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meggahamicide · 2 months

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Okay, i've decided that i'm just gonna drop/dump some lore on Vermin, so if you're interested, read below! It's really long!

...o.0.O.0.o...

Personality:

Like canon-Leo's head-cannons, Vermin hides his true emotions behind a smile, but their differences are in the execution. Vermin's smiles are more wicked, more cruel, and he find amusement in making people fear him, having experience in getting people to listen to him by intimidating them.

He pretends to be indifferent to how the brothers act around him, but always keeps an eye out for any signs that they aren't as they say they are. Donnie specifically.

Big emotions are a no-no, so he hides them behind a passive face, empty of anything he's feeling so he can convince those he's talking with that he feels nothing, that he is unaffected by any stressors and anxiety. If anything get's too overwhelming, he retreats to a hidden corner to wait it out and tries not to remember how Draxum treated him when he let his emotions get the better of him.

Because he was raise without certain privileges, he gets extremely giddy around new experiences, such as sampling new foods and trying out video games and skateboarding. It's probably the only time he lets his guard down because he's so entranced by whatever is happening he forgets that he's not supposed to be showing emotion.

...o.0.O.0.o...

Relationships:

Raphael:

With Raph, Vermin just doesn't know how to deal with him. An injury brings Vermin to the lair and Raph is the one who heals him, but Vermin in uncertain whether or not he can trust someone with such obvious strength he can easily use to harm Vermin. He doesn't understand why Raph is so kind nervous when he could dominate his enemies.

Michelangelo:

Mikey is the one Vermin accepts the easiest other than April. Mikey has a way to handle Vermin without being too invasive and without threatening the slider in any way shape or form and eventually shows Vermin that there is kindness that is not expected to be repaid. He also helps Vermin lean into his chaotic mindset without it becoming harmful to others, like teaching him how to prank the other brothers.

And of course, Vermin loves trying his food, so Mikey basically tempts the slider like he might a feral cat.

Donatello:

Donnie is the one Vermin has the hardest time accepting. He's convinced he can easily beat the soft-shell in a fight, but once he discovers that Donnie is a scientist, he becomes wary of him, skittish and uncomfortable whenever he's around. He knows that there are other ways to get someone to obey than simply fighting.

It takes Donnie being patient and showing him that he means no harm over time that earns his trust. The softshell just has to break through the notion that all scientist are evil and only seek to destroy that which is closest to them. Donnie even goes as far as to promise to never let anything happen to Vermin ever again.

April O'Neil:

The first one to show kindness when Vermin leaves Draxum's lab. She shows the slider a side of society that he was being deprived of when he was with Draxum, helping him see that there is a place for everyone, that things don't need to hurt to be beneficial. She pretty much forcefully adopts him as her little brother and is even protective of him when he interacts with her other brothers.

Baron Draxum:

Was raised by Draxum. More info in the timeline.

...o.0.O.0.o...

Timeline:

Content Warnings: blood and injury, references to child abuse, loss of limb, needles, non-consensual drug use (kind of), non-consensual experimentation and surgery.

It gets dark, so be cautious of the warnings!

Age 0-4:

In the beginning, Lou Jitsu, later known as Splinter, only rescues three of the turtles, who eventually go by the name Donatello, Raphael, and Michelangelo. The remaining turtle, identified by his red markings, is picked up by Baron Draxum before the lab explodes, destroying his life work. The only remaining bit of his research is the tiny creature small enough in the palm of his hand.

Quick to find a place to stay and recover, the Baron begins working to piece together his research using his subject. He starts a book, scribbling down anything worth noting and refraining from any larger tests besides bloodwork and skin-scraping until the subject is larger, better able to withstand any more intrusive tests.

He begins raising the creature, claiming it as his own.

Age 5-8:

Called by the title Red, the slider reaches acceptable cognizance to begin training by the age of five. He is small, just below the Baron's knee, but he is intelligent enough to understand complex problem solving and language. Weapons training is less successful than desired, but that could be related to the subject's weaker limbs and child-like nature.

Baron Draxum is relentless in his education, always prepared to deliver swift punishment should Red be unable to comply with his desires. Red hates the punishment, often times covered in bruises from the extra training or with a headache from spending his nights in 'The Room,' but he is just as stubborn as his guardian, if not more so. He always seeks to make his boss proud, ignoring the voice that always tells him he's not strong enough, not good enough. Baron Draxum always has a reason for saying things like that, so Red knows he just has to try harder.

He's not exactly sure what a human is, but the Baron is convinced that he needs to kill them all.

Every other week, the Baron brings Red to another room where he 'collects samples.' Red doesn't know what they're for, but he's seen the elder gather some of his freshly peeled chutes and teeth when they fall off, always writing in that journal with a little turtle drawn on the front.

One night, when he's just turned eight, Baron Draxum leaves in a hurry. He's gone for hours, leaving Red to his own devices and wondering if maybe the yokai had finally got bored of him, wondering if he just left him behind because he couldn't satisfy him. Red tries not to listen to the little voice in his head that says maybe that's a good thing, maybe it's better if he stays gone.

Red doesn't see him until the next day, well into the night, and suddenly, he regrets ever thinking those nasty things of his guardian. The yokai is hunched by the door, missing an arm and looking very tired. Red runs to him, but the Baron doesn't even acknowledge him, holding a towel to his stump.

Red is crying. He knows he shouldn't, knows that tears mean weakness, but he's afraid for his boss, afraid of what is happening, because that's a lot of blood. He feels something well up in his chest as he sits next to his guardian, the feeling swelling into his lungs and arms, weaving through his bones and into his fingers, bright, blue light zapping over his fingers. Something guides his hand, pressing them against the yokai's injury and forcing the light into him.

He heals Baron Draxum.

Baron Draxum looks at him like he's solved the world's problems.

Age 9-10:

Test after test after test. Red is sure he's never been through so many tests, but he finally sees the Baron's pride and he wants to impress him, so he doesn't complain when the needle digs too far, or when the scalpel scrapes a little to much skin. This new power is good, that's all he knows. Baron Draxum calls it mystic energy, says that it was a power he was seeking all along, so Red doesn't complain when all of the test make him tired enough to pass out, or make him cry himself to sleep because his chest aches from how long he had to work. Baron Draxum is proud, proud enough to give him a portal sword and teach him how to use it, proud enough to hand him a pair of tonfa and guide him through the motions of building a shield, proud enough to smile when Red uses the kusari-fundo for the first time.

Red trains his new skill until he's sick, until he can't stand, until he can't feel the first time Baron Draxum uses that strange, green liquid on him.

Baron Draxum was proud.

Age 11-13:

Red is pretty sure his name isn't Red any more. It's Vermin. At least, that's what the Baron has started to call him.

Ever since he stopped being able to use mystic energy without fainting, Baron Draxum has stopped using that old name. Now he was a pest, a creature incapable of healing, or portaling, or simply making things float. He is weak.

Baron did something while he was sedated; took apart his plastron and looked around inside. Vermin thinks he was looking for what was so wrong with him, why everything the slider does ends up in failure. He now has a shiny new plate of metal on his chest and a paranoia of falling asleep.

He lost count the amount of times he was put to sleep, but every time he woke to something different, and injection of mutagen transforming his body while he was so out of it he couldn't even open his eyes. His toes and fingers become more flexible, grow sharp talons attributed to some sort of owl. His tongue becomes forked, able to scent things by merely breathing. His hearing and eyesight become sharper, a fox's DNA granting him night vision. He becomes stronger, faster, more agile, but it's never enough.

Vermin's starting to think that it never was going to be enough.

Vermin is awake when Baran Draxum puts in the ports, ignoring how painful it is and preferring to strap Vermin to a table while he digs into the slider's neck and arms, leaving six, shiny new devices embedded in his skin. The Baron has Vermin carry around a canister of green liquid on his back, a 'empyrean variant' he said, and with a click of a button, the canister sprouts tubes that dig into his ports, releasing the substance into his bloodstream. It hurts, floods his system with fire, but Vermin was used to pain. Now he just has a few more scars to show for it.

The substance grants him more power, more strength, more speed. His senses, already sharp, become that much more, overwhelming his sensory intake, but he learns how to fight past the side-effects. Missions outside of the lab become easier, training obstacles the Baron create become simple to dispatch, he always hurts but there is no other option.

It's always been the Baron and him, but maybe... maybe it doesn't have to be.

He's tired of hurting, tired to running himself to the ground, tired of covert missions that paint Baron Draxum as the ultimate threat when he's doing all the work, tired to sneaking around New York City in a futile attempt of gathering information that will likely never be useful. He tired of being compared to the experiments that didn't live through the first test, he tired of living up to a trio of dead beings that weren't even strong enough to compete with him. He tired to the punishments, of the bruises, of the empty room, of the nightmares, of the expectations.

He's just tired.

On the morning of his fourteenth year, Vermin comes to the conclusion that Baron Draxum isn't the be-all-end-all, that his ideals do not have to be his own. It fills him with a giddiness that leaves him trembling, his heart pounding.

In the middle of his fourteenth year, Vermin leaves.

Age 14:

The first person Vermin officially meets a human named April O'Neil.

Age 16:

...Vermin is starting to think his name was meant to be Leonardo all along.

#art #drawing #rottmnt #tmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt leo #sketch #update #rottmnt vermin au #finally some lore #this turned out a lot longer than i wanted and yet still feels like i didn't explain enough

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galesdevoteewife · 4 months

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i mean, maybe the mystra hate is disproportional, but from tav's pov, she did ask tav's wizard to kill himself? to take himself away from tav and remove any future they could possibly have together? to discard their connection? can one stay objective about the non-humanness of gods, when the gods are asking for your soul, your home, your love? gale, experienced with mystra as he is, maybe could, but a tav?

First, thanks for the ask!! How I love questions that let me dive into fantasy and imagine how things feel <3 I will answer in both my Tav's and player's POV. It’s going to be purely personal since every person/Tav has a different background and a huge variety of personalities.

Short answer: Mystra ASKED, but she didn’t TAKE. so my Tav was fine with her.

[Act3 spoiler and datamine ahead]

Still, I can certainly see how Mystra's martyrdom request could deeply hurt Gale. He was unsure if they might still be in a relationship, and ordering him to kill himself was definitely a shocking, heartbreaking, world-shaking breakup for him...Mystra was not only his lover, also his guidance: 'teacher and muse', the exact wording.

Astarion: So, do you have loves waiting for you once this is all over? Gale: You know what - that is not the easiest of questions for me to answer. In my opinion, Gale only really made moves in romance after he was certain that his relationship with Mystra was over, which happened after meeting Elminster.

| My Tav's POV A bit of background: My canon tav is a Lolth-sworn drow spider baby, named Zilvera. Where she comes from, humanoid sacrifice happens all the time and no good reason needed. I couldn't imagine she made too much fuss about Elminster saying some words. (even came with an orb stabilizing spell, that's nice) She would, however, be furious if Elminster was sent to snatch her wizard. 1) Zilvera had fallen for the wizard much earlier. She saw it as an opportunity: "They officially broke up, and he feels cold towards her now? Great, that’s my chance! I will treat you so much better, be with me instead!" 2) She didn't plan to let Mystra take the wizard from her, she wanted to find the wiggle room in Mystra’s words —"Use the bomb to destroy the heart of the Absolute." She wouldn't mind playing Mystra's riddle game, but she wanted to win. Overconfident and arrogant as it might seem, yet that's her.

"So, she didn't specifically ask for his life. Good." "Is it possible to trigger the orb another way?" "We need to find out what the heart of the Absolute is." "Would Raphael be able to do something about it?" "Can I resurrect him afterwards?"

3) She sees Mystra as 'useful.' My Tav is the worst cleric material. Deities are nothing but a source of power and favor to her. She was impressed by the stabilization spell, and she wondered what else Mystra's favor could provide for her purpose: the well-being of her wizard. As far as she's concerned, the orb needs to be cured; it’s making her crush unwell and sad. Later on in Act 3, she even grew to like Mystra because the goddess offered an actual cure. What's even better was that what Mystra wanted already aligned with her agenda: kill the Netherbrain. It's two birds with one stone. Mystra seems to be a high-ranked goddess who takes bargain and gives practical boons. Zilvera likes her for those. | My POV, as a player

I, who obviously lost my mind for the fictional wizard, wasn't annoyed much because Mystra wasn't being pressing. Meaning:

Mystra didn't send Elminster to kidnap/mind-control my wizard from camp and use him as if he was just a piece of tool. Elminster is very powerful and likely capable for such task.

There's no threat. She didn't sneak a hidden feature into her spell, and trigger the orb without Gale's consent when he was convinced to live in the colony. She didn't say anything implying that defying her orders would result in harsh punishment. Unless Gale is up for challenging her, that would be a different story.

There's no debuff, ability, or item lost when you defy her/simply being rude. Some conversation options were really rough! xD But she seems chill.

She didn't insult my wizard. In fact, she held him in high regard, trusted the future of magic/world in his hands and wisdom. Certainly much kinder than Gale's university assessment.

In my gameplay, the in-game actions Mystra has ever taken include (1) ghosting Gale for a year, (2) sending Elminster twice, (3) chatting, and (4) providing buffs if you burned the shadow weave in the cursed land. It's not even difficult to convince her at the shrine meeting. She was like, "You don't want to die, fine. But the Netherbrain and the crown must be removed. I will help you as long as those are taken care of." — and that was when the goddess wasn't exactly in a good mood.

"...the 'orb' sleeps is because I have allowed it to feed on the true Weave..." She is the weave, aka she is feeding the orb with HERSELF, and she didn't like that. It's the piece of information hinting she didn't just wave her hand and make all the problems go away — it cost her too.

Hope I am not missing anything. Please feel free to ask me anything if I do!

I tried to approach the subject with a more general term without sidetracking too much with my own Tav's setting, but I find that really hard since everyone reacts differently to things. I mean, I could totally see a Mystra cleric being shocked, or a warlock mocking how little differences there are between a god and a devil. All narrative is valid in my opinion. So here I am, indulging myself to unleash my overly invested Tav story xD Do keep in mind I am just chipping in my iteration though <3

#bg3 #gale x tav #gale romance #bg3 spoilers #gale of waterdeep #gale dekarios #bg3 mystra #bg3 datamine

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giveamadeuschohisownmovie · 8 months

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Just had a random thought. While thinking about the “Indiana Jones” original trilogy, I’ve developed a sort of newfound appreciation for the casting of Harrison Ford. My thoughts haven’t necessarily changed on this character, I still think Indy is fun but not that complex of a character, it’s just that now I imagine casting the character wasn’t the easiest thing in the world.

What Indy lacks in complexity, he makes up for sheer leading man charisma. This is a role where you absolutely need someone who can be able to act without saying anything. Because Indy has to be both:

1) convincing as an Everyman protagonist, in that he’s vulnerable and relatable enough that you can convince the audience that he’s not superhuman and is just a regular guy.

2) the coolest man who has ever lived. Someone who can walk into frame and exude “Yeah, I’m that guy” energy.

Harrison Ford really did have that level of charisma where he can be relatable and vulnerable enough to convince you he’s the underdog, but also make you think he’s the coolest person ever. I’ve tried imagining some other leading actors in the role and, honestly, it makes you realize that Indiana as a character needs more than just a handsome leading man.

