#let mark call the writers a coward
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hi !!! i love thigh riding so much youre such a great writer 🫶🏻 have u heard a song called drunk text by henry moodie? can i req something for hyuck inspired by that song? maybe around 0.5K or 1K, u can make it angst or fluff or anything u like 🫶🏻 thank you so much hope you have a great day 🫂
-🍬
hii, thank u so much, it means a lot!! i hope u have a great day as well!!<3 i hope this is what you wanted, if not let me know and i’ll rewrite it/write something new!<3
drunk text ↠ lee haechan
masterlist
pairing: haechan x fem!reader
genre: angst
words: 1,174
i wish i was who you drunk texted at midnight a few days ago. i wish i was the reason you stay up 'til 3, i wish i was the boy you think about at night when you can't sleep at night. i wish i was more than just a friend to you.
“thank you for walking me home, hyuck” you said looking at him as you stood in front of your house.
“y/n, you don’t need to thank me. i like spending time with you so yeah,” he sent you a soft smile.
“the sky is beautiful tonight, right? the stars and moon are visible today, i love it!” you stared at the sky, not noticing how haechan was looking at you.
the truth is that this boy has been totally in love with you for as long as he can remember. your mutual friends, especially renjun and mark, have been telling him for a long time that he should finally confess his love to you. but he was afraid. afraid of rejection, afraid of losing you, afraid of destroying your friendship.
but he wanted you so much, he wanted to hold you in his arms and tell you how much he loves you. he wanted so much to take you on dates, hold your hands, spend every free moment with you. he would like you to let him love you the way you deserve to be loved.
“y/n i-” he paused as you looked at him. the sparkle in your eyes was beautiful. at that moment he was ready to confess his love to you, but he noticed that you were shivering from the cold, he didn't want to keep you outside, he didn't want you to get sick because of him. “forget it. go home, it’s cold.”
maybe it's a good thing he didn't say his feelings out loud, maybe he saved himself from embarrassing himself in front of you. because he knew the chances of you loving him back were slim.
so at that moment he decided to leave without turning to look at you for the last time that evening. because he didn't want you to see his teary eyes. he didn't want you to worry. he didn't want to tell you how he felt about you. he was afraid, he was a coward.
a week has passed. that day you and haechan decided to have a few drinks.
you and him had a lot of fun together. you reminisced about your childhood, watched movies, played games, joked with each other as you always used to.
haechan loved your laugh. loved the twinkle in your eyes when you laughed. he loved the way you leaned against him and grabbed his arm as you laughed. he was glad to have you in his life, he was glad to have someone who made his days so much better. he loved the feeling of butterflies in his stomach as you rested your head on his shoulder. loved the way you often talked about everything and nothing at the same time. he loved how you weren't afraid to be yourself around him.
later that night, when he got home, he burst into tears remembering how you told him that a few days ago at midnight you sent drunk texts to a man you liked. it broke his heart, but what could he do? he couldn't change it, so all he could do right now was cry out his eyes, the sick feeling circulating in his stomach.
without thinking clearly, he started texting you. funny how it was also night for him and he was as drunk as you were a few days ago when you texted your crush.
i wish i was who you drunk texted at midnight a few days ago. i wish i was the reason you stay up 'til 3, i wish i was the boy you think about at night when you can't sleep at night. i wish i was more than just a friend to you.
but he was a coward. he didn't send it, he deleted it before he clicked send.
a few months passed, spring came. it was april and everything was in bloom, a lot had changed in the world.
the boy you liked turned out to be a terrible person so even your feelings about him have changed.
the only thing that hasn't changed is his feelings for you. he still thought of you, he still loved you. maybe even more than before. sometimes he questioned if maybe you also felt the same. he wondered if he was on your mind as often as you were on his. but he was too afraid of losing a friend if he took a risk and confessed his love to you.
you got closer to him so he wondered if all the pranks and jokes you made together were just an attempt to hide your feelings for each other.
hiding his feelings for you was hard. hyuck changed a bit, he was less happy than ever which even your mutual friends noticed. they tried to convince him to confess his love, because maybe if he knew the truth what you think about him, it would be easier for him. maybe you would be happy together, or maybe if your answer was negative, then maybe he would lose his feelings and come back to life, maybe he would be happy again.
but no, he would rather lose himself than lose you. he was destroying himself to keep a friend. to keep you.
months passed again and his feelings still hadn't changed. he still wished you were his, he still wished he was the one for you. he still hoped that maybe you love him too, but like him, you're afraid to tell him.
that’s why when one day you came to him to tell him something, he was waiting like a fool to hear three words from you: I love you. after all, everyone can dream about something like that, right? especially when it was the girl you had loved for several years.
that's why he got heartbroken again when he heard something different from you, something he never wanted to hear.
“and then he asked me out and i said yes!” you said smiling happily. he wanted to be happy for you, he wanted to be happy that you were happy. but he couldn't. at that moment, not even your laughter and smile could make him feel better.
“oh, i’m glad you found someone you like,” he tried to sound enthusiastic, but as soon as the words left his mouth, he was sure they didn't sound that way. but you were definitely too happy to see how he was suffering in that moment — and that’s okay, he was glad cause he wouldn't want you to see him like that.
and as soon as you left his apartment, he slid to the floor bursting into tears. at that moment he wished he had sent that stupid message a few months ago. he regretted not confessing his feelings to you. because maybe things would have turned out differently, maybe you would have fallen in love with him too.
but now it was too late. because you fell in love with someone else, you fell in love with someone who is not him.
#nct#nct dream#nct 127#nct scenarios#nct angst#kpop#kpop au#kpop angst#haechan#haechan angst#lee haechan#lee donghyuck#donghyuck#nct drabbles#nct x reader
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Stolen fics
Guys, do ever learn?
How many times must writers/artists/GIF makers tell you to not repost = steal their work? Why not reblog the story/GIF/image you like?
A nice follower brought to my attention today that someone stole my story Rut.
Thank you again, hun.🥰 I would've never found out my story got stolen.
Not just the trope/idea. They copied and paste the whole story, only changing the names, (because they stole it for a different fandom), and lines here and there.
The user deactivated their account after I called them out via pm. Coward!
What angers me the most is the fact, they put this on the story they stole from me:
They apologize for the bad smut but stole the whole story from me?
And then, they have the audacity to warn other readers to not steal, copy or rewrite the story they stole from me!!!
Looks at this...it would've been easier to mark the parts they didn't steal from my story.😫 Proof under the cut.
Blue is their story posted in March 2023, and green is the one I posted on October 2021.
I think they believed no one will recognize my story because they stole it for the Avatar fandom...☹☹
I got tired after taking so many screenshots. Let's say they stole the last lines to end their story from my story with Sam Winchester too.
I mean, come on. I like to stop a conversation mid-sentence or mid-word when someone is surprised/shocked etc. They even stole this...
You could've at least tried to rewrite my shit a little, don't you think?
#stolen fics#im livid#people never learn#what the duck#stolen fanfiction#i'm literally so mad#don't steal#lulu rants#ignore me#long post#this sucks#don't steal our fics
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RWBY Redesign - Neptune Vasilias
As you can see, this is a redesign of Neptune Vasilias. He may be written as a supporting character, but the more he had been around the series alongside Sun Wukong, but he was more like a main character than anyone else thinks. Even the writers wasted their opportunity to develope him more, just like the rest of the supporting characters, and that makes a waste of his character growth.
Well here, I am making a redesign of his background, clothing and personality.
We'll still have him appear in Volume 2, but in the Redux Version. He is still Sun's best friend, but maybe a childhood friend.
In this version, when he was younger, he used to look up to his older brother, Jupiter for his confidence and boldness in hunting down the Grimm (similar to how Weiss would look up to her elder sister, Winter). And wanted to be like him, he was from an aquatic warrior bloodline, which was hidden from him by his father.
He is also the youngest of six siblings. His older brothers: Pluto and Jupiter. And triplet older sisters: Juno, Vesta and Ceres. His parents are Saturn and Lydia Vasilias. His father is a respective and gentleman huntsman, whom Neptune has a loving father-son relationship, and would ask him for advice, and would talk to his father whenever he has problems. And because his mother is a lawyer, he inherit her sense of justice seeing the unfair treatment of faunus, and political corruptions.
For his fear of water, instead of his brother being the cause of his phobia. It should started at his early teens prior for his semblance to be awakened. During his huntsmen training encouraged by Jupiter to go sailing with him to hunt down underwater Grimm (despite their father forbidden them from doing so, out of fear of losing his family). As they did so, Neptune and Jupiter were tipped over by the creature, and Neptune was pulled down, but after Jupiter saved his life, Neptune was left traumatized by the sight of water. As a result, he never got near the water again and moved to Mistral from the town of Argus.
Since then, Neptune kept his fear of water by training overtime. To cover his true insecurities. He once wore casual clothing with reading glasses to be invisible so that no one will know. Jupiter would nagged him of his for not being bold enough to conquer his fear. And would try to push Neptune to swim. Causing him to feel more complex since the assassination of their elder brother, Pluto. Feeling like a failure to his own family, even if his family only love him for who he is. On the other hand, he hates himself for being useless or weak because of his fear.
Enter Sun Wukong. By the time he reaches Sanctum Academy, Neptune was not the type to fight back. Being called a coward and get picked on. Until he met a stowaway faunus who stood for him. That faunus is Sun, and at first, thought he only befriended him because he was sorry for him. Only for Sun to let him know that there is no shame for being afraid because any huntsman would have that, since then, the two became best friends.
Inspired by Sun, Neptune decided to take off the glasses and put on contact lenses. Plus having a 90s futuristic style of a jacket. The goggles are still cool. Sun would be the only one Neptune would confide in, and this would become more like a brotherly bond.
Enter Volume 2. Visiting Beacon Academy with Sun along with Sage Ayana and Scarlet David as Team SSSN from Haven Academy, he would meet with Teams RWBY and JNPR. The three teams will get very acquainted as they have lunch together. Later was a test, Weiss Schnee (heiress of the SDC) was expecting to get a higher grade than anyone else, but to her shock, Neptune gets a 200% of his marks (if that's ever a thing).
Neptune would then tried to befriend Weiss. Only for her to give him a cold shoulder. Reminding him that she would not allow distractions to prevent her to become a huntress and future president of the SDC. Especially not guys like Neptune. Only for Neptune to take a liking to her, sparking a little rivalry.
Sun would warn Neptune that Weiss is the kind of Ice Queen he would not want to mess with. But Neptune responded that Weiss doesn't look like a queen of ice. But rather a Snow Angel. As both Neptune and Weiss competed for the trials, both kept winning and losing.
Then in one of the combat classes, Neptune is impressed for how determined Weiss is. But in the end, he won. Weiss is devastated as she stormed off. After stepping out of the school, Neptune overhears Weiss talking to her sister. Lamenting for how she cannot defeat anyone above her, and now her father would only see her as a failure. This sparked back memories when Neptune thought of himself as a coward. Feeling bad for unknowingly hurting Weiss.
Asking Ren for advise, he told Neptune that he didn't have to try hard to appear fearless, and advised him to be honest to himself and everyone else. Neptune then talks to Weiss, apologizing to her. Plus assuring her that she is amazing in every way, and admits to her that she is beautiful and smart. Making Weiss flustered about it. Plus gifting her a bouquet of white Lillies as consolation to her. Overtime, the two will grow respect for one another.
Volume 3. As Neptune competes in the Vytyl Festival tournament, Neptune asked Weiss out on a date to get to know her a better. Weiss was hesitant at first, but encouraged by Ruby, she agrees. As they went to the carnival for a date, Weiss opens for about her past, and Neptune opens his sincere side of her. It became obvious that both have their complexity since their youths. And they would grow romantic feelings for each other. Neptune would then cheer for Weiss in her round against Team FNKI. Before the Battle of Beacon, Neptune would grow suspicious of Mercury and Emerald since they both claimed that they were both exchanged students from Haven Academy, but the truth was, he has never seen them before. And would tell this to Sun later on. During the battle of Beacon, he would assist Sun and the other young huntsmen and huntresses to defend Beacon. He remained at Weiss'side out of concern for her well-being. Then when Weiss' father, Jacques Schnee arrived to take her back. Neptune notices her hesitation of going back to Atlas. Then things took a turn for the worst when Jacques forcibly took Weiss to the aircraft. Neptune tried to stop him to protect Weiss, but was knock away by Jacques. Leaving Neptune devastated and feeling guilty for letting this happened.
Volume 4. Neptune investigates Jacques's wrongdoing with a mysterious woman Weiss was not familiar with. But it sparked suspicion on her and Jacques. As he teamed up with his cousin, Zeos Vasilias, Neptune realized that Zeos was part of the Black Vipers (a terrorist organization of anti-militia). And that his older brother, Jupiter (who was thought to be dead from the start) was also a member trying to turn Weiss into the White Fang to gain their trust. And that Jupiter hated Weiss' sister, Winter. Neptune warns Weiss about this, and together, the two planned to escape from Atlas. Overtime, they realized how much they love each other despite their differences. To where it came to the point of their first kiss.
@darksaiyangoku
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Book Review
You know how nothing right-wing pundit Ben Shapiro says has any basis in fact, right? Well, there was one time he tried to write fiction on purpose — “tried” being the operative word. Back in 2016, Shapiro wrote True Allegiance, an embarrassing attempt at political intrigue so horrendously written it made My Immortal look like something by Aldous Huxley.
Let’s recap Ben Sha-P-Word’s book and see why he could never get work as a Hollywood writer:
The book opens with a quote calling Shapiro the new Ayn Rand. Not only was the quote from a review of a different Shapiro book, but it’s out of context; the rest of the sentence describes his writing as “hamfisted propaganda” that is “worse than you imagined.”
Our hero, Brett Hawthorne, is a buff, macho, aggressively white US army general who loves his white wife almost as much as he loves his job of killing terrorists. He’s so masculine that he survives a nuke none the worse for wear and says “Take a bullet for you” as a substitute for “I love you.” Other heroes include General Whitey’s token Black friend who dies once the story no longer needs him; Bubba Davis, a Texan oil tycoon running for office so he can get rid of regulations that cut into his profits; Officer O’Sullivan, a cop who kills a Black kid but feels bad about it (by which I mean “he’s afraid Black people will be mad at him,” not “he feels guilty for murdering a child”); and Soledad Ramirez, a cattle rancher who bombs buildings as revenge for the EPA cutting into her business (DIVERSITY WIN! The analogue to Cliven Bundy is a woman of color!)
The main villain, President Mark Prescott, is basically (the right-wing fantasy version of) Barack Obama but White; he’s an evil monster who pals around with terrorists and orders drone strikes on US soil to take out political enemies, but he’s also a feckless, bumbling coward who can’t do anything right. (Remember, the enemy is always too weak and too powerful at the same time!) Also, the narration implicitly compares his administration to Nazi Germany, because the Intellectual Dark Web loves them some projection!
All the Black characters have names like Levon Williams, Jim Crawford, and Kendrick Malone and they talk like 1970s Blaxploitation characters. Crawford is a sleazy huckster posing as a civil rights activist, Levon is a crack dealer who lucks his way into a position as Crawford’s right-hand man before killing him and taking control of his operation, and Kendrick is the 8-year-old Black kid that Officer O’Sullivan kills in cold blood, sparking civil rights protests across the country. Apparently, Levon and Crawford set Kendrick up to be killed and orchestrated the protests as a sinister plot to disempower US police, which apparently absolves Officer O’Sullivan of all blame even though Crawford’s plan only worked because Officer O’Sullivan was willing to murder a child. Also, Levon and Crawford plan to create an all-Black police force, which the novel explains would only be possible if police forces lowered their education standards and started hiring criminals.
Lest you think Black people are the only group Ben is racist against, worry not: Middle-Eastern countries are portrayed as interchangeable hellholes populated entirely by terrorists united in the goal of wiping the USA off the map, and of course their leader is named Mohammed. The terrorists get away with their plans because the coddled American SJWs are too afraid of being called racist to stop them.
And it wouldn’t be a right-wing novel without paranoid conspiracy-mongering; in addition to portraying the US President as being in bed with terrorists, showing BLM activists as child-sacrificing manipulators, and depicting the entire Middle East as a giant terrorist cel, it’s explained that environmentalist activists are being paid off by foreign oil companies in a scheme to make American oil unable to compete on a global scale, and the story ends with China leading Russia, Japan, Canada, and all of Europe in an invasion against the United States.
And just LOOK at this prose! “She felt tears welling in her own eyes.” “He could feel the threat before he felt it.” “Suddenly, O’Sullivan’s head filled with a sudden clarity.”
And of course, Shapiro is such a horrible debater that he repeatedly makes his own side look bad and gives the strawman villains totally valid points completely by accident. As TV Tropes pointed out:
In short, this book should tell you everything you need to know about who Ben Shapiro is and what he believes. The error we’ve committed as a species was believing for a moment that he ever had anything worthwhile to say.
