#and breaking them

[platypusisnotonfire]

I can keep booping but I’m at zeros across the board this is so cool

#I love finding the limits of things #and breaking them #currently my opened tabs on Firefox reads as infinity #love that for me

[doom-dreaming]

I feel a strange, complicated kind of grief for all the things I've never been part of because I didn't want to jump on the so-called bandwagon at the time. And the irony is: I hate being left out. So why didn't I want to be part of the community surrounding something when I had the chance to be and knew, deep down, that I would have enjoyed it? Why do I feel like I can't experience something once "the moment" has passed, but also never wanted to be part of "the moment" in the first place?

What has burdened me with such a gnawing hunger for control that I feel like I have to be the one leading the charge and that I can't be seen enjoying something if I wasn't the first one there? It's an extension of perfectionism, this idea that I can't be witnessed making a mistake or the image I've curated for myself will be ruined. But what put the idea in my head that enjoying something "at the wrong time" is a mistake at all? Why do I even think there are right and wrong times to enjoy things?

What has poisoned me to the point of seeing enjoyment in something as shameful or regrettable? Why am I unable to love and talk about things the way I used to? Without forcing myself to. Without trying too hard. Why does it have to be either a performance or silence? Why can't I just exist.

Why am I so afraid of being "too much" and at the same time, filled with a sickening desire to be a monolith in the lives of those around me? Why do I feel like I need to be everything? Why do I need to be the entire smothering quilt instead of a single part of the beautiful patchwork keeping you warm? Why do I hold onto things white-knuckled, with gritted teeth and tears in my eyes, afraid of losing them, when I never really allow myself to have them in the first place?

#poems for my therapist #not really a poem. #the answer to all of these questions is of course The Trauma(tm) #of shouldering expectations and continually falling short #of being told i could do better #of being praised for my obedience #of being 'the perfect child' #of being emotionally punished for getting too close to someone #and not knowing how to handle them #and breaking them #and injuring myself on the shards in my hands #of being emotionally punished for keeping my distance because of that #a quiet child is idolized #a quiet adult has something wrong with her

[tariah23]

The manga industry, especially JUMP, needs to hurry up and do away with weekly scheduling for mangaka. There needs to better regulations put into place for their health and safety because this is pitiful. Two weeks - monthly updates should’ve already been the standard for the manga industry at this point. These money grabbers will only continue to put the lives of these artists at stake for the sake of capitalism unless some serious changes are implemented.

#it’s just??? #at the end of the day all these people want to do is draw and write their stories and share them with the world #why is death from stress the end game for so many of them #this should not be part of the package when finally deciding that this is what you want to do with your life #rambling #I still never got over miura’s passing man #and Togashi is still here but he’s been suffering from the consequences of overwork #it’s just… all so bleak #fans just need to learn to be patient if these changes are ever made and to be respectful #your fav series is not gonna die just because you can’t get it right now #I’m glad that gege does this now like he takes a break every 2-3 chapters and that’s good #this should be normalized

[oumu-omu]

Batfam: Oh sure we can! (track Jason)

----------------------

Bruce: You know you can stay, do you?

Alfred: Indeed, but I'm sure Master Jason might take care of them.

#jason todd #red hood #batfam #dc #batman #tim drake #damian wayne #cassandra cain #dick grayson #stephanie brown #alfred pennyworth #fanart #he just woke up #+ ik few of them also can cook bt to me only Alf & Jason is best cooker which is y they visit (breaking) his apartment lol

[literaphobe]

being obsessed with a song and being obsessed with the blorbos is so funny because u will listen to the song and go HMMM……. if i ignore this one lyric forgo this whole verse remove the context AND solely focus on these five completely unrelated isolated lines…? this song is TOTALLY about Them 😎😎😎

#text #music #fandom #idk #KFKSMDMSK #its like wow all this song is about is being in love and im like #SO THEM!!!! #KKFSKDKSKDKSKDK #me looking at the lyrics to Let You Break My Heart Again by laufey #LIKE YEAH SO CHAT NOIR @ LADYBUG!!!! #he WOULD let her break his heart again!!!! #onekplus

[ppeanutz]

this has probably happened in the marvel canon hasn't it.

