#like holy shit fuck god jesus dammit fuck man what the hell

[thequietmanno1]

Thelreads, MHA 260, Replies Part 2

1) “Welp, that`s one door down, alright. I forget that she`s a top-10 ranked hero for a reason, we haven`t seen her shine so far from what I can remember, but it looks like that`s about to change.”- This chapter pretty much elevated Miruko to one of the foremost examples of badass mature action girl in the manga, ranked alongside Nana Shimura herself even. 2) “Oh it was almost that. Alright, that fits as well… But oh boy, why do I feel like he isn`t as scared as he`s trying to appear? Why do I feel like he just activated an emergency code and all hell is about to break loose?”- That’s the smile of a man who’s got five aces to your royal flush. Normally this level of coordination and swarming the building with a small army would have counted as Overkill, since as far as they knew they were going to neutralise Maruta before he could lift a finger to activate every Nomu in the building, but in this case, it turned out to be the bare minimum necessary to outplay him and his precautions. After all, if all Maruta really cares about is his mad science and not the patients he interacts with mainly for the potential quirk resources, why would he bother to keep up the pretence when Twice’s quirk offered him the opportunity to have his cake and eat it? As a bonus, it also mean that the real him would never have to leave the safety of his inner sanctum and the assorted super-soldiers incubating there, but luckily he underestimated the speed and ferocity of a white rabbit who’s got the taste for blood

3) “Oh right, just as the great bunny herself jumped into the darkness filled with death and pain, yeah there`s gonna be some nomus waiting for her won`t it?”- Well, it will be shortly filled with pain and death- but not hers.

4) “OH JESUS WHAT THE FUCK

ALRIGHT, I WASN`T EXPECTING THEM TO JUST BURST THROUGH A WALL

NOR WAS I EXPECTING THE DOCTOR HERE TO JUST BE A CLONE

HOLY FUCK THAT`S WHY THEY WERE SHOWING TWICE THAT MUCH?! SO WE REMEMBERED HIS QUIRK AND HOW INCREDIBLY USEFUL THAT SHIT IS?”- This is why Twice’s quirk is such a game-changer and a dangerous threat- even outwith the possibility of the Sad Man’s Parade or cloning manpower in a fight, it simply allows you to have more valuable pieces in position on the chessboard no matter how much you attempt to outmanoeuvre and isolate them beforehand. The heroes had Maruta dead to rights, but because it wasn’t the ‘real’ Maruta, he was still able to unleash the Nomus and cause the chaos they were desperately trying to avert. That said, it also shows a chilling commitment to the goal over the individual- as shown before, the clones themselves have individuality, but this one doesn’t even blink or flinch at himself getting impaled as a consequence of luring the heroes into the radius of the Nomu’s surprise attack, and even spends his last moments of existence mocking them for being so stupid. Just like Machia, what matters to Maruta is more than his own self-preservation, it’s his master’s success and the fulfilment of their grand dreams, and he’s to sacrifice anybody- even himself- if it means elevating Tomura to becoming the ‘Symbol of Fear’. Less so with the actual Maruta, but in that case, he knows his loss is game over for their plans, and that’s something he’s terrified of. 5) “YEAH SHERLOCK, THAT`S THE BITCH THERE.

GOD DAMMIT HE PULLED A FAST ONE ON THEM AND WE DIDN`T EVEN IMAGINED”- To be fair, as far as they know- and Hawks has been keeping a very close eye on him to be certain- Twice and Maruta never really interacted or met before, so there shouldn’t have been an opportunity for him to be cloned. On the other hand, since Twice can now clone himself, keeping an eye on the original is no guarantee than a double of Twice didn’t meet with Maruta instead. Again, Twice’s quirk is simply a game-breaker of a power, because it doesn’t matter how much you amass against it, it can simply make more than what you bring to the table, and it’s impossible to keep track of all the moving pieces or possibilities it brings to every villain who’s under the PLF’s umbrella. 6) “OH, LOOK AT THAT, IT`S MY BOY SHIGGY THE RAKI, AND STILL SOME TIME AWAY FROM BEING COMPLETE. WELL, IT WOULD BE A SHAME IF SOMEONE ACTUALLY NEEDED TO WAKE HIM UP BEFORE THE TIME WAS DUE TO FIGHT THE HEROES, RIGHT??? ( :  “- Thankfully, whilst the heroes didn’t foresee Maruta being able to use body doubles to focus on the surgery, the fact still remains that only Tomura can benefit from this intense medical process, and Maruta can’t create more fakes to distract them from the real deal, nor speed up the recovery process from his surgery. The heroes have struck when Tomura was most vulnerable, and given the way Maruta’s hyping up his new abilities, it’s likely that’s the only advantage they’ve got over him now. 7) “WELP, FUCKING SHAME, BUT THAT`S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU PUT ALL YOUR EGGS IN A SINGLE BASKET, THE BASKET GETS STOMPED DOWN BY AN ARMY OF ANGRY HEROES AND YOU DIE, THE END.”- On the other hand, the fact that all the eggs are in one spot means that AFO and Maruta didn’t have any place else to hide them. They created a large stockpile of power and monsters of mass destruction to prepare for the long-term game to come after this, but if this is all overcome, then it’s game over for them. For Once, AFO’s plans are actually in danger of failing, so long as the heroes succeed in stopping Maruta from pressing the big, red, ‘wake up’ button. 8) “NOW YOU BETTER RUN TO THAT CONTROL PANEL, YOU KNOW THAT BOY IS YOUR ONLY HOPE OF GETTING OUT OF THIS, AND I REALLY WANT TO SEE SHIGGY FUCKING SHIT UP AGAIN.”- Ok, but consider… there’s a lot of heroes and familiar faces in the potential damage radius here, not to mention students from 1A within a 10-mile radius. Are we really ready to say goodbye to these people we’ve all gotten so attached to? 9) “OH HO HO, YOU BETTER GO FAST, THERE`S A BUNNY ON HER WAY AND YOU KNOW HOW VICIOUS BUNNIES CAN BE AFTER

DON`T WORRY IF YOU DON`T, YOU`RE ABOUT TO FIND OUT”- So, pertaining to the Jujutsu Kaisen comparison, I see this as an unfortunate consequence of realism being involved. In said comic, brutal and dark and merciless though it may be, the niceness and kindness of the main heroes is never called out as being an inherently bad thing, just something that they can’t afford as a distraction or hang-up in their line of work, lest more innocent lives get lost in the crossfire. The characters feel sad towards the people they couldn’t save, they’re allowed to grieve for them and lament the ‘what-if’ of the situation that could have enabled their survival, which befits the somewhat grim mood of the manga. In BNHA, idealistic as it is, heroes are still, at the end of the day, people. It’s never really outlined how many heroes are aware that the Nomu were once living human being like them, or if there’s a possibility that they could be ‘saved’ from their current fates, like Aizawa and Mic are clearly intending to achieve for Kurogiri, hence their intense focus on capturing Maruta so he can spill his guts over everything he did to their friend in case there’s a possibility for a cure or a reversal from their current status. But to the vast majority, they only know of the Nomu by their public reputation, by the mass acts of carnage and destruction they’ve caused in the streets and cities at the behest of the league. They can’t see the humanity hidden behind the monsters, they can only see the organic beasts straight out of a Resident Evil game, monsters who will kill them and then go on to kill innocent civilians if they don’t act decisively first. The Nomu won’t hesitate to do whatever they’re told, and given Maruta launched a massive whale-like behemoth straight through the basement to blindside the heroes he’s clearly uncaring of collateral damage, which will only benefit him in his escape if the heroes are forced to detour to protect civilians, so the swiftest way to achieve their objectives of both ‘protecting and capturing’ is simply to take the kill shot before the monsters have the chance to do too much damage, rather than pulling their punches and blowing their slim window of opportunity now that Maruta outplayed them at the last move. Ideally, heroes should be capable and strong enough to save the lives of everybody who’s in danger, but only All Might had the immense might and the skills with it to actually pull that off- everybody else is just a comparatively weaker ‘mortal’ to his ‘demigod’, and thus they don’t have the luxury of playing nice and holding back so as not to hurt others by accident. Even Knuckleduster, who’s no longer a hero, had to try resorting to lethal force in order to compensate for his lack of power in a fight against a stronger opponent. And that’s not getting into the fact that some of these poor Nomu are likely so far gone than not only is death a merciful release, even if their bodies were restored to human form, their minds would be mush from all the trauma and remodelling Maruta did to them, being little more than breathing bodies. That whale-Nomu had what looked like two brains on it, meaning it’s actually formed from two people frankensteined together into one monstrosity, and that’s not something you could conceivably undo even with years of physical and mental recovery. None of the 1A kids would be on board with this course of events, but on the other hand, the grim reality of being a hero is that you have to be willing to risk the life of your opponents against the lives you’re tyring to save from their actions, and sometimes it’s not possible to save both of them and you have to make a tough call. Right now, they might have the labels of ‘heroes’ and ‘villains’ on both sides, but each person fighting is really nothing more than a solider on the battlefield, and showing mercy to your opponent will not only get you killed, it’ll endanger those you could have protected. Granted, I think some of the heroes will show mercy if they’re capable of subduing their opponents, but if not, they don’t really have much other choice but to put them down. Even going through them like a scythe through wheat, Miruko was barely able to break down the door and cut Maruta off from his escape route- if she’d hesitated even a little, Maruta would have slipped through the heroes’ grasp, so the only way to beat a heartless enemy is to make bold moves that are equally dispassionate and prioritise results over ethics for now. The stakes being as high as they are, the option of playing nice is off the table from the start.

10) “SHE FUCKING KILLED JOHNNY WHAT THE FUCK DUDE WHAT DID HE DONE TO YOU HE WAS JUST A LITTLE NOMU”- Johnny is a prime example of what I mean when I saw that the heroes have to ‘make the hard calls’ this time around. Sure, Miruko didn’t actually know he was there and his death was partially an accident, but his power would have allowed Maruta and Tomura to safely retreat and retaliate once Tomura’s modifications were finally finished, and he’s an unthinking biological monster reprogrammed to obey Maruta’s every command no matter what, so the option of convincing him doesn’t exist. Even if the heroes were inclined to see him as a once-human being, killing him is simply the only way to decisively prevent Maruta using his powers to achieve his victory condition, so putting him down was simply the best option they had. It wasn’t the only one, and it was quite a cold-hearted outlook, but it was effective.

11) “Anyway, things are gonna heat up now, won`t they? They got to the doc, the real one, and more than that, they got to Shigaraki, still far from the time to wake up, they got rid of the doc`s escape route, and there`s a fuckton of nomus around, and by the looks of it even some high-ends. Things are about to get exciting, oh my brain trembles just thinking about it!”- The good news about capturing the evil genius inside his secret hideaway is that he has no more long-term surprises to play and his back’s truly up against the wall. The bad news is that he also has no reason to hold back on any of his stored weapons and monsters anymore, so long as they buy him enough time in the end. @thelreads

#bnha #thelreads #chapter replies #my hero academia #mha260

[hinatastinygiant]

Chapter Thirty Five

Zinnia

Pairing: Atsumu Miya x Fem!Reader

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ATSUMU'S P.O.V.

After my talk with Daisho, I call up Rhodes on the phone. I tell him to haul his ass back to the laundromat, the halfway mark between where I am and the pier. He complains, of course he does, but he agrees for Y/N's sake. 

When I meet up with Rhodes, I explain what's going on with Y/N and hop in his car to race down to the pier. We stop the car by some cargo containers and run down the pier looking for any signs of life. It doesn't take too long for us to find a guy with black hair and short bangs that cover his left eye. We both look at each other as we hide for cover behind another storage unit. When the man gets closer, I jump out and punch him square in the face. As he falls, I catch him, then Rhodes and I drag him around the corner. 

"Now what?" Rhodes asks. "I think you fuckin' killed him!"

"Shh, and he's not dead! He's just knocked out. I'm going to take his uniform and go look for the boat Y/N's on," I explain to him. "You need to guard the car. If I'm not back in twenty minutes, you need to get the hell out of here."

"Are you sure?" he asks as I kneel down and pull off the man's uniform. "You want me to leave you behind?"

"You're not leaving me behind. I just told you the plan. It's for your own safety!" 

After I steal the man's uniform and put it on, I say my goodbyes to Rhodes and rush off. The pier is like a damn maze, but eventually, I find a boat with men in similar uniforms as me surrounding it. After taking a deep breath, I fix my outfit and walk toward the group. 

"All aboard, sir," one of them says while standing up perfectly straight.

"Then what're we waiting for? Get the fuck on, man," I scoff, playing my role as I walk right past them and step on the gangway plank. 

When I get on the boat, I look both ways before heading toward the right and praying that Y/N was in that direction. I poke my head into a few spots before finally finding a room packed with girls. I peer around, hoping to find Y/N in the room, but instead find Kana sitting nearby.

I walk up to Kana and brush some of the sweat off of her forehead. "Holy shit, Kana, are you alright? Shit, I'm going to get you out of here, okay?"

Just then, the sound of footsteps approaches the room. I turn around and realize I had left the door open when I walked in.

"Don't worry about me. You've got to find Y/N," she tells me.

"Where is she?" I ask as I look around again.

"Not here," Kana tells me. "I don't know where she is. She went off with one of the guards. I'm really worried about her, Atsumu. They know who she is."

"God dammit," I curse to myself. 

"Hey!" a loud voice shouts at me from behind.

I stand up and turn to face a tall man with the sourest look on his face. "Who the fuck are you?"

"New hire," I shrug.

"Not with that uniform you're not," he replies, placing his hand inside his jacket. I quickly make the assumption that he's about to pull out his gun and instead, make sure mine is out first. The sound of it firing off is almost covered by the girls screaming, but I can't take any chances. At least one other guard must've heard that. I need to get the hell out of here and find Y/N quickly.

Only a moment later, I see a familiar, fucked up face run up to me with a gun in his hands. "Ah Jesus, Kuguri, don't you know who to fuck off? How the hell did you get here so quickly with your fucked up face anyway?"

"Same way you did, you asshole. I walked here on my fucking hands! What the fuck do you think? Now keep your sweaty ass hands in the air!" he shouts.

I suppose this is it. I have no idea what I'm going to do now. Even if I do shoot, his gun will go off at just about the same time mine does. There's no way I'll make it here without a bullet somewhere in me.

As I begin to lose hope, I notice a pair of chained hands raise up from behind Kuguri's head. They're laced together into a fist before slamming down hard against his head, causing Kuguri to turn down. Once his back is to me, I extend my arm out and take the shot. He falls against whoever is behind him, only to then be pushed to the ground. Only then do I see her; Y/N, except with a completely new face that is definitely not an upgrade. She looks as though she's been mauled by a bear.

Shocked at what I'm seeing, I run up to her and throw my arms around hers. "I'm so sorry," I whisper to her. "Come on, let's go."

As I pull away, Y/N looks at me like I'm insane. And when I take a step back, she remains in the same spot. She then bends down and points to the bundle of keys on Kuguri's belt. When I see them, I quickly pull them off of him and unlock Y/N. The two of us then begin to unlock the rest of the girls, starting with Kana.

Together, our large group rushes out of the boat. Luckily, the guards outside went in like I directed them so it was smooth sailing right to Rhodes' car. 

previous | next | black canary

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#atsumu miya x reader #atsumu miya x you #atsumu miya x y/n #atsumu x you #atsumu x y/n #atsumu x reader #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu self insert #haikyuu x female reader #haikyuu #y/n #atsumu miya #miya atsumu #x fem!reader #hinatastinygiant #fanfiction #fanfiction series #ao3 #black canary

[haunted-seance]

UN/DEATH

Was it a fever dream or had he made it back? Looking at the bright sterile clinic, the bustling nurses and doctors, the faint nostalgia of being back on Earth kicked in. His face lit up and he danced in circles. "Fuck yeah! Suck it Sovereign!" The stares of patients and nurses went unnoticed by Klaus as he left the place to head home. Beer, no Jack; how long he'd gone with tasting that warm spiced nectar.

"Shit....Harley's going to think I died for real this time!" Klaus ignored the gawks and stares. His pace picked up, wincing as his bare feet cut on some gravel on the sidewalk. Dammit, what the fuck was he doing before he left? Looking at his attire, he second guessed who he might have been doing when he was blipped, damn, that would be a great way to go.

"Klaus! Holy shit you're back!" Ben appeared next to him looking him up and down. "What the fuck happened."

"Ben! Benny Boy!" Klaus exclaimed. "Oh man don't ask, it was a long 20 years and it involved some big bad God trying to fuck our souls or something." Not literally, but, it was all the same to him. "How's Harley?" Ben's pause sent a surge of panic through him. His paced brisked to a jog.

"Well... She... went looking." Ben admitted reluctantly.

Oh shit, Klaus's mind ran through the bloody and explosive lengths Harley had gone to find him the times he relapsed. "Knowing her this is a def-con 2 disaster."