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watched nct dream( )scape countdown live! this is my reaction part 1
so i know now that it's supposed to be read "dream escape" and not "dreamscape." the e has escaped.
i've been waiting for the subtitles for a while. i tend to prefer the youtube subtitles over the live subtitles as the live subtitles tend to be delayed and that distracts me from actually understanding who's saying what
i've never been big on noise music but i admit the dissonant 'noises' that are layered under smoothie are catchy and hype
they're back to their regular seating assignments except chenji are switched
renjun: click like, subscribe, and turn on the notification bell
already in youtuber form
jaemin's just revisiting a lot of old favourites, huh. first was white hair and now he's back to calling everything and everyone sexy.
they all commented on jaemin's white hair
is it just me, or is chenle shy about making extended eye contact with the camera? he kept looking away while introducing himself
already on our chenji bullshit
chenle complimenting jisung's hair. you know...i'm thinking that chenle compliments jisung more nowadays. he still definitely teases jisung a lot but we're in soft chenle era now.
jisung changed his hair five times this comeback??? rip your scalp boy
haechan literally every time. dramatic ass.
they started discussing smoothie right after broken melodies comeback live :o
chenle randomly talking about poison and sos performances. he is the kind of guy to say it aloud when he's proud.
haechan explaining how this comeback was them just pouring content on us. the way he showed it did look like a meme and all the other guys were like "where have i seen that before" and he was like damn i thought i was being original.
their 2024 schedule is packed like tetris TAT
chenle: did we start 30 min earlier because we talk too much
reading comments and of course haechan reading the one that's like "mark show abs please"
production for this album took two years as in 2023 to 2024
jisung made a dumb pun and was like let's move on and haechan is like the hell we will, say it again you coward
jaemin liked it :P
talking about how the speaker voice sounds like chenle again
woo so i wasn't wrong when i said this was definitely a version of the chewing gum concept (the boarding school photos for icantfeelanything)
so the members did a survey/quiz for the writers and that's how they came up with a concept
commotion on the east wing over there because apparently haechan keeps throwing jisung's picture
jaemin hugging bunny stuffy and jisung hugging cat stuffy
dream: meetings are hard
once again bringing up the fact that renjun provided a lot of the ideas for the concept. the concept with the guys looking prim and proper in their uniforms but with beaten up feet.
the guys wanting haechan to talk about something and haechan threatening (renjun) that he'd reveal it.
renjun participated in more meetings a result of being more involved in the concept
jisung's calves were very sore for practising ballet for two days. haechan said that jisung practised ballet ten years ago when he just became a trainee.
mark overexaggerated his surprise that there was a body double for the ballet
chenle: jisung can totally ballet like that in real life though
renjun the one to bring up jeno's muscles
chenle: as soon as jeno's back muscles came up i posted it on every socmed platform
jisung: you seem to enjoy the muscles the most
renjun and jeno practised shooting guns, but jeno said the recoil was just acting. so i guess it was just a prop gun but like, without blanks.
haechan: y'all looked cool from the side and cute from the front (about renjun and jeno shooting)
mark: what did you think about doing your scene in one take?
renjun: i didn't
for real though renjun said he was just focused on getting it right
haechan: the binary system was a numeric system created by a person called binary
it's giving "the triangle instrument was named after joe triangle"
the guys getting mark to say his english line in unknown again
i'm convinced mark just tries to see the romance in everything and i don't blame him, gotta do what you gotta do to get by. basically he turned his and haechan's teaser into a bit of a meet-cute, saying how his character thought it was interesting that haechan's character wasn't copying the binary numbers down and he thought haechan was cute.
jeno: it was very fitting to give haechan the role of the student who didn't pay attention in class
haechan: it's called method acting
they're sitting in a row, so whenever chenle is talking to the group, he turns his whole body from side to side
jeno on jaemin and chenle fencing: it's a fight between two cats
jeno casually leaning his arm across the back of the sofa
jeno: wouldn't the pill have melted in your mouth?
chenle: yes, but it's a movie
jisung is amused
renjun impressed by how chenle was able to make spitting out the pill look cool
jaemle did not practise fencing until they were at the actual site of filming
now they're talking about the smoothie individual teasers
haechan was splashed with coffee when the robber kicked away his table but he remained professional. the guys were impressed (y)
jisung really liked mark's teaser >3 now that i'm watching more dream stuff, it's always fun to see in what ways mark and jisung are on the same wavelength
so renjun plucked the flower to make a ring instead of protecting it
cat stuffy transferred from jisung to haechan
lmao haechan making jisung say the line on the prompter and the guys all clapping and cheering. losers lol.
chenle: jisung's cringe defences are growing weak
markren getting in position to watch jisung do something cute
jaemin yelling at jisung again for not doing kyu on the mouth
more markren with the popcorn (popping that corn, if you will)
jisung did kyu a second time and he still didn't touch his finger to his lip lmfao
the third time he did touch his lip but he didn't make the kyu sound X'D why is this so hardddddd
he finally did it after the fourth time. like pulling teeth i swear.
group kyu
haechan once again standing up for his monologue
on this day, renjun has decided to be benevolent and grace haechan with a response
first song: icantfeelanything
markno protecting renjun's tummy
party over in east wing again
this was jisung's favourite song :3
jisung: we have the opportunity to write lyrics for this song
mark: so what did you do, jisung
jisung: it got rejected
mark explained that it was blind test. so i guess some of the guys wrote lyrics and submitted them without their names
jisung didn't have time to finish his lyrics ^^;;
chenji squabbles again! jisung was saying he used to eat less sweets and now he's eating more. now chenle is saying that jisung actually used to eat a lot of sweets so is jisung saying he's become numb to sweets and is eating more because of it?
jisung @ chenle X3
jaemin: we can never grow numb to nctzens' love
jaemin: gremlin laugh
i wonder if this is his way of being embarrassed/cringed out
second: smoothie
renjun standing up to dance once again. he just feels music with his whole body eh
renjun censoring the dance
they did basically leak the entire dance lol
jisung: can you say this to jeno? things about behind the scenes stories?
haechan: you can ask him yourself
jeno: you can ask me yourself
jisung thought haechan was the mc so that was why he was so awkward about it lol
jeno recorded "smoothie" for around an hour. he was saying how the word smoothie starts to sound like something else ^^;; like when you say a word so often that it loses its meaning.
third song: box
haechan: hey siri
haechan: hey google
haechan: hey bixby
mark: roar
jaemin kept whispering into chenle's ear when chenle was saying the best places to listen to box...they're trying to promote tds3 ^^;;
chenle: i'd like all 7 of us to be in a box together at least once
fourth song: carat cake
haechan's cute head bop during carat cake X3 you can't see it bc it's a screenshot but it was cute
lmao renjun just learned on this day that learned the meaning of carat cake and that it was not carrot cake lmfao
mark: haechan, what have you been tempted by lately?
haechan: you mean seduced?
oh noooo haechan was on a diet so at renjun's birthday party he only ate chicken breast and an apple ToT that is so sad ToT
fifth song: unknown
jisung said that this song sounds a bit like jbiebs :P
jisung (lightly) scold mark for spoiling the dance, but it wasn't shown on camera anyway
mark and jeno worked on lyrics for the rap of this song.
this next part was really cryptic where the guys were discussing new things going on...except none of them really said anything lol
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Transformers: Infiltration #6
Read Date: February 19, 2023
Cover Date: June 2006
● Writer: Simon Furman ● Art: E.J. Su ● Colorist: John Rauch (with Simon Bork, Mark Englert, Aaron Myers, Sunder Raj, and Kevin Senft) ● Letterer: Robbie Robbins ● Editor: Chris Ryall ◦ Dan Taylor ●
**HERE BE SPOILERS: Skip ahead to the fan art/podcast to avoid spoilers
Reactions As I Read:
● heheh, my guess is Starscream is juicing to prep for Megatron's arrival
● that's Astrotrain aaaand…. Runabout. Yay for helpful headshots inside the cover!
● Starscream, you look fabulous, dah-ling
● Ratchet, in beat-up ambulance form, is heading eastbound to The Ark with Jimmy, Verity, and Hunter because Prowl wants them out of harm's way.
● Verity isn't happy about this, but Hunter and Jimmy recognize they are lucky to be alive
● GAH A WHOLE ROW OF CREEPY HOLOMATTER SMILES
● the guy on the far right is Prowl but I'm not familiar enough with the others yet to know their vehicle modes off the top of my head
● ok, the cute little Porsche-looking one, white with a thick blue stripe down the center, is Jazz
● Bumblebee radios to Prowl that Megatron has just arrived at the Oregon bunker
● Starscream is in trouble…
● Runabout, Runamuck, Thundercracker, and Astrotrain come out first. Megatron warns them to stand down, that if they fight, they will die
● they stand down
● juiced-up Starscream comes out, calling them cowards
● Ore-13 is what Starscream is souped-up on
● Megatron is… strong
● aww, Astrotrain, Thundercracker, Runamok, and Runabout are trembling as they watch the battle
● the Autobots arrive and they all agree to just watch the battle
● Starscream is starting to realize his mistake
● oof…
● oh yeah, I forgot The Ark was under Lake Michigan
● some Spcial Ops types witnessed the Autobots jumping into the lake. "The Machination wants one of these 'Transformers.' Let's go get 'em one!"
● Prowl admits Ratchet was right and it's time to call in Optimus Prime
● Hunter points out, though, that he's already here
● "Phase 1 Concluded"
● 👏👏👏👏👏
Synopsis:
In the Decepticon Command Bunker in Oregon, Starscream is on the receiving end of a mega-cycle long "hit" of Ore-13. As they wait, Astrotrain and Runabout worry about what they've just heard regarding Megatron recently arriving on Earth and dispatching both Blitzwing and Skywarp in a fight. But when Starscream finally emerges from the energon chamber, he tells them both that, thanks to the Ore-13, they'll be more than ready to take him on when he comes.
Over in Iowa, Ratchet is busy taking Hunter O'Nion, Jimmy Pink, and Verity Carlo back to Ark-19 after their traumatic scouting mission in the abandoned Nebraska Decepticon Bunker. Verity is angry at not being able to help the Autobots investigate the information they brought back, but Hunter and Jimmy tell her that they are more than happy to stay out of it. Verity eventually relents at their words and gives in to joining the post-traumatic stressing out.
Meanwhile, the other Autobots, who are busy investigating, are speeding their way towards the Oregon Decepticon bunker. Bumblebee is already there, quietly monitoring the area, though nothing is happening… yet. Eventually, though, he sees Megatron bounce in just outside the bunker and call for Starscream.
It is Astrotrain, the Battlechargers, and Thundercracker who come out to greet him first, however. Megatron warns them that if they fight him they will die, and gives them the choice of standing down instead, which they accept. Starscream flies out of the bunker at that point, declares them all "strutless cowards", and lays into Megatron with his now super-powered weaponry.
Bumblebee ends up getting tossed around by the backwash and flung off to the side. Prowl tells him to hang on, as his squad is almost there, but Bumblebee tries to warn them off, saying he thinks they'll be bystanders at best, collateral damage at worst.
Megatron retaliates with his fusion cannon, clipping Starscream's wings and causing him to decide to transform and continue his attack in robot mode. He divebombs straight onto Megatron, throws him into the side of a cliff, and opens fire with everything he's got. Starscream starts crowing about how long he's been wanting to defeat Megatron… then reacts in horror as Megatron emerges from the cliff, very much not as deactivated as he was expecting.
Bumblebee finally gets spotted by the other Decepticons who have been watching the fight, but the other Autobots arrive just in the nick of time to bail him out of an attack. Prowl tells everyone they should all stand down and be content to watch the duel play itself out.
And play out it does, as Megatron berates Starscream for his actions and blows a hole straight through him using his fusion cannon. He tells the gathered Decepticons to take Starscream's remains inside, and answers Runamuck's question about what to do about the Autobots present with two words: "Phase… Two."
Dramatic entrances are the right of all sentient beings.
Sunstreaker asks Prowl if they're just going to let the Decepticons get away with going back into the bunker. Prowl says, "Yep," and Sunstreaker reacts with relief. They all head back to Lake Michigan and down into the water to return to Ark-19… where it turns out that they're being watched by Machination agents, who are ready to enact the plan to kidnap one of the Autobots now that they've confirmed their location.
As they get inside, Prowl states that he thinks it's finally time to contact Optimus Prime… but as he says so, Hunter points to the door: Prime has already arrived!
(https://tfwiki.net/wiki/Infiltration_issue_6)
Fan Art: Megatron vs Starscream by davidnery
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Ever since I watched Your Name Engraved Herein two weeks ago, I have wanted to talk about Jiahan as whole but in particular this scene right here that starts around the 40 minute mark.
CW’s: discussion of religion, internalized homophobia, violent homophobia, choking, and lack of consent. Generally, the same cws as in the movie.
Read more bc it’s uh.. 2.7k
all images are described in alt text
As soon as I watched this scene I just knew it had to be really significant and now rewatching YNEH, I realize that this is a major ideological turning point for Jiahan as a character. From this point on he slowly begins to accept that he’s gay and starts to consciously act on his feelings for Birdy. However, I must first add some context and insights on Jiahan’s prior behavior before I dive into this scene as a whole. At the beginning of the movie, we see that while Jiahan feels different from the rest of his roomates, he still sneaks out with them when they go hook up with girls, despite not showing any interest in the girl he’s with. He feels very different from the rest of his friends, but still goes along with them due to peer pressure. Later, he tries to dissuade them from violently hazing the gay student, Xie Zhenhong, (his name is never said in the film but it says so on his uniform shirt, and that what I’ll refer to him as for the rest of the post) but is reluctantly influenced to gang up on the student as well. He closes his eyes while he’s about to strike the bat down on the student, until Birdy rescues the student-- and Jiahan in a way-- from what is about to play out. After this, his friends accuse him of being in the same stall as Birdy (which he was) but he denies it, not wanting to explain why he was there and the ensuing taunting from his friends.
While its obvious that Jiahan has feelings for Birdy, he isn’t confident enough to pursue them outright. Birdy is the more confident one in both their friendship and in his sexuality, not caring about how anyone perceives him and does what he wants regardless of the consequences. Jiahan is the one worried about societal stigma and goes along with things he doesn’t want to do. However after this encounter with the gay underclassman pictured above, Jiahan become more brave and honest about his feelings towards Birdy. Interestingly enough in the scene directly after this, Birdy begins to conceal his true feelings for Jiahan and pursue a straight relationship with Banban. He doesn’t do this hurt Jiahan, as he does reciprocate Jiahan’s feelings, but to discourage him from coming out and becoming a social pariah for being gay. Birdy himself doesn’t mind being an outcast, but he does not want to see the same thing happen to the one he loves. So instead of letting Jiahan do that, he tries to discourage Jiahan from ever pursuing him by getting a girlfriend and suggest Jiahan does the same. In the same day, both Jiahan and Birdy come to opposite realizations about their feelings for the other, thereby changing their dynamic for the course of the movie. Someone else has picked apart Birdy’s scene in their own post. If you haven’t read that analysis, please go read it, because its really good at explaining Birdy’s character since most of his story isn’t directly revealed to us. We must read inbetween the lines and piece it together, which can be confusing on a first watch.
Anyways, now we can focus on Jiahan. At this point in the movie, Jiahan is trying to understand why he’s upset that Birdy is showing interest in a girl in their band while dealing with his own internalized homophobia and denial over his sexuality. He then turns to the only out gay person he knows -- Xie Zhenhong, who he sees in the cafeteria with new bruises on his face. He looks at Jiahan with a smile. This makes me feel like Zhenhong probably picked up on Jiahan and Birdy’s feelings for each other since last year, when he saw them exit the same stall in the bathroom. Having been the Distinguished Out Person in a group before, I can definitely relate to the way Zhenhong reacts to Jiahan. It the typical “oh honey, you don’t realize it yet, but I know you’re gay” reaction.
Jiahan waits outside the cafeteria and calls out to out him from behind. At first Zhenhong ignores him as we can see that he smirks a bit when he first speaks. He definitely heard Jiahan but doesn’t answer him until he repeats himself a few times. Zhenhong purposely stops when the two are in front of the stained glass window, away from others. Jiahan’s word choice towards Zhenhong is also interesting as he addresses him as “學弟” which is a term for an underclassman. To my understanding, it’s not overly formal nor is it overly familiar, however it is the nicest way that anyone has addressed him all movie. Jiahan than asks him who gave him those bruises, showing concern for his well being. He then reveals why he stopped Zhenhong saying “Actually I want to ask you, when did you start liking boys?” This really seals the deal to Zhenhong that Jiahan is talking to him to try and sort out his own feelings towards Birdy. While his suggestion that Zhenhong perhaps “see a doctor” or “consider getting a girlfriend” read as a microaggression to most viewers, Zhenhong himself can tell that Jiahan is asking him this in good faith. And perhaps, this might be the most understanding anyone has been towards him since Birdy helped him out prior. Before he responds, he looks up at Jiahan and fixes his bangs. This all stumps Jiahan whose eyes dart around, speechless. Zhenhong then circles his arms around Jiahan’s neck, a very intimate gesture, and studies him for a moment. We cannot see Jiahan’s face at this moment but he does shuffle slightly, his body language nervous and confused, but not upset. After looking at him, Zhenhong then goes in closer, assumedly to kiss him. At this point, Jiahan physically stops him and grabs him by the throat. However, Jiahan’s face doesn’t seem to be angry, if anything, his face looks more scared and confused-- akin to a ‘what are you doing?’ moment.