Arnold Schwarzenegger wouldn’t have been able to convince you he’s an Everyman protagonist. Sylvester Stallone is better at playing more vulnerable, complicated characters like Rambo and Rocky. Michael Biehn is good at the underdog role, but not necessarily at being the cool guy. Keanu Reeves, while I love the guy to death, is too wooden to be the charming, cool guy (he’s better off at comedy and darker roles anyways). Kurt Russell and Clint Eastwood were close, but I think they’re better off at being action hero badasses. Bruce Willis, I think he’s similar to Keanu in that he’s better off at comedy and darker roles (even his most famous action movie role as John McClane just shows he excels in being comedic, not necessarily being the cool guy).

The actors who I felt could’ve done Indiana Jones justice, aside from Harrison Ford, were Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt, Denzel Washington, and Charlie Cox (Daredevil convinced me he could be the Everyman protagonist, She-Hulk convinced me he could pull off the cool guy role). And, if South Korea made the Indiana Jones movies, Won Bin came to mind.

EDIT: I just realized. Pedro Pascal! Just imagine a combination of Din Djarin, Joel Miller and Oberyn Martell.

I think “roguish charm” is what I’m getting at here. It’s actually quite hard to pull off the more I thought about it. For example, while I like David Harbour and his character of Jim Hopper, I don’t think Harbour can pull off roguish charm. I think that’s why Hopper came off so hostile and combative in Stranger Things season 3; Duffer Bros wrote him as Indiana Jones-like, but the end result was more off-putting than charming. As another bad example; Sean Penn in the movie “Shanghai Surprise”. That’s probably the worst example at an attempt at roguish charm.

Anyways, I’m curious. Which actor do you think could’ve pulled this role off convincingly?

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orange-dreamzer · 1 year

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this is a rather different information post, and does contain harsher content than others have. Be warned (aka, so far, mentions of rape and abuse and a small mention of alcohol)

•Køn•

-She‘s very very feminine, asexual and demiromantic-bi

-Her parents are Nightmare and Lust,

-Uncles are Dream, Ccino, Lust!Papyrus and Lust!Mettaton,

-Making her cousins Caramel and Latte

-She is 20 years old.

-She is 1.82cm

-Her bday is on 14th October

btw she‘s the girlboss of the relationship

Personality:

She looks introverted, grumpy and sarcastic, but she‘s really covering a lot of not-healed trauma.

-Her eyes, freckles and ecto glow :)

-She calls both her parents „father“, only occasionally does she refer to Lust as „papa“

-Køn has a type of „sexual“ aura which she learned to control. She can use this aura to manipulate others into doing what she wants, but she does have to be careful about it. It makes the person under its influence fall madly in love and/or obey without question.

-Køn can flirt well, even if unintentional, but this mostly happens only with her lovers.

-She prefers to be alone doing her thing a lot of the times.

-Nightmare was not a good father. Lust did his best to comfort Køn after every time he yelled or hit her, but it wasn‘t making anything better, with Lust also not being able to leave.

-Køn can be pessimistic at times. She prefers to be pessimistic so she doesn't have to be disappointed when things don't go well.

-She does enjoy it when Dream and Ccino are around, but she prefers to not be reminded.

-She‘s very nice to her friends and family. Mostly.

-Køn can be manipulative. She became like this at the age of 13, when she realized that her aura would allow her to do and have anything. She uses her aura to convince people to do what she wants and also to win things.

-Once, when she was about 15, she used her aura to manipulate someone into doing what she wants, because she needed some money and thought this was the easiest way. This didn‘t quite work out as planned, as she forgot to take off her aura from the person. As she tried to walk away, the person grabbed her by the shoulder and pulled her back….

-Køn is normally very serious, she is not one to participate in silly pranks. (Silkie immediately breaks up)

-She has two(2) tentacles she can form and control, but she doesn‘t use them often. They do seem to have a slight mind of their own sometimes.

-Køn plays the clarinet.

-Despite all dark aesthetics she likes herself some pastels in her room.. <3

-Køn is very attached to her father Lust and her uncles Papyrus and Mettaton.

-Køn and her father Lust‘s relationship is very good. He was always there for her after all.

-Køn has a very big hatred for her father Nightmare. He never took care of her, quite the contrary. He only saw her as a toy, and used her all her life. She made people feel attracted to her because of her aura, so she can give him a negative feeling to feed off of: obsession.

-Køn, one day, yelled at her father saying she didn't want to do that anymore. Nightmare looked at her and said that as much as he enjoyed using her, it was getting annoying that he had to see those people screaming for her and feeling kind of positive for this attraction of her aura.

It disgusted him.

So, Nightmare decided to go back to feeding himself off negativity in his own way. But before that, he told her that there was no point in trying anything to keep from forgetting about him, there was no point in her not wanting to see him, she would always be a part of him. His daughter. And she will always see him on her.

-For now she does not talk to him for obvious reasons.

-She likes rainy weather most

-Her favourite drink is wine and choco milk. Her favourite food are grapes.

-She started liking wine a lot at the age of 17. She had seen her father do it before already but she figured he might scold her. She tried and she just loved it.

-She reads lotsa books

-She does not want to be reminded or ever hear his name again. She believes people can change, but not him.

-She doesn‘t like apples, they remind her of him. Octopi are also a big no go for her

-She likes chameleons

-She also likes playing in snow and building snow ppl

-She secretly likes stickers but shh only Lust is supposed to know that

-She finds (adultery) interesting? it‘s mostly kinda gross to her but she‘d try it.

-She can be kinda tsundere at some moments

-She can teleport, which she doesn’t do however, mildly use telekinesis, bones and blasters, but she refrains. She‘s strong physically after all.

-She loves plushies sm but Silkie already has so many so she just stays in Silkie‘s room all day

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elderkale · 2 years

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do you have any headcanons for Ariadne of Inception? about their background, what their favorite type of architecture is, or anything general about their likes/dislikes?

ohohoho i sure do. long post time, buckle in.

(assuming this was prompted by my transmasc ariadne fic which is here if you're interested)

first off, i will say with my whole chest that ariadne is québecois. i know this in my soul and will not take criticism. no i will not elaborate.

moving onto architecture: i feel like, given that she lives in paris, it's been kind of assumed that they would lean towards more classical styles? HOWEVER, whenever we see her building on her own in dreams (bridges for cobb, city hotel and fort for the fischer job) they always seem to lean towards more modern styles (i.e. hard lines, steel concrete and glass).

so headcanon number 2 is that she prefers modern architecture styles (maybe bauhaus? at a stretch?) to classical one (which is also pretty fun thematically since cobb seems to be more fond of the latter). even when they're building from memory, the glass door is a pretty darn contemporary touch.

i also love that you can see the designs becoming more and more modern and unconventional as they go through the levels of the dream, like ariadne's being given more freedom to do what she really wants (city has some classical/fusion elements, more normal, while the snow fort's completely balls to the walls).

i mean look at that shit. that came out of their head. can you imagine the meeting they must have had where she tried to convince them this was necessary. i love her.

also i'd personally believe that she doesn't really jump back into dreamshare immediately post-inception. it's a fun thought but my hc is that she tries to go back to "normal" architecture for a bit and cracks slowly. tries to do some more legal jobs as a side thing because she can't dream on her own without a pasiv, but it still isn't enough, and eventually ends up having to flee paris because of Crime Stuff. could probably go an angsty route with this but i feel like they end up okay, as a very fanon eames-ish criminal who's doing just fine.

gender/sexuality-wise, i'm kinda drawing a blank? i mainly wrote daedalus as a thought experiment for myself, and i don't really have any set-in-stone hcs. i personally like to see them as bi though, and very loose about pronouns (i just think dreams are gender).

likes and dislikes: watches old sitcoms religiously. owns a box set of i dream of jeannie. probably recreated the full house house in a dream just to figure out what the other side of the living room looks like. the only thing holding her back from mentioning 3rd rock from the sun during the fischer job was professionalism and also arthur's gun. unironically likes the big bang theory.

one last thought: out of everyone we've seen in limbo (on a scale of saito: become old to mal: become dead, with cobb: become gaslighting manslaughterer and fischer: become tied up and confused somewhere in between), ariadne seems to be the one who had the easiest time getting in and out (as in literally the only one who remembered how). definitely hc them experimenting with more dream levels and bringing limbo closer to the surface once they're more experienced (don't have much experience myself but i'm guessing that shooting your boss's dead wife probably isn't the best memory to dream on). how successful they are depends on how angsty i want to make things. i don't think she'd ever get trapped permanently, but i do think she'd reach a point where she'd start losing time. not quite like the dreamers in yusuf's den, but close.

#sorry i don't know any proper terms i'm a film major not an architect #inception #mine #ask #ariadne #elliot page #everyone has their opinion mine just happens to be right 😌😌

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puniyo · 2 years

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On why Kinn is one of the most interesting characters in Kinnporsche (and also why he is not that inhuman machine that people take him for)…

*contains spoilers for episodes 1 to 5*

Because no matter how one reads Kinn, one is reading only one of the layers that we as viewers have managed to shred so far.

I’m in love with Kinn since his first appearance in the series, the long stride of his back view only, the confident posture and shooting to kill without blinking (don’t have me started on the threat about traitors in Italian). He seems to be this oppressive and exude this dominating aura whenever he passes by. And yes, the show seems to convince us that he is so, but also so much more. That is the layer that is easiest to be seen and also the easiest for viewers to somehow feel alienated. But this is also what makes it more meaningful when we start to understand why Kinn is playing this, dare I say, arrogant persona.

Humans are shaped by the environment around them. Our personality is not fixed. Alas, nothing is permanent in the human psyche. The “nature” in each one of us is just a set of genes that predetermines us to particular characteristics and traits. It is “nurture” though that elevates or muffles our biological inheritance.

Kinn is a product of the environment surrounding him. Kinn is the way he is because of the mafia background of his family. Do we really want a meek and all-understanding Kinn when we take into account all the things that have been told, and not exposed to the viewers? Let us count what we (don’t) know. And a disclaimer here that all these are based on what I have observed from the available episodes, together with my mom. Yes, you read it right, my 60+ mother is a lover of BL dramas and we have a blast every weekend watching them. So:

Kinn grew up and is also living in a mafia family. There are no roses and rainbows here. We are dealing with black market, shark loans, possibly drugs and illegal substances, gambling, and so forth. The purpose is not to make a social criticism. Art for art’s sake.

Korn has three children but he can only rely on Kinn to continue the family’s legacy. The expectations and pressure on Kinn’s shoulders are immensurable.

Tankhun suffers from social anxiety and most likely PTSD due to the times he was kidnapped and tortured in childhood. Kinn, being the middle child, most likely grew up seeing Tankhun crying at night alone, going hysterical over loud noises, breaking down and having meltdowns for no apparent reason in the middle of the day. Kinn witnessed all that and most likely came to two conclusions: he will protect Tankhun from further harm and he does not want to go through the same. Both conclusions lead to the same outcome: one must be strong, even if that means creating iron walls and wearing a steel armor around himself.

If Kinn doesn’t like to see Tankhun suffer, he must also be very protective of Kim. I think all three brothers are actually very protective of each other, just in their own respective ways.

The family compound is literally a factory to foster fighters and killing machines. Imagine a child being taught that in order to survive this grim world, he needs to be at the top of his physique, learn how to fire a gun, how to use different weapons.

Because of factor (5), maybe it’s not the Kinn never had any friends. Maybe it’s not that he doesn’t approach others. Maybe it’s the others who are afraid to approach him.

We have not heard anything about Kinn’s mother. He says he resembles his mother most, but that could have been just a taunting statement. Is she still alive? Has she been present in his life at all?

Kinn most likely had a lover in the past that betrayed him. I’m more inclined for this route than the lover dying or leaving him for safety reasons. Death and breaking up will lead to grief and sorrow, which can be overcome through time (I’m not saying that it is easy though). But betrayal leads to loss of trust and trust is one of the most fucking difficult things to ever recover. Once trust is lost, one is forced to grow up, to mature, and it scars people. Kinn is a scarred person without any doubts.

Based on point (9), it was really painful to see that Kinn has a gun with him when he goes to sleep. Even at his own place. Even with the bodyguards around, one might be a mole and harm him. Imagine what is like to be in a state of constant alertness because you never know if you will be able to open your eyes a next time when you close them. This incessant stress unbearably takes a toll on one’s sanity. Porsche was starting to show signs of being mentally fatigued after only one month of working for the Theerapanyakul, after killing (only) one person. Kinn still sane is a very good indication of how mentally strong he is.

So, without delving into more points, we can see that, although Kinn is gorgeously tall and with a body to die for (damn Mile, the man is perfection in person – both looks and also his personality – but I will leave the Mile rant for another day – he deserves it, his acting in the series has been phenomenal, natural, full of nuances – one can barely believe that this is the first time he is acting), it is still not enough, and perhaps never enough (cue to Loren Allred’s singing) to contain all these multitudes and be what some viewers want him to be: the perfect lover, the understanding boss, the generous mafia lord.

This is not possible. It would be very unrealistic of him to be all these. Because Kinn is flawed character and it is because of all these flaws that he is this enigma that you want to dig deeper to know more about. It is because of these experiences that you might never know what Kinn will do next or react next. Sometimes it feels like Kinn is learning how to be a “normal” human being. But seriously, what can we consider to be “normal”? Be the average student, the average worker, apologize when doing wrong and smile and thank you when doing good? Hasn’t keen done all that?

Kinn might not have wanted to pursue any studies related to his family business and yet he did. He did not have the luxury of Kim to pursue music and live relatively safe. His father wouldn’t have allowed so. Kinn himself tells Porsche that he had no choice but being thrusted into this world. Kinn is a good patron from that we get from the other characters. Pete says he is the most normal one. Big and Ken seem to love to work for him and always looking for an ounce of his affection. He goes to press conferences and seems to mingle well with people. He does not seem to use unnecessary violence. In the fight with Porsche on the boat, did he ask his bodyguards to hold Porsche so he could massacre him? No. Did he aim constantly at Porsche during the fight, or to vital places in the body? He seemed he was trying to restrain Porsche until Porsche started using dirty tactics. Was he really going to shoot Porsche in the boat? He could have done so, not to kill, but a shot on the leg would have immediately stopped Porsche from jumping. Would he ask Porsche to put the apple on his head if he knew he would miss the target? I do not think so. It felt more as a warning than him proving that he could shoot. Did Kinn slap Porsche besides that time to SAVE him from the second family, which inadvertently put him under the Kan and Vegas’ radar? No.

Kinn owes an apology to Porsche, that is for sure, for underestimating him as a bodyguard and also for not valuing him as a proper human being since the first episode. Also for the events in episode 4. But let’s also think. Kinn is not unaware of apologies. Kinn has the words “I’m sorry” in his mental lexicon. Kinn knows that what he does hurts Porsche. Kinn defended Porsche fiercely in front of his father until the passive aggressive warning/threat (and damn, Korn’s gaze on him was so sharp and truly scary). If Kinn shows preferential treatment to Porsche (and as Pete said, they are already the talk of the town), Porsche will suffer even more. The more Kinn protects Porsche, the more Porsche will be targeted both inside and outside of the compound. Why doesn’t Kinn then protect Porsche in the shadows? Because people live on what is explicit shown to them. People trust what they can see and discern with their own eyes. People do not believe in what they cannot see or hear. This is not faith, this is reality. Where is the credibility of a closed-door, unseen punishment? Wouldn’t people read between lines if Kinn was soft-spoken and all forgiving to mistakes Porsche has done (unfortunately not all on his own volition but still a mistake nonetheless)?

