#like... bring in homemade food and talk about how you found the recipe and thought they'd like it

[imastrangeone98]

Against the Odds

(A/N: I learned about the a/b/o court case and I felt like even I could do better than this shitty a/b/o book XD)

warning: cringy a/b/o tropes... sorry about that. probably really OOC ushi boi, my beloved haikyuu oc aiumi shizuka, coach washijo NOT being a d*ckhead, and tendo being a GODSEND. Also this ended up being LONG LONG so... sorry? Buckle up buttercup this is a journey

The girl sitting next to him didn't have a distinct scent. That was the first thought that ran through Ushijima's mind at the glance of his new seat mate.

It was mild, like jasmine flowers. It was barely in the air, but it was enough to put him at ease- a feeling that was quite unfamiliar to him.

So he simply chose the logical route and ignored it, only speaking with her when it turned out he had no pencil to take notes with and she lent him one of hers.

"Oh, Shizuka's in your class?" Tendō cackled, patting him on the back. "Be nice to her, yeah? She's a good friend of mine."

There was nothing wrong with his teammate's request, so he obliged. Wakatoshi didn't really mind being polite to others, as long as they didn't interrupt his daily routine.

But as the school year continued, he found that his eyes kept drifting towards the beta girl, noting the way she walked solidly on her feet in comparison to the omegas who bounced on their toes, the gentle yet honest way she spoke, to the way she smiled closed-mouth yet the corners of her mouth were slightly open.

It was distracting. He found himself missing the occasional spike at practice when the scent of jasmine lingered in the air, especially when it wafted particularly strongly off Yamagata and Tendō, the latter of whom only laughed about how jealously he was acting towards someone who wasn't his girlfriend. Wakatoshi merely grunted that he wasn't jealous, nor was she his lover in any way.

But he couldn't deny the strange thump in his chest when she offered him a cupcake- "A test subject for a new recipe I'm coming up with," she said, leaving him accepting without a word. He didn't mind the way Tendō would occasionally bring her to practice, ignoring the way Coach Washijō grumbled about her "unnecessary presence during training" only to comically switch his tune when she brought homemade wagashi. Wakatoshi even found himself putting more force behind his serves, something Tendō found hilarious for some reason.

"If you're that hung over it, just tell her, man."

"I don't understand; there is nothing to say. She's simply a good presence to be around, nothing more."

"Ushijima," Semi laughed, "you really are nothing more than a volleyball idiot, huh? You gotta get better at talking with the babes!"

...Babe? Did Semi view Aiumi Shizuka as a baby?

"...But I do talk with her," Ushijima retorted. "Often, in fact. Also, Aiumi is not an infant."

"That's not what I... Never mind."

So he continued his usual routine of speaking with Shizuka before class, occasionally tasting some of her latest creations, thinking about the sound of her laughter while he studied, while he slept, while he ate.

"Wakatoshi, you really like her, huh?" Reon chuckled during lunchtime, patting him on the shoulder. "You're so different around her, it's almost scary."

He frowned. "I don't believe I've been acting any differently than usual-"

"Ushijima, wanna try one of my super special awesome spicy tuna onigiri?" Aiumi Shizuka suddenly appeared, a small bento box in her hands. A very pleased grin stretched her lips. "I'm especially proud of the mayo-free sauce I made for the tuna."

"I'm sure it'll taste wonderful, thank you." With a nod, he took one out, taking the time to savor the spiciness of the sauced fish to the sweet rice.

After he gave a detailed review, she nodded in approval before patting his shoulder and jogging away towards Tendō. Wakatoshi watched her every step, making sure she disappeared amongst the crowd before turning back to his food.

Ōhira and Semi, who had just joined their table, had their eyes wide, like they had seen a ghost.

"Dude," Eita cackled. "You really got it bad."

"What do you mean?"

"You never accept food from people, especially omegas. And you don't let them touch you either," Reon explained.

"You really like that beta, huh?" Eita mumbled through a mouthful of rice. "Have you told her how you felt yet?"

"I don't know what you're talking-"

"Wakatoshi," Reon suddenly said, staring deeply into the captain's eyes. "You like a beta. You understand what this means, right?"

His eyebrow lifted in mild surprise; Reon hardly spoke this seriously outside of volleyball. "No, I don't understand."

"She's a beta, Wakatoshi. Not an omega. You know that, right?"

"Yes, of course I know that. She doesn't smell like an omega, after all."

His two teammates sighed, and Reon smiled at him. "Well then, don't worry about it. Just follow your heart. And don't listen to what anyone says."

He didn't quite understand what the entire purpose of the comment was, but he nodded regardless and continued on with his meal, thinking of the onigiri he ate just minutes ago.

[...]

Semi's words echoed lightly in the back of Wakatoshi's mind, especially as he watched Aiumi talk so enthusiastically with Yamagata about... He didn't even know what they were talking about.

Have you told her how you felt yet?

The unbearably faint scent of jasmine lingered strongly in his nose. He didn't want Yamagata to be any closer to her. He needed to get his teammate's scent off of her, even though Yamagata- as a beta- didn't have that strong of a scent to begin with.

His alpha was showing, and logically, Ushijima knew he needed to stop it. But he couldn't help the petty anger growing in his chest; the need to mark her and scent her so strongly she reeked of him burning intensely in his mind.

"Hey, Ushijima. Are you okay?" Aiumi gently patted him on the shoulder. "You seem really distracted today..."

"...May I speak with you after school?" was his only response, staring deeply into her eyes.

She stared back at him for a few seconds before simply saying, "Sure. After practice?"

"No, Coach Washijō doesn't assign practice on Fridays in order to promote muscle growth," he stated. "After class."

And with that, he briskly turned on his heel and walked back to the classroom, ignoring her curious glances during math.

With the prompt ring of the bell, he swiftly packed up his things and waited for Aiumi to do the same, before walking out of school together.

"So... where are we headed off to?" she asked, almost jogging in an effort to keep up with his brisk pace. He immediately slowed his steps to let her catch up.

"We can get something to eat first," he says. "Or we could go straight to Tsutsujigaoka; there's not many people at this time of day."

"You like sakura, Ushijima?" she laughed, patting his shoulder. "I didn't know that! You and me both, except for different reasons. I really like pickled sakura blossoms!"

He didn't realize he wasn't listening, preening at the way her scent now lingered on his clothes.

"Oi, how long are you gonna walk?" Aiumi tugged his arm. "I thought we were gonna eat. I know a great yōshoku place. You like hayashi rice, right?"

[...]

"You still haven't told me why you invited me out. Was it because an omega rejected your offer and you felt too lonely to come alone?" Aiumi joked, sipping on some kind of milk tea.

"I don't like omegas," Wakatoshi said immediately, staring into the smoothie cup that felt too small in his hands. "Also, Semi told me that seeing sakura was a good way to end the first school year."

"Oh yeah, we're gonna be second-years soon! Do you feel old yet?"

"I'm still youthful. And so are you."

She laughed. "That's high praise, oh youthful one."

The two of them fell into a comfortable silence, gazing at the falling cherry blossoms. A petal fell onto her hair, and he touched it with a gentleness even he wasn't aware of. It was soft between his fingertips, like her hair.

"I like you." The words slipped out of his mouth without realizing, but he didn't quite regret it. "I like you very much."

Wakatoshi felt her eyes on him. He had always thought of himself as someone who didn't hesitate to take action, yet he found himself hesitating to look at her, turning his head away. He didn't understand why.

"...You like... me?" she whispered. "Why? You're an alpha, aren't you?"

"I do not understand what my biological status has anything to do with this, but I like the way you focus when you cook. I like your determination to perfect your craft. I like the sound of your laughter. I like how your eyes brighten up at trying new food. I like the way you walk on your feet. I like your scent. I like you, Aiumi Shizuka."

She didn't respond for a while. Wakatoshi didn't feel the need to ask her for an answer. He knew she would give him one once she collected her thoughts. So they continued to watch the cherry blossoms and sip their drinks until it was time to head back to the dorms.

"I'm sorry for shutting down on you, Ushijima," Shizuka finally said as they exited the subway station. "The truth is, I like you too. I just... don't know if it's the right thing for us."

"I will take this as your rejection, then?" His voice was shakier than he thought it would be.

"I... I guess so? Just, think about it. Alphas can never be in relationships with betas; the biology doesn't sync up like omegas do-"

He grumbled, "I thought I made it clear that I do not like omegas."

"You still haven't told me why you don't like them. They're fine people... most of them, at least." Her head hung low. "If we date... people will talk. They'll talk badly about you."

He immediately pressed his wrist to her neck, even though his scent wouldn't linger as strong, in an effort to provide comfort. Surprisingly, she leaned into his touch.

"I don't care about what people say," he said simply. "About me, or about our relationship. If you're willing to be in one with me, that is."

She chuckled, but it sounded hollow. "If only I could have your confidence. Don't you know basically no one likes alpha-beta relationships?"

He shook his head. "I don't see why that matters if two people are compatible."

"...Like us?" Aiumi asked quietly.

"Yes." He offered her his hand, which she took. "I think we fit well together."

As they approached the dorms, she suddenly stopped. "To be honest, I'm scared. I'm scared people won't take us seriously. I'm scared people won't like you anymore. That people won't like me anymore." She gazed deep into his eyes, the corners of her lips trembling into a brave smile. "But I wanna be your girlfriend. I really like you, Ushi- Wakatoshi."

She said his name. He liked the way she said his name. Something deep in his gut urged him to scent her, but he held it in.

"Oh... Did you not want me to say your first name?" she stammered. "Uh, I can-"

"No. Keep saying it." He couldn't help but give a faint smile. "Can I call you by yours?"

Her cheeks reddened. "Of course."

"Okay. Good night... Shizuka." Wakatoshi couldn't help but whisper her name, gently rubbing his wrist against her neck again. "Let's meet tomorrow too."

She nodded, and before she went inside, quickly pressed her own wrist against his skin. Then she ducked inside and he couldn't see her.

He didn't sleep well that night, still thinking about her weakening scent on his neck.

[...]

And see her tomorrow he did. And the day after that. And the days until the beginning of their second year.

They were in the same class again, much to their delight. When he returned to volleyball practice, his teammates seemed immensely pleased, giving him pats on the back and a thumbs-up whenever he replied to her messages during breaks.

"You finally grew some balls, didn't you, Ushiwaka?" Semi crowed. "Good for you! I expect to be singing at your wedding in a few years' time!"

"I will keep that in mind," Ushijima responded simply.

Not much appeared to have changed since the beginning of their relationship. Shizuka continued to be active in the cooking club, and would occasionally ask him to taste her latest creations; the only difference was the reddening of her cheeks and the smile she gave him that only grew brighter. He continued to play on the team, and scored point after point in matches. He still occasionally got distracted by the image of her smile, the sound of her laughter.

But even he could realize the small, yet noticeable changes in his routine: the way she reached out her hand to hold his as they walked down to the cafeteria, the way he rushed to her club room after the end of an early practice to watch her craft yet another recipe, the way she came to watch him in matches wearing his spare club jacket with pride.

The way he enjoyed pressing his wrist to her neck and arms, relishing the way his scent rubbed off on her. He did it shamelessly: before class, after class, before practice, after practice, during lunch, during breaks, during dates. And he preened at the way she would always try to reciprocate, even though her scent wouldn't last nearly as long as his.

Wakatoshi never put much thought into the concept of happiness, what it meant to be happy. He thought he knew it with volleyball, but when he was with Shizuka, he did what he never used to do before: he thought of a future. He thought of a family. He thought of drinks beneath the sakura trees, spicy tuna onigiri, holding hands during lunch, the scent of jasmine.

He was happy with her. She made him very happy.

But it was around the middle of their second year when he began to wonder if she actually felt the same way he did.

They were eating lunch together when he noticed how she suddenly ducked her head when their classmates walked by.

"They're talking about us," she revealed to him when he asked her why she began to do it. "About our relationship." When he tried to ask further, she simply shook her head and kept it down. His chest hurt to see her like this, so he didn't press any further.

"Shizu's been distant, you say?" Tendō mused, munching on some popcorn.

"Could you ask her for me?" Wakatoshi asked his friend. "I'm afraid that if I do, she won't answer me with honesty."

"Sure, buddy." His voice sounded uncertain. "But I have a feeling I know what's going on."

"What is it, Tendō?"

"...Listen to what the others say next time, Wakatoshi. I hope for both your sakes that you understand the answer."

[...]

"How long you think they're gonna last?"

"Dunno, maybe a month at best."

"It's Ushijima, you honestly think he's gonna stick with a beta for a mate?"

"Alphas need to be with omegas, that's just how it is-"

"He'll see it in time-"

"He deserves better-"

"Shizuka?" A warm hand grasped her own. "Were you paying attention?"

"Ah... Sorry, what were you saying?" She forced herself to look away from the table towards her boyfriend, who was watching her with concern in his eyes. "I got... distracted by something."

"...You haven't eaten your food," he noted, pushing her plate towards her. "I thought omurice days were your favorite at the cafeteria."

She nodded, mindlessly shoveling a spoonful of the rice into her mouth. It tasted like glue. Her tastebuds grew more dull by the day, and the worst part was that she couldn't even find it in herself to be mad about it.

Shizuka thought she knew what she was getting into. But the constant whispers and rumors, the heartless stares of her classmates, the abandonment by her clubmates when they learned of her relationship status (or should she say, who she was dating)... It was all too much. There was too much to listen to, and no one to listen to her. Not even her beloved Wakatoshi; simple, adorable, beautiful Wakatoshi, who couldn't understand why people would say such horrible things about their relationship.

"They don't see who we are," he would simply say to her. "It's their fault for not seeing how well we fit together."

And while those words would no doubt bring her comfort, it was those exact words that that would haunt her when the rumors only continued to spread like wildfire.

She had prepared her walls to be impenetrable as stone, so as to guard the love they shared. But there is only so much that stone can take before it is eroded, piece by piece, until the sharp thorns the walls were meant to keep out were piercing the treasure within.

Shizuka isn't strong enough. She's not Wakatoshi.

And when his face did not change even in the slightest when she told him her feelings on the matter, she couldn't help but be envious of the way he could be so calm and collected while she was nearly bursting at the seams.

"...I don't understand. Are you asking for a break up?" he asked, his voice steady as stone.

"No, Toshi. I don't think so. I just... want some time by myself. Would that be okay?" She hated how her voice trembled so much, but it was all she could do to keep it from shaking more.

"...How long are you asking for?"

"Just... just a month. No more, no less. I just want to... not think about the rumors, even if it's for a little while," she tried to reason. "I promise, I won't talk with anyone else in a romantic way, or go on a date-"

A low, rumbling growl left his lips, and she rushed to embrace him. The moment his strong arms wrapped around her waist, she nearly sobbed at his warmth and comfort, pushing her face into his chest, absorbing his smell, the familiar weight of his body pressing against hers.

