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kayxleeee · 3 years

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Bucky Barnes: Normal Days (Bucky Barnes x Reader!)

Warning: NONE! Just civilian Bucky fluff🥺 (I'd die for Buck)

A/N: FIRST OFFICIAL POST WAHOO! If you are here from WP, I love you! Thank you for your constant support. I decided that I will only post my absolute favorites on Tumblr, which will give me more time to actually write new content and not dwell on the fact that everything is deleted! I will be adding a bit more to each one I post from WP (as needed). And if you are new, Hey welcome! Please let me know what you think. xx

Summary: Besides the fact that you were dating an Avenger, you craved normalcy, ironically enough. You always look forward to the days where you can come home to your favorite guy and just be a seemingly normal couple.

Word Count: 909

One of your most favorite things in the whole wide world were the days when you could come home knowing that Bucky would be there too. The normal day’s where he wasn’t away; Not on a mission, not training at the HQ, not with Sam or Steve, but home. It was not always guaranteed, but when it was, it was greatly appreciated, especially since the two of you had just moved into a new apartment together, away from the tower. Today you came home to him just sitting on the couch watching a tv show you started together a few day’s ago on Netflix.

“Hey, you didn’t keep watching without me, did you?!” You call out squinting at the tv while kicking off your shoes and taking the Chinese's takeout to the kitchen, setting it on the counter.

“No, I think I fell asleep on some parts so I was rewatching a few episodes.” He replied pausing the show and following you into the kitchen. “How was work?”

He gives you a quick peck on the lips before he begins to peak into the bags to see what you brought home. “Smells great, I’m starving.” He continues as he pulled out the food containers from the brown paper carry out bags.

You grabbed some plates from the cupboard and two spoons out of the silverware drawer.

“It wasn’t too bad , but glad to be home honestly, with my favorite guy.”

“Who me?” He teases lamely, looking at you then picking up a piece of broccoli from the top of the pile of food and putting it in his mouth. “Damn that’s good!”

“Nah the guy from across the hall.” You giggle. “I’ve literally been craving Chinese food all day.” You continue handing him the utensils to begin serving the content. “Did you get up to anything today?”

“Sleep, that bed is entirely too soft! I always forget. Tv, we have to check out that one show Sam keeps talkin about. Umbrella something? I called Steve, he says hi.” He says this all quickly like a child with excitement in his voice. “Oh and Therapy!” He added seeming as if he almost forget it as he began spooning some of the steamy food onto his plate. “Doc said I’m making progress.” He grins looking at you then taking your plate and piling spoonfuls of rice, chicken, and vegetables on to it.

“Really?!” You smile back at him equally excited. “Thats great news babe!”

With the big move from the Avengers HQ to a small New York apartment, his therapist advised you both to ease into one thing at a time. He had been doing weekly sessions to see how well he was adjusting to modern life on his own. The first thing was him getting use to being in the newly remodeled space, insuring that he would not be triggered by anything or blasted with any dark memories of his past, especially if he was home alone.

“Yup and I think it calls for a celebration.” He winks at you handing you your food.

You let out a laugh and shake your head “Oh really Barnes? Using your milestone as a way to get into my pants?” You laugh taking the plate from him. “Thanks babe.”

“Can’t blame a guy for trying.”

“Mmm how about we kick off our celebration finishing a few episodes of our show.” You nudge him as you walk pass with your food going into the living room. He nods happily and follows close behind.

“Babe.” He whispers in your ear nudging you awake.

After spending hours on the couch watching tv, you ended up dozing off in his arms. You were completely exhausted from your long workday. It was almost completely dark in the living room with the tv now off. The only source of light illuminating the small room, was coming from the glow of the city from the windows.

“Let’s get you in bed.” He continues gently once he sees that you are waking up. “I know you’ve probably got a busy day ahead of you.”

You look at the digital clock on your cable-box, allowing your eyes to adjust. It reads 12:43 am..

“Did I miss anything good?” You reply, referring to the show you fell asleep on.

He kisses the top of your head and helps you get up from your position in his arms. The two of you get up from the comfy couch and head to your bedroom.

“Nope just a little main character death action, but I’m pretty sure the angel guy will bring him back to life.” He chuckles a little walking into the bedroom.

“Hey! No Spoilers.” You say rubbing your tired eyes. “I need to shower before bed.” You add with a yawn as you follow him to your bedroom.

“Sorry dollface, we can rewatch the episodes you missed when you get home.” He smiles at you, knowing he gets another day of just being a normal civilian again. “No worries, I’ll run you a shower.”

And this normalcy is what you sometimes craved on a daily bases. Stupid jokes that made you laugh a little too loud, sweet gestures, falling asleep in each other’s arms, forehead kisses, therapy check ins, and favorite tv shows. This is what you looked forward to and you wouldn’t trade it in for anything in the world.

These were the absolute best days, the normal days.

Thoughts, Comments, or Opinions :)

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beyondspaceandstars · 3 years

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While You Sleep

Chapter 18

Relationship: Bucky Barnes x Reader Warnings: angst Summary: Soulmate!AU - Throughout life, you’re given glimpses of your soulmate through dreams. As you sleep, memories flash in your mind showing you the life your soulmate has lived. Everyone around you raves about how their soulmate reads great books or volunteers in their spare time. But you can’t relate as your dreams end up being more like nightmares. Through initial images of death and violence, you come to learn your soulmate is the Winter Soldier.

A/N: so sorry I’ve been slow with updating Tumblr - my blog was shadowbanned (basically Tumblr hid my blog in searches, notifications, tags, etc.) and it just got fixed so I’m working to update here!

Masterlist | Series Masterlist

“You’re back,” Dr. G smiled as you plopped down in the seat across from her.

You resisted the urge to roll your eyes and instead forced a tight smile. “I’m back,” you confirmed with a dramatic nod for emphasis. You didn’t know why you were feeling so hostile. You had shown up here willingly this time.

Bucky didn’t even know you were seeing your therapist again. But it wasn’t exactly like he was around to find out. He had left for his mission yesterday in the very early morning and you were now on constant edge. You didn’t know what he would encounter. You knew none of it was at your clearance level seeing as you had no government clearance level to begin with but still… You didn’t like that anything that went wrong would come back to you in the depths of your sleep. Even if Bucky had shared everything step-by-step, any mishap was another blow. Even if everything went right, you feared you were bound to see something.

“Would you like to share anything?” Your therapist asked, disrupting your spiraling thoughts. It was like she knew and, well, maybe she did. You really did kind of suck at hiding your emotions. You could practically feel your face darkening with worry.

“Bucky and I learned something about us recently,” you said a bit nervously but Dr. G nodded in encouragement. You tried to steady your breathing and continued, “Our soulmate bond has been disrupted. It happened when he was part of Hydra — I mean, not like part of. That makes it sound like he joined willingly which he absolutely did not—,”

Your therapist said your name sharply, cutting off your words. “I know what you meant,” she said.

You nodded briefly, recomposing yourself, and began again, “While under Hydra, he was brainwashed and in that process, they thought they had rid him of his soulmate. But, turns out, all they were doing was tampering with the transmission lines. This means any sort of trauma or… or really emotional occurrences in Bucky’s life gets passed along to me, intercepting any, well, normal dreams. And there’s nothing we can do about it.”

“Nothing?”

You glanced away. “Well, I’ve asked him to retire to maybe… minimize the damage.”

Dr. G nodded as she scribbled something on her notepad. She let out an interesting hum. “How did Bucky respond to that?”

You fought back the urge to roll your eyes. You weren’t really upset with him, more angered by the situation. “It took him a second to come around to the idea and, sure, eventually he did but then he was given another mission. A mission he couldn’t turn down.”

“And how did that make you feel?”

Another feeling of annoyance flashed across you at the cliche therapist speak but you could also recognize the question for its worth. Someone was actually asking you how you felt about the new, and last, mission. Lord knows Bucky hadn’t.

You bit your lip, feeling tears already threatening to run down your cheeks. “It made me feel bad, to put it simply. I just felt horrible and scared. I know that with time it’ll go away and maybe we’ll find some peace but I’m just really hurt it has to be this way.”

More notes were scribbled. “How did Bucky react to hearing that?” Dr. G asked without looking up. You shifted awkwardly in your seat, fiddling with your fingers out of habit. Your therapist glanced up once her writing has finished. Her brows raised as you struggled to find an answer.

“He doesn’t really know.”

Your therapist placed her pen on her notepad and leaned forward in her chair, eyeing you a bit upsettingly. “Do you remember what I told you during your last session?”

Talking. Talking, talking, talking. Just let it out. How could you forget? That’s exactly what you had done and while it made some kind of progress, you were still stuck at this godforsaken dead end for the time being.

You picked at the chair cushion. “He didn’t ask,” you sighed. “Besides, what good was it going to do? I couldn’t have stopped the mission.”

