#i've connected the dots i've connected them but also i feel like it wasn't that hard. the truth is out there you just have to believe

[coquelicoq]

actually natori has some kind of tracking talisman on matoba at all times. that's how he knew where to abduct matoba from for Operation: Kitty Cat City. matoba fully knows about it; it's why he wasn't at all surprised to find a paper doll in natsume's hair after the mask youkai debacle (matoba internally as he watched it fly away: classic mother hen shuuichi-san momence 🥰). because this is matoba "boundaries? what are those? can you eat them?" seiji we're talking about, he's not bothered by this "violation" of his "privacy"; rather, he finds it fittingly clingy (it is, after all, only right that natori should be keeping tabs on him obsessively). sometimes the talisman gets confused and sticks to yesterday's outfit, so he always checks to make sure he has it on the way out the door (his pocket patdown is "keys, lighter, wallet, exorcism supplies, shuuichi-san's cute lil tracker he thinks i don't know about <3"). i wouldn't be surprised if he's figured out how to uno reverse it and now uses it to track natori's location as well. this may not technically be canon but it is probably all 100% true in an important way that transcends canon, we just never hear about it because it isn't relevant to natsume's journey 😌

#matoba: a natori talisman. sure wish i had one of those 😇 #<-knows that he has one on him at that very moment and also that natori doesn't know that he knows #convince me that he didn't say this on purpose to make natori sweat. you can't! #in response to him saying that natori side-eyes him and has a dot dot dot speech bubble (my favorite vol. 26 ellipsis btw) #which is exactly how he would react if he had secretly planted a talisman on matoba #and was trying to figure out if matoba knew and was alluding to it!! #check and mate. game set match. QED. i rest my case. #i've connected the dots i've connected them but also i feel like it wasn't that hard. the truth is out there you just have to believe #natsume's book of friends #natsume yuujinchou #horrible exorcists #matoba seiji #f #homura cats arc #my posts #btw i do not think the head of the matoba clan actually does anything so base as to carry keys on his person #he has people for that. he has a driver. he has servants who open the door when they see him coming. what possible need could he have #for such an object #he also may not need to carry a wallet (or equivalent) for similar reasons #but it was the best shorthand i could think of to make what i meant by 'pocket patdown' readily apparent #especially since 'cell phone' isn't an option either since this is set in the 80s #i figure he must have some kind of lighter or firestarter bc he uses smoke to find the source of the locked-room curse #he also seems to carry a brush & ink and various & sundry tools of the trade that i decided to call 'exorcism supplies' #matoba-san drop the 'what's in my purse' youtube video 👀

[transmascutena]

some thoughts on photography and memory in utena:

on the wall in nemuro memorial hall, there are pictures of real people. i'm not sure who they are, but i assume they're of people involved in making the show. either way, they're obviously not real; in the close-up shots of them, they change into pictures of the black rose duelists and other imagery from the show. i imagine it's there as a fun detail by the creators, but also to show how weird and inconsistent reality itself is in the black rose arc.

as for the black rose duel images themselves, it's possible that they are literal as i've talked about in a previous post, but what i think is more likely, is that utena noticing them is a visual representation of her connecting the dots of what's really been going on in this arc.

when mikage brings up the idea of memories and eternity, we see the picture on the wall behind utena, of her at her parents funeral. and behind mikage we see one of his own defining memories.

a pretty clear line is being drawn between memory and photographs. in fact, memories are so important to mikage that photographs are his black rose duel symbol. it's the one he keeps of mamiya and tokiko, altered to look like anthy's disguise, just like his memories are. through mikage we see both how memories of the past can keep you trapped in it, as well as the malleability of these memories. let's look at everybody else:

saionji has a framed photograph of him and touga as kids on his desk. he values their friendship, or at least the memory of how it used to be. he idealizes the time touga was less cruel (or maybe just the time saionji wasn't aware of his cruelty.)

miki doesn't have any literal photographs of kozue or the sunlit garden, though his memories of them are often framed as such. he also keeps a picture of anthy amidst his sheet music. she is his idealized memory now.

juri has the locket of course, inside of which is a cutout of shiori from a picture captured in the moment that ends up defining their entire relationship. is this the version of shiori that juri idealizes? not really, but she is fixated on her resentment of shiori's percieved cruelty, just not the cruelty of taking the boy away. juri keeps this photograph closer than anybody else does with theirs, but she also keeps it hidden. this could mean she treasures her memories the most out of everyone, and is also the least open about it, although i'm not sure i believe the first part.

nanami has the photo-album of her and touga; she idealizes her relationship with him, as well as their childhood. when she makes the connection that touga is adopted, the photos are scattered all over her bed, probably to represent her emotional state.

touga doesn't keep any photographs from what we see, which makes sense with everything we know about him. unlike the rest of the council, he doesn't have any idealized memories of his childhood. but he does use akio's camera, so let's talk about that.

the camera is, much like the car, a tool that only akio is shown to own (although, wakaba does mention a photography club in episode 34.) like the car, it is used to facilitate his grooming (specifically of touga and saionji when he takes those shirtless pictures with them.) and, also like the car, he offers to lend it to touga, to make him feel more like an equal part of the whole thing. unlike the car though, touga accepts the camera.

the photoshoot scene in episode 37 has a transition where the camera shutter sound effect is played over the previous scene. over the shot of utena and anthy holding hands after confiding in each other about akio. i think it's to show that he's always watching, and that they can never truly be free of him as long as they're in ohtori.

i think it also shows the idea of akio framing the narrative of the show as a whole. he plays a sort of director role in it, in that he directs the events happening, as well as how they're portrayed. it's no coincidence that he is quite literally behind the "camera" in episode 33. like the car, a symbol of akio's power and sexual abuse (which is not-coincidentally also present in all of the photoshoot scenes,) his camera (his narrative, his biased framing of events) is ever-present.

and then there's the most important photograph in the show, the frame it all ends on. the picture utena and anthy took together is, unlike every other photograph, used as a look into their future. the reason they take it in the first place is because utena realizes she has no photos of anthy, which distresses her, presumably because she worries that their friendship might not last forever, and she wants something to remember anthy by. this obviously comes with the risk of making anthy an idealized memory, like every other person put in a photograph in this show, but instead it ends up as a symbol for their love. akio may have set up the camera, but anthy (with the help of chu-chu) manipulated their positions so her and utena could hold hands. she also cuts akio out of the frame, much like she cuts him out of her life in the last episode. she doesn't want his presence to tarnish her and utena's memory anymore (although he isn't completely gone from the photograph either, as he will never truly be forgotten.)

#id in alt text #finally finished this post #these are not the only photographs in the show just the ones linked closest to the themes i wanted to discuss here #revolutionary girl utena #analysis #utena #mikage #saionji #miki #juri #nanami #touga #akio #anthy #m #the narrative

[gadriezmannsgirl]

Hola, chica bella 💛

Here to ask for the part 2 of Believe what you want because I need it already ✨️🫠 byebye 💙

The fact you knew already that I was posting it and you requested part II even before it was out🤭🥹🫶🏼.

For this one you should listen: What I Put You Through - Connor Maynard

Part 1 here Happy version

Believe What You Want (2) -P.G8

(Angsty version)

Summary: After realizing he fucked up, he tries his best to get you back

"I overheard them speaking that night at Fer's birthday. Victoria was going on about you and her, that your things with Y/N would end up soon... Those kind"

Pedri's mind was racing in fear and agony. "No" He whispered "Is there any possibility for Victoria to have made those burns in Y/N's skin?" "

"Well, it can be... She got out of the house around noon so..." Pedri's eyes clicked up like lightning all the dots were connecting by your side.

You were right. All this time you were.

He had been too stupid to realize that

"No" He whispered once more

"What's up, dude?"

"I fucked up bro. Big one"

...

"She doesn't answer me" Pedri said for the fifteen time in a row pacing around in his room

"And she won't answer to you" Fer said "I mean... I wouldn't answer you either"

Pedri had explained everything to the three guys in the room, Fer knowing a bit more thanks to you. And he knew that his younger brother loves you to death but he also knows that what he did, wasn't right.

"¡Joder! ¡Soy un puto idiota!" (Fuck! I'm an asshole!) Pedro yelled kicking a ball in his room crashing into one of your pictures together "No, joder... No" (No, shit... No) He hurried to pick up the picture and inspect it. It had one little scratch made from the glass, the scratch made in between the two of you.

He shook all the negative thoughts that were running in his head and changed the photo frame.

"Well, you've got to understand her" Adrián began speaking "All of this could be true and her boyfriend just choosed to not believe her"

"I did not just choose not to believe her"

"You basically did, bro" Fer hissed "I mean... If my girl tells me that I would do more than just talking with each girl separatedly"

"And not only that but you also told her your personal fights as a couple" Jesús said

"Because she's my best friend!"

"Hermano..." Fer started "That's meant to be something only for the two of you, not something for you, Victoria and Y/N" Fer shook his head "I mean... It's okay you ask someone else for an advice, like what to do or stuffs but not to rant because for that, you've your girl. The one who's in the relationship with you. The one who's with you in the goods and the bads" silence flowed into the room, Pedri's heart was beating incredibly fast "If you want her back, you need to fully work for it, Pedro. Words won't do half of the work you gotta do"

And that was it.

Pedri broke down, feeling already the loss of the love of his life not being next to him, this time a bit heavier than the past 7 days. He left you when you didn't do anything at all. He threw you and your relationship away without a good reason. Tears escaped his eyes and his breathing was erratic.

All of his thoughts were about you and imaginating a life without you in it, thanks to himself.

"I'll be back before midnight" Pedro said grabbing his phone, wallet and car keys

"Where are you going? Won't you even take a shower? You smell" Adrián said shaking his head

"He cometido un grave error con la chica que amo, en estos momentos oler bien o estar guapo es lo que menos me vale" (I've made a big mistake with the girl I love, right now I don't care if I smell or look good)

"Pedro" Fer called him before he got out of the room "Buena suerte, hermano" (Good luck, bro) Pedri for the first time ever, smiled a bit.

"Thank you"

He was going to work for your forgiveness. He will make you fall in love with him again. He will win your trust again. You'll be happy with him. You'll be with him. He was going to make sure that happen.

And for that, he needed answers.

...

"Yes, there was a (Hair color) girl, with (Type of Eyes), a bit short, she was pretty nice. Sad thing she got hurt" A boy behind the counter said hissing remembering the moment "Elianna went with her, she said it was pretty bad but nothing that some cream and care couldn't do"

"Is that girl here? Elianna?" Pedri asked hopeful

"She's on her lunch break right now" The guy answered "She has the whole shift... Is it important?"

"Yes, really important" Pedri said without a doubt

"I'll let her know. You can sit anywhere and if you want to have a drink you can tell me" Pedri nodded slowly walking away.

He didn't know how much time he was there until a redhaired girl walked up to him, he without thinking straight stood up

"My workmate said you were looking for me?"

"Are you Elianna?" She nods "I'm Pedro. I'm the boyfriend of the girl that was poured coffee all over her"

"How's she?" She asked after gasping a bit at the mention of you. "I hope she's better"

"Ah-yes, she is a bit better. Thank you for asking" Pedri nodded nervous "Can I ask you something?" The girl nodded "Who poured the coffee on her?"

"Some random girl, Y/N said the girl didn't liked her..."

"Could you maybe describe her?"

"Oh, sure!" Elianna nodded "She had long hair, brunette with blonde highlights, she used tight clothes and she wasn't as short as Y/N, she was a bit more taller, maybe just like you?"

That was exactly Victoria's description.

"She entered a few minutes before Y/N, after I gave her a box of cupcakes she just kind of ran away and then next thing I knew was that the same girl poured hot coffee on Y/N"

Pedri stood there taking in all the information

"She hasn't been here since that day" Pedri nods humming "However, Y/N has and I know for a fact that her boyfriend broke up with her thanks to his best friend" Pedri looked up at her, guilt filled over his body "Why are you behind her? She's been awful these past few days, she's recovering from your treatment, why the need of asking all of this, if you don't believe her?"

"Because I fucked up. I fucked up big time and I want to mend it"

"Wish you luck... You'll deserve it because if I was her, I wouldn't even give you the time of the day or spare you a single look" Pedri looked down in shame and regret "I need to go... You want to order something?" He shook his head

"Not feeling hungry at all" He murmured grabbing his wallet and pushing some money into the girl's hand

"You aren't ordering anything"

"For you... For the help, for the info. Thank you"

And with that Pedri stood up and left the cafeteria. As soon as his body met the Catalan air, he fought the need of crying his everything out. You were right, just like you always were.

"I shouldn't have just let it pass" He said crying to himself now in the calm of his car. "I should have done something" He lamented.

His phone lighted up with a notification he didn't care about, his focus remained on a photo from the two of you at one of his spots in Barcelona to calm down and relax.

"Please, mi niña. Tell me how to make things right, tell me it's not too late, just please..." he begged at nothing because you weren't there and you haven't been since 7 days ago.

And as reality was hitting him, he knew there could be a possibility of you not going into his life ever again. Leaving him for your own good while he was suffering.

Pedro picked up his phone and dialed his best friend Jesús's number.

"¿Aló?" (Hello?)

"You said you heard them speak that night at Fer's birthday, right? I need to know everything you heard and if you saw something too, I'm on my way to pick you up so we can talk"

"You're really working for Y/N?"

"I am" Pedri nodded "I fucked up and I'm trying to mend everything with her"

"I'm waiting for you, hermano and also..."

"¿Qué?" (What?)

"Good luck, you'll need it"

That phrase was starting to get on his nerves, he didn't liked how that sounded, because it seemed like even with all the effort he'll make, it'll not be enough to bring you back into his arms.

"Thanks bro"

...Two days later...

"Why?" Pedri said entering Victoria's house

"Hola Vic. ¿Cómo estas? ¿Qué tal va todo? Días sin verte" (Hi Vic. How are you? How's everything going? Long time not to see) She mockingly said with a smile but her smile was wipped off of her face when she saw Pedri's seriousness

"No estoy para juegos. Dime el por que has hecho eso" (I'm not in the mood for games. Tell me why you've done that)

"Done what?"

"¿Me estás tomando el pelo?" (Are you making fun of me?) Pedri hissed angry "Stop playing around and tell me... why you did all of that to Y/N?"

Victoria's face changed

"I didn't do anything"

"You did. Don't lie to me about anything because I know how things went now" Victoria's face changed

"What do you mean?"

