#anyway i am 30 or 40 years old and too damn tired for this

[alliswyattonthewesternfront]

a violent ex who stalked me a decade ago, who i have not thought about since i put an end to his shit back in 2014, just liked a photo of mine from 3 years ago with his latest instagram account.

what's that meg thee stallion line? ain't hit this pussy in years, damn, i knew my shit was heat? she really nailed it with that one

#i am not currently in any physical danger btw #this man is 120lbs soaking wet and couldnt hit the broadside of a barn with a sawed off #my only concern would be my workplace #and even if he figures it out the corporate structure is so confusing he will never know who to email #anyway i am 30 or 40 years old and too damn tired for this

[batfam-rewrites]

Batfam During Quarantine: Retirement

Dick pulls up in front of the apartment that Barbara and her family lives in. He takes out his boom box and sets in a cassette tape. He sets the volume to the maximum setting. He holds the boom box over his head as Peter Gabriel’s “In Your Eyes” starts playing.

Dick: BABS!!!!

He waits out there for a few minutes until she opens up the window and leans out of it.

Barbara: You Dick!

The song ends and starts playing “I Don’t Want To Miss A Thing” from Aerosmith.

Dick: BABS! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! PLEASE TALK TO ME!

Neighbor 1: GO HOME!

Dick: I’M DOING THIS FOR LOVE!

Neighbor 2: LOVE IS DEAD YOU SCHMUCK!

Dick: YOU’RE HEART IS DEAD!

Neighbor 3: SHUT THE FUCK UP KID!

Jim Gordon: DICK, IT IS 5 AM! GO THE FUCK HOME!

Dick: FINE!

The next night

Dick walks up to the door to the Gordon family’s apartment. He knocks on the door and Jim opens the door.

Dick: Hey Jim, I was sorta expecting Babs to open the door.

Jim: *looks at the cards in Dick’s hands* Just take a hint kid. You’re making this harder than it needs to be.

Dick: I’m persistent, it’s part of my charm.

Jim: Whatever. *shuts the door*

A minute late Barbara opens the door.

Dick: *holding the cards*

Barbara: They’re facing you.

Dick: *looks down and flips the cards around* “Babs, I know I messed things up by *flips the card* not telling you Helena was staying at the *flips the card* mansion. I want you to know that you are *flips the card*

Barbara: *shuts the door on Dick*

Dick: I still have twenty-something cards left. At least finish reading them.

Two days later at the grocery store

Barbara is walking down the aisle looking for food. The music playing over the speakers as a voice replaces the music.

Dick: You’re just to good to be true. Can’t take my eyes off of you. You'd be like Heaven to touch. I wanna hold you so much. 

Barbara starts looking around the store for Dick and sees him leaning against a wall with one of the phones.

Dick: *notices Barbara and points to hear and then makes a heart with his hands* At long last, love has arrived. And I thank God I'm alive. You're just too good to be true. Can't take my eyes off of you. *plays the instrumental part on his phone*

A store employee now spots Dick and heads towards him.

Dick: I love you, baby. And if it's quite alright. *struggles to keep possession of the phone* Get away, you’ll sing next. I need you baby *still fighting for the phone* To warm the lonely night. *starts climbing between the wall and the refrigerated section* I love you, baby. Trust in me when I say.

Barbara starts walking away embarrassed.

Dick: Oh, pretty baby, wait Babs, where you going? Babs? Babs? BAAABBS! LET ME ME LOVE YOUUUUU!

Daily Briefing

Dick: Okay, while things are a bit peaceful now, they’re not going to stay that way forever. Let’s try to plan ahead now and see if we can recruit any former members of Batman Inc. Tim, Steph, and Duke, you guys need to try and convince Luke to come out of retirement. Kate and Babs you go try and convince Bette to join us in Gotham.

Jason: What are the rest of us doing?

Dick: Selina, Jason, Harper, Cass, and Damian will patrol and hand out mask later today....

Harper: Cool, glad I can finally do something!

Jason: Got it!

Dick: And I will be sulking in my room!

Damian: Try again, Grayson.

Dick: I will be on patrol and handing out mask as Nightwing! Julia will be on monitor duty and Helena, tonight you’ll be on sanitation duty.

Helena: *sexually* Whatever you say.

Selina: Oh god!

Duke: Please stop!

Tim: There is a child present!

Jason: *Laughs hysterically* Am I the only one who still thinks this is funny?

Stephanie: Apparently so!

Dick: Alright, let’s get moving.

Tim, Duke, Stephanie, and Luke

Tim: Damn, it’s nice to finally be out of the mansion!

Duke: We were on patrol almost every night.

Tim: Yeah, but as Red Robin, not Tim Drake.

Stephanie: I mean, I guess that’s true.

Tim: *knocks on the door* 

Luke: *opens the door* Hey guys, it’s been a while!

Tim: Hey Luke, how have you been!

Luke: Not bad, Tim! What about you guys?

Tim: Could be better!

Stephanie: Not bad!

Duke: Send help!

Luke: Their dysfunction has gotten to you I’m assuming?

Duke: Maybe.

Tim and Stephanie: We’re not dysfunctional!!!

Luke: Relax! I’m talking about the others.

Tim: Kay, coolcoolcool.

Stephanie: Yeah, the others are pretty dysfunctional.

Luke: Anyways, come on in guys. Take a seat in the living room.

All three walk in and sit in the living room.

Tim: Okay I’m going to cut straight to the point, things aren’t going to be so peaceful for so long. It’s only a matter of time until the Joker pops up with a futuristic Batsuit or some dude comes in with a plan to destroy Batman in multiple ways.

Luke: I’m not coming out of retirement, Tim.

Stephanie: Why not?

Luke: Because I can’t stand to go back being some vigilante trying to save the city. I mean don’t you guys get tired of feeling like the weight of this city is pressing down on you every time you put on that mask.

Tim: Yeah, but I mean it’s not that bad.

Luke: When was the last time you slept.

Tim: Like 6 hours. Plus 2 days.

Luke: That’s my point! This is a thankless job that you guys work your ass off for.

Duke: Yeah coming here may have been a mistake. Let’s go guys, Luke’s not coming back.

Stephanie: Why not stay here Duke. I mean, Luke is right. We risk our lives to save some fucks who don’t give two shits whether we live or die. Sure they’d be sad if we did, but they would only be sad because that would mean they’d have to actually defend themselves!

Tim: Yeah, that is a great point!

Stephanie: Woooo let’s get hammered, this is my retirement party fuckers!

Luke: You’re not drinking alcohol! You’re under age!

Stephanie: Whatever! *stands up and walks out the door*

Duke: Tim, let’s go!

Tim: Yeah, I mean it’s probably about time I retired too!

Duke: Damn it!

Damian and Jon

Damian sets up a zoom call with Jon

Damian: Hey, Kent.

Jon: Hey, Wayne.

Damian: Why must you mock me?

Jon: Why must you mock me?

Damian: Goodbye!

Jon: No, wait, I want attention!!!!

Damian: Works like a charm. How’s it going over there?

Jon: Not bad, it’s super boring. I wish I had 50 people staying at my place.

Damian: No you don’t! It is awful. I want to punch Drake constantly, Grayson is always trying to hand out hugs, Todd tried to kill me!

Jon: The hugs don’t sound....

Damian: Row turned my knife into an electric razor...

Jon: How...

Damian: Kyle keeps trying to bond with me, Cain tried to stab me because I stole a waffle from her, Bertinelli and her lust for Grayson is annoying! Honestly, Pennyworth and Thomas are the only ones who haven’t managed to piss me off.

Jon: You know what, I take back what I said earlier.

Damian: Wise choice.

Jon: Hey, remember the time your dad almost adopted me?

Jason: *talking in the hallway*

Damian: That was funny. Hey I got to go, I’m about to go on patrol.

Jon: During the day, I thought you guys were nocturnal.

Damian: No, we are not. We’ll talk later.

Jon: See ya!

Damian: Bye. *rushes to the door to see if he could hear Jason*

Jason: I’ll see you there. *walks off*

Damian: *walks out of his room and sees Selina* 

Selina: Hey Dami, you ready to go on patrol?

Damian: Actually, we have a change in plans.

Nightwing

Nightwing: *sees a kid walking by without a mask, he squats down and waves* Hey what’s up little dude!

Little kid: *runs away from parents and hugs Nightwing*

Parent: Hey! Sorry, we’re still trying to get him to understand what social distancing is.

Nightwing: It’s okay, he’s young, he’ll eventually get the idea. I see that someone lost their mask though! Do you like super heroes kiddo!

Little kid: *nods excitedly* Batgirl is my favorite!

Nightwing: Really! Batgirl is my favorite, too! Hey, let’s get you another mask buddy! *reaches into the box of mask he has and hands a Batgirl mask to the parent to put on the kid’s face*

Parent: Thank you so much! *puts the mask on the little kids face*

Nightwing: No problem! Stay safe! *waits a bit longer and puts in an earbud*

Nightwing: *sees another guy not wearing a mask* Hey, how about we wear a mask buddy!

Guy: Piss off!

Nightwing: Come on. Let’s try to think about everyone else.

Guy: Who cares! If I get the virus I won’t die! It’s only the old people who are dying! 

Nightwing: Okay, please tell me your joking.

Guy: I mean, you don’t really see much other people dying.

Nightwing: If you pay attention to the statistics you would see that there are other people who are 20, 30, 40 years old and dying from this virus! Can you just put the mask on?

Guy: Hell no, it’s uncomfortable for me!

Nightwing: UNCOMFORTABLE FOR YOU! I HAVE TO WEAR ONE FOR LEGIT MOST OF THE DAY. OUR CITIES FIRST RESPONDERS MUST WEAR ONE TO DO THEIR DAMN JOBS. NO ONE, ESPECIALLY ME OR ANY NURSE, FIREMAN, POLICE OFFICER, ET CETERA, CARES IF IT BOTHERS YOU! PUT ON THE DAMN MASK!!!

Guy: Damn. *starts walking away*

Nightwing: *grabs cologne* Sir, don’t make me do this.

Guy: Do what? Bit......

Nightwing: *sprays cologne all over the guys face*

Guy: pffft. pfffffftt. 

Nightwing: I bet you’d like a mask now!

Guy: YOU FUCKING SON OF A

Nightwing: *spays the cologne at his face again* Hey! *throws a mask at the guy* No profanity! There’s kids around. Put on the mask, too. 

Guy: *puts the mask on reluctantly and walks away* Stupid vigilante in this stupid damn city. Hate this damn place.

Nightwing: *watches him walk away for a bit* Never thought I’d take a page out of Jay’s book.

Julia: Nightwing, need you over in Gotham Heights. There’s a.... *clears throat*..... situation over there. I’m sending you the coordinates now.

Nightwing: On my way! *takes off firing the grappling hook into the side of a building as he takes off*

Jason

Jason walks towards the house, checking his surroundings to see if any of his “family” members followed him. Fortunate for him, Dick is preoccupied with his thoughts and Damian and Selina left after he did.

He opens the door and walks inside of his safe house. He then sits down, takes off his helmet, sets it down on the table, and turns on the tv to watch Supernatural. Not long after Roy walks downstairs.

Roy: What’s up Jaybird?

Jason: Not much Roy.

Roy then sits down on the couch next to him to watch with him.

Roy: Is it just me or would Jensen Ackles be the perfect person to play you if there was to ever be a movie about you?

Jason: I KNOW, RIGHT!!!! Hey do you want to order some pizza?

Roy: Sure!

Roy begins to pull out his phone when they hear a knock at the door.

Jason: Hide! 

Roy: Hey it’s my safe house, too!

Jason: It’s my city! Hide!

Roy begins to hide as Jason looks outside the door to see Damian and Selina outside the door. 

Jason: *opens the door* Hey Catwoman, Robin! What are you guys doing here?

Damian: More importantly, what are you doing here?

Jason: Following up on a lead. I saw a very shady guy leave here so I’m looking for some evidence.

Selina: Are those your guns on the counter? And your helmet and phone on the table?

Jason: No.

Damian: Then where’s your guns?

Jason: Okay, I hate to admit it, but I came across a dog and decided to pet it, then it bit the barrel of both guns and ran off.

Selina: Mmmmhhhmmmm and why don’t I believe you?

Jason: Because everyone but Duke has trust issues.

Damian: Give it up, Todd.

Jason: Give what up?

Damian: *walks over to the closet and opens the door*

Roy: Woah, how the hell did I get here!

Jason: *shakes his head*

Tim, Duke, Stephanie, and Luke

Duke: Dude, you broke Tim and Steph.

Luke: No I didn’t!

Duke: Really because we came here to try and convince you to be Batwing again and yet you somehow got them both to decide to retire!

Luke: So, they should! They deserve it. No kid should have to deal with that kind of stress!

Duke: Dude, we live in Gotham freaking City. Stress is literally stuff we learn in 6th grade because our parents need us to get jobs!

Luke: You had to get a job in 6th grade?

Duke: Oh right, sorry I forgot you all are rich! Hey, where’s Steph and Tim?

Luke: Outside somewhere.

Duke: DUDE!!!! WE HAVE TO FIND THEM!!!!!!

Luke: They’ll be fine!

Duke: Whatever. *walks towards the door* If you change your mind, you know where to call. *he walks out the door*

____

Tim: *grabs a helium tank* Hey Steph!

Stephanie: *turns around*

Tim: *pulls down the mask and inhales the helium* I am vengeance, I am the night, I am BATMAN!

Stephanie: O-M-G!!! That is amazing!

Jason, Roy, Damian, and Selina

Selina: So again, Jason, what are you doing here?

Jason: Trying to get away from you people! Do you know how often I want to shoot Dick alone from all of the stupid stuff he does! 

Damian: Yes!

Jason: You’re no better. You can not adopt stray animals every week!

Damian: They can catch the virus, too! They need a home!

Jason: They have one! In the wild somewhere!

Selina: What’s your point?

Jason: I needed a place to escape you idiots at the mansion. There’s only so much I can take before I break B’s no killing rule.

Damian: Then why is Harper here?

Roy: Jaybird has been my emotional support person since Kori left Earth for Tamaran.

Selina: I can see that.

Damian: Is this where you’ve been every single patrol?

Jason: Not every one. Only when I get sick of you all. 

Selina: Everyday!!!!

Roy: *laughs uncontrollably*

Jason: Not everyday!!! Look, this is why I need this place, because I can’t stand you fuckers!!! Get out of my house!

Damian: How did you even pay for this place?

Jason: I USED TO KILL PEOPLE FOR A LIVING!!!!

Selina: Jason, your not supposed to even be here. We need to leave now.

Jason: Yes you fucking should!

Selina: I meant all of us!

Jason: Good luck with that! You’ll have to drag me out.

Damian: Just watch us do it!

Roy: This is getting a bit personal, I’m gunna grab my bow and leave.

Jason: Stay Roy!

Roy: Okay, I’ll stay!

Selina: How are we so awful? What is it that we do that bothers you so much?

Jason: I don’t want to talk about it!

Selina: What is it?

Jason: You guys make me want to actually be a part of the family! You guys care for me, and make fun of me *starts crying* and make me laugh, and it’s not fucking fair!

Selina: Jason..... I’m.... I’m sorry. Why are you crying?

Jason: Because this shit has always been unfamiliar to me! Family has always been fucked up for me before Bruce. When he took me in I didn’t know how to feel because at that point my life was filled with rage, sadness, and confusion. *sits down on the couch* Then came in Dick, who at first made me feel at home with how much he hated the fact that I replaced him, until a few months go by for him to accept me as a brother he never had. Then I fuckin’ died!

Selina: *sits down next to Jason* It’s okay if you want some time away from us, I understand now that this is new. We won’t ever stop loving you Jason. If you ever need a break from us then I’ll cover for you, just don’t be out for too long.

Jason: Thanks Selina.

Roy: *starts humming Love Is A Battlefield*

Selina: Are you humming Love Is A Battlefield?

Jason: He is so humming Pat Benatar right now.

Roy: No, you’re all just hearing things.

Damian: Who’s Pat Benatar?

Jason: Okay, GET OUT!!!!

Selina: *rushes themselves out the door* Let’s go Dami, we’ve overstayed our welcome!

Damian: But my phone!

Roy and Jason: GET OUT!

Tim and Stephanie

Stephanie: *dancing in a strangers house* Woooo!!!

Tim: *break dancing to “Dirrty” in the middle of a dance circle*

Stephanie: *nudges the person next to her* I’m friends with that guy!

Stranger: Nice!

Stephanie: I know right!

Tim: *steps out of the dance circle* Hey!

Stephanie: How many Red Bulls did you have?

Tim: How many legs does a wolf-tigark have.

Stephanie: What!

Tim: I’m super fucked up!

Stephanie: Same! Wanna have sex?

Tim: Sure!

Duke, Cassandra, and Harper

Duke: Hey, Harper! Do you remember that time you were totally surrounded by the Riddler’s henchmen and I swooped in and saved you, and you were like “Thanks dude! You’re the best! I totally owe you one!”

