#idk man those lyrics just hit pretty close to home

[thepunkmuppet]

does anyone else think bug is very trans-coded?? I mean his whole story is about breaking out of societal expectations and feeling trapped in his expected / assigned role and physical body. and when he becomes male human, finally able to live in the role he wants to live in for a short time, he loves it, and when he becomes a bug again he knows on the inside that he really is a man starship ranger, and everyone in his life sees him that way too. I mean it probably wasn’t intentional, but the themes and the subtext is all right there and I definitely read him that way (although I do accept the fact that that may just be because I, too, want to be joey richter)

#idk man those lyrics just hit pretty close to home #it’s a personal headcanon / idea of mine that just really sits well with me #lgbtq+ #trans #transgender #ftm #starkid #team starkid #starkid starship #starship #starship bug #joey richter

[marieabubb08]

Playlist

Songs I associate with Haikyuu characters:

Taylor Swift Ver.

Kageyama Tobio - Gorgeous (Reputation Album)

OCEAN BLUE EYES-

ITS ALREADY INDICATED IN THERE HONEY

But for real the song screams tsundere and Kags is EXACTLY that

The chorus with the "You're so gorgeous" and "Cause look at your face" fits well too

LIKE DONT LIE TO ME, KAGEYAMA IS TOO PRETTY LIKE WHA-

Now does he listen to this song? Probably not

I don't see Kageyama liking music too much

He may like some songs but he doesn't religiously listen to them

Oikawa Tooru - All of The Girls You've Loved Before (Lover Album)

We all know Oikawa is a bit of a playboy

Therefore, no matter what you say I would always believe that he has A LONG LIST OF EX LOVERS Blank Space Style

Now why didn't I choose Blank Space?

Well I dont really see him as someone toxic

Well yeah, he is annoying in the show and all but I do believe that he is a gentleman especially to girls.

HE HAS A SISTER WHAT DID YOU EXPECT?!

(I always notice that men with sister/s especially if they are really close, are gentlemen)

And seeing how he's close with his nephew means he is close with his sister.

AND HE IS A HUGE MAMA'S BOY, IF YOU DO NOT AGREE WITH ME PLEASE RESPECTFULLY SHUT UP

Now would he listen to this?

YES, YES HE WOULD

Probably because he's heard someone he knows (ahem ahem Makki ahem ahem) listening to this and immediately liked it

Its not his favourite, but definitely its on his playlist

Sugawara Koushi - Cruel Summer (Lover Album)

okay okay okAY OKAY HEAR ME OUT-

It doesnt symbolise Suga that much

Well except for the bridge part, because it kind of screams him

But speAKING OF THE BRIDGE

I KID YOU NOT HE SCREAMS THAT SHIT ON THE TOP OF HIS LUNGS

Imagine you're his neighbour and at 2 in the morning he starts screaming "HE LOOKS UP GRINNING LIKE A DEVIL-"

Tell me he wont do it, because he would

But like I said earlier, I do believe the bridge fits him

"I'm drunk in the back of the car and I cried like a baby coming home from the bar. Said I'm fine but it wasnt true. I dont want to keep secrets just to keep you and I snuck in through the garden gates every night that summer just to seal my fate. I scream for whatever it's worth, "I love you" aint that the worst thing you've ever heard. He looks up grinning like a devil"

I had to type all that-

BUT THIS LINE JUST SCREAMMMMS SUGAWARA KOUSHI TO ME

Akaashi Keiji - Willow (Evermore Album)

OKAY I'M EXCITED FOR THIS

I was about to choose Enchanted but Willow feels more up his alley

I could just probably put up the whole Evermore and Folklore album for this man and it would fit

And btw those two are probably what he considers one of the best albums ever

Timeskip spoilers!

We all know he majored in literature and so he is probably into deep metaphors and similes and Willow has that.

He also seems like the type to like old and magical themes which is WILLOW wow who knew

But really, this would be on his playlist along with Cardigan, some old 80s music and Radwimps

NOW THE SONG JUST FITS HIM SOOOO MUCH

The instrumental of the song is so simple yet very dimensional

AND THE THAT'S MY MAN LINE, LIKE YESSS HE IS THAT MAN

Akaashi Keji is definitely that price we'd cheat to win, don't lie

Kuroo Tetsurou - Getaway Car (Reputation Album)

THIS SCREAAAAMSSS KUROO TETSUROU

From the music to the lyrics dAMN IT-

He is the best of times and the worst of crimes ISTG-

(But I'd defo not be the first to leave if I was with THE Kuroo Tetsurou)

BUT ANOTHER ONE WHERE HE SHOUTS THE LYRICS DEADASS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING NIGHT

Bet when he comes early for practice, you can hear him screeching "X MARKS THE SPOT WHERE WE FELL APART" inside the gym

Scared the crap out of Lev once tbh

It's definitely one of his most replayed songs in his playlist

He isnt much of a fan of Taylor, but he just vibes with the song

The type of vibe where he'll dance like a worm when the chorus hits

But Getaway Car just screams Kuroo to me idk why

Atsumu Miya - Back to December (Speak Now Album)

wait wait waIT WAIT-

I know you might be asking WHY THIS SONG?

To which my answer is....

I DONT KNOW

He just feels like a person who would listen to sad/heartbreak songs

He's sappy like that

Probably listens to this, Heartbreak Anniversary, Secret Love Song etc etc

When he listens to this, he would start pulling up with the sad face like he's in a FOOKING MUSIC VIDEO

DONT TELL ME HE DOESNT LISTEN TO THIS AS HE WALKS SLOW WITH A FROWN LIKE HE'S STARRING IN AN MV

But when he's at home he definitely sings this peacefully until the bridge part.

"Back to December all the time........I MISS YOUR TANNED SKIN! YOUR SWEET SMILE!! SO GOOD TO ME SO RIGHTT!"

Lmfao it always wakes Osamu up from his naps so hey its all good for him only

Miya Osamu - Lover (Lover Album)

It is basically cannon that the twins are absolute opposites of each other.

And so, I am sure their music preference are also different.

While Atsumu likes those heartbreaking, Whitney Houston-like lyrics with high energy backgrounds, Osamu likes those romantic, suave songs with acoustic guitars and small drums on the instrumentals.

So Lover was my number one pick.

This MAN IS A ROMANTIC IN MY HEADCANNON, DO NOT CHANGE MY MIND

Can you jussttttt imagine him cooking whilst swaying his hips oN THIS SONG AHBSHSVSHWVWHWV FANGIRLING HARD RN FAM

But yeah, I feel like the whole Lover album is up his alley.

But unlike Atsumu, his singing is pretty chill, no unnecessary screeching and screaming.

Tsukishima Kei - Mastermind (Midnights Album)

So we all agree that this song is Tsukishima's, right?

HAVE YOU SEEN THAT ICONIC MOMENT FROM SEASON 3? GODDAMN HE PLANNED THAT SHIT FROM THE BEGINNING I CANNAT-

Back to the regular programming-

What I am saying is that he felt like a mastermind in that episode😉

JUST FROM THE LINES: "What if I told you none of it was accidental?" or "I laid the groundwork and then, just like clockwork the dominoes cascaded in a line."

Sums up his whole character probably

HE LISTENS TO THIS AGREE TO DISAGREE

I feel like the whole aesthetic of Midnights fit him

HE IS LITERALLY THE ANTI-HERO OF HAIKYUU DO NOT TALK TO ME-

Mastermind is not his favourite but he doesn't hate or dislike it, its in the middle category for him.

Him listening to Vigilante Shit on those white Apple headphones

Tendo Satori - Shake It Off (1989 Album)

TENDO IS A SWIFTIE, HE IS OKAY!

Shake it off is a fun ass song and there is no way he doesnt love this bop

HE DANCES TO THIS RELGIOUSLY OKAY

The lyrics also moves his heart

We all know that his childhood was pretty rough due to bullies (And maybe even when he was in high school he still had them)

So with the lyrics' positivity, it makes his heart lighter.

HE HUMS THIS WHILE HE WRAPS HIS FINGERS WITH TAPE BEFORE PRACTICING HIS BLOCKS

Let me bet you that Ushijima asked him once what the song was because he sings it EVERYDAY, and Ushijima already memorised the harmony AHAHAHAH

He becomes EXCITED and started babbling about Taylor and how he should consider being a Swiftie while Ushijima listens

He may or may not have converted Ushijima into one

HAIL LORD TENDO, THE BEST ADVERTISER TO TAYLOR AFTER USHIJIMA TO SHIRATORIZAWA

Just noticed almost all of these were the setters- Definitely not intentional😶

Part two?

Not Edited

#haikyuu #haikyuu hc #headcannons #taylor swift #playlist #marieabubb08 #reputation #lover #speak now #midnights #1989 album #shake it off #gorgeous #back to december #mastermind #getaway car #evermore #folklore #willow #cruel summer #all of the girls you loved before #haikyuu!! #anime

[n0brainjustvibes]

mucka blucka (intro into cacophony) by Chonny Jash is a huge Shallan song (unfortunately it works even better when you know chonny jash lore which i doubt you know)

OUGHBH GOD YEAG. even from the album cover I can see it's gonna be good. alas I do not know the lore but I'll do my best!

huh this kinda fits with how much she controls and conditions her own mental state...

she do be a bard (Lightweaver)

yeah! this lyric is also a kenzie lyric btw :)

and now i. am having Emotions about shallan using jokes and stories and art as emotional first-aid for her brothers. shallan the emotional field medic, putting pressure on the wound even as the bullets rain down. she's a bit like kaladin with bridge 4. trying her damnedest to help those around her even in an actively traumatising situation.

LMAO, OKAY, THERE'S LOW HANGING FRUIT HERE...

...but I'm really more invested in this bit, which I think also fits her past. Trying to help her brothers but knowing that the abuse just keeps recurring.

GOD, FUCK, YEAH. yeah. YEAH. that's her past. we've seen the effects of Lin's abuse of her brothers, now we're seeing the trauma he inflicted on her by forcing her to put up the perfect-daughter facade in front of guests - the me that's shown to everyone else. "Gets paraded" also hits; I think Shallan's past was a lot more dehumanising than many people realise, that she was treated in large part as an ornament to use. And "stuck underground" fits with how she's restricted physically to the house, restricted socially to her family and immediate guests, restricted emotionally and unable to express herself except in fear behind closed doors, restricted intellectually with her neglected education.

fits on vibes alone! the contradiction of shallan davar. I'm sure there's way more to say about this too. To me, it's Shallan in Kharbranth - pride in what education she did manage to scrape, and joy in her newfound freedom, clashing with her hidden mission to steal Jasnah's Soulcaster, her shame at realising how insufficient her education was, and the echoes of her father (and mother, though I won't elaborate because spoilers for the asker)'s treatment on her self-esteem. Also, she's seeing Pattern here, and thinks she's going mad. Fun times!

The "I/We" pronoun shift is also interesting. Someone who knows more about DID could probably say more about it than me, but from what I understand DID develops to deal with trauma, and some alters take on more(?) of that trauma - so maybe this shows the Three system as a whole taking on the burden, while Shallan gets a breather to act as a more carefree scholar? But then again, I'm pretty sure she wasn't plural yet at this point, so idk if it would work that way.

AND SPEAKING OF THE THREE AS A SYSTEM!! I don't think this necessarily maps directly onto the Three, but it's kind of the same idea, right? Different parts of oneself to take on traumas/'tolls'.

And this is exactly what Shallan consciously wants, thinks she needs, but must move away from as a Lightweaver. She must admit truths about 'the man behind the lines', whom she hides with jokes and art, to progress in her Oaths and character arc.

This whole part feels like her trying to turn Pattern away at the start of their bond. Which I don't recall whether she did, but feels like something she would do.

[cough] LIGHTWEAVER!!!!!!

This bit reminds me of how Hoid tried to help out younger Shallan, iirc, encouraged her, but she still had to go back to her home and experience further trauma.

h.ough. yeag. don't really have anything to say abt this. i think this fits something (someone?) that happens in RoW, but spoilers.

[deep breaths]. holy shit. that was. a Lot. um. yeah really good song about trauma and identity and fracturing of the self and art as a means for concealing, expressing, and shaping one's identity! incredibly shallan. and incredibly Three.

#shallan davar #not all Shallan songs are Three songs imo but this one is definitely both #banger tunes for my blorbos #stormlight archive

[goldenkirstein]

drunk aot boys hc's

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

anonymous requested: Hey Raf, can I request some headcanons about what type of drunk Jean, Eren and Armin are and how they act when drunk, both in general and around their s/o? And you know, if they know their limits or don’t care because they enjoy being drunk and stuff. I just had this really random thought of Jean starting to give compliments to EVERYONE (and Eren is so weirded out when Jean tells him how soft his hair looks) and now I can’t stop wondering what they’d be like so yeah 😂

pairing: jean x gn! reader, eren x gn! reader, armin x gn! reader

wc: 1.3k+

tags: fluff, suggestive content, mentions of alcohol, vomiting, violence/aggression,

a/n: kind of got a little suggestive, but there's no smut. hope you enjoy reading, thank you for the request !!

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

armin arlert:

He knows his limit, and on most days, he won’t drink past that, but sometimes on particularly stressful days, Armin thinks, one more drink won’t hurt. That thought is what gets him in trouble.

Usually, he’s easy to fluster when he is sober, but drunk Armin? Everyone is shocked at how unabashedly confident he is.

It does not matter if he has a s/o or not; he will be giggly and touchy and has no filter.

He gets very flushed, rosy cheeks and all.

Eren and Mikasa are unfazed by this; they have seen Armin drunk, but the others are shell-shocked when Armin starts singing back the lewd lyrics they use on him. He whispers them in your ear, and you have to pretend that he isn’t affecting you.

He begins making concoctions that will get him plastered and has to be physically restrained because:

Although it’s fun for him to forget about his worries for a night, he cannot handle his alcohol.

He wakes up with the worst hangovers, says that he will never drink again, which is a lie, but it’s a simple reassurance for the time being.

If everyone thinks he’s flirty and touchy when he’s with them, it just becomes dialed up to 100 when he is with you.

Usually, he gets blushy when you compliment him, but if they try it when he’s drunk? He will dish it back to them ten times worse.

“Yeah, I look pretty? You look even prettier when your clothes are-” “I know I did not hear Armin say what he just said to you. Who knew Arlert had such a foul mouth on him.”

He wants to be touching you 24/7; he’ll lean against you and quietly hum whatever song is playing, and if you push him off to go somewhere, he’ll get whiney and try to follow you wherever you are going.

He’s the type to wait for you outside the bathroom and continue talking to you, that is, if he can’t come inside.

He will try to kiss you, and drunk Armin kisses are almost always sloppy and messy, and as much as you try to push him away, he will end up landing a couple of kisses on your cheek and mouth-’adjacent’ area (his aim is kind of off).

Everyone likes going out to get drinks with him, he’s just fun to be around, and they also love seeing him enjoy himself for once and not worry about everyone else.

eren jaeger:

He is not a lightweight, but like Armin doesn’t get drunk often.

As such, he is usually assigned to taking care of the rest of them.

However, on the rare night where Eren does indulge, he becomes so reckless.

Eren will try to fight everyone, mostly Jean, though. It’s the worst when both of them are drunk and throwing punches (albeit missing most of them).

He will loop you in to participate in his antics, which almost always end up with him on the floor, and you need to pick him up and kiss him better (he plays his injuries up like a drama queen, just to secure a few more of those kisses).

He does get hungover the next day, but he doesn’t mind it too much because it happens so rarely.

Everyone is on high alert when it comes to drunk Eren because nine times out of ten, he is a danger to himself and occasionally can land a pretty mean punch.

One of the things he loves to do before he gets too drunk is to grab your jaw tilt it back to look at him, with a teasing glint in his eyes. He’ll wink at you and pour whatever he’s drinking down your throat and then gently close your mouth. If some of the drink spills from your lips, he’ll lean in and lick it up off your chin before kissing you and walking away to get another drink for himself.

When he’s wasted, he is not nearly as smooth, but Eren still thinks he is. He’ll try to talk to you up, but it’s just slurred words, with a crooked smile he thinks is a smirk.

He won’t be as touchy as Armin is, but there are a good few times where his arms are hooked around your neck, and he’s got you in a bear hug, mumbling, “everyone sucks; they made me get off the bar top, ‘m not talking ‘bout you though, you’re perfect.”

At some point, he does need to be tied up because he doesn’t know when to stop, and he will run away with his drinks if someone tries to take them from him.

When you try to take him home, he won’t recognize that it’s you, and he’ll just keep saying, “I have a partner, and even though you are very pretty, I’m a loyal man.” You just need to wait till he’s almost passed out because he’ll keep up this act as long he’s conscious.

Everyone enjoys his presence, but he can get quite out of control, so he taps out most of the time before he can get too drunk.

Jean Kirstein:

He doesn’t know his limit and, more often than not, crosses it; compared to the other two, he gets drunk more often.

Like Armin, he is a very flirty drunk, but he’s also super sloppy and has no filter whatsoever; he will say the first thing that pops into his mind.

He gets into fights with Eren, mostly because Eren provokes him, but in the same vein, he ends up complimenting Eren, something he would be caught dead doing if he was sober.

“You know what, jaeger? Your hair looks soft, I’ve been trying to figure out what to use for months, and I just can’t figure out your secret.” “Is this some new defensive technique you picked up? How am I supposed to hit you now?”

He genuinely thinks he’s the most competent person in the room, but he’s spewing out gibberish, and you don’t want to hurt his feelings, so you nod and pretend to understand him. Jean thinks his drunk babbling is what’s going to bring total world peace.

Nights with him always end up with Jean puking and spending the rest of the night in your lap, with you running your fingers through his hair. If you dare move your hand from his head, he’ll pout and take your hand and put it back on his head and won’t budge until he feels your fingers against his scalp.

Terrible hangovers; he doesn’t want to speak to anyone and spends the entire day in bed.

He becomes super affectionate with his friends and you. Jean’s a sweet man, but he doesn’t let anyone get to see his vulnerable side, so when he’s drunk, he lets everyone know what he thinks about them.

When Armin isn’t drinking, Jean is usually the one who tries to fluster him the most. When he succeeds, he’ll turn his attention to you and try to make you squirm.

Jean ends up confessing many things when he’s drunk; he tells you that he loves you for the first time when he’s drunk. The following morning, he acts like he doesn’t remember; Jean does, though and ends up properly telling you that he loves you later in the day.

His having no filter and his wayward confessions are also how he gets into fights with Eren. Jean lands a few good punches, but he tires himself out and just opts to hug Eren and tell him how much he appreciates him, despite Eren’s stubbornness.

Everyone loves having him around, but they have to watch out when he gets sappy or look out for him puking (he has ruined a good amount of furniture).

a/n: i hope you enjoyed this !! any feedback is appreciated i don't drink bshshs so i hope this sounded sorta realistic idk, i'm getting through the last couple of my requests now :)

taglist: @c0urtn3y, @depressedbisexual, @dai-tsukki-desu, @clean-soap, @nevcrmxre, @conniesspringersgf, @glittrkink

click here to join my taglist

As always, please leave a like/reblog if you enjoyed this, I appreciate it lots <33

#aot x reader #attack on titan x reader #aot headcanons #jean kirstein x reader #jean kirschtein x reader #eren jaeger x reader #jean x reader #armin x reader #armin arlert x reader #eren yeager x reader #jean kirstein headcanons #eren jaeger headcanons #armin arlet x reader #armin arlert headcanons #aot fluff #snk headcanons #snk x reader #snk fluff #jean kirstein fluff #eren jaeger fluff #armin arlert fluff #eren fluff #jean fluff #armin fluff #jean kirstein #jean kirschtein #eren jaeger #eren yeager #armin arlert #armin arlet

[lethal-liability]

Ari's ranking of Imagine Dragon's discography

Here's something literally no one asked for! Anyway rankings are out of 10 and I'll have album stats at the end. Also any songs in the EPs that would later appear on Night Visions are just going under the album. I know that'll screw with their averages but I don't really care.

Imagine Dragons (2009) average rating: 7.2

I Need A Minute: 6/10 A nice fun song I used to like dancing around my room to. The lyrics are completely incomprehensible but I guess that's the point, I like it. The vocals are just a little bit too low

Uptight: 7/10 Funky beat, I really like the synth. I didn't listen to this one much as a kid but I really missed out this song kinda fucks.

Cover Up: 7/10 Some more funky bass and synth, getting into some of the more poetic lyrics that I like from them. Pretty solid.

Curse: 9/10 This 👏 was 👏 my 👏 favorite 👏 song 👏 back 👏 in 👏 the 👏 day 👏 Here's where my bias comes in cause this one gets an extra point purely for that. The lyrics don't really make sense but I would lay up at night coming up with complex amvs in my head to go along with it :) Still holds up to 11 y/o Ari's love.

Drive: 7/10 Again, another one I never really listened to as a kid. It's a pretty good, relaxing song, really different from the rest of the upbeat songs on the EP.

Hell and Silence (2010) average rating: 6.75

All Eyes: 6/10 Another funky song, nothing really special but pretty solid

I Don't Mind: 4/10 Honestly not a fan of this one, the synth is kinda annoying and the lyrics are kinda irritating

Selene: 8/10 Idk what to say I just like this song :)

Emma: 9/10 Honestly pretty much the same as Selene but with a chiller vibe, I like the raspier vocals. Extra points for that nearly yelled bridge HELL AND SILENCE I CAN FIGHT IT

It's Time (2011) average rating: 4.2

Tokyo: 3/10 Look I'm a sucker for funky synth OKAY. I don't speak Japanese but I don't have to to tell you Dan's pronunciation is really cringy. Deducting points for the kinda fetishy lyrics too.

The River: 8/10 This is one of those songs I like to listen to when I'm sad to make myself sadder so I can cry my feelings out. It's got a pretty, soothing melody and nice lyrics.

Leave Me: 2/10 This song used to make the feminism leave my body as a kid but I just can't bring myself to really do that anymore lmao. Come on Dan, that's two kinda gross songs on one album :/

Pantomime: 2/10 I. Really did not like this song as a kid. Like I had a playlist on youtube of all their music except this song. I was right.

Look How Far We've Come: 6/10 Hearing this song for the first time in like nine years was an experience. Not a bad song but dome of the lines are a little clunky.

Night Visions (2012) average rating: 7.33

Radioactive: 9/10 Ya know this is the song that got them famous and for good reason. It's a good song and great amv fodder.

Tiptoe: 8/10 It's gonna be harder to write about these songs going forward because these are ones I listen to regularly so I know I like them but yeah. Good song.

It's Time: 10/10 Radioactive may have been what got them famous but this was their first real big single and it was my favorite. I'm a big sucker for a mandolin and I think this is where they started to lean more into the folky sound than the synthy sound.

Demons: 9/10 Another one of their songs I used to listen to to cry and I don't listen to it much anymore because of that but it's still a good, poetic song that hits me in the feels.

On Top Of The World: 6/10 My mom had this as her alarm when I was in middle school so I couldn't listen to it for a long time. The lyrics are a little heavy handed sometimes and a little incomprehensible at others but it's an alright little tune.

Hear Me: 8/10 This album is a little confusing because they include some of their older synth heavy songs alongside their newer folky songs, but I won't complain with this song. Frustrated 13 year old me loved this song because I, too, felt that no one ever heard me when I talked. Ya know, 13 y/o things.

Amsterdam: 7/10 I have no idea what this song is about but it's pretty good.

