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impala-dreamer · 5 months

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Pondering Fate While Ignoring The Obvious

A Ten Inch Hero Story

~Priestly has got it so bad for Tish that he can barely see past the end of her... well, her back end, anyway. He's love sick and forever rejected, constantly stuck inside his own head. When a new girl in town starts messing with him, he quickly loses his cool...~

Boaz Priestly x F!Reader

2,511 Words

Warnings: Nuttin' but fluff and banter. ;)

A/N: This is another square for my @jacklesversebingo card. The prompt is "Backhanded Compliment/Convenience Store/Sugar Addict"

Now listen- I've never written for this movie before, but I had so much fun doing it. If you've seen the movie, I think you'll love this. If you haven't seen it, you may not totally get it, but you'll still love it because it's cute and fluffy and I said so. Give it a chance ;)

Another day, another spicy Italian with no oil and no vinegar. How you could eat a hero dry was a question he could never quite grasp the answer to, but in the end, did another weird order really matter? He’d put a condom on the bun if they asked for it. Maybe not a used one, but then again, Tish was looking extra spicy herself today.

Tish. Goddamnit. There she goes flirting with every male in existence except him. There she is leaning over the counter in that not-so-sneaky way that pushes her tits up and out, giving everyone and their mother a look into the valley of the Promised Land.

For fuck’s sake, if she’d only do that for him.

Then again, nothin’ he hadn’t seen before.

Fingers snapped in front of his face and Priestly blinked himself back into reality.

“Can I help you?” he asked, still half dazed and half hard after staring so intently at his coworker.

Piper sighed. “Yeah. You gotta make a run down the street.”

He sighed harder. “You know, you ladies are capable of patronizing the convenience store now and then. It’s not really hard. You just pick out what you need and exchange it for cash.”

The tiny blonde pouted and batted her lashes. “Please? My feet hurt from standing all day.”

He scoffed. “And mine don't?”

“I’m not used to it. I’m delicate.”

Priestly scratched at the bright green spikes that sat atop his head for the day, masquerading as a hairstyle. He frowned but relented. “Fine. Gimme the list.”

He saw her from the street. He wasn’t purposely peeping through the window like a stalker, but he felt like it all the same. It wasn’t his fault, not really. Things mostly stayed the same around town, so when something was different, when someone new showed up, it tended to stick out a bit.

The new girl at the register was cute, not particularly daring in her style or makeup palette, but she was attractive. Probably the thing Priestly noticed first was the lollipop stick hanging from her painted lips.

His entrance was announced by the jangling of bells and she looked up as he came in. She smiled around the pop and twirled the white paper stick between her fingers.

“Welcome.”

He looked back at her over his shoulder and nodded. “Hey.”

Slowly, she pulled the treat from her mouth and licked the very tip. Her tongue was as red as the pop and Priestley was sure that his cheeks were turning the same shade. He cleared his throat quickly and turned back, going about his business.

The store was otherwise empty except for Mr. Jacobson, the old man who never seemed to go anywhere but was always wherever you went. He was currently lingering at the end of the aisle, amazed at the sheer amount of chip flavors the new millennium had to offer.

“Back in my day we had regular and salt & vinegar, and we were grateful!”

Priestly laughed under his breath and looked over the rack at the register. She was laughing softly as well, and when their eyes met, she didn’t shy away.

He did; quickly tearing his gaze from the cherry pop and focusing on the aluminum foil instead. There was no use flirting with her anyway- she’d never go for him. She looked too normal, too pretty to fall for his shenanigans. Best not to even think about it.

Arms fully stocked, he headed her way, keeping his eyes on the black and gray tiled floor and praying she wouldn’t make his heart race any faster.

She sucked hard on the Blow Pop and then took a bite, making him jump. Sugar crackled between her teeth and she winked.

“I hope you overcharge them,” she said dryly, staring him down.

Confusion took the place of shyness and Priestly’s face scrunched up. “What?” he snapped, jerking away from the counter.

The girl rolled her eyes and went about ringing up his order without another word.

Cash exchanged, Priestly thanked her and walked out, still wondering what the hell she was talking about.

Monday.

Priestly stared out the front window, wondering if the day was going to go his way or not. He knew he shouldn’t bother pondering the Fates, because they always seemed against him, but he liked to think he had some hope tucked away somewhere beneath the Manic Panic hair dye and all the metal sticking out of his head. If there was, he couldn’t find any today.

Tish was late, as usual, probably rolling out of some strange guy’s arms and fishing for her bra underneath the bed.

Someday… someday, that’d be his bed she was searching under. Someday, those would be his arms she rolled out of. He just had to keep hoping.

Or not. He really didn’t care.

The sun was too bright, the grill was too hot. He hated everything.

Except the sound of bubblegum popping behind him. He didn’t seem to hate that.

With spatula in hand, he turned and startled just enough to make the bubblegum appear between coyly smiling pink lips.

“Hey.”

Priestley squinted. “You’re that chick from the store.”

Annoyance crept onto her face. “And you’re that dude with too much eyeliner.”

He laughed before realizing she was insulting him and ended up jolting up on his toes awkwardly, half a smile curled on his lip.

He cleared his throat. “Priestly.”

She squinted. “Like Elvis?”

He shrugged. “And you are?”

“Hungry.”

Slapping a five on the counter, she picked up her hero and spun away, heading toward the door. She turned to push it open with her backside and popped her gum again.

Her eyes were glued to him and Priestly felt his stomach flip. He met her gaze and she smiled.

“I always do.”

He wanted to say something, to ask her what the hell she was talking about, but she was gone before the words reached his tongue.

“Always do what?”

Jen turned her head his way, but her eyes were still locked on the computer screen. “What’s up?”

He sighed. “Nothing. Just a weird girl from…nothing.”

It was nothing. She was just the weird girl from down the street. And anyway, he was supposed to be hating everything today, not shifting his ponderance to the mystery of the gum chewing, pop crunching girl from the convenience store.

“Nothing.”

Blue hair; don’t care.

Priestly cracked an egg on the grill and watched the edges sizzle. He wasn’t great at a lot of things, but cooking eggs was something he did exceptionally well. The butter bubbled around the perimeter, curling the whites just slightly, and he pushed the tip of his spatula against it.

Not ready yet.

The girls were, yet again, chatting about men, and he kept one ear on the sizzle and the other in their conversation.

“I just don’t understand how hard it is to find. It’s right there.” Tish laughed and pushed a delicate hand back through her hair. “It’s a clit, not the Holy Grail.”

Priestly raised a brow. “Some would call it that though,” he interjected.

She rolled her eyes. “You would.”

Offended, he sucked in a quick breath. “Ya know something-”

She turned, one hand on her hip, waiting. “Yeah?”

His lips pursed and dejected, he turned back to the grill. “Forget it.”

“Thought so,” she laughed.

God, she was such a bitch sometimes. OK, most times, but still.

Tish went back to leaning on the counter and he took the opportunity to peek at her ass.

Behind him, a throat was cleared.

Priestly sighed, knowing what was waiting for him when he turned. Or, rather, who.

“You again.” He batted his lashes.

She smacked her lips. “Me again.” From her pocket, she withdrew a pink Starburst and fiddled with the wrapper.

He eyed the candy and followed it to her mouth. Her lips were darker today and it reminded him of the cherry pop. “You eat too much sugar, you know that?”

She smiled gently. “And you dye your hair too much. That isn’t good for you. All those chemicals are gonna fry your brain.”

“Joke’s on you, it’s already fried- shit!” Fried egg. Burnt to a crisp. “Damnit.”

Sugar Girl swallowed a laugh and the Starburst.

He turned around, annoyed at himself and her laughter. “Are you- do you want something?”

“Yup.” She nodded and took her order from Piper, who was holding a small, paper-wrapped hero. “Thanks.”

Green eyes narrowed on her smile. She was weird. Way too weird. And kinda rude.

“You ever gonna tell me your name?” he asked, calling out as she pushed open the door.

“Sure,” she replied, “Soon as I get my free sample.”

“Huh?”

Confusion always seemed to linger when she left, that and the smell of strawberries. Or cherries, or whatever she’d been sucking on.

Sucking on…

His eyes flickered over to Tish and he wondered if she was as good at sucking things as she claimed.

It was raining and he was cranky.

He’d missed his alarm, the car wouldn’t start, and a passing bus nearly drenched him head to toe.

It wasn’t supposed to rain at the beach. It was practically against the law. Nature’s law, anyway.

And to top it all off, Tish was bragging about the amazing night she’d had with a handsome stranger visiting from New York.

“He’s just in town for a few days, so it’s nothing serious,” she explained to a wide-eyed Piper who was drinking down every word. “But man, I wouldn’t be mad if it was. He’s… tall and handsome and-”

Priestly cleared his throat. “Ya know I’m pretty tall.”

She clicked her tongue. “And?”

His heart ached at her callousness. “And… just thought I’d remind you.”

