#but then part 2 would be three sections which is just too many

[justpoliteconversations]

Apple Merchant [BOTW!Link x Isekai!Reader] (Part 3)

The house does not make a home, but a home can make a man.

The trash pile has grown again. It's spilling out of the bin.

Part 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6

Alternate Extras: Embrace

Masterlist

TW: Choosing not to display warnings. Read at your own discretion.

Disclaimer: Don't own The Legend of Zelda franchise.

---

The house is bigger than you remember it being from the game. For one, there's a sectioned off washroom hidden partially under the loft stairs and a full kitchen area in the left rear of the house. The ceiling is also ridiculously high for a one story (technically two) house, but you let that detail slide. It's to your- Link's, benefit, after all.

Another thing, upgrades are not offered automatically here. Though that should've been obvious in hindsight and you're a bit embarrassed to admit it'd slipped your mind. Most people would decorate and furnish their own homes with either their old furniture or newly bought.

That's what the many, many shops the game never had reason to show were for, after all.

Therein led to your current dilemma.

Practicality or comfort? The large thin rug with dark patterns, or a smaller plush one with elegant designs embroidered at the edges? Red covers? Blue, white, gray? All of them perhaps? Maybe just three?

Does Link prefer cast iron or the wok? Steel forks or maybe chop sticks? A full set of pots and pans, or just two or three good ones for repeated use? Which set of knives? The specialty set or a general use one?

Should the loft have a rug too? Should you get both? Should you get three? What about the washroom?

Towels? A vase...

Dumb idea. No vases.

Should there be two beds? When Link frees Zelda from the castle, surely the poor woman won't be made to live there in that festering monster's nest of a ruin. And having been trapped there for a century as the world outside moved forward (after having been royalty nonetheless), would she even know how to live on her own?

Would it be presumptuous of you to already set up for her arrival before Link even properly remembered who she was? You didn't want to make Link feel obligated to fufill your assumptions like that. He already had so much on his shoulders. He didn't need you to add more.

So, only one bed. Sheets?

"Jus' get them all, ya cluckin' mother cucco." Adino snapped waspishly, thin brows pulled down into a severe looking glare. His arms were crossed as he leaned against the wall closest to the 'Odds and Ends' shop's door, pointedly.

You barely spared him a glance, used to his attitude after having known him for nearly three years. And honestly, it was all for show anyway. Adino loved shopping with you, but the spiteful little shit would never admit it. Even under pain of death.

'Jus' making sure the walkin' rupee bag doesn't fall dead to an ill fated breeze.' He'd snark if ever questioned why he was following you around on his days off.

Lies, of course. The truth is he's lonely. So very lonely and too hurt yet to reach out to anyone else for companionship.

The man he'd called father for 14 years of his short life suddenly throws him out of the only home he'd known with barely the clothes on his back. All after finding out his recently departed wife had been having affairs. And the kicker, the bastard claims he supposedly doesn't even know if Adino's his or not (despite them having the exact same eyes and brows).

It'd been convenient though, you'd give him that. Just washed his hands of the situation entirely. Started fresh with a new wife and got rid of the unnaturally (Adino had parroted coldly, like a curse and a confession breathed in the same breath) effeminate son that may or may not be his.

No stings attached. Just living comfortably on his late wife's family property and shacking up with her younger sister.

And that abandoned son running, running, running across Hyrule. Until he dropped right outside of Hateno, quiet and hurting and nearly driven mad with hateful, writhing loathing.

You pull yourself from those thoughts. It's not your business. Adino may have shared that information with you during his mandatory background check, but that doesn't mean it's any of your business.

Even if the boy is living with you, and has been for the last three years.

(Even if you already ruined that man's fletching business. Even if you never told Adino why that man'd taken a very long walk off a very tall cliff.

Even if Adino knew and left flowers on your desk every year on that day ever since.)

"I'll take them all. As well as the rugs, towels and curtains, please. Oh. And that tapestry. Yes. The one with the apples."

Adino snorted, rolling his eyes, and you smiled. A merchant's got to advertise wherever possible, after all.

The older, greying woman behind the counter nodded, glancing over to two younger women (her granddaughters, twins and five years orphaned. turned 17 last Fall) waiting unobtrusively near the back of the shop. They didn't need any more instruction than that, swiftly gathering your choices and folding them into neatly wrapped bundles.

You swear this family had to have some sheikah blood in them somewhere. Even if they had pitch black hair and the darkest grey eyes you've ever seen. They were just too quiet and efficient to be normal Hyrulians. (And were little known for their discretion above all else.)

You tipped the women for thier help. They thanked you with a quiet tilt of their perfectly kept heads, before returning to their preferred corner in the far back.

You didn't bother to barter with this woman. You paid full price for everything, and then tipped her too.

Four gold rupees. And a note, which she took with a nod and a knowing glint in her eyes.

(Because they were known for their discretion, and you appreciated that more than anything.

You knew she understood the flowers you left on her desk every year on the same day.

And you knew she'd understand this too.)

You left, but not before catching one of the twins (the one with the blue head cloth and lip rouge) staring longingly after Adino's back as he marched from the store in a dramatic huff. Her sister hiding a probable grin behind her red painted hand.

'Interesting. But not my problem.'

---

Link looked up the curved path to Hateno's guarded gate as he sheathed his guardian sword, the black mist of two hopelessly mangled bodies blowing away in the strong mountainside winds. Further back still was the semi-conscious groan of a young woman surrounded by fallen mushrooms.

Link ignored her slowly rising form, having checked her vitals earlier before being ambushed by a pair of bokoblins. He knew she'd be fine, and honestly, if she was sneaking around monster infested forests for mushrooms (Link could still hear the snorting of the beasts further past the treeline) then she must be able to take a hit or two and come out okay.

She must have had the same thoughts because she merely dusted herself off, picked up her fallen produce and made for the trees once more. Barely sparing Link a backwards wave before disappearing into the thick underbrush.

Link blinked after her. And sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

So. That happened.

Link let it roll off his back easily enough. He had more important issues to deal with. Such as was it appropriate for him to just show up at your (and now his) doorstep fresh from the road and smelling every bit of it.

He discreetly sniffed under his arm and grimaced.

Surely you'd understand. You and him were connected after all, and you knew his name and knew he'd be coming to Hateno. A little roadside reek shouldn't be a big surprise.

Yet. He couldn't shake the self-consciousness. The irrational fear that you'd look at him and expect more than what you got.

Like that old man who was actually a dead person. Like that Impa woman, and everyone in that little village she lived in.

For how quickly he'd steamrolled through the untamed wilds of Hyrule just to meet you, he was oddly reluctant to continue now that he was at your metaphoric (and soon literal) doorstep.

He glanced down at himself, taking himself in with a critical eye.

The Sheikah armor he wore (it had been under 10,000 rupees, he checked) was covered in dust, grim and the unflattering stains of sweat, dried bloody drool (from that unfortunate incident with the bokoblin horse), grass and meat grease. His hair was so filthy it was nearly brown despite that equally unfortunate incident with the octorok having put him in the water several times (strong inconsistent winds make aiming bows hard, he'd discovered).

Hopefully you wouldn't be disgusted. He hoped you understood that he wasn't- well-

He wasn't who he used to be. Apparently.

"Link." A flat voice called out, and Link nearly jumped to attention at the unexpected interruption. He nearly reached for his sword too, before he stopped himself.

When Link looked up and met dark gray eyes, his heart started to tightened.

'Is that you, AM?' His eyes asked earnestly, wide and round with quiet searching. For recognition. For understanding. For anything at all.

Instead he got a slow, dispassionate blink and confusion as the woman spoke into the silence between them. "AM instructed me to lead you home, Master Link."

Link pointed to himself. "Master?" He rasped out quietly, voice rough and unpleasant even to his own ears. Nothing to say for the pain it caused at the base of his throat.

Without missing a beat the young woman nodded once, the blue bandana holding her dark hair back catching slightly in the wind. Blue painted lips barely moving as she said. "Yes. I will explain more once we arrive at your home."

Link nodded, still uncertain but trusting enough of this strange woman who knew the name (Alis? Nickname? Title, perhaps?) of his sheikah slate partner.

Tomorrow, he would be given a small journal detailing many of the dangers and wonders of this beautiful, wild world he now lived in. And he wouldn't be so trusting anymore.

And he'd have bananas, apparently. So many bananas.

But that's for tomorrow. Today?

Today was the first time he walked across the old, but sturdy footbridge. The first time he glanced over at the shrine glowing faintly to his left, peeking from behind a small cluster of buildings.

It was the first day he stood on the threshold of his (and your) new home. The first time since awakening he felt the beginning of heartbreak as he realized you were not there to greet him. That you would not be living with him. Ever.

('For now,' He thought in quiet defiance.)

And the first time since he opened his eyes in that dark, eerily glowing shrine he felt loved. When his eyes adjusted to the darker light of the house and found a home waiting for him.

Not just an empty building with four walls and a bed, but a rug with pretty dark patterns under a heavy wooden table. A bowl of apples at its center, with thick candles at either side. An intricately sewn tablecloth just slightly hanging over the sides in delicate little weaves.

He felt loved when he walked around the front room, boot-heavy steps thumping softly on polished hardwood floors, slowly taking in the space (the blue woman waiting patiently at the door). The small wooden sculptures upon carefully arranged tables, cute and quirky banners and tapestries brightening up the dimly lit room (one was slightly lower than the rest, another was slightly off-center, and Link felt warm at the imperfections). Sunflowers, a bird, a rock formation, an apple tree, a cat with a bell.

A sword and shield rack. Two armor stands. A few weapon's plaque hanging above them.

The food in the kitchen pantry. Completely unnecessary, but for the way it made Link feel. The way it made his throat tighten and itch. The thought that this was put here because it was meant to be his home.

And so much more. So many things he couldn't even remember the uses for. So many bits and pieces that slot together into the jumbled mess that is a home. It was more than he had the heart to acknowledge without weeping.

Noticing his brewing turmoil, the blue woman spoke. "Perhaps a bath and bed before we speak of business. AM said you may be tired when you arrived."

Link nodded, unwilling to speak and risk his voice breaking entirely. Instead he allowed himself to be led to the washroom, holding back tears when he found bottles of sweet smelling soaps and hair cleansers on a small table beside a stool above a drain. A tub beside it all, shaped like a bowl but with a drain at the bottom and a water spout at the rim.

He looked to the blue woman, overwhelmed and dazed by the strength of his emotions.

Something in her softened at his lost expression. "Let me bath you, Master Link." She said, keeping her voice even, though her dark eyes were gentle. "Just until you learn how to do it yourself."

Link nodded. Quiet and trusting in his vulnerability.

She helped him undress. She made him sit on the stool as she gathered what she needed.

Her hands were so, so gentle as they brought a warm, wet towel over his dirtied, battered skin.

He nearly fell into a doze twice as she washed his hair three times until the suds came off white. He was only minimally aware of the strong (deceptively strong) hands that helped him into the tub. He nearly slumped into the side of the bowl, body completely lax within the warm, welcoming water.

He opened his eyes from one blink to the next and blankets (thick and soft, smelling of fresh soaps and linen) were being drawn over his shoulders. The pillow beneath him gave under the weight of his head, as did the mattress he laid upon.

Every part of him felt warm and soft and safe. He smelt like flowers and sweet nuts, his skin felt clean and supple under the tender caress of his nightclothes. The further dimming lights eased him further down into slumber.

"Rest well, Master Link. I will guard you as you sleep."

Link couldn't even bring himself to respond, lost as he was to the call to nothingness.

He was lost not long after.

"One day." The blue woman said softly, sitting beside the unconscious man with an amused smile. "I will teach you to identify sleeping oils before they reach you. But not tonight. For tonight you sleep. Tomorrow, you will learn to be wary."

She wiped her delicate finger tips across his relaxed forehead, a slight sheen left in their wake.

"Sweet dreams, Courageous One."

---

Link,

I apologize that I could not be there to greet you properly. However, after careful consideration I decided it would be safest for our paths to remain separate at this time.

Herein this text, you will find all relevant information I've amassed over the years regarding our world and the dangers within it. Including, but not limited to, the continued threat of the Yiga clan.

May you never have to make use of the less savory of this knowledge.

Yours truly,

AM

---

To the shadows I return.

#botw link #isekai reader #link x reader #link x you #botw x reader

[sinsmockingbird]

Aight, dis the (F!)MC family with (Yandere!)Yukong request (more like a ramble I guess which you can feel free to adapt to a request/fic as you want) :3

What do you think their children would look like? They'd probably have floofy hairs/tails like Yukong (Foxian/Kitsune genetics I've always thought are probs very strong), and they'd probably grow up very spoiled, by Qingni, who'd I'd imagine would be a great older sister, and by the Astral Express whenever they visit.

I can't help but feel like there'd be some friction there between Yukong and the crew, since the crew might feel something is off about Yukong being overly protective, alongside with Stelle's sudden decision to stay on the Luofu, and Yukong is afraid they might try to take Stelle with them.

I also wonder how Qingni would react to the whole situation in the first place. While she'd probably be very happy to see her mother happy, and to have younger siblings, she might also find Stelle's sudden decision to stay a bit weird (not that'd she'd comment on it).

If Stelle and Qingni grow close during Stelle's stay on the Luofu, I could totally see Yukong using that to further try to convince Stelle to stay, pointing out how they make such a lovely family the three of them together. Something along the lines of, It'd be a shame to throw it all away to go explore, and maybe never get to come back to see them. Who knows, maybe we could give Qingni some younger siblings? She did always want some as a child. Surely it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world if you somehow ended up pregnant, right?

Sorry for the mess of ideas that this was oeidfvgjherhfgu I had a lot of thoughts after the fic that you made (which I may or may not have read lots of times already). Please feel free to only adapt parts of it/segment it, I can always send other requests in the future with the other sections if they don't mesh well together/get too long if you don't mind.

"PROTECTING" PT.2 | Yukong

PAIRING: Yukong x Afab!Reader

WARNINGS: Fluff, SFW, Slight NSFW, Yandere!Yukong, Manipulation, Alludes to smut & breeding.

AUTHORS NOTE: I love these little rambles and ideas. I tried to include as many of these as possible, and I'd love to hear any more ideas you have!

WHEN YOUR daughter was first born, she was a perfect mix of you and Yukong, with a fluffy tail and ears being the prominent foxian genes in her. She was immediately spoiled and loved by not only you two but the Astral Express as well. She was quickly welcomed into the family, dotted on by someone almost 24/7.

Welt was quickly deemed her Godfather, and was seen as her grandpa considering the fatherly relationship he had with you. Himeko was her Godmother, and she honestly almost cried when you asked her if she'd like to.

Dan Heng was surprisingly protective over her, despite not really knowing... how to treat her, yet he wouldn't dare let someone harm her, like a protective older brother. March 7th was, as expected, absolutely in love with her, declaring her the cool aunt who buys her so much toys, stuffies, clothes- you name it, March will get it.

Qingni was... interesting. She absolutely loved her little sister when she was born, always quick to care and play with her when she got the chance. She'd do anything for her, spoiling her with all sorts of things just like March.

Yet, despite being happy to have a little sister, Qingni couldn't help the weird feeling she had in her chest. Your sudden decision to stay on the Luofu was certainly... sudden, to say the least, and especially how quickly your relationship with her mother grew. While she was happy for Yukong to have found someone to love, she just found it all weird, but she didn't comment on anything, rather just enjoying the fact she has a younger sibling.

Plus, Qingni found herself getting close to you as well. She was really beginning to see you as another mother, despite not calling you mom yet. Which you didn't mind, you were simply happy to have a good relationship with her.

"You and Qingni seem to be getting along fine." Yukong mused as she moved to hug you from behind, nuzzling her face into your neck.

You laugh softly at her affectionate actions, watching as Qingni entertained her baby sister. "I'd like to think so."

"Trust me, she likes you." Yukong reassured, pressing a gentle kiss against your temple before laying her head on your shoulder. "We make quite a lovely family, don't we? Us four."

You thought for a moment, watching as Qingni stopped her sister from chewing on her tail. "Yeah... yeah we do."

Yukong lifted her head, eyeing you for a moment, seeing the way your eyebrows were furrowed together, sensing that something wasn't right. "Is there something wrong, my love?"

"Hm?" You look at her, before quickly shaking your head, then pausing as you thought for a moment. "Nothings wrong, perse... sorry, I'm just having thoughts about missing the Astral Express."

That made worry strike Yukong like a strike of lightning hitting a tree. It wasn't uncommon for you to find yourself having thoughts of the Astral Express crew as well as missing that adventure with them. It scared the old foxian like no other, because she's tried everything to get you to stay here on the Xianzhou with her.

Her ears pulled back against her head, tail swishing back and forth more behind her. She held a hard look on her face when you looked back to gaze at your daughter and Qingni, and Yukong realized what she had to do again to ensure you would stay here with her.

You let out a sudden gasp as you felt Yukong press her front flush against your back, pressing you against the counter you were both standing behind. You quickly gripped the edge of it, eyes widening and face flushing as you felt her press her face into your neck, inhaling your scent while kissing and nipping at your skin.

"Y-Yukong, the girls!" You quickly whispered it with panic, eyes wide as you watched your guys daughters, praying they didn't look over to see one of their mothers pressed so intimately against the other.

"We're fine, they're too distracted by one another," Yukong reassured, her voice low and sultry as she kissed your neck more.

You whimpered softly, before biting your lip to hold back your sounds, not wanting to alert Qingni. You bowed your head slightly, breathing heavy as you felt Yukong grinding her hips against you from behind, letting you feel her growing bulge under her clothes. Her sudden need for you caught you off guard, but you definitely weren't complaining.

"My love, let's go to our room. The girls will be alright by themselves for an hour or so," Yukong murmured, moving to suck on your ear lobe, nibbling on it and making your face flush more.

"J-Just an hour..?" You ask, tilting your head slightly back towards her.

"Just an hour," Yukong repeated, but she had other plans. She was going to keep you locked in your room for however long she wanted, thoroughly breeding you again.

Because there's no way you'd leave the Xianzhou, leave her, if you have a second, maybe third or forth child, right? You wouldn't dare do that to her.

She was going to make sure you'd never leaver.

ENDING NOTES: Sorry this is short! I wanted to keep this part mostly SFW. But I'll maybe do a part 3 if it's asked for.

#*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟsins writings #honkai star rail #honkai fluff #yukong #hsr!yukong #dom!yukong #yukong x you #yukong x reader

[gavisfanta]

reader is working for redbull racing and gavi amd her meet during the spanish gp

REDBULL RACING - GAVI

summary: you work for red bull racing and Gavi comes to watch the race.

a/n: not proofread AND I LOVE THIS REQUEST

warnings: none (except for every nom red bull fan, max winning )

"Where is Max?" You walked through the garage and asked George, he was one of the people who worked with Max today.

"He should be talking to Adrian." George pointed towards Adrian, and indeed, next to him was Max.

You quickly walked over to them and waited until they stopped talking to eachother.

"Hey, I'm sorry to interrupt but there are a few footballers coning in about 2 minutes and they'd want to talk to you and we could also take pictures." You explained and Adrian looked at you.

"Pay attention to him, we hope he won't change to football." Adrian winked and the laughed loudly while walking away.

"That guys is a catastrophe." Max laughed a bit as he turned to face you.

"Just the usual, everyone is excited for the new race." You shrugged your shoulders and then you and Max started walking into the quieter part of the garage.

"Ah man, I hope I win this race." Max shook his head as he let it sink the same time.

"I'm sure you will, don't worry." You paused for a second as you patted his arm. "I'm not really professional in that area with the cars and stuff, but I'd pay extra much attention to the heat. It's insanely hot today."

"Yeah, I didn't think Barcelona is this hot." He pushed his hair back and looked at you. "It wasn't this hot the last time no?"

You chuckled a little bit at his question." I don't remember, I've been to too many hot places this season."

Max furrowed his eyebrows. "But you're from here, no? I thought you said that once."

"I grew up here, yeah." You nodded your head while giving him a friendly smile.

"Must be nice growing up so close to the beach. Mate I wish I could just take a day off and go swim here." Max explained and just as you wanted to reply you saw three people walk in.

"Oh, they're here." You smiled at Max and then the two of you walked closer to the three footballers.

"Neymar, Pedri and Gavi, nice to see you all. Did you have a good journey?" You asked and they nodded their head.

"It's so hot tho, how do you manage to run around in this suit man?" Neymar laughed a bit as he went closer to Max and dabbed him up.

Then Pedri and Gavi also went to say hello, after that, Neymar and max started a rather deeper conversation, that's why the two of you started talking to you a bit.

You knew them, of course you knew them. Your dad grew up as a Barça fan and also raised you and your brother one.

If you weren't currently working, you tried to watch every Barça game possible.

Adrian, your boss knew that and was so bice to give you the day off tomorrow, so you could go and watch the game.

Since it was pretty lucky that you were in Barcelona you decided to go all in and buy tickets at the vip section.

"So what's your job? Are you Max' bodyguard?" Pedri started the conversation with you, he wore that cheeky smile he often wore during some interviews.

"Good one, I'd love to be but I'm a the brand and campain manager." You smiled as Pedri raised his brows. That complicated word also caught Gavi's attention who now stepped closer to you two so he would be able to listen to the conversation.

"How did you manage to work for Red Bull?" Gavi asked the next question. You looked not older than 19 and were working as a Brand and Campain Manager. That was impressive.

"I applied to the job, got called in for a job interview and got the job. That's about it." You smiled slightly and both of them gave you an impressed look.

"So glad they picked her!" Max added into the comverstaion kf you and the two footballers which made everyone laugh.

You and Max had a good relationship, since you were working with him most of the time, or rather always. You were always included into traveling with him, interviews, photoshoots and of course, the races.

"So you post things on insta too?" Gavi immediately stepped a bit closer to you while he pulled out his phone.

You smiled a little bit at his sudden gesture and Pedri was also left by a small smirk. He was surprised that Gavi made a move on you that quick. Pedri had to admit you were pretty, yes, however he didn't see you as Gavi's type.

"I do post on instagram, yes." You looked at him before taking his phone from his hand and typing in your Instagram.

"Your name is Y/n?" Gavi looked up at you from the screen.

"Yes," You smiled.

"Nice to meet you Y/n." He put his hand out for you to shake. Your eyes flashed from his hand to his eyes before you lifted up your hand too.

"Nice to meet you Gavi."

-

"Gavi is pretty into you, hmm?" Max stubbed your arm with his elbow while you two made your way up the stairs into the kind of eating room which was positioned above the garage.

"I don't think so, maybe hs just wants to be friends." You kept your gaze on the stairs until you finally reached the eating room.

"Yeah, Y/n let me help you with him, I have a girlfriend I know how to do this." Max sat down on a chair and you sat down in front of him at the table.

You sighed before you gave him your phone. "What's the password?" He looked at you.

"RedBull, spelled out with the numbers." You mumbled while you put your head into your hands and watched him type something around on instagram.

"So I texted him, 'hey, maybe a quick talk after the race? talking to you was so fun' i think that's decent." Max reached you back your phone and you nodded.

"Decent, you need to be decently read now. Let's go." Putting your phone back into your redbull uniform you and Max stood up to walk into the garage again.

"Where have you two been? The race is going to start soon, Max go and get ready, Perez is already waiting for you, go!" Adrian yelled and you smiled slightly while you followed them. You recorded so.e stuff for the instagram channel and then went to sit down in the garage, waiting for the race to start.

-

"I can't fucking believe you've done it again." You smiled while you hugged Max. He just smiled at you as he thej reached you the trophy.

"Here, I'll take a picture of you." You gave him your phone and then held the trophy oj your hands.

The biggest smile was covering your face while you looked at the camera.

This was Max's 4th win this season. He couldn't be any happier.

After everything had calmed down a little and mostly everyone went home, you checked your phone after a while.

-

maxverstappen1

liked by neymarjr, pablogavi and 2,919,664 others.

maxverstappen1 it was nice to see you again @neymarjr

-

You smiled while you liked the post, and in the exact same second you notoced that you received a dm.

So you clicked onto the button and saw that Gavi responded 3 hours ago.

[PABLOGAVI:] Hmm of course

[PABLOGAVI:] How about you text me when you have time and I'll come to pick you up?

[YOURINSTA:] Right now would be awesome

[PABLOGAVI:] Where do I need to pisk you up from?

[YOURINSTA:] I'll walk outside the grand prix and at the redbull entrance

[YOURINSTA:] You know where that is?

[PABLOGAVI:] Yeah, I'll be there in 15

[YOURINSTA:] perfect

"What are you doing?" Max came up to you, he couldn't seem to notice that there was a huge smile displayed on your face after you turned off the phone.

"Gavi texted back." You said excitedly and Max's face lit up even more.

"He did? what did he say?" You watched as Max snatched your phone and then looked at the messages. After he gave it back he smiled and then looked down at your outfit. You were still wearing the redbull clothes. They were out of a really light material so you wouldn't get too hot in them.

"I look bad, I know." You smiled and then your smile quickly faded as a very stressed looking Adrain walked over to you two at a rapid speed.

"Y/n, Max and you gotta leave in 20 minutes, come on." Adrian told you but Max shook his head.

"Actually." Adrian turned around after Max said that. "I think she can go, I'll be fine without her." Max kept his gaze strictly on your boss's eyes. So you watched as Adrian sighed and then rubbed his eyes.

"Fine, if Verstappen says so." He waved at you before going back to rubbing his eyes. Max gave you a quick smile which you gladly returned.

"I owe you something" You whispered in a quiet tone.

"Oh you definitely do." He laughed and you waved at him while walking to the exit. On your way there, you said bye to some people and then saw a white Cupra parked down right in fronr of the exit.

So you guessed thwt it was Gavi, and to your surprise, it was. He unlocked the door immediately so that you could sit inside.

"Hey, how are you?" Gavi immediately asked, he wanted to seem interested in you, which he was by the way.

"Oh I'm alright, Max won the race so I'm happy." You smiled and then threw back your hair behind your back.

Gavi was just sitting there admiring you, you were probably the prettiest girl he has ever seen in his life.

"Yes, I saw that. I couldn't stay for the celebrations, sadly. Xavi wanted to have a quick meeting before the game after tomorrow." Gavi explained and he then began to drive after you buckled up.

"Yes, I understand. I'm going to the game tomorrow so I'm excited." You smiled while you looked straight ahead. You didn't dare to look at him, even tho you could have stared at him while drooling.

"You wanna sit in the vip section? You know I could get you the tockets where you can go and meet the players afterwards-" Before he cpuld continue you smiled like crazy.

"That's really nice of you, but I already have that ticket." His jaw dropped as soon as you said that.

"Are you crazy? Those tickets cost like 12000. Man I don't know how good RedBull pays but they shouldn't pay that good." Gavi said in a pretty fast tone.

"Don't worry about my money, the last time I was at a Barca game was probably 4 years ago. I've been craving some Blaugrana playstyle." You smiled lightly at him as he nodded.

"Yes see, but now you're putting pressure on me. If we loose, then you soent that twelve hundred for nothing." Gavi explained and you couldn't help but smile the whole time.

He was exactly like you, you got along with him so well.

"Win then. Boom that's the easiest solution." You made a motion with your hands as if there was an explosion.

"You're funny." He smiled at you while he said in all honesty. You couldn't help but blush, so you looked away from him.

It had been way too long ever since you went out with a guy, not even went out, even talked properly to a guy.

Of course you were surrounded by men all the time but for you those were all just your co workers. Someone who chased the same dream as you with the team.

"We're here." Gavi parked the car and you looked at a small café next to the beach. It was a bit further from the city, that's why the grand prix was close to it.

"I was never here before." You mumbled and then got out of the car.

"Makes sense, no?" Gavi out his hands into his pockets while you two walked over to the door.

"I grew up here, so no, not really." You laughed a bit at his shocked expression, once again.

"You shock me with every word you say," He then dropped the whole shocked act and smiled after he saw that you blushed.

Then he proceeded to open the door to the café for you and you walked inside.

You received some weird looks from some people because of your clothes. "Isn't it weird going to a café at 10pm?" You whispered to Gavi and he leaned closer to you face to understand you better.

"You shouldn't care about what others think about you, also, this place is always full. They're open until like 12, so we still have time." Gavi explained while the two of you decided to sit into a booth.

The seats were a dark red while the table was black.

"So, what are you up to when you aren't working?" Gavi began to conversation first. That was a really good question thst you couldn't even answer.

"Um, I work all the time, so I don't really know." You laughed a bit while you scratched the back of your head.

"And when you have a free day? What do you like to do?" Your mind was flooded with things like work that you complete forgot about the rest.

"I like to read. I have a whole bookshelf of books at home." You remembered. You often read outside in the park.

"What kind of books do you read?" Gavi leaned forward, genuinely seemingly interested in your interests.

"Oh I read romance, like Ugly Love, Reminders of him, Icebreaker-" He cut you off before you could have finished that.

"Oh no" He laughed and covered his face with his hands. "My sister forced me to read that because she said that it's very good."

"And did you think it was good?" You smiled a little, knowing what's it sbout.

"No words." he acted like he zipped his mouth shut and then threw away the key.

In that momemt a waiter came over and took your orders.

There weren't many orders to take however since Gavi and you both only drank water.

"Enough from me now, what do you like to do in your free time?" You pushed the glass of Water a bit to the side.

"Hm, I like to hang out with my friends and family, I play football of course and that's about it." He explained and you continued to talk about mainly Barcelona and how excited Gavi is to play again.

After that you paid and left the café. Then you two decided to go on a walk at the beach under the moonlight.

While there was a comfortable silence between you two, you had time to think.

This small date had made you realize that you like Gavi, even more than a friend. It may have been too early to tell but you were so sure of it that you had feelings for him.

Gavi wasn't any diffrent, after spending time with you today he knew he'd fight for you to be closer to him.

It wss crazy to think about that you only met today because you both felt like you've known eachother for years.

"I really feel comfortable around you," Gavi spoke up and you immediately turned to look at him.

"I like being around you too." You smiled as you looked up at him.

"I hope we can meet again? For another date maybe?" Gavi then asked and you swore that you felt your stomach cramp a bit

"A date?" You raised your eyebrows. You expected Gavi to shake his head, to say no but instead, he said:

"Yeah, a date."

You smiled. "I'd love to."

#barca #fc barcelona #gavi #pablo gavi #football #futbol #fanfic #mustread #espana #gavi x reader #gavi fluff #pablo paez gavi #pablo martín páez gavira #pablo gavira #max verstappen #f1 #red bull racing #red bull f1 #MAX VERSTAPPEN IS THE GOAT IDC

[koorminii]

COLLEGESLUTS.COM — IDEA 686 | HHJ

Part one of the CSC series. You can find this series’ masterpost here. This can be read as a stand-alone, but you may have questions that will be answered in future installations. Keep in mind this is the intro.

