#i can never do anything but sympathize w him i’m sorry

[s0ftand0nly]

This is about to be a long, kind of rambly post so stick with me if you want to, but I feel like a lot of people who make posts about Anakin have not experienced what it’s like to be groomed into doing what you don’t want to.

And no, I’m not calling Sheev a pedophile. Grooming isn’t inherently sexual. I suppose you could swap the word out for manipulated if that’s what makes you more comfortable.

Anakin did not jump from a good home life to the Jedi temple. He went from being a literal slave with an unhealthy attachment to his mother out of necessity for survival into an environment where he was immediately told that he was wrong. I’m not here to debate whether the Jedi were wrong or if their rules were wrong- I am ONLY saying they were wrong for taking this child, 9 years old, and telling him that he is wrong and a coward for doing what he needed to to survive day to day not even a full week ago.

Anakin was raised as a slave. We see multiple times what it’s like for slaves, but what impacted me the most were the Clone Wars episodes where Obi-wan and Rex are sold into slavery. It’s said explicitly in the episode that the slavers we see frequently make deals with the Hutts, and that fact alone makes it very likely that Shmi and even possibly Anakin were in those camps themselves at one point. These slavers whip and abuse the people there, force them to wear shock collars and leave lasting scars on both Obi-wan and Rex when they were both only there for a couple weeks.

Shmi would have been in one of those camps for years. If Anakin had, it would have been when he was an infant.

We even learn in one episode in season 2 that it’s commonplace to perform surgery on new slaves in order to implant a tracker in them so they can never be free. Anakin was not a normal kid with a normal, happy life.

Enter Sheev, who is immediately in a position of power over him and, not only that, but has consistent access to him. Anakin probably already felt wronged by the Jedi for being told he was a coward, but wow! The senator of Naboo later Chancellor thinks he’s very brave!

Anakin spent his entire life struggling with the Jedi Code- not because he’s inherently evil or selfish like some people like to act, but because he grew up being told the exact opposite. He couldn’t leave his attachments, if he did neither of them would be protected and they would both be killed. He showed anger when told not to because that was all he had ever been shown unless by his mother.

But all the while, he had a little voice in his ear telling him that he’s not like the other Jedi, he’s special, he’s better. Sheev played on his insecurities in every single scene we see them in together. He tells him to react to his anger, to keep his attachments and to be selfish. Anakin only gets worse from there.

Anakin’s problem has never been that he is inherently selfish or inherently evil. His problem was that he had no one close to him to tell him no- and anyone who did he was told to cut off by Sheev.

The tragedy of Anakin’s story has never been that he’s uncaring or cares only about himself, it’s that he was a child (22 in ROTS! i have mutuals older than that!) who was being told what to do and how to act by a man well over three times his age and he listened.

#star wars #this post is so long lmfao i’m so sorry #anakin skywalker #i can never do anything but sympathize w him i’m sorry #this is not jedi bashing

[dp-marvel94]

(Not) Alone- Chapter 4

Summary: Consumed with worry and scared after watching Dani almost die, Danny begs her to come home with him and meet Jazz. He wants to see her safe and happy and taken care of more than anything. An important reveal also weighs heavy on him – Dani isn’t the only living clone… and the other is him. He needs to tell her the truth; maybe that will convince her to agree to the idea of telling his parents. And she'll stay in Amity Park with him, where he'll never have to worry if she's safe ever again.

Meanwhile, Dani has mixed feelings. Still reeling from the loss of her clone siblings, Danny’s unexpected worry and care make her uncomfortable. And her own guilt… she hurt him and helped get him kidnapped twice. How can he care about a mistake like her? But having clean clothes and a bed is wonderful. And things aren’t as simple as she thinks.

Will Dani accept the help she needs and let herself be loved? Or will she push Danny and Jazz away and run again?

Word Count: 2,698

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Also on AO3 and Fanfiction.net

Note: Here's the new chapter! Sorry it's a bit late; the weekend was busy but a lot of fun (D&D and a Red Concert! 😍). Then I went back to work on Monday and they're back to trying to kill me with stress. 😭 I'm applying for other jobs and already have got an interview so hopefully I'll be leaving soon. Pray for me, friends. 🥺

Over an hour later, her brother finished explaining. 

“So let me make sure I’ve got this straight.” Dani’s brow furrowed. “Vlad made Tiny-you overshadow Danny-you. There was a weird memory-sharing, dreamscape thing. You didn’t wanna leave. You were destabilizing and…” The girl swallowed, paling for a second. “You melted while still possessing… also you?”

“It’s easier if you just use the names.” Danny(?), Dami(?) added helpfully.

Dani pressed her hands together, fingers pointed up as if praying.  “So… Tiny… Dami melted while he was still overshadowing Danny….” She moved her hands apart, vaguely miming a spherical shape. “Core combining, merging, fusing thing happened.” She balled her fists together before pointing. “And that’s where you come in? Because you’re both of them?”

The boy gave a nod. “That’s right.”

Dani also nodded. Then her eyes widened, realizing. “That’s why you were being so weird after breaking out of that chamber thing!”

Her brother blinked once, as if just realizing she’d been there. “What do you mean?”

“You were moving kinda jerkily, like you couldn’t get your limbs to work right. Or you were dizzy or something.” She frowned. “And your eyes were blank and glassy, like you weren’t all there.” Dani shrugged, deceptively casual. “I thought Vlad just shocked you real bad.”

“Well, that electricity sure wasn’t fun.” He smiled uncomfortably. “But yeah. There was a lot going on here.” He motioned vaguely to his head and chest. Then he frowned. “I still don’t remember it all that well.”

“I’m sorry.” Dani sympathized. “It sounds like you had an awful time, not even realizing what happened at first.” (How did he not realize it though, being changed like that? ) “And the power flare-ups. And the figuring it out yourself. And that’s where Frostbite comes in, right?”

The boy nodded. “He confirmed what I had already figured out but… didn’t want to admit to myself. He…” A guilty blush. “He helped me out a lot, with really getting all this-  who and what I am now- and learning how to be okay with it.” He swallowed. “It took me a while to tell Jazz, Sam, and Tucker though. And that was rough… but we’re all good now.”

There was a significance, a deep-seated pain to those words. It squeezed at the clone girl’s core.

“And you’re okay too?” She asked.

“Yeah.” He smiled softly, some of the weight lifting. “I’m really happy you’re here.”

“Me too.” Dani reached forward, hugging him again.

The two siblings shared the embrace for a long moment. Then after a few breaths, the boy pulled away.

His brow furrowed, worriedly searching her face. “Are you okay with all this? With… me?”

“Of course!” The girl didn’t even hesitate, grinning. “I mean, I don’t really get it. Like at all. Everything you just told me is crazy…” 

For a moment, his eyes fell, more than a hint of alarmed disappointment.

Dani pointedly shook her head. “I believe you! It’s just….  It all sounds so insane. I can’t wrap my head around it. At least not yet.” 

For a second, the girl’s lips pursed, considering the situation. It sounded impossible. She didn’t understand it at all, despite that hour-long explanation. Or… well, she had understood the words, the general flow of the story. But the details? Fitting what had happened into her mind, her map of reality? (Would she ever be able to?)

Her brother nodded at her words. “Jazz and my friends didn’t really get it at first either. I think they’re still getting there too.” He half-shrugged, blushing.

The clone girl smiled softly; that made her feel better. “What matters is, you’re still here. You’re alive. You’re not melting. You’re stable! We’re both stable!” She grinned, spreading her arms. “And you can actually talk now!”

“Oh yeah?” The boy grinned, wrapping an arm around her. “So I get to torture you with my puns and you won’t complain?” He furiously nuggied her head.

“No, not puns!” The girl complained dramatically, trying to squirm away.

Grinning, her brother’s wiggling fingers went for her armpit. “What was that?”

Dani giggled, body twitching from the assault. “No… no puns!”

“But I thought you were tickled pink, finally hearing my boo-tiful voice.”

“Stop! Stop!” She panted out through her laughter. “Dami, stop!”

The boy also laughed. “Come on! That was spook-takular. I think it ghosts without saying.”

The girl’s chest heaved, unable to word a reply.

“See, I’ve left you speechless.”

Dani flailed, her own wiggling fingers seeking out the other clone’s sensitive underarm. 

“Hey. Hey!” Dami complained, falling into his own giggles.

Quickly, the two half ghosts fell into a pile of limbs and laughter.

“It sounds like you two are having fun.” Jazz’s voice cut through the scene.

The tickling stopped at that, both half-ghosts panting for a few seconds before sitting up.

“I wondered when you were going to get up.” The boy rolled his eyes teasingly. “Thought you were going to sleep all day.”

“As if.” The red-head rolled her own eyes, going to sit on the couch near the pair.

“Seriously though.” The jovial tone dimmed. “I’m surprised you didn’t hear our… discussion.” Dami’s eyes flickered to his clone sister meaningfully.

Dani blushed, a seed of guilt sprouting in her core. Oh yeah… she had started this entire thing with yelling at him.

For a moment, something (almost guilty?) flickered in Jazz’s eyes but it was quickly gone. The older girl nodded. “So, you told her about…” A significant pause.

“About being Dami. Yeah, she knows.” Her brother nodded.

“And you took it well?” The older girl’s gaze fell on Dani, more than a hint of hope in her eyes.

With another blush, the clone girl nodded. “After he explained everything.” Her eyes narrowed slightly. “You know, you should have led with that last night. It definitely would have made things easier.” (Maybe she wouldn’t have been so grumpy about him worrying about her and about accepting help. Maybe she wouldn’t have gotten so angry about him calling himself her brother; he actually was after all.)

The older two traded meaningfully concerned looks. Dani’s insides twisted. Had she said something wrong?

Jazz leaned forward, a strangely deliberate gentleness to her voice. “How about we make some breakfast? Then we can go do something fun together.”

“Breakfast!” That got Dani’s interests. “Can we have pancakes?” Her eyes lit up, already making her way to the kitchen. 

(That segway felt like a diversion but Dani wasn’t going to say anything. Who was she to refuse food?)

“Yeah, pancakes sound great.” Dami enthused. “Chocolate chips?”

“Yes, we’ve got chocolate chips.” Jazz laughed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Danny and Jazz made pancakes for breakfast, Dani’s excited eyes on their backs. Part of that excitement was because of the food but the half ghost knew… it was also something else.

Compared to his friends and older sister who hadn’t talked to him for days after he told them, Dani took the secret well. Surprisingly well…. There was a reason for that. He saw it in the way she looked at him, in what she said after their conversation. 

“Are you okay with all this? With… me?” “Of course!” 

Dani hadn’t thought about her response at all. She hadn’t even hesitated.

“I mean, I don’t really get it. Like at all. Everything you just told me is crazy…” 

Danielle didn’t really understand. Of course she didn’t. And he didn’t expect her to; it had taken him weeks to even begin to understand what he was now and he was experiencing it from the inside.

But…

“What matters is, you’re still here. You’re alive. You’re not melting. You’re stable! We’re both stable!” She grinned, spreading her arms. “And you can actually talk now!”

Damian, Tiny, her littlest brother. That was who she saw when she looked at him. And…. Danny was surprisingly okay with that. Part of it was…. It was nice for that part of him to be wanted. But a greater portion…. 

After telling his friends and sister, he had been so concerned with them seeing and accepting both parts of him, all of him. Not just the Danny they were used to, but the clone too. And most importantly…. The new, complete self that he was. Those months ago, that had been so new. He had only just begun realizing and accepting that he wasn’t just the sum of his parts but greater, his own person. Now though….

He knew who he was. Danny wouldn’t be shaken by Danielle seeing him as Tiny. That was what she needed, who she needed for now. She needed to be happy that one of her clone brothers was still alive, right here with her. Learning all those other implications, getting to know him as the new person he was… that could come later.

For now, he wouldn’t say anything. He would take it slow. He would let himself just be Dami, for her.

With those thoughts dismissed, Damian went back to making breakfast with his older sister.

“You know what we need? Bacon!” Excited at the thought, the boy opened the fridge and reached for the meat drawers.

“Wait!” Jazz shouted, eyes wide. “It’s contam-”

Dami pulled open the container to sudden growls. Something ugly green-red-white wiggled through the clear plastic, lunging for his fingers. “Never mind!” He tried to slam the drawer closed. But the strips of meat sprang up, wedging in the opening. “Oh no, you don’t!”

The bacon hissed without mouths, tiny red eyes blinking open. The boy shot at the meat…

“Shit!” The blast of fire impacted. 

The strips shrieked. 

“What did you do?!” The red-head lunged for the fridge, beating at the flames with a kitchen towel.

“It was supposed to be an ectoblast!”

The meat moaned pathetically, still on fire.

“Make them stop!” Dani complained, hands over her ears.

Then the fire alarm started screaming.

“Just close the fridge!” Dami shoved his older sister out of the way. 

The door slammed closed, cutting off the pitiful whimpers. Jazz stomped to the fire alarm, swiping the broom from its place against the wall. She jabbed the handle up, hitting the button to turn the siren off.

Blessed quiet fell over the room. The boy’s shoulders relaxed, smiling sheepishly. “Well, that’s not how I’d been planning to cook the bacon….”

A beat of silence. Then….

Dani started giggling. “You… you shot it, you really just shot it….” The sound was almost hysterical, like this was the funniest thing she’d ever seen. 

The older halfa couldn’t help but laugh with her. “I was trying to ectoblast it, not… not shoot it with fire…” 

Even Jazz joined with her own eyeroll. “Little brother, I swear….”

Dami bent over, taken by the ridiculousness of the situation. That stupid contaminated bacon… and he’d really just accidentally fire-blasted it. What even was his life?

The three siblings laughed together for a good minute, all else forgotten. Until…

The smell of burning, the fire alarm shrieked again.

“The pancakes!”

After Jazz rushed back to the stove, the boy hesitantly opened the fridge. To his relief, the fire was out, the plastic walls of the drawer none the worse for wear. But the contents- luckily just the bacon- was burnt to a crisp, and not the crisp one normally wanted in bacon. Left in the bacon’s place were two moaning blob ghosts which Dami quickly sucked up in a Fenton thermos. Dani helped him clean up the ashes, leaving no trace of the fire he’d caused.

Ten minutes later, the pancakes were ready and the three siblings sat down to eat.

The two half ghosts dug into their stacks. 

“So good.” The younger girl happily moaned through a mouthful.

“Yeah.” The boy agreed, having finished his first. “Sorry you…uhh… lost one because of bacon-shenanigans.” He said sheepishly.

Jazz rolled her eyes, the picture of faux-annoyance. “How did you manage to accidentally fire-blast them?”

“Hey! It’s an easy mistake. I’ll have you know…”

The two squabbled for a bit, Dani joining in once she’d finished half her stake.

“Do you normally have to fight the food in the fridge?” The clone girl asked with a laugh.

The two teens looked at each other. Dami shrugged. “Only sometimes.”

Dani raised an eyebrow, putting another piece of pancake in her mouth. “Do the Drs Fenton store blob ghosts in there or something?”

“It was ectoplasm samples.” Jazz corrected. “And no, they actually don’t anymore.”

The younger girl gave her a skeptical look. “Really?”

“Jazz got them to put a fridge for samples in the basement and stop putting things upstairs.” Dami clarified. “I saw them do a deep clean on the fridge too, right before they left. With real, store-bought cleaning stuff and everything.” His brow furrowed. “I figured that would work to stop making the meat bite back.”

“It looks like it didn’t stick.” Jazz frowned. “I’ll have to tell Mom. Maybe they should just get a new fridge.”

“That’s probably a good idea.” Dani eyed the appliance warily.

“Do you want to meet them?” The boy suddenly asked.

“Who?” The clone girl blinked.

“Our parents, I mean.” Her brow furrowed, like she wanted to argue, but Dami interrupted. “They’re your parents too. Biologically at least. I know they’d want to meet you, if they knew about you. And…” He poked at his last few pieces of pancake. “I’ve been trying to get them warmed up to ghosts. They’ve got a truce with Phantom now. They know that I’m good, that I’m just trying to help the town. They’ve met Cujo and Sidney. And that went well. They don’t shoot on sight anymore. I think…” He worried his lip. “I think if I told them about me being half ghost, about me being Phantom that they’d get it.” The clone-fusion secret was a whole other thing. But… “I really want to tell them.”

And tell his parents about Dani and have them meet her and ask if they would adopt his baby sister… His core squeezed. He wanted that so much, more badly than he wanted them to accept him. He wanted this house, their family to be a safe home for her. And he wanted to tell the clone girl that so badly. But…

Danielle was biting her own lip, staring down at the table with an unreadable expression. She’d closed off as soon as he’d said ‘our parents’.

Danny’s heart hurt; he felt like a hypocrite. Hadn’t he just been thinking about taking it slow and just letting Dani be happy he was alive? She’d already been visibly uncomfortable last night. Just earlier, she’d pretty much yelled at him to stop worrying about her. And now he was pushing her again….

There was a long, silent pause. Finally, Dani said. “I’ll think about it.”

Danny’s eyes widened. That was good, better than he expected. “Alright. I can live with that.” He breathed. “I won’t tell them about you unless you say it’s okay.”

Still, there was a knot in his stomach. It would have to be good enough.

An awkward atmosphere lingered as the three finished their food but slowly it ebbed.

“What do you want to do today, Dani?” Jazz asked, looking at the other girl.

The younger blinked, surprised. “I can pick?”

The red-head nodded, giving her a smile. “Anything you want.”

“As long as it’s in town or not too far away.” The boy added, then with a nervous cough. “Or too expensive. I uh… don’t have that much money.”

“Speak for yourself, little brother.” Jazz raised a brow. Then giving the girl a wink. “I’ve been saving up just for this occasion.”

“Really?” Dani blinked for a moment, all the more surprised. Then her brow furrowed, considering. After a long minute…. “Can we go to the mall?"

#Danny Phantom #my fic #(Not) Alone #Invisobang 2023 #Invisobang

[kiriiqt]

aether modern au profile

characters: aether (traveller)

requested by: me, myself and i.

a/n: aether’s character profile and voice lines for my modern au. remember, in this scenario, the reader (or whoever you envision talking to aether) is a junior who has moved to mondstadt in the beginning of the school year. assumptions are made about the reader, but i've tried to keep it as vague as possible.

warnings: implied mental health issues and trauma, mentions of bad sleep patterns due to dreams.

⏳ now loading character profile...⌛️

Fun Fact: Dawn Winery is now more famous for their non-alcoholic beverages, despite specializing in wine.

⏳ character profile loaded⌛️

Name: Aether

Birthday: 20-04-20XX

Description: A 17-year-old junior at Barbatos Highschool, and Lumine’s twin brother. He’s a good student but extremely forgetful, leading to his friends and sister often carrying around spare items. Aether is generally friends with everyone, but mainly sticks with Albedo, and the two can often be found in the library or science building. He lives with his parents and sister, though the former are rarely home due to their work.

Likes: Anemo slimes, summer rain, hot drinks, reading, the ‘Abyss’ franchise, vintage and thrifted stuff, roller skating, Cavetown, Eric Nam, cooking, coming of age movies, gravity falls.

Dislikes: Small spaces, beer, extremely gory movies, close-minded people, romantic novels.

Relationships:

Lumine ✦✦✦✦✦

Albedo ✦✦✦✦✦

Klee ✦✦✦✦✧

Xiao ✦✦✦✦✧

Venti ✦✦✦✦✧

Voicelines

Friendship level 0

About Lumine; Oh, hey, sorry I didn’t see you there. Hm? The girl I hugged? Don’t worry, that’s not a weird question at all! She’s my sister, Lumine. Heh, you look surprised. No no, people usually react that way, we don’t exactly have the same… vibe, I guess you could call it? Don’t be intimidated by her though! I’ll tell you a secret, she has a really big obsession with geovishaps… no, literally, her room is full of plushies. Also, she has a really big sweet tooth, haha! Don’t tell her I said that though!

About Albedo; Have you seen Albedo? Oh, he’s the guy I hang out with a lot. He has this almost prince-like aura to him? Uh, shoulder-length blonde hair, he usually puts it up, wears a lot of neutral colors… you’ve never spoken to him? Are you busy right now? Come with me, I’ll introduce you! Mhm? Haha, don’t worry, he’s harmless. He’s just quiet and has a very neutral resting face. Just get him started on a topic he enjoys and then he won’t shut up for hours.

About hobbies; Oh, I do a lot of stuff in my freetime… uhh, I like to cook, though Xiangling is a lot better, I like to roller skate, thrifting is also fun but not very good for my wallet… this might sound boring, but I read a lot of books. Almost any kind, really. I also play video games, but I’m not super good at them. I bet I can beat you in Mario Kart though. No, it’s true! Xiao holds the record, but I’m a close second! Venti told you he’s best at it? Haha, that couldn’t be farther from the truth, he barely even remembers the controls!

About movies; Oh, you like my shirt? Thanks, it’s my favorite! It’s for this franchise called ‘The Abyss’, it has games and novels and such, but originally it was just a series of movies. It’s about this calamity that happened which created the Abyss, and now these creatures are trying to take over the world as revenge. You see it from the perspective of the Abyssal creatures, so you actually sympathize with them, and the hero actually begins to question what he’s fighting for when he begins to learn the truth of the entire situation… Sorry, I started rambling, didn’t I? A-Anyway, if you want to watch the movies or anything, let me know, I have all of them on dvd, I’m always up for rewatching them…

About food; Sorry to disappoint you, but I don’t really have a favorite food… I’m not super picky. It sounds cheesy, but I care more about the quality and thought behind it? No food is better than a good, home cooked meal, or just something made with good intentions. That’s also why I prefer to eat with other people… I like the social aspect. My drink? It’s just soda from Dawn Winery… Oh, come on, not you too! What’s so weird about organic soda? It has less chemicals! Stop laughing guys!

Studying; Make sure to study for our test next week, it’s always better to start early than to rush it… if you need a study buddy let me know! How much do I study in a week? I’m not sure actually, but if you ask Lumine, she’ll tell you it’s too much. No, I don’t overwork myself, she just hates schoolwork.

Friendship level 2

About crushes; You got a question? Shoot! Huh? If I like anyone? N-not really, what gave you that idea? Did Lumine say something again…

About books; I don’t really have a preferred genre, actually. It depends on my mood… I like books about history and science, but also fiction, like sci-fi and fantasy. I can read almost anything. Except for romance novels. Please don’t make me read those. No, I can’t stand them. Listen, a well-executed romantic novel is nearly impossible to come by, and I just dislike romance in general… yuck.

Aether’s troubles; Hey, sorry, did you see where I put my headphones? And do you happen to know where Lumine is? No reason, I just, uh, need her for something. Okay fine, yes I forgot my reading glasses again. And maybe my headphones too. I swear, one day I’m gonna forget my backpack or something.

