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#and i think the last time i felt that sense of community
softpine · 1 day
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can i just word vomit for a min...
there was a point in late 2023 where i felt like i overstayed my welcome on simblr and i planned on just wrapping frozen pines up as quickly as possible and moving on. continuing to write when it's clear that the audience for it is dwindling felt so embarrassing that i almost didn't even want to put effort into it anymore, because i was afraid it just looked pathetic (obligatory disclaimer: no one made me feel this way, you're all so lovely, it's just the nature of seeing a community change over 7 years). writing already feels very personal to me and it's becoming increasingly harder for me to put my work out there (again, for reasons unrelated to simblr and entirely related to mental illness 🤙🏻). i know my story is so long that it deters new readers, and so sporadic that it makes old readers drop off with time. this has really been bothering me lately because i don't know what i can do to fix it. i don't think there IS anything i can do.
but. okay. don't make fun of me for saying this. dan and phil returning to youtube kinda changed my mindset? they may be pulling a fraction of the views they got in their peak, but they're happier than they've ever been and they're working on things they actually want to do, not things they think will be particularly popular. seeing that has made me realize that it is possible to keep finding joy in a community that has largely moved on without you. obviously my little blog is nowhere near the same scale, so this feels kind of silly, but i've been thinking about all the things i used to do on simblr that were never fun for me, i mainly did them because i knew they would get notes or because i felt like i had to do it. making cc, lookbooks, sim requests, reshade help (oh my god the reshade help), lot downloads, etc. they DID get notes, but i can't imagine spending my time doing any of that stuff ever again tbh.
on top of that, it makes me sad to scroll through my dash and realize that i don't recognize most of the people i see anymore. i still talk to some wonderful people here who i consider friends and that's invaluable to me (💖), but the broader community aspect is something i no longer feel a part of. and believe me, i know i'm at fault here because it's not like i'm going out of my way to talk to new people or participate in trends like i used to. i don't blame anyone except the passage of time!!
frozen pines, and simblr by extension, played such a gigantic part in my life when i needed it the most. and that's not to say that i don't still care about it, because i absolutely do, but it's a different kind of feeling. i've always promised that i would give frozen pines a satisfying conclusion rather than silently abandoning it someday, and though i do intend to keep that promise, i know it's possible that i might never get there. but i don't want to let my own insecurities get in the way of something i really enjoy doing. writing is an intrinsic piece of me that i'll never quit doing, but sharing my writing on tumblr is something that can't (and shouldn't) last forever. i know that. but i'm going to enjoy it to the fullest while we're all still here together 💞
to anyone who's still reading my silly story after all these years (especially those of you who still check in on my blog even though you're not on simblr anymore): thank you thank you thank you THANK YOUUU. you don't have to change a single thing about what you're doing. this is not me fishing for compliments or putting down an ultimatum, this is just me trying to make sense of my feelings.
but with all this being said, i've decided to quit simblr and start my own exclusive streaming service for $60 a year, i hope you'll all support me as i increase my production value 😌
(just kidding. ily. okay that's all)
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inkskinned · 2 years
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i. about 2 weeks ago, i was told there's a good chance that in 5 or so years, i'll need a wheelchair.
ii. okay. i loved harry potter as a kid. i have a hypothesis about this to be honest - why people still kind of like it. it's that she got very lucky. she managed to make a cross-generational hit. it was something shared for both parents and kids. it was right at the start of a huge cultural shift from pre to post-internet. i genuinely think many people were just seeking community; not her writing. it was a nice shorthand to create connection. which is a long way of saying - she didn't build this legacy, we built it for her. she got lucky, just once. that's all.
iii. to be real with you, i still struggle with identifying as someone with a disability, which is wild, especially given the ways my life has changed. i always come up against internalized ableism and shame - convinced even right now that i'm faking it for attention. i passed out in a grocery store recently. i hit my head on the shelves while i went down.
iv. he raises his eyebrows while he sends me a look. her most recent new book has POTS featured in it. okay, i say. i already don't like where this is going. we both take another bite of ramen. it is a trait of the villain, he says. we both roll our eyes about it.
v. so one of the things about being nonbinary but previously super into harry potter is that i super hate jk rowling. but it is also not good for my mental health to regret any form of joy i engaged with as a kid. i can't punish my young self for being so into the books - it was a passion, and it was how i made most of my friends. everyone knew about it. i felt like everyone had my same joy, my same fixation. as a "weird kid", this sense of belonging resonated with me so loudly that i would have done anything to protect it.
vi. as a present, my parents once took me out of school to go see the second movie. it is an incredibly precious memory: my mom straight-up lying about a dentist appointment. us snickering and sneaking into the weekday matinee. within seven years of this experience, the internet would be a necessity to get my homework finished. the world had permanently changed. harry potter was a relic, a way any of us could hold onto something of the analog.
vii. by sheer luck, the year that i started figuring out the whole gender fluid thing was also the first year people started to point out that she might have some internalized biases. i remember tumblr before that; how often her name was treated as godhood. how harry potter was kind of a word synonymous for "nerdy but cool." i would walk out of that year tasting he/him and they/them; she would walk out snarling and snapping about it.
viii. when i teach older kids creative writing, i usually tell them - so, she did change the face of young adult fiction, there's no denying that. she had a lot more opportunities than many of us will - there were more publishing houses, less push for "virally" popular content creators. but beyond reading another book, we need to write more books. we need to uplift the voices of those who remain unrepresented. we need to push for an exposure to the bigotry baked into the publishing system. and i promise you: you can write better than she ever did. nothing she did was what was magical - it was the way that the community responded to it.
ix. i get home from ramen. three other people have screenshotted the POTS thing and sent it to me. can you fucking believe we're still hearing this shit from her when it's almost twenty-fucking-twenty-three. the villain is notably also popular on tumblr. i just think that's funny. this woman is a billionaire and she's mad that she can't control the opinions of some people on a dying blue site that makes no money. lady, and i mean this - get a fucking life.
x. i am sorry to the kid i was. maybe the kid you were too. none of us deserved to see something like this ruined. that thing used to be precious to me. and now - all those good times; measured into dust.
/// 9.6.2022 // FUCKING AGAIN, JK? Are you fucking kidding me?
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godofsmallthings · 4 months
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i wish i could take the time to parse through my taylor swift is/isn't a gay icon thoughts on here but i fear people on this website don't know how to behave
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deathmycotime · 3 months
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i cant stop thinking about noctis and aeron whenever i watch koisenu futari it just drives me off the rails into the ocean
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kathaynesart · 15 days
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The eye of the hurricane. I like to think Cassandra sometimes called the brothers by the nicknames their dad used, given they were probably pretty close before his passing.
BEGINNING || PREVIOUS || NEXT (SOON) MASTER POST
Man oh man, this one was way messier and off model than my last few updates but whatever, we got to keep this ball rolling! Life's been crazy so I've had to take some unwanted breaks in between updates. Thanks everyone for your patience as always!
One thing I wanted in this flashback was to really get a sense of how the brothers worked as an experienced team with Leo at the helm as a proper leader. It's something we never got to see much of in Rise and I felt it was important to include since half the team is already gone by the time of Replica. Team Dynamics Ted Talk under the cut!
We know from Casey Jr that Leo stressed the importance of listening to your team. A big part of that also means knowing how to communicate with them in general.
With Michelangelo, he keeps it short and succinct, trusting his brother to know what he's doing when in his element. This trust goes a long way with Mikey, having spent years of his youth as the baby striving for the respect he felt he deserved. Leo knows it's best to not bog Mikey down with details, allowing him to improvise as needed. This unspoken freedom has only grown over time as Mikey has dipped deeper into spiritual arts that, frankly, go completely over Leo's head.
The greatest sacrifice Leo has ever made was read Donnie's Big Book of Bad Guy Codes. While he doesn't remember ALL the numbers, he has memorized the ones that matter and it has helped tremendously in avoiding miscommunication with his genius brother. More importantly it silenced any of Donnie's usual belly-aching. As Leo's "twin"/"equal" the two still butt heads from time to time. Donnie respects his brother's authority (mostly) but will still push the boundaries of what he's allowed on a semi-regular basis. Give Donnie an inch and he will take the mile and then find a loop hole that allows him to go twenty miles more. This is partially due to him often being the one left behind at HQ, making the turtle just a TAD stir crazy. Leo does his best to keep him in line regardless.
Big brother Raph will forever and always be big brother to Leo. As such he holds a place of authority in Leo's heart and is someone he still regularly seeks counsel from in both the ways of leadership and more. Raph is always happy to support his younger brother and does a surprisingly good job (albeit after years of practice) of walking the line so as not to step on his brother's toes in the process. At least not since the secret of "the Key" blew up in their faces several years ago. They don't talk about that anymore. Leo is the leader now and he's done a great job in recent years as far as Raph is concerned. He trusts him to make the right call. The two have a close bond and regularly use mind meld to quickly communicate rather than speak ...this will be important to remember for the future.
Hope that overall feeling came through for this group!
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reasoningdaily · 11 months
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My former U.S. Track and Field teammate Tori Bowie, who was found dead in her home in Florida on May 2, of complications related to childbirth at 8 months pregnant, was a beautiful runner. She was effortless. At the Rio Olympics, I ran the second leg of the 4 x 100 relay. Tori was the anchor. When she got the baton, I remember thinking, “it’s over.” She just accelerated. When she crossed the finish line, I couldn’t wait to run over to her to celebrate. It was her first, and only, Olympic gold medal.
She also picked up a silver (in the 100-m) and bronze (200-m) in Brazil. The next year, at the 2017 World Championships in London, Tori won the 100-m title, earning the title of “world’s fastest woman.” Tori started out as a long jumper. So seeing her thrive as a sprinter was a huge deal. She was just such a bright light, and people were getting to see that.
Tori grew up in Mississippi and had this huge Southern accent. She didn’t take herself too seriously. You felt this sense of ease when you were around her. I last saw her in early 2021, in San Diego, where she was training. She gave me the biggest hug; something about her spirit was just very, very sweet. I felt her sweetness come over me that day.
Tori was 32 when she died. According to the autopsy, possible complications contributing to Bowie’s death included respiratory distress and eclampsia—seizures brought on by preeclampsia, a high blood pressure disorder that can occur during pregnancy. I developed preeclampsia during my pregnancy with my daughter Camryn, who was born in November 2018. The doctors sent me to the hospital, where I would deliver Camryn during an emergency C-section, at 32 weeks. I was unsure if I was going to make it. If I was ever going to hold my precious daughter.
Like so many Black women, I was unaware of the risks I faced while pregnant. According to the CDC, in 2021 the maternal mortality rate for Black women was 2.6 times the rate for white women. About five days before I gave birth to Camryn, I was having Thanksgiving dinner with my family. I mentioned that my feet were swollen. As we went around the table, the women shared their experiences during pregnancy. My cousin said she also had swollen feet. My mom didn’t. Not once did someone say, ‘oh, well, that’s one of the indicators of preeclampsia.’ None of us knew. When I became pregnant, my doctor didn’t sit me down and tell me, ‘these are things that you should look for in your pregnancy, because you are at a greater risk to experience these complications.’
That needs to change, now, especially in light of Tori’s tragic passing. Awareness is huge. Serena Williams had near-death complications during her pregnancy. Beyoncé developed preeclampsia. I hate that it takes Tori’s situation to put this back on the map and to get people to pay attention to it. But oftentimes, we need that wake-up call.
The medical community must do its part. There are so many stories of women dying who haven’t been heard. Doctors really need to hear the pain of Black women.
Luckily, there’s hope on several fronts. Congress has introduced the Momnibus Act, a package of 13 bills crafted to eliminate racial disparities in maternal health and improve outcomes across the board. California passed Momnibus legislation back in 2021. These laws make critical investments in areas like housing, nutrition, and transportation for underserved communities. Further, several pharmaceutical companies are making advances on early detection and treatment of preeclampsia.
Three gold medalists from that 4 x 100 relay team in Rio set out to become mothers. All three of us—all Black women—had serious complications. Tianna Madison has shared that she went into labor at 26 weeks and entered the hospital “with my medical advance directive AND my will.” Tori passed away. We’re dealing with a Black Maternal Health crisis. Here you have three Olympic champions, and we’re still at risk.
I would love to have another child. That’s something that I know for sure. But will I be here to raise that child? That’s a very real concern. And that’s a terrifying thing. This is America, in 2023, and Black women are dying while giving birth. It’s absurd.
I’m hopeful that things can get better. I’m hopeful that Tori, who stood on the podium at Rio, gold around her neck and sweetness in her soul, won’t die in vain.
—as told to Sean Gregory
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mosovi-vian · 11 months
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And I will stay alive for my future self, so they can one day learn to be kind to who I was as a child. And I will teach them to honor who we used to be, so they can remember the comfort of what once was our untempered flesh and gentle soul. Me and myself are each a fresh wound and a rough scab, bearing respectively the gift of green faith and honed will.
This has been in my draft for a while because I was determined to post this only after I knew what I should write underneath it. I’ve read a lot on the concept of healing the wounded inner child since even before my c-ptsd diagnosis. However, I’ve sought as much comfort in my little self as they had in me. Looking back, I was an impressively emotionally-intuitive kid. I remember well how I used to think, the things I would write to my future self; they were wiser and gentler than I could ever hope to be as an adult. Needless to say, the little poem above is inspired by the aforementioned experience. Sure, big me is armed with a more developed pre-frontal cortex and access to invaluable resources (coping mechanisms, therapy, on and offline communities) , but I struggle to rediscover/reinvent my identity. Little me was the biggest vestige of my lost personhood. So yeah, this might be just a huge self-indulgent projection with my favorite character, but thinking that post-S3 Hunter would also be in my shoes is not completely baseless. 16yrs old Hunter is the fresh wound (a lot of things happened before his teen years, but I’m going to interpret the events of Hollow Mind - which happened when Hunter was 16 - as the ultimate boiling point in his trauma timeline, hence the ‘fresh wound') and 20yrs old Hunter is the rough scab. Each version of Hunter could be dealing with a different set of trauma-induced symptoms. I think his loyalty to Belos kept him going as a child. Being doubtless was important to Hunter back then; it held his sense of self together. And maybe when he survived and was rewarded the time and space to grow into his own person and live for himself, there was this lasting emptiness. I feel this sort of emptiness even today. My only reference of what ‘wholeness’ felt like was when I was obedient to my family. I equated self-abandonment as the righteous norm. The symptoms I deal with today are definitely different from when I was Hunter’s age pre-time-skip. Now that Hunter is in a safe space and an adult post-time skip, he might also need to seek that strength from his younger self. Reminding himself of how far he’s come and the parts of him that he'd like to keep from his past. The parts that he knows in his bones are purely his - not instilled by Belos, not inherited from Caleb.
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autistichalsin · 22 days
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Some of my favorite, understated moments with heartbreaking implications for Halsin
1. Halsin threatening to turn into a mouse in the epilogue if the player brags about his achievements- he's so shy and humble that just being acknowledged for LITERALLY BUILDING A COMMUNE HIMSELF makes him want to hide. A mouse is a very symbolic choice here: not only easy to hide, but also easily overlooked and forgotten. The idea of his accomplishments being acknowledged is so terrifying for him that he wants to turn into an animal no one will notice, instead of his usual strong, large, noticeable bear.
2. "Sometimes, I think people look at me and imagine my feelings can't be hurt." This isn't the kind of thing that happens after one or two people act like jerks. This is years and years of cruel treatment, of his emotions being demeaned and mocked because of his size. Of people judging him before even meeting him- and forming an entirely wrong view of him. Halsin is a bighearted, tender, sentimental man, yet because he's big... Well, big people don't have feelings, surely. /s
3. "You and I may struggle to go unnoticed in such environs, Karlach[...] Folk of our stature can be a lure for drunkards seeking a brawl, I have found," combined with, "There is a particular discomfort to besting one you know to be weaker than yourself - even when needs must," from a different scene. People have sought him out and fought him because of his size (which had to have been terrifying, especially the first time), and he feels guilty when he takes out someone he knows is weaker, even if they STARTED it. How many times has the poor guy been traveling and then had to defend himself against someone 1/2 his size, making HIM look like the asshole to onlookers, and reinforcing that whole "people think I can't be hurt" thing?
4. "It was always destined to be so, if we prevailed. But the foreknowledge makes it no less bittersweet..." (About the players' paths diverging post brain battle), combined with "I see... After all my years of living, I know all too well that nothing lasts forever. Yet a parting can sting, nonetheless," if the player breaks up with him in the ending. This poor guy was having the time of his life adventuring with the group (and possibly falling in love there) yet never believed it would truly last (because of his abandonment issues). And then to have it confirmed.... he must have felt so awful in that moment, even if he was being dignified about it.
5. "You came for me... thank you. I feared Orin's accursed smile would be the very last sight I beheld," when Halsin is freed from Orin, combined with, "Orin's blades. I hoped my friends would save me..." If he is killed by Orin instead and Speak With the Dead is used on his corpse. The tone of his voice in the first line, especially added to that bit in the second... he never thought the player was coming to save him. He HOPED they would. Not "believed". Hoped. He thought he was going to die there- just like how he was in the Underdark for THREE YEARS and no one came to save him. And if it's confirmed... Yeah. That. (Sidenote: if you ask his corpse if he has any regrets, he says not telling Thaniel and Oliver goodbye, and not getting to see their land flourish. :( My heart. :( )
6. "I... have not had true confidantes for some time. The Shadow Curse robbed me of almost all my peers, and replaced them with the weight of responsibility. Perhaps that caused me to gild undeserving memories of my youth." Halsin was so miserable and stressed being Archdruid that he romanticized his past as a sex slave, viewing it as a safer, even happier alternative. There were actually times when Halsin thought he might rather be a sex slave than continue to be Archdruid. In a sense, for the 100 years the Shadow Curse was around, Halsin was just as much a prisoner as Thaniel was in the Shadowfell, but Halsin's prison had invisible bars. The Shadow Curse took away his entire support system, and being Archdruid forced him to be the strong one, always, never allowed to be weak or scared, forced him to take control of situations when he hated it, forced him to spend his time sorting out people instead of being in nature. And he was MISERABLE. For 100 years.
