feelin' flirty || Rick Grimes (TWD) x gn!reader
rick grimes taglist: @golden-hoax @mgparker @zomb-1-egutzz
AVAILABLE ON AO3
Summary: Being a long-lost friend of Maggie's, you wind up at the prison, a line of dead walkers behind you. You are promptly confronted with one Rick Grimes, and it's suddenly your life's goal to flirt with him as much as you can. Rick doesn't usually respond, but what if one day he does?
TWs: innuendos, talk of sex, shameless (and I mean shameless) flirting, mention of both Beth and Hershel's deaths, gunshot wound, blood, guns, knives, and all things TWD.
[[A/N: Tumblr has deleted this THREE times. I am furious, hello??? Also, someone should've been hardcore flirting with Rick, I'll say it. That's what this is based on. Do I have social anxiety? Yes, but am I still writing this? I am. Don't ask questions. ALSO, I do not know the TWD timeline at all, so I am making it up, thank you. Enjoy :))) ]]
With one last stab, you finished off the last... zombie? You didn't really call them anything, since you were alone. Maybe you should think about that a little more.
Wordlessly, you turned and stabbed another square in the head. Undead? No. Zombie? No, too cliché-
Another one.
It went on like that for a few more minutes, before you took a breath -with no answer to your question. Frowning at your knife being covered in... guts, for lack of a better word, you crouched down and wiped it on the grass.
What was that, 15? You didn't really count, but you should have. You were trying to get a new personal best actually-
"Hey!"
You froze, pocketing your knife, before spinning on your heel. The voice was fairly distant, so you weren't worried. Instead, close enough for it to matter, was a big building with high walls and barbed wire at the top of them. A prison. Huh.
"Up here!" The voice called again, and you startled.
Shading your eyes from the sun, you looked up into the watchtower, and sure enough, there was a silhouette. A guy, you think, with dark hair. That was about all you could say.
"Yeah?" You called back, curiously.
"That was cool as shit!"
You laughed out, probably for the first time in months, "Thank you, mysterious stranger!"
"Glenn!" He clarified.
Huh, you pursed your lips, before responding, "Y/N!"
"Nice to meet you!"
You laughed again, before feeling a pain in your stomach. When was the last time you'd eaten? You paused, trying to think. Three days ago (there was a box of Twinkies that hadn't expired yet in a stranded supermarket). Not great.
"Hey, Glenn?" You yelled, a little hopeful.
"Yeah?"
You pursed your lips, before deciding -taking a chance, really, "You got any food in there?"
Now, you were walking through the gate, which was a little dramatic. But, you kinda liked it. It felt like you were kind of a big deal, well, until there was a swarm of eyes on you. All different kinds.
You froze, licking across your teeth.
And then, a man ran up to your side -gasping a little. Was that Glenn? How did he-
He offered his hand to shake, and you accepted it -looking at the crowd, a little defensively.
"Are they going to kill me? Or...?"
"Shit," he turned to them, "-They just want some food, guys, c'mon!"
None of them even flinched.
"I don't bite," you joked, before frowning, "-shit. That was in bad taste-"
And then, a voice called out into the tense air.
"Y/N?"
You peeked over heads, looking, because-
Your eyes locked onto hers, and you nearly jumped in place -big smile blooming along your lips, "Holy shit, Mags?!"
You'd been friends, back in high school. You'd left junior year and tried to keep in touch. It just didn't work out. (You can't even remember now if it was her or you who stopped, at this point.)
Before she could so much as reply, you ran to her -arms wide open. She eagerly reciprocated, spinning a little with the force -you'd gotten pretty good at running at this point.
"What the fuck?" You breathed into her shoulder, and she laughed big and loud, "-What are the chances?"
With a thought, you pulled back -still holding her shoulders, "Are your Dad and Beth here?"
"Yeah," she cheered, and something in you felt relieved. Thank god, they were okay.
"And, you?" She offered, a little hesitantly -notable lack at your side.
You pressed your lips together, swallowing, and shook your head, "Been alone since the beginning."
Maggie frowned, hand coming up to rest on your arm and squeezing once.
"Only lived with my boyfriend," you explained, eager to lighten the mood, "-and he actually cheated on me, so. Wasn't the worst lost."
She laughed a little, before asking -carefully, "And your family?"
Something in your chest stung, you wordlessly shook your head. (Visions of unhinged jaws and blood filling it.)
She frowned, whispering her apologies before hugging you again. You leaned into it that time.
And then, you jumped back, excited, "You have to bring me to your family, Mags, it's been so long-"
"Ya 'ave to talk to Rick first," a voice grumbled out behind you.
You spun on your heel, facing a man. Tall, brunette, dark eyes, arms crossed in front of him (strong, you noted), but you could tell in his stance. He was a layer of stone walls, and you did not want to mine.
And then, your eyes smoothed across his back. Is that a fucking crossbow? Sick.
"Whose Rick?" You asked instead, Maggie still holding your arm.
"Whose askin'?"
That, was a good voice. Was your first thought as you turned back around, and your eyes landed on a figure.
Your voice got stuck in your throat.
He was tall, stood like he owned the place (and based on the recommendation, maybe he did), all broad shoulders and strong gaze. Speaking of gaze, he had probably the bluest eyes you'd ever seen. And his hair was brown and curly, a few hung forward on his face. His jaw was unspeakable, and his button-up shirt had a few extra buttons undone to account for the heat. Holy shit.
Maggie elbowed you, and you blinked.
"Uh, me," you answered, clearing your throat -motioning to Glenn, "-he said you had some food and I'm... hungry."
Maggie promptly stomped on your toe. You pressed your lips together trying not to laugh, carefully looking over his face to see if he'd picked up on it at all. Nothing. A shame, really.
Oh well, maybe next time.
"Look, Rick," she interrupted your thoughts, "-I know 'em, really well. Y/N is a good person."
Rick's eyes dipped to you, looking you over. Oh, the words were right there on the tip of your tongue. It would be so easy-
You're trying to survive, Y/N, your mind pressed, focus.
You bit at your lip, but before you could speak for yourself, Glenn did.
"I saw 'em take on a swarm outside," he added, eyes darting to Maggie (Huh.), "-without breaking a sweat."
There are other things I can do without breaking a sweat, your brain immediately remarked, this really was too easy.
Rick seemed to think about it a second, before turning to you, "Ya got a gun?"
I'd like to be loaded with-
"No," you cleared your throat, pulling out your knife (it was one of those multicolored ones, it's why you liked it clean), "-just this."
He hummed, tilting his head with a mouth shrug, "'At's impressive."
I bet your-
You pinched your arm, swallowing, "So, what? Am I in or not?"
Rick's eyes flicked up and down you again (so easy), before he decided, "Ya can stay."
That brings you to now, sitting with Maggie outside with a can of baked beans and a spoon in your hands.
You currently had quite the view of Rick working on the farm, sweat dripping down his brow, strained arms. You'd never thought about farming in that way, but now you were.
"Is his full name Richard?" You asked, curiously.
Maggie turned to you, watching the trail of your eyes to see what you were looking at. She rolled her eyes, "I don't know."
You put a spoonful into your mouth, humming around it, "There's a reason they call them 'Dick', you know."
"Oh my god," she shoved into you -making you laugh a little. You stared down into your can.
"I'm just saying," you stressed, "-he's hot enough for it."
Maggie paused a second, before deciding to say, "His wife died."
"Shit," your smile fell.
"Died in childbirth," she continued, something distant in her eyes -you wondered what exactly it was.
"How long ago?" You asked gently, looking at him in a new light -sympathizing.
"Few months," she answered, a little shortly. You pursed your lips, debating whether to say anything. Or if you even should.