Initially Zhenhong’s choice to kiss Jiahan read very...strangely to me. Why would the screenwriter, as a gay man that grew up in the 80’s, choose to include this? What was there to gain? To me it seemed like it was reinforcing the stereotype of gay men being overly flirtacious and viewed as predators. Why show a nonconsentual attempted kiss at all? I thought about it a lot, both for this scene and the following one with the old man and later between Jiahan and Birdy because it seemed?? Odd to me?? Isn’t that a disservice in representing gay men? I don’t fully have the right answer but I feel like by writing the scene like this, it goes to demonstrate how Jiahan still isn’t fully comfortable with being gay. And also that lgbt people, especially teens, aren’t always going to be good rep. Liu Kuang-hui wasn’t writing the movie to be an perfect, morally uplifting, santized gay narritive. He was writing something that spoke to his real life experience as a gay man in 1980’s Taiwan. In real life, people do questionable things and good narratives are supposed to make you question characters and their actions and judge for yourself whether what they did was right or wrong. The narrative isn’t looking to condemn Xie Zhenhong for doing this. Xie Zhenhong is ultimately a victim of violent homophobia, that will not hide himself or his sexuality despite the violence he faces. He isn’t perfect, nor is Jiahan, nor is Birdy, nor is anyone in the film.
Although now having rewatched this scene upwards of eight times in writing this, it feels like Zhenhong didn’t assume this action to be without consent. Of course, no words were explicitly exchanged about kissing, and I’m not trying to make the case that it’s okay to kiss someone without their consent, that’s harassment. However, Zhenhong did gave Jiahan time to express his discomfort before proceeding. Zhenhong first got close to Jiahan by brushing his bangs, Jiahan did not say anything or look visibly uncomfortable. He then put his arms around Jiahan’s neck, and stared at him for a good ten seconds. At this point, Jiahan had time to say he was uncomfortable. As we know it, consent does indeed entail a verbal, understood yes from both parties. However given the context, I can understand why Zhenhong thought that Jiahan was consenting at that moment. However the moment Jiahan revoked his consent Zhenhong stopped trying to kiss him. Zhenhong shouldn’t have gone in without getting verbal consent, and Jiahan could’ve done something other than grabbing him by the throat. They were both in the wrong. Violence shouldn’t have been the reaction, nor should’ve kissing someone without their verbal consent. The lines were very blurred, and proper communication could’ve resulted in a better interaction but like I mentioned above, I don’t think the writers wanted to portray the scene in that way. The intent was not to say that Zhenhong’s actions were romantic or something to emulate. It was very purposeful in showing to interplay of homophobia, gay desire, and religion.
The scene is set up like a religious confession. Zhenhong purposefully leads Jiahan to the stained glass, a metaphor for his religious guilt. He doesn’t look Zhenhong in the eyes, his voice is hushed, and body language nervous, and troubled-- it communicates to Zhenhong that he thinks he may be gay and wants either reassurance that he isn’t or acceptance that is. Regardless, it’s a very vulnerable and intimate moment. Jiahan is facing him like ‘hey, I know my friends were bullying you and I wanted to save you but was too much of a coward and almost took part in harming you. I’m sorry. I know you saw that me and Birdy were in the same stall together, and that you saw me just telling him not to talk to the girls, and neither of those are heterosexual things to do. Please, help me.’ He’s asking Zhenhong to pass judgement on him, is he gay or not? By virtue of even asking that question, they both know the answer -- Jiahan is in love with Birdy, but whether Jiahan can accept that or not is up to him. In a way, Zhenhong is testing Jiahan to see how honest he can be with himself. By approaching him like that, he’s testing to see whether Jiahan can accept being intimate with a man or not. It’s not a good or ethical test, but it sure is effective. Because in his head, Jiahan is coming to realize that he doesn’t mind a man being close to him in a romantic way. Although, he isn’t fully there yet. He still grabs Zhenhong. But as Zhenhong stares at him despite the hand around his throat, Jiahan really has to think about his actions. Is that what he really wants to do, or is that what he’s been taught to do? It illustrates his internalized homophobia perfectly. Jiahan is literally staring gay desire in the face, rejecting it, while in front of his religion. Zhenhong finally answers Jiahan that “he has always loved boys since he was little, it’s never changed.” Upon hearing that his grip loosens and he pulls away. And the fact that we can hear him well means that Jiahan was never choking him, his hand was there, but not gripping. Zhenhong pulls him in closer and tilts his head, and says “and it never will.” Zhenhong’s words are very deliberate. It’s as if he anticipated this might happen and knew exactly what to say. He wants to carve it in Jiahan’s brain that no one chooses to be gay. They always are and no amount of denial, like the kind Jiahan is showing, will change that. He then finally lets go of Jiahan, who is speechless, he thanks him, and leaves. Jiahan, however, stays there for a second, processing everything that has happened, and breathes heavily before the scene cuts to later that day.
Finally, I would like to examine exactly what Zhenhong’s “thanks” even means. Why would Zhenhong be thanking Jiahan? On the surface, it lookslike Jiahan waited for this guy to finish eating, then asked him invasive questions about his sexuality and suggest he should get help and then almost choked him. This should count as a microagression at best and an attempted hate crime at worst. But, as I just dived into, this wasn’t a bad faith jeer by Jiahan in order to bully Zhenhong, this was a genuine cry for help made by a deeply confused teenager. I feel like the “thanks.” at the end of the scene was perhaps just as puzzling to me as when I thought about why the staff would have that scene play out like that in the first place? I think his thanks is conveying many things. Firstly, thanking him for not actually hurting him and allowing him to have a semi normal interaction with a student of the same gender. As far as we know, many, MANY different students have tried to hurt him in the new semester alone. Hell, we literally do not even know his name as everyone refers to him by the q slur or some other derogatory term, which speaks a lot to how he is treated. He also may be saying thanks for actually asking him about his sexuality. While Jiahan still followed it up with a suggestion he see a doctor, he still genuinely wanted to know why rather fully assume he has something wrong with him. Also, I feel like he might be thanking Jiahan for being brave enough to actually confront his sexualtiy and ask Zhenhong for help in the first place. Zhenhong really seems to be alone as the only gay student at the school but now knowing that Jiahan is realizing thathe’s gay as well, might make him be hopeful that things may slowly begin to change. Sadly, this interaction is the last time we see Xie Zhenhong all film which sucks because I really liked him. And I feel like it would’ve been really nice to see him after the time skip or at least have Jiahan mention him because this moment was one of the things that really made Jiahan start to accept his sexuality. A cut scene with Father Oliver also contributed, but I really wish Xie Zhenhong got more narrative than being the only out student that was then violently bullied. But, I acknowledge that MANY scenes were cut from the film for length so I can’t complain to much.
Oh god, that was a lot to say about a scene that was literally a minute and thirty seconds long. In conclusion!! I just had a lot of things to say about this scene and the scenes surrounding it. I think Jiahan is just a very painfully relatable character for many LGBT viewers and he was incredibly relatable for me which is why I felt the need to spend my day off writing this as opposed to doing homework. This scene is incredibly rich on many levels and I really appreciate YNEH as a whole for not spoonfeeding the viewer information and letting us interpret and question the scenes on our own and come to our own conclusions about the characters and yea. There’s so much going on and a lot of nuance and idk how to properly convey a lot of my thoughts but I tried really hard bc i really do love this movie. I really was puzzled by this scene at first, but now having examined it, it is my favorite scene in the movie. If this scene was changed in any way to make it more palatable, it would’ve been nearly as impactful which was a hard decision to come to, but I stand by it. I don’t know if I feel the same about other scenes but I will be reviewing YNEH as a whole in a different post. I have much more to say but my thoughts on this scene were far too long to not make it a separate post of its own. In essence, YNEH is about growing up and accepting yourself in all ways. Not all of those things are pleasant but if you cannot accept those things about yourself, you’re doomed to be miserable until you can live life unburdened by your own and societies limitations. Goodnight, my fingers hurt.
#i think im like . the only one thats ever refered to that student by name on tumblr dot com.. that ive seen#your name engraved herein#刻在你心底的名字#chang jiahan#long post#🐌.pdf#also i rewrote and reworded this sooo many times to get it to sound the way i want fjvjdjdjs bc this movie has so much to talk abt and word#it right bc like yea.. yk... bc like... yea#its 1am... gn
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Heart of the Night
Pairing: Bucky x reader
Summary: Bucky finds you after a mission that didn’t quite go as planned.
Word Count: 2.8k
Warnings: lil bit angsty
A/N: This is my submission for @wkemeup 9k challenge, it’s not quite as edited as I would have liked but the end of the school year is always super busy so here it is! Congrats Kas, you are such an incredible writer, your talent absolutely blows my mind, it’s just unbelievable and I hope one day to have a tenth of your skill! You deserve everything great and more! <3
The needle trembled, metal glinting off the fluorescent light in your bathroom as it hovered just above the skin of your abdomen. The air reeked of copper. The pristine sink was marred with the dark red streaks of failure. You tried to swallow, but it felt like you were choking on your own throat.
The needle approached the bloody canyon made by a knife you’d been too careless to avoid, and hovered there, trying to find its mark. The world swayed. You’d lost too much blood already. The needle clattered into the sink, black thread trialing behind it like a broken tether. You were somehow conscious — delirious? — enough to think you were lucky it hadn’t gone down the drain because you didn’t have time to call a plumber. Wait no. You’d just have to get a new one from the cabinet. You tried to reach for the needle. Your body didn’t react. Instead, it swayed dangerously, only your fighting instincts keeping you from tumbling to the floor by gripping onto the edge of the sink. At least there were some things blood could wash off from.
“YN!” that familiar voice burst into your apartment, “pool table. Five minutes. I swore to Sam that this was the day we finically beat Vision and his perfect calculations.”
You swore at the joyful ness in his voice. You couldn’t match that tone right now if you tried. But you had to. The mission had gone well. You’d done what you’d set out to do. Only you, the ever-present failure, had gotten yourself stabbed along the way. The only mercy was that no one else had noticed and you’d disappeared to your apartment without drawing suspicion. That was, until now if you couldn’t pull yourself together. You willed your body to close the bathroom door, but it wouldn’t move. If anything, everything only spun even more.
“Where the hell are...”
You felt his presence in your doorway. Felt his gaze like a physical thing. You were always aware of him. Even now was no exception. Maybe if you pretended he wasn’t there, he’d go away. Right. And the three-inch gash in your stomach would stitch itself up. You turned your head, not realizing how many abdominal muscles it took to look over your shoulder. Your pride and the death grip your slick fingers held on the porcelain were the only reasons the spinning didn't send you tumbling to the ground.
When your bathroom came into focus again, the only thing you really saw was Bucky taking up most of the doorway. And he was seething. His normally cool eyes were raging hurricanes, framed between hard lines of frustration on his face. They scanned you from top to bottom with deathly calm, from the sports bar you had on that exposed all your skin and the bruises you garnered during the mission to the sweatpants you’d changed into. An X-ray would have been less intrusive. You shivered. It was probably the blood loss.
You wanted to make up some excuse for your failure, but his anger was justified. You were a liability on the field. They were bound to have figured it out eventually.
He said nothing as he stalked over in a few brisk strides, fury emanating from him in waves. He stopped beside you, the pleasant smell of his freshly showered body chasing away the tang in the air. You closed your eyes. It was a coward’s move, but you’d take any peace you could get before everything you’d worked so hard to keep got taken away from you.
“Sit,” he ordered in a low, almost growly voice, “now.”
You went to sit on the toilet but tipped backward before you could make it. His arms gathered around you, easing you onto the closed seat. Your head lolled back and you squeezed your eyes shut.
“No.” He decided, “I need an explanation. Talk to me.”
It seemed like too much work. All you wanted to do was go to sleep.
“No,” he ordered as if you’d spoken the words aloud. Maybe you had.
You opened your eyes, caught in the crossfire of his icy stare, “Hydra agent during the extraction.”
“Shit,” he muttered.
The extraction of the French Prime Minister had been more than an hour ago. You should have been stitched up a long time ago. You should not have been dripping on the pale bathroom tiles.
“Surface wound,” you continued as professionally as your body would allow, knowing that even though you’d live, your failure was the reason for his fury, “came here. Was in the process of fixing it.”
“We have medics,” he growled, “what were you thinking?”
You didn’t answer. You weren’t about to tell him how your presence was a poison that would likely get them all killed eventually. Or that your constant mistakes were your own consequences to deal with — to fix. He probably knew that all ready. His question had to be rhetorical.
He closed his eyes and took a deep breath as if he were trying to steady his anger. You stared at him, the winter soldier kneeling before you, his calloused hands still resting on your hips. He let out a sigh, his breath warm on your stomach.
“I should call for a medic,” he still hadn’t opened his eyes.
“Please don’t,” you whispered, “I can take care of my own mistakes.”
His lids snapped open, piercing blue eyes pinning you to the spot with their ice cold intensity. He was obviously still pissed. But he didn’t call for a medic. Instead, he got up, warm hands leaving behind nothing more than goosebumps and shivers — from the blood loss, of course— and picked up the needle.
“This is going to hurt,” he murmured once he was kneeling in front of you again.
You tried to nod, but the motion sent your vision spinning again and you gripped onto his shoulder for support, the metal sturdy beneath your grip.
He looked up into your eyes, “are you sure you want me to do this? It’ll leave a scar and it won’t be pretty.”
“It’s only fitting,” you coughed a laugh, “at least the outside will start looking like the inside.”
His brows furrowed but he didn’t say anything. He knew what you were. You were a mutant who somehow got the ‘gift’ of being able to make anything stop functioning. You could make plans fall apart. Kill a software program. Stop a body’s functioning. Even ruin a functioning team like the Avengers. With skill, you should have been one of their greatest assets, ruining everything that threatened the world. But your ‘gift’ extended to yourself as well. You ruined everything you touched. Even the good. Especially, it always seemed, the good.
He pierced your skin without warning, but you were glad for the pain. It gave you something else to focus on than the echoing thoughts of your failure. But Bucky was gentle. Despite the anger you knew must still be there, his movements were delicate and focused, hesitating whenever you winced or sucked in a breath.
By the time he tied the knot, you were surprised you were still upright. He might have been efficient, but you couldn’t tell if it had taken seconds, minutes or even hours. His hands cupped your face and eyes you hadn’t realized you’d closed fluttered open. He was so close now, his expression pinched with worry. You couldn’t help but wonder how it could be for you.
“I’m almost done,” he said softly, “but you’ll probably need a transfusion.”
Adrenaline kicked in. You couldn’t. He couldn’t. Not when you could barely keep your eyes open.
“Please don’t take me there,” you begged, “I can’t hurt anyone else.”
Your abilities rarely activated while you were asleep, but you wouldn’t risk the lives of the other patients or the doctors by going down to the medical wing. Years ago, when you’d realized what your abilities were, you’d stopped sleeping anywhere near anyone else. Now, hurt, there was an even greater chance you might lose control.
If you hadn’t been working so hard for consciousness, you would have also told Bucky to leave. But it wouldn’t have mattered. For some reason, he always stayed. Even when he was within the radius of your power. Even when you told him to go. Especially then. He always stayed.
“I won’t hurt anyone else,” you choked out, “I always hurt someone else.”
His thumb brushed across your cheek, “and yet you saved me today.”
You looked away from his burning gaze, your tears threatening to spill.
He continued, mercifully ignoring your watery eyes, “even though you were hurt you dropped that Hydra agent before he could shoot me in the back. We didn’t lose a single agent today, YN. That’s because you were there.”
“No,” you tried to shake your head, but his hands held on tightly, “they — you — saved yourselves. I got stabbed.”
“You got stabbed because you were busy watching everyone else’s back,” he growled, that earlier anger returning.
“I ruin things,” you repeated for what felt like the millionth time.
But it didn’t matter. He never seemed to believe you. But he needed to. You desperately needed him to before you ruined him too.
“Please leave,” you whimpered.
His answer was simple, “No.”
He took his hands back, but it was only to find some gauze to place over your cut. Once he was done, he scooped you up so gently the movement only hurt a lot instead of blinding pain and brought you to bed.
You gripped his shirt, fist balling up at the hem with all the strength you had left, “you need to leave, Bucky. Now.”
For some reason, the bastard smirked, “Someone has to make sure you don’t die in your sleep.”
“I’ll be fine,” you snapped, though it lacked any kind of force.
He didn’t look impressed, “If you were fine you wouldn’t be begging me to leave. You’d be downstairs with me and we’d be getting our asses handed to us by Vision and Sam like every other Thursday night.”
You wanted to protest. You wanted to protect him, but you had no fight left in you. And with the plush mattress calling you to sleep, the world went dark before you could figure out a way to get him to leave.
“All right Destructo, show me what you’ve got.”
You weren’t a fan of the nickname, but you weren’t about to tell the Tony Stark to shut up and use your real name. And anyways, as much as you hated using your abilities, and how you were always overcome by the tidal wave of fear that sent fear rolling like waves throughout your body, you always felt better — healthier even — after using them. And he was giving you free range now.
Eight suits surrounded you in a perfect octagon, hands out like they were ready to strike. Tony had somehow altered his suits so that they’d shoot bubbles — of all things — instead of small blasts and said you’d only be alive if you managed to take them all down before a single bubble came out.
A small grin unwittingly made its way onto your face.
“Glad to see you’re having fun,” Tony remarked, “it’ll come in handy for future testing. Ready?”
You nodded and ignored the bit about future testing. They might have thought they wanted you now but after they saw how much of a curse you really were, they weren’t going to keep you around long enough for future testing. You prayed that day wasn’t any time soon.
But you were ready now. That was until Tony’s voice crackled through the intercoms once more, “just make sure you don’t kill anyone of us in the process. I’d hate to miss Taco Tuesday.
You lifted your chin, “Give me thirty seconds with the enemies and you’ll have your taco.”
“Such confidence,” he remarked with a chuckle.
It was false bravado but you wanted this. You wanted out of your hell hole. So you weren’t about to let him see any of the very real fear that you actually might kill him. in the process.
