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#don't bring out the self-deprecating jokes
luveline · 7 months
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hi jadey!! can i request something with steve? maybe where reader used to be in a relationship where the other person made her to do all the work ( put in the groceries, clean the house, etc.) and one day steve is taking care of some of the chores and reader freaks out cause she’s the one supposed to be doing it?? it’s just an idea, no pressure lovely! hope you’re having a good day 🫶🫶
ty gorgeous! fem!reader
Steve hums when he's busy. No pretentiousness, no shame, he sings lyrics, guitar, and occasionally drums, too. You can hear him in the kitchen singing that Van Halen song he loves, his voice twisted tight as he tries to hit a high note. 
"Are you making a sandwich?" you ask hopefully, hanging your coat on the hook as you trudge in from the front door. 
You're in the kitchen before Steve's collected the wits to answer you. Your jaw falls open. 
"Hey, babe," he says. It's difficult to tell if the pet name is joking or serious, Steve in his pyjamas with his sleeves rolled up, his lips quirked into a funny smile as though he's pleased to see you but confused at the same time. "No? Did you want one?" 
"What are you doing?"
Steve holds his games up in surrender, a cloth held in the left. "I'm wiping down the counters?" 
"Why?" 
"I do this every Friday before you get home." 
"What?" 
Steve takes the cloth to the sink to rinse it out. Bleach bubbles squeeze from the fabric. "Am I doing it wrong? This is how I always do it. Wipe the counters, vacuum, mop. Why are you back so early?" 
"Steve, you don't have to clean. I… that's my job." 
"Then what's mine?" he asks, turning off the faucet and dropping the wet cloth at the bottom of the basin. He wipes his hands dry with a hand towel, ushering your forward with a gesture of his index finger. "Come here…" He wraps his arms around you. "All you do lately is work." Steve kisses your cheek three quick times. "Miss you."
You blink a little, overwhelmed, still worried. "Do I not do it right? It's okay if I don't, I can–" 
"Do what? The counters? No. I just figured it's my turn before the weekend starts and you go on your cleaning frenzy. Which isn't your job, by the way. I don't know why you think that." 
He's light-hearted, but your silence spurns him into a more serious tone. Taking your face into one still-damp palm, he narrows his eyes until they're more brown than anything else and says, "Do you really think it's your job?"
"I'm the girl." 
"And I'm so stoked about that, but…" He smiles, pulling your cheek with his thumb to encourage the same. "That's not right. Do you even like cleaning?" 
"I don't have to like it, it's housework." 
Steve can't seem to decide whether this is serious or not. He goes from smiling to frowning to impassive, his fingers rubbing a slovenly path down your cheek. Strands of hair like lace drift into his eyes as he ducks his head, his gaze on your chest. "It's housework for the house we both live in. I know you've been doing more of it since we moved in, and I'm really sorry. I'm lazier than you. I should've asked you about it, but now I've let you do more and you think you need to do all of it. I'm a dick." 
"No, you're not." 
"I'm a total dick. You think you have to clean up after me?" He brings you in for another hug. "Holy fuck, baby. I'm a grown up." 
You bristle at first, but relax the longer he holds you, his words sinking in steady. He's not criticising you; Steve is apologising and self-deprecating. You slide your arms behind his back and breathe in his smell, all things boy but with the sharp smell of bleach lingering. 
"I did it myself. You know, before. So that's why it feels like it's mine to do. Not your fault," you say into his chest. 
Steve pulls away. "Thanks, but I'm a huge dick no matter what." 
He marches you backwards and forces you back into one of the chairs at the dining table. You grab at his arms as he attempts to walk away, lifting your chin to kiss him. It distracts him for a while, the soft, slow press of his lips against yours, your hand in his hair scratching tenderly, but he can't be kept forever. Steve ends your kissing with a peck and beelines for the fridge.
"What are you doing?" you ask. 
"Making you a sandwich. Dinner and a show tonight, did I forget to tell you? You can eat the best BLT in the western hemisphere and I'm gonna vacuum the crumbs from under the toaster. Perfect Friday night, right?" 
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meatonfork · 1 year
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may i request more wholesome task force 141 but like with a gen z reader that’s constantly cracking outta pocket jokes and super self deprecating humor ect. and if not then more grim au would really soothe the soul thank you!!
ps. i love your writing sm you’re doing an amazing job 🙏
Platonic 141 x Gender Neutral Gen Z Reader
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ask and you shall receive :)
pairings: platonic 141 x gn!reader
warnings: self deprecating jokes, suicide jokes, reader being out of pocket
summary: just hc's :) this can also be applied to grim, as they are also gen z and self deprecating. so anything you see here, they have probably done
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you know that meme of ghost staring at you through the rear view mirror? that's exactly how he would look at you when you say one of your suicide jokes.
one time you noticed that price cleaned up his beard and told him he looked slay before walking out of the room.
"gaz." "yes sir?" "what the fuck does 'slay' mean, and why am i slaying?"
whenever you think one of the guys says something cool, or you agree with them, you just say 'real' with a nod of your head.
they just go along with it
constantly calling soap 'bestie'.
"hey, bestie. come here, i have to show you this sick new knife i got." and he will come running over like a puppy being told there's treats.
one time, on a mission, you got punched pretty hard and said something about it hurting less than when your dad hit you.
"how you feelin', kid?" "ah, my dad hit me harder than that guy on the regular. i'll be fine." gaz did not find this funny.
one night, while sitting in the commons room, soap decided to ask you what the stupidest thing you believed as a child was.
"that i would grow up to be happy." "dude, what the fuck."
you had a uti once, and instead of taking care of yourself, you asked price to bring in the firing squad to put you down.
"i don't really think this warrants this reaction." "it absolutely does."
telling gaz you have a mask kink, as a joke.
it wasn't a joke. he didn't know that.
he told ghost.
when ghost faced revealed to the whole team, you let out the deepest sigh of relief
he asked what that was about and you told him you were glad he didn't look like buff colonel sanders because he scares you
letting everyone know that when soap drives you are NOT the passenger princess, but instead a survivor.
calling price "mommy"
he cried the first time you said it
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a/n: i hope you enjoyed this! again, this goes hand in hand with grim :)
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vampqueen77 · 11 days
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Authors note: This is my first time writing anything, so please be nice! ❣️
Summary: The boys find out you have been talking poorly about yourself.
Ot8x reader 🫠
TW: sexual content (MDNI), afab reader, established relationship, insecurities, use of the color system, choking, use of pet names (babygirl, princess, baby, bunny, kitten, angel, sunshine, good girl, I think that's it), daddy kink, fingering, oral (f receiving), squirting, reader gets thighs slapped.
Let me know if I missed anything!
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It had been a normal day. Hanging out with the boys in the living room, just chatting and joking. Chan had been fairly quiet all evening. He was reminiscing about a conversation he had with his sister, Hannah. You had spent the evening shopping and going to lunch with Hannah as she was visiting from Australia.
According to Hannah, you had been back to your self-deprecating jokes. It concerned her how you viewed yourself and she relayed those concerns to her brother. Chan had become quite annoyed. This was an ongoing battle between you and the boys. They thought they had made it clear how much they loved you and how beautiful they found you. It's no secret to the boys that you have self esteem issues. You all had discussed on multiple occasions that if you were having self doubt that you would be honest and open with them. But you hadn’t.
“Baby? Can you come here?” Chan calls you. You walk over, settling between his spread legs as he places his hands on your hips. He looks up at you. "You know we love you right?"
"Yes?" You say laughing.
“And you know we think you're beautiful?" Chan asks.
Your smile softens and you nod your head. Chan smiles, "I don't know if I believe that." There's a short pause before he continues.
"A little bird told me you've been talking poorly about yourself. I thought we talked about this, did we not?"
"Yes." You answer, shyly. By now the other boys are heavily invested in your conversation, growing just as frustrated as Chan.
"We had an agreement babygirl. What did I say would happen if I found you talking about yourself like that?" Chan asks, his voice carrying a darker tone. You gulp nervously. "I would be punished," you whisper.
Chan sighs sadly. "Turn around," he orders. You do as you're told, turning to face the row of mirrors across from the couch.
"Take a seat baby." Chan says, wanting you to sit in his lap. Again you don't protest. Chans slowing snakes one hand around your throat, just holding you in place and forcing you to look at your reflection. His other hand takes up residence on your waist.
"Here's what we're going to do," Chan whispers in your ear, tilting your head to face the mirrors. "You're not going to look away from yourself. You're going to tell us each thing that makes you insecure and we're going to show you how you're wrong, do you understand?" Chan asks.
You know there is no point in fighting them, so you shyly nod your head. "I need words, babygirl. What's your color?" Chan asks you, staring sternly at your reflection. Somehow, you muster the ability to speak again. "Yes, I'm green."
Chan smiles fondly and gently kisses the side of your head. "Good girl. Go ahead baby." You take a moment to gather your thoughts, you knew better than to lie as that would just make things worse. You try to gather the courage to tell them the truth.
“My eyes, they’re too big for my face. It makes me look weird," you say shyly. Felix is quick to object from his place on your left. “No, baby. I love your eyes. The way they shine when you laugh brings me so much joy. It's my favorite.” He leaves a gentle kiss on your cheek.
You take a moment to process what Felix had said, turning to look him in the eye. The raw emotion in his statement flusters you for a moment. His eyes hold so much love when he looks at you.
“Good job, baby. Keep going.” Chan says, turning your head back towards the mirror.
You sigh, taking a minute to compose yourself before continuing. “My stomach. It’s just not very… attractive.” Jisung gasped loudly from his place on the floor in front of you. “Who told you that?!? I love your cute little belly! I love to lay my head on it when we cuddle.” He says, crawling and kneeling at your feet. “It's perfect.” Jisung continues as he leans up to lead a series of kisses down your chest and abdomen.
It feels so good. You close your eyes and lean your head back on Chan’s shoulder, whimpering.
There's a sharp slap on your thigh. You quickly open your eyes, focusing back on your reflection. Chan is staring back at you intensely as he soothes the sting. “Eyes on me, princess.” Nodding, you continue.
“M-my thighs. I think they’re too big.” You say quickly, taking your lip between your teeth. It was Seungmin’s turn to pipe in. “Your thigh are fucking heaven.” He says, gliding his hand across your right thigh. “The way they hold my marks so well…” Suddenly, Seungmin lands a harsh slap on your thigh, appreciating how the skin turns such a pretty shade of red. “Fucking perfect.” He reiterates.
You’re a whimpering mess, and they know it. They love it. The effect they have on you is obvious, as is your effect on them. Jeongin is desperate to get his hands on you. To show you just how perfect you really are. He joins Jisung on the floor in front of you, gently tracing your calf.
“Anything else, babygirl?” Chan whispers in your ear. You take a deep breath, unaware of the storm you were about to start.
“I don’t really believe that I please you well enough.”
The room goes quiet. Chan takes a deep breath before snaking his hand around your throat. You’re breath hitches. “Y/N. That is the craziest and most disrespectful thing you’ve said.” Chan says through gritted teeth. “Do you really think we would lie to you?” Chan continued, very clearly agitated. You quickly shake your head only for Chan to tighten his grip.
“I want words princess.” He whispers harshly.
“No!” You quickly answer. Chan just lets out another long sigh.
“Let me show you, baby” Chan says as his hand snakes down under your skirt, pushing your now very damp panties to the side to play your clit. You whimper and writhe, “Shh, let daddy play.” Chan says seductively. You attempt to cover yourself, but they simply couldn’t allow that.
