, black eyeliner that served to accentuate his inky eyes, and he wore a studded leather jacket with his shirt and tie rather than the traditional uniform. Intrigued, I opened my locker and picked out my books for my next class, watching him out of the corner of my eye.

I saw him zero in on his target and take brisk, wide strides towards her as she twirled the combo to her locker. She looked up at him with wide, innocent eyes as he caged her in by leaning down to whisper something in her ear. Suddenly, the hallway was filled with flirtatious giggles and I turned away, rolling my eyes. So he was one of those assholes.

I watched him do this with every single girl in our class. I swear, he had his routine down to a science. Chat her up, openly flirt, flirt some more until she caved in to whatever he desired, then drop her like a hot frying pan. It took a couple months for his interest to finally land on me.

“Hey.”

I didn’t bother to look up as I twirled the combination to my locker and popped it open.

“Hey,” he said louder.

I flicked a glance his way. “Do you need something?”

His eyes narrowed. “Do I look like I need anything?”

I huffed out a sigh. “What do you want, Kim Taehyung?”

He let out a snort, leaning against the locker next to mine the same way he’d done a thousand times with a thousand other girls. “So you know my name, but I don’t know yours. You’re new, right?”

“I transferred in at the beginning of the year,” I said impatiently. “And we’re in the same class, so you should know who I am.”

Taehyung’s lips curled up into a playful smirk. “Really? No, that can’t be right. I definitely would’ve remembered you.”

I rolled my eyes and slammed my locker shut, walking quickly away. Taehyung jogged to keep up. “Just tell me your name,” he insisted.

“Why?”

“C’mon, I’m just trying to make friends.”

I whirled around, stopping both of us in our tracks. “Friends? Is that what you’ve been doing with every other girl here? Just making friends?”

Taehyung smirked once more and took a step towards me. I don’t know why, but I took a step back. I should’ve held my ground, should’ve told him to fuck off right then and there. Instead, I let him back me up against the wall and entrap me within his darkened gaze, the same way he would for the next three years of our lives.

He leaned down to whisper in my ear, his breath tickling the skin of my cheek. “We can be more than friends… but first, you have to tell me your name.”

I shoved him off me and practically sprinted down the hall, cheeks aflame with embarrassment. My peers and classmates who saw the exchange teased me for weeks afterward, no matter how much I kept my head down and avoided Taehyung like my life depended on it. It wasn’t until I heard him telling off some of the more tenacious gossipers I decided to give him another chance.

I tapped him on his shoulder as he stood in front of his locker. His eyes widened when he turned to see me standing there. “I’m L/n Y/n,” I said meekly. “And I wanted to thank you for what you said to those people.”

“You heard that?” he asked, the skin of his neck flushing pink.

I nodded.

“You’re welcome,” he said, tossing me a boxy grin.

That day, a seed was planted that eventually grew into a steady, beautiful friendship. A year later, I had come out of my shell quite a bit thanks to Taehyung, and I had a solid group of mates that I adored and relied on. Tae was my best friend, and I was his. Of course, we still got teased quite a bit about being a couple, but I figured we were both long past that.

Taehyung matured alongside our friendship. He stopped wearing thick eyeliner and sporting ridiculous hair colors, instead opting for a softer, more natural look with caramel brown locks and the unblemished glow of his slightly-tan skin. Gone were his dramatic, attention-seeking ways. His voice also deepened, dropping almost an entire octave. Yet despite all of his changes, he still stayed an absolute fuck-boy, shagging a new girl every other week. I came to realize it was all part of his personality, though, and I loved him no matter what.

The summer before our senior year was when I realized that love ran way deeper than friendship. We were at my best girlfriend Chaeyoung’s house when Taehyung stumbled in with yet another girl, his hair freshly dyed a bright cerulean blue. “Hey everyone!” he called out, slinging his arm around the girl’s shoulders. My smile faded as I looked over and noticed she was beyond gorgeous, with waist-length black locks that seemed to flow down the perfect curve of her back. I shuddered as a green monster reared its ugly head deep within me.

Taehyung was with that girl for a few months, which by his standards, was practically a lifetime. The entire time they were together, I felt like I was standing on the edge of a cliff about to swan-dive into devastating heartbreak. Each time I saw him kiss her, each time I saw him smile at her, each time I saw him lean over and whisper something in her ear, a piece of my soul shriveled up and died. I did my best to put my feelings aside, knowing I already had my chance and he would probably never look at me that way again. Even after they broke up, I kept my love for him tamped down and tucked away deep in the recesses of my heart, scared of ruining our friendship.

His break-up only served to draw us closer together, and slowly, without me realizing it, our friendship began to bloom into something more. Taehyung and I started to tell each other everything, including the messed-up secrets our home lives made us keep. One day, we were sitting in an empty classroom after school. I was trying to study, but kept getting distracted by Tae staring longingly out the window. “What’re you looking at?” I finally asked, putting my pencil down.

“Nothing,” he said simply. “Just thinking.”

“About what?”

“About when we’ll finally get out of here.”

I smiled, my heart thumping a little faster. “We?”

He turned and tossed me his signature boxy grin. “Yeah. We. We’ll make it out of here someday, Y/n. I’ll get away from my bastard of a dad, you’ll get away from your selfish mother, and we’ll have a house in the country with big, open fields and plenty of space to finally fucking breathe.”

I smiled and stored those words away, using them to comfort myself whenever my mother and her asshole of a boyfriend wouldn’t stop yelling at each other, or worse, when they’d pass out on the couch, too drunk or high to stay coherent.

One night around three in the morning, my phone began to buzz and didn’t stop until I finally popped an eye open, fumbled around for it in the dark, and pressed it to my ear. “Hello?” I mumbled.

“H-Hey.”

I sat up. “Taehyung?”

“Y/n, I n-need your help,” he said shakily. It sounded like he was… crying?

I immediately got out of bed and pulled some jeans on. “Tae, it’s okay,” I said soothingly, trying to hide the panic I was feeling. I knew Taehyung’s home life was extremely hard. In fact, most of our home lives were terrible. The only two in our friend group who even came close to “privileged” were Chaeyoung and Jin, and that was because their parents had more money, not less problems.

I myself had plenty of issues. The reason my mother and I moved here when I was fifteen was to escape her abusive boyfriend, and even then, we still lived in constant fear of him finding us again. I guess that fear drove her into the arms of the first strong-looking man who looked twice at her, because her new boyfriend, Manseok, seemed to fit the same abusive pattern. At least he didn’t hit her when he was sober.

I wasn’t exactly sure how terrible Taehyung’s life was until the night he called me. At his request, I stole a few bills from my mom’s purse as well as her ID and put us up in a cheap motel room for the night. Jumping up when I finally heard his knock, I quickly pulled the door open to reveal Taehyung, his blue hair stringy from the rain outside. He was panting like he ran all the way there. I covered my mouth with my hands as the dim lighting revealed his left eye swollen shut, covered in nasty shades of scarlet and purple. His lip was split and bleeding, and his right cheek had another bruise and cut creeping down to his jawbone. The worst part, though, were the red finger-shaped marks that covered his neck.

“Y/n,” he croaked out. I held open my arms and he fell into them, not leaving their safety until well into the morning. I iced his black eye and bruises as much as I could, and bandaged the cuts that covered his face. Taehyung’s face was pressed into my chest, his breathing deep and even as he finally slept.

I decided then and there I’d never let him go.

Thankfully, Taehyung felt the same way. Within a week, he brushed off every other girl he was chatting up and focused all of his attention on me. We spent hours with each other after school, either in person or on the phone, and it became a common occurrence for him to intertwine his fingers with mine or peck me sweetly on the cheek.

I quickly grew dissatisfied, sick of the friendship barrier preventing us from taking things further. We spent an entire day together one weekend, talking, laughing, walking the streets, and trying different foods from vendor carts. As the sun started to go down, Taehyung wrapped his arms around me from behind, pressing his chest into my back. He was teasing me, I forget about what, and he leaned down to kiss my cheek when I turned at the last second and let him peck my lips instead. I laughed as his dark eyes grew wide with shock.

That was all it took, though. One kiss, and he was mine. Or rather, I was his. Afterwards, he pulled me into a deserted alleyway and we kissed until the sun completely disappeared. As the stars appeared in the sky above, Taehyung asked me to be his girlfriend, murmuring in my ear about how much he loved me and how he had never stopped loving me, even after I turned him down. With my heart practically bursting, I readily agreed.

Back then, Taehyung had a knack for getting in trouble, and me being his new girlfriend did nothing to hinder that side of him. He was definitely the “bad boy” of our school, constantly rebelling against the system by swapping his uniform for street clothes and ditching classes. His favorite form of rebellion, however, was street graffiti. He loved spray-painting words and drawings all over the walls of our neighborhood alongside his best friend, Namjoon. Tae was nearly caught by the cops a couple of times, but thanks to his quick instincts, he managed to give them the slip.

Still, a boy with bright, blue hair was bound to stand out, so after a couple nights of close calls, Taehyung finally dyed his hair back to that soft, caramel brown that I loved running my fingers through. We sat together at a bus stop, watching cars and people go by with fingers intertwined, when Tae stood and pulled a paint can out of his jacket pocket.

“Again?” I asked. Despite my teasing tone, I smiled up at him.

Taehyung tucked his bottom lip between his teeth with a grin as he sprayed something onto the panel beside us. “Look,” he said once he was finished, tilting his head to admire his work.

I stood up to see the words “I’m fine” sprayed in green. The font was the most interesting part, though, too curly in comparison to Taehyung’s usual writing. “Now look at it from upside-down,” Tae said.

I threw him a skeptical look before obediently curving my neck and scoping out the piece of art as best I could. “Save me,” I read out loud.

Taehyung nodded. “It’s for us,” he murmured.

I looked up at him, emotions surging through me like a waterfall surging down a cliff. “It’s beautiful,” I said, my voice cracking.

Taehyung looked at me, concern filling his features. “Baby girl, what’s wrong?”

“I-I have s-something to tell you,” I stammered.

With many tears and a shaky voice, I began to explain to Taehyung the events that had transpired only a few nights before. How my mom’s boyfriend had quietly snuck into my room while she remained passed out on the couch. How he had told me to be quiet as his hand started stroking my arm. How he had held his hand over my mouth and yelped when I bit him. How I had screamed so loud our neighbors called the cops. How he was carted away by the police with my mother shrieking the entire time about how I was a brat and a dramatic liar.

Taehyung’s gaze grew darker with each word. “That bastard,” he spat, clenching his fists. “I will end that motherfucker.”

“Taehyung, stop,” I sighed. “It’s over. For now, at least. I’ll stay at Chaeyoung’s until graduation.”

“What do you mean? He’s not going to jail?”

I hung my head. “My mom left to pay his bail an hour ago.”

Taehyung slammed his fist into the same panel he just graffitied. “So that jerk is going to walk free?!”

I stood up and ran my hands soothingly over his shoulders. “For now. I’m going to press charges, but in the end, it’s my word against his. Who knows how the system will treat him.”

Taehyung let out a feral growl, turning away from me. “I’m sick of this shit,” he snapped. “My dad, your mom’s boyfriend… neither of them should be walking free after everything they’ve done.”

Not knowing what else to do, I hugged him tightly from behind. “Just another few months,” I said quietly. “And then we’ll be out of here. A house in the country, just like you said.”

“That’s not good enough,” Tae snapped, turning back towards me. My mouth parted in surprise as I looked into his eyes and saw something there I’d never seen before. It was like a slow-burning flame, one that hadn’t yet risen into a raging wildfire, but threatened to if it wasn’t quickly put out.

Taehyung suddenly grabbed my hand and tugged me down the street. “I’m dropping you off at Chae’s,” he said. “And then I want you to stay there for the next twenty-four hours. I don’t want you going out for any reason, you understand me?”

“Taehyung, what are you saying? You’re scaring me.”

He stopped walking, turning so we were facing each other once more. The flame I saw earlier began blazing, turning rapidly into something uncontrollable and destructive I didn’t know how to stop. “This ends tonight,” he growled.

True to his word, he dropped me off at Chaeyoung’s, not leaving until he made me promise I wouldn’t go out until he said so. After a week, with Tae’s permission, I went home to get some clothes and personal items only to find my mom sitting on the couch, strung out of her mind. “Is he here?” I asked tentatively.

She raised her red-rimmed eyes to meet mine. “Who?”

“Manseok. Your jerk of a boyfriend.”

My mom shrugged and scoffed. “Haven’t seen that bastard for a couple days now,” she said, her words slurring together. “He upped and left us. Stole some money from me to do it, too.”

The feeling of relief that I felt was short-lived once I remembered that asshole would probably be back for more, just like the others. I quickly gathered my things and left, stopping only to make sure my mom had enough food for the next few days.

Ever since that night, Taehyung withdrew into himself. He still held my hand and kissed me, but it was distant, emotionless, like he didn’t know how to feel his feelings for me anymore. He weirdly became somewhat possessive of me, keeping me practically glued to his side whenever he was with me, and constantly texting me when we weren’t together. Whenever other boys looked my way, Taehyung shot them down with harsh words and incessant bullying our friends joined in on. I insisted they stop that kind of behavior, and for a while, I thought Tae and his friends complied. It wasn’t until much later in life when I realized they never truly stopped. They just got better at hiding it.

One night, I was at Namjoon’s place waiting for Tae when Joon’s phone rang. “Taehyung?” he said, turning away from me when I looked up. “Hey, calm down. You did what?!”

He stood up quickly. I motioned for him to put it on speaker, but he waved me off. “Okay, stop. I’m coming over right now. Just stay put, dammit.”

Joon grabbed his jacket and rushed towards the door. “Wait!” I cried. “What happened?!”

“Nothing that concerns you,” he snapped. “Stay here. I’ll bring Taehyung to you, alright?”

Neither of them came back. Before the sun even thought of rising, I determinedly ran all the way to Taehyung’s apartment, desperate to see him and make sure he was alright. As my sneakers pounded against the pavement and my breath started coming out in ragged gasps, I suddenly felt a hand grasp my forearm and yank me into a side alley.

“What are you doing here?” a voice growled as I yelped in surprise. I looked up to see Jungkook standing there, glaring at me.

“I want to see Taehyung,” I retorted, ripping my arm from his grasp.

He crossed his arms. “Not gonna happen.”

“Like hell it’s not!” I snapped. “Where is he?”

Jungkook grabbed the front of my jacket, preventing me from pushing past him. “Go home, Y/n.”

“Absolutely the fuck not!”

Sick of my shit, Jungkook picked me up, threw me over his broad shoulder, and carried me out of the alleyway. I kicked and screamed the entire way. He set me down once we were on the main street. “Taehyung will call you when he can,” he said firmly. “I won’t say it again, Y/n. Go home.”

“No!” Tears welled up, and I furiously swiped them away. “I’m his girlfriend! Tell me where he is right now or I’ll—”

“You’ll what?” Jungkook snapped. “Y/n, you don’t even know where he is. Fucking leave, or I’ll carry you all the way back to Chae’s myself.”