7. "You understand me almost perfectly. Only my late mother may have bested you." (Said if you get one question wrong at the love dryad test). He misses his mama. :( Especially when you consider that if you steal Balthazar's "Mother Dearest" and taunt him about it, Halsin disapproves (and is the only one to do so), while returning her gets you approval (which only Halsin approves of). And then the line when you look into a mirror while controlling him, "more like my father, with each passing day..." He really misses them. :(
8. "I am loathe to see anyone behind bars. It reminds me of my time as a guest of the goblins." He is, secretly, still quite traumatized from his time in the goblin pens, but he brushes it off. Just like every OTHER time he is hurt.
9. "I am aware [of having a habit of getting captured]. Perhaps I put too much faith in my skills of negotiation, or want to see good where there is none. It would be easy to resort to nature's fury whenever something stood in my way, yet I cannot help but feel I would be sullying the Oak Father's gifts. Naive perhaps... but I still draw breath." Halsin is aware he gets hurt often because of his desire to see good in people until he has no other choice, but refuses to give up anyway (which is backed up by that letter Gut had on her where she reveals Halsin TRIED to help the goblins, saying he could cure them of their tadpoles, only to be thrown in the cage, with Gut threatening to have his stomach cut open and maggots placed inside it.) Further, even though he is an Archdruid, and one of the most devoted, and explicitly has Silvanus's favor (Halsin says that gaining his favor was the only way he was able to open the portal to the Shadowfell), he still constantly worries about using Silvanus's powers, to the point of wondering if an actual threat to his safety actually merits using his powers. Which... combined with some other stuff, reads like one hell of a problem with self-worth.
10. "At least you were not present. Grim as [the ruined battlefield] is now, it was worse on the day of the battle. A vivid wound upon my memory[...] I was lucky - I lived, when so many did not. It would take me a day and a night to recite the names of all the friends I lost" combined with, "I was [present when the Shadow Curse was unleashed]. Part of my spirit was shorn away from me here, and never left," and, if Last Light falls, "All gone... devoured by the shadows. Oak Father preserve us, it's just like a hundred years ago[...] We are [still standing]. Yet there is a burden to being the survivor... the witness to others' tragedies. It only grows heavier with time." He has so much PTSD and survivor guilt from the Shadow Curse. :( No wonder it's all he can think about- to the point that some of the other companions even get annoyed at him for his obsession.
11. "I never quite realised how burdened I was, until I met you. The threat of the shadow curse, the politics of the grove... I was forgetting who I was, but you lifted the fog. Thank you." Not only does this tie in with the above, with his PTSD from the curse and his utter misery at being Archdruid, but this HEAVILY implies Halsin had depression. Like... that "fog" line hits HARD if you have or have had depression, because that's exactly what it feels like. And the "forgetting who I was" bit too. Not just losing his sense of self to the depression, but to the neverending responsibilities of being Archdruid. I keep repeating myself, but damn, this guy has really and truly spent an entire century being absolutely MISERABLE. :(
12. "Forgive me. I... lost the run of myself. Sometimes, if blood runs hot enough, it's difficult to tame the beast." With that little disgusted groan/sigh, the fury and disgust at himself visible on his face, and the way he rushes to get out the rest of it- he thinks he fucked up so badly that you're about to leave him, maybe forever. And then if you reject him after this? "Ah... I see. Well, of course. Back to camp then." He has the most heartbroken look on his face here, and the way he says "of course" like he just... knew this was coming the instant he accidentally wildshaped. He felt that the first time he let ANY of his imperfections show, the player would leave him. :(
13. "Death is nature's final slumber - it awaits us all. Do not punish yourself over those lost, or give in to despair - not while there are still folk in need of your help." (Said to a Dark Urge if they tell him they're not much of a hero and most people needing them end up dead) Not only is Halsin speaking from experience here, but it's very clear he is STILL doing exactly what he tells Durge not to do, to himself- punishing himself over those who were lost, struggling with devastating survivor guilt.
14. "The grove has cut itself off from the world, to jealously guard its own little pocket of nature. No one shall ever enter or leave again. And I have been evicted from the very place I was charged to safeguard. A telling summary of my time as Archdruid, perhaps..." If the Grove is sealed and you ask him about it later, this is what he says. Interesting that he views being evicted from the place he was in charge of protecting to be a "telling summary." He was forced to take the leadership role there, and yet it was clear he wasn't wanted or respected by a great number of the Druids (exempting Nettie, Rath, and Apikusis). He got a truly thankless job that took damn near EVERYTHING from him emotionally/mentally, causing him to develop depression and causing him to backslide in his previous healing from his trauma from his time as a sex slave, he still gave EVERYTHING to the Grove, and in return...... almost none of his Druids appreciated or even liked him. (I could seriously write at least five metas about how obviously miserable Halsin was at the Grove, despite caring for it deeply).
15. "You could have done anything, gone with anyone... yet you chose me." Said at the epilogue to a solo romanced player who went to the commune with him. There's so many layers of heartbreak here. He is still surprised, six months later, that the player chose him. He even thinks the player will regret it, and will decide they want an adventurer's life after all after seeing everyone else. He doesn't think he is good enough- doesn't think he deserves the player, and yet at the same time he loves them so much that he is heartbroken over the possibility they might agree with him. He thinks that given a chance, there is little chance they would actually choose him again. (He is put at ease quickly when the player promises they picked him for a reason, but even the explanation he gives for why he was so worrie is heartbreaking- that he's so used to a tumultuous life that he thinks something must go wrong. He has been so traumatized so many times over the years that he just has almost no ability to think that true happiness is possible [or deserved] for him.) Something about that is just heartbreaking, even though his ending is one of the happiest of any of the companions.
Someone give this sweet bear man a hug, please :(
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ellecdc · 2 months
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hi lovie !
I ADORE your writing and get so excited everytime you post 😭
I wanted to ask if you’re okay with writing a poly!marauders x reader fic where r is an overthinker and over analyzes small things. It brings r to think the boys are mad at reader so r begins to close off— happy ending w/ healthy communication, just them reassuring r
🤍you can absolutely ignore this!!
thank you baby! I'm so glad to have you here with me 😭 thanks for your request 🫶
poly!marauders x fem!reader
CW: insecurities, overthinking, belief of conflict, eventual healthy communication skills, men behaving rationally (that's how you know it's fiction) jkjkjkjkjk 👀
You knew you were overthinking; you could actually hear yourself spiraling as you chewed aggressively on your cuticles. You ran through every single interaction you and the boys had throughout the past few days and couldn’t help but come to the same conclusion every time.
They were mad at you.
And even saying it aloud made you feel silly because, really, what could you have possibly done that would have managed to upset all three of them without knowing about it?
There had been a few disagreements between the four of you since the beginning of the relationship; more specifically since you had joined the relationship. 
The boys, it seemed, went through most of their more volatile fights prior to you meeting them. 
But that didn’t mean there weren’t arguments. There were always differences of opinions, some hurt feelings, and learning everyone’s sensitivities and love languages etc. didn’t happen overnight; it took time.
One thing you were particularly thankful for was that you had yet to ever feel like the boys were ‘ganging up’ on you. Your argument always stayed between you and the participant of the conversation and everyone else opted to stay out of it unless they felt they could provide some helpful insight. 
But for all of them to be mad at you without some big blow up happening? You couldn't imagine what would have caused it.
It wouldn’t have been anything you said or done to Sirius, as he was a very head strong person who preferred to face things upfront and head on. If you had done something wrong to Sirius, you would have heard about it. 
James was a wild card since he usually wore his feelings on his sleeve, but he also had a tendency to paint a smile on his face and smile through the pain in order to keep the peace. 
Remus was often stoic and the voice of reason, but you also knew he could be incredibly sensitive.
Oh god... had you done something to upset Remus? You must have...it’s the only rational explanation. He’d likely be telling Sirius not to say anything to you, and since Sirius struggled in biting his tongue, it would make sense that he opt for the “if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all” route.
And though James did tend to smile through the pain in order to keep the peace, he was also fiercely protective of his people – particularly when those people don’t seem inclined to stand up for themselves.
Oh god. Is this why they asked you to come over tonight? They wanted to talk to you...no, they wanted to break up with you. 
By the time James opened the door, you had forgotten you even knocked. He was all bright smiles until he took in your form – he was disappointed to see you. 
“Hello, honey. Come on in.” He said, though his words were stilted, sounding oddly scripted and rehearsed. 
“Hey sweets!” Sirius called from somewhere in their flat, “have you eaten yet?”
“Yeah.” You called back, having to clear your throat when your voice came out gravelly. You could feel James’ eyes burning a hole into the side of your face.
“Moony’s running late from work, but he’ll be home soon.” James announced as he ushered you into the living room.
You scanned your surroundings, cataloguing everything like it might be your last time in here.
You found signs of Remus’ love of trinkets and the oddities everywhere you looked, as well as signs of James and Sirius feeding into that by bringing him home things they’ve found as well. There’s a small pewter fox you bought on your trip to the coast sitting on one of the shelves of his bookcase.
Picture frames lined the walls; evidence of Sirius’ love for photography, his camera, and his favourite people.
And the god-awful pillow James found at an estate sale and insisted it have a place on the couch. It was ugly, it was lumpy, it didn’t match with anything else in the space, but it was James’ and he loved it.
Sirius came bounding into the room and rubbed at James’ shoulder affectionately, pecking a quick kiss to the crown of your head in hello before breezing by to head to the kitchen.
“He just got a home a few moments ago, he’s gonna heat up some leftovers for him and for Remus when he gets home.” James explained.
“Do you want any, doll?” Sirius called.
“No, I’m okay. Thank you!” You tried your best to sound upbeat while a horrid feeling settled in your stomach.
James seemed to feel just as awkward as you did; keeping his eyes dutifully on you whilst trying to appear that he wasn’t. His leg bounced anxiously underneath him as he leaned onto the arm of the grandfather chair he sat in – across the room from you.
It may as well have been an ocean worth of distance with the way it left you feeling.
Sirius returned to the living room a few moments later and made himself comfortable on the other end of the couch from you, kicking his feet up onto the coffee table after placing a glass of water directly on the coffee table. You wanted to chide him, knowing Remus would have him by the bollocks if he saw, but you didn’t know if it was your place anymore.
Sirius asked you how your day at work was and you offered him a vague “oh it was alright. Long. How about yours?” which started him on a long tangent about some of his more colourful customers today and how tiresome he found people in general. He and James shared some quips and anecdotes about worst moments in their various retail experiences, and you thought about how much you were going to miss this.
“Okay, what is going on?” Sirius snapped abruptly, causing your head to shoot up so quickly that you heard it crack.
“Huh?” You asked sheepishly.
Sirius’ brows furrowed as he stole a glance at James before turning back to you. “You’re being weird...what’s going on with you?”
But you didn’t get a chance to answer when the sound of the front door alerted everyone to Remus’ arrival. You hated that you visibly tensed at the sound of him moving down the hall.
“Hey bubs. Is she here?” You heard him ask James, since you and Sirius couldn’t yet see him nor he you from his position in the hall way.
You felt your face scrunch up miserably and quickly brought your hands up to shield your face, choking out a silent sob.
“Yeah.” James responded, though his voice was but a whisper as Sirius added a “whoa” at the same time. 
“What did you guys do?” Remus cooed and made his way towards you having spotted your distress.
“I’m sorry.” You muttered miserably, both for whatever you’d done to cause this conflict between the four of you and also for your embarrassing display of emotions.
“What are you sorry for, dovey?” Remus asked softly as he knelt in front of you, gently taking your wrists and coaxing them away from your face. 
“For upsetting you all.”
Remus’ brows furrowed beyond their worried state and into a more confused state as he turned to look at the other two boys in bemusement. 
“Well, I don’t think any of us are happy that you’re so upset, love, but we’re not upset. You don’t have to apologize.” He pressed.
“I don’t think that’s what this is.” James input from his place across the room.
“I’m sorry. I’m not quite sure why you’re mad at me, but I’d like to talk about it with you and I promise not to do it again.” You cried, sounding disturbingly and embarrassingly close to begging.
“Mad at you? Is that why you’ve been such a weirdo tonight? You thought we were mad at you?” Sirius asked incredulously.
“Don’t call her a weirdo, Pads!” James chided, standing from his chair. 
“Why’d you think everyone was mad at you, dove?” Remus asked, ignoring the squawking of his boyfriends behind him as he forced you to hold eye contact with him.
“I... I don’t know, I guess things just felt kind of off this week and then...I don’t know.” You admitted dumbly. “And then I got here and, it just felt weird.”
“I’m sorry, angel.” James apologized, suddenly beside you having taken to sitting directly on top of (a very petulant) Sirius. “You seemed distressed and... I got nervous. Usually, Rem is the better one at handling these things, I wanted to wait until he got here to broach the subject. Sirius, though, has the tact of a bull.”
“So, you were just going to let all of us sit here awkwardly until Remus got here to save the day, huh? Not on my fucking watch.” Sirius groaned as he positioned himself to kick James not only off of him, but off the couch completely. This caused Sirius’ glass of water to topple off the coffee table and onto the rug below it.
“Nice going, Prongs,” Sirius spat victoriously from his place on the couch, “look at the mess you’ve made.”
“It wasn’t even my cup!” James defended.
“Don’t think I didn’t notice that wasn’t on a fuckin' coaster, Sirius.” Remus reproached darkly, tossing the dark-haired boy a glare over his shoulder.
Sirius just smirked and then winked at you. “There you go, dollface, now everyone’s mad at me instead.”
“Awe, Pads!” James cooed from the ground before launching himself back onto Sirius. “Look at you, taking the heat off our pretty girl.”
Remus shook his head in exhaustion, but you could see a fond smile ghosting his lips from his place before you.
“Trust me, dove. You’re the least of our problems.”
You chuckled wetly and wiped the tears (and more embarrassingly, the snot) from your face. “I’m sorry. I feel rather silly now.”
Sirius, having given up on his instance to be the little spoon between he and James, looked around James’ broad frame in his lap to face you. “How about this; if we’re ever upset with you, we promise to tell you. If we haven’t said anything; it’s safe to assume we’re not mad. Okay?”
You nodded in agreement.
“And...” James continued. “Next time you find yourself feeling like this, maybe you can tell us, too?”
You nodded emphatically. “Yes, I promise. I’m sorry.”
Remus kissed the backs of both of your hands and stood from his knelt position in front of you.
“No more sorry’s, dove. We’re all good.”
James stood from Sirius’ lap to place a warm kiss to the space between your cheek and ear and whispered another apology for your being upset.
“Hey, Moons?” Sirius called.
“Yeah?”
“Are you heading to the kitchen?” He called with the sort of smirk that caused you and James to exchange a suspicious look.
“Yeah.”
“Can you grab me a glass of water, please?”
“Fuckin’ hell Sirius get off your arse. And use a sodding coaster.” Remus bellowed from the bedroom.
“See? You’re the least of our problems.” James repeated, stamping another kiss to your cheek. 
869 notes · View notes
vcnillazelda · 1 year
Note
Hi! ^^ I don't know if you're still taking requests. I'm kind of new around here.