But this moment couldn't last forever, even if she wished to stretch it out into infinity. She pulled away. "I'm so tired, Toshi. I'm tired of hearing all these bad things about us. Please... I need a break. Please."

And she would never know the way Wakatoshi's heart broke at the sheer exhaustion and pain in her voice. She would never know the absence of his strength as he let her go.

He would make sure she never knew of the way his soul shattered as he watched her walk away from him.

[...]

It hadn't even been a week before the others noticed. It wasn't hard, after all- a couple who were once attached to the hip were now skating away from each other like nervous cats.

The rumors of their "breakup" spread as the weeks went by, and so did the whispers amongst the alphas, the omegas, the betas, whose approval of the separation was more than apparent.

"See, I told you it wouldn't last."

"You think I can finally get a chance?"

"Betas like us can only get the short end of the stick. That's just how it is."

Ushijima's inner alpha bristled, the desire to snap at his classmates surging through his veins. But Tendō must've noticed, if the way he grabbed his wrist and dragged him to the gym wasn't an indicator.

"Alright, I know you two did something. What's goin' on?" he demanded while changing into his practice clothes. "Shizu ain't talkin' to me, so I'm gonna drag it out of you, whether you like it or not!"

Wakatoshi didn't want to say it aloud. It would make the separation more real, give it more power than he needed it to. But the words slipped out regardless: "Shizuka wanted a break from our relationship."

Tendō was quiet for a while after that. He changed his clothes in silence and went to stand by the door, fiery eyes staring blankly at the floor.

"She said that it was too much," Ushijima continued, his fingers clumsily fumbling with the shoelaces. "That she was tired, and wanted to rest."

Tendō still said nothing. He fiddled restlessly with the bandages on his fingers.

"...I didn't want to let her go." He clutched the fabric of his shorts, knuckles turning pale at the pressure. "But she... She cried. So much. I don't..." He felt his throat clogging, and he tried to cough out the lump that wouldn't disappear. "I don't understand. I thought we were happy..."

His friend sighed, and opened his mouth to say something, only for his gaze to harden. "What is it?" His voice sounded unusually harsh.

Ushijima was about to speak when his nose picked up a scent: the pungent smell of roses and vanilla. His lips curled downwards, closed tight to stifle the hostile growl that longed to escape his throat.

"I just wanted to know if Ushijima was here," a sickly sweet voice answered. "Can I see him? I promise I won't take long."

"Practice starts now. All observers have to leave," was Tendō's clinical response. "And he's changing, so no guests. Leave."

"I don't mind waiting-"

"Leave. Now."

"...Listen, you beta freak. You're not the boss of him, or me. You don't tell me what to do-"

"Coach Washijō does not allow visitors when practice starts." Ushijima decided to make his presence known, staring down at the omega he assumed was a member of another class. He didn't even know her name, or bother to learn it. "As Tendō said, it is time for you to leave."

The girl's face immediately lit up, completely ignoring the darkness in his eyes, and she showed him the bento box she was holding. "Toshi, I just wanted to say-"

"Do not call me that."

She froze, along with his teammates who had begun to enter the gym. Semi and Ōhira glanced at each other before slowly approaching.

"Why not?" she broke out of her stupor to whine. "That beta girl called you that all the time!"

"Because that is the name I allowed her to call me," he rumbled darkly, eyes beginning to flicker with rage. "I do not recall allowing you that right."

"Look, I just wanted to give you this." The omega tried to shove the bento into his hands; he refused to even touch it. "Y'know, it's for the best you broke up with her. Betas can't handle alphas the way we omegas can."

Ushijima's hands shook.

Tendō paled. "Stop right now-"

"It's the truth, isn't it? Our pheromones match together for a reason; it's in our biology! I admit, it was kinda interesting seeing you two fight it for so long, but you deserved better-"

He completely blanked out. Her disgusting smell, her shrill voice, it all blended together into one disorienting haze.

He couldn't process how Tendō and Semi rushed to grab his arms before he could claw her fucking eyes out, rip out her throat with his teeth, bleed her out onto the floor as he watched her die.

He couldn't process the omega's horrified scream as Ōhira pushed her away and demanded the underclassmen to take her out, with or without her permission.

He couldn't process the fact that he was releasing so many pheromones that promised death, death to that revolting omega, death to his cruel classmates, death death D E A T H-

He couldn't process that the blood-curdling howls were coming from his own throat as he screamed himself hoarse, begging for the return of the one he lost.

[...]

When Ushijima finally came to, it was at the nurse's office. Coach Washijō peered down at him while speaking with the nurse, briefly thanking her before turning his full attention to his prize player.

"Satori filled me in on the basic gist of what happened," he said, his normally strict voice oddly calm despite the events that occurred.

"...I apologize, coach." His voice was so shaky, it hurt to speak. "It won't happen again. It was a lapse of judgement. I will apologize to the girl as well."

"From what it looked like, it certainly didn't seem like just some 'lapse of judgement.'" The coach sighed before taking a seat on the bed. "Wakatoshi. As you are now, you are in no condition to play."

He lurched up on the bed, eyes wide, and immediately began to voice his complaints, but Washijō continued.

"Until you get your issues fixed and your priorities straight, I forbid you from attending practice for the remainder of this month."

Wakatoshi's throat clogged. What little strength he managed to gather disappeared yet again. "But the upcoming match-"

"Will have to continue on without you." The coach's steely gaze pierced through his student. "With your mental state being as fragile as it is, you being there won't change the outcome. Besides, don't think I haven't noticed you slacking off for the past few weeks; I only gave you a pass because of that girl who used to come by. Her wagashi is missed, by the way."

He fell silent at his coach's words, knowing them to be true. Ever since the separation, his spiking power had reduced significantly. He made more amateur mistakes, and missed several of the new setter, Shirabu's tosses.

Coach was right. He was currently not responsible enough to play. And that knowledge brought him pain. Not enough to forget the hole in his chest, but enough to make his bones ache.

"Kids, these days," Washijō mused with a huff. "So unwilling to fight for what they want. Back in my day, I just pursued the hell out of my wife, even though I was a beta and she was an omega. Best decision of my life."

Wakatoshi blinked at the sudden story. "Did you ever have... trouble?"

"Of course I did! But the alphas who loved to talk shit about me could never hold up in a fight," he boasted. "I knew I wasn't the best for her, but dear god, I loved that woman. Biology this, biology that, blah blah blah. It was still me that she chose." His chest briefly puffed up with pride, before he decided to turn to Ushijima. "If you ask me, kid, biology ain't nothin' but a load of horse dung. You want that girl, then it'll happen naturally, biology or not."

With those words and a brief stretch of his arms, he left the room. Tendō and the others soon replaced him, swarming Wakatoshi and telling him words that buzzed in his ears, something about the omega girl and his physical condition, about the upcoming practice match.

The coach's story still rung in his mind.

[...]

"Have you heard?" one of her clubmates whispered to another. "Ushijima's being disciplined."

Shizuka's ears pricked, carefully stirring her test cake batter.

"For real? What'd he do?"

"Y'know Yoshira Koharu? That really cute omega from 2-1? Apparently she tried to confess to him and he completely blew up at her face."

"Is that why she's not at school right now?"

Ushijima was disciplined? She suddenly flashed back to yesterday, when Satori had hinted to something bad happening a few hours before practice.

"So horrible that grungy Tanji actually cancelled practice," he had told her while helping her with her merengue cookies, "which is why my wonderful self is here to serve you~" But when she asked for more details, he wouldn't say anything more than the fact that Ushijima was involved before shoving a cookie in her mouth.

It tasted like chalk.

Lately, everything she made tasted like it. Like the ingredients knew her very soul was sucked out, and decided to not take any more of it for itself, lest she lose herself completely. But it seemed that it was far too late for that.

It had already been a month, yet the pain of their separation weighed more on her than the weight of the rumors and cruel words.

She needed to see him.

Without her realizing, after-school club had ended, and she mindlessly packed some of the test cake to take with her before setting off to Ushijima's dorm, where she nervously stood by the entrance.

She forgot- she was a girl, she wasn't allowed into the boy's dorms. Why now of all times to remember such a crucial detail...

"Aiumi? That's you, right?"

Jumping at the sudden familiar voice, she turned around to see Ōhira Reon, with a friendly smile and a wave.

"Um... Hi."

"Hey there. You need something?" He gestured to the building, and she nodded.

"Yeah. I was... hoping to talk to Waka- I mean, Ushijima."

At the mere mention of his name, Reon's smile dropped, eyes brimming with concern as he rubbed his chin.

"I wouldn't say he's in... the best mood to receive guests right now," he spoke carefully. "He's been having some trouble in practice, so he's been grumpy."

So it was true, she realized. Something bad happened to him. She couldn't help but look down at her shoes. She knew it was likely because of her.

"...But..." he continued, placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder, "I'm sure he'd be happy to see you. You are his mate, after all."

And with that, he let her inside the dorms with some directions to his dorm room. It wasn't until she was standing in front of his door that she managed to process what it was he said.

Mate? Did he consider her his mate?

Her hand was propped at the door to knock when it swung open. Shizuka jumped, about to take her hand away when a warm grip grasped her wrist and tugged her inside.

Her yelp was muffled by the shirt her face was buried in, but the warmth that surrounded her needed no explanation. With a relieved sigh, she returned Wakatoshi's hug. It was comforting to know that he missed her just as much, if not more so, than she missed him.

"Shizu," he whispered with what could only be described as reverence, burying his face into the crook of her neck and inhaling deeply. "You're here."

"Yeah," she gasped out, patting his back. "I'm here."

"...I missed you."

The raw vulnerability in his voice brought tears to her eyes. She pushed her face further into his chest, savoring his familiar woody scent. "I missed you too, Toshi. I- I'm so sorry, about everything! About leaving, and not being strong enough!" Her sobs made her chest heave, and she weeped in his arms for some time, all the while he gently rubbed her back and hushed her, leading her to his bed to sit on it.

"Please don't apologize," he whispered to her, burying his nose in her hair. "You were strong. You still are. You just needed some rest, that's all."

They didn't talk for a while after that, just staying in each others' arms, taking in each others' warmth and scent, re-familiarizing themselves with one another.

But they didn't need words to know how the other was feeling: at peace.

The alpha in Wakatoshi huffed in content, more than eager to re-scent her after a month of separation. The urge came once again: he wanted to mark her, to make the bond so they could never be apart again.

But he didn't speak until Shizuka finally wiped her eyes and heaved out a big sigh of relief, leaning into his touch with a smile that finally reached the corners of her eyes. His heart felt lighter at the sight; it had been a while since he'd seen her smile so beautifully.

"I'm really sorry," Shizuka spoke again, turning in his arms to gaze deep into his eyes. Her lips were pressed in a tight line, and her brows were creased. "I thought a break would help me get my head together about the situation, but it didn't. I just felt more sad and lonely; I kept missing you so much I couldn't even think about the rumors that made me want a break in the first place."

Oh.

Wakatoshi could feel his heart jump; the knowledge that she missed him just as much as he missed her made his chest puff in pride, a soft purr-like growl erupting from his throat.

"I didn't mind too much," he spoke honestly, "because you returned to me. That is all I could ever ask for." He nuzzled the crook of her neck, and when his teeth lightly scraped the skin, he reveled in the way she shivered. "You are all I could ever ask for."

"That's definitely a lie," she said with a laugh. "Nothing could come between you and volleyball; nothing."

"You are just as important to me as volleyball."

"Sure, I'll believe that when you give up a game for me~"

"I did."

She flinched away to gape at him, eyes wide in shock. "...Does it have anything to do with the fact that you're being disciplined?"

"...Yes." He sighed and ran a hand through his hair in frustration. "An omega disrupted practice. She insulted you, and I..." He coughed into his hand and said nothing afterwards.

Shizuka just stared at him, stunned. While she knew of his distaste for omegas, the fact that whatever he did to Yoshira was due to her absence...

She couldn't help the tears prickling her eyes once again, even if she didn't want to. "I'm sorry. It's my fault. You can't even attend the next match..."

"No." He shook his head fervently, pushing her face back into his chest. "Don't blame yourself. While I could have reacted less extremely, I do not regret what happened. I would never let anyone disrespect my mate like that."

There was that word again: mate. The fear once again made its appearance in her stomach, but Shizuka refused to let it rise and consume her yet again.

"Y'know, if we do end up being mates," she started, "it'll be hard. We'll always get questioned; you'll have a harder time with ruts; and if you go pro- which you probably will- people will always try to get you." She couldn't help but gnaw on her thumb at that thought. "I can't mark or scent you like omegas can. What if you get tired of me?"

Wakatoshi hummed tunelessly, so bad that she couldn't help but laugh. "I like when you scent me. It reminds me that I'm yours. I don't mind that your mark will fade away either; you can simply replace it. And I am also worried about you going to culinary school: many people will likely try to get close to you, and I will not be able to be there to fend them off."

She couldn't help but whistle at the revelation of his worries. "Wow. The great Ushijima Wakatoshi is, deep down, a worrywart."

"So it would seem."

"Even so, would you be okay with that?" she asked, leaning back to look into his eyes. "Are you okay with me?"

He simply tilted his head. "If I wasn't, I wouldn't have asked you to date me."

"...Ah." There was the usual Wakatoshi bluntness she loved so much. But before she could say anything else, he gently took hold of her hands, rubbing the skin with his thumb.

"Shizuka, whether it's a month, a year, or a decade, I will wait however long it takes. All I ask is that I am the one you choose to return to." There was a tinge of uncharacteristic fear in his eyes that made his gaze cloudy. "You asked me if I could get tired of you. I think I should be the one asking you that. My ruts will make things difficult for you. My future career may bring unnecessary pressure on you. My status as an alpha may very well be a burden to you. Even so..."

She tried to shake her head (how could he possibly think himself to be a burden when he's been nothing but a balm to her aching heart), but he stopped her with a swift, gentle kiss to her cheek.

"I like you, Aiumi Shizuka. I choose you. I may not know much about love, but what I feel comes close to what I imagined it to be, because you make me happy. You make me think of a future."

The tears refused to stop now; even if she wanted to, the sobs heaving from her chest failed to cease.

(How did she ever deserve his love? His patience? When all she did was hurt him, he still accepted her with open arms. What did he even see in her?)

But, as if he somehow knew what was going through her mind, Wakatoshi cradled her face in his warm hands, thumbs softly brushing away her tears. He smiled at her; a clumsy, beautiful smile that put a stop to her downward spiral as she basked in its glory.

"Shizuka," he whispered, "will you ever get tired of me?"

Her crying made her voice tremble, but her answer was resolute: "Never. Never in a thousand years."

And she tackled him onto the mattress, nuzzling into his neck, scenting him so much that his chest rumbled in pleasure, arms wrapping around her smaller form to turn her onto her side so as to press his forehead against her own.

