#hard to not feel like your work is not only pointless but also kinda harmful

[rawliverandgoronspice]

Nah, your mention of the teacup scene was honestly perfect, because, just like P-Z it just feels so weird, and just kinda pointless/disjointed. Heckers, even the people I know who LIKE the story of totk, did not seem to like the teacup scene. Also, if I can throw in: It felt like a scene that, in its idea, should have been in the DLC. Maybe actually focus on just Sonia and Rauru as people, instead of the weird "talking around the bush, your powers don't work, Link, and the other piddly talk." Like in the botw DLC, the focus was more on a "slice of life" peek into the Champion's life. It's such a waste of main-story content, and literally established nothing new. Heck, I actually hate that scene because it's just such a lazy way for Rauru to find out who Link is, and then later tell Ganondorf about Link. Additionally, while we're talking about disappoint scenes/bad writing. Zelda's "I didn't remember anything from being a Dragon." It was such a bad cop-out, and it annoyed me to no end. They didn't need to mention it, leave it up to the player to interpret if Zelda remembers, and what she might have remembered or forgotten. The way it gets dropped is also like a hard rock. Riju: "So how was it?" Zelda: "Lol idk, don't remember." It's weird how you can put Botw-Zelda's sacrifice against Totk-Zelda's sacrifice, and Botw she just sacrificed a lot more, even though Totk really plays up the severity of the "Sacrificing yourself to become a dragon"-thing, only for it to just be the most overhyped McGuffin to get Zelda back into her time.

Hey, thanks for the follow-up!

Yeah, agreed. I have talked extensively about the dragon problem somewhere??? I'll try to find it. Here! Which is basically that even if I agree the dragon thing is super cool and powerful and visually jawdropping and emotionally something, it's... kind of not a lot of what it claims to be.

But in addition to that, you made me think of something else by having this comment; there are multiple times during voiced cutscenes specifically where lines are used (I say used because every voiced line costs *so much money* so producers will always beg you to keep them to a minimum) to reassure the player that nothing truly bad is happening.

The thing with Zelda telling you she doesn't remember her time as a dragon is a great example, but there are many more. The first time I actively noticed it was during the Sealing cutscene where Rauru dives in to put his hand in Ganondorf's uhh tender heart (and he steals his magic? I wish something was actually done with that it could have been great if Rauru was corrupting himself voluntarily or something), and there is a whole dialogue where Ganondorf goes "hahaha thousands of years will pass in the blink of an eye", which could be a way to just brush off Rauru's actions as negligeable, but could also be a way to minimize the toll of time taken on both of them the same way it did for Zelda, especially since they semi-turn to stone immediately after. There are a lot of dialogue bits that feel like they are here for damage control and reassure us that the nice things are nice and the bad things are bad (a lot of the gerudo Sage dialogue also reads like that to me as well).

But yes, in general, it is a game that is incredibly averse to consequences, which does a lot of harm to its narrative tension in my opinion.

#asks #tloz #totk critical #totk spoilers #ganondorf #zelda #when will my brain return from the imprisoning war... #just the fact that ganondorf being stopped by rauru is barely acknowledged by ganon also bugs me #like it doesn't change the energy of the scene at all #he goes wow cool you did that anyways see you all in a bit #and rauru then hypes up link like you will sooo die to death dude #and ganon is like interesting factoid ok goodnight #and I feel like ganondorf feeling angry about that at least a Little (like see him being semi-mad about it but trying to be smug) #(instead of being 100% just smug the same he was before) #would have helped with scene tension in my opinion #that is pretty flat right now (but that's a global problem there are very little emotional progressions happening) #thanks for the ask!

[neallo]

excerpt for an anon question, from an unpublished wip that i am not currently working on,

---

Mello keeps it a secret for almost six months. He thinks he should get credit for a longer time period, because he’s pretty sure he was keeping it a secret even from himself for about a year before that, but it’s admittedly less impressive to hide a crush that even you don't realize you have.

Like every single goddamn misfortune in his life, it’s all Near’s fault. Not just the crush, but also Mello’s ultimate failure to hide it from Matt.

His best friend figures it out when he goes to take their trash downstairs on the last Saturday of February, which he only does because Mello hassles him about it for like, an entire day. He kinda sucks as a roommate, even though he’s a good friend. As Matt is gathering Mello’s trash from beside his desk, though, he pauses and asks Mello—

“You want me to toss this?”

When Mello turns and sees what he’s holding, he freaks out. A little.

“No!” He blurts out way too forcefully.

Matt looks alarmed. “Oh, uh. Sorry. I just thought... it’s from Near, so I didn’t think you’d wanna hang onto it?”

Mello scrambles for an excuse. “It— I’m just keeping it to embarrass him with later,” he says in a rush.

Matt gives him a skeptical look. “Uh. I dunno how well that would work, ‘cause he gave the same Valentine to everyone.”

“He did not,” Mello insists heatedly. “Mine says dear Mello. Dear. Yours just says Matt.” He crosses his arms, triumphant, and suddenly remembers his excuse. “So— so it’s— embarrassing,” he finishes lamely.

The reasoning is pathetically flimsy and they both know it. Matt stares at Mello wide-eyed for a long, uncomfortable moment, dawning realization plain on his face.

“Mello,” Matt finally says, “do you... have a crush on Near?”

Mello laughs too-loud and too-long, sounding hysterical even to himself. “What? That’s crazy. You’re crazy.”

The denial is pointless, a futile attempt to try and retain some dignity though all is very obviously lost.

“Oh, Mells,” Matt says, expression stuck somewhere between pity and amusement.

Mello hates being pitied or mocked, and the rush of anger he feels towards Matt is better than the hot shame and panic that preceded it, so he lashes out. “Shut the fuck up. If you fucking tell anyone I’ll fucking kill you,” he seethes.

“Man,” Matt says, wrinkling his nose, seemingly unaffected by the outburst. “You sure make it hard to be nice to you.”

Mello groans and turns towards his bed, falling onto it face-first. It’s hard to stay mad at Matt when his best friend puts up with so much with so little complaint. Also, after the worst of the anxiety dissipates and he sort of despondently accepts that his secret is out, it’s kind of a relief. Mostly it’s still embarrassing, but Mello has been bottling his infatuation up for the better part of six months now, and maybe talking about it with Matt will help it feel less all-consuming.

After a few minutes of hiding his face in the mattress, he turns his head to the side and looks at Matt, who’s taken a seat on his own bed across from Mello’s. “I wish I was dead,” he says. “It’s horrible. He’s not even that cute.”

“Oh, don’t say that,” Matt says comfortingly. “He’s... kind of charming. In a small, frail way.”

“I guess,” Mello says, like he doesn’t constantly fantasize about protecting Near from harm and getting thanked with an unrealistically tongue-heavy kiss. “There’s something wrong with me. I can’t get past it.”

#meronia #mellonear #my writing #neallopost

[haleigh-sloth]

Hi, I’m someone who follows your blog but I’m shy so I’m on anon lol. I just kinda wanted to vent about how so many BNHA fans want Tomura to have a suicide redemption at the end of the show, or to apologize and then decay himself, or take a bullet for Izuku, etc. I’m struggling to interact with the fandom because it’s triggering for me as someone who had a similar childhood to Tenko in most ways. To me it also misses the point of his character and makes him out to be selfish at his core instead of, y’know, groomed from practical infancy. What are your thoughts on this and do you think this ending is likely? (Don’t answer if it’s triggering for you, I just wanted to ask since you’re the Shiggy guru ><)

Hi! Shiggy guru pls

No I do not think that ending is likely, I don’t think it’s even remotely possible.

I don’t see an ending where any of the redeemable villains die, otherwise the heroes are failures of their own convictions and arcs. This is especially true of Midoriya who, so far, is the only one who has actually outright used the s word—while Shouto and Ochacko haven’t been made to say it quite yet (maybe they won’t, since we’re supposed to understand through Midoriya what they’re wanting to do). Midoriya said “I want to save him”. In BNHA saving means you are safe, not only physically out of harm’s way, but heart and soul.

Look at the Sports Festival arc with his fight with Shouto—AM described Midoriya’s actions as saving Shouto. Look at Shouto wanting to save his mom by rekindling his relationship with her. Look at Mirio and Midoriya wanting to make Eri smile because “she hasn’t been truly saved” until she can smile again. Something that was brought back into play this recent chapter—worth noting. He’s still fighting for someone’s smile. Tomura is right there in front of him, internally crying out Midoriya’s name asking him to come save him. There isn’t a question as to whose smile we’re supposed to be thinking about.

Fighting for Tomura’s smile is ultimately pointless if he dies in the end—even if it’s his own doing by suicide.

Tomura isn’t suicidal, he keeps fighting so hard so he doesn’t get killed. So this doesn’t even make sense to begin with. We do have a canonically suicidal character in the mix and it’s Touya, and it’s not framed as a good thing. It’s something we’re seeing Shouto desperately trying to keep from happening.

Redemption by death is what so many people jump to because they’re lazy and don’t want to think hard about it or how it could work. It’s one of the laziest predictions I have ever seen for a manga that really isn’t that hard to follow on a thematic level. And also for some reason so many people are convinced it’s not possible—which is just stupid. This is why I’m convinced a large part of this fan base is not familiar with manga outside of BNHA, because of this weird adverse reaction to redemption (among other reasons lol). It’s so weird. I truly don’t get it honestly, but it’s not my job to change their minds. But I will be stalking the Reddit subthreads to watch the hilarious melt downs when people are faced with a fantasy Disney-esque ending.

I DO think Tomura will for sure do something to save Midoriya too, in a way. I mean, I expect them it work together, fight with each other, and with that worry about each other and probably pull stupid sacrificial moves out for each other’s sake. But think of the main character—his arc won’t allow for the person he just saved to die for his sake. The entire point of their storyline bringing them together is that they need each other, and one can’t just die and leave the other behind.

Chapter 378 was peak follow up on BNHA themes. There are only a few chapters I feel hit the mark so hard in showing what this manga is truly about. The main two that come to mind are 305 and 378, I’ll have to think of the others when I get home from work.

But yeah, because 378 is so foretelling about what’s to come, and we are very close to the climax of the manga, do expect more rancid takes to come out of the woodwork. I would block liberally and curate your space strictly so that you aren’t faced with upsetting discussions.

I can tell you that whatever you’re seeing is completely devoid of any deep thinking of the manga overall. I’d avoid those spaces.

I am really comfortable with the manga’s direction, Tomura’s arc, and the overall endgame that is set up. I’m really confident in a very, cheesy, happy ending, so I hope that helps!

#anonymous #bnha asks #boku no hero academia #shigaraki tomura #shimura tenko #Midoriya izuku #shigaraki and midoriya

[writtenvisionary]

Rooftop Riddles

Read on Ao3

WC: 5.1k

Summary: One riddle changes everything. Dramatic identity reveal, oneshot, ladynoir/adrienette | trigger warning - depression, self-harm, abuse/neglect

The breeze was nothing short of refreshing as she sat next to her partner in crime. He was silent for the time being, but she knew it was only a matter of time before he would start saying something stupid. So she took in her surroundings while there was still silence between them.

It was dark; street lights illuminated all of Paris. Shadows bounced from wall to wall as civilians took their nightly walks, either from work or just around the block to get some fresh, cool air before they go to sleep. There are also those pathetically trudging toward their place of employment for their overnight shifts, and Marinette felt for them. Being Ladybug was all too taxing on her, and she often felt like she worked 24 hours, but in reality it was just all of the extra exercise that made her so exhausted every day.

Looking over at Chat Noir, she takes in his appearance. His hunched back, drooped cat ears, slow breaths. He’s looking straight ahead, seemingly lost in his own train of thought. Her eyebrows furrow.

She opens her mouth to speak, but her partner beats her to it.

“Wanna hear a riddle?”

“Uh, sure.”

“Okay. What do you call a sad watermelon?”

Ladybug had to think. Biting her bottom lip, she pondered an answer.

“Um... I don’t know, what?”

“Melon-choly.”

A smile lit up her face.

“Oh!” She laughed.

“Here’s another. It’s kinda long, so get ready.”

She nods, shifting in her seat.

“A single father took care of his baby, and he was rich so the baby had a lot. Food, clothes, excessive stuff. What didn’tthe baby have?”

Marinette frowns, some weird feeling rushing through her veins. She sits up, narrowing her eyes at the boy clad in a black leather suit. He sits with his legs pulled up to his chest, looking straight forward. Not even a tiny upward lift of his lips, making her worry.

Something about the way he delivered that riddle was… ominous. It didn’t seem like he was disconnected from the story he was telling. It’s almost like he could relate.

She gulps.

“A mother?”

He nods, then hangs his head for a moment before pulling it back up and flashing an obviously fake smile in her direction.

“Bingo,” he says dryly.

Her frown deepens.

Why did that riddle sound like something personal? Is he rich?

That sounds like someone she knows. And the riddle boy’s mother was gone… that sounded like him too.

No, there’s no correlation. It’s just a random riddle.

“Alright, last one.”

“Okay,” she nods.

“I am twisted from what I was, to hold the weight of others. Yet tie a knot, and my use to this world is gone.”

Her heart plummets down into her stomach. She loses her breath and has to look back at the city of Paris to think.

If it was possible, this riddle sounded scarier than the last. Chat Noir must really be in a bad mood because normally he puns, not riddles, and the jokes he tells are stupid and funny. These are just... depressing. Her concern is growing by the minute.

She needs to give an answer.

Twisted… Hold the weight of others… Tie a knot… My use to this world is gone.

Tie a knot? What?

“I—“ she licks her lips and shakes her head.

“I’m at a loss. I don’t know.”

Chat hesitates before whispering the answer.

“A noose.”

Her eyes widen and she suddenly feels like she’s been punched in the face.

“Just kidding, it’s a paperclip.”

But he didn’t seem like he was kidding. She was officially scared.

“Chat, you’re worrying me.”

“What do you call a dead pine tree?”

“Chat.”

“A never-green.”

“Minou, I —“

“What do you call a broken pencil?”

“Chat Noir.”

“Pointless,” he laughs darkly.

“Chat Noir!”

Finally, he looks over at her and her mouth falls agape.

His complexion is so pale, lips are pressed into a thin line, and his eyes are glistening.

“What?” He asks, voice breaking on the word.

Carefully, she places her hands on either side of his face. She stares directly into his eyes.

“You’re worrying me,” her voice shakes. “Please tell me whatever’s making you upset so I can help.”

“… I-I’m not upset.”

“Kitty. You just told me a riddle about a noose.”

He shakes his head, scrunching his eyebrows.

“It was a paperclip, milady. Can’t you appreciate a good joke?”

“Chat, all of the jokes you’ve cracked tonight have been nothing short of depressing.”

Frowning, he pulls away from her hold, avoiding her gaze.

“So? New to dark humor?”

“No,” she shakes her head. “But that’s not normally the humor you have, Chaton.”

He’s quiet for a couple seconds before responding.

“Just wanted to try something different—“

“I’m not going to take these bullshit excuses, you know?”

Chat Noir raises an eyebrow, not used to such language coming from his lady.

“They’re not excuses—“

“YES they are!”

She softens her voice.

“Please,” she begs. “Talk to me.”

It’s almost as if she didn’t say anything, how he continues to stare into the distance, silently appreciating the view of Paris. She follows suit, not knowing what else to say. Instead, she decides to wait it out. Hopefully he’ll talk. Eventually.

And he does.

“My mother died about a year ago.”

Her jaw slackens, but she stays silent.

“Father has always been very… strict. But lately he’s been putting a lot on me. Stuff that… stuff that a normal, average sixteen-year old shouldn’t have to put up with,” he sighs.

He calls his dad father? The only other person who does that is…

Alarms go off in her head.

“He makes me take so many lessons beyond school. Chinese, fencing, piano— and he didn’t even let me go to public school until four months ago. I was homeschooled by my father’s assistant, I mean she’s a good family friend—“

Wait.

“And the only friend that was ever allowed over was the mayor’s daughter, and she’s snobby and hangs off of me like I’m her fucking property when I’m NOT and—“

Chloé?

“Father doesn’t even have dinner with me. I mean, maybe once every two months if I get lucky—“

Her eyes widen. He couldn’t be…

“But most of the time it’s just me and the family friend, and she’s not even eating! She’s looking over my schedule to make sure it’s as jam-packed as it was the day before. I swear I never get a break.

“Sometimes it feels like Father is always disappointed in me, no matter what I do. I feel like I’m trapped in his bubble, like I can’t get out. My house is like a fortress. Or a prison. Being Chat Noir is my escape but I just… It’s getting to be too much, milady.

“I don’t know how much more I can take.”

She feels like she lost her voice. Her brain is on overdrive.

If all the pieces are adding up, my akuma-fighting partner is also my crush who is also a world famous model and—

Focus, Marinette.

“It sounds stressful, A— uh, Chat.”

He intakes a sharp breath.

“Did I say too much?”

She bites her lip. Yes.

“No?”

It comes out as a question. He must suspect that she’s lying.

He tilts his head in admission, then looks down.

“Sorry.”

“Don’t be. Um… I’ll always be here for you. You know that, right?”

Slowly, Chat Noir—Adrien—meets her gaze once again.

His response was hesitant. “Yeah.”

She has to sigh; she doesn’t seem to be getting through to him.

“Minou, you are loved and wanted and I want to make sure you know that.”

Chat Noir chews his bottom lip.

“Thanks, bugaboo.”

They fall into a comfortable silence, just peering down at the streets of their city. She wants to ask him more questions because it seems like there’s more he’s not telling her, but decides against it. She doesn’t expect him to tell her everything, especially since opening up that much was already hard enough for him (and she really shouldn’t have been able to figure out his identity because danger! but she supposes she’ll forgive him since he’s literally the love of her life and he needs someone to be there for him either way).

A small movement in the corner of her eye catches her attention. She looks in Chat’s direction, noting how he’s holding a hand over his left wrist. Her frown deepens. It’s not like she wants him to notice that she’s staring, but she can’t look away. Warily, she watches his face twist in pain.

“Does your wrist hurt, kitty?”

He startles, but shakes his head.

“It’s good.”

“But,” she challenges, “you’re holding it. Looks like it hurts…”

Chat Noir clenches his teeth, turning to look at his lady with fire in his eyes.

“I said it’s good, Ladybug. Leave it.”

Marinette flinches at the use of her superhero name instead of one of his usual nicknames for her. His tone is uncharacteristically harsh, as well.

“I’m sorry,” she whispers.

The last thing she wants to do is upset him more.

She clears her throat, at a loss for words. The atmosphere had suddenly turned tense and she wasn’t fully enjoying his presence anymore. Of course, he wasn’t dangerous or anything, but she really didn’t want him to snap at her again.

Ladybug likes a happy kitten, not a bitter one.

She wishes she knew what to do.

“Well,” Chat speaks. “I gotta head out; get back home before my father’s assistant notices I’m gone and I get taken out of school.”

He stands, getting ready to extend his baton and hop from building to building for as long as possible in order to procrastinate his return to the large, lonely mansion where he resides.

Ladybug hops up so quickly that her head spins, but she ignores it in hope of saying one last thing before he leaves.

“Hey, Chaton?”

Said cat boy looks in her direction, letting her know that he’s listening.

Instead of speaking, she just leans forward to press her lips onto his cheek. When she pulls away, she offers a smile.

“You and me against the world.”

He plasters a (fake) grin onto his face, “Thanks, bugaboo. See you later.”

Then he bolts away, leaving his Lady alone on a rooftop.

Life had gone on as normal for both Adrien and Marinette. For the next two weeks, the superhero pair had not spoken about Chat’s home life or his internal struggles. She wanted to give him some space and he simply wanted to forget that he even showed so much vulnerability around her.

Granted, Adrien didn’t care that she knew. In fact, he was pretty happy that she had been willing to listen. Usually she never allowed rants from the either of them because she knew that it was easy to slip up and say something that could lead an unwarranted identity reveal.

Marinette wanted to talk to him, come to a mutual agreement, and then officially tell each other who they were. She knew it was unfair that she knew and wasn’t telling him, but in all honesty, she wasn’t even sure her suspicions are right.

(She’s ninety-nine percent sure).

Her eyes had been on Adrien for those two weeks, subtly checking to make sure that there weren’t bags under his eyes (there were), that his smiles weren’t forced (they were), and that he was eating enough (she had no way of knowing, but he hadn’t asked for a macaron in a few days and she was starting to get worried).

He was doing somewhat alright, from what she could tell. She didn’t expect to see anything different today.

Boy, was she wrong.

She had been passing out papers to the class regarding their next class trip, explaining that they needed a parent signature, as well as forty-two Euros by next Monday, in order to attend. When she reached Adrien, she paused.

He was rubbing at his left wrist — the same wrist that Chat had been holding in pain that night two weeks ago. His face was contorted painfully; familiarly. This brought about her worries.

Subtly, she placed down the papers in front of him, to which he looked up at her and sent an oh so fake smile in thanks.

As she walked away, Marinette just barely caught a glimpse of some red, scratch-like marks on his skin as he picked the paper up.

Her heart dropped.

She hadn’t realized that him holding his wrist earlier was a sign of self-harm. Apparently he was worse off than she thought. Now, it’s a whole different ball game — one that can’t have secret identities interfering with. She has no choice; she needs to stay in contact with him.

He needs to be okay.