You let out your power in a giant blast.
You bolted upright, gasping for breath. Black spots clouded your vision but you forced through the waves of dizziness, looking for the one person you couldn’t bear to hurt. He was supposed to have left. Your next breath never came. Bucky’s long limbs spilled over the edges of the chair in the opposite corner of the room, his phone resting on his chest. His eyes were closed, a peaceful look on his face but that didn’t mean anything. The dead often looked at peace.
Then his phone rose and fell with his chest. You held back a sob. Your relief would have sent you tumbling if you hadn’t been sitting. He was alive.
Without your blinding panic, the rest of your room came into focus. He’d left all the clothes you’d strewn over the chair in a neat, folded pile on your dresser. You glanced over at your alarm clock for the time, which was…off. Your dread clenched it’s fist around your stomach. It had been on. So had your air conditioning unit. And where was the constant hum of your ancient refrigerator?
“They’re all fried,” Bucky’s gruff voice came through the silence as if he’d actually been sleeping, “the phone gave a nice little shock when it died. Snapped me out of my sleep that’s for sure.”
Your heart was still trying to hammer its way out of your chest when you said, “You could have gotten hurt. I don’t know how you’re not.”
“I do,” he replied simply, eyes finding yours.
“No, you don’t,.” you shook your head more than you had to, “No, you can’t.”
“I can because I’ve trained with you almost every day since you got here. I know that your gift,” you scoffed at the word but he kept going, “your gift works differently depending on who and what you’re targeting. And I know you don’t target people. Not unless you have to and even then I see that it kills you to do it.”
You looked down at your sheets, hating the way his words resonated through your body, refusing to go away. But you could still ignore it.
“That might be true, but Tony has been making his suits to withstand me. In case I can’t control my powers and they hurt anyone on our side. He might say it’s in case we meet another mutant with powers like mine, but we all know that’s not true.”
“Why can’t it be both?” he huffed then took in a slow breath. It did nothing to hide the growl in his voice when he asked, “None of us are perfect, why do you have to be?”
Because, even as a full grown adult, you were afraid you’d somehow end up back in that orphanage, unloved and unwanted because all you did was ruin things. And you didn’t know what you’d do if you ruined the closest thing you’d ever had to family. Perfect kept you here. Perfect kept you safe.
He stood from the chair, and came to kneel beside your bed. He brushed aside the hair that had stuck to your forehead with sweat, calloused fingers resting gently on your cheek when he was done.
“You’re one of us now” he whispered as if he could read your mind, “and I — we — won’t let you go that easily not matter what you think of your abilities. Even if that means I have to inspect you for cuts and bruises myself after every mission. You are good, YN.”
You could only nod, taken aback by the ferocity in his voice. Still, it didn’t stop you from looking him over head to toe once more just to make sure he was okay. Then you noticed something off with him.
“Where’s your arm?”
He ran his hand through his hair, a sheepish look on his face, “it might have fallen off a few seconds before you woke up.”
Your heart dropped into your stomach, “I hurt you.”
He shook his head fiercely, “you didn’t. I’m fine.”
“But I could have,” you protested.
“But you didn’t,” he said, “you never do. Because despite what you might think, you control this thing inside you and we all trust you with it.”
You were about to object but he stopped you by pressing a light kiss to your forehead, and when he pulled back there was that lopsided little grin on his face that made you realize how light headed you were feeling, “one day we’ll get to a place where you’ll find this funny. I promise.”
And somehow, you believed him.
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Home for Christmas
This is my first entry for the wonderful @navybrat817, @stargazingfangirl18, and @donutloverxo’s Happy Hoelidays Challenge!
Pairing: Chubby!Bucky x Black!Reader (Fem)
Summary: You got screwed this holiday season. Thankfully, someone decided to give you a break.
Rating: 18+/Explicit
Word Count: 2,211
Warning: Unprotected Smut (wrap it before you tap it!), Oral (f and m receiving), Fluff, Angst, Talks of Anxiety
A/N: Not gonna lie, I feel a little intimidated by all of the amazing writers participating. So let me throw my hat into the ring, so to speak. Dividers are by the lovely @firefly-graphics. Check them out!
Back to Masterlist
“You have until the end of the month.”
“Okay, thanks.” You could barely keep your voice together you were so distraught.
You lost your job and your apartment all in the same week. You had used up most of your savings paying your grandmother’s medical bills. Your anxiety had gone through the roof since you got the pink slip yesterday. Now, six weeks till Christmas, you have to ask (beg) your friends if you can couch surf until you can get back on your feet.
You told your therapist that your anxiety had spiked to uncomfortable levels. You could barely sleep at night and you’ve had trouble concentrating on simple tasks. It felt like the world was closing in and you were helpless to stop it.
You hoped that something would give.
Bucky was coming back from an outing with Sam when he spotted you fumbling with your keys with tears streaming down your face.
“Hey, what’s wrong?”
Startled, you swiveled your head, “Oh Bucky! How are you?”
“I’m fine. So, do you want to talk?”
Your lower lip quivered and the dam broke,” I lost my job yesterday, all my savings went to my aunt’s medical bills, and my landlord said I have to leave at end of the month!” you sobbed as Bucky pulled you in for a hug.
“Shh, it’s okay.” Bucky cooed as he rubbed circles onto your back.
“It’s not, but thanks.” you choked out trying to compose yourself.
It would seem that fate thought it right to mock him today. Brock got another compliment for his work and the love of his life was about to be on the streets.
Though Bucky shouldn’t be surprised that you knew next to nothing about his feelings with him being too cowardly to tell you. They first came ten months ago at a get-together Sam roped him into attending. He was enraptured by your kindness and sharp wit, plus it didn’t hurt that you were breathtakingly beautiful and your cookies were heavenly. The two of you quickly became friends going to movies, museums, and adult arcades. You were exceedingly kind and understanding even when Bucky showed you his prosthetic arm.
He wanted to go further, but he didn’t want to ruin his friendship with you.
Though, maybe…
“I was wondering, would you like to stay at my apartment ‘til you get back on your feet? It has three bedrooms and two bathrooms so you won’t be ‘invading or unwelcome’. I know you’re thinking about it.”
“But what about the re-”
“No. It’s fine. You said it yourself. You need to rest and regroup.” He was going to be fine, he was the CTO of SHIELD Inc. Both Steve and Sam have stated that he should move to a condo or a penthouse, but he’s glad that he never listened.
You nodded your head and sighed,” Okay.”
Bucky grinned, “Good. Though it’s not for free. Your payment will be in your ‘out of this world’ cooking.”
You giggled, “It’s a deal!”
You moved in three days later. It was delightful to not have the threat of financial instability peering over your shoulder.
It didn’t take long for you to settle into a routine. You woke up around 7 AM, did some exercises and meditation, made breakfast, had a nice conversation w/Bucky, did some job searching, researched different recipes to try out, baked some desserts for Bucky to share with his team, cook dinner, had a nice chat w/Bucky over dinner and wine, and Bucky would do clean up with a movie.
Both Bucky and your therapist noticed your dramatic increase in your mental and emotional health.
Your aunt noticed how serene you looked when finally had the chance to visit her. She also teased you about Bucky and how cute the two of you would look.
You deflected your aunt in good jest, but she was not wrong. You had started to see Bucky in a new light. He was devastatingly handsome, sexy even. He was tall (6’3” / 1.9m), broad shoulders and muscular arms that you always loved to be enveloped in, eyes like the Mediterranean after a storm, luxurious dark Chestnut brown that was delightful to the touch, and a soft, protruding belly that was perfect for cuddling (though Bucky was insecure about it though). He was your own giant teddy bear who you would love to love (and fuck).
Maybe the two of you could be something more.
“You have to tell her, Buck.”
Bucky groaned internally at yet another one of Steve’s interventions. He hasn’t been able to focus at work since you’ve moved in with him. Sam was constantly calling him out on it, and now Steve has weighed in on the issue.
“C’mon, you need to let her know how you feel. Otherwise, you’re taking advantage of her spectacular cooking and baking skills.” Sam exclaimed while biting into a Levain Style Toffee Crunch Cookie.
Bucky knew that he should say something. He was planning on telling you on Christmas Eve about the gift he bought you last week.
Now, all he needed was courage.
“She probably feels the same way, Bucky. There’s no way she would’ve stayed with you this long if she didn’t like you.” Sam added while going for his third Salted Caramel Brownie.
“I know. It’s just that she deserves someone better.”
Steve scoffed, “For fuck’s sake, man! You are smart, caring, and funny! Stop feeling sorry for yourself. You have a lot to offer!”
Bucky gave Steve a smile, “Thanks, Stevie.”
“Sure. Now move over, I want some of those brownies.”
Christmas Eve dinner was going well.
You were able to visit your aunt two days prior to which she teased you about Bucky yet again. You didn’t dare to bring up the sex dreams and times you masturbated in the shower wishing it was Bucky giving you such sensations.
You were biting into your teriyaki-glazed salmon when Bucky cleared his throat, “What’s wrong?” you asked.
“I’ve been such a coward,” Bucky uttered.
You put down your utensils, “Bucky-”
“No. I-I love you.”
What?
“I’ve loved you since that get together ten months ago,” You smiled at the memory,” I saw this kind, funny, beautiful woman who was amazing and was willing to put up with a loser like me. I know that I’m not in your league-”
You stood up,” Bucky, you’re not a coward and you’re not a loser. You have been nothing but kind and understanding this last few weeks. You let me stay with you when I was barely hanging on financially. You’ve respected my space without expecting anything in return. I know I’m not the best roommate, but-”
You were cut off by Bucky enveloping you in a tight hug, “Thank you,” he breathed.
Glancing up at him, you whispered, “I love you too.”
Bucky gathered his courage and captured your lips in a searing kiss. The kiss sent a bolt of electricity throughout your body. After a few moments, you pulled away and licked your lips in excitement.
“May I kiss you again?”
“Please.”
The two of you were a tangled mess of limbs once you reached his bedroom. Bucky ripped off your top and chuckled at your attempt to cover yourself,” You have nothing to be ashamed of, sweetheart.”
You backed onto the bed with a grin, unable to hide your giddiness as Bucky’s eyes darkened with lust and the look on his face was not unlike that of an apex predator.
Bucky took things slow, wanting to savor this moment. He worked you from top to bottom at an agonizingly slow pace. Soft, open-mouthed kisses marked his path smirking in pride at the sound of your moaning and squirming with each caress.
“Bucky please,” you begged as Bucky made his way to your chest.
Bucky tutted in response, “Let me adore you, love,” as he covered your breasts with hickeys, pinching and sucking your nipples, relishing the sounds of your moaning and mewling. He smirked at your praises as he made his way to your stomach.
He made sure to give your midsection extra love and care, “Utter perfection,” Bucky murmured as he kissed a stretch mark near your hipbone. Your heart soared at the declaration. You’ve never had a partner who complimented you let alone give you the time of day let alone a partner who actually put your needs first.
And in such a delicious manner.
Bucky was about to go in on your thighs when you stopped him,” Please, let me,” you panted as you got off the bed and undid his belt. You bit your lower lip once you got back his boxers.
He was a lot bigger than you thought.
“You sure about this, doll?” Bucky asked amusedly taking in your raised eyebrows and a sly grin.
Nodding eagerly, you laid your head in his awaiting lap and gave his dick an open-mouthed kiss followed by a long, slow lick to his weeping tip.
You were careful not to go too deep, not wanting a repeat of that one Spring Break. “Fuck, doll,” Bucky praised as you worked his dick like a lollipop. You alternated between playing with his balls and sucking on what you could fit in your mouth.
Bucky bellowed when you lightly scraped him with your teeth. He never thought that someone like you would give him the time of day. Ever since Bucky left the Army, it seemed that no one would even look at him, even before they knew about the prosthetic left arm. He was about to give up all hope of finding anyone who accepts him when you came into his life. You were his light, but you were not afraid to be imperfect. He could be vulnerable with you in a way that he has never been with anyone, even Stevie.
You continued your ministrations for a couple more minutes until Bucky gently tugged your hair, “Sorry doll, I won’t make it if keep workin’ me like this, and I want to give you my first gift this evening.”
You pouted but relented as Bucky motioned you back to the bed. You parted your legs and moaned when Bucky gave your slit a long, slow lick after kissing and nipping your inner thighs.
“Better than any baked good. Fuck! I could get addicted to this!” You giggled at the statement loving the praise.
Bucky attacked your folds with a masterfully executed battle plan. He switched between licking and sucking your clit with insane precision, scissoring your folds with his thick fingers (sometimes metal ones), and playing with your juices.
You were on Cloud Nine. Each of his movements sent wave after wave of euphoria throughout your body. Bucky’s tongue and fingers made your hair stand on end and bolts of electricity shot through your veins and danced along your skin. You grabbed a fistful of his luxurious hair and arched your back towards him.
“Come for me, sweetheart,” Bucky rumbled.
The dam broke.
“Bucky!” you shouted as Bucky lapped up your juices and crawled up to caress your face.
“You sure you want this, doll?” Bucky asked.
“Please Bucky,” You begged as he pushed himself into you inch by inch pausing once he filled you.
“So fucking tight!” Bucky breathed huskily.
“Bucky. I. Need. You.” You murmured between kisses to his neck and jaw. He started out at a slow pace, making sure you were used to his size but he intensified his thrusts once you began moaning in pleasure and begged him to go harder.
Each thrust hit you just right, sending you higher and higher, but Bucky made sure not to send you over the edge (not yet). He decided to add to your sweet, sweet torture by kissing your neck, shoulders, and collarbone. You didn’t know how much you could take, but at the same time, you didn’t want to end.
Thankfully, Bucky heard your mental pleas. He worked your clit and you came with another shout as he nipped the juncture between your neck and collarbone. Bucky came soon after with a primal roar.
Laying on Bucky’s bed and looking out the window, you saw a thick yet gentle snowfall. You were about to make a nice (if not a little snarky) Christmas remark when you felt a weight on your chest. Casting your eyes downward you found a silver snowflake on a thick silver chain with sapphires in the middle and on each of its six points. It was beautiful.
You nearly swiveled your head in shock. “Bucky you di-”
Bucky caressed your cheek and kissed you, “You’ve been so kind to me since we’ve met and I wanted to give you something as wonderful as you.”
“Well, since you put that way. I guess you’ll have to wait until tomorrow for your present.” you teased.
Bucky snaked his right arm around your midsection, “It might not be ‘til Noon at best. I’m gonna need another round.” he crooned as he kissed your neck.
Part of you wondered what the hell all those people were thinking when they didn’t give Bucky a second glance. Well, it matters not. Bucky was yours and you would be damned before you let him go.
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HSMTMTS 2x06 Review
Yes, And was a messy ep that brings us to the halfway point of the season. Let’s dig in!
Tonight took some big steps towards the Rini breakup. The conflict isn’t quite earned as they did too much too quickly in making Ricky overbearing; to go from Ricky supporting Nini going to YAC and them singing love songs to each other just 3 eps ago to Ricky now accusing Nini of changing because she didn’t get pineapple on her pizza just doesn’t work. Largely that’s because it’s clear that the writers are working backwards from an outline that requires Rini to be broken up before the finale.
The Rose song is great and Olivia’s vocals are wonderful as always but again it’s not quite earned. The lyrics make it seem like Nini thinks Ricky is holding her on a pedestal and holding her back when that’s not what we’ve seen on screen. Ricky and Nini went through a lot as they were finding their way back to each other and they learned not to see each other through rose coloured glasses and while Ricky was sad that Nini went to YAC he was supportive and respected her wishes, notably the only time he admitted how much he wanted Nini to come back to Salt Lake was after Nini had already made up her mind to return.
Rini was always going to break up both because writers struggle with writing happy or stable couples and because Tim became enamoured of Rina after writing 1x05 and will want to explore them at some point. Tim’s claimed that he has future seasons all planned out but I’m skeptical that he’s really thought out how to keep Ricky and Nini and Gina on goodish terms with each other for the remaining 2 seasons of the show while also not completely closing the door on the Rini endgame the show’s been aiming towards since the pilot.
It’s clear that Ricky has unresolved issues from his mom effectively abandoning him which are impairing all his relationships. And while it’s true he could try calling Lynne it’s the parents job to reach out and she is obviously fine living her life without Ricky. Not sure how much closure we can get with Lynne when she comes back in 2x09 but I hope we at least get an apology on her part.
Yet another ep of Gina going through it. That flashback to Gina tearfully telling Ricky that she wouldn’t have ‘’given up on us’’ if she hadn’t moved certainly paints Ricky’s behaviour this season in a worse light. I do hope the show doesn’t take the cowards way out and have Ricky being too stupid to realize that Gina had romantic feelings for him. Though again we run into the problem that these emotions aren’t fitting the story. There really wasn’t an ‘us’ for Gina to fight for, she and Ricky had only been hanging from 1x05-1x08 and never actually dated or went on dates. Also by this point Gina should be questioning her feelings for Ricky and whether he’s worth it; it’s not like he’s done anything nice for her this season like getting her chocolates for Valentine’s Day.
Still Gina did make some strides tonight. She finally opened up to Ashlyn which seems to have lifted a weight off of her shoulders and makes the decision to stay in Salt Lake. She also brushes off Ricky wanting to be improv partners which leads to her accepting EJ’s offer which led to a sweet callback to them being wonderstudies. I’m glad she’s not going to Louisiana but it does mean we were robbed of a HSMTMTS/Secrets of Sulphur Springs crossover.