Maggie clarified, herself, "I delivered the baby. Judith, her name is Judith."
"Fuck, Mags," you fully turned to her, putting the can by your feet, "-I'm so sorry."
She took a deep breath in and out, and you wrapped an arm around her shoulders pushing her into your side, "Thanks."
"No problem," you hummed, picking your can back up and letting your eyes drift to Rick again, adding, "-I'm great with babies, you know."
"You're ridiculous," she laughed, taking the bite you offered her.
"What?" You asked, "-Staring isn't bad. He's practically a piece of art, I'm just..."
He turned to the two of you then, blue eyes flickering along your faces -you did not move your gaze at all.
Instead, you gently waved, finishing, "-admiring him."
Rick furrowed his eyebrows for a second, waving back, and then, shaking his head smiling. Count that as a win.
You gnawed at your lip a second, "Do you think he picked up on my 'hungry' thing? I was looking at him and I-"
Maggie laughed, "He definitely did. Everyone did, Y/N, you're shameless."
"It's the apocalypse," you urged, "-who gives a fuck about shame anymore? Rick is hot, and as long as he lets me, I will flirt with him. The more you resist, the more I commit. You remember James in first period?"
She hummed, "I do."
"I chased him for half a year," you continued, swirling the spoon around the can, "-and it worked, didn't it? Guys hardly get properly flattered," your eyes dipped back to him, tone going low, "-I don't mind taking on that duty for the population."
Maggie laughed again, as you just kept your eyes on him. He had dirt on his hands now, wiping at his brow, and just a few curls hung forward on his forehead. God, how did you find him in the apocalypse?
"How valiant," she deadpanned, "-You're a real hero."
"Look, just because you have a type, Glenn, and you bagged him-"
"How did you-"
"Please," you teased, "-he practically ate you earlier with his eyes. Back to my point, I, at least, get to look."
She turned to you, "Ya don't want to date him?"
"Who said that, Mags?" You smirked, turning to her with a smile with eyes that spoke for themselves.
"You know he has kids, right?" She questioned, looking at you.
"So?" you waved the spoon around in your hand, "-Single dads? Hot. Kids? Cute. Where's the loss?"
Maggie looked at you a moment, before shaking her head, "You are clinically insane."
"Maybe," you offered, still watching him, "-but the world's fucked up too. So, at least, I'm not alone."
She laughed really hard at that one, and you felt eyes all over switch to you. Blue ones too. People didn't really seem to laugh around here, so you decided that was your mission too, get people to laugh more. Maybe they could go hand-in-hand.
Time to get to work.
Daryl was sitting across from you, you'd been bugging him for the past few weeks and he'd finally relented. It wasn't easy, but you were nothing if not persistent (hence the Rick situation). Or maybe stubborn. Both? Whatever.
"Daryl, listen," you pointed out, "-you have to take time to load up the bow."
"'At don't mean nothin'," he countered.
"It does," you stressed, explaining, "-in the amount of time it takes you to put in a new arrow, I would have killed at least two."
Daryl rolled his eyes, "It doesn't take 'at long."
"Who said it takes me long to kill two walkers?"
Rick walked by then, and Daryl stopped him.
"Rick, please, take 'em away from me," he spoke out, gruff, but something in you could tell that he wasn't being serious. The guy wasn't half the mystery you expected him to be.
Rick laughed a little at the plea, eyes on you, "What are ya doin' to him?"
"It's not that bad," you laughed, explaining, "-I was just talking about if we were pit against each other to kill the most walkers in a minute. And who would win."
"An' ya want me to help decide?"
"Daryl does," you clarified, "-I am fully confident in my abilities."
Rick laughed a little (another win), "Well, I kno' Daryl's skills, so tell me yours, so it's even."
You bit at your lip, debating. God, it would be so easy. All you had to do was-
"Well," you smiled, playfully, "-I'm told I'm very good with my hands."
He blinked, and it was silent a moment before you heard a snort beside you. You immediately flung to look at him, you had just made Daryl laugh-
"No way," you stressed out, throwing yourself to your feet -pointing at him, "-you just laughed at me."
Daryl pressed his lips together into a thin line, sniffing once, "No, I didn't."
You spun to Rick, and he was already looking at you, you didn't think about it too much.
"Rick," you begged, "-c'mon. I know you and him are like... buddies, but I-"
"Buddies?" He quirked a brow, smiling. Something stirred in your stomach.
"Look, I don't fucking know," you rolled your eyes, "-just agree with me."
He bit down a smile at you, before turning to Daryl, "Ya did laugh at 'em."
"Ha," you cheered, "-I made Daryl Dixon laugh. And, I would win against you."
"He didn't say 'at," Daryl instantly defended.
"Didn't have to, Dixon," you mocked, playfully, "-it's about time management."
"Time management?" Rick questioned curiously.
"Okay, think of this, Rick," you explained, leveling him with your full focus (god he was handsome), "-when you fight with a bow, or a gun for that matter, you have to reload."
He grinned a little at you.
"Follow me, follow me," you hummed, pulling out your knife, "-when you have a physical sort of attack method, like a knife, you don't have that same time issue."
"Ya kinda do though," he interjected.
You paused, looking at him -thoughtfully, "How so?"
"Body's gotta build up energy again," he reasoned (with too much thought for this dumb conversation, smart too? god has favorites), "-Stamina is key to attackin'."
You rolled your lip in between your teeth, he had to be doing this on purpose at this point. Seriously.
"Trust me, sheriff," you spoke -a teeny bit teasing but otherwise very genuine, "-there is no problem with my stamina."
Rick bit back a laugh, turning his head to the side and smiling. You thought you saw a little red on the tips of his ears. Cute. You were unraveling the layers of one Rick Grimes, that was progress.
Daryl didn't even try to hide it that time, letting a gruff chuckle leave his lips, "'M glad I'm not your focus for 'at."
You patted his shoulder, standing up, "It'll be devastating one day, Robin Hood. Don't come crying to me when it is."
"Did ya just call me Robin Hood?"
Rick laughed at that one, head tilting up to the sky. You smiled wide.
"Look at that," you hummed, proud, "-a two for one. Which-"
They both looked at you, but you stuck to your guns. And you smirked a little.
"-honestly, I would not mind," you added -thoughtfully, "-Think about it, and get back to me."
You walked backward a few steps, watching as Rick smiled at you before turning back to fix his gaze on Daryl. Smiling at the ground, you spun on your heel, and went off to find someone else to pester.
You felt a pair of eyes follow you though, and you maybe grinned a little brighter.
Now, you were wandering off on your own. On your own run, you liked to do that sometimes. Maggie nearly had a heart attack because of it, but what damage you did get was usually minor. Except for once, but that wasn't your fault. Well it was, you smashed a window with your fist to see if you could do it. And you could, which was impressive.
Now, you were strolling through an old novelty store -little knick-knacks. Finding some figurines, you grabbed a superhero one and stashed it away. Your eyes caught on a DVD player, the kind for both music and movies, and you picked it up -turning it over in your hands. Battery powered.
On a mission to find both DVDs and some batteries, you roamed through some aisles -particularly a mug one.
Peeking through at some of them, you paused. Taking your pack off and slipping the DVD player into it (along with the few good DVDs you found, no batteries though) on top of some canned food you'd found, you zipped it up. And with a breath, grabbed a mug.
Smiling big, you made your way out of the store.
When you got back to the prison, Maggie was waiting for you -tapping her feet, anxiously. She was a little like a mother, you weren't sure how you felt about it. But you loved her so, you dealt with it.
"Hey Mags," you cheered, mug handle twisted between your fingers.
She instantly relaxed, eyes scanning you over before dropping to the mug. She frowned.