There are three things you hate more than anything: 1. Your english Lit. professor, 2. Frat parties, and last but most definitely not least, 3. CollegeSluts.com and their founders. There are three things Hyunjin hates more than anything: 1. College, 2. Back alley blowjobs, and 3. The frustrating desire to fuck you silly.

PAIRING: hyunjin x f!reader

GENRE: enemies to lovers; smut; crack; angst; college au

WC: 17k…. fear me! (also broke my record!!)

WARNINGS: reader is going through it and will continue to go through it. there’s no development for them at all in this installment i apologize (😭) reader calls skz sex-crazed demons, she’s very confused but not irrational, there’s not many warnings besides for the smut— profanity, alcohol consumption, mentions of alcoholism, annoying characters, insanely inexperienced reader, bet making, one-sided hatred, hyunjin wants to figure you out & thank god for that otherwise this series wouldn’t exist, sexual tension bottled up as hate bc yn is stupid. virgin/corruption kink, loss of virginity, overstimulation, dirty talking, unprotected sex…, creampie, fingering, pussy eating, teasing, breast play, and i think that’s it…

A/N: hi angels, i finished this in three days somehow and even though i didn’t plan on this being my post for 400, we hit it recently so this is it! and it’s fitting since a lot of people are waiting for this series <3 I hope you enjoy the first installment, feel free to share your thoughts in the comments, my ask box, or in a reblog! & lmk if you want to be added to the taglist for this fic or my permanent one which is linked below! i hate writing the introduction to a fic and if you feel like this entire one-shot is pointless i promise it’s not 😭 there’s a lot of drama to come soon but i had to establish some things first!

i managed to make a playlist for this series! please enjoy 👩🏾‍💻

mlist; taglist; navi; | ⇦ previous | next ⇨

There are three things you hate more than anything.

Your english lit. professor

Frat parties

last, but most definitely not least, collegesluts. com and it’s founders.

It’s the literal bane of your existence, the reason why it’s so hard for you to sleep at night, and the one thing that makes your skin itch even more than the fuzzy sweaters your grandma knits every winter season.

Maybe if the creator of the site wasn’t such a douchebag, and maybe if the site users weren’t even worse, you wouldn’t abhor it as much as you did. But that’s a lot of maybes— ones that create a reality much different than your own and don’t make you feel much better.

You were first introduced to the hellsite in your second year of college— only made a year before. After you found out, age twenty hanging high over your head and no longer a fresh face in the school system, you’d tried and failed to get it shut down. Multiple times.

Happy, carefree people, would just ignore its existence— get on with their life, allow people to be college sluts in peace, but you couldn’t do that. Only you saw it for what it was, right? A sex site for college-goers to ruin their lives before it even started. Everyone else was too blissed out, a hand shoved in their pants every night as they watched their classmates fuck each other without fail. Only you could really see—

“Hello, can you hear!?”

Your eyebrows furrow at the voice behind you and your shoulders tighten when a finger pokes harshly at your skin.

“What?” You groan, rubbing the section of your arm that was unjustly abused. “Can you just be nice like a normal person?”

“Well, you’re an asshole so why would I be nice to you?”

“Fuck off Seungmin. What do you want?”

The only thing that betrays the fact that he heard you at all is the laugh that echoes behind you. Your chest tightens in response, and you fold your arms over your chest.

Kim Seungmin. A close fourth on your list of things you hate more than anything else. He was one of the users on the-site-that-must-not-be-named. A platinum member actually, a fact that always made your skin burn even in the coldest of weather. He was even friends with the site creators, and you wouldn’t doubt he had a hand in making it completely. He’d never been shy in supporting his use of the site, because nowadays regular cam sites were somehow uncool. He even had shirts with the college sluts logo in big, bold, letters. He was a part of one of the things you couldn’t stand. A big part of it even, but you ignored all that so you could call him your best— and one of your only— friends.

Kim Seungmin is first on the things you love, and that automatically removes him from the list of things you hate. When an arm slings itself across your shoulders you barely react, simply steering you both in the direction of your first class. It’s too early to deal with your best friend, and especially his toothy remarks and sarcasm, but you don’t say so and simply allow him to talk your ear off while you concern yourself with more important things.

Things like Hwang Hyunjin and Christopher Bang. The admins of College Sluts and the cause of the twitch in your brow. Sometimes the amount of hatred you felt for the two amazed you. To others, they were college boys— hotter than most, smart, talented, promiscuous. They had a good personality, a future, and were people a lot of other people got along with (and their other friends but you won’t get into that lest you pop a vessel).

To you, it’s agree to disagree. In short, they’ve got everyone totally fooled. Only sex-crazed low lifes actually managed to create a porn site. It’s one thing to think of it, sprawled around their dorm rooms knocked off their ass and barely sober, but it’s another thing to actually do it— work hard on it, execute such ideas— it’s completely baffling to you. How can no one see how perverted that is? You don’t even know what to call it, but the fire that erupts in your gut is enough to tell you that it’s bad.

There’s a bunch of girls and guys crowding around them, laughing and hugging and touching. Touching as if they were in the privacy of their home and not outside where others could see. It makes your chest heat up, and makes weird maggots swallow up your stomach, leaving a tingly feeling in its wake. You hate it. They’re demons. Sex-crazed demons.

“God, I’m starting to think you’re like anti-sex or something.”

You grunt.

“Literally we’re just walking by and you look like you’re contemplating murder.”

You hum.

“Jesus,” Seungmin sighs, shaking his head before waving over at his friends. More like his sinner acquaintances. Don’t get it wrong, you’re not overly religious or particularly shameful— despite how you might seem— but it’s something about that entire group (Seungmin sometimes included) that makes you feel like breaking something. Choking something? Crying? Screaming? You’re not sure anymore.

When you catch Hyunjin’s eye he smirks and you frown. Just the sight of him is enough to make your head hurt and your knees weak. At least, that makes sense to you. The rest of the student body? Not so much.

You hoist your bag up on your shoulder and tear your gaze away from him. Your building isn’t much farther and if you squint really hard you can pretend you don’t see Hyunjin approaching from the corner of your eye. It’s a hot day and when he sidles up to you, shoulders almost touching, it gets much hotter.

“Hey,” he greets, slapping palms with Seungmin and holding one down low for you. Your hand hesitates, almost greeting him in return before you slap his arm and send a glare his way.

“Bye,” you grit, turning your head away from him and grabbing at Seungmin’s arm. “I have somewhere to be.”

“Loosen up!” He calls, his long legs easily catching up to your fast pace. “I just wanted to say hi to my favorite girl.”

Your breath stutters the tiniest bit but you ignore it, not bothering to grant that remark an answer. Hyunjin is flirty. Too flirty. Stupid flirty. The kind of flirty that gets girls like you all riled up even when you’re supposed to be hating him, even when you’re supposed to curse the very ground he walks on, and it just makes the dreadful maggots in your system start up their annoying fluttering.

Seungmin doesn’t say anything, even when your grip on his arm tightens at a painful rate. You will your heart to stop beating so damn hard and for your entire body to stop reacting so easily to him. You don’t even know him so why does he hold so much influence over you? Someone like him? Someone who spends their time and their intelligence on a haphazard college porn site? No. No way.

“What do you want, Hyunjin?”

The devil with the long brown hair, and soft cheeks, and cute dimples takes the chance to lean close to your ear, making sure you hear whatever it is he has to say.

“Don’t be too mad at me, bug. I just wanted to tell you that you look gorgeous today.” Hyunjin pats your cheek, smiling before he leans away, turning back the way he came.

“See you later.”

And that’s that. The sex demon comes to set your cheeks ablaze and leaves once he’s done, letting you deal with your muddled feelings on your own. Once you start walking again, ignoring the stare boring into your cheeks and the confusing pounding of your heart, there’s only three words on your mind.

Fuck Hwang Hyunjin.

There are three things Hyunjin hates more than anything:

1. College

2. Back alley blowjobs

3. The frustratingly clear desire he has to fuck you silly.

Hyunjin isn’t sure when he realized it exactly. He doesn’t even know why he reacts to you so strongly. If you were anyone else he probably wouldn’t give you a second glance. He’s sure of it. Maybe it’s the desire to want something you can’t have, or the fact that you aren’t groveling at his feet.

It’s not like Hyunjin has any idea of why exactly you’re so hellbent on hating his guts, nor does he really care all that much. So you don’t like College Sluts, that’s your right as is anyone else’s, but it’s not like he’s shoving the damn shit in your face. He minds his business, manages his porn site, and does it all with a smile on his face. You, though? It’s a miracle he’s seen you smile once. And that was when he wasn’t paying attention and knocked into someone carrying a full tray of food.

Chan laughs at him all the time and so does Minho, wondering if he has some weird kink for wanting people who clearly don’t want him back, but more and more he’s thinking that isn’t the case. He’s always been bold, always been a bit flirty even when he wasn’t trying, and he knows he’s easy on the eyes. It’s not a secret, but your reaction to him isn’t one of disdain or clear attraction, but rather confusion, and that confuses him.

He flips the mic in his hands, switching between cradling it and flinging it every which way. The speakers of the karaoke system effectively drag him from his thoughts as the music gets louder and Jisung spins Felix around on their makeshift stage. Whoops and hollers echo from around them, the rest of their friends cheering at the performance in front of them. Hyunjin can’t bring himself to laugh even as a smile threatens to take hold of his features.

“Yo, what’s up with you?” Jisung plops down beside him, slinging an arm around Hyunjin's shoulders as puffs of breath leave his lips. “You’ve been sitting here brooding. What’s going on?”

“I don’t brood,” Hyunjin argues, though he maneuvers his body so he can tell Jisung exactly what has him brooding. “It’s just— I’m still thinking about Y/n.”

“Bro.”

“It doesn’t seem weird to you?”

“Weird that she’s just not interested? This is a new low, Hyunjin. Not everyone is gonna be attracted to you—”

“I know, but that’s not what I’m saying. Doesn’t her whole attitude towards us seem a bit excessive? All over a website.”

“It’s not your typical website.”

“Sung, it’s probably one of the safest porn sites out there because of how exclusive it is. No one but students here can get on it.”

“Does she know that?”

“That’s my point,” Hyunjin sighs, running a hand through his hair before starting again. “If she doesn’t even know the full details of the site, how can she possibly hate it? Hate us?”

Jisung pauses, looking back towards the stage. It’s true that all eight of them have thought about this at least once. They know there’s people who hate the website, who steer clear of it in all instances, but none who have made petitions and gone to the superintendent requesting an audience about it. No one who’s actively been so hateful to them specifically, refusing to look in their direction unless it’s to send a glare their way.

“Maybe there's another reason?” Jisung offers, sending Hyunjin a sideways glance. “I mean, maybe she just hates porn.”

Hyunjin snorts at that. How can anyone hate porn?

“You’re laughing but I’m dead serious. Has she ever even had a partner?”

“How the fuck would I know?”

“You think about her 24/7. I wouldn't be surprised if you knew what she ate for breakfast.”

“Not fucking funny.”

Jisung barks out a laugh, falling over into Hyunjin’s space. “Don’t worry, you’ll get over it soon.”

Hyunjin isn’t so sure but he nods anyway, allowing Jisung to go back to the stage for the next song. Hyunjin knocks back his drink, throat constricting barely at the bitter taste. He doesn’t care. He really doesn’t, but there’s something weird about your behavior and he’s more than determined to figure it out. Maybe he needs to just mind his business but fuck that, he thinks, no one is gonna hate him for no reason. Maybe he’s a little too riled up at that, maybe Jisung is right and this is a new low. Maybe he just really can’t deal with rejection well. Maybe.

Minho’s screeching into the mic does it’s hardest to ruin Hyunjin’s night, but the way the rest of his friends tackle him and attempt to steal the mic just makes him laugh, leaving a warm feeling in his chest. This is all he needs— his friends and a good drink to put a smile on his face. And the college porn site he worked very hard on, of course.

The group only gets through a few more songs before they decide to leave, deciding to ignore the fact that some of them have classes in six hours or that they’ll be nursing a bad headache for the entirety of it. Hyunjin is one of them. He laughs along with his friends as they walk, and he watches them from where he stands in the back.

Jisung has his phone out and is making a concerned face, typing furiously on the device. Either they’re having technical issues or his girlfriend is getting on his ass once again. Minho has an arm slung around his shoulders, laughing at whatever it is he’s typing and whoever it is that’s typing back. Next to them Felix and Jeongin have joined hands and Felix swings them back and forth, giggling as he does. Jeongin pretends he doesn’t like it, like usual, but Hyunjin notices the hint of a smile on his face. He always notices.

Chan and Changbin are quiet on either side of him, walking in the tranquil quiet that’s always rare for their group. It feels incomplete— Hyunjin wishes Seungmin could’ve come. He doesn’t know how the boy manages to be friends with the creators of the CSC and also be friends with its #1 hater. Maybe he’s selling secrets, telling you everything about the site, all its loopholes and glitches. Maybe he’s working against them now, coming up with a plan to shut them down once and for all, though Hyunjin doesn’t know if that’s possible.

Right after those thoughts trickle into his mind, he thinks about Seungmin wearing the handmade “merch” for the site, and doesn’t entertain them any longer. It would be ridiculous— even for him— to think that someone who repped college sluts like it was their brand would ever work even harder to tear it away.

The knot in his throat that’s been squeezing at his airways since earlier that night relaxes just a little. He’s never actually said this to anyone, but just as much as he thinks about why you hate him, he thinks about whether Seungmin will hate him too; about if he’ll lose a friend due to reasons he’s not even sure of. As much as he thinks about why you hate him so badly, he thinks about why he doesn’t hate you right back. He wonders why he— instead of wanting nothing to do with you— wants to know everything about you. Why he wants to understand you when you’ve made no effort to understand him, or worse, made up your own mind about who he is without even attempting to entertain the idea that maybe you’re wrong.

Hyunjin has lived his whole life suffering from other people's ideas of him, from their expectations that they held with no prior consultation with him, from the perfect picture of him in their minds that didn’t correlate with the real Hyunjin. He’s had his fair share of wondering, thinking, wanting. And it’s disappointing to see how even after all this time, since childhood, nothing has changed. He’s always wanted what he’s not allowed to have, but it’s not for lack of trying.

They don’t arrive at their frat house quick enough. As soon as the door opens into the building Hyunjin feels like falling asleep on the couch. It wouldn’t be the first time, but he’s also not sure what last happened on that couch. Between spilled drinks and sex that was too rushed to even make it to a bedroom he’d rather take his chances on an actual bed. Chan doesn’t bother to turn the lights on when he comes in, and the seven of them shuffle around each other, spilling into the living room or into the kitchen to grab drinks and snacks as if they didn’t just come back from eating.

Hyunjin knows he’s been distant all night but he can’t be bothered to care as he sends a quick good night his friends’ way and makes his way upstairs. The house holds eight other boys besides them and he’s surprised none of them are downstairs or hanging around even at the late hour. Though, Hyunjin reasons, most of them have girlfriends and the few others that don’t are seniors and probably pull all-nighters in the library or some shit.

Hyunjin doesn’t want to think about that. The year only started back up again a few months ago, he doesn’t need to be thinking about work anymore than he already does. He makes a good living even without a real job, so he’s taking shit day by day. It’s not like anyone else is much different. Most of his seniors are cramming because they were so carefree. Hyunjin doesn’t think about the implications of that either.

The softness of his bed is long overdue and his body sinks into the plush bedding. He strips off his shirt and pants, not bothering to make his way to a shower or put pajamas on or do anything really. He has five hours before he needs to wake back up and this is nothing if not a power nap that won’t help him get through any lectures the next day. Or, later that day rather.

Hyunjin doesn’t concern himself with that though, because there’s only one thing that’s on his mind when he falls asleep and when he wakes up, and that’s what he’s going to say to you tomorrow morning in the first class of the day.

The first thing you manage to think of when you wake up is how best you’re going to ignore Hyunjin today. You’ve been brainstorming, wondering which response will humble him the best, maybe make him speechless for long enough that you can get away. If only those getaways could last forever, you sigh, pulling a fitted tee over your head. It’s low-cut, makes your cleavage pop just a little bit more, and you add a necklace for that exact reason.

You’re not the sex-crazed demon that the CSC most definitely are, but you do like a little attention every now and again even if you don’t get that much action. Or any, really, and you’re just fine with that. It’s one of the reasons why you don’t like the CSC. There’s no reason to sexify everything, and that’s exactly what they do. People can get by just fine without it.

Just fine? Seungmin would probably jab, but he’s not here right now and he doesn’t know what he’s talking about. You are just fine, but the mention of the-site-that-must-not-be-named just fills your stomach with stones and ignites your nerves like nothing else does. To you, that’s more than enough proof that it’s the CSC’s fault— not yours.

Anyway, today is the day you have to see Hyunjin bright and early, which always manages to set your day off to a bad start. No one should have to deal with him at this time of day, or any time of day, and you pity the ones that do. Seeing Chan isn’t rare, but he doesn’t talk to you like Hyunjin does. He stares every now and again, gives you a lazy smirk, and is generally sexy as much as it pains you to admit it, but he doesn’t bother you. Though you know he probably talks about you. His stares are too knowing, way too insightful even when you don’t really know each other.

The rest of the boys you’ve talked to on a few occasions. They aren’t as insufferable, but they are associated with Hyunjin and Chan and are, in fact, involved in the upkeep of the-site-that-must-not-be-named. To you, that’s more than enough reason to at the least dislike them. You don’t hold soft spots for any of them, except maybe Felix who seems way too sweet to be a sex demon, but then again, it’s always the nice ones.

Besides, it doesn’t matter what they say to you or don’t say, or if they look at you or not, or if they even know you exist. It really doesn’t matter. You shake the thoughts from your head vigorously, ashamed at the fact that you spent the first hour of your morning on them. It’s unbecoming of you. It’s good to remind yourself not to actively concern yourself with any of them, and simply fight for the site’s demolition like you’ve been doing.

Seungmin says you have no life, but Seungmin also wears T-shirts with cartoonish, glittery pink boobs and the site’s name in glittery cursive letters. You don’t think Seungmin should have an opinion.

The last time you attempted to do anything about the site was roughly two months ago, a month after school started back. You took your time to settle in, fall into a routine, and get your work and classes in order before resuming your mission. It was arduous, brainstorming and juggling school work, but it was your responsibility since no one else would work hard enough.

A quick shuffle through any of your things would tell people you were a perfectionist— articulate in your placement of items and the way you did things. Even taking the time to plan certain outings to a T, determined to make sure everything goes well. It’s not a secret how obsessive you get over things and how uncomfortable or incomplete you feel when things don’t go your way, when you have to follow someone else’s idea of how things should work. It’s the reason why most people don’t get along with you because to them you’re too controlling, too compulsive and dominating.

When you were a child that fact had bothered you. It was confusing— that was just your nature, and you wouldn’t have survived your childhood without it based on the way your parents lived. When kids would shun you, treat you like something sticky at the bottom of their shoe, it hurt your young heart. You felt apologetic simply for acting the way you always felt like you should act, for doing the things that left you satisfied after. Now, in college, no one demands classmates to get along, no one can shun you in the cafeteria and force you to eat in the library. If they don’t like you it’s fine with you, frankly it doesn’t matter. You have one goal and one goal only, and once that’s over with you can move on.

When you step out of your dorm the sun is blinding, shining down with unforgiving rays of light. All you can do is squint, tilt your head down a little and wish you had a hat. The walk to the Art’s building is long, but feels longer with how warm it is. The heat shimmies its way under your clothes and into your skin, from the top of your head to the tip of your toes.

The scenery on the walk there is always breathtaking though, the pavement that makes up the pathway to the building is closed in by blades of grass that have been cut and trimmed to perfection. Rocks make up the border between them— large smooth stones that vary in size but are more or less the same oval shape. There’s an entire garden full of all types of flowers, Gardenias, Lilies, Irises, Tulips, and even some you can’t name. At the entrance of the building there are bright lights that illuminate at least 25 feet in front of it at night, and wide hedges that have been designed to look like swans, their necks curved in a way that if they were moved next to each other they’d be forming a heart. White flowers grow inside the hedges serving to make the entire scene look more beautiful, and as much as you hate walking there, the view is unmatched.

The Art building has always been your safe haven, Art in general being your home away from home. It took a long time for you to feel comfortable studying it— always caught up in the what if. What if you can’t make a living from it? What if you end up not liking it as you grow older? What if it’s not a sustainable career? Questions that still plague you often, and stop you from putting as much of your heart in it as you’d wish. These classes are somewhat self-indulgent. A way for you to escape from the hectic mess that is your life, away from the stress of work, from the anxiety of what comes next, and from the infuriating instances that continue without your control— away from the things you can’t control so you can run to things you can. So imagine your horror when you found out Hwang Hyunjin was in the same class as you. At the same time. Doing the same thing.

It felt like your escape wasn’t yours anymore, and that the stress from your day followed you everywhere you went. It wasn’t enough for Hyunjin to pester you often— he had to be everywhere you were too.

You take a deep breath to calm your nerves, setting your shoulders and regain the poise you take pride in– carrying yourself with the confidence you wish you had. It doesn’t take long for you to make your way to the entrance of the building, as you walk, having been kissed by the scorching light of the sun and brushed against by dewy blades of grass. It feels surreal and staggering to be outside alone so early in the morning, yet peaceful, for you know that it will be long before you get this chance again.

“Bug!”

Oh no. no no no. You walk faster, hoping to make it inside before Hyunjin can catch up to you. Hyunjin is never this early. He either comes right on time or late to the frustration of your teachers and peers although no one would ever say it to his face. You can hear his feet against the pavement louder and louder as he comes closer to you, catching up just when you take the first step up the stairs to the entrance.

“You didn’t hear me, bug?”

“Stop calling me bug.”

“Sorry, bug,” Hyunjin laughs, putting a heavy arm over your shoulders and bringing you closer.

You roll your eyes so hard it feels like they’re gonna stick. Maybe they should so you don’t ever have to see Hyunjin again. Maybe he’d think you look scary like that, your eyes rolled up forever. Maybe then he’d leave you alone.

Hyunjin is annoying. He always acts like you’re his friend, but you know it’s fake because why would he want to be friends with you, someone who hates everything he works hard on and hates him as well to an extent. It seems overly fake and forced to you, so you don’t ever entertain it. The last thing you need is to fall for it and then be made out to look like an idiot when he eventually embarrasses you.

“It’s too early.”

“It’s never too early, pretty.”

“It’s always too early to be dealing with you,” You groan, wrenching his arm away from where it laid over your shoulders. “Why are you talking to me?”

“Why not?” Hyunjin asks, seemingly unaffected by your attitude towards him. He shoves his hands in his pockets, his shoulders raised up to his chin in a shrug. “I like talking to you.”

You snort, looking up at him with eyebrows raised, “You like talking to me, the one person— possibly in this world— who absolutely hates you, and barely spares you the time of day?” You ask, tilting your head in mock confusion. “I’m sure this is the longest we’ve ever had a conversation, but nice try.” You squeeze his cheeks, hard, and when he swats your hand away you can’t help the giggle that you let out. If his cheeks felt like dough under your fingers you’re choosing to ignore that, wiping a hand on your jeans with way more intensity than needed.

“But see,” Hyunjin starts again, “We’re having a conversation right now and neither of us wanna choke each other.”

“Speak for yourself. I’m barely resisting the urge to punt your head like a baseball.”

It’s silent for a moment before you both burst out into a fit of giggles. Hyunjin braces himself against his knees as he laughs, his hair falling over his face as he does, and you’re not much better— staggering where you stand to laugh with him. It only takes a few seconds for you both to calm down, and slowly the reality of what happened catches up to you.

“Do you even punt baseballs?” Hyunjin snorts, and you just laugh harder.

“I don’t know, Hyunjin, if you haven’t noticed I’m at the arts building not sports.” You wheeze, fighting through another laugh. “Now I’m just imagining your head flying over the gardens.”

Hyunjin lets out another chuckle but shivers a bit at the thought. He waits for you to calm down, your giggles turning into small huffs. A hint of a smile still remains on your cheeks, and the sun shines down so strongly on your features it feels like he’s seeing an angel— like divinity right in front of his eyes. When you straighten up, he can see every movement. The way you position your bag upright, the way a bit of your gums poke out from your lips. Your lips, soft, glossy, and look the most perfect in a smile. He can see the way your eyebrows lose the tension from your laughing fit, the way the crinkle of your eyes lessen as your face relaxes. He can see everything, so he can also see when your lips fall back into a firm line, when your eyebrows go back to that angry stance they always hold when you’re around him. The way your shoulders stiffen, and the grip on your bag tightens. He can see everything, and he reminds himself the only time you laugh is when he’s the butt of the joke.

“I’m going to class,” You murmur, walking the rest of the way up the stairs and into the building without looking back or waiting for him to respond. Though Hyunjin wonders what he would’ve even said.

I’ll come with you.

We can sit together.

No, you both can’t do anything together, and more and more Hyunjin wonders why he even wants to.

“You were laughing with Hwang Hyunjin? The sex demon??” Your friend hisses from next to you, stringing a lock of hair behind her ear. “You?”

“Yes, me, Jieun.” You huff. “I can barely believe it either. What did he do to me? I hate him, I can’t show weakness by laughing around him.”

“Honey,” Jieun laughs, leaning towards you, “You can laugh. Honestly the fact that you ran away after is hilarious.”

“I didn’t run away.”

“You ran away.”

“I didn’t run.”

Jieun settles on you with a heavy stare, face slack, and you roll your eyes. “Fine, I walked away.”

“I don’t know how either of you take each other seriously.”

“I don’t take him seriously.”

“Yeah you do, babe. You refuse to laugh around him. That’s very serious.”

You snort.

“And the fact that he gives you the time of day when this is the dumbest feud possible… I just don’t understand it.”

“It’s not dumb.” You sputter, smoothing your hand over the glossy wooden desk of the classroom. “It’s…” You trail off, staring into the large windows at the side of the room. You cock your head and lean forward, jaw slack when the sex demon himself waves outside. “Oh what a stalker.” You growl, throwing up the middle finger in his direction. “He’s got his little posse following him too.”

When Jieun makes to wave back you smack the back of her head and groan when she gives you an affronted look.

“What was that for?” Jieun exclaims, bringing a hand up to rub against the back of her head.

“Don’t fraternize with the enemy,” You hiss, folding your arms over your chest and staring back at your professor.

“Are you gonna explain the feud—”

“No.”

In your opinion, class doesn’t end quickly enough. You split with Jieun at the entrance, the both of you going in opposite directions, and attempt to reorder your frazzled mind. So you laughed. A lot of people laugh at people they hate. Plus, he laughed too— so why should you be overthinking it? You’ve laughed before, in situations you weren’t supposed to, and this is no different. Now you just need to make sure it never happens again. You nod to yourself as you walk, pulling out your phone to make sure Seungmin is already at the meeting spot.

The sun is still just as ruthless as it was earlier, but a light breeze grazes your skin and rustles the trees along the sidewalk and in the field in front of you. There’s a bunch of picnic tables, some occupied and some of them not. There’s groups of friends sitting under trees, some couples, some of them alone; reading or completing assignments in the nice weather. You spot Seungmin a few tables down, a brown sweater over a collared shirt and cute glasses perched upon his nose.

You take your time walking to the table, letting your skin soak in the warmth and tranquil peace of nature. When Seungmin spots you he shuffles over, giving you some space to sit next to him and you do, mumbling a small hey before knocking your head against the table.

“You’re going to a party with me.”

“No, I’m not.”

“Yes, you are.”

“Seungmin… Hi, how are you? How was your day? No, I’m not.”

“I wasn’t asking.”

“Well, unless you’re going to drag me, no I’m not.”

“I just might,” Seungmin sighs, “Why are you so difficult?”

“Difficult? You’re the one being difficult. I don’t want to go and you’re telling me it’s not a choice.”

“Because it’s not.”

You let out a groan, a long torturous one that has people turning their head to a straight faced Seungmin and you who’s head is still knocked against the table. When people think it’s stopped it starts all over again, a guttural groan filled with displeasure and frustration that loosens your chest when it’s done.

“Are you done?”

“Leave me alone.”

“It’s on Saturday. I can pick you up.” Seungmin says instead of arguing.

“Today’s Thursday.” You whine, just stopping yourself from letting out another groan— one that wouldn’t ever stop for as long as you have to deal with Kim Seungmin and his annoying, snarky, bossy self.

“…. I’m aware.” Seungmin says, and you don’t even have to look at him to know he’s making a face like and so what?

“I can’t stand you, I hope you know that. No type of warning, no preparation… I don’t party. I need at least two weeks to mentally prepare myself and another two weeks to get an outfit.”

“Damn.” Seungmin says, but he rubs a hand against your back, lightly pushing you to lift your head from the table. “Listen, I’ll help you. And it’s being thrown by people I know so you don’t have to worry. I don’t think many people throw college parties a month in advance but I’ll keep that in mind.”

All you can do is nod, waiting patiently as Seungmin finishes whatever assignment he’s working on. You’ve already completed the ones you have, the pro of not having much else to do and being on top of things always. Everyday you both meet up here, either at a table or under one of the trees and talk. Read, finish assignments, or even eat snacks. There have been some times where you meet there and then go somewhere else together, rarely off campus but it happens, and you get something to eat or go on a mini adventure. It’s the highlight of your day and you’re sure it is for Seungmin too, but you’d never admit that to each other. You don’t have to, though, because you’re both always on the same wavelength especially when it counts the most.

Though now he’s given you something else to worry about, that being this sudden party. It’s no doubt being held by a frat house, and you have an inkling which house it is. You haven’t asked, trying not to pop the bubble of secureness that surrounds you. You can go to a party being held by the CSC. You can, and you will, and if it isn’t being held by them then that’s even better. You try to convince yourself you really don’t care at all, but the thought remains. Can you really enjoy yourself at a party being held by them? You don’t know why it bothers you so much or why you feel so uncomfortable having a good time around them, but you just keep repeating the same thing to yourself over and over. It doesn’t matter.

“Jieun told me what happened this morning.”

“Of course she did.” You sigh, staring ahead at the group of squirrels running up a tree. The people under it startle when leaves start to fall over their heads. “We just left each other, how did she find the time to text you all that?”

“She called me,” Seungmin cackles, braces on full display as he scribbles furiously into his notebook. “Every story I hear about you and Hyunjin is against my will.”

“Every interaction between me and Hyunjin is against my will,” You counter, shifting so that you face him. “What did she say?”

“That you laughed with him and it embarrassed you. That you’re confused about your feelings towards him.”