Friendship level 4

About Klee; Klee is Albedo’s younger sister. I babysit her quite often. She’s a good kid, just very loud and rowdy. She has the same love for science as Albedo, though she’s more into… explosive things. It’s actually kind of cute, she has this one sweatshirt that Albedo got for a science fair in like 5th grade? She wears it all the time.

About family; Yeah, Lumine and I are quite close. We don’t have any other siblings. Yeah, our parents are out of the house most of the time for work, that’s why we always hang out there, haha. I mean, it doesn’t get that lonely since we’re both there. I do miss my parents sometimes though.

Knights of Favonius; You guessed it, another vintage sweater… You know the Knights of Favonius? They’re a big sports club now, but since you just moved here, I guess it makes sense that you don’t know them? They’re actually really famous, especially their football and rugby team! My dad actually used to play for them. Yeah, I can show you a photo next time you visit!

Aether’s troubles II; Thanks for saving me a seat earlier. My appointment dragged out a bit. Oh, just the doctor. Huh? I do this weekly?.. You’re really observant somehow. I just take a certain medication, so they need to check on me quite often. Nothing to worry your pretty head about. Gotcha! Yes, I took that line from Kazuha, what about it?

Routines; This energy drink isn’t for me, it’s for Lumi. She has a really bad habit of staying up until 5 in the morning, even when she has to get up at 6. On the weekends I usually meet her in the kitchen when she’s about to go to bed and I’m about to eat breakfast. I’d find it funny if it wasn’t so bad for her health. Anyway, feel free to pester her about it. The more the merrier, right?

Friendship level 6

Slimes…?; Lumi told you about that, eh? I just think slimes are cute, nothing more, nothing less. Did you know they were actually just very high concentrations of certain types of elemental energy? Shame they only live underwater now…

Missing school; Sorry for worrying you again. But, we’ve known each other for a while, so I feel comfortable telling you this. I do technically go to the doctor weekly, but it’s really just a psychologist. It’s for a lot of stuff, but mainly things that happened in middle school that I haven’t gotten over. No, I’m not ashamed, part of me just feels like it’s… dramatic, or something like that.

About sleep; I’m okay, don’t worry about me. I’ve just had trouble sleeping recently. Like, I’ve been getting really weird and vivid dreams. It’s kind of unpleasant… Anyway, don’t worry about it. I’ve probably just been studying too much, haha.

Insecurities; I went on a rant again, didn’t I? Sorry. Yes, I know, you told me I don’t have to apologize, I just feel like I talk too much sometimes. Then again, most of the time I’m too quiet. Really can’t find a balance, huh… you sure you don’t mind if I continue? I don’t wanna annoy you…

Friendship level 8

Strange dreams; Are you and Lumi ganging up on me or somethin? You both keep bugging me about looking tired. Haha, I guess you’re right, it’s not common to see bags under my eyes. Honestly… It’s just the strange dreams. I don’t want Lumi to get too worried, so I haven’t told her, but they’ve gotten more… intense? Remember when we watched the Abyss movies? It’s gonna sound… ridiculous, but hear me out, it’s like the dreams are about those movies… like I’m the person trying to figure out the secrets of that world. it just gives me this bad feeling… A-Actually, nevermind, this sounds so stupid, sorry. Just ignore me.

Odd occurrences; You’re asking about the dreams again? I told you, they’re just stupid. Huh? I mean, yes they’re bothering me, but I still think it sounds stupid. They’re just dreams… but now that you mention it, some of them feel too real. Like, I can feel too much. I also get this really strong sense of deja vu… Also, I’m sure that sometimes I dream about something that either happens the next day or a few days later. Archons, I sound crazy.

About the future; I’m not sure what I want to study after high school. Lumi and I definitely want to go traveling around the world before anything, there’s so many cool places! Hey, you’re graduating at the same time as us, you could join if you wanted to!

Concerns; Hey, you’re off now, right? Okay great, I brought you the book you wanted to borrow, also I got you your favorite drink from that cafe - oh, don’t worry, Xiao told me about it, no stalking here - I wasn’t sure which snacks you preferred so I got a few different ones. Why am I doing this?... I can tell that you don’t want to talk about it, but something is bothering you. So the least I can do is try to make your day better. Oh no, you’re not a bother, don’t even consider that as a possibility. You’re my friend, I care about you, and I want to help you feel better. Now, let's go build a blanket fort, and then you can tell me about it if you want to!

Summer break; Kind of exciting that they’re letting us go on break early. Only like, what, two weeks of school left? Do you have any plans for summer? No traveling since you moved here less than a year ago? Sounds fair enough. A lot of us are staying here for the summer though, so you’re definitely not gonna be lonely. Unless you wanna hermit up in your room of course. I’m joking, I’m joking! Nothing wrong with that though.

About Kunikuzushi; Oh, him. First of all, we call him Scara - it’s a long story, he used to be obsessed with Bohemian Rhapsody - secondly, why’re you asking about him? Ah, you heard students talking about him... there’s a lot of rumors about him, especially since he’s coming back from some private school this summer. Most of the rumors are false, I can tell you that. We’re... not super close, my parents just used to work with his family. He can be hard to get along with, Archons knows he’s got a lot of issues, but he’s actually pretty chill after a while.

Friendship level 10

Chats in early summer; Speaking of summer, you’ve been here for quite a while now. Have you enjoyed the school? You got popular quite fast, so I hope the social aspect is okay? Yeah, I’d consider you popular. I mean, practically everyone I know loves you and wants to spend more time with you… Hey, I’m glad we’re friends. Senior year will definitely be more exciting with you around.

A gift; Sorry in advance if you’re not the gift type, but I got you something. Shhh, I know I didn’t have to, but I wanted to, your argument is therefore invalid. May I remind you which one of us used to be in the debate club? I’m just joking with you, open it!... Do you like it? Yeah, it’s a slime shaped wallet. I hope I got your favorite element right. I couldn’t find one that exactly matched my wallet, they’ve made new designs over the years, but I hope that's okay…heh, you’re welcome.

Aether’s troubles III; I told my psychologist about the dreams, finally. You were right, she didn’t call me ridiculous. She did say there could be some deeper meaning with it, maybe my mind is trying to tell me something, but I’m obviously not sure… I’m doing okay, don’t worry. Mental health has its ups and downs, I’m sure you know that. Tell you what though, good friends can make a massive difference… nope, not referring to anyone in particular, heh.

#genshin impact #genshin impact aether #genshin impact au #genshin #modern au #aether's modern au

[silverdelirium]

hi! can you do one where draco and the reader are married (don’t make them old please make them like the married rich pretty milf and dilf couple), and they have a daughter. anyway, draco is out because of work/something else (it’s up to u) and the reader is with their daughter and they get into a small fight and the daughter says something really bad/hurtful to the reader (her mother) and the reader like gets sad (make it bad so it can be dramatic😏) and when draco gets home he finds the reader like crying (smoking too bc a milf smoking is hot but if you don’t want to add it it’s fine) and yeah basically the rest is up to you :)) ily hope ur well and fine. <3

CIGARETTES & INSECURITIES | D.M

thank you hoe @selenesheart for helping me with the title ily

warnings: anxiety, lowkey panic attack, insecurities of being a bad mother, mean child, smoking, angst w a happy ending

———

draco’s hurried steps were heard echoing across the hallway as he rapidly made his way downstairs, cussing his boss out under his breath for calling him on a fucking Sunday. the same sunday he was about to spend basking in the love of his wife and child, all expectations now turned to mush.

“i’m sorry i have to go, my love. call me if you need anything, okay?” spoke draco, tone soft as he held your face in his hands, giving you one last sad smile before pressing a sweet kiss on your lips.

you gave him a feeble nod in response with a reassuring smile, watching him storm off in long strides, still swearing in hushed whispers and with a flick of his wand, he was gone.

you instantly took notice of how intense the atmosphere got around the manor- almost scary. deadly quiet with your four-year-old toddler still asleep and big curtains blocking any sunlight from coming in.

it almost caused goosebumps to rise on your arms as if the universe was already warning you of the day you were gonna have to deal with today.

maybe the first bad thing to happen today was being woken up by draco’s phone going off like crazy with calls of his boss and endless text messages of his colleagues.

it didn’t matter though, you had other things to worry about. your toddler was already walking down the stairs with a sleepy stare as she made her way to you, immediately taking notice of how there was no trace of draco, and looking around for any signs of her father.

“hi there” you greeted, giving her a sympathetic smile when she asked for draco, her small body already wrapped around your torso. a small sigh with a brief explanation of a work emergency was given to her. her sour mood amplifying a tenfold for every word that left your mouth.

she stayed quiet for a moment, and just as you started beaming at the thought of calming a daddy’s girl- she sobbed heavily in your ear, clinging hard to you but still screaming for draco.

a grimace found its way to your face along with a sorrowful expression as you shushed her down, tracing your fingers down her spine; a small trick you always did to relax her in days like this.

her sobs quieted down but she still cried silently in your shoulder, hot tears rolling down her face that had you questioning whether you should call your husband or not, the thought accompanying the insecurity of being a terrible mother who can barely keep her child tranquil.

after a few minutes of letting her pour all her emotions out, you made a path to the kitchen and sat her down on the barstool, wiping her tears away as she huffed in what seemed to be an angry expression.

“would you like some breakfast, baby?” you spoke, tone soft and slow as to not aggravate the situation.

“i want daddy”

“he’s- he’s not here right now” you tried to reason, watching as she took a deep breath but said nothing.

you turned around to head for the stove. but your ears caught a small murmur of “you’re the worst” coming from none other than your daughter.

a thunder-struck look adorned your face, blinking back the tears that found their way to your waterline.

ever since you found out you were pregnant, the anxiousness of being a not good enough mom had filled you in seconds, thinking of the worst scenarios possible throughout the pregnancy. draco was always there to ease your nerves a bit, yet, never quite pushing them away completely.

and jesus- did that simple three-word sentence stung painfully at your heart.

you stayed frozen in place for a few moments before taking a deep breath and quickly collecting yourself, continuing your errands around the kitchen as you made an effort to ignore the way your hands became clammy and heartstrings were pulled harshly in your chest.

the rest of the day went painfully slow, your daughter completely ignoring you and just curling up on the couch or playing in her room, always slamming the door in your face whenever you attempted to talk to her. your back also aching from having to do all house chores by yourself. every once in a while getting a text message from draco, rushed typos of “i love you” and “i’m gonna be there soon”.

——

the clock read 6:07 P.M and you held the cigarette to your lips with shaky fingers, tears blurring your vision as all the frustration from today came crashing down at once.

sobs rocked through your body as you inhaled the smoke and blew it out past your nostrils. warm, thick tears not coming to a halt even once.

your cries muffled every sound around you. not taking notice of draco who was now frantically searching for you, already finding your daughter safe and asleep on the couch. yet you were nowhere to be found.

it took one look at the cigarette package on the dining table for draco to locate you. he knew about your anxiety and how bad it got when triggered.

his heart ached and fists clenched at his side as he turned to his baby girl, snuggling her deeper into the thick fluffy blanket before making his way to the porch where you sat with a hand to your sternum, big clouds of smoke fogging the air around you.

“oh, baby” he sympathized, not giving you time to react as he enveloped you in a big hug, feeling the way your curled your fists on his shirt and sobbed quietly, taking ragged breaths every once in a while.

after a few minutes of taking shallow breaths, you pulled your head back from his chest, just enough to stare at his face, his bright grey eyes running down every feature you had, almost like he was studying it.

“what happened today?” he whispered, closing his eyes and connecting his forehead with yours.

you released a breath through your nose and lit off the cigarette on the small table next to you before explaining every small detail from today to draco, a few tears escaping at some points.

once you were done, draco removed his head from yours, pulling back and displaying both of his palms on your cheeks, observing your tear-stained face made him ache with sorrow.

“my love” he started “you are the world’s greatest mother to ever exist, a bad day with your child does not define your abilities as a mom. she loves you, we all do. you don’t know how fuzzy she gets when you’re not here.”

his words made a small smile crack through your lips, buzzing nerves slowly weighing down after every syllable he spoke.

“we would all be doomed if it wasn’t for you. every parent has a bad day, do not beat yourself up for it, it happens to the best of us.” he finalized, chest swelling with pride once he saw how you were full-on beaming, puckering your lips like a silent sign for a kiss which he gladly provided.

“i love you” you mumbled against his mouth.

“i love you more” he responded.

———

🏷: @spencervera @methblinds @marrymetheonott @adrianscumslut @wh0re4blaise @turn-to-page-394-please @fredshufflepuff @malfoysbiitch @saggyb1lls @selenesheart @metaraxia @dracoslittlesluttyprincess @dracomalfoys-wh0re @dlmmdl @fleursbabe @riddleswh0r3crux @lolooo22 @darlingmalfoy @littlemissnoname13 @i-love-scott-mccall @underappreciated-spoon-321 @steveharringtonswhore @dracosafety @dracoscum @riddleswh0rekrux @laceycallisto @slytherinbabess @lostaurorax @alexavolturisblog @s1ater @marauderswh0re1 @starless-starkov @black-rose-29 @tattooedkermit @purpleskymalfoy @emma67 @mypainistemporary @mauvea @teenwolfbitches28 @lissa-duh @paniicing @rav3nclawwhore @yagamigf

[check your private settings if i wasn’t able to tag you]

#draco malfoy imagine #draco malfoy angst #draco malfoy fluff #draco malfoy one shot #draco malfoy #dad!draco #draco malfoy x y/n #draco malfoy x reader #draco malfoy x you

[sugarbooger513]

JJK Men x Insecure chubby Fem!reader

Today has been hard to think of myself positively, and I have friends who struggle with the same thing, so I thought I could indulge some people with some very loved characters reminding us that, no matter our size, we're perfect.

Characters: Satoru Gojo, Toji Fushiguro, Choso Kamo, Kento Nanami

Warnings: Insecurities, body dysphoria, Toji's gets spicy (sue me), suggestive at the end of Nanami's, tooth rotting fluff.

Satoru Gojo

- Let's be completely honest here, this man rarely feels insecure, if he ever does.

- He wouldn't be able to sympathize, but that doesn't mean he doesn't care. In fact, it makes him care a lot more.

- His comfort methods aren't for everyone either, so be prepared. He's trying, give him that.

- Humor. That's what this man knows. Iykyk, this man deflects any form of trauma with his humor.

- If he notices it isn't working, then he'll come up with something else because he loves you. That love tells him that he has to try.

"Oh sweetie pie, I'm home!" Satoru's voice carries easily through the house, but you can't seem to care at the moment. Your cheeks still feel somewhat sticky from the tears that have fallen the past thirty minutes.

"Honey bun? I said I-" His voice cuts off, and you know you're caught. The bed shifts where your boyfriend lowers himself beside you. "Y/N, why are you crying?"

"I-I don't want to talk about it, Satoru." He removes his blindfold with a small chuckle. "Did your favorite anime character die?" "No." "You sure? You tend to sob when-" "I said I don't want to talk about it."

He freezes at the way you lash out at him. Yeah, something is actually wrong.

"Love," his voice softens in a way that shows how worried he is, "is there anything I can do to help? Anything at all?" You're quiet for a minute, but you eventually scoot closer to him.

"You want me to hold you?" All you manage is a nod before more tears slide down your cheeks. His long arms encase you securely against him. "I can do that as long as you need. I'm here for you, Y/N."

The two of you stay like that, you crying softly into his uniform while he runs his hand up and down your back.

Eventually, your sobs turn into small sniffles, and you finally speak. "I.. I'm sorry for snapping at your earlier, Sato." He smiles at the loving nickname. "No, baby, I'm sorry for joking around. You wanna talk about it now?"

"I just... I was thinking about.. how many girls looks so much better than I do." He scoffs. "You're kidding, right?" "Sato.." "No, I mean that. It isn't a joke. Baby, we've been through this since day one. I. Want. You."

You hide your now blushing face against his chest. "But.. I just don't understand.." "Look at me, baby." When you do, his bright blue eyes seem to shimmer. "You're the love of my life. You're gorgeous, stunning, beautiful, and every other synonym to those that I'll have to get Nanami to teach me because I will remind you everyday until it gets through your thick ass skull."

His hand comes up to rest on your chubby cheek, where he starts to wipe away the drying tears. "I. Love. You. So. Freaking. Much. Y/N." Each word is punctuated with a kiss on a different part of your face, until he eventually meets your lips.

The small giggles you let out makes him smile. "There's that beautiful laugh! Come on, why don't I pop some popcorn and we go watch whatever you want on the TV?" Your shit eating grin makes him snort a bit of laughter. "Even if it ends in a favorite character dying?"

"I don't mind having to hold you a bit longer."

Toji Fushiguro

- This is also someone I don't think can really empathize with you and your insecurities.

- However, when this man falls he falls HARD

- He will do anything in his power to make you feel better.

- Well

- Anything he can do while still seeming nonchalant about it

- Lets talk about how this man would take matters into his own hands, with his own hands, to make sure you know how loved you are. (You couldn't have expected just fluff with him, give me a break y'all.)

"Y/N," Toji kicks his shoes off carelessly at the door, "I'm home." He raises a confused eyebrow when he looks around the house. Plates from your movie night yesterday lay strewn about the coffee table, still.

'She never leaves dishes out. That's weird.'

He starts to walk around the house, worry filling his chest. It just isn't like you to leave a mess, or to not greet him at the door. There's no way someone came and did something to you, right? No one is THAT dumb, surely.

When he hears the small sniffles coming from your shared bedroom, he breathes a small sigh of relief. "Y/N? I'm coming in." He pushes the bedroom door open to see you cuddling his pillow while laying on your side.

His eyes widen at the sight of your body trembling from the small sobs. "Y/N?" He walks around the bed to kneel in front of you. "What happened?"

"N-Nothing Toji. Sorry, I-I know the house is a w-wreck." "Shut up about the damn house. I don't care. Why are you crying?"

You finally sit up, which lets him sit beside you on the bed. "I just.. Bad day." "Who do I need to stab?" "T-Toji?! You can't solve everything by stabbing!" He shrugs a bit. "You can try."

He smiles sweetly when you slap his arm. "That isn't funny." "Hmmm, but it made your cheeks flush." "Toji Fushiguro!" "Alright, alright. You wanna tell me what's wrong now?"

"I just.. looked in a mirror for too long, babe. Don't worry about-" "I'm lost. What do you mean you looked in one for too long?" You sigh, knowing he hates vague answers.

"My body is disgusting me today, Toji." He scrunches his eyebrows and leans in a bit closer to you. Your face heats up from the slight glare in his eyes.

"Looks the same to me." "Toji, I-" "Correct yourself." His already deep voice seems to drop even lower. Your entire body trembles. "S-Sir."

"Good girl. Now, let me get this straight. You don't think you're attractive." You shake your head, suddenly feeling the tears come back to your eyes. "Why not?" "J-Just.. my body.. it isn't.." "Skinny?" The word hurts your heart, but you nod, knowing he expects some sort of answer.

"So? You're exactly what I need, Y/N." You glance up to meet his loving gaze. "N-need?" "Don't play dumb. You know I need you. Now, we have to fix those insecurities."

He stands, offering his hand out to you. When you take it, he pulls you to your feet.

"Now," he groans as he lays back down on the bed, "I've had a tiring day at work. I want you to strip and come take a seat." "A-a seat?" His smirk tells you what you need to know before he elaborates. "I AM rather starved. Come on, I'm pretty impatient."

"To-Sir, I'm too.." "Heavy? Try again. You aren't getting out of this." He snaps his fingers, and the sound runs deep into your core. His eyes watch you hungrily as you start to get out of your pants.

"Now, for every one of your orgasms, I want to hear 'I'm Toji's pretty princess.' Understand?" "Y-yes sir."

You have no idea what posses you, but you finally let out you own witty comment. "You could at least take me to dinner first."

"You cheeky brat, don't worry. I have plans for your meal."

Hope you don't mind being hoarse for a while. You had to repeat just how pretty you were a number of times.

Choso Kamo

- SWEETEST MOTHER FUCKER I SWEAR

- He doesn't see a single flaw in you, honestly.

- Plus, he doesn't really understand beauty standards. All he knows is he loves every inch of you.

- Nothing goes unloved by this big ass baby.

- You crying would probably bring him to tears because he feeds off your emotion.

- But there is no doubt this man will do anything and everything to see your smile again.

- A true king who just wants his queen as happy as she makes him.

He left you for maybe an hour. Maybe. Choso just had to run and pick up a movie from Yuji.

"Angel, Yuji said that we have to-" He drops the movie the instant he sees tears in your eyes. "L-love? What happened?"

He rushes to your side and wastes no time wrapping you in his strong embrace. Your hands grip his shirt in a feeble attempt to pull him closer.

"What happened? Do you need something? A doctor?" His eyes are scanning your body for any signs of pain. His hands running gently over your back, arm, sides, but everything seems normal.

"I-I'm okay, Cho." "No, you aren't. Please, angel, don't lie to me." His own eyes start to fill with tears, but he tries to will them away. He knows he shouldn't be crying, but seeing you in any pain hurts him just as much.

"Cho, I just.. It's stupid." His large hands cup your face so you're forced to meet his eyes. "Nothing that makes you cry is stupid. Absolutely nothing, my love."

"I.. I tried to put on a hoodie of yours because I was cold." He blinks in confusion. "Was.. was it dirty?" "No I.. I stretched it out.." he tilts his head.

"Is that all?" You nod, but even more tears come to your eyes. "I just hate how big I am.. I thought you would find it cute to come home and see me in your clothes but.. I just messed them up.." He stands, suddenly walking into the kitchen. "C-Cho?"

"I bought some of your favorite ice cream. You know, the kind you always crave on your period. I figure we can cuddle and you can enjoy it while we watch a movie."

"I- I don't really want anything to eat." He smiles, still grabbing it and a spoon. "I know, but just in case. Listen," he places the carton on the table next to you, "you're gorgeous. Every part of you just screams beauty. Nothing could ever change that. Not your size, not you stretching out a stupid hoodie, not you crying, nothing."

He opens the carton, only to get a spoonful out and kneel in front of you. "Open up, angel." You do as he says and allow him to feed you the ice cream. You can't help but smile as you eat it.

His index finger wipes a few old tears from your cheeks. "There's that smile I love. Now, I think we need a movie and some cuddles. How does that sound?" You can only nod, absolutely floored by how much Choso truly loves you.

No more negative thoughts came to your mind while you laid against his chest. He even took a few times to feed you more ice cream throughout the movie.

Oh yeah, he totally bought new hoodies in a bigger size so you could wear them around the house without fear of stretching them.

Kento Nanami

- KING ENERGY

- You can't tell me this man doesn't want someone who acts as his pillow. Come on.

- That being said, Nanami knows how it is to be insecure.

- Whether it's over body insecurity or not, that can be argued either way. Still, insecurities aren't something he's ignorant about.

- On days where you can't seem to like your body, he'll do whatever you need.

- Need to be alone? No problem. Need someone to talk to you? Covered. Just need to be told you're loved? He'll tell you as many times as it takes.