Maybe she didn’t know what she was doing to him, but he thought his advances were fairly obvious. Maybe she was just a bitch.

Jen derailed his thought train with a shopping list she’d printed out.

He shook his head. “No.”

“Please?”

The shop on the corner was the last place he wanted to go. Nameless Sugar Girl was the last person he wanted to see. “Why do I always have to go?” He pouted and gestured to the window. “It’s pouring rain out there.”

Jen looked up with puppy-dog eyes. “Which is why I’m asking you to please go.”

A heavy sigh was his only reply. Priestly grabbed the paper from her hand, crumpling it beyond repair, and set out into the downpour.

He was dripping by the time he made it down the street. He sneered at the water on his face, rolled his eyes at the welcome mat, swatted viciously at the bells as they rang above his head.

“Rough morning?” she asked, watching his huffy entrance.

He scowled. “You could say that.”

A peppermint rolled on her tongue and the red and white stripes caught his eye. “Well, lemme know if you need any assistance.”

Priestly ran a hand through his teal-tinted hair and shook out a puddle’s worth of rain. “Yeah. Thanks.”

It took him a while to collect the goods, having trouble finding the right paper towels that would fit into the holder in the bathrooms. He’d never had any issues in the store before; seemed like someone had rearranged.

Someone.

He looked across the rows of sundries and wondered what her deal was. Hell, he still didn’t even know her name. Not that he wanted to, of course.

Of course.

Finally, and with much annoyance, he arrived at the register.

She laughed softly as he unloaded his arms.

He shook his head. “What?”

“I… I shouldn’t even touch this one.”

He had no clue what she was talking about, he never did, and he was at the end of his rope.

His patience snapped. “What?”

She sat back, clearly hurt by his tone. “Your shirt.”

She pointed at his chest and he looked down, reading the big black letters upside down.

‘Save a tree, eat a beaver’

His shoulders fell. “Oh. Yeah. Whatever.”

“Yeah,” she echoed, the sting heavy in her voice. “Whatever.”

He couldn’t take it anymore. Dropping a can of coffee onto the counter, he slapped his palms down on either side of it and leaned in.

“Ya know, everytime I see you, you’ve got something snarky to say.”

Her eyes went wide. “Snarky?” She frowned. “I thought I was flirting.”

The fight drained out of him along with the blood in his cheeks. Confused once more. “Uh… what?”

Pushing herself up off the stool, she mirrored his pose, hands falling dangerously close to his. “Flirting,” she said again. “It’s an ancient ritual in which a sexually interested party attempts to lure their prey into bed with witty and charming wordplay.”

He balked. “I know what flirting is!”

She glared. “Then why haven’t you picked up on the fact that I’ve been trying to pick you up for weeks now?”

“I uh…” His elbows buckled and he stood up fully. “You have?” No way. She wasn’t…

Memories of the past month flooded his mind. Each time he’d seen her she was smiling at him, not being snarky. She was teasing him, answering the ridiculous sayings on his shirt.

‘I sell crack for the CIA.’ … “I hope you overcharge them”

‘Surf naked.’ … “I always do.”

‘Orgasm Donor - Ask for your free sample’ … “As soon as I get my free sample.”

It had been smacking him in the damned face and he hadn’t seen it. She had been playing with him the whole time, not trying to annoy him. She wanted him to notice her, but he was too busy dreaming of Tish, wondering when she’d notice him.

He sucked in a stunned breath. “You have. Wow.”

A tiny smile returned to her cherry lips. “Come on, I know you’re not as dumb as your fashion sense implies.”

Priestly felt a dip in his gut, something fluttering around inside. He grinned. “Oh, I’m way dumber.”

Reaching across the counter, she grabbed hold of his shirt and pulled him close. “Good.”

Her lips were soft, the kiss as sweet as the candy she was always eating. He breathed her in as her tongue swept over his. He was stunned, confused but in a good way. Maybe he needed to push Tish aside and pay more attention to the world around him. Maybe this was a good thing. A really good thing. His eyebrows raised in surprise, his blood pressure raised even higher.

She pulled away slowly, her lips lingering on his.

“You get it now?”

She waited, blinking at him with the most beautiful eyes he’d ever seen. He should have looked sooner, closer; should have given her a chance.

“Yeah,” he whispered in a laugh. “I think I do.”

Another kiss, a press of her hand at the nape of his neck.

“You ever gonna tell me your name?”

She smiled. “Y/N.”

He reached for her cheek; fingers landing lightly on her soft skin.

“Nice to meet you, Y/N.”

2023 Forever Tags (Always Open! Send an Ask!)

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#ten inch hero #fanfiction #priestly x reader #boaz priestly x reader #fluff #jacklesversebingo23

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slashingdisneypasta · 7 months

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Foxy Coltrane x Crazy!Reader || Headcanons

Topic: Foxy with an S/O who hates Otis.

Warnings: Hating on Otis, curses, threats, smuttiness (Specifically meaning talk of cum, penis, and um... volume+proximity to other people)... look, its Driftwood-Coltrane fanfiction. Its not gonna be clean.

For as long as you've known this family, which is pretty much as long as you've been friends with Foxy (He brought you home his next time visiting them. He said you're crazy and you'll fit right in- which you do XD )- you have h a t e d Otis.

He brushed you the wrong way immediately when one of the first things he said near you was putting Foxy down (Someone you really like. Someone you genuinely just click with. Someone who later becomes more then a friend). You tried to give him the benefit of the doubt, I mean brothers do mess with each other right?

But goddamnit. The more you tried to look for a redeeming quality in this piece-of-crap man, the less you liked him. He was just gross. He's gross, and cranky, and god d a m n i t, those r a n t s. Just shut up! You're not as smart as you think! No one is listening to you. You're the boss of no one!

Anyway, so your stance on Otis has been pretty steady since the beginning. You god along great with everyone else, cuz like Foxy said you a r e crazy, so they loved you and they didn't put you off at all. You could even have a good time with them when Otis was there, you just didn't really interact with him.

As for Otis' own feelings... well, Otis doesn't like anyone (Except maybe Baby. And he clearly has a soft spot for Mama Firefly too otherwise he would never have come down to dinner in the first movie and brought... whoever was in that jar for her. I cant clearly hear the name.). So he pretty much disliked you from the beginning too. Took one look at you, rolled his eyes and moved on.

Foxy... is a big fan of your distaste for his brother honestly XD Like, you like him more??? Really??? Hell yes. He is fucken better.

And every time that you snap at Otis (Whether it be because he said something rude towards your favourite person, Foxy, or just cuz he was getting on your nerves by... you know... existing- ), Foxy just has this shit-eating grin on his face and he'll keep you safe if Otis decides to lash out and try to hurt you for it. He'll aim a loaded shot gun right at his brother and mean it. And Otis will see that he means it.

(Sure, he may not intend to actually kill Otis like you might enjoy, just wound him, but uh- being shot is gonna hurt like a bitch no matter where the wound is)

It turns him on, too. Like goddamn- the moment you grit your teeth and growl or even spit at Otis- Foxy feels himself getting as hard as rock. The first few times this happens, he doesn't both you about it. He's a grown man, he can handle this. And by 'handle this', i do not mean jerk off. I mean he'll just, sort of, adjust his jeans and live with it until he stops being turned on and it softens up again?? He ignores it, basically. Yes, he will have a yucky creamy mess in his underwear (Or? Just his jeans?? I don't know if these men would wear underwear. They stinky) but eh he can live it. He's gross, you must know this.

One day either you notice it (I mean how can you not? I bet you good money Foxy's pretty large, bigger than Otis and thats saying something, and that would create a thick indentation in his pants 😅😅😅), or Foxy draws your attention to it (Having decided that, yeah. He does wanna fuck his friend. Lets give this a try and see if you're into it), and welllllllllll~

That begins your more then friends thing with Foxy XD

And oh! Yes. You can bet your bottom dollar you are extra loud when Foxy's fucking you in the Firefly house. You dont give a fuck if most of the family hears, they don't care themselves (Mama Firefly is probably just like 'Oh good for sweet Winnie~ ^^ ~', Baby rolls her eyes like 'Ugh, i'm trynna watch a fricken movie here!', Spaulding is at work, Tiny figures someone's having a tantrum upstairs which is pretty standard, RJ just leaves like 'fuck this i'd rather be outside anyway', and Grandpa... 😂😂 sorry but Grandpa probably cheers you on- )- you just want Otis to know how good Foxy is in every single aspect. Its a low blow, but hell if you care?? Otis is a bastard.

Foxy thinks your craziness is amusing and adorable, and he's so chuffed that the one you're crazy for is him.

You're also super affectionate with Foxy when Otis is around. I mean, you're normally affectionate with Foxy (How could you not be?? Look at him! Tell me you don't wanna give him kisses and hug him) because he's great, but it definitely hits different when Otis' (self imposed) lonely ass is around to see it. No one wants worship him, do they?? Nope.

