#it will never fail to make me laugh how fucked up some operators are

[arkiwii]

welcome to rhodes island, my pharmeutical company. here we want to restore equality in society and cure a terminal disease. let me present you to some of our operators

we have dorothy franks. she's a very brillant scientist and created an huge amalgam resulting from an experience using innocents lives, which almost destroyed the entire country it was in. she's really nice and kind

there we have loughshinny dublinn, they served as the leader of a terrorist revolutionary group that caused several assaults in victoria. they did not meant it

here's w. she's also a terrorist but she meant it

hey here's lappland saluzzo. her disease has rendered her completely mad and she is behind countless slaughters. i forgot why she's here

and here's ho'olheyak, she did several murder attempts on me. we can change the subject if you want

#arknights squad concept #only terrorists #it will never fail to make me laugh how fucked up some operators are #ESPECIALLY when i try to explain the lore of some operators to friends who don't know arknights #and they are just #“what's the goal of your company already?” #yeah we're tryna cure cancer. is there something you didn't understand #arknights

[kieransometimesthinks]

I’m on my lunch break at work, so here’s my opinion on whether or not you could successfully get Fallout 4 companions with a ligma joke.

• Cait - You’d have to get real fucking creative because she’s heard a metric fuck ton of ligma jokes. I’m not sure you’d actually want to succeed though because she *would* make you (or at least your kneecaps) regret that accomplishment.

• Codsworth - You could definitely get him with some. Any attempt after your first one that he successfully picked up on would be met with a disappointed response of “Ligma balls, Mr. ____?”

• Curie - You could get her with literally every attempt. She’ll never understand why you think it’s funny and she’ll have very literal questions about it. “But why does it remind you of ligma balls? Why would you tell me to lick them?”

• Paladin Danse - It’s 50/50 on whether or not you succeed. He is a military man, after all. He’ll never dignify you with a reaction to it though, just ignoring you to focus on the task at hand.

• Deacon - You’ll never get this man with a ligma joke. It’s just not possible. It’s not even that he always knows what you’re doing, he’s just so suspicious of anything anyone says that he’ll derail the conversation with some ridiculous story about how he had to change his face after an operation failed due a ligma outbreak or something.

• Dogmeat - He’s not capable of understanding ligma jokes, but he likes hearing you laugh so he’s a fan of you cracking them.

• Hancock - You’ll probably never get him with one, but he’d be absolutely thrilled if you could. Anytime you try to get him, he just says the punchline himself and makes a suggestive remark about how all you need to do is name the time and place.

• MacCready - You can get him, but it will come at the cost of inciting a full scale war. He will become obsessed with formulating strategies to get you with ligma jokes. All your conversations with him will be nothing but ligma set ups. He’ll have a blast though.

• Valentine - You could probably get him at least once, but regardless of whether or not you succeed the reaction would be the same. Just a tired, slightly amused “Really?”

• Piper - You could get her with a ligma joke exactly *one* time. After that she will be so paranoid that she will never continue a conversation with you after any suspicious statement until she’s thoroughly grilled you about your intentions.

• Preston - You can get him, but he will be so disappointed. Both in you and in himself. It won’t be a fun time.

• Strong - Not only can you get him with a ligma joke, you can also convince him that it has something to do with the milk of human kindness. This will inevitably and hilariously lead to him telling people that he “needs ligma balls to drink human milk”.

• X6-88 - You can’t really get him because he will confidently tell you that whatever you’re referencing is nonsense. The institute has no record of ligma and has done thorough scans of the commonwealth so no such thing exists.

• Ada - You could totally get her with a ligma joke but like, why would you? Maybe take some time to reflect on why you want to do this.

• Old Longfellow - There’s no way he’s falling for it. Ligma jokes are older than the commonwealth and he’s heard his fair share. He doesn’t begrudge the attempt though.

• Porter Gage - About one in every four attempts will land, and he’ll enjoy each one. He’s always looking for more to add to his repertoire.

Anyways, my break is about over so have fun with this I guess.

#fallout #fallout 4

[biquinntile]

TLDR: My biggest frustration being a late-diagnosed autistic is getting my brain to re-frame any of my behaviors. I’m having trouble figuring out how to help myself.

I was abused growing up, including some medical abuse, but my mom knew I had ADHD and lied to me and convinced me I didn’t. She never got a diagnosis but would ask me questions like “What are you, autistic?” I didn’t really understand what either of these terms meant back in 2012 when I was 13/14. So of course I said no, not even realizing until later that this was a rhetorical question (I am sighing so hard rn).

Fast forward to now, me age 26, being recently diagnosed as a person with ADHD and Autism. I spent my entire life up until now masking but even that feels like a weird word to use because it was never intentional. If I had needs not being met, I would find a way to get them met without talking to anyone or I would ignore them/push them away so that I “didnt have” that need anymore. In social situations, I made a lot of mistakes and found myself being very confused…so I would avoid being social altogether, or I would drill myself relentlessly before and after any social situation…and I mean any social situation. I remember people always criticizing me for “taking the long way” or not taking the most efficient route, but for me the “most efficient” route has never given me the results I wanted. It felt like I was a robot who had to constantly tinker with my own parts, with the goal being that one day I would be able to exist with other people naturally the way they do with each other. Not a robot, a person.

It’s very difficult to wrap my head around this not being a plausible goal anymore. I spent so long doing what was more difficult to mask symptoms I didn’t know I was masking. I spent my entire life operating under the belief that everybody was trying as hard as me to deal with sensory and socialization and all that jazz, it’s just that I was too weak to do it as well as they did. And it didn’t matter because I was doomed to fail.

I’m really working hard to not have such negative beliefs about being neurodivergent but it’s difficult bc in my brain I always hoped that one day I would just suddenly flip a switch and things would be easier. I would understand people and they would understand me. I wouldn’t spend weeks (if not months) obsessing over one singular topic. When I look back on moments where the autism was probably showing, I have all these memories of my parents calling me aggressive/angsty/spoiled/stupid/lazy/sensitive/etc. My stepdad would always say “You can’t be that stupid” and in my head, I would say “Well I guess I fucking am.”

All this to say, I have a lot of trouble now even recognizing when I’m doing a form of “masking” because it is so ingrained in me, and had I not done it, I would have faced worse abuse than I already had been facing. It took me until I was 24 to realize I was wearing a size too small in shoes because I believed a level of discomfort was just always a part of life, for EVERYONE not just me. I recently realized that I am not capable of crying in front of other people, even people I care about and trust, because when I used to cry people would find my reasoning trivial or tell me that I was too sensitive and they would (and I wish I was kidding) laugh or make fun of me. That is a silly thing to make fun of someone for, I know now, but I’m not sure how to change the behavior. I find day after day that there are a million things I’ve been overcompensating for or putting up with that I thought was normal or I thought I needed to do to keep up with everyone else (no wonder I feel so tired all the fucking time damn).

All this to say, I’m not even exactly sure what autistic symptoms I have or how to tackle them or even really how masking works entirely. I feel like I don’t know anything about myself. I don’t know how to help myself. Where do I even start? People keep throwing this “high-functioning” term at me, which I guess is fair, but I also feel like my bones ache at all times and I have constant rapid-fire anxious thoughts filling up my brain and I constantly feel like everyone on the earth is touching me and crowding me, even when I’m alone in my room. So I guess if I can keep pushing myself through those feelings, I’ll be fine and functioning fine but I don’t really think I can do that anymore.

Any advice or reading material would be greatly appreciated. Sorry if I didn’t explain things well. I’m trying my best out here

#autism #neurodivergent #late diagnosed autistic #audhd #actually autistic #autistic adult #idk man

[letmeinnnnn]

Eddie Munson

“Why are people so connected to this character?”

I was roped into watching Stranger Things season 4 after never taking the time to even watch season 3 because I happened to see some pictures of this guy, this new cast member in Stranger Things- I’m immediately drawn in by the 80s metalhead aesthetic because it is right up my alley and happens to be “a look” (tm) that I adore.

So I cave and watch the first episode, Eddie’s introduced and immediately I’m like, this guy has a lot of energy and then-- oh god he’s really climbing onto the table and making a scene. People shout “loser”/jock-boy calls him a freak and then Eddie takes the insult, folds it into a crown and wears the hell out of it.

I am immediately struck by the CONFIDENCE. This guy does not give a FUCK. He’s loud, kind of obnoxious, and very weird-- and I LOVE IT. He then goes around and is able to make all of his friends smile and laugh; his charisma commands the entire cafeteria scene.

He’s a roughly 20-21 year-old in high school; he’s failed senior year twice, but he’s somehow radiating coolness and it’s clear how everyone in the “nerds and freaks” group looks up to him. 

That level of self confidence and zero fucks given attitude is so admirable in my eyes; he never stops being himself. I can only wish I could be like that, and I think a lot of people feel the same, which is why Eddie comes off being so cool and likable. It’s only the tip of the iceberg really, but I felt like sharing my first reaction. 

So you’re still kind of on the fence about Eddie at this point-- Cut to the next scene with Eddie and Chrissy in the woods. Even though Eddie and Chrissy operate in very different “high school worlds”, he’s so nice to her. He goes out of his way to make her feel comfortable and smile because he can tell she’s going through some shit and is out of her comfort zone. It is such a sweet scene! Any reservations about him being a total asshole are pretty much out the window at this point

I think we were ROBBED of more Eddie/Steve interactions. I really wanted more of those two conversing.

There’s something to be said about how they’re both c.20 years old, both only appear to have friends younger than them, and both are stuck in a “deadbeat” situation- Eddie being the guy who failed senior year twice and Steve being the guy who couldn’t get into college and works at the ice cream/video rental store.(I’ll also point out that despite failing twice, Eddie is still trying to graduate, he hasn’t given up, another endearing quality)

Eddie lives in a trailer park, sells drugs, and we find out lives with his uncle (we can only theorize why), but these facts paint a particular picture.

Traditional society looks down on people in their circumstances, so-called “losers”; no future-- But, uh, guess what? High school reputation doesn’t amount to shit, lots of people don’t go to college, and working a “common/unskilled” job doesn’t dictate a person’s worth. Eddie and Steve are badasses who’ve faced and fought greater horrors than nearly the entire of the population in their universe- they chose to be brave and fight and protect the people they care about (and even those they don’t really care about). I’ll also point out that Eddie is clearly very passionate about metal and playing guitar, as demonstrated by his SICK skills, and you know he didn’t learn that in school.

((While not canon or explicitly stated- Eddie also comes off as ADHD coded with his level of energy and nature, which obviously would play a role in maybe making it harder for him to focus on things like school and studying (another relatable quality for many people) especially if he already has a hard time with those things. Like I said above, the fact that Eddie is still trying to graduate despite it all makes me think more on this- that he isn’t just lazy or something, though that could very well be a large part of it haha))

There’s also the interesting juxtaposition of Eddie and Steve’s respective high school reputations and how much/little they cared about it. They’re different, but they also have a lot in common and I’m glad Dustin was able to bridge the gap between them. There is also much to be said about Eddie acting as such a great friend and role model for Dustin as well. The love in their friendship is so heart-warming; how can you not smile when watching them? How can you not want to be friends with this guy?

I just wish we could have seen more, UGH.

#eddie munson deserved better #stranger things #eddie munson #steddie #stranger things season 4 #spoilers #stranger things spoilers #they may say he is cringe. but he is free. #i just have a lot feelings about this character #(think his arc was too on the nose #(and the ending felt unnecessary and cheap #lots of character potential. writers really missed the ball

[hawkinshellraiser]

@ems-roleplay-blog

"Aw, come on. You're gonna make me cry, doofus." Despite his comment, it did make him feel a little better. Not because he thought she'd think any less of him. That was absolutely one of the last things he expected from this conversation. But it was one of those things that was nice to hear. "Alright. So, this hypothetical, which isn't actually a hypothetical." He cleared his throat and considered the most tactful way to tell his best friend that while she had been worried about him, he'd been having very slippery shower sex.

"Um. So. Long story short, Eddie kind of fucked me last night. In my shower. Because of the bat bites? Which I think kind of messed with our endorphins." He was torn on whether or not he was thankful they were talking about this in the car. On the one hand, he had to really focus on the road. On the other hand, he didn't have to look at her in his tomato-faced glory.

"Hm. Ok. Alright." She was by no means perfectly well-versed in the world of the Upside Down, so she supposed the idea that wasn't far out there. "Hory juice." She scrunched up her nose. "You really have a way with your words." She teased him, hoping to lighten the mood at least a little bit.

"Alright. I'm going to provide you with some insight here. Steve and I dated for a while, and we were friends way before that, so I like to think that I know him well enough." She put a hand on his knee. "You're definitely not scaring him away. He didn't stop talking to you, he gotvery close and very personal with you,so, consider him not scared away." She pressed her lips into a thin line and considered her next words. "He doesn't just have sex for the hell of it. Bat venom or not, that's not how he operates. So there's a good bet that whatever feelings your feeling, he is too."

Robin's jaw dropped open and she quickly covered it with her hand to keep herself from making any comments before she really thought about it. Sure, she could tell that there had at some point been a spark between Steve and Eddie. She just didn't expect the fire to come so soon. "Okay..." she said slowly, nodding her head a few times. "Okay. Okay. That isn't exactly what I thought you were gonna say. But definitely one of the better outcomes." She inspected him over a few times, taking serious note of the flush in his cheeks and slightly nervous energy. "Is was... cause of the bat bites. Don't take this the wrong way, but are you completely sure about that?"

Eddie managed a laugh. "What can I say, English is the only subject I never failed." He looked down at her hand on his knee before putting his own over it. "Look, it's not that I don't think you know him well, or anything. But..." he shook his head and let out a frustrated sigh. "I'm not you, Wheeler. I'm not some smart and pretty girl next door. Fuckin look at me." With his free hand he gestured to himself. "Aside from my basic anatomy I'm a trailer trash, drug dealing and using metalhead nerd. People like Steve don't feel things for people like me. And, I mean, that's not what I expect at all. I just don't want him to suddenly get his panties in a twist about it and kick me out because I don't exactly have a lot of options right now."

#🖤 / heaven is a place on earth with you: musing #🖤 / ems roleplay blog

[lepidopterann]

ramblings about self ship fic idea between me n faust guilty gear [part one, pre story stuff + doodles ]

so . my plan is , i am a mortician at the hospital where baldhead (and i think i might go w the name jian ? for him prior to the serial killer stuff. ive seen it used a few times and its cute. and dr baldhead sounds more like a name given to a serial killer. like how jack the ripper ? yea) works, and im. a little salty bc jian is Such A Good Doctor that i never get anyone to process except people who died like days or weeks ago or the elderly.  but jian is so sweet and polite, great with patients and especially kids (he does little magic tricks to cheer them up or distract them, reads to them in his spare time)), but is a little timid w large group of people. and good lord is he a workaholic.  so i , as a coworker, ensure he doesnt overdo it. which he does. sometimes he has to get dragged out of the office, and i (not having as much to work to do as others) take him out to dinner! bc this mf cannot cook. he subsists off of leftovers and ready to eat meal type stuff.  at some point prior to story, jian does my back surgery. as someone scared of going under the knife, but who has had really bad backpain for a long time, its like. very trusting. when recovery at hospital is done adn i can go home, he helps out around the place, justifying it by goin like “well you help me out with stuff so naturally i should help you! its only fair” and he fucking sucks at cooking and orders takeout a lot and helps clean up and . if he spends the night thats not anyone elses business

[at this point we both consider eachother friends, but jian harbors a minor crush bc most people only talk to him for his abilities, and here i am, asking how his knitting is going or telling him funny stories about bodies ive embalmed]

and then we get to The Girl. if u are reading this and dont know, the reason that jian snaps in the first place is because a patient of his, a little girl, dies on his operating table. [later its discovered that he was sabotaged. but he assumed it was his fault]

and this doesnt go well. 

jian has never had any mistakes as a doctor in all the time hes been one. hes cured so many people. 

when that girl’s heart moniter flatlines, he just. nothing makes sense anymore. hes never failed once. how could this have happened? how could he have done this? because it was his fault, no one elses, and if people keep saying it isnt his fault, he might throw up. he does but not because of that specifically.

hes not seen for a week after, and then another. word spreads fast, and a coworker asks me to go check on him. [they assume we’re dating already, and after evrything goes down-- well theres a lot of pitying looks and im sorrys] 

i find him but. well , this is where we start the story.

because theres jian there, a seven foot long scalpel in hand. and surrounded by at least five- six- seven bodies around, the specific number hard to tell because theyre so mangled (every cut is precise. he never makes mistakes), and hes laughing-wheezing-panting, glasses glinting under the street lamps. 

when he looks over to me, and i see the unfocused, almost drunk look in his eyes--

i start to think its not even him. smeone wearing his skin, some other nine foot tall doctor-- 

but it most certianly is. because he doesnt kill me, not right away. (he doesn t . kill me in this fic but gets close here. hes goin thru it <3 its okay forgiven)

see the way i write fics w f/os is like. heres some drama. heres a complicated history and relationship that eventualyl blooms into a deep love. bc thats how i be yknow?

i dont know yet whetehr or not im gonna write faust as system bc theres a lot of stuff in canon that points towards that. but i do know i write him as someone who dissasociates. bc me too bestie <3 . also autism bc. yeah. 

doodle time!! 

#im gay i love men #real bones hours #dr baldhead #faust #i need a tag for him for my braining abt him but shrugs #my art #selfship stuff

[heroinejinx]

‘I’m feeling like a riot.’ (Flashbomb AU, part 5 of ?)

Part 1: ‘I’m a mirrorball.’

Part 2: ‘This girl is a gun.’

Part 3: ‘You make my earthquake.’

Part 4: ‘Don’t mind me...’

After an unpleasant lunch with Silco, Jinx seeks comfort in Lux and conspires with Ekko to get to know her new roommate better... 

Song inspo for this chapter is ‘Antagonist’ by Nova Twins - Jinx definitely listens to this to get herself pumped for a night out!

TW: some adult content, but it’s mostly fluff and Jinx being Jinx

(5,063 words)

‘I’m feeling like a riot.’

Jinx entered The Last Drop, headphones blaring her favourite Nova Twins song loud enough for the music to bleed out into the surrounding air. She’d showered and dressed since leaving Lux on campus. It never failed to thrill her how a splash of hot water, a slick of dark plum lipstick and her favourite biker jacket could instil her with so much confidence. Stepping into Silco’s dominion, she felt all kinds of invincible.

He was expecting her, but there was nobody around. Weird. Drifting further inside, she hung her headphones around her neck, shook off Ekko’s rucksack and left it slumped on a freshly spritzed table. Approached the bar and slumped onto the nearest stool. Its jade leather was cool against the parts of her legs exposed by the various rips in her jeans.

Already bored, she tapped her knuckles on the counter to the tune of the music thrumming near her throat.

‘Hello!?’

She continued tapping, close to fucking it off and walking out, until Chuck emerged from wherever he was hiding. As well as his usual nervous grin, he wore an apron and chef’s hat.

‘Hmm,’ Jinx grinned. ‘Silco’s got you cooking now?’

‘Uh… the pizza, remember?’

‘He was serious about that?’ She guffawed. ‘Thought I was just coming to get yelled at and sent on my merry way like usual.’

‘Nope,’ Chuck grimaced. ‘He wants to talk… over food… Ran and I laid out napkins and everything.’

‘Napkins?’

‘Uh-huh,’ he said. ‘I think he’s ready for you now… in his office.’

‘Great.’

She hopped to her feet and retrieved Ekko’s bag. Shot Chuck a devilish grin. Stood behind the bar like a fish out of water, he looked so gormless she almost wondered how he breathed unassisted.

‘What’re you waiting for?’ She teased. ‘Aren’t you gonna escort me? This is a five-star dining operation, after all.’

‘Uh…’ He tried to swallow and choked a little. Styled out a panicked cough.

Poor idiot. It was all she could do not to laugh in his face.

‘Stand down, Chuck.’ With a condescending smile, she squeezed his broad shoulders reassuringly. ‘Take a long lunch break or something, huh? You’ve earned it… probably.’

‘Oh, that’s okay.’ His eyes darted away from hers, and he edged away from her reach. Picked up a glass and scrubbed it with a dishcloth. ‘Plenty to do here,’ he said, hands shaking. ‘These glasses won’t clean themselves, so…’

‘Chuck?’ Her voice fell. Eyebrow arched in scrutiny. ‘What are you not telling me?’

She sighed, plucked her pen knife from its sash in the left breast pocket of her biker jacket. At the sight of her blade, his hands shot up in surrender.

‘See, you remember how much you hate playing this game, and yet…’ She moved her knife a fraction closer to him and he shuddered. ‘Out with it, Chuck, or I’ll start getting creative. You know how much I love my arts n’ crafts, huh? How about a little scarification? It might suit you.’

‘It’s…’ He gulped. ‘It’s not just any talk. It’s the talk… about you know who.’

‘Ugh. Seriously?’

Ekko. Again. Yet a-fucking-gain, Silco planned to convince her to abandon Ekko. Like he hadn’t tried and failed a million times before.

What was it with him and Ekko? Why couldn’t either of them accept that they both had a place in her life, and just get over themselves?