“So are you two my therapists now? I’m not confused. I don’t like the things he does— I don’t like his carefree attitude, how he has no problem talking to me like we’re friends. I don’t like- No, I hate the fact that so many people fucking praise him because he created some crude porn site.”

Your heart rate picks up, your hand gripping at your jeans as a poor attempt to conceal your growing frustration. “I don’t like the fact that no one else sees what’s wrong with it. We shouldn’t have a fucking porn site for college students? I don’t think we should know what we all look like under our clothes and I’m tired of everyone acting like I'm the crazy one. He’s the perverted one, the weird one. Who the fuck thinks of something like that? It’s not just him, it’s all of them.”

Seungmin ponders your words, the grip on his pen tightening ever so slightly. “Hyunjin is a good guy. All of them are, and if that’s how you feel then why do you talk to me? I use the site, I'm their friend, I’ve helped them out when making it. Aren’t I weird and perverted too?”

You sigh, “Seungmin…”

“Help me understand. Because if you can stand to be around me, then why can’t you be around them? Or try.”

“It isn’t the same and you know it. It’s easy to ignore it when it’s you. That’s them. They are the CSC to me. A reminder of everything I hate, what I want to get rid of.”

“But why the hell does it matter? People want to use the site and that’s why they do. No one is fucking forcing it.”

“You guys just don’t understand it. None of you do. It’s like you’re blinded by it or something.”

“We’re grown adults, Y/N,” Seungmin growls, “We don’t need you to be a guardian fucking angel.”

“Don’t make me out to be the bad guy, just because all you fucking care about is sex or some college sluts, like can you actually be that shallow?”

“Why is it so hard for you to see reason? Do you see how angry you’re getting at me for asking a simple question? You asked me what Jieun said and I told you.” Seungmin spits, shutting his book with a slam.

“Stop asking me about that site. Stop making me seem like some confused hateful person just because you’re too dense to understand where I’m coming from. I’m not confused, I know exactly how I feel. I try not to bring it up because you like the damn thing so much, and you can’t seem to hold the same courtesy for me.” You stand from the seat, settling a dark glare at Seungmin’s angered form.

“Fuck your friends, fuck that site. Stop talking about me like I need guidance.”

You’re not irrational. You’re not. You have every right to be angry. Seungmin is your friend. Jieun is your friend. They’re supposed to be there for you, not gang up on you. You feel alone, so alone in everything you fight for, in everything you aim to conquer— as if the things you stand for don’t matter. It reminds you of middle school all over again, of high school— having people look at you like you were something from another planet. Someone people had always failed to understand. It’s lonely. You’re not irrational.

You didn’t blow up. You’re not angry. You’re frustrated, yes, but you don’t blow up. You don’t get mad. You aren’t irrational. Anyone else in your position would feel the same, right? Anyone else would be upset because it feels like your friends always take the side of the people you despise more than anyone else. Why aren’t they on your side? Why don’t they believe you? Why don’t they understand? It makes you feel stupid. It makes you feel like you have no right to feel the way you do. It’s lonely.

You’ve never been irrational. You’ve always had a good grip on your feelings. Always. And when it feels like the grip loosens it’s always the cause of something relating to the CSC. It’s proof that it’s what the root of your problems is. It’s proof that the CSC needs to be gone so you can finally go back to normal. So you don’t feel like the odd one out. So you don’t have to feel so upset. Because you’re not irrational. You have every right to feel this way. You don’t get mad. You’re not angry. You don’t blow up.

You control everything, you control your actions, your emotions, and you make sure to hold control over your environment— of how things play out for every second of your life. This feels like it’s running out of control. That the CSC brings havoc in your life no matter what— even when you try to ignore it, it comes running back to fuck you over even further. You’re not irrational. You’re not confused. You don’t get mad. You don’t. You don’t blow up. You control everything.

The sun hides right when you need it. You pretend tears don’t blur your vision, you pretend that the suddenly gloomy environment doesn’t affect you the way it does. You pretend that the once comforting breeze doesn’t feel sharp against your exposed skin. You pretend because when things run out of control that’s all you can do. Pretend you’ve got it handled, pretend that you still have a grip on things, pretend that you understand. You’re not irrational. You have every right to feel this way.

You never argue with Seungmin. Playful bickering from time to time or you two being rude to each other but always playfully. You’ve never cursed at him so maliciously, spoken to him like he was someone random, as if he wasn’t your best friend. You’ve never done those things— but you do when the CSC is involved. You never get pissed at Jieun, even when she’s annoying, even when she acts like the only thing important in life is the new boy she’s talking to— You don’t get mad. You’re not mad now, but you’re something. Something fiery, and everything always goes back to the CSC. You’re not irrational. You’re just the only one who understands.

Right when you see the blurry form of your dorm building it gets blocked by a large body and you slam right into its chest. You can barely see in front of you and you know your face is screwed up into the worst form imaginable, tears falling with no control. Without your control.

“Sorry, excuse me,” You laugh wetly, sidestepping whoever is blocking your way and running up the steps to your dorm. The sooner you fall into your bed and cry this out, the sooner you can forget about it. The sooner you can apologize and move past this weird limbo of feelings. It feels like purgatory, stuck in the in between, not sure which direction you’ll end up going in. It’s full of unsureness, of frustration. It feels like a loss of control. It angers you, makes you feel like nothing is going right.

But you don’t get angry. You’re not irrational. You don’t get mad. You pretend, because that’s all you can do.

Hyunjin is confused.

The last thing he expected to see this morning was you laughing, but now, he realizes the last thing he ever expected to see was you crying. Eyes glossy with tears, a nose rubbed raw, face screwed up into something pitiful.

Hyunjin doesn’t know a lot of things. He doesn’t expect a lot of things, but most of all he doesn’t know how to continue after seeing it. He doesn’t expect to care so much, not after the way you’ve regarded him. After the way you’ve both regarded each other. He doesn’t know why he can’t walk away and say nothing when he knows he should. If he brings it up you’ll get defensive, be embarrassed, be angry. He shouldn’t say anything.

He keeps walking, frowning slightly at the gloomy clouds. It was so sunny less than an hour ago. Things change so quickly, it doesn’t make any sense. He thinks back to earlier that morning, the light that shone on your face with every laugh you let out. He thinks back to just a few seconds ago. How dark shadows fell over your face as tears ran down your cheeks.

The walk is more automatic than anything else. He doesn’t take the time to stare at the scenery, he doesn’t look at the people around him. He barely sees the ground in front of him as he walks, his mind not registering what’s right in front of his face. He’s too caught up in you. Like usual, wondering why you do the things you do, why you feel the way you feel, wanting to understand. What did he do? What can he do to make you feel better? How can he make you hate him any less? He wants to understand, he wants to listen, to talk to you, to be near you. It confuses him.

His phone vibrates, pulling him from his thoughts. It’s chan, texting about the party on Saturday, and he sighs, running a hand through his hair in frustration. He’s so tired, tired of running around for parties, tired of attending to the site, tired of waking up early for classes. He just wants a second to sit down and relax, to not worry about you ruining the one thing he’s worked hard for, to not worry about what class he’s flunking, about what party he’s expected to attend, to not worry about why you were crying in the middle of the afternoon. He just wants a moment to collect his thoughts and free his mind.

HJ: I got it

BC: alr cool, put it in the cabinet with the lock, you know how Hyunjoon gets

HJ: Fuck, is it that bad?

BC: he’s an alcoholic bud, it’s that bad.

Hyunjin laughs a little, stuffing his phone back into his pocket. He wonders if Seungmin told you about the party yet and grimaces, wondering if that’s the reason why you were crying. If it is, he’s not sure who needs to get a grip. You, for hating him so bad, or him for continuing to try and get you not to. It takes a lot of effort for him to continue the power walk back to the frat, but he arrives sooner than later, stuffing the bag of drinks inside the cabinet and locking it shut. He thinks it’s a bit ridiculous that they have to lock the alcohol up as if they have small kids running around, and also wonders the effectiveness when Hyunjoon lives in a frat house and is an adult who can buy his own alcohol.

It’s Thursday afternoon but he finds that he’s not as excited for a party as he should be. Usually, he’d be bouncing on his heels, counting down the hours for it to start, and realizing he’s so caught up in everything else going around he doesn’t feel that normal excitement that he so often does. He makes sure to fix that, shaking the unnecessary thoughts from his head, pushing responsibilities to later. He has a party to prepare for and he's gonna act like it.

The rest of the boys don’t get back till later— they’d given Hyunjin the responsibility of buying cups and drinks and shitty snacks while they went off somewhere else. Hyunjin can’t keep track of what they do especially if he’s not joining, so he focuses on doing what he’s supposed to in order to make this the best party of the year so far. His frat has always held the record of best parties— has always held their winnings in high regard as well, and he’ll be damned if he gets the cold shoulder if he’s the reason the party isn’t as good as it should be. Most of all, he’s thinking about what he’s gonna do during it.

Hyunjin is not shy on having sex— never has been, never will be, and more often than not he’s having it. Sure, that may be expected since he made a literal porn site, but Jisung also had a hand in it and he has a girlfriend. Felix doesn’t have one-night stands often, nor does Seungmin. It’s different for all of them.

He knows there’s a few girls that have been actively trying to get in his pants, knows that he’s been trying to get into theirs, but he can only hope he can focus on them for long enough to do so without thinking about you. If you come, he knows that there’s no chance he’ll think of anything else, and he’ll probably spend the entire night just getting you to laugh again. To get you to explain to him why. why why why. It’s confusing, but he pretends it doesn’t matter.

Thursday comes and goes too quickly, and Friday does as well. The day isn’t over yet, it’s only the afternoon, but the implications of that make you anxious. Make your nerves ignite far more than they should.

Seungmin didn’t answer your calls for the rest of that Thursday. Didn’t read or respond to a single text until you decided to leave him alone. Jieun called, but you didn’t answer. You think the way you felt towards her is the way Seungmin felt towards you. Maybe something worse, so you gave him space and took some for yourself, a moment to really think about what made you react the way you did. You don’t think you’re in the wrong, you still don’t think you could’ve reacted any other way and you’re not sure what that says about you.

You take another bite of your sandwich as you walk down the street from the Art store, your phone cradled in your other hand and a drink poking out from the opening in your bag. It’s hard to mentally prepare for things that you don’t know anything about. You don’t know where the party is, who’s hosting it, how long you’re expected to stay. Thought that’s if you’re even still going. You want to take Seungmin’s silence as an answer that no, you aren’t, but you also don’t want to assume that and then he shows up at your door and you’re not ready.

You don’t want to go, not at all, but if it made Seungmin happy then you would. If he didn’t come to pick you up you briefly entertained finding your own way to the party and cornering him, forcing him to hear your apology before leaving and soaking your pillow with tears. But you don’t know where the party is. You also briefly entertained the idea of calling Jieun and asking her, but you’re not interested in the lecture that would come from that. You still don’t appreciate her words about you to Seungmin and the implication of them. Seungmin is your friend, you can tell him what happened all by yourself. You don't need Jieun to play messenger.

You swallow the last of your lunch and throw the wrapper in the nearest trash can. You want to start a new painting, one that can unleash the frustrations of your life as it is right now, and you can only do that by getting some new supplies. You save up constantly for this exact reason— for the ability to buy whatever your heart desires whenever it desires it. You dip your toes into whatever interests you, and all concepts of Art satisfies you more than anything. Writing whatever you desire, taking pictures of the things you find beautiful, painting whatever you want— it gives you the control that fuels you more than anything else.

The art shop by your university is quaint, always quiet and never very full, yet always filled with high quality supplies and fully stocked. You’ve made friends with the old lady who owns it and her daughter, constantly going there just to buy something in order to catch up with them on whatever has happened since your last visit. They’re like the mother and sister you never had, people who feel more like family than your own. It’s partly for that reason that you’ve made the trek there, hoping to get some advice for the things you’ve been feeling before going to the party that’s undoubtedly being held by the one group of people you despise.

The bells above the door jingle when you step in, and you let the smell of paint, chalk, crayons, pens, and faint air freshener soothe you. It’s just as cluttered as it’s always been— stacks upon stacks of sketchbooks and canvases on one side situated next to the easels and small desks. The paints have a section of their own, oil, watercolor, acrylic, matte, and more— on the opposite side there’s pens and crayons, colored pencils, oil pastels, and sharpeners of all shapes and sizes.

The walls are covered in paint as if before bringing in all the items they’d had fun splattering the walls in color. It’s messy, unruly, cluttered, and barely organized— so it doesn’t make sense to you why it comforts you so much. When you see a small form hobble out from behind a stack of books a smile forms unbiddenly on your face, and the small old lady smiles back.

“I missed you, dear,” She scolds, wrapping you up in a hug. “It’s been too long since you’ve come to visit.”

“I know, I’ve just been busy Ms. Yang. I missed you.” You sigh, rubbing your nose in the soft fabric of her sweater. She smells like paint and flowers— she smells like home.

“Sam will be here soon, she’d love to see you.”

“Yeah, that’d be nice. I need to talk to her too.”

“I can tell, child. You look stressed.” She sighs, shuffling behind the counter and sitting on one of the other seats behind it. “Get what you’re looking for,” She says waving a hand dismissively towards you.” I won’t make you explain it twice.”

You huff lightheartedly, making your way over to the canvases and picking one of medium proportions. You’re still not sure what it is you want to paint, but you know whatever you’re feeling is strong enough that you grab Oil paint, needing something rich and vibrant and something sharper to contrast the muddled and cloudy image of your mind.

It’s before long that you settle on a brand you normally buy, and the set of bells signal someone’s arrival into the shop. You turn your head, expecting to see Sam and her long curly hair, beautiful in its volume and her tawny brown skin, but instead you’re greeted with the sight of straight brown hair, swept behind the ears of a tall man, a mole under his eye and the reason for all your problems. You don’t know why you react the way you do, but with your items cradled in your hand you sprint behind a large stack of sketchbooks and hold your breath, staring with wide eyes at the cans of paint at your feet.

What the fuck is Hwang Hyunjin doing at your shop? This is your safe place— your safe haven. A part of you curses the ground he walks on, hopes that the store is too messy and cluttered for his liking, prays that he proves he’s as shallow as the company he keeps and that he leaves and doesn’t come back. Another part of you hates yourself for being so ridiculous. For letting your personal feelings about him delve so far that you’d think something like that. Sam and Mrs.Yang deserve the business, deserve the money, deserve the customers. You shouldn’t hope for anything different— but it still amazes you how he never fails to intrude on the things you hold dear. To intrude on the things you want to keep to yourself.

You don’t move from the spot you’re in. It could’ve been ten minutes, an hour, even, or maybe it was only thirty seconds, but you only peek out when you hear Sam’s voice ring through the shop. You survey the room, stepping out from your hiding spot when you confirm that Hyunjin is nowhere to be found. Though, you don’t think you could’ve hid regardless by the way Sam calls your name.

“Hi, Sammy,” You smile, coming up to pull her into a hug. She grips you tightly, her kinky hair tickling your cheek and her clothes smelling faintly of vanilla and roses. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too, hun,” Sam smiles, albeit a little sadly as she looks over your face. “What’s wrong?”

“Hey, don’t leave a poor old lady out,” Mrs. Yang huffs, “Come over here and tell us both about it.”

Without even saying anything they’ve already cheered you up, your steps feeling lighter as you make your way behind the counter and sit on one of the three seats. You sit between them both, their eyes set patiently but concerningly on you.

“I don’t know, really,” You start, and then, you tell them. About your argument with Seungmin, about how lonely it is feeling like you’re the only one feeling this way, about how much the site angers you— how it makes you feel. You tell them about Hyunjin, about how he doesn’t stop bothering you no matter how much you make it obvious you don’t want his company. How much that frustrates you, as well, and about how the lack of control over the entire situation, and over the CSC’s place in your life makes you uncomfortable, and about how the CSC itself makes you feel things you’ve never felt before and how much that scares you. You can barely describe the way it does, and who else can you blame besides its creators.

When you’re done it feels like you’ve vented a lifelong event, it makes a heavy weight lift itself off your shoulders and the heavy silence that remains doesn’t feel like judging, but rather them trying to understand— soaking up the meaning of every word you said in an attempt to place themselves in your shoes.

“I think,” Sam starts, “That your cluelessness about your feelings towards the site in general turns into anger, and the fact that the boy,”

“Hyunjin”, You offer.

“Yes, I think his attempts at speaking to you only worsen it somehow, like you’re being cornered by this weird feeling that you don’t understand and it makes you even angrier.”

“You said your friend is a part of it?” Mrs.Yang interjects, a wrinkly hand kneading your shoulder.

“Yeah,” You murmur, “He’s good friends with the group and he loves the website.”

“That probably doesn’t help then,” She continues, “If you’re surrounded by people who know what they like or enjoy something you don’t like or don’t understand, of course you’re going to feel angry. You feel like the odd one out.”

“I think more than anything you need to figure out if it’s really anger you’re feeling, and if the only reason why you hate this website is not because of its purpose but because of your lack of control over it.” Sam finishes.

“I can’t say I agree with it either,” Mrs.Yang grunts, “It’s not something I think college students need to be worrying about. Things like that stick with you, but it’s their choice to indulge in it, Y/n, you can’t control that.”

You sigh. You guess so, but you still feel like you need to get rid of it. You’ve been slacking, not paying attention to it as much as you should because of all the chaos it’s creating. It’s been a while since you’ve done a petition or made a list of ideas as an attempt to shut it down, but for now it seems like enough to just hate it. They can’t change your mind. Not Seungmin, not Sam, not Jieun, not Mrs.Yang, not Chan or Changbin or Minho— not any of them, and especially not Hyunjin. You just want to be hateful in peace and you don’t know why you don’t seem to be allowed to do that.

You leave the shop feeling lighter, but also like you didn’t actually get any good advice. Sure they validated your feelings, but that’s it. You’ve been trying to figure out your feelings. You know why you’re frustrated, and even though it felt good to be validated it also felt like a waste. You hold the bag of art supplies closer to you as you walk. The sun is setting, painting the sky reds, and oranges, and purples— and you think maybe you’ll paint that. To represent the end of the turmoil that surrounds you, as something hopeful.

You relish in the soft slope of your shoulders, in the relaxation you so rarely feel nowadays, and walk briskly to your dorm so you can fall into your bed and try to forget about the fact that there’s a party you’re supposed to be at tomorrow.

And as if the thought brought it on, your phone buzzes in your pocket. You pull it out quicker than you’d ever admit and a relieved smile pulls on your lips when you see it’s from Seungmin.

pup: be ready by 9

you: ok!!!!!

you: i miss you

There’s no more responses but you don’t let that dampen your mood. He still wants you to go with him and that says enough. You do feel terrible about the way you acted— the way you’ve been acting— but you know it’s justified. You’re not irrational. Not at all.

If you collapse at the foot of your bed, art supplies sitting on the floor by your feet, and a paper by your head titled #686, no one has to know.

This Saturday has not been a day of relaxation for you. You didn’t have any plans, though instead of enjoying the peace you so rarely received, the day consisted of you running around your room with a frazzled energy following behind like a ghost. At first you contemplated showing up in a sweater and jeans; no makeup, no jewelry, just you and a lazy fit— but realized that would only bring you even more stares than if you dressed as slutily as possible.

It’s with a black leather mini skirt and a black, lacy, low cut long sleeve tucked inside that you finally allow yourself to relax. You’re probably dressed way too flashily for a college party, but you can’t entertain any thoughts like that or you’ll spend the next three hours obsessing over it— and that’s three hours that you don’t have. Knee length boots stare at you from the door and it’s with a sigh that you walk to the door and put them on.

There’s more reasons to be nervous than just the party, between the inevitable walk with Seungmin to the encounter you’re most definitely going to have with the CSC and all of its users, you’re out of your element. There’s not enough deep breaths to make you calm down, there’s no method available to help clear your mind. Your heart races much more than should be healthy. It feels like hell, even, and all you can do is let this plethora of nerves run its course.

When your phone buzzes with Seungmin’s ‘I’m outside’ text, it almost feels like your heart stops. Fuck, Seungmin’s gonna ask who you’re all dressed up for, gonna ask why you’re so nervous. Why are you all dressed up? Why are you even going? It’s too much, too much of not knowing, not understanding, not feeling right. What will it take to get you to feel right? Like in freshman year when your biggest worry was whether or not you were passing your classes, now it feels like that's a lifetime ago. Like you’ve encountered way too much to even consider anything like that— not that you need to worry about it anyway. It was supposed to be a carefree year for you. You’re always on top of your responsibilities, always prepared, and nothing ever changed that until you went on that site for the first and last time.

You stop, relax your shoulders, take a deep breath that’s otherwise pointless, and step out the door. You curse the day you ever went on that website. It’s why everything is all messed up now, but you rid those thoughts from your mind. You’re determined to have fun tonight no matter what, and no matter who’s there.

Seungmin waits at the door, A button-down hanging off his shoulders and jeans. His hair is combed back and he’s ditched the glasses.

“Hey.” It comes out meeker than you’d like, a little too timid for what your relationship with Seungmin is.

“Hey,” he smiles, the braces you love so much on full display. Your best friend is beautiful, and it’s with a pang to your chest, it’s with seeing him now— so welcoming and so normal with you— that a small part of you realizes maybe you have been being irrational. Maybe you have been acting too strongly, but then you remind yourself that you’ve never been irrational. Never.

“So I’m guessing we’re going to the CSC’s dorm?”

“You’ll fit right in,” Seungmin laughs, starting to walk. You struggle to catch up to him; it’s been so long since you last wore heels that it’s hard to get used to. You don’t grace his comment with an answer, simply relishing in the soft nightly breeze and the shine of the moon. The stars glitter from above you, light years away yet so visible. So sure of their stance in life. You don’t think stars blow up at their best friends, or feel confused, or feel lonely.

You arrive at the party all too soon. From a block away you could see people drunk, staggering in the same direction, and from down the street you could hear the bass of the music, but the warning signs weren’t nearly enough to prepare you for the actual sight of it. It’s like the typical house parties you’d see on TV, but louder and more nerve-wracking. People hang out in front, the music loud enough for them to enjoy even from outside the building. Lights flash from behind the window, an array of purples, greens, reds, and blues. You can see people's shadows from behind the curtains over the front windows, and you feel like you’re about to throw up.

“Oh god,” You mumble, taking a few shaky steps inside. You can't do this. You’re gonna freak out and embarrass yourself. You can almost feel the anxiety seeping from your pores, and the word no repeats over and over in your head like a mantra.

No no no no no.

You can’t do this, but you do it anyway. Stepping inside the party is a feat in itself, and you can’t tell if your hands are shaking from the strong bass of the music or because of pure anxiety. The music knocks into your body so strongly that your knees buckle, barely able to hold you upright. At any moment you feel like you might collapse.

You can’t do it but you do it anyway, taking one step and then another, and when the door closes behind you, you resist the urge to turn back and run away. The party is full of people— so full that it’s impossible to walk anywhere without bumping into someone, and despite your best efforts you do get stares. Whether it’s because of what you’re wearing or if it’s because it’s you at a party being held by the CSC… you’re not entirely sure. You don’t think it makes a difference. You try to ignore it, act unbothered, and it must work because after a while they look away, murmuring something or the other about what you’re doing there.

Seungmin drags you away from the door and to the kitchen, rummaging through the fridge and cabinets like it’s his home. You take in the somewhat chill vibe of the kitchen compared to everywhere else. It’s not nearly as full, but there are couples at opposite ends acting as if it isn’t a place where food is kept.

You take a few deep breaths, reassure yourself that you can do this, and even if you can’t you’ll do it anyway. Seungmin doesn’t say anything, just pours you something sweet and fruity in a red cup and hands it over with a raise of his eyebrows. You drink it way too quickly and you know you’re gonna regret it later, but you need the effect it’ll bring. The faux calmness that’ll help you get through the night. Though with how full the party is you think that you won’t be able to see the hosts anytime soon if at all, and that’s enough to bring your heart to a stuttering stop before it resumes its beating in a much more slow paced manner. You’re still not calm, but you’re doing your best.

“Try to relax,” Seungmin chides, his gaze heavy where it bores into you. “Everything will be just fine.”

You nod, taking a more calculated sip of your drink this time. You let the music relax you instead of startle you— focusing on the beats and the melody— on the lyrics, instead of the volume and how it makes your body tremble. You can do this.

When you finally feel like you’re able to relax, Seungmin parts from you, saying there’s some people he has to see. You’re an adult, so you can handle being alone for a few minutes. Eventually, though, the few minutes turn into something longer. You wonder if maybe Seungmin is still upset with you— you didn’t speak much about it on the walk like you thought you would. Honestly, it was mostly silence, and you didn’t think much of it before but you are now. You hold your drink close to your chest, dubbing it your life line for the night.

You last all of thirty minutes before you feel like you’re getting too hot— the building only gets even more stuffy as more people arrive, all of you packaged like a can of sardines. You take the fleeting burst of confidence to leave the kitchen and go to the backyard, hoping that it’ll be a bit more peaceful (as peaceful as possible considering the music blasting), and allow the fresh air to graze your skin like a soft blanket. You sit down on one of the benches in the backyard, leaning your head back and closing your eyes. What will it take to feel at peace? Maybe there’s nothing you can do. And it’s with these thoughts that you do exactly what you shouldn’t do at a party, wallowing in self pity and confusion. You’re so caught up in these thoughts that you don’t notice when someone else joins you.

“Hey, bug.”

Your head whips up faster than what’s comfortable, and you barely hide the wince that struggles to leave your lips. Hyunjin speaks again before you can respond.

“Don’t leave, alright. Please?” He asks, sitting down beside you and smoothing his hands over his pants. “Can we talk?”

“About?”

“About us? About you? I’m tired of running in circles and I want to know why you hate me— the CSC so much.”

You’re silent for a moment, contemplating, thinking. You should get up, leave the backyard and this party altogether. You should ignore whatever it is Hyunjin has to say because he’s the reason for all this, right? Why is he always pretending he doesn’t know; acting like he wants to get to know you? Acting like it really matters how you feel. Everyone wants to understand, everyone wants to know why, but you don’t even know— but you’ll never admit it outright. You’ll never say the one thing that’s been your driven principle for the past year is something you’re unsure about. All you know is that it’s bad, that it’s made you feel ways that were foreign to you, and in order to regain control you need to get rid of it. No matter how anyone else feels about it, no matter who gets upset with you along the way. You need to do it.

Your voice is soft, but not meek. For once, you’re gonna get this entire experience off your chest. “When I first went on the site in the beginning of freshman year I was curious,” You start, glancing at Hyunjin and feeling the tightness in your chest return when you realize he’s already looking at you. “At first, I was curious, and then I was confused. I clicked on a few videos— I scrolled for a while— and I started to get this weird feeling. The more I watched the videos, the more I scrolled through pictures and posts, the feeling got stronger.”

You feel so stupid, but you continue. If Hyunjin makes fun of you he’s just proving your assumptions correct. “I’d never felt that way before and honestly, it kinda scared me, and it was annoying that I didn’t understand it. I didn’t do anything after that. I ignored how fast my heart was beating, how my body was reacting, and never went on that site again. Slowly, that confusion turned into anger— it’s not normal. The way I felt wasn’t normal, and that’s why I think that site needs to get shut down.”

“Bug…” Hyunjin laughs a little and you want to be offended, but you can tell it’s more shock than amusement. “Bug have you ever had sex? Or.. touched yourself at all?”

Your mouth opens and closes comically, but Hyunjin is patient, waiting and watching carefully for you to speak. “Is that what’s important?” You finally say, your eyebrows furrowed and you’re ready to defend yourself if need be. “No, I haven’t.”

“God, bug this is…” Hyunjin squints at you, “I think you were aroused.”

You splutter, feeling your heart rate spike in embarrassment. “What!? No. No.”

“That weird feeling? That heat in your gut,” Hyunjin says, and to punctuate he lays a large, warm, hand over your stomach. “You were horny.” This time, Hyunjin’s laugh is one of amusement, but you're too distracted by how big his hand is, splayed over your stomach and so warm it feels like it’s burning through your clothes.

“Hyunjin, the feeling— no, it doesn’t make sense.”

“Bug, if you’ve never ever been aroused before somehow, of course it felt weird. Holy shit.”

You don’t say anything, but Hyunjin continues before you can get a grip on your thoughts.

“I can’t believe this is the reason why you’ve hated us for so long, I honestly can’t believe it.”

“Hyunjin… that feeling wasn’t pleasurable. Control is pleasurable. I didn’t have a grip on anything that day and barely regained it on the days following. You can’t convince me that getting rid of the CSC won’t bring back a sense of normalcy. You can’t, and even if you’re right, I think that morally, the site is still wrong, and I’m not going to stop trying to shut it down.”

“There’s so much about the CSC you don’t know about, and there’s so much more to pleasure than control.” Hyunjin sighs, clearly more at ease now that he realizes you’re just confused. You don’t know, really, why you hate them. That’s clear. You’re stubborn though, he can tell, and even if this idea he has works— he’s not sure you’ll stop until you get what you want.

Earlier that day the CSC received an email from the dean, threatening that they’ll start looking into all that their site entails because of how often you keep badgering them about it. It’s starting to create a murmur between staff, and they’re growing increasingly frustrated. All that means to Hyunjin is you’re finally breaking through their resolve, running them down enough for them to consider shutting it down or supervising more intensely. Hyunjin can’t have that. None of them can. When Hyunjin approached you tonight he expected to have to beg— to have to plead with you to stop meddling. The site is bigger than you know, more important than some college stupidity. It rakes in a lot of cash, and he can’t have such petty reasoning stop that flow.

Hyunjin’s voice is husky as he continues and his words send an undeniable shiver down your spine “I can show you that the site, and sex by association aren’t bad at all. Mentally, you’re confused and physically, you’re pent up. We can’t have that can we, pretty girl?”

“No, we can’t.”

Wait. What? Yes, we can. Yes you can. You’ve been doing just fine right? You don’t need Hyunjin’s help. He’s not gonna change your mind because your mind doesn’t need changing.

“You can try to shut us down, but at the same time let us help you.”

“Us?” You murmur, attempting to understand what exactly is happening.

“All of us, the CSC can help you figure out what you’re feeling, right? We can help you decide what to do.”

“…You can help me?”

Hyunjin hums, removing his hand from your waist and trailing his finger along the skin just above the hem of your shirt. His fingers dip over your cleavage, tug at your necklace, up and up until your chin is in his hand, and he turns you to face him as his lips brush your cheek. “I want to see who will succeed first, so let me show you that there’s more to pleasure than control.”

