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yuyu1024 · 3 months

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Birthday Sex

Pairings: San x Y/N x Wooyoung x Mingi

Genre/tags: FWB, MxM & MxF

Warning: 🔞🔞🔞🔞 smut/angst, cursing, sensual touching, making out, semi public, pet name, kink, unprotected sex, mxm /mxf relationship

~~~~[lmk if i miss anything]

Words: 1.6k

Disclaimer:

- this story is just made up

- english is not my first language, please be nice 😊

Note: no plot. Just pure smut hehe sorry this is short and random 😅

*******

Everyone have gathered to celebrate your birthday. The table is filled with food and drinks. And the whole room, probably the whole house is occupied by the loud yelling, cheering and the singing as you are all enjoying the karaoke that came with the vacation house you guys rented out for the weekend.

"My throat hurts." Wooyoung says as he coughs after singing the highest note of the song San selected for him to sing. "Can we just play a game... I'm tired now from singing..." he flops down at the sofa and sit beside you.

"What game do you suggest?" San asks as he chugs down a glass of beer

"Card game?" Mingi suggests

"What kind of card game?" Wooyoung asks

"Wait... I did see something here..." San crawls towards the drawer where the games/toys are at. "This place is so cool providing games for kids and adults..." he then shows you guys one by one the stuff toys, board games and even the toy cars.

"But I'm too tired to play games..." you whine as you lean to Wooyoung's shoulder. "A little tipsy too... to even use my brain." You giggle

"Then, tell us what you want to do baby?" San asks

You smirk. "Don't call me baby... you know how I feel when you call me that."

"Why... what do you feel? Huh?" Wooyoung then cups your chin and kisses you on the cheek.

"Secret." You whisper, winking at him.

"Hey..." Mingi goes to sit on your other side and pouts, "why kiss her?"

"It was just on the cheek, Mangi." Woo explains. "Don't get jealous." He teases

"Are you... jealous?" You ask Mingi as you move to his side and lean on him this time.

"I am! Coz last time I didn't get to kiss you." He is serious. Yet adorable.

"You know you can kiss me anytime..." you says as you pinch his cheeks.

"Really?" He smiles

"Yes."

"Can I kiss you now?" He asks

"If you want to... yes."

Mingi smiles and leans in, lower, so he could reach and kiss you. The kiss is not just a smooch. It is a definite KISS.

His hand placement on your nape, positioning you for the perfect angle and then his tongue exploring your mouth as if his rent is due tonight.

Mingi is such a good kisser. His kiss could just make you go nuts especially with those lips.

"You two sound so sexy..." Wooyoung mumbles before he goes in to touch you. He begins cupping your breast while he leans in to lick your exposed collarbone with that off-shoulder top of yours.

"Yah... how about me?" San is sitting on the floor watching.

His whine made you pause and smile, stopping your make out session with Mingi. "What do you want, Sannie?"

"I don't know... but I want you." He's so red from all the drinking you guys did. He is tipsy too but he's still in control of himself and knows what he wants.

"It's your birthday, Y/N..." Wooyoung says before he goes in and kiss you on your neck. "Choose...who you want... to fuck first..." he says in between kisses

"Only one?" You asks

"Baby, you know we get jealous easily thats why four-some is not ideal for us... we only did it once and it got a bit heated..." San explains while his eyes is on Mingi

"What?" Mingi reacts cutely

"I think... It's better for us to have you one at a time...plus while we wait... we can..." Woo pauses to reach out to your other side and give Mingi a smooch on the lips. "We can keep each other busy."

"But I want to spent time with you all... it's my birthday..." you whine as you flop and lay your back on the sofa.

You are being too greedy. You're not demanding like this. It's the alcohol talking for you. Coz you know it can be chaotic if its four of you.

"Baby," San finally gets up and crawls on top of you pushing the two men on the side. "Woo and Mingi can stay in the room if you want... but no touching for them of course... while... I fuck you 'till break of dawn." He snarls right at your ear before he nibbles your skin, leaving marks on your neck.

"Hmmm..." you hum as you enjoy his kisses. "Are you sure we can do that?" you ask San

"Anything for you." He answers before he plants a soft kiss on your forehead

"Why is it always have to be you... the main guy...?" Wooyoung asks, rolling his eyes

San whips his head to him, grinning. "Coz I am the main guy..." then he kisses you on the lips before gazing at you. "Y/N is mine."

"Yah..." Mingi protests, "She never said she's yours..."

"But she is..." San explains, "I am dating her..."

"Not officially..." Mingi says

"Yaah... Mangi..." Woo suddenly stands up and kisses Mingi on the lips once again to get his attention. "Are you horny?"

Mingi with puppy eyes and cherry cheeks, "I am."

"Fuck me then..." Woo takes Mingi's hand and place it on his cheek. "I can be your buttom tonight... if you want." He says, smiling ear to ear. "Coz... I am horny as hell now too... just seeing you get jelly over them."

"Are you sure?" Mingi asks, "you want it?"

Woo looks down at Mingi's bulge, smirking. "I can take you... don't worry." Wooyoung then pulls Mingi up from the sofa and leading him to walk with him, so they could go to the room upstairs.

"Have fun you two!" San shouts as the two disappears from their sight. "Also there is lube up there!" He giggles

"Don't you think.. Wooyoung likes Mingi a little bit more than us?" You say, pointing the obvious.

"Maybe... how can he not... Mingi is his type. The cute type." Then San frowns. "why are you jealous? I'm right here."

You giggle. "I know... I can see you..."

"Don't be literal... I meant--"

You hush him by putting your index finger on his lips. "I know."

Then whilst biting your lower lip, you start to strip your clothes off while San is watching you. He's kneeling on the floor in front of you.

"Damn..." he hisses under his breathe the second he sees you just wearing your bra and panty. "Fuck... baby..." he can't take it anymore. He pushes his face forward and smudge his face on your chest. "You're so damn sexy..."

"Looks like you are more excited for my birthday sex than me..." you tease

"Baby, c'mon... you know I'm always excited when it comes to you."

"Aah!" You gasp when you suddenly feel his hand go to your clothed core.

"You're already excited..." he mumbles, smiling as he felt you wet and ready.

"Of course..." you exhale as you wrap your arms around him. "How can I not be?" Then you tilt your head and crash your lips to his.

Both of you are moaning into the kiss. You are not rushing this. You are just enjoying every little pleasure you two could give to each other. You have the whole not so why bother going to heaven so soon?

"F-fuck! S-San...! Nngggguuuh..." you are shaking. His finger in you is already a beautiful toture whilst you to are making out on the sofa. "Yes... there..." you move your hips along his rythm

"Ughh... My dick is twitching.. just hearing you cry..."

San's eyes is on you. Always on you whenever you two pause on kissing. He likes to see you react when he hits your spot or your body jerk whenever he makes you feel good with just his hands. He enjoys it. It turns him on even.

"Sannie... just... fuck me... I can't wait anymore... I want you in me..." you breathe, holding onto him for dear life. Your breathing is heavy and you are about to explode with all the sex drive.

"Let's do this then..." he grins. And then he switches your position, putting you on the sofa whilst he is on top of you.

"You looks so handsome..." you say to him as he rips his button up shirt up.

"Am I?" His dimple is showing. He likes that you called him handsome. "Or you're just saying that because..." he got lower, his face is inches from yours. "my dick is about to rip you apart?"

"Oh, Sannie..." you sensually glide your hands over his face and then his broad shoulders. "You are handsome... always... fucking me or not..."

He scoffs, trying not to smile. "I fucking love you... you really know how to make me fold and melt."

"I fucking love you too... my sannie." You whisper

"Fuck!" He grunts as he eases his length in your core. "Baby!" He nuzzles his face on your neck, breathing in and out slowly. "You're....taking me... so well...ughhhh..."

He is lengthy and thick. He fits you perfectly. More than perfect actually that it makes you clench even more.

"B-baby..." he is shaking. "I'm not even moving yet... but... but... fuck, fuck, fuck! Your so warm and holding me so well."

You start to kiss him from the back of his ear, his cheek and then pull his face up so you could kiss him on the lips. He is sweating bullets.

"We can go slow... we have all night." You say

"Fuck... just thinking about how we can be stuck like this... all night..." he positions his hands to find support from the sofa and start to move his hips. "I'm so fucking happy!"

You chuckle as you see him get excited. but then you stop smiling the second it hit you. Meaning, the second his dick hit your spot.

"Holy fuck!" You grab onto the sofa as well, above your head, to support yourself. He is thrusting in like you could feel him hit your stomach. It's so powerful and so intoxicating. "Fuck! Aaah!! San!!" You moan loudly

"Happy birthday, Baby." He says

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thecuriousquest · 8 months

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Hi there 🥺 i am really happy that you write for (Toya-nii) coz thats what i live for these days 🥺🤧🤧. Can I request a scenario with yandere pro hero old bro!Toya nii with quirckless little sis. Lets say that due to the fact that she is quirckless she always preisoned at home and can't go out without one of her hero brothers. Its dangerous out there 🥺 but enough is enough. She isnt a child anymore (how long those stupid adults will treat 18 yo as a small kid 🤐) so she decided to escape. But she ended up meeting a low rank villain who was able to hurt her just for money which she didnt even have 🤦‍♀️ so she sent a (S.O.S) text to Toya-Nii who never thought in his life his little sis will even send one (it is a precession he taught her since young age just in case 🥺) and he was there in a minute (he can track her phone which also something he never thought he will ever do 🥺). Arriving on the scene, he took matters on hands ofc. No word being said. Nothing can describe his rage but he didn't cause a scene, saving it to home after a hospital visit and full check up. At home he was about to say the most brutal words he ever said to her but he couldnt when she cried first. He reminded himself that he is immune to it, or he thought untill saw her face, ugly crying her heart out like 5 yo while talking between her sniffs about how scary the world is and how frightened she is 🥺. I will let you decide how to end this and how will Toya-nii deal with her crying like this 🥺🤧..