"I love you, Toshi," she finally admitted, placing a kiss to the corner of his mouth. "I love you so much. And I will always choose you, always."

He huffed in relief, returning her chaste kiss with reddened cheeks, before shoving his face into the crook of her neck. He nosed at the skin, close to her glands, and pressing his lips against it. Shizuka shivered in his hands, and he reveled in the reaction, confident that one day, he would feel it yet again.

"Are you gonna mark me?" she asked quietly. He felt her hand slowly run through his hair, playing with the strands.

"Not tonight," he replied, purring at her gentle touch. "But soon."

Spoken with finality, it would be his promise to her. He would mark her and make her his mate.

Soon. All in due time. As they fought against the odds.

Together.

[...]

"Y'know, he's not as pissed as I thought he would be," Yamagata noticed as he drank from his water bottle alongside his friends.

Reon nodded. "Yeah, no kidding. I wonder what happened up there. Sure was a good thing, though. He's not as grumpy anymore, and he actually does well in practice now."

Tendō cackled, but much to his friends' chagrin, he added nothing else to the conversation other than a cheeky "He's a lucky bastard, that one."

But no one could deny the glow that emanated from the alpha as he sat by the coach's side, significantly calmer than before.

Semi sighed and cracked his knuckles. "Well, I better get a head start then."

"On what?" Yamagata asked curiously.

"On writing their wedding song, duh."

--------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: oh my god this has been in my drafts for forever, I'm so glad it's over with- but I'm also super proud of this!

Also I'm testing the read more rn, rip me

#haikyuu #ushijima wakatoshi #ushijima x oc #idc if no one reads it #this is cute and I will go down with this

[storiesofsvu]

The Nanny With Benefits Ch 12

Poly!Barhoun x fem!reader Warnings: language, minor alcohol consumption, smut, strap on, sex toys, dirty talk.

Carting two toddlers around Manhattan was never and easy task, and the Barhoun kids certainly lived up to that fact. It was either in their blood or been conditioned into them from their parents that any Starbucks or legit coffee shop they passed they had to at least try to go into. Isabella took after her mother, often stopping dead in her tracks to stare at shiny things, and it surprised you a bit when she let out a very loud screech (directly into your ear) about books when you passed Barnes & Noble. She was the harder one to wrangle, so it was easier to just carry her, and make sure you had Damian’s hand. At the very least, they were more focused on their destination, knowing they were on their way to Abuelita’s house for a late lunch and a sleepover. You were incredibly thankful this was a regular occurrence and you didn’t have to cart anything extra with you, each kid responsible for their own little backpack of what they wanted to bring.

You’d finally managed to get them to the appropriate side of the city and were thankful you could plop Isabella down to run through the hallway of Lucia’s apartment building. Even with the shorter legs she managed to beat Damian to the elevator, and there were some frustrations over her getting to push the button so you made sure he got the chance to push the button for Lucia’s floor. It was a race to Abuelita’s door, the kids now both full of laughter and shrieks of joy as they pushed it open and barrelled into the apartment.

“Sorry we’re late.” You apologized in a huff, swinging the door shut behind you and flicking the lock as you began to hang up various coats and bags, making sure dirty shoes were being taken off. “I forgot how taxing these two can be in the city if I don’t use the car service.”

“They certainly are their parent’s children.” Lucia replied with a laugh, greeting you with a tight hug and a kiss on the cheek.

“Tell me about it. I’m starting to think Is likes Tiffany’s more than Rita. She nearly threw a tantrum when I kept walking.”

“Oh Chica, I once stopped outside a Starbucks to fix her coat, turned around to find Damian had already made it to the counter, ordered and paid with a gift card. The barista thought he was adorable and ordering for a parent, I barely made it in time to save him from drinking an Americano.” You barked out a laugh at that, picturing the toddler with a much too large coffee cup with far too much caffeine.

“Little instigators they are.”

“They learnt from their shit disturber parents.” Lucia deadpanned quietly and you nearly snorted, “kiddos!” she called out to them, “would you like to watch a movie while you eat?”

There was a chorus of cheers echoed through the apartment and the two of you got them set up at toddler tv tables in the living room. Plates full of homemade Cuban delicacies that Lucia made sure you had recipes for tucked in your bag while you scrolled through her Disney+ until you found something that suited them both. While you were distracted with that, she managed to plate up lunch for the two of you, offering you a glass of wine as you settled at the table.

“Never would’ve pegged you for a tv lunch type.” You mused, tucking into the meal.

“I’ve got the next two days to have all the grandbaby time.” She replied, a grin on her lips, “figured maybe I should actually spend some time with you while you’re here.”

“Please,” you laughed, “I’m just the nanny here for the delicious food because your son is too busy too cook it and your daughter in law can barely make oatmeal without burning the apartment down.”

“Chica…” Lucia warned with a near evil grin, “don’t act like I don’t know your actual relationship is in that house. It may be new for the three of you, and something that took a lot of education for me to understand why and how it works, but I support it. You make them both happy in ways they can’t make each other, and these kids? They’re crazy about you.”

“Thanks.” You mumbled, your gaze redirecting to your plate.

“So…” she nudged at your elbow, “things are good, right?”

“Yes.” You laughed, “Raf and I had a night out last weekend. Took me out to a nice night on Broadway followed by a trip up to the Bronx for some of his favourite foods while growing up.”

“And Rita?”

“Someone who knows how to spoil, that’s for sure.” You both laughed,

“I did think those earrings you had on at Damian’s birthday looked a little out of your price range.” Lucia commented and you blushed. “I take it you all have a date night tonight, hence why I’m babysitting?”

“Just Rita from what I know.” You replied, “Raf’s pretty deep into this case, probably working super late. I’m not sure Rita’s plan but she picked out a nice outfit for me and asked how I did with motion sickness…”

“Hmm… probably some kind of river dinner cruise. Unless you’ve got enough time to escape out to the Hamptons? I know she has a yacht or two out there.”

“No…” you hummed, curiosity getting the best of you, “she said something about being home afterwards.”

“Well…as long as you all are happy?”

“We are.” you smiled happily with a soft sigh, “I had no idea that this was what I needed from life, or wanted, but it just…works…”

“Remember that you’re supported and loved, and I have your back, alright? I know I can come across brash a lot, but I’m still learning about things like this. I’m honestly surprised the two of them decided to tell me about how their relationship worked rather than keep it secret. Especially with you being the nanny, it would be too easy to hide.”

“Well, they both really love you; I don’t think they like to keep secrets from the people they love.”

“You know, I think your bright-eyed optimism is what makes you work with them so well.” She teased and you laughed.

“Whatever works, right?”

“And you really do work perfectly. I’m happy for the three of you, really.” Her hand reached out to squeeze at yours gently before Isabella let out a shriek at Damian stealing her last piece of mango and Lucia nearly rolled her eyes, darting off to the living room for gramma duty.

**

Lucia had been right on the nose about the river cruise for dinner, a lavish evening filled with live music, bottomless champagne and a private table on the upper deck of the boat. Fresh crab cakes, salad and right out of the oven bread to start, followed by braised short ribs, seared salmon finished with a chocolate mousse trifle to share.

The time not spent at the table you were free to move around the boat, a little bit of socializing with the other guests, but mainly you kept to yourselves. Rita wrapped around you from behind as you stood at the bow, watching the sun set over the city, pressing gentle kisses to your exposed neck. You knew that her plan for tonight wasn’t exactly innocent at the tantalizing words she was husking into your ear, murmuring about all the things she wished she could do to you right then.

When she wasn’t torturing you with her words, it was the lingering touches, her fingers dancing across your skin, leaving shivers running through you. Gazes across the table where you could see the fire behind her eyes, the coy smirk placed perfectly on her lips as she listened to whatever meaningless story you were telling.

Which is why it was no surprise to you that the moment she had you back in the apartment she pounced on you once again. Fiery kisses and roaming hands as she practically dragged you upstairs, barely waiting until the bedroom door was closed to begin to strip you out of your dress. Neither of you even cared to notice the stream of light coming through the adjoining French doors, the soft instrumental playlist winding in from the other room. Rita only paused briefly to admire the lacy lingerie set, and that was when the teasing began.

“You always do look so fucking beautiful darling.” She murmured as she met your lips once again, this time slower, the kiss deeper than before. Her hands tickled up your bare sides before they found the clasp of your bra and let the garment fall to the floor. You moaned into the kiss as her hands cupped at your chest, pinching at your nipples and you tried to pull her closer to you. “Uh-uh…” she smirked, nipping at your lip as she stepped back, “not yet.”

You let out a little confused and frustrated whine when she stepped back, your head tilted in curiosity. Rita simply chuckled in return, turning towards the closet as she stepped out of her own dress, leaving her in the matching green bra and panties. She dug around for a moment and you assumed correctly she was grabbing a strap, but she chose to drop that in the chair beside the bed, silky scarves in her other hand.

“Sit.” She nodded toward the bed and you did as told, “you’ve been so good all night darling, I hope you’ve had a good time?”

“Yes.” You replied with a smile and a nod.

“Good. Because the next part might start to frustrate you.” She grinned, straddling your hips and nudging you back on the bed so you were flat on your back, “hands above your head.”

You cocked a brow but did as she’d asked. Rita leant forward, the silk scarf winding around your wrists and then linking through the spires of the headboard, securing them tightly. She double checked they were secure, but not cutting off your circulation and shifted back downward, her hand caressing at your cheek as she smirked down at you.

“You remember your word?”

“Yes.”

“Good girl.”

Rita leant down, meeting your eager lips in a kiss, her tongue easily sliding into your mouth while her hands began to toy with your chest once again. Instinctively you tried to move your arms, letting out a whine when your wrists were pulled back toward the headboard. In return Rita simply chuckled darkly, her lips beginning their decent, nipping at your jaw before trailing over the column of you neck, her teeth sinking in a little heavier here, pulling gasps and breathy moans from you.

“That’s it darling… you like that, don’t you?” She’d coo, continuing to shift down your body until her mouth was level with your chest. “Who knew you were so sensitive…”

You couldn’t help the gasp as her lips wrapped around your nipple sucking it into her mouth, groaning against your skin as her eyes fluttered shut. She made a very quick home there, tongue lapping and twirling around the swollen bud, teeth scraping on your sensitive skin in just the right way. Her hand snuck up the other side, pinching at your other nipple, doing her best to match the actions of her mouth.

“Oh god Rita…” you moaned, arching off the bed, your hands straining at their restraints, aching to bury your hands into her hair, puling her tighter to you. Instead, she rolled her hips, grinding down onto your lap, pulling another loud whine from you as your hips rocked up, begging for more contact. You felt her lips curve into a grin around your nipple before her teeth sunk into it, pulling it away from your body and letting it go with a lewd pop.

“Don’t worry sweetheart… I’ll take good care of you.”

Her tongue made a broad lick between your breasts before she moved over to the other one, sucking it into her mouth, pulling as much as she could in between her lips. Her hand swapped over to your spit slicked one, pinching and twisting at your nipple as her tongue danced around the other one.

The heat had been building within you for hours already, now, it was surging right at the surface of your skin, begging to be let out. Rita had barely started and you were already coated in a glistening sheen of sweat, the damp spot in your panties darkening with each time her lips closed around your nipple. You let out a loud swear as she bit into your sensitive skin again, body rocking up as far as you could with her hips pinning you down.

“I knew you liked it when I play with your pretty little pussy like this, but I had no idea you enjoyed nipple play too.” She laughed softly, suddenly leaning up to reach toward the bedside table.

Your eyes fluttered shut as you tried to catch your breath, your body tingling, and you heard something jingle as Rita’s weight settled over you once again. It wasn’t a surprise when you opened your eyes to Rita smirking above you, the dainty metal chains in her hands you recognized as nipple clamps. All she had to do was raise a brow down at you to have you nodding furiously, letting out a swear as she clipped the first one onto your chest. She tugged every so lightly at it, chuckling as your back arched off the bed, her free hand cupped at the other side of your chest, pressing a gentle kiss to your nipple before clipping the second clamp into place.

“Fuck!” It was louder this time as she shifted downward, pulling lightly on the chain before laying it down on your stomach, leading towards the top of your underwear. Another little tug on it had your head tossed back while your thighs clenched together and a darker chuckle from Rita.

“Seems like you really do enjoy this, hmm?” Her fingers swiped between your legs, feeling how wet your panties were already.

“More, please!”

“Darling when have I ever not given you what you wanted?” She asked, her hand continuing to palm at you through your wrecked underwear. You whimpered as the heel of her hand pressed against your clit, feeling your pussy clenching around nothing. “You just have to use your words.”

“Touch me, please.” You panted.

“I think I already am.” She teased, her palm rolling on your clothed cunt and you huffed.

“Take them off!”

“Oh…. are these little things bothering you?” Her fingers slipped into the waistband, snapping the elastic back against your skin, “you want them off?”

“I can’t exactly do it myself!” you protested with a huff, tugging against the scarves for emphasis.

“I do suppose you’re correct.” She smirked, her hand instead coming to the bottom of the nipple clamp chain, tugging on it right as the other one palmed your drenched cunt through your panties again and you let out a near sob.

“Rita please!”

“Would you stop torturing the poor girl!” Rafael’s voice called through from the other side of the French doors, where he was attempting to work through a court argument.

“Oh, Rafa…” Rita sat up, glancing toward the semi open door while she gently wrapped the chain around her hand, pulling it tighter with each roll of her wrist, “I do hope we’re not bothering you?”

“I can hear you if that’s what you mean?” he grumbled back and she barked a laugh.

“That’s kind of the point!” For emphasis she tugged heavily on the chain, resulting in a yelp of a moan escaping your lips. “Our girl just sounds so pretty I figured I could at least share that.”

“You’re a menace!” Rafael called back, rolling his eyes as he attempted to turn back to his paperwork.

Back in the other room, Rita chuckled, leaving the chain for now as she finally slipped her hands into your panties, sliding them down your legs and tossing them in the direction of the hamper.

“Jesus darling, you really are drenched.” She observed as her fingers slid through your folds and you let out a low moan, your hips rocking up, chasing after her hand for more. “Why don’t we let Rafael hear just how wet that pretty pussy is?”

This time her fingers slid into you, pumping a few times before beginning to curl, searching out that sensitive spot within you. You began to let out quiet moans, each one building louder as your chest began to heave, your body quivering on the bed, tugging at the scarves as you begged for more.

“Fuck… please don’t stop!”

The sound of your whining moan was enough for Rafael to toss down his pen, feeling his dick twitch in his pants yet again.

Rita and her fucking games.

“That’s it sweetheart…” Rita praised, “you take my fingers so well. Such a good girl.” Her hand picked up its speed, plunging into you with ease the sounds of your sopping cunt bouncing off the walls.

“oh god…oh god…fuck…” you could barely comprehend a thought as her fingers curled, hitting right where you needed in the same instant she tugged on the nipple clamp chain and your body shook up, your pussy walls fluttering tighter and tighter around her fingers.