- However, he can't help but be blunt. That's just who he is.

- He does it out of love for you, though. He never wants you to believe something that isn't true.

It's really hard for you and Nanami to get the same day off of work, and today was no different. Since you were the one working today, Nanami decided to take up cleaning the house and preparing dinner. He would also insist on doing the dishes, but he knew better. You never allow him to do all of the work.

He watched the clock hit five thirty and smiled. No doubt, that was your car he heard pull into the driveway. Now that you were home, he could surprise you by telling you that he managed to get the next five days off, which matched your schedule.

The front door opens, and he's quick to call out a "Welcome home, dear. Dinner will be done soon." He turns his body, preparing to catch you in his embrace as usual. However, all that happens is you call back, "Thanks, Ken."

His eyebrows furrow, and he quickly takes dinner off the stove so he can go check on you. He's not one to forget anniversaries or anything like that, so his mind is going through any possible reason you just called him Ken.

"Bad day at work, dear?" He wipes his hand on his apron as he comes around the corner. You were already sitting on the couch, eyes on your phone. "Yeah, I guess." "Okay," he sighs and sits beside you, "would you like to talk about it?" When you finally look at him, his eyes widen. Your eyes are puffy, as if you had been crying.

"Y/N.." "It's just coworker drama, Ken, don't worry too much about it." He scrunches his face. Those women you work with always pissed him off. He's noticed them staring at him whenever he brings you lunch. "Well, humor me a bit. What happened today?"

He just knows you can't resist gossiping with him after a work day. "I-I don't want to repeat it, Ken." The worried look in his eyes makes you whimper. "What?"

"I'm not used to you calling me 'Ken' at home." "Sorry, honey. It's nothing you did." He smiles softly and reaches to cup one of your cheeks in his hand. "Are you sure you don't want to tell me?" You do. God, you do because you know you'll cry again and he'll be here to hold you through it.

"They started talking about you." "Me?" "Yeah," you look at your hands, already feeling your chest tighten, "and started laughing at how you're.. settling for someone who is as big as I am.."

Nanami's soft looks suddenly turns harsh. How dare they say stuff like that? What's worse is he's sure they knew you could hear them!

"Really?" When you nod, a tear falls onto your lap. "It just.. really hurt knowing that I'm not the only one who thinks that." "Y/N.." He pulls you into a hug with a soft sigh.

"Don't think like that. Dear, if I wanted anything different than what I have now, you would know it." You sigh and cuddle into his warm embrace. "I know, but-" "But nothing, my love. I love you, only you, forever you. Do you understand?" You glance up and he places a soft kiss on your forehead.

"Yeah.. I love you too, Kento." "I have an idea." "Uh huh?" His smirk has you worried. "Well, we both have the next five days off.." "We do?!"

The excitement in your voice has him chuckling. "There's my pretty laugh. Yes, we do. I'm thinking on your first day back.. you go in with a ring on your finger."

You blink in confusion. "K-Kento, you don't-" "Oh I do. Am I the person to joke about wanting to marry you?" Your eyes start to fill, yet again, with tears. However, these tears make Nanami also tear up a bit.

"Are you... asking..?" "I have a ring just for you in my suit jacket, Y/N. Just say you'll marry me." He isn't really expecting you to jump on him, so when you do, he falls from the couch to the floor. "You know I'll marry you, Ken!"

The two of you share a long kiss, complete with tears and laughter. "Well, now that that's decided. I think we should get a head start on something." "What would that be?"

He stands before securing you in his arms bridal style. "The Prehoneymoon." "That isn't a thing, honey." He smirks before playfully smacking your ass. "For you, Mrs. Nanami, anything is possible."

@katgalle @savonline

#jjk headcanons #nanami kento x y/n #toji fushiguro x reader #choso x reader #satoru gojo x reader #nanami fluff #toji fluff #choso fluff #gojo fluff

[yandere-sins]

Remember that Beast!Reader fic with the yandere prince? I loved that one! Can I please request ‘Tears’ from your prompt list for this please?

I was thinking that maybe a few years pass by while the reader is still stuck in beast form, but during that time the person appointed as an alternative caretaker for the reader (obviously the prince can’t be around ALL the time if he has to maintain his kingdom and keep up his image) slowly starts forming a friendly relationship and with even something as small as a forehead kiss to the beast, it is enough to break the curse. But the two don’t get enough time to celebrate before the prince barges in👀

I’m uncomfortable with nsfw and anything too sexual but I enjoy the creepiness and horror that follows a yandere character so I hope you can write it like that please😭🥺 Oh! And please let there be some hope that the reader will either be saved or she saves herself. Even better if the reader decides that she wants to save herself and the boy who broke her curse🤩

Thank you! So sorry if I’m requesting a lot😭🙏

Oh, my sweet little anons, when was the last time I gave you a happy end, huh? But thanks for requesting a continuation, I am glad you all enjoyed it so much ^-^ What a good idea you had there!

Tears - “Sweetie, don’t cry.. they didn’t love you as much as I did.. I’ll help you over the heart break.” 

»»———————— ♡ ————————««

Panting, you urged your legs forward, always one step further than you made at a time. The chilly night air burnt in your lungs, and your bare feet were icy and wet from the forest ground, but neither you nor the person holding your hand so gently in his thought about stopping. Only wrapped in a big rag, you should have been cold, but when he squeezed your hand encouragingly, you believed you could manage it all.

It hadn’t been too long since you started your way on foot down the hill the old castle sat upon. Sooner or later, the prince would find out you escaped, and surely, they would also notice your Beloved having fled the scene. There had been no reason for him to stay. Losing you was enough to get sentenced to death, his lifeless body thrown into a bog rather than buried. So why wouldn’t he leave with you? There certainly was no reason for him to stay in the wretched service of the king. 

But sooner or later, they would come for you, that much was sure.

So, you two had to hurry, but even so, you couldn’t keep from smiling, especially when he looked back over his shoulder, his warm, green eyes shining without any regrets. You two had known each other far too little, but he never once hesitated to show you his affection for you, even when you still were the hideous atrocity that you had turned into to escape the prince for the first time.

Perhaps, everything that happened was fate. Even if it had been harsh and awful, it happened so that you two could meet and start a better life together somewhere new. Even if you wished now that you two could have met under different circumstances, now, you didn’t regret your life from before anymore. Now, you could simply look ahead to the future that waited for you.

Or so you thought; you should have known better.

The soaring of arrows pierced through the silence of the night. One hit the bark of the tree before you, fire spreading from its alcohol-soaked peak. Your eye widened, as did you’re companions, and you soon found yourself ducking as another one flew over your heads.

You couldn’t spare a second to look back over your shoulder as you two urged onwards, picking up the pace. Your legs were tired and shaking, but you knew that you had to go faster and faster, or else you or he would get hit. It were moments like these in which you wished you were still a beast. One which could run faster than any arrow. One that could fight and protect what was important to you. But that was no longer, true love’s kiss having sealed that specific fate already.

It was too late when you realized that the arrows so far had not been to stop you two from getting away. Instead, as they began to light up tree after tree, you realized they were there to banish the secrecy of the forest and make the dark disappear. At the same time, they made you two run into the directions your followers wanted you to go. If you looked back now, you knew who you’d see, no robbers smart enough to roam the forest around the prince’s castle, so there really was no reason for any other armed party to hunt you down.

And yet, you did, too afraid that if you didn’t, things would go way worse. 

The moment you looked over your shoulder, another arrow flew past you, grazing your cheek. You knew where it would hit way before your companion cried out in pain, his hand letting go of yours as a reflex. He sank to his knee for a moment, cursing under his breath as you hurried to his side, seeing the arrow lodged in his shoulder. “Oh god,” you stammered as you sank next to him, hands hovering over the wound. “W-We can fix it, I’m sure, we just have to--!”

“There’s no time!” he interrupted you firmly as if he hadn’t just been shot with an arrow. Without wasting even another second, he got up again, grabbed you by the wrist, and moved forward. You caught a glimpse at his face, determination brimming from his features, but pearls of sweat collected at his forehead. He was clearly in pain, showing it in the way he held his own shoulder with his free hand, but he hadn’t given up yet. He would move on until you two were safe, and though you sympathized with his pain, you were so thankful he didn’t give up yet.

You two ran as fast as you could, but soon you couldn’t ignore the sound of armor behind you anymore, hooves trotting closer while torches lit up the forest more and more. It was almost spooky that no words were muttered, and you expected someone to call orders every now and then, but you had seen the clothes of your followers briefly; you knew who they were. The prince’s guards, clad in the finest silver and trained to the point of being nothing more than human dogs. They ceased speaking if not absolutely necessary, their eyes were soulless, and their hearts without a hint of benevolence. Them being after you could only mean one thing.

The prince wanted you back.

Another arrow getting stuck in the tree you just passed. You knew everything they did wasn’t fun but coldly calculated tactics. They wouldn’t hurt you. They couldn’t. Your cheek bleeding would probably cause one of them to get degraded to a chair for three months at least, so they really couldn’t afford to hurt you more seriously. But they did know who they could hurt you with. Someone whose pain would hurt you more than your own.

The next arrow missed completely, lost in the leaves on the ground. You two were running out of all the adrenaline you had, slowly and surely having exhaustion catch up to you. No! Please no! You begged the entities above that this wouldn’t be the end! There was so much more to live for, so much to see and experience! You wanted to be with your former caretaker, the only one who ever took you and your feelings seriously enough. You two could build a house and keep far away from the hustle and bustle of the cities, farming and taking care of livestock until the end of time. So please! Don’t let this be the end of it!

However, against your expectations, the one to collapse first was him. This time, the arrows didn’t miss, one hitting him in the lower back, one scarily close to his spine. Teardrops pearled from your cheeks as you fell into to mud with him, your hands scrapping along the roots and stones of the ground as you crawled back to where he laid, softly whimpering. Reaching for an arrow, you wanted to pull it out in desperation, but he began to cry out in pain before you could even start pulling.

“LEAVE!” he screamed. “LEAVE AND RUN!”

You couldn’t hold back the sobs hearing these words. “Please...” his hand reached for yours as he tried his best to look up to you. “Go, find a safe place to hide! Leave for another country and never come back!”

“No...” you sobbed, bringing one hand covered in mud and blood to your face. “I don’t want to leave you...”

“They are after you, not me,” he tried to reassure you, but you knew better. The sounds of their heavy footsteps drew closer and closer, and finding him, they wouldn’t hesitate to kill this ‘traitor’. If you went, then he’d die. But if you stayed and got caught, he’d die as well. No choice you could make would end happily for the both of you. “Please, go. I want you to-- ARGH!” Interrupted by his own scream, you began to panic, calling his name and shaking his arm, only to look up as a shadow was cast over you.

“[Name],” the prince sighed, relief showing in his face. He had this small, exhausted smile on his lips, happiness in his features as he looked at you. However, the moment he looked down at your companion, his face began to contort into a hateful grimace, his leg lifting once more to give your Beloved’s back a not-so-gentle kick. “No! Stop!” you cried, latching onto his leg as the kicks came down, your partner’s screams echoing through the forest.

“Don’t worry, I will get rid of the scoundrel who kidnapped you. I will save you! Just like I always do!”

“No! You’re hurting him! Stop it! Please... Please stop!”

Never had you imagined that you’d ever find yourself so low again that you’d beg the prince for something. Before, it had been for your life, but now, it was for the life of the only person that really mattered to you. “Oh, Sweetheart,” the prince cooed, his fingers finding their way under your chin, pulling your face up to meet his eyes. “Don’t cry... he didn’t love you as much as I do. I’ll help you over the heartbreak once we’re done here.”

The prince let go roughly as he pulled his sword from his sheath as you fell to the ground next to your partner. For a moment, time seemed to stop as you stood up in a matter of seconds. Panicked, you decided to throw yourself in front of the sword instead, but a hand grabbed yours before you could. Looking down at your Beloved, smiling warmly and encouraging as he muttered the final words you’d hear from him.

“Go.”

It was like he set you free, even if your definition of free originally included him. “Eh, Darling?!” you heard as you took off in a second spurt of adrenaline, the prince screaming your name after you. But your mind completely shut off the moment you passed the last lit-up arrow, sinking back into the darkness. Everything was blurry, your vision stained with your tears that wouldn’t go away no matter how much you rubbed your eyes with your dirty hands.

Your feet must have started bleeding as you kept running faster and faster, but you gave them no mind, not even feeling the pain. All you felt was the wound in your throbbing heart, something that the prince couldn’t heal no matter how much he believed he could. You wanted to understand your former caretaker’s action, telling you to go rather than defend him. If you had been in his place, surely, you had done the same. But it was as if you were the one who got betrayed by yourself by running away. By giving up on something hopeless, you felt like you were betraying everything you had ever stand for. How pathetic you were, running, trying to get the better future you had hoped to build with him.

Next thing you knew, you stumbled as the ground gave away to a slope before you, your body tumbling down the wet leaves and sturdy roots, your skim getting scratched by the branches of bushes all around you. It was pure luck that your fingers closed around one big tree root the moment they did; otherwise, you surely would have fallen from the cliff that opened up beneath you, instead of just hanging on to it now.

Only now your ears regained their function, the rushing of waves sounding far too deep and far too rough beneath you as to simply be a river. Had you run all the way to the shore? Was it the big sea beneath you? Either it had been closer than you thought, or you did develop some superhuman abilities after changing into a beast.

Groaning, you tried to pull yourself back over the edge, the slightly forward-leaning stone not being any help in rescuing yourself. Even more so, you had to realize the light of torches drawing closer and closer by the second, while you still struggled to escape the death by falling into the unruly water from a great height.

“[Name]!” you heard the screech of your name, genuine worry resounding from it. The prince’s face was the last thing you wanted to see, especially as he looked so damn horrified at the sight of you barely holding on to the cliff. “Don’t move! I’ll pull you up!” he called as he slit down the slope as best as he could without falling himself until he reached you. It was strange. You should have been happy that you wouldn’t be dying. That someone would save you from this horrific fate.

But all you felt was pure despair.

If he pulled you up, then that would be it. He’d take you back, lock you up again and do as he pleased with you. Who knew if you’d ever get a chance on escaping again, especially if he made an example out of your previous companion about what would happen if anyone ever helped you. You’d have nothing left but to live your life as a mere plaything, captured by the prince that was so beloved by everyone, and you didn’t want to think about all the things he’d do to you now that you were human again.

His hands reached out, and you noticed them faintly in your vision. Your decision fell only seconds before he could grab you by the arms. It was too dark to see, too dark to even speculate how deep it was, but you decided it was better than becoming an empty shell of a person if you stayed with the prince.

No matter what would await you in the depths down below, it couldn’t be worse than being a subject to his twisted, self-righteous love, you decide. Letting go was easier than you thought, making you realize your body must understand this situation very well even if it might cost it its life. The face of the prince as you slipped from his grasp was a priceless last sight to see before you closed your eyes, awaiting the inevitable.

Until your back hit the water, engulfing you wholly like the hungry, desperate maw of an animal. Deeper and deeper until it was everywhere, and only then you opened your eyes again for one last glimpse of the blurred light above.

#prince #yandere prince #yandere!prince #yandere #yandere imagines #yandere headcanons #yandere scenarios #yandere fanfiction #yandere writing #yandere oneshot #yandere drabble #yandere x reader #yandere x darling #Yandere TW #lovelove prompts #Anonymous

[gojo-x-reader]

Red String of Fate

Relationship(s): Gojo Satoru x F!Reader

Warnings: slight swearing, slight manga spoilers

Tags: Soulmate AU

AO3 Link: here

Words: ~2.3k

Request:  “Hello I'm actually not sure if I'm supposed to put put my request here? well, if its not supposed to be here, then please ignore it. Anyways, can I ask of you to share your thoughts on Soulmate AU w/ Gojo around 12 to 16 yrs old where he can see signs of who's soulmate is whos meeting his possible fiance who turns out to be his soulmate (I asked that age bc first meeting! he's from a noble clan and its really weird he doesn't have fiance or something) Sorry if its confusing and Thank you!”

Gojo Satoru was twelve years old when his Six Eyes began showing him the red strings of fate. Every person’s string was different. Some of them stretched on for what seemed like an eternity, almost seemingly never reaching the other end. Others were shorter, connected to the person they stood next to (whether they knew of their existence or not). And unfortunately, on some, Satoru could see the end of the string, but it dragged behind someone, unconnected to another human.

Satoru had told his mother about the strings as they appeared. Those are strings that lead one to their soulmate, she had explained to him. Everyone has a soulmate, but not everyone is in love with theirs. There are different kinds of love in this world.

Satoru’s parents were soulmates, but they did not love each other; that much was clear from how his father treated his mother. He never hit her or anything, but he didn’t treat her like an equal; more of a vessel that gave birth to an heir. He only interacted with his wife when necessary, the two not even sleeping in the same room at night.

For that reason, Satoru was scared to meet his own soulmate. He had one, that much was clear by the bright red string tied around his left pinky that stretched on for kilometers. He didn’t want to end up like his parents.

Gojo Satoru was fourteen years old when his father announced that he would be marrying you, a girl from the Kamo clan. You were the youngest daughter in the secondary branch of the family, just a year younger than him. Tomorrow, the two of you would meet for the first time.

You were nervous about tomorrow, for several reasons. Number one, you had heard the rumors about Gojo Satoru--the first member of the Gojo clan to be born with the Six Eyes and  Limitless, the two inherited techniques of his clan, in a hundred years or so. That meant, in a nutshell, he was much stronger than you could ever hope to be, as someone who hadn’t even inherited the Kamo clan technique (which is why you were being shipped off to another clan). Number two, you had heard rumors of his personality, somehow both cold and carefree at the same time, but one hundred percent a horrible personality to be combined with your timid and quiet nature. And number three, you almost resented him because now you were stuck in an arranged marriage and you saw how well that worked out for your parents.

Tomorrow arrived, and the maids dressed you up in the finest of kimonos, hair ornaments, and even makeup. You weren’t particularly into girly interests, more interested in training for when you enter Kyoto High in a few years; the feeling of foundation and lipstick felt foreign on your face.

You arrived at the main hall, escorted by your uncle (the head of the Kamo family), your parents, and a few maids. You normally didn’t wear a kimono often, except for very special occasions, and you have never been in one for this long. Graceful, you were not, and tripped a few times because of the geta chosen for you to wear with the kimono. Each time, the maids were swift to grab ahold of your arms and stabilize you. They even helped you sit down as you awaited your future fiance and his parents.

Gojo Satoru’s parents arrived before he did. They apologized on behalf of their son, citing that he was on he was back from a mission. You were jealous, he wasn’t even in high school yet and was already being assigned missions. While you weren’t powerful in comparison to Gojo Satoru himself, you could still hold your own against your older cousins and had a decent amount of cursed energy.

Gojo Satoru’s parents seemed nice enough, but the chemistry between them resembled that of your own parents; they tolerated each other, but that was it--no love, no spark, nothing. You wondered if his parents were also put into an arranged marriage. You could sympathize, but you also secretly hoped that the two of you wouldn’t end up like your parents.

You poured tea for your future in-laws, hands shaking slightly, a few drops of tea spilling. As you sat the teapot down, in came Gojo Satoru himself, dressed in a simple black kimono, but the sash was not tied tightly. His hair was touseled, and stained with either dirt or blood (you hoped it was dirt). Despite his unkempt look, he was gorgeous, with bright white hair and eyes blue like the sky matching neither of his parents. Despite the color differences, he took mostly after his mother with her soft features.

When he made eye contact with you, he froze, looking down at his left hand, and then back to you. Before you could even greet him, he immediately fled the room, both his parents calling after him, leaving after him.

That was a bit painful; your first time meeting him and he leaves immediately seeing your face. You weren’t sure how your self-esteem would recover after that blow.

About twenty minutes later, Gojo Satoru’s parents came back, empty-handed without their son. He refused to meet you, but they promised he would come around eventually. So, your family said your goodbyes and left the Gojo estate.

Once your family arrived back at the Kamo estate, your uncle slapped you across the face, blaming you for what transpired with the Gojo family. It was your looks, your lack of femininity that obviously scared your fiance away. Not even makeup or the finest materials could fix it.

So what, if you weren’t “feminine”? Being “feminine” doesn’t exorcise curses, now does it?

You grumbled an apology, leaving to your room and locking the door behind you. You started crying, ruining the makeup that took the maids hours to do, but not even bothering to care. It took a while to get out of the kimono, but you changed into sweatpants and a large T-shirt and left the offensive material on the floor. Neither of your parents bothered to check in on you, but the head maid did. She cleaned up your makeup and brought you some of your comfort foods. She was more of a mother to you than your own, and you were always grateful for her in your life.

The next time you would meet Gojo Satoru, there would be hell to pay for embarrassing you like this.

Gojo Satoru was sixteen years old when he next met his fiancee, this time on the battlefield rather than mitigated by their families. Kyoto was short by one for the Kyoto Goodwill Event, so you were allowed to join as the sole first year. You were glad for the opportunity because that meant you could finally pay back Gojo Satoru for the embarrassment you felt two years ago.

You were told you had great potential as a jujutsu sorcerer, already being promoted to Semi-Grade 2 as you entered Kyoto High. Of course, you weren’t even close to your fiance who was promoted immediately to Special Grade upon entering Tokyo High. While the power difference between a Semi-Grade 2 and a Special Grade was immense, you weren’t going to let that stop you. You held a lot of pain in your heart for how Gojo Satoru rejected you from one glance, refusing to ever see you again that day.

This was Gojo Satoru’s first Goodwill Event, as last year he was only a first-year and the spots were full from the second and third years last year. Since last year, Kyoto had won, the event was held at your school. Not a single second or third year at Kyoto believed they even had a chance to win this year, as Tokyo has not one but two Special Grade students this year participating in the event. There was only one Grade 1 sorcerer on the Kyoto side, a third-year, while the others were a Grade 2 or Semi-Grade 2. The goal was to stick together; power in numbers. While the two monsters Gojo Satoru and Geto Suguru could take out the entire Kyoto team singlehanded most likely, the others on the Tokyo team were rather weak, at only Grade 3.

So, the Kyoto side would stick together, avoid conflict. The goal was to exorcise curses, not necessarily fight each other.

The six of you stuck together, exorcising curse after curse. It was strange, as several minutes passed and you hadn’t even encountered one of the Grade 3 Tokyo sorcerers. You felt the hairs on the back of your neck stick up, then a voice behind you announcing, “Hello~”

You turned around quickly, barely able to avoid an attack. There he was, Gojo Satoru in the flesh. He was much, much taller than last time you saw him, now towering over you like a tree. On his (admittedly) handsome face was a smug grin, his bright baby blues peeking out behind round black shades. He held his hands in his pockets in a carefree manner. Almost not like he just attacked you and your senpai.

You glanced back briefly. While you were somehow lucky to avoid the attack from your fiance, your senpai behind you was not. The attack left them unconscious, back against a tree and blood running down their head.