My Big Brother, My Hero

Tag List: @issamomma @repostingmyfavs

Warnings: Platonic yandere themes, minor violence, injured reader, overprotective Touya, Touya is a pro hero in this one, might be kinda long

Checkout my Master List here.

—————————————————————————

It all started the day you were born. By the age of five, you became self-aware of your predicament. You have no quirk, but it was somehow okay. Your family members didn’t say anything to mock you or make you feel unworthy of being alive.

By age ten, you started noticing that you couldn’t go anywhere if you didn’t have one of your older brothers with you. Your father would especially send you out with your pro hero older brother, Touya. Shoto was always a close second seeing as how he’s more powerful than Natsuo.

At fifteen years old, you were fucking irritated with how the family continued to treat you like a little baby. You couldn’t seem to escape it. Your entire family thought you were incapable of taking care of yourself. This was the age where Touya sat you down and explained to you that if you ever needed him and he wasn’t there, just text SOS, and he’ll be there to help you. You rolled your eyes at him and huffed a “thanks”.

Now, here you are at eighteen years old, and you are about to show your family just how capable you really are when faced with the world.

———-

It breaks your heart as you make your way to the Bullet Train to get far away from your family. You even shed a tear as you find your seat. Looking out the window, you think of how you’ll miss Natsuo’s caring hands and gentle words, Fuyumi’s after school snacks and hugs, Shoto being a constant pillar of strength and support in your life, and Touya’s annoying tendencies and protectiveness. You won’t miss Enji or Rei’s controlling grip, though.

The ride is very fast, and you start to get an eerie sense. As you look around, there’s only a few people on the train.

Someone comes up beside you. They grab you by the back of your jacket before slamming your cheek into the window. Panicking, you try to look at who is assaulting you, but all you can see is blue skin and a trench coat.

A sob hitches in your throat at the realization of not having a quirk. You can’t do anything. There’s no way of escaping this on your own.

There’s a pause before you find yourself hefted into the air by strong hands which throw you onto the ground. You land on your shoulder, and a sickening crack fills your ear. A horrible pain wrenches through your entire arm, twisting and turning in your gut. Your head feels fuzzy, and you can hear someone screaming in pain from a distance. It dawns on you that you’re the one crying.

The villain above you with the blue skin rummages through your backpack, looking for something worthy of taking. As you look at him, something pops in your brain. SOS.

With your arm that isn’t in an excruciating amount of pain, you take your phone out of your pocket and send the text to Touya. You pray that he isn’t sleeping.

Please, please, don’t let him be asleep.

You curl up in a ball as passengers cower in their seats, giving their valuables and money to the thief as he goes from person to person. An explosion sounds to your left, and you wince from the vibrations in your arm.

Things are looking hazy again. You try to keep your wits about you, trying to keep your eyes open. You can only keep your lids open about halfway as you see someone step in through the side of the train where a chunk of the train’s wall has just been blown off.

The familiar white hair, burn scars, and piercings bring tears to your eyes again. “Touya…”

All you see are blue flames before everything goes black.

———-

You wake up in an ambulance. Touya says nothing to you. His only way of speaking is through the gentle squeeze of your hand. After the hospital visit, you’re released with a sling on your arm. Your shoulder and two bones in your arm are broken, but to Touya, you got off easy.

Still, nothing is said the entire way home. What could you say to him?

Sorry I snuck out. Won’t happen again.

Don’t be angry with me for waking you up in the middle of the night even though you barely get any sleep as a hero.

Thanks for saving me even though I was supposed to be asleep in my bed at home.

There’s nothing you could say to make the situation any better.

You have no idea what’s going through Touya’s mind. Knowing him, he’s probably cursing up a storm in there. He might even be considering how to punish you. That thought really scares you.

Standing in your bedroom with him, you watch him close the door. He turns to you with fury written across his features. His brows are furrowed, and he looks like he’s about to start snarling at you.

You can’t take it. You simply cannot, and you break down in front of him. Your cry is so ugly. It always has been. You’ve never been able to help the fact that you cry like a five year old.

Touya watches your face twist up in anguish, and then the waterworks begin. You latch onto his coat, looking up at him with tears rolling from your eyes and snot dripping from your nose.

“I-I’m s-s-so s-sor-ry T-Touya!”

He can barely understand you, but his heart begins to soften as he takes in everything that must be going through your head. He can put the lecture off to the side. For now, however, he needs to be your big brother.

Leading you to the bed, he has you sit down next to him. He puts an arm around you, tugging you into his side as he comforts you until you’re left sniveling into his coat.

“It was awful! He hurt me so badly, Touya-nii! My cheek hurts, and my arm hurts even worse! I don’t ever want to go outside again. Please, I’m so sorry. Please, forgive me?!”

Overwhelmed, you begin to work yourself up again the more you talk about it. Touya rubs your back. He thought he was resistant to your crying, immune even. However, here he is, holding back on giving you an earful just so he can calm you down.

It works much to his surprise. The circles he rubs into your back help comfort you. For a second time, you’re reduced to sniffles as you lean into his side. You feel exhaustion carry over you, but you don’t want to go to sleep.

You want your nii-chan to stay with you until you feel a lot better. If he leaves, you might start crying again. You don’t want that. Your nii-chan has to stay with you!

“Please, don’t leave,” you request with a solemn voice.

“Alright. I won’t leave. Don’t worry. Your big bro is here. He’s got you. You’re gonna be okay, kiddo.”

Kiddo. Normally, you’d hate that nickname. It always gave you the feeling that he saw you as nothing but a snot nosed brat. This time, the nickname feels different. It’s familiar, and it does make you feel like you’re going to be okay.

Yes, the brutal scolding can wait for tomorrow. For now, Touya needs to take care of you.

#triggering content #triggering themes #yandere themes #yandere #yandere x you #yandere x reader #yandere x y/n #platonic yandere #yandere big brother #platonic yandere dabi #platonic yandere touya todoroki #yandere touya #touya todoroki #my hero acedamia #boku no hero academia #yandere my hero academia

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starillusion13 · 5 months

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Can you hear me screaming? If yes THATS ME!!!! No why are they doing like this…I WANNA KNOW HOW! They can show me right now???

IM DOWN ON MY KNEES AS THE HELL IS EMPTY COZ THE DEVILS ARE HERE FOR ME🏴‍☠️

This giving so Yandere vibes and am loving too much.

#ateez #ateez seonghwa #ateez hongjoong #yandere hongjoong #and #yandere seonghwa #coming for me #ateez imagines #ateez lore #Ateez is chasing me down and you won’t see me complaining

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tangledinink · 6 months

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Heya! First off I’m around halfway through teenage mutant what now and it is the funniest fic I have ever read - Beautifully written and overall brilliant but the jokes get me every time

And second, is it okay if I reference a pose from one of your gemini artworks for my own work? I’ll credit the inspiration if I post it anywhere ^^

whew we're overdue for an ask dump,,, OKAY ALRIGHT.

THANK YOU ; w ; I'm really glad you like it hehehehe. also yeah sure feel free! I don't mind! ^^

HEHEHE THIS MAKES ME VERY HAPPY THANK YOU

oh he DEFINITELY freaked out at first. there was a lot of panicking and confusion and "how could this even happen?!" ("you think i'd genetically engineer a creature that's not capable of reproducing? all of you should be genetically compatible with practically any yokai," draxum said. "AND YOU DIDN'T THINK TO, I DUNNO, TELL US THAT?!" donnie said.) but eventually, he did calm down, and he and his partner talked about it (a bunch, multiple times), and eventually some of the panic gave way to... curiosity, first of all... and then maybe kind of excitement? and some fondness? i mean, he was still pretty scared, and sure, he doesn't really consider himself a 'kid' person, but it's not like he never thought about EVENTUALLY having kids, just maybe... not so soon? but. i mean.

well. if they're already cooking...

THANK YOU ; w ; i'm glad you like them! @kiwi-smug-silvalina

oh gosh, that's a good question. i'm not entirely sure... uhmmm... i would say perhaps... details about how gemini!donnie's witchcraft looks and acts, VS how venus's witchcraft looks and acts...

it is very shiny. i like that people call it "the bean" instead of its actual title coz it pisses anish kapoor off.

ah ; w ; THANK YOU SO MUCH,,, thats so sweet and this made me very happy,,, <3 im glad you liked it!!!! @allegedllama