Pete tells Kinn that Porsche is actually a very sensitive person despite his outgoing and smiling persona. I think this is also true of Kinn. Although Kinn looks like an infallible tower from the outside, he is very sensitive, and as hurt as Porsche is. And because the two of them are so similar to each other, it is also more difficult for them to communicate properly. We always say that we get along better with people who are similar to us, true, I don’t doubt that. Porsche and Kinn fighting in synchrony and complementing each other is a sign of that. But if you think about, because you know what you don’t like and that you don’t like to have your flaws addressed (nothing personal, just that no likes to have their flaws rubbed on their noses), when two people who are very similar have to address personal problems, it becomes very difficult because you are seeing a mirror of yourself. As a mental defense mechanism, people try to avoid feeling vulnerable because of their own shortcomings. Being in denial is actually a very natural human reaction. And vulnerable is not a word that both Porsche and Kinn want to be associated with.

Let me stop here before I write an even longer essay. I wish I had all this muse power for my daily paperwork. But short story long, I cannot simply label Kinn as this or that. Labelling Kinn as a single-faceted character is basically destroying the essence of what he is. I’m really bad at metaphors and the only one that is popping in my head now is an onion. Kinn is an onion. He is all about layers. And I absolutely enjoy every single one that he is allowing me to peel (with or without tears).

#kinnporsche #kinnporshe the series #mile phakphum #kinn anakinn #kinn theerapanyakul #kinnporsche spoilers #this is one damn long essay #I love Kinn to death and feel free to fight me #please don't hurt me though #always open for discussion too #protect Kinn club here

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eggcats · 1 year

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one thing that gets me is that the more "high tech" ghost hunting equipment I see, the more "proof" I'm given, the more im positive it's almost entirely bullshit, I just become more of a shaniac the more "evidence" I see

which is an insane take from someone who's had legitimate experiences I can't explain (which isn't to say there ISN'T an explanation, but other than it being possible mental illness and occasional hallucinations, I don't know what it could be other than possibly paranormal)

I should be the easiest motherfucker to fool how did we even get to this point

And yet? Any time anyone tells ME anything I'm immediately like have you checked your carbon monoxide detector? Is the building structurally sound?, bc if it's not that also causes hallucinations. It's just a spec of dust or the house shifting or sleep paralysis or etc. I barely believe MY OWN experiences.

Ghosts aren't scary, y'know what is? Someone secretly living in your house. Any random who decides they wanna kill you. Living people. Ghosts are just invisible freeloaders who don't pay rent (assuming they even exist). They can't just stab me in the middle of the night like a human can.

(I've actually had some scary sleep paralysis experiences too but those I'm aware of what that is. Didn't make them any less scary tho.)

(long list of experiences after the readmore. I'm honestly making this post more so I can just talk about them tbh)

I've had:

moving shadows in my house

one was a full grown man shape, about 6+ feet tall running down the hallway that I could see from my bedroom. I just went "huh. Not my problem." And went back to listening to my radio

another was like, a huge tail-like shape just fucking swinging on the wall when I walked into the desk room at like 3am, and I even checked the light switch to make sure it wasn't causing a weird shadow, it wasn't, there wasn't anything that could have caused it (also the shadow was like, pitch black) so then I was like "huh. Not dealing with that" and turned out the light, turned around, walked down the hallway to my bedroom and climbed into my bed and went to sleep

saw literal floating orbs MORE THAN ONCE

one was on Halloween when my friends and I were hanging out at a graveyard (a moving floating orange one)

the other way me walking downstairs at night and hitting/walking into this huge bright blue blinding light that disappeared once I turned a real light on

had stuff constantly changing positions in my room

(that I explicitly asked my mom if she moved, the only person to enter my room other than me, and she was like "no? why would I do that?")

- one was a fucking nesting doll that KEPT TURNING AROUND TO FACE ME DESPITE ME FACING IT TO THE WALL WHENEVER I NOTICED IT MOVED...I kept it bc my aunt bought it for me from China so it was special even if it was possessed.

Sidenote: my brain HATES anything human-like with eyes, I will become CONVINCED it's following me I cannot handle the uncanny valley of it. That's only related bc that's the only reason I regularly turned it around, I didn't want it looking at me.

another memorable one was my huge cardboard dragon model that somehow got in my loft bed from my bookshelf, a feat it could absolutely not have gotten there without help

had some presence enter my college dorm room when I had a dorm to myself, and y'know how you can kind of feel when people walk behind you? I felt that as I was napping before class, and like I said, my roommate had moved out absolutely no one had keys to my room and it startled me enough it straight up woke me up. I think I had a few other experiences, but that was the most notable one

one time my cat woke me up bc he was chirping intently at the corner of a wall at like 2am. I looked. There was nothing there. So I sat down and looked at it and went "hey it's 2am can you stop bothering my cat so I can sleep?" and then suddenly my cat calmed down. So I went back to sleep.

more than once I'd turn off the kitchen light and I'd HEAR the light switch hit and it'd turn back on. likely faulty wiring but it was freaky to turn the lights off, sit down, and have them turn back on

I couldn't take a NAP on the beanbag chair under my bed without it feeling like something was grabbing me from my body

whenever I'd force myself back into myself (one time I straight up heard a voice go "you NEED to wake up" before I even could do so), and wake up FREAKED OUT, I'd be hit with this sense of "oh it was fine, you're So Tired go back to sleep" that just didn't feel natural, like it wasn't coming from me and was overpowering my actual reaction

Like, I'd suddenly feel exhausted (almost unnaturally so?) where if I didn't force myself to get up off the floor RIGHT THEN, I'd go right back to this half-asleep state and the feeling of being forced from by body would be much quicker this time

It felt like a kind of full-body tingle on the places I'd be yanked from by body, except it wasn't my arm going to sleep or anything bc it'd be on the side I Wasn't sleeping on, and would progressively get further down the more I was yanked

(if I was actually tired and fell legitimately asleep nothing happened, so I'd only sleep on the beanbag chair under my bed when I wanted to nap for a few hours, and not just doze)

Speaking of that spot - more than once I've heard a noise from there that I couldn't identify the cause of. It's possible I had some auditory hallucinations, but considering everything else it'd freak me out to hear a voice or a knock or something that like, was intentional and I couldn't identify what caused it.

I only had the "removed from my body" IN my bed once but it was way scarier

I was snoozing/relaxing during summer break late morning in bed, reading Shonen Jump, and got hit with such exhaustion that I suddenly couldn't stay awake - like, I Was fine a second ago, and now suddenly I'm almost passed out, can barely keep my eyes open

So I was like, okay I'll go back to sleep. And then???? I hear someone washing their hands in the bathroom down the hall??? And THEN I hear them walk down the hall towards my room, and the entire time I hear the approach I'm hit with an overwhelming sense of fear/dread - like I knew somehow it wasn't an intruder, but instead something paranormal? In a way I knew my only defense was to pretend I was still asleep

And suddenly I feel something grab me and lift me directly up into the air, and then forward, like incredibly fast?

(and listen, I was like an early teenager filled with indoctrination. I thought this was the second coming. I started praying, lmao. But! It seemed to have worked bc suddenly the thing dragging me moved SO MUCH MORE QUICKLY and I'm fucking DROPPED back into my body. Like, I legitimately think I moved when I re-entered it was so violent)

And I KNOW y'all are going to say I was asleep or something, but listen. I was absolutely awake. It was a CONSCIOUS EFFORT on my end to keep my eyes closed and PRETEND I was still asleep. I straight up waited a few minutes after I got back into my body before opening my eyes I was so freaked. I did NOT want to see whatever it was and I didn't want IT to know I was conscious.

I straight up agreed to go with my aunt and grandma to go swimming like they wanted me to. And I absolutely hated doing stuff like that. It just scared me so badly I didn't want to be home alone anymore.

and is, to THIS DAY, convinced my cat was possessed by something that I had to exorcise

listen. I know it sounds insane. Trust me. My cat's eyes were pitch black (not normal night cat eyes, like pure black), he glared at me in a "is THAT the best you can do" way when I flicked him on the nose for biting me, he bit me when I petted him (he does NOT bite unless you're handing him treats), and then when I "exorcised" it bc I was pissed it DARED to mess with my cat he was so exhausted he snuggled with me near my chest for about 10 minutes, and he HATES sleeping there (after he moved back to my feet where he normally sleeps)

If I had another explanation I'd give you one.

I should be susceptible to this shit, and yet you show me the ovilus and I'm like cool that's a scam

#in rambling but still #HOW DO I BARELY BELIEVE IN GHOSTS IM PRIME BELIEVER TERRITORY #long post #i feel like that comic relief character that's being haunted and there's so much evidence and they refuse to believe in ghosts #how did i see moving shadows and exorcised my cat and am still like yeah it's all bullshit #like ill agree that there's stuff i don't know #but at least 99% of evidence or experiences are bs #ill accept that 1% but honestly rather than ghosts its probably just science we dont understand yet #like all of human history

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besidesitstoowarm · 1 year

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y'know i talked about it in my "christmas invasion" post but it's almost 2am and i have work in 5ish hours so it's actually a great time to ramble about nothing,

i'm really interested in the way destiny or... inevitability maybe? plays into the doctor's personal history. this is new who exclusive, classic who writers didn't give a fuck btw. like i talked about how i think rose's influence 100% shaped and created the tenth doctor, and i think it plays out the same way when eleven regenerates into twelve; he essentially dies of old age, convinced he's out of regenerations, out of lives, but he gets a... second wind, i guess, or twelfth, or whatever. he gets the chance he didn't expect he'd ever had, thanks to clara, and it enmeshes them. clara and twelve have the same dangerous codependence that ten and rose have, and it gets clara killed just as much as it gets rose stranded. their own actions and choices, yes, but bc the person who should know better (who should have their safety at the front of their mind) is distracted and slips out of affection

the show plays a lot into the way the doctor's ability would appeal to his companions and their relationship to their own lives (either dissatisfaction with their current lives or damage in their past) with "father's day" being probably the easiest most obvious example, and there are a ton of episodes about fixed points and whatever langolier shit killed rose's dad and how you can't change the past (but sometimes you can, don't worry about it). the doctor wants to think he's above it all, he lives on the world and not in it, he's the runner, he shows up for a laff and then dips when it gets hard. but [garfield voice] you are not immune to timey wimey. the companions affect him in that he loves them and they change the way he sees things and, well, when you're eleven you're also ten and nine and eight and seven etc. they're all a part of him the way his past selves are, but sometimes they are also A PART OF HIM. they bake themselves into his very BEING

i think it says very interesting things about his relationship to river, mostly. he first meets her when she dies, and she is clearly deeply, unbelievably in love with him. she knows him better than anyone, scarily well, she trusts him, she knows his different iterations, and she's genuinely distraught that he doesn't know her! ten knows that whoever this is, someday he is going to love her so much that it kills her. "not one line" like it's almost inevitable, right? whenever he meets her again in the future, how could that memory NOT stick with him? how could he forget what she did for him, even when he meets her younger versions, even when she fucks around with him? ten dies a martyr after ruining the lives of everyone around him, but his radiation-poisoned goodbye tour reminds him that he is loved. he regenerates knowing that rose loved him, but she is in his rearview now. the future is new and bright and is full of people he doesn't know but who love him deeply and truly

idk i am just so fascinated by the idea that rose's humanity is so strong that it WARPS and INFECTS the doctor's entire life, his ship, his very dna. she makes a dalek commit suicide bc it couldn't handle the pain of true human emotion. the tardis is sentient, we learn later on that the tardis knows and loves the doctor; there's no way rose just absorbed all that power without giving anything of herself up in the process. in "day of the doctor" when the various doctors are coming to grips with how they have to live with themselves post-time war, the moment takes the form of what? rose-as-bad-wolf. rose tyler's face and voice, his first post-war companion, the one he loved, but also the relationship she had with the tardis, with the doctor. the bad wolf persona is the embodiment of that unique hybrid between human and machine, kind of her version of the doctor-donna

idk what it all means or even what i mean by picking at it. we are our relationships with other people. we are influenced by the people around us, especially those we love and bond with, and doctor who explores that in an extremely literal way

#Doctor Who

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mrpenguinpants · 3 years

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Genshin: Roommate HCs [V1]

To be honest, I just wanted to ramble some more and let my brainworms take over. This is sorta late but Happy Valentine’s everyone! I was gonna post this earlier but this honestly took me a long time to write so I moved it to today.

Once again, this is 90% crack 10% content. Seriously, as much as I love writing this non-serious fics. Why do you people like this?

—

Based off my ramblings with Keqing anon: Link

Genshin: Holding Hands [V1]

Genshin: When you’re cold [V1]

Genshin: University AU [V1]

Genshin: Royalty AU [V1]

[Masterlist]

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[taglist] <- if you want to be added, please read this first.

@youaskedfurret @diaxfeliz @wintergreen-aix @kaechu @thegayrubberducky @lovelykittycatmeow @yuunoagivesmelife @dokidokisama @rokipersonal@minakohasmanyhusbandos @strwbrry-lia @tigerpriestess @yuu-yuukurotsuki @hanniejji @mikeysbike @unionwitch @musekala @sunnshiii @stanzastic @akaasea @xoneaboveallx @adoring-ghost @asheseiler @childelover @dilucsz @dai-tsukki-desu @thicmitten @nonniechan @htnicayh @genshins1mpact

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Diluc

What? Diluc has a roommate? Did you blackmail him in living with you? Is that even possible? Did you throw yourself in front of his car because you needed someone to pay for your student loans and the easiest way was to file a lawsuit? In this economy no one would blame you. Diluc seems like such the self-isolated character that would murder his roommate in cold blood but in reality, he act’s detached from the world because he forgot how to socialize and he’s desperately trying to cover it up without choking. That or he’s trying to learn how to astral project. If he could drink away the pain he would but instead he buys 20 packs of grape Kool-Aid and injects it into his veins.

Does not and will not ever have a normal sleeping schedule. You’ll wake up to him working, come back home to him working, and will sleep to him still working. His daily dose of Vitamin D is from the brightness of his screen rather than the sun and he’s filter feeding at this point. It’s concerning. He’s going to crumble and he’s bringing the world down with him. Through the power of tax evasion. But as soon as he needs to walk out into society, he pulls movie magic and looks like perfection. It’s both physically and mentally disgusting.

He’s actually is a really nice roommate to have just so long as you give him space. Great cook and knows to clean up after himself. Though he does have crash and burn days where’s he’s completely out of commission. You could set the entire apartment on fire and he would sleep through it. The entire two weeks are dedicated to zombie eye marathons and then he’ll suddenly collapse and sleep for 46 hours straight. When he wakes up from his hibernation he’s the most groggy and nonsensical person. His life blood is coffee because you keep hiding the 5 hour energy away from him because, you know, life is enjoyable and those cancer bottles will actually kill him.