While reading headfirst toward your fiance probably was not a good idea, only rage flowed through your head. You may not have inherited your clan’s cursed technique, you inherited a similar technique but more closely to your mother’s Zenin clan’s technique. You could manipulate shadows, not to summon shikigami, but rather to form weapons.

You summoned the shadows to form a sword, raising it to strike Gojo Satoru. But it reached just centimeters away from his body before stopping, almost like an invisible forced kept it in place, unable to move it further. You stared at your hand in surprise.

“Now, now, is that any way to greet your fiance?” Gojo Satoru asked, grin widening.

“Are you really though?” You asked, jumping back cautiously before he could ready another attack. “You didn’t even want to meet me two years ago.”

He placed his hand onto his chin in thought. “Hmm, I suppose that’s true. Tell you what, land a hit on me and I’ll tell you everything.”

“Bastard,” you called to him, switching your shadow weapon to a bow and arrow, pulling back the shadow string, and releasing it toward him.

Gojo Satoru held up two fingers as the arrow stopped in mid-air, much like your sword earlier. “I don’t think that’s my name, sweetie. Bad luck for you today. Seems like we’re just a bad match.”

You were frustrated. How the hell was he doing that?

A siren sounded out through the forest. The match was over; Tokyo won, only because Gojo Satoru had distracted the Kyoto group while Geto Suguru handled the stranglers and the remaining Grade 3 sorcerers were able to exorcise more curses than your side.

Gojo Satoru disappeared before your eyes, but you heard a whisper in your ear from him, “I’m feeling generous. An hour before the individual matches tomorrow, meet me in the garden. I’ll explain everything.”

So, that’s how you found yourself out in the garden at 8 am, shivering from the morning chill. The garden was huge, but somehow you figured your fiance would be able to find you.

“Yo,” he called out, startling you from your thoughts. “I didn’t think you’d actually come.”

“I don’t think highly of you,” you admitted. “You embarrassed me two years ago and my uncle thinks I’m a disgrace to the family now.”

“Yikes, that seems a little harsh. Not like I annulled the engagement or anything. I just was going through some good ole teenage angst then, nothing more.”

“Still going through some ‘teenage angst’?” you questioned.

“Oh, you know, just the normal amount. I died a few months ago and it reset me back to typical teenage angst levels.”

“You what? ”

“But that’s a whole different story. We’re talking about why I left two years ago after seeing you.” He brought a finger up to his lips. “This is top secret. Can’t tell anyone.”

You nodded.

“So, my Six Eyes. I’m sure you’ve heard all about them, being in the Kamo clan and all. It turns out I can also see the red string of fate that brings soulmates together. My parents are soulmates, but they have a shitty relationship.”

“Okay.” You could relate, your parents also have a shitty relationship.

“And they’re the only pair of soulmates I’ve ever known. So,” he grasped his left pinky in yours, “when I saw that red string of mine connect to yours, I panicked. Didn’t want to be forced into a relationship with my own soulmate and end up like my parents. Call me a sappy romantic, but I wanted to meet you and get to know each other on our own, not because we’re in an arranged marriage.��

You couldn’t help but blush. Here was Gojo Satoru, your fiance, one of the strongest jujutsu sorcerers in the world, proclaiming that you were his soulmate. It seemed ridiculous, but you didn’t think he was lying. Suddenly, all the resentment for that time a few years ago left.

You took your pinky out of his, looking away from him in embarrassment, then stated, “There’s nothing that says we can’t do all that while still being engaged. Lets.” You took a deep breath, looking straight at those brilliant blue eyes past his sunglasses, then continued. “Let start over. Get to know each other the right way and see where this takes us.”

He grinned. It was the first time you saw him smile with pure happiness behind it. “I like that idea, soulmate.”

#gojo satoru #gojo satoru x reader #gojo x reader #jjk #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen #soulmate au

[lis-likes-fics]