But Rita had a plan, and she wasn’t going to let you come until it was at least in progress. Instead her hand stilled within you, tugging harshly on the chain and you let out a heavy whine in protest.

“Rita please!”

“Use your words…beg for it…”

“Please fuck me!” you managed to get it out through a strangled cry as she continued to toy with your tits. “Need your cock.”

“Hmm…” she mused, “you want my cock where? Buried in that pretty pussy of yours?”

“Yes!” you moaned as she curled her fingers again, “need you to fuck me, hard. Want your cock so deep in me, fill me up, please…” the last moan to leave your lips was the loudest as she pressed into your clit with the heel of her hand, continuing to torment you in her other ways as well. She let out a small chuckle at the sound of Rafael’s belt buckle clinking from the next room, her plan finally fully in play.

“Well, since you asked so nicely.” She slipped her fingers out of you, taking the time to suck them clean before rising from the bed, stepping into the strap and setting back over you. “You taste so sweet darling; I hope you know that…”

You let out a whine as she ran the tip of her cock through your folds, coating it with your juices before sinking it into your cunt.

“Oh fuck!” You swore loudly, pussy clamping down onto the toy quickly as you threw your head back. Your arms ached as they tugged forward once again, wanting to pull Rita to you, wrap yourself around her body as she fucked you into the mattress. Instead you were left bared and begging as her hips met yours with vigor, the sounds of skin on skin and your dripping pussy filling the room.

Somehow as you were climbing closer and closer to your peak, you heard the telltale sound of a bottle of lube flicking open and you managed to open your eyes, wondering if Rita had pulled another toy out. Her hand met your clit right as you did so, and you let out another moan, your eyes screwing shut again, the next sound was a soft grunt from Rafael, and now you understood exactly what Rita was doing.

“Fuck….” You moaned, “feel so fucking good.”

“You take it so well sweetheart.” Rita praised, her fingers pinching at your clit as she continued to deeply fuck you.

“Love your cock.” you panted, “feels so good.”

“Such a nice little pussy. So fucking wet….”

She spanked your clit and you gasped, hips rocking up off the bed to meet hers with eagerness, your panting turning into a string of whines and swears as you chased your peak. Rita’s hand tugged at the clamp chain, building a rhythm that matched the pace of her hips while her other hand rubbed furiously at your clit.

Your body truly was on fire, your cunt pulsating around her cock, electricity shooting through your body where her hands and the cool metal contrasted with your burning skin. You let out a shriek as your orgasm rocked through you, juices leaking out of your cunt around Rita’s cock, moans and whimpers leaving your lips as she cooed gentle praise at you.

“That’s my sweet girl. So good for me.”

Her hands gently trailed up your body, softly undoing the clamps as you panted. She continued to gently fuck you through your orgasm though, pressing gentle kisses to your skin, her thumbs rubbing soothing patterns up your arms. Cock still buried within you she undid the scarves, tossing them to the side as you slowly began to catch your breath. Your eyes met with a matching gleam at the sound of a strangled groan from the next room and Rita chuckled,

“Why don’t you come finish in her mouth?” She called out, “she looks so pretty painted in cum.”

You started to let out a laugh but it quickly morphed into a moan as Rita’s cock dragged across your g-spot, your still very sensitive pussy fluttering around it. A soft sigh escaped your lips as Rafael practically stumbled through the French doors, cock hard and throbbing in his hand, he let out a low swear at the sight of you blissed out, body still trembling on the bed as Rita lazily fucked into you.

“Well?” Rita cocked a brow, shifting you on the bed so your head was nearly hanging off the edge, “she’s ready and waiting.”

“Please…” you pouted before opening your mouth wide, your tongue out.

“Jesus.”

Even if he wanted to there was no way Rafael could resist now with you giving him puppy dog eyes, occasionally still gasping when Rita’s cock would hit the right spot. It only took a moment for him to approach the side of the bed, his cock sinking into your lips. You moaned around him, your now free hands shooting up to stroke at his balls, playing with them while he fucked your mouth. You could feel his cock twitching the moment it hit your throat, cheeks hollowing around it, a couple more thrusts and his hot cum was painting the inside of your cheeks. You made sure to suck every drop from him, Rita praising the both of you as she finally stilled in your pussy.

Only after your lips popped off Rafael’s cock and he dropped down onto the bed beside you did Rita finally slip out of you, resulting in a panted whine. She laughed softly, squeezing at your ankle as she rid herself of the strap, tossing it aside to clean later before crawling back up the bed, tossing an arm around you while she pressed a kiss into your shoulder.

“You alright?”

“Fucking peachy.” You replied with a laugh, twisting your head to steal a kiss before your hand came to tousle Rafael’s mussed hair.

“Shall I run a bath?”

“No.” you grumbled, your free hand tugging her arm tighter around you, “just shower in the morning.” You let out a yawn and she chuckled, nuzzling into your chin. “Already had a long enough day.”

“Exactly.” Rafael mumbled and you giggled, stroking at his cheek. He pressed a gentle kiss into the palm of your hand that you smiled at.

“Did you eat?”

“Yes.”

“Don’t lie to me.” You and Rita said nearly in unison and he rolled his eyes.

“No.”

“There’s leftovers in the fridge.”

“I’m really not feeling kraft dinner right now.”

“They’re leftovers from your Mami.” You laughed, nudging at his shoulder.

“How about I bring those up here with a bottle of wine and we put on a movie?” He suggested, pushing up to sitting and the two of you nodded.

“Sounds perfect.” Rita murmured, kissing at your skin again as she adjusted the blankets around you.

“You can make breakfast.” Rafael offered as she stood, tugging on a pair of sweats.

“She can order breakfast!” You insisted with a laugh, swatting at Rita’s arm when she scoffed, “I don’t know about you, but I prefer my eggs not blackened.”

“You’re lucky you’re cute.” She grumbled, pulling a shriek from you as her teeth sunk into your neck in retaliation.

“If you two would behave for once.” Rafael scolded, and you both laughed, simply snuggling into each other’s arms as Rita picked up the remote, shooing him from the room.

A few moments later, he finally returned, various containers of food and bottle of wine in tow. The three of you made yourselves comfortable after picking a movie, picking through the plates, every so often feeding each other a bite or two of food and stealing kisses until sleep was all that you could think of and everything was tossed aside to fall back into the comfy bed.

________________

@melk917 @stone-hearted-seymour @alexusonfire @nocreditinthestraightworld @holycrapraewth @1-lindsay83 @ms-calhoun @thatesqcrush @witches-unruly-heart @lannister-slings-and-arrows @drduckthief @jamiethetrans @bumblebear30 @bookpillows @swimmingstudentchaos891 @whimsicallymad @natasha-danvers

#rita calhoun #rafael barba #barhoun #barhoun x reader #law and order svu #svu #law an order #rita calhon x rafael barba x reader #rita calhoun x reader #the nanny with benefits

[floralseokjin]

⤑ made-up love song iii.

Your first encounter with Kim Seokjin doesn’t go so well, nor your second, or your third… and maybe that’s because it shouldn’t work on paper. You’re an elementary school teacher, never left the country despite hitting the third decade of your life not so long ago, and you’re unable to remember the last time you dated. He’s the dad of one of your students, nearly a decade older than you and divorced. Oh yes, and just another minor detail – he’s a multimillionaire. 

Your lives are lightyears apart, yet somehow, your paths having now crossed, things just seem to fall into place…

pairing; kim seokjin x reader  au/genre/warnings; strangers to lovers, romance, eventual smut, eventual angst, single dad! seokjin, ceo! seokjin, elementary school teacher! oc, age gap (oc is 30, seokjin is 37), seokjin is a dilf, lots of lasagne talk, flirting, kissing, fluff 🥰 words; 9,340

↪︎ chapter index

chapters; i • ii • iii • iv • v • vi • vii • viii • ix • x • epilogue (+ drabbles)

After you had time to calm down, of course you ended up telling Soojung about what happened on the date. You kept some things to yourself, mainly about how giddy you had felt throughout the whole thing, but you were sure she could see that for herself – she kept looking at you knowingly, and for once she kept the teasing down to a minimum. You ended up staying awake quite late, Soojung opening a bottle of wine. You were still excited from the date and the thought of what was to come next, but somewhere along the line, you and your best friend started getting into your feelings. (Was it really a Saturday night until you and Soojung ended it with slightly drunk sappy heart to hearts and hugs? Obviously not…) 

For the first time in a while you felt comfortable enough to open up about your love life (or lack of one) and felt it easy to talk about the past and to even bring up Donghae. He was a forbidden topic for the most part, no matter how much you were over him, but tonight had changed something. You didn’t know how to explain it, and no, it wasn’t because Seokjin was somehow the man of your dreams who had magically made things better with just one date. That was dumb and only happened in cliché Hallmark movies. 

No, it was because tonight had shown you that life goes on. No matter what rock bottom you hit, or how long it took you to get over it, no hurt was forever. You’d been single for a long time, and happy at that – after you’d gotten over the heartbreak of Donghae cheating on you – but tonight you’d had fun. You’d enjoyed yourself, enjoyed Seokjin’s company. You didn’t know what would come of your second date, or if there would be a third, but you were okay with that. You were just living in the moment, and right now you really liked that infuriating-not-so-infuriating bastard. 

You were taking a chance, just like he was, and it was actually pretty exciting…

.

.

You woke up late the next morning, something you didn’t reprimand yourself for because it was summer break after all, but also, you had a raging wine headache that had needed all the shut eye it could get. Your head was still throbbing slightly as you reached for your phone on the bedside table but seeing a text from Seokjin waiting for you made it miraculously disappear. 

Seokjin (10:28am) Hi Y/N, Thank you for such a great time last night. I can’t wait until Saturday. Would it be alright with you if I kept in touch throughout the week?  Seokjin

You giggled to yourself at his insane formalities. Why was that so adorable? But most importantly how could he be both cute and sexy at the same time? He was hellbent on making you lose your mind. You thought about teasing him, asking him when he’d grown comfortable enough to drop the Regards from yesterday, but despite how well last night had gone, and despite how much you loved joking around with him in person, over the phone seemed different. You were still a little nervous – giddy nervous, but nervous, nevertheless. Your conversation from last night with Soojung came back to you, reminding you that this was all too real. You were potentially catching feelings for this man, and it was new, and exciting, but equal parts terrifying now that you’d woken up with a hangover. 

Everything you typed out in reply seemed way too stiff, so growing frustrated, you settled on an emoji to cut through the formalities. 

You (10:49am) I had such a lovely time too, Seokjin. Of course it’s fine to keep in touch. I’m looking forward to Saturday night! 😊

What did he mean exactly about keeping in touch?, you wondered as you got out of bed, padding your way down the stairs and into the kitchen for a much needed glass of ice cold water. A good morning text? A how are you? You knew he was busy with work all week, so you weren’t expecting too much, but just knowing he wanted to stay in contact until next Saturday made you smile to yourself as you waited for his response. 

You didn’t have to wait long. 

Seokjin (10:55am) Great! I’m so excited to try your World famous Italian lasagne 😁

Cute. He’d followed your lead, ditching the last of the formalities and even signing off with an emoji instead. You instantly felt more at ease, but – 

Oh no. 

Why did he have to bring that up and remind you of your humiliating blunder? You knew what would be taking up all of your time for the few days – you needed to perfect this goddamn dish. 

Soojung on the other hand was unbothered by your predicament. Mind in the gutter as always. “Do you think that’s a euphemism for something else?” She asked straight away once you’d shown her your messages a few hours later. 

“Soojung!” You exclaimed, feeling yourself get a little hot in the face. You wish she’d stop bringing up sex, it was stressing you out. You told her as much. 

“You’re the one who’s invited him to your house for a second date.” 

You stared at her, greatly unimpressed. “You know why I invited him here.” 

You’d told her last night. You’d been hit with a surge of confidence when you’d suggested it was your turn to decide on something. In truth though, you didn’t know the first thing about restaurants, you hardly ever ate out, and when you did it was either fast food or at the food court in the department store Soojung worked at. You knew he wouldn’t have minded any choice you’d made, but that didn’t stop the slight apprehension you felt. 

It was normal, given your difference in lifestyles, and whilst that seemed to be no issue thankfully, that difference was still there. However really, that’s why you’d chosen to cook for him. Seokjin had shown you something close to him last night – the restaurant he owned with his brother, and now you were to show him something close to your heart. Something that was you. You loved cooking and baking in your spare time and you wanted to share that with him however small. Granted it was things you were confident with, but lasagne couldn’t be that hard, right? A true perfectionist, you’d master it quickly enough…

Soojung rolled her eyes. “I’m sure you could suggest McDonald’s and Dilf would be insanely happy.” She nudged you, squealing like a kid. “He’s just so into you!”

You wouldn’t bite. She was making you nervous again. “Stop calling him Dilf, he has a name.”

“Geez, sorry.” She held up her hands in apology. “Didn’t mean to offend your man.” 

You pushed her shoulder, silently telling her to quit it.

For the next few days it became your life’s goal to master the art of lasagne. Sunday night was spent googling recipes, trying to find the most authentic one. There seemed to be a lot of fuss on the right type of pasta. Flat edged would be fine, but the wavy edge was best. You made note of that. Next was the sauce. Two types. The tomato based one and then the white one – which you learned was called Bechamel. That seemed pretty easy to cook up, but the former seemed a little daunting. Every time you’d had pasta sauce in the past it had been premade, starting from scratch was giving you anxiety. Seokjin thought this was your expertise so you had to make it believable. What if you made it too salty? Too bland?

…Possibly you were thinking way too hard about this. Soojung thought the same. 

“Just buy it in a jar, Y/N, for Christ’s sake. You’re taking this way too seriously. You don’t need to learn fluent Italian to make your little white lie believable. It’s a goddamn lasagne.” 

She had a point. 

“He’d be happy with a sandwich. He’s coming over for you, not the shitty lasagne.” 

“Don’t call my non-existent lasagne shitty, you’re setting me up for failure.” You grumbled, looking at the ten tabs you had up on your laptop screen, all claiming to be the best most authentic recipe around.  

On Monday you went shopping for ingredients. You knew a small world foods store that was just outside of town, you’d been there a couple of times when you’d been baking with the children for class. With help from signposted aisles, you found what you were looking for in no time at all, so that night, you and Soojung both tucked into your first (sort of) homemade lasagne. Only the Bechamel sauces was harder to master than you’d first thought. 

“I think you added too much flour.” Soojung’s nose wrinkled as she spoke. “It’s nice, don’t get me wrong, but the white stuff… I don’t know, maybe it’s supposed to taste like that?” 

