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#hurting myself has been on my mind all day and i can’t get it out of my head
misslovasstuff · 3 months
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Things that they say which make you weak in the knees
fem!reader x op!men: Zoro, Sanji, Law.
information: nsfw content is marked aside.
please support me here (⁎⁍̴̛ᴗ⁍̴̛⁎) : ko-fi
Zoro
“You’re so pretty when you fight”
The way you just send that guy flying with just one punch makes me think you can be so ruthless sometimes… I like it.”
“You decided to wear the most seductive perfume for me to get drunk on.”
“Come, rest on my lap.”
“I want to hold your hand just in case you get lost, you know…”
“I’ll never let you out of my grip.”
“You’re the sword I point to myself, my greatest weakness.”
“One more tear coming from your eyes and I’ll let the world know what it means to live in hell.”
“I got you one of those hair clips you like.”
“You’ve gotten stronger, so it will be soon enough that you will surpass curly eyebrows.”
“I’m so proud of you.”
“Well, can’t blame a man for not being able to say no to his woman.“
“You’re one of the strongest people I know, babe. Don’t get discouraged.”
“You feeding me food just made my whole day.”
“Just because I’m with a beautiful woman does not mean I know how I did it alright?”
“Beautiful, everything about you is so beautiful.”
“I’ve missed you all day, a lot.”
“Please say it one more time, say it again that you love me.”
NSFW
“Fuck baby, you’re tightening around me so much.”
“You like doing the exact opposite of what I tell you, huh? Then don’t bend over and absolutely don’t scream my name while I’m at it.”
“Every hole of yours takes me so well. Does your body only accept my cock?”
“You’ve been fantasising about this moment, right?”
“Spit out all the positions you’ve imagined yourself with me. We’re going to try them all.”
“Your gaze on me is so intense, what do you want baby? Whisper to me all your nasty thoughts?”
“I like it when you scream like that, go even louder if you want. Let yourself go wild, I’m here with you, I got you.”
“Look at yourself, your hips are moving on their own. Are you this eager for me?”
“Leaving all these marks on my skin, what do you want to show? That I’m yours? There is none in the world who doesn’t know that I belong to you.”
Sanji
“Where does your beauty come from? The heavens?”
“I haven’t really known love before laying my eyes on you.”
“Mon amour, the dress I got looks marvellous on you, my goodness…I can’t look away. Don’t mind your boyfriend staring at you for a while.”
“I made your favourite dessert, love. And no, it won’t make you fat, and no it was not a bother for me. You’re never a bother for me cher. Now open your mouth.”
“Who hurt you like this? Tell me. I know you’re kind and don’t want to hurt anyone, but I need to meet the bastard who did this to you.”
“Pretty girl looking at the pretty sunset not knowing she’s prettier, no, the prettiest!”
“Your hair has grown so beautifully during the past few months, sweetheart. You look like a fairy princess.”
“Wait I don’t want you to go and leave me alone with mosshead! Pleaseeeee, baby nooooo!”
“Is this guy bothering you?”
“Look man, can’t you see the lady has no interest in you whatsoever? Keep walking and don’t you dare even to look back at her, bastard!”
“I read the little note you left for me in the kitchen, it’s still not funny that you sign with a spiral brow every time.”
NSFW
“I’ll start begging if you keep teasing me like this, mon cœur.”
“So afraid to kiss your lips and taint them with mine. How can I not tremble when I touch something so heavenly?
“Slow down, Angel. All this is here for you.”
“You taste so good, I want more…more…”
“Such a good girl for putting your legs over my shoulders, you know what your boyfriend likes, don’t you sweetheart?”
“Yes, baby exactly like that. Move your tongue around it just like that.”
“Feel how deep I am in you, feel it, touch it.
“Is it alright if I start moving it? Well, perhaps it’d be good to ask myself that too because I’m feeling so overwhelmed right now.”
“Mon amour, tell me how you like it, tell me what you want, I’ll do it all for you.”
“I’ve been thinking all day of being inside you.”
“Your boobs pull my hands like magnets. Let them be the hill I die on.”
“I’m restraining my moans cause I know you’ll make fun of me later. However, I can’t help but whimper under your touch.”
“I’ll fuck you like the very first day. You remember what position you were in, don’t you? Then, be a good girl and bend over for me.”
Law
“You don’t have to put all the pressure on yourself. I’m here so relax.”
“How come you’re so confident and so shy at them same time? That’s adorable.”
“Go out with me, I promise I’ll make you the happiest woman in all the seas!”
“I could never foresee experiencing this feeling. Is this what it feels like to fall in love? Do you…do you feel it too?”
“I’ve done many mistakes in my life but you are not one.”
“I found you, someone I want to protect and risk my life for. How can I gather the strength to let go of your hand now?”
“I’m not blushing! It’s not blush it’s just the freaking sun!”
“Look, it’s hard talking about feelings ok? I need a moment to think how to not completely crumble when I gaze at your eyes.”
“How can someone so precious like you exist?”
“Your soul radiates a light so strong that it pushes off all my senses. Can I touch you?”
“I trust you. Please come back safely.”
“Allies? You specify our relationship as allies? That’s it?!
NSFW
“That’s why you were waiting for me on the deck, so you could get dicked down tonight?”
“I’ll touch you only if you use that pretty mouth of yours to beg. Come on sweetheart, don’t be mad at me, I’ve spoiled you way to much.”
“While I’m at it, start thinking of other places you want to be fucked at. The night is long, beautiful.”
“Look at me. Yes, with that satisfaction in your eyes. Take my fingers in your mouth and don’t be loud. Surely you don’t want your crew to see you in such position, yes?”
“Fuck, where did you learn to suck like that?”
“You can’t see them but there are marks in your ass from all the slapping. Only you would be crazy enough to tattoo them.”
“Driving me crazy here, you’re riding me like there’s no tomorrow. Please, don’t stop.”
“You’re so rough… I love it…I love you.”
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veethefreeelf · 6 months
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How many times does it take to get smarter? Y.JH
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Summary: 
Jeonghan and you start a fwb relationship after years of being best friends. He only has two rules: no feelings and no kissing. Who’s going to break the rules first?
Wordcount: around 6.3k
Warnings: unprotected sex, vaginal penetration, oral sex (f. receiving), fingering, bossy Jeonghan
Requested: Yes, here
P.S - Italic is for thoughts mainly from Y/N’s perspective and quotes. Bold is for text messages and/or calls between characters
As you sit on your couch on your day off and stare at the message in your phone, you ask yourself: How did this all start anyway? How are you sitting here, sexting your best friend in the middle of the afternoon and absolutely loving it? Well, for most of your shared friends, ‘this was bound to happen sooner or later’ as they so lovingly put it but, for both you and Jeonghan (the one on the receiving end of the sexting) this was never supposed to happen and it can end just as abruptly as it started.
You don’t remember exactly who leaned in and started all of this but you do remember the conversation after your boundaries as best friends had been completely crossed. While still naked and tangled, Jeonghan immediately stated he would like to continue doing this with you on a friends with benefits basis only, and if you agreed, he had only two main rules for this whole thing. 
First rule was a pretty cliché one: no feelings. You remember laughing at this when it first said it and teasing him for such a cliché move.
“It’s cliché for a reason, love. It happens more than it should” you remember how serious he sounded.
Second rule was an unbelievable one and it made you laugh even harder than the previous: no kissing. Now it makes sense why he did not kiss you at all during that first time you were together even though you were very (VERY) interested in doing so.
“Hannie, are you being serious? Who am I? The mistress you can’t kiss because if you do, it’s considered cheating on the non-existing housewife waiting for you at home?” you really couldn’t stop laughing.
“Kissing is reserved for people I want a serious relationship with and see myself being with in the long run” he said, even more serious this time around.
You stopped laughing immediately and… It hurt. That comment stung. Looking back on it, you realize this may have been a sign that you should not say yes to his proposition. That there was only one way this ‘agreement’ was going to end: badly. WIth you in tears. 
But you ignored that initial sting and pain. You ignored that initial sign from your brain and heart and said yes.
Jeonghan let you know there were essentially no other rules. You could call and/or text whenever you needed him and wanted to have him and he would do the same. Your friendship would remain the same, still having your weekly dinner and movie/show and, whenever either of you wanted to end this, for whatever reason, it would immediately end. One thing he kept saying was “No matter what, no matter how this ends, I still want you in my life, love. You are one of the most important people in my life, and that will never change”.
You nodded silently. But of course he would not let you get away with just nodding. He takes out his most powerful weapon against you. His pinkie. He wanted you to pinkie promise that your friendship would remain the same after you were done fucking each other casually. You remember how much a pinkie promise means to Jeonghan. The words ‘It can never be broken’ pop up in your mind and you hesitate. 
This was sign two. You got two signs from yourself during that same initial conversation with him to stop this before you both ruined what you have built together over the years.
Yet… You did it. You lifted your pinkie and you made that promise to each other. Why did it suddenly feel like you wouldn’t be able to hold up the end of your promise when the time came? ‘We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it’ you had told yourself.
After that first time, you didn’t speak to each other for two weeks. The only messages exchanged between the two of you were the ones he sent to cancel your weekly meetings. You thought this was very strange. In all the years you have known each other and started this weekly tradition, he missed one, maybe two in all that time. This was unlike the Jeonghan you knew and you started to wonder if the gravity of the situation had finally caught up with him. 
You have always had the tendency to overthink things. And a tendency to: ‘hurt yourself with your own imagination’ as Jeonghan lovingly put it. So you told yourself that maybe he was just busy with work or… Well… Maybe another fuck-buddy or one-night stand. That’s the thing about him, he rarely dates anyone seriously. However, fuck-buddies and one-night stands are something he revels in more than most. 
You never thought about it much. Always just figured he has high standards for who he dates and just wants to keep the loneliness at bay by having these agreements with different women. 
Now that you were one of these women, you wanted to know if this would be an exclusive fuck-buddy relationship. For health purposes, obviously. Not because you are a very jealous person who does not like sharing, of course. God, you hoped he was just busy with work and not with someone else. If he had been with someone else, did this mean you hadn’t been good enough? That whatever happened between the two of you didn’t satisfy him? That would be a depressing revelation since you were left extremely satisfied after your first time with Jeonghan.
As you sit on the edge of your bed, overthinking everything about the last time you and him were face-to-face, your phone starts to ring next to you and of course, it’s the man himself: Yoon Jeonghan.
“You home?” he states plainly.
“Well, hello to you too, Mr. Yoon. How have you been? Good! Me? Been good too, busy with work but you know-”
“Stop the games, Y/N. I’m not in the mood. You home or do I have to call someone else?” he said as he rudely interrupted your very passive aggressive answer.
“I’m home” you answered and swallowed thickly.
“Good. Be there in 30. Be ready” he said in a very low voice and proceeded to hang up on you.
Shit, that was new, you thought. You were not quite sure what to make of that but you remembered the time that you accidentally heard the boys talk about how Jeonghan was less than vanilla with most people he slept with and then you started feeling oh so excited for him to arrive.
Those 30 minutes went by so unbearably slow. You remember it as if it was yesterday. You spent those 30 minutes getting ready for him. You showered, used your strawberry lotion that he loved so much and put on the tiniest, filthiest lingerie piece you had on. You then started to overthink again. Just because he had called like that, it didn’t mean he would want you. Were you being presumptuous? ‘Better put a robe on, just in case I’m extremely wrong’ you thought and you went to your closet to find the baby blue silk robe you loved so much.
He rang your doorbell right on time which was very on brand for the Jeonghan you have known for so long. You were a bit shaky walking to the door but you kept telling yourself ‘It’s just your friend, Jeonghan. Just your friend. Nothing to be shaking for. Your heart has no business beating this hard and fast for him’.
You opened the door and he immediately walked past you into your living room. He started taking off his jacket and shoes. 
“What are you standing there for? Go to the bedroom, take your clothes off and wait for me on the bed” he stated while staring you up and down and realizing you had a much too short robe on you.
“Excuse me?” you defied him. Of course you did. You had always done that as his friend and that was not about to change just because you two had found yourselves in that position at that moment in time.
“Talk back to me again and I’ll leave right now and find myself someone with less of a fucking smart mouth” he said while he looked feral and very ready to be true to his previous words.
You had not answered him. Instead, you went to the bedroom, took off your robe and waited for him on the bed as he had told you. While there, you heard him moving around in the bathroom and started to realize you were probably in for a wild ride that evening.
He walked into the bedroom and when he first looked at you, he stopped and just stared. He was breathing heavily and licking his lips.
“For someone who likes to talk back to me so much, you sure were ready to be fucked tonight weren’t you, love?” he said and you gulped.
“Better safe than sorry. I like being prepared”
“Hmm… Good girl” he responded and you almost melted into your mattress right then and there. 
“Are you going to do something or just stare at me all night, Hannie?”
“Let me be clear since you don’t seem to know your place. I make the rules here, not you. I move when I want to. I do what I want to. And you will be a good girl and take everything I give you, when I give you. Do you understand?” he asked and you audibly scoffed at him.
He squinted his eyes at you and cracked his neck. You got scared he was going to walk out and in that moment you deeply hated your mouth for always being so fucking honest.
“One more scoff or mouthy comeback and I’m walking out of here. That’s a fucking promise. Now, are you going to be a good girl and know your place from now on or do I need to leave and end this fucking deal?” 
“Stay. I’ll be good…” you answered in a barely audible voice.
“You’ll have to speak louder, love. Don’t be embarrassed. It’s just me. Your Hannie, yeah? You trust me, right?”
“Of course I do. This is just… Very new. Maybe… Be a bit patient with me if I screw up, yeah?” you asked him in what you considered to be your most innocent look.
“You’re right. I’m sorry. I’ll be more patient. Just had a very shitty day” he said while he walked closer to you.
“Let me make it better, Hannie” you said while you started to unbuckle his belt and undo his zipper. He looked down at you and held your face with both hands.
“You look so fucking gorgeous in that tiny fucking thing, love. You know that, hmm?” he said while he held your face.
“Thank you, Hannie…” you answered shyly while you continued to take his pants and underwear off.
Once his bottom half was fully displayed to you, you started to stroke his cock while you both stared at each other. It started to leak with pre-cum and you took advantage of that to stroke harder and faster.
“You gonna put this cock in your mouth or just stroke it like we’re teenagers hiding from our parents, baby?” he said breathily. And, for a split second your mind started to think about that pet name. Baby. He had never called any of his flings by that pet name. Well, at least not in front of you but you rationalized that behind closed doors he probably had done it before. You were not different nor special.
You chose not to answer him. You just pushed him a bit away from you, you moved from the bed to the floor, on your knees and dove in.
You had never really enjoyed sucking dick. It had always been something you do for your partner but it never had any effect on you. Until this man, that is. At that moment, you were desperate. You wanted to suck the life out of him through his dick. You were going to make sure he would never forget the kind of head you gave him. 
You were sloppy and loud. Spit was running down your chin and you had started easing up into fitting his whole cock in your mouth (and throat). It had been a long while since you had had a cock this big and since you deep throated. When you had finally managed to fully swallow all of him, he pulled you back with a groan. He was panting hard when he pulled you up to your feet by one of your hands and by your hair.
“You’re so greedy. You need to be taught some manners” he said as he backed you up until you reached your bed.
He took off the last pieces of clothing he had on and pushed you down on the bed. You moved up on the bed with him as he started to settle between your legs.
“Look at you. So fucking sloppy…” he said while he spread the remaining spit on your chin all over your face.
“Hmm… Just the way I like it though…” he continued praising you.
He started touching you. Started by slowly running his hand from your neck down to your hip bone while he stared at you. This had been very different from the first time you two had been together. The first time had been rushed. No suspense, mostly no foreplay. Straight to the point. This time, it seemed he was wanting to take his time and was in no mood to rush anything.
Fuck, you wanted to kiss him. Bad. You had to keep reminding yourself ‘No kissing. Don’t kiss him. Don’t lean in. Don’t you dare ruin this’. You decided to start touching him, to try and prevent your urges from coming through and breaking one of his rules.
You started to run your fingers through his hair and use your nails on his scalp, just the way he had always loved it. You then moved your other hand down his chest and lightly scratched his chest in the process. He hissed and slapped your thigh.
“No scratching and no marks, baby” he said while he started to kiss down your neck.
“Are those new rules, Hannie?” you asked as you started to get more and more breathless. 
“In a sense, yes. They apply for me but not for you. No marking me but I can mark you however I see fit. Understood?” 
“Unfair…” you stated as you began to pout at him.
“No pouting. These are my rules. Not too late to back out, love” he said while then moving his hand to your back to undo your bra. 
All you could do was moan. Something flashed in your mind ‘Not too late to back out’. You quickly put that idea out of your mind. You didn’t want to back out. You had wanted this and you were going to continue with this deal.
That was the third real sign. Just a quick flash. A brief warning from your heart most likely. But again, you ignored it.
“I need an answer, love. Is this too much for you?” he asked and stopped moving to look into your eyes while he waited for your answer.
“No, it’s fine. Just… I might forget them in the heat of the moment, so I’ll need your help enforcing the rules” you answered and he laughed, almost mocking you.
“Don’t worry, love. I definitely won’t forget them. I’ll stop you if it gets to that” he said and then continued to take off your bra. 
With the bra out of the way, he started to kiss and leave hickies all over your chest. Wherever his mouth wasn’t, his hands were. You felt so surrounded, so engulfed. You were getting louder by the second and you knew he was enjoying it. He kept humming when you got particularly loud and continued to abuse that specific spot until a full mark had begun to form. 
Once he was satisfied with his work, he leaned back on his heels between your legs and stared at you while running his hands through your legs. 
“You look even better with my marks all over you, baby” he said and he noticed you started to get a bit red and shy and refused to look him in the eye. He tapped your thigh twice and you looked at him (finally). He then smiled at you, leaned over and completely cupped your pussy with his hand. You started to pant almost instantly.
“Shit, baby. You’re already so fucking wet. You were trying to give me shit on marking you but look at this fucking mess you’re making” he said as he started to run his fingers through the wet patch in your (now) soaked panties.
“Hannie…” you moaned as he kept stroking you ever so lightly.
“Hmm… You sound so pretty, baby” he whispered in your ear.
He then began to slide your panties off. He was being so slow, so meticulous. You didn’t know how much longer you could wait for him to touch you. You also knew that if you had started to protest, he would have probably given you an even more difficult time. 
He finally leaned in. Head between your legs, he began to blow air on your now swollen and begging to be touched clit while he held your pussy lips open with one hand. You hummed and instinctively moved your hips close to his mouth. You immediately thought you had fucked up.
The look you had in your eyes must have shown that fear because next thing you know Jeonghan is laughing at you. 
“I’ll let that one slide since I feel generous at the moment” he said and before you could have thanked him, he dove in and latched his mouth to your pussy. He grabbed your thighs with both hands and started to eat you out desperately. If you thought you had been sloppy when sucking his dick, he was even sloppier while eating you out. He was making out with your pussy like his life depended on it. Your moans had started to get louder, especially anytime he sucked and rolled your clit on his tongue. 
He kept humming and moaning along with you until he finally decided to insert one finger into your pussy. He had not kept that finger alone for too long and decided to join a second finger into your wet pussy. With two fingers and with how wet you were, the noises echoing through your bedroom were indecent, filthy. And you began to get closer and closer to the edge and it was when he moved his other hand to your tit and began to grab and massage it that you were pushed over the edge with a cry and moan of his name.
He moved back up your body and started to kiss your cheeks and neck softly while you were coming down from your high. 
“You were so fucking good for me, baby. So good… Let me know when you’re ready” he said while you tried to calm your breathing down.
“Fuck… I’m ready… Please, Hannie… Don’t make me wait anymore…” you moaned in desperation.
He started to move his cock up and down your folds and as he was about to get inside of you, you stopped him.
“Condom? Tell me you brought one, please” you said while you looked in his eyes.
“I thought since we started this deal, we wouldn’t need it anymore. I know you’re on birth control”
“I mean… As long as you’re not fucking anyone else while you’re fucking me… I guess we can. But if you plan to have more fuck-buddies or one-night stands or whatever you want to call them, then no. We will need a condom” you said very seriously. You wanted him to understand that it was your turn to set up at least this one rule for yourself.
He looked at you with a strange expression. Almost disappointed that you even thought about him fucking other people when just two weeks before, he had proposed this deal to you.
“Of course I’m not fucking anyone else. You know I don’t have multiple fuck-buddies at the same time. Definitely not now, when I have this deal with you, love” he said and he inched closer to your face. You held your breath. ‘Is he gonna kiss me?’ you asked yourself. He rubbed his nose in yours and asked:
“So… Condom? No condom? Your call, love” and he continued rubbing his cock in your folds.
“No condom. Just get inside me. Now”
“Bossy” he smirked and finally (finally) got inside you. You both sighed and cursed under your breath when he bottomed out which made you both giggle.
He licked his lips, leaned back and placed both your legs on his shoulders. Then, he started with long strokes which quickly transformed into him pounding into you. He was fucking you hard. And with this position, he was kept at a distance from your lips which made you think about how fucking brilliant the man between your legs truly was. 
The sound of skin slapping, of how wet your pussy was, was driving you both insane. You could tell he was quickly losing his composure and so were you. You were still sensitive and you were already beginning to feel that familiar burning inside of you. Fuck, you were close. Very close.
He leaned in, bent you like a pretzel and whispered so so close to your lips:
“I got you. Cum, baby. Let go. I’m right here”
With his hand around your thigh and thumb on your clit rubbing furiously, you came with a loud scream of his name.
“Hannie… Hannie… Sensitive…” you said still panting.
“I know, baby. I’m right there… Fuck… Where? Tell me where”
You knew exactly what he was asking and your answer may not have been the smartest in that moment, but honestly, you didn’t give a fuck about being smart, not while he was between your legs looking at you like that.
“Inside, please. Please, Hannie. I need it”
And then, it was his turn to spill ropes of cum into you. ‘Begging. Of course. Predictable but expected’ you had thought about what triggered him to finally let go. 
Jeonghan laid on you, trying to keep most of his weight off of you while still recovering from his high. 
It was like everything hit you at once. You went there again. You two really crossed that line again and from the looks of it, it would continue happening after that moment. You… Didn’t know exactly what you were feeling. Looking back now… Maybe you knew exactly what you were feeling and that’s why you were so scared in that moment after everything that had transpired between you that night.