“Let's take this off sunshine.” Felix says as he assists in removing your shirt. Seungmin sounds from your right with a satisfied hum. “Mmmm, no bra? It's like you were waiting for this.”
It isn’t long before Felix is holding your left thigh open with one hand while the other hand pins yours to the couch, Seungmin, mirroring the same position on your right. Both leaned over, taking a nipple their mouths.
You let out an embarrassing loud moan, bucking your hips to gain more friction. Before long, Jisung and Jeongin are taking over for Chan, sliding your skirt and panties down your legs in one fluid motion, working you towards your high. Jisung is quick to bury his face in your sopping heat, moaning out at your taste. He is sure to leave room for Jeongin to work. Jeongin watches your face as he slides two long fingers inside you. “So tight, baby.” Jeongin says, taking his lip between his teeth.
It isn’t long before they work up to a punishing rhythm. They assist by spreading you wider with their hands on your calves, massaging occasionally. Jisung's spare hand snakes down to pump his now erect cock as he whines into your pussy.
Chan's free hand moves to slightly grope the breast Seungmin is working on. The hand on your throat slightly tightens again. Minho approaches from your left. One hand massages the breast Felix is working on. He rests his other hand on Felix's head, petting softly, making Felix let you a deep moan.
Changbin takes a seat next to Seungmin and assists in massaging your right calf as Jisung gets lost in pleasure. He takes turns with Chan and Minho, whispering soft praises; calling you a good girl, telling you how well you're doing for them, how pretty and perfect you are.
All insecurities are forgotten. The only thing going you are able to focus on is the mind-numbing, euphoric pleasure coursing through your body. You can feel your high quickly approaching. You're so close to reaching that peak.
Hyunjin approaches from your right, taking his place behind you. One hand resting in his pocket, and the other grabs your chin, tilting your head back. Looking deeply into your eyes. "Hello there, angel." Hyunjin says, leaning closer. You let out a soft moan. Hyunjin chuckles, "Do you want something? Or are you too fucked out to use your words like daddy told you to?"
You look pleading into his eyes. "K-Kisses p-please", you manage to get out. He lets out a chuckle. He loved hearing you beg, but he wanted to reward you. Hyunjin wastes no time giving you exactly what you wanted. His lips smash on to yours. You immediately part your lips for him and he takes full advantage as he snakes his tongue into your mouth, making you moan lewdly. You break free from Hyunjin’s kiss as you start whimpering.
“P-p-please! Please can I cum?” You beg. Hearing a dark chuckle, you know it's Chan.
“Have you learned your lesson baby? Do you realize how perfect you are for us? How much we love and adore you?” Chan asks, sucking at the sweet spot behind your ear.
“Yes! Yes, please. Please.” You moan out, barely holding your orgasm back.
“Go ahead, baby. Cum for us.” Chan grunts out.
That was all the permission you needed. Seconds later you cum hard with a scream Your juices squirt out of you, soaking the boys at your feet (though they don’t mind one bit). Jeongin and Jisung kept going, working you through your high.
“Fuck bunny, you’re so good to us.” Changbin says. Hyunjin sounds from behind you, “So perfect.” There is a short pause and only your panting can be heard.
Minho leans in near your ear, “but we aren’t done with you yet, kitten.”
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pippin-katz · 22 days
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The Awardist - Nicholas Galitzine & Taylor Zakhar Perez
I have to write down the best bits and record my thoughts while listening to this because I am completely losing my mind over what is our first real interview with the boys that was recorded in real time.
27:55 - right off the bat we got a great inside joke/reference from the host that had me cackle
28:19 - taylor being happy to see their faces and nicholas immediately shutting him down like "well i'm not happy to see taylor's face"
28:40 - taylor joking about putting a post-in note over nick's face lmfao
29:30 - the way they don't want to talk over each other, it's giving alex's bedroom flashbacks
29:40 - nick being like "oh! oh, it's good!" when dipping into the online response when the movie released lmfao 😆
30:33 - the silence following the social media question where they were apparently nodding followed by taylor saying they were texting each other like "mate" "mate" back and forth
31:20 - THEY TALKED ABOUT THE SIGNING WARS
31:44 - nicholas calling taylor "this little fucker" had me dying cause me and @meraki-yao were literally referring to him as that in our conversation on ig yesterday
32:00 - nicholas genuinely asking taylor "what possessed you to do this?"; it's giving storage closet in the children's hospital vibes when henry's like "why do you dislike me?"
33:04 - "take it nick" immediately upon being asked the dense question regarding fans reacting to their portrayals of henry and alex, and the way that nicholas laughs and stutters makes me think that taylor totally did that on purpose to mess with him lmfao
34:00 - taylor stopping to talk to fans regardless of where he is or where he's going and specfically mentioning how meaningful it was that people have said *TW* they were contemplating suicide when they read the book/watched the movie and that it helped them 🥺
35:40 - the host referred to the film as "a coming out story", which i don't really agree with as a label because the coming out portion is an added piece of their relationship as two public figures, but their love is the actual story
36:40 - nicholas referring to the film as "wholesome and funny" made me smile so much because it truly is wholesome
37:18 - not the host making the "top to bottom" joke 😭
37:58 - nicholas and taylor have talked about their friendship with each other and how they instantly clicked; nick knew within a few minutes of rehearsal that taylor was "his buddy" 🥺
38:41 - catch me squaring up with everyone who has made nicholas self conscious and self deprecating about doing so much intimacy work on the screen that he refers to it as "basically his thing" like that's all he's recognized for; i am so ready to punch some motherfuckers 😡
39:10 - "it's so fun now, seeing my mate at all these awards and stuff"; catch me fucking crying
39:24 - not taylor misremembering the "nicholas or joey" question as "who was the better kisser"; he totally combined the "is nicholas a good kisser" question with the "who has your heart tonight" question
40:05 - taylor talking about matthew's background in theatre and how they got to actually rehearse with each other; i will never stop being insanely grateful that matthew is a theatre guy
40:55 - the way i said "oh my god" out loud because i was so excited by the question
41:14 - improvised the "physicality" of the store room; i.e. they just fell on top of each other and clamored around 😂
41:32 - the way i literally gasped so hard that i started coughing when nicholas called taylor "tay", i am not even fucking joking, that was so fucking cute 😭
43:42 - fucking wheezed upon realizing where the question going
44:02 - the knowing way taylor was like "i will take this one" lmfao
45:10 - not me going so red from second hand embarrassment 🫣
45:44 - taylor bringing the jockstrap that nicholas wears in bottoms, and nicholas immediately adding "i won't even go into mary & george" 😂
47:51 - taylor finishing nicholas' sentence about matthew's direction for the cake scene; sharing a braincell lol
48:36 - taylor's dog passed away the night of the first day of filming like wow, that fucking sucks 🥺😭
49:05 - "everyone's looking at me with these sad eyes" made me so sad but then taylor said "do you want some tea?" in a terrible british accent lmfao
49:50 - nicholas complimenting and boosting taylor's performance while having such a hard time emotionally 🥺
50:49 - taylor bringing up running through the museum; i can hear the smile in his voice while talking about it 😭
51:28 - they filmed the kensington palace fight and the red room the week after nicholas got covid
52:40 - oh my god, the way you can hear nick grinning as he throws taylor under the bus for the sequel question 😂
53:30 - taylor wants a second book to base the sequel off of
54:03 - taylor used they/them pronouns for casey!! see? he knows, it was totally nerves
55:20 - it felt like it was over too soon, i desperately need more of them PLEASE 😭
This is the greatest thing that's happened in like, a month for me lmfao I am literally begging for more people to interview the boys about RWRB, I am so fucking desperate for more content of the two of them together. They are everything to me 🥺
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fernlessbastard · 8 months
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So, what's the deal with this tnt duo art?
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I've explained it in my reblog of this post, but I've decided to copy this over to a brand new post as well, because especially with qsmp happening I'm sure we have many newer people here who don't get what's the deal with this piece
Ok so first off: the artist is _olga.exe_ on Instagram (I think also on twitter but i don't use Twitter so you'll have to check that one yourself)
To the best of my understanding this art just came out around June 2021, which was immediately after the first Revivedbur/Quackity interaction. The first two or so months the ship was exclusively seen as a crack ship - I'm not fully certain why, I think it's just that quackbur before wasn't all that known and popular, so it seemed like it came out of nowhere to the majority of the internet (which, it didn't, holy shit, those sluts have been so gay with each other for so long). It also was a time when most people only began realising that ccQuackity was capable of serious lore, which most likely added to how the ship was seen. Even I myself actually was very hesitant to bring it up to my partner, when I began slowly getting into it - of course while simultaneously deluding myself that it's nothing more than a crack ship for me (@octobre-ackedia oh would you look at how we ended up--).
This art was one of the first pieces that were fully serious, and couldn't be construed in any way shape or form as /p, so it got picked up by people on twitter and memed on. Around September 2021 tntblr began reclaiming it (and if I remember correctly we had a boom of posts sharing the original artist about that time).
In this surge of new people beginning to ship those two that's been happening for the past year or so, I need you all to remember that quackbur started off first as a very underground ship that almost no-one spoke of, and then became a crack ship. The header on my blog doesn't come from a "ha ha funny" self deprecating meme. #twquackburshipping was a tag that someone seriously used to tag a post about how Eret commented on some tntduo/r tiktok.
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I get how easy it is to forget how anti-mainstream of a ship quackbur used to be (or simply miss that, if you're newer - which, for the record, no shame, I'm happy to see the new faces!), considering ccQuackity's endorsement of it in the last months of dsmp, not to mention what's happening on qsmp, but all those "omg I'm a quackbur shipper ha ha don't hate me ha I'm cringe I know" jokes used to genuinely not be jokes something like 1,5 years ago.
I hope this explains it thoroughly, and to everyone a little bit newer to the ship: welcome! Glad to see you here, remember to have fun, and if you've got any questions, feel free to ask me :]]
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semicolonsspace · 2 months
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Stubborn Brat
Warnings: none, it's fluffy. (Cutesy and shit)
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Valentine's Day. The worst holiday ever to be made to mankind.
Every year, it never fails to disappoint me.
No one will ask me.
I push out of my self-deprecating thoughts and go to my last class; My free period. During my free periods I go to the lacrosse field to read, but today, the lacrosse team was out there practicing for the big charity game that's coming up. "Hey, Sti," I yell as I wave as he runs toward me. He was out of breath, sweaty hair matted to his forehead. He looked hot, and I always teased him for it. I smirk at him, "Oh my bad, I didn't not Mister Hottie was out to play today," I joke. 
Stiles rolls his eyes and points to his water bottle. It was a Mets bottle with the printed signatures of the team. I had gotten it for him years ago when I learned he liked them. I was 10, and I saved up and got him it and asked him to be my friend. He immediately accepted my offer and jumped on me screaming that I was the best. 
I grab the famous bottle and toss it to him. He squirts the water in his mouth and some on his face. "Thanks" he mumbles before wiping his face from water and sweat. So, what's your plan for this stupid Valentine's Day?" 
I glare at him in response. I plopped my body down onto the bench, and I couldn't help but notice his eyes watching my breast. Great day to wear a deep V-neck, I thank my morning self. "I was hoping to hang out with my best friend," I say in a teasing annoyed voice. I was talking about Stiles. "But it seems he doesn't want to," I add feigning annoyance, teasing him.
Stiles laughs and playfully elbows my side. "You know you're the only person I'd like to hang out with today, you brat," he chuckles, with a playful grin. He sits down with me, placing his bottle back in his bag. Then he pulls my body toward him. I laugh and lay my head on his shoulder. "What do you want to do today?" 