She stormed into his office, where Silco presided at the head of a meticulously laid dining table. Slammed the rucksack down on the floor. Slouched into the chair furthest from his. Within reach sat a quaint earthenware jug of breadsticks and a tiffin tray of four different accompanying dips. Fuck, he was so extra. The table also boasted a bottle of Silco’s favourite red wine. All sourced from Piltover, no doubt. Like he was one of them. He wished.

With a dramatic eye roll, Jinx grabbed a breadstick and cracked it in half, sent crumbs flying everywhere.

‘Jinx,’ Silco forced a smile. ‘Use a plate, or a napkin, perhaps?’

‘Nope, I’m good,’ she grinned back, and viciously bit into one of the crunchy sticks, half-imagining it was one of Silco’s fingers.

‘Suit yourself.’ He cleared his throat and clicked his fingers.

Within seconds, Chuck scurried through with two steaming plates of pizza and set them down. One for Jinx, one for Silco, already sliced and ready to eat.

‘Thank you, Thieram,’ Silco said, giving his goon a nod of approval. ‘That’ll be all for now.’

‘Actually, Chuck,’ Jinx chimed in, revelling in the opportunity to undermine the old man. ‘Can I get some fries, too?’ She eyed the wine, then fixed her gaze on Silco. ‘And maybe some beer, or something? Wine isn’t really my thing, you know.’

Silco snarled under his breath, thrilling Jinx even more. As if she was about to sit there and drink his stupid fancy wine and act like nothing was wrong. She would punish him in any way she could think of, and he would have to grin and bear it under guise of being a gentleman.

‘Uh, of course,’ Chuck grimaced. ‘What, uh… what kind of beer?’

‘Beer’s beer,’ she shrugged, nonplussed, and tucked into the pepperoni pizza in front of her. It was sloppy and messy to eat with her hands, but in fairness to Chuck, it was delicious. Cheesy and saucy with just the right amount of spice. Food heaven on a plate.

Chuck nodded and hurried away to fulfil Jinx’s demands.

Silco smirked at her obstinance and poured himself a glass of red. Picked up his knife and fork. Who the fuck ate pizza with a knife and fork?

‘You’ll give the poor man a stomach ulcer,’ he said, as he cut himself a small forkful. ‘He runs around after you like a headless chicken.’

‘What d’you care?’ She jibed. Bit off another mouthful of ‘za. ‘Anyone who isn’t me is beneath you somehow, right?’

‘I see.’ He stiffened. Took another bite. Swallowed. Washed it down with wine. His movements were slow and precise. Exasperating. ‘You already know what this is about.’

‘Duh,’ she snickered. ‘Hot tip: if you wanna keep a secret from me, don’t tell Chuck. Dude caves way too easily.’

‘Noted,’ he said.

Something about the way he spat the word turned Jinx’s stomach. She hadn’t landed Chuck in trouble, had she? Sure, he was an idiot with no backbone, and if she were in Silco’s shoes she probably would’ve fired him ages ago, but still, he was a good person. He didn’t deserve to get into trouble for her mischief.

‘Of course, when I say easily, I mean at knifepoint,’ she clarified, hoping that was enough to save Chuck a lecture and/or dismissal.

‘Ah, of course.’ Silco shook his head and let out a dry chuckle. Mission accomplished: Chuck spared. ‘Moving on… how was last night?’

‘Average,’ she sighed. Stared down at her pizza.

A slice and a half in, and her appetite had already left her. Oh well. It was good while it lasted. Maybe she could take the leftovers back for Ek—

No, not for Ekko. He wasn’t her home anymore. Wouldn’t be for a while.

Maybe Lux would like some instead? Did they have basic food like pizza in High Silvermere, or was it all hoity toity haute cuisine? She had so many questions to bombard her new roommate with. Her incredibly attractive and interesting new roommate…

‘Average?’ Silco probed. Huh? What now? ‘You didn’t leave early with barely half sold then…?’

Oh, right, they were still talking about last night. Fuck. The man was goddamn telepathic or something.

‘Well, sure,’ she said. ‘On average, we sold about half, then dipped.’

‘And you deem this acceptable?’

‘It is what it is,’ she said, apathetic. ‘I’ll sell the rest tonight. No big deal.’

‘Oh, is that so?’ He asked with a disgruntled scoff. ‘You decide what is or isn’t a big deal now, do you?’

‘Am I wrong?’ She challenged.

He raised a conceding brow. It was the kind of micro expression only perceptible when you really knew a person. She responded with a cocky grin.

‘On your own this time,’ he instructed coldly.

And there it was. He’d found a way of shoehorning Ekko into the conversation, like always. Instant punishment for her complacency, she supposed.

‘Yep,’ she smarted. Pushed her tongue against her bottom lip. Narrowed her eyes in a combative glare.

‘The boy has only ever slowed you down, Jinx,’ Silco pressed on. ‘Just you watch what you can accomplish without him yapping at your heels like a lovesick puppy, hmm?’

‘What about everything I’ve already accomplished with him?’ She bitterly rebuffed. ‘That doesn’t count, I guess? Doesn’t fit into your neat little narrative.’

‘It counts,’ he said. ‘But you’re capable of so much more.’

‘Oh, please,’ she scoffed. ‘Like what? Pedalling shimmer with you? Taking over the family business when you eventually kick the bucket?’

‘Your music, Jinx,’ he stressed, ignoring the insult she’d hurled even though it must’ve stung. ‘You’re brilliant. You could take it so much further than the bars and clubs around Zaun, you know that, but you’ve always been too scared to fly the nest… to truly leave Ekko behind. Beneath you, where he belongs…’

His lecture washed over her. She’d heard it all before.

‘Think about it,’ he ploughed on, and on. ‘You’re twenty-one in a few weeks and only just starting your degree. You’ve held yourself back long enough, wouldn’t you say? You have such unmatched potential, Bunny.’

Bunny. His nickname for her since childhood. He hardly ever called her that anymore. He’d used it to get under her skin. It only made his words more infuriating. More painful. More resonant. The old man sure knew a thing or two about manipulation, huh?

‘Don’t squander your talents for the sake of your first love,’ he continued. ‘You’ll live to regret it. Perhaps you’d be more suited to someone with a bit more… ambition? Someone moving in the same lane, chasing a similar goal.’

Sipping his wine, he frowned in faux thought. He’d planned this, hadn’t he? Any apparent contemplation was an act. Persuasive, but an act.

‘What happened with that girl you introduced me to a few months back—what was her name? Eva?’

‘Evelynn,’ she corrected, scowling at him with stony focus. Was he seriously suggesting that bitch was a better fit for her than Ekko just because they both studied music? Was he out of his fucking mind!?

‘Hmm,’ he grinned. ‘I liked her. You should bring her back sometime. She could perform if she wanted to. We have a stage. She has a band—’

‘They’re a girl group, not a band,’ Jinx interrupted and sank listlessly in her seat, recoiling at the notion of Evelynn stepping foot in The Last Drop after what happened between them. ‘Besides, they’re nowhere near good enough for this place.’

K/DA’s music was fine—the songs she’d produced for them might’ve even been quite good, if she said so herself—and the other K/DA girls were pretty cool, but Evelynn was just… No.

Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad.

The fact that Evelynn, Queen Snake herself, had almost destroyed what she and Ekko shared made her gut drop whenever she thought of it. That woman thrived off of drama and attention like no one else Jinx had ever met. She was toxic and manipulative as fuck. Textbook narcissist. Nearly tore Jinx and Ekko apart with her lies and scheming bullshit, trying to keep Jinx all to herself. Straight-up villain, just like her song proclaimed. Ha, no wonder Silco liked her so much.

At that realisation, Jinx saw red. ‘Okay, yeah… We’re done for today.’

Not willing to give him another minute of her time, she stood, gathered her things, and left, seething with unexpressed rage all the way back to Zaun Met.

Just over an hour later, Jinx returned to the dorm room. It was empty. Lux was still browsing that Fresher’s fair, she assumed. She tossed the rucksack onto her bed. Kicked off her shoes. Gravitated mindlessly to Lux’s side. Flopped down on that cute floral bedspread of hers.

She let out a guttural sigh. Lunch with Silco had been… a lot… more than she’d prepared for. And now she was alone, staring off into the void of her room. If she didn’t distract herself soon—

What could she do? Blast music? Head to the studio and make some damn music? Yeah, and bump into Evelynn, if her usual luck was anything to go by.

What else? Scribble her feelings in the therapy notebook she never used, hidden deep in the bowels of her closet?

Nope. Now that she had crashed, she didn’t want to move. Just stared into the white plaster above her. Blinked. Stared. Blinked. Stared. Blinked. Stared.

Did Lux ever zone out like this? Another question to ask (if she remembered to ask it).

Jinx smiled. The thought of Lux lying in that same spot, staring up at that same blinding white, brought her back into the room a little. Huh. Maybe the Demacian princess was the perfect distraction?

With a newfound glee, Jinx sprung off the bed. Surveyed the myriad ornaments displayed atop Lux’s chest of drawers. A tiny ceramic penguin guarded an ornate, varnished wooden jewellery box, engraved with the initials L.C. The whole thing screamed ‘expensive.’ Jinx moved the little guy from his post with a ‘sorry, dude, just looking,’ and peeked inside. The box opened to reveal a miniature ballerina spinning on an axis, dancing to a twinkling lullaby.

‘Wow…’ Jinx stared, mouth agape. It was the type of object she’d only seen on TV. People actually owned these things in real life…? What the fuck, Lux? She giggled, totally taken aback, and closed the box.

Still grinning and shaking her head in disbelief, she made a beeline to Lux’s closet, greeted by a rack full of bland clothes. Jinx giggled again at the sight. So many pastels and florals, creams and beiges and greys. Oh, poor Lux. Had this girl never heard of colour? Style? Self-expression? Well, evidently not.

There was no sign of any shoes, either… Did Lux only have that tatty pair of brogues to her name? Wasn’t she from money!? How did this girl have a goddamn musical ballerina jewellery box, yet only one pair of shoes? She understood wanting to feel comfy, but this was a whole new level.

Now that Jinx knew her a little better, Lux’s current aesthetic was pretty funny. The cute blonde dressed like a repressed, middle-aged schoolteacher, but that so wasn’t her. She was an artist, right? Where was the creativity?

Evelynn’s words from months ago echoed that exact sentiment. She’d called Ekko pathetic. Said he had no passion, no flare. No creativity. She barely fucking knew him.

Jinx slammed the closet shut and stumbled backwards, returned to Lux’s soft mattress. Whatever Lux’s deal was—however she wanted to express herself—was none of Jinx’s business, was it? It didn’t matter. Lux was who she was. None of that superficial bullshit mattered and Jinx hated herself for thinking it did, even for a minute. One mention of Evelynn, and she was back to mimicking her. God fucking dammit.

She curled up, dug her chin between her knees. Times like these, she usually talked to Ekko. He knew how to make her better. But they were trying to live separate lives. She couldn’t fall back on him anymore. Not like before. Who was she supposed to turn to now?

The front door cracked open, and after a second or two of hesitation, swung fully on its hinge. To Jinx’s relief, Lux entered, carrying several tote bags filled with whatever free crap they usually flog at Fresher’s fairs.

Lux. She could turn to Lux, couldn’t she?

‘Uh, hi!’ Lux grinned, suddenly standing right in front of her. The tote bags of university merch were now arranged on the floor by her closet. Neat freak, this one. ‘Jinx? Are you okay? You seem kind of… out of it. Plus—’ she donned a faux grimace and gestured to her bed, which Jinx huddled upon, ‘—this… again.’

‘Oh, uh…’ Jinx darted across the threshold to her own, significantly colder, bed. Leant on her elbows, she crossed one leg over the other. Comfortable and alluring at once. ‘All yours.’

‘It’s fine,’ Lux insisted. It definitely wasn’t fine. ‘I just, uh…’ She frowned, unable to push the words out.

‘You have a thing about beds, right?’ Jinx said. ‘Privacy, boundaries, yadda, yadda… lesson learned, blondie,’ she winked. ‘Won’t happen again, I swear.’ She almost added unless you want it to, but Lux would have probably gone into a catatonic state of shock at that.

There was ample time ahead to test those… enticing… waters. She needed Ekko on board if she planned to make any real moves, anyway, but a sprinkle of flirting in the meantime wouldn’t hurt, would it? Lux probably hadn’t even noticed.

Lux occupied herself with unpacking her loot from the fair. Emptied it all out onto her bed and rifled through it, one item at a time. Gods, that was a lot of crap in one place.

Taking advantage of the natural silence growing between them, Jinx messaged Ekko.

 heyyy. miss you :’( <3 xxx

 i know we said bye for now but idk, fuck it?? wyd tonight?

 need to discuss princess lux… xxx

 Ah, but if they met up later, Ekko would definitely ask about lunch with Silco. Shit. Jinx followed up:

 oh. and lunch with s was the worst. he brought up e. wtf???

 at least chuck’s pizza was good xxx

 Fuck. The fucking pizza. She’d forgotten to take it back with her. What a waste. She was supposed to bring that pizza back for her and Lux to share and maybe bond over. Fuck, fuck, fuck! Why couldn’t she do anything right? What a fucking idiot!

Well, at least she’d remembered the rucksack. Not a total lost cause, huh?

Ugh. Ekko needed to know about that, too, didn’t he? They had a deal. Anytime she was selling for Silco, she’d tell him first.

 alsooo have to sell later – just a heads up

 wanna join, maybe? <3 xxx

 She hoped he wouldn’t mind her asking him to join. Sure, it wasn’t his favourite pastime, but they’d be together, at least.

 also alsoooooo i really do fucking miss you dude xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 Okay, enough. She was being way too needy now. How many kisses? Was she trying to kiss the poor bastard to death? And why was she making it all about her needs and how she felt? What about him? He had a life, too. A busy, difficult life.

Gods, he’d lost his keys because of her and she’d forgotten all about it. How could she be so selfish? He deserved so much better. Scar’s stupid sister Selene would never have forgotten something like that. Ugh!

 oh shit i forgot, did you get ur keys? all good? lemme know xxx

 Great, she was officially spiralling. Eyes fixed on her screen, she begged for Ekko to reply. Typed out another rushed message:

 really hoping ur busy rn & not just ignoring me :(

 She deleted it instead of hitting send. Nope. Ekko was busy, and she was freaking out for no good reason. He didn’t need to see her unravelling, each text slightly more unhinged than the last. What she’d already sent was bad enough.

A little calmer, she fired off a round of extra kisses and locked her phone. Left it on her bed. Stood and stretched out her gangly limbs.

Lux was still busy organising her Fresher’s shit. Jinx sighed. Scanned the array of tacky products and flimsy, inane brochures advertising more similarly pointless campus events. As she perused, her eyes fell upon a pack of ribbed, non-branded condoms, and she burst into laughter. Picked them up before Lux could swat her hand away.

‘Wow, blondie,’ she jibed, bashing her hip into Lux’s side, ‘didn’t know you had it in ya!’ Turning the pack over in her dextrous fingers, more laughter simmered as she realised her mistake, and readdressed the issue. ‘Or, well, I guess you don’t just yet, huh? That’s what these’re for.’

‘Okay, very funny,’ Lux scoffed. She grabbed the condoms back, ferreted them away into one of her many drawers, and continued with whatever she was doing beforehand.

It wasn’t the reaction Jinx had hoped for. Aside from the deep pink of her cheeks, Lux didn’t even seem embarrassed. Okay…?

So, was she so sexually experienced that condoms genuinely didn’t faze her (which Jinx respected and related to, but also found highly doubtful)? Or was she so virginal and oblivious that she didn’t fully understand what they were…? Yikes.

Jinx cleared her throat. Stared at Lux until she awkwardly stared back. As they held each other’s gaze, the sunlight streaming through their window struck Lux’s bluish grey eyes and turned them golden.

‘Yes, Jinx?’

Lux expected a reply, but Jinx was stuck on those eyes. Those changing colours.

‘Uh…’ It took several seconds too long for Jinx to snap herself out of her trance and refocus. Eventually, a bite to her inner cheek did the trick. She grinned, back in the room. Gay panic over. ‘Condoms, Lux? You picked up condoms at a Fresher’s fair?’ Recovery: successful… ish.

‘I didn’t pick up condoms, Jinx, I picked up rubbers,’ Lux said, deadly serious. ‘You know, to use when I’m sketching…?’

Ah, a classic autistic misunderstanding… Well, fuck.

Jinx bit her lip. Blondie’s mix up was beyond funny, but she didn’t want to offend her by pointing out her earnest mistake too abruptly. Maybe if Lux figured it out for herself…

‘Open the pack,’ she said. ‘Let’s, uh… let’s see one of these rubbers up close, huh?’

‘Sure!’ Lux grinned and retrieved the pack from where she’d stashed it. ‘They should be good, right? I mean, the uni wouldn’t give students bad quality art equipment, would they?’

Oh, wow. This girl was sinking to new, never before seen depths of cluelessness…

Her fingers slowly tore the cardboard packaging open, revealing a dozen or so multicoloured johnnies crammed inside. So unhygienic. They didn’t even look like good quality condoms, let alone whatever Lux had planned for them.

Jinx subdued a wave of obnoxious laughter, as Lux held a rubber up to the light. It was shamefully see-through. Flimsy.

What type of cheap Zaunite bullshit was that? Seriously? Were students actually expected to use those? They’d break in two thrusts.

‘Oh…’ Lux frowned at the latex coating her fingers, finally putting two and two together and hopefully making four. ‘Oh!’ She scrunched up her face, humiliated, and threw the condom in her hand straight into their communal bin. ‘What the…? The stall said they were rubbers!’

‘Yeah, and they are!’ Jinx explained. ‘That’s just what we call condoms. You… don’t… call them that?’

‘No!’ Lux stressed. Shook her head in disbelief. ‘Where I come from, rubbers rub things out.’

‘See, we call those erasers. Rubbers are… well, you’ve seen…’ Jinx furrowed her brow, too amused and perplexed to hold back any longer. ‘I’m sorry, blondie, but… You didn’t even twig when I teased you about it… What did you think I meant by my joke, Lux?’

‘I don’t know…’ She sat on the bed. Hung her head, deflated.

Jinx sensed Lux had more of an explanation than she was letting on, but for the sake of the princess’ feelings, she let it slide. Rounded the corner of the bed and crouched in front of her. Shook Lux’s knees to force her attention.

There they were again, those captivating eyes. A stormy bluish grey. Stunning.

‘So, anyway,’ Jinx said softly. ‘Rubber-gate aside—’

‘Rubber-gate?’ Lux chuckled and groaned in tandem. ‘Is that what we’re calling it?’

‘Uh…’ Jinx returned a giggle. ‘Seems fitting, no?’

‘I mean, at least something’ll be fitting around here, right?’ Lux wiggled her brows up and down, seemingly proud of her awful joke. ‘Get it?’

Gods, she was even cute at her lowest intellectual ebb…

‘Oh, the wit,’ Jinx snickered.

Their amusement faded to contented sighs, and Jinx realised she was still crouched with her hands on Lux’s legs. Not that either of them seemed to mind. The contact between them was… well, it was… Fuck. If it weren’t for Ekko…

Jinx shot up on her feet and lunged at her bed. Checked her phone. He still hadn’t replied… They really, really needed to have that talk.

She paced back and forth. Lux watched on, probably wondering what was going on in her roommate’s head. If only Jinx could answer. Oh, so many things. Too many. Far, far too many.

She hated waiting. Waiting on Ekko to reply was worse than any physical torture she could think of. Life was a string of moments, instant and impactful as they crashed into each other. Impulsivity was a better fucking drug than shimmer could ever be. She needed everything now. As and when she wanted it. She wanted Ekko. His attention, his love, his smile, his support. She wanted—needed—to know they were okay, that he wasn’t mad about her plan to deal shimmer that night, or her forgetting about how he lost his keys and had to replace them, or—

Oh, gods, she was spiralling about Ekko again. What else did she want?

Distraction. Pizza. Fuck, she was starving.

And she wanted to know more about blondie. She wanted to ask Lux whatever questions sprung to mind in the moment. Have a real conversation.

Alongside pizza, preferably…

There it was, then; a way to get everything she wanted all in one night.

Step one: take Lux out for pizza at Jericho’s and warm her up with Sump Rat Specials to get her talking. (Well, okay, she was probably a lightweight, so they could build up to the Sump Rats, but still.)

Step two: sneakily find Ekko in the kitchen. Get his approval. Discuss the Lux situation…

Step three: hang around the bar until Ekko’s shift ends at ten-thirty.

Step four: head to The Last Drop—nope, scratch that—avoid Silco, and head to…

Hmm. Where was good for dancing and dealing? Where might Lux enjoy the most? Sump Nation, maybe? Enforcers had rarely, if ever, made shimmer-related arrests there. But the music their DJ played was just… No.

Where else? There were tonnes of bars and clubs around campus, but head to any of those, and they’d risk bumping into Evelynn, or worse.

Jinx stood with her back against her poster-laden wall. Groaned in frustration. Her plan had fallen apart before it materialised.

‘Jinx, are you okay?’ Lux asked, understandably concerned.