Every Night: 5/10 This was their first and last try at what I call a "first dance bait" song. Ya know like Perfect by Ed Sheeren or Marry Me by Train? It's alright, just really heavy handed.

Bleeding Out: 10/10 Oh emo eleven year old me ate this edgy shit up. Is it a grimdark? Yes. But that's a plus for this song. This song makes me wanna scream every time I listen to it I BARE MY SKIN AND I COUNT MY SINS AND I CLOSE MY EYES AND I TAKE IT IN

Underdog: 6/10 Another cute song, not much to say about this one, it's alright.

Nothing Left To Say: 9/10 ANOTHER another song I cry to, this one still hits home for me. It's pretty and soothing but the lyrics are still heart wrenching. The instrumental at the end is nice and I like to fall asleep to it.

Rocks: 8/10 A nice upbeat song that is a little repetative but it's only about a minute long so it doesn't over stay its welcome.

Working Man: 5/10 This song isn't on spotify so I don't get to hear it often and I actually hadn't heard it in a while when I listened to it to do this. It's kinda trying to be a 9 to 5 type song but it doesn't really do it for me.

Fallen: 8/10 Another song I hadn't heard in a while since it's not on spotify but I'm more of a fan of this one. Another amv bait song to me but one with more of a triumphant vibe to it. I really like the vocals in the chorus.

Cha-Ching ('Til We Grow Older): 8/10 The hook of this song, cha-ching x3, has a big potential to become really annoying like some of their later songs (cough cough, Thunder) but they actually somhow make it work. This song hits me a lot harder now than it did as a kid cause god. Yeah. They're so right. We are all living until we grow older.

Smoke + Mirrors (2015) average rating: 9.06

Shots: 9/10 Hell YES my favorite album finally let's get into this shit. Anyway songs that make me wanna lay in a field of wildflowers. Well the music, the lyrics are pretty depressing. But that's what makes a great song ya know.

Gold: 9/10 Songs about the rich losing their humanity? Hell yeah. I fucking love the percussion and the synth in this one too.

Smoke and Mirrors: 10/10 The under appreciated masterpiece of this album in my humble opinion. Everyone always talks about Dream as the best song on the album but I really think it's this one. That yelled OPEN UP MY EYES gets me all the time I just really really love this song.

I'm So Sorry: 9/10 Real sexy bassline on this one. I can't tell what the fuck this song is about but I don't care because it goes pretty hard.

I Bet My Life: 8/10 I like the gospel vibes, especially the backing vocals, some of them out-sing Dan a little bit. This one also hits a little harder now that I'm grown up a bit.

Polaroid: 8/10 Another one with cool percussion, some of the lyrics are lost on me but I get the overall vibe of it.

Friction: 10/10 I have no clue what that string is at the beginning of the song but man does it fuck hard. God actually everything in this song goes pretty hard, I'm especially a fan of the vocals.

It Comes Back To You: 8/10 Nice chill song, I feel like this is one that's gonna hit in a few years. Not much to say about it tbh besides I like it.

Dream: 10/10 This song really does live up to the hype even if I like other songs better. It's really poetic and well composed. You really just have to listen to it to get it tbh.

Trouble: 8/10 The piano at the beginning is a little grating but it gets better. Again not much to say about this one, it's solid, just not one of my favorites.

Summer: 8/10 Another sexy baseline, another set of incomprehensible lyrics. I like it.

Hopeless Opus: 10/10 This one's a little weird but it was my favorite for a while. I like weird. Idk if anyone would agree with me but this one was kind of a self fulfilling prophecy, this really was a hopeless opus since, in my opinion, they've yet to make album as good as this one. Also. Guitar solo.

The Fall: 10/10 I like to put this song on when we get the first cold snap of the year after summer :) It's just really chill and I like the vibes and the vocals

Thief: 10/10 AAAAHHHHHH SONGS THAT MAKE ME WANNA RUN THROUGH THE WOODS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT

The Unknown: 9/10 Cool percussion, I like the intermediate piano, it's a nice touch.

Second Chances: 9/10 I like the strings and the vocals. Another nice chill song.

Release: 9/10 I like that this one is completely acoustic, it's a nice send off for a great album, if a little depressing.

Evolve (2017) average rating: 5.5

I Don't Know Why: 10/10 I have wanted to choreograph something to this song for the fucking longest time oh my god. I really love the vocals and the synth in this one.

Whatever It Takes: 5/10 This one's alright. It's not great but it's definitely not the worst. Perfectly average pop song.

Believer: 10/10 I am a little bit biased with this one because I use it for my OCs a lot but like. It's a really good song. And I don't watch TV so I haven't gotten it ruined for me by commercials.

Walking The Wire: 6/10 I hadn't listened to this song in a while and it's really not as bad as I remember. I guess you can really tell that he was having marital issues when they made this album and that didn't really connect with me back then. But I'm kinda into a little bit of it now.

Rise Up: 4/10 Another really average, inspirational pop song. I like the raspiness of Dan's voice in most songs but it sounds so over processed in this song I can't stand it.

I'll Make It Up To You: 3/10 Wow okay never mind the marital issues vibe is coming back real heavily in this one. Idk it's just such Straight People vibes, I don't like it :/

Yesterday: 1/10 I associate this song with someone I don't talk to anymore and really wanna forget so it's kinda running at a deficit already. But. Um. It's not a good song otherwise. It's another weird song but something about this one just doesn't work.

Mouth Of The River: 7/10 I think I liked this one when it came out, idk why I stopped listening to it. It's pretty good. Not great. But I like the river imagery. Well. I like river imagery in general.

Thunder: 2/10 hhhhhhhhhhhh why did they think this was a good idea. Probably their most notorious song, I know a lot of people cite it when they say Imagine Dragons makes shitty music. I just think it's tragic that this is one of the ones that got super popular for some reason. However as someone who teaches children's dance classes, however annoying you think this version is, you haven't heard anything until you have to listen to the KidzBop version twice a week for a year. Not a complete 0 because I do like some of the vocals that aren't. That Part.

Start Over: 6/10 Another one I hadn't heard in a while, but it's pretty groovy. Not as heavy handed as some of the other songs, and that flute in the chorus is pretty cool.

Dancing In The Dark: 8/10 I like this one a lot, the processing on the vocals is a little wonky but I like the vibes.

Next To Me: 4/10 Yeah this was the "please don't divorce me" song. It's. alright. Really heavy handed, they probably should've waited to release this one but you know.

Origins (2018) average rating: 4.8

Natural: 10/10 Another one I'm biased for because I associate it with a beloved OC. But It's still a good song. I like it.

Boomerang: 5/10 Another song that just has an awkward hook with awkward delivery.

Machine: 9/10 I like this song a lot more now that I know the band is really outspoken about their experiences with mormanism and escaping it. But the irony of a song with a nonconformist message from a pop band is not lost on me.

Cool Out: 5/10 Idk I don't have much to say about this one. It's alright.

Bad Liar: 4/10 Oh boy more divorced dad energy. Hhhhhh I'm getting burnt out on this. For the record I have no problem with people going through things like this, I'm just not into these vibes in my music, especially when they're super desperate like this.

West Coast: 3/10 East coast supremacy. Also why are you trying to be Mumford and Sons.

Zero: 4/10 You know, the Ralph Breaks the internet song? God. That sure was a movie. The song is better, but not by much. It is fun and bouncy but I don't like listening to it too often.

Bullet In A Gun: 5/10 I used to really like this song but now I just associate it with an embarrassing character I used to stan so :/ I do still like the lyrics even if I don't listen to it anymore.

Digital: 3/10 I can't tell if this song is pro or anti technology??? And the electronic melody is annoying.

Only: 4/10 Hhhhhh I'm so tired. I don't like this one.

Stuck: 2/10 idk man. bad.

Love: 3/10 Really trying hard to be the Beatles here. :/ That's really not a compliment.

Birds: 5/10 This one's kinda nice, a little more original but like. I'm so burned out on this theme. hhhhhhhh

Burn Out: 10/10 Speaking of burn out. lmao, no I actually really like this one. I just recently listened to it kinda intently for the first time and I just. Wow. The second verse really gets to me. I feel like this song has a lot of the poeticness I liked from Smoke + Mirrors.

Real Life: 0/10 Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh obligatory "PHONES BAD" song from the folk pop band. At least when Bastille does it they don't literally say "turn your phone off!" in the song. I'm so tired. I'm gonna take a nap before I listen to the next album.

Mercury - Act 1 (2021) average rating: 7.46

Okay I'm still tired but let's do this. Also I've only heard this album like three times so far so this ranking is most definitely gonna change as I listen to it more.

My Life: 9/10 Holy shit this song is fucking heart wrenching and I first listened to it at like just the perfect time for me to ball like a baby listening to it. Literally my only gripe is I wish the tempo would've picked up a little bit earlier.

Lonely: 9/10 This song is equally fucking depressing but it's upbeat and I eat that shit up. The vocals are a little weird sometimes but I really like the pre-chorus a lot.

Wrecked: 8/10 Okay so this album is just gonna be gut punch after gut punch huh? Look, I was really going through some shit when they dropped this album so I like really connected with a lot of it. But yeah I like this song.

Monday: 4/10 Alright. Not a fan of this one. The metaphor is kinda cute I guess, even if it implies that like literally everyone else things your sweetheart is fucking insufferable. Actually. Who tf thinks monday is the best day of the week? Like what kind of person? But, uh, musically, it's kinda annoying.

#1: 7/10 Self-care babie!!!!!!! Okay but this is a nice song. Yes we all need to learn self love it's a fucking journey babe.

Easy Come Easy Go: 9/10 I really like this one, it might be my favorite on the album. My only gripe is the bridge/3rd verse/whatever it's called is a little bit clunky

Giants: 8/10 god DAMN those vocals. This is another kinda weird song but I'm into this one like I am with Hopeless Opus.

It's Okay: 7/10 Honestly I'm kinda tired of hearing "it's okay to be not okay" Like yeah I've been depressed for most of my life now I think I got that at this point. But I am a fan of "I don't want this body, I don't want this voice, I don't wanna be here but I guess I have no choice." Like damn even my gender crisis? Y'all are really just hitting all my nails from the past year right on the head huh?

Dull Knives: 9/10 OKAY ROCK RIFF I HEAR YOU, I just wish it would've lasted through the song instead of going slow again during the second chorus. But yeah, songs that make me wanna scream in the woods in the middle of the night.

Follow You: 8/10 ME AND WHO???????

Cutthroat: 9/10 HELLO AMV BAIT I MISSED YOU I wish it was longer. Also, love Dan's screamo debut I wish he'd just fucking scream his throat raw more often.

No Time For Toxic People: 4/10 okay I think we've established that I'm not a fan of completely unsubtle songs so I don't think it should be a shock that I'm not a fan of this one. The music doesn't really save it either.

One Day: 6/10 M E A N D W H O ? ? ? Not as much of a fan of this one as Follow You though.

Additional Singles but only one's I've already heard because fuck you there are so many of these

Battle Cry: 6/10 I thought this one was from some soundtrack but idk. A transformers movie I think? I can't find anything on it. Anyway, okay song. I like the line stars are only visible in darkness. The rest of the song is kinda repetitive

Born To Be Yours: 8/10 I like this song a lot. I have no idea who Kygo is but I'm a fan of this beat. For the record, this is more something I would use for my first dance.

Destination: 6/10 Another song I haven't hear in a while. I enjoy the vocals from the other band members. But it is an itunes sessions song so it's a little messy, probably could have been better if they'd recorded it as a regular song.

I Was Me: 7/10 A nice sad acoustic song, not much to say, I like it

Levitate: 6/10 This one is from that Jennifer Lawrence Crisp Rat movie no one saw. It's okay. I like the sci-fi vibes.

Lost Cause: 4/10 This one is from the Frankenweenie soundtrack of all things. This is another grimdark edgy song, but it just doesn't have the staying power to me that Bleeding Out did.

Monster: 8/10 This song was my fucking jam as a kid and was the song that got me into Nightcore in middle school so you know it's important to me. Still a big fan of it.

Not Today: 7/10 I actually saw the movie this was from, Me Before You. I would say this is another first dance bait song but I think they were just trying to match the vibes of the movie. The song is better than the movie though. In case you were wondering.

Ready! Aim! Fire!: 7/10 continuing the trend of songs from soundtracks, apparently this song is from Iron Man 3? Seems kinda weird to put a song about rebellion and revolution in a movie about a billionaire 🤔🤔🤔. Anyway it has a more electronic, industrial sound than most of their stuff which i appreciate. Still have to deduct points for being from a marvel movie though oops.

Roots: 10/10 Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh I love this song. Another another biased one because I associate it with one of my OCs but like. It's a good song.

Sucker For Pain: 5/10 Ya know that song from the Suicide Squad soundtrack? The masochist anthem? It's alright, I mean Dan's part is probably the best, the rap is okay I guess, I'm not a huge rap fan so I don't really know what constitutes a good rap. I guess the appeal of this song was all the big names but it just gets tiresome that there's a new voice every 30 seconds. Really gimmicky but Lil Wayne's part is kinda funny so I'll give it that.

Warriors: 8/10 More amv bait, another one I could've sworn this was from some soundtrack but I can't find anything on it. Pretty solid song.

Who We Are: 6/10 This sing is from one of the Hunger Games Movies, I can't remember which one though. Anyway it's fucking incomprehensible but I like it.

Conclusion

Okay so in order from Highest to Lowest ranked the albums and EPs are

Smoke + Mirrors: 9.06

Mercury - Act 1: 7.46

Night Visions: 7.33

Self Titled: 7.2

Hell and Silence: 6.75

Evolve: 5.5

Origins: 4.8

It's Time: 4.2

See and this is completly objective because if you had asked me to rank my favorite albums I would've put Night Visions above Mercury 😠 I did have a good time going back and listening to a lot of old songs I hadn't heard in forever

anyway I'm tired and this post no one asked for is over 3k words so I am going to bed good fucking night

#long post #even with the read more hhhhhh #oh well #anyway #enjoy the most basic band that I like lmao #imagine dragons #ari screams into the void

[samwilsonsbabymama]

Baby, It’s You

18+

Pairing: Sam Wilson x Black Reader

Summary: @princessmisery666​ sent in this prompt

*electric slides back into your asks* Sam spends a full week playing old r’n’b songs about getting married/being in love. But his gf doesn’t get the hint, she’s just like “damn this is my jam, dance with me babe.” How she figures it out or Sam just asks is dealers choice 🤷🏼‍♀️ songs for inspo. Jagged Edge - Lets Get Married. Next - Wifey. New Edition - Something About You. 112 - Only You.

Warnings: Fluff, smut, more fluff, sex in the kitchen, fingering, bad singing and more fluff, dirty talk, and ummm... idk what else lol 💖

Word Count: 1,800ish

A/N: This was fun to write lol i feel like i haven’t written a full Sam fic in a while and I’m glad that I got the chance to lol I hope yall like it!

Songs used

Happily Ever After by Case

You by Jesse Powell

Let’s Get Married by Jagged Edge

You heard the music as soon as you pulled into the driveway. This was the third day in a row that Sam beat you home, and each day music flowed from the house while he waited for you to come home. 

When you entered, Sam was in the kitchen already starting preparing dinner. You walked up behind him and wrapped your arms around his waist. You felt him relax into your embrace before he turned his head and greeted you with a kiss. 

“Hey, baby girl,” Sam said after he had pulled away causing you to pout at the loss of his lips.

“I missed you today,” you responded as you relaxed against his back. You felt his muscles move as he continued preparing dinner.

He hummed in agreement. “Why don’t you go get changed then come help me?” you loved cooking with Sam, so you scampered away to your shared bedroom to change.

When you returned, Sam had already set aside some vegetables for you to chop and a glass of wine. While you chopped, you and Sam sang along to the music that was playing.

You don't have to look no further than me (don't look no further, baby yeah)

You don't need much more than my lovin' to make you happy (I'm so happy, babe)

Beneath the side of God, I will make this vow to you (come on baby)

I'll be right here, stay with me (stay with me, baby hey)

“I remember when I realized that was Beyonce in that video,” you laughed when the song ended. “I watched that video on repeat asking myself how I didn’t see it.”

Sam just chuckled, but he didn’t respond as the next song started.

“This is my JAM, Sam!” you said before you cleared your throat getting ready to attempt some high notes that you knew you weren’t going to hit. “I love this song so much.”

I've finally found the nerve to say

I'm gonna make a change in my life

Starting here today

Sam started singing before you could start and you laughed. You both knew that Sam was the better singer between the two of you and that he would be the one to make money from singing if he ever quit his day job.

But when the chorus began, there was no way to keep you from holding out that note.

“And baby, it’s you!” your voice wavered as you held out the tune. Your eyes tearing up as you strained to hold the note.

Sam filled in the background lyrics as you continued to attempt the high notes in the chorus, but he took over for the chorus.

Next year lets call this day our anniversary

The day I put my heart in your hand

And said that it was yours to keep

From this moment on say that you'll always be mine

Cause girl when I'm alone with you

There's only one thing that's on my mind

“I gotta try those high notes again,” you laughed skipping the first one when the chorus repeated. You took in a deep breath and prepared to belt out the note.

“FROM THIS DAY FORTH!!!!!!” you closed your eyes as you sang, internally wishing that you had taken a deeper breath before you started. You stretched out your hand imitating Jesse Powell in the video as you sang.

When you reached the end of the note, you took in another deep breath and opened your eyes to find Sam smiling at you. Instead of letting you continue singing, Sam turned the music down and reached for your left hand.

“Sam, wha-” you began but stopped talking when he shook his head.

“I don’t know how to say this, y/n,” he began, and you could tell that he was nervous.

“I know that I can’t sing, Sam,” you laughed, “we’ve been through this before.”

“That’s not- I mean, it’s true, but that’s not what I wanted to say,” he laughed. “I’ve practiced this at least a dozen times already and after each time I feel like I know what I’m going to say but I can’t seem to remember what I had planned out because every time I look at you my mind goes blank and I can’t seem to remember anything other than how much I love you and how much you’ve made my life better and-”

“Sam!” you interrupted. “You’re not making any sense.” You were laughing at the way he was acting because you had never seen him so nervous before.

He sighed and rubbed his hand over his face and was silent for a moment. While you waited for him to continue, the music changed and after the first few beats of the song played, everything clicked.

See first of all

I know these so-called playas wouldn't tell you this

But I'ma be real and say what's on my heart

You raised your right hand and placed it on your chest, “Sam,” you whispered. You tried to pull your hand away from him, but he held on tight.

“Just, hear me out.” He let out a deep breath and locked eyes with you. “Y/n, we’ve been together for a while, hell, practically our entire lives. We’ve grown together, and I don’t see me loving anyone else but you. You’ve made me a better man than I thought was possible.” 

Sam knelt down onto one knee and pulled out a ring from his back pocket. “I want to spend my forever with you. Will you marry me, y/n?”

Your eyes were clouded with tears as you thought about the events of the last few days. Sam had been trying to propose to you. All of the love songs, the flowers, him coming home before you. You hadn’t noticed because this was typical behavior from Sam; he was constantly showering you with love and affection.

You wiped the tears from your eyes before you wrapped your arms around Sam’s neck and drew him in for a kiss. His arms immediately went to your waist as you kissed. Your hands moved to the front of his shirt as you began plucking the buttons open. You wasted no time removing the shirt from his body.

As you removed his shirt, Sam worked on removing your shorts and panties. You pulled away for a second and stepped out of your pants and pulled your shirt over your head while Sam stepped out of his.

Your eyes roved over his body as the two of you stood bare before each other for a moment and when your eyes locked once again, the two of you reached for each other and your lips crashed together. 

Your movements were frenzied as you kissed. Sam’s hands gripped all over your body as if he couldn't get enough of you. You wrapped one of your legs around his waist in an attempt to bring him closer, so Sam lifted you up and sat you on the counter. Sam was the first to break from the kiss as he began to move down your neck. He palmed your breast and rolled you nipple between his fingers while leaving a trail of bites down your neck.

Neither of you spoke as he kissed his way down your plump stomach and set your knees on his shoulders. He placed a gentle kiss along your inner thighs and locked eyes with you once again. Your eyes rolled back when he first licked you, drawing out a moan from the both of you. Your eyes snapped open when Sam pulled back. You watched as Sam adjusted himself and got comfortable; he wrapped his arms around your thighs and spread you open to him.

“Such a pretty sight,” he mused before he dove back in.

Your hands shot to his head as he ate you with fervor. You chanted his name over and over as he licked and slurped at your core. You felt yourself getting closer as he ate, and you clenched when he slid a finger inside of you. 

Sam pulled back and continued to fuck you with his finger. “I know you’re close, baby girl” the movement of his finger slowed and he slipped another in. “But you never answered my question.”

Your eyes snapped open at his statement. “S-Sam, please!”

He shook his head, “Nah, I need to hear you say it. I need an answer, baby girl. Will you marry me?” his fingers thrust in time with his words.

You were so close to your release, it was right there. If you moved just right, you knew that you could get it.

As if sensing your thoughts, Sam gripped your hip with his free hand and he completely stopped moving.

Your chest rose and fell a couple of times while you tried to compose yourself. You reached out and cupped Sam’s cheek. With as confident as Sam always was, you could see the vulnerability in his eyes. Sam wasn’t a mind reader, and you needed to reassure him that you were his and his forever.

You locked eyes with Sam and nodded, “Yes, I’ll marry you.”

The smile that graced Sam’s face made your heart swell. And when he swooped down and kissed you, with his fingers still inside of you, you swore you saw stars.

Sam resumed his movements while he kissed you, his fingers moving faster than before. You panted against his lips as he continued to fuck you.

“Cum on my fingers, baby,” he egged you on. “Cum on my fingers so you can cum on my dick next.”

You clenched on his fingers as they sped up.

“You feel so good, so wet and warm,” he praised. “I can’t wait for you to cum on my dick again and again and again.”

You gripped his arm when your legs started shaking, you threw your head back and Sam attached his lips onto your neck.

“That’s it, baby, cum for me. Cum for me, wife.”

So you did. You clenched down hard on Sam’s fingers making it hard for him to continue moving. 

“That’s it, baby girl, fuck you look so good cumming for me like this, Sam praised again.“Spread out on the kitchen counter like the meal you are. I can’t wait to be buried inside of you for the rest of the night.”

A/N 2: If you ‘like’ this, please reblog or leave a comment (even if it’s just an emoji) It would mean so much to me!!!