"I--" Ben shuttered at the thought. "Well, lets just say there was an incident involving Hawkeye and Bruce." He never thought Hyenas could be trained attack animals. Apparently they could. Poor bastard wasn't going to be sitting after that bite.

Reaching the apartment, Klaus stood outside the door.

"You okay?" Ben looked at Klaus's confusion, distance, "Klaus?" Nothing, as if he was frozen in time. "Hey!"

Was this real? Klaus felt his hair stand on end, the prickling of the air's static. It didn't look real. Reaching out Klaus touched the wall, expecting it to give way to his hand, his skin slapped against the cool concrete surrounding the doorframe.

It felt strange. Klaus couldn't place the feeling, it wasn't right. Nothing felt right. He was home, they made it home. "Do I-- do I just go in?" It was his place, well it was before...

"Just knock." Ben sighed, "Did you take something already?" Jesus, not even home five minutes and Klaus was already acting like he'd taken a few hits of Meth.

"No?" Huh, that could explain his fuzzy mind. His hands fished through his pockets. Nothing but fuzz and receipts. He huffed and worked up the nerve to knock. The heaviness of the wood, the sound, it felt strange. Silence, he waited and tried again, nothing. "She went looking? Where did she go?"

Ben averted his eyes, "Well... I don't know everything, but, she took one of the U.N. intelligence officials hostage and got into a pretty bad brawl with Batwoman." That was after Hawkeye got a chunk taken out of his ass.

"You didn't stop her?" Klaus exclaimed and paced. He rubbed his face picturing the disaster Harley could be in.

Ben rolled his eyes, "Well I tried telling her to stop but she didn't listen!" Klaus must have been high to think a ghost could talk to anyone. "Jesus, what the hell happened to you?" He followed Klaus down the hall, "where are you going?"

Klaus looked at Ben incredulously, where else? He had to find Harley before she got herself killed.

[tsuki-sennin]

It's a two-for-one special, folks! ...and it has nothing to do with the fact that I neglected my Pretty Cure watching the week before, nuh-uh!

Besides, 14 episodes minus 13 episodes is equal to like... 1 episode, right? This should count as 1 episode altogether~!

I'm pretty late for tonight since I already had dinner. Fast food. Not particularly good for you, but you make sacrifices for convenience, you know? Besides, a bit of Chinken Nunget does a man good!

Spoilers, I guess... con carne~! And uh... this might be a bit long, so...

Episode 13, dig in!

-Amane Get!

-What the hecc, two?

-Oh, twins. Yuan and Mitsuki. ...quite an unusual combination of names.

-I uh... very nearly assumed something I probably shouldn't have.

-Oh hi, Takumi-kun! I look forward to your increased relevance, Mr. "I'm prominent as hell in the opening!"

-"Does that gay dude summon monsters like a duelist?"

-Oh, epic, curry!

-Fishermen.

-Aw, dammit, that means both Takumi and Yui's hot moms aren't available!

-...though then again, both of their dads are pretty good lookin'...

-Man, traveling the world sounds wonderful...

-Don't embarrass your son about this, An!

-Boy, what kinda stiff-ass office chair is that?

-Ah, he's goin' for a while, huh?

-Ohhhh, Monpei! He's got a name card and everything, he must be important!

-Ohhhhhhhh, shoot!

-So, the Delicioustone has much more to it than.

-You're the chosen one, Taco Meat!

-Oh, you gotta look good for your Dad, huh man?

-Oh c'mon, Dad! Not you too!

-Oh... your name's Hikaru too, huh?

-Kome-Kome's taken

-Instant food. ...damn, that's wonderful... man...

-Aaaaaaaaaaaaagh

-Good thing I was raised by a single mom, otherwise I'd be personally disgusted on Takumi's behalf.

-Guess Takumi's walkin' around in the dark.

-Ohhhh, romance lore!

-Ooooooh, delicious~!

-...wait, he's four years younger than you!?

-Damn.

-OH GOD SHE WAS HIS BOSS TOO AGH

-Oh, he's got Organization coat.

-...WAIT

-Delicioustone, randomly showing u

-Oh I got it now, Rosemary's Monpei's brother, and thus Takumi's uncle! I'm calling it now! You can't beat me, Toei! I'm way too smart for this show made for young girls!

-Oh, that sucks, huh Yui-pyon?

-"Holy shit, I fucking love rice."

-C'mon buddy, say it!

-Aw... Yone...

-Whitebait rice~!

-Missed opportunity to call it the Radiopeppi.

-Yeah, you assholes have fun with that!

-Pretty boy going around dressed like an asshole.

-"Ugh... gross. People having fun."

-Man, he's just a proper bastard, huh?

-"Ah fuck, my fitbit's going off. I need to do my daily violence!"

-Ohhhhhhh, shit

-Yeah, I get it fully now. Ending businesses, erasing memories... the Bundoru Gang are real bastards.

-Aaaaand, off she goes.

-Narcistoru. Coolest Phantom Ever.

-"What a waste of his looks" PAMU M N

-You petty-ass bitch

-"Hah. Okay!"

-"C'mon! Motto Ubau-zo!"

-I can respect the flourish, at least.

-Go for it, Takumi!

-Oh wow, this went on a bit. Uh... not that I didn't expect it too, but

-Well, it's definitely way stronger now. With a cognomen like "Motto", I imagine it would be.

-Jesus Christ, that bastard microwave is speedy. ...is it a microwave, or like some kinda weird toaster oven?

-Ohhhhh, there he is!

-Aaaaand the babbies are free

-Well, I hope you're not so suspicious of Rosemary now.

-...not gonna show me your Delicioustone drip, huh buddy? I've been saving my thoughts on it until I see it in action! I promise I won't make fun of you!

-Well, no preview! Jumping straight into Episode 14!

-...Episode 14!

-Ah, I guess we're shelving the first dozen episodes' Grandma intro?

-Love's first taste~! Truly bittersweet...

-Heeeeey, look at you, Takumi!

-Rosemary takes great pride.

-...yeah, the opening's really a vibe. I

-Takumicchi! Can I call ya Takumicchi? Yeah, you've got a litte lady friend!

-"Good job! Gay Uncle Mari's proud of you!"

-Tomoe, huh?

-Salt and pepper...

-"Uhhhh , yeah, ketchup and mayo!"

-Pepper Man.

-Weeeeeell... that manner of conviction is admirable. You should probably get to know somebody a bit more before springing a question like that on them, though.

-"Egg."

-He didn't even get a chance lol

-Oh man,

-S

-SHE RAISED HER FUCKING FINGER AND QUOTED HER GRANDMA

-YUI NAGOMI

-FUKKIN TENDO

-I can't make any more jokes about Grandma Tendou. They fuckin' beat me!

-Those cheap bastards!

-No, I don't give a crap about Takumicchi's girl problems anymore, the joke has been run into the ground and I'm sad!

-Good for you, Ran-Ran.

-"Eat."

-Sweet. Sour. Fizzy. Refreshing. Melting.

-The innumerable

-Oh... Rosemary-san... I see...

-"Yeah, you wanna fuckin' eat that shit, huh Secretoru?"

-Bittersweet.

-Man, these two...

-There you are, Takumicchi!

-Ohhhh, he's serious.

-About the delicate subject of love, that is~!

-"WHAT MANNER OF PSYCHOLOGICAL WARFARE IS THIS?!"

-"Aaaaaah, young love~! How delightfully tempestuous and confusing~!"

-"Wow!"

-"Fuit gummy!"

-Ohhhhhh, there she is!

-Your sassy gay uncle is now besties with Sans Undertale.

-Ah, love's like that, eh Takumicchi?

-Amane Kasai will be just fine.

-"Ohhhh, goddammit, I can't believe I'm doing this..."

-Ohhh, egg pasta...

-The way it's presented here... I think I'd like to have it with a splash of hotsauce and Parmesan.

-Recibepis

-Memory Massacring!

-Hora!

-It's a... panini press? Mmm...

-Let's go, Takumicchi!

-...I just realized that I don't have an awful lot to say about Kokone this time around. ...uhhh, she's pretty kino. I'd love to see Spicy gets to something super cool sometime soon.

-Steampressed!

-Yeaaaah, good job, Spicy! Ask and ye shall receive.

-Mmmmmm... grilled sandwiches...

-Sammich...

-Hell yeah, Spicy, press that bitch!

-Shit's al dente!

-Steamed Rice.

-Is it he? Can he be?

-Oh trust me Mem-Mem, if you hit that panini press, the fight'd be over in seconds.

-Ohhhh there he is!

-Cinnamon~!

-Black Pepper!

-Black Pepper! ...a fairly simple design, to be sure, but damn do you make it work! I really like how antithetical it is to the Bundoru Gang.

-Seeing dudes do stuff in Pretty Cure's never not gonna be unappreciated.

-Punch.

-Yep, we won pretty handily.

-...soooooo, are we gonna keep this secret, Pepper Boy?

-Cook Fighter!

-"I respectfully decline, but I hope we can enjoy a long and fruitful friendship regardless."

-Real Chad move.

-The taste of first love is truly bittersweet. Let it out, Tomoe-chan. You got this.

-Man.

-Good work today, everybody! I realize this is a pretty long one, but hopefully we all had some fun!

-I can only imagine where we're going with the developments we've seen tonight.

-Pic-a-nic~!

-Ahhhhh, Kokone~! Hooray, Kokone focus~! I'm pleased as punch about this! Looking forward to Saturday~! ...for real this time, I promise.

#if you receive a little kindness give them a large serving! #depapre #precure #delicious party precure #delicious party pretty cure #pretty cure

[makeste]

BnHA 323: “I Don’t Know How to Explain to You That You Should Care About Other People”

Previously on BnHA: Kacchan was all, “Izuku, I’m sorry.” Bakugou Stans were all, “[sobs for a week straight and tearfully awards him the Nobel Prize for character development].” Deku was all, “[faints in Kacchan’s arms].” Iida was all, “[trying to decide if Ochako genuinely tried to kill him a few minutes ago].” Horikoshi was all, “NO TIME FOR HUGS WE MUST GET BACK TO UA.” The civilians holed up at U.A. were all, “WE TOOK A VOTE AND DECIDED THAT WE’RE ALL GOING TO BE JERKS ABOUT THIS AND MAKE A BIG FUSS ABOUT YOU LETTING DEKU BACK INTO THE SCHOOL.” Deku was all “[stands there looking like he expected nothing less and breaking my heart more and more with each passing moment].” Ochako was all, “that does it, looks like I’m gonna have to do something about this... next chapter, that is.”

Today on BnHA: Flashback!Rat Principal is all “I just want you all to know that I spent nine million dollars turning U.A. into a giant Battleship-style grid that can burrow underground and zoom around in a giant subway maze because Horikoshi lacks a grounded understanding of both civil engineering and economics.” Back in the present day, Jeanist is all, “EVERYONE TAKE HEED, MY COMRADES AND I HAVE DEEMED IT EXPEDIENT TO CONVEY THIS AUSPICIOUS YOUTH BACK TO THIS STRONGHOLD. WE ANTICIPATE THAT WE MAY DEPEND UPON YOUR GOODWILL AND ACQUIESCENCE TO THESE TERMS.” The civilians were all, “NO.” Ochako was all, “EMPATHY, MOTHERFUCKERS, DO YOU SPEAK IT?!” The civilians were all, “oh shit.” Anyway so Ochako is a giant badass, but I’m a little worried that she’s going to get struck by lightning. Please come down from there.

so before we start this chapter, I would just like to apologize for having not posted the ch 321 recap yet, and would like to reassure everyone, and especially Iida who is staring at me with Sad Wobbly Guilt Trip Eyes, that I will get to that as soon as I can

OMG FLASHBACK??

yes please Horikoshi please show us more of class 1-A and their Deku intervention strategy jam sessions

oh dear

Iida you are too pure and good for this cruel world. [sprays the U.A. civilians with a water bottle] NO. BAD CIVILIANS! NO OSTRACIZING SCARED AND EXHAUSTED CHILDREN IN THE HOUSE

EXCUSE ME RAT PRINCIPAL WHAT’S WITH THESE MIXED MESSAGES

???

RAT PRINCIPAL: he’s free to return to us at any time!!

ALSO RAT PRINCIPAL: but it’s too risky for him to return to us

?? ??????? ?????????????????????

so now he’s going on about how strong the U.A. Barrier is, and how it’s comparable to the defensive capabilities of Tartarus. this would have sounded a lot more impressive before chapter 297 lol

OH!!!! HELLO, WHAT’S THIS!!!

A TIMELY CALLBACK TO A CERTAIN MYSTERIOUS EVENT WHICH HASN’T BEEN REFERENCED SINCE USJ? [U.A. TRAITOR MUSIC INTENSIFIES]

so now Rat Principal says he upgraded U.A.’s security systems with his own “modifications”, whatever the fuck that means. I mean look, I’ve been saying for a long time now that U.A. is the best place for everyone to hole up, don’t get me wrong. but that was mostly on account of there not being any other practical alternatives. but you’re making it sound like you figured out a way to actually make it Decay-proof or some wild shit like that

-- hold up, DID YOU ADD A FORCE FIELD. DID YOU TRICK THIS SCHOOL OUT WAKANDA-STYLE YOU CRAZY MARSUPIAL. HOLY SHIT. because that would actually be perfect

LMAO

WHAT KIND OF GALAXY BRAIN BULLSHIT. “NAH THERE’S NO NEED FOR A FORCE FIELD, LET’S JUST PUT WHEELS ON IT”

oh okay so the whole campus is basically capable of burrowing itself underground. that’s insane lol I wonder how they pulled that off. probably got poor Cementoss working overtime

blah blah blah so basically the entire campus is split into a grid and each section of the grid is capable of its own independent movement. lol this is just the Merone Base from KHR. you thought no one would notice this casual plagiarism ten years after the fact, but YOU UNDERESTIMATED YOUR AUDIENCE, HORIKOSHI

“joke’s on you imma just lampshade it” WELL ALL RIGHT THEN

“look at me I’m so fucking self-aware” fucking swear to god. I can’t believe this man is my favorite mangaka of all time smdh

“excuse me, I wasn’t finished describing all the rest of this bullshit yet,” Rat Principal breaks in impatiently. “we also added a steel wall all around the underground of the campus that’s 3000 steel plates thick. that’s fifteen fucking meters of solid fucking steel just fyi. and if anyone fucks around with any part of it the defense system will activate immediately! and also all of the plates are independently motorized, whatever the fuck that means!! in conclusion you’re gonna need a fucking tower crane to suspend all of your disbelief by the time I’m through with this paragraph”

“also Shiketsu is almost as reinforced as U.A. but not quite because we still had to make sure we were better.” but of course. and apparently the two schools are connected via a secret tunnel as Hagakure mentioned earlier

LSDKFJLSDKJFLK

“WAIT WHAT” LMAO YOU HEARD HIM, NOW INASA CAN VISIT YOU BOTH IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND TELL YOU ALL ABOUT THE WEIRD DREAM HE HAD. GOD BLESS YOU HORIKOSHI

(ETA: moment of appreciation for Shouto and Katsuki having the same thought at the same time and making Knowing Eye Contact and saying the exact same thing out loud in perfect unison like the best friends they are. what a blessed day.)

so Tokoyami is all “but wait if you engineered all this shit all the way back during the Band arc how did you even know that Tomura’s quirk awakening would become a thing, Horikoshi -- uh, I mean, Principal Nezu”

and Rat Principal is all “lol idk”

“basically I just woke up one morning and was all ‘say, you know what this school really needs? a fifteen-meter-thick underground steel wall, and the ability to break up into little pieces that individually zoom around wherever the fuck they want.’ jesus christ. lol if money and common sense were apparently no obstacle why didn’t you just teleport U.A. to the fucking moon or something. maybe I should shut up before I given him any ideas

dsfaelkjldkjgl

you heard it here first, folks, all of this cost a grand total of nine million U.S. dollars. well technically it cost “more than” nine million dollars. never has that distinction been more important lmao. are we sure this barrier was really made of steel and not cardboard? who the hell sold it to them, Ea-Nasir??

this is my favorite manga series of all time. yes I am ashamed

“in conclusion please do your best to reach Deku-kun” SO WHAT WAS ALL THAT NONSENSE ABOUT IT BEING TOO RISKY THEN. anyway thank you for this super informative and edifying flashback, Horikoshi. I will cherish it always. I don’t even want to read another translation of this absurdity lmao, there’s something special about it just the way it is. pretty sure Horikoshi just had a cracked out fever dream one night and transferred it to the pages of the manga verbatim

anyway so back to the unruly mob

not their finest moment. please excuse me while I cover poor Deku’s ears and give him a good shoosh pap

oh wow the parents are out here too

is Mitsuki trying to hold Inko back?? that’s the last thing this fandom needs right now is more Mitsuki discourse fffwlkjs. and even Jiroudad, scientifically proven to be the best dad in all of BnHA, is just standing there silently looking vaguely unhappy. way to rise to the moment you guys

