#but I often feel like that

[wanderingmind867]

I have 199 followers, yet I only follow 189 people. I find that odd. I mean, there's nothing wrong with it. But I think it just proves I've become more sedentary the longer I've had a tumblr account. I still barely leave my dashboard (well, I leave it now more than I did a few months ago, but still not too often), I barely ever follow new people, etc. I just overthink everything and then feel bad about it.

#autism #asd #neurodivergent #I feel like I don't do much #even online #whether that's true or not #idk #but I often feel like that #and i don't like it #insecure #insecurity #neurotic #neuroticism #autistic #adhd #actually autistic #audhd

[sylvies-kablooie]

i do unironically think the best artists of our generation are posting to get 20 notes and 3 reblogs btw. that fanfic with like 45 kudos is some of the best stuff ever written. those OCs you carry around have some of the richest backstories and worldbuilding someone has ever seen. please do not think that reaching only a few people when you post means your art isn't worth celebrating.

#i often wonder about how many things would be considered classic or high art had they only received the marketing #how many short films that were made for class could have been the most powerful thing you'd ever seen? if you'd seen them? #“you know the greatest films of all time were never made” etc etc #but like. these works of art ARE being made. it's just enjoyed by a smaller audience with equal impact though #i think about this one furry i used to follow on insta who had the coolest worldbuilding ever. it's been years. #thought prompted by that sketch of nimona from ten years ago that was just for a character design #posted to the creator's tumblr and now it's nominated for best animated feature film at the oscars #and by the genuine emotional reaction a fan comic made me feel. how much work had gone into it. how beautiful it was to me. #idk what to tag this but i hope whoever needs to hear it does #writing #writer #fandom #fandom culture #artist

[brawnie]

*grabbing mlm shippers by the shoulders* guys nobody needs to be the twink. nobody needs to be the sub. nobody needs to be the femboy. they can both be big fat hairy men who bask in each others masculinity or they can both be unspeakable monstrous creatures with inhuman genitalia it’s okay I’m holding your hand. Let me show you the way

#shipping #this is about a lot of ships #so I’m gonna tag a few #zosan #zolu #destiel #radioapple #I’m not saying you can’t play around with these themes man #I just feel like they’re shoehorned in so often #lawlu #davekat #pepsicola #sabriel #lgbt #fandom #dirkjake #10k #20k #1k

[bereft-of-frogs]

There’s that post that’s like ‘everyone should get into a tiny niche fandom at least once’ fully agree, that was really fun -- but I would like to add that everyone should get into a fandom where their opinions run counter to major fanon because it really teaches you about sticking to your guns and trusting your interpretation of the text without having to rely on peer validation

because WHAT are people talking about sometimes

#aka: genuinely sometimes I think I live in a parallel universe and simply watched/read different things #full disclosure it does make you feel like a killjoy sometimes #because often times these fanons will be presented in a silly jokey manner #'oh so silly isn't this character so funny this is just my silly little headcanon' #and it's like yes yes lol lol but ok look me in the eyes and tell me you know that this is #at best only one interpretation of many and at worst simply not supported by the text at all #please tell me you know that #or in one specific example such a ubiquitous joke that is literally a significant theme of the work and i feel like SUCH a killjoy #being like 'ok yes very funny.....you know that was a major theme right?? tell me you know that'

[cemeterything]

i'm aromantic but to me the most romantic words in the universe are "you won't hurt me". i trust you to try not to cause me pain, and you can trust me to have the self-preservation instincts and knowledge and respect for your boundaries not to let you.

#🐉 #yes i often feel more like an unsocialised beaten animal than a man. thats not important right now though.

[wis-art]

I'm sorry but I'm just so angry, we really do need to include black people in queer art there is no queer history without black people I'm tired of barely seeing any black coded characters on this site. Being queer is not a white thing but it feels like it's the default on this website.

#I'm sorry but there are barely any designs that look like my bf in the gay corners #they're the vast majority i feel like people like him are often overlooked and forgotten and it makes me mad #im mad that righteous torrence chevy hill was killed #I'm mad that people like him and my bf often dont get recognized in art #im mad that my bf is scared #im mad about lots of things

[deadlydelicious]

the quiet whispered way Owen Wilson says 'let time pass' is actually devastating.

don't ever let anyone think he's somehow a lesser actor than Hiddleston just because he cut his teeth in Ben Stiller movies not Shakespeare. That wistful delivery gutted me every bit as much as Loki's shaky smile when he realizes what he has to do.

#owen wilson #mobius #loki #loki season 2 #lokius #all props to tom too but i feel like we as fans talk about is phenomenal skill so often - owen deserves some recognition too

[milk-lover]

Sobbing uncontrollably reading through a dissertation about the college experience of students with ADHD. It is like reading a report about my life that just says over and over "My experiences are real. My hardships are real. I am not lazy, I am not dumb. My struggles were not my fault, and they were not a moral failing. The failure was with the system, not with me."