#sam wilson needs more love #sam wilson x reader #sam wilson x black reader #sam wilson imagine #sam wilson x plus size!black reader #sam wilson x black!reader #maree writes

[iamdorka]

COLSON (x Reader)

Last updated: 2020/04/25

Imagines

I Couldn’t Be More In Love ‘Colson and the reader have been friends since high school. “Friends”. Maybe they were more than that but before they never really spoke about it… and everything was okay until Colson started to act quite strange because the reader started to spend more and more time with his co-worker Harry Styles. ‘ not requested (12/08)  100+ notes

PART II (12/10)

PART III (12/12)

When we were young ‘Heyy I dont know if you’re a fan of adele but there’s this song of hers called when we were young… There’s a lyric there that goes ‘you are just like a movie just like a song’… Could you do one where they are breaking up because of obvious reasons but they’re still in love but they cannot do that anymore. Just her being sorry for what’s happening and like she says something on these lines to him. Her being tired and last goodbye type something.’ requested by  @lovemythsworld (11/24)

IMAGINE ’Basically, it’s involve Colson taking care of the reader during her period please? I just got mine today and I passed out on the floor because I got very dizzy and then I had to run to pharmacy to get more medicine and to the store as I had no food left and all while feeling really bad… ’ requested by @being-worthy​ (11/05)  200+ notes

IMAGINE ‘Make the reaction of Colson knowing that it will be dad!!’ requested    11/03)  100+ notes

IMAGINE – ’Hey girl can you do a imagine where colson is meeting your girlfriends for the first time and he is kinda nervous but they don’t know he is mgk until he walks in with y/n and they get all the tea in the “ladies room” and y/n thinks it’s funny they are so interested because to her colson is colson not mgk’ requested by @britshmgkstan (10/30) 100+ notes

IMAGINE- ’Can I request an imagine of Colson pleasuring himself. And y/n catches him. She watches in secret for a minute then sneaks in to pleasure colson. He is in shock and literally has no words. Really really really smutty pretty please!!! Love you!!!’ requested (10/20)  100+ notes

IMAGINE - ‘Can you do a GC where you and kels are together and you guys decide to play never have I ever and of course it turns sexual and it gets revealed you and kels are in the mile high club’ requested (10/13) 100+notes

Bad dreams - ’Could I ask for a ColsonxReader where there not together yet please? She’s sleeping at their place after a party, has a bad dream, one of those that make you wake up with a jolt, racing heart, it’s very hard to get back to sleep. She goes to the kitchen deciding to stay up but C sees her, asks what she’s doing up. He decides to carry her to his bedroom and just holds her close & tight telling her it was just a bad dream, he’ll protect her, & confesses to her? ’ requested by @being-worthy (10/08) 100+notes

IMAGINE - ‘Hey girl I want to request teaching Spanish to the crew.’ requested by @verywell-fandango (10/06)  100+ notes

Headcanons

IMAGINE „Could I please request a ‘Dating ______ would include:’ bullet point headcanon for Colson, Dom and Pete respectively? I love your writing; thank you 🖤” (04/11)  100+ notes

new puppies.  “How about an imagine with Colson, where his girl adopts two pups (they’re still growing and both are half husky half wolf) because they’re brothers and inseparable and couldn’t let them on their own and because she misses Colson, so she has someone to snuggle with. Colson comes back home after a few months and finds two huge dogs on his side of the bed and they’re growling at him because they think he’s a threat and wont let him get close to her?” requested by @being-worthy ❤ (03/15)

The making of the new album (02/01)  100+ notes

Mad Being mad at him (01/21)  100+ notes

Fashion week… in Paris  Going with Colson to Paris fashion week (01/16) 100+ notes

Fake texts

IMAGINE “Will you write another ColsonxReader quarantine story soon? I’m bored and don’t know what to do with myself… Stay healthy and stay indoors!!!’ requested by @being-worthy 💕 (04/05)

COLD  ‘I feel like these lyrics “You want somebody that’ll keep you warm at night Then, tell me, why you actin’ cold to me?” Would be great for an imagine’ (01/19)

Rehab  ‘Hi, can I request an imagine with Colson inspired by/based on Rehab lyrics. Thank you💜 Love your works💗’ requested by @kiss-yall (01/18)

IMAGINE ‘She said no to him so many times. But she had enough with herself and she decided to have some fun because she knows she deserves it.’ (01/11)

IMAGINE ‘Request for Colson & Y/N teasing texts cause he’s feeling excited late at night! Please & Thank you love your posts!’ requested by @xxkellsvixen19xx .(12/23)  100+ notes

why are you here ‘The one based on Colson’s new song 'WHY ARE YOU HERE’ (12/19)

IMAGINE - ‘Can I request some fluff and funny convo between reader & colson ??? Being in love 😍 making fun of each other idk not too corny’ requested (11/16)

IMAGINE ‘Kells and reader have some history together, but after he texts her one day she doesn’t want to talk to him because she knows the reason behind his texts… and she doesn’t want to get hurt again’ not requested but special thanks to  @echelonwonderland for helping me out (11/15)

IMAGINE ‘When you have time can you write one where he is working on a new movie in another state and she sees this video and she is mad because he has cut his beautiful hair?’ requested by @bakerkells (11/14)

IMAGINE - ‘hiii pumpkin, can i request a text w/ colson about him finally asking y/n to be his girlfriend after talking/dating for months? thank you in advance 💜’ requested (11/12)

IMAGINE ‘Hellooo.. I have a scenario in mind. Could you do an text imagine, where the reader has Colson watch over her puppy while she’s gone? Let’s just say he has a hard time keeping him/her out of trouble. ❤’ requested (11/09)

PART II - the new family member ‘Hi can you do an imagine based on the instagram story Colson put up recently of “well we got a dog in the family now” (I have a screenshot of it if you need it!) And something like hes away on tour and you are looking after Cassie and you two decide to get a dog while Colson is away? Thank you so much in advance xxx’ requested by @sacvf (01/07)

IMAGINE - ‘Can you do a chat imagine where they met the night before at a party an kells asks her on a proper date’ & 'Could I have a MGK request where you’ve just met at a party and exchanged numbers. Later in the night he sees you talking to another guy who is flirting with you so MGK texts you to ask you out before he loses his shot?’ requested by an Anonymous and by @thesetemporaryfeelings (11/08)

IMAGINE ’You’re a new actress and Kells slides into your DMs after watching one of your movies and invites you to his next show?! Love your blog!!!’ requested (11/02)

IMAGINE ‘Hieeya it’s me here again..So today what I had in mind is something like this..Colson and reader are like the chillest kinda friends (the ones where everyone thinks they are dating but they are not.. Cliche I know but pleasee read on) And then reader starts hanging out with a bunch of different different guys.. And colson gets like jealous. (some points it out on their group chat and colson like gets mad and then they talk on dm’s…)’ requested @lovemythsworld​ (11/02)

IMAGINE ‘How about imagine where Y/N is a single mother of a kid (6 y/o idk). Colson and Cassie just met her baby. And Colson texted Y/N how excited he was to finally meet him/her for the first time. And Y/N is kind of confused because she didn’t expect someone to love her child this much. And she tells Colson that her kid is constantly asking about him, and wants him to come back. And Colson wants to see Y/N more often and also he adores her baby. Thanks💜’ requested (11/01)

IMAGINE ‘Ooooh what about reader x MGK where he spots you in the crowd at his show, gets your number and ends up texting/ sexting you that night???’ requested    (10/22)  100+ notes

IMAGINE - ‘can you pls make one where y/n love rock music and always get horny while listen no Marilyn Manson, and suddenly Colson tell her that we will be in his birthday party, and things get kinda hot there? tnx!’ requested (10/19)

IMAGINE ‘can we please have imagine where y/n is sick and grumpy and “doesn’t” want colson to come over and take care of her (but obviouslyyyy she does) thank you 😌’ requested (10/18)

IMAGINE ‘Can you maybe post a text where y/n sees what happened to Kells in his forehead and texts him worried?’ requested (10/18) 100+ notes

IMAGINE - I wanted to write an imagine based of some of my own bad experience with a boy (because writing this things down could help a lot even if it happened a long time ago and I don’t care about it or him anymore but it still an inspiration) then today I.D.G.A.F. by Dua Lipa started to playing on my phone today… AND IT MADE SO MUCH SENSE (it’s heavily inspired by that) hope you like this little thing too. 💜 (10/11)

IMAGINE - ‘Can you try one where colson loses his phone at a cafe he visits and then he texts his number from someone’s phone and the cute waitress who he flirted with before finds the phone and replies and they start getting to know each other and hit it off. You can totally ignore if you find it vague or stupid. I just had a thought.. ♥♥’ requested by @lovemythsworld (10/06)  100+ notes

IMAGINE - ‘My idea is just MGK texting you trying to stop you from breaking up with him.’ requested by @thesetemporaryfeelings (10/05)

IMAGINE - ‘Yn is an actress and her new movie debuted. Colson is a friend (and totally into her) and he texts her how great she was in the movie. Their flirting is really intense and in the end she invites him over her house…(maybe for something juicy? 😏) requested (10/04) 100+ notes

IMAGINE - ‘Can we pleaseee have a text imagine where colson is the one upset and needing his girl? that man is my heart and soul and it breaks my heart to know how much he’s hurting’ requested (09/28) 200+ notes

IMAGINE - ‘I would love to request something if that’s okay! Could I request a Machine Gun Kelly text where he texts you late at night because he hates your boyfriend and thinks you deserve so much better???’ requested (09/26)

IMAGINE - ‘Can I request reader and colson being writing buddies for a new song on her girl group and them being low key flirting with each other?’ requested (09/22) 100+ notes

IMAGINE - ‘hi angel 😍 would you be willing to do one where y/n had a really bad day and just wants to smoke with colson and forget everything? random i know but i’m such a pothead and i just wanna smoke w kells 😂🙈 don’t judge meeee’ requested (09/22)

IMAGINE- ’Can you do one where yn is pregnant. She’s at home due to morning sickness. Mgk is in the studio but checks on her like every second lol also she has weird cravings and after colson leaves the studio he has to bring her pickles and ice cream (or something). Thank you, sweetheart 😊’ requested (09/21)

IMAGINE - ‘Request for texts between Colson & Y/N after seeing an IG post if her from a photoshoot that gets him turned on! Please & thank you love your posts!’ requested by  @xxkellsvixen19xx (09/19)

IMAGINE - ‘Haha can you do this: yn has a fave panty set. She wants to wear it, but just finds the bra, not the panty. She texts mgk (her bf) and she’s sad, that she can’t find it ☹ Turns out Colson took it with him on tour, to have a piece of his gf with him 😄❤’ requested by Anonymous (09/18)

IMAGINE - ‘can you do one where colson and the reader had an argument and are both too stubborn and have too much pride to actually fix it but keep messing with each other being sassy af and all that until one of them cracks (hope any of this made sense) hahaha’ requested by Anonymous (09/17)  100+ notes

IMAGINE - ‘Could you do one where reader just wants to be hold and loved with Colson please?’ requested by Anonymous (09/14)

IMAGINE - ‘Jealous kells text? Pleeeease?’ requested by Anonymous (09/13)

IMAGINE - ‘Can I request readers being upset about being far fron Colson and posting on her Instagram and kells texts her to make her feel better?’ requested by @verywell_fandango (09/11) 100+ notes

IMAGINE - ‘Can you do a imagine where you are on tour with colson and the boys and because he isn’t paying attention to you and your in the mood you send him a nude and rook or slim almost sees it and he punishes you because only he can see you like that’ - requested by Anonymous. (09/10) 100+ notes

IMAGINE - You terribly miss Colson and finding some of his photos with Casie… you start having a really bad baby fever… 😇 but what does he think about it? (09/07) 100+ notes

IMAGINE - ‘Could u write a friends with benefits with colson similar to the one you posted about the instagram story? that’s hot af btw’ (09/06) 100+ notes

  PART II -   - ‘Can you write a follow up to the fwb/hot date one. Maybe she’s having the date now. Even though the guy is hot, he’s so boring. So while he’s in the bathroom, she texts Colson to 'save her from the date’ (like with a phone call or text) so that she can leave the date. Of course she’ll go to colson then 😏 Thank you, you’re awesome! ’ (09/08) 100+ notes

IMAGINE -  Colson is desperate to convince you to go the new IT premiere but the thing is.. you are scared af 🎈🙈’ (09/05) 100+ notes

IMAGINE - ‘Could you do a text for colson where he meets your family and you are at dinner and he texts you from next to you saying how good you look in your dress and how turned on he is and you knew it that’s why you wore the dress so you tease him and sext him and as soon as you finished dinner he punishes you for it’ (09/03, requested by anonymus)

IMAGINE - ‘Colson and Y/N are best friends and they start sexting because she sent a picture to him that was supposed to be for someone else. Thanks love’ (09/03, requested by anonymus)  100+ notes

IMAGINE -  ‘Colson and Y/N working together on a shoot (music video or movie) but have to keep their hands to themselves because professionalism.’ (09/01, requested by anonymus)

IMAGINE -   Colson’s new Instagram post makes you miss him even more and it’s not the only thing it makes you feel (09/01)  100+ notes

IMAGINE -  because of the bad weather you decide to stay at home but then your texting with Colson turns into something else (08/29)

IMAGINE - ‘Could I request reader x colson text where the reader keeps on flirting with him, dropping hints that she likes him and him being oblivious?’ (08/27, requested by anonymus)

IMAGINE -  the one where you argue about Bucky Barnes (08/25)

IMAGINE -   you two had some history before which was a mess really and you haven’t talked like months because you were really hurt but one day you text him out of nowhere (08/25)

IMAGINE - long time no seen friends just start texting… and flirting (08/25, requested by anonymus)

IMAGINE -  Kind of a drunk texting with Colson. (08/24)

IMAGINE -  You are kind of deadly exhausted because of your work and Colson is done with that shit. (08/24, requested by @thoughtsoftheantagonist)

IMAGINE -  Colson helping you out with your outfit for your girl’s night out (08/23)  100+ notes

Fake Instagram

#quarantinetime (04/19)

IMAGINE  ‘Could we please get some MGK quarantine smut or something, please? 💜’ (04/10)

blank space (03/29)

#stayingathome (03/18)

the dork. the real. the Baker. (02/22)

#attheBahamas ‘Hey hun i wanted to ask are you gonna make a fake instagtam or a imagine based on his vacation in the bahamas? With the reader?’ requested by @kellysimagines (02/19)

Drunk night (02/15)

Valentine’s day (02/14) 100+ notes  

adventure time ‘So the Reader and Colson took a little time off and went on a vacation, just the two of them and when they returned they just could not hold themself back and posted some pictures from their trip because they wanted to show the world how happy they are and there is nothing wrong with that because they can do whatever they want to do’ 👫❤ (02/01)  100+ notes  

IMAGINE ‘Poking fun at each other on IG stories’ (01/14)  100+ notes  

ADORE YOU ’Adoring your boyfriend’s futures’ (01/12)

part II (01/23)

Love is… “…a series of IG posts based on the idea of ‘Love is… ’ (01/09) 100+ notes  

#thanksgivingatthebakersXX ‘Hiii happy thanksgiving! I love your writing, could you write about thanksgiving with Kells and the fam ❤️ ’ (01/05)  100+ notes

why are you here (the aftermath) ’Just got this idea from why are you here, but can u do one where is someone’s bday (like Pete’s or Rook’s or smth) and there’s a party ofc, and y/n is in Colson’s friends group, so she’s in the party but they always had this hate/love relationship, and they kinda fucked randomly but nobody knows, but now she’s there with somebody else and so he is, and that’s when the lyrics of the song starts to make the story you can do it imagine, instagram or sms. wtv u prefer ly’ // The backstory is the request and all of the pics were posted after that party, so it is the aftermath. An online game which only those two are playing. The song in this universe is out, just to be clear. Hope you like it this way too 😘 (01/03) 100+ notes

IMAGINE - Because there is no such a thing as enough IG love. #sorrynotsorry (12/29) 100+ notes

IMAGINE ‘Colson and Reader roasting each other in IG posts’ (12/26)  100+ notes

#christmasatthebakers 🎄🎄🎄 little Christmas present from me to YOU (12/24) 100+ notes  

IMAGINE - Some IG stories from the Reader with the perfect captions.’ not requested (12/07) 100+ notes  

IMAGINE - Reader spends lot of time with Kells in the studio… and she is making a journal of that time on IG 😍’ not requested (12/05)  100+ notes

IMAGINE - Colson’s girlfriend is just not having it’ not requested (12/03) 100+ notes

IMAGINE - Y/N and Colson showing their love for each other on Instagram because why not? 💋 not requested (12/01)  100+ notes

IMAGINE - Y/N showing her love for C and his friends in her special way 🙅❤ not requested (11/23)  100+ notes

IMAGINE - Just a little fake IG treat for You just because 🔥 not requested (11/14)  100+ notes

IMAGINE - Y/N shows her love for Colson on IG in a very unique way 📸 just capturing the real love (10/20) 100+ notes

PART II (10/25)

IMAGINE (male reader) ‘Can please I request another Colson x male reader Instagram style imagine and/or fake text kind? Thank you.’ requested (10/09)

IMAGINE (male reader) -  ‘Could i request a reader x colson where the reader is male? im gay and there’s exactly: 0 content.’ requested by anonymous (09/14)

IMAGINE -  Colson praisin’ his girl in his Instagram posts & in her comments  (08/26)  

IMAGINE - you lowkey admitting to the world you are a couple with Colson. (08/24)

Fake social medias (mixed: IG, twitter, texts etc.)

IMAGINE ‘After that pic of Colson with baby Ash, i totally need some fooking fluffy stuff like he and y/n have a baby boy, and she out of town for some work related shit, and he’s taking care of their child, and being all goofy and cute about it’ requested by @rosesinmars (01/02)

IMAGINE - Can i request one where the reader has curly hair (like myself) and she doesn’t like it and kells really loves it// requested by @bakerkells (12/25)

IMAGINE - So basically Kells is getting way too much hate from the online trolls because of his extrem behavior like partying and being seen with different girls literally every night. And it’s not just a momentary thing, they are hating on him strong even some ‘fans’ do this too. And it’s starting to piss off his friends too, the unnecessary behaviour of his so called fans because they know him better than those people and even if they want to ignore it… they see literally everywhere those hating, shading comments, opinions which nobody asked for. So one day Y/N, Colson’s long time no seen friend from his inner circle has enough because she knows even if C doesn’t admit it… this behavior from his 'fans’ hurt him a little bit.” not requested (11/28)

PART II (11/29)

IMAGINE ‘Reader is a famous actress and friends with kells. Before she had her big break, she modeled. She posts a throwback, when she modeled for Bikini or underwear. She’s like “so awkward lol” and Kells answers with emojis and is like “Damn YN!” They flirt in the comments and later Kells DM’s her ;)’ requested (11/26)

IMAGINE ‘you and Colson are close friends and occasionally sleep with each other. We all know about his feet kink. One day after you had a manicure and pedicure, you posted your newly designed finger and toe nails on insta. Colson is like 😍👅🔥😈 And then DM’s you, to invite you over 😏’ requested (11/10)100+ notes

IMAGINE ‘Could you make this: YN and Kells are friends and she visited him on The Dirt set. Afterwards she followed everyone on insta. One day she liked and comment on a post of Daniel Webber (something flirty) and he responds, also flirty. Kells see this and DM’s yn and is jealous but won’t admit it at first. YN finds this funny and says stuff like “You flirt even more than me on insta 😂” Kells can’t deny this 😄 Thank you, you’re so sweet!!’ requested (10/28)

IMAGINE - ‘So not a long ago Colson liked this first tweet (in real life) and it caused a little problem in our community and I just felt I needed to write about it.’  (10/27)

IMAGINE ‘Reader tweeting something like “we were so much more than you let us be” “our almost still haunts me” and kells texting her’ requested (10/19)

IMAGINE ‘Y/N is an actress and one day she totally starts to fangirl about MGK on Twitter/IG and then Colson sees it.. ‘ (10/01)  100+ notes

PART II (10/03)

PART III (11/19)  100+ notes

(the main masterlist)

#colson baker #colson baker x reader #colson baker fanfic #colson baker fanfiction #colson baker smut #machine gun kelly x reader #machine gun kelly #machine gun kelly fanfic #machine gun kelly fanfiction #mgk #mgk x reader #mgk fanfic #mgk fanfiction #fake ig #fake texts #fake social media #fake instagram #est #estxx #est4life #everyone stands together #writer #writings #imagine #fanfiction #fanfic

[astro-break]

Quick first thoughts on the first ep of the Hypmic Anime. Spoilers beware (and im writing this as I watch so :p)

Otome’s speech is.... questionable from a persuasive point of view. Manga did a great job of introducing her (which you can read here) but they really cut out the more terrifying parts of her speech and how she uses force to show people that she's not to be messed with

Its cool seeing everyone in their respective environments though. thats cool. Though they could have added Sasara and Kuuko (shhh i know why they didn’t let me dream)

I love how poppy the typography is. Its amazing how the visuals just leap out at you. The OP does a great job of this. The first few seconds before the title really gives me Persona 4 OG OP vibes with the influx of information given. The rest is a clear concise and streamlined way that still gives character. Animation is sparse but still carries across a general idea of each character and shows off each character object. Rendering is really nice and pays a bit of homage to the posing artwork thats done for the MVs. They also do their division hand signals and thats cute

Love how the OP has blatant HifuDoppo and DRB matchup foreshadowing

so far I really like what theyre going for. BB is about brotherly familial bonds and they show the goods and the bads. Jiro and Saburo bickering right out the gate really cements the fact that they get along like cats and dogs but you can still see that they love each other, working together when the situation calls for it

Now the 3d models. Theyre... not great but usable if you don’t look too hard. They serve their purpose and don’t actively detract from the viewing experience.

Visual typography in the rap itself are fun and poppy but they dont.... speak to me? like theyre there yes and I appreciate them but the only ones that got me excited were from Ichiro’s rap

I take my words back the group portion was kickass and I apologize

I love how they interpret the Hypnosis Speakers though. Esp. Saburo’s organs. That was super creative and I love it! If there was one thing that I felt was missing from the franchise was a deeper exploration of the speakers but the anime puts a new and fresh spin on it! Love it, especially with their attack patterns!

If the production team ever feels inclined to, Id love to see those info sheets on Otome’s desk released. There seems to be very interesting info and stats written out about each member (like capabilities, personal status etc.) They all seem unique too so I really really really hope they release images of those sheets

OOOOOOOOKAY MTC. I have such a big biased for them so Im very torn to see what unfolds

Rio striking out on his own is interesting. Out of everyone in MTC hes the biggest team player yet here he trusts his teammates to go ahead. This either displays Rio’s willingness to trust his teammates or it becomes very OOC if the anime wants to set him up as a lone wolf like character

I love how they specify its a drug deal. It means that Jyuto surely will show up and it also shows that Samatoki knows Jyuto’s motives and willingly gives black market info that he knows aligns with Jyuto’s goal. Thats A+ detail writing there and a great establishing characteristic for both of them

OOohhhhhhhhhhhhh man Asunama-san’s voice acting is god tier his work as Samatoki is phenomenal. He pulls of Samatoki’s threatening voice so well with those almost calm words before his voice becomes loud and confrontational. Those rolling syllables in contrast to Komada-san’s almost lyrical and airy speech and Kamio-san’s strict and enunciated words is such a delight to hear. It just speaks to how amazing and great these Seiyuu’s are in order to pull of such amazing work

Im so biased but MTC has such a better rap than BB im so sorry. Just by watching Samatoki’s part, the imagery is amazing. Even the arrival of his Hypnosis Speaker was awesome and sent a shiver down my spine. using the lyrics to form blades and blood was such a great thing to do. Theres so much more variety that just him standing there and shots of his hypnosis speaker. The old fashioned vignette shots, the four panel spread, the nods to old Kurosawa era films are great and I love these small details. Even the typography looks better.

Again, the interpretations with the speakers is fresh and new. Its great and I love the different imagery and attack patterns. Each one is so unique but carries across each different style of rap.