"Please, tell me-"
"I got some food," you sighed, "-I'm not entirely useless."
She pursed her lips, "And the mug?"
You grinned, holding it up for her to see -tapping your fingers along both sides. Her eyes skimmed over it before she frowned (biting back a smile, you could tell).
"Seriously?" She asked.
"What?" You responded, groaning, "-I can't get gifts?"
She shoved into your side, and before you could take too many steps, you were met with your target -leaning against the fence, few steps from Maggie. Was he waiting for you too?
"Rick," you dropping your hands, particularly to avoid him from reading the text, "-what are you doing here?"
"Ya do 'at a lot?" He asked, a little pointedly. You thought you recognized something a little like worry in it, "-Go off on your own?"
Huh.
"Yeah," you laughed a little, "-you haven't noticed? I've been getting like... half the food we have."
Rick hummed (a little in appreciation) before his eyes dropped to your hands, "And what's 'at?"
"A gift," you extended it to him, unflinchingly.
He pulled himself from his spot on the wall, walking forward and accepting it. His fingers (great fingers, really. Was that weird to say?) wrapping around it, you noticed for a second that your fingers brushed -your breath halted a little in place.
"A mug?" He asked looking at you for a second, eyebrows furrowed.
You took your hand, and spun it around in his hands -brushing his skin against yours, "The other side."
He smiled a little, laughing.
Right there on a rather plain mug, were the words '#1 HOT DAD'.
He bit back a smile, eyes peeking up at you again, "Ya really ain't gonna let 'is go, are ya?"
"Nope," you popped the 'p', before clarifying, "-unless you want me to."
Rick licked a line against his teeth, grinning a little with something in his eye, "Who said 'at?"
"Noted," you smiled back, something fluttering in your chest, "-now, where's Carl? I got him something good."
"Ya got him somethin' too?"
He was looking at you a little curiously, like he was seeing new layers of you. You kind of wanted to squirm a little at his gaze. You were not used to people figuring you out.
You sighed, quickly turning your pack to the front and unzipping it. With a breath, you dug around and pulled out the figurine -Rick's eyes caught on it immediately. A small smile creeping along his mouth.
"He told me once he liked comics," you clarified, clearing your throat, "-figured he would like this. You... You think he will?"
"He'll love it," he answered, something new in his eyes, "-C'mon, I'll take ya to him."
On the way there, he seemed to pause a moment, something on his mind. You patiently waited for him to say it.
"'Saw somethin' else in 'ere," he mindlessly remarked, as the mug swung between his fingers "-What is it?"
"Oh," you pulled your pack foward again, excited, extending the figurine to him for safekeeping (he took it with a smile), "-a DVD player."
You held it in your hands, showing to him.
"Found some DVDs, good ones," you continued, before putting it back in your bag, and accepting the figurine back (your fingers brushed again), "-no batteries though."
Rick hummed, pursing his lips like he was thinking about something. He didn't say a word though.
You didn't have much time to think about it, because a few days after that, the prison fell. You'd escaped with Rick and Carl, but you weren't exactly yourself. Not after everything.
There was Judith, and Maggie, and... and Beth and Hershel. Every day felt like there was bile turning in your stomach; every time you closed your eyes, you saw someone... someone dead.
You were lying against the grass, looking up at the stars -it was still so pretty. Despite it all, the sky was still the same. Bright and twinkly. It was when everyone was on the road, wandering for a place to go. You just couldn't sleep, so you took it upon yourself to just look at the sky. You thought the clouds might be pretty, but the night was a little breathtaking.
"Ya awake?"
You didn't say a word.
"C'mon, Y/N, I know ya are."
"Yeah, I am," you sighed, saying shortly, "-Can't sleep."
There was an echo of footsteps, and then you felt body heat beside you. There was a beat.
"Ya ain't gonna say anythin'?" Rick hummed, turning his head to face you.
You matched his eyes (he's probably more handsome now, honestly), "About what?"
"Me, ya know," he motioned, to your side, "-layin' with ya."
You laughed at him a little, before teasing, "Awe, you miss it, don't you, sheriff?"
"Not a sheriff anymore," he hummed, something a little heavy in his voice.
"Eh," you shrugged, looking back to the stars, "-you still are in my mind."
Rick smiled at you, wordlessly.
Before you added, plainly, "Mostly because I love a man in uniform."
He laughed then, big and bright, and you felt something warm in your chest that you knew but hadn't felt in a while.
You wanted to be genuine, really genuine.
"You are a good man, Rick," you turned to look at him, and he looked straight back, "-We've all done shit we never should've, and maybe it's fucked us up a little bit, moved our path in the wrong direction once or twice, but-"
You looked back up to the sky, still feeling his eyes on you. It was kind of like a dream, like the apocalypse wasn't real for a second, just you and Rick. And maybe you wanted that a lot more than you knew.
"-you've got a big heart, Rick," you finished, soundly, "-And even if sometimes you lose sight of what you're doing, or maybe who you are, that... that doesn't change."
Rick didn't say anything for a moment, words echoing out into the night air. You couldn't find it in yourself to regret them, though. You never really regret what you said these days, there was no reason too.
You really only regret what you didn't say. Maybe to people who aren't around anymore. Your heart sunk a little in your chest, but it felt a little lighter -just a smidgen. (Maybe because of who you were with.)
"I got somethin' for ya," Rick suddenly spoke, sitting up (you followed suit).
You furrowed your eyebrows, "You got me something? When?"
Mindlessly, he replied, "On the last run."
You pursed your lips but waited patiently. He moved over to his pack, unzipping one of his pockets and pulling something out -you couldn't quite see. Trying to peek you moved over a little, but nothing.
With a breath, he stood back up and waltzed over to you (somehow he made walking hot, they needed to research that), extending it forward right into your face.
You blinked, gently taking it into your hands and looking at it closely. It was dark so you couldn't really-
Batteries. He handed you a pack of AA batteries.
"No way," you laughed out, "-you remembered that?"
"I remember a lot of what ya say," he offered casually, and you felt something shoot down your spine. And with a breath, he sat right beside you, so close your knees bumped a little.
Pulling your bag over to you, you dug around in it. You'd kept the DVD player and DVDs, not really with the hope of finding batteries. But, to feel a little human, remember life before.
You'd taken to putting stickers on it when you saw any, so the top of it was covered in an assortment. You ran your fingers over it a second, taking it in, before flipping it over. Popping open the little tab, you let out a breath of relief when it was AAs.
Rick laughed.
"I was going to be so pissed if it wasn't," you spoke, "-you have no idea."
He just looked at you then, in a way you'd seen before but never really thought about. You turned back to your bag, shuffling around to find your stash.
"You want music or a movie?"
"Movie's fine," he hummed, and you still felt his eyes trained solely on you. You tried to shake it off.
"Let's see," you pulled out a few of the movies you had, showing them to Rick, "-I've got... a kid's animated movie, or... a... cheesy romcom!"
Rick stared at you, instead of the movies, before flickering to them.
Rambling, you continued, "I also picked up some horror stuff, but I... I really think that was a bad move on my part."
He laughed again, just looking at you in a way you didn't really know how to label. Or react to. You were kind of a little overwhelmed at the fact that he'd even gotten you the batteries, and then the way he was looking at you-
"Think romcom sounds good," he interrupted your thoughts, scanning over you.
"Alright," you acknowledged, putting the other ones up, and scooting back next to him -not enough to touch. It was a little awkward and you weren't sure how you were going to-
"I don't bite ya know," he quipped, laughing a little.
You turned to him, grinning, "Well maybe I do."
Rick laughed again for a moment, just looking at you. And then he extended out an arm, welcoming you into his side.