Dr. G shrugged. “No, I doubt you could’ve, but that’s not the point. The point is you’re hurting and your soulmate needs to know this, especially when it involves him. You can’t beat around the bush or try to sidestep this kind of stuff. Be gentle, yes, but little progress can be made if everything is bottled in.”

“Well, doc, I’m sorry to break it to you, but I’m sure he knows very well how I feel about all of this,” you snapped back. “Think I made myself super clear during our first conversation about retirement.”

“Fine,” she shrugged. “Assume he did. Assume Bucky knew everything that was going through your mind. Did it open any conversation?”

Your shoulders slumped. You looked away.

Dr. G continued, “My point exactly. Of course, you don’t want to hurt him but you can’t hurt yourself in the process. How many people actually knew about the nightmares to begin with?”

“None,” you mumbled. And it was, sadly, the truth. Your coworker was the first to know. You hadn’t even had the guts to tell your parents.

“I’m sure I make it sound easier than it really is but there are some benefits to it over time,” your therapist said after a moment.

You let out a dramatic sigh. “You’re kind of annoying, you know that?”

Your therapist laughed. “You’ve been wanting to bite back for a while, haven’t you?” You didn’t answer. She shrugged. “Already testing out those communication skills I see.”

You let yourself roll your eyes this time.

***

It was nearing midnight when your cell phone rang. You jumped, suddenly disturbed by the ringtone as you laid on your couch watching some sitcom reruns. You frowned in confusion as you stretched to reach your phone on the coffee table. You weren’t expecting any calls.

You turned the screen around and were greeted by one name: Bucky. You just about yelped when it registered he was calling you -- and from his mission, amazingly. You sat up quickly and answered.

“Hi, Buck,” you greeted, hopefully sounding a bit more cheerful than you felt. Your therapy session from the morning still had you a bit shaken.

“Hey, doll,” Bucky responded, his voice a bit hoarse. He sounded exhausted and...defeated.

You sink into the couch. “Is everything going okay?” You guessed it wasn’t too weird he was reaching out while away but something was off in his voice. You thought you had already mentally prepared for the worst.

“For the most part,” he mumbled. “I have to tell you, sweetheart, it wasn’t smooth sailing. We… We all had to do some things we aren’t proud of.”

You shut your eyes, trying to reel in your panicked brain before you said something you’d regret. This couldn’t all fall on Bucky, it wasn’t fair. He had a job, one final job, and you were going to have to accept that.

Regaining your voice, you said, “What… What things, Bucky?”

He fell silent on the other end. All you could hear was some soft breathing and others talking in the background. The rest of the team you could guess. You said his name into the receiver again.

“Just know I didn’t like what I had to do and I can’t wait to put this life behind me.”

If that was all you were getting from him, you’d have to accept it. “Okay,” you said, your voice cracking slightly. “I-I understand.” You didn’t really but you knew after tonight you definitely would.

Bucky took another pause. “You deserve so much better than this.”

“Bucky-,”

“You really do, sweetheart.”

“Bucky, please, listen,” you sighed. “While this isn’t ideal and I was very upset you just jumped on this assignment without speaking to me, I know it won’t be like this forever, right?

“I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you about the assignment before leaving,” Bucky responded. “I-I knew I couldn’t do anything about it but that’s still not fair to you. You deserve to be heard.”

“It’s okay, honey,” you said, fighting back some tears getting ready to start again. “You’re almost done, you’re almost back home.”

Bucky hummed. “I am,” he confirmed. “And when I get back I’m going to make up for all of this, I promise.”

You let out a weak laugh through the tears. “You can make it up to me by getting home safely.”

Bucky was about to say something else but was then cut off by someone yelling at him in the background. He gave a curt response before turning his attention back to you. “Sorry, doll, but I have to go. We have some debriefing to do.”

“Of course,” you said, waving a hand in the air like he could see you. “I’ll see you soon, alright?”

“See you soon, sweetheart,” he said. “Love you.”

The line cut before you had the chance to say the words back. You held your phone out in front of you, staring at your lit homescreen, shocked and overwhelmed. He loved you. And he had said it.

***

You were dreading getting ready to go to sleep but, at the same time, your body was practically begging for it. You were finally getting back into the swing of working and now with therapy sessions on top, you couldn’t believe how exhausting life was. As if you had forgotten at some point.

But with that craved moment of relaxation, an unnerving threat lurked.

You practically moved with caution when it came to your nighttime routine now. You washed your face carefully and precisely. You scrubbed every tooth again and again for a good minute. Even combing out your hair seemed to be tedious.

It was all sad attempts at procrastination and you knew it but what could you do? It wasn’t like you were jumping into bed happily no matter how much your body screamed.

When there was no more to do in your routine, you had to accept it. You had to finally lay down in your bed, let your head hit the pillow, curl up under the duvet, and welcome whatever kind of sleep was going to greet you.

Almost immediately, you were hit with everything.

As always, you’re seeing it in glimpses from Bucky’s eyes, from his mind. In this instance, he appears to be located in some kind of warehouse. It almost reminded you of where you had been taken to but abandoned.

At first, Bucky seems pretty calm and collected. He’s assessing his surroundings and mapping out a plan. He says something to the person next to them. You can’t see them and possibly you don’t want to.

They agree with whatever Bucky has suggested but before their plan can commence, they’re both attacked. Guns blazing, doors busting, a whole goddamn ambush. You’re panicking, you feel Bucky panicking. But it doesn’t last long for him. No, within seconds he’s in destruction mode, stomping towards the pop-up army - you don’t even know what they’re part of - dodging bullets and taking them down one by one.

Some others are helping out it seems but you’re only allowed to be consumed with Bucky’s take on the situation. Despite how much you don’t want to be, especially when he… You see the glint of his metal arm rush past. They’re dying. Being killed. These soldiers or whatever are dropping left and right around him. You feel Bucky’s pulsing anger. He has no plans of slowing down. You feel the tension in his arm as he strangles another and another and another. At one point, he even throws some across the room.

They’re finished. No more men pour in. The rest of the team has stopped. They’re all looking at Bucky, wide-eyed and nervous. You feel his fury turn to shame. You didn’t know the mission’s expectations but you could guess they didn’t exactly involve this much death. No one says anything as they move on.

The images fade but the feelings don’t. You suddenly want to cry in your sleep feeling Bucky’s distraught and embarrassment.

Unable to deal with it anymore, you force yourself awake, everything vanishing as your eyes open. You look around your dark room. The clock beside your bed reads just past three a.m.

You curl back into your blanket and face the wall. You stare at it for the rest of the night, heart pounding and hands shaking.

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extasiswings · 3 years

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How we feeling clowns? Wrecked? Anyway, here, have an episode tag for both the crossover and Buck Begins. Also on ao3.

Eddie’s driving nearly on autopilot, the roads familiar as they get closer and closer to El Paso. Part of him almost wishes he hadn’t taken the driving shift to get them to his childhood home, even if it made the most sense—he can feel the tension in his jaw and shoulders creeping in, curling tighter with every mile they come closer, and his fingers itch for his phone, for the commiserating sympathies of his sisters who understand what he’s likely to walk into much more than Buck or Hen.

Technically they could have skipped the detour. Eddie hadn’t even planned on telling his parents he was coming to Texas at all—it was Christopher who let it slip, and then Eddie had been immediately put on the spot and he hadn’t been able to come up with a good way out of stopping by after his weak deflection that it wasn’t a social trip was met with well, you have to stop and eat somewhere, don’t you.

Sophia told him to lie and say the department said no. But she’s always been much better at lying to their parents outright than he is. Adriana shrugged and said if he didn’t want to go he didn’t need to give them a reason and should just say he wouldn’t be coming. But then, that’s her tactic as well and always has been—putting her foot down to establish hard boundaries, forging her own path and bucking all expectations. Eddie’s always fallen somewhere in the middle, which he supposes is fitting—struggling to set boundaries, often getting there only when pushed, wanting approval but lacking Sophia’s talent for gentle manipulation that usually leads people to think that whatever she wants was their idea.

So. Here he sits. Driving to El Paso.

“Eddie?”

He blinks and clears his throat as he registers Buck’s voice, the edge of concern that says it’s not the first time Buck has called his name.

“Yeah?”

“I was going to ask if you could pass back the aux cord,” Buck says. “But now I think I should ask if you’re okay.”

Eddie glances over his shoulder—Hen is in the back of the truck, head pillowed against the window, dozing with her eyes closed. He swallows.

“It’s been awhile since I’ve seen my parents is all,” he replies. “And usually when they call it’s to talk to Christopher so...it might be uncomfortable.”

Buck’s voice drops. “Have you talked to them since the thing? Other than about this I guess.”