So If you can, I'd like to ask for headcanons or a scenario where Ghost / Soap / König has a crush on a recruit girl who is a very skilled sniper, but is constantly underestimated and even excluded by other military personnel for being short and mute?
ghost, soap and könig crushing on mute! recruit! reader
tags: pining, eventual relationship/getting together, confessions, protective! simon, könig’s is really long i’m sorry 😭
johnny and könig under cut
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a/n: aaaaa this is adorable
✞———————❖———————✞
ghost
he’s nervous around you ngl
full on like palms sweaty and mild stammering it’s so cute
the fact you’re mute is kind of appealing to him, he likes your company because you don’t bother him like johnny does, you’ll listen if he speaks and offer some communication sometimes albeit his sign language is rusty
the moment he realised he’s in love with you is the first mission you went on. he’s seeking you out, knowing he can’t ask your location because you couldn’t respond. he gets a little anxious due to the lack of communication, it’s what keeps him sane, knowing his colleagues are okay.
he gets you a special radio so you can communicate better, putting an extra button on so you could beep it. one for yes, two for no, three for ‘i’m in danger’, yet simon’s the only one to know about that last one
is extremely impressed by your aim, the moment he saw a sliver of a man in a window you took him down.
back on base, he notices other rookies leaving you out of training, so you’d have no one to train with.
pulls you from that training session and offers private training with him (1. because he wants to help and feels bad you’re being ostracised, 2. because he wants to spend time with you and be close to you).
when he confessed to you and asked if you felt the same he thought it would be the end of everything, but you gave him a kind smile and nodded- simon has never been so happy
he’s nervous about dating, it’s been a long time and he’s not exactly a model lover or a ‘good man’, so you’ll have to be a little patient with him
soon after dating, he sticks around you all the time, hovering in your space whilst you’re practicing longer distance shots
no one dares to leave you out of anything when he’s by your side <3
-
johnny
he immediately befriends you, happily chatting away- he does enough talking for the both of you
doesnt realise you’re mute at first, he starts to think you don’t like him until you give him a note explaining your situation, he’s so relieved
people leaving you out? not when johnny’s here! he’ll argue with people before pulling you from that training group and into his own- he convinced price pretty easily due to your file being full of good comments from higher ups + your aim was incredible
is literally your best friend when you join 141 and then ghost team, he’s all smiley and talks for you
he doesn’t even need to communicate with you anymore to talk for you, he’s got a sixth sense for that type of thing it’s crazy
the moment he realised he loved you was when he was done arguing with someone about excluding you, then when he walked back to you, you had a sweet smile on your face, thanking him
because you’re short, he’ll 100% use your head as an armrest btw
he confesses in a pretty old-school way, a note, flowers and a sheepish grin on his face
when you hug him tight and nod he’s over the moon, scooping you into a bear hug and kissing your cheek
he’s much more straightforward and quick than simon, so if you feel your relationships moving too fast you’ve got to tell him lol
adores you and always praises your aim on missions
will always stick up for you, no matter what.
will want you to meet his family- and he comes from a large scottish family so be ready for that 😭
will get slightly jealous when you befriend his baby brother, agreeing to play games with him- this wasn’t meant to happen, you two just clicked and now johnny’s stuck between you two
gets all clingy afterwards, asking for your attention back- he’s so childish sometimes aidjdifjdfkdien
loves going out to places with you, so 100% your first date is in a nice restaurant tucked away in a nook in his hometown :)
-
könig
when he sees you being openly left out of things he genuinely feels for you, considering he was heavily bullied in school
he even gets left out of things now, and he’s one of the top snipers on the force
approaches you, hoping he doesn’t look to intimidating, and asks if you want to train with him
he’s dreading you saying no, but when you smile and accept he’s quite happy
he’s used to training alone, so there’s not much conversation as the two of you work on your aim
eventually, after a few training sessions, he strikes up a few conversations.
gets extremely anxious when you don’t respond, because he’s too busy looking down his scope to look at you, and drops it
you catch on that he’s put off and give him a small note explaining you’re mute
he’s so happy you don’t hate him because deep down he wants to be friends
soon after becoming friends, you don’t care that you’re being left out of things because you just blow them off and go hang out with your extremely tall austrian friend :)
the height difference between you two is very noticeable so some other operators start calling you two ‘big and small’ 😭
you’re the first person he tells his name to, he wants you to trust him and also wants you to know he trusts you
takes time out of his day to learn sign language so the two of you can talk easier, it’s really sweet to peer into his room and see him slowly practicing hand movements
the moment he realised he loved you was when the two of you were in his room, some soft music playing as you wrote something in your journal- you looked perfect in the lamplight and he wanted to kiss you
gets extremely anxious over the idea of liking you more than a friend, he doesn’t want to lose this friendship and has never actually dated anyone before considering he’s such a loner
he asks you out in a completely different way. leaves a note on your bed but isn’t there at all, doesn’t want to face rejection.
it’s easier on him because if you do reject him he can just pretend it never happened because he wasn’t there
when you sign the note saying ‘yes :)’ and leave it on his bed he’s so happy, immediately running to the practice range and hugging you
people ask what happened because it’s so out of character for him to hug someone, and he’ll just state that something good happened
is a very hands on, clingy lover. he’s never been in a relationship before and he didn’t realise at the time how starved he was for any type of affection that wasn’t maternal (he’s a mommas boy come on now)
speaking of which, if you agree to meet his mother he’s gonna kiss you immediately. is so delighted because off base his mother is the most important thing to him
she’s lovely too, never pressures you to talk despite not entirely understanding why you’re mute. gives you plenty of austrian food you’ve probably never had before and gives amazing hugs, she’s so happy her son found a girlfriend :)
5K notes · View notes
lostgirlmuseum · 3 months
Text
honey
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Pairing: Bucky Barnes x f!Reader
Words: 2.7k
Summary: Bucky notices you've been acting really strange lately... like, really strange. And flirty? What happened to you, and are your eyes... glowing?
Warnings: Mentions of reader having hair long enough to twirl, kissing w/o consent??? No use of y/n.
A/N: Hiiii. um. Is this bad? At first I didn't think so but then Idk I was like.. this isn't good. But then I was like, no it's fine... and then I was like no it's terrible, and now I'm like.. it's okay! I think? I'm sorry.
Dividers: @firefly-graphics, moodboard by me (more info at the end.)
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It was late, and you felt sleep tug at your eyelids as you shut the door to the communal living room, a room you had to pass through to get to your bedroom. You were ready to get out of your street clothes, dry your damp hair, and get some shut-eye.
“Where have you been?” A gruff voice sounded and was quickly followed by the ‘click’ of a lamp and a dim light illuminating the figure seated in the corner of the room.
“Jesus!” You clutched your chest and nearly dropped your bag. “Fuck, Bucky, you scared the shit out of me. What the hell are you doing lurking in the dark?” You whispered harshly, although it was unnecessary. No one sleeping would be able to hear you from the living room.
“It’s three in the morning.” He stated, unmoving.
“I’m aware. Thanks.” 
“This is the sixth time in two weeks you’ve come home this late.” His voice remained low, his tone both bored and accusatory.
“So you’re watching me now?” You scoffed, your heartbeat finally slowing from his previous scare.
“Our rooms are right next to each other, I know when you’re not in there.” 
“Perv.” You rolled your eyes.
“I’m going to ignore that.” 
“Good night,” you offered and began to leave the room.
“You haven’t answered my question yet.” He leaned forward in his seat and placed his forearms on his thighs.
“My whereabouts aren’t your business.” You stopped at the doorway and spoke over your shoulder.
“Your whereabouts became my business the second it started affecting your ability in the field.” He stood up and took a couple of steps towards you.
“You don’t need to worry about me.”
“I worry that your negligence and refusal to take care of yourself is going to result in a failed mission, or maybe even you getting a fellow teammate hurt.”
“Aw, and for a second I thought you might actually care about me.” You faked a pout and continued your way down the hall and to your room. He followed you the entire way, not saying anything. 
“My abilities are fine,” you stated, holding your ID up to the pad that would scan and unlock your door.
“You’ve been missing morning training, you’re slower than usual, and you’ve practically been falling asleep in your breakfast.” He sidestepped you to get a better view of your face.
You ignored Friday’s “Welcome back,” chime and stepped inside your room.
“Careful now, or I might start to suspect you’re a stalker.” You teased and began to close your door on him, but he pushed it back open.
“And why the hell is your hair damp? Because I know it wasn’t raining outside.”
“I’m going to bed now, Barnes.”
“If you don’t tell me where you’ve been I’ll bring my concerns to Steve.”
You rolled your eyes at his intense stare. “I’ve been doing some research.”
“On?” He lowered his hand from the door at your answer, secretly surprised you’d actually given him something.
“Nunya.”
“What’s—”
“Nunya business,” you laughed and slammed the door shut before he realized what you’d done.
You stifled a laugh at the grumbles you heard from behind your door and imagined how funny he looked out there. Fool.
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Bucky stood at the kitchen counter pouring syrup on his waffles, trying his hardest not to think about the events of last night. Just as his frustration was slipping his mind, he heard footsteps entering the room. 
“Hi,” he offered roughly, not bothering to look up from his waffles as he could sense that it was you.
“Hey, pretty baby.”
Bucky choked on air and dropped the syrup bottle onto his plate, regrettably spilling half the container onto his now soggy waffles.
“Wh—what?” he tried to compose himself, eyebrows pinched in shock and confusion as he finally looked up at you.
“Pass me that peach, won’t you? I’m famished.” You slid onto a seat at the counter that Bucky was on the other side of, and pointed to the fruit bowl to his right.
Bucky, suddenly too stunned to speak, wordlessly handed you the peach. Only after watching you take a couple of bites did he find his words again. 
“What’s up with you?” He asked, suspicion lacing his tone.
“A girl can’t be hungry?” You wiped some juice from your mouth with the back of your hand and tilted your head innocently.
“What are you wearing?” His gaze shifted to your glamorous outfit, one he was shocked that you owned. He had never seen you dressed up so much. 
“Oh, this?” You glanced down at your scarlet silk slip dress and set your peach on the counter. “Just a little something I found buried in the back of my closet. Do you like it?” You stood and gave him a little spin. 
Bucky blushed and snapped his mouth shut, wondering how long he had his jaw dropped. Before Bucky could process what was happening, you had made your way in front of him and grabbed his vibranium arm.
“Stunning,” you breathed, inspecting it like you’d never really noticed it before. Bucky continued to stare as you laced your fingers, of which were adorned by many rings, with his metal ones. You held it up appreciatively.
Bucky swallowed as his gaze found your wrist. “That’s Tony’s watch.”
“I found it. Shiny, right? He won’t miss it.” You giggled, continuing to ogle his hand.
Bucky began to utter your name, but the word was cut off by your pointer finger meeting his lips, effectively shushing him. 
“Don’t call me that,” you ordered, and Bucky could sense your hostility, though it was quickly fading.
“You mean your name?” He mumbled once your hand receded.
“Call me Honey.” You grinned, voice smooth and silky again.
“Why?”
You brought his metal hand up to hold your cheek and used your other hand to gently grab his chin. Bucky could’ve sworn your eyes had a subtle gold sheen. You watched his pinched brows rise as you guided his lips to yours. The kiss lasted no more than three seconds before you pulled away, smirking at the way he gawked.
“Because I’m sweet?” You brazenly offered, leaving him a final kiss on his stubbled cheek. “I’ll see you later,” you smiled and walked away without glancing back once.
Bucky stood dazed, jaw loosely open again, blue eyes wide. Snapping himself out of it, he looked at the clock. 9:32. Bucky was certain you first walked in at 9:20. How long had he been standing there alone in shock? 
He whipped his head around the room for any hidden cameras or even a sign that he had imagined the whole thing. Maybe he was daydreaming? But his eyes fell onto the half-eaten fruit abandoned on the counter, and he subconsciously licked his lips. 
A subtle peach flavor lingered on his tongue.
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“You’re seriously telling me you haven’t noticed anything off about her?” Bucky crossed his arms over his chest as he watched Sam stretch for his run.
“I’ve hardly seen her lately,” Sam mumbled, bent over and touching his toes.
“She kissed me.”
“Ha, sure.” 
“Sam, she kissed me.”
“Wait,” Sam shot upwards and nearly tripped from the movement, “you’re serious? When? Why?”
“This morning. I don’t know why. She was acting—I don’t know! Weird!” 
“I would say kissing you is a solid indication of weirdness.”
Bucky ignored his comment.
“I swear, I saw her eyes glow…or shimmer, or something,” he added, looking off distantly.
“Cool it, loverboy,” Sam laughed.
“No,” Bucky grabbed Sam’s shoulder, tired of not being taken seriously, “I mean literally glow. Like, gold.”
“Where is she now?”
“Not sure.”
“Okay, well as long as she’s not hurting anybody I’m sure it’s nothing to be too concerned about. Maybe she’s wearing colored contacts? It’s a thing now.”
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The next day Bucky knocked on your door. You opened it, and Bucky was surprised to see you covered in triple the amount of jewelry you had yesterday. Gold and silver bangles lined your arms, countless rings covered your fingers, and you even had some shiny new clips in your hair. He did notice that you still only had on a single necklace, the same golden topaz pendant you had yesterday.
“Hello, pretty boy.” You greeted, voice sickeningly sweet.
“Where did you go last night?” Bucky asked, straight to the point. He was more worried than ever now with your late-night adventures.
“Why? Worried I was with someone? Don’t be jealous, Darling.”
“You’re not in your right mind,” he said, catching the way your eyes shone again.
“My mind is perfectly clear, Sarge.” You smiled and shook your head at him like he was a child.
“I really don’t think so, ‘Honey’. Until yesterday, I wouldn’t have described you as a kleptomaniac.”
“It’s not a crime to like shiny things.” You laughed like he was the one being preposterous. 
“But it is a crime to steal them. Cough it up.” Bucky snapped his fingers and held his hand out. He knew none of them were yours, and he wondered how many unsuspecting strangers you managed to con.
“You’re such a tease.” You tried but saw that he wasn’t going to budge. “Ugh, fine.”
One by one, you removed your collection from your body, starting with your diamond earrings. Bucky continued to place the jewelry in his many jacket pockets as you handed them over.
“Tony’s watch, too,” he chided when he noticed you made no effort to remove it. You gave a dramatic huff and unclasped it.
You had given him everything except the necklace and he was getting impatient. 
“You’re being a child, give me the necklace—”
“No!” You screamed and swatted away his hand as it stretched toward your neck. “Don’t you fucking touch it.” You snarled.
“Jesus—” He nearly pissed his pants, he had never seen you so aggressive.
“I keep the necklace.” It was not a question.
“Fine.”
“You can leave. You’ve stolen my joy.” Your sultry and sweet demeanor had completely vanished, leaving you with a cold stare. 
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It was clear the instant you bared your teeth at him that the necklace was the culprit of your personality transplant and gilded eyes. 
The big question was how was he going to get it off of you? And would taking it off of you be enough to fix you?
And does he even want to?
I mean, you are much nicer to him this way…
God, stop it Bucky! She needs your help. Start thinking with your brain.
Bucky cooked up a plan, and it involved more jewelry.
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“I come with a peace offering.” Bucky knocked on your door, not too differently than how he did the day before.
“What is it?” You asked, cracking the door open in curiosity.
Bucky gave an awkward smile and held up a gold necklace he got Natasha to lend him.
“Oh my God, it’s magnificent,” you cooed, opening the door fully to let him in.
You had a one-track mind.
“Do you want me to help you put it on?” Bucky offered, hoping it would be that easy to fix you. It was simple—trade your cursed ‘voodoo doodoo’ necklace for a normal one.
“I’ll wear it later…I like the one I have on now.” You nodded, protectively clutching the golden gem.
Okay, so not as simple as he’d hoped.
“Fair enough. It is very pretty.”
“I know.” You smirked and took a seat on the side of your bed.
Bucky did his best to casually sit next to you.
“Where can I get one?” He asked, eyes lingering on your black skirt.
“You like shiny things too, handsome?” You asked, walking your fingers teasingly up his arm.
“Sure.” He suppressed a shiver as your fingers got closer to his neck.
“I hate to burst your bubble,” you laughed, bringing your hands to cup the pendant, “but this necklace is one of a kind.”
“And how did you get your hands on it?” He asked, trying to keep his voice light enough that you wouldn’t suspect his ulterior motive.
You bit your bottom lip as you thought of whether to tell him. You rolled your eyes playfully, “I’ll tell you a little, but only because you’re so cute.”
Cute? Fuck, you might be more fucked up than he thought if you’re thinking he’s cute.
“Someone hired me a couple of weeks ago to find it. I guess they were a fan, familiar with my investigative research before joining your ‘big league’ Avengers. I did a lot of work to find this puppy.” Your eyes only seemed to glow brighter when you stared at it. 
Bucky knew he had to play this safe. If he took the immediate hostile route of ripping the necklace off of you, he’d be risking it failing, and then you wouldn’t trust him again. He realized he needed to give you another reason to get close to him, and his next thought made his cheeks warm.
“Why are you getting so blushy, soldier? Do I make you nervous?” You giggled.
“More than you realize,” he chuckled and let his gaze fall to his feet.
“You are just the sweetest thing. I’ve always taken a liking to you.”
“You have?” Bucky swung his head to you at your disclosure.
“How could I not?”
Come on Bucky. You can do this. Be a man.
You’re doing this for her. You’re doing this for her. You’re doing this also a little bit for yourse— no, you’re doing this for her!
“Can I kiss you?” He rushed, his voice only cracking once.
“You don’t need to ask, sweet thing.”
Bucky took a deep breath and closed his eyes, not wanting to see your distorted honey eyes bore into his. He leaned forward, met your plush lips, and slid one hand to your shoulder. One second you’re kissing, and the next he’s yanking the chain from your neck so quickly that you barely had time to scream.
The impact of his effort left you falling onto the floor and clutching your neck, heaving like you’d just come up for air after being underwater for much too long.
Bucky called your name and fell to his knees beside you, instinctively putting a hand on your back to console you.
“Hey, you’re okay! You’re okay,”
You looked up from the carpet into his worried eyes and let out a sharp sob. 
“I don’t—I don’t even know what—” your stutters quickly dissolved and with a gasp, your hands flung from your neck to your mouth as if you couldn’t believe what you’d done. “Oh, Bucky, I’m so—I’m so fucking sorry, I didn’t mean to—”
“It’s okay, I know it wasn’t you,” he rushed, simply wanting that look off of your face.
“Stupid, so stupid,” you sputtered, and he couldn’t tell if you were referring to yourself or the necklace.
“Where did you get this?” Bucky asked, lifting the cursed pendant that he had yet to drop.
“A boat wreck just off the coast,” you said, itching at your neck.
“So that’s why your hair was wet…and someone’s been paying you? To find this?”
You nodded your head and pushed back the hair that fell into your face.
“Who?” Bucky gently grabbed your jaw to get you to look at him. “Why do they want it?”
“I don’t know, some art collector? They didn’t give me a name." You winced. "Can you please get that thing out of my sight? It’s making my head hurt.”
He glanced at the necklace, “Of course, I’m sorry,” and tossed it behind him.
