#i mean i'm probably still being a petty bitch

[melvinthedepressedrobot]

oh my god I just realised WHY i hate posts that end in that whole schtick of somebody going “posts that have 20k to me” and the OP being like “no don’t do this to me”

you can turn off reblogs now

#jamie's chitchat #IF OP REALLY DIDN'T WANT THE NOTES #THEY COULD PUT A STOP TO IT #THAT'S A THING YOU CAN DO #i mean i'm probably still being a petty bitch #but slightly more justifiably so now

[arielmagicesi]

OK, finally saw the finale. You know what, it was very good. Happy for all the characters’ arcs except Nandor. Bit depressing, obviously, but also very interesting. And wow that cliffhanger!!!!! Annoyed they didn’t do anything about the Marwa situation, but glad they did something about the Guillermo situation. Also loved that they actually used “Sunrise, Sunset”, that warmed my heart. Uh yeah wow it’s not quite the same show it used to be, honestly I preferred the first three seasons, but I like the potential of where it’s going! also Guide/Nadja shippers won this episode lol

#wwdits spoilers #i'm not nearly as thrilled and excited as i was last season #but like. i like it! i like the potential! i'm definitely still invested #i'm not happy about how episode 9 went but other than that i think i still like the show #might go back to being a casual fan though. probably not writing any more fanfic. at least not on a regular basis like i used to #i mean 15 fics is enough lol #anyway. exciting! i liked it! #and the derek thing that all the fans theorized would happen. i did not expect that at all to really happen but i'm THRILLED #can't wait to see guillermo next season being a petty bitch about it yesssss #what we do in the shadows #written by me

[proposalanonaita]

FINE.

The date is fast approaching (seven and a half weeks left), I've had sufficient quantities of Malbec, and I'm realizing that whoever suggested that writing my vows would be MUCH more harrowing than talking about my feelings to internet nobodies.....had a fair point; I should at least attempt to put it all to words before I write the real drafts.

Ugh.

I should probably start by stating that I'm WELL aware of who I am. Rest assured, I know that I'm stunningly abrasive. And controlling. And petty, conniving, misanthropic, or whatever other adjectives you've been calling me in the tags (yes, I DID read those, and it IS weird of so many of you to be calling for my divorce. I thought you were supposed to be nicer than I am?).

All this to say, I've always been cognizant of being an acquired taste. Partly because I've always BEEN an acquired taste. I tone it down in public, and in most of my personal relationships, but I am, down to my core, a Mean Mother Fucker.

With partners before my fiancé, I had to make myself more palatable to stay together. The men I dated were FAR too nice, and snipping with them at all felt like I was a heavyweight champion facing off against a toddler. So I reigned it in. It worked, but no matter how well things were going on paper, I didn't feel like I was myself with any of them.

I was even less myself with The Shithead. I'm NOT getting into the entirety of that particular tire fire here, you little freaks already know FAR too much about me and I won't have you tagging the gory details of the worst part of my life with #bob the builder/fuzzy wuzzy or whatever you're into.

He was horrible to me, I turned dangerously timid, I'm lucky I had enough Mean left in me to get the fuck out. He's changed enough by now that I considered inviting him to the wedding, it was bad enough back then I'm very glad I didn't. Enough said.

...I'm talking quite a bit up here because I still hate having to say any of the next part. Call me an emotionless villain for that if you want to, I am far too employed and 30 to care very much.

Ugh, ugh, ugh.

So.

The thing is, there are people that KNOW me, and there are people who LIKE me. My parents know me, and I've never doubted they love me, but that's not LIKING me as a person. That's a contractual obligation of birthing me. My friends like me, some even like me when I'm catty, but I need to be careful to hold myself back, at the risk of losing them. At best, people loved "me", not ME.

For decades, this was just the way the world was. It was a fact of life- The sky is blue, I'm secretly unlovable, the Earth goes around the sun.

And then, against all odds, I found my fiancé, who manages to do both.

He sees ALL of me. Every square inch, every fleeting thought, every horrible little quirk of my rotten personality. And THEN, as if that weren't bad enough, he turns around and ENJOYS it all. He's not just tolerant of my least palatable traits, he's delighted. The more I show him, the more he likes.

It's awful. I'd say he stole my heart, but that sounds too pleasant. It's more like my heart is a cockroach he could squish at any moment, and I trust him not to, and I'm just supposed to wake up every morning and do the dishes and go to work as if this doesn't mean we're clearly orbiting Saturn. The sky is PURPLE now. What the fuck.

He could at least do me the favor of being completely, 100% perfect, because then I could blame his total lapse in judgement on that, but NO. He's a BASTARD.

I'm engaged to a big sweaty idiot who annoys me on purpose. He's terrible with his money. He tries to take me on HIKES, and JOGS, and CAMPING TRIPS. His taste in every single art form known to man is GARBAGE, he's constantly leaving his dirty socks on the floor, and he's such a bad driver I'm amazed he still has a license.

I've told him all of that to his face, and I've MEANT it, and he's just called me a bitch and asked me what I want for dinner. He knows that I'm unlovable, agrees that all those parts of me are in here, and then loves me anyway.

He loves me. He LOVES me. He loves ME.

I don't know what I'm meant to do with it all, but there's clearly SOMETHING wrong with his brain, so I guess I'll have to keep him, if only for his sake.

[pigeonstab]

Okay so not that I’m still thinking about that art or anything but I have to know, does Horror pick the others up like that too? Do Dust and Cross also get scruffed if they’re in the way or being a pest or are they scooped up more gently? Has he tried picking up Nightmare?? :o

Haha, that's interesting!

I don't think Dust wouldn't get scruffed really, being picked up like that could be very panic inducing I feel like, especially since it removes his hood and messes with his scarf. He's not much of a trouble maker anyways. Though, maybe being picked up like from under his arms would be better, he knows he can't get out of Horror's grip (not without hurting him) so he just goes limp. Horror picks him up for being mean to Killer and it's an immediate slump.

Cross I'm not sure. I don't think he'd be scruffed too much just cause it'd be kinda awkward, they don't know each other that well yet for that kinda bond. Also with his need to be perfect, being physically stopped from misbehaving? He is not having a good time, he feels like a failure. I could see it more like... If he's being hard on himself, like cross insisting: "no, I'm fine, I should train two more hours after having already done eight!" And Horror is just like too bad get scruffed bitch. And Cross could get out of Horror's grip, but the hold is kinda comfortable and he is pretty tired and if Horror's picking him up then he should probably listen right? (Haha what a liar, he loves being taken care of and picked up, touch starved ass)

It'd be kinda funny for Horror to pick Nm up, though I feel like it'd just be reflex, like he's gotten Killer away from danger so many times just by grabbing his hood that one day on a mission he grabs Nightmare's cloak hood, Nightmare's stunned and get kinda choked, he looks back at Horror with a look, my god, if looks could make people melt into the ground that would have done it. And maybe like at home? Kinda like for Cross, when Nm's working too hard Horror comes and picks him up, it goes like this "Put me down you insolent fool! Do you know who I am-" And Horror just says he needs to eat. And Nm knows when it's about food there's nothing to try with Horror. He's all petty like "I can walk there myself" Only to be told "yeah but would you have?" *ensue Nm avoiding eye contact* "that's what I thought." And he just keeps him in his hold, and they don't really talk about it.

Whew this has gotten way too long, sorry man you just give me so many ideas 😭.

#answered asks #Charlie somegrumpynerd #Nm picks all of them up btw #with his tentacles #this started to become a dialogue 😭 #you got me writing fics #undertale au #utmv #sans au #horror sans #killer sans #dust sans #nightmare sans #bad sans gang

[weabooweedwitch]

Most women your age are getting married and starting their families and you've never even had a bf 🤡 it's so over for you better get used to coping with ur crippling loneliness with maladaptive daydreaming, yandere asmr videos, drugs and self-insert fanfic because that's all you'll ever have now. Your youth is gone and you're still fat af even after you lost weight (probably gained it all back by now lmao). You could have made something of urself whem you were 20 by losing weight and going to college but instead you laid around and wasted all of your youth and now it's too late. No man will ever want to deal with your baggage of being poor, old, unwanted, uneducated (lmao how do I have more education than you and I'm 10 years younger? dumbass doesnt even have her GED), cringey age-inappropriate hobbies, mentally ill and not even having the decency to go to therapy and take meds, fat, ugly face, loser and loner with no irl friends, crazy family, looking old for your age, whored yourself out on a sugar daddy website, rotten teeth due to your own laziness, thinning frizzy hair and gross bulky glasses, drug addicted alcoholic who's probably going to be homeless for the majority of her life, mean person attacking minor aged rape victims like jesus christ you're so fucking worthless SO many red flags so much baggage no-one will ever want to deal with that. You don't even know how worthless you are

You know, every time you send me a message like this, I think of the person from your friend group who came forward a while back. You know, the one you don't like to acknowledge tried to apologize on your behalf. Anyways, every time you insult my appearance I just think of what your friend said

So i get it sweetie, youre mad at mommy and daddy and you're lashing out. That's why half the time you're repeating things i previously said back to me and parroting shallow insults with a very small vocabulary. The second i call you fatherless, you call me fatherless. I use thw word maladaptive and, suddenly you know that word too and juat HAVE to use it as well. I get it. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery

You're honestly just making yourself look so pitiable. You realize you've already painted yourself as such a dumb jackass that every single time you do this I basically just laugh and ignore you, and then people who know me and are friends or WANT TO be friends with me see how you treat me publicly and they all say "yeah wow who's this absolutely demonic little cunt acting like this without any reason". Like. What is the end goal here. Making yourself look as petty and stupid as possible. Meanwhile, what did someone else in your friend group say? The ones you lied to? Including Callie, the actual victim whose trauma you're basically trying to appropriate for yourself

Anyways yeah I just wanted to like show you the actual screenshots of the conversation I had with your friend back in June, which also to everyone else, yeah June, that's when she lied to her own friends and said she would stop doing this. She lied to her friends because all of them told her this was making them massively uncomfortable, so now she's. Being an internet troll in secret behind their backs 😂 they were going to tattle on you to your mom so you lied so they wouldn't check tumblr anymore because you're such a weird angry little freak that this has become a hobby for you

I'm sad? I'M sad? I don't even know your fucking name meanwhile you've scrolled through all of my blogs repeatedly for months cataloging details about me for the sheer purpose of trying to poorly insult me.