‘Mm,’ she replied with a vague nod. ‘Sorry, just… stressed…’

She bounced back on her bed and her phone lit up. Ekko had finally replied with several cute little messages. She beamed as she read them:

 got keys, dw, all chill

 missing you 2, j. i mean i saw you this morning but still ahaha

 bye for now be damned i guess

 got called in to work so i’m busy ‘til 10:30 :( beat scar at smash bros for once tho, ahahaaa

 jeri’s a hard ass, got me on the grunt work 2day but what’s new? i’m gonna be a hard ass too someday. the endless cycle…

 hard on ur ass already anyway ;) 

 Jinx giggled under her breath. Kept reading.

 and look. deal or no deal, i’m there if i can be… always.

 Always. His words made her soar. Oh, Ekko.

There were two more messages:

 wait. why s mention e? what context? doesn’t compute

 and yeah what about lux? she’s cool no?

 She replied:

 oh, e’s my soulmate apparently. sry bro guess u don’t cut it anymore, need me some of that narcissist lovin’ ;( xxx

 lux is a dork but she’s hot as fuck - we need to talk in person, tonight… ;) <3 xxx

 alsoooo no matter how hard u are on my ass, just know i’ll always be the one beating u at smash… xoxo

 Her messages marked as delivered, then read. The little bubbles showing he was typing made her giddy.

 Soon, Ekko replied:

oh i’d let you beat me any day ;)

 Jinx:

pffffffffttt ahaha :’) xxx

 Ekko:

so lux is hot, huh?

 Jinx:

you have eyes, dude. telling me you haven’t noticed? o_O xxx

 Ekko:

oh, i’ve noticed… idk if she’d be into it tho

you think she’d vibe or nah?

 Jinx:

idk ;(

subtle interrogation time? <3 xxx

 Ekko:

my shift ends at 10:30 – after that i’m yours.

 With Ekko’s approval to suss things out with Lux, Jinx’s plan reformed in her mind’s eye. This could still work. Her tummy rumbled, spurring her onwards.

‘Lux…?’

The cute blonde was curled up on the pillow end of her bed, away from the remaining crap from the fair that she hadn’t shuffled away yet. Must’ve ran out of energy for it after rubber-gate. Ha. She was on her phone, too, zoned out. Glanced up when Jinx said her name.

‘Yeah?’

‘Wanna see Zaun beyond campus tonight?’ Jinx asked. ‘We could grab a bite to eat. Have a few drinks, maybe?’

‘Oh, I don’t know, uh…’ Lux’s shoulders tensed, and she sat forwards. Crossed her legs. Gripped her toes and knees as though anchoring herself. ‘Me and going out don’t really mix.’

‘Yeah, me neither,’ Jinx chuckled. ‘But trust me, I know all the good places. Good food, good music. Good vibes.’ She cocked an eager brow at the princess, hoping it might persuade her. And the last resort: ‘plus, Ekko’ll be there, too.’

‘Ekko?’ Blondie’s face perked up. Shoulders relaxed a little. Damn, she really liked Ekko, huh? Couldn’t blame her. ‘I thought you weren’t seeing him anymore?’

‘Pfft,’ Jinx waved off her question. ‘Turns out we can’t stay away from each other!’

She giggled and bounded over to Lux. Sidled up closely, donning a sweet pout and fluttering her long lashes. It was a look Ekko could never resist, and if Lux liked her half as much as she thought, she’d find it damn irresistible too.

The princess simply shrugged in response. Huh, okay…

‘Come on, blondie,’ Jinx softly urged. ‘Please? I’d… I’d really like to get to know you better.’

#flashbomb #flashbomb au #lightcannon #timebomb #jinx x lux #jinx x ekko #ekko x lux #autistic jinx #autistic lux #autism #ekko's just vibing #arcane fanfic #fanfic #League of Legends #polyamory #i'm feeling like a riot #part 5 #yes k/da will feature later #yes i'm writing evelynn as a bitch #straight up villain #mature

[mikeholdher]

I'm still learning to shut the fuck up. About a lot of things. Like I'll keep it real with y'all. I've been watching the woman of my dreams go through some really rough shit.

And I'm proud of her because she has made so much progress towards getting out of her toxic environment. But then something will come along and just undo most of that progress. And she accepts it. Almost as if she is punishing herself for something I don't know about.

There are very few people that come along in life where you will do anything and everything to keep them around and make sure they are safe and get everything they deserve. And she is that for me. Which is why I struggle immensely with watching her go through these situations over and over again.

I grew up trying to pull my mom out of a similar depression. She had so much potential but didn't/doesn't believe in herself.

I remember the first major argument I got in with her and she told me I was trying to guilt trip her into doing something. And I kept thinking to myself. I'd never do something like that. And my immediate thought afterwards was who in the world hurt you to make you so skeptical of people.

I'm not perfect by any means but any of my close friends know I don't operate like that. I'm a very prideful person. So I don't lie, manipulate, or cheat. I wasn't born rich and was raised that you were born into this world with only your voice so don't tarnish the one thing that is unique to you from birth by lying. Always keep your word.

It was at that point though my heart dropped cause I knew we didn't connect like I thought we did and that I was just another person in her eyes meant to do her harm.

Fast forward to now and I really don't think I've made any progress. I feel like nothing I have done is good enough to break through to her. Which makes my situation even more worse for ware.

Imagine you find your person. That person that checks all the boxes for you and you're only allowed to see them during certain time periods. Any other time that beauty is locked away. That's what it's like watching her. She's this magnificent bird trapped in a cage and I don't have the key to let her out...every once awhile the door opens and she flys around the room, spreads her wings, and sings an amazing song and then goes back to the cage and the door locks.

I'm torn because I can see myself spending the rest of my days on this earth with her. Traveling, road trips, laughing, having dance offs against each, or just intellectual talks about life. I've been through so many failed relationships were I was left wondering what I did wrong or realizing this person isn't it and doesn't want to grow. And every time I talk to her I'm captivated by how passionate she is about moving forward. The dreams and goals she has. She doesn't pretend to have everything figured out. She's going along with what life has given her making the best out of it.

It's a classic case of

"I want to give you the world."

"I didn't ask."

"you don't have to cause you deserve it."

...I'm rambling on searching for a solution but I'm afraid I'll be too late. And that beautiful bird whos company I enjoy will be gone forever.

...I need to do better.

#me #personal #dating #relationships #love #chivalry isn't dead #j

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

I was wondering if you’d be willing to share some more Phil Stories™? The combination of the tale and your story telling turns it to gold dust, I laughed out loud at both accounts. If you’d like not to share more, or don’t have the energy, I fully understand though! Thank you for sharing those two!

Well, here's a couple of small ones to tide you over if you like!

The Scotch Egg Incident

The Scotch Egg Incident happened when he was trying to be vegan. Unusually for Phil, he was actually quite methodical about the whole switching-diet-thing - it began with veggie Mondays, which became veggie Monday-Wednesday, and then veggie weekdays, and then the whole week but with Occasional Pepperamis, and then Actual Veggie when he replaced his Pepperamis with what Phil calls "walking cheese" i.e. cheese that may be eaten as a snack whilst walking. He transitioned to veganism in a similar way.

(Quick side note about the walking cheese, with may also help to explain some of this. He recently rang my husband with a walking cheese question.

Phil: So, do they make mozzarella with nicer water? Because I drink it but it's always disgusting.

Steff: ...sorry, Phil, did you just say you've been drinking mozzarella brine?

Phil: Yeah like it's a snack and a drink at the same time so it's great walking cheese but it tastes horrible :(

Steff: STOP DRINKING MOZZARELLA BRINE

We have transitioned him to Babybels.)

Anyway, he came to our house one day with a Scotch egg, and we were like... Phil have you given up veganism?

"No?" says Phil, slightly confused, and then looks at his Scotch egg in dawning horror. "Oh my god, is it not vegan?"

"No Phil," says Steff, patiently. "It's an egg wrapped in sausage meat."

"Oh my god!" says Phil. "I thought it was breadcrumbs!"

"Phil," says I. "It's also an egg."

So that was the day I, an omnivore, had to explain to Phil why he didn't believe in eating eggs.

(He finished the egg. Unrelatedly, he's not a vegan anymore.)

2. Phil in the World of Work

So he had a few jobs over the pandemic. As I mentioned in the first Phil story, he's currently in a call centre, and I found out the other day that he doesn't actually know how to put customers on hold, so when he doesn't like someone he sings his own hold music at them.

"No one's ever called me out on it," he told Steff earnestly, which I'm sure is true because how the fuck would you??! Like, you call the company to complain about your internet or whatever, and the guy on the other end listens to your angry diatribe and then goes 'Okay, let me put you on hold a second while I find your account' and then suddenly starts singing Never Gonna Give You Up down the phone - what the fuck do you even say to that??? Phil.

But, before the call centre, he worked in a factory in the Valleys that manufactures car parts, and he lost that job because too high a percentage of his car parts were failing their quality checks for having "An unacceptable level of human blood" in them

WHAT A SENTENCE I KNOW

Turns out Phil, being a very clumsy man who should not have been allowed to operate machinery, had cut himself while working over the conveyor belt, and decided it was probably fine, and so just kept working. His supervisor had to call him into the office like "NEVER in ALL MY 25 YEARS of working in car manufacture have I EVER SEEN SUCH A THING. There was blood ON the exhaust. THERE WAS BLOOD IN THE EXHAUST. WHY WAS THERE SO MUCH BLOOD PHIL."

He also took the wallet of a racist coworker there and sealed it in a plastic bag and hid it in the bottom of a water filled barrel and then gave the guy a series of "riddles and clues" to find it except Phil's idea of clues are really more vibes-based than logic-based, so it took hours and every time the racist guy was like PHIL GIVE ME BACK MY WALLET and Phil kept going "It's an Easter egg hunt! Happy Easter! You're so lucky!"

(He did get the wallet back. Phil did not keep the job.)

#long post #vote for phil

[wandaromanova]

Fun Guns

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader

Warnings: cussing, mention of sex, mentions of needles, blood

A/N: hello! i’m obviously not in the medical field, so everything described, i got from google haha. hope y’all enjoy! happy reading <3

anon requested: nat got shot in the arm during the mission so doc!r (her gf and has a strict and serious personality) has do the operation but the thing is nat keeps flirting and flexing her muscles even she's bleeding

Summary: Y/N helps her girlfriend, Natasha Romanoff, with an injury.

Word Count: 1.1K

| masterlist | request rules/guidelines | wips |

please do not repost or try and take ownership of my work. reblogs, likes, and comments are always welcome. <3

You looked up from the paper in your hand at the sound of commotion.

You got up from your stool and made your way over to the door. However, before you could make it there, it swung open and your girlfriend, Natasha, walked in with Steve and Tony trailing behind her.

Your eyes widened at the sight of the redhead clutching her left arm, blood pouring from beneath it.

“Hi, baby. I got shot in the arm and I need you to patch me up.” Natasha spoke so casually that you didn’t even register what she said at first. When you did, you stared at her like she had grown two heads.

You gave Steve a look and he nodded, grabbing Natasha’s other arm and walking her over to the medical table. You went over to a counter and placed on some gloves.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Natasha was laid out on the table and you nodded to the two men in the room.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I can handle it from here. Did you guys need any help too?” Tony and Steve shook their heads.

“No, nothing some Tylenol can’t help.” Steve joked and you let out a small chuckle at that.

You watched as the two Avengers exited the room, leaving you alone with your girlfriend.

“I need to take your shirt off.” Natasha raised her eyebrows suggestively at you. You rolled your eyes at her and carefully helped her out of the material.

“I mean I don’t think having sex while I’m bleeding is a good idea, but I’m not against it.”

You softly grasped her arm and examined the injury, ignoring her flirting. The bullet wasn’t deep and there was no exit wound.

All you had to do was take the bullet out and close up the hole in her arm. Thankfully, it wasn’t anything serious.

You turned around and walked over to some shelves and drawers, retrieving the proper tools you’d need to extract the bullet and stitch up her arm.

You dragged your stool beside the bed and Natasha sent you a flirtatious smile.

“Doc, I think I’m hurt somewhere else, too.” Natasha grabbed your hand and placed it onto her abdomen, flexing her muscles.

You sent her a serious look and tore your hand out of her grip. You couldn’t believe she was flirting with you while she was literally bleeding.

“This is serious, Natasha. You’re lucky the bullet is in your arm and not somewhere fatal.”

You scolded your girlfriend, taking a needle and inserting it into her skin. It was an anesthetic that would numb the area, so Natasha wouldn’t feel a thing.

She was going to need it if you were going to shove some tweezers into her arm then stitch her skin back together.

“I’m fine, honey. You know I’ll always make it back to my favorite milf.”

You rolled your eyes at the title. Yeah, you had a five-year-old daughter. You were slightly older than Natasha.

She was 37 and you were 41. It was only a four-year gap, but Natasha never failed to tease you for the age difference.

You quickly went to work after a few minutes, just to be sure that the lidocaine had run its course.

You feared that the bullet would be hard to find, but luckily, it wasn’t. You had found it fairly easily and took it out, placing it onto a bedpan beside you.

Natasha was completely unfazed by the entire thing. This wasn’t her first time getting a bullet extracted. She was just completely entranced by you.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

She was basically gawking at you as you worked.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Natasha admired the way your eyebrows would scrunch up in concentration, your tongue poking through your teeth as you tried to keep your hand steady.

Also, she absolutely loved how good you were at what you did. You were the best doctor in New York, which is why you were hired to work for the Avengers.

They definitely needed the best they could get considering the massive battles they always find themselves in.

Natasha had pursued you for quite a while, but you never exactly gave in. You were a professional and you knew that having a romantic relationship with a patient wasn’t right.

But she was Natasha fucking Romanoff; no one could resist her. So, eventually, after months of the redhead’s persistency, you had agreed to a date with the redhead and the rest was history.

“You almost done, doc?” Natasha asked as you placed the last few stitches into her arm. You snipped off the excess suture.

“I just finished. You know the drill, don’t move your arm around too much. You need to come back in a week or so to get them removed.”

You gave Natasha instructions as you cleaned up after yourself. However, the redhead extended her arm slowly, grabbing your wrist in her hand.

“Thank you, milfy.” You let out a small laugh at her words and Natasha smiled at the sound.

“You’re welcome, foxy.” You uttered the nickname that Natasha absolutely hated.

One day in the earlier stages of your relationship, you had referred to Natasha as a fox, her red hair reminding you of the animal.

The Russian absolutely hated it and practically fought you every time you’d call her by that name.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“You’re suddenly not my favorite milf anymore.” Natasha mumbled, letting go of your wrist, allowing you to throw away the remaining trash.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Oh yeah? And who is your favorite milf now?” You teasingly asked, going to sit by her side once more.

“Wanda.” You let out a full-hearted laugh at her response. You shook your head frantically.

“Well, I don’t blame you. She’s my favorite milf too.” Natasha sent you a glare. You sharply raised your eyebrow at her.

“Don’t give me that look! You mentioned Wanda first!” Natasha pouted and you leaned forward, giving her a quick peck.

When you moved back, a wide smile was now spread across the assassin’s face.

“Seriously though, you need to be more careful. I know you have me to help you out, but that doesn’t mean you need to get hurt all the time.”

You frowned and Natasha stared into your eyes softly, her green irises shining with love.

“I promise I’ll be more careful, but you gotta admit that it’s fun being able to see these guns. Come on, admit it, it’s fun.”

Natasha flexed her good arm, showing off her toned muscles. She also clenched her stomach, accentuating her abs.

You let out a dramatic sigh, placing your hand on top of her stomach.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“It’s fun to see those guns.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“See! I knew it. I knew you liked them.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

───────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ──────────

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[scuttling]

Long Time Coming

Fandom: Criminal Minds Pairings: Aaron Hotchner/Female Reader Word Count: 6,664 Tags: 18+, NSFW, Dad Bod Hotch, Oblivious Hotch, Flirting, Reader has a few one night stands, Semi-public sex, Unprotected sex, Blow jobs/Face fucking, Hairpulling, Fingering, Praise and degradation, Dirty talk, Accidental reveal of feelings, TW blood/cut Summary: You have been in lust (and love) with Aaron for a while, but his new look sends you off the deep end, and it's enough to make you do some pretty crazy things. *Inspired by @ssamorganhotchner and these three pics. Link to A03 or read below! You are fresh off yet another unsuccessful first date when Aaron wears the new suit. You, Emily, JJ, and Penelope are standing by the coffee maker, complaining about the pitfalls of online dating and how people are never they way they seem when you actually meet in person; you have the carafe in your hand, filling your mug, and when he walks in, face in a case file, his pants so tight you can make out his hips and thighs as clearly as if he were naked… You kind of lose your shit. And your grip.

The carafe shatters when it hits the tile floor, spraying shards of glass and hot coffee everywhere; Emily gasps, Penelope jumps back to avoid the splatter, JJ runs for a broom, and you just stand there, staring at Aaron—at his tight slacks, at his belt, at his shirt, tucked neatly inside, then at his dangling tie, and finally, his worried face.

“Are you alright?” he asks, because you have literally not moved a muscle since he arrived; your boots are covered in coffee—you are thankful you dressed casually today and aren’t wearing heels, or you’d be in a lot of pain—and your heart is racing, but otherwise you feel frozen, unable to move or look away.

You’ve wanted Aaron for a long time, and everyone knows it but him. It’s part of the reason you’re smothering yourself with online hookups and blind dates and one night stands: because he is off limits, and you’re desperately horny for him, and you need to have him fucked out of your mind one way or another.

The new suit further complicates things.

“Fine,” you say after a few more seconds, and JJ comes back with the broom and dustpan, so you bend down to help her clean up your mess. It wasn’t your brightest idea, because you are now at eye level with the tight crotch of his pants, and all you can think of is working the zipper open, pulling him carefully past the fly, sucking him off until those big hands slip into your hair and tug roughly when he comes.

God. You’re going to have to go on another bad date. Or ten.

“New suit?” Penelope asks conversationally, as if you aren’t having a sexual crisis about it three feet away. “Looks good, boss.” Aaron runs his hand down his body self-consciously, but all you see are thick fingers and stomach and hnnngg…

JJ pinches the back of your arm hard, makes a face that screams get it together!!, and you take a deep breath.

“I took some of my old ones in for alterations and the salesman convinced me they were severely outdated. Do you like this style better?”

For some reason, it feels like he’s looking right at you, and you nod, dreamy-eyed, sweep your tongue over your lips.

“Better,” you rasp, and Emily and Penelope agree, probably to take the emphasis off of your slack mouth and dopey one-word answers. You try to help JJ clean up, picking up the larger pieces of glass and dropping them into the dustpan despite her protests—because you are very unfocused, shouldn’t be messing with sharp objects—and when you cut your finger on a piece, she just sighs. Such a mom.

You wince, and Aaron frowns, comes toward you, putting you not only at dick height, but a manageable dick distance, if you were so inclined; really, it’s more if he were so inclined, because you are actually fully prepared to swallow his load right here in front of your friends—all he’d have to do would be snap his fingers and point to his crotch, and the FBI would be suing you for mental distress and using the money to pay for therapy for Emily, Penelope, and JJ.

“Let’s get this cleaned up,” he says, snapping you out of your very elaborate fantasy (typically your fantasies don’t involve court costs, but this is Aaron, so anything is possible.) He wraps his hand around your injured finger and pulls you up to standing with the other, and you just follow along as he leads you over to the sink, turns on the tap to let the water run over your cut. The way you’re looking up at him like he’s the best thing you’ve ever seen has to be painfully obvious, but he just reaches over for the first aid kit, takes out a bandage, and wraps it carefully around the tip of your finger. You sigh.

It may have started out as lust, but you’re pretty sure you’re also in love.

You have got to find a way to get him to notice you as more than just an agent, a teammate, a friend, and so: Operation ‘Get Hotch Out Of His Tight Pants’ begins. You fill the girls in on your master plan, and they fill in Derek and Spencer just so there are more people to laugh at you when you crash and burn, probably. But you’ve got a plan, will be pulling out all the stops, so you might not fail horribly after all. Hopefully.

God, you absolutely cannot fail. You can’t go out with another software engineer with the personality of a peanut or another investment banker who thinks buying you an appetizer means you owe him a blow job in the front seat of his Tesla. You will go fucking insane.

Today’s plan is T for tits, because yours are pretty awesome and almost no one who is attracted to women can resist them. You wear your usual white button down top, but you leave the top two buttons undone, and you add a red, lacy bra for a little additional temptation.

“Here are those consults you asked for,” you say after knocking lightly on the doorframe; Aaron waves you inside. You set them down on his desk, then glance over the open folder in front of him, make a curious noise. “What are you working on up here?”

You walk around his desk, so you’re standing next to him, and lean forward to look over the case file with one hand on the back of his chair and the other pressed against the desk. If he would look over, he would see right down your top, your breasts high and smushed together thanks to the lacy push up… but he looks straight down at the file, taps his pen against it.

“Murders in Detroit. I don’t think we’ll go—they look like mob hits to me, so I’m going to refer the case to Organized Crime.” You hum, turn the file toward you and lean in a little closer, letting your hair spill over your shoulder, the neck of your blouse fall open. Boobs and perfume are usually a one-two punch that is capable of bringing any man to his knees, and while he does turn to look at you, it feels entirely too respectful for your liking. You sigh softly, give up for today, and turn the file back.