He can help you. Out of all the people who ask you why, who say they want to understand but don’t try, he’s the one who’s offering a solution. As annoying as he’s always been to you, as much as he’s always embodied something you hate— the person who’s embedded such foreign feelings in your mind— he wants to help you. He wants to try, and he’s not telling you to stop your goal either. He’s not telling you it’s stupid, he’s not getting angry. He doesn’t make you feel irrational. You’re not irrational. You have a goal and it’s one you’re gonna complete, but… it doesn’t hurt to try, right? And if you succeed, if you shut them down and Hyunjin fails— if the CSC fails you’ll win. You’ll win and prove that you were right all along.

“Go easy on me.”

“Of course, bug.”

You keep your eyes downcast in embarrassment as Hyunjin whispers against your skin, his fingers gently turning your chin up and over to the point of focus. His lips. Pouty, sinfully crimson, curving upwards so surely, like they themselves know their effect on people. They look so soft, so wet. You want to feel them, and it’s as if Hyunjin’s read your mind because his lips are on yours before you can even blink.

“You just kissed me,” Your voice is airy, breathless, and usually you’d be embarrassed.

“Can I do it again?”

There’s a simmering, boiling tension both of you have been ignoring but you’ve lost the will to care about hating Hyunjin or Chan or the CSC. Momentarily, you’ve lost the will to feel much at all but a burning desire to take away any negative emotion you feel. You’re sick of it, sick of feeling confused. Last night you’d dealt with it by crying your eyes out, before that you’d dealt with it by having a screaming match with your best friend, and now you’re ready to look for something to fix it. This just might be the best way to start.

“Not outside.” You whisper, your hands clutching the fabric of Hyunjin’s shirt with such an intensity you’re afraid it’ll rip off then and there.

The trip inside and upstairs is a blur. You’re sure if anyone saw you they stared, wondering what you two were doing together, wondering what you were going upstairs for. It’s a blur, nothing is clear but what you’re going to do at this moment, and with Hwang Hyunjin of all people. Of what you’re going to do in the future, with the CSC of all people, what you’re gonna do to them— what you’re gonna allow them to do to you— that’s the only thing on the forefront of your mind. Not about who’s watching, not about who wants to know. It’s about you. You’re the one in control, you’re the one who gets to decide. You’re the one who needs to know.

Warm. You feel warm all over, pressed against Hyunjin with his thighs spreading yours open, warm in his tight embrace. Your hands are clutching at his clothes, at his arms— It’s so hot, yet somehow the constant cool air of the room makes you shiver.

“W-what do I do?”

Hyunjin chuckles, his voice the softest you’ve ever heard it. “You don’t have to do anything, pretty. Let me handle it.”

Letting Hyunjin handle anything doesn’t sound like a very good idea to you in any instance, but in this case you let him. You’re otherwise clueless in this area and frankly, if you want his help you’re going to have to accept it when it’s given. His mouth lands back on yours, a certain kind of desire running through the kiss. His hands are all over you. Trying to grab at every inch he can, and you try your best to kiss him back with equal intensity— to move your lips against his with the same fervor.

Your heart kicks up an irritating notch when Hyunjin slides a warm hand up your shirt. You can feel the way his fingers ghost over your skin with an unnatural intensity, as if his touch is amplified tenfold. And if Hyunjin had imagined this during late nights, cock shamelessly fisted in his hand as he dreamt of you pushing your panties to the side for him to enter your tight hole, no one has to know.

“Look at me, pretty,” Hyunjin growls, your eyes opening at his command against your better judgement. His pupils are dilated, staring down at you with a foreign intensity. The way he looks at you is an awakening, and with a small burst of confidence, you bury your fingers into the collar of his shirt, bringing him down for another kiss. It’s a little awkward with your inexperience, all teeth and clumsy movements until he takes the lead. His lips feel like heaven and you want them everywhere, want to kiss him forever. You want to sink his soft groans into your skin, keep the taste of him on your tongue for the rest of your days as he licks into your mouth, coaxing feelings out of you you've never felt before— kissing you into blissful dizziness.

"I wonder why you're so pretty, hm? Been torturing me for months, sweet thing," Hyunjin teases, pressing your thighs farther apart, tongue pushing against yours, his lips cherry red. You want to kiss him again. "I don’t think you really hate me, bug.”

Your breath hitches when his hands move to your skirt, slipping under the hem and holding the fabric tightly. God, you feel so bare. Like Hyunjin is looking at you from the inside out. When he pulls your skirt down slowly, so slowly it feels like time stands still, all that’s on your mind is him. His breathing, his touch, his warmth. When your pink, lacy panties come into view the chuckle Hyunjin lets out is so deep it feels like a heavy blanket over your mind, soothing you yet igniting something in you that you didn’t know existed. God, you’re in the demon's bed but you feel like you’ve gotten a taste of heaven, and when those soft, cherry red lips ghost over your skin, trailing over your pelvis, leaving light kisses along your skin, all you can do is jerk in his hold. You’re so sensitive. So, so sensitive.

His hands grip your waist tightly and his lips trail upwards, the bridge of his nose pushing your shirt up until it’s so high your breasts threaten to fall, smothering Hyunjin’s face underneath them. You shiver at the thought, those sinful lips pressing kisses against the skin of your breasts; what would it feel like? Would it feel like this? This feeling that you’re still so unfamiliar with?

"Pretty girls deserve to know what it feels like to have me right here,” Hyunjin starts, leaning down to press a trail of kisses to your inner thigh. He bites and marks along the fleshiest parts, chuckling at your quiet whimpers and yelps. You didn’t know you could make sounds like that. He slides a hand up between your thighs and rubs between your folds, still covered by your lacy panties. “Did you come to impress someone tonight?” Hyunjin murmurs, before splitting them to rub your clit through the fabric. You feel like falling as he circles between your thighs, a gasp hiccupping at the base of your throat before it gets stuck— you can’t make a sound.

You faintly hear the rustle of clothing and the absence of Hyunjin’s touch, opening your eyes to see him pulling his shirt off, biceps flexing as he does. He’s so big, and fuck, his whole body could cover your own if he really wanted. He towers over you, caging you in and surrounding you from all sides. When his shirt is off and thrown somewhere to the floor, he looms over you, his hands pressing into the bedding at either side of your head, and all you can do is gasp— your eyes widening at his proximity.

“You okay?” He whispers, and you nod.

“Yes.”

It’s breathless. It’s not you. It’s not the person who wanted nothing to do with Hyunjin only a day ago, but you want answers. You want clarity. And right now, you want this.

Hyunjin wastes no time after your confirmation, his fingers slipping under your panties and ghosting over your skin. He lets out a harsh breath at the feeling where you’re otherwise silent, trusting that he knows what to do. When a rush of cool air blows over you though, your legs close instinctively, and Hyunjin hums, “Stay with me, bug.”

“I’m here,” You respond, slowly spreading your legs back wide and allowing him to pull your underwear down until they’re hanging off ur ankle, your arousal sticks to the fabric, but with a flick of his wrist they’re gone. They’re gone. Oh god. You’re really doing this. You take a deep breath, and when a warm hand comes to cradle your cheek you lean into the warmth. It’s okay. You’re okay.

Soft lips press against your skin, tainting the unmarked flesh with bites and bruises. He paints your neck purple and blue, fingers ghosting between your thighs, tracing and playing with the obvious wetness coating your arousal. His mouth travels upwards, pressing against your own as he claims your lips in a devouring kiss. Everything is on fire, hot and burning as lust begins to entirely consume you for the first time.

A small moan slips past your lips as he dips a finger into your slick, warm cunt, and you clench around the digit almost immediately as instinct. The cool air and your nerves make your thighs tremble, but it doesn’t seem to affect Hyunjin— not at all— if the way he keeps eye contact with you while he fingers you slowly is any indicator. Painfully slow. You don’t know if this is to help you or torture you, and you can’t help the way your thighs tense under his ministrations.

The man before you reaches his other hand towards the hem of your top to pinch the edge of it between an index finger and thumb, and pulls the cloth away from your skin.

His eyes bore into yours: “This okay?”

“Fuck, the more you ask me the more nervous I get.”

“Okay, okay. I don’t wanna make you nervous.”

“Just… be nice to me, Hyunjin. Okay?”

Hyunjin smiles, and you exhale, relaxing into Hyunjin’s sheets and letting his musky cologne consume your senses as his touch roams everywhere else.

And then finally— yet all too quickly— the shirt is tugged away from your breasts and they fall freely as Hyunjin eagerly leans closer. His nose presses against one of your hardened nipples, and you watch his pupils dilate quicker than you thought was possible. He’s barely holding back the urge to fuck you dumb, and the finger that still thrusts slowly into your cunt stutters in its movements.

Look at you. His eyes roam over the look on your face, your bottom lip pulled between your teeth, bright eyes glazed over and hooded in a bliss that’s otherwise foreign to you, a particular ease directed towards him. Then he shamelessly let his eyes drop down to your thighs that tremble even harsher under his gaze. The action only forces his mind to run wild. He can’t help but wonder how you do it— looking all innocent— being all innocent but acting like you’re not. Like you’re so sure. You’re confused, god, you don’t know what real pleasure is— and it’s Hyunjin’s job to teach you. Fuck, did he want to be under you, gazing up at your through half lidded eyes, hungrily eating up the sight of you bouncing on his cock like the slut you could be.

He dipped his head down, holding your breast in his large hand and rubbing over your nipples with his mouth, swirling his tongue around the hardened bud. Your hands automatically perched themselves on his shoulders, and he grins, moving the finger thrusting into your cunt harsher, faster.

“Oh, god,” You moan, loud, your grip on his bare shoulders tightening ever so slight. His skin was warm under your fingers— soft and smooth and fuck if it didn’t feel good.

He groans, cock stiffening more than it already had. At this rate he was probably going to cum in his pants untouched, but he held himself back. He wanted to do this right— show you all that pleasure could be. He moved his mouth from your nipple to slip lower, down lower and lower still until he came face to face with your arousal.

“Fuck. You’re driving me crazy.”

“Oh- oh Hyunjin help me, please,” You pleaded, his shoulders too far to grip onto; your hands instead finding his hair, running your fingers through and pulling when he nosed at your clit, groaning heartily when your wetness clinged to his skin.

It’s with a lick to your clit that you wail, your thighs threatening to close, and they would have if Hyunjin’s hands hadn’t reached out to force them down, pushing further and sticking his face into your arousal with more fervor, licking and sucking with such vigor that it felt as if he was trying to devour you. Your thighs trembled with every movement of his tongue, poking and prodding at every inch of your cunt, his nose dug against your clit and for a moment it felt like you were seeing stars. Your eyes fluttered shut, your mouth letting out uncontrollable moans.

You didn’t think it’d feel this good. But, you remind yourself, control feels better. You can’t let him change that— he won’t change that.

The obscene sounds that came from his actions should’ve embarrassed you, but nothing like that came to mind. Hyunjin was relentless, and you couldn’t even think of anything more than the feeling of his hair between your fingers and his tongue slurping at your cunt.

You tried to quiet your moans by clamping a hand over your mouth, but sitting up and watching the way he sucked and licked at your arousal made your head spin. He made the action so nasty. So filthy. He was wild yet careful. But what did you know? All you knew was that it was driving you insane and you didn’t know anything could feel this good.

Besides control, of course. And you assume, the eradication of the CSC would, also.

Suddenly, your stomach tenses, your body locking up, and you quickly cream all over his tongue, shaky moans slipping through your pretty lips. Your thighs shook from the aftershock, trying to come down from this feeling. Afterwards, Hyunjin’s actions felt too harsh. He didn’t change pace at all, but it felt like your body was going to arch its way into oblivion. Unable to ignore the sensitivity of your body any longer, you pushed against his head until he stopped, attempting to catch your breath.

“You okay?”

You hum, begging the beating of your heart to soften, though as soon as it finally did you looked back at Hyunjin and saw his pants sliding down his legs. His toned, muscular legs, and it started its harsh beating once again. That wasn’t it? Of course, that’s wasn’t it, but fuck. You don’t know if you can handle anything more.

The headboard of his bed knocks against the wall as he climbs back up on the bed, moving his body closer this time and instead of only his chest hovering over you, this time his legs cage you in, one on either side, as your heart pounds itself into oblivion.

One hand supported his weight on the pillow by your head while the other was preoccupied, curled around his cock as he stared down at you— something akin to a beast in his gaze. Tip reddened and precum oozing from the slit while he groaned. The tingly feeling in your groin was coming back, similar to the fluttering you always felt whenever Hyunjin would come bother you. It intensifies when Hyunjin wraps your legs around his waist and pulls you closer to him, your body dragging the bedding from under you and you yelp.

He rubs the tip of his cock against your twitching folds, teasing actions feeling more like torture before he finally sinks in. Slowly, deliberately, but you still tense. It’s scary, having something stick itself inside of you.

“Relax,” Hyunjin murmurs, pressing a kiss to your cheek. “Stay with me.”

You do your best, forcing your body to relax, as he sinks deeper and deeper still. Hyunjin grunts softly when you clench down on him, and he sighs as you blink dazedly up at him.

Pretty eyes are locked intensely on your cunt, Hyunjin watching the slide of his cock as he thrusts inside. His hair is plastered along his sweat slicken forehead, and he sinks back into your slick walls with another languid roll of his hips.

“Fuck you’re so tight, baby.”

You moan, high and light, your eyes fluttering closed in bliss while Hyunjin’s chest expands with a shaky breath. He rolls his hips into yours— sinking his cock into your virgin cunt saying the filthiest words you’ve ever known before his words break off into a moan, his tone lower and deeper than his playful one. Tonight you’re seeing a whole new side of him— a new persona. This isn’t the annoying Hwang Hyunjin who bothers you and calls you ‘bug’, this is the Hwang Hyunjin everyone else knows. The one you hadn’t met yet.

“Oh, please don’t stop— be nice to me,” You babble, your hands grabbing at whatever you can— his shoulders, his back, his hair; and that’s all it takes before he suddenly takes up a pace that’s a little faster, rougher as your pussy squelches, wet and messy while your arousal smears along your thighs and the sheets.

Your body jolts with each thrust, pussy clenching around him as Hyunjin moans—every twitch and squeeze of your pussy leaving him breathless. “Come on, baby,” He pleads, and you don’t know what to do. You’re too lost in the haze of pleasure that’s taken over you— you can’t hear past the slap of your skin and Hyunjin’s groans in your ear. You know you’re moaning, but you can barely hear yourself. It’s all Hyunjin. Him all over you, surrounding you, making you feel good.

He grunts as you clench down on him with another roll of his hips, sinking deeper into you with each thrust. “That’s it, pretty,” he grunts, “Taking me so well, fuck. So greedy for me.” And again, you feel that strange feeling before tensing up, your body convulsing and arching up as Hyunjin’s thrusts grow more frantic— harsher and harsher as he groans gutturally in your ear with one last thrust long and deep, and when something shoots deep inside, you shiver one last time before your body sinks into the mattress and Hyunjin’s weight cases you in.

You feel boneless, lethargic with your movement. You feel when Hyunjin gets off you, when he closes your legs after slipping your underwater back on. You hear it when he sighs, something light and satisfied, and you barely manage to answer when he asks you how you feel. You can’t do much more than sigh, but it seems like enough for him— like that was the exact answer he was looking for. You succumb to blissful sleep right before the door shuts behind Hyunjin.

“Hear me out,” Hyunjin sighs, a lazy smile on his features even still. You’re no joke even if you might not know it yet. “I think it could really work.”

“You want us to convince Y/n to what? Leave us alone or..?” Jeongin says, leaning against the table in the kitchen.

The party has long been over, there’s a mess everywhere but it’s empty except for the eight boys and you knocked out in Hyunjin’s bed. Jisung sits sprawled on the couch, head twisted ever so slightly to betray that he’s listening to the conversation, Jeongin leans against the table and Chan has his arms folded where he leans against the wall serving as the entrance between the kitchen and the living room.

Minho downs a bottle of water by the sink, and Changbin leans against the fridge, leveling Hyunjin with an intense look. Felix and Seungmin sit on the couch opposite Jisung where they have a full view of everything and everyone.

“She barely even knows what porn is, so I said I could convince her the site isn’t that bad— and is something she could grow to like, if not love.” Hyunjin explains, his eyebrows raising in wait for the retaliation that’s sure to come.

“Why should we?” Minho asks, with a swallow, “If she doesn’t like it, honestly what does it matter.” Heads nod in agreement.

“Listen, they’re starting to consider whatever the fuck she’s selling them at those little meetings, and I got an email about investigation if this keeps up. If we fail to change her mind, we can at least distract her enough for the heat to lessen a little.”

Chan nods, “I don’t think it’s a bad idea.” He shrugs, looking over at everyone in the kitchen. “We change her mind, then we got one less problem to deal with.”

“And if we don't?” Changbin asks, tilting his head at both Hyunjin and Chan. “And if this is just a waste of time?”

“It isn’t,” Hyunjin assures, “Trust me.”

The rest of them don’t argue, but Hyunjin feels Seungmin’s gaze boring into him from the couch, feels his questions burning at the tip of his tongue, begging to be let out, so he leaves before they can succeed.

“We can talk about it more later, but I think it’ll work. It’s a good deed, and I know how much you guys love those.” Some scoffs and laughs fill the room, but Hyunjin is already halfway up the stairs, a plan forming in his mind and a pleasant smile growing on his face.

a note from iris: this chapter was late because of that long ass smut scene so i hope it was enjoyable and that this wasn’t 17k worth of a snoozefest 😭 i’m sorry it’s late!! so sorry but it’s still friday even if it’s 11 pm <3<3 not beta read not nothin so pls.. spare me.. and i hope you liked it !!!

not-so-mini taglist (there’s so many of y’all !!???): @chrisbahng @seonghwatoothless @bubblelixie @199719932000 @imsuchasimp00 @hyu-hl @oddinaryfelix @raspbinniecreme @fa3body @kittykatkrissa @andreaswrld @hattorihaechan @lachinitaaaaa @j-0ne25 @bangchanbabygirlx @ni-sh @green-orangeade @sincerely-skz @exclusivej3ss @elizalabs3 @lili-kims-blog @curiousgworge @midsoulz @sawadabegum @reighlee-greaves @lotus-dly @blcar @impossiblewritingrebel @yourhwngness @idek-at-this-point-lol @multihoe-net @hyun-bun @hwan-g @ughbehavior @rindomo @awesomelycoolworld @springdeity @todolyn @meowminhosblog @hyunelixies @emotionalwreckkk-blog @seungschacco @avyskai @cvfechan @jeyelleohe @vvsmydiamonds127 @chriscentric @simpforpunzngl @be-a-spacequeen @svintsandghosts @myjisung @hanjiesgf

*** if your tag didn’t work make sure your blog is visible! if i somehow missed you when tagging i offer a sincere apology <3

#hyunjin scenarios #skz smut #skz scenarios #stray kids x reader #hyunjin x reader #hyunjin x female reader #hyunjin smut #hyunjin angst #hwang hyunjin #hyunjin imagines #skz x reader

[anyaeras]

A twisted love story || W.Maximoff (Part One)

Pairing || Wanda Maximoff x Reader

Summary || Wanda falls in love with Starks intern, who due to their past is very bright and soon becomes an avenger, growing closer with Wanda during their time together. Wanda would like to keep them close

Warnings || long ,, fluff ,, angst ,, child testing ,, memory loss ,, nightmares ,, slightly possessive Wanda ,, leading to dark!wanda

Master list

Part 2 (coming soon)

──────────────────────

New York was the city that made dreams come true, it was the city that never slept and it was the Big Apple, it was even home to many of the worlds greatest heroes the avengers.

Y/n was young and the very bright person they worked extremely hard to get closer to their dreams, moving to New York City wasn't easy for the young adult they left a lot of their family behind and lost a lot of support, yet after awhile, and many long, tedious hours they were able to get into a stark internship while it was a little confusing, there wasn't much information on what they were really looking for, and it honestly it seemed a little out of the ordinary. It wasn't a hard job if you think about it, now you didn't get paid but you got the experience, three days a week you attended the avengers tower from 2pm to 5pm.

They had been going to the office on this schedule for a while now, and Wanda Maximoff had it marked down in her calendar, it seemed whenever y/n was in the building, so was she.

Y/n was in the office running around with stacks of boxes, trying to get to where they needed to be as Wanda watched from a distance, leaning up against the desk, not too far from y/n's traveling path. Wanda perked up when she noticed The internal starting to stumble boxes, slowly slipping away, as they try to compose their balance, the witch was quick to hop in using her powers to hold the boxes in an upright position, red wisps floated in front of the young adults face, which allowed them to regain their balance, y/n began coming down from the shock of nearly falling, before observing how the boxes were afloat.

"Falling for me hmm?" Wanda joked as she slowly set the box's down into y/n's arms correctly, as you laughed softly at the scarlet witch's statement while feeling embarrassed for yourself, what caught you off? Guard was the scarlet witch, who is feared by so many yet in this moments, she seemed so kind. y/n saw her sweet and pleasantly warming, now Wanda, on the other hand, saw this is an opportunity.

"Hey, if you ever need some help around here, I know dealing with everyone around here can be a pain, feel free to ask for me or my assistant" Wanda stated with a soft yet very fake innocent smile her words were coated in a dimmed Sokovian accent, after the quick interaction, Wanda had left allowing y/n to continue their work, slipping into the elevator to go back to the avengers only section of the tower, yet along the way, Wanda bumped into a fiery redhead.

"Is stark's intern your new little play thing?" The Russian asked in a humorous way, almost laughing at the Sokovian, yet the scarlet witch only gave a small huff in an "as if" sort away as a reply.

"I don't want them Natasha" I want to lied even with a knowledge, Natasha, being a well trained widow, who could definitely see through the lie, but either way, the subject was dropped for the moment, well until it wasn't...

Meanwhile y/n was running around moving boxes and sorting out stuff inside some of the labs, at one point they found themselves working with some scrap parts that were laying around just for fun, yet those few minutes of free time seem to get away from them. They were pulled away from the project by the sound of the big boss man, stark.

"a little late for you to be hanging around" Tony said in the question like manner, looking down at his naked wrist, as if he had a watch on to prove his Point.

"Oh sorry I totally lost track of time, I didn't even realize I was off the clock" y/n quickly responded justifying their actions. The older man didn't seem to care too much. He came over, peering at what you had put together in your time in the honestly extremely outdated lab.

"so it seems like you've been working. That's good I don't pay bright minds for nothin" stark laughed at his own comment, y/n had thought about mentioning that they are an unpaid intern that HE had hired, but y/n just brushed it off y/n went on plugging in the small robotic looking box they had made in your now not so free time, Tony watched curiously from behind y/n, as they begin to connect the small box to a computer nearby opening up a few different software's until they found the correct one, moving over to stand off to the side, allowing the avenger behind them take a look at the device, y/n started to explain the device was a traveling AI. It could fit the needs of the carrier at any moment.Might they need a nurse or a genius war strategist, at this point if this box got a physical body, it could become its own superhero, and be a great weapon. The explanation managed to render Tony speechless.

"You had no plans or prior research building this?" He asked almost speaking to himself as he questioned getting only a negative response from the intern in front of him

"And you've never made this before?" He asked again getting the same response.

"Come with me" the broad statement from Iron Man caused y/n not to move, thinking about what he just said over in their mind, taking it an entirely different way.

"Not to my damn bed. I got a wife and pepper honestly isn't one for a threesome, well, at least I don't think?" He question himself before shaking it off.

"Anyway follow me newbie" this time y/n got up following Tony throughout the avengers tower and pushing through a set of glass doors into a very nice office.

"Furry. This is the one we're gonna keep it." Was all that Tony said to the one, and only Nick fury who gave a raised eyebrow as a reply back to the avenger. Y/n made eye contact with the man across the desk momentarily before breaking the contact looking back at Stark in pure confusion.

"Why?" the question was about you yeah, it wasn't directly for you to reply to.

"Their a genius, much brighter than banner, skilled in medical as well and war strategy I think they would be a great asset" Tony said in a matter-of-factly manner leaving y/n with a

Proud feeling in their chest.

Nick finally turned his full attention to y/n aiming a question.

"Where are you from, and do you know what you got yourself into?" Y/n didn't fully understand exactly what was asked yet they spit out a nervous reply.

"I'm from the Midwest, now living alone in the city, I wanna go back to school, oh and about the last thing I feel like I'm going to find out." Y/n replied keeping their past to themself on purpose while also trying to sound confident in their reply. They gained a small smirk from furry which the stamens "show them around the tower" was also received; and like that y/n was being pulled away into an elevator going to the locked section of the tower, the doors of the elevator opened in the center of a elegant kitchen and if you looked over to the right a rather large and gorgeous living room.

The two women who were still having a conversation at the kitchen island, both looked up moving to see who came threw the elevator doors.

"I picked the newbie, if one of you can show them around that'll be great I'm busy" Tony said quickly before wondering off into the large area, leaving you with the two women, which the dark red headed widow had chosen to also excuse herself, leaving y/n once more with Wanda Maximoff.

"Looks like you're stuck with me" the witch laughed while y/n face lost color, they didn't want wanda to think they didn't wanna be shown around by her, they thought Wanda was 'pretty cool'

Wanda prompt you to follow her through the large hallways of the tower, while all the doors looked the same y/n was sure they would find themself getting lost around here.

Wanda opened one of the many doors on the right side, moving off to the side allowing you to move inside the large suite.

"My room is right next door if you need anything and I mean anything feel free to come find me Дорогой, oh and I'm sure Tony will have your important belongings here shortly" wanda told them, before leaving y/n to settle in for a few moments.

While looking around y/n must've gotten distracted, like always losing track of time as next thing they know, their door was reviving a harsh knock, which followed by multiple agents bringing in some box's holding items clearly from y/n's now old crummy apartment, no words were exchanged as the group of agents left the box's and went on with their day.

Y/n began to take things out, placing them around the room as everything felt so fast, they were meant to just try and get a start, not become a part of this team of heroes, that's no all, they live with some of the coolest people know, like the girl who's room was only one door over...

Items now sat on selves, the bed was changed to their old bedding, it made the suite feel much more home like. Finally getting through all the box's of clothes, y/n was able to change into more comfortable clothing having no plans to leave the room, honestly they weren't to sure where to go if they did leave.

Y/n was sat on the very large bed, with their laptop pulled up trying to figure out the wifi password.

"It's 'Genius, Billionaire, Playboy, Philanthropist' the password" a witch said from the doorframe. Causing y/n to jump from sudden sound of her voice.

"Sorry I didn't mean to scare you" wanda apologized welcoming herself into their room, not like y/n really minded.

"Here let me see" wanda typed in the long narcissistic password password into y/n's laptop, causing it to go back into their Netflix showing the continue watching page which the witch didn't miss picking up on all the roma-coms they had been watching.

"You like sitcoms?" Wanda asked relating it back to herself

"Yeah they make life seem so much better" y/n explained as Wanda knew completely what they meant.

"You know, sitcoms are my favorite, I grew up with them" the witch recalled fondly of the past, before the bad came into her life.

"Actually I came here to invite you to team movie night, we have a movie and team bounding night every week, and as you are now apart of this teen we want you to join us?" Y/n agreed to come to the movie night. Standing up wearing only comfy clothes, which hugged their body so nicely causing Wanda to struggle as she was trying not to stare.

Wanda who was in a tang and grey sweat pants lead y/n back to the large living space they had saw earlier, yet this time multiple other avengers where sat on the multiple sofas in the area, Wanda sat down on a loveseat which was off to the side, yet still had a good view of the large television, using her arms to motion for y/n to come sit with her on the seat, as by this point wanda would be who they were most comfortable with, as they have shared moments and multiple conversations.

"My pick!" Peter had said, yet he'd been wanting to see a new horror movie, giving no one any heads up, just pulling up the movie and clicking play, to which y/n would soon find out, they were going to regret coming to 'team bounding'

Y/n tried to play it off like they were so strong, trying to no show they were completely terrified of the movie, while Wanda wasn't even trying to listen but y/n's thoughts were loud, as well as their body language, at any jump-scare y/n would flinch, the Scarlet witch didn't pay much mind leaning over to the other side of the shared loveseat pulling y/n into her side, providing some comfort, as well as embarrassing the young newbie, the black widow shot y/n a small smirk, soon moving to give Wanda an 'i told you so' kind of look.

The witch ignored the widow, focusing on calming y/n down, yet nothing seemed to work, she took a mental note that horror movies may not be aloud for a while at team movie night before quietly taking y/n's arm, gaining their attention before motioning for them to come with her, leaving the team to their movie, as they payed no mind to the two of them leaving.

"We could've stayed, the movie wasn't that bad" y/n said trying to act nonchalantly about it, knowing Wanda pulled them away due to their reaction to the film.

"No. Come let's go to my room" wanda left no room for argument, she was already protective over the new member, feeling a pull towards them. Well not like this attraction was new, not to Wanda at least, but it was just beginning for y/n.

Wanda opened up her rooms door, and it looked nothing like yours, much more settled in, the red accents inside the room reflected her personality much more than your bland room reflected yours, she went straight to the bed, motioning for you to join her on the other side, sitting crisscross on the bed, reaching for the remote before putting on one of her favorite sitcoms, which you both found much more enjoyable than the horror movie out in the living room.

"Sorry about movie night, I didn't mean to ruin the team bounding" y/n stated once more still feeling bad for pulling Wanda away from her team.

"Y/n it's okay, I'd much rather watch sitcoms and I enjoy watching them with you" She replied reaching to pull y/n into her side, wrapping her arms around the new team member enjoying the shenanigans of the show.

"Thank you" y/n mumbled out, slowly getting more comfortable with the women, which the acknowledgment made Wanda smile softly to herself, as she could feel y/n began to drift off.

The witch didn't move allowing y/n to rest after a very long day, it was like their life changed, and even thought the witch didn't know much about y/n she felt so attached to them.

Eventually wanda fell asleep to the show still playing and y/n still lying on her side, an arm was wrapped around them for the time being.

Wanda woke up around two in the morning, due to movement in the bed, after a moment of regaining full consciousness, she realized it was y/n who was thrashing around in the bed, clearly in distress.

"Y/n, y/n honey wake up" wanda tried softly shaking y/n trying to pull them out of their dream without causing them to panic to much, yet nothing seemed to be working, Wanda was trying not to panic herself, ended up using her powers seeing inside she was prepared to see the horror movie from that night, yet was met with much worse, Wanda was able to pull y/n from their nightmare, y/n jumped up with a jolt, clearly still in a panic.

"Y/n, y/n it's Wanda? You're at the tower. You're safe" the witch kept repeating, trying to ignore what she saw until you were calm.

"I-I'm sorry..."

"No, don't be y/n we all have bad dreams...would you like to talk about it?" Wanda kept her words in a hush tone, not wanting to be too loud at the late hour of the night, well more so early hour of the morning.

