#hogwarts is a bad school

[fanfic-lover-girl]

A big problem with Hogwarts is that they don't have enough teachers, creating an absolute killer squedule for them. Snape and Macgonagall have the worst of it. It might explain why they couldn't do an investigation in the second book, although cancelling some of the exams and extending the christmas holidays would probably give them time to investigate. Or hire more teachers so that the dark art expert teachers can have the necessary time to investigate.

Dumbledore cancelling the exam at the end of book two does make sense: because of the climate of terror and less free time in the library, teachers would have to either significantly lower their standards or simply have no exams at all. Because, realistically, very few would be able to study.

A big problem with Hogwarts is that they don't have enough teachers, creating an absolute killer squedule for them.

Hogwarts as a school makes no sense. I don't know how many teachers there are and I don't care to research that. But it must be tough to teach a subject for 7 different year cohorts. Of course, the OWL and NEWT classes would be smaller but that's still a lot of work.

On top of that, Snape and Minerva are house heads. No wonder these kids are running wild and their caregiving is lacking. On top of this nightmare, Minerva is ALSO deputy headmistress. It's a miracle Gryffindor house is not in shambles! No wonder so many Slytherin!Harry fics feature Snape being a more competent and active head of house! Canon definitely supports it given how much the Slytherins love and respect the man.

I have been skimming scenes from the books but I have no intention of fully reading them. What happened to the OWL and NEWT exams in book 2?? It's also very telling that the basilik only became an emergency when Hermione was petrified. Got to love that main character syndrome.

No guidance counsellors. No proper career advice counselling (giving career talks in year 5 is dumb as hell). Only one nurse? The student-to-teacher ratio is insane. Hogwarts is the boarding school from hell.

#anti hogwarts #minerva mcgonagall #severus snape #harry potter series #chamber of secrets #hogwarts is a bad school #harry potter books #ask

[sammyunhinged]

I fixed Hermione's 3rd year schedule

To preface this, I am a scheduling nerd. Making and figuring out how to make people's schedules work is one of my favorite pastimes.

So I bet myself that I could fix the Hogwarts schedule work to completely get rid of Hermione's need for a time turner and I did. The schedule would be very busy but definitely not impossible like it is during the Prisoner of Azkaban.

I think the abbreviations are fairly self explanatory but here's the key:

H- Herbology

HM- History of Magic

P- Potions

DA- Defense Against the Dark Arts

AR- Ancient Runes

T- Transfiguration

C- Charms

MC- Care of Magical Creatures

AM- Arithmacy

MS- Muggle Studies

AS- Astronomy

My thought process if you're curious:

Hogwarts students have seven required courses from their first through fifth year:

Astronomy

Charms

Defense Against the Dark Arts

Herbology

History of Magic

Potions

Transfiguration

During third year they can add any of the following electives:

Ancient Runes

Arithmacy

Care of Magical Creatures

Divination

Muggle Studies

I put the following requirements on myself:

elective courses included all 4 houses due to the naturally smaller classes sizes

core classes for 1st through 5th years must only have 2 houses like in the books, keeping classes sizes reasonable

no classes could happen at the same time (aka 3rd year Arithmacy cannot happen at the same time as 3rd year Divination)

a single professor must be able to teach every one of their classes (aka 1st year DADA cannot overlap with 6th year DADA)

There must be time between classes so students can get from classroom to classroom

Classes must start at the same time every morning (9:00am), afternoon (1:00pm), and evening (6:30pm)

There must be a break after morning and afternoon classes so students have a time for lunch or dinner if they have a busy schedule.

I made the schedule using a timetable used by many universities. Classes occur on Monday/Wednesday/Friday or Tuesday/Thursday for a total of 150 mins per week, so 50 min classes on M/W/F and 75 mins classes on T/R. The only exception is a 75 min class on Monday/Wednesday from 4:00-5:15 which ensures all classes are done by 3:50pm on Friday.

