#emotional sobriety

[sunshinel3mon]

Embracing Emotional Sobriety: Navigating the Complex Terrain

Unveiling the Heart of Connection: Codependency and Its Threads Codependency Defined In the intricate dance of human relationships, codependency emerges as a subtle force, weaving its threads through the fabric of connection. Vicki Botnick, a marriage and family therapist, paints a poignant picture, describing codependency as the act of losing oneself in the enmeshed embrace of another. “In…

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#boundaries #codependency #emotional sobriety #health #relationships #science #self care

[3jane-rosen]

Relapse

It doesn't matter how long in between each time because every time is like the first time all over again.

And you were in my arms, again.

How long before I forget your kiss?

#poetry #poem #poems #addiction recovery #sobriety #addiction #emotional sobriety #relapse #personal

[theawakenedalcoholic]

"Self-Seeking Will Slip Away"

“Self-Seeking Will Slip Away”

Okay, I’m not there yet. Coming up on 11 months sober and sometimes I feel more focused on myself now than I was in active addiction. But honestly, I don’t think that’s true. I think I’m just aware of it now. When I was drinking I was nothing but selfish, all the time. All that mattered was when and where my next drink would be. If I couldn’t have a drink, it was drugs. It was all about finding…

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#addiction #addiction recovery #alcohol free #alcoholics anonymous #alcoholism #emotional sobriety #it works if you work it #progress over perfection #recovery #sober #sober living #sobriety

[emotional-recovery]

I've been working on my steps for 5 months, and fucked up real bad, let myself get angry and it happened again. I fucked up, was mean and spiteful in that way I can be. This ain't who I wanna be, not by a long shot.

The great thing about hating yourself is that you're never very far from being able to confirm it yet again.

I know it's a long way to go, but do I have to be saddled with this bitch the whole way? Every time I turn around, she's there. And she's me.

#emotions anonymous #12 step #emotional sobriety #grief

[lousydrawingsforgoodpeople]

#pause! #redraw #no permanent decisions #based on temporary emotions #sobriety quotes #doodles #bad art #lousy drawings #doodle #positivity #self love #healing #recovery #emotional regulation

[kintsukuroi-babes]

BABIGRLISNUMB new account❤️‍🩹

my old tumblr of like 5 years was deleted, I’m very sad it’s gone but what can I do. That blog documented all of my intense moments, rants, traumatic events, how my sobriety was going, feelings. It was my safe space to rant and share things that were eating away at me that I felt like I couldn’t tell anyone in my life.

This is my new tumblr, this one is going to be the same as the last but imma try n not get this one deleted. Im still trying to find my old friends on here it’s been a struggle but I also would love some new ones too❤️‍🩹💋🫶

#babigrl #babigrlisnumb #account got deleted #new account #emotions #digital diary #sad #sad thoughts #drug abuse #crazy #mentally unstable #depressed girly #love #bpd rant #cute #recovery #drugs #self harm #self love #impulsively #drvg blog #sobriety #tumblr girls

[joyridingmp3]

sister getting operated on. as I type this

#if they give her too much anaesthetic again I'm going to LOSE IT ON THEM #my mum hugged me yesterday too which. is hard not to have playing on my mind. felt gross and weird #client [redacted redacted] and another client also [redacted] #and another support coordinator also did some really vengeful vindictive things in relation to a client #and it's just. been suuuuch a week honestly #I'm trying to stay sober so I can like. Feel emotions for the mcr show #but fuuuck I hate sobriety this is so shit!!! #mine #2023

[free-grandmaa]

I cry this hard rather I'm a drunken sea

Or a sober newborn

#sober #sobriety #pain #hurt #poem #poet #poetry #saddness #emotions #feelings #heartache #writers on tumblr #original poem #writer and poets #freegrandmaa

[postvampirism]

Yesterday I was looking thru old selfies and i was sad about how doing hard drugs made me look like i aged 5 years right. And now i find out this guy i met at a meeting has been asking about me and is currently sending me cute animal photos so. If I am nice looking by sober people standards that's all that matters since im not planning on dating a normie ever again anyway :3c and also it is ok to look like ive aged drugs or not!

