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crowdvscritic · 3 years

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round up // AUGUST 21

Happy 2nd birthday to these Round Ups! For two years I’ve been making monthly pop culture picks, and they’ve included:

More than 200 movies

32 TV shows and specials, plus 8 different Saturday Night Live Round Ups

27 albums, singles, playlists, and more music picks

13 podcasts

12 books

2 concerts

There have also been articles, events, museums, social media bits, trailers, and a service that helps you find movies across streaming platforms. (Find all of them here.) This month I’m adding a few more, like:

2 podcasts

2 albums

5 vampire movies

A conversation between two GOATs

A very funny dead guy

A terrifying Robert Mitchum performance

Another Dumb Rom-Com I Nevertheless Enjoyed

Here’s to another year!

August Crowd-Pleasers

1. Jungle Cruise (2021)

Indiana Jones meets Pirates of the Caribbean with a dash of The African Queen. I like all those movies, so sue me, I had a nice time! Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 7/10

2. Deep Blue Sea (1999)

Genetically-enhanced sharks try to break free of their cages in an ocean research facility, chaos ensues for the characters, and it’s a delight for us. For no intelligent reason, I love movies that make me guess who’s going to get killed off next, so a big dumb shark movie starring L.L. Cool J and Samuel L. Jackson? It’s a particular brand of joy. Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 5.5/10

3. Double Feature — Adam Sandler Comedies: 50 First Dates (2004) + Murder Mystery (2019)

Adam Sandler movies are little like IcyHot for the brain—that is, they’re the relaxing kind of mind-numbing. Thanks to a stressful month at work, I watched six Sandler flicks in August—which I don’t necessarily recommend but also don’t regret—and the Netflix original Murder Mystery (Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 7/10) was one of the the best of the bunch. It’s a silly spoof of Agatha Christie’s work, and it’s a scenic two-hour European vacay. I also gave 50 First Dates (Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 7/10) another try and was pleasantly surprised. Once you get past some of the gross-out humor at the beginning, you’ll find a sweet story all about how we need to keep showing up for the people we love.

4. Double Feature — SNL Comedies: Wayne’s World (1992) + Hot Rod (2007)

My love for Saturday Night Live is more than well-documented, so exactly zero mes were surprised that I loved these flicks from its alums. Wayne’s World (Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 7/10) follows up with Wayne and Garth in the basement we first saw on late night. Now they have the opportunity to make it big on TV thanks to a sleazy exec (Rob Lowe). Brian Doyle-Murray and Chris Farley show up, and so do Laverne and Shirley? Hot Rod (Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 6.5/10) follows Rod (Andy Samberg) as he tries to make it big as a stuntman and impress his stepdad (Ian McShane). Will Arnett, Bill Hader, and Chris Parnell show up, and now I can mostly forgive all those boys in high school who quoted this movie non-stop.

5. Weekend at Bernie’s (1989)

If those SNL comedies weren’t enough silliness for you, how about you add some Bernie to your lineup? Andrew McCarthy and Jonathan Silverman are wannabe-yuppies who think they’ve got their career breaks when an exec named Bernie invites them to his vacation home for the weekend. What they don’t know is that Bernie (Terry Kiser) has been laundering money, is connected to the mob, and, is now, um, dead. The right thing would be to call the police, but then we wouldn’t have a 97-minute high-concept comedy, now would we? Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 7/10

6. Twilight series (2008-12)

I mostly skipped the Twilight phenomenon at its peak, but I’m so glad I hopped on the train years later—this series of vampire vs. werewolf showdowns are ridiculous. But major kudos to the filmmakers who somehow turned a dump truck of nonsensical gobbledygook and unhealthy teenage relationships into something insanely watchable. Also, major kudos to Billy Burke and his understated, curmudgeonly, sarcastic performance. Bella’s dad is the MVP with the only appropriate responses to all of the nonsense he's forced to participate in and the only tether this franchise has to reality. Be sure to watch with a friend so you have someone else to process this weirdness with. Series Crowd: 8/10 // Series Critic: 5/10

7. Seven Brides for Seven Brothers at The Muny

You know what’s great? Live theater! This month I made my first trip back to the stage at America’s oldest and largest outdoor amphitheater, the Muny in St. Louis. Their productions never disappoint, and these performers reminded me of Howard Keel, Jane Powell, and Russ Tamblyn in the best ways.

8. Wimbledon (2004)

Paul Bettany and Kirsten fall in love at Wimbledon! Frankly, that premise alone should be enough to sell you on this very winning rom-com. Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 7.5/10

9. Career Opportunities (1991)

This month’s Dumb Rom-Com I Nevertheless Enjoyed! Frank Whaley and Jennifer Connelly fall in love while stuck overnight at a Target—which honestly sounds like a dream scenario—and since it’s a John Hughes script, it’s got some heart beneath its thin premise. John Hughes directing would’ve made it better, but there’s enough Hughes in there to catch my heart. Crowd: 7/10 // Critic: 4.5/10

10. First Blood (1982)

Aka Rambo: Part I. Sylvester Stallone is a tough-as-nails Vietnam vet, and Brian Dennehy is the self-righteous sheriff who ticks him off. It digs a bit into PTSD and how we don’t take care of our veterans, but mostly, it’s just Stallone going ape with a knife and explosives. Oddly, also from the same director as Weekend at Bernie’s! Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 7/10

August Critic Picks

1. TCM’s The Plot Thickens Season 2 (2021)

You know those movies that make you ask, “How on Earth did this get made?” This season of The Plot Thickens, subtitled The Devil’s Candy, is an attempt to answer that question. Pretty much no one thinks 1990’s The Bonfire of the Vanities works as a film—including yours truly—and reporter Julie Salomon documented many of its production troubles leading to the final product. A must-listen for anyone who loves hearing behind-the-scenes stories or just gets a kick out of schadenfreude.

2. Gene and Roger (2021)

Gene and Roger, the summer series on The Big Picture podcast, is an overview and reflection on the work of Gene Siskel and Roger Ebert, starting with the launch of their individual careers in the ‘60s through their partnership that lasted into the ‘90s. Another must-listen for movie lovers, especially those who love digging into the history and criticism.

3. Gold-Diggers Sound by Leon Bridges (2021)

Chill vibes and cool groves to transition you from Summer to Autumn.

4. The Good, the Bad and the Ugly (1966)

Come for the Clint Eastwood, stay for the Ennio Morricone. Actually you can stay for Eastwood, too, because his humor is at his driest, and for Eli Wallach, whose Tuco is an insanely charming cockroach. It’s almost three hours, but this treasure hunt breezes by like a tumbleweed in the wind. Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 9/10

5. AFI’s Master Class - The Art of Collaboration: Steven Spielberg and John Williams (2011)

Two GOATS talking about making some of the GOATs. They share clips and explain their collaborative process (including on projects like Jaws and Schindler’s List), and they take questions from film students at AFI. I’m only wishing it were 10 hours instead of 1!

6. The Night of the Hunter (1955)

Robert Mitchum’s terrifying preacher elevates this classic into more than just a standard crime thriller. Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 8.5/10

7. Respect (2021)

While a few scenes indulge in melodrama, Jennifer Hudson’s killer performance—both in vocals and character work—more than makes up for it. This Aretha Franklin biopic hits the familiar beats, but it makes you feel like you’re in the room listening to Franklin sing , which is really all you want from a movie like this. Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 8/10

8. Solar Power by Lorde (2021)

At first listen, this minimalist pop record sounds worlds away from the angst of Pure Heroine and the melodrama of Melodrama. At second listen, you realize it’s the Lorde you know and love, just with a Laurel Canyon influence. Carole King even gets a shout!

Also in August…

This month Kyla and I checked out Loveline, a call-in radio show popular during the run of Gilmore Girls. Should our favorite Yale students give up dating OR call into the syndicated radio show Loveline? Should Dr. Drew Pinsky and Adam Carolla give strangers advice OR make fun of them? Oh, and Germany OR Florida? Listen to ep. 107 of SO IT’S A SHOW?

The '40s are coming! Reviews of 1940s Best Picture winners are on their way, and I kicked it off with an overview of the Academy that decade focusing on how they responded to World War II and their new prestigious reputation.

Photo credits: The Muny, The Plot Thickens, Gene and Roger, Leon Bridges, AFI, Lorde. All others IMDb.com.

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friendofspidermannedleeds · 3 years

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2020 overview: writing edition

Tagged by the loveliest and kindest of friends, @momentofmemory.

I’m not tagging anyone because I’ve not been around and am sure most have done this by now, but if you’re reading this and you’ve not been tagged and would like to participate please say I tagged you! <3

1. List of works published this year

The Kid Really is Smitten (Peter & Happy, Peter/MJ. 233) Nightmares and New Beginnings (May & Peter. 733) Normal Teenager Stuff (May & Peter. 5+1, 1.8k) Breaking a Promise (May & Peter, May & Tony. 3.3k) Carry Me (Morgan & Happy. 1.2k)

Fictober 2020 Series * Works around 1k+ include: Somebody to Talk To (May & Karen. 1.8k) Fireproof (Happy & Peter. 904) Flight Conversation (MJ & Peter. 967) Incalculable Worth (Ben & Peter. 2.8k) Regrets (May & Peter. 1.2k) A Nice Peaceful Afternoon (Mr. Harrington and the AcaDec kids. 3k)

Knowing (Peter/MJ, May & MJ. 2.5k) Forever Ours (May & Peter, May/Ben. 3.8k) 2. Work you are most proud of (and why)

I think it would have to be Incalculable Worth from my Fictober series. I’m forever disappointed in the Ben Parker erasure of the MCU and had been wanting to give him the respect he deserves. Most of this fic came to me much more quickly than my typical writing inspo (that Fictober deadline magic!), and even though I still have things I might change about the final product, I’ve never been so pleased with a fic’s result and reception. Several lovely people stumbled across this fic on Ao3 and left kind comments about how moved they were, which makes me think that I did what I set out to do!

3. Work you are least proud of (and why)

This would be Nightmares and New Beginnings. I just think it’s weird. I was so new to fic when I wrote it and was feeling experimental one night. I normally write quite slowly and edit a lot, but the idea for this one came to me after midnight and I published the fic before 2am. I hated it when I woke up and nearly deleted it. Two months later, as I was beginning to post Fictober on Ao3, I almost deleted it once again. The words of one extremely kind commenter saved it from destruction, however, so it’s still there!

4. A favorite excerpt of your writing

This is going to be hard for me because I don’t actually enjoy my writing for its composition! I like the concepts and character interactions a lot but I’m not terribly proud of my actual writing ability yet. 😬

My favorite thing I’ve written lately is the ending to Forever Ours, my new fic about May and Ben adopting Peter, but I don’t want to put it here because it might be a very minor spoiler.

So here’s a little section of Trust, my last Fictober ficlet. I liked it because May’s inner turmoil over Peter’s Spider-Man life is one of my absolute favorite things to write about.

What troubles her most is this: whatever is out there, whoever he’s fighting—they won’t know he is fifteen. That he’s a child. That he loves Legos, and Star Wars, and science puns, and Mathletes. But what can she say?

He’s not asking for permission. He’ll do this no matter what she says, and they both know it.

He is asking for her blessing.

5. Share or describe a favourite review you received

This review meant so much to me! This lovely commenter read multiple May and Ben Parker fics and it was so nice to find that I’m not the only one who wants more of the Parker family than what we get in the MCU. It made me feel like my niche writing wasn’t of interest to me and me alone after all. :)

6. A time when writing was really, really hard

Halfway through Fictober, I lost one of the most important people in my life. It was devastating. Writing was nice about 90% of the time, and actually a nice distraction that helped me take a break from the grief. But sometimes it wasn’t, sometimes it felt impossible, and that was when I’d just skip writing or posting and wait until it would serve me again. (So I finished Fictober a little later than I wanted to, but I have 0 regrets about that.)

7. A scene of characters you wrote that surprised you

I only wrote one thing that wasn’t an MCU Spidey fic, and that was Carry Me with Morgan and Happy. I wasn’t expecting to write it at all, and it’s not one of my favorite finished fics, but I really enjoyed the process.

8. How did you grow as a writer this year

I grew by writing fic for the first time! My job for the majority of this year involved a lot of nonfiction copywriting, so I’m an experienced writer, but I had no idea what writing would be like outside my “professional life.” I’m glad I tried it!

9. How do you hope to grow next year

I’m hoping to finish and publish a longer (for me) fic! I’m currently working on Penance, a fic about MCU Spidey’s origins and Uncle Ben’s influence. It should be at least 6-7k by the time I’m finished. I know that is actually short, but I haven’t even cracked 4k yet 😂 Longer fics stress me out because I don’t feel confident enough in my ability to tie together so many words, and I also can’t come up with plots to save my life. So this will be a stretch for me and I am looking forward to it!

10. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta of cheerleader or muse etc. etc.)

This is, without question, @momentofmemory. For so many reasons. (Sorry in advance for how rambly this will get, my friend.)

Mem’s writing (particularly this May fic that is perfection and no I will never stop rec’ing it til the day I die thank you) is to blame/thank for getting me into fic in the first place. I’d been here in the Spidey fandom on Tumblr but I didn’t trust fanfic because I’d seen my most beloved characters shoved to the side/killed off in too many stories. I began 2020 hating all fanfic tbh. But then I read Mem’s captivating masterpieces (like this, the greatest one-shot!) and opened my heart to fic that celebrates the worlds I love!

Mem is the kindest human ever. She read ALL of my Fictober works and left the kindest comments that made my heart soar. Knowing that my favorite author had taken the time to read all of that motivated me to write more than anything else has this year!

Sometimes, when I was trying to write fic but felt burned out or uninspired, I’d go and read Mem’s writing. Her prose is divine, her dialogue is realistic, her characters and their relationships are so well thought-out--her work inspires me! I’d read it and feel excited by the ways that we can use our words to create beautiful things, and though I’m not anywhere near her level, I do think that reading her work has made me a better writer.

Bonus positive influence: @i-lovethatforme! Jess, thank you for being the world’s best cheerleader, for being endlessly kind and supportive, and for being my first ever beta in November. I go back and read your wonderful comments whenever I’m doubting myself. You’re an absolute gem and ilysm ❤

11. Anything from real life show up in your writing this year?

Yep. Regrets is about grief, and I was grieving pretty heavily when I wrote it. Peter’s regrets didn’t necessarily mirror mine, but writing it was still a cathartic experience.

12. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers

Write what you want to write! Since I don’t do IronDad or smut, I wasn’t sure if anyone in the MCU Spidey fandom would be interested in my work. I thought briefly about trying to write based on what I thought people would read, but I decided against it. I enjoy writing platonic friendships and family fic more than anything else, so that’s what I publish most. I write what I want to write, and it’s made me so happy!

13. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year?

I have a few things I’m excited about! I’ve got some Spideychelle ficlets that might be a series. They’ll focus on Peter and MJ after coming back from The Blip, featuring MJ trying to ignore her crush and Peter developing a crush. The other is Penance, the MCU Spidey origins/Ben Parker story.

14. If you could recommend only one work from yourself published this year

I think I’d say Knowing, my fic about Peter/MJ that’s more about MJ & May bonding. I just love these two women with all my heart, and I’m proud of the way this one turned out because I think it honors both of them pretty solidly.

15. End of Year word count

36,625 words! It’s not a lot in comparison to other writers but it’s a huge accomplishment for me!

#love u mem #thanks for the tag #<3 #tag games #tag game #my fic #2020 recap

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rawiswhore · 3 years

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Val Venis x Fem Reader- "Too Hot For TV"

I typed this fanfic on Tuesday and wanted to post it on Edie Sedgwick' s birthday (April 20th) but Youtube eventually switched their Safety Mode "on", no matter how many times I tried turning it off, it was always "on", which frustrated me.

Although, I originally wanted to post this fanfic on Wednesday since I type my fanfics in patterns...

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In the 1960's, there was a rich, party girl socialite named Edie Sedgwick who tried having a modeling career that didn't really take off and she technically wasn't really an actress, she was also a muse for Andy Warhol.

She basically was the Paris Hilton of the 60's, and Paris Hilton was the Kim Kardashian of the 2000's.

When you were at the height of your wrestling popularity in the late 90's, Bob Dylan (yes THAT Bob Dylan; 60's folk legend) had called you the Edie Sedgwick of professional wrestling: a sexually promiscuous, pixie-like girl that had little to no talent and wasn't even exactly famous for wrestling.

If Andy Warhol had still been alive in the 90's, he probably would've called you the Edie Sedgwick of wrestling.

You read a few books about Edie, which had pictures of her when she was in a few of Andy Warhol's films, one picture that stuck out to you was a little film she had done called "Beauty #2", which is basically a film where Edie in a bra and panties is sitting and lying in bed with some guy and the 2 of them are talking with one another while she smokes a cigarette in one hand and drinks alcohol in a glass in the other.

That's not all they do; the man in bed with her gets on top of her and makes out with her.

"Beauty No. 2" looks (and even seems) slightly like a sex tape.

Not only does it look like a sex tape, but it almost looks a bit like those GTV moments from the WWF's Attitude era, where a camera in the corner would film a segment in black and white of wrestlers being caught doing things: Al Snow picking his nose, Eddie Guerrero cheating on Chyna with 2 of the Godfather's hoes, The Big Show and Val Venis peeing in urinals in the bathroom.

Seeing a photo from "Beauty No. 2" made you think of those GTV segments, and luckily, you were a part of the WWF's Attitude era, you were probably even the most popular woman from that era.

And you were there at the right place at the right time, when the WWF still did those GTV moments.

You had talked with the WWF creative staff of an idea you had for a GTV segment influenced by "Beauty No. 2", and the creative staff ate it up like hot cakes.

Since "Beauty No. 2" was set in a bedroom, resembled a sex tape, and has a moment where Edie's male co-star gets on top of her and starts making out with her, your male co-star in this GTV segment was none other than your wrestling male equivalent: Val Venis, whose character he'll always be remembered for is a porn star.

On a "Smackdown" episode circa 1999/2000, after the letters "GTV" were shakily shown on the screen, the camera cut to you and Val sitting on top of a bed in a hotel room, the room filmed in black and white.

You were sitting cross legged in bed while dressed in a bra and thong, whereas Val just wore a pair of boxers, he was lying horizontally across the bed next to you.

His hair was hanging down, not tied back in a ponytail, because this is how you like the way he looks.

This was also before he had cut his hair and joined that Right to Censor group, thank goodness, because Val looks good when his hair hangs down.

When you and Val were sitting on that bed, this got a massive pop from the audience, men getting out of their seats and cheering for you whereas women were getting out of their seats and cheering for Val.

You and Val were chatting with one another when you sat on the bed, he offered and shared with you a glass of scotch in his hand, where you took a few sips.

Don't worry, he didn't put a drug into that drink and make you unconscious a la Bill Cosby, even if this was the Attitude era, an era infamous for its shock value and mistreatment of women.

The camera then showed nothing but static, after that, the camera cut to you no longer having a glass of scotch in your hand, but you pulled out a lipstick, where you twisted the tube around with your fingers until the lipstick appeared at the top, then applied some on your lips, rubbing the lipstick back and forth across your bottom lip.

You didn't pull out any dark colored lipstick like red or boldly colored like hot pink since you're afraid Val will get lipstick on his lips later on, though the whole point of GTV is to embarrass wrestlers and people.

Val now had that glass of scotch in his hand this time.

He didn't just have a glass of scotch, but he was also puffing on a cigar, this was referencing that Edie Sedgwick and that man in bed with her in that "Beauty No. 2" were smoking on cigarettes.

You didn't smoke cigarettes since you quit and you're trying to keep yourself safe.

However, he offered you a puff of that cigar, where you wrapped your lips around that cigar and sucked it, where he pulled the cigar out of your mouth and you released some smoke out of your puckered mouth.

He grinned from ear to ear seeing you take a drag of that cigar, making him think of something.

Eventually, the camera cut to you pulling out a compact mirror, flipping open the mirror and patting your face with the little powder puff as you looked in the tiny mirror of that compact.

It wasn't a really big, fluffy powder puff; just a small one small enough to fit into a compact mirror, although you readers should know that.

As you were applying some foundation to your face, Val was now sitting up and nudging his arm on your arm, grinning and looking at you like he wanted to fuck you.

5 minutes into GTV and chill and he gives you this look.

Pretty soon, the camera cut to you and Val vertically lying next to each other on top of the silky bed's comforter, the camera showing you from your left side.

Val was lying on top of you, pressing his torso on your torso, while he kissed and made out with you.

His lips were in between your lips, your lipstick staining onto his facial hair, and your lips as well as his suctioned and puckered as they attached to one another, your lips and his sucking each other.

One of your arms was wrapped on one of his sides, pulling him into you and your hand was caressing up and down his back.

Your other hand was behind his head, running your fingers through his hair, the tips of your fingers playing with the curly ends of his hair.

While you and Val were making out with each other, the two of you were moaning and mumbling while you kissed each other, moaning "mmmmmm", "mmmmmmmm", "mmmmmmmm" as the two of you made out.

You sat that makeup compact, lipstick and alcohol glasses on top of the nightstand next to the bed.

When you and Val were making out with each other, the audience was cheering and roaring even louder than before, some of those men were even making those silly "wolf whistles" at you, Jerry Lawler's eyes were growing wide off camera and he shrieked his lungs out.

You and Val were rocking each other whilst you kissed and made out with each other.

Val could taste the lipstick on your lips, he's tasted it many times before actually (as well as with other women), but at least you wore a lipstick that wouldn't end up transitioning to his lips.

Though, Val could always wipe the lipstick off with a tissue.

You can feel the bristles of his facial hair on your skin, chafing and slightly irritating your skin, which hopefully won't make your skin turn pinkish red below your chin, though they might fade away pretty soon.

As Val kissed you, one of his hands was caressing and stroking up and down your thigh as well as your hip.

Your leg was nudging and brushing up his leg, specifically up his thigh.

You and Val made out with each other exactly like how Edie Sedgwick and Gino Piserchio made out with each other in "Beauty No. 2", one of Val's hands stroking up your thigh.

You slightly rolled your body over over until your back was showing to the camera, Val was now lying next to you, and as your back was in front of the camera, his hand was stroking and caressing up and down your back..

After the camera showed some static, it cut to Val's face buried in your ribcage, kissing you there as well as on your arm.

Strange, but whatever.

Sometimes, he even buried his face into your neck and kissed you there, where you arched your head back as you moaned, your eyelids shutting your eyes in an orgasmic state.

Eventually, the camera cut to you and Val sitting on a bed this time, where you had pulled out a bottle of lotion you got from the hotel room's bathroom.

You flipped open the cap of that bottle with your thumb and squeezed a line of lotion on him, where you started smearing that lotion all over his bare torso and his arms.

You handed him that lotion where he held the palm of his hand out and squeezed some lotion in that palm, where he smeared and rubbed that lotion on your arms and back, as well as your legs.

The lotion on your bodies evaporated and sunk into your skin as well as his, disappearing as you rubbed it back and forth with your hand.

When you and Val rubbed this lotion on each other, this got yet another pop from the audience, men and women both cheering, a few men in the audience made those silly "wolf whistles" at you.

You should've rubbed lotion on yourselves before you and he started having some foreplay, that would make more sense.

The audience as well as Jerry Lawler are probably disappointed you and Val really didn't get to start fucking each other.

This was something Edie Sedgwick did in that "Beauty #2" film she did, that's why you pulled that lotion out.