Like genuinely 90% of the reason I'm answering this is to basically wave a flag saying "hey everyone if you've ever seen or received weird asks of photoshopped porn of me or pictures of my actual family taken from their facebooks or saw the transphobic racist fake dating profile she made with one of my selfies or you ever received a bitch lasagna or Zalgo text, it was this cringey little lolcow right here"

But I also wanted to show you screenshot proof that you make your own friends super uncomfortable and that they started talking about your personal business to defend me over you. So. Yeah I guess that stings huh?

[alexxncl]

‼️NIGHTBRINGER LESSON 39 SPOILERS‼️

masterlist | all lessons | lesson 38 | lesson 40

this was hilarious until i remember that satan is indeed the avatar of wrath and has destroyed the house of lamentations more tines than i can count on both hands. then it got slightly less hilarious, but it's still hilarious

ik we all joke about lucifer being satan's dad bc he technically is but this is PEAK father-son behavior 😭 satan throwing a temper tantrum, no pun intended, over not being able to adopt a cat is one of the funniest things ever actually

y'all know i love me some angst but dear GOD am i happy that we're getting something lighthearted after the emotional rollercoaster that was lesson 38

also we got our room back hehe 🫶🏽

aaaaand now they back to brothers

"nuh uh" "uh huh" DAMN just let him have the cat 😭

shithead lucifer my beloved 🫶🏽 and it's even more heartwarming bc we can see how much he's relaxed and recovered from the incident in cocytus. him smiling and laughing and joking with his brothers freely after the fear of losing them has finally been dissipated has to be a weight off of his shoulders, and a weight off of his brothers' shoulders, too. he's probably been less of himself since the fall, and this is probably more reminiscent of the lucifer from back in the celestial realm

i hc that mammon's familiars/crows just roam around the house freely, so this is even more frustrating for satan bc he's like "well if mammon can have pets, why can't i?"

oh baby :(((

just when i thought we'd gotten away from the angst, i was reminded that we are (i am) indeed on lesson 39 outta 40...ykw at least i was happy for a little bit

10/10 storytelling and writing. i love it when siblings ACTUALLY act like siblings, bc some media doesn't do sibling dynamics justice

granted, solomon isnt their sibling, but lucifer said it once AND doubled down bc he saw that it pissed satan off the first time. the older sibling in me smiled

ik i've said this before but...

lucifer says he hates when his brothers pester him like they don't get it from him 😭 oh no, if it isn't the consequences of your own actions!

now i feel like mammon might be onto something...what if he actually is stronger than lotan? but he doesn't want things to go past empty, playful threats bc hurting lotan would devastate levi, and he adores his little brother too much to do anything that irresponsible. more on this here

the brothers ever 🫶🏽 petty sibling dynamics always get me

satan reusing asmo's phrase after lucifer and solomon used it against him is peak comedy

ADHD TWINS

i can't do long, complicated shit for the life of me without getting sidetracked or overwhelmed

...unless it's these long ass posts

but that's different...kind of

so THAT'S why he was giggling and kicking his feet the whole time?? "hehehe" my ass you sly bitch

also, you can see the amount of pride lucifer feels towards satan just by the way he's acting throughout this entire lesson. he also knew wholeheartedly that satan would, one way or another, find a way to summon the white dragon. he egged satan on and teased him on purpose, which probably made his powers stronger. but i feel like the teasing also was a mask for encouragement

it was obviously still teasing at the heart, but there was a little more to it that reflected how proud lucifer is of his baby brother for coming into his own

also satan initiating the family picture at the end ??? I SOBBED

the lucifer from our timeline would NEVER allow a pet into the house. but the lucifer from our timeline also didn't get to heal the way this lucifer did, so now i'm kinda sad just thinking about that

maybe he thinks having a pet would mean that they're permanently staying in one place? and he still doesn't feel secure enough in his place in the devildom even after all the time he's spent there, even after making a home and a name for himself and his brothers. maybe he considered letting satan get a pet once mc came into the picture, and still toys with the idea, but keeps deciding against it for some internal reason that he won't address

MY WIFE MY BELOVED THE LOVE OF MY LIFE IS BACK

they really do invite any and everyone into the family. i love them so much it makes me insane

completely unrelated but i never realized that the kiss sounds are different for each brother ??? is thus just a nightbringer thing or am i just too far removed from the og game

#obey me #obey me nightbringer #obey me spoilers #nightbringer spoilers #obey me nightbringer spoilers #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me levi #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmo #obey me asmodeus #obey me beel #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphie #obey me belphegor #obey me simeon #obey me solomon #obey me luke #obey me diavolo #obey me barbatos #obey me mc #lucifer obey me #satan obey me #mammon obey me #obey me thirteen #obey me mephisto #obey me mephistopheles

[hyperactivewhore]

Some people have this weird fixation about making Klaus choose Caroline over Hope, especially in fanfics. I’ve seen fics where Klaus abandons Hope, or kills Hayley for disrespecting Caroline, or just ignores Hope in favor of Caroline. Like some people forget Hope’s his daughter - of course, he’s going to choose her over everyone. I think any decent parent would choose their child over a potential girlfriend/boyfriend. And Hayley is Hope’s mom, a very important person in her life. I don’t think Klaus would kill Hayley unless she posed a threat to Hope or if she tried to take Hope away from him. Honestly, I don’t think he would even tolerate people openly disrespecting Hayley in front of Hope, regardless of who it was.

Another thing that I’ve noticed is how people are so determined to make Klaus a father figure to the twins, particularly Lizzie. I’ve read a fic in which Klaus clearly and openly favored Lizzie over his own daughter - which would never happen. I think that if Klaus and Caroline actually did end up together, he still wouldn’t be that present in the twins lives. Since he is overprotective to the extreme, I think that he would hold some resentment over how the twins treated Hope in their younger years. He’s petty enough to hold a grudge against a kid. And anyway, I don’t ever see Alaric allowing Lizzie or Josie to get close to Klaus, no matter what Caroline says.

I don’t know… it’s just weird that people keep diminishing Hope’s relationship with her own father to benefit their ship. Sorry for the rambling.

People fail to remember that Klaus is his own person and not an extension of the ships they like, and that ship half of the time is klaroline because they are obssesed with making him her personal puppy, as if that ever happened in canon.

Granted, Klaus said a few nice things to her and did like two good things to make Caroline not feel so guilty about wanting to fuck him, but other than that there's no way he would ever seriously chose her over his family, especially his own daughter. He chose to save her over Rebekah back in Mystic Falls because his sister is immortal, Caroline isn't.

I've never actually read long klaroline/klamille/klayley fanfiction. Sure, I use to read some oneshots from time to time because they have really good writing, but this fanfics I'll talk about best used to show up while I was in the klaus or mikaelson tag and I used to take a look because I was curious. It has some wild elements, that's for sure.

I've seen a lot of fanfics where they make Caroline some weird ass hybrid/tribrid that manages to be a werewolf, witch and vampire all in one and it's like wtf. They complain constantly about Hope's existence because she breaks canon and yet they make this baby vampire the biggest Mary Sue ever. Yes, the producers created Hope because they wanted to create their own magical baby like Renaissance from Twilight, but they make a fool of themselves by making Caroline be anything but a vampire. Caroline was incredibly mean and a complete hypocrite as a human and don't bring me the "she was insecure and always in Elena's shadow" because I'm insecure too and that doesn't make me be a bitch to the people who love me. Klaus was always threatening her whenever she spoke in a way he didn't like, and that was when she was already the "sunshine vampire" people claim to love so badly, so people who think he would even let her live if he met her as a human are laughable.

Klaroline shippers are so pressed about Hayley being Hope's mother, I can't even tell you how many posts, videos and weird fanfics I've seen of Caroline being her mother and being the "Mikaelson's light". I've said it a lot of times, but the Mikaelson wouldn't like Caroline at all: Rebekah and Hayley were constantly slutshamed by her, Elijah hates people who insult/hurt his family, Kol was literally killed by one of her best friends and he would not be okay with that, Finn couldn't care less and Freya probably just heard bad things from her, if she even knew about her existence. And in top of that, Caroline literally threw a party when she thought Klaus died.

When they have any Mikaelson or Klaus, especially Klaus, kill Hayley, I just lose it. Why the hell would Klaus ever do that? He literally lost his mind when she died, he was a mess and they don't even want to admit he loved Hayley: new flash, he did. She was his family, the mother of his daughter, probably his best and only friend and he loved her. Not in a romantic way, but they still get pressed because how dare Klaus have feelings for anyone other than their queen Caroline.

Also, their obsession with making Caroline be called queen? It's creepy and weird, it must be really annoying for them that Klaus only called Cami and Hayley a queen. Those two girls were a thousand times closer to be considered family by him than Caroline ever could, and his siblings did care for those women too.

This reminds me of a really good point in klaroline fics: if Caroline is the one pregnant with Hope, Klaus will react a lot better. I just can't see this, Klaus’s daddy issues are literally the main point of his character. He hated Mikael as much as he desired his love, he always yearned for one of his parents to care and no one did: Mikael, because he was a piece of shit, Esther, because she was terrified of her husband and there's literally no other reason in canon that explains why she allowed Mikael's abuse and Ansel, because he was forced to stay away and was killed twice. That isn't gonna change just because he got Caroline, sorry to tell you.