The Thing, also known as the huge fight they got into when Eddie decided that if he was going to keep working he couldn’t live at home for awhile and they tried to once again insist that he take Chris back to live with them. Like some terrible combination of the arguments they had before he moved to LA and after Shannon’s funeral, only even worse because Eddie had been raw enough over the decision to move in with Buck and let his abuela take care of Chris for awhile and really didn’t need to hear anyone tell him that choice made him a bad parent—

Sophia had been spitting mad when he told her and while he doesn’t know what she said in her own subsequent call to their parents, he knows that the next time they called him, the subject didn’t come up again. Which, he supposes is as close to an apology as he’s ever likely to get.

He probably could have used that as an excuse to not visit. But then, that’s not really how they are. Don’t apologize, pretend you don’t hold grudges, act like everything is fine, and repress until it feels like it is—the Diaz family way.

Eddie sighs as he focuses on the road.

“Not really,” he replies. “They’ve called Christopher every few weeks, but we’ve only talked directly...three times maybe since then? Things seem to go south more quickly when we’re in person though so I guess I’m…”

“Bracing for impact,” Buck fills in quietly. “I get that.”

“Yeah?”

Buck shrugs. “I don’t talk about my parents,” he points out. “Don’t talk to them either if I can avoid it because they always have a way of managing to just—anyway. The last time I even called was after everything with Maddie and Doug. Haven’t seen them since...since before I started with the 118 at least. So. Yeah. I get it.”

He hesitates, then adds, “You know I have your back, right? You’re my best friend and you’re an amazing father. I’m not going to let anybody get away with talking badly about you in front of me, even if they are your parents.”

Eddie glances back and manages a faint smile, some of the tension leaving his shoulders.

“I’m glad you’re here,” he admits. “Even if you did try to steal a fire truck in the middle of the night without me.”

Buck laughs and shoves at his shoulder. “At least it wasn’t this truck. Besides—you caught up before I did it anyway.”

“Yeah, my Buck’s about to do something dangerous senses were tingling, couldn’t let that slide,” Eddie teases.

“Just give me the damn aux cord,” Buck shoots back, but he’s grinning.

And as they pass the next exit, Eddie feels like maybe things won’t be quite so bad.

***

Buck hates Eddie’s parents.

It’s not the most charitable thing to think about someone you’ve only just officially met—he saw them at the ceremony when Eddie passed his probationary period, but he’d been on pretty strong painkillers at the time and Maddie had shuffled him back home as soon as possible—but he really does.

He hates the tense, anxious set of Eddie’s shoulders, hates the way his smile looks forced—it triggers the same fierce, protective instinct that rears its head whenever he gets between his parents and Maddie, and, well, he did promise, so—

He really doesn’t feel bad for interrupting the very first digs about how seeing Christopher over video isn’t the same as in person, but it’s nice to have the option and technology really is wonderful, Zoom calls must have been a great improvement from your army days, right son with—

“You know, it is wonderful isn’t it? Did Eddie tell you how amazing Christopher is handling hybrid learning? It’s really so great how his teachers have adapted, I can’t imagine he would have kept up so well anywhere else.”

Buck smiles brightly as Eddie’s mother’s lips thin. Hen coughs and takes a long sip of lemonade. Eddie blinks in surprise from across the table and clears his throat, grasping at the lifeline.

“Yeah, top of his class,” Eddie says.

“He even has a reading group once a week with some of the other kids in his class that Eddie started to help them stay social. I know a lot of the other parents appreciate it,” Buck adds, and Eddie rubs at the back of his neck.

“We definitely do,” Hen says, glancing at Eddie’s father as she clarifies, “I have a son Christopher’s age. They used to play together all the time before all of this.”

“His therapist said kids are resilient, but I wanted to at least try and give him something normal,” Eddie replies, and his mother’s brows raise.

“Christopher is in therapy?” There’s a note in her tone that makes Eddie tense and Buck’s hackles raise.

“I took him to see someone for a few sessions after Shannon died, mom,” Eddie says evenly. After the tsunami, Buck fills in for himself. “It didn’t seem like a bad idea to go back again to make sure he’s okay during a time that’s pretty unprecedented for just about everyone.”

“Really, I think more parents should send their kids to therapy,” Buck interjects. “If it’s a feasible option, I can’t see that it’s anything other than great parenting to make sure your kid has the best tools they can to take care of their mental health.”

God knows if he’d gone to therapy a hell of a lot sooner, he might not be struggling through sessions with Dr. Copeland now that he’s nearly thirty, but that’s not really the point.

“Well, some people feel those sorts of things are best taken care of within the family,” Eddie’s mother replies.

“With all due respect, sometimes the family’s way of handling problems just makes things worse,” Buck replies, his smile dropping briefly before he forces it back again.

“This lemonade really is delicious, Mrs. Diaz,” Hen jumps in as Eddie pushes his chair back and starts collecting empty plates. “I would love to get the recipe before we leave. If you don’t mind.”

Startled, the older woman blinks. “Oh. Yes, of course. I’ll write it down for you.”

Buck pushes back his own chair as Hen continues redirecting the conversation and follows Eddie into the kitchen where he finds his best friend gripping the edge of the sink.

“Hey,” he says quietly.

Eddie looks over his shoulder and exhales heavily. “Hey.”

“Sorry if I overstepped.”

“You didn’t,” Eddie assures. “I’m just...exhausted. And ready to get back on the road and home to my kid.”

He hesitates, then adds, “you know, my sisters would be impressed. I haven’t seen someone manage our parents like that since they left. I—thank you.”

“I meant what I said in the truck, Eddie,” Buck replies. “You’re an amazing father and a great man and—it’s not right that anyone should pretend any different. So. I won’t let them.”

Eddie glances at the hallway. “Guess we have to go back eventually. I didn’t quite think this escape plan through.”

“Once more unto the breach?” Buck offers. The smile he gives Eddie is far different from the fake one he’s had up since they arrived, and when Eddie returns it, a spark returning to his eyes, it makes Buck’s stomach flip and his pulse race.

He tries not to think too hard about that. They still have a long drive ahead of them—plenty of time to save it for later.

“Yeah. Yeah, okay.”

***

When they get home, Eddie barely manages to shower and plug in his phone to charge before falling into bed and immediately going to sleep. When he wakes up, he finally checks his messages and sees several missed calls and texts from his sisters.

So? Sophia asks. How was it?

<em>You were right</em>, Eddie taps out, and then waits. His phone rings a few seconds later.

“I’ll save the I told you so in favor of asking if I should get Adriana on the line for an emergency Diaz sibling parental grievance vent session or if I’ll suffice,” Sophia greets.

“It’s not that serious,” Eddie replies. “I’m okay—a little annoyed still, but...I’m okay.”

He’s not quite sure what compels him to add, “Buck was there. He, uh, he told them off about it a little actually. Politely, but that kind of polite...you know the one.”

“The one that’s basically go fuck yourself with a smile and/or plausible deniability?” Sophia fills in, and Eddie laughs.

“Yeah, that.” He rubs at the back of his neck and leans back in his chair. “It was—he kept pointing out things about what a great dad I am.”

There’s something about the feeling in his gut that he can’t name. Something he wants to poke at, to explore, but that also makes him wary. Like a yellow caution light—it’s not a do not enter but it’s not risk free either—and he’s not sure whether it’s a risk he can take yet.

Sophia is quiet for a moment. Then she says, “You are a great dad, Eddie. In spite of them. I’m glad you have other people in your life who recognize that too. You deserve that. You deserve to trust that you’re good at things, even if mom and dad say you aren’t. You deserve to be happy, so...”

The silence that follows feels weighty.

“What?” Eddie asks.

“Is Buck—?” Sophia cuts herself off. “—nevermind. Hey, the twins are calling, so I’ll call back again later, okay? Love you.”

Is Buck what? Eddie wants to ask. But he swallows it back.

“Love you, too,” he says instead. “Talk to you later.”

As he hangs up and tosses his phone aside, his mind wanders back to that feeling. Right up to the edge of warning lights and caution tape. And Eddie wonders for a moment if he should—

There’s a knock at his door.

“Dad? You awake?”

“Yeah, buddy,” he calls back. “Be right there.”

Later. He can think about it later.

***

Eddie figures it out at the worst possible time—in the middle of a five-alarm fire when Buck’s trapped inside and he doesn’t know if—

What do you do when you realize you might be in love with your best friend and they could die?

“We have to go back in there,” he says, before he can think of any reason why he shouldn’t. “We can’t just leave him, we have to—”

“You’re right,” Bobby interrupts, and the other captain makes a noise of frustration.

“Captain Nash—”

“You’re right,” Bobby repeats, holding Eddie’s gaze. “We’re going to get him back.”

Maybe it’s stupid, four trained firefighters diving back into an active blaze in an unstable building with unclear direction, but Eddie can’t regret it when he sees the desperation on Buck’s face. The relief. The impending breakdown.

After, he’s assigned to take care of the victim and Buck’s carted off to the hospital to get checked, and Eddie thinks maybe that’s better. It gives him time, at least. Time to figure out what to say, what to do, whether he should say or do anything at all. Part of him doesn’t know. The rest is screaming I love him, I love him, I love him, wants to get his hands on Buck to verify for himself that he’s fine. That he’s alive. That he’s going to stay that way.

