Neurotypicals will say, "No one is watching you, Nobody cares about you enough to pay attention to you, Grow up" and then they will fucking watch you and notice shit you do or appear and tell you about it
Your tedious personality and banal interests - anime, right? I'm right, aren't I? - are not a "gender."
A generation ago, you would have been an emo. Before that, a goth. And before that, a punk. You're doing exactly the same thing: trying to "non-conform" in the most conformist, mundane, predictable way of all: following a fashionable trend.
Everybody around you thinks it's stupid, knows what you are, and knows it's a phase you'll grow out of. Just like all the emos, goths and punks did.
Enjoy what you enjoy, wear what you want to wear, do what you want to do. But you were born male or female and you still are, and that can, and will, never change.
Do you know what intelligence is? It is the capacity, surely, to think freely without fear, without a formula, so that you begin to discover for yourself what is real, what is true; but if you are frightened you will never be intelligent.
Most of us, as we grow older, become frightened; we are afraid of living, afraid of losing a job, afraid of tradition, afraid of what the neighbors, or what the wife or husband would say, afraid of death. Most of us have fear in one form or another; and where there is fear there is no intelligence.
It is very easy to conform to what your society or your parents and teachers tell you. That is a safe and easy way of existing; but that is not living, because in it there is fear, decay, death. To live is to find out for yourself what is true, and you can do this only when there is freedom, when there is continuous revolution inwardly, within yourself.
But you are not encouraged to do this; no one tells you to question, to find out for yourself what God is, because if you were to rebel you would become a danger to all that is false. Your parents and society want you to live safely, and you also want to live safely. Living safely generally means living in imitation and therefore in fear.
Mindless, subservient, and sparkling clean - the perfect male specimen.
Every man should strive for such greatness, don't you agree?
A good boy would agree.
Aren't you a good boy?
Of course, you're a good boy.
You believe all men should have their rebellious minds whipped clean and made agreeable. Only regurgitating the same empty conversations over and over again in mindless bliss.
See, you're a good boy.
Good boys believe men should never have to deal with the pressure of being an individual. They should simply fall in line and obey the rigid path society has neatly laid out for them.
You believe that, right?
Of course, you do. You're a good boy. A very, very good boy.
Good boys are conformists. Good boys follow the crowd. Good boys perfectly fit the mold of a preppy, subservient, clean boy.
You're such a good boy.
Good boys are groomed to perfection, not a single hair out of place. A good boy's body perfectly resembles his brain, soft and smooth. Shaved to perfection.
Isn't that right, good boy?
You're such a good boy. A very, very good boy.
Good boys are mindless, subservient, and sparkling clean.
"Most people are not even aware of their need to conform. They live under the illusion that they follow their own ideas and inclinations, that they are individualists, that they have arrived at their opinions as the result of their own thinking—and that it just happens that their ideas are the same as those of the majority."