I bet you 5 bucks 90% of the wrestling audience who were watching this Edie Sedgwick-inspired GTV segment don't even know who she is.

Even during the WWF's Attitude era and the late 90's Monday night wars between the WWF and WCW, which so many people laud and praise and put on a pedestal as the greatest wrestling era ever, critics lambasted and trashed it heavily, saying that professional wrestling, especially the WWF, is lowbrow and caters to the lowest common denominators of society.

You referencing Edie Sedgwick gave it a bit of culture, though Edie wasn't that much different from Paris Hilton.

Around the same time as the WWF had GTV and when you were at the height of your popularity, you did a photoshoot in Harper's Bazaar magazine where you posed as Edie Sedgwick, recreating photos of her.

You were the first "wrestler" and wrestling related person to ever be in Harper's Bazaar, and some people were upset that someone that's a part of professional wrestling and is notorious for being quite a bit trashy and vulgar is in Harper's Bazaar, a high brow fashion magazine.

You received even more angry letters when you did photoshoots for Vogue and Vanity Fair magazines for the same reason: a "professional wrestler" (really you were more of a valet) and in something that had was infamous for being trashy and lowbrow (the WWF's Attitude era and even pro wrestling in general) as well as you yourself being infamous for being oversexualized and slutty being in such elegant magazines like Vogue and Vanity Fair.

Plus, there were some salty people mad that you were posing as Edie Sedgwick, though Edie wasn't exactly a saint either.

#val venis #90s #gtv #attitude era #wwf attitude #wwf #fanfiction #edie sedgwick #happy belated birthday

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tydy-the-megnet · 5 years

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Let's Watch Captain Marvel

Alrighty. It's definitely late, but I finally got the DVD. So, I'm watching Captain Marvel.

I've decided to make this post about it, which I will write as I go, because I've seen a lot of discussion about the movie without actually hearing about what happens in it... so uh... yeah. Here are my thoughts as I think them:

Brie Larson looks good with long hair. Also, is Carol bleeding blue...? I want to know what that's about and if it's important

Movie is said to take place in the 90s. Space still already has flying cars. I guess Star Wars wasn't not accurate

Listen Sensei dude, if there is one thing I've learned from anime, emotions only make you stronger.

"You gave me these" *shakes fists* is that literal? Like did Mr Sensei really give her fists or is that referring to her powers...? I know nothing of Captain Marvel

He's talking about controlling impulses again. He clearly hasn't seen any anime

The Skrull are the shapeshifters yeah?

... amnesia...?

Now the supreme intelligence (god ai???) Is also talking about controlling her emotions. I still don't buy it.

Mission time. Digging the banter

"I laugh on the inside. I'm not doing that now."

Hm, not sure how I feel about the helmet thing

Hard light scuba gear? That's cool

I'm digging the kinda star wars vibe

Captain listen to your CO but also dont listen to him at all

Yeah the skrull are the shapeshifters everything makes sense now

Wait is her name Veers? Or is that what she's called just because she doesn't remember who she is?

AIR FORCE YEAH

GO KARTS YEAH

GO KART NO

More of this "too emotional" stuff?

Goose!

Digging the whole mental probe thing.

*Tries percussive maintain on a person*

"I dont know any Dr Larson"

So that had me confused bc I was like "Wasnt her name Danvers?" But Larson is the actress and I guess that's just a character????

Do I have the two backwards?

Skrull: *snarls*

Captain: *snarls back*

I like her

She fights like an anime character while everyone else is an 80s sci-fi movie

Get the boots!!!

And touchdown! Planet C-53! Locally known as Earth!

I guess Captain Marvel could be called a blockbuster hit in-universe and out huh?

I'm hilarious

Honey in basically in the space-boonies now you got no service here lol

This poor confused security guard lol

She called across the galaxy on a pay phone...? Yeah okay cool cool

"[C-53]'s a real shithole" yeah give it 30 years or so it gets worse

Okay why do people not like Captain Marvel?

She's like a mix of Tony, Thor, and Steve

Is that... Coulson? Young Coulson!?

YOUNG FURY!

I don't think that was young Coulson after all...

Or is it?

Idek

TRAIN FIGHT

Why are these bystanders trying to stop Veers(?) from fighting this obviously not normal old lady?

What kinda old lady can flip like that?

TRAIN FIGHT 2, ELECTRIC BOOGALOO

oh it was Young Coulson!

Poor Coulson

Damn, Nick

*uses AltaVista*

So it's later 90s. Got it.

Lmao dial-up

I guess they're in california?

Lmao dial-up

Ah so this is the motorcycle scene I've heard about. Apparently they cut the part where she nearly breaks the guy's fingers? Disappointing.

The skrull aren't carbon-based life forms that's so cool!

Not on the periodic table...? Let's see, in the 90s... I guess stuff like rutherfordium and onward wouldn't be on there. Uh, maybe technetium? There might be a couple others but for the most part chemistry was advanced enough.

Unless it's something beyond like 118. Which is weird to think about but whatever I should stop thinking about it

Except elements like that would have to be in group 14 yeah?

Biology isnt exactly my forte but

Okay perhaps it's what we now know as flerovium?

The elements in the carbon group should react similarly enough to be the foundation of an entire life form

That's why silicon is used for synthetic stuff a lot right?

And tin

I'm getting off track the movie has been paused for a few minutes now

I'm just going to assume they are flerovium-based life forms

Oh shit they're in SHIELD

So Pegasus is a flight team, or an AF division, or....?

"I don't know if this guy is really human. I'd better ask a bunch of questions to which I don't know the answer."

A skrull could be saying random words and it would totally work

"If toast is cut diagonally I can't easy it."

Why the heck not??????

"That was a photon blast" is that what that is? Awesome

I want Peter to meet her. I think he'd have a new contender for favorite

"A skrull can't do that. " how is he supposed to know that?

Young and slightly less suspicious Fury??

"Noble warrior heroes"

J O S E P H

NASA and USAF. Sweet.

"State-of-the-art two-way pager"

Ah the old tape-and-fingerprint trick. Haven't seen that since the 90s--oh

GOOSE

Fury meeting Goose is the purest scene in marvel

"you sat there and watched me play with tape?" Lmao

"Shes kookoo" "Kree glyphs" ":O"

Veers was the pilot

I still don't know her sensei's name

"Excellent work, Nicholas" ":O"

LARSON WAS MAR-VELL!??!!!?!

(I know who Mar-Vell is!)

Okay okay okay

More of this "dont emotion" garbage. Listen Veers, DON'T listen

FURY FIGHT SCENE

COULSON NO

COULSON YES

"You know how to fly this thing?" "Uh" "it's a yes or no question"

GOOSE

They're going to LA

(Louisiana not Los Angeles)

Cool

Why do people not like this this is great!

She's got the worst part of Thor, but the best part of Tony and Steve!

RONIN!?!??!??!?!!?!??!?!?!??!??!:0!?!?!

AUNTIE CAROL?!?!?

(So it IS Carol Danvers. Which means Larson isn't her mother. Which makes since because she's actually Mar-Vell. Who's... well, not the mother.)

The Good Lady Ms. Captain Carol Marvel "I-Can-Boil-Tea-With-My-Bare-Hands-Which-Shoot-Lasers-Too" Danvers Ma'am

"You're jacket. Mom doesn't let me wear it anymore after I spilled ketchup on it."

I dont know this kid's name but I really really like her.

"Call me young lady again and I'll put my foot in a place it's not supposed to be."

... that one is more clever with context but whatever

"Am I supposed to guess where that is?" "Your ass"

Monika. That's the kid's name. She's great.

Ah, more ancient relics they call "tech" lol

FLY TIME

Do a barrel roll

She did a barrel roll!

"Your blood is uhhh blue" "yeah but how's my hair"

Ah, "Vers" bc they assumed that was her name. Interesting.

Also I want to get super power by blowing something up that's way cooler than being bitten by a stupid spider

Is she human? Is she not? I've no clue

The skrull are the good guys. Things are starting to make sense again.

... maybe I should've pushed to watch this before far from home.

... huh.

... is she human?

Okay so I'm still a little confused but I think I got it.

Though I won't say I dont want something else to blow up

"Those aren't coordinates they're orbital vectors." "It's basic physics." "Couldnt you figure that out? You're my science guy."

"I just think you should consider what kind of example you're setting for your daughter." That's it. That's the best line in the whole movie. Time to go.

Her suit can change colors on a whim!?!

That's awesome

I DIG THE NEW LOOK

I mean I saw it in Endgame but

"How do I look?" "Fresh" lmao 90s

RONIN NO

GOOSE YES

"What's a cat?" xD

"Why would I turn into a filing cabinet?"

Space lab. Cool.

Is that the tesseract??

THAT'S THE TESSERACT

She can pick it up!!

Does that mean she could've wielded the Infinity Gauntlet??????

Pinball lmao

968700!?!???!??!!?!!??!?!???!??!?!??!?!?!?

HOLY FLERKEN SHIP

GOOSE

YES CAROL

GET EMOTIONED

KICK HIS BUTT

GOOSE NOOOO

Those bastards

"Only human" HEY I RESENT THAT

THE FACT THAT YOUR HUMAN FILLS YOU WITH DETERMINATION

GOOD LADY MISS CAPTAIN CAROL MARVEL DANVERS MISS AWESOME MA'AM SENPAI SAMA

SHE'S A SUPER SAIYAN

PURE OF HEART AND AWAKENED BY FURY

(I'm still hilarious)

GOOSE DID THE THING

This is awesome why dont more people love it???

"Good kitty"

This very quickly went from Star Wars to Dragon Ball and I am loving it

She really is an anime character

Did she? Is that? Nerf gun?

Okay Carol isnt that much god mode there was just a nerd gun on the floor okay cool yeah sure

"Just like Havana" TALOS YOU BEAUTIFUL--

Remember how captain america jumped to the outside of a plane and fought through it? Yeah CM just did that in SPACE take that Steve

Still dont know how I feel about the helmet thing though

JUST LIKE BEGGAR'S CANYON BACK HOME

RONIN

Yeah, those are explosions

Ronin: O_O

Ronin: .... yeah bye

"I have nothing to prove to you."

HECK YEAH. GO CAROL. LASER HIS BUTT.

Fury lost his eye! GOOSE HE TRUSTED YOU

*thinks back to that moment in Winter Soldier*

"You were Solar and the SHIELD agent?" Omg Carol yes keep up

Fury SINGS?!?!

So like, are her powers just straight up energy manipulation? Because that's pretty cool. Really versatile, too

The way she started the engine makes it seem so

And then she just,,,,,, flies away. Into the night. Like stardust in the wind.

Dig the jacket, though

"The Protector Initiative"

It begins......

"Is it true? The Kree burned your eye out because you refused to give them the tesseract?" "I will neither confirm nor deny the facts of that story"

Lmao Fury

"CAPT CAROL "AVENGER" DANVERS"

"The Avenger Initiative"

It didnt actually show it but we know

Also, dig the music

Aaand now we see, 20ish years later, the snappening

"I wanna know who's on the other end of that thing"

First of all I love that they dont call it a pager because it's 2018 wtf is a pager amirite?

Second, I love how Carol is just there. Great reveal. 1007391861604016/10

"Where's Fury?" D:

Better question, where is Goose???

*one roll of credits later*

Oh! :D

Lmao the tesseract

God this movie is amazing

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diaryformytravels · 4 years

Text

#27 Orlando (Day 1)

For the first time in Blog history, it’s both J-Dawg, and the M-inator writing the same blog!!! We thought if only one person wrote it, it would drive them mental and it the end product, would be very similar to Auschwitz!!!

The alarm was set for 5:50, thus we woke at the crack at of dawn. We got ready and ate breakfast and were ready to go at 6:15am as agreed the previous night. Of course at this time, nobody else was ready. Fun fact, they tease Morgs for eating chocolate all the time, yet they gave Max a large chocolate muffin for breakfast. So off we set at 6:25am to be there at 6:30am to beat some of the crowds. Last night we told them that when we looked it up, it said we needed to be there no later than 90 minutes before the park opens at 7am. Of course there was no way we were gonna be able to get MMM to Hollywood Studios at 5:30am, so we told them that that is what the site said, but let’s try aim for 6:30 instead. They agreed and said it wouldn’t be that busy. Come 6:38am when we get dropped off, its is absolutely packed. Cue shocked faces from the hitler crew.

We rushed into the park, getting our bags checked and Disney cards loaded with our ID’s to get into the park. We then hastily made our way to the entrance of the new Galaxy’s Edge Star Wars World, along with the other 7000 people. We figured out you could join a virtual queue that places you in a group for one of the busier rides, Rise of the Resistance. The queue opened at 7am, so everyone was ready to pounce on their phones at 6:59. J was in charge of doing this and he secured us with group 18, it then said it would notify us when to go board the rides queue. (There were over 130 groups, so this was a score, yay me!).

First ride we did was called The Hollywood Tower, and was eerily similar to Gold Coasts ‘Tower of Terror’, we were unsure what the ride had in store, but before joining the queue, the spooky look of the tower had Max almost in tears, after a tantrum. Also someone kept farting horribly in the line, disgusting. The ride was quite fun and bit creepy, with lots of jumps and falls, but with only a single seatbelt keeping us in our chair, we questioned the safety behind this ride. 6/10.

Ride number 2 was our first Star Wars ride. It was called ‘Star Tours’ and was a 4D ride. It was pretty cool and was based on the most recent Star Wars movie. We were lead on a wild goose choose, by C3-PO and he was actually there with us in person 😉. 6/10.

We got our notification for Rise of the Resistance, and head straight on over for our third ride of the day. We asked how long the queue was, but they refused to give an answer every time, Michelle did not like this at all and whined a lot. The Star Wars world itself was really care and you could tell Disney went all out, and we were thinking the queue would be really cool with lots of Star Wars references in it. For the first 20 minutes it was quite disappointing, with some more feral farts, but then suddenly we were captured by the First Order and it was really funny, because the employees were pretending to be mean and yelling at everyone and insulting everyone, eg. Someone was leaning on the wall in the line and one of the First Order Captains came over and stared at him 10cm away from his face and said “Do you own this wall?” the guy replied laughing, “No...”, the captain replied quickly, “Then why are you touching it?”. It was very funny and everyone couldn't stop laughing. Then the ride actually begun and it was so much fun, it was kind of like transformers, but without the the 3D glasses, the effects were phenomenal and there were no obvious tracks of where we were going. The ride was us escaping a Star Destroyer and away from Kylo Ren. 9/10.

Next was the ‘Rock’n’Roll’ coaster, but before, Morgs and I decided to get a cookie because we were a bit peckish (it’s now 10:30am). As we got to the front of the line and ordered our two cookies, Max suddenly appears, “I want a cookie too”. Too late bucko! Ride was fun, same as the Paris one. 7.5/10.

By this stage Michelle was getting cranky because she hadn't had her coffee yet, so she went and lined up at Starbucks, and sent us two with Max to get a hotdog. The funny thing is, the hot dog stand was where we bought the cookies, right next to the rollercoaster, that we just left. Fuckwit. I took Max and Morgs had a look in Pandora, and bought herself a new ring.

Next was a show!! Beauty and the Beast live! This was fantastically hilarious because of how shocking it was. The only 3 people who had mics could not sing, it was so bizarre. And again! The farts were here again! Is there a pattern forming? Morgs says 0/10. Jasper says 10/10.

Then we went to another show. The Indiana Jones Stunt Spectacular. This was a bit of a yawn and a boy show, surrounded by noisy, crying children. Before the show even started, we could taste yet another fart! If you haven’t caught on, Max has been letting them rip all day. He is without a doubt, the most disgusting creature to ever plague this earth. The show had volunteers from the audience and one was a plant and he started doing stunts and Morgs was shocked, until she figured it out. 3/10. Would have been 1/10 if not for the plant.

Next was lunch! We had booked an Italian restaurant and headed there right after Indiana Jones. The food was pretty good, but I think the highlight was a text that Michelle got, and showed us, when Max went to the toilet by himself. The message read as follows: “Mum are you there? Can I do a number 2, the bathroom is very clean. Respond fast”

Now in the rain we made our way to some shops and did some browsing, then went to Toy Story Land. Max cracked the shits because we didn't wait 35 minutes to go on the kids roller coaster.

Next on the cards was the other new Star Wars ride, The Millennium Falcon: Smugglers Run. Again we had no idea what we were going into, but it was a 55 minute wait, so it must have been good. Max of course hated this idea and threw yet another tantrum, but luckily no more farts. The ride ended up being an interactive almost video game like ride, but still like a 4D ride. It was something else. So much fun, Max and Michelle were piloting, Morgs and I were shooting, and two randoms were the engineers. 9/10.

By this stage we were all shutting down (4pm now), did some more shopping and then Mikko came and collected us and took us home for a rest before dinner at Disney Springs.

Dinner was at a Mexican restaurant which had fantastic guacamole that reminded us of Zambreros ❤️. We played uno and then did a recon at the big shops there for when we purchase on Saturday. 15 minutes into looking at shops, Max cracked it because Mum wasn't letting him buy a $300 replica lightsaber. Since Max cracked...so did Mikko and he decided it was time to leave because he was ready to go now. We took our time in that store, and then Michelle informed them we were still going to Kate Spade, cue angry Fins.

Now back at home on our new couch bed living the high life. Should be better nights sleep on this than the single-double bed.

God bless, and Godspeed.

M&J

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moczothe1st · 6 years

Text

Let’s Play Fire Emblem IV: Genealogy of the Holy War, Part 10: Yarrrrrrrr!

Part 9

Welcome back to FEIV! I was originally not planning to update this week, since my appendix ruptured last weekend and that’s actually pretty incredibly awful to experience. I figured I earned a week off. However, I did not consider one thing: when you’re basically required to keep yourself in bed for 90% of the day, you have a lot of time to kill. After the first four or so days of pain and eating very little, I started playing Genealogy because frankly why not. I did have to wait until I got off the IV, mind you, because industrial painkillers and strategy do not mix. Not unless you want to get all your units beaten to death by pirates.

Speaking of.

I feel like I should just point out that last week they were worried about me coming up north to attack them, and yet they willingly start a fight here, even opening up a bridge for me to reach them.

Given that our army has, at this point, defeated two entire countries, I think we can handle a bunch of pissed-off sailors, thanks. Though the first members of the group actually take their shots by going northwest after Bridget.

This exact same battle happens three more times. Bridget is awesome.

The rest of the pirates do go South, but Dew is holding the bridge and they literally can’t hit him. They’re axe men and his dodging is amazing. So they don’t even try, just walk to him and stop.

Sometimes smart AI is really annoying. When our phase starts up, some familiar faces come with it.

Taillte: Just look around! There’ll be pirates all over us if we don’t get moving!

Claude: Be at peace, Taillte. This was quite the fruitful journey! Lord Bragi has answered my prayers and revealed to me the truth. It is precisely as I had thought. Not to mention, I even found House Edda’s long-lost sacred heirloom within the tower: the staff of Valkyria.

Taillte: What, that grubby little cane?

Claude: … Taillte, please. Try to mind your manners. This is a legendary magical staff with the power to restore life to the deceased. It is usable by only the direct descendants of Saint Bragi. That is to say, me alone.

Taillte: Huh. So what you’re saying is, with this rod you could bring my sweet old grandma back to life?

Claude: Alas, most likely not. Valkyria is limited in many particular ways, and so cannot be used on just any lost soul. You see, all mankind is born bearing a life force called quintessence, which-

Taillte: Yaaaaawn… er, what’s that? You lost me. Why are you still talking about this anyway? We’ve gotta get outta here!

Well. This will be interesting, at least. Now, before we show off our new characters, there is a conversation to be held. Ethlyn, you haven’t made me angry in awhile: take it away!

Ethlyn: Here. Take this.

Quan: A spear? …. What?! I-isn’t this Gae Bolg?! Why do you-

(Yes, Ethlyn. Why do you.)

Ethlyn: Your lord father entrusted it to me, Quan. He thought it prudent for you to have it at hand in case our battles grew too fierce.

Quan: Even just holding it, I’ve never felt so strong! Why did you wait until now, though?

(YES, ETHLYN. WHY DID YOU?)

Ethlyn: With the spear, your lord father also passed onto me its tale… I’m so sorry…

Quan: … Ah. Gae Bolg bears the baggage of a truly sad legend. But that is all it is: a legend.

Ethlyn: But-

Quan: Ethlyn, trust me. Triumph is within our grasp this day. I’ll not fall victim to an old myth. I’ll not let it stop me from returning home. Our dear little Altena still awaits us, and I’ll not allow some fairy tale to disappoint her.

Ethlyn: Yes… Quan, no matter what happens… we’ll never lose each other. Right?

Quan: Ah, you’re concerned about Deirdre, aren’t you? There’s nothing to worry about. It won’t be long until we find her.

Ethlyn: Yes…. I want to believe she’ll be okay, too. I wish I could. But…

Quan: Ethlyn? Come now, dry your tears. Do you truly feel so bad about this?

(… Okay, I’m still angry at Ethlyn over her withholding the Omni-Spear from me the whole game, but she kind of has a point here. Her sister-in-law has vanished. It would be kind of weird if she wasn’t worried, Quan.)

Ethlyn: Yes… knowing th-that Sigurd and Deirdre may never meet again… they love each other so much… why, Quan? Why did this happen to them?!

Quan: Ethlyn…

Deep breath

Okay, let’s look at our new stuff. Simplest first.

Quan now has the Gae Bolg, his Holy Weapon, like Eldigan’s Mystletain and Claude’s above-mentioned Valkyria. It gives him +10 boosts to Strength, Skill, and Defense while holding it; he was already a nigh-unbreakable juggernaut, so take that ‘nigh’ off and you get the idea. It also does ten more points of damage per shot than the Silver Lance even without the strength boost, while weighing only slightly more.

So. You know.

THANKS FOR KEEPING THAT IN YOUR POCKET THIS WHOLE TIME, ETHLYN. YOU BITCH.

Now, the new characters.

Claude of Edda is basically Aideen: Part 2. Same class, similar growths; his Major Bragi Blood (+20% HP growth, +20% Magic Growth, +20% Luck growth, +40% Resistance growth) push his in a better direction for their class, but she’s leveled up so great she’s basically his equal anyway, and he has fewer levels left than her to take advantage of them. He’s also promoted, so he can use offensive magic in addition to staves… but he didn’t bring any, so that’s not much of a comfort.

And his gear at the moment is just plain not great for the situation, i.e. alone with a teenager fighting pirates. The Fortify Staff is the best healing staff in the game, giving a huge amount of health back to not a specific target, but to everyvunit within 10 spaces of Claude. Amazing… but it only has ten charges. The Valkyria staff, meanwhile, is basically a one-use get out of jail free card if someone dies: Claude can use it in the main castle to revive them, at which point it will break and require a stupid amount of money to repair for one more use. So it’s nice to have as a fallback, but if you rely on it you’re going to end up bankrupting yourself in short order.

Taillte is… a unique character. On paper, she’s quite good; her growths are solid, bolstered by Minor Tordo holy blood (+20% HP, +30% skill). She can only use Thunder magic, but that’s okay, because it’s the second-best kind of magic and she can use it up to A-rank, and even comes with the A-rank Thoron tome, meaning she joins us with the equivalent of a Silver weapon in her chosen weaponry class. And she also has a very nice personal skill, Wrath, which turns all her attacks into guaranteed criticals if her health is below half, basically taking her already ‘glass cannon’ status and allowing her to upgrade to a much bigger cannon if she’s willing to take some extra glass on board. And her stats are quite good for her level!