But when he gets back to the station, Buck’s parents are there, sitting at the table, and Eddie just—

He thinks about the look on Buck’s face earlier in the shift when he spilled everything, when he explained how he was apparently born just for parts and how he used to throw himself into bad situations because it was the only way to get their attention.

He could ignore them. But he doesn’t.

“He saved my son, you know,” Eddie says, gripping the top of the staircase as the Buckleys look up. And it’s probably somewhat insane to keep talking because he knows they don’t even know who he is, but he can’t help it because he just needs them to understand— “Buck. He wasn’t even working at the time, he was on medical leave and didn’t know if he would ever be able to be a firefighter again. But he saved my son in the middle of a tsunami—my then eight-year-old son, and god knows I can’t imagine losing him, I think that would be the worst thing I could possibly go through, and I’m not sure I would survive it, but I didn’t have to because Buck saved him. And probably twenty other people as well. That’s just the kind of person he is. The kind who saves people.”

They don’t say a word, so he keeps going. “He could have died today. Because he didn’t want to leave anyone behind. Because he is a good man, even if he doesn’t ever feel like he’s good enough. And he hasn’t said a lot about you, but he’s said enough for me to know that while he’s gotten the latter impression from you, he learned the former himself. He built his life here himself. So...I don’t know why you’re here, if you want to explain yourselves or just want him to forgive you because you feel guilty, but I just wanted you to know that. That he’s a good man. The best man that I know. And if you’re proud of him for that, he deserves to hear it. That’s all.”

Eddie walks away then, heart beating too fast, blood rushing in his ears.

The best man that I know. And I’m in love with him.

That wasn’t for their ears though.

It thrums in his veins, the words caught in his throat as he showers, changes, waits for Buck to return to the station. And when he does, Eddie almost—

But something stops him.

“You have visitors,” he says instead. And leaves Buck to it.

Buck finds him in the locker room after.

“So, my parents said they heard stories about me while they were waiting,” he says. “When I asked them who from, they said they didn’t know, but that I saved their son in a tsunami—and trust me, that got a hell of a lot of questions.”

Eddie is grateful for the open locker, the excuse to hide his face as he pulls out his street clothes.

“Yeah, well—just because they’re not going to appreciate you doesn’t mean that nobody else does.”

“Eddie.”

Eddie pulls back and takes a breath before looking over at Buck. There’s a look in Buck’s eyes like he’s trying to piece Eddie together like a puzzle, to work out all the things he hasn’t said. And Eddie suddenly feels exposed, far more than he had when Buck was sitting in his childhood dining room staring down his own parents.

“You’re a good man,” Eddie says quietly. “They should hear that. And...someone should be willing to defend it.”

Buck’s quiet for a moment.

“I have to go see Maddie,” he says finally. “But maybe I could come by later? And we could...talk?”

“You don’t have to ask, Buck,” Eddie replies. “You know I—” I always want you. “—you’re always welcome.”

Buck watches him in silence for another long moment, then nods. “Okay. Okay, I’ll see you later then.”

It’s hours before there’s a knock on the door. Hours in which Eddie burns dinner and then orders takeout because he’s too busy thinking, hours that he spends trapped in his own head, thinking through all the worst case scenarios, through every what if of how things could go wrong.

But also how they could go right.

And by the time he opens the door, he’s almost ready to just let the words trip off his tongue, but before he can, Buck says—

“Please don’t tell me I’m wrong about this.”

—and kisses him.

Eddie freezes, but before Buck can pull back, he slides a hand around the back of Buck’s neck and kisses him back with everything in him—every bit of thank god you’re alive and I was so afraid and I can’t lose you that he can muster. By the time Buck pulls away, they’re both breathless.

“I’m in love with you,” Buck admits. “I’ve been—”

“Me too,” Eddie replies. “I thought—I thought you were—”

Buck kisses him again.

“I can’t believe you told off my parents.”

“Well, you told off mine, so—”

Eddie pulls Buck through the door.

“Chris is in his room,” he says quietly. “But...you should stay for dinner. And…”

You should stay. Just stay.

Buck does.

#chapel writes #eddie diaz #evan buckley #buddie #buddie fic #911 fic #911 spoilers #(just in case)

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jbbuckybarnes · 4 years

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I wanted to

Pairing: Bucky x Reader (5k words) Description: You’ve been gone for 5 years, living in the forest for now. He just witnessed his friend stay back in time and come back as an old man. Maybe you could help each other and fall in love along the way. Warnings: Nightmares, crying, PTSD, awkwardness, canon typical violence, slight angst, fluff, not proofread A/N: I wrote this in my notes a few months back and it is a little openended, but after I figured out that it’s 5k words long, I had to post it. I hope y’all like it anyway, even with how awkward it’s written.

M A S T E R L I S T

You reappeared, the last thing you remembered was turning to dust, alone on a walk. Then the news got to you. 5 years, you were gone for 5 years. Your living situation was currently homeless. You were living in a forest, thankful that it was summer, and waiting for the government to start solving problems. On your daily walk by the cottage that always had a lot going on and the equipment all around it you saw a figure in all black, sitting against a tree, clearly sad. Nobody else was there and you weren't afraid of anything at this point, so you went to the person.

"Um, excuse me? Is everything alright? Do you need help?" You asked coming to a hold 4 steps away from them. A man with long brown hair and ocean blue eyes looked up at you, eyes red and streaks down his cheeks. "No, thank you. I think you'd need my entire life story for that." He sniffled. "Well, I'm currently living in the forest cause I've been dead for 5 years and nobody seems to solve the entire missing people and housing problems, so I think I might understand your hurt a little bit. What's wrong?" You crouched down to be on his level. Now that you looked at him, he looked way bigger and potentially dangerous than you previously thought. You both just sat in silence for a few seconds. "You know when you want your friend to be happy, even if it hurts you like being torn to shreds?" He asked, staring into the distance. "Yeah. It's the worst when they don't consider that pain." You were picking grass from the ground. "Multiply that hurt times 100. That's how I feel right now." He sniffled again and you inched a little closer. "Tell me what happened." "Well. Hi, I'm Bucky, formerly known as the Winter Soldier, frozen and unfrozen since the mid 40s. My friend who wasn't made to kill but still equally frozen just went back in time to choose his first love over me and his other friends in this time. And he came back as an old man. I should be happy for him. He had a great life and probably found his peace. But I would've loved to spend those decades with him, my other friends and maybe some new people." A tear ran down his cheek. "You would've needed the support, the love from a true friend. Let me tell you something. A true friend would always choose his friends over his love. No matter which situation. And I hope you're gonna have some damn great decades. Better than he had them. Cause you didn't live in nostalgia. Okay?"

You didn't know how your daily walk turned into a therapy session with a former assassin but this was needed. "Okay." He nodded with a tiny smile. "You need a hug?" You smiled back and he nodded sniffling. The moment your arms had surrounded him he started sobbing. Way too many emotions coming through, thinking of all those years he did everything for that small boy from school. "It's okay, let it out." You murmured, stroking his back. "It hurts." He got out. "I know. For a reason. It hurts because you cared. A lot," you said and felt arms hugging back. "Thanks." He sniffled again. "No problem." "What's your name, therapy stranger." He laughed loosening the hug and wiping his tears away. "Y/N." "James, but call me Bucky." He finally had a true smile on his face. "That's gonna hit you a few times, Bucky. Don't drown in it, okay?" Your hands were on his shoulders. "Promise."

You sat side by side in silence after that. Just relaxing with a view of the forest. "Can I help you with your housing problem?" His voice broke through, a little groggy but calm. "I don't know if you can." You grinned, throwing away a flower petal you had picked. "Well, now that Steve is definitely out of question as a third roommate...you might be a good shot. You don't have to. Just an idea. I can also just help you search for a flat." "I'd like to. An actual shower would be nice again." you giggled. "There's one in there. I can, you know, ask if you can-" "You don't have to." "Well, but I want to. You don't deserve to die for 5 years and then not have at least THAT luxury." He chuckled at how dumb this all sounded. "I guess." You grinned. He stood up, "Let's just walk in there. Ignore any question about Captain America or Steven Grant Rogers & get you to a shower and a hairbrush." "Thanks for subtly insulting my hair." You boxed against his arm and heard a chuckle.