“University sucks our money out of our bodies faster than our will to live.”

Beidou [Happy Birthday Queen 💕]

Despite her appearance, she’s actually really strong and it scares the piss out of you when you’re doing something or scrolling through your phone mindlessly and you suddenly get your spine re-arranged when she slaps you on the back to ask what you’re doing. Likewise, when she hoists you up and throws you over her shoulder so you come with her on her 3am convivence store raids for alcohol. It’s either you change now or else we’re walking out of the apartment in your t-shirt and no pants self. She can and will carry you under her arm that way. It’s both incredibly attractive and horrifying at the same time.

She’s really friendly and a great talker if you’re alright with her “I must hold you in my arms, fresh prince of bel air style”. It doesn’t matter if you’re taller than her, she’s doing it. She does however, get in a bit of trouble from her rowdiness and you often get noise complaints but Beidou just passes them off to Ningguang and everything is fixed. She has ovaries of steel when neighbors rather confront her personally and she’s ready to 1v1 in the parking lot. You’re trying to desperately hold onto her shirt to stop her from pile driving your neighbors for the third time this week but she’s too strong.

She’s constant party until we die attitude and suffers the hangover in the morning. It’s actually really funny to catch her in her hangover moods because whatever filter Beidou had, which is none, is gone. She really takes “cursing like a sailor” or the next level and the amount of creativity she comes up with is actually impressive. She can be a bit messy but she’s really likeable and always down to go anywhere with you as long as you’ll do the same. It’s a very ride together, we die together situation. You’re my best friend, you’re dying with me. I’ll see you in hell.

“Imma T pose over my dad and then crash the car into the parking garage.”

Kaeya

Kaeya on the surface seems like such a chill roommate. And he is for the most part. But he’s such an ass. Your things are his things, no questions asked. If you just bought a really nice sweater or you had leftover food, that’s his now. He’s innocent until proven guilty even if he’s literally holding your lunch. The pure amount of bullshit he can spit out to convince you that no, he did not pull the fire alarm because he wanted an excuse for not going to work, puts him on Shakespeare level. He’s also very pretty, way too pretty, sir can you share some of your genes?

But aside from that, he’s actually super dependable. You forgot something at home? Sure, he has nothing better to do so he can bring them for you. We’re missing eggs? No problem, he’s just by the store. You’re 95% sure that he just wants to be cheeky and make you thank him for 20 minutes before he actually hands you what you asked for. It’s better for you if you never tell him anything you’re afraid of because Kaeya has no social cues, or more like he throws them out the window, and he’s probably a psychopath.

He’s incredibly private of his room and things despite his attitude towards yours. You’re convinced he either has a secret lab or that’s where he’s storing the bodies. I was the good guy but due to unfortunate circumstances, I need to stab a bitch. But he’s a really good serious talker for those 3am, because everything happens at 3am, talks about life and the meaning of the universe. It absolutely wrecks your sleep schedule but some of the things you talk about are the most crackhead things like what’s the lowest amount of money someone would have to pay you to walk outside without clothes? It’s a legitimate question.

“Never before have I been so offended with something I 100% agree with.”

Jean

Okay, what world did you save in a past life to live with his absolutely wonderful woman? Mother Teresa take a load off, take a seat. You have nothing to worry about. She’ll bring home little treats back home and it’s the most wholesome thing ever?? Is this what love and affection feels like? We’ve been starved for so long. She says it’s not a big deal and anyone would do it BUT THE MOMENT SOMEONE BUYS FOOD FOR YOU. IT’S A MAGICAL MOMENT. They are forever stuck in your will until proven otherwise. An absolute ray of sunshine that must be protected.

She does get super busy so you don’t often see each other or get to hang out as much. She’s a bit of a workaholic but a lot more easier to talk her into taking a break. She’s also a pretty decent cook but she prefers baking and jesus christ, girl can you calm down? Be still my beating heart, I’ve been smitten. Has mother hen vibes that you’re not sure if she’s your roommate or if she adopted you into her family. It’s time to start a petition for the Jean protection squad. Given the opportunity, I would aggressively hold your hand.

She’s always open to whatever you want to do. Any recommendations or things that you like she will try out at least once despite her busy schedule. She’s lowkey lonely because work consumes her so any time you want to hang out or do something together, she jumps on it like she’s feral. She get’s a bit shy to ask if she can join in on your plans because she doesn’t want to bother you or intrude no matter how many times you tell her that’s okay, she still get’s a bit iffy about it. Please save this girl before she trips. In your arms. Platonically. Just kidding haha. Unless?

“I can’t wait to see you happy and not hating everyone again haha.”

Childe

First impressions of Childe were great, until he opened his mouth and you realized how much of a two brain cell child(e) he was. He has two braincells because they constantly have to 1v1 in his brain. He’s lived with a lot of siblings so he has no social awareness or concept of privacy that you’re lucky if you come home and he’s half-dressed. It doesn’t matter if you’re 2 weeks older than him, he’s going to call you 82 years old and why your bones aren’t being fossilized at this point. He’s such a little shit, this fucker licks the yogurt lid peel.

He get’s really restless when he’s stuck under house arrest, because apparently 1v1ing in the parking lot of a Wendy’s is illegal for some reason, so he makes dying whale noises until he get’s to go outside again. But he’s actually a really wholesome guy, probably because of his younger siblings, that he’ll sometimes get you something because you seemed down and it’s such whiplash? Who is this man and where did he come from? You’re starting to have a change of heart before he tells you that he got banned from the library for accidently punching the school’s computer. How you “accidently” punch something you have no idea but Childe always comes home with some sort of injury. Maybe he’s just incredibly clumsy. For your sanity, you’re going to go with that.

He’s actually so uncultured that it’s crippling. You can’t blame him too much considering his upbringing and it’s great that he’s so interested in learning new things but...child no...It makes you want to take your spine out of your ass and rip it like a Beyblade. Watching him take chopsticks and stab his food like it’s marshmallows makes you want to fall into a blackhole and let the chair consume you.

“I, too, fantasize about beating the living shit out of people.”

---

Is this another tag yourself game cause I resonate with Diluc. I’m crying in insomnia. As much as I enjoy writing these fics I absolutely hate tagging them. I remember I used to have a tag anon but that was back when I wrote for bnha.

Valentine’s Day was fun tho. I had a drinking game with friends as we played league then ended it off with a movie night.

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professorspork · 3 years

Note

superhell fic prompt: JAUNE RUNS INTO PYRRHA

[part 1] [part 2] [part 3] [part 4] [part 5]

It doesn’t occur to that she’s allowed to talk to them until Torchwick reveals himself to Neo. And even then, well-- Roman Torchwick isn’t exactly a shining paragon when it comes to setting a good example of what’s allowed.

But the idea refuses to stop hounding her footsteps, once it’s come. Once she’s seen it’s possible, without consequences. Still, she waits, and keeps her distance. There’s no sunset, here on the island, no night, but there are shady places beneath the towering roots of the Tree; eventually, they all bed down, and Jaune-- as she’d known he would-- volunteers to take first watch. It’s a heartening display: Yang and Blake twined together like ivy on a wrought iron gate, but each clinging to the hands of their teammates, chained together by grasping fingers. Otters in a stream, unwilling to be separated.

She doesn’t know why she’s surprised to hear her own voice when she approaches.

...I know this can be frustrating, and it can feel like so much effort to progress such a small amount, but I want you to know that I'm proud of you. I've never met someone so determined to better themselves...

“You’ll drain your battery,” she cautions, reaching out with her mind to press the off button on his scroll. His head whips up, expression aghast, and she smiles at him softly. “I’d have thought you’d have it memorized by now anyhow; you haven’t seemed to need it in some time.”

She expects disbelief, perhaps, or shock. Joy would have been nice, but she’d have understood anger. So she’s surprised and---bizarrely proud, actually-- when instead his eyes narrow in suspicion and the first thing he says is, “Your Semblance works.”

“Well, yes.”

“Why does your Semblance work?”

“Because I’m where I’m supposed to be. A soul knows when it’s in the right place. Or the wrong one, as the case may be.”

“Or I’m dreaming.”

“Or you’re dreaming,” she agrees, keeping her voice mild, but feeling it like a punch to the stomach when his shoulders relax at the idea. Does he... not want her here? Goodness, but she’s out of practice. She’d forgotten it was like this; how talking to him had been both the easiest and the hardest thing in the world. “Would you-- prefer that? If I weren’t really here?”

“The real Pyrrha would know better than to ask me that.”

Despite herself, she laughs. “Oh, I wish that were true. I asked myself that every day. Every class, every glance, every study session on the roof. I’m afraid I was never as confident as I should have been.” It’s an embarrassing admission, but an effective one; the walled-up caution behind his eyes dissipates... only for tears to well up in its stead.

“Are you-- can I touch you?”

“I hope so.” (She’d left Torchwick and Neo behind before they’d gotten that far, for obvious reasons.)

“I--” He scrambles to his feet and crosses the distance between them, enveloping her in a crushing hug. It doesn’t feel like she remembers, but then, that’s no surprise-- he’s taller than he used to be, and her body isn’t exactly a body, per se. She’s grateful, even so. Happy just to have the chance to hold him up. She keeps quiet at first, letting him get it all out as he sobs incoherent apologies into her shoulder--

(IloveyouImissyouIloveyouImissyouI’msorryI’msorryI’msorry)

--and contents herself with playing with the short hair at the nape of his neck. Eventually, he calms.

“I like the haircut,” she says, when he pulls away. “It’s handsome. You look so grown up.”

“You look so young,” he croaks in response, and-- she supposes she must, to his eyes. It’s strange to think that she’s the same age as Ruby now; that they’ve kept going on without her, and they’ll continue to do so, once she’s led them out. “Are you--? Have you--?” He wipes at his eyes, laughing at himself a little. “I don’t know what to say. I don’t know where to start. I just-- I can't believe you're here with me.”

“I'm always with you,” she assures him, unable to suppress the urge to thumb away a tear he’s missed. She keeps her hand there, at his cheek, as she she speaks: “Even when you can’t sense me, I... oh, Jaune. I’m so proud of you. You’ve come so far.”

He sighs and steps out of the circle of her arms, hanging his head to stare at Crocea Mors where it rests in its sheath. You’d never know it to be broken, just by looking. The scabbard hides the damage-- giving him the appearance of being armed and ready though all he carries is a shattered hilt. “Yeah, maybe. I-- I thought I had, but...” He swallows, face filled with shame.

She starts to reach for him again, unwilling to waste even a moment of their time not touching him, but forces herself to relax and drop her hands to her sides. It has to be his choice, doesn’t it? “Tell me. You can tell me anything; you know that.”

His voice falters terribly when he finally speaks:

“I mean, I feel like you already know. For the longest time, I wanted to be this... I dunno. This warrior, or whatever. And it never fit, no matter what I did, or how hard I worked, and I just-- I resented it so much. Being...” He shakes his head. “I just felt useless. But when I unlocked my Semblance, I had to let that go. And it was hard at first, it took time, but for a second there it finally started to feel like... like I knew my place. Where I belonged; what everyone needed from me. I was good at it. But then Penny needed--” He chokes on a sob, and has to stop and take several deep breaths before he can continue. “Nothing’s changed. I’m still useless. The idiot stuck on the wrong side of the glass, out of his league and forced to watch because someone else has to be the Maiden now and there’s nothing he can do about it. Only this time it’s worse, because this time I actually-- I--”

Unable to hold herself back anymore, she reaches for his hands; he squeezes her fingers tight, like a lifeline. “I understand,” she soothes, voice heavy like a vow. “Did you think I wouldn’t? I don’t think I have to remind you that I’m the only other person who knows what that feels like. To have been the one who killed her.”

He lets out an awful, cynical noise; a parody of a laugh. “Depends on who you ask,” he says in explanation, looking askance towards Ruby. Pyrrha sadly follows his gaze. Ruby’s shifted in her sleep, curled under her cape to be as small as possible with her head nestled in the crooks of Yang’s bent knees. Her arms are wrapped around Yang’s shins in a death grip, as though she fears her sister might fly away at any moment. Pyrrha’s heart aches for her; for the responsibility she carries. Weight Pyrrha could have helped shoulder... if only she’d been a little faster, a little more clever.

She shakes off the feeling; now’s not the time for regret. “But things have changed,” she says, bringing Jaune’s hands up to her mouth and kissing the knuckles. It will be a long time, she knows, before he believes there isn’t blood on them; maybe this small act can help. And if it doesn’t... she has other options. Maybe even a little levity, for once. “You’re not useless. You’re amazing. You’re a licensed Huntsman now; you’re accomplishing things you’d only dreamed of. All the mothers of Mantle adore you. You even got to go on a date with Weiss!”

He boggles at her, wrenching his hands away. “What?! That wasn’t a date, we were just hanging out with Oscar, we--” His jaw falls open, suddenly, and his eyes narrow once more. “Wait a minute. Are you teasing me?”

She grins, sheepish and caught. “I figured it was now or never to give it a go; I didn’t want to waste my last chance to try it. Nora always said it would be good for me.”

“To make fun of me?” he squawks, indignant.

She laughs. “To remind myself it’s okay to be a novice sometimes; that there are things I won’t instantly be good at.” She bites her lip, unable to stop her grin. “...And also to make fun of you, yes.”

He surges forward, then-- wrapping a hand around the back of her neck and pulling her closer, pressing a fierce, grateful kiss to her forehead. Then he does it again; then once more, at the bridge of her nose. And then a final time, against her lips. Quick; intense. Filled with meaning.

She’s got not breath in her, and still she’s breathless.

“I miss you so much,” he says, squeezing his eyes shut and resting his forehead against hers. His fingers thread themselves into the hair at the back of her skull, tangled into the base of her ponytail. “So much. I think about you all the time. Every day. Wondering how different things would be, if only...”

“I know,” she says, because she does. There’s more that she should say, probably-- that it’s good that he’s started to move on; that none of them can hold onto her forever. But she can’t quite bring herself to voice the words.

“It’s not fair,” he mutters, then sighs at the sound of it. “I mean, none of it is fair, but-- I feel like a jerk, I guess. That I’m the one who gets to see you, of all of us.”

“You’ll tell them I love them, won’t you? Ren and Nora. They...” They’re doing things she never did, is the thing. Maturing in ways she’ll never have the chance to. Learning that responsibility doesn’t mean putting it all on your own shoulders; that love doesn’t mean giving all of yourself away. It’s overwhelming, how proud she is of them for that. “They were on the right path, in Atlas. Don’t let them convince themselves otherwise.”

He nods, the movement of it levering her own head in shared agreement. “Anything else? Anyone else you’d like me to...?”

So many; too many. But one rises above the rest. “Tell my mother to stop leaving flowers,” she murmurs, wishing she had more to offer than that. “Tell her they belong in the garden; that I like to watch them grow. That’s-- the way it should be.”

“Okay,” he says, and relief rushes through her. “Okay. I will.”

Slowly, they both become aware once more of the gaggle of Huntresses sleeping just a few yards off. Pyrrha could leave dozens of messages with Jaune, if she wanted, but the people she most needs to speak to are right here, within arm’s reach. They need her guidance; it’s selfish not to provide it. She’s taken so long already. And yet...