He got up, went to the bathroom and came back to clean you. He didn’t say a word and neither did you. He laid back down and pulled you close. You remembered thinking ‘This is not how fuck-buddies are supposed to act’. And you asked him:
“Do you cuddle all your fuck-buddies or should I consider myself lucky?”
“You should consider yourself special, love” he said right before falling asleep and you had felt it then. The fourth sign. You made a terrible mistake that night. You believed him.
The next morning he had left and said he would call you or text you or ‘whatever the fuck’. Ever the poet. And this is how this journey that you are now contemplating while sitting on your couch waiting for his text started.
After that second time, you two had met up regularly, sometimes multiple times a week. You always stayed at each other's place overnight and had always continued moving forward in your life. 
Your friendship was still the same, nothing major had changed and it was going great. But you kept waiting for that other shoe to drop. You knew sooner or later that it would because after the last time you were together, you remembered thinking that you didn’t want him to leave that morning. That maybe, instead of meeting up in your bed next time, you could meet up at the restaurant you’ve always wanted to go down the street from his house that he never took you to because ‘That is way too romantic for us, love’. 
That last time you were together, the one that made you think all of this… It was strange. You had felt at the time, something had shifted for him too because while he was fucking you on his kitchen counter, he leaned in so close… You could almost taste him… And then he moved away and flipped you over so that you were now bent over the counter and as far away from his lips as possible. Jeonghan had wanted to kiss you then, you were sure of it. You didn’t know what to feel. Happy because he had wanted to? Or devastated at the fact he still didn’t kiss you?
Fifth sign. You were devastated. You considered stopping everything. Just putting an end to your arrangement. You already knew you were fucked for him and you were also painfully aware that he did not feel the same way.
You didn’t text or call him. He, in turn, texted and called you multiple times. You had claimed you were on a business trip and out of the country. You were just hiding at home. Too much of a coward to break it off and too hurt to see him.
Of course this didn’t last long. Jeonghan knew you better than anyone and he knew when you were lying and avoiding something. Even though he knew, he had left you alone for that week. He probably had figured you needed time to deal with whatever was holding you back. But after that week, he showed up at your door. You didn’t make a sound, wondering if he would just leave if you did not answer any of the rings or knocks.
“I know you’re in there, Y/N. I gave you a week of lying and hiding. No more. Let me in, please, love”
Nothing. You didn’t want to see him. ‘Why is he like this?’ you had asked yourself. But you knew if the roles were reversed, you would be doing the exact same thing at his door and would not be leaving until he opened it so you knew the only way out of this was through it.
You opened the door, turned and started walking to your couch. You started playing whatever you were watching before he showed up and pretended to be paying attention to it. ‘Shit’ you thought. You knew he saw right through you.
“Are you really going to do this? You think I don’t know you enough to know what you’re pulling?” he asked, sitting on the couch with you and staring at you.
“I’m fine, Hannie. Just wanted to be alone for a while. Simple” you told him. You hated playing this card on him but he knew that once in a while you got a bit down about your family and the struggles with those relationships and you always used to tell him ‘Sometimes all I need is some alone time and I figure it out’. 
“You could’ve told me instead of lying though. You know I hate lies. You promised a long time ago, no lies between us, remember?”
You stared at him.
“I’m sorry, Hannie. Didn’t want to burden you, that’s all”
He had looked at you almost as if trying to figure out what you were thinking. Trying to understand why you had lied and kept lying. He must have decided then, it wasn’t worth asking anymore and he just put his arm around you, looked at the TV and asked:
“What are we watching, then?”
You had indeed started to watch the show with him but that quickly turned into something else. And again, this time was even stranger than the last. 
He had been so gentle with you, always whispering sweet nothings. Things you thought should only be whispered to a significant other, not a friend, not a fuck-buddy. No. This felt very different. 
That night, it felt like he made love to you. He laid you back on the couch after stripping both of you naked. He took his time eating you out like you were his last meal and only after you came 3 times from his mouth alone did he start fucking you. Or at the time, you thought he was going to fuck you but he surprised you. He held both your hands and kept them intertwined while he slowly thrusted into you. You lost track of time. It felt surreal, it felt like you were dreaming.
In the middle of all the moaning and panting and whispering, he did something that you never expected. He… Kissed you. It wasn’t soft or gentle. It was a passionate kiss, tongues intertwined, moaning like he needed this like he needed air to breathe. Such a contrast from how he was thrusting into you. And you let him. You kissed him back and you remember thinking ‘A kiss between friends shouldn’t feel this way’. 
Your heart was pounding and you wanted to feel his but he had kept your hands above your head intertwined with his and would not let go.
That night, after you both came and he cleaned you up. He didn’t say a word, just like during your second time. Except this time, he did not stay the night.
He got dressed and walked out. Without even a spare glance at you. You knew then. The sixth and final sign before you had decided, it was time to come clean and end this.
And that’s precisely what you were trying to do when you started texting him. However, as usual he had other plans and that’s why texting turned into sexting which turned into you reliving everything that has happened in the last couple of months between you.
This realization snaps you back into reality and you abruptly delete the very graphic text you were about to send and send another one instead.
“Come over whenever you can. I need to talk to you about something” you sent.
“What a way to kill a boner, Y/N. Let’s keep having fun now, I’ll come over when this meeting ends” and you wondered why you even thought his response was going to be any different.
“I’m serious, Jeonghan. No more games for today. Come over when you can and we’ll talk then” you sent and put your phone on silent. You didn’t want a back and forth, you needed him to know you were serious.
You were sure he knew though. Very rarely did you call him Jeonghan. It was always ‘angel’ or ‘Hannie’. Never Jeonghan.
You knew what was going to happen once he was there. Your heart was about to be broken by your favorite person in the world. You wanted to have hope, but you knew better than that. You knew him better than that. You were never special. The only difference between you and the usual girls he found, was that you had been best friends before. That was it. Nothing else to it.
After thinking about how you were going to tell him the truth. You decided to be as blunt as possible. He always loved that about you. When you were completely honest with him about everything. Even if the shit you said sometimes hurt to hear.
He got to your apartment almost an hour after that text. That was fairly quickly during his work day so he must have known you meant what you texted.
“So… Should I sit down for this, love? You’re not dying are you?” he joked. 
However, when he saw the look in your eyes he knew. This was not a joking matter and this moment wasn’t about him. It was about you.
“I love you, Jeonghan”
He stared at you.
“And no, I don’t mean in a ‘best friends’ type of way. I’m in love with you. If I’m being honest with both of us, I always have been. From the day I met you. But I knew.. I was never your type. Not then… Definitely not now. So I settled. I became your best friend. I realized I wanted to stay by your side even if you never saw me the way I wanted you too. It was… well… Stupid of me. Of course I only realized this once you started dating someone. It was painful but I pushed it down. If I’ve learned anything about my shitty childhood and most of my shitty life is to compartmentalize things. So, I put the box with all my feelings for you deep inside of my soul and pushed it down anytime I thought that dam would break. Until now. You were right. Clichés are clichés for a reason. Except in this case, I was already in love with you. I just hoped you would fall too.”
You knew it was a lot to process but now that you opened this dam, you couldn’t close it anymore. You were sobbing now looking at him and you couldn’t tell what he was thinking at all. No emotion was showing in his face. He too knew all too well to compartmentalize and he had a much better poker face than yours.
“Don’t worry though. I have no illusions that you feel the same way. I know you don’t. You made that perfectly clear after we fucked the first time. ‘Kissing is reserved for people I want a serious relationship with and see myself being with in the long run’. That really fucking hurt. The person I loved most in the world telling me I’m simply not good enough for them. I’m good enough to fuck though, apparently” you chuckled darkly.
“I know you kept saying that no matter what, you still wanted me in your life. What you forgot to wonder was if at the end of this deal, I would still want you in my life. I do. But not as a friend. Not as a fuck-buddy. I want all of it. And…I know you can’t give that to me. Even if you kissed me last time. I know you didn’t mean it like that. That’s why you left, right? Because you thought I was going to get sentimental about it. Well… I did. Cried myself to sleep in fact. You may have broken that rule first but I broke the most important rule long before we started this.” you kept going and now… Now he was also holding back tears, realizing this is not just the end of the deal. It’s the end of you two.
“I don’t blame you for any of it. In fact, you gave me plenty of options to back out. But I was greedy. I wanted to know what it was like. To be with you. Even if it was pretend, even if none of it was ever real. I wanted to feel it. What the ones good enough for you felt before me and what others will in the future. I needed to know. Even if now I am hurting and will keep hurting for a long time… Maybe for the rest of my life.” 
You were done. Now, the worst part came. You were about to give him an out and you knew he was going to take it but you had to know. You had to be sure.
“I know this is a lot to take in and I know you probably feel blindsided and overwhelmed. But I also know your answer. I just needed you to hear my side. Now that you have, it’s time to make your choice. Stay here and talk to me about this, which means giving us a chance. Or leave, without saying a word. Without looking back, like you did the last time we saw each other. And I’ll know for sure.”
He started to move.
“Before you make your decision though, know that whatever decision you make is final. There will be no regrets. No reconnecting in a few years when you think enough time has passed. If you walk out. We are done. Our paths will never converge or cross again. I love you Jeonghan. But I have to love myself more.”
He nodded. Audibly gulped. And then did what you were already expecting from him.
He left.
He left you.
Just as abruptly as it started, it had now ended. 
Not just the deal, no.
Everything.
You knew. You knew this would be his choice but why did it still fucking hurt this much.
There will never be another Jeonghan in your life. He was everything to you, even now. While you are crying and tearing pictures apart. You know.
Life as you know it was done. You will have to carry on with a broken heart that will never be healed.
But you are proud of yourself. You spent so much of your life choosing others over yourself and today, you chose yourself.
Eventually, the broken heart won’t be as loud. Time will help. You will still hurt, always for him but you will be better. You will be yourself again just with a few more scars.
As for Jeonghan… He also knew.
He knew there will never be another you.
He knew that night when he left. He doesn’t kiss anyone accidentally. No, he learned that the hard way a long time ago. He had wanted to kiss you. And not just that night. All the other times before then too.
He told himself it was the sex. It was just too good. It was clouding his judgment.
He didn’t have feelings for you, not at all. It just wasn’t possible. Not after all these years. Right? Or did he.. Always feel this way? Was that why he acted the way he did and jumped at the first opportunity to have you in his bed? 
He knew. Finally.
He also knows now you will never forgive him. The pinky promise had finally been broken.
He will have to settle. All his worries about the future. About dating only the right people. People worthy of him. Everything makes sense now.
Most people were not worthy of him only after he met you. You showed him what love was from the start and no one could measure up.
It’s too late now.
And besides, he’s the one that was never worthy of you. Never once. And he never will be.
Please let me know if you’d like a part 2 of this. I am a happy endings fan so I might be down to write it if you guys want it too so please reach out and let me know! And let me know if you liked it please CHEERS 🥂
PS: You can find part 2 here
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steddieas-shegoes · 2 months
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It’s been done in every which way but Eddie being in an accident of some kind that leaves him paralyzed, but his doctors believe he could walk again with intense physical therapy
He’s stubborn and absolutely hasn’t dealt with any of the trauma of the accident and takes it out on his physical therapist, Steve, who is used to patients being pretty angry about their situation
He always meets Eddie where he is though, tries to keep a smile on his face and joke when appropriate and even shares his cookies from his lunchbox with him
Eventually, Eddie starts making some progress, but instead of being happy about it, he panics and cancels all his PT appointments for the week
Steve tries calling, texting, emailing, doing everything he can to encourage him to keep going, but it all goes unanswered until Gareth, one of Eddie’s closest friends, calls him on Eddie’s phone
He’s depressed and he won’t get out of bed, he’s given up. He’s tired of being in pain and having to try to so hard just to move his damn legs a little
Steve isn’t usually this personal with clients, and tells Gareth he can’t discuss anything medical with him due to patient confidentiality, but insists he should try to drag him to the office the next day before it opens
And somehow, probably through guilt, Gareth manages to wheel a very sullen and grumpy Eddie into the side door entrance to the office at seven in the morning
Steve tells him to come back in an hour to pick him up and Eddie ignores the goodbye Gareth says to him
And Steve pretends nothing is wrong at all, goes through the usual temperature and blood pressure check, asks how he’s feeling and gets a grunt in response, asks if there’s any pain and gets an eye roll
But Eddie met his match in Steve because Steve then pushes him to the center of the workout room, where a large mat is out and a walker is set to the side
“What’s that?”
“Your walker.”
“I don’t need one seeing as I can’t fucking walk.”
“You are today.”
And Steve knows he’s pushing and he hates being pushy
But he knows what his clients are capable of, and he knows without a single doubt in his mind that Eddie is ready to use the walker for five to ten minute increments. He has the leg strength and the stubbornness, he just needs the belief in himself
“Do you want me to hurt myself worse?”
“Of course not. And if you get tired, the seat on the walker is right there. But you can walk and you will walk.”
“And if I call Gareth to come get me right now?”
“Then I don’t believe my services are of value to you anymore and I’ll wish you the best.”
It pained Steve to say it because he knew he was fucking good at what he did, maybe the best in town. His clients often had to wait for his availability to open for weeks or months at a time because of how many people were referred to him
But he said the right thing because Eddie huffed, groaned, and cursed under his breath before wheeling himself to the edge of the mat to hold onto the walker
He pulled himself up
His legs were shaking from not being used for the last few days more than the bare minimum, but his determination was clear
Steve slowly pulled the chair away as Eddie unlocked the brakes of the walker and glared at Steve as he took one step, then two
Sure, he was relying pretty heavily on the walker, maybe more than Steve would’ve liked to see, but he was moving
He made it across the mat and then locked the brakes, sat down on the pad on the walker, and gave a sarcastic grin to Steve
“Happy?”
“Are you?”
And maybe Eddie wasn’t ready to be asked that because he was suddenly sobbing, covering his face as tears flowed down his cheeks
Steve gave him a few seconds before moving to kneel in front of him, pulling his hands away
“You deserve to have your life back, Eddie. You’ve been lucky to have the chance to walk again. Let’s not waste it, okay?”
Eddie spent the rest of the session walking across the mat and taking breaks every two minutes or so
It was better than Steve even expected, but he reminded Eddie not to do too much at once
Eddie didn’t miss any more appointments with Steve, and every appointment, he seemed to be more charming and flirty, more like “the old Eddie” according to Gareth, who drove him most days
Steve never admitted it out loud, but he knew what he felt for Eddie was different from other clients. It felt more personal, and it felt like it could be more someday
When Eddie graduated to a cane, Steve’s services were officially no longer needed
And Eddie decided that he should probably take Steve out on a date
“Since I can walk and hold your hand now,” he winked.
Steve should say no, but he doesn’t
Because holding Eddie’s hand feels even more right as his boyfriend than it did as his physical therapist
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rafesslxt · 30 days
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neglected | mattheo riddle
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summary: Theodore completly ignores you and doesnt take it serious that you miss him while he flirts with another girl at a party.. so his best friend has to help you filling up that hole inside your … chest.
warning: cheating? but is it if he does it first?, mattheo eating out the reader, fingering, nipple play, teasing, dirty talk, getting caught, he‘s a munch don‘t fight with me over this -
note: i do not support cheating, this is just for the story
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— monday —
I don‘t know how many times I already begged but from time to time.. i felt more and more neglected.
"Theo, please just this one weekend! You had been busy with your friends and studying the last 3 weeks!" Yeah, 3 weeks since my boyfriend went on a date with me, had some quality time or touched me.
"Y/n I told you I don‘t have time. I already promised the boys I‘d come to the party. We‘ll see us there, I have to go study now, with Lydia." Before I could even say a word he left his dorm. I hear a chuckle coming from the other side of the room, making me turn my head in it’s direction.
"Told you you deserve better baby." Mattheo, Theodore‘s best friend said, sitting on his bed. They share a dorm and every now and then he would see Theo and me arguing.
I huff and leave the room, a aching feeling in my body.
— the next day —
"Theo please, I need you. You didn‘t touch me once the last few weeks." I whine into his ear, sitting next to him. He just groans, but not the way I want him to and gets up with his book in his hands. "Don‘t you see that you‘re distracting me?" Irritated he leaves the room, probably walking off to the library again.
Ugh.. i let myself fall back down onto the mattress and cross my arms over my face. Is it my fault? Did my body change somehow? Why the hell won‘t he touch me? But before I could continue my thoughts, I hear the door again, my head shooting up, hoping it is Theo who changed his mind but no, it‘s Mattheo. I groan frustrated and let my head fall back.
"Wow nice to see you too baby, but I think you‘re laying on the wrong bed." he says, teasing me.
"Sometimes I think like that too." I mumble into my arms and more to myself.
"What was that?" he asks. "Nothing."
— two days later —
Patiently I wait on Theo‘s bed, dressed all up.. or down, in his favorite lingerie set and a pair of black knee socks. When we got together half a year ago he told me he loved them on me, made my legs look even longer.
As the door opens my heart starts beating faster and I look up, shrieking and pulling the blanket over my body as I see who it is. "Damn mami is that for me?" Mattheo asks as he stand in front of Theo‘s bed with a smirk on his face, his mouth wide open.
"What the fuck are you doing here?" I asked furious, not wanting him to see me like that. What If Theo comes in and would see us, what would he think?
"Last time I checked this is my room, sweetcheeks." "But you‘re supposed to have quidditch practice!" I whine and look for my clothes.
He chuckles and steps a bit closer as I stand up from the bed. "Could you turn around? I wanna get dressed." "No." "You are such a pain in the ass!" I roll my eyes at him and take my wand, mumbling "Colloportus“. and holding it towards the door so no one can come inside.
I let go of the blanket, thinking fuck it, and grab my skirt, pulling it over my legs and then my hips. "Did your cute little boyfriend leave you unsatisfied again?" he grins and takes a step closer. "You know.. I could help you with that." he says in a suggestive tone. "He’s your best friend Mattheo, stop this shit." "I can’t princess. Hurts me to see that pretty little body of yours, knowing how desperate it must be after all these weeks." he whispers the last part as he lets his fingers slowly brush over my arm, sending shivers down my spine. "See? It’s so hot for just a little attention." "No, it is cold, thats why." I say, swallowing down the clump in my throat as i nod towards the opened window.
Just as I wanted to reach down for my top, I see Mattheo getting down on his knees in front of me. He looks up and licks his lips. Damn.. something about a men on his knees for me made me feel slme type of way.
"Please let me touch your legs, please. Need to know how soft these pretty thighs feel." I could feel his warm breath against my skin, again, sending shivers down my… spine. wet pussy
"Mattheo get the fuck up I swear to god!" i hiss at him. Yes I closed the door with a spell but it wasn‘t really hard for everyone above first years to open it with a spell.
"Please, I swear If you let me just touch it I‘m gonna leave you alone for the rest of the week!" he pleads, looking at my face and then my legs. I sigh as I think about letting him. Damn was I really thinking about it? Am I really going to let my boyfriends best friend touch my thighs?
But I mean.. nothing’s wrong If I don‘t feel anything for it, right? Plus he would just leave me alone for a bit. "Fine." I press out.
As soon as the words leave my mouth, I feel his big warm hands on my thighs. "Shit.." he mumbles as he lets them wander up and down my legs. He slighty squeezes them, making me sigh in relief.
I feel his curls against my skin before I can look down and see him kissing my flesh, grabbing it with a bit more strengh now. I had to bite my bottom lip as he starts massaging them. Completly lost in thoughts, I realize too late what he was doing.
Suddenly he stands up and kisses my cheek "Thank you, doll.", before leaving the dorm and leaving me breathless in the middle of the room. As I slowly come back from the dizzy feeling inside my head I again, stretch over to get my top but gasp with shaky breathing as I see what Mattheo left on my skin.
A hickey. And a bite mark. I didn‘t even notice him biting my leg. Shit.
— Saturday —
To say i was pissed, while sitting on a chair in some corner of the common room, was a big understatement. Theodore and I arrived at the party he talked about a few days ago.. 2hours ago. I saw him drinking with his friends and playing truth or dare in a little group, always walking away from me as soon as I approached him. So I decided to stop chasing him.
"What are you doing here all alone sweetcheeks?" I look to my right and see Mattheo. Of course it was him. "Leave me alone." I say, rolling my eyes and looking back to my boyfriend, sitting beside this girl named Lydia. She was a year under us I think.
Mattheo followed my gaze and shakes his head. "Well , the deal was I would leave you alone till end of the week. The week is over." I don‘t even answer him, not in the mood to argue.
"Yeah thanks for the hickey and the mark between." i say sarcastically. "Yeah it‘s not like your boyfriend would see, right?"
I roll my eyes again and look back at Theodore, to see him standing up. What was he going to do? Suddenly I see him taking Lydia‘s hand, pulling her up with him and kissing her. In shock I opened my mouth, but instead of crying like i normally would, my face got red in anger.
I tried everything and here he stands sucking of the face of that stupid thot. In the middle of the common room? With the girl he "studys" all the time? I bet that’s not the first time they kiss. Mattheo seems to see it too and looks at me more serious now. "Hey.. are you okay? I mean he‘s not worth it If you - " but before he can continue I grab him at the collor of his shirt and drag him with me to his dorm.
— 30 minutes later —
"Oh fuck yes, Mattheo!" I moan into the air, pushing his head against me while his lips suck on my clit, his fingers pumping inside me. "Shit who would have known that you go this feral for my tounge huh?" he smiles and mumbles against my skin.
"Stop talking and continue!" I whine and push his head back. I hear him chuckle before he laps at my throbbing clit again. God If I would have known how good this feels I would have had ended things with Theo way sooner.
His free hand slides across my body up to my left boob where he started to tease my nipple. I gasp and push my hips up, arching my back. My body was so sensitive I wanted to cry out of pleasure everytime he touched me somewhere.
It didn‘t took me long before my body starts trembling and shaking, Mattheo licking everything up as I come on his tounge.
"I could get drunk on your pussy." he groans before kissing me, making me taste myself on his lips.
"I hope you‘re ready cause that pussy screams for me." he whispers against my lips before going down on me again.
A few minutes in I hear someone yell. "WHAT THE FUCK?"
My head shot up and I looked to the door where Theo stood, looking ag us with an angry face.
I saw Mattheo looking at him over his shoulder, smiling at him with glistening lips. "Hey men, hope you don‘t mind? We got the impression you were busy.. never mind – bro how could you not eat that pussy like.. all day?"