It didn’t take much longer for me to realize Jungkook wouldn’t relent. Eventually, I went back to Chaeyoung’s and spent the day staring at the wall beside my bed. What did Taehyung do? What were his friends protecting him from? When had things gotten so fucked up?

My questions were never answered. After a full week of silence, complete with him missing school, Taehyung showed up at Chae’s place asking for me. “She doesn’t want to see you,” Chae snapped, closing the door as I meandered into the entry hall.

Taehyung stopped her by slamming his palm against the wood. “Please, Chae,” he begged.

Recognizing his deep tenor, I walked up and put my hand on my bestie’s shoulder. “I’ve got this, Chae,” I murmured. She left with a huff.

Taehyung looked terrible. Dark circles ran under both eyes like he’d spent multiple nights without sleep, his hair was unkempt, and his skin was much too pale. Without another word, I immediately took him inside and dragged him up to my room. He took a shower in my en suite bathroom while I washed his clothes. After he dressed, we sat on my bed, still not speaking. “What happened?” I finally asked.

He tossed me a weak smile. “Life happened.”

I shook my head in disgust. “You leave me for an entire week with no explanation, and that’s all you have to say?”

“Baby girl, please,” Taehyung said, clasping my hands in between his large, rough ones. “I’m sorry I left you alone. I asked the guys to keep an eye on you, and they said you’ve been doing fine.”

“Fine is an overstatement,” I snorted, tearing my hands from his grasp.

He didn’t relent, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me into his broad chest. “Let go,” I ordered, trying and failing to push him away.

“No,” he said simply, tightening his hold. “I love you, Y/n. Everything that happened this past week happened for us. For our dream.”

I managed to pull back enough to look up into his eyes. The spark of mischief that normally resided there was gone, replaced by a dull sombreness that made me ache inside. Whatever had happened that week completely changed Taehyung for good. He was no longer quick to smile or joke, and I began to yearn for the blue-haired boy of the past. I couldn’t tell him that, though. Despite everything, I still loved him.

A month passed, and as our graduation approached, Taehyung talked more and more about moving out to the country. I responded enthusiastically outwardly, but on the inside, I didn’t know if moving out was such a good idea. It wasn’t just the way he had changed. It was having issues with my mom as well. Since Manseok never came back around, her behavior grew more erratic each day. I moved back in to take care of her, and she depended heavily on me. I was afraid if I left, she would fall off the deep end again and never be able to make it back to the surface.

The last day I saw Taehyung dawned bright and filled with hope. “I’m feeling good today,” he announced, slinging an arm around my shoulders as we walked to class.

I smiled up at him, glee spreading through my limbs when I saw a trace of that mischievous spark back in his eyes. “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.” He tossed me a grin. “I haven’t been able to go out and tag anything lately… but I kind of want to tonight. You in?”

“Of course.”

As night approached, we walked hand-in-hand down the street until Taehyung led us back to that bus stop where he painted the “I’m fine/Save me” ambigram. I sat on the bench and watched as he began to create something new. I don’t think he had a set plan. The painting started off in meaningless loops, the jet-black color standing out in stark contrast to the white behind it.

Suddenly, bright lights filled our vision flashing a blinding blue and red. “Freeze!” a loud voice yelled.

I remember Taehyung’s wide, dark eyes finding mine, filled with panic. I remember the rough skin of his palm sliding into mine and yanking me upright. I remember how we sprinted down the street, the fear of being caught pumping adrenaline through us. How he ran faster than me, tugging me along to keep up.

Taehyung looked back and pulled me into an alleyway to try and lose them. We turned a corner and met a dead end. With our backs pressed against the wall, I looked at Tae. “Dammit,” he panted, the corners of his mouth turning upwards despite our situation.

I began to run out the way we came, intending on dragging Taehyung with me, but he yanked me back, slamming me against the wall that entrapped us. He kissed me, feverishly pressing his tongue inside my mouth before I could stop him. He yanked my wrists upwards, pinning them almost painfully against the brick above us as his mouth continued exploring mine and his hands roamed up and down my body.

He pulled back, allowing me to finally suck in some oxygen, and even as I coughed, he continued pressing kisses from my cheek to my jaw to my neck. Tae finally stopped as loud voices and beams of flashlights got closer. “I love you, baby girl,” he murmured. “Don’t forget that.”

“Tae, what—?”

He stepped out from behind the corner, raising his hands in the air. I ducked down into the shadows the alley provided, scooting backwards and pressing my hands over my mouth.

“Get over here, punk,” a gruff voice commanded. I heard the grinding click of handcuffs closing over wrists as another voice began to read Tae his rights.

I scrambled to my feet, realizing too late what was happening. No, no, no, no, no. He couldn’t take the fall for both of us. Not like this. Still, even as I moved to step out into the light and reveal myself, something stopped me. I don’t remember exactly what it was. Possibly the thought of my mother, my friends, how close I was to graduation. Like I said, I don’t remember. All I remember was the panic I felt when I realized the love of my life had just been arrested.

I showed up late to class the next day, not wanting to answer questions from my friends about what had happened and why I looked like absolute shit. I realized my efforts weren’t needed when two detectives pulled me out of class and escorted me to the police station, causing my classmates to start buzzing with gossip like the annoying wasps they were.

“So… L/n Y/n,” the cop, Detective Kwak, said. I looked up at her, nervously twisting my hands in my lap. “You are dating Kim Taehyung, correct?”

I nodded slowly. She had brought me here for “routine questioning,” yet I began to suspect more when they put me in an interrogation room. “For how long?” the detective asked.

“About a year and a half,” I muttered.

“So your relationship was serious?”

“You could say that.”

“How serious?”

I narrowed my eyes at her. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, how serious were you? Did you have plans for after graduation?”

“I guess. We were going to move in together.”

“Here in the city?”

“No,” I replied, shaking my head. “Somewhere far away.”

“Because of your troubles at home?”

It was then I got defensive. “What do you know about that?” I snapped.

Detective Kwak stared me down, an amused smile playing around the corners of her lips. “I know enough. I was promoted to detective only a month or so ago. Back in my street days, I was one of the cops called to your house.”

My mouth parted in surprise at her words.

“I remember that night pretty clearly,” she continued. “Your mom’s boyfriend attacked you, right?”

I swallowed hard and sank down in my seat, rubbing my arms with my palms in an effort to keep myself contained. “And she did nothing to defend you, correct?” the detective prodded.

“Stop,” I whispered.

“What about Taehyung? Did he do anything to defend you?”

“What the fuck is this about?” I burst out. “I thought you brought me here because… because…”

“Because of the graffiti?” she asked pointedly.

I nodded.

Detective Kwak leaned forward over the table. “Look, Y/n, I don’t give a damn about the fact you were his tagging partner in crime or whatever. This is much bigger than that.”

“What do you mean?”

She sat back and stared at me, her eyes like cold, dark tunnels. “Kim Taehyung has been charged with murder. His prints match a partial we lifted off of a crime scene.”

My mouth dropped open. “W-What?”

“That’s right,” she said. “We only identified the body yesterday. Does the name Lee Manseok mean anything to you?”

I froze as the syllables of my mother’s boyfriend’s name rolled off the detective’s tongue. She nodded at my reaction. “I thought it would. He was found in an abandoned warehouse about a week after he was killed. He’d been beaten to death.”

My blood ran cold, causing goosebumps to raise on the flesh of my arms. I shook my head fiercely. “No, that can’t be right,” I said. “The guy was a dick, anyone could’ve done that to him.”

“That’s what we thought at first. We first suspected his wife.”

“He… He has a wife?”

“And two kids,” the detective scoffed. “Your mom picked a real winner. But then we finally got Taehyung in custody thanks to your shenanigans last night and what do you know? His prints match the one we found at the crime scene.”

“You’ve got it wrong,” I said firmly. “Taehyung wouldn’t do that.”

“Wouldn’t he?” she asked, folding her arms over the table. “Sounds like he really loved you and would do anything to protect you.”

“No, there has to be a mistake. Even if Taehyung did kill him, it had to be out of self-defense or something.”

“Maybe so. But if you knock a guy out and then continue beating him until he dies, is it really self-defense?”

“It is if that guy could come back and hurt someone you love for revenge,” I retorted.

The detective’s face remained expressionless. “Unfortunately, the law says differently.”

“The law can go to hell for all I care.”

She chuckled. “Whatever you say, kid. Look, the crime scene revealed that more than one person beat the literal life out of Manseok. If Taehyung did this, he didn’t do it alone. Do you happen to know who else would have helped him commit murder?”

I stayed silent as I thought for a moment. Any of our friends could’ve helped him, with maybe the exception of Chaeyoung. I thought of Jin, Hoseok, Jungkook, Jimin, Yoongi and Joon. I thought of the way they moved around school like a unified group, making fun of anyone who wasn’t them and bullying people who got in their way, especially any other guy who dared look my way. Still, they wouldn’t have helped Tae commit flat-out murder, would they?

“Anyone at all?”

The detective’s voice brought me out of my thoughts. I shook my head. “No. No one.”

She sighed. “There’s something else. We’ve been trying to get ahold of Taehyung’s father, but he seems to be missing.”

“Missing?”

“Yes. He hasn’t shown up at his job at all in the past month and a half. His credit cards haven’t been used, either.”

“So?” I snapped. “The guy was an alcoholic, he could be holed up somewhere drinking himself to death.”

“Maybe so, but my guess is we’re going to find him in some abandoned building or maybe at the bottom of the ocean one day. Your boy, Taehyung? I’ll bet he’s the one who put him there.”

I slammed my palms on the table. “LIES!” I yelled. “He wouldn’t do that!”

“Wouldn’t he?!” Detective Kwak shouted, rising to her feet. “Tell me something right now, Y/n. Have you noticed him acting differently? Have you noticed any changes in his behavior?”

I immediately looked down at the ground. “No,” I muttered.

“I’m sorry, what was that?”

“I said, NO!”

“Enough with the lies!”

“I’m not lying! You are!”

The detective opened her mouth to retort, then thought better of it and sat down instead. “The evidence doesn’t lie, Y/n,” she said.

“Look,” I said. “If you want someone to put in jail, put me in jail. Taehyung’s gone through enough in his life. Please don’t put him through this.”

“You know I can’t do that.”

Tears welled up in my eyes and I put my hands over my face and began to sob. Detective Kwak stood up and came around to my side of the table before placing a hand on my shoulder. Once my sobs began to cease, she offered me a tissue. I wiped my eyes and blew my nose. “Thanks,” I muttered.

“Listen,” she said gently. “I’ve made arrangements for your aunt to come pick you up.”

I looked up at the detective in surprise. “My aunt?”

“Yes. Your mom’s sister. She’s filed to gain custody of you, and in light of recent events, a judge granted it to her.”

“Wait, my mom’s sister? I thought she lived in America.”

Detective Kwak’s mouth visibly tightened. “No, actually, she lives in Busan. Seems your mom kept that from you as well. Your aunt’s been trying to get in contact with you, Y/n. She says she sent letters.”

I stared at the wall across from me. Every limb, every nerve ending, every cell in my body was starting to go numb. It was all too much. My boyfriend was a murderer, my mom’s ex-boyfriend was dead, Taehyung’s dad was missing, and now all of a sudden I had a long-lost aunt who was now my sole guardian?”

“She’s very well off,” the detective continued. “She’s even offered to pay for your mom to get treatment in a rehabilitation facility. Whatever future you have with her is sure to be a bright one.”

“If you say so.”

“I know so. I’ve met her, only briefly, but she seems very nice.”

I let the silence grow between us, not bothering to give a response. The detective finally sighed and sat back down in her chair across from me. “Y/n, Taehyung is going to jail for a very long time. Maybe even for the rest of his life. I suggest you move on with your life. Move to Busan. You’ll attend a great school there, and probably university as well. You can start down an entirely new path.”

The memory of Taehyung’s handsome face swam before my eyes, his bright, boxy smile lighting my insides on fire the way it had for the past year and a half. “What if I don’t want to?” I whispered.

“Well… That’s up to you. But the sooner you move on, the sooner you’ll stop feeling this pain.”

Detective Kwak stood up, motioning for me to stand up as well. “Come on. Your aunt’s waiting.”

We exited the interrogation room, the skin on my face itchy and dry from crying. I knew I probably looked like a mess, but I didn’t care.

“Y/n!” a deep, familiar voice shouted. I froze in my tracks, slowly raising my eyes to his inky ones. He struggled in the grip of two cops, his hands handcuffed behind his back.

“Hey baby girl,” he said, smirking. “Nice of you to come visit me.”

“What the fuck is he doing here?” Detective Kwak hissed.

“You said to move him into the interrogation room.”

“While it’s still occupied?!”

“Don’t worry,” Taehyung quipped. “We can share, right baby?”

“Get him out of here!” Detective Kwak snapped. “Now!”

The cops shoved Taehyung towards the interrogation room. I turned to look at him, desperation clenching at my heart. I realized this might be the last time I saw him, the last time I would get to tell him something. Anything. My mouth opened but no words came out.

“Don’t worry, baby girl!” Taehyung shouted, lurching towards me. “I’ll get out someday! And I’ll come for you! I will always come for you!”

I shook my head and felt tears prick at my eyes once more as the police wrestled with him. “I love you, Y/n!” he shouted just before they shut the door on him.

“Sorry about that,” Detective Kim said, holding a hand to her heaving chest. “You weren’t supposed to cross paths.”

“It’s okay,” I murmured, and to my own surprise, I meant it. I was glad I saw him one last time. I realized, in that moment, that the blue-haired boy I once knew and fell in love with was completely gone. His eyes, which once held a spark of playfulness and mischief, now held nothing but misery and woe. He let his anger for the world overtake him, allowing it to blaze a path of self-destruction that I could no longer follow.

Maybe the detective was right. Despite the fact that Kim Taehyung was the love of my life, maybe, just maybe, it was time to move on.

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

Part One is HEEEEEEERE! 😉

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in-this-body-of-mine · 3 years

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To The Bone (2017) - Analysis and Charting

Let’s go! I’m NOT excited because life is hard but what better way to distract myself than to do this kind of shit. No one cares, anyways.

Since this is the first one, let me tell you what we’re gonna do here. I’ll include the IMDB summary, a summary with spoilers, the placements in the chart, we’ll go over each item (also, spoilers abound) and finally my review and final thoughts. Yes, it’s gonna be long. Read at your own risk.

IMDB summary: A young woman, dealing with anorexia, meets an unconventional doctor who challenges her to face her condition and embrace life.

Summary with spoilers: Lily Collins plays Ellen/Eli and from the start of the movie she is on the brink of her disease. She was just kicked out of a recovery center and she gets an appointment with a ~cool unconventional doctor~ played by Keanu Reeves. She goes into ANOTHER inpatient treatment home to be treated by him. Shit happens, she seems to be getting better somehow, but then she spirals down, runs away, and after a... near death experience (I wish this was an euphemism) she decides to try recovery again and goes back to the treatment home. That’s where the movie ends.

Chart placements!

Now for each item:

White: Ellen or Eli is played by Lily Collins, who once played Sandra Bullock’s daughter in that movie were she was a Karen. It doesn’t get whiter than that.

