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#i hope I was able to articulate this in a respectful way
persephoneflouwers · 2 years
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can u elaborate more on ur tags about h not doing mp promo? 👀
Alright, but I just want to say this is not a statement whatsoever. I just like the elaborated process behind every possibility lol so im very open to discussion
But first, let me ask you a question and I want you to be as honest as you can. If you were a director (a normal one), would you want your movie to be strongly associated with H now? Not acting wise, but in terms of the negativity and bad attention Harry brings to your projects? It’s not even his fans, because many would support him, rightfully so. It’s more like the negativity following him from his non-fans and literally any person outside his professional bubble.
I am trying to fact check the news of the anticipation of the london premiere, but many My Policeman UAs reported the premiere in London was on October 18th. For some reasons, it turns out to be on October 15th when Harry’s show in Chicago has already been scheduled for months. It felt weird, right? The 18th news could be false, as far as I know, btw.
It’s not even the fact he’s not there, but it’s the way they keep making sure he’s seen anywhere else. It was the fan pics and the dog vid (?????) in Chicago, it was the pics from the Wolf Alice concert, it was the video for the mercury award (was that a towel on his shoulder? Was it there because he was recording it in a hurry? Was it there to cover the merch name on his sweater because he’s a walking billboard but only if his team can profit out of him? But that video was… telling to say at least - mind you, I know he’s a singer and that was for his career but it would take him literally 30 seconds to record a message - or a tweet, a wink on the story, anything! - if he couldn’t make it to London). All meant to let us know he’s simply not there for the movie. I want to go in the other direction a little, because it happened in the past before, so he doesn’t come from nowhere. How would people take this behaviour if it was related to the other movie? They would say he doesn’t care, that he doesn’t want to be involved. They would consider the director words about his fans absolutely fake and they would find shady things in posts (like David’s, bless him, he seems such a sweet and nice angel). The “every publicity is good publicity” state of mind doesn’t always apply. Sometimes, some things need a smoother approach and a movie like my policeman could benefit from it. It’s not like a “vade retro Harry Styles”. Nothing like that. I think they genuinely appreciated H there, but still my opening question stands. It is also possible this was the deal and conditions from the very beginning. Some sort of restraint to the rumours about the sexuality. Like he could do the movie as long as he wasn’t part of the promo much (share some trailers and go to the TIFF premiere and that’s it), there’s no way to know for certain.
Not to mention the way they keep giving the fandom hints of something new coming, like the you are home site first and the gill thing yesterday night. If you’re just sitting there and getting second hand information about what is happening around him, It feels like stealing the thunder a bit? Maybe? Again, this could be just the poorest timing schedule in the history of the world.
It’s sad because for him, knowing what we know and knowing what his reputation is, all this is even more alienating from the community. I don’t want to sound as a person who doesn’t have sympathy towards a closeted person or whatever, because I do. As a person who’s not out myself, I know. Really I do. And that’s why I can’t be here and watch how this punishment is constantly pushed on him. I’m not looking the other way, but there’s nothing I can do and for someone like me who has devoted her own life in helping people and swore on the Hippocrates vow, sometimes it’s too much. I’ve been silently protesting and in my little world that is working because I’m still standing for my own values. I had to take several steps back and that’s why I don’t engage with his content that much. I will jump on anyone else’s throat if they don’t love him the right way. Still. I couldn’t care less of these movies, but it’s so sad the constant favouritism they have been showing. I just can’t help wondering what the hell he signed for and who is really having his back at the moment. I call him my Persephone for a reason. At the end of the day, I hope he’s just doing fine and that the things he’s getting out of all this are worthy on the long run. Obviously people are allowed to live the fandom experience in the way they are more comfortable. So please be kind on somebody else reaction.
Also as I’m writing this, gems (interlude) by little simz started playing. It seemed very fitting. Go have a listen <3
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celtic-crossbow · 4 months
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Blood Ties Chapter 19
Series Masterlist
Warnings: strong depictions of illness; very minor suggestive situations
A/N: Super angsty with generous amounts of cuteness. Reader will eventually get to be a badass. But this chapter focuses on articulating the grave situation.
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You were pacing outside the bedroom door, wringing your hands just to keep as many parts of your body as possible moving so you wouldn’t combust. Hershel had insisted you wait outside in case it was something possibly contagious that took Daryl down. Even though you’d spent a lot of time close to him, you were showing no symptoms, so the veterinarian thought it best to be safe rather than sorry. 
You could hear Daryl coughing through the door, the sound sudden and harsh, followed by a groan each time that gave you hope that he’d possibly woke up. He’d been dead weight in your arms when everyone had burst in to help. The others had returned just in time, a heavy coat and gloves in tow for Daryl like you had requested. Rick and T-Dog had carried him up the stairs while Lori and Carol put forth effort to keep you back. You had shrugged them off and followed until Hershel stepped in. 
“Y/N, you’re gonna pace a groove into the floorboards.” Carol stood by, watching you, refusing to go about her evening duties and leave you alone. “Y/N.”
You finally paused but didn’t look at her. She didn’t get a chance to comfort you before the door opened. Hershel and Maggie stepped out, whispering between themselves in a way that made your chest tighten. 
“I’ll go get Beth and Carol to help me make a list. Carol?” The eldest Greene placed a hand on Carol’s arm, giving her enough time to assess you before she reluctantly followed. 
“Is he okay?” You asked quietly. You and Hershel were alone outside the door now, the old man’s face smooth with a calm you wished you could muster. 
“He likely had a virus that developed into pneumonia from breathing in the cold air. His lungs are full of fluid and inflamed, which accounts for the rattle when he breathes and, of course, the cough.”
“I know what pneumonia it is.” You interjected, a hint of irritation lacing your tone. “What needs to happen?”
“Ideally, we’d start an IV with fluids and antibiotics. If we can get the fluids and manage some oral antibiotics, we can make those work too. He needs those two things for certain. Fever reducers and cough suppressants would be beneficial. I will check for Tylenol in my things, though I fear I may have given you the last.” 
You crossed your arms above your belly, hugging yourself tightly, and bounced on the balls of your feet, your brain running on overdrive. “Maggie’s making a list?” Hershel nodded, hanging the stethoscope around his neck. “Okay, I’ll go see when we can leave.”
“Y/N, wait.” For an old man, he sure moved quickly, stepping into your path. You knew what he would say. He would advise you not to go, that you shouldn’t put your baby in danger. For fuck sake, you knew that. “I can’t tell you what to do. We’ve established that. And I know that Daryl means a lot to you.”
“With the utmost respect, Hershel, please get to the point.” Your tone was level though inside, you felt like yourself crumbling. The world just took and took and when you would start to feel safe, it didn’t hesitate to remind you of the devastation it could bring. 
“I’d like you to stay with Daryl.” Your rebuttal melted on your tongue when he held up a hand. “I will do everything in my power to care for him but I need to be able to care for you too. Maggie is capable. She’ll have help. Daryl needs you here.” 
“I just—”
“There will be no getting him to cooperate if he finds out you left. You know this.”
You threw back your head and let your arms fall. Of course he was right. And once again, you felt useless. “I know.”
“You know, you are doing more for that man in there than anyone in this group ever could hope to do and I’m not just speaking of the child.” He smiled at you with such kindness. It reminded you of your father, your eyes burning. “Remember that.”
You nodded and sniffed. The old man’s footsteps retreated as you leaned your forehead against the door. Daryl was coughing on the other side. Hershel would have told you if you shouldn’t go in. Most strains of pneumonia were not contagious beyond the virus or bacteria that caused them. If you hadn’t contracted the cold or flu that Daryl had before this, it was unlikely you’d be infected now. 
Turning the knob, you pushed on the door, steadily controlling how quickly it opened to keep it from making a lot of noise. Daryl was under the blankets, one arm lying across his stomach and the other at his side. His face was tilted away from you.
He wasn’t wearing a shirt but if you ventured to guess, he was likely not wearing anything. Hershel would have checked for bites. The hunter wouldn’t have kept that hidden. You knew that but maybe they didn’t. 
His chest rattled and wheezed with each breath, appearing to take a lot more effort than should be necessary. You wondered if they would search for oxygen tanks. Maggie is capable. They would. You needed to stay right there and not try to micromanage. Daryl needed you more. 
There was already an old, cushioned chair next to the bed. Perhaps Hershel used it or maybe Maggie moved it there for you. Regardless, you lowered yourself into it, remaining on the edge so you could easily reach Daryl’s hand. 
His skin was overly warm and dry, the sound accompanying each labored breath was somehow worse at that proximity. Seeing him so still reminded you of finding him injured back at the farm, how afraid you had been at the thought of losing him. That fear had experienced then resurfaced with a vengeance, squeezing your lungs so tightly that you imagined Daryl could breathe with more ease in that moment. 
“Prolly shouldn’t be in here.” 
You visibly startled, nearly sliding off the edge of the chair. “Jesus, Daryl, don’t do that.” You had to take a moment to get your heartrate under control before meeting his scarcely open eyes. It was as if whatever energy, whatever stubbornness, that had been keeping him going had just drained out of him. “How’re you feeling?”
“How ‘m I lookin’?” He wheezed. He coughed without opening his mouth until he could get his arm to obey him and cover the lower portion of his face. He inhaled his food like a human vacuum but at least he covered his mouth when he coughed. 
“Fair point.” You took his hand again and held it between yours. He didn’t pull away. 
“Just need a night an’ I can get back out there.”
You instinctively began to heat up in anger. How could he even think he was fit to be out of bed, much less hunt or take watch? How many times were you going to need to remind him that he needed to care for himself as well? After the initial desire to throttle him had passed, you leaned forward to rest your elbows on the mattress. “We’ve been over this. You can’t run yourself into the ground to take care of me, Thumper, or anyone else. You've done that. You’re really sick, Daryl. And I’m scared.”
“Ain’t gotta be scared.” His fingers wiggled weakly, slowly between your hands. You moved one away so he could squeeze the other. “Ain’t gonna be in this bed long.”
“You’ll be in this bed until Hershel says you can leave it.” You replied sternly. Despite the tears in your eyes, you firmly held his tired gaze. 
He challenged you, indignation carved into every line of weariness. When you didn’t waver, he backed down, much to your relief. “Fine.” He coughed again, coming up off the pillow from the force of it. You released his hand and stood over him, grabbing the old pillow from the other side of the bed. Luckily the dust had been beaten from the fabrics before you were in that room. You slid an arm behind his neck to help him sit up a little, placing the pillow behind him. “Could’a done it myself. Ain’t a invalid.”
“I know you can do things yourself. You’re just not seeming to comprehend that you aren't alone anymore. That someone cares for you.” Loves you. You were still standing and took notice of the bowl of water on the table with a piece of fabric hanging over the edge. Very likely Maggie was trying to bring down the fever. Licking your lips, you dipped the damp material into the cool water and wrung out the excess. With the slightest hesitation, you sat down close to his hand and began to dab the feverish skin of his face. Daryl probably didn’t even realize he sighed when his eyes fluttered closed. “Just let me take care of you for once.”
Fever-bright blue reappeared to study you. He didn’t seem upset but the hunter was known for his sudden shifts in temperament. You simply continued what you were doing, moving on to his neck. He coughed weakly, bringing his arm toward his face while you moved yours to make room. The spell was brisk, your limbs trading again but you felt his fingers brush your swollen belly. 
After another moment, Daryl grunted with a look of absolute feigned irritation. Though you knew you had won this round, you kept your expression neutral and leaned close to press a kiss to his forehead. 
“Thank you.”
His eyes were closed but you didn’t miss the twitch at one corner of his lips. His only reply was another grunt. 
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The night was nearly unbearable. You had moved to the other side of the bed and sat cross-legged at his side. His breathing was labored and loud, the coughs frequent and painful. The more he rested, the less lucid he became during moments of wakefulness. His skin burned hotter as the fever climbed, your attempts to lower it all for naught. 
Maggie and company were set to leave at first light but it wasn’t soon enough. Pleas fell from your lips each time Hershel came to check on each of you. He urged you to try and rest, even offering to bring Carol, Lori, or Beth to sit with the archer while you got some sleep. Your refusal was instantaneous. Eventually, he brought Beth with him and reasoned she could stay to watch over Daryl while you rested beside him, promising to wake you with any changes, good or bad. 
You were exhausted, that you couldn’t deny. The baby rolled and kicked, honing in on your anxiousness, Hershel said. It was with a yawn that you reluctantly agreed. The Tylenol had finally been located, and you insisted on helping get Daryl to take it before lying down. He was resistant for only a moment before complying, simply because you started to cry. Hormones and exhaustion were not a great combination. 
“You’ll wake me for anything?” You were propped on your elbows, preparing to curl up next to the furnace that was your boyfriend? Partner? Significant other? Whatever. You’d figure that part when he was better. 
“Anything at all. I promise.” Beth smiled reassuringly and patted your ankle. 
You had been made aware that anything not in use had been packed and was ready in case there was a need to flee. That would leave ample time for Daryl to be moved safely. The team of Maggie, Glenn, and T-Dog would go in search of what was needed, likely to be gone the entire day to venture further out. The local homes and businesses had already been looted. In essence, there was nothing more to be done except keep the archer comfortable and more importantly, alive. 
“Okay.” You conceded, rolling onto your side to face Daryl as he coughed, a spasm of pain on his face before he settled again. “I’m right here.” You wrapped your fingers around his and held on loosely, closing your eyes to sink quickly into sleep. 
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You heard the coughs before registering that your name was being called—no. It was being shouted. You shot straight up, hands immediately fumbling for Daryl. He was upright as well, leaning over his lap and arms braced against his chest to hold the blanket in place, cognizant enough during even such a paroxysm of hacking to hide his marred chest. With both the candle, nearly spent after what most of been a few hours rest for you, and the moonlight reflecting off the snow outside, you could see the redness on his skin, veins and tendons bulging from the force. 
“It’s okay. Daryl, it’s—where’s Hershel?” Your eyes remained on him, hand rubbing circles over his upper back. “Beth?” You looked at her then, found her staring at Daryl with an expression you couldn’t quite read. Fear? Hopelessness? The girl flinched at the sound of her name, only then seeming to hear your question. 
“He went to check if we have any tea bags.” She had lost so many, so much already. So young, still a child in that world. She was frozen, her eyes beginning to shine with moisture. 
Daryl’s fit was calming, each wet, wheezing gasp making the vice around your heart clench tighter. “Beth. Beth, look at me.” You were scared. No, you were terrified of losing Daryl. When the girl swallowed hard and finally turned her head to face you, you smiled with as much reassurance as you could scrape up around the dread stealing your own breath. Whatever you had, you would offer to Daryl. And to her. “He’ll be okay. Your dad’s gonna make sure of it.” You almost failed to hide the quiver in your voice. “Can you go see if we have any more clean scraps of cloth? I’d rather not have him spitting what he coughs up onto the floor.”
Beth nodded and spared one more lingering glance at Daryl, then she left the room. 
“Nice.” Daryl said with a desperate inhale. “Almost—believed ya myself.” He was still sitting up with his shoulders slumped, nearly folded onto his lap. You were still tenderly rubbing circles over his back. 
“You will be okay.” You whispered, laying your forehead against his shoulder blade, smiling when he didn’t react to your skin pressing against a particularly deep scar. Each breath vibrated where you rested. “Here.” You sniffed and pulled away one of the pillows. “Lay on your stomach. It opens up your lungs.”
The hunter looked over his shoulder tiredly as if considering whether or not it was worth the effort. There was a small jerk of his chin that you perceived as a nod, and then he was turning languidly to stretch out on his stomach. He coughed and buried his face in the pillow. You hadn’t noticed he was shivering before then. The blanket was twisted around his legs, making it more difficult to pull it up to the middle of his back. 