MONOMA

so this settles it for me that Aizawa is not at UA. I know a lot of people have been wondering about his whereabouts, and if I had to wager a guess it would be that something happened with Shirakumo/Kurogiri. I can’t think of anything else -- even the loss of an eye and a limb -- that would keep him from his kids at a time like this

anyway but this is excellent Monoma content right here though. I love that he apparently adopted Eri after a single interaction with her. also WHERE IS SHINSOU DAMMIT. THE PEOPLE NEED TO KNOW

and Kouta’s there too looking like he wants to run over to Deku but Ragdoll won’t let him :/

it’s gotta be pretty upsetting for him to see his hero like this and not having anyone stand up for him. [taps megaphone] IS THIS THING ON. OKAY YEAH IT SEEMS TO BE WORKING. AHEM. PAGING URARAKA OCHAKO. GONNA NEED YOU TO GET OVER HERE ALREADY AND MAKE THAT BIG DRAMATIC SPEECH WHICH YOU ARE CLEARLY DYING TO MAKE. IF YOU DON’T DO IT SOON I’M GONNA HAVE TO STEP IN, AND YOU REALLY DON’T WANT ME TO DO THAT SINCE MY SPEECH WILL NOT BE VERY GOOD OR INSPIRING, AND WILL PROBABLY JUST CONSIST OF “HELLO, YOU ARE ALL STUPID, PLEASE SHUT UP AND GO AWAY”

so now Mic is telling them to calm down. at least someone’s speaking up here, geez

OH MY GOD

MY MAN JEANIST OUT HERE DOING WHAT HE DOES BEST: MAKING EVERYONE FEEL GUILTY AND JUDGED

OH MY GOD HE IS GIVING SUCH A LONG AND BORING SPEECH LMAO IS YOUR STRATEGY TO PUT THEM ALL TO SLEEP OR WHAT

truly in awe of this man’s ability to take messages which could easily be conveyed in ELI5-speak, and stubbornly convert them into incomprehensible language the likes of which you need a graduate degree in order to understand

“hey guys, so originally our plan was to use Deku as bait for the villains, but that didn’t really work and also we realized it was kinda dumb and was probably gonna get him killed, so we brought him back here instead.” was that really so hard, Jeanist. also are we all really just gonna sit back here and watch Jeanist take full credit for Bakugou’s plan just like that lmao

(ETA:

WHERE DID ENDEAVOR GO AND WHO IS THIS DIABOLICAL MASTER OF DISGUISE. lol I genuinely didn’t notice this because I was too busy digging through thesauruses trying to rewrite Jeanist’s speech; many thanks to @class1akids​ for pointing it out and making my day immeasurably better. take it easy there Dick Tracy.)

“anyway so please stop being dicks and let him fucking rest so he can save all your ungrateful asses” what an impassioned and inspiring plea. time to see if the masses will listen to reason

narrator: they did not listen to reason

oh my god finally Ochako is doing something. YEAH OCHAKO WOOOO SHOW THEM HOW IT’S DONE

hmm

this entire chapter is truly and utterly nonsensical to me lol

(ETA: on my second readthrough I’m fucking dying at how she stole the megaphone right out of Mic’s hand lmao. and how Kacchan is all “fuck yeah nothing I appreciate more than some quality fucking larceny.”)

oh I see she was jumping on top of the main building so as to scream down at them all more impressively

“ANYWAY DEKU IS PRETTY COOL ACTUALLY, YOU GUYS ARE JUST MEAN” couldn’t have said it better myself Ochako

lol uh

gotta say I did not have “Ochako reveals the secret of OFA to the entire U.A. Citizen Clown Parade” on my bingo card for this week. it’s a bold strategy cotton let’s see if it pays off

SDLFKJSL

“NO, SERIOUSLY, HAVE YOU LOOKED AT HIM YOU GUYS. YOU THINK HE LIKES RUNNING AROUND DRESSED LIKE A RUSTED OIL DRUM?? HE DID THAT FOR YOU YOU UNGRATEFUL SLOBS”

so she is basically explaining the entire Deku Angst arc to them and explaining what a good and selfless protagonist Deku is, YES, PREACH

OMG IT’S THE GIGANTIC FOX LADY

not to insinuate anything, but what exactly were you doing standing out here with the hysterical mob, Gigantic Fox Lady? you’re better than that

-- KACCHAN SIGHTING!!

sdlkfjl. thanks for weighing in with that helpful and important observation. where have you been for the last five minutes. were you asleep. was it Jeanist’s speech

never mind, now he’s yelling at the civilians so I instantly forgive him

THE FUTURE NUMBER ONE HERO, EVERYONE. THANK YOU, THANK YOU. HE’LL BE HERE ALL WEEK

“anyway so I’m just going to end the chapter here” lmao seventeen pages truly do go by so fast. at least he didn’t try to force in a cliffhanger at the end this time. dare I say, growth

so I guess the civilians are either gonna have a Kamino and/or Fukuoka-esque moment where they remember how to be decent people and apologize to this poor young man, or else they’ll remain unpersuaded, and so Kacchan will have to knock a few of their heads around until they become more inclined to be reasonable. either option is fine by me lol

#bnha 323 #uraraka ochako #rat principal #class 1-a #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha

[nishisun]

best part ☁️/ 001. Mama?

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Kuroo cocked his head to the side and furrowed his brows at the little boy.

“The hell..?” Kuroo muttered, “Maybe it’s the wrong address.” before Kuroo could even turn around, he couldn’t help but notice a familiar voice calling out for the kid.

“Takeru! What did I tell you about opening the door for strangers? How did you even reach the knob?”

“I’m sorry!” the little boy squealed, you sighed and kneeled down to give him a quick peck on the cheek.

“It’s okay, honey. It’s just very dangerous and I don’t want anything bad to happen to you.” your scolding is quickly cut off when you see the man you’ve been expecting for two hours. “You’re late.” you mutter before attempting to shut the door.

“Hey, hey, hey, what’s up with the kid?” Kuroo’s hand is quick to rest on the door to prevent you from closing it on him. “Is this why you wanted me to come in the middle of the night?”

You swiftly carried Takeru, attempting to shut the door again, just to fail as Kuroo put his hand in between the opening of the door.

“Why? Do you think of me differently now?” you asked bitterly. When he doesn’t say anything, you try to slam the door for what seems like the 100th time. Takeru whines, and you immediately apologize quietly.

“Y/N, c’mon.” Kuroo says, grabbing ahold of your the arm that isn’t carrying the boy. “Can’t we just talk? You’re acting so cold towards me..” he chuckles a bit, sliding his hand that was gripping your arm down to your hand, now intertwining them together. “Get it? Cause it’s literally freezing cold?”

You only roll your eyes at him, before harshly yanking your hand off of his.

“Come in. I don’t want Takeru to get a cold.”

Once you get back from his room, you sit on the chair across from him. There’s an awkward silence at first, it starts off with the both of you making eye contact every now and you then you both look away. Already irritated, you finally speak up.

“What did you come here for, Kuroo?” you sigh in defeat, exhausted from the day you’ve had.

“Kuroo? What’s up with that?” he sounds pretty offended, and you can only bring yourself to sigh once again.

“We’re not dating anymore. It’s been 4 years since I’ve seen you, so I just feel like it’s appropriate for this situation.”

“Situation? Don’t you think you’re being a tad bit over dramatic?”

You shrug.

“and are we just gonna ignore the fact that there’s a literal kid sleeping in this house? Who’s kid is this?”

You look away from him and shrug shyly.

“Holy shit.” he whispers, “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”

“Kuroo-! Language!”

“So It’s true?” you turn to face Kuroo with a confused look on your face. Before you can even open your mouth to explain, Kuroo’s already speaking again. “Kenma told me, Y/N—Fucking Kenma! Do you know how that even makes me feel?” He whisper-yelled. He laughs bitterly, before pressing his lips together.

“Y/N, I’m going to ask you this once, and I’m going to need you to be 100% honest with me, okay?”

You nod, taking an nervous gulp.

“Is that kid in the room my child?”

You chewed on your bottom lip nervously, staring down at the ground. You only nod, unable to speak due to the lump forming on your throat.

Kuroo doesn’t say anything, he sighs and puts his head down on his knees to cover his face. “Do you know how long I had to drive in this freezing weather? Just for me to find out that I’m a dad?”

He’s talking gently, you can hear the obvious restrain in his voice telling you he’s trying his best not to lose his temper.

You don’t respond, you don’t really know what to say. You feel like a kid who’s getting lectured at by their parent.

“Shit,” he drags. You can tell his anger is slowly rising. “Who the fuck do you think are keeping me from my son?”

Ah, there it is. He’s fully upset now.

“It’s been four years for fucks sake! I’ve been missing out on four years! And the only reason I found out was because Kenma had to tell me!” He angrily runs his hand through his hair before sighing once again. “Which I had to practically beg him to tell me, by the way.”

You on the other hand, were surprised that Kenma actually told Kuroo. Of course, you gave him the consent to, (given the fact that you couldn’t bring yourself to tell kuroo yourself) but you definitely not expecting this.

“I” he lifts his head and straightens his posture. “I wanna see him-”

“No!” It’s not as if you don’t want Kuroo to form a bond with your—you and his child, but at his current state? No way in hell. Who knows what he might actually tell Takeru? “I’m not going to let you see him while you’re still upset. Look Kuroo, I understand why you’re angry and I don’t blame you at all! But it’s already late, and you’re not being yourself.”

“The hell does that mean? You don’t know me. I’m not the same Kuroo I was 4 years ago Y/N.”

You lean back on the chair you’re currently sitting in before letting out a sarcastic laugh. “Oh really?”

“It’s just like you said. You haven’t spoken to me in 4 years so how could you possibly know?” He crosses his arms before facing your opposite direction. Honestly. He looks like a kid right now. But something he said really hit home for you.

“Because you never let me, Kuroo!” You raised your voice slightly. “We were what—19? 20? I never even planned on ever having children. How do you think I felt when I found out I was pregnant with my ex’s child?”

Kuroo’s eyes widen slightly at your sudden change of emotions. He really wants to understand where you’re coming from, but you just look so hot when you’re frustrated, he thinks.

“And I wanted to tell you—God, I really did, but you never gave me the chance to. I really do want you to meet him, Kuroo. Just not today.”

He sighs and you’re internally praying he doesn’t argue back because you’re already exhausted.

“Fine,” He shrugs “So when can I meet him, then?”

“Well, I was planning on taking him to the park and getting frozen yogurt tomorrow. You can come if you want.”

“Sounds great—“

“On one condition.” You lift your pointer finger to stop him, making him nod is head confusingly. “You’re only coming as a ‘friend’. You cannot mention, or ask Takeru questions about father related stuff. Not until he’s comfortable with you.”

Kuroo looks like he’s about to disagree, until you glare at him and he sighs in defeat. “Fine.” He mutters. “Actually, It’s a smart idea, y/n.” He smiles. “you’re so smart.”

“shut up.”

“right.”

He stands up from where he’s seated awkwardly, walking towards the front door waiting for you to kick him out.

“Wait!”

he turns around, humming while his hands are still placed on the door.

“Since you drove an hour to get here, y-you should probably stay here. It’s dangerous out there.” you say shyly, staring at the ground.

“Aw, is my sweet Y/N concerned about me? So you do care for me even after all these years, huh?”

“No. I don’t. You’re just the father of my child.”

“your ears are turning red, babe.” he chuckles when you immediately cover your ears with your hands. “Thanks for the offer, but I don’t want to bother you or Takeru. I’ll see you tomorrow-“

“You’re not!” you quickly cover your mouth with your hands. Dammit y/n, don’t give him what he’s basically asking for.

His eyes widen, a smirk already developing on his face and all you want to do is slap it off.

“Okay, hun. If you insist.” grinning, Kuroo looks down at the couch before scratching the back of his head. “I’m gonna need some pillows and a blanket though. Unless you want me to sleep in the bed with you, then—“

Dear God. This man needs to go touch grass.

Clapping your hands to interrupt him form continuing his inappropriate sentence, you give him a fake smile. “You know what? Just for that comment, you’re going to actually be sleeping on the couch. I was going to let you have my bed and I sleep on the couch but it seems like you don’t really deserve it. I’m going to get you some pillows. Don’t do anything stupid.”

“You’re saying that like you’re leaving me in the house alone with our kid—“

“His name is Takeru, Kuroo.”

“Right, I knew that.”

Not even an hour later...

“Tetsuro.”

It’s been 5 minutes since you’ve tried to wake Kuroo up, and he still hasn’t even moved an inch.

“Tetsu.”

Not even the nickname you know he loves wakes him up.

“Kuroo!” you hit him with the pillow you brought from your room, causing him to groan in pain.

“Jesus,” he stretches, “Is it morning already?”

“No.”

“So why did you do that?”

You’re looking away from him now, gripping onto your pillow tighter.

“I..”

“You..?” He shakes his head in annoyance, he doesn’t understand why you had to hit him so hard with your pillow.

“Ihadabaddream.”

He bursts into laughter.

“You idiot. What’s so damn funny?” You scoff, crossing your arms. If you knew he’d annoy you this much you would’ve told him to leave by now. He hasn’t even been here for 2 hours and he’s already annoying the shit out of you.

“You’re 23-“

“Oh shut up! Since when does age have anything to do with my nightmares! It’s probably because you’re around.”

“Oh really?” he challenges, using his hands to wipe away the tears that have formed due to how hard he was laughing. “You really haven’t changed at all. Oh, this is too good. What? Want me to tuck you into bed?” He juts his lip out, obviously mocking you.

Don’t punch him, Y/N. It won’t be worth it.

“You look uncomfortable. Come to my bed.”

“And do what?” He asks cheekily.

“I cannot stand you. I was trying to be a nice person but obviously you’re not being appreciative. Have fun sleeping on the couch, loser—“

“I’ll come. Only cause you’re such a cutie.”

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[xtrashmammalstefx]

Stubborn Asshole (A Zak Bagans x Reader SMUT)

WARNINGS: Smut, language, possession

Special Thanks: To @xcazzax​ for being an awsome reader and source of inspiration. I couldn’t do this without you girly. 🥰

I love Aaron like a brother, don’t get me wrong, but DAMN HIM FOR BRINGING SUCH AN ASSHOLE INTO MY LIFE!

Douchey McGee: Hey Aaron said to message u.

He said: Get the fuck up Y/N!

Me: Tell him I said thnx and

and 2 not have the douche do

his dirty work.

Douchey McGee: Well fuck u 2 Y/N.

I sighed and crawled out of my hotel bed. We’d flown in late the previous night and I was still exhausted. I showered and got dressed in my ripped black skinny jeans, my black GAC shirt, and combat boots. I grabbed my hoodie and purse on the way out. Downstairs in the attached restaurant the rest of the crew were gathered for breakfast and much needed coffee.

“Morning gorgeous,” Aaron greeted.

“Fuck off Goodwin, I haven’t even had my coffee yet,” I said taking my seat beside him. “And by the way since when is boss man your own personal secretary.”

“And here I thought you didn’t know me as anything but Douche McGee, douche, or my personal favorite: Stubborn asshole son of a bitch.” Zak chimed in.

“Good morning to you too Satan,” I rolled my eyes.

I swear ever since we met Zak has made it his life mission to push my buttons in any way he can. But unfortunately for this psychotic fuck, two can play that game.

“Huh that’s original,” Zak continued.

I rolled my eyes and ordered an omelet with coffee. “So you gonna tell me when you decided to make boss man your bitch?” I asked Aaron.

“Well I figured I’ve been the bitch long enough so…” Aaron said.

“Dude, since when have I ever treated you like a bitch?” Zak asked.

“Every time you forced him to stay in a fucked up room by himself during an investigation like a fucking sadist?” I pointed out.

“Oh...right…” Zak said looking like he felt a tinge of guilt.

“Does that mean I’m a bitch too since he’s been doing the same thing to me lately?” Billy chimed in.

“Unfortunately,” I said just as my breakfast arrived arrived. “Oh, thanks.” I said to the waitress.

“Only you can go from bitchy to bubbly in zero seconds flat,” Zak said.

“Fuck you too, Bagans,” I muttered taking a bite of my omelet.

“Not in this life babe,” Zak muttered taking a sip of his coffee.

It continued like that even in the car on the way to the days location: Bly Manor. According to our sources Bly Manor was built in the 1800’s by Charles Bly, an Irish immigrant who made a fortune selling liquor and tobacco. By the time of the Civil War he decided to try his hand at weapons manufacturing which earned him enough to break ground on his dream house. He lived in the manor with his family. His wife Athena, and his daughter Josephine.

It said that on a sunny afternoon while do work in the Manor’s yard a man by the name of Bishop Wiley showed up and shot him dead. Supposedly Wiley’s son Robert was a soldier in the war and was killed by the very guns Charles helped build.

Charles has since been purported sighted walking the manor grounds. His wife Athena has been seen playing the piano, and wandering the halls. As for Josephine well… she was the most famous spirit of all.