Like, you're all over him like some kind of obsessed love-struck freak (And, again, who could blame you? look at him-). Running your hands up his sides or over his chest (Dipping under his shirts sometimes), your lips on is jaw or giving him a very deep very obscene tongue-kiss, sitting sideways his lap so you can still see him and have intimate whisper-little talks with him (And kicking Otis if you're close enough 😅😅), sucking slow and wet hickeys into his neck while he watches his old movies, etc.

Again- Foxy does not mind at all 😂😅😅 He loves it actually. He doesn't move to stop you at all. In fact, if he brings Otis around you (Which he loves to do on purpose, because he loves to see how protective and loving you get about him when you see Otis with him) he will apologise. Like 'Sorry, sweetheart... couldn't get a sitter on such short notice. Its not my fault y'cant schedule your booty calls better, sweet thing... he'll jack off in the bushes or something.'.

You are totally willing to brawl with Otis if you it comes to it!! If he keeps insulting Foxy, or you, or just reach your limit- you have lunged at him before and Foxy has had to catch you, throw you over his shoulder and walk off like 'nope you, crazy pants, are the best fuck i've had in a while; you're not gettin' yourself killed that easy on my watch'.

Otis... Otis is not much more disturbed or pissed by your attitudes towards him then he is by everyone else's annoying little Things that he hates. He's not bothered, basically (Cuz uh, being annoyed and cranky are his default settings), and that pisses you off more.

... but hey. At least Foxy feels good ^^

#Foxy Coltrane x Reader #Winslow Foxworth Coltrane x Reader #Otis B Driftwood #Otis B Driftwood x Reader #Headcanons #Horror Villains #Foxy Coltrane #Winslow Foxworth Coltrane

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iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia · 2 months

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boy i hope these links work OK so. everyone has probably already been made aware of how luciocoded this little adorable bastard is

Lucifer being my favorite character for 4 minutes and 16 seconds

like i can just see with mine minds eye the Lucio Deadbeat Dad AU and it is. so exactly this vibe hmvghgdf fruCKINNNN 2:25 IMAGINE HIM AND HIS LIL "mercy; melchior! ✨rootututudoo✨" GODDAMNIT STOP BEING CUTE

and then i remembered who else is fully unapologetically luciocoded in my head

The very best of Draco Malfoy (Lauren Lopez) - AVPS (youtube.com)

"My name is count Lucio. I am.... a pain in the ass. i despise peasants, and witches. im a catastrophic threat to the balance between the arcana realm and our world, a direct cause of a plague that killed thousands, and me and my kin are root sources of all of ur & your friends problems pretty much. wanna make out?"

also jvhdzjh 6:05 with morga MOMMYYY!!!! MUMMYYY YOU CAME TO LOVE MEEEEE (ﾉ◕,ヮ◕,)ﾉ

Lucius Malfoy Being Fabulous for 4 Minutes - YouTube

also behold the ultimate icon of grace and styleuh jgvhb i wasnt sure if hes all that luciolike but then i remembered valerius simps exist so i guess you can have this one guys ur welcome 2:14 ugh SLAYYYYY😫💦🙌💅

@tetsuooooooooooo good lord you're so right!!!

...... does this mean Nadia is Hermione now???

(I've never watched the Harry Potter movies, and I've only read the first two books or so, but based off of memes it feels oddly accurate ...)

#ask arcana brainrot #the arcana #the arcana headcanons #the arcana hc #the arcana game #lucio morgasson #lucio the arcana

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ikesenwritings · 2 years

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Might I request a HC for ikesen Shingen? Perhaps something to do with his visit to the modern day? Something that while not in the route, but you believe he and MC did in modern day?

A/N: Yes!! I really do love that we got to see one of our boys visit the future 😋😋 I haven’t read Shingen’s route in a little while so I don’t remember much of what they did when they traveled back to the present so I’m very sorry if there are some things that have already been mentioned in his route, like buying him clothes and such. Alsoooooo happy belated birthday, I hope it was a nice day for you!!!!! Enjoy <3

[HC] Shingen and MC in modern-day Japan

Content Warnings: Mentions of sex, food

Yes, the end goal was always to return to the Sengoku period with one healthy Shingen Takeda, but goddamnit, MC was relishing the time spent in the modern-day

Oh, how she has missed plumbing and a nice shower

And oh, how exciting it was to show Shingen her appreciation for all these technological advancements

Washing up after traveling 500 years was certainly an experience

“Eventually, we’ll have to go out and buy you some modern clothes but I’d figured you’d like some semblance of how things were—given all the new things you’ve seen today. So I’ll wash your kimono and hopefully, it’ll be dry by tomorrow morning.”

By then, MC had turned the shower on—steam and all—and turned around to see Shingen already disrobing

Oh, the shit-eating grin on this man’s face

“And if it isn’t dry by tomorrow morning? How will I keep warm?”

Words did not register for MC as Shingen was then half-naked

Cue shower sex

And honestly? Not his favorite.

Much rather prefer making love to MC in a futon, or for the time being, a bed

Now, MC considered it overwhelming to go back in time and miss certain modern elements

She couldn’t even imagine what it’d be like the other way around where there were perhaps too many modern elements that a person like Shingen wouldn’t be able to take in all at once

And so, with the help of Sasuke dropping off groceries and his largest clothes for Shingen, the pair spent the first several days in the apartment

MC continued to introduce Shingen to modern-day concepts that were limited to her apartment

Oh, the adoration for his love was clear as day when MC held an impromptu fashion show of her modern-day clothes (lingerie included)

And let’s not forget the photo albums and giving a brief and very limited history of developing photos and more modern printing methods

How he wished he could have every photo of his goddess ingrained in his mind—to know and understand completely what MC’s life was like

And when the two finally ventured out to the hospital and other sites (including many restaurants and cafes), cooking home dinners was always more fun and a rewarding experience

Shingen came to have a very deep fondness for refrigerators

If only he could transport one back to Kai and have it keep cool

“Let me cook for you tonight.”

“Really? Are you sure?”

Let me tell you, it took quite some time for MC to fully trust Shingen alone in the kitchen

As for activities outside the apartment:

Going to see a movie was an absolute must

The saltiest, most buttery popcorn in existence with a large soda between the pair in an IMAX theater

3D movies? Not MC’s favorite but a necessary experience for Shingen

You best believe he tried his best to understand/enjoy franchises such as Indiana Jones, Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, the MCU (this did not bode well for him)

MC taking Shingen on aimless train rides

Long, long walks with no destination

Stumbling upon a shopping center along a waterfront with a Ferris wheel!!

Nothing could be more cliche than kissing your date at the top

And surely, MC would indulge in all the cliches with Shingen

Like an excited child, MC tugged on Shingen’s hand and ran to the Ferris wheel, explaining the whole way how she wished there was an entire amusement park for them to go to

“This ride is pretty much made for kids but couples go on it all the time. And when you get to the top, oh, it’s such a beautiful view.”

Just as he was every other time MC taught him something new, Shingen couldn’t help but feel caged by his love’s happiness and enthusiasm—in a good way

This time period really does suit her.

But the overwhelming love he felt for her was, of course, always followed by doubt

Is she really okay with leaving this time—her home—forever for me?

MC was always quick to reassure him without even knowing there was a problem in the first place

She was very honest about soon missing the modern-day but was even more eager to show Shingen everything she could offer

Never did MC ever seem regretful or deeply sad to have gone back home just for Shingen and then go back 500 years just for Shingen

And when the two finally stopped at the top, he took in his surroundings

MC was right, it sure was a beautiful sight

To look at all the lights and think of all the people going about their lives

Before they would lose the beloved spot at the top, MC gently rested her palm on his cheek, turned Shingen toward her, and placed a soft kiss on his lips

Just then, as they were pulling away and Shingen was about to spout something incredibly romantic and cheesy, another idea took hold

“Oh! I should teach you how to drive! You know, I might not be good at horseback riding but I’m a great driver. Oh, we should definitely go to an empty parking lot tomorrow and I’m sure Sasuke would let us borrow his car. I used to lease a car but that ended right before I moved and got that job as a designer…”

And of course, Shingen was nothing but smiles at this point as he listened to MC ramble about anything and everything

#cybird ikemen #ikemen sengoku #ikesen #ikesen headcanons #ikesen hcs #shingen takeda #takeda shingen #ikemen shingen #ikesen shingen

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wreckham · 1 year

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I hate how useless Nala became in TLK 2.

Like in the first movie she was brave enough to travel away from her homeland to find help, was a strong voice of reason for Simba and wasn’t afraid to call him out on his refusal to return claim his role as king, and was a fierce fighter.

I’m Simba’s Pride…she just occasionally showed up to tell Simba “Hey relax man, Kiara’s gonna be fine.”