Female: She changes her name to Eli mid film (which is how I’ll be calling her here bc we respect chosen names in this household) but she still seems to identify as female and be referred to as such, so here we have it. We do have a guy in the treatment home, but we’ll come back to him later.

Teenager/Young adult: I’m pretty sure she is 19 but every review I see says she’s 20. Either way, she dropped out of college even though she just started it. The actress, however, was 28 at the time the movie was released.

Wealthy/seemingly well-off: Her family has the money to send her to inpatient a bunch of times, and they make a point to mention how they have connections so she didn’t have to wait in line to see this new doctor. Case closed.

Skinny actress from the start: As we know, Lily Collins is already thin and she did struggle with anorexia in the past. Why, however, did she lose weight for this movie? They said it was her decision “to make the character more authentic”. As if not being skin and bones wouldn’t be enough. As if eating disorders don’t come in every size. They shouldn’t let her. The need to shock people is a very dangerous sign to me.

No distinctive personality or hobbies/interests: I’m glad Eli has a thing she loves. It’s not super present, but it’s there, and it’s plot relevant. She loves art and in the story, she had a tumblr (look, it’s us!) where she shared drawings related to her ED and a girl liked her drawings so much that, when she killed herself, she mentioned Eli by name in a note. But that isn’t really explored too much and I kind of got disappointed by that.

Good student: We don’t really know about that... and I don’t think it matter, it’s ok.

Seemingly irrelevant love interest: Why? Just why do we need Luke? Luke is the only guy in the home, and we can SEE that he’s only there to be Eli’s love interest. He wasn’t needed. None of the important plot points have anything to do with him. Make her date a girl. Make her date NO ONE. This is about eating disorders. She could have closer friends in the house. Why was this necessary. Her whole speech about how love is a lie could come from a friendship but no. They had to shove pretty white boy there.

Daddy issues (sometimes coupled with mommy issues): I find this extremely funny but her dad isn’t in the movie. At all. He’s alive and well, but he makes a point to never come home when Eli is even awake. I don’t think they cast an actor for that. As for mothers, she has three, and it’s a trip. Her stepmom on her dad’s side is very out of touch but she wants what’s best for Eli, but she really hates Eli’s biological mom. Bio mom, in turn, is described as a “bipolar lesbian” and the stereotypes are just... ugh. Bio mom has a wife and she is a bit weird too. They sent Eli to live with her absent dad bc “they couldn’t deal with it anymore”. This brings us to a great scene where we can see Eli shrinking in her seat and when the psychiatrist asks her what she is feeling she says “I’m sorry I’m not a person anymore. I’m a problem.” And that’s great to see. But at the same time, I hate that her whole issue in this movie seems to come from her family and anorexia is just a thing that happened, with some vague references to control.

*Triggering event*: We never see it and it’s okay - but I kind of wanted some more explorations of motives because we have ZERO.

Anorexia as diagnosis: As I always say, what is even the point of making a cool looking movie about EDs if your protagonist is not only anorexic, but also terminally anorexic? Ugh. That’s the only portrayal of anorexia that happens in media and I’m fucking tired.

Checklist of habits (manual for those looking for one): I mean, I mark this down but as I always say: everything is a manual if you’re looking for one. But if you’re doing more than not eating or purging or exercising I’ll judge it as a new tip. A lot of us already thought of/did most of them probably. But the marking remains.

Inpatient treatment (or extended hospital stay): As I said, she is kicked out of one treatment center and goes straight into another. What fucks me up is that the movie HAS other characters with other diagnosis, but we never see anything about them. We don’t see their journey. We only know Luke is a dancer bc he is the love interest. We only know Megan is pregnant and then she’s not bc this sends Eli in a spiral. We only know Kendra is not straight bc she makes a joke about it (and Doctor Beckham follows with a horrible joke about conversion therapy). Did you notice Ciara Bravo was in this movie? I didn’t on first viewing. She has like two lines. The whole movie is centered around Eli and every scene in the house feels like all the other patients only care about her too.

Emotional tipping point: Megan loses her baby and for some reason this affects Eli. Luke kisses Eli and for some reason she’s pissed. At that point, I was annoyed. She has a bad session with Doctor Beckham who basically tells her to grow a pair and stop complaining (which is insensitive as a doctor, but as a person I wanted to do the same) and she decides to quit and leave. She has to go to her mother’s home and I’m supposed to care. Stepmom is mad but doctor says she needs to hit rock bottom. She weights like 70 pounds dude. Rock bottom was about ten pounds ago, next stop is a coffin, mate.

Mom hugs: And here we have the emotional turn around of the movie and it’s just... make it make sense. She goes to her bio mom’s ranch. Her stepmom # 2 tells they’ll have therapy with horses (?). Eli goes sleep in a tent and bio mom cries and says she accepts if Eli wants to die. Very supportive I guess. They have this weird bonding moment where the mom feeds her a bottle like a baby and look, if you liked that, good for you, but I don’t get what I was supposed to feel about it (but that’s mom hug #1). She goes on a hike next morning and... dies? Either way she has an out of body experience where she talks to Luke and sees how she looks - which is weird to me. Didn’t we go over this in the beggining of the movie? Didn’t we establish that she does know what she looks like and doesn’t care? But still she seems shocked and they have a cryptical conversation and she wakes up. And just like that, she’s ok now. She meets up with the other stepmom (mom hug # 2) and goes back to the home.

Happy ending: In the last scene Eli is back to the home and we understand she’s going to try to recover for real this time. I’m okay with that specifically, I think it would be bad if they pretended she just got better with no relapses and everything is fine, but it’s a hopeful ending. Despite the fact that we have no idea if she won’t have a fit and leave in two days and that we never know anything about anyone else and Megan, who lost the baby, never comes back. It’s fine. At that point, I didn’t expect much.

Analysis: I was hesitant to be critical bc this movie was based on the real life experiences of the director and Lily Collins. But fuck it, this is my circus and I’ll clown as much as I want. While I do understand that, I have a lot of thoughts.

Mainly, I need to say that while I understand this is her story, this is a story that was told so many times. I’m tired.

The general public that wants to defend the movie says “well you can’t tell ALL stories”, and while I agree, these people probably only saw this movie about the subject. If you HAVE (or had) and eating disorder, you probably saw tons. And they ALL tell the same story. Which is why I started that chart in the first place.

This movie does have good moments. I do like the acting, I saw people complaining about Keanu Reeves performance - but I do know these were people who disliked the movie entirely. I think his performance was great, Lily Collins performance was great, and their chemistry was great. The best scenes in the movie happened between the two of them. The one thing that I LOVED was their first interaction when he calls her on her bullshit. “You’re not thin, you scare people, and I think you like that.” YES. I never heard anyone talk about that. And I guess I’ll never will, bc the movie itself never talk about this again either. Also when she justifies the tumblr where her art triggered a girl so much, she says that she was just drawing what she knows, he calmly tells her that she can draw, but she doesn’t have to share it online tho. I liked their interactions because often ED patients are treated with silk gloves (is that the expression?) and sometimes there is a need for some though love. I also love Liana Liberato who plays her sister and that’s about it.

The problem with the doctor ends up being: what’s his method? How are you going to cure her? The method makes no sense. I don’t see the reasoning. I don’t think anyone does. And somehow it works and she goes back there.

I think my major problem with the movie is that it has the same issues every ED portrayal before it. It’s the same story again. I think it shines the most in the whole “it’s not about food, it’s about control!”. It IS about food though. For a lot of people, it is. Maybe not for this director or for Lily Collins, but for so many people it is about food. It’s about control as well, and it is possible that there is other factors related to it, but you can’t chalk it all up to a control issue and pretend it’s just whatever. If the food didn’t matter, it wouldn’t be an eating disorder.

Because of that, we have this heavy focus on her family issues and nothing to do with food. We have people trying to rationalize - maybe it’s bc your mom is a lesbian, maybe it’s bc i didn’t bond with you as a baby - and all that does is to make her lesbian bipolar mother seem like a crazy asshole and her dad seem like an absent asshole as if this is the only factor here. Give me SOMETHING. Any connection to food. Any sense. Nope. She just won’t eat bc her family is fucked up. Hoe, that’s all of us.

And I think the movie unintentionally DOES glamourize anorexia. Subtly, yes, but it does. Eli has SUCH an easy time refusing food. She doesn’t seem to think about food as much as she thinks about herself and her family and Luke and being annoying. She knows a bunch of calories and she overexercises. Idk. Not to mention that moment when Kendra asks her about purging and she says “it’s not her thing”. I mean. It is no one’s thing. No one likes it. It’s a compulsion. And if you have anorexia that severe and you are not with a feeding tube, you do eat every now and then, and you do have purging mechanisms. If she had said she prefers overexercising as a purging mechanism than to throw up, I would believe her. But the movie acts as if she just never eats ever and somehow she’s still standing. Give her a feeding tube then. It would be more believable.

I know it sounds kind of ranty, but my point here is: this extremely anorexic girl, that looks like a sack of bones, and gets that by never eating and doing crunches all the time, it is the wet dream of a fatphobic society with a 71 billion weight loss industry. This is the dreamy and frugal idea of anorexia that people have when they are deep into the illness - not when they recovered as the people involved say they did. I get that this is a very personal project. But it’s flawed. It doesn’t do anyone any favors. It just tells the same story, for the millionth time, but since this time it was in a big platform, more people saw it, and it was better done, with a better budget and with a good enough resolution so I can see every bone in Lily Collins body.

Anyway, that’s it for today. If you read all of that, thanks. Since this is Netflix, I’m assuming everyone saw, but the other movies are out there and if you need liks, hit me up. Be back soon.

#eating disorders #eds #pro ana #not pro and you know the rest #to the bone #thinspo #thinspiration #ed things #eds in media #thinsppi #anorekcia

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sk8terzz · 4 years

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OK WAIT VAMPIRE AU AND IM LIVING FOR IT i have a shit ton of headcanons so,,,

here’s a quick summary

Humans hunt vampires and they’re often outcased/killed, although there’s been more recently since they’re learning from a young age to disguise themselves and can now hide their teeth.

also there's a couple types of vampires: some who melt in sun but have wings and can eat normal diets and those who don’t melt in sun, don’t have wings and need a little bit of blood in their diets (but it can be from like,, animals. It doesn’t have to be humans)

the vampires who melt in the sun (ILL CALL EM MELTY BOYS) are super rare so unless stated otherwise, whenever i say “X is a vampire” i'm referring to the not melty ones with no wings

setting/time/almost everything is the same. They are just. Vampires. (THEY LOOK DIFFERENTS TOO SFBDJHG)

also ships include: adrinette/ladynoir, djwifi, julerose, kimax, myvan, nathaniel/marc (I FORGOT THEIR SHIP NAME) and chlolix (chloe/alix)

You can send me ask if you want more details on certain things but yeah

if that interest you there’s more stuff under the cut

here’s what everyone is because its easier

Marinette: vampire *MELTY BOY

Adrien: vampire *MELTY BOY

Nino: human

Alya: half vampire thing?? Idk it just feels right *the sun hurts her skin a little, and she has little wings*

Chloe: vampire

Sabrina: human

Alix: vampire

Kim: human

Max: human

Rose: human

Juleka: vampire *MELTY BOY

Nathaniel: human

Lila: human

Mylene: human

Ivan: vampire

Everyone else is a human except for marc, nathalie and adrien’s mom *MELTY BOY

- marinette feels rlly bad about being a vampire (ALSO she a melty one)

- “TIKKI IM A VAMPIRE BRO I CANT BE LADYBUG”

- can go in the sun for about a minutes before it begins to really hurt so being ladybug isn’t awful cause she can hide in the shade most of the time

- ALWAYS HAS A SUN CAP ON (when she’s marinette) she just wants to be in the sun bro

- some guys start a theory that ladybug’s a vampire and she’s SCREAMING LIKE BRO HOW DO THEY KNOW but it was a joke

- alya is like,, super weird about vampires cause she was taught her whole life to hate vampires by nora because she thinks they’re super dangerous

- at first alya’s like “yeah suck it vampires” and then she learns she’s actually half vampire and she’s kinda like

- “fuck”

- almost rejects the miraculous lb gave her cause she was like “no im kinda vampire”

- but lb just goes “yeah me too so what”

- ALYA FREAKS SHE’S LIKE FUCK YEAH VAMP GANG

- nino’s super chill with her being a vampire!! he finds it rlly cool lol

i feel like i could go into more detail about their relationship but That’s Another Story For Another Day

- adrien kinda hates being a vampire (esp a melty one) and hides it from everyone but plagg

- his dad would kill him for being a vampire because then his son wouldn’t be perfect and that’s not good enough

- felix figures out he’s a vampire but doesn’t tell anyone

- felix isn’t a fan of vampires but respects his cousin and keeps his secret

- hiding his wings is so annoying like??? He wraps them around his body and wears a cap all the time is the WORST

- also same thing as lb he can go in the sun for about a minute as chat noir before he begins to melt

- again i can go into more detail about chat noir/ladybug and marinette/adrien but im trying to keep this kinda short

- CHLOE OH GOD chloe is so scared

- don’t get me wrong she still is mean and petty but she’s really scared someone will find out shes a vampire

- and someone does

- BUT ITS ALIX AND SHES ALSO A VAMPIRE LMAO

- alix is super chill with chloe and is like “hey man i know ur a vampire but i am too”

- after this they both end up getting feeling for each other lol

- THEY BE DATING but that’s a secret

- chloe’s mom knows she’s a vampire because she saw her fangs when she was born which is part of the reason she doesn’t like chloe

- in this au audrey never warms up to chloe instead chloe learns to not give a shit about what her mom thinks (with the help of marinette and ladybug) and tells her off before her mom leaves for new york

- her mom still keeps the fact that chloe’s a vampire a secret from everyone tho

- cause outing someone as a vampire is actually so low that even thought like yeah,, not everyone likes vampires but like no one’s gonna like u either bc you outed them on something so personal and something they trusted you with

- sabrina doesn’t care if chloe’s a vampire she still really cares about her

- but sabrina wouldn’t like it if anyone else was a vampire

- also another thing about chloe she tends to act like she hates vampires to avoid detecting from the Vamp Police

- ig the vamp police is like sabrina’s dad who really hates vampires and actively looks for them (which is part of the reason sabrina isn’t a big fan of vampires either.)