"I didn't mean to wake you up, I just get nightmares sometimes, and I know it's silly" y/n explain yet the other women just shook her head.

"I get nightmares, and so do many of the other avengers, it's not silly, it's just how your brain works when it's meant to be turned off" she explained to y/n trying to still comprehend what the dream was about.

"Y/n, i do have to ask though, do you remember what the dream was about? Because I couldn't wake you, not without my powers at least" the explanation would force y/n to recall what they saw only a few moments ago, flashbacks of their life, the truth about them, why they were so smart, why they seemed to be doing alright for themself even with such drastic changes in life.

"It was about my parents, well the people I lived with...see I was adopted at a young age as far as I'm aware, I don't know much about my past, I can't remember any of it, but i became the child of two scientists, I was their ginny pig, the test subject, I never went to a public school, the women homeschooled me, while the man watched how my brain was changing every hour of the day. It wasn't all bad, on my birthday they would always make me a cake and we would spend time like a family, but the next day it was back to the test, and all the labs, it was becoming to much, I was beginning to react poorly to their test, and one day I snapped I never learned how to fight but I did, I fought like hell to get away from that cabin up in the north, and it took a lot of time for me to get here...now here I am" y/n ranted out to Wanda, who was sat a little flabbergasted, while also she was livid, not at y/n but at the people who made their life so hard for so long...how could you do that to a kid.

"I'm sorry, please I can go that was a lot" y/n panicked now when the witch didn't give a reply, yet wanda was quick to hush them, pulling them into her arms letting them relax, and for once feel safe.

"Y/n as long as you're here, you'll be safe, This team, and me alone wouldn't let any one hurt you..ever." Wanda whispered into y/n's ear, her fingers ran through their hair, softly soothing them, prompting them back to sleep, still in the women's strong hold.

Waking up the next morning y/n was still passed out, sleeping soundly on the left side of the bed, Wanda got up to go get some coffee, making her way to the kitchen, she was met with the one and only russian red head. The black widow, with her signature smirk

"I'm pretty sure this is when I say...what is that saying? I told you so." Natasha poked fun at the witch, who clearly wanted more than just a friendship with the newbie, more than even romantics Wanda wanted y/n as hers, and hers only, she would protect y/n, and no harm would ever reach the newbie again....

"Wanda?" Y/n mumbled coming out of the witches bedroom, in the early hours of the morning

"Out in the kitchen" wanda called back, soon being met with a sleepy y/n, their hair messy, as they came over clinging to the witch, who by this point she couldn't even deny y/n to the other team members, they two of them became a thing rather quickly, the two of them had so much potential, getting out of this town, Wanda could make y/n a great spouse, they could have kids, the ideas bagan to flow in Wanda's mind, hoping she could fill y/n's head with the same thoughts.

that's not the end of this twisted love story thought? Is it?

#lgbtqia #marvel #marvel mcu #writing #fanfic #marvel edits #marvel fic #lizzie x reader #wanda maximoff #natasha romanov #wanda maximilf #mommy wanda #wanda maximoff x reader #a twisted love story #anyaeras #the scarlet witch #fluff #angst

[pinkydevil16]

Aemond Targaryen x reader: part 4

18+ sex

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Y/n could feel her eye twitch as another lord complimented Aemond on the marriage with another comment about their marital bed which Y/n chose to ignore for the good of her patience. Aemond only hummed at the lord, the same response he had given to the others before they bowed and gave way to another lord.

"My Prince, Princess, congratulations on your union, it is wonderful to see your two families united. May we be blessed with many a Prince and Princess to carry on your line." Y/n raised an eyebrow, Lord Greystone was the first to say such a polite congratulations.

"Thank you Lord Greystone, i hope our families will always have your support." The Lord smiled at the Princess and nodded before bowing, Aemond placed his hand on Y/n's thigh under the table, giving it a harsh squeeze as he whispered.

"If i have to listen to another Lord congratulate us on this affair then i shall take their head." Y/n for once agreed with Aemond as he stood, both bowing as Alicent quickly thanked everyone for coming to the feast, offering them more wine as the newly wed couple left the banquet hall. Y/n separating from Aemond once they were away from prying eyes, ready to walk to her chambers and be done with the whole charade of happiness.

"Where are you going?" Y/n turned to Aemond with an eyebrow raised, squaring her shoulders as she looked him up and down.

"To my chambers, where i wish to be alone after this awful event." Aemond let out a fake laugh, moving forward and gripping her arm as she tried to pull it free, pulling her closer so he could stare down at her.

"We both know our duty, you may be a bastard with no sense of duty or responsibility but i will not make a mockery of myself for you." Y/n ripped her arm from his hold as he nodded to guards, the men in armour standing behind the princess in seconds following the princes orders.

"Escort my wife to our chambers, i shall retire in a moment." The guards nodded before guiding Y/n away, her hand fisting her dress as she stared over her shoulder at Aemond, a smirk on his face at her forced obedience. 

"Your chambers Princess." The guard spoke, a small smirk on the corner of his lips as Y/n entered the room, a sneer on her face as she noticed the green decor, turning to the door and slamming it in the guards face. Her eyes looking over the room as she walked around the large quarters, a large fire place with three chairs resided against the left wall, a large four poster bed with green fabrics against the right as well as fur rugs to cover the stone floors. It was just the same as any quarters in the keep but it felt smaller, a lounger by the large window against the outer wall, tables and bookshelves filling up the empty corners. It was too crowded for her, although their was space for four people to live comfortably it seemed the walls would cave in on her if she stepped too close to one. Walking towards the top left of the room instead of a door to the bathroom only a frame, allowing for anyone in the bedroom to see through to the bath, whilst the toilet and sink were hidden in the corner and sectioned by a door. The bath was large enough for two to sit comfortably, a beautiful golden intricate tub in the middle of the stone floor, illuminated by candles and a window which shone the moonlight onto it. Running her hand along the tub she let her nails scrape, the noise piercing her ears and she was sure it would echo through the chambers if she were in the bedroom. This was a gilded prison, big enough that she could roam but secluded and intimate at the same time, he could see her anywhere if he so wished. Her thoughts interrupted as the doors to the chambers opened, Y/n walking slowly out the bathroom to see Aemond walk in, guards holding the doors open for him before closing them sharply. 

"I see you have become acquainted with our chambers, from now on this shall be where you reside." Y/n chose not to respond as she ran her hand along the fireplace, the fire barely lit but captured her attention, distracting her from Aemond as he glared at her dismissal of him.   

"Did you hear me?" Y/n turned her head to give him a bored stare before humming as she bent down to place a log onto the fire.

"I heard you Aemond, you do not have to act like such a petulant child when i do not speak to you. It is unbecoming." Aemond stepped closer to Y/n as she stood, wiping her hand against the white dress before turning to him. 

"Strip and lay on the bed, we shall have this done quickly." Aemond raised an eyebrow at Y/n's words as she began stripping only stopping as her dress fell to her feet, a white slip dress under barely covering her body from his view as she cocked an eyebrow.

"Did you not hear me Aemond? Strip." Aemond sneered at her as she stepped round him, his eye following her body as she collected a glass and poured herself a drink, placing a hand on her hip as she drank.

"You do not tell me what to do bastard, i will not take orders from you." Y/n rolled her eyes, walking towards Aemond before grabbing his tunic, pulling him around and walking him backwards until he hit the bed. Y/n standing over him for a moment as he tried to contain his shock and arousal at her boldness, Y/n pulling up her slip to straddle his lap, her hands working his belt before he gripped her hands.

"You are not in charge, your place is below me like every other wife in westeros." Aemond let go of her hands and readied to flip Y/n to the bed only to feel a cool blade against his throat, his own which had been against his hip until now. 

"You will stay below me, you are nothing but a boy trying to be a man. Pretending you do not find this arousing, being taken by a woman, by me, but i can feel your cock pushing against my thigh. Do your duty so i may do mine and this shall be over quickly." Aemond gently pulled the blade from his throat, allowing Y/n to throw it to the ground before continuing to remove his trouser, pulling his cock from them quickly. 

"I allow you to have this, remember this next time you think you are in control." Aemond spoke, running his hands along her thighs as she kneeled over his cock, his gaze between her legs as she roughly lowered herself. Y/n stared at the wall across from her, biting her tongue at the pain as she felt tears in her eyes and Aemond's hands move to her hips as she rolled them. Aemond's heated stare stayed where they connected, she could feel it burning into her stomach as she refused to look down at him, he would be able to see the tears brimmed in her eyes, the pain hidden in them and she would never give him the opportunity to see that. Her hands felt heavy against his chest as he moved his eye along her body, taking in how her body moved against him, how she squeezed him painfully. His hands tightening against her hips as he forcibly pushed her down, watching as her eyes screwed shut in pain making him smile to himself as he did it again, wanting to hear her whimper.  

"If you think i will allow you such a pleasure as to hear me cry or ask you to be gentle then you do not know me Aemond." Aemond let out a small laugh as he loosened his grip, allowing her to bounce at her own pace but Y/n refused to slow the pace Aemond had set, her nails digging into his clothes as she stared at the wall. Aemond could feel her against him, his chest moving up and down quicker as he felt her clench around him, his desire for her heightening as he watched her, the slip dress she wore barely hiding her body in the candle light although he refused to look at her face. Finding his pleasure quickly as he felt her nails scrape his skin over the tunic he still wore, the weight of her body against his pushing him closer as he held in a groan. Y/n could feel him twitch inside her, the pain slowly dissolving away as she continued to ride him, small spiked of pleasure shooting through her as she dug her nails deeper. Aemond tried to remind himself this was about duty as he gripped her hips, letting out a groan as he pushed her down, feeling her tighten around him once more, a sharp gasp coming from her as he pushed upwards into her. Y/n sat up, the angle deeper as she pushed his hands from her hips, riding harder until his head fell back, ready to cum as she threw herself off him, Aemond cumming with a shocked gasp, eyes shooting open and body jolting as Y/n watched his cum hit his stomach and groin. Her eyes wide before she scampered from the bed, grabbing the poster as her legs wobbled, a dull pain between her legs, pushing her slip dress down and rushing to the bathroom. Aemond stared at her, panting as he looked down at his lap, shocked she had moved so quick. Anger quickly filling him as he stood, throwing his tunic off as he felt the stickiness from sex begin to set in, his cock tucked into his trousers as he stormed into the bathroom. 

"You insufferable girl! Do you understand what you have done?" Y/n ignored Armond as she cleaned herself, throwing a wet wash cloth at him, Aemond catching it swiftly before cleaning his stomach.

"I understand perfectly, you may wish to breed me and have me disposed with pregnancy and children such as the late queen was but i am no fool. We have consummated, the marriage is true and we are no longer duty bound to perform such an act again." Aemond clenched his fist around the wash cloth before throwing it to the floor, he had been denied his pleasure and his desire to control her the way he wished. Walking towards her he gripped her chin, forcing her to look into his eye as she held his arm, her eyes steel.

"It is our duty to have heirs, next time i bed you, you shall be bred like the bitch you are." Aemond pushed her face away before turning and storming from the bathroom, grabbing his tunic as he left, Y/n flinching as the door slammed behind him. A sigh coming out as she looked at her wash cloth, blood staining the white as she placed it on the bath, a display for the queen and king. 

Hotd Taglist:

@smileykiddie08 @hannaeditzs @stuckinaf4nfiction @verybluntstoner @moonmaiden1996 @vaemmasworld @eonnyx @whitejuliana1204 @missusnora @applepyesworld @mingiholic @crownofdecit @destroyingdestiny @alexisabirdie @dudfahsn @littlebatsimagines @bloode-money @mooonlight-and-stars @xcharlottemikaelsonx @onemillionpeopleinone @random-human02 @hi-im-fan-trash @meilikki @sonnensplitter @jugheadisaweirdo @lomllino @celibacy-or-death @crazylokonugget @natashaxhellenic @here4thefanfic @bubblebuttwade @disturbing-love666 @sha-aesthic @solace-inu @rntrsna @jeyramarie @apollonshootafar @holb32 @pancakefancake@claudiajacobs @maeverae006 @stargaryenx @mirandastuckinthe80s @mingiholic @sarah-l-whiteman @miraclealignertlsp369 @hc-geralt-23 @rosaryos @pearlstiare @kpoploverxx-12@m00n5t0n3 @multifndom @pofties @thirsty4nonlivingmen @yor72 @savagejane1 @mxacegrey@its-halleys-comet @literishdegree99 @zillahvathek @remuslupinwifee @vainillasmil157@sophiexoxsblog @nupppuff @sophiexoxsblog @softtina @wallace02sblog @hotd-fanfic @priyajoyy

@flourishandblotts-inc @watercolorskyy @toodlesxcuddles @toodlesxcuddles @

#aemond targaryen x reader #prince aemond targaryen #aemond targaryen x reader smut #aemond smut #house of the dragon #hotd #hotd aemond #aemond targaryen

[brebreluvslove]

Love us too (neteyam/lo’ak x reader) 🧸 Part 1

notes; this is very rushed but tell me if you guys like this cause it’s gonna me a multiple part story. The characters will be aged up my a year or two for the story 💁🏾‍♀️

warnings; jealousy, some blood

characters; neteyam, lo’ak

𖤍 Love us too 𖤍

Jake Sully had stumbled across (Y/N) when she was only 7 years old. She wasn’t like the other Na’vi children, her skin was a shade of deep blue mixed with violet. The stripes along her body slightly darker than normal. When he brought her to Ney’tiri she immediately sensed this girl was different and convinced Jake to let her stay with them. Practically raised her as their own. (Y/N) was the same age as Lo’ak and Kiri and younger than Neteyam by a year. When Jake had first introduced (Y/N) to his children they were scared of her at first but as the years went by they began to trust her. The Sully brothers took an interest in her not like their sisters. ~ years later ~

The Omatikaya clan was on route to raid and destroy some of the sky people's supplies that were endangering their home somewhere deep in Pandora's forest. When Ney'tiri flew up next to Jake, yelling to the other Na'vis who were following them, Jake was leading the group of them on Banshees up in the air while brandishing a gun. The four of them flew across some of the smaller mountains before arriving at a man-made railway that had a train traveling on it that was painted yellow. Although there were two Aerospatiale SA-2 Samson aircraft flying on either side of the train to provide protection, the Na'vi still attacked.

"Ground team go!" Jake gave orders by pressing on the communication link around his neck as he talked while keeping his eyes on the foe. The train abruptly detonated some train tracks in front of it, causing it to swerve and scrape against the metal, igniting dazzling sparks as the ground group moved forward on their direhorses. The train ended up going off the now-broken tracks, causing it to break apart and flip over, triggering many additional explosions as all the sections were now divided by the explosion, which threw everything out of balance as the aircrafts had flown off course. Jake recognized an opportunity to strike and ordered his Banshee to descend directly onto the tools of the people in the skies. He let out a battle cry before firing his gun at one of the aircraft, causing it to catch fire and crash to the ground. Ney'tiri called out with a yip, pointed her Banshee at the remaining aircraft, prepared her bow and arrow, and then pulled it back to shoot. She yelled, releasing the arrow, which struck the sky guy inside the aircraft and killed him. She flipped the transport over with her Banshee and aimed again before releasing it to hit the pilot of the aircraft. She yipped as the aircraft slammed into the ground. Ney'tiri raised her arms in response to the collective loud yelps of the Na'vi on the direhorses as they cheered the action. All of the Na'vi who were present at this point fell to the ground and began gathering the weapons from the containers that were there. As Jake puts his hand on his communication device to resume speaking, he is standing on some explosion debris "Move along! Two minutes, people!" Three Banshees were hovering and observing the raid close above the scene in the sky.

The first banshee was Neteyam’s, second one Lo’ak’s and the third (Y/N)’s. They watch the raid happen from above as instructed by Jake. “ Guys we should go down there!” Lo’ak stated earning a disapproving look from Neteyam. “No dad told us to spot…” Neteyam paused and looked at (Y/N) and back at Lo’ak.

“…plus we have (Y/N) with us. Dad would skin us!” Neteyam explained. Lo’ak just laughed and looked at (Y/N) cockily. “Come on bro don’t be a wuss!” Lo’ak yipped as he flew down to the action causing (Y/N) to follow. Neteyam let out a sigh of annoyance as he followed as well. The minute they got on the ground Lo’ak called out to them “come on let’s go!”. (Y/N) began to follow causing Neteyam to grab her arm firmly so she wouldn’t end up getting in trouble with his idiotic brother of his. Lo’ak was handed a gun and some ammunition to load it. “ You don’t even know how to use that thing…” Neteyam commented. Lo’ak just clicked in the amo and look at (Y/N) with a proud look. Neteyam saw the act and just rolled his eyes. “Dad taught me!” Lo’ak said with a smirk. (Y/N) just laughed at his antics and then they heard someone yell.

“PULL BACK PULL BACK!!” As they started to move a bomb was dropped cause the all three of them to go flying in different directions. Jake saw this happen and flew down instantly. “It’s okay, you’re okay…” He said to calm Lo’ak down. He then realized he didn’t see (Y/N) or Neteyam. “Where’s your brother and (Y/N)!?” Jake asked shakily as he stared at Lo’ak.

“Over there!!” Lo’ak screamed as he got up and started to run towards them. Neteyam was supporting (Y/N) on one side because her leg was injured. Guilt covered Lo’ak’s face as he helped his brother support her.

~ at the camp ~ Neteyam got off his banshee and carefully pulled you off of yours as well as he saw his father approaching him. Lo’ak was next to him as well, they share a looking knowing they’re gonna get their asses handed to them in a couple seconds. “I let you go to raid and you disobey direct orders!” Jake bellows at the two boys. He glances at you still leaning on your banshee.

“And you put the one person in danger I told you to protect…” Jake continued. “Sir I take full responsibility…” Neteyam started before he gets interrupted by his dad.

“Yeah you should your the older brother you need to start acting like it…” Jake states firmly.

“Make sure she gets fixed up…” Jake orders looking at (Y/N). “…yes sir.” Neteyam obeys taking you to Mo’at for some healing remedies. Lo’ak and Jake are still there. Lo’ak having hundreds of thoughts rushing through his head.

“You could have gotten (Y/N) killed you know that?” Jake questions knowing his son already knows the answer. A guilty look takes over Lo’ak’s face as he realizes the danger he put his best friend in. “Your grounded and no flying for a month…” Jake stated as he began to walk away.

Lo’ak felt terrible for putting the girl he cared so much about in danger. It was still running in his kind the risk he put her in. At that moment he started to realize that he didn’t just care for her he loved her with all his heart. She always was in his mind but he never truly looked at his feelings before. But the one thing Lo’ak didn’t know was the exact same thoughts were running through Neteyam’s head as well…

notes; this took me way too long but the next part should be coming in the next to days and it will be longer don’t worry 😌

#avatar the way of water #avatar #neteyam #neteyam x reader #lo'ak x reader #loak x reader #lo’ak sully

[marquisegallery]

This took me. So long. To finish. I had hoped to finish it sometime in February, but now here we are. :u

Anyways! Much like the Devil Theory headcanons post I did a long while ago, this is a headcanons post for DOT EXE! All frickin' 8 of them!! Suffice to say this is going to be incredibly long, so keep that in mind before you jump into the Read More. You have been warned!! :P

(Also much like with Devil Theory, some of this might be based on stuff in the game, but a lot of it will just be "I personally think this would be neat!!")

There are going to be very many sections here, so I'm splitting them up to keep things organized and easier to follow. :u

The Overall Crew:

First and foremost, names! Plus heights, because I finally decided on heights for the individual members now :P

2 = Twoson (172 cm / 5’ 8")

4 = Fourside (173 cm / 5’ 8")

5 = Cinco (186 cm / 6’ 1")

8 = 8-ball (192 cm / 6’ 4")

9 = Neun (182 cm / 6’)

10 = Jūrō (178 cm / 5’ 10")

14 = Quatorze (196 cm / 6’ 5")

And then the cue ball member is just… Cueball, lol. He is 190 cm / 6’ 3". I was originally going to make him more-or-less the median height of the crew, but changed my mind later.

I know the 10 and 14 members found in the code aren't "official" members, especially since they seem to be just extra palettes for a potential playable 8-ball. But you know what, I made characters out of them anyways!! :P

Starting off with DOT EXE in general:

As mentioned in the game, they’re a group of full-cyber writers and breakdancers!! They also have a bit of a reputation as hackers, though truthfully it’s only some of them, specifically 8-ball, Neun, and Cinco. They’re the ones who came up with the name too, they just wanted something computer-y. It was originally just the three of them, and the others joined over time. In order, Quatorze and Jūrō were asked by 8-ball to join, then Twoson and Fourside asked to join after they went full-cyber, and then Cueball was the last to join.

Their writer aliases/street names are of course based on the billiard number shown on their screen faces. Which person gets which number was originally based on the actual number of letters in their real given name, but that doesn’t apply to Cueball, Twoson, or Fourside.

They have a reputation of being pretentious and stuck-up assholes (though at least not violent assholes like Devil Theory). They basically look down on most other crews as noobs, about the only writers they respect are DJ Cyber, Felix, and eventually BRC in general after the end of the game.

Of the current big crews in New Amsterdam, they’ve been operating the longest (with varying number of members of course), for about 2 decades at this point! However, them being an actual “big name” crew has only really happened in the past couple of years. They mostly stick to their own territory in Millennium Mall.

On that note! They literally own the mall. All of it. They collect rent from the various stores and companies operating in the mall. They keep the rent super low for local businesses so they can afford to compete with the big brands (especially huge international ones) that set up shop here. Meanwhile, said big brands are charged like five times more in rent. Of course, they’re never actually told that’s the case! Those companies even assume it must be the same for everyone else in the mall. The way DOT EXE spin it to them is along the lines of, “C’mon, don’t you want the prestige of having a store in the one and only Millennium Mall?!” Basically I imagine the Millennium Mall is a huge deal in that way, hence why the big companies don’t suspect anything’s off. :P

So yeah, DOT EXE make money that way. Even after taking out whatever has to be used for proper maintenance of the mall itself, for the most part they end up with a lot more than any of them need (especially since, being full-cyber, they don’t have to worry about food and stuff, just electricity and occasional maintenance/repairs). A lot of the money is saved for emergencies and fun stuff (like hobbies), and then they donate the rest to local charities.

The local businesses are aware of DOT EXE being the owners of the mall, and honestly don’t mind them being writers either! DOT EXE are also more reliable than the police when it comes to asking for help with a problem. In the case of shoplifters in particular, DOT EXE don’t even really punish the thieves, they’ll pay for whatever was stolen and ask if they need additional help (like if they only stole because they didn’t have a job and need help, etc).

The crew hate that the police can intervene at the mall, especially with the helicopters and walking tanks, not to mention the police tube things. They’ve tried to complain to the local government about it, but have been shot down every time. Now they will at the least sabotage the tubes and turrets whenever they can.

The mall is so big that there’s basically a huge solar panel farm on top. Whatever electricity doesn’t get used up by the mall ends up redirected to other parts of New Amsterdam that need it.

There’s also a whole community greenhouse up there! A rather illegal one actually, with New Amsterdam (currently) having some very strict regulations on larger-scale gardens and such (given there’s only one tree in the actual game, and it’s been dug up from Old Amsterdam). DOT EXE do not give a fuck about that clearly, and keep it operational. Especially since it’s a great source of food for a lot of people! DOT EXE managed to hack the local government offices to give the mall’s greenhouse an “official exception”, so the police have to (very begrudgingly) leave it be. Half the crew like the greenhouse since it’s such a great benefit for others, and the other half like it because they know it annoys the cops.

Their hideout is a small part of the mall that’s been sort of sectioned off just for them. Basically behind some pulled-down grates, a bunch of the stores behind said grates have been converted into rooms for them, and is collectively their hideout! There is an actual part of the mall in the game that looks like this, see below:

The rooms of the hideout are as follows: a main meeting/living room area (which also has a disused kitchen, since they don’t need to eat), a main rec area with a ton of custom arcade cabinets and hacked game consoles, a storage room, and then 4 personal rooms for the members, shared between a few of them. One for Cinco and Neun, another for Twoson and Fourside, another for Jūrō and Quatorze, and the last for 8-ball and Cueball. Though since 8-ball was killed, it’s been Cueball’s room by himself.

So yeah, they all live there, whereas pretty much every other crew has their hideout but then individual members (usually) live elsewhere.

They actually aren’t all the same age as the Oldheads, it’s just a cover so people don’t try and figure out any personal info about them. Specific ages/age ranges will be mentioned in individual sections, but really only 8-ball, Neun, and Cinco are around the Oldheads’ ages. Quatorze and Jūrō are actually a good chunk older than them, while Cueball, Twoson, and Fourside are all much younger.

Cueball in particular will always hide his real age, since part of it is related to how he went full-cyber. He will lie to most people and saying he's around the same age as 8-ball, Neun, and Cinco. He hates the pity he gets from people otherwise (more on this later!!).

Twoson and Foruside don't lie about their ages when asked, but would just say they were inspired by 8-ball, Neun, and Cinco to go full-cyber to keep being good dancers and writers. Meanwhile, Quatorze and Jūrō are pretty honest about why they actually did it (again, more on this later!!).

Their voice, outfits, and billiard screens are also covers for their identities!

For the voice, the idea is that there's a "default" voice all the DOT EXE folks use in public, but they still have their own voices based on how they sound from before going full-cyber (Twoson and Fourside are technically exceptions to this, but yeah, more on that later). Their actual voices are only used when they’re going around as “civilians” rather than writers, or otherwise in private at their hideout.

The tracksuits are basically just their costumes, similar to the costumes the other crews wear. So they do wear clothes besides the tracksuits. Sure, they don't really need to, but they like to! Especially when they're not out doing writer stuff, makes it easier for the cops to not suspect something. Each of them has their own personal style, which will be noted in the individual sections!

The screen face can be changed to different images. When they're out and about as "civilians", they tend to change their screens to sort of robotic faces, kinda similar to what non-screen cyberheads have. Those specific faces will be shown in the individual characters’ sections, with their "DOT EXE face" on the left and their individual faces on the right.

Combined with the difference in clothing and voices, it does a good job of actually hiding who they are from the cops!

Note that Cueball is an exception on the voice and screen thing, but I’ll get into that more in his section!

They are all gamers to some degree, otherwise why else would they have a rec room with so many games? They each have their own favorite genres, but overall play a wide variety of them. They’ll play by themselves or with each other depending on the game. The whole crew can get pretty competitive about high scores too, especially on the arcade cabinets!

They also each have their own hobbies outside of gaming, but again, another thing to mention in their own sections.

They all have the capability to communicate wirelessly like computers and phones, i.e. send messages directly to one another instead of to their phones. However, they don’t do that anymore. Mainly because the one time they tried to use it more often, Twoson, Fourside, and Cueball spammed so many memes to Neun that it caused him to crash. Hence why they still rely on text and calls like full-flesh writers, though some of them still do direct wireless messages to one another sometimes. Basically equivalent to whispering to someone so other people don’t hear them.

As full-cyber people, they all have sensors all over their bodies which can act the same as nerves. Detecting damage/pain, temperature, pressure/being touched, and even textures to a degree. The only difference is that these can be turned on or off, or even set to varying “levels” of sensing in between. Usually they turn down the pain/temperature detecting part of the sensors while they’re out (especially while doing writer stuff; basically just detecting damage/temperature without causing actual pain to them). They only turn them fully back on once they’re safe at their hideout.

🎱5️⃣9️⃣

8-ball, Cinco, and Neun in general:

They are basically the only ones that went full-cyber to be able to dance better for the most part, though they also did it to be able to get better as writers. None of them were particularly good at either of those before then, though they all clearly wanted to improve at it.

All three of them met and became friends via a transhumanism forum online, hence them going full-cyber together. The actual process is finished up around their 30s or 40s, and they're in their 60s by the time of the game.

Cinco is from Honduras and Neun is from Germany (or so he claims...). Meanwhile 8-ball was born and raised in New Amsterdam, though his father (who he shares with Cueball) had long since moved away to somewhere in the United States.

Both Neun and Cinco did writer stuff in their respective home cities, but 8-ball talked to them a lot about the writer scene in New Amsterdam, especially a lot of the big name writers at the time. That influenced all of them to want to get better at being writers, no matter what.

Once Neun and Cinco moved to New Amsterdam, 8-ball and them formed DOT EXE! They were all full-cyber by then, and practiced together to improve their skills, eventually becoming fairly big names like the other crews.

All three of them act (or acted in 8-ball’s case) as the IT people for the whole mall.

Them getting into hacking and computer stuff mostly started after they all went full-cyber, especially since all their augmentations made it a hell of a lot easier to do.

All three of them love rhythm games, but also have other genres they particularly like. They had rhythm game competitions between the three of them, and even with 8-ball gone, Neun and Cinco still do that from time to time.

On that note, yeah, in my ideas/AU/whatever you want to call it, 8-ball’s death is very much permanent. See this post with some further details on why that is, in particular how, just because his mind’s been digitized, doesn’t mean it’d be any easier to recover.

8-ball specifically:

8-ball refers to Cueball as his bro in the game, and I like to think they’re actual brothers and not just brothers-in-a-friend-way. For my headcanons, they’re actually half-brothers, but refer to each other as brothers anyways. 8-ball is the older of the two!

He’s a bit egotistical. Just a bit.

Kind of a daredevil too, compared to the others. He was like that before going full-cyber, but then after the conversion, being “effectively” invincible just made him more reckless. Dangerous stunts! Tagging more and more high up heaven spots! Getting heat up just to be able to fight the police! So on and so forth.

He is the one who designed the team’s graffiti in-universe, hence why their small tag is more related to him that the team overall. Like I said, bit of an ego on this guy!

He is the one who managed to get ownership of the whole mall, and then just splits the management and collected rent with the others. He actually managed to win ownership of the mall in a (very) risky game of poker. And he didn’t just made that up to sound cool, Cinco and Neun were actually there to witness it!

For his normal fashion style as a civilian, basically he just focuses on looking “cool”, in particular with cool jackets. This usually means jean jackets or leather biker jackets. Also tends to wear jean pants, and shirts with cool designs on them. Which is often stuff like sharks, wolves, dragons, volcanoes, lighting bolts, tornadoes, etc. Also cool shoes of course!

For his personal favorite video game genre, he likes playing shooters, but moreso arcade style shooters and SHMUPs instead of FPSs. Still kinda ironic, given what happened to him…

Real name Frederik Visser. He mainly got into transhumanism just because he thought it was cool, and eventually took it seriously and ended up on the forum where he met Neun and Cinco.

Cinco specifically:

From Cueball’s point of view, he’s the fun uncle!