I blow a raspberry and look at him. My eyes had a playful glare to them. I knew we couldn't do what I wanted to do, mostly because I was too scared to tell him that I liked him. "I have no idea." I think a bit before adding. "Maybe we can watch that princess movie you talked about yesterday."
"The Princess Bride?" he asks as he wraps his arm around me with a content smile. "Sure, I'd be more than happy to rewatch it with you. However, I think this movie is more of a date movie. You don't have any boyfriends you could watch it with instead?"
I glare at him and then sigh. I squint my eyes after a few seconds. "You know damn well I don't have a boyfriend, Stiles," I grumble. I take a breath before adding to that. "My standards are too high and I'm pretty much a nobody," I laugh. I poke his side and ask him something. "What about you? Do you have anyone you wanna ask to be your Valentine?"
We laugh together as he shakes his head. "I'm in the same boat as you, honey," he sighs breathily as he wraps his other arm around me, ultimately scooting me closer to him. "If I could ask anyone it would be you."
As he says this he glances down at me with weary eyes, his brown doe-like eyes staring straight into mine. I shudder. All of a sudden my mouth runs dry. Did he just say what I think he just said?
After that brief pause, my eyes widened. "Really? You'd ask me?" I choke out. A beat of silence goes by, I fill it up with more words. "Well, what's stopping you?"
Stiles gives me a hearty chuckle, the famous curve of his lips returning. He glances at Scott in the distance and Scott gives him a thumbs-up with a cheeky smile.
Stiles sighs and moves hair out of my face with his slender fingers. I couldn't say anything more. I couldn't bring myself to do so. He had always moved hair out of my face, but this time it felt different. More intimate. I want him to do it again.
"You're my best friend; I don't want to mess it up... I couldn't bear losing you."
I think for a moment, my emotions being displayed on my face: anxiety, excitement, relief, and hope.
"Why don't we make a promise? That whatever happens... if it doesn't work out, we will work it through and continue being friends?" I ask softly. Hopeful. My voice cracked as I spoke with such anxiety I never thought I could experience.
Stiles' mouth runs dry in return. After a second he nods his head once. "If you promise to sell be my friend, no matter what, then I would be happy to ask you to be my valentine," he reiterates softly.
"Even through ash and dust, Stiles. I promise," I answer immediately. I smile cup his face into my small hands and kiss his sweaty forehead. "You aren't getting rid of me. I did hard work to be friends with you... I had to beg for weeks to get my uncle to give me a copy of his Mets signatures. Then get that on a water bottle. I didn't do that for nothing," I smirk playfully.
Stiles hums happily and returns the forehead kiss. I gush, blood rushing to my face as he began to speak. "You were always a stubborn brat," he chuckles, wrapping you in a tight hug. I feel his heart beat quickly, his breath quickening as he holds me in his arms. This is a core memory, I thought as I stared back into his beautiful brown eyes.
"Now I'm your brat," I whisper nervously.
"My brat," he hums deeply, still hugging me tight. "You know you're really cute when you act like a brat?" He asks as he leans his head against mine. He loosens his hug before squeezing a few times to show affection.
"That's because I'm me and you just think I'm cute, regardless of the way I act," I voice in joking confidence as I flip my hair in dramatic.
He laughs, rolls his eyes, and glances at Scott that was on the field. I glance at Scott as well. "True; I think you're cute whatever you do. Especially when you're angry. Basically... you're cute when you're being a pain in the ass as well," he teases as he rubs my lower back reassuringly.
"Me being a pain in the ass makes things interesting and you know it!" I blurt laughing loudly, causing a few people to stare.
"Eyes off her, Lahey," Stiles Barks angrily.
"Yeah yeah, I know, she's yours, blah blah," I hear in the distance from Isaac. "I heard the conversation," he grumbles as he waves his hand to get Stiles off his back.
"Are you going to be more protective like that? If so, let all of it go because that was hot," I say honestly, a smirk on my face as I continue to watch Stiles glare at Isaac walk away. Stiles was taken aback and slowly turned his head down to me. "Of course, you would like that, you practically fangirled when Kylo Ren had a temper episode."
I cut him off with a scoff. "He is hot and you know it, Kyle Ren and Annikan are two beautiful men that me and other women would gladly kneel for!" I explain in a loud whisper. There was no way I could scream that without people judging me.
Stiles shakes his head with a smile. "What if I said Leia is hot, hmm? Or Rey?" He asks sassily.
I stand my ground and agree with a hum. "I would agree with you, those two women are also very hot." He looks at me for a second, opens his mouth, then snaps it shut. I shrug at him with a "Don't ask, I don't know either but I stand by what I said" face.
"STILINSKI, GET YOUR ASS BACK ON THE FIELD AND STOP EMBARRASSING YOURSELF IN FRONT OF THAT GIRL," Coach screams across the field.
I giggle and whisper in Stiles' ear. "I can kiss you to show him you aren't embarrassing yourself if you'd like." He nods immediately. "Cheek or lips?"
"Lips," he says with heart eyes. I stand quickly and pull him up.
"STILINSKI," Coach yells again.
I take a step closer to Stiles, grabbing his hands and interlocking them. I stand on my tippy toes and lean up to kiss him. Multiple eyes were on me, and I was nervous, but as soon as his lips touched mine there was nothing. Nothing but me and my best friend.
I pull back with a smile, my lips wet from the kiss. "Go practice, soldier," I laugh at his hearty expression. He salutes, "Yes Sergeant," he yells.
"I'm not in Rotc anymore, dipshit," I laugh. He shrugs and pecks my lips a few times, humming between them and going back for more. I mess up his hair and shove him off. "Go practice, dummy!"
After practice, Stiles came running to me and squeezed me so tight I struggled to breathe. "Alright strong me, I need air," I struggled to speak. He let me go, apologized and kissed my face everywhere. "I missed my girl," he whispers to me.
"You were just here like 30 minutes ago," I laughed, kissing his cheek back briskly.
He gave me a look like I was dumb. "You just gave me the best kiss of my life and told me to go; our first kiss, to be specific. Of course, I'm going to miss you. I'd miss you if I didn't see you for 10 seconds," he shrugs, leaning his chin on my shoulder.
"You're a dork."
"And you're a brat."
"Brat tamer."
"Nerd."
"Dumb-head."
I gasp at him playfully. "You take that back! I am not a dumb-head," I exclaim with a playful hurt pout.
Scott walked passed us saying: "Yeah, that was uncalled for, Stiles." Scott had a playful grin on his face and Stiles shoved him before returning to hug me.
"Give me another kiss and I'll think about taking it back," Stiles smirks down at me. Scott raises his eyebrows and covers his eyes.
I laugh at the two dorks. I cup Stiles' chin and guide his mouth to connect with mine. Once again, I forgot that other people were near. I only realized that there were people near when I heard some of the lacrosse team members cheer for Stiles. I pull back with a smile, breaking into a laugh at the childish team members I've grown to be familiar with and adore. "Shove off Greenburg, Johnson, Garcia, Austin, you too, don't think you're hidden behind the bench," I laugh, using the member's name.
"You're not allowed to call him Austin, it's Vaught."
I roll my eyes at Stiles and glance back to Austin. "Vaught, shove off." I then look back to Stiles and ask with sass, "Better? Pretty boy?" He nods quickly and pecks my lips, humming with approval and kissing it again and again. "Stiles!"
"I'm sorry," he laughs. I smack his ass, something I do all the time. He squeaks in and runs with Scott as well as his team members who were waiting for him to go to the locker room. I watch him laugh and jump on Scott's back. A few of the members jumped on his back as well and ended up dog-piling. "Boys! Go shower, y'all stink!" I laugh. A few of them laugh and call me mom and I just flip them off.
This was fun to write. And so cute as well. I hope you enjoyed it, I love y'all babes! <3<3<3 Happy Valentine's Day!!!
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ghouljams · 7 months
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can you please take us back to the beginning? from where it all started?
what did ghost do that made price decide ‘yep, imma ship you out with the horses’ and how did price mention goose before ghost met her.
I have been dying to write some Price and Ghost fic. I wanna do some fae au stuff for them too, but for now we focus on the cowboys. So here it is. Ghost tells Price he'd follow him into hell, and Price asks if he'd follow him to safety too.
"You're not renewing your contract," Ghost has never been keen on beating around the bush. Price is used to that, used to the sharp look in his lieutenant's eye that asks 'what are you keeping off the record and should I do the same?' There have been enough times that they've had to scramble in the dark without the cushion of military contracts, everything less than official in order to achieve the impossible, that he should have expected the look.
"I'm retiring," Price tells him, tugs open the corner drawer of his desk to fish for a cigar. The scrape of wood echoes through his office. Simon fidgets, a short flick of his nails against the pads of his fingers that is quickly stopped by Ghost's clenching fists.
"Retiring," Ghost repeats, feels the word out like he's never heard it before, "didn't know men like us retired." Price hums, clicking his lighter with a growing frustration, fucking military grade bullshit. Ghost flicks his lighter on, and holds it out for his captain. Price takes a moment with his cigar, letting the flame burn just a little long before Ghost flips the lid shut.
"When's the last time you slept?" He asks instead of rising to the obvious, if self deprecating, bait.
"Last night." The answer comes just a second too quick. Practiced. It's a standard question from the psych eval Price knows good and god damn well Ghost's been lying on for years. The kind of scars he's got...
"Really?" Price isn't asking, he lowers his cigar and exhales heavily, feels some of the tension melt off his shoulders, "I didn't." Ghost doesn't blink.
"Don't see how, they just keep makin' the barrack beds more comfortable." He jokes, the deadpan tone a distraction from his underlying agreement. Price would bet Ghost hasn't had a decent night's sleep in years. It won't be any better with him gone.
"Your contract is up about this time isn't it?" Price slides a folder to the side, flips up the edge of Ghost's papers. Same date stamped at the top as his own. It's been like that as long as he can remember. There's never been any question of what was going to happen on that date, except this time around. "What're your plans for that?"
"Renew." Ghost says without an ounce of hesitation.
"Without me?"
Ghost freezes. Price can almost see the gears turning in his head. A new captain, one he can't trust, one who doesn't know who he is or how he works. A new captain that might bring in new people, who might decide he's too much work and have him transferred out of counter terrorism. Who might not let his psych slip pass, who might discharge him for any number of things Price has let go over the years.
Ghost is a good soldier because he trusts him. Someone new? After what happened chasing down Hassan and Makarov, it's anyone's bet how he'll play. Those betrayals still hangs fresh over all of their heads.
"You like animals lieutenant?"
"Animals, sir?" Ghost's head tips forward ever so slightly, the smallest breech in his rigid posture betraying his confusion.
"My wife's family owns a ranch stateside. Would save me the trouble of lookin' for an extra hand if you wanted to change careers." Price leans back in his chair, "Good place to spend your retirement if you like animals."
"When'd you get married?" It's not the most elegant topic change, but it's also not a "no."
"Soon as I saw how shit the barracks were," It's the truth, but it sounds close enough to a joke that anyone else might think it was, "Got a kid too, Goose, you'd like 'er." Ghost grunts, breezing past that one, though Price knows he's carefully filing the information away. Mind like a bear trap that one. There's nothing Price has ever known Ghost to forget.
The two men regard each other across Price's desk. There's a level of trust between them that's carried them to this point, past every roadblock. It's not something that can be built up over night, nor is it one the affords requests lightly. Price has asked a lot of Ghost over the years, both of them understanding that the only way out was through. Now they stand at an impasse. One of them leaving, the other hoping they'll stay.