“Well you know best, boss. Any time I don’t have to go to Detroit is alright by me.” You flash him a smile, and he reciprocates, and you head back downstairs for a cup of coffee and maybe a stale shame pastry.

The team looks up at you when you approach, and you shake your head.

“No luck,” you mutter, and Derek laughs, crosses his arms over his chest.

“Maybe you’re not very good at flirting. What did you do?” You roll your eyes—your flirting is not the problem, it’s Aaron’s morals and manners or whatever—and walk over to Spencer’s desk, demonstrate with him what you did to Aaron; you put your hand on the back of his chair, toss your hair over your shoulder, lean in, and Spencer swallows hard, licks his lips, and looks abruptly down at his hands. That reaction, you would have gladly taken.

Derek clears his throat, and so does Emily. Hmm.

“I’m good at flirting,” you say, straightening up; Spencer is blushing, and it’s super cute, so you pat him lightly on the head. “Maybe he’s an ass man. I’ll wear a skirt tomorrow and we’ll see if that gets the job done.”

“Good idea,” Derek says, and when you walk past him, he gives you a once over that makes you feel pretty damn good. “In the meantime, why don’t you come and demonstrate on me?”

There’s no denying he is one of the finest men you’ve ever seen in your life, and earlier on in your career you might have taken him up on it—it would have to be better than Marty McTesla, that’s a given—but you know he’s mostly teasing, even if there is a thin layer of actual desire beneath it all. You just fluff your hair and take your seat and mentally flip through your closet to try to come up with an outfit Aaron can’t refuse. You decide on a pencil skirt, because that’s got to be every boss's fantasy, right? You have one you never wear to the office because it’s a little sexy, tight on your hips and ass, with a zipper up the back that you can open a little and use to your advantage. When you walk into the bullpen that morning, JJ whistles, and you grin, do a little twirl.

“Thank you, thank you. This has to work, right?” You turn to face Emily, then turn away from Emily, butt right in her face. “Emily? This will work, right?”

“That’s... definitely going to work,” she murmurs, tapping the cap of her pen against her teeth, and you have to admit you have a good feeling about this one. For as great as breasts are, your ass is your best asset, and if the open top and red bra didn’t work, this has to be your ticket to some sweet, dirty loving, it just has to.

You all head up for the morning meeting, filing into the briefing room, and you give Aaron a soft greeting and a smile just like every day, and then offer to help him pass out whatever stack of papers he’s holding in his hands—fire drills and emergency protocol, or something boring like that. He accepts the help, and you take the fliers, but instead of walking around and handing them to each member of the team like he would, you bend over the table, reach across, and drop the pages in front of everyone.

JJ is the furthest away, and you practically have to climb onto the table to reach her; you grin and wink when she takes the papers out of your hand, and she shakes her head like you’re too much, but when you stand back up to hand Aaron the extras, he doesn’t seem the slightest bit interested.

He thanks you for your help, and you take your seat and listen to him go on about emergency exits and fire extinguishers and seriously start to contemplate moving to Europe to start a new life, or something else equally dramatic.

Because you don’t give up easily, you orchestrate one more attempt to get him to show some interest in you. You know he usually goes downstairs to the cafeteria for lunch, and that the elevator is a jam-packed nightmare because the main stairwell is currently under construction (which is probably why you needed to go over safety protocol, now that you think about it; shutting down the stairwell seems very unsafe.) You usually pack your lunch, but you can go buy an overpriced salad for the sake of your sex drive, so you wait for the elevator when he does, making small talk about your mornings until it dings and arrives on your floor.

He tries to let you in first, gentleman that he is, but that won’t work with your plan, so you insist, earning eye rolls from the other passengers on the elevator. You give Amy from Forensic Accounting a dirty look and then step in after him, lean back against him because there’s really no fucking room to even take a breath.

He’s taller than you, but with heels on your ass still fits pretty nicely against his thighs; a little too nicely, you think, as you get wet just from standing near him in the elevator, the heat of his body through your skirt. You really are a mess.

There are two more floors to go before the cafeteria, and no one gets off, but more people manage to cram into the elevator, which means you press more tightly against him to make room. Someone bumps into you roughly, which makes you unsteady on your feet; Aaron puts his hands low on your hips to keep you from wobbling, and your eyes literally roll back in your head, but he just leans in to mutter, “sorry” into your ear. You say nothing, because you’d probably moan if you opened your mouth, but you shake your head so he knows it’s not a problem.

When everyone gets off downstairs, you hurry to the restroom and don’t look back, turn on the faucet and splash some cold water against your overheated neck and chest. So much for that plan. All you managed to do was work yourself up into a fury.

While you’re in line to pay for your overpriced salad, you open up your dating app and secure yourself drinks with a hot lawyer for tonight. Seduction is clearly not working with Aaron, he’s clearly not interested, and you have to find a way to move on before you have a spontaneous workplace orgasm and get fired from the job you love—all of his tight new suits have been dark so far, but if he shows up in gray, you’re not going to have the will to survive anymore. You have to plan for the worst.

The lawyer is nice enough, but he’s too short, too thin; it’s hard to imagine Aaron’s body weight on top of you when he’s fucking you, but you’re nothing if not resourceful, so you move your hands to his head of thick, dark hair and focus on that—that, and his hot breath against your throat when he comes a little too soon and mutters “sorry” into your ear.

“It’s okay,” you pant, reaching between you to rub your clit. You close your eyes, tip your head back, clench around him; you imagine it’s Aaron inside you instead, and bury your face in his shoulder when you come.

He’s willing to stay, but you explain why it’s better if he leaves, and then you fall back into bed, fumble for your vibrator, and get off again so you’re not too distracted by reality to really enjoy your fantasy.

It’s a little twisted, but it is what it is. You’re standing in the breakroom a few days later, swiping through the dating app and bullshitting with Derek and Penelope, when this guy pops up on your screen. He’s not your usual type, younger and blonder than you prefer these days, a pilot, but something about his profile makes you pause; when it hits you, you blow out a breath and look up at your friends.

“So you guys know Operation ‘Get Hotch Out Of His Tight Pants’ is officially dead in the water,” you begin, and they nod, “and now I’m focusing my energy on trying to get over him. I went on a date with a guy that kind of looked like him, and that didn’t really help, but what if…” You turn your screen to face them; Derek nods like it might be crazy enough to work, but Penelope grimaces.

“No, I don’t think that’s going to work. It might actually be crossing a line,” she says with a frown, and you look to Derek for his input.

“It’s more of a coincidence than anything, right? It’s not like he’s unattractive and this is the only reason you’re going out with him. He’s a good looking guy,” he admits, and you’re really grateful he’s willing to help you rationalize this probably terrible idea into a potentially decent idea.

You send the pilot a message, and he wants to meet up; he suggests a bar near the both of you, and you know it’s risky, but you tell him you happen to make a great gin and tonic and that you have everything you need at home, if he’d like to meet you there instead.

He does, and you don’t even make him that drink, just take off his clothes, get him into your bed.

“That’s right, babe—wanna hear you lose it for me. Say my name, gorgeous,” he groans, fingers digging into your hips as he fucks you from behind, and you close your eyes, fist your hands in the sheets, and give him what he wants.

“Oh, fuck, Aaron. Fuck me harder.” His thrusts are already rough and punishing, but this is the best you’ve felt in a really long time, so you’re eager, desperate for more. “Yeah, Aaron, just like that.”

“Tell me my big cock feels so good in your pussy.” He slaps your ass, and you moan involuntarily, press back against him, panting.

“Your big cock feels so good, Aaron, so good in my pussy. Fuck me, Aaron, destroy me.” He grunts, tenses, and moves his hands to your shoulders, slamming your body tight against his as he comes. “Yes, don’t stop, Aaron, don’t stop,” you plead, hips working together, and when he smacks your ass again you come gasping his name, collapsing against the bed with a breathless sigh.

You feel a lot dirtier than you expected you would, even though it was kind of awesome, and ultimately Penelope was right; it was fun while it lasted, but it didn’t do a damn thing to help you forget about the only Aaron you actually want in your bed. Monday morning, Aaron comes into the office wearing a tight navy suit with a striped white shirt and a navy tie, and you follow him with your eyes from the glass double doors all the way up to his office, mouth open a little. Your eyes get heavy and your breathing picks up, which is the dumbest biological reaction to a man’s ass you’ve ever had—but god, it’s a perfect ass—and JJ has to actually lightly slap your cheek to get you to snap the fuck out of it.

“Are you horny right now?” she asks, a little grossed out. “I can’t handle you.”

“I know you guys all call him a tightass, but I mean, if the pants fit… and god, do they fit.” You pick up a case file and fan yourself with it. “He’s so fucking hot. What am I supposed to do? Getting railed by fake Aaron didn’t do shit; I think I might actually have to transfer.”

“You’re not transferring. You just have to get over it.”

“Are you kidding? She’s like a cat in heat when he’s around,” Derek says with a smirk. “I think I’m getting horny just because she’s horny.”

“Okay, so why can’t I have that effect on him?” you ask with your arms open. “Do you think it’s the pheromones? Maybe they’re incompatible. Smell me—does it turn you on?” you ask Spencer, presenting your neck, and he looks like a deer in the headlights, then leans in to sniff you.

“Uh… you smell nice?” he says with a shrug and a half smile. “I think it’s just your perfume, though.”

“Put your face near her boobs,” Derek says, and Spencer starts to lean in again. “I think the pheromones are stronger there.” He pauses about halfway to your chest.

“Actually, they’re stronger near the genitals, but I don’t think that’s appropriate.”

“What’s going on down there?” You freeze and then turn to look up at Aaron’s office, where he leans against the doorframe; Spencer stands up comically fast, and you take a step back, clearing your throat. Aaron’s scowling—it’s really sexy and it’s making your heart beat in your stupid, traitor pussy—and then he sighs visibly. “We have a case, come on.”

The case is only a half hour away, so you drive, which is horrible, because you are with Aaron and Derek, and Derek lets you sit in the front just to watch you squirm.

It gets bad before you even pull out of the parking garage, because Aaron puts his hand on the back of your headrest to look behind him and reverse the SUV, and you look over at his body—his stomach, his lap, his thighs—and then quickly face forward when he puts the car into drive. You’re flushed, breathing heavily, and when he looks you over quizzically, asks if you’re alright, you just clear your throat and nod.

“Allergies,” Derek supplies from the back, and you mentally thank him for the save, but you kind of also want to smack him for putting you in this position in the first place.

You’re practically turned on the entire ride, even as you go over the details of the case, because his legs are spread and your eyes keep moving to his crotch; at one point, you think you notice his already unfairly tight pants getting a little tighter, but it’s just a trick of light.

By the time you arrive at the precinct, you are more than ready for fresh air, to put some distance between yourself and Aaron. You’re out of the car almost as soon as he turns off the engine, which probably looks weird as hell, but for your sanity you can’t give it too much thought.

The head detective and a junior detective give you a run down on the case while the other half of your team meets with officers at the crime scene. The head detective, a tall, handsome man in his forties, is looking at you like you’re a juicy steak and he hasn’t eaten in months; Derek notices, turns to you with a raised eyebrow and mouths ‘pheromones,’ Aaron is clearly unhappy about the detective’s lack of professionalism, and you couldn’t really care less about the attention. You just want to do your job and go home and touch yourself to thoughts of your boss… as one does.

The local police already have a board made up, so the three of you travel to speak with some witnesses, head back to the precinct, work the tip lines. Aaron seems to be looking at you more than usual, and when you get up to stretch your legs, he’s right behind you, following you out into the hall.

“Are you sure you're alright today?” he asks with a serious expression, hands on his hips. Your mouth waters. “You’ve been acting a little strange.”

“Stranger than normal?” You try to smile, to lighten the mood, but as oblivious as he’s been about everything else, he’s always been able to tell when you try to hide your emotions with humor.

“The last couple weeks? Yes.” He moves a little closer, and you try your best not to let it affect you—or at least not to let it show when it does. “You know by now that you can come to me anytime, for anything.” He doesn’t present it as a question, but it’s clear on his face that he’s looking for an answer.

“I know. I’m going through something… stupid,” you say with a shrug. “Something I should be able to handle, but it’s harder than I imagined.” He frowns, flicks his eyes over your face.

“Let me help you.”

“You can’t; trust me, you can’t,” you say, pleading with your voice, begging him to drop it. “I’ll get through it.” You shut your eyes briefly, exhale, and he reaches down to take one of your hands in his.

“Are you in trouble?” This is the most intimately he’s ever touched you, and it’s not just your body that sings; you know you’re in love with him, have been for a while, but focusing on the horny feelings is easier. It makes it feel like you have less to lose.

“No, it’s nothing like that. I just need some time. Thank you.” You squeeze his hand, and then Derek pokes his head into the hall behind him.

“We got a tip about the unsub barricading a house downtown; the detective is mobilizing SWAT,” he says; when he glances down at your hands, you pull yours softly out of Aaron’s grasp.

“What do you want us to do, boss?” you ask, effectively ending your conversation, and he tells you to get suited up with comms and Kevlar so the three of you can head to the new scene. Aaron is, unsurprisingly, a complete badass, storming the house along with SWAT, you at his side; it’s his way of reminding you that he trusts you, that it can and should go both ways—he is so perfectly predictable, reassuring with gestures over words even in a situation like this one. It does nothing to help you stop wanting him.

He’s a little rough with the unsub (and that doesn’t help either,) looks ruffled and kind of pissed when you climb in the SUV to head back to the precinct. Spencer, JJ, and Emily meet you there, and you take the opportunity to vent about how indescribably good Aaron has looked all day—Spencer bows out of the conversation early, but JJ and Emily are kind enough to listen to your insane, horny ramblings.

“He’s just so hot—he always has been, but the new suits? They’re so tight, and his shirts show off his tummy, and his pants show off his thighs… You guys will never understand the things I want to do to him.”

“Okay, he’s handsome enough, but you’re nasty about it—I can’t handle you,” JJ says, not for the first time. You groan in response.

“How can you say that? Have you fucking seen him? I’m not supposed to think nasty thoughts when he walks around looking like that?”

You feel yourself getting a little out of hand, and Emily and JJ look like they’re trying to shut you up, but you can’t stop yourself. It’s like the floodgates have opened.

“He’s never going to know what I want to do to him… what I want him to do to me. I tried so hard, and he didn’t even look at me. All I wanted to do was get on my knees for him and grab his ass so he could fuck my throat as hard as fucking possible—is that so much to ask for?” You pause, but neither of them say anything, just look scandalized. “I guess I’m going to have to name my vibrator Hotch now, since that’s clearly the closest I’ll ever get to him giving me an orgasm.”

“Do you really mean that?”

You jump a fucking foot, spin around, almost knocking Emily and JJ over in the process; Aaron is in front of you, his brow furrowed, arms crossed over his vest (he hasn’t taken that thing off yet? You threw yours on the table like the minute you got back), and your mouth opens and your eyes close at the same time.

Oh fucking fuck.

“We’re gonna… go,” Emily says awkwardly, and you open your eyes abruptly when Aaron speaks again.

“No, we’re going to go; come with me,” he tells you, and he turns and heads down the hall; you look back at Emily and JJ, swallow hard, and follow him, your heart beating fast.

He steps into a small room with a copy machine, table, shelves of paper and envelopes and other supplies, and closes the door behind you, engages the lock. You are torn between being very worried he’s going to fire you and super turned on, because this is definitely a fantasy you’ve had before.

“Aaron,” you begin, running a hand through your hair. “I’m sorry. I think it was the adrenaline; it makes me run my mouth and I can’t stop it, you know that.” He’s facing away from you, his hands on his hips again, and you can see the way his body moves when he sighs.

“Did you mean it, though?” When he turns to look at you, he doesn’t look angry, he looks… nervous. “Do you want me?” His reaction is unexpected—not great, but not necessarily bad—and you bite your lip, nod.

“Yeah. So fucking bad. And I’m sorry—” That’s as far into your apology as you get before his mouth is on yours, his hands on your face, lips pressing against you for a rough, eager kiss. Your hands move to his waist, pulling him closer by the vest, and he lifts you up onto the table, tugs down the v-neck of your t-shirt, mouths at your throat.

“You think I didn’t look at you?” he says when he pulls away for a breath, tipping your chin down so you’ll look into his eyes. “You think I didn’t see that lacy red bra, your perfect ass bent over in the tight skirt? You think I didn’t feel it pressed against me in the elevator, that I didn’t want to push that skirt up and sink inside you and take you there in front of everyone?”

You moan, chest heaving, twist your fingers in his hair and pull him in for another kiss, dripping and trembling at his admission.

“I would have let you,” you murmur against his lips, and there’s no doubt in your mind that you would have, if that’s what he’d wanted. “I would let you do anything: not just let you, but I’d want it, beg for it. I meant what I said—I’d get on my knees for you, anytime, anywhere, do whatever you want me to do. I want to be yours.”

He catches your mouth in another rough kiss, then puts his hands on your waist, guides you off the table, and flips open his belt, the fly of his pants.

“Oh god. What are you doing?” you ask, and he slides down his zipper, pulls you with him until his back hits the door.

“I’m giving you what you asked for,” he rasps, staring into your eyes, his gaze smoldering. It’s so fucking hot your pussy clenches.

You lick your lips, drop to your knees on the tile floor so hard it hurts, tug his pants open and pull out his thick, hard, veiny cock.

Your dreams and fantasies did not do it justice.

“Fuck. Thank you,” you mumble, looking up at him, and he wraps his hands in your hair, pulls tightly. You moan just from that and the heft of him in your hand. “Thank you.”

“Shh.” He scrapes his fingers over your scalp, hums as you start stroking him, licking the head. “Don’t thank me—I should be thanking you, beautiful, perfect girl. In what world do I get this?” There are lots of things you want to say to that, but you’ve waited long enough, will have to say them later.

You lick your lips, collect lots of saliva, and take him into your mouth, get your hands on his ass and dig your nails in. Aaron groans, tightens his fingers in your hair, and when you look up at him it feels like a fever dream, like it’s not real but a delicious figment of your imagination.

For a minute or two, you stroke him with a tight, wet mouth, and it’s got you aching between your legs, but he’s supposed to be fucking your throat, technically, if he’s giving you what you asked for. You pull off, tell him that, and he tugs your head back roughly, guides you back onto his cock and starts thrusting into your mouth, earning vibrating moans around it.

“God, you’re so perfect. How long have you been thinking about this? How long have you touched yourself to the thought of me fucking your pretty face?” He picks up the pace, pushes deeper when he sees you can handle it, and you squeeze his ass, feel your eyelids flutter as he uses your mouth, pulls your hair. “Are you a whore for me?” he grinds out, and the moan that rips from your throat is inhuman, embarrassing, and absolutely accurate. “Yes you are, baby, yes you are. My pretty whore, on your knees, mouth stretched wide and filled with cock.”

You’ve never been so turned on from a blow job, but this is Aaron, hot and dirty and forceful, everything you imagined and more. You squeeze him tighter, encourage rougher treatment, and he presses his hands against the back for your head, slams his dick in so deep it aches; you don’t gag, but it’s a near thing, and when he pulls you off you gasp for breath and whimper at the loss at the same time.

“Enough of that, baby. You were perfect, so good for me, almost choking on my cock, but I bet your pussy is wet and aching. Do you want me inside it?”

“Holy—yes, fuck, please. Please,” you breathe, and he helps you to your feet and then pushes you against the door, gets your pants down. His rough treatment has you whining, gripping the hair on the back of his head, and you kick off your boots and socks so you can step out of your pants completely. “Keep all this on,” you tell him, pants and shirt and tie and Kevlar vest and all, and he nods, kisses you deeply, presses two fingers inside you.

“Fuck,” he groans when you receive him easily, soft and wet and open, and he uses his free hand to sweep down your top, slipping the buttons loose so he can get a better view of your tits and black lace bra that’s holding them. “So beautiful, and finally mine,” he mutters against your throat, and you whine, let your head fall back against the door, and give in to the pleasure of his thick fingers moving inside you.

“Finally mine,” you murmur, tugging his hair, slamming down against his hand, and when you come it’s like a miracle; you cry out, clamp down, and wrap your free hand around his bicep and squeeze until you’re lightheaded, dazed, desperate for another.

You kiss, deep and passionate and filthy, and Aaron slides his fingers into your mouth, pumps them a few times, then kisses you again.

“Good girl. Are you ready for my cock now?” You pant, gasp, and nod your head, and he pushes your shirt off your shoulders, lifts your legs so you’ll wrap them around his waist, and pushes inside you. You both moan, kiss, moan again, and then you wrap your arms around his broad back, hook your fingers in his vest, and hold on while he pounds your body roughly against the door.

“Oh, Aaron, fuck. Yeah. Want you to slam your body against mine; want to feel it, want to feel all of you.” He looks into your eyes, breathing hard, fucks up into you, hands on your ass, his hips and torso pinning you in place.

“Sweet, pretty, slutty girl,” he pants, spreading you open and shoving himself inside your pussy. “You tried tempting me, and oh, did it work. I might not have shown it…” He ducks in to kiss the base of your throat and you cling tighter, rock against his hips. “But it worked. You dressed like a whore just for me, just so I’d notice you; do you I know went home and stroked my cock and came with your name on my lips?”