Quidditch practice could easily take place on weekday mornings before 9:00am, weekday evenings between 5:30-9:00 when Astronomy classes begin, Friday afternoons, or weekends.

If anybody wants to see the complete schedule for all seven years or particular professors, I have those as well.

#Hogwarts #Harry Potter #Hermione Granger #prisoner of azkaban #Wizarding world #Hogwarts is a bad school #Time turners are the worst #fuck jkr

[inkskinned]

i. about 2 weeks ago, i was told there's a good chance that in 5 or so years, i'll need a wheelchair.

ii. okay. i loved harry potter as a kid. i have a hypothesis about this to be honest - why people still kind of like it. it's that she got very lucky. she managed to make a cross-generational hit. it was something shared for both parents and kids. it was right at the start of a huge cultural shift from pre to post-internet. i genuinely think many people were just seeking community; not her writing. it was a nice shorthand to create connection. which is a long way of saying - she didn't build this legacy, we built it for her. she got lucky, just once. that's all.

iii. to be real with you, i still struggle with identifying as someone with a disability, which is wild, especially given the ways my life has changed. i always come up against internalized ableism and shame - convinced even right now that i'm faking it for attention. i passed out in a grocery store recently. i hit my head on the shelves while i went down.

iv. he raises his eyebrows while he sends me a look. her most recent new book has POTS featured in it. okay, i say. i already don't like where this is going. we both take another bite of ramen. it is a trait of the villain, he says. we both roll our eyes about it.

v. so one of the things about being nonbinary but previously super into harry potter is that i super hate jk rowling. but it is also not good for my mental health to regret any form of joy i engaged with as a kid. i can't punish my young self for being so into the books - it was a passion, and it was how i made most of my friends. everyone knew about it. i felt like everyone had my same joy, my same fixation. as a "weird kid", this sense of belonging resonated with me so loudly that i would have done anything to protect it.

vi. as a present, my parents once took me out of school to go see the second movie. it is an incredibly precious memory: my mom straight-up lying about a dentist appointment. us snickering and sneaking into the weekday matinee. within seven years of this experience, the internet would be a necessity to get my homework finished. the world had permanently changed. harry potter was a relic, a way any of us could hold onto something of the analog.

vii. by sheer luck, the year that i started figuring out the whole gender fluid thing was also the first year people started to point out that she might have some internalized biases. i remember tumblr before that; how often her name was treated as godhood. how harry potter was kind of a word synonymous for "nerdy but cool." i would walk out of that year tasting he/him and they/them; she would walk out snarling and snapping about it.

viii. when i teach older kids creative writing, i usually tell them - so, she did change the face of young adult fiction, there's no denying that. she had a lot more opportunities than many of us will - there were more publishing houses, less push for "virally" popular content creators. but beyond reading another book, we need to write more books. we need to uplift the voices of those who remain unrepresented. we need to push for an exposure to the bigotry baked into the publishing system. and i promise you: you can write better than she ever did. nothing she did was what was magical - it was the way that the community responded to it.

ix. i get home from ramen. three other people have screenshotted the POTS thing and sent it to me. can you fucking believe we're still hearing this shit from her when it's almost twenty-fucking-twenty-three. the villain is notably also popular on tumblr. i just think that's funny. this woman is a billionaire and she's mad that she can't control the opinions of some people on a dying blue site that makes no money. lady, and i mean this - get a fucking life.

x. i am sorry to the kid i was. maybe the kid you were too. none of us deserved to see something like this ruined. that thing used to be precious to me. and now - all those good times; measured into dust.

/// 9.6.2022 // FUCKING AGAIN, JK? Are you fucking kidding me?