Ghost doesn't know what he'll be if Price leaves. He doesn't know what he is when he isn't this.
"Simon," Price appeals, leaning forward, "Let me do this for you. Let me get you out before this job kills you. The ranch is nice, it's quiet, you'll have your own place, work. You can sleep there."
Ghost is silent for a long moment, his eyes dark, clouded, as they stare Price down. It's anyone's guess what he's thinking. The conversations they've had- Price knows as well --no better-- than anyone that Ghost lives his life waiting for this work to kill him. He can't bury him again. Can't mourn Simon a second time when he knows he could have saved him. Price couldn't be there last time, but now? Today? He can try.
"I'm not babysitting," Ghost says finally. Price smiles, feels the tight anxiety in his chest loosen a little.
"Who? Goose?" He chuckles, shakes his head, "Doubt you'll get the chance to meet 'er, but I'll make sure she knows not to bother you."
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the-rollerchloster · 1 month
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Parasocial relationships are strange. Parasocial relationships in a fandom like this one can be even stranger.
I want to preface this by saying that everyone is entitled to their feelings, and feelings are sometimes completely irrational. I am also aware that sometimes our feelings are driven by incomplete thoughts, and have a tendency to overwhelm us and those around us before we can process them. In saying that, I have seen a lot of conflicting emotions and reactions to the reveal that Misha Collins has a "serious" girlfriend (and a large cock apparently, but that is a whole other thing), and I know I shouldn't be surprised by it, but part of me is.
There was a conversation in my discord server over the complicated feelings people have about this news. As a cockles-friendly space this was to be expected, as any new development in the lives of either half of JenMish often spurs these kinds of conversations, but as it started to get emotional I was thanked for bringing some perspective. I hope that I can help anyone who also needs a different way of viewing this situation by making this post, while also helping myself to organise my own chaotic and complicated thoughts.
As I understand it, during the It Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time event at this weekend's Burbank convention, Misha told a fun anecdote about gift-giving with his new girlfriend and her daughter, wherein Misha got some things delivered to said girlfriend directly from Amazon, and girlfriend wrapped them for the daughter including what she thought was a microphone but was actually another similarly shaped item not intended for children at all. He continued to say that this "microphone" was for his girlfriend so she wouldn't need to go searching elsewhere for intimacy, as they are currently living in separate states. Now, I was not at the event, and the lack of recordings (recording was strictly prohibited, so if you've got one shame on you, I don't want to know about it!) means that everything I will ever know about this story and the way it was told to the small audience who were lucky enough to be able to attend this event comes as a form of the Telephone game, and therefore lacks a whole lot of body language, tone and context. We, as a fandom, have been severely burnt by this kind of missing nuance before - think DenverCon'21 - and it's these kinds of kneejerk reactions that have the potential to spiral out of control and limit the things we get told at future events - think bishagate.
Think for a second about your personal perception of Misha Collins. He's chaotic, he can be a little self-deprecating or self-effacing, he likes to turn serious anecdotes into jokes. He is also a passionate and caring man, who has a lot of respect and appreciation for his fans. Think about the way he tells anecdotes at standard con panels - it's often a bit tongue-in-cheek, a bit sarcastic, a bit exaggerated - so why would his behaviour at this event, which was specifically set up for Misha to tell stories he wouldn't normally have the space to do in a convention setting, be any different?
I am going to go through my thoughts on some of the things I have seen mentioned about what this all means…
First off, the elephant in the room, what does this mean for Cockles? To me, absolutely nothing. Whatever Jensen and Misha have going on completely transcends a standard sexual and/or romantic relationship. Misha was in his relationship with Vicki for the majority of his life, including when he met Jensen, and we all know she literally wrote a book on polyamory; his perception of relationships is literally shaped and moulded by this, and it's not something he's going to just switch off. Danneel has been a permanent fixture in the cockles dynamic this entire time as well. The JenMish panel at Burbank this weekend will hopefully alleviate any of the doubt anyone is having here, and give us some knowledge that regardless of how Misha defines his relationship status, things will continue in the same chaotic, loving and ridiculous nature we've become accustomed to.
Which segues nicely into the implication that the vibrator was purchased so she wouldn't stray, and therefore their relationship is monogamous. See above thoughts about tongue-in-cheek, exaggerated and self-effacing - when I imagine him telling this story, I see that cheeky, gummy grin going the whole time. Without the nuance of watching this unfold, I think we are all safest to assume that this was a joke, not a firm declaration that he has left his polyamorous attitudes behind.
On thoughts of him "moving on too soon" from his marriage and subsequent divorce, this is where my own feelings get complicated as well, but also where we need to remember that the key feature of a parasocial relationship is that we only see and know what he wants us to. We don't actually know what the trigger for that dissolution was, so in terms of the actual calendar timing it might seem soon, but emotional development and change doesn't run on a standard calendar. We don't know how long the process was before the decision was made to separate. I am currently working through a messy separation, and while I can pinpoint the decision to somewhere in the past 6-12 months, my marriage has realistically been dead for 3+ years, and we're a (supposedly) monogamous couple. As a poly couple, I can imagine that Misha and Vicki worked through every alternative option possible before landing on the decision to formally separate, and had probably well and truly been through the mourning period before it was even all over. Adult relationships are complex at the best of times, and no one ever truly knows what is happening in them except the people involved. I also think that as a man who is nearing 50 and just come out of very long term relationship, that he doesn't actually know how to be "alone", nor does he want to…
Lastly, for some of us, this is someone important in our lives who has found happiness in another person when perhaps we don't have that for ourselves. When those feelings hit, they can be extremely disheartening, and I want to send all my loving thoughts to anyone who falls into this category. It's difficult when the envy turns your stomach in knots and then your thoughts spiral into all the things wrong that mean that no matter how much you want to you can't just be happy for someone. Love and life are complicated, human beings are complicated, society is complicated. There is this hugely widespread and toxic mentality that we are all raised on that says we are halves of something that is destined to find our other half in order to feel whole, and it's utter bullshit. We shouldn't need one singular significant other to feel complete, and sometimes we get so determined to find that someone that we end up sacrificing ourselves to make them fit. (see also; Daniel Sloss' thoughts on this subject in his stand-up special Jigsaw)
There are many different kinds of love, many different kinds of relationships, and many different kinds of people. If anyone proves that to us, it's Misha Collins. He is walking evidence that human life is chaotic and unpredictable and indeterminate and we can make our own fucking rules. I hope that we can collectively be respectful of him, no matter what (or who) he chooses, and feel grateful for everything he trusts us enough to share.
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stannienight · 1 year
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Hi, I hope you are well 💗
I was wondering if you could do Saiki K x reader, where reader and Saiki are best friends (and he secretly has a crush on them) and reader just got out of a bad relationship and thinks nobody will ever love them again, so Saiki tries to help them feel better and hint that he likes them ?
☮️&❤️
let me tell you, i love this ask sm. it has so much potential. for now i just spewed out whatever i could but this is such a lovely trope, especially for someone like saiki
saiki k x best friend reader (after your breakup)
- okay listen. saiki is bad at being subtle. especially when you're so oblivious. it just leads to So Much Chaos
- the fact that you just got out of a relationship makes it hard to pick up hints okay - anyways, saiki isn't focused on getting you to like him or anything. his "hints" just happen to slip out - but it's not just that, right? you're also best friends. SARCASTIC best friends. combine that with your self-deprecation and saiki's inability to handle romance and there's a disaster waiting to happen - you: ugh what if no one ever loves me for who i am? saiki: am i a joke to you? you: yeah saiki: fair enough - you: i hate my ex. i'm going to devote myself to making him regret this saiki: didn't you waste enough time in the relationship? you, now woke: holy shit you're right - you: saiki help me glow up saiki: there is literally nothing i can improve you: IS THAT A DISS? saiki: - he helps you through the breakup, too. in true best-friend fashion, when you call him in the middle of the night with the news, he's in your room within a second. he brings ice cream, a blanket, and for some reason, a cat. you don't even know where he got it from. but you needed it - for the next few days he buys you gifts (which you keep telling him you don't need) but he wants to remind you that even he can do the job of being a boyfriend better than your ex - all your mutual friends are like, how oblivious can she get? and since when is saiki so bold? - saiki has no idea this is a romantic thing to do. "i'm just proving anyone can be better than he was wdym it's just a statistical thing?" - your friends find this whole dynamic hilarious- chiyo especially, the romance fanatic, who has never seen saiki exhibit any emotion - every time you spend time with saiki, kaidou and aren pointedly leave you two alone (dragging a nendo as oblivious as you along with them) whispering and giggling. you're so confused but not complaining - honestly, half the school already thinks you're dating? everyone except the two of you has just accepted it as a fact that you're a thing - dude: so saiki, how's your girlfriend saiki: what girlfriend dude: y/n? saiki: she's not my girlfriend dude: oh really? then maybe i can try confessing to her- saiki: dude: why am i in florida? - yeah okay he's just the tiniest bit possessive since the breakup okay? he doesn't want you getting hurt again - and don't worry he brought the guy back from florida ❤ i had so much fun writing this ong i canNOT imagine saiki being subtle at all or even understanding the line between close friendship and romance. it's all so objective to him and my guy's probably so confused send me asks for hcs, oneshots, or anything in general, even if it’s unrelated to anime or writing! saiki k and haikyu for requests but maybe go through my profile before requesting for haikyu <3
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riacte · 4 months
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hope you don't mind me asking, but how do you write/characterise ren?
Hi, thanks for the ask!
For me, Ren has a very distinct character voice, so usually I put in a few words from the Rendog language post and it does like 70% of the work if it's nothing too serious. Hit the dialogue with the Rendogification beam! I know there's a post of people Rendogifying DSMP quotes and it's hilarious. Add a "my dude" before/ after his dialogue and it'll usually work. And maybe pepper in some "get in line"s. Or "outrageous!", "geez", "freakin'".
For HC Ren / Ren in general, I put him as like... a friendly, enthusiastic, charismatic guy who's very supportive of his friends and he's always eager to help. He is kind and sees the best in everyone. He's also very dramatic and unashamed of his dramatic tendencies (singing out loud, posing, twirling). And of course he flirts. He flirts with everything. He's probably flirted with someone's houseplant. He wants everyone to get in line for him. He makes a lot of inappropriate jokes (check my #the rd difference tag) which is greeted with complete silence.
But underneath that, I think he's a guy who tends to look down on himself / self deprecating and he is soooooo self sacrificial. He's gonna be good at something then go "I've never been good at anything 🥺". And he is genuinely so eager to sacrifice himself at all times; he'll probably throw himself in front of his friends to save them. And I think Ren is terrified of being lonely which is why he's clingy. If you leave him to his devices for too long he'll literally burn / blow up his base (Last Life, HC 7). Ren is fantastic with words, he's optimistic and naturally good at bringing people together, but he's also just a doggy who wants company.
Ren is quite talkative and he can ramble about random topics forever. But he also occasionally asks questions to his friends so they can contribute to the conversation. And I think he's fantastic as a storyteller because not only is he a master at "yes, and", he also likes including his friends and subtly inviting them to roleplay with him.
Ren is highly sentimental and remembers a lot of memories. He's not afraid to go sappy and sincere and vulnerable, but then again there's his fear of being a burden. Ren has a tendency to trail after competent, snarky, and mildly intimidating people (insert Ren's greens: Doc, Iskall, Martyn, False, etc) and enjoys being lovingly bullied and lovingly used as a punching bag. He lovesssss being a pathetic lil guy. He loves acting sad and soggy. And he kinda loves being beheaded and beheading his friends.