A knock, "Can I come in without risking a punch?" "Yeah." You giggled, standing in front of the mirror in a shirt that he gave you, getting knots out of your hair. "You look like a new person, Y/N." He grinned leaning against the counter. "Imagine what a good 10 hours of sleep would do to me now." You smiled before making a grimace at the pain on your scalp. He watched you starting to frown into the mirror at your hair strands. "Can I help?" He came closer. "Depends on how gentle you can be." You chuckled. "I had sisters, I know how to do this without anyone crying, darling," he said proudly. "Well, then help away." You shrugged. His hands were gently going through the hair strands on your left side while you went on with the right side. Your eyes wandered to his patient but slightly frowning face that was concentrated on your hair and you smiled. "Didn't think helping a stranger would end this positive." You giggled and he looked up with a smile. "Good things happen to good people." "Well, bad things also happen to good people." You looked at him through the mirror with a soft smile and saw him shake his head to get rid of a thought. "It'll get better," you whispered. "I know," he whispered back, letting the brush glide through your hair. "Damn. You really are good at this." "Of course. Didn't wanna hear my sisters cry at me for an entire week back in the day." He chuckled at the fond memories on his mind. Would he go see them if he could? No. He didn't want to interfere with their life, everything happened for a reason. When you were finally done with your side you exhaled exhausted and turned around to him. "You look pretty in it." He smiled down at you and you followed his eyes. Oh, yeah, this was his shirt. "Uh, thanks." You answered touching it.

"Who's the pretty girl you got with you, Barnes?" Sam looked up from his drink in the kitchen and eyed you. "Our potential third roommate." Came back. "Oh." He set down his cup of coffee. "Hi, my name's Y/N. I've also been gone for 5 years and currently live off of forest food cause our government is a burning pile of trash," you introduced yourself dryly. "What did you do before?" "Was the definition of a homebody." You shrugged. "Hm, not to come off wrong but...we're Avengers and that means cleaning & errands might end up in your hands cause of missions. Any problems with that?" He smirked. "Not really. I just want sleep, food, water and a roof over my head." "What music do you like?" "Pop, Rock, Hip Hop." "Favorite sports team?" "Not my area." "Favorite movie?" "The Matrix." "I like her." Sam looked at Bucky. "Does that mean I can just stay with you from now on? Cause I literally don't have anything else out there other than my knife and a missing persons file for my mother." You asked. "Of course. Why would we let you sleep in the forest?" Bucky looked back at you. "You never know."

"Welcome to your new home." It has been a few days since you all met and gotten to know each other better. Bucky had just opened the door to your room and a bed frame and mattress were already in there. Together with a decent laptop and phone. Clothes had been ordered a few days earlier, but you were still mainly living in Bucky's clothes. There had been multiple occasions of him hiding somewhere in the house or outside to just get it all out, but you always found him and calmed him down. "Oh god, you didn't have to-" "But I wanted to." With a soft smile he closed the door behind you As soon as you used both devices and logged back in, you were searching for your friends and family members. Then world news & government aid. Then Steve Rogers and then Bucky. Sure, you'd learned about them in school years ago but a little refresher on their history and more reasons to be mad at Steve weren't a bad idea. "Gone for a press conference." Was yelled through the apartment by Sam and a door closed. Shortly after there was a knock on your door. "Come in." Bucky's head peaked in with a shy smile. "Something wrong?" You asked. "No, just wanted to say thank you for being there for me so much the last days. You don't have to but you do it anyway." His hand wandered through his hair. "You're the one giving me a place to stay after all this mess." You smiled back. After a bit of silence he breathed in, "Wanna make dinner together?" "Sure."

"Am I ever getting my clothes back?" He grinned down at you. "No. Too comfy." You grinned back in your giant shirt from him. "It's okay, you can have 'em. They look better on you anyway." Now the smile got softer. "Thanks. Always prefered men's clothing." You handed him something he needed for the food you were preparing. There was a comfortable silence across the room while you two continued until the food was ready. "Thanks for cooking with me." He smiled like a little boy. "Of course, Buck."

You woke up from whimpers next door. It was 2am and you really needed sleep, but you got up and walked to his room. When you slowly opened the door you saw him toss and turn a bit with a frown on his face. "Bucky. Hey, Bucky. It's okay. Wake up." Your hand wandered over his head and arm. With a little gasp his eyes opened, "Y/N?" "Yes, I'm here. You had a bad dream." You gave him a concerned smile. "Thank you for waking me up." He smiled sleepily. "Of course." You stood up. "Can you stay here? I don't want to dream that again." His hand reached out and landed on your legs. "Sure." You shrugged and got into the bed next to him. Big arms were snaking around you and hugged you close into a spoon position. "Thank you." He whispered before you drifted off.

Your eyes slowly opened and you found yourself to be in a room that wasn't yours. As soon as you heard little huffs behind you, you knew where you were again. The hand that was over your waist was tried to be removed but without luck. "Bucky. Let me get up." You grumbled. "Hmm?" He asked half asleep. "Let me get up," you mumbled. "No." He grumbled and pulled you closer. "Bucky!" You squealed and got a deep chuckle back. "What's wrong, darling?" You only crossed your arms in response. "Good morning to you too." He chuckled. "You're definitely awake," you mumbled and the arm around you instantly loosened after he realized what you were talking about. "Sorry," was mumbled. "Nah, it's fine." You smiled and finally turned around, "Sleep well after the nightmare?" "Yes, thank you for staying." His tired eyes were shimmering. "No problem." You got hair strands out of your face. "You look adorable right now." He laughed. "I feel more like a squished teddy bear." You pouted and got a giant grin back. "You were a good teddy bear though."

He still occasionally cried and you came to his room whenever you noticed or heard, but he got better, even after visiting Steve. A mission finally called for both of them, not a good sign. Seeing him in his full gear for the first time was overwhelming but fascinating. "Be safe you two idiots." You smiled at both of them. "Don't redecorate the entire house." Sam grinned. "I'll try my best." You chuckled before giving both of them a good hug. The second one came with a kiss to your temple before they were out of the door. You were worried the second they were out of the door, but the two weirdos would be keeping each other safe.

After the mission had turned into a national problem and back, the two men finally came in through the front door exhausted. "Hey, darling." A familiar voice broke the silence and you fell into his arms. "I'm so glad you both are back unharmed," you mumbled. "Of course! We need to annoy the hell out of you. Don't we?" Sam chuckled. You hugged him too before dragging them both into the kitchen to make them some sandwiches. "Sooo. How did it go?" You grinned, knowing well that both of then were ready to explode at the inability of the government. A grumble, "Don't get me started." "Smith is a fucking idiot." "Yeah, and that Tom idiot from mission control." "And Sharon's contact." "Literally anyone involved except for a few." Bucky concluded. "Well, I painted a wall in my room while you were gone and fixed the faucette in the bathroom." You smiled at them accomplished. "Without US!?" Sam said fake offended. "How could you? Let us fail at it first." Bucky joined in. "Can't believe you two manage to keep each other alive." You laughed before starting to clean the counter.

"It's pretty." Bucky smiled at your wall after sitting on your bed and staring at it for a good minute. He was not sure if he liked pastel colors on the wall but guessed they made sense for you. "Thanks. Stood in the paint aisle for almost two hours for the right color." "You think I should paint mine too?" He looked over to you at the desk. "If you want to." A quick shrug. "What color would you pick?" "Maybe...a dark warm purple. Or a tapestry with a lot of moody but colorful things going on. Or maybe just hanging up a few decor pieces in black and brown, fitting to your furniture." Your mind was working with all the possibilities. You didn't notice the soft eyes on you, "I think actually...the best one would be getting a few hang up tapestries that you like and change them up every now and then and the other half of the wall with the decor idea." "Y/N?" He snapped around to get you back. "Huh?" You shook your head and saw his nose crinkle with a chuckle. "Search for some and show them to me." He nudged his head towards your laptop. You grabbed it and fell onto the bed next to him and both of you spent the entire evening checking out tapestries on Society6.

Hands wrapped around your sides before picking you up unexpectedly. With a squeal you found yourself on the shoulders of the super soldier. "I was just trying to hang this up." You giggled. "Thought I should help." He chuckled. "My head literally almost smashed into the ceiling." "But it didn't." The tapestry was put up next to the frames and shelves you had been working on all afternoon while he was at the compound. "It's pretty. Thanks for making it that way." He smiled down at you after letting you down again. "No problem. I love doing this kind of stuff." "Pizza?" "Pizza."

"W-" "Just take it. Wear it everyday and use it if you need to." You were looking down at a bracelet that they got configured for emergencies. In case of imminent danger you just needed to press down a button. "But why?" "You live with two Avengers, we'd feel better if you wore it." Sam added. "Oh okay." You were intimidated by the tech. You studied Hydras infiltration into S.H.I.E.L.D. in your freetime after the files came out and while you were aware that your phone was technically also a tracking device, this felt a little bigger than some phone that can be encrypted by a VPN. You put it on anyway, these two idiots would never want to harm you. "Why not simply use my phone?" You looked up. "You better have two devices than one. If somebody gets your phone a bracelet will be the least suspected thing on your body." "Hm. Okay." You looked at the beads of the bracelet. Looked not too expensive but also not cheap. "Guess I'll get used to it." Two relaxed smiles came back at you. Good.