Harper: Yes, I remember part of that being true!

Duke: Well, I need you to return that favor and you can not tell any of the others. I lost Tim and Stephanie and need help finding them.

Harper: What the hell Duke! How did this happen?

Duke: Well, Luke broke Tim and Steph, causing them to decide to retire, then they disappeared.

Harper: Okay, Orphan and I will be right there after we take down these two drug dealing pimps!

Duke: Thank you!

Harper: *hangs up the phone* Okay, let’s take care of this Orphan!

They both jump down landing a kick to their chest. Harper then grabbed her dudes arm and broke his wrist, finally stomping on his face, knocking the dude out. Cass walked towards her guy reaching down and throwing him against a wall, then kicking his back.

Nightwing

Nightwing: *arrives at the apartment door*

Boyfriend: YOU STUPID BITCH! WHY CAN’T YOU DO ANYTHING RIGHT! 

Girlfriend: *through tears* I’m sorry!

Boyfriend: *slaps the girlfriend* SHUT UP BITCH!

Nightwing: *knocks on the door*

Boyfriend: *opens door* Can I help you?

Nightwing: Yes hi. I was walking around the neighborhood and wanted to know if you wanted to donate to the charity of whoop-ass?

Boyfriend: Not interested. *tries to close the door*

Nightwing: *pushes the door open* Hold on, you need to hear the rest of my pitch! *kicks the boyfriend in the chest* 

Girlfriend: *still crying* NO! PLEASE STOP!

Nightwing: Wha-

Boyfriend: *tries to throws a few punch at Nightwing’s face*

Nightwing: *drops to the floor and goes for a flare, sweeping the boyfriend off his feet*

The sound of sirens is heard out side.

Nightwing: *temporarily distracted by the sirens*

Boyfriend: *gets up* YOU CALLED THE COPS! YOU UNGRATEFUL GOOD FOR NOTHING BITCH! *tries to punch his girlfriend*

Nightwing: *catches his fist* Not gunna happen. *tosses the boyfriend against the wall and has him put his hands over his head*

Police Officer: G-C-P-D! GET YOUR..... Oh, Nightwing? How random seeing one of you guys here. Like always. *goes in to arrest the boyfriend*

Nightwing: *kneels down to where the girlfriend is sitting and takes note of the cuts and marks on her arms* Are you okay?

Girlfriend: I-*sob* I don’t *sob* know what *sob* I did *sob* wrong?

Nightwing: You did nothing wrong. Everything will be okay. Did he hit you?

Girlfriend: *nods her head yes*

Nightwing: Where did he hit you?

Girlfriend: *looks up to reveal a black eye and cuts on her face* My *sob* face, arms *sob*, stomach. *buries her head in her arms and starts to cry even harder*

Nightwing: Hey, it’s going to be okay. It’s all going to be okay. 

Nightwing tries the best he can to comfort the girl before the EMT arrived. After that he stuck around for a bit to give a statement of what happened when he arrived and to make sure everything was fine before he left.

Duke, Stephanie, Tim, Harper, and Cassandra

Stephanie: *wakes up* Ugh. My head! *she looks over at Tim and smiles as she gets out of the bed*

Tim: *starts to wake* Ow! *sees Stephanie* Hey!

Stephanie: Hey! 

Tim: *sits up on the bed*

Stephanie: Look about what happened, can we agree it was a drunk mistake.

Tim: Yeah! *rubs the back of his head and stands up close to Stephanie* I’m sorry, I can’t pretend! *he pulls her in and kisses her* I really like you!

Stephanie: I like you, too.

Tim: Wanna crawl back under the covers again for a bit?

Stephanie: Absolutely!

____

Desk Clerk: Thank you, hope you enjoyed your stay!

Tim: We certainly did, thank you! *both Stephanie and Tim walk out the door and see Duke, Cassandra, and Harper* 

Stephanie: Hey, you found us!

Duke: Get in the car!

Harper: Spent most of the night looking for you suckers until we saw that Tim used his credit card to purchase a hotel room there! 

Tim: We’re sorry you had to go searching for us!

Duke: Also, if you are even still thinking about retiring, you’re going to have to tell Bruce yourself.

Stephanie: We’re not retiring. We probably just thought it was a good idea because we were both sleep deprived.

Duke: Good, because I didn’t want to see Bruce lose his shit!

Dick and Julia/Dick and Jason

Back at the Batcave

Julia: How did it go?

Dick: Rough. That building was well into Harper’s sector though, why did you have me take care of it?

Julia: I think you know why.

Dick: *thinks for a moment* Because of the way I’ve been reacting to my breakup with Bab’s.

Julia: If you stopped thinking of how to win her back for one second, you would see that she is most likely suffering as much as you are. 

Dick: I understand. I’m going to head upstairs. Don’t stay down here much longer, that’s an order.

Julia: Are you still entitled to give orders?

Dick: I still get to wear the cowl, don’t I?

Julia: Fair enough.

Dick quickly showers and heads upstairs.

Jason: Hey, Dickwad. Over here.

Dick: Sup, Jay?

Jason: Follow me.

Jason leads Dick to the parking garage and into one of Bruce’s cars and drives to the safe house.

Jason: Welcome, to the safe house. I heard you had a rough day so I thought it would be worth it to take you here. Wayne house free zone so feel free to cry, let out your feeling, whatever you need to do to process this. I’ll wait in the car.

Dick: *crying* Jay.

Jason: Yeah.

Dick: *hugs Jason* Thank you!

Jason: No problem. If you tell Bruce, I will end you though.

Dick: Got it!

While I try to make these stories for the most part humorous and entertaining, domestic violence is a very serious topic. Since quarantine, domestic violence rates have gone up. If you or some one you know is in an abusive relationship or has found themselves in one since quarantine began, don’t hesitate to call the Domestic Violence Support hotline at 1 [phone]. You can also go to thehotline.org to contact them.

If someone you know has just left an abusive relationship (boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife, parent/child) remember to be there for them. Allow them to talk but don’t force them too if they don’t want to. Make sure not to bash the guilty party and respond about them neutrally. Most of all, make sure to let them know that they are still loved, and that they are still the same person, even if they feel that they are not.

I will be reblogging this message on my blog. I ask you to please share and reblog as much as you can.

#batfam #Alfred Pennyworth #batman #bruce wayne #catwoman #Selina Kyle #Batwoman #kate kane #julia pennyworth #batgirl #barbara gordon #nightwing #dick grayson #Huntress #helena bertinelli #red hood #Jason Todd #Red Robin #Tim Drake #spoiler dc #Stephanie Brown #blue bird #harper row #orphan #cassandra cain #signal dc #duke thomas #robin #Damian Wayne #arsenal

[sonic-wildfire]

Emotion Sickness: Diary Entries from Shadow the Hedgehog (Part 1)

Select entries from Shadow’s diary were found and compiled by Sonic (with Shadow’s permission) as an homage to both Shadow’s development and their relationship together. The entries were made between March 2009 and October 2013. This part of the compilation contains the entries made between March 2009 and December 2010.

10:53 PM - 4 March 2009

Hmph. Another day behind me. I crossed paths with Sonic today and he offered to have lunch with me. The request was somewhat flattering, but I turned it down. I don’t really need to eat.

Why is Sonic always so nice to me? It’s a liability to be within ten feet of him at this point, considering how much trouble he gets into. Whatever. I’m better by myself anyway.

5:02 PM - 19 July 2009

Amy visited me today and said she was here on Sonic’s behalf. Don’t know why, but she wanted me to know Sonic was offering to have me over at his place.

Sonic has a permanent home? Who knew?

I thought about it for a bit, but I declined. Again, I don’t understand why Sonic continues to do nice things for me even though I’m the most miserable being on the planet. It’s not that I hate them or anything, but I just can’t get close to anybody else. What if they reject me? What if...

Forget it.

I can’t think about this stuff. I’m going to take a nap. My thoughts are the last thing I need to be with right now.

6:46 PM - 30 November 2009

Wouldn’t you know it, that stubborn blue hedgehog turned up at my door today and again asked me to spend time with him. I was about to just tell him to piss off, but something about this interaction was different. I don’t know what, why, or how, but... it actually sounded appealing this time?

Very hesitantly, I said I’d think about it but don’t expect me to take you up on the offer. He just smiled, said okay, and left. 

Maybe I should at least try to be somewhat charitable for once. I called up Rouge and told her about what had happened and she just teased me over it before hanging up. You know, typical Rouge.

But she did tell me that it was ultimately my decision to make.

Hm. I think I might go after all.

12:25 PM - 2 December 2009

Just got back from having breakfast with Sonic. He was actually surprised I showed up. Honestly? I was surprised, too.

I didn’t talk too much, but Sonic... oh boy, Sonic. It’s like he never ran out of things to talk about. He’s smiling the entire time he’s with me, too. It was almost alluring just how much his bright demeanor contrasted with my moody self.

One of the things Sonic talked about was his friends. I was fully ready to just stop him right then and there (it rubs me the wrong way when anybody mentions friendship), but then he told me I was a “good friend” to him.

I asked him if he was serious. Sonic said yes.

In retrospect, it was certainly more eventful than most days. Perhaps little meetups like this would be healthier for me if I did them every once in a while.

3:59 AM - 28 May 2010

I can’t rest. I keep thinking about Sonic.

We’ve been meeting occasionally like I said I should. The longer I’m with Sonic, the more I begin to see in him what I could’ve been.

He’s a caring, generous man with everything going for him. People like him. He has a purpose in life. He’s coolheaded, rational, and valuable to society.

So why on Earth would Sonic be spending time with me, a reprehensibly depressed alien who is so completely worthless and undeserving of care? How could he possibly like me when I don’t even like myself?

I’m tired and tears are pricking at the corners of my eyes. I need to talk to someone in the morning.

1:51 AM - 29 May 2010

I called Rouge and told her about last night. She wasn’t very vocal, but she did offer a little encouragement. She said I don’t get enough sleep and that a little bit of rest would put me at ease for a bit. But I’m still on edge. What does Sonic see in me that I don’t? Or am I just overthinking this? My thoughts are erratic right now, so I’m sorry to anyone reading if this doesn’t make sense.

Ugh.

I can feel tears welling up in my eyes already.

I’m so weak. I’m so pathetic.

Who would ever want to spend time with someone like me?

All I do is brood in the corner of the room all day and be an asshole to everybody. I don’t understand how anybody could be tolerant of me, much less a “friend.”

Yet... I’m still drawn to Sonic. For whatever reason, he’s just so inviting. He’s nice. Too nice.

11:32 AM - 8 August 2010

Over the past few months, Sonic and I have been visiting each other more often, and not much has changed.

From me, at least.

Sonic has been growing even kinder towards me than before. Sometimes, he’ll give me small gifts like a scarf. Other times, he’ll ask me about myself. If I were ready, I would’ve just spilled my true feelings about myself right then and there.

But I wasn’t ready. So I just talked about the very few things I did find enjoyment in. Gardening, space, and Chao. I begged him to never tell anybody about what I said to him, and he looked at me like I had three heads but vowed to keep it a secret anyway.

I just don’t know. Sonic’s a good guy, but... I can’t bring myself to be friendly with him. If I start growing close with people, they’ll just die or leave me and I’ll be heartbroken again just like last time. I can’t go through that again. I’m not strong enough.

I appear tough on the outside. But the truth is, I’m always on the verge of breaking down. My mental state is so volatile and virtually uncontrollable.

Chaos damn it, just get out of my head already!

3:40 PM - 23 December 2010

The holiday season. A time for joy, reminiscing on the past, looking forward to the new year, and exchanging gifts.

For everybody else, that is.

Ever since I came here, I’ve spent every Christmas alone.

All the others have a big gathering at Sonic’s house, having a good time (allegedly). I was never interested in these and I always declined every single invitation I got from Sonic. Yet, like clockwork, he still sends me one every year. Maybe hoping that I’ll change my mind one year.

After a lot of self-reflection over the past year, though, I’m not sure how much more invitations I can reject before Sonic gives up trying.

I crumble in social situations. Interacting with anybody other than Rouge, Omega, or Sonic for more than ten seconds takes an insane amount of willpower.

Something has to give. Either I go for once or they stop trying.

12:48 AM - 24 December 2010

I’ve decided I need to go. Maybe bring one of my Chao if things go wrong. I’m not necessarily doing this because I want to go. In fact, I’d be a lot happier if I didn’t go because at least I know things can’t go wrong if I’m by myself.

But I can’t stop thinking about Sonic and his friends. It drives me crazy.

9:21 PM - 24 December 2010

Party’s tomorrow. Note to self: don’t fuck this up.

11:17 PM - 26 December 2010

How quickly things can change has always amazed me. Tonight proved that.

Everybody was really surprised to see me showing up, but they said they were all grateful I showed up. Sonic, of course, was the first to welcome me, giving me a hug that admittedly felt like a breath of fresh air after so much time alone. Then again, I have a reputation so I needed to act like he was crushing me to death.

I didn’t spend much time talking with other people, though I did exchange some small talk with Rouge. The usual.

As the party grew longer, I found myself being... complimented by others?

Knuckles said he hoped I was “doing well.” Cream gave me a single flower while wishing me a merry Christmas. Tails shyly waved at me (I put on a smile and waved back). Omega said I was “one of the only creatures made of flesh” he trusted.

I’m sorry. Did these people forget who they were talking to?

Dinner was fine, though I was particularly eager about the sweets. Oh, right, I forgot to mention I have a knack for candy. The more you know.

Of course, then it was time for gifts. I swear you could fill the Grand Canyon with the sheer amount of presents under the tree. I guessed that roughly three of those were for me, ready to be mailed to me if I didn’t show up.

So you can imagine my surprise when I saw eight presents being dropped into my lap and all of them reading “To: Shadow.”

We all took turns opening our presents. I had two presents from Amy (a coffee mug and a Chao toy), one present from Espio (a kunai), one present from Tails (a bag of coffee beans), one present from Knuckles (a Kill la Kill DVD) and... three presents from Sonic?!

The first one was classic Sonic stuff. A sweater with the word “faker” sewed on the chest. He thought that one was really funny. I didn’t really care.

The second one was more genuine. A pair of rocket boosters for my shoes. My old ones are just about dead, so this was welcome.

The third one... subverted all expectation. It was a small box that contained a piece of paper. It read:

“Dear Shadow, stay after the party and meet me upstairs when the others leave. Signed, Sonic.”

The others were curious about what Sonic meant by this. Silver joked that I was being sent to the principal’s office.

Eventually, the party came to a close and people left. I went upstairs as Sonic had told me, and there he was sitting on the edge of the bed.

He motioned for me to take a seat next to him. I sat down and asked him what he wanted me for, half-expecting something stupid.

“I understand you haven’t had the easiest life...”

I instantly got up to leave. No way I was sticking around to hear this again.

But Sonic grabbed my arm and yanked me back to the bed, his face now spelling genuine concern.

“...I know you mean well. Sometimes, you do things that we think are dumb but actually turn out to be smart. Other times, you just do dumb stuff. But that’s not the point. The point is, I want you to know that I’m still here for you. I can tell you’re bothered by your thoughts. But the bottom line is that I, and we, care about you. We love you, Shadow. I love you. Please don’t think you’re not worthy of being cared about. We have our ups and downs, but we always work it out eventually, right? I know your thought process works differently than mine. That does not make you any less deserving of respect. My greatest wish is that you would love yourself as much as we love you.”

I was stunned. That bastard. Quickly losing my composure, I began blubbering about how I couldn’t stand the thought of getting close to someone just to lose them again. How I’m so terrified that I will just be manipulated and used by people pretending to be my “friend.”

Sonic told me that he would never go away and that he would never “use” me.

Fuck. Fuck.

Sonic embraced me and I’m embarrassed to admit that I began sobbing as I wrapped my arms around him. I swore to myself that I’d never show any kind of weakness around them.

“It’s okay to cry,” he told me. “Don’t be afraid anymore. I’m here now. I’m here.”

“And I always will be. That’s a promise.”

#sth #Sonic the Hedgehog #Shadow the Hedgehog #Sonadow #Shasoni #Sonic Fanfiction #Fanfiction

[snkpolls]

SnK Episode 61 Poll Results (for Manga Readers)

The poll closed with 359 responses. Thank you to everyone who participated!

Please note that these are the results for the Manga Readers’ poll. If you wish to see the results for the Anime Only Watchers’ poll, click here. 

---

RATE THE EPISODE 347 Responses

While this episode wasn’t as big of a hit as episode 60, overall most viewers still enjoyed the content and are looking forward to more next week!

amazing amazing! I'm so delighted with this season so far!

Im so beyond pumped i love everything

Dissapointing but acceptable.

I’m like angry I loved it so much.

I just wish we didn't have to wait a week

It was amazing. We all gotta apologize to MAPPA for ever doubting them.