You sat quietly for a moment, just thinking. You groaned and began to stand up. Bucky quickly offered his assistance.
“Buck, can we do this another night? I really just need to…I need to sleep this off I think.”
He quickly nodded, secretly embarrassed at being essentially kicked out, and shuffled to the door. Just as he was about to close it behind him, you called for him to wait. 
Confused, he turned to see you racing up to him. You stood, gave a shy grin, and leaned in to give him a light kiss on the cheek. 
“Thank you,” you whispered. "For saving me."
A chill crawled up Bucky’s spine. 
He barely caught the golden glint in your eyes.
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A/N: Maybe I should've spent longer on this, but I just got to the point where I felt like I needed to just post it. Please let me know if you liked it!
My Masterlist
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*I edited using good ol' picsart
842 notes · View notes
mysticmunson · 1 year
Text
between four walls (e.m.)
a/o/b: alpha!eddie munson x omega!reader
summary: when you disappear from school for a few days, eddie is a bit bewildered, until he has a sneaking suspicion.
warning: a/o/b, smut, language
an: hi friends, thank you so much for another follower milestone! i asked what you would like next and this won! i've been working on a/o/b fics off and on for a few months, i think its very fun so feel free to message me ideas about them for blurbs! all my love. xx elora.
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The sticky air of Hawkins, Indiana made Eddie’s slovenly curls cling to his neck, likely getting tangled in his beaded, silver chain as his sneakers padded across the rubble. The last place he wanted to be was in Hawkins High, the fluorescent lights bouncing off the cream walls too poignantly and banners announcing peer events. 
He had always had a distaste for conformity, but after presenting as an Alpha, he clandestinely craved a sense of ordinariness. His toes pressed against the tip of his sneakers, his favorite leather jacket felt tighter, and his skin felt like the fizz on a freshly opened Coca-Cola. Sensations fluctuate depending on the day with his body attempting to steady itself as his mind tries to comprehend his new demeanor. 
While every day had been weird since that fateful day last month, his friends tried to maintain normality by focusing on Hellfire or acknowledging how his buff physique made him look menacing, but things had been slightly off with you. 
Every day you sat beside Eddie, even if he assured he wouldn’t be upset if you decided to relocate to avoid the relentless teasing he faced, but you stayed. After years of friendship, you chose to ignore any conflicted gazes, opting to enjoy your company. With satin ribbons in your hair, flowy, floral dresses that rest just above your knees, and your soft skin that always smelled like vanilla from your tube of hand lotion, he felt protective over you.
So when you moved from his left to the very end of the table, each inch felt like miles, cursing himself for feeling so intensely. Always admiring your beauty from a respectful distance, he adamantly maintained the friendship boundary, learning the line and fighting to take a step over.
As he sat in his math class, he awaited your arrival to your assigned seat at the second row of wooden desks, but the bell rang and it remained empty. This was the third day in a row, the first time you had even missed a full day, always finding some hidden strength to persevere through most of the school day. Hell, you often grilled Eddie on his lack of punctuality when it came to his education. 
The hairs on his arms stood up, his foot tapping relentlessly against the freshly waxed tile below, trying to rationalize your behavior and disappearance. Plucking the loose threads on his ripped jeans, he couldn’t bother to even think of equations. 
Your lack of communication had him on high alert, resisting the urge to confront you in fear of scaring you. He didn’t feel a need to worry about it until he presented, his voice dropped a tad lower, his facial hair growing faster which left him with consistent stubble, and his eyes felt sharper despite their baby-like softness. 
As class ended with Eddie not retaining a word of information, he looked at the double doors sending sunlight through, thinking how easy it would be to drive to your house and find out what was wrong. Why you hadn’t been answering his calls, why you weren’t at school, and why you even missed Hellfire. Granted, you didn’t know much about Dungeons and Dragons and usually just sat and watched, it felt peculiar to see your chair empty. 
Meanwhile in a quiet house at the curve of a cul de sac, you laid in bed wearing a shirt a size too big and underwear, leaving your mouth open to breathe. The fever encompassing your body added to your discomfort, tears selvage as your tired eyes stare at the wall, hoping that you would be back to normal soon.
Initially convinced it was a stomach ache, an awful flu that had you withering away in your bed, flustered as could be with clammy hands. But your gut wasn’t repulsed, it was the opposite, despite your body feeling like it was on fire as you laid in your bed, alone. 
It had been two miserable days since you presented as an omega, leaving you stranded with nothing to assist yourself. The clock only seemed to be moving slower as you could barely sleep without finding yourself in the depths of another dream, a dream of him.
“I’m glad we checked on you, you look like hell.” Robin joked, walking through your bedroom door with Nancy right behind. Even in your delirious state, you knew they typically didn’t hang out together, furrowing your brows. 
“Steve’s in the car waiting,” Nancy responded to your voiceless query, reaching her hand up to your forehead with a frown. “Shit, you’re burning up, have you gone to a doctor?” 
You shook your head, burrowing half of your face into your pillow with a deflated sigh, “I feel like shit and my stomach hurts, but not in a bad way, but so much that it is painful?” You stuttered in confusion, eyes hazy and unfocused. 
Robin fiddled with the various knick knacks in your room, lifting a pair of earrings to her in the mirror. Nancy stood back, looking at you with a thoughtful expression, rubbing her chin almost comically. 
“I also just want to call Eddie, but I keep feeling like I’m going to cry if I do. I talk to him everyday! It’s not my period either, I don’t know what's happening!” You exasperated, clenching your sheets closer to your chest as Nancy’s features clenched, sitting on the corner of your bed. 
Eddie had been your best friend for years and your longing crush for most of them. Conversations on the phone were routine for you, usually playfully arguing about something meaningless or watching a tv show while giving commentary. 
“Sounds like you're presenting, dude.” Robin laughed, turning around, only to be met with your fear filled face and Nancy’s “Did you seriously just say that?” expression that Robin had experienced frequently. 
With your parents being an alpha and omega duo, the chances they gave birth to one was highly likely, it was something you had expected. The days prior had left you anxious and exhausted, believing it just to be school related and nothing to note. 
“What?” You mumbled, sitting up, breath picking up as tears welled up, “Eddie’s an alpha, right? Oh my God!”
“Hey, hey! Calm down, you’re fine.” Nancy assured, pushing your shoulder gently back, looking at Robin for some form of support.
“I just want Eddie, but I-” You whimpered, hands coming up to your face before a random flannel was thrown at you from Robin. 
His flannel. 
His fucking red and black flannel he had accidentally left last weekend, you could’ve cried when you smelt it, the pain intensifying, but also blooming peace. 
“I don’t think that’s the best idea right now.” Nancy stroked your hair, even her heart breaking a bit at your muffled sadness. “Just try to relax, drink some water, and distract yourself. Okay?” You nodded, thanking them through the fabric in front of your face. 
As the girls trudged down the stairs, Robin looked at Nancy with a bewildered face, the front door closing behind them.
“We should tell Eddie! Apparently it’s fucking brutal the first time around!” She kept her tone hushed, Nancy sighing as she looked at the grass beneath our feet.
“She’s had a crush on him for years, Rob. What if something happens and it ruins their friendship? We have to let nature run its course. If she calls him, so be it, but we can’t be the ones to make that call.” Nancy sighed, opening Steve’s back seat door and piling in, Robin filing in the front.
The days for you were fairly torturous, only comforted by the smokey scent of the old flannel and the fantasies you entertained. Your mind began to run as you envisioned Eddie in all his alpha glory, which you hadn’t had the honor of seeing since he immediately goes into hiding when his rut hits.
His broad shoulders, firm grip that is free of rings since his hands swell, his plush lips cascading down your frame. The thought alone made you whimper, opening your eyes to glance at your pink phone, your shaking hands not even able to spin the dial. Your wooden bedside table felt miles away as you stared at it, tears pooling in your eyes at your helplessness. 
Part of you hoped he noticed your exodus while the other hoped things would go completely back to normal when you returned. The concept was naive, knowing there was no way you would be able to go back to a regular friendship with him, a thought that plagued you as soon as he returned to school after his first rut.
The front doors of the school couldn’t open quick enough, having not spent a week apart throughout your whole friendship. Even when your family would go out of town, you would call and talk on the phone as if he were right in front of you. 
His shoes squeaked against the freshly waxed tile of Ms. Green’s history class, Eddie strolling to his assigned seat towards the front. His chest was broader, thighs a bit thicker, and his face had a certain maturity that you didn’t recall. He turned over his shoulder, ignoring the stares from everyone else and locking eye contact with you, giving you a grin that you exchanged. 
When you walked out of class, he yanked you into a hug playfully, laughing in a huskier tone. For a moment you felt dizzy, shaking your head and pushing the unwarranted anxiety to the side. He was your best friend who you had seen shitfaced, crying at romcoms, and shared his bed when you didn’t want to go home. 
Things felt different though, never having been friends with an Alpha made everything novice. Each interaction with him made you shiver, feeling light headed with a subtle pain in your abdomen. So you forced space between you, keeping conversation to a minimum and avoiding him if possible. You assumed the pain would subside after a few days, but every time you tried to inch closer, it came crawling back.
In the solitude of your bedroom, your mind drifted to Eddie, starting with the curiosity of where he was or who he was with. Then the thought of him with someone to help him through his rut crept in, bringing a wave of sadness with it. Your feelings for Eddie were prominent for a long time, but you feared losing your best friend, choosing to have him as a pal than not at all.
You thought of him buffing up even more than when he was at school, remembering when you felt his crotch pressed against you when he scooted past, the prominent bulge gathering your attention. Envisioning the chance to touch him made your mouth water, trembling in your pajamas at the thought of his arms holding you and pressing his chest against yours. The way his dick wouldn’t fit your hand, having to use both to fully wrap around it and pleasing him. 
The idea anyone else did it made you feel sick, grabbing his sweatshirt he left over once and inhaling the scent. The seemingly innocent action made you feel like a pervert as his perfume lingered faintly on the cotton. 
Those thoughts felt like pure cotton candy to the ones you had now, of how he could walk in and do whatever he wanted and you’d love it. No matter what action he was committing, you would cry and beg for more. Even the idea of him being in the same room as you had you whimpering, twisting and turning with huffs of built frustration. 
Nancy and Robin stopped by a few times to check in on you, knowing you were too overwhelmed to make yourself food or get water. The school hours they had would usually sync with your nap time as you always woke at random moments in the night. Eddie had mentioned you to Robin that morning, wondering if she had seen you, which she attempted to deflect. 
“Why don’t you and Wheeler sit with my boys today?” 
Nancy almost killed Robin for saying yes, not because of Eddie’s reputation, but because she knew Robin was close to breaking. Always going soft after seeing you, saying how they need to just get you help and speed up this process.
So with sandwiches in hand, they sat quietly as the members of Corroded Coffin conversed about the latest Hellfire meeting. The younger boys were on a freshman field trip, conveniently leaving room for the girls to sit. Eddie snacked on the cold cafeteria food with lingering eyes on them, their skin crawling at the information they knew. 
Thankfully, the talkative nature of Gareth and Jeff derailed everyone’s attention, only noticing the 5 minutes left when Nancy took a glance at her watch as they went to throw away their trash. With freedom at their fingertips, it only seemed pleasantly ironic for it all to come tumbling down when Jason Carver appeared.
The potent bags under his eyes made him resemble a tortured Greek God, bronzed skin under the sun kissed hairs on his head. Eddie opened his mouth to begin his tangent, feeling his legs twitching to hop upon the tabletops, even though his recent development made him a bit calmer.
“Where is she?” Jason asked, not even glancing at the man beside him, locking on the girl's enlarged eyes. 
“Who?” Robin questioned, providing an awkward smile that made Jason scoff, wishing his skills developed enough to find you himself.
Jason was one of the other alpha’s at school, his rut helping him with sports and wearing it proudly on his sleeve. His progression made sense, fulfilling the family history of powerful alphas, but he had yet to find an omega to care for. Or even just to hold him over as most went into seclusion during their heats.
He wouldn’t have even known if a fellow member of the basketball team overheard the girls talking in hushed tones in the hallway, presuming no one could hear them over the sounds of chatter and clashing lockers. 
As if intended, the bell rang loudly, everyone standing to return to class. Jason kept his intense gaze until his friends yanked him away, pestering him for information about that night's practice. Eddie’s gaze didn’t waver as he looked at the both of them, smelling a tinge of anxiety on them, a convenient sense he inhabited. 
“You guys have 10 seconds to say why Jason Carver just said her name.” He responded with fraudulent tranquility, his black lunch pail secured tightly in his palm, holding his ground despite the varying rushing bodies beside them. 
After a moment of silence, Nancy found herself surprised at her lack of a quick rebuttal, something about the look Eddie was giving her making her freeze. It wasn’t one of infatuation, more akin to fear as his tensity remained.
“She presented!” Robin sighed, shoulders relaxing as if pounds had been removed from her chest. Her friend smacked her arm, watching as the man across from them went stagnant. Despite the fleeting deliberations, all the girls across from him saw was his clenched jaw and his eyes diverting to the spot you typically sat.
“As what? And why the fuck does Jason Carver know before me?” He gritted out, clenched fists glued at the side of his thighs.
The bell signaling class started went off, jolting Nancy and Robin from their subtle haze, trying to think of anything to divert his attention. However, Robin couldn’t stop thinking about how you were crying for him, that you would feel infinitely better if she just mentioned the slight detail.
“I don’t know how he found out Eddie-” Nancy snapped, becoming irritated with the theatrics, wishing she was just in algebra class for the first time ever. 
“As an omega!” Robin blurted, Eddie’s eyes widening as his fists loosened, “She presented and has been a mess! She’s too emotional to do anything, just wallowing away and whining for you.” The last part trailed off, but Eddie understood it clearly, his instincts that just were beginning to sprout commencing to full bloom.
With tunnel vision, he found his way out of the school, not caring if any teacher saw him. His mind was on you. You, who had been crying in pain for him for days and no one cared to mention it. 
The way to your home went by in a blur, glad he knew the route well enough to not maintain complete fixation on the journey. His respiring didn’t cease as he sped down the old roads, trying his best to avoid the potholes or random piles of trash. 
He barely put the car into park before he was racing up your driveway, putting his hand behind the potted plant at the right side of the maroon door. With the key in hand, he was soon in, putting it in the nearby bowl at the entryway table. The house was quiet, everything in a perfect state, making him remember your parents were out of town for the week. 
The aroma reached his nose like a tidal wave, unfamiliar yet agrestal as he saw the light glowing from under the door at the end of the hall. His socks hit the carpet as he yanked his shoes off, promenading down the beige carpet with small floral detailing. 
The door opened when his hand gripped the bronze handle, finding you asleep in an oversized shirt, curled in on yourself with his lapsed flannel. A warm spread across his chest and his groin, stifling the animalistic noise fighting through. Approaching you, he pushed the hair from your face, feeling the intensity of your fever on his shaking palms.
His scent made you stir, squeaking as your body searched for the touch with the twist of your neck. He trailed his finger down the bridge of your nose, noting the small pores he had never been able to see before, trailing to your cupid's bow. 
Your eyes fluttered open as he knelt beside you, cupping your cheek gently as if you were fine china. Your pupils were dilated, practically encompassing your whole iris, and he could feel your internal heat increasing with his proximity. 
“Eddie.” You mumbled, confused if this was a cruel dream that your hormonal mind was conjuring, but he smiled, his thumb brushing past your bottom lashes. Lunging forward without a second thought, you wrapped your arms around his neck to pull him on the bed, legs squirming with the growing discomfort between them.
As his body enveloped yours, he clenched his eyes tight, feeling the profound burst of testosterone. His stupor was interrupted when he felt a surge of wetness on his jeans, pulling away to see the slick that seeped through your thin cotton panties and to your mattress.
Wanting to avoid any embarrassment on your part, he smashed his lips to yours, keeping a steady hand on your jaw to maintain the pacing. There was no time to think about what you were doing or what your friendship would be after this, just the need to be close.
“You’re okay, I’ve got you, my omega.” He puffed as you whimpered, sitting up on his knees to pull off his shirt, initially going to throw it on the floor until you snatched it to bring to your nose. He plucked it out of your grasp with a teasing smile, putting it above your head beside your white pillows.
His hands found the hem of your shirt, inching it slowly up your body, revealing the skin he had been dreaming of. Discarding the old cloth, he stared in hunger at your chest as his hands grasped the mounds of flesh upon them. Wincing at your cry from the abrupt touch, simultaneously becoming harder beneath his constricting jeans.
Managing a way to strip them, he was left in boxers that did little to conceal his arousal, yet all his attention was on the sea between your legs. The fabric was so wet, the baby pink went to a darkened tone, making him rip them off.
“Oh, this cunt is just drooling for me, isn’t it?” He chuckled, running a finger through your folds before slotting it between his lips. Gasping, you reached to grab him, which he obliged. His lips met yours like slotted puzzle pieces, shimmying off his last article of clothing.
“Alpha, please.” You mewled, eyes wide as your lips hung open as he grabbed his length. The growl that escaped was impetuous, your nipples skimming across his milky chest, his hand stopping your jaw from when you tried to look downward.
“You’re okay, omega- Shh, it’s okay. Take a deep breath.” He says softly, thumb stroking across your scorching skin, applying slight pressure.
He had always been well endowed, but after his presentation, things became more intense, especially when he was aroused. Eddie thought the idea that alpha’s couldn’t be with beta’s because it was dangerous was just dramatics, but when he came to full hardness with his knot in place, it made sense.