"I‘m gonna kill you, Riddle!"
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shorter than usual but I liked it 🌼
thanks for reading and supporting 🫶🏻
xoxo sarah <3
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littlespoonevan · 20 days
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i'll keep it all to myself
7x04 coda (she's back, baby xoxo)
-
“Hey, killer.”
Buck winces, mouth already tripping over an apology as he moves into the Diaz living room. “Eddie, I’m so sorry-“
“Buck, I’m kidding,” Eddie interrupts, exasperated and just a little fond. He hasn’t been on the receiving end of that tone in a few days. It’s embarrassing to say he missed it. “Sit down.”
Buck takes the armchair instead of sitting on the couch next to Eddie. He’s not sure why. He never sits in the armchair. Sitting in it now he almost feels…off balance. But then catching sight of Eddie’s foot propped up on the coffee table sobers him immediately and he forgets all about the strange discomfort in his stomach.
Reaching for the cushion behind him, he gets up again. “You should have something under that,” he says, gently lifting Eddie’s leg to place the cushion on the table. He lowers it again carefully, nodding in satisfaction when Eddie’s foot is nestled safely in the cushion. “The table is too hard.”
“Oh sorry, I thought I was the one with real medical training,” Eddie quips but there’s no bite behind the words.
“Yeah but I’m the one with crush injury experience,” Buck says, kicking his own legs up on the table in proof.
Eddie opens his mouth as if to argue back but then closes it again, rolling his eyes, but his lips twitch a bit. Just at the corners.
“Eddie, I really am sorry,” he says, straightening in his seat and forcing himself to meet Eddie’s gaze properly. “I don’t know what I was thinking. I just got so-“
“I know,” Eddie replies, quiet and careful and devoid of any of his earlier teasing. “But you know you can talk to me, right? Like, it’s me Buck. You can just tell me when something’s wrong.”
Buck does know that. He knows he can tell Eddie everything. Anything. The bad and the good.
Which means he should be able to clear this up right away, right? He should just be able to say, ‘Hey, I was apparently working through some latent feelings I never knew I had. And I took that out on you. But guess what! I like Tommy and he likes me back and we have a date Saturday!’
But thinking about telling Eddie that Tommy kissed him makes his chest constrict in a way that he doesn’t expect. So he tucks it up in a neat little box in the corner of his mind for now and focuses on making sure Eddie’s okay. Because he can do that. He knows how to do that.
“I’m an idiot,” he says. “And if you want I will totally give you one free punch so we’re even.”
Eddie huffs a quiet laugh. “I could never hit you.”
“Should I go get Christopher’s Legos instead and step on them with my shoes off?”
Eddie lets out a real laugh then, the kind that makes his eyes close and his head fall back against the couch cushion, and Buck feels so much affection for him well up inside him he’s almost breathless with it.
“You’re an idiot,” Eddie tells him. “And a martyr. Seriously, Buck, I don’t care. I just want to make sure you and I are okay.”
“Of course we are,” Buck says, without actually stopping to interrogate if that’s true or not.
They are, he thinks. The fact that something absolutely life altering happened to him an hour ago and he somehow can’t make himself tell Eddie about it is…inconsequential.
He’s just hedging his bets. Not trying to get ahead of himself before he has yet another failed romance.
“In that case, can you go to the fridge and get us some beers?” Eddie asks, pulling Buck back to reality.
“You shouldn’t be drinking,” Buck says, even as he stands. Maybe they can split a beer. Half a bottle shouldn’t hurt. “Tommy says you’re on pain meds.”
“Oh, so you guys talked?”
Eddie says it unassumingly and when Buck freezes at the dining table and looks over his shoulder he finds that Eddie isn’t even looking at him. He’s leaning forward on the couch, adjusting his leg, but when Buck takes too long to answer he raises his head and gives him an expectant look.
“Yeah,” Buck murmurs, the phantom rasp of Tommy’s stubble against his mouth still tingling and making him want to reach up and touch his lips. That would give too much away though. “We talked.”
Eddie smiles, nodding his approval. “Good. Maybe all three of us can actually hang out together now.”
The thought immediately makes Buck’s stomach swoop with something unnameable but he doesn’t let it show on his face.
“Sure,” he breathes. “Sounds great.”
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7s3ven · 3 months
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NOBODY’S SON, NOBODY’S DAUGHTER. luke (pjo) pt. 2
PART 1 > PART 2 > PART 3 > PART 4 (last pt)
( masterlist )
IN WHICH… Y/N is finally claimed by her father, who turns out to be Zeus. Now, she’s stuck in an empty cabin as the only forbidden child of Zeus. Luke, on the other hand, is thrilled to be playing her knight in shining armour and getting her through each lonely day.
“I’m in the wind, you’re in the water. Nobody’s son, nobody’s daughter.”
( follows the show - kind of just a oneshot bc i’m bored )
Warnings : a little bit of jealousy, arguing, Y/N being indecisive and confused (real), not proof-read
TAG LIST : @hottiewifeyyyy @kamiliora @be-bap @finnickodaddy @th0tblckgrl @shoyofroyoyoyo @csifandom @uniquely-her @imafrkinsimp @syraxesrevenge @ahh-chickens @dracoslovergirl @midnightstar-90 @8812-342 @liv1104 @krkiiz @arialikestea @ch16rles @lizziesliz @maryclx01 @jennapancake @lukecastellandefender @yuminako @coryoskywalker @julielightwood @crybabysbakery @jsbaby @liviessun @p3pperm1nttea @angie-esc @purplerose291 @prettylilsimp @10ava01 @froggiesstalks @happy-jj @czennieszn @gisellesprettylies @loveyava @kkrenae
I really hope this part is good enough 🙏
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Being claimed was perhaps worse than staying in the Hermes cabin. The Zeus cabin was completely empty, much to Y/N’s dismay. Percy was unlucky enough to be a forbidden child too. Looks like neither of them would be having any half-siblings.
“I always knew she was destined for greatness.” Clarisse would say as if the life of a forbidden child wasn’t lonely and utterly isolated.
“Knock, knock.”
But there was one person who could light up the dim Zeus cabin.
“Hope you don’t mind that I brought strawberries. I picked ‘em myself. It was not easy work, let me tell you.” Luke chuckled as he walked in, shutting the door behind him. “Nice place.” He sarcastically said, staring at the cobwebs that littered the walls.
Y/N stared at him, unimpressed and unamused. “Being claimed was supposed to feel great. But I’m just back at square one again.” She huffed and took a strawberry Luke offered her. He sat beside Y/N, gesturing her to continue.
“You know, at least the Hermes cabin had another people. I’m stuck in this deserted cabin because my father finally decided that he wanted to see me! All I’m wondering is why it took so long. Why bother claiming me now?! Percy got claimed in under five days. I know people who have been claimed in one. Why did it take me ten years?! At least I know why I always attract trouble now. It’s because Zeus, that utter man whore, is my dad!”
Luke’s eyebrows silently raised at her words. “You’re welcome in the Hermes cabin any time, Y/N. Don’t forget that. I don’t think your dad was ignoring you… he was probably just waiting.”
“Yeah. Waiting until I finally proved myself to him. Because a child of Zeus should be a prodigy. No normal feat is allowed. It has to be impressive to gain his attention. How dumb.” Y/N scoffed.
“I was fine without him. I’ve gone my entire life never hearing from him and after ten years of being at camp, suddenly he wants to play daddy? He should’ve left me alone. But hey, at least you guys have more room in the Hermes cabin. I heard Chiron was going to move me.”
“What? But you’re practically part of the family. I mean, not exactly. It’d be weird if we were related because… you know… we’re friends and being such good friends with siblings seems weird.” Luke spoke so fast that Y/N couldn’t understand him.
She silently stared at him. “… You’re weird. Chiron just wanted to make more room for the newcomers. And, you know, I had been there for so long that I wasn’t considered new.”
“You okay, though? Your cuts aren’t still hurting? You don’t feel sick, right?” Luke carefully inspected her face and bruised arms, eyebrows furrowed in worry.
“Luke, I’m fine.” She reassured him, laughing. “Nothing hurts anymore.”
“Guess I’ve got to let you win the next game now.” He sighed. “I can’t believe you guessed Poseidon and got it right.”
“I took a wild guess. I wasn’t expecting it to be correct.”
Luke shrugged and stood up. “I need to go check up on some kids. A new group just arrived. Will you be alright by yourself? I can always go get Clarisse.”
Y/N stared up at him and a part of Luke wished she would ask him to stay. To stay in the stuffy cabin and just… talk.
“I think I need some alone time right now.” She softly smiled, resisting the urge to ask him not to walk out, to keep her company. “I just need to process all the shit that went down.”
Luke chuckled, ruffling her hair. “That’s my girl.” He began to walk away before he turned around last minute. “Hey, Y/N… thanks for staying by my side.”
“No problem. Thanks for being my friend, Luke.”
With a wounded heart and the embarrassment of being friend-zoned hanging high over his head, Luke walked out of the Zeus cabin.
Y/N didn’t see Luke again until a few days later. He was always so busy with the new kids but he still had time to leave a small box of strawberries on her porch.
It was dinner when Y/N could finally speak to Luke. She smiled at him and subtly waved and he grinned back. He had been talking with Chris about a boring topic but his eyes lit up when he saw Y/N. Luke stood up to sit with her before he was quickly intercepted.
“Luke.” One of the new girls said, staring up at him with her big doe eyes. She was claimed the moment she stepped into camp by Aphrodite. She seemed to already be her mother’s favourite. “Are you free to sit with me and my friends? We want to ask you a few questions.”
Luke was pulled away by the girl, leaving Y/N to watch him sheepishly grin. Y/N’s smile faltered. “I think he’s avoiding me.” She muttered to Percy, resting her cheek on the palm of her hand. She felt a twisted knot of jealousy well up as a girl giggled and grabbed Luke’s arm. And he let her.
The younger boy looked up in confusion. “Who? Luke? I don’t think so. Girls just seem to really like him.”
Y/N frowned but didn’t say anything else. She could only stare again as the girls around Luke laughed as he uttered something with a bashful smile.
“I’m turning in early.” Y/N said, standing up. She pushed her plate of dessert towards Percy, who slowly took it.
“You good?” He asked.
“Yeah. I’m not feeling well so I think I’m going to sleep early. Good night, Percy.” She deeply inhaled as she walked away, catching Luke’s attention.
“Excuse me, ladies. I’ll be back. I need to talk to someone.” He hurriedly got up, racing after Y/N. Percy, who was eating his second serving of cake, muffled a laugh. Luke was so whipped.
“Y/N.” The brunette boy finally caught up to her. He grabbed her arm, spinning her around. “Why are you leaving early? We haven’t talked for weeks so I thought we could use today to catch up.”
Y/N stared at him in confusion before she turned her head and quietly laughed. She covered her mouth to conceal the noise. “Luke… it’s only been three days.”
His face dropped and he cleared his throat. “I know… I was testing you. That’s all.” Yet his eyes looked at everything but Y/N. “So, how has your cabin been?”
“Lonely. It doesn’t feel the same without Chris ranting about Clarisse.” Y/N sighed, lightly biting the inside of her cheek.
“I’m not sure if I can rant about Clarisse like Chris but I could try keeping you company.” Luke offered, gazing at Y/N with eyes that begged her to agree.
She merely shrugged, not stopping Luke from strutting into her cabin and lying down on her bed. He outstretched his arms, confusing Y/N. “Hug.” Was all he said.
Y/N was never much of an affectionate person but Luke certainly was. His gestures ranged from secretly fiddling with her fingers to picking her up and swinging her around in the middle of the battle arena.
Begrudgingly, Y/N closed the distance between them. Luke grinned, pulling her closer. A few moments later, Y/N attempted to pull away. Luke prevented her from doing so. “Five more minutes.” He whispered in her ear.
But those promised five minutes turned into an hour.
And a peaceful hour turned into all night.
And all night turned into the sun rising and Clarisse waking the pair up.
“So this is where you’ve been hiding, Luke.” The Ares girl snickered, folding her arms over her chest. “Your siblings are wondering where you went. I assume by the lack of clothes on the floor that you two did nothing. How surprising for you, Luke.”
“Clarisse.” Y/N warned, sitting up.
“Okay, okay. I’m going. See you at breakfast, Y/N.” Clarisse sent her friend a teasing wink before she slithered off, laughing to herself.
“Sorry. I fell asleep.” Luke muttered, stretching. He not-so-subtly placed an arm around Y/N and when she didn’t shove him away, he smiled.
“It’s fine. I’ve already prepared myself for whatever gossip is about to spread around camp.” Y/N leaned back, shaking her head, while Luke chuckled.
“Nothing we haven’t dealt with before.” Luke retorted.
Camp Half-Blood seemed obsessed with the little thing going on between Y/N and Luke. Friendship, romance, confusing situationship. The campers called it many things.
“I’m so tired.” Y/N muttered, rubbing her tired eyes. Luke took that as his chance to gaze at her. His eyes traced over the bridge of her nose and the curve of her Cupid’s bow.
He smiled to himself, pressing his face deeper into the crook of Y/N’s neck.
“Luke. We need to get up.” As if suddenly uncomfortable with his close proximity, Y/N stood up.
“Oh. Yeah. I know how you can’t miss breakfast because you get cranky without it.” Luke chuckled while Y/N shoved him.
“Get out, Luke!” Y/N exclaimed, throwing a pillow at him. He bellowed out a laugh as he ran towards the exit.
“See you at breakfast, sweetheart!”
Y/N, with flushed cheeks and a racing mind, barged into the Ares cabin. “Clarisse.” She said, holding onto the doorframe for support. “I need your help.”
“What do you need?” Clarisse questioned as they walked side by side. Y/N sighed.
“Well, for starters, Luke is acting weird. I mean, he was always kind of weird but it’s gotten… more extreme. He’s getting so close and… calling me these pet names. What am I supposed to do? And why does it make me feel shy? Clarisse, help me!”
Y/N gripped her friend’s shoulders tightly. Clarisse lightly snorted. “Y/N, he’s just in love. Let the boy be.”
“In… love? W-With… me? In love with me?!” Y/N’s mind was spinning by now and it looked like this was her mid-life crisis. “He’s not… he can’t be… no… no… No! I have to go, Clarisse!”
Clarisse watched as Y/N sprinted off with the speed of a lightning bolt. “Haha. It’s so fun messing with them.”
“Hey, Clarisse. What’d you say to Y/N?” Luke immediately filled in Y/N’s spot. He furrowed his eyebrows, glancing at Y/N.
“I just told her how in love you are with her.” Clarisse winked and laughed at Luke’s appalled face.
“You… did what?” He questioned, panicking. “Why… why would you do that?! Clarisse! Shit!”
Luke, just like Y/N, rushed off. Clarisse smiled again. “So fun.”
Y/N hid within the comforts of her own cabin. She was supposed to teach some of the newbies archery but she was sure Clarisse could fill in for her.
“Luke… in love with me… no way.” She shook her head and deeply sighed, clutching onto her blanket. “He likes that Aphrodite girl.”
“Hey, sweetheart.” Speak of the devil. Luke opened the door, grinning at her. “Sorry I’m late. I tried meditating but I ended up falling asleep.” Classic him. “I brought you some food. I gotta teach some kids sword-fighting soon but I thought I’d just leave this here.”
Luke had one leg out of the door before Y/N stopped him. “Luke, can you maybe, I don’t know… stay over tonight? Again? It feels less lonely with you.” Y/N spoke slowly, as if testing the waters.
“Uh, yeah. Yeah. Sure. I’d be happy to keep you company. You can count on me, Sparky.”
Y/N scoffed, staring at Luke with her lips parted. “Sparky? No way are you calling me that.”
“Too bad. See ya, Sparky!” Luke managed to close the door before the pillow Y/N tossed his way hit him. She scoffed, looking around yet no words came out of her mouth.
“Sparky… Sparky?!” Y/N exclaimed in disbelief. “What sort of nickname is that?!”
Luke, who stood outside the door and heard Y/N, chuckled. He ran his tongue over his teeth, “Cute.”
A quiet knock on the door interrupted Y/N’s half-conscious nap. She stumbled to the entrance, slowly twisting the knob. “Hey.” She mumbled to Luke, who was holding an armful of snacks.
“Hey, Sparky.” He greeted her with his usual boyish smile. “Did I wake you?”
“I was just taking a small nap. You can always let yourself in, by the way.” Y/N muttered, yawning.
“I didn’t wanna be rude.” Luke replied as he stepped inside, brushing past Y/N. “Hey. I have an idea.” He suddenly said, spinning around. Y/N raised her eyebrows, gesturing him to continue. “I know you don’t like hanging out in this cabin so what do you say we check out the lake?”
“That’s breaking the rules.” Y/N said, shaking her head.
“Come on, I wanna go on a walk. And I’m already breaking rules being here. A few more can’t hurt.”
Y/N wanted to say no but how could she when Luke was looking at her like that?
“Fine.” She softly agreed. Luke dropped the snacks onto Y/N’s bed before dragging her out of her cabin. She didn’t even have time to grab a jacket.
Luke placed a finger over his lips, telling Y/N to be quiet. The two carefully creeped through the words, quietly giggling as they shoved each other.
“It’s prettier at night.” Y/N whispered, staring at the lake that sparkled in the moonlight. Luke smiled, nodding his head.
“Yeah.” He replied, but he wasn’t looking at the glittering water. He was looking at Y/N. “It’s absolutely beautiful.”
Y/N turned her head, faltering when she saw that Luke was already gazing at her. His lips curved into a bright smile.
“So, so… beautiful.” He repeated, staring into her eyes.
“Luke.” She muttered, thickly gulping. Butterflies swirled around in her stomach. After years of pushing down her growing feelings for Luke, they were coming back.
“Y/N.” He chuckled, adjusting his stance. But he slipped and fell into the lake. Y/N gasped, staring into the murky darkness.
“Luke?” She called out. “Luke!” He resurfaced, spitting out a mouthful of water. A few moments passed before Y/N burst into laughter. She stepped forward but tripped over a stray tree root. She hit the water with a loud slap, shocking Luke. He gasped, quickly swimming over. “Sparky, you good?” Luke questioned, holding her tightly.
She coughed. “It hurt a little but I’m good. Are you okay?”
“Yeah. Yeah. I’m good. Thanks for asking, Sparky.” He twirled a strand of Y/N’s wet hair around his finger, his gaze flickering to her lips. “Don’t kill me for this, Y/N.” He whispered, leaning forward.
His lips pressed against Y/N’s, who froze in shock. The kiss only lasted a moment before Luke pulled away, holding back the animalistic urge to do it again.
“I won’t kill you… if you don’t kill me.” Y/N quietly responded, grabbing Luke by the front of his shirt and tugging him forward.
The second kiss was less controlled, more wild. Luke held Y/N tightly, scared she would slip away if he lowered his guard. In this moment, Luke didn’t care about his drenched t-shirt or his soaking hair. All he cared about, and had cared about for the last few years, was the girl in front of him
“You kissed?!” Clarisse screamed, tugging on the ends of her curled hair.
“Hey! I don’t want everybody to know!” Y/N hurriedly shushed the girl. They were hanging around in the arena for some extra sword training and Y/N clumsily mentioned last night.
“Okay, but seriously. Reel back. You guys kissed? Not once, but twice? Oh, man, Y/N. You are so whipped for Luke!”
“I am not! Besides,” Y/N fidgeted with her fingers as she spoke, “I heard one of the new Aphrodite girls is interested in Luke.”
“What? And you’re just gonna let her have him? You’ve been crushing on Luke since you first saw him.”
“I wouldn’t call it that! It was admiration.” Y/N quickly snapped to defend herself. Clarisse mockingly raised an eyebrow.
“You couldn’t stop gushing over how he pushed you out of harm’s way when you got claimed.” The Ares kid pointed out.
Y/N huffed. “I mean, I’m a feminist, obviously. But… I wouldn’t really mind him saving me. I’m not entirely opposed… to the idea. I’m just torn, okay?!”
“What are you confused about? Luke obliviously has the hots for you too.”
“Luke and I have been good friends for ages! I’ve known him for ages too! If we start dating and it goes up in flames… I don’t only lose a partner but I also lose a friend! There’s so many factors to consider. So many things that could go wrong.”
“You already kissed. Sooner or later, he’s gonna confront you.” Clarisse’s eyes flickered to a figure behind Y/N, “And looks like he chose now. You wanna talk to him or do you want me to make a distraction?”
“Distraction, please. I’m not ready. I need to understand my own feelings before dealing with his.” Y/N practically begged Clarisse. Being such a good friend, the daughter of Ares nodded.
“I got your back, girl.” She walked past Y/N, blocking Luke’s path. “Yo, Luke, you interested in having a little spar?”
“Uh, actually, I need to talk to Y/N.” Luke uttered, glancing over at the H/C-haired girl.
“Y/N needs to check on someone. One of the Ares kids got badly injured. You go ahead, Y/N. I’ll be with you soon.” Clarisse waved her off. Y/N silently hurried off, avoiding all eye contact with Luke.
She wasn’t ready to face him just yet. I mean, what do you say to a friend you kissed? More like made out with. And passionately, might I add. Beside a lake at night.
Y/N knew Luke would go looking for her an hour before curfew, so that’s exactly why she sought refuge in the Ares cabin.
“This feels stupid.” She murmured as she rolled under one of the bed, shooing the dust away.
“He’s obviously going to try and ask Clarisse about your whereabouts. You only have to hide under there until he leaves.” Erin, a girl who was a year younger than Y/N, spoke. As predicted, Luke knocked at the door.
“Hey.” He said when Erin swung it open. “Is Y/N or Clarisse here? I need to talk to ether of them but Y/N would be preferred.”
Erin shook her head. “No. Clarisse is showering right now. Maybe check Apollo’s cabin for Y/N. She might be helping out with the injured. She does that sometimes.”
The second Luke disappeared, Y/N crawled out from under the bed. She combed away the dust in her hair. “I know what you’re thinking.” She grumbled, looking up at Erin. “Why am I going through all this trouble? It’s complicated. I’m not ready to face him… yet.”
Erin hummed as she stepped towards Y/N. “None of us will be helpful with advice but if you really want help, visit the Aphrodite cabin.”
That’s how Y/N found herself standing on a porch decorated with pink and hearts and shining pearls. She sighed to herself before she hesitatingly knocked. A short blond girl answered the door immediately.