I can see him reacting less murderer and less threatening. Alkaline covers this so well and it's one of my favorite Klaus fanfics, if he has a romantic relationship with the woman he got pregnant he wouldn't tell the witches to kill her and their baby, but I do think he would still think at first she cheated, not only because of his paranoia but also because he is supposedly incapable of having kids.

The whole Lizzie and Josie thing is really a good point! I agree, Klaus would never favor the twins over Hope or even Marcel. Those are his kids, he raised them and he never met Josie and Lizzie until they were like what, twelve? Thirteen? He even said people needed to ask him permission to even talk to Hope, he would 100% hold a grudge against the Saltzman twins for being mean to his daughter. I also think that the whole "Klaus would like Lizzie more than Josie" is because physically and in terms of personality, Lizzie is the one that resembles Caroline the most. So when writers have him openly prefer Lizzie isn't only weird, it has some uncomfortable pedophilic vibes.

I've only seen klaroline and some klayley shippers say that about klope, how he would love x girl more than Hope and etc. I hardly doubt they even remember canon Klaus, just their fanfic version because if Klaus ever had to chose he would always chose his daughter. I've also seen, in a lot of fanfics, not only klaroline ones, how Klaus would love more or completely ignore his oc kid (they also have Hope he a complete bitch from the start, even if it's her seven years old version) and it's just strange. There are a lot of reasons why Klaus and Marcel didn't have a stable relationship, mainly all the bad blood between them and the fact that Marcel was already grown up by the time they met, but he never hesitated to put himself in danger for him. Klaus even refused to kill him, knowing he was endangering Hope. I just can't see him ignoring his kid, especially if he got to actually see him/her grow up.

This is not bashing to the writers btw! Sorry if it came out like that.

#anti klaroline #klaus mikaelson #caroline forbes #hope mikaelson #hayley marshall #lizzie saltzman #josie saltzman #marcel gerard #alaric saltzman #the originals #the vampire diaries #legacies #esther mikaelson #mikael mikaelson #elijah mikaelson #kol mikaelson #rebekah mikaelson #freya mikaelson #finn mikaelson

[soleilnomoon]

Prompt: “I don’t like them; I can barely tolerate them.” for Abarai Renji. Once again, I leave it up to you what you wanna do (but maybe enemies to lovers) Yes, I might be on a little Bleach binge right now but it's okay you like it. kiss kiss

*hides face* ok, ok, ok, hear me out, let's pretend i didn't take *insert accurate length of time here* and say i wrote this in a few days. i am so sorry i took forever and ever with this but as u know i can only give u top quality work or else i'll never forgive myself. renji is.......well *motions to him* yk how that man is, he made me suffer!!!! in a good way!!! but still i suffered!!! yk how much i love enemies 2 lovers u big brained beauty 🤭 so ty baby❤️️ also this is my first renji fic and i can't belev it.

5.2k words (don't look at me, just don't), fem reader, nsfw, 18+ mdni, enemies 2 lovers, angst city, angst angst city biiiitch (yk the vibez babey), smut obviously, no fluff bc who do u think i am? feat. renji being a mean petty bitch (i guess that makes him a mean dom maybe yes), sub reader bc that's what i want; there's a party with alcohol, ichigo and co. make brief appearances, bathroom sex, choking (he's sf romantic), a lot of cursing bc they're grown that's why, renji is a beast when he's jealous, reader is a lil bit of a brat but lbr who wouldn't be in that situation; mutual ""unrequited"" pining, lots of tension, fingering, rough (consensual) sex, lil bit of degradation, lil bit of a size kink, lil bit of praise kink, idk there's probably more stuff but i'm so tired rn i can't think; um renji obviously comes w his own gd warning; reader is determined to not let this man win but, hello, it's renji he always comes out on top wink wink. (if u see spelling errors/mistakes no u didn't hottie)

“when i write about all of this it becomes its own kind of violence. / i retell the story as myth, as if it were my own body devoured.” — caitlin scarano & “so much of love is violence. the desire / to be split open, invaded, mangled / and made new.” — erin slaughter

HATRED X TASTES X SWEET

you’ve never been cut out for this line of work, but your insistence on eliminating all your shortcomings is commendable. brave, even. it’s something you don’t really think about unless you want to spend the night half-drunk, rambling about the things you should’ve done but never had the courage to do.

like telling a certain red-haired, bullheaded lieutenant that he’s the most ridiculous and excessively arrogant man you’ve ever come across. all in all, you’re pretty sure telling him off won’t phase him; nothing ever does, not really anyway.

at first you try politeness; your grandmother would be proud of how well you’ve learned to bite your tongue. it’s ungraceful, but you fake it well enough that others think your emotional maturity is far above theirs. little do they know, you actually have to literally bite your tongue; simply remaining silent isn’t easy for you anymore. so, when you bite, it’s with rage, months of unshed tears and accumulated spite; you bite your tongue so hard you bleed more every time.

your unsaid words bunch together — tiny soldiers determined to strike in unison without fail — and sit heavily in the back of your throat, ready to launch forward at your command.

but you never say them, and you choke more than once; an unbearable shame to carry with you as he continues to slash at your patience, thin ribbons cascading off you like confetti. you wonder if your anger will lead to your death— or if it’ll lead to his. you intend to keep all of that hidden, though, and keep reminding yourself that eventually he will tire from berating you, from talking to you as if you’re the most incompetent being in all of soul society, from looking at you like your very being disgusts him.

that’s what you tell yourself these days. you like to conveniently ignore the way his dark eyes linger on yours during meetings — you’ve noticed that people have taken to describing them as soulless, cold and critical, unimpressed at everything and anyone.

but you see him — all of him; the raw, feral, powerful and severe side that not many have the misfortune of knowing. they think they get the real version of renji whenever they deal with him, but they never do; you know that now. you doubt it’s even intentional on his part, or maybe — just maybe — he really does hate you.

to put it plainly, as you’ve told rukia and rangiku, the sixth division lieutenant has the biggest fucking chip on his shoulder. despite the walls he continues to put up to keep others from carving out a place for themselves in his life, despite the way his words roll around his mouth, clumsily coasting down the length of his tongue before they pierce the air around you with their toxicity — you’re tired of the way he purposely singles you out time and time again to point out your inadequacies without remorse.

abarai renji is also sick of dealing with you. whenever he thinks he’s found a means of scaring you off, you scurry right back more determined and more obnoxious than ever. which is rich, coming from him.

he claims you’re inconsequential, a nuisance — a pest, even — one that he intends to get rid of permanently. it’s harsh and he’s more than aware of that, but he finds that this is the most appropriate solution to his problem. he could easily ignore you; he could try to keep his comments to himself and try to be somewhat cordial whenever you cross paths. but he won’t. and he has no damn idea why.

“no, no come in, i have plenty of snacks for everyone.”

rukia’s voice is a constant in his life that he’ll always be thankful for. he watches her glide into the room, grinning at the friends she’s invited over, her laughter like soft bells that is easily recognizable even with all the conversation happening. when he feels his chest constrict, an uncomfortable, yet familiar warmth stretching over his skin, he decides to drink so that he can ignore the sensation and forget.

a feeble attempt, because he knows how this will all end — with him drunk off his ass in an even worse mood than he started.

mouth opening, renji prepares to tell rukia to get better sake, when rangiku leads you into the living room where he’s lounging comfortably. the bottle in his hand grows heavier by the second and suddenly he’s not very interested in drinking anymore. already, his foul mood from earlier returns, and every step you take only fuels his irritation; it bubbles underneath his skin, making him frown and grip the bottle tighter.

you don’t need to look at him to know that he’s glaring at you — he always is. rangiku feigns obliviousness as she encourages you to go make yourself comfortable while she fetches snacks with rukia. you stare at both of them, wide-eyed, confused — a pleading look sliding onto your face after a few moments, but they assure you both that they’ll be back shortly.

with a sigh you sit on the armchair adjacent to him, determined to just remain quiet in the hopes that he’ll just ignore you for once. sitting up straight, discomfort finds its way to the pit of your stomach, swirling around as you fidget with the bracelet around your wrist. his eyes watch your movements with an obsessiveness that startles him; there’s no reason why he should be interested in the shape of your fingers, there’s no reason why he should be interested in the way you keep brushing stray curls away from your face, and there’s no reason why he should be interested in possibly fucking you when he knows for a fact that he is absolutely uninterested in you.

his disinterest runs so deep it spoils the taste of the sake, but he takes another swig anyway. the alcohol burns as it travels swiftly down his throat, and it just so happens that you glance over at him — innocuous, an attempt to gauge his annoyance level — as his throat bobs and your mouth dries at the sight.

you turn your face away quickly, a traitorous flush crawling slowly along your skin, unjustly warming your cheeks. inhaling deeply, you do your best to will the blush away to no avail. where the hell are rukia and rangiku? surely it can’t take that long to grab snacks. you’re tempted to go find them, but you have a sinking feeling that it would turn you into a coward.

and you refuse to give that man any more ammo against you.

IT’S X (NOT) X YOU

what initially starts as a small get-together, quickly turns into a party; leave it to rangiku to liven things up, her laughter infectious and whimsical, flitting about like a persistent hummingbird as she encourages everyone to play drinking games with her. experience taught him better than to engage because despite his high tolerance, there’s really no beating rangiku when she’s on a roll.

but when you emphatically agree to play with the rest, fury rises in his chest; your audacity, it seems, knows no bounds — and, yes, he understands the hypocrisy in his critique. he just doesn’t care.

the games are every bit as simple and ridiculous as you thought they’d be, but as everyone seems to be in relatively good spirits, you play along. not normally competitive with things like this, you get into the swing of things when you win round after round.

cheers resound nearby at your success, but throughout the evening, you feel renji’s stare and do everything in your power to not give in and look back at him. a tough feat to say the least, as you are always acutely aware of his presence; and when you do happen to sneak another glance, his legs are spread and you curse under your breath for finding that attractive.

foolish, you chide, so fucking foolish.

renji sucks his teeth as he feels a heaviness in his head; groaning loudly he swirls around what little sake he has left in his glass before finishing it.