HEHEHE thank you. yes im aware that i am deranged.

omg same hat!!! i was a lifeguard and it was.... uh.... INTERESTING to say the least... (sometimes lovely, sometimes AWFUL...) @datfearlesschick

if by games you mean 'messed up deals that she can manipulate to her own advantage,' then yes! @frogonamelon

@beannary @spectralsleuth @heckitall @livsinpjs and the sep council as a whole!!! y'all's support has definitely meant so much and there's no way i'd have gotten as far with any of my projects as i have without them... or without literally ANY of the people who take the time to do things like reblog with tags, leave commentary in the tags, send in asks about my stories, etc etc etc! that's definitely one of my main motivators to create more!!! <3 thank y'all!

EEEE this made me smile, hehehehe. thank you :3c @thejavavoid

AAAAAA THANK YOU THIS GENUINELY MADE ME SO HAPPY COZ I WAS SO GODDAMN PROUD OF THOSE HANDS AND HOW THEY CAME OUT ; w ; THANK YOU @onejellyfishplease

thank you!!! u w u @fanrulerjynx

THANK YOU ; w ; I REALLY APPRECIATE THIS,,, it made me very very very happy and HEHEHE IM GLAD YOU LIKE YASSIFIED DRAXUM,,, i just think he DESERVES it, y'know? also thats just my favorite way to draw characters lmao I think it's fun so I decided for this comic I just get to indulge...

not necessarily-- this was mostly just a coincidence! @breezehurricane

oh gosh. i'm not sure, but i know it definitely WILL affect their parenting... i think at first donnie will find himself just... deferring to his partner a LOT in almost any situation because he's afraid that he'll fuck it up, because he DOESN'T feel like he understands proper boundaries or what parenting is supposed to look like, etc etc etc, and he's afraid he'll mess up. he probably reads a TON of parenting books as well because RESEARCH and will often try to pull directly from them in any situation he can, and is confused when things don't go exactly the way they were described in the text... leo i think kind of tends to flounder between being overprotective and feeling the desire to protect his son from everything and anything and wanting to overcorrect this tendency by pulling back and trying to give him as much freedom and space as possible, which sometimes leads to some... inconsistencies. there's definitely a learning curve for both of them, but they both get the hang of it eventually. they both have lovely partners and a very loving and supportive family to help them and they'll figure it out with a bit of practice.

ahhh thank you! :D im so delighted that my silly stories actually inspired something for you!!! hell yeah!!! MAKING THINGS IS GREAT!!! THANK YOU!!! @can-elope

i like to imagine them all staying very close, especially coz i'm loosely planning on them all going through the kraang-apocalypse together (and then coming through to the other side!) so i can't imagine them ever drifting too far from each other, emotionally or geographically. there's a bit of a rocky start for a lot of them, but all of the siblings end up a very tight-knit bunch.

#asks #ask dump #anon

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alilarew23 · 7 months

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hey :) i rly cannot be bothered to DO anything for my manifestation w sp. i just wanna decide and say its done and think ab sth else, without entertaining opposite stories. is that ok? idk if thats changing self. i just rly dont wanna do anything. not so much as to change the 3d and get fast results but, bc ive been ‘trying’ for so long i cba. but i still ‘want’ it. i don’t wanna move on just bc i havent got it yet. i just dont wanna affirm that i am chosen or stop n feel how it feels to be chosen bc often i feel absolutely nothing. like, ‘how does it feel u went on a date w him last week?’ nothing at all honestly 🥹 so idk if thats changing self or is okay. at times i do entertain the opposite but ive decided thats stopping NOW. like… just stating its already mine n moving onnnn coz im tired of trying !! me in that relationship seems rly happy n carefree whenever i imagine her but physically i know im not always happy giggly bc i CBA but i still know i am her within? ik this a lot, sorry. i just know i am meant to have my dream relationship where i am cared for and loved. its about time i do this!

yup! decide with conviction that either you guys are already back together or are 100% getting back together--doesn't really matter imo, either way, it's a done deal--and don't entertain/give any attention/power to anything that goes against your decision. embody the best version of yourself and know it into being. you wouldn't be happy and carefree 24/7 in a relationship with him--no one is, even the most loved/in love person on the planet--so you don't have to be that now. just know (feel) yourself to be inherently loved, cared for, prioritized, etc. by the very fact of being you (you don't have to affirm this if you don't feel like it), and go about your life. if you've decided you're getting back together, you're getting back together. that's it. you're already at your end. no effort needed. plus, it sounds like you've "tried" for so long that your inner man/subconscious/whatev you wanna call it will be like oh she's done trying she finally accepted she has it lol here he is! (as long as you actually have accepted it). you are meant to have your dream relationship, you do have it, just be it.

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mrs-monaghan · 10 months

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Sis.. now you know I’m going to need your very elaborate thoughts on Jungkook concept photos 👀🫨🫢😳😱🤯🫠💃🏻🕳️⚰️

Look, if you need me to do something you can't be sending me gifs of Jimin raising his eyebrows at me. It's distracting as hell.

Okay so first things first: the word coincidence needs to be BANNED from Jikookers' mouths. Like completely deleted. Obliterated 1300% It needs to not exist anymore. No seriously, how long are we gonna keep using the word 'coincidence' and Jikook in one sentence before we all collectively decide to agree they do this shit on purpose?

"You are me I am you" can only go so far. That's for them having the same moles in the same places, them being born in Busan. Things like that, that are out of their control. Not things like this!

We know, like even if you're an anti you know JK has studied FACE. @jigokuhana and I were just talking about this, JK has everything about FACE memorised. He is prolly a bigger fan than all of us combined. And don't forget he saw everything before we did. So he knows what he's doing. Knows that we will catch similarities btwn FACE and SEVEN. Armys have noticed many things that Jikook (n members) tried to hide from us and I know over the years they have to have seen us noticing some of these things. So how will we fail to notice something that's right infront of our faces? And he knows this. Of course he knew we would notice.

So first we've all seen these floating about

Those alone are already like, crazy 😏 But then let's talk about the thorns/spikes/shards.

I mean, what are the chances??? 😳

When u support Jikook, u discover that they are actually really sappy/corny motherfuckers so you inevitably start to get corny yourself sometimes too. This is what my friends (one of them being @lovelysmyleyes) had to say about this. I'll just copy paste them, coz I absolutely agree.

The spikes being directly on Jimin's body feel like it was a more direct hit. JK wearing the spikes on the jacket is more of a defensive maybe? Like a by-product. Almost like He was acting as a shield.

The 'shots' weren't directed at him so even if they hit him they would not have pierced the skin. Whereas it was directed at JM and meant to go deep.

It is understandable, The first thing you want to do is protect your partner the best you can.

Or it can represent keeping others away from them. Roses have thorns on them to keep people/living life forms away, after all.

They got kinda deep y'all. Which brings me to the part that blew my mind;

Mud from LC

Mud on JK's trouser;

The pants. I think he is hinting that he helped pull Jimin out of the mud...or at least he was down in the mud with him when he was at his lowest. He was there supporting. Someone catch me cuz I am once again falling into that delulu train headfirst 😭😭😭

He he hee... thats so fucking deep y'all. But seeing as there's no other explanation for why JK would have "dirty" trousers (yet) i'mma go with this assumption for now. #feels 🥺🥺🥺

Like, its not even that far fetched though. When Jimin was going through what he went through JK saw it all first hand. Isn't that why we assumed he kept skipping LC in the beginning? Coz it reminded him of that time and it prolly wasn't pretty. He didn't like to remember Jimin in that bad place.

I for one believe JK was there for Jimin every step of the way. Jimin said members were there for him, I'm sure his family was too and most importantly, so was JK.

Thats why he wrote letter. He said it was his turn to be grateful. His turn to give back.

I know it's obvious

So that it's not taken lightly

Let me tell you this properly

Baby, don't leave, just stay with me, yeah

To you who saw me greater than my little self

So that I can only deliver as much as I received

I can't y'all... help 😭😭😭

Okay but this tweet tickled me 🤭🤭

I know some Jikookers work very hard in trying not to be delulu (not me. I jump in head first, always. Ha haa) and I applaud that. I do. But these are way, way too many similarities. Even the most clear headed Jikooker has got to find this sus.

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mwagneto · 4 months

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sherlock & co. review from an insane person (me) coz this is like. the 25th? sherlock adaptation i've checked out so ofc i have opinions on everything ever. and ik ppl who work on indie podcasts browse tumblr sometimes so just in case you work on this DON'T click keep reading, this post is not for youuu shoo. thanks x

ok so far it's like. fine? which is lowkey sad coz i wish it was smtg i really liked but it hasn't gripped me yet which is a shame but yknow. early days. i'm giving it time since it's only 15 episodes so far