“We’ve been waiting for you.” She said while Y/N stared at her in discomfort. “Not in a creepy way, though. I swear. We knew you’d need help with you-know-who so we kind of planned it already. Come in.”
The girl warmly guided Y/N inside, beaming. “Our head counsellor isn’t here at the moment but Mai should be plenty of help!” The blond girl pointed over to a brunette who sat on her bed, reading a book. She was dressed in black shorts and a pink crop top. But when Mai looked up, Y/N was sure she was judging her.
“On second thought,” Y/N nervously said, “Maybe I should come back another time. Maybe in the afternoon?”
“The time you come doesn’t matter.” Mai piped up, closing her book. She gazed at Y/N curiously. “You’re afraid of expressing your feelings, aren’t you?”
“I didn’t know this was a therapy session.” Y/N lightly joked.
“Y/N, it’s obvious to everybody that you harbour some feelings towards Luke.” Mai said, pressing her pink-tinted lips into a thin line. “You guys are like the dynamic duo. I understand that dating someone who’s also a friend is scary but sometimes you’ve got to take the risk.”
“If you’re scared about going back to your cabin and running into Luke, you can crash here for the night.” The blonde girl from before offered. Nobody else seemed to have any problems with that so Y/N agreed.
She ended up on the bunk next to Mai, her unlicensed love therapist. Y/N tossed and turned but she still couldn’t fall asleep. She quietly groaned, rubbing her eyes.
“Can’t sleep either, huh?” Mai piped up, pursing her lips.
“No. I can’t help but worry.”
“Let me ask you one question, Y/N. Do you like him?”
“Luke?”
“I didn’t say a name.”
Y/N groaned again. “Fine. You got me. Yes. I guess I like him. I like his smile and how he’s always giving me food and how he barges in when I’m feeling lonely. I think his curled hair is adorable and there’s no other guy better-looking than him to me. But… I’m scared that I just like his platonically. Or what if we do date and I end up losing him?”
Mai smiled. “Don’t stress over it too much. You’re the daughter of Zeus, after all.”
“Yeah, thanks. Good night, Mai.”
“Night, Y/N.”
Luke approached Y/N the next day at breakfast. He let out a subtle sigh of relief when she didn’t run away. “Hey,” He whispered to her, tapping her shoulder and interrupting her conversation with Erin and Clarisse. “Can we talk? Alone?”
“Uh, yeah.” Y/N exchanged looks with both of the girls, who nodded and mouthed good luck. “What did you want to talk about?” Y/N asked when they were in the safety of her cabin and away from all the prying eyes. She played with the hem of her bright orange shirt.
“Forgive me for how blunt I’m going to be but what are we, Y/N?” Luke asked, not beating around the bush.
“We’re friends.” Y/N choked out, her conversation with Mai last night going down the drain. Perhaps it was selfish but a part of her wanted to remain friends because at least that way, neither of them would get hurt.
“No.” Luke wildly shook his head, “Friends don’t kiss. Friends don’t spend the night in the other’s cabin. Friends don’t look at each other like we do. Friends don’t sneak out in the middle of the night to go to a lake and end up making out! And now you’re ignoring me!”
His voice increased in volume the more he spoke.
“That was a mistake, Luke! I-I didn’t meant to! It just happened! I’m not ignoring you! What makes you think that?!”
“Well, what am I supposed to think, Y/N? You’re always running off and our conversations are up and down now. Sometimes we don’t talk for days! Sometimes you seem obsessed with me! I don’t know what to think!”
“That’s rich, coming from you!” Y/N furrowed her eyebrows. “If you’re not with Chris then you’re with that Aphrodite girl! You practically ignore me when you’re with her!” Y/N harshly poked his chest.
“I do not! And back to the previous conversation, was it really a mistake? Was hugging me a mistake? Was staring so adoringly at me a mistake? Was kissing me a mistake?! Maybe it was a mistake to you, but it wasn’t to me.” Luke caressed her face, holding it tightly. “Kissing you… will never be a mistake to me. Never, ever.”
Y/N gulped, practically shaking in Luke’s embrace. His lips lightly brushed her’s and she flinched.
“Sparky- Princess- Y/N,” He finally decided on what to call her in the heated moment. “I have feelings for you. And I have for a long time. So if you don’t like me back… just tell me. Because I can’t spend the rest of my life chasing after you. I get that you might be in denial but once I walk through those doors, I’m giving up.”
“Luke…”
“Do you like me or not?”
“Luke… please…” Y/N didn’t really know what she was begging for. Tears welled up in her eyes as he took a small step towards the door.
“Do you like me or not?” He repeated in a firmer tone.
Y/N silently stared at the ground, her hands clenched into fists.
“I guess I was wrong about you returning my feelings… I’m sorry for bothering you. I’ll leave now.”
Y/N’s body moved on its own as she reached out to grab his arm and harshly pull him back. Her voice was supposed to be gentle but hanging out with Clarisse seemed to have an impact on her.
“Of course I like you, Luke! How could I not? But I’m afraid and confused and I don’t know what to do. I see the way other girls look at you. They like you. And I’m scared that I don’t stand a chance against them. And what if we mess up, Luke? If we date then break up, we won’t be able to be friends again. I can’t handle that!”
“I don’t think I can be just friends with you right now, Y/N.” Luke softly replied, taking Y/N’s hand in his and pressing a light kiss to it. Y/N stared at him with flushed cheeks. “I don’t care about any of those other girls. The only person I care about is you. We don’t have to rush into a relationship but I just need to hear you say that you like me. That’s all I need for now. Can you do that for me?”
Y/N shakily inhaled. “I…” She hesitated. “I like you, Luke.”
Luke pulled her into a hug, smiling as he inhaled the sweet scent of Y/N’s perfume. “That’s all I needed to hear, Sparky.”
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transmascissues · 5 months
Text
some thoughts about top surgery recovery, as of 3 days post-op:
when they say using your chest muscles sucks afterward, i never realized exactly how much was going to be be limited. coughing, sneezing, hiccuping, laughing — all of it is terrifying right now. even talking for too long starts to put that kind of stress on my chest, and my voice isn’t as strong as it usually is. it takes me forever to fully empty my bladder when i’m on the toilet because i’m totally relying on gravity to do all the work (and shitting was effectively impossible without a stool softener even though i haven’t taken the pain meds they said i would need them for)…and don’t even get me started on figuring out how to wipe (hint: back to front while sitting, using my dominant hand to push my non-dominant hand far back enough). using the computer is also harder — i was planning on playing lots of baldur’s gate after, but for the first couple days i could only really go for a few minutes before using my arms that way got too tiring. having a mastectomy pillow has been an absolute godsend when i’m using my phone because i can prop my arms up on it and not really have to use any muscles at all to hold them up.
the biggest piece of not being able to use my chest muscles right now, which i’m writing separately because it’s been such a huge thing for me, is that i cannot sit up or back by myself at fucking all. like, if i sit on the couch and lean back a bit to sit against the cushion, it hurts to pull myself back up to fully straight — and if i’m leaning back any more than that, i just can’t do it at all and i’m stuck there unless my boyfriend puts their hands behind me and pushes my dead weight back up. i totally get why some people sleep in a recliner now because i’m completely at the mercy of having someone there to help move me around once i’m at any sort of angle. sitting back is mostly the same as far as what i can do, and arguably hurts worse to attempt at all, but my ability to do it seems to be coming back faster than my ability to sit up. if you’ve never had your mobility limited to that extent before, prepare yourself: the first time you’re stuck somewhere and the person who normally helps you doesn’t answer immediately can be really fucking scary (i learned that the hard way).
the anesthesiologist warned me that i might have a sore throat after surgery from being intubated, but i was not prepared for what “sore throat” ended up meaning for me. you know that feeling of swallowing something that’s too big and you can still feel it in your throat even after it’s down? it’s like that times 20, and further down in my throat. the worst pain i’ve felt in the last three days wasn’t from the surgery itself, it was from trying to swallow pancakes when my throat was at it’s worst. today is the first day it’s even started to fade, and even now, it hurts just to swallow my own spit. i don’t know about you, but that’s not what comes to mind when someone tells me “you might have a sore throat”.
on that note, the incisions themselves have really been the least painful part in general, probably because the nerves there aren’t reconnected yet. the vast majority of my pain and discomfort at this point has been from the drains and bandages — the drain sites getting sore or just randomly starting to sting, waking up feeling suffocated by the ace bandages, etc. it’s not because anything is wrong with them — the drains weren’t placed wrong and the bandages aren’t too tight, they’re just a huge pain in the ass to deal with 24/7. i can’t express how much i’m looking forward to getting the drains out and being able to take binder breaks because it’ll make things so much more comfortable.
my incisions are connected in the middle because my chest tissue was all really close together, and the part where the incisions connect is really the only part where i’ve felt any pain so far. i suspect it’s because the swelling on either side is making that part of the incision push together and press against itself, and then the binder pushes on it even more. it’s not a severe pain at all, but i do sometimes lift the center of the bandage off my chest for a second to give that spot a bit of a break.
i’ve already started getting some of the weird sensations associated with nerves reconnecting, and it definitely is wild. so far, it’s been mostly tingly feelings, sometimes like chills and sometimes more like a limb falling asleep. (weird observation: taking a shit makes my ribs tingle? i’ve got no good explanation for that one.) i’ve gotten a zap on one side and some buzzing feelings too. it’s pretty mild right now, probably because it’s so early on.
i’ve also gotten what i would describe as phantom boob feelings, especially on the first night. specifically, when i close my eyes, sometimes i’ll feel like someone is touching or jiggling the boobs i don’t have anymore. definitely not a super pleasant experience, but i think being out of it from the anesthesia still really helped me not be too upset by the worst of it. i’ve gotten a couple little phantom nipple touches too, but those were just split second blips of sensation that were far less bothersome in comparison.
i never realized that the classic post-op hunch is caused more by the binder than by the body itself, but we had to take all of my bandages off the night after my surgery to send pictures of something to my surgeon, and i was shocked by how much straighter i could sit with everything off. i was definitely still hunched, but it was more like a natural slouch and less like i looked like i was using an invisible walker. with the binder on, it’s super uncomfortable for me to try to stand straight at all because it feels like the ace bandage doesn’t come with my body and just drags everything down, and i’m always holding my mastectomy pillow or my hands to my chest while i walk around to stop it from feeling like gravity is going make the bandage tear my chest open.
every so often, when things are getting especially painful or uncomfortable or just generally difficult, i do start to wonder if i made the right choice. not because i regret getting rid of those things — not by a long shot — but because it’s a fucking hard process to go through. this is probably the hardest thing for me to admit, but the rational part of my mind knows it’s natural to feel that way once in a while. all of this is temporary and the relief from dysphoria will be permanent, but right now? this is my entire world and it doesn’t feel particularly temporary and i do have moments of “why do i have to go through all this when other people get to just have the right body from the start? why couldn’t i just live with what i had? why can’t i just be living my normal life right now?” no matter how sure you are of your choice, no matter how proud you are of being trans, this shit is hard and it’s okay to feel that.
i’m going to put the pictures of my chest one day post-op under the cut, because i think it’s pretty rare to see pictures from that soon after the surgery. they’re not gorey at all — the actual incisions are totally covered by steri strips and everything around them is clean — but still, if you don’t want to see relatively fresh surgery results, don’t look under the cut.
for all the discomfort and pain and limitations and other weirdness of recovery, every time i look at these pictures it reminds me of exactly why i’m doing all of this, and i’m so glad i kept fighting for this for so long. some people might never understand why someone would choose to go through this whole process, but i know it’ll be worth it in the end.
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here’s my chest one day post-op! i think it looks super good and my surgeon said it looks like it’s healing perfectly (as much as it can be healing at one day). for reference, my chest was a DDD/F before surgery. i know this isn’t how my chest will look in the end, but i’m already thrilled with how things are turning out! i’ve truly never been more confident in my choice of surgeon — like, come on! look at that! she did so good!
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pandoraslxna · 10 months
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Neteyam drabble idea:
Neteyam has been stressed and goes to spend the afternoon unwinding with his human mate in the outpost, trying to relax. Reader notices this and ask if he wants to try something that'll let him get out all for frustration without hurting her. She offers to try a tit job.
Unwinding together
adult Neteyam x female human reader
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Words: 2.9k
Summary: Neteyam seems quite tense lately, and like the good friend that you are, you offer him a way to relief all of his stress.
Warnings: explicit smut, kinda friends with benefits, tit job, oral, size difference, Neteyam whimpers <3
Notes: I swear this started as a drabble at first but I just couldn’t help myself. (Also the reason why the plot is kinda messy haha) 😅
Na’vi translation:
Tanhì - little star
skxawng - moron
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Neteyam had been feeling especially tense over the past few days.
As his father, the olo’eyktan, was away for a couple of days to form an alliance between the omatikaya and tipani clan, most of Jake’s daily duties were left in Neteyams hands.
With most of his day gone, he had little to no time for himself now. He didn't even have time to hunt down and prepare his own meals or spend time with his siblings, let alone visit his favorite little human at hells gate as much as he actually wanted to.
Usually, it was easy for him to be on his own. He wasn’t exactly introverted, but he enjoyed his space. Neteyam trained alone, he hunted alone, and while his siblings were busy going on their little adventures together, Neteyam was either tasked to babysit them, stuck in war meetings or had other duties that kept him from socializing. But after he had meet you, he had grown accustomed to being pampered with your constant touch, your bubbly conversations, and endless affection. So much so, that he considered you his best friend. Probably even his only friend. And those feelings were definitely mutual.
You really had missed your big, blue mighty warrior. You had missed talking to him, missed having your dearest friend close, spending hours in each others company, even if it was just to nap or share lunch together during his busy schedule.
Which is why you were even happier that Neteyam had finally managed to come over for a short visit after another tiresome day, filled with war meetings and consultations that usually didn’t leave much room for you.
As excited as you were for him to visit you, to hear what was going on in his life, to tell him about your day– right now, however, you were silent. You were just watching him, laying on your entirely too small bed, his long limbs lazily hanging off the edge as he stared at the ceiling, lost in thought. There was a visible tension in his shoulders, even now when he was normally able to relax in the comfort of your presence, his mind was still at the village. You couldn’t say it out loud, but seeing him like this worried you.
"Teyam...", you sigh, calling him softly. His ears twitch at the sound of his nickname coming from the pretties set of lips he’s ever laid his eyes on, and immediately, he looks over at you. "Are you okay?", you ask carefully, "You seem pretty stressed lately."
"Hm, well yes", Neteyam chuckles. It wasn’t particularly funny, but amusing that there was no way to deny the obvious. Of course he was stressed. "I am, but that’s nothing you should worry about, tanhì. I’ve trained for this my whole life. Nothing I can’t handle."
At this, you huff and roll your eyes. He’s never been a good liar. Not even, when he was lying to himself. "Yeah, I know that. But I also know how hard the pressure on the next olo’eyktan can be. Theres a lot of responsibilities on your shoulders, and you carry it all alone. It's only a matter of time before you crack like an egg."
Neteyam eyes you for a moment, but then a teasing grin forms on his lips. "Are you calling me an egg?"
You shake your head with a giggle, "No, but you’re a skxawng!"
That makes him laugh now.
"All I'm saying is, that maybe…", there’s a pause and your tone turns more serious, while a blush creeps up your features, "you need to relief that stress. There’s plenty of ways to do it. And I know you love your bow more than anything, but maybe you should try something that isn't hunting? Hunting is too complicated, too complex. You need something where you can completely shut your brain off for a while, you know what I mean?"
"Yeah, maybe", Neteyam agrees with a nod, turning back to stare at the ceiling in thought. Then he shrugs, "But I don't know what else to do. Hunting has always helped me released all my inner fustrations. Reading tracks relaxes me. But I do enjoy flying too. Maybe—"
"I could help you relief some of that stress", you cut in, not even giving him the chance to suggest anything else. Neteyam snaps his head back at you with both of his brows raised high. Now, that piqued his interest. As tempting as that may sound, it couldn’t possibly be what you were suggesting, he thought. There was no way…
"Excuse me?", he shot back with a laugh.
"You know, like, uhm, a… a tit job maybe? If you want. Humans do that sometimes, so I thought, I don’t know..."
Your face was as red as a beet as you stammered an explanation, and to add further to your embarrassment, Neteyam suddenly bursts out laughing, "A what? Do your people really find that relaxing?"
You shrug, your eyes looking everywhere but him, "I… y-yes, some people do!"
In an instant, he stops laughing when he realizes that you weren’t joking. His mouth was dry but he swallowed anyway, blinking rapidly as he tried to proceed what you were saying.
Oh. So that was really what you were suggesting. For a moment, Neteyam was at a loss of words, struggling to think of a way to respond to this.
As he eyed you up and down, the blush on your cheeks turned into a deeper shade of red. It was adorable, seeing the way you suddenly grew insecure under his gaze. All that, after boldly suggesting something so filthy to a friend. And if the thought of you, going down on your knees and pleasuring him with your breasts didn’t had his mind spiraling, he would’ve loved to draw this moment out a little while longer, just to tease you further.
But if his little human friend wanted to help him relax, who was he to deny your offer? That’s what friends are there for after all. Right?
And that’s how Neteyam found himself sitting on your bed, his back resting against the cool wall, with your much smaller frame sitting on your knees right between his spread thighs, stripped of your top and bra.
Neteyam was hard as a rock the second his eyes fell on your pretty tits, so it wasn’t much of a surprise that, when he lifted his hips for you to help him out of his loincloth, his erection slapped against his lower abdomen with a soft thud. He couldn’t help but chuckle at your startled expression.
He was beautiful, a mouth watering sight. The blue on his shaft matched his skin color perfectly, but the soft tip was almost a tad purple. Surprisingly, there were no stripes to be found, but faint freckles littered from base to tip. However, it was his size that made you swallow thickly. The proportion definitely matched the rest of him, no doubt confirming your suspicion, that a tit job was probably the only way you could help him relax without putting yourself at risk.
Your hands, gentle but firm, run over his thighs, massaging his muscles to ease his nerves, or maybe even your own, while your eyes were entirely fixed on his cock.
"You know, I wanted to suggest a quickie at first", you murmur under your breath, as if talking to yourself. One of your hands then reaches for him, giving him an experimental stroke. Neteyam‘s breath stuttered, seeing that your hand was too small to close entirely around his girth. He watched, enraptured with the way your small hand held his cock, pinky lifted daintily and thumb arching to rub and swipe at the mushroom-like head, swirling around the glands. His dick felt heavy in your hand, the tip dark, highlighting the veins you took special care to pass over.
Neteyam melted into your hold, his hips hitching up, wanting to hump into your wonderful hand, but he held back.
"But then I went over the logistics and... Now I’m definitely sure there’s no way that will ever fit inside me", you giggle lightheartedly.
"Oh, I would make it fit, tanhì", Neteyam responded with a low chuckle, half lidded eyes staring down at you with such intensity, that it made you squirm, shifting your weight from one thigh to another. "But that’s something for next time. For now, I’m just curious to see how you humans help each other relax."
Next time. His promising words echoed in your mind, send a shudder to run down your spine.
You were hesitant at first, for a moment uncertain if you really wanted to bring something into this friendship that the both of you tried to suppress since the first time you met. Hesitant to be the first to break this tension that had been lingering in the air ever since you became close friends. You‘ve never done such things with each other before, never done more than give a quick peck to the other’s cheek, hugging and holding each other close when one needed it. But this, this was new and foreign and it almost felt forbidden.
Like sensing your thoughts, Neteyam’s hand comes to brush a strand of hair behind your ear, before he whispers, "You don’t have to do this, if you don’t want to."
"No. No, I suggested it after all. A-And I want to", you inhale, then exhale deeply, looking up at his eyes and then down at his cock again, "God, I really fucking want to."
A mischievous grin formed on his lips, as Neteyam watched you closely. Your tongue then darts out and you let a good amount of spit drip down right onto the tip of his cock, knowing he‘ll enjoy it more when it’s all wet and slick. Shuffling closer, you place your hands on either side of your chest, pushing your breasts together and trapping his cock right in between them. With a grunt of approval coming from Neteyam, you begin to move them, up and down on his length.
Your spit smears between your breasts, covering his shaft just right as you stroke him.
Neteyam could barely get a word out even though his mouth was now hanging open. Breathy sounds seemed to be all he was capable of in this moment. His long, braided hair started to stick to his temple, while a deep fluttering sensation coursed through his lower half and between his legs, his toes curling in his soles. It felt amazing.
All he was capable of, was watching you, hypnotized by the way your tits bounced and Neteyam felt like he was in heaven, on cloud nine, like he'd reached the Na’vi equivalent to nirvana.
Heat radiated from the base of his spine and traveled straight to his groin, and it didn’t take long for his hips to buck up against your chest, fucking right in between the space where your tits were pressed together, enveloping his cock in your warmth.
Between the wetness of your skin and the softness of your breasts, Neteyam knew he was done for as he began to plunge in and out the cleft, the very tip of him showing with each thrust he gave.
For a moment, you could’ve sworn you felt his cock throb, felt him twitch vividly, which only spurred on the pace you set.
The Na‘vi above you was breathing deeply now, with his head leaned back against the wall. His eyes were closed, though fluttered open in surprise when he felt your warm, wet tongue against his tip. A whimper escaped him as you teased the slit with your tongue and lapped up the pre-cum that beaded there.
"I didn’t know you were so sensitive", you giggled softly, followed by a long lick from base to tip between your strokes that made him moan.
Gathering spit and pre-cum on the up tug, you then slathered it back down his twitching length, enjoying the wet, squelching sounds it produced and the effect it had on him.
"I‘m not. Fuck", Neteyam cursed under his breath, "I‘m just trying to hold back and not flip you over and fuck you into the mattress right now…"
With a coy smile, you continued to lick lightly at the head of his cock, while moving your heavenly, soft, warm breasts over it, letting him fuck between your cleavage. And slowly, Neteyam was actually fucking them. He couldn't stop his hips from moving even if he wanted to.
Neteyam chased his orgasm like a predator chasing it’s prey. He couldn't think. All he could process were the different sensations on his aching, twitching cock.
"So good", he groaned from above, "oh fuck, that’s it. You really got some pretty tits, tanhì."
Neteyam wanted to do something, he really wanted to. He was more of a pleaser than just the type of guy to sit back and let his partner do all the work, but right now, he didn't have nearly the brain capacity to act on his own.