“you lose again,” rukia’s voice is soft and teasing, but he’s annoyed and can’t be bothered with talking to her right now. she pats his shoulder gingerly before standing up to head to the kitchen. his mind is a mess and he blames you for it completely.

“i don’t fucking care,” he says gruffly to her retreating figure, not bothering to elevate his voice as he’s sure she heard him. and he really doesn’t care; he’s trying to tell himself to calm down, but he can’t.

the fault completely lies with you — of course it does, everything you do agitates every cell in his body. the reason is simple, and he hates that he doesn’t want to admit it — he’s so undeniably attracted to you that it pisses him off. he takes in your appearance for the twelfth time that night, admiring the softness of your cheeks, the fullness of your lips, the way you seem entirely too animated as you laugh at someone’s lame joke — and yes, he can tell it’s not funny from how your laughter dies down after a few seconds.

if he had better sense, he’d stop looking at you, but he can’t now; he might blame the sake for this later.

the intensity behind his gaze is enough to bring an inextinguishable heat along your skin. it’s only unpleasant because it travels down to your lower abdomen and brings about an agonizing ache between your thighs. at first, you do the sensible thing and ignore it; but the longer he stares, the more you want to look over, until finally you can’t take it anymore.

“i’ll be back,” you mumble to the other guests, although you doubt they hear you with how rowdy everyone is being; the noise isn’t unwelcomed, the distraction serves to mask your footsteps when you scurry from the living room to the back corridor, turning corner after corner until you find the bathroom.

a coward — that’s what you are.

you barricade yourself in there without thinking, heart pounding loud enough to disorient you. after several long minutes, you splash water on your face and take a few deep breaths.

“i can’t believe i ran away,” your voice is so soft you barely hear the words — almost as if you’re still in disbelief over the entire situation. there’s something off about renji tonight; the tension between you was more palatable and tangible than normal.

even though you feigned nonchalance as best as you could, there were so many moments where you couldn’t help but watch him too. pitiful. absolutely pitiful. there’s no excuse for it, and yet you struggle to find one anyway.

as you look at your reflection in the mirror above the sink, you try to convince yourself to head back out there. sooner or later, people will realize that you’ve gone missing — and rangiku is nosy enough and like a bloodhound when she’s drunk. your time is incredibly limited now.

there’s no reason for you to continue to avoid the inevitable, so you sigh and give yourself a small pep talk before heading back outside.

TRUTH X OR X …

renji’s mood doesn’t improve at all; in fact, it worsens the moment ichigo sits right next to him. he’s not even sure why this sets him off, but even closing his eyes and counting backwards does nothing to keep him calm.

with slight difficulty, renji grits out, “what do you want?”

undeterred, ichigo stares at renji pointedly, voice steady as he says, “you could go after her, you know.”

again, renji sucks his teeth loudly, arms folded against his chest, right leg bouncing slightly as he taps his foot on the floor. punching ichigo would be pointless, and then rukia would get involved and he doesn’t have time to deal with the fallout from that so he keeps his hands to himself.

besides, his anger is obviously misdirected right now. he knows — he knows —but he doesn’t care, so he doesn’t mince his words when he responds with, “go after who?” through his peripheral, he can see ichigo’s patience has also reached its limit.

“you’re not that stupid, so stop acting like it.”

normally, renji would take the opportunity to mes s around and argue back and forth, but he might actually fight his friend if he doesn’t walk away. so, he does; abrupt and without looking back, footsteps heavy on the hardwood floor.

maybe he just needs to change his approach with you, maybe talking things out would work in his favor; or maybe he needs to fuck you hard enough to purge you from his mind.

he lies to himself when he considers the first option, because it’s the second option that drives him to walk a little faster, head full of impossible thoughts as he wonders just how far you’d let him go.

when renji finally finds you, you’re in the middle of rebuffing the advances of an unfamiliar guest — they’re drunk, handsy, and keep oscillating between giving you cheesy pick-up lines and berating you for rejecting them. but you stand firm, and your voice is relatively loud when you tell them, “for the last fucking time, go away.”

under normal circumstances, renji would let you handle this yourself; he has no desire to play prince charming or be a knight in shining armor. you’re more than capable, and he’s seen the way you fight and argue to defend yourself — but, it’s when they place a wandering hand on your hip that he loses sight of all of that.

a brief moment passes, where your blood boils as you contemplate how best to kick their ass, but you never get the chance. a rather large shadow hovers over you both, but you already know who it is without having to look properly.

renji is a force to be reckoned with on a good day, but he’s at his fucking limit right now.

he doesn’t ask, doesn’t give any options for retreat, doesn’t say a word when he yanks them off with a brute strength that surprises even you.

now, can he really be blamed for throwing them into the neighboring wall hard enough to make a noticeable hole? and is it really his fault that the drunk can hardly walk as they clutch their broken arm while murmuring something unintelligible, something that renji takes as a sign of them wanting a repeat demonstration?

consequences be damned, he gives the drunk a lethal look before they scramble away in fear.

“loser,” he says loud enough for them to hear, but they don’t double back or even try to go toe-to-toe with the hot-headed lieutenant. you watch, half-amused and half-impressed with the unnecessary machismo, but still, you know better than to chastise him right now, especially when your heart sputters out of control from his proximity.

“…thanks,” you say, a faint flush on your cheeks, voice soft, head fuzzy when you realize that renji — aka mr. “i’ll fight you on everything any day of the week unprovoked for no reason other than to drive you crazy” — saved you. unprompted at that.

you make the mistake of looking up at him, your nerves prompting you to take a small step back when you realize that the usual hostility that renji reserves for you specifically is nowhere to be found. in its place is something more unreadable — or, rather, you don’t want to read into it for fear of being wrong.

renji steps closer, which makes you back up again until your back hits the wall and you’re no longer able to escape.

“we need to talk,” he says suddenly, but you shake your head, non-verbally objecting to the idea, curls bouncing wildly with your exaggerated movements. since he knows he’s pressed for time, he grabs your face with his large hand and stops you from moving. “that wasn’t a request.”

swallowing rusty nails would be better than dealing with your conflicting feelings over renji right now, because he’s much too close to you and now you’re forgetting why it is you hate him in the first place. ironically, he’s in the exact same position. so far, he’s acted on impulse over you more times than he can count tonight, but he supposes that’s to be expected — you are a wildcard, after all.

“what if i don’t want to.” your response is clumsy, the words tumbling one after the other. “what if i want you to leave?” you don’t actually mean that, but you throw it at him anyway, to see if maybe this was all a fluke, and maybe, just maybe he’ll remember himself and you both can go back to fighting like usual.

he considers your question, goes so far as to release your face to wrap his hand around your throat instead. your sharp inhale and parted lips tell him all he needs to know.

with a slightly raised brow, he asks, “well, do you?”

because if you do, he’ll walk away right now. but he knows what your answer will be, he just has to drag it out of you. he squeezes your neck to remind you to hurry it up, and before you can answer him properly, he places his leg in between yours, pressing close enough that you roll your hips forward while whimpering softly.

he really didn’t think any of this through, but luckily the adrenaline from it all won’t wear off anytime soon, so he’ll improvise along the way. he spent most of the night dealing with a semi-hard cock that wouldn’t listen to reason no matter how many times he tried to stop thinking about you. but now? all of that restraint goes out of the window, and before he can question it, he kisses you.

you’ve kissed plenty of people in your life — some good, most were mediocre and uninspiring — but renji actually takes your breath away. everything about him commands all your attention; from the way his lips move against yours greedily, leaving behind burning kisses that make your nipples harden underneath your clothes — to the way he thrusts his tongue in between your plush lips, licking inside of your mouth hotly, igniting an inextinguishable flame deep inside of you.

he grabs your hip with his free hand, squeezing hard, fingers digging firmly. all the irritation from earlier dissipates completely, leaving you feeling lightheaded and needy; you grind against him recklessly, arousal dampening the front of your panties, clit sensitive as it rubs against the delicate fabric. his cock presses against you — thick, long, and hard — and you wonder if this is why he’s so angry with you all the time.

was it always that simple?

if you asked the question aloud, he wouldn’t know what to tell you — it’s a combination of things, but mostly he’s an idiot; he knows that now, but likewise you’re an idiot too. you just don’t realize it yet.

it’s renji who pulls away first, lightly panting, breath warm against your lips as he releases his hold on your neck. he doesn’t know where he finds the strength to string together a coherent statement, but his voice is low and husky when he speaks. “answer my question.”

you blink at him, completely in a daze, lips slightly swollen from all the kissing. “wh-what?” you don’t remember what he asked you, and you don’t care.

“do you want me to leave?”

for some reason, you completely forgot that you told him that. you rub your lips together and run your hands along his chest. “no.” the answer comes out automatically, without hesitation, and that’s all the encouragement he needs.

“good.”