“S’miserable.” The words were muffled but decipherable. 
“I know.” You were getting to your feet, pressing your hands into the small of your back to soothe the ache there. The baby moved in what felt like a roll. “Thumper’s doing gymnastics.” Daryl turned his head toward the chair on his side of the bed just as you sat down and dipped the cloth into the bowl of cool water, his arm immediately outstretched so that the back of his hand rested on top of your bump. “Let’s see if we can help the Tylenol with that fever.”
When the cool fabric touched the back of his neck, Daryl flinched. With his body fighting to regulate his temperature, it must have been quite the shock. You left it there for a moment before moving to dab the side of his face. Swiping the cloth over his back, you realized he once again was allowing you to see his scars, this time without the tension of rigid muscles that accompanied his shame and self-loathing. Maybe he just felt too horrible to care. 
By the time Hershel lightly tapped on the door, Daryl was sleeping. The coughs were still present but with longer reprieves, the hunter so exhausted that the fits barely roused him. 
“We found some tea. I regret not mentioning to Maggie that honey could be beneficial.” One plastic cup in one hand was steaming, a torn piece of flannel wrapped around it to ensure he didn’t burn himself. The other hand held a refilled bottle of water, likely from boiling some of the snow. 
Your mind drifted to how different this winter was so different from the ones before the turn. Georgia wasn’t usually a state to receive that amount of snow and such low temperatures. Maybe the lack of human activity had altered the weather patterns. Less cars, less pollution, less deforestation. You weren’t an expert but there had to be something different. If he was real, maybe god just saw fit to throw a few more curveballs at your little group. As if the threat of being eaten alive by the dead wasn’t enough. 
Shaking your head clear, you brushed your fingertips across Daryl’s forehead. “They left?” Hershel nodded. The sun hadn’t even begun to rise yet. 
“Rick seemed to think this was urgent enough to send them out before dawn. I can’t say I’m thrilled to see my daughter driving away into the night but I am inclined to agree with his judgment.”
Daryl could die. It was urgent but for more than any practical reason Rick could suggest. It was so much deeper than that. “He’s asleep. Should I wake him up to drink it?” You placed the fabric back in the water.
“As much as I’d like him to rest, he also needs to avoid dehydration.” He raised the cup slightly. “Peppermint tea is caffeine free but we had nothing to sweeten it. We can only hope he’s thirsty enough to not care. If he’d prefer, I also brought some water.”
Sighing, you nodded and leaned forward to be in Daryl’s line of sight once he awakened. “Daryl. Wake up.” You pulled the blanket up to cover his back. Hershel had seen the scars more than once, you knew that, but you were almost certain Daryl would have appreciated the effort. 
With a groan of protest, he opened his eyes to slits. “What?”
“Hershel brought you some tea.”
“Ain’t thirsty.” He closed his eyes. 
“Bullshit.” You challenged flatly. “Come on, sit up.”
His eyes opened a little wider then, sheer stubbornness driving him to glare at you. “M’comfortable.”
“Tough titty.” 
His expression smoothed out, the corner of his mouth lifting. “Nah, s’real soft.” The hand that laid on your stomach drifted up, the back of his knuckles pressing lightly across the swell of your left breast. 
Hershel cleared his throat. Daryl’s hand moved away at a speed you didn’t think he was capable of in his current state. You snorted when the fevered flush coloring his cheeks deepened with embarrassment. 
Reaching a hand toward the veterinarian, you waited for him to cross the room and pass off the cups.
“Try to drink as much as you can, son.” 
Daryl hummed, likely feeling too awkward to trust his voice. You smiled and nodded. “Thank you, Hershel.”
“No thanks necessary. I’ll be back in a couple of hours to check in, but call down if you need anything sooner.”
“Okay.” The door clicked shut while you sat the cup of water down by the bowl and cloth. 
“Why didn’cha—tell me the old man—was in here?” Daryl croaked, making a face so close to a pout that you found it adorable. 
You chuckled. “I didn’t think you were gonna feel me up from your sick bed, sir.” He grumbled something incomprehensible but you honestly weren’t paying attention. If he wasn’t willing to sit up, you could have him raise his head just enough for you to help. “If you won’t sit up for me, could you at least lift your head and let me help you drink?”
“Y’ain’t gonna—stop houndin’—me ‘til I do, are ya?” He turned his face into the pillow and coughed, staying there until he was sure it was over. 
“Nope. You might as well just do what I ask.” You were smiling sweetly and batting your eyes when he finally moved his face back to you. 
“All women nag—this much—or s’mine just special?” Along with the relentless wiggles of your unborn baby, butterflies stirred and fluttered. Even if it was difficult to look past the fact that he struggled to draw in enough air when speaking, you felt your skin—as well as your heart—warm. 
His. 
“You’re just lucky.” You nearly sing-songed, choosing not to question his verbiage. You knew you were his. He’d been rather clear about that, even if he hadn’t exactly used words to convey it. That was enough for you. Hearing it was just a bonus. 
Daryl dragged his limbs and began to push up onto his forearms, but he abandoned the movement before his chest even lifted from the mattress. When he sighed, it was likely from resignation. He lifted and angled his head for you to adequately position the cup and pour a small amount of tea into his mouth. 
“Needs sugar.” He commented a moment or two after swallowing. Shaking your head, you offered it again.
It took a substantial amount of time to finish the tea and a few sips of water. The sun’s appearance found you sitting on the edge of the mattress, running your fingers through Daryl’s hair. He had fallen asleep before finishing the tea, waking only just enough to cooperate with your efforts. Hershel had been in once, declaring that while the archer hadn’t improved, he hadn’t worsened either. 
When he began to cough, you moved your hand from his hair to his back, rubbing soft circles in an attempt to provide any measure of comfort. Once he had settled, you used one of the flannel pieces Beth had retrieved to clean his mouth and the pillow. Hershel seemed pleased that the cough was productive. It was a disgusting reassurance but you’d take anything.
Daryl groaned and shivered, the fever relatively untouched by the Tylenol. The veterinarian had cautioned you that without the aid of antibiotics and soon, it was likely Daryl’s condition would deteriorate. Your hand stilled on this spine, the rattling of his lungs vibrating beneath your palm. Nearly overcome with an intense notion of foreboding, you turned your face toward the window, almost as if to summon back the team by sheer force of will alone. 
“Please hurry.”
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stagefoureddiediaz · 3 months
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Costume Meta 7x01
Aaaaaaannnnd we're back!!
OMG I cannot tell you how good it feels to be back writing costume meta - I have missed it so very much and this first episode has given me lots and lots to talk about so lets crack on with it shall we!
Where to start?! Firstly - Its amazing to have Alayna Bell-Price back in the driving seat and she is a genius because she knows the characters better than anyone and I have to say from my perspective there is a pretty clear difference between this episodes costumes and the ones from season 6 - not that s6's costumes were bad, just that you could see the shift of having a designer who didn't know the characters to the same level. I’m going to go in order of character appearance in a non uniform capacity for this one I think so we’re going to jump around from character to character a bit. There is no Maddie or Hen this week, as we don't see them out of uniform, but every one else is accounted for and I've included Norman and Lola as they've got a multi episode arc and their costumes are interesting and playing into a colour theme!
putting it below the cut as its a long post and I on't want to overtake everyones dashes! Enjoy!
We start off with Athena in this pale pink high neck ribbed sweater with large bell sleeves. I've spoken a fair amount about pale pink over the last couple of seasons of costume metas and how, in clothes its representative of childish and immature behaviours or thoughts. That holds true here - the pale pink is playing into Athena's childhood - when she developed her fear of cruise ships - its creating a connection between her childhood experiences and the woman sitting in Franks office.
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We get a flashback that shows her in yellow and orange - the yellow for communication and the orange for transformation. A literal moment where we see Athena transform from the innocence of youth to her developing anxiety and fear around cruise ships. Its really clever visual storytelling connecting adult with child and shows us her fear is genuine and founded in something that she may not have been able to articualte fully as a child, but she can as an adult, even if she doesn't actually articulate it to Bobby.
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Our next non uniform costume is Chimney. The lighting is really low in this scene, so it's kind of hard to be 100% sure of the colouring, but he seems to be wearing either a dark navy or black button up shirt under a dark green and black bomber jacket. The use of really dark green in combination with black, Back is a colour that can be about hiding ones vulnerabilities - concealment and masking, but it is also a colour associated with magic (generally dark magic) as well as pessimism. The green is growth and renewal, and the hope for a better future. to use them in combination i this way is playing on Chimneys insecurites and fears, his desire to keep the 'magic' alive in his relationship with Maddie, but it also speaks to his growth, that he goes home and talks to her about it (even if he does come up with an insane plan to 'date forever').
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Eddie in the locker room - aside from being shirtless for much of it and pulling some epically good faces - was a super interesting costume choice. Especially the use of his watch! first though - Denim shirt time! We don't actually see Eddie in a denim shirt all that often and we've seen him in the super washed out one far more than dark denim shirts. I've been laughing a little bit at a few people (on twitter mostly) claiming its the same shirt he was wearing at the hospital during and after Bucks coma and it being a play on bringing Buck back to life. While I like the theory, its actually a very different shirt - the one in the hospital was black with a grey wash out and was made of velveteen - so different colour and fabric.
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This shirt, is however one we have actually seen Eddie wear before and its far more telling than if it were the hospital shirt. You need to bear in mind that this scene is about Buck and Eddies respective girlfriends (or lack there of) and the fact that Christopher has a girlfriend now as well. This shirt is the same shirt Edie was wearing when he (re)introduced Ana to Chris in 4x08 (breaking point my beloved! the gift that keeps on giving!) and this puts a conversation about Marisol and things going well with her into the same category as Ana - suggesting she is ultimately destined for the same fate as Ana. the other thing that plays into this narrative is the use of the watch.
Eddie does not put the Christopher watch on until after he has found out that Buck has broken up with Natalia - so during the entire conversation about their respective girlfriends, he is only holding the Christopher watch, rather than wearing it.
In the picture below from 4x08 you can see that Eddie is wearing his black 'work' watch rather than the brown strapped 'Christopher' watch. Remember that the first time we see the Christopher watch is when he goes for his first date with Ana in Jinx, so he already has this watch and in theory should be wearing it in this scene. The fact he isn't is pretty telling and I'll go into that a bit more later when we get to Chris's (and Eddies) date scene.
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Then we have Buck in his outfit of many colours! The white trainers, continue to play into my theory of Buck wearing them when he is in key points on his journey to discover his self - her it is about showing his growth - that he ended the relationship with Natalia - this is a massive thing when we saw how long it took for him to end things with Taylor - The man who clings is growing and getting out before it drags him down!
The jacket is similar in style to many of the ones we've seen him wearing in season 5 and 6, but this one is much brighter and more colourful. I know I go on about white meaning bad things for Buck, but that isn't relevant here - the white bad things happen to Buck theory is much more about t-shirts, jumpers and shirts rather than jackets - its an under-layer rather than a top layer that = danger. So i'm not thinking of its relevance here for this scene. What I am going to say is that this (according to my spreadsheet!) is the first time we've seen Buck in a white jacket of any description. To me, it's playing into the idea of purity and rebirth which is what white is often associated with. This plays into the comment Eddie makes welcoming Buck back to 'the land of the living' but also implies that Buck is starting a new chapter and making a fresh start - the check patterning suggests it might not all be plain sailing though.
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The check pattern is an interesting one, obviously check pattern theory comes into play here, but whether its only in relation to the reveal that he split with Natalia, or if its also foreshadowing Buck getting himself into danger/trouble down the line, remains to be seen.
I'm going to quote myself again because I did predict that this scene may be about his relationship with Natalia when we got the stills dropped - the costume department never let us down!
The only thing I can do is scream into the void about check theory because check does't bode well for people - they always end up in the middle of the drama (see my check theory posts linked on my pinned post for more) and while they come out the other side (99% of the time) Buck in check for that scene in 6x18 pretty much doomed his relationship with Natalia (its specific to her and not C&K's baby as Buck wasn't wearing it when he delivered it!) and as that shirt in the still is very un Buck like, has not only yellow ochre in it, but also its a white base (and we all know buck in white is a bad sign!!) and its check patterned - my theory is that this scene is connected to Natalia in some way - either Buck is not being true to him self in more than one way - that things are going to/have come to a head for their relationship (my kingdom for a reverse of Buck to Eddie about Ana in 5x03!!!) and lead to a pretty big change in some way (fingers crossed for Buck to end it and then finally break down and deal with his trauma!!!) Some other things about that shirt - the colour combination - the green blue and yellow ochre are giving me call backs to coma Buck (another reason I think it might be connected to Bucks unresolved trauma around his death and Eddies absense in his dream)
In the quote above, I was also referring to the blue and white check pattern shirt he was wearing when he and Natalia got together, but there was also the fact that in the balcony scene at the end of 6x18, we also saw her in one of Bucks white shirts. I wrote in my 6x18 meta about how those two things combined didn't bode well for that relationship going forward, and thats what leaves me unsure about the check pattern on this white jacket being purely about something that has already happened. If I put my Buddie goggles on, I would perhaps suggest that the troubled times ahead may be more connected to Buck and Eddies relationship, and this would fit in with a couple of the things Oliver and Ryan have said. The thing with check theory though, is that generally speaking if it's on one of the mains, they come out the other side of the dram/trauma stronger than before. So if it is connected to Buck and Eddies relationship, then we can expect it to be in an even stronger position on the other side of whatever goes down (and at this point you can't strengthen their relationship any further and keep them as just friends imo!)
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Chimneys forever dating proposal to Maddie, connects with his outfit when he's talking to Hen - it's the same jeans and black shirt, so the meanings of black, can be continued on into this scene - the idea of magic and hiding his vulnerabilities. The addition of the jacket with this brickwork pattern in its weave is a fun choice, it's playing into the idea of building something, but also plays into the idea that Chimney has his walls up - again fitting in with the black meaning of hiding his vulnerabilities - because instead of expressing his fears to Maddie ad then them talking it thorough, he comes up with his insane forever dating concept. the fact that much of this scene is a contrasting parallel with the scene from season 1 when he is pretending to be someone else entirely for Tatiana all ties in perfectly with this costume. The fact that he reverts to wearing blue (ran out of picture spaces so I couldn't include one) later on - when he's realised his plan isn't realistic, talks to Maddie and they end up back on the same page is really good to see - the blue being a signature Chimney colour and is indicative of him being true to himself.
Bobbys blue suit and blue check patterned shirt. The brightness of the blue is a really important choice - it's the only time we see him this brightly coloured on the cruise until he ends up in the bright red at the end. This is important because this is the moment when he's still all excited and hopeful for his honeymoon cruise - everything is good in Bobby's world at this moment in time - the check pattern is telling us that it's not going to stay that way for long. From her on out we see the colours of Bobby's costumes slowly beginning to dull and take on a washed out tone, but here in this moment all is good.
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Athena's bright yellow dress is all about making her stand out - communicating with the audience, she is the brightest person in the room (in more ways than one!!). The thing with yellow, apart from the communication aspect, is that it can also be a symbol of anxiety and fear, so this dress plays rather nicely into the theme of Athenas fear of being on that ship.
The colour does have other good traits too - its fresh and bright and is a colour of happiness in its more jewel like tones and I think we can see all of these meanings in these scenes - Athena might be anxious about being on the ship, but she is also happy and enjoying herself with Bobby in that moment.