Which is to say, for level 3. When the rest of the army is in their late teens at the lowest.

So, we clearly need to get someone over there to help those two, because Taillte is most definitely not going to be able to hold off all the pirates in her area alone, and Claude can only heal her ten times. But whooooo is nearby to go saaaaaave them?

sniff

Oh, Bridget you’re so fine, you’re so fine you blow my mind, Hey Bridget. She’s also a little underleveled, being only 12, but she’s a pre-promote like Sigurd so if anything her stats are a little higher than most of the army; in particular, she actually has the third highest Strength stat of anyone in the army, after Quan and Lex. And a low level actually gives her more levels to gain bolstered by her Major Ullur Blood (+40% HP, +60% luck). She’s gonna be surprisingly durable for an archer class, with luck making her dodgy and plenty of hit points, on top of Strength, Speed, and Skill which are already enough to carry her the whole game. The only skill she has is Pursuit, but if you’ve been paying attention that’s the most important one for an offensive unit to have anyway, soooooo.

Let’s do this shit.

Bridget immediately begins moving west along the peninsula towards Taillte and Claude, who move toward the pirates around them to start working on things. Neither is, unfortunately, close enough to any enemies to make an attack… well, Bridget is, but she can’t run and shoot at the same time, and even the best Archer of all time can’t fight at melee. If she gets surrounded, even she’ll be in trouble. Everyone else, in turn, begins to move towards the units holding the bridge, while they themselves defend with all they’ve got.

Yeah, no, the bridge is going to fall. Horribly. The Orgahil pirates are so pitiful in comparison to Agustria that we might as well ignore them and go knit. The rest of the level is going to be entirely about Taillte and Claude’s survival. End turn!

Continues knitting

And over with Claude, Taillte takes a single hit, but survives. This leaves her in a somewhat dangerous situation because she’s fragile and will die at any slight brush now, but Wrath is now enabled and she one-shots her attacker in reply.

The rest of the pirates in her area are out at sea and will be coming ashore slowly, letting her engage them one at a time on her own terms, so. Picture that sequence of the Death Star getting ready to fire, and you have an idea what I’m about to do with Taillte. Bridget continues to move toward them as well, the edge of her movement range leaving an enemy in her sights.

Get used to screens like this.

For the bridge team, I actually don’t do any fighting this turn, because Dew is a perfect blocker, and he isn’t going to take a shot at anyone. Rather: Aideen is broke and his money is maxed, so he can’t rob any of these guys! I have her move forward to stand next to him reassuringly, and he in turn gives her 49,000 gold. I wish I had more friends like Dew.

Much better. Killing off all these idiots would have cost me so much money if I hadn’t done that. Dew will likely be right back to max money by the end of the map. The pirates, in addition, can move very slowly on water squares and some of them do go around Dew to reach other units.

Their next of kin will be reminded of the dangers of swimming. On our turn, it’s mostly movement. Quan and Ethlyn move toward our home castle, everyone else moves toward these dorks again. The dorks in question, mind you, are doing very well. I actually have Lewyn run back towards a castle because I don’t need him to hold these dorks, and his Elwind is about to break from overkilling. Instead, Jamke moves up to take a shot in his place.

For the pirates, this is kind of like saying ‘I send the killer bear home because his stomach is full, and replace him with the killer lion.’ Dew moves forward, continues robbing shit, and levels.

You know, he needs defense so badly I will take this. I have Ayra move up to back him up and soften the newly poor pirate up with her weaker Bolt Sword…

… and of course she uses Astra and kills it. I would have really liked Dew to get more kills, Ayra, he’s about to promote. Please try to be caring of me. Taillte also reaches her first victim.

“You may fire when ready, Commander.” End turn!

Dew… took a hit. From these idiots. How… why! You little jackass, your ability to make me money and your ability to dodge are your only good points right now! You better proc Sol next turn and get some of that health back, quicksmart, or I will be furious. More furious.

I also almost lose Taillte because I didn’t realize she was in range of the enemy, but unlike SOME PEOPLE she pulls off the dodge and destroys her enemy with extreme prejudice, gaining her first level. Not great, but she at least got Speed and since she certainly can’t take a hit, making her better at avoiding them is helpful.

Our turn takes over and Bridget continues to run towards the Dynamic Duo, her rage steadily building. Dew and Ayra team up to take out the first pirate in line…

And since I’m bored, I have Holyn run into this new empty space in the line and smack the guy behind it.

sigh

Holyn, I’m taking a fucking risk by putting you on the front lines. You could at least try. But on the bright side, this does open another new spot in the line for Jamke to move up and take a shot at the enemy commander.

Okay. Teach. Jamke, you ready to learn?

Yup, Jamke has totally learned fear.

Jamke also gets his personal little trinket, the Leg Ring, improving how far he can move each turn by 3 spaces. Jamke doesn’t get a horse, so he’s not a terrible choice for this, but I’m not totally sure if he’ll be keeping it or not. It’s definitely in high demand by units all over.

Erin, off on her own doing her own thing, stops at another of the villages.

Stranger with Candy: Don’t be shy. Drink up! Well, how about it? Feel the might swellin’ in yer muscles! Oughta make yer work out there so much easier.

Erin gains +3 to her Strength, another boost she sorely needed. You’re also probably realizing why I ignored most of the villages on the map; there are a lot of little gifts to be gotten on this one, and I wanted them to go to specific people. There’s still one left meant for Claude, in fact.

On the enemy phase, Jamke provides an assisted suicide and reminds me that all levels these people gain will be either flawless or the worst.

sigh No other combat happens other than some pirates missing Holyn with hand axes, and our turn begins. First, to the home base… Ethlyn, care to not disappoint me for once?

The first magic she’s gained all game! I also send Quan right into the top tier at the Arena, using his new toy. Let’s see how it goes.

Holy Weapons are the best.

Back up at the real war, I continue to break the pirates a little.

Nothing super impressive, but at least the bridge is now mine, so that battle is over and this team can start moving to flank the jerks chasing Bridget. Bridget herself has also reached Claude and Taillte; the general idea now is that she will be their tank, dodging 90% of all melee attacks and slaughtering the occasional archer while Taillte stands behind her doing her best death ray impersonation. End turn!

… I think the pirates are losing hope, you guys, this one definitely had targets to go after who wouldn’t have killed him as terribly as Holyn. Come on, pirates don’t give up! You can’t go out like Agustria!

Our turn begins, and the team that took Silvail begins to reach the pirate fight, turning it from a one-sided fight to a one-sided fight. Lachesis also gains a healing level.

I… really should have given her that Paragon band. At least Dew won’t need it much longer.

He gained a level from this battle, but I missed the stats. +1HP, +1STR, +1SPD, solid enough I won’t have to scream at his face. Aideen also levels from healing him.

… Kind of bad, but she��s gotten so many great levels on this map I don’t really care. End Turn!

… Nothing happens! A sword guy misses Bridget and an axe guy misses Beowulf.

On our turn, Lachesis gets home, and I send her into the Arena with her new Earth Sword to see if it helps her a little.

cue beating

Nope! But the fun part is that now there’s nothing to stop me from just having Ethlyn heal her and trying again next turn, so I’ll let you know if RNG turns her favor at any point.

Over to the west, my two little nukes begin their blasting away at the crowd pressing against Bridget.

Those two sword guys are the most dangerous; they’re not very strong, but are accurate enough to regularly hit Bridget. Most turns Bridget won’t actually be attacking, but I want those two dead ASAP. End turn!

WHERE THE FUCK DID HE COME FROM?! DEEP BREATH Well that scared the shit out of me. I had no idea there was a ranged enemy close enough to reach Taillte. If she hadn’t dodged I’d be up a reset. But, on the plus side, fine level! On the next turn, they both take their shots…

… For the second time this update I missed the stat screen. Bridget gained a level. It was +1HP. I would be furious if she wasn’t already basically endgame quality without any stat gains at all. Taillte is doing okay, though! And then Claude heals ‘em up.

There we go! And better yet, he instantly gains 85 experience from this; Fortify is a pretty rockin’ staff. I start moving the others toward them again; Erin is now close enough to help out next turn, and the others should arriving to reinforce soon.

Though they don’t need it, really, Taillte is dodging everything and its mom. Our turn begins again, and… slaughter?

Yup, slaughter. The enemy phase is basically just Taillte and Bridget continuing their brutal ascent to dominance.

Welp, there goes the enemy’s archer brigade. At this point the rest of the army is basically only heading their direction because I’d like Bridget and Taillte to get some trophy husbands. On our turn, Sigurd and a few others test the defenses of Orgahil itself.

It is not a test they pass well.

The western team continues their just… rampant slaughter, it’s almost humiliating…

You know, barring the horrible level. What is with you this run, Erin?! You started off so perfectly, too! Well, on the plus side, I also realize I completely forgot Ethlyn had Arena levels to challenge too, and she’s a Paladin now. Let’s see how this rolls out.

Ethlyn: Up to seven wins, gained one level: +1 HP

……………… I hate you so much, Ethlyn.

You fucking guys!

……. I want to leave Agustria.

Okay, I’m frustrated so I’m going to take Orgahill now. The boss is nothing special beyond holding the Strength Ring; I’m gonna try to give it to Sigurd, actually, since his Strength stat is actually somewhat on the low end for how high his level is. Luckily he’s a sword dude fighting an axe moron, so it shouldn’t be hard to arrange.

Yeah, this will be over quickly. End turn, and Duvall once again seeks to destroy us with all his skill and power.

See how much he needs that Strength? Duvall should definitely be dead by now. On our turn, it’s… basically… just kind of a pitiful slaughter again, you know the drill.

And Sigurd finishes off Duvall, ending his 27-minute reign as cap’n and gaining himself a sweet +5 to strength.

Welp, might as well end the turn here. Good times. The few remaining pirates all take swings at Bridget and… all hit? How the… no. No. Not engaging. Her defense is good enough it doesn’t matter, and they…

Will not be taking any more swings. One more turn of the same and the enemy army is gone forever, with Erin leveling.

If I had another Pegasus Knight to use she would be so fucking benched right now.

Anyway, there are no more enemies on the map, so from here it’s a matter of just cleaning stuff up. Like this village of ungrateful bitches!

Bitch: Why are you even here? We’ve absolutely nothin’ to do with Agustria or Grannvale! If you’ve really gotta fight, take it somewhere else, you thoughtless sod.

Take a close look at her village in that image. A section is burned, meaning we literally ran in and saved it from being slaughtered by pirates. Next time, we won’t.

More importantly, Aideen finally meets Bridget. Were yooooooooooou paying attention…?

(D’aaaaaaaaaaaaw. Yup, Aideen mentioned her sister Bridget way back in Verdane, and we finally reunited them. Heart: Melted.)

Aideen: Surely you recall me?

Bridget: What? How do you know my name? Hang on… you look just like me! Aideen, huh… it sounds kinda familiar. But where from…?

Aideen: Bridget, listen well. I am your twin sister! We lost you to pirates years ago, when you were just five years old. I’ve searched for you for years. I never lost hope we would meet again!

(D’aaaaaaaaaaaaaaw!)

Bridget: This is all so sudden… no. Weird feelings aren’t enough. I need proof!

Aideen: Proof, you say? Here. Draw this bow.

Bridget: Huh? Okay, a nice bow and all, but what’s it gotta do with anything? Well, I’ll humor you. So I draw it, and… Whoa! Wh-what’s going on?! The hell is this? This… weird feeling boiling within me… are these memories? Ah, my heart is on fire… Aideen? Yes… you’re Aideen... my sister...

Aideen: Oh, thank the gods! You remember! That bow is your birthright, Bridget. It is Yewfelle, the sacred bow of Jungby. Legends tell that the exalted weapons of this land, such as this one, can only be wielded by a single heir per generation. For House Jungby and Yewfelle, that rightful heir is you, Bridget.

Bridget: Oh, Aideen, come here… Let me get a good look at you. How is our father doing? And our brother… Andre, right?

Aideen: I’ve so much to tell you, too… Bridget. My sister.

Well. That was adorable. And Bridget also gets a hold of Yewfelle, which gives her a +10 to Strength and Speed, along with the natural ability Renewal to heal her a small amount per-turn. Not quite as great as Gae Bolg, but frankly Bridget doesn’t need much help to start with so this turns her from unbreakable to super unbreakable. From here it’s mostly last-second healing and warping around, to get Claude to the one village he still needs to get his holy butt to, and to have everyone else start moving the new dudes toward the arena.

Though Aideen does hit 20! Probably won’t promote her this chapter, though, I have no way to get her home quickly. And next, I trigger the secret event by moving Dew over to the sacred tower… no, once again, no hint to do this…

Dew: Mmm… nope, nothin’ over here. Over there, maybe? Aw man! What a boring little dump.

Strange Voice: Who… are you…

Dew: Huh?!

Strange Voice: … State your business…

Dew: Heh, maybe if I pretend I can’t hear it…

Strange Voice: How dare you… defile this sacred ground… BEGONE!

Dew: Kyaaa! S-sorry! Please don’t hurt me! Hah… hah… what just happened?! Hang on… a sword? What’s it doin’ sitting around a place like this? Eh, who cares? Guess I’m getting’ something outta this after all!

Dew gets the Wind Sword, a magic blade like Ayra’s bolt sword and Ethlyn’s light brand, and it will be put to good use over time. Also he’s an awful person. I kind of wish the event had been the ghost eating his soul and joining our army instead.

Over on the other side of the map, Claude grabs the final village:

Cool Old Dude: We can’t thank you enough, but mayhap this magic staff will help. They call it a Restore staff. If yer allies’ve been put t’sleep or silenced, one cast of this staff’ll get ‘em back on their feet.

See, village of northern bitches? This is how you thank the people who stopped your home from burning down.

Now, the last two things. First arena runs:

Bridget: 7 wins, Gained two levels: +2 HP, +1 Strength, +1 Luck, +1 Defense

Finn: Up to 7 wins, did not gain a level.

Erin: Up to 7 wins, gained one level: +1 Speed, +1 Defense

Dew: Up to 4 wins, did not gain a level. I shouldn’t have used him.

Taillte: 7 wins, Gained three levels: +2 HP, +3 Skill, +2 Luck, +1 Resistance

In addition, a few of the new recruits have conversations with Sigurd.

Claude: I’m glad Taillte was close at hand. We may not have survived, if not for her magic. More importantly, Lord Sigurd, my prayers to Saint Bragi were answered.

Sigurd: You have the trust of all this, then?

Claude: That I do. As I thought, Duke Reptor is behind all of this. On his orders, it was Duke Langbalt who killed Prince Kurth. The two then framed your father, Lord Byron, for the crime.

(Noooooooooooooooooooo, ya don’t saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay.)

Sigurd: As we thought…

Claude: The pair’s treachery runs deeper still. The murder of Isaach’s King Mananan was also the handiwork of Duke Reptor. He feared a peaceful end to the war would end the sole excuse for the conquest of Isaach, so he had the king assassinated.

Sigurd: Is that so… Reptor’s filthy hands are all over this mess…

Claude: Not entirely. In the shade of his avarice, there’s something else at work. Something unsettling and terrifying. Not even Lord Bragi could scry this evil presence, obscured as it was by its great power.

Sigurd: An evil presence? Could it be that dark priesthood? … Wait! What of my father, Claude?

Claude: Lord Byron yet lives, but he is weak. I fear he is not long for this world…

Sigurd: Father… this can’t be happening…

Claude: I’ll hasten back to the capital. His Majesty needs to hear the truth. Lord Sigurd, for the time being, stay here and restrain yourself from rash action.

Sigurd: Understood. I can’t thank you enough, Father Claude. I beg of you, do everything you can to save my father and clear his name.

Sigurd: The villages told me of a woman who leads the pirates of Orgahil, and of her devotion to aiding the poor and weak. That would be you, correct?

(“Also you’re identical to my childhood next-door-neighbor, who has an identical twin named Bridget, so…”)

Bridget: You must be that Grannvale man… Sigurd, right? Guess this is it. Come on. Just get it over with.

Sigurd: Oh, no, you’re mistaken! I’m certainly not here to kill you. I just want to talk. I’d like you to ally with you. We’d love to add your strength to our own, to help us better fight the pirates. What say you?

Bridget: Wait. You really want me, of all people?

Sigurd: Certainly! You’d be a tremendous asset.

Bridget: You’re a strange little man, Sigurd…

Oh, Bridget, You have no idea. Let’s get the Hell out of Agustria!

Sigurd: Oifey, would you please gather our troops here? Now that this is all over, I’d like to ensure that everyone’s alright.

Oifey: At once, sire.

Langbalt: Seize these vile allies of Byron, accomplices to his murder of Kurth and his bid to take over our kingdom! It is the will of His Majesty! No mercy for enemies of the state!

Reptor: To think, he personally put an end to that miserable prince and nearly killed Byron as well… I’ve never seen such a bold ploy! And with Arvis using His Majesty’s trust, it all worked flawlessly! Convincing the king of anything is hardly a challenge, but to succeed with a tale of this scale takes quite the storyteller… and here we are, with the entirety of House Chalphy framed for the crime! Heh heh… our victory is all but assured. The throne of Grannvale shall be mine, one way or another. I’ll leave no pest who dares interfere with me alive…

(……. I’m going to assume Langbalt is loudly shouting to the army and Reptor is just thinking to himself. Otherwise, I got some questions.)

Sigurd: What in the blazes is this?! I’ve been declared a traitor and a Grannvale legion waits at our doorstep to arrest me?!

Oifey: Sire… and to think, the war here was over at long last, and you were about to go search for Deirdre.

(“YES, OIFEY, THANK YOU FOR REMINDING ME”)

Sigurd: Gah… how could His Majesty believe Reptor’s lies? That my father, of all people, would kill Prince Kurth?! If only Father Claude had reached the capitol before they struck… Why?! Why is this happening?! I fought a pointless war! I let Eldigan die! And now this! What have I been fighting for all along?!

(The one and only time it will be a relief to see neutral units.)

Mahyna: Queen Rahna bade my corps and I to come and retrieve you. We invite you and your subordinates to retreat with us to Silesse, until your good name has been cleared in Grannvale.

(Lewyn’s mom! Finally, our habit of collecting lost royalty has paid off!)

Sigurd: … Queen Rahna of Silesse, you say? Why is Silesse willing to give aid to an alleged traitor like me?

Mahyna: Please, sir. Time is of the essence. The Grannvale assault is sure to begin at any moment now. My Pegasus knights will escort you across the sea to safety in Silesse.

And there we go! Grannvale, our ambiguously evil home, has outright turned against us. Reptor and Langbalt are in control, and the king thinks we killed his son. The only option remaining is to flee across the sea and regroup.

… We probably coulda solved the issue by having Lewyn stand near the enemy, but this is more dramatic.

Anyway, see you next week in the shining northern lands of Silesse, where I’m sure nothing will go wrong!

Part 11

#let's play fire emblem #Let's play fire emblem IV #Let's play genealogy of the holy war #fire emblem 4 #Fire Emblem: Genealogy of the Holy War #FEIV #LP #my writing

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britesparc · 3 years

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Weekend Top Ten #461

Top Ten Good Things That Actually Happened in 2020

Well, thank God that’s over, am I right?

It feels kinda weird to be sitting here looking back over the wreckage and general weirdness of 2020, a year that pretty much defines the word “anxiety”. I have a lot to be thankful for: none of us died, for a start; we all seemed to avoid The Plague in its entirety for the whole year. We still have a house, we still have food, we always had enough toilet paper, and above all we had each other. It was hard, it was long, it sucked a great deal at times, but there are substantially worse hands to be dealt all things considered.

Anyway, amongst all the crap, there were some good things, too. And I don’t mean the end-year highs of them finding a vaccine, Biden beating Trump, and us narrowly avoiding No Deal by eating a ton of rotten mud instead of actual shit. No, throughout the year, there were actually some things that happened that were genuinely good; great, even.

And so once again, with no further ado, here are my ten favourite things. Like usual, these are, y’know, things that I watched or played or whatever. I don’t go on about my great kids being great, or the fact that I finally finished writing and formatting enough children’s books to start showing them to agents. But my kids were both elected their respective class’s reps to the school council, which is pretty badass. Here you go. Ten good things. Watch them on catch-up, or whatever.

Mega Mando: without a doubt the best “thing” that I saw was the second season of The Mandalorian. Managing to be both an event-of-the-week show (a heist! An infiltration! A siege!) as well as a long-form narrative; feeling distinct and its own thing but tying into so many aspects of Star Wars; full of absolutely excellent scenes and direction and performances; and holy crap what an ending. When you watch a few of these kinds of shared-universe genre shows, this sort of thing is a rarity to the point of my never having seen it before. Seasons that are too long? Filler episodes? Disappointing lore? A “thirteen-hour movie”? Mando swerves all of these things and – notwithstanding my love for The Last Jedi – emerges as possibly the best thing Star Wars has done since at least the classic LucasArts games of the late nineties.

Series SeXy: finally the new consoles came out, and I got an Xbox Series X. It was quite a ride for yours truly: I managed to successfully pre-order one from Microsoft directly; it turned up on the day of release, except it was late in the evening and the kids were around so I couldn’t open it; then, after briefly testing it, I shoved it back in its box till Christmas. Honestly, you wanna talk about anticipation much? It was literally in my house and I still didn’t properly set it up till the evening on Christmas Day. Anyway: it’s great. It just works, y’know? It’s a beautiful boxy delight, with its chunky green holes and its shiny edges. It makes all my games look amazing, it’s so fast and buttery-smooth. It’s like upgrading a PC, but far more successful and expansive an upgrade than I was ever able to do when I was actually upgrading a PC. Anyway, it’s great. It even runs Cyberpunk 2077.

Lockdown Crossing: Animal Crossing: New Horizons arrived at exactly the right time. Lockdown was starting, everything was darkness and fear, people were dying, we needed distractions, and here was a game about being happy and friendly and doing up your house and digging up fossils. It was perfect. It was also a great social game, with my kids loving sending presents to each other, or meeting up with their uncle (who they literally saw only once this year). A great game at just the right time.

The Stream Where it Happens: Mando might have been my TV highlight of the year, but film-wise my favourite new movie was not only not really a movie but was also several years old. Hamilton popped up almost by surprise on Disney+, and it was the first time I’d been able to experience it – and it was just as good as I’d heard. At this point you don’t need me to rhapsodise about the lyricism, performance, staging, and West Wing references; I think you either get it or you don’t, and I got it big time. Weirdly, experiencing it at home made some kind of perfect sense, and it made up for missing out on the big cinematic musicals such as In the Heights and West Side Story.

Fantabulous Harley Quinn: Harley rocked on both the big and the small screen this year. Birds of Prey, or whatever it ended up being called, was actually the last film I saw at the cinema before the Big Shutdown of 2020. It’s not perfect, sure, but it’s a hell of a lot of fun; Margot Robbie is a blast, it’s really funny, and is edgy in just the right way, rather than feeling like it’s trying too hard. I was more sceptical going into the Harley Quinn animated show (starring Penny off The Big Bang Theory, for goodness’ sake!), as “sweary adult Harley Quinn cartoon” is pretty high on my checklist of “things that are trying to be edgy”, but I’m glad I gave it a chance, because it followed a very similar line to the movie. Hilarious, violent, filthy, but also offering a subtle unpeeling of Harley’s psyche and giving her more character development than she gets in most of her comic appearances. It was a great year for Harley. Just wish they’d show the second season of her show.