“Josephine has been seen on the balcony of the Red Room,” explained our tour guide as we interviewed her. “The story goes that Josephine had met and fallen in love with a man at a nearby farm. And just before they were due to be married he left to fight in the war. She promised to wait for him there until his return. Hopeful that they could still marry and have a family. Sadly the man lost his life in Gettysburg. Charles felt so horrible he felt the need to keep it from her. So she continued to wait. And continues to wait to this very day.”

My heart ached for Josephine. It’s a whole other level of hell to lose someone so dear… I damn near jumped when I felt his hand on my shoulder.

“Hey, you okay?” Zak asked.

“Y-Yeah, I’m fine,” I said before following the tour guide.

We eventually took a break for lunch and then got ready for the investigation. Unlike most of the crew I made it a habit of carrying a small black backpack. I was just stuffing a recorder, spirit box, and MEL Meter when someone pat my shoulder.

“Hey are you sure you’re feeling okay?” Zak asked again.

“Yeah,” I said. “I’m good, um, why the niceties?”

“I may be an asshole sometimes but I do feel for people now and then,” he said.

“Even me?” I arched an eyebrow at him. Before he could answer Aaron barged in needing to grab a spare lens for the camera.

We continued prepping in silence and then slowly but eventually the sun went down and moon shined bright.

Aaron, Zak, and I went in together. We worked together as a group for a while before (in true Zak Bagans fashion) we split up.

“Y/N I want you to stay up here for a while and see if Josephine will communicate with you,” Zak said.

“Alright,” I said stepping out onto Josephine’s balcony. Zak and Aaron disappeared through the Red Room door and I took out my recorder. “Josephine, are you here?” I started. “If so do you think you could answer a few questions for me? I promise you I mean no harm. Just speak into this little device for me.”

I felt a chill in the air but continued. “Why are you still waiting for him?” I asked. “Don’t you think he’s waiting for you on the other side?”

I suddenly felt an overwhelming feeling of sadness and anxiety. I slid down to the ground and then... He promised me. I kept thinking for some odd reason. He promised...he promised we’d go...he promised on the stars...he promised we’d be together.

The thoughts kept coming, and I don’t know when it started but I only realized I was crying when I felt someone shake me violently. “Y/N TALK TO ME DAMMIT!!!”

Zak knelt in front of me looking freaked. “D-Don’t ever leave me,” I cried. “Please don’t ever leave me.”

“Josephine leave her alone, please,” Zak asked. “I know what happened to you was cruel and unfair but that doesn’t mean she should suffer like this.” Call me crazy but Zak actually sounded kind of pissed. There was another chill and he knelt beside me again. “I’m here  sweetheart…” He whispered brushing my cheek with his hand. “I’m here.”

I looked up at him and saw a face that was not his. His hair was chocolate brown and barely touched his shoulders, his eyes the same. My heart took off in joy and I threw my arms around him. He squeezed me before pulling back and taking my face in his hands. “Promise not to disappear on me again?” I asked.

“I promise,” he muttered before bringing his lips to mine. We kissed passionately as though it was a long time coming. After a while it felt like a weight lifted off me and my legs became limp. “WHOA!”

Zak caught me. It was for sure him this time. I was suddenly more aware of things...more awake. “Zak...what? What happened?”

“I dunno,” he said. “But I’m getting you the fuck out of here.”

He scooped me up in his arms and carried me all the way to the GAC van.

“You know you didn’t have to carry me right?”

“Says the girl who just nearly passed out on me,” Zak said setting me down in the back of the van.

“Um Zak did you want us to edit out the last bit of her footage or..?” Billy asked awkwardly.

“Edit it out? Why?” Zak asked. Blushing furiously Billy replayed the footage from the night vision cam we had facing the balcony. It showed me slowly crumbling and then…

“Oh sweet fucking Jesus,” I groaned as Zak and I started making out on screen.

“Uh...yeah I don’t think we need to uh-*cough*-show that,” Zak said turning back to me. “Are you, uh, gonna be okay?”

“Um...yeah I think so,” I said not entirely meeting his eye. “You-uh-you go ahead. I’m just gonna chill with Billy the rest of the night.”

“You sure?”

“Yes. Now go before I drag you back in by your balls,” I threatened.

“Oh yeah you’re gonna be fine,” he said turning his back on me.

“You know you two are actually kinda hot together,” Billy said.

“What? Are you high? Zak and I can barely stand each other,” I said.

“Bull-fucking-shit Y/N,” Billy laughed. “We all can see there is insane tension going on between you. We just don’t get why you guys haven’t done anything about it.”

“What are we the hot gossip going around the office or something?”

“I mean, if this almost-porno is anything to go by...then yeah.”

“Billy I swear to God if I catching you jerking off to that—.”

“You’ll cut my nuts off I know,” he finished for me. “Besides I would never in hell jerk off to my best friend and his girl. It’s too weird.”

“I’m not his girl,” I snapped at him.

“Whatever you say Y/N,” Billy laughed. “Now did you wanna review this evidence with me or..?”

And so I did.

Once the investigation ended we packed up, caught a few minutes sleep then made our way back to Vegas.

Billy, Jay, and Aaron were dropped off first. Then it was just me and Zak.

Aaron: Try not to kill Zak please.

Me: No promises.

Zak then pulled up to my place.

“Are we never gonna talk about it?” I asked as he parked.

“What’s there to say?” he asked. “It-It was a freak incident. We-we weren’t ourselves.”

“True you were actually nice for once,” I said sarcastically.

Zak glared at me. “Go fuck yourself, Y/N.”

“Fuck me yourself you coward,” I blurted out. “I mean...um...fuck!” I sighed and stepped out of the car. I had just unlocked my door when…

“Y/N!” I turned around and saw Zak running up to me.

“Wha―” I was cut off by Zak slamming his lips to mine.

He kissed me hard, as though he was relieving an ache deep within his heart. I kissed back and clumsily opened my door. Zak picked me up, wrapping my legs around his waist and carried me to my bedroom. He placed me on the bed and I reached up to pull his shirt off. I tossed it aside and eventually more articles of clothing followed.

Zak laid me back on the bed and started pecking a trail of kisses all the way down to my heat. A moan escaped my lips as he kissed and sucked on me. “HO-HOLY SHIT!”

To say Zak knew what he was doing would be an understatement. He didn’t stop eating me until I was writhing beneath him. “Z-ZAK!” My back arched and my toes curled up in the most powerful orgasm of my life.

He crawled back up to me, smirking. “Not much of an asshole anymore, am I?”

“Oh shut up,” I brought my lips back to his as I ran my hand up and down his length which like the rest of him was thick and hard. I suddenly felt him move my hand before he reached down and placed himself at my entrance. He kissed me once more before pushing in. “FUCK! How the fuck have you been single this long?”

“Demons tends to be excellent cock blocks,” Zak said as he started to thrust. “Lucky for us, they tend to stay away from you.”

“R-Really?”

He grunted then nodded. Despite his big, tough, persona Zak was actually really sensual and passionate in bed. He kept his thrusts gentle (probably because he knew his above average size could inflict some damage if he wasn’t careful) until I urged him to go faster and harder. After a while he flipped us over so that I was on top. I rode him hard, and Zak, being a gentleman, helped me out by thrusting up into me as I did.

The tension began building up inside me. “Fuck...Zak I-I think I’m gonna…” It hit me like a wave. I tightened around him, arching my back, and damn near screaming his name.

Zak flipped us over again and continued thrusting until he grew sloppy. I suddenly felt him twitch inside me as he cursed and groaned. His body shuttered as he painted my womb with his seed. Finally he collapsed beside me, both of us breathless.

“Wow,” I said.

“I know,” Zak said.

Once my breathing was under control I turned to him. “So...what now?”

He looked over at me.

“I guess we just be together,” he said. “It’s kind of what you do when you’re insanely in love with someone.”

“You’re in love with me?” I asked.

“I’ve always been in love with you,” he smiled. “Ever since we met...I just didn’t want the spirits in my life to hurt you so I decided to keep you away.”

“What changed?”

“Besides that they for some reason stay away from you?” I nodded. “I was tired of letting them get in the way of what I want. I was tired of being away from you.” He draped his arm over my waist. “I love you.” He muttered.

“I love you too,” I said pecking him on his swollen lips.

We spent almost every day together after that. It’s been a year and we are still together. Life was the same for the most part. We still investigated places, while not in bed or spending time with each other. The guys were relieved to see us together (at last) until our PDA became a little too much for them to handle. Oh and there was one other difference as well…

“Y/N BAGANS COME GET YOUR MAN HE’S BEING FUCKING TERRIFYING AGAIN!” Aaron shouted at me through the walkie.

“What happened to having the preggo investigator hang back all night?” I asked rubbing my stomach. Zak made everyone swear not to let me into the buildings with malicious spirits and demons.

“Y/N please,” Aaron begged.

I sighed and looked down. “Aaron Nicholas Bagans for the love of god don’t be a stubborn asshole like your daddy.”

With that I exited the van and went to save the love of my life.

#zak bagans #zak bagans x reader #zak bagans imagine #Smut

[angstyjellybean]

9-1-1 “May Day”

✨spoilers✨

I still can’t tell if I like that woman still

She actually listened good

Oh this bitch is taking credit for that

I love this sweater on May

Bobby is so damn protective for all of his kids I love it

Thank god the mustache is gone

May has had enough and I’m loving it

That’s where the fire is gonna start isn’t it?

IS JOSH GONNA GET A MAN?!

Oh no it’s gonna go down from here isn’t it? Time out and then BAM FIRE

Is Carson not actually good?

BREAK THE GLASS EDDIE

Poor Terry holy shit

Oh god poor Carson

I wanna smack this woman Jesus fuck

MONDAY HEY

Han and Han heeeyyy

Those chairs looks comfy as hell

Buck heard May was still up there and was like oh hell no

I’m sorry Carson is also not accounted for

He was in the room

Eddie getting a little jab in

Y’all better not make Chimeny loose another brother to a roof venting system

She’s getting psychotic tf

Cap watch out good lord

Bobby is not about to loose another child

God venting makes me anxious

NOT AGAIN NOT AGAIN NOT AGAIN

Oh god fucking dammit

Buck and Eddie shot off

I’m gonna start crying please no

Oh thank fuck

God I love the 118

I’m not doing well and apparently none of them are either especially Buck and Cap

Honestly love this episode

(Would like some Maddie but I’ll deal)

Get you a man Josh

I don’t think Alberts gonna stick with this but I think it’ll be good for him to give it up for now

I knew Chim would have a little breakdown cause like ya know, his other brother

Bobby and his ladies in his life

YES MAY YOU TELL HIM

Taylor and Lucy content ooooooo

“She’s a peach” YOU KISSED HER BOYFRIEND SHES ALLOWED TO BE PISSY

May, oh baby

What did Jonah do?

#911 spoilers #911 fox #chimney han #athena nash #may grant #evan buckley #eddie díaz #bobby nash

[bellatrixxue]

Xue’s Supernatural Dare: Wendigo (S1 EP2)

Hello, everyone? How did everyone feel about the finale? Yes? Yes? Oh. Oh. Oh my. Oh, dear.

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell that half-assed homophobic chicken-shit fuckbucket’s not gonna stop me, since I strapped myself onto this roller coaster already and I promised I’m not getting out until the ride’s over, so here we go, wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Also, those who are in this roller coaster with me, ready? Tag list is: @fangirlxwritesx67​ @amazingiam00​ @kalliravenne​ @indecisive20something​ @2musiclover2​ @impossibletosleepthrough @there-must-be-a-lock​ @wingedcatninja​ @arvit​

Oh my gods this recap is so cheesy I actually can make a fondue out of it. 2000s, everybody!

A WHOLE MINUTE AND A HALF FOR THAT FONDUE

FUCKJUMPSCARETITLEFUCKYOU

So we’re starting the episode with the murder scene first, eh? Is that gonna be a trend?

Oh come on, Chads, you’re out in nature and you’re playing video games? Absorb the nature...before it absorbs you!

Waitwait. Holy shit is that...is that Cory Monteith? Oh, bless his soul...

If the wendigo eats his dick as he’s peeing I’m immediately giving Jensen Ackles $100. For no real reason, I just feel like giving him money for already carrying the show on his back.

I can’t tell if it did or not, so I’m not paying yet.

Aw, Sammy...

"I should have told you the truth.” *Vine voice* BUT YOU DIDN’T

FUCKYOUINTHEASSHOhnightmare. Nightmare. So did he visit her at her grave or not? I need answers.

A week? Goddamn. Poor thing. That man-eating tree’s fucking good at his job, man.

“There’s nothing there, it’s just...woods,” Sam, I don’t know if Jess’s death hit you hard or if you got into law school by eating some ancient dick and/or pussy instead of earning that high score fair and square, but the woods “in the middle of nowhere” (your words) are known to be one of the top places full of weird-ass creatures. Even kindergartners know that.

Ehehehehehehehehe he’s so smol next to his lil bro my lil shit

At least you’re coming up with decent covers this time. No Agent Mulder and Scully ruining things for you this time around.

“Bull” oop-

Oh Dean’s a smoooooooooth operator. Good going, buddy.

AND HE GOT A COPY OF THAT DOCUMENT TEAM DEAN TEAM DEAN

Oh that death really got to Sam. I hope he doesn’t turn out to be a trigger-happy psycho. Or eat the man-eating tree and become one himself.

Oh, Haley’s a cutie! Which one’s her brother? Cory? Discount Enrique Iglesias?

Do you have a card for EVERY profession, Dean? And how do I get them too?

That is a very pretty car. I bet they wasted half the budget on that thing.

Okay, sonny boy, little bro, Broseidon, calm down.

Ah, fuck, Haley and Broseidon is gonna go into the woods, that’s more heads to worry about.

How the fuck does Sam find information this fast? I’m impressed, I take five hours to get to one article for my research paper. Or maybe I’m just lazy. So he really earned his law school interview without having to eat dick and pussy, huh.

Every 23 years? What is this, Pennywise? Are we going to see the wendigo do his best Tim Curry do his best scary clown impression? Honk honk?

“Whatever that thing is, it can move.” And the sun rises on the East, Sammy. Why are you so smart and dumb at the same time? Is this his character trait? It might grow on me.

Ahhh, so Sam’s go-to move at interrogation is doing puppy dog eyes and sympathize with the person. He’d make a good lawyer, shame that man-eating tree.

Go Grandpa Exposition, go!

Go Grandpa Exposition, go, give us information and none at all!

OH GEEZ THAT SCAR. PENNYWISE WENDIGO IS VICIOUS.

Skinwalker, Back Dog...Ooh, those all sound cool! I hope we get to see them soon!

‘Corporeal’ doesn’t sound like a real word, but then again, English doesn’t sound like a real language. Sorry. Moving on.

Sam’s gonna eat the wendigo with that attitude, Jesus Christ.

AND HIS BROTHER, AT THIS RATE. If the real villain turns out to be inside Sam all along I’m gonna flip. Is that why women keep dying and burning on ceilings where he sleeps? Is he secretly Lucifer’s spawn or something?

“Oh sweetheart I don’t wear shorts”. They queer-coded him from the start and they tried to make you believe he was straight for fifteen seasons straight? And some people bought that?

Oh, crap, another crappy death treatment for Cory before he got into Glee...No, I wasn’t into Glee, I just watched a few episodes and I might hate Rachel Berry...And Lea Michele...ahem...

Dean is totally flirting with Roy shut upppppppp

OOP AND THERE ROY GOES OH THE SEXUAL TENSION IS HIGH IN THESE WOODS TODAY

“It’s probably the most honest I’ve been with a woman. Ever.” See. Bi. Bi bi bi.

So...why the coordinates, Daddy Negan? Is this a portal to Hell? A place where man-eating trees grow?

*carefully places death flag on Roy*

Ooooh the campsite is very...haunted house-y. You know what I’m saying?

That’s not Discount Enrique Iglesias, but Pennywise wendigo, yes? Those things can mimic human voices, right?

*Google searches*...There are so many versions of this tale I can’t even confirm or deny it. Dammit.

Maybe Pennywise wendigo just wants some snacks and a nice phone and GPS? Maybe he misses his family in uh, Canada or something?

Daddy Negan’s journal is  a e s t h e t i q u e .

I’m so sorry, but the way Sammy smirks as he speaks with those dark, dark voids for eyes? My boy’s a demon. He’s a demon, I’m telling you.

At least Haley has some sense to her. *puts another death flag on Roy*

*PUTS YET ANOTHER DEATH FLAG ON ROY*

True, that. What the heck is Daddy Negan up to with all of this?

“Saving people, hunting things, the family business!” Okay, the way Dean said it gave me chills.

I can actually empathize with Sam here...As whiny and bitchy as he is, he has his reasons to be this way. I guess if I were in his shoes, I’d be less of a Dean and more of a Sam, too. We deal with our losses quite similarly.