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Lola and Norman. Lola is the one we need to focus on in her very bright very check patterned Victoria Beckham dress. Obviously the check pattern plays into check pattern theory, but the red also acts like a neon sign to the audience - highlighting that Lola is in danger - the ga won't pick up on check theory, although they might connect the dots about the fact this check patterning looks very like a cage - foreshadowing her being held captive later on, but also as a nod to the fact she was incarcerated previously.
The red is also a nod towards romance and love - playing into the rekindling of their relationship and romance in the aftermath of the freeway 'see me Norman' incident.
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Ok so Christophers date night and by extension Eddies date night! This is where this meta is goingto get a bit messy and I'm goingto jump around a bit becasue I need to talk about the way colour theory is at play in all the scenes in Christophers bedroom, so we're going to talk about Christophers bedroom as one big thing rather than the two separate scenes that it actually is. They are extensions of one another and build on so much of the groundwork we've already seen in previous seasons.
Chris in plaid check yellow and red check plays perfectly into check pattern theory - it’s a signifier that something is about to go down with him - namely that the fact he’s dating multiple girls at the same time. 
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He’s also wearing a white shirt which is not a colour we see on him all that often - in fact, the only times we’ve seen him in a completely white shirt is with his suit in 5x01 when suit shopping and again in 6x08 for his school dance. He did wear a white vest when dressed as wolverine for halloween  So as you can see its not a common colour for him, but the times have seen him wear it as a solid colour have been connected to school/girls and dating (i’m including the suit shopping in this because Ana was there and it was kind of a Eddie and Ana date of sorts - in that it was suppose to be for this Christening - meet the family - date type thing).
The most interesting thing is the plaid hooded shirt though. It was such an interesting choice to go with for a couple of reasons. the colour way is especially loud - we tend to see Chris wearing greens and blues and greys, with the odd other colour thrown in occasionally. So red and yellow are not common colours for him to be wearing.
On the red front we see him in it a couple of times - the adapted skateboarding scene and the scene in 4x10 when he joins Eddie and Ana on the sofa - getting in the way of their date night. We do also see him wear red in Christmas related episodes (so I don’t tend to count them in the same way as the Christmas colour theming will nearly always override any other colour theming intention - the use of stripes or check or other patterning is more important in those episodes!). 
On the yellow front things are even more clear cut - the Tsunami arc, the aftermath of him falling off the skateboard, Mays graduation party and 5x03’s Eddie Ana break up! These (apart from the tsunami shirt) were all bright almost neon yellow.
This new plaid shirt is more into the yellow ochre part of the yellow spectrum, therefore tying much more to the tsunami arc, which is actually really fitting if you think about it in a little more detail - its a connection, not only to Buck, but also to loss and grief. Eddie might have been using his secret weapon (Chris) to get Buck out of his moping (read mourning) over not being able to go back to work, but Christopher is also still grieving the loss of his mother at that point as well, so its not just about cheering Buck up, its also about giving Chris a chance to do something fun and distract him from his own grief. That is why the use of yellow then ties in so nicely with its use on Chris now.
The other thing that really grabbed my attention about this shirt though is the fact that the two times we’ve seen Buck have a conversation with Chris in his bedroom, he has sat in the same spot and has been wearing one of those two colours - post shooting in maroon and this episode in the yellow ochre - if you watch those two scenes side by side, you see that they’ve used almost identical camera angles as well to film Buck.
I've spoken a lot about the use of maroon as a colour connected to parenthood - especially fatherhood , which is how its intended to be read on Buck - connecting to Eddie and his being shot, pushing Buck into a parental role in Eddies absence.
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That alone is a pretty loud reference to Christophers connection and relationship to Buck, but then we have the yellow ochre of it all.
I feel a little bit insane about how close my prediction was on what the Buck Christopher scene was going to be about - this is from the meta I wrote when t he stills dropped;
Whatever this scene transpires being about, based on what we've seen with Buck wearing yellow ochre, we can assume its going to continue to play into this idea of Buck not being fully truthful with people and fitting into the role he thinks people want him to pay rather than being true to himself. I do want to add to this theory by looking at Christophers shirt as well. The grey/ yellow combination is a bit reminiscent of Breaking point (the episode that really is the gift that keeps on giving) because we get Chris in grey and Eddie in tan - that is yellowish toned whilst not actually being yellow There isn't a good screenshot of them together, but the placing of Chris and Buck in the new one has echoes of Eddie and Chris in that scene (one that is interestingly enough playing into the idea of changing family dynamics, but also the moment before and the one that happens afterwards at Bucks loft, directly placing Buck into a parental role (as an aside the idea of Buck being a miracle worker plays into the theme of Eddie looking for magic, just saying!))
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Indirectly this scene was about Buck not being true to himself with people and fitting into whatever role he thinks people want him to fit into, only this wasn't an active situation - this was a scene where Buck could draw on his experience of having done that in the past to help Christopher - the line from Eddie 'you didn't end up being like you' is such a call to this and actually shows how valuable Bucks own experiences and learnings are in helping Chris (we've all been joking about Eddie choosing Buck to help him with this Chris's issue, but in actual fact he was the perfect person for the job - not just because of his being a 'reformed player', but also because of his relationship with death and the death of a loved one where you are reliant on others for their memories of a person rather than having your own)
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The thing with the Yellow ochre (this meta here that i've already quoted from above is the place to go if you'd like more detail on its use on Buck more widely) isn't just its about it's connection to Buck, his place in Christopher's life and more loosely to the will of it all, (the fact that Buck and Eddie are both wearing the same colour ways as in the hospital bed will reveal scene and are both on the same sides of the screen in both scenes is a stroke of genius and is meant to connect these two scenes together) its also its connection to Shannon.
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The first time we meet Shannon, she sits on Christophers bed in more or less the same position as we see Buck and Eddie sit, and looks at where Christopher has been positioned in all these conversations, and she is wearing a burnt orange top thats pretty close to the dark yellow ochre we see Buck wearing. Shannon wears a lot of yellow - as in it there are only a couple of times we don't see her wearing something yellow or with yellow in it and those are key scenes (which I will talk about later on).
Shannons appearance in Christophers room to read the letter she wrote him had her in this black top with a floral patterning on it. She was also wearing green trousers (which can be seen in the still below but aren't actually seen during the scene.
I actually really loved the green trousers and black top as a choice because the top is very Shannon - it sits perfectly with the floral patterns we saw her wearing when she was still alive. The green trousers are a bit of a departure for her, but I think its very intentional for two reasons .
The first is that they are very much in the Eddie trousers wheelhouse, especially in combination with black - he wears green khaki trousers a lot. The inference being that the black and green combination is an echo of Eddie.
The second ties to Christopher. Green is also a colour we've seen on Christopher a lot, it's probably the colour we see him in most. It's being used as a reflection of the fact he is growing and transitioning from child to teenager. But having it here in this scene - on Shannon connects a Christopher growing up without his mom.
Both of these combined really connect into Shannon in this scene, tying the three of them together and on Eddies efforts to keep her alive for Christopher - the underlying implication that his growth into who he is so far is as much to do with Shannon as it is to do with Eddie.
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Her necklaces were not identical to the ones we saw her in in season 2, but that's most likely because they don't have them any longer, so they've replicated them as best as they can. The other little nod that I enjoyed is the brown bracelets on her right wrist - the same place Eddie wears his brown strapped Christopher watch!
But the top they have her in plays into a couple of other things - the prominent yellow flowers make an obvious connection to Buck from the previous scene, but they also tie into the 'I want a divorce' scene from 2x17 where she is wearing a dark blue dress with bright yellow ochre flowers all over it. the dress is not especially close to the top in the wider sense - blue dress with white squares v black top with florals in a variety of colours, but the yellow flowers are the prominent aspect of both items of clothing and play into the yellow theme connected to Shannon and then to Buck.
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This is espeically relevant when you remember that Eddie is in a black suit in that scene and he's wearing black when he gives the letter to Christopher.
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The black for this sequence of scenes is such a poignant choice - its Eddie mourning all over again, not for his loss, but for Christophers loss. I did find it telling that again in this scene, we have the absence of the Christopher watch. Eddie has very rarely not been wearing a watch in his scenes, so the times when we don't see him wearing one are very telling.
For me, in this sequence of scenes, it's about the fact that they are not about Eddies relationship with Christopher, but about Shannons relationship with Christopher. The watch is much more about Eddie and Christopher, so to have it absent from this story arc makes total sense and is symbolic of Eddie being a good father
Then we have Christophers grey shirt - I said when we first got the stills from that scene, how it was likely to be connected to complex family relationships - a la when we’ve seen Buck wearing his grey shirt. And what do you know - the scene was about complex family dynamics/ relationships.
It wasn’t perhaps in the manner I was expecting, but that series of scenes played with the full scope of Chris’s complex family relationships - from the relationship he has with Buck -not only as Christophers friend, but also as more or less Eddies co-parent (the way Eddie asked for Bucks help screamed co-parent rather than friend imo - that whole burnt out car scene was two co-parents discussing their child!) to the relationship he has with his dad - which is a pretty great relationship, but it is a complex one.
The relationship he has with his mom - or the fact he feels he doesn’t have a relationship with her despite Eddies best efforts, because as he grows up she feels further and further away. 
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Eddies 'date' night with Marisol. Again I ran out of pictures (30 is not enough!) so you're going to have to use your imagination or go back and rewatch the scene for yourselves, but trust me when I say that Eddie is wearing the same shirt he was wearing for this date night as he was in 4x10 - when Christopher interrupts because he can't sleep!
It's also a similar tee to the one Eddie wears when he has his breakdown and trashes his room (that one was more green when this one is much browner). Its slouchy and has cut and stretched raw edges at the sleeves and on the pocket - in the same way his breakdown shirt did. there is an element of being in familiar surroundings and being comfortable at home, but stretched out raw edges and Eddie generally tend to mean not so great things.
Of course there is the element of his parenting skills being tested by Christophers having more than one girlfriend, but if that where the only reason, then it would've made more sense to have him in that shirt when he's listening in to Chris talking to Buck, rather than when he's on a date with a new girlfriend.
This is especially true as the screen time for that tee has more connection with Marisol than it does with Chris. Combined with the fact that once again, like in the locker room scene, he is not wearing his Christopher watch in this scene and that speaks volumes.
If we are to read the scene as being about Christopher soley, he should be wearing his watch because that watch is a physical embodiment of the importance of Christopher in Eddies life - that he puts Christopher first in all things.
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Got to say I was a bit shocked to see Marisol in his bright magenta silk spaghetti strap top when you consider the costumes we saw her in last season - mostly dressed down, t-shirts, jumpers and dungarees so this is a complete 180 for her character.
There are a few interesting things connected to her outfit, firstly it low key ties into Natalia - we saw Natalia in a red version of this top for her first proper onscreen date with Buck (when they go to the badge and ladder joint) so there is an interesting low key parallel to draw there. There is also the fact that her bracelet is a chain one - much like we've seen on all of Buck and Eddies previous girlfriends - although those have been necklaces, so I'm undecided if this chain bracelet is paying into the same trope as those.
Then there is the pink of it all.
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You see Eddie and Pink on his girlfriends doesn't bode well for Marisol.
Both Shannon and Ana wore pink. Ana wore it a lot - there are two examples below, but generally speaking its her most commonly worn colour - including on her first date with Eddie in Jinx.
The first example below is from the first time we see her in the Diaz house. the shades are different, but the fact that the first time we see both characters in the Diaz house they're both wearing pink, speaks volumes.
The other key use of Pink is when Shannon is at the beach with Eddie and Christopher and she tells Eddie she's pregnant - Eddie takes it as the sign he has been looking for - the chance to effectively start over with their marriage, but this is the beginning of the end for their relationship, even if she hadn't died a short while later. She is wearing pale pink in that scene and it's the only time we see her wear the colour in the show.
The fact we can also contrast the use of pink with when Buck wears it is telling in its own right - we see the relationship between Buck and Eddie strengthening when Buck wears pink - May's graduation party, the tsunami, the Hildy coffee machine - all moments (big and small) that show the development of various aspects of their relationship and its ability to endure.
Essentially all this use of pink on the women he has had previous relationships with, doesn't bode well for Marisol and the longevity of her relationship with Eddie. How quickly it will end I can't say, just that it will end.
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I spoke earlier in this post about colour theming for the episode and this is where I talk about it!
Pink - and in particular the very bright pinks we saw scattered across the episode. Marisol above wearing it, isn't just about connecting her to Ana in costume terms (especially as at this point that costume is a departure of her costumes from s6) it also connects her to the other characters we see wearing bright pink in this episode - Lola and Norman.
At this point in time I'm not sure if we're going to see it play out as a theme across the season, but its use in this episode was very loud on characters that are going to be around for more than 1 episode. It suggests that there is some underlying theme that connects them (by this I don't mean that they're gonna meet and hang out I mean that personality traits are going to be similar)
Magenta and bright pink in colour theory means a few different things, and like with all colours, has positive and negative traits. Generally speaking its a loud and brash colour thats designed to stand out and draw attention to it's wearer.
Things that are considered positive traits for this shade of pink are; intensity, acceptance, kindness and it's supportive and uplifting nature. It's connected to naive love (as in lust rather than the passionate and enduring love of red) can also be considered a nurturing colour.
Negative traits are; intensity, volatility, arrogant and impatient, irritability and irritating and frustration. it is also said to be a stress inducing colour and is said to be overly emotional.
Theres a clear and fairly loud connection between Lola and Norman getting into danger - Lola is in magenta trousers when she is kidnaped. Norman also has bright magenta flowers on his shirt at this point as well. My guess at this point is that we're supposed to lean into the stress inducing element, and also the irritating nature of the colour (On Athenas part at the very least!) and we'll see if those are the themes that play out for Marisol as well down the line.
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Norman is in bright pink when he's lying and claiming she's unwell from being outside or too long. We also see that he is wearing pink in the ditsy print shirt later on (again I ran out of picture spaces!)
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Athena's black top in this scene is much like the use of Chimney in black in his scenes. It's all about power and authority but it's also about her hiding her vulnerabilities. The other thing it does is creates a huge contrast with Bobby and all of the other passengers - she is the only one in black in the scene and it contrasts her with the underlying white of Bobbys shirt - juxtaposing them and visually putting them at odd with one another.
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Like I said above about him becoming increasingly pale - here we see Bobby in a sea-foam green shirt - its the palest and washed out colour we've seen him in on this cruise (grey pyjama shirt not being included as its blink and you miss it and a pyjama tee!!!). Sea-foam green doesn't really play into the traditional meanings of green - there is still the element of renewal about it (the sea washes the sand etc)but its mostly a self-conscious and uncertain colour - both things that perfectly sum up how Bobby is feeling in this moment.
The other fun thing about this outfit is the palm tree shorts the patterns Bobby has worn in relation to this cruise, up to this point (and that includes the shirts from season 6) have all been tropical themed but on his shirts, the fact that they've now slipped down onto his shorts is a visual representation of him becoming increasingly dissatisfied with the way his honeymoon is going - that the tropical vacation vibes are slipping away.
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Athenas red and white shirt, in my opinion is showing her cross purposes - its the duality of investigating and being on a cruise in a shirt. The bright red ties into the red and blue first responder colour way the show uses (for obvious reasons) while the white and the palm fronds, the lei flowers and the watery theming of the pattern fit into the troipical cruise they're on.
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Bobbys red shirt contrasts with the lavender that we see on Athena - its not a colour we see on Bobby all that often and that makes its use all the more important. Especially considering the entire cruise thus far we've seen him in blues and greens - especially pale closer to pastel tones.