The 3d modles aren’t any better tho lol

(Hi this is Astro who is reading over their assessment again and making a note. Yeah I’m a bit harsh on BB’s rap. I’m not going to change it since I still stand by it and this post is supposed to be a documentation of my first impressions. I think one of the reasons why I’m so harsh on BB is because of their dynamic as a trio of brothers. They Have to have a more uniform approach than the other divisions. Which in of itself isn’t a terrible thing, it just doesn’t catch my eye as much as MTC did. Thats all! I definitely don’t hate BB, they’re maybe my 3rd favorite division out of the current lineup [not including TDD era teams like Kujaku Posse, MCD, and Naughty Busters] its just that their rap was pretty meh)

Samatoki crouching like a real gangstar and the cigarette kiss killed me

sadjkhfjkasdghsadjkcsdjhsdfsjhf im dying i love these trio of dumbasses so uch oh y fod someone save me aaaaaaaa (Astro note here! yeah i died when the jyuto and samatoki’s stomach growled im weak please. Samatoki’s face is just so precious and funny I might set it as a profile pic somewhere)

But also my initial assessment of Rio possibly being characterized as a lone wolf is very much jossed and im very thankful for that. It seems that Rio was simply trusting his teammates to carry out their part of the plan while he carried out his own. I like that, it really shows how much of a team these three are and that they genuinely trust each other. He’s also comfortable enough around them to invite them to dinners after work casually and not just for special occasions.

I really love MTC guys

Oooh! we get Ramuda on his design process which is really cute. the inside of his studio is super cute and retro and i love it. the poppy old music you would hear in a cafe or 90′s resturaunt is also really cute (astro note: yeah i know that in ARB you see the interior of Ramuda’s office but its kinda different seeing it animated)

the translation i have has gentaro speaking in early modern english (Shakespearian english for those who aren’t english nerds like me) but from what I can hear, he doesn’t speak in a particularly old fashioned way? Its more formal than old? and hes speaking without any of his character persona lying thing that he likes to do (as he refers to himself as “Shousei” throughout the segment where hes in Ramuda’s office which is kind of his default pronoun of choice). so its kinda odd for the translation to go in that direction but im not complaining

Gendice banter is gold but it feels... flat? a little? it doesn’t have the same impact as in the drama cds or in the manga? i feel? Also Ramuda using gratuitous english is??? idk how to feel about that

kjshf thats against the rules Ramuda omgggg,,,,,,,, (astro note again: while watching i was under the assumption that using your hypmic for monetary gain such a as buskering [which is what FP is doing] is against the rules. May not be the case but whatever)

FP’s rap might be my favorite in terms of tune and lyrics though. It’s a nice laid back bop and really gives of chill vibes. the integration of 3d and 2d is really nice and i love how they play off each other in the rap. The wordplay is so fun with little nods here and there and the beat is poppy too so it really energizes me.

Ramuda’s rap concerns me slightly since he makes very subtle and small nods towards his past (being created in a laboratory, warfare, and his overall very unpleasant life experiences) but spins it into something cutesy. It could be a coping mechanism, it could be me overthinking it. But it does make me worry a bit. Gentaro and Dice’s rap really play off each other with Gentaro sticking to stories and Dice taking up the baton by carrying on that same imagery but putting his own spin on it.

the self awareness of how scattered they are as a team is interesting though. It doesn’t seem like something you’d speak about in a rap? but i guess since its not really a do or die situation they can afford to be looser on things like this.

Right off the bat, i don’t like how they handled Hifumi and Doppo in relation to Hifumi’s fear of women. Slug made a post once talking about this and I echo many of his sentiments. Hypmic has never been very tactful about tackling this particular issue and while I didn’t have high hopes that the anime would be any better it hurts to see Doppo take away the one thing that allows Hifumi to function within society.

Doppo’s breakdown mirrors a lot of my own mental state when I spiral though its shown a lot quicker than what happens to me oof. that hits close to home. though Jakurai’s advice is. Questionable. Its not the best advice to give to someone but we have no idea what kind of doctor Jakurai is so ill let it slide

Jakurai’s pose looks like hes going to do a mahou shoujou transformation lmao

I don’t have many thoughts about the rap though again. How they visualize the rap is interesting. the different imagery is quite interesting for each of them and the typography is nice a distinct but im still on the fence about the visuals here

The sound is in the same boat. The sound effects either drown out the rap or are too quet but some parts are nice at least. When they talk about Tokyo’s beating heart, the heartbeat sound is a but distracting especially since its only played once. But the imagery is at least nice

I wonder if for the eds they’re going to take a similar approach to what Enstars did and have a four different endings, one for each division. I love the blend of styles here and it really accentuates that although they’re different they mesh well together.

Ramuda’s silhouette though is hilarious. Love it.

:p and thats it. Uh not bad for a first episode. Established all 12 characters really nicely and their dynamics. I had some problems with it but then again nothing is perfect. I look forward to what they show us next week

#hypnosis mic #hypmic #hypnosis mic rhyme anima #hypnosis mic rythme anima spoilers #hypmic spoilers #my post

[torunarigha]

Rules: list 10 songs that you can’t stop listening to, in no particular order, and tag 10 people

I was tagged by the lovely @todaviia​ to do this and encouraged to do explanations too, which I will definitely do because I love any excuse to thoughtfully analyze things I love!! Especially late at night when I should be sleeping...(also I’m 100% going to listen to all the songs you put and anyone who I tagged who does this, new music is fun but new music with stories behind it is even better!!)

1. American Tune - Simon and Garfunkel live at Central Park: ah the song that sums up being american, the lingering shame and sadness but also knowing you’re forever shaped and influenced by the mythology and ideology that makes this country what it is (i guess that’s not so unique but because its U.S.A. i guess it means something worse? idk man)... before i did my Austausch year in germany, my mom introduced this song ‘for when you miss this country’. i looked at her incredulously at the time but...i get it now. 

2. Urge for Going - Joni Mitchell: its funny, i got into this song right before covid and now the title is my eternal mood. joni is lovely, all of her songs i really never tire listening to (thanks mum!). the melody! the guitar! the lyrics!! ‘i get the urge for going but i never seem to go’ hits something deep...university blues i suppose.

3. You’d be so Nice to Come Home to - Nina Simone: i rediscovered this song when i listened to my jazz playlist from two years ago. I have a very clear memory of walking along a highway lined with trees on the way back home from the dentist and listening to this, enthralled. The jazz standard I associate with my mom singing it and I think this version is the only one I like better than her’s (no one can beat Nina)

4. It’s a Sin - Pet Shop Boys: I have too many melancholy ones on this list so I had to add a boppy 80s one. This summer I heard it blasting and it hasn’t left my head since. It’s best heard turned up with your eyes closed so you get the best effect from the synths (the ‘father forgive me’ always throws me and then I look at the title like ‘oh right! that’s christianity!)

5. Something in the Water - Daveed Diggs: ok full disclosure most of what i’ve been listening to lately is daveed...i have mixed feelings about clippin. songs (they’re all good songs, some i like more than others) but this is from his movie ‘blindspotting’ (which i NEED to see) and is such a good song about gentrification (specifically about oakland but i think it could be applied to many cities in the world right now lmao fuck capitalism). anyway please talk to me about daveed diggs. 

6. Parting Friends - traditional (but this is a pretty version): its a hymn from the 19th century but the harmonies are beautiful and really fun to sing with someone else, if you like choral singing. i think it meant a lot to me over the quarantine time just because i felt so separated from people, although the fear of losing friends is still here...

7. Transcend - Nyota Parker: I heard this on that video where all the proceeds went to racial justice organizations and totally loved it! Empowering and relaxing, that doesn’t happen in many songs. I think in a few years it will be one of those songs that takes me back to this time in a kind of 'oof’ way. 

8. O Love is Teasin’ - Rhiannon Giddens: Another recently discovered song although I’ve known her for a while (carolina chocolate drops, great if you love bluegrass! although i have a feeling there won’t be a lot of bluegrass fans on tumblr lol). this song is less bluegrass, more haunting traditional (maybe a bit celtic? idk) i know when i leave this state, i’ll listen to her when i miss it :’)

9. When I’m Gone - Phil Ochs: I need to listen to this song every day because it reminds me what’s important, ya know? Fight the power, care for each other, live in the moment...Anti-war and union songs are common place around the campfire with my family so that’s another reason I need this song right now tbh. i need more phil ochs, woody guthrie, pete seegar, judy collins...

10. Everything I Am Is Yours - The Villagers: this came on while I was walking to class yesterday and I was in just the right mood to hear it so I’ve been obsessed with it ever since. Maybe its because I’m just always a closet romantic hah...it is a sickly sweet song but 🥺all the same 

I tag: @manuelmueller @divckorigi @joshiikimmich @goretzkaaas @trentalexanders @dancefaeries @thomas-mvller @modricmio @robinsbckley @steviebergwijn and if anyone else took the time to read this then i tag you too!! because dang i feel appreciated!! please tell me about your music!

most of youse i’ve talked about music with which is why i tagged you (except meggie and joshiikimmich and i think i only talked about daveed diggs with emma lol), no pressure to do it of course!

im very tired. i hope this actually makes sense when you read it. why do i poor my heart out at 1am. i should not do this. goodnight.

#tag games #i might delete this soon if i deem it too personal in the morning haha #edit: its not too personal but it certainly is not very coherent or interesting rip #hope you all enjoy anyway !

[dreamgirl4certain]

The Elevator Bae

SEVEN

CHAPTER EIGHT

Erik Stevens x Black OC (Phoenix)

A/N: Just some cute shit here. | Song lyrics referenced are not my own. They are from a song by MILA J x Me and You. **I will be referencing lyrics from her music in the future. I picture her style of music when Phoenix’s is writing music. And I barely did any proofreading so my bad from the bottom of my heart.

Word Count: eh, idk. a lot.

***************************************

“I missed you so fucking much, baby girl.”

“I missed you too, E.” Phoenix huffed between words. Erik’s heavy figure above hers. His head rested in the crook of her neck as he placed wet kisses on her skin. She dug her fingertips into his back as he stroked her slow and deep. Her eyes stuck shut, moan trapped in her throat when she felt a vibration under her body. Where is this coming from?

Phoenix’s body jerked up and she looked around, realizing she was on her couch. It was dark out now and her tv screen paused with Netflix asking if she was still there. Her phone was ringing under her. That’s when it all hit her. She was dreaming. This was the third night in a row that dreamt of him. Three dreams, night after night of Erik doing all of the right things to her. Why is this happening to her?

Erik had been gone for ten days. The first few days, she poured herself into her work. She set up her equipment in her living room and did the best that could. remixing beats she already had and doing some writing. But has the days went on, she found herself thinking about Erik more and more. Thinking about how good he felt when she kissed him. Missing him, but she did everything but actually admit that to herself. She started watching Naruto because it was his favorite show, but she told herself it was because Netflix suggested it. She went out and bought two cases of Merinelli’s Apple Juice. But of course, not because he liked it, but because she ‘enjoyed the juice of apples.’ She told herself that he probably wasn’t even thinking about her. He’ll probably come back and not even bother talking to her again. Two weeks was more than enough time for him to realize that she wasn’t it and she should just prepare herself now, for that.

None of it worked, though she refused to accept the truth that she missed Erik. It ate her up inside that she couldn’t talk to him. He stayed in her mind constantly. She hated to like it.

“This is ridiculous.” She said to herself as she felt under her legs for her phone.

One missed call from Coby. She swiped the notification, selecting Call Back. When he answered, she could hear nothing but pure joy in his voice.

“PHILLY!” he yelled into the phone.

“Hey!” She pulled the phone away from her face and put it on speaker phone.

“My studio is done.”

Phoenix sat up, snatching the phone, bringing it closer to her face. “What! Say swear!”

“I swear. It’s finally done. You gotta come break it in.”

Coby had been working on building a studio in his home. Fully equipt. He promised that when it was done, she’d be the first person he called and she would be the first to record something in it. Before Phoenix could even express her excitement, Ava had taken over the phone call.

“Yeah, Philly. You might as well pack you a bag or three and come on.”

“A bag? Fuck she need a bag for?” Coby says.

“So she won’t have to leave. You know damn well y’all are about to be living in that damn room.”

“Bet!” Phoenix said. “I’m on my way.”

“Yay! We’re having a sleepover!” Ava yells into the phone. “See you when you get here.”

Phoenix ends the call. She rushes into her room to pack some clothes. She may or may not have packed enough to practically move in. She stuffed as much as she could in her giant Victoria Secret PINK duffle. Along with her face and hair products. She looked around to make sure she had everything. Her laptop was on the floor. She could NOT leave without that. She put it in her backpack with its charger and an extra phone charger and headed out the door. She texted Ava.

Phoenix: Be there in 20 minutes.

-------

Coby’s studio was her dream studio. It was huge. As soon as she walked in, purple lights glowed along the bottom of the soundproof glass that separated them from the recording booth. Coby turned on the lights that revealed all black decor and dark, hardwood floors. Phoenix walked in stroking her fingertips along the new equipment. Ava came in, sitting on the couch.

“You peep that?” Ava says, pointing to something inside of the recording booth. Phoenix goes inside to see. She looks up to see a huge black and white picture of her and Coby from when they were in the studio some time ago. One of Coby’s photographer friends had stopped by and took a few cool shots of them. Coby has the picture enlarged on a canvas and placed on the wall inside of the recording booth.

“Oh my gosh, Coby!” she grabbed his arms, shaking him.

Seeing her jump with joy, brought on the biggest smile that man has ever worn. “You like it?”

“I love it! What made you pick this one?”

“Well, we’re a team now, remember? I figured it was only right to put up a picture of me and my partner.”

“Aww… we haven’t come up with a cool name yet though.”

“We’ll figure that out in due time. But you like everything?”

“YES!”

Coby showed her around to look at everything that he had installed. Of course Phoenix’s favorite part was the fully stocked mini fridge and weed cabinet that held all of their smoking necessities. Phoenix wouldn’t be quiet about how proud of him she was. He had been working on this studio for months. He designed the entire thing himself.

They immediately got to work. Phoenix was so excited about the studio, and to be with her friends, she finally got her mind off of Erik… for now.  She was able to zone into her work. They created their first beat from scratch in the new space. Just as Ava had predicted, once Phoenix and Coby were in the studio, they were there for the rest of the night. After a few hours, Ava left them and went to bed. It was well into the next morning before the two of them had fallen asleep in the studio. They refused to leave.

--------

The next afternoon, Phoenix enjoyed a hot shower and co-washed her hair. She lotioned up with her favorite vanilla shea butter. She moisturized her hair and washed her face. She put on some sweatpants and a t-shirt. Just as she was applying some chapstick, Ava facetimes her.

“Morning!” Ava cheerfully says into the phone.

“Morning, love.”

“Get down here. I made food. I wanna see you before I leave out.”

“Where you goin’?” Phoenix says as she starts walking out of her chosen guest room to meet Ava and Coby down in the kitchen.

“I have a brand meeting.”

“Alright. I’m coming down the stairs.”

Ava ends the facetime call. Phoenix walks down the large staircase and through the hallway. She can see Coby sitting at the kitchen table. She joins him. They share a look before both breaking into smiles.

“You want eggs?” Ava asks Phoenix from the stove.

“Sure.”

Ava brings Phoenix a full plate of food. Phoenix pours herself some cranberry juice, mixing it with orange juice. Coby watches her mix the two drinks with furrowed brows. “Why do you that? That’s weird.”

“It’s delicious actually.” she takes a sip. “You should try it.”

“Nah, I’m good.”

The three of them sit and eat their food. Ava asked them about what they created in the studio and the way their faces lit up was enough to let her know they had a great session, breaking in the new studio. They played her the song they made. As the beat broke through the speaker, Phoenix’s voice rides the beat effortlessly. Ava squealed in excitement, hearing her friend singing.

Just me and you // nobody gon' break this up, this magic My nigga, my babe, nobody comes before me and you Numero uno, you know you my baby What had these bitches off of you lately?

“You sound so good!” Ava says. “You should drop this yourself.”

“I told her ass last night, that she should drop some music.” Coby adds.

Phoenix shakes her head. “Y’all crazy. Ain’t nobody trying to hear me sing.”

“You’re crazy! You telling me that you’ve never thought about releasing some of those songs you have locked away? You have a pretty voice, Philly. I think people would love you.”

“It’s crossed my mind, but I’m good.”

Ava rolled her eyes at her. Coby checks the time on his phone. “You better get out of here before you’re late. Traffic probably already crazy.” Ava takes one last sip of her drink. She gets up from the table, picking up her dishes and taking them to the sink.

“Don’t worry about those. I got it.” Coby says.

Ava leaves her dishes and starts out of the kitchen. “I’ll see y’all in a couple hours.”

Coby listened out to hear the front door open and close. As soon as he did, he looks at Phoenix. She’s so into her food, that she didn’t notice at first. When she did, she locked eyes with him and they stared at each other until one of them blinked first. Phoenix’s eyes couldn’t take it and she blinked. “Fuck!”

“I don’t know why you think you can beat me.”

“Nobody should be able to go that long without blinking. Something is wrong with you.”

Coby continues to stare at her as she eats. As he watches her, he notices that she checks her phone every few seconds. She’s not usually the type to be so caught up with her phone. She checks it again, this time, locking it and flipping it over.

“What’s up with you?” he asks.

“Hm? What are you talking about?”

“You keep checking your phone. You expecting a call or something?”

“No.” she says quickly.

Coby smirks. “You waiting on Erik to text you?”

Her face drops and she rolls her eyes, trying to avoid looking in his direction. “No. I was-- I was just checking the time.”

Coby notices the change in her demeanor and the protector in him activates. “What happened? That nigga do something?” His words came out slightly louder than how he was talking before. They were stern.

“No,” she waves him off. “Nothing happened. I haven’t even talked to him.”

“Why not?”

Phoenix looks at him in disbelief. She feels like she’s getting grilled by her Mom. “He’s away right now… for work.”

“And he can’t talk to you? What the fuck do he do?”

Phoenix isn’t getting out of this conversation so she surrenders and figures she’d just answer Coby’s questions. She sits her fork down and leaned back in her chair. “He’s in the Navy. He had to leave for two weeks.” she says, figuring it was the safest answer. She can’t be telling people he’s hired to take people out.

“Hm. When did he leave?”

“Last Tuesday.”

“You must have gave that nigga some good-bye pussy or something.”

“Wha-- No!”

‘Then why you actin’ weird?” Coby tries to catch Phoenix’s eye to see if she’s lying. She avoids him by looking off at nothing in the kitchen.

“I’m not acting weird. You are. Asking me all of these damn questions.” she snapped.

“You are acting weird. I’m just trying to make sure you good and I don’t have to kill that nigga. I bring his name up and you get all tense and shit.”

Phoenix doesn’t respond. She looks down and picks at her fingers. Coby patiently waits for her to give him something. When she doesn’t, he tries to push a little more. Phoenix is good for keeping things locked in. But not on his watch.

“Aye,” she looks at him. “Talk to me. What’s the problem?”

She takes a deep breath. “I’m just… I don’t know.”

“Phoenix.” his voice was stern.

“I think I’m scared.”

“Scared of what?” Coby leaned onto the table, all ears.

“I- I can’t believe I’m about to tell you this.” He motioned for her to go on. “I’ve only ever been with one person and that clearly didn’t end well, and--  I don’t really want to allow someone to hurt me again.”

“That’s not fair Phoenix.”

“What’s not fair?”

“Erik isn’t your ex. It’s not fair to hold what that lame ass nigga did against him. You have to let that shit go.”

Phoenix looked away at nothing again. She knew he was right.

“Aye…” Coby tapped the table. Phoenix looks at him. “I’ma tell you this, but keep it between me and you.” Phoenix agrees with a nod. “My ex, she wasn’t shit. Fucked around on me with half the niggas in the industry. We were supposed to get married and everything but I called off all that shit when I found out what she was out here doing. Everybody knew but me.”

“Wait!” Phoenix interjected with wide eyes. “You were gonna get married, Coby?”

He kissed his teeth. “Yeah man. That was a few years ago and it has nothing to do with my point.”

Phoenix through her hands up in surrender.

“Anyways… as I was saying. I was done dirty but I didn’t let that shit stop me from going after Ava. I still found it in me to care about somebody. I treat her crazy ass like the queen that she is because that hurt shit is the past. Ava is my fresh start and clearly Erik is yours.”

“What makes you think that?”

“It’s all in  the music, Phoenix. I’m not stupid. I can always tell what you’re feeling based off what you write. You like Erik. Just let the shit happen.”

Phoenix nods. “I cannot believe you didn’t tell me you were engaged.” she says, trying to steer the conversation away from her and her alleged feelings for Erik.

Coby stands up from the table, picking up their plates. “Happened before I met you. Don’t like talking about it.”

He washed their plates and pans on the stove. Phoenix got up and started walking out. “I’ll be in the studio.”

-----------

The next few days, anxiety filled up in Phoenix. She counted the days down until Erik came back. She continued her stay at Coby’s with him and Ava to distract herself as much as she could. Erik’s return day came and went with no sign of him. He hadn’t texted her. She figured he would. But maybe he was tired and just wanted to rest. She was so confused about how she should feel. But when two more days passed and still no text from him, she figured she would take this ‘L’ like a champ and move on. She didn’t want to talk about it with Coby or Ava and she had lost her desire to make music. It would all be about Erik anyway. She didn’t want to do that to herself. 

Phoenix stood over the bed in the guest room that she had rightfully deemed her room and packed up all of her stuff. Ava sat on the bed, watching her.

“You should just move in, Philly. Then we can all be together, all the time.” Ava says.

“You don’t even live here!” They hear Coby yell from his room, down the hall.

“Ain’t nobody even talking to you!” Ava yells back. Her and Phoenix share a look before laughing. “He be killing me, not minding his business.”

“But, speaking of you not living here. When was the last time you went home?” Phoenix asked.

Ava looked up to the ceiling in thought. “It’s been a couple weeks. I should probably go back though. I’m sure the food in my fridge is done for and I definitely need to wash some clothes.”

“Ew, A!” Phoenix laughs. She just shrugs. “Welp… I’m all packed up.”

Ava gives Phoenix a very dramatic sad face. “I’m gonna miss you.”

“Relax, love.” Phoenix places a petty hand on Ava’s shoulder. “A couple more weeks and we’ll be ass out on a beach.”

“Yes and then right after that… it’s your birthday.” Ava pokes her in her sides between words, tickling her.

“Stop! No need to be extra. It’s not that big of a deal.” Phoenix throws on her hoodie and slip her feet into her sneakers.

“You bet not say you don’t wanna do anything, because we’re doing something for your birthday.”

“Y’all can’t do it here!” Coby yells.

“SHUT UP!” “BE QUIET!” they yell back. Both rolling their eyes. Why was he listening so damn hard?

Phoenix goes down to Coby’s room where he’s playing 2k and she says her goodbyes to him. She tries to kiss him on the cheek and snaps back, away from her. “Gone with all that shit, Philly. Don’t you see I’m in a game?”

“This game can’t be that damn important if your ear hustling on what me and Ava talking about.”

“Nah, y’all niggas were just loud. Which is why y’all need to get out my house.”

Ava storms into the room. “Fuck you! I ain’t going nowhere.” She smacks him in the back of the head, making him pause the game.

“Don’t be putting your little ass hands on me. You can get ya’ shit and leave with your friend.”

Ava leans down to his ear and whispers something to him that makes his eyebrows raise up into his hairline. He clears his throat. “You know what… you can stay, bae.” He looks to Phoenix, “I love you, Phoenix, but you have to go now. This was fun. It really was, but Ava will show you to the door.”