All This Plus Disney: yeah, I’ve already singled out Mando and Ham (great unmade detective show, there), but I’ve gotta say Disney+ in general has been a huge highlight. From getting all yer Marvels and yer Star Wars in one place, to a wealth of preschool and middle-grade shows for the kids (my youngest mainlined Vampirina this Spring), to being a home for loads of high-quality family films from years gone by (it was the prime destination for many a family movie night), to, well, the future. WandaVision launches in a couple of weeks, followed by dozens of great shows and movies; not just ones about sad superheroes, either – personally I can’t wait for the likes of Chip & Dale. I’ve gotta say, I’ve been really impressed, and once they roll out the sexier, swearier Fox stuff later this year, it’ll only get better.

A Schitt Year: we got into Schitt’s Creek rather late (like many a sitcom – I think we only discovered Brooklyn Nine-Nine and The Good Place in the last eighteen months or so), but it’s truly sublime, and it only got better and better as it built towards it joyous climax (ewww, David!). It was a great show about a family of people who were kinda arseholes, but were really very nice underneath it all, and how this town of people who were sorta idiots but kinda nice underneath it all brought out the better natures of everybody. It was, basically, a show about the all-encompassing power of being Nice. I’m so, so happy that it achieved huge success in its final season, winning literally all the Emmys. Hot Schitt.

Top Trek: 2020 was bookended by the two newest incarnations of People Boldly Going, Picard and Discovery. I was super excited to check in with Jean-Luc and pals nearly twenty years since we’d last seen them; although the show wasn’t a Best of Both Worlds-style masterpiece, it presented a believably fractured vision of the Federation, and a sadder, wearier Picard. It got a bit bogged down in Borg stuff, and I wasn’t totally sold on the ending, but I’m very, very eager to spend more time with these characters in future seasons. Discovery, meanwhile, flashed forward, with a season set about 900 years after Picard, and gave us what amounts to the closest Star Trek gets to a dystopia. It took its time settling in, but by crikey it pulled its threads together for a great run of episodes as we gear up to the finale later this week. I’ve very much enjoyed Star Trek on TV this year, and I’m really looking forward to whatever comes next.

Netflickin’ Ass: on the one hand, it was quite nice to see streaming services picking up the slack during the cinema closures, with many films winding up on Prime Video or Netflix or wherever; there were also those “Premium VOD” options, such as Trolls World Tour or Mulan, but I never quite fancied parting with so much cash for a rental (“Only if it’s Black Widow or Wonder Woman,” I said… so, yeah, see you later this month for the latter!). One trend I did notice, however, was Netflix also picking up the slack of “big Hollywood star-driven action movie”. Y’know, the stuff that had Van Damme or Seagal in it in the ‘90s, before everything became franchised (Mission: Impossible could almost fall under this banner, but Cruise became too huge and the series itself eventually was the draw, I’d argue). Anyway, these sorts of films nowadays are low-rent DTV fodder starring slumming former megastars, so fair play to Netflix for resurrecting the genre and giving it a fresh coat of paint and lease of life. Stuff like Extraction and The Old Guard weren’t exactly masterpieces, but they were solidly entertaining with great central performances and some nicely turned-out action. Looking forward to more of the same – bigger, better, and with more people getting killed with rakes!

A Summer of Anticipation: it was a weird year – well, yeah, of course it was, you know, you were there. But one of the things that was weird was that so much was going to happen. I mean, there were loads of things I was looking forward to as the year began; from the MCU and Star Wars shows to big movies, smaller movies, and – of course – new games consoles. And as the year went on, amidst the angsty real-world wait-and-see, there was also a steady drip of news and non-news as we held on to find out which films were pushed back, which were skipping the cinema, and mostly what the games would look like on the new consoles. Barely a week seemed to go by without new rumours, new stories, and new leaked videos or imagery. It was maddening and infuriating but also, weirdly, glorious. This strange ongoing sense of anticipation and wonder, even if quite often the news ended up being disappointing as more and more big hitters slipped to 2021 (everything from Bond to Halo to pretty much the whole MCU). But like an entire year made up of Christmas Eves, it felt for the longest time that anything was possible… just round the corner.

See? It wasn’t all bad. And maybe this year we’ll get to enjoy all the stuff we thought we’d enjoy in 2020! I mean, at the very least, Trump’s gonna be gone… right?

#top ten #2020 #film #tv #disney #hamilton #mandalorian #games #xbox #halo #series x

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swimintothesound · 6 years

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Swim Into The Sound’s 20 Favorite Albums of 2017

Last Year

2017 sucked. Politics have sucked. People have sucked. My diet has sucked. Everything is falling apart in slow motion. The entire year has felt like one prolonged exercise in frustration as we collectively fight back with about as much power as a punch thrown in a dream state.

I spent the first half of this year working a job that was fun, creatively fulfilling, paid well, and in my field. That ticks pretty much all of the “career boxes” one could ask for, so as turbulent as the gig was, I was disappointed when it came to an end over the summer. I’ve spent the back half of this year wrangling random freelance gigs, volunteering, looking for a job, and reveling in ambiguous employment.

It’s no coincidence that, after a six-month break, I began writing here regularly back in May because I truly had no other creative outlet at the time. I’d just like to say: thank God for this blog. Swim Into The Sound has proven to be an excellent way to expel my oft-overflowing creative juices, and writing here has provided me more solace, motivation, and guidance than I can ever put into words.

I’d also like to extend a personal and sincere thanks to you for reading. Whether this is your first time here or you’ve been subscribed for months, every reader means the world to me. On top of increased readership, I’ve also received some absolutely incredible responses to my writing this year. I’ve grabbed the attention of artists I love and podcasters that I look up to. I made the front page of /r/indieheads (my internet home), and people that I know in real life have discussed Swim Into The Sound write-ups with me. Most of the time I just write this stuff, edit it until I’m slightly less ashamed, then throw it out onto the internet. It’s forever-astonishing to me that anyone engages with these words, so thank you. It’s been a spectacular journey, and there are already many cool projects brewing for 2018. I can’t wait to see where things go from here.

To keep from drowning you in personal details, let’s just get straight to the main event. As bad as some parts of 2017 have been, it was actually an incredible year for music. Unlike the past, 2017 has felt like a year with no “clear” album of the year winner. There was no Blonde, Carrie & Lowell or To Pimp a Butterfly. No album that made a massive culture-wide impact, or even wormed its way into my list of all-time favorites yet. Instead, it’s been a year of many, many, many great albums, which in some ways is more exciting.

2017 has also been a year of upheaval. A year where women could rule, creeps could be called out, and our world was at risk of ending at any moment. It’s an exciting, hopeful, draining, and terrifying time to be alive. It has also been a year of unexpected surprises. I’ve found welcome homes in unexpected places, both online and in real life, and these communities have helped make me a stronger person.

2017 was also a year of discovery. I've been to more concerts in the past 12 months than I have the rest of my life combined. Thanks to a free 6-month TIDAL subscription, I’ve made more musical discoveries in 2017 than any year previously. From Hamilton to Swans, I’ve broadened my horizons more this year than ever before.

There are a lot of things to say about 2017, but if nothing else, it was the year that I learned about the power of weirdness. The strength that all of us have to stand up to the people in power. The creative potential that lies within all of us. I’ve found excitement in the new, and comfort in tradition. As always, this blog is a place to celebrate both old and new, but December specifically is a time to pause and reflect on the year that’s just passed. The things that inspire. The things that bring hope. The magnificent creations.

I’ve been celebrating 2017 for the entire month of December, and this post officially marks the end of “List Season” here on Swim Into The Sound. If you haven’t checked out our Diamond Platter Awards or Un-Awards, please feel free to peruse them for an even more complete picture of both the good and bad that 2017 has had to offer. But from here on out we find only the great. The impeccable. The cream of the crop. The best pieces from a year of many fantastic works.

So here’s to the weird. The new, the fresh, and the bold. Here’s to staying strong. Here are my 20 favorite albums of 2017.

20 | Slowdive - Slowdive

Slowdive’s self-titled album plays out like a fever dream. From its first notes, the record warmly envelops your entire body, consuming you like a long-lost childhood memory. As the album wears on, it transports the listener further, slowly shepherding them as they venture from their starting point on earth until they’re floating weightlessly in space surrounded only by far-off glittering lights and nostalgic memories from a life that’s not their own.

In keeping with the introduction’s theme of “discovery,” Slowdive is a group that I’d never listened to until this year. Needless to say, the fact that the band’s self-titled fourth album was their first in 22-years was lost on me. Despite the fact that I went into the album fresh and lacking context, the impact of Slowdive’s 2017 release was still severely felt.

There’s a sense of strange familiarity and nostalgia at play throughout Slowdive. Songs like “Star Roving” and “Sugar for the Pill” have an immediately-accessible grungy 90’s sound in which Sonic-Youth-esque vocals pair with reverb-ridden post-rock guitars and precise drumming. Using this word feels weird (especially for a record that isn’t even my favorite of the year), but Slowdive is perfect. It’s a flawless self-contained adventure that’s both accessible to newcomers and satiating to long-time fans. It’s the purest distillation of what dream pop is all about. It’s a monumental record of whirring soundscapes that shift like slowly-moving giants and crash against the listener like dense ocean waves. Slowdive is a masterful release from a band who’s not afraid to wait for greatness.

19 | SZA - CTRL

A “summer album” if I’ve ever heard one, SZA’s long-awaited debut LP is a bright, shimmering, and sunny record packed with songs of unrequited love punctuated by brief moments of carefree enjoyment. Songs jump from soaring infectious melodies to harrowing tales of normalcy at a moment’s notice, making for a manic listening experience that’s just as fun-loving as it is heartbreaking.

CTRL is an album about a normal girl by a normal girl. A collection of songs about the human experience from an honest and decidedly-female perspective. It’s like the R&B version of My Woman sprinkled with breakneck vocals, raw lyricism, and Blonde-esque instrumentation. Even when singing about well-trodden topics like late-night hookups, SZA manages to make everything feel refreshing and new. You get the sense that countless long hours and many late nights were spent crafting this album because the entire LP feels well-worn, well-loved, and well-thought out. CTRL is a single confidently-delivered package that glistens and beams in the sunlight of the listener’s heart.

18 | Jay Z - 4:44

It’s embarrassing to admit, but it’s confession time: until this year I’ve never listened to a Jay-Z project in full. I'd heard the hits, the guest verses, the collaborations, and I know he's got a trilogy of near-perfect hip-hop albums, but to be honest, I've just never been that into Mr. Carter’s approach to rapping. When I heard people raving about his thirteenth album, I decided that I had nothing to lose, so I took full advantage of my TIDAL subscription, set my reservations aside, and give it a shot.

Ever since Beyonce’s 2016 album I’ve been invested in the "Lemonade Narrative," and it turns out 4:44 followed that album up directly by providing listeners with some sense of conclusion and finality.

While I came for the People Magazine drama, I stayed for everything else. It turns out 4:44 is a stunning, honest, and compact album that features Jay-Z at his most reflective and adult-like state yet. I guess scandal, nearly losing your wife, then having twins is enough to change anyone for the better. On top of Jay's refreshing take on himself, we have an album that's centered around his old sample-based soul sound. Helmed entirely by No I.D., this led to a record that feels complete, consistent, and singularly-visionary throughout. While Jay-Z has been resting on his laurels artistically for some time, this album proves he still has a strong voice, important things to say, and an impactful message that's worth conveying in 2017. As he moves into the position of hip-hop's father figure, I'm now excited for the first time in my life to see what Mr. Carter has in store for us next.

17 | Father John Misty - Pure Comedy

It was unclear where Father John Misty would go after 2015’s breakthrough I Love You, Honeybear. Turns out the answer was everywhere. From tormenting Ryan Adams to duetting with Tim Heidecker, Tillman’s extra-musical antics are simply too innumerable to list in one single blurb. The good thing for fans was, as overwhelming as the avalanche of news updates sometimes felt, each headline managed to be entertaining and (more often than not) resulted in fresh music.

When it came time to release his third album under the Father John Misty persona, Josh Tillman turned his gaze outward. Shifting from the self-destructive personal tales of Honeybear, Pure Comedy finds Misty openly waging war against the universe and everyone in it. In the album’s slow-mounting opening track, a winding piano skitters around Tillman’s biting stanzas, ensuring that neither it nor the listener are trampled underfoot. As the lyrics outline the cosmic absurdity of existence, the piano pulls away, the vocals mount, and a gently-brushed drum begins to keep time just as Tillman belts out the album’s title. It feels like an announcement. An exercise. The catharsis of two albumless years and an election gone awry.

Featuring grand, swelling, and sometimes rambling songs, Pure Comedy blurs the lines between a post-apocalyptic near-future and present day. The album becomes a microscope through which humanity is observed, and everyone’s a smug asshole including our narrator.

The album’s definitive moment comes with its last two songs “So I'm Growing Old on Magic Mountain” and “In Twenty Years or So” which together make for an epic 17-minute meditative send-off. Both songs are massive, colorful, and awe-inspiring ballads that hit you with a crippling emotional gut punch before landing on what’s essentially a twist ending. Best experienced as the conclusion to the album’s 74-minute journey, Pure Comedy may take some time to sink in, but once it does, it will linger with you forever.

16 | (Sandy) Alex G - Rocket

Alexander Giannascoli is an enigma. A wonderfully-gifted singer, willfully-obtuse songwriter, and prodigy of melody, Alex G first rose to prominence through a series of increasingly-prolific Bandcamp releases culminating in DSU, his indie-wide breakthrough. Since then, he’s made a name for himself continuing to record artistically-acclaimed small-scale releases in between working with Frank Ocean, and more recently, he’s undergone a name change rebranding himself by adding “(Sandy)” to the front of his title.

Much like the man behind the music, Rocket is a mysterious and wandering album full of bright sounds and brilliant ideas. From jaunty country duets to auto-tuned croons, and even hardcore noise rock screams Giannascoli wields an astonishing amount of genres effectively throughout Rocket’s 41 minutes. Despite the fact that nearly every song takes a different musical approach, the entire record maintains a strong sense of self and wholeness throughout. Each additional sound and layer of weirdness adds merely one more brush stroke on to the bigger story that’s already been painted, resulting in a beautiful and one-of-a-kind work.

15 | Kendrick Lamar - DAMN.

Kendrick Lamar’s fourth LP is one of the most important records of 2017. A shared experience, a communal soundtrack, and a cultural anthem, DAMN. is a stadium-packing monument to the marginalized, underrepresented, and underserved. Despite an impressive prelude, intricate self-referential throughlines, and conceptual frameworks (both real and imagined), the Compton rapper’s 2017 release is fantastic but falls just short of his last two LPs.

Taking neither the cinematic route of Good Kid, M.A.A.D City, or the jazzy cultural takedown that was To Pimp A Butterfly, DAMN. lies somewhere in the middle as a primarily-autobiographical record that finds Lamar contextualizing his existence within a broader cultural landscape. Each song is a personal unmasking of the man behind the music, and the demons that live within him. Each word lets the listener a half-step deeper into Lamar’s psyche.

While DAMN. isn’t bad, I feel the need to defend my decision to place it towards the back of this list (in opposition to apparently every other publication this year). At a certain point, whatever album followed the magnum opus that is To Pimp a Butterfly was destined to be a disappointment, or at the very least feel like comparing apples to oranges. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been enjoying DAMN. all year (and listened to it more than almost every other album of 2017), but I can’t shake the feeling something is missing that kept it from being truly next-level.

Part of the reason I’d rank DAMN. below some of Lamar’s earlier albums is how piecemeal it feels. Songs stand alone (for better or worse) and rarely feel like part of a cohesive point that the artist is making. While this allows for some incredible variation and sonic experimentation, it also means DAMN. feels formless and aimless at times. The reason it gets #15 is that even a good-to-great Kendrick Lamar album is better than most other records any given year.

“HUMBLE.” is an unparalleled cultural anthem. “DNA.” is a blood-pumping, muscle-flexing, and stank-face-inducing track. “FEAR.” is a foreboding tale that recounts three pivotal ages in Kendrick’s life. Each of these songs have become standouts of 2017, and even some of Lamar’s best. A commentary on race, sexuality, and our nation, DAMN. is just a pit stop in the career of the greatest rapper alive.

14 | Idles - Brutalism

I’m a punk at heart. While I’m not as angry as I was back in high school, I often forget how deep those roots go and how influential that genre of music has been for me. Sometimes a record comes out that rekindles a long-lost love and can bring you back where you were at a specific moment in time, and for me that’s Brutalism. Hailing from Bristol, Idles are an English punk band that has been active for nearly half a decade at this point. After a string of EPs, Brutalism marks the group’s first official LP, and while it’s only the group’s debut, that five-year cooking time is evident in how fleshed out this record is. It feels like a career high, and it’s only our introduction to the band.

“Heel / Heal” kicks things off like a powder keg as the drum unrelentingly pounds forward with engine-like momentum. Soon singer Joe Talbot enters the mix and exasperatedly exclaims “I’m DONE” as the bass and guitar explode beneath him. Tracks like “Well Done” and “Date Night” perfectly capture the directionless anger that accompanies mid-20’s joblessness and sexual frustration, all captured in biting two-minute takes that bounce back and forth between the walls of the listener’s skull.

“Mother” is the album’s snarling high-point as the group weave a tale of matriarchal political betrayal. Hooking the listener with a twist chorus as a well-placed pause allows them to unveil a beautifully-poetic “Mother… Fucker.” It’s barebones, simplistic, straight-forward punk music that evokes the best parts of the Dead Kennedys, Black Flag, and The Sex Pistols, all presented in a surprisingly clean and well-produced 40-minute package.

13 | Tyler, The Creator - Flower Boy

There’s no doubt about it; Tyler, The Creator grew up before our eyes. The enigmatic figurehead of Odd Future made a name for himself at the dawn of the New Internet by leveraging a deft understanding of new media and shock value as fuel for the unparalleled rise of a group of 20-something Californian teenagers. Tyler’s solo career has wound from Horrorcore to Death Grips-esque industrial hip-hop, but on his latest LP, he eschews all that for a veneer up-front of transparency.

On the opening track “Forward” we witness Tyler as he wrestles with everything from waning popularity to racist cops to his own sexuality. It’s here that we begin to realize we’re in store for a more honest record. While the album still has some scattered bangers like “Who Dat Boy” and “I Ain’t Got Time!”, the remainder of the album is a jazzy and shockingly-reserved outing that allows Tyler to vulnerably open up more than we’ve ever seen before. “November” and “See You Again” both revel in nostalgia while “911 / Mr. Lonely” and “Where This Flower Blooms” offer hopeful rays of positivity that claw towards the possibility of a brighter future.

When Flower Boy leaked two weeks ahead of its scheduled release date, most of the discussion online surrounded “Garden Shed,” the album’s revealing centerpiece that, combined with a handful of references scattered throughout the record, seem to allude to Tyler coming out of the closet. While there have been several hints up to this point, Tyler addressing this topic so entirely feels like the coming of a new age. The hip-hop figure who made a name for himself eating cockroaches and embracing vulgar darkness is now crooning and singing about kissing white boys. It’s refreshing, shocking, and reassuring all at once. Undeniably his best work, the world now finds itself rapt as we wait for the newly-matured Tyler, The Creator to make his next move.

12 | Julien Baker - Turn Out The Lights

The most spiritual experience I’ve had with music this year (maybe ever) has been interacting with Julien Baker’s Sprained Ankle over the summer. I say ‘interacting with’ because it was much more than just listening. The album deeply affected me. It touched me. It was affirmation that everything was going to be okay and my feelings weren’t invalid. I spent a month or two going on long, multi-hour, half-drunk, wistfully-existential walks, the feelings of which I detailed in this write-up over the summer. What initially began as a lazy way to get my Fitbit steps in, quickly evolved into therapy. Something I needed to do to work out issues I was going through at that time. My first job had crumbled before my eyes, and I’d never felt more isolated and alone. When Baker announced her sophomore album was coming out by the end of the year, I found myself emotionally-drained, but hungry for more.

Turn Out the Lights begins with the arid creak of an old floorboard and a slowly-mounting piano line. That piano bleeds into “Appointments,” and soon Baker unveils herself as the force of nature that she is. The keys become eclipsed by a faintly-glimmering guitar as Baker regretfully explains that she’s spending the night at home. The song slowly mounts into an explosive cry of shaky self-assurance “Maybe it's all gonna turn out alright / Oh, I know that it's not / but I have to believe that it is.”

The remainder of the album’s songs follow a similar pattern, often focusing on one single instrument and Julien Baker’s incredible voice as she outlines tales of death, regret, and religion. It’s a heart-breaking album of stunning moments and impeccable songwriting that manage to articulately explain the dark, dull pain of a deep depression. I believe in God and Julien Baker.

11 | Smidley - Smidley

I first stumbled across Smidley in a half-hearted attempt research the bands who were opening for Tigers Jaw on tour this spring. After 33 minutes of listening to the group’s breezy self-titled record, I calmly collected myself, picked my jaw off the floor, and listened to the whole thing again.

Probably one of my biggest “surprises” this year, Smidley’s self-titled record is brought to us courtesy of Foxing’s frontman Conor Murphy and features a collection of ten refreshingly-unique pop-punk tracks. Often fueled by bile and anger, the songs on Smidley range from soccer mom takedowns to dead dogs, yet every song bears the same airy, happy, summery disposition, and I can’t think of any other artist that could deliver a chorus of “Fuck This” in such a pleasant tone.

While “Fuck This” may have been a personal chant of mine throughout 2017, the most striking moment of the album comes in its closing song. Preceded by a dark ballad of drool-inducing drug binges, “Under The Table” is a cresting pop-punk depiction of a relationship that finds Murphy singing the song’s chorus in a whispered voice. As he sings the song’s title, his words are punctuated by a towering drum strike and the track explodes to life as a set of double-tracked vocals pair with a bouncy bass and rigorous guitar. It’s a cathartic and throat-shredding closer that left me in awe, the ballsy ending note to an album that surprised me with brilliance from its first seconds.

10 | BROCKHAMPTON - SATURATION II

My first exposure to BROCKHAMPTON came when I sat down to listen to the first of three records the group released this year. Encouraged by a friend to check them out, I went into the Saturation Trilogy knowing nothing more than the fact that BROCKHAMPTON was an Odd Future-esque music collective that preferred to be labeled as a “boy band.”

The first thing I heard when I hit play on “HEAT” was 10 seconds of a garbled ambient hum. Suddenly a series of drum hits and a nastily-blown out bass forced their way onto the track accompanied by the first set of lyrics: “I got pipe dreams of crack rocks and stripper poles.” and every muscle in my body stiffened at once. After these introductory lines, the group’s members went on to trade bars about everything from race to self-medication over the song’s four and a half minutes before culminating in a brutish scream of “FUCK YOU.” I was hooked.

Gripped by the song’s lyrical and instrumental ferocity, I was hungry for more, but the next song sounded nothing like the first, and the third sounded nothing like either before it… yet they all worked. The first tape’s other highlights include the pop-culturally-dense “STAR” and “BUMP,” a track that jostles the listener from pop-punk-esque singing to gritty hip-hop bars. The boy band seemed to be intentionally trying to throw the listener off at every turn, packing as many ideas, sounds, voices, and topics into one project as humanly possible, and the crazy thing is that it worked.