This red is bright snd bold and unlike his usual choices. Red is a colour of cross meaning - there is obviously the connection with love and the heart, which is absolutely at play her - his love for Athena is spurring him on and is part of what is pushing him in to investigator Bobby mode - and its representation of love is what is going to be the key player in the up coming episodes on the ship - when he is looking for Athena during the evacuation etc. But the other meaning of red is war, courage and anger and that is very much present here in this episode, and will (i'm assuming) be later on in 7x02 and 3.
The other thing I think its worth pointing out at this point (which is pure conjecture on my part at this moment in time but that I think will become relevant in the next two episodes rather than this one) is the foreshadowed parallel with Buck in season 5 when he broke down Eddies door. The bright red we saw him wearing then was an uncommon colour for him, in the same way it is for Bobby here. It's paralleling the way Buck was prepared to go into battle for Eddie, with the way Bobby is prepared to do so for Athena - going to war for your closest person, your loved one and doing what you need to do to save them.
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Putting Athena in lavender the moment she gets to go into cop mode was a choice that had me giggling! Lavender is a colour of relaxation and order so for her to start wearing it the moment she gets to start being a cop again - speaks volumes for her state of being - it shows that her fear of being on the cruise ship and of being alone with bobby, has been overridden by her need to do her job and start investigating things. Its the perfect colour for this moment and for the impeding trouble brewing on the ship - Athena will bring order to things as order has been restored to her inner world.
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Hopefully you've enjoyed this little canter through the costumes of 7x01 we're back in business and I can't wait to read your comments in the tags and comments 🥰
Tagging for those who've asked to be tagged - drop me a comment on this post if you'd like to be added to the list for the next meta 😎
@theladyyavilee @mistmarauder @xxfiction-is-my-realityxx @mandzuking17 @spotsandsocks @loveyou2thecore @wanderingwomanwondering @oneawkwardcookie @leothil @copyninjabuckley @nathleigh @shammers86 @crazyfangirlallert @missmagooglie @inandoutoffocus @katyobsesses @radiation-run @gayandbifiremenofmine @lemotmo @bi-moonlight @satvojihusana @crazyaboutotps @princesschez75 @mongreloer @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove @sherlocking-out-loud
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wholoveseggs · 1 month
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I am begging you can you please make a Damon and Elijah fic? I didn't know this ship even existed but I'm so fuckin invested in it. You can make up the story line and everything, the only thing I ask is that Elijah is the dominant one and that Elena doesn't support their relationship but they simply don't care what she thinks anymore?
Thank you thank you thank you🫶🫶🫶
Respect
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18+ ---- {Masterlist} {Tag-List}
Elijah puts Damon in his place, and demands he show him a little more than respect.
♡♡ Thanks for the request anon! I was giggling like crazy writing this (its my fav Elijah ship) Unfortunately I didn't include Elena, but we all know she would be jealous as fuck... (of who? well... that's up to you...) ♡♡
2.9k words - Warnings: smut, this is just a alternate version of the iconic pencil scene, Elijah in his middle part menace era, dom!elijah, sub!damon, blowjobs, face-fucking, Damon being an Elijah simp...
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At first, Damon just saw Elijah as the enemy, simple, straightforward, an asshole that just had to go.
He was a threat and Damon was an expert on handling threats, especially when it came to the safety of those he cared about. He wasn't afraid to throw punches, not afraid to pull out the stops and go all out.
But then things changed.
Things changed and he realized that maybe he and Elijah had more in common than he thought, the man was cunning and calculating, he could be dangerous when he needed to be, and Damon would be lying if he said that it didn't scare the hell out of him.
Elijah was a mystery that he wanted to solve, he wanted to figure out just how deep his intelligence went, how far his knowledge spanned. He was curious about him, he wanted to learn every little detail and find out what made him tick.
Damon knew what he was to woman, he would wield his good looks like a weapon, his charm was another weapon, his wit was one too.
But now he truly understood what it was like to be on the receiving end of such charisma, it was addicting, and he was hooked.
Elijah's power and dominance was something that drew him in and held him there. He wanted nothing more than to submit to him, to surrender and let him do as he pleased. It was a foreign feeling, one he wasn't exactly comfortable with… but he couldn't resist him.
The way Elijah was able to command his attention and keep it was intoxicating, his presence alone demanded respect, but when he opened his mouth, the words that came out were pure elegance, and Damon found himself captivated by his smooth tone, his articulation was flawless.
He was a true gentleman.
He was everything Damon was not.
So what did Damon do? He took all these new and uncomfortable feelings and did what he always did. Antagonize.
He would try his best to push Elijah's buttons, hoping for a reaction, an emotion, anything to give him a clue on what was going through his mind. But to his dismay, the man would not budge, and it just left Damon wanting more.
He knew he needed to get his attention, and Damon still was determined to protect Elena at all costs, so he decided to take it further, the more dangerous the stunt, the better.
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Damon sauntered into the Lockwood mansion, his signature smirk firmly in place. Today was a simple fact finding mission. All he wanted to do was suss out Elijah's weaknesses, find out if he could be manipulated, maybe find a way to control him.
That's all. He told himself, making his way deeper into the house, looking for the original.
It wasn't long until he spotted the older vampire, who was chatting away with Carol. He watched him, noticing how his body language screamed regal and refined.
Damon didn't want to admit it, but he was nervous, this was the first time they were officially meeting. The last time Elijah ripped out the hearts of two vampires right in front of him and the time before that Damon drove a coat hanger through Elijah's heart. Not the best first impression.
He could feel his heart beat quicken, and he knew he needed to calm down, otherwise the vampire would notice. So he took a deep breath and plastered his smirk back on, striding confidently toward the pair.
"Damon," Carol gave him a welcoming smile, happy to see him. "What a surprise," she greeted, reaching forward and shaking his hand.
"Carol," he returned, nodding at her.
"Elijah, I want you to meet Damon Salvatore. His family is one of Mystic Falls' founding families." Carol introduced.
"Mmm," Damon looked at Elijah, whose expression was impassive, his eyes scanning him briefly. "Such a pleasure to meet you."
"No. Pleasure's mine," Elijah replied, taking Damon's hand and squeezing tightly, just a tad bit too tight, causing the younger vampire to wince slightly.
"Excuse me," Carol interjected. "I should probably attend to my other guests," she smiled, giving them both a nod before leaving the pair alone.
Damon could feel Elijah's eyes almost burning holes into him, the older vampire seemed to be sizing him up, as if trying to decide whether or not he was worth his time.
"So," Damon drawled, his smirk still present, he motioned towards a private study off to the side, the door slightly ajar. "Shall we?" he suggested, his tone dripping with honey.
Elijah followed behind him, watching as he made his way inside. This young vampire was going to be quite the handful, but that was okay. He had dealt with others far worse.
Once they were both in the room, Elijah closed the door, grazing his fingertips along the leather sofa, not even bothering to look Damons way.
"What can I do for you, Damon?" he inquired, his voice low, but smooth and controlled.
"I was hoping we could have a word," Damon replied, his tone slightly less confident than before, the way Elijah spoke and held himself was unnerving.
"Where's Elena?" Elijah questioned, a hint of suspicion in his voice.
Damon didn't like the way Elijah asked after her, like he had some sort of claim over her, and he didn't like the way he said her name either.
"Safe with Stefan. They're laying low, you know, bit of a werewolf problem," Damon explained, his tone nonchalant.
"Oh, yeah, I heard about that," Elijah responded, finally looking at Damon, his expression stoic, almost unreadable.
"I'm sure you did since it was your witch that saved the day." Damon couldn't hide the bite in his tone, he didn't like the way Elijah seemed all knowing, as if he was privy to everything that went on in Mystic Falls.
Elijah finally looked at him, and it sent a shiver down his spine. His eyes were cold and calculating, and it made him uneasy and a little aroused.
"You are welcome," he replied with a smug grin, his eyes sparkling with amusement.
Damon leaned against the nearby desk, trying his best to stay casual. "Which adds to my confusion on exactly why you're here?" he questioned, hoping his voice didn't betray the nerves he was currently feeling.
Elijah was bored by this conversation, the infamous Salvatore was not worth his time. "Why don't you just stay focused on keeping Elena safe and leave the rest to me." He replied, looking away from Damon and smiling softly, he then turned and headed for the door.
But Damon wasn't going to let him get away so easily, he was determined to get his attention, so he sped to the door, blocking Elijah's way.
"Not good enough," Damon stated, his voice firm.
The look on Elijah's face could of melted steel, it was cold, his eyes were hard and his jaw clenched tightly.
Before Damon could blink, Elijah's hand was around his throat, lifting him off the ground and slamming him into the wall, his grip was like a vice. Damon couldn't breathe, he struggled against the original, clawing at his hand, gasping for air.
He grabbed Elijah's throat, trying to choke him in return, but it was no use. He was strong, and the fact that the older vampire could effortlessly hold him there, only turned him on even more.
Elijah peeled Damon's hand off his throat, crushing the bones in his fingers, and causing the younger vampire to cry out in pain. Damon was shocked at how strong Elijah really was, how easily he was able to handle him.
"You young vampires, so arrogant." He growled, pushing Damon's hand away with ease. "How dare you come in here and challenge me?'' His voice was full of venom, his tone menacing.
"You can't kill me, man. It's not part of the deal." Damon managed to wheeze out, his words slightly slurred from the lack of oxygen.
Elijah was amused by his statement, his face contorting into a gentle smile, his eyes dancing with mirth. "Silence," he whispered, his tone dangerously low.
Damon's mouth snapped shut, and his heart was pounding in his chest. He was in a compromising position, and he wasn't sure if it was the adrenaline, or the fact that he was literally at the mercy of an Original, but his body was buzzing with anticipation.
Elijah could hear Damon's heartbeat racing, the blood pumping through his veins. He knew what the young vampire was feeling, the fear, the arousal.
Elijah grabbed a pencil and jammed it into Damon's neck. He needed to teach this vampire a lesson. He was a mere child compared to him, and it was time he learned his place.
Damon cried out in agony, the pencil lodged deep in his neck. He was utterly helpless, and Elijah could tell.
He dropped Damon, letting him pull the pencil out of his neck and stumble forwards, he clutched at his throat, groaning in pain.
Elijah smiled slightly, pulling out a handkerchief and wiping the blood off his hands, "I'm an Original. Show a little respect," he ordered.
Damon could feel his pants getting tighter, the bulge in his jeans growing with every passing second. Elijah's dominance was a major turn on, and he couldn't stop the arousal coursing through his body.
Elijah handed him the handkerchief, their fingers brushing, causing Damon to shiver. He took the cloth, wiping away the excess blood.
Damon wanted to be angry, he should be furious, but instead he was excited. His blood was pumping, his adrenaline was high, and he couldn't hide the fact that Elijah made him feel things he never thought possible.
When their eyes met, Elijah knew that he was in for a fun time. He could see the desire swimming in those bright blue eyes. He smirked and stepped closer, invading his personal space, causing the younger vampire to swallow nervously.
"On your knees," Elijah commanded, his tone deep and seductive.
Damon felt a jolt of pleasure go straight to his dick, his mind was screaming for him to leave, but his body was already sinking down to the floor.
Once on his knees, he looked up at Elijah, his heart hammering in his chest, his breath coming out in shallow pants.
"You know what to do." Elijah encouraged, his eyes full of lust.
Damon hesitated, his hands trembling slightly as he reached up and began undoing the belt and button on Elijah's dress pants. He was a bit nervous, not because he had never been with a man before, he had, plenty of times, but this was an original, and he wasn't exactly sure how far he was willing to go.
"Do you require a written invitation?" Elijah questioned with a teasing grin.
Damon frowned and swallowed thickly, pulling the zipper down slowly, and carefully removing Elijah's cock from his pants. It was so hard, so thick, and Damon couldn't deny that he was intimidated by its size.
Elijah grunted slightly, looking down at Damon with hooded eyes, his gaze filled with dark lust. He didn't usually have his enemies submit in this way, only when he was in a charitable mood, but Damon was an exception.
Elijah ran his fingers through Damon's dark hair, tugging gently at the strands, causing the younger vampire to wince, it wasn't rough enough to hurt, but it was enough to pull a reaction.
Damon leaned in closer, his hot breath ghosting across the sensitive skin. Elijah smelled like pine and leather and a hint of cologne, he was pure man, and it made his head spin.
So Damon, using all his experience from previous encounters, ran his tongue over the tip, earning a small groan of approval.
Encouraged by Elijah's moan, he started to slide his mouth along his shaft. Giving him gentle licks and wet kisses, tasting the bitter flavor of the pre cum seeping out.
The pace was slow at first, Damon running his tongue down to the base and back up to the tip, swirling his tongue around the head of the shaft, eliciting more beautiful sounds from Elijah.
Elijah dug his fingernails into Damon's scalp, gripping his head, and guiding him down further, moaning softly as he hit the back of his throat.
Damon gagged a little, causing Elijah to chuckle. "Hmph, there we go," he grunted, looking down at Damon's face and meeting his heated gaze.
He then forced his cock deep into his mouth, holding his head in place and listening to him gag, spit dripping out and down his chin.
"Ah...good boy, that's better," Elijah cooed, easing his grip slightly and allowing Damon to adjust. "Just like that." He praised.
Damon closed his eyes and relaxed his throat, letting Elijah use him the way he wanted, the way he desired.
As soon as the noises stopped, Elijah removed his dick, giving Damon the opportunity to breathe. Damon gasped for air, coughing, his throat was raw, he hadn't let someone treat him in this way for decades, he was completely and totally dominated.
But it was so hot, so arousing, and he loved every minute of it. His own erection pressing painfully against the seam of his pants, he wanted more.
He swallowed heavily, looking up at Elijah who was stroking himself, enjoying the sight before him.
"Mmm, very good, such a pretty face, a perfect mouth for my cock," Elijah growled. "Now suck," he ordered.
Damon surged forward, his mouth wrapping around his shaft once more, but this time he pushed himself all the way to the base, swallowing around him, letting him feel the tight squeeze of his throat.
Elijah thrust his hips, and Damon could tell he was close to the edge, he wanted to taste his cum, wanted to feel the power and authority of him.
"Fuck, yes," Elijah muttered, holding Damon's head and slamming his hips into his mouth. "Just a little bit more," he groaned, his words broken by ragged moans.
Damon's jaw was aching, his entire body was shaking, and he could barely breathe, but the pressure building between his legs made the pain all worth it.
Elijah grunted, slamming his hips forward one final time, spilling his load down Damon's throat. The vampire eagerly swallowed down the warm thick fluid, breathing deeply, and trying to regain his composure.
When the spasms subsided, he pulled out, and Damon collapsed, his body trembling, his cock painfully hard, his breath coming out in sharp gasps.
Elijah smiled down at him, his cock glistening with the young vampires spit. He tucked himself away, straightening his suit and clearing his throat.
"Now, get cleaned up," he commanded, tossing his handkerchief at him.
Damon scrambled to wipe himself off, he didn't even have the decency to ask if Damon needed help getting off. The thought didn't even cross his mind.
Elijah fixed his hair in the mirror, making sure his appearance was perfect, that his part was just right. When he was satisfied with his look, he gave Damon one last glance and left the room without a word.
Damon sat there, stunned and aching. He had never experienced anything like that before, and it left him wanting more. He couldn't believe what had just happened, how easily Elijah had put him in his place, how willingly he had submitted.
He was a vampire, a strong, powerful vampire, and yet he was completely at the mercy of another. And that scared and thrilled him.
He shook his head and stood up, his legs shaking. He quickly composed himself, adjusting his clothes, wiping away the stray tear.
He wondered what Elena would think, or Stefan or even Alaric. Would they understand? He didn't even understand it himself.