The last thing he wanted was for you to see him below right now, knowing your brain was already scattered and that he didn’t want to scare you. As an omega, your body was made for this, it was begging for it. It just took a little getting used to. 
His tip had barely probed your walls before you winced, clutching onto his shoulders like a lifeline. Though he knew you were in slight discomfort, something brought him amenity knowing he was going to help you feel much better.
Protruding further in, he slowly rocked his hips back and forth, pressing wet kisses to your skin and savoring the essence coming from it. He thought he could become high on you alone as you basked in his own scent, feeling as if it coated you from head to toe. 
“Feelin’ okay?” Eddie mustered, jolting his head back slightly when you started nodding profusely, making him chuckle and go deeper.
“You f-feel so good, so so good. Y-your cock,” You cried out, the tears tumbling down with mixed moans, “You’re so pretty and so n-nice to me, s-so nice even when you don’t-t have to be, which is so nice of y-you.” 
“Baby,” Eddie’s chest constricts and he smiles down to continue, only realizing he had inched his way fully inside when his balls bounced against the swell of your ass. A loud moan that vibrates within his chest comes out, making you grip to him more securely. 
“S-so big and full, so full, I don’t want you to leave, please.” You whimpered, hand reaching to feel his hair, “You m-mean so much to me a-and I l-love you. Thank you, thank you.”
“Sweetheart, shh, it’s okay.” He coos with a huge grin, almost laughing with how precious you are to him right now, “I love you too, I’m not going anywhere.” 
The first orgasm you experience hits you like a sucker punch, his words of affirmation being the final straw, shaking like a leaf against his firm chest. Your mind goes blank as you let out a string of noises, feeling the way he feels inside you in such intense detail. Your eyes reopened as you whined at the pain still persisting, which Eddie was mere moments away from solving.
He never thought he’d be able to see you like this, not even as an omega, just in general. Your iris’ so wide, he could see his reflection down to the small lines next to his lips. It felt so natural to be inside you, to be protecting you and fulfilling your needs. The thought that Jason Carver almost made it here made his blood boil, thrusting sharply out of instinct, before focusing on you.
“Want you cum, Eddie, want your cum, alpha. Please, please, please! I’ll be good and do whatever you say, you can do whatever you want to me, just, please!” You cried out, sending Eddie to his final straw, his knot snapping loose with a potent moan. 
Sublime existed within you, he thought, his mind going completely blank as he pumped you full of his release. Your sobs had turned into subdued mewls as your body felt relaxed for the first time in days, clutching to Eddie with your face in his neck.
Groaning like an old man, he managed to roll onto his back with you still attached and startled by the movement. “It’s okay, just get comfortable, sweetheart.” He murmured, yanking your blue quilted blanket over the both of you despite the sweat, already expecting your come down to be reasonably harsh.
To say Eddie wasn’t the best student was valid, but he did pay attention in health class, learning the dynamics of alphas, omegas, and betas. There was something so intriguing about it to him, thinking it was intricate enough to be a part of Dungeons and Dragons, when a brave warrior saves a helpless civilian. 
Even back in the freezing classroom, he felt his heart clench at the explanation of omegas while some tried to joke about it and laugh. Describing the genuine distraught they endure if they’re without a caretaker, a toy being a last resort because of how much emotional support they would need afterwards. 
Alpha’s could get away with going solo, a bit pent up and lonely, but nothing like omega’s who became practically helpless. For an auxiliary learning experience, they played a video of a female omega in heat for the room for pre-presenting 18 year old boys. There wasn’t any sex, but it was how emotional she became after just a few minutes, only finding peace when a man came in and picked her up, her alpha. They played one of an alpha, but the pretense didn’t last nearly as long as he could smell out his omega in the room from the start.
The worry that you had been in here for two days plagued him as you took deep breaths on his chest, his knot gradually diminishing. He squeezed you tighter unintentionally, angry that he didn’t know sooner, that he didn’t realize it or that no one told him. 
“Look at me.” He stated, a bit too sharp than intended, your obedience falling into place as your chin rested against his chest. Your cheeks were still wet, sniffling as the aftermath endured, looking with distressed eyes.
“Don’t wait to call me, okay? It doesn’t matter if you’re embarrassed. You could’ve hurt yourself.” He exaggerated, regretting his tone as soon as your lip began to wobble, “Hey, sweetheart, hey. It’s okay, I’m not mad, I just don’t want you to be in pain, okay?”
You nodded as he rearranged you both, his length slipping out, much to your dismay. But the need to nest festered within seconds as he went to go get you both drinks and snacks, grabbing his shirt and flannel. Even his jeans joined the pile as it surrounded you, nuzzling into the cotton of his top, toes flexing in delight. 
He entered with some water, granola bars and bananas, somehow remembering they were a positive supplement for after a heat even though he forgets his own house number sometimes. Chuckling at the sight, he sat against the headboard as you shuffled into his side, curling up. Holding the cup to your lips, he swiped the spare stream that dripped down your tongue before drinking some himself.
Handing you a piece of the fruit, he opened his snack, but kept his attention on you as you looked downward. His fingers found the loose strands of hair by your ear, stroking them rhythmically as you finished and handed him the peel. You both sat contently as the wrapper and peel were thrown into the bin, but he could feel the slump of your frame, assuming you hadn’t got much rest the past few days. 
“Go to sleep, omega, I’ll be here. You’re safe.” He assured, scooting farther down so you were both lying on your backs, wrapping his arms around you. 
The sleep was like no other before, instantly submerged into tranquility of varying levels, Eddie being exhausted and waiting till you were out to fall. While you slept, your body still buzzed with nerves, still coming to terms with the new elements surfacing. 
Stirring awake in the dark room, you rubbed your eyes and smelled the pheromones exuding from Eddie’s sleeping body that you could now process. The discomfort between your legs surged with wetness, worried you would wake him and he would be displeased at how early it was. The red clock blinked at 5:43am, the sun wasn’t even beginning to show.
Mistakenly peering down at his boxers, your mouth watered at his bulge, feeling an encompassing need to see it. You wanted to press kisses all over him, around the coarse hairs below his belly and sucking on his tip to taste his arousal.
Eddie woke up to quiet fussing, feeling you twist against his chest and look up at him, shocked to see his eyes opened. He could see the guilt right on your face, to which he silently shook his head with a smile, stroking your head. 
“Alpha, ‘m sorry, I need your c-cock, please.” You begged, wiggling down to his waistband, pulling out his half hardened length, “S-so big.”
He knew he only had a few minutes before you wouldn’t be able to have him in your mouth anymore, becoming too thick for your throat, so he let you indulge in this. You wanted this, he could see the drool dripping down his shaft as you sucked him, but he also knew this wasn’t going to do anything for you emotionally.
“My pretty, sweet, omega.” His voice coaxed in a morning gruff, “Can have this for just a minute, okay? Did so good yesterday, so proud of you.” 
He saw your eyes haze over, eyelids drooping as you hummed around him, his hips resisting the instinct to snap forward. Your repeated suckle made him thicker, unbeknownst to you as the action only soothed you, ignoring the growing pain between your legs.
His hand intertwined with yours as he looked out the slit of the curtains of the window, the orange rays of the sun just cresting the Earth. Something about waking up before sunrise felt forbidden, like the world wasn’t awake yet, that this was stolen time. Time where only you and him existed.
The ache of his knot began to form as he reached down to pull you up, only to hear a yelp. He flinched, looking down to see your wide eyes with his dick between your lips. He forced his growl down to not give you mixed messages, only raising his brows and curling his finger up to him. 
When you failed to do so, he lifted you despite your begs, laying you down and hovering over. He hushed you, feeling himself throb against your pretty thighs, ones he definitely wanted to explore more when you weren’t as sensitive. If he were to love on them now, he thinks it’d feel more cruel to you than anything.
You wiggled beneath him, faint pleads escaping your lips as his scent covered you, not being able to comprehend all the feelings that swarmed you. Eddie managed to throw off his boxers, caging you in beneath him as his necklace trickled on your sternum. One of his arms went downward, grabbing the base of himself and giving a few tugs.
“I know what you need, omega.” He gritted, his tip sliding between your silk-like folds with ease, making him shudder. Somehow this managed to calm you down slightly, knowing he knew what to do, even just based on pure instincts.
Slotting inside you, he shut his eyes and moaned, your wetness helping to aid the size of himself. Your moans may have been considered singing if anyone heard the way they flowed together and he wondered if it just sounded that way as your alpha. 
“Alpha, please, need your knot. Need so many.” You begged, breaths shallow as your body began to shake, already succumbing to your first orgasm. He couldn’t help, but chuckle at you, nuzzled into the crevice of your neck as he kissed the skin softly.
“My sensitive girl.” He mused, pressing himself further to rub at your clit, making you jolt. His speed increased as he felt himself growing impatient. He could last longer than this, he knew that, but he wasn’t going to try and prolong it, especially when it helped make you feel safe.
“I’ve got a rule, omega,” Eddie began, your eyes wide like saucers as you looked up, “You have to come twice every time I knot, okay?”
Your petulant whine sounded through the room before he hushed you with his own lips, his hand going between your legs to rub at the bud of nerves. Your legs shook profusely against his hips, not expecting the added pleasure that left you speechless. 
“Come with me, baby. Gonna fill you up, give you my knot.” He growled, gripping onto the headboard to thrust faster than before, “Fuck, need to fill you up. My omega.” He watched as your tits bounced in rhythm, your orgasm sneaking up on you.
His knot shot into you with velocity, covering your walls completely as you mewled, coming for a second time as your back arched. Eddie thought he almost dented the metal headboard, his hands a mix of red and white as he let go, twitching from the intensity his body was encountering.
Peering down, he saw your eyes shut, mouth opened as you caught your breath with just the tip of your tongue poking out down the middle. He smiled, pushing the hair from your face and kissing you. His knot was still throbbing as it deposited completely within you, hoping he’d be able to keep doing this. Now more prepared for when he rolled onto his back, you just adjusted to be comfortable, hoping he wouldn’t get soft too fast and you could continue this close.
The first presentation was usually a false heat, it has all the same symptoms, but there is little chance of pregnancy. It was one of the reasons he wasn’t too paranoid about giving you his knot, since that is what sedates omegas, but he didn’t want to be too risky. His heart bursted as you settled in his arms, wondering what would happen after your heat was over, trying to assure himself you wanted him. You whined for him and he wasn’t going to let that go.
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The next few days consisted of waking up, having sex, Eddie cooking for you, and naps. It was like a slice of heaven in four walls, embracing the affection you were both giving each other. 
He had gone back home once to grab clothes, cigarettes, and some notebooks to work on his campaign and music. He had given Wayne a call the first day, saying he was out for the night, but would be back home soon. He hung up before he could hear the response, but knew he’d have to face his uncle eventually. They were close, practically father and son, but they weren’t open in that nature.
He pulled up to the trailer, seeing the familiar truck in the dirt in front, taking a deep breath before stepping on the damp ground. Opening the door gently, he spotted his uncle asleep on the recliner as the news played softly on the TV. Going straight for his bedroom, he shoved as much as he could in his duffle bag.
Truthfully, he was missing you more than he wanted to admit. It was only minutes, yet, he felt a pain in his chest that you were alone. He did wait for you to fall asleep as you tried to act okay with him departing for an hour, untangling your arms and legs from one another. 
How he managed to quickly pack his bag with minimal noise was a mystery, but he was grateful, hoping to utilize whatever freetime he had with writing or planning. He even brought some extra shirts for your nest as those were your favorite and his jeans kept rubbing weirdly against your cheeks. Racing to the front door, he had almost escaped as his grasp reached the handle.
“Where were you at and why aren’t you in school, boy?” Wayne grumbled, not even bothering to open his eyes as he laid back. Something about his demeanor could make him seem laid back, but he meant business when it came to Eddie’s future and he didn’t want to add another senior year.
“It’s excused.” Eddie responded cooly, mentioning quickly that he stayed at your home, leaning against the door and rocking on his heels. His nonchalant attitude made the older Munson open his eyes, looking with a squint as he adjusted to the light and to whatever game he thought his nephew was playing at.
Awaiting the explanation, Eddie imagined the ground swallowing him whole, teleporting him back to your cute bedroom with frills and stuffed animals. But no, he was standing in front of his uncle, who was in no mood for shenanigans after an exhausting shift. 
“She presented. The school excuses both, uh, parties.” Eddie mumbled, the rubber of his shoes touching as he looked down at them, not seeing the way the man in front of him straightened up. 
Humming in response, Wayne sat in thought as the boy refused to make eye contact, unsure as to what his reaction would be. How does one react to something like this?
“Takin’ care of her? She’s a sweet girl, always liked her.” Wayne mused, making their eyes finally meet. While the question could’ve been interpreted in a more vulgar way, he knew what he meant. Meant that he was actually taking care of you as an alpha should, not just to get laid.
“She is and yeah. Feeling better now, didn’t get help till two days after. She asked for me.” He trails his words with pink cheeks, kicking himself for saying too much, but Wayne gives a small chuckle. Not at what he said, but at how much Eddie’s demeanor reminded him of when he was young.
“Alright, alright. Standin’ here looking like a prisoner, go.” He laughed, not really needing any other information as Eddie left within a blink. 
The drive back to your house was tortuous, practically smelling you on his clothes in a way that became addicting. With little shame, he inhaled in his shirt deeply while at a red light, the car behind him eventually honking to send him forward.
It was crazy to him that yesterday morning felt so long ago now, that the conversation with Nancy and Robin wasn’t even 24 hours ago. He knows news is never expected fully, but this took him by surprise and made him feel less guilty about getting off to the thought of you during his rut. 
He wondered if that’s why you popped in his head no matter how many times he tried to distract himself, your pretty face dewy as he fucked into you at a, seemingly, unforgiving pace. His hands all over your body and you reacted instinctively to them before he filled you to the brim with his knot.
The thoughts ran through his brain until he pulled in your driveway, grabbing his bag and the spare set of keys that used to reside behind the large flower pot. The muffled sounds of music could be heard from your boombox as he stepped inside, kicking off his shoes. Jumping over steps until slipping on the edge, he caught himself by the rail, puffing with annoyance.
A whine rang through his ear like church bells, adding to the ache between his legs that he hadn’t noticed before. Sitting on the edge of the bed, you immediately lit up at his presence, holding open your arms. Plopping down the bag, he dramatically raced towards you while crouching and swooped you into his arms with a laugh.
Litters of kisses were left on both sets of skin, feeling an overcast of warmth as you returned to each other. He only pulled away to drag his bag closer, rummaging through it before lifting up an old Hawkins crewneck sweater, slipping it on you over your large shirt. You practically melted at the way his scent took you, shrinking your head, arms and legs until you were in a tight ball within it. 
“Glad you like it, baby.” He chuckled, kissing the patch of your hair that peeked through as he unloaded some of his clothes. It was almost comical how little articles he brought, knowing that most of their days would not involve clothing at all or would only be on long enough to be taken off. 
Putting it in a neat pile by your dresser, he dug in his bag to see the condoms made specifically for alpha’s, dreading the fact he would need to wear them soon. He decided to keep it hidden, not wanting to upset you when you weren’t using them yet. He could hear the soft snoring from the tucked away ball on its side, biting back a large grin.
Shimmying off his clothing besides his royal blue briefs, he molded himself around your frame and lifted the blankets over top. He felt your arms wiggling before a practically inaudible whimper as it dawned on him that you couldn’t feel the arm holes in your slumber.
“Goofball.” He mutters to himself, unable to help the smile and pink cheeks as he uncurls you to bring to his chest. Your lips puckered briefly against his peck, the subconscious kiss making him want to squeeze you in joy. He liked existing inside these four walls with you.
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taglist plus friends :) : @steeldaisies @meaganjm @masterofmunson @downbythebay4 @femalefilmaker @wiltedwonderland @yourthebrokengirl @jessyballet @iheartyouyou @gloryekaterina @missscarlettangel @variety-fangirl @wigglywoos59 @thegirlblogstuff @lovelyladymayyyy @strawwberrry @ktjmac @dovesnrosesnreblogs @fknemily @spn-obession  @imagine-all-the-imagines @fangirl-hoe @deementedforeverr @hellfire-in-hawkins @indouloureux @andvys @lilacletter @prettyboyeddiemunson
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ifimdreaming · 4 months
Text
come over?
luke hughes x reader
summary: you and luke have a secret/not so secret relationship
a/n: no warnings really, this is cute i think and very cringey fluff tbh. not proofread.
word count: 1.3k
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Keeping your relationship with Luke a secret from your friends was a hard enough task as it is, but having to keep it a complete secret from your family was proving to be an even more difficult task. It has been over 6 months of you and Luke being together now and everyday you just want to shout from the rooftops just how much you love him.
Although you knew being in the spotlight was 100% not what you wanted, it was so much harder than you thought to have to sneak around and pretend to be single around some of your very closest friends. And Luke knew how much it meant to the public for you to be known solely as ‘Luke Hughes’ Girlfriend’ so you had both agreed on the whole keeping-things-a-secret thing until further notice.
Because of this, It had been almost 2 weeks since you had last seen your boyfriend. Both you and him being respectively busy, and also having absolutely nowhere to spend time together as your two roommates had not been out of the house for any extended periods of time lately. And in the midst of that, Luke and Jack had a guest staying at their condo since the beginning of the month, making it nearly impossible for you to spend any time there at all.