“Holy shit. That’s so hot.” You move a hand to his hair again, can’t not thread your fingers there now that it’s allowed. “Could have fucked me like this then. Could have come in my pussy, not your hand.”

“We’ll make up for lost time,” he promises, and he thrusts up with his whole body, so you can feel it pressed against yours—shoulders, chest, stomach, all the very best parts of him. “I’m not too much for you? Can you take it?”

“Perfect for me,” you gasp, holding tightly to his vest at his shoulder and his shirt at his hip, bouncing into his thrusts. “So perfect, want you. I can take it. I can take it, Aaron.” Your mouths meet for a messy, hot kiss, lots of tongue, and you groan. “Give it to me, give it all to me.”

He bends his knees a little more, fucks you so rough and hard your mouth falls open and all you can do is whimper, clutch him, gracelessly kiss back when he presses his lips to yours.

He comes first, holds tightly to your hip and pumps inside you, fills you and then some, so it drips out while he’s still inside. It feels sinful, even after everything, and with a few rough drags of his palm over your lace covered nipple, you tighten and grip him and gasp out his name.

You both slow, and then he turns you, leans back against the door for a little relief after holding you up for so long. He nuzzles into your hair, and you bury your face in his neck, and you kiss soft and sweet until you’re feeling stable enough to hop out of his arms and put your clothes back on. He rights his as well, and when you’re both put together he wraps you up in a hug, kisses you, holds you with soft hands on your cheeks.

“I really have waited so long for this.” He brushes his lips over yours, and you sigh. “You never indicated… I was trying to be professional. Then out of nowhere you were leaning over my desk and bending over the table, and I was a little blown away.” You nod, can see that, pull him down for a kiss.

“It’s the goddamn suits,” you say with a half smile, and he gives you a curious look. “Your new, better fitting suits? They fit you so fucking well it’s almost illegal; I’m thinking of pursuing charges against your tailor for reckless endangerment on behalf of my libido, and the coffee carafe, and my poor, worn out vibrator.” He chuckles, hugs you closer, squeezes you so tightly against his body you almost pass out from all the good things you feel.

“Maybe we can strike a deal,” he murmurs, pushing your hair back behind your ear, and you bite your lip, nod.

“Yeah, I’m sure you’ll think of something you can do to make it worth my while.” After a little more hugging and kissing, the two of you figure it’s time to emerge from the supply closet; you don’t see your team anywhere, which surprises you, but when you get to your phone and pull up your texts, it all makes sense.

Derek: Congrats on the sex. The four of us headed home because no one wants to ride with the two of you and your pheromones.

Emily: Yay, you did it!! Drinks on me next time we go out!

JJ: You guys are loud; don’t make a habit of that.

Penelope: I hear congrats are in order! And by hear, I don’t mean hear. There’s NOT an audio clip or anything, so don’t worry about that!!

Spencer: Emily took an audio clip. Is it normal for girls to enjoy being called a whore? You don’t have to answer that.

You take a very deep breath, give him the gist of the messages—you’re on your own, they heard at least part of it, there is some potentially damning evidence that needs to be destroyed—and you leave the precinct to head home in a better mood than you’ve been in in a very long time.

Aaron takes you out for a late dinner, and he spends the night at your place, falls asleep warm and solid and very naked in the middle of your bed.

Taglist ❤️: @thaddeusly @arsonhotchner @mrsh0tchner @ssahotchie @sleepyreaderreads @mintphoenix @meghannnnnn @disgruntledchowchow @azenpal @g-l-pierce @my-rosegold-soul @ssamorganhotchner @heliotropehotch @angelhotchner @qtip-blog @gspenc @wishuhadstayed @averyhotchner

#aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner fanfic #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfic #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner x female reader #hotch x female reader #hotch x reader #prompt

[yaomomvs]

TAKE OUR HAND

seijoh x manager!reader

in which aoba johsai vbc just wants you to take their hand, just as the many times they have reached for yours when they needed it

pls i’m sorry i just wrote this for comfort, in having a terrible week and so, i just really need my seijoh boys to comfort me even if it’s just in my head and just so you know, and as i’ve been trying to convince myself, things always get better

tuesday, [15:56 pm]

“nice kill yahaba senpai!” kindaichi congratulates his upperclassman.

his voice makes you react, it scared you. still holding your pen and the notebook you always carry around even on normal practice days, your hand threatens you in the most scary way possible.

fuck no, just... breathe.

you are quick to leave aside the notes, and so, you look around to the boys, who just after the coach’s whistle sounds they are quick to approach your spot.

you take the water bottles as quickly as you can.

“oh y/n-san, i know we are irresistible but you can’t just slack off admiring us!” makki teases you laughing.

“if our dear manager is admiring someone is obviously me” oikawa says, before taking a sip of his bottle, slightly making you blush even more.

“i don’t think she likes idiots who still watch youtube conspiracy videos at 3am”

“iwa!”

“weren’t you the one with a secret obsession for romance manga, iwaizumi?” it’s mattsun time to expose his friend. iwai mi doesn’t hesitate and he runs directly to matsukawa, while kunimi brings out his phone to start recording the chaos in the gym.

you don’t listen.

your head hurts, and then, you once again feel this weird thing in you stomach. you have been feeling like this for the past week, and you try to ignore it . but sometimes, you just want the world to stop.

you can’-

“y/n senpai?” watari calls your name, and you notice his furrowed brows looking at you, worried. you blink and correct your posture. you had just zooned out. “is everything ok?”

“ah yes watari kun!” you force your self to sound relaxed because you feel the sudden gaze of the entire team “i was just thinking in a smart way to insult oikawa, but i’m worried he won’t understand tho”

“hey! you said i was your favorite”

you fake laugh once again assuring everyone that you were just fine. the day goes on, and somehow is becomes more difficult to just stay down not worrying about anything.

and they notice.

you don’t walk home with the guys today. instead you run to the bus not before excusing yourself with an ‘urgent family thing’

“just please don’t let makki eat so much ramen today!” you giggle as you run to the bus “i’m not in the mood to dealing with diarrea!”

“that was a secret between us darling!” the pink haired guy screams cheeks blushing.

and maybe you were just too distracted, but before you face them away some of them notice how quick your smile fades.

“you know guys” yahaba is quick to say “call me crazy but, why did she lie?”

—

wednesday, [10:22 am]

when was the last time you actually enjoyed school? not practice, but school itself. seeing numbers everyday in the board that you don’t understand is frustrating. your throat hurts, there’s has been a not there since the begging of the day.

swallow it, y/n, dammit

you decided to take this class, don’t blame the world, blame yourself. isn’t it supposed to be simple? why isn’t it being simple? is that... 

"Square root of 57 is equal to Xo, miss" 

"alright!" 

it is not like it’s a race, you want to say. why was the teacher obsessed with speed?, it’s unfair. your time is not the same as that of others. 

you drop the pencil and you recline in your chair, why couldn’t you do operations and analysis as fast as they could? you take a look around and the eyes of others look frightening. you see ambition, you see security, you see admiration.

the bell rings and you just want to run, and well in a way you end up doing it. leaving your homeroom, you tell your friends that for today you want to be alone, the halls of aoba johsai are big, for your fortune or misfortune. you go to the vending machine and when your drink falls, the minimum noise makes you startle, lately it’s like that, small noises or actions affect you way too much.

and iwaizumi notices it.

you don’t make a single move, it’s just the cold drink resting on your hands. and before iwaizumi could stop mattsun, he was already putting his hand on your shoulder.

“y/n!”

the orange juice spills and once again fear takes hold of you.

you see them both, you’re not stupid and you know hajime stares at you weirdly, and now mattsun, you hide your fear it a bit worse than yesterday, but you do anyways.

"someday, Matsukawa-san, YOU’RE GOING TO KILL ME! and what will you do without me?" you try to say cheerful, wanting to take away the suspicion, for a moment it works.

"flunk history, that leads me to..." 

"no, sweeheart, i won’t give you my homework" 

you walk and both guys follow you, one faster than another, very naive of the situation. "I begin to believe you hate me," says Mattsun, as the three sit on a bench near the school cafeteria casually encountering kunimi who quickly joins you, patting the folds of your skirt as you sit down, you rest on the table and admire his needy expression and as the tantrum of mattsun grows.

minutes go by, your chest pain grows, but somehow you know how to let it go.

 with your hands supporting your face, lunch passes between you and kunimi, you try to talk, you really try. 

but still, your eyes just glow, and kunimi notices how it’s not the glow you always have.

—

thursday [12:03]

your head is spinning, you can feel the cold sweat. will this be the time? why do you feel so small? why can’t you say it?

it’s familiar, you recognize this feeling, an ocean, you’re floating, you know you can swim, but, you’re in the middle of nowhere, you look down. Out of nowhere the intimidating depth of the ocean is beneath you. And then, you sink. You feel like you’re drowning, you feel like you’re fighting the tide, but you just can’t do it.

i just need...

no, it’s not time yet, it’s still training. the boys... you’re the one who should take care of them, you’re the one who has to be be fine. they had no time to lose, they had a goal and for the moment that was the most important thing.

On that bench, your gaze is absent, you know it is so.

and through the window that overlooks your classroom, oikawa notices it too

“y/n...” he mumbled.

of course he’d noticed. at first it was not so clear, but now he remembers.

when kindaichi pinned your dark circles to him, while admiring you by fitting volleyballs in a way not of your own.

makki watches oikawa from your side, you don’t even know the pink-haired guy is there, unaware that he’s sitting next to you. but he notices. he’s been noticing for days that your eyes are threatening to close in the middle of class.

hanamaki catches your attention and instantly that mask you’ve been wearing for weeks appears again.

"hanamaki, i’m fine"

it doesn’t convince them. they both look out the window and nod.

oikawa notices, and god, he wished he had no reason to.

—

friday [14:00 pm]

breathe.

please just... breathe.

you’re fed up. the feeling of guilt and discomfort is still there, can’t you be calm? people don’t need to know, but why do you want to shout it?

the dressing room is alone, the girls from the soccer team are out and it’s your only chance.

the team needs you, hold on a little.

your footsteps are heard in the hallway once again, a symphony you’re tired of listening to.

your chest hurts, your heart is aching, but you just need a little more. hands are shaking, the cold in your body, you need to stop.

you have to make them stop.

but when you walk into the gym, even with your eyes down, all you feel is warm. and it’s because, the boys were standing, aligned begging for you.

no, they beg for your sake.

and everything stops.

one hand from him on your neck, and one hand around your shoulders.

because oikawa, without warning, now has you in his arms.

and then, only then, you break.

tears don’t take long to come out, along with desperate sobs. your legs fail and out of nowhere, you and oikawa are on your knees.

with an alarmed look, the whole club runs towards both, surrounding you as sensibly as possible.

"i’m sorry, i’m sorry I’M SORRY" is heard from you, between hiccups.

“love, listen...” iwaizumi approaches you,somehow he managed to catch up with you, somehow he managed to hold your hand.

"i promise i didn’t want to, but i can’t, i can’t anymore, why can’t i? i try and i try and i keep trying but it’s never enough! IM TIRED OF SEEING SOMETHING AND NOT BEING ABLE TO PROCESS IT LIKE THE OTHERS. I’M TIREDD OF NEVER FULFILLING WHAT I SHOULD”

yahaba’s heart aches, and just as most of the team, is shocked.

your hands, oh your adorable hands, those hands that bandage his in the middle of an important game, he sees them shaking horribly between iwaizumi’s.

“AND I’M SCARED, WHAT IF I LOSE YOU BECAUSE OF THAT BECAUSE OF ME? BECAUSE OF HOW I AM I-“

watari is quick to place your hair gently behind your ear, a kunimi covers you with his jacket.

“I LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND I DONT RECOGNIZE MYSELF” you lower your voice, its cracked now “oikawa I don’t recognize myself, I want to be me again" you whisper, and a knot appears in the captain’s throat, and he puts a hand on your cheek "please... just let me be me again" your throat burns, your eyes get redder.

the gym goes silent, your words still echoing in everyone’s head.

“why didn’t you-“

“i just couldn’t” you blame yourself cutting oikawa off “look at us! we are waisting time on me when we should be- i’m the one who has to- im you support not-“

“hey hey, love...” iwaizumi whispers his voice is filled with sweetness, letting you sit correctly and softly rubbing his thumb in your hands “how many times have you been there for us? y/n your hand is always there”

“that’s true” kyotani says, finally saying something, emotions overwhelmed him a lot, but he genuinely wanted to help you.

“there’s something about you, there’s light” kindaichi follows up.

“no matter where, or how bad we are, somehow you always are helping us stand up” mattsun also tries to carefully approach you, he wants nothing more for you to feel safe.

and oikawa’s arms were still around you. he never stopped.

“we have reached your hand so many times, so now it’s time for you to please take ours” oikawa holds you face, and you see the sincerity and kindness behind his brown eyes, it feels like home.

mattsun does a sign asking the coach for a day off, both of them smile tenderly at you and give the green flag. iwa and makki are next to hold you carefully helping you stand up. they help you stop shaking but it’s mad dog the one who wipes your tears away with a tissue watari handled him. still not knowing if he did it the right way. you still feel kunimi’s scent. you still see kindaichi holding your school bag making sure nothing is missing. yahaba is the one bringing you water. and oikawa still refuses to let you go.

all of them feel like home.

“thank you”

and that’s how you know everything is going to feel fine.

because this club was yours and you were theirs.

this was home.

#haikyuu x reader #oikawa x reader #iwaizumi x reader #seijoh manager #kunimi x reader #kindaichi #watari #matsukawa x hanamaki #matsukawa x reader #hanamaki x reader #hq x reader #oikawa headcanons #oikawa fluff #bokuto x reader #kuroo x reader #kenma x reader #aobai josahi #iwaoi #kagehina #sugawara x reader #iwaizumi hcs #seijoh scenarios #iwaizumi smut #oikawa x you #iwaizumi x oikawa #kageyama x reader #atsumu x reader #osamu x reader #oikawa imagine #haikyuu hcs

[edie-baby]

mr & mrs | liam lawson x reader

Summary: You and Liam were teammates at Hitech for 2021. You had the biggest crush on him, but you were sure he didn't see you as anything more than a little sister. But oh, how a few basic questions could uncover the truth between you.

Warnings: swearing, and I think that's it?

When you walked into work in the Hitech Grand Prix building this morning, you didn’t expect to be playing the fucking newlywed game with your crush. And if you’re being honest with yourself, crush is a light way to put it. You were head over heels for your F2 teammate and best friend, Liam Lawson. There was just something about the New Zealander that always had your heart racing, your legs buckling, and your stomach dropping.

So when you were directed into the garage for a ‘different background’ from other videos you had done with Liam, your stomach lurched. Here this gorgeous man was, in all his Kiwi glory, hair waxed back but falling out of place, jeans hugging the toned curves of his legs and ass and giving you a glorious view of his bulge, and the fucking blue sweater. The same blue sweater he had worn the last time the two of you did a video that had reduced you to a stuttering mess when you first saw him.

But now it is worse. So, so much worse. He was standing in a garage. Around cars, and tyres, and grease, and all of the inanimate objects you found so sinfully appealing, and he was just right in the middle of it looking like that. You just about turned around and walked right back out.

“Mighty Mouse! There you are. I was starting to think I’d have to be the brains and beauty of the operation.” Liam called once he spotted you, and suddenly you remembered why you had never tried making a move on him. He treated you like a little sister. Nicknames like ‘kiddo’ and ‘mighty mouse’ were a regular occurrence, and they never failed to make you squirm.

“Well, you struggle to be anything but the brawn, and I think I’m even starting to overtake you there.” You teased, pushing yourself to stay casual, platonic, familial. There was so much opportunity to flirt with him, but the few times you had tried were brushed off, so you had given up many moons ago.

“Ouch Princess, that hurts.” Liam mocked, his hand cradling his chest and you couldn’t help but wonder how it would be to fall asleep against his chest, curled up after a rough night of-

“Who’re you calling princess, princess?” You shot back, cutting your thoughts off before they continued developing and became an issue. Liam laughed, his arm slung around your shoulder while the two of you walked over to the team that were in charge of running your activity for the afternoon.

“Ok, I don’t know if you guys have heard of it, but this game is called Mr and Mrs, one of you will have a whiteboard and wear headphones while the other tries to guess what the answers to the questions you’re writing down are. Make sense? Ok, great, let’s do an intro and go from there.” One of the guys explained quickly, and you began having flashbacks to an awful 80s game show called The Newlywed Game, and blushed profusely. Having you and Liam in a video titled ‘Mr & Mrs’ was sure to get the fans going, and you couldn’t blame Hitech’s PR plan.

You and Liam settled into the wheely chairs from the office next door, Liam positioning himself in frame of the camera and fixing his stupidly perfect hair when you came barreling toward him with your chair, legs tucked up high so you didn’t cop a chair arm to the knee. Liam screeched when you finally hit him, almost toppling off the chair in surprise while you spun slowly, laughing freely as you did so.

Liam looked over at you, your head thrown back in carefree laughter, the yellow sundress that covered your body made you look radiant, and he was sure he had never seen a sight so beautiful before. Your laughter calmed down, and as you looked over at him, he couldn’t help but send you a lovestruck smile, his eyes dopey with admiration. You blushed slightly, laughing as the team asked if you could do the intro again, but actually introduce what you were doing.

Liam slid out of the frame, and you followed his movements as you could tell a fierce battle was about to commence. Kicking off the ground with force, you tucked your legs up onto the chair again, spinning into Liam so fast, you couldn’t actually see his face before you crashed into him. The two of you exploded in laughter again, laughter and smiles were common between you, and Hitech’s Instagram was full of photos and videos of you and Liam smiling at each other, or doubled over in laughter, clutching onto each other.

“Hi, I’m Liam Lawson, and this is Y/N, we drive for Hitech in Formula 2.” Liam began once you had slowed down your laughter. He kept a firm grip on the arm of your chair, holding you close and still, as your chair really liked spinning around.

“And we’re here to play Mr & Mrs, another game in our long series championship to see who the better teammate is.” You finished, gesturing to yourself subtly, but Liam caught it and pushed your chair away jokingly. As much as you loved the man and wished you could be more, you wouldn’t give up this relationship you have with him for something that might work.

MR & MRS | EDIE-BABY

“Liam, what is Y/N’s favourite colour?” The same guy from before asked, one who Liam still didn’t recognise due to the facemask and hat he was wearing. Nevertheless, he held up a whiteboard where the question was scribbled in messy writing, three multiple choice answers written waiting for not only Liam’s, but also your answer. You had airpods in your ears, connected to the blaring music playing from one of the Hitech employees’ laptops, a whiteboard in your hand that you quickly scribbled out an answer to.

Liam looked over at you, holding the whiteboard to your chest protectively so he wouldn’t cheat, but there was really no way that he could.

“It’s not an answer listed here, but her favourite colour is a light brown. She always says it calms her down because it reminds her of a cafe she went to once back home.” Liam spoke, watching you as he answered. You didn’t hear a word he was saying, bopping your head along to the 2000s hits pumping through the earphones. Liam pulled one of them out, his head nodding over to the camera while you proudly turned the board around, thinking you had gotten one over on Liam.

“My favourite colour is light brown, because it reminds me of the Brew Cafe in my hometown, and it brings a really nostalgic and calm feeling.” You stated, watching the faces of the employees morph from business to shock. You looked over at Liam, who had a smug smile on his face while he listened to your answer.

“There’s no way you could have known that!” You protested, glaring accusingly at the dirty blonde. He laughed in response, and you couldn’t have felt happier in any given moment. Not even the top step of the podium could compare to the warmth spreading in your chest. Little did you know, Liam was feeling the exact same way.

“Y/N earphones back in, Liam your next question. What is Y/N’s favourite song at the moment?” The same guy asked, yet this time there were no multiple choice answers. Liam’s eyes widened, turning to look at you to think of any songs he had heard blasting from your speakers or earphones recently, or something that you had ranted excitedly to him about. He spoke to himself, mumbling about artists and songs he could remember falling from your lips. You twirled a piece of hair around your finger, thinking about the answer to the question, when suddenly it hit him.

He had to wait a few moments as you were slowly writing down your answer, still not 100% sure of yourself. It was only after you had taken an earphone out that you jumped, furiously rubbing out the answer on the whiteboard and writing a new one, looking much more satisfied with the new answer. The team counted down, and as Liam spoke, you almost dropped the whiteboard.

“Feeling Something Bad by Ellise. She’ll start singing it randomly when she concentrates, which is usually a giveaway to what songs she's been listening to recently.” Liam said his answer so confidently that it made you feel as though you were inferior because he knew your favourite song and it took you a decent minute to think of it. Liam got another point as he had gotten two of your answers right, and you were starting to feel competitive.

“Alright Liam, who does Y/N get along with best in the F2 paddock? Oscar Piastri, Dan Ticktum, or you?”

“Oh, oh. Well, she hangs out with Oscar a lot, but I don’t know if she would say they get along better than we do? Like, she’s closer with Oscar but we get along best, if that makes sense? I don’t think it does. I’m gonna say Oscar because I don’t want to be rejected, but I really hope I’m wrong and that she says me.” Liam rambled, finally deciding on Oscar, and when you were told to turn your board around, Liam’s heart sank a little. You had written Oscar, and as you began trying to defend yourself, Liam waved it off and laughed to hide the disappointment in his eyes, but you could see it clear as day. You tried to move on like he did, to keep playing the game like you didn’t hurt her best friend and crush.