You paused a moment, before carefully guiding yourself to slot into him; the back of your head against his shoulder, and his arm wrapped around the back of your shoulders. You brought your knees up, to carefully balance the DVD player (shaped like a little laptop really). A tiny little screen for the two of you to see on. Logistically, that's why you were so close but a part of you thought a little otherwise.
"I don't," you hummed.
"What?"
"I don't bite."
He laughed a little, "Good."
"Unless you want me to-"
And the laughter that filled the night was just between you and him. And maybe in the morning, you were fast asleep on his shoulder and maybe he looked at you a little like you were the greatest thing he'd ever seen and maybe he shushed all the others just to have the moment last even a second longer.
You'd never really know.
Now, you were in Alexandria. You'd gotten Maggie back, you'd gotten Judith back. You were on a new high, and that meant two things. More pestering, and two, flirting with Rick.
You were walking through Alexandria with Maggie, just keeping her on her feet really. She wasn't super pregnant yet, and it was good to be healthy.
"I cannot believe you're pregnant," you mindlessly remarked, holding Judith close to your side.
"I have been," she retorted, "-for a while. Think ya have had time to digest it."
"But, it's like physical proof that you fucked," you commented, "-unprotected, by the way. I know you missed that sex-ed day, but seriously-"
"Carl's proof that Rick fucked," Maggie defended, eyes smoothing over him with a few of his friends.
"Well," you pursed your lips, "-I know that Rick fucked. Just on principle, he's-"
She motioned for you to zip it, "Don't start. I know you are doin' good, which is great. But it also means ya become a lil' unbearable."
"Me? Unbearable?" You turned to Judith, cooing a little, "-Can you believe the nerve of her, Jude?"
Judith smiled at you with her big brown eyes and toothless little mouth. You pinched her cheek, instinctively, "So cute."
"I still can't believe that you're in love with Ri-"
"I told you that in confidence," you interrupted, pointed.
Maggie stuck out her tongue at you and Judith laughed a little at it. Funny faces, right. You could physically see the pregnancy hormones on her face as she cooed at Judith.
You would've said something, but you had just done it yourself.
"Where's your keeper anyway?" You hummed like you'd been stuck with her (you actively searched her out).
"'E's not my keeper," she responded, sternly (mom voice, already?), "-and he's out on run, gettin' supplies."
"If he's not your keeper, how'd you know who I was talking about?"
"You are so-"
Before she could finish such a kind sentence, the two of you were interrupted. A presence waltzing up to your side.
You turned to look who, and-
Your heart lept into your throat. It was Rick, now clean-shaven, and although, you had loved the beard (don't even get you started), his jaw was on full display. Blue, blue eyes. And dipping to his clothes, he was in a damn uniform.
"Look at you, Rick," you complimented, smiling.
"'Heard ya liked a man in uniform," he smiled (a new type of way), and winked. And before you could say a word, he walked forward -past you.
You stuttered to a stop, Maggie right beside you. Blinking you turned to her, and she looked right back at you. And then you both turned to look at Rick, still walking the same way he was.
Turning back forward, you opened your mouth, "Sorry, did that just happen?"
Maggie hummed, pulling you with her, "It did."
"How did I never think of that?"
"Think of what?" She offered, as you smoothed back into a step with her.
You answered, eyebrows furrowing, "That he might flirt back."
She shrugged, "If it helps, I never thought he would."
"I am not against shoving a pregnant woman," you hissed back, with no bite. You never really had any. And you both broke into laughter, as you roamed through Alexandria.
Now, Daryl was leaning against a house as you stood beside him -pestering as always.
"No, listen," you turned to him, attentively, "-it's called fuck, marry, kill-"
"I ain't playing it with ya."
"C'mon, Daryl, it's fun, look-" you flagged down Glenn (who was carrying a box, of what, who knows?), "-Glenn, fuck, marry, kill. Michonne, Carol, and Daryl."
"Easy," he laughed, "-fuck Michonne, marry Carol, and sorry, dude, but kill Daryl."
"See?" You motioned to Glenn, as he walked forward.
"Don't ya 'ave a wife?" Daryl remarked, as Glenn moved along.
"Oh please," you shook your hand dismissively, "-it's all just fun. Just hypothetical scenarios."
"Okay, now," you started over, "-fuck, marry, kill. Deanna-"
"Kill," he answered -unflinchingly.
"See!" you cheered, "-you're getting the hang of it-"
"What are the two of ya doin'?"
You turned to see the one and only Rick Grimes, a little more worn today, which you kind of preferred, still had those bandaids on (how did he make that look hot?), and more casually dressed. In the white t-shirt, we trust.
"I'm teaching Daryl how to play fuck, marry, kill," you answered, eyes solid on him, "-obviously."
Before he could respond, Daryl chimed up, something mischievous in his eyes. You squinted at him, trying to figure it out. And then he opened his mouth.
"I got one," he spoke, a smile teasing on his lips (looking at Rick, directly), "-Y/N, Glenn, and Rosita."
You stared at the eye contact for a moment (everything was so suspicious), before asking, "What am I supposed to do with myself?"
Daryl shrugged, you bit your lip a second.
"I guess I could kill myself, big waste, but-" you paused, "-ooh, wait, I could, like, clone situation fuck myself-"
"Now, 'at would be a sight to see," a low southern drawl interrupted your words, and your voice faltered to a stop.
You turned to him, squinting at him for a second -trying to understand. All he did was wink at you again, and you hated that it made your knees a little wobbly. Especially when he was holding onto the column of the porch, and slightly leaning toward you-
"Before I was so rudely interrupted," you cleared your throat, "-I would marry Glenn, fuck Rosita, and, tragically, kill myself."
Daryl nodded his head, before motioning to Rick, "What 'bout ya?"
"Am I playin'?" He questioned, finger pointing to himself and eyes dashing to you.
"Might as well," you shrugged, "-you're already over here."
He pursed his lips a second like he was thinking, eyes particularly avoiding you, "An' I can't choose one person for two of 'em?"
You swallowed, oh, he was playing dirty.
"Nope," Daryl answered.
And then, he turned into something much softer, something more familiar, "Then, marry Y/N, fuck Rosita, and kill Glenn."
Marry?
Your heart lept into your throat, and your fingers started fidgeting with your shirt -instinctively. How the hell was he winning? I started this game-
"Thought so," Daryl responded.
And out of the corner of your eye, you saw Carol. Her eyes matched yours a second, and you tried to convey how desperate you were to get away from this very scene. Her eyebrows furrowed for a second, but then she spoke.
"Hey, Y/N! Can you come help me with the food?"
"Of course, Carol," you called back, smiling at the two of them, "-sorry, duty calls."
Rick just grinned at you then, like he knew exactly what you were doing. And you were 100% sure he did. Stupid handsome men with stupidly beautiful blue eyes. Ignoring the fact that you physically brushed against him to get off the porch, you frantically caught up to Carol.
You were in the pantry now, gathering ingredients, Carol directing you -naming them as she found them.
"So," she looked at you, "-are you gonna tell me what that was about?"
You pursed your lips, before answering, "Rick's flirting back with me."
Carol raised her eyebrows at you, "Huh."
"And I was teaching Daryl how to play fuck, marry, kill, and he-" you rapted your fingernails along one of the cans, "-and he said he'd marry me. But all... genuine and shit."
"And that's bad?"
"No, no," you shook your head, putting the can into a basket, "-It's not bad. Just... I don't know if he means it."
"You just said that he said it genuinely," Carol pointed out, grabbing another can.
"Well yeah, but-" you scrambled a moment, "-all that time ago, I was flirting genuinely. I mean even though it was playful, it was still genuine."
"And," she connected the dots, "-you're not sure if he's genuine?"