It's a huge stepdown from episode 1. At times the animation was straight up painful to watch. My expectations were low and yet I'm still disappointed :/

WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING WAS YOUR FAVORITE SCENE/MOMENT? 349 Responses

Reiner-centric scenes were the highest on people’s radar, with 24.9% of respondents enjoying his reunion with the warrior cadets, and not far behind, 22.9% enjoyed Reiner bringing up the 104th at the dinner table. In third, with only 13.5%, was Pieck and Porco’s formal introduction to the audience. 

Hearing Zeke greet his grandparents with such happiness warmed my heart. I do believe that he loves them. 

They just had to add one last image of Ymir's broken face before she died, huh? :(

WE FORGOT TO ASK LAST WEEK D: WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING SCENES/MOMENTS FROM EPISODE 60 WAS YOUR FAVORITE? 348 Responses

Last week we forgot to include what your favorite scenes were. The scene from episode 60 that got the most favor was Reiner’s, “I’m sick and tired… of walls” with 33.6% of the vote. 16.7% most enjoyed Zeke’s titan transforming scream. 14.9% were hyped about Reiner and Porco wrecking Fort Slava.

MAPPA WENT ALL OUT WITH THE CINEMATOGRAPHY IN THIS EPISODE. WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THE CINEMATIC PANS AND ROTOSCOPE ANIMATION? 349 Responses

Overall, a total of 74.5% respondents have positive feelings about MAPPA’s use of rotoscope animation and camera panning. Some felt like it was akin to watching a movie, while others are just happy to have the dynamic movement. A smaller amount of respondents didn’t have feelings one way or another, and a minority (about 10.3%) really are not a fan of this type of animation style for the series.

It felt odd sometimes as they used it for long scenes (like Udo talking or Gabi telling the story to her family) but overall it was pretty great and I prefer it to WIT's stale animation during season 3

I liked the more dynamic movement during dialogue, but my roommate found it super awkward and off-model. So a fifty-fifty split in a sample size of two lol

It could have been animated better, but I like the extra dimension it gives to scenes

Enjoyed it a lot! However, there were a few scenes that felt a bit off, like some frames were missing. Specifically, when Udo was doing all those gestures while talking with the rest of the Warrior Candidates.

It felt dynamic to the point of looking unnatural - some gestures and expressions just moved wrong

i'm split, in some scenes it was great (like reiner waking up), but in the dialogue scenes the constant movement seemed kinda unnatural and distracting

It was amazing but at the same time I'd didn't look fluid enough, especially at Udo's mouvements which made the character look kind of...video game-ish in constant moving. 

I thought it looked great the rotoscoping,the movements all looked amazing

The animation during Urdu’s scene is so cool!  I was caught of guard at first though lol. It’s so realistic!

NOW THAT WE’VE GOTTEN TO HEAR A LITTLE MORE OF THE NEW OST TRACKS, HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE SOUNDTRACK SO FAR THIS SEASON? 344 Responses

So far, reception to the newer music is overall positive. 31.1% are really enjoying the music and think the songs are being used immaculately, and 40.4% really feel that the song choice compliments the scenes they’ve been used in. 13.1% think the songs are good, but miss having that sole Sawano feel to them. 10.8% just feel the music is “ok” and 2.6% aren’t a fan of the new OST tracks so far. 

I mean it sounds good, but we haven't gotten to important moments that require a memorable track, so we'll see!

First episode slapped because it really complemented the scene but it's more... generic. I didn't like how it was used in this episode, there wasn't enough of it and again, generic. I miss Sawano's unreal scores.

the animation absolutely blew me away, and i love the intense music that played during Reiners monologue 

The music is fine.

I've heard both new and old songs from the previous seasons. Still too soon to make an opinion as we need to hear more.

I am deaf, I can't hear no damn soundtracks 

That music guys when they came back to Liberio and reuniting with they parents, made me tear up but also because the scouts never had the chance to go back home with victory in the arms of their family, I wish I could have seen EMA like this.. It kinda felt unfair X) but I was happy for them nevertheless.

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE CLOSEUP OF ZEKE’S MOUTH? 346 Responses

Our first of probably too many crack questions in this poll, 32.7% thought the closeup of Zeke lighting his cigarette was cool looking. 21.4% are concerned about Zeke’s lung health. 19.1% are probably annoyed with us and simply don’t care (lol). 13.3% wouldn’t mind smooching Zeke, and 11% were just plain grossed out.

Does smoke even affect a titan shifter? Surely his lungs just heal themselves

ASMR for the eyes, right there. Aww yiss

It was awesome! Zeke is shown as relaxed person with a big drop of mystery. 

Smoking Bad but he is gonna die in a year anyway

Suuuuuuucc

It might've just been an artistic choice to include it in there, but i gotta say I'm oddly fascinated and idk why

I don’t remember it lol

I didn't even notice.

Zeke looks hotter than he has ever looked

WHAT’S YOUR OPINION ABOUT ELDIAN ASSES? 341 Responses

Most of the responses seemed to feel rather positively about Eldian asses, with almost 40% seeking out Zeke’s ass wiping technique. About 17% simply stated their appreciation for them, while almost 13% are just thirsty. In contrast, a little over 17% seemed confused to the question’s inclusion and about 10% were confused outright. 

MAPPA WHERE IS PIECK'S ASS

More into Eldian thighs, really

I bet Levi’s is nice

If only Eren had one

zeke has the energy of a straight man who doesn't wash his ass

Only Shadis' ass

GIVE IT TO ME 😏😏

They are like normal, human asses. Do not turn them into some magical, special snowflakes, just because they belong to Eldians. 

Seek help

Enough

DO YOU WANT REINER TO GIVE YOU A HEAD PAT? 343 Responses

A definitive majority, almost 59 percent, openly expressed enthusiasm for the prospect of a head pat from Reiner. However, a near 30% fraction of responders didn’t seem too happy about this recent chain of less than serious questions. We’re sorry about that. 😅. The rest either didn’t seem interested in said prospect or noted they wouldn’t care either way.

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THE DECISION FROM MAPPA TO CONDENSE REINER’S FLASHBACK INTO (PRESUMABLY) A SINGLE EPISODE? 346 Responses

It would appear that the majority of those who took our poll express cautious optimism at the prospect of seeing all (or the vast majority) of Reiner’s backstory being adapted into a single episode, with a near 47% supporting the move, thinking it could make the narrative “more coherent”. Almost 20% argue it would work better pacing wise. On the flipside, just over 17% state that they would rather have a more accurate adaptation to the manga. 11.6% simply say they have no opinion. There were also more than a few write-ins.

I do wish everything could be animated to full detail, but pacing and structure will benefit here

They've done a good job so far, so I'll reserve judgement until I actually watch it.

It will be difficult as they're chapters with loads of dialogue, but they can pull it off if unnecessary stuff gets cut out or changed in some type of way (like watching Marcel's death for the sixth time, them breaking through the wall or even Jean and Eren fighting) 

If they get the pacing right, then the rearrangement will be for the better.

Reiner flashbacks + Reiner suicide attempt + Falco meeting "Kruger" (more than 2,5 chapters) in a single episode? HELL NO! WTF MAPPA!  

Worried and cautiously optimistic.

At least it looks like they're going to stick to just one episode for the RBA flashback. It was mostly just filler anyway, so there was never any need to stretch it out and waste precious time getting back to the Paradis side of the story

I doubt that that's exactly how it is, but if so, then I don't think that that's a wise idea

It’s gonna be rushed as hell

Reiner flashback is very long and there is tons of dialogue, so I dont know how its going fit in only one episode, but if they can make it work then its fine for me

WHICH CHARACTER DESIGN DID YOU LIKE BEST IN COMPARISON TO THE MANGA? 346 Responses

This question gave us a somewhat evenly split pie chart, but Porco nonetheless managed to gain the bigger piece with just over 55%. Surely due to that bomber jacket and haircut. Nearly 45% picked Pieck (gottem) instead. Must have been the somewhat inconsistent nose. 

WHO’S SEIYUU DID YOU LIKE BEST? 335 Responses

On the flip side, 68.4% seemed to prefer Pieck’s soft voice. Porco with his (how the hell does Porco sound like… how can you describe his voice) managed to win the hearts of 31.6% of responses.

Pieck voice wtf? I imagined Pieck with a more Hanji-ish voice, not this sweet and high pitched.

DID MAPPA DO PIECK’S NOSE JUSTICE? 345 Responses

The debacle over Pieck’s POWERFUL nose gave us quite a colorful pie chart. Almost 39% of responses noted that Mappa was on point with Pieck’s nose for most of the episode. Afterwards, 26.7% stated that they thought that Mappa got it right only in some points of the episode. On the flip side, another 26.7% thought that Mappa was generally quite on point throughout the entire episode. A small minority (7.8%) thought that Mappa simply did a poor job. 

The animation is good, and while I don't want to complain, I have a small problem with the drawings themselves. I feel like they lack precision (like Pieck's nose, idk if that's clear).

I'm grateful for Pieck's nose. I always respected Isayama for drawing imperfect characters, because this way he has made them to look more realistic. Even though Pieck has so-called imperfect nose, she is still absolutely gorgeous. Her imperfections are part of what makes her beautiful and unique.

PORCO’S HAIR - WERE YOU TEAM RED HAIR OR BLOND HAIR? AND ARE YOU HAPPY WITH HIS ANIME COLOR SCHEME? 345 Responses

A far less controversial debacle concerned Porco’s hair scheme. The folks supporting a Blond color scheme were universally content with his hair color (all 57.4% of team Blond). On the flip side, an almost universal approval was also present from team Redhead (13.6% of those supported his blond hair color). 27.5% of the responses seemed to care not about this issue at all, however.

NOW THAT WE KNOW PORCO BETTER IN THE MANGA, DO YOU THINK HE WOULD HAVE *ACTUALLY* DONE A BETTER JOB THAN REINER IF HE HAD INHERITED THE ARMOR AND WENT TO PARADIS? 348 Responses

Porco inheriting the Armored Titan is a rather interesting what-if scenario. Perhaps of the most interesting as a whole, so it’s no surprise to see a rather divided opinion of those who took our poll. A little over 36% believe that Porco doing a better job than Reiner on Paradis is a definite possibility. Just over 24% believe it’s not likely Porco would have done better than Reiner. On the flip side, 21.6% think that is is likely Porco *would* have a more successful conduct on the island. 9.2% believe that Porco’s success is a given and in opposition to that, 8.9% think that Porco’s success would have been basically impossible.

HOW ABOUT IF PIECK HAD GONE TO PARADIS WITH THE WARRIORS? 346 Responses

Much less division here, however. 70.5% of responders believe that Pieck’s possible trip to Paradis (in the initial attack) would have not have resulted in a given “mission success” for the Warriors, although she would have been a rather useful ally. Nearly a quarter, on the other hand, think that Pieck’s inclusion would have ended the story right then and there. The rather small minority of the other responders think that Pieck would not have been useful had she participated in the mission.

GABI HAS ALWAYS BEEN A CONTROVERSIAL CHARACTER. HAS MAPPA BRINGING HER TO LIFE CHANGED YOUR FEELINGS TOWARD HER? 342 Responses

64.6% of respondents overall have positive feelings toward Gabi as of right now, with 39.5% having already been enjoying her character throughout the manga. 25.1% now view her more positively with her being brought to life. 20.2% don’t really care about Gabi either way, and 11.7% feel very negatively toward Gabi, without the anime swaying their opinions. 

Gabi still sucks

Sakura ayane as gabi is probably the best thing to happen to me all year

WITH SUCH A DIALOGUE-HEAVY ARC, CUTS WERE INEVITABLE. WHICH CUTS WERE YOU DISAPPOINTED IN, AND WHICH CUTS CAN YOU LIVE WITH?

Overwhelmingly, the scenes that were most missed by manga readers were “Pieck walking on all fours/scaring Porco”, “Zeke mentioning the Ackerman Clan”, “Reiner’s smirk when his family talks about ‘Island Devils’”, and “The imagery of Eren and Armin wrecking ships”. Smaller character details, such as Reiner mentioning how he acted like Marcel on Paradis, Gabi wishing to understand Reiner’s feelings, Falco pointing out how Reiner almost had the Armor taken from him, were also very missed by manga readers, although just less so. 

General Calvi talking about Zeke’s loyalty, Gabi getting praise from her parents when they reunite, and Magath trashing the Marleyan navy, were moments that many respondents didn’t feel strongly about one way or another, or felt that these were details that weren’t really needed anyway. 

Cutting the scene where Falcon talks about why Reiner kept the AT was really bad.  Also the table scene could have been better. Some imagery when Reiner was describing the 104th and his smirk.

The cuts the anime has done made the spectators less informed about some story background stuff. This is in order to direct attention to the marley's eldians planning how to overcome the world's disparagement towards the power of the titans. 

I'm sad they cut the gate guards. They humanize the marleyans a bit. Hope they add their scenes next episode and do them justice.

I hope we will get the Gabi/Reiner talk about understanding each other through PATHS when she eats him next episode

Gimme crawling best giiiirl

MAPPA cut Pieck's ass so this episode wouldn't be so ass centered with Zeke's ass wiping technique. This is my theory lol

Great episode but U was so looking forward to the Reiner scene talking about Paradis “devils”. In the mange it was a powerful scene really adding to the duality of Reiner and the pain he has, and the animation did not do it justice. Plus some parts of his speech were probably hard to understand for a non mange reader without the flashback. (Like which one is referring to Jean for example).  I really wish it had been better delivered

IS THERE ANY CHANCE WE’LL SEE SOME OF THESE CUTS ANIMATED IN A LATER EPISODE? 342 Responses

them into different scenes. Overall, the majority answered a big, fat, “maybe.” 15.8% are confident that what’s done has been done, and 12.6% are more optimistic that MAPPA will find a way.

Overall I was a bit disappointed. I feel like the amount of material cut from every conversation included really added up overall and gave it a very rushed feel to me. I really hope they add it all in later.

ON THE FLIP-SIDE, WHICH ADDITIONS/CHANGES DID YOU LIKE/DISLIKE?

The changes and additions that MAPPA made were overall viewed very favorably, with the scene of Porco and Pieck interacting with the warrior cadets being the most liked addition. This is followed closely by the overall character movement during dialogue scenes, the small detail about Pieck’s father being unwell, and Gabi shouting “Watashi!” on the train.

I loved the additional details made it very emotional

IT WAS A GREAT TIME TO BE GALLIPIECK TRASH

Sneakier Eren's a nice addition too

Porco my boiii I'm so happy he's here 💖💖💖💖 if mappa is adding some extra scenes then gimme more of gallirei 👀

WHICH SCENE FROM THE PREVIEW ARE YOU MOST LOOKING FORWARD TO? 338 Responses

Unsurprisingly, 42% of respondents are hyped about Kenny’s brief return and Annie’s unlikely encounter with him in the Underground. 22.2% are eager to get that sweet Reiner angst as he is rejected by his Marleyan father. 17.8% are looking forward to Reiner’s training days.

ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS ON THE EPISODE?

great! it was inevitable they would cut stuff but it hasn't changed any major plot point or thing i would want to see desperately 

It was just really great to see the scenes animated, it adds another level of depth and understanding to the story I believe. 

Loved anime-onlies missing Eren completely. Some even thought it was him but then noticed the leg and thought against it

I think it was very well done. Just need a little getting used to with MAPPA on the reins now. I think MAPPA added some scenes to show how those Eldians over there are still just human after all and they have their own problems to deal with. 8/10 episode.

I feel like they took a lot of emotion way from reiner. made him seemed stoic and determined to go to the island even though in the make he looked scared about having to return. 

I thought the rotoscoping was really well done! I’m happy with the pacing, the fact that the episode felt like it went by fast is good considering it was dialogue based.

Incredible. The direction, the cinematic quality, we are feasting. MAPPA is elevating the story beyond anything I could have imagined! I'm beyond hyped for the rest!! But where is asshole Marley guards/Hobo!Eren's appearance as a favorite moment?!

Incredible, it adapts the source material very well while adding some touches that make it unique in it's own way. As a manga reader, I'm really glad that they're doing this because it feels like a completly different experience from reading it and makes me excited on what changes or directing choices they're going to make during the course of the season, great job so far MAPPA!

Such an amazing episode. Made 20mins feel like 5. MAPPA is doing fantastic. The characters have never felt more alive and the animation style is something I never knew I wanted until now. 

I can't believe they didn't cast Mads Mikkelsen to voice Mads Mikkelsen

The episode was good but the dinner scene didn't do justice to the manga. It didn't have the same feeling to it. I saw a lot of anime onlys thinking Reiner was just trying to talk shit about the 104th. I feel like the flashbacks during that part in the manga gave it a nostalgic feeling that helped convey what he truly felt about his time on the island. His facial expressions were not quite there either. Specially sad because it was the moment I was expecting the most this episode and because it's a big part of Reiner's character, maybe next episode can kind of fix this.

I haven't seen the anime only poll results, but given personal conversations with them I imagine quite a few could care less about the Warriors and are looking forward to the 104th showing up to stir shit up. Boy are those folks in for a treat :)

I knew I'd feel more attached to all of them once they got animated. I didn't expect getting real thirsty for Lainah.