Jaune beats her to voicing the thought: “I know we should probably wake them, but-- can it be just the two of us, for just a little longer? Please?”

She smiles, and brings a hand up to caress his cheek. “I thought you’d never ask.”

#Anonymous #arkos #jaune arc #pyrrha nikos #rwby #fic what i wrote

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behindyourbarrette · 3 years

Text

temporarily, indefinitely, forever/chapter two

Penelope Garcia is a great many things, including a wonderful friend, but she’s a terrible matchmaker. After one too many ill-fated blind dates, the Reader and Spencer Reid find a solution in each other. Their arrangement is temporary...right?

pairing: bi!spencer reid x bi!reader (mentioned briefly, it’s a self insert so think what u want)

category: fluff, fake dating trope, slow burn, requited unrequited love

a/n: hiii welcome to the next installment of TIF! hope you enjoy, and if you do—REBLOG it is the easiest way to show me and other people that you liked it, and help the rest of tumblr like it too! i’d also like to extend a massive thank you to my amazing beta reader @candlesandsoftrain who helped me with this chapter!

previous chapter

series masterlist

----

Spencer Reid is kind of the perfect fake boyfriend.

You notice slowly, over the course of the first weeks. There’s no real catalyst to this realization, no other shoe left to drop. It just hits you.

“I got you coffee.”

You turn your head, setting your purse down on your chair. He’s taken to scaring the life out of you by lurking in your office, arriving at work early. You’ve grown to expect him, too tall for the armchair in the corner, always one step ahead of you.

“You didn’t have to.” You say, but you reach for the warm cup anyways. He knows your order without asking, and you consider this while he watches you take a sip. His cheeks warm, and he hides behind his book, lingering a little too long until you’re interrupted. You don’t discuss the fact that you leave the window shades open, fractions of you both visible from outside, pieces of your smiles shining through the cracks. The shades are open, but he stays even when they aren’t.

You check your phone, the morning after O’Keefe’s. It’s nearly noon, the slight chill in the air giving way to a balmy warmth. You aren’t surprised to find that your work group chat has blown up slightly. You wince as you picture next month’s phone bill.

Penelope writes first, unsurprisingly. ‘I’m thinking a spring wedding?’ Emily and JJ are next. ‘Too soon, Pen. You guys are cute, though.’ ‘So happy for you two!! We’ve been waiting for this to happen forever!! Much love <3’

You make your way to the kitchen, phone cool in the palm of your hand as you fix yourself breakfast. The conversation is ongoing, the buzz of a new message near constant. You look back every few minutes, trying to absorb the barrage of questions and praise.

Derek is an amusing texter, always brief but rarely boring. His take is short, but you get the message. ‘Leave the lovebirds alone.’

Your first order of business—if you can even call it that—comes in a brief form, a term and an agreement. The first day you see him at the office, you find a new sense of charm in the way he’s perched at his desk. You can’t bring yourself to talk to him normally until you get it out of the way, all in one breath and spoken quietly.

“Just until January.”

He looks back at you, a little delayed. It takes him a moment to place what you’ve said, until you watch him register it. He shakes his head, and even you can read between the lines to decipher his meaning.

“Of course.”

“And…you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. If I ask. Just tell me.” You add, pursing your lips together. You half-regret the way you teased him, under the wash of low light in O’Keefe’s. It occurs to you later that Spencer is a private person, and you’re asking a lot of him. He shakes his head, shrugging his shoulders.

“Of course.” He repeats. It sounds like he’s convincing himself more than he’s convincing you.

This exchange is quickly forgotten, though, in a wash of other meetings and technical dates. He calls you after a case, and in your fragile knowledge of him you half expect him to arrive with a binder full of evidence, anniversaries and dates and the entire timeline of your supposed affair, in print. You bear a pen, ready to sign the truth away at the dotted line.

He doesn’t. He arrives with a loaf of bread and a book.

“Your birthday’s in March, right?” You nod, reaching into the sink so the butter knife doesn’t make a sound as it clatters down. He is trying to be conversational, here, pretending not to know the exact day. You wish he wouldn’t. He plays his cards close to his chest with you. He seems a little far away, but he nods as if filing this information away.

“October 28th, for you.” You offer, as if this piece of knowledge will compensate for everything he doesn’t tell you. He smiles a little, pleased, and you have to turn away before he catches sight of the flush of your cheeks. Instead of preparing for this, you ask. He answers. You don’t plan out every minute detail. Nobody really asks. Where you thought people would require detail, proof, they seem satisfied just by looking at the two of you. It is a mystery, what they see.

Despite this, you can tell the team is unsure how to approach the two of you. Maybe it’s Spencer—he’s known them for longer, and you have no idea if kissing his coworker is a normal occurrence for him, but you can’t put your finger on it. They tiptoe around you, congratulatory in the absence of their romantic intervention. This is exactly what you want. You only run into a singular hiccup, in the form of David Rossi.

“You and Reid, huh?”

You have never enjoyed small talk in the break room, but somehow it’s even more suffocating here. You’re not entirely sure of how Rossi even found out—though, upon reflection, he strikes you as a gossip—but you have to force a sip of coffee down to answer quickly.

“Yeah.” You are not trying, but your eyes find the back of his head, in the distance. Dave seems skeptical, looking between you and Spencer as he stirs his coffee. After the silence stretches into something uncomfortable, he shrugs.

“He’s a good kid.” This is new—the way you open your mouth, ready to defend the fact that Spencer is a grown ass man, and Rossi isn’t entitled to treat him otherwise. You close your mouth before you burn a bridge, something acrid settling in your throat. He seems to take your slight intensity as a good omen, though, and walks off with a smirk. You retreat into Penelope’s office, craving something easier than the reality that you’d fight for Spencer in secret, when you’ve only agreed to that in public.

Penelope is perfectly satisfied with the outcome of her matchmaking, even if it wasn’t created in her own image. Inside her sanctuary, amid the buzz and beep of her monitors, she hands you a celebratory lollipop, bright pink to match her glasses. You fall quiet, spinning in your office chair in a way you’ve picked up from someone you know. It feels like there is something left unsaid, until Penelope speaks.

“You could have told me you were seeing him,” She says quietly, devoid of the vibrancy you know and love from her. Your heart breaks a little. In the construction of your white lie, you’ve betrayed her. You exhale slowly, and it requires all of your self control not to completely give yourself away.

“I know. We wanted to wait. I’m sorry.” You say, and reach across her keyboard to give her hand a squeeze. We. There’s a we now, something to belong to. You are not used to this.

You wanted to wait. This is one of many half-truths, created and told over and over. The backbone of the greater lie. Nobody ever really sees the foundation of a house; it’s just there. It’s deceptively easy to defend it.

In September, Hotch calls you into his office. You’re positive that you've violated a fraternization rule, that you’ve ruined your whole life and career and probably Spencer’s too, until you find yourself in his office. He’s smiling. This sight is so rare that you feel your shoulders relax from your ears, and let your guard down.

“How would you feel about working in the field?”

You are not a profiler. This is by design; while the best people you know are profilers, you’re better suited to press conferences and survivor support. It’s entirely different, though, to have your boots on the ground. It feels a little more real, somehow. You stalled this step, this advancement of your career, for fear of losing yourself in the job. On the other side of a landline, you’re protected. It is entirely more rewarding, though, to see who you are helping. To watch the weight lift from their shoulders. The badge on your lapel carries a little more weight when you’re far from home. You adjust slowly, the cases blurring into weeks and days spent overtired and overworked. You spend a lot of time wandering hotel hallways, unable to sleep and waiting for the vending machine to cough up something sweet. You aren't there when the people you work to stop are arrested. When the tension is high, when the team’s work hinges on a single word or phrase. You report the joy, the end. With a smile on your face, you announce the Bureau’s successes, stage lights white-hot on your skin.

The jet is your least favorite part.

You try not to tell anyone this. Somehow, you think that if you bring up your minor claustrophobia, you’ll never live it down. Typically, you manage your fear of turbulence by focusing on the dozens of case files you’re expected to sift through. The drone of the engines and cool blue lighting falls into the background, and you can forget you’re in the air.

It’s cold in the atmosphere. The team is exhausted, each slumped over in their seats and sleeping softly. You try not to look at your watch and feel the rush of fear at the realization that your flight is far from over.

Spencer’s awake, though. You are shoulder to shoulder, on the longer couch. It is endlessly convenient, this companionship. Wherever you go, there is someone to take with. He’s reading Northanger Abbey, and you watch him stifle his laughter every few pages.

The jet lilts to the side, and you can’t suppress your sharp intake of breath. Spencer looks up from his book, watching you try to regulate your breathing. The turbulence is mild, a few bumps and drops every minute, but it scares you to no end.

“I hate flying.”

You mutter, as if he doesn’t know. He nods, and you watch him physically stop himself from telling you a statistic about plane crashes. Instead, he smiles ruefully, and reaches for your hand.

“I’m afraid of the dark.” He admits, and suddenly you’ve exchanged something. A give and take. You know him better than before. Sometimes, when he isn’t there, you wonder if you would know this Spencer if you hadn’t been who you were at the bar. If he was really there to begin with. Either way, you savor this. Knowing him. You close your eyes, leaning your head back. Spencer traces circles over the space between your thumb and index finger, an absent-minded soothe, and you fall into a dreamless sleep.

Sometimes, his inquiries are less heartfelt. At times it feels like he is trying to read you like a book. To memorize each word and learn it by heart.

“How many relationships have you been in?” He asks, watching a kid skateboard past. He lives near a park, which you find ridiculously endearing. The smell of fresh wood chips is heavy in the air, nostalgic and sad all at once. You turn your head, your cheeks burning.

“I just wanted to know! The average American woman your age has been in five.” He says, as if being accused of something, a little rushed. You laugh, shrugging your shoulders.

“Three.” His eyes widen, and he nods. “My high school boyfriend, a girl in college, and a guy in between.”

“You were cool in high school.” He says, a little wistful. You laugh, at his earnestness and at the untruth of it. A duck waddles past and he watches it go, the grass green and damp beneath your feet.

“I was not! I was on the debate team, and I cut my hair in my bathroom sink before school pictures.” You say, and this coaxes a laugh out of him. An elderly couple walking past smiles at you warmly, the woman clinging to her partner with mittened hands, and this makes your chest hurt. How lovely, to hold onto someone. “I was cool in college, though.”

“How about you?” You ask, when the silence has become a little more than you bargained for. You are simply looking at each other. You’ve done this countless times—his features are familiar to you, the rise of his cheekbones and interest in his eyes. But this time, it feels loaded. He shrugs, brushing you off.

“Which question?”

“Either.” Both, preferably.

“Depends on your definition.” He says, because he knows that you hate when he’s vague, and you tease the number two out of him and learn that he was entirely too young to be in college when he was. You wonder if you ever saw him, in Pasadena, smoggy skies overhead. A glimpse of a bookbag or shaggy brown hair. Not many years between you in age but a lifetime left to pass before you learn each other’s names. The morning dew melts into sludge as the sun warms the grass, and you walk back to the real world begrudgingly.

He knows you. He knows your middle name, and which type of pen you like to keep on your desk. You know that he doesn’t mention his childhood much, and that he hates feeling like he’s intruding. A month in, when October is no longer a hypothetical, you make him a copy of your house key. He will sometimes appear in the mornings, so that you can drive him to work and appear at the office together. He raids your fridge for Jell-O, and likes the fact that you have cable because they play reruns of Star Trek on Saturdays. You figure out how to use your VCR recorder to tape them for him, and it is this way that he is woven into your life. Like a gold thread, he is undetectable until you shine a little light. Until someone looks. You almost forget that it wasn’t always like this.

“Who’s your favorite author?” He asks, around a spoon. You turn away from the oatmeal at the stove, shrugging. You will never understand why he asks questions he knows the answer to. It only occurs to you after you register the genuine curiosity on his face that he hasn’t seen your room, the bookshelves that would give him the answer he seeks.

“Steinbeck.” You say, a little defensive, and you’re happy to see a grin bloom on his face. He sets his bowl down, formulating his response.

“You have good taste. The Grapes of Wrath or Of Mice and Men?”

You reach across the stove to turn it off, a small smile forming on your lips. He watches as you indulge in the slight suspense of it all.

“East of Eden, actually.” You think you may have ruined him. His eyes widen with delight and he launches into an explanation, his spoon clattering onto the counter.

“Oh my God. You have great taste. Good and evil, the Biblical allusions—”

You feel a little like you’re improvising, walking on unsteady flooring. You aren’t sure why he agreed to your proposition, only that it’s working. Despite the way this whole thing started, he doesn’t kiss you often. It’s not necessary, really. All it takes is a little hand-holding and hushed conversation to convince the team. JJ talks to you differently now, like you know something she knows, too. Garcia tells you that you're glowing. Emily smiles when she sees you next to Spencer, a little proud. The bullpen feels a little less desolate when you know that you’re waiting, someone pulling you home. You bicker over the radio station, and he waves from the doorway of his apartment complex every time you go.

“Come on. You're sleep deprived. I’ve caught you in three micro sleeps in the past ten minutes.”

Spencer's voice is soft behind you, but you’re more annoyed than anything. You have two reports left, and you told yourself you wouldn’t leave until they were done. The rest of the team is still at work, too, absorbed in their computers or at least pretending to be. Spencer pulls you to face him, the desk chair squeaking as you spin.

“I am not micro sleeping,” You say, because it is the only part of his claim that you can dispute. He laughs, and shakes his head.

“Give me your keys. I’m taking you home. I’ll drop the car off tomorrow.”

This is not something he has done before. The entire reason why you give him rides is because he hates driving—and his car is a total death trap. You hate to imagine him in that tiny Volvo, an accident waiting to happen.

“Go home,” Hotch calls, breezing past the bullpen. “He’s right.”

You laugh, heat blooming across your face as you stand. You pause while you wait for the elevator, face to face.

“Kiss me like we’re saying goodbye.” You will regret this in the morning, when you feel like you can keep your eyes open. Spencer shakes his head a little, confused.

“We’re not. I’m taking you home.”

“Spencer, I swear. They’re looking. Just do it.” You don't register it, but you are hoping that he will. He sighs, but pulls you close and presses a brief kiss to your lips. He’s tender, tentative, and this is what makes your head spin. You don’t know when you learned the difference between Spencer’s goodbyes and hellos, but the dissonance between the two is clear as day. He is not saying goodbye, not now. The elevator dings, and you step inside. One foot in the door, you look back to make sure he follows.

The holidays haven’t even started.

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fuck-customers · 3 years

Text

So I guess my GM thinks I'm going crazy and I might not get the promotion or respect I'm due because of it.

Backstory: I've worked in and out of fast food for close to ten years now. I've worked at this specific Wacdonalds for four with a year and a half gap in between where I found a better job, then lost it during covid. The reason I left the first time was because I had a mental breakdown. I had to go to a psych ward for a week where the psychiatrist and therapist stressed to me that my job was such a huge stressor on my life that I needed to find a new one for my own safety and agreeing to do that was part of my evaluation for them feeling comfortable releasing me. I did go back after that for a few months but on a limited basis. I didn't do service, I dropped down from being a manager in training back to normal crew, my hours were reduced, and I started seeing a therapist. Unfortunately I was still owed money where I hadn't been properly paid for six months and my supervisor said Wacdonalds didn't do backpay. That was the final push I needed to go elsewhere.