"Yeah," you skimmed along the shelves, gathering the last can she needed.
"Well," she took it from your hand, blue eyes on you softly, "-if it's worth anything, I think he's genuine. And maybe this is his way of showing how he feels about you."
You hummed, wordlessly.
"He's let you flirt with him this long," she continued, bringing a hand up to your shoulder, "-that has to mean something, doesn’t it?"
She had a point.
"Now," she adjusted the basket, "-are you actually going to help me with the food? Or was it just an excuse to run away from Rick?"
You laughed, "I'll help, I'll help. I'm not a total dick. Speaking of-"
She turned to you.
"Do you know if Rick's full name is Richard?"
It was a few weeks later, and they were filled with frustratingly blue winks. And that was one thing, but now you were being stupid. You were stupid.
You'd thought Oh, it'll be just like old times, I'll go out on a run. It'll be so nice-
And now you were walking with a gunshot would, quickly bandaged by a rip of your t-shirt and whatever you had around you. Which in whatever the hell store it was, was not a lot. All you'd managed to find was alcohol so you at least soaked the shirt.
You'd blearily walked all the way home, eyes foggy, and praying that a walker wouldn't come near you. And now you saw it, Alexandria.
"Gabriel," you called, breathlessly, "-Gabriel, please let me in."
You heard him say something but you were delirious. Maybe something with your name? Head fuzzy and eyes bleary, you were coming down from the high of getting somewhere safe. As you waltzed into Alexandria (pain in the abdomen so hot it almost felt numbing), there was a swarm of people around you immediately. Felt like you were back in the prison, when Maggie would be waiting and you think she was now.
"Hey, hey," she chanted, grabbing your face (and you could see her now), "-look at me, Y/N, tell me what the hell happened."
"Some guy, the bitch," you muttered out, a little slurred you think, "-just shot me, because he wanted the last of the damn Campbell soup, who shoots someone for Campbell soup?"
Her eyes dropped to your body, you mindlessly noted that it was sticky. Your eyes dropped too, and saw all the red -so much red.
"I think I lost a lot of blood, Mags."
"Somebody go get Rick, and the doctor, now," she shouted (loud, loud), before turning back to you, "-How the hell did you get here?"
"I walked," you answered simply.
"You walked?" She responded, hands on your shoulders, "-How did you-"
You were safe now, and everything in your body just gave out.
"Adrenaline is a hell of a drug," you hummed, laughing a little, before falling to the ground.
Your head stung from the ground, as Maggie tried to get down by your side -all pregnant belly.
"'S okay, Mags, don't-" you mumbled "-don't hurt yourself."
She frowned, and you thought she might have tears in her eyes, "I have to stay with you, Y/N, whose going to keep you awake-"
"Glenn," you called, and you saw him saunter up to your side, a little slurred, "-take care of 'er, help her sit. Don't worry, Mags, don't worry-"
You heard a slap of footsteps then, quick and brisk, and before you could wonder who, blue eyes and rough hands were guiding your face. He was starting to grow his stubble back, you mindlessly noted.
"Rick," you smiled a little fuzzily, reaching up and patting his face, "-See Mags, Rick'll take care of me."
"Hey, hey," he brought your focus to him, "-keep lookin' at me, okay?"
"Well," you slurred a little, "-'at's not very hard, sheriff."
He turned to the crowd then, voice low and gruff, "What the hell happened?"
You heard Maggie respond then, through sobs, "'Ey said that some guy shot 'em, over a... over some food."
"Didn't even ask if he could have 'em, first. Who does that-"
"Daryl," he motioned -tone low, and he immediately nodded. You watched him leave your eyesight.
Rick instead, brought your face back to him, as you recognized the doctor to be by your side, scrambling with some white stuff.
"Hey, hey, baby," he spoke, low in a whisper, "-I'm 'ere, focus on me. Look at me."
You smiled again, delirious, "You called me baby, that feels nice. Everythin' else burns-"
"I kno', I kno'," he soothed, you felt pressure on your abdomen (hissing in pain, as your eyes got more blurry), "-ya did a good job gettin' back 'ere. To where you're safe. Ya did a good job."
"Just kept walking," you slurred, "-couldn't stop. Wasn't gonna die to some asshole."
Rick laughed then a little, and you felt something a little different than pain. Your hands naturally came to his face, mindlessly rubbing your thumbs against his cheekbones. He's always been so handsome, only gets better with time.
You noticed he leaned into it a little, careful not to hurt you. Yeah, you realized, he was genuine.
God, what if you had missed out on this, with Rick? All because of some stupid can of soup-
"Rick," you started, and he looked at you a little like you held the world, you were the world maybe, "-I think I'm gonna die."
"You're not, no-" he held his hand over yours (it was so warm. Why had you never held his hand?), "-You're not gonna die, baby. You're gonna be fine."
"I'm bleeding," you breathed out, scanning over him, "-Been bleeding the whole time. You're not supposed to bleed that much, Rick."
"Ya ain't gonna die," he repeated, hands gathering your face, "-Look at me, ya ain't dyin'."
Concern clear on his face, you felt the urge to soothe, soothe, soothe-
You looked at him, eyes scanning over his face. He was handsome, yeah, but he was caring, smart, and so, so kind. You wanted to tell him that, see what he'd say. What he'd do.
"'Said that you were a good man, 'at you have a big heart," you hummed, eyes languidly blinking, "-still mean it. Don't you forget it."
He looked at you for a second, eyes flicking all over your face, before looking to the doctor. She must've said something (your ears felt stuffy) because then Rick was picking you up. He was everywhere, smell, sight. All you could feel was Rick, body heat thrumming and blooming into your side.
"Always knew you were strong," you mindlessly remarked.
You felt Rick laugh in his chest, and your eyelids were so heavy then. You slowly began blinking, your brain slowing down. Maybe you could close your eyes just for a little bit.
"Got so much to say to ya."
And then, it all faded to black.
This blanket is scratchy as hell, you mindlessly remarked. It was almost like a thin sheet, barely coating you, and you think if you moved your arms, it would make that noise that shitty bedsheets did. Why were hospital beds so bad? Shouldn't they be comfortable?
And then your nose was hit with the heavy sterilized air. You scrunched your nose up on instinct, it made your throat burn-
"Y/N? Darlin'?"
You slowly blinked your eyes open, heavy and languid; they always had those florescent lights too. How was that helpful?
"'S too fucking bright in here."
You heard him laugh a little, maybe in relief mostly, and you blearily blinked to get a look at him.
"'D turn it down for ya if I could."
You laughed a little and squinted your eyes open, laying gently on him. He looked a little worse for wear, his hair messy and shirt a little crooked. You wanted to fix his curls back in place, and your hand moved before you could stop it.
Gently, you threaded his hair back. He was a breath away from where you laid, so it wasn't too far of a reach.
Rick looked at you so softly, that the words cut off your from your lips. And with a breath, he pulled your hand down from his hair, sliding it against his cheek. Before you could say a word about it, he turned his head and gently kissed your palm.
You bit at your lip, eyes flickering over him, "How long have you been here?"
"Since the doc' allowed me to be," he answered, fidgeting with your hand -not really wanting to let go, you guessed.
"And Mags?" You asked, concern flickering through your eyes, "-Are she and the baby okay?"
"Yeah," he looked at you, a little in disbelief, "-they're alright. She was stressed, yeah, but Glenn kept 'er calm."
"And," your eyes darted to your abdomen, where your wound now hid, "-the wound?"
"Good," he replied, eyes swimming over you like he couldn't quite believe you were okay, "-Doc' says ya just need to rest, not irritate the stitches. Which I kno' will be hard for ya."
You sighed, leaning your head back onto the bed, looking up at the ceiling, "I am going to be so bored."