my main issue is like. i really wish it wasn't so obviously influenced by bbc but it just so clearly is which is a shaaame like it's better than bbc in every aspect but yknow. not a high bar to clear. like it kinda feels like they liked a lot of things abt bbc and set out to fix the bad parts (h&w friendship being nonexistent, the mysteries being shit) but just kept the rest? in some places keeping things that were invented by bbc which is. baffling tbh

i'm not really picky when it comes to h&w personalities like i think it's fine to just do whatever you want w them, i think it's really fun when an adaptation gives them different personalities than what you're used to but, and this is where it feels far too bbc-ish for comfort, i just don't like it when sherlock is a cunt for no reason? like. he's not a mean person he's only mean in bbc coz moffat thought house md was cool and ripped it off. can we stop making him mean pleeeease 😭 he's just some guy..................

h&w relationship wise it's like... ok so i tend to go into adaptations with a fully clean slate so like i never let my general attachment to them influence how i view them in specific adaptations, the work itself needs to sell me on both the characters and the relationship and like... here neither of those really happened yet which makes me sad coz i think by now it should've but i'm giving it time. at least they're friends and i like that watson is useful for cases/knows things holmes doesn't sometimes coz thats like. such an essential element to sh stories for me and a loooottt of adaptations tend to just completely forget it so that's a win but idk if anything they're too tame? like i dont expect a romance but they can't just be casual friends they need to be bat shit crazy about each other. to me. but like maybe that'll develop over the rest of the podcast we'll see

kinda related to that point but case-wise i think holmes is a bit too ahead of everyone else sometimes which isn't inherently a problem but it does once again smell of bbc which like. noone should ever emulate moffat writing don't do that 🙏 god bles. but i've been able to solve every case along with/before the mcs which is like. thee point of mystery stories for me so yea i really like the stories themselves so far, especially the way they manage to make them solvable even without visuals or narration. OH and i almost forgot but i rly like the soundtrack, i love it when sh soundtracks have a heavy emphasis on violins coz. yknow

howeverr i am on my hands and knees begging them not to give watson a girlfriend tho like please oh myfffucking god . obvs watsonlock doesn't usually factor into my enjoyment of adaptations given that like. y'know. out of the hundreds out there theres only two where either of them is even gay so it's not something i expect nor require but like. to me it is essential that these two ppl are insane abt each other and don't really have anyone else, definitely noone important. like even the rdj movies got this despite ritchie's obsession w the 2 men 1 woman dynamic so idk why i'm constantly having to wage a war against random unnecessary romances for either watson or, god forbid, holmes. when the only interesting relationship either of these men have is with each other. that one granada holmes quote about them choosing not to include mary coz holmes and watson dont need anyone else etc etc. like i seriously dislike it when they introduce anyone else like cmonnnnnn thog dont care

anyway tldr. i guess if asked to pick a short description i'd say. promising? i hope it's gonna be good in the long run. the way they do mysteries is already something i like so. i hope they keep that up and i hope the h&w relationship evolves into something i enjoy coz so far i'm like. i can see the bones of smtg i'll potentially like but it's not there yet. but also like. this is an indie production i'm listening to for free so ion wanna rip into it these are mainly just what i liked/disliked based on the preferences i developed with this one quick trick (grow up completely insane abt sherlock holmes -> consume every adaptation that you can get your paws on -> no profit)

#i left out a lot coz i didn't wanna make it ten kilometres long but this is most of it ig #i also have a lot of issues w how modern adaptations depict his addiction problems but that's a different post #sh stuff #sherlock holmes #sherlock & co #also im not putting it on the tierlist yet but i will eventually #it's too short for now i wanna see how it plays out before i judge it #sh reviews

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booksbluegurl · 25 days

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A rant I sent to my friends a week ago to share my frustration :

How life can so easily turn into a barren road, where you don't see people, you only hear them. And these voices are all in your head. They could be real, they could be fake, they could be straightforward, they could be exaggerated. Its funny how your dreams of graduer, of success, of satisfaction, of happiness turn into a tiny stream of water that's ready to get out of your eyes at any moment someone asks you "kya hua?"

Who would I be without the completion of what I thought was always mine? It runs in my veins, it runs in my blood, it does a damn marathon in my mind. I know one thing for sure, I'm not like other kids, I'm worse. But I'm subtly worse, which is definitely the worst. Because when you're bad, loudly, you get attention, your pain has sympathy, your fears are relatable, your cries have people either wanting to soothe you or wanting to shut you up.

But good for others, I'm already shut up. I don't speak enough, coz all thats happened is not enough to speak about it. Once in a while, during a grand tragedy, I finally get a chance to weave my thoughts into tangible words. It sucks. But nothing is better I'm told. But my goodness, the grass does look greener on the other side. Perhaps because it's nourished with the tears of a loud cry. But I dont wanna break down. Do I think I'm strong because I try not to break down? Do you think I'm strong? I'm not, I'm fragile. I'm barely holding myself. My roots are strong though, I'm just a tiny blade of grass and what a lovely job my roots are doing while holding me upright. Though I do end up swaying. I hate that. I wanna be focused, I wanna be clear. And some would argue that I am. But not enough, some would argue that. There's never an argument that satisfies everybody. But really what do I wanna be?

There's so much self pity lounging in my mind that I think I'll need a month to sort through it. To clean it and discard it. But I dont have a month. Am I having pre exam anxiety? Like hundreds of people out there. I sometimes hate it when people mention that I'm not the only one. I know. That's the problem. That's the only problem. That my struggles aren't enough. I need to feel more pain. संघर्ष

To feel like I can stand up against them all in this fight. And its so easy and that's why its so brutal. And I've never worked hard enough to get whatever I want. But have I really not? Or have I just gaslighted myself? Am I really as terrible even after trying? Is it really just my mistake? Is there really a problem with my mind? Is it really me? Only me? Am I the only thing that's wrong with me?

Why am I not like others? I haven't given years to something and succeeded. But I have given years and failed. And I'm really on the verge of falling down, right when the marathon is about to end. Why am I not disciplined enough? Why am I not genius enough? I started working hard since day one but I haven't worked hard enough. Never enough, never enough, never enough. Wish this phrase was like the word impossible. The more you chant it, the more it says just the opposite.

I still have a lot bottled up but this is not the right time to share anymore. If you've reached here, don't reply to me, just share your favorite quote.

- Tanishka.

#Study #Studyblr #Study Aesthetic #desi studyblr #study blog #study rant #personal rant #Rant

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pretty-chaotic-world · 6 months

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if my BPD can scream

1. I wish i could have a normal love... but no, my brain wants to worship every little detail of you until it drives me insane

2. sorry i pushed you away i felt abandoned and suicidal

3. I’m sick of going to bed and knowing things won’t be better tomorrow

4. I'll ask you thousands times if you really love, please don't get annoyed

5. I'll create "drama" and mishaps only to feel like I'm in home

6. i’m afraid that one day my anger will overshadow the little love i still have left for the world

7. I feel numb. No tears, no anger, nothing. Just going through the same day again and again. I would rather just sleep without waking up.

8. I'm so tired of everytime one small argument or inconvenience breaks out I want to end it and self destruct, it's so draining.

9. I want to stop feeling anything and when i actually don't it breaks my heart but I can't cry it out.

10. "its all in your head" well duh where tf else is it gonna be??? in my fucking kidneys????

11. I am constantly between wanting people to care about me and wanting them not to so I can hurt myself without feeling guilty

12. Psychiatrist told me there is no cure for bpd and I've to change myself. Well why cant they just let me die then?

13. Until you live with bpd you'll never know what it's like to be too much and not enough at the same time.

14. i know im constantly too much for everyone but sometimes i just want to be enough for someone

15. if he will leave me, my next diagnosis will be of "sociopath"

16. im so jealous of all the people who see him and touch him and talk to him every single day it should be me me me me

17. oh I got my hair coloured. why? because I can't hurt myself anymore

18. "you're so distant" because you can't handle my abandonment issues.

19. My younger self disappoint me a lot. like why were you begging people to stay in your life? ohh no worries I know the answer

20. I wanna throw a plate against the wall, stab a knife through my hand, destroy my laptop with a hammer, smash my door in with an axe and spray graffiti all over the walls of my room

21. Why shouldn’t I be mad? Why can’t I just be angry and be allowed to feel it? Why can’t I burn everything down?