Fluent in Spanish, speaks it with a Honduran accent. Sometimes uses Spanish words when talking casually, usually terms of endearment for others. Or insults/swears, because he finds it more satisfying to do so in Spanish, lol

Knows a ton of jokes, including puns, in several languages.

A charming guy, very outgoing and friendly with just about everyone!

Also a “he has your back when you need it” kind of pal to DOT EXE in general, but especially 8-ball and Neun. After 8-ball died, he got a bit more protective of Cueball too.

For his fashion style, he likes wearing patterned button-down shirts and sports shorts. For the shirts, of course that includes what’s called Hawaiian shirts, but really anything that has some sort of fancy/detailed patterned will catch his eye. Also tends to wear sandals/flipflops, or crocs.

He really likes racing games, also sports games in general!

Cinco was a bit of a jock type before going full-cyber on that note, playing a lot of sports back then too. He tried to get into various professional sports but never got very far. He’s good at whatever he plays, but evidently just not one of the best for it. Also doesn’t help that he never tried focusing on one particular sport at a time, to the point where he stretched himself thin after a while.

Occasionally plays basketball with the Franks, he’s actually good pals with them because of it!

Likes sports and muscle cars, though mostly driving them and not the maintenance part. He may or may not participate in drag races using stolen cars. Not that it’s hard to steal a car in New Amsterdam, there’s a lot of rich people with “smart” cars who don’t change the default passwords…

Real name César Hugo Raúl Garcia-Flores. On both sides of his family there’s histories of genetic illnesses, and after a certain point he was starting to show some early signs of them. This of course started affecting his health, and with his focus on sports and also wanting to get better as a writer/dancer, he ended up on the transhumanism forum to hopefully find a way to handle all that.

He genuinely didn’t intended to go full-cyber, just wanted to look into “less intensive” cybernetics. However, becoming friends with 8-ball and Neun and going over what they were planning themselves basically led Cinco to decide, “You know what? Might as well go all the way with this myself!”

A note on his full name, if people ask about it: he’ll say his parents couldn’t decide between the two middle names, and just gave him both. Meanwhile, neither parent was backing down about giving him one family name or the other, so they decided to just hyphenate it. But then they had an argument over the order (Garcia-Flores or Flores-Garcia), so they flipped a coin on it… that all being said, Cinco always says this like it’s another joke, so no one’s entirely sure if it’s the real story or not.

He had a boyfriend before going full-cyber. They broke up because of him hiding the fact he was planning to go full-cyber at all. Then again, them breaking up over that was inevitable anyways, because said boyfriend was the type of person to see cybernetics (especially full-cyber stuff) as something unnatural and disgusting. By the time of the game, Cinco has long since gotten over it (for the most part).

May or may not end up dating Escher, hee hee

Neun specifically:

From Cueball’s point of view, he’s basically the stern uncle lol

Has a bit of a “neutral” accent when speaking in his actual voice. It’s clear he’s hiding whatever his “real” accent is supposed to be, but no one knows what he naturally sounds like, not even 8-ball and Cinco. His voice gets shockingly deep when he’s angry, which is very rare.

Fluent in German and Spanish, having grown up speaking both languages. Claims to be from Germany. Though, he’s only ever spoken Spanish with Cinco in private “for some reason”...

… The reason being that he’s actually Argentinian (of German descent, hence him learning that language) and very much has the accent when speaking Spanish. Cinco clocked him as such when listening to him speak Spanish one time. Neun doesn’t want people to know that about him, so he’s sworn Cinco to never speak of it to anyone, even 8-ball. More on why later...

When in public, he basically puts up a front and acts the same kind of “dudebro” kind of way the rest of the members act. Outside of that, overall he’s a very serious and kinda cold guy, but he does genuinely care about his friends (and eventually the rest of the crew, though it took him a while to get there).

Between him, 8-ball, and Cinco, Neun is basically the “friend in charge of the one collective brain cell” kind of guy. It’s also why he’s second-in-command of DOT EXE, becoming the leader once 8-ball is killed.

Also the crew’s accountant, mostly in charge of sorting out collecting rent from the businesses in the mall. He gives a lot of leeway for local businesses if they’re late on rent, but gives no such mercy to the bigger brands in the mall.

Likes to stay organized. He will pick up after the others if they leave a mess, but will also complain and berate them while doing so.

Not exactly a fan of jokes or pranks. He dislikes puns in particular and finds them genuinely annoying (not in a “Damn it, I wish I thought of that myself!!” kind of way). He makes an exception for Cinco’s jokes, but mostly out of politeness as a friend. And even then it’s not like Neun will laugh, he’ll just politely stay quiet and shake his head.

For his normal fashion outside of the tracksuits, well, Neun can be described as looking like a stereotypical nerd. This means collar shirts and khaki pants, lol

Neun likes playing RPGs and strategy games, though he’s very old school and picky about what he plays. If it doesn’t have some sort of hard mode, at the very least a hard mode that can be modded in, he won’t bother with it. Just as an example, he likes playing Pokemon games but only with modded super hard modes and with Smogon-style strategies and team builds.

Claims his real name is Sebastian Jäger. He was originally just on the transhumanism forum out of curiosity, not really taking it seriously. However, at one point he had a mid-life crisis related to mortality, especially after having to deal with a string of family deaths around the same time. With him wanting to be a better writer and breakdancer, at that point he felt like he had limited time to even live at all, let alone enough time to improve at either of those.

Hence why he started being more active on the forum and looking into full-cyber conversion in particular, and that eventually led to him becoming friends with 8-ball and Cinco. He’ll never admit to this though.

He’ll also never admit that he accidentally crossed the wrong people on his journey to both go full-cyber and move to New Amsterdam. He’s convinced they’re still looking for him, even if the chances are incredibly slim. Thus why he’s hiding at least part of his origins...

His actual real name is Sebastián Montero, but again, he’s basically in hiding right now. "Jäger" was apparently the family name of an ancestor of his.

(1️⃣4️⃣) 🔟

Quatorze and Jūrō in general:

Quatorze is French, and Jūrō is of Japanese descent, both born and raised in France. Both can of course speak French, with their real speaking voices having a Parisian French accent. Jūrō is also fluent in Japanese.

They were both big time writers in their youth, with stories about them being what inspired 8-ball to become a writer in the first place! Then him talking about them to Cinco and Neun is what collectively pushed all three of them to want to get better at being writers.

They are a married couple and still consider themselves married as wife and husband, even after going full-cyber together (technically they are considered legally dead and thus no longer married, but screw the laws man).

On that note, surprise, Quatorze is actually a woman! Thanks to the default voice for the crew and the tracksuits, everyone just assumes she’s a man without hearing her real voice. That’s intentional, I’ll get into it a bit more in her specific section.

They are very, very loving to each other. Think Gomez and Morticia Addams, just without a morbid humor angle. Jūrō basically praises and is encouraging of everything Quatorze does, and Quatorze love to compliment him for anything he does too. Though sometimes it does get on her nerves, and he apologizes when she asks him to dial it back a bit. But also they have the mushiest pet names for each other.

They are both willing to kill and be killed for the sake of their spouse, but of course each of them would prefer that the other not going that far.

They see 8-ball, Cinco, and Neun as their peers. Meanwhile, both of them dote on Cueball, Twoson, and Fourside like their actual kids/grandkids. Cueball finds it annoying but secretly likes it, meanwhile Twoson and Fourside outright call them Granny and Granpy respectively.

Real names Marie-Madeleine Lucille Perrault, and Maximilien Théodore Perrault, respectively. Their backstory of how they went full-cyber is connected, so I’ll just go over it here: Tragically, in their 70s, Quatorze got cancer at some point, a kind that was unfortunately very hard to treat. She had the option to go full-cyber instead of continuing risky treatment just to potentially die due to being weakened by said treatment. And her husband Jūrō also went full-cyber to be able to stay with her!

Unfortunately, their kids were not happy with that. For some of them, there was confusion about how inheritance would work (eventually finding out that Quatorze and Jūrō would be considered legally dead anyways, so it was “fine”). For others, it’s moreso that they had already accepted that their mom will die, only for her to choose to keep living in the most “selfish” and “unnatural” way possible.

Suffice to say, Quatorze and Jūrō have not spoken to their kids since then, and they haven’t seen their grandkids since then either. They’re more torn up about not seeing their grandkids (they weren’t exactly happy with their kids fighting over inheritance and criticizing their parents’ decision on how to keep living). For the most part they’ve come to accept they’ll never see them again, but Jūrō is secretly holding onto hope they might see their grandkids again someday…

After the two of them went full-cyber, sometime later 8-ball reached out to them, having heard about what happened to them. He was basically like, "Hey you guys were big inspirations to us as writers! Wanna join our new full-cyber crew??" (at that point it was just him, Cinco, and Neun). They responded, "Well, we're not sure how to spend our retirement now, so sure! :)" So by the time of the game’s events, they’re in their 80s.

Quatorze specifically:

She’s basically the team mom! Very caring towards everyone in the crew, but also more than willing to put her foot down to get them to behave when needed.

Before going full-cyber, she was an actress. Her pretending to be a man when out and about as a writer is mainly to hide her identity. She was fairly famous at her peak, so even with her being “legally” dead, she doesn’t want people to find and bother her, especially not any overzealous fans. She does look back on her past work with fondness though, some of her favorite roles was getting to play as hammy, over-the-top villains in cartoons, animated movies, and live action movies.

Though as an actress, her pretending to be a man while in public as DOT EXE (including using the default voice the same as the others) is also just another role for her. She finds it a lot of fun!

She knits, as well as crocheting, weaving, and other crafts involving threads and such. She will knit you a sweater/scarf/hat if you ask politely!

For her civilian fashion, she likes wearing sweaters and long skirts. Sometimes she wears sundresses with a nice sunhat during the summer months, even if it’s not really necessary as a full-cyber person. She has fancier dresses she wears for date nights with Jūrō.

Her favorite kinds of video games are puzzle games and ‘slow’ platformers, mainly things along the lines of Klonoa, Kirby, Mario, and Banjo-Kazooie.

Jūrō specifically:

He’s basically the team dad! Very supportive of his crew mates. He leaves being the “stern parent” to Quatorze though, especially since Jūrō tends to be too soft on someone if they messed up or started issues with the rest of the crew. It was the same when they were full-flesh with their kids and grandkids, he’s mainly just afraid of seeming too “mean”.

Unfortunately he can’t do dad jokes, but at least Cinco has that covered, lol

He worked as an accountant, but didn’t like the work very much. He was able to be a stay-at-home dad once Quartorze’s acting career really took off!

He likes to garden, and he’s the one that works the most on the mall’s greenhouse.

For his civilian fashion, usually wears nice pants (like the kind for suits) + long button-down shirts. Also wears sweater vests that his wife makes for him! He has full suits and waistcoats for date nights with Quatorze.

His favorite kinds of video games are life sim games, such as Animal Crossing and Stardew Valley (“If only growing plants were this easy in real life!”). He also likes idle games, especially ones that don’t demand his attention too much.

2️⃣4️⃣

Twoson and Fourside in general:

Yes, their names are references to the Earthbound towns of the same name. They picked out their own billiard numbers to specifically make that reference, lol

Twoson is agender (they/he) and Fourside is nonbinary (also they/he). Note that they were like this long before going full-cyber, since some people may assume it happened because of the transition.

For their voices, they actually only use their real voices when they’re alone together in private, and no one else knows what they “really” sound like. When out as civilians or in private with their crewmates, they use different synthesized voices from the one used for DOT EXE. Their specific synthesized voices will be noted in their individual sections.

For their civilian screen faces, these two will actually change them to express certain emotions, usually with very anime-esque stuff (eye shines, exaggerated evil grins, etc). Other members will just keep their faces static and express themselves through their voice and hand/body movement.

They are both pranksters, they love to cause mischief and mayhem! Not even their own crewmates are safe.

They get along with Cueball in a sort of sibling way. Sometimes getting along great, other times being at each others’ throats (i.e. Cueball vs. Twoson and Fourside, the two of them are deep friends and have never really fought each other).

Jūrō has taught both of them Japanese. He insisted on it after hearing them talk (or rather, trying to talk) in Japanese once, they were really horrible at it before his lessons. They both also know a bit of Spanish from Cinco.

Between the two of them, they have a huge anime and manga collection! I will mention some of their individual favorite genres for that in their respective sections.

They make video games! Just as a hobby, so all the games they make are free. Said games are mostly in the form of super hard ROM Hacks, or weird/eccentric/trippy games (think along the lines of Yume Nikki, OFF, Hylics, Space Funeral, Goblet Grotto, LSD Dream Emulator, etc.). Neither of them can code very well, so they usually convince/force Cueball into helping them with their various projects. What they provide for said projects themselves is mostly the ideas (both of them), music (Twoson specifically), and art assets (Fourside specifically).

Suffice to say, the games they make are not ones that any of the other DOT EXE members normally play. Neun has played some of the ROM hacks they’ve made for RPGs though, mostly because of the ridiculous challenges they put in.

They both have similar tastes in music, usually stuff that is fairly “eccentric” compared to mainstream music. Basically along the lines of Caravan Palace, Will Wood, Lemon Demon, Jack Stauber, GHOST and Pals, Vane, and R.I.P.. Also enjoy a lot of Vocaloid and Synthysizer V songs, especially the more creepy and macabre stuff.

On that note, they’ve definitely hijacked the mall’s sound systems to play their favorite songs as pranks on people more than once.

They both really like horror games. With poorly made ones, they only play them to riff on them and make fun of their game design. They may or may not have a YouTube channel dedicated to this. They may or may not also do streams as vTubers on that note…

Honestly they like horror content in general. Movies, novels, games, anime, manga, comics, TV shows, art… they’d probably get along great with Daishō!

Real names are Beau Driessen and Robin Zaal respectively. Like with Quatorze and Jūrō, Twoson and Fourside’s backstories are connected. Twoson was severely injured in what was ruled an “accident”, to the point of only having two options: go full-cyber, or just stay bedridden for the rest of their life. Meanwhile, Fourside went full-cyber in order to bury their old identity, after having taken care of the people who caused the “accident”. Both of them going full-cyber happened in their late 20s, they're both about 35 now.

They were both writers before going full-cyber, and the “accident” was caused by some rivals they had to deal with. After the conversion, they heard about DOT EXE as a full-cyber crew, and decided to join up with them.

They are very protective of one another. Fourside in particular will get very vicious against anyone who tries to hurt Twoson, even if it’s another DOT EXE member.

They’re also the type to use insults to show affection to each other, “You nerd!”, “You’re such a dork!”, etc. Towards anyone else, it’s genuine insults.

Twoson specifically:

The voice they use when going around as a civilian is an androgynous synthesized voice that’s a bit on the higher side.

Twoson is the nicer of the two, for what it’s worth, but still tends to be obnoxious at times. They also like to be fakely sweet sometimes, especially when trying to get a favor out of someone else.

For fashion, Twoson likes wearing a jean vest covered in a ton of buttons. They also like to wear skirts over cargo capris, tie-dye shirts, chokers/collars, and headbands which have been modified to fit over their head.

They like to do craft stuff sometimes, like origami, needle felting, papercraft, and clay sculptures. They also make the buttons and tie-dye shirts that both themself and Fourside wear.

They make music! The best way to describe it is very weird and also sometimes creepy. Basically ranging from quirky digital/midi music, to dreamy but still unnerving drones and tones, to Silent Hill 1 industrial scary noises.

Besides horror video games, they really like dating sims and visual novels. They have a whole menagerie of what they call their fictional spouses.

Twoson likes the magical girl genre in particular for anime and manga. They actually really hate shows like Puella Magi Madoka Magica that try to subvert the genre or otherwise do an intentionally “edgy” take on it. A lot of magical girl series already have dark themes anyways!

Fourside specifically:

The voice they use when going around as a civilian is an androgynous synthesized voice that’s a bit on the lower side.

Fourside is the meaner of the two, for what it’s worth. They’re more quick to genuinely insult people and use a lot of sarcasm. However, they will be respectful when it counts, usually only for other DOT EXE members.

For fashion, Fourside also likes wearing a jean vest with tons of buttons and tie-dye shirts, like Twoson does. They also wear a skirt over skinny jeans, lots of bracelets, and beanies that Quatorze has made for them.

On that note, Quatorze made some of the thread/string bracelets that Fourside wears, and she showed them how to make bracelets on their own too. So the rest are the ones Fourside made! You can tell which ones were from when they first started out, and which ones are more recent and thus better quality. They’ve also made some of the collars/chokers that Twoson wears.

Fourside does digital art in the form of 3D models and complex MS Paint stuff. They mainly do this just to make weird stuff and put it out their for people to enjoy. A lot of it is very abstract and weird, with a sort of “old-school Internet” vibe a la ENA/Eastern Mind: The Lost Souls of Tong-Nou/Disillusion ST/Hylics/etc.

Besides horror video games, they really love beat ‘em ups and fighting games! Do not challenge them to some of the big ones (Street Fighter, Tekken, Smash Bros, etc.) unless you want to lose.

Fourside has no particular favorite genre for anime/manga, but tends to like series that end up categorized as shōnen. Also really enjoys superhero tokusatsu shows and movies (i.e. stuff like Super Sentai/Power Rangers, Kamen Rider, Ultraman, etc).

Cueball

He’s the lovable goofball basically. Lots of joking around and teasing people, especially his friends! That’s basically how he shows affection a lot of the time.

Though he’s also fiercely loyal to his friends and crew. Mostly because despite being friendly and outgoing, he doesn’t exactly have a lot of friends outside of DOT EXE. Eventually that changes once he joins BRC, but he still cares about and hangs out with his old crewmates.

He’s from the United States, and 8-ball helped him with moving to New Amsterdam.

He loves cats! Before he went full-cyber, he was very allergic to cats and wasn’t allowed to have any because of that. After going full-cyber, he eventually realized he didn’t have to worry about allergies anymore. And so he set out to adopt ALL the cats, lol. It got bad enough to be a hoarding situation, and the rest of DOT EXE at the time (8-ball, Cinco, and Neun, this being before any of the other and Cueball himself joining) had to step in for an intervention. They got the cats rehomed or put in adoption centers/cat shelters, and Cueball decided to just volunteer at those shelters to help out. A much better situation for everyone involved, especially the cats!

Cueball owns a ton of blankets and pillows, and likes to make his own pillow forts and stuff in his room for Extra Comfort. Also sometimes throws them in a clothes dryer to make them warm. With the thing about body sensors for full-cyber people I mentioned earlier, Cueball is of course the one that takes full advantage of the sensors whenever he can!

Quatorze has made whole blankets for Cueball. He doesn’t like to admit it, but he does appreciate those blankets, they’re very comfy.

His favorite kinds of video games are action, action-adventure, and search action (a.k.a “Metroidvania”).

Cueball hates his real voice for the most part, and he’s the only one who will keep using the default DOT EXE voice even when alone with the rest of the crew. They do know what he sounded like before he used that default voice (he only started using it all the time after he joined DOT EXE), but it’s been so long that most of them have forgotten it by now.

When it comes to fashion, Cueball’s “style” is more about comfort than anything else. Hoodies! Sweatpants! Sweaters! Oversized t-shirts! Comfy socks! Super comfy sneakers! Sometimes various winter hats if he can find any that will fit over his head lol. He has a ton of stuff that Quartoze has made for him, though he feels embarrassed to actually wear them outside of the hideout.

As mentioned previously, he doesn’t bother changing his screen face to a different one from his billiards face. Though he will change the red triangle in the middle to different emojis or reaction images/gifs for expressions. Or otherwise to mess with people.

So Cueball is the only one who doesn't bother with the voice changing nor face changing. The only thing different is his clothes. If a cop suspects he's the same Cueball from DOT EXE, he basically goes, "Oh? You think I look like a criminal just because I'm full-cyber too? Prejudice much?!" and that actually gets them to back down most of the time lol

He used to do programming and other computer related tasks (including messing with servers and hardware) as a job after going full-cyber and before eventually joining DOT EXE. He’s still good at those things too! But at least now he keeps up with those more as a hobby, which he honestly prefers. He thus tends to refuse to help with the IT stuff for the mall, he’s sick of doing that kind of thing for work.

He wanted in on the crew mostly because he was sick of feeling “left behind” by everyone else whenever they’d go out to do writer stuff. By the time he joined, Quatorze, Jūrō, Twoson, and Fourside had already become part of the crew.

He’s the only DOT EXE member with no prior experience as a writer (especially before going full-cyber), and so he’s had to put in a lot of practice with the rest of the crew. Due to his lack of skills, he was only really allowed to join because his older brother 8-ball let him join, and even then only after Cueball begged him about it a lot.

On that note, and as mentioned in 8-ball’s section, Cueball and 8-ball are specifically half-brothers. They cared about each other, and 8-ball very much tried to help out his little brother whenever he could. Back when the two of them were still full-flesh, they weren’t too close, but at least kept in touch via email and sometimes actual postcards despite the age difference between them. Mostly 8-ball wanted to be sure Cueball had another adult he could turn to if he was in trouble, because he knows how their dad is.

After moving to New Amsterdam, they did get a little closer as brothers. Cueball has a lot of admiration for his older brother because of his writer activities, though sometimes Cueball would be annoyed or even hate 8-ball for (in his eyes) “babying” him when 8-ball was just trying to keep him safe. Eventually, sometime after 8-ball died, Cueball mostly just regrets not really knowing 8-ball that well in the end.

Cueball starts trying to get into rhythm games after 8-ball’s death, and he even tries to join in on the rhythm game competitions with Cinco and Neun. He’s getting pretty good at it!

He does a lot of pranks with Twoson and Fourside. Also prank wars between the three of them! Neun makes a point to have plans outside of New Amsterdam for the weeks surrounding April Fools Day, while the rest of the crew just roll with it.

Besides Twoson and Fourside, Cueball gets along fairly well with Cinco, Jūrō, and Quatorze. For the last one, he has accidentally called her mom once, and he had her swear to never tell anyone else what happened.

He’s dating Bō! Cueball is really big on physical touch as a show of affection. He is thus incredibly cuddly and big on handholding and hugs! He also cuts back on the jokes and teasing just for Bō (for the most part).

He used to do a lot of cooking and baking before he went full-cyber. Once he started dating Bō, he actually go back into cooking to be able to cook stuff for his boyfriend! He still remembers all of the recipes he tried out, plus reads up on new ones to try. Unfortunately, due to of course having no sense of taste now, he has to either use recipes that don’t need tasting in between steps, stick with recipes that he already knows Bō likes, or otherwise make sure Bō is around for taste-testing.

Bō is the only one who knows what Cueball’s real voice sounds like, and even then Cueball only uses it when they’re alone together in private.

Real name Ernesto Alberto Visser. Cueball got Covid when he was about 15. The resulting long Covid was bad enough that, in his early 20s, he decided to just go full-cyber instead of continuing to suffer. His older brother 8-ball helped him out with that. At first it was just helping him move to New Amsterdam to get better medical treatment (and to get away from their dad and Cueball’s mom for that matter) once Cueball turned 18. Eventually that lead to helping Cueball with going full-cyber once the treatments proved ineffective. He did so sometime after 8-ball, Neun, and Cinco went full-cyber themselves. Cueball is about 43 during the time of the game.

Cueball originally had plans to become a chef or at least a baker, but when he got sick, part of the problems from his Covid infection was that his sense of taste got completely messed up. He was originally going to do programming as a hobby thing. But once he went full-cyber, he did programming as a full time job since he didn’t have anything else going for him, until eventually joining DOT EXE many years later.

Because of why he went full-cyber, he is distrustful of doctors (due to both the quack doctors his parents forced him to see to pretend that his Covid symptoms “weren’t that bad”, and the actual doctors later on who knew how serious his condition was but couldn’t do much for him anyways). He insists on accompanying his full-flesh friends to their doctor appointments to make sure they’re safe!!

#bomb rush cyberfunk #bomb rush cyberfunk headcanons #brc headcanons #brc dot exe #dot exe OCs #they might as well be OCs at this rate yeesh!! #kinda like what happened with Devil Theory :u #fan art

[pandenewie]

GAMEBOY

SYNOPSIS:

Heeseung visits the same Gamestop every Tuesday and Thursday after his afternoon lecture. Not only because of the hidden gems he finds in the two for one sales bin, but also because of the insanely cute worker who just picked up that shift…

PAIRING: heeseung x fem!oc

GENRE: nonidol!au, college!au, slow burn, strangers to ???, fluff, angst (light)

WORD COUNT: 6.9k

AN: This is a special chapter for my Sunghoon smau “Diary of a Homewrecker” which you can read here :) You don’t need to read the smau to understand this fic. Can be read as x reader if you want, just change the name to y/n :)

Read part 2 here :))

Everyone who knows Lee Heeseung knows that he’s not the most… romantic of people. Not to say he doesn’t try - the amount of rom coms in his Netflix “Watch again” section could put your average 15 year old girl to shame. But despite the amount of “research” he’s done, all Heeseung’s relationships tend to end before they even begin. Maybe some people just aren’t cut out for romance. And some people just don’t know when to quit…

“I know you think I’m crazy but I promise you, we were flirting.” Heeseung repeats, for probably the 5th time since he got in the car. After years of friendship with the older boy, Jay knows it’s best to just hum and nod in agreement whenever Heeseung get’s like this. Heeseung is a handsome dude. So honestly, the chance of some random girl at their college campus flirting with him is quite large. But is it worth making this much of a fuss about it? Absolutely not.

This is how it always goes with Heeseung. He’ll show interest in someone, talk about them non-stop for a few days, go on a date or two if he’s lucky, before the whole thing ends within about a week. It’s a pattern the boys have become very familiar with - so much that there’s a shared schedule between the other 6 friends for who’s on “Heartbroken Heeseung Duty”.

Jay knows this won’t end any differently from the other times Heeseung has found “the one”. Hell, the whole world probably knows at this point. But with Heeseung being such a hopeless romantic and the glimmer of hope in his eyes as he recounts the story once again, Jay doesn’t have the heart to tell him.

It’s not creepy. At least that’s what Heeseung tries to tell himself, as he walks through the sliding doors of the all-too-familiar Gamestop. He’s certainly no stranger to this place - the cream coloured brick and vibrant “For Sale” signs giving a sense of familiarity. Hell, this place is like a second home at this point. So why does Heeseung feel so anxious today?

Well for starters, it’s Friday. Which marks this momentous occasion as his third Gamestop trip this week. Although many would argue that Heeseung has a gaming addiction, three trips in one week is definitely a first.

Despite Heeseung’s life being what many would call a mess, he has very few routines that he absolutely swears by. Visit Gamestop on Tuesday after his lecture, pick out the games he wants to buy, and hide them at the very bottom of the sales bin. Then, once he gets paid Wednesday night, he’ll come back on Thursday to buy the games. That’s the way it’s been since he started university and it’s something he never planned on changing. That was until he saw her.

Now Heeseung never really paid much attention to the workers at Gamestop. They were usually socially awkward teens just trying to make a few bucks and therefore never stood out to him. Until this week…

As soon as the familiar beep of the sliding doors rings through the air, Heeseung makes a b-line for the sales bin at the back of the store. The shop is as quiet as it normally is at 2pm on a Tuesday, leaving Heeseung to comfortably browse before having to pick Ni-ki up from school at 3.

Just as he is deciding between two games, he feels a presence come up behind him - making him internally groan at the thought of communication with another person. But a sudden cherry voice breaks through his sour mood, causing his ears to prick up at the melodic sound.

“Hi! Is there anything I can help you with today?” 

Heeseung turns around to find himself face to face with one of the most beautiful women he’s ever seen. With big sparkling eyes and a grin that seems to light up the room - honest to god, if she weren’t standing right before his very eyes, he’d assume she wasn’t real. But as her head tilts in slight confusion - the bright smile not leaving her face, he releases that she is in fact real and he is in fact staring.

Clearing his throat nervously, Heeseung looks away from the girl - suddenly finding some co-op game on the shelf incredibly interesting. “J-just looking, thanks.” He manages to let out, mentally cursing himself for the stutter and waver in his voice.

The girl's smile seems to grow even more, if that’s even possible. Her eyes crinkle as she gently bows to Heeseung. “Ok, if you need anything don’t be afraid to ask. I’ll just be at the front desk.” She says before retreating to her former position.

Heeseung lets out the breath he didn’t realise he was holding as he watches her walk away. That had to be one of the most awkward interactions he’d had in a while. And yet, he’d do almost anything to experience it again. Because no amount of awkwardness could override the pure warmth he felt in the presence of the strange girl.

So here he stands on a Friday afternoon, mindlessly flicking through the games he has no intention of buying as his gaze focuses once again on the girl at the counter. Part of him is just happy to see her face. The way her eyes light up when a customer purchases a game she’s particularly interested in. The way she laughs and jokes around with her coworkers when the store’s a little quiet. But another part of him wishes it was him. That he’s the one she enthuses over games with. He’s the one making her laugh as if he’s just told the best joke of the decade. For now though, he’s more than happy just to watch. 

It’s not creepy.

“It is kinda creepy hyung.” Ni-ki mumbles from his position on the couch. Although his focus appears to be on the game he is currently playing, he couldn’t help but listen intently as Heeseung retold the events of his Gamestop trip.

“Hey! I’m not creepy!” Heeseung exclaims in offence, causing his younger friend to roll his eyes. “I never said you were creepy, just that your actions are.” Ni-ki states matter-of-factly. “Because you’d be so much better.” Heeseung bites back, ripping the controller out of his friend’s hand when the flashing “You Died” comes across the screen. Ni-ki scowls at his hyung as he lays back into the couch. “At least I can talk to girls.” He mumbles, thankful that his friend doesn’t hear the words.

A few weeks pass until Heeseung see’s who his friends have affectionately dubbed “Gamestop Girl” again. Not once in those weeks did she leave his mind; a pang of disappointment hitting his chest each time he entered the store, only to find some pimply high schooler instead. But boy, were those weeks of disappointment worth it for the image in front of him.

Heeseung didn’t think that she could get any brighter - any more perfect. Her warm and cheerful smile was now matched with the golden glow of her skin, indicating a possible vacation (which would explain her weeks of absence). Her hair, slightly longer than before though not enough for the regular person to notice. Heeseung noticed. To put it simply, she was absolutely breathtaking.

“Sale bin guy!”

The sudden exclamation breaks Heeseung out of his thoughts as he looks around the room for the origin of the sound. As his eyes land back on the girl, he sees her already looking at him with her familiar smile. That’s when it dawns on him that he is in fact “Sale Bin Guy”.

“Uh.. what?” Heeseung stutters out as she makes her way towards him. “You always come for the sale bin, right? There’s some nice hidden gems in there - I was actually just on my way to restock it.” She rambles on, walking to the back of the store where the bin is located. Heeseung’s feet seem to move on their own as he follows her to the back of the store.