#deadpool knows he'll break out within the next hour :] #spider-man #deadpool #spideypool #peter parker #wade wilson #marvel #comics #barbie #fanart #my art #i wonder how many times both of them have gotten arrested. #AGAIN: NOT MCU SPIDEY!! THANK YOU!!

[nie7027]

Ugh I really carry so much trauma...

#cant believe the sight of those old toy cars was enough to punt the air from my guts #as if i dont see them often... #then again i guess it was the sight of those same cars in anothers child hands... child hands that werent mine #then again it wasnt as if i was allowed to touch them #which in turn was what made them so precious #and now they are simple toys that can be scratched or broken without anything happening #BECAUSE THEY ARE JUST TOYS #the toys they were always meant to be #AND ANOTHER CHILD IS GETTING TO ENJOY THAT #getting to caressley play with them #and breaking them #despite how much i cared for them #and life is unfair #HAHAHA #they are not evenmine but i couldnt help but feel the need to take them away to grab them and be all like #THIS IS WHAT YOU WANTED THEM FOR? FOR THIS IS ALL THE FIGHTS I WENT THROUGT TO GET THEM BACK TO YOU?! #yes they were dumb fights but they happened nonetheless and i had to go through them!

[nerdpoe]

Danny's found a way to dodge GIW trackers, as well as his parents. Their equipment hunts ghosts, ghosts run on emotion; so as long as he keeps his under a tight lid and doesn't feel anything ever, they won't be able to track him.

It works!

He's able to run from them, and goes as far as New Jersey. The plan was to stow away on a ship, and go to literally any country that wasn't America. He goes to Gotham, which hosts the one harbor he knows where no one will ask any questions.

But because of how weird he acted (completely emotionless during a Joker attack), he was fingered by police immediately.

He's handed over to CPP. CPP doesn't know what to do with a teen literally so traumatized that they don't show any emotion at all, ever. He keeps just...walking out of his placements. Just leaves without a sound.

Luckily, he's always caught, due to those placement houses having quiet alarms and him refusing to run.

They call the one foster parent they know who does.

Bruce Wayne takes in the strange, nameless kid who refuses to talk.

On paper, they gave him the filler name of 'John Doe', for lack of anything better to do.

Bruce does everything he can to make the newest arrival feel at home. Damian, for as territorial as he is, actually breaks out of his shell sooner than expected just to try to get the new kid to speak. To emote. To do something. Duke tries the open approach, then tries the 'no one will ever know, everyone thinks I'm an innocent goody-two-shoes' approach. Nada.

Tim even tries to trick him into talking, but nothing works.

Enter Dick; Dick heard about Bruce's new ward, about the situation, and decided to see if he could get the kid to open up.

Danny though. Danny's in trouble.

The Wayne Manor is weirdly secure, and he can't just walk away like he did his other placements. He can't use ghost powers or the GIW and his parents will immediately know where he is.

He really, really wants to take Bruce up on his offer and just spend the day relaxing. Respond to Damian's attempts to provoke him. Overshare about space facts with Tim.

But most of all, he really, desperately wants to get in a Pun Competition with Dick. He wants to laugh at Dick's jokes, and learn coolass gymnastic tricks!

But he can't!

If he relaxes with Bruce, he'll be content, which is an emotion. If he argues with Damian, he'll get annoyed, which is an emotion. If he sneaks out with Duke and breaks the rules, he'll get happy, which, again, emotion. If he overshares with Tim, he'll get excited, which is, yet again, an emotion!

The worst sin of all, he can't even show proper appreciation of the food the Butler keeps making him!

And now there's even more people coming over!

There's a quiet girl who keeps reading his body language and trying to get him to dance ballet, a blonde girl who keeps trying to kidnap him to take him to BatBurger, a guy with a stripe of white who wants to take him to a shooting range, and it just...he really, really wants to!

He wants to do all these cool things with them!

But he fucking can't!