Like as soon as she popped a baby out she instantly became a generic Supportive Wife and Mom ™.

hello anon you are correct and i wrote a mini essay about it. thesis: nala hasn't been good since the original film

so. aside from the typical furry milf lust, lots of tlk fans love nala bc of the personality traits she has? she's brave, she's playful, she's a smartass, she's strong emotionally and physically, etc. the reason we get to see all this stuff is bc she's the protag's best friend/obligatory love interest. nala exists throughout all drafts of tlk's script, but she's most important in the final one bc she was condensed down to fill several specific roles: she's simba's sidekick, confidant, and loyal supporter all at the same time. the story of the lion king cannot be unaltered by nala's absence

in the first movie that is lmao gottem

we've already established that tlk2 was uh. Messy. for many reasons. rushed production, lack of forethought, few resources, ya get it and ya feel it. to this very day fans complain about how they wish they knew more about kovu and kiara's childhoods, or nuka's relationship to his brother, or the main villain's relation to the previous film's main villain goddamnit reeee. the writing knows what it wants to give us (why else would nuka's death be framed as so tragic despite the fact that we don't really know much about who nuka is as a person outside his submission to his mother?) tlk2 knows what it wants to give us, but it doesn't deliver

so i figure nala is just another casualty to this trend lmao. she was watered down to her barest essentials so as to remain recognizable, and she's in the movie in the first place bc fans expected/wanted her to appear, but none of the writers actually considered what her role(s) would be now. like, okay, she's always been supportive and kind, but that was towards simba as a friend and partner. what about her relationship to her daughter? how does she feel about the outlanders, her former pridemates? why is the womancat who fiercely scolded sense into ferris beuller's fursona unwilling to stand up for her kiara's emo softboy bestie?

and then nala's barely in tlk3. and then she's even less worth the screentime in (what ive seen of) tlg. and she was such a flaccid, pointless nothing in tlk2019

if i was in more of a tumblrina mood today (give me a few edibles more and i'll get there teehee!) i'd go into this also potentially being a misogyny thing, but i feel that's kinda obvious bc its so common in fiction. like, oh cool, another great female character loses all but a semblance of her previous aspirational traits bc she's a married mother now! the directors said >implying lionesses don't belong in the kitchen topkek

#the lion king #tlk #disney #asks #beck yammers #oh im cringe. hope you get something outta reading this!

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squeakyfir · 1 year

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I'm your huckleberry (Tombstone 1993) (Doc Holliday)

Description:

The joys of modern inventions and miracles are often taken for granted. Your hungry or thirsty? Get something from the fridge or make it. You need to go somewhere? Drive or call an uber. Your hurt? Go to the doctor.

Your bored? Watch a movie, play video games, watch videos on the internet, talk to people without ever leaving your house.

Some much time is in our hands... but back in the 19th century... you wouldn't last very long.

Diseases are rampant, gun violence is higher, no modern technology, barely any good medicine, almost all of your favorite food doesn't exist and most of the people are rude as hell. But... That doesn't mean all of them were so bad. Love was not something most people in this time really cared about. At least, in the town of Tombstone, Arizona.

After falling asleep with a nice looking stone you bought at a small stand at the carnival, your whole world becomes the opposite. Six people from the past discover you unconscious and alone in the blistering heat and offer help but it was their help that let you meet the most amazing man you've ever met.

John Henry "Doc" Holliday.

Chapter 11

Previous ~ Next

Morgan and Virgil were at the jail and allowed Ike Clanton to leave with two other cowboys but there were more out front. After Morgan and Wyatt were taking Doc back to his hotel last night, the cowboy known as Ike Clanton had pulled out his gun to make a threatening statement about the Earps. But he was quickly shut down by Virgil pistol whipping him and taking him to jail for the night. It was now the next morning. "You gonna give Ike back his guns" one of the cowboys demanded.

"Not 'til he sobers up" Virgil added.

"Wearin' that badge don't make you right. The hell you think you are"? The cowboys left and Morgan and Virgil walked out as well to see the same cowboy bump into Wyatt. "Watch the way you walk, you stupid bastard"!

"Easy, kid, I'm sorry" Wyatt said calmly. The cowboy then got up in his face. "I ain't easy and I ain't your kid. You take your sorry and shove it up your ass. I'll fight you right now"! The cowboy then flashed a gun on his belt which Wyatt quickly took and pistol whipped him and gave the gun to Morgan. As the cowboy was lifted up to his feet, Ike was on his horse and approached them. "Goddamnit. You're gonna bleed. You got a fight comin'. Comin' today". They all rode off but Billy then shouted, "You bastards! We're comin' for you and your whore friend"!

They knew who he was talking about and they weren't nervous for their well being, they were nervous for you. "Where is she now" Wyatt asked.

"She should still be with Doc at the hotel" Morgan replied.

"Good" Wyatt said. "As long as she's there, she's safe".

You ended up staying at the hotel with Doc the whole night and Wyatt had said he would ask for the doctor to show up to check on him. The chair wasn't comfortable but that didn't matter. You woke up and saw that Doc was still asleep. You didn't want to disturb him and got up to stretch your arms and legs out. You still had some more water by the bedside and decided to take a drink. It tasted odd, definitely not what your used to but it was still manageable.

As you straightened yourself out, you could see Doc's eyes open and he looked a bit surprised to see you. "Good morning" you said as you got another cloth wet to dap his forehead. "You were here all night"?

"I sure was".

"You know you shouldn't have".

"Well" you put the cloth away once he was cooled and sweat free, "I care too much about you to not care". Doc stared at you and slowly reached out to place a hand on your cheek. "What have I done to have a beautiful woman by my side" he asked softly. You smiled and you were about to lean in to kiss him but a sudden knock at the door halted your movement. You went to answer the door and saw a man in a grey suit with a briefcase. He explained that he was the doctor and that he was here to examine Doc.

You let him in and he began his procedure but Doc asked you to go be outside on the balcony since he didn't want you to hear what he was saying, but you still listened in. What Doc was experiencing was something you really wish you knew about.

Tuberculosis.

They usually referred it as "consumption" or referring someone as "lunger". Doc knew you heard him say tuberculosis and assumed you would not be around him anymore. "Your conditions quite advanced" the doctor said as he finished up his procedure. "I'd say you lost some 60% of your lung tissue, maybe more".

"What's the verdict" Doc asked.

"Two years. Two days, hard to say. Your smokin', your drinkin', your gamblin', your night life. You need complete rest". You started to make your way back inside to ask a question. "What I mean is, you must attempt to, uh, deny your, uh, martial impulse". Doc then saw you coming back inside and said to the doctor, "Get out of my sight". You wanted to ask your question but the doctor left before you could. Once he was gone, you stood there with your arms crossed. "Tuberculosis"?

"Don't say anything, darlin'. I know you must now despise me".

"I don't despise you. I just don't know why you didn't tell me about it". You got closer to the bedside.

"I didn't want to worry you or drag you down". Doc tried to lean up but you quickly placed a hand on his chest and let him lay back down gently. "Easy". Doc could see how much you truly cared for him and was amazed by it. "Truth is, when I first saw you, I felt somethin' different. An urge. A call". You sat down on the edge of the bed and kept listening to him. "I found out your from a time I can't imagine but that wasn't the answer. But when I look at you now, it's strong".

"I feel the same". You gently took his hand. "God, I wish you were from the future. I know there's a cure for this".

"Is there" he asked a bit shocked.

"Yeah. I think it's been around for awhile. If I ever go back, would you go with me"? Doc only seemed to think of what that kind of life would consist of. From what you explained, it sounded relaxing but stressful. Advanced but still no different. New and exciting things dominated all but old things still had their place in the world. "That's a lot to take in, darlin'".

"I know but if I ever go back, I hope you'd come with me".

"I don't know, but any life with you is a life well spent". You felt so touched by his words but then felt his hand release yours and gently grasp on your leg. "Darlin', may I kiss you"?

"You didn't even have to ask". You two then slowly leaned in but another knock at the door made you two start to get annoyed. "Jesus"! You got up and answered the door to see someone you never met and they explained that something bad was about to happen. Apparently the Clanton brothers and McLaury brothers, who are cowboys, are now gunnin' for Doc and the Earps. But you as well. Hearing this, Doc rose up and threw his clothes on. "What are you doing? Where are you going" you asked.

"To take care of this".

"I'm coming too"! Doc was about to dismiss that offer but you quickly backed yourself up. "Hey, I know I can do this. You taught me enough to shoot and aim a gun. You said it yourself too! Remember? "Any fool with a finger can shoot a gun". Remember that? I'm coming and that's final"! Doc wanted to say no but then saw that look of determination and didn't dare himself to stop you. "If you must, but afterwards, you and me must make up for what was taken away from us". He threw his jacket on. "Twice".

#will add more tags later

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windlion · 2 years

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Malevolent screamalong, part 7! Eps 20-22

Let's head into the creepy city that's probably full of cultists for the guy we're trying to avoid, that sounds like a plan, right?

All right with an episode title like the King and heading straight into the City, I am waiting for John 1.0 to show up. The Hive Mother. Senor Amarillo.