"Wanna touch them?", you smiled up at him. "C‘mon, Teyam. Use me. Get yourself off."
His hands moved before he could think too much about it, his palm replacing yours and cupping your left tit, happy to hold the tender flesh. He didn't even squeeze, he just bit the inside of his cheek and watched the way your breast curved when he held it like this or that, the way your nipple began to harden against his thumb as he teased it with a lingering touch. His second hand joined the other on your chest, fingers fanning out to hold both of them. They were so warm and absolutely perfect in his eyes, and his heart raced at the sight of his cock squished between them, when he pressed them further together.
Soon enough, his thrusts turned even faster and more desperate, with moans falling from his lips like rain from the sky.
The head of his cock came to kiss your spit slicked lips, so you let your mouth hang open, tongue lolling out for his length to glide along the wet muscle whenever he thrusted up.
Neteyam’s hands squeezed your tits just a little tighter, his breath turned more into a rapid panting, before he finally whimpers, "Can I cum on them? P-Please, i‘m close!"
He wanted to be embarrassed by the noises that were coming out of him, but he was just so close that he couldn’t think of anything else, that he couldn’t care. His hips bucked up, harder, faster, and you had to hold onto his wrists to stabilize yourself.
"Go ahead, cum for me. Cum on me", you encouraged him in such a soft and caring tone, it made his eyes roll back into his head. "Make a mess, Teyam. You deserve it."
And that‘s it. Neteyam finally felt free to let go of his worries, his mind going completely blank as he simply did what felt good.
He tries to keep watching, overwhelmed by the way it looks when the head of his cock peaks out from between your tits, only to press against the flat of your tongue. But when he feels the most intense orgasm he’s ever had, approach, his eyes instinctively want to shut. But he doesn’t want to. He wants to see you.
"FuckFuckFuckFuck", he moans, high pitched and whiny, the words all morphed together as he chases his orgasm. You can’t help but moan yourself, the sheer strength and the rapid pace of his thrusts enough to turn your breasts sensitive. It doesn’t help when his thumb purposefully brushes over your nipples, his palms squeezing the flesh in his hands and kneading them roughly.
You’re just so hot like this. So perfect. Beautiful. He can’t help it. It takes you aback when he suddenly gets up from the bed to stand in front of you. One of his hands leaves your chest and instead tightens in a fist full of your hair, basking in the little moan it earns him. His other hand leaves your breast as well, in favor of closing itself around his cock and beginning to jerk himself off, in a way that was no match to the rhythm he had fucked your tits before. It made you realize just how much he had actually held himself back earlier.
"Coming– hngh, fuck! I‘m coming, I‘m coming!"
At the last second, you snap back from your thoughts just in time to open your mouth wide and stick your tongue out. Drool runs down your chin as you watch him furiously stroke his cock right in front of your face, the tip resting against your tongue as he does so. His chest heaves, there’s sweat rolling down his flexed abs.
And then you feel Neteyam‘s cock pulse, you feel his hips stutter, his legs wobble and he moans, low and deep, like thunder, before thick spurts of cum, rope after rope land right there on your face. Your tongue, your chin and especially your chest are all painted in white streaks now.
Finally, his lungs fill themselves with air again as he plops back down onto your bed, the mattress creaking under his weight. Slumping back, he inhales deeply, panting for air with a hand clasping on his chest.
Neteyam looked absolutely spent, the tension in his shoulders seemingly gone, reduces to zero. And he felt that way too, like you had turned him into a puddle of goo.
"Better?", you ask with a giggle, a self satisfied smirk adorning your flushed face.
"Eywa, woman", Neteyam chuckles breathlessly, "I can’t even feel my legs anymore!"
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sxxythingz · 11 months
Text
Needy
Neteyam sully (22) x human fem! reader (22)
Taglist: @sullybrosimp requested this and I know it literally took forever but here it is so I hope you like it!! 💕
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Warnings: smut, p n v, cursing, aged up characters, cream pie, restraints, dom Neteyam
Summary: you and Neteyam have been dating for a short time, but you finally get to experience his rut with him and let’s just say… you have a really good time indeed.
WC: 3.1K
🛑MDNI🛑
You sit in Neteyam’s lap as he softly kisses your lips with passion, having your usual make out routine as you do every single day. You place your arms around his neck pulling him in closer to you as you hear his breath slowly picking up, turning into heaves. You feel his tongue swipe across your bottom lip, almost as if asking for permission and you grant it as you open your mouth, allowing his tongue in.
His tongue wrestles against yours, his rough hands massaging your back until they reach your hips, where his fingertips dig into your skin sure to leave marks as you softly moan. He takes his lips away from yours, leaving quick peppered kisses along your neck as he forces your hips down on his pelvis, pushing you forwards and backwards making a groan erupt from his throat.
He brings his lips back up to yours almost as if he’s in a rush to kiss you, roughly crashing his lips into yours once again, catching you off guard this time. He takes your bottom lip into his sharp teeth roughly biting down and you whimper, pushing him away from the pain. “Shit… I’m so sorry yawne. I-I didn’t mean to hurt you.” Neteyam’s eyes stay glued to you as you feel your lip, collecting a small sample of blood on your finger.
Neteyam is usually extremely gentle with you at all times since you’re so much smaller than him, treating you like a fragile, expensive piece of glass, but today has been different. You’ve spent hours cuddling and kissing, but he's been rougher than ever although you can’t say that you don’t somewhat like it. He tries his best to clear up the blood, running his thumb across your lips but you stop his attempt. “It’s ok, my love. I am fine, but what’s going on with you? You’re usually never this rough.”
You take your bottom lip into your mouth, licking the blood off of it as you watch his face turn to guilt. “I think I’m going into rut and I-I can’t control myself. I should’ve told you before but I wasn’t sure until now, I’m sorry. I usually deal with them alone so I’ve never experienced it with someone and I don’t want to hurt you.” You hear his words, but your mind is distracted by the feeling of you sitting on the hard buldge poking through his loincloth.
You slightly rock your hips, earning a hiss from him as his head falls back. “What if I want to help you through it this time?” Your finger drags down his tight abs agonizingly slow, starting at his chest then back down until you reach just above his loincloth, teasing him by messing with the hemming. “I-If I allow myself to fully let go… I’ll just cause you pain and I would never forgive myself if I h-hurt you.” He stutters as his stomach heaves up and down in a quick paste, the concentration of trying to contain himself is written all over his face.
You kiss his lips, then leave more kisses on his tight jaw until you lead to his ear. “Good thing I like pain.” You seductively whisper before biting his ear, making it flinch as he moans. “Y/n… you can’t-“ His words are interrupted as you place your finger over his lips before jumping off of his lap to stand up. “Hold that thought. I have an idea.” You go into your bag to grab a couple pieces of cloth that you have handy for making anything that you need.
You step back over to him and smirk while dangling the cloth, his eyebrow raises in question as his eyes continuously shift from you to the cloth. “Lay down on your back, hands above your head.” You demand and he quickly shakes his head at you. “No, I’m not doing this.” He protests as he folds his arms, almost in a childish motion.
“This is just to make sure that you don’t hurt me like you think that you will, it’ll work just fine. Now lay down Nete.” You give him a glare and he rolls his eyes before doing as you say, earning a gloating smile from you as you walk over to him and tightly secure the cloth around his wrists, making him wince as you pull it one more time to assure that it’s tight. You look into his eyes who now have a darker tint to them, signifying that his rut has fully begun.
“Let's have some fun, hm?” You smirk as you glare into his eyes, slowly kissing down his stomach until you reach the hemming of his loincloth. His eyes intensely watch you, pain coating them as you take your time just to tease him. You give him a bright smile before kissing the buldge in his loincloth, his hips bucking as you quickly stand up.
His eyes follow you as you run your hands up and down your body, turning around to unbutton your shorts, slowly pulling them down until they touch your ankles. You hear a groan coming from behind as you step out of the shorts and turn back around to remove your shirt, leaving you in just your panties and bra. “I bet you wish you could touch me, don’t you?” You maliciously grin as you watch Neteyam pout, making you laugh.
“Stop fucking teasing and come fuck me, Y/n.” You can see the desperation in his face as you sit back in his lap. You know the game you’re playing, you heard about how feral Na’vi men get during their rut and you knew that if he were to get his hands out of the cloth, it was over for you. But a part of you loved the danger in this, the thought just turned you on even more.
“Relax baby. I’m going to fuck you, but first I want to have some fun.” You reach behind you, unlatching your bra and letting it fall off of you while Neteyam watches you, and although he’s seen you bare plenty of times, it always makes you so nervous to have his eyes on you so intensely. You grope your boobs in your hands, pressing your hips into his once again to grind down with more force, getting yourself off just from the groans coming from him.
A giggle bubbles from your throat as you lean down, your bare chest on his, to suck the soft skin on his neck. You feel him buck his hips once again as he whines and you release his neck to look into his eyes innocently. “Do something.. please. I can’t take it anymore.” He begs you and you smirk at his pleading attempt. “Aww. You’re so cute when you beg baby.” Your hand reaches up to his face to cup his cheek before leaving one last kiss on his lips.
You maneuver your way back down to his loincloth and quickly dispose of it, leaving his dick to spring out with the cool air hitting it making him hiss. You watch as precum drips from the tip and onto his stomach, making you drag your finger through it to get taste. “Mmm… you always taste so good.” You grip his dick into your small hand, but he quickly stops you.
“I-I need you to fuck me. I need to be inside of you, please yawne.” Your pussy throbs at his words, the ones that you’ve never heard him say to you before. If you weren’t sure before, you were more than sure now that he actually was in rut considering that he never turns down head from you, but he needed a different type of release today and you were more than happy to give it to him.
You nod your head in approval before standing up to quickly rid yourself of your panties, leaving you completely exposed to him. “Your body is so fucking beautiful.” Neteyam whines, heating your cheeks up as you step back to the bed and sit on top of him. “You say that every single time that you see it.” You smile, rolling your eyes at him as you grab his dick, giving it a few strokes before lining yourself up with him.
“And I mean it every single time that I say it.” Those are his last words before you slide down on him, earning moans from both you and him in unison. No matter how many times you’ve done this, every time that he enters you, it feels like the first time. You can’t tell if it’s butterflies or him making your stomach feel flustered and full, but excitement takes over your body as you watch relief wash over his face as he’s finally able to feel all of you.
You sit still for one minute to allow yourself to adjust to his size as you place your hands on his chest and move your hips up and down painfully slow to watch his reaction. “Fuck! F-Faster baby, please.” He finally says something and you laugh a little as you torture both of you, just for your amusement. “If you want it faster, you’ll have to get out of your restraint to do it yourself baby… And good luck getting out of them.” You knew that he would take those words as a challenge, but you just couldn’t stop yourself from saying it as excitement rumbled through your stomach like thunder.
Neteyam whines senselessly underneath you as you bite and nip at his neck while you move your hips back and forth, his dick hitting the right spot with every movement that you make. You feel him thrust his hip up as he tightly closes his eyes, grunting while biting his own lip and you smirk at the vulnerability that you have him in.
You were so busy watching his facial expressions that you hadn’t even noticed him wriggling out of the cloth tied around his wrists until you feel his hands firmly grip hold of your waist and flip you over so that he’s on top of you this time. Before you can say anything, he places your tiny wrists in his large hand and thrusts deeply into you, earning a loud scream from you.
“Don’t ever fucking tie me up again or I’ll make you regret it.” The rasp in his voice send shivers through your spine as he continues to rut into you, his tip kissing your cervix with every thrust. This is the roughest sex that the two of you have ever had since he’s always so afraid to hurt you, but you feel guilty for loving this more than how softly he normally fucks you.
He places your legs on his shoulders, wrapping his long fingers around your waist for leverage to roughly pound into you. “F-Fuck Nete! I think I’m a-about to cum!” Your back arches off of the bed, but instead of finishing you off, Neteyam quickly pulls out making a loud popping noise as he breathes out. “No. Turn your ass around now. I’m about to teach you a lesson.” The dominance in his voice makes you even wetter than you already are, which you could’ve sworn was impossible.
You gulp hard before turning around, automatically placing your ass in the air as you plant your face into your pillow, your heart racing at the thought of his last words. “I need more arch baby.” You feel his hands softly caressing your back before he pushes down hard, bringing you into a full arch. “Mhm, just like that.” He brings his hand down for a loud smack on your ass, making you wince at the pain.
“You’re so fucking wet for me. Do I turn you on this much?” The tip of his dick slides up and down your dripping folds as you moan softly, trying to push your hips back in hopes that he would enter you but instead he pulls himself away from you with a chuckle. “Now it’s my turn to tease you. Do you want to cum baby?” He brings himself back towards you, this time pressing the tip firmly against your clit as he rubs it in circles, making you flinch.
“Yes Nete! I want to cum, just please fuck me!” You desperately yell out in frustration, but knowing that this was your punishment for tying him up and teasing him. “Doesn’t feel so good when it’s you, does it?” He lets out another chuckle as he smacks your ass once again making you wince. “I love seeing you like this. Needy for my dick. Needy to feel me inside of you, just as needy as I was to be inside of you.” He takes his tip completely away from you and runs two of his fingers up your folds, collecting your slick onto his fingers before tasting it and moaning at the taste.
He places the tips back at your entrance, barely inserting it in before taking it back out. The teasing becomes too much for you as tears begin to weld in your eyes, trying your best to hold it in as you knew that you would get this. “I should tie you up. Make you keep your hands above your head just like you did me. Leave you helpless so that I can torture you just like you did me.”
He easily pushes himself into you a little further as you rolls your eyes and lay your face back into the pillow, mentally begging him to fuck you and get it over with already. “But I won’t do that to you. I’d rather watch you scratch at the sheets while I fuck you deep and hard. Just.. like.. this.” He plunges himself into you completely as his hips snap into your ass, causing a ripple effect. As if on cue, your nails dig into the sheets as you scream out in a mixture of pain and pleasure.
He pulls back out and snaps his hips against yours yet again, making you reach your hand back to his pelvis in an attempt to push him away but instead it only makes him mad as he smacks your hand away and grabs a handful of your hair, pulling your head back roughly. “Pushing me away won’t work baby. I know like this shit so take it.” He leans down and huskily whispers into your ear, making you moan.
He continues to thrust into you with force, speeding up his pace until your eyes are rolled so far into the back of your head that you’re afraid that they might just get stuck there. “N-Neteyam, shit! I’m about to fucking cum!” You feel your orgasm approaching, a tight knot forming in the bottom of your stomach as clapping noises fill the room.
“Don’t you fucking cum until I tell you to. You better not, Y/n.” You groan out uncontrollably, his demand just pushing you more off of the edge and he knows that. “I c-can’t-“ “yes you fucking can, just a little longer.” You try to hold it in as his thrusts get sloppier with every single hit. His grip on your hair loosens as his hand travels back down to your hips, grinding you on him as his grunts and groans become louder. “Fuck… now! Cum on my dick baby.”
With those words, you finally let go, allowing the orgasm to wash over your body as his warm cum paints your insides, creating a masterpiece that only the two of you will ever know about. You and Neteyam pant heavily in an attempt to catch your breath as he gives you one last smack to your ass before pulling out of you and falling down on the bed to lay beside you. You lay flat on your stomach, fluttering your eyes at Neteyam as you watch him calm down from his high.
“Are you feeling any better?” You extend your hand to his strong chest, leaving gentle touches behind as you feel his heart beating through it. He looks over to you, his eyes finally turning back to their beautiful yellow color as he grabs you into his arms, pulling you chest to chest with him and grabbing your quilt that you have on your bed to cover both of your sweaty naked bodies.
“I’m feeling much better, thanks to you yawne.” He leaves a wet kiss on your forehead, taking the hand that was originally rubbing your back and softly stroking your hair, sending tingle through your body. “At least for now. My rut lasts 3 days and the feeling will come back so if you don’t want to finish it off with me, I can understand that.” You smile at his obliviousness, he has no idea that you want to experience everything that he goes through right beside him.
“I wouldn’t want to miss it for anything. There’s nowhere else that I would rather be than right here with you my love.” A smile spreads across his face as he leans down and kisses you softly before laying his forehead on yours, slowly blinking his eyes. “I love you, ma Y/n.” He whispers to you for the first time since you guys made it official, leaving your heart to flutter.
“I love you, ma Teyam.”
“Hey Y/n, I was wondering if- woah!” You and Neteyam both quickly hop up attempting to cover yourself with the covers as you look towards the entrance of your cot, watching Lo’ak back out while closing his eyes. “Lo’ak! W-What are you doing here?!” You yell at him as you look over to see Neteyam trying to contain his laugh at his brother's antics. “I didn’t know that my brother was here, I was just about to ask a question but I-I, it seems like I’ve interrupted something so… no you know what, it’s fine! No really, I can just come back later or something? Yeah, I’ll just come back later.”
You and Neteyam both look at each other as you watch Lo’ak trip over his own words, you holding in your laugh as well. “I’ve got to go wash my eyes out or something. I’ll never be the same after this.” Lo’ak says before completely exiting your cot, leaving just you and Neteyam alone once again. You both look at each other before bursting out into a fit of laughter as you lay back down and cuddling into each other's arms to stay in that same spot until your next session.
A/N: It took me a while to write this because I kept scrapping everything that I would write until yesterday morning when I literally just woke up and went to work on it, so I really hope you guys enjoy!! 💖
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jongseongsnudes · 4 months
Note
THE NIKI DRABBLE WAS SO ADORBSSSS CAN I PLEASE MAKE A REQUEST!
- Haruto (!!the instigator!!) helps the couple back together after a dumb fight
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0.8k words. slight angst, cringey & fluffyyyyyyy.
“nishimura is the most annoying-est person to ever live! why does everyone like him!”
“you like him.”
“not only that! but he has the audacity to yell at me for what? for trying to help him?”
“that’s your fault. you’re dating him.”
you stop complaining and glare over to haruto, who was too busy driving to notice your newly raised brows.
“watanabe you’re not helping.”
“well not my fault you’re both headaches,” he shrugs as he pulls into taki’s drive way, the loud music coming from the house already attacking your poor ears.
with taki’s parents out of town for the weekend, the boy had gathered the team over for a little get together. but boys being boys, of course they forget to prepare anything other than themselves.
so here you were, coming back from the supermarket with loads of snacks and drinks.
“i’ll see you inside miss class president,” he disappears before you could even respond, leaving you with all the grocery bags in his car boot.
although you had this problem to figure out, your mind was more distracted by something else instead. your boyfriend.
it was pretty normal for you and niki to bicker on the daily, usually over nothing and it’d end as quick as it began. but today’s bickering session unfortunately ended with him saying something hurtful and you saying something out of line.
a stupid fight yet you’re both giving each other the cold shoulder, just because you're both too stubborn to admit it.
“why are you pushing me watanabe?” your boyfriend’s sudden deep voice breaks you from your thoughts, the boy now standing at the front door with haruto behind him.
“you two are so annoying. make up or break up before you come back inside,” haruto says as he pushes niki out and shuts the door with a thud, trapping you both outside together.
you sigh and walk to haruto's boot, not paying too much attention to the team captain who is currently banging on the front door like the maniac that he was.
to your surprise, the tall boy appears beside you only a second later, hands reaching out for the grocery bags but you ignore it.
“let me take them in.”
“i don’t need your help.”
“they are heavy,” he reaches for them again, only for you to push him away slightly, “i’ll take them-”
“no i can do it myself!”
“you are so damn stubborn!” the boy yells as he slams the boot closed out of the blue, startling you. he doesn’t give you the time to respond and immediately lifts you up by the waist, placing you to sit on the boot. to prevent you from getting away, niki places both his hands on either sides of you, trapping you in completely.
although you’re supposed to be giving him the cold shoulder, you can’t help but swoon for a moment. swoon at how god damn breath taking he looked this close.
if you weren’t currently fighting, you probably would’ve kissed him already.
“nishimura move.”
“no, we need to talk. right now.”
“alright, what do you want to talk about?” you fold your arms, your expression much more sulky compared to his current angry one, “is it what haruto said... break up?”
“what- what the hell!” the boy seemed even angrier than before, his hands raised in the air like you had just said the most insane thing, “you fucking wish!”
his response catches you off guard, your mind unable to come up with anything to say other than gulp.
“baby,” he says in a much calmer tone, the boy now chuckling to himself, “funny of you to think you’ll ever successfully get away from me.”
“then? you’ve been ignoring me the whole day, even when i tried to talk to you earlier.”
“i’m sorry i was being stupid... i didn’t mean to yell at you either,” he reaches to softly cup your cheeks, making you look at him, “can you forgive your handsome, tall, smart, athletic boyfriend?”
the disgusted face you automatically make has the boy in complete stitches and you immediately follow suit, the two of you laughing loudly amongst yourselves like two crazy people.
it reminded you of why you fell for him in the first place and why you still liked him.
“i don’t know. depends on-”
he leans in, kissing you and shutting you up.
“as i was saying! depends on-”
and he kisses you again, shutting you up again.
“just say you want me to kiss you and i’ll do it. no need to play these dirty tricks with me, miss class president.”
“i was not-”
just as you expected, he kisses you again, only this time it melts your heart even more than the last. the view of niki smiling and so giddy into the kiss, always something your heart can barely survive through.
“you’re lucky i like kissing you miss class president.”
“well shut up and do it then nishimura-”
“oh god i think my lunch is coming up. oh no i’m gagging,” both you and niki turn to taki’s voice, just to see the entire team now standing on the front porch, all making gagging faces at the sight of their team captain and his girlfriend.
kissing.
“you’re all going to SUFFER at practice tomorrow!!!”
-
end.
2024 © jongseongsnudes on TUMBLR. PLEASE DO NOT COPY, TRANSLATE OR REPOST.
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teyamsatan · 1 year
Text
High Infidelity II
Adult!Neteyam x (f)Metkayina!Reader x Aonung
Warnings: cheating, aonung being an absolute dick, cursing, 18+ minors dni
Word count: 5.6k words
Notes: besties, you ate this up and i love you for it. seems we all love neteyam mr steal-yo-girl, and i get it, i get it so much. enjoy x
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Lock broken, slur spoken, wound open, game token I didn't know you were keeping count
Your picket fence is sharp as knives I was dancing around, dancing around it
“One day, you’re going to beg me to fuck you. And I’ll do it so well, you will never be able to get me out of your mind, never be able to touch yourself again without an image of my cock slipping in and out of you ingrained in your brain.” 