Kourtney and Howie are finally together. I’m glad they didn’t waste time dragging this out. Kourtney’s confession was very in character and I liked the earlier hufflepuff dragging. As an aside I wonder if say 10 years in the future, shows will still be making light hearted unqualified references to Harry Potter or will J.K. Terfling have completely destroyed the goodwill the series has by then.
Lily continues to act as if she’s in Glee working for Sue Sylvester to take down the One Directions and honestly I’m here for it. I especially liked that she stole some of the condiments on her way out of Salt Lake Slices. Antoine seems alright, the espionage bit was funny. Seems like Salt Lake City would be a pretty shitty place for a French student to study.
EJ remains underused especially since this is his last semester as a student. His Gaston answer was surprisingly thoughtful and hinted at him getting over Nini with Gina as he sat down next to her. His may I have this exercise was just the right amount of smooth and goofy.
Ashlyn had a good ep, she killed Home, Julia has a great voice. And she stood her ground with Gina but was also there for her and managed to help her decide to stay. Loved her line that she was still part Caswell.
Mike Bowen is sweet, thoughtful, and rocking that beard? Must have been hard for Miss. Jenn to let him go but ultimately she made the right decision as it would just be too messy to date the parent of one of your students.
Lots of funny little moments this ep; the camera panning to the exit sign during Gina’s confessional, the group chat with Miss. Jenn and the real group chat without her, Seb hula-hooping with wild abandon.
Looking Ahead:
Well we’re now at the official halfway mark of the season. It’s been an uneven first half, lots of pacing issues, and clear signs of the covid pandemic impacting production. Disney + has announced that future seasons of Disney + originals will be released on Wednesdays from now on so we have that to look forward to for S3 and S4.
Carlos uploading the Rose song will inevitably lead to disaster. Nini is very right to tell Kourtney not to let Ricky know, the lyrics paint him in a very bad light. The song gives us more context for why Lily said to Ricky that his gf needed some space in the trailer. I suspect Lily will end up being the party crasher that Ricky re-evaluates in 2x12, I don’t think Tim is going to keep Lily as a one dimensional antagonist this entire season.
Ricky said in 2x01 that he’s never breaking up with Nini again and I think that’s true because Nini will break up with him. I think it comes before 2x12, maybe them exploring an old haunt in 2x08 is where it happens though the description for 2x11 also sounds like it could be hinting at a Rini breakup.
Well we now know what one of the secrets rising between Gina and Nini will be in 2x10, Nini was already jealous of Gina and Ricky in S1 and I doubt she’ll enjoy hearing that Gina confessed to Ricky in 1x10. Since Gina has already confessed to Ricky it makes it less likely that her speaking her truth in 2x12 is related to her and Ricky.
EJ and Gina doing the morning announcements starts next ep, that should be fun. Especially since Mazzara is aware of EJ’s feelings for Gina. There’s a pretty clear path to end the season with Portwell or at least set it up for S3. EJ already likes Gina, the announcements help bring them closer, Gina starts getting over Ricky and realizes that EJ puts her first, maybe Mazzara helps one or both of them at the cast party, and Gina shares her truth and confesses to EJ. So far the show hasn’t done anything it can’t pull back from but sooner or later the writing will have to commit one way or the other. One thing I’ll say is that it’s already clear that making EJ a senior was a big mistake and I expect it to cause a lot more problems for the show in the remaining two seasons.
There’s also a path for Ricky and Gina to get together but that seems less likely given the clear mess Ricky is right now. Seeing his mom in 2x09 probably helps a bit but it’s hard to see how any relationship Ricky gets into won’t swiftly crash and burn. There’s also the matter of when exactly Rini break up, if it’s too late in the season then there wouldn’t be time to jump right into Rina. There’s also the matter of the unexpected facetime call he gets in 2x10 and the party crasher he re-evaluates in 2x12. Even if they’re not linked it does suggest there will be some curveballs in Ricky’s story and at least the party crasher info suggests there’s some non Rini or Rina related twist being planned for Ricky in 2x12.
Until next week Wildcats
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How would you rewrite Muriel’s route?
This is the 3rd question I got with similar vibes so imma begin by saying that I am not a writer. I am a reader, a decent one, but I’m not the idea guy. I will try, though, since it seems like people are interested for some reason.
First of all I'd make some baseline changes to set the backstory proper;
Muriel chose the mantle of Lucio's executioner willingly, him and Asra had no other means to survive so they willingly worked as indentured servants under Lucio. He reasoned with himself thinking these are bad people and that he has no other skills to offer. (There might be a threat on Lucio's part that they can be replaced, he doesn't have to had given a villain speech for the implication. He is a rich tyrant and they are street kids, it the service they provide isn't up to par Lucio can easily look for alternative options.) Let me be clear, Muriel was not a gladiator. Gladiators are compensated generously for the entertainment they provide and often due to the amount of investment made on them, fighting to death wasn't a common occurrence. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that Muriel, or rather the Scourge was well known and probably liked by the crowd, there's literally no reason for Lucio to utilize him otherwise. He wants people to enjoy the show, if everybody hated Muriel what use is he to Lucio?
Kokhuri are alive. The tribe had to relocate but they left Khamgalai to tend to the graves. They are nomadic and matriarchal people who likely don't adhere to mother-father-child kind of European family structure. The children are raised communally.
Muriel's curse has nothing to do with myrrh, there's a rune that can counter it and only he knows how to make it, he figured it out by himself for Asra. Any magic that can nullify a spell by Major Arcana is no doubt strong as fuck.
I'd start similar to main 3, MC is tasked to find Lucio's murderer. They find Muriel's brush or loincloth or whatever early on which leads them to the forest but because of the protective spells and the curse they get lost. They ran into Muriel or Inanna and she leads them to Muriel hunched over the corpse. They try to help, like the canon, and have a brush with Lucio's goat ghost. They tell him they were looking for the Scourge and Muriel says there's no Scourge here.
The day after they forget about Muriel but remember the rest and relay that information to Asra, who gets agitated by Lucio's return. He thinks Lucio is here for MC's body but doesn't explain anything, instead begs them to leave town until he figures something out.
They go to see Muriel and he reluctantly agrees to accompany them to the outskirts of the forest, on Asra's request.
Some point on their road trip Asra water-calls them to inform them that Lucio is looking for hearts and the Magician (or whoever else Asra consulted) implied they might find answers South. MC still doesn't know anything except maybe some comments Muriel could have made that painted Lucio in a bad light but they decide to investigate regardless. Muriel opposes, eventually caves (either thanks to MC or Asra). He lets out that he's been tailing MC on Asra's behalf for years so it shouldn't be that much different.
They go from town to town, MC helps Muriel ease into dealing with people again and it's easier since nobody knows jack about Scourge. They learn that he enjoys card games and collecting trinkets from different cultures. He might even get a little too enthusiastic about plants and gives random advice to a gardener.
We might learn here that Muriel doesn't like feeling that he's on a display or that he's performing. He prefers to lay low and blend in, not necessarily completely shut off the world.
They run into Morga(maybe they encounter raiders or a barfight or something alike), who's also been tracking Lucio. She proposes to work together. She berates Muriel for being a coward and convinces him to fight as that's all he's good for. (I think it's better if MC trains on magic rather than archery, I'm seeing alot of disabled MCs.)
She tries to train them but Muriel doesn't respond well to fighting and eventually Morga leaves. Valdemar or Vulgora catches them, Lucio's still trying to get MC's body. They escape just barely, MC gets hurt, Muriel beats himself up over it, some angst some fluff, you know the drill. Maybe he has a panic attack because panic attacks are usually not as on the nose as "Oh No I Gotta Fight Someone With a Knife". Looking for a shelter and aid, they find a cottage which turns out to be Khamgalai's. She helps them out, teaches Muriel how to heal using the techniques of their clan, I assume MC helps since they know some restorative spells too. She tells Muriel his family sent him away when they got ambushed so he wouldn't have to live on the run as Morga's clan was on a war path to conquer South. We get sad, lots of tears. Kisses might ensue.
Somehow it's revealed that this is the answer they were looking for and not Lucio (because I think the whole "Lucio's clan" plot was redundant) and Morga was just using them as bait to get Lucio out of Vesuvia.
Morga catches on to them, we learn who she is, Muriel and MC confront her but Khamgalai says her warmongering already costed her everything. She says she's trying to make up for it by killing her son and she needs MC to lure him out, they agree to work together, begrudgingly. (MC's past can be revealed here since they need to learn what's the deal with Lucio's obsession of them at some point)
Around this point MC might realize the mark's fading, Muriel brushes it off.
Instead of Lucio, Devil comes and tells them about Lucio's plan to do the ritual again. They go back to Vesuvia to warn people
Masquerade happens, people remember Muriel, Nadia or MC or someone give people an ultimatum. But oh no it was a TRAP all along, Devil told them of the ritual to get them right where he wanted. Lucio gets in MC's body, Asra sends them to the Arcana realm, same story as main 3.
MC forgets Muriel on the Arcana realm but through the power of love and maybe some guidance from the Hermit they go "oh no i forgot my boy". They return to find him in the Coliseum. What?! He was the Scourge?! Who could've thought. (this reveal wouldn't affect MC's opinion at this point since they already know he's a cinnamon roll)
This time Lucio's blackmailing him with MC's body. He says he needs hearts to make himself a new one and if Muriel grabs some for him MC can get their body back.
Story diverges to Upright/Reversed
Upright, if MC encouraged him to take it easy, but take it: MC snatches the body of someone he's suppose to fight to change his mind, he decides not to do it and instead go with defeating Lucio on the Arcana realm plan(curtesy of their friends). So here we can have a romantic scene like in Nadia's route where his chains are broken in the Arena.
They fuck around in the Arcana realm facing their fears and stuff, they bond, defeat Lucio, petrify the Devil etc. I like to think Muriel finds the forest spirit here, too, and maybe manages to heal it or learns that it's damaged but with enough time and care it will regrow. (a metaphor? in my arcana game? its more likely than you think)
Morga is charged for war crimes by the Kokhuri, the Coliseum is demolished and the love birds travel around doing their thing.
Reversed, if MC encouraged him to be strong and uncaring: MC fails to convince him and he decides to go through with Lucio's plan. He kills Morga and some more important spirits and fucks up the world. Which turns out to be a bogus plan anyways, Lucio only needed the hearts to settle his deal and Muriel kills him, too (I am untethered, and my rage knows no bounds!)
Without a body MC is stuck in the other realm so Muriel and them retreat to the magic dimension, defeat the Devil and live the rest of their days.
There might also be a 50 first dates situation going on inwhich they get stuck in a loop where MC constantly meets and falls in love with Muriel only to forget him in a couple of (magic realm)days.
idk man this aint my job im just spitballing here, im writing this long ass thing so ill look like im working
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Little Things
Draco X Reader
Request: @deanwswinchester79 But I thought of an idea that maybe the readers parents never write to her while she’s at Hogwarts, Draco notices and eventually gets her a simple gift so she doesn’t feel so lonely. She doesn’t react quite so well but over time it started to become a little tradition of theirs because they’ve come to like each other.
A/n: Thank you for such a wonderful request!! Sorry this took so long, I had most of it written with no idea how to end it, but I figured that out! think I’m gonna make the reader a Slytherin just for the proximity and convenience. Let me know what y’all think as always~ (Also it seems that my posts haven’t been circulating in the explore page... so more than ever, please if y’all love my work reblog it. Tumblr sucks and I’d hate to have to leave...)
Being pure bloods and Slytherin, it’s not uncommon that you and Draco are near each other a lot, even before Hogwarts.
Unlike his own parents who would give him anything at the mere mention, your parents never batted an eyelash at you
They spent their wealth on themselves and expected you to sit still and look pretty. The perfect compliant child.
Sure you had everything you needed, and asked for... but you had to bluntly ask for it... there was never anything thoughtful or decent
So, you never get letters from your parents while you’re at Hogwarts
Or gifts, or packages... you write letters and send them off, but never get a response. You don’t even know if your parents get them.
So... maybe it’s a few years before Draco notices and cares.
It’s only because he happened to be sitting next to you one morning as mail came in, a flurry of owls, letters and parcels. And you don’t even bother to look up. Your eyes are trained on your breakfast, your face stoic
“Here,” Draco shoves a covered tin of treacle tarts your way. “My parents sent me these. I don’t even like them,” he scoffs, trying to play off what he’s doing.
You eye him, in disbelief and stand abruptly. “Be grateful they send you things,” you snarl and storm out of the Hall, spending the rest of the day in your room, writing a letter you never send.
Maybe after writing the letter you never send about how you feel makes you realize you were a bit rude to Draco
So you apologize when you see him next.
It’s later that night when you two are the only third years left in the Common Room. Maybe you were a bit of a coward and waited until he was alone
He reaches into his bag and offers you the same tin. “I meant it. I really don’t like sweets,”
You can’t help but laugh as you accept his small gift.
Sitting beside him on the couch, you stare at the tin in your hands.
“You can eat them,” he teased. “They’re not poisoned.” He says it so earnestly, you laugh again.
You mumble another thanks before you stand abruptly and head back to your room, leaving Draco a bit confused. He shrugs and goes back to his potions homework.
“Mother, Draco gave me some treacle tarts today. They’re from his parents. I think he noticed that you never write back. Of course it’s been three years. But at least someone noticed. If that’s what this was...”
It’s a few days later during breakfast that you get a letter. You’re shocked because it’s the first time it’s ever happened and your owl is fluttering happily on your shoulder.
It’s not signed, and you have no idea who it’s from, but it holds kind words and encouragement. It’s such delicate and immaculate script, you’ve got no idea where to start looking for the author.
So maybe you don’t. But you keep the letter and write a response. Again, it’s never sent, but it makes you smile and not feel depressed afterwards. Which is new.
Draco would never forget the innocent smile on your face as you opened the letter he had sent anonymously. You didn’t seem to notice his stare, so entraputed in the bit of parchment.
He sent you a letter maybe a few times a months. It was the most mundane things. How he liked the weather. His worries for the next exam. How you handled yourself well in Transfiguration.
He never knew you reponded to each one. And kept those letters in a fabric box under your bed. Or how every night when you were feeling depressed you’d take them out and read them. And that they made you feel better.
You knew your secret author went to school with you, and was in close proximity but that was about all you knew. Sometimes you wondered who it was writing to you. Sometimes you were just content with having a letter to hold.
“I don’t really know who you are, but I’d like to know I think. At least to thank you for making me happy, even for a short while with your letters,”
You leave that letter on your desk, not thinking to tuck it back into its box. Which is your first mistake
Your owl, seeing the letter on your desk, delivers it, knowing who your secret author is.
Draco grips the letter so tightly that the paper almost tears. Your owl preens herself on his sill. “You know,” he accuses. “Did you tell her?” Like he expects a response from the bird.
It’s Christmas, and your mystery writer sends you a parcel this time with a note: “haven’t you figured it out?” In the parcel is a tin of treacle tarts.
You freeze before your gaze turns to Draco, who’s watching you intently.
You run through a lot of emotions. Anger, confusion, gratitude, hesitation, joy... it’s all so overwhelming that tears sting your eyes and you practically run from the Great Hall, leaning against a random hallway wall and start to cry at the absolute ridiculousness of it all
Draco Malfoy was sending you letters
Really sweet letters that were thoughtful and kind and honest and nothing like you’d ever seen from him before
The there was the tin of sweets sitting in your lap. Looking at them made you cry all over again
Draco, on the other hand is very confused and rushes after you against his better judgment.
“Look I’m sorry if—” he starts but you cut him off by laughing.
“Merlin, don’t apologize,” you sniffle, standing. “Thank you,” you throw your arms around him, and pull him close, showing your gratitude. He eventually figures out that it’s a hug and hugs you back.
“You really don’t mind?” He asked, hesitant. “Because I... I know it’s stupid. But you never get anything and I know what it like to be ignored by your parents and I just thought—”
“Draco,” you call his attention, finding it sweet that he rambles when he’s nervous. “I don’t mind in the slightest. And it’s not stupid. It’s the kindest thing anyone has done for me,”
Draco fidgets and blushes slightly, looking at the ground.
“I will admit, I’m surprised it’s you,” you mused softly, catching Dracos attention and the hurt on his face. “Only because you’re... I don’t know.” You smile and shrug. “I feel like no one knows that—this part of you,”
“And what part of me is that?” He scoffs, trying to play it off.
“The sweet caring one,” you smile. “Who doesn’t mind sharing his sweets with a girl even though she knows he’s the first to eat dessert every meal,” you raise an eyebrow at him.
Draco goes a deeper shade of red because you’ve caught him in his lie. He starts to apologize again, but you stop him
Later that night you look at all of the letters he wrote you and that you wrote back. And the night before Christmas when everyone else was asleep, you spent the entire night working the letters into a book with magic
You give it to Draco Christmas morning, and though it’s lost in the pile of gifts from his parents, you’re happy (even if your parents didn’t bother to send you anything. You had a few gifts from your friends and you were okay with that)
Draco doesn’t pay much mind to the book until later that night, when he’s alone and can go through it in private. He’s surprised to see that you answered every letter you’ve written him. And he’s sort of in awe. He never knew that they meant that much to you
He thinks of you and your smile and how you’ve poured your heart out into these letters the same way he has and he never thought anyone would open up to him like that
Slytherins had a reputation to uphold—you both knew that, so the fact that both of you had this little secret made things a bit better
You see each other the next day and he thanks you for the gift and it’s a bit awkward, but in a nice way
Draco still sends you letters but now he signs them and they get a bit ridiculous that they make you laugh
“Did you see how Snape tripped over his robes today?” “You’ll never guess what Blaise did today...” “Greg actually asked me if the sky was blue because it’s not blue at night,”
They’re so endearing and making you giggle to yourself. You always catch Draco’s eye from across the hall and he raises an eyebrow at you, daring you to say something
Your friends of course want to know who’s making you laugh with their letters and you try so hard to not let your secret slip because you don’t think Draco would want anyone to know
And you’re afraid if others do know, he’ll stop writing to you. Letting his pride and ego get the better of him.