He sighed and walked out of the study, heading towards the bar. He needed a drink. A stiff one.
Elijah was leaning against the bar, a glass of scotch in his hand, his expression unreadable. Damon could feel the tension between them, but he ignored it, instead focusing on pouring himself a glass.
"Enjoyed yourself?" Elijah inquired, his voice laced with amusement.
For once Damon was at a loss for words, his mouth opening and closing, no sound coming out. He didn't know how to respond.
"The moment you cease to be of use to me, you're dead, so you should do what I say. Keep Elena safe." Elijah continued, a hint of a smirk playing at his lips.
Damon somehow found his voice again and his snarky side made an appearance. "Well, thank you for being so gracious," he quipped, his voice dripping with sarcasm.
Elijah chuckled, shaking his head, he took a sip of his drink, savoring the taste.
"I like this town, there are so many interesting people," he commented, his eyes locking with Damon's, a smirk playing on his lips.
"Interesting?" Damon repeated, arching his brow.
"Indeed," Elijah replied, his gaze lingering on the younger vampire for a moment longer before he stood and set his glass on the counter.
He leaned in close, his breath hot against Damon's ear, his lips brushing against the sensitive skin, "it was nice meeting you Damon Salvatore, I'm sure our paths will cross again,"
Damon watched him walk away, his heart racing, his mouth dry. He wasn't sure what had just happened, but he knew one thing, he wanted more.
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writing-for-marvel · 1 year
Text
Dear January
Bucky Barnes x Enhanced!Avenger!Fem!Reader
Summary: While everyone else is celebrating the new year, all Bucky can think about is his resolution and you, though the two are inextricably linked.
Warnings: a little angst with discussions of Bucky’s past & references to him having PTSD, reader has empathy related powers, fluffy ending
Word count: 1.9k
A/N: banners by @vase-of-lilies, dividers by @newlips. Happy New Year everyone!! I hope 2023 is the year all your wishes and dreams come true 💜💜
Masterlist | Ask me anything! | Library
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Dear January, please let the new year be kind to me.
It was nearing midnight when Bucky strayed from the festivities, sneaking away from Steve’s overprotective, hovering presence while he was distracted with one of the new recruits Natasha was attempting to set him up with.
A crowded room with loud music and dancing couples might have been his scene in the 40’s, but was far from the solitary life he enjoyed in the 21st century. Steve had insisted that the party would be a good opportunity to get to know everyone outside of a work environment, and also confirmed you would be in attendance.
If Bucky were honest, that was the only reason he had chosen to come.
This was Steve’s world and Bucky was simply a visitor - if you could call someone who had been living in Stark tower with the rest of the Avengers for more than 6 months a ‘visitor’. But this was Steve’s home, Steve’s friends, Steve’s team, and as happy as Bucky was to see his best friend adapt to these modern times and surround himself with a community of people who trusted and respected him, Bucky still felt like an outsider.
No one trusted or respected him.
Well, with the exception of Steve himself, and perhaps you, the other newest member of the team. But Bucky wasn’t sure if your kindness stemmed from wanting to make a good impression as a newcomer, or if you genuinely liked his company.
He hoped it was the latter.
Bucky’s thoughts as he descended the tower to the small, concealed area in the basement he used to get away from the bustling upper level floors, was that this new year brought a fresh start, and that’s what he needed most right now. A clean slate. To hit the reset button on life.
He knew it was arbitrary, nothing would actually reset at the tick of midnight - his troubles of December 31st would still be his January anxieties; his murderous past would continue to follow him around like a shadow, something he couldn’t simply shake off and which only became darker the more light you shed on it.
But a change in calendar year could at least come with a change in mindset. That would be the first step in achieving his New Year’s resolution and to move on with his life.
Perhaps finally forgiving himself for the atrocities his body committed without permission from his mind would be the first step in feeling like he truly belonged.
“Hey, whatcha doing all the way down here?” Bucky recognised the voice immediately - of course it would be you to find him down here. You were the only person besides Steve to care enough to notice his absence.
“How did you find me?” Bucky chose not to turn around, he didn’t want you seeing the affliction on his face it seemed only you could detect, no matter how hard he tried to mask it.
“It’s not too difficult when you have a cloud of melancholy following you around.” There were times when Bucky relished your powers, being able to sense his emotions meant he didn’t have to find the right words to vividly express how he was feeling when he didn’t have the strength to describe just how miserable and despondent the weight on his chest felt on a particular day. Though, today was not one of those occasions. “What’s wrong?”
“This is technically my first new year since the 40’s, I wasn’t sure how I’d react to the fireworks. Loud sounds sometimes still…” He trailed off, embarrassed at how pathetic it sounded when he tried to articulate that loud sounds still triggered flashbacks to events of a war which occurred eighty years ago.
The concern brimming in your eyes in response to this almost made him feel guilty for not telling you the entire truth - yes, he was concerned that the sporadic, popping sounds of the fireworks would set off one of his PTSD episodes, but what he failed to mention was he was frustrated with himself at not being able to make conversation with the team upstairs as easily as he’d have hoped.
With you it came so easy. Expressing himself to you was effortless and didn’t carry the same nervous weight as it did with everyone else. But that only made his futile efforts earlier that night all the more infuriating and discouraging.
You reached out and took hold of his hand. Even though Bucky had known you for around six months, it still surprised him every time how gentle, almost affectionate, your touch was. It made him flinch, but not in the same way physical touch usually made him recoil. He liked the feeling, he was simply not used to it. Not used to being handled like something cared about, something treasured.
“I’m not going anywhere, I’ll be with you through the whole thing.”
The basement of Stark Tower was the depot for all previously loved items that Tony refused to throw away, so with the items on hand, you set up a blanket fort between a few old chairs, loaded with comfy pillows and sought out some old card and board games to keep the two of you occupied.
When the clock suddenly struck twelve, and the new year commenced, Bucky could barely hear the crackling sound of the fireworks from the haven of your blanket fort, even with his enhanced hearing. You said a quick ‘happy new year!’, kissed him on his cheek and went straight back into the game of uno you were teaching him to play.
He was far too engrossed enjoying his time with you, and trying to hide the blush creeping up his neck to his cheeks, to pay any mind to what was occurring outside the four walls of the basement.
“Do you have a New Year’s resolution?” You asked as you played a draw two card. Bucky groaned in annoyance, though your cute chuckle in response to this was the real reason he had done it.
“Are you really meant to share resolutions? I thought that jinxed them.” Was what Bucky said to avoid saying his out loud.
“It’s not like a wish Buck, you can say a resolution aloud - it’s the work you put into them that makes them come true.” Bucky hesitated a moment but eventually gave in to your curious expression. He knew his aspirations would be safe with you.
“To try and be kinder to myself. Forgive myself for the deeds I was forced to commit and to remind myself what I did doesn’t define who I am now.” His statement sounded recited and even he wasn’t completely convinced by his words, so he knew you, who was privy to every inflection of emotion through his body, would not be satisfied with his answer. “That I’m not a killer anymore.” Bucky added feebly.
“James, you were never a killer.” He had seen the way his own teammates looked at him with utmost caution and terminal wariness every time he entered a room, as if they were all predicting his complete disintegration where he would revert to his brainwashed state and attempt to kill everyone in the tower. He was positive they considered him an executioner.
Bucky paused - you had never looked at him like that.
“I killed people, I’m pretty sure that makes me-”
“No it doesn’t, because that wasn’t you.” You interrupted. The ease at which these words rolled off your tongue and the steady conviction of your voice as you doubled down on your argument, prompted Bucky to think you actually believed them. “You do not hold any of the blame for what you were forced to do, you are a war veteran who fought for the freedoms of so many people, you gave your life so others could live theirs free of Hitler’s regime. You should be commended, not punished.”
“Thank you, for having that faith in me, I’m not sure I deserve it.”
“Yes you do. And I’ll always be around if you need the reminder.” You placed your second last remaining card down on the ever growing pile and claimed ‘uno’. Bucky was too preoccupied with the words you had said to continue focussing on the game.
“Always?”
“For as long as you want me to, Buck.”
“What if I wanted you around forever.” Bucky commented, chuckling slightly so you’d think he was half joking, even though he wasn’t. He bashfully broke eye contact to place a card on the central pile, but it didn’t stop his cheeks from heating like an ember.
“Then forever it is.”
Bucky was absolutely positive you were currently able to sense his feelings of deep affection and devotion for you as easy as noticing the warm sunlight on your skin during a cloudless summer day. But with the way you were earnestly smiling at him, and those kind eyes looking at him like he was all that mattered to you, he didn’t feel panicked that you knew how he felt. In fact, right here with you was the most serene he had felt since the 1940s.
As you placed your final card on the pile, a triumphant smile blossoming on your face as you won the game, he found he could not tear his eyes away from the magnificent sight.
Bucky realised in that moment he would do anything to see you smiling like that every day of his life.
The thought he actually had a remainder of a life to plan for frightened him, but if he would be able to spend it with you then he considered that a life worth living.
“Bucky?” You queried with wide eyes, scooting closer to him in the fort. His heart started pounding rapidly in his chest with anticipation - you wouldn’t have to have empathy powers to tell your proximity made him nervous.
“Mhmm.” He hummed, licking his lips as his gaze quickly averted to your own before returning to your yearning eyes, which were making the carefully constructed walls he used to keep the pain of rejection out, weaker by the millisecond.
“You know, it’s tradition to kiss at the beginning of the new year.” You stated with a contagious cheeky smile.
“I do remember that one.” He chuckled shyly, hopeful excitement buzzed in his stomach at the prospect of what was about to happen.
“I’d like for you to be my first kiss of the year.” You requested, and Bucky’s heart felt like it would explode in his chest it was beating so powerfully. “Also for you to be the only person I kiss all year, if that’s okay with you.” And with that he thought he had died and gone to heaven.
“Perfectly fine with me.”
You reached across the paltry space between you and tenderly placed your lips on his as your eyes fluttered shut. The kiss was tentative at first - you were allowing Bucky to set the pace, determine how deep he wanted to delve. It was Bucky’s first kiss since the 40’s, he was worried he would disappoint you, but when he felt your eager lips against his, it gave him the confidence to go all in.
Reaching across the space between you, Bucky pulled you into his lap, simultaneously silently asking permission to explore your mouth with his tongue, which you freely gave him.
Your bodies pressed together, your hands pulling you ever closer to him, was the unexpected, yet perfect way to start to the new year.
Dear January, thank you for already making this year better than my last.
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teejaystumbles · 3 months
Text
Against all odds (Part 5)
Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4
(this continues directly after Part 4, Hob reads the rest of Dream's entry)
Negligence and luck were my saviours in the end. I managed to escape and take my revenge. I have recovered my tools of office and my power. I am free. And yet I feel like part of me is still trapped inside that basement, as unconnected to the world around me as I was before, but in a different way. Before I was captured I felt, if not above then distinctly separate from humanity; I resented that my existence depends on them, on you. I felt detached, outside of what should be intimately familiar to me. Now I am able to recognise that, but to overcome my reluctance to embrace humanity more is still a struggle. I know that not all of you are like Roderick Burgess but the fear lingers, despite logic telling me there is nothing to fear. I know my function is to serve them and my imprisonment caused great harm to many. I see now why I cannot go on like I used to. I hope that you might help me with getting to know humanity again, as you have so many times before. I confess that in my mind you had stopped being simply a human and therefore outside of how I judged humanity. You might have worried I might look down on you, but in fact I have long since seen you as someone apart from the humans I tend to. For that I am sorry, because you are just as deserving and in need of my attention as everyone else. Your perspective was supposed to help me understand humanity better, to grow closer to humans and I failed to learn my lesson. I only grew closer to you, while completely ignoring that you are human and failing to extend my feelings for you onto the rest of humanity. I was supposed to listen to you and learn what it is like to live a human life, but I did not internalise the lesson. I hope that with time I will become able to value human lives in their entirety and show others more respect and compassion. This will not come easy to me after nearly a century spent in a cage at the hand of a human, but I will try.
I apologise, Hob. All this will not make much sense to you because I have still not told you who I am, and I still wish to do so in person. Suffice it to say that you have already glimpsed the truth and noticed changes that are related to my person and what happened to me. Feel free to guess, my friend, but be assured that I will give you my name soon. Maybe then you will understand the scope of all I’ve relayed to you.
I have laid myself bare for you, my friend. I do not think I could have articulated half of this had we talked face to face. Admitting to my faults and insecurities does not come easy to me. My ordeal has left me with some conditions that I did not know I was capable of suffering. As you already know I am struggling with being in enclosed spaces, and I feel especially reluctant if there is a lot of glass. I also do not enjoy being close to humans I do not know, although, as you well know, I know everyone. This is limited to certain aspects of their person, though, and does not include mind reading. Therefore I find myself apprehensive of their goals and possible actions, which is why I prefer to keep my distance. I know that these fears are not logical and that I should be able to “shake them off” - yet I cannot, and I do not know for how long they will impede me. My greatest fear I have so far not articulated, though. If I tell you my name, will you still look at me the same way?
The words stop without a farewell and Hob drops the journal with a choked sob, his eyes wide and watering. He wants to howl. He refrains for the sake of his neighbours and simply slumps to the floor beside the fallen book. It’s still open and Hob rereads the last line through more and more tears welling up. He makes a sound like a wounded animal and gets back up on his knees, searches for a pen on top of the desk and then immediately launches into writing a reply right there on the floor.
My friend, my dearest friend!
Why would you think that I would ever look at you differently? You are more dear to me than anyone else and knowing your name and who or what you truly are will not change that! I believe I have been privileged to get to know you over the few times we met, and even more through these letters we have been writing. Even if your name was Oberon, or Hades, or hell, even Lucifer! I would not look at you differently, except to ask you why you lied when I first guessed that you might be a demon. I don’t think you would ever lie to me, though. Whatever you are, I have thought about it and puzzled over it since I first met you, so you know that the only way I would look at you if I finally got to know your name would be with awe and curiosity - the same way I have always looked at you. You are endlessly fascinating to me and I cannot believe you would think that I might change my opinion on you because of something as unimportant as a name. I already know you, dear stranger, with or without it. So I say, don’t tell me unless you truly want to. Don’t think you owe me a name or explanation. I do not need it. All I need is you, and our conversations. 
Hob pauses his writing and lets the pen drop from his fingers, drawing a shaky breath and rubbing his eyes. He wishes he had planned this better, thought about what he would write before starting, but in the end it’s maybe best to give his stranger this excessive honesty. Hob has a bad feeling about his friend’s entry simply stopping and what he probably needs is immediate assurance. So this is what Hob will lead with, and address the other issues afterwards. He means it, too. He doesn’t care who or what his friend truly is. He’s Hob’s friend, the oldest and best he’s got, and he’s determined to keep him, no matter what kind of being he turns out to be. “My sister, Death.” That's what his stranger wrote, Hob remembers and flips the pages of the journal back, rereading the first part of his friend’s entry. Roderick Burgess tried to summon Death, and got her brother instead. Death’s brother. His friend is Death's brother. What could that possibly make him? One of the four horsemen? Pestilence, or Famine? War seems unlikely, somehow. Actually none of these fit his stranger, Hob thinks and shakes his head slightly. He gets up and sits at the desk, the journal open in front of him. He doesn’t quite know what to write next and so he drops the pen and goes to wash his face and make himself tea, trying to collect his thoughts in the meantime.