#he is cute but i want to wait till i have more sober time to start dating #i need to work on emotional sobriety yknow #drugs

[joejoescircusworld]

The Sopranos Season 5, Episode 10: Cold Cuts #michael imperioli

#michael imperioli #the sopranos #new jersey #sobriety #emotion #emotional #emo #sad #teardrop #tears #Italian #gtl #neo noir #aesthetic

[asphodelpoetry]

in another life

maybe it could mean something

the cataclysmic joining of thought and action

a single date seared into my skin

burning hole of shame;

old bandage of sobriety overlaid my bleeding heart

#algaelove #one year sober !!!! #or clean #idk the difference !! #for those celebrating the big and small victories #poetry #poets corner #poetblr #poetscommunity #my poetry #poets on tumblr #original poem #poem on sobriety #kind of a weirder emotional poem #i just kinda wrote it

[faofinn]

DAY 23: "you'll have to go through me"

@febuwhump

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Harrison had promised Tai he'd meet him after work, but he'd just not shown up. With the pair of them working, and Steve not, he'd picked the boys up from school so they were all sorted.

Tai bed sat in the car park for half an hour before heading over, concerned by his partners lack of replies. They’d changed over, Fao was still waiting for a bed on the ward, and Harrison was nowhere to be found. He'd apparently left a while ago, on time for once, and hadn't spoken to anyone. Tai gave Fao a crappy excuse about crossed wires, and rushed off, his heart pounding in his chest.

The house was dark when Tai finally skidded onto the drive, blinds still drawn. Harrison's car was still on the driveway, so he hadn’t gone far - Tai doubted he would have walked far after his shift; he always struggled after his block and he'd had a few pressure areas flaring recently, blamed on his massive fluctuations in weight.

Tai pushed the front door open, frowning as it swung without the key in. He'd been the last to leave and it had definitely been locked then. The smell of alcohol was so clear in the air, and Tais' heart almost stopped. Hars had been sober for years, he'd had his transplant, knew the risks. Knew how to reach out for help.

“Hars? Love? you home?” He called, flicking the lights on. There was the unmistakable sound of bottles clinking from the living room, a harsh sob following. Tai found himself swallowing past a sudden lump in his throat, dreading what he'd find as he pushed the door.

Harrison was on the floor, in the middle of the room, surrounded by bottles and cans. One of the bottles had smashed, apparently thrown against the wall. Glass littered the floor, but Harrison didn’t even seem to notice. He kept his gaze fixed on them, knuckles white as he clenched his fists on his jeans.

“Hars?” Tai hesitated, before slowly making his way to his partner, crouching by him. At least two of the bottles were opened, and a few of the cans, too. Tai sighed. They didn't need this.

Harrison slowly turned to Tai, tear tracks down his cheeks and eyes red. “Tai.”

He launched himself at Tai, curling tightly into his chest. For all the alcohol around, Tai couldn’t smell any on Harrison, and there was none on his breath. There was a small flicker of hope.

“It’s okay.” Tai said gently. “I’m here.”

Harrison couldn't breathe through the sobs, gripping tighter onto Tai. "I'm sorry."

“It’s alright.” He soothed. “Bad day, huh?”

"I didn't, I promise I didn't." He sobbed, his words catching in his throat. 

“It’s okay. Shall I get rid of it?”

"No." He said quickly, desperation hidden in his tone. 

“It’s not helping you feel any better being sat here staring at it.”

"I need it."

“You don’t need it.”

"I do."

“It’s not going to help, love.” Tai told him. 

"It will."

“It’s okay, it’s gonna be okay.”

"I can't keep doing this."

“Shh, it’s alright.” Tai murmured, kissing the top of his head. “We’ll get through this.”

"I just wanted a break."

“I know.” 

"I didn't take a drink."

“Well done. Honestly. Why don’t we throw it out, though?”

"What if I need it?"

“You don’t need it.”

"Might do."

“You don’t, love.”

"It would stop the pain." He said quietly. "I don't want to feel it anymore."

“You’d never forgive yourself.” Tai said. “I know it’s hard. It’s gonna be okay. I’ll get Steve to have the kids, and we’ll go to bed and get some rest.”

"I don't want to wake up." He murmured under his breath, sagging against Tai.

It broke Tai’s heart to hear him say that. “I know. But I want you to wake up. You’ll get through this.”

"It just hurts."

“I know it hurts. It’s horrible, you’ve had a shit day.”

"I just want to die." He admitted, pulling back to look at Tai. 

"Not a chance." He tried to joke. "You'll have to go through me to try that, and Steve, even Fao. The lot of us. Tomorrow will be better, we'll get through this."

"Can we go to bed?"

“Yeah. Come on, let me help you up.”

He gritted his teeth as he stood, holding heavily onto Tai. "Fuck."