Phoenix is disgusted. “Y’all are gross. I’m out.” She turns on her heels, heading back into the guest room for her bags. Ava follows her downstairs and walks her out.

“Let me know when you get home, okay?” Ava gives Phoenix one of those long, auntie hugs. Back rubs and all.

-----

Phoenix sat at a red light when her phone started ringing over the speakers. When she looked to see who it was, she almost choked on her spit. It was Erik. He was facetiming her. He’s never actually called her before, let alone facetime. They only talked in person or text. Her palms become sweaty at a new record speed. She wiped her hand on her hoodie and hit the green button to answer. The street lights lit her face up enough for him to see her. She looked down into the phone to see his face almost covered with a hoodie over his head.

“Hey.” his voice was deep and raspy.

“Hey.”

The light turns green and Phoenix drives off, quickly looking away from the phone on the mount. He just watched her for a moment as she focused on the road and traffic. “You going somewhere?” he finally asked.

“I’m on my way home. Just left Coby’s.”

“Oh.”

She could tell he wanted to say something more than just ‘Oh.’ As she came to a stop at another red light, she focused her attention back to the phone. “What’s up, Erik?” her tone came out frustrated. He’s been back for days now and he hadn’t texted her at all. He randomly facetimes her and barely has anything to say. She was definitely annoyed with how this was going right about now. 

“Can I see you?”

“Sure.”

“How far are you from here?”

She drives off once again. “Like ten minutes.”

“Alright.” There’s movement on his end of the phone. “I’ll wait for you in the garage. See you when you get here.”

“Um… okay.”

The call ends and Phoenix is every bit of confused as to how she should take this. He hasn’t talked to her and now he wants to see her. What the fuck was happening right now?

She arrived in the parking garage of her apartment and Erik is waiting, standing outside his car. She decided to leave her bags in her backseat and gets out to go to him. As she approaches him, he motions to the car, opening the passenger door. “Ride with me somewhere.” Phoenix very hesitantly gets into his car. He gets in and drives off. The ride was silent. He was distant. Not the Erik she had become use to. He was so closed off and she wanted to ask, but didn’t really know how. She didn’t know what to say. She just rode. She laid back into the seat and just looked out the window. The car ride wasn’t long. They pulled into a parking lot and as Phoenix searched around, looking out of the windows, she realized they were at the beach. There weren't many people out. Just a few bodies walking around. Erik turned the car off and opens his door to get out. Phoenix follows. He spares her a look and starts walking onto the sand, toward an empty picnic table. Phoenix doesn’t follow him immediately. She watches him walk and takes note of the slight dip when he takes a step. He turns looking for her and expecting her to be right behind him. When she’s not,  he stops to wait. She slowly begins her journey to him. When she approaches him, he takes her hand in his and guides her the rest of the way to the picnic table. Erik steps up onto the table, sitting on the top of it. He leaves just enough room between his legs for Phoenix to sit. He pulls her up on the reserved seat. As she settles into her place between his thighs, he wraps his arms around her torso and rests his face on her shoulder.

Silence.

Neither of them talk. They sit. The moon’s light sits on top of the water before them and faint sounds of the city in the distance. The few people roaming the beach had left, leaving just them with one another. Phoenix listened to Erik’s steady breath in her right ear and the sounds of small waves in the left. She felt calm. The slight irritation she had with Erik had subsided.

The late night breeze flowed right off of the water and a shiver crept up Phoenix’s spine. Erik felt her shake and wrapped his arms around her body completely, holding her tighter.

“Better?” his baritone voice spoke low in her ear.

“Mhmm.” she rested her head back on him.

“I missed you.” he whispered.

Without thinking, Phoenix’s words flew from her mouth. “Then why didn’t you text me?”

“I just needed some space… some time to decompress or whatever.”

“I get that. I just would like to know that you’re okay.”

“I’m sorry. Not really used to having to check in with anybody.”

Phoenix lifted her body from his and turns to look at him. “Well, you don’t have to check in with me then.” she snapped.

Erik sighs. “I didn’t mean it like that. I’ll let you know next time.”

“Nah, you don’t have to worry about it.” she faces forward but folds her body into her lap. Erik pulls her back to him. She resisted at first but eventually submitted. Resting her body against his chest again. She felt defeated. He wrapped his arms around her again, placing his face in her neck. He doesn’t do anything. He just lays there, lips barely grazing her skin. Phoenix silently prayed he’d move, though she wanted him to stay. 

“It won’t happen again. I’m sorry.” he said into her neck.

She took in a deep breath. Coby’s words popping up in her mind. ‘Let that shit go. Let Erik be your fresh start.’  

“I missed you too, Erik.”

His lips pressed firmly on her neck then. Her body melted more into his.

“Why are you so understanding?” he asked.

She shrugs. “It’s just who I am, I guess.”

“I don’t deserve you.”

“Why would you say that?”

He lifts his head, looking out at the water. Phoenix’s head falls back onto his chest. His grip around her loosens. “I’m no good for you. You’re too much of a good person for a nigga like me. I do terrible shit and you still find a way to be understanding about it.”

“Erik...”

“Everything I touch dies, Phoenix. I don’t wanna ruin your life.”

“Shut up, Erik.”

“Phoenix--” She cuts him off and turns to face him again. She pulls the strings on his hoodie and moves her face closer to his. They’re eye to eye.

“I’m a grown ass woman. I make my own decisions, so if you ruin my life, it’ll be because I let you. I’m not scared of none of that shit you’re talking. I had my chance to cut you off when you told me that you’re basically an assassin. You mark your body for every fucking kill Erik. I tried counting them damn scars on your arms and I lost count… three times,” She dramatically throws up three fingers. “I’m understanding because I know what it’s like to only have yourself. I’m understanding because somebody has to be. Somebody has to be a safe space for your dumbass.” She lets go of his hoodies strings. “Even though I couldn’t get a damn text letting me know you were still alive.” she says sarcastically. 

Her words hit him right in the chest. ‘Somebody has to be.’ Nobody had ever tried to be understanding of him. Nobody wanted to be and here this girl is, wanting to be that somebody. He felt a sense of safety with her that he couldn’t explain before and this confirmed everything he was feeling. This woman was special and the only explanation for how he got so lucky was that Bast herself, sent her to him. If that’s what Erik had to tell himself to accept what Phoenix was offering, he would. All Erik could do in this moment was smile. “I said I’m sorry.” He hadn’t smiled once in the weeks he’d been gone.

Phoenix clutched her pearls. “Erik Stevens without his gold caps? Never thought I’d see the day.”

“Shut up.” He grabbed her face, squeezing her cheeks and connecting his lips with hers. He needed to do this. He wanted to since she met him in the parking garage. The kiss turned hot, very quickly. The smacking of their lips seem to quiet out the sounds of the waves hitting the shore. Phoenix gripped his hoodie, pulling him closer. Their awkward position making it hard to do so. She lifted her body from between his legs and straddled his lap. She didn’t miss a beat. Their lips never parted. Erik’s hands gripped her ass, holding her in place above him. Just as Phoenix sucked on his bottom lip, he pulled back.

“Fuck, girl.” he shakes his head, trying to come back to reality. Erik has kissed many, and I mean MANY of women. But none of them felt like this. She made him want her in every way possible. He wasn’t used to this feeling. But, Phoenix has a history of making him feel things he’s not used to feeling. Like, well… feelings in general. Erik never wanted to just be with someone just to be with them. With other women, if it wasn’t about sex, he didn’t care. But, Phoenix… he wanted to sit next to her, talk to her, hold her hand, watch tv with her. The simple things.  

“What I do?” she grinned.

“I want you so fucking bad.” the lust in his voice sent heat to her lady parts. She wanted him too. “But… if I’m gonna do this, I have to do it right.”

“What do you mean?”

“I would love to bend yo’ ass over this table right now and just…” He thrusted his body up into hers. Her mouth dropped in shock. He laughed at her reaction. “But, I wanna do right by you. I wanna take you out. I wanna show you a good time first.”

“You wanna court me, Stevens?” she smiles, linking her hands around his neck.

“Yeah. All that shit.”

“Damnn, okay. A bitch ain’t never had that before.” she says in her hoodrat voice.

“Me neither.” He laughed at her and pulled her back in for a few more pecks on the lips.

They continued to sit in this position. Phoenix laid on his shoulder and he rested his face in her neck, still gripping on to her thighs. She rubbed the back of his neck. They sat quietly with the sounds of the night traveled around them.

“E,” she whispered. He moaned in response. “Why the beach? What made you wanna come here?”

“I like to come here to clear my mind.”

“Hm, well, I’m enjoying this. I really am. But, I’m cold.”

His body bounced under hers as he laughed. “Well, I’m good now so we can go.”

Phoenix stands. Erik moves to stand up but pauses and sits back down. “What’s wrong?” she asked.

He drops his head in laughter. “Oh my God, man.”

“What!”

He slowly stands up and his erection is VERY visible through his light grey joggers. Phoenix’s mouth drops and she laughs. She knew he was big from when he chilled with her at her place and she breifly sat on his lap, but seeing this nigga print in these pants, let her know she slightly underestimated him. “And I Oop…” They both leaned over in laughter. Phoenix’s funny reaction was simply a way to steer her brain from the many questions she wanted to ask herself. Like: Was she able to handle that? Ya’ know… when the time came? How big was this nigga? Has he murdered anybody by dick in his past? 

But she’ll tackle that one later. They were okay. Things were normal.

Erik readjusted himself and they walked back to his car. The ride back to their apartment was different than the ride to the beach. Phoenix connected her phone to his car’s bluetooth and played her music. The air was lighter on their drive. Erik’s hand found its place on her thigh and they both sung along to the songs that played.

-----------

Phoenix and Erik picked up right where they left off. He texted her every morning and they’d text through the entire day, ending the day with a facetime call. The nights she’d be up and in the studio, they’d text until he fell asleep, only to facetime him when she made it in and they’d both sleep with the other on screen until their phones died. It was like they were teenagers again. The butterflies, the cute text. They enjoyed each other.

——-

Phoenix was currently standing in her hallway, locking her door. Before making her way to the elevator she texted Erik.

Phoenix: What’s your elevator code?

She was feeling bits of nervousness. This would be her first time going up to Erik’s apartment. The couple of weeks that Erik had been back seem to have flown by and  her vacation with her girls was coming up quick, Erik told Phoenix he wanted to see her before she left. They haven’t seen much of each other since he’s been back with her schedule being hectic. Phoenix had a lot of work and meetings to get through before her trip. She wanted to enjoy her vacation without any work related distractions. Her and Coby had been working tirelessly so the only time she could really see Erik was on their nightly FaceTime calls. He’d always miss her on the elevators.

Erik: 8176.

She pressed the elevator call button.

Phoenix: Great. My goons will be up in a minute to rob your ass.

Erik: Play with me if you want to. I’ll drop you and them niggas.

Phoenix: you wouldn’t do that to me. You would miss me too much.

Erik: maybe I would. Maybe I wouldn’t.

DING! 

The elevator doors opened and Phoenix stepped on. She typed in his code to enter the Penthouse floors. 8..1..7..6. The twelfth floor light lit up and the doors began to close. She texted Erik back.

Phoenix: I’m not coming up then.

Erik: stop playing baby girl. You know I would miss you.

Erik: I miss you right now.

Phoenix sticks her tongue out, blushing. She locks her screen. The closer she got to his floor, the tighter the knot in her stomach. She could feel her hands getting hot. She tried taking some deep breaths. The cabin stopped and the doors opened. She stepped out and looked to her left and to her right. There was an apartment door in both directions. Erik didn’t mention which direction his door would be. She unlocked her phone, calling Erik.

“Hey baby girl. Where you at?”

“Um, I’m in the hallway. You never told me if your door is to the left or right of the elevators.”

“Oh shit. My bad. The right.”

Phoenix goes right and the door begins to open. Erik steps out with a smile sitting beautifully on his face. He made Nike shirts look like the most exquisite shirts on the market. His dreads were pulled up into a pineapple. The smell of seasoned chicken flowed out into the hallway meeting Phoenix as she greeted him with a hug. He steps aside, letting her in. First glance and Phoenix was stunned. The sleek and modern black and gold decor was designed perfectly. The high ceilings and floor to ceiling glass windows gave the most amazing view of the city. She walked in, looking around, noticing the African Art along the walls.

“Ohhhh, he got moneyyy!”

“Would you like a tour?”

She whipped her head around to him. “Yes, actually. I would.”

“C’mon.”

She follows him as he leads her more into his penthouse. They walk through his huge living room where he has the largest sectional couch that Phoenix has ever seen. It looked so comfy and she couldn’t wait to get lost in it. A 90” tv set on a stand in front of it.

“Full bar over there.” he points to underneath the stairs. “Dining area. Kitchen.” He takes her hand and leads her past the kitchen into a hallway. There are two doors to right. The first is a guest bathroom. The second door is a guest bedroom.

“Damn, Stevens! Your guest room is bigger than my living room. Go off with your rich ass.”

“You’re silly, baby girl. C’mon, we’re going upstairs.”

They make their way back into the main area to go upstairs. She follows him up and notices his pants hanging low on his waist. This nigga has cake.

“Damn, you kinda thick, E.” she pats him. He stops mid step and turns to give her the straightest face.

“Don’t do that shit again.”

She puts her hands up in surrender. “My bad big booty E.”

“Chill.” They continue their trip up the stairs and the space before them was big enough to be another living room. There were some workout equipment, neatly stacked against the wall.

���Oh this is where you be growing ya’ cheeks at.”

“Phoenix, you got one more time to mention my ass before I put you out.”

“Alright, alright. I’m done.” she smirks at him.

He takes her through some sliding doors that lead to his bedroom. The walls were white with a dark grey accent wall behind his bed. A TV was up on the wall between his large windows. The shades were down, blocking out the cities lights. His california king bed dressed in black and purple. A large black panther picture hung on the wall.

“I have an idea, E.” Phoenix says, rubbing her chin.

“What’s that?”

“I move into this room and you take the one downstairs.”

“You sound crazy. You could just join me in this one.” he winks at her.

“Nope. I need all of this to myself.”

“Nah. I come with it. All or nothing. If you don’t like it, you can stay in your shoebox downstairs.”

Phoenix’s mouth drops and she clutches her chest. “First of all, I love my shoebox.”

He wraps his arm around her shoulders. “C’mon, we’re almost done with the tour.”

She walks with him to the other side of his room and through another set of sliding doors. They step into his master bathroom. His shower had three shower heads and a bench. The tub sat in front of a large window and another tv was on the wall in front of it. “I’m sold. I might have to take you up on your offer now.”

“Oh now you want me?”

“Technically,” she put a finger up. “I never said that I didn’t.”

“You’re something else.” He walks out and she follows him. Right outside the bathroom’s doors was a small hallway that lead into his closet. He turned on the lights, revealing his amazing collection of clothes, sneakers, jackets, and a jewelry case full of chains and watches and few pair of earrings. Straight ahead was a large mirror. Phoenix walked right passed his clothes. Fuck his clothes honestly. The white light in the closet made for good lighting and the mirror called her to take the perfect picture.

“OH! It’s picture time.” She pulled out her phone, snapping a full cute pics, catching her body at all of the right angles. As she tried to get a new position, she noticed Erik leaning against the wall behind her. She hadn’t realized that he was visible in her pictures before. She stopped and looked at him.

“What?” he was lost as to why she was giving him the stink look.

“Get out my picture.” she barked at him.

He rolled his eyes, stepping out of her camera’s view. She snapped a few more pictures.

“Are you done?” he called out. She walks back to him.

“Yes. All done. Thanks.”

He turns off the lights and they both leave out of his room. As they walked toward the stairs, he points to a door on the other side, “That’s my office. I’m redoing it right now so it’s a mess in there.”

They go downstairs and into the kitchen where the food Erik had cooked sat on the stove. He made stuffed chicken, cheesy, garlic potatoes and grilled asparagus. Phoenix sat in the wooden barstool at the kitchen island as he prepared their plates.

“Red or White?” he asked without turning around.

“Hmm, white.”

Erik placed two plates of food on the counter in front of her. He grabbed two wine glasses from a cabinet, placing one in front of her. “You’re a sweet kind of woman aren’t you?”

“Yes. How did you know?”

“Lucky guess.” He walks away out of her sight. When he comes back, he has a bottle of Moscato. He effortlessly pops the cork and pours into their glasses. He takes his seat next to her, pulling her seat closer to him. He grabbed her chin, bringing their faces just a breath from each other. He licks his lips and places a peck on hers, making a small closed mouth smirk appear on hers. “Eat up, baby girl.”

Phoenix pulled away from him. “You don’t tell me what to do, Stevens.” She picks up her fork and starts eating. He watches her with prey like eyes.

“We’ll see about that.” he finally says with a low tone before digging into his food.

As they enjoyed their meal, they talked about random things. How they’re sick of the construction outside of their building. Phoenix has a hair appointment the next day. Nothing major. Well about halfway through dinner, the conversation shifted.

“So,” Erik sat his fork down. “Your birthday is coming up. You and your crew planning something?”

Phoenix sipped her wine. “My crew? No. This vacation is enough for me. I don’t wanna do anything really.”

“I thought the trip was Camrens’s birthday gift?”

“It is. But, I don’t know, it’s right before mine so I’m okay with just that.”

“Why?” He was watching the side of her face.

“Not really a birthday person.”

“I’ve never met a woman that wasn’t a birthday person.”

She finally looks at him. “I mean, as a kid, I was. But the older I got, it just seemed so… extra. I would only do something because my brother wanted to.”

“Brother?!” Erik’s eyebrows raised high. “You have a brother?”

Phoenix rolls her eyes. “Yeah. A twin, actually. Zion.”

“You’ve never mentioned having a brother.”

“Because…” she takes a sip. “We don’t talk. He don’t fuck with me and I don’t fuck with him.” Her demeanor changed. Phoenix is tense now. She clenches and unclenches her jaw and the slight eye rolls as she talks let Erik know that her brother is a trigger. 

Erik turns his body to face her to give her his full attention. “Why not?” She cups her glass with both hands, slowly taking sips. There’s a beat of silence. 

“I’m here.” She began. Her voice small. “I’m living a decent life, doing what I love to do and he’s not.” she shrugs. “He hates me for that.”

“Hate is a strong word.”

“He hates me, E. He said it. He’s convinced himself that I just have hella money and because I won’t move him out here and pay his way through school or fund any of his ideas, I’m not a good sister. He’s the only boy in the family, so everybody has always babied his big ass. I’m not doing that. I’ve worked hard. I’ve earned everything that I have. He can do the same.”

“I understand that. Ain’t shit free.”

She looks at him in disbelief. Everyone (her family and old friends from back home) felt like she was being too harsh on her brother for wanting him to put in some kind of work. They had always just given him what he wanted, no matter the cost. Phoenix had worked for everything. She had a job at 16 while her brother did whatever he wanted. He was given his first car from an uncle while Phoenix saved up her money to get herself one. That same car she saved up for is the same car that she drove to California. Everyone excused her brother actions because he was just a free spirit. Phoenix was too but she still had some discipline.

“Why you look at me like that?” Erik asked.

“Because… you’re the first person to actually agree with me.”

“Hell yeah, I agree with you! That nigga better get a damn job.” That made her laugh. “Phoenix and Zion though. Interesting names for twins.”

“Our names were gonna be Zues and Megara since Hercules was my mama’s favorite movie.” Erik burst into laughter. “Thank God my grandma threw a bible at her ass and put a stop to that.” Phoenix joined in on the laughing.

Erik wiped a tear from his eyes, his laughter calming down. “Oh man,” he tapped on the counter, looking as though he had something else to say.  “Speaking of names though. Um, can I tell you a secret?”

“Let me guess, Erik isn’t your real name or something?” she says, jokingly. Erik just looks at her, eyebrows raised. His silence answering his question. She slams her hand on the counter. “ERIK ISN’T YOUR REAL NAME?” she starts to raise up from the barstool. 

Erik stops her, grabbing her arm. “Hold up. Hold up.” she snatches her arm from his hold. “Hear me out.” she motions for him to continue. “Technically, Erik is my name, but I also have my Wakandian name.”

“You better not be fucking with me.”

“I’m dead serious. I’m Erik Stevens but technically, my real name is N’Jadaka.”

Phoenix takes a deep breath, staring at him like he has three heads. A whole minute passed with her just looking at him.  “I need more wine.” she finally says.

“Nah,” Erik stands, taking Phoenix’s hand, “ I know what you need.

Some dick! Her brain screamed at her. “What’s that?”

She followed him to the couch. He turned on the tv and picked up a blunt from the coffee table. They lean into each other, shoulder to shoulder as Erik lights the blunt, taking two drags of it and passing it to Phoenix. She takes a hit, holding in the smoke longer than she needed and slowly blowing it out. They passed the blunt back and forth until it was gone. They settled into the couch as Naruto played on the tv. Phoenix had come clean during one of their late night facetime calls that she started watching the show while he was gone and that she really liked it. They agreed to watch it together and here they were. As their highs hit them more, Erik dimmed the lights in the living room and got comfortable laying on Phoenix’s lap. They remained in this position until Phoenix’s legs were numb. She repositioned herself under him to lay fully on her back and he placed his body over hers, resting his head on stomach. He was heavy but she liked it. She wanted him to stay there forever.

Phoenix had been absentmindedly playing in Erik’s locs for an entire episode. When she realized what she was doing, she stopped. His hand came out of nowhere and placed her hand back in his hair. She giggled and continued rubbing his scalp again. She looked down at him and noticed that his eyes were closed. This man was falling asleep.

“Erik…” she called him softly.

“Hm.” he moaned.

“Are you sleep?”

“I’m resting my eyes.” his voice was low and raspy. He was definitely asleep. Phoenix waited a couple minutes before calling his name again, but this time she didn’t receive a response. She pulled out her phone, opening her front camera and took a picture of them. Erik’s face buried in her stomach and her fingers, tangled in his locs. She then opened her Instagram, swiping to make a story. A boomerang of course. She made one with the caption ‘Niggas be like, I’m just resting my eyes.’ She posted it and sat her phone down on the floor. She was pretty tired herself but the truth is, she didn’t want to leave. She wanted to stay right here, under him. So she did.

--------

Erik naturally woke up a little after  7am. He wanted to lay with Phoenix longer but his body was so used to waking up early, he knew he had to just get up. As soon as he moved from off of her, she curled up into the fetal position. He grabbed a blanket, placing it over Phoenix’s now balled up body. He stood over her, admiring how peaceful she looked while sleep. He then headed upstairs into his bathroom to brush his teeth and wash his face. He changed into some compression pants and basketball shorts. He remained shirtless and went out to his workout area and began his at home workout.

An hour later, he was sweaty and tired. He checked over the railing to see Phoenix still asleep. She was still balled up in the same spot. He laughed to himself remembering that she never wakes up before noon. He goes back into his bathroom to shower and change into some fresh clothes. He left his locs to lay wildly over his face and came back downstairs to clean up last night’s dishes. The clanking of the dishes and ruffles of the dishwasher still didn’t get Phoenix to wake up. She was a hard sleeper. The opposite of Erik. Maybe it was his Navy training, but Erik could hear wind shift directions in his sleep. It was still early, just after 10. He’s let her sleep in some more.