You began trying to cheer the Kiwi up, dancing along to the songs playing, and occasionally belting out the chorus. He was laughing along, finally joining you to sing when you were screaming the lyrics to Promiscuous, dancing all around the garage and trying to pull him up around with you. While you were dancing with some of the employees off camera, being recorded for Instagram, Liam was still in frame of the main camera, a fond smile on his face, and anyone who had looked at him could see that he was completely and utterly whipped for you, but you were too caught up in Nelly Furtado to see it yourself.

It was your turn to answer questions now, passing Liam the whiteboard that had a little love note written on it.

I’m going to crush you.

You wrote, and Liam thought it was adorable how competitive you got in trivial games like this, but it always made him try even harder just to give you some semblance of a battle.

“Y/N! How old was Liam when he started karting?” The guy you had begun to think was not an actual Hitech employee asked. The three ages to choose from scribbled on the whiteboard. You studied them for a moment, and could see Liam in the corner of your eye writing out his own answer.

“He was seven, because I remember him telling me that there’s regulations in New Zealand that you can’t race go-karts competitively until you’re seven and then won the race.” You explained, remembering the story he had told you easily, it was one of your favourites, purely because of the joy on Liam’s face when he recounted it.

He turned the board around, showing the exact answer you had given, and he gave you a cheeky smile in response to your silent gloating about getting a point. There was nothing cuter in his eyes than you getting so worked up about a game.

“What is Liam’s pre-race superstition?” Before the board with the question and possible answers came up, your mouth blurted out the answer you already knew all too well.

“He gets in the car from the left.” You practically yelled, and Liam looked at you with wide eyes, not hearing your words but seeing the excitement at knowing the answer.

“How did you know that?” One of the Hitech PR asked as her main priority was to stir up more rumours about the two of you, as it was always good for the team’s press.

“Because I’m just as superstitious about getting in from the right side, so when he found out, he asked the team if we could switch around how our cars are placed in the garage so that we could meet in the middle, do our little ritual, and then get in the car from there.” You explained, watching as Liam wrote down his answer with no idea of the words you were saying.

When Liam turned the board around, he explained the exact same story you had, and you giggled when he finished, showing off a proud smile before putting the pieces together that you had already run the same spiel.

“It’s quite cute that the two of you explain things using basically the same words.” That same PR lady stated. And you almost rolled your eyes, almost. But you caught Liam blushing slightly, and a small, stupid part of you began jumping up and down, because not only did someone think your relationship with Liam was cute, but he blushed at that.

“It happens when you spend so much time with someone. I’ve started picking up Kiwi slang, and he’s learning some of my slang. You don’t realise it until you say something to someone when he’s not there and they’ve got no idea what I mean. It’s so normal for Liam to always be by my side, and me by his that when I’m with other people it feels weird.” You started on a ramble, something you were known for. And then just would… not… fucking… stop. The press officer looked satisfied, but as you had finally gotten your mouth to stop moving, you were scared to look over at Liam.

“Whenever she’s not within arm’s reach, I feel like I’m missing something.” Liam spoke quietly, and you gulped as you heard his words. The man was going to kill you, surely. This little production crew didn’t give a shit about your blossoming romance though, as they hurried you through to the next questions. You and Liam barely looked at eachother, your answers shorter and much more vague than they were before. You just wanted to get out of this chair and go freak out in an empty office somewhere.

“Well, the winner of this round is Liam, which means he has officially overtaken Y/N in the Hitech championship. How do you guys feel about this one?” The producers asked. You would usually have felt a bit of a blow to your chest finding out you had been beaten in two ways, but you truly couldn’t think of anything except your proximity to Liam.

“I think we found out a lot, and I’m glad to finally be ahead in the championship. I think it’s the only time I’ll ever be able to beat Mighty Mouse in anything.” Liam chuckled, reverting back to your ‘little sister’ nickname because he felt like the distance would help him process his emotions.

“Hey, you already beat me in height, age, and supercar experience, you gotta let me have something.” You whined, you looked over at Liam with a pout and puppy eyes, unintentionally making his heart pound out of his chest.

“Well you’re the cuter one of the team, and you’re a hell of a lot smarter than me, so I’d say you’re winning enough. Plus you’re higher up in the drivers standings than me.” Liam replied, leaning closer to stare into your eyes, barely two inches between your faces, you blinked slowly, afraid that any sudden movements would scare him away.

His large hand reached up, tucking a stray piece of hair behind your ear, then coming to rest at the side of your neck, his thumb resting on your jaw.

“I don’t think you realise what you do to me.” You mumbled, leaning forward very slightly to nudge your nose against Liam’s. His breath hitched, eyes boring into your soul in a way that made you freeze.

“It can’t be any worse than what you do to me. Looking as beautiful as you do, all I want to do is hold you, keep you close, show you off to the world, and I want to call you mine. I want to take you home and show you around my hometown, I want to introduce you to my parents, to take you to parties with my friends, I want to curl up in your apartment watching Harry Potter movies, and I want to dance around the kitchen with you at 2 in the morning making pancakes. I want to live my life with you.” Liam confessed, and for a few moments, you felt as though you couldn’t breathe.

You lurched forward, balling your fists up in that stupid blue sweater and pulling him closer. Liam’s eyes closed instinctively as your lips met, the coconut lip balm you applied before you came into the office was shared on your tongues, Liam’s exploring your mouth with vigor. You had never imagined him to be this passionate, this intense. But you had no complaints, his hands tugging you forward until you fell onto his lap, legs slotting in beside his own to straddle him on the wheely chair.

You broke away for a moment to catch your breath, eyes surveying every square inch of Liam’s face to commit it to memory. He truly was a gorgeous man, and you hoped you would get to see him like this many more times to come. He caught the look in your eyes and dove back into your lips, his teeth capturing your bottom lip in a bruising grip, a whimper escaping your lips before someone clearing their throat interrupted you.

“I guess we have everything we need for the video. Thanks you two.”

#Liam lawson #Liam lawson fanfic #Liam lawson x reader #Liam lawson imagine #Liam lawson fanfiction #f2 2021 #formula 2 #hitech gp #f2 fanfic

[latte-fairytaekwoon]

𝑫𝒊𝒓𝒕𝒚 𝑫𝒂𝒏𝒄𝒊𝒏𝒈 (𝑱𝒆𝒐𝒏𝒈 𝒀𝒖𝒏𝒉𝒐 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑱𝒖𝒏𝒈 𝑾𝒐𝒐𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒈) 𝑹𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒅

𝙿𝚊𝚒𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐: 𝙼𝚊𝚏𝚒𝚊/𝙳𝚒𝚕𝚏!𝙹𝚎𝚘𝚗𝚐 𝚈𝚞𝚗𝚑𝚘 × 𝙴𝚡𝚘𝚝𝚒𝚌 𝙳𝚊𝚗𝚌𝚎𝚛! 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛 (𝙵𝚎𝚖𝚊𝚕𝚎) × 𝙼𝚊𝚏𝚒𝚊/𝙳𝚒𝚕𝚏! 𝙹𝚞𝚗𝚐 𝚆𝚘𝚘𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚐

𝙶𝚎𝚗𝚛𝚎: 𝚂𝚖𝚞𝚝, 𝙵𝚕𝚞𝚏𝚏, 𝙼𝚊𝚏𝚒𝚊 𝙰𝚄, 𝙳𝚒𝚕𝚏 𝙰𝚄

𝚂𝚞𝚖𝚖𝚊𝚛𝚢: 𝙾𝚗 𝚊 𝚗𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚑𝚘𝚙𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚊 𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚕𝚎 𝚏𝚞𝚗, 𝚝𝚠𝚘 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚖𝚘𝚜𝚝 𝚒𝚗𝚏𝚊𝚖𝚘𝚞𝚜 𝚖𝚊𝚏𝚒𝚊 𝚋𝚘𝚜𝚜𝚎𝚜 𝚐𝚎𝚝 𝚊 𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚕𝚎 𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚢 𝚒𝚖𝚊𝚐𝚒𝚗𝚎𝚍 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚊𝚗 𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚌𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚐 𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚒𝚙𝚙𝚎𝚛.

𝚆𝚘𝚛𝚍 𝙲𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚝: 𝟻.𝟹+𝙺

𝚆𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜: 𝙻𝚊𝚛𝚐𝚎 𝚊𝚐𝚎 𝚐𝚊𝚙 (𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗 𝚕𝚎𝚐𝚊𝚕 𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍𝚊𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚜), 𝚊𝚕𝚌𝚘𝚑𝚘𝚕 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚜𝚞𝚖𝚙𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗, 𝚎𝚡𝚘𝚝𝚒𝚌 𝚍𝚊𝚗𝚌𝚎𝚛𝚜, 𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚒𝚙𝚙𝚒𝚗𝚐, 𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚓𝚘𝚋, 𝚘𝚛𝚊𝚕 (𝚏𝚎𝚖𝚊𝚕𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚖𝚊𝚕𝚎 𝚛𝚎𝚌𝚎𝚒𝚟𝚒𝚗𝚐), 𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐, 𝚍𝚎𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚍𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗, 𝚜𝚙𝚒𝚝𝚛𝚘𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐, 𝚞𝚗𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚝𝚎𝚌𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚊𝚗𝚊𝚕 𝚜𝚎𝚡 (𝚊𝚕𝚠𝚊𝚢𝚜 𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚝𝚎𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗) 𝙳𝚘𝚖! 𝚈𝚞𝚗𝚑𝚘, 𝙳𝚘𝚖! 𝚆𝚘𝚘𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚐, 𝚂𝚞𝚋! 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛

𝚃𝚊𝚐𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝: @yunhofingers @yunhoiseyecandy @galaxteez @multidreams-and-desires @little-precious-baby @brie02 @rvse-miingi @couchpotatoaniki @deja-vux @a-soft-hornytiny @daniblogs164

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"Anything else we can get for our most valued regulars?"

The two men waved their hands dismissively at the friendly and energetic owner of the establishment, thanking her for the drinks that were already provided while assuring her they were perfectly content.

"Well if you shall need anything don't hesitate to ask." She reminded them before walking away to attend the other customers and see that everything in the club was running smoothly.

The two men held up their drinks and clinked them against each other before downing them as if it was mere water. Slumping back into the comfortable french style chaise lounge sofa, the shorter mafioso let out a soft and relaxed exhale of breath.

"Well I'd say the whole operation was an absolute success. Don't you agree Yunho?" He tilted his head towards the more impotent one of them, the male swirling the contents of his newly poured drink around his glass cup.

"Indeed. Well done Wooyoung." He raised his glass towards his friend in acknowledgement before bringing the rim of the cup up to his lips.

The two men briefly scanned the spacious hall, occasionally waving or even winking at the more familiar faces that they had become very much acquainted with, sometimes even on a more intimate level that remained a naughty secret between them. Being admirers of beauty and anything aesthetically appealing, they of course had their gazes on the stage that encompassed the majority of the room. Their eyes never failed to take in the gorgeous dancers that were currently moving their bodies to the music playing in the background, some of them showcasing their more erotic side through spins and turns on some of the poles that were placed at various corners of the stage. That sight was always a welcoming one by all the men who went inside the high class club.

"Damn. Who is that?" Wooyoung pointed in the direction of a certain dancer who had caught his attention.

Following his finger, Yunho widened his eyes when he saw who it was that Wooyoung had spotted. She was indeed very captivating. Her movements were very sensual and completely fluid, it was more than obvious her technique was precise. Even her hair seemed to dance along with her body. She'd effortlessly spin around the metal pole as if it was the most natural thing in the world for her. Although she was placed towards the back, she seemed to dominate the stage alone with her presence. She just exuded charisma and eroticism that no doubt had many of the males growing a little problem in their pants thanks to her, Wooyoung and Yunho being no exception. They became lost in the beautiful and fascinating female, falling her charms as if her dance hypnotized them.

It was Yunho who snapped himself out of it when he took a closer look at her face and felt like something was off.

"How old is she? She looks a little... too young." Despite having been involved in the criminal world for years, having seen and committed many illegal acts, Yunho was not tolerant of anything that involved the exploitation of individuals who were too young for such a life.

Realizing he was right, Wooyoung shifted uncomfortably in his seat and cleared his throat. Calling over one of the male waiters, Yunho had to inquire about her.

"What can you tell me about the pretty face right over there?"

Seeing who he was referring to, the male server chuckled.

"Oh. That's Y/N. She's new here, started a few weeks ago but she's already conquered a lot of admirers as you can tell."

Indeed, as they looked around, most men had their eyes trained on her, no doubt imagining what she'd look like if you removed the lace bustier top and butt hugging leather shorts.

"How old is she?" Yunho got to the point.

Understanding what he meant, the server quickly dismissed his fears.

"I don't know exactly but I know for sure she's very much an adult. I'd say very early 20's, although I get that with that innocent looking baby face many wouldn't believe it. Folks seem to dig that though. Angelic face, sinful body? No wonder men are lusting over her."

Glancing over at their respective friend, the two men shared a small smirk between each other before settling back down to continue admiring the pretty girl.

"If you bosses would like, we could arrange a private show with her for you." The male staff offered but Wooyoung shook his head.

"No no, I don't think that will be necessary."

But he found that his resolve would soon come crumbling down when the young female took notice of their gawking towards her. Although she had never seen them before, she enjoyed the way their eyes were raking her body. She made sure not to break eye contact with them as she performed her next set of moves, which became a lot more sultry and risque in nature. She purposefully bent down or over more so her ass and tits would be the main focus of their staring.

"Fuck. I'd love to bend that ass over my lap." Yunho bit down on his bottom lip as one hand slowly rubbed the top of his thigh when she sent a flirtatious wink his way.

"Then why don't we make it come true?"

Calling for the male staff's attention once more, Wooyoung pulled out a large bill and placed it on the empty tray he was holding.

"I think we're going to take you on that offer, that is if the lady doesn't mind."

The staff couldn't help but snort.

"Trust me, I don't think she would mind one bit."

Ushering them to follow him, the male staff led them through the crowd of people that were gathered at the main showroom and down one of the hallways. Wooyoung and Yunho were surprised when instead of taking them to the upstairs private rooms, their guide instead took them down stairs.

"We don't actually tell most people this but our best and most expensive private rooms are actually down here and not upstairs. We only reserve them for V.I.P guests. And there's a bonus.."

The male staff typed in a code into the keypad that kept the entrance to the room locked and opened it up for them to let themselves in.

"There's absolutely no cameras, no rules, and you don't have to worry about anyone hearing anything." The man slyly told them as he walked off and told them to enjoy themselves.

Looking around, indeed the room was even better than the upper ones they had often rented. Not only was it bigger, it had a full bar for them to enjoy, there were multiple couches and they even mounted a pole in the middle of the room. Lilac curtains were strategically placed around to decorate the room which looked marvelous against the blue LED lights that illuminated several parts of the room so everything inside would be clearly visible. They could even make out a faint scent of lavender and vanilla, no doubt infused with pheromones to further enhance sexual arousal.

"No rules he said.... perfect." Wooyoung grinned as he made himself comfortable on one of the couches.

"Just because there are no cameras doesn't mean you can behave as you like. Remember that she'll probably only be here to dance for us and nothing else." Yunho reminded him.

"Relax old man, you know I would never touch a woman without her consent. Lucky me, I'm still handsome .... and rich." Wooyoung laughed slightly as he pulled out a bundle of money from his pocket causing his friend to roll his eyes.

"And what makes you think that is going to entice the young lady to suck your dick? If anything, she'll prefer someone younger and not some... geezer." He poked fun at his friend who looked at him with an unamused face.

"Look who's talking boomer." He scoffed at him.

Both of the men put an end to their small bantering when the door suddenly opened and in came none other than the very object of their fantasies, her stiletto heels clicking against the marble floor. She eyed them up and down with a curious expression, the corners of her mouth curling up just subtly.

"Hello there beautiful." Wooyoung leaned back and took in her figure.

"Good evening gentlemen." She greeted them as she shifted her weight from leg to the other one, her hands placed on her hips respectively.

"Y/N is it?" Yunho inquired as he tried to keep a little more decorum and tried not to stare too much at her.

"Unless you'd prefer to call me something else." She grinned at them with a smoldering expression.

"I'd love to call you mine." Wooyoung put his thoughts out there for the other two occupants in the room to hear, shocking and embarrassing one while the other seemed delighted to hear him say that.

"Wooyoung! Control yourself." Yunho nudged him with his elbow, warning him not to try anything stupid or foolish.

"And tell me then handsome, just how do you want me?"

Both men whipped their heads at her question, wondering if they heard her right.

"Umm- excuse me?" Yunho wanted her to clarify what she meant.

The young dancer took slow and careful steps closer to them, beginning to round the table that stood in between her and the couch they were seated in.

"On my knees, on all fours, against the wall, or laying down, just tell me what position you want me in." She was completely unafraid as she now carefully sat on the table right in front of them, spreading her legs just a little bit, daring them not to gaze in between them which they both ultimately failed in doing.

She was driving them crazy, making them lose every last bit of self control they had. And the way she'd innocently bat her eyelashes at them was not helping their case, it only served to fuel their growing lust for her even more. Wooyoung was about to speak up, but Yunho of course stopped him.

"No-no honey. We just wanted you to keep us some company." He wanted to slap himself for sounding so old fashioned.

Y/N tilted her head at his explanation.

"Keep you company? You mean like this?"

Not expecting her to get up and suddenly straddle his lap, Yunho's eyes shot wide open when her chest was practically pressing against his face. Y/N gently caressed the hair around his temples, not so subtly grinding herself on his tent that was hardening even further. His friend next to him was equally surprised and jealous that it wasn't his lap that the young lady chose to situate herself on.

"Is this what you wanted?"

When Yunho shifted under her and stammered out an incoherent babble of words, Y/N took hold of his hands and placed them on her hips.

"It's ok baby. You can touch me if you want. I don't mind." She encouraged him with a sweet smile on her face.

"I'm not sure I want to..." As soon as he said that, he regretted his words especially after seeing the disheartened look on Y/N's pretty face.

"Well I know for a fact I do so give her to me if you don't want her."

She let out a squeal when she was suddenly pulled of Yunho's lap and instead perched upon one of Wooyoung's strong and muscular thighs. He couldn't stop smiling as his hands rubbed against the sides of her waist.

"So tell me what's a gorgeous and young lady such as yourself doing in a place like this?" He was genuinely curious as to why someone like her would seek out work as an exotic dancer.

"Well it definitely brings in a lot of money, but I'm not going to deny that I do enjoy the attention and stares of some of the patrons like to give me." She answered, her hand reaching over to loosen up the tie around his neck.

"Oh, so you like being a little exhibitionist?" Wooyoung wiggled his eyebrows at her.

"God yes! But my ex boyfriend wasn't a fan of my occupation, hence why he left." She let out a tiny huff at the information.

"Well if you ask him he's an idiot for that. I know if I had a sexy girl like you, I wouldn't mind showing her off a little. Let others admire her like the goddess she is."

As he said those words to her, Wooyoung's fingers slowly peeled the straps of her top off her shoulders, his tips tracing along the outline of her collarbone. Y/N didn't budge when she felt Wooyoung's lips kiss across her shoulder and the side of her neck, she merely tilted her head to the opposite side so it would give him more access to suckle along her smooth skin. Yunho watched all of this with an aching hard on and clenched fist as he realized it could have been him in Wooyoung's position at that moment.

"Truthfully I don't miss him, he was very controlling anyways, but I gotta say...." She bit down on her lip, a bit unsure about continuing her sentence.

"It's ok baby. You can tell us anything you want." Wooyoung assured her as his teeth tugged at her earlobe.

Sucking in a breath she didn't know she was holding, Y/N spilled her secret out.

"I've just been a lot more horny ever since I started this job and I don't have anyone to fuck me like a slut. God I just want a big, fat cock to tear my pussy apart."

Both men looked at each other and exchanged a few suspicious glances before returning their attention back on the girl on Wooyoung's lap.

"Are you horny right now darling?" He asked her as his hand came to the front of her top and started undoing the buttons that ran through the middle.

"If I say yes, will one of you fuck me?" She turned her head to look at Yunho, not wanting him to feel left out. Her hand even reached over so it could brush along the tent in his pants, which he welcomed graciously and even allowed her to palm his hard on as she pleased.

"Oh honey, if you want, we'll both fuck you." Yunho finally spoke up after a long time of staying silent, scooting his body closer to her.

"Please do." She begged them, eyes looking like a pitiful little pup.

Undoing the last button, Wooyoung peeled the top off her, both men releasing groans when her breasts came into view. They looked so soft and smooth and it took everything in them not to take one in each of their mouths and devour them. Getting off of Wooyoung's thigh so she could sit right in between both men, Y/N took one of their hands and set them right on her mounds.

"Touch me, please. I want your guys' hands all over me."