SAY X IT X LOUDER

he picks you up with ease, almost as if you weigh nothing; a small squeal spills out of you as you wrap your legs around his waist, and renji gives you a sly smile — one laced with mischief and an unspoken promise of what’s to come.

you’re back in the bathroom again, this time sitting on the counter with renji standing in between your legs. his hands coast along your curvy hips and down your thighs. he’s touching you but he’s not touching you and it’s driving you crazy.

with hurried, eager hands you both undress, and for the umpteenth time you internally curse this style of uniform; still, it doesn’t take too long before his hands are on you again, calloused palms rough and warm against your skin. he places a kiss on your jaw, then another on your neck right underneath your earlobe; each kiss he leaves behind distorts your common sense, makes you feel irrational and impatient. your hands are soft and well-practiced, stroking his stiff cock as his hips jerk forward from your touch.

he can’t remember the last time someone had him this worked up, which pisses him off a little; because that means him fucking you once won’t settle things. at that thought, renji bites your neck and your startled yelp quickly morphs into a moan when he runs his tongue along the mark. he dips his hand in between your thighs, rubbing his thick fingers against your slit. a loud banging on the door has you looking over, and you can’t remember if he bothered to lock it once you both were inside.

your attention nearly falters, but when he pinches your clit you buck your hips, a shiver shooting down your spine at the slight pain.

“eyes on me,” is all he says, seemingly annoyed that you would dare to focus your attention elsewhere, “always keep them on me.” what he means by that, he doesn’t know, but you take the command at face value and nod while swallowing. he slides a finger inside of your wet pussy, and while you initially wanted to keep quiet to avoid suspicion and to prevent anyone from intruding, but you can’t now.

“renji,” you breathe, fingers trembling as you hold onto the counter for support, he thrusts his finger in and out, quick and hard, before inserting another. you clench around him, hips rocking forward as he fingerfucks you and grinds his palm against your clit. you close your eyes and moan louder than you mean to, chest heaving, thoughts jumbled and incoherent. he scissors his fingers inside of you, but quickly removes them without prompting.

“fuck!” you open your eyes again and stare at him in disbelief. “why did you stop?”

he laughs darkly and grabs your face roughly, fingers pressing into your soft skin without remorse. “what did i tell you earlier?” everything about this situation is laughable. he gave you very specific instructions, ones he thought were easy enough for you to follow. for some reason your movements are sluggish, mind in a haze as you scramble to remember but nothing comes to mind.

as you open and close your mouth, looking every bit as adorable as you are alluring, he decides to show you a bit of kindness.

“get down.” his command comes swift, his patience practically nonexistent; precum glides down the head of his thick cock, but he ignores it for the sake of teaching you a lesson. you don’t bother waiting for him to repeat himself and slide off the counter. “turn around.”

like a doll, your movements are dictated by renji with simple, short statements. nothing about that phases you, though; it’s all very exciting, so when you do turn to face the counter, you bend forward and lean over the counter. renji admires the roundness of your ass and slaps it hard.

again, you find yourself moaning loudly, without shame and not caring about the volume of your voice. surely the others won’t pay attention, as they’re still very drunk and are entertaining themselves with more games. another slap on your ass has you grabbing onto the counter again, legs shaking, arousal dripping between your thighs in anticipation. if renji doesn’t fuck you soon, you might actually die.

he knows he’s taking too damn long, but it’s much more interesting making you work for him. he rubs the tip of his cock against your puffy pussy, gliding it in between your slick folds, your moans sweetly wrapping around him once he pushes inside of you slowly. someone bangs on the door again, making you look over, anxiety quickly filling your head with unnecessary what ifs that almost command your full attention.

with narrowed eyes, renji grabs onto your hair, curls soft in his hand, and yanks hard.

“the fuck did i say earlier?”

goosebumps travel down your arms as a different kind of awareness and clarity surges through you quickly. you blink at your reflection, watching the way he towers over you, his muscles hard and defined — sculpted from years of training and dedication to honing his skills. it hits you then, what he’s really asking you.

“to,” you swallow thickly, throat dry, “to keep my eyes on you always.” you say it all in one breath, gasping when he runs his tongue along the curve of your ear. you don’t know how much more you can take, but you know if you complain, if you say anything he might stop altogether.

renji’s smile is wicked and dark, his lips graze your earlobe, voice deep and gravelly, a huskiness that wasn’t there before as he thrusts into you, burying his cock deeply.

“good girl.”

he refrains from kissing you properly, instead pushing you down so you can lean over the counter again. your mind melts from it all, and you’re panting, heart beating faster and faster as he firmly places a hand on your back.

“you’re squeezing me so tight,” he remarks thoughtfully, although you note the slight strain in his voice; as much as he tries to act like he’s not that affected by you, you know that isn’t the case at all. your pussy is every bit as enticing and heavenly as he knew it would be; he pulls back and slams his cock into you all over again, filling you completely. you try to keep watching him in the mirror, but he’s fucking you like he’s angry with himself for being so attracted to you.

and he absolutely is. it’s a truth he fought against for so long that he’s given up on denying it now. your moans drip onto his skin like caramel, sticky and sweet, and when you say his name like that — your voice going higher and higher from the ferocity of his thrusts — he nearly loses his mind.

“fuck,” he says out loud, grabbing your hip roughly, your wetness coating the length of his cock, “you’re taking me so well.” he knows you can’t really answer him, and he likes that; you’re beyond caring at this point, instead focusing on the way his cock reaches a spot that has you bouncing your ass and fucking yourself against him. normally, renji would play around and edge you in retaliation, but he’s too far gone, completely under the spell of your pretty pussy, with how soft and tight it is.

you’re not sure how you got here, but you’re drowning in ecstasy right now. he instructs you to lift your leg to rest it onto the counter, pulling out momentarily to help you position and spread your legs further apart. he plunges his cock into you again, keeping his hips closer as he gives you shorter, frenzied thrusts. your head spins and you can’t think straight, but that doesn’t matter. all you care about is the way renji is angling his hips, rolling them forward to pound into your cunt roughly, balls heavy as they smack against your ass.

“oh, oh, oh.” you swear your life flashes before your eyes, because something possesses him, his strokes shorter, brutal, and frenetic. drool slides down your chin, your voice hoarse from how loud you’ve been. you’re sure someone’s heard you by now, but you don’t care.

how can you?

with renji fucking you like this — merciless and possessive, fingers brusing your skin, almost as if he wants to make sure you’ll be as obsessed with him as he is with you — your common decency, your morals, everything that makes you you, they don’t exist.

all that’s left is this burning desire to let him have his way with you for as long as he wants. thankfully, you have enough sense to not admit that out loud; who knows what kind smugness you’ll be subjected to if renji knew.

but you’re pretty damn transparent about it, he can tell from the way you can’t stop clenching your pussy around his cock, from how your pussy makes loud, lewd squelching noises — ones that he’ll commit to memory so he can revisit them from time to time.

tears roll down your cheeks and you sob as you hold onto the counter as best as you can, back arching, hips rocking against him with a neediness you never knew you had. there’s a tightening in your stomach and your pulse skyrocketing as a flash of white practically blinds you. he watches the way your pussy keeps swallowing the length of his cock, and you finally fall over the edge, orgasm suffocating you with its intensity.

your cunt flutters around him, gummy walls soft and hypnotic, an addiction he never thought he’d have; breathing heavily, his muscles tense and renji groans something that suspiciously sounds like your name. the thought alone makes your face burn and warms your chest in a way that doesn’t make sense. and when he finally cums, he humps into you, cum thick and hot as it spills inside your pussy, mixing with your slick wetness. a completely messy affair, but he doesn’t care — it’s not his bathroom, after all.

legs trembling, you’re limp and incapable of movement, whimpering and whining until he finally pulls out of you.

renji runs a hand down his face, feeling spent but more than satisfied. suddenly his shoulders aren’t so tight and tense, and his mood is much more tolerable. you do your best to stand but almost fall — your legs are useless, turned to jelly because of the man behind you. he chuckles at that, then clears his throat once he realizes. he fully expected there to be a moment of awkwardness after, but it never comes. when he sees your face — lips bruised and swollen, face flushed, eyes glazed with a faraway look — he feels compelled to kiss you again. so, he does. it’s not sweet, nor is it tender, but it still makes your heart swell all the same. he holds you close as you wrap your arms around his neck, doing your best to keep standing, even though your legs are ready to give out.

you don’t know exactly what any of this means, but you do understand him a bit better now. he’s terrible with expressing himself, but you kind of like that about him; and maybe this isn’t the healthiest relationship, but life was uncertain and you’d take renji fucking you like it’s his last day alive over him openly hating you any day.

#it is done!!!! finally!!! i survived sora #fic request #bleach angst #bleach smut #bleach x reader #bleach x y/n #abarai renji x reader #abarai renji x y/n #abarai renji angst #abarai renji smut #renji x reader #renji x y/n #renji smut #renji angst #‘i can change him’ 🥴 #pls no i can't be SERIOUS #y/n continues to be braver than any u.s. marine #y/n sippin that clown girl juice over this man and ykw? me too. #my man my man my man ✧ 𓂃𓄹՞ഒ #anyway ily sora i had fun writing this i hope u have fun aka suffer reading

[lovekaikim]

What type of Yandere's WayV(OT7) would be?

(Yes I am doing ot7 cuz I love Lucas too much to let him go)

(Also this is Male Reader, so ladies, please find something else, and if you're sapphic ladies, check out some of my other works)

Kun - The Protective Yandere

He's probably the most lenient(apart from Lucas and Yangyang), only wanting to protect you. Kun would feel like the only punishment he could give you was no candy and no junk food for a week. Yeah, he's more of an annoying parent than a Yandere.

"Honey! No! We're not getting Animal Crossing New Horizons yet! I know you're bored, but we can still play New Leaf. Deal?"

Ten - The Petty Yandere(yes, petty)

He's a bitch, lets be real. If yoy looked at someone for too long, he'd accuse you of cheating. You'd get sick at it, and so everytime he does something petty, you'd have a resting bitch face.

Ten: "I don't care if you like Louis!(1D) You're mine! Mine!"

You: "Ffs...he's just my favorite member!"

Yeah, you're basically an old married couple.