Marinette tried to wait until patrol that night. Really, she did. But she couldn’t resist zipping over to his house and knocking at his window right after his fencing practice had ended.

He jumps at the sound, quickly ushering Plagg to hide in his shirt, before turning around to look at the super-heroine.

“Hi, Ladybug!” He greets with a smile. “Anything I can help you with today?”

She takes that as an invitation to leap into his room, then she allows her yoyo to snap close as she lands in front of him.

Her hands stay in fists as she brings them up to rest at either side of her waist. She grins brightly in his direction.

“Hi, kitty!”

It’s almost comical how his smile drops.

“What?”

In lieu of a response, she drops her arms to rest at her side. Then she takes a few steps forward so that she’s standing much closer to him.

“Your father is strict… he has an assistant… he makes you take piano, fencing, Chinese lessons…”

His eyes widen slowly as she speaks, his heart beating erratically.

Ladybug scoffs, “Honestly, Adrien? You couldn’t have been more obvious.”

He gulps in horror.

Then he narrows his eyes.

“How did you know that Adrien Agreste takes Chinese lessons? I’ve never once mentioned that in an interview…”

She stiffens.

“Uh. B-because you told me before.”

He raises an eyebrow.

“As Chat,” she supplies.

The model scoffs, “I’m not Chat Noir.”

Ladybug shrugs, beginning to stroll around his room.

“Okay. So why did I see you rub your wrist in class today, hm?”

Now it’s Adrien’s turn to stiffen.

“Y-y-you’re in my class? What?” He asks incredulously.

“Yes. I’m the class president.”

She says it so confidently that it scares her. He’s sure to figure it out by now. She can’t look at him as he comes to the realization.

“But my class president is Marinette— wait.”

He huffs, smirking.

“Are you Marinette?”

Finally she casts her gaze in his direction.

“In the flesh.”

She watches as his eyes light up. He approaches her with a smile.

“Oh my god. Wait, then I’m totally okay admitting I’m Chat Noir.”

Her eyebrow raises, “Oh yeah? And if I was, say, Chloé… would you have admitted it?”

He immediately shakes his head.

Ladybug doesn’t even try to stifle her laugh.

“Spots off.”

Adrien watches in amazement as a magical, pink light engulfs her entire body, leaving Marinette Dupain-Cheng standing in his bedroom.

When she’s out of the Miraculous, the first thing Tikki does is call Plagg.

“Plagg, get out here! I need to talk to you!”

Plagg phases through Adrien’s over-shirt and glares at his counterpart.

“Well hello to you too, Sugarcube!”

The other side of the room is then occupied by two magical creatures, allowing for Adrien and Marinette to have some time alone.

An awkward tension fills the air for the first couple moments, as the two recently-outed superheroes stare at each other, letting everything sink in.

Adrien is the first to speak.

“Wow, uh… wow.”

Marinette only nods, unable to comment on his reaction as she is overflowing with concern.

“Adrien, we have to talk.”

His eyes dim and his lips curve downwards. He nods, hanging his head.

“Yeah,” he whispers, “we do.”

He leads her over to the couch and gestures for her to sit down. Then he gets situated right next to her, positioning his hands on his knees. Marinette takes a deep breath.

“So… I saw the scars in class today.”

She shifts her eyes to his left wrist, uncovered and visibly scarred. He follows her eyes, frowning when he meets their destination.

Adrien simply hums, staring at the abused skin but not saying a word.

“Why?” Marinette whispers.

He shrugs.

“I’m fine. It’s just… Chat Noir gives me freedom, but sometimes it’s not enough. I promise I don’t do it that often.”

“The amount of times you do it doesn’t matter, kitty, it’s the fact that you do.”

“What do you care anyway?” He scoffs. “You weren’t paying me much attention before I was in a sour mood that day.”

“I’ve always cared, Adrien. Always. Just because I’m super level-headed doesn’t mean that I don’t pay attention. I notice when you’re sad. I do. This time you were really worrying me, though, so I spoke up.”

Adrien rolls his eyes, “And it didn’t occur to you that maybe I wanted you to ask how I was feeling all those other times I was sad?”

She quiets at that.

“I mean, I understand that you don’t want to get in my way, but I appreciate people caring, Marinette. It means a lot to me. I feel like, if I never gave away too much information, you would still be assuming things about me. Things like, oh he’s okay because he’s loud and cocky and cracks jokes all the time — maybe it’s just a bad day.”

He shakes his head, allowing a bitter laugh to escape his raw throat.

“Every day is a bad day, Mari. I’m just a good fucking actor.”

Marinette soaks in every word like a sponge, letting each and every one hit her right where it hurts, because it’s true. He is a good actor; she’s not good at understanding the script.

I’m sorry, she wants to say. The words dance on the tip of her tongue.

He’s not finished, though.

“I want the world to suffer some days, you know? I want everyone to feel just as pressured and exploited as I have been for basically my entire life. I want all my friends with a good family to see what it’s like to live in this large mansion, with their father closed away in his room, never to be seen again by his own son who just wants him to say I love you.”

When had he started crying?

Well, the tears are flowing and he can’t stop the river now. Not when he has more to say.

“I have the power of destruction wrapped around my finger, Marinette.”

His lip trembles.

“You should be glad that I haven’t tried to Cataclysm any houses, or street lights, or cars, or busses, or-or-or—“

He breaks.

He meant to keep going — to finish his sentence — but he breaks.

There’s not much more that Marinette can do, other than pull him into her arms and whisper soothing words of reassurance as he sobs uncontrollably.

She rubs his back, softly shh-ing him as he lets it all out of his system. She allows him to drown for the time being, all while reassuring that she’ll be there to pull him back to shore.

Each one of his sniffles was a subtle reminder that she was there for him; that no matter if his father comes around to finally paying him some attention, or not, he will always have her shoulder to cry on. Simultaneously, though, her heart twists at how unhealthily he’s been dealing with the trauma.

She had heard stories upon stories of teenagers resorting to self-harm because they had no other outlet, and she had been so thankful that no one she knew had taken those measures. Now, a statistic has become personal. She would be lying if she said that she knew how to handle it.

But she knew that no matter the circumstance, it had to be dealt with.

That meant getting her crush some professional help. A therapist, some medication, and plenty of cuddles. (Cuddles arescientifically proven to relieve anxiety, right? It’s a professional technique).

A quiet sniffle breaks her out of her thoughts. She glances down at Adrien as he slightly pulls away from her hold, eyes red and puffy.

Maybe that can all be dealt with later.

She ruffles his hair.

“Let’s go get some ice cream, yeah?”

Adrien peers up at her in confusion.

She just smiles and wriggles out of their position on his couch, then stands up with her hands on her hips.

“Ice cream always cheers me up. We definitely have to talk more about this later, among other things, but I can’t bear to see you sad any longer. So let’s go!”

The left corner of his mouth perks up, albeit only for a mere second.

“My father—“

“To hell with you father,” Marinette reaches down to grab his hand and hoists him up from the couch.

“We are going to get ice cream whether he likes it or not. You need to do what makes YOU happy, ‘kay?”

He concedes.

After ice cream, they return to the bakery and consult with Tom and Sabine. It had taken a lot of convincing on Marinette’s part to get Adrien to agree, but from there began the journey of his recovery.

They explained his home situation and mental health struggles in full, only leaving out the part about them fighting akumas. Both adults had immediately started searching for a good therapist (and lawyer) that would help Adrien get on the right track.

In the end, Adrien was glad that they had told her parents. Their concern for him and dedication to his cause filled his heart with long lost hope and parental love. It had been so long since he felt cared for. And now that he’s felt it once again, he’s not ready to let it go.

Thank goodness the Dupain-Chengs’ weren’t going to let him go so easily.

It was a unanimous decision that, until he feels comfortable going back to the mansion, he would stay. He didn’t want to burden them, but they insisted. So he had no choice but to accept the offer.

Before he even knew it, another two weeks had passed. A new routine was broken in by the members of the D.C. household — Marinette was getting real annoyed with Adrien’s constant comparisons of her last name initials to Marvel (her father had taken a liking to his puns, however, so now she just lived in constant pain) — and suddenly it was like he had always been there.

His first therapy session wasn’t great. He was riddled with anxiety (no pun intended) and Doctor Benson was too nice for his liking. Well, it wasn’t that he didn’t like it. It was just so off-putting, considering he wasn’t used to being treated with such kindness even by his own father.

Doctor Benson told him that a lot of the things he’s been experiencing aren’t normal, but his response to that trauma is. At first he had been confused when he was told that his father was emotionally neglectful and verbally abusive. He didn’t understand what his father was doing wrong. Once Doctor Benson explained that, “Abuse is a violent, repetitive behavior that has a negative mental, emotional, and/or physical impact on the victim,” it became more clear.

It’s still a concept that he’s getting used to — that he’s a victim of abuse. The thought makes his skin crawl and a shiver run up his spine because he never considered himself to be part of a statistic. Now that he knows he is, he’s not sure what to do.

Marinette keeps telling him, “Even agreeing to go to therapy is a huge step in the right direction, and I’m so proud of you.” Then she goes on to tell him just how special he is to her and how important him and his life is and all of this crap about how he’s worth more than he thinks.

He has to believe her, too, because she’s the one that found him at his worst and instead of judging him, picked him off the ground and took initiative. She’s the one that brought him to her parents, helped him hide from his father, and even got him a part-time job at the bakery. It’s only temporary until he is able to access his earnings, but he will admit that he likes it way better than modeling; that had just been because his father wanted him to, anyways.

Everyone tells him time and time again that he should not be living for his father. He wants to disagree, because that’s what he’s been conditioned to do for so long, but he ultimately chooses not to. Because they’re right; he’s a young adult who should have the freedom to make his own decisions.

In the end, if he’s not happy, there’s always more opportunities. He knows that now.

And there’s no better way to figure out what he wants than to explore, and reach out for help.

A black cat and a ladybug sat atop a roof.

Marinette has her head tucked into the crook of her partner’s neck, eyes closed as she feels the wind blow past her. Adrien’s head lays on top of hers’ and eyes are trained on the full moon above them.

It had been a long day; one akuma attack and three tests, plus their friends wanted to hang out. Exhaustion had taken over hours before, and sleep was creeping up on them. They cherish the view of Paris at night while it lasts, before they have to go home and do it all again the next day.

When she lifts her head to look at her favorite kitty, she’s relieved to see a soft smile resting on his features.

“Whatcha thinking about?”

He glances at her before turning back to the stars, then hesitates.

“Can I tell you a riddle?”

Her face pales and stomach plummets.

“N-no, I don’t want to play this game again.”

“I promise its a good one, nothing too sad.”

They lock eyes. She can tell there is sincerity within those dark green orbs, so she reluctantly nods.

Adrien licks his lips, not breaking his gaze.

“I visit you every night, even if you don’t call me. I’m lost every day. What am I?”

Jokingly, she wants to say “Chat Noir” but their identities are known now, and she sees him every day (so, admittedly, it wouldn’t be that good of a joke). Then she looks up at the sky and she has her answer.

“The stars,” she whispers.

She’s not looking at him, but she can almost hear his smile widen. So she looks back to him, because she loves to see her kitty happy.

Sure enough, a grin — genuine, not forced — is playing on his lips. It’s human nature to copy social expressions, so she lets her mouth curve into a matching grin.

Then she leans in.

Their smiles fade as they inch closer, focused on the next task at hand. His gaze drops to her pink lips, and she stares into his eyes. She can see the thirst, the want, but she can also see his hesitance.

Experimentally, she pauses to see if he’ll close the gap, but he simply stops in accordance with her. She wants this so bad, but he’s very shy when it comes to romance; despite being so outwardly confident as Chat Noir.

He had told her that it was a mask to hide how scared he truly was. His advances towards her were genuine, although deep down, he was afraid of rejection (to which she will forever feel guilty for putting him through). He wanted to break his façade sometimes, but he chose not to for the sake of not worrying her. The media might have noticed his change in behavior, too; granted, he never cared what the public thought of him anyways.

So, to save them both the trouble, she takes the leap and closes the gap, capturing his lips in a fluid movement.

It’s pure ecstasy; electricity pulses through his veins, but at the same time… he’s calm. He’s not sure how to describe the feeling, in all honesty. It’s just perfect.

Well, not perfect, he corrects himself. Enjoyable, but not perfect.

They don’t move in perfect sync and his lips are chapped so she’s probably wondering why the heck are his lips so dry?and her mouth keeps opening and he isn’t sure if it’s a mistake or if he should do something but he’s not ready for the tongue yet, and so their heads are tilting at an awkward angle trying to make sense of the situation —

— but she smells like pastries and her lips are so soft and he can’t help but crack his eyes open because she is so beautiful in every single way oh my god I love her and nothing makes this better than cupping her face with his right hand and feeling just how smooth her skin is which calms him immensely and he just doesn’t want this to end.

When they finally pull away, with heavy breaths and big smiles, little giggles and red cheeks… he’s happy.

Maybe he’s not perfect. Neither is she. Nobody is, and Adrien is just starting to understand that.

Years of conditioning is hard to unlearn, but he is so grateful to have a support system he can count on. Marinette’s parents honorarily adopting him as one of their own, Doctor Benson offering coping mechanisms he hadn’t even known existed, his bodyguard protecting him from the  father  sperm donor he’s still afraid to talk to (one day soon, he’ll have to, but he’s planning on crossing that bridge when he gets there), Ms. Bustier’s unwavering faith in his abilities, and his friends’ insistence that he is more than enough — all of this support is overwhelming, to say the least, but he wouldn’t have it any other way.

Most importantly, there’s Marinette. She has been his rock for the past three years and it’s more true now than it ever was. She is family, in every sense of the word.

“Hey, Mari?” He says quietly, breaking the silence.

“Yes, Chaton?”

The nickname rolls off her tongue in a teasing manner, and he has to laugh.

“Thank you.”

“Always.”

#mlb #miraculous ladybug #miraculous fanfic #adrienette #ladynoir #ladynoir identity reveal #adrienette kiss #tw depression #hurt adrien agreste #adrien agreste needs a hug #marinette dupain cheng #ladybug and chat noir

[notmymainblog]

A Sirius Black x reader angst where he's always flirting with other girls and one day she's had enough and breaks up with him. its only then that he realises how much he loves and needs her, but she doesn't want him anymore. angst ending for sirius, but maybe reader could have a new good relationship or something?

Obsession

Ok, so this is good but also like horrible. Like if I weren’t me, I would cringe at this (i honestly still kinda do). I’ve had a tough time writing at all but a harder time writing Sirius because an angry blow torch and hand mannequin boy are stuck rent-free in my mind. So I um...mixed fandoms I CAN'T HELP IT OK this is what you get for giving me creative freedom ig 🙄  , But I will get through the requests.  

And at your request i will also rewrite this if you want LMAO

Master list

InteractiveFics

To use:

Download obvi. Click the icon (upper right by the search bar) in the first box to enter your name. If you did it correctly y/n should read as your actual name. Under that it will say something along the lines of “need to change something other than y/n?” there you can change anything you want.y/h/c and y/h don't work together so please enter y/ho if you're inputting your Hogwarts house

TW: Oh baby, get ready, kidnapping, semi-forced sex (coercion?) asshole Sirius, self-harm? Like scratching? Stupid fic that sucks, yandere Sirius which, yes, deserves a warning and a big one at that. Death threats, lol. Me simping for a psycho who desperately needs Chapstick.

Here's a song I like!

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It wasn't anything new. Not at all. It shouldn't be normal like this. But it was. Everyone wanted Sirius. Everyone. You often asked yourself why he chose you, but you had never come up with an answer, and neither had he. Sirius always laughed it off. Made a dumb joke. It was pointless.

Almost everything was pointless with Sirius. Making plans, sitting together, being partners in class, and it was incredibly pointless to try and object to sex.

It was always “oh, but y/n I need you so bad baby. Look at how hard I am. Just for you. So hard it fucking hurts. Oh y/n please, ”

So you always gave in. Before you were dating, every sexual exploit Sirius had was public knowledge. But he never told anyone about you. Most of the school didn't even know you were dating.

It was normal for Sirius to wink at a girl, put a hand on her thigh, compliment her before tucking her hair behind her ear, “I'm just joking y/n. I'm not fucking them. Don't be so dramatic.”

“You're not dramatic y/n, ” is what literally anyone else would say if you told them about it. But you didn't. Hell, not even the pillow you cried into knew why.

You had decided enough was enough.

“Sirius, we need to talk, love, ” you said as he tried to pull your shirt off.

He smirked “ooohh, I get it. You want to hear how fucking hard I am for you, how pretty you sound moaning my name?” he chuckled.

“N-no, I want to talk about something else, ” you whispered

“What? Do you have a piss kink or something?” he asked.

“No, Sirius, not everything is about sex!” you said, much louder than you intended to.

He nodded, “so it's your period, huh? It's ok, you can still blow me, ” he shrugged.

“No! It's about you being all over the other girls. All. The. Damn. Time. Every time I see you, a girl is hanging on your shoulder.” you said.

“Oh my god, y/n, you are the most dramatic woman I've ever met. Have you never had a friendly conversation before?” he scoffed.

“I've had plenty of conversations with other boys, and I didn't have my hand on their thigh the entire conversation,” you said.

“God, just calm down; why are you so emotional?” he sighed.

“why aren't you so emotional. Why aren't you worried that you made me sad? Do you even care?” you sniffled.

“Of course I care, but hon, we need to move past this. It's stupid, and I haven't really done anything wrong. It's fine, ” Sirius smiled, pulling at the waistband of your pants.

“Get off me, ” you groaned, pushing him away by his head.

“Ow ow ow y/n the hair! That hurts!” he whined.

You gave it an extra tug before storming into your dorm.

By the end of the night, your pillow was wet with tears and sticky with snot. You threw the cover off of it before washing your face. The cold water felt heavenly against your watery, itchy eyes and irritated nose. A couple of shaky deep breaths stilled your cries as you fell into the sweet release of sleep.

However, the morning was hell. The whispers and laughter were horrible. The sympathetic looks were even worse.

‘I don't need to be coddled; I'm not made of glass.’ you huffed to yourself.

You sat down at the y/ho table and began to eat. You felt a hot presence next to you.

“Hello, Dabi, ” you said dully.

“Hey princess, finally ditched dog breath, I see, ” he said with a grin.

“Yeah, why do you care?” you asked, stabbing your pancake aggressively.

“Because I take broken girls and manipulate them into doing whatever I want over a week because I'm so good at gaslighting. Got that from my dad, ” he winks.

Your brain loaded for a second, “excuse me, you what?”

“You heard me, sugar. But we both know you're much too smart and much too pretty for it,” Dabi said, leaning in.

“This is literally part of gaslighting Dabi, ” you laughed.

“Shut up, or it won't work, ” he whispered.

“Ah, alright, I'm so flattered that I'm special and your feelings are real, ” you said in a robotic voice.

“Ha!” he laughed, “you're not bad y/n we should be friends, ” he said.

You nodded, smiling, “alright.” making friends had always been hard for you so to have this opportunity fall in your lap was a blessing.

“Um, but my other friend is-” he started.

“Weird?” you interrupted.

“Um yeah, you could say that. Not to Tomura's face, but you could say that” he smiled

(and that ^^ is what happens when you forget to turn the writer's block sub back on)

A couple of days passed. Tomura kept to himself mostly. Calling him and Dabi friends was a stretch; they were enemies who enjoyed each other's company was the best way to describe it.

However, when Tomura did come around for the first time, he was obviously anxious, taking off his gloves and scratching his neck more than usual, leaving red marks.

(we need to have soft Tomura moments, but cannonly he would be a Slytherin and act the part, but I just need more of him being baby)

At one point, you simply yanked his hand away from his neck (by his arm, obviously). He stared at you, and for a second, you thought you were done for.

But his look turned to one of adoration, and he hasn't left you alone since. No one had done anything like that for him, which was... Surprising since it was literally the bare minimum. Nevertheless, he followed you around like a lost puppy dog.

He ate with you, read with you, partnered up with you (leaving a very annoyed Dabi to fend for himself). You could've easily discouraged him by ignoring him, but you felt bad for him. If you were honest, it felt good for someone to finally need you. And he really was a sweet boy. He just needed someone to talk to.

And not in a hurl-playful-insults type of way. He would talk to you about his hobbies, his favorite muggle games, everything. It made your heart warm. He kept his gloves on a lot more which made teachers and students alike sigh in relief.

Usually, he'd leave at least one hand free as a sort of “ill disintegrate your ass if you piss me off” way. But he wanted to be careful around you.

“y/n?” he said, sitting beside you.

“Yes, Tomura?” you smiled, closing your book. You learned quickly that if you weren't giving him your undivided attention, he would get discouraged and moody.

“There's a dance on Friday, ” he said, looking at you.

You really didn't understand where this was going. Sirius has never asked you to dance. He just got ready and dragged you with him until he found another girl to dance with.

You nodded, “yeah are you taking someone?”

“N-no, but I was wondering if you wanted to go with me?” he asked timidly.

“Id love to, anything for you, my friend ” you smiled.

It was rare that someone gave him something he wanted without the threat of instant death. Even if it was just as friends, he was thrilled.

“And I, ” Dabi interrupted, “ want both of you to hang out with me. Because everyone else is “scared ill light them on fire”? What bullshit, ” he muttered.

“You would, Mr. anger issues. They have a good reason to be sacred. Most of us don't want to be toasted like a marshmallow, ” Tomura shot back, beginning to engage in their usual banter.