At this point, it practically feels cliched to talk about BROCKHAMPTON's origin (a group of teens who met on a message board and all moved into a house to create music), but it feels necessary because it gives context to the group’s output. Having released three albums, a documentary, TV show, and tour all within 365 days is a feat. The fact that all each of these multimedia creations are of the same impeccable quality is what’s worth writing home about. BROCKHAMPTON are prolific young creators incarnate. Handling everything from production and art direction in-house, the group is DIY-ing their way to the top of the rap game through sheer brute force.

On Saturation II the group finds an even more refined sound. I went in cautious, wondering if they could even brush the same level of greatness as we saw on the first Saturation, yet the group managed to exceed even that. Early album cut “QUEER” represents a single-song encapsulation of what makes the group special, jumping from punchy “fuck you” hip-hop to infectious mid-verse chants to jarring crooned choruses, the song swings between multiple sounds and genres all in less than four minutes. On the opposite end of the spectrum, the penultimate “SUNNY” interpolates “Torn” by Natalie Imbruglia in a moment that sent me into a powerful spiral of nostalgia the first time I heard that iconic late-90’s guitar slide.

To put it simply, everything is better on Saturation II. The earworm-ready choruses are refined further, the verses are tighter, and the beats are even wilder. The whole album is more polished and cohesive with songs that can work on their own and exist within the context of the larger album. Flawless, unreal, and unlike anything else this year.

9 | Half Waif - form/a

Half Waif’s form/a EP is an introverted, lush, and secluded 19-minute collection of electronic songs single-mindedly concerned with emotions and moods. Sung solely from the perspective of frontwoman Nandi Rose Plunkett, this EP finds her reflecting on impactful and pivotal moments from her childhood using a cold Celtic electronic soundscape as her icy backdrop.

Throughout the EP Plunkett finds herself reckoning with what it means to be a woman in the world, and what decisions have led her to this exact moment in time. Her voice is haunting and calculated. Her keyboards swell just when she needs them to, and the drums kick in at just the right moments. It’s clear that Nandi has a strong command over every piece of the world that she’s exposing you to, a carefully-constructed recreation of her memories, tragedies, and thoughts forever documented lovingly on the 19 minutes of form/a.

It’s an album about missing out, getting lost in your own head, and vanishing into nothing. Opening and closing with a set of lyrics about emotions, she finally reveals the album’s meaning in “Cerulean” as she sings “My mood has no form / It sits on my chest heavy and warm / My mood is not an invited guest / It takes over my body and gives me no rest.” It’s a striking and introverted sentiment dripping with emotion and rawness, delivered over a cold and unfeeling electronic beat.

A seemingly common topic for Nandi, this idea of formless and untamable moods is something that feels surprisingly missing from music. Songs are so often about feelings and the actions that they inspire, but rarely ever the moods themselves. form/a is a beautiful and sprawling expedition of the self that feels familiar and foreign at once.

8 | Sorority Noise - You're Not as Alone As You Think

For a while Sorority Noise was just another half-silly, half-serious emo band that sang about girls, and sad feelings. While I thought I preferred the group’s earlier carefree approach to emo, 2017’s You’re Not As _____ As You Think takes the seriousness of 2015’s Joy, Departed to the next level musically, lyrically, and mentally.

In an interview with Stereogum, the group’s primary musical force Cameron Boucher detailed an experience that served as the record’s driving force. Following the suicide of a childhood friend, Cameron found himself back in his hometown:

“Sean had been passed away for about a year, but I didn’t remember that. And so I was like, I’m gonna drive by Sean’s house and just stop by and say hi. And then I drove to his house, and when I pulled up in front, I realized he wasn’t there. That’s what the chorus of [No Halo] is about, and the whole song in general… I think I literally just sat in my car and wrote 90% of the lyrics right there.”

We saw the immediate effects of Sean’s suicide on It Kindly Stopped for Me, an EP that was never meant to be released to the public but was put out in hopes that it would help others in the same way that it helped Cameron. In that same interview, Boucher revealed that he primarily writes songs from emotion, as a way to cope with reality, not really thinking about what they mean or needing to explain them down the road. What we see on You’re Not As _____ As You Think is someone who’s sat, meditated, and grown from the pain of this loss. It tackles drug abuse, depression, religion, and everything in between with some of the most raw, honest, and heartfelt lyrics that I’ve ever heard.

In late October the group released Alone a follow-up 7” that was meant to fill in the blank space in You’re Not As _____ As You Think. Containing two songs that add an additional layer of gravitas, and reflection to the full LP, these two releases combine into one singularly-impactful emotional gut punch that candidly addresses depression openly and honestly.

7 | The National - Sleep Well, Beast

On the cover of The National’s new album, we see a black and white photo of a happy home. Composed of five straight lines, the house is simple and picturesque as if it were drawn by a child. The sky is grey and muted like a fall morning at 3am. Inside of the house, we can make out a handful of figures. The house is missing a door. We’re not sure what’s happening, we’re not sure if they’re happy, but all we know is that we’re on the outside looking in.

The music contained behind this cover is suitably just as grey and simplistic. Jutting around drunkenly with jagged songs of sadness and regret, Sleep Well, Beast is The National’s great monument. I’ve been listening to the band casually for years now, but nothing has ever grabbed me the way that this record has. I listened through a few times thinking ‘this is good’ but then one fateful day, an old relationship sprang back into my life while “Carin at the Liquor Store” was playing and The National made cosmic sense to me at that moment. Suitably wistful, overwrought, and trapped in their own heads, this is music made for turbulence of the soul. Music for a world that doesn’t make sense, but you must exist in nonetheless.

On a late October episode of Comedy Bang Bang, the National found themselves playing acoustic renditions of Beast songs in between interviews with zany characters. Before playing “Guilty Party,” lead singer Matt Berninger explained that the record about “looking over the edge of ‘what if?’” It’s an album about hibernation. About emerging from depression and combating the dregs of the world with dogged consistency if nothing else.

Beautifully-composed with dashes of electronic elements and long, swaying melodies, every song contained here showcases a different strength of the band. It’s an album that makes you happy to have lived. Even if you’re encountering a constant stream of bullshit, slowly being beaten down and drained by the great torrent of life, Sleep Well Beast assures you it’s all worth it by letting you know there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. Hope for us all in the grey dawn.

6 | Phoebe Bridgers - Stranger in the Alps

Phoebe Bridgers’ soul is haunted. Throughout Stranger in the Alps, her guitar, voice, and thoughts drip with tangible darkness and unshakable regret. It’s a 44-minute soul-bearing expedition that will leave you physically and emotionally drained by the end.

Beginning with “Smoke Signals” a rolling, arid track that finds our hero dying vicariously through Lemmy and Bowie, the album twitches and swirls with life, reveling in the shifting blackness of the afterlife. Throughout the record we see flashes of a life well-lived: singing at funerals, unearnest hypnotherapist visits, and basking in the half-comfort of a shower beer. All of these tracks center around Bridgers’ confidently-delivered vocals, impeccable guitar work, and brilliant stretches of self-destructive storytelling.

One of the most haunting works comes at the album’s halfway point in the form of “Killer,” a measured piano-ballad track that finds Bridgers taking after indie folk Gods like Sufjan Stevens by comparing herself directly to a renowned serial killer. In the back half of the song she flashes forward to her own death as the piano flutters and a subtle hum of strings enter the mix. Stranger is one of the best debut albums I’ve heard in years, and as Bridgers embarks on a nationwide tour on the back of this record’s success, I absolutely can’t wait to see what she has for us next.

5 | The War on Drugs - A Deeper Understanding

Long-time fans will know that when I call something “background music” I mean it as a compliment. For months now, The War on Drugs A Deeper Understanding has been my go-to “background album” for nearly every situation and I believe it deserves props for that alone. When no other music presents itself to me, when I can’t think of anything else to listen to, when my queue is empty, this record is always there.

There’s something to be said for an album that’s calm and steady enough to lie in the background, yet musical enough to stand on its own. Some of my all-time favorite groups like Mogwai, Explosions in the Sky, and Russian Circles are all bands that I adore and lovingly refer to as background music. They’ve helped me read, write, and create. They’re the perfect soundtrack to life, and now A Deeper Understanding joins their ranks as a fantastic album of infinite subtleties, musical vastness, and ever-cresting sonic landscapes.

On top of this situational flexibility, A Deeper Understanding also manages to improve upon the band’s previous effort Lost in the Dream which is astounding. The highs are louder and more blistering, and the lows hit even harder. Every song is a journey, and each solo implores you to get out and explore the world. A romantic record that inspires with each breath it takes.

4 | Mount Eerie - A Crow Looked at Me

Phil Elverum has a message to declare: Death is real. Recorded after his wife’s passing in July of 2016, A Crow Looked at Me is the draining of grief. An exorcism of pain. A confessional, first-hand account of the soul-wringing agony that is inflicted in the wake of the death of a loved one. How you live. How your infant daughter lives. The crushing pain of mundanity and how everything you see is a memory. A past. A future. A plan that never got to unfold. It's not an album, it’s grief incarnate. It’s not fun to listen to, but it’s one of the most important releases of the year. The more you dig into the album, the more it hurts. Each line is a painful, poetic, being-shifting barb in which you empathize with Elverum unlike any other artist.

Recorded entirely on his wife’s instruments, the physical record has exact times demarcating how long each song was written from the time of her death. Some songs use a respirator for the beat and contain lyrics about how even the old garbage in the upstairs bathroom serves as a reminder that your loved one is gone. Every moment is beautiful, and every second hurts. It hangs heavy in your chest and will remain there for the rest of your life.

3 | Lorde - Melodrama

On the polar opposite of Crow, we have Lorde’s Melodrama a bright, joyful, and carefree album that, yes, is about a breakup, but handles that topic with as much happiness as a pop album possibly can.

Lorde’s first album in four years, Melodrama was one of 2017’s most highly anticipated releases. From aged poptimists to teen streamers and radio-ready moms, everyone was looking forward to the iconic New Zealanders return to music, and the most miraculous thing is that Lorde managed to please every one of these groups with the same album. Melodrama is musical enough to stand on its own against “high art,” poppy enough to be played on the radio, and has just enough flourishes to reward repeat listening.

To put it simply, Melodrama is the best of every possible world. A sophomore album that manages to please fans both old and new. A shining example of the heights that the pop genre can achieve, and the barriers it can break. It’s the continued and never-ending story of how one sixteen year old can rocket herself from a 2013 Song of the Summer to industry mainstay, segueing all that into the creation of one of the best releases of an entire genre. Melodrama is a pure, unbridled, and brilliant success on every level.

2 | Feist - Pleasure

Like most other denizens of 2007, my first exposure to Feist was through her fluke pop hit “1234.” As previously documented, I was slavishly devoted to late-2000’s-era pop music, so this song’s cultural impact was not lost on me. Like many other listeners, the song quickly faded from my consciousness and I wrote Feist off as a one-hit-wonder. After all, “1234” was essentially a Sesame Street song and, while catchy, wasn’t particularly deep. So I categorized her in the same vapid Adult Contemporary genre as Teddy Geiger and James Blunt: not offensive, but not something I’d ever seek out on my own. Aside from a one-off reference in a 2009 episode of The Office, I seemed to be right for the most part, at least she never broke her way back into my iTunes library.

When I saw people glowingly discussing Feist’s 2017 record I was intrigued, to say the least. Assuming it would merely be a pleasant and well-polished pop album full of slightly-Canadian tunes, I sought out the record and let it play through.

Expertly-deployed as the first song, “Pleasure” is an absolutely stunning introduction that immediately dismantled every one of my previously-held 1234-based notions. Boldly opening with 20-seconds of near-silence, “Pleasure” lulls the listener into a false sense of security with single row of, slightly-distorted guitar plucks and a reserved Leslie Feist on vocals. The melody slowly unwinds as Feist expertly pairs her voice with her guitar. Soon the music cuts down to almost nothing and Feist’s voice is reduced to a whisper as she moves closer to the mic croons the album’s title. Then, just as the listener is leaning in, straining to hear the song’s delicate melody, Feist cranks her guitar up to eleven as a simple snarl-inducing riff consumes the entire track. Towering over the rest of the mix, the distorted guitar strings swallow everything in their immediate proximity, blistering through the riff as the listener is shaken by the sudden change of tone. It’s a beautiful bait and switch, and merely the first example in an album that is brimming over the top with one-of-a-kind moments.

As an album, Pleasure finds itself oscillating between tender fragility and raw power. In a pre-album interview, Feist explained that the album is said to “explore emotional limits: loneliness, private ritual, secrets, shame, mounting pressures, disconnect, tenderness, rejection, care and the lack thereof.” and Pleasure manages to handle every one of these topics with extraordinary grace.

Sometimes the scope of the songs will pull out to reveal the larger context, but for most of this album, you're just listening to Feist and her guitar. The songwriting and melody are sharper than almost everything I’ve heard all year, and I emerged from my first listen ashamed. Mad at myself for writing her off as a one-hit wonder when the reality couldn’t have been further from the truth: Feist is an artistic force to be reckoned with.

Funnily enough, there are also moments that come across as very trapped in time like references to flip phones, a spoken word passage by Jarvis Cocker, and a completely left-field Mastodon sample. The beauty of Pleasure is that somehow none of these elements feel out of place or make the album feel trapped in 2007. Instead, they make the record all the more special. They serve as one-of-a-kind instants that would feel ingenious anywhere else. The musical equivalent of well-worn leather. A double-helix of unique and unpredictable beauty.

Pleasure is a barebones album that’s deeply-personal and loving, occasionally violent and explosive, and wholly beautiful. Tracks like “Lost Dreams” feel like controlled explosions: moments of eruptive vitriol, surrounded by pensive waves of rocking harmonies. Songs like “Baby Be Simple” smolder and rumble onward, often carried forward only by Leslie’s voice. You find yourself so lost in these songs that when the guitar does enter the mix, it seems like an explosive burst, even though it’s just a single gingerly-strummed chord. It’s an exercise in reduction, reservedness, and deceiving looks. Fierce and unpolished, uncomplicated and bare, Pleasure is songwriting and guitar work in its purest form. One of my favorites of the year, and an absolute hidden treasure.

1 | Japanese Breakfast - Soft Sounds From Another Planet

If years could have mascots, 2017’s would be Michelle Zauner of Japanese Breakfast. Aside from listening to her throughout the year, seeing her live twice, and being my 4th most-played artist of 2017, she has become symbolic. A figure that represents my shifting personality, internal monologue and grappling with the reality of the world. I feel like she’s simultaneously speaking to me and for me. I’ve found a new voice through hers.

As much as I enjoyed every other album on this list, my “album of 2017” can’t be anything but Soft Sounds From Another Planet. There are sadder albums, deeper albums, dancier albums, and maybe even “better” albums that released this year, but Soft Sounds represents more than that. When I think about my life next week, or next year, or five years from now, I know that Japanese Breakfast will still be a part of it. Albums come and go. Phases, genres, and artists all rise and fall, but Soft Sounds is something that I can see venturing back to forever.

I know this because Michelle’s music has already been something that I’ve been able to return to all year. Her debut album Psychopomp was one of my best discoveries of 2016 and a record that drew me in from first listen. It’s not often that I order a vinyl record before I’ve even finished my first listen. Another distinction Zauner is honored with is being one of the first real “reviews” I’ve done for this website thanks to an early vinyl shipment. That said, between that review and my female-fronted profile of her in October, there’s not much more I feel like I can say about this record on a technical level.

Despite my hype, it’s not a record I expected to be my favorite until I sat down to really think about what has impacted me this year. I took a long break from Soft Sounds after listening to it endlessly for that review, and when I came back to it after multiple weeks, I was surprised to find that I knew every word. I’d memorized every melody, and internalized every beat. That’s something I can say about very few records, let alone one that I’ve only been listening to for five months.

Michelle posted her own year in review on Instagram, and even a cursory glance reveals an incredibly happy, humble, and wholesome person who deserves every ounce of success she has earned. To watch her shoot from “Underground Bandcamp Musician” to one of the biggest names in indie over the past year has been astounding to behold.

I remember hearing “Road Head” for the first time as she sampled her vocals and made a beat of them live on stage. I remember being transported by the 90’s bass-centered groove of “Diving Woman.” I remember watching her perform “Boyish” to a silent room as a disco ball twirled above the audience’s heads. I remember dancing to “Machinist” alongside Michelle as she jumped into the audience at our small Portland show. I remember finding solace in “Till Death” as the news seemed like a constant stream of cruel men winning things that they don’t deserve. I remember tearing up to the fan-like synth of “The Body Is a Blade” as childhood photos flashed on screen. I remember full-on crying to “This House” as Zauner recounted her life in scattered flashes following her mother’s death. This album is my 2017.

Michelle Zauner is the absolute best that humanity has to offer. A shining star of this world. A phenomenal voice, a gifted director, and a musical visionary. Her music makes me want to be a better person and improve myself just for the sake of attempting to one day achieve what she already has. Thank you for the music, and thank you for the voice Michelle, you are who I want to be.

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film-clown · 4 years

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Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker

So this is about... 3 months late? I usually post reviews a couple weeks following the film’s release, but the last few months have been nothing short of awful. Maybe this quarantine has a good side - I can finally finish writing this! As I write this at the end of March 2020, I have literally 90% of this review finished. I don’t know what held me back.

But here we go. My thoughts, discussions, and a generally unbiased review of Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker. Major spoilers ahead, obviously.

Many people continue to emphasise the fact that the Star Wars films that have been released under Disney are all horrible. Although I do agree to an extent, The Last Jedi did end up being one of my favourite Star Wars films, and the trilogy wasn’t all that bad. But, Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker surpassed my predictions in so many ways. It was hilarious, emotional, shocking, disappointing, and aggravating to the point where everything left me crying anyway. So what am I gonna do to cope? Write about it.

Straight off the bat, the most important point I will continue to emphasise for all my time - Finnpoe should’ve been canon. I will ALWAYS stand by this statement and there were numerous scenes that prove my point. They have such an incredibly tight bond and it continued to grow tighter throughout this film. Always having each other’s back no matter what, with such a deep-rooted connection. I wish they had kissed after the hug in the reunion at the end - it was perfect. I would also like to send out a special thank you to Mr. Oscar Isaac for genuinely speaking out about the injustice done towards finnpoe and overall LGBTQ+ representation. He was so incredibly vocal about how scared Disney is to have this happen, and how amazing and impactful it would have been if they were canon. John Boyega said a lot about finnpoe too during press, which made me incredibly happy to see such support from the actors. Not a lot of actors speak out against poor decisions made in their movies, which is why there’s almost no change for the good.

On the topic of ships that were done injustice, let’s talk about Reylo, shall we?

The topic of Rey and Ben as a couple is extremely controversial. Another reason it took a while for me to finish this review is because I’ve done a LOT of research for evidence from both sides of the argument. Due to the incest factor, I’ve looked into if Palpatine is 100% Anakin’s father, but everything I’ve found has been contradicted with another point, or just speculation. But it’s a very important topic, so I’m going to discuss it in a non-biased manner, and as if the incest of it all has not been confirmed or denied. Please do feel free to send over any sources, I’m always open to look at it and discuss! Because whether or not their bond is considered romantic, it’s intimate and has a deep meaning to it.

Okay, that being said: they deserved better. Ben did not deserve to die the moment he finally felt loved and finally made a decision that was his own. All his life he’s been nothing but tormented by Palpatine, been told what to do and always had such awful inner conflict. Rey saw that conflict, she chose to try her best to help through everything. You cannot excuse the fact that what Ben has done in his life has been awful, but what we can do is understand that the voice that’s been telling him to do all this hasn’t been himself. He took control, he fought (WITH A BLUE LIGHTSABER, HOLY SH*T) side by side with Rey. The moment they finally got to hold each other out of war, he smiled for the first time; and then he died. The whole point of this was to see him redeem himself, and although he did, death should not always equal redemption! His story was supposed to be different, he was supposed to live. They were supposed to have a happy ending. And after reading several conspiracies, I’m fully convinced that he was supposed to live. Ben Solo DESERVED to live and it is beyond me that they chose to end one of, if not the most important film saga in cinematic history by letting him die in the hands of his LITERAL soulmate. It’s painful, and traumatising for people to watch.

Not only was his death painful, it just didn’t make any sense! The whole point of this trilogy was that Rey and Ben were a dyad in the force, and it was shown through certain scenes from The Last Jedi, and verbally mentioned by both Ben and Palpatine.

“A dyad in the force. A power like life itself.” (Palpatine)

“We’re a dyad in the force; two that are one.” (Kylo Ren)

So why the hell did Ben die? They built up this bond and portrayed it for 3 fucking movies just to have Rey defeat Palpatine herself? This bond was supposed to bring balance to the force. Rey and Ben are literally two force-sensitive beings, who share the power of one, which is BY FAR the most complex and influential relationship between 2 individuals that could possibly exist in the galaxy and you’re telling me that they touched on this topic for 5 minutes at the end of the entire trilogy and then threw it all away by killing off Ben? Seriously?

They had the capability to defeat Palpatine TOGETHER, and that would have been one of the most acclaimed scenes in Star Wars history. The symbolism of a Jedi and the Supreme Leader of the First Order fighting side-by-side would’ve been the most ideal representation of balance in the force.

I’ve also heard several contradictions towards Reylo and how it’s an abusive pairing? As an abuse victim, I believe that these two were at war as the Resistance and the First Order. Did you expect them to hold hands in TFA and TLJ? Hopefully not. All the hurtful things they did were just out of spite towards each other, if anything. And I think this is where I’ll go on and disagree with the Reylo kiss. It just didn’t make sense! There was tension throughout the film and just because he became Ben Solo again, they’re suddenly in love? I don’t know, if they wanted the kiss to make sense, Kylo Ren should have become Ben Solo in TLJ, so TROS could have worked on their positive relationship. The kiss was purely fan service, and it clearly did not please people anyway.

Moving on, the idea of Palpatine returning is absolutely beyond me. What was the point of the celebration at the end of Return of the Jedi? What was the point of the entire last two trilogies if they were just going to bring him back for shock effect? What I can say though is that the shock effect did work, and that the climax of the film was BRILLIANT. I’m sorry, but the scene where his force lightning makes contact with all the resistance ships, the scene when Rey fights his lightning with two lightsabers (Ben should’ve been there, but anyway...), it was visually stunning and deserves only a bit of praise.

But Rey being a Palpatine is the most RIDICULOUS plot twist in Star Wars history. Not only was it a terrible attempt at shocking the crowd in a “No [Luke], I am your father” way, the whole point of Rey’s arc was that she is from nowhere. SHE IS SUPPOSED TO BE REY FROM NOWHERE. And now she’s Rey Palpatine. Force powers don’t have to be hereditary. Like she did the same mind-controlling thing that Obi-Wan did at one point so why couldn’t she have been a Kenobi? They showed her letting out force lightening so they could justify her bloodline, and I think this is one of the most severe flaws of the film.

The sidelining of Rose was so disappointing to me. Not only of Rose, Finn too. JJ Abrams literally confirmed that we were going to get Finn’s backstory and we never ended up getting it. All we got was him yelling Rey’s name another 40 times. And, the one person’s story which we got, aka Poe, turned out to be a drug dealer. They made a Hispanic man a drug dealer. I will never, ever forgive them for doing all of this.