- they’re not called the vamp police it’s just the police but i like saying that

- like i said before alix is Vampire and basically learns who’s a vampire in the class super quickly

- she knows what to look for when someone’s hiding their identity and knows she’s not the only vampire in the class

- she also figures out everyone’s super hero identities (which is why she gets the rabbit miraculous)

- max knows from stats that it’s likely that there's a couple people in the class who are vampires

- KIM DIDN’T ACTUALLY KNOW WHAT A VAMPIRE WAS BECAUSE HIS FAMILY THOUGHT IT WOULD SCARE HIM SO THEY NEVER TOLD HIM LMAO

- max had to teach him (with the help of alix) what a vampire was but it took like an hour

- the only reason kim actually learned something is because his boyfriend told him that if he paid super close attention (after running through the whole presentation like 3 times) he would give him a smooch

- after that kim grew a big brain and learned everything

- both of their parents and ondine would be super accepting if they were vampires tho

- but they’re both human

- also a little more lore its not biological if you’re a vampire or not it’s purely chance

- Its kinda like being born lgbt ig

- ALSO EVERYONE IS SOME FORM OF LGBT but i have my own hc for that

- lgbt vampires are incredibly oppressed like they can’t go out into the street *pensive*

- ANYWAYS juleka is a melty vampire and rose is a human

- rose’s family is super into hunting vampires

- rose invited her gf over for a family dinner and the whole time they talked about killing vampires

- juleka doesn’t hate being a vampire and thinks it’s really cool

- SO SHE DRESSES LIKE A VAMPIRE???

- rose had marinette design juleka a sun hat similar to hers because juleka kept forgetting she melts in the sun and went out in it more times then she should’ve

- juleka’s a little bit more outgoing in this au and drops hints that she’s a vampire because she thinks it’s Epic

- rose has to remind her that not everyone thinks it’s epic

- nathaniel is really passionate about vampires and wants to learn more about them

- HE POPPED OFF HARD WHEN HE LEARNED HIS BOYFRIEND’S A VAMPIRE

- nathaniel is so supportive of marc it’s rlly cute

- he has to stop himself from mentioning his bf’s a vampire bc he remembers not everyone thinks it’s as cool as he does

- marc loves that nathaniel is so supportive

- when he first saw nathaniel drawing the class of vampires he just went “fuck he’s the one”

- 100% nathaniel draws marc looking super vampire during class

- i’m just now thinking of akuma’s but like here’s kinda how it would work

- They’re basically the same as they were before (being all evil and shit,, basically the same powers) but i think there would be some story changes??

- lady wifi would be less concerned with lb’s identity and more with if she’s a vampire or not because the cause of her akuma would be her theorizing if lb’s a vamp or not

- causing chloe to make fun of her and say stuff like “cool people can’t be vampires they’re stupid and serve no purpose in life”

- lady wifi doesn’t manage to rip of either lb’s mask for her fake teeth because the costume change also adds fake human teeth to replace the real ones (and you can’t take them off like the mask)

- but lady wifi doesn’t know this so she assumes lb’s not a vampire which she’s disappointed with but alya doesn’t remember this

- BUT the media and chat noir think that she’s not a vampire

- reflekta’s design is a little different but that’s about it

- The change with lady wifi is the only akuma i can think about rn but if i do more headcanons about this i might go more into detail on stuff like that

- CHAT BLANC IS ALSO DIFFERENT

- the build up to the akumatisation is basically the same but adrien realises that lb is marinette and also a melty vampire cause he she’s her melt a little when she leaves the room

- after marinette breaks up with adrien he runs in and transforms

- after the reveal of adrien’s mom and stuff adrien reveals his wings and tries to kill is dad

- gabriel is disgusted by his son and tells him how disappointed his mother would be

- then chat gets akumatized and stuff

- instead of hitting the moon he’d hit the sun so that he didn’t need to struggle with being a vampire anymore

- he sucks the life out of hawkmoth and claims that he and lb can be together now that there’s no daylight but she says she can live like this which is when he kills her and goes on a murder spree

- then he just sits atop the eiffel tower in complete darkness until past lb shows up with bunnyx and she fixes everything

- his motives are more about disappointing his mother this time and being ashamed about being a vampire

- and also that his wish would be to make it so nobody is a vampire so people wouldn't have to feel ashamed about their identity and hide it all the time

- lb teaches him to love himself and his identity as a vampire and how proud his mother would’ve been of him

- ok enough about chat blanc

- lila is a human and she acts like she loves vampires

- but she actually hates them

- she’s super touchy with adrien and he’s even more uncomfortable now cause he knows she’s lying and would hate him when she found his wings

- all the vampires have seen this act before and tell their s/o’s so basically everyone’s against lila except for like maybe sabrina

- no one thinks she’s cool because i hate her

- she still lies about going on rides with prince ali and other stuff

- WOULD TOTALLY OUT SOMEONE AS A VAMPIRE

- absolute jerk

- her family is known for hunting vampires but she claims she’s different

- ok but ivan is just a sweet vampire trying to keep his identity a secret and mylene is just his support human gf who loves him just the way he is

- ivan doesn’t hate being a vampire but also doesn’t like it cause he’s worried that everyone will say stuff like “i bet you’re a vampire” “you’re a villain and you’re cruel, just like vampires” and other stupid stuff

- he is just a soft man

- MYLENE DEFENDS HIM WITH HER LIFE

- mylene thinks him being a vampire is super cool!!

- they kiss a lot and ivan is worried he’ll bite her but she’s ok with it

- sometimes ivan wishes he was a melty vampire so he could wrap his wings around mylene to cuddle her and stuff

- they are v cute valid couple

- gabriel knows nathalie is a vampire and she knows he knows but neither of them make comments on it

- nathalie does really like vampires and doesnt mind being one herself

- she knows adrien’s a vampire and helps him hide it

- his father likes to know everything about adrien so he tried leaving cups with blood in them in his room to see if he would drink them

- and if he did cause he didn’t know his father was testing him nathalie would just refill them

- she starts keeping blood around the house and gabriel assumes it’s just for her cause he isn’t educated and doesn’t know the difference between rare vamps and the common vamps

- but it’s for adrien

- ALSO LIKE LAST ONE BUT one time lb and chat went out at night to hunt for blood cause they were thirsty but they ran into each other and it was rlly awkward

- but they’re both rlly oblivious and convince each other that they were out for a nightly stroll cause they couldnt sleep

#miraculous ladybug #marinette cheng #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste #ladybug #chatnoir #miraculous ladybug au #i just really love them all #adrinette

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adecila · 5 years

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Game of Thrones – A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms - 8x02 episode analysis (kind of)

…or the episode we should have gotten last week.

And we’re back! I am not here to shit on last week’s episode I actually enjoyed it very much, if you just take it for what it was, but! I cannot help but remark how much better episode 2 has been to us… the writing was very very good and rich, and in character, and it finally feels like GoT and… I honestly don’t know what happened in episode 1. But moving on…

As you can already tell, this is going to my personal summary, thoughts and analysis of episode 02 of season 8. Going to put it all under a cut – spoilers, you have been warned.

Are you an Oathkeeper or on Oathbreaker? Or the Jaime Fucking Lannister Fest

Listen I am not calling this a trial, because it is not. Yes I know they call it a trial in the BTS and Inside the episode.

Dany’s speech about Jaime’s deeds against House Targaryen is very good. As I have mentioned in my preview analysis, this is the first time (third time is a charm ha) that Jaime and Dany speak to one another. She doesn’t know this man. This man tried to kill her and he killed her father.

I got right half of the stuff at least, for what it’s worth. Tyrion looks soooo sooo bad. LIKE YOU KNEW YOUR SISTER? Oh the glare!!! If looks could kill, Tyrion would be dust. LiStEn, Tyrion, honey. Sit down. Jeez, read the room, you are not making it better. Dany is right - why should she trust this man? And Sansa is right there with her… until Brienne speaks.

Gwen called Brienne’s speech something “almost like a declaration of love” and I think that is so beautiful it hurts. Not a Braime fan, but hey you got fed fam, I am happy for you! I already mentioned in my live blogging that it was either incoherent or just plain retcon to forget that Sansa sent Brienne to KL because she thought Brienne would kill her if it meant a showdown with Arya. But I digress.

I find it very interesting how Jaime didn’t apologise and his cojones to say so because “we were at war” - and I get it, my dude, Ser Hot Stuff, we all know all is fair in love and war, but I guess it would be ooc for him to apologise. Great delivery, I don’t particularly like NCW but this scene? Top notch. I rate it one doggy style fuck out of one, but so good your legs are wobbly and you can barely find the energy to plop on your bed afterwards.

The things we do for love… and Bran is back with the fucking shit stirring drama. We stan Bran Starkashian.

I find it interesting since this is also Dany’s chance to show how she rules - Lady Sansa says her opinion, which surprises Dany. Then she turns to Jon, who the entire time has been very very quiet. Like the kind of quiet you are when you have the biggest hangover and you are stuck in class and you just want it to be over with. So Jon says what he could say to get the fuck out of there. “We need every man we can get.” So Jaime is given his sword back after Grey Worm literally gives him the I AM WATCHING YOU BITCH glare.

But Jon’s chair is not facing forward, it is slightly oriented towards Dany’s. Notice how he doesn’t look at her, even when she addresses him directly. She gets up and everyone does so afterwards FINALLY SOME FUCKING RESPECT and she turns to Jon… and he doesn’t even look at her… and my baby looks heartbroken because he just ignores her *coughs* As soon as the meeting ended, he rushed out, not giving her a chance to say a word. *coughs*

In defence of Jon… Know what, we’ll talk about Jon later, when we get to the reveal.

Oh and Bran totes doesn’t care about Jaime enough to expose him in front of the entire Great Hall. Because ya know, he is a drama queen, but he keeps his cards close, he either already has a plan for Jaime or as he said, and as I have predicted from the preview, it serves no purpose to expose Jaime for what he did to Bran. Like just click on it and read it. Good that Bran called him out on his apology naaah bitch you don’t get to go holier than thou here. It is what it is.

Me at Bran this episode:

Jaime and Tyrion’s conversation is very interesting, not only about Dany in general whether she is worthy or not, and Tyrion seems to be team Dany. Was it just me or Tyrion more like whispered the part where he talks about Cersei’s baby. Also also listen Jaime, unless you’re suddenly a gynaecologist how the fuck do you know she is not lying? I loved how Tyrion called Jaime out on the fact that he loved Cersei despite knowing full well what and who she was. Dude let’s call it what it was. Don’t play coy now.

Ding ding ding Tyrion mentions marching to KL and killing Cersei … and that’s all I am gonna say about it.

Jaime x Brienne wow this ship is getting so fed - enjoy babies ! And I loved how Brienne was suddenly WHY ARENT YOU INSULTING ME I DONT KNOW HOW TO INTERACT TO YOU !!!! Brienne is leading the left flank and Jaime wants to be led by her. Keep in mind for next week’s episode! I am so proud of my son Pod, I am basically proudmom!Brienne tbh.

The episode in which Dany gets a lot of counsel - because that’s also the type of ruler she is

Tyrion x Varys x Jorah vs Dany - Dany gives the best scolding ever tbh. Moms, take notes, because look at Tyrion’s face. He knows this Christmas when the NK comes he will only get coal. No whores and wine for Tyrion. He was naughty boy.

KHALESSI - Listen. I don’t like Jorah in the books, and my impression of show!Jorah has always been tainted by it. But this Jorah is redeemed and deserves to live I WILL RIOT IF HE DIES. The scene he has with Dany is one of my favourites because it just shows how much history they have together. I will sob if he dies because he is the only one left from S1E01 with her. Jorah tells her to forgive Tyrion and seek out S.ansa to smooth things over. MY BEAR

S.ansa x Daenerys - First time I thought it was going well, they were bonding… and then S.ansa leaned forward and the hand placing seemed a bit too deliberate to me, too Margaery. What I am trying to say is that it is very hard to know if S.ansa is being genuine. It is a very good scene and it holds a lot of importance later on, more on that when I talk about the reveal in the last scene (and I this is what I wanted from episode 1 - cold but courteous.)

S.ansa tells Dany Jon loves her and that “men do stupid things for the women they love, they’re easily manipulated” - which, fair point; she saw Cersei and Margaery do it. Buuuut she also had the counter-argument: she saw how Littlefinger manipulated her aunt. So it goes both ways, bby.

“All my life I have known one goal: the Iron Throne […] until I met Jon

INTERRUPTING THIS PROGRAMME TO FLAIL BECAUSE HOLY SHIT WE FINALLY HEAR DANY CALL HIM “JON” ON SCREEN YES YES FUCKING FINALLY THANK YOU BABY JESUS AND MARY AND THE ENTIRE TEAM OF 12 APOSTLES

“Now I am here, half a world away, fighting Jon’s war alongside him. Tell me, who manipulated whom?” - I love how Dany turns the tables here, because she is right; if Dany was manipulating Jon, then how come she is the one here, fighting with all her men and resources and dragons? Who gains from this more? SEE S.ANSA IT MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE IF YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN-

FINALLY SOME GOOD FUCKING CONTENT.

Then S.ansa goes for that smile ugh and agaaaain I am having soooo much trouble taking it for genuine.

“I am here because I love your brother and I trust him and I know he is true to his word […]” I AM DEAD DEAD DEAD

And then it goes to shite because S.ansa is now clearly drawing inspiration from Theresa fucking May since she has no fucking skills to bring up Brexit - is it Nexit? Dany retreating her hands tho - she feels played LIKE REALLY BITCH I WAS SPEAKING FROM MY HEART AND YOU WERE JUST BUYING TIME HERE.

Theonsa everywhere - or the ship you never thought would happen in this show yet you can’t help but ship it

That hug!!!! Wow I loved it!!! Sophie and Alfie killed it. Also watch Dany in the background - my baby!!! Do you know how hard it is being around people with big families when you’re… alone? It’s fucking depressing, and I just want to hug Dany and carry her to safety.

We got 3 Theonsa moments (and one was a Jonerys parallel so you know the romantic undertones are strong) in this episode soooo yeah! Enjoy! I am afraid they are setting Theon up to die, especially since it would be poetic cinema.jpeg for him to die defending Bran after he took WF from him.

Also also feels like book!Theon and show!Theon are colliding again.

The Merry Men and the Night’s Watch leftovers ; and Ghost for 3 seconds - you’re welcome ; the Hound and Beric; Missandei and Grey Worm

Tormund calling Jon “little crow” was fucking everything! did you catch Jon’s smile??? Precious baby!!! And then asking about Brienne!!!! But did you catch Jon’s face when he saw Sam was also there - like ugh you again - BYE

Missandei x Grey - one of them is totally dead BYE I AM GONNA FLUNG MYSELF OUT THE WINDOW

Sam x Jon on the battlements - ugh Sam really you are looking soooooo bad right now. Jon’s face is again precious. He is so over Sam atm and he is just like WHEN WILL THE NK COME FOR ME BECAUSE IF I HAVE TO STAY ONE MORE SECOND WITH THIS BITCH ISTG– Then I got emo when Edd came up. Damn. Watch Edd die too… I feel it in mah bones. That’s how the last of the NW dies.

Arya x The Hound - I get soooo many dad feels from the Hound tbh and I love it. My guess the Hound makes it. Beric tho??? hmmm Idk about that.