And so the night ended with laughter, but for Sirius, things hadn't been as fun.

“You miss her! Admit it!” James cried.

Sirius punched the wall, “yes! Yes, I fucking do, James! Ok! I get it! But her new “friends” will literally cremate me if I get close to her! And one of them is basically obsessed with her.” he huffed, “such a creep, ”

Remus grabbed Sirius by the shoulders, “I'm a nice guy, but Sirius, you did this to yourself. Even after she told you about how she felt you made...you made...” he pinched the bridge of his nose, “I still can't believe you made a fucking period joke!”

“Jeez, Rem, it wasn't a joke, ” he said.

“Sirius, ” James said, “that's even worse,”

“Even James knows what he's doing, Sirius!” Remus cried, “ladies-man, my ass, you don't know what you're doing!”

“Girls like assholes, ” he shrugged. “I was born for this, ”

“At least he's self-aware, ” Remus muttered

“If she liked assholes like you, Sirius, she’d be fucking Dabi right now, ” James said.

“Make it up to her, ” Remus said, pushing him out of the room, “like right now!”

Sirius muttered something about a ‘burnt piece of toast looking man’ before sulking down the stairs.

He dragged his feet to the y/ho common room. The girls were like mosquitoes; they were bearable at first, but now they were really fucking annoying.

Sirius let out an audible sigh when he saw you weren't there, alerting everyone of his presence. And so the mosquitoes swarmed him again.

“Oh my god, get off, ” he finally groaned, pushing away from the group of pouting girls.

He dragged his feet up the stairs to your dorm, peeking in to make sure your personal blow torch wasn't there. What he did see pissed him off. More than anything ever had.

There you were with Shigaraki dabbing lotion on the scratches and taking care of him. He should be the only one you took care of. Him and only him. Hell, he would kill the wrinkly bastard if he had to. Take him away so you would only fall for him. Only him. He'd get rid of Dabi too. It didn't fucking matter to him.

The only thing that stopped him was the realization that, in a way, he sounded just like his parents—mindless killing. He swallowed his pride and knocked on the door.

“What's up, you fiery bastard?” you called to who you assume was Dabi.

“A fiery what?” Sirius called back.

You tensed, and Tomura placed a gloved hand on yours, squeezing softly.

“Come in, ” you said glumly.

“Hey, um, I just came in here to apologize and see if you wanted to go to that dance with me?” he asked.

Tomura reached a hand to his neck, but before he could start, you grabbed his arm again.

“Hey, what did we talk about? No scratching. I don't want you hurting yourself, Tomu, ” you said quietly.

The nickname hit him like a truck; he loved it. He loved it more than anything on earth. He loved you more than anything on earth- no, more than anything in any galaxy.

“Sirius, I’m already taking someone to the dance. And they're a lot nicer than you. So, kindly, fuck off.”

His eyes widened, and his mouth almost dropped open, “who?” he said.

“None of your business, ” you scowled.

“They'll never love you the way I did, sweetie. You know that. I'm the only one who could really love you.” he cooed.

Tomura was filled with rage, but he clenched his hand at his side instead of scratching. He didn't want to disappoint you.

“Y-you love me?” you whisper.

“Of course I do baby, I love my girl more than anything on earth, ” he smiled, but it never reached his eyes.

“Whos gonna love you better than I can, huh?” he asked, “nobody, that's who, ”

His lips moved of his own accord, “You're wrong, ” Tomura said.

“Oh yeah?” he growled, “who? Blow torch boy?”

“No, ” he said, standing up and taking a breath, “me, ”

Sirius just looked at him and laughed, “please, you'll fucking kill her. Literally. What will she do with gloved hands? They can't touch you like mine do, baby, ”

That snapped you right out of your trance, “oops, I must have forgotten that you're missing a brain, Black. You only think with your dick, which, by the way, isn't even that great.”

“And for your information, as long as he has one finger covered, he can touch me, ” you huffed, standing up as well.

This was it, the moment Shigaraki had waited for; it should have been more romantic and without your ex, but still, this was it. Someone cleared their throat from behind Sirius.

“You're blocking the door, dog breath. Get out of the way or say goodbye to your eyebrows, ” Dabi said.

He moved reluctantly, and Dabi flopped down on your bed.

“If you're gonna take this asshole back, you should gimme a chance. I bet I fuck better than him, ” he smirked.

“We’ll talk later without these assholes—astronomy tower. 3:00 am,” Sirius mumbled before shutting the door.

You wrapped your arms around Tomura, rubbing his back.

“I'm not going. Don't worry, ” you said, knowing how anxious Tomura was.

He nodded and wrapped his arms around you, kissing the top of your head.

“Wait, wait, wait a fucking minute. Did I miss a season? Can I have a fucking recap?” Dabi groaned.

And so, you talked late into the night with an arm around Tomura and a very angry Dabi who was sent into the bathroom to take a cold shower after almost burning your bed.

Sirius waited for over an hour for you at the tower. He stomped on the roses, pulling off each petal before throwing them off the tower.

“Those assholes, ” he growled, breathing heavily, “I'll kill them. I'll fucking kill them both of them, ” he rambles for a good thirty minutes before stomping down the stairs.

He slammed the door to his dorm open.

“She didn't fucking show that fucking asshole stole her from me, and I'm gonna kill them both of them and make her all mine, ” he rambled.

“Merlin Siri, calm down. Unless you want to spend the rest of your life in Azkaban (😳), you'd better get ahold of yourself.” James yawned.

“For the love of god, go to fucking sleep, Sirius. She's not vanishing tomorrow.” Remus groaned.

“You're a genius!” Sirius shouted.

“Oh my god. Sirius, no. Bad dog. Don't kidnap girls you like... Or well are obsessed with. Love is a stretch, ” Remus said, going back to sleep.

But come morning, you were not, in fact, at breakfast.

Sirius almost vomited when he saw you with your arms around Tomura. Tomura Shigaraki, the perpetual thorn in his side. He carefully lifted you and carried you to a small closet no one but him even knew about before binding and gagging you. He thought it was so sweet. Waking up slowly, not knowing where you are.

When you're y/e/c eyes met his, your face contorted into disgust. It broke his heart to watch his brainwashed little girl so mad at him.

He stroked your cheek, “Oh baby girl, I hope you can clear your mind from all the silly things they told you. It would be lovely if it were before the dance, but... A two-day timeframe may not do the trick.” he tutted, placing a kiss on your nose.

You tried to squirm away but just backed yourself into a corner. Sirius muttered a silencing charm before removing the gag.

“Dabi is gonna burn you to bits, Sirius, ” you growled.

“Whatever makes you happy, my love, you are allowed to think. Even if you're oh so wrong. Even if I know they don't care for you the way I do, ” he cooed.

“Oh my god, Tomura is gonna flip, ” you said, “shit, I hope he's ok, I hope he doesn't think I just left him, ” tears brimmed your eyes.

“What if he hurts himself? Oh god, Sirius, please let me go, ” you pleaded.

“No can do, sweetheart, ” he smiled, pressing a kiss to your lips as you tried to turn away.

It felt like days, even though it was only a couple of hours. Sirius kept telling you that only he loved you. How a silly little girl like you could never survive without him. That no one else wanted you this way.

But finally, after dozens of prayers to whoever's listening, James and Remus opened the door.

“What are you doing here?” Sirius cried, “you'll ruin it! Everything I've worked for! You weren't even supposed to know where we were!”

“We have a fucking map, Sirius. This is so creepy. You're so creepy. Get out of here, man.” Said James as he pulled him out by his hair.

Remus made quick work of the knots before setting you free. After giving them both two quick hugs, you rushed to breakfast. Your eyes scanned the hall for light blue or spiky black hair. You found the latter first.

“Hey Dabi, where's Tomura, ” you asked.

“Wouldn't you like to know, ” he sneered over his coffee.

“Yes, I would like to fucking know flame boy, ” you said.

“How can you just leave in the middle of the night and demand to know where he is?” he said, slamming a fist on the table.

“Cause I was taken from my bed by a psycho and spent the last couple hours trapped in a closet!” you whisper shouted, showing him the rope marks.

“I'm gonna incinerate him; he's in your dorm still. Didn't wanna leave.” Dabi whispered.

The walk back to the y/ho dorms felt excruciatingly long. When you finally burst through the door, your heart broke. There was Tomura nearly shaking, crying softly with bleeding scratches on his neck.

You crouched in front of him, reaching up to touch his face before he grabbed your arm.

“You left, ” he whispered, “was it for him? Please just tell the truth,”

“I didn't want to Tomu, ” you said, “He took me, and I couldn't stop him. He put me in a closet, and the whole time, I was thinking about you nonstop. I was worried, and I missed you. I just wanted you. You make me feel so safe, darling,”

He pulled you into his chest by your arm; you never realized how strong he was. He made slow circles on your back with his finger.

“It's ok, ” he whispered, “it's ok, ” he too saw the marks from the rope on your wrist.

(how do I fucking end this. Do I kill off Sirius? AH, I know).

The days felt shorter with Dabi and Tomura by your side. Suddenly it was the day of the dance. You woke up to soft kisses on the back of your neck.

“Good morning, love, ” you said sleepily.

“Good morning to you too, y/n, ” he whispered.

The day went by quickly; the teachers gave up on teaching, and before you know it, you were slipping on your dress.

Your hands clenched into fists as you walked past Sirius, feeling his eyes on you. You were too scared to tell anyone. And who would they believe? The golden boy who was the purest kindest family member, or you?

You felt his eyes on you as a burnt and stapled arm wrapped around your shoulders. He pointed to a very nervous Tomura.

“Please, for the love of god y/n calm the man down, ” he said.

The closer you got, the more you blushed; he was amazing. He was the most beautiful boy you’d ever seen. You stopped in your tracks as a girl stopped to talk to him.

This was it; it was the end; it was happening again. But instead, Tomura shook his head, and the girl walked away. You ran over to him (as fast as your shoes allowed) and wrapped your arms around his neck.

You pressed a soft kiss to his neck, “you're so amazing, ” you whispered

His arms wrapped around your waist, “I'm happy you think so, my dear, ” he smiled.

And you spent the night dancing as Sirius broke the glass he was holding in his hand. But he'd get you again someday, he knew it.

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This was long. This was pathetic. This was horrible. The was unrealistic. This was cringe-worthy. This was dramatic. I should probably make a side account. It all started with a playlist on my recommended and idk which mental illness caused this or if I'm just dramatic, but my brain immediately latched on to this burnt piece of toast, and after watching the show, this wrinkly psycho. It's been hard to write, period. But also hard to write Sirius, but I will power through, I promise.

#Sirius Black #Sirius orion black #sirius black x reader #sirius x you #sirius black angst #angst #sad? #mha #mixed fandom #Harry Potter #harry potter marauders #marauders era #this sucks so good

[cat-sapphics]

Hey!

I follow the" aroace lesbian" tag and your recent posts have come up in my feed so I just wanted to say that being arospec, acespec (demiromatic graysexual, both labels in the aromantic and asexual spectrums) & lesbian is completely OKAY and you should not let anyone tell you the contrary. Especially uneducated people so 😚🤍

Many aroaces use the term aroace to encompass being in both aromantic and asexual spectrums; this means you experience little to no romantic/sexual attraction and that's more than valid. You can be both arospec and aspec! 🔥 Or arospec and asexual. Aromantic and acespec 🥺🤝

The way YOU experience romantic and sexual attraction is just different to the average allo person, & that doesn't make it any less valid. Attraction is an abstract concept and we shouldn't be putting ourselves into boxes but letting feelings be that, feelings.

Your experiences are necessary and important to our diverse & big aro/ace communities as an aroace lesbian! An aspec person is that who experiences little to no romantic attraction. That's it. THAT'S OKAY 🥰

And being an aspec lesbian is more than valid too, it's not a contradictory term because the little and fluctuating romantic & sexual attraction you DO experience, is ONLY towards women/nb so; I don't see why lesbian isn't a term you can't use. A lesbian is a women/nb female aligned person who experiences romantic, sexual and/or emotional attraction towards women/nb female aligned people. Check, check & check ✅

All in all, ace lesbians, aro lesbians and aroace lesbians are ALL part of the lesbian community & our unique experiences with romance and sex are necessary and valid for it 💓

Sorry if this got long, hope I made my point clear. Aroace lesbians have always been lesbians so don't let any exclusionists steal your peace 🧡🤍💖

thank you!! thank ya thank ya thank ya!! i really appreciate it <3

i will say, i think some of the anons i got did make some valid points (obviously not everywhere you look but they at least gave me something to think about in general) but it really took me by surprise how condescending and disapproving they all were. super uneducated too, i said i experience attraction differently or at least less frequently than average allo people and like ?? that doesn't mean i'm secretly a self-hating lesbophobe ?? you don't get to determine that for me if i'm genuinely happy even though i participate in lesbian discourse and am passionate about keeping the definition specific and closed ?? lol i didn't redefine lesbian or take away its initial meaning so it really had me peeved

i think most of their comments reflect on how they don't believe in aromanticism and asexuality being a spectrum, which i guess i invited by my own doing since i have some conservative and exclusionary views on the lgbt community and that affects my following/audience, but my response to that is that i use these labels because they bring me personal comfort. when i say i'm demiromantic i don't mean that alloromantics have zero standards when it comes to a potential partner or are completely mesmerized by the idea of hook-ups, just that the connection they need to start crushing comes within a decent time period with a personal connection, but not a super strong and deep and loving one that makes it exceptionally hard to fall in love despite however much we may desire to. the label doesn't exist to imply something bad about """normal""" people, it exists to name an experience many people have but to an intense degree. so, yes, it's a pointless social construct, it probably means nothing to you and that's fine, but it still means something to me. i'm not crying oppression or marginalization, and i'm not claiming that i'm lgbt on the basis of being demiromantic/greyasexual, but through being a nonbinary lesbian. that's the difference between mspec lesbians and aspec lesbians, is one is actively harmful to multiple groups and actually Does spawn from a place of internalized lesbophobia and/or biphobia, and the other is just "mmk this is just for me and affects nothing at all, it doesn't drag you into anything at all, i still qualify for lesbian the way you (should!) see it as technically even if you do believe it's redundant, so just... leave me alone" cause it reflects more on them than me when they make it their business by unfairly assuming things about me

same applies to me being greyasexual. still trying to figure out if it means that i experience sexual/physical attraction less frequently, less intensely, or both, but does that matter?? genuinely?? this is also redundant but i didn’t wanna leave it out of the paragraph about me being demiro fk;ljslkgbdvhbs. the aro disapproval part isn’t acceptable at all but i can at least see it since romance is so normalized and is a core part of, y’know, lgb relationships; the greyace disapproval however....... i don’t wanna label it as acephobia because i don’t really believe in aphobia being a thing, but it still kinda rubs me wrong to claim that sexual/physical attraction is a requirement ykyk... NOTHING WRONG WITH PEOPLE WHO HAVE SEX OF COURSE (i myself kinda wanna try someday if that works out) i just think frowning upon someone who doesn’t UNLESS they try to claim they’re lgbt on that basis is.................. not really cool. i really hope people who read this understand what i’m trying to say and don’t label me as an ace inclus who thinks aphobia and oppression are real, i was just trying to make a point about my personal experiences oops lmao

and then it became "aroace means NO ATTRACTION AT ALL" okay... so i'm angled aroace, that's a sub-term since aroace is literally an umbrella term, actually (unlike lesbian, shit's complicated ykyk). "YOU'RE NOT AROACE THEN"....... they don't even like the idea of oriented aroace now either, so like, what then, are aroace people just never allowed to feel love or positive feelings from other people ever? jesus christ. i'm not even getting into this, i consider aro/ace identities to be secondary to describe one's attraction so this debate should not be as important as, say, discourse centering the L, G, B, or T. it's just dumb all around tbh

hope i addressed all the arguments against it, but i can't really care at this point if i missed something :/ i'll probably get a mean anon about it so don't worry!! /s jslgjgjkshkj;lhfp

speaking of, i've had to delete so many anons and even turn off the option to ask anonymously because of this discourse. it's so pointless in my opinion, so i've just stopped giving them my time unless i think it's worth answering - but even then, i try to keep it fairly short. i genuinely was not expecting my take on (cishet) ace discourse to turn into myself failing to be seen as a "real lesbian" despite literally meeting its definitive qualifications and then it just kept building up ?? stan behavior tbh, especially since plenty of them obviously come from the same users

i apologize for the rant. i just never really felt like i'd be listened to if i tried to explain my identity, so i gave up and just tried to ignore my way out of it. so i really genuinely appreciate your ask, especially since i can identify you. it really feels like i actually have someone on my side now, so even if you ever disagree i'd know you wouldn't harass me about it. it really means a lot, i really needed this from you and i don't wanna dump more shit but i feel that you deserve to know. so thank you again <3

#ask #thegyusorcerer #not anon #lesbian discourse #aroace lesbian #aspec #demiromantic #greyasexual #aromantic #asexual #lesbian #aro discourse #ace discourse #aspec discourse #lgbt discourse #really sorry for the dump lol i just always have a lot to say about everything all the time #i'm okay i promise it's just frustrating #i've been to twitter for 2 years so trust me cause tumblr cannot do a comparable amount of damage lmfao #and it's literally just discourse. the only thing that really gets to me is the possibility of being hypocritial #if i WANT to take a break i will #again thank u so much for the ask #hope this isn't too much :') #pridecat rants

[souryogurt64]

I’ve seen PATD in concert live twice and they were great and brendon did help me come to terms with being bisexual in a way bc the way he came out in that interview was just so understated like it was no big deal and I needed that bc all my life my parents drilled into me that lgbt people were abnormal. Also girls/girls/boys slaps and really turns a lot of bi stereotypes on their heads. PATD was just such a formative part of my teens. Now that I’m older I prefer MCR and FOB anyway, like I think those two bands really stayed strong throughout their careers and part of why they were able to keep improving was bc all the members stayed (I know MCR broke up but I mean throughout their career there was no change in who made up the band) I think PATD suffered from that and brendon isn’t the best songwriter on his own so a lot of the stuff now is mainstream pop which can be fine sometimes but like we know he can do better. I don’t want to call him a sellout but like… sometimes I can see the argument that now that everyone left the band he’s just trying to cash in on fame while he’s in the spotlight

As for all the allegations I think he has an ego, like super huge one and for that reason he sucks to work with. I don’t think now he wants to share the spotlight with anyone since he’s the only original remaining member so it is unfortunately the brendon show. I do think he just runs his mouth and does not think about the consequences but it’s hard to decipher his intent bc we are not him. I think the fame did go to his head a little bit and he needs to unlearn racist and misogynistic stereotypes and not just spew word vomit during livestreams bc he does hurt people when he does that. I think when he says he’s gonna fuck the crowd whether they like it or not… it’s obvious that is a joke. Is it in poor taste? Yes. But I think it’s pointless to jump down his throat about that kinda thing. He should absolutely apologize to the individual people he said shit to and idk he just needs to learn how to have a filter and not be an asshole right. Like easier said than done, I know he has ADHD too which while not an excuse is probably a contributing factor that he needs to work on in therapy and such

I still listen to them and try not to feel guilty about it :/ their last two albums I do not love as much bc it’s kinda generic (I think TWTLTRTD was their last v solid album all the way through like I love electro pop) . I think as with anything we have to remain critical of the artists we listen to and call them out when they do shit like brendon did but like. No artist is unproblematic. Brendons done great things and he’s done shitty things. He should be held accountable for sure, but like if people still want to listen to them… let them.

yeah he has a huge ego and is definitely a bully, everyone has left the band and now he just has touring backup members instead of creative collaborators. brendons behavior absolutely does cause harm-- he enabled zack sexually harassing and bullying women on tour and fans for years until it became a massive PR problem. like seriously imagine youre a teenage girl and you spend hundreds of dollars to see your favorite band panic at the disco and you log into twitter and his best friend took a photo of you at the show without your consent and poked fun at your weight for thousands of people to see. its just disgusting that brendon tolerated it, i think he has very little respect for fans and takes them for granted.

brendon really does not fit nicely into lgbt softgirl/softboy discourse but like it or not no matter what dumb shit he says hes openly bi/pan and i really appreciate how nonchalant he is about it and that was important to me as well. i liked death of a bachelor. however i have ADHD and its definitely not an excuse for any of brendons behavior

[b-lessings]

I'm really struggling with being emotionally attached to a lot of toxic people in my life, their toxic to me and harmful to my faith, and I've tried to let go, and not let them bother me but its so difficult, I was just wondering if you could offer some tips or some guidance that'll help me move on from these people.

Hi sweetie,

Can I first off start by saying I relate to this so much to the point that it felt like I was reading into my own inner thoughts :') So I hear you, I see you, I get you * hugs you *

I don't really have any guidelines per sey because this is complicated. It depends on your type of personality, your psychological issues, your coping mechanisms, etc. This is a little out of my depth, and there is no standard prescription "to heal from our attachement to toxic people". Like for example, sometimes I feel like my own siblings are so toxic and dealing with them is exhausting but I still like them on other days, lol. I don't wanna get sidetracked here but I will share with you two great hacks from therapist. They do work for me, so I hope they'd work for you too.