Of course, it's always something going wrong and I lost my new job during covid. I tried finding something else and ended up jobless doing a very, very low paying babysitting gig for six months ($30 a day for a 7 to 8 hour day). Well, recently I ended up needing to get an apartment and needed an actual job. Only fast food was hiring and Wacdonalds was just the easiest thing, especially when it's all the same in my experience. The company who owned the franchise had changed but the same bitch supervisor was there. The GM was on maternity leave.

The first couple months were a STRUGGLE. Short staffed, poorly organized, no AC, managers were quitting without notice, closers were just not showing up. I felt so bad for the assistant gm who was running the show because she worked about every day and every day she walked into bad news. She did her best but the other gms who were supposed to be helping her were making it very obvious how much they didn't want to help and how big an inconvenience every little thing was. Still, she wasn't bad and she did her best to do right by the employees and that was refreshing.

The GM came back from maternity leave at the beginning of the month. People told me some stories about how she was kind of heartless, like telling a crying teenager who had just been called a bitch in drive thru to get over it. I wanted to give her a fair shake but tbh, I'm really done trying to outlast the horrible managers. I've been doing it for years and it's a part of the reason my stress was so bad. I came from a very abusive home and I've always been they'd put protector, so it's ingrained in me, but I just don't want to anymore and decided if that GM was going to treat me poorly, I'd put my foot down.

I work nights so I've only had two interactions with her. The first was when I had tried to reduce my availability to not include closing. We just came off of weeks without any closers and I covered every single night. We also are now closing at 11 and I don't have a car but I do have a two mile walk, so I don't want to do that. I was pulled aside and told my pay would be cut for it and that was the policy. I know that, but having been told it again felt more like a threat and I had just finished helping everyone out of a tough spot, so it felt really insulting. Especially since it's the third time I've tried to do something for my own health and have had my pay threatened. Again, I was an MIT, I'm certified in food safety, and I've been expected to train people in the few months I came back but I'm being paid the same rate as a teenager who joined yesterday.

So I went to the GM and explained this. She kept interrupting me and assuming what I was saying then responding with the typical cookie cutter bs. "Well that's what the owners want." And "This is a policy decided on by blah blah blah." She clearly wasn't listening and she clearly was not going to go out of her way to help an employee. So I just shrugged my shoulders and concluded she was a dead end. This was confirmed when the assistant came to me about the conversation and told me that the GM walked about with not only a different idea about what I had said, but straight up lied about some of the contents. I told her I didn't think I could talk to the GM after that at all.

Recently a sign was out up asking for people to sign up if they wanted a promotion. I signed up as a trainer because it's something I already get asked to do, I'm one of the few people who still know proper procedures, and frankly I'm overqualified. I want the raise and I don't want to be used as a trainer without being paid to be one.

Well, last night the assistant closed with us and we got into a conversation about the GM. She admitted to telling the GM what I said about not thinking I could talk to her and the GM allegedly said it was because I had just repeated the same thing. Now I get it, I ramble at times, but this was clearly not the case when the only thing she got out of the conversation wasn't what I had talked to her about. It's hard to stay on track when you're A) supposed to be working on table and B) keep getting interrupted by the person who is supposed to be listening. I said that felt like an excuse to not take what I said seriously. The assistant then told me that the GM didn't want to promote me to trainer because she thought I was "going crazy" and the assistant went to bat for me. The GM told her if I failed it was on the assistant... which again feels like an excuse to not take accountability.

At the time I made a joke that I was going crazy clearly we had just had a half hour discussion on how to hide a body, but a few minutes later admitted how upset the comment made me. My mental health battle has been uphill. I try to be as open as possible with it because I don't want it to be this shameful secret. I got help I needed. I know if I don't talk about it when it comes up, I will feel ashamed because I'm not the person who fully appreciates help or can easily ask for it. I know a lot of people in my job NEED to have similar help but don't say anything. Sometimes I play it up, being a little unhinged but mostly in times of stress because jokes are how I cope. It's clearly a joke. When I'm not joking I'm serious and quiet. I do jokes and act like a dork because that's how I help people feel comfortable around me. I want people to laugh, even when I haven't felt all that happy in some time. When people take it for granted, mostly because they have spent five minutes to get to know me, then it hurts. I try really hard to not let me convince myself that I'm actually just irreparably broken and going crazy.

I don't want to fail my assistant who is being convinced she's putting her neck out for me, but I also think it's a sign to go elsewhere.

#submissions #fuck managers

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thedeviljudges · 3 years

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the devil judge + the seven deadly sins

so, i made a gifset about who i thought falls under the seven deadly sins. and also shameless plug - please go reblog the gifset i made for this. took me ages to do.

but i figured i might as well make a meta post to correlate. so this is that post. it’s not everything i could discuss. i could be here for hours more, truth be told. but i hope it’s enough to chew on.

while i feel like a lot of these are going to be a no-brainer, i still want to talk it through because idk. i can, and i want to, and i feel like it, lmao.

gluttony

the elite are privileged and have an opportunity to indulge so much more than the general public, but in many different ways. this is shown throughout the show in the fact that they can indulge on luxury food, have political power, they can make a phone call or snap their fingers and everyone must follow their orders.

and the thing about gluttony is that there is always more to be had. you take a little and then realize it’s not enough and so you ask for more. case in point: in episode 11 when sunah suggests that yohan could be the new president, the current one gives her an alternative: dictatorship. because it wasn’t just enough for him to be an actor and the presiding president.

you’ll also know they turn in on themselves - the two other guys in the elite group. one who owns the company and the other dude - i really cannot remember their names and what they do, but y’all know who i’m talking about. it was so easy for them, when threatened, to fabricate documents to give to yohan about each other in order to get ahead. gluttony is only shared in the relationships we have until one realizes they can take a little extra of the pie. it’s the selfishness of having all the leftovers. gluttony cannot necessarily exist without someone else’s sacrifice.

lust

i kind of had an ah-ah moment when i was talking this over with @technitango. i was trying to decide who was going to be lust because lust is portrayed very, very differently in this show than what most of us are used to. we, of course, know sunah who lusts after a life of indulgence and riches because she equates that with respect more than actually wanting it because it’s monetarily worth something.

but then i realized the public is lust because of their need for justice. i won’t say revenge necessarily because they’re doing as they’re told when given the judge show. but we can quickly see how that evaporates into something akin to bloodlust, for criminals and people who normally get away with shit, to have their fair taste at conviction for their misdeeds. we even see it with yohan’s fanboy club - the lust that comes from adoration and dedication.

and even more so, the public is easily swayed and so is the nature of lust. it follows in the vein of needs and wants, and as soon as new information is presented, however may false, so does the wants and desires of what people want sway. how easy was it for them to turn on yohan for a split second on two occasions - on two accounts of bribery.

envy

envy, above all, is about wanting what others have because you do not have it yourself. it may not be exactly what they have, but a form of it. some people don’t necessarily want money - they want what it can by, which is time, health and material goods.

sunah is the perfect example of this. she envies respect and recognition. she talks about bright and shiny objects, and that’s true to her kleptomania tendences, but more than anything, she wants to be seen as an equal because being poor with a vastly different upbringing means she’s looked down upon by those she thinks matters.

which also begs the question why she feels the need to seek validation from people in higher statuses to begin with when she can be the exception and not the rule - form her own understanding and environment to show others that the typical way of the elite is not actually all it’s cracked up to be - to which we see when she has no one to celebrate her victory with. it’s lonely being at the top. you get to your goal you thought you wanted but then what?

more importantly, sunah also envies family, relationships and simply put, human interaction. she wants to be cared for and treasured, and she looks for that in her position of power. because then all eyes are on you. because then that’s what people care about. what she fails to see is that those eyes are just as fruitless and just as wavering. to be a leader means people loving the idea of you but not you as a person.

“people of envious nature are sometimes stimulated to seek to emulate those who have completed some great achievements and in doing so achieve something great for themselves,” according to Understanding Philosophy.

wrath

while i realize that gaon not might entirely fit the wrath trope, he certainly has his moments, and i think he’s lived with a tampered flame since his parent’s death. he just learned to briefly put it out in the form of distractions and a false sense of righteousness and justice. it isn’t until he meets yohan that someone finally gives him the okay to feel the entirety of his emotions, that lets him breath and tells him it’s okay to feel anger and hurt. and while gaon ultimately chooses not to exact revenge, his wrath is what led him to becoming a judge and walking away from his teenage crimality.

gaon transposed his wrath into seeking justice, transformed it into livelihood, and reformed his narrative so that he was no longer angry and a teen with rash emotions. it was simply redirected and never really forgotten. yohan turned that redirection back around onto gaon’s ultimate heartache. fueled with that, it became easier to justify himself and his actions.

the most pivotal moment of turning his back on this mindset is, of course, the minister’s suicide, where he takes a good look at himself and doesn’t like what he sees. at this point, gaon’s upset isn’t necessarily at yohan but at the situation in which they got themselves into. because the thing is, gaon doesn’t absolve himself from what they did. he doesn’t turn a blind eye to that and try to dismiss it. he owns up to what happened and confesses how he feels to yohan and how he has to leave for his own good, and in some indirect way, for yohan’s, too.

with yohan, his ultimately weakness, despite never admitting to it, is family. his wrath comes in the form of anger when the ones he loves are threatened. yohan lives by a moral code of loyalty because that means you won’t be abandoned, and as a child who lived with that verdict since the day he was born, it’s an ever-pressing theme of his.

thing is, wrath comes in two particular forms for yohan. again, one is family and the second is the rose-colored glasses he’s given himself in his revenge story. he’s always had a goal to presumably make right the wrong for taking away isaac, but within that, 10 years is a long time to plot revenge, to the point where it becomes so much easier to lose yourself to that, to become enraged with it and forget the initial goal all along. we see this in his inability to form the bonding moments needed with his niece and his casual throwaway comments over people’s lives - the comment he made to gaon about moving on to the next plan, and the ultimately nail in the coffin of pushing gaon to leaving him.

his fury has also led him to convince himself his own humanity is nothing short of a lie. therefore, it’s easier to justify the means to an end because of his own self-worth and self-deprecation. it’s almost like a self-fulfilling prophecy: he even admitted to gaon’s mentor that he is an abyss. he’s referred to himself as nothing but an animal or a monster - all characteristics of despondency to survive and to justify what he’s doing. sort of like a catch 22, yohan claims he’s an animal/monster and behaves as such, but because he behaves as such, it means he’s an animal/monster.

wrath for gaon and yohan are very different yet the same. they are slow-burning, and that’s a dangerous type. it’s actually interesting when you think about the fire imagery surrounding the two of them because flames are quick to lap at anything in its wake, to destroy within a matter of minutes. and yet for the two of these men, their internal fire eats them from the inside out, painfully, until they’re almost unrecognizable to others and to themselves.

sloth

sloth was a little more difficult to pinpoint because of its characteristics. it was either the minister versus the mentor, both of which i think could work in this role. however, i chose the minister simply because she’s featured more and intertwines heavily with the plot line.

soth is a medieval translation of the Latin term acedia, meaning “without care.”

the ultimate characteristic of sloth is often identified as laziness, and while it’s easy to argue that the minister hasn’t been lazy in her ability to get where she is, she became as much when she started lying to get to her position. isn’t lying known as the easier way out? it absolves you of responsibility, of putting in the hard work, of apologizing and making things right. in the end, she had a goal and found the easiest solution to get there through her lack of responsibility for the roles she more than likely swore an oath to.

but that also translates into the other attributes of sloth: a failure to do the right thing, lack of emotions for people or of the self, and the fact that it “hinders man in his righteous undertakings and thus becomes a terrible source of man’s undoing” according to The Seven Deadly Sins: Society and Evil.

while i think there are a lot of components of sloth that may not necessarily fit the minister, the apathy and carelessness are enough to showcase her aggression, despondency and restlessness when what little efforts she does put in do not go her way. another interesting thing to note is that many of sloth’s traits correspond with symptoms of mental illness, such as depression and anxiety. it’s an interesting thing to note given the way the minister chooses to end her life.

greed

i don’t know that jinjoo would’ve had any provocation to the limelight if it wasn’t for sunah’s direction, but she’s eager to please and wants to be useful. it’s only natural for her to want more because it’s clear she’s a career woman, loves her job and has a heart for serving the people.

but like gluttony, greed is also that little thing that plants itself and can take on a life of its own. you start looking for justifications as to why you can’t have more than what you do, and in jinjoo’s situation, she’s already overlooked through no fault of her own. and it’s not that gaon and yohan are doing it purposefully, which is what makes their neglect heartbreaking, because truthfully, they’re after the same thing jinoo is. sure, it looks different and the foundation of it is different, same with their motives. but they’re all three judges on a residing bench working to exact justice - even if all three of them have their own personal agenda.

i don’t think jinoo fully aligns with greed, but she does want more for herself, and i think that’s only natural. you can tell she has a heart, and she’s keen not to be overlooked. this isn’t her pain point so much as it is she knows her worth and is more than ready to do what it takes to get where she wants. this, in and of itself, isn’t necessarily a bad trait, but we can see how it leads to being deceived, especially for someone who’s been left in the dark for so long.

she is enticed by the glitz and the glamour of being a head judge, but you can tell she feels some remorse and guilt for those thoughts at times. i think her sense of greed is a battle within herself more than it is extremely outwardly.

pride

soohyun’s pride comes in the form of her imbalance with right and wrong. her sense of righteousness and justice is so far leaning, even more than gaon’s. it can be chalked up to her being a cop, but we’ve seen instances of this outside of her role within that agency. her pride doesn’t let her see beyond saving gaon and getting to the bottom of every mystery that comes her way.

it also comes in the form of impulsiveness and her savior complex, putting elijah in danger, for example, instead of waiting for backup. it’s not necessarily from a belief that she can fix things all on her own, but she sees injustice and immediately jumps in. another case in point is her and gaon watching yohan wreck the minister’s son’s car. she’s ready to go stop him, but gaon pulls her back, most likely because at that point, they hadn’t been observing the situation for very long to get a read on it. also the fact that at that point, neither of them truly knew yohan and his capabilities.

but as to where her characteristics come from, we simply don’t know beyond that of gaon. it’s unfortunate because we don’t have much of her backstory, so there is no real understanding why she so firmly believes in entities of regulation beyond keeping her friend out of jail. she prides herself on her work and what she’s able to accomplish, which is why it’s devastating to her to have to protect gaon by cleaning up his bloody handprint.

aristotle is of the belief that, “pride, then, seems to be a sort of crown of the virtues; for it makes them greater, and it is not found without them. Therefore it is hard to be truly proud; for it is impossible without nobility and goodness of character,” from Nicomachean Ethics.

but pride for soohyun isn’t about honors or rewards. it’s for herself and her capabilities, her ability to protect gaon, and the virtues she’s set as the precedent for herself. because sometimes it’s not even about establishing morals and ethics upon yourself. it’s about feelings/intuition, logic and observation. and no, i don’t mean the feelings she has for gaon. there are things that humans do, both actions and words, that we inherently know are bad without someone telling us as much and without the rules of the world seared into our brains. there are some things we know, for a fact, are wrong to us as individuals.

for soohyun, she knows that gaon’s actions, and even her own, have consequences. from what we’ve seen, i think it can be argued that it’s really about not doing those actions to prevent an outcome - not necessarily from a place of being just and right. that doesn’t mean she doesn’t understand good morals/ethics, but again, we have no background of what her internal guidance actually is.

to put this in layman’s terms, we’ll use gaon wanting to stab the conman in his youth. soohyun knows it’s wrong because it will incriminate gaon and therefore she stops it. gaon’s gone to her because he sees her as a moral compass. but is her own internal navigation rooted in justice the way gaon had to find it in the judicial system, or is hers rooted in her pride of keeping gaon safe? she stops him from doing things that will get him in trouble, but is she stopping him because the action itself is wrong or because the outcome will result in undesirable consequences for the two of them?

and of course, there is a flipped argument to be had there - i’m not arguing that gaon stabbing the conman would be right or justified. but what i am saying is that for her, her worldview is the only right one, and when anyone steps out of that, even gaon, it becomes a bit of an issue: the pride she has for that is palpable.

every character indulges

truthfully, every character has at least one form of these sins rooted in their characterization. some are larger than others, but the breadth of it can be explored even further for each. and that’s what makes them more realistic and not just characters written on a page or following a linear progression of their writing deity.

the seven deadly sins are also notoriously rooted in religion. they’re also a defining feature of aristotle’s works that represent the golden mean, in which each vice is parallel to a virtue.

the devil judge is so layered, but i think at the heart of it, it’s about humanity at its core. sprinked in are the philosophies and contradictions and what it means to look in the mirror, what happens when we’re blind to seeing our true selves and most importantly, how much changes when we’re swayed by our own misgivings. it really asks us to understand nature versus nurture, that people must find a belief in something to keep them going, and how futile our hopes and desires can actually be if we’re not carefully regulating ourselves, nevermind the entities established by society to regulate us, too.

the entirety of the show genuinely begs the question as to who is truly right, who is truly wrong, and if it’s even possible to find the correct answer.