He sat near her on the couch to watch some tv and lazily scrolled through his phone. He opened the Instagram app and the first thing he noticed was Phoenix’s profile picture at the top of his screen, glowing pink. He tapped it and the boomerang of them played over and over. He looked at her from the corner of his eye. He did everything he could to conceal the grin that threatened to appear on his face as if someone was watching. He watched it more times than he would care to admit. Phoenix began to stir in her sleep. One of her feet poked out from under the blanket. Her sock was missing and her neon pink toes struggled to find shelter under his thigh. He picked up her foot, setting it on his lap and started massaging her foot. He did this while watching tv until his fingers were tired.

It was approaching noon and Phoenix still hadn’t budged. She had a hair appointment in a few hours and Erik knew it was time to wake her. He softly shook her leg, calling her name.

“Philly. C’mon, baby girl. Get up.”

“Hm?” she moaning from under the blanket.

“Get up.”

He had to shake her a little harder for her to actually wake up. She sat up, stretching her arms over her head. She looked disheveled-- her hair were all over her head, she looked confused about where she was and she was missing a sock.

“Morning, baby girl.” He sat back, rubbing her unsocked foot again.

“Morning.” she yawned. She stared blankly ahead, trying to process that she’s awake now. The fresh scent of his body lotion traveled under her nose and she looked at him, taking in the fact that he was fully dressed and looked damn good.

“You smell good.” her tired voice rung out.

“Thank you.”

“How long have you been up?”

“Like seven thirty.”

She shook her head, “Early as fuck,” She rubbed the sleep from her eyes. “What time is it now?”

“Almost noon. Figured I’d wake you up so you’re not late for your hair appointment.”

Phoenix shifted her body and laid her head on his lap. “I don’t want to go to that.”

“Nah, Phoenix. Get yo’ ass up. You’re not about to blame me for your hair not being done later.”

Phoenix moaned in protest. He slipped his hand in her curls, rubbing her head. “How am I supposed to get up and you’re doing shit like this?”

He stopped and lifted her up from him. He held her chin, “Because… you need to go wash your hair, wash your face, brush them teeth and put some lotion on this ashy ass foot you had on me.”

She swatted his hand from her face. “You can suck my ass, Erik. My foot ain’t ashy.”

“I’ll do more than suck your ass, baby girl.” he licked his lips. Phoenix watched closely as his tongue grazed his lips. She had zoned out, flashing back to all of the dreams that she’s been having of him doing just what he said. Her breathing hitched and pulled her bottom lip between her teeth. The snapping of his fingers in front of her face, snatched her from her mind.

“Hm?”

He raised a brow at her. “You were thinking about me sucking your ass, huh?”

“What-- No!”

“Mhm.” he chuckled.

“I see you want to start with me early today.” she says as she stands and searches under the blanket for her sock.

“Early? Girl, half the damn day is gone.”

“Whatever. It’s early to me.” She finds her sock and sits down to put it on. She feels on the floor for her phone, checking it and seeing that the group chat with her friends is currently up in flames with 23 unread messages. She swipes to open the thread and finds that she’s butt of their jokes.

Mica: I know Phoenix up. She’s avoiding us right now.

Camren: lmao. That’s because Erik giving her that morning wood.

Mica: Right! “Niggas be like” head ass.

Ava: She think she slick too. Y’all notice how she made sure you couldn’t see his face?

Camren: yessss! No face. No Case.

Mica: lmfao.

“Oh my goodness.” Phoenix drags a hand over her face.

“What’s wrong?”

“My crew as you call them, they’re lighting my ass up right now about something I posted on Instagram.”

“Oh, that boomerang?” Her head snapped in his direction. “Yeah, I seen that.” he bit his lip to stop himself from smiling.

“How did you see that?”

“I follow you.”

“What? When-- when did you follow me?”

Erik shifted his focus to his phone, looking unbothered at the fact that he just snitched on himself. “I been following you.”

“Since when?”

“Don’t worry about all that. Stop being fake bougie and follow me back though.”

Phoenix was stunned that she didn’t know this information. She felt exposed. “This is weird. What’s your name?”

He snatched her phone from her hands and searched his name @Kingkill_ . His page was private so he requested a follow from her page. He exited out of the app and opened her messages, going to her group chat. Phoenix watched, confused as to what he was going to do. He tapped the camera icon and the camera popped up on screen.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

Erik pushed Phoenix down onto her back, and straddled himself over her. She tried to grab the phone but he held her wrist in place and tapped the red button to record. He started dramatically humping her and laughing.

“Get off me nigga.” she shouted.

“Hold on, baby. I’m almost done.”

One of Phoenix’s hands broke free from his grip and she swung on him, reaching for her phone. He jumped up and ran. She pushed herself up from the couch going after him. He ran into his guest bedroom and locked the door. Phoenix banged on the door, shouting for him to open the door.

“I will break this bitch down. Open the door Erik.”

“Try it if you want to.”

Erik leaned his large figure against the shaking door. He proceeded to send the compromising video to her friends in the group chat. After hitting send, he unlocks the door and Phoenix stands there looking pissed with her arms folded over her chest. He hands her the phone and she snatches it and storms off.

“You really mad?” He goes after her.

She tries her best to not break her fake mad face. But she couldn’t hold it. “You play too much. They’re about to drag my ass.”

“C’mere.” He grabbed her and wrapped his arms around her, placing kisses all over her face. “You like it on the low.” She pushed herself off of him.

“I have to go get my hair done. I’ll see your childish ass later.”

As she turned to go put on her shoes, Erik smacks her on her butt and follows her to the door. All ready to go, she goes in for a hug and quickly gripped his face in her small hand and blew her breath in his face. The smile on his face dropped and snatched his face away. “You nasty as hell! Get out of my house.”

Phoenix broke down in laughter. “That’s what you get for playing.” She opens the door, stepping out into the hallway. Erik is being extra, pinching his nose and waving her out. She winks at him, “See you later, N’Jadaka.”

--------------

Tags: @purple-apricots @abeautifulmindexposed @lostennyc @missshae @tip222u @janelledarling @lushloaded @chaneajoyyy @thadelightfulone @raysunshine78 @toniilaney @purpleskiesxhopefuldreams @elaindeereads

***Let me know if you want to be tagged. :)

#erik stevens #erik killmonger #erik killmonger x OC #erik x phoenix #the elevator bae #shaebewriting #black panther #erik killmonger x black oc

[clockworkswans]

thoughts on mots:7?? *eyes emoji*

aaaaaaah it feels like SO LONG since we’ve had music, even though we get so much content!  i feel so spoilt lmao.

think i’m gonna skip the tracks from persona, they’re all legends but i’ll end up making this ten pages long otherwise!

under the cut cause it’s looooooong, oops.

interlude shadow - this had some serious challenge coming after its god-tier predecessor, seesaw, ngl, but WOW. yoongi’s solo songs have such a unique style despite being different genres/moods and his lyrics are always what i especially look forward to diving into and shadow was no different! a lot of people say this too but the autotune works SO WELL for him and the way he plays with the rhythms in shadow is amazing. and that last section?? EXPLOSIVE. that’s gonna slay on tour oh my god.

black swan - i wish i’d made notes when it first came out but it took me a while to get used to this sound because it was so interesting and haunting. the topics in this song are so relatable and frightening tbh, it’s something i feel a lot recently, that fear of losing passion for your hobbies and job, etc, and surrendering to the darker emotions of giving up on those dreams (wow, dark, CHILL). after seeing the first performance of it as well!! omg!! some of their absolute BEST choreo yet, easily.

filter - mr. park. JIMIN. I was not prepared for this song and it’s so sexy and smooth and i want to scream thinking about choreo for this on tour, wtf man. this song was my jam right away!! the latin vibes!! rumba/salsa in a club at 2am vibes!! also idk if this is misreading the lyrics but i love the lowkey dark/seductive undertone of making anyone fall in love with you/celeb perception, etc. (probably reading way too much into it lol but still, loved the lyrics). But yes, WOW. Can he let me choreo pls?? i want him to have a CHAIR and a suit and tie and to absolutely destrOY us.

my time - before i go into this, i wanna say how much i loved the vocal line doing completely different stuff and defying all my expectations. the mood of this song is so unique and the slow rhythm with his just…absolutely gorgeous emotive voice makes it so refreshing. Also!! something i found really cool is jungkook doing stuff that’s more complex in emotion and a bit sadder/darker? he’s always had the happy golden perfect boyTM vibe and that’s cute af but also this song lets him be a bit confusing and mature and lost for once. This song hit me quite personally too because the lyrics about time and distance hit close to home as i have friends and loved ones moving out of my life and i just wanna feel not so stuck. I can’t WAIT to see what kind of staging he’ll do for this?? it could be anything lol, i really can’t guess.

louder than bombs - legit EVERYTHING i wanted from a troye/bts collaboration project oh my god. The music and build-up for this song is so bittersweet and haunting, the VOCALS oh my god?? truly stole my breath, wow. the rap line verses had some seriously hard-hitting lyrics too, the lower ranges of namjoon and yoongi made my heart STOP. (something i’ve always loved with bts is the way they play with flow through members taking different parts, which sounds so obvious lol, it’s what you do with a group, but i always love the way bts uses their members’ tones/styles to create a great mix in a song). I feel like this song truly sets up the recurring theme of acknowledging and embracing the good and bad, the wholeness of it is really vulnerable and - pun intended - explosive! it reminds me of the ‘sing louder to drown out the pain’ kind of mindset. sometimes you just gotta sing louder and sadder and ache.

ON - i actually don’t have much to say on this one because it’s just SO BTS and perfect for a title track and will absolutely GO OFF live. also the choreo is hard as hell lmao GOOD LUCK PEOPLE TRYING TO LEARN IT. also i’m gonna say it alongside everyone else but…JUNGKOOK’S HOLY BRIDGE!!!!!!!!!!!

Ugh! - *aroused and scared.* this beat!!!! slaps!!! rapline songs can never fail tbh, also….i think i already love this more than outro: tear and we haven’t even had a performance lol. I don’t have any coherent thoughts to add other than HOLYYY SHIIIIT. This will be so fierce live??? i’m gonna get whiplash headbanging probably. also…can they PLEASE do choreo for that last bit??? please. please.

zero o’clock - lol some songs just make you ugly sob and then you read the lyrics and ABSOLUTELY SOB. this little asshole right here came for my entire heart. it’s pretty spot on for how i feel right now: just get through the day and wait for the next and try and be a bit happier. the bittersweet, hopeful tone is so lovely and really touching. it’s heartbreaking ngl, but in a healing, therapeutic way. it’s so soft and mellow without being too air-y which is pretty hard to get right tbh.

inner child - my favourite vocal line solo!!! i’m always so in love with taehyung’s solo songs tbh, his voice and songs are always my cup of tea, thank you for being a true hopeless romantic sir. this song is SO end-of-indie-movie and i’m completely hooked on it already, i walk to work and keep looping it and it makes me smile and tear up just thinking about hearing it live already. I love how it’s a love letter to his younger self, comforting, sad and so full of heart and acceptance. We all find it hard to look back but to have a song that says it’s okay to be proud of every version of yourself and your growth is AMAZING. i haven’t stopped thinking of the ‘we gonna change’ and i’ll give you my world’ lines. truly magical.

friends - shut up this is the SWEETEST SONG EVER. so my best friend is finally moving away from the hometown we’ve shared for 11 years and i am very vulnerable about it right now, so this coming out when it did?? a bit of an attack lol. but it really made me smile and be SO GRATEFUL to her, and to everyone else in my life and the bonds i have around me. jimin and tae’s friendship is the sweetest thing and to have them release a platonic love song??? to sing on tour together?? after growing up and becoming legends together? wow. talk about bff goals. the adorable details in the lyrics make it so personal and genuine, and the crowd-chanting bits in the chorus are gonna sound awesome live. also not to get sappy and cheesy but this also makes me think of all the friends people have made in this fandom and community and how we’re all enjoying this awesome thing together? love that, man.

moon - THAT’S THE LOML, KIM SEOKJIN, SLAYING AGAIN. awake and epiphany were both so epic and emotional in the traditional ballad genre, so hearing this was just?? SO COOL. it’s so happy and sweet and shows off his high range effortlessly. this has such an addictive melody, i kept humming it at work today and driving myself nuts lmao. it makes me think of summer days and hanging out with friends or on your own in the sun, reading. i also love how he expanded on ‘beauty’ as it’s always a word thrown at him lol, but he made it so innocent and lovely, like idk if he’s fed up of everyone yelling handsome at him and embarrassing him lmao but it was so wholesome of him to then turn around and make a song about appreciating subtle beauty and the bonds between army and bts (god i’m LAME, blame this album).

respect - this song’s such a VIBE. love the founders of bts doing a song together, god, just bros being bros and jamming together?? WE LOVE TO SEE IT. I didn’t realise how much i’d love this duo together but it’s so natural and you can see how much they love writing and working together. the lyrics are so fun and snarky and the throwback old-school bts vibe is PERFECT. it’s that clever thing they do of re-visiting older works and combining it with your present self to make something familiar yet different. so so cool.

we are bulletproof: eternal - omg so the first line of this i started laughing so hard because i was SO SURE it would be a Concert Jam™. then i sobered up pretty quickly and cue the tears and emotions lmao. This song gives me heartbeat/sea/mikrokosmos energy, it falls in that ‘epic emotional singalong’ genre they do beautifully. you bet your ass i’m gonna be bawling at this on the tour. i lost it crying in that last bridge when they say ‘why are you still walking with us’, it just hit me that wow, i’ve been a part of this journey and tbh, it’s gonna stay with me for life. the emotions packed into this song are overwhelming af whilst still being a celebration of the 7 years bts have been together, and the individual achievements too, of them and also armys? idk it feels very collective ‘us’ vibe and it’s beautiful. 

outro: ego - READY, SET AND BEGIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MAP OF THE SOUL MAP OF THE AAAAAAAAAAAL THAT’S MY EGOOOOOOOOOO. Oh my god, this song just slays everything tbh. When it came out i could not stop repeating it for the entire week and i’m still so in love with it. By far one of my favourite solos of the album! it’s so colourful, clever and A DANCE BOP. It’s everything about why i bias jhope and his style is freaking awesome. 

okay wow, all done!!!!!

#bts #mots 7 #album review

[altrcistics]

❄️❄️ –––– have you seen [ ESME MACMILLAN ] since the storm? some say they look like [ DANIELLE CAMPBELL ] but they’re [ 21 ]  & go by [ THE TACITURN ].  [ SHE ] lived in halloway for [ 11 YEARS ] & they are originally from [ LONDON ]. before the town vanished they were studying [ MEDICINE ] and lived at [ UNI BLVD ]. most people knew the [ CISFEMALE ] as [ ALTRUISTIC ] but i’ve heard they can also be [ RETICENT ]. for some reason, they feel [ UNEASY ] about the town’s disappearance.    ––– 

–––––– well , well if it isn’t me , b , with a broken theme !! but i’m too eager to pay any mind to it right now , and i’ve got homework due at midnight that has to happen after i get this baby posted . hi friends !! very excited to be here . this is my soul baby esme who is just trying her gd best and is stressed out 99% of the time . needs a 12 hour nap and maybe a therapist . summed up in a word ? soft , probably . i hope you love her like i do anYWAY GONNA leave this here and get to plotting so you can also hit me up at  b a y#9956 on discord!! 

LONDON.

weston and anna macmillan never planned on having a child. they were young and in love, and both had struck the genetic lottery – weston with his brains, anna with her trust fund. while weston was up and coming in the world of corporate law, anna had spent her life in pointe shoes and was at the top of her game as a principle dancer for the royal ballet in london. they were picturesque… perfect, even. until anna found herself to be three weeks late and their dazzling little dream life reached its first hiccup.

that hiccup entered the world screaming a whole nine months later!! tiny blue eyed esme grace macmillan was a fuckin handful even before she was born. as anna went through prenatal checkups, she found that her heartbeat was irregular. further tests concluded that she had hypertrophic cardiomyopathy (hcm) which is a genetic condition that affects the muscles in the heart and causes irregular blood flow. it’s not fatal, but it is hereditary and gets riskier with physical exertion. being a new mother, anna made the decision to shelve ballet and focus on this new chapter of her life.

which was probably a good thing! she loved being a mom, and it was safe to say that having a set of eyes on esme at all times was the right choice. she was restless and constantly full of energy. from a really young age, it became apparent that esme had inherited some of the best parts of her parents. she got her dad’s brains, catching onto things quickly and learning to walk and talk earlier than most. this turned into simple reading and messy writing shortly after. she wasn’t a very social kid though, didn’t talk much.

as soon as esme was old enough, she was put into tiny pink ballet slippers. she took a liking to dance, and this is when they realized she’d also inherited her mother’s natural grace. early on, it looked like she’d easily follow in her mother’s footsteps.

dance really really opened esme up. it was here that she started making friends and began tip toeing outside of her comfort zone and opening up a little bit, but her direction changed when she was six and discovered figure skating.

it was technical and lyrical like ballet, but it was far more challenging. even as a kid, esme loved a good challenge. so her parents bought her a pair of skates, and the rest is history. as she grew up, her weekends were occupied with practices, performances, and eventually competitions. she was a natural. and for the first time there was an air of confidence about her.

though she loved it more than anything in the world, her life soon came to revolve around school and skating.  it caused her to miss out on a normal childhood, never really making friends close enough to be invited to sleepovers or birthday parties.

that made the move much easier for esme. when she was 10, her father’s firm went international and he was put in charge of the american branch. thus, the macmillans hopped across the atlantic and moved to halloway for a fresh start, a new adventure.

HALLOWAY.

she took a small break from competitive skating when they moved; it was her parents’ choice in hopes of her actually making friends in new hampshire. and it worked! for a while. esme was still quiet, still a little too book smart and a little less than street smart. even as a kid, she was awkward, but she was kind and clever and for the most part — people liked her.

and life was good for a long time! she got back into skating, and around the time she was thirteen she showed no signs of stopping. in fact, her sights were set on an olympic medal, and though her parents were wary of her inherited condition, they supported her in every possible way.

entering high school, life got a little bit harder. her schoolwork and training kept her pretty tied up, and it was often really hard for her to balance a social life along with that. she didn’t show up to every party. she didn’t really have any interest in going on dates. she kept up with her friends and made time for the important things, but she wasn’t exactly the most open person.

this backfired real quick!! as a freshman, at a bonfire, a senior boy kinda came onto her and when she said nope no thank you, he got pissed. instead of taking rejection Like A Man, he decided to spread a little rumor about them hooking up. this combined with her quiet nature kind of caused her to get a bit of a reputation of being aloof and a bit easy which is so far from the truth. but high school is high school!! and people were fuckin mean about it for a long time thereafter!

around this time was also when her parents sorta…. fell out of love. as in… her father got a little power hungry, a little bored of his life, and like the cliche he is started having an affair. the secrecy of it didn’t last… long and he ultimately left both anna and esme. she felt kind of.. abandoned. like they weren’t good enough almost but.. she and her mom got . even closer because of it tbh. the macmillan girls don’t need no man!!

so she threw herself into her studies and even more so into skating. she trained in the morning and on the weekends, year round. winning competitions made her feel good, and she kept doing so. when she was fifteen, she competed at the world figure skating championship. though she didn’t medal, her scores were impressive and she became an alternate for the us figure skating team at 16. being so close to those five rings was enough to push her further.

she left traditional high school and threw herself even further into figure skating. (this only fueled halloway rumors that she was a bit of a snob akjdfha) after graduating, she enrolled at halloway part time in order to slowly get through her gen eds while training for, yup, you guessed it, the 2018 olympics.

and ya know what? it paid off. at 20, she’d had two world’s silvers and a world’s gold under her belt as she competed in the winter games. her whole life had been leading up to that moment, and she brought home an olympic gold medal in women’s figure skating. that’s right, ya girl fucking peaked.

it was a high, for a while. and she rode it quietly and gracefully. idk she was PROUD ok she worked so hard…. but her incessant need to be perfect and to continuously better herself was nagging in the back of her mind. she wasn’t sure how you could really get better than gold at the olympics.

needless to say, she’s in the midst of a bit of an identity crisis. with her heart condition and ya know aging… she knows figure skating isn’t a forever-thing. so she went back to halloway, taking an interest in medicine and trying to understand her own weakness— a weak heart. she began studying medicine and to fell in love with that profession, but . she honestly can’t stay off of the ice. activate existential dread! she doesn’t actually know who she is!

and then the heckin storm happened smh

NEW HALLOWAY.

with a calm exterior and a notorious knack for being maternal . . . someone , somewhere along the line said hey let’s put esme in charge of the hospital to which she said in a john-mulaney-esque voice . . . huh ? what ? huh ? what ??? huh ???? and then did it anyway

if she’s not on call or working at the hospital , best believe she’s studying because she’ll be the first to tell you she has no business calling herself a doctor 

it’s been months!! since!! they disappeared!! and she’s sort of adjusting to this new life which often makes her feel very, very guilty because she doesn’t know what’s happened to her mother at this point

when everything was frozen she still found time to escape and do some skating on the lake aksdjfhas

for the most part, she keeps herself busy ... someone like .... help her tho

PERSONALITY.

esme’s naturally introverted. she likes people, but she’s a textbook people pleaser and gets exhausted quickly when she’s socializing. she’s always been quiet, never the center of attention (unless on ice) and never the loudest voice in the room. when she does speak, though, it’s purposeful and articulate. the sort of ‘she doesn’t talk much but when she does it’s important’ kinda thing idk. she’s not meek ya know.. just reserved

she’s naturally… very kind. cares a lot about other people but struggles to express that which is why she gravitates towards the profession of medicine. she enjoys helping people ya know

ya girl keeps her shit close to her chest. doesn’t really want to bother anyone with her own shit and takes her anger out in physical activity, disassociates from her sadness by reading. a lot of people know her but not on a deep level. tbh does she even know herself? prob not

she’s not a stick in the mud, but she does need a little push every now and then. she lets loose when she’s around people that she’s comfortable with tbh. behind the prim and proper macmillan facade is.. a bit of a goofball. does not hesitate to participate in dramatically karaoke or midnight swims in a lake.

SOFT as fuck but she’s not one to be walked all over. she’s clever as all get out and when snapped at harshly enough won’t hesitate to snap back. she doesn’t get angry to the point of showing it easily, but when she does, she’s very purposeful with her words. don’t underestimate her she hATES being underestimated

competitive as heck. in academics, in sports, in board games. she’s a sweetheart but she will wreck you in spite and malice or sorry bc she just… has a competitive nature

really does give a shit about what people think of her. like… wants to be liked. not being liked by some people in high school really fucked w her bc she just….. can’t help caring about how other people perceive her and wants it to be positively. it’s in part because of how she was raised?? she grew up in a pretty monitored, strict environment between rigorous training and her parents’ world of the rich (will this change after the storm tho??? we’ll SEE)

values honesty like has absolutely 0 time to be lied to and 0 time for bullshit

SO curious, always ready to learn more

will make a fool of herself to see you laugh

a lil bit of amy santiago.. a lil bit of rory gilmore.. a lil bit of caroline forbes..

needs to relax; constantly Anxious

s t u b b o r n

literally never sleeps

doesn’t curse bc there are more clever ways to express anger

reputation: aloof and stuck up. reality: literally just shy lmao

is TRYING VERY HARD

WANTED PLOTS.

i have a few connection ideas here!! and a tag here!! but also…

friends from halloway that she’s just… straight up been pals with since she moved there

i’m… constantly thirsty for … girl gang shit. any of y’all watch the bold type? i eat that shit uP AND IT’S all i NeED TO BE . HAPPY OK

esme’s an only child and i would love to see a sibling-like bond for her

academic rivals pls and thank!! mayb in their major…. mayb back in high school…. paris vs rory anyone?

the maya to her riley oh man

a bad influence or even… the polar opposite . to her Mom Friend-ness

someone else who grew up in the realm of rich parents like galas suck but at least we got each other!!

neighbors!!

new friends! people who she’s met through halloway and quickly taken a liking to. super interesting dynamic bc… while she’s eager to know u she’s not so eager to …. open up lmao

previous roommates

y’all into angsty exes? i know this is the end of the world and all but that don’t mean wE CAN’T get SAD

someone she became friends w via… skating yikes akjdfha i swear that’s not her only personality trait

someone she agreed to tutor!! or study buddies!! ‘i’m going to cry literal tears on my flashcards please study with me!’

someone she was forced to be friend with post-storm. they step on each other’s toes but suck it up for the sake of everyone else

i .. love combining ideas and brainstorming too so!!! we can also do that!!

if you made it this far i’m literally going to cry bc i love you already for reading a rambling like this . aNYWAY !! that’s my esme. feel free to smash the like and i’ll come to you or message me on discord!! 