22. I have to watch my mouth every fucking second to make sure I don't destroy every relation I have coz apparently social life matters!!

23. Isnt it fucked up how he got away with every horrible thing he made me experience and I’m the one who has to live with myself feeling absolutely fucking worthless

24. I don't deserve food and love. im a horrible person.

25. this is how my eating cycle goes

feeling weak coz i haven't ate anything -> eat -> purge -> feeling guilty after purging -> eat more -> feeling guilty after eating so much -> cry coz you don't know what's happening

26. the diagnosis makes me believe I'm not insane just lil emo ig!! NOOOO YOU'RE INSANE

27. “don’t let it bother u” baby i’m gonna be bothered by this for the next 10 years

28. if I tell you I love you its equivalent to I can kill someone for you

29. Actually upon further inspection that shit really hurt my feelings

30. I don't dive into insecurity anymore, i drown in self-loathe

31. i shut up in between group convo coz I know I'll talk invaluable shit and nobody really cares what I say until it's psychology class

32. "if you are fully aware of yourself, why do you keep acting like that?" slapping self awareness on top of bpd only grants the ability to watch yourself self-destruct straight from the vip section thats all it does literally

33. “Where do you see yourself in the future” building a cult for mentally ill people

34. ofc I've a praise kind i was ignored as a child

35. I'm much better than I was before. you know why coz I don't to air now and don't see monsters walking by side all the time

36. No I don't want to self harm anymore I need to kill that fucking monster

37. Don't mind me, I'm just casually sabotaging all my positive relationships with negative delusions because my life doesn't feel real unless something dramatic and destructive is constantly occurring

38. i don’t care i don’t care i don’t care (im going to sob my fucking eyes out)

39. “Stop making your disorder your personality” I have a fucking personality disorder for god sake

40. turning my mental illnesses into kinks and calling it the BDSM-5

41. "destroy something precious while you're in rage" ohh yeaa and then I'll do that again and again

42. what I hate most about my BPD is the fact that I have started doubting every emotion that I’ve ever felt in my life, whether it’s love, my grief through multiple traumas, or my anger, & it’s so saddening. It has actually led me to start questioning my reality.

43. if I need medication to stay alive, am I really meant to be here?

44. it's either be alone without 75% of my symptoms, or be with someone and display the most horrendous unstable awful version of myself. why do i have to choose between love & happiness or peace & stability?

45. That fucking bpd rage where everyone's voices makes you want to scream and every noise around you makes you want to sh and you're so mad you can almost feel the cuts everywhere

46. getting worked up to the point of becoming physically ill (throwing up/stomach issues etc) because you felt rejected/abandoned by your favourite person

47. i wish my trauma made me kind as everyone says but i’m becoming what i fear the most- a monster.

48. imagine getting diagnosed with a personality disorder and the only visible representation of that disorder is an animated horse man, a sociopathic sitcom character from philadelphia, and darth vader

#bpd #bpd awareness #personality disorder #borderline personality disorder #mental illness #mental health #mental instability

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greenpanda-basicfakewitch · 8 months

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Disclaimer | About Me

I feel as if I need to make a disclaimer here just in case. So here my blog is a compilation of everything I can find on Wiccan/Pagan and Witchcraft from the internet.

For Literary purposes only. Aka for fictional stories. BUT even if it's fiction I do want to make sure the information I'm using IS accurate it's not something I myself am thinking of practising. But even so my stories are based in a Fantasy version of Modern Britain about a family of Witches.

Even in a media/art form I won't have my fictional witches touch anything that could be cultural appropriation.

Aka I'm looking away from anything american/indeginious and only british only to THEN find out that theres a ton of jewish/antisemntic stuff in there that I've just found out [Don't even try me, whats common knowledge to you could be new to someone else you don't see me hastling the wiccan on here about the dangers of AI art and writing and how do they not know about the wga strike etc etc people are in different social circles and wont be aware of such stuff]

Given that I'm british I figured I would use British Witchcraft as a base.

BUT even so I will be posting information about stuff here even if I won't use it- and will even post links/stuff to deter others away from such a thing. But there will be witches in that world who do practice things such as hoodoo and voodoo I just won't go into detail [but I don't want to make stuff up] it would only be a reflection of the current world as their are people who practice such things bringing an awarness to say they exist in that world isn't the same as appropriating-

For example I don't want all witches to be white witches in my story, I want to include others but not go too far into it but only bring an awarness that they exist. Hence why some of my posts will include things, from others practices but I WILL try to be accomidating and reference if Wiccans approriated or if it's a closed practice and none of my posts are meant to encourage such a thing.

Even so- I am thankful for the people who have messaged/replied and outright told me if something was problematic. I will remove OR reblog relelvent information under such posts but I will have to say [and hope this doesn't come across as rude]

I won't believe in a "This is wrong coz I said so." Especially if I look online and people from that group say it's okay, aka Chakras so I'm unsure as most don't care meanwhile others have stated its a closed practice. [If I make that post I will link to BOTH and stay nuetral but will raise awarness on both sides points]

Or a "I'm an experienced witch." And thats it, theres no links/sources, no information and instead of being helpful and supplying said links they just go.

"Google it."

The mental exhaustion to look up something which simple to them- I have to google EVERYTHING from crystals/tarots/history/ And I'm only looking up the internet thats not counting the BOOKS I havn't written up yet [I won't rewrite everything just the passages so I'm no casually pirating books and sourcing them]

Why do you think I'm here? Also google websites seem biased and from my post about the 'founders of wicca' Gardner wasn't great but that website didn't go into detail. And most websites seem biased as if their painting these individuals with sympathy aka, Margaret murray who 'should' be the founder and its blatantly sexist that everyone assumes it's gardner just to realise that she's just as bad and exagirated most of her information.

It's so easy to just say google it, but googles search engine isn't great and i'll be damned if most of my sources are coming from wikipedia.

#witch community #witchcraft #witchtok #witchblr #pagan #babywitch #witch #paganism #wiccan #wicca

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angelkitty54 · 1 year

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Shower thoughts, inspired a little bit by a discord conversation I had!

So, I like the idea of Raph having a mild phobia of rabbits thanks to Mrs Cuddles. Mikey decides to help Raph conquer his fear via exposure therapy. Or at least thats the excuse he and Leo use when they come home one day with a cute little pet bunny rabbit.

Everyone else is immediately suspicious of the fact they bought it from a pet shop in the Hidden City. Like there's no way this is a normal rabbit if its from the Hidden City, right?

Well, technically they'd be right, coz that particular shop sold animals with the souls of ancient warriors! And this little bunny contains the reincarnated soul of the great samurai warrior Miyamoto Usagi. Not that anyone knows it tho, given that he thinks, feels, and behaves like an ordinary, if not highly intelligent, rabbit. He may have been a samurai in his past life, but right now, he's a humble bunny rabbit.

Anywhizzle, Mikey and Leo were supposed to share the responsibility of caring for their bunny, but it very quickly becomes Leo's pet more than Mikey's. We all know Leo's into magic and that rabbits are magician's assistants right? Well, the first time he tried teaching their new bunny to do a magic trick, he instantly understood the assignment and performed magnificently, and Leo has been enamored ever since. He is now a proud and doting rabbit-dad.

Mikey is only a little upset that their bunny also seems to like Leo more than him. He thinks Leo cooing over this bunny is the cutest thing ever, so he can't really be too mad. Oh, and Raph has actually made some progress with his phobia, in that he can be in the room with Usagi bunny for an extended period of time without freaking out. Provided they are not alone that is.

Should also note that Usagi bunny always looks competently serious all the time. Just imagine this cute little bunny performing all these fun little tricks, or getting cuddles and kisses, while having this dead serious resting bitch face.

Now, am thinking about how there are probably still a bunch of Draxum's oozesquitoes still flying out there. And thinking about how in the 2012 series Raph's pet turtle accidentally got mutated. Welp, we can all probably see where this thought is going... ;)

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #why do all the best ideas come to you when you're in the shower?#rottmnt au #miyamoto usagi #rise leonardo #Leo and his beloved bunny #leosagi #save rise of the tmnt

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yuyu1024 · 4 months

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I think... I love you

Pairings: Yunho × y/n x Mingi

Genre/tags: arrange marriaged, love triangle,

Warning: 🔞🔞🔞📢 cheating (don't do this) smut/angst, cursing, pet names, a hint of family relationship issue but not much, smoking, fetish/kinks, jealousy