This had you up late at night thinking about Luke for what felt like the millionth night in a row. wishing he was beside you instead of just your childhood stuffed animals. Wishing he was rubbing your back, soothing you to sleep, kissing your neck gently, tracing shapes on your skin - there were so many little ways he showed you his love and you missed every single one of them. And as much as you hated what was at risk with you sneaking him over - laying in bed dreaming about it caused absolutely no harm at all.
Pulling you out of your daydream, you hear buzzing begin to come from your phone that is left charging on your nightstand as you are trying desperately to fall asleep. You look over to see that it is Luke calling you, at almost 1:00 in the morning. You wonder if he had been up thinking about you too.
You reach over and grab your phone to answer him, “hi baby” you whisper into the phone, not wanting to wake up anyone else in your apartment.
“baby I cant sleep. I miss you so much” he says with a tired rasp in his voice. He lets out a sigh on the other end of the phone and its almost like he is right beside you. You can hear the longing in his voice and can just sense how frustrated he is with the single sigh.
“I miss you too lukey. I literally cant sleep either - ive just been up thinking about you” you say honestly. 
You have always been super honest with him about everything. Weather it be you telling him every single detail about how horrible your period is that week, how you absolutely dread doing the dishes and let them pile up for days before getting to them, how you refuse to go out past 5pm by yourself because you are terrified of being kidnapped, or explaining to him word for word why you love the movie ‘love rosie’ so much and how much it means to you when he agrees to watch it with you. Luke knew you so well and you knew him just the same. Because you always communicated with each other. about everything. No matter what. 
Thats why what he said next came as such a shock to you.
“Ive been thinking too..’’ he trails off, his tone quieter than before
You stay quiet on the other end of the phone, curious about what Luke is about to say and suddenly extremely aware of the fact that it is so late at night and he decided to call you without warning. After your silent thinking, you hum a quiet ‘mhm’ in response, urging him to continue.
“Ive just been thinking.. maybe I regret keeping things, with us, a secret for so long. I know I- We agreed to hold off, especially because of how it would affect your life and everything. And I know thats a really big deal. I dont want you to think im being selfish..” he begins, but waits for you to chime in with your thoughts.
Things have worked well this way for so long, that it surprised you he felt this way. Especially because Luke is a very private person in general, you assumed this is how he wanted things. It broke your heart if you made him feel like this was all your idea in the first place. You just thought it would be best for the both of you.
“Luke I dont know what to say. Honestly i thought we were on the same page so I didnt offer to change anything…” 
“How long have you felt like this?” you add, trying to speak loud enough but still with your voice in a whisper.
“I mean. I dont really know?” he says almost as a question
“Luke…” you urge him, hoping he will answer your question honestly.
“Well I guess - about a month now I guess? I know i shouldve said something sooner but I just didnt want to ruin anything. I know thats kind of..shitty..” He says regretfully
Theres the honest boy you know.
“I..I didnt know” you say. Honestly you ddnt know where to go from here. You wanted to tell everyone everything about your relationship at this very moment, but werent sure if thats where Luke was going with this.
“I- What are you thinking? I understand if you want to keep things the way they are. I wanna be clear that I really dont want to force you into changing anything. I just i couldn t keep it to myself anymore” 
It was so exciting to you knowing how much Luke cared about you. The way he cares for everyone around him has always been something you admire about him. He has the biggest heart in the world and you only hoped to be at least half as caring as him. Clearly this has been on his mind for a while and he cared so mch about your feelings towards it that he didnt want to let his feelings ruin what you have.
“Luke I love you, obviously as long as you know that, thats enough for me. But i do want everyone to know that too.” you say as the lump in your throat grows and tears well in your eyes. 
You honestly didn't know why this was making you emotional. But the combination of missing him, hearing him so delicately approach you with this, and knowing this might be the moment you get to share your love for him with the world, is making it hard to get your words out right now.
“I love you so much. and I want everyone to know I do too” he says matter of factly and your heart melts completely. 
You both sit in comfortable silence over the phone for a moment as your slight sniffles fill the quiet air. 
“I dont know why im crying..” you say through quiet laughter and hear Luke share laughter in response. He was so used to you being emotional over the most random things, this not surprising him one bit.
“What can i do baby?” 
You dont even have to think twice of your next response but pretend to be contemplating anyway,
“hmmmm, come over?” you respond hopefully. It thrilled you to think he might actually say yes. Even at 1:00 in the morning.
“Absolutely,” he says with a laugh and you grin ear to ear with giddy excitement, 
“give me 20 minutes”
-
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sweetbbarnes · 11 months
Text
GODDESS
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postTFATWS!BuckyBarnes x Fem!Reader
Summary: You’re still trying to figure out how a healthy relationship works. Bucky is more than happy to show you.
Warnings: mentions of a past toxic relationship, reader is insecure, feelings (because it’s me), Bucky being the sweetest man possible (yes, he’s a warning), established healthy relationship, a tiny bit of possessive!Bucky (in a healthy way), SMUT, exhibitionism, fingering, talks about birth control, unprotected sex, cum kink (sort of), possessive sex (you have to squint), praise, p in v, let me know if I forgot something.
A/N: I was daydreaming about this yesterday and I just had to write, if you like it please let me know. Also I changed my username ‘cause I didn’t like the old one that much.
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I DO NOT CONSENT TO HAVE MY STORIES TRANSLATED, COPIED OR POSTED TO ANY OTHER SITE/APP/ACCOUNT. DO NOT STEAL MY WORK.
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You clutch your jacket tightly, your knuckles turning white as you secure the denim fabric around you — a nervous habit you've developed over time. You had intended to change before Bucky arrived, but he showed up earlier than expected, leaving you no time, so you just took the first jacked you saw and covered yourself. Insecurities flood your mind as you open the door for him. He gives you a tight hug that communicates how much he missed you, but instead of embracing him back, you just clutch your jacket harder. A shield, of sorts.
"Are you okay, sweetheart? Are you cold?" Bucky asks, concern etched on his face as he gently rubs your hips with his leather covered thumbs.
"I'm not sure about this dress," you admit, avoiding his gaze.
"Why? Don't you like how you look? Let me see it," he suggests, releasing his grip on you, giving you space to remove your jacket.
Taking a deep breath and closing your eyes, you summon the courage to reveal yourself. It’s a pretty dress, used to be one of your favorites, actually, but you retired it after it caused your ex to almost hit you for “wearing something so revealing”. Today, as you were searching for an outfit and found it hidden at the bottom of your wardrobe, you couldn’t help but choose it, as you felt an overwhelming sense of freedom after trying it on. Now, though, you’re not so sure anymore.
You feel the cold air touching your bare arms and brace yourself for the harsh words, echoes of your past relationship lingering inside your brain. But Bucky remains silent, intensifying your anxiety. It has only been a few months since you started dating the supersoldier, and while you've seen no signs of violence from him, you're still guarded, prepared if the moment comes. Bucky is a gentleman, but so was your ex at the beginning.
"I can change if you want," you quickly offer, seeking to appease any potential displeasure.
"Why would I want you to change?" Something in his voice prompts you to open your eyes. Rather than the disappointment you were expecting, there’s some kind of amazement and even lust as he looks at you up and down. Not a single trace of anger.
The gentleness of his question gives you enough courage to ask, “don’t you think I look like a slut?”
Bucky's eyes shoot up to meet yours, a little shocked, but upon noticing the fear in them his face softens with understanding, and he steps closer, enfolding you in his arms. “Darlin’, you look like a fucking Goddess.” He gently kisses your forehead. “Absolutely stunning.”
Bucky knows about your past relationship and the emotional scars it left behind. When he met you, you were a mess. He thought that an ex-assassin would be the last person you’d choose to date after everything, but apparently he did something right, and the moment you accepted him in your life he vowed to himself he’d do anything to show you what a genuine, nurturing love feels like.
"Are you sure? You're not... mad? I mean, that other men will look at me.” you ask hesitantly.
"Why would I be mad?" Bucky responds, his voice filled with sincerity. Despite the heartbreak upon seeing you so scared, he manages a tiny smirk. "They can look; only I get to touch."
You remain uncertain. Your previous boyfriend, when he was in a good mood, had also claimed not to care when you dressed like this — until another guy so much as glanced your way.
Sensing your hesitation, Bucky leads you to your bedroom, positioning you in front of the mirror and standing behind you. As you gaze at your reflection, he notices the sparkle in your eyes and the joy that emanates from within. You like how you look in the dress, and that realization instantly makes it Bucky's favorite.
His leather-clad hands gently trail along your arms, leaving goosebumps in their wake. "Do you feel beautiful?" he asks, admiring your form as much as you do.
You answer, blushing and avoiding his eyes, "Yes."
"And do you feel comfortable?" he inquires further.
You hesitate, your thoughts momentarily scattered. Then, you consider his words and the scenario he paints.
"I... Well..." you trail off, contemplating the tiny sparkle of confidence starting to bloom inside your chest.
"Forget about me for a moment. Imagine you're single, going out with your girlfriends. Do you feel comfortable then?" Bucky prompts.
You ponder his question, allowing yourself to envision the scenario. After a brief moment, you respond, "Yes, I do.”
Bucky raises his hand, cupping your cheek and tilting your head until your eyes meet in the mirror. A proud smile graces his lips.
"Then that's the outfit you're wearing tonight," he declares, his voice filled with certainty and adoration.
You smile timidly at him, not really sure how to deal with this… respect, coming from a boyfriend. His hand starts to travel down through your stomach.
“When the other dudes look at you, and they will…” Bucky lowers his mouth to the shell of your ear and whispers, “I’ll make sure to show them that you’re mine, alright?”
His words cut straight to your core, and you involuntarily press your ass against him, feeling his already hard length. You gasp. He whispers your name.
“Keep doing this and we’re not gonna leave this bedroom tonight.” He murmurs with a deep tone.
“Would it be so bad?” You fake pout, grinding against him again, on purpose this time.
“Well, I really want to show you off in that outfit, so…” He says, but can’t help himself from lowering his hands to the hem of your dress, leaving goosebumps along the way.
“Bucky…” You sigh when he starts giving lingering kisses along the curve of your neck and the bottom of your earlobe.
“But I suppose we have some time before our lateness becomes socially unacceptable, right?” He whispers, sneaking two fingers under the fabric, millimeters away from where you need his touch the most.
“How much?” You ask, watching as Bucky frees his flesh hand from the glove to let you know what’s about to happen.
“Enough,” he says, dragging one finger along your clothed cunt, and moaning at your drenched panties. “Already, baby?”
You only hum in response. He uses his other hand to pull down your panties and lightly tap on your hip, signaling you to step off of them. You obey. Returning his fingers to where they were before, he drags them along your lips, collecting your wetness, and starts the slow circles on your clit. Mustering that confidence Bucky just unburied from a locked place inside your brain, you cover his hand with yours and guide him to your entrance.
“No teasing,” you plead.
Bucky chuckles. “What a greedy woman you are.”
He circles your entrance for a few moments before slowly inserting two digits all the way up, your wet walls making it easy for him. You moan, relieved, and rest the back of your head on his shoulder.
“That enough to make you roll your eyes, darlin’?”
You try rolling your hips, but Bucky quickly encircles your waist with his metal arm, firming his grip so you remain still.
“Please, Bucky…”
“Oh, baby, you know I can’t resist when you beg,” he kisses and bites your shoulder, then curls his fingers inside of you, his knuckles rubbing on that delicious spot inside your hole as he presses his clothed cock against your ass again, “and look at this dress, see what you do to me?”
You feel a twitch in your stomach when Bucky starts stimulating your clit with his thumb, along with the in-and-out movement of his fingers.
“Open those beautiful eyes for me, would ya’?” He asks softly. “See how pretty you get when you beg like that.”
You silently thank the universe that he’s firmly holding you, because his words make your knees almost give in. Panting, you comply with his request, fixing your gaze in the spot where he’s fingering you under your dress. Just like everything else about you, he notices the direction of your eyes.
“You wanna see it, baby? Wanna watch while I fuck you with my fingers?” He asks carefully, amusement lacing his deep voice.
You whimper, imagining the sight, and nod frantically.
“Go ahead, dirty girl.” He encourages.
Satisfied with the permission, you lift one of your legs and place your foot at the bottom of your bed, granting you two full access to the view. You both watch Bucky’s motions in awe, the wetness that covers his fingers reflecting the dim light of the room, silent except for the squishy noises his fingers make as he fucks them into your pussy. The sight almost makes Bucky drop down to his knees to worship you like the Goddess he honestly thinks you are. Actually,  if he didn’t know you’re only standing because of his arm around you, he’d probably do just that.
“Like what you see?” He whispers in your year.
You moan in approval, trying to move your hips, but Bucky’s grip is strong, and he smirks.
“Magic word?”
“Faster.” You demand suddenly.
That’s not quite the word Bucky was expecting, but he’s too stunned by your behavior to care. You two had sex before — as soon as you gave him indication that you wanted it, because how could he resist you? —, but it was always so… loving. I mean, Bucky really wants to show you how tender real love can be, but he’s absolutely relishing this newfound confident side of yours. Never had he imagined you could be so filthy, and he really wants to beat the shit out of your ex for making you think that you have to hide it. Also, as he had already imagined it would, your slight dominance leaves him at your mercy, and he moans as he pleases you, fastening his movements.
That familiar knot starts to build up in your belly, and you try hard not to roll your eyes, not wanting to miss a single moment of the view.
“Bucky…” you call, finding it harder and harder to breathe. “I’m gonna come.”
“Do it, baby. Let go for me.” He whispers next to your ear, satisfied to feel your tight walls clenching his fingers. “You’re such a good girl. So fucking beautiful in this dress.”
With the fog of pleasure taking over your brain as the words hit your ears, you moan loudly and let the overwhelming feeling consume you. Bucky can’t quite keep himself from grinding against your ass as you drench his fingers with your sweet nectar, whimpering while he fingers you all the way through your orgasm. He watches, grunting in pleasure, as you fight your eyelids from closing, until you can’t control yourself anymore, going limp into his arms and rolling your eyes with relief.
Coming down from the high, you look at him through the mirror, smiling sheepishly as you watch him raise the two fingers he just used to make you come and suck them hungrily, licking until there’s no trace of your orgasm anymore. Finding it hard to decide if he should compose himself and drag both your horny asses to the bar or toss you in bed and keep your legs spread open for him to eat out as he pleases until the morning lights, an idea pops into his head.
“You’re on birth control, right?” He asks. He never fucked you bare before, so he never had to ask, but, well… There's a first time for everything, right?
“I am, why?” You ask, still a little dizzy.
He smirks, then gets you by the waist and tosses you in bed unceremoniously, making you gasp in surprise and then giggle.
“Bucky, we have to go.” You remind him, but give no indication that you’ll get up.
You watch as your boyfriend determinedly undresses himself, unashamedly staring at his built up body. The muscles from his abdomen tightens as he bends down to get rid of his jeans, and you lick your lips seeing his long length being freed, already hard with need.
“Sam’s got time. He can wait.” He answers, using his knees to spread your thighs apart as he positions himself right where he belongs: between them.
You make a motion to undress yourself, but when Bucky realizes what you’re doing, he stops you.
“Keep the dress.” He says, and you lay back.
You feel the coldness of Bucky’s dog tags touch the skin of your chest as he towers over you, using his metal hand to support himself and the flesh one to cup your cheek and caress it with his thumb. His expression turns into a soft one.
“When those guys out there look at you dressed like this…” he teases your over sensitive entrance with his tip, the sensation almost too overwhelming. Almost. “They’ll desire you, baby, and they’ll have no clue that you’re walking around with my cum dripping from this pretty pussy.”
With one swift motion, he enters you, unable to contain the pornographic moan that leaves his lips. You gasp in surprise, both from the lack of a condom and from the fact that Bucky never filled you up so abruptly like this. You’re not complaining, though, as you feel his bare skin stretching your soft walls.
“You like that, baby?” He asks when you raise your hands to his short hair and pull it. “Everyone will see you in this beautiful dress and they won’t even imagine that I just fucked the shit out of you in it.”
Bucky slowly – so slowly – takes his cock out of your hole, leaving just the tip, and sharply enters you again, earning an almost scream from your lips.
“Want them to know…” you manage to say hoarsely “Want them to know I’m yours.”
Your words hit Bucky in an instinctive place of his brain, awakening all those raw feelings of protection and possessiveness inside his subconscious, and he almost finishes then and there. He thrusts into you vigorously once again before answering.
“Oh, they will,” if you had the mind to pay attention, you'd notice his voice just got impossibly lower, “we’ll show them, alright? You and me.”
Bucky loses the ability to make coherent sentences as he feels your walls clenching around him, a sign that you’re already getting close again. Without hesitation, he fastens his movements, losing himself in the feeling of your soft interior.
His thrusts are harsh, but still caring in a way, since you know he’s not doing it to hurt you, but to please you. He kisses you passionately, holding your face and licking the inside of your mouth, because if he's being honest with himself, if you keep almost screaming his name like you were, he might as well not last as long as he needs to make you come again.
You wrap your legs around his waist, the new angle making you feel him even deeper inside your cunt, and he almost loses it when he feels you dragging your heels along his lower back.
With one hand, you scratch his back hard enough to feel his warm blood staining your fingers, growing desperate with the tight knot that’s once again forming inside you. Bucky kisses and bites and licks your neck, not giving a damn about the pain — enjoying it, even. Your other hand goes straight to your clit and you start treating yourself with just the right amount of pressure and speed. The action, of course, doesn’t go unnoticed by Bucky, and he grunts in approval.
The headboard slams into the wall as Bucky feels his movements start to become a little sloppy. “Gonna come.” He says, panting “Gonna come inside you, baby. Gonna make you all mine.”