Another problem was of how rushed this entire film was. An incredible amount of information to put in a 2 and 1/2 hour film, and it wasn’t done all that well. Just when the audience had genuinely believed that Chewie had died, we see that he’s alive. If you’re gonna do a death-scare, make it believable? 3PO getting his memory wiped but then getting it back from R2 was rushed as well; what was the point of the whole emotional “Taking one last look sir, at my friends” if he was just going to get his memory back anyway? Overdramatic AND unnecessary. Once again circling back to Reylo; they started off the film indicating no signs of romantic tensions but they ended up kissing at the end? You could pull the enemies-to-lovers card on this, which would make sense to an extent but also could not justify how rushed their romance was. I wouldn’t say that such twists in the film weren’t interesting, but if they carried out the concept to a point where it made sense, it would have been better. This was just unnecessary and ruined the film even more.

Back to Finnpoe once again; the idea that they were each given a heterosexual partner in this film AFTER all the hype and the shipping was done, is queerbaiting at its finest. Maybe that’s not the right word, but it’s something shitty. Jannah and Zorii had a lot of potential as their individual characters but were reduced to love interests because Disney is homophobic and it really, really is disgusting to me.

Since when does the Force do all these things. Resurrecting people? Being dead and still being able to force lift things? Not to say that such powers couldn’t have been discovered by each individual, but to have brought them into the film as a plot device rather than a power each respective character has developed during their arc, is once again, unnecessary.

After the release, the fans got all but concept art and excerpts of the film, and what COULD have been. Explanations of what was trying to be conveyed in the film. If you are forced to explain the film you have just released through interviews, it sucked. There’s a saying that as a filmmaker, you must “trust your audience”. Abrams trusted his audience, and all we could see were the flaws and missing details.

Generally, several flaws of this film spawned out of the petty film-feud between JJ Abrams and Rian Johnson. What Johnson tried to do in The Last Jedi was outstanding, and was a very unique concept compared to other Star Wars films. Sure, it had flaws, but a Star Wars film is not a Star Wars film without plot-holes and shitshows. But what Abrams attempted in The Rise Of Skywalker was to contradict almost everything in the previous film. The Force Awakens was outstanding, don’t get me wrong, so I couldn’t really say that Abrams isn’t good for Star Wars. But the two directors’ creative differences should NOT have gotten in the way of telling a good story. This trilogy had potential, and this film was beyond important for millions of fans of all ages.

Adam Driver’s performance was brilliant. It’s upsetting that he didn’t even get much to say in the 3rd act other than “Ow” but he managed to do so well even without dialogue. He didn’t even have to speak to show the true transition between Kylo Ren and Ben Solo, you could see it through the tenderness of the emotions portrayed by Driver overtime.

It’s upsetting that Domhnall Gleeson didn’t get half as much screentime as he did in The Last Jedi, and the way they finished General Hux’s character arc was honestly pathetic. For a character with such antagonism to be reduced to a plot device that dies like THAT? Regardless, still an amazing performance by Gleeson as per usual.

John Boyega and Oscar Isaac continue to be my favourite people ever. Their characters deserve so much better and I am GLAD that John is speaking his mind on social media, regardless of the... aftermath of it.

If I talk about the way that Han and Leia deserved better, I will not stop talking. Just know that is a point I want to get across. And, Rest in Peace Carrie Fisher. We love and miss you tremendously and it hurts me to know that had you been around, you would not have let this film be so awful.

To conclude this extremely lengthy and overdramatic review of Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker, I would like to push aside the numerous flaws of this film and try my best to look at the bright side of the disaster. The rainbow after the storm. Whatever.

I believe that this film was really good if you disconnect it from the rest of the franchise. For round 3 of this film in theatres, I went with a friend who had only seen The Force Awakens and about half of The Last Jedi; and she loved it. It’s definitely not a clear judgement, but I tried to look at her perspective and I got it. Disconnect the story, the expectations, and the background of each character which inevitably leads to expectations of the end of their character arc. It’s difficult, and honestly stupid to look at it like this, but as someone who just wants to smile during a film; I think there’s no fun in hate. Most of the effects in this film were gorgeous (let’s forget force ghost Luke). Take that, the larger-than-life scale of events, the emotions, the impeccable score, I believe it to be nothing short of a cinematic masterpiece. I’ll take the tomatoes you throw at me because I have to admit, watching this film in theatre was an experience I’d love to have again. I cheered my ass off when Ben pulled out the blue lightsaber in the climax.

I don’t think I could ever be a real film critic solely because I will always find some way to enjoy the film no matter how awful it is.

As usual, honorary mention to the phenomenal score that is present in every Star Wars films. Hats off to John Williams, thank you for making the audience cry for 40+ years. We love you!

It’s 5:45am as I’m finishing this off and as a side note, since I’m overly-emotional, I’d like to say something. The hatred and conflict created by The Rise Of Skywalker has blinded us of our true love for what Star Wars once was. Star Wars is a film saga about hope, love, faith, and the way (almost) every film has managed to convey it, always brings tears to my eyes. It upsets me to see it, and I hope that everyone slowly grasps back onto their once-love for Star Wars.

May the force be with you.

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graemereviewsdisneymovies · 6 years

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Fantasia (1940)

I thought this review would be short and then I just sort of kept writing. Sorry about that.

The third film in the Disney Animated Canon is the first anthology film, and to this day the longest feature film Disney has ever released. Early Disney films hang around hour, Renaissance films hang around 90 minutes, and Revival/modern era films generally around 100 minutes. The original and restored cuts of Fantasia are 126 minutes (just over 2 hours), and it was originally released with a 15 minute intermission. Similar to Snow White, this one seems like just as much an experiment as a feature film, as it’s essentially a series of music videos for classical music. It began life as The Sorcerer’s Apprentice, which was meant to be a Silly Symphonies short that would be a comeback for Mickey Mouse. Then the budget went past what Disney would make back from a short, so Disney animated 6 more sequences, all set to classical music, and threw in live action scenes of music critic Deems Taylor as a Master of Ceremonies and the Philadelphia Orchestra (who recorded all the music except The Sorcerer’s Apprentice). It works out to be significantly longer than either of the preceding films in the canon, at 2 hours.

This is the first Disney Animated Canon film I’d seen at all as a child - I saw the Night On Bald Mountain short at school once, although I had very faint memories of it and I have no idea why we were watching it. And my teacher called it Night On Bare Mountain, for some reason, I specifically remember that. Also my childhood association with a few pieces of classical music may have affected my opinions on a few of the recordings.

After Taylor explains the idea behind the film, the first piece of music beings. He shows back up between every segment of the movie to introduce each piece of music and what the animation will do.

Bach’s Toccata and Fugue in D Minor (the generic creepy castle pipe organ song) opens on footage of the orchestra, mostly in silhouette, against brightly lit coloured backgrounds. A few minutes in, it turns to strange abstract animation, which continues to the end of the song. At the end of the song, it returns to the orchestra. There’s not really much to say about this part. The music is good, the visuals are nice, but it’s not particularly memorable.

Taylor introduces the next piece with a comment that’s become hilarious in hindsight. I thought it was dry sarcasm while I was watching the movie. While explaining the history of the suite, he says that “the ballet it’s from isn’t very popular, but the suite is”. He’s talking about Tchaikovsky’s Nutcracker. Apparently the ballet was a huge flop on initial release, and didn’t become the Christmas classic it is today until the late 60’s, which also explains why the animation has absolutely nothing to do with the story. It follows fairies, dancing plants, fish, and the changing seasons as brought on by the fairies, who show up again at the end. The dancing flowers were particularly memorable and fun to watch.

Dukas’ The Sorcerer’s Apprentice is the most iconic short, starring Mickey Mouse as the titular apprentice, who enchants a broom to carry water for him, despite a lack of control over his magic. He marches around with the broom a few times, falls asleep, conducts the music while pointing at the starts and causing them to twinkle brighter in his dream, and wakes up to find the room flooded. He murders the broom with an axe, but the broom reforms and every splinter or broom forms a whole new one and each one carries more water. The sorcerer, who is not named on screen, but is officially named Yen Sid (real creative name, Disney) wakes up, comes downstairs, fixes the problem, and swats Mickey with the broom. This one feels most like a Silly Symphonies short, because that’s what it was originally meant to be. Probably the most memorable overall, compared to the other shorts which mostly have a few memorable shots or scenes. The music is good, the animation is good, and it introduced a redesign of Mickey that’s still in use today.

Before Stravinsky’s Rite Of Spring, Mickey walks up to the conductor, tugs on his coat tail, says hi, and leaves. The lighting allows Mickey to appear entirely in silhouette, hiding the fact that animation was decades away from Roger Rabbit style integration with live action. Then someone knocks over the chimes, which is meant to be some kind of comic relief, I guess.

The Rite Of Spring opens on the Earth forming, and has a spectacular sequence with lava and volcanoes followed by what was probably at the time a believed to be scientifically accurate depiction of the rise and fall of the Dinosaurs. A T-Rex fights a Stegosaurus, while the other dinosaurs watch as if they’re about to film the fight and put it on youtube or something, and then all leave when the Stegosaurus loses. They look almost comically disappointed by the ending, as if they’d lost a small bet over the winner instead of just watched a death. Then all the vegetation dies, they try to migrate, they all die, and the Earth floods. Stravinsky was the only composer alive to see his music put to animation in Fantasia, and he hated the sequence. I didn’t. The lava and the dinosaur fight are both great, and I’m not familiar with The Rite Of Spring so the rearrangement of the piece doesn’t annoy me.

After this, Deems Taylor announces an intermission. In some cut’s, anyway. I’ll get into that later. Following the intermission, there’s a short jam session, and then we’re introduced to The Soundtrack, a stylized representation of the soundtrack on a reel of film.

Beethoven's Pastoral Symphony follows a group of mythological creatures holding a festival for Bacchus, which is interrupted when Zeus (looking an awful lot like his later appearance in Hercules, but blue) decides to throw lightning at everyone for no discernable reason other than being a dick. The animation is nice, but this short is better known because of the censorship of one of the centaurs, who has been cut from the film though a combination of pan and scan zoom ins, re-editing, and being completely erased from one scene, on the grounds that it was… racist. Really racist. Starting with the 1969 re-release, Fantasia has been completely blackface donkey centaur free, which is nice. This segment was good. The music is nice, but the animation wasn’t a huge standout to me.

Ponchielli’s Dance of the Hours was, to be completely honest, my least favorite short. It’s about dancing animals, focusing for most of the short on Hippos and Alligators. There’s nothing wrong with it, it just didn’t stick out to me the way some of them did. The music was good, the animation was good, there’s nothing actually wrong with it, it was just not as good as the rest of the shorts.

The final short, and my personal favorite, is the only one that consists of more than one piece of classical music. Mussorgsky’s Night On Bald Mountain and Schubert’s Ave Maria share a short, which contains some stellar animation and great creepy imagery. Chernabog the demon (heavily implied to be Satan himself by Deems Taylor in his introduction for the short, but he’s since been identified as an obscure Slavic deity, because… reasons) is suitably macabre and creepy, and most of the short consists of him being worshipped by ghosts and skeletons, before the church bells ring, the spooky scary followers go back to the graveyards, and Chernabog is forced back into the mountain by the bells and the sunlight. A procession of people walking through the forest carrying candles sings Ave Maria, signalling the coming of the morning. The music is great, the animation is great, and I’m probably biased because I love horror movies but I just really like this part of the movie.

Fantasia has been re-edited several times. Besides the removal of that one racist centaur, there’s been re-releases that remove or trim the live action sections, resulting in Deems Taylor being dubbed due to lost audio in some of his restored scenes in some cuts of the movie.

On the subject of audio, it was the first commercial film released in Stereo Sound. The original release boasted the “Fantasound” speaker system. Given that the movie relies so much on visuals and sound, I feel like I haven’t been able to truly appreciate it, given that I watched it on a fairly small screen, wearing headphones. It deserves to be watched in at least 5.1 Surround (or if you have the setup for it, there was a blu-ray release with 7.2 Surround). I, as a broke college student, do not have a large screen tv, or a surround sound system, but I imagine that they would add a lot to the film. However, it’s currently in the Disney Vault with the exception of Netflix.

The animation also improves dramatically overall compared to Snow White and Pinocchio. Rite Of Spring and Night On Bald Mountain in particular have scenes that are vast improvements on the previous films. I would love to see a theatrical re-release of this.

It was meant to be updated and changed every year, with segments being taken out and replaced with new ones, but this idea was scrapped when it didn’t do well at the box office - World War II cutting off distribution to Europe didn’t help it’s chances - despite being mostly critically acclaimed on release. Later re-releases helped it to gain its current acclaim, though it’s still considered somewhat of a mixed bag, and it’s aimed more at adults or teenagers than the rest of the canon. The usual target age group of Disney is likely to just get bored for most of the runtime, then terrified by Night On Bald Mountain. It eventually received a sequel, Fantasia 2000, in 1999, 54 years later. If we’re all lucky I’ll get around to reviewing the sequel faster than Disney got around to making it. So worth a watch if you haven’t seen it, I guess, although I can’t say I’ll be rewatching it any time soon unless I’m given the chance to see it with a really good audio setup.

Also, apparently the 2010 Nick Cage movie The Sorcerer’s Apprentice is supposed to be an expansion of the scene of the same name from Fantasia so I guess this is the only disney movie that can claim have a remake starring Nick Cage. And, I guess, the first to get a live action remake?

#Fantasia #Disney Animated Canon

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daleisgreat · 5 years

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Then, Now, Forever: The Evolution of WWE’s Women’s Division

If you have been keeping up with WWE the past few years you would have noticed its bigger emphasis on women’s wrestling since the 2015 ‘Diva Revolution’ (which then got re-branded the ‘Women’s Evolution’ in 2016) than in any other period throughout its history. Since 2015 there have now been more active women on the roster, more active women’s rivalries, women closing out several PPVs including the biggest one of the year for the first time ever with 2019’s Wrestlemania and the first ever installments of Hell in a Cell, Royal Rumble, Iron Man, Money in the Bank match-ups and an entire PPV in 2018 featuring all-women talent. Last year WWE finally got around for the first time in many years releasing an entire home video focusing entirely on women to honor the accomplishments of its lady grapplers throughout the years with 2018’s Then, Now, Forever: The Evolution of WWE’s Women’s Division (trailer). It is a shame WWE has gone so long without an entirely devoted home video to its women wrestlers. WWE use to do a yearly swimsuit/beach retreat video in the early part of the century, but they quickly dissolved that after a few years and the only female athlete I recall to get the marquee documentary/match collection home video release was Lita only a couple years into her run which is unfathomable when you think about all the top women from WWE over the years and the countless home video releases. WWE attempts to make up for their wrongdoings with this three disc DVD featuring nine hours of mini-documentaries highlighting 22 women wrestlers throughout the decades and a match from each woman that gets the spotlight. To be fair though, the past few years WWE has been putting more of their documentary and interviews/specials on their streaming service, WWE Network, over home video exclusives the past few years and on WWE Network there has been many documentaries and specials dedicated to past and present women wrestlers.

It is a bit generous to label the two-to-three minute features as ‘mini-docs’ and are more abbreviated interviews with the ladies. With only two-to-three minutes of interview time it is understandable why some of the women interviewed do not attempt to try and go over their entire career and instead either make some quick generic statements about their legacy in women’s wrestling or instead focus on one big moment in their career. When they do the latter, it makes more of a impact like how Molly Holly talks about how big a deal it was to get shaved bald at Wrestlemania XX and Natalya reflecting on her opportunity to steal the show with Charlotte Flair at the first NXT TakeOver. Some of the more controversial women of WWE’s past are either not highlighted at all in interview form or only featured in matches against other spotlighted women. The legendary Fabulous Moolah’s controversial allegations of her past surfacing in recent years results in no archived interviews featuring her which is kind of a shocker considering the icon status her and Mae Young got whenever WWE brought them out for a legends segment from the late 90s to the late 00s. Moolah is featured in a couple matches however. Once against Wendi Richter in an unearthed MSG house show bout and in a 10-women Survivor Series rules match with a bunch of classic talent I always heard about, but rarely seen in action such as Rockin’ Robin, Velvet McIntyre, the Glamour Girls and the Jumping Bomb Angels.

A lot of the famous names from the ‘Attitude Era’ and ‘Diva-Search Era’ stars that earned a rep for WWE featuring them more as showpieces instead of being remembered for their in-ring talents do not get the mini-doc treatment such as Sunny, Chyna, Sable, Debra, Terri, Eve, Christy Hemme, Ashley Massaro and Kelly Kelly. I was also surprised that a few legit in-ring talents got snubbed from the mini-doc treatment like Asuka, Jacquelyn and Jazz for some reason. A couple of these names make cameos in the 2018 Women’s Royal Rumble match and Chyna’s total squash over Ivory at Wrestlemania X-7 is featured, but for the most part these women are absent from the interviews. Of the 22 ‘spotlights’ only four of them are from the pre-Attitude-era consisting of Mae Young, Wendi Richter, Sherri Martel and Madusa/Alundra Blayze. I was delighted to see a lot of talent from the underrated 2001-2006 women’s division era get showcased and interviewed like Trish, Lita, Molly Holly, Ivory and Victoria. The expected breakout stars from the ‘Women’s Evolution’ era are all spotlighted with all the ‘Four Horsewomen’ and their successors like Alexa Bliss and Ronda Rousey. I am kind of cringing over Carmella’s inclusion in the spotlights since her Money in the Bank assist wins and later championship reign with help from one Mr. Ellsworth was the only dark cloud over the ‘Women’s Evolution’ from the past four years. Of the 22 matches featured in the collection, all but several are worthy inclusions. A part of me would like to see another collection of standout women matches from 1985-95 because I cannot recall too many before and the four featured here are surprisingly good. Do not miss out on the aforementioned 1987 Survivor Series match and especially do not skip over the 1995 RAW match of Alundra Blayze/Bull Nakano. They pull off all kinds of insane spots that had me reeled in for the entire match while another part of me was shocked WWE put this type of match on TV in 1995.

WWE included a lot of first time ever match-ups with the women in this collection. Some of them are awesome like the first ever women’s Royal Rumble in 2018 and the first ever women’s Elimination Chamber match that same year. Others are underwhelming/disappointing considering the talent involved like the first women’s Cage Match with Lita and Victoria and the first women’s Hell in a Cell match with Sasha and Charlotte that has one of the most lackluster table spots of all time. NXT got the ball rolling with the ‘Women’s Evolution’ and I was thrilled to see a few NXT matches in here with standouts like Paige/Emma, Natalya/Charlotte and my personal all-time favorite women’s match featuring Sasha/Bayley in a Iron Man match back when we loved both of them and it seemed impossible that the two would later somehow seem capable of engaging in the worst rivalry of 2018. Luckily, better horsewomen matches are included like Lynch, Charlotte & Sasha tearing it up in their stellar triple threat at WrestleMania 32. This collection wraps up with Ronda Rousey’s debut WWE match from WrestleMania 34 in her surprise show-stealing mixed tag with Kurt Angle against Stephanie & Triple H last year. It serves as a great teaser at the year of Ronda in WWE where she put the ‘Women’s Evolution’ into overdrive with her absolutely stunning first year in the business. This is a mostly gratifying collection of matches from WWE’s history of women’s wrestling and while they could have done a better job with a little more depth in the spotlights like they did with their True Giants home video release, this is still a pretty solid overall compilation at most of the best talent and memorable matches that WWE’s women have delivered. Easy recommendation for Then, Now, Forever: The Evolution of WWE’s Women’s Division. July 25, 2019 Update: - A little over a week after posting this I noticed on Amazon out of nowhere a new DVD dropped chronicling Lita & Trish's storied rivalry. I had no idea this was coming and timed this entry nicely with Trish & Lita: Best Friends Better Enemies (trailer) releasing a week after I originally posted this entry! I ordered it right when I noticed its listing just a day or two after its releasing so make sure come back here down the line for my thoughts! Good on WWE for dedicating another home video for some of the best women to grace its ring! Past Wrestling Blogs Best of WCW Clash of Champions Best of WCW Monday Nitro Volume 2 Best of WCW Monday Nitro Volume 3 Biggest Knuckleheads Bobby The Brain Heenan Daniel Bryan: Just Say Yes Yes Yes DDP: Positively Living Dusty Rhodes WWE Network Specials ECW Unreleased: Vol 1 ECW Unreleased: Vol 2 ECW Unreleased: Vol 3 Eric Bishoff: Wrestlings Most Controversial Figure Fight Owens Fight: The Kevin Owens Story For All Mankind Goldberg: The Ultimate Collection Impact Wresting Presents: Best of Hulk Hogan Its Good to Be the King: The Jerry Lawler Story The Kliq Rules Ladies and Gentlemen My Name is Paul Heyman Legends of Mid South Wrestling Macho Man: The Randy Savage Story Memphis Heat NXT: From Secret to Sensation NXT Greatest Matches Vol 1 OMG Vol 2: Top 50 Incidents in WCW History OMG Vol 3: Top 50 Incidents in ECW History Owen: Hart of Gold RoH Supercard of Honor 2010-Present ScoobyDoo Wrestlemania Mystery Scott Hall: Living on a Razors Edge Sting: Into the Light Straight Outta Dudley-ville: Legacy of the Dudley Boyz Straight to the Top: Money in the Bank Anthology Superstar Collection: Zach Ryder TLC 2017 TNA Lockdown 2005-2016 Top 50 Superstars of All Time Tough Enough: Million Dollar Season True Giants Ultimate Fan Pack: Roman Reigns Ultimate Warrior: Always Believe War Games: WCWs Most Notorious Matches Warrior Week on WWE Network Wrestlemania 3: Championship Edition Wrestlemania 28-Present The Wrestler (2008) Wrestling Road Diaries Too Wrestling Road Diaries Three: Funny Equals Money Wrestlings Greatest Factions WWE Network Original Specials First Half 2015 WWE Network Original Specials Second Half 2015 WWE Network Original Specials First Half 2016 WWE Network Original Specials Second Half 2016 WWE Network Original Specials First Half 2017

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wbwest · 7 years

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New Post has been published on http://www.williambrucewest.com/2017/08/25/west-week-ever-pop-culture-review-82517/

West Week Ever: Pop Culture In Review - 8/25/17

In movie news, there was quite the controversial casting this week, as the color lines blurred for some comic book adaptations. First up, it was announced that English actor Ed Skrein would be portraying Japanese character Ben Daimio in the upcoming Hellboy reboot. Now, according to what I’ve read, Daimio’s Japanese heritage heavily influences the character, so this whitewashing of the character doesn’t seem to be in the best interest of the character. I mean, after the problems with whitewashing in Doctor Strange, Ghost in the Shell, Aloha, The Great Wall, and Ni’ihau, you’d think Hollywood would avoid shit like this. Yes, movies are made to make money, but it’s not like Skrein is a bankable star worth slotting into the role, so it doesn’t make a lot of sense. Usually this is done for the film’s STARS. Damon, Johansson, Stone. This is a secondary character, so it really wouldn’t have hurt them to seek out an Asian actor. Normally I’m just like “Well, Hollywood’s gonna Hollywood”, but this decision just doesn’t make a ton of sense.