Intoxicated

Pairing: Carlisle Cullen x Reader Word Count: 7,877 words. JFC. I know, I know Warnings: Alcohol use, drug use, accidental overdose, and a lot of angst. Author’s Note: Okay.... I know. I got a little bit carried away again. Bite me. This is part two of Concussed. I’m super happy with it.

~~~~~

Y/N sighed as she stepped out of her car. Carlisle gave it to her after the accident, her car had exploded after the wreck. She didn't think Jacob would be able to fix that.

She just came back from her day at work at the Carver Café. She'd already graduated and decided to get a job for the money, but mostly just to keep her busy during the day when Carlisle was at work.

She locked the car and walked up to her door, digging in her bag for her keys while moving a strand of hair from her face. When her hands wrapped around the keys, she unlocked her door and walked inside, kicking off her shoes while closing the door behind her.

She set her bag on the table, picking up her phone to call Carlisle after her long day of work. The phone rang a few times as she waited, taking the dollar bills and loose change from her bag and moving it to her money jars.

When the phone didn't pick up, she furrowed her brow and called again. He never missed a call.

When the phone didn't pick up the second time, she started to get worried. She walked to her kitchen, stopping at the door as she looked at the counter. There was a paper, a letter.

She eyed it, wondering what the letter could have said. She saw the flawless signature at the bottom, Carlisle.

Why didn't he call or tell her in person?

She picked up the note and read it carefully:

"My dearest, Y/N,

There are no words to express the gratitude I feel in my heart because our hearts have come to dwell together as one. You are my life, my heart, my soul. You are my one true love. The day we met was fate. You are my destiny. I love you more today than I did yesterday, and I will love you more tomorrow than I do today. Loving you is the only thing that makes my life worth living now.

I love you and I always will until my existence may come to an end. I want to hold you in my arms and tell you how much I love you and how much you really mean to me.

You gave me comfort and confidence where there was doubt. I want to be there when you need to talk. I want to be the comfort for your soul. I want to love you in the way you deserve to be loved. I need you to be a part of my life. All the things that I told you about how I felt and how you make me feel were true.

But I can't be here for you without putting you in danger. You are my love, my life, my heart, my soul, and my everything. If I were to be the reason you get hurt, or worse, I would never be able to forgive myself.

So my family and I are leaving. In time, I hope you are able to move on and find someone who makes you feel whole, who makes you feel better than I ever could. You are a strong woman, so you don't need me. I know that you have the strength to pull through this so you can live a full, happy, and safe life.

I'm sorry for any pain I have ever caused you, I'm sorry for any pain I may cause you. I love you, and I will always love you.

Goodbye, my love.

Forever yours, Carlisle."

Her brain worked to process the letter, trying to let the words sink in. When they did, they hit her hard. It was worse than the car crash, the pain sinking into her body, followed by a cry.

Her legs came out from under her, unable to hold her up and support her. Tears sprang to her eyes and were instantly free falling. A strangled cry left her throat and she dropped the note.

Her head was buried in her legs. She didn't know how long she was there crying. The pain blinded and deafened her. All she could hear was his voice repeating "We're leaving."

Her whole being hurt, she felt her heart being torn in two.

He called her strong. He said she would be able to move on, in time.

He must have not realized just how self-destructive she was. He had become her life and he was leaving her. How could she move on from that?

"I don't want to lose you." Those were the words he told her that same night. Why was he leaving her without those words hanging in the air?

Why would he leave her?

~

Months had passed. Y/N was a wreck. She attempted going to the Cullen's house to see if it was some sick joke, but she could bring herself to go. She couldn't face the emptiness of that place.

She tried to check up on Bella, but she decided against it. Her mental health was crumbling, she would never be able to help Bella.

Y/N focused on work at the diner. Everyone noticed how lifeless she had become in such a short period of time. She was visibly deteriorating.

When she wasn't at the diner working herself to death, taking double shifts, triple shifts, quadruple shifts to keep her distracted, she was at her home with a bottle of something strong.

Since she lived next to the Chief, she was one of the people in town who people usually knew. Charlie had some sort of guardian responsibility over her after her grandfather died, people knew her.

Because of this, she had to drive all the way to Port Angeles to get her bottles of sweet drunkenness. The longer she was sober, the longer she had to deal with thinking of him.

She didn't want to think of him. Thinking of him meant thinking of him leaving her. Which led to some eternal outlet that would lead to the end of her existence.

She didn't like thinking of him.

If he would just come back to her, she would finally be okay. All she needed was for him to come back.

But that would never happen. He left, he's gone.

Y/N plopped down on her couch, a glass in her hand and a bottle sitting on the table for her refill. She searched through the TV to find something to watch. There had to be something to distract her, something to watch drunk. She knew better after learning from her mistake the first time she got drunk with the door unlocked and her keys in hand.

It was a long day of waiting for her bus back home. She had no idea how she wound up in Montana, but she did.

There was a knock on her door and she groaned loudly, hiding the alcohol in the cabinet under the kitchen sink, putting the jug of dish soap in front of it.

There was another knock on the door and she spoke in the clearest voice she could manage, "I'm coming."

She sighed and grabbed a bottle of water and a mint before opening the door. Bella stood on the other side, bags under her eyes from her lack of sleep and that spark she used to hold gone. Y/N was surprised to see her out of her house or school, she wasn't really active these days.

"Hey, Y/N. Sorry to come over like this," she said, looking at her.

Y/N shook her head, "No problem. Come in."

"Thanks," Bella mumbled as she walked into the house. Y/N scratched her head before closing the door, seeing Bella standing awkwardly in the world.

"Please, sit down," she told her, having a seat herself on her couch.

Bella took the offer, sitting in the chair next to the couch. Y/N asked hesitantly, "How are you holding up?"

Bella chuckled humorlessly, "I don't really want to talk about that."

"Yeah," Y/N muttered, "Me, neither." She stood with a sigh, headed to the kitchen to get a snack or something. "How are your nightmares?" Y/N asked, tripping slightly when she got to the threshold of the kitchen. She muttered a curse word under her breath.

"Are you okay?" Bella asked, concerned about the slip up. Y/N nodded, "Yeah, I'm fine." Despite her best efforts, the slight slur in her tone had managed to escape as she grabbed a bag of chips and poured it in a bowl, taking it back to the living room.

She sat back down on the couch and Bella nodded strangely, "My nightmares are…just the same as they usually are."

Y/N sighed, "Yeah, Charlie tells me sometimes. Says he's wearied- worried about you. Wants me to try and help but… if it's anything like me… I won't be able to."

Bella furrowed her brows, looking at her closer. Bella blinked and shook her head, "Y/N, are you...drunk?"

Y/N looked at her, shaking her head quickly, "What? No! No, I'm not-I'm not drunk. I'm fine… I'm perfectly…completely…fine."

She looked down at a small dog figurine on the table to distract her before looking up to meet Bella's gaze. Tears began to make their way to her eyes, one managing to slip as her lip quivered slightly. She sighed and nodded slowly, "Yeah. I'm… a mess."

She couldn't stop the tears now, so she opted to ignore them. A downside to her being drunk was the spontaneous decision to either be void of emotion or ambushed with it. She always either ended up crying herself to sleep or staying up almost all night long before passing out with an hour of sleep under her belt.

She wiped a tear away, "I don't know what to do. Sobriety makes me think of him and I don't want to do that…"

Bella understood, nodding her slowly as she turned away, her own eyes filling with tears as she sympathized her pain with her own.

"I don't have anyone. My parents are dead, my grandfather is dead. I don't have any other family and I'm here alone," Y/N shook her head, sniffling and turning away from Bella completely.

Bella was always easy to talk to. She didn't judge, she didn't criticize. She would sit and listen and just be there, as a friend should.

Bella nodded, "For what it's worth, you'll always have Charlie and me."

Y/N took in those words. Charlie was always right next door when she needed him, no matter how little that was. He was there, his door was always open. Bella knew the same things Y/N did, so they could empathize with each other. They'd become somewhat family to her.

She just wished she could have her life back. He left with that.

"Thanks, Bells," Y/N told her gently. She looked around her house before her eyes landed on Bella again as she wiped her face, "Uh, can we keep this under wrap? No one in town knows and I want to keep it that way."

Bella nodded, "Won't tell a soul."

"Thanks."

For quite a while that night, the two allowed each other company and open ears. It was nice to have someone who knew, someone who knew.

No one else knew about her relationship with him. She was just out of high school, it would be strange if they got together when he was supposed to be in his late twenties to early thirties, at least to the humans.

Y/N fell asleep sometime after Bella had. It was late and they were both tired, Y/N especially.

When Bella started screaming in her sleep, Y/N bolted up quickly, easing her awake and telling her she was dreaming. Bella apologized heavily and Y/N told her not to worry. She found herself having nightmares of her own some nights.

Bella went back home after she'd woken up and Y/N poured herself a glass before trying to catch sleep of her own.

She went to her bed after cleaning up and was able to pass out from exhaustion. When she dreamt, she couldn't tell how much she wanted to.

Her dreams were the same for months.

~

"Y/N," her name was called by a voice she never thought she would hear again. She looked around in search of the angelic voice she had missed so much, "Where are you?"

She ran, searching frantically. She couldn't find him, he wasn't anywhere in reach. All she could hear was her name being whispered, as if carried in the wind.

"Where are you? Please!" She called, desperate to see her love again. She needed him, she couldn't go on without him.

"Please! Carlisle, come back!" She called, the name falling off her lips like both honey and poison. She couldn't tell which one. It was a bittersweet taste that drove her mad to think about.

"Please!" She cried, "I need you!"

"Y/N," his voice was closer now. She turned to see him, afraid that, if she wasted time, he would be gone again.

Her breath caught in her throat, but she didn't feel any different. When she saw his face, it was somehow paler than it normally was. His eyes were dark and tired, his hair was a mess. She stared at him in shock.

She reached a hand out to touch him. But just as her hand touched his cheek, he was gone.

"No, Carlisle!" She yelled, panting as she woke in a cold sweat. Tears covered her face and sweat covered her body.

She bent over and sobbed, her face buried in her knees as she let out the pain she was feeling that curled in her chest like a snake coiled around its prey. Pain filled her head as her headache ripped through her with a vengeance from both the drunkenness and the tears.

It was hard to breathe through her tears when everything hurt so much. It felt like she was being ripped open from the inside. Saying his name out loud only brought back to memories she worked so hard to drown out with alcohol.

Her eyes were red and puffy from crying so much. Her throat hurt from sobbing. She stood and headed downstairs, pushing past her bottles of dish soap to grab the alcohol bottle waiting for her.

She wished he would just come back to her. She wished he would bring back her heart, be with her again so she could stop hurting. Y/N just wanted him back.

~

Weeks past since this, she was no better. No one thought she would be. She dragged herself to her kitchen for a drink and something to eat.

Her hands grabbed at air as she dug through the cabinet under the sink and she sighed heavily. Y/N turned regrettably, her last bottle was in the trash. She'd finished it last night.

Y/N groaned loudly and stood, replacing her drink with water. She checked her phone, she had the day off of work. So no work to distract herself.

She knew she would be heading out of town today, so she made a checklist of things she would need.

Dinner. She needed food, her fridge was empty. She worked so late that she forgot to go to the store. She sniffed and sighed, she'd go later on today.

She also needed to do her laundry before it piled up. She would do that first and head into the city when that was finished.

The day was long and sober. She couldn't escape her own thoughts as she was left thinking of him with every move.

She hadn't seen Bella lately. All she knew was that she was hanging out on the reservation quite a lot with Jacob. She wondered if that's where she was right now. She especially hadn't seen Bella in the past couple of days.

Y/N would have joined her on the Rez with Jacob, but she thought it best not to. Bella needed this. She seemed better with Jacob around.

When the clothes were folded and put away and the laundry was all done, she headed out. She was running out of tolerance with sobriety.

The drive was about an hour as she came up on the grocery store. After the quick run, she went to the liquor store she always visited for her drinks.

"Ran out again?" The clerk asked as he checked her. She nodded, "Yep, I'm glad you've got me."

"Always do," he chuckled lightly before she paid and left. She went to her car, her bags on her arms as she sighed heavily.

"Psst," she turned around and saw a woman leaning against the side of the building. The woman gave a smile and asked, "Is the liquor satisfying you?"

She raised a brow and just stared back at the woman. She shrugged lightly, "I can give you something stronger. I've seen you around here a couple times a month, for the past six."

Y/N sighed, "I don't want what you're selling. I'm sad, not suicidal."

She laughed, "This stuff won't kill you, it'll just make you feel good. First time I tried it, I had a good time doing it. It'll make you feel real happy."

Y/N bit her lip and thought for a moment. She actually thought about it. She promised herself she wouldn't do anything worse than liquor, but even the liquor was losing its touch. She sighed, "What is it?"

"Just the happy stuff, give it a special name and you get cops on your back. It's nothing you need a needle for, if that's what you're worried about."

That was good. She hated needles. She bit down on her lip before asking, "Normally, it's two hundred."

Y/N's eyes widened slightly. The woman smirked, "But I'll make it one if I can have the best thing you got in there." She motioned to her bag and Y/N thought some more.

She nodded and grabbed her wallet, taking out the two fifties she had. She thought about it a little more, this was a big decision.

But she was too far gone to care. She sighed and handed it over, along with her best bottle, "Here."

The woman smiled and dug in her bag, pulling out a tiny baggy that held a large pill. Y/N grabbed it and put it in her pocket before turning to leave before she made any more big mistakes.

"Have fun," she said as she popped open the bottle.

Y/N got in her car and drove back home. Quickly unloading her food and liquor, she put everything up. She locked the door behind her as usual, grabbing a bottle and pouring herself a couple glasses.

She had completely forgotten about the pill in her pocket until she changed into short shorts and a t-shirt, the baggy falling out of the pocket.

She looked down at the pill, putting a little more thought into it. Unfortunately, it was hard to think. She was already drunk, she got better at downing her liquor with each cup.

But that's why she bought it, wasn't it?

She picked up the pill and sighed, putting it on her tongue and swallowing it, following it with liquor.

The pill worked quickly. At first, she could see how the pill made you feel "happy". She was dancing around her house, tripping over things and enjoying herself.

Then her pulse sped up and she felt nauseous, but she couldn't feel herself puking. Nothing was coming up, she only had the feeling.

When her energy went down dramatically, so did her pulse. She bumped into the table in the living room and tripped slightly.

She got back to her feet, her vision blurry. She was sweating like crazy and she felt horrible. Then she tripped behind the couch, her head fuzzy and her body numb.

Her mouth started foaming a little, her vision fading in and out. She didn't know when she passed out, but she did. She kept coming back to consciousness, but it was hard to feel. Her body hurt, but she couldn't move.

The door opened at some point as her eyes opened lazily. She couldn't see anything, she still had foam coming out of her mouth. It tasted disgusting.

She tried to make a sound or move, but she couldn't. She heard the footsteps but her eyes closed again and she faded out.

~

The door swung open and his eyes widened as he saw Y/N laying behind the couch, foaming at the mouth.

"Y/N!" He exclaimed, kneeling beside her as he tried to listen closely to her heartbeat. It was slow, too slow. If he could cry, he would have.

He placed his cool hand on her cheek, "Y/N, love, wake up. Please."

He looked up and rushed to her bathroom, searching through her cabinet in search of something to use. When he found the activated charcoal, he sighed in relief and snatched it.

He paused when she saw the antidepressants sitting next to it. It was mostly untouched, it didn't seem like it'd been used in months. She'd given up on them.

He frowned and swallowed hard before heading back downstairs to her. He opened her mouth and put one of the pills in her mouth, following it with water to get her to swallow it.

"Come on," he muttered to himself, "Swallow it. Please, take it."

She managed a small noise as she tried to mumble, but her lips barely moved. When he saw her swallow the pill, he nodded and sat her up against his chest.

"Come on," he said, "You'll be okay. It's okay." He picked her up and set her on the couch, her head propped up on a pillow. "You'll be okay," he told her, his face was pained as he watched her.

He stayed with her, giving her a little bit of water at a time after wiping her mouth of the foam and sweat.

He could hear her heartbeat return to normal, the sweat died down and he laid a blanket over her. He sighed with much relief as she slept. He couldn't believe what he'd seen. This wasn't supposed to happen.

He looked around the house, the house he'd missed walking into. He saw the bottle of liquor and the cup on the table and frowned.

He turned to the kitchen, the fridge had food in it, but it wasn't as full as it needed to be. He sniffed the air and bent down in front of the sink, opening the cabinet to see the fresh bottles hiding behind the soap.

He sighed again, wiping his face before glancing back at her sleeping on the couch. He wandered around the home, trying to see what all was different. He went back to the bathroom to put the charcoal pills back in it. He picked up the bottle of antidepressants, looking at the date written on it.

It was sometime after he'd left.

After a while, he'd heard her scrambling downstairs, followed by a retching sound as she puked. He rushed downstairs to her, taking her hair in his hands to move it out of the way.

She jumped slightly at the touch but was too caught up in throwing up. When she was finished, she collapsed on the floor next to the trash, wiping her face.

He knelt in front of her, not sure if he should offer her a smile or a sad look. He gave her a sad smile to even it out.

Y/N blinked at him and muttered quietly, she was in shock and disbelief, saying his name still hurt. This was some illusion, he wasn't coming back.

"Carlisle?" She spoke, her voice wavering as she ready had tears welling in her eyes at saying the name and seeing him.

"Y/N," Carlisle sighed, reaching his hands out to touch her, "What happened to you? Why would yo-"

She cut him off, standing up as she flinched away from him. She thought him coming back would make everything better. She thought she would throw herself into his arms and tell him how much she missed him.

But she was just pissed.

"What the hell?!" She yelled, moving away from him, her eyes burning in anger.

Carlisle watched her, silently getting back to his feet. She stared at him, her eyes brimming with tears, her voice wavering drastically.

"You leave me here alone and then show up after six months with no explanation? I thought you were never coming back! I spent weeks trying to convince myself that you would return and then it turned into months and I lost all hope of ever seeing you again," she sobbed.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly, "I was trying to keep you sa-"

"Keep me safe?" She scoffed, "That's not an excuse, Carlisle. I wish it was, but it isn't." She shook her head and another round of sobs left her, shaking through her violently.

Carlisle hated seeing her cry like this, he hated seeing her so broken. This wasn't supposed to happen.

"You left me here alone. I didn't think you would ever come back. I thought I meant nothing to you."

He tried again, "Y/N-"

"I'm not finished," she told her. She hadn't raised her voice, she had strained it by crying and she knew she wouldn't have to raise it to stop him. He would listen to her.

"I thought you loved me. That's what you told me," she shook her head before allowing herself to look up at him.

"I do love you," Carlisle told her quickly. He couldn't bear the thought of her not knowing that he loved her.

"Then why did you leave?" The room fell silent as she stared him down. He looked away from her, he couldn't take the look in her eyes as she stared at him. They were heartbroken, beaten, she looked hopeless and broken. She continued, "You could have brought me with you, or just stayed. You hurt me, Carlisle. You were supposed to protect me, but I needed protection from myself and you weren't here to give it."

She fell silent and Carlisle hesitated to look up at her, but he did. She was still staring at her feet, tears dropped from her eyes as her lip quivered uncontrollably. Something in him made him move closer to him, his arms out for a hug. He just wanted to calm her, to help her, to wrap his arms around her to tell her that he was here and would never leave her again.

But he couldn't.

"Don't touch me!" She exclaimed, holding her arms around herself. She looked back down at her feet with blurry vision.

Carlisle's eyes held grief, pain, and sorrow. He didn't like seeing her like this. This wasn't supposed to happen.

Y/N sighed heavily and went to her couch, sitting down and pouring a glass of scotch. Carlisle was by her side in a split second, his hand grabbing the bottle and pulling it from her grip.

"You shouldn't be putting this stuff in your body, you almost just died because of it. You've polluted your blood, it smells different," he told her gently.

Y/N didn't look at him, she stated at her glass and sighed, "You... get no say… in what I choose to put in my body."

Without looking at him, she grabbed the bottle again and poured her drink, bringing the glass to her lips and taking a sip. He looked away from her, unable to watch her do this to herself. Or rather what he did to her.

As she drank the liquid, it burned down her throat. She expected it to calm her nerves as it always had, but she only grew self-conscious. Having him see her like this, down at her lowest low as she downed a glass of alcohol, she felt unclean and poisoned. She felt invaluable and dirty. She felt like she had lost all of her importance sitting next to him so hopelessly.

She set her glass down soundlessly, standing up from her spot on the couch to get to the fridge. She opened it and grabbed a bottle of water, hoping it would help to cleanse some of that feeling out of her.

But it didn't. Sure, the water was refreshing, but it didn't help.

Carlisle spoke into the silence, eyes glued to a picture hanging on the wall where she was smiling brightly with her late grandfather. She looked so happy in that picture, a vast contrast to how she looked now.

"I spent every day wishing I was with you. I wanted to come home but I didn't think it was safe. I thought I was putting you in danger simply by being here," Carlisle admitted sadly. His honey smooth voice was clear but anything was calm. It was sad. If he was capable of it, it would have broken multiple times throughout his words.

She sunk down to her knees as he spoke, she didn't want to look back up at him as he spoke, her head against the wall. She didn't look over. "You put me in danger by not being here…" she said softly, "I thought I lost the one I loved the most. It hurt. It especially hurt thinking that the one I loved the most didn't love me." Her voice cracked at the end.

He turned to her, but she did not turn to meet his gaze. It hurt too much to look at him. "I do love you. In all my years, I've never loved like I do with you. You're my everything. I never meant to hurt you."

"All you had to do was stay," she shook her head as she spoke, still refusing to look up at him. She brought her legs in front of her and tucked them to her chest, setting her chin on her arms.

The room fell back into uncomfortable silence. She stared at the cabinet filled with liquor in disgust, thinking back to the pill she took earlier that night. How could she be so stupid?

She swallowed hard as she felt another lump in her throat, more tears threatening to spill. Carlisle licked his lips and closed his eyes, "All I wanted to do was help people. I dedicated my whole existence to doing just that. Then I find someone as special as you and hurt the person I wanted to protect the most."

Carlisle was gone in the next second. He'd left so quickly, there was no sound from the door opening or closing behind him. She saw lights flash outside her window as he started his car, pulling out of the driveway and leaving her alone in her house.

Y/N's face scrunched as tears left her. They streamed down her face, her eyes puffing once again and her body shook. She thought over their conversation in her head. She was too hard on him, she knew that. She should have accepted him and let him make everything okay.

But she didn't, she pushed him away. Even after he just saved her life…again.

"Carlisle," she said. She hadn't spoken his name in months, it hurt too much to say. But after seeing him again, knowing he was real, after all. It was so good to say his name again, it was a release she didn't know she needed. She repeated his name through her sobs, like playing a broken record. It felt so good.

She didn't know how long she was crying. She grabbed the scotch bottle off the table and began to bring it to her lips before stopping. She sighed and looked at the bottle. She shook her head, turning to the sink and pouring it down the drain.

There was a small part of her that was screaming at her to stop, to think about what she was doing, but that part was too small against this new need, this old and new desire in her body.

This desire to make it up to Carlisle.

She couldn't go on the way she was, she knew it wasn't healthy from the start, but she didn't care because it was a distraction, it made her feel somewhat good.

But she was going to do her best to be worthy of his love again. Hopefully, getting rid of the pollutant, the poison she'd been giving herself would make up for an inkling of the harm she inflicted upon him.

She didn't care that he hurt her now that she had hurt him. She just needed to make it up, and she would spend the rest of her life doing that.

She grabbed every bottle she had, pouring it down the sink. With each drop down, she felt unsure of herself. Would she be able to stick it out? This was what she used to cope, this was what she had been using for strength these several months.

Her instincts tried to make her stop what she was doing, but she needed to change her instincts. She needed to get them back to how they were. She needed to be strong for Carlisle.

When the liquor was gone, she closed her eyes and sighed. She felt this strange freedom, this strange pride in her being. She was proud of herself, but only a little bit. It wasn't enough to make her crack any type of smile.

She threw all the liquor bottles in the trash, getting rid of her demon. When she was finished, it was roughly five in the morning. She was practically dead on her feet.

She had terrible sleep over the past couple of weeks, it was so bad that she resulted in not sleeping at all in the past few days.

She was really dizzy and she felt herself swaying, struggling to keep her on her feet. Normally, she would just down a glass of liquor and keep running on that. But seeing as she had just disposed of every single drop she had, that wasn't an option.

Another reason for being so tired? She neglected her body of the water she needed to survive. She was extremely dehydrated.

In short, her body was barely holding on to what little life it held.

She shook her head and declared herself awake, headed to the door to go to Carlisle. She needed to see him. She needed to be with him and reassure him that they would be okay. They had to be okay. She couldn't lose him twice.

However, she didn't make it past the couch before she collapsed, falling to the floor as she passed out instantly.

~

She might as well start getting used to being woken by people because she collapsed on the floor. Bella was waking her up anxiously, Charlie by her side-- he was probably the one who got the locked door open. Both Charlie and Carlisle had a key.

"Y/N, wake up!" She exclaimed. Y/N's eyes opened slowly and she saw the two hovering over her, fear written across their faces. They relaxed a little when she opened her eyes fully and slowly sat up. She had a pounding headache, though.

"What happened, kid?" Charlie asked, helping her sit up.

Y/N laughed humorlessly, "I guess I was so tired I passed out." She was dizzy as she looked around the room. She struggled to her feet, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge to try and soothe herself.

When her vision settled and she wasn't seeing four Swans in her house, she sighed. Charlie looked over at the trash can filled with liquor bottles.

"What is this?" He asked, eyeing her with a hint of disappointment.

She spoke quickly, "I wasn't drinking any." She thought with the speed of a vampire. She'd spent so much time with the Cullens, she'd picked up on their ability to lie so quickly, "I saw them near the house just laying there, I think someone dumped them, so I threw them away. I passed out because I got tired and dehydrated from so much work at the diner."

He nodded and thought about her answer. It was a legitimate answer to him. He's known this girl her whole life, she wouldn't drink that much, especially at 19. But, in her defense, she would be twenty soon.

He nodded and told her, "Just…be careful, you scared me, kid."

She gave him a reassuring look, forcing a smile, "I will, Chief."

He nodded to her again and looked between her and his daughter before turning to leave them alone, it looked like they had something to talk about.

When he was gone and well out of earshot, Bella rushed to her quickly, "Are you insane? Edward told me what you did. Overdose, really?!"

Y/N sighed, "It was an accident. I was getting… really bad… and someone offered and I was too far gone. It was one pill but I was drunk and it didn't go well… He found me and helped me. We argued and I'm just… I'm trying to fix it."

She watched her as she spoke, she believed every word she said. Y/N was in no position to lie to her at the moment. Bella sighed, "Get some sleep first, at least. I know I can't tell you what to do but you fainted, so I think we can both agree that you need to sleep before you turn into ash or something."