Side-note: I have no idea if King in Yellow is an existing Lovecraftian reference or something new because I am not quite *that* far down the uh. I was about to say tentacle rabbit hole but that is SOMETHING ELSE entirely. I am not that well steeped in the Cthulhu mythos.

"Subtlety is not our strength." No shit!

Arthur do you remember that John is le fucked if you are le fucked?

I hope you guys are talking in your head because otherwise you're SUPER conspicuous.

LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR~~~~

and John all "I am taking psychic damage, this is gnarly"

OH that can't possibly be a ~blatant trap~ could it?

Yeah, safe to say, that this guy is *not all there*

I was almost betting this guy would be also Arthur, doppelganger

"The heart of Hastur" *side-eyes John*

*eyes emoji*

"Through trial and tribulations (though not my own)" XD XD XD

I kind of love this asshole

"Lilith you bitch" *snerk*

I could 100% imagine Taliesin voicing this guy

Cain, okay, Cain, that's my new Asshat, I look forward to his sudden but inevitable betrayal

"All right, time to dick around and do all the side quests"

. . . Does the Dog Die Dot Com

*dirty glares at podcast author* NOT KOSHER

So Arthur had a sibling???

I imagine this would be a pretty bitching movie game pre-battle sequence

"Unscathed?!" I would have pointed at the crippling guilt and depression first

King, buddy, are you *jealous*?

And now, fun times!

. . . I'm not surprised things went that way

Yeah I'm kinda okay with not having THAT narrated. And now it's time for Cain to do his thing!

"We were in an accident" No, actually nothing about that was an accident

Arthur, dude, why did you even try that

I guess that was a . . . human stress reaction, but still, you know the deal you made, Arthur, why would you think there's any wiggle room

It is fun having this rerun with the balance of power reversed, I'm more invested in this dynamic

"What did you do?!"

"You weren't this difficult the first time"

It is fun having John being all "What the actual fuck happened to you"

"Than you could ever be" - Arthur, you're being judgy

And then the changeover to calling him Yellow~

Hmm

"Run" That is quite possibly the worst move you can make

Arthur you do kinda owe Yellow that apology

"The Red Right Hand" oh that's not ominous

And suddenly terrible second-hand embarrassment

*Cringing*

Goddamnit you disasters definitely shouldn't be out in public

Okay I'm not sure if this is point for or against them being a cult

*CRINGE INTENSIFIES*

Ohhhh my god okay the "people are WATCHING" is more anxiety inducing than anything else

and Yellow has a thing for dancing???

If you think animals don't have hope you have never had a dog deeply intensely yearning for your dinner

Ah and there's the name drop

(Fun fact: my high school made us recite that poem our senior year so I recognized it)

And oh ho, I see that that little hat-tip (Is there hope? Who knows!)

Next ep! I guess this is a flashback?

Yellow, deadpan, reciting the damages of the night before

"YES OKAY please stop"

Arthur, you could stop bullshitting unnecessarily

. . . . Deeeeeep sighs and we're back to the see-saw

OH actual progress, good job, Arthur!

Yellow all "You wanted a relationship?"

"Because I didn't want to be an asshole"

Cleanliness is next to godliness and dear god did you need that

Oh hey we found the cults!

Yellow "Uh shit that's BIG I don't want to fuck with that should have picked a bigger body to occupy"

I was wondering about the snowshoes

Yellow all "I DON"T KNOW ABOUT THESE HUMAN THINGS"

I'm with Arthur in the "Knowledge is power!"

So they delved too deeply here

Whomever lived here is dead because you need their loot and are terrible at interacting with living creatures, see: negative charisma score

Ohhhh that was exactly the wrong direction wasn't it

Monch and cronch time

And there we go again~~~

I am going to be smart-ish and stop here for the time being because I bet the next lot are going to run together, so we'll leave Arthur being nommed on. He's had worst resting spots. He'll be fiiiiine.

#Wind is a ridiculous creature #Malevolent podcast #screamalong #eps 20-22 #I wonder if Arthur is accruing scars from all this damage and eldritch healing #or if he's just got the memory #and a black wood finger for his troubles #it's not like Arthur is seeing them anyways #but John would #and so would anyone else looking at them #this haggard emaciated scarred-as-fuck guy clambers out of the woods one night and everyone's like *. . . YEP not fucking with that*#he's all *There's probably someone dead out there just thought you should know*#and everyone turns back to their drinks all *oookay and he reeks of crazy*

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treesap-blogs · 1 year

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happy saturday y’all if ur in my time zone or any other nearby ones! Here’s a “When The Angels Left The Old Country” by Sacha Lamb!

TUMBLRIANS!! Greetings!! As of the publication date of this review, it will have been about 5-6 days since I finished reading When The Angels Left The Old Country by Sacha Lamb! And ugh! What an excellent book. Up at the tippy top of my mental rankings along with A Lesbiana’s Guide To Catholic School. (P.S., I’m sticking true to my word and developing a weekly schedule! I’m publishing reviews every Saturday! Every other day of the week I’ll just..do whatever I want lol.)

I don’t think I fit into the intended demographic of this book; I have not watched a minute of Good Omens in my life (I only knew that it borrowed a bit from the basic premise/setup based on reviews by people who have watched or read it), nor am I Jewish! The Hebrew and Yiddish glossary at the end was greatly appreciated for the latter reason lmao, although I could guess what some things were based on context clues it was good to have the extra help for visualization. (I picture stuff in my head like a movie when I’m reading, so it can throw me off if I miss a detail.) Regardless, I got sucked into the world of this book, and how culturally rich it felt; the Yiddish/Hebrew/Jewish aspects blended in effortlessly and never felt once like they were being shoved into a line or piece of dialogue. And consequently, I became terribly invested in all of the characters. (“Terribly” meant in an 18th-century-lady-saying-“very much” way, not the negative connotation!) I loved to tune into an angels and demons story that wasn’t exclusively Catholic or Christian(and acknowledged the existence of other religions, too!), and there was something so uniquely poetic about both Little Ash and Uriel discovering what it means to be human, on top of realizing they’re becoming a bit more like that the further along the story they are.

Oh my goodness though, I’ve never wanted a book to be a little more under the romance subgenre than this one. Uriel and Little Ash’s relationship was just..beautiful. I so badly wanted them to get together like the other romantic pairing we get in this story (that one felt a little rushed admittedly, it felt more like infatuation and a fun little fling than genuine romance and we didn’t get a ton of development between the two). (Folks who read the book, you know what I mean.) Although I do think that it would change some of the writing and I wouldn’t want that to happen, I think it’s good as is and I suppose it’s nice that you don’t have that at the front and center so it doesn’t distract from the plot. Not that Sacha Lamb ever rules out the possibility of them getting together, but it just doesn’t get finalized ☹️. You can see how their affection towards each other changes to become a bit more romantic towards the middle of the story, and..goodness. They’re just so sweet. I usually don’t get emotional over a book romance, but these guys?? They’re everything to me!!! They should’ve kissed damnit. LET ASHEL AND URIEL KISS GODDAMNIT!!!

Anyhow! I also really loved the characters. Uriel and Little Ash/Ashel(I call him a lot of things in this review sorry) complimented each other’s personalities well! Although there was a possibility that Ashel’s “always sniffing around for sinners and mischief whenever he can” gimmick has the potential to get old after a while, as well as Uriel’s moral perfection being the foil to that (and acting as a means of keeping him in check), but both characters undergo their own changes and arcs, meaning that neither become “tired”. I liked their banter too. And Rose was a force of her own, a “firecracker” as I’ve seen another reviewer describe, her and the other two worked well as a trio once she became accustomed to both of them(+Ashel didn’t see the point in messing with her anymore lmao) and I liked seeing them become more of a friend group as the story progressed.

Also, this was one of the only times where I’ve felt truly satisfied by the ending of a non-contemporary novel! So that was a nice surprise. (So many sequels and open endings nowadays!) (I sound like a boomer, sorry.)

Overall, it was a well-written book, one of my favorites at that, and I’ll definitely recommend it to those who read historical fiction. No spoiler section for this review, everyone! I don’t have a ton I feel the need to rant about, which I can’t tell is because of my enjoyment of this book or because this week has been truly exhausting (and it’s taken everything in me to gather up my remaining energy and finish this review). (Apologies for those who saw my deleted post, I haven’t been in the best state.)

Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️/5 stars!

Paz, signing off!

(Book trigger/content warnings: Historical xenophobia and antisemitism, violence, some blood.)