Tormund is fucking insane and I love him

THE BRIENNE KNIGHTING WAS EVERYTHING AND I CANT EVEN LOOK AT THE GIFS WITHOUT SOBBING MAH HEART - also!!! Dunk and Egg reference - Brienne parallel?? And the title of the episode! ugh Summerhall references? BRIENNE DO NOT DIE

Sam gives Jorah Heartsbane - Good. It’s what Jorah deserves. *pushes Sam out of the shot*

Pod singing Jenny’s Song is tearing me apart and making me sob harder I FUCKING LOST IT AND I AM STILL GETTING CHILLS YALL THIS WAS FUN. SEEMS EVERYONE DIES. No, I jest. But I love how they paired up the couples for a tragic love song - Brienne x Jaime, Sam x Gilly, S.ansa x Theon, Arya x Gendry, Missandei x Greyworm, Jon x Dany. I wouldn’t look too much into the song choice tbh, since in Inside the episode they say they knew they wanted a song and they just picked this one and added more verses since it was incomplete. I know this is the second Summerhall reference, but ya know, I personally wouldn’t look too much into it. Edit: I should have never trusted D&D - now go read these amazing posts made by @tomakeitbeautifultolive in which she explains the song and the significance for Jonerys. Also Ramin Djawadi spoke about the song and fed our fandom just today (April 25th).

The War Council or let’s gather around Bran Starkashian so he can spill some tea on the NK

Plan sounds basic imo, not that I had expected much about that, but in Miguel we trust and we know he will absolutely crash this battle in episode 3.

Interesting how the casually dropped that apparently the NK’s goal is to destroy Bran. And the mention of the mark - so now basically Bran is chipped. Cool beans. Sam’s remark about “death is forgetting, being forgotten is very interesting. Memories don’t come from books, your stories aren’t just stories.” - interesting take here. I Sam writing the book about Jonerys? If so I am afraid he has A FUCKING BIAS OMG I AM GETTING HEATED AGAIN. Also my friend @iane-casey was totally annoyed how much screen time Sam got which honestly same dude I am still pissed at you *joins Jon to brood and glare at Sam*

Dany publicly makes a point in that she still needs Tyrion aka he is forgiven so that there is no bad blood between them.

Lmao my friend @zavocado says we should totes just tape Bran to Drogon’s belly and lure the NK away from WF *grabs the duct-tape*

FINALLY A MAP: listen, they are outnumbered as fuuuuck… besides that it is clear that Dany’s forces will get the most hit since they are in the vanguard, Birenne on the left with the Knights of the Vale and some Stark forces, on the right we get the rest of the North, and the Mormonts are inside the gates!

Jon walks on Dany a second time - Dany stops as the room clears out (Qhono and Jorah and Varys behind her), looks expectandly at Jon, he doesn’t look at her (MY BABY BOY HE LOOKS SO ROUGH DID HE EVEN SLEEP?), falters “Your Grace”, and bolts. She falters, her face is all WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING and she clears the room too. More on that at the end.

Gendrya or the OTP you did not know you need and why you fucking need it

First of all, this fandom is so pure. I loooooved all the Gendrya on my dash from episode 1 and then this episode I got flooded and I am here for it bitch. Give me all the feels.

I cannot wait to see Arya with her new weapon!!!

GENDRY IS SO SHOOKETH BY ARYA AND I LOVED THAT SHE TOPPED HIM

I HAVE A SON YOU HAVE A DAUGHTER LET’S JOIN OUR HOUSES

The gendrya - jonerys parallels??? EVERYTHING JUST WOW

Jonerys parentage reveal 2.0 or the reveal Jon also deserved not the travesty he got

I will do a play by play of the scene, but first. Why does Jon avoid Dany? Simple. He is hurting. Since we get the Jaime vs Bran stare down and then we get the Jaime trial, it is safe to assume that happens the morning after Sam blurted the truth to Jon about his mom and dad.

So at Jaime’s fake trial, Jon had what? A few hours at best to process everything - and by that I mean: Dany is his aunt; Ned lied to him his entire life (no matter the reason, Jon has been raised a certain way and to hear the man who was so honourable was capable of the biggest lie in the realm… das huge! so this is shocking his entire moral compass and belief system built upon the education his dad gave him); his dad actually loved his mom and married her so he is no longer a bastard - ya know aka the thing that affected his entire life and the thing he wanted most; his mom died giving birth to him and she managed to think of him in her last moments, enough to make Ned promise her he will take care of her son; the fact that if Robert even caught a whiff of it, he would have been dead. SO that is a LOT LOT.

Which explains why Jon was so out of it when he is asked about Jaime. Also explains why he bolts out of the room without looking at Dany - I think if he had even so much as looked at her he would have broken down. He isn’t ready for it.

Oh the stuff I mentioned he had to come to terms with? On top of all of it we must add the stress of finding a way of telling all of this to Dany in a way that he doesn’t hurt her. Also I bet your ass he thought there was a chance she may not believe him (he himself did not in the beginning)… and a chance she may think he wants the throne since Sam drilled this into his head so now he is afraid of that too.

So when Jon is in the war room he had what? around 12 hours in total since Sam told him? 15? 20? Do you think that’s enough? Because I don’t. But this time he is doing much better. So he is still not looking at Dany, but he addressed her “Your Grace” and leaves - which means he is already in a better place than where he was in the morning, but not quite there yet.

This is good angst. We should rejoice, it will hurt before it gets better.

Moving on. Why didn’t he just directly go to Dany? I honestly don’t think it’s in Jon’s character to seek out comfort. This is a kid who had no one to go to when he would hurt himself. That shit stays with you. You don’t just flip a switch and start seeking out your other half. No, in moments of stress the brain reverts to things it knows bets, to muscle memory and old habits; it uses the energy to overthink itself to death so ain’t nobody got time for that new behaviours shit. At this point jonerys have been together for how long? 3? 4 weeks? That’s not that much. They are used to each other, but not enough to break old habits and past traumas.

Now, the reveal:

Dany stops, silently asking permission before she approaches Jon. Poor bean must be a bit hurt that he avoided her twice, so better make sure he actually wants her company. Jon actually smiles at her, even if it is a sad smile. It kills me how he is just staring at him mom’s statue. KILLS ME. Only then, she approaches him (look at her face, brief relief!). She stops next to him, he turns to her and nods, and only THEN SHE EMBRACES HIS SIDE, HOLDING HIS HANDS, CHIN TO HIS SHOULDER.

“Who is that?”

“Lyanna Stark.” Jon eventually says

Dany looks a bit like oh… shit, again my family yikes… I would say she looks apologetic. “My brother Rhaegar, everyone told me he was decent and kind. He liked to sing. Gave money to poor children. And he raped her” - ok but this is big, because Dany just in S7 recognised her own rape… So no wonder her opinion on Rhaegar is not that good atm.

“He didn’t”

Dany looks shook, but she is still holding onto Jon. Notice how his hand is on hers?

“He loved her.”

She doesn’t interrupt. Jon almost looks like he is feeling brave, so he keeps her hand into his and turns to face her.

“They were married in secret. After Rhaegar fell on the Trident, she had a son. Robert would have murdered the baby if he ever found out and Lyanna knew it.”

Dany is surpised, but so far so good. Jon stares into her eyes.

“So the last thing she did as she bled to death on her birthing bed was give the boy to her brother” – camera on Emilia — oh shit for a split second it starts to show that she is putting two and two together – “Ned Stark” – her eyes widen and she blinks – “to raise as his bastard” – she exhales, breathing accelerates – “My name,” – breathing heavily on her part – “my real name” -- she looks incredulous and nods a smal no – “is Aegon Targaryen” – she blinks, exhales, puls away her hand and turn halfway away from Jon.

She looks away, then at him, he is almost leaning over her but still too far. “That’s impossible.”

Camera on Jonerys

“I wish it were.” (SEE THIS IS WHAT I AM SAYING MY POOR SON)

“Who told you this?”

“Bran. He was it.”

“He SAW it?” She sound clipped, the ARE YOU KIDDING ME tone clipped

“And Samwell confirmed it.”He read about their marriage at the CItadel” – camera on Emilia —”without even knowing what it meant” (OK BUT FUCK OFF SAM GILLY READ THAT) - Dany’s face her, she is clearly restraining herself because this sounds insane.

“A secret no one in the world knew, except your brother and your best friend, doesn’t seem strange to you?” she shakes her head and it breaks my heart how you can see the wheels turning in her head going fuck here we go again, I laid my heart bare and that’s it. Yet another betrayal.

Camera on Kit. He looks at her, takes a step forward “It’s true, Dany.” – camera on Emilia – “I know it is.” (UM HELLO DANY I AM HYPERVENTILATING BITCH)

Dany shakes her head, her face looks full with distrust. Then it goes to despair - her voice shaky “If it were true, it would make you the last male heir of the House Targaryen.” – camera on Kit HE FUCKING FROWNS LIKE WHAT – camera on Emilia – “You’d have a claim to the Iron Throne” – camera on Kit and his face goes again WHA—

THEN THE FUCKING HORN SOUNDS. Jon turns his head towards the door, but Dany keeps staring at him and she looks heartbroken.

They go out and it’s all business. He nods to her and she leaves. Interesting though - she comes out first. Jon turned back towards the sound so if they were just running out he should have come out first. Either he remembered to be courteous or there is another small exchange we didn’t get to see. Or maybe I am reading way into things and it was a lame ass decision hahah.

Ok so the reveal to Dany - you better fucking take notes Sam cuz this is how you do a reveal: being calm, level headed, explaining to the person as much as you can, answering questions.

On Dany’s reaction: my friend @oadara said it so so well in this post here. So, building on that, we need to put her reaction in context, just like I did with Jon’s cold shoulder. Dany’s discussion with S.asnsa is fresh in her mind, not just the part about who is manipulating whom, and that must drive her nuts now, but also the part in which S.asnsa did a 180 on her just when she thought she was making progress, so feeling like she was being manipulated. One of course must start asking questions. Has Jon just found out? Has he always known? Did he seduce her to take her armies and her dragons her her throne?? Moreover, Dany specifically tells S.ansa that her only goal in life has been the Iron Throne. Imagine that - having one goal in life, and suddenly someone comes in and can just rip it all away from you, poof just like that, they just need to say the word. Moreover, males have preference… and so many would rather follow a male than a female. And that’s a fact.

Moreover… she still thinks herself barren…

Like I am not saying Dany suddenly hates Jon or will cast him away (ok maybe she will initially I have a prediction/theory I will explain in a different post). I am saying… JUST GIVE DANY TIME. She just found out and now she gotta go save everyone’s ass. Let the girl breathe.

I was asking myself but why would Jon tell her now? If he himself wishes she had never known? I think it may be a very Ned Stark thing - he genuinely thinks he will fall, and he wanted to tell her the truth, because Rhaegar Targaryen may be his dad but Ned Stark is his daddy.

What do you think? As always, dms and asks are open!

Will make a preview post and another about my jonerys theory.

All in all, this episode was incredible and I loved it. I am so not ready for the fight fuuuuuuuuuuuu-

#got spoilers #got spoilers 8x02 #got 8x02 summary #jonerys #jonerys meta #r+l=j #got meta #game of thrones #my analysis

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lightshielded · 5 years

Text

spoilers and very VERY long, so below cut.

tl;dr - jarv is a character going through a lot of emotional turmoil caused by the lose of trust in close friends, lose of his family to the very magic they were working to promote ( suggesting to him it was the wrong idea to promote it ), having little healthy support network, and around him is a game of politics where those older and more experienced on the council are influencing him heavily in his altered state of mind. however, he is still a character who cares for his people, wanting to protect his people from future catastrophes cause by magic but also knowing they aren’t all bad so is also shown tentatively reaching out to foreign advisers of allied nations which have advised his father in the past on the subject of magic and is trying to do his best despite being king far younger than anyone should and thrown into the position in a truly horrific way.

important - all is subject to change as we are provided more info, this is just a pouring out of my first impressions and my attempt to understand and rationalise everything under the current state and info provided. also important to note, this includes mentions of suicidal tendencies, depression, ptsd and other like matters. please read with caution.

so as you may know ( or don’t and do not care about spoilers ) our dear prince, or rather king now, has had a very bad day. like he was almost made to eat a rat, and marvel didn’t want to draw him in his actual armour and did in the ceremonial / ig armour instead so i got big cucked out of my hopes and dreams, he got hit with a morg ult when trying to gank mid lane . . . oh and the mid laner killed his dad. what a wonderful day for our dear prince, i mean king.

so a couple things that are unrelated to what i am about to talk about but things that are true in my mind. riot removed jarv’s capture and torture by noxus just so they could have sy/las say he has no idea what he has experienced. just saying. 8 years of basically the exact same lore only to have one of his key points removed at the addition of the character? who then mocks him for it? just saying it’s true. tho i personally still go by that he was capture on my own blog and all, but i have cracked riot’s code.

also like where was shy? i think jarv kinda mentions her but like she is his bodyguard. that’s her whole thing. where is she? i get she tries to lay low but she is meant to be on jarv’s personal guard, but she wasn’t there. now i have a short theory on this. for those who don’t know, shyv is genetically a dragon, her real magic is the fire rune inside her. but otherwise she is a dragon that some how fucked up and became a human ( prior to sy/las it was caused by magic so the magic is technically making her human not a human becoming a dragon and after sy/las the shitty lore we don’t like is that it is the weather ).

so my theory is, since her dragon - ness isn’t magic but is like genetics, she would just eat him and he actually can’t use it against her so they had to remove her. some how. cause plot. and jarv is mopey that she isn’t around, for a reason they wont say :///// that or riot doesn’t care about her or forgot she existed :)))))))

so the actual things i wanted to talk about, jarv’s very harsh language and actions in the comic and short story. they seem so violent from what we know of the prince of the past. and while that might be true i would like to point out a couple things about jarv as a whole before we begin:

jarv was never brought up to fear or dislike mages - ( though would have heard stories i imagine ) which is evident in his father’s own opinions and his lore. this makes his point of view here seem obscure, he seems to hate very strongly despite not doing so before. this is true, but i believe i can provide some enlightenment on this. something similar to this has happened in his lore before. his first conflict with noxus he was introduced the harshest realities of war, it is the innocents that die first. in both new canon lores ( prior and post syl/as changes ) it is stated there were only a handful of survivors out of dozens of towns. it is said what he saw deeply affected him. the carnage there so deeply troubled him and he could not forget the faces of the dead. the atrocities he witnessed were far greater than he had anticipated and it left him very shaken and unable to correctly reason. this caused him to ignore all rational plotting and sense, pushing away all his advisers’ ideas, wanting nothing more the avenge those who died. and this ends badly for him. like jarv really, really loves his people and would do anything to keep them safe. in fact, it is known from other stories jarv doesn’t ask of his soldiers to do anything dangerous he himself isn’t doing. if they must face the risk of death he will do so too. and he has earned himself a lot of respect for that. so we know, jarv is deeply affected by his people’s deaths and is not unknown to react mindlessly out of rage when they are hurt, and thinking the ‘villain’ need to be punished.

our now king is younger than you all probably think - if you take demacia’s lore and the dates / ages we are given, he is quite young. low 20s with a max of about 25 but even that is generous. it is noted he doesn’t know what to do, his mood fluctuating like rising and falling flames, his lore says he needs to be ready but not that he is. this is not to say he is incompetent or emotional because of he age, but with age comes experience that he has not had the chance to garner yet. he is not ready yet in his own opinion and i would agree as well.