Winwin - The Sadistic Yandere

This motherfucker is a psychopath! He's degrading you, and he punishes you REALLY SEVERELY. He's making fun of you, and basically being a total asshole.

"You're just a pathetic little slut for me to fuck with. You're MY fucking slut. MINE."

Lucas ‐ The Tsundere Yandere

He'd always try to make you think he didn't like you to put you off the scent - even though you liked him back. Lucas can be a bit harsh, but just know that he's actually a soft boi inside.

Tsundere Lucas: "W-what do you mean you wanna watch Friday the 13th with me? T-that's a horror film, you imbicile."

You: "But I can't watch it without you! You'll keep me safe! If you actually cared..." *you start crying*

Yandere Lucas: Oh I'm so sorry! I'll watch anything to protect my love!"

Xiaojun - The Quiet Yandere

I can barely say anything about this guy. He wants you. Thats all that matters. His marks on you tell people everything. You're. His.

"Mine..."

Hendery - The Awkward Yandere

I know, this is a Yandere headcannon. But - I gotta stay true to Hendery's character.

He wouldn't know what to do.

So in the end, you'd be tied up, and he's sheepishly smiling at you.

"I can explain my actions..."

Yangyang - The Sweet Yandere

Okay, you can't stay mad at Yangyang!

He knows that you'd wanna start things slow before starting the relationship, so thats what he does. Soon, he gains your trust. Not wanting to break it, he doesn't say anything about kidnappings and stuff.

Also, if you don't wanna be in a relationship with him - either due to you finding out his weird side or you finding someone else - he'll understand. He'll support you no matter what. He'd gladly watch from the sidelines.

And if your new partner mistreats you...well. Good luck explaining that to him.

(If you end up with someone else)

"You're not in a good relationship! They are taking advantage of your trust and then cheating on you! You deserve someone better!"

(If you end up with him)

*loves wrapping his arms around you* "I oove you, M/N..." *sleepy baby, you can't help but smile*

#yandere #wayv #kun #ten #winwin #lucas #xiaojun #hendery #yangyang #kpop #tsundere

[oceanlue]

If you are comfortable with this but the boys when they get into a argument with thier s/o

⚠️ mentions of being hurt and scared you have been warned

Argument with him 💧💔

💗Alphonse🧁🍭

The argument you guys would probably have is something not too heated but not to nice

You guys argue about the littlest things sometimes and it turns into a laughing match after but this time it was a bit more serious

You guys were so heated in the argument that he said something that he would never want to say ever in his life to you

After you guys froze and he realized what he said you both needed time to cool off

"Hay boo,... look I'm sorry I said that and I'm just frustrated but I know that won't make a difference how I've been acting and I want to tell you if I ever say anything like that again I want you to smack me across the face you don't deserve what I just said I'm sorry"

He loves you and he doesn't want you to go unlike someone in his past

So you guys calm down and talk it out and sit down for some movies and snacks just time for you to

🧡Seth 🏕 🍂

Often you guys get into arguments but this time it's a little bit more heated than last

You guys were arguing how assessed to just take a break once in awhile and stop over fussing about his bike and try to relax and calm down

But once you said that he flipped saying how it's his bike and he can do whatever he wants and now you two are in a heated argument back and forth throwing insults

It got too heated and you were starting to get scared until Seth grabbed your wrist so tight that made you cry and it hurt

Seth realize what you did and he instantly regretted it

He saw how it was slowly turning to a bruise and he cursed himself saying how could I have done that

"Oh...no no no. Sugar.. I..wha....I'm sorry . I am so sorry I didn't mean to hurt you sugar and I I I'm just sorry.... I don't know what got over me ...I am so sorry that ....I did this to you I know saying sorry won't fix it but ...I just need to say sorry. I did to you was unforgivable of me I hurt you and that was not what I wanted to do to you sorry sugar"

That helped you wrap bandages around your wrist and you two decided it was best for you two just to have a night of just the two of you

Out near your bonfire that you made just looking at the stars just do with him roasting marshmallows and while he's still apologizing and meanwhile you said it was fine he didn't mean to for it to happen

💚Finn🌻🪴

You guys don't get into arguing so much because he's a little innocent baby he wouldn't want to argue plus he can't really hold up a fight to save his life

But this time things are a little different you two were arguing over what kind of flowers they need for this order and things got a little too heated up and Finn was tired exhausted and not in the mood to talk

He actually yelled at you to shut up

And he actually glared at you with anger if it weren't for the tension in the air you would have found it hot

But he realized what he did and took a moment to reflect and went to the other room for a minute came back out with tears and.....

"I'm sorry Orchid.....I didn't mean to yell at you I never wanted to I'm just so stressed and tired ....I say things that I don't mean I'm sorry orchid so terribly sorry"

Of course you forgave him because you loved him and he didn't mean to so this night you guys just focused on each other while making sure Finn got some much needed rest and you took over his shift for the next two days for him to get some rest and sometime for himself

Cuz u love him

❤Auron⌚☕

You guys wobble quite a lot since he is your boss but when outside of work he is just auron your man

You guys just Petty arguments once in awhile maybe some disagreements and some turning backs and just straight up teasing you at another but this time it was a little bit different

Aaron got so fed up with your constant bitching that he yelled at you so loud that it kind of shook the house not really but it's a metaphor

He was so loud that you had to cover your ears

After a moment of silence he realized what he did he was so scared that you would leave him because you didn't want to have any further actions that he did that scared you

Until you felt something warm hugging him you were hugging him after he just yelled at you someone he cared deeply for and trusted that he yelled at cuz he was angry he was turning into something he did not want to turn into

" I know saying sorry won't help anything Rook but if it makes it better I'm sorry I yelled at you and I hope this doesn't cause anything between you and me that will destroy the thing we have I don't want you to leave me please just stay. I'm sorry"

After a little bit of reassuring and making sure he was okay you two sat down and talked it out with each other while also him apologizing over and over again and meanwhile you said he was fine and you're not going to leave him because like you and him you loved him

And he loves you

--------------

Hope you like

Peace out

💙💙💙

#yuurivoice #yuurivoice auron #oceanlue #spotify #yuurivoice finn #yuurivoice seth #yuurivoice alphonse

[bakerstmel]

Fall Favorite Fic Festival, Entry 5

Remember, winter doesn't officially begin until December 21, she said pedantically.

I've delayed writing this entry because I was trying to define the reason (or reasons) why I love this fic so damn much. I read this fic at least twice a year, usually sometime in February and then again in the fall. It's a sports fic, and while I am not in general a sports person, I do love me some baseball. But the sport isn't the reason I love this fic, and I think I may have figured it out. Stick with me.

I started the link at Chapter 2, because Chapter 1 is a guide to baseball for the uninitiated. Some of it is out of date now, because MLB in its STUPIDITY has messed around with the rules this year because GOD FORBID people have to wait longer than a minute for anything to fucking happen on a sports field, and of course only HITS matter, but it is still fun to read. You don't need it to appreciate the fic, though.

Whilst I was processing this fic, I spent some time thinking about sports fics in general, and that led me to reread a couple of other favorites. One was A Study in Winning, by Jupiter_Ash. I really like that fic as well, even though I know next to nothing about tennis. I like the drama of the story, I like Sherlock faking his nationality just because, and I enjoy John being a petty little bitch to Moriarty there at the end. I feel like there for a while everyone had read or was reading that fic. Another one I went back to was Of Ice and Men, by SinceWhenDoYouCallMe_John, which is an OT3 set during the Winter Olympics. That one has John in the Paralympics, which gives the relationships an entirely new dimension. There are other good sports fics - throw your favorite in the comments, if you like. I'm mostly limiting my scope in these musings to Sherlock, as I've said before, but I'll read anything if it's good. Links to these two fics are below.

One of the ways in which sports fics have an advantage is that they have a built in structure. There's a match, or a tournament, or a season, and the relationship drama plays out against that backdrop. Writing classes always talk about the "ticking clock" approach to narrative tension, and almost every sport has some type of literal ticking clock. The Bang and the Clatter plays out over a full baseball season, including Spring Training and the postseason. That's basically a year minus the main American holidays, and EarlGreyTea does a really good job of letting the story play out at an appropriate pace. That's very impressive considering that she was posting this as a WIP over the course of an actual season.

(I need to take a minute to talk about my issues with EGT, and by "issues" I mean "soul churning jealousy." EGT is ridiculously prolific. If you go back into the fandom annals and look at the timing of some of her biggest fics, she was posting what became major reference points for the fandom in tandem, writing multiple fics at the same damn time, while, you know, teaching law or moving cross country. She is the best example I know of the importance of writing regularly. Of course, she's incredibly gifted, highly skilled at plotting, characterization, pacing, and just words. She has a fabulous imagination. Her dialogue rings true, and it's fun. But she can turn really good stuff out relatively quickly because she's limber AF. She writes. Anyone who comes to Word Sprints on Sundays or just hangs with me writing knows I'm not fast. I'm lucky to break 100 words in 15 minutes. Part of that is that I edit as I go, but it's also that I don't write as often as I would like to, so it takes me some time to warm up. I would like to be more like EGT, which probably sounds kind of creepy. I hope she doesn't see this. Anyway, she's written many of my top 20, and she actually finishes her stuff. So, yeah. Issues.)

So here is where I ended up: this is a good AU that takes advantage of the time crunch of the sport in which it is set, but that is not why I read it 2+ times per year. I read it because this is one of my favorite John and Sherlock relationships ever. It feels so in character for the way we see them in the show (at least through S2; this was written in 2013). We see them meet, we feel their attraction, we feel Sherlock's very authentic confusion. We feel their fear at being caught out, at first by each other and then by the world. They earn their angst. The way to my heart is good characterization, and this has that. Alongside the battery, the OCs (especially Sherlock and John's families) are complex and have issues of their own. Moriarty doesn't show up until the All Star Workout, which is halfway through the season for those of you who don't know, but it works because by that point, John and Sherlock have things to lose. Lestrade is the best effing choice for a beleaguered, exasperated baseball manager there ever was. Mycroft saves the day AND fucks it up, which I wish we'd seen more of in those days.