Ah, the brotherly bonding moments like these little talks make the show worth it. It’s so heartwarming.

Pennywise wendigo! I didn’t miss you, why’re you here to burst my happy bubble?

I’m starting to see a slight parallel between Haley and Broseidon and Dean and Sammy. Hmm.

Nice meeting you, Roy. Zoop you go.

Haley and Broseidon are taking this rather well, I’m glad they do.

Okay, actual exposition time, thank you.

Whoa, Broseidon speaks! Donner Party! Please don’t remind me of that! Those poor people!

Hibernation and food storage. Delightful, just delightful.

TORCHING? *CALLS RAMMSTEIN*

Somehow, not being able to see the wendigo is scarier to me than what I will probably see itself. Limited budget horror can actually work well.

Oh, dear, Roy literally did a death drop. Badum tissssssssss.

FUCK IT TOOK DEAN THE ONLY CHARACTER I CARE ABOUImean I love you too, Sam! Come on, let’s find him before it’s too late!

A trail of M&Ms! Yes, Broseidon! And Hansel and Gretel refercalled it. Sammy, you and I share the same wavelength?

SHITSHITTHEYTRIPPEDANDFELLINTHEFUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

Thank the gods the Pennywise wendigo kept them right there. Chances.

DISCOUNT ENRIQUE IGLESIAS IS STILL ALIVE GEEZ BUT ALSO PHEW

Ah, Dean Winchester, I love you so much that I can’t even begin to describe it.

Also how convenient that the flare guns are there. Deus ex machina!

Haley would bode well as a hunter, look at her courage, her will. There are more hunters around than Daddy Negan and the brothers, right?

Yeah, seeing the actual wendigo makes me less scared of it now. It’s unnerving, but still.

TEAM DEAN YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHAW

Graphics are...alright, but it’s the thought that counts!

Running with the grizzly bear story. Smart Broseidon. Ben. Sorry, you deserve to be called by your real name. I think with practice they could become good hunters, along with their Discount Enrique Iglesias brother! Is there a fanfiction for that? Can I write it now?

...

I AM WILLING TO DIE TO PROTECT DEAN WINCHESTER I

Haley’s a lesbian, that’s why she kissed him on the cheek only. Headcanoned. Also I have a crush on her, she’s really pretty? Like? Heart eyes???

Ah, the siblings parallels again. Let’s hope neither of the two brothers end up in the bed like that.

“Man, I hate camping.” Really. Really really. Really.

“I’m driving”

...

SAM WINCHESTER I’M SORRY I EVER SPOKE ILL OF YOU I WILL PROTECT YOU WITH MY LIFE TOO I PROMISE YOU I WILL

It’s just a sassy bisexual brother and his little snide bisexual brother on the road to kill evil creatures and find their father and I love this show? Help? Help???

I really, really see the charm of Supernatural now! I’m fully invested in both brothers and their story, and I’m cheering them both on! Let’s get Daddy Negan back and get rid of that man-eating tree once and for all!

Six stars out of five!

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

This dare is introducing me to a whole new world, and I really, really am glad I took that jump a few days ago, man!

Thank you everyone for reading my ramblings, and I’ll see you in the day after with the next review! Thank you for sticking with me! Buh-bye!

- Xue

#xue's supernatural dare #spn #supernatural #dean winchester #jensen ackles #sam winchester #jared paladecki #text #i had a really bad day today with my constant pain and aching from the chemo #but this really brought genuine smiles to my face! #what a good show #what a wonderful show #how the FUCK did they fuck it up later #well #i guess i'll find out when i get there lmao

[anika-ann]

The Troubles Are Lurking in Queens - Pt.2

Of  Not So Funny Billionaires and Terrified Husbands

Pairing: Matt Murdock x reader        Word count: 2960

Type: Two-shot, reader insert

Summary: When an arrogant lawyer demands his paperwork right now or better yet this very moment, you’re a good wife to Matt and decide to deliver the documents yourself – for your husband’s mental health sake (and for the sake of the meeting he’s running to).

The catch is the said lawyer has his office in Queens – and whoever said Hell’s Kitchen was the least safe place in NYC was clearly lying. Also, Tony Stark is... Tony Stark.

Warnings: swearing, mention of attempted assault, mention of past torture, some blood, Tony being a jerk

Part 1

◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦

Spiderman apparently didn’t take no for an answer.

The office wasn’t on the way, but Spiderman delivered the papers anyway; you thought Davidson’s secretary’s face was priceless at least as Spiderman with a woman in his arms knocked on the window of her office, but anyway. Your way included a lot of not exactly secure flying around in the vigilante’s thin and somehow strong arms (enhanced strength?), only holding onto buildings via some sort of a web fibre and it was a fucking wonder you hadn’t either ended up smashed on a side of some building or hadn’t puked by the time you magically landed on the roof of the Avengers Tower.

Also, you were pretty sure some of your blood had rained down on someone and it was an awful idea you couldn’t shake off.

You were clutching your chest trying to catch your breath as the kid let go of you slowly, gentlemanly making sure you wouldn’t faint. Well. Now he was concerned about that?

“Welcome, sweetheart!” Stark’s voice sounded behind you as the billionaire walked in your direction with his arms wide open.

You on the other hand looked at him murderously. Was this really necessary?

“You know Mr. Stark?” the kid asked in awe.

You swallowed the ‘unfortunately’ line and pressed your lips together.

“Tony. What a wonderful surprise. How are you these days?” you wondered with a fake smile and he grinned wider, enveloping you in a hug. You didn’t reciprocate the gesture too happily, but you… tried.

“On a first name basis with Mr. Stark and hugging him? Holy hell!”

You rolled her eyes and spent a precious second thinking what the kid would say to what was coming next. The moment Tony withdrew, you slapped him, because you really needed to slap someone today. Tony was lucky your dominant hand was cut and you used your weaker one.

He tried to set his jaw right as if it really hurt anyway. The Spiderkid fell into shocked silence.

“That’s for using a poor kid for dragging me where I don’t want to go just for your fun or whatever,” you hissed and Tony licked his lips.

“Yeah, okay, I deserved this one.”

“Glad you acknowledge that.”

You tried not to think too hard about that you slapped a man who had once saved your husband’s life. You sighed, coming for another, this time gentler, hug, still wary of not staining his t-shirt with your blood. You probably failed.

“Sorry I couldn’t make it to the wedding.”

“We were hoping you wouldn’t,” you teased, feeling a bit guilty for a) slapping him and b) being cranky. Tony was a bit of a dick, but a good guy. That was why you had decided to send him an invitation along with the other Avengers, who had saved Matt’s life one of the times he had got over his head and you walked into the Avengers Tower begging for help.

“I bet it was boring without me.”

“Totally,” you laughed, letting go of him.

“So… I understand this is some sort of a reunion, but a) I’m not a kid,” the teenage vigilante defended himself and you bit your cheek to stop yourself from protesting. “And b) shouldn’t her hand be handled? I mean, that’s why I brought her here?��

You smiled at the kid. He was cute. “Yeah, Tony. Shouldn’t my hand be handled?”

It was handled, by doctor Cho, who was usually taking care of bullet wounds, knife-in-liver wounds and stuff like that. She was incredibly nice, especially when you considered the shit she was dealing with.

The doc was just finishing your bandage – you only needed two stiches – when your ringtone cut the air and all four present – you, Doctor Cho, Tony and Spiderman – jumped a little.

“Hand me the phone someone, please?”

“FRIDAY, who’s calling?” Stark called out and you were kinda hoping it was just for show. They wouldn’t know that without looking, right?

“Contact saved as Matt, sir.”

How the fuck the AI could tell that? Also… ah-oh.

“That’s a little boring  I was expecting something more original. Sugar-bear. Bumblebee. FRIDAY, put it on speaker.”

You just gaped. How?! And was he serious?

“Oh, and mute her voice.”

“What?!”

“Are you okay?” Matt’s panicked voice demanded from the speakers in the corners of the room and you breathed in to calm his fright – wherever it came from. “Davidson called there was blood on the papers and-“

Oh crap, learning that must have been terrible. Also, you were sure Davidson had been a dick about it as well, probably complaining about dangerous biological material in his office.

“I’m fine, Matt,” you reassured him.

His terrified voice called out your name. “Are you there? Can you hear me?”

You opened your mouth uselessly. Was this for real? Could he really not hear you somehow? What the fuck?! Why would-

“Hey, buddy!” Tony chipped enthusiastically and your blood ran cold. Oh no. No, no, no, no…

Even through the phone, you could hear your husband’s breath hitch. “Who are you? How did you get this phone?”

You could only imagine Matt’s sightless eyes flickering wildly as he was trying to figure out the worst possible bloody scenario.

“I’m-“ you started, but Tony rolled his eyes at your attempts.

“Relax. I’m just having a little fun-“

Spiderman rose to his feet as he apparently wanted to protest too, but Tony shushed him.

“Who are you? What did you do? What do you want?” Matt’s voice changed dangerously, switching to the Daredevil persona and demanding answers. “I swear if you touch one hair on her head, I’m going to tear your limbs off one after another-“

Spiderman shrieked at the cruel threat and the way it was delivered. You gently pushed away Doctor Cho, standing up and making your way to the billionaire with your blood boiling.

“Tony, stop this right now,” you growled, your voice resembling the one speaking through the phone. He was scaring Matt out of his mind. Couldn’t he see that this wasn’t fun?

“Come on! Light up! I’m just gonna-”

“Don’t you dare to hurt her!” Matt thundered and Tony actually jumped at the sound of Matt’s teeth grinding.

“Alright, alright! Jeez, can’t you recognize an old pal? Jesus, DD,” Tony complained and the room was suddenly very quiet.  

“Tony, let me to talk to him.”

“Let her talk to him, Mr. Stark,” the kid supported you and you were sure he made some sort of puppy eyes behind his mask.

Matt didn’t react to learning the name of your ‘captor’. Which meant he was probably really pissed or too shocked. Or that Stark somehow blocked his voice too.

“Tony-“ you pressed and he sighed in defeat.

“Yeah, yeah, FRIDAY-“

There was a beep.

“Matt, it’s me. Are you there?” you asked softly, hearing his sharp inhale. “I’m okay-“

“She’s injured-“

“Shut up!” you shouted Tony down, spinning to him with your hand raised in warning. He had already said enough.

“Well, you are,” Spiderkid noted carefully and you gritted your teeth.

“I’m okay, Matt. I’m in the Avengers tower-“

“Medical wing,” Tony supplied helpfully and you grabbed the nearest thing – which happened to be a metal platter – and lashed it his direction. He shielded his face, silent ‘ow’ escaping him as the improvised weapon hit his hands.

“I’m on my way,” Matt exclaimed.

“Wait-“

There was only a dialling tone and you whined. You measured to Tony with fire in your eyes.

“I’m sorry?” he offered, shrugging with his palms up.

“You are such a dick! Complete and utter dick! You scared the shit out of him!” you yelled at the man who wore almost genuinely apologetic expression. But you didn’t care if he was sorry. He almost gave Matt a freaking heart attack! He had no idea what had-- you squatted for the platter, fully intending to use it again as the idiot was in your reach. “You fucker, you dickhead! You careless fuck-up!”

Each of the insults was accompanied by a hit with the platter. No one stopped you. Tony wisely covered his head. You were sure you it hurt as hell anyway, but somehow it didn’t sooth your nerves.

“I’m sorry, okay?”

“The last fucking time someone had my phone and talked to Matt was when I was kidnapped by Wilson. Fucking. Fisk! He threatened to break my spine to paralyse me, you. Selfish. Arrogant. Bastard!”

Fuck, you were crying and your hands were shaking, suddenly feeling too weak.

You let go of the platter, overwhelmed by the memory yourself; the knife cutting through your skin when the huge man hadn’t liked your answers to his questions, his threats, Matt’s terrified voice on the other end of the line-

The clatter of the platter on the floor snapped you back into reality, but the images didn’t disappear. You brought your hands to your mouth to muffle the scream that drew to your lips.

“Madam?” sounded hesitantly behind you and you tried to blink away the freaking tears and chase away the nasty memory, unable to respond to the kid. It’s gone now, it’s in the past, I’m okay, I’m okay, Matt’s okay— just give me a fucking minute dammit. “Madam, can I hug you?”

You burst out laughing at the request; hysterical laugh during an emotionally heavy situation, the first sign of insanity.

“Oh my god. Yeah, yeah, you can, kid.”

The vigilante obediently wrapped his strong but toothpicks-like arms around your shoulders, embracing you tightly yet gently. He avoided applying a pressure against your belly with surprising grace. He didn’t even call you out on the ‘kid’ addressing. You were really starting to like him.

Maybe it was the costume – the armour – but it was kinda soothing. Maybe it was the knowledge he had to deal with Tony too often, so it felt like he was an ally of yours. You leaned into the hug gratefully and he caressed your back.

“You’re good at this,” you mumbled into the strange material of his suit.

“Thanks, madam.”

You chuckled at the addressing and asked him to call you your first name.

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Tony bullied you into a check-up; like the periodical check-up all pregnant women had to attend.

“Tony, I was at doctor’s three days ago-“

“But I upset you and stressed you big time. Don’t you think you should have another examination? Just to be sure?” he pressed, trying to make puppy eyes. Vainly – you had enough training at resisting the puppy eyes master Matt Murdock himself, Tony’s attempts were nothing compared to that.

“Tony, honestly, I just want to get the hell out of here ASAP,” you cooled him down. You were still pissed at him. A lot.

“FRIDAY! Call Doctor Cho back!”

And just like that, the poor doc who had silently disappeared during the fight had to come back and examine you again. With USG and everything. You didn’t have the strength to argue anymore and you didn’t want to make Doctor Cho’s job harder than it already was by working for Tony Stark in the first place.

You didn’t expect anything being wrong – yet, you couldn’t supress the relief washing through your body as the doctor told you both you and your baby were fine.

Also, the check-up filled the time, so you didn’t get the opportunity to pace nervously. You were getting dressed again when Matt’s voice entered the room.

“(Y/N)!” he called out and you wordlessly asked the doctor to get rid of the curtain separating your and the rest of the world. Not that it made a difference to Matt – it did to you.

“Matt, hey!” you greeted him, rising from the bed so he could see you were perfectly healthy. The impression was ruined a bit by your head spinning and the need to support yourself onto the bed, but hey, you tried.

Matt was crossing the distance between you two in rapid pace, his cane folded in his hand, his glasses covering too little of his worried expression.

“What happened? Are you okay? I mean, of course you’re not-“

“I’m okay, Matt,” you assured his softly as he threw the cane away carelessly and enclosed you in a bone-crushing hug. He nuzzled his nose in your hair, breathing in deeply. You kissed the side of his neck. “I’m fine, Matt, I swear.”

“I smell blood,” he protested, wounded by the lie. “When I heard someone else on the phone, I— I-“

You wrapped your arms around him gently, one of your hands interweaving in his hair, stroking comfortingly. He squeezed a little tighter.

“Tony is a dick. I’m so sorry he scared you. And… I’m sorry if Davidson was being an asshole about the papers-“

“Do you really think I care about some arrogant self-important asshole right now?” he asked hoarsely and you sighed, your lips caressing his skin again.

“No. But I’m still sorry.”

“ ‘kay. Noted. God, I’m glad you’re okay, sweetheart. I shouldn’t have let you-“

“Don’t even finish that thought,” you warned him, smacking his back a little. He caressed your lower back in return as an apology for trying to make a guilt trip. You knew he would be still blaming himself even when not saying it out loud, but you could work with that better. And later. In private.

“So… this is the guy who threatened to tear your limbs off, Mr. Stark?” the kid asked slowly and you bit your lip, loosening the hug just slightly in favour to glance his direction over Matt’s shoulder.

Yeah, you could see how this was confusing. After all, Matt was blind and right now looking like a cuddly teddy bear. God, you loved him for how caring and loving he was.

“This is the guy who saved me from getting mugged… potentially shot,” you whispered, feeling Matt’s body going tense at the reminder of the danger you had been in. His hand clutched at your shirt before letting go of you, turning in the direction of the young man’s voice.

“Thank you,” Matt said in earnest, extending his hand for the Spiderkid to shake. The vigilante squeaked, but lost his glove and accepted Matt’s hand.

“You’re— you’re welcome, sir. She… she was a great help actually, it was pleasure to save her, though she almost saved herself on her own-” he babbled nervously and Matt covered the back of kid’s hand with his left palm.

“I’m still grateful. And it’s Matt.”

The younger vigilante let out a surprised sound. “No prob, sir— Matt, sir.” The corners of your lips twitched. “I’m Spiderman. But you probably know that… or not. ‘cause you haven’t seen me in the news— oh god, oh frack, I’m really putting my foot in my mouth-“

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Spiderman. Thank you again for saving my wife’s life.”

The two men finally released each other’s hands and Matt immediately turned back to you as you approached him. He wrapped his arm around your waist, kissing your temple lovingly, his thumb stroking your hip.