#hallowayintro #OOOOOF #admin b is most certainly not killing it today #but pls just.... love me anyway

[strawberryybird]

Me sees the character songs post, immediately wants to know what character songs you have for the characters and why.

ok so. welcome to the rabbit hole that is my music taste and what is my no.1 most frequently done activity.. plastering emotions i have for fictional characters all over my music taste. I restricted myself to ¾ songs for each character & then to Edie, Hubert, Dorothea, Lysithea & Byleth because otherwise we’d be here all day (and those are the Primary Daydream Candidates rn)

under a rm because as im sure we’ve all seen.. i just don’t fucking stop.. also i got weirdly deep about some of these topics. i don’t know how to tag it. tread careful?

Here are some songs.. welcome to my (notoriously bad) music taste. alsoi go in Very heavy handed about it all. i make only a few apologies:

Edelgard:Everybody wants to rule the word - tears for fears. (ucan go with Lorde’s cover but i prefer the original bc im like that.) i meanit’s pretty heavy handed but it’s such an Edelgard song it !!!! fuels my ficwriting. if it’s not so very Edelgard’s relationship with twsitd then idk whatto tell you. plus it’s an iconic song

Medicine - daughter. (daughter is My Favourite Band. Ever. I cannot articulate how much ilove their (and ex:re’s) music!!) anway. this is a hegegard song & i don’ttake constructive criticism. I’ll reiterate this better in other descriptions,but please don’t take my inclusion of a song about such a topic as adevaluation of it in any way, that’s not my intention. The reason I go so feralfor Hegegard is because im no stranger to watching someone you care about hurt themselvesin a way you can’t stop, and that’s what the AM ending evokes in me. Hence: asong I love that one can read the same story in. And then the lyrics ‘You couldstill be / What you want to / What you said you were / When I met you” just !! parallelsEdge of Dawn’s lyrics about regret & overall I’m very feral about this.

(Don’t Fear) The Reaper - blue oystercult. this is PRIME Edelgard telling freshly-awokenbyleth she’s been waging war for 5 years. also !!!! “Seasonsdon’t fear the reaper / Nor do the wind, the sun or the rain, we can be likethey are” >>> “The Edge of Dawn (Seasons ofWarfare) (フレスベルグの少女～風花雪月～,lit. Girl of Hresvelg ~Wind, Flower, Snow, Moon~)” .. the link is tenuous but coincidence?? is it, fuck.

Seneca - Novo Amor. this is another one of those songs that could mean something different to everyone. very easy to project onto, is novo amor. I like the story of being prepared to run and break ties at any given moment, but ending up - emotionally or physically - in the same place one always was. apart from the glaring tie of how Edelgard returned to garreg mach, this song is a lot of me trying to repatriate Edelgard’s lack of emotional arc in the game by saying . well. this song. 

You can call me Al -  paul simon. am i projecting edeleth thoughts onto my favourite song? it’s morelikely than you think!!! but also i like the chorus and all the exasperating ‘call me el’jokes i can make.. i may be half writing a fic based on this song.

Dorothea:Agnes - glass animals. so i have significant emotions about edelthea at the best of times !! and this song !!! really bloody hits it home !! yes I knowit’s got a really heavy and real subject matter and I’m not trying to devalueit or minimise it.. but the story - about watching someone close to you hurtthemselves/get hurt, and doing so in ways you can’t stop them from - is adamn real one. And a Lot of why I love Dorothea’s character in the gamebecause she’s the one who can’t stop her friends from getting hurt – through exposureto warfare .. or  stopping Edelgard becomingthe monster at the end of the story. Even though she’s one of the healers onthe beagle’s team. And I feel that.

Ex’s and Oh’s – Elle King. So you know that one spn fanvid featuringthis song about all of dean winchester’s relationships? That, but for my flirting Queen Dorothea Arnault. (and I have the dumbest most fun little headcanon thatonce Dorothea and Sylvain derailed a lgbt+ society meeting whilst Edie wastrying to go over the budget by blasting this song and dancing on the table.The idea makes me laugh)

Hold My Girl – George Ezra. The whole thing about wanting just that onemoment to cherish the people you love for one moment more before you have goout face the world? If that’s not the timeskip’d Dorothea Arnault Aesthetic, Idon’t know what is.

(Call Me Out – sea girls. On a much lighter note, this song is fueling the later half of mydrafts of road trip au. And it’s literally because of that one verse. im gayshut up.)

Hubert:Red Right Hand – nick cave and the bad seeds. Is it on the nose? Is itheavy handed? Oh u fuckin bet but that won’t stop me!!! A) it’s a good song. ItIs. B) I like narrative songs. C) Any ‘red right hand’ symbolism in Anycharacter has me love them immediately and also plonk this song in the middleof any playlist about them. sure, the artic monkeys version might be a bit more on hubert’s brand.. but my mileage varies about it lmao

I had fortress by bear’s den earmarked for Hubie, as I think it’s easilyread about boundaries and a one sided intense relationship & that’s! Hubiebaybee! But I can’t possibly cover unhealthy relationships without shoving thealbum Hospice by The Antlers into every which way of it. It’s by no meansdirectly translatable to Edelgard and hubert’s relationship and it’s arguable ifI should even mention it in the same sentence as a bloody fictional character… that beingsaid, I’ve been having emotions about:Shiva – the antlers. This song specifically reads to me to be a really goodarticulation of my own thoughts about Hubert’s perspective of Edie getting experimentedon. heavy but damn. I like that. I just see a lot of what their teen years togethermust have been like in Shiva.

Time – Pink Floyd. Ok so.. it’s like Hubert in parallel bc I think thissong is a lot about searching for a purpose/reason or a quote unquote bloodyred path in life. And I may have been listening to it when I watched Hubert/DorotheaA support & now it’s just permanently associated with it bc it complementedit so well. And I like it. So . it stays. It’s very much a beagles song to meas well.

Lysithea:The Beautiful Dream – George Ezra. Ok so I read this Edelysithea ficwith this on repeat bc the title reminded me of it, and then I stuck it onrepeat because it worked too well and now.. im crying.. and i like the inflection of Lysithea’s bitterness over the titular lyric. (but also, it remains one of my steadfast edeleth songs.. sorry lys)

Secrets (Cellar Door) – Radical Face. Another Edelgard&/Lysitheasong!! I really like their relationship ok. And given the song itself can beread straight or an allegory for whatever you particularly want, but the storyis just too on the nose for me not to mention it here.(also general advocation of listening to the whole of radical face’s musicbecause I’ve loved it for years now & the work is beautiful.) (also it’swonderful for fe awakening projection. Or ur own.)

Oh Children – nick cave and the bad seeds. there’s a million different interpretations of this song, but to try nail a few onto Lysithea.. there’s the harry potter use of making/finding a light in the depths of tragedy & i love that for Lys. there’s the whole ‘the kids aren’t alright’ theme and it’s various depths. and i like narrative lyrics to plaster my large fictional-character-caused-emotions onto, so make of this one what you will.

Marianne (and Lysithea too if you like)Bad Blood – Radical Face. Ok so. This is one of my favourite songs in bloodyexistence, and it’s so loaded with meaning & it has a metric tonne of it. Icould wax lyrical about how much I love Radical Face’s work. I don’t want myinclusion of this song (specifically this one) to in any way devalue it. Butmusic is ofc incredibly subjective, and so is my reading of a lot of threehouses – in case it’s not bloody obvious by now. There’s a Lot of stories onecould take from Marianne’s character (and none of them are More Valid^tm thanany other), and I do see a very personal story in her – as I do in this song. Hgghhghive just spent 10 minutes trying to find an impersonal way to talk about twovery personal and relative stories, which naturally doesn’t work. That, and theway I read her story is Real Fucking Dicey for tumblr.com. so if this song is about accepting rejection because of parts of yourself so deep they’re in your blood, i think.. y’all can see.. where my neurodivergent gay self is going with this..

Byleth:Something to Believe In – Tom Walker. Yeah. You’re bloody welcome. If this isn’ta completely on the nose Byleth song, I’ll eat Dorothea’s hat.

Don’t Let the Man – Fatboy Slim. ~ And the sign said green-hairedpartially possessed emotionally void mercenaries need not apply for aprofessorship at the country’s most prestigious academic centre… ~

Emigrate - Novo Amor. this just fucking Got Me in the ‘actively choosing crimson flower’ feelings. im an emotional wreak but its aight. the lyrics just matched up too well for me to let it go !!!

Alps - Novo Amor. this hit me in the ‘i miss the gremlin child sothis’ feelings one day and now it’s permanently stuck that way.

Make Them Gold – chvrches. (this is very much associated with awakening’sfuture past kids and also the Carmilla series in my mind But!!) I love a story about‘if we’re all falling, we’re going down together’ and the magical power of teamwork, and how it brings out the best in people.. & that’s what this song& Byleth kinda bloody stand for ya know??

woooh.. oh my god . i need another cup of tea.

#ask #birb says what // #fe meta #that tag's just for kicks and so i can find this again #oh my god i just don't shut up sometimes #but oh my god that was fun #easiest way to get me into a mouse trap or something is to tell me to make a character playlist i s2g #anyway. thank you for the ask!!! #apologies for the brick wall of text!!! #hope someone out there found at least one part of this they liked that'd be rad #but like. i do this shit for ME lmao #kalinary

[swiss-cheeze]

Secretes from the Summer of 69’ || Brian May x reader

((Why are there not good gifs of Brian wtf?))

Warnings: uh, swearing, angst, shitty writing, like, one sexual innuendo. I wrote this in like; an hour or two so it’s really shitty.

A/N: it’s a song fic.

Listen to the song for better use I guess idk.

Lyrics are in bold

———

Growing up was never something for you, you always wanted to be a kid, or at least a teenager. You could get away with everything if you thought of the perfect cover story and had a good complexion, keeping fit always helped as well.

So when you sat down for that final exam you knew everything was going to change. Yeah you got a B- which is good and all, but you finished school; now what?

---

I got my first real six-string.

Bought it at the five-and-dime.

Played it 'til my fingers bled.

Was the summer of sixty-nine.

“Go again Brian” you said rewinding the tape.

“What? But that was perfect!” Brian said dramatically throwing his hands up, John groaned behind you as he came up and pressed the coms button.

“You missed a part dummy!” John said, “If you can’t do it then we’ll get Roger in there and see what happens!”

“What! What part!?” Brian retaliated.

“Just…” you sighed and placed your head in your hands as John kept the coms on, “just play from the start, go all the way through and we can pick and place later” you said exhausted.

“Whatever you say” Brian mumbled. The man put down his drink of water, made a motion to replay the tape and soon the drums and base floated through the room accompanied by Brian’s guitar; he was doing better on this one than any other.

Me and some guys from school.

Had a band and we tried real hard.

Jimmy quit, Jody got married.

I should've known we'd never get far.

“He hasn’t played this bad since Mike left” you said softly making John chuckle beside you.

“Aren’t you glad I came then” John stated as he sat down in a nearby wheelie chair with a large grin.

“Sarcasm isn’t a pretty look on you Deaky” you explained with a grin, you played with a few of the knobs on the control board before leaving it alone and turning around to look at John, “you were so shy and enclosed back then when you first came into the band”

“Shut up” John jokingly said with a smile.

“And the hair!” a voice exclaimed, it was Roger walking through the door with a cardboard tray, two cups of coffee and a tea no doubt, “the hair he had back then WOOF”

“You had that hair back then too don’t forget” John said with a chuckle as he grabbed the coffee Roger had handed him as you grabbed the one he handed to you.

“So, Brian’s still at it then yeah?” Roger said as he leant over the control panel and squinted through the glass, and Roger had the audacity to say his eyesight was fine, “sounds shit”, you whacked Roger in the arm as the man chuckled, followed by John and then you.

“He always sounds shit darling don’t flatter yourself” Freddie said walking through the door, “sorry I’m late, my poor darlings had a stomach bug and I had to take three of them to the vet. THREE!” Freddie exclaimed as he ripped off his sunglasses and landed on the couch with a ‘poof’, “I think it was the tuna I gave them as a treat, needless to say, my loves won’t be getting any tuna no more”

“Don’t you always feed them Tuna though?” Roger asked with a cocked eyebrow raised over his sunglasses.

“Yes but-“ Freddie began.

“Oh please don’t go on about what you feed them Freddie. Please” you said placing your head in your hands, “I’ve heard enough screeching thanks to Brian already, I don’t need you to add onto that” you said with a chuckle.

“Fine! I just won’t feed you then” Freddie said jokingly.

“You don’t feed me enough anyway” you mumbled before blowing a raspberry softly, a soft ‘ahem’ came from the sound booth door.

“I just tried to play my heart out and here you all are talking” Brian said as he sipped his tea, Roger grinned behind his coffee cup as Freddie and John snickered.

“Heart? What heart? All you’ve got is skin and bone my friend” you said with a smile.

“Oh hush hush, don’t hurt the poor boy” Freddie said with a wave of his hand and a grin on his lips. Brian rolled his eyes before slinking over to the couching and plopping down softly.

Oh, when I look back now

That summer seemed to last forever

And if I had the choice

Yeah, I'd always wanna be there

Those were the best days of my life

“Stop eye fucking” John groaned.

“Who?” Freddie asked as he looked between everyone.

“(Y/n) and Brian” John said with a sigh, “they keep looking at each other with these eye movements and I can tell they’re undressing each other as we speak and it is not nice to be able to see” the man said as he rubbed his forehead, seemingly scarred from what he had to witness.

“Well if you hadn’t have said anything we wouldn’t be envisioning it right now” Roger mumbled, “plus you’re the one who saw and thought of it, you have such a dirty mind Deaky” the man said with a grin.

“Well he does have the most kids” you said with a chuckle as you sipped your coffee. Brian shook his head as he laughed softly.

“You’re all a bunch of idiots you know that?” Brian asked as he looked to everyone in the room with a nice twinkle in his eye, “between you three” the man said with a finger drifting between Roger, you and John, “you each have one collective brain cell and none of you are using it right now”, you gasped dramatically and placed a hand on your chest and Roger pulled his glasses down his nose a little and John snorted softly.

“How RUDE!” you yelled, you stood up, “I don’t deserve such SLACK! Especially from a PESANT, like YOURSELF” you said, “come minions, we have work to do” you said to John and Roger; the two simply laughed softly (as did Fred and Brian) as you walked to the door, “no but seriously I gotta get to work otherwise I’ll be late” you said with an awkward grin.

“Oh shit yeah” Brian said, “I’ll see you out love, come on” the man said as he stood up and motioned for you to keep walking. The two of you had been together for close to nine years and only recently gotten hitched. Brian smiled down at you as you grabbed your bags and stood at the door, Brian looming over you.

“Work on your fingering” you said with a snicker making Brian roll his eyes.

“Yeah yeah” the man mumbled softly as he smiled, you smiled too as Brian bent down and kissed you softly as he held your elbow softly with one hand and his other on your cheek, “have fun at work okay?” Brian said as the two of you parted, you nodded.

“I will.” You smiled as you pecked the man on the lips once more before you started heading for the door, “I should be home for dinner, if I’m not then don’t wait up okay?” you asked, turning on your heel and walking backwards. Brian nodded.

“I’ll keep it in mind, don’t worry” Brian said softly, “love you!” the man said as he blew a kiss your way.

“Love you too babe!” you blew a kiss back as you turned just in time to get the door and walk out the place.

Ain't no use in complainin'.

When you've got a job to do.

Spent my evenings down at the drive-in.

And that's when I met you, yeah.

---

Brian didn’t actually know what your work even was, you had never told him, you just said it was something ‘top secret’ and something only you and your workmates needed to know. After being told this numerous times Brian ended up giving up and just treated it as if he knew.

Standin' on your mama's porch.

You told me that you'd wait forever.

Oh, and when you held my hand.

I knew that it was now or never.

Those were the best days of my life.

The thing was, legally you weren’t allowed to tell Brian, and otherwise you would have to-

Let’s not get into that just yet.

---

Oh, yeah

Back in the summer of sixty-nine, oh

---

Back when you and Brian had first started going out you were known as the ‘never would last’ couple. Brian was always the teacher’s pet, goody two shoes, be good boy, and you? You where the reckless, ambitious, ‘throw caution to the wind’, ‘do now, regret later’ person. You got into fights that Brian had to break you out of, he had to make sure you studied when a test came up, he was the one that helped you with your killer hangovers from those regretful ‘celebration’ nights when you got past an exam. You didn’t even properly start saying you and Brian where together until a year in, and even then it felt foreign on both your tongues, but you got over it, got past your reckless phase, studied and became a goodie that people could rely on.

Well, that’s what you let them believe anyway.

Man, we were killin' time, we were young and restless.

We needed to unwind.

I guess nothin' can last forever, forever, no.

Yeah.

---

Times change, people change and appearances need to be kept up. Brian was touring with Queen more than ever, yes you missed him, but this also meant you could get more work done without him around, this meant that you HAD to get reckless, wild, and out of your mind fucking crazy; within your job limits of course.

You watched Brian every time he came on live on the telly, he always dedicated a song to you, it was different each time but it was still cute and you loved it.

And now the times are changin'.

Look at everything that's come and gone.

Sometimes when I play that old six-string.

I think about you, wonder what went wrong.

That was, until the day shit hit the fan.

---

“Brian?” you asked shakily into the receiver.

“Yes love? You sound scared are you okay?” the man asked slightly concerned as he sat on the edge of the hotel couch the band was staying in.

“I-I. Fuck. Brian I made a mistake. Brian I’m so sorry” you said shakily as tears slowly started to cascade down your face, “nothing went right, we all fucked up and they found us. Everyone got out except me and-“

“Wait wait, we? Everyone? Escaped?” Brian chuckled awkwardly, “love, I…I don’t understand what you’re saying”

“I work for the Secret Service Brian” you said in one breath, “I’m in the worst branch, me and my team are the ones who get missions for-…for killing people, some jobs we have to assassinate someone, or-or we have to get certain information from something for someone else” you took a breath, “Brian I’m in jail, I was caught, I AM caught, my post wasn’t secured and the police got in and immediately took me in” you said quickly and shakily. Brian didn’t say anything, his soft breath was the only thing that came from the other side of the receiver. “Brian?” you asked, “Bri please respond” you whimpered softly.

“Ma’am” the guard said, “your time is up”.

“Fuck, um, o-okay.” You said quickly, “Bri I gotta go, please, come get me, I’m being held somewhere in-, fuck I think Germany? I don’t know. Bri please” by this point you were crying as the guard grabbed your arm roughly, “Bri please find me! I have a life sentence! Please!” you pleaded through your tears, you couldn’t end like this, “I LOVE YOU!”

Standin' on your mama's porch

You told me that it'd last forever

Oh, and when you held my hand

I knew that it was now or never

Those were the best days of my life

---

Thirteen years had passed and Brian hadn’t come for you. He had sent a letter, only one letter, stating that he wanted a divorce and even though with the amount of love he had for you, he couldn’t be with someone like you. You cried over that letter, your pillow and the jail cell you were held in had seen more tears then you cared to say.

Brian didn’t come for you, Roger didn’t call, and Freddie didn’t visit.

But John did.

He did all of those things, he couldn’t get you out of jail. But he sat with you outside your cell almost every chance he got. Brought you good food, new tapes to listen to, new books to read, and clothes. Almost anything you asked for.

So when you asked for another letter from Brian, John was definitely taken aback.

“A letter? From Brian?” John asked.

“Please John, I miss him so much” you said softly with tears in your eyes, you reached a hand out to touch John but the stern look you got given from the guard made you bring your hand back in quickly, “even just a ‘go away’!” you said with a watery smile, “I just need something from him. Please. I beg you”, John sighed softly as the bell rung for visiting hours to be over. He stood up as the guard came forward to start escorting him out.

“I’ll…ill see what I can do okay?” John asked, you nodded quickly with a smile, “alright. Next time I come I’ll try and bring a note from him”

“Thank you John! Thank you!” you sniffled as the guard started walking John out of the compound.

---

Oh, yeah

Back in the summer of sixty-nine, oh

It was the summer of sixty-nine, oh, yeah

Me and my baby in sixty-nine, oh

It was the summer, the summer, the summer of sixty-nine, yeah

“This is all he would give me” John said, it had been three months since John had last come to you, and this time he had something to give you. The man looked around to check the guards weren’t watching and slipped it into your cell quickly. You smiled to John widely as you started to open the note quickly, quietly, and trying not to break it.

‘(Y/n)

John told me you wanted a note. So here it is.

Yes I miss you.

Yes I still love you.

Yes I want to get back with you.

I didn’t have enough money back then to get you out but now I think I do. I think I can get you out. Deaky can tell you the finer details as I cannot through a piece of paper and pencil.

Please don’t think any low of me.

The only thing I ask from you is to tell me everything you had been keeping from me for all of those years we were together, what you did, how you did it and answer any of the questions I have to ask you.

I don’t want to start off where we left because that isn’t right.

I want to get to know you again, over dinner, a date if you will. But you must tell me everything I ask for, without hesitation and without keeping anything from me.

No more secretes.

We will have to take this next step together slowly and oh so carefully.

So, in the words of Bryan Adams.

‘Back in the summer of 69’

Bri x’

To say you had never been happier was an understatement as happy tears rolled down your cheeks and you held the note close.

#bohemian rhapsody #brian may #queen #roger taylor #freddie mercury #john deacon #brian may x reader #x reader #fanfiction

[atc74]

Worth Fighting For

Warnings: a break-up, Jensen singing, Jensen in the blue suit (ikr), tears, lots of tears...

Summary: Y/N helps Rob host a New Year’s Eve party, but what she doesn’t plan on is her ex...

Pairing: Jensen x Reader

Word Count: 3094 (with lyrics)

Written for: I received an anon request for this:  if your requests are still open, could you do Jensen X reader - preferably holiday inspired where they meet at a mutual friends' christmas party? Maybe she's a friend of Rob's and can sing. IDK if you need more, but It's been an idea in my head and i love your work

Beta’d by: @hannahindie (I am so sorry for hurting you all week, it’s get better, I promise). 

A/N: This is the second fic I wrote for this request. As I started listening to the music, I couldn’t decide which way I wanted to take it. This is the sad one. Inspired by Louden Swain’s “Too Far Away” and Chris Young’s “Think of You”.