His words lingered in your mind as much as the aftershocks of the pleasure he took out of you lingered in and on your body. You were shaking, shaking with guilt and fear, at what you did, at what just happened, at thoughts of how you could possibly fix this, or hide this, but worst of all, at how much you wanted more. You needed more. You were shaking because it wasn’t enough. Reeling because, right now, even as fear and guilt pooled in you, they held no candle to the desire that settled deep within your soul, that seeped into every facet of your being, into every cell of your body. 
You wanted him. You needed him. You wondered briefly if there were any lengths you wouldn’t go to in order to feel this feeling again, to get him to do to you everything you knew he was capable of, everything you couldn’t even imagine, but wanted to find out. As you made your way back to your tent slowly, face flushed and weak knees, trying to adjust your disheveled figure and your wrinkled loincloth, you knew the answer was no. There were no lengths.
You were excited to be able to go to sleep tonight, excited to be able to leave your mind and soul to rest and weigh in the calamitous actions that have transpired in this fateful day, and felt anxiety fill you up as thoughts of the consequences of your actions started bearing down on you. What were you going to do? How would you ever be able to look Aonung or his family in the eye ever again? You were angry at him, so angry, so bitter and hurt at the way he has treated you for so long, at the way it felt like he almost pushed you into this scenario, pushed you to a point of breaking, a point you never thought you’d reach. You were a good girl. Kind, and happy and empathetic and understanding. That’s why you and Tsireya have always had such a strong bond - two girls with no ulterior motives, no underlying agenda, no mean spirit or facetious intentions. Just pure light, emanating and spreading around you to everyone you touched. You stood by Aonung his whole life, you allowed him to change and grow while he shrunk you into a shell of yourself, of who you were, who you could have been if he actually loved you enough, actually cared enough. 
Your tent was cold and desolate as you entered it, just like you felt. All alone. The longer Neteyam’s presence and his warmth and his words were removed from your own, the worse you felt, the worse the feelings pooling in the pit of your stomach, nagging at your mind and cursing you, admonishing you for your thoughtless actions and irredeemable mistakes.
“I fucked up again, didn’t I?”  
You jolted violently at the voice coming from deep within your tent, enveloped in a blanket of deep, unflinching darkness. You turned towards it, and as your eyes adapted slowly, you could make out Aonung’s body, and the tiny bioluminescent freckles glistening dimly and increasing in size as he moved closer to you.
Your heart thumped in your chest as the one person you didn’t want to see, the one person you couldn’t see without fumbling into a mess of broken heartedness and misery, stood in front of you, shoulders hunched and a forlorn look on his usually peppy and unencumbered face. 
“I can’t seem to be able to stop myself from hurting you, from making a mess of a good situation, a good person.”
You gulped silently at his words, trying to push the lump that formed in your throat, that didn’t allow you to speak or to acknowledge his presence, so you just watched him and waited. Waited, as he reached over and took your hand in his, his soft hands a striking difference to Neteyam’s calloused ones, and you cursed yourself for thinking of the Omatikaya boy even in this moment, when he should be pushed away from your thoughts, so far away he should be a dot on the horizon of your mind. His other hand found your cheek, that he was caressing carefully, softly, like you were a doll or a feather that would be blown away at the slightest push or breeze of the wind, which, in this moment, it felt like you were. 
“Please look at me. Please.” 
He willed your face upwards, putting pressure on your jaw as you refused to meet his gaze, and eventually you had no choice but to see his eyes, those beautiful sky blue eyes that you used to get lost in as a child, that used to shimmer and glow with childlike wonder when they looked at you, eyes that were now red and sad. You winced as you took them in, took him in, as the regret and sorrow almost rolled off of him and into you, amplifying your own pitiful emotions and your ever-growing self-loathing. 
“I’m so sorry. I know the words mean nothing coming from my mouth, I know that. I know that no words could ever make it up for the way I’ve been treating you all this time, and how much I have taken your love, your kindness, for granted. You know, you are the only one, the only person in my life that has always stood by me, that has seen me for more than I was, but who I could one day be. I’ve always felt like a failure. My whole life, I have lived in the shadow of my parents, who I have continuously let down by not being who they wanted me to be, who they thought I could be. I have lived my whole life knowing I was a disappointment to them, a stain on their immaculate track record, that was partially erased only by Tsireya’s presence, but was still there, no matter how hard they tried to hide it. But you, you’ve always seen me, you’ve always believed in me. I have loved you my whole life, but when they both ordered me, told me I had no other choice but to be your mate, that you were the only way I could redeem myself in their eyes, you became something else. A burden, another reminder of all the things I’ll never be, all the ways I’ll never be enough for my family. I blamed you for their shortcomings, and my own, and I am sorry.”
The tears were falling flawlessly down your face, like there was no other place for them to be than on your cheeks and on your chest, on his thumbs as he was brushing them away gently. 
“I’ll be better, I promise. You deserve better.” 
I don’t, you thought miserably. Not anymore. 
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You barely got out of your tent in the next few days, dread filling you as the marui shook with every person who walked the common pathways that connected all the homes together, as you imagined it was Aonung or Neteyam, or Tsireya, or anyone else who you would have to look at and talk to and lie to. Your mate-to-be was busy, busier than usual with the Omatikaya, who were all getting better in time and as a result, needed more attention with more complicated matters, matters which took effort and patience, and you were glad. In a sick part of your soul, you hoped Aonung would have continued treating you like dirt, like he had for so long, as that would have diminished the guilt eating at you, guilt that now engulfed your every happy thought, every ray of light in you and replaced it with dark thoughts and heavy resentment for everyone involved. You tried so hard to stop thinking of Neteyam, of his hands and his lips and his words, and hated him for doing this, hated him for the effect he had on you, for turning you from an innocent soul into this, an adulterer, a liar, a mess of depraved thoughts and desires, pulsating through your body and settling in your core, that ached to be filled, that was dying to feel him, to be ruined by his touch, that was so powerful that it took everything in you, every ounce of focus and self-restraint to drown it, instead of letting it drown you. 
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A few more days passed and you knew it was time to face the world, and face your fears. Your eyes settled on the new bracelet now adorning your arm, crafted by him with some of the most beautiful beads, pebbles and shells you have ever seen. An apology gift, he called it. As you thought about it, and about him, a revelation hit you, spreading its gleam all around you and bringing new breath in your lungs.
A new beginning. You both deserved a new beginning. You both deserved the chance to start over. You made mistakes. A big one in particular. But so did he. So many of them. You both screwed up, but you could move past. He wanted to, why shouldn’t you want to? He was your mate-to-be, he was your chosen one, your betrothed, your friend since childhood. You both deserved a second chance. You wanted to try. You had to try, you owed it to yourself and to him to try to give this a chance. 
And now was the best time to do it, as you knew from Tsireya that she was taking the Sullys to the Cove of the Ancestors today, which meant Aonung was most likely training with his father. 
“One day, you’re going to beg me to fuck you. And I’ll do it so well, you will never be able to get me out of your mind, never be able to touch yourself again without an image of my cock slipping in and out of you ingrained in your brain.” 
Neteyam was a mistake. A mistake you wouldn’t make again. You had to try. 
You had to try. 
As you suspected, Aonung was deep in training with his father, who looked up and smiled widely as his eyes fixated on your approaching form. You liked Chief Tonowari. He was kind and gentle, and he was excited about the prospect of you joining their family. You wondered briefly if he could ever understand, if he knew how much his excitement on the matter inadvertently caused you grief, and put strain in between you and his son and made the bond that much more difficult to deal with, the idea that much harder to swallow.
You greeted him, smiling in his direction and the smile faltered slightly as you and Aonung made eye-contact. He was still embarrassed about his actions, and still thought you were distant because you hadn’t forgiven him yet. You hadn’t, but your need for distance had dark undertones he could never even imagine, and you didn’t want him to. 
“Are you here to train with us?” The Olo’eyktan chuckled a little at his joke. You were no warrior and he knew that. You didn’t have the stomach for such things, preferring to keep to yourself and to help from the sidelines, the gift of the Tsahik running through your veins from a young age.
“Not quite, just here to see your son.” 
“If your parents don’t come back in time, you should join us for the celebration of the tulkun returning. We’d love to have you, and I’m sure my children would, too.”
“I’d love to. Thank you for the invitation.” 
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Elation enveloped you as the horn that announced the return of the tulkun was blown, and you immediately left your tent and dove straight into the warm, clear-blue water and called for your trusty ilu, your good friend, hurrying towards your spirit sister, that you knew was waiting for you. It was a day of bliss, of celebration, of happiness in the clan, the most important day of the year, that marked the beginning of days of festivities and rituals, and you couldn’t wait. It was like the universe, like Eywa was giving you a chance, a clear sign that the tides were changing, and you could be changing with them, embracing the new and discarding the old. 
You heard her sooner than you saw her, her indistinguishable voice propelled through the water straight to your ears and through your body, filling you with relief and light. Her trills and stories allowed you to relax for the first time in so long, and you listened as she told you tales of her travels, of all the memories she’s made in the year you’ve been apart. When it was your turn, you did the same, stopping at the story you wanted most to tell, but knew you couldn’t, even to her. 
“There’s more that you want to say, isn’t there? I know you’re keeping something from me, something important, something life-altering.”
You winced and scowled in her direction, upset at how well she knew you, at how connected you were. You looked around you, trying to see if anyone would be paying attention to you, and noted all Metkayina were too busy with their own stories, their own reunions, for you to matter in the slightest. 
“I met someone. He makes me feel things I have never felt before. He makes me question my life, and everything in it. He treats me well, and says all the right things, but it’s wrong, it’s a mistake. He’s a mistake. I’m trying to fix it, but I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to.” 
“Sometimes, people come in our lives as mirrors to ourselves. Mirrors to our soul, allowing us to see the truth in who we are, the truth of what we want. To shine a light on the darkness within, on the deepest parts of us we would have never seen without them. Sometimes, that’s the only way for light to enter in places it would have never reached otherwise.”
You had no answer to that, and you hoped whichever mirror Neteyam held to your soul didn’t lead to so much darkness it would overtake you and the people you loved, the people you never wanted to hurt. 
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The celebrations were as beautiful as they always were, surrounded by music and cheering, dancing and good food, love and friendship. You were happy if not a little nervous to spend this time with your soon-to-be in-laws, and that happiness quickly vanished as you realised you were to be joined by the Sullys. 
Aonung had a small smile on his face as he spotted you, and you tried your best to focus on him and not behind him, at the man staring at you with such intensity it was making you acutely aware of your own heartbeat, that now sounded painfully in your ears and against your eardrums. The whole world drowned around you, as it always seemed to when his presence was near yours, and Tsireya had to shake you, in order to bring attention to herself and back to the present, back to them. 
“Sister, are you alright?
“Yes, Tsireya. I am fine, sorry. I got lost in my thoughts.” 
She laughed a little at you, but then took your hand and guided you to the strangers who were eyeing curiously. 
“Sister, these are the Sullys. My dad invited them for the celebrations, as it is their first return of the tulkun. This is Jakesulli, the former Olo’eyktan of the Omatikaya and Toruk Makto, Neytiri, the former Tsakarem of the Omatikaya, and their children, Neteyam, Kiri, Lo’ak and Tuk.” 
You tried your best to force a natural smile out. 
“It’s nice to meet you. I have heard a lot about you all, about some of you more than the others.” You eyed Tsireya playfully and your eyes briefly moved towards Lo’ak, who you knew Tsireya took a liking to. The entire family laughed at your joke, and at Tsireya and Lo’ak’s bashful and embarrassed looks. You felt a small twinge of jealousy for Tsireya, who was able to freely choose her mate, to freely love a Sully without contention or judgement, or pressure, and was obviously loved the same in return, as the Sully looked at her like the sun rose in her eyes. You didn’t know what that felt like, at least not until you met Neteyam, a man who you couldn’t have, a man who you couldn’t keep your thoughts from gravitating towards, a man who was eyeing you like he was undressing you with his gaze alone. You swallowed harshly, trying to contend with his presence and the wetness gathering in your beaded loincloth.
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After dinner, the adults dismissed you, knowing deep down you all would much rather go and enjoy your time with the rest of the Metkayina youth, who knew how to celebrate, especially on nights like this. You were young adults now, and young adults got to go off on their own, and got to have their own kind of parties that the adults could no longer prohibit you from enjoying. That’s where you were headed. It was wild, and it was hot. It was everything you were afraid of growing up, and everything you craved now, more so by the day, it seemed. Mates and prospective mates were dancing sensually with each other, cups filled with alcohol made of the plants growing in the mangrove jungles deep within the island and spilling on and around them with each undulation of their bodies. You loved it, loved your traditions that were unique within the Na’vi people, that no other clan knew about or experienced quite the same way. You smiled as Tsireya handed you a cup and watched as Rot’xo poured some of the drink into everyone’s cup, and you all signalled an I See You to each other before taking a small sip, enjoying the way the warm liquid left burning traces as it made its way down your throat. 
You watched as the rest of the your companions did the same, and chuckled a little at the way Kiri and Lo’ak and Tsireya reacted to the drink, clearly their first time trying something like this. 
“That’s all you get, youngsters. I don’t want to have to drag any of you back home in a couple of hours and have to face the wrath of either Olo’eyktan.” You heard Aonung say, as he removed the jug from Rot’xo’s hands and kept it for himself. “Now go, enjoy yourselves. Show the forest people how we, Metkayina, do things.” 
There it was again, that mischievous glint in his eyes, and you pondered how will the alcohol affect your mate-to-be this time. It was always a surprise, ranging from kind and sweet and loving, to aloof and despondent, to angry and wanting to pick fights with whomever was unfortunate enough to be close by. He took your hand and pulled on it gently, willing you away, away from sight, away from the others. You followed him, unable to stop yourself form glancing behind you one last time, and wishing it was someone else doing it instead. When your eyes met Neteyam’s, you knew he felt the same, and you tried to remove the image of the hurt flashing across his face from your memory, knowing he wasn’t yours to care for, and you weren’t his to take away. 
You and Aonung sat down on the warm, golden sand that now glowed with bioluminescent plankton whenever the water hit it, and you felt your body relax at the calming, rhythmic sound of the waves that cleared your mind and soul of the anguish that seemed to constantly plague it recently. A constant tug of war lived within you, between what you wanted, what you needed, and what you felt was the right thing to do. You didn’t know which was going to win, but you knew it was a lose-lose situation regardless. You either lost your innocence, and the trust of the people you loved, or yourself. You didn’t know which was worse. 
The Metkayina young man poured more alcohol in your cup and you welcomed it, welcome the opportunity for your mind to quiet, no matter how that was accomplished. You felt the alcohol going to your head quickly, making a mess of your thoughts and lifting your spirits. You and Aonung stayed like this, talking comfortably, just like you used to do when you were younger, and you felt grateful for the memories, and grateful that the drunk Aonung you got was this, the nice and charming version of himself you have always loved, you have always hoped for. 
“Remember when we were fifteen and I convinced you to sneak out and go outside of the reef to Three Brothers Rocks? It took forever for me to talk you into it, but I think you were happy once we arrived and you found pebbles and shells you never could on the beach. I remember looking at you admiring them, telling me how beautiful they are, and all I could think of is how beautiful you were.” 
You smiled at his words, and how slurred they were the drunker he got, and giggled when he let out a small hiccup. 
“You’re just saying that because you’re drunk.”
“Maybe, but I don’t think so. You’re still so beautiful, even more beautiful. M-more beautiful… every day.” 
Your back was laying on his chest and a warm feeling cloaked you as you lowered your head on him and looked up at the stars. Maybe you could do this. Maybe you could forget about Neteyam and allow yourself to remember what it was like to love this man you’ve known all your life, the man you may not be in love with, but you could be one day, if he continued speaking to you the way he was, the way you’ve dreamt about all your life. 
He started peppering kisses down your throat, sucking on your soft skin and licking where you could feel he left marks. Heat pooled in between your legs as he did, and so did the hatred in your soul when the only face that came to mind was not the one currently on you, and you pulled yourself away from him, trying to put some distance in between your bodies and some thought back into your head. 
“Not now, Aonung. Please. We’re so close to the Iknimaya.”
“Exactly, we’re so close. Why wait anymore? I want you. I need you, I have for so long, I need to feel your body on me, around me. Nobody has to know.” 
“Except we will know. I will know. If I am to be part of your family, to be your mate, I want to do this right. You’re drunk, very drunk, and I’m getting there, and this isn’t the way to do it, not the way I want to remember this moment for the rest of my life.” 
He scoffed and pulled you by your queue back on his chest and you yelped as the action sent pain through your entire body. 
“Can you just lighten up for once in your life? You have always been such a fucking killjoy. Do you think your friends aren’t fucking their mates to be? Do you think they’re all prudes like you, waiting and waiting until you’re good enough to pass your Iknimaya?”
The pain of his actions and his words overtook your entire existence, warped itself around you until there was nothing left of you but its echoes ringing in you and out of you, in the form of sobs and cries you wish you could drown in. 
“Let me go.” 
You got up and forcefully removed your queue from his grasp, trying to ignore how badly the pain combined with the alcohol was making your head spin, and started walking away. You didn’t get very far, as he ran in front of you and put his body in between you and your path, and you hissed loudly at him, the sadness blossoming into anger so powerful, you have never felt it before in your life. 
“I’m sorry, alright? That came out wrong. Just… let’s not let this ruin this beautiful evening. I feel like I’m just getting you back, you can’t leave me.” 
“Get away from me, Aonung.” 
You watched in your hazed state as Aonung’s body twirled like an underwater current, and you struggled to understand what was happening, until a deep voice filled your ears and your senses, the way it always did, the way it always will. 
“You heard what she said. Leave her alone.” 
Neteyam’s navy blue body was barely visible in the dark of night, but his eyes gleamed with fury and intensity and so did his freckles, and it was enough to know that he was furious, and he was ready to fight. 
Aonung could barely stand up straight, but laughed mockingly in Neteyam’s direction. 
“Oh, the tree hugger is coming to the rescue. She’s my mate, she doesn’t need saving from you. Isn’t that right, yawne? Tell him you’re fine, we’re just playing around.” 
As he reached his hand over to grab you, you flinched and put even more distance in between you, getting so close to Neteyam that you felt the warmth of his body on yours, making you feel safe again. 
“Come back here, you -“ 
One finger is all it took, one finger against Aonung’s chest for him to be pushed back to his place, back away from you. 
“Back off. Now.” 
Neteyam’s voice was menacing, and you knew Aonung felt it too, as a quick look of fear flashed in his eyes and he stayed put, unable or unwilling to push the Omatikaya, who you both knew would win this fight by a landslide. 
“Smart choice.” 
His warm hand found your lower back and you shivered at the contact. “Let’s go, I’ll take you home.” 
There were no words as you walked on the beach that was still beaming with life and laughter, no words that could ever describe the feelings you felt inside, each of them stronger than the other, all of them threatening to overtake you. You saw the village come into view and knew you couldn’t bear it, couldn’t bear the thought of your tent where he could find you, where even if he didn’t, you would be all alone again. 
“I don’t want to go home. I want to go to the beach.” 
The tears were rolling down your cheeks mercilessly and Neteyam’s eyes softened as he nodded and motioned for you to lead the way. You were grateful for his presence and his silence, grateful for how he was barely touching you so as to not make you more uncomfortable or remind you of the man you left behind, grateful that he knew exactly what to do and what to say, grateful that he was everything Aonung wasn’t and nothing that he was. 
You were dizzy still as you arrived to your beach and dizzier still as you fell on your ass unceremoniously. The amber of Neteyam’s eyes reminded you of the liquid the brought you here, that made you this way, and you knew you couldn’t look into them for too long without feeling nauseated. 
He sat besides you, but left space in between you, which you appreciated. 
“I’m sorry this happened. Are you alright?” 
You laughed bitterly, unable to help yourself. 
“Am I alright? Well, let’s see. I have been treated like dirt for years by the guy I thought I loved and that I am meant to give myself to forever, then I met a guy that makes my entire body convulse the second he comes close to me, I allow him to do things to me only my mate should ever be able to do, and I love it, and I can only think about more, about his words and the way I only feel the way I feel when I’m with him…” you took a deep breath and sighed, allowing every dark thought and secret, everything you’ve kept shackled within you come to light. 
“Then the first guy comes and apologises, and says all the right words, which makes me feel even worse, makes me hate myself and hate everything around me, hate that I’ve allowed two men to drive me to this point, but still, I think that I should try. I should try to do this, be the good girl I’ve always been, keep my promise and my word to him and his family, to the clan. And then this happens.” 
“So no. I am not alright. I’m so far from alright, alright isn’t even on the same planet as me.” 
“I am sorry. I’m sorry I made your life harder than it needed to be. But I want you, I’ve wanted you since the moment I laid my eyes on you. I’ve watched you in the clan. You’re always kind, and helpful. You always have a smile on your face, a real, authentic smile. You’re a good person, and you deserve better. I did what I did because I want you to be mine. I thought you should know there are options out there. That you don’t need to confine yourself to someone just because you feel like you have to, that it’s expected of you. I know all about the pressures of expectations, and while I'm forced to shoulder them, I don’t want you to have to.” 
Your breath caught in your throat and there was nothing to say in regards to the power with which this man controlled every fibre of your being, the pull that his voice and his words had on you. He so quickly managed to become the sun your soul orbited around. You felt your body slowly inching closer to his, even as whatever little conscious mind you still had available was screaming for you to stop, that this was wrong and two wrongs don’t make a right. It took everything out of you, but you eventually listened. 
“I need to go. I wanted to come here, I wanted you to take me here, but I can’t be around you. Not anymore. Aonung is an asshole, and I will deal with him tomorrow, but what we did was wrong. What I did was wrong. I should have broken up with him, I should have told him that it’s over, that he’s treated me wrong one too many times. But I didn’t. And regardless what he’s done, I’m no better, not if I do this again. Once is a mistake, twice is a choice. I’m going home.” 
Neteyam sighed and you saw there was hurt in his eyes, on his face. He didn’t say anything to you as you left him and whatever it was you had behind. 
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You needed to clear your head, clear the hurt and drunk thoughts swirling in your mind. You knew of a secluded spot to which Aonung used to take you when you were younger, that you thought would be perfect to wash this night away from your body and hopefully forget it ever happened. You pushed through the tall greenery surrounding you in order to reach it and stopped in your tracks when sounds of panted breaths and mixed moans filled your ears. 