#witches and wizards #kids need to be able to play games without knowing the extended universe #playing was easy #i knew i wasn't gonna be able to explain chronicles of christomancy #but we could pick up a stick and run around #nd say we were magic that would be enough backstory #and i think the last time i felt that sense of community #was the summer of pokemon go #it's about cross-generational connectivity bro #yes there are insular communtities but EVERYONE had fucking read harry potter #which is me saying - i think maybe people don't miss HER or the ACTUAL BOOK tbh #they miss... feeling connected #think about how so many people felt so weirdly ashamed and lost after Game of Thrones ended - #they did SUCH a bad job that the entire community just... vanished. #where beforehand people would have GoT weddings #we are just animals who love stories and love feeling like we speak the same language #btw i am not on twitter so i hadn't seen some of the shit she was doing #and then when i was 19 she published the ''american school'' hogwarts stuff #and was reading it casually bc again a huge nerd #and in it shes like ''the british taught the natives their more civilized magics'' #and that was like..................... oh okay. okay. so.....

[that-one-gay-from-the-gay-club]

HI IM A LITTLE LATE I WAS AT A CONCERT HSHZHDUAAUID

@croptopjames <3 NSFW but not explicit

It's sinful, fucking sinful.

When Regulus agreed to be dragged along to this guys birthday party as part of him and his brother reconciling, this isn't how he thought it would go.

He thought it would maybe go something along the lines of he got a drink or two or three, say hi to the birthday boy, meet his brothers boyfriend and other two "best friends in the whole- the whoolle wide world reggie" he had slurred just slightly (just preparty drinks things), and then maybe, maybe if he got drunk enough, dance a bit. You know.

Most of those things did happen, to be fair. But the one thing he didn't see coming was James Fleamont Potter.

James potter, with his fucking dancing and his fucking hips and that fucking crop top. He had a waist that regulus just wanted to sink his teeth into, one that would look much better with handprint bruises, and his tattoo, that fucking tattoo, the stag antlers just barely peeking over his jeans.

Just barely, that is, until James hooks a finger in his waistband and starts swaying his hips to the beat of the music, other arm holding his bottle above his head, the head that's thrown back exposing a neck Regulus just wants to wrap his hands around and squeeze.

The worst decision he could make is walk over to him.

So he walks over to him, drink in hand (there's no way he's leaving it unattended) and smiles his most innocent smile. He looks up at James though his eyelashes, a perk of being the smallest black brother.

"And who might you be?" James grins. "No no, noono let me guess. Baby Black."

"Oh fuck that Nickname sucks, Potter" Regulus all but shudders

"Potter? Not James?" He pouts. Regulus wants to bite that lip, bite down on it and pull antil it bleeds. He wants to watch the blood run down James's chin and then lick it off.

He's so fucked. He stands up on tiptoe, so he can be right next to James's ear. He'll blame it on the music.

"James" he murmurs, low and dark and sweet all at the same time. He could have sworn James shuddered at the name.

"Regulus." James copies his tone, in his own ear, and if he sounded anything like that whilst saying James's name then he's surprised James is still upright. It makes his knees buckle for a second.

Strong arms wrap around his waist, and a slower song comes on.

"Dance with me?"

Regulus nods. Its polite, isn't it? It's rude to say no to the birthday boy. Even if, technically, it stopped being his birthday about an hour ago. The pair dance, and get far too close, and Regulus has his hands on that fucking crop top and on James's stupid little waist. It's fucking- it's not tiny, but it's not big. It's muscled. Seriously, the man is sculpted from clay or some shit.

Regulus tugs at the crop top. It reaches to a little above his belly button, and Regulus really really wants to rip it off.

"Now now honey, what are you doing that for?" Regulus blushes at the pet name, and it's almost impossible to hide because of how pale he is. James smirks, fucking smirks. Its usually something regulus Hayes, but on James it makes him want to kiss, and scratch and bite and make James his.

"Do you maybe want to go upstairs?" James asks, almost hesitantly, despite how confidently he's now murmuring in Regulus's ear and- and oh fuck, and kissing his neck.

He nods, frantically, resisting the urge to bite his lip.

"Not good enough, baby, I want to hear you say it" James says, standing up straight again, cocky smile back in place.