Rick chuckled a little, before falling suspiciously quiet. You turned to him, just to see him looking down and fidgeting with your hand -a little like he was working on saying something. You simply waited.
"'Ve been looking for those batteries since ya said ya wanted 'em," he spoke, a little quietly.
You froze, "Since the prison?"
"Yeah," he offered, "-apparently 'ey're a hot commodity."
"Why?" You questioned, looking at him curiously, "-Why all that work for some batteries?"
"Because," he hummed simply, eyes matching yours now, "-ya wanted 'em."
You pushed your lips into a thin line, the glimmer of hope sparking in your chest. Not saying a word, you just stared at him for a second; not unlike in the early days, you were just admiring him for a lot more than his (still unbelievably handsome) face.
"Y/N, I-" he started, eyes dipping back down to your hands. He seemed to pause a moment, debating.
And then he looked up at you, eyes set in his path -unflinchingly. In a sort of understanding, like everything made sense to him now. The silence was heavy until he leaned forward and brushed his hand along your cheek -carefully. It made you feel precious, and your eyes maybe got a little cloudy because of it.
"I'm in love with ya," he let out a breath, tone heavy and genuine, "-an... and the way ya blatantly hit on me but in the damn most genuine type of way."
You laughed a little and leaned gently into his palm. He looked at you in a way you couldn't label then, or maybe you could (love), and rubbed his thumb along your cheekbone.
"I didn't know how to react to it, at first," he hummed, something settled in his eyes, "-the attention ya gave me. 'S somethin' I've never dealt with before."
"Really?" You let slip past your lips, and his grin grew wide as he let his head fall and shook it, smiling at the ground.
"Even now," he laughed a little, turning his gaze up again, "-ya always said thin's like it was so easy to do. Like ya were tellin' me 'at the sun was hot."
"You did give me some pretty good set ups," you clarified, smiling at him.
"'Never meant to," he added, grinning a little in wonder, "-I couldn't think straight when ya said 'em, so I'm surprised I even did."
You hummed, eyes twinkling at him and he looked at you just a little more like he was in love. It made a spark shoot down to your toes, warmth flooding your chest.
"If it's worth anything," you spoke, a little embarrassed, "-my brain stops working when you do the fond thing."
"The fond thing?"
"It's just," you sighed, trying to articulate, "-It's a way that you look at me, or... or smile at me. When you do the soft stuff."
"What exactly is-" he hummed, gently, holding your attention like your words really mattered, "-'the soft stuff'?"
"Uh," you blew a raspberry with your lips, "-like giving me the batteries, and... and that whole conversation actually."
"Oh," he laughed a little, blue eyes twinkling, "-like I was in love with ya."
"What? No, you weren't... not that early-"
And then you looked at him.
"Shit," you marveled, "-really?"
"Like I said," he smiled at you, a little like you were cute, "-I looked for those batteries for months. For ya. An'-"
His face got a little more serious.
"-I really missed ya. 'At was probably when I first realized it."
You rolled your lip inbetween your teeth, "Yeah?"
"Ya used to make everybody laugh, and were always smilin'-" he explained, "-it wasn't even just the flirtin', it was just... I knew ya were hurtin', an' I couldn't help. Or I... I didn't know what to do to help."
You just stared.
"An' I missed ya so desperately, I just-" he let out a breath, "-It all clicked into place, and I went on 'at run, hopin' to god there were batteries-"
You laughed a little weepily, leaning into his hand.
"-because I just wanted to make ya feel better. Bring ya back to me."
"How the hell did you even find them?" You questioned, wiping at your eyes, "-It couldn't have been that lucky."
"'Wasn't," he replied simply, "-I was only supposed to do a few stores, I did the whole strip."
"God, really?" You smiled, "-For batteries?"
"No," he hummed, simply, "-for ya."
You fell quiet.
"I would do anythin' for ya," he added, voice a little breathless, "-anythin'."
"Anything?"
Rick laughed a little, grin bright, "Ya need to rest, baby."
"That's not a no," you chimed, grinning.
He looked at you a certain type of way then, "'S definitely not a no."
You felt your heart pound in your chest for a moment. That was something to look forward to. Something stirred in your stomach.
"What?" He asked, teasing, "-Ya all bark and no bite, hmm?"
"If I wasn't bedridden," you spoke flatly, "-I would kick your ass."
"Ya would," he agreed.
And you laughed, eyes smoothing over his face. Before noticing something you hadn't quite said yet.
Words fell out of your lips, "Even though you probably already know, because I've chasing you all this time-"
He smiled at you.
"-I love you too," you finished, "-if it wasn't obvious."
"'Was kinda obvious," he leveled -teasing, but something was sparkling so bright in his eyes that you didn't really mind.
"Yeah, yeah," you moved your hand dismissively, "-don't start, sheriff."
You paused for a moment, eyes dancing along the room, "Do I get to go home today?"
"No," he spoke, with a certainty that shook through your bones (this man had literally everything), "-'Need to be taken care of, so ya are stayin' wit' me until you're healed."
You blinked at him, he was doing the fond thing again. Your mind relaxed to a low hum.
"Maybe after too," he added, tone softer but not any less certain, "-if ya want."
You stared at him, wordless.
Rick blinked, looking at you, before grinning, "'At the fond thing?"
"Yeah," you cleared your throat, embarrassed, "-I don't... It's been a long time since I've been cared for. At all. And you're a very handsome man offering to-"
"Not offerin'," he clarified, eyes set on yours, "-just doin'. 'Specially now, 'cause I kno' ya love me too."
All headstrong, decisive, and certain. How was this happening to you?
"'Thought you said it was obvious?"
"It was," he hummed, grinning at you, "-I could just barely wrap my head around ya flirtin' with me. Couldn't really see it."
You thought for a second, before speaking, "Was it Daryl?"
He grinned at you, tilting his head a little, "Maybe."
"Always knew he was a big softie," you hummed, "-read him like a book when we first met. Stone layers to an ooey-gooey center."
Rick scrunched up his nose, "Ooey-gooey center?"
"Sometimes," you sighed, "-Sometimes I say stupid shit around really attractive people. It's a habit."
"'Guess 'at means you're still gonna be flirting with me?"
"As long as you want me to, sheriff," you clarified.
"So maybe forever then," he grinned and you felt your heart leap into your chest (fuck his fond things). You were totally never getting over that.
"Yeah," you hummed in agreement, "-Maybe forever then."
Mission accomplished.
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omgggg, that Toji x reader (*plus* Naoya) was incredibleee, ignore me if you want, I know you made Toji chosing to keep distance from reader and Megumi permanently BUT what if one day he ends up finally seeing Megumi, either personally or by pictures/videos 🥺 We know Megumi it's the spitted image of him, I mean, Gojo's face when he saw him for the first time said it all 😅 And also knowing his baby has the Ten Shadows technique (I cant stop thinking about how proud he was in the canon manga/anime 🥺 he always KNEW from the start Megumi was blessed/gifted, since his first breath, the fact Toji named him is not random) making the entire Zenin clan eat their shit
Heya anon!!
I'm so glad you liked it heheheheheheh a oneshot that I didn't intend to write but it just happened!! aren't we glad it did? lol
I didn't mean to ignore you, I was only focusing on other things first 😅 oof, I still have lots of request to go through, which I plan to do it slowly but surely...
Anyways, I might've not gone down that route, however... why not something angsty? I mean 😏I've had this in my mind so... yeah 😏😏😏😏😏😏😏
Warnings: mentions of infidelity. Pregnancy. Naoya is, unfortunately, a prick. this is the oneshot anon is talking about. 100% read that first hehe. this is an AU from that, so the second part doesn't count??? I guess. excuse the proofreading. also I haven't written toji that much so please excuse my oocness as well ahahahahha :')
Happy reading!