Nope, she was definitely correct, too much flour, which was odd because you were pretty positive you’d followed the right measurements… 

Tuesday you had a day off from the sight, and even the word lasagne. You met for coffee with your mom but kept the date with Seokjin a secret. Not that she pressed about your love life anymore, she’d long given up on that topic. It was nice to catch up and you made plans for a trip soon. It was hard to find time to visit her when you were in work so you were always thankful for the summer and Christmas breaks. You were her only child, so it made your time together even more precious. She’d only remarried ten years ago, and while Jonathon had kids from his first marriage, they lived abroad. They were older than you and had families of their own. You weren’t particularly close for no other reason than the distance. You’d only met them a few times but they were lovely people. Your father had remarried while you were still in high school, having two more children (a son and daughter) with his wife. You were very close to them despite the age gap and saw them as regularly as you could. Your extended family had long been the norm and you wouldn’t change it for the world. 

Wednesday you were back on the lasagne. You purchased more pasta sauce and decided on the pre-made Bechamel sauce too, just to be safe. This time around everything went smoothly, Soojung had no complaints and neither did you, but you still invited Taehyung around on Thursday for a third go. He was way more enthusiastic than your best friend, singing your praises all night. 

“Y/N, that was amazing!” He exclaimed, leaning back in his chair to pat his belly. “Dilf dick – Uh, I mean, Seokjin, is going to love it.” 

“Guys, is that what you really call him when you’re alone together?” You whined. 

“Blame Soo,” Taehyung shrugged. “She’s rubbed off on me. But, I’m right,” he smirked. “He’s going to want to give you his DD once he tastes this, if you know what I mean.” 

Wiggling his eyebrows suggestively, you looked on unimpressed. Maybe if you gave them no reaction they’d stop? 

“Oooo. I wonder what his dick even looks like. I bet it’s as handsome as his face.” Soojung squealed, sat beside her boyfriend. 

“SOOJUNG!” He cried, mouth open in disbelief. 

“Can we just stop talking about his… y’know…” You sighed, unable to say the word aloud. “Imagine if it was the other way around and he was wondering about what I looked like naked.” Soojung wouldn’t be impressed, that was for sure. 

“Fine, you’re right,” your best friend sighed. “I’m just way too excited because you finally like someone!!” She was getting loud now, she always did when she was excited. “And I want it to work out because you deserve it!” 

You chuckled. “Soo, calm down.” But you had to admit her words were sweet. You reached for her hand across the tiny table, giving it a gentle squeeze of thanks. 

“What about Barman dick?” Taehyung asked randomly, totally oblivious that you and she were having a moment. “Huh? Soo? You want my Barman dick tonight?” He wiggled his eyebrows again, a playfulness to his voice as he nudged her. 

She giggled but wasn’t having any of it. “It doesn’t really have the same ring to it, babe.” 

Highly offended he pulled away, pursing his lips. “Whatever.”

“Okay guys, let’s not have a domestic at the dining table.” You laughed. Which was a mistake because now Taehyung’s attention was back on you. 

“So, Y/N, when are you going to invite Mr. Dilf to my bar?”

You sniggered. “How about never?”

“Hey, you ladies are being very mean tonight. I complimented your lasagne.” Hm. That was true, you guessed. “What’s wrong with my bar? I think he’d love it. What does he drink? I see him as a dark rum type of guy.” 

You shrugged. “He was drinking red wine on our date last week.” It still made you feel funny to say the word date. You’d gone on a date. You were dating. A flurry of excitement found its way to your stomach, your excitement for Saturday growing. 

“Interesting,” Taehyung mused.

Soojung stood up, starting to collect your plates. “Okay, I’m washing, who’s drying?”

“Not me,” you sang. “I’ve cooked nearly every night this week.” 

Soojung eyes were wide when you met them, as if she was silently begging you. For what? “Just please promise me there won’t be any lasagne waiting for me after work tomorrow night? I’m going to turn into one at this rate.” 

Saturday arrived soon enough. You woke up the same time your phone went Bing and you knew exactly who it was. Seokjin had been texting you Good morning every day since Monday. He was no longer signing them off with his name, which was progress, and he was even adding more emojis, so you guessed you had rubbed off on him. 

Sometimes he’d drop a meme with the greeting. They were mostly to do with early mornings and workloads to which you’d tease him about because it was your summer vacation after all, you didn’t need to worry about work. But you always sent a Hope today runs smoothly his way too. You didn’t want to rub it in too much. 

Yesterday’s meme had been about dating, something about the guy trying to flirt but being garbage at it and asking if she liked cheese. You didn’t agree that was like Seokjin though – you were gradually learning that he was incredibly modest – but it had made you laugh. Only Seokjin could send you lame memes and you’d find it adorable… You were possibly whipped. 

Seokjin (8:01am)  Good morning. [Image sent] 

Today the meme was about lasagne, which made you question whether he was googling these every morning because no way had a lasagne meme popped up on his social media – if he used any at all. The realisation that he was searching for memes every day was even more endearing and your heart got a little gooey. You read the text on top of the image of lasagne. Dude, is that your new white shirt? Lemme just hop off this fork for a closer look. You genuinely laughed at that one, still wrapped up in your bed sheets. So incredibly lame, but equal levels funny. 

Seokjin (8:01am)  I will not be wearing white… I can’t wait to see you later. Just a reminder that I hope you omitted the garlic for tonight’s meal. I don’t want to embarrass myself by itching all night 😅😂

Immediately the smile dropped from your face and you shot forward, horror washing over you. Oh no. He was allergic to garlic. With the stress of perfecting the world’s best lasagne you’d totally forgotten. What were you going to do? Find a plain tomato sauce? Where the hell were you going to find one? Was that even a thing? You needed to leave now. Jumping out of bed you almost forgot to message Seokjin back. Looking at your phone again the image of the lasagne mocked you… 

.

.

Two hours later you were back at home, in need of a sit down after you’d rushed around town looking for a pasta sauce that didn’t contain garlic (very hard, by the way.) The stress had aged you about ten years. Soojung of course found it highly hilarious. 

“You’d have been in ER before 9pm,” she chortled, still in her pyjamas on the couch. She’d been still asleep when you’d dashed off, a woman on a lasagne mission. 

You ignored her. It wouldn’t have been that bad, right? He said himself he’d only be itching… Clawing off his own skin was probably better than his throat closing up… maybe… 

“How did you manage to forget?” She was still laughing. “AND you said you’d make a lasagne. Italian food always uses garlic. He must think you’re trying to kill him.” At this point you could hardly understand her, words blurring into one as she lost her shit. 

“We went over this. I wasn’t in my right mind when I said I’d cook lasagne.”

She stopped her laugher immediately.  “No way, you’re not blaming me again.” 

“Ugh.” You sighed, suddenly remembering something. “I was going to make my homemade garlic bread.” Now that was a speciality of yours. This night was going to be a disaster.

“Skip the garlic,” Soojung suggested. 

“So, just bread then.” 

She tried her best not to laugh again, not wanting to make it worse. “Yum.” 

It didn’t help. 

What did help though, was making her clean the entirety of the downstairs of the house. As the day went on you started to get more and more nervous, which was silly, but you couldn’t help it. You realised that your place was a shoe box in comparison to his, what the hell were you thinking when you’d invited him here?! It needed to be spotless, to distract him from the fact you would be eating dinner in the same place you would be cooking it… 

You knew there was no need to worry, it was just like last week when you’d grown self-conscious only to be fine once you’d set eyes on Seokjin. No doubt tonight would be just the same, he didn’t give a crap about stuff like that, so why would you even think he would? He’d probably be hurt if he knew… You just couldn’t help those little bubbles of insecurities from floating around inside your brain. You were a law unto yourself, and the garlic-less lasagne wasn’t helping. You’d had no time to prep for it. What if it tasted like cardboard? 

“Lasagne is lasagne,” Soojung reassured you, in the kitchen as you got all the ingredients together. “It’s not going to taste gross just because there’s no garlic in it. Put it this way, at least you can kiss without needing to pop a mint.” 

You whined, shaking your head, you couldn’t even dare thinking about kissing him right now. You’d spontaneously combust from anxiety. 

“Should we clean your room too?” She asked, picking up the jar of pasta sauce absentmindedly. You’d already read the label approximately fifteen times, double checking it was indeed garlic-less. 

“What? No,” you told her, voice all high-pitched. There would be no going upstairs besides from bathroom usage. “But hey,” you exclaimed, rounding on her with the spoon you were holding in your hand. “My room is always clean, bitch.”

She was the messy one.

.

.

Soojung left for Taehyung’s place at half 6, ready for Seokjin’s arrival at 7pm, a hug for good luck before you waved her off. You’d calmed greatly now, nothing like some table laying to ease some nerves. The lasagne was prepped and ready to oven cook, you had a fresh key lime pie in the fridge and you were dressed and presentable with ten minutes to spare. Wonderful. 

The doorbell rung not long after you’d made your way downstairs and you were quickly finding out that Seokjin was a very punctual man. Opening the door to reveal him stood at the porch your heart instantly warmed, skipping a beat when he gave you a dazzling smile and a soft Hey. You felt a little weak at the knees. Nope, you were not ready for tonight. 

In your tiny entryway he offered you a silver gift bag. “I didn’t know what to bring, so.” He said with a shrug as you pulled out a bottle of red wine. 

“Oh, thank you, Seokjin.” You hadn’t been expecting him to bring anything at all. It was a lovely surprise. 

“You probably have some waiting already. I’m sorry.”

“No, no, it’s fine,” you reassured him. “We’ll use this one.” You were going to use a bottle of white wine you had laying around, nothing special at all. Red wine seemed better, fancier, maybe it would go better with the lasagne?

“Are you sure?” He asked. “I was gonna get you flowers but I didn’t want to freak you out or anything.”

You laughed. What was he going on about? “Why would that freak me out?”

His smile was crooked as he chuckled quietly. “I don’t know. I’m new to this, I thought they would’ve been too forward.” 

You gave a small shrug, voice barely there when you replied. “I like flowers.”

He gazed at you, warm eyes softening as he stepped forward. “Next time.” He smiled. “Next time I’ll get you flowers.” 

You swallowed fairly loudly, averting your gaze as you outstretched your arms. “Let me take you coat.” Was it hot in here? You felt a little stuffy. 

He shrugged off the beige wool blend, revealing the tight fitting black shirt he had on underneath. It stretched over his shoulders, accentuating how broad they were, how hard his chest was and how much his waist curved inwards. The pants he was wearing didn’t help matters too. He looked effortlessly gorgeous, hair parted to the side, a piece curled above his left eye, softening the blow of his exposed forehead. You moved to hook his coat on the rack, realising you could’ve been gawping. Not that you could help it, the man was trying to kill you.

As you turned to face him again, he smiled. “You look really nice.” His voice was soft which just made it even more dangerous. “I think this may be the first time I’ve seen you in pants.” 

“Really?” You wondered. You were partial to a dress in the summer, so he was probably right. You’d chosen a pair of black skinny jeans and a patterned chiffon blouse. Nothing too fancy, but he looked at you with awe-filled eyes. Unless you were imagining it. You cleared your throat. “You look good too.”

He stepped back, arms outstretched as he looked down at himself. “Thanks. No white.” He chuckled. 

You forced yourself to laugh too, nerves creeping back just because of your stupid damn lasagne. “No white.” 

Moving forward again he took your hand. It was warm and soft, just as you remembered from last week. Who cared about the lasagne when you were this close to him? When he was looking down at you with those brown, twinkly eyes? Not you anymore. 

“I’ve been looking forward to this all week, Y/N.” 

Oh.

.

.

You invited him inside the living room first, pouring him a small (and his only because he the car) glass of wine as you chit chatted for a few minutes. Sat next to him was RJ, who you’d taken from your bedroom to join you both for the night. He wanted to say Hi, had been your opening line and Seokjin had found it hilarious, cracking up instantly. Although his “I missed you buddy, how have you been?” went rudely ignored. Maybe the alpaca was nervous… 

Ever the gentleman, he complimented you on the house, noting the décor with a fond eye. That surprised you, maybe he had played a part with the interior of his home. Well, you’d only seen the cosy family room – but it suited him very well. You knew there had been no need to be nervous when it came to inviting him into your home. There wasn’t a judging bone in Seokjin’s body. 

You talked about your weeks, yours had been fine, but of course you left out all the stress over the lasagne. Seokjin’s week on the other hand had been quite demanding, but that was nothing new he told you with an accepting shake of his hand. He was used to it by now, but he had to admit tonight’s date had made it easier this time around. He was full of the charm, not that you were complaining…

Misook was babysitting Arin tonight, he told you when you asked how she was. It was his weekend this week, he and Nana took it in turns – when she didn’t cancel, he added as an afterthought – but he seemed a lot more relaxed talking about his ex-wife this time around seeing as last weekend she hadn’t broken any promises. He was happy if his daughter was happy, and that made you smile. You remembered Arin’s sorrowful face that day her mom had cancelled on her, so you were glad they’d found time to spend time together. You also remembered how irritated Seokjin had sounded when he was opening up to you on the bench at the school fate… You wondered just how often Nana cancelled plans, and couldn’t imagine how frustrating that was for both Arin and Seokjin… You hoped this marked the start of things being easier for them now. 

Soon after that, you served him your starter (“garlic – wait, no I mean, no-garlic bread.”), and you chatted some more over that and while the lasagne baked. It was surprising how little you’d touched the sides on your first date, so tonight you covered even more bases. Family mainly. You told him about your half and step siblings, your parents’ remarriages of course coming up too. He seemed interested in that, wondering about your views on it and if it had affected you as you grew up. As a divorcee you understood the relevance to him and because he was so easy to talk to you found yourself opening up freely. 

His parents were still married and Seokjin was the youngest out of their two sons, so it was quite unheard of for the second born to take over a family company. In fact, it was the first of its kind for his, which made it even harder for him. His older brother had been the rightful heir to LG Electronics but his passion had always been in culinary arts. His parents had been kind enough to let him follow his dreams, and thankfully, for Seokjin, that meant he could follow in his father’s footsteps. He’d been eager to prove himself but it had been hard in the beginning. His status as the youngest son meant that a lot of people set him up for failure, but with his family’s love and belief he’d managed to succeed and confirm himself as the rightful CEO. You didn’t doubt it. It seemed he’d worked hard to get where he was now. That was admirable. 

The influx of information was so interesting to you and it didn’t feel real. While you could imagine Seokjin taking charge, visualising him in that tailored houndstooth suit he’d worn when you’d first met him, it was strange to think the smiley and soft-spoken man sat in front of you was from a long line of power and wealth. He should be untouchable, yet here you were able to reach for his hand across the table. Able to feel his forefinger stroking delicate patterns into your palm as you opened up and got to know one another more and more… 

“So, if your family’s a big deal, what about things like arranged marriages? Are they still a thing?” You asked, maybe confusing fiction for fact. 

Seokjin laughed at your wording. “They used to be, not so much anymore. I met my ex-wife through a friend. They concentrate less on things like that these days.” He shrugged, adding as an afterthought, “As a divorced CEO I think I’m a great example of that.” 