Ultimately, I think Ren greatly values company and loyalty, and always desires a tightknit group of people to belong to, maybe to even lead (Knights of the Square Table, Dogwarts, etc). And he wants to be useful and not be a burden, leading to his self sacrificial tendencies. He is so eager to serve and offer his services to the rest of the server— in HC, he likes selling / providing food in the early days (HC 4 he made a farm, HC 9 Gigapies) and then proceeds to build infrastructure for everyone to enjoy (HC 6 Hermit Railway Network), or come up with detailed "game" systems (HC 5 Hermitron (?) and HC 9 Hermit Quests). In that way, despite his theatrics, Ren is quite practical and down to earth. Give the man something to manage and he'll be happy.
I don't read a lot of HC fics nowadays but I don't think I've seen like, really severe mischaracterisation of Ren. Probably because Ren RPs a lot so he can RP as a lot of characters which decreases OOC-ness, maybe? Ren's a bit pathetic but he's not a coward, he will literally die for his friends. And while Ren might be a bit of a "derp", he has decent strategies (sometimes) which is mostly him accumulating resources + building a secure fortress (evident in Life series).
For Life series Ren, it's similar but more... guarded and cautious. Still desires a tight knit group of allies (usually his top priority). Still loves gathering his resources and building his defenses. Is kind and forgiving to the point he's taken advantage of (this behaviour decreases in latter series). And he loves his allies with all of his life and would die for them.
Oops, this got long lol. Hope this was helpful! :D
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pardis-dhyai · 1 year
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Hello! I just found this blog and read through all your content, I love it so far :) May I request for Zhongli, Diluc, Kazuha, Wanderer, and Alhaitham reacting to reader making self-deprecating jokes a lot or implying that they could do better?
i'm so glad you like the blog anon <3 extremely happy that all of you have been so wonderful so far! gives me more motivation to write. i've got you! i'm assuming you're asking for this in the context of being chubby, so that's what i'll go with!
with an insecure chubby partner
characters featured: zhongli, diluc ragvindr, kaedehara kazuha, scaramouche/wanderer, al-haitham
pronouns used: none--second person perspective.
warnings: mentions of fatphobia and general themes of insecurity/self loathing based on body type, usage of pet names (my treasure, my dearest, dove) (zhongli, diluc, kazuha), physical touch as comfort (all)
notes: written with a chubby reader in mind. will not work if you aren't chubby.
zhongli will hear nothing of it when you express to him that you feel he could do so much better than you, whether you frame it as a joke or not. "nonsense, my treasure. I would love you no matter what form you took, and I am quite partial to this one as it stands. I have changed my own appearance many, many times over the years--and not a single one could measure up to your beauty." he gently takes you in his arms, his embrace warm and all-encompassing as any doubts left lingering melt away. zhongli is not a man who withholds any praise whatsoever, and this conversation will just encourage him to make it even more frequent. what kind of a partner would he be if his most cherished one didn't know just how adored they are?
diluc ragnvindr is stunned into silence for a good while. if anything, he is the one who feels unworthy of you, so you'll have to forgive him for just blinking owlishly at you for a few moments as he processes and thinks of how he wants to respond. "I...that's nonsense, my dearest. has someone been rude to you to bring this on? if so, please don't hesitate to let me know and I will take care of it. or perhaps I have not been vocal enough about how appealing you are. or--" you have to cut him off with a hug before he gets too upset on your behalf. he laughs sheepishly as you gently run a hand through his hair to soothe him. he's supposed to be consoling you, not the other way around! diluc being diluc, you both end up curled up on the couch to have an earnest and sincere talk about your feelings. he knows he isn't the best at expressing himself, and you make him want to change that.
kaedehara kazuha fixes you with a gentle but firm gaze and a raised eyebrow. "whatever would make you think that, dove? is this your way of letting me know I haven't been affectionate enough lately?" he's concerned, but he knows exactly what's going on--he can read you too well. he just wants you to explicitly speak your mind in your own words and tell him yourself what's eating you. and when you do, insecurities bubbling out of you like a fountain, he listens. after you finish, he nods thoughtfully, gently taking your hand and rubbing circles with his thumb. "you have far too harsh a view of yourself. not only are you attractive in body, but in soul as well. I believe I have chosen my partner well, and you cannot decide who or what is what I really need, as harsh as that may sound. accept that I chose you and continue to choose you, and that any perceived inadequacies are just that--perceived. not truth." leave it to kazuha to be gentle and wise, putting the rest of your fears to bed.
wanderer can't stop himself from outright scoffing. "are you stupid? who are you to decide who is or isn't good for me?" when your distress doesn't ebb, he sighs, grabbing you by the shoulders and looking you directly in the eyes as he seems to fluster just a bit. "look at me. I'm only gonna say this once, so you had better pay attention. I love you. I think you're the most attractive person ever. anyone who thinks otherwise is an absolute coward judging others on their body type. it's shallow to only love someone based on appearances, and it's just stupid to tell someone that's attractive that they're not. there. happy now?" he's so flustered by the end of his little speech, his gaze dropping to the floor as his hands still stay on your shoulders. he says he'll only say this once, but...you're too important to him. he's going to do this again.
al-haitham actually closes the book he's reading, his gaze softening in a way that's almost imperceptible if you don't know him well. "well, to begin, thank you for trusting me and telling me. as much as I respect your honesty about your feelings, factually you're incorrect. even if I didn't find you physically attractive, a human being is made up of much more than just their appearance. judging a person solely on one thing is reductionist and a frankly ineffective way of measuring worth. I didn't know you took me for a shallow man." he's teasing you with the last sentence, his tone shifting to his sarcastic lilt, and as you smirk in response you can find no fault in his logic. he has always been the one to tout that "uniqueness is an asset" and to disregard the opinions of others in terms of his life, so you can take comfort in knowing he backs up his words with his actions and personal philosophies. he's got his own way of doing things, but you will never want for reassurance if you should want or need it. he knows you're strong, but as any biologist will tell you, humans are social creatures. he's happy to provide you, the one that has more than earned it, with his support.
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throwaway-yandere · 2 years
Text
"No." (Yandere!Albedo/Reader)
A/n: I got sick but it just so happens I live off of spite so I finally finished this fic. Most characters are a bit/really obnoxious here. Also, the reader's state of mind and relationships with friends are unhealthy so if you're sensitive to the following CW please skip this fic. (If you're wondering why the fic is... Like this then here's me rambling here)
Unreliable synopsis: You kissed the most popular professor on campus. (Subtle yan!fic)
gn!reader
Cw: yandere, unhealthy friendship dynamics with clingy!sucrose & other characters, student/teacher relationship implications, the reader is an eccentric "class clown" with implied mild impostor syndrome, and small mentions of sexual harassment. (I'm not a medical professional so please take the impostor syndrome warning with a grain of salt– just added it in case this type of content is triggering. This isn't smut and it doesn't fully explore the last topic, but still please reach out for support if you are a victim of sexual harassment. Title IX is a very real thing.)
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"Does accidentally kissing someone cross a line in Title IX?"
That sentence alone makes you sound incredibly criminal out of context, and it doesn't get better with it either.
Your long-time friend, Sucrose, became fixated on setting you up with a romantic partner after the breakup you had three months prior. 
It was not a heart-wrenching tale, if anything, the entire relationship you had with Arataki Itto plays off as a major joke. You dated the man simply because you thought his impulsive behavior was entertaining, and oddly enough, he found your unpredictable temperament alluring. You just never anticipated that the idiot will buy an overpriced toy drum when you asked him to get a coke and "get something for yourself as well."
It's no surprise you permitted him to spend your money. But that wasn't even supposed to be a gamble. That was just an instruction, and he failed HARD. Arataki "I-swear-you-didn't-say-Pepsi(???)" Itto... got you orange juice. 
Breaking up was a huge relief. Instead of adopting a façade of the partner he wants, you have at last discovered the temporary freedom to choose over what you enjoy. For a while, they didn't treat you like a court jester; instead, they gave you the tender care you'd reserve for a helpless person.
Sucrose was distraught when you two decided to stop everything after Itto wasted most of your money by falling for Dori's scam. She appeared to be more affected than you two. Sucrose must have thought of you two as "the Golden pair" since she is naturally fascinated by research about personalities and relationships— more notably the 16 personality types. Seeing you two break up was an antithesis to her defense on the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator test. You broke up due to (financial) differences, and there's no unreliable science needed to learn that.
Here lies the problem: Sucrose refused to give up.
You've heard concerns about her callous demeanor in person and online. Some people thought it endearing that you have a friend who genuinely cares about you, while others consider her nagging to be a burden, and rightfully so.
You felt icky after accidentally seeing her list of candidates, yet you can't bring yourself to make a strong effort to stop her. Sucrose lost two of her best friends last year in an accident, and you are essentially the only support that's keeping her sanity in check, but sometimes you feel as though you are risking your health on the line. She had written down some questionably extensive background on every man and woman she thought was worthy... You don't even want to know why Ajax is on that list.
No matter the reason, that didn't stop Timaeus from barfing out his triple-layered peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
"W-WHAT on EARTH did you DO this time?!"
Sure is tough being a menace to society.
Hah... You're already on the brink of a mental breakdown and yet you still kept making self-deprecating jokes.
"WHAT'S with THE reaction?" You asked, casually copying his tone before you sank to your seat. "It's JUST a QUESTION."
"We know how you work, (Y/n)!" He knew you were purposefully trying to rile him up, yet Timaeus slammed a fist on the table in exaggerated disgust. "You did the EXACT same thing last time. You asked us 'hOw bAd woUld iT bE iF I datEd a gaNgstEr' and then you fucking did it anyways! What the hell– heck."
Timaeus's outburst was audible throughout the entire cafeteria, yet nobody seemed to care. The other people you shared the table with, Ying'er, Collei, and Tighnari all cast curious glances at you. It's not as though they have never heard of your misadventures before, frankly, whenever something happens they avidly observe it. You're all inseparable because of your shticks. However, apart from Sucrose, Dorian had been awol from your friend group, and it is no less due to the headline you're about to announce.
None of them took you too seriously, which they should have, given the nature of Title IX. As "good" friends, they should've worried over your safety and overall wellbeing. 
You could feel tears of fear and frustration swell up in your eyes.
Yet you couldn't be mad at them for reacting this way.
You're the chaotic link– the friend that didn't quite fit in– assigned to the role of being the "funny one." It started with a single joke until you unintentionally formed a false sense of confidence that you're something bigger than what you are. Everyone thinks you're hilarious, and you're afraid of disappointing them. You weren't trying to be funny most of the time, they just want someone to laugh and point at. Even though you are academically above average yourself, without your carelessness and gambles, you practically have nothing to offer this otherwise brilliant population.
Timaeus may not always deliver the right answer in his alchemy test papers, but he's never wrong about you even if he's drunk off of two bottles of Death After Noon. You recall Timaeus specifically in that instance because he was right; you have no future and you won't amount to anything.
In short, your image dilemma can be summed up by something you said high out of your mind in front of the mirror: "I think I accidentally gained an ego after joking about being hot and sexy one too many times, and now I'm being punished for my hubris." (You're never asking Lisa for philosophy book recommendations on Sundays ever again.)
And if it's true that you have no future and that you're nothing more than an insecure fraud, then you might as well come clean right now and let your "friends" break their ties. It doesn't matter, not anymore.