“So…” Stark started, making you both spun in his direction involuntarily. You couldn’t help but shot him an annoyed and angry look. Matt was significantly better seeing you were okay, but make no mistake, you were still incredibly pissed.

“Mr. Stark-“

“Alright! I’m really sorry, okay? Really, really sorry. It was a dick move!” Tony admitted and you were almost surprised at him acknowledging his mistake so openly. He turned rather to Matt then. “But you don’t need to worry, Murdock, I got her checked up and both of your girls are fine.”

Your heart stopped. Matt froze in the middle of his soothing periodical motions. The room fell into silence. You were afraid to even breathe in.

Did he just… did he-

“Both— both of my girls?” Matt choked out at your side and your slow brain was still processing the information you were just given. Oh my god.

“Yeah, Cho managed to check them up both.”

“Both… my— my-- girls,” Matt stuttered and his posture shifted slightly so he could face you without stopping touching you. “We’re-“

You and Matt had never asked your doctor whether you were having a boy or a girl. You had refused to know when the doctor had offered, because you didn’t want to know before Matt would and then you had talked to Matt, learning he wouldn’t want to know either.

Well.

Hell.

You were… having a girl. You didn’t know which option you had wanted until this moment, you just knew you somehow felt you were having a boy. Apparently, you were wrong.

And it was beautiful. So beautiful you felt tears in your eyes. You were having a girl.

You gulped, reaching out to uncover Matt’s eyes, putting his glasses away before squeezing his hand on you lightly. You raised your face to his; his brown eyes were… shining with gold threads and twinkling with tears just like yours.  

You couldn’t let out a single word. It turned out you didn’t have to.

Matt’s free hand reached for your cheek, cupping it tenderly and his lips met yours in a careful light touch. And another one, And one more.

“…they didn’t know the sex and I just told them, didn’t I?” Tony’s voice sounded from an awfully huge distance and you smiled into the kisses you kept receiving, curling your fingers in Matt’s hair, returning his affection.

“I think so, Mr. Stark. I don’t think they mind too much though,” Spiderman hummed, sounding a bit amused and absolutely moved by the scene in front of him.

“Cover your eyes kid, the adults are having a moment.”  

“Cover your eyes yourself… this is way better than a movie,” the teenage vigilante mumbled and they all pretended they didn’t hear it. You just secretly decided you adored the kid.

But you could never love the kid more than your own; your own babygirl.

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M.M. masterlist

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So… this happened? Somehow? Oh no, I made it fluffy… :D

Thank you for reading!

#marvel #fanfiction #matt murdock #matt murdock imagine #matt murdock x reader #matt murdock x you #daredevil #daredevil x you #daredevil x reader #daredevil imagine #peter parker imagine #peter parker #spiderman #spiderman imagine #the troubles are lurking in queens #anika ann

[cosmiccandydreamer]

Stability Chapter 5

Otis driftwood x Reader

( I do not own these gifs)

Masterlist is here.

"Did you know that the first artist we saw was Jean-Michel Basquiat?!" You were flipping through the pamphlet from the art show you both had attended with a big smile on your face. You were so happy that Otis had agreed to do something so domestic and innocent with you. " No I didn't little lady did you learn that in your fancy city college you went to?". " I did yup''. You adjusted in your seat a bit, " It says here that their next show is in San Diego California oh wow." " Isn't that where your kin is from?" Otis asked as you both pulled off the road onto a dirt path. " Oh yeah you remember?" You smiled up at him tucking your hair behind your ear. "Have you ever missed California?" He asked turning off the truck and looking at you. " I honestly don't remember it. I've spent so much of my life here in Texas that I barely have any memories of California. The weather was nice though and the beach.". Otis scratched his face and sighed "You know I was always worried that you were going to find some educated college city boy and head back to California one day, piff hell I sometimes worry about that now." His voice got a little quieter at the end as he pulled his gun from under the seat and set it into his pants.

You put the pamphlet down and looked toward him. "Are you serious? How could you say that!?" Your voice raised a little higher than you planned but you were surprised. " Now calm down mama I didn't mean nothing" he pushed open the truck door and after grabbing the large bag of guns from the small back seat. He didn't go any further into what he just said, he wasn't good with that emotional crap. But truth be told he was scared one day this wouldn't be enough for you and that you would want to leave. He wouldn't blame you either, as much as you were a part of this family he knew what kinda family this was, it was chaotic and dysfunctional and maybe you'd want someone educated, younger and more … stable than him. You hopped out the truck after him as he held the bag and shovel.

"Otis I said what do you mean by that '' you hurried behind him struggling to keep up with his long legs. He tossed the bag of guns on the ground and began to dig, you stood there arms crossed staring at him waiting for him to speak. " God damnit woman leave the fuck alone I said I ain't mean nothing by it". " Yeah, except you don't say things just to say it. Why are you thinking that I married you !!! Doesn't that show I'm happy here with you?". He didn't answer, he just dug faster and harder into the ground. Before he could grab the bag of guns you stood in front of them. " Otis stop please I'm trying to talk to you" " just go on and wait in the truck y/n '' he replied, still not looking at you.

You walked closer to him crossing your arms even tighter. " You know what I think this is? A ploy on YOUR END, ONE TO GET RID OF ME". That stopped him in his tracks. He looked up at you all covered in dirt and sweaty, his wife beater sticking to his chest. Dammit why was he so sexy.. you're mad at him, stay strong y/n. " THE FUCK WOMAN " He threw down the shovel and stepped out of the hole he was digging. You backed up still trying to look taller and more intimidating by holding your head up. " Yeah I said it, I think it's some stupid ploy to push me away. Why I don't know I don't know what more you could want from me. I do everything for you. I wash your bloody clothes, I bring you dinner to the art studio. I help you .. you know when I can't stomach it and I've opened my mind to your….. activities. Hell, I've even begun to enjoy them. I'm your sister's best friend, mama loves me. I'm like a daughter to her, she said and Spaulding's like the father I never had. I'm a part of this family, why are you trying to ruin this' '. He said nothing he just started at you, blank eyes and nothing on his face. You threw your hands up in the air in defeat. " I love you Otis ok but I don't deserve to feel insecure I don't I … you know fuck this fuck it whatever." You turned away from him stomping back to the truck in a hurry. You were so annoyed and frustrated how you were supposed to have a stable relationship with him making things so difficult.

He stared at you for a second before heading toward you "y/n Y/N HEY I'M TALKING TO YOU FUCK GET BACK HERE, I SAID HEY GET BACK HERE". You opened the truck door when he beat you to getting inside and slammed the door shut. " Look at me, " he demanded, towering over you. You refused, crossing your arms once again and looking away, you felt your eyes sting with the onset of tears approaching. You felt his large hands touch your face and turn it to face him. You shut your eyes to try and hold back the tears that were threatening to spring from your eyes. " I'm not saying anything like that mamas alright, I fuck sometimes can't believe that someone like you could be happy with someone like me. " You opened your eyes and saw him staring at you. " You know you were all I could think about when I was at college Otis" he continued to just stare at you but you could tell he was listening intently. " I was the one that was worried that you were going to find someone closer to your age and that you were just going to see me as a little girl, I was worried that my little silly crush on my best friend's brother was just that, a fantasy. But I couldn't help but remember all the times it was you and I alone. The things we would discuss the movies we would watch the books you would ask me to read out loud." " You know you're the only person I've ever asked to do that" he said lightly stroking your cheek now.. "a lot of the shit I do with you I've never done I just never thought about it, I never thought I could be this soft but you knew how to dig those claws deep and rip out this part of me I thought was dead and buried or maybe never existed."

You smiled and felt the tears starting to emerge. " You know I already knew about half that political shit I came to ask you for help for, I just wanted your point of view and to hear your voice and watch you rant and get all passionate." You chuckled and rested your hand on his. " I had a feeling I knew you were smart as hell but I'm glad you humored me." " I love you y/n there's no way I would ever push you away, if anything I'm afraid you'll try and leave." " Try?" You chuckled a bit " yeah try you think I would let this go? Hm?" He reached round and grabbed your ass hard with his whole hand. " This ass is mine mamas forever". You smiled and wrapped your arms around his neck. " Yes sir " he lifted you up and moved you to the hood of the truck laying you down on it he unbuckled your pants quickly ripping them down, you hurried to unbuckle his pants and stick your hand into his underwear grabbing him by his shaft. " And this is mine forever." He lowered the rest of his garments and pushed your farther up the hood. He stuck a finger into your wet center, " hmmmm always so ready for me", he removed his large long finger and locked it clean as he lined himself up with your center. You nodded " always ". He pushed into you as you wrapped your legs around his waist..

"Where are you taking us, where are we going?" Roy asked looking back at Otis as the van pressed on. "Man you are not a good listener Hoss I swear I went over all this". Otis looked over toward him while still pointing the gun at Adam "Well I guess it wouldn't do no harm to tell you ..again, let's see ah, we're going to go dig up some guns I buried out here a couple of years ago. " Then what? " Roy asked, his voice shaking. "Well there ain't no what, that's the end of the road." Otis replied. "What?... you're not gonna kill us are ya?" Roy looked over at Adam. Otis scoffed "Killing sounds so permanent."

They eventually arrived at the spot Otis instructed them too, the memory of him fucking you on the hood of the truck in this location flashed through his mind. Sorry this is taking so long darlin he thought to himself. Stopping the van Roy got out first and suddenly violently vomited all over the dirt in front of them. " Damn Hoss that is disgusting. Do you puke like that in front of your wife? Does she like it when you puke? I mean is that part of your deal?" "Fuck… you" Adam spat at Otis turning around to face him."That's what they all say "Fuck you", well it ain't gonna save you. It don't scare me none and it don't suddenly make you a fucking hero".

While approaching the dig site Adam and Roy attempted to wrestle the gun from Otis to no avail. "Well we'll do well!!! I was going to take it easy on you and make it fast, but then you had to go and play the fucking hero!" Otis punched Adam over and over busting his face open in the process." I want you to see what happens to heroes…" He walked over to Roy who was clinging to life on the ground, bleeding out from his wounds. " Now Hoss I want you to pray to your god. I want you to pray that he comes and saves you. I want lightning to come and crash down upon my fucking head!" He pointed to the sky then looked down at Roy. " I will pray... Jesus…" sputtered Roy " Louder!" "Bless the bunnies, bless the little birds, bless the… " yelled Roy"I don't feel anything!" Otis screamed "Bless the springtime morning…" Roy said his voice fading out. Otis began to pretend to be struck by an unknown force and look to the heavens " ooo aaah I feel it! Oh great god almighty I repent, I repent! Oh I feel the love of the god, god, god almighty! Oh the holy spirit is in my body."

Finally losing patience with the situation he stands above Roy pushing his long silver hair from his face. " You want to know who I am? I am the devil.. and I'm here to do the devil's work" he took out his large hunting knife and stabbed Roy in the heart.

#otis driftwood #house of 1000 corpses #three from hell #otis driftwood x reader #otis firefly #thedevilsrejects #the devils rejects

[himbeaux-on-ice]

Can I just say that Habs “fans” who act like Carey Price’s contract is somehow patient zero of all this team’s problems drive me absolutely fucking insane? Seriously. Buckle up. This is about to be a rant.

Now. First things first. Is it ideal that the $10 million goalie is currently uh, not doing very good? Fucking NO! I am disappointed as shit with that and I don’t like seeing him struggle. I know he can be better. He has to be better. Obviously.

However. That being said.

Do I think it’s an incredibly stupid look to spend several tweets complaining about all the issues Habs defence have been having, and then also griping that they haven’t started Jake Allen enough for how he’s performing, only to then for some inexplicable reason state that the FIRST THING, the first thing that needs to be dealt with after the new coaching staff have had ONE GAME (and zero practices) to work on things, is somehow “well, the ten million dollar man in net is weighing them down, that contract has gotta go!”?

Yes! That’s stupid!!

I think that’s a very ice cold small-brain take, and not just because Price is my favourite of favourites for as long as I’ve been a hockey fan! I have reasons, dammit!! I put THOUGHT into this!!

Here, dear ppl of Habs twitter who will never read this, are some reasons why this narrative you’re concocting is dumb, and why management/coaching are unlikely to think of trying to ditch Price mid-season to fix the current problems:

1: Time. It has been one (1) game under Ducharme. He has been able to run zero (0) full practices on off days with the team. We just changed up a major piece on the Habs chess board — why don’t you give it a minute to see what fresh eyes and minds can do with this roster before you decide we are fucked? This season is fast-moving, sure, but there is time for us to ride out some little bumps here and still make a playoff spot in this Canadian division. Have patience. Do you remember what patience is? Dom is a new head coach, not a wish-granting fairy godmother. Chill. Do you remember chill?

(rest of this under a cut because I actually LIKE Habs Tumblr, and I want to be nice to you all by not making you scroll past all of it if you don’t want to)

2: Jake Allen exists. There are a couple of things I like for what this means for the Habs. Firstly, for basically the first time in his NHL career, we are not in a situation where if Carey Price is in a slump, we have to go “Ah, shit, so now our options are let his stats tank while he tries to get the groove back in net, OR throw whoever the poor backup is out there to get murdered while we plummet through the standings.... 😬” We don’t have that problem right now, because the backup is... actually good? Oh my god, the backup is actually good! Thank fuck! We’re not doomed. If I’m Ducharme, I put Allen in net for a few consecutive starts to put a solid backstop behind all my fun experiments I’m probably planning with the skating roster (to catch their slip-ups, while also giving Carey lots of time and rest with which to work hard on sorting out whatever his issue is along with the goalie coaches).

2b: Jake Allen exists and is competition. Hell, if I’m Ducharme, maybe I even play a little hardball and say “Look, Carey, I don’t want you to be an expensive benchwarmer, but if things don’t pick up soon I am going to start whoever is doing best and you will have to compete for that net.” Related to my last point, when was the last time Carey Price had to push himself to compete for net time against anything other than his own injuries, and wasn’t simply always the default starter? Has that EVER been a thing? Honestly as much as I love the idea of him being The Goalie for the Habs, I also kinda like this idea a lot because I think it could really push him to a higher standard of performance. Maybe that kind of high-pressure situation (given how much he thrives in the pressure-cooker of the playoffs) could be what he NEEDS in order to Be Carey Price again. Worst comes to worst, he doesn’t respond to that challenge, and I am very sad but the Habs have a good goalie in net anyway, because Hallelujah, Jake Allen exists! God, isn’t it nice to have Jake Allen? Bless him.

3: Money. Guys, this league is so broke right now. Seriously. Seriously. Nobody has any fucking money. The Habs probably have more money than most teams, and that does not help when it comes to offloading large contracts. Trades are a NIGHTMARE both because of the flat cap but also because travel is complicated (especially cross-border) but also nobody wants to trade within their division if possible because all your games are against them. Who in the name of fuck do you think is jumping at the idea of taking the $10 million per through 20-lots-and-lots-of-years-from-now contract of a goalie who is currently struggling, impressive past record aside? What kind of astral plane of fantasy hockey are you on to think there’s a trade out there for that within this season. Shut up. And no, don’t bring up the expansion draft, this post is a rebuttal SPECIFICALLY to the people who think that Price and his contract are the biggest problem that needs to be dealt with RIGHT NOW and first on the list of ways to immediately remedy the team’s struggles.

4: Spite. Specifically to piss you off, bud. You personally.

5: Knowing how to troubleshoot properly. Fellas, if my computer is running slowly and freezing up a lot, do I immediately decide the first step to fixing it is to crack open the chassis, remove the hard drive, and try to sell that hard drive to someone to see if I can enough money back to somehow get a better hard drive for less? No, dipshit. That’s not how troubleshooting a complex system works works. It’s the same with hockey teams. Ah, my star goalie is not performing great. This situation is deeply less than ideal. If you’re actually good at troubleshooting, the first thing you do is not “WELL. I GUESS WE’LL HAVE TO THROW THE WHOLE GOALIE OUT. HE’S TOAST.” The first thing you do, if you’re a smart coach, is you say “Okay, what are my defence doing in front of him? What are they doing to reduce the amount and quality of our opponents’ scoring chances? Oh. Oh, they’re taking a lot of penalties, and... oh, uh, some of this is very not great. Yikes.” And then you start your work by trying to make the defence actually work instead of running the same Pairs That Everyone Is Very Much Over And Tired Of, because your goalie is actually supposed to be your Last Line of Defence. And maybe during that time you give more starts to Goalie Who Is Absolutely Slaying It, so that when you start trying new D-pairs and they inevitably have some mistakes, it doesn’t immediately turn into an Oh God Holy Fuck moment every time, because that last line of defence backstopping them is solid. The reason you need to deal with defense first is because a) You know you have a reliable goalie (Allen) in your pocket right now if you need him. What you don’t have is a whole-ass proven and tested and practiced Backup D-Core you can swap into the roster in front of your goalies to make their lives easier. Fix your defense and it WILL improve your goalies, even marginally. Defrag the hard drive before you ask why it’s not working. and b) If you need to go looking for any new D-men to solve the issues, those are WAY easier and cheaper to find than top-tier goalies, and you always want to start any troubleshooting process with trying the simplest solutions first to hopefully save time and money. The better that D-core is, the less it fucks your team over if the goalie isn’t feeling themselves, because the D is going to stop more of those pucks before they ever even become the goalie’s problem. FIX. DEFENCE. FIRST. Then try to train your goalie back into top form. THEN explore your other options.