"I know you poured hot coffee on her that day at the coffee, I know you've been telling her things behind my back about my relationship with her and stuffs, I know you poured her drink on yourself but made it look like it was her doing" Pedri shook his head not believing it "You faked things and like a fucking stupid I believed them, when the one I should've believed was my girlfriend! You damaged my relationship but I was the one breaking it for believing you, for believing my best friend"

"I let go the woman I'm in love with and it was all thanks to you because I never thought that my best friend, the one who has been besides me through my whole life could do such a thing and lie to me straight to my face!" Pedri's face was red and he never stopped to take a bit of air, he was fuming, he was angry and all he wanted to do was make Victoria disappear.

But most of all, all he wanted was to get you back.

"Those are lie-"

"If you even dare to say lie, I will pour the same drink Y/N was drinking that day at Fer's birthday, this time someone pouring it over you for real"

"She's making those things up!"

"She's making nothing up! I saw the video of the CCTV camera of the coffee shop, Jesús heard and saw the two of you at Fer's birthday and now that I connect dots, every single thing Y/N has told me, has sense now. And I hate the fact I couldn't see through it, I hate that I put my girlfriend's words in doubt all thanks to someone who didn't deserved a single look"

"Pedro, stop. You're hurting me"

"And don't you think you've hurted me before? You knew I was having troubles with her and all you wanted was to get her away from me. Why?" Nothing came out of Victoria's mouth

Your words came back to him and he blinked thrice, suddenly being brought back.

"Don't know" You sighed "As much as Victoria might love each and every single one of you, guys... I can assure you that what she said to me today and the way she said it, it wasn't a joke" You said "I'm a girl and I have a male best friend too. But I wouldn't say those kind of stuffs just as a friend or to see if she's worth and good for him" You shook your head "Es más, ni siquiera le diría algo de ese estilo a ella" (I wouldn't even tell her something like that)

"She likes you" You said after a few more seconds "And that's it"

"Can I ask you something and you answer me with the truth?" Pedri said with his heart on the edge, he waited and all he got was a simple and small nod from Victoria "Are you in love with me?"

A few seconds passed where Pedri's eyes never left Victoria's "Yes" She said softly "I am" Pedri felt the air being knocked out from his lungs "Pedrito"

"No" He shook his head looking away "No" Pedri's eyes grow watery, he couldn't believe it. Once again, you were right, his actions and words replaying in his head, the way he ignored your feelings, the way he treated you, everything was haunting him. "Don't call me Pedrito nor Pedro, Pedri, Pepi, nothing. Don't even call me, forget about me, you are not my best friend"

"Pedri, por favor, don't do this"

"No. I didn't do anything, you did it yourself. Best friends don't do what you did to me, if you truly loved me, you could've straight up tell me that not take it out on the girl I'm in love with"

"In love with? So in love you are, you did not believed a single thing from her"

"And that was my biggest mistake because I thought "Why on earth the girl that has been besides me since forever would do something to damage me or the ones I love?"" Pedri laughed ironically shaking his head "I was so wrong and I regret every single thing I did since I saw Y/N leave on Fer's birthday but guess what? I had the one I thought was my best friend besides me but I never did"

"You still have me"

"If I do, I don't care, the one I truly need isn't here" Pedri shook his head "But I did needed my best friend those seven days to tell me everything was going to be okay, that I could move on, that I was in the right and Y/N in the wrong, that I did good in breaking up with someone who could only do was lie but then I find everything out and I realized I was just a puppet in the side of your game and I fell for it"

"Don't say it like that"

"That's exactly what it was" Pedri shook his head "´Now, me disculpas pero me tengo que ir" (Excuse me but I've got to go)

"¿Y para dónde vas?" (Where are you going?)

"You shouldn't care about that, Victoria. Hope you have a good life" With that Pedri turned around and walked outside of her house when almost inside his car he heard her yell his name out

"Pedro!" He looked at her "I'm sorry"

Pedri joined his lips and nodded softly, lifting one of his hands giving her a wave before he got into the car and drove off to certain destination with a single intention.

...

"What do you mean she's not here?"

"She hasn't been here since like a week ago?" The older lady said with a smile "She said she'll come back tho"

"Do you know where she might be?"

"I don't, mijo. I'm so sorry" She looked at Pedro carefully "Is everything okay?"

"I need to know where she is so I can fix things between us" Pedro answered with a lump on his throat, his voice cracked a bit and he looked down at his shoes

The older lady sighed "I'm pretty sure you'll fix everything that may be happening with the two of you, son"

"I don't know, miss. I messed up really big this time"

"From what I've seen you love each other so much, I've never seen someone look at her in the way you do and vice versa, talking things out can be really helpfull instead of letting problems grow"

"The thing is I never let her talk and all I did was say things I shouldn't" Pedri shook his head

"You know? She's looking really pretty in those pictures, maybe you can start from there" A loud "Abuela" was heard as the older lady smiled looking over her shoulder

"What pictures?"

"Oh, you know... The ones you take, the ones you update, the ones people take, those pictures..." The woman was smiling softly "Don't let her go" And with that she left leaving Pedri sat in front of your doorstep

He was sat there analyzing the woman's words. Pictures? The ones you take? Update? People take? Pedri's mind ran 120km/h trying to guess what she meant of and after some minutes and what it felt a whole lifetime, he confused grabbed his phone and clicked on Instagram.

You liked it even more than Twitter or even Tiktok, Pedri remembered with a smile the moments where you would "fight", he; claiming Tiktok was better as you defended Instagram with your life

He typed your user with no reward, you blocked him. And it was no surprise at all but his heart still broke a little bit more when he couldn't find you.

He sighed closing his eyes and relying his head in your door, fighting the tears, it seemed like he only could do that in the past days, cry 'till he had no more tears inside of him, fight the urge to cry and feel his stomach fall to his feet. He hated feeling this way and he hated the way he must have put your through

He unlogged his session and went into his mother's, you couldn't have blocked her, could you? With shaky hands and blurry eyes he typed in your user and this time your profile was the first one to appear, the colorful circle around your picture meaning you had stories up.

While he was sad, you were in Venice with your friends and family, he recognized almost all of the faces in the pictures, all of them except one, a male's one.

That quickly catched his attention, that guy appeared in eight out of ten pictures and in all of them he was besides you. You even tagged him on one and Pedri's thumb directly went to his account.

One of the most recent post of the guy said: "I hate the fact that when I met my soulmate she had boiling coffee burns on her but I certainly don't hate the fact I got to meet you, baby!"

Pedri's stomach flipped, seeing your answers of "♥️🥰" made his head turn everywhere, in an instant he got up and headed towards the elevator in his mind only three things. His passport, Venice and you.

Due to some storms in Spain, he couldn't get out that same day and neither the next day, it was day three when he got into the plane and one day after he was in the same residence as you were.

He saw your brother and followed him, he felt like being on Matrix, he was making sure no one saw or heard him, that was until he stumbled on a vanity table and knocked half of the things that were in there

"What was that?" He heard and that's when he ran, the quitness and calm forgotten as he was desperate to find you. He took a right turn colliding with a female chest after a few seconds

"Joder, lo siento mucho" (Fuck, I'm so sorry) He said inmediately

"Pedro?" You said shocked as he also stood there impressed. You looked even more beautiful than always. Your tanned skin, your red cheeks and your Y/H color making you look perfect. "Pero, ¿Qué haces aqui? (but, what are you doing here)

"Por ti. I came here for you, I want to talk to you"

"We don't have anything to talk, in fact, you don't even have to come here, you don't have a reason to travel all the way from Barcelona to Venice"

"I did, I do. My reason is you and you'll always be. I fucked up, yeah? I get that" Pedri shakes his head "You were right" He opens his mouth but closes it "You were right all this time and I'm sorry I couldn't see it through, I'm sorry I did not take your words, I'm sorry I just kinda left and pushed your feelings aside, you deserve more, you deserve better but I can be better, I can be what you want, need and more if you want me to"

You started shaking your head, pushing him back from his chest when he tried to get closer to you.

"Pedri por favor, aquí no" (Pedri please, not here) "Pedri, stop. We don't have anything to say"

"Y/N, bonita, te lo suplico-" (I beg you-)

"Vamos al cuarto, ¿si? We can talk about whatever you want and then you leave" (Let's go to my room, yeah?)

"I don't want to leave without you"

You looked into his big brown eyes as he looked into your (Eye color) ones for a good while, you sighed before breaking eye contact

"But you have to" You said nodding slowly, Pedri shook his head

"Por favor" (Please) He whispered

"This way" You turned around walking away while Pedri watched your every move

You called the elevator and entered when it came, you turned to Pedri

"You wanna talk or not?"

Pedri nodded and walked towards it, he turned his head to look at you

"Do I have something on my face?" He hummed for a few seconds before answering

"You're beautiful" He ignored your words as you looked up at him

"Please, stop that"

"I-" He got cut off by the elevator doors opening

"This way" You said walking off as he only could follow you.

You stopped walking when you got to the door 408, with the key you opened it and then stepped inside letting the door open for him to come in as well.

You took a seat in the couch and patted the spot next to you, he took it and you both were silent.

"So... ¿Vamos a hacernos compañía o vas a decir lo que sea que quieres decir?" (Are we going to be each others company for now or you are going to speak whatever you want to say?)

"I'm sorry" He began "I fucked up. I should've listened to you and put Victoria a stop, I should've been more careful with you and your feelings, not passing through them and ignore them. I believe you, I always did and I always will do but it seemed so unreal that what I thought was my best friend, could do such a things, hurt the one I love and the one I want to spend the rest of my life with, when her whole life she was protecting me and supporting me through everything"

"If my family wasn't there, she was. If my family didn't have an advice, she had. And for you to just say she did this and said this was a whole different thing from what I knew from her that I just couldn't believe it. But it was truth. And I'm sorry once more"

"Y/N, I'll do anything for us, I'm not giving up, we're so good together, I love you so much and if only I could turn back in time and do everything right I would but I can't, however, I'm here to mend things, I'm not expecting you to forgive me and that's it. I'll earn that forgiveness, I'll protect us and I'll be better for you if you let me, please. I love you, I want you and I need you"

"It's not easy as you made it sound, Pedri"

"Pedro" You shook your head

"That's something only family and close friends can call you, right?"

"Don't do this, please"

"But you did it first" You said pushing your lips together. Those were the exact same words he had told you the night you left "You really hurted me and you just can't change that. Please, I think it's best if we let this go" You looked into his brown eyes as he was shaking his head "For both of our own goods"

"Not having you in my life it's not good for me"

"Maybe not but it's the correct thing to do" You said "I just can't trust you anymore, no matter what you do. You told me I wasn't the same girl you fell in love with, that says enough"

"But it's not true, I said it in the heat of the moment! You are still the same girl I fell in love with and you're still the same girl I want to do my life with"

You stood in silence for a few moments before you stood up "I'm not that girl anymore, Pedri. Someone else might be"

"Y/N-" He stood up from the couch as well

"It's done" Your voice cracked

"Does he treat you good?"

"He does" You said simply nodding "He's-" You let out a laugh

"Does he likes you?" You nod

"He does" You remembered that night at your apartment, that same night he asked you to go to Venice with him and your family to get your mind out of your ex.

"You like him?"

You stood in silence "He's handsome and nice. He knows I'm healing and he knows I have feeling for someone else but that's not stopping him"

"I won't stop either"

"You should tho"

"I love you and I know I messed up but I can mend it, anything you want, think or say, I'll do it. I'll cross world wonders for you, oceans, vegetation, deserts, anything"

"You can't. Not this time" Both of you were crying now not caring about the other seeing you "I was hurt by every action and word you said, I reached the top and while I know you messed up, you could've prevented it and simply start acting like you should have but you didn't. And I can't handle that"

"Please" You said after a few minutes "I think it's time for you to go" You said walking away

He couldn't watch you walk away once more so he did what he had been wanting to do. He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you close to him, in a hug.

"No"

"Let me go"

"No"

"Let me go"

"No" His grip got tighter on you as you were fighting and at the same time, enjoying being in your exlover's arms again.

His arms were your safe space and laying your head on his chest brought you peace but now all it brought back was hurt and pain.

Hurt and pain from the situation you were going through

"Pedro, please, let me go"

"I don't want you to leave me"

"I didn't left because I wanted to" Silence flowed in between the two of you as Pedri was crying into your neck "I did because you asked me to, you made me leave, you pushed me away when all I wanted and needed was you, to stay by your side and defend our relationship" You took a breath "None of that happened and now that I'm recovering from everything, I want you to leave, I want you to go away because I can't be with someone who doesn't trust me and just throws everything out of the window without listening first" You said with closed eyes and tears running down, he chocked on a sob

"I'm sorry" He cried

"I am too" You said kissing his cheek several times, your lips were salty both by yours and his. You breathed in his scent once more and allowed yourself to wrap your arms around him "Te quiero mucho and you are the prettiest love I've ever had, it's truly a sadness it went this way but I wish you the best, Pedro González" You kissed his cheek and with one of your hands carressed his face "Y muchas gracias for everything" He shook his head softly, his head relying on your palm

"Te amo and I always will" He said crying, kissing your neck, ear, cheek, nose "I'm sorry"

You were about to reply when two knocks came in and then someone entered

"Y/N, cariño. We are going to be late for the trip, weren't you so excited to see Venice's bea-Oh! Am I interrupting something?" You pulled away from Pedri shaking your head

"Para nada, Mason" (Not at all) You smiled softly drying your tears but these still fell "We're good"

Mason, the guy, turned around to look at Pedri who nodded looking down at the floor "I better leave" He whispered

"Bye Pedri" He turned to look at you "Nos vemos" (See you)

"Yeah, see you Y/N" He smiled softly, his world was collapsing but there was no way for him to stop it, it was too late. "Take care of her, hermano" Pedri said looking at Mason who nodded softly looking at you with a smile

"Will do" Pedri noticed the look on Mason's face and that's all it took for Pedri to know he was going to keep his word.

And with heavy and broken heart, he left the hotel. All the luck his friends wished for him and all the praying he did, were not enough. His world is and will not be the same without your presence, your kindness, your laughter, your smile and your love in it, he hated himself for what he had done but there was nothing he could do now more than respect your decision and learn how to copy with his mistake for the rest of his life.

You were always right. He let you go. And now you were okay with it but he wasn't.