Regulus can play that game too. He stands on his tiptoes, wrapping his arms around James's neck and breathing in his ear.

"Please, sir? Can we go upstairs, to your room?" He says, tongue dripping with honey, as he gently tugs at James's earlobe with his teeth

#SORRY ITS BAD ITS RUSHED #marauders #jegulus #marauders era #james potter #regulus black #sirius black #harry potter #jegulus microfic #microfiction #marauders fanfiction #hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry #croptopjames #croptopjames submission #james potter x regulus black #crop top james #james potter in a crop top

[unfriendlymollusk]

Chapter 63 "Elusive Creatures"

I just started this as a warm up for my head drawing homework but I ended up spending way more time on it than I should have

heheh

Ignore the poor cropping <3

#ao3 link #fanart #harry potter #hp fanart #the evans boy #sketchbook #percy weasley #cedric diggory #penelope clearwater #hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry #bad decisions #ao3 fanfic #fanfic

[shiftingwlily]

❀ shifting templates !

btw all of my templates are on notion. requests are open!

basic

empty basic

movies

alice in wonderland

bullet train

descendants

fast and furious

hogwarts

hunger games

it 2017

maze runner

metal lords

mean girls

pitch perfect

twilight

zombieland

star wars (ep 1-3 theme + ep 7-9 theme)

guardians of the galaxy

the suicide squad

shows

breaking bad

our flag means death

ms marvel

peacemaker

daybreak

derry girls

euphoria

everything sucks!

floribama shore

ginny and georgia

i am not okay with this

it’s always sunny in philidelphia

jersey shore

outer banks

on my block

pen15

peaky blinders

riverdale

sex education

stranger things

shameless

the boys

the umbrella academy

the walking dead

the 100

wednesday

znation

2 broke girls

brooklyn 99

american horror story (murder house, asylum, coven, freak show, hotel, roanoke, cult, apocalypse, 1984)

cartoons

avengers assemble

big mouth

clone high

justice league

gravity falls

monster high

rick and morty

south park

the regular show

games

the last of us

#shifting #reality shifting #desired reality #on my block #rick and morty #hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry #harry potter #big mouth #star wars #shiftingwlily #guardians of the galaxy #marvel #dcu #dc comics #alice in wonderland #descendants #fast and furious #it 2017 #maze runner #breaking bad #metal lords #pitch perfect #mean girls #derry girls #everything sucks #notion #script templates #notion scripts #shifting script #floribama shore

[boxdstars]

The ever conniving future Auror Commissioner, and the ever incompetent future Minister of Magic

i can’t believe i didn’t realize that Hector Fawley (the fantastic beasts era minister of magic) was in this game??? iconic

#this was such a trip when i put two and two together #they would LITERALLY be associates given the plot later on #he’d probably hate her in grade school tho considering he talks bad about sebastian and natty in dialogue #bless my random courtyard perusals while screenshot farming #hogwarts legacy #amara ambrose #hector fawley

[annarielmidori]

Adult Seb visiting Gaunt manor.

#hogwarts legacy #hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry #hogwarts mystery #slytherin #snake #freckles #bad boy club #avada kedavra

[icejello]

Okay svsss fandom give me your thoughts

So i was thinking about that scene where sqq jokingly asks the system if it ever worked with the harry potter franchise before and got inspired to write a harry potter au for svsss. The characters that would be involved are bingqiu and moshang but i can't figure out what Hogwarts house they would be in so do tell me your ideas.

How the story would go?

Basically the system malfunctions and suddenly transmigrated the 4 of them into the Harry Potter world. They can only escape if they help protect Harry and figure out who's the evil person trying to kill him (it's going to be centered in book 1). The problem? None of them knows about Harry Potter and so they're in a panic trying to solve who the evil person is without realizing Harry practically could not be killed because of the prophecy.