#x #the devil judge #the devil judge meta #*#*the devil judge #so i have some Thoughts #probably not very good ones but ya know

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some-days-we-get-sundays · 3 years

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A Wildmoore fic- “A night of endless possibilities”

“Did Mary go to bed?” Sophie came back from the bathroom and saw Mary was gone.

Ryan smiled softly and gave a slight nod towards Mary’s room. “Yeah she told me to tell you good night.”

Sophie stood awkwardly near the middle of the floor, unsure of her next move. Ryan noticed her hesitancy and she patted the spot next to her on the couch. Sophie smiled and took the invite to sit down. They had done this before, late night chats and drinks at The Hold Up- but never alone together in the others place, with drinks, and couches, and beds, and what seemed like a night full of endless possibilities. Ryan poured them both more wine, she could feel the tension between them. It danced and swirled and then sat in place eager to pounce like a cat at the slightest movement.

“So-” they both started to say at the same time and then laughed. Sophie motioned for Ryan to go first. Ryan giggled and looked down at her lap, then she spoke.

“I wanted to thank you Sophie.” Sophie looked taken a back but tried to keep her face neutral. Her honey colored eyes naturally sparkled as she waited for Ryan to elaborate.

“Sophie, you saw me. And I feel like you’ve been seeing me more than anyone has this past year- and I only just started to realize it and appreciate it. I’d been trying so hard to live up to Kate’s legacy and the expectations that came along with being Batwoman and being Kate Kane and trying to fill her shoes. And then when I lost the suit and the gadgets you were there to tell me I didn’t need them, and that just being Ryan Wilder was enough-”

“Damn right it is.” Sophie interjected.

“But you’ve been there pretty much the whole time Soph, and I didn’t even see it. For months now you’ve basically been my ride or die, even when I haven’t been the easiest to get along with-”

“You had a right not to be easy, Ryan. I didn’t make a great impression with you when we first met and I was blindly working under the Crows. I tried so hard to do the right thing in such a screwed up organization that I didn’t realize I was hurting people who I wanted to protect. And you were right about what you said. I wasn’t Batwoman’s enemy, but I was yours.”

Sophie gave Ryan a stoic look but Ryan could see how much it had pained Sophie to ignore what her sister had been saying about the Crows, and to ignore what Ryan had been saying about the Crows and to not listen to her own gut. Ryan knew Sophie was a ‘gut’ person, and that it killed her to go against what her gut was saying. But Ryan forgave her. Sophie was trying to do the right thing. She can’t blame her for that. She’s just glad that Sophie finally saw the light, or the dark in this case; and that when she did, she promptly quit that shitty white supremacist organization. Ryan put her hand on Sophie’s knee.

"I’m so thankful that you’re in my corner. You have no idea how much it meant that you kept convincing me that I was strong and powerful without the fancy ride, and without the loft and the gear and the weapons. Every time I wanted to give up it was like I had a little Sophie angel sitting on my shoulder telling me to keep fighting, and I didn’t want to let her down.” Sophie blushed at that. Ryan noticed Sophie’s blush and it made her stomach turn in weird ways. She thought about removing her hand from Sophie’s knee, but the contact felt right. She slowly started to move her thumb in a comforting manner. Sophie started laughing and Ryan abruptly stopped her movements and started to lift her hand but then Sophie’s hand reached for Ryan’s and kept it in place. Sophie was still giggling slightly as she absentmindedly played with Ryan’s fingers.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m just ticklish.” Sophie snorted and then looked embarrassed. Ryan belly laughed.

“Really, Sophie.”

“Hey, I can’t help it!” Sophie took Ryan’s hand off her knee and then guided their joined hands to the side of their bodies. Neither let go and Ryan started caressing's Sophie’s hand with her thumb. While Ryan looked down at their laced hands, Sophie took that moment to steal glances at Ryan. She knew Ryan was beautiful, anyone with a pulse could see that.

Ryan was still wearing her work uniform from The Hold Up. A tank top that was some how too small but also fit Ryan in all the right places. Sophie mustered up all the strength that she had to ‘look respectfully’. But she couldn't stop her eyes from wandering to Ryan’s eye lashes, and then to her full lips. Ryan chose this moment to look up and she caught Sophie’s eyes. Ryan broke into her big signature grin and put her tongue between her teeth but she didn’t say anything. Sophie on the other hand had a more concentrated look on her face. And before Ryan could read it, Sophie took her other hand that wasn’t laced with Ryan’s, gently placed her thumb on Ryan’s chin and her finger under it, and guided Ryan’s face towards hers. Sophie slowly pressed her lips against Ryan’s. Ryan reacted immediately but in a deliberate and measured exploration.

She let Sophie take the lead. Kissing and sucking the bottom lip when Sophie would take the top; kissing and pecking the top when Sophie would move to the bottom. Sophie’s lips were plump and sweet- and warm. Ryan couldn’t help the moan that escaped her mouth. She let go of Sophie’s hand so that she could grab the back of Sophie’s head and pull her in closer. Ryan couldn’t help how turned on she was becoming and she climbed a top of Sophie’s lap. Sophie moved her hands down to Ryan’s thighs and then to Ryan’s ass. Ryan broke apart from the kiss and placed her lips on Sophie’s neck. In the back of her mind, she wondered how she got here with Sophie in this heated moment, but she also didn’t particularly give a damn right now. All she wanted was Sophie. She kissed and sucked on Sophie’s neck, enjoying the scent of Sophie and being spurred on by the sounds Sophie was making- letting her know that she was enjoying what Ryan was doing with her lips and tongue. Ryan hesitated at first, but then she started marking Sophie’s neck with hickeys. Sophie whimpered and gabbed at the back of Ryan’s shirt. Ryan started to slowly grind herself into Sophie’s lap.

Suddenly the lights flipped on and Sophie and Ryan froze. They looked towards the light switch and saw Mary standing there not looking the least bit shocked, but she had the decency to look embarrassed. She was still drenched in sleep and wine and looking cute in her bunny slippers and her PJs. Ryan slowly slipped off of Sophie and sat back besides her on the couch, not putting space between them but giving Mary an apologetic look. Sophie didn’t look as apologetic as she ran a hand through her hair and tried to hide a smirk. Mary walked past them and didn’t say anything. They waited for her to use the bathroom. She came back out. She turned the lights back off and then as she was heading to her room she said “if you two are going to continue, at least go to Ryan’s room. Ryan, I keep telling you I am not a willing 3rd party!” Mary snarked.

“Sorry Mary!” Both Ryan and Sophie called at Mary’s bedroom door after she closed it. They both dissolved into quiet giggles.

“So, shall we?” Ryan gestured towards her bedroom. She watched Sophie get visibly nervous.

“Soph, it’s ok, we don’t have to do anything. You can just - sleep with me. With our clothes on. We can cuddle.” Sophie got some of her bravado back at this.

“What is this I’m hearing? Is Ryan wilder a cuddler!” Sophie’s natural rasp came out as she chuckled in a good-natured way. Ryan grabbed a near by pillow and lightly smacked Sophie with it. Then she got up and held her hand out for Sophie and led them to Ryan’s room.

“Oh Sophie dear, there is a lot we don’t know about each other.” Ryan said mimicking the words Sophie had used against her only a couple of months ago.

“Also why do you like saying my full name so much?” Ryan asked quizzically.

“I don’t know, it just sounds so good coming out of my mouth. Ryan Wilder.” Sophie enunciated Ryan’s name and let the words roll off her tongue.

“Well if you like the sound of my name so much, I can make you scream it all night.” Ryan said coolly. She gave Sophie a seductive smirk but wiggled her eyebrows to show she was mostly joking. Sophie feigned shock as they entered Ryan’s room.

“Wow! I thought we were just gonna cuddle!” Sophie teased and put her hand to her chest in mock offense.

“Baby, the night is full of endless possibilities.” Ryan said as she closed the door behind them.

#wildmoore #sexy times interrupted #batwoman #ryan wilder #sophie moore #sophie loves ryans name

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xskyll · 3 years

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The BNHA x Chobits AU that no one, not even Mineta, asked for.

The ramblings of my mind under the cut. Warning, it’s loooong.

Okay, so bear in mind that I only watched four episodes of Chobits and it was probably about 14 years ago, and also I didn’t really like it, lol

-Todoroki finds Midoriya laying on some bags of trash next to a dumpster.

-First he’s like “oh no, I need an adult,” because for all his “training,” dad never actually told him what to do when he found a dead body, (this is the summer before he starts U.A., so he’s still living at home). Endeavor is away for a week, and Fuyumi doesn’t count to him (sort of an Aristocats, “she’s not [an adult,] she’s just a sister!” thing). While he’s trying to remember that the police exist, he notices this dead body has very strange ear-like things. He comes closer to investigate. There are lots of weird body types in the world, because of quirks, but these things look metal, which isn’t unheard of, but something about these ears just strike him as unnatural.

- Good news, it seems like a robot, not a dead body. The ears open easily, and there are buttons inside. A power button (that’s right CHOBITS!! It’s in the ear! My love story isn’t going to start with molestation), some USB ports, an aux port, a slot for a microchip or SIM card or whatever, some sort of safety switch (he flips that on)…what really convinces him this is totally a robot are the blutooth and volume buttons (that’s right, Midoriya in this au can charge phones AND he’s a speaker, although the volume buttons’ primary function is to control the volume of his voice).

- He has no good reason for taking this thing home. It weights a ton, it’s awkwardly naked, except for some bandages wrapped around it, which do nothing to hide how anatomically correct this robot is, and he already has a phone charger, so he really has no use for it.

- He feels weird about it though. While he was checking out the ears, he touched its face and the skin was soft and warm. He checked for a pulse, just out of curiosity, and found one. It looks like a person, aside from the ears, and it feels like a person. He feels bad leaving it in the trash. So he takes it home.

- Cue comedy routine where he gets this thing, not just in the house, but to his room without Fuyumi noticing.

- Once in his room, he hits the power switch. Nothing happens. He holds the power switch. Bingo. Robo-boy powers to life, bright, adorably large green eyes open. He’s holding it in his arms, and it’s still all tied up. It looks up at him and says hello.

- He drops it.

- He apologizes as he picks it back up, tugging at the wrappings to try to get its arms free. He realizes he needs to get pants, or at least boxers, for it, because it’s awake now and very much naked.

- For the very first time, he realizes that this adorable, thin-yet-lean-muscled, between 14-16 looking robo-boy might have been someone’s weird sex doll. They probably threw it away because they found a real person to date and they didn’t want them to know about their underage sex robot. This also sort of explains the pulse; the mystery pervert person probably programmed a fake pulse and did something to make his skin warm, to make him feel more real. Gross.

- He’s broken from these thoughts when the robot speaks. It says, “Please insert memory bank files or turn on base memory.” Todoroki is already freaking out, because this thing wants its memories, and he doesn’t have them. He opens the ear again and investigates. Next to the empty slot, there’s a small button labeled BM. Base memory? Sure, why not. He pushes it.

- The robot goes blank faced for a few seconds. When he comes to, he looks at Todoroki, then the room, then down at himself. He flexes his arms, trying to break the bands around him, but stops, saying, “Safety mode is on.”

- Todoroki finishes helping unwrap him, awkwardly doing so while pointedly looking away, once he gets to his lower half. Once he’s free, he goes and gets a pair of boxers and throws them in his direction. “Can you put them on?” He’s curious if the robot can do something like that unaided, and also he doesn’t want to cloth it himself, because even though this is a robot, it looks like a very cute boy his age. And it has a pulse. He can’t stop thinking about that.

- The robot puts on the boxers, after inspecting them for a second. He honestly does struggle to figure it out for a moment, cause he has zero common sense, but he does figure it out. It probably takes him about a minute. Once they’re on, he stands and starts inspecting the room.

- “Do you have a name?” seems like a dumb question, but he asks anyway and the robot answers, “I’m Project Midoriya.”

- Background info time. Midoriya is not fully a robot. He was kidnapped just seven months ago, coming home from school. It was the day of the sludge villain attack, but he got nabbed before they could cross paths. AFO wanted a quirkless person to experiment on. He did his research and found Midoriya Izuku, a quirkless boy with no friends and little family, who wouldn’t be missed very much. He’s confident enough that he won’t get caught that he titles his new project by its name: Midoriya. Midoriya’s memories are still in his mind, but they’re suppressed. AFO found it easier to backup his memories to a chip, so he could remove them as needed. When they were installed, Midoriya responded best to his own name anyway, so calling him that was also the easiest thing. Without his memories, AFO found him a bit annoying, because he had no social skills or common sense. He needed to be taught, which he didn’t have the patience for, so usually he just left the memories in. He was a timid boy anyway and easy to intimidate, especially if he threaten to hurt his mom.