I was so happy with how much detail MAPPA put into the background scenery. Also, I think that an underrated moment during this episode was the Marlian douchebag triggering the Eldian soldier’s PTSD. You could really feel their terror, and THEY KEPT THE HOBO EREN PART IM SO HAPPY!

Its consistently very pretty and well animated which is great of course, but I worry the team won’t be able to maintain this quality for some of the meatier scenes in the later episodes. The fast pace of the episode (compared to the manga) as well as the many cuts make it a bit harder for scenes to stick, I wish there was a bit more breathing room at times. This also makes the fancy animation and frequent rotoscoping cuts feel less impactful for me—with every scene being cut down to its core ingredients, and every scene having at least one cut with more motion and energy than we’re used to, I can’t help but feel it all kind of mashes together without sticking out as much, leaving less of an impact. (I feel really really weird actually complaining about good camerawork/animation, what the hell lol) Also hobo <3

Plenty of questions about ass but no questions about the full ED? Or how we thought the episode did at hiding Eren in plain sight?

rip Reiner's chocolate abs :'(

The episode wasn't as interesting as the first one. I was yawning from time to time. Yet, I think that Mappa did a great job, because it's hard to animate full of  dialogues chapters. I was disappointed of the fact that flashbacks from Paradis have been cut. I hoped to see Sasha, Connie, Ymir and Marco while Reiner was speaking about them. Without the flashbacks we just got the dry speech and this way hard to say what Reiner is really thinking about people he met on Paradis. We - as manga readers - already are aware of his feelings, but anime onlies may not know and see Reiner as cold hearted person. I'm not complaining over animations or the OST tracks because no studio is perfect and some small mistakes here and there won't destroy my fun. I just sit and enjoy the episode. 

Very good, with the exception of the dinner scene, in which the director missed the mark completely with the tone.

WHERE DO YOU PRIMARILY DISCUSS THE SERIES? 328 Responses

Thank you again for participating! We’ll see you again next week!

#snk poll #snk polls #shingeki no kyojin #attack on titan #snk #aot #snk s4 #snk spoilers

[raayllum]

the part in your last post where u said “i’m obssessed with rayllum” made me remember of when some ppl on twitter were like “it’s so uncomfortable seeing adults obsessed about shipps with teenage characters” and. it’s not that deep?? 😭😭 it’s just a bunch of drawings/PIXELS in a screen?? 😭😭😭 i get that fiction can influence reality but Damn, some people take it *too* far

if fiction could screw with people like that i’d be fucked bc i was reading greek mythology (incest, murder, people killing their own children, and more) from age six. and my book of myths was sanitized, sure, but barely. but i’m not. if anything, my long held interest in mythology has added a lot of joy and light to my life, including helping me earn my english degree, in which how literature affects reality is literally something i’ve taken courses on. the anti vs. everyone else discourse stretches back to plato and aristotle, so you can imagine how tired i am of it. because while fiction can influence reality, fiction is not reality, and treating fiction like it’s reality is what’s actually harmful. 

it’s also not uncommon or weird at all that adults — people who were once *gasp* teenagers themselves — would enjoy revisiting that time in their lives vicariously and with beautiful hindsight in hand? like “coming of age” films and anything with child or teen protagonists are written by adults. looks like we have to chuck out the entire varied YA genre because the authors like ships between their teenage characters.

it’s also like when i was fourteen, my fave ship was between two side characters who were 13 and 14. but i shipped them and wrote stuff about them well beyond that age, because i exist in reality and grow beyond the source material, and it’s not that much of a stretch that i would want to take those characters with me and have those characters exist beyond the limits (age or otherwise) of their source material, too.

then when i was 16, my favourite ship was between characters who i always saw as 25 and 23 years old. sometimes in my fics they were even 28 and 26. because it’s almost like i’m drawn to dynamics and change and interesting development more than any arbitrary idea that i should only like couples who are my age. (not even getting into how much younger fandom shits on older fans in their 30s and 40s who — like me — probably grew up in fandom since their teen years). which is stupid, to say the least.

and now i’m here at 20 (aka i only just stopped being a teenager like 1-2 years ago) and my favourite ship is rayllum, who are each a month shy of their 15 and 16th birthdays respectively. and like my other ships, i’m gonna love ‘em forever, and we don’t know how old they’ll be by the time the series is over. maybe they’ll be my age (and i would’ve surpassed that likely by the time the saga is over anyway) or maybe they’ll only be 17.

really, any argument against adult fans being invested in certain aspects of a source material shows a complete ignorance for fandom history from the 60s — fandom has always 90% been an adult space and still is — but just shows a complete lack of like, empathy and long term thinking. like zero braincells and imagination.

i’m writing a series where my main characters, at the start, are between the ages of 11-15. by the end, they’re 16-20. i started writing them when i was 12 and i’m probably only going to have the whole series finished and published when i’m 35. can i not dedicate 20+ years of my life to writing about teenagers that i created and the war they’re going through and the relationships they have?? 

because yeah, they’re teenagers, that’s where the series starts and ends, but i know exactly what they’re like in their 30s and 40s and further?? i know who has kids and who doesn’t?? and i write about it in my own little document that will never be published because it doesn’t matter within the series as a whole, but it’s still fun. and the only main difference between having fun with my own canon and having fun with someone else’s is ownership. 

like if i imagine my own characters in ways that are technically canon, because they’re mine, figuring out life in their 20s and including sexual relationships sometimes and child rearing etc., then why can’t i do that with the characters of a source material i didn’t create firsthand? there’s no imagination difference.

but then, according to that sort of twitter thinking, aging up teenage characters to ages that adults probably relate to more, for a variety of reasons, is also wrong. so then you’re circling back to having adult fans only being able to write about the characters as teens — which goes back to the shaming principle i mentioned earlier.

which comes back to using shame to make people feel guilty for liking the characters they like with a convenient moral panic with dangerous and desensitizing insinuations. (ever heard of alarm fatigue?) because that’s not what the late 1800s women’s movement did to sex workers or born out of puritanical christian / terf or aphobic rhetoric (teens can’t be ace bc teens should be sexless, etc). 

not to mention, it acts like teenagers are a monolith who not only can’t know how to curate their own content (infantilization + helicopter parenting) but that it’s not important for them to learn critical thinking skills. (shocking that twitter is seeing the meltdown of that and poor reading comprehension now). it acts like teenagers never like any “problematic” ship. that “protect the children” rhetoric never means harassing said children. like my worst experience when i was in an anti infested fandom was  when i was sixteen year old (questioning) sex repulsed asexual and i was called a pedophile by grown adults, bc i protected my privacy rights and didn’t have my age online, and bc i shipped two characters who didn’t have canon ages in the show and i saw as 25 and 23. (there was age discourse over the 23 year old, who was an alien, and dated another alien who was 10,000s of years older than her but looked like he was in his twenties, and then she dated a teenager. so. very objectively clear, isn’t it? *eye roll*) like if you need to know someone’s a minor so you won’t repeatedly and violently harass them with moral & illegal accusations — although i’m sure i would’ve been harassed anyway — they’re not the problem here. 

which is to say: twitter anti rhetoric? tis bullshit

#anti purity culture #thanks for asking #anonymous #fandom nonsense #twitter #anyway cheers to that nonnie #Anonymous

[elliethesuperfruitlover]

i am ready

already starting out with a bop

yo this is great

also im tapping my foot as a stim bc these are good

facetime with my mom tonight reminds me of like.....pop videos....like pop music videos, im saying it reminds me of “what do you mean” by justin bieber, as it was also shot in a single room

ah yes the butterfly effect

hello socko

socko be spittin’ facts

aw :( poor socko

NSID

if only the companies during pride month said the same lol (some are legit)

“against racism in theory” uh-

yo butterfingers are kinda nasty (to me)

an avocado

A WHITE WOMANS INSTAGRAM OH MY GOD

damn it got real, you good white woman’s instagram owner

a dreamcatcher bought from urban outfitters oml

some ppl can shut the fuck up lol...i cant, i choose not to

for an hour, hell yes

also this lighting is very nice

yo what the fu-

*cries in inception*

him reacting to him reacting (and on and on) glass after glass, i honestly really like how he portrayed that. that’s kinda how it feels when i go on a tangent, and have to pick up the pieces of my original thought, especially if i’ve lost my train of thought.

IVE HEARD TIKTOK AUDIO OF BEZOS AND I OH MY GOD

ITS SO GOOD

this is going on repeat, and i love the meaning

the scream is really good too

im....horny honestly same

you send me a peach....ill send a carrot back...cool cool

we love asking for consent (as should everyone)

sit why do you have a knife

the sexting song reminds me of “orange juice” by melanie martinez

sir why do you have a knife-

*disassociates*

“well well, look who’s inside again, went out to look for a reason to hide again”

i didnt need to be called out

ah yes a wet hair segment

this is so 80s, giving me “holding out for a hero” we love it

bitch im trying to listen, shit ive been complicit, my brain

age is a very scary thing. i feel like a lot of people start throwing others away once they’ve reached a certain age and that isn’t really okay. people should be able to enjoy what they want to enjoy at any age (within reason, of course). the venom that some people face is so....gross. just because they’re in their 30s and enjoy reading fanfics, or making them like??? they arent hurting anyone, mind your fucking business. im honestly happy that a lot of my pals are older on here. i may not know what the fuck they’re talking about sometimes, but there’s still a lot of shared experiences, and things like that.

im absolutely terrified of getting older. i know and understand that i’m young, i’m literally 15 years old, what do i need to be scared of.....a lot. i just dont have a good relationship with death, and sometimes i lie awake at night, thinking about how nothing in life is permanent, besides the life cycle itself. things live, and things die. and i know it happens, i’ve just yet to accept it.

for so long, i’ve wanted to “be a big kid” and do all these different things, but i just...dont know. i feel like my brain is older than my body. and my thoughts, and things i like. it’s really weird. i’ve been told that im “mature for my age” and all that, which i see as a compliment, rather than someone trying to be a predator. which is understandable in both aspects. but i sometimes wonder if i wasnt...me...y’know. if i wasnt mature for my age, and looked a bit younger. (i look young in general, but eh, you get it) i look tired sometimes, (its because i probably am) but it’s odd. anyways, back to me reacting.

turning 30 is a bop

hes not out of touch, it’s honestly fine to not be on social media and shit

yeah, i already disassociate enough, it happens mostly when im listening to music...hmm

2030 i’ll be 40 and kill myself then.......yeah

ME EXPLAINING WHY I SAY WHAT I SAY SO PEOPLE DONT WORRY

dear lord, yeah its too real

i know i dont want to, but i really just....want things to stop sometimes. so i can breathe, and gather my bearings and get through it. things get a lot and i just need a break.

YO WHY DO I RELATE DEAR LORD

i really need help jesus christ

thank you for cleaning me mr burnham

yes i like the show, im not tired of it, its just fine :)

yo he put a whole game in this shit, hell yeah

yeah i want out of the house, but like......AUGH no

why tf is this so accurate

wake up at literally 4 in the afternoon, feeling like a bag of shit (oh no)

if i mentally feel like shit, i cant sleep it off lol, my dreams exhaust me at that point

“could i interest you in everything all of the time” me listening to tunes

THATS WHERE THE MANIACAL LAUGHING SOUND IS FROM AND IT CUTS OFF I DIDNT KNOW THIS INFORMATION

love ur forehead glowstick dude

i like the idea of it being like...contained, but im sure that im losing it because i havent been like...NEAR OTHER PEOPLE. the pandemmie has NOT been great. anyway.

total disassociation, total out your mind, googling derealization, hating what you find

PLEASE THIS IS TOO ACCURATE

aw :(

its 4 in the morning so my hands are gonna be up, and im just looking at him

this is so beautiful

yo he put a “the living tombstone” on that one

him sitting on the chair reminds me of the one scene in “kill your darlings” where the main character has diarrhea, and they’re sitting on a chair bare ass naked (so they dont have to take the pants off, yada yada) while also writing on a typewriter.

yo this was great

okay i admit that i was mad sad earlier, but like....im fine now. and especially not now. i’ve been told not to watch inside when not in a good mental state, and i get it. im fine now, but that was good. i honestly laughed more than anything. i dont feel like crying. it represented a lot of my thoughts and feelings well. i like it.

#ellie livewatches inside by bo burnham

[cyborgraptor]

haunted house thrill ride minus the haunted house

Last night my brother, his wife, and me both left rather late to see if we could make it last minute to a haunted house an hour away from where we live to Ft. Worth, TX. People might already know the attraction called Cutting Edge, as its been going on for years now - the last time we went to it was 12 years ago. We wanted to see how it was now, and it has a somewhat decent rating. We remember there was bubbles at the end that COMPLETELY soak your clothes and nearly smothers you, so we checked reviews to see if they still had it. It does, but there’s a bubble-less route so you can avoid it. But, the end of this review had us curious.

(Parking was 15-20$ we read on the website, too.) Anyway, we drive down there. Immediately get sad spotting the homeless population taking up entire large sidewalks as we enter downtown. Arrive at 12:15, and the attraction ends at 1am. We knew there’d be a line since it was a semi-chill night thats good for big crowds. Buuuuuuut we weren’t expecting to see around 500 people ass-to-ass wrapped in a tight line in the parking lot 45 minutes till closing. So we said “Fuck that shit, lets find a cool late night dinner place while we’re in down here”.  Regret. My brother remembered there was some ice cream place they went to while they were here some time ago down some main street. Quickly figured out that street was closed off, like some parade/party just recently happened, but there was nothing but a bar open down the street and a security golf cart picking up cones. We figured we could get on our feet and walk further down the street to see if we could find it that way, as there was a lot of hidden buildings. So we park the car, get out, and go to a street corner to look around. Across the street, we saw a woman face-down against a curb to a shop, totally looking like a dead body. Two men were slowly trying to help her up to get in their car. The three of us looked at each other like “Uh oh” and looked back behind us down the street if there was possibly more fucked up people like her, of if someone else was noticing us watch that. Then we heard a scream, and the woman was sprinting full speed out of the parking lot. She stopped suddenly and the men ran over to her, and then she started laughing loudly instead. Okay. Hopefully...............she was just on drugs............????? And then the two men had to lift her like a couch back into the car. We stared at each other again and said “Okay time to go!” and then nearly stepped in vomit on the sidewalk as we turned back to our car. But it doesn’t end there!!!!!!!!!!! We were still starving, so we googled some late-night diners nearby instead. It was either ramen or this place called Ol’ South Pancake house (you can google it if you want). The website makes the place look cute and homey. Our decision to go there was solely placed to get chips and salsa based on what my sister-in-law read on the website, but I think she read the wrong thing. We get there. Pretty crowded. The air inside smelled like cigarette smoke even though it was a non-smoking store. There was a group of eight people in front of us COVERED in fake blood, probably(hopefully) from the Cutting Edge place. A very..........interesting looking waitress hobbles over to us after them to seat us at a table that would make claustrophobic people explode. Then we get......her. The other waitress. She seemed like a sweet elderly woman, at first. Not white hair, but grey, and pretty in-fit for her age. We asked about the salsa, and she squinted at us and said they only had potato chips (which is probably true). We looked at each other and ordered some fried pickles instead. She then nodded slowly and said “Surrreee thiiiinnnnng,” and then gave my brother a face similar to this.

So we’re probably going to get food poisoning. The pickles were good, at least. While we were eating, a group of college-age people sit next to us. One guy was in normal clothing, while his two other friends were in costumes (another guy and a woman). Chucky, the killer doll man, was next to me. The two of them were veeeeerry obviously on something. My first interaction with Chucky was when I was drinking coffee, a red wig suddenly landed in front of me. “O---OOOPSSSSS!” Chucky said next to me, grabbing the wig and dropping it several more times. Our trio just laughed awkwardly. He then tossed it behind me in my chair, and thats when his stable friend said “Hey bro what the hell are you doing, man?” Which, I think, prevented Chucky from groping my ass, and he quickly grabbed his wig back. Then he and his costume GF (assuming) got up to go to the bathroom. They cut through the open kitchen and we could see the staff get startled. While that happened, an old man walked into the section of the diner that was blocked off. We were confused as hell, but another waitress started serving him food in there. Maybe they knew him or something, who knows. But. Do you know where that cut-off door looks out to for the old man to watch?

Haha, it’s to us! Making direct eye contact to me at all times!!!! Oh boy!!!

So now we have a guy with possible dementia over there, and Chucky and his GF come back (through the kitchen, AGAIN) on our right. A staff member comes to their table saying they need to not go through the kitchen ever again. The sober friend is obviously dumbfounded but does nothing but giggle and shake his head. THEN the GF gets up and leans to our table, saying “What are you guys doing tonight?” completely in our personal spaces. Sister-in-law leans back to her to quietly say “What are you guys on?”. The woman kind of shakes her head and replies “Oh just weed. Just a bit of weed.” Smiling HUGE while saying so, but also in a bitchy way. Chucky encounter #2 happens. While his GF was leaning to and fro, he hissed right into my ear, actually making me jump (but not scream). We all laugh awkwardly again. At this point, its better to deal with them than start a huge commotion and possibly make them rage, because the people around us are already keeping an eye on them for all of the shit they’ve stirred already. #3. Shortly after he says “I’m Chucky, the killlleeeeerrrrrr....” and starts pretending to bite the air next to me. That quickly turned to him trying to bite my shoulder. I barely felt anything, and tried to keep inner peace until his friend yelled at him again to stop. There was no teeth-sinking, but I felt a wet mark after he stopped. My brother said he looked like this.