Draco wonders if you’re embarrassed to be talking to him so he never reveals your secret either but your both a bit frustrated at the other because of this dance you’re going through
He still writes to you over the summer and they’re more diary entries than they are letters but you still love them and respond when you can your parents might get suspicious and you don’t want to lose your penpal
You totally sneak into his families box during the Quidditch World Cup and your parents didn’t notice because they never do and you have the best time with Draco, both rooting for different teams
“You just like them because of Krum,” Draco accuses.
“Do not!” You argue back. “And besides he’s a great player anyway!”
Draco grumbles “I could do better,” and you have to laugh at him and he smiles at you
He grabs your hand and you both run as the Dark Mark is sent out over the match and Draco pulls you out of the chaos to where it was safe and you wait out the attack. He holds you protectively as you shake with fear against your will
Neither of you mention it. But at night you remember the feel of his arms and he remembers your warmth as you both curl around pillows wishing it was the other
Fourth year means the Durmstang students are rooming with the Slytherins and you get to share some of your classes with Krum and you might just explode with awe
Draco is jealous and hell hath no fury
Now Draco starts to send you ridiculous little gifts and notes almost weekly
Your friends (and most of the school) are now interested in this secret admirer of yours and you huff and you’re more annoyed at Draco than anything because he was being well, ridiculous
You grab Draco one day and confront him because he just sent you a bouquet of sunflowers
“What the hell?” You demand. “You said you liked sunflowers in Herbology,” Draco shrugged. You growl and storm away.
Now he’s sending you notes in class when you’re with Victor who doesn’t even sit next to you
At that point the secret is out on who your secret admirer is and now Victor won’t even talk to you because of Draco’s behavior.
You’re livid to say the least.
You stop talking to Draco altogether and become indifferent. You almost tell him to stop sending you things because you don’t want them, but you don’t.
It’s not that you don’t want the gifts and the kind gestures you just know it’s coming from the wrong place and it doesn’t sit right with you.
“What is wrong with you?” Draco demands one day.
“Wrong with me!?” You snap back. “What is wrong with you!? Seriously Draco! I’m not some shiny toy you can show off!! I’m not something you can claim either! So stop trying!”
“Who said that I was—”
You give him a sharp dangerous look and he shuts up.
You storm away again, tears in your eyes because it’s not how you wanted things to go.
It felt like you were walking away from your best friend and you knew you couldn’t fix it. And maybe that’s what it was like.
You almost run into Krum and fall down, but he catches you. Concern grows when he sees you crying. His concern for you just makes you cry more as your run back to your dorm room, not caring about the whispers around you as you lock your door and sob.
There’s a knock on your door and you have a good idea of who it is, but you don’t really want to talk to him right now
And Draco knows that. Sure, it took you to confront him about what he was doing, but you were right, you weren’t some toy to fight over
He sat against the other side of the door, mimicking your curled up position
“...I’m sorry,” You hear through the door. “You’re right. I... you’re not... I’m sorry...”
When you finally have the courage to open the door, he’s gone
You close the door again and flop on your bed, screaming into a pillow
You may or may not fall asleep there...
in the morning there’s a letter sitting on your window sill
Knowing who it’s from, you curl up in your covers with the letter and open it
Draco had spent about two hours thinking of how to make things right again, to prove how sorry he was... and so he poured out his entire heart to you in a letter
it was messy, scratched out, sappy, and heart felt, and apologetic and vulnerable and a beautiful mess that you couldn’t help but read again, and again, and again until you let a few tears slip out
You quickly get dressed for the day and rush into the Great Hall, seeing Draco sulking at the breakfast table, until he sees you, then his eyes go wide with panic and fear
It takes everything in you to remain composed and not run down the line of tables, but you manage
He stands to meet you and you smile, grabbing his robe and pulling him close, pressing your lips to his
“But... I... and you...” Draco fumbles, pulling away.
“I might not want to be owned,” You grin, pulling out his letter, “But I’ll belong to this Draco any day,”
“Deal,” He grins, and cups your face, kissing you again
.
masterlist
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more like this:
muggleborn!slytherin
patronus cliche
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Easy As A-B-C
Pairing: Professor!Gwilym Lee x Reader
Summery: Professor Lee is getting sick of marking papers, you offer an alternative. One where he doesn't need to think at all.
Warnings: SMUT (18+), unprotected sex, bimbofication (without hypnosis), oral sex (m and f receiving), hand job, light dom/sub dynamic, dom!reader, sub!Gwil, overstimulation, maybe a little bit of hair pulling
Words: 4,537
A/N: This was massively massively inspired by my love @dracoladon and her Drarry fic Lucid (seriously, go read it because she’s a much better writer than me and also sex dumb Draco is hhhhhhh). Reading it made me want to write more himbo fics but without all the hypnosis stuff thats in my Future Management series. Then I got talking to @peachydeacon about himbo!Rog which led to talking about himbo!Gwil and this fic is the result of our discussion lmao. It was also partly inspired by a post on a porn blog that popped up on my dash but I can’t link to that because tumblrs dumb.
Also, it is a professor gwil fic but set after reader has graduated so it’s all above board lmao
Blurb Advent: Day 24
Taglist: @vee-ndetta @atomic-watermelon @kellypenac @labessieisallama @deakyclicks @jennyggggrrr @drowseoftaylor @hannafuckingsucks @i-cant-hangout-im-drumming @queenmylovely @ilovequeenmorethanyou @johndeaconshands @borhapbois @stardust-galaxies @cherries-n-rocknroll @rogersslave @scorpiogemini
Gwilym looked unreasonably hot while he was grading papers, his brow knitted, wearing a look of serious concentration made all the more noticeable by the reading glasses sliding down his nose. His loose tie and the undone top buttons of his business shirt lent him a casually dishevelled air, and that wasn’t even mentioning the way he absentmindedly twisted his pen between his fingers as he read and reread sentences he was struggling to understand, occasionally pausing to underline something or write a note in the margins. It all painted a very sexy image, the kind of serious sexy only a professor could achieve, though this sexiness was nowhere near new. You’d found his manner oddly arousing even when he’d been your professor. Of course, that had been a few years ago and well before you’d had your chance encounter in the local second hand bookstore that led you to ask him out. He’d stuttered out something about never having even thought of you as more than his student and “really I feel almost as if I’ll get in trouble for the conversation as soon as I get back to campus.” But the awkwardness soon changed when you confessed to having had a minor crush on him back in the day and having since hoped to run into him. He seemed more open to the idea of dinner with you after that and, if you were being honest, more cocky too, but cocky in a decidedly dignified and charming way. Anyway, one thing led to another and now here you were somewhere close to a year and half later and you were struggling not to stare at Gwil as he graded papers and looked professor-ally disarrayed and hot.
You knew it was something to do with the Romantic era poets that the students had to write about because he’d read a question out to you earlier to get your opinion of if it was confusingly worded.
“No, I don’t think so,”
“Then why in god’s name do none of my students get it?” he looked about ready to hit his head against the desk until he passed out but he returned to the topmost paper with a sigh and ruffled hair from where he’d run his hand through it. That’s when you’d started trying not to stare. A tall order when all you could think about was dragging Gwil to the bedroom and ravishing him enough to make him forget all about John Keats and poetry and the English language itself. Not that that was exactly hard. No, Gwilym had a tendency to get a little dazed and confused when you really gave it to him. Sex drunk you’d decided to call it. A transformation that you quite delighted in witnessing and causing. Gwil was sharp as a tack usually, always ready with some obscure fact or quote from literature. It was part of what made him such a good teacher, his memory for all things bookish, as well as his approachable (if a little stern) demeanour and his determination to get the best from his students. But it wasn’t hard to shut down his brain, cloud his memory and entirely befuddle him. One time you’d snuck into the bathroom at the restaurant you’d gone to for dinner and poor Gwilym had become so spaced out he’d spilt half a glass of wine in his lap and then walked into the glass door as you left, even with you leading him by the hand. You supposed that what they said about great power and responsibility was true. All the same, it was a fun power to wield and you knew that, with the right sort of attention, you could have Gwilym babbling incomprehensible gibberish with no memory of what a poem even was, which was surely something he’d appreciate right about now.
You blinked yourself from your reverie as, finally, Gwil set his glasses aside and rose from his seat, groaning as he stretched out the stiffness in his back. He rolled his neck back and forth, your eyes following, before letting his shoulders drop and moving to sit next to you on the couch.
“I can’t do it anymore, I can’t read another word about Byron or I’ll loose it.” He sighed, draping an arm around your shoulders and leaning into your neck.
“Byron? I remember that assignment. Everyone hated you for it,”
His breath was warm against your skin as he spoke, sending a tingle down your spine, “Well if this year’s lot is anything to go by, the feeling was probably mutual,”
“Mmm, I remember one girl saying she was going to shove her copy of Don Juan up your arse if she didn’t pass,”
He lifted his head again and laughed, “And yet my rectum remains Byron fee and no other injuries befell me, so either I taught you enough to get by or you were all a bunch of cowards,”
“Bit of both probably. And why would this year’s be any different, huh?”
“I don’t know, you haven’t read any of their attempts at cohesive analysis. Some of them are just throwing out terms like allusion and anapestic and personification all willy-nilly, clearly without properly understanding them. ”
“I think you’re being too harsh on them. They’re first years after all and it’s not always easy to understand all that poncy poetical bullshit. Plus, you know it all already so of course everyone else seems stupid to you,”
“Maybe,” he conceded, though it seemed to take some effort.
“Honestly, someone should put you in their position, see how well you go with it,”
“Yeah? And who would do something like that?” Gwilym laughed as you shifted to straddle his lap, accepting the kiss you offered, “You?”
“Maybe I will. Spell personification for me,”
“You know it’s not high school English, right. We don’t do pop quizzes on spelling and grammar.”
“I know you don’t, but this is my subject and I’m testing spelling. Besides,” you let your hand drop between you, brushing lightly over the front of his pants, “I promise it’ll be fun.”
Gwil gave a half-hearted eye roll, “P-E-R-S-O-N-I-F-I-C-A-T-I-O-N, personification. D’you want me to use it in a sentence too?”
You knew he’d get it right. Gwil always had been good at spelling off the top of his head which you supposed was a side effect of all his reading and the years devoted to the written word. But it was still a little annoying. Mostly because he was being a bit of a tool about the whole thing, but it didn’t help that you’d grown quite wet thinking about how you’d like to have him, like to turn him into the fucked out airhead you’d seen before. You shook your head and tutted at him as if he got it wrong.
“No, that’s definitely it. I’ve just read it about a hundred times, I know I’m right. P-E-R-S-O-N-I-F-I-C-A-T-I-O-N,” he spelt it faster that time, trying to prove that you were wrong.
“Try allusion for me,”
“A-L-L-U-S-I-O-N,”
Right again. You sighed as if you were disappointed.
Gwilym raised his eyebrows but said nothing.
“What about caesura?”
“C-E-A-S-U-R-A,”
The mistake was an easy one to make, two letters flipped around the wrong way, and you could tell he knew it was wrong as soon as he’d said it. He was surprised when you leant forward to kiss him again, cupping his jaw with one hand as you dropped the other and slowly pulled down the zip on his work pants.
“But I fucked up,” he said softly, eyes still closed as you pulled away a few centimetres.
You just smiled as you thought of a new word, “Anapestic,”
It was another word Gwil had mentioned as seeing in his student’s essays so you knew it would be fresh in his mind and he proved as much when he spelt it, “A-N-A-P-E-S-T-I-C,”
He was right of course, so you tutted and pulled your hand away from his crotch, grabbing his chin with your other and forcing him to look at you, “You can do better than that.”
His features shifted at the sudden loss of contact, the look of concentration returned once more.
If anything, your much closer proximity to the expression made him seem all the more hot but you resisted the urge to give in and drag him to the bedroom, curious if he’d catch onto your little game now and, equally so, to see if he’d play along, “Try Onomatopoeia.” A longer word gave him more chances to get things wrong but would his pride and his brain allow that? Apparently so.
“O-N-O-M-” Gwil paused and thought for a second, his eyes narrowed as his looked at you, “O-N-O-M-A-T-O-P-I-A,” the last three letters were said with such deliberate diction that you knew he’d figured it out.
“Good boy,” you said, letting your hands slip inside his undone pants to massage his dick.
His hips jolted at the contact and he let his hands fall to your arse, squeezing.
“What about, dactyl?”
His reply was instant, unthinking, and totally correct, “D-A-C-T-Y-L,”
You clicked your tongue condescendingly as you once again removed your hands from him.
“Fuck,”
“Well that’s what happens when you get things wrong, honey, and such an easy one too,”
“I didn’t get it wro- fine, give me another,”
You smiled, unable to hide how delighted you were that he was interested in following your rules, even if it was just his competitive streak rearing its head to show that he could out smart you, “Assonance,”
Gwilym spelt the word slowly and carefully, making sure to only say one ‘s’ and to leave off the ‘e’. And you made sure to reward him for it, shuffling backwards on his lap so you could shimmy his pants down his thighs and wrap your hand around his cock. He raised an eyebrow at you but otherwise made no comment as he leant back in his seat to enjoy the attention.
“Romanticism,”
Once again Gwilym was careful with his spelling, intentionally replacing the ‘c’ with a double ‘s’ but that was the kind of behaviour you wanted to encourage so you kept stroking him off, twisting your wrist, dragging your thumb over his flushed tip. It must have felt good with the way he was sighing, shifting his shoulders as if to move his whole body closer to yours.
“So clever baby, what about,” you paused, dredging up memories of poetry analysis and the words you used to have burned into your brain but which you’d not had much use for recently, “Enjambment”
“Ummm, E-N,” Gwil hummed as you leant over him and let a trail of spit drip onto his cock, using your hand to spread it over his length, “Enjamb-ment, uh, E-N-J-A- no E, no A, M-E-N-T,”
You leant into his ear and spoke softly, “That’s right, being so good for me, so clever. What should I do next though? Ride you? Or maybe suck you off? Or just keep doing this?”
“Uh,” Gwilym shook his head a little as if to clear it, “mouth? Please?”
“Of course, baby. If you can spell dissonance for me.” You were quietly confident that he’d get the spelling wrong, already noticing the first sign of his impending brainlessness, extra filler words where he’d normally not need them. It was funny though, usually he wouldn’t reach that stage until he was much closer to nutting.
“D-I-S” he rushed through the first three letters and then stopped, biting his lip, “T-um, A-N-E-N-C-E.”
You were sure the errors in that word were less intentional than the previous few and, as promised, slipped off his lap and settled yourself between his legs, pulling his pants off so he could spread them wider for you. You held eye contact as you let your tongue trail along the underside of his cock, tracing along a vein, though you couldn’t help but smile as he groaned above you.
“Can you spell Decasyllable for me?” you asked before closing your lips around the head of his cock.
“What? Oh, um, D-E-C-K- fuck,” he broke off as you swirled your tongue around his tip.
“Fuck’s not a letter, baby,” you sank down on him again, bobbing a little lower.
“I know, um, Deck-syllable, D-E-C-K-A-S-Y-B-L-E, I think. Is that right?”
In answer you hummed and took him a little deeper, pushing his shirt up towards his chest.
Gwilym took the hint and pulled it off before he grabbed your hair, leaning his head against the back of the couch. For a moment you just focused on sucking him off, listening to his shallow breathing and whiny groans. But you weren’t finished with your game yet.
“Epigraph?” you asked before bobbing down on him again, pushing yourself to take him deeper still.
Gwilym remained silent as you gagged and pulled back from him again to breath freely.
“Well?”
“What did you say?”
“Epigraph. Can you spell that?”
He nodded as you resumed your bobbing, his hand grabbing at your hair, “E-P-P-E-G-R-A-F-F.”
You hummed around him and his hips bucked up, pushing him further down your throat for a second.
“No, don’t stop,” he whined under his breath as once again you let him fall from between your lips.
“Sorry baby,” you wrapped your hand around his base and switched back to jerking him off, “you’re so hard though and I know you want to earn your orgasm like a good boy,”
Gwilym nodded.
“Okay, so spell meter,”
“M- oh, I don’t know,”
“You do know, baby, you just gotta try. Meter,”
He scrunched his face up in thought, “M-E-E-T-R,”
“See, I said you knew it, and you did it so well!”
Gwilym gave you a dopey smile, looking proud at your praise, “I did?” His mouth dropped open with the movement of your hand.
“Of course baby! You got it completely right because you’re so clever. What about sonnet, do you think you can do that one for me?”
He nodded enthusiastically, “S-N-E-T,”
“Very good! Okay, three more and I’ll let you cum,”
“Okay!”
“Okay, what about,” you thought for a moment, watching your hand pumping over his shaft as you trailed your fingernails lightly over his thigh, “Spell rhyme,”
“Ummm,” Gwilym bit his lip in thought, soft grunting noises rising in his throat in time with your strokes.