°°° °°° °°° °°°

Taglist: @gaviypedrisbride @stuckinaf4nfiction @elijahslover @azzpenswrld @http-isabela @pedrileclerc @shineforeversf9 @shessthunderstoms @f4iryjjosh @judespoision @notsosurehritika @jajajhaahaha @urmotheris

#pedri x reader #pedri gonzález x reader #fc barcelona #pedri #pedri gonzalez #pedri angst #pedri gonzález angst #pedri icons #pedri gonzález icons #football players imagines

[veltana]

Mafia AU prequels - Bucky's break-up

✦ Pairing: Stucky/Fem!Reader ✦ Word count: ~1.7k ✦ Rating: Mature ✦ Warnings/tags: hurt/comfort, mild swearing, angst, mentions of alcohol consumption, lots of fluff and feels, platonic cuddling, sharing a bed, Bucky is a dramatic drunk, unrequited love/crush, mention of loki/reader. ✦ Summary: The thing with roommates is that you will hear them during sex occasionally, it can’t be avoided with thin walls in an old building. But since that Wednesday Bucky never once slept alone and the rest of the time he was hardly in the apartment. ✦ Note: This is a prequel to No one as sweet as you set while they were living together in college, which focuses on their growing relationship and how Bucky and Steve started to develop feelings for Sweets as more than just their best friend. You don't need to read No one as sweet as you to get this but I recommend it. (Also posted on AO3)

Series masterlist

Masterlist | AO3

Bucky and Dot broke up on a Wednesday around lunch. On Wednesday night Bucky had a new girl in his bed and you and Steve shrugged, put on your headphones, and waited for it to blow over.

The thing with roommates is that you will hear them during sex occasionally, it can’t be avoided with thin walls in an old building. But since that Wednesday Bucky never once slept alone and the rest of the time he was hardly in the apartment.

With your room right in between Steve and Bucky’s, you took the brunt of the sounds and on Friday morning you decided to take shelter in Steve’s room because the girl was a screamer and you had barely slept for two days.

Now it’s Tuesday, around one am and both Steve and you are awake, listening to the moans and sounds making their way through your room and into Steve’s.

"How does he even do it?" Steve sounds a little amazed as you both lay in bed and stare at the ceiling. "Drugs?" you ask. "Honestly, it has to be, how else is he going at it all the time like that?" "Maybe they're all faking it?" you suggest.

"I've never heard anyone complain about him," Steve shrugs. "But I mean statistically he can’t get it right for everyone every time." "If he does, he is one of a kind," you decide. "Tempted to go for a ride?" You hear the smile in Steve's voice without even looking. "No, not really," you grimace. "We should do something, I’m not sure it’s healthy anymore."

"Yeah I know, Sweets, but if I try and grab him like he did with me when I was sad about Peggy he is probably going to punch me," Steve sounds concerned too.

Sweets, that dorky nickname they both have decided to call you because you happen to like all things sweet. Somehow it had stuck, even though you protested. "I can try and talk to him," you pause before continuing. "If he is ever alone again."

Suddenly the front door slams and you realize that the sounds have stopped. Sharing a look both of you rush out of bed, finding Bucky in the kitchen, downing a gallon of juice.

"Want some?" He holds it out when he sees you. The smell of alcohol on his breath is strong, even when you’re a few feet away, pulling out a chair to sit down across from where he’s standing. "No thank you," you answer while Steve leans against the fridge. "So, who was that?" you ask.

Bucky shrugs. "Don't know, met her at a bar." "Are you using protection?" Steve asks with a raised eyebrow. Bucky straightens up, putting the open juice jug down hard on the counter, making liquid slosh out, looking at Steve with black eyes that you’ve never seen before.

"Of course I am, do you think I'm fucking dumb or somethin'," he snarls. Bucky tends to be a little dramatic when he's drunk. In an effort to calm him down you reach out to him. "Hey, Bucky, it's okay, he wasn't-" The moment your fingers touch his arm, he turns and moves his hand. "Don't fucking touch me," he says and the palm of his hand connects with your underarm.

Out of surprise and not because it hurts, you yelp and look up at Bucky, a little confused because he’s never reacted like that before. He stares back at you with horrified eyes, realization dawning on him. Slowly, without another word, he backs away and hurries over to his room, slamming the door behind him like a teenager in a fit.

Steve moves forward and grabs your arm, turning it over to see if you’re hurt. "What the fuck is wrong with him," he murmurs. "It's nothing, I was just surprised," you shrug. "I've hurt myself worse by bumping into tables." "That is no fucking excuse." Steve lets go and starts towards Bucky's door. Before he can knock, Bucky opens it with a bag over his shoulder. He's changed into new clothes and his cap is pulled down low over his eyes.

Steve blocks the doorway and crosses his arms, asking "Where the fuck are you going?" "Heading out, move," Bucky mumbles and tries to duck past Steve but the other won't let him. "The fuck your not, you're gonna stay here and face whatever it is that you’re feeling," Steve's voice is laced with restrained anger. "And you're gonna apologize to Sweets."

You’re about to protest that you're not really hurt, but Steve shoots a look over his shoulder and you clamp your mouth shut. "We understand that you're sad about Dot," Steve is softer now and he leans on the doorframe, giving Bucky a way out but he doesn't take it, he just stands there, looking at the ground.

"You don't understand shit, Steve," Bucky mutter. "Have you even cried?" Steve asks and that makes Bucky’s head snap up, his mouth a thin line. "Real men don't fucking cry," he hisses. They stare at each other for a long while, then Steve points to you. "Can real men apologize when they're being a fucking ass?" Steve asks with poorly hidden disdain.

This is a sore spot for both of them and has been the grounds for arguments before. Bucky has some views on what it means to be a man that neither Steve nor you share. It has gotten better over the years according to Steve but you have not seen Bucky cry once, not to sad movies or when he’s been injured, or even had his heart broken. It's concerning, but maybe you and Steve can help him with that one day.

The bag lands on the floor with a thump and he walks past Steve to where you're sitting on the chair. Without a word he gets down on his knees in front of you and gently grabs your arm, pressing his lips against your skin murmuring "I'm sorry," repeatedly.

Steve has turned to look at you and you meet his eyes that are still hard and annoyed. You use your free hand to remove the cap and run your fingers through Bucky's hair, whispering, "It's okay."

When you do, Bucky stiffens and stops moving for a moment, then he lets go of your arm and buries his face in your pajama-clad lap, his voice trembling when he says, "I'll move out, I swear. I'm so sorry! I'm sorry, Sweets! I didn’t mean to hurt you! I love you so much."

Steve softens immediately and pushes off the door to settle on the floor beside him, rubbing his back. “No need for that Buck,” he says softly and you echo him. “I don’t want you to leave Bucky,” you grab one of his hands and gently press a kiss to the top of it before placing it back again.

After several minutes of silence, Bucky asks angrily into your legs, "Why the fuck does it have to hurt this much.” "I don't know," you answer truthfully. "I wish I never met her, never fucked her, never fucking loved her,” Bucky continues. "No, you don't," Steve argues. "I know it might feel like you will never be happy again but it will get better." Bucky lifts his head and Steve cups his face and brushes his cheeks, even though there are no tears there.

"We love you, and we will help you with anything you need," you promise. Bucky nods and lays his head down against your legs again with Steve's hand still on his cheek.

Eventually, Steve stands up and Bucky looks at him a little worried. "Not leaving, just gonna get another blanket for the bed," he reassures him. While Steve is gone Bucky says, "I'm sorry I hurt you, I love you, Sweets, more than you could ever know." And you smile because even though you know he’s exaggerating, it’s still nice to hear him say it. "I know Bucky, I know," you whisper.

When Steve comes back he pulls Bucky to his feet and guides him into the bedroom. You check the front door before turning all the lights out, then padding over to Steve's room too. They're cuddled together, Bucky's head pressed into Steve's shoulder and you move to slide in behind Bucky, but he grabs you around the waist and pulls you down between them. It makes you giggle and there is a weak smile answering on Bucky's face before you all settle in.

There is not even a light bruise left behind on your arm the next day, but you've never seen Bucky so remorseful. In the following weeks, he accompanies you around to classes, carries your stuff, and has sworn off drinking. Both you and Steve are skeptical because Bucky is famous for his partying but in the months that follow he often goes out but always comes home sober.

One day when you're having lunch at home together on the couch, you ask him about it.

First, he puts his food down before taking hold of your utensils and placing them on the table. Then he grabs you and pulls you into his lap, hugging you so tightly you can hardly breathe.

"I never want to put you in that situation again," he explains. "What if I get angry and do something worse, to you, or Steve, or anyone else." Hugging him back as best you can you say "Maybe you should talk to a professional about it?" "I'm on a waiting list," he replies.

You cuddle into him, really trying to show him that you mean it when you say, "Bucky I'm not afraid of you, I know you didn't mean to hurt me." "Don't make excuses for me," he says and picks up a strand of your hair, twirling it between his fingers.

The moment is cut off by your phone chiming and you wiggle out of his hold. When you pull it out a smile splits your face. "Have to go," you grab another spoonful of fried rice then get up. "Who was that?" Bucky asks.

Since you’re halfway to the door you don't pick up on his tone. "Just someone I've been seeing," "What's his name?" "Loki, he's from Europe!" You turn around with a smile and throw him a kiss before you're out the door.

Bucky feels his heart break, again, only this time he has no excuse to be sad about it because you aren't his.

prev | next

#veltana writes #bucky barnes #steve rogers #bucky fanfic #steve fanfic #bucky barnes fanfic #steve rogers fanfic #bucky barnes fanfiction #steve rogers fanfiction #bucky fic #steve fic #bucky barnes fic #steve rogers fic #bucky barnes x female reader #steve rogers x female reader #bucky barnes x fem!reader #steve rogers x fem!reader #bucky barnes x you #steve rogers x you #bucky barnes x reader #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x bucky barnes x reader #stucky x reader #mafia!bucky barnes #mafia!steve rogers #mob!stucky x reader #mob!steve rogers #mob!bucky barnes #mob!steve x reader #mob!bucky x reader

[ask-whitepearl-and-steven]

How greatly do the characters from the original show differ from the comic? I've noticed that Rose is a lot less jovial in the comics compared her appearances in the show. Canon rose also carries this air of naivety even in tense situations, whereas comic rose is a bit more level headed

They're definitely different, but in a way that I hope would... make sense? For the difference in their lives as it diverges from canon.

Actually, people are always quick to tell me that I seem to characterize Rose differently from the canon show. And I don't deny that! But I think the reasoning behind that is solid, or at least I hope it is.

1. The First Divergence

First - this Rose didn't just fall in love with Greg and then evolved from there. She met Greg once, lost track of him when he left on his way to stardom, and then their paths aligned again when he came back to Beach City a much more broken individual.

They still connected heavily, like the first time, but their love wasn't merely a whirlwind of feelings and misunderstandings. This time, it was more tenuous - Rose had to struggle to understand Greg not only as a human being, but as someone who was recovering from a disillusionment, having fallen through the atmosphere and burned up... like a comet.

Their mutual understanding stemmed not only from a past they wanted to forget, but also from a past that hurt them deeply. It wasn't better or worse... but it was a different facet of it.

2. What You Don't Know Can't Change Ya

When Steven FIRST met Rose, before she knew who he was... she was arguably MUCH sillier and 'naive'. (I would argue that Rose is not really naive so much as she is aggressively positive.)

The change in her overall characterization came about after Steven poofed her (a bit of a reality check) and when he began to question the gems about the colonization of earth, which made her a bit more morose. I feel like that's not entirely uncharacteristic, given how much it still weighs heavily on her mind.

3. Knowledge is a Curse

The REAL pivot in Rose's personality came at a specific plot turn.

When Steven brought Earl back to the Temple for the first time, and Rose recognized her, and subsequently connected the dots on who HE was..... she kind of lost it.

All the safety, anonymity, all the work the Crystal Gems have put in before this point, all became pointless in the blink of an eye. Her power was barely enough to protect her friends the first time. Now, she was reliving her worst nightmare, but in high definition.

I don't think it's clear in this shot, but Rose isn't looking at Steven. She's looking at Earl, who picks Steven up and pulls him away after her.

All at once, the past which she has been avoiding for so long has come back full-force, and for all she knows, she has no gems with her, and she isn't even sure if White is about to reveal everything she has worked so hard to hide, right before wiping the planet she loves clean off the maps - successfully and totally this time.

She had a bit of a crisis during the time Steven was sleeping, is what I'm saying.

It is at this point that Rose's personality changes significantly in the AU, and it is THIS personality that is most often sited as being 'different' from the canon show (the 2 minutes we got of Rose being Rose on tape - the video she made specifically for Steven.)

Rose becomes quieter. She stops smiling.

She observes more than she speaks. And when she does speak, she's usually confused and upset, especially at first, when she expects a White-level evil villain revenge/punishment plot around every corner.

And even after, when she calms down........ she realizes that the situation is even more complex.

But she can't even do that, because Steven doesn't know ANYTHING.

That puts the onus of protecting the secret on HER. She realizes that for the first time, she has power over White Diamond. The power to hurt... or the power to be kind.

In the end, we know which one she choses. And that's not out of character either, I'd hope. If we watched the same show, it won't be.

4. Little Diamond to Big Diamond

And it isn't as simple as 'Rose is more mature now'. But that's definitely a part of it.

The other part is that she really DOES have things continue to... happen.... that threaten the safety of the earth and the gems over and over again, and Steven is consistently not as powerful nor willing to take a strong stand as she expects him to be.

And even when she DOES show her earlier, sillier side, it's usually very promptly followed by a reality check.

She can't really take a break! She is constantly reminded that her worry-free time on planet earth is no longer for contemplating growth and plants and spending time with the Crystal Gems. The war is back on her doorstep. Again.

...and she is NOT any better prepared to deal with it than she was 5000 years ago.

So yes, this AU's Rose is a bit more... serious? But I don't think it's that far of a deviation, considering the pressure she's under. And I don't think it's unreasonable to say that she's still well within the realms of canon.

Then again, I get the feeling that the people who think I mischaracterize Rose severely expect her to be 1) stupid 2) selfish and 3) annoying.

People may have forgotten that the first time we see Rose... was the final version of her. And she has come a long way since the flashbacks we get at the end of the series.

And now that she's here... she still has further to go. 👀

#chekhov answers #rose quartz wd!au meta #rose quartz #wd!au #white diamond au #meta

[taboo-delusion]

So, I just discovered something interesting.

This is a bit of a long one, so bear with me. It's important. Seriously.

I just woke up a few hours ago. My meds are starting to kick in. I was having a very serious and genuine, deep conversation (in-head) and it was... beautiful. It wasn't happy, but it was beautiful. Not the point.

Point is:

I had not had a single fucking intrusive thought today until someone made a noise in the other room.

I am so fucking PISSED OFF

Why my brain refuses to realize that intrusive thoughts CAUSED the good feeling to go away, I have no fucking idea. I've known that for almost a year now, yet my stupid fucking subconscious refuses to change anything it's doing

Before I snap my fucking android phone in half and yeet somebody's face into neptune, I thought I'd share the discovery!!!!

Basically:

MY INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS DID NOT START UNTIL SOMETHING STARTLED ME OUT OF FOCUS

AS I TYPE THIS, I REALIZE THAT INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS -AT LEAST FOR ADHDERS- ARE A SURVIVAL TACTIC.

Elaborating:

When you fall asleep and your heart slows too much, your body does the falling thing to make sure you're still alive.