#booklr #book review #when the angels left the old country #sacha lamb

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the-real-slim-shady · 3 years

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THE SUICIDE SQUAD THOUGHTS

Spoilers ahead obviously

- I love the rat girl idk her name but i love her she's a sweetheart and she deserves the world

- I also love Harley so fucking much and I wanted her and Rick Flag to spend more time together Harley needs someone to just be there and support her and I feel like he would have done that

- I'm very upset about Harley's fight scene with the flowers, that was super weird and made no sense and felt a little sexist tbh like let harley have the blood and gore goddamnit! She doesn't need flowers

- HARLEY'S SCENE WHERE SHE KILLS THE PRINCE GUY AND SHE'S LIKE "I kill men because they all just end up hurting me" paraphrasing but THAT WAS SO SAD I JUST WANT HER TO BE HAPPY

- I love bloodshot he's a fantastic character and Idris Elba was incredible

- Everyone seems to like the weasel guy but I fucking hate him that man was really hard to look at, he was like the live action version of Sid the Sloth from ice age in the worst possible way

- Polka dot man deserved better

- SHARK MAN I LOVE THE SHARK MAN

- I was kind of confused about the shark man though like they kind of skimmed over how he exists?? But im ok with it cause he's just a himbo in a shark body

- Peacemaker annoyed the fuck out of me from the beginning, the one good thing he did was when he gave the rat a drink that was cute

- I LOVE HOW BLOODSHOT WORKED THROUGH HIS TRAUMA WITH THE RATS I WAS SO PROUD OF HIM

- This movie was so fucking weird like imagine you're trying to explain the climax scene to someone, you're like "so there's this giant starfish trying to take over the world so Harley Quinn stabs him in the eye with a javelin and like dives inside his eye and millions of rats dive in with her and then eat the starfish's optic nerves until he fucking dies" like wtf

- The plot was SO WEIRD but somehow also compelling??

- I love Rick Flag I want him to be alive im so sad that he's dead he had so much potential as a character

- I probably have more thoughts but I can't think of anything else

- Overall i liked this movie, I'd give it like a 7/10? Would watch again

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sergeant-angels-trashcan · 3 years

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So like. Time fugitive young avengers

TRYING to find the only time traveler they know and the one who prolly sorta likes them???

So like eli and Billy and teddy appear during Sylvie and Loki's sword fight to yoink Kang

Which is the real reason he disappears

Kang legit crying because??? His friends??? Who he had to keep pruning from the timeline???

ABOUT THAT.

So none of them are the same ages because it's funny

I want Billy and teddy to be a middle aged married couple who are just SO DONE and Kate's like I was literally JUST at your wedding, WHY DOES THIS SHIT KEEP HAPPENING TO ME AT WEDDINGS????

Kate refers to kang as "my good bitch" and nothing else

They have nate which allows them to grab loki. The post saakar killed by thanos but not quite Loki

Also. This is a verse where when loki fell off the bifrost he got younger and then wound up with the YA. Endverse!kid!loki is a variant of that time

Kang also cries when he sees Cassie

They expect kang to be this hardass and really hes just SO TIRED, YOU GUYS, and he's so glad to have help

Which is not what they were expecting

Tommy keeps holding up rope all "so no tying him to a chair?"

He gets berated for trying to bring bondage into everything

thATS NOT WHAT THIS IS

At some point they're like you let steve do WHAT. the home of phobia.

Also theres a variant peggy that shows up. Kate and America keep ooo.ooo ing at her

The gay vibes are impeccable

Nate calls Kate "my solid ho"

I kind if want Kate to be the "youngest". Like she's the first one they nabbed but they got her earlier in her timeline than the rest of the team. Shes still like mid late 20s and everyone is weeping emoji at her shes such a BABY and Kate growling no goddamnit I'm a small business owner I pay taxes I am NOT baby

But ONLY if it's funny if Kate being the youngest for once isn't funny then no go hoes

Kate, Nate, and Loki doing obnoxious sprawling all over each other as the youngest oldests

Why is Kang unhinged? That is why. "The floor is lava and the only safe place is UR LAP"

Also have I mentioned agent mobius is noh? I have? Great. Because he is.

And that Casey is Jonas?

Awesome.

So that vibe the gotg had in their first movie..."them?" and "those dipshits?" that's the vibe of this young avengers. With the bonus that they were once competent and organized etc etc but not with these versions of each other

At some point "shhh come on this is Kate's funeral be quiet."

"Yeah don't turn it into a roast this time."

"Shut up ur dead u dont get a say."

but also like. maybe.

so when the timeline exploded all of those timelines existed fully at that moment

which is how they can pluck people at different ages etc.

so Nate Knows about the Young Avengers and a Good Nate comes and Grabs Loki, and they “go to the leader of the young avengers”

which to nate either means another him, or maybe jonas, or eli?

and it’s KATE. who he, like, sort of knows? but why is she the one they got taken to--

“I’m the leader of the young avengers, that’s why, jerk. Also hi Loki.”

“I’m sorry who are you?”

Kate is OFFEND.

Nate is just confused as to HOW. She wasn’t even??? On the roster???

“Yeah well i guess you’re just lucky.”

the fact that loki gets the team together the second time but he doesn’t even know her is irritating, meanwhile loki is making fun of “young avengers” what was there a BABY THOR, a MINI HULK

Nate has to implement a “no stabby no shooty” rule after he’s done laughing

Loki is CONSTANTLY unnerved by how much Kate seems to know about him

some things he didn’t even know about himself? like a breakfast obsession???

Kate being with them helps the other grabs go easier

at some point they’re talking about the TVA and they have pictures for some reason.

“wait wait go back”

“yeah ok we need to grab those two”

she’s only KIND of offended when Noh has no idea who she is but seems to have a crush on Loki. Rude, but ok.

Jonas is all “took you long enough, hang on let me grab some infinity stones”

“fucking WHAT.”

for some reason they wind up at the End, surrounded by Lokis.

and then it’s an argument about which Loki is better for the team. Which variant!loki is VERY offended by

this is just a group of people who MUST offend one another

Kate is. um. VERY adamant about the Loki she wants.

“My vote is for the lizard.”

cue kid!loki peering from behind something: “Kate?”

“LOKI??”

“CHCANGED MY MIND We’re taking the Kid.”

“no, we’re not, I vote for me” variant!loki says this and gets blasted by vote loki loki

Kate nixes vote loki loki because she ALREADY DEALT WITH THAT. vote loki loki is trying SO HARD. c’mon kate. i know you LOVED trolling me on twitter. pick me!

“No, we’re taking the Kid.”

Nate tries to argue this point.

“We’re. Taking. The. KID.”

no one agrees with her

“Saying it slower doesn’t make it a reason.”

“Oh you want reasons? Reason one: i know this lil shit.” a secret handshake of sorts ensues.

“Reason two: I can manhandle him” Loki gets tossed over her shoulder. he is very unimpressed

(”he is easier to punt that way,” America points out. She currently has another Loki in a headlock.)

“Reason three: i know how he lies.”

“Reason four: we’re bros.”

These reasons impress NO ONE.

but it is how they wind up with a gaggle of lokis.

Kate and Kid!Loki are very mean to each other. i just want to point that out. but like a dipshit mean sibling energy. they make fun of each other’s ages all the time.

the vibe of the young avengers is “we WILL save the multiverse but we’re going to be as chaotic as possible while doing it”

#loki #loki show #kate bishop #hawkeye #young avengers #nate richards #kang the conqueror #kid!loki #billy kaplan #teddy altman #noh varr #the team constantly roasting nate for his history choices

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noa-nightingale · 3 years

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Gay Oar!!! ✨💖 - second post

After I wrote my nerdy little text about the appearance of Oar Oar in the Mansa Musa PH ep (you can find that post here), I naturally also had to write one about Sword Oar appearing in the Smallpox ep.

I honestly should have expected him to show up sooner or later after his boyfriend already did but it still caught me off guard. ✨

I’ll use my beautiful “autisticwatcher” tag for this (and if you also have to say things about Watcher-related autism stuff or autism-related Watcher stuff, feel free to use it too). Here is an attempt to justify it even though this topic probably is not inherently autistic: a) I experience every part of life through an autistic lense and b) the ways I express joy are... let’s say, atypical.

Here’s what I mean by that (and don’t worry, this is going somewhere): I am not a very outwardly expressive person. My face is kind of neutral most of the time (you could call it resting bitch bastard face), I have a voice that is often monotonous, and I don’t like showing strong emotions.

And this is what I did when Sword Oar showed up: I sort of jerked back in my chair and clapped my hands once. Then continued watching the episode with the biggest autistic grin (i.e. with what probably looked like a mild smile from the outside). ✨

Let’s get into it! Once again, it brought me great happiness to write this, and - be warned - some of this stuff is pretty specific. And once again, I did not expect that I would spend my time writing about a sponsorship part. ^-^

Enjoy! 💖

“Okay, moving along! Oh-” - “Oar are we!” Never stop with the oar puns, please. I live for the oar puns.

I think I already talked about Oar Oar’s voice and how much I like it but Sowrd Oar’s voice is equally amazing (sometimes a bit hard to understand but I can live with that - I love that voice). I also enjoyed his soft little laugh in the beginning. It was sweet.