#svsss #bingqiu #moshang #harry Potter au #does this makes sense? i hope it does #will i be able to finish it fast? probably not seeing as i have 2 other wips that are still uh in progress #but i want to write them panicking in Hogwarts so bad #binghe and mobei would be the confused ones like what just happened??? what is this system??? #while qinghua and qingqiu are losing their mind yelling at the system #cue a very confused binghe going 'shizun? what just happened? do yk what this system is???' #cue mobei just staring at qinghua hard bcs he can see that qinghua seems to know what the system is and wants explanation #cue cumplane panicking about two things #1) how tf are they gonna figure out and save the kid by the end of the school term #2) how tf are they gonna explain to lbh and mbj about the system without outing themselves #they won't be part of the first years there #I'm gonna make them get isekai'd into some random made up senior students bcs i think it would be funnier #bcs then we also see them trying to figure out how to fit in their new character #also cue a confused lbh and mbj questioning the language that they're hearing for the first time #but for some reason understand it #does lbh stop calling sqq shizun? no and it complicates matters for sqq to explain to ppl who thought it was his nickname and calls him that #would sqq and sqh ever read harry potter? idk tbh but i think of them as someone who mainly reads only webnovels here so take that

[urthewolftomystar]

WHY DOES ANDREW GARFIELD SUPPORT AUTISM SPEAKS NOOOOOOOOO

#tw autism speaks #as an autistic Marauders stan I'm very disappointed and heartbroken #for those unaware #autism speaks is a hate group disguised as a charity #go look up the bs they've done because honestly there's too much to put in the tags but #just so you know autism speaks is very bad and ableist #harry potter #hogwarts #atyd fandom #marauders era #hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry #atyd marauders #remus lupin

[biaswreckmepls]

Fan-Chosen BTS fics #4 - April 2024 - Day 1

and when I'm with you I turn all shades of pink

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26191900/chapters/63736951

Author: tkfics

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Relationships: Jeon Jungkook/Kim Taehyung

Status: Completed

Chapters: 7/7 (118712 words)

Tags: Magic AU

Summary:

He glanced at the available seat next to the boy, before looking at Jeongguk again. “Mind if I sit next to you?” He asked, pointing to the empty chair.

That earned him an eyebrow raise, the closest to an actual reaction Taehyung had seen from him, and he stored that in his mind as a win.

“Why?”

He gave the younger a small shrug.

“Why not?”

or, in which light witch taehyung tries to befriend dark witch jeongguk, not realizing that their relationship would bloom into so much more.

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26191900/chapters/63736951

#fan chosen bts fics #fan chosen bts fics 4 #bts fic rec #bangtan fic rec #taekook #taekook fic rec #magic au #it's them at a magic school so like. not hogwarts. wogharts? yeah let's go with that #and when i'm with you I turn all shades of pink #tkfics #jk's a 'dark witch' and tae's a 'light' witch #and there's a bunch of rumors around how jk's a bad guy but maybe. maybe they don't know the whole story. or him for that matter #vmin besties except jimin's a little mean sometimes #100k-200k

[fanfic-lover-girl]

Hogwarts House Points System

“Right then,” said Professor McGonagall, looking up at the hour- glasses on the wall, “well, I think Potter and his friends ought to have fifty points apiece for alerting the world to the return of You-Know-Who! What say you, Professor Snape?” “What?” snapped Snape, though Harry knew he had heard per- fectly well. “Oh — well — I suppose . . .” “So that’s fifty each for Potter, the two Weasleys, Longbottom, and Miss Granger,” said Professor McGonagall, and a shower of rubies fell down into the bottom bulb of Gryffindor’s hourglass as she spoke. “Oh — and fifty for Miss Lovegood, I suppose,” she added, and a number of sapphires fell into Ravenclaw’s glass. “Now, you wanted to take ten from Mr. Potter, I think, Professor Snape — so there we are. . . .” A few rubies retreated into the upper bulb, leaving a respectable amount below nevertheless.

It is so tiring that these kids keep getting house points for non-school related things.

And McGonagall could not make it any clearer that this is nothing more than a Gryffindor cash grab. With Luna being an afterthought and all.