Arms wrapped around you while you made yourself french toast. A grumble and exhausted exhale. "You'd think with two soldiers you'd have people in the house that are used to early mornings." You chuckled. "Not when you slept like shit and have a roommate that feels like a good surface to fall back asleep on." Sam grumbled in his groggy voice. "You want one?" A soft movement on your shoulder was given back. You added one more slice to the pan and leaned back against him. "Damn you, soft woman." He mumbled squeezing you closer and making you giggle. "You awake or falling asleep again?" You chuckled. "Awake. Unfortunately." He whined before letting you go and taking his toast. "Drink your coffee, birdie. 's gonna be fine." You grinned. He tossled through your hair before making his way to his chair. "You havin' any plans for today?" "Hm. Maybe I'll go adventure the city a bit. Quite a bit has changed in the last 5 years." "You bringing dinner on the way back?" His head dipped to the side like a puppy would do it. "Sushi?" "Sounds good to me."

You'd been all around the Central Park area to scope out new places and what had changed. A few big companies went down after the decimation and smaller shops moved into the places. One of them was actually a sushi place and you already felt it slowly getting colder and the sun was getting lower. You made your way to that block. It was a bit further from the park and not much tourist attractions near, so you could slow down your pace a bit. You never made it to the entrance. You were yanked back by somebody and silenced with a hand over your mouth. You opened your eyes again to an empty street, only darkly clothed men all around. How did you not see them earlier. "Well, if it isn't our Avengers girlfriend." A dark voice said behind you, manifesting into a man coming to a hold in front of you. The man holding you let you go a little, knowing you wouldn't run with all these men around. "What do you want from me and who the hell are you?" You said stronger than you thought you could in this situation. Your hand wandered to your wrist, pressing down the little dent in your bracelet. "The Handler, Hydra, we don't want anything FROM you, we just want you. They'd never let their friend die at our hands. They wanna save you, don't they." "You wanna take me to get them?" You made clear out loud. "Yeah. You wanna come with us normally or do we need to use strength on you?" "I come with you, but only if you can prove you're really Hydra and not just some human trafficking gang." You played the game, they wouldn't take long. "Girl, you wanna see prove?" The man grinned. "I know all his trigger words. You wanna die at the hands of Bucky Barnes or do you wanna live?" "Not sure how long you can keep that promise of me living." You smirked, hearing a faint jetpack coming closer. In seconds somebody grabbed you, Sam kicked down the mysterious man and multiple men fell to the floor. You didn't look at the scene but had enough self defense training to kick the man holding you where the sun doesn't shine before ramming an elbow into his sternum and your hand into his face. A metal hand grabbed over his mouth before his body turned limp. "Stay behind me!" You heard from Bucky, finally getting you out of the shock and did as he said. Your eyes were trying to stay as far away from anything trauma inducing as they could. Bullets were kept from hitting you by black vibranium and you flinched at a cry behind you. "Sam, get her out of here." The arms from this morning suddenly felt possibly threatening for a second, then like the only safe option. "Close your eyes." He quickly told you before flying you up to the next best roof. Redwing hovered above you shortly after and you were pressed to sit down on the floor. "Stay here. Gonna make sure everything is safe." You were shaking, heard a few more gunshots and the little computer over you scanning everything around. "I'm just saying. You better tell her soon or she'll never start training to do these things." "She shouldn't need to. Even if I do." The two flew up in front of you, Bucky immediately coming straight towards you with a concerned face. "Didn't know you could break noses, darling." He huffed before grabbing your shaking form close, letting you sob out the shock. "I'm so sorry, Y/N." He mumbled into your ear. "H-home." "We'll bring you home, darling. You're safe now."

"They waited all this time for her to go into an area of the city that's calmer. What the hell could they want from me or you?" Sam was stressed. "They always want me for something." Bucky muttered. "Hey, that's not your fault. Okay?" "I know, but I'm still the reason this bullshit happened to her." "You don't know that." "They wanted to kidnap her to lure us in. Told her they knew the trigger words." Bucky growled. Your pitter patter moved towards the kitchen. Red swollen eyes staring at the two men for a second before you went for the fridge. "He said "come with us or die by Bucky's hands" like it wasn't part of the same plan," you mumbled taking out chocolate pudding, "Which makes me question if they have more stuff to get you with." "I honestly don't wanna try it out without having Steve to kick your head back to normal." Sam shook his head. "I need to call Shuri, Cho & Banner," Bucky muttered before making a quick way out of the kitchen. You sat down on the counter, spoon deep in your comfort food. "You feeling better?" Sam asked. "A bit." "Bucky's still not over you breaking someone's nose. That was badass for someone that's not an agent. But also risky." The last sentence was accompanied by a stern look. You gave a soft smile back, "I knew you both had my back." "I can teach you a few more moves if that helps you." He grinned. "Would always love to learn from my favorite Captain America." You laughed towards the end of the sentence.

"I'll be back in a few weeks. Promise." Bucky looked down at you, regretting that he needed to go to Wakanda. "Gonna miss you." You squished your face into his chest. "I'm gonna miss you too, darling." He smiled down. You pulled his head down a little, making his breathing hitch and his cheeks flush. A soft kiss was pressed onto his forehead before he could get his cool back. "Now nothing can go wrong." You giggled and he grabbed you into a tight hug again with a chuckle before you parted ways and he flew away in the Quinjet.

In the following weeks you got at least one voice memo per day. Sometimes a picture of a beautiful Wakandan flower. Mostly diary-like updates. You kept his room clean, changed the tapestry to a more colorful one, stole some more jumpers and maybe one of his throw blankets. "Sam told me you're a thief again?" He said when you finally video called after a month. "It's getting colder, your jumpers are the best, what else am I supposed to do?" You pouted. "I also see my throw blanket around you right now." He laughed. "I miss you, okay?" You said flustered. "I miss you too. Next time I'm gone I demand to steal something from you too." He grinned. "Alright," you agreed, "How are you doing?" "I think they only test one or two more times for stuff and then I'm gonna be back." "Prepare for the longest hug in the history of hugs." "Alright, darling. Ugh, I need to go. Annoy Sam for me, will you?" He smiled truly happy. "Of course. See ya, Buck."

"No, don't go back before punching. That gives me too much time for defense. Surprise effect." Sam explained to you while showing you some of the things he learned in the military. "So, like this?" You punched him and caught him off-guard. "Damn, girl. You're getting really bold around me, huh?" He smirked. "Thought Captain America could take a hit from someone like me." You chuckled. "Oh, you could easily win against me with the right training. I think Bucky would be hard for any agent or soldier." "Another point for me disliking Steve, thanks. Goes onto the list." "You have a list?" He asked impressed. "C'mon. Good doesn't mean sane." "You're more protective than I thought you'd be." He winked continuing the session. "Why wouldn't I? Physically I'm not a match, but mentally?" You smirked, diffusing a punch. "Fair point." He shrugged, dodging your next punch. "Gaaah." You threw yourself at him in a cuddle attack. "You tired?" He laughed catching you. "Yeah." "Sushi?" "Please."

With a gasp you woke up from a nightmare. A weird one too. Nothing made sense but it had involved your two roommates. After grabbing the water bottle on your bedside table and drinking from it you had calmed down, but not enough to fall back asleep. *I had a nightmare.* *Can't fall back asleep?* *No :c* *Sleep in my bed if it helps.* You had silently made your way to Bucky's room and laid down in his bed, surrounded by his smell. Something about that did wonders to get your eyelids heavy in an instant. The next morning you were greeted with wiggly eyebrows at the kitchen table. "You act like we don't have a nightmare routine." "Yeah, it's real cute. You should try seeing how oblivious you both are. Drives me insane." "Excuse me?" He held his hands up and stayed silent about it for the rest of the week.

You started sleeping only in his room after that day, since it just felt better for whatever reason. You really felt the parts of your day where he was missing. And one morning you finally woke up to arms being tightly wrapped around you with a face pressed into your back. "Bucky?" You whispered tired and turned around. "Hm?" He grumbled half asleep. "I missed you." You grinned squinting. "I missed you too, darling." He peaked his eyes open with a soft smile. You inhaled to say something but held yourself back from doing so. "Missed you more than anything." He grinned with his hand getting your messy hair under control. "Anything is a lot." You giggled. "I know, darling." He pulled you closer, having you in his personal space. "I slept way better in here." You smiled. "Really? Was it because of the bed or the stolen clothes?" He chuckled. "Both." Another giggle left you. "I really want to kiss you right now," he said with his eyes locked on yours. Words failed you and you nodded with a shy smile. Lips touched yours slow and hesitant, testing the waters, making sure you feel comfortable. "I waited so long to do this, god. I'm so madly in love with you." Everything just left him like a waterfall of words. "I love you too, Bucky." Your face lit up. "Sooo, we're gonna stay in this cocoon for a few more minutes?" His hand went down your side. "Of course, you idiot." You laughed. A few more minutes had turned into an hour. Spent with kissing, touching, giggling and content smiles. "You want french toast or not?" You sat up. "I want you...wait...that came out wrong." He laughed. "Oh no, Buck. You meant that the way you said it, player." You grinned. "I mean...it wasn't a lie." Innocent eyes landed on you. "You'd have to kick Sam out for that." You laughed and gave him a little wink, making him blush. "Maybeee I need 5 more minutes." He cleared his throat. "Alright. Good to know." You smirked before leaving the bed next to him warm, while he needed to calm down from any fantasies playing out in his head.