In case you can't stay away or kick certain people out of your life, for one reason or the other, if you really have to deal with them, what you are going to do is create an armor-like protection around yourself so that the toxicity doesn't get to you or doesn't hit you as hard as it used to when you weren't guarded. It's simple, build a hypothetical wall around your heart, mind, and spirit and save yourself so that for example if this person said something bad or mean to you, their insult or their negative energy that's coming towards you would crash onto the wall and not hit you. One of the components of the protective armor or shields is to know that what they say doesn't reflect who you are but what they are. If someone ia acting rude or mean towards you, you have to know it's because they are struggling and that they are the ones with unacknowledged unidentified issues and they need help, so instead of being hurt by them and resenting them, you can change those negative feelings into empathy because at the end of the day they are just victims of their untreated issues. But anyways, you did say you want to move on.. which is the harder part..

I think, you need to look beyond your " attachement ", you need to dig deeper.. the question is how can I stop being attached, right, but you can't answer that without answering a bigger question that is : WHY Am I attached?

I don't know if you can understand my point, so I will give you a personal example. I only recently found out, that it's not " attachements " that I develop but more like " obsessions " because I have an obsessive personality (with both OCPD and OCD). So the reason why I get so attached to people and I can't let go is because once that person is in my life I get basically obsessed with them. And it's only when you understand the source of your attachment (like why do I do this, why do I repeat this pattern) is when you will know how to break the cycle and free yourself. (I also have separation anxiety, so letting go is kinda not a peaceful ground for me). The hack is to always identify your feelings, what exactly am I feeling. For starters it is a good step, then you can go deeper .. why am I feeling this.. and then you can move to other levels : what do I do with this realization, how do I handle this situation, and so on. And I think you would need a professional help at this stage. We all do. It is not easy to process.

Now, another point, you did mention your faith, so I take it you are a Muslim sister (I am only assuming from my mutuals and the people I interact with, please let me know if I am wrong) - and this is where I tell you that our hearts are only made to get attached to our one and only Creator. Every other humanly worldly thing that gets our attention will only bring us pain. It's when you refocus your love and attention on the one and only God and Lord of all realms is when everything else will seem so insignificant so pointless so unworthy. I definitely recommend you read Reclaim Your Heart by Ustadha Yasmin Mogahed or listen to her podcasts on Muslim Central or hear her lectures on YouTube. She does talk a lot about the topic of attachement.

I hope my rambling helped 🤍

Please get back to me with Feedback. Best of luck sis 🤍.

#attachement #asks #ask A.Z.

[one-abuse-survivor]

reporting from the milky way again :)

yes, i did get the exams and project out of the way (the main reason i worked on the project so much last weekend was because i had to turn it in until sunday night) but right now were in the process of getting all the grades back and tbh i'm less than happy about it. So far i'm not happy about math, physics and chemistry and there'll be even worse grades in geography, german and music.

and my dad did not realize the extent of my struggles and seems to think that i'm just a rebellious teenager or something

i know that my mom will be around tomorrow afternoon and i am planning to talk with her then but that'd be a one-on-one conversation and i'm not sure if i can handle that at the moment but we'll see. i can tell you how it went afterwards.

and i'm really excited for friday bc it's the last day of school this year and afterwards we have a 7 week break and i'll be able to go out for lunch with a friend whom I haven't seen in two years because they moved to the US.

okay so this is milky way again and i wanted to let you know how trying to talk to my mom went

spoiler alert: it was worse than disappointing

i didn't start talking about my suspicions of being neurodivergent because i wanted to see how helpful she'd be first so i just kinda started with how i struggle with concentrating and not getting distracted at school and my sleep issues and that's about as far as i got before i got a feeling of how pointless this was.

the only thing she did was telling me that others have it worse (since i still have above-average grades), that everyone has this kind of existential crisis at some point during their teenager years, that the sleeping and concentration issues are just teenager issues that everyone has and that everyone feels like their struggles are worse than everyone else's even tho most of the time they actually aren't and finally that she can't help me

i of course quickly got the hell out of the room and went to bed (so i can be by myself in my room in the dark with my door closed). on one hand i'm absolutely furious and on the other hand i am disappointed, sad and dejected and i don't really believe myself anymore. seriously, what if she's right? she's had about 40 years more life experience and she was a teenager too at some point so she'd know this kinda thing, wouldn't she? what if i'm just complaining too much and talking over the ones that are actually struggling and can actually prove it with grades and stuff?

i feel a lot worse than i did one hour ago and i should've just not started talking in the first place and i regret it so much because i know this conversation will haunt me for the next week if not more.

i'm just angry angry angry

at myself, at her, at the way she compared me with literally everyone else at my age, at how i'm not sure of myself and at everything

i haven't felt this bad since last november and that was when things got really really bad (suicidal thoughts and self-harm included) and i'm so so scared of being there again because i'm on a 7 month 2 week streak with self-harm and i don't want to have to break it

sorry that this is just me venting and that this is so long

tl;dr i tried talking to my mom, now i'm angry at myself and her and i'm terrified of myself

Hi again ❤ I'm really sorry your grades aren't as good as you wanted them to be and that your dad keeps acting like your struggles are just a teenage rebellious phase and not taking you seriously :( I hope you have a good time with your friend, at least!

I'm so so sorry talking to your mom went so badly. I hope you're feeling slightly better now, but if not, I'm sending you the biggest virtual hug. I know how hard it can be to believe you're actually struggling at first, especially mentally, and I can't even imagine how horrible it must feel to have those fears "proven" by the very people meant to help you and support you when you reach out for help.

She is not right, nonnie, no matter how much she insists she is. First of all, I think there's at least some truth to the idea that teenagers tend to think the world revolves around themselves, and to feel uncomprehended at times. But I also think that's completely understandable. I mean, you're experiencing what it's like not to be a kid anymore for the very first time; you're facing many grown-up problems and feelings for the first time. And all of that while hormones wreak havoc in your system. How are you not meant to be at least a little bit angsty at times? But you know what? That doesn't mean you don't deserve help and guidance from your parents! It is a part of parenting to guide your kids through their teenage problems and to help them deal with emotions and issues they'd never had to face before. So even if she was right, and all you were going through right now was a typical teen existential crisis, you would still need and deserve her guidance and support. And you would still deserve to see a doctor about your struggles with sleep and concentration even if it turned out it was a teenage thing. There is no scenario where you deserve to suffer and push through your struggles alone just because your problems don't come from a serious enough source.

Second of all, grades are not indicative of how much you're struggling. I got some of the best grades in my school during years where I was going through abuse. I know a person who managed to get into a medicine degree with undiagnosed ADHD (and you have to get some really high grades to study medicine here). I also know a person who passed 3/4ths of her uni subjects and graduated university while in a depression so severe she could barely walk. Your grades do not dictate whether you need help.

And third of all, she might be older than you, and I'm sure she had a lot of learning experiences as a teenager herself, but that doesn't mean she knows you better than you know yourself. No one knows you better than you know yourself. No one has experienced all life experiences and gets to decide what other people are or aren't going through. And most importantly, there's always going to be someone who has it "worse" than everyone in this world, but that doesn't mean everyone else doesn't deserve help to manage their struggles. There's no such thing as not struggling enough to deserve help. Either you're not struggling at all, whatsoever, or you are to some extent—and no matter what that extent is, if you feel like you need help with it, then you need help with it. No one gets to tell you you don't.

From what I know, it's not unheard of for neurodivergent people to get told by their parents that their experiences are universal and therfore "not a big deal", and for it to turn out that their parents have some signs of neurodivergence themselves and just never got diagnosed. I of course don't know if that's the case here, but I want you to know that regardless of her reasons to tell you your experiences are universal—whether she also went through that and never had it acknowledged or she's saying it to gaslight you and make you question yourself—her behaviour is still neglectful. And you deserved so much better than to be made to feel like you're making things up, exaggerating and talking over others when all you did was ask for help with your personal struggles.

Sending a giant hug your way ❤️

#milky way anon #ask #abusive parents #neglectful parents #emotional neglect tw #self harm mention #suicidal mention #suicidal tw #Neglect tw #Abuse tw #Abuse

[cookieek]

Chapter 13: In which trolls fly and flowers are picked

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 Epilogue ao3 Wattpad

(Sorry for the long wait! School happened, hope the chapter is still nice though! :])

“So how about that curse little man, any attempts at breaking it yet?” 

Edda looked up at Snurra from the potion she had started to work on after releasing Arthur from her arms, and so did Arthur, who was still, for some reason, sitting in her lap. She had tried not to think about him being there.

“The curse?” Arthur said, at first sounding oddly confused. “Oh right! Yeah, I’ve been at it, for a long while now... unsuccessfully...” he hunched over a little, before snapping up straight again “But, I think miss Edda might be able to break it.”

“Oh? How’s that curse breaking going then Miss magician?” Snurra asked, sounding a bit intrigued.

Edda shifted slightly on the log she was sitting on.

“Well, I’m still trying to figure out any weak points in the fairy’s magic I could exploit, but I guess it’s, going.” She scratched the back of her head, and explained the current plan of action they had. 

Snurra nodded along and hummed a bit.

“Sounds like you still got quite the work ahead of you two.” She cocked her head to the side as she seemed to gaze along the road she was walking on. Edda found herself just a bit entranced in the way the sun shone on Snurra’s hair, but quickly snapped out of it. “Well, I wish you luck in you mission.” Snurra finally continued. “I would like to aid you, but magic was always my sisters strong suit, not mine.”

“Yeah my mom is great! Her cousin is this lady that hangs out in a lake and they learned a lot of magic together!” Nini butted in, her face gleaming with excitement.

Snurra laughed at her.

“That sjörå is my cousin too you know,” she shot a quick, amused, smile over her shoulder. “That’s why we’re planning to visit her after we see uncle Grävegrus, remember?”

“Wait.” Arthur said suddenly. “Trolls can do magic?! Is that why you said you where going to curse me?” He turned his head to look at Nini who looked like a dear in headlights.

“W-“

“Nini...” Snurra turned her head to Nini and chocked up en eyebrow. “Did you threaten to curse the little man?” 

“...Maybe.” Nini answered, absentmindedly playing with her tail. “It was just a glow in the dark curse though...” she pouted “it wasn’t like it was going to kill him.”

“Oh!” Snurra said in a happy tone, “Then I guess sis would be happy to hear about this little incident.”

“No don’t!” Nini dramatically fell too her knees. Edda flinched a bit at it as doing that on a pile of logs did not look very comfortable. “She would lecture me for days!!! And force me to eat the same oatmeal that grandpa eats, that you know tastes boring and yucky!” 

“I have no sympathy for you, small prisoner,” Snurra snickered. 

Edda looked from the child, to her aunt, and then to Arthur, who looked just as lost for words as her. 

“I mean,” Edda started, keeping her eye on Arthur as she spoke. “It’s not like the curse would have worked in the first place, since both of us are wearing protection charms...”

“So no harm, no foul.” Arthur finished, seemingly have caught on what she was hinting at and agreeing with it. “M’lady here was already protecting me from any extra curses going my way.” He gestured broadly with his hand and shot Edda one of his stupid grins, making her snort at him.

“Wait! What do you mean ‘protective charm’?” Nini said shooting up from her knees, seemingly forgetting about what she was doing a second prior, and furrowing her brows in confusion. “And why would it stop me from cursing that tattle tail?!” She pointed at Arthur.

“Oh,” said Snurra, raising her eyebrow a bit. “I guess your mom hasn’t told you about those yet. They’re small charms that protects humans from getting harmed by magical creatures.”

“No small charm can stop me! My mom is great at magic and so am I!” Nini turned towards Arthur and raised her hand.

The hand started to glow.

And then she was forcefully ejected out of the cart, landing with a distant thud on the fields of grass that was surrounding the road.

The cart stopped as everyone turned to look over where Nini had been thrown, and after a beat of silence, Snurra burst into roaring laughter. 

She dropped the reigns and leaned against the cart as she wheezed.

“Did you see how she flew!?” She almost started coughing from her laughter. “Incredible!”

The absolute mortified feeling that had filled Edda as Nini had launched off, was replaced by confusion as she looked at Snurra doubling over in laughter. Wasn’t she at all angry that her niece had been blasted off?

She voiced her confusion, making Snurra look up at her, and shake her head, letting out a few more strings of laughter as she did.

“Don’t worry Miss magician, that girl can handle getting thrown a few yards just fine. One of her favorite things to do as a toddler was to get a giant to chuck her over a whole town so she could look down at it from above, and move really fast.” She waved dismissingly with her hand and shot her a bright grin.

“As a toddler?!” Arthur asked in disbelief.

“Yeah, she called it ‘up fwast’,” Snurra snickered, straightened up her back and let out a loud sigh. “Either way, I better go get her before she realises that she can make a run for it into the grass. Keep a look on the cart while I’m gone.”

And so she walked off towards Nini, quickly picking up her pace as Nini’s distant figure started moving. Leaving Edda and Arthur alone in the cart.

There was a small silence as Edda looked down on Arthur in her lap, who looked back at her with a expression showing that he was still thinking about toddler Nini being thrown by a giant. Strangely enough something about his expression seemed to make her stomach clench just a little bit. She ignored it.

“...So, how are you liking the ride so far? Not every day you get to catch a ride with a troll.” She said, trying her best to start up a conversation.

Arthur’s head shot up to look at her and after a few seconds of just looking at her he gave her a small grin.

“It’s different!” He said “But not in a bad way!” He held his hands up defensively.

She laughed slightly.

“Don’t worry, I get it.” From what she had gathered about him so far it did seem that getting a ride from a magical creature, of which he before had admitted to have fought with, was something entirely new to him. She was happy that he at least seemed to be taking in the experience well enough. “I’ve never done this as well, it’s a new experience for both of us.”

“So getting rides from trolls isn’t something usual around here?” He asked, looking just a bit surprised.

“I mean, maybe it is,” she shrugged. “I’ve spend most of my time staying put at home. I’ve only really traveled like once before about, two years ago.” After she settled down by the town she had found herself really liking, she only really walked far enough needed to pick herbs, which usually ended up being not to far. 

“Why did you travel back then?” He asked, curiosity shining in his sweet eyes, as he leaned against her just a bit, moving his legs so they were on each side of her.

“Oh.” She took a pause to think of how she could explain it without revealing anything. “I guess I just wanted to see the rest of the kingdom.” She shrugged. “Also...” she started, unsure of she really should say anything more. “I kinda wanted get my first taste of independence, which I kinda got from travelling. Just me and my surroundings.”

“Wait! You traveled alone?” Surprise and worry shot through his eyes. 

“I didn’t exactly have anyone to travel with at the time.” She said with a shrug. Sort of hard to have anyone to travel with when you were trying to distance yourself from every person you ever knew. 

“But,” He started. “It’s dangerous to travel alone, right?”

“I didn’t see that stop you, mr adventurer.” She snarked playfully, lightly pressing her index finger against the tip of his nose. She couldn’t help but laugh a little at the surprised look on his face as she did so. “Besides,” she lifted her finger away from his nose, barely noticing him lifting his hand up to his face as she did. “I did already know how to act in order to stay safe out here, so I was hardly rushing out unprepared.”

“But, what about that water monster?” Arthur leaned towards her in urgency. “I was barley able to save you back there. If you had been there alone then-“

“I wouldn’t have gone close to the moving water in the first place, and I didn’t.” She put her hand on his cheek this time, focusing her gaze on his eyebrows, as she found it strangely hard to look into his big shiny eyes without feeling that tightness in her chest again. “Going to flowing water alone is generally a bad idea, and I knew that two years ago as well. The only reason I went to the river yesterday is because you where there with me.”

“...Oh.” He uttered softly, and in the corner of her eye she could see the happy crinkle around his eyes. 

Her heartbeat started increasing again. Oh no. 

“Also, it was two years ago and I’m still here in the flesh, so don’t be such a worry wart.” She grinned, moving her hand to softly push against his shoulder, hoping that her cheeks hadn’t yet gotten any visible colour. 

Arthur laughed softly.

“Your right m’lady, what’s important is that your safe now.” He smiled brightly at her. “A bit pointless of me to worry about that whole thing in the first place.” He chuckled, looking a little embarrassed.

Edda laughed with him, though half of it was in an attempt to distract herself from her still steadily increasing heartbeat. She closed her eyes in laughter, only to be reminded by his physical presence even more as the weight on her lap immediately increased.

“Oh, I’m sorry M’lady.”

Edda snapped her eyes opened again as Arthur started shifting his weight on her lap, he looked up at her with a slightly apologetic look.

He said something to her that she couldn’t register, as her mind was stuck, on the feeling of his breath just grazing her face and his body leaning against hers. Why was she stuck on this? She had hugged the man just a few minutes ago, which, yes, had made her slightly tingly, but nothing like how she felt now.

Not only was these weird emotions horrid to experience, but they also just had to be so weirdly inconsistent to!!!

“Edda? Are you ok?” Arthur’s words finally reached her. 

Had she just been staring into space for a few seconds? Shit.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” She said, grinning what she hoped was a normal looking grin. “Don’t worry about it.” 

Arthur looked slightly sceptical, but then he shrugged and smiled back at her. 

“If you say so Edda.”

And so they just sat there for a few minutes, Eddas heartbeat slowly and steadily slowing down as she finished the potion she had been working on.

As she sealed the bottle, and put it back into her bag, she looked up towards where Snurra had gone to fetch Nini, but it didn’t seem like she and Nini was coming back to them anytime soon.

“Man it’s sure is taking them a while huh?”

Arthur seemed to shift in her lap, probably to look where she was looking.

“Huh, yeah. You think-“ he cut himself of mid sentence, making Edda look down at him as he squinted his eyes. “Is that? The little troll lass’s pouch?” 

He pointed at the grass by the roadside, whereupon, like he said, Nini’s small pouch, in which she had stored the glass pearls she had shown them before, laid. A few of the precious pearls had rolled out of the pouch onto the grass.

“Looks like it. It must have fell off when she was thrown of the cart.” Edda said, still feeling just a bit guilty over that. “I should probably pick that up, it would be a shame if she lost all those-“

“There’s no need for that M’lady!” Arthur said as he scrambled out of her lap to stand up besides her. “I’ll retrieve the little bag!” He gestured towards his chest proudly, grinning his, at this point, signature stupid grin at her. 

“Uh, alright then?” She said, a little confused, but still willing to roll with his strange little whims.

His smile widened and he immediately jumped out of the cart towards the pouch.

“Make sure you pick up the ones that fell out of the bag as well,” she said as she started looking through her bag for her notebook, remembering that she still had things she wanted to do with the explosion spells she had been working on yesterday evening.  

“I will!” Arthur answered. 

There was a short beat of silence as Edda flipped through her notebook for the correct page, the spells she had done yesterday was fully functional ones, or so she hoped, she had yet to try them out. They would need to have the channeling spells added too them to be able to be safely tested after all. That was probably the next step she would have to take with them, she thought to herself as her hand grazed over the runes for the channeling spell that she had written down by the explosion spell.

“Hey, Edda?” Arthur’s voice shook her out of her thoughts. “The inside of a bag usually don’t glow right?”

She looked over at Arthur, who has holding up the pouch for her to see that, yes, the inside of the bag did appear to have a faint glow. Returning the notebook to her bag, she leaned over the edge of the cart.

“Maybe she enchanted it? She did say she was practicing magic.” Edda said, admittedly pretty intrigued by the pouch, but knowing better to not get caught ogling an item that belonged to a magical creature. “Either way, you should probably still bring it back up here.” 

“Of course,” Arthur said with a small laugh, properly closing the pouch as he did. “Should i pick some plants for you while I’m already down here?”

“Oh, sure! But only of you’re ok with it.” She felt somewhat guilty over the idea of forcing him to do something like that. It was stupid since he had been the one to bring it up in the first place, but that didn’t stop the feeling from being there.

“It would be my pleasure, my fair lady.” He said with a stupid grin and a slight bow. 

She snickered a bit, pushing down the feeling of warmth in her chest.

“If you say so,” she leaned forward to softy tap his nose again. “My mighty Knight.”

His eyes seemed to shine even brighter as he grinned wider.

That strange feeling blossomed up again, so she adverted her eyes from his and started looking for any useful plants that he could pick up. 

“Oh! There’s some John’s wort over there!” She pointed at the yellow flower that she just spotted. 

“On it!” Arthur declared, rushing up to the plant and moving to pick it up.

“Wait!” She shouted, as she went to pull out her knife and held it out to him by the blade. “Use this to remove it!”

“Oh, right.” He said, reaching up to, in an oddly gentle way, accept the knife from her. She tried to ignore how his fingers softy grazed hers as he did.

Then he quickly started to amass a small bundle of plants as he eagerly picked up whatever plant Edda would point out. There was a few Frog leaves, some John’s wort, one blood root that was growing oddly close to the road and even a Northern bedstraw. 

Edda wasn’t the only one looking around, Arthur would occasionally point out a flower he recognised or ask if a flower he didn’t recognise was useful. Which she would happily talk to him about.

“Does that one do anything?” He said, gesturing at a small peach coloured flower that stood a bit further in the grass.

She had to squint a bit to properly make the flower out, but then she recognised it.

“Oh yeah! That’s a Frog's-stomach!” She had to stop and laugh slightly at the look of surprise and shock that crossed over Arthur’s face as he heard the name. “It’s good at soothing burns.”

“...Why would it be called Frog’s-stomach if that’s what it does?” He looked at her with a pained and confused expression.

“If you think that’s weird, it’s also used for ‘love divination’, which I like to think makes the name, infinitely more odder... and fantastic.” She snickered, leaning against the edge of the cart.