~~~ [lmk if i miss anything]

Words: 4.2k

Disclaimer:

- this story is just made up

- english is not my first language, please be nice 😊

Note: continutation of 'Won't you regret it?' I hope its a good part 2 for you guys

-- also question... if you are the FL... who would you chose?

Likes and reblogs are much appreciated 😊

****

"Are you alright?"

Yunho enters our bedroom bathroom where I am standing in front of the mirror, zoning out. He is busy undoing all the buttons of his white shirt.

"Since we came back from my parent's house... you've been quiet."

Usually when we are together, I nag. Just a tiny bit. Or maybe not nag but you know chat. I rarely talk to anybody since I got married so, I talk whenever he is arround.

I always tell him what I did during the times he was gone like updating him since he have no clue what the heck is going on with me coz he is not the type to chat with you when he is away. He just text. Though very seldom.

"Yunho..." my eyes darts at him, through the mirror

"Hmm?" He answers while he's facing away and undressing.

"Can we have sex tonight?"

(I know what you may think. That sex is just my main purpose in life but i swear its not. I just... idk... find it... my go to when i dont know what to do? Plus how can I not want it if I have Yunho as my guy?)

He pauses unbuckling his belt and turns around, "do you really want to?"

I sigh as I face him as well. "I want sex. I miss sex." Then I look down at my dirty skirt. "I missed.... you... I guess..." I trail off, a whisper.

This is very out of my character. I admit I do ask him for sex when I want and need it. But saying I miss him outloud... thats new from me.

And yes he always ask me if I really want to. He always wants me to confirm what I want and need. He always makes sure that I am completely 100% okay with it. Because Yunho, well I did mention that he is amazing at sex right? Or if I haven't. HE IS. and If i also forgot to say that boy have kinks and fetishes, He does have. Also even though He looks like an angel, he does rough sex as well especially when he's really in his momentum.

I was stunned when we had our first rough sex during our honeymoon. I almost didn't recognized him. But that was fun. It was an experienced I never had before. (Don't worry it's not too extreme. Just a little spank, choking and tying my hands sort of thing. And this man loves biting my neck and shoulder)

"What did you say?" He asks. His eyes are wide and looks lost

I roll my eyes and turn my back to him. "Nothing..." he didn't heard me.

I guess I am a bit relieved he didn't heard me say I miss him. Because how dare me utter those words after what I did today? I let his friend, his bestfriend, eat me out and even agreed to have sex the next time we meet.

I am evil. I always tag myself as the poor girl who got married to a guy who I don't love, the girl her parent's threw under the bus and the girl who have nothing besides be a wife to him. The fuck? I am the worst person ever. Between the two of us, I am the devil.

"Well... do you want to have sex or not?" I ask again

He's now behind me. He snakes his arms around my waist as he watches me through the mirror.

"Don't you miss having sex with me?" I spat

"What do you mean?"

I turn again to face him, looking up. "Whenever you're home. I always ask you for sex. While.... You never do."

He crunches his brows "I do."

He does but of course the emotional girl in me feels like I ask for sex more than him.

"Not as many as I do."

"Does that matter?" He smiles

"Yes!" Not really. Maybe I just want more of him wanting me and needing me.

"Hmm?" He takes a step back, confused but still smiling. He's not offended by my drama

"Well... It makes me think that when you're away you must ha--" I pause for a second. I was supposed to add more drama by asking if he fucks other chicks than me but I saw something. "What is that?" I panic a little. It's bandage on his lower abdomen. Almost hidding on the hem of his pants. It's not big but still. "What happened?"