That was true, you thought to yourself, wondering how the breakdown of his marriage had also played a part in the stress of his early years as CEO. 

“I know it all sounds pretty crazy, but I like to think my family is just like anyone else’s.” He continued, smiling bashfully when you met his gaze. “That I’m just like anyone else.” 

You wondered how many people had immediately judged him because of his status… You’d been one of them, right? Even if you hadn’t known any of the details, you’d written him off as some obnoxious, rich guy who flaunted his wealth… You felt guilty thinking back. He was the complete opposite.

You nodded in agreement before grinning. “I’d have liked to see what college Seokjin was like.” 

“A complete nerd, to tell you the truth.” 

He answered so seriously, you didn’t know how to react, and then he was laughing loudly, cracking up at himself. You couldn’t help but join in. That’s when your stove alarm went off, shrill and incessant, signalling the arrival of the dreaded lasagne…

It turned out he loved it though. 

“This is amazing,” Seokjin praised, mouth still half full as he chewed. You did have to admit it was good. It tasted just like the original, despite the lack of garlic. Seokjin quirked an eyebrow, smirking your way. “So, how lucky am I to be able to try this World famous Italian lasagne?” 

“Very lucky.” You kept your answer short. Hoping he’d just drop it. 

He didn’t. 

“How lucky?” He tried to pry from you. “How many people have tried it?” 

You gave him a small smile, hovering your fork over the plate. Technically he was the third, but you couldn’t tell him that, could you? “I can’t disclose that.” 

He emitted a short laugh. “What about the recipe? Care to share?” 

You brushed him off with a soft chuckle. “A chef never tells her secrets.”

“Not even me?” His bottom lip jutted out as he looked across at you. 

Your heart did a little dance. He was being unfair. “Don’t pout like that, it’s making me feel guilty.” 

Thankfully the lasagne topic fizzled out after a couple more minutes, your cold sweat having time to dissipate while you chatted and ate together comfortably. However a few minutes later you noticed Seokjin fidgeting slightly in his seat. You politely ignored it to begin with, unsure if you were just imagining it, but then he started itching the back of his neck. You put your fork down, a sick feeling washing over you. “Is anything wrong?” You asked, now watching him itch up his forearm. “Seokjin?”

He looked at you in mild confusion, eyebrows creasing together as he opened his mouth. “Are you sure there wasn’t any garlic in this?” 

You swallowed away the panic racing up your throat. “I’m sure.” You’d read the back of that jar and then read it some more. “I’m positive.” 

… Weren’t you? You watched him scoot his chair back, leaning down to start scratching the back of his calves. He made noises of discomfort as he did so. 

“Oh, no…” You were up before you could stop yourself, racing around him to start hunting in the recycling for the glass jar. 

“Wait, where are you going?” 

You could hear Seokjin’s voice behind you, sounding alarmed, but you were too panicked to really take it in. You needed to be sure. This was just your second date, you couldn’t ruin things already. Turning him into one giant itchy red blob had not been your intention.  

“I was only teasing you.” Still, his words didn’t sink in. That was until you felt a hand on your elbow, tugging gently for your attention. 

You spun around, worried eyes wide – even wider when you found him so close. He was on his feet too, bent a little to level with you, pretty much within kissing distance. His voice was soft when he spoke, you found yourself distracted by his mouth. “Y/N, I was just messing around.”

You blinked, not truly understanding with all those annoying distractions zooming around your mind, but slowly you pieced his words together. Oh. Despite the relief you felt, now you just felt silly. Plus, he was still so close to you… 

You took a step back, the small of your back pressing up against the counter. You needed a clear head. “Don’t freak me out like that.” You told him, but you still sighed in relief, hand against your chest. “I thought I’d poisoned you.” 

He looked a little concerned, but you could tell by his eyes he found your reaction amusing. “I’m sorry,” he apologised. “I just wanted to make you laugh.”

“Make me laugh? You nearly gave me heart failure.” However, you gave him what he wanted, a laugh that sounded weak and shaky, but it was something – you did see the funny side. 

He joined you, shoulders relaxing now that he knew you were okay. He looked behind you, eyes on the trashcan, a bemused smile on his face. “What were you looking for anyway?”

“The jar.” You answered, as if it wasn’t obvious. You turned, deciding to fish it out anyway. Holding it up to him, you were adamant. “See, no garlic. Check.” 

He chuckled. “I already said I was joking.” He took one look at your desperate expression and gave in, taking the jar from your hand. “But if it makes you feel better…” You watched him as he read the label, silently soaking in his handsome features. He looked softer tonight, the curve of his jaw rounding as he smiled. It took you a moment to realise he was done. He handed the jar back to you, and you prayed to God he hadn’t caught you staring at him all gooey-eyed. “It’s fine.” He confirmed. “I’ll be itch free tonight.” 

You smiled and plopped the glass back inside the can. “I looked around town for hour trying to find lasagne sauce sans garlic.” 

He looked guilty. “I’m sorry for being awkward.” Then he paused, eyes narrowing, the hint of a smirk itching at the corners of his mouth. “But… Y/N, are you a fraud?” Huh? What did he mean? You didn’t need to wait long for an explanation. “I thought a certified chef would cook up a batch of her own tomato sauce.”

Oh. You’d gone and put your foot in it, hadn’t you? It was probably time to explain yourself… “I have a confession,” you began, sounding wary. Seokjin looked interested albeit it mildly confused. “I… may have told a little white lie.”

He shook his head, a puff of laughter leaving him. “You’ve lost me.” 

You took a deep breath, knowing you were going to have to spell it out for him. “I’ve never made lasagne before. Ever. In my entire life.” 

He looked confused as silence spread out between you. He sounded it too when he spoke again. “Then why did you say it was your speciality?”

You groaned, dropping your face into your hands for one dramatic moment. “I panicked.” Peeking at him, you babbled on. “I know it sounds stupid but Soojung was curtain twitching and it was stressing me out and then you were asking me what I cooked and lasagne just popped into my head!”

Seokjin blinked, his mouth twitched and then he was laughing – loudly. 

“You find it funny?” You asked, relaxing a tad. 

“Very.” He laughed harder but seeing the look of bafflement on your face he tried is best to still it. 

“I’ve been practicing it like crazy,” you whined, happy you could finally tell him all about your lasagne struggles. “This is my fourth time eating it this week. Soojung nearly killed me.” You snorted at the memory. This started up Seokjin again. “And then I forgot you were allergic to garlic. Your text reminded me this morning and I had to rush out to the grocery store.” 

He was weak at the knees at that, and you were laughing just because he was. It was contagious. “Stop,” you wailed, attempting to get a hold of yourself. This week had actually been quite traumatic. “I’m glad you find it funny, I’ve been in constant stress ever since you drove off last week.” 

“I can’t help it.” He chuckled, although he did sound apologetic. “You’re just so adorable.” The air that settled around his effortless admission made your skin prickle. When he carried on, his tone was gentle. “You know I wouldn’t have minded if you changed the menu to something else, right?” 

You pouted ever so slightly. “But you were looking forward to it.” 

He gave a small shrug. “True, but… that was more so code for ‘I’m looking forward to seeing you again.’ The food was just a bonus. I’d be happy with a Big Mac.” 

You felt your cheeks burn and you tried to shake yourself out of it. “So embarrassing,” you murmured. You didn’t know what for… The lasagne mess or the fact he could have this much of an effect of you? You were inclined to go with the latter. 

“What about the no-garlic bread?” Seokjin asked, changing the subject a little. Maybe he’d sensed your embarrassment and didn’t want to make it worse. He was sweet. “Did you make that?”

“Yeah,” you nodded. “Well, I didn’t bake the bread. I just toasted it.” It was still a speciality of yours though. “It would’ve been much tastier with the garlic.” 

He gave you an apologetic smile. “Sorry about that. This body wants to turn me into a miserable old man.” 

Pfft. Old? Miserable? He was anything but. 

“Sit,” he prompted you, smiling as he motioned with his head to the table. “Finish your World famous Italian lasagne before it grows cold.” 

As you moved he delicately cupped his hand around the curve your waist, giving it a soft squeeze before he got to his chair first. Your stomach flipped, head dizzy as you sat and tucked your chair in. Last Saturday popped into your head, the way you’d loosely held hands outside and how you were sure he’d been leaning in to kiss you – properly. 

You knew one thing. You really wanted to kiss him tonight. 

Trying to get a hold of yourself, you glanced at him, catching his eyes. He was already tucking in again, and he grinned bashfully, as if embarrassed. “This really is great. All that practice paid off.” A pause. “You should show me how you cooked it sometime.” 

Your face lit up in surprise. “You cook?” In the back of your mind you were aware that he’d probably been hinting for a third date, but you were so shocked by the possibly of Seokjin cooking you couldn’t stop yourself from asking. 

He chuckled quietly. “I mean, when I have time and can be bothered. I like cooking but it’s just easier to go to a restaurant or get it delivered.” He looked sheepish before adding, “Or Misook does it for me.” 

There was no shame when it came to that. Seokjin probably worked all hours of the day, no one could expect him to tie on an apron when he got home and start pulling out pots and pans. 

“Do you cook a lot?” He asked. 

You nodded. “Soojung and I take it in turns.” 

“So what is your speciality?” He smiled. 

This time around you were in your right mind and able to answer properly. “Veggie tacos.” 

He raised his eyebrows, impressed. Then he tried again. “Can you make them for me sometime?”

He was persistent, you’d give him that. You shrugged, trying your best to sound impassive but the little smirk gave it away. “Maybe if you say please…” 

He laughed, leaning forward, a hand clasping yours as he tilted his head. The piece of curled hair falling into his left eye. “Please?”

Your heart did another little dance inside your chest. 

.

. 

After dessert you both made your way back to the living room, settling on your couch with two pomegranate mocktails Taehyung had prepared for you yesterday. All you had to do was add the pomegranate juice and lemonade to the ice cubes and crushed lime segments and mint before serving, easy-peasy. Seokjin was highly impressed, but of course you couldn’t take the credit. It was all down to your best friend’s very helpful barman boyfriend. 

You were glad Seokjin wanted to stay as you didn’t want the night to be over yet. It had flown by so fast and you’d had so much fun. You already felt like you knew him better, even after only two dates. It was strange to you, how you could feel so relaxed in a stranger’s company, but then again, you guessed he wasn’t a stranger anymore… Plus, he was so easy to talk to, so interesting to get to know…. Everything between you two came easy. 

Like opening up to him, being a bit more vulnerable… 

“I’ve been slightly nervous all week,” you admitted, clutching your drink to you before chuckling softly. “– and not just about the lasagne faux pas…” 

“There was no need to be nervous. I thought we left all that behind on the first date,” Seokjin reassured, smiling warmly your way. 

You were sat together, turned to face one another. It was intimate and cosy. He had one leg lifted, the ankle resting on the knee of the other leg, and where his pants had ridden up, you could see an inch or so of his calf before it met the black cotton of his sock. For some reason, you found that very, very sexy. Maybe you had been single for far too long. 

“We did,” you agreed, hesitating slightly. “It’s just… I haven’t done anything like this in so long.” 

You didn’t even think you’d ever invited someone around for dinner before. You were still quite young when you found yourself in a relationship with Donghae so your dates before him had been very basic. Your dates with him hadn’t really classed as such just because you became official fairly quickly, and your dates after him, well, it was already known that they had been few and far between. 

“You already know we’re in the same boat,” he smiled before chuckling bashfully. “No, but really, when I asked you for dinner that day at the fate I was expecting you to turn me down.” 

“How come?”

He looked down at his drink, lifting a shoulder. “I thought you’d think that I was crossing a line… or maybe the spark I was feeling was all in my head and in reality you just found me really annoying.” 

That was cute. He’d been doubting himself. Human after all. Not that you’d ever thought he wasn’t. You still didn’t miss the opportunity to joke around though. “I mean, both can exist simultaneously.” He taking a sip of his mocktail when you replied so he ended up snorting into his glass, amused by your wit. 

A moment or so passed and Seokjin gazed at you, smiling softly. If he kept this up, you’d be a puddle on your parquet flooring. “So, tell me,” he hummed. “How did I luck out so good?” You raised an eyebrow, wondering what he meant. “How come an amazing person like you isn’t married or in a relationship?”

He must’ve seen the slight shock on your face and panicked instantly. “Is that a weird thing to ask? I feel like it is. I apologise.”

“No,” you insisted, sitting up a little straighter. He followed. “No, it’s not.” You wanted to open up to him. You really did. You just didn’t know where to start. Although, it was pretty simple. “I’ve been single for a while.” 

“How long?” Seokjin was instantly focused, attentive, noticing the change in your body language. 

“Three years. My last relationship didn’t end very well.” You paused, wondering if you should continue. But then… It had been a massive part of your life. No matter how much time had passed and no matter how okay you were now, it had still happened. And Seokjin, he had trusted you enough to open up about his divorce – even before you’d gone on your first date. You wanted to talk about it. You really did. 

“I found out my fiancé was cheating on me.”  

Seokjin’s eyes widened, unable to cloak his surprise. He hadn’t been expecting that. “I’m sorry to hear that,” he said sincerely. 

“It’s fine,” you smiled. “It was rough getting over it. Took me a while, but it is what it is. It’s in the past now.” 

“Did it put you off dating?” 

You were pleasantly surprised to find it was actually easy to talk to Seokjin about this. Your mouth was opening before you had to think about it. “I mean, at first. I was still very much in love with him, even after he broke my heart. But I got over him and I started dating again – briefly – It just didn’t feel right.” You stopped to smile. “It’s been over a year and I can’t say I missed it… but you…” Nerves growing, you pushed them away. “You’ve changed that. I’m having fun.” 

Seokjin’s face lit up and he chuckled. “I did hit second date status after all.” 

“You did…” 

“So,” he leaned closer, a small smirk on his face. “You could say, hitting your car that day wasn’t actually my fault because it was supposed to happen.” 

You snorted as you laughed, head falling against the back of the couch. “I wouldn’t go that far.” 

He made a sound. “But we wouldn’t have met otherwise.” 

“We would!” You exclaimed. “The parent-teacher meeting.” 

He blinked, feeling dumb. “Oh, yeah.” 

It wouldn’t have had the same effect, granted, but you would have become acquainted with one another regardless. “Would you have still liked me?” You asked without thinking, surprising yourself. 

“Yes,” he replied immediately. “I was instantly attracted to you after all, it’s just…” Instantly attracted? Definitely a charmer... “There would’ve been no way for me to get to know you like I did.”

You narrowed your eyes. “You’re really adamant that you had to reverse into my car to make this work, huh.”

He shrugged casually. “It was the only way.” 

You laughed quietly, finishing the last of your drink. Time was getting on, it was pretty late, Seokjin had already finished his, you watched him sit up to lean forward and place the glass on your coffee table. His shirt tightened across his shoulder blades and you could see his back muscles as he stretched. Oh.  