Next up, 24: Legacy’s Anna Diop has been cast as Starfire in Warner Bros’ Titans series, slated to air on DC’s upcoming digital service. Some folks are saying they should’ve cast a Latina, but she’s gonna either be painted or CGied in orange, so it’s not like it’s gonna matter at the end of the day. Personally, if they wanted authenticity, I think they should’ve cast an actual orange alien princess. Right now there are just too many unknowns for me to get excited about this. I mean, DC announced the digital service without a lot of information. What’s gonna be on it? What will it cost? How much of the DC library will be available to be housed on it? As for Titans, this is the show TNT passed on. Ya know, the home of such illustrious shows as The Librarians and The Last Ship. I mean, they’re basically just about a notch up from what we got in the 90s from Universal’s Action Pack lineup. If Titans couldn’t fit anywhere on that schedule, then it probably just isn’t “ready for primetime” yet.

Speaking of aimless Warner Bros decisions, they announced 2 different Joker movies this week. First up is an origin tale, directed by Todd Phillips of Old School fame, and produced by Martin Scorsese. Hmm, one of those things is not like the other. I mean, why would Scorsese touch something helmed by the dude who gave us Road Trip? And who even WANTS a Joker origin story? First of all, it’s reportedly not even going to be part of the DCEU, so why confuse the audience with a story that won’t even really “count” in the grand scheme of things? Nobody needs a standalone origin of a take on a character they’ll likely never see again. This is just as foolish as Sony’s Don’t-Look-For-Spider-Man-To-Appear Venom movie. Next, the guys behind This Is Us (SO hot right now!) and Crazy, Stupid, Love are working on a Bonnie & Clyde-style Joker and Harley film, with Jared Leto and Margot Robbie reprising their roles from Suicide Squad. Since this would sort of negate the empowerment that Harley gained by the end of Squad, it’s believed that this actually means that the planned Gotham City Sirens film, also slated to star Robbie, is now dead. Honestly, I could do without either of these movies. I found Leto’s take on Joker to be…interesting, but Less is More with that character. Plus, I don’t really think the DCEU would be strengthened by this sort of movie. It’s not the world-building they need to be doing right now, as they haven’t even figured out the core of their star characters like Batman and Superman yet.

In TV news, Christopher Sebela’s comic Heartthrob has been optioned as a TV series by Felix Culpa – a production company launched by actress/Elvis’s granddaughter Riley Keough. Now, comics are optioned every day, and the final product never comes to fruition, but I hope this series sees the light of day. I’m actually a big fan of the comic, which is published by Oni Press. Set in the late 70s, it focuses on Callie, who’s received a heart transplant while the process is still in its infancy. Given a new lease on life, but still told she’s basically living on borrowed time, she decides to change her life when she meets Mercer, a charming guy with a shady side. She immediately falls for him, and he teaches her how to be bad, like rob banks and commit other crimes. She gets off on the rush. Pretty soon, however, she realizes that Mercer isn’t real. No, he’s actually the ghost of the guy whose heart is now in Callie. So, it’s a Bonnie & Clyde story where Clyde’s calling the shots from the afterlife. The book is published in “seasons”, so the first 5-issue miniseries wrapped up back in early 2016, while season 2 is hitting stores now. If you’re looking for a new comic not from the Big Two, I highly recommend it.

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In music news, Taylor Swift did a whole social blitz to announce that her next album would be called Reputation, and would be released Nov 10th. On top of that, the first single was released last night, with rumors that the video will premiere at Sunday’s MTV Video Music Awards. Ya know, the same awards hosted my Taylor’s enemy Katy Perry. Yeah, that should be pretty interesting to watch. Anyway, the new song is called “Look What You Made Me Do”, and I’m not too impressed. It lacks a real hook, while the chorus itself is basically spoken. I feel like it has all the ingredients for a great song, but it’s not living up to its full potential. If this is an indicator of what to expect on Reputation, though, I’ll admit I’m curious. It can’t be worse than Perry’s Witness.

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Speaking of Katy Perry, we got the premiere of her video for “Swish Swish”, which was reportedly her diss track against Taylor Swift. After a lot of backtracking and sucking up, though, it seems Katy wants to put that feud behind her. That’s why this horrible video does everything it can to take the bite out of a song that was never really that biting to begin with. I mean, just look at it – Molly Shannon? Terry Crews? Even Nicki Minaj was clearly CGied in, as I’m sure she didn’t wanna be anywhere near this shitshow. The sad thing about the Perry/Swift feud is that Katy bailed on it the minute she realized the Swifties were a more powerful lobby than she had thought. Nobody was feeling her SNL performances, and Witness didn’t exactly fly off the shelves. She realized that she can’t really survive by making enemies, so suddenly she became conciliatory to save her ass. Plus, it’s kinda lame that this blood feud started just because Taylor stole a few of Katy’s dancers for her tour. Anyway, you’ll never get those 6 minutes back. You’re welcome.

I had the pleasure of joining my buddy Zac for his new podcast, The Zac Shipley Show. He’s treating these first few episodes as pilots for ideas he’s wanted to try, so our ep was called Streaming Pile, where we talked about the worst things we could find on streaming services. I talked about a Star Trek: Voyager episode where formerly perky pixie Kes returns all middle-aged and bitter. You should check it out, and give a listen to his other episodes while you’re there!

Song of the Week

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I’ve been a big Maren Morris fan since she released “My Church”, and I was really into her next single, “80s Mercedes”. With this song she continues not to disappoint, as I love the groove on this thing. Listen to the bassline. It’s not a dance song, yet you can do a MEAN two-step to it. Hell, I think you could even do a casual version of The Hustle to it. This will definitely go to #1 given time.

Things You Might Have Missed This Week

NBC’s planned reboot of Xena: Warrior Princess – which would’ve featured a full-on lesbian relationship between her and Gabrielle – is officially dead, as they said “it didn’t warrant a reboot”. Man, if only other studios would realize this about some of their projects…

Director James Gunn mentioned in a Q & A session that the 3rd Guardians of the Galaxy film would set up the next 10-20 years of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Yup, you’re just now realizing your own mortality. I’ll give you a minute to deal with that.

Speaking of Gunn, he’s attached to write the pilot for (and possibly direct) a reboot of 70s series Starsky & Hutch. This adaptation is supposed to be similar in tone to CBS’s upcoming S.W.A.T. and not comedic in tone like the 2004 Ben Stiller & Owen Wilson movie.

Surprising every critic in Hollywood, Netflix has renewed the maligned comedy Friends From College for a second season.

Known for controversial publicity stunts, Alamo Drafthouse is reportedly organizing a Clowns Only screening of the new adaptation of Stephen King’s It.

We got a new poster for Thor: Ragnarok. So many colors!

Michael K. Williams has reportedly been cut from the Star Wars Han Solo film, as Ron Howard’s reshoot schedule conflicted with another role that Williams had accepted.

There are, like, 8 different Knight Rider reboot treatments floating around Hollywood, but the latest rumor is that one of those productions is looking at John Cena as Michael Knight, with Kevin Hart as the voice of K.I.T.T. Of course, it would be a comedic adaptation, a la the popular Jump Street franchise.

Super Troopers 2, the sequel to one of the most overrated films I’ve ever seen, will hit theaters April 20th, 2018.

Anne Hathaway and Rebel Wilson will star in Nasty Women, which is a female-led reboot of the Michael Caine/Steve Martin classic Dirty Rotten Scoundrels.

Independence Day: Resurgence‘s Jessie T Usher will star in Son of Shaft, with Samuel L. Jackson potentially reprising his role as John Shaft (from the 2000 reboot film), the nephew of the original John Shaft, played by Richard Roundtree, who is also in talks to join the movie. Man, that gave me a headache.

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Always on the cutting edge, here’s Sesame Street’s parody of 2017’s song of the summer, “Despacito”

According to the creators, the Netflix series Stranger Things will most likely end after its fourth season

The actress formerly known as “Andrea Zuckerman”, Gabrielle Carteris, has been re-elected to a 2-year term as the President of the Screen Actors Guild-American Federation of Television and Radio Artists (SAG-AFTRA)

Ryan Gosling will host the season premiere of Saturday Night Live, with musical guest Jay-Z, on Sept 30th.

Jamie Bell is developing a Jumper TV series, based on the 2008 film about teleporters

Suicide Squad 2 is reportedly being fast tracked, but I hope they fast track it right into the garbage. I mean, I enjoyed the first one, but I don’t need a sequel.

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I like Nick Kroll, even though I never saw even a second of Kroll Show. Anyway, he’s got a new animated series about puberty called Big Mouth coming to Netflix and after watching this teaser I am ON BOARD!

We’re a month away from the premiere of Star Trek: Discovery, and it was revealed that it will be rated TV-MA, for Mature Audiences. Now, it doesn’t mean there’ll be tits and phasers, but it does mean they can tell more complex stories. That said, I still feel like they don’t truly understand the source material.

After a scathing essay from his ex-wife went public, accusing him of adultery and other generally shitty behavior to women, Joss Whedon went underground and the fan site, Whedonesque, shut down after 15 years.

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We got a new teaser for Netflix’s The Punisher. With the rate I’m getting through these Marvel shows, I’ll probably get to it just before Evie goes off to Hogwarts.

There was a national solar eclipse this week, which was the first occurrence since 1918. I’m sure you might’ve heard something about it. It was kind of a big deal. Folks were pimping out special cardboard glasses on Craigslist for insane amounts of money, and the American President made news by looking directly into it. It seems that it had a strange effect on different folks. For example, Netflix viewership went down 10% as people went outside to view the phenomenon. Not everyone understood what was going on, bless their hearts. At work, a frantic parent called in and said “Y’all watching the news? You hear about this eclipse? Is it serious?!” Apparently she thought it posed some sort of danger to her kids and the school. No, ma’am. It’s just a beautiful sky ballet. Anyway, the eclipse was EVERYWHERE. I didn’t get to see totality, but it was still nice to stand outside for a bit on a nice day. What am I saying? I hate the outdoors! Well, it was nice to not have to work for a few minutes. You couldn’t escape the Eclipse Fever at the start of the week, so that’s why the Solar Eclipse of 2017 had the West Week Ever.

#80s #Batman #Comics #Country #DC #Indie #Knight Rider #Marvel #Movies #Music #Politics #Pop #Race #Star Trek #Star Wars #Television #West Week Ever #Wrestling

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jeffgrant4real · 5 years

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Thoughts on Last Night’s Game of Thrones

Monday, May 13, 2019 5:50 PM

SPOILER WARNING FOR HBO’S GAME OF THRONES UP THROUGH SEASON 8 EPISODE 5 “THE BELLS” I’M WRITING THIS IN ALL CAPITAL LETTERS BECAUSE I’M ABOUT TO TALK ABOUT SPOILER STUFF LOOKOUT

I had other writing plans but since I seem to be unable to think about anything other than last night’s Game of Thrones today I’m going to have to write a tumblr post. I need this. I’m doing this for ME.

I need to start off by saying I LIKED THE EPISODE. I think it was a good episode of the show we’ve been watching for 8 years. I think it fits with what it’s been about since the beginning, namely power and how it affects people. I had a similar experience watching this to the one I had watching The Last Jedi where I thought it was pretty great and immediately afterwards dove into complaint after complaint on the internet, like you do. When this happens you doubt your initial response, but I want to explore what I was feeling while watching it, before heading into the echo chamber.

Okay, I get being disappointed to see Dany turn into a mad queen, but like... hasn’t this possibility been floated on every other episode since the pilot? This was always a strong potential ending. Was it what we wanted to see? No. Was it foreshadowed nearly every time Emilia Clarke was on screen? I think so! I think it was, y’all. This card was always on the table. It’s in the DNA of the show.

Emilia Clarke’s portrayal of Daenerys Targaryen is at this point iconic. She’s become a symbol of female power and all this. It’s awesome and-- HOLD UP, this character was invented in the 90s and this ending was probably thought up not long after that. She was designed to go mad before she became a hero and pop culture representation of feminism and stuff in the last 10 years, way before anybody named their babies after her or got tattoos of her face on their weird backs. All I’m saying is people are getting mad at this?? What show do they think they’re watching, PAT THE AUDIENCE ON THE BACK HAPPY HOUR? (Should I trademark that title?)

Also, there are still strong female characters on this show who will probably be in charge when this thing is over, just saying.

I haven’t read much more than the first 200 pages of George R.R. Martin’s first book in the Song of Ice and Fire series, BUT the seeds were sewn even back then. I’m talking about the famed R+L=J internet equation. I was the first to discover this... Now, I’m lying but if you’ve heard of the long held theory about Jon being a secret Targaryen, it’s right there in the text if you’re paying attention. I mean, read the title of the series, A Song of Ice and Fire, and turn your brain on (it’s kind of a clue).

Now, I don’t know if you picked up on this while watching the show, but JON AND DANY GOT TOGETHER... They fell in love. It was so so lovely, right? Oh no, but then they found out HE WAS HER NEPHEW. That’s kind of complicated! Jon had to think about it but decided that sleeping with his aunt just wasn’t him. He’s a noble guy.

This made Dany SAD and on top of this she lost so many of her dearest friends and supporters, people who were always there to keep her worst impulses in check. Oh, and 2 of her dragons died, who were like children to her. She really was stripped of so much over the last few episodes. Yes, it happened quickly (as everything on this show does lately), but from what I saw, the groundwork was laid for her turn.

Now, I know the R+L=J thing didn’t predict the 2 would fall in love, but it DID create an obvious conflict between the 2 for the Iron Throne, even if Jon never wanted it. We know Dany wants it above all things. This tension was built into the story from the beginning and something had to come of it. What are the options here? They stay together as a couple and rule? They figure out a way to work together in spite of the, you know, awkwardness? Seemed like a rotten situation, if you ask me.

Look, you can watch things however you want and you can react however you feel, all I’m saying is this is the way THIS show was always gonna go. The popular dragon show about the dangers of power was going to have a dragon destroy a city. It wasn’t random. It was intentional. In many ways it’s the whole point of the story. It’s the message it is trying to convey, to be careful who you root for. And sometimes “good guys” are the ones we should fear. We are supposed to be bothered by this tragedy. It’s supposed to hurt. Don’t just be mad about it because you think the show messed up or that the creators gave up or don’t care. Examine why YOU are bothered by the way things played out. If you just think it sucks Dany went bad, do yourself a favor and think about why you feel that way. You’ve invested so much time into this story, at least pay a little more attention to what it’s trying to tell you. The show wants you to engage with it.

It isn’t for empty shock. Sit with it.

This is why I liked this episode. I was expecting a mostly-safe fan service ending for this show and they went in another bold direction. They showed us new sides of characters we thought we knew when many of us hoped they’d just coast in for a safe, predictable landing. And the fact that the groundwork has been laid since the very beginning makes it all the more satisfying. To me at least.

And one more thing, consider Star Wars. Consider Darth Vader. In many fan’s eyes he is seen as the best character that whole galaxy has to offer. And he’s the BAD GUY. He has a depth that many of the one-note good guys will never have. This has often been a complaint about both Dany and Jon, that they are the least interesting characters on the show. But then they dared to turn one of them into a villain right at the end. That’s not nothing.

This show is going to end in a week and maybe some of us will never watch it again (I don’t know you). But we’re always going to remember how Dany’s story ended and it’s going to change the way we look at the show and her character forever. This will now always be an important wrinkle in her journey. It changes the whole series in a major way. We thought we were watching a hero’s journey but it was actually a villain’s.

To sum it up, my chances of a rewatch have gone up. I like this show slightly more than I did before I watched this episode. Thanx.

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chorusfm · 7 years

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Today we’re happy to bring you part two of our “In the Spotlight” feature. We’ve got another group of 25 artists that we think are worthy of your time and ears. Our contributors have made their picks, put together blurbs, and pulled out recommended songs.

If you missed part one, you can find that here.

MUNA

by Jason Tate

MUNA are a three piece out of Los Angeles that craft a dark synth-pop sound right in my musical wheelhouse. They released their debut LP, About U, earlier this year and it’s been in constant rotation as the weather shifts in Rain City between annoyingly wet and cold to slightly less annoyingly cold. The pulsating percussion over well-weaved vocal melodies mixes perfectly with the season. It’s the kind of music that can sit in the background at a party and at one point or another you’ll find all of the guests nodding along, or it can be experienced between headphones alone in a dark room with a stiff drink.

Recommended Track: “Winterbreak”

RIYL: Lany, Banks, Fickle Friends

Mandolin Orange

by Craig Manning

Playful, tongue-in-cheek band name aside, Mandolin Orange write and perform some of the most beautifully understated and intimate music out there these days. A folk duo featuring singer/songwriters Andrew Marlin and Emily Frantz, Mandolin Orange have been around since 2010, but have really started to pick up steam in the past two years. Their most recent record, last year’s Blindfaller, was a socially-conscious set of folk tunes that rings even more true after what happened in November. But the band’s crowning achievement at this point is 2015’s Such Jubilee, a record that has sneakily become one of the most-played albums in my vinyl collection. Marlin and Frantz’s songs are gentle and pleasant enough to play in the background—whether you are working, chatting, or sleeping—but they also have the power to enchant and entrance when you listen closely. Case-in-point is “Blue Ruin,” a song about the Sandy Hook shootings that avoids self-righteous sloganeering in favor of tortured resignation, quiet rage, bottomless sadness, and unanswerable questions. It’s one of the most haunting songs written this decade.

Recommended Track: “Blue Ruin”

RIYL: The Lone Bellow, Nickel Creek, Field Report

Milkshakes

by Aj LaGambina

Milkshakes, hailing from Connecticut, are an alt-rock/power-pop powerhouse that released their first LP, Juvenilia, in November of last year. Focusing on huge, 90’s throwback instrumentation and relatable musical themes, the band stands out as one of the gems of the CT music scene.

Recommended Track: “Past Tragedies””

RIYL: Basement, Superheaven, Microwave

IDLES

by Kyle Huntington

Very rarely will a band be both tied to their influences in a way that allows them to exist on their own platform whilst simultaneously feeling very worthy amongst said classics and also come along at just. the. right. time. Bristol, England based band IDLES released their debut album Brutalism in March and it’s the most perfect call-to-arms, the rally-round, the gang mentality against the injustices and divisions so prevalent in the world lately. Spilling over with angry fuck yous, relentless rhythm sections and wired guitars whilst maintaining a sense of humour throughout, there’s few albums as directly raw sonically and as on-point culturally as this in 2017.

Recommended Track: “Mother”

RIYL: Pissed Jeans, Iceage, The Fall

Weller

by Deanna Chapman

Weller is a recent find for me. It’s the solo project of Harrison Nantz out of Philadelphia. He came around after I had already left the city, and it left me a bit bummed. Weller’s music, however, is well worth a listen. The Philadelphia music scene does not disappoint. Weller fits right in with the bands that have come out of there. Career Fair has bouncy melodies that you just want to jam out to. The music is well-crafted. The most recent release is a split with Rue from October 2016 and I’ll just be over here waiting for more.

Recommended Track: “Buck”

RIYL: Sorority Noise, Pinegrove, Modern Baseball

Post Modern

by Zac Djamoos

While the might have one of the least-Googleable band names ever, Post Modern’s music more than makes up for it. Their 2015 EP The Current was promising, displaying a knack for crafting hard-hitting post-hardcore. They’ve released a string of singles since which have only built on that promise. They’re gearing up to release a new record this year, and if it’s as good as the singles suggest, Post Modern is name we’ll be hearing for a long time.

Recommended Track: “Speak Soft”

RIYL: Thrice, Circa Survive, Have Mercy

Sonnder

by Craig Ismaili

This Philadelphia area band has drawn attention from alternative radio stations in the region, including Radio 104.5. This is in part because their music displays a boundless ear for melody that belies a pop act underneath the wall of sound of an alterntive act. It’s also in part because their live sets are at once filled unbridle exuberance and yet still remarkably polished. But perhaps the biggest asset Sonnder displays is their malleability. On their debut album Entanglement, released a little over a year ago, they display the ability to shape-shift to fit different perceptions of the band seamlessly, from the hard-charging “New Direction,” the opening track off Entanglement and also often the intro to their live performances, to the harmonic balladry of “Late October,” to the dance-pop of “Siren Calling.” In an era where the biggest single on the radio could be anything from a bubblegum pop song, to a piano ballad, to a folk-pop track, their ability to make an immediately captivating song in any genre will serve them well in the future. They are working on new music now which should be released later this year.

Recommended Track: “New Direction”

RIYL: Smashing Pumpkins, Silversun Pickups, Toyko Police Club

The New Respects

by Greg Robson

Nashville quartet The New Respects offer up a confident slice of soul-based rock with equal amounts of R&B, funk and even radio-ready pop. Vocalist Jasmine Mullen has a natural charisma and swagger but draws on the strength of her bandmates (drummer Darius Fitzgerald, guitarist Zandy Fitzgerald and bassist Alexis Fitzgerald) to do much of the heavy lifting. Their new EP Here Comes Trouble (Credential Recordings/Caroline Distribution) is sleek, sexy and scintillating. The strongest of the EP is the soon-to-be pop smash “Trouble” and the sultry ballad “Come As You Are.” The band’s youth is probably their greatest asset and their rise to larger stages seems almost inevitable.

Recommended Track: “Trouble”

RIYL: Alabama Shakes, Sharon Jones and the Dap Kings, St. Paul and the Broken Bones

King Neptune

by Becky Kovach

Singer/songwriter Ian Kenny has been a part of the New York scene for a while now – his previous band NGHBRS began in 2010 and made waves in 2013 with their album 21 Rooms – but it’s with his latest project King Neptune that Kenny seems to have finally found his footing. I was initially drawn to the band by “Black Hole,” the first song released under the new moniker. It’s dark and angry, fueled by static-y guitars and a volatile chorus about no longer knowing a person you once loved. Kenny’s voice is rich and gritty – the kind that can go from growling to smooth and back in a single measure. King Neptune’s debut EP A Place To Rest My Head has been out since last October and is still in constant rotation on my iPod/Spotify/stereo.

Recommended Track: “All Night”

RIYL: Envy On The Coast, Cage The Elephant, Heavy English

Crystal Clear

by Aj LaGambina

Crystal Clear are a six piece based out of West Haven, CT that focus on a bright and energetic indie-pop sound. Their debut EP, Rough Draft hit bandcamp at the end of March and provides a perfect soundtrack for the New England springtime. The three original songs, and a unique take on Britney Spears’ “Womanizer” make for a breezy listen, though there’s plenty of musical layers to dive in to if critical listening is more your thing. The title track especially, with it’s big chorus and bouncy, ukulele-driven instrumental begs for sing-alongs in the car.

Recommended Track: “Rough Draft”

Souvenirs

by Zac Djamoos

Souvenirs’ 2014 debut You, Fear, and Me was a pleasant slice of indie rock, but it’s their sophomore outing that’s really going to turn heads. Posture of Apology finds the Carpinteria, CA, band leaning more heavily on the indie than the rock, trading in the booming choruses and distorted guitars for sparkling keys and spurts of electronics. And, hell, it pays off. “Bend and Break” feels like a poppier take on latter-day Copeland, and “Proof” is proof (ha) that Souvenirs are just as good at writing subtle, slowburning pop songs as they are at writing massive, shout-your-lungs-out ones. Even still, you might want to shout your lungs out to a song like “4th and Holly” anyway.