“Aonung, fuck. Right there!” 
“You feel so good, baby. So good.” 
You ran as fast as your feet could carry you, praying and hoping they didn’t hear you, and when you knew you were far enough, you stopped and curled your body forwards as you threw up on the ground in front of you, groaning as the alcohol tasted much worse on your tongue coming out than it did going in. You were having trouble breathing as this night, that was horrible to begin with, was now bordering on unbearable, as the lewd sounds floated in every corner of your mind, powering the next round of sickness that felt like it was being expelled from deeper within you than just your stomach, from the unsightly parts of your soul. 
He was fucking another girl. You told him no, you told him you wanted to wait, and so he fucked another girl. Was this the first girl? The only girl? The first time? The only time? 
So many questions, so few answers, so little time to think, so much grief to swallow. So much anger, and vindication, so much thirst for revenge, a thirst that you’ve never felt before, that consumed you until there was nothing left but it. You spent so much time feeling horrible about yourself, about what you did. And you didn’t even do the thing you wanted to do, the thing you were desperate to do. But now, there was no hesitation in you anymore as you ran towards the beach that you hoped Neteyam was still on, relief so powerful a drug it cleared your senses and focused them on the man you wanted, that you had to turn away, that you now got to have, that you hoped would claim you, would show you everything Aonung never could. 
He was there. Of course he was. His back was to you, to the forest, and he was looking at the beach, looking at how the waves crashed into the sand, and you couldn’t help take a second to admire him, admire his beauty and poise, admire his strength and character, admire the way he was everything you weren’t, everything you wished you could be. You wanted him to show you, and to teach you, you wanted him to help you see there’s more to this world than what you’ve known, there’s more to this life than what you’ve been confined to feel. And you knew he could, you knew he would. All you had to do was ask. 
“Neteyam. I’m here to beg you to fuck me.” 
three parts it is, besties x
taglist (thank you ily xoxo) : @strawberryclouds22 @yeosxxx @bewbz2110 @loaksbaby @taleiak @im-in-a-pansexual-panik @littlexscarletxwitch
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imaginesmai · 7 months
Text
Something new - Azriel
Another kinktober fic! I've seen this trope SO MUCH lately, I couldn't help myself.
Plot: Azriel proposes something new, and even if you have doubts, you're all in.
Warnings: just porn , facesitting, shadowplay.
Azriel is looking at you with a raised brow, a smug smile on his face. He’s silently daring you to bring up another argument, only so he can dismantle it as easily as the rest of them.
It’s hard enough to deny his petition. Not only it’s unusual for him to ask anything, to be comfortable enough around you to talk about sexual fantasies and desires. It is hard because he is completely naked. You can spend hours staring at his sculped chest, muscles hard and wide, covered in tattoos.
And you don’t even want to drag your eyes lower, where his cock is standing tall, demanding your attention.
Usually, you would be more than happy to give it all the attention you have. But Azriel has stopped you moments ago and proposed something different. Something you have never tried, although it has crossed your mind sometimes. Multiple times, actually.
“I will be fine” he assures you for the sixth time that evening. “I promise, darling. I’m a trained warrior, I push my body each day to the limit in the ring with Cassian. If I can take down Illyrian warriors, I can hold your weight”
“Or not” you rebate. “You can’t compare sparing to Cassian to me sitting on your face”
“Certainly not, I’m sure it will be far more pleasant”
Sex with Azriel is never monotonous, he makes sure of it. Even if the shadowsinger is an introvert and quiet on the outside, inside the bedroom he shows you a different part of him. You are used to playing games, some of them involving his shadows, ropes, and even wax.
You have enjoyed each and every of them, and you know you will enjoy what he is proposing even more. But still, you are doubtful about it.
“I could hurt you without meaning to. And what if you can’t breathe? How am I supposed to notice?” you repeat the questions, and he just blinks unamused. “We don’t know if it’s safe. Maybe someone has died and no one has reported it. Death by asphyxiation, under mysterious circumstances. Maybe their partner was shoving their – “
“What better way to die than between your legs?” Azriel cuts you off with a deep, loud chuckle. Tired of the banter, he grabs your hand and pushes you forward. “My shadows will make sure I live to do this again, don’t worry. Now let me have my dessert”
Any other time, you hope, you would have been more hesitant. But you have been both naked for a long time now, lazily making out and grinding against each other in bed. There are purple spots all over your neck and chest, where Azriel has been buried minutes ago. And your nails are printed all over his back and ass.
Before you can act on your newest fantasy, Azriel brings you close. He presses his lips against yours, as he has done already a thousand times that night.
They are swollen and soft, his hand holding the back of your head to keep you close. It brushes gently your hair, easing your worries away. His tongue traces the edge of yours, as if he hasn’t almost shoved it down your throat an hour ago.
Azriel eases the both of you until you are laying on his chest, wings sprawled under him. All it takes is for your sneaky fingers tracing the membrane of his left one for him to break the kiss.
His left hand gives you a playful smack on your ass and pushes you forward.
“Come on, Y/N” he growls, his shadows pushing you forward too.
“Let me know if it becomes too much” you remind him as you get to your knees.
“Sure”
“And if I’m too heavy, please don’t die” you place your hands on the headboard.
“I won’t die, I promise”
“If you feel like you can’t breathe, you touch my – “
“Get here”
You are still hesitant, hovering over his face with your knees at either side of his head. But Azriel, who has quite patient, doesn’t let you finish. He grips the top of your thighs and pulls down, his shadows fixing your hands on the headboard so you can’t pull yourself up.
And damn.
Any coherent thought leaves your head as he licks a long strip through your soaked folds, parting them without any care. You suck a breath when he reaches your opening and doesn’t stop for a second before digging in.
His shadows are the only thing cold on your body as you almost melt against his face, not caring anymore about asphyxiation or crushing him. Azriel is griping you so hard that there will be purple fingerprints on your legs the next day. And if the shadows holding you in place and his mouth devouring you isn’t enough, one of his hands gropes a handful of your ass and pulls you closer to him.
“You’re so sweet” Azriel mumbles from under you, his teeth grazing your clip and taking a deep moan out of you. “Coul be here all day”
“Az”
“My sweet pussy”
He isn’t possessive, at least not when you are public. Behind closed doors, he owns your body and soul. Your grip on the headboard almost flatters when he sucks hard on your clit, taking the small button between his lips, brushing his tongue underneath.
All you can smell is him, his arousal, and all you can hear is him lapping your juices. You don’t have to look back to know there’s a hand wrapped around his cock, a hand that isn’t his entirely. His shadows must have touched a sensitive spot, because his body is bucking up and you almost fall to the side, if it wasn’t for his hands holding you in place.
You try to get one hand free. Maybe to pull at his hair, to cover your mouth. Azriel doesn’t let you.
“Let me – I need a hand” you moan again when he starts leaving kisses from your clit to your opening, covering any reachable spot. “Azriel, let me go”
“No”
His voice resonates in your cunt and that is almost enough to bring you close to the edge. Only his presence would be enough, the presence of an Illyrian male that falls on his knees in front of you, that is completely yours.
Azriel knows your body and knows you’re close, so instead of letting go of any of your hands, he speeds up. All you feel are his teeth, his lips and his tongue on your pussy, on your folds, on your clit. He rounds the sensitive spot as the shadows rip a moan out of him, and the next second he has his tongue in you, his nose brushing your clit.
Like a madman who hasn’t eaten in days, he devours you whole. You are almost sure he has stopped breathing a while ago, but before you can make sure he’s fine, you’re cumming.
Without your hand to cover your mouth, anyone within hearing range hears you breaking down screaming his name as you cum on his face. He rides through your orgasm without even changing the pace, and black dots appear on your line of sight.
“Az, I can’t – Azriel, stop –“
He doesn’t, and before you know it, your tights are trapping his head between your legs and you’re having the best orgasm of your life. He continues licking any juice that leaves your body, alternating between eating you out and assaulting your clit.
The shadows let go when there’s nothing left in you to give, and Azriel has barely time to catch you as you fall to the side, completely spent.
He manages to pull you back to him, and when you open your eyes again, you’re met with his hazel ones looking down at you with only love and adoration. His lips and chin are shinning with your juices, and without breaking eye contact, he licks them clean.
It’s certainly enough to make you notice the shadows around his shaft.
“I’m alive” Azriel smirked. “Are you?”
“That was the best orgasm of my life”
Your confession drags an ego boost out of him, that you feel through the bond. You smile when his hand finds your cheek and caress it loving. If you asked, you are sure he would turn around and try to sleep with a painful boner. And if you asked, he would totally use his shadows to keep you up and go for a second round.
Before he can propose any of them, you prop up on your elbow and drag your nails down his chest.
They follow the pattern of his tattoos, and he watches you with a raised eyebrow. His expression quickly changes when your fingers find his nipple, your thumb flickering it gently.
“Return the favor?” you propose, with a knowing smile.
The next thing you know, Azriel’s lips are once more on you and his cock pressed against your stomach.
You’re in for a long night.
Want to read more? Check out my side blog @imaginesmaimasterlists, where I keep all the masterlists! Feedback is always appreciated
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soulrph · 2 years
Text
𝐅𝐀𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐈𝐀𝐋/𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐍𝐈𝐂 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐒.
as requested by a very wonderful, very dear, very lovely friend! i hope you all enjoy using these as much as i enjoyed writing them! i honestly found these so nice and therapeutic to write tho like oml i cannot get over it! DO NOT ADD TO THIS LIST PLEASE! 
“ oh, i knew you could do it! i’m so proud of you! “
“ i’m thinking of doing a movie/game night at my place, if you wanna join in? “
“ how many mugs of coffee have you had today?! that’s enough, now, you go take a nap before you buzz through the ceiling! “
“ i’ll send you the recipe, if you like! but, in the same breath, you should know that i really don’t mind continuing to cook this for you; it’s no trouble at all, really! “
“ are you sure there isn’t anything i can do to help you in the kitchen? “
“ come on in! take a seat! i’ll fix you up a plate, there’s more than enough to go around! “
“ why don’t you spend the night here? really, it’s no trouble to fix up the guest room, and we have plenty of spare pajamas and toiletries if that’s what’s bothering you! “
“ look, i get the whole lone wolf thing, trust me, i do. but... you do understand that there’ll always be a place here for you, don’t you? that door is always open to you, no matter what. that’s a promise. “
“ why don’t i make you a cup of tea, and you can tell me all about it? “
“ [NAME]? hey, hey, hey, what’s the matter? are you okay? what’s wrong? oh, come here... “
“ jeez, i don’t even wanna know how you got that battle wound there; sit down and let me fix it up, won’t you? “
“ hey, stranger! it’s been a minute, huh? what’ve you been up to? how have you been? hell, where have you been? “
“ now, now, don’t be silly; put that wallet away. i invited you out for dinner, so i’ll pay the bill, right? you can get the next one! “
“ hey, you didn’t order anything! don’t worry about it, huh? here, take half my sandwich; i can never finish the damn thing, anyway, you’re really doing me the favor! and there’s coffee in that flask, so help yourself to that, too! i’ve been trying to cut back, anyhow. “
“ hey, i know it’s really late, but... i didn’t know who else to call. “
“ everything’s gonna be okay, i promise. just tell me where you are, okay? and i’ll come and get you right this second. “
“ well, we have to celebrate your good news! what’s your favorite dinner? oh, and cake! we can’t have a decent celebration without cake, right? “
“ hey, hey, it’s okay, relax. i’m not about to nag you for skipping out on curfew, alright? have you eaten anything? because i saved you a plate, and it’s in the oven if you want it. “
“ now, now, none of that self-hate talk! we all have bad days, right? we all mess up sometimes and make silly mistakes. but it doesn’t matter at the end of the day; it just makes the good days all the better! “
“ guess who has an extra ticket for the concert this weekend! wanna come with me? they’re practically front row! “
“ you’re still coming over for dinner tonight, right? “
“ hey! what are your plans for the holidays? because, if you didn’t have any, i have an offer for you! or an open invitation! “
“ did you do something different with your hair? it looks amazing! “
“ oh my god, where have you been?! i was so worried about you! are you okay? did you get hurt?! “
“ we should go out tonight! come on, you can ransack my wardrobe if you like! i have a friend who’s the bouncer at that new night club, they can get us in for free! “
“ i made you some breakfast, if you’re hungry? it’s your favorite! unless you’ve got a new favorite, in which case... “
“ don’t forget to take an umbrella! “
“ let me know when you get there so i know you’re safe, okay? “
“ i watched that show you recommended last week! it was so good! can you believe that season finale, though? “
“ rough night, huh? i know that feeling. here, help yourself; the coffee is fresh, and the waffles are pretty damn good today, if i do say so myself! “
“ i knew you’d forget yours, so i brought extra. go ahead, help yourself! “
“ you’re welcome to stay for as long as you like. what’s mine is yours, okay? you don’t need to ask permission, just take whatever you want. “
“ you should get some sleep, okay? my room is just down the hall if you need anything. “
“ you don’t need to be so polite around here, you know! help yourself; i don’t bite! “
“ hey now, never apologize for feeling emotions, okay? humans are meant to feel all this stuff, no matter how good or bad the feelings are. besides; shoulders are built to be cried on! “
“ you should keep that sweater! it looks much better on you than it does on me; brings out your eyes! “
“ i never realized you could cook! the apron suits you very nicely! “
“ if you don’t have any plans this weekend, we should do something together! “
“ remember, if you want to leave early, just call me and i’ll come get you, okay? “
“ would you come on in inside out of that rain?! you’ll catch your death! “
“ don’t worry about it, okay? no apologies necessary; just breathe, everything’s good. “
“ it’s okay! no use crying over spilt milk, am i right? fetch me that mop and i’ll clean it up; you should find a clean shirt in the third drawer in my room, too! “
“ here, grab a plate; i made your favorite, and there’s more than enough for you to have seconds and take home a tonne of leftovers, too! “
“ would you mind setting the table for me while i finish up in the kitchen? “
“ you want some hot cocoa before you go to bed? i’m more than happy to have one with you; not to praise myself or anything, but my hot cocoa is the best in town! “
“ you did it! oh, congratulations! quick, i’m gonna fetch the sparkling cider, and then i’ll book a table somewhere fancy; we’re going to celebrate in style! “
“ oh god, you’re burning up a fever, you poor thing! here, lie down, let’s get you some water and a nice cool cloth, huh? “
“ how are you feeling? i thought you might be hungry, so i made some tea and toast. “
“ i thought i might find you out here... this must be your favorite spot, huh? it’s nice! “
“ how are you? and be real with me, now; i can tell when you’re not being honest with me. you’ve got a tell. “
“ figured you might be needing an extra blanket in this weather. you mind if i sit with you for a while? “
“ let’s go for a walk, huh? i know this place that does the best coffee you’ll ever have! “
“ i can’t believe you’ve never seen this movie before! we have to fix this immediately; you get the popcorn, i’ll order in the pizza and get the tv set up. “
“ wow... that pun was so awful, it actually became good again. nicely done! “
“ i know you have that meeting today, so i thought i’d come wish you luck. and give you my lucky socks! “
“ hey! i hope you’re hungry, i spared you some waffles and pancakes from breakfast this morning! “
“ maybe you’re not ready to talk just now. but i want you to know that, whenever you are, my door is always open to you. understand? “
“ i’m not here to say i told you so, don’t worry. i’m not that cruel. i’m just here to comfort my friend. “
“ you’re here so often, i figured it was about time you had your very own mug! “
“ do you mind if i put you down as my emergency contact? “
“ you should move in with me! i have a spare room, the rent is cheap, it’s closer to work... i mean, only if you want to, but i’m very much in favor of this! “
“ i know that things haven’t been easy for you lately, so... i was thinking, maybe we could plan a little vacation together? “
“ pull the car over, alright? you can get some sleep in the back seat, and i’ll take over the driving. “
“ woah, woah, woah... slow it down a few miles, huh? what’s going on? where’s the fire? “
“ do you want a hug? i give some really good hugs; i nearly got voted the best hug-giver in the continent, once! come on, you know you want to! “
“ hey! so i’m after having a really crappy day. you wanna get take-out and watch a movie at my place tonight? “
“ i remember you saying you didn’t like this ingredient last time, so i fixed you up something else. “
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onigiriico · 9 months
Text
Kazui audio drama (t2) - English TL
[ links: Spotify / Youtube ]
I cannot believe my hs philosophy class came in handy as I was translating this. Thanks Milgram your references never fail to astound me
Aaanyways you know how it is,, feel free to send an ask or hit me up on Twitter if you’ve got any questions or other feedback re: this translation etc 💪 (<- sincerely hoping that Twitter DMs still work these days)
⬇️ translation under the cut ⬇️
(door opens)
E: I’ve kept you waiting, Kazui.
K: It’s been a while, Warden-kun.
E: Yeah… It has been.
K: Things have gotten pretty tough inside the prison, but… well, you’ve probably heard all about that from the others already, haven’t you?
E: Yeah… I heard that you protected other prisoners from Kotoko. I owe you my thanks.
K: That much is only natural. However… she really is strong, isn’t she? I mean, I’ve experienced some fights myself, but [going up against] a woman like her was a first.
E: Hm… Is she strong enough that even you can’t stop her from doing harm?
K: Well, in cases like this, it’s generally the heavier person who ends up winning. After all, if she really does have proper killing intent, I can’t afford to let her injure anyone. It’s difficult, isn’t it.
E: Is that so…
K: I was afraid that it’d come to this from the very beginning. There’s a lot of young kids here, too. It’d be hard for anyone to keep a decent mentality in a situation like this.
E: …You’re pretty rational.
K: I wonder. Maybe it’s because I’m used to violence. Even so… I couldn’t make it for Shiina-chan. I feel responsible for [what happened to] her.
E: …
K: Well, rest assured, though. As long as I can move, I’ll be protecting [the others]. After all, it’s pretty much just me who can fight her on equal terms.
E: Mikoto, too.
K: Ah… yeah. Like back when he went out of control, right? I can’t quite read him, though… If both of them were to attack us, it’s possible that we’d suffer a total defeat. 
E: A total defeat…?
K: If that happens, this prison game would probably come to an end as well. All of that depends on your judgment, right, Warden-kun? Who will be forgiven by you and who won’t be…
E: What are you trying to say?
K: If at all possible, I would like you to choose a method that will not get any more people hurt. That’s what I’m saying.
E: So you’re telling me to forgive you?
K: (laughs) Oi, oi…! Don’t look at me like that.
E: I’m the Warden. If I forgive you, I forgive you. If I don’t, I don’t. There’s no other factors to it.
K: (sighs) Wouldn’t it be okay? I mean, this situation with prisoners being hurt wasn’t what you wanted either, was it?
E: …
K: Just pretend that you’re looking at our sins, and make your judgment with the protection of the prisoners in mind. After all, nobody can read your mind – so that much craftiness would be fine, don’t you think?
E: Hmph. That’s a very “you” kind of pretentious solution.
K: It’s the most natural conclusion, isn’t it? Do you think it’s a sin to lie in order to protect people?
E: That would be Kant.
K: Kant?
E: A philosopher who stated that lying is inherently a sin, no matter the circumstances.
K: Huh…
E: Apparently, even if your friend is being chased by a murderer and the murderer asks you about their whereabouts, you shouldn’t lie, according to Kant.
K: That’s ridiculous. If you can save someone by telling a lie, that’s what you should do.
E: However… You killed someone with your lies, didn’t you?
K: … Ah… You forgave me, didn’t you? Aren’t you being especially strict towards me?
E: Am I?
K: Mmh, it’s obvious. You said you would figure out my murder by watching the footage of my mind. Is this the result of that?
E: You were unfaithful, right? That’s stupid.
K: Hmm…
E: The reason I forgave you was because I was lacking details. I still don’t understand your true feelings or how things got to that point, either.
K: I see.
E: It was extremely hard to understand. Even with all of that poetry, though, your self-absorbed nature was more than obvious.
K: Ohh my… That’s quite the sweeping generalization, even though you forgave me.
E: It’s a personal dislike of mine. People who act based on their sexual urges like that, that is.
K: It’s personal?
E: Yeah. That’s right.
K: That’s strange. I did think that, despite being neutral as a Warden, you had some things you dislike, but…
E: …
K: Isn’t it unusual to openly reveal a personal dislike as a personal dislike?
E: You’re splitting hairs.
K: Seems like you really disliked my crime… I get it! Maybe it was because you’re so young, which is to say… …
E: Hah? Stop staring at me so openly. It’s disgusting.
K: …
E: …! (punches him)
(clattering)
E: (sighs) Now I feel better.
K: — Ow…! What are you doing all of a sudden…?!
E: It was an instinctive reaction. Don’t take it personally.
K: Would you stop just punching me in the face without hesitation? … (sighs) Anyways… that’s how it is, huh? That’s how it is…?
E: Hah?
K: I didn’t even consider this a possibility… Personal impressions sure can be scary.
E: If you say any more things than this that I don’t get, I’m hitting you again.
K: Geez, cut out the hysterics… Hmm, if it’s like this, that explains some things, though. I don’t have kids, but I’ve heard that this is what it’s like.
E: Hey. Stop blabbering on while looking like you know it all. It’s obnoxious.
K: Hahaha! But you know what? You’re wrong.
E: …? What are you talking about?
K: You’re wrong.
E: …
K: You said I was unfaithful – in other words, that I cheated or committed adultery of some kind.
E: Yeah. That’s what I deduced from your footage.
K: It’s not true. It didn’t even turn into infidelity. It didn’t turn into anything like that. For me… In my case, you see.
E: … You’re married… You’re a married man, aren’t you?
K: Hm? Yeah, that’s right. Oh, right, I never told you, did I?
E: You’ve taken off your ring.
K: … Right… I did take it off, huh. Right…
E: Yeah.
K: Mh. … I do carry it with me, though. See? – I was forgiven. My feelings were validated. So… maybe that means that I don’t have to do this anymore? Thanks to that, I was feeling better when the second trial started… I really do feel sorry about that. Towards my wife.
E: If that ring is a symbol of punishment to you… There really is nothing that could possibly be more cruel towards her.
K: Mmh.
E: Marriage is something that both partners want equally, isn’t it? It’s something you can’t do if only one person wants it. Deciding to treat it as a punishment all on your own… You’re making a mockery out of it.