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floatingpetals · 5 years

Text

Boys in Blue || Pt. 11

Pairings: cop!Stucky x F!Reader

Warnings: Steve’s a little cheeky, and then all the fluff, no joke, tooth rooting fluff

Word Count: 3500+

Summary: (Cop AU) There was just one crappy thing after enough that happened to her. It possibly couldn’t get any worse, or so she thought until she saw the dreaded flashes of red and blue behind her. Could things get any worse?

A/N: I have NOT forgotten about this wonderful story. I hope you all haven’t either lol. This part is completely fluffy like I said in the warning. Because it is a warning. I just want you all to know that you might die for cuteness overload. So yeah. Fair warning. I hope you all enjoy it and let me know what you think!

The gifs are not mine, credit to the owner.

Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Series Masterlist

Y/N grumbled under her breath, hitting the breaks as she yet again caught another red light. She let her head fall back against the headrest and let out a heavy sigh. She was so close to being home. It was her day off and she was supposed to be relaxing. But no. Instead, she’d been running errands all day and didn’t get one second to take a breather. She was exhausted and just want to kick her shoes off. Literally.

Robert, Maddie’s oldest, was turning four this weekend and Maddie was at her wit's end. Lexi had learned how to walk recently, although Y/N would never admit to her friend that the ‘first time’ Maddie saw her daughter walk it technically wasn’t the first time. While it was a huge milestone for Lexi, it meant Maddie’s little girl was getting into anything and everything she could, basically a walking tornado.

Throw in the fact that Robert now thought he was a big boy who didn’t need to listen to his mother since he was turning four and with Jason being gone to work most of the time, Maddie needed an extra set of hands getting the party-ready. Of course, in a very Maddie fashion, she let some of the slightly more important details wait until the last minute. Such as the cake, decorations, and food. Not willing to let not only her best friend down, nor her godson, Y/N stepped in to help. She didn’t mind, Y/N would do anything for her best friend, but even she had a limit.

Only one thing turned into two, that turned into three and now it was six o’clock in the evening and Y/N was ready to pass out. She had already dropped off everything to Maddie’s house, who was incredibly appreciative and swore up and down she’d pay her back somehow. Now Y/N was on her way home to slip out of her jeans and into her comfy sweats.

During all the excitement, she didn’t have much of a chance to speak with either Bucky or Steve. Not that it mattered much, both had work and needed their focus on their jobs. She would send them texts every once in a while, and would occasionally get a response back, but they all had been rather busy today themselves. At one point, Steve jokingly mentioned the full moon was the reason for so many idiots running around today keeping them on their toes. She knew they’d call her once they got off like they always did, so Y/N didn’t think too much of it at the time.

She was almost home, sitting at the red light right down the street from her apartment. Mentally checked out and on autopilot, Y/N slowly put her foot to the pedal when the light turned green. She hadn’t seen the car that pulled up behind her, a familiar black and white dodge she knew well. But she did notice when the car flicked it’s light on, that wonderful dreaded red and blue. Y/N jumped when the sirens went off with the lights, her heart hammering in her chest.

Muttering an oath under her breath, Y/N turned into a gas station parking lot. It was like Deja vu all over again. Once again, Y/N had no idea what she could have done, but today she was too exhausted to even get slightly worked up about it. She let out an irritated groan, her eyes closing shut for a moment and let her head fall back against the headrest. She just wanted to go to bed.

The rhythmic tap on her window pulled her out of her thoughts. She let out a heavy sigh and reached to roll down the window, not once sparing a glance at the officer. She was already reaching for her purse beside her on the passenger seat when the officer spoke.

“License and registration ma’am.”

Y/N’s froze, recognizing the voice anywhere. Snapping her head to the window she stared into a pair of familiar blues and a wide grin.

“What the fuck Steve?” She growled.

Steve let out a laugh, not looking the least bit sorry and crossed his arms to lean against the window of her car. He titled his head to the side, smirking his stupid smirk that always made her stomach flutter and flip.

“You’ve still got a mouth on you, huh?”

“You know what, Rogers.” Y/N grumbled, narrowing her eyes in exasperation. Steve laughed through his nose, his smirk morphing into a smile that caused the corners of his eyes to crinkle. “Isn’t it illegal to pull me over without cause?”

“What makes you think I don’t have a reason?”

Y/N didn’t respond, instead sent him a flat glare. Any other time she’s snap back, but today she was all out of snap juice. All it did was cause Steve to cackle and simply shake his head.

“Oh, come on. Don’t be mad.” He snickered. “You weren’t answering your phone and Bucky and I were getting worried.”

Y/N paused, confused. That didn’t sound right.

“But you haven’t text or called me?”

“Yeah, we have.” Steve frowned. “Where’s your phone?”

“Um,” Y/N grabbed her purse and dug around in its bottomless pit. She could have sworn she looked at it before she left Maddie’s and didn’t have any messages from them. It definitely hadn’t gone off since. Finally finding it, Y/N tossed her bag aside and turned the screen on. Sure enough, there were several messages and missed calls from both Steve and Bucky. “Oh. I guess you did.”

Steve snorted with an amused smirk and shook his head. There were moments when Y/N spaced, whether she was exhausted or just checked out for a minute that Steve always thought was adorable. It only took him one glance at her phone to see it was on complete silence. No doubt she flipped it on at one point during the day completely unaware she did. Y/N ducked her chin bashfully and glanced over to Steve.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you worry.”

“Nah, it’s alright, baby girl. We had a feeling you weren’t intentionally doing it.” Steve reassured her and leaned in to press a kiss against her temple. “I just clocked off and was driving back to the station when I spotted you.”

“Ah. Where’s Bucky?” She asked, glancing over his shoulder. He was supposed to be on patrol today, but one of his stipulations for the next week was always to be with someone. Steve typically was the one he picked as a partner, Sam being a close second if Steve had other things he needed to get done for the day. It made seeing him go back out on patrol a little easier knowing someone else was there to keep an eye on him.

“He had his therapy session push back to 5:30. He should be done by the time I get to the station.” Steve explained absently and brushed some hair from her face. “I gotta pick him up, but we were wanting to know what you wanted to do tonight. Although from the look on your face, you’re about ready to crash. I can tell Buck you might need a rain check.”

Y/N tried to hide her disappointment, but it was hard when all she wanted to do was melt into her mattress. She wanted to see the both of them tonight, even though she’d probably pass out on them. Although, cuddling with them did sound like an incredibly appealing idea.

“I doubt he’ll listen to me though.” Steve rolled his eyes. He already knew how that conversation would end. “You good to drive? You look that exhausted.”

“Yeah, It’s right around the corner.” Y/N said. Any further she probably wouldn’t feel very comfortable with that idea, but she could see the gate from where they were sitting. Steve was quiet, mulling over whether he should drive her the short distance or not. She was right though; it was right around the corner and he could always sit and watch her just in case.

“Alright, text me when you get home. And turn your phone off silent.” Steve leaned in to press a kiss to her cheek. Y/N hummed happily and mumbled an okay. She waited until he was in his car before she pulled off and went the short distance to her apartment.

She had barely kicked off her shoes before she fell face first on her bed and let out an over the top groan. Her feet were killing her, her back was sore, and she had no clue that she was so exhausted. It took her less than five minutes to hit the mattress and she was out like a light. It wasn’t until a heavy weight settled beside her on the bed and the familiar smell of oak and chocolate that caused her to jolt awake. Blearily she realized who it was. The boys must have let themselves in with her key, either that she forgot to lock the door.

Bucky inhaled deeply, snuggling as close as he could by pressing his front against her back and his arm around her waist. They must have run home to change, she could feel the texture of his favorite Henley against her cheek. He began pepper soft kissed up the column of her next, his nose skimming against her skin. Y/N’s lips curled up in a blissful smiled and nestled back into his hug.

“Maddie run you ragged?” Bucky whispered against her hair. Y/N nodded slowly, still too tired to form coherent sentences. “Well, Steve’s ordered some Chinese. While we wait, do you want me to make you a bath?”

That sounded like a wonderful idea. Y/N mumbled an unintelligible noise of agreement and began to wiggle out of his grip. Bucky snickered and held her fast, locking her against his front.

“Nope, you stay put.” He stated. “I’ll get it started and then bring you in when it’s ready.”