“So, are you looking for anything particular today?” She asks as she begins filling the sale bin with all sorts of games. “I was kinda hoping you’d have Halo - one of my friend’s has been begging me to play.” He says, taking note of each game as she puts them in the bin. “We have Halo, not on sale though. It’s super popular so it’s usually full price unfortunately.” She says, sending him a quick sympathetic smile. Heeseung immediately decides he doesn’t like this smile as much.

“That’s why I haven’t got it yet, it doesn't really fit my broke college student aesthetic.” He jokes, feeling a sense of pride when she giggles a little. “Maybe if you weren’t buying the sale games every week you could save up for Halo.” She says, causing Heeseung to laugh sheepishly. “I’ve got a feral teenager at home who goes through games like he’s getting paid so… I’ll stick to the sale bin for now.” Heeseung says. Although it isn’t a joke, the girl laughs anyway and that sense of pride shoots through Heeseung once again.

The pair continue to make small talk as Heeseung looks through the games and he only suddenly realises that she’s wearing a nametag. Whilst trying to be as subtle as possible, he glances down at the tag and smiles as he reads the name - Ari.

“Ari, huh?” Jay asks, not even remotely enthusiastic to be talking about his friend’s love life. This one has lasted much longer than the others, he’ll give him that. But it’s not like this has actually gone anyway either.

“Isn’t it just perfect?” Heeseung sighs, his lovestruck tone making Jay want to vomit. “And how many times have you spoken to her?” He asks, causing Heeseung to blush with embarrassment. “Well… technically twice. If you count the first one.” He mumbles, making Jay snicker. “And you’re already head over heels for her? That’s weird, even for you.” Jay says, making Heeseung roll his eyes.

“Didn’t you tell your ex that you loved them after like, 2 days?” Heeseung asks. Now it’s Jay’s turn to roll his eyes - his past relationship often being brought up in an attempt to prove a point. “At least I was dating them! What do you even know about this girl aside from where she works?” Jay asks, going back on topic.

Heeseung stays silent as the realisation hits that he, in fact, knows nothing about Ari. Well that certainly needs to change.

“Can you request some games?” Heeseung asks, practically interrupting Ari as she went to greet him. She looks at him a little in shock before breaking out into her all familiar smile. “Well nice to see you too, what sort of thing are you after?” She asks. “Anything? I just got a Nintendo Switch and all I have is Super Smash Bros and this one about a cup.” Heeseung says, nervously rubbing the back of his neck. “Cuphead? Yeah that one can be kinda weird for new players.” Ari giggles slightly before taking Heeseung towards the switch games.

“Well, I’m certainly the girl you’re looking for; me and my switch are basically attached at the hip.” Ari jokes as she looks at the games they have lining the shelves. “You said you already have Smash Bros which would be one of my go-tos. Another would probably be Animal Crossing which you’ve no doubt heard of?” Ari asks, turning back to see Heeseung nod enthusiastically. “Yeah, so that’s super fun if you’re into more chill games. I personally find it very therapeutic but I can also spend all day playing it so you’ve gotta be careful.”

“Then there’s super well known games like Legends of Zelda, Sonic, and other Mario games. They’re the typical ones that you would get in a beginner switch pack. Zelda’s probably my favourite out of those ones but the others are good too.”

“There’s also a whole punch of Pokemon games. I’m probably not the best to recommend those since I know nothing about Pokemon aside from the fact that they’re cute. But I’ve heard they’re good so if you’re into that it’s worth a try.”

Heeseung honestly feels like he should be taking notes with the amount of information Ari is spitting at him. It’s very clear that she rambles when she gets excited, which Heeseung can’t help but smile at.

“So… see any you like?” Ari asks, beaming up at him as her rant comes to an end. “Uh… I’ll be honest I kinda blanked out. You’re just like… really cute.” Heeseung admits, mumbling the last part. If Ari heard it, she certainly acts like she didn’t as she playfully rolls her eyes at him. “How about you start with Animal Crossing and Zelda? Those are my favourites.” She suggests. “Plus, they’re on sale right now, so perfect for a broke college student.” She adds, a slight teasing tone in her voice. Heeseung just nods in agreement as he follows her up to the counter.

“I’m Heeseung by the way.” Heeseung suddenly says as she’s checking out his items. He’s not sure why he tells her his name - maybe it’s just an excuse to keep talking? “Nice to meet you Heeseung, I’m Ari but you probably already know that.” She says smiling. “Yeah… it’s a really beautiful name.” He says without thinking, causing her smile to widen as she thanks him.

“I’ll tell you what, Heeseung.” Ari says, grabbing a pen as his receipt starts to print out. Once printed, she flips over to the blank side and starts writing something down. “That’s my Nintendo ID and Discord. Animal Crossing can be multiplayer, so once you’ve established your island a little… I’d love to have a look.” She says.

“I can’t believe you’re ditching us to play Animal Crossing with some chick.” Jake grumbles as he pushes his way into Heeseung’s apartment. Sunghoon quickly follows suit, sending Heeseung a disapproving look before sitting on the couch. “I literally see you guys all the time and I don’t know when I’ll get to play with her again. Don’t act like you guys wouldn’t do the exact same thing.” Heeseung rolls his eyes. “Jake wouldn’t know, he’s never had a girlfriend.” Sunghoon teases, causing Jake to shove his shoulder. “Says the guy who can’t even talk to his crush!” A mini fight breaks out between the boys, causing Heeseung to rub his temples in frustration.

“What are you guys even doing here? I text the groupchat this morning that I couldn’t come.” Heeseung says. “They’re here for me. Not everything’s about you, hyung.” Niki pokes his tongue at the oldest friend, causing Heeseung to roll his eyes yet again. “You’re right. How silly of me to think people came to my house to see me.” Heeseung says sarcastically. “Feel free to leave him wherever you’re going. It’d be nice to have my couch back.” Heeseung continues, picking up the pillow Niki sleeps with and throwing it at his youngest friend.

Once the guys have left the house, Heeseung lets out a sigh of relief at the sudden silence. The short amount of chaos from his friends managed to distract him from how nervous he is. He quickly glances at the clock on the wall - 5:50. 10 minutes until Ari’s shift finishes. 10 minutes until he’ll be showing her his progress in Animal Crossing.

Realistically, there’s nothing to be nervous about. He won’t be able to see her face so he can’t get distracted by her beautiful features. Plus he has the game to focus on and hopefully stop him from saying anything stupid. Everything will be fine.

“Heeseung! Can you hear me?” Ari’s cheery voice blasts through his headphones, sending a spark of energy right to Heeseung’s heart. Ok, maybe everything won’t be fine. “I uh… yeah.” Heeseung manages, clearing his throat. “Ok cool. I’m just loading into your island. Where do you want to meet me?” She asks. “Um… I have a cherry blossom tree at the front of my island. I’ll wait there.” Heeseung says, smiling to himself as Ari goes on a mini rant about how cute the cherry blossoms are in the game.

As the two of them continue to explore Heeseung’s island, Ari seems to carry the conversation. She’s letting out praises for how well he’s done despite not playing that long, talking about her favourite parts of the island, and cracking jokes about certain villagers. Heeseung finds himself happily content with just listening to her, responding with hums of agreement and the occasional sentence when asked a question.

“Sorry, I know I talk a lot. You can tell me to shut up if I’m too annoying.” Ari jokes, causing Heeseung’s face to fall. Although she played it off as a joke, part of him thinks that she’s being serious. “Don’t apologize. I like listening to you talk. Especially since I suck at it.” Heeseung reassures. He hopes she knows he means it. The thought of someone like her thinking she’s annoying is just wrong.

“Ok. But I want you to talk too.” Ari says. “What should I talk about?” Heeseung asks, his nerves coming back now that he’s been put on the spot. “I just rambled about my childhood dog for 5 minutes cause a villager reminded me of him. You can talk about anything.” Ari assures.

So Heeseung rambles on about anything that comes to mind. University, work, his friends being stupid, even that one time he had to break into his own house because he accidentally threw his keys in the trash. The game became long forgotten as the two get caught up in learning more about each other.

Heeseung doesn’t even notice the time, until he hears the front door of his apartment open. Ni-ki soon walks into Heeseung’s room, eyes widening when he sees that he’s still talking to that girl. 

“Oh? It’s my roommate.” Heeseung says into his mic, attempting to shoo Ni-ki out of his room. Dodging Heeseung’s waving arm, Ni-ki pulls the headphones off his head, yelling a quick hello into the mic before Heeseung fights him off. “Get out you rat.” Heeseung whisper-yells, adjusting the headphones so they’re back in their original position. The sound of Ari’s laughter quickly fills his eardrums, causing a dopey smile to spread across his face. “Simp.” Ni-ki scoffs before leaving to find something to eat.

“I’m guessing that’s the feral teenager?” Ari asks, causing Heeseung to sigh. “Yeah… he can be a lot. I guess I love him though.” Heeseung says, checking the time to see that it is in fact quite late. “I should probably go eat something. And make sure he doesn’t burn down my apartment.” Heeseung sighs, not wanting to stop talking but equally not wanting to starve. Or find himself homeless. “I should probably go too. I’ve got an early class tomorrow.” Ari agrees. “I had a lot of fun tonight. We should do this again.” She continues, causing Heeseung to agree a little too quickly. “Ok well, go feed your feral teenager. I’ll talk to you later Heeseung.” Ari says, disconnecting the call after Heeseung lets out a small “goodbye”

Playing together soon becomes a natural thing for Heeseung and Ari. It started with her visiting his Animal Crossing island without him knowing - leaving small presents for him to find later. That led to a game of hide and seek on each other’s islands, where they would call and time each other to see how quickly they could find each other’s presents. Now, fast forward a few weeks and the two have just started a minecraft server - which Ari affectionately named “Gamestop Besties”.

Besties. Heeseung hates that word. He’d call Jay and Ni-ki his besties. He’d call Sunghoon and Jake his besties. Heck, he’d even call his mum his bestie if she didn’t smack him for it. But the thought of him and Ari being besties honestly terrifies him. Because part of him thinks that’s all they’ll ever be. Besties.

“What the fuck?” Heeseung exclaims, his eyes furrowing in confusion as his character walks back to what once was his and Ari’s beautifully built Minecraft house. He says was because half the house is now missing, with a large hole in the wall. “Creeper.” Ari admits. “I forgot they existed.” She continues. “How do you forget about Creepers?” Heeseung laughs. “Well I didn’t have to deal with them until someone killed my cat.” Ari states.

A moment of silence falls between the two before Heeseung sighs. “I’ll get you a new cat.” He says, walking off to try and find a village. “I’ll start rebuilding the house… and make you a new bed.” Ari mumbles the last part, causing Heeseung to gasp. “You blew up my bed?!?”

It’s been almost a week since Ari and Heeseung last played Minecraft together. Now, for most people that’s not considered a long amount of time. But for people who have been playing together nearly everyday, it’s a big deal. She hasn’t been responding to messages either, which has Heeseung especially worried.

Heeseung gets woken from his sleep by a discord notification. For a second, he considers ignoring it and going back to sleep. That’s until he remembers that he only has notifications on for Ari’s messages.

Heeseung practically jumps out of bed, quickly shoving on the glasses he hates wearing before sitting down at his computer. His eyes take a bit of time to adjust to the bright light before he is able to read the messages:

Aristocat: Hey sorry for not replying. Just had some personal stuff going on ://

Heebeejeebee: u okay?

Aristocat: Uh?? I think?? Idk my boyfriend and I broke up lol

Aristocat: But I’m allgoods now

Heeseung’s eyes widen at the message. She had a boyfriend this whole time? Why didn’t she think to tell him? He can’t help but feel like an idiot for not knowing.

Heebeejeebee: Oh. I didn’t know you had a boyfriend?

Aristocat: Yeah haha I didn’t talk about him

Aristocat: Was gonna wait until we weren’t having problems

Aristocat: But it doesn’t matter now ig

Heebeejeebee: How are you feeling?

Aristocat: Sad lol

Aristocat: I can’t sleep

Aristocat: Can we play minecraft?

Heebeejeebee: Yeah just one sec

Ari fell asleep at her computer not long after loading into their shared world. Partially due to the fact that it was well past midnight. But Heeseung likes to think that it’s because the sound of his voice - spoken in soft whispers as to not wake up Ni-ki, was able to lull her to sleep. The quiet “thank you” she let out before drifting off to dream land certainly made it seem like it.

Nothing gets one's mind off falling in love with a friend quite like alcohol does. As Heeseung downs his sixth shot of night and asks Ni-ki to grab him yet another beer, his friends start to think that something’s up.

“I’m a pussy.” Heeseung groans, setting his empty shot glass down on the table. “No arguments there.” Sunghoon chimes in, earning him a few glares from their other friends. “What? He’s getting all mopey over something that hasn’t even happened. Sounds like bitchless behaviour to me.” Sunghoon argues, the pink flush to his cheeks showing he’s not far off from Heeseung’s drunkenness.

“Maybe you should have some water hyung.” Jungwon suggests, attempting to get Heeseung out of his chair. “You don’t think I’m bitchless, do you Wonie?” Heeseung asks, grabbing the younger boy’s hand and looking deeply into his eyes. Almost pleading with him. “Uh.. well you are single so… technically?” Jungwon grimaces at the sound of Heeseung’s head banging against the table, a loud whine escaping his lips. He soon goes on a rant about how much of a loser he is, Jungwon rubbing his back sympathetically as he looks to his older friends for help.

None of them knows what to do. Heeseung’s dramatic sometimes, sure. And he’s certainly known to get a bit over the top when he’s drinking, but he’s never been like this. Sure, they know he’s crushing on Gamestop Girl. But this is the first time he’s gotten so worked up over someone. It leaves them thinking that his feelings for Ari are a lot stronger than he’s letting on.

Fun fact, Heeseung is a sloppy drunk. This is evident in the way that he can barely stand up by himself, needing both Ni-ki and Ari to carry him out of Jay’s apartment. “My car’s just across the street.” Ari says, pointing at one of the few cars parked at this time of night.

When she first got the call from Heeseung that night, she was excited. But as he started to mumble incoherent words through the line, she quickly realised that he was drunk. The phone was soon taken over by his roommate Ni-ki - who quickly explained the situation. So here she is, driving home her drunk friend and his teenage roommate at 2 in the morning.

“Sorry again Noona. Jay was gonna give us a ride but he got tricked into doing shots with Jake.” Ni-ki apologises, causing Ari to wave him off nonchalantly, smiling gently at the younger boy. “It’s fine. I wasn’t doing anything important. Besides, at least this way I know he’s getting home safe.” Ari states, readjusting her grip around Heeseung’s torso to stop him from falling.

Once Heeseung is safely in the backseat, Ni-ki gives directions to their apartment. Ari finds herself looking through the rearview mirror at Heeseung’s sleeping figure throughout the drive. He was still awake and functioning when he called her, so the fact that he managed to drink enough to pass out since then is worrying. 

By the time they’ve made it to the apartment, Heeseung has woken up a little. Although his eyes are still closed - he is at least responding to his name now, humming lowly and nodding his head whenever the word falls from someone’s lips.

The two carefully carry Heeseung up the stairs to his apartment, laying him down in his room. Ni-ki leaves to get his hyung some water, leaving Ari sitting at the foot of Heeseung’s bed. She gently wipes away the hair that has stuck to his forehead and tugs his shirt down that had ridden up, revealing some of his stomach.

“Heeseung?” Ari asks, causing the boy to hum at the sound of her voice - a dopey smile adorning his lips. “Ni-ki’s getting you some water. Can you sit up?” She asks, lacing her fingers through his and attempting to pull him into a sitting position. Heeseung allows her to move him around, dropping his head onto her shoulder with a thud.

“Be careful.” Ari softly scolds, bringing her hand to gently rub the part of his head he hit on her shoulder. The two find themselves in comfortable silence as they wait for Ni-ki to return. 

“Ari?” Heeseung asks quietly, his words muffled slightly as he presses his face further into her neck. “Did you do this kinda stuff with your boyfriend?” He continues. Her fingers halt their movement at the sudden question, causing Heeseung to whine and press his head further into her hand.

Ari’s not sure what to answer. Does he mean look after him when he’s drunk? Is it the fact that she’s caressing his head? Heeseung sighs at her silence, mumbling a quiet nevermind before completely pulling away to lay down on the bed. Ari watches him for a moment, confusion written all over her features as she processes what just happened. Part of her knows exactly what he meant, after all, Heeseung isn’t the most subtle person in the world. She immediately shoves that thought down though, not emotionally ready to unpack it just yet.

Finally, Ni-ki returns with the water and gives Ari the greenlight to go home. Part of her wants to stay and make sure Heeseung’s okay, but she finds herself walking out of the apartment before she can even think of an excuse not to.

“Oh my god, I’m so embarrassed.” Heeseung exclaims, resting his head on the table in the kitchen. He can remember everything from the night before, and he’s not sure if it’s a blessing or a curse. Ni-ki pats his friend’s back sympathetically but offers no further help to the situation. 

“Do I text her and apologise? Or do I wait for her to bring it up? What if she doesn’t remember and bringing it up only makes things worse? Wait, she was sober so of course she remembers!” Heeseung throws his head back in frustration, letting out a loud groan. “I am never getting out of the friendzone.” He whines, causing Ni-ki to roll his eyes. “You’re hopeless, hyung.” Ni-ki sighs before returning to the game he’s playing on his phone.

Trying to pretend everything is normal proves to be a difficult task. Heeseung remembers very clearly what he said to Ari the night he got drunk. He knows the implications behind his words and part of him wonders if Ari knows too.

She’s been normal, for the most part. Her voice, just as cheery when the two play games. Her smile, just as bright when they facetime late into the night. Everything seems fine on her end, and Heeseung can’t help but feel that maybe he’s the problem.

“Are you still awake?” Ari’s voice sounds through his phone speakers, snapping Heeseung out of his thoughts. “Yeah… I didn’t think you were.” Heeseung admits, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He grabs his phone from where it’s resting on his nightstand, holding it so she can see his face more clearly. “Can’t sleep.” Ari admits; a small smile on her lips when Heeseung’s face comes into focus. “I feel restless.” She adds, slightly laughing in disbelief. 

You’d think after a day of uni, a five hour shift and multiple hours spent gaming, she’d have run out of energy by now. But here she lays at an unspeakable hour in the morning, not an ounce of tiredness in her body.

“Restless?” Heeseung asks, intrigued. “Yeah… like I need to get out of the house or something.” Ari sighs, running her hands through her hair. A moment of silence passes between them before Ari sighs once more.

“I think I’m gonna go for a drive. Clear my mind.” She says, picking up her phone as she goes on a hunt for her car keys. “Okay.” Heeseung says, his heart falling a bit at the thought of her hanging up.

Another moment of silence…

“Do you want to come?”

Sat in the passenger seat of Ari’s car, Heeseung feels his heart being pulled in two different directions. On one hand, he gets to spend more time with the woman he’s grown to love. He gets to bask in her presence, her scent sending his heart into a peaceful bliss. On the other hand, she isn’t as warm as normal. Her voice, not as cherry; her smile, not as bright. It’s as if someone has taken all the light from her heart. And thus, breaking Heeseung’s at the same time.

The car is fairly silent, some random radio station playing softly in the background. Neither Heeseung nor Ari make any move to start conversation - finding solace in the comfortable silence.

As the two pull into a nearly abandoned car park, Ari sits back in her chair - running her hands through her hair once more. Something she does when she’s stressed, Heeseung’s noticed.

“Is everything okay?” Heeseung asks, watching her from the passenger seat. He’s been watching her since she picked him up, her movements, mannerisms, the way she gently hums along to the radio when she knows a certain song. All things that would usually bring a smile to Heeseung’s face. But not tonight - not when there’s clearly something wrong.

Ari hums gently in response, turning in her seat to face Heeseung. Her eyes are tired, though still shimmering in a way that would put the entire galaxy to shame. “Have you ever given so much of yourself to someone, only for it to not be enough?” She asks softly. Heeseung can’t help the way he softly bites his lip, nodding gently to her question. “I think I know what you mean.” He says.

It’s one of Heeseung’s greatest fears, not being enough. Giving your everything to someone, to live, think and breathe all for them, only to have it all to be gone in the blink of an eye. It’s the reason Heeseung has never been in a serious relationship - as much as he is obsessed with the idea of falling in love, he’s scared. Because Heeseung falls hard and fast, and he wonders if there’s anyone in the world willing to fall with him.

Ari is everything Heeseung has ever wished for in human form. She feels and expresses her emotions more than anyone he has ever met. It’s what made her so different from everyone else he’s been interested in. Because some childish part of him believes in fate. And god, does this seem like it.

“You spaced out again.” Ari comments, causing Heeseung to sheepishly rub the back of his neck, mumbling a small apology. “I don’t suppose you have a remedy for a broken heart in that interesting head of yours?” Ari asks. She brings her finger up to gently poke between Heeseung’s brows, the furrow he didn’t even know about immediately fading.

“Me”

Heeseung is an idiot. The mix of shock and confusion on Ari’s face confirms that he did, in fact, say that out loud. His expression can’t help but mirror hers as he racks his brain for something… anything to say that can fix this. Is it even worth attempting to play it off? Or should he just man up and confess? He’s basically already started… so might as well give her an explanation.

“Fuck Ari… I just can’t stand to see you like this. Knowing that I could love you more than he ever did. Treat you better than he ever did. It pains me to think that he would just throw you away like you’re nothing, when there are people like me… people who would do anything to just hold you and feel you and love you.”

“You are so bright and warm and radiant and just so pretty. You’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever laid my eyes on. And I know you don’t believe me, which makes you even more beautiful in my eyes.”

“I know, this is the worst time to tell you but I can’t just keep acting like it’s nothing. Like I feel nothing… It’s killing me, Ari.” Heeseung finishes, the hint of desperation in his voice causing Ari’s eyes to soften.

“Heeseung…” Ari lets out, not too sure how to respond. “I’m sorry. I know you’re upset and I just sprung all my feelings onto you, I should never have-”

“Heeseung.” Ari cuts him off, her tone a little sterner at the sound of his rambling. Heeseung bites his lips nervously as he awaits his fatal rejection. “Listen… you’re amazing, Heeseung…”

And there it goes. The infamous line is one he’s heard many times in his life. It starts off as a sweet compliment, almost tricking him into thinking there’s a possibility that just maybe they return his feelings. But all the hope of reciprocation goes out the window as soon as the word but is mumbled. You’re amazing Heeseung but just as a friend. You’re amazing Heeseung but you’re too much for me.

“Heeseung.” Ari repeats for a third time, once again breaking him out of his thoughts. He lets out a hum to let her know he’s listening, his eyes zoning in on a particularly interesting thread on his shirt. “Can you look at me, please?” Ari asks softly, reaching out to gently pull his hand away from the thread - hoping her touch will help to ease his mind in some way.

Heeseung reluctantly brings his eyes up to meet hers, trying to ignore the way his hand practically goes numb from the warmth of her own. Like it’s ascended to heaven from her touch alone. Ari sends him a small smile before continuing what she’s saying:

“Heeseung, I want you to believe me 100% when I say that you are one of the nicest, most considerate guys I’ve ever met. And I am so lucky to have someone like you in my life, who sees me and cares for me the way that you do.”

But… There’s always a but…

“But… it’s just not gonna work. Not right now, at least.”

Heeseung’s eyebrows furrow at her words. Usually rejections are so blatant and obvious, you’d be a fool to go away with any questions. So why is Ari rejecting him in a way that still leaves him with hope?

“You have been nothing but sweet and patient and attentive towards me and my feelings. You deserve to be with someone who will give you the same back, if not more. I’m sorry but… I don’t think I can do that for you right now… and I don’t know how long it’ll be until I can.”

Ari finishes her sentence with a gentle squeeze to Heeseung’s hand. He slowly lets go of the breath he was holding, being sure to squeeze back. “I understand.” He says quietly, a small smile on his face.

If there’s one thing Heeseung doesn’t know how to do, it’s give up. What sounded like a perfectly normal rejection to most people sounded completely different to Heeseung’s head. Because to him, the difference between no and not now is ginormous. And Ari didn’t tell him no.

The drive back to Heeseung’s apartment is equally as silent as the one before. Despite the relationship between the two not changing the way Heeseung would have liked, he can’t help the small smile on his face and the sudden feeling of freedom in his heart.

They mumble soft goodbyes as Heeseung gets out of the car, Ari winding down her window to watch him walk to his door. Before he can think, Heeseung turns back around to face her - causing Ari’s eyebrows to furrow with confusion.

“I’ll wait for you. As long as you’ll let me.” Heeseung says, holding out his pinkie as a promise. They both know what he means, and the thought alone brings a smile to Ari’s face.

Jay is a good friend. He reads people easily, noticing the small signs of what someone might be thinking. It’s definitely not psychic, but if there’s anyone in the world who’s close - it would be him.

Which is why he’s mentally beating himself up. Heeseung sits across from him at the campus cafeteria, happily eating his sandwich. And for the first time in their years of friendship, Jay can’t tell what he’s thinking.

It’s no secret that Heeseung has been oddly private recently… especially since he’s someone who’s known to share his life events with anyone willing to listen. Ever since the whole thing with Ari fell through (Jay assumes, since Heeseung hasn’t mentioned her in months) Heeseung hasn’t shared the story around his love life with any of the guys.

Speaking of the devil, Heeseung’s eyes light up as he sends a cheerful wave towards someone behind Jay - that someone turning out to be none other than Ari.

She politely bows to Jay before turning to face her friend. “I thought you had a lecture?” She asks. “Yeah but the cafeteria was gonna close and I really wanted a sandwich.” Heeseung says, motioning to the snack he’s currently holding. “You’re such a dork.” Ari giggles, glancing at the clock before her eyes widen. “Oh shit, I’ve got work.” She exclaims, pulling her phone out of her pocket to text someone. “I’ll call you later.” She continues, affectionately squeezing Heeseung’s shoulder before leaving.

Jay’s eyes stay furrowed with confusion, even as Heeseung turns back to face him. “What’s wrong?” Heeseung asks, taking another bite of his sandwich. Jay shakes his head slightly, looking down at his own food. “Nothing I just… I didn’t know you two were still talking.” Jay shrugs.

Now it’s Heeseung’s turn to be confused. He and Ari talk everyday? She even comes around every Thursday night and makes Tacos with him and Ni-ki. Why would Jay think they stopped talking?

The realisation suddenly hits him. Ever since he confessed, he hasn’t felt the need to mention Ari or his feelings towards her to the other guys. Since nothing will be coming from it anytime soon, he figured it’d be best to stop annoying them about it.

“Oh, yeah she rejected me a couple months back.” Heeseung says nonchalantly, causing Jay to look at him in shock. “It’s all good though. She said she wasn’t ready for a relationship and everything stayed basically the same. I just don’t talk about her cause… y’know, not like anything’s happening.” He continues. “Oh, well that’s good to know.” Jay nods, causing Heeseung to smirk at his friend.

“Why… do you miss gossiping about my love life?” He asks, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. “I’m not Sunoo.” Jay groans, rolling his eyes but smiling at his friend nonetheless. “Don’t worry, you’ll be the first to know if anything changes.” Heeseung says, happily taking a bite of his sandwich.

Heeseung still isn’t the best when it comes to love. But he’s certainly learning. This time last year, he would’ve had his week of crying and moved onto someone new. It’s honestly refreshing for Jay to see such a change in his friend. And if he knows anything about Heeseung, it’s that he doesn’t change for just anyone. Which means that this Ari girl must be pretty darn special.

#enhypen #enhypen fanfic #enhypen fanfiction #enhypen imagines #enhypen fluff #enhypen angst #enhypen x reader #enhypen x oc #enhypen heeseung #heeseung fanfic #heeseung fanfiction #heeseung fluff #heeseung angst #heeseungx reader #heeseung x oc #kpop #kpop fanfic #kpop fanfiction #kpop imagines #kpop fluff #kpop angst #kpop x reader #kpop x oc #fanfic #fanfiction #fluff #angst #x reader #oc #heeseung imagines

[the-final-sif]

Hi Sif! I saw you addition to my post and I wanted to follow up and say that I did a more complete analysis looking at every character on the Dream SMP. I definitely didn't think my original post was going to spread as far as it did, since it was me just gushing my surface level thoughts. Part of the reason I followed up with a more thorough look was that I didn't want to let misinformation spread without actually looking at the full data.

I agree with some of your points but I would like to push a little and say that I do think that there is still a gender bias. While Hannah's situation might be more related to her later addition to the server and lack of prominent romantic relationships (beyond Tinarose, which still counts as a rarepair by numbers), the numbers for Niki are a significant outlier considering her early presence and involvement in numerous character/story arcs, especially compared to some characters that fared better than her.

I obviously can't control for every variable and every reason the numbers may show what they do. And there are many, many reasons people can and should use tags the way they do. But I think it is not too far-fetched to say that the Dream SMP fandom does have a problem with overusing tags that don't actually portray what happens in their fic AND with under-valuing characters with marginalized identities, which are partially reflected in the way relationship tags and character tags work together as they do today.

Here's the thing, I actually don't think that Niki's story count is weird at all, I think you may just be underestimating how popular certain pairings/platonic relationships are.

Let's take a comparison that I think is more than fair, c!Punz. Punz has a pretty comparable if not larger impact on the story than c!Niki. particularly towards the finales he plays different roles in them. But outside of c!Dream he doesn't have a lot of other major relationships that are popular in fanon, outside of him and c!Purpled. Despite this, c!Punz is often important to the plot, and he joined a full month before Niki did. Hell, he joined before Tubbo and just after Tommy.

But look at his top 10,

He does have 2/10 of his top relationships, but it's platonic/romantic drunz, so just different flavors of the same relationship. Outside of that, you see all the same super popular ships that you saw on ever other characters. It's just what happens in fandom.

As it turns out, some dynamics are just incredibly popular. DNF alone has nearly 25k fics written just for it. So honestly, with that many raw fics, it's hardly surprising that about 5% of them happen to feature Punz. Which ends up being more fics than the rest of his relationship category.

It's not that Punz is being incorrectly tagged in these fics, it's just that DNF is incredibly incredibly popular, and by virtue of that you end up here.

SBI similarly has about 21k fics, and Wilbur & Tommy have about 22k.

Niki's numbers aren't particularly weird, it's just that these particular dynamics are extremely popular. If you filter out just those three insanely popular dynamics, you get this,

Niki ends up in 4/10 (sorta 4/9 since one of these is just "no romantic relationships" which people use as a relationship tag for some reason rather than just putting that in additional tags).