K: I really am. Ah… She must have thought so as well. My wife, that is.
E: I’ve said this before: You’re a liar. Those lies have killed a person.
K: (sighs)
E: I forgave you. While I wasn’t sure yet, I thought that it didn’t seem like you killed her directly, and with all sorts of things taken into consideration, I judged that your murder was not a sin. However. That doesn’t mean that I’m praising your nature as a liar.
K: Yeah. I believe you’re right about that.
E: In short – between love and hate, [I would say] I hate you. Remember that.
K: … I get that.
E: Huh?
K: I despise myself for lying, too. Being a liar, you see – it’s painful.
E: Heh. Then just–
K: So I’ve tried to change! I’ve tried to change. I have tried to stop lying to myself and others!
E: …
K: I’ve confided in others. I’ve tried to be myself! I’ve tried to just be the way I was born!
E: …Hey, Kazui–
K: It’s not my lies that killed her. She’s dead because I stopped lying to her! If I had just kept lying- She wouldn’t have died…!
E: Kazui…
K: I can’t live unless I lie. That’s how I was born… I’m pathetic, aren’t I?
E: (sighs) I really can’t seem to understand you.
K: …
E: Just when I thought you weren’t letting out any of your true feelings and cleverly hiding your actual emotions… Now here you are, drowning in self-loathing like this.
K: (weak laugh) An old man in unstable condition… that’s not something you’d wanna see, is it. Sorry about that.
E: You know, about Kant…
K: Ah, the one who said you shouldn’t lie even if your friend might get killed.
E: From his point of view, if your friend dies because you didn’t lie, there’s no causal connection between the two… or so I’ve heard.
K: I don’t think so, though…
E: Even if you don’t lie, your friend might survive. And if you do lie, your friend might end up dying on a different occasion. That’s the reason why you’re supposed to always tell the truth.
K: …That’s convincing.
E: It’s not really.
K: Yeah, it’s not.
E: It may not be, but… I thought that for someone who has failed in their attempts to be honest, it might be a [saving] grace so they won’t end up doubting honesty in its entirety.
K: …
E: I still don’t know what happened, but… isn’t it okay to be proud that you made an effort to be honest in the first place?
K: … You’re so kind all of a sudden.
E: I just said what I was thinking. And besides – I forgave you. I made it as if your sin wasn’t a sin at all. And yet, you don’t seem the slightest bit relieved.
K: I know right.
E: Everyone else seems more or less liberated by the fact that they were forgiven.
K: That’s right.
E: Just from that… I understand that having your feelings approved of by someone else can have a major impact on the development of one’s personality.
K: …
E: However… You have not forgiven yourself. That’s why you can’t change.
K: …
E: Alternatively, even if your lying self was forgiven… it would still do nothing to help you.
K: …Aah, you really are impressive. You think so much.
E: I am watching over ten troublesome prisoners, after all. Even if I don’t want to, I’m being relied on.
K: I haven’t forgiven myself… even if my lies are forgiven, it won’t resonate [with me]. It might just be both of these. All the lies I’ve told are tying me down. Ever since I was little, I’ve never truly opened myself to anyone. But in the end, people can’t be saved if they don’t [open up]. And by now, it’s gotten to a point where I can’t do it by myself anymore…
(machinery whirrs, bell rings)
K: I did think Milgram would be able to force its way past that, though.
E: Is that an attempt at provocation?
K: You didn’t manage to reach my sin.
E: …
K: Even though I want you to… Milgram isn’t so great after all, is it?
E: …Heh. Don’t push yourself too hard, after all that whining from earlier.
K: Ha. [This is] the wish of a liar who’s reached a dead end – come and figure out my lies, Milgram. And, Es… please, free me from these lies.
E: Yeah. Leave it to me. – Prisoner no.7, Kazui. Sing your sins.
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jenflirts · 5 months
Text
mending my broken heart
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pairing: tara carpenter x fem!reader
theme: angst :)
summary: maybe you're the one...
warning: profanities, grammar, no ghostface and cheating
a/n: based on my feelings :) | enjoy.
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Falling for someone isn’t for weak people,
Nor being attached,
Nor loving someone.
These are the feelings that will make you mentally and physically weak, just because you would do everything just to have them, just to give them all your attention, love, and hell, even your soul, but why isn’t it for the weak? Well, only emotionally controlled people can survive these challenges. These are the obstacles that we face when we’re in love and this makes us vulnerable.
We’ve always thought that if a partner loves or falls for you it means they’ve accepted your flaws, insecurities, clinginess, stupidity, good days and bad ones, but sometimes don’t you think that they accepted that because they needed too? Out of pity? Or sometimes just to play you cause they’re just bored. I’ve always thought about falling in love and being vulnerable to a person, but then my overthinking mind stops me from doing so.
Yeah, taking from my perspective—a person that’s been played and got attached too many times just because they showed affection—I’ve been hurt so much that I don’t even count how many times that they scarred my heart and still gave them another chance. I did everything I could just not to fall for someone, but I just can’t stop myself ‘cause it feels like an addiction I cannot control. I keep thinking about the past relationships I had and even thought about the times that I let my heart heal and mend it by myself and yet, I keep longing for the wrong people and their fucked up affections.
And then there’s Tara, the girl that makes me feel special, the person that let me believe that love is worth waiting for, and love really does exist. Tara is the type of person that would really make you fall in love with her and not in the bad way, but because she’s the type of girl that you’ll feel comfortable to be around with, rides with your antics, will help you in any possible way, and makes you love your true self.
Tara and I have been dating for almost 2 years and the truth is I’ve fallen deeply in love with her, she already accepted my vulnerability and I accepted hers so there’s really no turning back. I’ve thought about these feelings thoroughly ‘cause I don’t want to hurt her nor she wants to hurt me, I’ve always wanted to feel vulnerable around someone I trust and love the most ‘cause I don’t want to let people see my true facade. Tara saw something in me that people don’t and she’s been helping me to cope up with that.
Everything has been great ever since I dated Tara.
December 09
It's our finals and both of us are stressed out since both of us picked a hard course and I actually want to do something special for her since it’s our anniversary so I’ve prepared dinner, movies and gifts just to surprise her. I went home earlier than she did so I could prepare the things I wanted to give and the words that I wanted to say; Thankfully, Sam and Mindy helped me to do everything.
“Minds? Do you think Tara would like it if I gave her a promise ring on our anniversary?” I asked the girl as we strolled through the jewelry shop. She stopped her tracks and looked at me surprised “A promise ring? Really? Doesn’t that curse relationships?” She asked as she glimpsed the rings.
A promise ring breaks relationships? Now what kind of fuck-mind would believe that. “And where did you get that information? Is it one of those crazies at the uni?” I joked.
“I’m just telling you that rings don't mean forever,” she said. That’s actually true, but I’m not gonna listen to her and Tara deserves a promise that I will love her forever so I picked out the ring and necklace for our anniversary tomorrow.
I helped Tara go inside our apartment and took the blindfold off. She engulfed me into a hug and kisses all over my face. "Tara, we need to eat" I said as I put her down on the floor.
Everything went smoothly and both ended with a promise to love and hold forever.
December 14
The day that feels eerie and gut wrenching, it feels so slow and bothering. "Minds, Tara hasn't texted me for the last few weeks and it's concerning me" I said as I tossed her my phone to check Tara and I's conversation.
"She also hasn't been going home" I added and groaned loudly.
"Yeah, I noticed that. You didn't confront her about this? But I always see her at the uni tho" She said.
Is Tara avoiding me? Did I do something wrong last week? Did she do something wrong? Did something happen that I didn't know? A lot of things suddenly hits me, I thought about everything that I've done last week ago, but nothing really came into my mind.
It's already past midnight and I'm still going on about Tara. I heard the door open and keys tossed on the counter. I went outside and checked if Tara's here or just Mindy wanted to crash by.
"Tara? Baby? Where were you?" I asked as I sat beside her on the living room coach.
"Sam's and did some thinking, so can we talk?" she said.
Why does it feel so suffocating? The way she looks at me feels so different; it feels empty and drained. I nodded and sat in front of her.
"For the last few weeks I've been isolating myself to you and it felt different after what I did. It's been perfect for the last 2 years and I loved every single moment that we've done, but I think we must part our ways and fix ourselves" She cried.
What? Just like that? After 2 fucking years? She's just going to throw it all away? I was too stunned to speak, my brain was spewing out words, but my mouth can't function properly. I felt my eyes stung and tears rolled down on my cheeks.
"So? That's it? Gonna throw away our 2 year relationship out the fucking window like its nothing? Damn Tara, I don't know what to say nor to react" I said as I wiped the tears that keep continuing running down on my cheeks.
She doesn't say anything, but her eyes tells me differently like she's guilty for not telling me the reason why.
"Tara, what's the sudden break-up? what's the reason? 'cause I know for a goddamn fact that it's not about self improvement shits. Tell me so that we could fix it" I assured her
She shook her head no and keeps sobbing uncontrollably. I went to her and wiped her tears; I held her hands, "Love? what happened? tell me so we could fix it" I said as I gently squeeze her hand.
She slowly stopped crying and let me wiped her mascara tear-stains. "It was at Wes's parties and you were studying for your final lesson at that time. Amber snuck me out and helped me unwind by bring me to Wes's parties then I got drunk and I couldn't control myself and so did Chad" she explained.
I couldn't believe it.
The love of my life, cheated.
The girl that I trusted the most, cheated.
I felt my whole world fell apart. It feels like my heart just shuttered into pieces, it feels like there's a new cut to it. I feel betrayed, angry and disappointed all at the same time.
I stood up and went back to my seat and comprehend what just Tara said. I can't do this right now, my mind is all over the place.
"babe? hey? I thought we were gonna fix these" she said
does she really think there's something to be fix? I gave her my everything and this is how she repays me. cheating on me with my other best friend? damn, that's another form of betrayal.
"tara, get out. I can't right now. I just want to be alone for a moment"
She doesn't understand what pain I'm going through right now.
After Tara closed the apartment door, I tried smashing everything so that I could somewhat calm down.
I sat on the living room floor and thought about the things that I have done on why Tara have to do this. Wasn't I enough? Am I that easy to replace? Is our relationship just out of pity? There's so much unanswered questions that I have on my mind, but right now I just want to be alone and mend my broken heart.
I thought she was the one that’s going to help me mend up the open cuts that people leave on my heart, but I would never predict that she was going to leave a big one.
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(part 2 of my lovely, jenna is on-going)
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ornii · 4 months
Text
|| My Kind of Crazy ||
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Harley Quinn X Male Reader
So after Binge Watching Barbie, rewatching Suicide Squad, Birds of Prey (and the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn), don’t forget that part, and The Suicide Squad, my appreciation For Morgot Robbie has increased more than it already has. Adore her. So, here’s part one of ?
(Any Tags I forgot please let me know.)
The Stench of rotting carpet, old wood and the tinge of blood was in the air. But this was all a part of the plan. Inside that old decrepit apartment you had your pistol Aimed at a man standing before you, Batman. Yes, The, Batman. A series of choices lead to this moment, but it wasn’t always like this. You were his Robin, his Boy wonder. Now you’re the shadow hiding within Gotham. Your foot was placed on the chest of another man, who’s cold and chilling laugher echoes though the room, Joker. It was on this same day, that you were Abducted; tortured, and subsequently Killed by the Very man. A Trip in the Lazuras pit changed you for the worst. But to your surprise after your revival, Joker was still alive, and Batman hadn’t sunk revenge for your murder, and all you could ask was…
“Why?” You as under your Helmet.. “Why him?” You said, Batman was stoic, silent.
“Who are you..?” He grumbles, his voice modulated to avoid detection, “You don’t know? I’m hurt.” You say with much sarcasm, you grip your helmet and tear it off, showing your face to Batman, even with the small J scar under your eye, it’s obvious who you were. Out of all the people he thought, he never expected his old Sidekick..
To be under the Red Hood.
Jokers eyes lock with the scar and he laughs much harder.
“Wow, now THAT, is funny!” He has his grilled toothy grin, and you placed your foot higher right on his throat. The wheezing laughter continues slowly.
“You don’t get to talk.” You growl at him, and then turnt your attention back to Batman.
“You know, I forgive you for not saving me, you can’t save everyone. But why, why is HE still alive?!” You scream, the rage and trauma building up in you finally. “After everything he’s done, he’s crippled, broken, murdered people! Why, why is he still here?!”
“You don’t understand… you never understood.” He said to you, and you scoff.
“What? That you can’t do it? That you don’t have the spine to! It’s too hard isn’t it?” You ask, Bruce shakes his head.
“No, I know it’s easy, he deserves to die a thousand times over, but if I killed him, i wouldn’t stop myself… I’d justify it, then I’d justify killing someone else, and it’ll keep going.. and I’ll sink further, and further into the dark.” Bruce said, you shook your head.
“You can’t control yourself… I’m not talking about Dent, or Penguin, Even Harley!” You toss the gun, Bruce instinctively catches it but, obviously isn’t capable of holding a gun.
“Do it, shoot him. Kill one, and save millions of lives… you’re the Batman right! You save people, don’t you? So save them! And kill him!” You demand, Bruce stares at you, both of you unwavering in your convictions. But he simply dropped the gun.
“No… I’m sorry, (Y/n).” He said in a solemn whisper.
“Fine!” You yell, revealing one last trick up your sleeve. an explosive set in the entire apartment block, revealing the dead man’s switch in your other hand. Joker laughs as he looks around it all beeping. He turns to Batman, and just smiles
“You, you found a way to win! But to lose everything! AHAHAHAHAHA—“ he laughs, reveling in the chaos as you let go of the switch, Batman made a choice, and now all three of you had to live with it, and in a flash, an explosion, it all faded to black for you.
You’ve been playing that in your mind for the past year you’ve been in Belle Reeve. Sitting in your orange room, captive. The 4x4 room kept you isolated, only for a bang at the door.
“Inmate. You’ve got a visitor! Stand up, face the wall.” He yells, you weren’t keen to listen to others. You stood up, facing the door, cracking your neck.
“Any of your men step in, I’m sending ten of them to the ICU.” You said, very calmly, the door opens and they rush in, training with the Batman made fighting multiple enemies a breeze, punches, kicks and knees flew all though the room as you delivered counters, combos and ruthless tactics. But all fun even came at an end as you were apprehended and locked into a chair. Struggling like a dog you strained to get out, you were wheels around Belle Reeve as you see eleven stretchers head to your cell.
“Told you..” you mutter, struggling in the binds. Being wheeled into an interrogation room, you kept your lips purse until you saw your visitor, she wore a women’s suit and skirt, her eyes deep brown like mud drowning you in muck. Amanda Waller. You looked around and saw that the room was being monitored by a single camera. She gave one officer the nod and he presses a button, the red light on the camera fades off.
“You’re not as scary as I expected.” She said, holding a file she sat down across from you. You knew about Waller, working with the Batman gave you some intel on contacts. And she was the nastiest one of all.
“Waller?” You ask.
“In the flesh.” She responded and opened your file, reading it off.
“(Y/n) Todd, Father was a factory worker, died due to Gang related activity. Mother was an addict, died years ago, leaving you alone, but you see.. that’s where it ends, as if you faded off the planet of the earth. Until you resurface a year later.” She said, all of that was true.
“What’s your point?” You ask. And she reads off another page.
“Peak Physical fitness, durability, speed, Agility, Strenght. Master Of Arms and a Genius level intellect… you are a dangerous and powerful individual, so I’m offering you a chance to cut your sentence down..” she offers
“You’re bluffing..” you struggle in the binds more, but Waller keeps her dead stare.
“Do I look like I’m bluffing?” She said, you stop and she looks you in the eye. “you complete your task, you get years off your sentence, you fail.. you die. Fairly simple.” She said, a million thoughts raced though your mind, but one did.
“Get out, Find Joker.. Kill, Joker.”
“…Im in.” You said, Waller takes her file and closes it. “Good, get his bomb in and relay with the others.” She says, your attitude shifts pretty quickly, “bomb?” You ask, “What do you mean bomb?!” You yell, but nobody said anything, being wheeled away you were held down by officers and a needle injected right into the base of your skull. Granted it wasn’t the worse thing that’s been done to you, still hurt. Finally reaching the breaking point you were wheeled outside, the sun finally hitting your skin and you found yourself surrounded by soldiers, many wounded, others preparing for what seems to be a war.
You turn your head left to spot someone you know too well, Deadshot. Seems he was also canned to Belle Reeve, and to your left was a woman you knew too well, Harley Quinn, also a prisoner. Your blood began to boil even more than before and you were ready to throttle her, but with all these soldiers here, you doubt you’d be able to do it without getting filled with lead. So you bid your time as any Hunter would. A Soldier approached them, and looked them up and down.
“Unlock 'em.” He orders, the soldiers obliged and your restraints are removed, you sit up from yoyr bindings and look further down your line. You even spot Killer Croc, in all his, Lizardy goodness. Harley Stretches and keeps her off putting smile. Closest to Harley was a man adorned with Tattoos, ElDiablo was his name, you heard a few reports about him from Batman.
“Mmm! Hi, boys! Harley Quinn. How do you do?” She said, obviously no one said anything. It was dead silence until she looks around. “Huh? What was that? I should kill everyone and escape? Sorry. It's the voices…” she said, but laughs, “I'm kidding! Jeez!…That's not what they really said.”
The soldiers aren’t done assembling their Squad, more soldiers drag over a sack that’s fighting pretty furiously.
“What do we got here? Twelve pounds of shit in a 10-pound sack. Welcome to the party, Captain Boomerang.” He watches them cut it open, Captain immediately swings on the first person he sees. The Soldiers pin him to a wall.
“Hey, what's going on, man? Hey, one minute I'm playing Mahjong with me nanna, then this red streak hits me outta nowhere.” Boomerang pleads.
“Shut up! You were caught robbing a diamond exchange.”
“I was not!”
He Totally Was.
There was one last member, Slipknot, the man who could climb anything, which was an odd ability set, it nonetheless he was here. The man before them all was Colonel Rick Flag.
“Listen up! In your necks, injection you got, it's a nanite explosive. It's the size of a rice grain, but it's powerful as a hand grenade. You disobey me, you die. You try to escape, you die. You otherwise irritate or vex me, and guess what? You die.” He says, which throws a wrench in your plans to escape, Harley obnoxiously puts her hand up.
“I'm known to be quite vexing. I'm just forewarning you.”
“Lady, shut up!” Flag yells, and then composed himself, “This is the deal. You're going somewhere very bad, to do something that'll get you killed. But until that happens, - you're my problem.” He explains, Deadshot looks him up and down.
“Mmm. So was that like a, uh, pep talk?” He asks.
“Yeah. That was a pep talk. There's your shit. Grab what you need for a fight. We're wheels up in 10.” He said, crates of gear was brought in for you and your “Teammates.”
“You might wanna work on your team motivation thing. You heard of Phil Jackson? He's like the gold standard, okay? Triangle, bitch. Study.” Deadshot, with those very inspiring words to flag suits up with everyone. You open your crate to see the old gear you had, still in damn good condition, and you suit up, Your body armor and jacket lined with shuriken, explosives and throwing knives, a combat knife strapped to your leg. Twin M1911 Dual Handguns, mint condition. And your helmet, still holding one scar on it, you take the helmet out of its case and stare at it. Your eyes waver for a moment to your other teammates, everyone seems to have some dumb gimmick, but your eyes dressed down Harley, not by your choice of course, you’ve been cramped in a hole for nearly a year, and the first woman you see was stripping down in front of you. An urge came over you and you knew exactly what it was, she finally gets her shirt on and sees almost every guy staring.
“What?” She said, they all quickly go back to doing what they were supposed to do, you as well, pushing those feelings down. You keep looking at your mask, Deadshot does the same thing with his.
“What? Won't fit anymore? Too much junk in the trunk?” Harley said to him.
“Nah. Every time I put this on, somebody dies.” He tried to shake it off, but couldn’t that.. this wouldn’t be a normal contracts
“And?” Harley said.
“I like putting it on.” He admits, she smirks and grabs her mallet, “Goody. Somethin' tells me a whole lotta people are about to die!” She sounds so giddy.
“Yeah. It's us. We're being led to our deaths.” Diablo said.
“I don’t plan on it.” You said, looking down the barrels of one of your 1911’s.
“You know something we don’t Mate?” Boomerang asks, “No.” You reply. “I just don’t plan on dying again.” You mutter.
“What you a zombie or something?” Deadshot looks unimpressed. “Something like that… point is; Been dead, done that… I plan on getting out of here..” you say, and turn to Harley.
“I’ve got business to take care of.” You made your claim pretty obvious but it didn’t matter to you, escape is the only plan, and getting this explosive disabled. “You don’t seem to giddy like these guys..” you ask El Diablo, “I’m not here to hurt anyone man.” He said. Deadshot was the first to let them all know.
“Y'all might wanna leave old boy alone. He could torch this whole joint. Ain't that right, ese?” He looks at Diablo, who calmly shows his hands, flames emitting from them, but low ones:
“Ain't got nothing to worry about from me. I'm cool, homie.” He says, Flag returns to them, holding a tablet with Amanda on screen.
“Behold the voice of God.” He said, and she gives them the rundown. “For those of you who don't know me officially, my name is Amanda Waller. There's an active terrorist event in Midway City. I want you to enter the city, rescue HVT-1, and get them to safety.” She orders.
“I'm sorry. Uh... For those of us who don't speak good guy, what is HVT-1?” Deadshot asks.
“HVT.. High Value Target.” You say, “It’s like a bounty, Basically a rescue mission.” You explain, Deadshot nods, admitting you made it sound much less cool. “The only person that matters in the city, the one person you can't kill. Complete the mission, you get time off your prison sentence. Fail the mission, you die. Anything happens to Colonel Flag, I'll kill every single one of you. Remember, I'm watching. I see everything.” Waller ends the communication and Flag turns to Deadshot
There's your pep talk.”
“Compared to your shit, she killed it. So that's it? What, we some kind of Suicide Squad?” He asks, Flag ignores his question and leaves.
“I'll notify your next of kin. Alpha, Bravo team. Mount up!” He orders, you look around to the team you’ll be forced to work with. All of them, criminals in their own right, but for now they’re the thing between success, or all of you dying painful deaths. You put on your helmet and the detective mode still works, turning it off. You load your guns and walk to the helicopter.
Task Force X, has been activated.
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