Ying'er laughed heartily. Contrary to her lover, she loves it whenever you act like this since it makes her normally composed and optimistic boyfriend snap and curse... You would know because she constantly divulges pointless details about how "hot" it was in private messages. And you two weren't even that close when she first did that. But now she's practically your unofficial attorney with how many times she played devil's advocate. You'll miss her.
"Why are you already accusing them? Who knows, maybe they're the victim here, babe. You're being too insensitive."
"Yeah, Tim, you should listen to your girlfriend over here." You nudged him and he glared vehemently.
"(Y/n), you're not supposed to openly agree with me, but yeah, why don't you give them the benefit of the doubt?"
You gave Ying'er a weak friendly wink and a thumbs up, feeling repulsed at yourself deep down. It's incredibly flattering for her to insinuate a professor would find you attractive rather than filing a restraining order.
She'll probably hate you once she finds out the truth, right? She did have a crush on your victim.
"This is them we're talking about." Timaeus glared. "They're bound to do something stupid. C'mon, Tighnari, say something!"
Tighnari merely shrugged and stabbed his fork into a mushroom (presumably poisonous, given its unnatural blue color). He had grown tired of dealing with your antics over the years. No lecture had ever worked in the past, and you both telepathically agreed that streak was not going to end today. You're lying about being self-possessed. He knew that whenever this happens, you were trying to be an idiot, and did not allow yourself to be an idiot. There's a fine difference between those two, and he knows which is which.
In a way, Tighnari views you in a more positive light than most of your friends. And he could sense that you have more grave matters to say.
So, he played along to help you set the mood. "I said this yesterday and I'll say it again: we're studying to become botanists. We're growing plants. Our future job isn't to help them grow a brain."
"Facts." You snapped your fingers and smugly nodded.
"Don't just agree with him!"
"You can grow plants all you want but just know my Timaeus right here doesn't need any more growing if you catch my drift~."
"Ying'er." Collei groaned.
"What? I was just saying his height is perfect enough as it is."
"I feel like we're having thirty different conversations at once." 
"Your mother is thirty different conversations at once–"
"Mx. (L/n)."
The table went silent. Except for yourself, who's still droning on, unfinished. Everyone noticed the uninvited man in the cafeteria and their lips were silenced. 
Here he is. 
"–eeegood evening, Professor Albedo." You stood up from your seat and slightly bowed your head down.
It's the untouchable Professor Albedo. The Alchemy Professor on this forsaken campus exudes a breath of freshness even if the scent of chemicals follows him like an affectionate dog. The only person that students would ogle at amid all the balding learning facilitators. Sucrose's mentor. Dorian's 32-year-old brother. The "Kreideprinz".
And the guy that might just sue you for your careless mistake.
Your circle caught the tension between you two and started watching the scene unfold like a car accident.
Professor Albedo cocked his head forward. You never claimed to be one of his adoring fans who can spot his emotions after one look, but your gut tells you that he's more than amused despite his stoic expression. He's similar to Dorian in that aspect.
"I trust that you've read the excerpt I've sent you?" He asked in almost a whisper.
You thoughtlessly lamely pulled up your library-borrowed copy of Title IX. In your perspective, nothing matters anymore, so you might as well let it out there.
Your friends jolted simultaneously, someone even dropped their utensils while Collei hit her knee up the table and hissed at the pain.
"Oh my God..." Timaeus shuddered.
Your friends had the face that collectively screamed "YOU MADE OUT WITH PROFESSOR ALBEDO?!" in all capitals, bold, italics, underlined, shadowed with thick black strokes– whatever makes it more out there. They're not in the wrong to react that way. 
In one single move, you broke 2 rules on the so-called Bro Code, one being the infamous "don't fuck my brother" and the second being the lesser known "don't fuck my professor". Not only that, but most importantly you violated a line or two in Title IX. 
Leave it to (Y/n) (L/n) to break more than three rules on the daily.
... You really should stop making jokes as a coping mechanism.
The cafeteria started to murmur, urging their seatmates for information they don't have. You released a small, clipped laugh. You should've thought that one through.
Tighnari meets your eyes with a sympathetic stare. You could tell he had more to say, but your heavy heart no longer wished to know.
"... Great work." The professor said just as nonchalantly. No doubt, he tried to salvage your reputation but you sabotaged it yourself. How wasteful. He beckoned you forward with one finger. 
"Come with me. We'll talk somewhere more private."
You walked away from your table and gave them one look.
They were incredibly disturbed to see a small sad smile on your face, rather than the wide mischievous grin that they were used to. After seeing that, they all had one emotionally detached thought in mind:
So, it wasn't a joke after all.
--------------
You neither like nor dislike Professor Albedo.
There are multiple fluffs about how friendly and dorkish he is as a reclusive person, but none of them sparked your interest. You often feigned reactions whenever Dorian expresses his apparent disdain for his more successful brother, and your sly smile barely reaches your eyes. If anything, hearing about the same man over and over again makes him feel oversaturated rather than entertaining. He's too perfect in those gossips that you're bored to tears. 
At least the rumors were positively right about one thing: his tastefully braided blonde hair and blue eyes make him no lesser than a portrait of a prince. But no more special than Dorian, in all honesty. You wouldn't be able to know which is which if they wore similar clothes and let their hair down. They're like clones of each other.
Albedo kept fidgeting a hand inside his pocket, and you can't hazard a guess as to what it is. A recording device, perhaps? You pride yourself on your ability to read and toy people like clockwork. That ability, however, does not translate well with Professor Albedo. 
You snapped out of your trance as the professor began reading what was on his clipboard.
"(Y/n) (L/n). 27. Graduate School. Taking a Ph.D. Botany program– though if I hadn't known that, I would've guessed you were a music major." Albedo vaguely pointed at your face without looking. "Your tongue would've fooled me."
You flinched. Is he teasing you or scolding you– you can't make sense of his tone. He's too monotonous.
"Professor, are you uncomfortable right now? If so, I could leave if you wish and we can talk via email instead about your complaint."
Professor Albedo eyed you carefully this time, even though he's squirmish. The tone you used to address him and your overall body language differ greatly from how you behave in the company of your friend group. Your professionalism does not match how the rumors perceive you. This is probably the reason why young professor Kusanali didn't believe any rumors about you. He was impressed.
"Am I supposed to be happy that you’re not giving me a moment of your time?” He said. "It's a bit difficult to achieve that state when you have yet to slip out of my mind. You did assault me yesterday–"
"Yes, yes, I'm well aware of that, Professor." You cringed. "But–"
"Albedo."
"Sorry?"
"You kissed me, (Y/n). I think you can call me Albedo."
"Right." You chuckled nervously. "Like I was saying, P-Professor, it's all a major misunderstanding. I wasn't aiming to assault you."
Albedo raised an eyebrow. He did not miss the way you suavely dodged calling him by name. Other than that, assault is a strong word, and he did not expect you to use it as well. 
You thought it was a fitting word to use. Albedo barely makes eye contact, and he probably doesn't like being reminded that you stole a kiss from him.
"It's Albedo. So, you were planning to sexually assault another student?"
He is relentlessly quick on the uptake. Albedo sounded like a cop. What he said was correct, absurdly phrased, but correct nonetheless.
"I mean..." You rubbed your hands against your pants. They were a bit sweaty, and you had to accept the fact you were not faking it. You are genuinely anxious. "When you put it like that, it does sound inexcusable doesn't it?"
"It is a positively hair-raising notion, yes." Albedo deadpanned. "And if I had to take an educated guess, you were planning to assault my younger brother Dorian and you mistook me for him instead."
"..."
Figuring that out was a no-brainer. Although Professor Albedo is older than his brother, their appearance and physique make them appear twin-like. Dorian once droned about how it happened due to Albedo's poor upbringing under their aunt Alice's guidance, making his growth stunted. And his tendency to talk your ear out is one of many reasons why your intrusive thoughts often suggest that Dorian had no personality outside being the renowned professor Albedo's younger brother. Hence, you don't absorb a word of what he says. You didn't listen to gossip often cause you figured that you were not one for trivial gossip like the rest of the student botanists. 
... And based on the dilemma you find yourself in now, it appears as though you don't have common sense like the rest of your peers either–
"Please stop woolgathering. Is there a more interesting specimen to take note of on the floor? You seem to be more intrigued by what's on your shoes."
You cringed for what you felt like the 1000th milestone at that point.
"Professor, I know that I sound terrible–"
Albedo sighed. "I would never insinuate that, Mx. (L/n)." 
"But you keep cutting me off." You said in a questioning tone. It sounded a lot more polite in your head, yet the famous Kreideprinz was flustered by your reply.
He cleared his throat. "Sorry. I didn't mean to. Carry on. You are aware that you sound like a sex offender, and?"
That came out incredibly cold. It felt like being under the cold blade of a frigid prince, and his icy stare and light complexion just adds the cherry on top. The professor said that he wasn't insulting you but his paraphrasing is exactly that. You didn't comment on it, figuring your education is more important than a harsh remark, and continued.
"... The truth is," you took a deep breath. "I only kissed you cause, well, I mistook you for Dorian, and also because I was trying to get Sucrose–."
"Sucrose?" Professor Albedo's eyebrows furrowed. "Sucrose, one of my–"
"Your student assistants? Y-Yes, sir." You nodded hesitantly. "We're best friends– not that it's unsurprising since I am a bad influence and she's a good person. I recently went through a breakup and she's worried about me. Dorian agreed to fake date and make Sucrose believe that she accidentally found us making out in a room to make it more believable but–"
"You mistook me for my brother."
"... Yeeaaahhh...."
"..."
This reminded you of your conversation with Dorian a while back. You asked if he and his brother would switch lives for a day, and he cackled and told you it happens more than the number you were thinking of. The moment you realized who you were kissing, you clung to the sliver of hope that it was Dorian wearing his brother's lab coat. It was not.
You looked down at your shoes again. It's too embarrassing and shameful that your entire lineage will probably be cursed. 
"..."
Knowing that you won't talk until he does, Professor Albedo read through his notes for a topic.
"Understandable. I presume you know my brother because you're both on the same course and are on similar schedules?"
"Yes, sir." Should you tell him the whole fake-date thing was Dorian's idea as well?
"It's Albedo to you. And to add to that, Sucrose is under the impression that we're dating."
"I think so, sir."
"That's not a question, (Y/n), that's a fact." He said. "She recently confronted me to ask if we're dating."
You gulped. Moment of truth.
"What did you tell her, sir?"
"What do you want me to tell her?"
You could hear your pulse pounding in your ears. 
On one hand, you want her to know what happened, but at the same time that would just blow you and Dorian's cover story.
But was that a smug tone you heard? Is he toying with you?
You bit your bottom lip. 
"... Yes, I think? What did you say, professor?"
"Albedo."
You tilted your head. "What?"
"Respectfully, please call me by my name and I'll tell you the answer." He smirked curtly, but it was gone before you could process it.
"S-Sir!"
Albedo shrugged. "Guess you'll have to ask her directly–"
"Sir Albedo–"
"Hmm, I don't recall having 'Sir' in my birth certificate–"
"Albedo! Albedo!" Geez.
He gave a small smile, longer this time. But he was still avoiding eye contact. You puffed your cheeks, embarrassed.
Prof. Albedo has a slightly twisted sense of humor.
None of this was professional, at all.
You felt your face growing warmer. You can't believe this is the same Albedo everyone is crushing on. 
You bit back a sharp retort. He sounded a lot more serious in campus gossip, and not the type to pull on your heartstrings like this. Your faith in that image is wearing thin.