As much as the three hoped to ignore the bases of your pregnancy, behave as it didn’t rise from an adulterous act, a direct transgression to the principles of the Zen’in, and keep it a secret, it wouldn’t take long before the guilt in each other’s mind began to weight heavy on their mind, ultimately betraying them and revealing the truth to the light, excusing the angered elders to finally get rid of two birds with one stone.
“Where—Where does this accusation even come from?!” You gasp, blood turning cold at the implication—at the notion of the truth. “Do you know the gravity of such words?!”
“Better than you of the act, it seems.” Another accuses. “We were quite aware of the rumors surrounding your ill-fitting behavior, but we never believed it would actually extend to this point!”
“I—I won’t tolerate neither of you disrespecting me!” you cry. “Nor will Naoya for that matter!”
But calling for his aid would no longer prove sufficient, for Naoya, too deep in his own insecurities by that point, had come to the disheartening conclusion that this situation had gotten way out of hand for a simple diversion.
A supposed act of mercy.
He shouldn’t have let this happen in the first place, should’ve respected what you and your marriage represented, what meant to him, and discard his pity for Toji—the man has been alone most of his life, what difference would that make that now?
But he didn’t, he allowed you to go to Toji—no, he handed you over to him, thinking he was doing something right for his cousin, or perhaps something deep inside him was allured by the sick idea of you being with another man and now, he was suffering the consequences.
Consequences he did not like, not one bit—because it got too real for him: you were now pregnant, with Toji’s child, and not his.
And this only highlighted what he considered the pitfalls of this relationship, a strike against his ego and the supposed inability to beget children, a rumor that grew bigger and bigger by each passing day, spreading like wildfire to the point where even outsiders became aware of it.
Which, for a prideful man like Naoya, was only a nightmare.
He loved you, he really did—Naoya never envisioned spending the rest of his life with anyone else…
But he loved his pride more, and when his clan began to actively confront him about it, he couldn’t take it anymore.
And thus….
“…Naoya?”
“This marriage was broken before it even started.” Your husband would say, unexpected words that pierced straight to your heart. “My family advised me well in avoiding you, but I falsely believed I could achieve differently.”
“What—what are you even saying?” you breathe. “What do you mean by—by differently?”
And… where does everything you lived with him stand?
The time you spent with him, the sweet nothings he’d whisper into your ear, to love you both swore to one another, reminding each other that there was no one else that compares…
And that you were the only woman who has ever made him feel this way—loved— and would do everything in the world to make happy…
Was it… all … a lie?
All for… nothing?
Or were you the only one that actually believed the other’s words?
“I cannot look past these transgressions.” Naoya continues. “You’ve left me no choice.”
“But you—you made me do this!” you gasp. “I never—I never wanted to be with anyone else! All this time, my heart only belonged to you! How could you—how could you abandon me after all we’ve gone through together?!”
Naoya doesn’t say anything else anymore, instead, he simply turns around, exiting the room to leave you in the hands of the vengeful elders who did not hesitate to do what they had long desired—banish you from the estate.
Swiftly yet cruelly, you wouldn’t be able to take anything with you, not even a change of clothes or even money (you didn’t even ask for much, just enough to survive the week) as you were forced to face a new life of your own—alone, pregnant.
Going back to your family was also out of the question; the shame that you’d bring upon their name was one the Zen’in didn’t not waste time to remind them of—at the end, there was only so much your father and siblings could do against the invasive ways of the elders, and perhaps, a part of them deep inside, were also disappointed that you’ve succumbed to such foul thing.
And so, you were tossed onto the street, with nothing more than the clothes you were wearing, whatever you had for savings throughout the years, managed to take it out before either clan could close your account—but most importantly, with a broken heart you believe will never heal, not after the grave wound your husband’s indifference inflicted on it.
The pain you couldn’t even mourn properly due to all the things you had to worry about now.
The first thing you did was search for a place to stay, though getting one was proving to be an almost impossible task.
Thankfully, you were allowed to keep one other thing, maybe it eluded their minds when all this was happening, but you’re not going to question why when it was going to help you pay for a roof.
Naoya’s ring, your wedding ring, was something many would consider expensive, the kind of flashiness expected from a prestigious family like the Zen’in.
You remember a time when any kind of ring would’ve been enough for you to marry him. You didn’t need anything extraordinary to commit your life and heart to him.
That’s nothing but a far cry from what you felt now.
It still hurt to pawn it, but it was the only way you could accommodate yourself and the unborn child inside you, in the only area you could afford with what you got, for even then many suspected that your ring… well, had dubious origins.
When was the last time you even had to worry about the costs of living? Food, clothes, water…?
Many years—it had to; ever since you got together with Naoya, he’s been the one that took care of you.
You just had to say the word and he’d disappear all of your worries—even from the simplest of wants, Naoya indulgingly obliged.
It was a happy life you eventually considered for your child—imagining how happy they’d grow to be without a single worry, solely focusing on what they’ll have to play that day, or how to escape their over doting parents.
A long-gone dream, tossed to the side as a nightmare quickly took its place.
…
Did Naoya ever mean the words I love you?
Or was he doing all this just to keep you there, complying, just in case someone better came along, just like his clan wished would happen?
There mere thought of his devotion being nothing but an act tightens your heart with sorrow once more, gifting you the tragic notion that perhaps, all this time, you never knew your husband…
Maybe ex-husband, by this point.
All that was left from those moments, the slightest semblance of that marriage was this baby, created from what you thought your unconditional devotion to him, turning out to be your very own downfall.
The only one that would know of these struggles would be your baby, the one to accompany you through the darkest point of your life, hopefully to a brigther dawn.
And yet… you’ve never felt so alone.
Time surprisingly, went quicker than you anticipated, though not as easy as you would’ve wanted.
Life in your new home was still very difficult to get used to, even when it’s been months since… that.
But with the job you managed to get (whatever place hired pregnant women—they’re supposed to be at home, some would say, you didn’t care.) and some extra jujutsu work you did on the side, you managed, enough to give you a, not exactly comfortable, but just enough lifestyle.
As long as you sacrificed all the things you once considered granted and turned them into luxuries: such as warm showers, take out, and the sweets you liked to indulge once in a while; your pregnancy has been horrible because of that, and that’s without considering the medical bills you’re struggling to pay as well.
But if that wasn’t enough, your noisy neighbors presented issues of their own as well.
You’re not going to deny that your presence there was like moths to a flame, starting from your somewhat suspicious acquisition—all cash—of the small house you were living in.
From there, your loneliness, alongside your pregnancy; single mothers were unheard of, or rather, highly criticized, thus, all eyes were on you, down to your smallest movement.
Yet, even then, as annoying as they were, you were ok as long as it meant you never get to see those that hurt you ever again.
However, what you want isn’t necessarily what’s going to happen, and that would be reminded of one fateful night with an unsuspecting knock, just after you were getting ready to go to bed.
It wouldn’t be the first time someone came to bother you, but it would be the first time someone did so at this hour, and with such insistence that far from worrying you, it made you angrily storm at the entrance, ready to demand who’d be so inconsiderate enough to visit you so late at night!
And you’d get your answer soon enough, in the most shocking, horrifying, if not sorrowful manner you could’ve possibly anticipated, prompting you to close the door as soon as you saw his face, or attempted to, his reflexes much faster than yours.
“Get—get away from me!” you shrieked, hands trembling as you did your best to hold the door shut against his overwhelming strength— but even your husband has admitted that in terms of power, he excels like no one else.