“Love divination?” He said, his face lighting up in... Wonder?

“Uhh, yeah.” She straightened up a little. “You’re supposed to take two of them and hang them over the bed while you sleep. If when you wake up the two flowers are turned towards each other, then your love is reciprocated, but if they are turned away from each other, then it’s not.” 

 “Sound like I can’t do it with only one of them then...” he muttered as he looked at the flower, making Edda slightly confused, what was he talking about? He turned his head to look at her again.“Have you ever tried it before Edda?”

“Nah,” she said, somewhat uncomfortable “Never been in love, so I’ve never seen a reason to use it like that. I’ve just used it for burns.”

“Oh...” he said, in an odd, conflicted, tone that she couldn’t quite place.

Edda felt a oncoming uncomfortable silence and acted quickly.

“Either way you can pick it-“”Do you want me to pick it-“

They both quickly shut up, realising that they had spoken over each other. She shot him an awkward smile as she did a “go ahead” gesture, he responded with a nod and a similarly awkward smile.

She watched as he carefully, but somewhat clumsily, removed the flower from the ground. Moving as if he was scared of tarnishing the knife he was holding. Even as she watched him doing something so mundane, she still felt the odd warm feeling in her chest, it somehow never having left the entire time as she had happily bantered with him over the flowers.

“I think that’s enough plants for now.” she said, as he added the Frog’s-stomach to the bundle. “Thanks for taking the time to pick some, by the way, I was a bit worried about missing out on them since we’re not, you know, traveling on foot right now.”

“I thought so.” Arthur said with a soft smile, “You always seemed so excited about these plants, so it would have been a damn shame if you were robbed of the opportunity to pick them this time.” 

“I wouldn’t put it quite that dramatically,” she said, snickering at his words. Still, his thoughtfulness was, touching. He really was quite the sweetheart.

He laughed lightly with her and then walked up to the cart to dramatically present the plants to her, almost like a bouquet. 

“Your herbs, M’lady.” 

A ridiculous sweetheart, she thought to herself as she accepted the plants from his hand, once again trying to ignore the fluttering in her chest as his knuckles ran against her palm when he released the plants to her. 

“Again, thanks, but,” she smiled at him. “Aren’t you forgetting something?”

His strange half lidded look was replaced by one of realisation. 

“Oh, right!” He smiled sheepishly at her, handling over both the bag and her knife. 

She couldn’t help but let out a soft laugh as she took the items. The bag was safely put on the spot that Nini had previously claimed for herself, and she’d managed to not awkwardly touch his fingers as she took he knife back. She fumbled with trying to sheath the knife with one hand, not yet having put away the plants. 

She heard a small grunt and the sound of the cart creaking as she finally got the knife in it’s place, and turned to see Arthur suddenly sitting just a few inches away from her again. She jumped a bit in surprise.

“Oh! Sorry Edda, I didn’t mean to startle you!” 

“It’s fine!” She waved her hands at him as she regained her bearings. “I see that you got back up by yourself, I was thinking that I was going to help you up.” 

“Oh.” He said, his eyes widening, “I can jump back down again if you want.” He looked at the edge of the cart and then at her.

“You don’t need to do that.” She laughed and nudged his shoulder with her fist. 

They spent a little while sorting and putting the plants in her bag, the frogleaves going into the container with all the rest frogleaves and the John’s worths being bound together with the other John’s worths and so on. It was just as Arthur closed the frogleaf bottle one final time and handed it over to her as the sound of grass crunching reached their ears. 

They both looked up to see Snurra just stepping out of the grass, holding a sour looking Nini by the hand. 

“-I’m sure we can get you some new ones if we can’t find them.” Snurra said to Nini.

“But I wan’t my old ones back, they’re special!” Nini whined, throwing her gaze all over the grass as if looking for something. 

Oh right.

Edda, putting the frogleaf bottle back into her bag, was just about to say something before Arthur moved to snatch up the purse from where she had laid it on the cart.

“Hey little miss! You dropped this before!” He held up the purse so she could see it.

Nini gasped, rushed towards the cart and with an impressive jump got herself up in front of Arthur, who stumbled back in surprise.

“Where did you find it? I looked all over the field but I couldn’t see it anywhere?” Her eyes shone in excited happiness as she made grabby hands at the pouch.

“You had dropped it just by the side of the road, so Arthur spotted it and went to pick it up.” Edda explained, feeling the happiness Nini was beaming out infect her.

“Really!!!???” Nini bounced in place.

“Yeah,” Arthur chuckled pleasantly, dropping the pouch into Nini’s waiting hands. “Some of the pearls had fallen out, but I’m pretty certain I managed to pic em all up.” 

“Oh! Let me check.” She almost tore open the bag and then after poking around in it for a few seconds, her face broke out into the biggest grin Edda had ever seen. “They’re all there!”

“Good to hea-“ Arthur was cut off as he was pulled into a bear hug by Nini.

“Thank you mister Tattle tale! Maybe the crone lady was right about you!” She said, lifting him off the ground.

“No problem,” Arthur squeaked, but then his eyebrows furrowed, “Right about what? Also don’t call h-“

“You are good!” She said, giving him a final squeeze before dropping him back down on the cart. 

“Oh,” He said, wobbling a little bit, prompting Edda to move to steady him by his shoulder. His hand immediately shot up to touch hers, his mouth formed into a dumbfounded ‘o’. “Thank you?”

“No prob!” Nini grinned a toothy grin before turning around and plopping down on her designated spot on the cart, all her interest returning back to the pearls.

Arthur turned to Edda and his shining eyes met hers, his shocked face morphing into a wide grin. Making her heart almost jump out of her chest at the sight.

“Well,” Snurra clapped her hands together loudly, startling Edda, just a bit. “Now that that’s all over, how about we continue forward? The day’s still young, but I did say we would be there around midday.”

And so the ride finally started up again, with Arthur sitting himself down by Edda, eventually starting to tell some of his adventuring tales to fill the silence. Edda listened to him as she returned to her rune spells, enjoying the pleasant sound of his voice and starting to carve the channeling spell into the sticks she had carved the explosion spells on before. 

“-so I grabbed the evil wizards staff out of his hands and snapped it in half, breaking the curse he had set on the land in the process.” He said, sounding pretty proud of himself.

“What! Didn’t you say it was an oak staff or something!” Nini exclaimed, having become enraptured by Arthur’s stories. “That’s hard for humans to break with their bare hands, right aunty?”

“Well, I’m sure there are some humans capable of doing something like that.” Snurra said with a small chuckle. “Remember that story the skogsrå of Tråtappa woods told of the human she met that could bend steel with their bare hands?”

“Ohhhhh right.”

“Yeah,” Arthur agreed, his eyes catching Eddas as she glanced up from her work for a moment. He grinned one of his dumb grins at her and flexed his arm muscles. “These bad boys are fully capable of breaking evil objects, as well as for protecting lovely, and smart, maidens.”

Edda just breathed heavily trough her nose at him before returning her eyes to her carving. He sure was fond of saying stuff like that, she guessed it was a cultural thing she hadn’t quite grasped, it wasn’t like he was actually flirting with her or anything.

“...You’re weird.” Nini bluntly stated, prompting some stuttering from Arthur, and pleasant laughter from Snurra. And Edda, she was just restraining herself, opting to snicker a bit into her fist. Nini wasn’t exactly wrong in her assessment.

“H-hey, didn’t you just say I was good a few minutes ago?” Arthur sputtered out. 

“Yeah? You can be both. And you are both.” Nini said with a tone of faux authority. 

Arthur attempted to say something to that but quickly seemed to admit defeat. Looking up from her work again, Edda saw him crossing his arms while looking lost thought. She couldn’t help snicker a little at him again, but then she moved out her hand to pat his shoulder in support.

“Nothing wrong with being a bit weird.” She said, immediately feeling warmth in her face as he looked up at her with his big shiny eyes. She turned her gaze back to her work in a hurry, but she wasn’t quick enough to miss the sweet smile he gave her.

“So, what happened next!?” Nini shouted impatiently.

“Huh?” Arthur said in a confused voice, before he seemed to remember what he had been talking about before. “Oh right! Uh... So after I broke the staff, with my bare hands, and the curse from the land was lifted, we went to make sure the princess was unharmed...”

Edda zoned out, she was not in a mood to hear about princesses at the moment, the memory of yesterday still fresh in her mind. She didn’t like to think about him wanting to ‘save’ Harriet. 

She shook her head and tried to focus back on her carving. One problem at the time, just make sure that he doesn’t find out and deal with the possible problems of him trying to find her when it comes up. 

The final rune came out a little bit crooked, but Edda was pretty sure it would still work just fine, now she just had to carve the channeling spell on something else that didn’t have an explosion spell on it.  

Ah, shit, she hadn’t brought any uncarved sticks with her... Maybe she had something else on her that she could carve it on? She rummaged in her bag, the pleasant sound of Arthur talking still somewhat reaching her ears, but not enough for her to really hear what he was saying. Her rummaging was fruitless and she found herself feeling slightly guilty for not listening to what Arthur was talking about, he always seemed to pay attention to what she was talking about after all...

Edda sighed as she dropped the enchanted sticks back into her bag, and shook her head in an attempt to zone back in to the present, she could probably figure out the final part of the channeling spell later, maybe she could find something of use in Bergeleva.

“-and so I carried the princess back to her family, safe and sound.” Arthur concluded, looking quite proud of himself. 

Edda had to physically stop herself from flinching, man hearing that out of, whatever, the context for it was, did not work well with the awful twisting feeling that was already stewing in her body. She had to remind herself that he wasn’t talking about her, and that she was going to be, just, fine so long she doesn’t let anything slip. She looked away from him and tried to steady her breaths.

A warm hand was on her arm.

“Miss Edda, are you feeling alright?” Arthur said, his voice thick with concern.

Looking at him, she couldn’t help but feel some sort of tightening I her chest, his sweet worry for her well being, his shiny wonderful eyes... Warmth spreading from where he was touching her on the arm...

He tilted his head to the side. 

Oh no, why was her hearth pounding. Wait, she was staring, why was she staring!? He asked her a question, she needed to answer it! 

She tore her gaze away from him and looked to the road.

“Y-yeah, I’m fine, just, remembered, a bad memory.” She staggered through the sentence.

“Hey,” Snurra suddenly spoke up, seemingly stopping Arthur from just saying something. “Speaking of princesses, there sure is a lot of fuzz about princess Harriet nowadays.”

Oh no.

-

Arthur blinked a few times at the mention of the missing princess, especially at how nonchalantly it had been brought up, not to mention this was the first time in a while she was referred to as something else besides “the princess” or “the missing princess”. That did not however distract him from noticing the way Edda seemed to tense up at the mention of her.

“Yeah,” Nini flopped back against the logs, “That’s why there’s so many new people around right? Mom said that they where looking for her right?” There was a very short pause of a few seconds. “Is that why you are here Mister?” She looked at Arthur.

“Oh, yeah.” Arthur said, only half of his attention on the two others, as he gently rubbed Edda’s arms, who was clearly uncomfortable, though it seemed like she was trying to hide it by giving him a strained smile as he tried to comfort her.

“You know,” Snurra started, “I’m pretty sure the royal family hasn’t gotten involved in the search yet, isn’t that sort of strange? Couldn’t they just send out one of those metal animals the prince had been making to find her?”

Arthur had to do a double take, his hand movement stopping, the prince’s what now?

“Like Prince Gustav would ever care enough about her to use them.” Edda scoffed.

Arthur looked at her in surprise, did she really think so little about royalty that she thought the prince didn’t care about his own sister? He voiced his confusion to her.

Snurra laughed lightly.

“The little mans got a point, that’s quite the bold accusation to level on the prince, don’t you think?”

“Hey, look!” Edda sputtered, looking just a bit unsure. “That family didn’t say shit about her being away from the castle until everyone started making a big deal about it. That sounds a lot like them not caring about her.” She turned to Arthur. “You talked about it when we met remember?”

He nodded, he had said that. And it was still a thing he found to be somewhat strange, two years was a pretty long time for a princess to be gone without a single word. Though now when he thought about it it was also pretty odd that it took so long for the people outside of the royal family to notice the absence of a princess.

He didn’t think about that more however as he noticed Edda starting to pull her legs into herself, hugging them, much like she had done that morning. He scooted himself a bit closer to her, moving so both his hands was on her arm. 

“Maybe she didn’t want to be found,” Nini pondered out loud, ”maybe she thought it was boring to be a princess.” 

“Boring?” Arthur said a bit caught off guard, looking over at Nini, “why would she think it was boring?” Sure, it was a lot of work and occasionally a lot of pressure and maybe even sometimes it involved having some pretty dull meetings, but being royalty was in his experience far from boring. 

“You can’t run in mud and get dirty when you’re a princess.” Nini said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. 

“Wha...” Arthur started, but stopped as Edda bursted out in near to cackling laughter, throwing her head back with her hand on her face.

“S-Sorry” she croaked out in between her wheezing, her lips spread out in a happy grin as she tried to contain herself. “It’s just-“ She let out a small belt of laughter again. “Oh man, I’m tearing up.” 

Arthur didn’t exactly get why she was laughing so hard, but that didn’t matter. Her squinted eyes shone in the light, as she shakily tried to dry the tears for her eyes with the back of her hand, and as her gaze meet his he could feel his heart beating faster. She looked downright divine. He barely noticed how his arms went slack at the sight.

Edda leaned onto Arthur, putting her, now free, arm over his shoulders. Taking deep breathes, her laughter slowly subsided. 

“Oh,” she breathed out “I’m sorry, that got way out of hand.” She shook her head, her dark brown locks shining in the sunlight, and looked up towards Nini, shooting her a finger gun. “Absolutely love your priorities though.” 

“Whoa,” Nini said in awe. “You even laugh like a crone.”

What? 

“Hmm, yeah, I can definitely hear it.” Snurra hummed In agreement.

“She doesn’t sound like a witch!” He said, tearing his gaze away from Edda to look at Nini.

“Come on! That was almost a perfect witch laugh!” Nini said, putting her first against her sides defiantly.

“Her sounding ‘almost’ like a witch doesn’t mean she actually so-“ he cut himself off as he felt Edda remove the arm she had over his shoulder, moving up from him as she did, and put her hand on his head, petting him.

“Nah, she’s got a point, it does sort of sound like a witch cackle.” Edda grinned. “Plus, hardly the first time I’ve gotten that, sort of surprised that you’ve yet to point it out to be honest.”

“I wouldn’t say that to you!” He said, frankly shocked that she even thought that. “Your laugh is, unique, but I think it’s wonderful.” 

Edda’s grin softened, her hand moving from the top of his head to his cheek.

“I wouldn’t have held anything against you if you said I sounded like a witch, but,” the side of her lips twitched a bit in silent laughter. “Thank you for the flattery I guess.” 

Her rough yet soft hand moved gently against his cheek, and he couldn’t help leaning into it, embracing the affection she was giving him. 

“Anytime, M’lady.” He managed to mumble out.

The moment lasted only for a few seconds, Nini seemingly having become bored of seeing them just gaze at each other, which honestly, he probably couldn’t be to mad about. She was a child after all, and there was plenty of children that he had met before that couldn’t care less about romance.

“Sooooo, What was you doing with the knife and sticks before?” She asked Edda.

“Oh, I was just making some spells I saw in a book a while back,” she said, moving her hand away from his cheek. “It’s nothing big really just a thing I’m messing around with for fun.” 

“Some spells?” Both he and Nini said in unison. He had assumed she had been doing something magical, but he had sort of thought it was some other sort of charm or something like that, not a spell.

“Yeah,” she snapped her fingers and gasped slightly. “Maybe sort of like those talismans you mentioned your friend used!”

“Oh?” He said, he wasn’t sure how accurate that comparison was, but he trusted her that it made sense.

“Can I see?” Nini asked curiously.

“Sure!” Edda started digging trough her bag. “Oh, for the love of, I just put them in here.” She mumbled under her breath as her digging intensified. 

As she dug she lifted a few things up from the bag, maybe in hopes of getting a better view of the inside of it. As she did so Nini suddenly gasped.

“Is that Red Water Lilly?!!!” She scooted up to stare in awe at the, strangely still somewhat fresh looking, flower. 

“Huh? Oh yeah it is.” Edda grinned. “Cool right?”

“Cool?” Arthur asked, it was no doubt a pretty looking flower, but cool wasn’t exactly the word he would use to describe it. Plus there was something, off, about it. Maybe because of how it had just appeared on his sword when he had swung at that water creature.

“Yeah! Cool!” Edda turned to Arthur, “You know the story behind this flower? They say that Näcken once was in love with a young woman, but she refused to be with him, so he took a knife and killed her. And it was her blood that turned Lilies like this one red.” She held the flower up to the sky, studying it.

The story did nothing but turn Arthur’s stomach, if he couldn’t hate that water creature more, and for such a dark and horrible story to be behind such a beautiful flower...

“Yeah! And they’re super hard to get too! Because that meanie head keeps hogging them all to himself!” Nini said with a huff.

“They sure are,” Snurra said, “I once tried to get some for my fiancée, nearly had to fight to the death with him in order to get one.” She snickered a bit. “You could say it was worth it though, not only for the look on her face when I gave it to her, but also considering she then could use it as a bartering tool for when one of her friends almost drowned.”

Oh? Fighting for a flower that your loved one wishes to have? Arthur could definitely respect that.

“I remember that!” Nini said excitedly, and then turned back to Edda. “So how did you get it!?” 

“I think Arthur could explain it better than me,” Edda said my her lips stretched out into a crooked smile as she returned the flower into the bag, seemingly to continue digging trough it. “Considering my eyes were closed as it all happened.

Arthur happily explained how it happened to an enraptured Nini, who seemed very excited about him trying to swipe at the creature with his sword.

“So cool!” She said, shaking her first in front of her.

He couldn’t help feeling his chest swell with pride, just a little bit, at the sight. Remembering the praise he had gotten from Edda about it before. 

Then the conversation moved on as Edda finally found the sticks she had been digging after, leading to her explaining how they worked. Nini happily butting in with ideas for how she could continue with her work on them.

“Why not carve the spell into the non metal part of your dagger? It is wood?” 

Edda cocked her head to the side in though, a small smile forming on her face.

“It is wood...”

“Alright, we have arrived to our destination!” Snurra announced before anything more on the topic could be said, and she was right. In front of them was the opening to a bustling town, with a sign in front of it reading “Bergeleva”.

“Oh! Well I guess it’s here we part ways.” Edda said, bagging her things and starting to move to the edge of the cart to climb down. “Thank you for the ride!” 

“Yes! Thank you miss Snurra!” Arthur said before he started rushing to get off the cart before Edda, not wanting to miss his chance to help her down. 

“The pleasure has been all mine,” Snurra said with a laugh. “Hey Nini wasn’t there something you wanted to do?”

Arthur offered his arms up to Edda as she moved to climb down.

“You don’t have to do that,” she smiled over her shoulder at him as she heaved her body over the edge. “I don’t wanna dirty your hands with my shoes.” He felt a little disappointed as she dropped down beside him, but that disappointment swiftly disappeared as she smiled down at him and brushed his hair with her hand.

“Thanks for the offer though.”

Arthur sighed and moved to kiss her hand once more, but was interrupted by Nini running up to the two of them.

“I got you something! As thanks!” She said.

Edda raised and eyebrow.

“As thanks for what?”

“For hanging out with me. And making it less boring! Snurra is sooooooo boring all the time, but you two being there made it much more fun!” She grinned at them, then she deflated a bit. “Also, I was kinda mean to you Mister, so...” She held her hand out towards him, one of her glass pearls resting on it, it was blue and was on a thin strip of leather, making it sort of like a necklace. “Thank you... and sorry.”

Arthur hesitated for a second, looking to Edda for what he should do, she simply gestured for him to take it. So he did.

“Thank you, Little Miss Nini.” He said, bowing, just in case.

“I wanna help you with the curse, but I can only do one spell good yet.” She said sheepishly.

“Ah, that’s fine,” he smiled at the child, “I’m sure Miss Edda will have it fixed soon enough.” Be it through her knowledge of magic or... another way.

“Yeah! That’s why I got this!” She stuck her hand in her pocket and pulled out a fistful of hair, which she then presented to Edda. “I got this from my brush! You can make magic with troll hair right!”

Wait, why was she keeping old hair from her hairbrush in her pocket? 

Arthur glanced up to Edda, only to see a look of awe and wonder spread across her face.

“I- I can.” She said, slowly lifting her hand up. “Is- can I really take this? Is that ok?”

“Sure!” Nini said with a grin holding up the hair-bunch to Eddas shaking hand. “Snurra said it was fine if I gave this away!”

Edda and Arthur looked up to Snurra, who just gave them a thumbs up.

Edda accepted the troll hair with a broad excited grin on her face, the look of wonder never leaving her eyes. Arthur once again found himself transfixed.

“Thank you Nini!”

If this was how she reacted to some old troll hair, then he wondered how she would react if he got her something off a dragon, considering how rare they apparently were around here... 

Yeah, he was definitely going to get her something off a dragon when he returned to his princely form. 

Maybe some teeth. She seemed like someone who would like some teeth.