jarv loves his family, a lot - and his only family was his father and xin. i think it is important to note, jarv has a lot of love for his family for they are the only people that really see him as a person. his closest friend even had to be reminded to call him by name. so to lose the closest people to you hurts man. his dad just died. okay.

jarv’s part in turmoil - there is actually a story which occurs after the time frame of the lu/x comic ( unless they are going to say the events of the last volume cover a full month? ) which has some interesting links and i’ll summarise all that with my conclusions at the end.

so. onto the main part. why has our fair king turned from someone who sees ‘ the true strength of the Demacian people—standing together as one in defense of their homeland, no matter their differences or misgivings. ’ to ‘ Mages? . . . We should have executed them all. ’ it is shocking. even xin is shocked by how much he has seemingly flipped noting, ‘ Indeed, he knew the prince had always been troubled by Demacia’s treatment of its mages. But that was before. ’ note, xin is saying he was troubled once and these anti - magic outbursts are new. though, i will like to point out, i don’t think the outbursts in the short story or the comic are particularly anti - magic as they are anti - syl/as and anti - murderous rebellion. so from now on, i am going to work through the sections of the comic and then the short story and kind of evaluate jarv’s thoughts and feelings and what i think is happening with him. wow, i hope you like your posts long. ( oh, and i recommend turning the pages along with me since i will not be posting pictures unless it is very important to save on length )

so to begin, we first see jarv at a meeting with a mage - seeker, some council members and his father, reacting to what happened several hours ago. honestly here he is as normal, he is thinking first and foremost for the people and with a very strategical focus to his thoughts. he is trying to both reassure his own father while working to capture the murderers. truly nothing remarkable other than him being a little taken aback by his father chiding him. i can talk a long time how jarv was brought up with very zealot ideas despite the king’s best intentions but that is not for now.

next page is mostly focused on the riots outside but does show jarv’s priorities. protect my father, fight for my people. heck this is even brought up in his ( now very outdated ) voice lines ‘ for my father, the king. ’ ‘ protect the faithful. ’ also cue me getting excited they would show jarv’s actual combat armour since they have the guards all in that good shit but nah they didn’t and i am big sad. i get they set all the demacian champs to their in game stuff ( and for jarv that’s the for show / ceremonial armour ) rather than their lore stuff for accessibility but still i am sad.

and now we get to the fun stuff. wow look at jarv straight beating the shit out of people. legit knocking several people down, making someone into a kebab. the come at me stance. that face he makes when sy/las calls him princeling. so many people call him that in lore. is it even a unique insult at this point? get new material you chain gremlin you.

in the next page we do see him angry tho, at first he is controlled and stoic with his speak, not too many emotions showing on his face. but it is when he puts a threat on his father do we see his brows furrow and leave him quite angry in the last panel of this page. tho, while obvious mad at the threat on the king he is actually keeping his cool. rational thought based on what he knows of the magic syl/as has. but he is a bit ticked off. ( OH ALSO THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT PART DON’T @ ME BUT JARV IS TALLER THAN SY/LAS WHILE BENDING DOWN AND IN A FIGHTING STANCE AND SY/LAS IS UPRIGHT BY LIKE AN INCH. HE IS PROBABLY SEVERAL INCHES TALLER UPRIGHT. I STAN THIS TALL MAN. )

so the next page is very interesting, we see syl/as talk of ancient and powerful struggles then conjure fire from the pillars. so as far as i am aware this is meant to be a reference to our favourite angels but i am trying to work out when this would have been. i thought they fought in a small town which was all but destroyed and not in the capital city. it is possible that the petricite keystones were at the town and those keystones moved to where the capital would be considering their reverence of kay/le and stuff but idk. super cool tho! it might be explained in the future, or not but i think what i have there is the most rational ( or maybe they mean like various conflicts involving them but not them against each other ??). anyway, we also see jarv getting madder obvious from the last page and then the language he uses, gone from the neutral ‘ mage ‘ to negative terms such as ‘ thugs ’. so the fire heavily wounds or kills the guards and jarv jumps head long into the flames.

the next page continues with their fight which is frankly brutal but they really skimped on detail here. it is shown that jarv cut syl/as in the chest and stuff but 1) no blood and 2) it is no where to be seen later in the comic which is unfortunate. would have been cool. other things which is cool, jarv pinwheeling kay/le’s fire away. i love the dumb ways jarv is shown to use his lance in various media, just spectacular. but yeah, syl/as going for blows in calling him ignorant about the heritage he loves. cause we know how much our man loves demacia. but i think he is trying to goad him. like i said before, jarv wears his heart on his sleeve a lot. he is an emotional man, but emotions can make you sloppy.

so on the next page, we see morg’s magic and again i love this touch but who really knows how it is there. so jarv is taken down by that which is interesting because it affected him a lot more than kay/le’s? i have theories about the magics and how they affect people based on their judgements but again that’s for discussion for another post. so with the guards taken down and then their prince, syl/as finds himself victorious.

so skipping through gar/en’s bit, we next see jarv tied up and being walked ahead of some of the mages. notably he isn’t wearing his crown helm. but also, he is very calm. jarv doesn’t really fear his own death much, he has faced dying before and to him it is simply a risk a soldier faces. so he is rather calm on the walk while syl/as threatens him. though, likely also subdued by the magic from before. but he is also talking a lot of sense, this does end badly, really sy/las doesn’t get what he wants out of this venture, not really. sylas however thinks this funny and mocks him about eating rats ( which honestly i question what he actually ate because 1) idk about you but i didn’t see rats in these panels of his cell and 2) he looks very fit and healthy for a man who eats rats. personally i think they feed the prisoners but since their magic is being sapped constantly by the petricite that they likely get hungrier faster, like they are constantly exercising, and so he ate rats. but also again, lets be real, they removed jarv being tortured so he couldn’t reply ‘ well no, but i survived being tortured by noxus. i have eaten much worse. ’ ( also syl/as uses incorrect style of address here which is either an accident or an interesting hint to the next page - majesty is for kings, highness for princes ) anyway, he drags the prone jarv to the door and...

surprise. the king is already dead by the time they get there. now jarv is obviously shocked and horrified and sy/las is too but i think that is because someone is stealing his thunder and hello his plans aren’t going to plan. this is when things start going down hill for jarv’s mental state. before he was mad but controlled, jarv’s expression on this page are wild eyed. and very much lacking of any confidence he had prior. for once, the prince looks as young as he actually is, rather than acting a stoic faced prince.

now the next page is actually the one i think the artists drew the best for jarv. i really love his eyes in the first panel. jarv’s hunched posture, the looking over his shoulder and upwards, got to say i love the composition. also i didn’t mention it yet but jarv and syl/as’hair almost look the same and idk if that is intentional but i like the idea that it might have been cause it makes our fair prince look very rugged and references his position as a prisoner. anyway. but just jarv’s silence in the last panel, before he was confident and speaking and now his words are trailing off and he has nothing to say. he lost his family and the idea of mages being monsters comes to his mind here. ( also note, while i have cut this out of the image, when syl/as is asking about who killed the king the mages say it wasn’t them but possibly another mage that came with them. this is probably true since it is anarchy at the moment but also there is no blood so unlikely to have been caused by a weapon and poison doesn’t make sense since the guards were dead too. )

but that isn’t the end of it, that is for sure. syl/as lost the king to his own anarchy so he needs a new star of his show. and so jarv continues to have a bad time. he is dragged from his grieving and through the citadel ( and past some really fucked up and burnt bodies wow trying to give jarv flash backs are you? ) and here jarv is starting to have doubts about his father and his own views. ‘ my father was wrong about your kind. he thought he could make peace with you. and you murdered him. ’ jarv puts the barrier between his people and mages at this point, condemning any thought which would have allowed this as wrong. now syl/as then insists that the king could have changed this at any time but we also know the council of demacia is quite powerful itself and the king leaves it to a more democratic style of coming to decisions together and actually regrets letting them have so much power. and jarv is marched outside to be made an example of and executed.

passing over ‘lu/x being a bad ass part one’, we return to jarv being cuffed to this really fancy chair. i like it, but also how extra can you be sy/las. anyway, as this page goes on we can really see the prince’s loss of confidence and despairing states. he starts strong when syl/as claims he has been complacent on things ( finally confirmation that he hasn’t cause riot wont tell me anything !!!! ) and he denies that neither he or his father have, and syl/as knows nothing about either of them. but his words trail off, he is stuttering through his words, head bowed, skin clammy.

what he is talking about is 1) his backstory where he fought noxian invaders of demacia’s outer borders and allied lands, 2) meeting with exiles and we know in demacia their exiles tend to be mages as magic use is given imprisonment or exile - this quite happily aligns with my own head canons that he meets with them to help provide safe passage and resources similar to j3 to the noxians in his and xin’s story - 3) now we can assume he is talking about the same person from before in the earlier comic but he is really dodging around a name. i’m inclined to think shyv right now based on the ‘not so different’ so implying similar but not mage but magical creature. but really we don’t know. though that’s cute. but syl/as simply laughs this off, deeming any effort they have made and mocking his relationship. anyway, jarv just looks really sad and upset man.

and so the next page goes on and sy/las is calling for the crowds opinion on if he should be executed. some ( likely the rebels ) say yes and some ( likely town folk ) say no and beg for someone to save him. syl/as of course listens to his own people only and takes execute as the option, and starts firing up the mages on that. some call for him to be bled ( oh i see this is where they wanted to put the noxian blood letting torture. they got rid of it to be put here i see. ) and another to behead him. and up until the end, jarv simply seems like he is simply given in, accepted his death. eyes closed and almost willing it over. he has already had to deal with one drawn out (near) death before, he doesn’t particularly want another. he only seems perturbed when syl/as tries to force him to eat a rat before he dies. again he is wide eyed, and very disgusted by the prospect.

he is already in a state where his father has been murdered, he has been pulled away from him and forced to march past the magic warped remains of his people both soldiers, councillors and innocents, his death is being made into a sceptical and now he is also being humiliated. also important to note is that he is alone in all of this, his uncle is nowhere to be found, his father is dead, when forced into an arranged marriage with someone he considered a trusted friend he was given no answer but abandonment, and his two friends are no where to be seen. that mixed with the people he loves so dearly gathered to watch him die and some even calling for his death. he is hurting really badly, and if he didn’t want to be sick at the sight of burnt bodies he now wants to be sick at the thought of eating a live rat.

and now we have ‘lu/x being bad ass part two’ and ga/ren rushes in to save them both. the comic doesn’t say and what exactly happens next is likely a flash back at the start of the next comic as i believe the next comic occurs after the short story, as it was released now and not then. but i imagine two things occur in jarv’s mind during this event of him being saved ( which he know he is ). 1) gar/en is right. he can always trust ga/ren. we know his friend is vocal in his dislike of magic and belief in the laws in place, so jarv after these events probably takes to leaning on this view point as it comes from on of the only people he has left and feels safe with him after all he has gone through.

2) can lu/x really be trusted? jarv isn’t blind nor deaf. he heard syl/as and lux talk about them used to being friends, and that he used her to kill people. he doesn’t know about her magic i don’t think, but could clue it out from that maybe, and it is unsure if he knows her involvement with syl/as but he now knows she wouldn’t even deny the proposed arranged marriage to his face and she was apparently friends at one point with the one who lead to his father’s death. this cuts him a bit. ( also i see again, the trying to insert jarv lore into here? with gar/en saving him? interesting but not nearly as emotion jerking as gar/en finding his armour blood soaked and empty next to an executioners post with the pin signifying them as the closest shit in each other’s lives in the bloody mud c’: )

now, we do not know much until the events of the aftermath short story. this story, told through xin’s point of view, is honestly very depressing and provides a lot more focus on jarv’s collapsing mental state. while in the comic he is hurt and distressed, struggling with the idea of his own views on the matter and then the significant pain cause to him by magic and the possible danger it could cause his people, aftermath shows us a prince who has been stewing on it for the night. occurring the day after, it is told to us he does not look like he has slept and his emotions are raw at the surface. i suggest reading the full story but i will only be talking about jarv’s mentions in this.

so our encounter with jarv in this short story occurs with xin finding him at the training fields. he is described as already breathing with exertion and drenched with sweat, a suggestion that he has been doing this for some time now, and his emotions wild and clear. he is also attacking wildly at the dummy, very much venting but also showing us he isn’t poised or in control of himself. yet when he speaks, calling xin uncle, it seems uncertain. i surely read it with a tired and tentative voice in mind. yet, after a pause, his emotions re-flare and he becomes angry again (something which happens several times over the course of the short story). he speaks coldly, harsh, trying to find someone to take the blame for the events, shifting rapidly from seeing xin as family to seeing him as a simple bodyguard ( something from the previous flash backs show the later of being untrue, and that xin is extremely close to jarv ). i also see this as him struggling with his own thoughts and passions, a war of heart and mind - xin being family vs xin being his father’s bodyguard, in extension we have seen mages murdered my father vs not all mages are guilty, i hate them vs i hate them all.

the prince then decides the best way to interrogate xin is by also trying to vent his frustrations with sparing. in jarv’s short story ‘ ebony, ivory, jasper ‘ we see him as a very level headed tactician which is controlled and ultimately able to see the right plays and choices in things where others can not. this is not that jarv. he is literally striking first, thoughts and questions later. xin mentions he is also not taking his strikes lightly, that he is swinging hard enough to break bone, something one wouldn’t do unarmoured or with someone you care about. he is pacing like a stressed animal, gripping his weapon like it is only lifeline, and forcing xin to fight him like it is his only reprise. another point made which shows jarv’s very altered state of mind is how xin also notes his form is sloppy, jarv is a good fighter, one of the kingdoms best, yet he observes there to be ‘ little finesse to the strikes ’ and that ‘ at any other time he would have berated the prince for his poor form—he was thinking only of attack, and leaving himself open for ripostes and counter-strikes ’. now since we know xin trained him and considers this poor form for him, it is likely jarv is definitely not of these traits normally, something further confirmed when he notes these are something he wouldn’t do now or take advantage because he sees them as caused by his justified anger.

skipping past the first flash back, jarv continues to press xin and eventually just tosses his weapon away when he doesn’t get an answer he wants. the frustration and anger is palpable. the prince isn’t the kind of person to discard something so carelessly, to be so disrespectful as to throw something of his to the ground. jarv has been raised to have the ideas of honour and respect and personal value and virtue as being very important, and the disrespect of tossing one of his weapons, staring at it while someone else picks it up, isn’t something jarv in his stable mind would do. yet he does such and grabs his lance - a sharp and deadly weapon in comparison to his blunted sword - and xin protests using them because jarv is unarmoured. now i have not heard anyone cover this exact fact but i want to talk about it for a bit, xin is armoured but jarv is not. jarv is attacking and not caring about his defence. and now he is making xin fight him with their actual sharpened weapons while only xin is armoured. either of these weapons could kill him, even his own by his own hand if he isn’t careful as noted by xin. and just, he doesn’t care if he gets hurt.