- The cops figure his disappearance was maybe a runaway situation, but given his track record and the profile on him they’d compiled from listening to his mom, classmates, and teachers, they figure it’s more likely a kidnapping or murder. Fun fact though, he got kidnapped the day Bakugou told him to kill himself. Obviously no body is found, but he knows people go to forests to hang themselves, or put weights in their pockets and drown themselves. Those bodies can take years to find. So while all of this is happening, Bakugou is out there just every day, “what have I done, what have I done, what have I done?” When they finally see each other again, Bakugou freaks out and Midoriya’s suppressed memories are triggered. Bakugou demands answers, Todoroki is confused and defensive, and Midoriya is just, “System overload. Shutting down,” and then face plants to the floor.

- Anyway, back to Shouto. He asks Midoriya if he remembers anything. Midoriya has exactly one memory (or at least, one easily accessible memory), and it’s this: “A man. He looked like this.” He put his hand over his face. “He said, ‘Sensei put so much work into you. Why are you so useless (Deku)?’”

- More bg info, AFO gave Midoriya to Shigaraki, telling him to try to make him useful, and Shigaraki DID try for a couple of months, but he was over the whole situation after basically one day. With his memories, Midoriya was scared and traumatized, had morals, cried a bunch and sometimes tried to escape, and was just UGH. He could mute his voice, but even that didn’t help, cause this kid was just sooo annoying. Without his memories he was awkward and boring and still annoying. Eventually he just yeeted him into a trash heap, but took his memory chip, since it technically contains LoV information.

- Midoriya considers his only memory and thinks being called Deku feels sort of normal, so he says as much. “Deku might also be my name. You can call me that, if you want.” Todoroki says he’ll stick with Midoriya, because Deku isn’t a nice name for his new robot friend.

- So the first section of the story after this is fairly light-hearted. Todoroki has to keep Midoriya a secret from Endeavor and Fuyumi (I feel like she does find out eventually, but agrees to help hide him, as she sees it’s good for her little bro to finally have this (maybe?) living thing/person to talk to and take care of.) Speaking of care, Midoriya is very easy to care for. He can eat, drink, and sleep, but doesn’t need to. He has some sort of self-charging system. Most of his “care” involves teaching him social skills (which oof, blind leading the blind, but they say teaching is the best way to learn, so this is actually good for Shouto too). Embarrassing stuff happens. Fluffy stuff happens. It’s a good time.

- Shouto spends the summer with Midoriya this way. Most of their interactions are fluffy and light, but not all. The first time he comes back to his room after training with his dad, he learns two things: Midoriya has first aid knowledge programmed into him and he’s capable of crying. As the trainings continue, Midoriya eventually reveals that he has over a hundred fighting styles programmed into him and knows over 70 ways to kill a person, but he can’t access any of that information while his safety is on. Todoroki is just like, “Uuuuuh, that’s really good to know…but we’re gonna keep the safety on for now, okay? I hate my dad but also please don’t murder him. He’s famous so we wouldn’t get away with it. Also murder is bad, don’t kill people.”

- Midoriya wants to know if all heroes are like Endeavor and Shouto is like, noooo and shows him the debut video of his personal favorite hero: All Might. Watching this video is the first time Midoriya has a “System overloading. Shutting down” moment. Shouto has an absolute panic attack, because if Midoriya reboots and his memories are wiped, then he’ll have lost the best friend he ever had. But Midoriya restarts and he’s fine. He explains that sometimes he shuts down, to prevent a system failure, which would damage his…idk, hard drive or whatever. He quietly admits that the All Might video is very familiar, and he thinks maybe it used to be important to him. Shouto questions him about his memories and Midoriya theorizes that perhaps he has them backed up, but he isn’t sure how to access them.

- This is exciting for Shouto, because he thinks maybe if Midoriya experiences more “triggers,” like the video, he might regain his memories and be able to shed some light on the general mystery of where he came from/who made him/what his purpose is. Whenever Endeavor is away, he tries to sneak Midoriya out, so he can see the real world. He isn’t too concerned about his ears, because in a world of quirks, there are plenty of odd looking people around. So far he’s been wearing Todoroki’s clothes, which a little too big on him, so they go shopping and get him clothes. None of their outings seem to trigger anything, except one time when they pass a park where Midoriya and Bakugou used to play as kids. Midoriya grows quiet and seems far away for a moment, but he doesn’t overload and shakes off the familiar feeling.

- Whenever they see All Might stuff he’s just !!!!!!! He can’t remember why he likes All Might, but he remembers how he feels about him. The more All Might stuff he sees, the more his old feelings return. One day they pass a large All Might poster and Midoriya says, “I think maybe I wanted to be like him, once.”

- Eventually Todoroki starts school. He feels bad about leaving him, but Midoriya is content to stay in his room and occupy himself until Todoroki comes home. He’s part computer, so he’s a total boss at helping with math homework. He likes doing homework with Todoroki in general, because he likes learning. This is great for Todoroki’s grades because again, the teaching thing helps everything stick better for him.

- The attack on USJ happens and Todoroki sees Shigaraki, who has a hand on his face, and he’s like, “Shit, shit, shit, this is the guy who threw away Midoriya,” and he has NO idea what to do with that information. Midoriya belonging to the LoV does explain the “70+ ways to kill” programming though. He tells Midoriya what happened and Midoriya is kind of whatever about it. He says, “Maybe I belonged to villains, but I belong to you, now.” And Shouto is like, “No, no, no, no. You do not. You belong to yourself” and Midoriya is just ????

- I think for the Sports Festival, Midoriya convinces him to use his fire. It’s sort of like, “It’s your power, even though its origin is Endeavor. Just like how everything I can do is my power, even though I was programmed by villains. Being made by villains doesn’t make me a villain. Using the resources they gave me doesn’t make me a villain. Being Endeavor’s son doesn’t make you Endeavor, and using your fire doesn’t either.” Todoroki turns off Midoriya’s safety, confident he has nothing to fear.

- Midoriya watches the Sports Festival on tv (using his blutooth, he can actually just hear the volume in his head, so he can watch silently). He sees Bakugou. Seeing him on screen doesn’t have a huge impact on him, but he does feel something. Fear, unease, admiration, and affection. He’s confused and uncomfortable, and ends up looking away from the screen whenever he’s shown for too long.

- Shouto actually starts making friends at school. Being with Midoriya has taught him a lot about being kind and the joy having other people in your life can bring. Still, he doesn’t trust anyone enough to tell them about Midoriya. He’s terrified of losing him.

- For the Hosu incident, Midoriya is home alone, probably doing something on Shouto’s laptop. He sees the breaking news and is just, “Welp, that’s where Shouto, the official best person in the world, is, so guess I’m going to Hosu to make sure he’s safe.” He leaves the house alone, for the first time ever, and just runs to Hosu. Idk how far away Hosu is from the Todoroki residence, but Midoriya doesn’t fatigue and he’s also outrageously fast, so it’s fine. Also he can see in the dark, but only if he activates his night vision, which makes his eyes glow. Not good for sneaking, but very pretty and cool. I’m not sure how he finds Shouto, or how Shouto found Iida, but I imagine Stain is like, seconds from skewering him and then Midoriya comes out of nowhere and collides with Stain (which is a big deal, cause remember, Midoriya is filled with metal parts and is super heavy). They fight together and at some point Stain cuts Midoriya and he bleeds, which for Shouto is like !?!??! And then he licks his blood and the paralysis works and Shouto is just !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- Later, after the life threatening stuff is over, Todoroki has some seriously thoughts about this, because what if Midoriya is human? Or part human? That would be a huge development, and also kind of relief for him, because he sort of feels like he’s been falling in love, but he’s been desperately stomping down on those feelings, because he knows falling in love with a robot probably isn’t healthy. But falling in love with a half robot? I mean, Iida could be called part robot, with his legs, if you want to get technical about it. And Todoroki does want to get technical about it, thank you very much. If Iida is dateable, then so is Midoriya.

- Back to Hosu. They beat Stain and, after securing him, Todoroki tells Midoriya to go home, before his dad arrives. Once he leaves, he begs Iida not to tell anyone he saw him and promises to explain later. For ease of narrative, Native was unconscious the entire fight.

- Endeavor shows up, as does the Nomu. It takes Shouto but Stain rescues him. At the hospital, Todoroki explains the Midoriya situation to Iida, revealing that this incident was the first time he realized Midoriya had blood in him. Iida agrees to keep the secret, but urges Todoroki to tell someone. Maybe Aizawa. He agrees to consider, but he doesn’t want Midoriya to get taken away and like, locked up to be studied or something. He and Iida become better friends, bonding over almost dying together and sharing the secret of Midoriya.

- Midterms! Shouto scores higher because he has an awesome robot tutor. He doesn’t actually care, but good for him regardless.

- Summer field trip time. Midoriya can’t come, obviously. I’m thinking during this time, he decides to sneak out of the house and explore on his own. He feels guilty, because Shouto would worry if he knew, but he just feels this draw. He feels like maybe his old memories were important, and he’s becoming curious. He keeps thinking about the boy from the Sports Festival and about All Might. He ends up in his old neighborhood. He sees his middle school and he doesn’t remember anything, but seeing the building makes him feel lonely and sort of bad about himself. It reminds him of Shigaraki calling him Deku, and the familiar feeling that gave him. He leaves and finds himself on his old street. He isn’t close at all to his old home - he can barely see the apartment building - but he can still see it. He almost shuts down, but turns away quickly and starts back the way he came. He doesn’t remember anything, but seeing that building fills him with overwhelming emotions. The strongest one reminds him of his feelings for Shouto, but it’s different. He can’t place it, but he knows he’d die to protect Shouto, and he feels like maybe he once knew someone in that building that he would also die to protect. Once he gets home, he realizes he’s crying. He decides to sleep and he dreams of green eyes and a smile that looks like home.

- Shouto is injured during the villain attack and goes to the hospital. Once he’s released, he agrees with Kirishima that they’ll go rescue Bakugou. That whole thing pretty much goes at it did in canon, except All Might never found a successor, so he’s more powerful. He defeats AFO and does not have to retire, though he’s feeling an overwhelming pressure to find a successor now, because he knows he’s hanging on by a thread.

- Dorms!! Shouto is bringing his boy with him. He figures he can hide him just as easily there as he can at home. Getting him in is a little tricky, but he manages. From there, it’s smooth sailing.

- Except not really, because living with 18-19 other people (19 if Hitoshi is in the class, which, maybe) is way different than living with 2. Midoriya is discovered in like, a week and everyone is freaking out, most of all Bakugou, who basically breaks down. He tries to hit Midoriya and screams at him, about thinking he was dead and going to his funeral and how it was his fault and having to face his mom and did Midoriya even think about his mom??? As previously mentioned, Midoriya just shuts down and face plants to the ground.

- Shouto finally learns Midoriya’s full name. Midoriya Izuku. A+ name. Very cute. He plans to use it immediately.

- Bakugou’s insight changes the situation completely. Now they know Izuku was once 100% human and something awful happened to him. They end up bringing him to Aizawa and explaining the situation and everything they know. Todoroki gets scolded, cause Izuku could have been dangerous and he should have known better, but he doesn’t even pretend to have regrets. Endeavor would have made him throw Izuku back into the trash where he found him. His best friend isn’t trash.

- Now the name of the game is helping Izuku restore his memories. Bakugou is a huge help, but patience is required, to keep Izuku from overloading. He remembers bits and pieces at a time, all centered around Bakugou. Aizawa agrees to let him attend classes, so they can keep an eye on him. He’s also hoping a school setting might trigger more memories. He meets All Might and he doesn’t even get to announce his system malfunction before he’s out. He sees him, starts smoking at the mouth and hits the floor. All Might is very alarmed.

- Tsukauchi is made aware of the situation. He wants to keep things under wraps though. If the LoV is aware Midoriya is out and about, they may target him. If they can restore his memories though, they may gain insight into the group’s plans. That being said, he thinks it’s only right that they tell Inko. They tell her they have information on her son and make her sign a contract, agreeing not to release any information. Once she agrees, they brief her on what they know and, at the end, bring in Izuku.

- Izuku has been talking with Bakugou about his mom, to prepare for this (he usually wants Shouto with him for these conversations, and Shouto and Bakugou sort on inadvertently become friends). He can’t remember her at all, but he remembers the face in his dream. He knows it’s her. While talking, he’s shut down a few times (which drives Bakugou up the wall, and also scares him a little, cause he kind of looks dead when it happens), but he thinks he might be ready to see her now. He’s brought in and he does not shut down, not fully, but he comes close. He definitely glitches a little, maybe doing a quick reboot, quick enough that he doesn’t even fall, and his voice comes out cracked and metallic when he speaks, and there are sparks in his mouth, but he manages, “Mom?” They both cry and she holds him while he tells her, voice wavering between sounding normal and sounding robotic, that he doesn’t remember her, but he loves her, he knows he loves her so so much and he knows he’s missed her, even though he didn’t know who she was. It’s very emotional, and extremely hard for both of them when they finally have to separate, because Izuku can’t go home with her. She’s allowed to visit though, and each visit helps him restore little pieces of his memory. Between her and Bakugou, he starts making enough progress that he stops shutting down when he gains a new memory, and he starts remembering his old hopes and dreams. He doesn’t remember what AFO did to him, but he remembers enough of his past to feel self-conscious now, about his body. He breaks down one day and Shouto holds him while he grapples with his identity, his humanity, and his future.

- I’m picturing a scene where he’s crying and Shouto takes his face in his hands and explains all the beautiful things about him that make him human, and he finishes up with something corny like, “I know you, Izuku. You’re human. You have to be human, because I’m in love with you.” And then they KISS and it is ROMANTIC!

- He decides he still wants to be a hero and he becomes a real member of 1A, instead of just a visitor. The whole class helps him design a costume and come up with a name and in general are just like, “Cyborg Hero, yay!!”

- And that’s all I got. I think eventually he would fight the league, and probably retrieve his chip, giving him 100% of his memories. There’s a LOT of trauma to deal with there, because he was basically torn apart and put back together several times by AFO, but they do gain all the information they need to take down the LoV for good. And the Overhaul arc is in there. Izuku might still intern with Nighteye, because All Might is like, “Robot successor? Maybe???” and he wants Nighteye’s opinion. Nighteye can’t see his future, because he’s not fully human, but eventually he gives his stamp of approval. Eri is rescued and that’s a very personal fight for Izuku, because he identifies with what she’s gone through. And of course she loves him and thinks his ears are cute and his glowy eyes are pretty.

- Oh, and the School Festival. I honestly don’t even know what to do with him. He can learn any instrument just by like, downloading some YouTube tutorial videos. He can learn any dance by watching it once. He’s really strong, really fast, and can also operate as a speaker (though that can be awkward, cause it’s through his mouth, so he’d just be standing there with his mouth open). They might keep his role same as canon, idk. They’d probably all fight over him.

- I’m sure none of this was anything like Chobits. Sorry. I just think the ears are neat, really, and liked the idea of Izuku being a cyborg (Chobits isn’t even about cyborgs, lol).

Sorry this is outrageously long! If you want to write this into a full fic, feel free to use my ideas! Just give me a shoutout, maybe? And tell me about it, so I can read it!

#skylldraws #skyll rambles #tddk #tddk fanart #tddk au #tododeku #tododeku au #bnha #bnha x chobits #todoroki x midoriya #shouto x izuku #todoizu #tddk ficlet #tododeku ficlet #todoroki shouto #midoriya izuku

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