Also, John and Sherlock never get too far away from each other, and when they're separated, it's usually for narrative reasons. I like that in a fic, I've come to realize. I like to watch the characters' interplay. It's hard for Sherlock to keep secrets from John when they work together, commute together, and live together, and John is no fool. Their office isn't 221b Baker Street, it's a stadium in Austin, TX, where shit plays out in front of 30k people. John loves baseball. Sherlock loves John. They fight, they fall in love, they eat Chinese food, and they play baseball. And best of all, they are themselves together.

If you read the parts that EGT wrote after the big story, there's a mention of Sherlock pulling together a pick up game in London made of American ex-pats for John's sake, and I'll tell you what. That really pulls this fic together for me. This Sherlock would do that for this John, and we end up a little on the outside looking in, and it's just charming as fuck.

In conclusion, read this even if you don't know baseball, if you want great characterization, a chance to be reminded of how beautiful John and Sherlock were together back in the golden age. Pay attention to the ticking clocks in your favorite fics; intentional or not, there's almost always some time pressure ginning up the conflict. If you're a writer, the best way to get better is to write more. Feels like bullshit, but it's true. And finally, fuck MLB forever for going the completely wrong way on the DH. Pitchers in both leagues should have to/get to hit, and more to the point, DHs should have to fucking do something when their teams are out in the field. I will die on this mound.

(Also, if I'm being honest, Bull Durham is probably my favorite movie, so maybe I'm more of a baseball fan than I'm letting on. I do generally love baseball in popular media. But I still think it's the characterization.)

#fall favorite fic festival #FFFF5 #The Bang and the Clatter #EarlGreyTea68 #A Study in Winning #Jupiter_Ash #Of Ice and Men #sincewhendoyoucallme john

[still-a-morosexual-help]

Are we still on the topic of Solomon & Lucifer's dynamic because I'd been wondering something and thought I'd ask you?

have you wondered if a part of the reason why Lucifer doesn't want to make a pact with Solomon could be because Solomon straight up refuses to make one with Mammon?

I mean, if a sorcerer who makes pacts with 1001 demons thinks he's too good to have one with MY favorite son brother, I'd be petty too lol

(yeah, his pact his right to choose the demon and all but no need to go around saying out loud "I don't want a pact with that demon 💅" amirite)

As sweet as the sentiment is, I'm gonna say it was definitely not the reason

~heavy S3 spoilers~

It's established pretty early on that Lucifer has a lot of issues with control and is actually very paranoid about his family's safety (most of this seems to stem from the whole thing with Lilith and the Celestial Realm, and we actually get to see him work through a lot of them throughout the seasons. I've made long posts about this with screenshots but I don't have enough data to scroll & find them)

Making a pact means giving the human the ability to control you. All 6 of Lucifer's brothers could have happily made pacts with Solomon and I still don't think Lucifer would have.

Hell, Lucifer wasn't happy about MC making pacts with his brothers either. While in the end he didn't try to stop them from making pacts with MC (their pact their right to choose it seems) he was never very thrilled with it either. (vaguely remember him threatening them right before they made a pact with Asmo).

Lucifer made a pact with MC after 1 year of living with them. By this point he knew them and clearly cared for and trusted them. As far as they knew MC didn't have any magic at this point and couldn't really use the pacts either (with the exception of the time Solomon let them borrow some of his magic). MC was also (as far as they consciously knew) some random ass human, with Lilith being their only previous supernatural connection. He still made a point to tell MC that having a pact didn't mean they were in control of him and if anything he was the one in charge.

So when you compare that to Solomon:

He was a powerful Sorcerer. He would have known how to easily control Lucifer if they made a pact.

Solomon himself admitted that he only started seeing demons as something more than just pawns after meeting MC.

Solomon had previous connections to Michael/ Michael had a great interest in Solomon (Michael who was presumably involved in sentencing Lilith to be executed & who fought the brothers which lead to them Falling)

Lucifer had never met Solomon before S1 (as established in one of the Devilgrams) and didn't spend much time with him during season 1, he would have no real reason to care for or trust him

Solomon made his pact with Asmo by getting him blackout drunk while Asmo was upset about a woman he liked rejecting him. Asmo himself admitted that Solomon probably knew who he was and made a pact with him to get to Lucifer. I can only imagine that Lucifer was livid at the time, specially considering what happened to his last sibling who got involved with a human.

+ As much as it's obvious that Lucifer does care about Mammon, that he is his favourite, that he actually tends to spoil him rotten and that he was happy that one time Mammon slipped and called him 'dad' , he's also never had a problem with hurting Mammon or bruising his pride (remember that time he told Mammon the only demon who actually cared about him/liked him was Diavolo? Yeah. Hurt like a bitch)

I also don't think Mammon would be willing to make a pact with Solomon, even if the offer was up:

In S3, he told MC that he didn't make pacts with just random humans.

But MC was just a random human when they made a pact, right?

Except in S3, MC travels to the past, meets them as angels, fits in instantly with the family, encourages them all to give in to their sins, has a lot of moments with Mammon (Mammon notes on two different occasions that they tend to stare at him but he also admits to liking them) and leaves. Michael (?) says that though the brothers will forget them, the impact that MC made would carry on. After MC leaves, it's shown that angel! Asmo (and Lucifer? And presumably all the others) vaguely remember MC/has dreams about them. With this context, it really explains how quickly they warmed up to MC in S1. (Which is hilarious when you think about it because, MC only fit in so easily with their angelic family because they had a couple years of experience being a part of their present day family. But the present day family may have accepted them so easily all the way back in S1 because they subconsciously remembered MC fitting in with their angelic selves)

Before MC & Mammon made the pact it was established that Mammon was the fastest of the brothers and that he could easily overpower Levi even while half asleep. Meaning, he could have easily taken Goldie back from them without having to make a pact.

In other words, it really does make much more sense if subconsciously MC wasn't a random human to Mammon and if he made a pact with the person who (when he was an angel) laughed at his pranks (that no one else found funny) and encouraged his dreams (that no one else believed in) and constantly looked at him in a way that made him blush. Specially because it's been established that it's MC's kindness and acceptance towards him that made him fall for them in the first place.

tldr;

Lucifer didn't make a pact with Solomon because he'd never give Solomon that kind of power over him

Mammon wouldn't make a pact with Solomon because he said he didn't make pacts with random humans and S3's time travel shenanigans mean that Mammon's had a crush on MC for an insanely long time

Anyway, here's some shameless self promotion:

Want to read all of this but condensed into a semi-crack fic? Try,

Tap on Wood (for fuck's sake)

Lucifer (the absolutely perfect, always a hundred percent in the right oldest) has three different conversations while (definitely not) stone cold sober with the bane of his existence (the light of his life (the bane of his existence (the light of his -

Mammon's just trying his best.

#obey me spoilers #obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me! #shall we date? obey me! #swd obey me #obey me mammon #om! mammon #swd mammon #obey me lucifer #om! lucifer #swd lucifer #obey me solomon #om! solomon #swd solomon #mammon x mc #mc x mammon #shall we date mammon #shall we date solomon #shall we date lucifer #obey me! mammon #obey me! lucifer #obey me! solomon #om mammon #om lucifer #om solomon #mammon x reader #reader x mammon #mammon x oc #obey me season 3

[andypantsx3]

Hi Andie!

I've been on tumblr for a while now (though still a newbie compared to others) and I think you're the most logical, unyielding creator who isn't afraid to speak your mind and be yourself.

In this month alone, 3 of my favourite creators have talked about the discourse on their blogs (hate from other writers, drama, death threats even) and the prospect of archiving/deactivating, 2 of which have already done so. Many creators have also talked about how tumblr is different from before and from what I see, some people on this app can get really petty, hostile, insensitive and straight up delusional. I initially joined this app because of all the fics and thirsts, but knowing the nature of some people here makes me disappointed.

With all this negativity swirling around, I was just wondering, how do you handle any hate you receive?

p.s. can't wait for updates on sitw!

Hello my love! I'm sorry to hear you also feel like the vibes are off!! I think we've all sort of been feeling this way lately, and I know it's all made especially unmanageable by the dark cultural moment we're in. This is supposed to be a fun, safe, collaborative space, and instead many of the writers I know are being plagiarized left and right, receiving totally batshit anons, or going on hiatus because of burn out.

And I appreciate you saying that I speak my mind, because I do on occasion. But honestly barely a fraction of the things I feel make their way onto the dash because I try to keep the vibes fun here. I'm still sort of formulating my own ideas on how I think we as a community can collectively deal with the bad vibes on here, but I think it's a spicier take and I want to take the time to get it right before I say anything, if I say it at all. Because it might not be worth it in the end, and it might just be better to keep trying my best to add fun to the space instead!! But we will see!!

As for how to deal with individual hate, I really do think it's up to the individual what their comfort level is in addressing the things that come their way. For me, there are two types of mean messages I think you can get: people out to take their own issues out on you, and people who express themselves badly but have a genuine question or concern. And to me, I think possibly those messages are worth addressing in separate ways.

For the first type, my main m.o. is basically just to delete and block anything I get. For every anon you have seen me address, there's probably ten times that amount with far meaner messages that I've just blocked, deleted, and then bitched about in the group chat lol. In cases where they've made it obvious they are another writer or at least associated with another writer, I will also go block that writer. I think it's important to protect your individual space from people who don't mean you well, and it's honestly usually not worth giving them your energy. Because their end goal is just to upset you, not to express any sort of genuine concern, and any energy you direct into that is just feeding into what they want. So in my opinion the best way to stop this particular type of anon in their tracks is to just ignore them.