i think this exemplifies one fact about jarv, the first fact i mentioned above. he experiences a great amounts of survivor guilt in the time he failed his troops as a youth and now he sees himself as failing his people and his father by not saving them. he couldn’t even beat syl/as. and now he has to live with that fact, and very alone with it now. he is both trying to find someone else to blame to share in his own self torment or at least have someone either take him out of his misery or give him a punishment that jarv thinks is fitting for his failure. and i think perhaps, while not explicitly noted, xin acknowledges it ‘ “You are not armored,” . . . “I don’t care,” . . . Reluctantly, his heart heavy, he retrieved his spear and moved back out into the open area in the center of the hall. ’ after all, it was xin in jarv’s earliest lore which remarked on the prince’s altered mental state as one of the people that knew him best, i would say that perhaps this is our new lore equivalent. and perhaps bring another down with him. ( jarv has always had a slight discard for his own life - see his quotes and his colour story - but this is quite excessive. the others can be seen as brave, this is different )

one more flash back later, they are fighting and we know jarv is not holding back. none of the fighting right now is casual, he is serious and very angry. this is contrasted with memories of xin with jarv and how jarv once idolised heros and here he is wielding the weapon in a very non-hero-like way. and yet drakebane itself moves in conjunction with his own actions like a perfect extension of his body. we are told that drakebane ( as obvious by its name ) was forged by the great weapon smith orlon, the same who made pop/py’s hammer, in order to combat a powerful frostdrake named maelstrom and her brood. perhaps digging into it too much, but i do see in essence that while the sword was not working for him yet his lance remains faithful is by his conviction in its original purpose. this lance was created to slay great beings of magic, to kill dragons, for the great kings of demacia to wield against the mages of the runewars. and this fits the mindset this king currently has.

another flashback passed we come back to a xin who is facing a new set of concerns, before he was worried about fighting the prince with dangerous weapons while jarv are unarmoured and now he is concerned that maybe the prince getting horribly wounded is not the only issue. here we see another drastic flip in jarv, he would never hurt someone he cared about, he is especially known to put himself in harms way before anyone else. and yet. he cut xin and xin is reasonably concerned but also unafraid. while it is only explicitly stated that xin thinks there is balance in dying here but it surely seems jarv also has this opinion. they both seem to think death is what they deserve. yet ( as angry as jarv is ) he doesn’t to want kill xin as much as xin wishes not to harm him. he stops as the blade ghosts xin’s skin, begging xin for answers but upon receiving it ( if not by xin’s confession but by his own reasoning ) he just deflates. he works out xin was sent away and so he is left as the only one at fault for ‘failing’. xin was fulfilling his duty, while he failed in his.

instead, jarv is just remains tired, tired and grieving and alone. through the next two flashbacks and jarv’s reaction to them we learn the late king was a stubborn man about what he believed in and that he often put his work ahead of himself and his family despite his love for his son. and just as quickly did jarv sober did his temper re-flare, upon hearing about the rebellion again he declares that they should have killed all the mage prisoners instead of imprisoning them. xin is shocked by this for he remarks that once jarv used to be concerned with the treatment of mages in demacia like his father but acknowledges that this was before what they did to him and that his anger in the moment is justified. but he still reminds him that his father wouldn’t agree with that, as he wouldn’t have once agreed with that. here it is key to see one of the great hurts in him right now is he feels both a failure and he feels betrayed, he snaps back ‘ and they killed him. ’ the lightshields had been working towards making things better for mages and in jarv’s angry thoughts and he feels betrayed by the ones they were working to help, he feels as if his good nature was taken advantage of and hurt by those he cared about. ( also note, canonically, execution is a murderer’s punishment. killing another is punishable by death and this is shown in some stories. )

just as quickly as this outburst begins does it end however, his fire dies and he sheds any mask of princely facade and anger, revealing he is simply lost, scared, sad and confused again. he grips feebly to support, and weeps. likely not the first time given his earlier description, but likely the first true time where he might realise the full emotion and weight of the situation. and he tries to hold strongly to it, he doesn’t have confidence or stability so he is all but begging xin to be it for him. when he is told that xin sees his life as forfeit, jarv grips at strings to keep xin with him. while desperate it is still very controlled though, controlled and thought out. begging wouldn’t work, but xin’s sense of duty would. and once xin starts to relent, he asks formally, appealing to the formal requirements. and once that digs at him, he appeals to the side that is his uncle, for he needs him as much as his kingdom. strategic in all things but it also shows his reliance on xin emotionally in this point. i strongly believe, if xin denied him he would crumple and things would be a lot worse. even if xin thinks he looks more composed after his breakdown.

and the short story ends with xin accompanying jarv to a council meeting. xin remarks at how controlled jarv is compared to his outburst, likely due to two things: 1) he had his outburst and is now not bottling up his emotions as much and is able to control himself better, and 2) jarv is required to look regal. xin notes that demacia needs a strong leader right now and jarv likely knows that just as well ( which will play a part in his next actions ) and so is portraying himself in such a way regardless of how his emotions might still be. i think this is shown well when he asks to see the note xin was to deliver, the contents of which anger him. it is a reminder of his older self, of his old ambitions and everything that he lost. and so he wrings its neck like he has to his old self and what he wishes to do to those that caused this. this shocks and disturbs xin and he is concerned. it is also important to note that the mageseekers are trained to combat magic so keeping them with greater powers, he increases arrests while the note wished to limit them, is advantageous to his wants.

after this point lu/x 5 will fill but we don’t know much of it so we shall skip over it for now. lastly, we have turmoil, a short story i really suggest reading which takes place one month after these events. as not much is relevant other than a few details and the laws of stone i will summarise. in turmoil, it follows a group of demacian soldiers as they are sent to escort a foreign dignitary to the capital, a mage from arbormark called arjen. the soldiers are uneasy with this and some wish that they could be out hunting the rebellions in the woods instead. two mageseekers accompany them as is now required by the laws. as they escort the mage they run into trouble. fearing the villages of the town wish to hurt the mage they are escorting, the soldiers form a tight perimeter and try to escape through a passage and a building. however, it is revealed the mob is not mad about the mage but one of the mageseekers with them. this mageseeker, under the new laws of stone was made to remove a young girl who he had been working with prior, he laments he didn’t want to remove her for she was innocent and he wouldn’t have required to prior but the laws have changed to become stricter and so all mages are considered guilty. the mother of the young mage tries to kill him but she is talked down but the crossbow still fires in a shot which would have killed one of the more vocal mage hating soldiers but arjen carefully uses his magic to deflect the bullet with only that soldier and the main character noticing. the mage hating soldier is conflicted and says nothing, implied to be having a turn of heart. the mother tells the mob to disperse and the envoy continues to the capital.

now from this we learn a couple things: 1) is is now illegal to BE a mage. prior to sy/las it was only illegal to USE magic and so benign mages were actually educated on how to control themselves at times and we treated more of a sickness at other. but now you’re life is a crime. 2) some of the mageseekers themselves are uncomfortable with this. while mageseekers have often been portrayed as horrific people, it is shown in this story as being more a magic focused police service which holds some corruption in higher ranks but also employs people who simply want demacia kept safe and don’t agree that magic is bad but rather bad mages are bad people. 3) that demacia has a lot of allies due to their defence of realms beyond their boarders and also that they understand demacia’s place and don’t condemn them for it. they understand the position of demacia based on its history. 4) these allies are sending who they think will help advise the new king of demacia best including mages and jarv is NOT denying them entry, which shows a willingness to listen which is a step beyond his much more aggressive stance one month earlier. 5) the punishment for being a mage is exile or imprisonment. currently the prisons in demacia are overloaded and there are prison camps in the outskirts. also exile is seen as one of the worst punishments in demacia. and 6) the rebellion is being hunted by the demacian army.

so, after all this, what can be conclude? it is obvious jarv is GREATLY affected by the barrage of death around him. his pre-existing survivor’s guilt is further exasperated by the failure to protect his father and those he swore to and he feels greatly betrayed by many people in his life ( lu/x for claiming to be a friend of the one who killed all these people, the mages he was trying to help striking when he is most vulnerable ). he is greatly alone with losing many friends and family and others being seemingly absent from the events, giving him only those with views which would increase his own anti-mage sentiment if he listens to them. he is lost in his grief and his depression and his anger, his empathetic nature stretched to its breaking point and he has no respite. in the end, jarv is doing what he thinks will protect his people, note he likely does not think mages among his people anymore, and will do anything for their safety. but he is also trying to be reasonable by reaching out to his allied nations as a new king and accepting the advise of mages on these topics. he isn’t murderous, but he is hurt and alone and his actions in his hurt are making him more alone. it’s a vicious cycle demacia has always been in, and now our dear newly crowned king has fallen into it.

a little extra: i do think there is a bit of jarv’s lore MISSING given the situation with shyv. i hope this will shed light on what he was doing and how that also affected him before this happened. i also hope they eventually show us jarv being redeemed for this is FAR from the jarv that the bio shows us on his page and i think that is his true self. just, if i can recall, someone i know once said at your lowest you become your opposite and i think this is true here.

#wow um okay #thats long #like 7 k words long #kudos to you if you read it all #its just me throwing out all my thoughts on the events to read #also not going to lie #this was so long #i didn't edit it at all #sorry for the grammar errors #about /#— out of character `

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official-michael-afton · 5 years

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I agree with your thing about getting William antis and stans to chill. The real issue is that you can’t glorify him because he has done some REALLY horrible things, but it’s also annoying to me how people can make him a homophobic and racist simply because Sock Cawthorn hasn’t given him nearly enough chractization so people can be spouting off these headcanons and making saying you like the character as a ANTAGONIST (and not agreeing with any of his actions) a bad thing. Please, just chill guys

Sup fam it's 7 in the morning and I'm half asleep while typing this hoping that our REALLY shitty hotel WiFi will post this soooo *finger guns*

Tbh I just- my whole thing is like- some people REALLY like William Afton as a character. Some people REALLY love hating on William Afton. Both of these people exist, so like... Get Over It. Y'all can co-exist.

Yeah don't romanticize his actions but also... He's a fictional character so you're not romanticizing him just by liking him. Like one example of romanticizing I've seen is when I saw someone go "Well I think William is canonically a good father who was actually really nice to his kids, that's why Michael wants to find him!" Like... Noooo Michael shows clear malice in his voice when talking about his Dad and even shows some signs of abuse and neglect in his actions... Y'see, THATS romanticizing because you're trying to downplay his canonical character and trying to "prove" he's actually a good guy just cuz ya like him. What ISNT romanticizing is "Oh yeah smelly bastard, love him! I hc him as [insert-identity-or-trait-here]!" Because like- you can like a fictional character but still realize they're a piece of SHIT in canon. Same with AUs and RP blogs like- it's okay if you want a William who ISNT being horrible every waking moment of his life, because you're not trying to downplay who he CANONICALLY is.

It's kinda like Disney villains! We KNOW they're bad and never try to argue that, but we can still like them! We don't have to spend every waking moment of our lives going on and on about how much we hate their guts just to prove that we're #Unproblematic. High key this is the first fandom I've been in where even liking the villain puts you in the same category as the people who try to justify their canonical actions.

Just..

Some shite I've seen stans do: "Why is your William ugly do you hate William fans or something", "*Continually make sexual jokes on my blog despite me saying this is a PG13 blog*", "I think William was canonically a good person!", "*insist that William is hot despite people(coughvsemilycough) consistently asking people to stop sending those asks*", okay one time I found someone liking a lot of my posts tagged William and I went to their blog out of curiosity and found that they made... It was literally a yandere-like post. Swear to God they- not gonna put what it says here but it was straight out of a yandere character like wHY, "William's actions are justifiable because [literally any excuse]!"

Some shite I've seen antis do: "You're not allowed to hc William as anything other than a cishet white twink(even tho Will was canonically chubby) and if you do you're a racist/LGBTphobe/etc!!!", "If you aren't spending every waking moment of your life despising William Afton then you're a stan how dare you", "If you ship Willry and/or Purplephone I'm going to actually threaten you and encourage physical violence towards you.", "Oh, you like William Afton as a character? HEY EVERYONE ADD THIS USER TO YOUR BLOCKLIST LMAO", not really William related but I swear I've seen quite a few exlcusionist ideals in the anti community, also I've noticed a few "[character] is clearly [identity](even tho Sock Cotton never gave any characters canon confirmed identities) so if you're not drawing [character] as [identitiy] then fuck you!!!, I could make a whole post on why Fanon is dangerous but that's another day-, oh I've also been afraid that any time I'd post a William I'd either get anon hate or a callout post haha,,, Still afraid of that,,,

Shite I've seen them BOTH do with each other: "If you even LOOK at [insert-user-here] you're being added to our blocklist", being absolutely vicious in referring to each other and having no respect for people with different opinions, encouraging violence/pettiness... just being absolute SHIT role models like wtf aren't some of you supposed to be 20+ why are you picking such immature fights with teenagers, taking "I like/hate William" as a personal attack on themself, The poor "your fave is" blogs... The poor, poor "your fave is" blogs... I swear it's almost a comedic PATTERN to see "William Afton from fnaf is [insert-thing-here]" Anti:"UMMM ACTUALLY WILL IS A CHILD MURDERER TAKE THAT POST DOWN" Stan:"hAH FUCK YOU IM GONNA MAKE MY OWN POST WITH UR FLAG SINCE U DELETED IT UWUWUWUWU", Just... I've never seen a fandom be so vicious WITHIN the fandom- like I've seen those for Vs against a fandom but I've never seen such animosity IN the fandom itself, like... Seriously are you guys Okay

But yeah I rambled for a long time so enjoy this post of my frustrations towards my own community sbscahxmfb

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itsswimmingtragedycollection · 5 years

Text

The Dumpster Fire that is ‘The Order’