#dpxdc #dcxdp #dp x dc #dc x dp #phanfic #story prompt #danny vibes with dick the most #not that anyone knows that #breaks his little ghost heart that he can't have that pun competition #meanwhile bruce absolutely is running facial recognition #and hitting government firewalls and keeps having to shake off digital tracers #trying to find out who wanted that information #he smells a mystery #and he wants those answer #if cannot get them from their resident Doe #then he'll get it from whoever tortured the boy into silence #sidenote Damian just called Danny Doe instead of John #and danny responded to it quicker because it started with a “D” #that was noticed #now everyone just calls him Doe until his name is found

[flamingthespian]

#um actually #brennan lee mulligan #tal talks #i just watched this today and thought this bit was so good lmao #i for one would love a reverse Indiana Jones who breaks into museums and re-steals stolen artifacts to bring them back to their home culture #AND gets with really old women

[ghost-bxrd]

Prompt:

After some very eventful weeks of Jason’s debut as the Red Hood he takes a well deserved night off and decides to crash in one of his safe houses.

He did not count on one of the Bats finding him there.

So to keep his plans from being torpedoed entirely Jason goes with the split second decision of pretending he was held captive by the Red Hood.

#Jason I-did-not-Plan-this-through Todd #Jason pretends he got kidnapped by—- himself #he’s going the full victim act here #breaking out the tears for this one #maybe Batman and Nightwing find him #and it’s a huge shock for everyone involved #Jason has that one moment of ‘do I shoot them?’ #and then promptly decides to enter an a grade acting class by crying for his ‘family’ to please save him from the red hood #jason todd #batfamily #dick grayson #bruce wayne #batfam #robin #tim drake #red hood #batman #prompts #fanfiction #fanfic #batfam fic #batdad #under the red hood #Au #alternate universe

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[gingersnapped]

"Sam is probably my only friend in this town..." emergency sleepover time in the mountains after local small town emo and skater boy played too much solarion chronicles and lost track of time

#stardew valley #stardew #sdv #stardew sebastian #stardew sam #sdv sebastian #sdv sam #stardew valley sam #stardew valley sebastian #sambastian #this tagging system is atrocious #give them last names man #bought this game during thanksgiving break and have not known peace since #the chokehold this pair has got on me rn #they're in a band and only hang out with each other and abigail #can i make it any more obvious #my art id #also i got lazy lazy with this lighting #i should be studying for an exam i have tomorrow lol

[peevishpants]

big backpack for a little guy but it's a little backpack for a big guy

#short king propaganda #tears of the kingdom #totk #zelda #fanart #weiwei art #been playing this a lot and finally took a break to draw something about it! #i almost want to touch hyrule university au again LOL except link switches to engineering and becomes an AutoCAD guru #legend of zelda #dude u can edit text WITHIN tags now even after committing them!!! whoa

[starlit-mansion]

there's something so poetic about coyote vs acme being the thing that causes wb's 'the producers' ass scheme of shitcanning movies for tax breaks to blow up in their face and cause them to turn to the camera, blink twice, and dissolve into a little pile of ash that their eyes fall down into with a little bounce

#to be honest. my partner keeps saying that movies that were canned for tax breaks should be public domain and i agree #we literally paid for them? they're ours now???? #anyway i really hope it makes it out into theatres/streaming and i'm glad that the backlash worked #but also like. why shitcan a nearly finished movie that made it to test screenings when the industry's been at a standstill for a year? #where's you buy your intelligence? at the stupid store?

[pencilscratchins]

atla renaissance pt 3 calls to me like a siren

#back to my roots #atla #zuko #sokka #toph #avatar the last airbender #avatar #to everyone arguing whether or not it’s accurate to say they do have ODS consider a few things #a) it’s a joke i made while high #b) toph wouldn’t care she would just say shit to piss them off because she’s 12 #c) maybe welcome joy into your life. consider taking even a second of a break from whatever compels you to ruin my desire to post #and just chill. because this is and has never been that deep #art #my art #my fan art #fan art #is this the last thing i ever post on tumblr? who knows #im high and its 2am lets get wild

[lesbaurinkos]

do you think they knew even then that it was gonna be forever

#sent this to my friend in the middle of class and she physically put her head in her hands with such devastation another classmate asked- #-if she was ok. so i hope it can aid u guys in similar manners i suppose! #smiling shakily… Do You Remember. The Time. When W #no one look too hard at the train i don’t care what trains look like. it’s not about that. #it’s about. sing along to the start of forever. as paramore once said. #took the train home for spring break yesterday! just thought of them. x #dnp #dan and phil #phanart