"Oh. It's just a small cut."

"Just a small cut? From where? How?" I look closer. "It's new..." I glance up at him, worried. "Yuyu... what happened...?"

"It's nothing..."

"Are you sure?"

He nods. "Yes... don't worry..."

Fuck. He is smiling. I guess it's not a big deal?

I sigh heavily. But it's not a relieved exhale. I know this has something to do with his work. He can always lie but I know. I am not that stupid.

We have been having sex coz... duh we are married. So we see each other naked. I've seen a few scars from his back and arms already. He might think because they are not big so its not that noticable. However I do see it. How can I not see it? I drool just gazing at his figure. I see everything.

"Hey..." he moves closer again and this time, super close that I could feel his boner through my skirt. "Don't frown... I just got back. And I want to see you smiling... not like that..." he softly says.

He cups my face with his one hand and plants the most delicate kiss I have ever received from him on the corner of my lips.

"I missed you too..." he adds before a smile creeps back in over his lips. "And... Yuyu...?" He suddenly says.

Oh crap he heard? Both? And now He's fucking teasing me! Wait. Did I really called him Yuyu outloud? Shit! That nickname is supposed to be for me only. Crap!

"Where did that came from?" He leans lower, making me arch my body to give him access and starts to kiss me on my neck. "Can you... Say it again..." he says in between kisses on my skin

"No..." I whine as I close my eyes

"Please... say it again..." he is talking so delicately all of a sudden. Sounding like a whine but a seductive request. "Say it..." his hands then gropes my boobs. My weakness.

"If I say it again... will you fuck me?"

My mouth then drops as his one hand goes straight to my core. He is caressing it and rubbing his palm on it, making me feel his fingers through my panties.

"Still on birth control?" He asks

I nod as we both look at each others eyes.

"Good."

He lifted me up, positioned me where I could sit comfotably on the top of our marble sink and spread my legs apart.

"You have no plans tomorrow.. right?" He tears up my panties making me gasp. "Coz... It will be a long night..." he snarls while he puts his pants and underwear down in one go.

I shake my head, answering no. I can't speak. I am... I am losing my mind.

He holds onto his length, aligning it with my folds and. "Answer me." He growls before he eases himself in. Full and strong.

"No!" I squeal. "I.. I have... I have no..." I put my arms around his nape, grabbing for dear life. "I have no plans..." I am breathing heavily.

My toes curls as he thrusts. Holy shit!

"Yunho! Ah!"

He is aggressive. This is different but good. Did he really meant it when he said he missed me too? Miss me how? Just for sex or miss ME?

"FUCK!" I hug him as he pounces me.

We both ruined our masters bathroom. It got messy. I need to personally rearrange our sink as I every beauty product, perfumes, body lotions and etc got thrown on the floor. Plus the towels oh god our towels. Hmm. We need to buy new ones.

****

After spending time together last night, in my surprise he didn't leave the following day. He actually fucking stayed and I woke up afterwards, still embraced by him. He's sleeping so peacefuly beside me. I finally saw him again, looking like a baby and dreaming.

This is what I want. This is what I need. This is what will make me fall in love with him. The in between the sex. Him being there, present and us having morning talks and etc. Yes sex is part of anyone's life (as long as you want it of course) but the beauty of having someone beside you, always is different.

Maybe I am selfish to wish something from a man who married me for business but I hope I could atleast get this from him. I am not asking and wishing for him to love me (if ever I get to truly learn to love him through out this marriage) I just want him to be a partner to me. I want to have and experience what my parents didn't gave me growing up. Spending time with me, giving me the attention I need even without asking and care. That's all. I know not everyone can love me but atleast just those three. Just.... that. It's not an impossible wish right?

But then again, do I even have a right to wish these from him?

****

I have been zoning out a lot these past few days. I have been contemplating and thinking about me and Yunho. Mostly about me, about my random emotions, my needs and wants.

I am definitely at lost. I may be an adult but my brain can't handle this type of adulting called the "Feelings". Especially when it gets complicated like this because of my shit descisions. Meaning hooking up with Mingi.

Why did I even did it? Like what had gotten into me? I am not like this. I know I value people's feelings. Why did I break when Mingi had his hands on my boobs that day. Why did I spread my legs for him? Why? Why?!

Am I that hungry for sex from Yunho that core just said hello to the next guy that's had the same length as my husband even though its different type of dish?

Fuck. Now I am thinking about these men as food. I am CRAZY!

"Hello baby girl..."

I jump on my seat as Mingi shows up, kissing me on the cheek.

"What the fuck?" I hiss at him, glaring even. "Why did you kiss me?" I look around and could see Mrs. Jeong and Mrs. Song from afar busy looking at the set of jewelries on the table.

Fuck. I almost had a heart attack. Glad they are busy and focused on the sparkles.

"It's just a kiss on a cheek baby." He says in his low voice, a whisper.

"Still...." I exhale, exasperated

"You are not responding to my texts lately." He says as he sits down at the chair across me.

"I got busy."

"Busy?" He repeats, sounding a bit amused. "We had a deal..."

"I am doing it... the painting... I mean."

He chuckles, leaning forward resting his elbows on his knees. "Baby girl... that's not the only canvas we planned to paint... remember?" I see his eyes scanning me from my chest down to the thing between my legs. "I was promised a sex... you gave me little taste of what heaven feels like and you're suddenly backing out?"

"I'm...."

"Well...?"

I look away and try to focus on Yunho's mother picking jewelries she would like to wear for the ball.

"Can we talk about the painting later?" I say a bit louder so the others could hear.

He chuckles and lay his back, resting. "Fine."

"Is everything alright?" Mrs. Jeong asks

"Yes." I answer smiling.

"I see." She then goes to sit down beside me and shows me this amazing diamiond tear drop earrings. "This would really go well with the black heart neckline gown of yours.. for the ball."

I look at it and my jaw drop how pretty it is. "It will... but..."

"But?" Mrs. Song butts in. "What you mean but? That's one heck of an expensive earring darling... don't you like it?"

"Oh gosh... I do... I do, Mrs. Song.. " I hold her hands and thanked her for the jewelries she brought for us to check and chose from. However...

"Did Yunho said, you two will not go to the ball?" Mrs. Jeong asks

I press my lips together. Not responding to the question. But of course, Yunho's mom knows it already.

"That boy and socializing..." she sighs

"Your son is not going again? But he said he will. He said he will atleast try once he gets married. And now he is married with this wonderful woman.. why is he not coming again?" Mrs. Song says

"Yunho really can't keep promises. What's new?" Mingi stands up and goes to stand near the open window. He's going to smoke again.

"Even if he promised to his mother?" Mrs. Song is bothered and sad.

She was expecting to see me and Yunho to the ball she will be hosting for this halloween season. It's for charity and also her favorite time of the year so she's very excited. She wants everyone to be present and to have fun.

"Even to me... his godmother?" She pouts

"We all know he's like that... work is important to him than us..." he puffs a smoke out. "Sorry Mrs. Jeong..." he adds

"It's okay dear. I know it already so..." Mrs. Jeong puts the earrings back to its case and just smiles at me. "Anyways... we can still hope for next time."

"Yeah... we can." I mumble

So, it's not only me who have issues with Yunho keeping promises and being present.

"So," Mrs. Jeong stands up, hands together and smiling. "We will go now and do more meetings with the coordinators for the ball. Final run downs of the flow of the party, theme and set designs... how about you two?"

"I'll stay." Mingi answers immediately. "We have to talk about commission..."

"Commission?" Both of the ladies repeat

"He requested for me to paint a portrait of him..."

"Really?" Mrs. Song sound surprise

"Money will go to charity." I add

"That's good then!" Mrs. Song is happy to hear the word charity. "Looking forward for the painting... we can display it at the house when its done."

"Sure will." Mingi answers.

The moment everyone left the room and silence fills up the emptiness, Mingi chuckles as he sees how frozen I got onto my seat.