First of all, why is his show labeled as a horror? My humble guess is that it was intended for younger audiences?? I genuinely wanna know. Because, even if it was for teens, some blood and a few dead bodies does not a horror make. Secondly, what the fuck? And I truly mean that. I mean, the idea itself doesn’t sound bad at all. A college student joins a secret society and finds out his supposedly evil dad is the head of it? He’s also in a werewolf club that fights that same secret society? Sign me tf up. But the execution just takes a really weird turn. From the get go, you kinda aren’t sure if the show wants to be takes seriously or not. And that question is never answered. Literally in the opening scene the letter changes from ‘we regret to inform you’ to ‘congratulations’ in front of Jack’s eyes and he has absolutely no reaction whatsoever to that peculiar development, which kind of screams ‘not to be taken seriously’ similarly to the whole ‘My evil dad killed my mom so naturally I’m gonna join a secret society, become someone important and powerful and eventually use that power to fight him.’ Who on earth plots a revenge along those lines? But then a second later, the plot falls back in the supernatural drama category. To top it all off there’s a whole lot of ‘woke humor’ which most of the time comes across as cringe worthy edginess we’re all happy we outgrew after HS. But, even if you could somehow get pas the not-so-subtle jumps from complete absurdity to realism, there’s nothing else to hold on to. No character, no relationship, no plot line we’re offered is strong enough to pull us in. In fact. one of the most annoying things about The Order is that basically no character has a personality. I am 8 episodes deep (and I don’t intend to finish it because that’s how boring it is) and I still don’t know anything substantial about anyone. And can we take a second to just look at Jake’s relationship with Alyssa? What even is that? Are they flirting are they not, does he really like her or is she a means to an end, is she into him or his dad, why are they kissing and why does it look so uncomfortable, did they just cast two people with the least chemistry on purpose or is bad writing/directing? So many questions. If we draw a parallel between Jack’s progress with her and him being on board with the wolves, it makes even less sense. He needs how many episodes to decide to try and kiss her, but when it comes to dedicating your whole life to fighting bad magic, you go from ‘no way, you’re all insane, you made me kill an innocent man’ to ‘I pledge my life to the cause’ within two seconds. Speaking of things that make no sense, I have to mention Jack’s ‘friendship’ with Amir. Don’t get me wrong, I get that we meet people and think to ourselves how that could grow into a beautiful friendship, but acting as if someone you just met is really your friend, and that odd flashback to like one beer they shared, when Amir was found dead, is just... I don’t even know what to say. The Order as an organization is equally puzzling. Who are they? Why are they? What’s the purpose, what’s the goal, the mission? I can’t settle for just a group of magic users who follow strict hierarchies but kinda all look out for themselves and don’t really like each other that much. And occasionally sacrifice goats. And change people’s memories.(And they can revive a golem and ask it who made it, but the fact that Jack, who found out about magic like yesterday, sabotaged their spell somehow goes right over their magical heads. ) But essentially it’s for the good of the whole wide world.????????????? And the masks are what makes me think an 8yo came up with the whole concept. If you thought the werewolf knights are any less confusing, think again. They hear noises when ‘bad magic’ happens and solve it by killing anything that moves. Heroes. Also, how do they know what they are supposed to do if they refuse to read anything? I mean, that’s not how a secret society, since that’s more or less what they are, works. Someone has to tell you, show you, teach you. Sure, you have the wolves inside you, but if you don’t know they speak a certain language, it’s fairly certain you don’t know a whole lot. And why is there only four of you? How can four knights take down an organization as big as The Order? Especially since their preferred method is violent murder, something that is not very subtle and does not go unnoticed for long, which basically ensures the rage of the entire Order falling on their heads before they even begin their so called mission. Once again: ????????????????? And what even does ‘bad magic’ mean? The term is so vague and abstract that I have a hard time understanding how can you form an organization that fights something barely defined. All magic can potentially be bad magic. What are the guidelines here? Help me comprehend. The show also has a very odd relationship towards death. One can sort of ‘forgive’ the wizards and the wolves for being chill about it, but if someone was targeting and butchering people on your campus, wouldn’t you be at least a bit worried? We don’t see any students panicking, we saw one police officer, there were no measures taken by the college, unless you count turning Amir’s death into a bike accident. And just when you start getting used to being casual about it, Jack has a whole meltdown over killing someone the first time he turned. And then also his professor. But even that meltdown is not very convincing, since most of what he does is just screaming ‘I KILLED AN INNOCENT MAN!!!’ into the void, without a much deeper attempt to deal with that. Which is why I don’t get why the show even made an issue out of it. I also don’t get Jack’s grandpa. Like not even a little bit. Because if you think about it, it’s not * that * unimaginable that a little boy would come up with the idea of joining a secret society to avenge his mother’s death, but it is * very * odd to imagine an old ass grown up who not only thinks it’s a good idea to direct your whole young life towards revenge, but encourages it to a point of making a detailed plan on how to do that, and basically spends your entire childhood grooming you to become a little rage fueled bundle of psychological damage. All of this is only scratching the surface of the mess that is The fucking Order, because the show is a giant entangled coil of nonsense and I barely knew where to start. It’s fair to say that the biggest buzzkill is failure to pick a direction and stick with it. You don’t have to look that close to see some of the influences. The biggest one being, obviously, The Magicians, followed by some Teen Wolf, there’s even elements from Scream Queens, a bit of Buffy, a pinch of the Craft, etc. Almost like someone decided to look up successful shows in the supernatural/fantasy/horror genre and just smash them all up together in hopes of making something appealing to the largest audience possible. Personally, as a * very big * fan of before mentioned The Magicians, I get the feeling that Netflix wanted to make something that could rival it, but better. Because TM is, dare I say so, one of the best, if not the best, shows of the decade. I honestly have not seen anything like it, that has the same platform, in literally a decade. If you have, please let me know.

Whit the BDE, edgy, but in a good way, humor, strong political views, strong female characters, fun twist and turns that actually do manage to mix absurd with normal life in a magical, no pun intended, way, sexuality representation, but not in a ‘we just want to please the gays so they give us the views’ way, great male characters we wish we saw more of, compelling character development and so on. Tho the most likable aspect of the series is probably the take on overdone story lines, where they twist the narrative just enough for it to become actually relatable. We all are tired of super special chosen ones who save the world because they are soo special and specially chosen by gods to save the world and all the dumb boring unspecial people with their pure hearts and strong characters. And also find true love. You see attempts at this within The Order on every turn, except that it doesn’t work nearly as well for them, precisely because they went for that AND MORE. More wouldn’t even be a bad thing if it was’t so all over the place that it just comes off as ‘WE WANT EVERYONE TO LIKE THIS, GIVE US ALL THE VIEWS, ALL OF THEM.’ I am very much inclined to think this is what happened, considering other stuff Netflix has put out there. (Mostly referring to endlessly stupid shit like YOU, which only has the intention of being controversial and attention grabbing, for the views. Tho they do have some fun shit too, don’t get me wrong.) So I guess what I’m trying to say is, the though of making something like TM, is not a bad one, I’m all for it, but you actually have to put a shit ton more imagination into it if you want it to work out. But that’s just my opinion.

#the order #netflix #jake manley #sarah grey #the magicians #teen wolf #syfy #hale appleman #jason ralph #social commentary

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forbidden-celestia-lore · 5 years

Note

so what's the haunted house then

well, thank you for asking, person who was definitely not sending this ask from their work computer!

first, bit of backstory: off the tail end of some Wizard Shenanigans, we followed a rider from the Whispering way to this tiny little fishing village, which has been experiencing a bit of Bad Luck for the last few months. The mayor personally welcomed us, hiring us to figure out what the fuck is up with the local church, one of a sea god, supposedly. We (read: Thela) broke into investigated this church, found… some headless bodies, a chest that smells like fish, some freaky ass carvings, a bloody altar, slugs that posses you and make your head explode (remember this one), and a giant spell casting crab monster. Suprise! it’s a cult. We go in the next day at noon like the chumps we are and get ambushed, killing a bunch of the priest/cultists, and finding some more Loot. We tell the mayor, and he tells us that the head priest disappeared into the woods a few days ago, heading off to some mansion thing. We want our money, and we may as well finish the job, so we pack up and follow.

Got all that? Great.

So we’re heading out to this random house in the woods, right, and my idea is that the head priest is part of the Whispering Way, cause we found the rider we were following headless in the slug room (don’t ASK me how that works), and that he was going out with a bunch of local contacts or smth to do Secret Plotting. So we get there, actually we haven’t really even “gotten” there yet, as the map hadn’t even been drawn when my dad asks us for a perception check, which we all of course fail. Or we think we’ve failed, because all he tells us is that we see a ripple on the nearby lake, putting us all on edge. A fitting start!

So we’re at this house, and I don’t think we’ve ever entered through the front door in our lives, which means that we pick the wing closest to the path we came in on and sneak up to it. I’m pretty sure my dad was internally screaming (or laughing, depending) at this point, because when we got in (undetected I might add!) and kinda sorta relaxed, and Jafar sat on the fucking couch a SWARM OF TICKS POURED OUT OF THE FUCKING COUCH. TICKS. So Celestia screams (literally, I had her do that canonically, would have totally ruined our stealth had there been anyone around to care) and runs out of the room, ducks through the first doorway she sees and immediately starts changing into her cultist disguise, in case someone did hear her and is coming. Thela climbs into the air using her immovable rods, Obezyana and Krono (who were by the door) run back outside after setting Jafar, who is now covered in ticks, on fire. And then from outside they do it again. And maybe one more time I’m not sure, but fire was the only thing we had that would hurt those ticks, until Obezyana had the legit bright idea to use color spray, which stuns every critter in a certain area. My dad was gracious enough to let him warn Thela, so she wasn’t affected, but the ticks were STUNNED and we LEFT as quickly as we could.

We regrouped in the main entry hall, Celestia now in her Whispering Way garb, and decided to look at the second wing before going into the main hall. All that was in that wing was an old storage room, where a fight of some sort had taken place recently, and we found a box that used to have a statue in it (the statue had been stolen from a museum, and we’d had to prove it wasn’t the beast Simon who stole it, but the Whispering Way, so we Knew they were here). We also found a horse! Clearly the horse the Whispering Way agent had ridden, but they’d been there for a few days without food or water or anything. We fed it, watered it, and made our way to the main hall.

On the map, the house was drawn as one big circle in the middle, representing the main hall, with two rectangles coming off of it at a little more than a 90* angle. It turns out that the house was constructed this way because the main support beams for the central structure were a fucking druid circle, creepy ass alter included. We actually found a secret compartment on the Cursed Altar that had a Big seed in it, which we did Not touch. At which point and actual literal Giant came through a door on the other side of the hall and asked us what we were doing. I, being the diplomat of the group, told everyone to shut up and pretended I was supposed to be there, can’t you see I’m part of your cult (which I wasn’t but I didn’t know that)? This sufficiently confused the giant, letting us march past him, except then we had to act like we knew what we were doing which meant that we went through the first door we saw, and of course it was the one with the Head Priest behind it. Thankfully he was merely a pathetic spellcaster (I say, a spellcaster), so we were able to subdue him in two rounds and render him unconscious in like, three. Except!!! Surprise!!!!! He’d been possessed by one of the slugs!!!! And his fucking head exploded into tentacles!!!! Celestia screamed and scrambled backward. Thela jumped. Obezyana took a step backward. Jafar screamed and tried to shove them back into his fucking neck.

We may have panicked a little.

Eventually (and surprisingly quickly) by doing the combat equivalent of hitting him over the head with a baseball bat and screaming we were able to kill whatever the Fuck he’d become, except!!! Another surprise!!!!! He exploded AGAIN!!!!! This time into more slugs!!!!!! Six of them!!!!!!! What fun!!!!!!! Kill me!!!!!!

Turns out arrows work really well on those bastards, which is great because it meant that Obezyana was able to shoot like three all at once while Jafar smashed another one or two, but three of them slimed away out the open window into the woods.

“OH NO YOU FUCKING DON’T” said Obezyana, leaping over the balcony railing and running off into the woods after them, the speedy bastards.

“Let’s burn this place to the ground” said Thela thoughtfully. “Great idea but let’s loot if first” said Celestia, greedily. “NO” said literally everyone, smartly. “But MONEY” said Celestia with her singular braincell, running off down the hall and opening the first door she found.

Now TO BE FAIR, she didn’t like, fling it open. She may be careless and greedy, but she’s not stupid. Good thing too, cause behind that door was a library, half collapsed and rotted away, inhabited by a pair of bloodthirsty ghosts! Thela had wanted to leave, but once she knew there were undead there she was obligated to at least try and help them leave, for Pharasma reasons. So she stayed behind with Jafar while Celestia was like “OKAY GREAT LET’S KNOCK THIS HOUSE OUT AS FAST AS POSSIBLE I’LL JUST RUN AHEAD” and powerwalked into the next room.

The room right next to the Ghost library was actually an empty bedroom, excepting a cradle and a mobile made of seashells hanging above it. There was no draft, but when she had to roll a perception check and it moved when Celestia opened the door. She didn’t go in.

The room after THAT was actually more of a fancy hallway, with a desk in the middle of it, looking away from some stunning views from the floor to ceiling windows behind it. THIS time Celestia actually did good on her perception check, and she was able to notice (and identify!) the yellow powder covering the desk as a type of mold that fucking EXPLODES into a POISONOUS CLOUD when disturbed!! Because what ELSE would this house have!! NORMAL dangers??? don’t be ridiculous (still tried to open it tho)

But after deciding aGIANST that, she went to the door at the other end of the hall room, because Celestia’s completionism knows no bounds. This entire time, Thela and Jafar had been dealing with the ghosts, and I don’t remember their bit very well? I think I wasn’t paying attention (or it was literally happening concurrently with my little adventure, whoops), but the gist of it was that the ghosts were Not up for conversation and FLEW at the pair of them, and Thela slammed the door in their faces and walked quickly on over to Celestia. So when Celestia opened the door at the other end of the hall, which will now be referred to as The Bedroom Door, Thela was there too, to help her out! Which was good! For reasons to be explained!

Behind The Bedroom Door was, well, a bedroom obviously, but it was. Hm. Literally cursed? It was dark, with a large, blood stained bed, and the ornate carving of a ship on a storm tossed sea above it carved into, just, cut to pieces. Someone had carved “THE PACT HAS BEEN BROKEN” into this fuckin ruined bed in this ruined house, and I think Celestia could see… things. The shadows were moving, or wrong, or something, but it meant that she did NOT want to go in. Thela, however, could be convinced by loot, and since she has a stupid high stealth snuck into the room to try and get into the attic.

So part of the fun of Pathfinder, or any ttrpg really, is that not only do you get to roleplay, you get to act and see what the Universe thinks of your decision. So when Thela rolled very, very high, it really added to the experiance that my dad (the DM) sighed with relief before describing the room. +31 stealth! I’ve got the second highest at +16! Sage rolled REALLY HIGH! SIGHED with RELIEF!!

The, things, that had such a high perception, were… not, dogs. They were large, shadowy, quadrupedal, with long, long thin legs and mouths full of teeth. Glowing eyes. And when you looked at them, you could feel your mind… twisting. Thela had to roll stealth again. A little farther into the room. Then she noticed that they weren’t… they were completely visible (well. no. they never were.) but they weren’t standing in the room. She could see them as if there was nothing in the way, but they were also very clearly standing outside of the second story bedroom. She signed this to Celestia (they both know sign), succeeded her final stealth check and BOOKED IT upstairs and away from the not-dogs. (here’s a drawing I did of them, if you’d like to look)

Celestia went downstairs, while Thela went upstairs to the attic. She found a book up there! Called smth like Non Euclidean Geometry. Written in Abysmal. Fun!

She also found the smashed corpse of a Whispering Way cultist, in a crater, and realized it must have been dropped from a very high height, which didn’t make sense considering there was only open sky above her oh my god what the fuck is that. SURPRISE!! I GIANT FUCKING FLYING BIRD DRAGON REPTILE GRIFFIN BUT NOT THING!!! IT REGULARLY EATS ELEPHANTS AS LIGHT SNACKS!!! AND OBEZYANA IS OUTSIDE!!!!!

anyway I’m gonna add the next bit in a reblog because this is getting long and tumblr doesn’t let me save this as a draft so this is all on my clipboard, making me nervous.

#campaign chaos #the haunted house

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