It's not that intrusive thoughts are *Just* because your brain gets too quiet, It's because your life has never been completely quite before, or -like me- the few times it is quiet, something interrupts. And even if it doesn't piss you off, even if you don't jump like I do, your brain still registers it as not safe.

--

Falling asleep, heart slows a lot-

Body: *Sends adrenaline just to make sure it still actually works.*

Drowning, even mostly unconscious-

Body and brain: *Hold onto that last half-breath even if it feels like you're head is going to explode.*

Going grocery shopping or talking to someone you think is cool-

Brain: *Remembers what it felt like the first time your guardian was indifferent or mean about something that made you happy or calm.*

Things around you actually get quiet-

Brain *Sends a thought you hate just to make sure you're prepared for a sudden problem.*

TDLR 1: Your brain isn't mean on purpose, It's just paranoid and still has a will to live.

Listen. I know I'm just some random dude from a weird blog. But I'm trying to translate, to assist. Maybe somebody else needs this realization as much as I do. I apologize for the yelling earlier. I'm still just as upset, but only at my dumbass subconscious. Now some time has passed, and I have regained self-control.

(I also apologize for the above paragraph, my brain nags for me to do this, but I can't remember why. So:)

I am no psychologist. Here are my qualifications (why you should listen to me):

As my friends call it- "Disturbingly self-aware at all times."

Paranoid Schizophrenic with actual (unrelated) OCD, with years of experience dealing with it- more healthily in recent years.

Philosophy and deep thinking is simply my default. I use metaphors, but everything in this post is entirely literal, ...except the angry threat. (*begrudgingly accepts disappointment*)

I am a fiction writer. I don't know about healing people/first aid, but I know a LOT about how anatomy works, with many deep-dives on the psychology/evolution side.

People irl generally consider me a genius? Idk how to gauge that, IQ tests are irrelevant with this type of... smart?. I've been compared to both Da Vinci and Einstein. So, ...actually that's pretty fuckin' cool- (I AM NOT TRYING TO BRAG! I APOLOGIZE IF IT COMES OFF THAT WAY! I've never put it all down like this, and I'm just surprised and questioning my reputation.)

(Also, I love playing detective, so naturally I call myself Batman XD.)

Autistic; I experience the world, and every situation, from a view without any context.

ADHD: My brain automatically -As a guardian I hate describes- "Can watch three different movies at the same time, all in fast forward, and can keep up with all of them." ... Well, yes, but technically no. Idk if other ADHD people do this, but my brain "connects the dots" so quickly, I end up laughing at jokes I've never heard before the 'punchline', because I've already figured out what you're going to say next.

Now combine all that. I am kicking depression's ass and now I want to help you do the same.

I have only mentioned the relevant things. Please keep in mind that ALL of these have both advantages and disasters. Thank you for your patience and understanding. I am running on four hours of sleep. For the love of whatever, I hope this actually helps someone other than me.

Qualifications are noted because: This is all stuff (and stuff like this) that I am just always casually aware of.

TLDR2: Even if I wasn't trying to help people feel better, Apparently I was born with a nat 20 perception/insight check, so please don't argue that I truly understand what I'm talking about here.

#this is serious #serious #intrusive thoughts #adhd intrusive thoughts #especially adhd #psychology #psychological analogy #human instinct #evolutionary psychology #survival instinct #fighting depression #original content #adhd #it can be done #it can be fixed #mental health #mental illness #mental issues #actually mentally ill #mentally fucked #and still going #so i'll help where i can #and you can't stop me #hope #how to get better #get better #getting better #you're not alone #you're gonna be okay

[aeshiiteiru]

Stars around my scars

— Sigma noticed his s/o falling into depression and comforts them

—Warnings & Notes

sfw | angst

|| Hey, hey! Sorry for the long wait, I've been quite busy, but that doesn't mean I forgot about you all!! I'm working on all the requests ^3^ (also, this was a request, but I accidentally deleted the ask! I hope the anon will still find it T^T)

|| hurt/comfort, gn! reader, self-harm, and depression!! (If you're sensitive, please don't interact!!!), I think there was some cussing, not sure, tho!, not beta read we die like bsd parents

m.list | writing rules

Sigma is a busy man. Being the manager of a big and successful Casino takes up a lot of his time, so having some alone time with you is not always possible. But even then, even while not spending as much time with you, he noticed. He noticed how distant you were. He noticed the blank expression on your face, the forced smile you gave him, and the "I'm fine," you responded with whenever he asked if something was wrong. He didn't understand what was happening at first, thinking maybe someone said something that made you feel upset. His mission was to find out what was wrong. He started observing your behavior closely, trying to figure it out himself. He could've gained that information by a simple touch, that was an option with his ability, but he knew that that would be forced and he promised himself to never use his ability on you without your consent.

That left him with just analyzing your behavior, your answers, and just trying to understand your feelings. During one of his observations, he noticed that you started wearing more covering clothes. He thought it was weird. After all, it was so hot outside. Who would want to wear long-sleeved shirts and hoodies? That's when it clicked. That was the moment he connected all the dots and started panicking. You weren't harming yourself…right? He hoped it was just his mind making him worry for no reason, but there was this feeling of distress, the feeling that he needed to confront you right now, make sure everything was actually alright. So that's what he did. He took the nearest opportunity to leave his office and find you. He didn't care that he was going to miss a meeting, none of that mattered to him. The only thing on his mind was you and the worry for your well-being.

He found you in one of the casino rooms, sitting on the couch, observing as some players made bets. He immediately came up to you, reaching his hand out to you, hoping for you to take it so that the two of you can go into an empty room and talk. You were confused at first, looking at him and wondering why he wasn't at one of his meetings. You didn't question it, though. You just took his hand and stood up from the soft cushions. He took the lead, bringing you inside one of the empty rooms and closing the door behind him, trying to make sure you two had full privacy. "…so, why did you bring me here?" you asked, still confused. He gave you a rather sad look, trying to find the right words to start the topic. "Well, I've come to notice your shift in behavior…and your suspicious choice of clothing. Is there something wrong? Do you want to talk about it..?", he said gently, making sure not to scare you off immediately. You were very caught off guard. You didn't think he would actually notice it, considering you haven't really seen him for longer than 2 hours every three days or so.

You took a seat on one of the chairs, fidgeting with the sleeve of your hoodie. It was clear you were nervous, trying to say something, but nothing came out of your mouth. Sigma waited in silence, giving you as much time as you needed. The silence and your reaction only confirmed his suspicions. Five minutes went by, although to you, it felt like hours. You couldn't look him in the eyes, afraid he would be judging you. With a shaky breath, you finally spoke up, trying to stop this suffocating silence. "I…I'm not doing good…I've been missing my will to live, feeling numb all over my body, yet my heart always ached even though it felt empty. I've been very lonely, no one to talk to…", you explained briefly. Sigma was hurt, to say the least. Lonely? Why did you feel lonely if he was here? That's when he understood. He wasn't actually here. He didn't give you the attention you needed. He neglected you because of his work.

He felt awful, the guild building up in him. He started apologizing for not being there for you when you needed him, but you stopped him immediately. "You don't need to apologize, I understand. Besides…it's not just you. A lot has happened lately. I got kicked out of university because I was missing too many classes because of work, and I lost my job because I was always late since I had classes beforehand. I have to move out of my apartment soon because I can't pay the rent anymore and my [instert pet] died…currently, my life looks like some cheesy ass movie plot line, and that's utterly ridiculous!" you explained, noticing how stupid that sounds. Sigma tried to process all this information, trying to understand why you didn't tell him, why didn't you share your problems with him? Before he could even ask you, you already spoke up again. "Before you ask, I didn't want to trouble you. I know you're busy, and I just didn't want to burden you with my issues. "you exclaimed. Sigma was shocked, just in disbelief. Is that the impression he gave you? That you can't come to talk to him because he's busy? It was ridiculous to him, and he needed to get it inside your head that no matter how busy he was, he would always find time for you and help you with your problems.

"This is stupid. Dear, please, you can ALWAYS talk to me when things get hard for you, you don't have to pretend like everything is okay. I really didn't want to neglect you like this, and I'm incredibly sorry for making you think you can't talk to me. We can work everything out together, I'm here for you. I might not be able to help with the university, but how about you work here at the casino? I wouldn't mind having an amazing assistant. Your apartment? Move out and come live with me here in the casino. You know what my "house" part of the casino looks like, I'm sure you'll feel at home in no time. And about your [insert pet]…my condolences, I know how much they meant to you. I'll make sure to give them a proper funeral." spoke Sigma.

He gave you the hope you lost some time ago, and you couldn't help but shed tears at his words, at the fact that he cared. Sigma kneeled in front of you, taking your hands in his and looking at the sleeves. He sent you a look, asking whether it's okay for him to take a look. You just nodded slightly, allowing him to roll up your sleeves to reveal the many, many small and big cuts along both your arms. This view absolutely broke Sigma. You were scared he felt disgusted by them. You tried to pull away, but his grip on your hands remained. He finally spoke up, pure sorrow in his voice. "But…why the self-harm? What is the reason behind it?"Sigma tried really hard to understand. He wanted to know so that he could think of something to prevent it from repeating in the future. You only looked away, feeling pure embarrassment.

“It…it helped me with the numbness..it made me feel something. It was the only way for me to recognize myself as a living being." The following words just left your mouth before you could even process your thoughts. "You must feel disgusted by them, I'm sorry, I'll make sure to cover them up better…I'm just embarrassed by them."Sigma immediately stopped you by squeezing your hands again, this time reassuringly. "Disgusted? Never. And don't you dare feel embarrassed by it. It's understandable, but don't do it in the future, or ever. Understood?" he inquired, and you only nodded, tears streaming down your face. Sigma just looked at you, and his gaze was soon on your arms again.

He let out a quiet sigh and brought his face closer to your arms. He started kissing every single one of your scars with utmost care. This action left you shocked. You suddenly just felt overwhelmed with emotions. The small tears quickly turned into full-on sobs as he continued to leave little kisses on your arms, no scar left out. Once he was finished, he looked back at your face, giving you a small smile. "This doesn't make me change my thoughts about you, dear. You're still the same person I fell for, and I'll help you get through this hard time. So please, be honest with me in the future. I love and care about you." he whispered and stood back up. The two of you talked about your problems and found further multiple solutions to them. You felt so good about yourself now, seeing that there is actually someone who cares unconditionally.

Copyright © 2023 Aeshiiteiru.

#bsd #bsd x reader #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs x reader #sigma #bsd sigma #sigma x reader #bsd angst #hurt/comfort #bsd oneshot

[dotthings]

Since I just rewatched 4x14 "Sex and Violence" let me revisit a few things. I really really like this ep, it's darkly psychological and it's a great ep on Sam and Dean's relationship, as well as having bi Dean subtext.

The first victim murders his wife

The second victim murders his mother

The third victim, Dean, the siren tries to goad into killing his brother

So the siren manipulates some people into harming a romantic partner, or manipulates them into harming a family member, a platonic bond. The siren gets off on the violence, the power, of driving someone to that extreme.

Sam and Dean are on different paths this season. Dean misses his brother and he's lonely. They're drifting apart, mistrust is growing between the brothers. The siren takes a male form, FBI agent Nick, to entice Dean. To give him someone who is like-a-brother. But Nick isn't like Sam. Nick is a lot like Dean. He's excited about the Impala, he's knowledgeable on classic rock, he laughs at Dean's jokes. Nick is the siren purposefully honing in on the loneliness in Dean, but in so doing, creates someone who is sort of like a brother but isn't Dean's brother. They aren't brothers. What the siren is playing upon is Dean's wish for a companion who understands him, who he can connect with, and it doesn't have to be his brother.

"I gave him what he wanted and it wasn't some b*tch in a g-string, it was you" is the text. Textually, Nick is using Dean's loneliness due to his slowly growing estrangement from Sam, and giving him a substitute for that.

Nick, along with being a companion, is a potential romantic and sexual partner, which a brother wouldn't be. Those scenes with Nick and Dean in the car...for one thing the siren innately operates in a seductive way and that actor really seems to be leaning into that, and Dean is...Deaning the way he sometimes does with men he's not related to. The way they're looking at each other in the car scene. This is the subtext.

And it's so weird to me that people get attacked or mocked or have had hate threads made about them on twitter dot com just for analyzing all this (I've been trolled for it, other bi Dean fans could probably tell similar horror stories). Even recently, I know it's still been going on -- a few weeks back, some bitter Sam stan tried to claim that if you let in the subtext on bi Dean, that must mean that you are validating w*ncest and that's just not how this works.

In fact it can be both about the platonic sibling bond, and bi Dean subtext (with Dean/Nick as the unspoken potential). The episode is mainly, and most overtly, about the brothers and their strained bond and how the siren preys on that. And I have a lot of feelings about Sam and Dean in this episode. It hurts. It's poignant. That is a platonic bond on the series and one that I really love. At the same time, the bi Dean subtext, the dynamic he has with Nick, the actual seduction siren Nick is playing on Dean, can co-exist with the brothers and their sibling bond troubles. Sam is not a potential romantic or sexual partner for Dean. Nick is. And yes that can be a layer, it's called subtext, while it is ostensibly about Nick filling that loneliness in Dean because Sam and Dean are drifting apart.

We also need to put this in context of the season. This ep isn't about Dean and Cas, but it is in S4 and falls at a time when Dean is drawn to a male companion--an angel, who is not related to him. Who gets him in ways nobody else Dean knows does. An unexpected kindred spirit where Dean never expected to find that. Cas isn't like Nick, Cas is weird, and he doesn't know pop culture and he doesn't know music and he doesn't care about classic cars like Nick does. Nick is an illusion, a seduction, the siren creates The Perfect Person for Dean to get close to. Cas, otoh, is the real deal. He's authentic. The connection between them isn't a seduction, it's Cas being Cas, Dean being Dean, and Cas goes against his orders from Heaven due to his growing attachment to Dean. Cas is making Dean feel a whole lot less lonely in S4 where Dean and Sam are drifting apart and Sam is wading into dangerous waters and isn't listening to Dean. So Sex and Violence isn't about Destiel, but Sex and Violence, Dean and Nick, exist not only in the context of Sam and Dean's relationship, but what's forming between Dean and Cas as well (even if Sam and Dean are obviously most directly relevant as the context).

Scrubbing all that out, and trolling and mocking anyone for unpacking it and making their case for the bi Dean subtext is really weird and it's anti-art and it's anti-interpretation. There's nothing wrong with saying "huh, that's an interesting take, hadn't thought of that. Not sure I see it, but carry on *shrug*" and move on.

Instead, for years, there are stans who attacked subtext and attack analysis of subtext, who laugh at it and call people insane, and are still doing it recently.