Each one of the men began to squeeze at her tits, Wooyoung opting for a more rough approach, even pinching at her nipples, while Yunho took his time in massaging her flesh, thumb rubbing circles on her hardened peak. Y/N was already loving the two opposite dynamics both men were giving her, it was exactly what she'd been craving in a long time. She threw her head back when Wooyoung stooped down to take the breast he was currently toying with into his mouth, teeth tugging at her tiny bud. She was releasing heavy breaths as he continued to suck at her tender skin, eyes closing as she began to get lost in the pleasure. She nearly whined when she felt Yunho take his hand off her breast, but it was caught in his mouth since he moved his hand from her chest so it could cup her chin. Tilting it towards him, he began to kiss her hungrily. She gratefully welcomed the intrusion of his tongue in her mouth, letting it slither inside of it, taking complete control of her.

Taking advantage of his friend moving his hand away, Wooyoung moved so he was sitting right in front of her. Y/N pryed her legs open so he could be easily accommodated between her body. He moved his mouth to latch onto her other breast, giving it the special attention its twin had already received. He became a little harsher as he began to plaster marks on the underside of her boob and on the top of them. Each time he sank his canines down onto her skin, Y/N would emit a semi pained whimper that was muffled by Yunho's tongue as it swirled against her own wet muscle. Moving further south, Wooyoung began dragging his tongue down her sternum until it reached her belly button. Coming face to face with her leather shorts, Wooyoung grabbed the sides of the fabric before swiftly pulling it down her legs. Y/N shuddered when a small waft of cool air breezed over her wet heat.

"Fucking hell, what a nice and wet pussy you have little lady." Wooyoung stared in amazing at her shining folds that were inviting him to dive in and feast upon their sweet juices.

Pulling away so he could glimpse down at the lady's intimate place, Yunho moaned deeply when he saw what his friend was looking at.

"Fuck we've barely done anything and you're already this wet for us? You flatter us baby." He chuckled as he went back in to continue their makeout session.

Wooyoung's fingers slid around her folds, teasing her as they grazed over her slit, always stopping before they touched her clit. Y/N was yearning to be touched and she did not appreciate the older man's teasing. Yunho of course noticed since her needy whining was being spilled into his mouth.

"Is that a promise?" Wooyoung challenged.

"Wooyoung stop making her wait and eat her out before I shove you to the ground and I finger her cunt until she's squirting all over your face." He warned in between kisses.

Pulling back with a snarl, Yunho stared menacingly at his friend.

"Fucking eat her pussy or I'll get my men to hold you down and make you watch as I fuck her."

Shrugging off Yunho's threat, Wooyoung latched his mouth onto the young female's mound and started fucking it with his tongue. Y/N couldn't help but gasp as Wooyoung's skillful and experienced tongue swirled and sucked along her folds. He made sure to focus most of his attention on her clit, nibbling down on it while making sure he didn't accidentally grazed his teeth onto them.

"You like the way Wooyoung is eating you out baby?" Yunho asked as his large hands cupped your breasts once more, squishing them together as his thumbs toyed with your nipples.

"Yes! Shit! He's amazing!" She gasped out when he gave her a particularly long suck to thank her for her praises, a cocky grin forming.

"Heard that Woo? The little lady is enjoying it." Yunho gushed as he brought one breast up to place kisses on it.

Wooyoung responded with a moan against her pussy, his hands spreading her legs as far as they could go so he could lap reach every inch of flesh with his tongue. He left no place untouched as he practically smothered his face into her juicy core. Y/N's body started to tremble as she felt herself being thrown over the precipice. Yunho kept holding onto her as she began cumming on Wooyoung's face.

"Fuck- oh shit!" She cursed with scrunched eyes as an intense orgasm took over her senses.

Wooyoung didn't detach his mouth from her core until he made certain that she had released all the juices she possibly could, which ultimately ended up swallowed by him since he could not leave a drop to waste. When Y/N came to her senses, she still felt as if she was in a permanent high.

"I've never came from someone eating my pussy out. That was the first time anyone has made me orgasm from one." She admitted rather shyly.

"That's probably because you've only had amateur assholes perform oral on you honey. I've got years of experience. I know what a girl wants when she's getting her sweet pussy eaten out." Wooyoung boasted as he sat down next to her.

"Well I think it's only fair I show my gratitude to you both right?"

Sliding off the couch, Y/N got on her knees and beckoned the men to stand at each of her sides. Lifting her hands up, she began to palm their clothed cocks. She could only imagine how big they were since they already felt pretty packed even in their confinement. Although it was a little hard doing it with one hand, she managed to unzip both of their pants and slowly dragged them down their thighs until she was blessed by the sight of their mature cocks springing forward, fully erect and waiting for her to touch them. Her mouth was agape as she took one in each hand and began pumping them.

"God you're both so big."

Both men let out small laughs at her reaction.

"What? Never seen cocks like ours before baby?" Wooyoung asked.

"Not in person and I've always wanted to be fucked by sizes like yours."

Her hand continued to stroke their lengths. She even went as far as to spit on both of them so it would be easier to glide her hand along their shaft. Although Yunho was definitely the bigger of the two, packing a monster sized cock, Wooyoung was also pretty endowed and she had no doubt that with his cocky attitude he definitely knew how to use his dick in the best way possible. She couldn't help herself and actually brought both of their tips to her mouth. Her tongue alternated between licking Wooyoung's head before giving attention to Yunho's, both of them hissing when they felt her tongue on them. Y/N did not shy away from even slurping one both of them at the same time, opening her mouth as much as it could to fit their heads inside and sucking them in.

"Oh shit! You're such a dirty little girl." Yunho muttered out as his hand came down to pet the top of her head.

"Tell me are you always such a whore for your other customers?" Wooyoung's tone had a slight hint of jealousy at the thought of someone else getting the special treatment they were getting.

"Hmmm no. None of the other people have ever interested me. You guys are the first that made me wanna get a little naughty." She confessed with an innocent smile before taking each of their balls and giving them a few harsh sucks, coating them generously with her saliva. Although it was more than arousing having their young companion jerk them off simultaneously, even giving their slits a couple licks every now and then, the men knew they wanted a little more. They wanted to corrupt the woman in front of them and make a mess all over her.

"You wanna get even more naughty baby?" Yunho's voice dropped down 2 tones as he began taking his shirt off, Wooyoung following suit.

"Yes." She looked between one of the men and then to the other, nearly drooling when she saw their fit abs come into her view.

Lifting her up, Yunho effortlessly sat her back down on the couch.

"Want us to fuck you?" He continued to ask as he and his friend finished stripping themselves out of their clothes.

"Yes! Please fuck me." She encouraged, beckoning them over as she got on all fours for them.

"Well I don't know about you, but I really wanna see what that pretty mouth of hers does, especially after getting a sneak peak." Stepping over to her face, Wooyoung rubbed the tip of his cock along the top of her lip.

Y/N giggled as she took Wooyoung's length in one of her hands once more, pressing kisses along his head. She was so distracted in playing around and teasing Wooyoung that she didn't notice Yunho had placed himself right behind until she felt his bulge rubbing along her ass cheeks.

"I hope you don't mind sweetheart, but I wasn't expecting to get so lucky to be able to fuck a pretty girl such as yourself tonight so I'm afraid I brought no condoms...."

Y/N gasped when she felt a long finger insert itself into her ass.

"So I'm going to have to settle for fucking this other hole of yours." He circled his finger around her hole to further stretch her out, eventually adding a second finger inside her.

"If that's all right with you of course."

Y/N responded with a moan and pushed her butt further back so his fingers could sink deeper in her.

"I'd say it's more than ok with her. Look at how desperate she looks." Wooyoung lightly giggled, tapping the head of his cock against both of her cheeks.

"Open up."

Following his orders, Y/N allowed him to slip himself into her warm and wet mouth, unable to help but groan when he pushed half of his length in.

"What's wrong baby? Can't fit all of me inside?"

Taking it as a challenge, Y/N hollowed her cheeks even further and pushed herself forward until her nose pressed against his pubic bone. Although she choked slightly when she felt him hit the back of her throat, she was still able to swirl her tongue around him and properly accommodate him.

"For someone so young, you sure do seem to have a lot of experience." Wooyoung pointed out as his hands gently caressed her stuffed cheeks.

"That's cause she's nothing but a whore."

Y/N clenched around nothing as she heard Yunho's degradation, humming against Wooyoung's length as she felt his long fingers collect some of her slick and used it as a makeshift lube to spread around her asshole. Making sure she was all prepped and properly stretched out, Yunho took his sizeable dick and very slowly pushed himself into her ass, wanting to savor how her tightness hugged every inch of him. His head was thrown back when he stuffed her ass full of his cock, nails digging into her cheeks as he held back the urge to ram himself brutally and tear her ass up. When he did not move for a few seconds, Y/N grew impatient and pulled herself off him only to stuff him back inside.

"Don't make our pretty baby wait by being gentle Yunho. Can't you see she's desperate to have you break her apart?" Wooyoung smirked as pulled out of her mouth only to force himself back in, holding her head in place before releasing her. Y/N gagged around his cock, a tiny slick of drool falling out of the corners of her mouth.

"Is that what you want? Want us to be rough with you?"

Yunho got a response in the form of a moan around Wooyoung's dick and a tightening around his own cock .

"Ok shit! Yunho you better start fucking her cause I can't hold back anymore."

Not caring to wait and see if his friend would follow his instructions, Wooyoung gripped the back of Y/N's head and started bucking his hips into her mouth. Garbled noises that were muffled by Wooyoung's intrusion were spilling forth out of her, which were further intensified in range when the male behind her likewise started moving.

"Oh shit! You're so tight, you feel amazing little lady." Yunho praised as he slammed his hips onto her ass, watching it smack against his skin and wiggle every time he pounded back into her.

Y/N whimpered when one of Yunho's hands snaked in between her thighs and began to rub circles around her clit, further boosting the feeling they were giving her. With one of them fucking her face and the other one ramming into her ass, she felt so full and stuffed to the brim and she absolutely loved it.

"You enjoying this honey? Are you enjoying as two older men use you as their fuck toy?" Wooyoung's question was met by a loud vibration of her whimpers around him, his cock twitching at the feeling.

"Of course she's enjoying it. She loves getting used and treated as nothing more than a cum bucket." Yunho groaned in a raspy voice. His fingers which were moving earnestly around her bundle of nerves moved to strike them, making their recipient shudder when more stinging slaps were placed on her mound.

Tears of pleasure were rolling down Y/N's eyes as she was being fucked past her limit by the older and dangerous criminals. Never in her life did she actually believe such men like them would fulfill one of her deepest fantasies, yet here she was, gurgling and swallowing around one huge dick while her ass was getting torn apart by an even bigger cock. Not to mention Yunho was making sure she'd be tipped over the edge again as he worked his fingers on her clit, alternating between rubbing harshly against it before slapping it once more. During one of these hard smacks, she began crying out as her body began spasming and bursting out in pleasure, her juices spilling out of her.

"Oh fuck! She's cumming already." Wooyoung's words were becoming more slurred as he felt his own high fast approaching.

"I know. I'm gonna cum-" Yunho grunted as he plunged himself faster in her, his low and deep moans mixing with Wooyoung's higher pitched ones as both men used their pretty dirty dancer to push themselves over the edge, their relentless pace only helping to elongate the orgasm the girl under them was having.

"Fuck! Fuck!" Pulling out with a hiss, Yunho wrapped his hand around his cock and pumped himself furiously until white spurts of cum were being plastered all over her ass cheeks. He didn't stop until he made sure to paint her butt with all the cum he had to give.

Meanwhile, Wooyoung held her head in place as he fucked his own cum down her throat.

"Swallow it all you dirty whore. I don't want you spilling out a single drop. Got it?" He ordered as he spilled his seed into her mouth, which Y/N promptly swallowed as he said to. She kept eye contact throughout the entire process of having him rut his hips against her face, his mouth agape and blurting out swear after swear as he emptied himself in her mouth.

A popping sound was made when he pulled out of her, saliva plastered all over her lips which were red and swollen after the rough treatment they were put through. Both men slumped down on the couch to catch their breath and collect their senses. Yunho was the first one to gain his energy back and began to look for something to clean up, luckily finding a few hand towels near the mini bar. Coming back over where the other two occupants were, he began wiping off the leftover cum on Y/N's ass.

"You doing ok babe?" Yunho wanted to make sure.

"I'm doing wonderful, thank you." She giggled when Yunho pressed a light slap on her ass at her response.

After making sure to clean up properly, Yunho and Wooyoung gathered their clothes and began dressing themselves again while the exotic dancer simply sat there and watched them, lip poked out in a pensive thought.

"Will I see you guys some other night?"

Yunho and Wooyoung looked back and forth between each other and at her.

"Do you wanna see us again?" Wooyoung asked, his hopes getting up.

Y/N smiled at him.

"Of course I do. Just be sure to bring condoms next time. I'd really love to feel you both destroy my pussy next time."

The men chuckled at her bold words.

"Oh baby, it'll be our pleasure."

♡*:.｡..｡.:*♡♡*:.｡..｡.:*♡♡*:.｡..｡.:*♡♡*:.｡..｡.:*♡

#ateez #ateez scenarios #ateez fluff #ateez imagines #ateez smut #ateez fanfic #ateez fanfiction #ateez yunho #ateez wooyoung #ateez mafia au #mafia!ateez #mafia!au #ateez dilf au #dilf!ateez #ateez yunho scenarios #ateez yunho imagines #ateez yunho smut #ateez yunho fluff #ateez yunho fanfiction #ateez yunho fanfic #ateez wooyoung smut #ateez wooyoung fluff #ateez wooyoung scenarios #ateez wooyoung imagines #ateez wooyoung fanfiction #ateez wooyoung fanfic #jeong yunho #jung wooyoung #jeong yunho smut #jung wooyoung smut

[stab-the-son-of-a]

“Thank you for calling 877-W-H-M-P-NOW, the whump hotline. How may I direct your call?”

“Oh God, oh God, there’s so much blood.”

“I see, I take it you’ve accidentally stabbed your whumpee?”

“Yes! Yes- oh fuck, it’s all over the carpet!”

There comes the sound of distracted typing and the distant crunch of a potato chip. The operator swallows both the food and a sip of water and clears their throat. “Alright, I’ll provide some basic troubleshooting now before I transfer you. How’s that sound?”

“I don’t care, I just need help!”

“Yelling doesn’t solve anything, thank you. Let’s be polite to one another. Now, can you tell me where your whumpee is bleeding from?”

“The- the stomach. I - fuck, I didn’t mean to!”

“I know,” the operator says patiently, commiserating, drawing on their own experiences with their first over-enthused attempts with a knife. They examine a bit of dried blood under their nails and pick at it. “No one ever wants the fun to stop, and I’ll make sure it doesn’t. I’m going to have you apply pressure to the wound, can you do that for me?”

The caller makes an audible noise of disgust. In response the operator rolls their eyes and switches the phone over to their other ear, taking the moment to place another chip in their mouth. It never fails, always on their lunch break.

“I know, the messy parts are always less fun. You could use a towel, or blanket, or other absorbent material.”

“I have their shirt?”

“Is it sentimental to them?”

“Uh—“ A brief pause. The caller whispers indistinctly to their captive. Excitedly, they answer, “It belonged to their deceased parent!”

“That is *perfect*! Nothing quite like taking something cherished and ruining it for them.”

“Okay... okay I’m applying pressure. What now?”

“Now I transfer you to our Human Resource Management department. Please hold.”

“Wait what—”

The operator clicks the hold button with a triumphant smirk, toying next with the curls of the phone cable. Humming under their breath, they wait a few more minutes, another few bars. That’ll give their caller plenty of time to relax. Next, they dial the number for HR.

“Fran, honey, please tell me you have something interesting for me. I’m positively dying of boredom here.” Case in point, the distinctive slap of flesh on rubber, then the wall, tells the beleaguered operator that in their boredom, the HR lead has resorted to throwing a ball against the wall.

“‘fraid not, Gladys.” They take another sip to hide their amusement. The mental image is clear, of Gladys from HR leaning back in her chair as far as she can without overbalancing, tossing the ball up in the air idly. “I have another knife amateur on line two whose whumpee accidentally sprung a leak.”

“Oh my God, can’t these fools use WikiHow once in a while? Or practice first?!”

“Sorry, baby girl, you know I’d give you the fun ones if I ever got any.”

Gladys lets out a long suffering sigh. The legs of her chair hit the ground with rhythmic thuds. “Okay,” she whines. “Transfer them. Maybe next time I’ll get lucky.”

The operator laughs. “And maybe one of these days I’ll be able to have a lunch break in peace.”

“Babe, you’re a riot.”

“Annnnd... transfer.”

Before they hang up, Fran hears Gladys greet the client with a chipper and practiced, “Thank you for holding, this is the Human Resource Department, how may I help you?”

Fran sighs and returns to their lunch. Just another day at WHMP Call Center.

#1-877-WHMP-NOW #knife mention #blood mention #nooooo this isn’t inspired by that one post going around about the inexperienced whumpers #WCC series #WCC Gladys #WCC Fran #Crack whump

[mercy-burning]

Move This Along

Part of Mercy’s 1k Celebration: A collection of Spencer Reid x Reader requests to celebrate 1,000 followers.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!Reader Summary: After months of waiting, Spencer decides he finally wants to have sex with Reader. Category: SMUT (18+) Warnings: Language, sex (oral sex- female receiving, virgin!Spence, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, creampie) Word Count: 5.6k

Full Request: “...so a smutty oneshot with like virgin!spencer but im talkling like baby spence. and hes super blushy and cute but then when it happens its rlly raunchy and therws a lot of dirty talk. and like reader doesnt work at the bau but theyre close friends. and like she goes out to a bar with him and the team and they tease him so then she takes him home and literally fucks him after a movie or smth idk...” — @mggscumrag

MASTERLIST | 1K MASTERLIST

NOTE: It took me forever to figure out how I wanted to do this, but once I did, it came out so quickly! I hope it’s to your liking 🥰

***

The first time she went out to meet Elle's friends from work, Y/N found herself absolutely nervous, and she wasn't sure why. She was always great with meeting new people, but for some reason, the prospect of meeting her next-door neighbor's co-workers seemed to really do a number on her.

She remembers how anxious she'd been, constantly worrying that they wouldn't like her, not to mention they were all probably super smart and strong and intimidating, just like Elle. Anyone who aided in putting away serial killers, rapists, and other monsters had to be just about the most intimidating personality there ever was.

But as Y/N soon learned, that wasn't quite the case at all.

To be fair, they were all intimidating in their own little ways, though it was really easy to forget about that when she was laughing with them, sharing drinks and stories, and exchanging phone numbers to stay in touch.

That's how she and Spencer had come to be good friends. Despite how obviously shy he was whenever they saw each other, the two of them managed to have conversations on just about everything. It usually happened that he talked and she listened to whatever he was teaching her, but she'd always add on the occasional, "Wow, I didn't know that," or "That's really fascinating." All of which she could tell he was surprised at and appreciated.

And since the first time they met at Elle's birthday party, the night she met the whole team for the first time, they'd been practically inseparable. While Y/N was good friends with the whole team, save for Gideon, who always seemed to like it better by himself, her relationship with Spencer seemed to even surpass the bond she'd built with her neighbor-slash-best friend.

Elle even told her as much one Saturday night, as the two of them were driving to the bar to meet up with everyone for a few drinks.

She'd mentioned it as a joke, but Y/N was instantly apologetic.

Elle only laughed. "Don't apologize. Actually, I think it's good that Reid has another friend outside of work. You're good for him. And you know, I think he has a little crush on you."

Warmth rushed to Y/N's cheeks, and she tried to hide it but failed miserably, causing Elle to give her a knowing smile. "Y—You don't know what you're talking about, Elle, it's not like that."

"Oh come on, it totally is. You give him the light of day when no one else does, he talks about you all the time, and everyone at work knows it."

She paused. "They... do?"

"Of course they do, we're all profilers, but it doesn't take one to see how obsessed that boy is with you. I think you should go for it."

Y/N would have been lying if she said she hadn't thought about asking him out. But in the end she had always figured it was a little weird, being that she was friends with all his and Elle's co-workers and she'd kinda been adopted into their family of sorts. But hearing what her neighbor was saying... She started to think differently about it.

"You really think so?"

Elle nodded. "Absolutely."'

"Okay," she replied with an excited smile. "Maybe I will, then."

A week later and the two of them started dating. Y/N always thinks back to the first few weeks of their relationship, how adorably shy and blush-prone Spencer was, even after they'd been together for some time. They spent almost all their free time together, and it still seemed like he was nervous to be around her. He'd assured her on multiple occasions that that wasn't the case, but Y/N still wondered why he hadn't fully warmed up to being around her.

Especially in public. Oh, in public it was worse. Y/N clung to his arm, and his face immediately got red. What confused her the most, though, was that every time she pulled away to make him more comfortable, he pulled her back in, seemingly desperate to feel her warmth.

In the end she and Spencer had grown to develop their own little communication system for public settings, something to let the other know when something was really wrong, and when to ask if the other was comfortable.

One night everyone was meeting after a rough case somewhere in Denver, and Y/N offered to buy everyone drinks once Spencer had called to tell her they were all back. It wasn't out of the ordinary for her to do that, but it had been a while, so everyone was quick to except. Well, mostly everyone— Gideon as per usual went his separate way, and Hotch was eager to get home and see his family.