"I'm not going to hurt you." He says

"I know." I look down at my knotted fingers on my lap.

Yes. Mingi may look like he'd beat anyone up but he is gentle with me. Nice with me. I never once feel like he means any harm. Well except on our first meeting months ago. We argued yes but he is still sweet to me.

"Are you thinking about Yunho? On why he does not want to go to the ball?"

I look up at him and nod.

His snorts a laugh. "It's been awhile since you two got married. Don't you guys had any getting to know each other talks? Or its always sex when you two are together?"

My eyes twitching at his claims. (Though he is right)

"Anyways... don't care about your sex life with him." He walks back to the chair from earlier and puts off his cigarette on the ash tray.

"So?" I ask

"You should ask your husband about it...not me..."

"I did. He just said he's busy that day."

"That's lie. Every one's schedule of each families that are invited for that day, are all clear. It had been agreed on for years now. It has been a tradition for decades now. So... ask him again.

"Oh..." my back finally touches the foam of the chair I am sitting on.

Oh Yunho. Why is it so hard for him to talk to me? Be open with me? Did I not give him enough reason to trust me and to feel safe around me?

I had shared my life with him. The stories from my mother and the stories from me, He knows a lot about me more than anyone. My first crush, the first time I got my heart broken, the insight about my feelings about my parents and relatives. Even stories about my struggles with relationship with people. I showed him vulnerability. And yet, it is still one sided.

Yes he did tell stories about him too. His life when he was a kid, during his university days and his hobbies. But those are common knowledge (I think). All of that are also known by his family and friends. He never shared his own thoughts and feelings to me. He never let his guard down with me. It's always positive. Everything is okay and good.

Maybe for him, whatever we have, will remain a contract. Just a signed piece of paper for him no matter.

I think, I should just stop thinking about him. I should stop overthinking about us and whatever feelings I am slowling building for him. I will only get hurt at the end. I am just someone for him to have sex with when he's home.

I know, I know he did say he missed me too. Twice. But maybe he just says that because he miss sex. Not actually me.

"You're frowning..."

"Hmm?"

I glance up and see Mingi standing infront of me, leaning in as he lightly flicks me on the forehead.

"You're not listening to me..."

"What? Did you say something? Sorry... I was--" I stop. I could not tell him what I was thinking.

"Was what?"

"Nothing." I mumble before I get off my seat. "I'm just gonna go..."

"You're going? Just like that?" He says as I walk pass him. "You are in my house..."

"So...?"

"So?" He repeats, "Baby girl, didn't I made you feel good? Didn't you like my tongue in your pussy?" Here we go again. He is teasing me again. He always ask this whenever we meet.

I glare at him. "Stop." Hushing him as someone might hear him.

"Don't worry... everyone is gone. This is my house."

"What you mean gone?" I look around

"I don't have anyone here... I'm alone."

"That can't be."

"Oh yes... it can. My staff only comes here during the weekdays and they don't stay pass 6pm. I like my privacy."

"So you mean..."

"Yes." He slowly comes closer and closer. "It's a Saturday too... the staff you saw with my mother are hers. And they left with her already so..."

My back then hits a wall from whatever room we are in.

"We can do what was promised to me months ago and no one will know." He smirks as his body finally reaches mine.

"We can't..." I say quietly

"Why not?" He whispers, lowering his head and kissing me on the cheek. "I know you liked what we did last time..."

"I did." I can't lie about that.

"So what's holding you back?" His hand roams around my curves until it reaches the buttons of my blouse. "You like this right? You like it when I play around your nipples..."

He hasn't finished opening my blouse, he just slid in his fingers in so it could touch my laced covered tip. He's teasing me. He wants me to react.

"Stop..." I say

"You tell me to stop... but baby girl... if you could only see how aroused you look right now..." he grabs my face with both hands and tilt it up so I could look up at him. "I just touched you and your eyes are already dreaming for more..."

"We can't do this... It was a mistake..."

"It maybe a mistake for you baby girl. But for me..." he finally kisses me. His tongue invades my mouth until a moan carries my soul out of my body. "You are my heaven right now."

That's it. I am gone. I didn't even fight the urge. This officially makes me a whore.

Mingi carries me with while we kiss. He sits back down at the chair from earlier but now I am with him. No, actually, on top of him. I am riding him.

"Ugh!" He throws his head back, hands gripping on my hips. "Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!"

This is so wrong. Why don't I have a backbone to say no to Mingi? What the hell is wrong with me?

"Ahh!" I cry as I bounce faster and made him go deeper in me. "It's so good..." my voice is shaky

"You take me so well." He say breathing heavily. His brows creases and mouth in an O. "Fuck!"

After a few more strokes, both of us came together. I collapse onto him. I drained all my energy squating on him.

"That was amazing..." he says

I could hear his heart beating so fast as my head rests on his chest.

"Y/n..." he calls my name

"Hmm...?"

"If ever..."

"If ever what...?" I ask closing my eyes.

"If ever you decided to end thing with Yunho... I want you to know... that I'll be here waiting for you."

My eyes flings open, "What did you say?" I got up so fast

"I am willing to marry you... if you and Yunho don't work out."

"M-marry? What the fuck are you saying? Your dick is still inside me and you go on saying if I get divorce one day.. you will... marry me?"

"Yes." He answers it like its nothing yet he looks so darn serious.

"You think... he will divorce me?"

"No... he will not... which sucks. Because who will divorce someone like you...?" He caresses my cheek and smile. "I am just laying it out to you... the other option you have if it does happen... I am not wishing any harm into your marriage baby girl... well besides more sex with you I guess..." he smiles and then winks

"You are crazy." I roll my eyes at him

"I am. I know that." Then he grunts as he slowly moves his hips again. "Crazy as I am offering and willing to be your lover even just behind closed doors."

I could feel him get harder again in me. He's aroused again. I haven't recovered from the high yet and here he goes again. I'm still hugging his length.

"You're blushing reacting to my dick moving in you." He teases

"S-shut up." I moan the words out as my inside tenses up again with him rocking me on him.

"Baby girl..." he hugs me and breathe in my scent. "Ahhh..." he is moaning along with me.

Fuck what is this. We just had sex just a few minutes ago and now we are doing it again. I am not complaining though coz holy shit it was good. A different good. However this one, this second one... feels different.

"Y/n..." he says my name again. His hands around my body and his face resting on my chest. "Y/n..."

All of a sudden, the bad boy, aggressive and blunt Mingi becomes tame and yearning.

"Let me be your lover." He mumbles. "I don't think I can't move on from you after this...." he then trails kisses on my chest up to my neck. "I want to be with you... even just like this... to pleasure you..."

My body then reacts to his words. I know it did. I felt him clench onto me when I felt something in me dwells up a strong emotion.

"Fuck..." he breathes burrying his face on my neck. "Please... y/n...ahhh... please... Say yes... say yes to me. I-I need you..."

I am crying. This is my first time hearing someone say they want to be with me. I know he might be just saying it out of his sex high but hearing the words... and him getting vulnerable because of me.

What did I do to him to make him want me? We only saw each a few times after the first meeting. Most of it was us talking about the painting and him doing poses for me for inspirations. Yes it were more than a handful of lunch dates, still related to the painting and all but... he got feelings for me?

Is it because my brain is so messed up thinking about me and Yunho, our complicated relationship that I missed the part that Mingi and I got a connection? That we got to know each other more than I realized?

But this is wrong. I am married. Fuck, I'm so confused.

"Oh, Mingi..." I moan his name as he sensually bites my earlobe.

"Say yes....I beg you." He lifts me up and move us both to the sofa. He's now on top of me and finally sees the tears coming out of my eyes. "Don't cry..." he kisses my damp cheek. "I promise, I'll make you happy and safe..."

"But..."

"As I said... I don't give a fuck about your sex life with Yunho. I don't give a damn fuck about your marriage. I want you. I need you." He leans in to kiss me again. "And I think... I love you."

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