This analysis of Sex and Violence is old news, but I hope my revisiting maybe adds something to the discussion of this ep. bi Dean discussion is still going on to this day about it and so is the trolling, and I refuse to be silenced on perfectly reasonable subtextual analysis because some people feel a need to throw immature tantrums. It's utterly unhinged, in a bad way, that some people have been so aggressive about actively trying to silence discussion of bi Dean in Sex and Violence.

#The 15 Year Show #Dean Winchester #Dean is bi #Castiel #Destiel #Nick the siren #Sam and Dean: A work in progress #bi dean meta

[mochiwrites]

Hero au👀👀👀 hotguy and cuteguy👀👀👀 messy love squares👀👀👀 go on👀👀👀👀

-🍂

ehehehe leafie you never let me down /silly

I also just had to reread the lore doc I compiled back in may because it's been so long since I've looked at the au WHEEZE

ANYWAYS!

what to share hmmmmm. their love square is very messy, mhm mhm. when the story begins, hotguy and cuteguy have already been working together for about a year, so they know each other pretty well! though grian and scar haven't met once.

they're kind of living in two separate worlds. scar is in the world of the elite because of his parents, where as grian is middle class. they have met once before, long before hotguy and cuteguy existed, though grian doesn't remember it. scar does. because it was the day he fell in love with grian <3

it was something small, but it was a moment that was everything to scar. he was having a rough day, one of the ones where it felt like everything was out to get him. he happened to walk past the barge just as grian was leaving, a bag of extra pastries in hand. they bumped into one another, and grian, seeing how pouty scar was, decided to hand him the bag, telling him it looked like he needed it.

and scar was... so touched. so touched in fact, that he 100% fell for the stranger giving him a bag of pastries. he tried to find him the next day, but grian wasn't there (aka scar visited the bakery when grian happened to be out on break, only meeting joel and jimmy instead). scar never really connects the dots that grian is the owner of the bakery.

not until the story begins, at least! because the universe throws our heroes back together in the form of a party. one that grian's bakery is hired to cater. and grian knows all about the goodtimes family, he can't stand how stuck up they are. and naturally, he assumes the same of scar. he's forced to cater this party, runs into scar, and scar is so happy to finally know the name of the mysterious but benevolent pastry boy he met :D

and the flipside, with hotguy and cuteguy... grian definitely wasn't expecting to ever met hotguy. not in person at least. it happens by chance, with the two of them running into each other quite a bit. they're chasing down the same villains, and even looking into the same problem.

grian has... a lot of expectations of hotguy built up in his mind, since he's watched interviews and clips on the web. it's a "never meet your heroes" moment, really. because hotguy is the exact opposite of what grian expects him to be. he can quite goofy and clumsy, especially in battle. and they don't work well together at all at first. grian has to break down the expectations he has for the hero, which happens the more time they spend together.

there's almost this one sided rivalry going on, when they first start working together. because grian has these expectations, and a need to prove himself. oh and y'know. he's also crushing on the guy. majorly. it's bad. it's a mess. they work through it, become really good partners. grian's feelings only worsen. except hotguy doesn't see him as anything more than a friend, a teammate. rip buddy </3

but I think my favorite side of this lil love square is grian and hotguy, purely because they're goofy little guys with crushes on each other and thinking about the two of them interacting in Any capacity is really cute.

there's more world building here, but this is already getting very long LMAO. I've got more though! :D

#mochi speaks #hot n cute au #🍂 anon #scarian #hermitshipping

[shuttershocky]

Do you have a dislike for media universes that "rewards" people for watching/reading all of it in general?

Or do you think there is one that executes that idea well?

I'm answering this 5 months late, but I'm pretty sure I still remember this ask being prompted by a post making fun of the MCU.

Do I dislike story universes that reward people for reading all of it? Not at all. I mean, I'm a fan of both Middle Earth and Star Wars, I fucking love big, big universes with plenty of stories in them. When they intersect in some small way it's a delight to me, I love those little personal winks from the author for having read their other works or recognizing the most obscure names only a nerd would know.

However, there's a difference between a little reference in a story meant for people who can connect the dots, and making something almost required reading for your enjoyment. It's the difference between an acknowledgement from the creators that you liked the setting enough to come back for a new yet familiar ride, and a company realizing they've found their cash cow and can't wait to milk it for all its got until it's dead.

And dead the cash cow will be, eventually. It's been said before that the reason why the Big Two of western comics have ceded more and more ground to manga over the years is that Spider-Man has 10 different starting points while Naruto starts with Volume#1. That's not just a funny joke. Onboarding new readers has genuinely been Marvel and DC's problem for decades, which is why it was both incredibly predictable yet shocking all the same that this is what the MCU turned itself into.

Sure, early on you could ask the audience to watch a couple movies before the big Avengers crossover, but now they've got all these TV shows on top of the movies that you have to watch in order to "catch up", and it's not even about the cool characters anymore. More and more of their fanbase is going to stop caring once the barrier of entry gets too high, and it's ridiculous to me that Marvel went this road with their movies when they know this is what happened to their comics first.

I mean, are you serious, their next big bad is Kang? I am not watching several TV shows and an Ant-Man movie that's somehow worse than the second one all to see how the currently left Avengers meet goddamn Kang the Conqueror. He's in both the TV shows and the movies, which means they're somehow giving Kang more buildup screentime than Thanos. Why? Either I've been extremely out of touch with Marvel comics or the MCU picked a wild choice to headline their next billion dollar franchise when Doctor Doom is actually available to them now and barely needs an introduction.

Sorry, got lost for a bit. Back on topic, yeah I know I know, all art right now exists under capitalism which means every setting that becomes a wider story universe is an author trying to milk their existing fanbase. Whenever a creator makes a thing that I like, and then announces they have a new thing set in the same setting as their first thing but isn't a direct sequel so they can keep gaining a new audience while keeping their existing one, I know I'm being suckered in.

Just, don't make it so blatant. And don't make it so hard. I am the exact target audience for these shenanigans and even I'm starting to feel like it's homework because it's all fucking required now.

If I, a lifelong Star Wars fan, want to watch the newest Star Wars thing, I have to see a hundred hours of other Star Wars media first. If I want to watch The Mandalorian Season 3, I can't just have seen Season 1 and 2, oh no, I have to also see The Book of Boba Fett too, because halfway through that show became The Mandalorian Season 2.5. Well I did see Boba Fett, and the combination of my dislike for turning it into required homework AND the show itself just being kinda dogshit meant I never touched season 3 of the Mandalorian. That show used to be so great because it wasn't tied down to any existing story arcs or characters, so it stood on its own and made for an amazing watch no matter how much Star Wars you've actually seen. And then it succeeded and so had to become the new spine for the entirety of Disney Star Wars afterward. Fuck. Now if I want to watch their latest show Ahsoka, I have to have seen the Clone Wars animated series AND Rebels, because the Rebels cast are in it too! I mean I did see Clone Wars and Rebels, but that still sucks!

That makes me worried now! Andor was also really fucking good and it stood on its own so hard you didn't even need to see Rogue One, the movie that introduced Cassian Andor in the first place. But now that season 1 was a success and everyone sang its praises, it certainly means season 2 is suddenly going to get real cramped with Ahsoka and Luke Skywalker and whatever guys are currently alive in its timeframe. Shit, they're probably gonna add Cal Kestis in season 2 of Andor. The Respawn Star Wars games are still doing their own thing which means it's time to connect to something else.

I hate what all this has become. It was fun to read the Silmarillion and see what kind of fuckery one family of elves got up to that eventually turned Sauron from minion to big evil eye parked next to evil mountain, but you didn't need to read all that before The Lord of the Rings. LOTR didn't assume you knew anything at all (and oh boy did Tolkien never miss an opportunity to explain shit).

Let me repeat. I am the target audience. I live for the ridiculously nerdy habit of reading things set in the same universe as other things and connecting all the dots. If /I/ feel like it's become homework, I can't imagine what the average person thinks of all this. Make it stop. Stop running everything I once loved into the ground in the name of endless profit. Star Wars was already doing this to itself before the Disney acquisition and yet it didn't feel this bad.

#I would take hundreds of disconnected and mediocre Star Wars comics and books made in the Legends era #Over what's happening to it now

[otp-shipping-industry]

So uhh my fellow Rings of Power fans, please tell me I wasn't the only one who didn't pick this up earlier? Or was I the only dummy who didn't connect the dots?

And by this, I'm referring to Galadriel's dialogue from episode 5.

"There is no peace to be found for you here. And nor for me." "No lasting peace in any path, but that which lies across the sea"

Galadriel of course means across the sea, in Middle-earth.

BUT.

BUT.

BUT.

Wasn't Sauron ordered to return to Valinor?

Relevant point:

Valinor is also across the sea from Númenor.

So Galadriel's words here are true even though she doesn't know the real direction in which he could have found his peace.

After all, if Sauron had honestly repented and had the courage to face his verdict, he might have found lasting peace in Valinor. If only he had done his penance there and been forgiven.

BUT.

We know how the story ends.

Sauron doesn't do that. Instead he remains in Middle-earth and finds no peace in the end. Galadriel was wise enough to glimpse one part of the puzzle. It just wasn't enough to see the full truth.

BUT.

There's more.

Aren't Galadriel's words applicable for herself as well?

Just like she says, in the end isn't her lasting peace found in Aman, the Blessed Realm? Where she travels after Sauron is defeated? Where her daughter had previously gone, where Galadriel's kin awaits? Doesn't she find her lasting peace there?

So, had they both journed back to the Blessed Realm, to Valinor, they could have found their lasting peace.

Across the sea, just like Galadriel says.

The difference between them is that Sauron never returns to Aman or Valinor, but Galadriel does. And so in the end their fates become complete opposites of each other.

She leaves, he stays.

She finds her lasting peace, he doesn't.

...

Thanks for the sad feels, brain. Great job there, buddy.

And figuring this out after rewatching season 1 so many times, I'm left wondering how many rewatches it'll take to catch all these things? Here I was, happily rewatching Rings of Power for the nth time, as one does, and not once did I realize this before. Guess I'll have to do a few more rewatches to figure out what else I've missed. And then do it again for season 2 when it airs...

#the rings of power #rings of power meta #saurondriel #halbrand!sauron #galadriel #sauron #ouch right in the feels #otp's own meta

[originalaccountname]

There are some posts I've seen floating around that at the start Dazai may not of known that Chuuya wasn't a vampire which I kind of agree with. I'm at work currently so I cant double check but when he goes "that's a nasty trick you've pulled fydor" im pretty sure its in his thoughts?? To which why would he think that if he knew the whole time. I think dazai must of caught onto the fact Chuuya was faking it at somepoint but not sure when that would of been. Also at the end of the ep Dazai said he didn't have a plan. (I did watch the episode at just after 2am my time when it came out and then fell asleep afterwards so my memory could be not correct). I do think chuuya not being a vampire at all is a little disappointing tbh but this idea softens the blow. Would like to know your thoughts on this idea if you are open to sharing?

I'm in that category too, yes. I've left a few tags saying basically the same thing on some posts.

First, there are a few things the anime didn't answer (more than failing to justify Chuuya faking it since the start, there's Sigma's case about needing to help the ADA, which... didn't happen at all) so either we haven't seen the repercussions of this arc yet, or we got the shortened version of what the manga will offer. Which could work either way. (not ideal necessarily, but besides huffing what can we do huh)

Dazai not knowing though! Dazai did admit to his "plan" being to mostly adapt on the fly and trust his allies to help him back. He implied this prison break was one big trust fall. But that's how I've always interpreted Dazai's way of planning! I even made a post about it a full year ago!

Since Dazai knows Chuuya slowed down the elevator (which I can accept, Dazai's ability shouldn't affect random objects he touches, and Fyodor had told Chuuya through a comm to go finish off Dazai because he wasn't in the room), I assume that by then he was aware. Maybe not before though. Definitely not at first. Because this?

I refuse to believe was entirely scripted. Why is he acting? For Sigma? For corpses? I'm of the opinion that no matter what is going on through Dazai's head, his expressions are always genuine (ex: he might react with surprise at something he completely expected, if only because of how sudden it was, or when/how it ended up happening. Here? genuine distress.)

And I extend that feeling to Dazai having an emotional moment, complete with flashbacks, while "drowning" Fyodor and Chuuya. He did say he wasn't expecting to kill them that way, but perhaps it really was a moment of weakness triggered by concern or guilt.

I can accept Dazai having caught on during his face-off with Chuuya. That's Mr I-know-your-breathing-patterns we have here, so if they didn't high-five after the elevator crash-landing (still broke Dazai's leg), I would say Dazai knows physics enough to go "hold on" and connect the dots. So yes, that baiting of Chuuya, the light taunting, the bratty attitude he only really has with Chuuya, the angry YELLING and insults when Chuuya shot him in the shoulder? The destiny talk? Yeah I can re-contextualize those as Dazai over-acting his part. And then not being able to shut up after being shot in the head.

Maybe there's some reaching here, maybe this will not be totally accurate to the source material. But Asagiri does have a habit to write scenes from an outsider pov while knowing whats happening in the characters' heads and behind the scene, but then not give us that input directly. Never before today was it confirmed that Dazai improvises a lot in his plans. And yet! That's something I've believed in for a very long time.

This all could very well be covering Asagiri's poor decisions, but between this being the adaptation and bsd being an unfinished story, I have a hard time deciding at the moment how much of a poor decision this was. Maybe it's worth a raised eyebrow. Maybe it deserves some criticism in hope the author takes notes. Maybe this was an anime-original resolution due to time constraints (think of the Fifteen final fight). I can only raise concerns for now, and wait.

#bsd being a monthly release is also detrimental to its pacing #the chapters in the last+ year were very short and suspense-heavy #which makes it look cheaper than if you took a break and read them all in one go #there's a balance in there #i don't know if asagiri really writes with our time perception in mind. maybe he just writes the story and then it's divided in chapters #and that's that. who cares if there's 6 months between those two entries. #bsd #bsd s5 #bsd spoilers #apparently i talk sometimes #ask answered

[jadeylovesmarvelxo]

Secret Admirer 💌💞

Can't stop thinking about this idea.

eddie having a secret admirer, writing to him about her day ,what she admires about him, maybe telling him how she’s learning more about his interests and how she finds them cool when she’s the complete opposite of him ,leaving him orgami every time she writes a letter, until one day she decides to join hellfire club and eddie tells her about how he has some person writing to him maybe watch him connect the dots as the fic progresses

Request by anon 💞 took this in a slightly different angstier direction but I hope you like it anon 😘

Warnings; Secret crush, falling in love, angst, insecurity, fluff.

Likes or reblogs are always appreciated 😘 I don't give anyone permission to copy or repost my work on other sites.