“It’s a bit of a tricky one,”
“Yeah.”
“And it’s hard to concentrate isn’t it?”
“Mmhmm, so hard to con-ten-tate,” he thought for a little longer as you slowed your hand, “rrr- R-I-M,”
“So clever baby! Okay canto,”
“Oh! Ummm,” Gwilym pouted and whined as you unexpectedly drew the tip of your tongue around his head, “I don’ know,”
“No?”
He shook his head, eyebrows furrowed.
“Okay what about, poem?”
Gwilym seemed to have reached the last dregs of his knowledge, grunting in frustration as he shook his head again.”
“You sure you don’t know?”
He bucked his hips up into your hand as he shook his head again.
“Alright, I’ll give you an easy one then. Spell your name for me, spell Gwilym,”
Gwil’s eyes lit up at the suggestion but his face quickly slipped into a frown again, the expression getting more pronounced with every passing second he didn’t say anything. He sought out your face, his eyes brimming with frustrated tears, “I don’t…” his fists balled up as he looked to you for help.
“You don’t remember?”
He shook his head once more, a tear shaking loose and rolling down his cheek, “you said it was easy.”
“It’s okay if you don’t know,”
“Really?” he sniffled.
“Of course it’s okay. You’re not supposed to know things.”
“I’m not?”
“Awww, of course not baby. That’s why I’m here, to know things, and you’re just here to make me happy.”
Gwilym sighed and leaned back against the couch, smiling again.
“Do you want to give it a try for me?”
“Umm,” he whined as you slowed your strokes
“It would make me very happy,”
“Okay, umm…G? L? ummmm, M?”
“You’re so clever, baby!”
Gwilym giggled proudly and grinned at you as you adjusted your grip on his cock.
“You’re my good, smart boy, aren’t you baby?”
“Mmhmm,” he bucked his hips towards you as you took him into your mouth again. “Feels go-od,” he mumbled, almost panting with how close he was. You dragged the hand that rested on his thigh up to cup his balls as you sucked on his tip until he moaned and came, spilling his seed over your tongue.
You kept working your hand along his length, even after you’d pulled your mouth from him.
“Was that a good orgasm baby? Did it make you feel good?”
He nodded, pouting a little as you kept wanking him, “good oggsam,”
It took all your effort not to laugh at that, biting on the inside of your cheek to keep from letting so much as a chuckle slip. Very few things delighted you as much as when Gwil forgot how to talk properly.
“You know,” you said as you finally let his cock free, “sometimes when people have orgasms they feel euphoric. Do you feel euphoric?”
“Mmhmm, you-porik.”
“Clever boy. Do you want to help me feel euphoric?”
“How?”
“With your mouth,”
“Oh! Okay!”
You braced yourself against his knees as you stood, leaning forward to give Gwil a small kiss on the lips. He closed his eyes and smiled up at you contentedly as you shimmied out of your own clothes, dropping them all to the floor.
“You going to let me lie down?” you asked, tapping Gwil on the shoulder.
He looked around confusedly for a moment before his eyes settled on you, growing wider as he realised how naked you were. Without warning he surged forward, his hands grabbing your arse as he nuzzled his face in the valley between your breasts.
If it were up to Gwil he would have stayed there all day but you had need for him elsewhere so you yanked his head back by his hair, earning a small noise of displeasure.
“Don’t complain, baby. You want to make me feel euphoric, right?”
“Mmhmm,” he hummed earnestly.
“And how do you think you could do that?”
“I don’t know,”
“Maybe, cunnilingus?”
“cun-un-un-un-gus,”
“Exactly,” you directed his gaze down to your pussy, failing to hide your amused grin. But he was too far gone to notice, happily slipping to his knees in front of you. Telling him to wait for a second, you climbed onto the couch and spread your legs, beckoning him between them once you were comfortable.
He hadn’t been able to say the word but that didn’t mean he wasn’t skilled at the act. A string of soft hums and throaty sounds rose to your lips as he licked your cunt, the scratchy sensation of his beard only amplifying the soft, wet, warmth of his tongue.
“Can you, oh, can you spell poem for me baby?”
Gwilym hummed and then started naming letters, his mouth still pressed against your cunt as if he didn’t realise he couldn’t talk and suck at the same time. You didn’t bother to stop him when he said too many letters or correct him when all of them were wrong. You just let his breath wash over you, his tongue flicking against your clit with each new letter, eliciting longer moans and sighs from you.
“Fuck Gwil,” you panted, “keep going,”
“Keep going,” he repeated, his voice muffled as he dragged his tongue all the way down your slit and then back up again, making you whine.
You jolted when he reached your clit again and pressed against his head, keeping him close to you, your other hand trailing up your chest to tweak your nipples and knead your breasts. Occasionally you’d give him an instruction – “faster please,” or “do that again,” or “fuck Gwil, right there,” – and he’d repeat the words back to you, softened and often a little slurred together or mispronounced, before doing as he was asked, drawing you closer to release. He was pleased whenever another groan or mewl slipped from your lips, responding to them with sounds of his own as if he were savouring a particularly delicious meal. It seemed he’d taken what you’d said about making you happy to heart, though some of his whines might have had more to do with his cock, hard again and straining to be touched as his attention remained focused on you.
“I’m c-lose ba-by,” you grunted as Gwilym pressed his mouth to your lower lips, as if to give you a soft chaste kiss, only to begin shaking his head side to side, rubbing his face against your cunt.
“loase,” he muttered to himself, trailing his tongue back up to your clit, making you grind your hips up into him. It was impossible to keep your mouth shut in the face of such a feeling, wantonly moaning as you felt your orgasm bubbling to the surface.
Gwilym hummed against you in response to a particularly loud moan which managed to be your undoing, your knees trying to clamp shut around his head as he continued to suck at your clit.
When you calmed enough to let go of his hair and loosen your thighs from around his ears, Gwilym looked up at you. His face was shiny and wet but he seemed to have regained some of his usual awareness. His eyes weren’t quite as vacant and his smile less dopey than it had been.
“Feel good?” he asked, sounding almost normal except for a slight lightness in his tone.
“Very good baby,” you leaned forward and kissed him full on the lips, tasting yourself as he opened his mouth and accepted your tongue. Slowly you dropped your hand between you, finding his cock again, not quite done with your brainless toy. He grunted against your lips and bucked into your hand as you stopped his return to sense.
“Isn’t this fun?” you said softly as you pulled back, holding Gwil by the chin to stop him from trying to follow.
“Yeah, fun,” a smile slowly tugging at his lips, “what is?”
“Not needing to think, baby,”
“Oh! Yes,” he laughed.
“You’re too pretty to have a brain anyway, aren’t you? Much better off letting it leak out of your head,”
“Mmhmm, much,”
“And do you know what good, dumb boys get?”
“No?”
“They get fucked. Would you like that?”
“Yes yes yes,”
“Alright, lie back for me,” you chuckled, giving his cock a final stroke.
Gwilym settled on the carpet on his back, grinning as you straddled his lap. Silently he held out his hand, all but two of his fingers folded against his palm.
“No, I don’t need your fingers sweetie,” you said, giving the tips of his two fingers a light kiss, “as dextrous as they are and as much as I enjoy them, I think I’m okay skipping straight to your cock,”
He nodded, letting you place his hand down on the floor again.
You watched his face as you slowly sank down onto him, once again the picture of cunt drunk bliss with glazed eyes and his lip between his teeth. He smiled as you leaned down to kiss him, rolling your hips against his slowly. As you tongues entwined again, Gwilym framed your waist with his hands, slowly dragging them up your sides and onto your chest. He cupped each of your breasts in one of his palms, squeezing softly as you rocked forward and back.
“Better than Byron isn’t this?” you asked, pushing yourself up a bit, but not so far you couldn’t kiss him again.
“Wha’s Byron?”
You laughed, “Y’know I think this might be the dumbest I’ve seen you. Can’t believe all it took was a rigged spelling test.
He obviously didn’t understand, staring blankly back at you.
What he did understand was that you were moving further away from him and he whined as you pushed yourself to sit higher again, bracing your hands on his chest as you used your knees to raise and lower yourself. It still wasn’t enough though so you shifted again before too long, placing a hand behind you to grab Gwil’s leg. You leant back on it changing the angle of Gwilym’s cock, and felt his hands drop from your chest, no longer able to reach as easily. They came to rest on your leg, his fingertips digging into your skin as you rode him, keening as you felt the start of your orgasm building in the pit of your stomach.
“Fuck Gwil, fill me so well, feels so good,”
“My dex-ik-tus cock?”
You couldn’t help but laugh, taken by surprise at his misunderstanding and mispronunciation of dextrous, but you nodded in agreement too, repeating your sentiments about how good it felt.
“Wanna make me feel even better?”
“How?”
You sat forward again and reached for his hand, pulling it to your clit. Gwilym took the hint, messily rubbing as you bounced on his cock, but his whines and moans only grew as you rode him.
“You’re close?”
“Mmhmm,”
You were on the verge of asking if he could hold it when he came with a groan, pulsing inside you. But you didn’t stop.
“I’m close too, baby, so I’m gonna keep fucking you, okay?”
He nodded, eyes fixed on you.
“Good boy.” You panted, grabbing his wrist to hold his hand at your clit and adjusting your rhythm. Each time you sank back down onto him you did it harder, slamming his cock into you as deep as you could manage, groaning with each one. Your orgasm was frustratingly close but Gwilym was becoming steadily more sensitive as his subsided, wincing more with each of your thrusts. The winces turned to whimpers which turned to whines as you whispered that you were so close.
“Almost baby, almost,”
“Please. Hur’s,”
“Nearly, just. One. More,” you threw your head back with a moan as you finally found your release, Gwil whining when you pulsed around him, a fresh tear running from the corner of his eye onto the carpet as he squirmed under you.
“Sorry, baby,” you said softly as you carefully dismounted him.
He hummed as you kissed him again, leaving an extra kiss against the tip of his nose.
“Did so well, such a good boy for me,”
“Yeah?”
“Mmhmm, so good,”
He gave you a slightly watery smile and let you pull him into a cuddle, sighing contentedly when you brushed your fingers through his hair. You stayed like that for a while, knowing that later you’d regret lying on the floor for so long but unable to find the energy to move or the willpower to tell Gwilym you had to let him go. He gradually lost the fucked out expression, becoming more aware of his surroundings and more capable of clear speech.
“How are you feeling?” you asked when you realised he’d blinked away the last of his sex drunk vacancy.
“Better than before. Little tired but much more relaxed and very satisfied. And, before you ask, yes that’s satisfied and yes I can spell it if you want,”
“I believe you.”
#my writing#my fics#smut fic#gwilym lee x reader#gwilym lee smut#gwilym lee imagine#this has been half written in my drafts for much too long now#but im very happy to be able to finally post it!#just got one more thing to write for this advent countdown#which i'll try and knock off after i get back from church#so that its ready to go in the morning#anyway#hope ya'll like this#i might kind of love writing pretty dumb boys#blurb advent 2020
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Overall thoughts on V8? Assuming you didn't answer this already.
I meant to do a volume wrap up review but I got incredibly busy and it fell to the waste side. The thing about me judging RWBY I have to come at it from two angles or I won’t feel like I judged it appropriately. There’s the casual, first time seeing the episodes and seeing this through the lens as a casual watcher who probably only sees the episodes once or twice. But then there’s the other side to that coin. I review these episodes, write aus, theorize, check extended lore, listen to the music, etc; that means I have to go back and watch episodes several times for any given reason and that’s when you start noticing the holes or picking up on things you didn’t before.
As a casual watcher, I’d give this an 8/10. There’s plenty of moments where characters do things that got me excited and plot points I wanted explored. This volume actually gave a decent amount of things I wanted for quite some time and some things I didn’t know I needed. Certainly there are things I don’t like in this but I’m open and curious to see where RT takes their storie because it’s their story.
Okay, now as a someone who’s had to deep dive and take a step back multiple times for a variety of reasons. 6.5/10 maybe a 7/10 if I’m being generous. A lot of my problems with this volume are problems that aren’t new to RWBY and that’s just how surface layer portions of arcs are and how a variety of choices/bonds don’t exactly make sense with what we were previously shown, or they only make sense because the writers don’t want introduce other complexities even though they should be there realistically. I’ll give a couple examples of these and yes, I’m aware what I say doesn’t bother everyone but it bothers me.
Qrow was never angry at or brought up Robyn being the reason their airship crashed in the first place because she started the fight; which aids in Clover dying.
Emerald follows Cinder, not Salem. Even if Cinder is working under Salem, why would Emerald be so willingly to complete shift to the side that actively goes against Cinder? There’s been no grand revelation to make Emerald believe Cinder doesn’t give a damn about her. Leaving made sense because she was about to get tortured. Going full turncoat right now doesn’t. No change happened. Emerald always hated being near Salem but adored Cinder no matter the crimes and the show hasn’t done anything to switch that view point.
I’m happy Whitley and Weiss had a touching sibling moment that implies they’re okay and making/made up, but there was never a conversation about the actual problem and thoughts that had them at odds in the first place. Weiss saving his and Willow’s life shouldn’t be the thing that smooths things over. It would’ve been terrible if Weiss do something to save their life. Whitley helping Penny is okay I guess because he really had no reason to contribute but did anyways. Even so, a person doing a morally correct thing doesn’t automatically warrant the conflict between him and Weiss’s resolved.
We got Cinder’s backstory; it didn’t tell us anything about how she eventually came into contact with Salem. Honestly her back story felt more in line of her main goal through the series was an absolute freedom by the means of breaking down the systems that trapped and didn’t give a damn, rather than her quest for power. Yes you can argue gaining power means it’s easier to maintain her freedom to do whatever she wants but I personally think that’s a little off the mark when you gave her a story that involves her trapped by rules and time rather than being too physically weak to gain freedom.
This show has built up that the Schnee family has suffered various types of abuse because of Jacques and uses Weiss as a medium to build towards breaking free from that. Not just overcoming but confronting the abuse by cementing it’s place below you. We don’t really get that. There will never be a moment where the siblings and mother truly get to break out of Jacques grasps emotionally and then put him in his place because he’s dead! Yeah they never have to worry about him again but even last volume they showed Winter still having turmoil and being able to get strung along by him. We don’t even really know how Whitley perceived his father. It feels so lackluster. Then they care to mention how it’s Weiss’s idea to save him like it’s an empowering moment when in actuality, it would be against her character, values of a huntress, and morality to let a person die in cell when you’re the reason they’re in a cell! Letting him die in there would just terrible. I don’t even know why he wasn’t let out in that scene! He’s a coward! He’d follow their orders to save his skin. All he has to do is shut up and walk through a portal.
Ironwood and Oscar both knew they could remove that staff to use it and Atlas wouldn’t drop immediately. Why did nobody have any kind of compromise with one another since there’s nothing stopping them from using the staff for something and then putting it back? They had this morally gray thing going on which I liked but then they decided to make Ironwood go full evil. I’ve never had to say this before but the song he got in V7 and the character they made him be in V8 just don’t connect. I got upset listening to that song recently because I liked that Ironwood.
Clover’s importance. RT tried making a character who had no more than 9 minutes in the series and one meaningful line of dialogue into the cornerstone of a side plot. Clover is such a nothing character. Vine did more than Clover. They try to make him have such a profound impact to the people around him but we never see him bond with his team; Harriet specifically. We get one scene of Clover telling Qrow the kids are fortunate to have Qrow even if he doesn’t think so. First, I doubt Clover knows Qrow decided to get drunk in a ghost town and the kids nearly died and cellar while he did it so that compliment doesn’t hold much weight for me. Second, We see nothing meaningful between the two. V7 has a time skip and just expects viewers to be on board with Clover being this influential change on Qrow without showing anything outside of a witty remark and Clover flexing his semblance. I would’ve bought it more of Qrow almost relapsed and Clover stopped him then had a real meaningful conversation.
Ruby goes against Ironwood only to then want to do a plan that’s aligned to longer term thinking than even his, talks about how everyone should be working together, but then adds a part in her video to actively antagonize and vilify Ironwood. Afterwards, she wonders where everything went wrong and doesn’t think of a plan or do anything to immediately help either kingdom until the final hour between the ultimatum being made, to everything getting destroyed. The inciting incident was disagreeing Mantle should be left in favor of Atlas but the main character didn’t do anything to help Mantle 90% of the season and hindered Atlas’s safety up until the final plan.
Yang is used to be the devil’s advocate in a bunch of situations, but she’s wrong most of the time or her lines just don’t make any sense. They weren’t doing just fine before Atlas. They almost died every step of the way. The team didn’t beat a Leviathan; silver eyes and a robot take credit for that. Why would Blake think less of Yang for wanting to go save people immediately? Blake was never mad at anyone to begin with. Yang consistently calls out people for following orders as if it’s objectively wrong, but is never called out on the fact she hasn’t followed anybody’s orders but her own and added discourse to every situation. I get RT is making her ask questions because that’s what Raven told her to do, but all she’s really doing is picking fights and disobeying every order. Yang states to Ruby they accomplished more than they expected. That’s false, getting Oscar back is correcting a mistake caused by her own plan that she didn’t even complete.