Well. We finally got our food. I got steak and eggs, my brother got a burger, and sister-in-law got a pancake thing with peaches in it. Right after the teeth waitress placed the pancake thing down, she suddenly said, “Wait, there’s no butter on this! You gotta have some butter on it to make it good!” What does she do to solve this, you ask? Simple!

She takes our silverware, takes a plastic cup container of butter from our condiment rack, and starts going to town stabbing and smearing the butter into the once-nice looking pancake thing! For a full 30 seconds in silence! “There you go!” she says with her full rack of fake teeth, and walks away. My brother had to laugh behind his napkin while she was doing it, and so did I. #4. A pancake suddenly lands on my plate after I got done eating the obviously once-frozen steak. Chucky said nothing this time, but his sober friend just shook his head. But after Chucky tossed his last two pancakes on our table, sober friend tried to stop him - in doing so, sober friend accidentally pushed his own plastic cup of cheese on the floor. “Awwww man, look at what you made me do bro!” He sighed seriously. Sober friend then asked teeth waitress where his bacon bits where at, and all she did was look over at their own condiment rack and pointed, “Right there,” and walked away. Sober friend didn’t only spill his cheese, but he spilled his bacon bits onto the rack, too. Costume friends got up to walk outside after that, and we sympathized with him saying “Damn, she’s brutal.” Oh, and by the way, dementia man has still been staring at us the whole time. We’re completely done eating now, and whisper to each other “We need to get the absolute fuck out of here.” We pay at the entrance/exit, and walk outside. What we see is what we believe Chucky and his GF fucking in their car parked to the side of the store. The windows were steamy and only saw his head sticking up. “Time to go!!!!!!!!!!!!!” I chanted again, as we got back in our car. Dementia man walked out of the diner after us, but luckily, he didn’t see what car we got into. It still doesn’t end there. We cut through the empty streets back to where we got into the city. It was 3:40 am at this point. My brother saw a cowboy sitting at an empty light corner. GOTTA LEAVE! Five minutes later we enter the expressway. Three minutes go by. My brother is cranking up the music to stay awake for the hour long drive back home. But then I see it. Something bright down on the highway below us to our left. We’re passing by and my brother doesn’t notice. “F...........fire. FIRE. THERE’S A FIRE.” “WHAT?”

He stops on the completely vacant road and we back up a little to see it. Yup. Thats a fucking burning car.

We camped there for about 10 minutes until even one cop showed up, then finally a firetruck. Normal people pulled over initially to direct traffic with the flashlight on their phones. All four of the tires popped loudly as they burned. And while the hose was dousing out the flames, a semi-explosion happened. Sounded like a firework, and was very bright, but nothing shattered and debris didn’t rain down anywhere. We finally decided enough was enough and we got the fuck out after the flames got controlled.  I’m happy to say we made it home safe without any other bullshit occurring to us. But What. A. Fucking. Night.

#long post #I'm not putting this under a read more #originally from twitter but how the fuck am I writing this on there

[redrocx]

If it's ask game... 1-50.! Just because I don't want you to be bored! 🤣🥰

Oh wow, what a task 😆 I had lots of fun, thank you so much, sweetie 💕

1. First things first, did you have a good year? -- hmmm it's a good middle, I'd say. Lots of ups and downs but also made lots of progress health-wise.

2. How old did you turn this year? -- 24

3. Do you feel your age? -- lmao tbh I feel so damn old or more like tired of life lol (not in a suicidal way just generally tired haha)

4. Did your appearance change in anyway? -- cut my hair a few weeks ago, got new glasses

5. Post your favorite selfie. -- oh man I'm usually not comfortable posting selfies lol I won't do it for personal reasons, sorry 😬

6. If you traveled, where did you go? -- Paris and Vienna (both for concerts lol)

7. Which fashion trends did you love? -- I'm not much into fashion and don't keep up lol

8. Which fashion trends did you hate? -- same as 7

9. What was your favorite article of clothing this year? Post a pic if possible? -- hoodies, I've been wearing them whenever I can. Also a new pair of pants (too lazy to get up and take a pic though lol)

10. What song sums up this year for you? -- actually two songs, This Is Me from the Greatest Showman and The Very Last Time by Bullet For My Valentine

11. What album came out and has been on heavy rotation since then? -- Rammstein by Rammstein

12. What was your favorite movie of the year? -- Avengers Endgame *sobs heavily*

13. Did an actor/actress catch your attention for the first time this year? -- cant think of anyone in particular

14. Favorite new TV show? -- the Blacklist

15. Which new ship/fandom has taken over a lot of your time, attention, and tears? -- there's two ships lol one old (Soukoku) and one newish (Lawlu). Fandom-wise I've finally started watching Naruto, and then Rammstein (though I'm not particularly involved in the fandom)

16. What food did you try for the first time? -- persimmons (I don't like them lol)

17. Did you make any big permanent changes this year? -- well I finally started driving school lol if that counts

18. What was one nice thing you did for someone else? -- wrote a birthday oneshot for a friend

19. What was one nice thing you did for yourself? -- bought myself a Switch

20. Did you develop a new obsession? -- Rammstein

21. Did you vote? -- yes!

22. Did you move? -- sadly not yet

23. Did you get a job? -- old job but got a promotion!

24. Did you get a pet? -- nope, my birb's still good and healthy 💕

25. Do you regret not doing anything? -- not leaving the G****** fandom sooner

26. Do you regret doing something? -- no, I don't think so

27. Have you done anything that scared you? -- enrolled for driving school

28. Did anyone/thing make you so mad it stayed with you for days? -- G****** fandom again/asshole people on social media in general

29. Did you lose anyone close to you? -- no, only people I *thought* I was close to

30. Did you fall in love? -- with Rammstein and back with One Piece, yes. Romantically, no

31. Did you fall out of love? -- no

32. Did you start a new relationship? -- only friendships

33. Did you go through a break up? -- no

34. Did you have to cut ties to someone? -- lots of people

35. Who was important to you this year but wasn’t important last year? -- @takashima-hikari 😘😘😘 I do hope I can meet you someday 😭😭 and cry over One Piece and abs together

36. Who wasn’t as important to you this year as they were last year? -- some friend(s)

37. If you could have a do over on one thing you did, would you take it? -- idk hm depends on the thing

38. What was the best moment of the year for you? -- attending the lives of my two favorite bands & meeting some of my dearest friends for the first time

39. What was the worst? -- getting suicidal over shit that happened in a fucking fandom and shouldn't have affected me this bad to begin with

40. Did anything happen that you were sure would change you as a person but it really didn’t? -- can‘t think of anything 🤔

41. Did anything happen to you that you were sure wouldn’t change you as a person but it did? -- honestly I started to realize a lot of my past mistakes while being confronted with similar situations I put friends in in the past and I'm trying to make amends and become a better person

42. What are you most proud of accomplishing? -- conquering my chronic pain & finally leaving a fandom that was more toxic to my mental health than it was good

43. What have you learned about yourself this year that you didn’t know in the years prior? -- the way my body functions and gets affected by emotional & mental turmoil and how to cope in healthy ways

44. Did your opinion of anyone change for the better? -- my dad (not that I thought of him as bad before but he's being showing an increasing support which makes me happy)

45. Did your opinion of anyone change for worse? -- lots of people (again that shouldn't have mattered in the first place but I'm the problem as we all know)

46. If you make resolutions, did you complete them this year? -- I don't think I had any

47. If you make resolutions, what will your resolutions be for the coming year? -- to keep improving both my mental and physical health, and to be more vigorous in taking actions to improve my mental health especially in regards to social media

48. If you could go on an adventure during the remaining days of the year, where would you go and what would you do?  Who would you go this? -- I'm actually meeting up with my family on Christmas in Berlin, that's all the adventure I need and am looking for~

49. What do you wish for others for the coming year? -- that they go through the same self-reflective and enlightening journey that I have been going through this year, and that other people (especially friends & family) will have the strength to get the help & support they may need

50. What do you wish for yourself? -- to become a better person, and to grow even more; to be someone my friends & family can (continue to) be proud of

#ask #answered #personal #thanks again 🧡🧡 #long post

[kylorenpunk]

Do them all. Suffer as I did 😂

Bitch I told you this was our friendship. We force each other to answer all the questions. 

1. selfie

Well… I wasn’t dubbed Selfie Queen for nothing… 

This one is interesting bc I have zero makeup on. The most recent ones are too blurry. A lot of my fav selfies are full faces of makeup tho. 

2. what would you name your future kids?

I feel like that’s a decision for both parents but I really like the names Felicity, Isabella and Dimitri. Yes, all of them are names from various franchises I enjoyed throughout the years. Be glad I’m out of my phase where I thought Vladimir was a good name. 

3. do you miss anyone?

I miss all my friends I don’t get to see frequently. Love all of y’all and hope y’all are doing well in life! 

4. what are you looking forward to?

Fucking graduating. Jesus Christ it’s taken me five damn years. 

5. is there anyone who can always make you smile?

From my club it’s Chris, Yara and Josephine. Also my entire friend group from back home. Honestly I love my friends so much. 

6. is it hard for you to get over someone?

I feel like every situation is different so that’s a tough question to answer. 

7. what was your life like last year?

I honestly don’t remember much from December of last year. It was a good time though. 

8. have you ever cried because you were so annoyed?

I’m an emotional bitch. I’ll cry over anything. I cried over fucking Mulan the other day. 

9. who did you last see in person?

My parents and brother. Earlier in the day my club. 

10. are you good at hiding your feelings?

I’m shit at it. My face gives away everything. The other day my professor was going into her inspiration porn narrative and I just gave her a cold dead look the entire time. 

11. are you listening to music right now?

No but I have the Hamilton soundtrack stuck in my head right now since that’s what I was last listening to. If you haven’t heard it I highly suggest it. Man I wanna see it so badly. 

12. what is something you want right now?

Sleep but I’m trying not to throw off my sleep schedule right now and am waiting a bit before going to bed. I only got three hours of sleep last night so that’s fun. 

13. how do you feel right now?

Kinda tired. Relieved that I got two service projects in a row done today. It’s been a long weekend. 

14. when was the last time someone of the opposite sex hugged you?

My friend Sebastian hugged me when I dropped him off. I guess that counts. 

15. personality description

I’m a makeup loving nerd who enjoys sitting in pajamas watching anime and superheros as much as she enjoys swatching EVERY lipstick in Sephora. According to my friends I can’t go 5 seconds without mentioning how old I feel and my love for Dungeons and Dragons. I’m also an asshole. (Wow this sounds like a 12 year old writing this)

16. have you ever wanted to tell someone something but you didn’t?

Yeah tons of times. It’s bitten me in the ass. Oh well live and learn I guess? 

17. opinion on insecurities.

Everyone has them? If they say they don’t then they are lying. Mine is mainly related to my appearance or how I speak. 

18. do you miss how thing were a year ago?

I miss how things were in the beginning of this year. It started off strong then kinda turned into a shit show. 

19. have you ever been to New York?

No but it’s my top thing on my bucket list. My friends and I are highly considering a trip. 

20. what is your favourite song at the moment?

Of all time: Get Low by Lil Jon 

Currently: “Told You So” by Little Mix (If you haven’t heard their new album I highly suggest it if you love girl groups that preach women empowerment) 

21. age and birthday?

22 - June 21st (She’s a Cancer)

22. description of crush.

I don’t have a hardcore crush right now. More like 5 second crushes that are over the second they do something I don’t like. 

Edit: Currently “celebrity?” crush is Nathan Sharp. I am seriously considering dropping $55 to see him at a convention this month. 

23. fear(s)

Heights, something terrible happening to my loved ones, wild snakes, and the usual common anxiety fears 

24. height

Five foot three inches. I’m short. Yes I know it’s not that short but tall people like to put me in the short category anyway. 

25. role model

My mom’s coworker who was my internship supervisor. She has a doctorate’s in what I want to do and is amazing at what she does. The amount of knowledge and experience that women has is incredible. She is also extremely funny and knows how to teach with a sense of humor which I appreciate. 

26. idol(s)

Celebrity idols? I don’t really idolize celebrities bc humans are humans and have flaws. 

27. things i hate

Immaturity, intolerance of differences, demeaning slurs, The Last Jedi, and the new Fantastic Beasts movie 

28. i’ll love you if…

Play with my hair, are kind to my friends and family, share common interests, show an interest in what I have to say, basically respect me and those close to me and we’re good 

29. favourite film(s)

Hairspray, High School Musical, The Greatest Showman, Stardust, The Harry Potter series, Avengers, Guardians of the Galaxy

30. favourite tv show(s)

Jane the Virgin, Naruto (fuck off I hate myself too ok), the first three seasons of Arrow before it turned to shit

31. 3 random facts

I’m not artistically talented but I genuinely enjoy makeup and creating looks

I have a nonverbal brother with autism and he’s my favorite person ever

I completely programmed my brother’s communication device by myself 

32. are your friends mainly girls or guys?

Now my friends are mainly girls but when I lived in Tampa 90% of my friends over there were guys (Hi Mason). I’m going to say that’s bc of us all playing video games in the Delta lounge (RIP Dirty D). But yeah now it’s mainly girls and 80% of my dude friends are gay. 

33. something you want to learn

Sign Language. Ice skating. Hairstyling. Fashion (I’m trying to be better about putting clothes together). Also I’m down to learn more about makeup and techniques 

34. most embarrassing moment

Either farting while doing an air guitar in front of my entire girl scout troop

or signing to my friend that I liked her friend at a party and his brother repeated what I had signed out loud in front of everyone

wait. No. When I F U C K E D  up in front a super hot guy while volunteering and then chose an 18 year old jock as my wingman. 18 year olds are dumbasses. Don’t use them as wingmen. Fuck you Khaled. 

35. favourite subject

In grade school I think it was English or History. It really all depended on the year. 

36. 3 dreams you want to fulfill?

VISIT NEW YORK 

Hike the Smokey Mountains 

Visit Europe 

37. favourite actor/actress

Chris Evans (especially when he is trying to fight orange president on twitter) 

Also Mark Hamill is perfect 

38. favourite comedian(s)

I don’t watch comedians often. I guess the Fluffy guy? 

39. favourite sport(s)

The only time I give a shit about sports is when my university is undefeated or playing my first university in football. Or the soccer world cup if it’s on. However I appreciate the skill it takes to do a sport. 

40. favourite memory

San Antonio. It was my first time traveling without family and it was the greatest time. It was such a cool city 

41. relationship status 

Single - I take my sweet ass time 

42. favourite book(s)

Eragon (No, I haven’t finished the entire series. No, I don’t want spoilers bc I will do it eventually.) 

43. favourite song ever

“Get Low” by Lil Jon 

“Look Through My Eyes” by Phil Collins 

44. age you get mistaken for

Last year I got mistaken twice in a row within an hour for a middle schooler. I was 21 at at that time. During my internship one of the parents asked me if I had any kids. I’m either mistaken as a parent or as a 13-15 year old. There is no in between.  

45. how you found out about your idol

N/A since I don’t have an idol

46. what my last text message says

“lmao it’s alright” to Joey but the previous one is more funny “thankfully no one threw up this time” in regards to my friend’s party last night

47. turn ons

Well I aint about to talk about my sex life so let’s go with personality 

Common interests such as superheros or anime, charismatic, easy to get along with, common goals in life, cares about their loved ones, has passion, and someone I can hold an intellectual conversation with 

48. turn offs

rudeness, immaturity, inattentiveness, bad tempers, superiority complex, not being genuine, judging others, treating people like objects, and general lack of care for others or themselves

49. where i want to be right now

Back in the smokey mountains in a cabin watching movies and anime

50. favourite picture of your idol

N/A 

51. starsign

She’s an emotional Cancer

52. something i’m talented at

Apparently I’m good with kids      Makeup too I guess? 

53. 5 things that make me happy

friends, family, nerdy shit, makeup and Kakashi

54. something thats worrying me at the moment

Some shit happened last night that has me worried for some friends but I’m sure they’ll figure it out 

55. tumblr friends

A shit ton of y’all I know IRL. I won’t tag y’all bc that’s annoying af 

Joey’s my only internet friend @earthschampion (answer my text bitch) 

56. favourite food(s)

pasta, empanadas, crab rangoons, taziki sauce 

57. favourite animal(s)

Meerkats and koala bears

58. description of my best friend

K @burnitstronger: realest damn friend you will ever have. Will tell you how it is and provide never ending love and support. Never understands my dumbass shenanigans but loves me anyway. Love you boo 

J : Will also tell you how it is and forces you to watch Naruto and ruin your damn life. Will happily go with you to eat junk food after class. Will fight anyone who wrongs you and is def still plotting revenge on all my ex’s. Stans Loona

M: Will scream at you in Leo in a frightening but loving way. Has the best damn fashion sense I have ever seen. Is the friend that comes by when I need her to and brings a shit ton of snacks and love (J does this as well).