We get a little more info on the Professor who apparently smells like “rotten cotton candy mixed with expired vinegar” (also, the sound effect after that killed me lol). Oof. Didn’t have to expose him like that lmao. I like that Sword Oar says to the Professor “I like you but you are a smelly guy” - confirming that he indeed likes him (I have one or two headcanons about this but I am... not going to mention them here, for reasons I will write about below).

The sponsor for this episode is Scentbird, and Sword Oar starts talking about “smelling seasonally appropriate” which I like - we are transitioning into autumn, the leaves will change soon, it is almost Over the Garden Wall rewatch time (I usually start my annual rewatch in October), and I just like the autumn vibes, the thoughts of pumpkins and colorful leaves and little ghosts. It’s my favorite time of the year. 🍂

Here’s a quote from the episode: “put that light sexy summer fragrances on the shelf in exchange for a thick seductive scent for the colder months”.

Okay okay OKAY you... you can’t do this to me!! >:( I have Thoughts about this, okay? Again, I am not giving you any details here (see below) but I have one or two new ideas about Sword Oar’s and Oar Oar’s relationship, and all this talk about “sexy” and “seductive” is not helping.

Like... not to get too depressed in a post about anthropomorphic oars and a sponsorship but there was a time when it was not even legal to be gay (and that time was not that long ago) and there was a time when I did not see any happy queer representation in any media. (I had Brokeback Mountain and that movie is sad as all hell; it breaks my heart every time I watch it, it is incredibly tragic, and that was pretty much the only thing I saw happening to queer people in fiction when I was growing up - struggle, suffering and death. It does something to a queer teenager, is what I am saying. And you carry that pain into adulthood, even if things do get better.)

And then look at these oars - openly gay, openly in love and openly sexual with each other. Yes I am getting emotional about a goofy little quote in a friggin’ sponsorship part, goddamnit!! Even considering all the things that are better now, queer people still get hurt and harassed and harmed and sometimes killed for being queer, and queer sexuality is still stigmatized, and it means a lot to me to have these puppets who are just so unapologetically gay and talk openly about it.

Maybe all of this is an overreaction to a tiny little quote. But it makes me happy (and sad), and I want to talk about it. ❤️

Moving on! To more queer stuff (it is more lighthearted this time, don’t worry)! :D

He mentions not having arms or legs, and that’s the bane of my existence tbh. You probably know by now that I draw a lot of gay oars art, and I have complained before about the fact that these guys don’t have hands. Do you know how many gentle things I could draw if they had hands? You can’t lovingly hold someone’s face without hands, you can’t intertwine your fingers with them, you can’t hug them without arms. So. Yeah. The audacity! /lh

(Come to think of it, Maizey and Gebra don’t have hands either. Shane Madej, sir, I am begging you, please give your LGBTQ+ characters hands!)

Here is another quote: “Let me give you a rundown of some of the sweet sweet sniffs I’ve been dancing with thanks to Scentbird.” Ugh it sounds so charming. It’s just such a charming way to put it. 🌻

He then lists some fragrances and I especially want to mention Confessions of a Rebell - Morning After, and the quote “hot nights never smelled so good”.

I AM ASKING YOU AGAIN

WHY

WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME

And again, I won’t go into all the new headcanons and ideas and thoughts I have about these oars and here is the reason - I don’t know how many minors are following me. Like, I don’t want to make this stuff sound too lewd or crass because I think that queer sexuality is already too often seen as something “dirty” instead of something perfectly okay and natural. Still, I will keep some of my thoughts to myself. Let’s just say, I am very fond of... all of this. 😊

Annnnyyyyways, Sword Oar lists a whole lot of other stuff, and I know that he has to talk about the sponsor, but what I am getting from this is, the guy really likes his scents.

He mentions amber+leather, he mentions lavender, and he mentions Gendarme - Sky which is a “complex and sultry blend of bergamot, cardamom and aged leather”, and I now have a few more ideas about what Oar Oar smells like. (Personally, I like “masculine” scents. Wood, leather and the like.)

Watcher has a code again (you can get 30% off). ✨

The last thing I want to mention is this: “you delicious thing, you”. I am not entirely sure if he is talking to the Professor or the audience but I am okay with both. Because a) I already have a headcanon about the oars and the Professor (which I will not talk about here because, again, there are probably some minors following me) and b) ... oh to be called a “delicious thing” by an anthropomorphic gay oar. 😘

That’s it for now. I spent the better part of three hours with this and hey, if you want to do me a favor, be kind to a queer person today (and if you are any flavor of LGBTQ+, please be kind to yourself - you are wonderful). 💖

I did not mean for this whole text to be this emotional and sometimes sad but I don’t mind it either.

Thanks for reading! ✨💕

❤️ 💛 💚 💙 💜

Also, here is some of my older art. Seemed appropriate. ^-^

#watcher #puppet history #gay oars #autisticwatcher #the professor #shane madej

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beebubb · 3 years

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I read your LJ and will headcanons and i really love them! Can you perhaps make some headcanons of when LJ had to take care of baby william? Like how would he treat him when he hated him and then when he actually grew to like him?

Ahhhhhh!!! Yessss!!! I'm gonna make this a post of LJ taking care or will from newborn to now

LJ taking care of william grossman headcanons (childhood all the way to now) + a bit of will's back story

Will as a baby

Will was assigned to LJ before will was even born

So while everyone was celebrating the pregnancy, LJ was just pissed

"GODDAMNIT THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DON'T USE PROTECTION!!"

no one could hear or see him obviously, so he could say what ever he wanted

He just look at the dad be like "i bet that brat isn't even yours!"

He would just DREAD the day will was finally born

When will was born, and his mom finally came back home with will in her arms, was when he finally met him

".....he looks exactly like fucking isaac goddamnit!!!!"

He wouldn't take care of will and could care less about him

He would appear to will whenever he was alone in the nursery room and just say the meanest things to him or just hate anything will did

".....you're the cum shot your mom should have swallowed...."

"can you shut the fuck up?!?"

*carrying him* "go to hell you annoying waste of space"

"i wish I could take your eye out like I did to your fucking grandpa....."

"you know I can gut you whenever I feel like it"

Or just make dark jokes

"i can knock all your teeth over just like isaac! Wait, you don't have any! Hahaha!!"

LJ doesn't admit but, when he was watching over will, he just started crying, he was just so overwhelmed by everything, especially knowing he was stuck with his enemy's grandkid "i hate that i'm stuck with you!!! Why the fuck would you even want me?!? You're just going to abandon me just like your damn grandfather!!!"

With time though, he started growing fond of him

Will was really close to LJ. He would just smile to him, laugh, grab his pointy nose, and even if jack rarely carried him, you know those feathers jack has on his shoulders? Will would immediatly fall asleep with those

Once LJ was a bit more ready to care for him, was when he actually started trying

"Alright, i'm your guardian! I hate it! But if i'm stuck with you, i'm going to raise you MY way!"

"I'm the one protecting you so you BETTER say my name as your first word, got it?"

It took him a bit to warm up to him but it eventually came along

Will was a cuddly baby, so he loved to sleep on LJ's shoulder and grab his nose

"let go of my nose before I kill you"

When he was finally attached to will, he was acting more of a parent than anyone.

He would hate it if someone didn't take proper care of him

"you're holding him wrong!"

"he doesn't like to be held like that!"

"you're supposed to put 2 scoops of formula! Not 1!!"

"goddamnit I'm doing most of the work here!!!"

"if yall wanted a kid you should atleast know to care for it!"

Will's first word was JJ.

It was his attempt at saying LJ

"holy shit!!! That's not my name but it's close!! I knew it!!"

His mom and dad saw it as insignificant and thought it was just those weird baby noises that babies make

But LJ knew what he meant and was more happy than ever

"he likes me more!! In your face assholes!!"

Will as a toddler

LJ was there for his first words, so he was also there for will's first steps

Will was also a very energetic kid, and once he started crawling and walking, it was more chaos for his parents

They had to baby proof a lot of things

But LJ could keep up with his energy, and sometimes even tire him

Though there was this one time when will called him "daddy" and his dad thought he was calling him but actually, he was talking to LJ

Many think that LJ might hate to be called that sense well, you know, he hates children, but he honestly didn't know how to feel. He was a bit surprised, a bit happy, and confused

He didn't deny it, it was just like

Toddler will: daddy! Daddy!

LJ: um....uh... Lets keep playing ok?

LJ loved will and was happy to care for him and pretty much the hate he had towards him was pretty much gone but, he didn't really know how to feel

He let it slide but will called him that a lot

LJ would get a bit emotional sometimes but he would just try to ignore it and keep playing with will

Or he would just slightly smile

Will as a kid (4-11)

Will was now more aware and way more energetic

Which was more fun for LJ

Will didn't have many friends, except for LJ

Even if he was happy and energetic, will was a shy child at school.

Also he didn't play with anyone except jack

The teachers thought that will was weird and called his parents a lot

The teachers would always say stuff like "he doesn't play with any of the other children, and talks alone like if he were talking with someone else especially someone he says is called" jack", is everything OK at home? Have you seen a family psychologist?"