Here's a line that got me in particular:

"Hotez et al.(2022) compared the health, academic, and non-academic capacities of a nationally representative sample of U.S. first-year college students with ADHD and without ADHD. Students with ADHD self-reported lower academic aspirations and more feelings of depression and overwhelm, ranking themselves lower in their general emotional health. The fact that students with ADHD scored in the highest 10th percentile for many non-academic traits, such as artistic ability, computer skills, creativity, public speaking, social confidence, self-understanding and understanding of others, compassion, and risk-tasking, suggests that this population has strengths that are frequently underappreciated in academia."

(the paper is a thesis called "Understanding the Collegiate Experience for Students With ADHD" by Gia Long, 2022)

#adhd #actually adhd #i often hyperbolize but i am dead serious when i say sobbing uncontrollably. this is why i was putting off this assignment. #1000 years of hell to professors who assign self-reflection papers /hj #i dont feel comfy posting the pdf bc its not mine butttt.. i will share it to people who dm me. #edit: pages 80-85 #edit: thank you to everyone who reached out and asked for the pdf!! i wasn’t expecting this reaction #keep reaching out I’ll keep sending it #if anyone is interested but struggles to read academic papers pls ask me for help bc I’ve gotten a lot of practice with them and am Glad to #expand someone’s access to a paper like this

[welcometogrouchland]

[ID in ALT] I've made posts before about Talia/Dick co-parenting Damian moments (will never happen but let me dream) and this came to me in a vision. Took me ages to finish for some reason 😭 and then even longer to post

#dc comics #dc #damian wayne #dick grayson #talia al ghul #batfamily #dc robin #nightwing #anyway. yes im a self-indulgent ''dick as damians secret third parent'' truther #like i DO think it's way more complex and nuanced than the schmoopy affectionate fan portrayal of it #they're brothers they're father and son they're partners they're the dynamic duo except only in past tense etc etc #but consider! I'm not immune to schmoopy affection in fanworks. it compells me despite itself #anyway it's technically not that crazy when it comes to dick and damian. they hug! often! at least they did #it's not as big a leap to these types of scenarios #also talia ''somewhat absent for complex reasons on both her and damians part but very loving and loved by her son'' al ghul #you will always be famous to me #son of the demon origin...bwahhh #anyway. someone made a comic kind of like this/like a post i made abt this topic #but way funnier bc dick and talia starting trying to beat each other up #so go look at that as well #anyway. it's been a somewhat difficult few weeks so I'm. desperately trying to take it easy #i got some reading with me (first vol of kevin smiths GA run that i found second hand and jaimes BB run vol 2!) #so we'll see how far i get through those. considering there's demons in my head telling me to re-read things (LET ME OUT!!!) #when i finish GA and BB i do plan on rereading robin 2021. as a treat to myself #it's a run I've really warmed up to as time went on #I'm keeping up w/ the current b&r run even though it is. admittedly very slow w/ some weird dialogue #i read it for the damian content more than anything. also nikas back so that's neat :] #idk I have a feeling that after absolute power shakes out we might get some more creative team switch ups #so if anyone at dc is interested in taking over the reigns on b&r...that could be very neat #(it's me they should hire me. please DC i have ideas listen to my red hood pitch PLEASE-)

[mobius-m-mobius]

Lokius in Loki 2x01 - "Ouroboros"

#mobius #loki #lokius #mcuedit #marveledit #lokiedit #loki spoilers #owen wilson #tom hiddleston #oh we're eating SO well!??? like being in a fever dream 🥺💖 #y'all i've NEVER seen two people touch as much or often as they did in this ep or coincidentally had as much fun watching anything #they put their missions on hold for each other could've died saving each other never wanted to let each other go in case more went wrong #it is episode ONE 😳😳 #also it really took me like a year to figure out my s1 coloring only to have this much fun w/ s2 after a couple hours lmao #feel more alive than i have in ages 😅 #marvel #owenwilsonedit #loki s2 spoilers #dianagifs

[wanderingmind867]

I have 205 followers, yet I only follow 192 people. I find that odd. I mean, there's nothing wrong with it. But I think it just proves I've become more sedentary the longer I've had a tumblr account. I still barely leave my dashboard (well, I leave it now more than I did a few months ago, but still not too often), I barely ever follow new people, etc. I just overthink everything and then feel bad about it.

#reposting this with updated numbers #because i still overthink it sometimes #autism #asd #neurodivergent #I feel like I don't do much #even online #whether that's true or not #idk #but I often feel like that #and i don't like it #insecure #insecurity #neurotic #neuroticism #autistic #adhd #actually autistic #audhd

[myrkkymato]

Why are you so obsessed with me?