“Y/N—” he breathes, somewhat amused that you’d been able to hold him off as much as you could, though eventually he was able to break free from your grasp and enter your home, you step away from him soon after.
“What are you even doing here?!” you gasp. “No—that doesn’t matter! I don’t want to see you! I’m not going back!”
“I’m not here to take you back” He quickly responds, eyes falling down to your stomach, making his face soften at the subtle bump evident through your clothes—with this sight, he knows he can’t take you back.
“Then—then why are you here, Toji?”
Perhaps Toji needed to see through his own eyes, what the whispers went on about at the estate regarding your absence.
He wasn’t there when it happened, promised himself to be far away from you as soon as your pregnancy was announced to the estate.
Toji would’ve normally taken this opportunity to act on retribution against his family, rub it on their face that the future of the clan came from him, a low life.
But he couldn’t bring himself to do so when you cheerfully paraded around the halls, happy to finally be forming a family with your beloved husband, even though it wasn’t of his making.
For the first time in his life, he thought himself to be too cruel for having planned such atrocities against the only person that has never been rude with him, always welcoming him with a smile on your face, or at least whatever you permitted when not following Naoya around like a lost puppy.
And the baby… well, he won’t deny that he was glad that his child would have a vastly different life from his—with you as his mother, it couldn’t be any other way.
Or so he believed.
Even when promising to keep away, he still attempted to check in on you, especially now that you were pregnant, whenever he had to go to the estate that is. That day was no be no exception, begrudgingly coming back to see what else he could scam out of his family to ensure his living outside.
Toji’s slyly scanned the hallways for your figure, the briefest indication of such, either through your giggle, staff, or even his cousin’s annoying voice—there were moments where he imagined how delightful it must’ve been to have you by his side, instead of Naoya’s; to be receiver of your laughter instead of that man who clearly didn’t deserve you.
But even if it was with him, he still found comfort in the fact that you were around, there.
Not like now, gone from Naoya’s side.
In fact, you were nowhere to be seen! Not with your staff, not eating by the gardens, or even indulging in one of your husband’s idiocies.
Nothing.
And no one had seen you either.
Or more like didn’t want to say, that much became evident when he stomped his way towards a nearby staff member, demanding your whereabouts, only to be responded with a fret falsely feigning ignorance, or foolish diplomacy.
At the prospect of your disappearance, Toji felt his blood run cold, almost like the estate lost whatever little warmth it had, worsening each time he asked another servant, and he’d get the same answer.
The implications behind your absence were growing heavier in his mind, to the point it sunk his heart to his stomach…
And propelled him to the one person who would undoubtedly know where you were.
“Naoya—Where is Y/N?!” Toji commands the moment he sees the heir, the young man instinctively flinched at the sight of his angered cousin, almost as if he knew what was running through his mind and attempted to make a run for it, only to be stopped by the collar, dead on his tracks. “Do not run away, coward! Answer me!”
“She’s—she’s not here anymore.” Is what Naoya manages to squeak, but Toji doesn’t need to be reminded the obvious.
“Where. Is. She.” He hisses, the worst of his assumptions slowly becoming a reality. “What have you done to her?!”
“What—what needed to be done!” Naoya gasps. “I—I couldn’t allow it!”
Toji doesn’t remember much after Naoya told him that the clan decided she was better off on her own—only that the heir was on the floor, bloodied and whimpering while attempting to cover his face, either trying to control the throbbing of his skin, the blood from spilling anywhere else, or perhaps even shame.
No. It couldn’t be the last. To have done something like what he did required a shameless man to do so.
Nonetheless Toji didn’t bother to find out nor to be reprimanded, quick to assert what needed to be done and heading out the estate; he couldn’t even bother cursing those that had done nothing but the worst after the worst, each time a new low, for his mind solely pertained in finding you.
It took him a while to do so, as expected, but he knew it was only a matter of asking around for a woman that simply didn’t fit to do the job—and such, here he is now.
“I want—needed to see you.” Toji takes a step closer.
“Get—get away from me.”
“No, I’m afraid I can’t do that.”
“You were fine doing that before—what’s so different from now?” You spat.
“This is different, Y/N. You’re alone—and you need me.”
“I’m not alone—I don’t need you.” You gasp. “Get away from me or I’ll—I’ll call the police!.”
“If you don’t need me, then the baby does.”
It’s like he struck a nerve with his words, because soon after tears would begin to fall down your cheeks, revealing that the sight you attempted to portray, the strength you so fiercely put up against him, was nothing but a façade, a way to hide the fact that indeed, you needed help.
Exhausted from facing all these uncertainties on your own, afraid.
But not anymore, not when Toji was here, more than willing to step in, as seen in the way he swiftly holds you in his arms when he sees you almost faint from distress, attempting to comfort you as you continued to cry.
“Get— get away from me…!” you’d say again, still fighting against his hold. However, he doesn’t fight it, he simply allows you to vent, taking in all the pain and hatred your heart harbored from the moment you were kicked out of the estate. “Don’t touch me!”
“I’m not leaving” Toji insists, he feels you trying to squirm your way out from him, but his strength doesn’t allow it. “You can struggle all you want, but I’m not leaving you on your own—”
“What difference does it make to you? Your family abandoned me to my luck! And even forced my family to do the same!” you breathe, Toji’s eyes widen—he did not know that; his fury for the Zen’in grows, but this is not the time to deal with that. “They don’t care if I die on the street!”
“I know.” He murmurs, holding you tighter against him.
“And I—And I tried my best to—to move on, but I can’t! I can’t do it!” you sob. “I’m so alone, and scared, and—and ashamed! I don’t want to live like this anymore!! I don’t want to die!”
“…I know.”
“Why—why is this happening to me?! All I ever wanted was for—was for Naoya to love me. I never wanted anything else! I never wanted money, I never wanted to hurt anyone either! I just—I just wanted to live a happy life with him, to make him happy!
But then he—he tossed me away, at one thing he didn’t like, he acted like I didn’t even matter! He didn’t even put up a fight to defend me! he just—he just let them hurt me, like what we had was—a lie!
Did he never—did he even love me?”
Speechless, all Toji could do is continue holding you as you kept on pouring out your feelings, hearing the heart wrenching sound of your sobs that just kept reflecting how wounded you were by Naoya’s betrayal, the transgressions of his family, and the disappointment of yours.
And all because of something you didn’t even suggest in the first place. It was him who made his way into Naoya’s mind, and eventually, it was Naoya who pushed you into it, regardless of what happened later.
He wanted to do it; you know?
He wanted to go back there and murder them for all they’d done against you.
But when he left that place one last time, he promised he would stop thinking about himself, and start doing what is right—what was needed.
If Naoya wasn’t to step up and be a man, then he would.
Toji would gladly throw away his own pride, his own anger and thirst for vengeance, just to see you safe and happy once more.
Things your husband, could simply not—but he… he’d do it in a heartbeat.
“I promise you.” Toji would reassure you once carefully placing you down to the bed after tiring yourself from crying, followed by a gentle kiss on the top of your head.
“I swear, Y/N— I will not let my family do the same things they’ve done to me to our child. Even if it costs me my life, I will do everything in my power to keep the two of you safe.”
And unlike your husband, he means it.
Yes, a second part is coming :) just gotta put this one out first hehe.
Anyways, it's not exactly what you asked but I think it's going there??? I mean Toji STEPPED UP and was like OK imma take care of my baby mama. also, here Naoya .I. put it where it fits. ugh, can't say we're done with him...
agihajkgksa I'm excited for what's to come, I haven't written this level of angst in a while!! oof!!!
Thank you so much for your patience and for sending this ask :> I'm super happy you've like my oneshot so much!! I hope you'll be able to like this too!!
Take care, and see you soon! ❤️❤️
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