A jolt of electricity travels down your spine, getting you closer and closer to the edge, and you buckle your hips up in excitement.
“Let go, Bucky.” You command, making him roll his eyes. “Fill me up, make me yours.”
“Need you to come first, darlin’. Need to feel you co- Ah” Bucky’s request is interrupted by the loud moan you let out when you finally snap, no longer able to control your second orgasm of the day. He follows you not a long time after, as you can feel his hot seed painting your walls white, and he drops his forehead to your shoulder.
You don’t even have a chance to catch your breath when you feel his thick fingers once again entering your overstimulated pussy. You whimper, holding his wrist.
“Just a little bit, sweetheart,” he coos, “gotta make sure it stays inside.”
You whimper again, but let him do his thing, hearing the squishy noises his fingers make as they shove every drop of his seed all the way up before it slips away. Then he proceeds to get up, put on his clothes and retrieve your panties from the floor.
“Can you lift your legs for me, doll?” He asks, and you obey. “That’s my good girl.”
Bucky slides the piece of lingerie up your legs, until they’re back to their place — securing his cum inside of you — and helps you get up, holding your hips until he’s sure you can still walk.
Just as you were going to comment on the plans you two have, you hear Bucky’s phone ringing from his pocket.
“Hi, Sam.” He answers, staring at you. “We’re on our way. We had a little bit of a… situation.” A playful smirk adorns his lips as he says that. “No, I didn’t make her up, Sam. She’s real, we’re just a little late.”
You chuckle. When Bucky invited you to meet his friend — Bucky calls him a colleague, but you can see by the look on his eyes that he cares about him like a dear friend — Sam Wilson (yes, the Captain America), he warned you Sam would probably question if you’re real, since he can’t believe the “bionic staring machine” could be so charming as to find a girl for himself.
Said staring machine hangs up the phone and gives you a peck on the lips.
“Ready?”
He guides you to the door after you secure him you can walk by yourself, opening it for you like the gentleman he is. However, before you can get out, he stops you.
You look at him questioningly.
“Everyone will know that you’re mine,” he reassures, “and if you behave…” he lowers his head until you can feel his warm breath against the skin of your ear, “when we get back, I’ll make sure to worship you like the fucking Goddess you are.”
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tia-222 · 2 months
Note
The void is The quantum field?
I found out about the void back in november 2023 on pinterest, and I joined tumblr because of it. Last night, I came across a tiktok video with the title "how to know if you're in the quantum field in your joe dispenza meditation". The girl in the video basically said things like: -Being disconnected from your 3D reality, how disconnected you are from the 3d from the meditation. -in order to create from the quantum, you can't be in space time, you have to be in time space. -You can't be trying to create from 3D, you have to be creating from "NOTHINGNESS" -going to your inner world Link to the tt video: https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSF1nWtBc/ That's what she said. It hits me when she mentioned the word "nothingness" because the void is basically also the nothingness. The void is being everything and NOTHING at the same time. And I thought does that mean the quantum field and the void are the same thing? so if we do joe dispenza quantum field meditation we can get into the void? So you can simply go into the void/quantum field thru his meditation? I'm not promoting doctor joe dispenza or anything i wouldn't call myself an expert im just someone in the void community. I just thought this could help you guys! Anyway I found some of his quantum meditation on yt: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DwHLLVvPAng&pp=ygUlam9lIGRpc3BlbnphIHF1YW50dW0gZmllbGQgbWVkaXRhdGlvbg%3D%3D https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3PWmCQMKwEw&t=27s&pp=ygUlam9lIGRpc3BlbnphIHF1YW50dW0gZmllbGQgbWVkaXRhdGlvbg%3D%3D https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N_Jz7iy7wN0&t=600s&pp=ygUlam9lIGRpc3BlbnphIHF1YW50dW0gZmllbGQgbWVkaXRhdGlvbg%3D%3D I'd recommend doing the first one which is 1h 30mins bc idk it seems better. It may be long but do it for your desire life. Note: English is not my first language, I have never posted sth like this before idk if my explanations is understandable. I just want to share this everyone in the community.! @voidprincessblog pls help share this to everyone 😭😭😭
Hii love!! omg tysm for this <33.
Yess, the void has many different names to it and the " Quantum Field " is one of them. I've read becoming supernatural by Dr Joe dispenza and it's phenomenal. Many people have entered the Void State/ Quantum Field. I'm gonna talk about this right now and link some stuff from the book that y'all can read from.
What does Dr Joe dispenza say about the " QUANTUM FIELD " ?
" As you enter this endless, vast space as an awareness, there are no bodies, no people, no objects, no places, and no time. Instead, infinite unknown possibilities exist as energy. So if you find yourself thinking about knowns in your life, you are back in the three-dimensional reality of space and time. But if you can stay in the blackness of the unknown for long enough, it will prepare you to create unknowns in your life. "
Success story of how someone got healed Instantly :
" After they unfolded into the quantum field, I then asked them to dimensionalize a scene from their Mind Movie. When the meditation was finished, I instructed them to lie down on the floor—but as Sarah told me later, she couldn’t find the floor. She kept reaching lower and lower, searching for it, but it was no longer there. The next thing she knew, she was in another dimension having a full-on IMAX-like sensory experience—but without her senses. She was living a future scene of her Mind Movie. Enough circuits in her brain had turned on to make her internal experience as real as any external experience she had ever had. She was not visualizing this scene—she was in it, living it.
“I realized I was in another reality, a different time and space—I was in my future,” she explained. “And I was actually performing aerial yoga. I was hanging upside down and the floor wasn’t there. I kept reaching for it, but I was just swinging upside down from this beautiful red silk scarf. I felt freedom from my pain. I was swinging freely in space.” Eventually she did lie down, with tears of joy flowing down her cheeks. When she came out of that meditation, all of her pain was gone.
“I knew I was healed,” she said. “I was in awe of the power of my mind and I felt tremendous gratitude. I continue to manifest things from my Mind Movie—in fact, my Mind Movie can’t even keep up with my life.”
Also, there was an anon from an deactivated blog which spoke about entering the void by using Dr Joe dispenza way. I'm gonna copy and paste it here, and link it too 🖤.
" i have a fabulous book by dr.joe dispenza (how to become supernatural). he talks of the void state or the zero state and how you’re open to all possibilities and timelines. in it, he directed to first become aware of your body, the space you take between the folds of your skin, the space you take in your room, your home, your neighborhood, and the world. now- you must forget all of this and focus only on the black behind your eyelids. you must become no one, no thing, no body, no time in space. you must forget of your accomplishments, your worries, relationships- anything that makes YOU, you. literally on the first “try” of doing what he said i got into the void. it’s so easy i understand how stressful and confusing the void can be but just try to let go of all of that and focus on being nothing. imagine a beam of light going through the black space where your affs travel. stay focused and try not to dwell on the 3D. do not pay attention to the time or if you’re itchy- whatever. just having a clear mind helped me so much. ofc, this is not required but it does help!! " Original link
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mydearesthrry · 9 months
Text
love in secret - h.s.
a/n: ohhhh my loves this one is a mess. please bear with me!!! it gets better. i promise. i love this one so so dearly and its very special to me so please be kind :’( i love you i love you i love you, thank you for choosing to read my work. enjoy <3
🎀 warnings/cw: a really weird creepy uncle (weird comments/advances on yn), a weird creepy guy at a bar, a weird girl at a birthday party, angst, harry yells lol, FLUFF CANT EMPHASIZE THIS ENOUGHHHH, PROTECTIVERRY nothing too out of the ordinary for me
🐇 pairing: best friend!reader x harry styles to lovers
💐 wc: 5.9k (not edited, completely unproofread)
summary: 5 times when Y/N and harry communicated with just a look to each other, or, 5 times where they just understood.
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— 1
The lights in the restaurant were bright. Blinding, really. YN had a hard time even keeping a conversation with someone due to the lights being so bright and her needing to shut her eyes tightly every couple of seconds. It was unfortunate enough that she showed up to the dinner with a headache beginning to brew at the nape of her neck, and she cursed herself in her head at the fact that she let herself just ignore it. The room was filled with loud chatter and laughter, the other patrons enjoying themselves and letting loose with the alcohol provided to them. Her head was hung, hair falling around the sides of her face, allowing for a nice shield to dim the lights a little bit, providing her eyes a little bit of solace from the intrusive brightness. 
“Alright y’guys, I’m really tired and I think ‘M gonna head out now.” She could hear Harry announce to the table, pushing his chair back with his legs as he tapped on YN’s thigh with his right hand. Pushing himself up with his legs, he leaned down to whisper a quick ‘get your stuff’ to YN. She agreed without another word, and stood to grab her purse from where it was hung on the chair, pulling it up onto her shoulder as she wrapped her arms around herself, suddenly feeling chilly out of nowhere. Harry noticed this– of course he did– and draped the jacket he had resting on his forearm over her shoulders. YN and Harry both said their goodbyes, no one questioning YN packing up her things. Everyone knew that wherever she went he would follow, and wherever he went she would follow.
Slinging his arm over her shoulder, Harry gave one last goodbye from the both of them, before leading her to the back entrance to avoid paparazzi, knowing how much that would hurt her head. He could sense that she was feeling weird from the second she grabbed a seat next to him, but didn’t question her about it. As the night went on, he noticed how she kept blinking harshly, kept rubbing her temples with her fingertips, or rested her forehead on his shoulder for comfort. Suddenly, when she let her head fall, he realized exactly what was happening– she was having a migraine. 
Little to no words were shared between them during dinner in an attempt to catch up with their friends who they’d hadn’t seen in a long time, but they were still reminded of each others presence. Harry's been placing soft kisses onto her hair when he felt the weight of her head drop onto his shoulder while also keeping conversation to whoever he was talking to. YN linked their pinky fingers at the beginning of dinner, letting it hang between the two of them for the rest of the night until she had to rub her temples to try and ease the pain. While they didn’t really speak, they had conversations with their eyes that only they could understand. 
Harry initially checked on her when she lifted her head from his shoulder the third time, turning his head to look at her only to see that she was already waiting for him. He gave her a look that asked if she was okay, and she answered silently with a small head nod. Even though he didn’t buy it, he left it alone since he knew that they’d be leaving soon anyway.
When she finally got to the sweet solace of Harry’s car, a sigh of relief left her at the darkness inside. The interior of his car was all black with tinted windows, so the dim of the streetlights couldn’t bother her as much either. 
“Lovie, y’should’ve told me y’had a migraine, would’ve gotten y’home instantly.” Harry scolds in a low, quiet voice, a frown on his lips when he saw the way she slumped down into the passenger seat, head falling back onto the headrest. 
“I know, I’m sorry. Just looked like you were having fun.” She whispered, knowing her voice at full volume would hurt her head. 
“Y’are way more important to me than a dinner with our friends. We can see our friends whenever, and it would be much more convenient for the both of us if y’were healthy while doing so.” He grumbled, grabbing the steering wheel with his left hand and reaching over to rest his right hand on her thigh. 
“Well, I’m sorry to hear I’m such a burden,” She spat, voice still low. She opened her eyes when she heard nothing but silence to see Harry giving her a look to which she sighed at, grabbing his hand to twist the rings around on his fingers. “I know what you mean. Jus’ being stubborn right now.”
He snorts, “Trust me, I know. ‘S like it’s y’middle name.” He squeezes her hand at the soft laugh she gives, his heart pumping the slightest bit faster.
“Back to mine?” He whispers.
“Obviously.” 
— 2
YN rested her back along the arm of the couch, knees pulled up so that she only took up one cushion. Even if the rest of the couch was completely unoccupied beside her, she wanted to be as respectful as possible. The room was almost full by the way producers, writers, and managers scattered around, but she was only there for one of them; the boy in the booth. Harry’s been recording for about 2 hours now and she knew that he was overdue for a break, however, she also knew that he wouldn’t step foot outside of the booth until what he recorded was 100% to his liking, and they both knew that his perfectionist tendencies was his vice. 
She sat around for a bit longer, silently playing games on her phone mindlessly while periodically checking the time, until she heard a muffled shout come from the booth– the booth that she knew only had Harry in it. Looking up, she saw Harry with the studio headphones pulled down to hang around his neck, stepping to the side so he wouldn’t be shouting into the microphone. She rolled her eyes and stared at him in annoyance, waiting until he would eventually catch her gaze. Right when he did, he could already see the look in her eyes which made him look down ashamedly, taking the headphones from his neck to put on the mic stand, coming out of the booth like a puppy with its tail between its legs. He already knew he was about to get chewed out by the way she looked at him, almost disappointed by the way he seemed to lack self care when he was working. 
“Can we break for a minute, everyone? 30 minutes, tops.” She said loudly enough so everyone could hear her. Everyone immediately agreed and began to shuffle out of the room, leaving only YN and Harry in the space. Once the final person left and they heard the door click shut, she turned her head back to him with a distinct glimmer in her eyes. 
“Really, H?” She sighed, gesturing to him to join her on the couch. She slid her legs down and opened them a little, already knowing that he was going to fall and put his entire weight onto her. And she was right. The second she opened her arms, he slumped down into a sitting position at first, before laying down with his head resting just below her chin, head turned toward the soundboard with a pout on his raspberry lips. 
“I know, ‘M sorry,” He sighed, arms coming round to rest underneath her back in a loose hold, trying to get as much comfort as possible. “Jus’ hate when it doesn’t come out exactly how I envisioned it.” 
“I know, but overworking yourself and your precious voice doesn’t equate to anything and it especially won’t equate to perfection if you’re tired. Looking at it all, especially from my perspective, it jus’ looks like you’re being mean. Like, lashing out on all of those people… they’re tired too, bub. They don’t deserve this kind of treatment from you, especially not when you can help it. Are you seeing what I mean?” She tried to lay it out in the most delicate way possible while also knocking some sense into him, and it all started to make sense to him after all. 
“You do know you need to apologize to them, right?” She mutters into his hair, pressing the tiniest of kisses to his hair. 
“I know.  You’re right. I mean, you’re always right, but you’re especially right, right now. I dunno how y’always know me, or how you always know how t’make it better.” Harry grumbled. He hated this part. He hated when what he was envisioning didn’t come to full fruition right away. 
“It’s because I’m your best friend,” She could feel the way they both collectively tensed at her words, “It’s just what I do. I know you better than anyone else in this world and I have since we were toddlers. There’s no way you can be surprised now, ‘M basically your only friend.”
He laughed along with her, trying his best to mask the rejection he felt when he heard her say that she was his best friend. “Y’are, lovie. The only one who knows me like this.” 
She hummed. “The only one who ever will,” She said in full conviction. He lifted his head to meet her eyes, their faces close to each other. He could feel her breath on his face, and when he went to lift himself up a little to be able to meet her lips, she cleared her throat and nudged up a bit, creating distance between them. 
Tangling her fingers back into his hair, she awkwardly whispered, “Now, rest for a little bit, bub. I’ll wake you up when they’re ready to go.”
— 3
It wasn’t out of the ordinary for YN and Harry to have dinner with each other’s families, but there was something about tonight that made the both of them have a weird twinge in their stomachs that tonight would be different. It started off normal, really. They showed up to YN’s parents house, one of her hands pushed into the crook of his arm. YN had a bottle of wine in her other hand while Harry had his shoved into his pocket. Ringing the doorbell, there was something about the lack of commotion coming from inside that made them share a weird glance, before they shrugged their shoulders in unison and put it to the side when they heard the lock click. 
YN’s mom opened the door with a sheepish grin on her face, and YN already knew she was going to spew out an apology for something.  
“Hi, my loves, missed you. But, before you both come in,” Her mom wiped her hands on the apron tied around her waist, “Uncle Rick is here.” 
YN and Harry both groaned, already dreading the dinner that hadn’t even started. They knew something was up when they didn’t hear the shouts of little kids wrestling each other to get to the door, and now it was completely explained why. 
Uncle Rick was her dad’s estranged brother who had only started coming around 5 or 6 Christmases ago, and the entire family has had a weird dislike for him since the beginning. He was creepy! As simple as that. He used to make weird comments on her and her sisters bodies, and he liked to talk to Harry about how much money Harry had, while also trying to push out a sob story so Harry would flit him some cash. It never worked, by the way. 
“That explains why the rascals weren’t here t’open the door,” Harry muttered, an annoyed and pouty look already on his face. He was excited to see the little ones, and they weren’t even here!
“Harry, stop with the look, don’t be a brat. Both of you, lighten up! I dislike him as much as you do but you two are the only ones who showed up for dinner. Your sisters bailed the second I mentioned him, so please just try to be nice?” YN’s mom scolded Harry. Since they’ve known each other since they were practically still in diapers, she treated him like her own and Anne did the same for YN. 
“I’ll try,” Harry grumbled, patting YN’s bum when her mom stepped out of the way to let them in. Unhooking their arms from each other, they pushed their coats off and hung them up. Turning to each other, they shared a look before inhaling deeply at the same time, entwining fingers. “We got this, lovie. I believe in us.”
YN only nodded, trudging forward with him trailing behind her, his arm lifting a bit from the small pull where their hands were conjoined. Walking into the kitchen, she greeted her dad with a side hug in an attempt to not let go of Harry, before pulling back to let Harry greet him as well. They stepped back and looked at her dad expectantly, a sigh emitting when he saw their faces. “Sorry, kiddos. Would’ve told you, but mom wanted you guys to be here to keep us sane.”
“It’s okay, dad, but you have to shut him down if he says something about me. You promised last time.” She sighed, leaning into Harry the slightest bit for no reason other than familiarity and comfort. 