The anons I usually end up addressing publicly are those that I think have phrased things badly but might actually mean to ask a genuine question or express an authentic concern. Those to me are possibly worth the time spent digging into their concerns, although to be honest this can be exhausting as well because people can be extremely caught up in their own feelings and get incredibly nasty. I wish this wasn't such a common method of interaction these days, but it is what it is.

If you can stomach it, I think addressing these sorts of questions can help you learn about things you yourself have done badly (see: that time I utilized common smut phrases to try to clarify an ask and ended up sounding like I was making fun of smut writers :/) or help the anon understand where you are coming from if they feel you're on the opposite side of a particular issue. It doesn't always end positively but it has for me more than once, and I think it's worth it in the interest of fostering a patient and good-faith culture of interaction on your blog. I think it can also help prevent such interactions in the future if people come to understand you are trying to be open and trying your best.

Anyway that's what I think is best done on an individual level. Unfortunately, I think real, wide-spread change is going to have to come from a collective mindset shift but again I'm not ready to address that in full. I don't even know if it's possible because I think a lot of the issues we see in the community are direct results of hyper-competitive, materialistic, individualistic capitalist culture seeping down into the fandom. But I'll think on it more and maybe share my thoughts if I think they're worth it after some careful consideration.

In the meantime I am forcefully beaming you good vibes in hopes that they mitigate some of the crap we've seen on here recently!! I am manifesting a nice, calm, healing weekend for you and everyone who reads this!!!!! ❤️✨🌴

#ask andie

[transrevolutions]

whats your opinion on trotskyism and leon trotsky himself?

of all the leninist-derived leftist ideologies, trotskyism is probably the one I find most ideologically sound. I've connected with trotskyists in the past and will continue to work with them in order to promote shared goals. I wouldn't call myself a trotskyist by any means, but I think trotsky did have some good things to say, (hidden within the endless bitching that often characterized his writing) specifically about fascism and its connection to the decay of capitalism. I'm of the opinion that even if one doesn't fully agree with the specific ideologies and actions of a prominent leftist figure, one can still appreciate contributions they've made to the theory and practice of revolutionary action.

I like trotsky's political stances somewhat more than lenin's and definitely more than stalin's. however from what I've read about and by him he was kind of petty in a way I find annoying. like he can make his point about how to combat fascism without throwing in a bunch of extra filler complaining about every single other leftist group and organization in existence. he definitely got scapegoated during the stalin and post-stalin eras of the ussr, which imo had more to do with it being a convenient political move than any specific thing that trotsky did or didn't do. still won't forgive him for kronstadt though. like I get why he did what he did but I don't agree with his reasoning for doing it nor the methods he used.

other than that I feel like trotsky's ideological positions function better as a rebuttal/critique of the stalin/post-stalin ussr than as an independent program. but that's just my opinion on the matter from what I've studied.

overall my feelings on trotsky/trotskyism are complicated. most of the ideas he lays out I feel neutral-to-positive about but he did do and say some things that I strongly disagree with and cannot ignore.

#pigeon.txt #sorry this took so long I've been rlly busy #and I didn't want to give a half assed response #magdalenepie #communism #leftism #trotsky

[madeofstardust17]

Devastating things I cannot WAIT to see in tua 3:

Reginald being a good dad (if not great then at least DECENT) bc he realizes his first plan failed in the future so he tries a different approach from what he first had in mind. And he doesn't actually love the sparrows, but they don't know that, so imagine the GRIEF of knowing, it's not that their dad was incapable of loving or being kind, he just didn't love THEM.

The fact that Ben is still alive is gonna hurt like a bitch, mostly bc it means that maybe if they were better, he'd still be here.

Also about Ben, I want them to be furious with Klaus. Especially Five. I want him to be raging that he didn't get to say goodbye. He didn't get to see his brother who he has been grieving for 45 years, only to be given hope to see him again via Klaus, only for that hope to be ripped from him bc of pettiness. (I want them to forgive Klaus for it, but first I want the ANGST).

Diego seeing Eudora. Seeing her alive, maybe with a family, and realizing that maybe, if he hadn't met her, she'd still be alive.

I'll probably come up with more of these as the season comes closer, but if I'm given any of these, I will scream and cry and that is a promise.

#tua 3 #umbrella academy #umbrella academy season 3 #angst #tua angst #tua 2 #tua #five hargreeves #diego hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #luther hargreeves #allison hargreeves #viktor hargreeves #ben hargreeves

[calebwidgast]

dont be surprised if i send u a link in the next few minutes 🫡

okay, that link might be the greatest thing i've ever seen!! let's react to it 'cause i have follow up questions but fair warning, i might have written an entire fucking essay 😂😭

now, let's start!!

romain ntamack aka rolaj

a) being so shy that you could go an entire day without talking to anyone #relatable b) what do you mean he almost blinded his brother???? c) a little bit of a hoe AND and has cute doggos?? sign me the fuck up. d) ....i'm not gonna lie.... the pornstache kind of does it for me.... 🙃

melvyn jaminet

a) telling me that most people hate him is a surefire to get me intrigued in him 'cause i'm a petty and contradictory bitch 😈 b) what do you mean the coach had to call his parents so they could help him understand mr jaminet better?? that's really sweet?? 😭 c) doesn't use social media aka has probably reached a higher plane of existence than us mere mortals who are all chronically online

baptiste couilloud aka mr booty

a) i will admit that as someone who is very close to my siblings, seeing sport blorbos have good relationship with their siblings does make me a little soft for them b) #shortking (also love that in rugby being 176cm classifies as 'short' because i'm 158 cm...) c) this man jumped into not one, but two rivers?? two seperate rivers?? whilst half naked?? i need context here?? ...and photos...

charles ollivon aka mr ollivon aka mr thighs

a) i'm sorry if i offend the entirety of france... but to me you all sound the same... but i did look up an interview with him and i do love his accent?? b) calls everyone chicken?? okay... why tho?? 😂 c) tHIS MAN IS 199CM TALL??? and his teammates goes around yeeting him into the air?? holy fuck... d) mr capitaine!! e) very large man with a soft gooey center that loves animals?? it's a good thing he has a girlfriend or i would be on my way to france right now...

martin page relo

a) ooooh bestie to mr rolaj. i love me some childhood friends who grow up and achieve their dreams of playing their sport at the highest levels b) okay but you need to stop calling these fuckers small, he's still 15 cm taller than me... c) okay but when you say he doesn't speak italian, do you mean he's not fluent or that he doesn't speak any italian?? because i feel like that would get quite lonely?? d) loves food #relatable and great cook #unrelatable...

baptiste serin

a) okay first of all, we love a private king. someone who shows up, does his job and goes home. does he have children?? literally no one knows. b) he used to facetime his cat??? okay i've found my favorite, the competition is over, everyone else can just pack up and go home. c) swears a lot you say??... again... #relatable d) smaller sports blorbos picking fights with people twice their size that their teammates then have to finish. name a more iconic sport dynamic.

louis rees-zammit aka lrz

a) okay, first of all, looks like a fuck boi but in a way that's kinda hot but he's also six years younger than me sooooo. no. b) he joined the nfl?? what, so he just up and went halfway across the globe to join the fake football league?? okay. c) ...not gonna lie... the accent... kinda hot d) ...but what do you mean he had to protect a giant lion plushie for weeks?? from what?? was someone trying to take mr plushie away from him?? e) i need picture proof of this lightning haircut 😂

antoine dupont aka sQUARE HOE?? 😂

a) awww, his teammates protecc!! b) #educatedking but for real, getting an education feels like a good idea when your day job is rugby... one of the most physical sports in the world... c) hmm... model you say?? 👀👀 d) okay, so he's one of the best rugby players in the world who also finished school and models in his spare time... so he's perfect??

matthieu jalibert (not gonna lie... read that as jailbait the first time...)

a) why is mr jalibert with his doggos getting hated on?? don't people know he has doggos and as such can't be that bad (don't quote me on that...) b) ouchhhh, getting misdiagnosed and worsening the injury is pretty much every athlete's worst dream 😐 c) ooooooh, give me the drama deets... d) what do you mean chipped off a tooth whilst rowing?? how do you chip a tooth, whilst rOWING?? don't you use your arms for that, not your teeth??

damian penaud

a) okay but getting your teeth knocked out, getting replacements but either never wearing them or sometimes wearing them but taking them out to play with them the rest of the time is SUCH a hockey player move... b) aGAIN, give me the deets on the drama. who was this reality show douchbag?? why was it such a big deal?? c) attended his team party celebrations for their grand slam victory in shorts and flip flops 'cause he jumped into a bubble bath with his suit on?? ... i love these idiots already 😂😊 d) THEY LOST THE TROPHY?? HOW DO YOU LOSE A TROPHY?? WHERE WAS IT?? HOW DID THEY FIND IT?? e) i've been told i laugh like a hybrid of a hyena and a disney villain so i feel you... f) a gamer AND a golf addict?? well... you win some, you lose some

ange capuozzo akA THE PRETTIEST BOY???

a) i don't know if it was the picture you choose but i think i'm in love... his soft brown eyes... the little swoop of his hair... b) joris is like charles' personal assistant right?? c) i'm not suprised you love him if he's a huge charles fan, like calls to like 😊😂

bonus round:

cyril baille

first of all, you weren't kidding when you said he's a huge teddy bear, i love him already. secondly, him and i are birthday twins!!

ethan dumortier

'he's smart. still can't believe it.' ....i love that being your only comment... 😂

gregory alldritt

mr alldritt didn't even get a comment... poor mr alldritt 😂

anyway, this was an absolute blast!! i will definitely be trying to memorize these fuckers!!

#replies #oscar-piastri #if you see any spelling mistakes... your mistaken...