It would have been fairer to simply give back the points Draco and co. had unjustly taken as inquisitors. But I guess that is not dramatic enough for our heroes who are rewarded once again for being idiots.

Gryffindor house is literally the worst.

#anti minerva mcgonagall #anti professor mcgonagall #anti gryffindor house #order of the phoenix #hogwarts is a bad school #hogwarts house points system is whack #severus snape #draco malfoy #harry potter series

[mattheoriddlemarcuslopez]

another try…..

no warnings! I’m just trying to make a fanfic that’s not all smutty and angst-y (idk if that’s a word)

Who could’ve thought that a 5th year gryffindor, part of the golden quartet, be in this position? Except you knew how, you stayed behind in the library to cram some last minute studying for Snapes exam. Trying to not give him a reason to fail your O.W.L, when a sudden tall shadow towered over you and said “libraries closed, out, “Madam Pince, you thought with an eye roll.

“Okay….. I’m going” you grumbled as you packed up your things. You left the library and felt Madam Pince’s glaring eyes staring you down. As you made your way to the gryfindor common room you felt as if there still was eyes staring you down, you could feel a chill creep up on your neck. As you turned into the final corridor you got pull aside into an old broom cabinet by a pair of strong hands. You struggled to get free and got pushed into the wall, your eyes met the mysterious pair of brown eyes staring back at you. “What are you doing?” You asked Mattheo…

“You‘ll see” He replied

#harry potter #benjamin wadsworth #harry potter fanfiction #hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry #hp fanfic #marcus lopez arguello #fanfic #golden trio fanfiction #golden trio era #ronald weasley #romione #harry james potter #hermione granger #ron weasley #golden trio rp #mattheo riddle #severus snape #bad fanfiction

[cute-lil-girl]

Harry potter memes

HERMIONE : Ron let's break up!

RON : Are you fucking serious!?

HERMIONE : No I am fucking Severus!

SEVERUS (to) RON : I'm. not. sorry. about. being. hot,.

#harry potter memes #Harry potter stuff #snamione #pro severus snape #severus snape #bad batch fanfic #hermione granger #hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry #snape fandom #smexy af

[riddlerosehearts]

okay, i’m sorry but i have to be completely honest about something since that one ursula k. le guin quote about harry potter is going around: jkr is obviously a terrible person and you can think what you want about whether or not hp is well written, but ever since i was a kid i’ve never understood the idea that hogwarts is a ripoff of the school in earthsea because the school in earthsea literally barely matters at all. ged is there for like 5 minutes. hogwarts is the main setting of the entire hp series and everything practically revolves around it. the only similarity is that they’re both a magic school that the main character goes to learn at. also earthsea and harry potter are really just not that similar in terms of tone or writing style or setting or characters or anything??

#for the record MY opinion is that 'bad person automatically = bad art' is simply not how things have ever worked unfortunately #no jkr didn't invent the concept of a magic school but that doesn't mean there's nothing inventive and original about hogwarts?? #and earthsea is not something you should be recommending as an alternative to hp lol #they're so different in every way and personally it's never been to my taste #hp #only tagging that for blacklist purposes

[woman-child91]

Amortentia

Amortentia smells different to everyone. I always hear girls using three scents to describe what it smells like to them.

I think going to my daddy’s workshop as early as when I was barely 4 years old. I grew accustomed to the smell of gasoline. And I actually find the scent quite pleasing.

So I now know what Amortentia would smell like to me: Gasoline, Leather and Sandalwood.

OMG! I just described a masculine, muscular, bad boy kinda guy. Didn’t I? Like, the first man that popped into my head was one of those motorcycle/biker gang guys.

I thought I had gone from being attracted to bad boys to liking nerds. But, I guess subconsciously I’ll always be attracted to bad boys.

#hogwarts legacy #amortentia #personal #bad boys #I thought I had outgrown them after graduating from Junior High School #but apparently not