59. why i joined tumblr

I was bored on fourth of July in 2012 and my friends kept telling me that this website would be fun. Also the avengers “fandom” from back then 

60. ask me anything you want

I would say I’m sorry Mason but I enjoy making all my friends suffer. Make sure to give him a follow bc he’s cool. @masonjar828

#ask #me #yikes this took a long ass time

[onmywaytobe]

1-50 do it if you dare

ohoho challenge accepted 

(also i love you omg how did you know i love to talk about myself)

(most of them under the cut bc I don’t want everyone to hate me lol)

1.What made you start writing?

My teachers always said I was good at it and tbh I’ve always made up stories with like dolls or stuffed animals or whatever 

2. How old were you when you started writing?

I was 12 when I started my first novel (and that’s still the only novel I’ve ever finished, how about that)

3. What was the first story you ever wrote about?

That first novel is what I’ll count, it was basically self-insert Merlin fanfiction before I knew what fanfiction was, and I changed all the names so nobody would be any the wiser

4. What’s your favorite genre?

I’m really into modern fantasy at the moment, like anything mystical set in modern day I love

5. What’s your least favorite genre?

I can’t do hard sci-fi, I wish I could but it’s too much for me

6. What’s your biggest strength as a writer?

Probably dialogue? I write a lot of scripts where dialogue is the only thing that really matters so I work on that the most

7. What’s your biggest weakness as a writer?

SETTING DESCRIPTIONS nobody knows what anything looks like anywhere and I’m so sorry

8. What writing projects are you currently working on?

I’m waiting for NaNo to start so I can get working on They Met in a Cafe, which is about an art thief who falls in love with the journalist who’s been writing about him

9. Who’s your favorite author?

I think I have to say Tolkien, he was just so iconic

10. Who’s your least favorite author?

Cassandra Clare. 

11. What’s your favorite book?

The Professionals by Owen Laukkanen (it’s so good)

12. What’s your least favorite book?

This book called Best Served Cold by Joe Abercrombie, it took me so long to read and it wanted to be Game of Thrones so badly but it just wasn’t

13. What’s your favorite trope?

MUTUAL PINING (gets me every time)

14. What’s your least favorite trope?

Enemies to lovers (unless done really well) doesn’t always sit well with me, but I know that’s a popular one on here

15. Have you ever gotten anything published?

I don’t think so lol writing is very much just a hobby for me

16. Do you prefer to type or write by hand?

Type, I can write much faster and closer to the speed of my thoughts lol

17. What’s your favorite literary magazine?

I uh…don’t have one

18. Are there any topics you don’t feel comfortable writing about?

Yeahhh nothing too graphic (in terms of torture, sex, death, etc.) I keep it fairly PG-13 except for swearing haha

19. Where do you get your inspiration from?

Literally everywhere, I’ve never had an original thought in my life

20. Do you prefer to write fiction or poetry?

Fiction, I am so bad at writing poetry

21. How long is the stuff you usually write?

Usually I give up around 15-20k into a story, which is unfortunate

22. How do you deal with writer’s block?

I either take a break from writing as long as I can, or I outline the scene as best as I can until I start getting ideas for how to write the actual scene

23. Have you ever taken any creative writing classes?

None specifically dedicated to creative writing, just the general high school ones 

24. Which of your characters has the most in common with you?

Of my current characters, definitely Cam from Descendants of the Earth, he is so soft and loves his friends so much and that’s just me af

25. Who is your favorite character you’ve written about?

I loved my character Colin from my first novel, Stay True, writing him just made me really happy (I think because at the time I was obsessed with Merlin, and he was the Merlin in my story lol) 

26. Who is your favorite fictional character in general?

I would die for Samwise Gamgee but he would never let me 

27. What time of day do you usually write?

I’m trying to get in the habit of writing in the morning on the bus, but it’s usually in the evening when I should be doing homework

28. How much planning and/or research do you do before you start writing?

Usually none at all, I just make stuff up, but for Cafe I’m actually doing a lot of research bc art history is fascinating and I want to represent cystic fibrosis accurately

29. What writing related accomplishment are you the most proud of?

I think the fact that I actually won NaNo last year while also being a college student

30. Have you ever dreamt about your characters?

No but I wish I could omg 

31. What is your ideal writing environment?

In my bed, under a blanket, computer on my lap, nobody else in the house bothering me haha

32. Which published book do you wish you had written?

The Forbidden Game (by L.J. Smith), that book influenced my writing style so much and I love it a lot

33. Which themes do you like to write about the most?

I think I do a lot of found family/ragtag group of friends stuff, and happy endings for everyone who deserves one

34. What is the best advice you have for a beginning writer?

Literally just write. And it will suck and you won’t like to read it. But it’s so much fun if you just do what you love and enjoy it while it’s happening.

35. What is the worst writing advice you’ve ever heard?

 Idk I try to avoid most writing advice, probably just anything that says “never” write something in particular because like….that’s ridiculous

36. Do you prefer pens or pencils?

Pens! I worry about pencil smearing.

37. What traits do your protagonists usually have?

They’re usually stale cinnamon rolls, like they used to be so happy and pure and now they’re cynical and tired. And everyone is so sarcastic, because thats how I am 

38. What is your ultimate writing goal?

I would love to be traditionally published someday, but I don’t see that happening anytime soon if ever

39. What is the weirdest thing you’ve ever written about?

The weirdest thing I actually tried to turn into a full novel was this series about a group of girls who each had different supernatural things happen to them (one was selected to be a fairy princess, one had the power to manipulate fate, one was the daughter of Hades, and one could go back in time)

That actually sounds really cool summed up like that but…it was middle school, it was not good

40. What is the most random fact you’ve ever learned while doing research for a story?

I just recently learned that having cystic fibrosis makes your skin taste salty, so that’s a thing

41. What would you do if you were suddenly teleported into your WIP?

Hug the heck outta Leo (he needs all the hugs) and also try to join the heist crew lol 

42. How many drafts do you usually go through before you finish a piece?

One and a half, I’ve never edited a damn thing in my life lol but I do usually do a read-through after it’s finished and fix some things that I don’t like before calling it good

43. Has your writing ever made you cry?

Not as such, but I’ve made myself really sad while writing Voice of Treason (which is a feature film, not a novel)

44. Would you rather have your WIP adapted into a movie or TV show?

Lol well since Cafe is based on a book within a movie I produced, I have to say that I’d want it made into a movie

It would also make a good movie tbh

45. Where do you share your writing?

Only on here, and I post finished (or close to finished) things on Wattpad

46. What’s your favorite line of your current WIP?

Well I’ve only got the one small section so far, but I really like this line.

She laughed softly, her warm, coffee-stained breath fanning across his face.

47. What’s the first sentence of your WIP?

Currently it’s “Leo nervously slid into the coffee shop, glancing behind him” but that’s subject to change once NaNo starts

48. What’s the last sentence you wrote?

It was actually for DotE, and it was “Logan watched and laughed, grateful to be invited into the fun despite declining the offer.” 

49. What inspired you to write your WIP?

This is actually my favorite question. So I worked on this movie two years ago with these dumb guys, and within the movie there was the character of this writer girl, and she was writing a book called “They Met in a Cafe” and throughout the movie you see her acting out these scenes from the book with her imagination, which takes the form of this cute guy (it was not a good movie lol)

Anyway I decided to take those scenes and basically write the book that she was trying to write in the film, but I’m gonna make it make sense and it’s gonna be so good (hopefully)

50. What’s your favorite thing about your WIP?

I love the whole concept of it, it really just appeals to my silly romantic sensibilities as well as my fascination with art and history in general, I just think it’s really fun

THANK YOU FOR ALL THESE QUESTIONS!! I literally love talking about myself so much and I was in such a bad mood bc my roommate has people over but this made me feel so much better so thank you

#asks #answered #about me #cafe #treason #dote #cam #leo #long post #logan

[missroseofficial]

Starry Night

This was requested by one of my dearest pals @all-the-love-harold , I also combined this with another idea so it’s a bit longer than I originally intended.  Anyhow, enjoy!!

This hasn’t been proofread, so sorry for any mistakes

True love is giving feedback 

Heeeeeere we goooooo...

“Love, have ya ever been to a rooftop cinema before?”  Harry called out from the bedroom.

You were in the bathroom getting ready to go and meet up with a friend for lunch.  “No, I haven’t.  Didn’t even know they had rooftop cinemas.”  You said making your way to the closet to grab a pair of shoes.  “Sounds like it would be fun though.”

Harry smirked as he watched you come out of the closet.  “You don’t expect me to let you leave the house looking like that now do you?”

You gave him an annoyed look, “Harry, really? C’mon I don’t have time for this right now. I’m already running late.”    You started to walk out the bedroom door and head out of those house.

“Wait right there woman, do not take another step,” he ran toward you, “how dare you leave without kissing me goodbye.  That’s rude.”

You rolled your eyes and quickly pecked him on the lips, “You’re an infant. Now if that’s all, I’ve somewhere to be.  See ya Styles.”

As soon as Harry saw that your car was out of the driveway, he ran over to his bedside table and opened the top drawer.  He dug around but couldn’t seem to find what he was looking for  “Fuck, it must still be at Gem’s.”  Harry muttered to himself taking out his phone.

Just when he was about to press the call button, his phone rang.

“Gemma!  I was just about to call you.  You know that ring I asked you to keep at your place for me?”

Gemma squealed, “Oh my God, you’re doin’ it finally!  Proposing! Yay!”

He laughed, “Yes but can ya chill out?  She hasn’t even said yes yet, sheesh.”

“You’re a fucking idiot to even think for a second that woman would say no.”  

Harry let out a sigh, “Yeah, you’re right.  Anyways, ‘m comin by to pick it up.  Should be there in about 30 minutes or so.”

Gemma squealed again, “Okay!”

He threw on some clothes and headed out the door.  

Arriving at Gemma’s an hour later than he wanted to because of traffic made him nervous because he knew that you’d be back home already by the time he made it home.

“Gemma, what the fuck are you doing?”  He said as he approached Gemma’s flat.  She was sitting outside her door looking at the diamond ring in her hand.

She got up and ran over to Harry, nearly knocking the both of them on the ground.  “Gem, you’ve really got to calm down.”  Harry laughed.

“I can’t help it!  I’m just so excited!”  She started to tear up, “Okay well my emotional ass needs to be somewhere and you’ve got something to do obviously!  So, I love you and you better call me afterwards.”

Harry gave her a quick kiss on the cheek and stuck the black velvet box in his pocket.  “I love you too and I definitely won’t call you afterwards.”  He smirked.

Gemma shoved him before walking back inside, “Uh huh.”

He snickered, “Kidding, talk to you later!”  

She rolled her eyes and shut the door.  

Harry arrived back home just as you were walking in the door.  

“Hey!  Where’d you go?”  You asked walking into the house.

Harry’s heart started beating rapidly, “I uh…,” he couldn’t find the words to make up an excuse, “dropped somethin’ off at Gems.”

You cocked your eyebrow, “Ookay then.  Are you alright?”

“Fine, just tired.  I’ve got a call to make, be down in a bit.”  Harry made his way upstairs and went into one of the guest bedrooms assuming you’d go into your shared bedroom to change.

Once the door was shut, he pulled out his phone and searched up rooftop cinemas that were nearby.  Luckily there was one just 25 minutes from the house.

Harry had a plan and he was pretty damn proud of it.  He had spoke over the phone with the manager, who agreed to let Harry have the roof after the last movie was shown.

“Y/N!”  He called running down the stairs with a huge grin on his face.

You were watching a show in the living room.  Harry grabbed the remote from the table and shut off the television.

“Um, excuse you that was rude!”  You glared at him but couldn’t help but smile at his dorky grin.

“So, tomorrow we’re going on a date. 9pm.  And you’re not allowed to say no.”  He smiled.

You shot him a confused look, “Alright?  Where are we going or is it like one of those super romantic things where you surprise me with a trip to the Caribbean?”

Harry laughed and joined you on the couch, putting his arm around you.  “Not quite but I think you’ll enjoy this much more.”  He kissed your forehead and turned the television back on.  

*next day*

The two of you had spent the day watching tv and lounging around the house just enjoying each other’s company.  

You had started getting ready to go around 7 after Harry did. “H, should I wear like a dress or is this more casual?”  You called from the cloest.

Harry walked in to join you, picking a light blue dress from the rack.  “Mm, this one!”

You grabbed it from him and went into the bathroom shutting the door.  

An hour later you came out of the bathroom, “Do I look good?”

Harry came over to you and wrapped his arms around your waist kissing your lips softly.  “Better than good.  You are the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on.”

You rolled your eyes and kissed him again.

The car ride to the cinema was silent.  A couple times you tried to get Harry to tell where he was taking you to but he just shook his head and laughed each time.  

When you arrived, Harry got out and ran around to your side so that he could open your door.  You didn’t know that Harry had brought a blindfold with him, so when he immediately put it on you after you stepped out of the car.

“Harry, c’mon why do you have to do this?”  You pouted.

He giggled at your actions causing you to whine and stomp your foot.  

“And you call me an infant.  Well who’s the infant now, huh.”  Harry grabbed your hand and let you to the steps to get up to the roof.

He carried you up the steps because he knew that if he didn’t, you’d manage to trip.  You were clumsy and Harry couldn’t risk having you get injured, especially not tonight.

“Can I take the blindfold off now?”  You whined crossing your arms.

Harry walked behind you and untied the soft fabric.  Your eyes lit up immediately seeing the view and the big screen.

“So how’d I do?”  He smiled nervously putting his hands behind his back.

You ran over to him wrapping your arms around his neck kissing his lips about fifty times.  “I love it!  It’s amazing, can’t believe I didn’t know these existed.”  

The movie Harry picked out was The Proposal.  It was one of your favorites and of course, Harry loved any romantic comedy out there so he didn’t mind it one bit.  You two cuddled through the whole movie, Harry sneaking a couple kisses to your forehead here and there.  You didn’t think the night could get any more perfect.  

At the end of the movie, Harry got up and said he was going to go use the restroom.  You took your phone out to keep yourself occupied while Harry went and relieved himself.

All of a sudden you a guitar and Harry singing the words to “Can’t Help Falling In Love” by Elvis Presley.  One of your favorite songs.

Wise men say only fools rush in

But I can't help falling in love with you

Shall I stay?

Would it be a sin

If I can't help falling in love with you?

Like a river flows surely to the sea

Darling so it goes

Some things are meant to be

Take my hand, take my whole life too

For I can't help falling in love with you

Like a river flows surely to the sea

Darling so it goes

Some things are meant to be

Take my hand, take my whole life too  

For I can't help falling in love with you

For I can't help falling in love with you

When the song ended, Harry walked over to you, grabbed both your hands and looked you directly in the eyes.  He got down on one knee, his eyes starting to water.

“Alright, here we go.  M’gonna try not to get all sappy but no promises.  Y/N, the moment I met you, I just knew there was something different about you.  I knew I had to have you.  After our first date, I knew that I could never let you go.  You are the one I want to spend my life with, raise kids with, grow old with, I just want you.  I want all of you, forever, you and me every day.  Will you do somethin’ for me, please?  Just picture your life for me?  30 years from now, 40 years from now, what’s it look like?  Because I sure as hell hope it’s with me.  Will you marry me?”

You were crying yet laughing hysterically.  “Why am I not surprised that you had to add that part from The Notebook into your speech?  But my answer, obviously yes.”  

He snickered, “You know me, always gotta come back to The Notebook.”  He said slipping the ring onto your finger.

Harry picked you up off the ground and spun you around.  This night was more than perfect.

So, whatcha think?   Feedback is greatly appreciated!! 

All my love, 

Prissy xx

#im really proud of the notebook reference #my writing #my work #harry styles one shot #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles x reader #harry styles x you #harry styles imagines #harry styles blurbs #harry styles fic #harry styles drabbles

[xonemi]

Bored So I'm Here to Rant

4 o'clock in the morning. I have been sleeping all day yesterday, and woke up around evening time. I saw my typewriter keyboard and have realized that I haven't been using it much.

Reasons for not using it. I mainly use it to type on my journal app called One Day. I haven't been able to do that because the journal app One Day is an iOS app and is not available for windows. My current laptop that I have is a Windows laptop. My Mac laptop that I have is being borrowed by my sister who lives far from me. Oh well.

I could just get a windows journaling app, but as it turns out I looked up the best journaling apps and Day One was number 1 and the next best one that can be used on Windows you have to pay monthly for premium. I am not paying for another journaling app. I already paid a one time deal for Day One.

Anyways, my rant is not about that. My rant is about pyramid schemes. In today's techy world, I am amazed people are still being BAMBOOZLED into pyramid schemes. Like hello? Google that shit maybe? Idk.