I'm not saying that there aren't gender biases in how certain characters are treated. To some extent people often feel less comfortable shipping female creators because people in the past were being creeps about it and forcing it onto female creators in their chats (lots of creators had to address this with their chats, Techno included). Which will lead to a specific decline in the amount they get tagged in the ship section.

What I am saying is that I don't actually think there's a gender bias in how characters are tagged, and I don't think ship stats are a good way to prove that. Characters can be important to a story and not be tagged in the ship section. Also, frankly, a lot of times authors force in or tag a "popular" ship just to get more attention for their story, even if that ship isn't a huge part of the story.

I'm also not rely sure what exactly you want to see happen with a post like that. Like, should people not tag female characters that are relevant to their story if they're also tagging a really popular ship? I don't think that's a good idea. It is just kinda being the fandom police if that really is your take on it, if you come at it from the perspective that you get to decide how other people should tag. I know you said you weren't trying to be that, but like, that's how it comes off.

Some people will tag based on relevancy, some people tag as warnings. Both are valid methods of tagging, and you don't have a right to control how other people use their tags. That's something I believe very strongly in.

I've also never really been fond of turning enjoyment of characters into a moral thing either. People will enjoy what characters they connect to for any number of reasons, and shaming them for not enjoying particular female characters has never done anyone any good. I've seen it a thousand times before in every fandom I've been in and all it does is make people feel guilty. What actually does a lot more good is instead being excited about the female characters you like, and creating interesting fandom content for them that helps get other people interested.

If you want more people to be passionate about something, start from a point of passion, not a point of shame.

#sif answers #milktearosethorn #c!niki #niki #c!punz #punz #dream smp #dsmp #fandom etiquette #fandom tagging #sif speaks #don't mean any of this rudely btw but I am going to be upfront with my thoughts #been doing this too long and seen this same song and dance too many times not to

[fenrislorsrai]

I Know Where I'm Going

Season 2 is just Neil Gaiman attempting to get us to read and watch all his favs while looking for Clues.

so got "I Know Where I'm Going" from the library.

as a mundane note on the DVD, the subtitles are incredibly hard to find on the menus for some reason. I finally gave up using the onscreen menu and forced it through opening a track direct on my player. So if you get the DVD, there ARE subtitles, you just gotta work for 'em.

also there's several points where they just subtitle it as "speaking Gaelic". It's effectively shot from a non-Gaelic speaker's POV so I'm okay with it not being translated but it would have been nice is there were subtitles, in Gaelic, for those sections.

This movie rates an enormous HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM from me. Many interesting coincidences.

Free fic title for folks: "may your pulse beat as your heart would wish"

Rest under the cut in case you want to watch this.

You can read the plot on WIkipedia so I'm not gonna focus on the relevant bits for Good Omens cause that's why you're reading this.

First up you get the female lead meeting with her father for dinner, who specifically mentions coming from Eccleshall to see her off. This is a different town than Eccles of the Eccles cake, but did make me go look that up.

The tartan hills sequence really is direct from this movie as part of a dream sequence. Joan's father had warned her she was marrying a man, not his company, but the dream sequence does involve actually marrying the company as shown off by some large industrial machinery. big HMM there on theme.

She's clearly marrying this guy for safety and financial security but you never really learn much else about him. She seems to have worked for him and then climbed into position of getting married. You hear this guy's voice on a shortwave radio but never actually see him. He's also described with general disdain by the locals as an imposter. He's not the real lord, he's just the guy with the money.

Which is something that comes up repeatedly thematically as New Money vs Old Money. even the Old Money doesn't have much and that's why they're renting out to the New Money because they're land rich, cash poor as are post of the people that are in the area.

There's a bit where the rich new folks go call on one of the old nobles and comment on how she's only got three servants on a quite big house and she comments on "don't need them when I have guests" and then you get to see Torquil, who actually is a lord (and the love interest here) getting told to set the table for the elderly noblewoman he's visiting. Which he does. and for the rich New Money folks who do nothing to help.

You also have a conversation with some of the locals making fun of the rich industrialist paying money to import salmon, when he's got salmon swimming in the stream of the land he's renting, but isn't catching. He's also having a swimming pool built... on an inland, which they all think he's mad for. (considering the ocean murdering people is a plot point, wanting to swim in warmer non-murderous water seems pretty reasonable)

But there's an overall Vibe of the new money having MONEY but not class.

Torquil has class but also responsibilities. He's only here because he's been serving in the Navy and is home on shore leave. Catriona, who provides Torquil and Joan somewhere to stay while waiting out the stormy weatehr has been providing housing a unit of soldiers up until about a week ago. So you get that clear "they're doing their part for the war, the New Rich aren't".

You also get Joan attempting to pay a local fisherman quite a lot of cash to take her to the nearby island in heavy weather. It's really too much cash for him to refuse. That could buy him ability to marry and buy a boat of his own. Torquil is Pissed Offabout it though because he considers it thoughtless. You could wait and not risk that man's life over this. He eventually gets talked around but goes with on the boat trip since he actually IS in the Navy and can manage to help get engine restarted in boat when they get swapped.

So a lot of themes in common, but lets get back to the real meat here: THE CURSE.

Torquil has never been in the nearby castle, which is basically just a standing square tower. Not have any of his immediate ancestors because everybody knows about the curse and that he can't set foot in the castle of Something Terrible Will Happen.

This gets called back to several times but without any indication of the exact nature of the curse.

This IS a romance so the whole point is this delay in the travel makes Joan reconsider marrying the rich guy. but before that, you have Joan and Torquil split up. They have a farewell kiss and then part ways. Torquil wishes her well and suggests since some pipers got hired for this delayed wedding, she should have them play a tune they heard earlier in a dance scene.

meanwhile, he's been delayed so many times getting to the same island (which is his home), his shore leave is now over, he has to go back to the Navy. So is walking off to catch a ride and goes past the castle.

Stares at it and is "okay, Joan's right, this is stupid I've been scared by this curse the whole time" so goes into castle to climb the tower actually see the curse carved in stone.

OH HEY, THAT CURSE AIN'T WHAT YOU THOUGHT. It's one of those written in such a way it can be read several ways. One of which is "you can never leave this place without the person you love." oh hey, are those bagpipers playing Our Song???

Happy reunion had, Joan wants to be with Torquil nevermind marrying the company for riches. what they do about Torquil's leave being over, IDK, movie over, this is a romance, off we go.

#good omens #I know where I'm going

[hollyhomburg]

Seeing your responses to asks about the new chapter and just general questions it brings up- I’ve been intending to ask, and feel free to not answer this ask at all if it spoils anything and stuff, but like,

why are moonbyul and her pack so intent on ‘getting’ the mc? I remember you said once upon a time that if she joined their pack she would probably of ended up being used for moonbyul to have kids or something? So I don’t get why she’s so intent on pursuing her. I thought for a moment it might’ve been because she actually went ahead of plan and killed the don and beta- like it made moonbyul interested in her in a sense of ‘I wonder if I could make you do this stuff for me, rather then yourself’ or something- she seems a little like the type to want her omegas all obsessed and stuff which like,, creepy but you’re kinda hot so whatever

Along that line, I also don’t get what her endgame is with how you said Hyein contemplated killing Jimin. Sure Mc would leave the pack for their safety but she would just end up hating moonbyul and her pack from something like that. So if the end goal is a sort of ‘ownership’ that’s honestly not how to go about it

If that spoils then don’t worry about answering obvi lol but it’s just a question that plays on my mind from the new chapter that I kinda wanted to get out- even if you can’t answer this for spoiler reasons I hope you can enjoy knowing that one of your readers are set into deep thinking from your really intricate writing lol <3 love ya and your writing li, thank you so much for all you do for us fans - you’re such a dedicated and thoughtful writer and seemingly person from what you put through on here with your fanfic and other random posts, I hope you know we appreciate you!!!

oh okay so, maybe this is not as obvious as i thought it was but ;-; it's mostly because of three reasons,

1. because of the m/c's addictive slick, moonbyul's alpha and other alphas in general can kind of 'sense' that the m/c has this, it's mostly phermonal.

2. Because moonbyul and hyejin collect omega's, hyejin was moonbyuls first addition to her collection in a way but after she came along they very quickly got the other too. it's a power thing, the m/c is both veulnerable and beautiful. most alphas, moonbyul included- view the aquisition of omegas and many omega's as a status symbol. for the same reason why hoseok's coeworkers tease him for having so many alphas in his pack- it's kind of a societal norm that an alpha in possession of a good fortune will have several omega's, especially in certain circles.

3. They want to posess her as of right now in the story in part because it was kind of an understood position of them helping her escape geumjae/kill the don and beta that they would get her in their pack as a result. they wheren't just helping her and usuing her, they where manipulating her towards their own ends. after she killed the don and beta this got even more kind of validated- because moonbyul is the one who kept the m/c from being killed. in her mind- she owns the mc, regardless of yoongi's mating mark.

(this next section is vaugely spoilery) you're right in saying that "Sure Mc would leave the pack for their safety but she would just end up hating moonbyul and her pack from something like that. So if the end goal is a sort of ‘ownership’ that’s honestly not how to go about it" thats exactly why moonbyul DIDN'T order hyejin to kill jimin. she knows that if they do want to get the m/c, they'll likely need some collateral or something more to convince the m/c to be theirs willingly, the endgame with them is not physical captivity, it's emotional captivity. hyejin and moonbyul contrasted with geumjae- are much more interested in mentally fucking up the m/c than actually physically harming her through physical abuse. it's a delicate situation.

aghhh thank you for apreciating it in all its intricacies! i know sometimes it might feel like it's too intricate, at least we're not just frustrated right? i'll answer your questions for as long as i can.

[n7punk]

She-ra (2018) Con-Exclusive Merch & Giveaways

I'm assembling a master post of all officially-produced merch for the SPOP reboot, but it's focused on information. I have a separate post focused on promotion-exclusive items, and this post is dedicated to detailed information for the ambiguous middle ground: con exclusives. Some of these were given away and some were for sale.

If I get additional information on any of these specific items, I'll edit the post to add it, but if I find anything new then it'll go in a reblog addition as I've hit the image limit on this post.

Sometimes you have to click photos to see full images, as many are cut off due to varying dimensions. Any [x]s will lead to the source of the images, usually secondhand listings that will eventually become defunct. I use the best photos I can find.

Pins/Buttons:

The buttons (first two images) were at NYCC in 2018. [1st] [2nd].

Han Cholo sells a lot of pins on their website, but the four on the right were exclusive at SDCC one year (concept photo in the final reblog here, this post chain in general has a ton of photos of She-ra merch from a mix of sources). [3rd]

Misc:

A foam tiara (2 photos) and a (seemingly foam and plastic) flat sword were at NYCC 2018 & 2019 and SDCC 2019. [2nd], [3rd]

There aren't any good photos and I'm at the image limit anyway, but there are pictures in the final reblog here of knee-high socks that were given out at promo events (possibly cons) and in reviewer/influencer promo packages. They're patterned after She-ra's uniform and have a cape on the back. Any details on this would be appreciated if you know them.

Temporary tattoos (far left) and stickers (middle left) were at NYCC 2019 and maybe also Power-Con. Coloring sheets and hair ties were at either NYCC or Power-Con. The coloring sheet is watercolor with paint squares provided at the top of the sheet. I believe the hair ties came in three colors (purple, pink, and blue) and the long post* has good photos of the pink one. If you want to look at approximately ten pixels, this listing has all three colors. [1st] [2nd] [3rd]

Bookmarks were available at SDCC one year and likely any other locations that had the books (Power-Con, etc). [x]

Collector card sets featuring 16 of the characters were given out at cons, possibly SDCC 2018. First image is the front of the packaging, second is one of the cards, and the third is the back of the package. [1st] [2nd] [3rd]

Posters:

Buckle up, this is the final, longest part. Posters were at many conventions and some designs may have been available at multiple cons. I mostly want to catalogue the designs here and will list a con just when I know it. Most listings online are of fan reprints unless otherwise specified.

The first four (left to right) were available at SDCC 2019. The 4th & 5th are the front and back of the same poster, which was probably also distributed at places like Power-Con or wherever they sold the books (since it's a Scholastic poster). [4th] [5th]

Here are clean social media uploads of the 2nd and 3rd image. The 2nd was also the cover image for season 3 and the front of the DVD for seasons 1-3.

The character mini prints in the bottom right [6th] seem to have been given out at multiple cons. They were probably at SDCC (year unknown) and/or Power-Con (year unknown). The collector card designs roughly followed their design pattern.

All three of these were at SDCC WonderCon. The first was 2019 and the second was probably 2018. The 3rd was supposedly at 2023 but was (probably) 2018 unless they still just had a bunch of extras laying around. WonderCon also had a variant of the 4th poster from the SDCC section above, but I can't find good photos of it and there's going to be a third variant of it further down too, so at this point I think you get it.

The first design is the cover image for season 2.

The first was probably at NYCC 2018. The right two were given out at a NYCC 2019 panel, as well as sent out with an exclusive statuette to family bloggers to promote season 4.

The first design is the cover art for season one. Its design was also used for a shopping bag at Anime Expo 2019 (photo in the final reblog here). The second one is the cover image for season 4.

Distribution currently unknown (if there ever was one). The second image is the cover for season 5. I'll edit on the distributions if I happen to find them, but I'm fine with what I've got here. I could have missed one or two posters, but since their distributions mostly amounted to handing out flyers, they're hard to find.

#merch #words and things #god i'm a lunatic #a little of this ground is being retread from the long post but I had to get more organized about this #by ''cover images'' i mean those are the cover photos dreamworks uses on its website for each season #and thus were likely created specifically to promote them and might have been covers on netflix at some point too #i lost the link for the first she-ra crown picture oops lol #it was from an archived ebay listing anyway #spop meta

[adrinoir]

Headcanon: Adrien Agreste is Trans? (Part 4)

I absolutely love writing about this headcanon. Feel free to read my other sections of the trans headcanon: part one, part two, and part three.

Usual disclaimer: this is just for fun! Obviously cis boys can have these same qualities and traits. Don’t take it too seriously. These are all just things I’ve noticed. Also please keep in mind I haven't watched anything beyond Kwami's Choice: part 1 when I'm writing and posting this (so, I'm using what I currently know).

The incredibly strong dislike of modeling

This relates back to part one where I talked about Adrien’s discomfort in being a model. I had mentioned modeling is all about body - your face and body being everywhere, having to pose in front of a camera all the time, having to walk down the runway. There's a lot of visible discomfort we see in Adrien whenever he has to model.

Anyhow, what I want to add is that this discomfort never eased up for him despite the many, many years he had to model. He was extremely adamant about quitting. Obviously, modeling is a very stressful job as is, especially with the amount of gigs and events to attend and the insane fans who want to know where he's at, plus he said he just wants to be treated as a son by his dad. However, having gender dysphoria is something that can really be heightening this discomfort and desire to quit.

I feel like there are a lot of people out there who would desire to live this lavish lifestyle of being a model, but Adrien can't stand it. So therein lies the question: aside from the normal stress, what is heightening his strong dislike for this job? It could also be the fact that it's keeping him from getting to try out new things he'd enjoy doing, but also consider that his father controls his life as a whole, it isn't just his modeling position getting in the way. And, as I've previously said, there's a lot of visible discomfort, which could easily be what's making him dislike modeling even more.

Additionally, Adrien's face is now not only plastered on billboards, but on almost everyone's Alliance ring. Gabriel scanned Adrien's entire body and created this AI version of him to relieve him of his modeling duties. However, Adrien is still uneasy and doesn't like seeing his face and voice on just about everyone's device (if they have him as their option and not Lila). Yes, it's obviously weird for him to see a fake version of himself saying things he never recorded. But, 1) his face has been all over Paris for years (MASSIVE photos of him), and 2) this should not be incredibly shocking behavior for Gabriel Agreste. So, is there some dysphoric discomfort here, too? Possibly. I know it's a stretch, but it's definitely a small piece to take into consideration.

He often lets people perceive him how they want to

I had also mentioned in part two that he's a people pleaser and melds himself to be who other people want him to be. I want to add, he also lets people define who he is instead of trying real hard to correct them; he lets them think what they want of him.

A good example of this is in Lies when Kagami is trying to draw Adrien. He tries to pose as a cat to try and vaguely show his Cat Noir side; to be silly. But, Kagami doesn't believe this. He even promises her that this is who he really is, that being silly is part of who he truly is. However, Kagami pushes him against a wall, stares directly into his eyes, and says he’s perfect and, "There. This is really you." To which he answers, "Do you really think...?" and just lets Kagami kiss him. Yes, Kagami was being a bit forceful (like, oof. She shouldn't have done that). But, Adrien didn't try to tell her she's wrong. He let Kagami perceive him in her own way.

Why doesn't he correct her? It could be because he wouldn't want people knowing he's trans. It’s a very scary thing. You don’t know how the people who claim they love you will react. Letting them think what they want to doesn’t raise suspicion that he’s hiding something, and clearly his effort on trying to open up to her more didn’t even work in the first place.

You could say he acts like "being silly" is such a big, important part of him that he feel must be hidden at all costs, because it seems that he thinks that him being silly and telling puns would possibly give away that he's Cat Noir. BUT him posing that way for Kagami and him telling cat jokes in the middle of class (in Ephemeral) proves that notion wrong.

One could say he also doesn't want people to know he's dealing with a bad home life, but it's been common knowledge from the start that he has a controlling father. Nino has come up with plans on multiple occasions to free him from his father so they can hang out together. Kagami's mother and Gabriel are friends. It's how Adrien and her met, and Kagami makes it very well known that she's aware of how controlling Gabriel is.

In Elation - one of the most recent episodes - he mentions to Marinette that his fans "wouldn't be such big fans if they knew who was really behind the mask". So, even now, he still feels the need to hide his truer self and that he wouldn't be liked for who he truly is. But, let's think about this for a moment. He has fans both as Adrien and as Cat Noir. He has friends who know his situation and care about him. So then…what is being left out that he feels people won’t like about him? THAT brings us to the next point.

Why does he think people wouldn’t like him?

With all that being said (in the last section), there’s no exact, definable reason as to why Adrien says people wouldn’t like the real him. So, this could mean Adrien is hiding something we as the audience can’t even see.

It’s obvious Adrien has underlying insecurities. But, it seems there’s more than just those insecurities, and this could be him possibly being trans and internally struggling with that gender dysphoria.

People like what they see in Cat Noir - his silly puns and kind heart. People like what they see in Adrien - his kindness and friendliness. So, why will it be problematic once people know they’re the same person? There’s no solid reason.

I had mentioned in my other parts of this headcanon that he’s very closed off which can be pretty common amongst closeted trans people. Adrien thinking people won’t like who he truly is without any definable reason could contribute to that. He doesn’t want people to know he’s trans because he feels they’d think very differently of him and may not like him.

Think about how quickly he believed Marinette in Elation when she said she liked Adrien but doesn’t anymore. It shows that sign of insecurity and dislike for himself. When the girl he likes shows so many signs that she like him throughout the entire show but denies that, he doesn’t believe her. It’s really sad.

The closeness with his mom

So, we aren’t given much background on Emilie, but one thing we do see is that she’s closer to Adrien than Gabriel is. However, what makes them close? We’re never given a reason.

There’s that possibility she’s manipulative like Gabriel but in a different sense, one that makes Adrien like her despite being abusive. But, of course there’s the possibility that she isn’t, which makes her the better parent.

So, if it were true that she never abused Adrien, that leaves the question: what makes them close?

Hypothetically, if my headcanon was actually canon, she could be the one parent who supports Adrien being trans. That reason alone would make them closer, but could also be just one reason amongst many others.

The headcanon still works if I flip it

What if instead of Adrien being a trans guy who already transitioned, he’s a trans girl who hasn’t transitioned yet? I know that might sound like a massive stretch, but I’ve heard this headcanon from other fans and there’s some good back up for this, too.

We all know Gabriel is a very abusive father. We all know Adrien’s childhood dreams were nonexistent because was forced to be who his parents wanted him to be (or he’s forcing himself to please them). What if this is because they don’t support Adrien when he told him he felt like a girl? That’d mean he’s forced to continue living as a boy to please his parents, because his parents don’t accept the fact that he’s trans.

And modeling? That discomfort in having to show the body he has this disconnect from the body he was born in but still has to have pictures taken of all the time.

And him overcompensating his masculinity as Cat Noir? Trans people who are still questioning or don’t have a choice to transition can overcompensate to try being comfortable in the body they were born into. For example, a trans guy who can’t transition might try to be a very feminine girl (makeup, dressed, etc) or a trans girl who can’t transition might try to be a very masculine guy (get real muscular, grow out their facial hair, etc).

Just about every reason I’ve listed in all parts of this headcanon work just the same if Adrien was supposedly a closeted trans girl which makes this headcanon even more interesting imo.

Also, we do see him shirtless in Mr. Pigeon 72 which some people say debunks this whole headcanon that he’s a trans guy. BUT, this isn’t necessarily true. 1) Puberty blockers exist 2) it supports the flipped version.

This flipped headcanon would also be extremely sad if it is true that Adrien is a sentibeing. The ability to change Adrien to be the gender he connects with would be possible, but his parents chose not to recreate another version of him for their own sake. Or, they did possibly try but it’s what ended up wrecking the peacock miraculous, which might’ve made them feel some hostility towards Adrien.

There’s other characters in the show that are canonically queer

There’s absolutely no denying that there are queer characters in the show. Even though it’s not directly stated that Juleka and Rose are dating and that Nathaniel and Marc are dating, it’s made very clear that they are just based on their interactions.

I also heard Marc is based on one of the staff’s gender fluid friends, which is really cool! That’s direct queer representation that they clarified outside the show.

If you know anything about Disney, you’ll know there’s some homophobia and transphobia around the company. For instance, I also watch The Owl House where the main character Luz is openly bi and Amity is openly lesbian. They end up crushing on each other and dating. They directly state in the show that they’re girlfriends, show Luz coming out to her mom as bi, and have scenes of Luz and Amity kissing. There’s also Raine who’s an openly non-binary character - they directly refer to Raine with they/them pronouns. Their VA is also non-binary. And what does Disney do, despite how incredibly successful this show is? They wouldn’t let the creator renew it.

So, other Disney shows such as Miraculous and Star vs the Forces of Evil show queer characters without directly saying that they are. People might refer to that as queer baiting, but with Disney’s proof of being homophobic and transphobic, I can understand why these shows wouldn’t directly say what these characters’ sexualities and identities are.

Anyhow, considering how they massively hint at Rose and Juleka being girlfriends and Marc and Nathaniel being boyfriends, there’s that possibility that other characters in the show are queer, too. That’s why I and many other fans of the show can easily create these queer headcanons for many of the characters. There’s a lot of signs in the show.

#miraculous ladybug #tales of ladybug and cat noir #miraculous #miraculers #adrien agreste #chat noir #ml headcanons #trans #trans pride #ml season 5 #ml season five #ml season 5 spoilers #ml elation #ml multiplication #ml lies #ml season 4 #ml risk #marc anciel #marc x nathaniel #nathanael kurtzberg #juleka #juleka couffaine #juleka x rose

[wondereads]

Review of The Absinthe Underground by Jamie Pacton

Summary

Sybil and Esme are best friends, roommates, and maybe a little bit more. They are also poster thieves, though Esme only reluctantly plays lookout. One night, they are caught by Maeve, the owner of the Absinthe Underground, the premier nightclub in the 1920s-inspired city of Severon, and she offers them a deal; the funds to do anything they want with their lives in exchange for stealing the jewels of the Moonshadow Queen, Mab. And who could resist such an offer?

Plot 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Unfortunately, the plot of this book, while it boasts an intriguing presence and beautiful setting, is very rushed and never really takes the time to build tension. Throughout the book, Sybil and Esme must steal three items to then help them steal Mab's jewels. There's a lot of potential for each of these heists to be a clever, hair-raising scenes, but each of them lasts maybe five pages each. While Sybil is portrayed as a daredevil poster thief, she definitely doesn't have the skill set for these high security heists, and Esme absolutely doesn't. They get through these situations far too easily, and it causes the tension to fall flat.

The worlds of Severon and Fae are very aesthetically pleasing, and there's nothing really major excluded in terms of worldbuilding. However, there are some questions I just generally wish were answered, like some things concerning Sybil's family and what the actual power of the jewels is; if there is anything.

Characters 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

The characters are definitely the saving grace of this story. Esme and Sybil have greatly distinctive personalities and pretty decent development. Esme in particular learns to stand up for herself, and their relationship, even just platonically, grows a lot. Despite the lack of plot tension, there is good romantic tension, and the romance is very cute. It was probably the most enjoyable part of the book for me.

There is also a good side romance and some good side characters, but I will say that there are some side characters that really aren't well developed. Their personalities are flat, and their motivations seem to be curated just for the main characters to have aid in their quest.

Writing Style 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I'd say the writing for this book is pretty average for a YA novel. The descriptions of Severon really hit that 1920s, art noveau aesthetic, and, like I mentioned, there are quite a few scenes with some good romantic tension. Unfortunately, there is a general issue with telling instead of showing, especially concerning the main characters' thought process. There are many times when the characters explicitly explain why they think something or their reasoning for doing something instead of trusting the reader to draw their own conclusions.

Also, as I discussed in the plot section, the pacing is way too fast in this book. I don't often say this about a book, but it needs an extra 100 pages or so. The story would benefit so much from being taken more slowly, getting more spread out, especially the individual heists.

Overall 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Unfortunately, I was a little disappointed by this book. It has a great premise, the aesthetics really come through, and it's got a cute sapphic romance. The execution falls short with just the lack of space for the story. Things happen far too quickly when there are many scenes that really need space to breathe. It affects the tension and doesn't give much room for the side characters to show their personalities. The writing tends to tell instead of show, which may contribute to the rushed nature of this book. This book could have been quite good, but it ends up being somewhat mediocre.

The Author

Jamie Pacton: American, also wrote The Vermilion Emporium and The Life and (Medieval) Times of Kit Sweetly

The Reviewer

Hi, I'm Rose, this is my blog, Wondereads, and I review, discuss, and recommend books! You can check out my pinned post for more info :)

#books #reviews #the absinthe underground #jamie pacton #ya #fantasy #art nouveau #fairies #fae #heist #1920s #speakeasy #sapphic #wlw #lesbian #friends to lovers #lgbt #and they were roommates

[cha-melodius]

20 for the writing meme, please!

Thanks for asking! You picked a doozy, lol. (Ask me questions about my writing)

20. Tell us the meta about your writing that you really want to ramble to people about (symbolism you’ve included, character or relationship development that you love, hidden references, callbacks or clues for future scenes?)

All right, here's some meta for chapter 2 of Nova, Baby (why chapter 2? Because it's an entire 5+1 inside a single chapter of a multichap fic, which is meta enough reason to choose it).

So yeah, it's a 5+1! I thought this was very clever, lol. Also a little bonkers, but there you go. I love this chapter because it really is a huge arc in Alex and Henry's relationship development, plus I got to play with these little encapsulated moments, and some other characters got to come in too (Nora, Pez). I'll give you some "behind the story" and lists of references for each section!

Below will be spoilers for the entire fic, so be forewarned.

I. My excuse for food-as-a-metaphor-for-love. I love that canonically Alex is a good cook, and this was my excuse to have them indulge when normally you might not get much of that in spy fiction (although, this is also a bit of a reference to my other fandom, The Man from UNCLE, where one of the spies is also a good cook; fancy dishes at safehouses is kind of my jam). I chose molé as a dish because making a traditional one has so many ingredients, to really drive home Alex putting a lot of effort into his relationship with Henry.

II. I had such fun writing this one so that, even though it's from Alex's POV, the reader doesn't know he's wearing a vest until Henry does. He might not have been risking his life (much), but he was definitely risking some broken ribs. This one has a bunch of little references in it, mostly to other spy media:

jumping through a fifth story window into a swimming pool—this is a Burn Notice reference. Throw a mattress into the pool first. Also I just love the idea of Alex being a little Extra when it comes to being a spy.

three guys who look like they walked off a Guy Ritchie set—TMFU is a Guy Ritchie movie, plus I love his movies in general.

Alex hadn’t gotten any confirmation from Langley that MI6 would be a part of this op, Henry had just shown up and Alex hadn’t really questioned it—Meant to sow a tiny thread of doubt in Alex's mind, which would pay off later when the fake burn file comes through.

he notices the way Henry’s eyelashes are wet and clumping together and his eyes are rimmed in red—Henry fucking lost it here. See also the part where he kills the men rather than his usual incapacitating, nonlethal shots. This is probably the point where he realizes how deep he's in.

Turns out, they don’t argue about what to do with it. They destroy the hard drive—direct TMFU reference, (spoilers for that movie), this is what Illya and Napoleon do at the end with the missile plans.

III. The classic Nora-and-Alex-have-a-conversation-about-his-bisexuality scene. Also I just loved the idea of Alex being so oblivious to his bisexuality that he's actually sucked cock before and written it off because 'that's just what spies do'. The layout of desks/offices in this fic roughly comes from the show Covert Affairs, since it's one of the few I've watched that actually regularly shows CIA interiors.

IV. Behind the story peek: Henry bails on this mission because he's concerned, after Lisbon, that he's getting in too deep. Also this scene Alex being a Henry-sexual (not interested in going home with any other people in the bar but can't figure out why), which I love. Also Pez in a poncho, because he would. Pez and Alex have an absolute blast on their mission, and Pez gives Henry no end of shit about Alex when he gets back.

V. Tender wound-tending my beloved. This was such a moment of honesty for them. I mean, not completely honest, but I think this is the first time Alex really realizes just how much Henry cares about him (save the full romantic feelings). There is, of course, a massive callback to this scene near the end of the fic where Alex tells Henry that he can't die because promised he'd always take care of him. All that time, he's carried that in his memory. So yeah, this is a pivotal moment.

+1. Ah, the kiss moment. I always love a kiss-as-a-cover trope, and it made for a good first kiss in this one where it would be easier to write off the potential for feelings, since it was all for the mission. Lots of canon references in this one:

in another life, he would have made a great politician—obvious reference is obvious.

I suppose I could, I don’t know, fall into the dessert table or something—a refence to Cakegate of course.

Christ, you’re thick sometimes—I changed the quote because I wanted it to be a bit less severe than "as thick as it gets." Alex is only thick sometimes in this universe, lol.

Henry’s back hits the wall next to some kind of small, indoor tree—always kissing under a tree, these two.

public displays of affection can be strategically useful for diverting scrutiny away from yourself—yes, this a CA: TWS reference

ALL RIGHT, that's probably enough lmaooooo. You asked me to ramble and I rambled. I hope this was interesting to at least one person.

#nova baby #about my fics #rwrb #red white and royal blue #firstprince #rwrb fic #firstprince fic