6: The vicious cycle. Guys. We literally do this once every year or second year. EVERY time Carey Price has a slump, this fanbase gets into a tizzy like the Bell Centre is burning down and he was the one with the matches. And what ALWAYS happens literally within the year, every single time? He gets his mojo back like he did last summer in the bubble and goes on a heater and everybody goes “JESUS PRICE!!!! 🙌” and is ready to name their firstborn kid after him. Until eventually that performance becomes unsustainable, and he becomes mortal again, and suddenly he’s The Real Problem With This Franchise once again. I know he’s the guy they chose to build the team around instead of a superstar forward, but oh my god folks. You’d think he was the only player on the team. Guys, I feel like fucking Sisyphus pushing a blue blanc et rouge boulder up Mont Royal once a year with this shit. This man’s entire career has been a constant seesaw narrative between “Carey Price is our saviour!” and “Carey Price should be exiled to Nome!!!!” from parts of this fanbase, I swear. Look, slumps suck, but for once we are actually lucky enough to be in a position where this team, for the first time in YEARS, does not solelylive or die by the inscrutable magical cycles of Carey Price’s goalie powers — because when he has to step back and work to get back into his groove, there is FINALLY a SECOND GUY who is GREAT. Honestly, given that the state of this team for so long has been “they will go as far as Carey Price can take them” and he has put in a pretty fucking decent job of it despite all of the team’s other struggles, I feel like it is owed it to the guy to be like “Okay, well, we have somebody else solid to fill the net right now, and a chance to really figure out our defence and special teams with this new coach. Why don’t you take a step back and work your ass off at trying to get back into the form I know you can still perform at, and we’ll go from there?”

Anyway. Some parts of this fanbase have been waiting for a fresh excuse to claim Price is overrated, washed-up, and to blame for all of this team’s flaws and ills ever since he signed that contract, if not since the start of his NHL career. Just unreal how nasty some of this fanbase is willing to be about a player who is ON. YOUR. TEAM.

Am I saying he is beyond critique of his play and can do no wrong and his contract is perfect? No! I want this team to have the best goaltending it can get, and I want them to kick ass and take names. The difference is, I still believe Carey Price is a part of that winning formula, and I also think Twitter is overflowing with idiots who just repeat what everybody else says. He’s still a better goalie than your ass would be if I stuck you out there to stop shots from Mark Schieffle, for crap’s sake.

“The first thing that has to go is Carey Price’s contract 🤪”. Shut the fuck up. You are actively making other people stupider by talking. Go eat sand. Good day.

#It’s Time For My Opinion #I put so much time into this I hope it’s coherent lol #habs #Carey price #montreal canadiens #long post

[quillquiver]

Happy birthday, Dean! This is pure fluff and I do not apologize.

Dean never thought he’d live long enough to hate getting old, but he has, and he does, and it freaking blows. Forty-one. How the hell did he make it forty-one? Why did he make it to forty-one? His knees creak and his back aches and he’d like to get off this ride now, thanks, because if he can’t eat seven grilled cheeses and parkour after a shifter then what’s the friggin’ point?

Forty-one. Jesus. 

Dean doesn’t want to get out of bed. He doesn’t want to get up. He wants to sink into the memory foam and be twenty-five again. 

“Dean, I know you’re awake.”

Dammit.

Cas sits on the edge of the bed, and from the weird tinkling and sloshing noises Dean can tell that he’s been brought breakfast (burnt toast with peanut butter) and that his coffee has spilled all over the tray. Despite the piss-poor meal and sub-par delivery, Dean has to actively stop himself from smiling. He groans and buries his face in his pillow.

“M’asleep.”

“You’re forty-one, you’re not dying.”

Dean glares with his only currently visible eye, and Cas gives him a shit-eating grin, the thing soft and sweet around its edges. Dean is totally weak for it. For him. He loves the motherfucker half to death.

“Happy birthday,” Cas says, like they have something to celebrate other than Dean’s sagging ballsack and soon-to-be arthritic hands. 

“Ugh,” Dean mutters.

“I think you’ll look very distinguished with grey hair.”

“Ugh,” Dean mutters.

“I love you.”

“Ugh,” Dean mutters, though it’s impossible to curb his smile, now. The thing only widens when Cas moves to kiss him, which renders the entire gesture impossible and therefore moot, but it’s hard to be upset when Cas is rubbing their cheeks together and telling him how sexy he is and how much he adores him. 

It takes a whole hour of making out and being lazy in bed for Dean to finally pull away with a grumbling stomach and reach for his breakfast, to which Cas blushes despite himself and says: “It’s a little burnt.”

That’s the understatement of the century; the thing’s a full-on slice of premium carbon, but Dean eats it with a smile on his face, and drinks his cold coffee, and then spends the day watching Dr. Sexy in his pjs with his brother and his angel. They order in, Cas and Sam proudly present him with a lopsided but surprisingly tasty pie, and Dean gets presents in the form of clothing and a bunch of useful shit for Baby.

...And when he and Cas are cuddled together post-birthday-fuck, playing with each other’s fingers and tracing patterns onto bare skin, Cas makes a show of suddenly remembering something and gets a small box from his trenchcoat. “Here,” he says, tossing the thing onto the bed.

It’s a ring.

“I, ah, had part of my angel blade melted down,” Cas says nervously, rubbing the back of his neck in the dim. “And obviously this is a gift that you needn’t accept, and I don’t mean to upstage your birthday but, um---oh, I should kneel---”

He starts to get down on one knee, still totally naked, and the whole thing is just so... absurd and sweet and completely Cas that Dean gets tangled in the sheets in his haste to get off the damn bed. “Jesus, don’t---Cas, don’t do that. Don’t---C’mere---”

Cas freezes, eyes wide as all the blood drains from his face. “Oh. Um, I---”

“Castiel, you moron, get the hell up here!”

He comes hesitantly, practically squeaking when Dean yanks him into a hard kiss, which he then barely returns. “Wants to marry me, fuckin’ hey...” Dean pulls away with a smile big enough to break his own face before surging forward to kiss Cas again; once, twice, three times. “I love you.”

Cas gives a tentative smile. “You’re... yes? You’re saying yes?”

“What? Yes! Of course I’m saying yes! Have you met me?”

The pinch between his brows and the righteously indignant twitch of his mouth means Cas is gearing up for a serious rant, so Dean cuts him off with another kiss before he can get started---something about mixed signals and being an ass and scaring him blahblahblah.

“Okay,” Dean says, pulling away and clutching tight to the little box. “I’m sorry okay, I’m sorry, but can you just...? I mean, would you...?”

Cas gives him one of those huge, gummy smiles and slips the ring on Dean’s finger. The wrong one, but hey, what the hell does it matter; Dean is legally dead and Cas doesn’t technically exist. 

Holy shit.

“You just blew every birthday I’ll ever have outta the water, man.” Dean can’t stop looking at him, his joy, like, palpable at this point--- “God, I wish I didn’t have a geriatric dick so we could fuck again.”

Cas snorts and rolls his eyes, still grinning as he slides across the mattress to kiss Dean thoroughly. “I like your geriatric dick,” he says quietly, seriously. 

Dean’s so happy he honestly doesn’t know what to do with himself. “It likes you, too,” he says nonsensically, because literally the only thing that matters right now is the way they’re kissing and holding hands and together. 

And fine, yeah, Dean never thought he’d live long enough to hate getting old---and sometimes he does! But... staring down the next however-many-years with Cas? 

What’s not to love about that?

#happy birthday dean winchester #I am 14 mins late BUT I DID IT #fluff #marriage proposal #this got wayyyyy out of hand #destiel fluff #destiel fic #adventures in fanfic

[shinymooncolor]

@siriuslyqueer gave us goalies, pining and angst. @wxlfstxrx some much needed fluff. So I thought we’d do a bromance hat trick with a little sweater weather chat. Love ya all 🏒❣️

@lumosinlove created a well of wonderful oc’s and they’re all my new mvp’s. 🥰

Sweater weather chats #3

Nado is fuckboy extraordinaire. Kuny is mad. Olli is so done. Logan does not have a curfew. Or does he? Dumo grounds Nado. Walker worships Noelle. Remus chokes on his tea. Kasey ruins zucchinis for Dumo. Does cars have names? There’s a ritual burning. Everyone is up early on a Sunday.

——

Sunday 3.44 am

7 missed calls from Nado.

Nado:

kuny please pick up

I’m sorry. Fuck I messed up okay.

I’m so sorry okay. Fuck just call me back.

Wtf you took my Porsche? Over the line man.

Fuck you told Sergei. His wife just cAlled and yelled. She’s terrifying. I’m sorry

Kuny please come home.

Sorry.

Please

Kuny

Kuny

Evgeni. Please I’m sorry okay

You’re my best fucking friend and you’re supposed to forgive me. I’m an idiot. Just come home. I’m not gonna stop texting. I will fucking not let you walk out on me man.

I said I was sorry. Please man. Sorry.

Please.

I’ll join some freakin cult and become a monk if it gets you to talk to me.

—-

Sunday 7.23 am

Nadotheman: guys has anyone heard from kuny yesterday or today? Please I need to speak to him

Sergei_81: give him some time. you did something bad and he’s mad. He will come home when he is ready

Nadotheman: he’s got my Porsche. Is he with you? Can I come over

Sergei_81: he’s not here. We got family visit. No time for your stupid fights

Prongstar: what did you do Nado? Ate his mom’s homemade cake again? Or did you forget to water his aloe Vera plant?

Ollibear: he’s here. Don’t call him.

Siriusly: what happened?

CarbO’Hara: Broke the fuckign code @nadotheman not cool

Prongstar: WHAT DID HE DO? @russiangod also how does finno know?

Ollibear: please stop texting him. I’m worried he might snap the remote or my PlayStation

LoganTremblayzzz: @nadotheman hope you got insurance. 911 turbo not looking good. Hahahaha

Prongstar: what. Happened?

Ollibear: he turned up here at 4 am, scaring the shit out of mrs. Williams next door. Woke up when she screamed. Apparently 6.4” Russian guy in a black hoodie is not what you expect to bang on your door at that hour. He’s been fuming in Russian ever since. And he ate all our Doritos. Stole nado’s Porsche. We gathered he’s mad at Nado but not sure why. Got him to at least talk to Sergei

Sergei_81: he’s got good reason to be mad. Nado can tell you what he did.

Timmyforrealz: what does this mean: он спал с моим двоюродным братом @sunnysideup @sergei_81

Sunnysideup: what?? Oh nado. This is bad.

Prongstar: I used google translate. @nadotheman you slept with his sister?!

Siriusly: !!!

Talkiewalkie: over the line bro. Damn.

Sunnysideup: wait he doesn’t have a sister? Does he?

Sergei_81: yes he means cousin.

DamnFoxy: wow. This is lowkey funny. Sorry but I’m laughing

Prongstar: spit my tea out

RussianGod left the conversation

Nadotheman: fuck look what you idiots did.

Siriusly: you did his cousin.

DamnFoxy: 😂😂😂

Talkiewalkie: uh not cool bro. Like. Fuck.

Timmyforrealz: you talkin about fucking sisters? Aren’t you putting the moves on Logan’s sister?

LoganTremblayzzz: @timmyforrealz 🤦🏽🙅🏼🙍🏾👎🏻🖕🏻

Talkiewalkie: I’m dating noelle. Not putting moves on her. I’m worshipping the very ground she walks on. She’s a goddess and I’m but a mortal man

Kaneyoudigit: can you just keep it in your pants for once, Nado…. jeez

Eliascookie: HAHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHHHH. You’re never meeting my sister. Ever. Damn.

Newt-leo: shut up this isn’t about noelle. Nado wtf? Didn’t wanna believe Finn and lo. He’s texted finn but in Russian. Think it was meant for sergei. Did you really sleep with his cousin?

Krisvolley: wow. Anyone checking up on Kuny? Shit. Can’t leave the two of you alone.

LeWilliam: yeah, is Kuny alright @ollibear? Also, @nadotheman - you freaked when he kissed that waitress. Karma is a fuckin bitch 😏

Nadotheman: fuck off cubs.

EvanderBell: oi. No need to be mad at us. You messed up. You deserve this. Also if he totals Dolores it’s totally on you!

Nado the man: shut up. Everyone. I know I screwed up okay? Fucking hell. They look nothing alike and she didn’t tell me.

Sunnysideup: didn’t you meet her through kuny?

Nado the man: well yea. went out for a drink. Kuny was being boring and went home. Talked to her and we got along and well.

Bradygunz: did you at least pay for her drink? Also uncool bro

Nado the man: I paid. Fuck off.

Dumodad: I’m away for 1 day. 1 day boys. @nadotheman do I have to ground you? Adele is serving 2 weeks for lying about her homework and having a boy in her rooM after curfew.

Prongstar: dropped the ball with Logan then @dumodad, eh?

Sergei_81: I support grounding Nado.

LoganTremblayzzz: @prongstar like lily didn’t ground you when you came home sans shirt and with kasey’s jeans on backwards Also I never had girls in my room after curfew. Also don’t have curfew.

Dumodad: yes you did. Curfew at least.

Blizzard: holy fuck. Just woke from a nap. Wtf? Also @prongstar, @logantremblayzzz never had GIRLS in his room. Just had Leo and finn. Playing hide the zucchini.

Siriusly: @blizzard. Loops just choked on his tea.

Dumodad: I can never eat a zucchini again. Merde

BliZzard: just keeping it real boys. Also don’t be hard on @nadotheman he’s a man whore. One day he’ll grow up

Nadotheman: I’m older kasey and shut up

Ollibear: Nado you really have to apologize.

Timmyforrealz: @nadotheman this is serious. Olli just ate a box of moomin cookies. Nado please fix your relationship. Olli can’t handle his parents fighting. He’s legit green looking. He’s eating junk food. I’m scared.

Nadotheman: Olli tell them you were there. She came on to me. She never mentioned Kuny

Ollibear: I’m not getting involved. Also you owe me $432 for the champagne. And he introduced you before he left.

Prongstar: 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Dumodad: @nadotheman you’re grounded. No clubbing or I will call your mom.

———

Sunday 7.56 am

Nado: Olli please is he with you guys? I need to speak to him.

Olli: I’m sorry he doesn’t wanna see you. Please give him some time.

Nado: 💔

—

Sunday 8.02 am

Nado: I’m not gonna leave. I’m parked outside and you’ve got to call the cops to get me to leave. You’re my best friend dammit and I’m sorry. Fuck please just talk to me!

Kuny: don’t want talk. Is hard. I’m smart in Russian. English stupid.

Nado: wait then get Olli or Timmy to type it. Just tell me how I can make it up to you.

Kuny: hi Nado. Olli here, I’m typing for him. Timmy is trying to salvage our remote.

I’m trying to type and understand ok? Kuny knows his cousin is (I’m paraphrasing here - I refuse to call a woman that) sociable and he’s mostly upset cause he’s worried about you. Okay he didn’t mean that - he means that he’s upset you slept with her but he’s also worried cause he says you fall in love too quickly. (You two are idiots - he’s trying to protect your feelings) he does not want me to type that. But he broke our remote. But he’s also mad you slept with her after he said not to. And he claims he did tell you. How much did you two drink? When I picked up the tab you’d only had a few bottles of champagne and you gave most of that to the hen party in the next booth. Also he’s mad you had sex - god, Nado - the living room, really? At least go into your bedroom. Apparently you had a deal you wouldn’t do that. Wow you need some self control buddy. Okay. Now he’s saying that he’s okay to talk to you. So you can come in. You better have showered!!!!

—-

Sunday, 8.27 am.

KrisVolley: @ollibear, what’s going on?

Ollibear: they’re fucking idiots. Stupid overgrown manbabies.

Timmyforrealz: well. Olli cursing is hilarious. It’s like Casper the friendly ghost saying fuck... 😂 Quite anti-climactic. Was anticipating a fist fight or at least a black eye. They just talked and @nadotheman cried. Ha. Long clingy chat short; Kuny was afraid his cousin was just using Nado - like he’d ever object? Nado admitted he was drunk and upset with Kuny over something else (they’re like my teenage twinsisters I swear) also Kuny was mad Nado fucked his cousin on the couch. So not classy @nadotheman... Jesus this soap opera is like the episode of friends where chandler is in a box.

Sergei_81: they ok?