Settling back into the same position, he looked over at you and grinned. His teeth were perfect. Did this man have zero flaws? Why were you so whipped? It was embarrassing. 

“I had fun tonight,” you told him, trying to keep a lid on whatever was going on with you right now. 

He seemed pleased with that, nodding his head. “I’m happy to hear that you think I’m a fun person.” 

You scoffed, body falling closer to his. Your shoulders brushed together. Seokjin didn’t take his eyes off you. “Hm. I don’t think I said that.” 

“Hey, don’t be so mean.” He murmured, one side of his mouth quirking up. 

Like you couldn’t stop yourself, your hand reached for the collar of shirt. He had the top two buttons loose and your pinkie finger brushed against his collarbone. Sparks flew, but you tried to ignore them. “I thought you liked it when I was mean.” You teased, voice low. 

Seokjin hummed, his eyes still twinkled like they always did but there was something else to them, a depth that made you feel funny. He sunk closer to you. So close you could study the thick curve of his eyelashes, notice that both his eyelids were different. He really did have beautiful eyes. You could stare at them forever. 

Preoccupied, you slowly realised that he was watching you too, studying your features in the golden glow of the floor lamp that hovered over the couch. His lips parted, you heard them rather than saw it, but then your attention was on them again. Just like it had been earlier on in the night. He was staring at yours too as he spoke. “I wanted to kiss you last week.” 

You heartbeat quickened but you tried to keep cool. “You did kiss me.” You laughed. 

He sighed. “On the cheek.”  

You lightly tugged his collar, fingertips now brushing the skin of his chest. “Isn’t that what you said you wanted to do?”

You could feel his own heartbeat against your forearm that was pressed into him. It was definitely running a little faster than it was supposed to – stronger. “Yes, but…” He glanced up to your eyes. “I was just being polite. I wanted to kiss your lips.”

It felt like you were holding your breath. Maybe you were, you just couldn’t think straight. Time seemed to stretch out, but you knew what you wanted. So you went after it. Giving him a small smile, you replied. “Maybe I wanted that too.” 

He swallowed, voice so low now it was barely a murmur. “Is that an invitation?” His eyes bounced to your lips again, then back to your eyes as he asked permission. “Can I kiss you?”

You ever so slightly dragged your bottom lip beneath your teeth as you nodded, breath catching in your throat as Seokjin leaned forward and closed the distance between you. The hand in between your bodies moved to delicately hold the wrist of your arm against his chest, holding you there as his other hand reached for your jaw, angling your face to press a kiss to your mouth. His eyes were already closed so you followed. 

He hummed at the contact, his lips soft and warm and you let yourself sink. His actions were light at first, faint as he kept constant pressure, as if he was familiarising himself with the sensation. You couldn’t even let yourself think about how this was the first kiss you’d shared with someone for a very long time. All that was going through your mind was how good it felt to be touched like this by him. 

He readjusted the hand on your face, tucking some hair behind your ear to cup your cheek. You liked that. You liked it when he touched you, and he eased from your mouth completely before coming back with a firmer pressure. It was your turn to make a sound; a tiny gasp as your lips began to move together ever so slowly. He liked that, a hum of satisfaction vibrating against the soft skin of your lips. You clutched at his shirt, gathering the crisp cotton in your fist, that would surely turn it creased, but he didn’t seem to mind. He was too preoccupied with reaching for the glass you’d forgotten was hugged to your body by your free hand. 

He unclasped it from your fingers and had no choice but to break away from your mouth to put it next to his on the coffee table. You whined, attempting to tug him back to you, and he chuckled, taking a hold of one of your hands. “I’ll be back,” he whispered, leaning forward to place the cocktail glass down. 

And he was. 

This time he used both of his hands to grasp your face and dive back in. He was more confident this time, moving in such a way his lips pried yours open. You reached for his shoulders, grasping them to hold him closer and this time you both made noises – sweet, quiet ones that worked beautiful together as your lips moulded with gradual urgency. 

When your hands found the nape of his neck, fingers through his hair, he had to drag the tip of his tongue across your bottom lip, seeking entry. You met it with yours, tasting hints of pomegranate and lime with each wash of tongue. A hand of his slipped down to your side, stroking up and down the curve as if he couldn’t help but to touch you. He settled at your hip after a moment, the other splayed against the side of your neck, his thumb rolling small circles under your cheekbone. 

This was getting addictive. You could tell by the way you moaned softly against each warm, wet curl of his tongue. This was everything you’d imagined and more – because you had imagined it. Late and secretly at night when you were trying to drift off to sleep and thoughts of lasagne were banished… You were glad your first kiss was here, inside, on your couch, because this wasn’t something for the open, your knees wouldn’t have been able to hold you up. 

You could have kissed him forever, you mean, you definitely didn’t want it to stop but you pretty much had to. Breathing was a necessity, right? If you couldn’t breathe you wouldn’t be able to ever kiss Seokjin again and that would be absolutely awful… 

You did it the right way though – gradually. Seokjin slowed it right down, only hints of his tongue left as he hummed indulgently, like he was savouring your taste before he had to inevitably pull away. It made your insides jump around like crazy, hearing him enjoying himself, and you tried your best to come to when he started easing the pressure of his lips, pressing small, chaste kisses to them instead as you ultimately (but slowly) broke apart. 

You opened your eyes, blinking up at him, hands falling from his hair, aware you had become one with your cushions. You struggled to free yourself as he sat back and you watched him smile fondly at you. His breath was shaky – so was yours, and you were sure his hands trembled slightly as one reached up to scratch the back of his neck. His neck that was blotched with red, flushed, travelling to his cheeks. They were rosier than you’d ever seen them before. Your gut stirred. 

“I’ve been dreaming of that,” he told you, before making a face at himself. “Too cringey?” 

You giggled – it sounded foreign. “Just a bit.” But didn’t deter the fact you loved it. 

You warmed when you felt him squeeze your hip, realising his hand was still there and you reached for it, tangling your fingers with his. He pulled them to his mouth, kissing your knuckles softly. His expression was thoughtful when he lowered your hands. “In all seriousness, thank you for giving me a chance, after well, you know, everything.”

You smiled, touched by his earnestness, but it was hard to keep a sane mind when his lips were as kiss bitten as they were – deep pink and glistening. You wanted to kiss his face off. 

“It’s no problem,” you quipped, as if you were doing him a favour. 

He chuckled tenderly, and luckily for you he was unable to stop himself from kissing you again. He reached forward, hooking a finger under your chin to press his mouth to yours softly. “I’d really love if we could keep on doing… this.” He murmured. 

“The dating or the kissing,” you grinned, stealing another kiss in the process. 

“Hm,” he contemplated. “Both preferably.” 

And then you were on one another again, eager once more. 

Although, you did manage to pull away briefly to tell him something, his mouth moving to the side of your face to kiss there instead as your hands dragged down his back. You were somehow able to get the words out – ones that made him laugh against your wet jaw. 

“I’m so glad you hit my car.” 

Written 2020 - 2021.  Please refrain from posting my work elsewhere. No translations allowed. © floralseokjin 2021

#seokjn fanfic #bts fanfic #jin fanfic #floralseokjin:writings #fic:mls

[snelbz]

Tempting the Fates {Chapter 8}

Summary: It’s the final semester of Aelin Galathynius’ collegiate career and she is so beyond ready to be done. Her schedule is packed full of nursing classes and labs designed to test her knowledge and hone her skills for the real world and her “big girl” job. However, she needs one last elective to graduate, so she decides to study a subject she’s always been fascinated by: Mythology. Who would have thought that a class about gods and goddesses living complicated lives would end up complicating her own in such an unexpected way?

A @snelbz X @theladyofdeath collaboration.

Word Count: 2752

Chapters will be posted every Wednesday.

Tempting the Fates Masterlist

Shelby’s Masterlist

Tara’s Masterlist 

***Announcement! *** After the completion of I’ll be Seeing You and Tempting the Fates, all of Tara and I’s joint fanfiction will be posted on a separate blog that we run together > @snacmc. Be sure to follow the new blog as we will start posting on there soon!

Athena

– Goddess of wisdom, reason, intelligent activity, literature, handicrafts and science, defense and strategic warfare

Rowan felt ridiculous.

He had spent the last hour cleaning his apartment and was currently pulling all of the food out that was meant to be prepared for dinner.

Steak, carrots, green beans, potatoes, a wide range of spices.

Thanks to the internet, Rowan knew what to do with them all.

It’s not like it was that big of a deal - Lorcan and Elide were joining him and Aelin for dinner.

And although he had hosted Lorcan and Elide a million times for dinner, Rowan had never cooked, nor had he introduced them to someone he was crazy about.

And he was crazy about Aelin.

She didn’t have classes on Fridays, something he wished he had been smart enough to plan when he was in college, so she’d done his grocery shopping while he was teaching all day. When he got home, he was expecting her to still be there. But his apartment was empty.

I have to get ready, she’d explained when he called her. I wasn’t expecting Lorcan the other night, but I have to impress Elide.

“You could have gotten ready here. You shower here all the time.”

We have sex in the shower, I don’t use it for functional purposes. Not yet anyway.

So here he was, laptop open to a recipe for pan-seared steak, making sure he had everything he needed.

Aelin had promised she’d be here before Lorcan and Elide, and he had been hoping to impress her with his skills in the kitchen, too, even if they were rough.

Now he was hoping not to set the smoke alarms off as he turned the stove on and put way more butter than he was used to using in the cast iron pan.

As it began to melt, he was already considering his meal a success.

Just as he was dropping the steaks into the pan, the front door opened and Aelin was letting herself in.

“Follow the sound of the sizzling,” he called, and Aelin came into view a second later.

She whistled, brows raised. “I like a man in the kitchen.”

Rowan laughed as he met her halfway, giving her a kiss. “Hopefully you still like it after you eat what I make.” Another kiss. “You look beautiful.”

She scoffed. “I’m wearing leggings and a top.”

“And you look beautiful in them,” he replied, turning back to the stove. “Just like you do in everything.”

“You’re a shameless flirt,” she said, beginning to chop the vegetables. But he saw the blush creep across her cheeks and ears.

Although they were cooking a homemade meal, he’d made sure she knew this wasn’t going to be anything fancy.

Elide would never let me live it down.

Rowan had always got along well with Elide, although he had absolutely no idea how she ended up with Lorcan. Rowan loved his oldest and closest friend, but he was a natural asshole.

Elide was the opposite.

“I have to confess,” Aelin began, nibbling on her bottom lip. “I’m a little nervous.”

Rowan’s brows rose. “Why?”

“Well, these are the people we’re going to be spending a lot of time with, I assume, since they’re two out of four people that know about us.” She gestures between the two of them. Their unorthodox relationship. “If she’s as sweet as you say she is, I’m worried my sarcastic ass will offend the woman.”

Rowan couldn’t help the laughter that shook his body. “Do I need to remind you that she’s been with Lorcan for the last five years?”

Aelin whistled. “Five years and still no ring? That gives me good material to ruffle Lorcan with.”

He froze and glanced over a shoulder at her. “Maybe don’t bring that up.”

Aelin was instantly grateful she had mentioned it now, and not in front of Lorcan directly. “Why?”

“Lorcan is…” Rowan trailed off as he flipped one of the steaks over. “He’s complicated. He’s not great with commitment. Elide is the only girl he’s been in a real relationship with as long as I’ve known him.”

“And how long is that?” Aelin asked, transferring the chopped veggies into a baking dish.

“We’ve been best friends since elementary school.”

Aelin’s eyes widened. “Oh. Wow. Okay, I won’t bring up anything to do with weddings or babies or any other lifelong commitments.”

“Good idea,” Rowan chuckled. “It may not seem like it, but as of now, Lorcan likes you. Imagine how cranky of an ass he would be if you got on his bad side.”

“Almost as bad as it is for someone who gets on mine,” Aelin grinned, and that mischief sent a thrilling chill down Rowan’s spine.

He opened his mouth to respond, to say something along the lines of lets do it right here, right now, before they get here, but a single knock sounded on the door.

Aelin whistled. “Even Lorcan’s knock is grumpy.”

“It’s also early,” Rowan mumbled, setting the tongs he’d been using down beside the stove and heading for the door. On any other occasion, Lorcan would have let himself in, like usual, but he knew how important this night was. Or at least was to Rowan.

He opened the door and found Lorcan grimacing, while the petite girl with dark hair was bouncing from foot to foot.

“Is she here?” Elide asked, grin growing. “Or do I have time to grill you about this alone before she shows up?”

“I’m afraid you’ll have to grill us both,” Aelin said, appearing from the kitchen, a smile on her face.

As Rowan shut the door behind them, Elide’s mouth popped open into a little O and her eyes narrowed.

Aelin’s grin grew. “Hello, Elide.”

“Aelin,” she breathed. “Aelin Aelin? As in…Aelin?”

“I’m guessing it was the same Elide,” Lorcan mumbled, carrying a covered dish into the apartment. “Elide made dessert.”

With that, he was going into the kitchen to place it on the table.

The two women ran towards each other and embraced. Rowan kept his mouth shut as he watched the scene unfold.

Elide stepped back. “You don’t seem as surprised as me. Why don’t you seem as surprised as me?”

“Lorcan told me where you were from and how you moved around last time I was graced with his presence.” Aelin shrugged, that grin remaining. “I had a hunch, but wasn’t sure. Besides, if it did end up being you, I wasn’t sure you’d remember me.”

Elide turned and glared at her boyfriend. “A little heads up would have been appreciated.”

He was already halfway to the fridge, heading for a beer he knew Rowan would have restocked for them. “What she said. I didn’t want to get the story wrong or your hopes up.”

Rolling her eyes, Elide looked back to Aelin. “Men.”

Ending up back in the kitchen, Aelin finished up the veggies and was putting them in the oven when Elide asked, “So Aelin, how exactly did you two meet?”

Aelin glanced at Rowan and then back towards Elide. She was sipping her wine as she leaned against the counter, looking like the picture of innocence. Lorcan was shaking his head where he stood next to her.

Clearing her throat softly, she took the safe route. “In class.”

Elide’s eyes lit up. “So he really is your professor.”

“I thought that had been established,” Rowan mumbled, covering the steaks with foil to rest before they ate.

“I wasn’t sure if you two were just trying to mess with me again,” she said, eyeing Lorcan and Rowan. Turning to Aelin, she said, “I’m so glad I won’t be the only girl anymore. You have no idea how awful it is being the third wheel with these two.”

“You’re the third wheel with these two?” Aelin asked, brow raised.

Elide barked a laugh. “Absolutely. The more time you spend around these lovebirds, you’ll see what I’m talking about. Their bromance is out of control.”

“Bromance, huh?” Aelin grinned as Rowan rolled his eyes.