When he returns to the bedroom he finds he cannot write more without mulling it all over first. He feels empty, the horror of his friend’s ordeal growing more and more clearer in his mind. He doesn’t know what to write besides “Please let me hold you. Please let me make you smile. Please let me love you.” None of that seems even nearly appropriate to tell to a traumatised person that is probably not even remotely attracted to him. What his stranger needs now is a friend (well, actually a therapist, but Hob will do his best), not a clingy lover like Hob.
He goes to bed and leaves the journal open on the desk. Maybe when he wakes up he’ll be able to find the right words. He falls asleep to thoughts of prisons made of glass, his friend stuck inside, looking mournfully at him.
Hob dreams of the White Horse. He wears his modern clothes but the Inn looks like it did in 1589 and with a smile he sits down at the lavishly decorated table, ready to host his friend. When Hob looks up his stranger is standing a few feet away on the other side of the table. He looks like Hob saw him in his bedroom, although his hair is a bit wilder and his black coat looks longer and is speckled with stars. Hob smiles at him and gestures at the spread.
“My friend! Sit, eat! You must be awfully hungry!”
His stranger frowns and takes a cautious step closer, looking at the table laden with food, then back at Hob.
“You offer me sustenance, my friend?”
I offer you everything.
“Of course,” Hob exclaims, “this, and more! If there is anything I can give you, I will! Please, only ask and I will try and find a way to get it for you.”
Hob wants to stop talking but he can’t seem to stop the words. “Be it food or drink, or hugs, or kisses - everything I have, my heart, if you but ask, is yours.” He blushes, knows that his eyes have grown wide in shock and still he cannot stop looking at his friend, staring at him in open adoration. Brother of Death, brother of Death, his mind keeps shrieking at him and Hob feels his smile crumble in dread as his stranger does not visibly react to Hob’s words at all. Too forward, too honest! Fool, you dare, he chides himself and bites his tongue when he feels more words on the cusp of breaking free.
His stranger does not acknowledge Hob’s words, he slowly picks up a strawberry and takes a delicate bite. His dark eyes do not leave Hob’s for even a second, though. Hob feels heat pool in his belly and bites his tongue harder until he feels blood well up inside his mouth. He opens it and a drop spills out, staining his lips as red as the strawberry is staining his friend’s. His stranger’s eyes are black from side to side now, gleaming in the low light like pearls. Hob blinks and suddenly the man is right in front of him, reaching out until his fingertip gently brushes the drop of blood from Hob’s lips, the next moment he is standing at the other end of the table again, a half-eaten strawberry staining his fingers. Hob feels lightheaded and grips the table to remain upright. What is going on? This is the strangest dream he’s ever had. The voice of his friend is suddenly coming from everywhere, reverberating inside Hob’s head.
“I accept your offering, dear Hob. I promise to cherish it…and treat it with utmost care.”
Hob wants to ask what his friend means but he feels very tired all of a sudden, despite knowing that he’s already asleep. He feels himself sink back into what feels like soft cushions and the room darkens around them until all he can see are two twin stars twinkling in his friend’s eyes. Then there is nothing but darkness, and sleep.
Part 6
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keikakudom · 2 months
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(Not a lore post) RR!AU Lucifer and Vox
Nobody asked, but it's been marinating in my thoughts for awhile.
In the context of my RR!AU, I think there's a lot of potential for AppleTV/StaticApple/whatever the relationship name for Lucifer/Vox is.
This can be taken platonically or romantically, but here are a few reasons why I think their AU relationship in general is pretty neat.
For one-- It's not reliant on Alastor. Alastor is not the "glue" that connects or introduces them! It's just so fascinating to explore how they'd meet naturally by those circumstances alone.
The next reasons get more intense.
CW: depression
The two dominant traits I've characterized for RR!Vox is that a.) he's super FAKE and b.) he's has existential depression(one day I will find a way to articulate how I feel about post-Hell, I know-- ironic, nihilist Vox).
Lucifer sees a sliver of himself in that aspect of Vox. The landscape of Hell? It's just so...eugh. Really easy to lose hope in Sinners because of that. The difference is that Vox sought out to "help" Charlie, and is actively trying to create a challenge for himself. On paper, this seems like a really good idea - but Lucifer still can't trust sinners, so he's like. I want to make my daughter happy AND I need insurance, so soul pact it is!
From my "Contract" comic: Lucifer was able to see instantly through Vox's façade. He lets Vox do it anyway though, because it's entertaining, in a nice way. It might be fake, but I feel Lucifer acknowledges and respects the effort it takes to be cordial and please people(at least to the wide extent that Vox can).
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This screenshot is from a infodump convo with my bestie, edited because I first wrote it as "redemption" when I really just mean to 'better himself'.
That said, none of them needed to accept the soul deal from eachother...so it's very much a mutual balancing act.
Anyway, my AU is /gen but hey, I'll indulge in anything that seems interesting ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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wildflowercryptid · 6 months
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Hope its okay if I ask about your versions of Florian and Juliana, thanks ^ _ ^
- Are they siblings?
- What are both their personalities?
- Were they actually raised in Paldea? The MC's in the game are implied to originally be from Galar so I was just wondering that
- Which storylines from the game are each the of them the main character of?
I'm so sorry if I've missed out an info sheet on them hhhhghg
Thank u again!
oh, it’s more than okay to ask about them! i actually really like talking about my interpretations of the pokémon characters, but i just struggle to articulate my ideas a lot of the time. or forget to share them. i’ve been meaning to drop lore for these two so i’ll do that now!
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( putting the answers under a cut because i kinda ended up rambling. oops. )
are they siblings?
yes, they are! juliana is the older of the two, but they’re actually super close in age ( with jules not even being a year older than florian. ) because of that, they’re pretty close and sometimes get mistaken for twins. they still bicker and annoy each other like any other typical sibling relationship, but they respect each other a lot and consider each other their greatest confidant. their relationship kinda ends up paralleling carmine and kieran’s own dynamic as siblings, with juliana and florian seeing each other as equals while the same can’t really be said for carmine and kieran.
what are both of their personalities?
while they’re both pretty level-headed, juliana is definitely the more outgoing and confident of the two. florian is more of the reserved type, someone who typically keeps to himself and would much rather wait in the wings than be center stage, ( too bad he’s basically the major protagonist of the story. ) they’re both fairly friendly, but he struggles connecting with others more when compared to his sister. essentially, they’re kinda like a dialed-back version of mabel and dipper pines. florian generally is a very sweet and open-hearted kid who tries to see the best in others, which often leads to his kindness being taken advantage of and getting pushed around easily, ( i.e. carmine convincing him to keep the secret about ogerpon from kieran. ) because of that, juliana is a little protective of him and isn’t afraid to step in when he struggles to stand up for himself. and while she does like to be seen as reliable, that doesn’t mean that she doesn’t encourage florian to be more confident and advocate for himself more. he does end up growing more of a backbone during the timeskip, which makes her very proud. meanwhile, juliana is a lot more outspoken and doesn’t hold back when things need to be called out. she’s still just as compassionate as her brother and is extremely reliable, along with having a very strong moral compass. she definitely fills the cool, reliable older sister role pretty well.
were they actually raised in paldea?
they grew up in galar like what’s implied in canon, but the details are a little different. they’re actually paldean on their mother’s side, who was originally from cabo poco herself. their family decided to move from wyndon back to her hometown after their father lost his job at one of macro cosmos’s now defunct finance subsidiaries. luckily, he was able to land a new desk job in medali and now larry’s his boss. ( the two get along well, they talk about their kids during lunch breaks. )
which storylines from the game are each of them the main character of?
juliana takes on the victory road and starfell street storylines while florian tackles the path of legends and filling out the pokédex, with both of them coming together for the way home. initially, i conceptualized them as co-protagonists and they still kinda are… but florian has definitely taken on the role as primary protagonist with how much shit keeps on just happening to him. i would expand the specifics of how the path of legends plays out for florian and how his friendship with arven develops, but i’ve already rambled enough so i’ll try to talk about that in another post.
hope this answers all your questions and sorry if it's a little long, i've just gotten attached to these kids and have a lot to say about them.
if you have any other questions ( about the paldea kids or mjverse in general, ) please feel free to ask them! it might take me a sec to reply, but i'll try my best!
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saccharineomens · 1 year
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A small Chainsaw Man Analysis
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They're referencing this post:
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(Sorry i can't respond to your ask directly, tumblr kept crashing)
LMAO ok Anon you win but I can’t promise this will be very articulate or coherent
Ok so when I first heard about Chainsaw Man I heard it was The Manga Of All Time and the anime has been Majorly Hyped and Everyone Loves It so I was curious. Then I went and watched the anime and I was like ‘huh ok I mean. It’s good but it’s not like mindblowing.’
Then I read the manga all the way to the end of part 1 and I understood.
So the world of Chainsaw Man is set in a Fucking Bleak reality. Like, overwhelmingly so. The fact that devils exist and can murder humans on a whim and it’s basically treated as an unavoidable inconvenience because how the hell can you stop them, really, when they’re functionally immortal? The best you can do is kill them, send them to Hell, and hope they don’t die there and revive back on Earth. The protagonist is a 16 year old orphan who sold parts of his body to pay off a “noodle incident” debt inherited from his father, and then the kid was murdered by the yakuza he owed money to because they decided they liked devils, actually, and didn’t want him around killing them. In CHAPTER ONE. Why would anyone enjoy reading about a story set in a world like this?
Because of Aki, and Power, and the family Denji created with them. It takes a while for the ball to get rolling in the story, because they’re strangers at the beginning, but any manga reader is gonna know what I mean when I talk about how they love each other. Denji comes across as a sex-obsessed, horny teen, but that’s just because he craves emotional intimacy and sex is the only way he thinks he could get it. The truth is that his shower/bath with Power was the exact kind of vulnerability and intimacy he was craving, and it WASN’T sexy. The narrative didn’t treat it as sexy. Denji even notes that it wasn’t sexy, to his surprise, but it was nice to be able to be vulnerable with another person. Then there’s Aki, who imprinted on Denji and Power so hard he straight-up was considering quitting being a devil hunter so he could just live a normal life with his new family. He was willing to abandon his obsession with the gun devil, something that he’d been driving his will to live for years, for them. It was Himeno’s death and the letter he read that made him realize that the life of a country mouse might not be so bad, if it’s with the people he loves. (I know that’s a loaded sentence out of context but manga readers know what I mean when I bring up the country mouse, right)
I bring all of this up to show how even in a grim, dark, depressing world like Chainsaw Man, there is hope; and that hope comes in the form of love. Love in a general, not romantic, sense. Love of having toast and jam for breakfast, love of a movie, love of a family.
Now, to Makima.
Makima is Really Fucking Goddamn Powerful. She is literally reality breaking, almost as much as Chainsawman. (For the purposes of this essay, I’m referring to Pochita/Chainsawman and Denji as separate entities.) Makima is able to control anyone so long as she feels she has power over them, and she has a contract with the fucking Prime Minister. That’s a terrifying power. She’s literally the manifestation of the fear of being controlled.
And that’s a lonely existence.
Pochita/Chainsawman says it himself. When you’re so powerful, you struggle to make connections with people. Either they worship you and put you on a pedestal, or they fear you. You can’t get close to anyone, no matter how hard you try. The only way Pochita was able to do so was because Denji had no idea who Chainsawman was.
Makima doesn’t show this emotional weakness of hers, because it directly opposes her powers. If people saw her as needing connections with other people, they wouldn’t respect/fear her, and she would literally become weaker as a result. (The same way that as Chainsawman becomes more beloved by the general populace as a Hero, he becomes weaker.) But there’s a point where we, the audience, get to see this side of her. In her date with Denji.
Quick recap (of one of the best chapters in the whole manga, thematically): Denji and Makima go on a date at a movie theater. They sit and watch like six movies in a row over the course of the day. The first five are packed with people and are funny/entertaining, but not very deep. Neither Denji nor Makima are very impressed with these. Then…I’ll just post the comic here.
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The final movie they see is more of an indie arthouse film. Most importantly, it shares an intimate, vulnerable moment between two people who hug. Denji cries because he sees this thing he craves, as I’ve elaborated on. Then he looks over and sees that Makima is also crying. We already know why, as Pochita said: she is unable to get close to anyone, due to the nature of her powers and the nature of her being a devil. Because of this, Makima craves connections with other people.
Makima straight up tells the audience why she’s doing the things she’s doing. If she has control over Chainsawman, she can have him eat other devils and create a world where those fears never existed. She truly, honestly believes this would make a happier life for humans. But the problem with that mentality is that in a world without bad things, in a world without fear…there’s no good things, either. How do you tell how “good” a good thing is, if you have nothing to compare it against? How can you tell that one in five movies is “good”, if you don’t experience the other four?
Why would anyone enjoy reading about a story set in a world like this? Because despite all of the horrible things that happens, love exists. It shows up over and over and over again. Love exists. It was there. It mattered. It was worth fighting for.
That brings me to the conversation between Makima and Denji I love so much, and why the end of Part 1 works so well.
Makima thinks that a world without bad movies fear would be better. She thinks that in this world, she could be loved. She thinks that in this world, humans could be happy forever because they never suffer hardship.
And Denji knows for a fact that that's wrong, because without bad movies, the good movies don't stand out. You can't say that jam and toast is a great breakfast if all you've ever eaten is jam and toast for breakfast.
And that's why Makima is tragic (because she's never experienced the love that Denji has, and never experienced the hardships he has), and that's why Makima is wrong.
And all of this, the whole conflict of the story, is summed up in three lines between Denji and Makima in a graveyard. It's perfect.
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betterfettered · 1 year
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Hello! I hope you’re doing alright! Is it ok if I ask for the brothers’ reaction to their darling dying during childbirth?
Their attitudes towards their darling’s pregnancy is sort of a mixed bag already which makes me wonder, would they obsess over their child and sort of see them as their last piece of darling or would they hate their child and blame them for darling’s death?
Thank you in any case!
Hello hello anon anon! I hope you're staying cool. I have been sweating like a pig since mid may so even wearing makeup is hard because it runs so much.
As I mentioned before I don't have much experience with this topic so I hope you enjoy it. Let me know if you disagree with me, I'd love to hear your thoughts <3 (AFAB!reader x AMAB!yandere)(grief)(child neglect/abuse)(absentee parent)(18+ readers only please, mdni)[Abuse and neglect are inexcusable in real life. Children always deserve a nurturing, loving home where they feel safe and valued.]
Yandere!Lucifer is most likely going to torment his child as a result, unfortunately. Much like how he treated Belphie in the first game, when he's emotionally overwhelmed he falls back on what is proper and what can be considered as respectable as possible. So he'd be strict with the child and want them to exceed what every other child is doing at the time. However, I don't think he can maintain this kind of mentality. It gets to a breaking point with him where he has to honor his emotions, so I think that once it's clear this isn't working and hurting everyone including him he'd be willing to try and reconsider how he's been dealing with your death and the child.
Also, because he would probably be responsible for children in a few of the below scenarios (lolll), he'd be much, much more lenient and caring with a kid that wasn't his and didn't come from the death of his darling. He'd be a good surrogate father, even if he is a little distant.
Yandere!Mammon would be very, very unwell and probably not able to pay much attention to the child. His typical way to cope is either crying or making jokes about it, but he doesn't have enough tears to cry and can't find a way to laugh at you passing. I think it would take him a few years to be able to be consistently present with the child, but when he did he would try to treasure them as a remainder of you.
Yandere!Levi would probably not want anything to do with the child for five or ten years. They are a personification of his own hell, because they took your attention and presence from him just like he knew they would. He would blame them, I think, but once the child started to reflect your habits and your looks, he would be drawn to them and try to be in their life more. He's pretty negative but not necessarily bitter, so when he eventually tries to bond with the child I think he will be caring and sweet.