Nadotheman added RussianGod to the chat

RussianGod: we good. But he has to do embarrassing thing now. I chose. Will think long before decide. Also he buy new couch

Prongstar: Kuny my dear friend - I will happily help think up evil revenge. Also burn the couch

Nadotheman: I didn’t fucking cry. He stinks. My eyes watered from the stench.

Blizzard: aw Nado its okay. We know you’re in an established bro-tionship.

Talkie-walkie: am I the only one worried about the Porsche? She does not deserve to suffer just because Nado is a slut.

RussianGod: dolores is fine. Love car too much. Only wanted to scare Jackie.

Nadotheman: stop calling me that kun(t)y. 😘

Ollibear: ffs you two just made up, just kiss and get the fuck out. I’m done being your therapist. Good night.

Timmyforrealz: they broke olli. He even kicked a chair and hurt his toe. Haha he’s cursing in Finnish. He also has hidden nado’s car keys. Dolores is ours now.

——

They did a ritual burning of the couch. Dumo did call Nado’s mother. She grounded him and gave Kuny a bunch of embarrassing photos of teenage Nado. We’re talking frosted tips and platform shoes.

#lumosinlove #sweaterweatherchats #sweaterweather #sweaterweatherchatsnr3 #hattrick #bromance

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 328: Pandora’s Box of Discourse

Previously on BnHA: DEKU TOOK A BATH.

Today on BnHA: 

Also Naomasa grew a beard. Goddamn. 

please let this be a cool chapter that plays nice with my ADHD lol

(ETA: lol I feel guilty because a lot of people hated this chapter, but I’m just happy there was a lot of stuff to make fun of, and also that I have another week to work on my backlog of meta posts since the kids were MIA.)

around one month ago?? ah, okay, so we’re gonna find out what was in that Tartarus security file huh

I love that they just randomly set the place on fire

was it necessary to do this in order to escape? no. was it a good idea to set the island they were occupying on fire while they were in the midst of still occupying it? uh. was it cinematic as fuck? fuck yeah

wow it’s a pervert!!

that’s so great that the villains set loose this fine fellow who I’m sure is definitely not a serial rapist. truly the LoV is so noble and misunderstood. they’re just trying to free society from its chains people

oh my god??!

SHANKED!!! oh my god I cheered for Stain before I realized what I was doing. time to have an identity crisis I guess

so he’s all “hey what’s going on.” which, while a respectable question, is something I personally would have waited to ask until I had put a bit of distance between myself and the fiery murder island. but that’s just my personal preference

Stain you really are tenacious I’ll give you that

“what’s the point of escaping prison if you’re not gonna be smart about it” well shit. anyways yeah you’re dead right, society is in the process of collapsing and the outside world is in total chaos, good call there

oh shit

I mean it’s not like we really expecting anything otherwise, but still. fucking brutal. I feel like these guys’ fates were decided the minute that one guy called AFO “scum” back in chapter 94. AFO is unmatched at getting long-term revenge

??

ahh, was it the security footage??

fdsdfk he’s still alive??

and he’s immediately launching into an inappropriately theatrical monologue even as the darkness closes in on him fdlfksjdlk. you know, was it ever confirmed that the other guy back in chapter 297 was Seiji’s dad? I’m just saying

very impressed that he’s still coherent enough to weigh the pros and cons before making the decision to gamble on giving this info to Stain, who at the very least has his own moral code and isn’t allied with AFO. it was definitely still a risk, but as we now know it was also the right call

what a weird alliance. so Stain tells him that he’ll give it to a just person, and the guy is all,

okay for real though I’m gonna need someone to run a DNA test on this guy. maybe it was some kind of cuckold situation?? the other guy had the family resemblance, but this guy absolutely 100% raised Shishikura Seiji and you are not going to convince me otherwise

anyway, so Stain is all,

PRISON GUARD: “???? ??????? what the hell. what the fuck does that fucking mean. I’m dying here, jesus christ, whatever man fuck you”

(ETA: I kind of feel like this might have been Stain’s last appearance in the manga, given all the fanfare. there’s not really much else he can do for the story at this point, and he seems to have gotten all the character development Horikoshi was planning on giving him. so if this really is it, hasta la vista and good riddance I guess.)

DWLFDKSLDK MEANWHILE, OUTSIDE

(ETA: I feel like this is meant to be evocative of that Sermon on the Mount painting, but in a really fucked up way lol.)

if it were me stumbling upon this scene I would just shake my head and walk right back into the flaming building. not getting involved in that mess. sorry not sorry. I’ll take my chances with the fire, especially given that it’s half-assed neutered BnHA fire lol

blah blah blah and so he decided to pass the info on to All Might -- HOT DAMN, HOLY SHIT

NAOMASA HOLY SHIT. THE APOCALYPSE LOOKS GOOD ON YOU, BOY

“I really like that facial scruff thing Aizawa’s got going on, I think I’m gonna get in on that” yes sir. “also thinking of ditching the tie in favor of the bulletproof vest look. also thinking of getting totally fucking jacked.” good lord. except I’m pretty sure that’s just body armor, but also I don’t care. anyway I should probably stop staring and actually read the fucking speech bubbles here lol

“All Might first handed this information over to Nao, and then went to see Deku, and then came back to Nao” thanks for that tidy little summary Horikoshi. we are capable of piecing events together in sequential order, I just want you to know that. but thank you

“so has Deku finally gotten a bath? also, sucks that Stain saved the day, but what are you gonna do” Nao I missed you so fucking much and didn’t even realize. how am I just now realizing that you are the perfect man

for a second I was gonna ask why Tartarus’s security systems would be cut off from the outside world, and then I remembered that’s a basic security control, and then I actually got impressed by how sensible that is. like, it’s been a while since I could genuinely say that the good guys (excluding class 1-A) did something smart. not that it helped them much in the end, but still

anyway so they’re talking about how AFO was able to coordinate the attack by communicating between his horcrux self on the outside and his ugly peanut-faced self on the inside

huh

okay you have my attention. I am taking notes here lol please continue

ah okay so he says that prior to Jakku, the transfer of information between him and his Vestige self was only one-way. but post-Jakku when Deku was in the hospital, he was able to tell what was happening inside the OFA Radical Lisa Frank Dead People Book Club Realm when he touched him. I feel like we established that before, actually. but he didn’t talk about how it actually felt, though

boy we already know this lol. yes AFO can talk with his horcrux self. and he can also communicate with his little bro in OFA too, let’s talk about that sometime why don’t we. what exactly does that imply, based on the rules we’ve established here

my god I cannot get over Naomasa and his fucking facial hair

no wonder All Might was in such a hurry to leave Deku and get back here

like I have no idea what this radio waves nonsense is but my god, people

that jawline. also so it’s a quirk, I see. except last I checked Deku didn’t have a radio waves quirk, so that doesn’t really explain his connection to AFO. but whatever, hopefully we’re at least getting closer to some kind of reveal here

(ETA: since I sometimes forget that other people’s lives don’t revolve around my theory posts, here are the two relevant links if you by chance want to know my thoughts about this.

Hagakure is still The U.A. Traitor™ regardless of whether Deku is passing information on to AFO through his psychic link, which he almost certainly is.

speaking of said psychic link, Deku is a horcrux.

just posting these now, because whenever trippy OFA stuff happens I tend to get an influx of theory asks. so hopefully this will be a bit of a time saver lol.)

-- wait, what

THAT’S what the recording was??!? holy SHIT. I genuinely was not expecting that. y’all wiretapped his fucking telepathy. fucking quirks, man. wild

AND THEY USED THAT POWER TO DETERMINE WHAT WE ALREADY KNEW, HUZZAH. GOOD SHOW

-- oh shit wait lol, except I forgot we’re not talking about 38 days from the present, we’re talking about 38 days from the date the conversation was recorded. heh. um

yeah that’s the face I would make too if All Fucking Might just casually told me we had eight days left until the end times

oh, pardon me. three fucking days

r.i.p. anyone who thought we were going to have another band arc sob. I sure hope Deku is enjoying that nap

(ETA: I realize people were hoping for a longer rest period here, but given that the man warned us all the way back in chapter 306 that we were entering the final act, you can’t really blame him too much when that turns out to be true. anyway but I do recognize that we’ve reached the point in the story where this kind of discourse is going to become a weekly occurrence, simply because there’s no possible way for Horikoshi’s actual endgame to line up perfectly with the variable headcanons of millions of fans, all of whom have wildly differing and in many cases contradictory expectations which can’t possibly all be fulfilled. anyway, so I’m already bracing myself for that lol. this coming year is going to be a wild ride.)

damn, U.A. out here looking like the motherfucking United Nations

-- is this U.A.?? I actually just realized, U.A. is four interconnected buildings, not two. wait holy shit is this Shiketsu?

wait holy SHIT

based on the overwhelmingly powerful vibes of bureaucratic incompetence, I’m thinking this really is the (future) U.N., or whatever organization it is that deals with international hero stuff

“just let them handle it themselves I’m sure they’ll be fine” yeah okay, thanks guys. appreciate it

wait oh shit did he say that it’s not just Japan?

soooo, what you’re telling me is that AFO is this close to bringing about the end of not just Japan, but the entire world, and you guys don’t think it’s a good idea to help the Japanese heroes stop him? so, genuine follow-up question: are you guys already planning your rich people exodus into space a la Wall-E, and that’s why you don’t give a fuck?? like, what??

omg international heroes

these guys are from World Hoodie Mission, right? is this Horikoshi’s way of reminding me to buy tickets

(ETA: and it worked too lol.)

WHO??? WHAT???

don’t tell me you’re introducing yet another badass new female character for me to fall in love with only to watch as you dismember them and/or blow them up, Horikoshi. I’m getting tired of playing this game my dude. don’t lie and tell me this time will be different. we’re not doing this again goddammit

noooooooooooooooooooo

god fucking dammit lmao. [sighs and rips the previous paragraph into shreds]

on behalf of Americans I apologize for our superheroes always being Like This

I also apologize because I love her already and I’m gonna be shameless about it. so fucking shameless you guys

is her fucking hair red white and blue. it is, isn’t it

this is the volume cliffhanger, 100% lol. it will take every ounce of Horikoshi’s willpower not to put her on the volume cover. he’ll have to settle for the spine or the inner cover this time because Deku VS his class 1-a superpals takes precedence. but it will be a close thing let me tell you

tbh it’s that smile that does it for me. she’s definitely All Might’s protege. get out there and show them how it’s done girl. and maybe call Salaam and BRD and see if you can’t convince them to play hooky from their governments as well. why not. world’s ending in three days you guys. “sorry, I’m busy this weekend” ain’t gonna cut it lol

so while I am not fully caught up with Vigilantes, I have read far enough to know that there’s an American hero named Captain Celebrity whose superpower from what I recall is being a humongous douchebag. and while I haven’t read far enough to know what happens to this guy, I can’t say I’m very disappointed to learn that he’s no longer the number one hero in the U.S. (actually, didn’t they kick him out and that’s why he moved to Japan to begin with?). anyway, so my thanks to Horikoshi for having a marginally higher opinion of Americans than Furuhashi, even though we have definitely not done anything to warrant said opinion lately, and you may have inadvertently opened the door to a pandora’s box of discourse lmao

(ETA: lol I went into the tags and they don’t disappoint. “why is she dressed like a flag” because she’s an homage to Captain America and Major Victory and literally every other character on this list. again, I apologize for fictional American superheroes being Like This. “oh boy another thicc waifu to make the fanboys happy” look, tumblr fandom never seems to have a problem thirsting over Dabi or Tomura or Aizawa or Nao, lol, I’m just saying. “where is Captain Celebrity” idk, probably murdered by the exploding bee cartel, let’s just be grateful for our good fortune and try not to Beetlejuice the man.)

anyway, so let’s see if Horikoshi’s recent character development with regards to making Mineta not terrible anymore will apply to other aspects of his writing as well. I know I was making light of discourse just now, but I do think the complaints about him introducing yet another new character at the 11th hour to be cannon fodder in the final battle are absolutely valid. and again, it wouldn’t be a problem if he didn’t keep maiming/killing off his female characters one by one instead of developing them and letting them kick ass long-term. but that said, I will never complain about Horikoshi adding another female character to the series, regardless of how clumsy the attempt may be. go ahead and pander away, just give us more girl power lol

anyway so we’ll see how it goes, but I think I’m gonna be optimistic and let myself hope once again, even though I’m probably gonna regret it lol. it is what it is. she is standing on an airplane just chilling for fuck’s sake. I’m only human. anyway fingers crossed

#bnha 328 #stain (bnha) #tsukauchi naomasa #all might #stars and stripes (bnha) #all for one #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha #eta: how did I forget to type 'bnha' in the title sob

[nano--raptor]

Ok here we go. Watching EP 3 and I've decided to write down my reactions as we go. Sorry if this makes no sense.... 😅

First of all. Fuck you Walker. Cursing and swearing and punching a guy right away. Do you know who I am. Cocky son of a bitch. You disgrace the name of Captain America.

Bucky's angry murder walk🔥

Also when he talks low and quiet like that... Oof.

Nice try Zemo. Although it did give me shivers. The music!!

It was never personal 🥺

Wow

Bucky what did you do

I can see why Sam's uneasy about this

"NO".

Zemo seems... Agreeable. I'm not sure if I trust him.

Buckys murder glare again ooof

Hmm ok I kinda like Zemo actually???

ROYALTY. What😳

BUCKY WITH SUNGLASSES

It's good to have you back sir.  !!

Chills. The hand on his throat and the growl and the way Zemo backs down 👏👏

Don't push it.

The whole airplane scene in general. Oh my god. So good

YES

He's not wrong. Like. Tell me he's wrong.

Bucky’s deep scratchy voice again, tell me I'm not alone 🥵

No no no no no no no no

Omfg

I can't 🥺

*refills drink*

Karli is so pretty though. I love her hair

Um SAM'S SUIT holy shit

Bunch a bros just going for a car ride

With winter soldier kinda eerie music

Uh guys...

Oof if I met either if them in this environment 🔥🔥

Can we just talk about the videography

Winter soldier🥺🥺

Ok but sam looks like such a badass

Nice work

Bucky you need to look more.... Mmmmph

OG FUCJ OH FUCK

Jesus fuck

I might need clean panties after that

People were recording though uh oh is he gonna get in trouble?

*watches that scene two more times* fuck I love it. Maybe too much😏

Oh fucking hell

Buck you're doing a good job, jesus. No reaction at all. That murder glare I fucking love it

I'm scared

Oh no the phone call

Our boy will figure out a way

*Sarah uses his name* I knew it ahhhhhh

Oh no oh no oh no oh my god oh no

I can't run in these heels 😂

Sharon. I didn't care for her before tbh but she's kind of a badass and I like her already

So who actually shot Selby

Damn just Sam getting schooled, by Bucky even? About artwork? 👌

OOOF shirtless Sam THANK YOU

Hipocracy

OMG

Sharon not pulling any punches👏

Cap's best friends *lip bite* I love this, so sassy

Yeah girl get yourself a drink

Okay

This is what I'm talking about. The club scene. Hi daddy

Um SAM IN A TURTLENECK

*peek*

Bucky in skinny jeans👌👌

It's a false wall you idiots

Um Buck with a gun and a watch🔥🔥

That's right you fucking know who he is

OF COURSE YOU HAVE FUCKING COMPANY

Yeah girl geez

Um teach me that choke hold please

Isaiah 🥺

Fuck you douche bag

What are you doing man

YA GIRL'S GOT KNIFE SKILLS

The sound effect of her hiting the container👌👌

Killing a man. With his own gun shiiit

Yeah baby omg

Oh.... My god... Why!!!

You know someone else is gonna pick this all up again one day. This lab isn't gone. *lab explodes* Or maybe not

Of course Zemo's gone ugh

Saying dammit and shit in this series 👌 But honestly, Bucky would say fuck. A lot. Tell me I'm wrong.

Bucky shooting with one hand🥵

Seb being himself when his gun is empty

WHAT IS GOING ON

Fuck them up baby

What if Zemo took the serum??? No he was in jail...

Sharon we love you

HELL NO I'M NOT MOVING MY SEAT UP

This is like a video game plot. They're trying to break into the grc supply depot?

I do like getting to see a bit of Karli's personality/story

I wanna be super strong 🥺

This guy is cute too.

UGH fuck you WALKER I HATE YOU

Thank you lamar

I hate that guy

TORRES

Bucky cleaning his hand omgggg

Aw Sam I love your heart

The cap music😭

Like I get they have their beliefs... People will do anything for what they believe in

She looks so scared all the time (Karli)

Omg

This is the only language these people understand... Did she do this??

Ouchhh. Zemo. But I don't blame him

How are you finding these things??? Also, the dexterity of his arm👏. It's not just for punching ladies and gentlemen.

Ok that camera work

OMG I ACTUALLY GASPED OUT LOUD

And then this end credits music just tops it off perfectly 👌👌

In summary: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

But tbh I feel like I need to rewatch without taking notes😉

#tfatws #tfatws spoilers #nano watches #the sam and bucky show