💞💌

She smiles as Eddie finds the letter that she left for him. For a while now she has been crushing on him and was too nervous to say anything.

An anonymous letter was the perfect way to confess her feelings, she told him about her day, how she liked that he played D&D, that it looked so cool and she wishes she could play.

She also wrote about how much she liked that he didn't conform to people's expectations and that she thought he was really cute, with the most beautiful brown eyes she had ever seen.

Most of all she liked how kind he was to people who needed a friend, a place where they belonged.

Hellfire Club.

The letter was accompanied by origami, a dragon for D&D and she watched him smiling as he read the letter and pick up the origami dragon.

Maybe one day she can tell him how she feels but for now the letters will have to do.

❤💌

Over the last couple of weeks, Eddie had been receiving letters accompanied by the most intricate origami.

He looked forward to getting the letters every day, especially as the writer of the letter admitted to having a crush on him.

All he knew about the writer was that she was a girl and she had a crush on him for a while.

At first, he was worried it was some sort of prank concocted by that asshole Jason but the more the letters kept coming, genuine affection clear in each word he began to realise it was legit.

The latest letter made his heart skip a beat, he always thought he was too cynical to believe in falling in love and shit like that.

It's not like he had a lot of experience with romance. Just a few hookups after gigs or when he went out of town to concerts.

But these letters, the girl who was behind them made him believe that love could be possible for him.

He wanted to know who was writing these letters, maybe take her on a date and buy her flowers, and chocolates, actually be romantic and show exactly how much he was fallen for her through the letters.

Hopefully, he would find who it was one day? For now, he tucked the letter in his jean pocket and went to sit with Hellfire.

To his surprise, a girl is sitting beside Dustin. Wasn't she in his class with Miss O'Donnell? Yn? He recalls and remembers she helped him out with a few questions last week, he was kinda distracted by how pretty her eyes were and her sweet voice.

He cringes feeling guilty about noticing yn when he has the girl who obviously likes him and hes fallen for via the letters.

"Hi, Eddie, do you mind if I join Hellfire? I'm not very well-versed in D&D lore but I'm a fast learner and I'm sure you're a great teacher" she smiles at him and gently places a hand on his arm.

His skin warms where she touches him and his stomach flips with nerves. Jesus h Christ, she's stunning and sweet.

He puts on a mask of indifference and shrugs.

"Sure but you need to do the work. I've not got all day to train a rookie. Kay?". She beams and he clears his throat.

Something flickers in his mind that maybe she is the one writing the letters but he dismisses it quickly.

Surely she would just tell him? She didn't seem too shy.

He would figure out who was sending these letters eventually.

❤💌

As the week's pass, her crush on Eddie grows even more to the point that she is falling in love with him.

Watching him in his element as the Dungeon Master was one of her favourite things and she loved listening to the voices he would do for each character.

Or the fact that he helped her with creating her own character and getting her up to speed with D&D lore even though he said he wouldn't.

Things like that made him even more incredible to her.

One day after Hellfire she is helping him tidy away and he has the sweetest smile on his face.

"What's that sweet smile for handsome?" he blushes a little when she calls him that and he begins to open up to her.

"I've met someone, well not met yet but she writes me letters, the most beautiful letters and I want to meet her, tell her how I feel about her"

Her heart skips a beat.

"How do you feel about her?" His expression turns soft and he sighs.

"I've never felt this way before, all of these emotions. It's scary but scary good. She makes me so happy and I'm falling in love with her. I know it's crazy. I've never met her but that's how she makes me feel"

Oh... she feels like she is floating on a cloud and works to keep the dopey grin off her face.

She knows now that she has to tell him the truth, that she is in love with him too and she is his secret admirer.

💞💌

She was going to tell Eddie during their Tuesday Hellfire meeting but Jeff and Gareth came back in for Eddie before she could do anything.

So she snuck a small note in his locker with an origami that was a love heart and asked for them to meet in town.

Eddie had been practically buzzing all day since she saw him read the note and he had a spring in his step, constant smiles on his face.

Hopefully, when he finds out she is his admirer he is still happy. It's a thought that made her nervous.

What if he was disappointed it was her and turned her down? All day while Eddie was excited she was on tenterhooks anxious to find out his reaction.

💌💞

Just like she asked in the letter Eddie is waiting at the coffee shop in town. She's so nervous about his reaction to her being his secret admirer.

Would he be happy? She hopes so. Taking a deep breath she walks over to the table and sits down.

"Hi, Eddie" he stops drumming his fingers on the table and smiles at her.

"Hey, yn, are you here about Hellfire? I can't really talk right now. Im waiting for someone" he looks around and she feels her heart sink.

"Your secret admirer right?" he nods and she wants to tell him that she is right here but something in her heart breaks right there and then.

She is sitting right beside him and he hasn't even entertained the thought that she could be his admirer?

"Eddie?" she is just about to pluck up the courage to say something but quietens as he cranes his neck to look around.

"What is it, sweetheart?" she shakes her head, a lump growing in her throat.

Choking back tears she nods and makes an excuse to leave feeling like a darn idiot for getting her hopes up so high.

Once she is back home and cuddled up in bed she lets all the tears that she has been holding fall.

In her crying state, she writes Eddie one last letter deciding to be done with this whole charade for good.

She should have known he didn't feel the same.

💞💌

Eddie was waiting for his secret admirer to show up but she was a no-show. Burning with embarrassment he headed back home and realised this whole thing must have been lies after all.

Maybe it was a big joke concocted by Jason and his asshole friends after all? He can't believe he got suckered in by sweet words.

All night he tosses and turns, torn between anger and the fact that maybe something important came up and that's why his girl was a no show.

Maybe he is just clinging to dumb hope?

In the morning with not much sleep, he heads to school and finds a letter slipped between his locker.

He's torn between wanting to open it or just ripping it up. His curiosity wins however and he opens it.

His heart sinks as he reads the words.

I'm sorry I wasn't what you were looking for Eddie. I hope you can find who that person is for you.

There was no origami with this letter, his heart felt like it had been crushed. She did show up after all?

Where did she get it in her head that she wasn't what he was looking for? Frustrated he heads into class and is determined to find out who his admirer is.

On top of that yn is quiet and barely looks at him. Did he do something to piss her off?

He tries to talk to her during class but she is quiet and looks like she has been up crying. Who upset her? He wants to punch whoever did it for making her so sad.

It still doesn't explain why she is so off with him though. At lunch, he decides to ask her what's wrong.

"Hey, sweetheart? Did I do something wrong? I feel like you're mad at me?" he says confused and she shakes her head.

"I'm fine Eddie" Gareth distracts him by asking about his admirer and he mentions she was a no show.

He is just about to mention the new letter when yn gets up suddenly excusing herself.

"Princess wait!" he captures her hand and in his haste, he accidentally pulls on her bag too and the contents spill to the floor.

"Shit, I'm sorry" he begins to help her pick up her stuff, she looks frantic as she picks the things up and when a familiar set of paper catches his eye he freezes.

Identical paper to his letters... Yn arriving at the coffee shop plays on his mind.

Im sorry I wasn't what you were looking for...

She was trying to tell him something... He thought it unbelievable that she would be his admirer. The girl he was trying hard not to fall for ends up being the one behind the letters after all?

And he fucking ruined it. He curses himself.

Her eyes meet his and she whimpers, gathers the rest of her stuff and rushes out.

"Sweetheart wait!" Fuck! He is so fucking stupid!

❤💌

She rushes out of school wiping away her tears. Eddie knows now and is no doubt preparing how to let her down gently.

He catches up with her and she wipes her eyes.

"It was you after all?" he says softly and she nods trying to avoid his gaze. She doesn't want to see how disappointed he is.

"Eddie, I know you don't feel the same way. It's fine" she reassures him.

He gently takes her hand.

"Princess, wait please," he pleads to her gently. She does and he softens.

"I am so fucking sorry about yesterday. God, I'm an idiot. I should have realised it was you sweetheart"

"It hurt Eddie, I was sitting right there and you didn't even entertain the fact that it could be me" she murmurs and feels the ache in her chest again.

He swallows when he sees her tears and gently wipes them away.

"I never thought it could be possible that the girl I was trying hard not to fall for was the girl that was writing the letters. Didn't think I could ever be so lucky" he says to her, his eyes full of complete reverence.

His words make all of her anxious thoughts melt away.

"You mean that?" she asks him and he nods smiling.

"I've fallen in love with you sweetheart" she wraps her arms around him and he kisses her.

"I love you too Eddie". His head rests against hers.

"You don't know how happy I am that it's you, princess, that I can call you mine," he tells her tenderly and kisses her again.

"I think tonight is perfect for our first date huh?" She beams as he says this and nods.

"Absolutely"

💌💞

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson x you #eddie munson angst #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson imagine

[gadriezmannsgirl]

Believe what you want is amazing! We need part 2 if you can, love it 💕

After a long while, here's happy ending, you can read part 1 here "Believe What You Want" and the angsty second part here "Angsty Version" . Tbh, I don't know what I did here, I was falling asleep in front of my laptop💀 so yeah sorry if it isn't good😭

I took ages to do this one, I know but I've been extremely busy and sometimes I can't with myself

Believe What You Want (2) - P.G8

(Happy ending)

Summary: After realizing he fucked up, he tries his best to get you back

"I overheard them speaking that night at Fer's birthday. Victoria was going on about you and her, that your things with Y/N would end up soon... Those kind"

Pedri's mind was racing in fear and agony. "No" He whispered "Is there any possibility for Victoria to have made those burns in Y/N's skin?" "

"Well, it can be... She got out of the house around noon so..." Pedri's eyes clicked up like lightning all the dots were connecting by your side.

You were right. All this time you were.

He had been too stupid to realize that

"No" He whispered once more

"What's up, dude?"

"I fucked up bro. Big one"

...

"She doesn't answer me" Pedri said for the fifteen time in a row pacing around in his room

"And she won't answer to you" Fer said "I mean... I wouldn't answer you either"

Pedri had explained everything to the three guys in the room, Fer knowing a bit more thanks to you. And he knew that his younger brother loves you to death but he also knows that what he did, wasn't right.

"¡Joder! ¡Soy un puto idiota!" (Fuck! I'm an asshole!) Pedro yelled kicking a ball in his room crashing into one of your pictures together "No, joder... No" (No, shit... No) He hurried to pick up the picture and inspect it. It had one little scratch made from the glass, the scratch made in between the two of you.

He shook all the negative thoughts that were running in his head and changed the photo frame.

"Well, you've got to understand her" Adrián began speaking "All of this could be true and her boyfriend just choosed to not believe her"

"I did not just choose not to believe her"

"You basically did, bro" Fer hissed "I mean... If my girl tells me that I would do more than just talking with each girl separatedly"

"And not only that but you also told her your personal fights as a couple" Jesús said

"Because she's my best friend!"

"Hermano..." Fer started "That's meant to be something only for the two of you, not something for you, Victoria and Y/N" Fer shook his head "I mean... It's okay you ask someone else for an advice, like what to do or stuffs but not to rant because for that, you've your girl. The one who's in the relationship with you. The one who's with you in the goods and the bads" silence flowed into the room, Pedri's heart was beating incredibly fast "If you want her back, you need to fully work for it, Pedro. Words won't do half of the work you gotta do"

And that was it.

Pedri broke down, feeling already the loss of the love of his life not being next to him, this time a bit heavier than the past 7 days. He left you when you didn't do anything at all. He threw you and your relationship away without a good reason. Tears escaped his eyes and his breathing was erratic.

All of his thoughts were about you and imaginating a life without you in it, thanks to himself.

"I'll be back before midnight" Pedro said grabbing his phone, wallet and car keys

"Where are you going? Won't you even take a shower? You smell" Adrián said shaking his head

"He cometido un grave error con la chica que amo, en estos momentos oler bien o estar guapo es lo que menos me vale" (I've made a big mistake with the girl I love, right now I don't care if I smell or look good)

"Pedro" Fer called him before he got out of the room "Buena suerte, hermano" (Good luck, bro) Pedri for the first time ever, smiled a bit.

"Thank you"

He was going to work for your forgiveness. He will make you fall in love with him again. He will win your trust again. You'll be happy with him. You'll be with him. He was going to make sure that happen.

And for that, he needed answers.

...

"Yes, there was a (Hair color) girl, with (Type of Eyes), a bit short, she was pretty nice. Sad thing she got hurt" A boy behind the counter said hissing remembering the moment "Elianna went with her, she said it was pretty bad but nothing that some cream and care couldn't do"

"Is that girl here? Elianna?" Pedri asked hopeful

"She's on her lunch break right now" The guy answered "She has the whole shift... Is it important?"

"Yes, really important" Pedri said without a doubt

"I'll let her know. You can sit anywhere and if you want to have a drink you can tell me" Pedri nodded slowly walking away.

He didn't know how much time he was there until a redhaired girl walked up to him, he without thinking straight stood up

"My workmate said you were looking for me?"

"Are you Elianna?" She nods "I'm Pedro. I'm the boyfriend of the girl that was poured coffee all over her"

"How's she?" She asked after gasping a bit at the mention of you. "I hope she's better"

"Ah-yes, she is a bit better. Thank you for asking" Pedri nodded nervous "Can I ask you something?" The girl nodded "Who poured the coffee on her?"

"Some random girl, Y/N said the girl didn't liked her..."

"Could you maybe describe her?"

"Oh, sure!" Elianna nodded "She had long hair, brunette with blonde highlights, she used tight clothes and she wasn't as short as Y/N, she was a bit more taller, maybe just like you?"

That was exactly Victoria's description.

"She entered a few minutes before Y/N, after I gave her a box of cupcakes she just kind of ran away and then next thing I knew was that the same girl poured hot coffee on Y/N"

Pedri stood there taking in all the information

"She hasn't been here since that day" Pedri nods humming "However, Y/N has and I know for a fact that her boyfriend broke up with her thanks to his best friend" Pedri looked up at her, guilt filled over his body "Why are you behind her? She's been awful these past few days, she's recovering from your treatment, why the need of asking all of this, if you don't believe her?"

"Because I fucked up. I fucked up big time and I want to mend it"

"Wish you luck... You'll deserve it because if I was her, I wouldn't even give you the time of the day or spare you a single look" Pedri looked down in shame and regret "I need to go... You want to order something?" He shook his head

"Not feeling hungry at all" He murmured grabbing his wallet and pushing some money into the girl's hand

"You aren't ordering anything"

"For you... For the help, for the info. Thank you"

And with that Pedri stood up and left the cafeteria. As soon as his body met the Catalan air, he fought the need of crying his everything out. You were right, just like you always were.

"I shouldn't have just let it pass" He said crying to himself now in the calm of his car. "I should have done something" He lamented.