Will was actually taken to a few therapy sessions but he wasn't diagnosed with any mental illnesses. So people just assumed that will just had a really active imagination and that jack was just an imaginary friend

Though will being "weird" just meant he was gonna be an easy target to get bullied

But jack wouldn't let that happen. He wouldn't let some asshole kids ruin will's childhood

Sometimes when the kids would go to the bathroom or just go to the hallway to the drinking fountain, he would scare them by turning the lights on and off

Or he would even follow them home and would make his claw like hands appear from inside their closets or under their beds.

Sometimes he would even grab their legs which would terrify the kids

They soon stopped bothering will because "jack will come and get you!"

So will had a pretty good childhood thanks to Jack sense he would protect him of pretty much everything

When will was in kindergarden they had arts and crafts, he would sometimes draw his mom and his dad together but mostly his drawings were of jack

The teachers thought the parents were irresponsible because lets say that sometimes will's drawing were a bit graphic or creepy and they thought that it was because will watched too much horror movies

Teacher: what are you drawing, William?

Will: it's Jack and I!

Teacher: oh that's nice! But.. What.. What are you doing with Jack?

Will: We're using the stuff inside the guy's belly to make balloon animals! *keeps drawing* jack said that I'll be a killer when I grow up!

Jack was just a proud clown guardian

Jack's prized possession was a drawing that will made of the two of them. It just made him feel really appreciated. Also he encouraged will to play with the kids but will just preferred LJ

LJ: you know that you can play with the other kids right?

Will: i don't want to! I don't like the other kids! I want to be with you, you're my best friend!

It was just fun with will that someday jack would spend days laughing and laughing that sometimes it felt like he would get his colors back

Also will learned to cuss at a young age. And everyone can already guess where he got that from

He was a horror movie fan

Which is why he always said "i want to be like Jason when I grow up!"

"i want to do what leatherface does!"

"I'm going to be just like ghostface!"

But when LJ told him about the pastas, is when he started admiring them

"when I grow up, I'm going to work for slenderman!!"

Also you know in that one comic page where will was at the institution and said "i am the one and only grossman! And I will become the greatest killer the world and the underworld has ever seen!"

Well he had been saying that ever sense he was a kid

Will's mom was a really caring and nice mother but she would soon start getting angry every time will said he wanted to be a killer

Everytime the family got together or the neighbors would ask will what he wanted to be when he grew up, will's mom would always get embarrassed and try to change the answer

Neighbor: what do you want to be when you grow up?

Will: i want to be a killer!

Mom: AN ACTOR!! he wants to be an actor!! He just.. Um... Has seen so many horror movies and well he likes the actors! So he wants to be one!

Will would always get scolded by his mom or get grounded

"William, i told you a million times!!! Stop saying you want to be a killer!!! That doesn't exists! Just choose something normal!!"

William would sometimes just stand or sit in the corner and cry

LJ was always there to comfort him

"Don't cry buddy! Don't listen to that bitch! You will be a killer!"

His mom would get annoyed a lot of will talking about LJ

"You're six!!! You're old enough to know that jack is just an imaginary friend!"

"He's not imaginary!!!!"

And ever sense will knew about the underworld, that's the only place he would talk about.

Will: LJ please take me with you!! I want to go to the under realm! I want to meet jeff the killer! And ben! And masky! And slenderman!

LJ: i can't take you now but i promise i will when you're older!

Will loved his parents but he slowly started disliking them.

His mom always seemed embarrassed of him and his dad was becoming distant

The day that his parents got divorced, he did cry a few days.

He would always ask LJ "did dad leave because of me?"

But jack was there to reassure him it wasn't his fault.

"He's just a deadbeat bitch dad! But i'll be here for you! You don't need him!"

LJ pretty much took a fatherly role to will but never realised it

In will's school he had this "bring your parent to school day" thing and he didn't tell his mom, he wanted LJ to come

LJ didn't have a human disguise like the other pastas sense he was technically an imaginary friend. So he had to consult the rulers of hell to give him a temporary one or grant him that ability

LJ: Come on please! He really wants me to attend! Lend me a fucking hand here!

Paimon: i don't know, your job is just to protect him, you don't NEED to attend something as simple as a school event, he has his mother

LJ: i know but my boy wants ME to come! He doesn't want his damn mother to go!

Yeah, LJ called him "his boy"

He was more of a father than ever even if he didn't admit it

Bael: *sighs* fine, we'll give you a disguise just for today

LJ: yes! Thank you!

And LJ was able to go to will's school, he just presented himself as will's uncle

Will was happier than ever

Jack tried to act normal so he made up lies of his career

"Oh um i'm a....surgeon!"

Being a surgeon was the closest thing to his actual job. I mean, they both take out people's guts right?

Will as a teen (13-17) (basically now)

Will had a bit of an emo phase but not completely. It only appeared whenever he was with his mom

Only when he was with his mom he was distant and always seemed annoyed

He became the typical angsty teen. Started drinking, getting piercings, dying his hair, wear black, eyeliner, etc

Mom: another piercing?!

Will: yeah! Why do you care!?! I'm already an embarrassment to you aren't i?!

They would get into arguments a lot

Especially because of his sexuality

His mom didn't respect will's privacy so he would always check his texts, pictures, etc

"You're talking with girls AND boys?!?!"

Will was bisexual but only LJ knew obviously.

"If my boy likes guys then fucking let him!!! Stupid bitch!!!"

Though no matter who won the argument, it always ended with will crying or just laying on his bed listening to music

William would run away a LOT

Him and LJ had found an abandoned hospital where they would always hang out.

Will could be himself with LJ

His mood and attitude completely changed there.

They would drink beer together, tell jokes, prank random people in the streets, or just do random things

"Look at this street sign i stole!!"

But how did will finally go to the underworld? A family argument in will's 16th birthday

His mom invited everyone to the house.

But will was uninterested

And his mom like always, didn't want to "be embarrassed" by will, so he forced him to wear something else besides black, to take all of his piercings off, and didn't let him dye his hair

Everyone was there eating together

But will, like always, was distant

Uncle: so how are things in school?

Will: everything's fine

Cousin: what college are you going to?

Will: *shrugs*

Will hated his party.

LJ: enjoying your sweet 16? Haha!

Will: i hate it....

LJ frowned seeing him upset in his own birthday, but he gave him something

LJ: hey, i got you a little something! I know you want to be a killer so here!

He gave will the bird mask

Will: ! My...my first killer mask?!

LJ: yep!

Will: holy shit!!! Thank you! *puts it on* i love it!! I look like an actual serial killer!

LJ: i knew you would like it!

Will was super happy with his mask but he was called outside to cut the cake

"Cut your cake bud! Once this party is over, how about we go get some drinks?"

Will smiled "alright!"

He went out to cut his cake.

A few hours later though, everything was ruined

Will had another argument with his mom.

Will: I'M your son!!! Not them!!! Why do you like them more?!

Mom: i do like you will! I just...i just want you to be normal like them! I want you to want a normal career! To do better in school! To dress differently, and like girls!

Will: i DO like girls!!!

Mom: then why were you talking to boys?!?

Everyone just looked at will in shock

Will: b-because.....because i'm fucking bisexual!!! I like boys AND girls!! I'm not gay!!! There's a difference!!!

Mom: but you like boys!! That's not normal!! Nothing of you is normal!! Liking boys isn't normal! And being a killer isn't normal either!!

Will: oh so you hate me for being me?!?! I fucking hate you!!! You make my life a living hell!!!

Will stormed off to his room and locked himself and started sobbing.

Jack saw everything. He would have killed will's mom but everyone was there, plus he wasn't allowed to (a disadvantage of having a deal with the rulers of hell)

Will felt humiliated infront of the whole family

Jack saw how upset he was, so that's when he finally made up his mind

LJ: hey, remember when i told you i was bringing you to the underworld one day?

Will: *wiping away his tears* y-yeah?

LJ: well, that's today!

Will: wait, really?!?

Will immediately sat up his a smile on his face

LJ: yep! How about we leave this place? Let's go to to the underworld! You won't have to worry about your mom anymore! Or that shitty family of yours!

Will: yes!!!!! Yes I'd love that!!!

LJ: then pack your things and lets go!

Will got up from his bed and started packing. And once he was done, he just stood up smiling with his bags in hand

Will: let's go!!

LJ covered will's eyes with his hands.

And before Will knew it, he was in the underworld.

And that's when will finally started a new life.

LJ didn't have a luxurious life to give will but will loved it. Even if they lived in a shitty apartment, will was more happy than ever.

Will was still underage so LJ took care of getting him registered as an official underworld citizen and getting all the paper work done to have full custody of will as his guardian

So he basically adopted will

Will: i can actually be a killer here right?

LJ: yep! There's actually an institution for killers! So I'll start working on enrolling you in!

Will: yes!!!

And that's basically how their lives started

#mine #my post #creepypasta #william grossman #will grossman #Laughing jack

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