#red shoes and the 7 dwarfs #red shoes and the seven dwarfs #fanfiction #fanfic #wayward #Edda

[trying-write-fanfics]

Hitoshi Shinso X Reader part 24

Y/n didn’t come to school for a few more days. She was on her retreat, so Shinso’s avoidance was kinda pointless. He still didn’t practice his quirk control because he’s afraid to ask someone to practice his quit on someone. 

Sonny and Benny went to the gym with class A. They were mostly just lifting weights and cardio. He never seen them really train their quirks, but then again that’s probably what their hero teachers are for. 

The door opened to reveal Y/n in casual clothes. She held Benny’s workout bag. There was a clear reason why she came, to drop off something of her friends. Shinso still didn’t even know what to say to her. ‘Hey how have you been, last time I saw you you were getting harassed.’ 

Sadly/luckily someone else caught her attention. Bakugo had ran up to her. 

“Where have you been, dumbass? Avoiding a rematch?” He asked her hitting her shoulder. 

No one was really expecting that from Bakugo. They couldn’t tell if he wanted to see her or smack her. Shinso looked around and couldn’t find Benny or Sonny anywhere. 

“I was on a training retreat.” She told Bakugo, but her voice didn’t seem right.

“Are you gonna fight me or what?” Bakugo asked. “I’ve been making new moves.”

“I-I guess we can.” She said putting the bag down. 

Shinsou zeroed in on her hands and saw them shaking. Bakugo and Y/n went outside to the front of the gym. He knew something wasn’t right. Through the glass he was able to see the beginning of the fight. They got in their stances and then charged. Bakugo aimed for her head, but she was able to duck quickly. However it was a trap. With his other hand. Bakugo grabbed her wrist which was covering her face. The look in her eyes was the same terrified look she had, she wasn’t prepared. Bakugo couldn’t see it, he just thought he was winning. He let the explosion go off and threw her into the cement. Shinso rushed outside. Y/n was on her side, her limbs vibrating. Her arm covered her face.

“What? Get up. You can’t be going easy on me. You dodged that last time.” Bakugo said, walking towards her. 

Aizawa also came out of the gym after hearing explosions. It was a quick patch up of the story looking at the scene. 

“What were you doing?” Aizawa asked Bakugo, getting time the girl’s side.

“I asked her to a rematch. She can’t be hurt, last time she-“

Bakugo stopped as he saw Aizawa lift her arm up. The skin on her wrist was scorched. Her eyes were tight shut and tears were pouring out on her cheeks. Her teeth were clenched. 

“(Last name), can you hear me? Can you get up.” Aizawa asked. 

She nodded her head, but her facial expression remained the same. Shinso got to her side.

“Let me help.” He said. 

“I don’t understand she was fine-“

“Bakugo now is not the time!” Aizawa growled. 

Getting tossed into the cement didn’t help his case. She hissed in pain as Shinso tried to peel her off the sidewalk. 

“I’m fine!” She cried, still her eyes sealed shut.

Shinso remembered why she wanted to hold on to the strong act. If anything goes wrong she would probably lose all hope of becoming a hero. Bakugo got tired of how this gentle act was going to take forever. So he took her by the arms and pulled her to her feel. She winced, but didn’t complain.

“I’m gonna call recovery girl, get her to the gym’s back office.” Aizawa said.

Shinso and Bakugo went under her arms and dragged her without making a scene. Y/n probably didn’t even know who was helping her since she kept her eyes shut. They sat her on the couch in the back office.

“What happened! I’ve seen you do way better than this?” Bakugo asked crossing his arms. 

“That’s what matters right now?” Shinso growled.

The muffled sobs stopped their bickering. Y/n covered her face with her hands trying to be as silent as she could, but both males were trying to listen for a response from.

“Let me look at it.” Bakugo said, reaching for her burnt wrist. 

“Bakugo, you’ve done enough.” Shinso said. 

“I’m fine….”she whispered out a sob.

 This only irritated Bakugo. Now she was lying to him? He grabbed her arms and took them out of her face.

“You’re clearly not! Look I’m-“ bakugo yelled.

Shinso went to try and pull Bakugo off Y/n, but the door slammed opened. It was Sonny. She saw the teary face of her (nickname) and her expression harden. Benny stood behind her.

“Out! Now!” Sonny yelled.

“You’re not the-“ bakugou yelled.

“Did I stutter?” She took bakugou by the shirt “you too Shinso!” She barked. 

They didn’t remember being on the other side of the door, but there were, with Benny who was eating a protein bar. 

“What the fuck!” Bakugo groaned.

“She got all mama bear on you two.” Benny said. “What happened?”

“Bakugo hurt Y/n.” Shinso hissed at the blond. 

“She agreed to a rematch.”

“Jesus Christ. She’s only been home for probably like a half hour.” Benny sighed. “Listen next time don’t challenge her after she used her quirk for a long time. She can’t think straight and she’s always gonna say yes because she wants to prove herself.” Benny said. 

“That’s her fault for agreeing.” Bakugo argued. 

“Put someone else’s need first for once. She doesn’t exactly have the most stable path to becoming a hero! You already have name recognition and a school with endless resources to help you succeed.” Benny said. “Everyone is trying to talk her out of being a hero so she can just be some miracle healer at a hospital. Every wrong step, every loss, feels like a sign to give up,  but guess what she’s still trying.”

Bakugo looked away and sighed. It wasn’t that he believed she ddI t have what it takes to be a hero, it was that he didn’t know how to talk to her. She wanted to show off her quirk to him and even sparred with him. What’s he do? Blast her into the ground. 

“She’ll forgive so don’t pout too much. She  had a lot of patiences, but if you use too much, I’ll make you blast your own face off.” Benny said. “What were you doing Shinso?”

“I was just worried about her.”‘ Shinso said. “Her hands were shaking.”

Aizawa came back but not with recovery girl.

“I couldn’t get ahold of recovery girl, but there’s a first aid kit in there.” Aizawa said.

“Can it deal with burns?” Benny asked.

“Yeah, it’s part of the training to become a teacher here.” Aizawa explained. 

Aizawa went into the room to find Sonny comforting her friend. The short glimpse Shinso got gave him an image of Y/n with her face in her friend’s lap as she pats her hair. 

He wasn’t special. The only reason why she called him that night verse Sonny, Benny, and Bakugo was because the first two would get there in time and Bakugo would be asleep. She called Shinsou knowing he would be awake and nearby. If anyone saved her, she would share the bed and cuddle whoever. Not because of anything wrong, but that was who she was. She needed affection. She needed to be told things would be okay with a head pat. 

“Where’s thst healer that works here?” Sonny asked.

“Probably in bed.” Aizawa said. “I can help though.”

“She’s gonna scat.” Sonny said.

“Even if recovery girl made it, (last name) would scar anyway.”

“I’m fine, really.” Y/n said, clearly in pain. 

Aizawa already knew the situation she was in. It was why he tried getting her to UA in the first place, but after the first year he would never be able to prove UA was a safe school. He was also to figure out the nature of Y/n’s quirk with her around more. It wasn’t exactly a healer’s quirk, but rather a body manipulation quirk or a cell manipulation quirk. Healers can only close wounds or at best fix broken bones. The hospital’s board thinks soon Y/n will be able to get rid of tumors. It’s not terrible, but it’s too much pressure on a high school student. He did have a selfish reason for wanting her to become a hero, a quirk like hers on the battle field would be able to help more accidents. If she could heal heros, they wouldn’t take up medical staff at hospitals. 

“Just relax.” Aizawa told the girl as he began cleaning the burn wound. 

Sonny held her ex’s free hand as she choked on the pain.  Sonny sighed knowing a scolding was hopeless. Her friend had always been insecure about her fighting abilities, even when she was catching up she couldn’t use her quirk to defend herself. She’d have a to take up a weapon or a fighting style, which both she has done. But it was hard for her to watch how effortlessly her friends can harm another with their brute force. Benny using his gravity quirk to sink his opponents to the ground, while Sonny could just light them on fire. If a punch isn’t hard enough or a kick isn’t swift enough against someone rally strong, Y/n would be done for. So she improved her mobility in order to dodge attacks and tire out her opponents, but she was still relying on her teammates to finish the job. It was stupid to accept every chance to fight, but then again she was fried from her retreat so she wasn’t thinking clearly. 

“You need to give yourself a break, (nickname)” Sonny commented. “No school, no work,  no training and maybe you’ll figure yourself out some more. Learn what you need to.”

“I’d fall behind if I did that.” Y/n said.

“You won’t be useful to your friends if you exhaust your quirk though.” Aizawa said.

“Oh are you apart of girl talk now?” Sonny asked.

“(Last name) shouldn’t have to drop everything, but she does deserve a break. You’ve been healing a lot of heroes I heard.” Aizawa said.

“Oh yeah, I forgot about that.” Sonny said. “Trying to increase your overall endurance?”

Y/n nodded. Destroy the body’s pushing it to the limits to have it regrow into a stronger vessel. She was always told she was perfect by so many strangers, job, schooling, training, a perfect balance. But honestly she was afraid to relax and let go. Even on her off time she feels like she’s never doing enough and she’s running out of time. Her act was going to be up soon and everyone will know she’s a fraud faking under pressure. 

“Recovery Girl offered to mentor you. If you don’t mind me prying, why didn’t you take it?” Aizawa asked.

Over a year ago, Y/n revived her recommendation to UA, something she was not planning. A lot of heros were her family’s clients. They met the young girl, surprised by her healing quirk. Her parents weren’t exactly happy someone went behind their back trying to get Y/n to become a hero. It was a steadier deal to become a doctor/healer. However they still made her tour the school where she met Eraserhead. Sure he looked weird, was kinda stiff, but he tried to get her to consider instead of telling her she didn’t have the heart. Then she met recovery girl, the kindest, wisest woman. Having similar quirks, she offered immediately to mentor Y/n. Y/n’s initial reaction was to reject it, she didn’t want to grow up too fast. She didn’t want things to change even though they already were. Her friends were going to different schools, people wanted her to spend her time healing more people!  Recovery girl said the offer still stands.

Weeks went on and Y/n felt like an idiot. Her friends weren’t picking their schools because of Y/n so why should she pick her future around her friends? The answer was she was scared. She was scared she wasn’t the healer the world thought she was. She just didn’t want to be looked at or seen the way she’d always been. 

“You’re so rotten.”

It was how she fell for Sonny. They’d been close for so many years. Sonny was one of the first to get into fights with Y/n and call her out for her timid flaws. She was commanding and demanding. If she didn’t get what she wanted then she fought for it. Y/n was utterly shocked how her friend was just so different from her. But she also feared Sonny was the only one real with her. People wanted a healer so the world could be a little less painful. They would say anything to make Y/n feel confident in herself, even if it was a lie. But Sonny told her the first thoughts that came into her mind. There was no filter, there was no concern for altering the future. 

“If you have people using you for your healing powers just let them suffer, honestly, you’re not a god Y/n.”

She wasn’t the sweetest most nurturing person in the world, but her words would lift some pressure off Y/n’s shoulders. They started working out together. When jogging and boxing Y/n felt more of the pressure release. She was moving, moving for herself and on her own. While working out she was able to discover more about her own thoughts. She hated waiting for someone to heal, it’s like a slab of meat being thrown in front of you being told to fix it. She’d rather hunt for it, heal because she would feel the need to, not because it was thrown into her face. But that’s how she learned she could heal in more ways than one, so it wasn’t totally useless. 

“You’re bad person, but not because of your complicated feelings toward your quirk, but because you refuse to acknowledge what you do to those around you.”

Y/n had always been “nice”. Maybe even “guibile” and “doll-like”. She’d do anything to lessen another’s pain and would do anything told to her. Because she was losing herself in other’s commands, she didn’t feel much, but they sure did. If she would have just said “no” instead of falling in line to a steward way of life she wouldn’t break so many hearts, confused why she cared so much about their happiness to only not love them back. She only cared because they didn’t know her quirk and they asked for her. 

“I felt like the hospital needed me more.” She lied. 

Aizawa accepted the answer, even though he knew she was lying. She wasn’t one of his students, but he knew her enough. He wouldn’t take it personally, already knowing the pressure she’d be under with such a blessing of a quirk. 

Benny and Sonny took Y/n home. It’s been awhile since all three were together, like old times. No dating drama came up either. She looked at Sonny. Sonny has some hurtful things I’ve the years, but also some of the most special lines. Maybe they were losing meaning(l, but Y/n decided that it would be best to let it go, the idea Sonny would love her forever whether Y/n wanted her or not. Those lines would have special places in her heart, but also wanted Sonny to find happiness even if it wasn’t Y/n. Because it wouldn’t be fair now that her heart was beating for someone new.

Aizawa basically gave Bakugo the don’t let your ego get too big. Context matters when it comes to challenging someone. He also gave Shinso a scolding that he needed to trust his gut more to stop things form getting bad. Y/n would be fine, but she would have a scar from the last battle. 

Both male students went up to their dorm in silence. All Shinso wanted to do was protect Y/n from any sort of pain, and he just watched Bakugo blow her up even though he knew it wasn’t right. He just remembers her hand twitching. Shinso opened his door and sighed. He looked over and Bakugo. He slammed his door loudly. He heard a muffled scream covered by the walls.

At least he didn’t mess up as bad as Bakugo.

#hitoshi shinso x reader #hitoshi shinsou #shinsou hitoshi #shinso hitoshi x reader #xreader #bnha #bnha x reader #bnha fanfiction #series

[initiumseries]

CAOS Part 3 - review

Uh, okay, so I think by now, we all know this show is terrible. Netflix gives showrunners a lot of creative freedom, and I think, for better writers, you could get some really interesting content, but they just seem to keep giving these assholes who wrote the travesty called Riverdale, so many opportunities to make more shitty television, and I feel like they really deserve to be limited in their ability to create/write if not stopped completely and thrown into a well with Julie Plec.  Anyway, I’ll try to break this down as best as I can into different piles of shit and this will contain spoilers:

Characters

Prudence and Ambrose

So, to be really honest, I watch this show exclusively for Prudence and Ambrose. Because, well, look at them: 

I wish they had more chemistry because they are super hot together, and I still ship it. A young Black couple? On TV? In this sea of shitty interracial relationships? I’ll take it. Anyway, of course, the progression of their relationship is ridiculous and frustrating. Ambrose decides at the last minute, not to kill Father Blackwood because he has a weird time egg thing that they don’t really understand, also he has the twins under some weird mind control for no clear reason, so they stay their hands. It doesn’t make sense, but it becomes clear, Father Blackwood has an insane amount of plot armour and ultimately would have to serve as a vessel for Satan. Father Blackwood uses the manipulated mind of the other weird sister to sic her on the coven, and she ends up killing Dorkus, whom Prudence finds. She then blames Ambrose for not allowing her to kill FB, and they break up. Now...this would kinda make sense, if not for the fact that they trapped one of the pagan witches and forced her to change everyone back, but no one bothered to do anything about the mentally ill witch who you all strapped up for a reason? Lol ok. Seems like an oversight on your part Prudence, but...okay. Clearly manufactured breakups are exhausting, especially since [young] Black couples with no serious relationship dysfunction are now an endangered species. It’s also frustrating because we barely got to see them....*be* together, especially after they returned home. 

Nick & Sabrina

So, I know from the beginning, we were supposed to believe that Nick and Sabrina had that kind of, Bad Guy, seduces the girl Good Girl, luring her into the dark side, hot, intense, passionate relationship. But their lack of chemistry and really shitty acting just made them really dry (which I get into here). I don’t believe them, and I definitely don’t believe that Sabrina would, once again, break a shit ton of rules to get Nick back. I just don’t buy that they had that kind of an intense, desperately in love, kind relationship, because they do not look all that comfortable around each other, much less in love. 

I personally find Sabrina utterly unlikeable as a main character, largely because who IS she? She has no personality, she just does whatever the plot needs her to do in the moment, and the actress makes Sabrina appear smug and unremorseful while she fucks up everyone’s lives. There is a lot of exposition of everyone telling us she’s this power hungry, manipulative character, but we never see that. She just does stuff and everyone is all “Sabrina how could you?!” and there are never, ever any consequences. I would have liked to see her push so hard to get Nick back and the struggle being, sure she wants him back, but mostly she’s doing it because she can. But that’s not what happens. 

So Nick ends up in this weird drug addiction, alcohol, sex demon spiral because he has parts of Satan still in him and it all just falls so flat and lame, because this show is SO bad at pacing, and these actors suck, so nothing is believable. The idea of him scrubbing his club foot, having nightmares, suffering PTSD, is fine, the execution was trash. Nick sees Caliban and Sabrina have one interaction and he’s like WELL, GUESS I GOTTA CHEAT. And just ends up in some S&M situation with sex demons and heavily self medicating, but none of this has any weight, and we don’t really see him...spiralling. He just immediately resorts to these things and it has no real impact on anyone or even him really, and that’s it. 

Harvey and Roz

Uh, they’re probably the most confusing match here, because there is no lead up to their relationship, there’s not suggestion, there’s no pacing. Just BOOM, we’re into each other now. BOOM, Roz is the only sexually active person in her friend group (lol of course the Black girl is sexually active. Gotta maintain white innocence at all costs), so she’s just ready to jump Harvey’s bones any second now. So of course, the show punishes her by having the pagans turn her to stone. And as if that’s not bad enough...

Which I talk about here and here, because honestly I’m just sick of this show’s antiblackness.  Theo & that other guy

So I was watching this unfold like, yeeaahh, they’re gonna make the trans guy get with the enemy aren’t they? And yes, they did. Cool, they didn’t kill him off, but I’m still perplexed at how Theo isn’t even a little upset that this guy was basically sent to infiltrate his friend group and sat by while his people harmed Theo’s friends, and also...used him? Like...we just...are gonna...gloss over that because he changed his mind? Lol ok. Sure.

Mambo Marie and suddenly Zelda?

I...I mean her name is Mambo Marie. I love the idea of Black witches finding Black spirituality and magicks through Vodun and a Hatian Priestess. But they quickly undo that, by ensuring that Mambo Marie only teaches Prudence in the presence of these white witches. And we see her...doing...an African drum circle (eye roll), only to be interrupted by the High Priestess of White Feminism, Zelda Spellman. It quickly devolves into thinly veiled racism where Zelda doesn’t trust Marie because she’s Catholic (says the woman who worships Satan, has an anti Pope and prays to Lilith with the same prayer for Mary mother of Jesus? LOL. Not even unpacking the fact that Vodun is an African spirituality having 0 roots in catholicism WHITE WRITERS). Then suddenly, out of nowhere, Marie and Zelda are a thing for no reason? After the way Zelda treated her? Why did Marie even stay? This isn’t her problem. This is a white witch problem. Okay. That’s too much to unpack. 

Plot

So, my biggest problem with almost all Netflix English programming is that they are so obsessed with aesthetics, and don’t pay enough attention to actual character chemistry, plot, story flow, details, pacing etc. Like...things that actually make stories interesting to watch. So they slap all these people together and throw them into aesthetically pleasing backgrounds, shake it up with so much exposition that nothing actually happens, and are like BEHOLD A STORY. And CAOS is *especially* guilty for this.

First of all those musical breaks were annoying as fuck. Musicals serve 2 story functions: advancing the plot or telling a story. These musical numbers did neither and were honestly ridiculously gratuitous, highly annoying and totally pointless.

What time of year is this? Why are we having pep rallies and how the fuck and when did Sabrina and Roz join the cheeleading squad, and why?

for the aesthetics and not for any real plot reason. It just seems stupid because now I don’t know how much time has passed between Nick going to hell and this, because you’re all handling it like it’s been a few weeks and is still relatively fresh, but suddenly, Theo, Harvey and Roz are in a garage band? You’re a cheerleader? For what? Since when? Why? These choices introduce more questions than they answer and serve no narrative purpose. So much wasted time on shit that doesn’t matter. 

Sabrina is supposed to be fighting Caliban (who is literally the only person she has chemistry with on this show and they killed him bc ofc they did), for her seat on the throne, and yet the trials only seem to come up when it’s convenient, and also seem to be directly related to her dealings with her coven, which is also convenient.  I’m so confused about Satan. His powers come from being a celestial being, and so, because his coven mistreats him he’s like...lol okay, well fuck you guys and goes through all these convoluted small motions to greatly inconvenience them and withdraws his powers? This is so petty and pathetic. Also, what’s the point? He could just wipe them out and start over, instead of skulking around inside FB then suddenly decides to track down Lilith. Again, convoluted. This plot is all over the place. Why does Satan need Sabrina to be Queen of Hell in the first place? He seems perfectly healthy. Why can’t he just rule it? Like...that makes no sense. What is he gonna do? Retire? WHAT is going ON?

How did Sabrina come back in time to herself stuck in stone? Is that trip to Pontius Pilate (lol) supposed to have created a loophole for her to save herself and everyone? This is giving me hardcore Twilight Breaking Dawn vibes, where, the show finally, FINALLY gets interesting, there’s real stakes, shit is actually happening instead of everyone talking about things happening (Hilda ending up killing her fiance was literally the only time I felt something watching this show because it was genuinely sad, and well acted, and Hilda coming through with that doll at the end was pretty disturbing, I’ll give them that), and ofc, Sabrina goes back in time and undoes it all. Lol. Okay. God forbid there be real consequences to anything on this show.