Y/N sighed and agreed to at least that. She knew she needed sleep before she passed out while driving to the Cullen's and really died.

She got in the shower to soothe her body and release some of the tension in her muscles. She'd been so stressed lately and last night with seeing Carlisle for the first time in over six months, arguing with him, and almost dying (technically almost dying twice), she needed a healthy outlet.

After the long shower, she was able to get herself to drift into sleep. After seeing Carlisle again, her nightmares calmed down and allowed her a dreamless sleep. It was nice to have sleep, she hadn't gotten much of it in a long time.

~

After getting healthy sleep, even if it was only three hours, sleep was sleep, she quickly ate to calm her growling stomach.

She was grabbing her keys when her phone rang. She sighed and turned to pick it up, "Hello?"

"Y/N, I'm glad you're okay. Charlie told me what happened," Billy’s voice said on the other end.

"Yeah, I'm okay. Didn't mean to worry anybody," she told him. She internally sighed. Word spread quick around Forks, she would be surprised if the whole town called to ask if she was okay. But she would rather answer that many phone calls in one day.

Billy wasn't the last to call either. As soon as the call ended, the phone rang again as another person contacted Y/N to make sure she was alright.

What a great town this was to show their concern for her.

At the wrong times.

By the fifth call, she decided to just email all of the people she knew would be calling who hadn't called yet. She wrote the email, reassuring everyone that she was A-OK and didn't need any help. That seemed to shut up the phone and she was able to leave.

She groaned loudly when she looked at the time again. It was already late as it struck five in the evening.

She waited a few more minutes to make sure the phone didn't ring again before getting in her car. During the car ride, she kept herself hydrated, learning from her mistake. She wasn't too keen on fainting from lack of hydration or sleep.

She sped down the familiar path to the Cullen House. She wanted to get there quickly, she had wasted enough time with her mundane activities. She needed to see him.

When she came through the trees and pulled into the Cullen's driveway, she got out before the keys were even out of the ignition. Y/N walked up to the house, seeing Carlisle standing in a window. He saw her and, even from where she was standing, she could see something in eyes when he met hers.

She swallowed hard and held her arms out in front of her, a proposal. He zoomed out of the window and out of the house. He wasted no time in wrapping his arms around her and pulling her into his chest.

She instantly broke down again, she was getting tired of crying. Her arms held him to her, never letting go. She was so afraid that if she left go of him, she'd lose him all over again. She couldn't go through that twice.

Even if it wasn't the same as before, it was still her scent Carlisle breathed in as he hugged her tight, careful not to crush her. Everyone else must have been out hunting if they hadn't shown up by now.

Y/N let out a sharp breath before sucking another back in, sobbing into Carlisle's chest. He felt good. He felt like home. She was home.

She let out a breathy laugh and sniffled, letting him hold her to him. It was as if all of their troubles had washed away so that this moment was the most special of all.

Y/N pulled her head out of the crook of his neck just so she could kiss him. She missed him more than anything, she missed his hugs, his kisses, his words of love. This was perfect.

They were wrapped up in their moment, wrapped up in each other. It felt so amazing to have their lives back. They were home again.

She breathed deeply, holding the breath in as her lips moved in sync with her mate's. She then let the breath out in a moan, but she was too focused on the moment to let the sound embarrass her. She wrapped her arms tighter around him.

He pulled away enough to speak, still so close that he spoke against her lips, "I'm so sorry for what I've done to you."

She shook her head, "Stay." She didn't care about what happened, she cared about what can happen.

He smiled, "I will." It was her turn to bring him back into the kiss, kissing him deeply and passionately. It had been too long since she felt his touch.

When her mind came back to her drinking briefly as she spoke into his lip, "I'm quitting."

"Good," he smiled, once again kissing her. They weren't going to waste any time to be near each other, touch each other, love each other.

When the kiss slowed, she took a deep breath in, his scent filling her senses. She missed his scent. She opened her eyes to stare in his, they were beautiful, honey gold, sparkling as he gazed at her. She missed those eyes. She expected them to be darker like they were last night, but they were just as golden as the sun.

She smiled, her first genuine smile in months. He smiled back at her, captivated by her. Their foreheads were still pressed together and they swayed slightly, reveling in each other.

Y/N spoke, intoxicated by him, "I love you." Her words were a whisper, a breath that delivered the sweetest of air.

Carlisle beamed down at her, a light laugh escaping his throat as he gazed at her, his face looking like he was going to cry while his eyes stayed clear of any tears. "I love you," he told her sincerely. The only thing they could think of doing after the heartwarming confession was to kiss each other again.

He picked her up and she wrapped her legs around his waist, moaning again at the feel of his body against hers. She felt amazing with him.

He set her on the hood of her car and continued to kiss her, mumbling against her lips, "I'm going to marry you one day."

She smiled, "What's keeping you back?"

"Absolutely nothing," he told her genuinely.

They stayed like that, just kissing each other's pain away the best they could. There was no way they could ever leave each other's sides. After the ordeal they just went through, they could never.

He told her in that soft, smooth voice she missed with all her being, "I will never leave you again. No matter what, I will always be right here with you. I love you."

"I know," she replied just as gently, "I love you. You're the best thing that will ever happen to me. I love you so much."

The confessions were falling freely, leaving their lips faster than they could think. "After all this time, I still can't believe I'm yours. I can't imagine my life without you now, Carlisle. I obviously wouldn't last. If you hadn't stepped in, I'd be dead. Here I am, only living and breathing because you were here to care for me."

"I don't want to lose you, Y/N," he told her that same thing the first time they kissed. They held so much gravity then and they only seem to hold more now, "I don't know how I'd survive without you now. You're my life now and I will never let you go ever again. I promise you."

They thought they were going to be there forever confessing their feelings over and over again, drinking each other in with each kiss. They knew that they would eventually have to go inside and spare the others.

They went inside and eventually everyone came back from their hunting trip. They expressed how good it was to have her around again and how much they missed her. After a talk with Alice about how Carlisle knew she was in trouble, she went up to Carlisle's room with her hand grasped tightly in his.

There was a bed in his room that he had bought specifically for her so she could fall asleep in his arms. They were talking quietly with each other for a while before she finally fell asleep in his embrace.

He promised her that he would never ways protect her and that he would never leave her again, he promised that he loved her deeply, that he would always love her and he would always be here. He kissed her forehead, "Goodnight, my darling. I love you."

She smiled in her sleep, holding him tighter as she allowed her dreams to run wild. It was the best sleep she'd had in what felt like forever as she held tightly to him, never once letting him go as she slept.

Carlisle could have sworn she heard her mumble his name in her sleep and he smiled, breathing in deeply to enjoy her presence.

She muttered to herself, lost in her dreams of him, "I love you, Carlisle…"

#twilight #twilight fanfiction #twilight x you #carlisle cullen x reader #carlisle cullen x you #carlisle cullen #carlisle cullen x fem!reader #cullen #female reader #cullen x female reader

[wesimpforxiao]

Say My Name and I’ll Be There: 3.4

Two weeks later.

"Did Xiao ever say when he'd return?"  You caught up to Aether at the front of the group.  "I'm getting worried.  And what about Mr. Zhongli?"  The team had just entered Liyue Harbor to inspect three nameless treasure boxes that you'd found all over western Liyue.

"Nope.  Not a clue.  But we can stop by the funeral parlor to look for Zhongli if you want."  

"Paimon thinks you worry too much.  The Vigilant Yaksha can handle himself just fine."

"I-I know that!"  You spoke a little too loud and a few pedestrians gave you the side eye.  The tips of your ears burned red.

"I have some business to attend to regarding the winery.  I'll meet you tomorrow morning."  Diluc walked off without another word.

"He's not a people-person just like Xiao, don't you think?" Paimon nudged you suggestively.

"What're you saying, exactly?"

"It seems our emergency food forgot her place," Aether defended you despite his urge to tease your urgency over Xiao's return.

"Stop treating Paimon like that!  I am not food!"

"She's not wrong though," Childe cozied up to you.  "A little eager to see Xiao again, are we?"

"I already told you guys, it's not like that!  I'm just antsy because he said he'd be back soon and it's been a few weeks now--"

"Sounds like you really like this Xiao person!" Bennett chirped.  "I wonder what he's like?"  He swung his arms at his side, completely carefree despite the soreness in his previously-broken arm.  It had healed within a day because of his healing abilities.

"You guys are just teasing me because I'm the only girl on the team!" You pouted and crossed your arms.

"Oh come now, don't be like that." Childe put an arm around your shoulder.  "What else did Xiao tell you before you left? How much he loves you and how much he'd miss you while you were away?  If you want, I can tell you those things too, ojou-chan〰"

"Cut it out, Childe!"  You snapped and pushed him away.  That's when you noticed a few strangers were whispering and pointing at the Harbinger.  "Hey--"

"Ah, don't concern yourself with them."  Childe returned to a more serious nature and continued to walk behind Aether.   "Let's just say I'm not as welcome in Liyue as the Traveler here."

"That's because he kicked your butt!" Paimon taunted.

"Do not forget that I've grown stronger in recent months.  If you are so certain he could defeat me a second time, I'm more than happy to prove the two of you wrong."

"Why does it feel so tense all of a sudden?"  Bennett whispered in your ear.  

"They have a weird rivalry going."

"Ah."

"We're here--annnd it's closed," Aether's shoulders drooped once the group reached the antique shop.  "'Open at 6p.m.'  Great."

"That just means we have time to relax! Quick, Paimon wants to go eat some classic Liyue dishes!"  She dragged Aether with her before he could protest.  

"Uh...we'll meet here at six!"  He called over his shoulder.

"I still don't understand how she could eat so much," Childe shrugged.  "Well then, I'm off.  I have some business to take care of at the bank.  See you soon."

"Guess it's just you and me?"  Bennett laughed nervously.

"Wanna eat lunch first?"  

Your offer lit his eyes up.  The two of you had practically become best friends during these past few weeks, and he found it a relief that you weren't phased by his bad luck even when it did backfire on you.  To think he had found such a great friend and adventure team no less--was incredibly motivating.

After several hours of eating and checking out all the harbor had to offer, you and Bennett ended at the docks.  The sun was nearly setting and cast an orange glow on its subjects.  You dangled your feet over the edge and soon enough he did the same.  

"I had so much fun today! Thank you for showing me around!"  Bennett ate the dango you had bought for him.

"Mhm!"  You didn't feign cheerfulness, but by now it was exaggerated.  Bennett caught on.

"Hey, are you okay?  You've been acting weird since this morning."

"I don't know.  I just feel lonely without him."

"The Xiao guy?  I get how that feels.  I'm always lonely," he sympathized.  "You can rant to me if you want.  I'm a good listener."

"See, that's the thing.  I'm not sure if it's safe for me to talk about it with anyone."  There were brief moments in the night in which a gentle breeze would caress your skin, but they were briefer than the first and infrequent.  Your heart ached and missed the comfort of knowing he was watching over you the longer he was gone.

Bennett quietly pondered your words while he swung his feet in the air.  "If there's anything I know about thoughts and feelings, it's that they'll tear you apart the longer you keep them bottled up."

"Yeah...you're right."  You let out a long sigh and lay your back against the cold wooden planks.  "I want to get closer to him, but it feels like something bad will happen if I do."

"What do you mean?"

"He says we might be in danger, but he won't elaborate on it.  I feel like unless that danger is eliminated, I won't have a chance to get to know him fully."

"I see."  Bennett copied your position and reached toward the sky. "Well, I think--"

"There you are," Childe entered your field of vision.  "We're all waiting for you.  The antique shop is open now."

...........................................................

"--These markings are those of Liyue," Linlang of the antique shop continued to explain as you approached the rest of the group.  "You can see inscribed here is the anecdote of Azhdaha.  They say Azhdaha was a dragon spawned by a convergence of the spirits of Geo in Liyue, and that even Rex Lapis could not easily subdue it.  Rex Lapis thus summoned three adepti to his aid, and together they created a cavernous realm.  Rex Lapis then battled the creature, luring it into the cavern, before ordering the adepti to seal the entrance, trapping Azhdaha within.  

"The patterns on the things you brought seem to describe the three adepti joining hands to create the cavern.  This crane must be the adeptus Mountain Shaper, and this deer might be Moon Carver...But this last one...huh?  It seems like this pattern has been intentionally ground away by someone to the point where I can't make anything out.  Who was this third adeptus?  Eh, no matter; this is beyond me.  Regardless, it is a complete set.  Would you like to sell them or keep them as keepsakes?  I can make a generous offer."

"We'd like to sell them!"  Paimon nearly yelled with excitement over the potential mora.

"Wait! May I see the third artifact?" The clerk held it out to you, and you examined the damaged box in your hands.  Something about this box called to you, though you didn't know why you felt that way.  You were mesmerized as you rubbed the ground-out etchings in the material with your thumb.

"Do you know something about these?" Childe suddenly became much more interested in the conversation and leaned toward you.

"I've never seen these before, but...I feel like this one is familiar."

"But there's nothing readable on it," Bennett remarked.  "How can you think it's familiar if there aren't any distinguishing features?

"I...don't know..."  She said these were depictions of three adepti, right? Moon Carver, Mountain Shaper...Could it have been a depiction of Cloud Retainer? But why would it be scratched out if that were the case?  Maybe it's one of the yakshas?  W-wait a second--

"Do you want to keep it?" Aether pulled your head out of the clouds and you lost your train of thought.  

"No, that's okay."  You placed the box on the counter, mind wondering once again as LinLang explained her offer to Aether.  Hopefully you'd get the chance to look at the artifact set again.  Maybe you could ask Xiao about it when he returns--wait.  Your eyes locked onto the damaged box again.

Was it possible that he was the one depicted on the box?

The theory made sense...The Guardian Yaksha worked in the dark, and he wasn't really known in the mortal world.  Festivals were thrown for the adepti, but no one mentioned or prayed to him.  He could have scratched the box himself, or it could have been Rex Lapis's doing.  Your hands curled into determined fists and you walked away from the group before anyone could notice.

Xiao!  You silently called his name once you returned to the docks along the harbor.  Xiao!  I know you can hear me.  No response; the wind was absent.  Why is it that I'm running into more things relating to adepti ever since you departed?  You dunk your hand into the ocean and traced a figure-eight in the water as you thought to yourself.  We found some interesting boxes with three adepti etched into them.  It's strange; one of them is scratched out, but I feel connected to it, almost like it's connected to you.  Weird, huh?  You shook your head at yourself.  What a silly idea, to think that one of the mighty yakshas could hear you.  I'll leave you alone now. I'm sure you're getting tired of listening to me ramble every day.  Or maybe you can't hear me at all in the first place.

A hand suddenly landed on your shoulder.

"Xiao?" Your head snapped behind you in high hopes that the adeptus had returned.

"Ouch," Childe winced and grabbed his chest as if he got hurt.  "It's just lil ol' me."  He took the liberty to sit next to you.

"A-ha, you scared me there.  Sorry."

"You really like him, huh?"

"I guess so.  I don't really know what to do with myself since he left."  You watched the moon rise over the horizon.

"Do you know where he was headed? I can go find him for you."  You shook your head.  "I'm surprised he didn't take you with him.  The two of you were practically attached at the hip."

Hm?  The hair rose on the nape of your neck.  Something about his words was off.

"Childe, do you know something about why he left?"  Your eyes left the moon and locked onto your questionable teammate.

"Whatever do you mean, ojou-chan?" He was good at feigning ignorance, but you didn't fall for it this time.

"Tartaglia."

"Now why would I be interested in the adepti?  Why are you so suspicious of me all of a sudden?"  His eyes narrowed dangerously.  "If you're looking for a reason to fight me, all you have to do is ask and I'll say yes.  I'd love to fight you and go all-out.  It's been awhile and I could use the exercise."

You opened your mouth and shut it.  You couldn't throw around accusations like they were Childe's Fatui money, after all.  If your suspicions were unfounded, it would cause strain in the team.  And he was true to his word on fighting; he could take you out in a single blow if he thought it was necessary.  You thought carefully about this and decided to drop it.

#xiao genshin impact #genshin impact #genshin impact xiao #xiao x reader #xiao one shot #xiao fanfiction #genshin x reader

[dialovers-translations]

Diabolik Lovers DARK FATE ー Ayato Maniac [Prologue]

ー The scene starts on the balcony in Banmaden

Cordelia: ...What is that wench’s problem...!? Ayato as well...!

How dare he oppose me like that...!

???: ...You seem to be in somewhat of a bad mood.

ー Richter approaches her

Richter: ーー However, you are beautiful even when upset, my precious Cordelia.

Cordelia: Richter...Hmph, what do you want?

Richter: I do not need a reason to be with you. Please do not be so cold to me.

Cordelia: Come on, if you want to keep me company that badly, come a little closer. ーー Get down on the floor, and lick my foot.

Richter: As you wish...

*Rustle*

Richter: Aah, Cordelia. You are the perfect woman. Every part of your body is stunning.

Cordelia: Why of course? ...Fufu...That position fits you very well. Come on, lick it.

Richter: It would be an honour, Cordelia...Nn.

Cordelia: ...Exactly. You are doing a great job, Richter...

Fufu...

...Right...All men in this world should be at my feet.

Yet...Ayato...You...!

Richter! I have had enough! Back off!!

ー Cordelia kicks him away

*Thud*

Richter: Ah!

Cordelia: Ah, gosh...! I have had enough of all these people.

Christa...That whore’s son...As well as the child of that hag Beatrix...

Destroying his violin did not deal nearly enough damage ...Fufufu.

Either way, if only I can retrieve my heart from that little girl...

Richter: Cordelia...

I will return your heart to you at all costs, my beloved.

For your sake, I do not mind just how much blood I have to get on these hands of mine.

Cordelia: Richter...Thank you. I am relying on you, fufufu.

However...Let me deliver the final blow, okay? I want to retrieve what belongs to me with my own hands.

In front of Ayato...I will rip out her heart...! What do you think? Sounds like the perfect come-back, no? 

Richter: Yes, Cordelia!

Cordelia: Nfu~ I knew you would say that.

As a reward for meeting my expectations...

I shall bless you with a kiss. Nn...

Richter: ...! Aah...Cordelia...!

ー The scene shifts to the Sakamaki manor

Reiji: ーー Hm? Aah. You can seal that invitation now.

Yui: Okay.

Reiji: Please use that candle over there to seal the envelopes.

Yui: Y-Yes...

*Flip*

Yui: ( There’s still so many left...I wonder how much longer it will take...? )

*Flip flip*

Reiji: Good grief...Starting with that good-for-nothing, I wonder why none of the people in this house are willing to help out with anything.

They are acting as if none of this concerns them. Honestly...

Yui: Y-Yeah...

( However, even if they were here, I feel like Reiji-san might have a hard time either way... )

*Flip flip*

ー Ayato enters the living room

Ayato: Woah, look who’s working hard over here! You’re practically buried underneath those letters, Chichinashi!

Yui: Ayato-kun!

Reiji: Ayato! Honestly, you are so...If you have the time to poke fun at someone else, how about you actually help out a little?

Ayato: In your dreams. That’s not my job.

Yui: ( I’ve been worried since he has been cooped up in his room as of late but...Seems like he’s doing well. )

Ayato: ...

ー Ayato leaves again

Yui: Ah...

( I guess he’s still... )

...W-Wait, Ayato-kun!

ー Yui chases after him

Reiji: You too!? Halt, Komori Yui!

Yui: I’m sorry! I’ll get back right away...!

ー The scene shifts to the forest outside

Yui: Haah, haah, haah...Ayato-kun!

Ayato: You...Why did you follow me all the way out here?

Weren’t you helpin’ out Reiji?

Yui: I was but...I wanted to talk to you for a bit.

Ayato: Hm...

Yui: W-What brings you here?

Ayato: Not like there’s anythin’ fun to do inside my room. Our family doesn’t need another shut-in besides Subaru.

My mind ends up wanderin’ as well...

So I figured I would get some fresh aーー

...No...

Yui: ...?

Ayato: I just remembered somethin’ great. Follow me for a bit.

Yui: Eh? S-Sure...

( I wonder what’s wrong? )

ー The scene shifts to the flower field

Ayato: Ohー... They’re bloomin’, just like I thought...

Yui: Ayato-kun, this isーー

Ayato: ーー Lunar eclipse flowers.

Apparently they only bloom durin’ an eclipse. Last time, I came across them by pure coincidence...

I bet you like this kinda stuff, don’t you?

Yui: Yeah...

They’re so pretty...

( ...Every day has been filled with anxieties ever since we came here. )

( However, perhaps I was being too afraid of this place, simply because it is foreign to me. )

Ayato: ...

Yui: The Demon World, you see...It’s obviously different from my own world, so there’s a bunch of surprises...

However, I now realize it’s home to such beautiful flowers as well.

This is where you and your brothers grew up, isn’t it?

In that case, I want to get to know it better as well.

Ayato: Yui...

*Rustle*

On certain CGs, little black roses will appear on the screen. If you click on them, you get an extra line of dialogue.

“Don’t you dare show that expression of yours to anyone else, ‘kay? That’s a promise with Yours Truly.”

“Vistin’ these kind of spots isn’t bad once in a while, right? I was so kind to take you here, so you better be grateful, Chichinashi.”

Ayato: ...Even so, don’t just go wanderin’ ‘round while leavin’ yourself completely defenseless, ‘kay?

No matter in which world we are, you are still mine, remember?

Oi, do you understand that?

Yui: Ayato-kun...

Yeah...I belong to you, Ayato-kuーー

*Rustle*

Ayato: ...!

Who’s there!?

???: ...My sincere apologies. I did not mean to interrupt.

I am simply one other person drawn to this place by the lunar eclipse flowers.

Yui: ( Who is this guy...? )

Ayato: ...What? Haven’t seen you ‘round here?

Mertz: Nice to meet you. ーー My name is Mertz.

Yui: Mertz...san...

Mertz: Exactly. This presence...That gentleman over there is a Vampire, is he not? So am I. Furthermore...

I could not help but become captivated by the image of a young, interspecies couple sharing their mutual love amidst the beautiful flower fields.

Ayato: Ah!? Don’t make me gag!! Get out of my sight!!

Mertz: ...You say that but...I am not quite sure where I should go...

Yui: ...? What do you mean?

Mertz: To tell the truth, I am a bit of an outcast seeing as I was both born and raised in the human world...

Even so, to reconnect with my roots as a demonic species, I made the decision to return to this world.

That being said...This place is simply too different from the human world.

I have been aimlessly wandering around, unknowing where to go.

Ayato: Hm...

Yui: ( He was born and raised in the human world...Which means he is the same as me. )

( In that case, I can definitely sympathize with him. )

( Above all...He must be horribly lonely. Me too, if I didn’t have Ayato-kun and the others, who knows what... )

Mertz: ...Excuse me...I realize this might be very imprudent of me to ask, however...

I am sure we met here through some sort of fate. Would you be so kind...to teach me about the Demon World?

Ayato: Aah? Just walk ‘round here for a bit and you’ll figure things out whether you like it or not.

Mertz: I am sure, but...

Ayato: Then leave already!

Yui: W-Wait, Ayato-kun. Let’s try hearing him out first.

Ayato: Aah!?

Yui: I kind of understand how he would feel at a loss here...

Ayato: ...Haah...

Yui: Please, Ayato-kun?

Ayato: ...

...Che, fine.

If we return to the castle now, we’ll just get another one of Reiji’s annoyin’ lectures anyway.

Mertz: Aah...! Thank you so much! I have found some reassuring comrades down here!

Ayato: Comrades? Don’t get the wrong idea now...

Yui: ( Thank god...While we’re at it, it’ll be a great opportunity for me to learn about the Demon World as well. )

ー The scene shifts to Mertz’ manor

Yui: ( So this is Mertz-san’s home...? )

Ayato: ...Hm? What’s this smell?

...! Oi, what’s this thing sittin’ on the table?

Mertz: Fufu, they’re extra-large takoyaki made with a special spice blend.

Ayato: Takoyaki, you say...!?

Mertz: Oh dear? If you like these, go ahead and have one.

Ayato: ...

...Well, guess I have no other choice if you insist. I’ll try one then.

...

This stuff’s hella delicious!

Yui: A-Ayato-kun! You shouldn’t eat them all...

Ayato: Shut up! Never heard of survival of the fittest? The early bird gets the worm!

Mertz: Fufu, good point. That might be how things work in this world.

Ayato: Oh! You get me!

Yui: ( Gosh, Ayato-kun... )

( But...I do want him to smile brightly like this after all. )

Mertz: ...

ー The scene shifts to the reception hall in Banmaden

Shin: Nii-san! Nii-san, listen to me!

Why did you give a physical body to that woman!?

She’s been going around acting as if the whole world belongs to her...I’ve reached my limit. Can I just kill her already?

Carla: ーー You cannot.

Give that woman free reign for now. She will eventually begin to carry out her duty.

Shin: What do you mean...?

Carla: She is an important piece in the puzzle to put an end to Karlheinz.

Shin: Hm...I feel like I understand, yet not quite at the same time.

However...Seems like things are about to get interesting. Hehe...!

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

→  LIKE MY TRANSLATIONS? SUPPORT ME ON KO-FI!

<- [ Dark Epilogue ] [ Maniac 01 ] ->

#diabolik lovers #dialovers #ayato sakamaki #dark fate #diabolik lovers translation #dfayatomaniacprolog

[watevermelon]

Cheater!Akaashi x Reader

✧ Summary: (Continuation) Akaashi goes yandere over the reader dismissing him.

➳ A/N: Hi hi!! SO many people in my dm’s about this Akaashi cheating scenario! I don’t mind writing about it more at all, if anything please feed my imagination because I dont know what to write! ヽ(ಠ_ಠ)ノ Checkout my updated Masterlist to see what continuations are in the works!! :) ➳ Warning: Not a Happy Ending; IM GONNA BE UP-FRONT, THIS ONE IS FUCKED UP - do not read this if any of your triggers involve yandere-like behavior: violence, kidnapping - you have been warned. ➳  Masterlist ➳  Part One ➳  Part Three (NSFW)

--------xXxXxXxXxXx--------

There was nothing, absolutely nothing, that Akaashi could ever say that would let you bring him back into your life. But the setter was intent on getting your attention, often waiting outside your classroom after school or pursuing you during your free period.

Any rumors about the relationship were quelled when Akaashi set the record straight. He would not allow anyone to sully your name, basically telling the nosy president of his fan-club that he was the one who fucked up the relationship. Akaashi told them to never bother you again, he was the cause of it all and he would do anything to regain your forgiveness.

Akaashi would never beg, but he urged you on multiple occasions to hear him out and possibly explain what he wanted. Why he thought he even had the right to ask that of you - just that fact alone flamed up your anger. He was being selfish and you wanted no part of his life anymore. 

But there was also something… majorly different about Akaashi.

He was still quiet, still the ever mannered pretty setter of the volleyball team. People still fawned over his good looks and the quiet genius that he had. But there was something off about him these days, not that you could really explain it. His gaze lingered on you too long and he just so happened to be around you even outside of school hours.

There was one time you went out to eat with your friends on the weekend, going from vendor to vendor along the busy streets of Kichijoji. At some point, you felt the telltale pinpricks at the back of your neck, turning to see his familiar blue eyes staring back at you in the distance. You swore you saw Akaashi that day, but after not seeing it again for the rest of the night, you wondered if you were truly just going insane.

He never outright said the reason why it was over to other people, but at least most knew that Akaashi was at fault. But seeing him so earnestly pleading to have a part of your life again, it made many people sympathize with the setter. They had no idea what he had done wrong, but those ignorant students were so quick to jump on his side.

You tried your best to ignore him, your best friends having your back when it came to his advances. You were rarely ever alone, friends walking with you to and from class. Konoha was your one friendship from the volleyball team that was preserved and he had mentioned once that to even him, something felt off. And so he suddenly started sitting with your group during lunch.

To your knowledge, Akaashi was still pursuing Bokuto romantically as well. The two were often engaged in public displays of affection and so you were curious as to why and how the wing-spiker was okay with Akaashi so actively chasing you. There was something off about the two of them, they were a couple, but not in the traditional sense. They had yet to confirm their relationship publicly, but had no qualms about sharing a quick peck for everyone to see.

You remembered passing the both of them as you exited home, taking the main entrance this time. They were standing there, just waiting by the stairs. You watched as their eyes scanned the crowd quickly before they latched onto you, Bokuto’s owl-like eyes, which usually held a loud innocence, were scarily following you with each step. Akaashi was no better, his blue-eyes that always mystified you, for some reason brought an uncomfortable crawl up your spine.

You only let out a breath when you turned the corner, neither volleyball member able to see you from this distance anymore. But when Bokuto turned the same corner, you felt your pace suddenly hesitate. Akaashi was nowhere to be found, the wing-spiker hot on your trail as you took out your phone. You called the first person you thought of.