“It’s okay. I’ve got you, lean on me.”

"I can't."

“It’s okay. Let me do the hard work.”

"No, I can’t. It hurts."

“I know, it won’t be long.”

"I just want it off. And a drink."

“We’ll get it off in a minute.” Tai promised. “Just get to the bedroom.”

Tai's lack of comment about the alcohol hadn't gone unnoticed, and he sighed. "Alright."

“Have you hurt yourself at all?” He asked. “One of the bottles was smashed.”

"I don't think so."

“Good.” He led him upstairs and into their bedroom. “Let’s get you into bed, then.”

With Tai's help, they got themselves sorted for bed, changed and into pyjamas and medications done. Hars took his morphine in the end too, hoping to have some relief. While Tai sat on his phone for a little while, he curled against his chest, needing the comfort. Tai's fingers were gentle in his hair, soothing him and just calming him down. Safe in his arms, he finally fell asleep. 

#febuwhump2023 #febuwhumpday23 #“you'll have to go through me” #whump writing #whump prompt #tw alcoholism #sobriety #hars has a very bad day #tw sucidal ideation #hars x tai #harrison cunningham #taidgh cole #whump #oc #emotional whump #ptsd #depression #alcohol dependency

[kratomkittycat]

This is becoming a big issue…

Last night, I took kratom extract again. 2/3 of an MIT 45 bottle plus a MIT Go Black Extra Strength packet.

It was late at night, around the time my family goes to bed. I was at home. What I felt in the moments leading up to me taking it was an intense emotional feeling of just craving the way kratom extract makes me feel. It was a powerful urge that shut down any logical thinking. I could feel sensations in parts of my body just thinking about not having the extract. So I just took it.

I don’t wanna keep doing this. But if I don’t do something drastic now, this will not stop. I already used 3 times since the stressful thing happened on Friday. It’s becoming a big issue that could cost me my job.

But who knows. Kratom is legal right? It shouldn’t show up on a drug test, even Kratom Girl on Instagram said to me that she never had any issues with the test… so I might as well just let myself have it and not put myself through this… right???

But what if I’m wrong? What if I’m one of the unlucky ones who gets a false positive for opioids? It sounds impossible, but it’s happened to people. Do I really want to take that chance?

If I am one of the unlucky ones, I will lose my job. The lab tech job with big pharma that pays $29 an hour. I will never find another job like that again, and I’ll have to start all over just to find… something. It could take months. Not to mention the absolute shit storm my parents will throw when they find out I lost the job. They will know I’ve been lying and using again. I wouldn’t even be surprised if they wanted to kick me out.

If I stay clean for the next 3 weeks until I know for sure this is all over, it will be painful and very emotional. I will be dragging through, surviving each day. The cravings will be so strong that it hurts.

But all that will at least give me a CHANCE of keeping this job. Just a chance. And once the drug test is over and I get my paycheck… well… there will be plenty of kratom extract and Red Dawn shots to go around. My options will really open up. But that won’t happen if I give into instant gratification.

Last year when I was sick with gastritis, I was sober for several months and couldn’t even drink COFFEE. If I could get through that, I know I can get through the next 3 weeks.

So because of all this, I will be making a hard decision. When my mom gets home at 3:30 this afternoon, I will be giving her all of the kratom extract I have left, and all of my Red Dawn shots. As long as she agrees on a date to give them back.

Honestly, I don’t want to have to do this! Especially since another major stressful event could happen and there will be no escape. But I need to remember that it’s only for 3 weeks. And if I REALLY want this job, I don’t have a choice but to get rid of all the drugs. Because let’s be real- if they’re there, I WILL take them.

There will be a lot of terrible feelings that will come with this, but a short period of feeling awful is worth it in the long run. I just have to remember the REASONS why it will be worth it.

And hopefully I can learn other ways to manage these feelings.

#special interest #kratom extract #kratom #getting high #high #infodump #info dump #drug blog #sober living #sobriety #drug test #i just relapsed #drug relapse #craving #lab technician #drug problem #dependence #emotional #emotional dependency #psychological dependence #recovery

[let-go-the-hungry-ghost]

Brené Brown | On Trust, a Gift of Sobriety, & the Practices of Braving

Excerpts from Atlas of the Heart

#brene brown #Atlas of the Heart #Books #Courage #Trust #Self Trust #Emotional Intelligence #Grit #Psychology #Recovery #Sobriety #Mental Health #Self Awareness #Excerpts #Braving #Vulnerability