Look, I understand that not all pyramid schemes are scams, but they are still fucking pyramid schemes, which just doesn't seem right to me. BUT WHATEVER.

So I had a coworker friend who asked me to go with him to this "business" meeting with him. I thought it was just his aunt trying to sell some random crap. I know there are some people out there who need to do presentations on selling a product but they don't actually need everyone in the presentation to buy the product.

My initial thought was okay, go to this so called business meeting, listen to the presentation and then leave. But boy was I fucking wrong.

Days before the business meeting, my friend sends me and a group of people a link about the product. I look up the company, and I see articles about it being a pyramid scheme.

Already my mind is closed off. Like there's no way in hell anyone is going to get me into some damn pyramid scheme. I don't care if he is a really good friend, there is no way in fucking hell.

I stopped doing any more research because that is all I needed to know. Pyramid scheme. Nothing else will change my mind. But I still made a promise to my friend that I would go to this meeting, so I didn't back down.

Friday, I had to do overtime at my work. My plan was to only work 8hrs so that I could get some sleep because the stupid meeting was in the morning.

The weekend shift didn't have a properly trained person working the laboratory so the shift supervisor asked if I could stay the whole shift which was 12 hrs and ended at 4:30 in the morning.

I was livid, not because I had to stay but because someone who actually works that shift, is always going home early. I wanted to go home early, but couldn't yet this mother fucker was allowed to? And what makes me more mad is his reasons are lies. One time he used the excuse that his girlfriend's grandmother (who lived with him and his gf) was depressed and needed his help. If she really needed help, why the fuck is his gf partying it up? Posting vids on social media of her drinking the night away. It just fucking makes me so mad that this fucker gets away with anything… It's not my shift but still... Whatever.

Back to the pyramid scheme. I worked until 4 am. Got home and went straight to bed. I was hoping I could sleep through the morning meeting because I was so tired and I know that my friend won't be mad because he knows I worked until 4:30.

He ends up calling me after 9 am. I somehow wake up. I ignore the call cause my eyes literally wouldn't stay open. He leaves a voicemail saying that it's okay if we arrive at 10. My subconscious is starting to feel guilty. I did make a promise and I hate breaking promises. Since he said 10 was okay, I got up called him back and said okay I will leave now.

This foo goes, "don't leave yet because I still have to pick up our other co-worker, that way we could arrive at the same time."

I should have taken that moment to go to starbucks and get breakfast and coffee because what happened afterwards was just a shit show.

I get ready and leave after 10 mins. My GPS says I will arrive at 950. I get there and my friend calls me. He asks where I am at and I tell him that I was at the location already. This mother fucker tells me he's barely on the way. It will take him 30 mins to get to the location. LIKE BRUHHHH. Are you fucking kidding me?

I'm tired. I am a very cranky person in the morning. I am definitely not a morning person despite working 1st shift for 6 yrs. (I now work night shifts) I was fuming mad. But I stay calm. I look at instagram for awhile, I try to stay awake while I wait.

20 mins pass and this guy tells me that his uncle will pick me up and that I should just go ahead without him. This mother fucker gives him my phone number (I don't want calls from these people in the future, I might have to change my phone number.) and calls me telling me where to meet him. He takes me to their like lounge eating area. I sit there for almost another 20 minutes. My friend arrived almost fucking 11. They go to different area. Turns out the presentation already started. Thank goodness I didn't go there from the beginning. After 10 minutes of listening to the guy do his presentation, I was already over it.

This guy had no good selling points. I was squirming in my chair the whole fucking time. My other coworker brought her 5 year old son with her and he was dying of boredom. I looked at him and was all "you and me both man"

I really do believe that their product works. It seems to be a legit product. But that foo wasn't selling the product, he was selling the business. I am not an entrepreneur. Although I like money, I do not have the social skills to go around selling a product and a pyramid scheme. So this presentation was not geared towards me. I wanted to leave so badly.

The guy's selling point was that you had to pay $2500 and get 4 other people to pay $2500 and you could start making $500 a month. And from there it could only go up. First of all. I do not save money. I am a spender. There is no way I have $2500 in the bank on hand. That's not me. I barely have $300 at most, most of the time. The only reason I have actual money saved right now is because I am waiting for my speeding ticket. That is the only reason I have money right now. Once that speeding ticket is paid, I am back to being a broke ass bitch because I will more than likely spend the rest of the money left over after the ticket is paid.

Looking around the room during the presentation, the people there were mostly people over 50. Only me, my friend were under 40. It just blew my mind that they were all just very into the presentation. I felt like I was in a cult or something. They were really buying this dude's sell. Which understandably, I could see it. He made it seem easy to earn money through their program.

It really did seem easy to earn millions in a year. But this is where my problem lies. You have to go out there and recruit people. Recruit people to pay $2500 so that they can recruit people to pay $2500 so that those people could recruit people to pay $2500. Those older folks, could easily find people to spend that kind of money because they're old and probably have savings that could be used to pay that $2500 and have cultivated lots of friends, but me? Someone who has limited friends, who is shy, hates any social event, like bruhh, you're barking up the wrong tree here.

The second guy who spoke in the presentation, he was even worse than the first guy. He said "i'll make this short. 10 mins top." This fucker speaks for another 30 mins. Only stopped because the afternoon session started walking in.

He went on to talk about the types of people you needed to recruit. He used an acronym... He wrote EMPOWER on the board. So this is the type of person you need to recruit. E for Entrepreneur M for Motivated, P for positive, O for Open minded, W for Willing, E for Enthusiastic, R for (i forgot, i legit started tuning him out after awhile because I was bored and hungry and sleepy.)

First of all. My friend made the wrong choice in trying to get me into this. Even until now he is trying to convince me.

If there's one thing you should know about me is I am a very negative person, and the funny part is my friend knows this about me. Why he thought I would be POSTIVE here was actually a surprise. Open minded? YEAH NO. FUCK THAT. There is no way in hell I will ever be open minded about Pyramid scheme. I was open minded about their product, but definitely not their business structure. I am the type of person who loves to spend money on myself and others, but NOT ON PYRAMID SCHEMES. And then there's WILLING. Bruhhh I am so fucking lazy. The fact that I was willing to go to this business meeting in the first place was already too much for me. How many times I almost tried to cancel. If he wasn't a good friend to me, I would have done everything in my power to get out of it. But yeah me willing to put in any effort on a pyramid scheme is soooooooo not going to happen. Enthusiastic???? HHAHHAHAHAHHAH I had a sour face the whole time. You aint going to catch me be enthusiastic about any type of pyramid scheme.

I dont know. I still can't fathom why anyone would join a pyramid scheme.

A few hours ago my friend messages me before he went to sleep saying he was sorry he knew that I didn't have much sleep. I was fine. I just love to complain a lot (part of my negative vibe I am trying to put out into the world) anyways, I went to it that's all that matters to me, that I was able to keep my promise... but then this foo saw my "pyramid scheme" story on social media, and he sends me a video link titled "Is *COMPANY NAME* a scam?" I didn't watch the video. I went straight to the comments section. Of course the top comments are from "users" and "reps" of the company boasting about how great the company and the product is. All the way at the bottom was the real comment. The commenter said something about how the person on the video didn't mention anything about the company and their business structure, he was just selling the product. So was the video link my friend sent me proof that the company isn't a scam? NO. I never told him I thought it was a scam, i merely mentioned it was a pyramid scheme, and like I have said somewhere in this post that not all pyramid schemes are scams... I just don't like pyramid schemes.

Anyways, Pyramid schemes aren't for me. Nor will I partake in any form of joining them.

Side story which is funny and stupid... I didn't want my friend to look bad so I went straight to that stupid meeting without eating breakfast... when the person came and took me to the lounge area, they had donuts and coffee provided, my dumbass thought they might have put their product into the donuts or coffees so I didn't eat or drink anything there. hahahahha. I feel bad for my friend if he actually joined, hopefully he will be able to bamboozle someone else. that isn't me. He shouldn't tell our coworkers if he tries to recruit someone else from work that I went to that meeting, because let me tell you, there's no way I am lying to them. I will tell them not to join. AHahahhaha

#pyramid scheme #rant

[i-amusemyself]

1 To 116.

Thanks anon!! Thats my boredom cured for the evening

1: Let’s start with a tricky one; what is the real reason you are confused right now?

I’m actually not confused right now, which is a bloody rarity. I suppose I could say I’m slightly confused about my gender, but I try not to think about that tbh

2: Do you ever get “good morning” texts from anyone?

Occasionally, though to be fair I’m never awake in the mornings atm lmao

3: If your significant other smoked pot, would you care?

On a rare occasion? No. All the time? Probably.

4: Do you find it easy to trust others?

Fuck no lmao have you met people?

5: What were you doing at 11PM last night?

Umm...I was with my bf..

6: You’re drunk and lost walking down the road; who is with you?

Probably my mate from uni @bookdragonphoenix

7: What would you do if you found out you had been cheated on?

Instant break up. No excuses for that.

8: Are you close with your dad?

Hoo boi that’s complicated! It varies honestly, but more so than some people I guess

9: I bet you kissed someone last night, right?

Yeah

10: What are you listening to?

I’m listening to Ke$ha’s Die Young. It’s a tune okay?

11: You can only drink ONE liquid for the rest of your life - what is it?

Coke Cola (that is how you spell it right? Fuck im dumb). I live off it anyway tbh

12: Do you like hickeys?

Um, I like getting them but I get embarrased if some people see them lmfao

13: What time do you go to bed?

Like 12am? Usually about 2 hours after I’m tired enough to sleep smh

14: Is there someone who continuously lets you down?

Besides me? I guess a couple of people that are...distant friends and possibly a few family members, not to call anyone out

15: Can you text as quickly with one hand as you do both?

Well no lmao

16: Do you always answer your texts?

90% of them

17: Do you hate the person you fell the hardest for?

I don’t know who I fell the hardest for. I don’t really recall past emotions that well.

18: When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends?

Todayy

19: Is there someone that makes you happy every time you see them?

3 or 4 people yeah!

20: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?

Fuck me I don’t know. Probably ughhh can I fall asleep pls

21: Is anyone else in the room with you?

Nope. I havent even seen another human today lmao

22: Do you believe what goes around comes around?

To an extent, but it’s not always guaranteed unfortunately

23: Were you happier four months ago than you are now?

Fuck no lmao

24: Is there someone you wish you could fix things with?

That depends on the definition of fix. If it solely relies on me doing things different, then no. But if it means someone else can themselves be fixed, sure.

25: In the past week, have you cried?

Nah, wish I could though I feel like I need to

26: What colour is the shirt you are wearing?

Grey

27: Do people ever call you by your last name?

Not people I see anymore

28: Is anyone ignoring you right now?

Don’t think so. I think people are just busy.

29: Do you have a best friend?

I have multiple

30: Would it be hard seeing someone else kiss the last person you kissed?

Very :/

31: Who was your last call/text message from?

@oneshappyplace bc she loves it when i throw random shit her way and vice versa

32: Are you mad at anyone?

I mean besides the people I have long term issues with? Nah

33: Have you ever kissed someone older than you?

Haha yeah

34: How old will the last person you kissed be on his/her next birthday?

20. Oh jeeeeesus christ that’s a scary fucking thought. Nope-ing away from that.

35: How many more days until your birthday?

8 months ish?

36: Do you have any summer plans yet?

I’m going away to quite a few places. There’s more I want to do but I don’t know if it will ever get organised.

37: Do you have any good friends of the opposite sex?

Besides my bf, not good ones. 

Edit: I completely forgot about one of my friends, yes I do

38: Are you keeping anything from your best friend(s) now?

Not intentionally. Idk. Don’t ask don’t tell I guess.

39: Do you have a secret that you’ve never told anyone?

Yeah bc it aint anyones business

40: Have you ever regretted kissing someone?

I don’t think so. 

41: Do you think age matters in relationships?

To an extent. Massive age gaps are weird, especially if one of them is hella young

42: Are you available?

Nein

43: How many people have you had real, strong feelings for since high school ended?

2

44: If you had to get a piercing (not ears), what would you get?

Eyebrow piercing

45: Do you believe exes can be friends?

I guess? I mean I probs couldn’t do that but I guess for others 

46: Do you regret anything?

So fucking much omfg

47: Honestly, what’s on your mind right now?

How shit I am at communication. I’m really starting to get mad at myself and wonder what the fuck is wrong with me.

48: Did you ever lose a best friend?

In a way, yeah

49: Was your last kiss a mistake?

No

50: Why aren’t you pursuing the person you like?

I...am ig

51: Has the last person you kissed ever seen you cry?

Yup

52: Do you still talk with the person you LAST kissed?

Wow this is relentless with the kissing. Yah

53: What was the last thing you ate?

An orange

54: Did you get any compliments today?

Nope

55: Where are you going on your next vacation?

Suffolk for latitude festival. How I ended up going there is a long story lmao

56: Do you own anything from other countries?

Tons of stuff I guess. I mean I’m wearing my ohio state tshirt haha

57: Are most of your friend guys or girls?

Girls

58: Where have you lived most of your life?

In the middle of england

59: When was the last time you took a long drive?

Fucking hell, like 7 or 8 weeks ago when I came back to uni

60: Have you ever played Spin the Bottle?

Who hasn’t?

61: Have you ever TPd someone’s house?

Nah 

62: Who do you text the most?

Probably @oneshappyplace or @apricot-el they get all my bs

63: What was the last movie you saw?

It’s called Chronicle, it was p good

64: What’s preventing your current boyfriend/girlfriend from going back to their ex?

Don’t fekkin ask that lmao! Hopefully the fact they’re happy and their ex is now miles away

65: How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have in 2011?

Zero

66: Is the last person you kissed younger than you?

Nein

67: Do you curse around your parents?

Yeah, much to their dislike

68: Are you happy with where you live?

Yeah, but I’m only here for 3 more weeks

69: Picture of yourself?

No chance. Just imagine stereotypical androgenous kid, but lanky af

70: Are you a monogamous person or do you believe in open-ended relationships?

Personally I prefer monogamy

71: Have you ever been dumped?

Um...I actually can’t remember

72: What do you most like about making out?

Feeling wanted ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (sweet sweet depression and anxiety)

73: Have you ever casually made out with someone who you weren’t seriously involved with?

Nah

74: When you kiss someone for the first time, is it usually you who initiates it or the other?

Strangely enough, me

75: What part of a person’s body do you find most attractive?

I cannot seriously pick one part

76: Who was the last person you talked to last night before you went to bed?

You guessed it it’s @oneshappyplace

77: Had sex with someone you knew less than an hour?

I mean I’m alone

78: Had sex with someone you didn’t know their name?

Nope

79: What makes your heart flutter and brings a big cheesy smile to your face?

Just cute unexpected gestures I suppose

80: Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already?

I mean, maybe not currently but who knows if I was older

81: Has someone who had a crush on you ever confessed to you?

Yeah

82: Do you tell a lot of people when you have a crush?

Just my closest friends and the person I have a crush on *eye roll*

83: Do you miss your last sweetie?

No

84: Last time you slow danced with someone?

Years ago

85: Have you ever ‘dated’ someone you’ve never met?

I mean I’ve met them now but yes 

86: How can I win your heart?

Be a kind, understanding human being with a damn good sense of humor

87: What is your astrological sign?

Libra

88: What were you doing last night at 12 AM?

Bothering friends lmao

89: Do you cook?

Occasionally. I used to a lot more but depression

90: Have you ever gotten back in touch with an old flame after a time of more than 3 months of no communication?

Yeah, but it only ever seems to be me making the effort, so every time I’ve let them go again

91: If you’re single right now, do you wish you were in a relationship?

see like all previous answers lol

92: Do you prefer to date various people or do you pretty much fall into monogamous relationships quickly?

Monogamous stuff

93: What physical traits do you look for in a potential interest?

I honestly don’t know. I can never figure out my type, just, hotness lmao

94: Name four things that you wish you had!

Dopamine, money, the power to help others more...thats it thats all I want

95: Are you a player?

Nein

96: Have you ever kissed 2 people in one day?

Nope

97: Are you a tease?

I can be but not in a cruel way

98: Ever meet anyone you met on Tumblr?

Two people and we’re still close

99: Have you ever been deeply in love with someone?

That’s a loaded question yikes. I dont know.

100: Anybody on Tumblr that you’d go on a date with?

I mean I don’t know their tumblr but yh

101: Hugs or Kisses?

Both. I can’t choose. I’m bi.

102: Are you too shy to ask someone out?

Probs idk

103: The first thing you notice about the opposite sex?

....their face?

104: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you babe?

Sure

105: If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was in relationship, would you go for it?

Not until I knew wtf they were playing at

106: Do you flirt a lot?

I’m hopeless at it

107: Your last kiss?

Yesterday

108: Have you kissed more than 5 people since the start of 2012?

I haven’t kissed that many people, full stop.

109: Have you kissed anyone in the past month?

Yikes see 107

110: If you could kiss anyone who would it be?

The bae tbh

111: Do you know who you’ll kiss next?

I have a p good idea

112: Does someone like you currently?