It took 6 volumes before Yang had anything to do with the Summer Rose subplot again and 7 volumes before her and Ruby had a sister to sister conversations; 5 if you wanna count Yang telling Ruby to leave at the end of volume three. The reason I bring this up is because in V8 , they treat their argument as if it’s a big deal but then have every character say it wasn’t that big a deal; but then have two circle back to that conversation later after having neither character discuss to anybody that the argument actually did weigh on them. Yang doesn’t think about Ruby until she sees her again and the closest we get with Ruby is Blake reassuring her that people need her and how Blake admires her. I like that scene but it’s not the same as Ruby actually airing out the specific point that Yang said something that Ruby found hurtful. Vol8 in general people trying to comfort others but nobody ever actually addresses what made them uncomfortable to start with. Except Ren.
This one is a nitpicking but I’ll say it anyways. Penny getting hacked only served as a purpose to go to the vault, a thing Ironwood already wanted them to do. Nobody got her because she was hacked. You can’t even say her getting hacked is the leading factor to her actually dying because Penny became a vulnerable human afterwards that can’t be rebuilt. Pietro was gone, and already stated last volume he doesn’t have the aura to build Penny again. If she died as a robot then it’s still permanent death. No core, no Pietro, and no aura; hacking her was just to create a Hound reveal situation and make them go to the vault on a different set of terms. I’m not exactly upset with this, but I don’t understand why the extra steps. The Hound was hunting her anyways. I would’ve brought some kind of value if she hurt a friend and it caused them to potentially hinder the plan later on or remove them entirely. Penny could’ve rekt Yang and it only adds value to Yang getting one shot later. I don’t know. I’m rambling.
I think I’ve wasted enough people’s time. Honestly, I do like this volume. I’ve enjoyed a bunch of it. But there’s things that legitimately make me think it’s not as good others and makes V7 even worse.
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five stages
please read here: a03 link
Angel fanfiction - Angel/Spike
[Angel dies in the final battle of 'Not Fade Away'. Spike is the one to break the news to Connor.]
Trigger warnings for suicide attempt, drug overdose, self-harm
There is brief Spike/Connor but it is reactionary behaviour on the part of Connor and mention of sex act. I was under the impression that Connor was of age at the end of the series, but apparently the writers were unclear about this? Debated on whether to put 'Underage' in trigger warning since this was the case. if that is something that people feel a certain way about, I can do so, but for now, it's not marked as such.
- - -
An hour, a few more broken bones, and three packs of cigarettes later, Spike is talking to a brick wall, sounding out words.
Connor, Angel--
No.
Connor, I have some bad news.
Actually, it's terrible news.
Actually, it may be the worst news you're ever going to hear.
No, that's worse.
Connor, your father is dead.
Dead.
It's a funny word, the first d a hope, the vowels an escape, the last d a slam, that’s final and absolute.
It’s funny how the word dead sounds like the beginning, middle, and end of a life.
Spike doesn't know what an end is, doesn't know what the words final or absolute are, because even when he died (the first time), he had believed in everlasting life.
And when he had woken up, buried six feet deep in his own grave, he had understood how meaningless death could become.
Because even when he had burned alive in Sunnydale (the second time), he hadn’t thought too much about what would come afterwards, and then afterwards came.
Death would have been a relief for what came after the flames.
Even with Buffy, there had always been a hope, that maybe because she had thrown herself into another dimension, she could find a way back, could find a portal, could crawl through.
Denial's also a funny word.
But Spike can feel it in his bones this time, that these words are not just flutters of the tongue, but real weights.
Angel is gone and there is no coming back from this one.
Spike finally settles on
I tried to save him. I'm sorry.
~ ~ ~
Connor doesn't react at first. There's a moment of disbelief, a nervous smile. Angel has always managed to escape whatever prison, torment, hell dimension he’d been thrown into, and this was no different, right?
Right?
~ ~ ~
He somehow finds himself at Spike's door the next few nights.
The first night, Connor stalks into the room and punches Spike so hard in the face, his nose breaks. No time to react, Spike finds himself on the floor, his head being pummeled into the ground, the boy landing punches wherever he can.
Spike lets himself be beaten and broken. Spike takes it because this is what he has always done, always been good for, it seems, most times, the only thing he's good for. Because he deserves this. Because Connor needs this.
When the boy stops, Spike can't see, can't hear, can't move, but he can hear a voice above him spitting out ,
You're pathetic. You won't even hit back. No wonder he's dead. You didn't even fucking try.
Spike doesn't move, doesn't respond. Eventually, Connor's breathing slows and he gets off of him, and leaves.
In the shower, Spike wipes off the blood and swallows, Connor's words ringing in his mind.
It's your fault.
You should have saved him.
And you didn't.
You killed him.
Coward.
Coward.
Coward.
Murderer.
The second night, Connor barrels in, and grabs Spike, but this time, the blood is on Spike's lips, Connor's teeth are on his tongue, and his nails are in the vampire's skin, clawing, and the boy's biting, fighting
but Spike won't have this, won't let this happen, because it's one thing to beat him senseless, but it's another to use him this way,
and only Angel is allowed to use him this way
only Buffy is allowed to use him this way
only the ones that he has broken himself apart for and have been broken by him in turn are allowed to use him this way
and Connor is not one of them.
Even monsters have limits.
So Spike shoves Connor away hard and Connor is shocked and angry and his brown eyes grow dark, almost black, and Spike doesn't want to see this, doesn't want to deal with this, so he looks down, but the boy won't let him--
What's wrong? I thought you liked cock.
And Spike doesn't tell him that this is what he desperately wants, needs, what he's missed so much he's drank himself unconscious, blackened his lungs out, fucked until raw, cried himself out.
He needs this, more than he ever thought he would, but
not with him.
Am I not good enough? I’m his son, aren’t I? Or, don’t tell me, you’re getting all moral on me now?
The boy is a passable substitute, alright, maybe a decent one,
but he’s not him.
And as much as it would brighten Spike's day to know that Angel's son is taking him up the ass, the very idea of it is revolting. Angel would not want this. And for some strange, inexplicable reason, Spike suddenly cares what Angel would want.
So he looks up, and brown-black meets golden and Spike whispers,
Get out.
The third night, Connor toes around Spike's doorway until the vampire finally asks,
What is it this time?
Turning around, he sees the boy, hair limp, eyes wet, arms even wetter, and it hits Spike –
the smell, the delicious full sweet smell that courses through his entire frame and fills him with need that almost makes him scream
Spike is consumed by want, desire, hunger
and he is fucking starving
The boy is quiet and he is walking towards him now, softly
and he is on his knees, reaching out his slick arms, gently
and his hair is soft
and his eyes are broken
and he bends over
and Connor whispers
Kill me
Please
and Spike closes his golden eyes
raises himself up
and punches Connor unconscious.
.
.
.
When the boy wakes up, he's in his bed, in his dorm room, with bandages on his arms,
and his head is shrieking,
his arms are on fire,
still shattered,
but he is alive,
and he is human.
The fourth night, Connor flits by Spike's room, and he hears a creak and a sudden slide and thump.
And Connor is on the ground throwing up.
Spike rushes over and sees foam, white, bits of pills, and --
Goddamn it, you can't do this, he growls
Don't you fucking dare,
and the last thing that Connor feels is Spike’s arms wrapped around him suffocating tight.
And when he wakes up again (harder than it looks, huh), he's in Spike’s bed this time, and the vampire’s had fucking enough.
Spike wants to tell him that when he saw Angel that night, finally, absolutely, and permanently still, he took his Grandsire’s sword, and plunged it so deep inside the dragon’s throat, he had had to slice his way out of its belly for hours.
Then he thought long and hard if he should do the same to himself.
Spike wants to tell him that the only thing keeping him from walking out into the sunshine is his cowardice.
Or maybe it’s a way to justify to himself his continued existence – death would be too easy of a way out and he deserves to atone, agonizingly, forever. (When one falls, another must rise).
He wants to tell him that self-destruction and death should only be sought after by the truly guilty and evil, and not the sons of fallen angels.
Instead, Spike asks,
Done yet?
Connor glares.
You should have saved him, not me.
Spike is too tired for this.
Have it your way then.
Spike takes Angel’s blade and levels it an inch from Connor’s throat.
But first, duty calls.
Tosses a phone on the bed.
Living relatives get to break the news. Sorry, but I don’t count.
One ring, two.
And an unmistakable female voice, weary yet hopeful, answers,
Hey, Angel. Everything ok out there?
#fanfiction#prose#angel the series#Spike/Angel#Spangel#Buffy The Vampire Slayer#Buffyverse#btvs#ats#spike/connor#suicide attempt#self harm#drugs#spangel fanfiction#buffy the vampire slayer fanfiction#btvs fanfiction#ats fanfiction#angel the series fanfiction
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Destiel Chronicles
Vol. LXV
It was a love story from the very beginning.
You are the one in my heart (Part I)
(11x11/11x12)
Hello my friends! Here we go again with another meta about season 11!
This time I'm gonna talk about the way this season makes us see that Dean is in love with Castiel and the angel being the only one in his heart. To talk more thoroughly about this, I divided the topic into two parts.
I want to say thank you to @destielle for beta reading this for all of you! Thank you girl! 💕
Get it out of my head!
Just a little thought about this quote that was repeated several times by several characters in episode 11x11 'Into The Mystic'. Of course they referred to the Banshee, but it was clearly a mirrored description of what was going on with Castiel, at that time possessed by Lucifer.
Cas left when Lucifer occupied his vessel, but while Sam openly worries about him, Dean confronts Sam and us with his trust in Cas and him disappearing… 'Cas is always fine!'
He was so embedded into his drama with Amara that he had no time for additional worries. And Cas was always fine... Right?
This momentum is important because of the drastic change we will see in Dean’s stance on this after he discovers that Castiel is possessed by Lucifer. From then on he won’t rest until he is able to rescue him. His priorities will change and Amara will drop lower, behind Cas, on the list. But we will talk about this in the upcoming metas.
Oak Park and Broken Hearts
I need to talk about the two songs in the beginning of the episode: they're extremely romantic, talking about two lovers and how they meet again. So… these may be just little hints of Castiel coming back to Dean after being possessed.
But let's jump to The Residence Oak Park. We meet Mildred, I know, but there's another interesting character, named Arthur. Arthur is the man in charge of the residence, but the reason why he sleeps at this place is because he separated from his wife. He starts talking about it with Dean, and it’s obvious he got his heart broken. He says this sentence to Dean…
ARTHUR: I should have sent the heart. I can be so stupid.
The meaning behind this? He regrets how they broke up over phone, but even more that he didn’t do more to keep her by his side. And these regrets are exactly the same Dean will be struggling with after discovering that Cas was in fact Lucifer the whole time. Maybe he should've paid more attention to what was going on with Cas, acting so weird… but because Cas is always okay, as he claimed... and with Amara on his mind, worrying him a lot, he just couldn't see it.
When Arthur is killed by the Banshee, we encounter through Mildred that he had a heart condition (valves issues), so we, as the audience, connect that bit to the symbolism of the broken heart. This also applies to Mildred herself when she says she has Atrial Fibrillation, another cardiac pathology.
So… why wanted the Banshee to kill Dean? What made Dean vulnerable? Also his heart! It was broken by his encounter with Castiel (Casifer) in the bunker!
Don't use me as bait
Before jumping to Casifer’s and Dean's scene, I want to point out how blatantly the writers helped us seeing the subtext.
First of all they made the Winchesters talk about broken hearts. Because they needed us to see that case revolving around that topic.
Secondly, after Dean and Casifer had their moment, Dean was very offended by the thought of Sam wanting to use Mildred as bait. Why?
Because writers wanted us to see that what Cas inquired to Dean was to make him act as the bait to catch Amara. And that was the cause of Dean's vulnerability and broken heart… he thought Cas was asking him to play the bait, thus putting him recklessly in danger. His Cas, who always had been loyal to him and who would never hurt him, always took care of him even. It broke Dean’s heart, because he thought Castiel didn't love him the way he did. Again, the shadow of the unrequited love…
And that’s said scene:
Dean enters the bunker and finds Casifer searching for something, looking disheveled with rolled-up sleeves and no overcoat, especially without his trenchcoat. It’s an odd sight of the angel. And rightfully so, because it’s not the real Cas…
After this they start talking about Amara…
DEAN: Yeah, I know. Saying you're gonna kill is one thing, but... Actually doing it's something totally different.
LUCIFER/CAS: What do you mean?
DEAN: I've had two shots at Amara. I struck out both times.
LUCIFER/CAS: What are you talking about?
DEAN: I don't even know where to start.
LUCIFER/CAS: Dean... Tell me everything.
Lucifer found something that sparked his interest: why isn’t Dean Winchester able to kill or harm Amara? So he plays the concerned friend right here to gather more information from Dean.
DEAN: I tried to kill her.
LUCIFER/CAS: Well, the two of you are connected somehow by the Mark.
DEAN: Yeah, no, it's, uh... It's more than that.
LUCIFER/CAS: Attraction? Oh, Dean.
Gif set credit @starlightcastiel
DEAN: I know. I know. Okay? Whatever it is, a... Attraction, connection... I got to tell you, man, it scares me. I don't know that I can stop it. I don't know that I can resist it.
Dean defines his issue with Amara with the word ATTRACTION, but he doesn't know exactly what it is, because he can't control it. Because it’s a dark force that drags him to her. So he doesn't know what it is, but he knows what it’s not (I will talk about this in the next meta). So, Dean is terrified… he doesn't like it.
Lucifer is lucky because he can use this against Amara, but he tries anyways to act like a comprehensive friend… but he fails… his first mistake is to place his hand on Dean's right shoulder (and that's when Dean looks at him suspiciously) because that's not Castiel's shoulder (profound bond shoulder).
And after this Lucifer says those unlucky words that will break Dean's heart, proning him to become a Banshee's victim.
Gif set credit @starlightcastiel
LUCIFER/CAS: Hey, it scares me, too. But we will find out what this is, I promise. In the end, it may help draw her out. This could be a good thing.
Dean looks at him hurt and confused. Why does Cas want to use him as bait? Doesn't he care about him?
Dean is pining for Castiel
Gif credit @demondetoxmanual
Mildred was introduced in this particular episode as a wise character, with Dean she talks about watching sunsets and FOLLOWING YOUR HEART. Dean listens to her, and really reflects on those words as we will see in the final episodes of this season, when he follows his heart trying to rescue Castiel from Lucifer despite the main plan. It will be a war decision, more accurate in the circumstances, revealing he never changed his mind and will and has always put Castiel first, because Castiel comes first in Dean’s heart.
Another interesting and wise observation Mildred made about Dean, and writers were very specific to make us see it, is the following…
MILDRED: Darlin'... If there's one thing I've learned in all my years on the road, it's when somebody's pining for somebody else.
[Dean smirks]!!!!! Oh, don't try and hide it now. Follow your heart. Remember? I don't know who the lucky lady is, but I am damn sure jealous.
Mildred saw it, just like the banshee, Dean is pining for someone. The lucky one that has his heart however is not Amara, we know that Dean is afraid of her and he knows it’s not love that he feels for her. But Dean smiles nonetheless… he smiles, because Mildred found out. Yes. He is in love. Yes, he is pining for someone. And it’s a very hot, blue eyed and winged man.
A little Destiel mirror
Just a couple of words about episode 11x12, we have Alex here with a boyfriend that turned out to be a vampire ( a monster) which she didn't know about before.
Pay attention to this dialogue after Alex finds out her boyfriend is a monster.
ALEX: (To Henry) Nothing? None of it was real?
HENRY: Seriously Al? You were a complete freak! I mean, you were an angry loner, creeping around the school like some kind of trench coat mafia?
CLAIRE: You're gonna burn in hell, you sociopath.
HENRY: (Still looking at Alex) I could never date someone like you.
It’s a switched mirror, Alex represents Castiel now, and the disappointment of being rejected will come at the end of the season when Dean calls Cas their Brother. Oh yes, the car scene… and the coward We/Us speech… my heart.
To Conclude:
Mildred served as a channel to show us Dean is pining for Castiel, delivering an advise Dean will follow once he finds out Cas is in danger.
Dean had his heart broken because of Cas (Casifer), drowning again in the idea that his love is unrequited.
Alex/Henry relationship was a switched Destiel mirror and a premonition of the "rejection" Castiel will feel when Dean calls him a BROTHER later on.
I hope you enjoyed this meta, see you in the next one!
Tagging @metafest @magnificent-winged-beast @emblue-sparks @weirddorkylittlediana @michyribeiro @whyjm @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @savannadarkbaby @dea-stiel @poorreputation @bre95611 @thewolfathedoor @charlottemanchmal @neii3n @deathswaywardson @followyourenergy @dean-is-bi-till-i-die @hekatelilith-blog @avidbkwrm @anarchiana @dickpuncher365 @vampyrosa @foxyroxe-art @authorsararayne @anonymoustitans @mybonsai1976 @love-neve-dies @wildligia @dustythewind @wayward-winchester67 @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @deeutdutdutdoh @destiel-is--endgame @destiel-shipper-11 @larrem88 @charmedbycastiel @ran-savant @little-crazy-misha-minion @samoosetheshipper
@shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @mishtho @dancingtuesdaymorning @nerditoutwithbooks @mikennacac73 @justmeand-myinsight @idontwantpeopletoknowmyname @tenshilover20 @teddybeardoctor @pepevons @helevetica @isthisdestiel @dizzypinwheel @jawnlockwinchester @horsez2 @qanelyytha
@imjustkipping @destielle @agusvedder @spnsmile @shippsblog
If you want to be added or removed from this list, just let me know.
If you want to read the previous metas From s11, here you have the links Vol. LXII, LXIII, LIV.
Buenos Aires, June 9th 2020 3:17 PM
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