The professor laughed. "I'm sorry. I wasn't expecting such an enthusiastic reply. You don't have to be nervous around me, (Y/n). I figured that if we were going to do this, you could use my first name.
"I refrained from answering. But, if you wish, I can confirm her suspicions. However, I must inform you in advance that I find relationships rather... Tiresome." Albedo robotically sighed. "I struggle to maintain them, so you will have to guide me."
Never in your life have you ever considered the possibility that a professor in your grad school would ask you to fake a romantic relationship with him. 
You digressed, not wanting to make a decision just yet. "But isn't your job in danger?"
Albedo then spoke in a genuine trill of amusement. 
"Not at all. Besides, I don't care enough to file a complaint about this incident. Also, you're not my student. Suffice it to say, I've thoroughly checked the handbook and consulted the headmaster herself. Rhinedottir sees no problem with this arrangement–"
Probably because she's your mother.
"–Granted, it will not be in full effect unless you give this a go signal. Will you?"
You looked away.
"This situation... Kinda reads like some cheap Harlequin novel, doesn't it?" You muttered.
It's a great offer. But it sounds too good to be true...
... Did he say that he wasn't going to file a complaint in the first place?
The professor watched as your impassive stare morphed into something uneven and sly but unavoidably empty. You clicked your tongue as your hands slip back to your pockets. Albedo could tell you're holding back an ugly laugh.
A switch had been flipped.
Professor Albedo immediately noticed the change in your demeanor and crossed his arms. He's anticipated this much. There's no way he didn't know about your "self-destructive patterns."
How interesting. For both you AND him.
"So, Albedo." You lazily pointed at him. "Something's fishy about this, don't you think?"
"You're too eager to help. I'd get it if you have something to gain from this, like scaring off your fangirls or something, but you fend them off just fine anyways." You grinned.
"I'm flattered that you think I send them away effortlessly." He answered point-blank.
Albedo turned to you, his face dim and heavily affected by his calm resignation.
"It's incredibly taxing work. I've told you before, haven't I? I may seem calm on the surface but people can be... A considerable handful."
His smile belied the severity of his inner turmoil.
But you can't help but doubt him. You don't buy his pitifulness.
You reassessed the situation in an instant. The Albedo you're talking to acts far from the untouchable Chalk Prince from the get-go. His words did not boast his usual research-riddled speech. This act is more than just premeditated.
Sure. You're the sort who is bound by what you "owe," but you can't say you can't empathize with his problems because he didn't seem-- he ISN'T troubled in the first place. And you're almost sure of it.
You believe you're not smart enough to remain in this university. But at least you have faith that you're perceptive and street-wise. 
Still, you kept your hollow cheeky grin plastered to your face.
"Then why aren't you taking a less problematic approach? You could say you're dating Professor Alberich– you'd get some people off your back."
Translation: Can't you just bother someone else?
"By attracting other unpleasant folks pestering me about Kaeya instead, yes, seems like a sound suggestion. I'll keep it in mind for future reference."
Translator's note: He's being sarcastic. Stop trying to worm your way out of this one.
Albedo continued. "But right now that's not viable. If you feel guilty for stealing a kiss from me this may be a good opportunity to ease your conscience."
...
"That's it? But you won't report me if I didn't agree to these terms, right?"
"Of course. I have your best interests in mind and simply warned you." He gave you a faint smile, hoping to ease your nerves. "You're part of Rukkha's batch of dean's listers. I don't have the heart to file a complaint."
Rukkha was a great woman, but you don't deserve your scholarships and sponsors. You don't have any talent or skill to truly impress people, and it seems you fooled both Professor Rukkhadevata and Albedo into thinking you're something special as well.
"Professor...."
But with what he basically said just now is that there are no consequences for your actions.
"It's Albedo, and yes?"
"You seem to have reserved some very unrealistic expectations for me. You should be more distrusting."
"... What do you mean?"
"I don't see any reason to accept your offer." You honestly had no idea where this confidence is coming from. Perhaps your class clown persona had slowly rubbed off on the "real" you, and for once you didn't hate yourself for it.
Because you don't want to be in this relationship. It's legal, yes, and you're old enough, but you're incredibly wary. Albedo may be leagues better than Itto but that's beside the point: you're emotionally spent and you're not ready to get to know another person.
"Oh, understood. For starters, agreeing to these terms will make Sucrose less abrasive with her attempts to set you up, and I could help you with connections."
"That sounds as though I'll be abusing your influence..."
You paused. 
Did you tell the professor about Sucrose's disturbing attempts to hook you up with people earlier...?
You don't recall ever sharing that bit of information. You made sure to pick your words carefully so Sucrose wouldn't be seen in a bad light. Since when did he...
"What? No, it's not. It's simply a small trade for your cooperation."
"No."
"And– sorry?"
You can see the appeal. You truly do. When you are chosen by someone of greater influence and intellect, it seems almost magical. He could undoubtedly help your botany profession thrive. Most people would conclude that if Professor Albedo chose them from the crowd, they must be extremely unique in comparison to their peers. 
However, this is somewhat unethical. This is the kind of scenario you'd find in a shoddy coming-of-age novel that desperately tries to convince you that there are no other elements to consider but love. However, you must also consider your mental health, reputation, education, and other factors that influence every fiber of your being.
Albedo isn't the type of person who would jeopardize your future over a minor disagreement, but you never know with people. People change as much as seasons do. You are a living example of this. Itto would not have used that argument against you if it were untrue.
You have nothing against those who engage in lawful student-teacher relationships, but you're self-aware enough to recognize that you're not mentally fit to enter one. And sometimes the conclusion is as straightforward as that. Besides, you're sick of having others (including yourself) continually doubting your intelligence. Fake-dating a professor will only exacerbate the situation. Rumors will spread that you only earned your grades because of him and not out of your efforts. Dorian already had it rough, and you've learned what it's like through him. Simple self-preservation.
"Thanks for the offer, really, but no. If I'll date someone, even if it's fake, I want to set it under my terms as well." 
You scratched your neck, eyes lifeless.
"I'm sorry, Professor. But I genuinely can't see why this agreement will help both of us, I especially can't see why this will benefit you compared to your other options. I could just come out and say I mistook you for Dorian and it's an easy fix to my problems and in turn, you wouldn't have to deal with the stigma of dating a student. I'm sorry, Prof. I'll take a rain check on it." 
You shrugged uncomfortably. "Besides, this is still a student-teacher relationship. I'm uncomfortable being in an uneven power dynamic like that. I'd rather date Dorian instead."
...
Shit. 
Okay, maybe accidentally implying that you're open to dating his kid brother had to be the second most uncomfortable thing you subjected Albedo to.
You didn't mean to come off as THAT honest.
A test tube must've cracked somewhere around the area cause you could've sworn you heard something shatter. You flinched, but he didn't.
"... Is that so." The professor muttered. You almost didn't hear him from how silent his defeat was.
You sighed in relief so intense that you physically felt your shoulder muscles relax and your eyes roll back. Seems like he gave up.
"I promise that I'll pay you back in other ways, professor. I owe you and I'm sorry. But I must refuse for both our sakes." You said. "I have taken something important from you, and I will respectfully understand if you file a complaint for what I've done. No one should have a kiss stolen like that."
He didn't reply. Albedo stood there, eyes unblinking as he mulled over your words. At the beginning of this conversation, he barely looked you directly in the eye, but now he refused to look away. 
You waited for him to say something else and stood there for a solid minute. Nothing came. 
"Please, excuse me."
You wanted to say that you left to give him more time to consider but the truth is that you couldn't bare standing there for a second more so you left in a frantic hurry. 
It was only when you left did you realize what made you wary of him the entire conversation.
Professor Albedo wasn't breathing the entire time.
-------
Upon unlocking his door, Albedo was greeted by a boy with a face akin to his. He was waiting for him, and in turn, Albedo anticipated that he would be here, too. The boy sat idly and almost casually inside a room littered with wall to wall of red-stringed photographs and texts, and there was not a single hint of disgust or any other natural reaction on his face. Albedo's nose scrunched.
Dorian did not budge from his brother– master's office chair. He stared back with a blank expression. Most papers were by his feet, crumpled, but not discarded. How could they be, when all pictures centered around one very precious subject:
You.
You, in all forms, poses, and angles make you ineffably you. These are the candid shots that bring out the little moments that Albedo longed to study under a microscope. They didn't need to be dynamic, rather, Albedo adored the simplest pictures the most. Needless to say, images of you resting is the most popular. It's a lot more convenient and easy to take, but that doesn't cheapen the value and elation the professor feels upon holding the finished polaroid up close.
Every time he swapped schedules with Dorian, he couldn't help but be curious about you.
It doesn't stop there. Albedo clicked his tongue as he noticed the journal Dorian held. It was his dog-eared notes he cleanly put together when jotting down your schedule, private life, and other more delicate intricacies. The clipboard he had earlier is nothing more than a silly prop compared to his actual notes. There's something so breathtaking about making the "unknown" into the "known", and the same applies to every bit of your life that he was curious about. Albedo's aware that it's not something he should brag about. Retrieving paraphernalia such as worn-out gardening gloves and locks of hair from your shower drain was not something he acquired robotically. However, he didn't fancy the idea that Dorian read it and found it just as entertaining as he did. He didn't like the idea of sharing.
Maybe you were right.
Maybe he did reserve some very unrealistic and idolized expectations for you. But that was only because he can see your potential. He firmly believes that. It's an awful and objectifying train of thought, but the professor is convinced he'll be the one who can "fix" your people-pleasing issue.
He figured, if he wants to make sure you'd always be with him, he had to conduct some trial-and-error.
Albedo breathed harshly. He forgot how to do so. He never needed to breath.
"Did it work?" Dorian asked. "Did your plan work?"
His eyes went dim.
Albedo didn't answer.
He locked the door again. This time, he allowed Dorian to keep the lights on. If anything, it's a small reward for indirectly helping him. But not even his fellow creation can have what the genius professor of the century desires to attain. He has to face the truth.
Albedo pulled out a recording device from his pocket. You said no. There's nothing he could do about that. 
"No."
"No. No. No. No. No--"
He played your refusal over and over again.
He thought he did everything right. He genuinely believed he followed the right procedure in getting you to say yes. What went wrong, then? Albedo doesn't get it. He was sure that he didn't say anything wrong or suspicious as well. You shouldn't have known that he had been following you from that conversation alone. 
"No."
He practiced everything for hours.
"No."
Word for word.
"No."
He researched tips and tricks on how to let other people's guard down.
"No."
He thought not pressuring you to do it will make you more willing.
"No."
He even asked Alberich how to subtly flirt with someone.
"No."
So. What went wrong?
"No--"
Albedo slowly blinked before realizing he had thrown the device against the wall in full force. The batteries and their other internal components spilled on the floor. He didn't have the willpower to clean it up. 
It's an undeniable error. He still can't believe his approach failed.
Master was right.
"Dearest Albedo, if you can't have them in their most authentic self, then what's stopping you from making an indistinguishable copy?"
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loserdiaz · 7 months
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tagged by the lovelies @forthewolves @wikiangela @ladydorian05 @wildlife4life @devirnis
uhhh this is from 'til my heart retires fic and i mighttt post tonight. maybeeee.
"And now here I am." Buck laughs, sharp and bitter and self-deprecating. "I'm almost fifty and I have nothing to show for it, except a messy divorce to a woman I didn't really love and a baggage of regrets dragging behind me."
"Buck, I love you."
"W-what?"