Yandere!Satan wouldn't voluntarily give up his child but would likely revert to only being able to feel rage, so they would be taken from him by his brothers. He's not emotionally articulate in the first place so trying to express the massive grief of losing you would exceed his capabilities and just become a lot of destructive, painful wrath. Lucifer will likely parent the baby until Satan can calm down -- and who knows how long that will take? -- but once he was able to be with the child, I think he would really, really do as much as he could for them, researching how to parent and what to do at every point. Even if he doesn't have the words for it, he mostly would see the kid as a testament to his love for you so he'd try to love them perfectly. At first he'd probably be too harsh and too strict, but I actually think he'd course correct sooner than Lucifer would.
Yandere!Asmodeus is the least likely, in my opinion, to end up parenting because I think your death would actually break him. Yan Asmo has managed to smooth over every part of your unhealthy relationship with him by ignoring or reinterpreting it through his delusions, but there isn't really a way for him to be delusional about you being dead. I think he'd be very deeply, personally changed, and it's hard to tell if or how he would recover from it. I think that in the case he did recover he'd be so different from the experience that he'd be rebuilding his personality in conjunction with the kid's development. He probably would never be the same old Asmo.
Yandere!Beelzebub is the most likely of all of them to rise to the challenge and stay parenting the child. Duty is really important to him, considering how seriously he takes protecting Lucifer and the other brothers despite that not being his job any more. He has always imagined parenting a family with you, so if you're not around to make that happen it means he needs to work twice as hard at it himself. Of course, he'd struggle with the grief of it, but your memory would be motivating to him.
Yandere!Belphegor would try his hardest to take care of the child, but he likely wouldn't be able to do it all by himself. He's spoiled and not used to doing anything really difficult, so when he gets really overwhelmed by grief he'd have to rely on the others to help him. Because he'd always be doing his best, as the years passed and the grief became easier to handle, he'd be a better and better dad. I think he's the most likely to use it against the child in an argument when they are older, but he would try to apologize almost immediately (and then probably need help to actually properly apologize).
A little somber, but I hope you enjoyed it!
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The scared lion (Pierre Gasly)
Alexandre Gasly is scared to go to school but he has his papa there to help him through
Note: english is not my first language. Here is some dad!Pierre since I have posted Mick pieces a lot recently. Also, this is a topic that I too feel very respectful, strongly and personally about, this is in no way to offend or point out fingers for anyone 🤍 each person has their own way and this is my perspective, knowing fully well that life and society don't always allow for things like this to happen (I could make a whole post about this but I'm going to stop here because I don't want to bore you out of your mind) lastly, shout out to my mom's kindergarten teacher for the name inspo
Thank you so much to everyone who likes and reblogs, your feedback is appreciated 🤍 and I'm not taking requests so if you have any ideas or concepts you want to share, feel free to do so but know that I'm not certain when I'll be able to tend to them!
Tw: child not wanting to go to school so he can stay with his father (display of emotions)
Since Pierre was home for the week, you had articulated your schedules so he would be the one to bring Alexandre to kindergarten while you left a bit earlier so you could get ahead of work in hopes of getting it all done by the early afternoon and still spend a good part of the afternoon with your boys. "Mama is going to work now!", you announced once you entered the kitchen, "Doesn't mama look pretty in her dress?", Pierre prompted your son to look at you, his blue eyes he got from his father shining as his mouth opened in awe, "Tu es très belle, mama!", he complimented you, "and we are matching!", he pointed to the green coloured pyjamas he was wearing that matched your dresse's fabric, "Thank you boys", you smiled, kissing your husband's lips as a form of thank you as well as Alexandre's head, "Have a nice day Alexandre, mama loves you buddy!", you said before you made your way our of the door.
Once they had tidied the kitchen a bit, Pierre went upstairs with Alexandre to get him ready for school, picking out a pair of shorts and a green t-shirt, per his son's request so he could still match his mama, grabbing his trainers and brushing his hair, "there! All done, little man", he smiled, getting a cardigan from the back of the bedroom door just in case it was colder than expected outside.
"Are we ready to go?", Pierre asked as Alexandre grabbed his backpack that had his snacks for the day as well as his favourite book that he wanted to show his friends, "Oui, papa", he gave him a small smile as they headed to the car.
Arriving at school, Pierre noticed his son's uneasiness when they stepped inside the gates, his little hand squeezing his much bigger one as they walked to the area where the kids meet up with their teacher, "Look, that's Hugo, right?", Pierre pointed to one of Alexandre's classmates that he always mentioned, assuming the the boys were getting along well, "yes", his son replied faintly as he intensified his grasp on his hand. "Bonjour Alexandre, how are you today?", Madame Auclair called for him, and the little boy broke down, tears pooling in his eyes as he looked up at his father, his arms opening so he could hold on to his legs, "What's wrong, mon petit?", Pierre tried to get his attention, unlatching his arms for a little bit so he could crouch down, Alexandre's arms looping around his neck immediately, "Is there something wrong in the class, Alexandre? Is someone being mean to you?", his teacher asked, knowing how children could be from her years of experience, while Pierre tried to wipe some his tears away, the little boy shaking his head no and nuzzling further into his father's neck, "Is it okay if we stay here for a bit?", Pierre asked, knowing that he had done this once from what you've told him and that he wasn't going to make his son go in before comforting him. The teacher nodded and Pierre held his son in his arms while walking to a more secluded area of the hallway, not needing the attention on them like that, "Hey, it's okay, little man, it's okay", he soothed, brushing his fingers over the hair on his forehead and wiping the tears that were drying on his cheeks, "Can you tell papa why are you crying? Are you upset?", he tried, Alexandre looking up at him, "I don't want to let you go, I'm scared", he mumbled, his top lip shaking as tears threatened to spill from his eyes again, "and why is that? Mama and I are coming to pick you up today when you're done, it won't be long", he informed, sensing some ease get back in his son's body, but still not enough for him to let go, "are you?", he asked, "yes, and me and mama and you are going to spend the afternoon together", he said as the little boy smiled a bit, "and we can play football together?", he asked, "of course, I even bet that mama is going to score a goal!", your husband said as he tickled his tummy, Alexandre seeming a little more confident now, "Do you remember what the happened to the lion on your story?", Pierre asked, pointing to the book your son had in his back pack. "He was a big lion but sometimes he was still scared to go alone or to meet his new friends, when he went to meet the zebras", he mumbled, the story plot at the tip of his tongue from all the he made you guys read it to him, "And what did he do?", Pierre caressed his head, not letting go of the embrace, "he went and he made friends wirh everyone, because you can be big and be scared, that's okay, but with your friends everything is better", he explained, "and with mama and papa too", he finished, unlatching his arms so he could grab Pierre's hand and lead them to his class's door.
"Are you sure you want to go in now? I can stay for a bit longer if you want to", Pierre offered assurance to his son, "I can do it papa, merci", he said as he kissed his cheek, knocking on the door to see all his friends and Hugo, who came to greet him at the door, Pierre nodding to the teacher before he bid goodbye.
At around 3pm you had done everything you needed for work and had texted your husband to tell him he could come and pick you up, timing it so you could tidy your things at the office before heading down, only waiting a few minutes in the sun until you saw his car, "Hi pretty lady, fancy a ride?", he said as he rolled down the window, "I am married, very well married actually", you went along, "I'm sure you are, I've heard your husband is quite a catch", he said as he watched you get in the passenger's seat, kissing your lips before making his way over to Alexandre's school. "Mama, papa!", you heard your son's voice once he had seen you in the middle of all the parents, waving goodbye to his teacher and friends before he ran to you, his arms holding your's and Pierre's legs, "Did you have a nice day at school, mon ange?", you asked as you ruffled his hair, "yes mama", he replied shortly, choosing not to mention the morning situation Pierre had told you about on your way over, and grabbing both of his parents' hands, excited for a family afternoon.
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atopcat · 6 months
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What do you think of Emma's opinion on Rhaenicent?
Has Emma commented on Rhaenicent? I haven’t seen anything in regard to this particular ship one way or the other.
It doesn’t matter anyway, actors can ship what they want, my only hope is that it doesn’t come at the expense of their characters. For Emma I doubt this would even be a problem as Rhaenyra is more popular than Rhaenicent, the exact opposite of Olivia’s situation where she has to deal with the fact Rhaenicent is more popular than Alicent.
I honestly love how much Emma loves Rhaenyra, they respect her strengths and tragedy, the writers may treat her with disdain but Emma doesn’t. This is highlighted perfectly by the contrast in Ryan’s dismissive attitude towards Luke compared to Emma expressing Rhaenyra’s pain in such a profound manner people still quote it.
Ryan’s treating Luke’s death as nothing more than a minor inconvenience, something Rhaenyra will simply get over to maintain the idea “there’s still hope” for Rhaenicent. Emma’s doing the exact opposite, emphasising Rhaenyra has never felt this level of indescribable pain before, not even after losing both parents and Harwin. They perfectly articulate how “losing Luke tells her she knows nothing about grief” because their priority is Rhaenyra, not a fabricated ship which only exists on account of HBO not wanting an openly bisexual leading lady who would be romantically involved with a black woman.
So unlike Olivia who is more than happy to throw the entirety of Team Green under the bus to continue the illusion that Alicent’s no.1 priority will always be Rhaenyra, Emma knows there isn’t a universe in existence where Rhaenyra would abandon her family for the woman who stole her throne. I can also see why Olivia’s pushing for a Rhaenicent reunion at the end of Season 2, but I honestly don’t see Emma being in favour of this as it does absolutely nothing for Rhaenyra.
Who knows, maybe Emma does like Rhaenicent or maybe with the introduction of Sabitha Vypren and Black Ally they’re hoping Rhaenyra gets a brand new love interest all together. Either way I don’t think their opinion was even considered because Rhaenicent 2.0 isn’t for Rhaenyra and Team Black, hell you can even argue it’s not for Alicent and Team Green either. It’s solely to continue Ryan’s fanfiction, which is coming at the expense of good writing, and for Olivia to hold onto fan support by warping Alicent into a shell of a woman who has no personality outside of secretly longing for the woman who orders the killing of her grandson.
To be clear I’m not criticising Olivia for liking Rhaenicent, my criticism is with her prioritising it over Alicent.
It just seems to me when you compare and contrast the Rhaenicent they’re hoping for in Season 2 to Emma’s emotional insight into Rhaenyra’s actual character they are on opposing ends. Ryan isn’t able to quite grasp the longterm repercussions of Luke’s death whilst Emma is fully aware that any shred of affection Rhaenyra may have still held for her stepmother died with her beloved son.
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I really want to write fan fiction again but, I'm kind of bad at articulating and creating different scenes and I thought about using chatgpt and I know that's frowned upon but I need help writing lol. Need some advice.
Do not use AI. People look down upon it for a reason. People will always have more respect for genuine, clumsy first attempts at writing rather than someone who publishes what a machine spit out for them. AI is not your work, and you will not improve by having a computer do things for you. I am being stern here to strongly discourage you from Shit GPT. If you tell people in the author’s notes that it’s your first fic, or first fic in a long time, you may very well get supportive comments! If anyone finds out it’s AI, at best, you’ll get people clicking out of the fic because they don’t think it’s worth their time to read something a person didn’t even write, and at worst, you might get angry comments calling you a cheater, in a similar way AI “artists” do. Please don’t do it. You’ll only be hurting your writing and the progression of your skills.
So, what should you do? First of all, know where your strengths lie and lean into them, and know where your weaknesses lie. I’ll give an example. Readers of my fic can feel free to confirm or deny my self-assessment, but I actually don’t think scenery and that kind of descriptive writing is my strong point. I think about what the reader needs to know about the physical space in a scene, maybe little things that could add to the atmosphere, such as describing candlelight glowing upon someone’s face, and I move on. I make sure the reader knows what’s happening in the physical space so nothing is vague or confusing, but that’s about it. I instead focus my writing on the internal monologue/prose of the character’s emotional state and dialogue, because I think those are my strongest points. That’s what I can do well and what pulls people in.
How to create a scene to begin with? It depends on the kind of fic you’re writing, but most of my fics have started out with me thinking about the characters so much that different scenarios pop into my head, and eventually, one takes root; or I’ll watch a scene and think it would be interesting to explore if it had gone differently. My current WIP is at 65k words with 6 chapters, and it began with the simple change to one scene in canon: Aziraphale and Crowley not simply knowing each other in Heaven as angels, but having a romantic relationship. A starting point as simple as that can produce a lot. Think about what you actually want to say about these characters, what kinds of scenarios you want to see them in. You can even think of a type of fic you’d love to read, and instead write it yourself. You can start small! Instead of searching for a fluffy morning-after in bed, for example, write it!
Once you have a starting point, ask yourself what is the most realistic, in-character next step for these characters. Good fic relies on good character analysis. That’s how you make your fic in-character. I generally don’t plan out my fics a lot, and instead have a core idea and some future scenes I want to write, and I ask myself how these characters would naturally build up to those future scenes. Would it be natural for the character to say this? What would they do in this situation you put them in?
Lastly: the key to writing well is reading. This goes for all kinds of writing. Read widely, read often. It helps you expand your vocabulary and to see how descriptions, dialogue, and the structure of scenes and stories work in real time. I began writing as a young teen, and while I absolutely think my writing is better now than it was in my first fics published in 2014, I was able to write at all because I was such a voracious reader at the time. It’s also why I was a good writer in school, because reading helps you write multiple types of pieces.
I hope this was helpful. Also, at the end of the day, it is just fan fiction. It’s fine if it’s not perfect. Open up a document and start jotting down ideas or snippets of dialogue to get your brain started
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meenawrites · 7 months
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Seo Yul Deep Dive–Part 2
SO I am back while in class but the professor's not here yet so whatever.
I've clearly been browsing the Seo Yul tag here and I've seen some opinions that really shock me so I hope I can address them here and in future posts.
First of all, we start Part 2 with Yul finally returning from Seoho Fortress after having been forced to leave three years ago.
Guys, he has been SUFFERING from this blood parasite FOR THREE YEARS! So of course, he looks kind of sickly when he arrives. I honestly don't know how he's been holding in there this long.
We also find out that So-I, despite being able to escape now that the blood parasite is no longer in her, is actually opting to stay Jin Mu's little puppet or pawn and let him believe she still has the blood parasite all so she can continue to receive medicine for said parasite and send it to Yul, which is kind of heartbreaking actually and kind of redeeming for her character. (I have a lot to say about her but that may be for another post, we'll see).
So Seo Yul comes back to Daeho Fortress, reunites with his friends, and it's like something clicks back into place for our favorite trio.
We know that Danggu was feeling kind of uncomfortable with Uk not because of the ice stone exactly but he just doesn't know how to talk to him with everything that happened three years ago weighing on their shoulders; which is fair, it was A LOT. But as soon as Yul comes back, it's like they all know how to act together once again.
I really wanted to point this out because I think traditionally a lot of people might find Yul's character kind of boring because of how quiet and strict he is with himself AND HE'S NOT. And we can see that by how his mere presence brings the trio back together, that they start to talk and joke around again as soon as he just makes an appearance. It really highlights how core he is to their friendship, not just an accessory. Yes, his two friends are louder and more lively than him, but because Seo Yul is so quiet and reserved, when he does choose to make a joke or tease it has that much more impact. To top it off you can just FEEL how much he loves his friends and I really think these are two main factors in why Uk and Danggu love him so much. Seo Yul is central to their group, always has been, and he has been looking out for Danggu and Uk his entire life.