Cracking an eye open, Y/N watched Bucky crawl off the bed and make his way towards her bathroom. He paused to press a kiss to Steve’s lips when the other man walked into the room. He murmured his plans against Steve’s cheek and went off to do set up things in the bathroom.

Steve cocked his head to the side and smiled warmly at Y/N from where he stood leaning against the door frame. She flopped over on her back and opened her arms in invitation. Steve laughed when the effort of holding her arms up was too much plopped beside her and crossed the distance to the bed. Carefully scooping her up in his arms, he drew her close with a happy hum. She let out a sound of content and nuzzled her nose into the crook of his neck.

Steve allowed his eyes to fall shut, listening to her soft breathing and the sound of Bucky starting up the tub. He lived for moments like this when there wasn’t a care in the world, and he had his best girl in his arms. He could spend the rest of the evening snuggled up with her, maybe a movie playing and Bucky on the other side of her. It had been a long week, and he was ready for a much-needed break.

The sound of the tap turning off made him crack open an eye and turn his head towards the bathroom. He could see Bucky bent over the tub, dropping in a bath bomb from the basket she kept under the sink. He spotted several candles set up already, the soft smell of eucalyptus and mint filtering out the open door. Y/N inhaled deeply, the corners of her lips turning up at the smell.

“You two are too good to be true,” She whispered against his skin. A shiver went up his spine, his cheeks flushing. He started running a hand through her hair and pressed a kiss to her temple.

“Why’d you say that?”

“Cause you are.” Y/N shrugged. Steve snorted and shook his head.

“Nah, I think it’s you who's too good to be true.” He countered. She pulled her head back, a brow raised in disbelief. “You are! Never thought I’d ever love another person as much as I do you. I don’t know how you put up with both of us, but my hearts happy you do.”

Y/N opened her mouth to argue, that she was the lucky one and not the other way around when Bucky walked in the room and made an over exaggerated noise of disgust.

“You’re both gross, sappy, and I love you. But the baths done and I’m not letting all my hard work go cold.” He smirked and began untangling her from Steve, who was quite content on keeping her there. He paused when there was a knock on the front door. Steve groaned and let Y/N go. “Go get the food, I’ll put our girl in the bath.”

Steve whined and reluctantly pushed off the bed, dragging his feet as he went to get the food. Bucky scoffed and shook his head, helping Y/N up and towards the waiting tub. She grumbled and leaned back against him, knowing he wouldn’t let her fall.

“Want me to help you get in?” He asked and rested his hands on her hips. Y/N thought about it for a moment before nodded sluggishly. Bucky chuckled fondly and helped her get undressed, occasionally peppering soft kisses on the skin he revealed under her clothes. She pulled her hair up, not wanting to deal with getting her hair wet or having to wash it. She didn’t have the energy to deal with that tonight.

A few moments later, Bucky was helping her settle in the tub when Steve walked in. He plopped down on the closed toilet seat and took in a deep breath of the calming eucalyptus, letting his head fall back against the wall with his eyes closed.

“Foods stayin’ warm in the oven.” He said, rolling his head to the side and looked over the two with hooded eyes. Bucky was crouched by the tub, one arm resting on the lip while the other arm was draped over the side. He was absently swirling shapes in the bubbles in the water. Y/N had melted in the warm water, watching Bucky’s hand swirl the water with a content smile.

Warmth grew in Steve’s stomach. It was so domestically sweet that he swore his teeth would rot out. He loved every second of it too. The only reason why he hadn’t decided to join her in the tub was the fact it could possibly contain all three of them. They already tried that, and it ended poorly.

“Do we wanna watch a movie while we eat, or catch up on The Good Place?” Bucky broke the silence as he reached for Y/N’s bottle of her favorite body wash and loofa.

“Don’t know if I could focus on The Good Place,” Y/N sighed. Bucky nodded and started to run the loofa up her leg. “I can do that, you know.”

“Shush.” He remarked, completely ignoring the hand she stuck out to take over. “We’ll put something on, pig out on dinner and probably pass out. Do you work tomorrow?”

“No, I took off today and tomorrow so I could get ready for this weekend. Didn’t think I’d have to do everything all in one day though.” She grumbled.

“Well, at least you got it out of the way so you can prepare yourself for Saturday,” Steve said, watching Bucky help her sit forward to get to her back. “Buck and I have off too, a miracle in of itself.”

“We also both grabbed bags incase you had off, so we don’t plan on leavin’ after you fall asleep.” Bucky paused, his hand resting on her shoulder. “If that’s okay with you?”

“No, that’s an awful idea. I don’t want to share my bed with my boyfriends.” Y/N remarked smartly. Bucky scoffed and flicked water at her in retaliation.

“Lean back you brat.” He rolled his eyes. Y/N giggled but did as he asked. “If I didn’t like you a lot, I’d splash more water on you, but you’re lucky I understand the struggle with hair.”

“Have I ever told you how charming you are? You just sweep the ladies right off their feet, don’t you?” Y/N quipped.

Bucky stopped and swiveled towards Steve. Steve blinked and raised a brow.

“Do you hear this? I was all sweet and made her a bath, even helpin’ her and she’s givin’ me attitude.” Bucky complained in faux exasperation. Steve shrugged and cross his arms over his chest, a smirk playing on the corner of his lips.

“I hear her. Cant’ say I blame her though. You’re the one who pulled her over first.”

“Yeah! This is payback!” Y/N interjected. Bucky groaned, rubbing his temple with his dry hand. “Don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time!”

“Alright, enough outta you,” Bucky growled, leaned forward to quiet her with a kiss. A peal of laughter slipped from her lips despite Bucky’s best attempts at smothering her, his mild irritation the funniest thing all day for her. Bucky nipped at her lower lip when she didn’t stop and let the loofa plop in the quickly cooling water. “You’re such a brat.”

“Mhm,” She hummed, a cheeky grin on her face. “But you love me.”

“I do,” Bucky sighed. “I question my sanity sometimes, but I do.”

He pushed off the tub to stand with a groan, stretching his arms up over his head and reached for a clean towel. Steve stood as well, stepping around Bucky to leave, gently squeezing his hip as he passed.

“I’ll go get Netflix started and get the food on plates.” He said before Y/N could ask where he was off too. He could see her scowl while he made his retreat. As he walked towards the kitchen, he could hear Bucky teasings.

“Alright, you heathen. Let’s get you out before the water gets colder.”

Steve heard Y/N giggle and stand in the tub, smiling to himself as he set up the television in her living room. By the time he had the food waiting on the coffee table, Y/N and Bucky emerged from her room with Y/N in her favorite pjs. She pouted when she realized they were going to sit on the couch and nod her bed like she thought.

“No cuddling?”

“We'll eat first and then move to your room to finish the movie,” Steve assured her.

Y/N nodded and sank into the plush cushions next to Steve, tucking her legs underneath her. Bucky took up his spot next to her, eagerly grabbing a plate to fill up with food.

“What do you wanna watch?” Steve asked as he flipped through the movies. Y/N paused in filling her own plate and glance up.

“Um… Coco!” She wanted a movie she’d seen plenty of time before and didn’t have to focus too much on to follow.

Steve nodded, agree with her selection and turned the movie on. He grabbed his own plate and the three settled in to enjoy their dinner and movie. Half an hour later the food was gone, and Y/N was slouched against Bucky’s side, her eyes dropping shut now with her belly full. He wrapped an arm around her shoulder and jerked his chin to her bedroom. Steve didn’t need to be told twice, already shutting down the tv to move into the bedroom.

“Wake up baby girl,” Bucky cooed. Y/N’s face scrunched up and she shook her head with a whine. He grinned. “Guess I’ll have to pick you up then.”

By the time Y/N processed his words, he had already scooped her up in his arms and heading towards her bedroom. Her eyes flew open with a squeak and her arm flung to wrap around his neck. She knew his muscles weren’t just for show, but it always caught her off guard at just how strong he was.

Steve, ever the planner, had her television on with Coco pulled up where they last stopped. The sheet was pulled back for Bucky to gently deposit her in the middle of the bed while he was in the bathroom changing out of his clothes. Bucky pressed a kiss to her forehead and grabbed his own bag beside her dresser.

“Be right back.”

When Bucky stepped in the bathroom, Steve paused with the brush in his hair. He smiled at Bucky through the mirror, his heart growing in his chest at the blissful expression on Bucky’s face. Bucky wrapped an arm around his waist, resting his head between Steve’s shoulder blades.

“You okay, Buck?” Steve set the brush on the counter and wrapped his arms around Bucky with a squeeze. Bucky let out a relaxed sigh and pressed a lingering kiss to his back.

Steve twisted around in Bucky’s arms and wrapped his arms around the shorter’s neck. Bucky stared at him for a moment, his blues eyes dancing with a light and happiness Steve hadn’t seen in a long while. The corners of his eyes crinkled while Bucky tugged Steve forward and kissed him, humming contently. He rested his forehead against Steve, holding his boyfriend tight.

“Never better.”

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