As a reminder, this is a work of fiction and should be regarded as such. No harm is intended toward the actor(s) or their families.

Somehow, Y/N had let Rob talk her into helping him host a New Year’s Eve Party at his home in Los Angeles. It was pretty easy on his part and pretty hard on hers to turn him down. She had been friends with Rob for a very long time, having met on the set of Felicity when she were just starting in the business. He had been a friend to her and shown her the ropes when so much of the industry was toxic she just wanted to give up. But Rob convinced her to push forward and with his support, she was thriving on both the stage and small screen.

She arrived just the day after Christmas and was planning on staying for a couple of weeks. While Rob was filming for his latest project, she made sure the house was clean, the catering was ordered and everything was in place. She had even done cooking of her own, making sure Rob returned each night to a home cooked meal.

She woke with a start at eight in the morning on December 31st. There was still so much to do and so little time to do it! She rushed out of bed to the bathroom, quickly taking care of business and brushing her teeth. Next she hurried to the kitchen and started the coffee brewing while she checked her list. The florist was delivering the centerpieces around eleven. The balloons would arrive shortly after three. The caterers were scheduled to arrive at two and have everything prepped and ready by six. All she would have to do was show them to the kitchen and let them do the rest. They even arranged for servers so she and Rob would barely need to lift a finger.

“Morning,” Rob mumbled, shuffling to the coffee pot. While Y/N was a morning person, Rob, not so much. He needed at least two to even think about moving. She greeted him warmly, then started rattling off things still left to do on the checklist.

“Whoa whoa, whoa! Coffee first,” Rob held up a finger, stopping her list checking. He reached into his robe, pulling out a small card and tossing it to her at the table. “Happy New Year, Y/N. And thank you for all of your help this week. I couldn’t have done it without you.”

“Awww Rob! You shouldn’t have!” She gushed, opening the card. Her jaw practically hit the table with how wide she opened it. “Rob...you really shouldn’t have!” Inside the card was a gift certificate for a spa day at her favorite salon in town. He had scheduled a massage, along with a facial, manicure, pedicure and full hair and makeup.

“Yes, I should have. I should have done more,” Rob smiled at her over his steaming mug.

“Rob, there is still so much to do today…” she reminded him.

“And I am fully capable of following your list to make sure it gets done. Go and relax, Y/N. You’ve earned it,” he told her.

She spent the next hour making an even more thorough checklist for him with times and names. She then programmed those times into calendar entries on his iPhone to remind him.

It was no surprise that she had been stressed out the last few days. Helping Rob plan the party, knowing full well that her ex-boyfriend would be in attendance. Long distance was hard with him in Vancouver nine months out of the year and her splitting time between New York and Los Angeles. Things had ended amicably enough but she didn’t know if she was ready to see him just yet, fresh wounds and all that.

Y/N strolled through the front door of Rob’s home, completely relaxed, despite everything, and ready for the party. She just needed to get dressed. The party was formal and she had brought with her a little black dress that was perfect. She stepped into her room and closed the door to get dressed when she stopped, her breath caught in her chest. Hanging in the closet was the most exquisite evening gown she had ever laid eyes on. It was navy blue and floor length, with a high neckline, and a silver lace bodice. She gently trailed her fingers over the delicate details, almost giddy at the thought of wearing the dress. She took her time changing and just before the stroke of eight, she stepped out of her bedroom.

“You look absolutely stunning, Y/N,” Rob breathed out. “You will certainly be the belle of the ball tonight.”

“Robert, this dress is too extravagant,” she looked down. “But I am so keeping it because I am in love!”

“I couldn’t let you do all this work and not be the center of attention,” he admitted. “Let’s go greet our guests, shall we?”  Rob held out his arm for her and she slipped her hand into the crook of his elbow.

Guests had already started to arrive and were mingling nicely as they entered the main living space. The band was set up in the corner, ready to perform a few songs for the night’s festivities, but hopefully they wouldn’t play all night and take the time to enjoy themselves. She had agreed to sing with the band so quickly, Rob’s head had spun, and she looked forward to being on stage with them later.

Dinner had gone smoothly and now the caterers were putting the finishing touches on the snacks for later, prepared to carry people well into the early hours of the new year. Y/N had done an excellent job of keeping herself busy so she didn’t have time to think about how good Jensen looked in that stupid blue suit. ‘This is what you get for going with a blue and silver theme,’ she thought.

She excused herself from the room, taking a few moments to freshen up before taking the stage. She and Rob would be singing a couple of songs off the acoustic album and she knew from helping him plan the set list, that he had a few friends that would be joining as well. Richard, Jason, Jensen, Briana and Gil were all on the list. It would be a great time and she was looking forward to the rest of it, if she could just get over Jensen.

Coming down the hall, she ran smack into a wall. Well, a wall of man was more like it. She looked up into the evergreen eyes of Jensen Ackles.

“Y/N! I am so sorry, I wasn’t looking where I was going!” Jensen looked down at his shoes.

“Hey, it’s totally fine. I wasn’t exactly paying attention either,” she laughed, trying to put both of them at ease. He looked nervous, she were nervous. It was awkward, standing there in the hall, just the two of them. “I-I uh better get back out there. Rob’s waiting for me. It’s good to you, Jensen.”

“Yeah, yeah. It’s good to see you, too, Y/N. I’ll - uh - see you out there,” Jensen stammered, quickly taking off down the hall, leaving her staring after him.

“How is everybody doing tonight?” Rob greeted his guests. “I hope everyone is having a great time. I would like to welcome to Y/N Y/L/N to join me. None of this would have been possible without her tonight, so please make sure to tell her what a great time you’re having!”

“Aww Rob, thank you for the pimping of compliments!” Y/N grabbed the extra microphone from the stand, taking a seat next to Rob as he started strumming his guitar.

“Oh you deserve every single one!” Rob told her, before turning back to the party goers. “So Y/N and I are going to sing a little something off the new album for you. This is called ‘Too Far Away.’

Sometimes miss you most

When you are sitting here with me

Sometimes separation is the answer

Absence makes the heart

Grow harder

Each and every day

Now I want you back

But you’re so far away

And we’re running out of time,

There’s a lot I wanna say

Y/N was the one that had picked the song. After all, she and Rob had written it together. They say music is like therapy, and it had definitely helped her deal with the breakup with Jensen.

If I could say the things I want

I’d be a famous poet

Rhymes escape me when you are around

I try to turn back what’s been done

And find you where I left you,

Now I want you back

But you’re so far away

And I’m running out of time,

There’s a lot I wanna say

And it’s playing on my mind

But if luck won’t save me

I won’t go all in

I’ll take one on the chin

But you,

You gave me all you had

When you were here

And now,

You are in a better place than me

Unchain

Rising up to be the better you

That I knew

It was true, she thought, thinking back. She talked to Rob plenty and knew that Jensen was handling their breakup better than she was. He always was the stronger person.

Pulling up the wires,

I find the sadness mixes nicely

With a glass of great Aunt Sarah’s gin

Lengthening the shades

I look out to the vibrant distance

Now I want you back

But you’re so far away

And I’m running out of time

There’s a lot I wanna say

And it’s playing on my mind

And I wish that you could stay

Now the sun begins to shine

But I’m heading for the shade,

And I’m holding on the line

But if this is our time

Let us go in kind

Live our lives as if

Our lives depended on it,

Take the night by hand

Be your favorite band

Take me into you

See if it is true

Now I lay you down

Buried in the ground

But I carry on

‘Cause I must be strong

Strong

Hmmm mmmm

A soft murmur fell over the crowd, as Y/N felt tears well in her eyes. The song was so very personal to both Rob and her, and she couldn’t quell the emotion rising within her. She stepped away from Rob and off the stage, heading outside for some fresh air.

Rob and the band continued playing while Y/N calmed herself. The lyrics had gotten it right, they had gotten it right. She had treated their breakup like a death, mourning the loss like she would that of a loved one. She mentally buried him, but her job, her life, required she move on. She had done her best to remain strong, but sometimes it was too damn hard, on nights like this. She was so wrapped up in her own head that she didn’t hear the footsteps behind her until she felt the warmth radiating into her. She turned her head.

“Jensen…” she whispered so softly he barely heard her.

“You know, I’ve heard that song before. In Vancouver and Charlotte, but that, that was moving, Y/N. I-I know I probably shouldn’t be here right now, but I just wanted to say...shit, I’m sorry. I thought this would be easier…” Jensen faltered, looking away.

“It’s not supposed to be easy, Jay. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done. It doesn’t get easier, even though everyone said it would,” her voice broke, the tears coming again. “Why can’t it just get easier?”

“Maybe it means we shouldn’t have let it go,” Jensen turned toward her.

“I was tired of fighting, Jay. Fighting for time, fighting for us,” she cried.

“I should’ve fought harder, and I didn’t. I’m sorry, Y/N,” Jensen looked her over, getting a really good look at her. The lights shone brightly in her eyes and set her hair aglow from behind. “You are devastatingly beautiful tonight. That gown is striking on you.”

“Thank you, Jay. It was a gift from Rob. Fit the theme, ya know? Didn’t know it would match your suit, though,” she remarked. “But, I, uh, I gotta get back.” She gestured over her shoulder.

“Oh, yeah, me too,” he agreed. “I’ll let you go first.”

She returned the party and the band where she and Rob sang another song. She and Rob finished out the song to a room full of applause and cheers. “Thank you so much. I just love this. A room full of friends and family and just having a good ol’ time! Let’s do another, Y/N!”

The opening bars of ‘Think of You’ started and Y/N felt herself start swaying to the music. She and Rob had rehearsed this song over and over during the week and she was stoked to sing. She closed her eyes and the let the lyrics surround her as she waited for Rob to start.

But it wasn’t Rob that she heard. She opened her eyes to see Jensen, his gaze locked on her as he sang.

I walk in on Friday nights

Same old bar, same burned out lights

Same people and all the same faces

So why in the hell does it feel like a different place?

She watched him carefully until she picked up her lines. She put everything she was feeling in that moment into the song.

Meet my friends for a girls' night out

Seems there ain't much to talk about

Same drinks that we're all raising

But all of the toasts just don't feel the same

She and Jensen picked up the chorus, not breaking eye contact. She swallowed hard to keep her tears at bay.

We used to be the life of the party

We used to be the ones that they wished they were

But now it's like they don't know how to act

Maybe they're like me and they want us back

It's like there's always an empty space

Those memories that nobody can erase

Of how bright we burned

Well now it hurts, but it's true

When they think of me, they think of you

She thought back to all the cast parties, the after parties, every convention. She saw how people had looked at them. With love, with pride, with envy. Everyone always told them they wished they could have the kind of love she had with Jensen.

They keep asking how I am

But they're really asking where you've been

I can read between all of the lines

It ain't just us missing all of the times

Was that it? Did she miss the attention she had garnered, being attached to Jensen? Her limelight hadn’t faded in the months since they’d separated. But she no longer burned as bright as she did when she was with him. Was it just her missing all of that? She missed him. She missed him more than she cared to admit to anyone, let alone herself.

We were to be the life of the party

We used to be the ones that they wished they were

But now it's like they don't know how to act

Maybe they're like me and they want us back

It's like there's always an empty space

Those memories that nobody can erase

Of how bright we burned

Well now it hurts, but it's true

When they think of me, they think of you

Ain't it funny how a flame like that

Oh whoa, when they think of you

It can burn when it's in the past

We used to be the life of the party

We used to be the ones that they wished they were

But now it's like they don't know how to act

Maybe they're like me and they want us back

It's like there's always an empty space

Those memories that nobody can erase

Of how bright we burned

Well now it hurts, but it's true

When they think of me, they think of you

Oh, they think of you

When they think of me

Baby, baby, oh

When they think of me, they think of you

By the end of the song, they were both crying. Rob quickly took over and they each went their separate ways. It wasn’t until she was outside that she let it all go. What she didn’t notice was Jensen, on the other side of the pool from her, letting his own feelings our out of him like a fine wine.

She looked up the sky, the slight breeze drying the tears on her cheeks, when she smelled a familiar and comforting smell in the wind.

“I’m sorry, I know you didn’t know and if I overstep-” he began.

“Don’t be sorry, Jensen, unless you didn’t mean a word. I-I know it’s just a song, but to me, it’s more than that,” she looked down at her feet, once more unsure of herself and the man standing before her.

“Hey, look at me, please?” Jensen pleaded, placing two fingers under her chin, tilting her face up to look at him. “I’ve been so stupid, thinking we, I, could just let this go.”

“Jensen…” she breathed out.

“No, I was, Y/N. You’re the best damn thing I’ve ever had, and I let you go because of what? A few miles? Scheduling conflicts? How fucking stupid could I have been? I said it before and I’ll say it again a thousand times. I should have fought harder for you. I miss you. I miss us. I want us back,” Jensen murmured.

“Jay, I don’t know,” she hesitated, but deep in her heart she knew what she wanted.

“I can’t promise it will be easy, but I promise you that I will never stop fighting for you, for us,” he vowed. “Whatever we need to do, I’ll do it because you’re worth it. I was too blind to see it before, but it’s clear as day since the day you left.”

“You were always worth it, Jay, I just wasn’t strong enough to fight for what I wanted,” Y/N whimpered, stepping closer to him, feeling his warmth drift over her. The noise inside grew louder by the second. Y/N blinked, looking around before it dawned on her. “It’s almost midnight.”

“Four!”

“Three!” Jensen reached for her hands, holding both of them tightly in his own.

“Two!” Y/N stepped even closer, leaving but a couple inches between the two of them. She pulled his hands to her, placing them on her hips, as hers moved up to his shoulders.

“One! Happy New Year!”

Letting the thrill of the excitement envelop them, Y/N leaned into Jensen, pushing herself up on her tiptoes, despite the three inch heels, closing the distance, and pressed her lips to his. The kiss was soft and slightly hesitant. She pulled back, letting her eyes slowly flutter open as she looked into his.

“Happy New Year, Jay,” she whispered.

Jensen captured her mouth, the kiss heated, leaving them both breathless, filling them with memories of kisses past. “To many happy new years, Y/N.”

Did you like it? Remember, the nicest thing you can do for a writer is reblog their work and tell them, and others, how much you like it!

The Whole Enchilada: @closetspngirl @emoryhemsworth @iwantthedean @meganwinchester1999 @sis-tafics @wilde-abandon @wegoddessofhell @holyfuckloueh @horsegirly99 @smoothdogsgirl @dolphincliffs @thisismysecrethappyplace @neeadinghugs @roxyspearing @theoriginalvicki @andkatiethings @mrswhozeewhatsis @linki-locks11 @evansrogerskitten @hennessy0274-blog @hobby27 @gh0stgurl @charliebradbury1104 @blacktithe7 @the--blackdahlia @fortisetgloriosusinarduis @roseblue373 @hannahindie @pinknerdpanda @cherrycokegirls1 

Jensen’s Jamboree: @supernatural-jackles @dean-winchesters-bacon @cameronbraswell @docharleythegeekqueen @maddiepants @squirrel-moose-winchester @amanda-teaches @thing-you-do-with-that-thing @adoptdontshoppets @akshi8278 @kathaswings @deansgirl215 @x-waywardaf-x  @elara98azalea @jerkbitchidjitassbutt 

#jensen ackles #jensen x reader #jensen ackles flangst #jensen ackles fluff #jensen ackles x reader #supernatural rpf #supernatural fanfiction #Supernatural fanfic #spn fanfiction #spn fanfic #spn rpf

[janiedean]

god, youre so delusional, its pathetic.

johnny 99 is a song by Our Only Savior Bruce Springsteen, to be found in his masterpiece 1982 record Nebraska, which was wholly composed of acoustic songs concerning themes way darker than his usual and which his record company probably considered a commercial suicide back in the day - and it’s regarded by many people as his actual finest record (and objectively I agree, ngl). the song, other than being in the same stark style as the rest of the record, as in, acoustic guitar and harmonica only, in less than four minutes manages in an admirable example of synthesis, not only to tell an entire story, but to touch heavy themes such as economical crisis, the death penalty, the fact that the american government didn’t give a shit about blue collar workers way back in the seventies and arguably also that it might be a tad too easy to buy guns in the US. sounds interesting? great, then let me welcome to this evening’s episode of tumblr user janiedean explains bruce springsteen! ;)

so, shall we start? brace up because this is a wild ride.

Well they closed down the auto plant in Mahwah late that month Ralph went out lookin' for a job but he couldn't find none He came home too drunk from mixin' Tanqueray and wine He got a gun shot a night clerk now they call 'm Johnny 99 

first of all: bruce again shows that he knows how to hook you in, because in four lines he has pretty much told you the bones of the story. first - and most important thing: a factory in a town in new jersey closes. it was a true fact, and in real life it was because they failed to follow environmental rules, but as back in the day there was indeed an economical crisis in the US for which a lot of factories shut down, we could fictionally assume it was for that reason as well. anyway, what matters is that the factory closes. our protagonist, ralph, who presumably works there, is fired, searches for a new job, isn’t re-hired (which was common to a lot of people who were laid off at that time, please feel free to read dale maharidge’s journey to nowhere and somewhere like america to get educated on that), proceeds to get drunk and when he’s not thinking straight he buys a gun (just like that), shoots a guy and gets a new nickname: johnny 99. why? we don’t know yet. but we know that a guy who was just doing his job and failed to be rehired lost it and shot someone... because he lost his job. hmm. but let’s go on.

Down in the part of town where when you hit a red light you don't stop Johnny's wavin' his gun around and threatenin' to blow his top When an off duty cop snuck up on him from behind Out in front of the Club Tip Top they slapped the cuffs on Johnny 99

so: after having shot the night clerk, our guy is in the part of town where you don’t stop at a red light so we can assume not the best part of it, he’s threatening to hurt himself with the gun, he gets arrested by an off duty cop, that’s it. sorry, not that much of a criminal career. but snuck up on him from behind... maybe like the closing of his factory and the fact that his life was fucked in the span of a few days? that might have been a deliberate lyrical choice, which makes you, if not sympathize with the guy, at least get how he’s feeing right now.

Well the city supplied a public defender but the judge was Mean John Brown He came into the courtroom and stared poor Johnny down Well the evidence is clear gonna let the sentence son fit the crime Prison for 98 and a year and we'll call it even Johnny 99

at this point, of course johnny goes to trial. he gets a public defender (which from what I gather tends to be shitty) and a judge whose nickname is mean, from which we can surmise that the stacks against him are bad regardless. the judge comes into the courtroom and stares poor johnny down, and at this point it’s obvious that we’re meant to sympathize with him, not with the judge, who is *mean* and stares down at the guy before even sitting down at this point. so, the judge says that the evidence is there, and his sentence is 99 years of prison.

which is why he’s re-baptized johnny 99 as we had seen in the beginning. now, 99 years is pretty much life, since this guy must have been at least older than twenty to work in a car factory. rough. 

A fistfight broke out in the courtroom they had to drag Johnny's girl away His mama stood up and shouted "judge don't take my boy this way" Well son you got a statement you'd like to make Before the bailiff comes to forever take you away

this verdict does not indeed please johnny’s family/loved ones, as a *fistfight* breaks out and they have to forcibly remove his girlfriend, while his mother pleads the judge to not take her boy this way, presumably crying, which means that again, we are supposed to see that he has relatives who love him and would cry for him and so maybe he’s not a bad guy deep down. sure, we haven’t heard his side yet, but we know his girlfriend loves him enough to try to beat up the guards and his mother pleads for another solution... which is denied, and the judge actually replies with the last two lines, which sound fairly rude and insensitive especially given that the bailiff is coming to forever take him away. but it’s as if the judge has decided that since the guy isn’t rich or matters much in the great scale of things, it’s an already done thing and fuck that. ouch.

Now judge I got debts no honest man could pay The bank was holdin' my mortgage and they was takin' my house away Now I ain't sayin' that makes me an innocent man But it was more 'n all this that put that gun in my hand 

aand wait, here finally our dude finally speaks for himself. first: he had debts no honest man could pay, which means that losing his job fucked his finances for good and he was deep in the red. the bank was taking his house away, which was another thing that was extremely common back in the day (same as in the twenties haha) (read those maharidge books for more info) and so he was going to become homeless because he couldn’t find another job and had no other safety net to fall back on. he doesn’t try to argue for his innocence because he did kill a man so he’s not really downplaying it, but then he adds that ‘it was more than all of that which put a gun in his hand’, which means that it was losing his job, losing his money, possibly losing his house, being unable to provide for his family and feeling most likely useless and like he couldn’t do anything anymore with his life. and that puts the gun in his hand. he didn’t do it because he enjoyed it, he did it because he saw no other way, and none of that was considered in the *evidence*, which means he got a trial where his circumstances weren’t even taken into account. but that’s not the heaviest blow this song deals. that one’s the ending:

Well your honor I do believe I'd be better off dead And if you can take a man's life for the thoughts that's in his head Then won't you sit back in that chair and think it over judge one more time And let 'em shave off my hair and put me on that execution line

HAAAAA BUT JUST YOU WAIT. so: he thinks he’s be better off dead, which admittedly is fair of him, idk if I’d take 99 years (so: entire life and death) in a US prison over just being done with it already, and after all if he has no job, no house, no money and no prospects, what does he have to lose? and fine enough, but here’s the gist: if the judge can take a man’s life for the thoughts in his head, ie if the judge thinks he can condemn him to 99 years in prison ie rotting in there until he dies for what he thought and not giving a fuck about why he thought that or why he did what he did... then he welcomes the judge to ‘sit back in that chair’ (which is already pretty damn wording because it sarcastically implies the judge is in a higher position and nothing can hurt him in the chair while everything can hurt johnny 99 and everything has done so already) and have the balls to give him the death penalty instead of condemning him to die but pretending to have been merciful and only giving him time in prison that he can’t possibly serve before he dies. so he’s basically raising the judge (representing the system that betrayed him) the middle finger because if the judge/the system have ruined his life then they should at least have the courage to end it instead of condemning him to be a prisoner for the entirety of it.

now: that’s it. there’s nothing else. there’s no lesson, there’s no moral, that’s how it ends, it’s bleak and sad and it doesn’t really give you any silver lining... because there’s no silver lining and it’s unjust to live in a society where losing your job means losing your life *and* you will be automatically judged for the thoughts in your head without a chance to prove that you can be better or meant better or could make up for it.

no, it’s one mistake out of reasons beyond your control that you would actually pay for, and hey, thrown in jail with the keys thrown away. what an enlightened, beautiful, just system, the system that judges a man for the thoughts that are in his head, huh?

and actually, bonus story: this story is tied to bruce’s biggest BDE display ever, as when reagan became president and was running for re-election in 1984, he thought to quote bruce’s (sadly misunderstood) song born in the usa in a speech in nj. at that point bruce said nothing for a bit, but then:

guys, what a man, what an idol, what a class. no, sure af reagan did not listen to nebraska nor johnny 99.

and, given how you, my dear anon, also judge people by the thoughts that are in their heads and proceed to be their jury, judge and executioner, both fictional people and real ones, if you’re who I think you are (and I actually know you are)... I’ve got a feeling that neither have you. and I really think you should, same as everyone because bruce is the best ;)

#bruce springsteen for ts #bruce meta #i need to go and tag back all the other ones #oooooh my hand slipped #SORRY!!!! #va bene va bene va bene in verità #here please listen to nebraska #it's totally a good use of your time!!!! #murder cw #death penalty cw #Anonymous #ask post