Recommended Track: “Roman Candle”

RIYL: Death Cab for Cutie, The American Scene, Mansions, All the Day Holiday

Danny Black

by Jason Tate

Danny Black is the project name for Good Old War’s Daniel Schwartz. The music is instrumental and guitar based, but it inhabits an atmosphere of driving on a backroad in the middle of summer. Dream-like, carefree, and uninhibited. Danny Black’s debut (and perfectly titled) album, Adventure Soundtrack, came out earlier this year and is impossibly easy to get lost in.

Recommended Track: “High Tide”

RIYL: Days Away, Good Old War

Steve Moakler

by Craig Manning

What does Steve Moakler’s music sound like, you may ask? Like the greatest summertime soundtrack you’ve never heard. With his breakout 2017 album, Steel Town, Moakler is slinging the sunniest choruses in country music—and that’s saying something, for a genre whose mainstream stars really, really love their summertime. The songs on Steel Town range from wistful heartbreakers (“Summer without Her,” with a vibe reminiscent of Dashboard Confessional’s “Dusk and Summer”) to pure song-of-the-summer pop tunes (the undeniable “Suitcase,” which needs to be on your playlist come June). Moakler, like many of Nashville’s brightest talents, hasn’t yet broken through in his own right—though he has penned a few songs for major stars like Dierks Bentley. But between Steel Town and 2014’s Wide Open, Moakler’s got pop songs that will appeal to country fans, country songs that will appeal to pop fans, and enough heartfelt, nostalgic lyrics to fill any summer night. Check him out now—before he’s one of the biggest names in music.

Recommended Track: “Suitcase”

RIYL: Will Hoge, Matt Nathanson, Twin Forks

Black Foxxes

y Zac Djamoos

Sometimes you want to drop the pretenses and just rock, and that’s what Black Foxxes do best. The Exeter, England trio delivered one of the best no-frills rock albums of 2016 – a year that saw no shortage of great rock albums. I’m Not Well stood out due to the raw energy Back Foxxes bring to the table. Whether it’s an unexpected scream breaking through a quiet verse or the sudden drum fill that introduces the title track’s massive hook, there’s always a burst of energy to keep you on your toes. With Black Foxxes racking up festival dates left and right, they’re showing no signs of slowing down. Trust me, you’ll want to be able to say you were a fan before they take over the world.

Recommended Track: “River”

RIYL: Brand New, The Felix Culpa, Manchester Orchestra, Microwave

Phoebe Bridgers

by Craig Ismaili

“Smoke Signals,” the first song Bridgers released from her as of yet unfinished debut album is a remarkable achievement in a song transporting the listener to a specific place. You see, the world within “Smoke Signals” is lived in. This is not a love song in the abstract. The etching of the passage of time is written all over it, from the tragic passings of Lemmy Kilmister of Motorhead and David Bowie memorialized in song, to an entire verse about The Smiths’ “How Soon is Now.” The celebrity deaths speak to some innate desire to transform one’s life for the better, or just to escape the enormity of it while (“It’s been on my mind since Bowie died / Just checking out to hide from life / and all of our problems / I’m gonna solve them.”). So it’s not at all an escapism fantasy, as so many other songs are, no it’s a journal of a life “lived deliberately” as Thoreau would say in the name-checked Walden. It’s a remarkable testament to the power of Bridgers as a songwriter and a storyteller that she can paint a picture so vividly in just a few simple phrases. The singer/songwriter, who has recorded with Ryan Adams and is signed to his Pax Am label imprint, is a rare, once-or-twice-in-a-generation talent, and I urge you to get aboard the hype train with me before it has passed you by.

Recommended Track: “Smoke Signals”

RIYL: Julien Baker, Elliot Smith, Ryan Adams, Gillian Welch

Hippo Campus

by Kyle Huntington

An early blueprint for this Minnesotan band’s music was seeing people having fun at their shows and continuing to create music that engaged a crowd into a sense of joy and elation. This serves as a great and inclusive foundation, but it’s on their debut album landmark where Hippo Campus evolve and flourish in the nuances and more sombre tones. These moments ice the top of every portion of the album and consequently deliver an outstanding debut. Each song is its own entity whilst remaining a part of a cohesive whole. Bon Iver collaborator BJ Burton handles production duties allowing transitions between tracks to be sequenced thoughtfully and there’s diverse soundscapes from piano-led tracks to more heavy guitar-driven songs that are relentless in their force – but nothing is ever confused or lacking in an identity, in fact landmark boasts a very authentic stamp. Lyrics, handled by guitarist/vocalist Nathan Stocker, are reminiscent of a young Morrissey in their self aware and often humorous ‘coping mechanism’ style and they’re delivered with the heartfelt, floaty vocal tones of frontman Jake Luppen for truly effective measure. landmark is an indie-rock album that doesn’t have a weak moment, consistently great from start to finish with some of the most memorable musical compositions I’ve heard in some time.

There’s that rare type of hype around the band, a non-claustrophobic buzz, which allows their unique breed of infectious, outrageously pop-sensible and intelligent indie music to bloom.

Recommended Track: “Way It Goes”

RIYL: Bombay Bicycle Club, Vampire Weekend, Bleachers

Creeper

by Becky Kovach

There’s no replacing My Chemical Romance. However, British newcomers (or at least new to me) Creeper are giving the kings of the goth scene a run for their money. The band’s debut Eternity, In Your Arms, is drenched in the same dark and theatrical nuances that MCR became known for. If you missed them on tour with Too Close To Touch and Waterparks, have no fear – they’ll be back this summer on the Vans Warped Tour. Time to break out the eyeliner.

Recommended Track: “Misery”

RIYL: My Chemical Romance, Alkaline Trio, AFI

Shallows

by Anna Acosta

You’d hardly know synth-pop duo Shallows are newer faces on the LA music scene to look at the year they’ve had. Marshall Gallagher’s meticulous production combined with front-woman Dani Poppitt’s hauntingly addictive vocals peppered 2016 with festival-ready singles. The lyrics dance around themes of longing with no shortage of clever wordplay, transmitting their message so effectively that the listener can’t help but want to hear more. With Poppitt at the helm, Shallows have achieved that ever-so-elusive feat: to embody everything current about the LA music scene, while feeling in no way derivative. The good news? They’ve got an EP coming out later this year. One thing is for sure: this band won’t be underground for long.

Recommended Track: “Matter”

RIYL: Lorde, Lana Del Rey, Halsey

White Reaper

by Craig Manning

White Reaper aren’t quite a hair metal band, but they sure sound like they could have been hustling up and down the Sunset Strip 35 years ago. Situated on the musical spectrum somewhere between Van Halen, KISS, and Japandroids, White Reaper tear through one party-ready rock song after another on this year’s (un)ironically named The World’s Best American Band. Loud, raucous, glammy to the nth degree, and loaded with arena rock signifiers—chugging guitars, ripping solos, pounding drums that reverberate through your entire chest, bellowed vocals, and sugar-rush melodies that double their enjoyment factor with every beer you drink—this record feels tailor-made for loud-as-hell car listens this summer. If you thought that Japandroids LP from earlier this year was too overproduced or too stuck in a mid-tempo rut, White Reaper have the antidote.

Recommended Track: “Judy French”

RIYL: ‘80s hair metal filtered through a modern alt-rock prism

Posture and the Grizzly

by Zac Djamoos

Posture and the Grizzly are a puzzling band. I Am Satan contains a nearly even split of pop-punk and post-rock, sometimes within the very same song (see opener “I Am Not a Real Doctor”). They manage to combine the best aspects of both genres to create an impressive and expansive album that’s also just fun as hell. There’s beauty and space in “Star Children,” there’s catharsis in “Acid Bomb,” there’s a monstrous earworm in “Kill Me,” and there’s a great record in I Am Satan.

Recommended Track: “I Am Not a Real Doctor”

RIYL: blink-182, Runaway Brother, The World Is…

Blaenavon

by Kyle Huntington

There’s a danger with debuts that are a long-time coming, a momentum can be lost. A spark can fade a little or fickle fans can just lose interest. The Hampshire, England band may have taken five years to produce their debut album That’s Your Lot, which was released in April, but it’s so self-assured in its brooding wonder and euphoria that any potentials pitfalls another band may encounter are bypassed without a second glance by Blaenavon. Produced by Jim Abbiss who has a masterful touch on so many staple indie-debuts (Arctic Monkeys, Bombay Bicycle Club, The Temper Trap and…Adele) the record is best summed up by frontman Ben Gregory himself: “That’s Your Lot is five years of our lives condensed into 59 minutes of yours. Youth, capriciousness, duality, duplicity, love, bitterness, fate. Songs from the human core: some malleable, long considered – others pure, direct, cruelly honest. An album to bathe in and appreciate the inevitable end.”

Recommended Track: “Orthodox Man”

RIYL: Bombay Bicycle Club, Foals, The Maccabees, The Temper Trap

Lindsay Ell

by Craig Manning

Lindsay Ell built her following on YouTube, covering songs by other artists. For the past few years, though, she’s been slowly making a name for herself in mainstream country music, releasing hooky one-off pop-country singles like the bubblegum kiss-off “By the Way” or the infectiously ebullient “All Alright.” It wasn’t until this spring, though, that Ell really showed the world what she was capable of. With the release of her debut EP, Worth the Wait, the 28-year-old Canadian country singer has cast off the usual constraints of pop country for a soulful, versatile set of songs. Her producer, Kristian Bush of the band Sugarland, encouraged her to pick her favorite album and record a cover version of the whole thing, to get a better sense of what makes the songs tick and what she wanted to accomplish with her own music. Ell, a whiz of a guitar player, chose John Mayer’s 2006 masterpiece Continuum. Unsurprisingly, the influence of that record is splashed all across the songs that make up Worth the Wait—and not just in the closing cover of “Stop This Train.” Still, the most intriguing moments here are all Ell’s, from the soulful blues-pop of “Waiting for You” to the kinetic “Criminal,” all the way to the goosebump-inducing title track. Trust me: this girl is one to watch.

Recommended Track: “Worth the Wait”

RIYL: John Mayer, Sheryl Crow, Logan Brill

Sam Outlaw

by Craig Manning

A former ad executive turned country singer, Sam Outlaw sounded charming but somewhat limited two years ago when he released his first LP, 2015’s Angeleno. The songwriting was very solid, and Outlaw’s voice—not far removed from Jackson Browne—was butter. However, most of the songs were so old fashioned—with sweeping strings, mariachi horns, and more than a few hat tips to classic California country—that the record didn’t engage me quite as much as other more forward-thinking roots music records from that year. Outlaw’s second disc, this year’s Tenderheart sees the singer/songwriter breaking out of his traditionalist mode a bit, widening the palette for something that feels more his own. The highlight is lead-off track “Everyone’s Looking for Home,” an aching slow-burn that modernizes Outlaw’s sound a bit without sacrificing intimacy. But the whole record—from the title track, which calls back to the melody of Tom Petty’s “Free Fallin’” to “Look at You Now,” the Ryan Adams-style ballad that sits in the closing slot—is the direct opposite of a sophomore slump.

Recommended Track: “Everyone’s Looking for Home”

RIYL: Dawes, Jackson Browne, other Laurel Canyon country/folk acts

For Everest

by Zac Djamoos

I think there’s a For Everest song for everything. Want something snappy and infectious? Listen to “Autonomy.” Something slow and building? “Vitamins.” Want to shout along to something angry? “I’m in a Boxcar Buried Inside a Quarry.” Their debut We Are at Home in the Body runs the whole gamut of human emotions in nine songs, and toys around with just about every style. The two songs they’re released on their upcoming split with Carb on Carb only have me more convinced that For Everest can do no wrong. They’re one of the most creative and refreshing new bands around, and they’re only one album in. Strap yourself in and start singing along.

Recommended Track: “Autonomy”

RIYL: The World Is…, Dowsing, Everyone Everywhere, Paramore

Nikita Karmen

by Craig Manning

If you’re looking for a “song of the summer” candidate, Nikita Karmen’s new self-titled EP has two of them. “First” is the most obvious pick, an instantly hummable song about the kind of vindictive, petty jealousy that sets in when your ex moves on before you do. But “Love in a Thrift Shop” is sunny and sugary-sweet, too, with a big hook that sounds exactly like something Nashville radio could latch onto. Karmen’s wheelhouse is pop-country, but her music is refreshingly bare, with sparser and more organic arrangements than what you’d hear from many of her (overproduced) contemporaries. “First” starts out with nothing more than a lightly picked guitar and Karmen’s voice. It’s reminiscent of Adele’s Max Martin co-write, “Send My Love to Your New Lover,” only way catchier. And Karmen’s ballads—wrenching girl-next-door tales like “Curfew” and “Nobody with Me”—are similarly understated, allowing her pleasant voice and impressive songcraft to shine through. Pairing the pop-country cuteness of early Taylor Swift with the take-no-shit attitude of Maren Morris, Karmen might just be the next big thing.

Recommended Track: “First”

RIYL: Kelsea Ballerini, Maren Morris, Colbie Caillat

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olehistorian · 7 years

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Almost unrecognisable from her role as the dowdy housekeeper in Downton Abbey, Phyllis Logan is starring in an exotic new medical drama. She talks to Judith Woods about seizing the day and those Downton movie rumours… 'Obviously I never had a career to speak of before Downton Abbey,’ says Phyllis Logan drily, raising an eyebrow for further effect. ‘I sometimes wonder how on earth did I fill my time?’ It’s not true, of course, but we all know what she means: sometimes a jobbing actress is swept away by a juggernaut of a role that takes her a very long way from where she used to be. The Downton effect has had an impact on the career of every member of its award-winning ensemble cast. Lily James has starred in the BBC’s War & Peace and the movie Cinderella, Michelle Dockery landed a role as a criminal in the gritty US show Good Behavior, Joanne Froggatt played a serial killer in the ITV series Dark Angel – and now Phyllis is set to star in a new ITV drama series, The Good Karma Hospital. But it’s her years in service to the Crawley family that have made her a poster girl for ladies of a certain age who refuse to accept that life holds no more adventure. When her doughty but warm-hearted character Mrs Hughes finally found love with the pompous but kindly butler Mr Carson, it struck a blow for midlife love. In those days ‘Mrs’ was an honorific title bestowed on senior female staff, regardless of whether they had ever wed, so Mrs Hughes’s comical angst about whether he would be expecting ‘a full marriage’ struck a chord with any woman over 40 who has ever fretted about going to bed with a new partner. ‘Mrs Hughes was aerated about the sex thing because she probably hadn’t had much experience, but that turned out to be the least of her bloomin’ worries,’ acknowledges Phyllis. ‘God preserve us all from nitpicking middle-aged men who can’t abide change.’ In the phenomenally successful series, which ran for six seasons, Mr Carson (played by Jim Carter) turned out to be irrevocably stuck in his ways – the routines of the big house where he had been serving for many years. Ironically, it was his new wife’s performance in the couple’s kitchen (as opposed to the bedroom) that proved his greatest source of disappointment. Eventually, with affectionate pragmatism, the pair decided he should eat his meals at the Downton kitchen, cooked by Mrs Patmore, as before. ‘It’s a very identifiable scenario,’ says Phyllis, 61. ‘When a more mature couple makes a life together, each brings certain expectations and baggage and of course there’s always need for compromise, which some men in particular find difficult. Phyllis, once best known for playing posh totty Lady Jane Felsham in the 1980s and 90s series Lovejoy, was a late starter herself when it came to settling down. She met her husband, Pirates of the Caribbean actor Kevin McNally, in the 1993 miniseries Love and Reason when she was in her late 30s, but they didn’t get round to tying the knot until she was 55. ‘I had always sworn I would never have an actor in the house because they are so much trouble and so vain, but you can’t legislate for Cupid’s bow,’ she says. When she got together with Kevin, theirs was not a series of careful compromises but a classic coup de foudre. ‘I never thought real love – the sort where your blood tingles and your world explodes with joy – would happen to me at my time of life. I believed I had missed out. But I’m ever so glad it happened.’ A couple of years later, aged 40, she had their son David. He is now 20 and studying music and music production at university in Leeds. Once upon a time, reaching six decades was a milestone to be dreaded rather than celebrated, but, in well-cut jeans and a flattering floaty top, her burnished hair hanging loose, Phyllis provides incontrovertible proof that though life may not begin at 60, it sure as heck continues at a rip-roaring pace – as long as you have the right attitude towards the rollercoaster. ‘We packed David off to university not so long ago and as we drove back to our house in West London we were listening to the Elaine Paige show on Radio 2,’ recalls Phyllis. ‘She played Peggy Lee singing “The Folks Who Live on the Hill” and as soon as I heard the line “and when the kids grow up and leave us” I burst into absolute floods of tears and spent the rest of the journey splashing about in the passenger seat. But since then I’ve thought a lot about empty nest syndrome and how once your chick flies the coop it gives women the freedom to stretch their own wings once more, too.’ And as fate would have it, Phyllis’s new role in The Good Karma Hospital has allowed her to do just that and will doubtless prove a source of inspiration to a great many female viewers in a similar position. Set in India, the series features another estimable actress, Amanda Redman, 59, who plays an eccentric expat running a ramshackle cottage hospital, which is short on resources and long on compassion. ‘It’s a cross between Holby City and The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel but with dark secrets, so it should be right up everybody’s street,’ says Phyllis. ‘I play Maggie Smart, who has come to India for her daughter’s wedding and becomes unwell, so ends up in hospital and falls deeply in love. Not with a man – she already has a husband – but rather with the community, the culture and the way of life. She’s a fascinating character who has such humour and joie de vivre and it was great to play a woman finding herself and connecting with a wider spirituality.’ Phyllis spent months filming the six-part series on location in Sri Lanka. She, too, found herself smitten with the place and the people and at one point Kevin flew over from the US where he is in the cast of the US television series Turn: Washington’s Spies and they managed a 12-day break together. ‘We stayed in a hotel on the beach and it was bliss. The majority of the population are Buddhists and seemed so calm, open and thankful for whatever life gave them; I think we could all learn from them.’ All the same, Phyllis isn’t entirely convinced she believes in karma as a concept. ‘It would be nice to think that if you are a decent human being then eventually things will turn out right,’ she says. ‘But fate can intervene and pull the rug out from under you without warning and there might be nothing you can do.’ It is something she and Kevin can speak of from personal experience. Phyllis’s mother died from a dementia-related illness aged 90, but it was the agonisingly slow decline of Kevin’s mother over many years that proved more devastating. ‘Kev’s mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s in her early 60s and from then on his father became her carer and it was so hard for him. She reached the point where she didn’t recognise her own son and was agitated and upset because she had no idea where she was or who she was; that was heartbreaking to witness.’ Phyllis is an ambassador for Dementia UK and does what she can to support the charity’s work. ‘It’s such a cruel disease. I am aware there’s a genetic component so I do brain-training on my phone every day. Will that help stave it off? I have no idea; I think of Iris Murdoch – such a clever woman who dealt with words and complex memories all her life, and yet all those things that made her so creative and unique were taken while she was still alive. Ultimately, all you can do is cross your fingers and make the most of every day.’ Phyllis is certainly doing that. Last year was a veritable Air Miles bonanza; as well as her sojourn in Sri Lanka she went to Sydney for a Downton DVD launch, Los Angeles where the ensemble cast of Downton won yet another Screen Actors Guild Award, and then to New York to receive the prestigious Great Scot Award from the US branch of the National Trust for Scotland (previous recipients include comedian Billy Connolly and actor Alan Cumming). She wore a dress bought in John Lewis embellished for the occasion with a tartan sash and matching ribbon. ‘I’m not interested in fashion,’ Phyllis confides. ‘It’s just not on my radar. Whenever I’m doing a contemporary role, the wardrobe mistress will usually say, “Let’s go to Selfridges and get a personal shopper.” Most women would probably love it, but my face falls because I absolutely hate trying on clothes. One of the things I loved about Downton was the fact I had two outfits and maybe a coat if I got to go into the village; the girls in the Crawley family kept having to go for fittings every time there was a big dinner, which would have driven me mad.’ Logan loves… Reading Alan Bennett’s Keeping On Keeping On. I love him; my husband Kev played him in the stage version of The Lady in the Van. Listening to The Today programme on Radio 4 and Classic FM. Watching I do enjoy a good nature documentary. Planet Earth II was spectacularly good. Guilty pleasure A whole bag of Kettle Chips with a crisp glass of Picpoul de Pinet. Beauty product Boots No7 moisturiser; it’s not fancy but it does the job. Desert island luxury A karaoke machine, stage, lights and all the songs from the 70s. I’ll make a row of coconuts for an audience and there’ll be no stopping me. The ongoing international popularity of Downton means Phyllis and various other cast members are still asked to appear at events to meet the fans and launch DVDs. She’s often asked about her wigs and whether she kept one; she had three identical hairpieces all of which she affectionately dubbed Elsie. ‘People ask me if I was tempted to take a wig or that big bunch of keys I carried, but that would be theft, because these things aren’t my property,’ says Phyllis emphatically. ‘Besides, if there’s a Downton movie, which I hope will happen, all the props and costumes will be needed.’ Ah yes, the Downton film; rumours still swirl but so far there’s been no confirmation. According to Phyllis it may yet happen if – and it’s a huge if – the cast members can ever be gathered in one place long enough. ‘It’s like herding cats!’ she laughs. ‘We’re all so busy and in different countries, but it would be such fun to get together again. The camaraderie on set was extraordinary.’ Phyllis was in every episode of the family saga. Her husband even appeared in a handful of episodes as Horace Bryant, the stern father of an army major who fraternised with housemaid Ethel (Amy Nuttall), getting her pregnant before he died in action. Horace persuaded her to hand over his grandchild to him, which was brutal but necessary as she had been sacked from Downton in disgrace and had taken to prostitution in order to survive. ‘I was quite miffed that the producer had offered Kev a job without even consulting me,’ laughs Phyllis. ‘I wouldn’t dream of queering his pitch – although I do think I’d be great as Johnny Depp’s mother in a Pirates of the Caribbean film [in which Kevin plays Joshamee Gibbs]. And every lad needs a cuddle from his mother now, doesn’t he?’ Her eyes glitter with the sort of mischief Mrs Hughes would most certainly not approve of, but now Phyllis has emerged from the shadow of her fictional alter ego, she is keen to push boundaries. Last summer she resolved to challenge herself by taking on a theatre role in a dazzling touring production of Noël Coward’s Present Laughter, alongside Samuel West. ‘The prospect of going back on stage was a bit frightening, but that is exactly why I embraced it,’ she says. ‘I can be a bit of a scaredy-cat so I have to push myself and I was so very glad I did. It took me right back to my early days as an actress: booking my own digs, sitting on the seafront on my day off eating fish and chips. I also got to see fascinating places such as Canterbury, Cambridge and Brighton.’ Seeing the world – be it near or far – is something she gently urges all women to do once the kids have left. ‘Travel does broaden the mind and fill the senses,’ she says. ‘It gives you a new perspective and there are so many beautiful regions in Britain that I can think of no better way to spend time than exploring them because you’re a long time dead – so carpe diem, ladies!’ The Good Karma Hospital will be on ITV next month. Phyllis is an ambassador for Dementia UK and is supporting its campaign timeforacuppa.org Styling: Natalie Read. Hair: Alex Price at Frank Agency. Make-up: Lucy Gibson at Frank Agency using Clinique. Table and vase, both Habitat Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/you/article-4128572/Interview-Downton-star-Phyllis-Logan.html#ixzz4WSbvI2CF Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook

#phyllis logan #downton abbey #good karma hospital

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