His phone lighted up with a notification he didn't care about, his focus remained on a photo from the two of you at one of his spots in Barcelona to calm down and relax.

"Please, mi niña. Tell me how to make things right, tell me it's not too late, just please..." he begged at nothing because you weren't there and you haven't been since 7 days ago.

And as reality was hitting him, he knew there could be a possibility of you not going into his life ever again. Leaving him for your own good while he was suffering.

Pedro picked up his phone and dialed his best friend Jesús's number.

"¿Aló?" (Hello?)

"You said you heard them speak that night at Fer's birthday, right? I need to know everything you heard and if you saw something too, I'm on my way to pick you up so we can talk"

"You're really working for Y/N?"

"I am" Pedri nodded "I fucked up and I'm trying to mend everything with her"

"I'm waiting for you, hermano and also..."

"¿Qué?" (What?)

"Good luck, you'll need it"

That phrase was starting to get on his nerves, he didn't liked how that sounded, because it seemed like even with all the effort he'll make, it'll not be enough to bring you back into his arms.

"Thanks bro"

...Two days later...

"Why?" Pedri said entering Victoria's house

"Hola Vic. ¿Cómo estas? ¿Qué tal va todo? Días sin verte" (Hi Vic. How are you? How's everything going? Long time not to see) She mockingly said with a smile but her smile was wipped off of her face when she saw Pedri's seriousness

"No estoy para juegos. Dime el por que has hecho eso" (I'm not in the mood for games. Tell me why you've done that)

"Done what?"

"¿Me estás tomando el pelo?" (Are you making fun of me?) Pedri hissed angry "Stop playing around and tell me... why you did all of that to Y/N?"

Victoria's face changed

"I didn't do anything"

"You did. Don't lie to me about anything because I know how things went now" Victoria's face changed

"What do you mean?"

"I know you poured hot coffee on her that day at the coffee, I know you've been telling her things behind my back about my relationship with her and stuffs, I know you poured her drink on yourself but made it look like it was her doing" Pedri shook his head not believing it "You faked things and like a fucking stupid I believed them, when the one I should've believed was my girlfriend! You damaged my relationship but I was the one breaking it for believing you, for believing my best friend"

"I let go the woman I'm in love with and it was all thanks to you because I never thought that my best friend, the one who has been besides me through my whole life could do such a thing and lie to me straight to my face!" Pedri's face was red and he never stopped to take a bit of air, he was fuming, he was angry and all he wanted to do was make Victoria disappear.

But most of all, all he wanted was to get you back.

"Those are lie-"

"If you even dare to say lie, I will pour the same drink Y/N was drinking that day at Fer's birthday, this time someone pouring it over you for real"

"She's making those things up!"

"She's making nothing up! I saw the video of the CCTV camera of the coffee shop, Jesús heard and saw the two of you at Fer's birthday and now that I connect dots, every single thing Y/N has told me, has sense now. And I hate the fact I couldn't see through it, I hate that I put my girlfriend's words in doubt all thanks to someone who didn't deserved a single look"

"Pedro, stop. You're hurting me"

"And don't you think you've hurted me before? You knew I was having troubles with her and all you wanted was to get her away from me. Why?" Nothing came out of Victoria's mouth

Your words came back to him and he blinked thrice, suddenly being brought back.

"Don't know" You sighed "As much as Victoria might love each and every single one of you, guys... I can assure you that what she said to me today and the way she said it, it wasn't a joke" You said "I'm a girl and I have a male best friend too. But I wouldn't say those kind of stuffs just as a friend or to see if she's worth and good for him" You shook your head "Es más, ni siquiera le diría algo de ese estilo a ella" (I wouldn't even tell her something like that)

"She likes you" You said after a few more seconds "And that's it"

"Can I ask you something and you answer me with the truth?" Pedri said with his heart on the edge, he waited and all he got was a simple and small nod from Victoria "Are you in love with me?"

A few seconds passed where Pedri's eyes never left Victoria's "Yes" She said softly "I am" Pedri felt the air being knocked out from his lungs "Pedrito"

"No" He shook his head looking away "No" Pedri's eyes grow watery, he couldn't believe it. Once again, you were right, his actions and words replaying in his head, the way he ignored your feelings, the way he treated you, everything was haunting him. "Don't call me Pedrito nor Pedro, Pedri, Pepi, nothing. Don't even call me, forget about me, you are not my best friend"

"Pedri, por favor, don't do this"

"No. I didn't do anything, you did it yourself. Best friends don't do what you did to me, if you truly loved me, you could've straight up tell me that not take it out on the girl I'm in love with"

"In love with? So in love you are, you did not believed a single thing from her"

"And that was my biggest mistake because I thought "Why on earth the girl that has been besides me since forever would do something to damage me or the ones I love?"" Pedri laughed ironically shaking his head "I was so wrong and I regret every single thing I did since I saw Y/N leave on Fer's birthday but guess what? I had the one I thought was my best friend besides me but I never did"

"You still have me"

"If I do, I don't care, the one I truly need isn't here" Pedri shook his head "But I did needed my best friend those seven days to tell me everything was going to be okay, that I could move on, that I was in the right and Y/N in the wrong, that I did good in breaking up with someone who could only do was lie but then I find everything out and I realized I was just a puppet in the side of your game and I fell for it"

"Don't say it like that"

"That's exactly what it was" Pedri shook his head "´Now, me disculpas pero me tengo que ir" (Excuse me but I've got to go)

"¿Y para dónde vas?" (Where are you going?)

"You shouldn't care about that, Victoria. Hope you have a good life" With that Pedri turned around and walked outside of her house when almost inside his car he heard her yell his name out

"Pedro!" He looked at her "I'm sorry"

Pedri joined his lips and nodded softly, lifting one of his hands giving her a wave before he got into the car and drove off to certain destination with a single intention.

...

"What do you mean she's not here?"

"She hasn't been here since like a week ago?" The older lady said with a smile "She said she'll come back tho"

"Do you know where she might be?"

"I don't, mijo. I'm so sorry" She looked at Pedro carefully "Is everything okay?"

"I need to know where she is so I can fix things between us" Pedro answered with a lump on his throat, his voice cracked a bit and he looked down at his shoes

The older lady sighed "I'm pretty sure you'll fix everything that may be happening with the two of you, son"

"I don't know, miss. I messed up really big this time"

"From what I've seen you love each other so much, I've never seen someone look at her in the way you do and vice versa, talking things out can be really helpfull instead of letting problems grow"

"The thing is I never let her talk and all I did was say things I shouldn't" Pedri shook his head

"You know? She's looking really pretty in those pictures, maybe you can start from there" A loud "Abuela" was heard as the older lady smiled looking over her shoulder

"What pictures?"

"Oh, you know... The ones you take, the ones you update, the ones people take, those pictures..." The woman was smiling softly "Don't let her go" And with that she left leaving Pedri sat in front of your doorstep

He was sat there analyzing the woman's words. Pictures? The ones you take? Update? People take? Pedri's mind ran 120km/h trying to guess what she meant of and after some minutes and what it felt a whole lifetime, he confused grabbed his phone and clicked on Instagram.

You liked it even more than Twitter or even Tiktok, Pedri remembered with a smile the moments where you would "fight", he; claiming Tiktok was better as you defended Instagram with your life

He typed your user with no reward, you blocked him. And it was no surprise at all but his heart still broke a little bit more when he couldn't find you.

He sighed closing his eyes and relying his head in your door, fighting the tears, it seemed like he only could do that in the past days, cry 'till he had no more tears inside of him, fight the urge to cry and feel his stomach fall to his feet. He hated feeling this way and he hated the way he must have put your through

He unlogged his session and went into his mother's, you couldn't have blocked her, could you? With shaky hands and blurry eyes he typed in your user and this time your profile was the first one to appear, the colorful circle around your picture meaning you had stories up.

While he was sad, you were in Venice with your friends and family, he recognized almost all of the faces in the pictures, all of them except one, a male's one.

That quickly catched his attention, that guy appeared in eight out of ten pictures and in all of them he was besides you. You even tagged him on one and Pedri's thumb directly went to his account.

One of the most recent post of the guy said: "I hate the fact that when I met my soulmate she had boiling coffee burns on her but I certainly don't hate the fact I got to meet you, baby!"

Pedri's stomach flipped, seeing your answers of "♥️🥰" made his head turn everywhere, in an instant he got up and headed towards the elevator in his mind only three things. His passport, Venice and you.

Due to some storms in Spain, he couldn't get out that same day and neither the next day, it was day three when he got into the plane and one day after he was in the same residence as you were.

He saw your brother and followed him, he felt like being on Matrix, he was making sure no one saw or heard him, that was until he stumbled on a vanity table and knocked half of the things that were in there

"What was that?" He heard and that's when he ran, the quitness and calm forgotten as he was desperate to find you. He took a right turn colliding with a female chest after a few seconds

"Joder, lo siento mucho" (Fuck, I'm so sorry) He said inmediately

"Pedro?" You said shocked as he also stood there impressed. You looked even more beautiful than always. Your tanned skin, your red cheeks and your Y/H color making you look perfect. "Pero, ¿Qué haces aqui? (but, what are you doing here)

"Por ti. I came here for you, I want to talk to you"

"We don't have anything to talk, in fact, you don't even have to come here, you don't have a reason to travel all the way from Barcelona to Venice"

"I did, I do. My reason is you and you'll always be. I fucked up, yeah? I get that" Pedri shakes his head "You were right" He opens his mouth but closes it "You were right all this time and I'm sorry I couldn't see it through, I'm sorry I did not take your words, I'm sorry I just kinda left and pushed your feelings aside, you deserve more, you deserve better but I can be better, I can be what you want, need and more if you want me to"

You started shaking your head, pushing him back from his chest when he tried to get closer to you.

"Pedri por favor, aquí no" (Pedri please, not here) "Pedri, stop. We don't have anything to say"

"Y/N, bonita, te lo suplico-" (I beg you-)

"Vamos al cuarto, ¿si? We can talk about whatever you want and then you leave" (Let's go to my room, yeah?)

"I don't want to leave without you"

You looked into his big brown eyes as he looked into your (Eye color) ones for a good while, you sighed before breaking eye contact

"But you have to" You said nodding slowly, Pedri shook his head

"Por favor" (Please) He whispered

"This way" You turned around walking away while Pedri watched your every move

You called the elevator and entered when it came, you turned to Pedri

"You wanna talk or not?"

Pedri nodded and walked towards it, he turned his head to look at you

"Do I have something on my face?" He hummed for a few seconds before answering

"You're beautiful" He ignored your words as you looked up at him

"Please, stop that"

"I-" He got cut off by the elevator doors opening

"This way" You said walking off as he only could follow you.

You stopped walking when you got to the door 408, with the key you opened it and then stepped inside letting the door open for him to come in as well.

You took a seat in the couch and patted the spot next to you, he took it and you both were silent.

"So... ¿Vamos a hacernos compañía o vas a decir lo que sea que quieres decir?" (Are we going to be each others company for now or you are going to speak whatever you want to say?)

"I'm sorry" He began "I fucked up. I should've listened to you and put Victoria a stop, I should've been more careful with you and your feelings, not passing through them and ignore them. I believe you, I always did and I always will do but it seemed so unreal that what I thought was my best friend, could do such a things, hurt the one I love and the one I want to spend the rest of my life with, when her whole life she was protecting me and supporting me through everything"

"If my family wasn't there, she was. If my family didn't have an advice, she had. And for you to just say she did this and said this was a whole different thing from what I knew from her that I just couldn't believe it. But it was truth. And I'm sorry once more"

"Y/N, I'll do anything for us, I'm not giving up, we're so good together, I love you so much and if only I could turn back in time and do everything right I would but I can't, however, I'm here to mend things, I'm not expecting you to forgive me and that's it. I'll earn that forgiveness, I'll protect us and I'll be better for you if you let me, please. I love you, I want you and I need you"

"It's not easy as you made it sound, Pedri"

"Pedro" You shook your head

"That's something only family and close friends can call you, right?"

"Don't do this, please"

"But you did it first" You said pushing your lips together. Those were the exact same words he had told you the night you left "You really hurted me and you just can't change that. Please, I think it's best if we let this go" You looked into his brown eyes as he was shaking his head "For both of our own goods"

"Not having you in my life it's not good for me"

"Maybe not but it's the correct thing to do" You said "I just can't trust you anymore, no matter what you do. You told me I wasn't the same girl you fell in love with, that says enough"

"But it's not true, I said it in the heat of the moment! You are still the same girl I fell in love with and you're still the same girl I want to do my life with"

You stood in silence for a few moments before you stood up "That hurt me a lot. Hearing the guy I'm terribly in love with say that I'm not that girl he fell in love with"

"Y/N-" He stood up from the couch as well

"It's done" Your voice cracked "You don't get to come here after doing that stunt back at your brother's birthday and once you realized I was in the right came straight back here to apologize, hoping for me to run back into your arms" You shook your head "You don't"

"Does he treat you good?" He said out of nowhere

"¿Acaso te la fumaste? ¿De quién estás hablando?" (Did you smoke it? Who are you talking about?) You said confused

"About your new friend! The one that appears in every single story of yours and on your posts!"

"Mason?"

"That same one" You laughed dryly

"He's gay" You blurted out "Believe me if he wasn't I would be already trying something with him since he does believe in me not like others"

"I said I was sorry"

"And I said that didn't make it. If you want me back you'll have to do a lot more than just apologizing, González"

"He seems to like you"

"He doesn't. He's here with his fiancée, they're celebrating their engagement" You remembered that night at your apartment, the night he showed you his new engagement ring and that same night he asked you to go to Venice with him and your family to get your mind out of your ex.

"I'm sorry"

"You like to apologize a lot and tend to not feel the sorry"

"I do am"

"Great, good for you. Can you please go now?" He shook his head

"No. I love you and I know I messed up but I can mend it, anything you want, think or say, I'll do it. I'll cross world wonders for you, oceans, vegetation, deserts, anything"

"I don't think you can do that, Pedri" You were at the verge of tears "I was hurt by every action and word you said, I reached the top and while I know you messed up, you could've prevented it and simply start acting like you should have but you didn't. And I can't handle that"

"Please" You said after a few minutes "I think it's time for you to go" You said walking away

He couldn't watch you walk away once more so he did what he had been wanting to do. He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you close to him, in a hug.

"No"

"Let me go"

"No"

"Let me go"

"No" His grip got tighter on you as you were fighting and at the same time, enjoying being in your exlover's arms again.

His arms were your safe space and laying your head on his chest brought you peace but now all it brought back was hurt and pain.