I fekkin hope so

113: Do you currently have feelings for anyone?

Yeah lmao

114: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings?

Serious shit 

115: Ever made out with just a friend?

Once when drunk 

116: Are you happier single or in a relationship?

In a relationship, for sure

[intimatevoid]

stolen from @littledonkeyburrito

1. Do you have callouses on your fingers? I did, back when I still played guitar often. Not anymore. 2. Ever seen the movie Sky High? Fucking iconic. 3. Do you think that horses are a bit terrifying? They are truly the most evil of creatures.

4. Do you do the grocery shopping? Who else is going to do it?

5. Do you like laying out?   I don’t understand what this means..?

6. How many times have you been to the beach? Never since reaching adulthood.

7. What time do you like to wake up?   I like to wake up early, like 6am. I ACTUALLY wake up at any time between 7 and midday, depending on when I fell asleep the night before, and how badly my mental illness is playing up.

8. Do you have your own car?   I do. But it was old and crappy when I got it, and I suspect it will die before the end of next year.

9. How often do you listen to music? Usually when I'm driving, cooking, cleaning and showering.

10. Have you ever ridden a train? Are there people in western countries that haven’t been on a train?

11. Have you done anything productive today, anyway? I called my JSA about postponing my appointment til tomorrow, and made Ash a cup of tea.

12. Eaten anything delicious today? Mark bought Ash and me Chinese food last night - a rare treat for us - and I had leftovers for breakfast.

13. Have you ever dated someone simply for their looks? While I'm attracted to people's looks, I'm pretty sure my motives for dating have always been mental and emotional.

14. How many boyfriends have you had in 2017? One.

15. Do you know your Social Security number by heart? I think I've memorised most of my ID numbers.

16. How often do you say ‘lol’ in a computer or text conversation? Not very often. Usually I say haha, or when I'm being more sarcastic, lmao.

17. Can you curse around your parents? When we talk on the phone I use curse words, yeah.

18. Are you happy with where you live? It's a good house but too cramped. Town-wise, Toowoomba is trash but it's the coolest (as in temperature) region you'll find north of Victoria.

19. Do people ever mistake you for being a different race? No, I’m pretty damn pasty.

20. If you had the chance to move to a completely different state, would you? I don't know. All the people I care about are here. Losing their proximity would wreck me.

21. Do you have a flag? Like, a physical flag made of fabric? No.

22. Do you know where the gun in your house is?   Good god, what a terrifying assumption.

23. Have you ever kissed anyone with a tongue piercing? I have kissed several people with them.

24. You are spending the night alone in the woods and may bring only 3 items with you. What do you bring? Bug spray, sleeping bag, water.

25. Do you still see your ex? Seb and I still occasionally see each other, yeah. 26. Name the last thing to make you angry? I don’t get angry very often, so it's hard to say. 27. What has been the best year of your life so far? I don't know tbh. Every year has been either bad or weird. I guess 2016 was the least bad. 28. If someone liked you now, would you want them to tell you? Yup~ 29. The last person you held hands with, what’s their best feature? They have beautiful eyes and gentle hands and an excellent tum.

30. Is there a high chance you’ll see someone good looking tomorrow? I probably will look in a mirror, yeah

31. When was the last time you flew in a plane? Back in 2012.

32. Think of the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them in a car? Yes. 33. Do you mind sleeping on the floor? I'd rather not, but I can if I must. 34. Do you have a good relationship with your mother? Not at all. Though at least it's better than my relationship with my dad... 35. What is your least favourite season? 3 36. Have you hugged anyone in the last 72 hours? I have hugged someone in the last 72 minutes. 37. What do you hear right now? The wind outside my window, the dull rumble of trucks on the highway, a distant train horn, the town clock ringing for 10am, and the quiet hum of my computer. 38. If you say you’ll call someone back, will you? Yes, unless I forget.

39. Do you toss and turn for hours at night or do you just fall straight to sleep? Depends on how tired I am and how mentally well I am. 40. What color shirt were you wearing when you had your last kiss? Same shirt I'm wearing right now, since it was at the same time as that last hug too. :P White. 41. Where do you want to live when you’re older? I want to move to Montreal with @aelwen, sometime in the next ten to twenty years. 42. When you sleep on your bed, is stuff usually on it? Sometimes. I usually kick it off though. 43. Is it easy to make you smile? Very easy. 44. Do you like to play on playgrounds? When is the last time you did? God, it's been ages. I think the last time, I was in high school, and was sitting on a playground in Gatton with a friend while we waited for our dads to pick us up.

45. What do you think of when you hear the word “meow"? Kitties and how much I love them :3

46. Have you ever slept on a couch with someone else?

I don't think so. Sounds cramped.

47. What’s the background on your cell? A gorgeous selfie that @aelwen sent me.

48. Name the last four beds you sat on? My bed at home, Ash's bed, Ruin's bed, and Dakota's bed.

49. Would you rather have a poodle or Rottweiler? Hard to say. Whichever would be easier to care for. I wouldn't want to be a bad caretaker.

50. Would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum? Zoo, probably. I haven't been to one of those in years, but I've been to an art gallery more recently.

51. Do you wear hats if you’re having a bad hair day? My hair refuses to let me wear hats. There's too much of it.

52. Would you ever go bald if it was the style? Been there, done that, never again.

53. Does your bedroom have a door? Yeah, but it's a repurposed front door, and literally has a big glass window in the middle of it.

54. Do you think two people can last forever? The people of pompeii have lasted pretty well so far, but forever is still a bit of a stretch.

55. How many windows are open on your computer? No idea. I'm answering this on my phone.

56. What is your ringtone? The Overwatch POTG music. Actually it's about time I changed it...

57. Does your mum try to be cool? Idk. I haven't seen her in years.

58. What are you listening to? Now that I've moved to Ash's room, it's different. I'm listening to the wind blowing through the plants outside the window, faint voices from the park across the road, the whirring of my fan, cars passing by, and Ash using their mouse and keyboard.

59. What were you doing before you took this survey? Napping. My sleep cycle is fucked.

60. What things did you eat today? Leftover Chinese food.

61. Do you think you gained or lost weight this past month? Gained, and it went to my hips and boobs, hell yes

62. What kind of milk do you drink? Long life. Ash and I are poor and have to buy in bulk.

63. Do you swear at your parents?

Generally not AT them. I’ll use swear words in conversation with them though. Though more recently I swore at my cunt of a dad.

64. Have you ever been ice skating? No, just a tonne of roller skating.

65. Do you always wear your seat belt? Yeah, it's the law here and also I've been in enough crashes to know it's necessary.

66. Do you like sushi? I love sushi.

67. What food do you find disgusting? Very, very few. I tend to be more indifferent about foods than hateful. But let me think... Weetbix, couscous, things with nasty textures like that.

68. Do older members of the opposite sex ever hit on you? Hahaha, nobody ever hits on me.

59. Do you drink the 6-8 cups of water a day? I have a 2L water bottle that I finish off once or twice a day.

60. What does your last outgoing message say? “orrrrr i could fall asleep again"

61. Could you date someone taller than you? Oh yes. :3

62. What is your current mood? Vague.

63. Does it bother you to have dirt on the bottom of your bare feet? Not really, as long as the ground isn't too hot.

64. Who was your first crush? lmao it was Lt. Helga Sinclair from Atlantis

65. What are you wearing on your feet? Nothing because it would be insanity in this weather

66. Last person who drove you somewhere? Ash, I think

67. Have you ever had a crush on a teacher? No, I don't think I ever have.

68. Do you prefer fruit or vegetables? I consume more vegetables but I don’t think I actually prefer one over the other.

69. What are your favourite textures? Smooth skin. Fluffy fabric. Reeeeeeally soft pillows.

70. If you won a LOT of money the lottery and decided to move, where would you move to? I would go visit a bunch of my friends before settling down in Canada, I think.

71. Alcoholic beverage of choice? Vodka tbh ^^;

72. What’s the youngest you would consider dating? Hard to say. I'd be hesitant to date anyone under the age of 21, though, bc emotional maturity.

73. If you were around in the sixties would you be a mod or a rocker? I don’t know what those words mean

74. Are thongs sexy? You ain’t actually talkin bout flipflops are ya?

75. What do you think of when I say “the twenties”? My age..?

76. Is penetration important to you? What context could this possibly be other than sexual?

77. What sport were you best at in high school? Me? Sport? High school? Ahahahahahaha

78. What was the last alcoholic beverage you consumed? Vodka~

79. Have you ever had a teacher hit on you? Nnnnnnope.

80. What would you do if it snowed right now? Open up the BOM website to see if it was actually happening or I was just nuts.

81. Is there anyone who understands your relationship status? It's not really difficult to grasp?

82. Have your past mistakes made you wiser? Of course.

83. What’s your opinion on good grammar: important or not? Not inherently important, as long as communication is clear. Good grammar aids in communication but doesn't guarantee it.

84. The last time you said ‘I love you’ to someone, who said it first, them or you? I’m pretty sure one of my parents said it first because I couldn’t speak when I was a newborn. 85. Do you like potato salad? Nah, not a fan. 86. Have you ever driven and ended up running out of gas? Yeah, being povo is like that. 87. What was the reason behind the last time you stayed up all night? I had an irritated eye and couldn't sleep for all the itching.

88. How old were you when you were first pulled over by the police? 20 or so, I think, for an rbt.

89. When was the last time you drank out of a champagne glass?

Never.

90. Does it flood easily where you live?

Not in this specific part of town, but Toowoomba as a whole certainly does. *remembers 2011 with a shudder*

#tumblr games #maddie i left in some of your answers because they were perfect

[hangonimevolving]

Falling flat.  TIRED.  Big zero.  Skidding off track.

Okay, I had a little bit of title indecision with this post :)

Allow me to regale you with a brief tale from my training run today.

I sent out for a 4-miler this morning on my new favorite route, the access road along the FL-826E expressway (also known as “The Palmetto”).  I’d just run it a few days ago on my 6-miler, but I’d started out pre-dawn, when it was still very dark outside, and thus perhaps THE TREASURE was out there that day, but I didn’t see it.

But I did see THE TREASURE today.

What treasure?  Well, this: I was about halfway along in the run, when I look over the steel guard rail that separates the road/bike path from a grassy area and a big long canal - - and I see THIS BEAUTY:

This picture doesn’t convey the size of the tire.  But it was a nice, big tire.  A truck tire, perhaps.  And the PERFECT kind of tire for cross-training, practicing tire flips, etc.

So this is kind of a weird confession - but I’ve been really wanting to have a big old tractor tire in my backyard for a few years now.  Tractor tires are GREAT fitness tools - you can use them to do box jumps, step-ups, tire flips, sit-ups and back extensions, sumo squats, and a number of other drills.  I’d even been looking on the app Letgo for free/cheap tires on and off over the year....

I’d even heard that you can go to a tractor/truck tire dealer, and ask if they have any “junk tires” (i.e. used up, worn-out tread) for donation or cheap sale, and that often they’d be happy to give you one.  But I just hadn’t bothered yet.

Anyway - so I find this big ass tire on my run, and I’m thinking “ITS CHRISTMAS MORNING!”  Except.... I am on foot, 2 miles away from my house, and obviously this thing is huge.  I need to make a plan about how to get it home.  

So I pull up Google Maps on my phone, and drop a pin...

And then I run the rest of the way home, in fact picking up my average mile pace in the process because I’m so damn excited about my new tire.

I get home sopping wet with sweat, immediately swipe my purse and car keys from inside, grab a big cup of water and a towel, then jump in the car.  And I realize - hmm, I might need some tools and equipment to get this bad boy into the car.  It’s gonna weigh a ton!  So I look around the garage, and grab a few things: a big stepladder we have, to use as a ramp to roll the tire up into the trunk; a pair of gardening gloves.  Some bungee cable, in case I have to rope the trunk shut if I can’t close it with the tire inside.  ETc.  

So then I take off down the road, and find myself near the tire.  I actually overshot a little, unfortunately - I was parked at least 30-40 feet from the tire.  The spot where the tire was located happens to be where the road begins to curve, and there’s not much shoulder on which to pull over.  Plus, its a curve - cars going at a fast pace could clip my parked car, and I am worried about this. I park and throw on the hazard lights, and realize I need to do this FAST.

I walk about 30 paces back, find my tire, and do some quick planning.  I manage - miraculously, to flip it up, roll it up a small, very grassy/bramble-y embankment, and get it over a 24″ steel barricade - this is nothing short of a miracle.  The tire is HEAVY.  As I flipped it up, I realize it is heavier than the amount of weight I currently deadlift (approx 80 lbs) during circuit training.  I am able to get it up, so it isn’t as heavy as some gym tires I’ve tried to use - but its damn heavy.

Okay - so now its over on the road-side of the barricade, and I have the task of CAREFULLY rolling it the 30 feet back to my car.  This is not easy.  Again, its heavy, and I am very conscious that if I lose control of it, its going to roll into the road and possibly cause a giant accident.  So I’m super careful.  

I get it to my car, and I am AMAZED AT MYSELF OMG.

DUDE.  It is HUGE.  Look at the size of it, relative to my car.  

I can practically taste victory - I am so excited and abuzz, thinking about how if I can just get it in the car, I will have an awesome, heavy-but-not-too-heavy-to-flip-bc-I-just-did-it tire to work with in my backyard.

Yeah.  So.  Then I get to trying to load the m#$%^er.

Bruhhhhh.  I tried everything.  I make the ramp with the ladder, and I try rolling it up.  It is honest to god like the Greek god Sisyphus, pushing a boulder up a mountain, only to have it roll back down again.  

(aside: I love the myth of Sisyphus, and in fact have blogged about it here before, in reference to running with a jogging stroller) 

Anyway, - with the tire, I am vaguely paranoid that it is going to roll backwards and either cause me a spinal injury, make me pull an oblique, knock out my ankle from underneath me, etc. so I am worried and tentative.  But I DO try.  I give it a solid 45 minutes of effort.  I know that I have to  roll it about 2/3 of the way up the ladder ramp, of course being VERY careful to keep it centered and not running off track (impossible feat #1), then somehow, 2/3 of the way up, get it to lay flat on the ramp (impossible feat #2) and then stay stationary right there on the ramp (impossible feat #3) while I then run into the car, climb in, and then lay on my tummy while pulling the tire the rest of the way up, into the trunk (impossible feat #4).  The one non-negotiable thing that was needed here, was another set of hands and muscle to stand on the opposite side of the ladder, help the tire stay balanced and stationary while I did all that running around.  That’s it.  That was the difference between my plan working, and not.

I am staring these impossibilities in the face, and still I try.  Because I am ordinarily not a quitter.  And - 45+ minutes in the sweltering sun, and this too post-4 mile run, on a curved expressway service road that has infrequent, but VERY fast-moving vehicle traffic - - I realized it just wasn’t gonna happen.  There was NO way.  And so, with a heavy heart, I made the decision to abandon my Big Baby right there, on the side of the road.

I was so disappointed, frustrated, and sad, that I could have just hit someone.  Or cried.  Or both.  It felt like some sort of personal failure in a way, tht I couldn’t get this mammoth tire into my car by myself, even though obviously its an absurd task.

Lessons learned?  So the truth is, as the day went on, and Dr. Spouse and I had an enjoyable lunch together hours later, I realized I should stop moping, and find a lesson in this.  And I think I found it:

I’m very good about making a commitment and sticking to it, no matter how difficult, personally daunting or exhausting it is, no matter my aptitude or interest.  I am a promise-keeper.  Its what I am.  I’m borderline pathological about it.  I am also a planner - I will think of a task, and all the things I maybe kinda sorta MIGHT need to get it done, and I’ll prepare everything.  But there is one thing I SUCK AT soooo bad, and that is acknowledging that in life, there are so very, very many things that aren’t just about effort and intention, planning and preparation, and a person’s singular, dedicated effort.

So much of life involves humans needing other humans’ help and support.

Yes.  Technically, I was strong enough to flip that tire.  I was strong enough and clever enough to strategize a way to get it over that steel barricade.  I was careful enough and responsible enough to roll it down the street slowly and cautiously, without jeopardizing myself or other drivers.  I was even resourceful enough to make a ramp and get the thing like 2/3 of the way up the ramp alone.  BUT.  I couldn’t be TWO people.  No matter how hard I tried, no matter how many tools I brought.  I couldn’t multiply myself.  I couldn’t be my own assistant and supporter, my own helper.  I really just needed one more person there.  

In this case, I didn’t have anyone to ask - not at this time of day, and not in my immediate area did I have a friend or contact with the muscle and the understanding about my crazy need for a truck tire, or my weird fitness interests at all.  But - maybe the lesson here isn’t about truck tires, tire flips, quads and delts and fast-twitch muscle fibers.

Maybe I need to learn to ask for help with stuff.  Maybe I need to open my mouth and take the risk of saying, I can’t do this alone.  Can you help me?  

My truck tire won’t be here to help me get stronger.  But its got my wheels turning nonetheless.

#fitness #running #half marathon #ocrtraining #randomness #deep thoughts