Moving on though, we have Seo Yul meeting Jin Buyeon/Naksu, and all of their interactions in the show (prior to him finding out she's Naksu) are ADORABLE! I think they really highlighted once more that Yul and Naksu would always gravitate towards each other in some way because their relationship/bond goes way deeper than anything romantic.
Like yes Yul's care for Naksu has always had a romantic connotation, but his regard for her went way deeper than that. I don't quite know how to articulate it but I think overall he really respected and cared about her as a PERSON just with romantic undertones, not necessarily an all consuming romance. And I think Naksu feels the same way. There is something in Yul that brings her comfort and she likes spending time with him, but it's also never been precisely defined that she loves him romantically. Again, I think there are definitely romantic undertones, even on Naksu's side (made clear by how often she emphasizes how handsome he is) but I think above all her regard for Yul is a lot deeper and purer than that. He is someone who gave her shiny and happy memories in the midst of a life that was anything but happy. This kid showed her that people CAN be unconditionally kind, that people could still be good at a time I think was very important for her, and I think frankly Seo Yul does that for a lot of people. He just constantly reminds people in his attitude and actions that unconditional kindness and care does still exist and he's a prime example of that.
So yes they gravitate towards each other again without remembering the other for a while and it's precious to watch. They frankly just enjoy each other's company, and I absolutely love the scene of them agreeing to be "foolish friends". Might do a whole other post on that scene but yeah.
Let's move on to the agony of Yul's character arc this season.
As we know, the aftermath of the tragedy of season 1 DEEPLY affected Yul. He has no idea that Naksu/Mudeok was controlled into going wild and killing so many people. All he knows is that she went wild, killed Jang Uk and ruined Danggu and Choyeon's happiness. It's his ultimate failure in his point of view. It's been drilled into him that soul shifters are unnatural, that they will inevitably cause great harm, but he elected to ignore that not only for Naksu's sake but also for Jang Uk's sake. He had been watching over her actions all of season 1 both because he cannot stay away from her but also probably to ascertain whether she would really be a threat.
And right when he'd made the decision to leave her alone, to let her and Jang Uk be happy, that maybe the absolute rules he's been taught to believe in unconditionally can be broken, everything he'd feared in letting Naksu/Mudeok continue to live came true.
So OBVIOUSLY he's consumed with guilt. Because he knew exactly who she was for so long, knew that she was a soul shifter, knew the risks and his duties that weigh so heavily upon him, but elected to ignore them for his own feelings, his own moral compass that for once was disagreeing with this set of absolute rules he abides by. And in his view, everyone he loves has paid for his inaction and his decision to let her be.
Like just think about it from his POV, he feels like it's all his fault, especially more so because we know that Yul (and literally every adult around him) holds himself to a very high standard, so his guilt is just that much more intense.
This is why he's letting himself die silently by the blood parasite. This is why he never took the medication even though his pain throughout the last three years must have been so so bad. Because he feels like he deserves it. He's punishing himself, and he thinks he should die for the role he played in the tragedy of season 1.
Yul is someone who feels everything very deeply, and from the way he takes everything upon himself, we can infer that Yul's never had anyone who actually takes care of HIS inner world and HIS feelings. We don't know much about his parents, but from the few family members we have seen –his aunt and uncle – no one seems to care much for him and his feelings. Reinforced by the fact that he's the only heir and the way all the adults treat him, I have to believe that Yul grew up largely having to take care of himself in the emotional aspect. An he grew up, emphasis was heavily put on responsibility and duty as the next head of the Seo family. Combine that with what usually happens with children who act more mature and are more obedient than others -> adults LOVE you. And for someone like Yul who I have to believe didn't really have that emotional support that any child should have from their parents and adults in their life, I think that was just more incentive to cling to this good boy title of his, to foster his absolutist sense of morality that he was being taught, and striving to be as responsible as possible.
That's where his self-flagelating attitude comes from, and that's the kind of background we can infer from the way he acts and reasons through his feelings.
So yes, he was going to let himself die no matter how stupid that is because he thought it was only right.
When he discovers that Jin Buyeon is really Naksu but without her memories, he's in moral agony once again. Because on the one hand he is so so happy she is still alive, but on the other, all that trauma from what happened when she went wild last season is brought right back to the surface (as if he isn't constantly thinking about it already).
And we can see that in the scene where upon discovering it, he just hugs her and asks to stay like that for a while. He cannot believe she is standing in front of him but he is also deeply sad because he feels like she and Uk are destined for tragedy once again (especially with him again not knowing that Mudeok/Naksu was hypnotized last season into going wild, it now feels like an inevitability, a certified truth that the tragedy will repeat itself eventually).
And this time, Uk DOESN'T KNOW. So in Yul's mind, he thinks that that's better, that this is an opportunity afforded him to correct his mistake from last season, and again take care of everyone else's happiness aside from his own.
This combined with how sick he is from the blood parasite I believe largely contribute to his plan to kill Jin Buyeon/Naksu in Danhyangeok. But he also cannot live knowing he did that to her and also Jang Uk. He feels like this is the right choice for everyone's future happiness in the long term, but it will destroy him. So instead of killing her and then just waiting to die, he plans to kill both of them. Infuriating from the viewer's side but totally understandable from his perspective and disposition.
But then we have So-I who is ready to do anything to save Yul, and he ends up being not only discovered but on the verge of death. And So-I dies trying to protect him. Once again, he's just in moral agony because someone has died for him when he was resolute on killing himself. He thought that would be the best course of action for everyone, was convinced, but then someone new dies specifically for him and he's in distress again. What is the right choice? What should I have done?
And when Uk comes to his rescue and grabs him by the back of his neck, we can see just how in despair he is. His "I'm sorry" to Uk is an apology not for dying here and needing to be rescued but for so many other things. For his inaction last season, for having run like a coward to Seoho Fortress for 3 years (in his opinion), for knowing that Jin Buyeon is Naksu and not being able to tell him, for knowing who she is and not being able to protect Uk from pain at her side. For so many things and it's so so heartbreaking.
When Yul is healed and saved, he honestly just doesn't even know what to do anymore, what the right thing to do is. Jin Buyeon/Naksu has saved him, which then makes him feel guilty for planning to kill her in the first place. But he also can't see any way out of a repeat tragedy. Basically his moral compass is going haywire.
Side note: we were totally robbed of the trio reuniting with Seo Yul and then scolding him for being an idiot. Might fuck around and write another Missing Scene oneshot for that.
But then he finds out that Naksu's soul is going to disappear anyway. And he's again conflicted (I swear my man can never catch a break). On the one hand, he's very sad that Naksu is going to disappear out of this world, just gone without ever having been happy. On the other hand, he's relieved because he thinks that with her disappearance no tragedy will occur. Furthermore, the body will be returning to the soul of its original owner which is morally correct by all standards.
So all he can hope for now is for Naksu to be happy with the time she has left with the person she loves. He even goes and threatens Jin Hogyeong (which is not something he would ever normally do) just to give her the chance to be happy with the time she has left. (I'm sobbing yall, I love him).
But then, thanks to Heo Yunok (was very upset with her this season), that all goes to shit because she exposes Naksu right when Uk is finally admitting he's fallen for Jin Buyeon/Naksu, that she's finally going to be happy. And now she remembers everything and how she essentially screwed up the happiness of not only the love of her life Jang Uk (who she LITERALLY KILLED like I can't imagine having to deal with that) but also everyone else she cared about. So she decides to distance herself.
And Seo Yul is just there talking to both of them like won't you use your disappearance as an excuse to be together? Even for a little while? Because damn it they deserve to be happy and they're both so dear to him. And he's just sad once again because the world seems intent on hurting these two people he loves so much.
Now lowkey this is where I feel like the writers kind of failed Seo Yul. Take this with a grain of salt though because they had a limited amount of episodes, so all things considered, they did a great job.
But after all his suffering, Seo Yul didn't really get an emotional payoff. Like yes we see him become in charge of the training center in Songrim and he's going to institute a new and fairer system for training mages. But what really would have been good for him and his character would be for it to be pounded into his head how much his friends care about him, how he doesn't have to suffer alone, how he's not guilty of everything he feels guilty of. For someone to recognize finally how much of a burden he has on his shoulders and show him that he doesn't have to shoulder it alone.
I don't think I'm articulating this properly, but I wanted and needed everyone important to Yul to step up after him almost dying to knock some sense into him, to realize how truly fucked up it is for someone to feel so responsible and guilty and self-sacrificing as to just be willing to die in silence. That's why a scene where Danggu and Uk scold the shit out of him would have been necessary, should definitely have happened. He needs some emotional healing and to realize that people in his life are ready to be aggressively there for him.
Just after this incident, his friends constantly coming to check up on him. Like are you good? Your feelings aren't going crazy, right? You don't feel irrationally guilty for something out of your control, right?
I lowkey have way more to say about Yul and his relationship with other people but that's for a different post.
All in all, I'm super glad that Seo Yul found his own path at the end of the season. I think reforming Jeojjingak (if that's what it's called) is his own way of paving the future so that people like Cho Yeon and So-I who had unlucky lots in life have more of a fair chance in the future.
I clearly love this character A LOT.
Congrats to anyone who actually made it this far.
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themetalvirus · 10 months
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i,m having so much trouble articulating the dynamic between canon sonic and egghog amy
like. sonic is so deeply sad and concerned for her. she is overwhelmed, she takes things to heart in a way that hurts her, she has too many responsibilities, she's so full of love and she seems so desperate for people to receive it... she overextends herself. she smiles and laughs but she's so, so tired. she's beating herself up over not being able to save everybody, and he can tell his presence just plunges her further into her sorrow, and he just wants so badly for her to take some of her love and put it towards herself.
sonic understands why she's like this, though. he knows what it's like to be the world's hero. her strength, determination, and love are so admirable. she's endured a thousand trials and will endure a thousand more and come out just as tough, just as kind. he believes in her and her capabilities as a hero. he admires her (in a platonic, mutual respect type of way).
amy is the one whose feelings i'm having trouble articulating. she sees this golden boy, this absolute paragon of a hedgehog just stumble into her world and kickstart change pretty much instantly. he has such a goodness about him, this air of something almost divine coming off of him. he smiles wide and crooked and his too-little fangs gleam and they look so familiar yet so strange. his eyes sparkle. his laugh bounces through the air like bells. just looking at him makes her want to cry. also he's naked and that's pretty weird for everybody to get used to but that's a nonsequitur ANYWAY
like. this guy she is so desperate to free from his chains. a guy she's secretly hoping will love her for setting him free. the daydream about the person he could be has sprung to life in front of her and is doing her job way better than she ever could, in her (biased) opinion. he's not evil. he's free. he's free. she doesn't want him to leave this world. she doesn't want to lose hope on her sonic, the hope of turning him into this, but looking at this familiar stranger she can't help but feel so hopeless. he's nothing like the cute, infuriating, scary boy she knows, but she sees the same guy in there, the same craving for adventure and something to DO and the same cocksure headstrong attitude, the rigidity of his moral compass contrasting his free spirit. free. he's free.
it's agonizing watching what could have been. watching him treat his family like strangers, it feels so bad. seeing how he listens and breathes the fresh mountain air, the way the flickies flock to him, it hurts. that could have been theirs.
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dukeofankh · 9 months
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hey i really really appreciate your posts abt purity culture, desire and objectification and your perspective as an ex-evangelical!! having been born and raised a jew myself i've always been aware of how bullshit all of that stuff is, but not really able to articulate it as specifically as you seem able to, and i find your eloquence really impressive. with that known, i actually have a specific thing that's been bothering me, and i think it's an evangelical purity culture based thing, and hinges on that distinction you made in a post abt a week ago abt how to a lot of people "objectification" = "looking with lust" = "basically adultery"-- okay here goes:
on gay tiktok, there is currently a trend of women (or some nb ppl) who are attracted to women commenting on thirst-traps posted by women the memetic phrase "i am no better than a man".
now this really rubs me the wrong way for a lot of reasons (mainly: contextually this is almost always on videos that are INTENDED to be sexy so why is it weird to find this woman, who filmed and edited this video to be sexy, sexy?? AND what the hell do you mean abt gender by saying this???? women can't desire people?? men can only desire in predatory ways???), and it's weird in that specific way where i'm like. i smell weird cultural christian values embedded in this. but i can't quite articulate the way it all fits together.
this may be way out of line for me to bother you in your inbox like this, but i was hoping to get your take? your ability to explain this stuff clearly and with context i never knew existed is really valuable and while i have seen people responding on tumblr to say "uhhh don't say this", they haven't really articulated what's driving people to say such a specific thing, so much that it becomes a meme.
if u feel this isn't something you want to speak on, that's totally fine! and i just want to say thank you again for your thoughtful posts.
also i feel very weird abt dropping this veritable essay in your inbox so sorry!!
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No worries! I love to talk, and I already have opinions on that particular meme 😆.
You've definitely gotten the gist of it, yeah. It's a bunch of unexamined sexist ideas about sex and desire repackaged in the sort of fun memey "it's not that deep, chill out" shell that absolutely thrives on social media. Some of it's Christian, some of it is the radfem repackaging of Christian ideas.
Basically, the version of Sexual Objectification championed by radfem writers like Dworkin was adapted from Immanuel Kant, a Christian philosopher/theologian, so it's not just cultural Christianity, it's also a direct intellectual connection. They just changed the idea from "all people, when overtaken by lust, cease to see people as people and can see them only as means to achieve their sinful sexual gratification. This cannot be avoided, but can be balanced out by keeping sex within a marriage that is otherwise built on commitment and respect," to "Men, when overtaken by lust, cease to see women as people and can see them only as a means to achieve their sinful sexual gratification (due to their patriarchal training to harm and dominate). This cannot be avoided, especially not by marriage, which is one of the main ways the Patriarchy codifies the subjugation of women to men."
Basically, Radfems and Christians get along because Radfems feel the same way about masculine sexuality that Christian men feel about their own sexuality. As for women...both Radfems and more modern Christians are pretty sure that women don't Do Lust in the same way men do. Like, women see people as ends in and of themselves, as fellow Subjects. Men see women as objects. As means to an end, that end being their own sexual gratification.
A few decades later and after a fair bit of social media iteration, we get to this weird point.
What they're basically saying is, "god damn. I swiped onto this thirst trap and I didn't even think about your personality or your accomplishments or anything. I literally just saw big jiggly titties and that's all I can think about. I am sexually attracted to you, and yet it isn't reflective of your soul or a deep connection between us or anything, despite the fact that I'm a woman and I'm supposed to be above just liking your body and that turning me on. Huh. This is what I have heard people describe men's sexuality as being like. You are so sexy that you are causing me to act as badly as men do."
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See also: the way tiktok has redefined "the male gaze" and "the female gaze" to just mean "stuff men vs. women respectively like to look at" with most explicitly sexualized visual media being assigned to the former. Women are supposed to like things subtler than that.
Like, saying "I am no better than a man" could be a push to re-examine whether maybe a celibate 18th century theologian/philosopher is a bad foundation for your understanding of sexual desire. I would like to think that for some of these women it probably is sparking self reflection, going "huh, yeah, I guess we all do this."
But as a meme, honestly, even as it claims to lower ones own status I think it still maintains a claim of moral superiority? Like, "yeah, I'm being a horndog, but I am self aware about it. I can tell that I'm being horny on main right now, and it's something that has been conditionally activated by this very sexy thirst trap. Men are like this all the time and they don't even know."
I, obviously, don't like that. I don't like people saying "I'm acting like a man" when they mean "I'm perving on you", I don't like ranking a lack of desire as being better than desire, I don't like ranking genders or better or worse than another. I don't think it's causing problems as much as it's reflecting problems that have been there for a long time, but hey, it stinks.
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