Hurt and pain from the situation you were going through

"Pedro, please, let me go"

"I don't want you to leave me"

"I didn't left because I wanted to" Silence flowed in between the two of you as Pedri was crying into your neck "I did because you asked me to, you made me leave, you pushed me away when all I wanted and needed was you, to stay by your side and defend our relationship" You took a breath "None of that happened and now that I'm recovering from everything, I want you to leave, I want you to go away because I can't be with someone who doesn't trust me and just throws everything out of the window without listening first" You said with closed eyes and tears running down, he chocked on a sob

"I'm sorry" He cried "For everything. I should have done a lot of things and one of them was trust you, fight for you and our love but I'm here trying to fix it, to fix us, you were giving me your everything while I wasn't and now it's my turn to pay it back until we're all good. Please, I beg you, give me just one more chance to make everything right"

You looked into his eyes as he looked into yours "Please" He whispered with tears falling down his cheeks

You were going to hate yourself so much for this but you can't lie to yourself and say you didn't want, need or love him because you did with all of your body. You were aching for him, for his kisses, for his cuddles, for his warmth, his laugh, his bad jokes, his company and love. You needed him. You wanted him. You loved him. He was the one for you.

"Please" You said shaking your head "Don't you ever do that again to me" You whispered "'Cus this is your last chance, González. I don't care if I'm dying for you, if you do it one more time, you can swear to all of your ancestors I will not take you back" Pedro's face changed to one of relief and he pulled you into his hold tightly this time tears of happiness coming out of his eyes.

"Te amo, I always will" He said crying, kissing your neck, ear, cheek, nose "Thank you so much for this opportunity, I'm very sorry, amor" He said resting his forehead against yours "You'll not regret this, I promise"

"I better not be" You smiled softly "But don't get too ahead of yourself, Pedrito. You need to work for everything back"

"I'll do. I don't care, I charmed you once, I can do it twice" You smiled softly "I missed you so much" He said hugging you once more, his face rested inside your neck as you finally felt at peace, breathing properly and safely in your lover's arms.

You were about to reply when two knocks came in and then someone entered

"Y/N, cariño. We are going to be late for the trip, weren't you so excited to see Venice's bea-Oh! Am I interrupting something?" You pulled away from Pedri shaking your head

"Para nada, Mason" (Not at all) You smiled softly drying your tears "We're good"

Mason, the guy, turned around to look at Pedri and then to you as you softly nod locking hands with Pedri

"Pedro, this is my friend, Mason. Mase, this is Pedri"

"The asshole?"

"¡Ostias!" (F*ck!)

"You were pretty much an asshole" You defended Mason with a soft smile "We can't lie" You shrug your shoulders "What's up?"

"Venice's beaches. Coming?" You nod softly

"We'll be there in a little while" You smiled

"Great!" Mason smiled "Also Pedro..." Pedri's big brown eyes went to Mason's "Hurt her again and I'll make sure you'll never be able to play football again for what's rest of your life"

"I won't"

"You better" Mason said "If I was straight I would've gone straight away after her to get her" You laughed softly

"He got your point, Mase. Give us a few minutes, we'll be downstairs quickly" You said and once the door was closed you smashed yourself against Pedri's lips "Te quiero" You said "A lot" You smiled "Please, don't let me go"

"Never again"

And with his heart full, he felt as if the stars had alligned just for him, you were his angel and he'll take good care of you now. He lefthe left the hotel. All the luck his friend wished for you and all the praying he did, were enough. His world is and will not be the same without your presence, your kindness, your laughter, your smile and your love in it, he hated himself for what he had done but thank God you give him another chance. This time, he was surely not going to lose you this time.

°°° °°° °°° °°°

Taglist: @gaviypedrisbride @stuckinaf4nfiction @elijahslover @azzpenswrld @http-isabela @pedrileclerc @shineforeversf9 @shessthunderstoms @f4iryjjosh @judespoision @notsosurehritika @jajajhaahaha @urmotheris

#gadriezmannsgirl replies #gadriezmannsgirl is writing #pedri #pedri gonzález #fc barcelona #pedri angst #pedri gonzález icons #pedri incons #Football players imagines #pedri x reader #pedri gonzalez x reader #pedri gonzalez imagine

[etsuven]

rating: fluff cw: small spoilers for scara's weapon includes: sort of a creator au, me subtly putting in my small hatred for the widsith as i literally get it every other four star pull i swear i have like 8 of them summary: after saving for so long, you were finally able to spoil the person you were waiting for...

note: HIIII! it's been a little bit since my last posttt! i wasn't kidding when i said i was lowkey becoming obsessed with scara. i had this idea in my head for a few days now and i've just now gotten to writing this. also i'm not using his namecard until he releases because it's kind of a spoiler and even i haven't even looked at it yet. btw, are you guys going to call scara by his original name or wanderer? i'm planning on just going with scara as that's just what i'm used to- uhhh i'm rambling now onto the fic!!!

one ten pull. two ten pulls. yet another widsith in another pull.

you sighed softly, looking at the countless intertwined fates in your hands. you weren't too worried about not getting scaramouche, or 'wanderer' as he was called now- as you had been saving up for quite a bit now. closing your eyes, you took in a deep breath, silently pleading for him to finally appear.

grabbing ten of the fates in your hand, you threw them into the air, watching as they disappeared into multicolored particles before reappearing in the sky. the blue streaks zoomed through the sky, racing through the clouds before one finally pulled ahead.

the light it emanated was small at first, before finally erupting into a bright gold light. your heart began to pound in your chest, your foot stepping forward as you watched the light slowly fall to the ground in front of you. the light began to form into a humanoid shape, and your eyes began to widen once you finally realized who it was.

scaramouche.

you watched him open his eyes, only for him to squint when the overwhelming gold light hit him. once it was gone, he opened them once more, his gaze falling on your body. he finally started to connect the dots as he took note of the various pink and blue colored gems in your hand.

'weren't you... the creator?' scaramouche thought. 'the creator of the world he became so accustomed to? why did you summon someone like... him?' never mind that, he had to say something before you noticed his falling façade.

"well, of course the creator would be the one to pull for me!" he spoke, a cocky tone evident in his voice. he placed his fingertips on the brim of his hat, now changed due to the designs the higher ups made for him. "as the best person available, i'm honored to be- wait, why are you looking at me like that?"

your arms were now outstretched, and you had begun walking towards him. scaramouche's 'heart' began to pound in his chest, and he found himself unconsciously stepping backwards. you paused a bit, hesitating slightly as you began to speak.

"can i hug you?"

scara felt his face heat up rapidly, causing him to look away as he feared you would see how red his face had probably gotten. while he was embarrassed, he had to admit that a hug from the creator of all people sounded quite nice... with a small nod, he held his arms out slightly in front of him, flinching a bit as you raced towards him.

your arms snaked around him, pulling him in an embrace he never thought he'd be able to feel. you were warm, really warm, and there was a sort of comforting aura around you that made him want to bury his face in your neck in an attempt to stay there forever (plus you smelled nice, but you wouldn't catch him admitting that out loud.)

you pulled away a few seconds later, keeping your hands on him and breathing in softly as you took him in. he looked even better in front of you than in the pictures, and now that you could finally give him what he deserved...

wait, his materials!

"i've got some stuff for you!" you exclaimed. tossing the fates on the ground, you pulled out a bag from seemingly nowhere, pulling out materials that scara had seen you give to many beforehand. colorful chunks of crystal, multiple stacks of books, and oh so many boss and common enemy materials- just how many had you killed for him?

scara's glanced at all of the materials, feeling slightly overwhelmed. all of those were him? him only? you had done all of this... for him? before he had gotten the chance to speak, you grabbed all the items in your arms, standing in front of him as you tried not to show how much you were struggling.

"close your eyes!" and unable to disobey you (just yet) he closed his eyes. you mumbled a few words, and scara peaked an eye open to see all of the materials rushing into his body. streaks of grey, green, blue, purple, and even a bit of gold rushed into his chest. and even though he hadn't even done anything yet, he began to feel more powerful.

he looked at you in awe, almost wanting to cry at how proud of him you looked. he just couldn't get over the fact that you had done so much for him, even though this was his first time properly meeting you face to face.

"i- thank you, creator..." he spoke softly, averting his gaze out of shyness. he felt your hand go up to his cheek, caressing the adorably chubby flesh with a small smile.

"(y/n) is fine!" you laughed, patting his cheek softly before pulling away. grabbing at your bag. "we'll be partners for a while after this, okay! it'll be weird if you continued to call me 'creator.'"

scara nodded, flushing slightly at the mention of being 'partners.' obviously you didn't mean it in that way, but he couldn't help but let his mind wander. it didn't help that you were quite attractive as well. he slapped at his cheeks. what was he doing, being all sappy like this. he wasn't normally like this, what about you made him change his personality all of a sudden?!

he watched curiously as you pulled a few of those pink and purple gems out of your bag, throwing them into the sky. they disappeared, and blue streaks zipped through the sky, one pulling forward and turning into a purple light. a few weapons fell into your hands, and you huffed angrily at one called "the widsith."

a few more pulls went by, and a frustrated- yet still quite cute- look began to show itself on your face. you threw another handful into the air, and it did the same thing it did on your other wishes, yet this time the furthest ahead fate began to turn into a bright gold color, similar to the one he was enveloped in when he first descended from the sky.

you began to bounce on your toes, holding your hands out as a few weapons began to appear. a few swords, books, a stray debate club or two, when finally a weapon encased in gold fell into your grasp. it was a bell.

holding in your excitement, you closed your eyes, muttering the same words you had said to scaramouche to the weapon. multiple colors began to rush into it, and at some point it had even begun to glow a different color. once it was done, you faced scara.

taking his hand in yours, you gave him the weapon, giving him a sweet smile as you spoke a few words he swore he would never forget.

"welcome home, scara."

#genshin #genshin impact #scaramouche x reader #genshin fluff #genshin fanfic #genshin impact scaramouche #scaramouche #genshin scaramouche #genshin headcannons #genshin scenarios #genshin scaramouche fluff #genshin scaramouche x reader #etsuven #scaramouche fluff #scaramouche genshin impact #kunikuzushi

[studentbyday]

30 days of intentionality

starting this challenge with the goal of taking it one day at a time. i have a hard time doing that these days. i spend more time ruminating on the past or worrying about the future than staying in the present, even if that's when i'm most content. not sure how i'll format my posts and most likely, i'll only do weekly updates bc daily ones are too overwhelming. i'll just go with the flow, trying to trust that everything will end up as it's meant to be and maybe i'll be more productive as focusing primarily on the present moment becomes a habit.

---

1. suo gân (arr. john williams for the ambrosian junior choir): i believe that if everyone lived by the idea of global citizenship and so saw the humanity in every individual from every background, there would be no war. reading the news fills me with fear, sorrow, and anxiety, but i also feel the responsibility to stay informed. did some studying today, more than yesterday, but it was kind of uncomfortable with the state of global politics lurking in the back of my mind. i'm still a little behind on school.

2. souvenir de paganini (chopin): today is not so bad. i'm making progress academically, but i do need to make time for social activities soon or i will get lonely and lose what little motivation i have very quickly.

3. once upon a december (arr. emile pandolfi): sometimes in the face of events and issues much bigger than myself that i have no control over, i feel like my dreams are pointless bc i think there's no way achieving them or trying to achieve them could possibly empower me to make real and important change that can truly benefit many. who knows if the future would even allow me to get that far. there are many things that could change the course of our lives that we don't have control over. but if others in worse situations than me and others much better informed than me can still have hope, then so can i. i didn't do much other than pharmacology and a little bit of philosophy today. i made more progress in pharmacology than expected, but that's only bc i didn't do any psych work. i also earned a few more mastery points on khan academy's integrated math 1 (not a priority, i know, but i wanted an easy win) and started lab tasks. i'm far from done with that, i need to do a little every day... i don't want to let them down! 🥺 (note to self: lying in bed is maybe NOT a good study break activity bc that just makes me not wanna do anything else after that and it's very very very hard to get out of that procrastination rut once i let myself fall into it.) 4. let's stay together (al green): everything should be going well, except i'm easily overwhelmed, and this time, it wasn't in an openly frazzled way, it was in a tired and slightly defeated "what's the point?" way, so i didn't realize it as quickly as i usually do. after some bed rest, cuddles 🧸, listening to steve jobs' commencement speech, and a little yoga, i felt better. "You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future." was something i didn't know i needed to hear today. i modified my to-do list and found that the list of things i "must do" was nearly as long as the list of things i "want to do" 😅

5. kreutzer sonata, movt. 1 (beethoven): pretty sure i've mentioned some of these songs before but...they really fit the mood! sometimes i feel things so strongly that i develop a tightening in my chest that can only be relieved in a scream... since i can't actually scream and i don't actually really like the physical feeling of it, i scream through exercise and music 😅 beethoven is very nice for when i'm feeling very annoyed or angry, especially if it's an anxious kind of angry or if it's anger at injustice/inequality. i can't find a piano solo version that does the fiery spirit of the violin justice. so in the vague future when i actually play this, either i try (and perhaps fail) to replicate that on the piano, or i find a violinist friend who would want to play with me 😅 right now though, imagining how i would physically create that sound on the piano will have to be enough. the prevailing thought/feeling of the day: sometimes i just really wanna believe in the good in people and believe that i can trust (some of) them. i long for that feeling of safety in a broader irl community that i actually belong in. i'm surprised by how often i long for it. but then my negativity is reinforced by news and people's opinions on it.

6. violin sonata no. 1 in g minor, bwv 1001 (j.s. bach): stuff was done. i felt calm/chill throughout the day, but even tho i feel good whenever that happens, it usually means i don't get an extraordinary amount of things done that day (lol since when do i ever). i'm not sure if it's enough, as there is still lots to do and i'm pretty sure that it's just wishful thinking that i'll achieve all my goals for this week by its end. i need to cut down my goals list to the realistic rather than idealistic version as always (school, lab, and basic self-maintenance tasks) 😅 gaawwwdd i hope i can do this...good night.

7. waltz in a minor, b. 150 (chopin): today and yesterday i have been able to keep my phone time under an hour. the days are blissful (if not at least calmer) and focused. 📚

8. only mine (laufey): cuddles in bed while listening to laufey is so soothing 🧸 takes me back to my childhood listening to lullabies in the dark 🥺 motivation to study is hard to find today. i just want to relax 🥺 i'll just do one tiny thing and see where i wanna go from there...

#30doi #30 days of intentionality #100dop #studyblr #philosophy studyblr #bioinformatics #premedblr #dark academia #study aesthetic #digital diary #heydilli #heyfrithams #astudentslifebuoy #brown aesthetic #vintage aesthetic #heyzainab #warm aesthetic #cafe aesthetic #cozy academia #romantic academia #classic academia #light academia #chaotic academia #highly sensitive person #100 days of productivity #100 days of studying #100 days of self discipline #music recs #song of the day #inspirational quotes