#santa barbara is my favourite ellabs “what if” #ellie x abby #ellabs #the last of us #tlou #ellie williams #abby anderson #tlou fanart #santa barbara ellie #santa barbara abby #fan art #myrkkymato art #i should start scanning these more often #maybe this was just an excuse to draw abby's muscles or maybe not.. i guess we'll never know #i feel like i'm going to fall asleep now bye

[mroddmod]

little scrapped comic bc it felt a bit ooc to me in hindsight

#tbb #the bad batch #the bad batch season 2 #the bad batch season 3 #tbb tech #tbb omega #i was worried that this wouldn’t really come across as i intended #i’ve heard a lot of people complain about the characterization of tech in fanon #they make him a lot less capable than he is in canon just because he is the ‘nerd’ of the team #which i totally agree with #so i didn’t want it to seem like i was doing the same #i just think that tech would have a difficultly expressing some of his vulnerability around his brothers because they are so often stoic #(and frequently make fun of one another) #and omega might be the first person he feels comfortable in letting that side of him show #idk #just a sweet idea to me #anyway i decided i wasn’t going to finish this because of my fear of being misinterpreted but i did like how these sketches turned out #so here :) #a little treat #mods art #my art #mods draws #star wars #sw tbb #star wars the bad batch

[bakapandy]

Another sketch dump based on twitter suggestions!

#naruto #boruto #naruto shippuden #tsunade #rock lee #neji #tenten #shisui #minato #sasuke #sarada #darui #log #mitsuki #tobirama #tayuya #anko #pandy draws #I was feeling so rusty so I like challenging myself with characters I don't draw often

[inkskinned]

he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.

except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?

at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.

except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.

about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.

he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.

#i used to think it was romantic too and then i was like. now i see it as a HUGE red flag #writeblr #it is also almost EXCLUSIVELY said by immature ppl who think this is normal #fyi even if u think it's funny and ur like 'im an introvert it's just TRUE' like. you need therapy (ily tho) #healed introversion is just ''i would prefer to be by myself'' not ''i hate every person'' ... hate is not normal. that is not healthy #im sorry. i know it feels accurate. but if you're walking around with that kind of rage.... #1. you're making a LOT of assumptions about every single person u have ever met. which is often unfair and unkind #and also usually involves judging people based on their worst moments or little mistakes #2. you are being unfair to the person who is ur ''exception'' #3. there is a VAST difference between ''ur my favorite person'' and ''the ONLY person i like.'' #idk i think this is just a personal bias thing tbh #im sure there are people who have this experience normally #but i have YET to find a man who thinks like this and ISNT absolute DOGSHIT. although tbh.... like. im sure he exists #when u hit like 30 some of the things that were once kind of hot now just sound fucking exhausting. like ''im in a band'' #edit in the tags: i used to kind of be like this too. but the thing is that like. my life became so much more peaceful #once i started believing that people are generally good. like yes i am mad at the world at large #but it's just.... a very hard way to live. you're not a bad person or wrong for the ways other people hurt you and taught you to be angry. #but that anger will continue to hurt YOU. it will punish YOU. it will prevent YOU from making new deep connections. it will protect you yes #but it will also cause MASSIVE blowback. bc if you lose the One Person... your life will fall apart. i know this personally. #i really recommend just trying to be... cautiously optimistic instead. like. yes #people can be horrible and cruel and there are some communities (incels for example) that aren't worth that optimism #but i think like... most people will hold a door for you . most people want to help you find your wallet . #i hope one day you are able to find peace. i hope that rage eventually smooths over. i know how hard it is PERSONALLY #and i know what must have happened to you. and im deeply deeply sorry we share the same wound. #but i promise - sometimes we all need someone else to help us carry the weight. eventually the rage has to die so that we can let help in #i had to spend years biting at outstretched hands. i still often do. im still very wary . and my heart breaks that you flinch too. #here's the thing: i don't blame you. but we were both acting out of fear and pain. .... not out of healthy behavior. and ... change #was needed. i needed change too. rage was useful for a while. then it just left me isolated and bitter. i had to (with effort) #choose to let that rage go. and let people in . VERY SLOWLY THO LOL

[gooseinsoup]

save me nanny ashtoreth.... save me

saw this dress on instagram and then the worms in my brain took over :D

if anyone has a dress theyd like to suggest to see a femziraphale in... send it thru my askbox or dms cause im on the hunt too :3

#god this colouring is so sloppy but its bc i just had my first day back at school today im so tired i cbf #as soon as i got home i had one of those After School Naps #like the kind that you wake up feeling like you got hit by a bus #and now its 12:30 in the morning and im very much awake #anyways yeah art wont be coming as often unfortunately #good omens #good omens fanart #crowley #ineffable husbands #digital art #nanny ashtoreth