“I will, Princess. I promise.” He shook his head fast, immediately abiding to the promise he made a couple of months ago. 
“Alright, bub, let’s go say hi,” YN mentally prepared herself as they walked over to the living room, humming when her mom told her to get him for dinner. YN subconsciously tightened her grip on Harry’s hand, him doing the same. “Hi Uncle Rick, you remember Harry, right?”
“How couldn’t I remember? Y’bring that bugger around more than anyone else, I woulda thought he got you locked down. Quite annoying, that one is.” Uncle Rick’s feet were propped up onto the coffee table, a feeling of disgust already swirling in both of their chest when they could smell the mix of beer and smoke oozing from his pores.
“Um– He’s literally right here, and you just called him annoying?” She said quite exasperatedly, a muffled groan leaving her lips. “Whatever, it’s fine. Mom wanted us to tell you that dinner’s ready.”
“God, finally! Your moms been taking forever, annoying how long she takes to get everything ready. I mean, isn’t that her job? To cook and clean? She does a pretty shit job at it if I’m honest.” The man groaned, struggling to even get off the couch. He walked past them and placed a hand on YN’s waist when he passed by, making her jump and twist into the front of Harry’s body. He caught her with ease, letting go of her hand to wrap his arms around her body. He could feel how tense she was, her unease and anger radiating off of her in waves. 
“Fuck. My. Life.” She muttered, leaning her face fully into his chest, banging her forehead against it with each word. Harry hummed, placing a few kisses onto her head to conceal the fact that he too, was bubbling with anger. 
“Gonna kill him, lovie. The fuck was that, anyway? Calling me annoying when I’m right here? 5 feet away from him? Not a lot of cogs turning in tha’ one’s head, I’ll tell ya,” Harry snorted, trying to relax his best friend a little bit. “Calm down, babe, practically shakin’ in m’arms.” 
She sighed, nodding into him. Comfort slowly seeped into her when she felt the gradual pressure of his arms behind her back. “I know, I’m sorry. Thank you for being here, though, you’re the bestest friend I could’ve ever asked for.” 
Harry isn’t afraid to admit his heart shatters the tiniest bit at this. He even goes far to unwrap his arms from her frame prematurely, plastering on a fake smile before she can see the frown he had on. “‘S what I’m here for.” 
A confused look made its way onto YN’s face, wondering what she said wrong to make him let her go. Opening her mouth to ask, she shut it right after she heard her mom call to them.
“Kids, come eat now!” She shouted.
“Coming!” YN called back, giving Harry one last look, a small look of hurt in her eyes, before pivoting on her heel to walk to the dining room. 
They sat down, Uncle Rick at the head of the table with YN and Harry on one side, and her parents on the other. Harry frowned when she didn’t scooch her chair over a bit to be closer to him, and he looked at the amount of space that was between them. Taking initiative, he moved his chair over and rested his hand on her thigh, YN grumbling under her breath but grabbing his hand anyway and interlocking their fingers. Although he was right handed, he’d sacrifice his dominant hand to hold hers any day. 
The four of them talked easily, Uncle Rick staying out of the conversations mainly, but he hummed or protested every so often to give pieces of mind (even though it was severely unneeded).
“So, YN, I heard that you graduated a couple of months out of medical school? How’d that go? Normally girls your age sleep around to graduate from something so difficult, hm?”  Uncle Rick commented disgustingly, food spewing out of his mouth since he was talking with his mouth full.
“Um– sorry, what?” YN choked on the wine she brought, a fiery look already in her eyes. Her parents’ expressions dropped instantly, her dad already trying to sputter out an apology.
“If you’re implying that I slept with the higher ups to graduate then I’m sorry, you’re dead wrong. I worked so hard to get to where I am now, and maybe if you hadn’t been estranged, mind you, we didn’t even know who you were, then maybe you would’ve noticed. Or maybe, you’d still be the same sleazy prick you’ve always been. Either way, it’s no bother to me, I know how you feel after all. The way you try to subtly touch me and my sisters, we all notice it, but we’ve been biting our tongue for so long, because you know what? You’re family. But I’ve honestly had enough of it. Mom, Dad, me and H are leaving, thank you for dinner, but I really, really can’t.” She spewed out without missing a beat, tugging Harry up with her. He turned his head to look up at her, but he could see the upset look in his eyes and stood up without another word. He let go of her hand to go around the table to kiss her moms cheek and to clap her dad on the back. 
He walked over to the threshold to leave, before deciding to give a little to this conversation as well. “Y’know, Uncle Rick, I tried m’hardest to be respectful as well, and I always wanted t’make a good impression, especially since I was with my best friends family, but I’ve been here f’longer than y’have to know that they’d love me either way, so I’ll just say this before I go; I didn’t mind when you’d make comments about me, but it’s another thing when y’making weird comments about her. She’s everything t’me, m’soulmate, really, and I feel bad that you’ve probably never had one. It would explain why y’so miserable, wouldn’t it?” 
Rick tried to say something, but was quickly cut off. “And I pity that you’ll never get to see how wonderful YN is. I really do pity y’for that. She’s incredibly smart, beautiful inside and out, and y’threw away the chance to have something amazing with her. So for your own benefit, I hope something changes f’you so you can get t’know her. But if not, don’t worry, really, we’re very fine off without you, anyway. Goodnight, Y/M/N and Y/D/N, it’s been wonderful seeing y’both again. ‘M sure we’ll be back soon in better circumstances, I hope.” 
And with that, he leaves the kitchen, leaving the three of them in awe.
Grabbing the both of their coats, noticing how YN had forgotten hers, he slammed the door shut and stalked quickly to the car, noticing how she was already in her assigned seat (He’d always joked about how she was the prettiest passenger princess), gnawing on her lips as glimmering tears lay stagnant in her eyes. He walked faster when he clocked this, knowing that her biting her lips was an anxious tic of hers. Popping open the door, he sat and settled into the driver's seat as fast as possible, turning on the ignition to power on the heater as quickly as he could. 
She turned her head to him, and he grabbed the back of her head in a tight hold, his other hand wounding around her waist. Sobs starting to fill the car, followed by soft shushing by Harry. 
“It’s okay, bub, y’so okay, I’m here, it’s okay.” He reassured, heart clenching at the gutwrenching sobs that left her. 
“Love y’so much, you’re s’perfect, and he’s so so wrong. You’re m’best friend in the world, the best person I know... Precious girl, wish y’saw yourself the way I see you.” He placed the softest of kisses to the side of her head, whispering sweet words to her until her sobs calmed and he felt her move her eyes from his shoulder, resting her chin on his shoulder. 
“I love you, H, no one I trust more in this world than you,” She whispered, pulling back to lay her temple on his cheek. Pulling back a little more, they now looked at each other, his eyes searching her watery ones. Their breaths hitched when they realized just how close they were to each other, knowing that if they were to move even an inch their lips would touch. They both moved forward a little, before jumping away from each other when Harry’s elbow pushed a little too hard on the center of the wheel, the horn honking. 
A shy laugh left her lips as she spun back to face the windshield, a soft blush coating her cheeks. “Home?” 
Harry cleared his throat, nodding slowly, a smile growing on his face when he realized that she referred to his house as home. “Yeah, bub, let’s go home.” 
— 4
“Harry! YN! Come in, come in!” They smiled at her friend Alex, who was already noticeably drunk, a pink flush on her cheeks. As much as they didn’t like parties, they decided to show up to Alex’s birthday party, the decision hard for the two of them since they knew it would pretty much be like a party at a frat house. Alex pulled on YN’s hand, dragging her inside to the party, Harry being tugged along as well when he grabbed YN’s outstretched one. They get dragged to the kitchen, being heavily encouraged by Alex to make a drink, before running away when she gets distracted by another one of her friends. 
“I guess bartender Harry’s making an appearance,” Harry shrugged, “What can I make f’you, bub?” 
She tilted her head, thinking it over. “My usual, please.” 
“One cherry vodka with sprite coming right up, sweets!” They talked for a little, giggling when Harry had opened a fresh liter of Sprite to make sure it was safe, which started spewing everywhere and in turn, all over his white shirt. “Fucks sake!” 
“Messy boy.” She giggled, taking the drink with a gracious smile. She took his hand to lead him to the living room, finding a few of her friends and talking to them, also making conversation with Harry who they knew because of how many times he’s met them. When YN had thought about it, she realized that he really is there every single time she goes out with her friends. It’s like she had her own personal bodyguard. 
After a few of her friends had come and gone, she placed her now empty cup on the counter that Harry was resting his back on, trying to stabilize himself as she relaxed herself into his body. “‘M gonna go up and use the bathroom real quick, will you be okay down here?” 
“Of course I’ll be okay, but you be safe, bub.” He sent her away with a pat to her bum, a squeal leaving her lips. He watched her walk away with a smile on his face, not even realizing how lovesick the grin must’ve looked. A poof of blonde hair in front of him distracted him from her figure, and when he looked down, he saw a girl with curled and messy blonde waves, thick eyeliner paired with red lipstick that’d grown messy throughout the night. “Hi?”
“You’re so hot.” Blondie commented bluntly. He stepped back to create some space between them, sliding his arm out of her rough grip. He couldn’t pinpoint the reason why her hands felt like sandpaper on his tanned skin, but it felt like he’d just been burned with a flat iron. 
“Oh, um… thank you? That’s very sweet, but I’ve got a girl-” He started. 
“She doesn’t need to know…” She purred, and disgust filled Harry’s face. 
“I’m flattered, but I really do have a girlfriend, and she’s here with me tonight, I’m not comfortable with this, ‘M sorry.” He tried again, but every time he would take a step backward, Blondie would take a step forward. Can she not take the hint?!
“Is the girlfriend in the room with us?” She started to get annoyed. A small weight lifted from his chest because he thought maybe if she got tired of him, she would just leave. He tried to wait for this plan to work, but he realized he didn’t even need to when he saw his precious girl descend down the stairs. Her eyes caught his, and he tried to iterate in his eyes that he needed help, and fast. She noticed and tried to go down the stairs a bit faster, not even caring if she stepped on someone. She walked fast to close the distance between them, burrowing herself in the space Harry provided when he lifted his arm as she was on her way over. 
“Hi baby,” YN started, pecking a kiss to his cheek sweetly, before turning her gaze to the girl in front of Harry. “Oh! I’m so sorry, that was so rude of me! Hi, I’m Harry’s girlfriend, YN. And you are…?” 
Blondie stared at YN’s outstretched hand in confusion, rolling her eyes and flipping her messy blonde hair over her shoulder, whacking YN in the face with the tips as she walked away. YN pulled a face of disgust, Harry immediately brushing her face off softly with his hand.
“Fuckin’ bitch, thinks she can take y’from me,” YN muttered under her breath, quiet enough to the point that even Harry himself couldn’t hear, which said a lot since they were practically telepathically connected. 
“Hm?” Harry questioned, but she didn’t say a word. 
“Nothing, just crazy to think that these girls think they can get you without getting through me first, that’s all.” She smiled up at Harry innocently. 
He snorted. “I send my luck out to anyone who even ends up trying. Thank you for saving me, bub. I owe you, big time.” 
“Just take me home now. Can we watch a movie?” 
“Anything f’you, Sweetheart.”
— 5
They didn’t really like these galas. 
To be honest, it wasn’t really their scene and they’d much rather be at Harry’s house, cuddled on the couch with her feet on his thighs, his fingers digging into the heels and soles of his feet mindlessly. 
They were in matching outfits, a silky emerald dress hugging her body whilst also accentuating her curves. Harry was clad in a velvety dark green suit, a black button up buttoned to just the middle of his torso matching her black YSL purse that she got as a graduation gift from him (among many other things against her wishes). They walked into the event arm in arm which wasn’t unusual for the pair. She tended to be his date to these once in a while events he’d agree to going to. The two had already walked in whispering and giggling about how they caught Glenne and Jeff sucking face in a darkened hallway near the entrance. 
Harry found a couple of his friends he’d made while in the process of making the album, YN standing close to his side with a polite smile on her face. After a couple of minutes, she’d become thirsty and, unnoticeably to anyone else, tapped her fingers on his forearm that her hand was hanging on. He looked to her, a soft but questioning smile on his face, and she scrunched her nose, clearing her throat to speak. “‘M gonna get a drink, bub. Getting a little thirsty, do you want anything?” 
He shook his head, turning fully to face her. She unhook her hand from the crook of his arm, nodding toward the bar. “D’you want me t’come with you?” 
She shook her head no, already stepping back to move towards the bar. “I’ll be okay, jus’ keep an eye on me in case I need saving, yeah?” 
“Of course, only have eyes f’you anyway.” He unashamedly flirted, chuckling at the bashful look on her face, turning her gaze to anything but him to will away the blush begging to make itself known on her cheeks. 
“Cheeky boy, I’ll be back.” She smiled, shaking her head. He pulled her in a little, pressing a soft kiss to her temple before sending her away, following her figure with his eyes to ensure she was safe on the less than eight feet walk to the bar. Once assured she was there safely, he turned his gaze to his gaggle of friends, making small talk with them, nothing more than work and the weather. He’d shared a couple of laughs before his brain made itself aware that his other half wasn’t back to his side as quickly as it would normally take her, and he turned his head to look for his girl– not his girl, but– no, she was his girl. They’d both known it anyway. 
His heart dropped to about his toes when he saw her turn her head too, a quick panicked glimmer in her eyes. He was unsure if he was reading her correctly, but when he kept his gaze trained on her for a little longer and watched as she gave him the same panicked look, he knew she was in trouble. She looked back forward, trying to be as polite as possible, and he excused himself from the group in the blink of an eye. Striding over as fast as his legs would allow, he slowed his pace down a little to not look suspicious to any onlookers. He found her quickly, her head turning once more, a now relieved and slightly amused look in her eyes. Clocking the creepy looking guy standing in front of her, he said fuck all to looking suspicious and picked up his pace once more. 
He closed the distance between them quickly, pressing his front against her back gently, trying his best to not be overbearing. The heat radiating from his body automatically calmed her, feeling the way he let his arm snake around his waist to let his hand sit on the small space between her hip and her waist, a large tattooed hand resting on her tummy. She placed the drink onto the bar, laying her cold hand onto his warm one. He leaned towards her head, kissing her hair and humming when she leaned her head a bit into his lips. 
“Hi m’love, who’s this?” He asked while tilting his head down to look at her, finding her eyes to send her a message to go along with him. She looked up too, reading his eyes instantly and knowing what they were going to do. Just like they did at the house party, they were going to fake date for a little bit. This was him returning the favor.
“Hi baby, this is Jack, Jack, this is my boyfriend– um… Peter.” She giggled, not being able to think of a better name. “He said that he’s Jeff Azoff’s personal assistant,” Looking toward the guy who shriveled into himself with fear, a smirk present her lips. Obviously they both knew that Jeff didn’t have a male personal assistant– Glenne had given the job to her friend’s daughter, and they were just as close with her as they were Glenne herself. “He even said that he’s gotten to know Harry Styles quite well himself, also offered to take me to meet him after this event, isn’t he so sweet?” 
Harry had to lift a hand to rub his lips to prevent himself from laughing. “Oh yeah, darling, that would be wonderful. Think I can tag along with you? I’m a huge fan, and would love to meet the guy. Tonight might not be the best, though, I heard he’s at a fancy event or something.” 
“Oh, of course, baby, how could I forget? Could I have your phone? I could get Jack’s number so we can arrange something,” Turning to fully face Jack, she giggled a little at the way his complexion now was pale like he saw a ghost. The three of them knew he’d been caught in a lie. She felt the weight of his phone on her hand and pulled it up to her face, her face ID unlocking it instantly. “What was your number?” 
Jack stumbled over his words. “I- um… Uh- I just– Forget it.” Scrambling away as fast as he could, the two laughed together as she turned in his hold. She moved her arm down to drop his phone back into his pocket. She wounded her arms back up to place her arms on his biceps, a satisfied smile on her lips.
“Boyfriend, huh?” He grinned, resting his chin on the top of her head when she dropped it onto his chest, a groan leaving her lips.
“You started it!” She whined, lifting her head back up to meet his green eyes.
“I know, I know. Can’t believe it took you a Rory imposter to call me y’boyfriend, though. Been waiting forever for that, really. Sounds pretty coming from y’lips, if I’m honest.” A sigh tumbled from his lips, trying to subtly let her know what he was feeling. 
“Me too. In our very own romance book, eh? Fake dating trope and all.” She giggled, lifting her arms to wound around his neck, obviously picking up on what he was putting down.
They were finally having their moment. 
“Gonna let me make it real, Sweetheart?” He whispered, ducking his head down to be level with hers. 
“God, hurry up with it will you? Been waiting for this since we were teenag- oh!” She was cut off by his lips on hers. 
It was natural. Of course it was. 
The way their lips met made her truly believe in the romance books she was just joking about not even a second ago. She could taste the sweetness from the cookies they snacked on in the car on the seams of his lips, softness from the chapstick he borrowed from her still moisturizing his lips. He could feel every dip and crevice in hers if he focused enough– as if he wasn’t completely drowning in all of her. Her perfume, her hands on his neck, the taste of her lips. 
Pulling away with a quiet smack, he grinned as widely as humanly possible, bunny teeth making its full appearance, as well as his dimples. He placed another sweet kiss to her nose, making her scrunch up her face.
“Fuckin’ finally. So in love with you, sweet girl, m’best friend.” 
“Mm, love you, H.”
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