Y/N was waiting for them at their favorite bar downtown when she heard a loud squeal that sounded a lot like her name. Sure enough, it was easy to spot a very yellow-clad Penelope Garcia headed straight towards her with her arms stretched out for a hug when she turned around. The smile she adorned was instantaneous as her arms came out a well, embracing Penelope with a large hug that almost knocked the wind out of her.

"I missed you!" she exclaimed, still hugging Y/N and swaying them back and forth a little. "I mean, I know I don't ever travel with the team, but because of that we should hang out more."

"Next time I need some company, I know who to call."

Y/N spotted Spencer then, behind Penelope and patiently waiting for a greeting. She smiled at him and whispered, "Hi," to which Penelope must have heard.

She quickly released her from their embrace and stepped out of the way. "Oh! I'm sorry, I'm keeping you from your boy wonder."

She laughed as she transferred from Penelope's arms to Spencer's. He muttered a little, "Hi," into her hair as she squeezed him and shoved her face into his neck. If she had to bet, he was probably red as a tomato right now with how close her mouth was to his neck—it was his weakness and she knew it. And just to tease him a little bit she quickly kissed up his neck, his jaw, and placed a decent peck on his lips before pulling away and grabbing his hand.

Despite the shy smile and the blush adorning his cheeks, he squeezed her hand tight and kept her at his side like they would die if they weren't touching at all times.

Everyone gave little greetings to Y/N as they all made their way to a large booth near the back. Y/N was sitting on one side with Elle to her right and Spencer to her left, while Derek, Penelope, and JJ sat across from them. Y/N got them all their preferred drinks, and a beer for herself, which Spencer couldn't help but find oddly attractive.

He glanced over at her as she took swigs from the bottle as the night progressed, and for whatever reason the sight made his insides all warm and tingly. And when she used her unoccupied hand to grab his under the table, rubbing gentle circles over the inside of his palm with her thumb, he'd never felt more in love with another person. He wasn't even drinking any alcohol, yet his head swam and his heart soared all the same, every bone in his body humming with euphoria at just the mere thought of her.

He must have been staring a little too obviously, because Derek kicked his leg under the table, pulling him from the lovesick daydream he never wanted to leave.

"I can't tell if those are cute ol' puppy dog eyes or bedroom eyes," Derek laughed, and everyone laughed right alongside him.

"Oh, stop it," Penelope said, swatting his arm. "He's obviously just very in love with her, what more could you need to know?"

"Oh, come on, tell me you're not curious to know how they... operate."

She smacked him harder this time, and everyone laughed.

Knowing her boyfriend didn't really care for the spotlight, especially when it came to their relationship, Y/N squeezed Spencer's hand under the table in reassurance. She drew a question mark in his palm, their signal for, "Are you uncomfortable?" And he responded by drawing an "X" in her palm, their answer for, "No." She laced their fingers together then, and set her beer down.

"Morgan, our sex life isn't any of your business," she stated simply.

Spencer felt his stomach churn at the sentence, if only because said sex life was, as of late, non-existent.

He and Y/N had made out a lot, sure, but the one time they did try having sex, he made it about ten seconds being inside of her before he finished, and since then he'd been kind of embarrassed about it. They only ever made out since then, because before it ever got that far he stopped it, nervous that he'd disappoint her.

And now his non-existent sex life was the topic of conversation, and if anyone picked up on it, he would have felt worse about the whole thing.

So, he didn't stop himself from speaking. "But if you must know, it's great."

Y/N's hand tensed up in his, and she looked over at him, shock marinating in her eyes. To anyone else it would have looked like she was surprised he'd even bring it up, but he knew she was most likely more curious to know why he'd lied about it.

Their friends laughed regardless, Elle adding a curious and joking, "Care to elaborate?"

Ready to change the subject, Spencer shook his head. "Nope."

"Yeah, actually I think we're gonna head out early," Y/N added. Spencer was suddenly worried he'd made her upset, but she rubbed gentle circles into his hand that reassured him everything was okay.

He got out of the booth and Y/N followed, as their friends grumbled.

"Oh, come on, we didn't mean to embarrass you guys," Derek said.

"No, that's not it," Y/N said as she threw on a light jacket. "You just reminded me how much I'd like to operate with my boyfriend since I haven't seen him in a few days, so we're leaving. Have a good night."

Spencer felt searing heat rise to his cheeks as he turned around and ushered Y/N out the door, accompanied by low whistles and claps from their friends.

***

The two of them were sitting on the couch now, Y/N having just set down a couple classes of water.

"Sorry if you wanted to stay," she said quietly, playing with her thumbs. "You know we don't... actually have to operate if you don't want, obviously, I was just looking for something to say..."

"Oh, Y/N, I know. Don't worry about it. Really, I... I was the one who even brought it up, I should have just let you handle it."

She looked up at him with a small smile. "Why.. did you bring it up anyway?"

"Well, I... I guess I just felt embarrassed. And I know what we do together isn't any of their business, but I was just... I really was thinking about how much I love you, and when Morgan brought it up, I felt like I wasn't... living up? To your expectations? I don't..." He sighed, unsure how to properly articulate how he was feeling. "I don't know. I just thought about the last time we tried having sex, and I felt embarrassed about it, that's all."

"Oh, honey," Y/N cooed, scooting closer to him and bringing her hand up to brush some of the hair from his face. "You know, you... don't have anything to prove, right? I know how much you love me, and you don't need to be having sex with me to show me, I hope you know that."

Still, he couldn't bring himself to look at her face. "I do," he choked out, pulling at the hem of his shirt. "I'm... I'm sorry."

Y/N's tongue clicked, and she leaned into him, wrapping one of her arms around his neck and placing the other across his lap. She held him tight and kissed the side of his head. "Don't you ever be sorry, unless you cheat on me. Then there will be something to be sorry about."

He laughed at her joke, turning his head to brush his nose against hers. "I love you."

"I love you, too," she whispered, giving him the lightest of kisses on the lips.

When she pulled away, he leaned in again, kissing her a little harder, and she gladly reciprocated. With every passing second, all of his worries started to melt away like the snow to her sunshine. Within every kiss was an emanation of outpouring love and comfort that warmed his soul and gave him the confidence to try something bold.

His hands threaded through her hair as he drew her in closer, and instinctively, she climbed over his lap, resting her hands on his shoulders as he gently probed her mouth with his tongue. The sound of her sigh as she opened up to him and allowed him to fully explore her mouth with his made his stomach bubble and tense.

This would be about the time where he'd stop, telling Y/N that they should slow down, and she'd sweetly oblige and stay cuddled into his side as they drifted off to sleep.

But tonight he didn't want that.

Tonight he wanted more.

While one of his hands remained in her hair, gently massaging her scalp, the other snaked down to her lower back. He gently slid his fingers under the fabric of her shirt and pressed his palm flat against her, pulling her closer to him with a desperation that both shocked and excited her.

Deciding to test the waters, Y/N rolled her hips, feeling him jump slightly underneath her, followed by a whine that vibrated her mouth and sent a low hum of pressure through her stomach.

Still, she pulled away.

Well... She tried to.

When she pulled her face away from him, Spencer used the hand in her hair to bring her back, tilting his head in the other direction and continuing to kiss her with enough passion for the both of them. And it didn't help that the sound she made when he did it spurred him on. She whimpered loudly into his mouth, and the hand on her back involuntarily slid down to grab her ass.

"Hey," she managed to get out when he pulled away momentarily for air. "Hey, you don't... We don't have to really do this if you don't want. I—I don't want you to think that what happened earlier means we have to have sex."

"Y/N..." His hand gently kneaded her ass, and against her better judgement, she rolled her hips again, sighing out against his lips. "I don't want to put it off any longer... Really, I... I want to. I want to show you how much I love you."

She kissed him softly again, bringing both of her hands up to cradle his face. "You already do. Every day."

She was giving him an out, and Spencer appreciated it. But with the way his insides were practically melting away at her presence, he knew more than anything that this was what he wanted.

"I know," he said. "But if you don't mind, today I'd like to show you a little extra." And then he kissed her deeply again.

Her hands tightened on his face, right before they slid up and through his hair. She gently tugged at it, and he let out one of the most delicious sounds she'd ever heard. For future reference, she relished in that sound, in that feeling, and made a mental note to try it out some more when they got further along in their sexual path.

But tonight, she would let him call the shots. He was finally ready to try it again, and seeing how confident he grew in his touches and kisses when she submitted to him, it was the simplest decision.

So she remained on his lap until he made another move, encouraging him with whimpers and languid rolls of her hips against his. Her hands grew frenzied in his hair when he dipped his hand past the waistband of her jeans and underwear, sticking his fingers in only about a knuckle deep. The warmth of his hands against her bare skin sent shivers down her spine, which she let show by involuntarily grinding down on his lap.

Spencer groaned deeply more than whined this time, his grip on her hands gripping tighter to her backside. He forced himself to remove his mouth from hers long enough to breathe out, "Bedroom. Please."

As much as Y/N didn't want to get off of his lap, she knew that what waited for her in the bedroom would be worth the momentary loss of complete physical contact. So she peeled herself away from her boyfriend, grabbing him by the hand, and lead him to her bedroom.

Once the door was closed, he was on her again, caging her face between his large hands and capturing her lips in another heated kiss. They moved backwards until she hit her back against the door, and the second their movement stopped, Spencer used their standing position to press his full body weight into her, their legs tangling together.

Meanwhile, Y/N was trying to figure out where to put her hands. She wanted to brace them on his chest, but it was pressed tightly against hers. So they wandered over his back, but she couldn't decide whether to place them under his shirt or on his butt. Or maybe she wanted to grip his arms to feel the veins as they strained against his skin from holding her face. The possibilities were quite endless.

So endless that they were even surprising—Spencer noticed her wandering hands and promptly decided to place them where he wanted, which was apparently above her head. He removed his hands from her face and pinned her wrists to the door above her head, and she huffed a breath as he pulled away to speak.

"Is this okay? I wasn't too... too rough?"

The concern swimming in his lust-filled eyes drew a little whimper from her throat as she struggled to find the right words. But finally, she settled on, "That was so fucking hot..."

Relief flashed over his gaze right before he grinned. His fingers flexed against her wrists, and even though she couldn't see them, she could imagine how it looked. And it really was fucking hot.

Seeing the expression on her face, Spencer leaned forward again and kissed her one last time. Their lips moved together hungrily, dancing in perfect synchronization, the music being the frantic beating of their hearts.

And then he started to trail his kisses down her jaw and neck, keeping her hands firmly pinned to the door. Usually she was the one to explore his neck with her tongue and teeth, but this time he wanted to try it for himself. Mirroring what he'd felt her do to him hundreds of times over, he soaked in every single sound she made, from the little whimpers of pleasure to the soft, choked whispers of his name dancing over her lips. And when her hips canted forward, searching for any kind of friction, he decided to grant it to her.

As his kisses moved down along her collarbone, his hands gently slid down with him, over her arms and then down to the bottom of her shirt as he kneeled in front of her. He lifted the shirt slowly, each new inch of exposed skin being met with soft kisses until it reached her breasts. He reached up to palm them over her bra while he trailed his kisses downward again.

Even though she was wearing jeans, he pressed kisses to her legs anyway. She squirmed under his touch, and the feeling made his heart soar.

"Please, Spence," she huffed, bringing her hands down to lay overtop of his. She felt the tendons and veins in his hands as they squeezed her, and with everything she had, she tried not to beg him to use them in more interesting places. She wanted to let him take his time, to be a vessel for his exploration, but it was growing harder every second to be patient.

Thankfully he seemed to get what she was feeling, because his hands slid out from under her shirt and rested at her jeans. "Can I take these off?"

The fact that he even asked when she so clearly begged him to do it made her heart swell. "Please do," she chuckled, though it turned into a choked sigh when his fingers actually started undoing the button. And at the sound of her zipper going down, she could have come undone right there.

He pulled her jeans down slowly and helped her step out of them. And she thought maybe he'd take the next step and do the same with her underwear, but he opted to use his mouth instead.

With gentle kisses, he traced the hem of the fabric all the way to either side of her waist. And then he looked up at her with curious eyes and shifted his face, pressing his nose right up against where her clit would be. Her hands immediately went to his hair, but he grabbed her wrists again and laid them at her sides. "Do you want me to move this along?" His voice wasn't teasing as much as it was genuine curiosity.

Still, Y/N resisted the urge to tell him yes. "I—I want you to do whatever feels right. Tonight's... about you. What you want."

"Well, what I want is to make you feel good. So, again... Do you want me to move this along?"

Every time his lips moved, they brushed up against where she desperately wanted him. And it was killing her. So, she nodded vigorously. "Yes, please," she whispered.

And with that, Spencer released her hands and used his fingers to gently rub her over the fabric. The contact made her shiver visibly, and he took that as a good sign. So he wasted no more time and replaced his fingers with his tongue, fluttering his eyes closed at the taste of her. And he knew that once the thin fabric was gone it would be stronger, but even then he was thoroughly wrecked.

He kept lapping his tongue over her, feeling her panties get wetter with ever second, and he only finally removed them when she started grinding her hips closer to his face, desperate for more.

When he did finally bring his tongue to fully taste her for the first time, they both let out the filthiest sounds, months and months of build-up starting to come to a head. He tasted her like he would an ice cream cone, and for the first few moments his eyes remained closed, all his focus on this brand new sensation. But he wanted nothing more than to see her react to him. So he opened his eyes and continued his ministrations, pupils blowing wide at the sight of her above him.

She was panting, her mouth hung open and her tongue just barely peeking out over her bottom lip. Her eyes remained shut, though Spencer could tell she was struggling to open them. With a tentative flick of his tongue over her clit, he took notice of the little gasp she made, and he knew he'd found it. So he repeated his action, providing small kitten licks to her clit as she picked up her breathing and clenched her hands at her sides.

He picked up the pace then, taking note of every little thing that made her cry out or jump with pleasure until she was clutching his hair. He was sucking on her clit now, his middle finger gently sliding in and out of her when she spoke.

"Oh, fuck, keep doing that. I'm... I'm almost..."

He felt her tighten around his finger as she started careening off the edge, and he did his best to keep his eyes on her face, because it had practically been haunting him, wondering what it would be like to see her come undone at his mercy.

To say it was better than he could have ever dreamed was a severe understatement.

Y/N's head leaned back against the door, her chin jutted out so he could see the beautiful contours of her chin and neck. He saw her throat contract as she moaned out his name, saw her chest heave as she struggled to catch her breath, and best of all, he felt her flutter around his finger and mouth. And if that was high inducing, he couldn't wait to feel wat it would be like to replace them with something else.

The mere thought had him trembling.

He pulled back when she huffed out an over-stimulated, "Okay, please, please stop, oh..."

Though it could just as easily have been a painful sentiment, the hungry, dazed look in her eye suggested otherwise.

Spencer stood up and brought his finger to his mouth, still caught up in her taste before she ripped his wrist away and kissed him, threading her fingers through his hair and moaning into his mouth.

Before he could get lost in it, though, she pulled away and nodded. "Okay. I think you're wearing too many clothes."

He tilted his head down in a little flush, and with the help of Y/N, his shirt peeled away from his body and joined her pants and underwear on the floor.

Y/N mirrored his actions, kissing gently down his jaw, neck, and then down his torso. Her hands wandered his bare back as she sunk to her knees. But when her hands moved to his belt, he stopped her.

"W—wait."

She peeled her hands away and looked up at him. "Are you okay? Do you want to slow down?"

He visibly swallowed, and she could read that look on his face that he got whenever he was embarrassed to tell her something. "N—no, I... I want... the opposite, actually."

"I don't follow..."

"Well, I know that... if you return the favor, I won't last very long, a—and I... I don't want to wait anymore."

Y/N smiled, standing again and bringing her hands to rest on his shoulders. "So you're saying you... want me to move this along?"

Spencer smiled at her recollection of his words. "Yes, please."

They travelled to the bed then, Y/N taking off her shirt and bra when they got there, and leaving her completely bare to him. She sat down and reached for his belt, looking up at him as he stood.

"I'm clean and on birth control, do you still want to use a condom? I have some in my table drawer."

He thought about it for a moment before shaking his head. "As long as you're sure."

Y/N undid his belt quickly and threw it to the side, making work of his button and zipper with a smile. "Oh I'm so sure..."

The way she said it made his dick twitch, images running through his mind of how it would look seeing her filled and dripping with—

Her hand was palming him through his underwear now, and it was all he could think about. He had already been hard before, but now it was tilting on the precipice of painful pleasure. So he stopped her, taking a deep breath.

"Lay down?"

"However you want me," Y/N answered, positioning herself on the bed so she was leaning back, her head nicely laid out on the pillows.

Spencer swallowed and removed his underwear before climbing on the bed and kneeling over her. Her legs were already wide, feet flat on either side of him as he positioned himself and got ready.

She reached out and gently grabbed his forearm, a gentle smile on her face. "You ready?"

"Mhm," he answered with a curt nod, bringing himself forward to run the head of his dick through her wetness. They both sighed at the feeling, and Spencer knew he was in trouble.

It was finally happening, he was getting another chance to have sex with her, and if he didn't last long again, he was going to—

"I love you," Y/N said reassuringly, rubbing circles into the hand that rested on the inside of her thigh.

He looked into her eyes and saw that love radiating from them. It warmed his insides and gave him the confidence he needed to finally, slowly push into her as he whispered, "I love you, too."

Once he was fully sheathed inside her, he let out a large breath, leaning down to brace his arms on either side of her head. The pressure of her clenched around him was overwhelming in the best way possible, and he never wanted to move.

But he had to.

She stroked his hair, pressing soft kisses all over his face, and whispered, "I love you."

With those three words, Spencer had the courage to pull back and then forward again, testing the waters and more accurately, his limits. He picked up a slow pace that burned him from the inside out, every muscle and vein in his body on fire with the knowledge that he was finally, properly making love to the woman he was pretty sure he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.

But he was holding back. Y/N could tell. He glided through her with ease, sure, but his eyes were squeezed shut like he was concentrating, like he was pacing himself and trying to hold on to this feeling.

She moved her hands down to his back and lightly ran her fingernails over the skin, feeling him tremble under her touch.

"You feel so good, Spence," she whispered. "So perfect for me..."

The words made his hips stutter just a little, and Y/N knew then what the hesitation was.

He wanted to go faster.

So she moved her fingers lower, cupping his ass and scratching featherlight circles into the skin as she moaned. "You like when I talk to you, baby? Does hearing my voice help you out?"

Spencer choked out a groan as he opened his eyes and saw how feral she looked. Her pupils were blown wide, her mouth was pouted cutely, and she smiled as soon as she saw him bite his lip.

"You wanna go faster?" she cooed, digging her fingernails a little harder into the flesh of his ass. "Hmm?"

"F—fuck, Y/N... I..."

"You fuck me however you need to, baby. Don't hold back. Just let it all out."

He groaned out then, his hips picking up speed. She felt the relief and the tension rolling off his body as he finally gave into his urges, and it was just about the sexiest thing she'd ever witnessed.

"That's it, baby... Don't stop... Give it to me, let me feel you..."

He leaned down and kissed her then, pumping into her harder and harder with every second. She moaned out against his mouth, swallowing all his breaths and grunts. Meanwhile her fingers gripped his ass harder, relishing in the feeling of his muscles as they aided in fucking her.

His mouth pulled away as he shoved his face into her neck, and she sighed. "You're doing so good, baby. Fuck... " His hips kept moving, and she clenched around him hard, hoping to gauge his reaction.

Sure enough, he groaned against her neck and canted his hips harder. Every thrust forward now was so deep he hit her g-spot, and the sensation made her sigh with a smile. "That's fucking right, baby... Just like that, don't stop, don't stop. You fe—el so... ohhh."

Her words lit this fire in him that was impossible to put out. His body was hers for the taking, and so he'd give her everything he had. Which is why he picked up the pace and fucked into her as hard as he could, dangerously close to finishing.

"Fuck, Spence, I'm gonna... —na..."

Y/n's moans turned into a quiet scream as she came, clenching tightly around his dick and digging her fingernails into his ass. Her eyes squeezed shut with the swirling patterns of fireworks exploding behind them, meanwhile he twitched inside of her and lost it at last. As she came down, she helped him hold himself there, deep inside her as his cum spilled over in warm increments. They both moaned out at the feeling, all their tension easing and dissipating.

By the end, all that was left between the both of them was a thin sheen of sweat and murmured promises of "I love you."

They could have fallen asleep right there. Y/N's hands slid up his backside, over his arms, and then to the back of his head, combing gently through his disheveled hair as he pressed loving kisses to the patch of skin where her neck met her collarbone. He was still inside her, unwilling to leave the warmth she provided, and she did nothing to object.

"How are you feeling?" she finally asked, opening her eyes.

Spencer tilted his head up to look at her, his heart once again swelling at the adoring look in her eyes. "I'm great."

She laughed, and he laughed with her. And they were silent for a few moments before he spoke again.

"So, uh... What we just did is what we're counting as our real first time together, right? Like, the other time doesn't count?"

Y/N laughed again, pressing a kiss to his forehead. "If you want to count this as our first time, then yes. I'd be more than happy to agree with you."

"Good. This was much better."

Even though she would never hold their first first time together against him, she was inclined to agree.

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