“Hey, (L/N)! What’s up?” Konoha’s voice rang through the other end.

“Hey!” You hesitated, not wanting to give anything away as Bokuto’s presence loomed over you, “Um. Are you free?”

“Yeah, but I actually took the train home already.”

“No worries, I’ll go to you!” You urged.

Konoha hesitated, before asking. “Is something wrong? I can tell from your voice something’s off.”

“Um, how about we talk about it over dinner instead?”

“Sure. Where are you now?”

“I’m still by the school.”

“Ah, okay. Go back to the gates where the teachers are, I’ll go to you.”

“Thank you so much!!” You exclaimed, immediately turning around as the phone call ended.

Bokuto was right behind you.

“Hi, (L/N).”

“Bokuto-san.” You greeted, unsure why the upward drag of his gaze was lighting up every nerve in your body. 

All the signs in your head were screaming danger!

“Was that Konoha?”

“I don’t see how that concerns you.” You bit out.

“Not yet, at least.”

You swallowed in fear before angling your head proudly, “Stay away from me.”

Bokuto put a hand on your shoulder, “I know you’re mad at me and Akaashi, but we never meant to hurt you.”

You shook out of his grasp easily, saying nothing to him as you passed. When you returned to the school grounds, Akaashi was still standing where you last saw him. You rushed over to the teacher waiting by the schoolgate, your heart leaping up again when Bokuto turned the corner back to where you were and waited, eyes still trained on you. You busied yourself with your phone, texting your friends and scrolling through social media in the meantime.

It was only when Konoha showed up, this time in casual attire, did you feel like you could breath. Their eyes stayed trained on you and you swore you heard Bokuto snarl when Konoha laid a lazy arm over your shoulders.

You explained it all to Konoha, how the two were freaking you the fuck out these past few days. They kept you on edge, not in the way that should have made you mad for their relationship. But rather like they were too focusing too intently on you to be considered normal, especially with the given circumstances. If Akaashi was truly begging for forgiveness, you would have thrown hands with him long ago. But now, it felt like he was truly stalking you, his eyes following you at every open opportunity.

Konoha listened to your worries and genuinely tried to alleviate your stress. He moved to sit next to you instead of across, hugging you to his body and saying he would do his best to make sure you were okay on school grounds. You didn’t cry, just leaning a head on his shoulder as he caressed lazy circles on your back.

He walked you home that night, your hands held together and a genuine smile on your face.

And true to his word, the next day, Konoha was outside your classroom door after lunch. He even beat Akaashi to it, the setter’s annoyance obvious on his face as he watched you take Konoha’s hand.

Your best friend commended his tenacity, “Konoha is the only one with rights in this house.”

You laughed eagerly then, happy to finally have a feeling of normality setting in again. And for a while, the one who broke your heart was pushed to the side. You had more real problems at the forefront, his blue-eyes were the least of your worries when you had exams and homework due in the next couple of days. 

Akaashi’s quiet gaze and Bokuto’s bold eyes were far from you now - your friends were by your side. 

Or at least, that’s what you thought.

Konoha made sure to walk you home whenever he could. And, as per usual, he was waiting at the gate until he saw you safely enter the abode. Only then did he walk away, heading in the opposite direction toward his own family home. 

You meandered through the kitchen, grabbing an after-school snack and blasting music in one ear as you walked up to your room. Shaking off your backpack, which hung on one-shoulder to begin with, you threw it onto your bed before taking out some of your books. You wanted a jump-start on this homework and you knew that if you mentally wandered off now, there was no doing it at all.

You dragged the textbook out and plopped it on your desk, notebook following as you sat down and mentally prepared yourself. The last few lessons in chemistry were confusing, but not impossible. With the right amount of concentration, it would be done easily with time to spare for a nap within the hour.

Leaning down and angling your head down towards the table, your focus was completely on the task at hand.

You weren’t expecting a completely separate hand to slam the textbook close and latch a firm grip around your neck.

“Finally, we’re alone.”

You struggled against his hold, the striking blue-eyes that you got to know over the past year now reflecting back at you. Akaashi had your neck between his fingers, the usually docile setter lifting you to your tippy-toes. Panic set in just as quickly as you were losing your strength, air circulation cutting off as your ex-boyfriend assaulted your person.

Trying your best to push him off, you punched at both his chest and the arm holding you, but he deflected it easily and simply continued to watch you fail to heave in air in his fist. Only when you felt your eyes rolling backward, barely on the brink of consciousness, did he drop you to the ground.

“I’m sorry, my love.” Akaashi stated, affectionate pet-name a complete contrast to his monotone voice. This was nothing like the boyfriend you had for the past year. His loving eyes screamed of danger and you wanted nothing more than to leave immediately.

You were down on your hands and knees, gasping in air in both shock and disbelief. Had Akaashi really choked you within the safety of your own home? You rubbed at your neck, as if the action would help you fill back-up your lungs. 

You had to get out of here, now.

Glancing over to your door, Akaashi immediately entered your line of sight and kicked you in the abdomen.

“Now how is that fair?” Akaashi asked, “I went through all this trouble to make sure we would have this moment alone.”

You heaved out, “Why are you doing this?”

“You weren’t willing to listen to me back at school.” Akaashi spat out, as if this was your fault. “And I couldn’t wait any longer - who knows how far that bastard Konoha would have gone if I waited?”

Desperate to put any distance between you and this monster, you crawled back toward your bed, only for Akaashi to close it with paces of his own.

“Shut up.” You boldly stated, struggling to stand but doing so anyway. “You are the one who ruined everything.”

“Baby, I said I’m sorry a hundred times and I’ll do it again if I have to.” Akaashi whined before his face took on a darker look, “Why don’t you understand? What do I have to do to make you understand?”

Not wanting to take another kick to the middle or worse, you tried to talk it out before you could think of a plan to escape. “Understand what?”

“Understand how much I love you.”

You reaction was instantaneous, not even your dumb fuck mind could read the danger in the room.

“What a fucking lie.” Akaashi recoiled, ready to challenge you before you continued. “You don’t cheat on the people you love! And you don’t physically hurt them and break into the homes your victims!”

“Yes, I do.”

“Are you fucking phsychotic?!” You yelled back.

Mental reminder: don’t yell that at someone who is clearly off their rockers.

Akaashi laughed loudly, at what exactly, you were not sure. But it was not the right question since it elicited that type of response. He just cracked a half-broken smile, one that felt wrong and yet genuine.

“Get out of my house!”

The look he shot you back - a quirked brow and a small smirk, none of which was the usually calm Akaashi you were used to - basically told you how dumb your statement was.

Instead you asked, “Why are you doing this?”

“To claim the one I love.” He guestered out to you, out-stretching a hand for you to take.

There were two options here: take the hand and get sucked into the immediate space with him. Or don’t take it and risk losing a fight with the nationally-competing athlete in a matter of seconds. Or worse, anger him to the point of extreme violence like before.

There was no convincing yourself this was normal, your shaky hand hesitantly reaching out to Akaashi’s open palm. He smiled gently at you, almost slipping on the usual mask of the perfect boyfriend that you had originally fallen for. But when he tightly gripped your hand and pulled you to him, you knew that was all a farce for this much more violent persona.

“I knew you would understand. We’re meant to be together, I know it.” He murmured against your ear, holding you at the waist against his body. You almost verbally gagged at the thought of him grinding against you, but if you wanted out of his house you would have to take the first opening you got. You had to play it smart.

Akaashi leaned down to kiss you and not even your survival instincts were enough to hide your true feelings. He must not have liked what he was seeing, since he forcibly grabbed at your chin to angle up towards you. You pulled at the feeling, wrapping your arms around the back of his neck to get him to think you were playing into it.

His eyes fluttered closed, relishing in the feel of you steadying yourself, of you giving, against his body.

And you kneed him in the groin as hard as you could.

Akaashi doubled over immediately and his grasp on you crumbled. You took the chance and ran out the door, slamming it behind you as you ran down the hallway and towards the stairs. The danger looming behind you was extraordinary, the loud scream of anger coming from the setter was enough indication that he was hot on your heels.

You scrambled toward your front door, throwing it open and screaming out into the neighborhood for anyone in the near vicinity to help. There was a woman walking her dog and another person on their phone and you pleaded with them with rabid yells for their attention.

But before they even tried to help you, a hand clasped over your mouth and dragged you back into the house.

This person, you could not fight off, his strength more than even you and Akaashi combined. Bokuto pulled you back into your living room, tossing you on the ground with no regard to how much power was behind his movements. 

That was when you realized how much they truly planned this out. You always felt their eyes on you for a reason - they were memorizing your schedule. 

From the route you took home, to when you had off-days, to the one time in weeks that both your parents would not be home tonight - Akaashi and Bokuto had planned it all.

And now you were trapped in your own home with two violent volleyball members.

Bokuto looked at you expectedly while Akaashi trudged down your banister, his gaze harsh and predatory as it scanned your figure on the ground. You were sandwiched between the two, nowhere to run and if you were to scream, then the wing-spiker would just hold you down like before or worse, the setter would choke you until you had no voice.

“Let me go.” You stated, voice promulgating the silent air.

Bokuto crossed his arms and walked to your kitchen, expression on his face stating that he wasn’t willing to listen to you beg. His presence alone was a silent warning, run and he will catch you. 

You backed away from Akaashi but he rushed forward to grab you by the hair, pulling you to a standing position and forcing your lips together. The force was bruising, not at all romantic or gentle like you had done so in the past. He was nipping harshly, surely swollen lips under his teeth as he continued to assault your person. 

“You are mine, forever.” He muttered against your lips, locking in your future least you face the consequences of disobeying.

--------xXxXxXxXxXx--------

Come checkout some of the other ending’s for the Cheater!Akaashi scenario:

➳  Masterlist ➳  Part One ➳  Part Three (nsfw)

#akaashi #akaashi x reader #akaashi keiji #akaashi imagine #akaashi x yn #akaashi scenarios #cheater!akaashi #cheater akaashi #akaashi headcanons #akaashi oneshot #akaashi x you #akaashi x y/n #bokuto koutarou #bokuto kotarou #bokuaka #yandere #yandere akaashi #yandere akaashi keiji #yandere haikyuu #trigger warnings #tg: violence #tg: kidnapping #angst #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu imagine #hq headcanons #hq imagines #hq scenarios #haikyuu scenarios

[roseabelle21]

Sypnosis: You have waited for him. For years you waited for him. Waiting for the time that he'll look at you the way you look at him, to see you the way you see him, to love you like how much you love him. As days bled into years, you accepted the harsh reality that all those things are only forever daydreams. All those years chasing has left you numb, tired, pain, so you stop. Stop, and then turn away from him, ready to start anew. But he doesn't want you to go. 

Status: Unedited

Pairing: Katsuki Bakugou x female! Reader

Genre: Angst

Part 2: In Another Life

Why? 

Why now?

You looked at the sullen face of the man you once loved in front of you. Five feet away from you, so close yet so far. There Bakugou Katsuki stood, hands clenched on his side, teeth gritted, his usually spiky hair has flattened down as if it reflects its owner's emotions. And his eyes, god, you used to love staring at those eyes, always determined and filled with a burning passion, and now you can't recognize them. 

They were pleading, aching, distress; they were in agony. It doesn't suit your eyes, you thought. Never in the years you've been with him would you have imagined that they are directing at you.  

For you. 

You wanted this to be a dream, no, a nightmare. Yet as you both stood at the pouring rain, the cracking of thunder, the rain hitting your skin and dampening your clothes, confirmed that this is all true. It is happening to you right now.

"What?"

You whispered in disbelief, heart pounding in your ears as you clenched the collar of your dress for stability. 

You looked at him, disbelief, hurt, anger, sadness, and confusion all simultaneously. "I-I don't understand?" 

He ran his hands through his hair angrily, gripping on them in frustration as he looked down at the ground. He can't stand this, you looking at him like that, in pain, but he knows he caused this. 

The timing is awful, and he didn't think this through. When Mina told him you wanted to give Inasa a chance to go on a date, the guy that had his eyes on you ever since the Provisional License Exam, something in him snapped. 

Katsuki can't stand it, just imagining you holding someone else's hands, holding you, making you laugh, tell your problems to someone else,  kissing you.

His blood started boiling at the thought, sparks unintentionally popping out of his hands, sending his teammates in panic. No, all of those are the things that you should be doing with him. 

Before he knew it; he was running, begging, praying that he wasn't too late. But he already is.

"I fucking like you! I'm sorry I took so long to realize it, I'm sorry for confusing you now, and I'm sorry-"

"Stop!"

You shouted, causing his eyes to widen, and he raised his head to look at you. The sight of your face broke his heart. 

"Please," you begged, holding your collar ever tighter as tears streamed down your face.

Katsuki took a step forward, reaching his hand towards you, wanting desperately to hug you, and you took a step back. He stopped his actions. 

Dammit, that stings.

"Why?"

He looked confused; first, he opened his lips to answer when you asked again.

"Fucking hell Katsuki why now?!"

Katsuki's taken aback by the sudden raise at your voice, albeit it's not his first time seeing it, this is the first time it is directed towards him. He knew he fucked up big time when your eyes, full of hatred, stared at him. Those eyes that are shining with love and adoration for him, now gone. 

He's ashamed, humiliated, furious, loathing at himself right now that he caused you this much pain. The dress you wore that hugged your curves perfectly, flowing around when you spun now clung to your body like a sponge. Your hair that framed your face like a goddess now stuck at your beginning, damped and ruined, face smudged with mascara, made you look like a hot mess. Still, you look beautiful in his eyes. 

You've always been beautiful, he knows it; he just chose to ignore it. 

"I have been by your side for years, Katsuki," you started, bringing him back to reality. "I was with you at your best, and I was with you at your lowest. I was with you when you started achieving your goals. Katsuki," you looked at his eyes, "I have always been by your side when you were too blind to notice."

He ran, he ran towards you and took you in his arms., holding you tighter when you started resisting, punching his chest, pushing him away, trying to pry his arms off of you. Despite the cold rain that soaked his shirt, he is so warm. 

You gave up it was futile anyway, but you didn't wrap your arms around him. They fall limp at your sides, sobbing even louder when he whispered in your ear, "I know."

Both of you just stood there in the pouring rain. It's like the weather is sympathizing along with you, crying because you no longer can hold the pain. 

If he confessed to you a year ago; you would have flown over the moon in joy. And now that he is revealing to you when you are ready to move on and find someone new, you feel numb. 

"Was it obvious that I liked you?" You asked, not looking up at him. You wouldn't have been able to see his face as he buried it in your hair as he confirmed your answer and ignored your usage of past tense. 

"Am I necessary to you?" You questioned, another batch of tears stinging your eyes when he answered. 

"More than you know."

Katsuki's hold on, you loosened even if he wanted to hold you longer, so you took that chance to detach yourself from him, wiping your eyes as you took a step back.

The rain has calm, till it stopped altogether. 

Realizing the time, you straightened your posture and looked at him dead in the eye, void of any emotion. 

"Do you want what's best for me?"

He nodded his head frantically, eyes lighting up for a second, "of course I fucking do-"

"Then leave me alone."

Katsuki felt his heart stop, and the air around him grew colder. He wanted you to admit that this is just a suck prank, a horrible nightmare. Would you please say anything to make his heart stop aching? 

"W-what? Stop shiting with me (Y/N)-"

"What makes you think I am?" You replied instantly. He physically froze at the tone of your voice. 

You took a step towards him, him taking action back this time.

"It's not my fault that you just realized your feelings for me when I'm ready to move on." 

Step.

"It's not my fault that you chose to ignore your feelings for me."

Step.

"It's not my fault that after all these years of chasing, something you knew but chose to ignore that I grew tired."

Step. 

"It's not my fault that I'm willing to choose someone else who can treat me better

then you can."

Step.

Stop.

"It's my choice when I want to stop loving you." You drew a shaky breath afterward. 

Katsuki's ears are ringing. He was so pale that he looked like he had seen a ghost. He stared at you, shocked, upset, unbelieving. He wanted to deny it. Deny the fact that he was too late. He knew that there was still a chance, but deep inside, he knew that you were right. 

You stared at each other one last time before you turned your heel and walked away.

A fresh batch of tears now rolled down your face, heart-clenching, and longing, wanting to give the man of your dreams a chance to be with him and hopefully a start of a beautiful relationship. You almost gave in, but your mind stayed firm. 

No. Enough. 

No more chasing.

No more longing.

No more fantasizing.

It's time to start a new leaf. Give a chance to others who are willing and trying to be with you, to make you happy, to treat you like you deserve. Who will love you back just as unconditionally as you do?

Katsuki Bakugou watched as you turned the corner, out of sight but still in mind.

Memories of you replayed in his mind like a movie: your first meeting, your first duo activity, when you saved him from the villains, when he opened up about his insecurities to you, your late-night talks, your blatant flirting, your smile, your laughter, your tears, your confession, you supporting him achieving his dreams, you walk away. Just you.

You.

Him losing you.

He fell to his knees and let out an anguished scream. Tears are falling like a waterfall and heart-shattering in a million pieces. Katsuki didn't flinch when someone wrapped their arms around him. He didn't push him away because he knew who that person was. 

The Bakusquad watched him pour his heart out. They warned him about this, warning him ever since that if he doesn't make a move soon, she's going to slip away from him. 

And she did. 

Kirishima held him; he didn't know what else to do. Telling him that everything will be okay is a lie. Katsuki wished upon the universe to bring you back to him. This time he will treat you right. This time, he will cherish you never like before; he will show you how much he loves you. 

He will do anything, anything. Just don't tell him that your love is gone. 

A/N: Hello and thank you for reading! This is my first fic on tumblr and I hope that you enjoyed it. Reblogging and liking my fic if you liked it will be appreaciated.♥️♥️♥️

#katsuki x you #bnha bakugo katsuki #katsuki bakugou #bakugou imagine #bakugou x reader #bnha x reader #bakugou katsuki angst #katsuki bakugou x reader #katsuki bakugou x you #bnha angst

[mega-ringsandthings-world]

I’m rewatching all my fave? english-centered period dramas in preparation for  new one coming out, twq, twp, tsp, the tudors, and I know we all love the tudor family here, but good lord was twp such a mess that I ended up actively hating every Tudor character in it. (which was kinda the point, imao) The twp show was based off phillipa gregory's books (that are even worse than the show) and they both shredded the characterizations of everyone in them to the point that they might as well be OCs based on historical figures. Literally the only reason I was able to make it through was because of the actors. jodie and jcls acting carried it at the best of times, and JCL is hot, so... and I’m so glad they got michelle fairley and essie davis as EW and MB, or else it would of been unwatchable.  I couldn’t really root for either lizzie or henry, because their characterizations and personalities were so inconstant and varied wildly from ep to ep, its like I was watching different people in each ep. nd that’s a big part of why I favored the York plotlines/characters more, at least most of them (except lizzie) stayed constant in their characterizations/motives (even if all they were consistent with was revenge against the tudors) And rooting for the tudors in general was hard too, since the show was bending backwards to make them all assholes. (JT gets a pass tho, he was just trying to raise his kid right) No one was really likable, you get a good moment with someone and then the next moment they’re doing something batshit, e.i, henry’s good for a while and then starts being a dick, (wtf was up with imply he slept with cathy gordon and him being such a bitch to lizzie out of the blue?) or you’re starting to sympathize with Margret Beaufort and then she kills another kid, which like, the decision to have her kill the two princes was a choice, and I won’t hesitate to say I enjoyed the drama it brought. Along those lines, the show is marginally enjoyable if you divorce it from the history its trying to retell and treat it as a game-of-thrones-bodice-ripper-drama, which was the intent of the author in the frst place, but whatever. That some of the best acting on the show came plots/situation that weren’t even real irl is wild, and that says a lot. henry’s talk with lizzie about her loving him, but not like she did w/rIII, and his depression-breakdown (never happened),  over his mother being a murderer and the whole thing with Richard Jr./percy warbeck was just juicy, later moments with lizzie and the bit when she talks to richard jr./pw in the tower and his laugh reminds her so much of her father? and then the execution scene? good shit.  A fave bit was henry sitting all despondent in his room remembering the killing of richardIII, and yes they did actually have richardIII buried alive in this show, jfc. It goes again to the bad characterization that ep 1 lizzie would have strangled him outright if she’d found that out, but lizzie in this ep would have been meh. Speaking of which, the short-lived friendship between richard jr./pw and teddy was extremely sweet, which made their executions all that more horrific. within the narrative of the show, R jr./pw seemed like he would have actually made an excellent king, he never seemed anything but kind and honorable, although adamant about his claim, and lizzie’s fear he would kill her children, which was  not unfounded of course, was also made mostly her entire basis for having him killed in the show, even though he was never presented as someone who would do that? make it make sense, or at least hint he would want to harm the kids after taking the throne, instead of showing him as incredibly nice. And in this show, with richard jr./pw being the actual richard, and mb having tried to kill him as a boy and framing richardIII for it, he’s more than justified in wanting the throne and justice. except that never happened irl, and the show has me rooting for a pretender instead of the certified monarchs, which are SUPPOSED TO BE THE “HEROES” OF THIS SHOW. and like, claimants to the throne are usually entitled fucks by nature, I don’t know why everyone hates richardjr./pw for being entitled, when every person who ever laid claim to a throne ever does so on the belief of entitlement to that throne?   And tell me how there was more chemistry between lizzie and faceless richard III in a four-second flashback than she and henry had in most scenes? I’m not saying that lizzie and henry didn’t have chemistry in the show, because they did, (at least the actors did) but once again, their inconsistent characterization marred a lot of scenes that would otherwise be amazing. Then the whole thing where henry r*ped her nd it was shown to be directly caused by her mentioning her relationship with richardIII? Messy, messy messy. after that, it was hard to “feel” lot of her and henry’s scenes even in better contexts. I ship lizzie/richardIII out of spite for that nasty-ass scene alone, because I can’t sit there and watch lizzie falling for her rapist. and then lizzie is vilified for her relationship with richardIII, yet the show implies that Margaret B is in love with her own brother, has lizze taunt her over it, and then present JT marrying/ MB her arranging his marriage as a tragedy for MB? Sir? Ma’am? Jasper Tudor straight up implying that his sister should get a fucking annulment so they can be together, and MB actually considering it gets a pass? more like margaret lannister. Then they bring up richarchIII as a gotcha to lizzie every other ep? someone inform henry that his beloved mother wants to fuck her brother, his beloved uncle and see if he keeps throwing rIII in lizzie’s face every five minutes. EYE. god, this show is bad, bad.  Don’t get me started on the burgundy plot. if you’re going to have the duchess start a war on a whim, at least imply she was possessed to do so by EW’s magic, or have the balls to make her stepdughter’s death actually the fault of the tudors. And poor fucking maggie. it was hard for her irl, but it’s intolerable for her within the show.   Sorry, this got long, I’m ranting at this point because holy hell ITS BAD. If you take it as a show that’s supposed to be about real life historical figures it’s a trash fire, but you really should just watch it as a story like bridgerton. makes it more tolerable.  You know you’ve lost it when a show that’s supposed to be about the unification of two great houses and the love story (not that it was reallly that great of a love story irl either, but that’s for another day) between the scions of those houses gives me hives and makes me wish the burgundy plot succeeded.   

#the white princess #twp #the white queen #twq #the spanish princess #tsp #elizabeth of york #eoy #henry vii #henry tudor #margaret beaufort #jasper tudor #the war of the roses #the yorks #the tudors #tudor history

[mysticalmusicwhispers]

#i wonder what your thoughts on diaspora in hetalia are#cause its a pretty interesting topic (the post in question)

@urmomsstuntdouble a collection of things that I think about on a semi-regular basis below the cut (also thank you for the tags!)

Disclaimer: I think this turned into more of a discussion of immigration and immigrants, but I hope this strikes your fancy anyways 😅. Also this got SO LONG and I explained quite a bit of history (because idk whether anyone knows much about this), so the key thoughts will be bolded!

My thoughts are kinda complicated about this tbh; it’s weird, because if China really did exist as a personification in real life, we’d probably both be judging each other, just for different reasons 😅.

General Hetalia Cases

I think when discussing immigrants/diaspora, you have to think about why different immigrants left. @cupofkey kinda discussed that a while ago (if anyone hasn’t seen this superb post, GO READ IT NOW) about the Vietnamese diaspora, and I think there’s some of that in every country. How do the immigrants feel about the home country? Why did they leave: because of hard times, poverty? Political instability/revolution/war? Opportunities overseas? Are they doing well in their new home, or still struggling? Does their new country treat them like foreigners or outcasts, unworthy of even arriving, or doing anything besides menial labor, or have they been welcomed (rather unlikely)? Do they hate their home country (politically), or miss them? Would they ever go back, not just to visit family or the place of their birth, but to return permanently?

I think on the whole, hetalia nations would still maintain a connection to their immigrants, especially since most are still in touch with their culture, although they’ve crossed borders or changed nationalities. (However, the angst of not being as in touch with your culture as you think you should is so real; would our home countries be disappointed? Or do they sympathize, somehow?) In the end, we’re all the same that way. Plus, the alternative thought of them just disowning immigrants feels weird; I don’t even know how that would be possible. But I think that connection gets complicated by the reason people left, and their feelings for their place of origin; I’ll be using APH China and Chinese Americans as an example to discuss this hksdgsdf (sorry I don’t want to do more research than necessary and I have Thoughts about this)

**OBLIGATORY DISCLAIMER that immigration/diaspora discussions are almost always case by case and will vary greatly based on things like country of origin/race/ethnicity, country immigrated to, initial socioeconomic status, time period, etc. And even among diaspora, people can and will have vastly different experiences, and it’s not good to generalize. These are just some thoughts with one example.**

1. Waves of Immigration 

Depending on when people arrive, they’ve got different push/pull factors drawing them to a country and it also factors into how the nation feels about them and vice versa... Chinese immigration to the US has mostly two major waves (you could also say there were 3, counting the post-WWII/Communist China wave, but I won’t talk about that): one in the mid 1800s and the other after the 1970s/1980s into modern day; the gap is because the Chinese Exclusion Act (1882) that banned most immigration from China wasn’t repealed until 1943 (because of Japan’s attack on the US in WWII, the US needed China as an ally).

IMMIGRATION WAVE 1: MID 1800s