Final thoughts

Once again, the white feminism runs high on this show. They treat this Black Vodun Priestess Marie, like garbage, allude to her “foreign” magic, but Marie is sitting here like “we’re not men, we’re women, let’s work together.” This is why I hate white writers writing for Black characters. Black characters should have Black motivations, and a Black Vodun Priestess, should know that white women and Black women do not have aligned motivations just because they share a gender. Once they started with the bullshit right from her arrival, she should have handed Prudence her card and peaced tf out. Instead she tolerates the isolation, ostracization and thinly veiled racism...and decides to stay, and help. WHY? Marie has gained nothing by sticking around helping these ungrateful ass witches. I honestly would have preferred Prudence asking her to stay to learn more about Vodun, and them building a mentor/mentee type of relationship, especially since Prudence was the one who invited her and stepped to Zelda to defend her. I want(ed) to see that relationship go somewhere. The deliberate denial of healthy Black female friendships on tv is frustrating.

 These witches finally finding their power in their ancestors and I donno, some female creator or whatever, reminds me of white women “finding” wicca and praying to “Gaia”, (reminds me of BTVS s4 when Willow joins the wicca group) which is basically what happened but lol okay whatever. I guess they aren’t satanic witches anymore. Lol, I love how Harvey and Roz and Theo are teenagers, human teenagers, who have lead largely normal teenage lives up until this point, but see their loved ones tortured, deformed or murdered in hell, with basically no residual issues, and are all like, YES, let’s roll up on these adults with shotguns and swords and kill the FUCK outta these people!! That absolutely sounds normal! Like...what? Lol. God this is just so bad.

Also, I’m so confused by this aesthetic choice for Sabrina as Queen of Hell. Like what the fuck. Why is she dressed like a Victorian era queen, with shoulder and a broken rib bodice? What?!

This show is truly awful, this season made no more sense than the last two and now that Prudence and Ambrose aren’t together, I might be done watching. 

-20/10

#caos season 3 #caos part 3 #caos prudence #prudence x ambrose #prudence night #ambrose spellman #the chilling tales of sabrina #sabrina spellman #caos spoilers #long post #caos review #rosalind walker #mambo marie #zelda spellman #hilda spellman #harvey kinkle #theo putnam

[ultravioletsoul]

Can you rank your fave CoD antagonists?

Hello there nonny, sorry for taking so long to reply and thank you for your ask ♥♥

Rank my favorite CoD antagonists? Sure, I can do that! There are several antagonists in the series, but I’ll only rank my top 3. Hope that is okay with you c:

3. Jonathan Irons

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Advanced Warfare may not be a series as popular as BO or MW, but I actually enjoyed the game and I also liked Irons. Honestly, I don’t think we’ve gotten that many antagonists that started out as our allies in CoD (at least I don’t remember any others atm), much any less an American antagonist, so that kinda made him stand out to me.

I’m not familiar with Kevin Spacey’s works, and I barely watched any trailers pre-release. So to see Irons go from someone who I believed genuinely wanted to make the world a better place, where every human being could live in peace and thrive, away from the pointless wars that governments waged, to someone who was willing to use any means necessary to achieve his goals, regardless of how many lives he had to sacrifice... well, that was something that hit me hard.

This man who gave my character a second chance, who treated me (Mitchell) as his son, who cleaned up after the colossal mess that others countries made, helped people from devastated war-zones rebuild their lives and gave them hope for the future, turned out to be someone I was forced to betray because of different viewpoints and philosophies. Despite everything, I think Irons had his heart in the right place, but his methods were ultimately terrible and in his messianic delusions he ended up doing more harm than good, so of course he had to be stopped.

And what I liked about him was that he didn’t start out as a bad man, he didn’t do all those things because of greed, and his characterization wasn’t that of a cartoonish villain. In a way I could find logic in his arguments, he made a few good points about the current state of the world and the inability (or indifference) of many politicians to solve the real problems of the people. But the root of it all lies in the loss of his son, his only child, to a government he no longer trusted nor had any faith in doing what was right. Despite having served in the military in his youth, Irons had grown disillusioned at the way the US handled domestic and international policy, and strongly disagreed with them— opposing the status quo in favor of change. 

One could argue that serving in the military was entirely Will’s choice all along, and as a grown adult he knew what he was getting himself into. Still Irons couldn’t help but think that if that war had never happened, Will would still be alive. So that left him with a bitter taste, and it served as the catalyst behind his actions.

If nobody else would bother to do anything to actually solve the world’s problems, then he would be the savior to do it— whether they liked it or not. And he didn’t care what methods he had to use, how many had to die, or if he had to plunge the world into total chaos before he could ultimately end all wars and bring everlasting “peace” (perhaps one of the greatest ironies) as his dream seemed to be. Even at the cost of such a high price.

I don’t think Irons gets the credit he deserves.

2. Raúl Menéndez

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BO2 is one of my favorite games and Raúl is undoubtedly one of the most memorable antagonists in the series. Much like Irons, his actions were heavily motivated by the loss of a loved one but his life is also one sad story, so it’s no wonder he turned out the way he did. Not to justify him, but it’s not hard to understand what led him to do all those things.

From a very young age, his life was destroyed by the actions of Americans, from the horrors of the dictatorship in Nicaragua (in which the Contras were supported by the US); the crippling and disfigurement of his young sister Josefina, due to the greed of an American owner who burned down a warehouse in order to obtain 11,000$ through insurance fraud. After losing everything during an earthquake, and becoming homeless, Raúl and his father started over by selling drugs, successfully establishing a cartel that was so powerful in Nicaragua that they were equally feared and admired among the people.

But this status and power they had newly acquired concerned the US government, and it wasn't long before they sanctioned an assassination order on Raúl's father and sent the CIA in to kill him. Raúl observed it all, a teenager back then, and managed to escape thanks to his father's training. Though he could do nothing to stop it, nothing to save his father, this event marked him and further embittered him against the US and the West. And the last straw was the unfortunate death of Josefina, at the hands of Woods. He lost his sister, the only living relative he had, and his world fell apart. But if we think about it, Raúl was indirectly responsible for her death too, after the horrible torture he put Woods through in Angola. So the next time Woods saw Raúl he lost his mind and threw the grenade that tragically bounced into Josefina's bedroom and killed her.

So he spent all his life orchestrating a huge plan, a brilliant plan, that would shake the US from the very ground. And he was damn charismatic while executing it, earning the support and approval of billions of people all around the world— even from those who lived in US soil!— to begin a world revolution and end the dominance of capitalist nations that had subjugated other weaker countries, amassing huge riches through market economy and wars for resources, destroying lives and sinking many in poverty. And he also manipulates and pits two superpowers against each other... sending everyone to the brink of another world war, or a second cold war at best.

He wanted revenge on the US for playing with the lives of other people, for taking everything he loved away from him, by making them live in fear and destroying everything they had built. He wanted them to feel the same pain, to suffer the way he did. And he wouldn't rest until he achieved that because he had nothing to lose anymore.

Depending on the outcome, he can get revenge on Woods for Josefina, as well. And though we all like it when the "good" guys prevail and foil the plans of the villain, I think this particular ending had a much deeper and stronger emotional impact. The conversation they have at the end is something I didn't expect. Raúl has come to kill Woods but they're both in a place where the years have beaten them down with the weight of they’ve done and rather than an over the top scene, what we’re given is quite the opposite of that. 

There’s no screaming, no heated argument between them, no dramatic lines. It’s just two old men who had to live with what they’ve done, and who have come to terms with the inevitability of that moment. Raúl slits Woods’s artery with Josefina’s pendant, and then he does something that surprised me: he closes Frank’s eyes, takes him off the wheelchair and lies his body on the bed. Something that is a huge contrast with what he did to Hudson many years ago... the savagery he used when killing him. For Raúl to behave that way with Woods, the man he considered to be his sister’s killer, it raises the question as to whether he still hated Woods after all these years, or maybe deep down he finally acknowledges that his actions (namely torturing Woods and killing his whole team) was the true motive that led to Josefina’s death.

The thing is, Raúl knows that he's to blame for what happened. It's also the reason why he burns himself alive in front of Josefina's grave. It’s because he has to pay for what he's done to her, too, and he chose to do it in probably the most horrible way possible but it didn’t matter to him. Nothing was more painful than living with the knowledge that his sister died because of what he did.

To him Josefina was the true innocent soul, who didn't deserve any of the suffering she went through.

1. Vladimir Makarov

Original gifset

It’s no secret that Vladimir is my most favorite antagonist (and character) in all of Call of Duty.

Though his background and motives weren’t as well developed and explained as those of other antagonists in the series, his untold story (which you won’t find anywhere in the game, though you can deduce if you have a basic idea of the situation before and after the fall of the Soviet Union) perhaps says a lot more about him than one might expect.

There’s not a lot we know about his past other than the meager information that was provided in some loading cutscenes, but it’s reasonable to think that Vladimir wasn’t always the trashbag that we see in the games. He once was a young man with dreams of patriotism, who wanted the best for his country, who loved Russia with his soul, and who would do anything to protect her, because as a soldier that was what he was taught to do. As a soldier, that was his purpose in life and without that reason to drive him on, he had nothing left.

And however vague his backstory may seem to be, it gives you an idea that Vladimir in a way was a victim of a system that imparted a type of soft indoctrination on him, from a very young age (as many states do all around the world in some form or another, even those who hold democratic values), all the way to his education in the military academy and his brutal training in the special forces, that further cemented this undying love for Russia, maybe in a way that bordered brainwashing.

His true radicalization came after the fall of the Soviet Union with the loss of his homeland and the Soviet culture as he knew it, as well as Russia becoming weak and losing much of her power and influence across the world. Then came his deployment in Chechnya in 1994, where he lived the horrors of a war that most likely left him psychologically scarred after the experiences he had to go through. And when he returned home, he was kicked out of the armed forces under accusations of human rights violations during the First Chechen War. And they may be true, he probably did a lot of bad things there (under the illusion that he was serving his country for a higher cause), and sadly it’s something commonplace in many armed conflicts. I’m going to leave this short post here for some details on that.

When he returned from war, he didn’t receive any professional help or if he did, it didn’t work. He didn’t know how to cope, he ultimately was unable to adapt to a normal life, he became a misfit. He had lost his job, he had a stain in his career, and finding a decent way to get by was very difficult at the time when the country was in the middle of a political, social, and economic crisis.

He was in financial ruin, and it was hunger that pushed him to become a criminal (something that wasn’t uncommon for ex military men in 90s Russia). Not just that but also hatred for those in power as well as society as a whole, and what they represented: total decadence and the reason why Russia was falling apart with these “stupid” western conceptions about freedom that in his eyes did nothing but give leeway for debauchery and corruption, which he ultimately sought to “fix” by returning Russia to what it used to be (a god-fearing empire under the autocratic rule of a tsar that was likened to a father to all his subjects, and where religion was used as a resource to legitimize his power and as a moral regulator that maintained the social order).

He pretty much felt abandoned, betrayed by his government— a leadership that had done nothing but sink Russia deeper and deeper into ruin, destroying the values under which he was raised and turning people like him into cynical masses that had lost faith in everything and were adrift without any real purpose in life, no future to look forward to, completely disillusioned that the dreams they’d bought into, the promises they had been sold by the west, were nothing but lies.

He’s still a piece of garbage, we know that, but I also think that he’s gone through a lot of struggles and bad experiences in his youth that marked him and filled him with resentment. Everyone sees Vladimir as the puppet master of the storyline of MW, and we have to give him credit for that, but deep down he’s just a man who has been a slave to his own obsessions and ambitions, unable to free himself from the hatred that has poisoned his mind for years, which led him to commit so many atrocities and strip himself from any semblance of humanity— all for the sake of a higher cause, as he undoubtedly tried to justify his actions at the end of the day.

In conclusion, all three were marked by losses in one way or another, and saw themselves as men who had to take the hard path and do what had to be done. And it’s also curious that Call of Duty, while not a game with any deep meaning on the surface, almost seems like social commentary on how war ruins lives and how anyone can do horrible things if put through the wringer enough times. It’s like these stories are trying to say that bad circumstances can make bad men out of seemingly good people, who wouldn’t have done any of the evil they did if maybe things had been different.

And I think that’s what makes these characters so interesting.

#vladimir makarov #raul menendez #jonathan irons #call of duty #modern warfare #black ops #advanced warfare #i'm really sorry again #it took me a while to write this one! #but it's done at long last c:

[justanotherlifeff]

Levi Ackerman × reader

Genre: Angst, Hurt/comfort, Fluff, matured themes, slowburn

Warning: There's mentions and descriptions of underage rape and suicidal themes and self harm.

Your POV

The 57th expedition is two days from now and to make things worse, Hanji came over. She declared that as it is our only titan shifter's first expedition, we will be drinking tonight to celebrate. Although her motive was to experiment if Eren can get drunk, heichou strictly denied her requests since Eren is underage. I personally didn't want to drink because those men from when I was 5 were always drunk. "Drunk people are bad and dangerous" was a thought that was stuck into my head. Hence, I was planning to avoid their little party at all costs. It was morning at the moment and we were supposed to have breakfast. I made tea for everyone since I woke up before everyone else. I had already memorised how everyone had their tea, 2 spoons of sugar and milk in Oluo, Gunther and Petra's, 1 spoon sugar without any milk in Eld's, 3 spoons in mine and sugarless for Levi heichou. Eren didn't like tea. I had it all memorised because I tend to wake up before everyone else and thus, I always get the breakfast duty. I made pancakes for everyone and when I was done, I poured my tea in a cup and started reading the book. Every day, Levi would wake up early and sit with his own book and tea too. We would discuss the contents of the books when I go to clean his room. We would also share some of our personal issues to eachother and while I don't know how much it helps him, but it helped me ease up quite a but. Just as I was thinking these, he entered the dining hall as usual and took his cup which I had already filled with tea just the way he liked it. Eventually everyone else came around thus making it impossible to read because of the commotion. Hanji started blabbing about her experiments. Yes, she arrived yesterday and stayed the night in a spare room.

After breakfast, it was time for training. Levi heichou was giving me intensive 3DMG training recently since I already passed his strength trainings. We sparred more later, to test how much I had improved my strength and he won most of them due to his immense stamina which was impossible to match but I gave him a hard time though. In case of 3DMG, he decided that I wasn't making enough use of my agility and that I should be able to match his speed and accuracy. I was still learning his spinning move as I couldn't get a hang of that anyway. Today, we were supposed to have our last practice session as most of us will have hangovers the next day. Not me though. I'll just lock myself in mine and Petra's room. I've noticed by time that Petra tried to impress Levi heichou a lot. It kinda pissed me off because who even looks for emotional attachment when they might die anytime? And it's not like heichou was interested in her anyway. That's another thing I liked about him. He was serious about his career. I had always respected determination and I felt like there couldn't be a better mentor than him. However, something about it was bothering me. Levi heichou was making me feel things that I never felt before. It started with the way he looks during our training sessions, no, all the time honestly. I started having these urges to touch those muscles beneath his shirt, that showed slightly when he was sweaty after training, his clean shaven and extremely smooth looking cheeks and that extremely soft and silky looking hair. God knows how it would feel to run my fingers in there... Yes, that's exactly the problem. I shouldn't be thinking these. Things escalated when he convinced me to stop cutting myself, something even my parents couldn't do. It happened a week back.

One week ago

I was cleaning the floor in Levi's room while he was getting his paperwork done. "So, the protagonist is in a situation where he couldn't blame the antagonist as the antagonist had reasons to justify what they did too. It kinda resembles our world doesn’t it? I mean, titans don't have minds so, they can't really control what they are doing..." I was talking to heichou about the book I recently finished. "Hmm. However, one has to do what one needs right? The protagonist killed the antagonist at the end. It didn't matter if the antagonist had justification for what he did. It depends on who wins at the end. If the antagonist did, then the he would've been portrayed as the protagonist." heichou answered, not looking up from his paperworks. "Yeah. It's the weak who always loses." I muttered. "Not always. One can start off as weak but get stronger. That's what smart people who want to live do." Levi answered to that, before stopping for a moment and asking, "You mentioned that you want to live to make things right didn't you? What is the 'right' for you?". " I don't know, happiness? That's my goal." I answered. "Well, that's what we all want. Anyway, what's your plan to achieve that?" he asked. "I don't know, it started with getting strong enough to take care of myself but I don't really have an aim anymore." I answered, acknowledging it for the first time. "If you want happiness so much, why do you cut yourself? As much as I can recall, you told me, you did that to remind yourself that you're alive. If you don't have a plan, why remain alive at all?" he asked me, looking up from his paper works at me, raising an eyebrow. "Well, that's true... I don't know what I'm doing to be honest... Being alive honestly is pointless." I muttered as an answer. It was the truth. I had no reason to live.

"Oi brat, take my advice on this, you're an extremely skilled soldier. You think I am itching to be alive? I have a goal to be happy too and the fastest way towards it is a bullet in my fucking head. But, there's also another way, that is using my strength to do something for humanity, getting this war over for good and opening up a tea shop. My plan in this case is to stay alive and keep fighting. I suggest you to have the same plan. When this war is over if you are still alive, these people you saved will make a way for you. And trust me, cutting yourself won't help you at all because that only limits your agility as, trust me, I've got into enough fights to know how much every single cut hurts. It may not affect your performance by a lot but a mimimum percentage of performance issues can get you killed in expeditions. So I suggest you to stop with that shit and get your priorities straight." heichou advised me with a straight face. "So, you suggest me to try my best to survive? If I can get through this war, then the people will help me make a way?" I asked before pausing for a moment and stating, "I honestly didn't join the survey corps to make some dead people proud of me. I just wanted to die I guess..."."Well then, you're at an advantage both ways. If you die, you get to your goal. If you live, you get to your goal in long term too." he answered.

"Heichou, why did you join the survey corps?" I asked him out of curiosity. "Well, Erwin blackmailed me into it at the begining but later, I decided that my life was meaningless too and decided to do exactly what I advised you to do." he answered. He was right. If I survive, after the war with titans are over and the survey corps are disbanded, I'm sure they will give us all a way to live. However, will I always be alone? What's the point of living like that? No, wait, Uncle Erwin will be there... He's as good as family, so I'll be fine. Atleast as long as he lives. Maybe I'll even consider marriage... There are so many possibilities... Heichou was right. I had to survive or die in combat. Its good both ways. "(Y/N), if you really want to remember that you're alive at times, instead of cutting yourself, remember your interactions with your comrades. I'm sure you made an impact on a lot of them and you wouldn't be able to do that if you weren't alive." Levi ended his statement with that as I was leaving his room after cleaning. "Yes heichou. Thank you for the advice" I answered before leaving. An affect on my comrades, did he mean the way I intimidated them? But doesn't that mean that I'm an emotionless piece of shit? Or was he talking about my conversations with him? Did... Did I make him feel alive? Because, even if I hated to admit it, he made me feel alive. I felt like I didn’t have to hurt myself anymore.

Present day

Levi heichou beat me this time as well after we sparred for 30 minutes. No one lasts that long against him. During the 3DMG session, everything was going well until suddenly captain Levi attacked me. He came out of nowhere and tried to cut me but I instinctively dodged and tried to escape him. I was shocked as I didn't expect something like that. He was as fast as I am in 3DMG and with his special techniques, he was faster. He slashed his blade against me again and to block it I used my own blade but the blade broke. I was scared that he might kill me and that's when he told me that he was testing how well I'd do in unexpected situations and he definitely wasn't satisfied with my skills.

Levi POV

She was pretty good at running away but she used one blade at the wrong angle when I slashed my blade at her. Ofcourse she didnt learn about what angle to use because Shadis didn't know some of the tricks I learnt underground. However I expected her to use two blades. That's just common sense and the fact that she panicked in a situation like this is unacceptable for someone as skilled as her. She has a lot if potential but stupid decisions like that will get her killed. "Do you have a brain of the size of a pea brat? Anyone with common sense would use two blades. Are you trying to get killed in any unexpected circumstance? " I shouted at her. She kept a straight face but I could see the embarrassment in her eyes. Serves her right. "Sorry heichou. It won't happen again" she said with determination. I'm not usually too hard on her because she doesn't disappoint me often so I let it go. I taught her the angles she should use. It would make her blades last longer. She practiced with complete determination but failed to get the spinning move done. Honestly, no one I trained was able to do that, so, I didn’t judge her. However, she wasn't the one to give up. I respected that about her as a mentor. It was time for lunch and Petra already cooked stew. We had lunch and I saw her head upstairs and come down with her 3DMG and blades. "Oi where are you going?" I asked her. "To practice the blade angle and the movements you taught me. I want to be able to get the spinning move perfected." she answered, saluted and left. I didn't expect her to be able to do it.

I went to my office to complete some paperwork and after about 2 hours, I heard the sound of her falling down with a thump and occasionally, frustrated cursing. I went to the window and saw (Y/N) falling on her face every time she tried but getting up to do the same nonetheless. "Damn, this girl will kill herself at this rate." I thought and felt a bit proud about being her mentor. I looked at her graceful moves through the air, which turned into a complete disaster whenever she tried to use the spinning move on the titan dummy. "There must be some problem with her balancing" I thought. I found her beautiful the day I first saw her. "Just another pretty face that's gonna be titan food" I thought. After she sparred with me and sat on my face, I think I blushed for the first time ever in my entire life. I didn't let anyone see though because it's inappropriate. Now that I see her potential and determination, she seems to be more than just another pretty face. She is what I'd call beautiful. I knew she deserved a normal life and yet she chose this uncertain life where death my come and where its impossible to have a family. She is a very brave person. I know some stuff about her past. How she was rescued from a brothel before being sold off in the underground. How she killed a Garrison member but was let out because she was a minor. I was curious about her given that I was from the underground too. As these thoughts plagued my mind, I suddenly understood exactly what was causing the problems with the balancing.