"I've been in love with you for years. Even when you pushed away, and I tried to move on and forget you— I couldn't. Every person I dated had something wrong, like— They weren't tall enough, or their eyes weren't the right shade of blue or they didn't treat Christopher like you would treat him, or just—" Eddie lets out a wet chuckle. "I love you in the most pathetic, human, desperate way possible. And I don't think I could ever stop."
"Eddie." Buck chokes out, his voice full of awe and disbelief. He is dreaming, right? He must be dreaming.
"Evan, I will love you until my heart retires. Until my lungs give out and until I'm nothing but a bag of bones buried six feet underground, and even then— I'd still find a way to keep loving you."
There's a beat of silence, and then.
"Damn, Diaz. All these years and you turned into a poet?" Buck tries to joke, but it sounds strained and a little pitchy.
Eddie huffs out a laugh and shakes his head, exasperated and fond. "What can I say, Buckley? You bring it out of me."
tagging (no pressure): @monsterrae1 @buddierights @cowboy-buddie @cowboy-buck @rogerzsteven @prettyboybuckley @hippolotamus @giddyupbuck @the-likesofus @spotsandsocks @elvensorceress @spaceprincessem @messyhairdiaz @thewolvesof1998 @jeeyuns @honestlydarkprincess @housewifebuck @911onabc @911-on-abc @athenagranted @diazblunt @bigfootsmom @alyxmastershipper @disasterbuckdiaz @heartshapedvows @transbuck @exhuastedpigeon @eddiediaztho and anyone else who wants to do it <33
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t00thpasteface · 5 months
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hey sorry i’m sure it’s a little dumb but how did you find a community/make mutuals on here? i swapped from twitter to here last year & haven’t been able to make friends like i did on twitter ;v; sorry if this is all silly but figured it couldn’t hurt to ask. love your art & blog !!!
as i like to say, it's like lifting an anvil: it's very simple, but that doesn't mean it's easy. as someone who's a 12+ year veteran that lurked for a couple years and remade a little while ago, really it all comes down to putting yourself out there!!! don't just sit around twiddling your thumbs and lurking. it's tough to do it without coming off as a pandering tryhard, but honestly as long as you're polite, upbeat, and posting regularly, then you're golden.
if you want a big list of wordy bullet points, here's what i've got, and i think you'll find it's pretty applicable to basically any site/community you want to get involved in:
post a lot. this is number one with a fucking bullet! POST! POST LIKE YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT. but crucially...
post GOOD STUFF. don't bash yourself in the caption/tags, don't say "sorry this is shit" or whatever, don't self-deprecate, and don't admit to posting low-effort stuff just to hit a quota. imagine it's open mic night and go crazy. this is a good site to use like a journal and a scrapbook, but if you want to actually get some traction, you need to bring something interesting to the table. of course, just being funny and nice goes a very long way.
encourage audience feedback. people LOVE to tell you about themselves and give their opinions. get them responding and make the questions and calls for engagement so interesting or fun they can't help themselves.
tag effectively. use both fandom/content tags for searches, and organizational tags for your visitors' use. the tagging system is tumblr's bread and butter, so make it work for you.
follow a lot of blogs you like. then see who they follow, and add those to the list. build a good circle of engagement and keep your finger on the pulse of the site culture for whatever niche(s) you're in... or want to get in.
reblog a lot and be funny/kind in the tags. generally leaving a lot of comments/replies to post is kind of hit-or-miss, but tags are a good harmless "inside voice" to use that doesn't clutter the post itself and yet still engages with op and people seeing the post
engage with people when they ask for engagement. things like polls, ask games, etc... scratch people's backs and they'll scratch yours. and it's just a nice thing to do regardless :)
panhandling is not always the best route. people will balk if you look desperate or openly beg for engagement, like directly asking people to reblog something or being passive-aggressive about how much engagement you are/aren't getting on something. a genuine joke about it is fun and relatable, but snarky comments just kill the vibe and scare people off.
REMEMBER THERE'S NO ALGORITHM. lurking will not put you or any of the stuff you like out there!! REBLOG POSTS! SEND ASKS! this site will NOT SPOON FEED YOU ANYTHING. like taming a wild stallion, you can make this work for you, but you have to put in the effort first.
some people will think you're annoying, and that's okay. probably not very many, but they'll be loud. this is an unavoidable part of Being Known. you can be the sweetest peach in the world but there'll still be people who just don't like peaches. don't take it to heart, and if you do happen to drop the ball or rub a few people the wrong way, don't let that keep you from trying again :)
i've enjoyed the many friends i've made on this site in the past decade-and-then-some, even though both this site and my blog are both something of a ship of theseus. here's hoping you can make it work for you and your interests, too!
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phospadparadscha · 4 months
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Is fusing considered vaguely intimate in the AU? Harry having fused a bunch and Black Opal being Kim's first fusion kind of mirrors Ruby and Sapphire, and the idea that Kim gets a bit bashful or embarrassed about it in front of other people is kinda funny to me.
I'd like to think that because of the general lack of intimacy in Disco Elysium and Martinaise (people seem to almost never hug or kiss each other / engage in pda and the hug with the working class woman is treated as a very rare interaction), fusion can be intimate for some or at least somewhat taboo. Not necessarily frowned upon by the people of Martinaise but moreso uncomfortable and surprising. I guess it would be less that people are surprised that there's a fusion and more that anybody likes another person in Martinaise or Revachol enough to want to fuse out of anything but utilitarian purposes. All of Martinaise is touch starved and its pretty unusual for that to be proven wrong by anyone. Fusion is definitely frowned upon by the Moralintern and generally by the RCM as a complex, but is still done nonetheless (within C Wing however fusion is less frowned upon). The RCM is based on a partner system after all. Its bound to be that the partners fuse for combat or even recreationally but in the police they are expected to unfuse after their mission is accomplished. I think of how the RCM officers are so limited in their firearms and ammunition and I think fusion is treated like a weapon that needs to be monitored and controlled. Permafusions are incredibly uncommon, though they are more common amongst communist circles and the underground (as a commie pansexual myself I think I speak from the heart). More of my ideas and reasoning under the read more!
I think Harry and Jean could have experimented before with fusing on their good days. Or alternatively, they could have rushed to fuse in a stressful situation or to apprehend a suspect. However, its risky to do so because when a fusion poofs, all gems that make up a fusion poof at the same time. Its seen as a last resort on the field.
It's possible that Jean could have fused with Harry when he poofed, since Harry's RCM cloak has some bullet holes implying he was shot / poofed before in the line of duty, to draw him forcibly out of his gem after unfusing. Like in the Change Your Mind finale of the show where to reform the crystal gems quickly Steven fuses with their gems, and they reform after they unfuse. In Harry's case forcing him out of his gem before he's ready to reform could be what contributed to his damaged psyche and unhealthy view towards fusing, as gems need to recuperate while poofed which is why it takes them so long to reform. The less time a gem takes to reform the more unstable their form and abilities are and Harry would definitely have experienced the consequences of never taking care of himself when he's down since Jean or someone else would force him right back into the ring again.
I think that Jean and Harry's fusion would be a fairly volatile and negative being, prone to humorless self deprecation. A bit like Smoky Quartz is prone to self deprecating jokes in Steven Universe, but here its genuinely toxic. Their fusion usually brings out the worst of them both. I don't think they're Malachite levels of unstable and toxic, but that their morbid humor and combined depression can have poor results. However its not all negative with them as when Jean and Harry are able to synchronize enough to maintain their fusion, the brotherly camaraderie is able to shine through and they cheer each other on with more confidence. I'm not sure how different the fusion would be before and after Harry's retrograde amnesia, but I have some general ideas I'll share at a later time.
I definitely think Kim would be most likely to unfuse first with Harry, less because he doesn't enjoy fusion (he really, really does), but more so that he is more anxious to be caught by surprise or to stand out, which is kind of what fusions do lol. In Martinaise people may not care so much as its a place largely abandoned by any kind of real repercussions, but he still has a reputation he cares about more than Harry does. And Harry has a somewhat unhealthy view of fusion, where its something that is becoming a better person than he thinks he is and disappearing into another person, rather than a mutual dance or union of partners. So this leads to Kim being hesitant to fuse with Harry unless he is able to convince him that their fusion isn't an excuse to disappear into a better half but to instead become someone that represents the joy they both share with each other, as equals.
And yes, Kim is bashful to be a fusion and it is his first time fusing. He may have wanted to fuse with Eyes in the past but never did and regrets not fusing. He thinks its crazy that anyone would ever want to fuse with him. But over time Harry and Kim fuse more often and it starts to represent their love for each other.
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Watched Midnight Scrum during my break and now I'm catching Midnight Scrum feelings.
Like... I've never noticed the sweet, sweet poetry of Hiccup noticing how angry his father got upon rescuing him.
In Riders and Defenders of Berk, you get Hiccup commenting on Stoick's anger a couple of times. But I think the most important one I want to bring up is the comment he makes in RoB's 'Animal House,' when Stoick tells Ruff and Tuff to get Hiccup for him.
Tuffnut: Hey Hiccup! Your father's looking for you. Ruffnut: He looked angry. Hiccup: He's looked angry since the day I was born. But I'm sure there's no connection.
Riders of Berk still takes place not too long after Httyd 1, when Hiccup was both the runt and the local embarrassment. When every attempt to try and gain favor was met with scrutiny, ridicule, and his father's ire.
Stoick even told the able-bodied men and women of his village to choose between sailing to the nest of dragons with him and potentially meet an untimely demise or spent that entire time watching over Hiccup. Everybody in that Thing chose the former.
So when Hiccup makes comments like the one mentioned above, you know where it's coming from.
And then RttE season 4 comes along with 'Midnight Scrum.' The episode in which it turns out Viggo placed a bounty on Hiccup's head and his father (and the rest of the Dragon Riders) has to race to get him back before he's delivered to Viggo. After getting him back, this is what Hiccup tells his dad:
"You know, I don't think I've ever seen you that mad, and that's saying something."
This line, if you remember the way Hiccup had to grow up- always trying so hard to gain acceptance and getting hardly any of it until he defeats the Red Death with Toothless- and making self-deprecating jokes about how his father's "constant" bad mood is somehow connected to his being born... That Hiccup sees his father as angry as he was in this episode for his son, because he was being hurt, because he's been taken... Well, I think this is another something that's come full circle in this franchise.
Hiccup finally sees just how much Stoick loves his son. And I think the next thing Hiccup says backs that up.
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It's worth it to remember that Hiccup comes back to Berk earlier in this episode, expecting retribution for a mistake he's made. One of such proportions he hasn't made since Httyd 1. Stoick reminds Gobber of that before Hiccup even arrives and just the very sight of the young man still makes his blood boil. After all, Hiccup didn't just destroy a piece of the village this time, he lost their gold. They're livelihoods, their means of getting supplies and keeping everyone fed and healthy.
Hiccup even comes to stand before his father like a kicked puppy with Toothless cowering behind him. He's made his father angry again, he's disappointed him. Pulled a stunt like the ones he used to pull back when he was 15 and younger.
Except then the rest of the episode happens and Stoick's anger isn't because didn't tell him about the bounty and got into trouble again. It's because his son has been taken and could be hurt or worse.
Hiccup reunites with Stoick, they have their interaction and Hiccup makes the realization that he is, after all, Stoick's son.
Of course, Hiccup knows his father loves him. He raised him, it showed in how overprotective he was, it showed in how Stoick changed for him. However, this is the first time Hiccup associates Stoick's anger with love for his son as well.
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Hiccup's face in those two screencaps says it all, basically. It's the face of a son who sees his father in a whole new light.
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