These immigrants were mostly from southern China (Canton area), and they came to the US because of hard times (Opium Wars + political instability because of things like the Taiping Rebellion) and economic opportunity in the West (eg. Gold Rush (San Francisco is literally “Old Gold Mountain” in Chinese today) + industrialization, railroads, expansion etc.). There was Much Discrimination against those immigrants, and many worked as hard laborers in a variety of occupations (on railroads, gold mine, farms (in the South esp), laundry businesses; there were merchants as well, but they were the minority); many were looking to get some money that they could send back to their families in China and planned to return, but over time, they settled down and stayed. I think for those immigrants, Yao would definitely be understanding, even if he might not be empathetic. After all, he’s not thriving at that time either, and although he thinks Alfred is inferior to him (in many ways), he understands why people would be drawn by economic promise and quick wealth, even if it might not be the best strategy for getting rich. It’s not like staying in China would be better lmao. However, I don’t think he would approve (?) how many of his immigrants stayed in the US when most viewed it as a temporary move; I think Yao is very surprised by how so many of them persisted to carve out a home there, despite the discrimination and limited opportunities. Perhaps he admires their resilience, the creation of Chinatowns and community and how they still come to a country that doesn’t even let them in (see the San Francisco Fire of 1906 and the boon for paper sons), but still wishes they would come back, however unlikely that hope is. Personally, Yao would never be able to stay in Alfred’s country, the beautiful country, if Alfred’s hypocrisy prevented his experience, his immigrant’s experience, from being anything close to beautiful. (You were founded by immigrants and foreigners, but now you spurn them: the poor sojourners who continue to flee to your shores, and refuse them respite from the disasters at home.) And anyways, Alfred is just the next scrappy young upstart, barely 70 years old but with a swagger like he rules the world; how could he have something over himself, the Middle Kingdom, who has stood the test of time? (Admittedly, he’s doing nowhere as well as Alfred—even he can see that, despite his pride, and despite the haze of opium in his brain. Leaving is the logical, objectively sound choice. Still, his pride hurts vaguely when he thinks how his immigrants keep choosing a country that keeps rejecting them, over and over again, instead of himself. But it is no matter. The injury to his ego is inconsequential and easily brushed aside; for they are still his people, and they deserve a good life, wherever they are. His distaste for Alfred flares up again: Arthur’s bastard child, who takes advantage of his trade (see the Open Door Notes, 1899-1900), but refuses his people.)

if anyone wants more context or is interested in the history I mentioned, I highly recommend this pdf (from the book A Different Mirror: A History of Multicultural America by Ronald Takaki)

IMMIGRATION FROM 1949 TO 1980: according to Wikipedia, there was very little immigration from mainland China during this period due to the Cold War and China becoming Communist; most of the immigration was from Taiwan/ROC but counted in the quota for China. Since there’s a separate Hetalia personification for TWN, I’m not going to go over that. However, there were also many people from Mainland China who escaped to Hong Kong, still a British colony, during that period (I hope it’s clear why, but if anyone asks I’ll put it in a separate post); some stayed there, while others emigrated to the US; both trips were for more freedoms and a better life etc because China was really really messed up for a bit (also keep in mind the people emigrating all had the means to and were at least middle class, usually somewhat educated, etc.). I will not be talking about that group either because I don’t think it’s my place to, but please know they exist as well.

IMMIGRANT WAVE 2: 1980s ONWARD

A lot of people came from mainland China for education; there was also an. exodus of intellectuals following 1989 (which I Will Not get into). Many of these people sought job opportunities, like those that rapidly opened up in the computer industry, there are many students who come here to study abroad, who take SATs and TOEFLs to get into good US colleges or to conduct graduate research and get PhDs; some stay, others have gone back to like, advance China’s development (this sentiment of getting good students to go abroad and then go back to China to use their talents for Patriotic Purposes isn’t a new thing, stretches back to like the late 1800s). I don’t really have much to say about this group besides what’s below ↓. 

2. Immigrant Thoughts On Their Home Country

more complicated, because it varies by generation and time period and probably 203943 other things. Mainlanders that came over starting in the 1990s till now have relatively positive feelings towards China (imo, extrapolating from my life experiences); I think part of that is also because most* of these immigrants aren’t really escaping from something? They’re coming for an education/job opportunities (students studying abroad in the US (留学生 or liuxuesheng) for graduate school or university come to mind as one example), and they’re still very much connected to China politically and culturally, sometimes* more so than to the US. For these immigrants, I think Yao doesn’t worry too much about them? They’re pretty successful* overall*, and discrimination, although still A Large Problem™, isn’t the same from stuff that Yao (or his immigrants) remember from, say the mid 1800s (see above), or even during the paranoia about Communists after WWII and the subsequent Chinese Confession Program that made many people really scared of being deported. (Red China made Chinese Americans a target of the Communist panic, and the confession program was instated in order to make sure Communist spies couldn’t infiltrate the US. Those who immigrated illegally could confess that and gain citizenship; however you also had to weed out everyone you knew who also immigrated illegally.) I think Yao would see them as an extension of himself in a different land; they’re very much still part of him, and he gives them his well wishes.

However, I think that immigrants born in the US in modern day at least (1990s onwards) are definitely more ambivalent about China’s legacy + modern day Issues™, as much as we are connected via culture and heritage. Not quite sure how Yao would feel about that, because I’m not quite sure how much Yao is the state and how much he represents the people. However, I think there would be some mutual unease; does he see this as betrayal of some kind? Perhaps he doesn’t blame us for feeling as we do? Maybe he wonders what we feel about him; maybe he doesn’t want to know. Maybe he chooses the easier route: to focus on the bonds between him and his huayi instead of the grievances, and leave the rest unsaid. 

Additionally with first gen immigrants, there’s the conflicting feeling of being stuck between two worlds and value systems that oppose each other in many respects. Also there’s sometimes a feeling of not-quite-being-in-touch-with-your-culture (in other diaspora as well, ofc. here it’s often exemplified by forgetting or not knowing how to read and write Chinese proficiently, among other things 🙃); idk. does Yao see that as a bit of a disappointment? Would he wish us to try harder? Does he view it as inevitable, for those raised in the US; the environment is too different, and perhaps he won’t blame us for those differences, or shortcomings. Does Yao know, or care, about the racism? What about his immigrants who try to assimilate completely into American culture, who try to erase the Chinese part of their identity? Those that have tried it, but regretted it? Are they still his, when they have tried rejecting their connection to him, choosing to drop the “Chinese” from Chinese American? Does he consider racism when thinking about them? What about international adoptees? Does he claim them, when some have not been raised in a culturally Chinese environment, and when it’s still a sensitive subject on both sides of the ocean? I don’t have answers to many of these questions.

There are also immigrants who fled China because of war or persecution or upheaval, (one example is with regards to the Cultural Revolution), but I don’t feel qualified to discuss it here, and I don’t want to take it lightly.

But, despite everything I’ve discussed above, I’d like to think that however an immigrant feels about their home country or however long they’ve been there, all nation personifications would still wish them a better life (even Yao). I mean, it’s not always easy being an immigrant/part of a diaspora (especially when race becomes a factor). I really don’t think any of the hetalia characters would say “look at your struggles. What a mistake it was to immigrate somewhere where you still face so many challenges, although they might be different from the ones back home”. that’s just No. Also, I think that when you disregard sentimentality and their inherent connection to the people, countries would still be able to sympathize with people trying to strive for better, you know? People immigrate for a better life, whether it’s because it was getting rough when they left or because other places had more potential, and like. although nation-people can’t leave their own country, I think they understand the people who do, because it’s a chance to make a new life, and it would be unkind, counterproductive, limiting, to prevent someone from taking that opportunity if it came. And their children, and grandchildren; they are still connected to their origins even in a new country, by blood if nothing else, and nations are people too; they must have some sentimentality for their people born in a different land. I’d like to think that if Yao met a Chinese American kid running around San Francisco’s Chinatown, or bumped into an ABC high schooler in a well to do Massachusetts suburb, he’d stop and nod and maybe say hello, and wish them luck, wherever they go in the future. After all, they are the products of his immigrant’s hopes and dreams, and they are his too, as much as they live in Alfred’s land.

* (asterisks): this is a) from my experience and research; not everyone will have the same experiences! please keep this in mind and don’t generalize a very vast group of people. :)

Idk if that was too sentimental or rambly or something, but yeah, those are some of the things I consider when I think about nations and their diasporas. If you made it down here, thanks for reading! I greatly appreciate it. Also I hope I got all my facts correct, but if anyone spots anything incorrect, especially regarding the post 1980s immigration wave, please tell me! Tried doing my research but there are still a few things I’m unsure about rip. 

This might be deleted tomorrow because I’m feeling weird about it, but feel free to reblog! I’d also very much love some feedback too if any of y’all are feeling up to it

#i was thinking about a lot of this when writing the zine fic so this post is partially an extension of that #hws china #aph china #musings #hetalia #nation lore #hws #aph #aph china headcanons #hetalia worldbuilding #headcanon musings #hetalia headcanons #I GUESS??

[kumoriyami-xiuzhen]

Hakuoki SSL Store Bonus Drama CD 《Their Youth~ Student Council Helper Episode～》

....Why are people subscribing to me on youtube? like i get that people subscribe for the otome stuff i translate and subtitle (which i only really do so that i can have a copy of it for myself), but i don’t really think that people should be subscribing if they expect more Gokushufudou content since I don’t have anything else that I can or want to translate for that series....

anyway, this is my translation of the 薄桜鬼SSL -sweet school life- いまじんWEBショップ特典ドラマCD「彼らの青春 ～生徒会助っ人編～」 drama. I was only able to obtain the audio for this from a certain site that doesn’t allow for sharing... so I am unable to put anything else out for this... unless someone shares the audio and an image with the cd and their username or w/e on it (alternatively, if it shows up on bilibili or something then i’ll be able to use that), though I will edit it when i make my own subtitles for this. lol. sorry but not sorry?

anyway, enjoy~  image used is from suruga-ya.

Hakuoki SSL Store Bonus Drama CD 《Their Youth~ Student Council Helper Episode～》

Translation by KumoriYami

Yamzaki: The private school, Hakuo Gakuen. The school we attend, based on the school principal, Kondou-sensei's, intentions, we adhere to his educational policy of "becoming warriors with indomitable spirit", not just while learning and when participating in club activities, but while also working harder for the community, or so it should be.... but there are always exceptions to everything in the world.

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Hakuoki SSL Store Bonus Drama CD 《Their Youth~ Student Council Helper Episode～》

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(knocks)

Yamazaki: Excuse me, is Hijikata-sensei here?

Hijilata: Oh? It's Yamazaki. What is it?

 Yamazaki: Sanan-sensei asked me to bring these materials over to you. 

Hijikata: So it was like that. Thanks. By the way, Yamazaki....... Do you have a moment right now? 

Yamazaki. yes. I'm not doing anything right now.

Hijikata: In that case, sorry...... can you go to the student council to do something? Today Amagiri and Shiranui both happened to take the take the day off today, and there apparently is insufficient manpower on hand. 

Yamazaki: The student council.......is it......?

 Hijikata: Uh, the average person would react like that... I've already asked several people before asking you, and as soon as they heard "student council," they immediately ran away.

Yamazaki: I can sympathize with those students. because I am not really good at dealing with the student council president. 

 Hijikata: When it comes to that guy, I believe that if you searched the entire world, that you wouldn't find many people good at dealing with him. Nothing can be done though, I'll go help this time...

Yamazaki: Wha...!? How can Hijikata-sensei personally attend to this matter! In that case, I'll go help the student council!

Hijikata: Can you? To be frank, this is a chore.

Yamazaki: A gentleman's word is his bond!

 Hijikata: Then I'll leave it to you.... But if something goes wrong, you need to immediately report to me. 

Yamazaki: Yes! I'll be going to the student council room now!

(Yamazaki leaves)

Hijikata; Yamazaki is too straightforward... I hope he doesn't overdo it...

(student council room)

Yamazaki: (knocks on door) Excuse me. I'm the second year, Yamazaki. Hijikata-sensei entrusted me to help you.

Kazama: By Hijikata? Che, he's meddling into other people's business/can't mind his own business. He most likely coaxed you into helping, but whatever the case, if you think you can help, I will provide you this opportunity.

 Yamazaki: (Obviously he's in the position of receiving a favour, but why he so overbearing/arrogant?!)

Kazama: Did you say something? 

Yamazaki: I didn't say anything! Returning to the topic/Anyway, what can I help you with?

Kazama: here, put these clothes on first. 

Yamazaki:...What's with this collar and Japanese-style school uniform?! Our school's official uniform is a suit/Western-style clothes. 

Kazama: This uniform is of the same style as Amagiri's uniform. Although it's only temporary, you'll need it to wear this is you are to complete the student council's work [gave up rewording all of this].

Yamazaki: Even so! Modifying the uniform goes against the school rules... 

 Kazama: Hey! As student council president, I am saying that there are no problems! I am the school rules! 

Yamazaki: (How did such a person become the Student Council president?)

 Kazama: Good, now that you understand, hurry up and change clothes in the dressing room, then get to work.

Yamazaki: ( No other choice but to resign myself.... [tl uses an idiom that can mean "submit to hte will of the heavens," "resign (oneself to fate)," or to "leave it to luck"]) Understood!

(door opens)

Hijikata: Oi, Kazama! you there?

Kazama: It turns out it was Hijikata. What brings you here? If you want to leave please turn right and head straight.

Hijikata: Someone just came in, why are you already trying to chase them away! I was just worried about Yamazaki, so I came to check on him. 

Kazama: Yes. Then if you're done, hurry up and leave.

Hijikata: You bastard.... Anyway, where is Yamazaki?! I don't see him...

(door opens)

Yamazaki: Kazama-senpai, excuse me. I've finished changing clothes...

Hijikata:……Yamazaki?!

Kazama: Hrm. As expected, people rely on clothes [clothes do make the man? or clothes bring out a person? can't exactly think of an equivalent right now tho]. Such an appearance is barely passable. 

Hijikata: Wait a moment! What's with that strange uniform?!

Kazama: This is a custom-made uniform made for the student council. Since he's helping the student council, isn't it common sense to dress like this?

Hijikata: What common sense! That clearly violates the school rules... 

 Yamzaki: It's fine, Hijikata-sensei... 

Hijikata: Nn?

Yamazaki: I'll think of this as a a work uniform! Anyway, Kazama-senpai, about the content of that work...

Kazama: Che, don't tell me that you aren't able to do unless you receive orders from me? It's such a waste that you are unable to understand your superior's mind, and require someone to explain everything to you so that you can act. 

Yamazaki:...!!

Hijikata: I'm afraid that if you searched the entire world, the only person who would be able to understand your mind, would be Amagiri?!

Kazama: No choice then. I shall mercifully/gracefully provide instructions to those that are stupid. There will be a meeting to pay for club activities/budget meeting for all of the clubs tomorrow. However, only a handful of reports have been submitted, and what has been isn't sufficient to be used as materials/ a reference to approve of the clubs' expenses. In other words, you should go investigate for me to see if all of the club activities are actually being held. 

Yamazaki: Understood! Which clubs [tl is for "department] do I need to investigate?

Kazama: Needless to say, it's all the clubs within Hakuo Gakuen. The deadline is today.

Hijikata: Don't be so forceful [ridiculous!]!! Have you even thought about how many clubs there are at this school?!

Kazama: Amagiri and Shiranui would complete this within an hour, which this trivial matter cannot be considered a problem. If this can't be done, I won't force it. This only proves to me that you do not have a good eye for talent from the help you recommended to me, Hijikata [gave up rewording after 8 times].

Yamazaki:...I understand. I will certainly be able to investigate all of the clubs today!

Kazama: When the moment comes, don't go back on your word. This is a list of all the clubs at Hakuo Gakuen. 

 Yamazaki: The total number of clubs at Hakuo Gakuen is... 108?!

----------

(footsteps)

 HIjikata: Ah... it's been a while since Yamazaki darted out of the student council room... Is he really okay? I hope he didn't get involved in anything strange...

 Yamazaki: L-Let go of me! I, I hate this sort of thing!! 

Hijikata: Nn? 

 Yamazaki: Even if you say that you can't understand the specifics of this club without personally trying it, I don't want to do this...!!! Let go of me!!!

Hijikata; That voice just now.... Yamazaki? (runs over) Oi! Yamazaki!

---------

(bouncing sound [haven't listened to this drama in a while so this might not be accurate, tho the tl does say bouncing])

???: Ah....... Hijikata-sensei......

Hijikata: Oi! What's with this huge stuffed animal?!

Yamazaki: It's me! Yamazaki!

Hijikata: A-ah..... nn, nn.... I, I can hear your voice..... but, but what I hear doesn't sound like the Yamazaki I recognize...! 

Yamazaki: That's because of this [i think?]! I am the genuine Yamazaki! I'm just wearing this costume! Ah... sorry to trouble you, but can you please help me pull the back zipper down?

 Hijikata: Ye-Yeah...

Yamazaki: Hah... finally escaped from that...!

Hijikata: You... why were you dressed like that?! 

Yamazaki: Because.... when I went to the costume club, their members said they just finished these clothes, and that I had to try it on....

Hijikata:....Those animal overalls are part of a costume?

Yamazaki: No matter what happens, I never want to come back to the costume club!! But... normally I wouldn't have such a chance, and after seeing it with my own eyes, I now know that there are many clubs at our school.

Hijikata: That's because when Kondou-san was thinking about club establishment, he said to respect the individuality of the students. As long as the activities' content and purpose are clearly stated, provided that they aren't bad, and if the number of club members reaches a certain level, any club can be established.

Yamazaki: I think, by using the costume club as an example, there are actually quite a lot of informal clubs... 

Hijikata: It seems that it will be necessary to re-examine those clubs in the future.... Anyway, which club are you going to next?

Yamazaki: The mountaineering club. Judging from the club's name, the content of the activities should be straightforward. To be honest, I feel relieved. 

 Hijikata: No, that club... 

Yamazaki: Then, I'll be going there as fast as I can. I'll be taking my leave first! 

(Yamazaki leaves)

Hijikata: Eh... I remember they were supposed to go climbing today.... Going back to their activities, isn't mountaineering difficult [tl for mountaineering can be interpreted as "climbing," "to climb a mountain," and "mountaineering."]?!

------------------

 Yamazaki: (All sorts of problems kept on occurring after that during the inspection. The drama club was infected with an influenza virus [no idea how else to reword that right now], and all of their members were sick so I was unable to investigate their activities in detail; I wasted time at the kendo club because of Okita-kun's pranks; the mime club didn't speak during their activities, which resulted in even the most basic communication not being achievable... Will it really be possible for me to inspect all of the clubs today?)

-------------

(knocking)

 Hijikata: Oi, Kazama! I'm coming in. 

Kazama: Hijikata. It's really rude for someone to enter without being given my permission. 

Hijikata: Didn't I knock and say greetings in advance? It's almost the end of the school day, is Yamazaki back yet?

 Kazama: Not yet. I thought he was a bit capable, but I apparently underestimated him. 

Hijikata: I believe in him. Although he has a tendency to overdo things and often fails to get the key points, once he makes up his mind, he will surely be able to complete any task.

Kazama: Hrm~ that's the same as someone else/you're two peas in a pod. That being the case, let's bet. 

Hijikata: I'm not interested in betting with students. But if we were betting, I'd bet that Yamazaki will be able to accomplish his task. 

Kazama: Then I will bet that he did everything in vain/will be useless. 

HIjikata: I won't feel sorry for you if you lose. 

Kazama: Hmph. Don't steal my words. Look at the time, the school bell will be ringing soon. 

(Running then a door opens)

 Yamazaki: (gasping) Inspections on the club activities... it's all done.... hah....

Hijikata: That's great! Well done, Yamazaki!

Kazama: Che......

 Yamazaki: Hu..... Thank..... you..... (collapses)

 Hijikata: Oi oi!! Are you okay?! 

 Yamazaki: I..... I'm..... fine......

Kazama: Really, I'm blaming you for messing up all of the materials.... Nn?

Hijikata: What are those documents?

Kazama: They seem to be reports on the club activities.

Hijikata: Ha?! Didn't Yamazaki write the reports for that?!

 Kazama: Nn. These are all...

Hijiikata:....Oi! That can't be....!!

Kazama: It looks like Amagiri wrote yesterday. But he actually tossed them into the piles of documents of here, which resulted in no one knowing that he had written such reports. 

Yamazaki: What.....!!

Hijikata: That......!!

Kazama: Hmph. It looks like I won, Hijikata. All his efforts turned out to be worthless.

Yamazaki: Ho-How is that possible...!!

Hijikata: You're not feeling even the slightest bit guilty, are you even even speaking as a human?! This is all your student council's fault!!

 Kazama: Hmph. Go and complain to Amagiri.

Hijikata: You need to take responsibility for the lack of supervision! Besides, what the hell were you doing when Yamazaki was running around everywhere complete that task?! If you were doing a good job, you should have been able to notice this!! 

Kazama: Of course I'm working. My job is to complete the ambitious project called "Writing down all of My Wife's 100's Strengths/Virtues/Good Qualities"! These forms took me a week to complete and it is a magnificent written masterpiece! 

Hijikata: You bastard... you were doing something this stupid while Yamazaki was struggling!

 Kazama: What are you barking about? What's more important than this?

Yamazaki: I tore it up to show you————!! [im guessing this is more "i pushed myself" or "I'm going to tear that up." probably the latter]

Kazama: Nn? What do you think? Do you want to look at it? Although your efforts were futile, I will mercifully/graciously acknowledge your actions. Alright, I'll lett you look. But you have have to treat it carefully.

Yamazaki: I'm blaming this for what happened—!!! (tears up Kazama's documents)

Kazama: Stop that! My week of hard work! Hi-Hijikata! Why are you grabbing me?!

Hijikata: You reap what you sow! Obediently accept reality!! 

Kazama: My priceless masterpiece———!!!

~END~

got ME:LE working last weekend... and omg it’s like a walk down memory lane lol. finished the first game though im going to have to do an insanity playthrough for the achievement later. 

#hakuoki #hakuouki #hakuoki ssl #hakuoki drama cd #hakuoki drama translation #Yamazaki Susumu #Hijikata Toshizou #Kazama Chikage

[ruby-whistler]

This is targeted at your dream apologist post, just to be up front. Just wanted to give my two cents in on some of the stuff w/o doing a whole rebuttal, since… I don’t really want to lol. To start off, I had an issue with how you framed the beginnings of Lmanberg. How Lmanberg formed wasn’t colonizing, it was just independence from the greater dsmp from a set of members that disliked the way things were ran by Dream (and by more direct extension, the rest of the dsmp citizens, namely sapnap.) Dream was protecting his power, not any kind of attachment made to the server, I’d argue, becuz in the end the way he relinquished control was by gaining more; by getting leverage over one of the original members, Tommy, via taking his discs.

Another thing, you shouldn’t be angry at ppl for not feeling sympathetic for a character that’s done such heinous things against other characters. You’re more then welcome to feel bad for him yourself, but no one else has to. After watching the whole of Tommy’s exile arc, it’s very clear to see the Dream was cruel and horrible to a child that hardly deserved it. Dream was dehumanizing to Tommy. Making him put all of his self earned items into a hole every visit and promptly destroying it all, telling Tommy that his friends don’t miss him, blowing up Logstedshire after finding Tommy’s secret room (that he hid from Dream to stop him from destroying it) filled with Tommy’s resources for escaping, not even allowing him to leave, these aren’t the actions of a good person put into a hard place, or a person with trauma dealing poorly with said trauma. That isn’t justifiable. Dream shouldn’t be allowed to hurt and inflict trauma onto another person becuz he has trauma. What he did to Tommy and to his friends (saying he didn’t care about them, saying he only cares about Tommy’s discs, Sapnap even had that sad moment of “you don’t think he meant it did you?” which. Yknow. Look between the lines methinks) was awful and doesn’t have to be forgiven by either the victims or the fans of said victims.

My opinion on the prison stay is…. I don’t really care lol. I definitely do see it as he deserves it, because what he did to Tommy was horrific. I don’t have any real sympathy for an abuser, especially one that does shit that I’ve had done to me before and done against a character I relate to heavily. So. Sue me if I think that Dream should have his shit rocked. Ignoring that Dream had very clear reasons as to why he was put into the prison and the fact that many characters have reasons to hate his guts and also not feel sympathy for him is…. Definitely the Dream apologist mantra. Noah fence ^^

One last bit since this ask is getting real long, but it was narratively cathartic to see Dream actually receiving punishment for his actions. Cathartic quite literally means “psychological relief through strong emotions” so. Yeah. Sorry ppl were getting it mixed up with catharsis, but there’s the word they probably meant to use. Didn’t realize it would be such a crime to mix up two very similar words but what can you do with a younger audience.

This isn’t meant to be an attack, or mean, so I’m sorry if I’ve been a little passive aggressive in my wording, but to be fair. Your post was as well ^^ Cant wait to hear your response, if you feel like giving one.

Alright, so first as a quick disclaimer, I’m going to out a summary of the original post’s points, just to ensure that we’re on the same page;

The post does say:

- don’t dehumanize c!Dream because it continuously hurts people who relate to and/or sympathize with him, also dehumanization in general is an inherently wrong mindset

- don’t attack people who sympathize with him because he’s a victim of abuse besides other things

The post never says:

- you cannot hate c!Dream and not sympathizing with him is wrong

- the things c!Dream has done are to any degree excused

- don’t dehumanize c!Dream because he’s a good person

- people who dehumanize c!Dream are real life abuse apologists

If you read the post and didn’t get these points from it, i advise you to reread it as I made pretty much all of these abundantly clear.

I don’t know why you’d start talking about L’manberg, but sure; I never said it was colonization. I said some people who have had their country colonized relate to him because he had his home torn apart and is desperate to return it back to its original state. This is a completely valid reason to relate to him as it is a pretty big part of the character.

Dream wasn’t protecting his “power”, because he didn’t actually have any power on the SMP besides technically owning it. Before L’manberg, all he’d do is walk around, fix creeper holes and the prime path, jump into conflicts and end them if they got too pointed - he even fixed Tubbo’s house once after Tommy burnt it down, he got unfairly mugged by Sapnap and Tommy because he had weaker armor etc. He never used his position as landowner unfairly and was on the same level as any other member; his only concern was too keep the community united and semi-peaceful. Of course he had an attachment to the server, it had been his home for months, maybe more on the SMP timeline.

Do you genuinely think listing the bad things he did is going to do anything to my empathy or the empathy of other c!Dream fans?

I saw the entirety of the exile arc live, and I saw what was happening, and I hated it, and I hated c!Dream. Yet I’m sympathetic to him when he goes through a similar situation, perhaps because I’m not a biased hypocrite.

I never said c!Dream was a good person. Saying “these don’t look like actions of a person with trauma” doesn’t make sense to me because, as you said later on, it isn’t justifiable either way. I’m not saying anyone has to forgive him. You don’t need to forgive an abuse victim for their prior actions to recognize their situation is messed up. You’re making up points to fight against in your rebuttal that I never actually said.

I’m not saying “don’t dehumanize c!Dream because he’s a good person”. I’m saying “don’t dehumanize c!Dream because he’s a person and dehumanization is wrong” and “people who relate to him shouldn’t be hurt or harassed”.

He didn’t even do “terrible things” to his friends, by the way. Tommy has said like five times that he doesn’t care about anyone but the discs but when he said that isn’t true his friends believed and forgave him. Dream says it once while something that matters to him is being threatened, so that it doesn’t get destroyed, and suddenly he’s hurting his friends (double standard methinks). As if he didn’t repeatedly try to help them and care about them up until that point and they abandoned him even despite his prior actions. He did things that might’ve hurt them, but that doesn’t compare to the amount of things he did for them. Saying he doesn’t care is blatant mischaracterization.

If you think (fictional) people who have done bad things deserve to be horribly abused and have their basic human rights violated, you know what, you do you. Be a fictional abuse apologist, be as bad as the people who say c!Tommy deserved it, go on. I disagree with you however, and I’m sure many people who are actually sensitive and care about/relate to fictional abuse victims (I have seen many c!Tommy apologists say the torture is awful and he doesn’t deserve it, thankfully) will disagree as well, so why should I care about your wrong opinion? If you’ve dehumanized him and are failing to see you’re incorrect and hurting people, bad for you. You’re just proving me right that this is a very real problem that this community has to do something about.

#tw abuse #tw torture #abuse apologism #c!dream neg #(in ask) #discourse #my asks #crit anon