"Oi brat. Get down here." I called (Y/N) out, who was sitting on a tree, about to do the spinning move again. When she got down, I noticed that she got some minor cuts on her face. Atleast her instincts were good enough to make her use her hands to prevent her face from getting hit. "Yes heichou?" she asked, confused. "I have a fair idea about why you can't get that move done. Your body proportions are what's causing this." I told her with a calm voice even if talking about it made me uncomfortable. "I don't understand..." she muttered, clearly confused. "Your breasts are what's causing the issues. My body structure allows me to distribute all my weight at the correct points but as your body structure is different, the distribution gets disoriented as your breasts are the weights that make you slouch forward easily." I explained as calmly as possible. This was awkward. I saw a blush slowly creep upon (Y/N)'s cheeks as she muttered, "But they aren't too big...". " Well, the simplest errors can make it impossible to master this move. I'm not sure if you can do it but try using bandages to bind you chest and make the surface as flat as possible." I answered with a stoic expression, which was very hard to bring given that I have never talked to cadets about their breasts, and the fact that this particular cadet made me want to rip her clothes off didn't help at all. "Hai!" (Y/N) answered before running off towards the castle.

She actually did it. It didn't take any effort at all. I was right about the problems with body proportions. You came back after a while with an almost flat chest. It didn't look comfortable at all because she looked like someone punched her on the face. I, however, was impressed by her determination. And, the fact that she was able to get the spinning move done at one try. Ofcourse, it wasn't perfect, it had many flaws, but, it was an amazing feat as no one else was able to get this done. However, I knew that this wouldn't work well with her because being uncomfortable on an expedition isn't an option. "Oi, get down" I commaded her as she got down from the tree, pleased with herself. "Yes heichou?" she asked. "You won't be using this move. You're not feeling comfortable in bandages and that's as obvious as it can get. Just make use of the speed training we went through." I advised her. "Yes heichou!" she answered and as she was going off towards the castle, I spoke up, "Oi (Y/N)! You did well.". "Thank you heichou" she answered, giving me a rare smile. She really should smile more often.

Your POV

I came back being pleased with myself after getting a rare compliment from Levi heichou. After some very intense and not to mention, painful training for 2 hours 30 minutes that compliment probably was the best gift anyone could possibly ask for. I went back to Petra and my room to find Petra sleeping. I took a shower and went to take a nap. I was asleep but I was woken by feeling someone drag me out of the bed. I woke up and saw Hanji dragging me out. I tried to get out of her grab but Petra and Eren also held me firmly. I could've gotten away from Hanji easily but I couldn't fight with three people grabbing onto me. They brought me downstairs and Levi heichou was there too with a glass of alcohol in his hand. I was shocked to find him here and looked at Hanji and she explained that she dragged heichou out here so that he won't drink alone in his room, in Hanji's words, like a sad excuse of a human. Apparently he drank alone before expeditions. No matter how hard I tried to avoid drinking, Hanji was relentless. I had to drink a few sips of alcohol. As the alcohol started kicking in, Hanji convinced heichou to have a drinking contest. I had to admit that the alcohol made me feel light headed and more confident. I liked the feeling despite the horrible taste which is why I drank a bit more than I planned to. Then I remembered that my body weight was not enough to take it all but my head started spinning by then and I was slipping on and off my consciousness.

Levi POV

Hanji thought that she would win because she was taller but she didn't know about my high alcohol tolerance. After an entire bottle, Hanji was done. It seemed that she had lower alcohol tolerance than I imagined. I had one more glass and I won naturally. I was pretty drunk and thought it's best to go to bed. Before I got up, (Y/N) puked. Everyone was a bit surprised as they didn't notice her taking on two glasses like an idiot. Since no one was sober enough to get her up to her room, I knew I had to do it "Tch! They had to get wasted now." Eren was already sleeping as he wasn't allowed to drink. "Ofcourse she puked. She didn't come down for dinner" I remembered. "Petra, get Eren to clean this mess up. I'm taking her upstairs and you're coming with me to clean her up" I stated with authority to a tipsy Petra. I took her to the bathroom in their room and made her sit on the floor. She was barely conscious. I waited outside for Petra to be done washing and dressing her so that I can pick her and put her to bed. Petra called me when she was done. I picked (Y/N) up and put her to bed while Petra was washing her clothes.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Your past will be explained now. It includes rape and underage sexual acts and, well, some seriously nasty stuff so don't read if it bothers you. Skip to the next chapter in that case.

"Heichou?" she called out weakly before I left. "What brat?" I asked keeping my usual bored face. "The first day we met, didn't you call me a privileged brat? How does it feel to know that the only thing your prostitute mother told you is that you're born to do exactly what she does? How does it feel when those men do things to your mother and all you can do is sit in the room and read a book to pretend nothing is happening? How does it feel when those drunk men touch you, do things that they did to your mother and hurt you like your body is splitting? How does it feel to know that your mother left you to these people and that you'll never see her again? How does it feel to be hit and cut by these men? How does it feel not being given water unless you drink the semen of those people? How does it feel when you gladly do it because you are so thirsty? You don't know anything about the life I had, heichou. When they told me I'm safe after taking me out of that horrible place, I believed them and I regret it because that man I killed wanted to do the same things I went through in that hell. He told me that I shouldn't mind because he assumed I enjoyed these back then. I enjoyed slitting his throat and gauging his eyes out. You knew nothing heichou " she said, her voice cracking as tears left her eyes. I looked at her, shocked by her sudden confession. I had no idea that she still remembered what I told her that day. I had no idea it hurted her feelings to that extent. Besides, as much as I knew, she never said anything about herself to the court or to anyone. As much as I knew, she didn't talk in her court case about murdering that man. She only did it for self defense. I looked at the weeping girl. She was a brave soldier and seeing her break down like that made me feel things I didn’t quite understand. It made me do something that I never did for anyone before. I sat on the edge of her bed, took her hand and said "Now you know how to fight. No one can hurt you now. You can trust yourself and if you want, you can trust me. I'm sorry about my behaviour that day. I shouldn't have judged you without taking a closer look." She gave me a shocked look after I said that. I gave her a small smile, and left the room. This was the first time I smiled after years.

To be continued

Taglist: @kingtamakimurder, @realityisoftendisapointing

#levi aot #levi heichou #levi ackerman #levi x fem!reader #levi×reader #captain levi #aot x reader #aot anime #aot fanfiction #aot #levi ackerman × reader

[disregardcanon]

a few thoughts on attack of the clones after my first adult rewatch 

1. i liked this one less than phantom menace. i think part of that is just because it’s really where the prequels start to get dark, but also because it’s where more of my problems with the writing arise. 

2. this one has less jar-jar, which is good, and him causing a major galactic screw-up which eventually leads to the empire rising, which is good. i liked that 

3. i can’t tell if the dialogue got worse or if it showed worse because attack of the clones tries a lot harder to be serious. 

4. the anakin and obi-wan interactions are hit or miss. sometimes the banter feels right (like obi-wan groaning that he hates when anakin does that after anakin bailed out of a speeder hundreds of feet in the air), but some of it just didn’t feel natural. that’s mainly the fault of the stilted writing, but it’s just not great, especially since they didn’t have a relationship to speak of in the last movie. it’s why the anakin and obi-wan relationship in the movies just falls flat when we get to what is supposed to be a real emotional climax on mustafar. 

however, i LOVE the bar scene. it’s so weird and awkward and i would die for the death sticks scene. 

5. anakin and padme are also hit or miss. when hayden and natalie got to just kinda spread out and be, they are really cute. the shy little smiles that anakin gives padme part of the time when they’re flirting on naboo are just A+, and the music stopping when padme breaks the kiss is actually hilarious. some of it hits well for me, part of it’s awkward, and part of it’s actively creepy. it’s always hard to tell how the narrative wants me to feel about anakin and padme becoming a couple, to be honest. 

6. obi-wan on kamino is perfect. like, ewan mcgregor’s acting shines the best in this movie when he’s awkwardly trying to gather information about what the FUCK is going on there. his tension with jango and boba is great as well. 

7. the palpatine scene with anakin is perfect because it makes me want to kill him. also, anakin talking about how palpatine is GOOD really shows the emotional manipulation going on there, which is important to that part of the narrative. 

8. the settings are gorgeous. naboo is my favorite, but they make great use of coruscant in this one and i think that geonosis is creative and interesting to look at as well. 

9. other than awkward dialogue and stilted interactions, my main problem with attack of the clones is that it doesn’t feel like the middle of something. this is the beginning of a war, the introduction of its conflicts and main players (dooku) and while the clone wars does a fantastic job of showing that war, it’s ramifications, and how we get to revenge of the sith, the movies do not. there should have been a movie in between attack of the clones and revenge of the sith. the clone wars is GREAT and i love it, but a cartoon television show should not be required viewing to make your movie’s pacing feel right. 

i know that part of the message of the prequels is that the clone wars were ultimately pointless and created nothing but suffering for the gain of darth sidious, simply not showing that suffering just. doesn’t work here. there is so much growing that the relationships between anakin and obi wan (which only got this one movie) and anakin and padme (which is ENTIRELY shifted from that first movie). i am not a prequels hater by far, but this is a big gripe of mine. the phantom menace is fun and sets up the chess pieces, but it leaves attack of the clones trying do the job of two movies which just does not work. 

10. boba fett watching mace windu behead his father and then gently cradling his helmet in his hands and holding it to his face in forehead touch almost made me cry. all in all, i love the fetts in this one. we don’t get a lot but it’s all well done. 

11. again, dooku feels forced. it’s not that he’s bad, he’s just not well developed and by the time he dies at the beginning of the next one he feels like an unnecessary character that didn’t really do much. i know he’s being manipulated by sidious like all the rest, but it just feels hollow compared to some of the other stuff, despite the actor being charming. 

12. anakin’s tendency to fix things to comfort himself or to distract himself during uncomfortable situations? in character, a good addition. all in all good stuff. his whole convo with watto was interesting, because the dynamic has completely changed and he’s trying to hold himself back from shouting. 

then, i really do love the scene with shmi. it’s a blatant case of fridging, but hayden’s acting absolutely shines in that. he’s so gentle and scared as his mom strokes his face, and then the rage kicks in and you can just see the switch flip. 

13. one thing that i kind of wish they would have gone into with anakin’s “well, why don’t we do a dictatorship?” would be padme talking about the vote of no confidence and thoughts about how that might have been a bad call. and then anakin could defend palpatine for a second because palpatine likes him, (palpatine believes in him, unlike obi-wan) but then switch tactics to flirting with padme about making her the dictator, because as long as it’s one that they can both trust, what’s the harm? it could have been a cute, but fundamentally tainted interaction. i might try writing that version, actually. 

14. the wedding is still really pretty. like, oh my gosh. the costumes against the lake background, across the stars playing, anakin’s robot hand in padme’s one covered in white lace, artoo and threepio as the witnesses. i- 

#the prequels #sarah watches the prequels #obi-wan kenobi #anakin skywalker #padme amidala #anidala #atotc #sarah watches star wars

[enneagramwingmiranda]

Parks and Recreation: The actual enneagram types of Leslie, Ron, Tom, April, Andy, Donna, Ben, Chris, and Jerry

The Protagonist: Leslie Knope [Type 3]

“I am big enough to admit that I am often inspired by myself.”

Enneagram Wing: 3w2 (Achiever along with a helper)

"I care. I care a lot. It's kinda my thing."

Core Fear: Being exposed as or thought incompetent, inefficient, or worthless; failing to be or appear successful

Core Desire: Having high status and respect, being admired, successful, and valuable

Leslie feels her purpose is to make the world a better place, specifically Pawnee, since this is the place she holds dear to her heart and is the most reachable for her. Her identity is defined by her work and her drive and passion are what allow her to continue to move up the latter. She takes rejection and set backs hard, however, she always gets back up and continues to move forward to reach her goals. Her influence shapes the hearts and minds of her coworkers. She inspires them to be better people and to find what they are meant to do in life and do it. Along with her go-getter attitude, she goes above and beyond for her friends (2) and they greatly appreciate her care and efforts. As for her childhood wound, she has described her mother as cold and withholding so we can only assume that she received praise and attention only from the achievements she made. Her mother also works in government and only respects those with an assertive and dominant presence. 

The Sensible Friend: Ann Perkins [Type 6]

“As Leslie’s maid of honor, I really need her bachelorette party to go well, which is why I’m stress eating gummy penises.”

Enneagram wing: 6w7 (Loyalist along with an enthusiast)

“I’m putting myself out there, meeting some new people, having some causal fun, and it’s awkward.”

Core Fear: Fearing fear itself, being without support, security, or guidance; being blamed, targeted, alone, or physically abandoned

Core Desire: Having security, guidance, and support

Ann is by far the most sensible character. She is the person everyone knows they can rely on. Andy unfortunately took advantage of this quality resulting in her becoming his caretaker rather than remaining an equal. Leslie appreciates her sensibility and this is what makes them such great friends. However, Leslie can trigger Ann’s already existing anxiety from her high expectations and good intentioned pushy behavior. Another side of the coin of is her fear of ending up alone. She is constantly dating and even settles a few times to avoid loneliness. It is when she takes the time to be single and soothes this fear that she and Chris end up together. Ann also has an adventurous streak. She likes to go out and have a good time. She just sometimes needs a little push from Chris, Leslie, or Donna.

The True Introvert: Ron Swanson [Type 5]

“That is a canvas sheet, the most versatile object known to man. It can be used to make tents, backpacks, shoes, stretchers, sails, tarpaulins, and I suppose, in the most dire of circumstances, it can be a surface on which to make art.”

Enneagram wing: 5w4|5w6 (Balanced)

“Don’t start chasing applause and acclaim. That way lies madness.”

Core Fear: Being annihilated, invaded, or not existing; being thought incapable or ignorant; having obligations placed upon you or your energy being completely depleted   

Core Desire: Being capable and competent 

Ron is an intellect, constantly going off on philosophical tangents about the corrupt ways of government, effective life hacks, and flawed human nature. He believes there is only one way to do things and his ways of going about things are very unique to himself (4). He is a non-conformist. He loves learning new things and adding to his craft. He is a breakfast and wood enthusiast. Ron is quite guarded and withdrawn from the world and prefers this. His childhood wound is that his mother was intrusive and over-controlling so we can assume he felt exposed and defenseless. This followed Ron in adulthood as he had many toxic relationships with women similar to her. Thus, Ron feels he is best served to live in isolation and fend for himself, as well as, rely on cerebral means rather than emotional means. Ron demonstrates his wing 6 with his desire to be safe and have security.

The Entrepreneur: Tom Haverford [Type 3]

“At the risk bragging, one of the things I’m best at is riding coattails. Behind every successful man is me, smiling and taking partial credit. 

Enneagram wing: 3w4 (Achiever along with an individualist)

“‘Zerts’ are what I call desserts. ‘Trée-trées’ are entrées. I call sandwiches ‘sammies,’ ‘sandoozles,’ or ‘Adam Sandlers.’ Air conditioners are ‘cool blasterz’ with a ‘z’ — I don’t know where that came from. I call cakes ‘big ol’ cookies.’ I call noodles ‘long-ass rice.’ Fried chicken is ‘fry-fry chicky-chick.’ Chicken parm is ‘chicky-chicky-parm-parm.’ Chicken cacciatore? ‘Chicky-cacc.’ I call eggs ‘pre-birds,’ or ‘future birds.’ Root beer is ‘super water.’ Tortillas are ‘bean blankets.’ And I call forks ‘food rakes.’”

Core Fear: Being exposed as or thought incompetent, inefficient, or worthless; failing to be or appear successful

Core Desire: Having high status and respect, being admired, successful, and valuable

Tom measures his entire worth from his successes and failures. He is extremely creative and is constantly coming up with unique ideas to form a successful business. 

The Misanthrope: April Ludgate [Type 4]

“I wasn’t listening but I strongly disagree.”

Enneagram wing: 4w5 (Individualist along with investigator)

“If you ever speak me to me in Spanish please use the formal “usted”.

Core Fear: Being inadequate, emotionally cut off, plain, mundane, defective, flawed, or insignificant

Core Desire: Being unique, special, and authentic

April portrays major apathy but it’s clearly done to hide her genuine care and insecurity. She wants to be unique and special, thus overdoing it with her quirky, odd, eccentric, nonconformist talk and lifestyle. Her speech and way of behaving is an oxymoron. She deep down wants what everyone else wants: real love, real friendship, and a successful career. As she grows up and matures, she moves further away from her exaggerated dark persona to a normal expressive, mature adult. However, she adds in whatever she needs to to maintain her individuality. April also values cerebral pursuits shown in her getting accepted to an exceptional veterinary school. Her wing 5 is what helps her identify with so much with Ron.

The Charming Goofball: Andy Dwyer [Type 9]

“It’s fine. It’s just that life is pointless and nothing matters and I’m always tired.”

Enneagram wing: 9w8 (Peacemaker along with the challenger)

“I’m not crying. I’m just allergic to jerks!”

Core Fear: Being in conflict, tension, or discord; feeling shut out and overlooked; losing connection and relationship with others 

Core Desire: Having inner stability and peace of mind

The epitome of Andy’s character is his easy-going nature. He is also very caring and thoughtful. He rarely ever voices if anything is bothering him and we see him go through great lengths to end any conflict between he and April. He attempts to make things right with Ann after their break up but doesn’t succeed. Andy possess a child-like mindset and view of the world and this is what seems to serve as a coping skill for the trials and tribulations of life. This also makes him endearing and what makes him perfect for April as she holds a similar mentality. 

The Nerd: Ben Wyatt [Type 1]

“I don’t even have time to tell you how wrong you are. Actually, it’s going to bug me if I don’t.”

Enneagram wing: 1w9 (Reformer along with peacemaker)

“Stick to the list and you’ll do great. I have total faith in you... (there’s like a 30% chance they’ll both die.)”

Core Fear: Being wrong, bad, evil, inappropriate, unredeemable, or corruptible

Core Desire: Having integrity, being good, balanced, accurate, virtuous, and right 

Ben is straightforward and willing to tell the truth, even if it could offend someone. He likes things to be in order. He often feels like the odd one out in the parks department because he values principles and professionalism while his colleagues behave inappropriately. He admires Leslie for her quirky professionalism. Ben also desires a peaceful environment and will keep quiet about things bothering him resulting in passive aggressive behavior.

The Optimist: Chris Traeger [Type 7]

“The world is my gymnasium, Ron.”

Enneagram wing: 7w6 (Enthusiast along with loyalist)

“I am 100% certain that I am 0% sure of what I’m going to do.”

Core Fear: Being deprived, trapped in emotional pain, limited, or bored; missing out on something fun

Core Desire: Being happy, fully satisfied, and content

Chris is extremely positive all the time to cover up his true inner turmoil. He had a tough childhood and coped with the trauma by avoiding the negative emotions and putting his focus on his health. Thus he became a health nut. In the field of clinical psychology, he would most likely be diagnosed with orthorexia. Chris has a lot of anxiety about life and desires to feel a sense of safety in his life and relationships, thus making him fall into the wing 6. He desires the guidance and support from others (he started seeing a counselor 5 times a week during his depressive episode). 

The Minx: Donna Meagle [Type 8]

“You better watch yourself.”

Enneagram wing: 8w7 (Challenger along with enthusiast)

“Treat yourself.”

Core Fear: Being weak, powerless, harmed, controlled, vulnerable, manipulated, and left at the mercy of injustice

Core Desire: Protecting yourself and those in your inner circle

Donna is the epitome of “an independent black woman who don’t need no man.” She essentially dos onto others what she fears they will do onto her.  Thus, she manipulates and abuses vulnerable men to get what she wants and then leaves them. We can assume that something happened in her childhood that resulted in this relationship pattern. She discusses her grandma dying while having a threesome so this behavior was certainly model for her. She falls on the 7 wing for her enjoyment of life's greatest pleasures. 

The Target: Jerry Gergich [Type 9]

“So I go by Terry now. They already had a Larry in the Parks department, and they suggested that they change my name to Terry. I told them my real name was Garry, and they said ‘who cares?’ What a fun bunch of guys.”

Enneagram wing: 9w1 (Peacemaker along with reformer)

“Well, you know it's like I always say 'it ain't government work if you don't have to do it twice.”

Core Fear: Being in conflict, tension, or discord; feeling shut out and overlooked; losing connection and relationship with others

Core Desire: Having inner stability and peace of mind 

Jerry is clearly a peacemaker in that he keeps his mouth shut despite his constant abuse from his colleagues at the parks department. He identifies with Andy in that Tom was trying to dub him as the new office target due to his similar easygoing nature and clumsiness. He shows that he is a wing 1 in his values of goodness and morality.

#parcs and rec #enneatypes #enneagram 3 #enneagram 4 #enneagram 1 #enneagram 5 #enneagram 6 #enneagram 7 #enneagram 8 #enneagram 9 #enneagram types #1w9 #3w2 #3w4 #4w5 #5w4 #5w6 #6w7 #7w6 #8w7 #9w8 #9w1 #parks and recreation #leslie knope #ron swanson #ann perkins #ben wyatt #andy dwyer #april ludgate #tom haverford