“It’s cute, really,” Elide said, then slowly shook her head as she met Aelin’s eyes. “Wow. I just can’t believe it’s you. It’s good to see you.”

“You too,” Aelin said, and Lorcan cleared his throat from where he stood on the other side of the room.

“Are we done with sappy pleasantries?” He asked. “I came to eat.”

Elide pointed to the oven, where the vegetables were still roasting. “Five more minutes in the oven, but you and Rowan can set the table if you don’t feel like hearing us talk.”

She gave him a brilliant smile, which he scowled at, but Rowan indeed clapped a hand on his friend’s shoulder and led him from the room.

“Are you still close with Aedion? How is he?”

Elide asked, perching on one of the bar stools as Aelin refilled their wine glasses and stirred the pot of mashed potatoes on the stove.

“Yeah, he practically lives with me,” Aelin replied rolling her eyes affectionately. “He’s dating my best friend, and graduates in the spring, like me.”

“What’s he studying?” Elide asked, then added. “I thought he was older than us.”

“He is, by two years. He took a year off to find himself,” Aelin snorted, holding up air quotes. “Then he changed his major twice, which gave him a few unexpected setbacks. But he’ll have a degree in sports medicine and will be going back at some point to get his specialization in physical therapy.”

“I remember him being big into sports,” Elide nodded. “Good for him.”

“And you?” Aelin asked, leaning her elbows on the counter. “College not the path for you?”

“Oh no,” Elide said, chuckling. “I went for a few months before deciding it wasn’t for me. I started serving and making good tips, so I didn’t pursue anything else until recently. About a year ago I started getting really into pottery. I started my own little business a couple months ago, that I do for just a little extra cash and for the hell of it.”

“Really?” Aelin asked, brow raised. “That's incredible. What do you make?”

Elide opened her mouth to speak, but it was Lorcan that said. “Vases, mostly. She’s incredibly talented.”

Aelin hadn’t even heard them come back in, but as if on cue, the timer behind her went off. She turned to pull the vegetables out of the oven, but glanced back over her shoulder and Elide, who was smiling softly at Lorcan. “You’ll have to show me,” she said, setting the baking dish on a trivet. “I’d love to buy one.”

Elide’s smile was almost as radiant as she was.

*

“Okay. No more ordering in when we come over,” Elide said, setting her fork and knife down on her nearly empty plate. “You’re cooking from now on, Rowan.”

Everything had been delicious, even if the potatoes had been instant. Rowan was pretty damn proud of himself. “Aelin helped,” he said, his hand finding her knee under the table.

“Then you better keep her, because that was delicious and take out isn’t going to cut it anymore.” Elide sipped from her wine and winked at Aelin from across the table.

“Even I can’t protest that,” Lorcan said, throwing his arm around the back of Elides chair.

“And I didn’t help that much,” Aelin said, holding her hands up. “Rowan started cooking this afternoon. I just put veggies in the oven.”

“Well, either way, it means Lor and I are on clean up duty. You two go relax,” Elide said, and rose, beginning to pick up plates.

Lorcan groaned but followed his girlfriend’s lead, nonetheless.

Aelin laughed quietly as she took Rowan’s hand and pulled him into the living room.

“I like the hold she has over him,” Aelin said, once they were alone. “It’s inspiring.”

Rowan hummed as he put an arm around her and pulled her against his side. “That’s a great way to describe Elide. Inspiring.”

Aelin thought of the murky memories she had of the young girl. She’d moved to Perranth right around the time Aelin’s own parents had died. Sadly, that move had been prompted by the same reason. Elide’s parents had also passed and her uncle had received full guardianship of her, and he lived in Perranth. Rather than uproot his life, he decided to uproot Elide’s. She had been too young for a cell phone, so there had been no way to stay in touch at the time, but Aelin was glad to see her back in Orynth. She was sure Aedion would be happy to hear about it, too.

“I think she likes you,” Rowan murmured, his lips by her ear.

Her laughter was soft as she rested her head against his shoulder. “I’d hope so. She’s known me since we were children.”

Rowan scoffed. “That means nothing. I’ve known

Lorcan since we were children and half the time

I hate him.”

Aelin’s head fell back as she laughed a little louder. “Well, that’s understandable. But me? I’m a peach.”

“Yeah, you are,” he whispered, and kissed her, softly. She held onto him a little bit tighter, and she couldn’t help but think how perfectly the night had gone.

If only the people who currently knew about their relationship would be the only people that knew about their relationship, Aelin wouldn't mind it. At least, not for a while.

“Elide was right, though,” Aelin muttered. “Your food is delicious. I’m continuously impressed by you.”

He shook his head and laughed quietly. “Thank the Internet. I can just follow directions well.”

The two fell into silence as they listened to Lorcan and Elide’s banter from the kitchen, and Aelin couldn’t help but laugh. It was clear they had been together for a while, with how comfortable they were, and Aelin was happy for them, if not a little bit jealous. She knew it was something that couldn’t be rushed, but feeling like that with someone, like that someone was home, was something she hadn’t experienced in a while.

“He’a different around her,” Aelin quietly mused as Lorcan’s deep rumble of laughter reached them from the other room.

Rowan nodded slowly. “Their story isn’t mine to tell, but… He helped her out of a dark place, but she also saved him, in her own way.”

She understood that. Hopefully, she and Elide would become close enough that she’d feel like she could open up to her.

It’d be nice to have another girlfriend, like Lysandra.

“You should come over one night this week,” Aelin said, looking up into his face. “So you can get to know Aedion and Lysandra.”

His eyes narrowed slightly. “I think Lysandra and I got a good start on that in class.”

Aelin grinned as she framed his face with her hands. “She’s a little extra, but so am I, so you shouldn’t mind that too much.”

Rowan scrunched his nose but sighed. “I guess that would be fine…considering they already know about us.”

“Kind of hard to hide from my best friend and roommate,” Aelin muttered. “And obnoxious cousin.”

“We could always go up north for a weekend, too,” Rowan suggested. “With Lor, Elide, and Lysandra and your cousin. I have a cabin there.”

“Of course you do.” Aelin rolled her eyes. “Spoiled, rotten rich kid.”

There was a flash of hurt in his eyes, but before she could ask about it, or even begin to apologize, Elide was sweeping into the room. “Dinner is all cleaned up and I still have room for dessert. Anyone else?”

“Depends on what it is,” Rowan smirked, his arm still around Aelin. That hurt was gone and Aelin wondered if she’d imagined it. “Not your attempt at a crockpot apple pie again, is it?”

“That was one time and had too little liquid. My crockpot was too large,” she huffed, but crossed her arms. “It’s a triple chocolate cake, actually.”

Aelin’s interest was immediately piqued. “Oh, there’s always room for chocolate cake.”

Elide grinned and took her hand, pulling her off the couch and into the kitchen. Lorcan took a seat on the other side of the couch and sighed.

“The two of them together is terrifying.”

Rowan smiled. He was sure they could get into some trouble, but it was nothing he and Lorcan wouldn’t be able to handle.

He was happy, he realized, trying to shove back the dark memories he’d accidentally dredged up. He was happier than he’d been in years, and Aelin was the reason.

He just prayed nothing happened to end that happiness.

#tempting the fates #snacmc ttf #rowaelin ttf #throne of glass #rowaelin #snacmc collab

[boldlyvoid]

Sugar, Honey, Ice Tea | Chapter 5-9

1Summary: Fix-it-fic: Dr. Y/L/N and Savannah Hayes have been best friends since their medical internship at Bethesda General. When she receives a frantic call that Derek's best friend is being transferred to the prison she works at, an unlikely friendship bubbles.

Eventually falling head over heels for the innocent man.

Warnings: Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Prison, Prison Violence, Assault, Blood, Depression, Murder, Self-Hatred, Hurt Spencer Reid, Canon-Typical Violence, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Drug Addiction, References to Drugs, Drug Use, Idiots in Love, Mutual Pining, Romantic Tension, Forbidden Love, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Strangers to Lovers, Requited Love, Falling In Love, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn, Eventual Smut, past abusive relationship, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault

Word Count: 14.3K

1-4, 5-9, Epilogue

Chapter 5

Spencer agreed to a Thursday night game night in her office sometime last week, and she’s spent every day since then planning it out for him.

Learning that he really loved Tandoori chicken, making it from scratch at home and packaging it into a couple containers to bring into work. She followed a recipe from Pinterest, hoping it bared any resemblance to what he was used to, only changing full chicken to boneless bite size cutlets, because he couldn’t use a knife in the prison.

She got a chess set at the store, as well as a deck of playing cards for the Vegas boy. Rushing out her door early Thursday morning so she could stop and get a coffee and one of his favourite doughnuts too.

Deciding that she wasn’t going to tell him how she felt any time soon, just wanting to show him friendship and support until he was finally out of prison. Vowing to uphold her oath, he was a patient in her care, she would care for him as such until he wasn’t.

She carefully placed her lunchbox and the chess set on the security desk, letting them look through it as she waited. Taking out all the food from her bag, looking through the plastic to ensure she wasn’t sneaking in anything.

“It’s just my lunch for the next 2 days, I promise,” she smiled.

“I know, but I have to look anyway,” the nice man smiled. “Have a good day today Dr. Pat.”

“Thank’s, you too, officer Kyle,” she smiled, picking her things back up and heading past the gates.

Spencer was turning the corner towards the infirmary as she walked towards the door. Officer Wilkins holding him in handcuffs as he roughly walked Spencer to her office.

“Hey, hey, hey,” she stopped, looking at Wilkins like he was an idiot. “Un-cuff inmate Reid, he’s not a threat. Plus, he can hold some things for me.”

“Whatever,” he huffed, roughly taking the cuffs off Spencer's wrists before leaving. Not saying another word.

“What a dick,” she mumbled as she handed him the lunchbox.

“Good morning Spencer,” she changed her tone to match her growing smile.

He sighed, smiling back as he rubbed his wrists. “Good morning to you too, Y/N.”

She opened the infirmary door, walking past all the sleeping men in the care area. Unlocking her office before inviting Spencer in. “Sorry I was almost late,” she said softly, taking the chess set and a brown paper bag out of her purse.

She set it on Spencer's desk along with the coffee that was in her hand, “for all your help this week,” she smiled.

Spencer placed her lunchbox in her fridge, laying a hand on her back as he walked past her towards his desk. “You’re too kind to me,” he was bashful as always.

“I have something I wanted to talk to you about,” she closed the door softly, making sure the blinds on the doors window were closed as well.

“That doesn’t sound good,” he tried to joke as he sat down.

“I asked to help with your case, maybe give a fresh opinion, so Penelope sent me all the files but I haven’t opened them yet,” she sat on the edge of her desk. Trying to read his body language as he took out his donut.

He liked the pink frosting off his finger, nodding as he followed along. “Why not?”

“I wanted your permission,” she pressed her lips together in an awkward smiled. His eyes raising to meet hers, innocent as ever.

“Oh?”

“You’re very reserved, you have rules about what you share, I don’t want to break the trust we’ve built by looking into something so intimate,” she explained her thoughts. “It’s not fair for me to learn about the worst thing that’s ever happened to you, without you being the one to tell me.”

“What do you know already?” He asked softly, blinking at her as he patiently waited.

She smiled at him softly, grateful that he understood. “I know the 3 charges that you’re in on, and that you’re being framed.”

“I think I would prefer it if you read the file and just asked me questions. I don’t think I have the mental capacity to recite it all back to you today,” he was honest. Taking a sip of his coffee and looking away from her.

Giving up so much of himself to her so early in the day, she felt like he was finally comfortable with her.

She found the key to his thoughts and it opened just right, she could see the hurt that flowed through him, but she could also see the happiness. The side of him that he was afraid to bring out, in fear it would get him in more trouble.

“Okay,” she agreed. Sitting at her desk and finally opening the email form Penelope.

She read through his tox-screens, his drug history, his mental state. His first-hand accounts, witness statements, clues and findings his team had made. It all felt like the plot to a bad movie about revenge, possibly even female rage. But for what?

“I finished reading,” she said softly, brows furrowed as she chews the inside of her cheek. “Do you know anyone other than this Mr. Scratch guy who you’ve put away, wronged, lead on, or just pissed off?”

“Why?” He asked, clearly attached to the idea this was all Mr. Scratch’s doing.

“It feels like revenge, but very well planed. Like a women is mad at you so she found your weakness, I’ve done mean shit to exes in the past but this is insane. They knew you’d do anything for your mom, they knew your drug history, and the fact you might get schizophrenia one day, they wanted to drug you and make you think you did all this.”

Spencer stood then, listening to her words as he scrunched his face. Thinking as hard as he could, “can you call Penelope?”

“Yeah,” she nodded as she dialled her number, putting her on speaker phone.

“Well hello there, Love Doctor,” Penelope teased as she answered.

“Um hi, Spencer wanted to talk to you,” she panicked.

“Oh, sorry, how are you Spencer?”

Spencer looked so confused, “I’m good… Y/N and I were looking at the case files you sent-”

“Good, did you find anything?” Penelope cut in, eager to talk to him.

“Have you looked into everyone I’ve ever encountered on a case? Specifically women?” Spencer asked. “I told my lawyer and Emily that I remember a woman being there and helping, she must know me from a case too, like the other prison escapees he’s helped?”

“On it pretty boy, any specifics about her that you remember?” Penelope asked over the sound of her keyboard clicking away.

“Long brown hair, but it’s probably different now,” he added. “Everything else is dark, I didn’t see her face or any other features.”

“Alright, call me anytime Spence, I miss you,” Penelope said softly, changing her tone to a more sensitive one. “Take care of each other, my loves.”

“Love you,” they say at the same time. Looking at each other awkwardly after she hung up, leaving them to sit with their words alone.

Spencer was leaning so close to her she could feel his body heat radiating off him. Spencer placed his hand on her shoulder as he stood straight, towering over her as she looked up at him.

“I have patients to talk to, but I brought chess for you to teach me later,” she smiled up at him.

“Can’t wait,” he beamed a smile back.

She felt his hand rub the back of her blue scrubs lightly, pulling away as he walked back around to his desk. She watched him with careful eyes, wishing he would have stayed longer.

—

Normally at 4:30, Y/N would bring Spencer a tray of whatever the kitchen was serving her patients for dinner that night. Tonight, however, she walked into her office at 5 pm on the dot, closing the clinic for the night and putting all her attention on Spencer.

“So,” she smiled as she leaned against her office door, excitement radiating out of her. “A little birdie told me that you really like Indian food, Tandoori chicken to be exact…”

“No way?” He gasped as he turned around in his chair.

She nodded with a cheeky grin, “homemade so I could sneak it in.”

She took her lunch box out of her mini-fridge, opening it up to show him the 2 Tupperware containers. One for him, the other for her. She took the lids off and dished it onto 2 plates she keeps in the cabinet above the fridge.

Spencer grew more and more excited as she warmed it up, filling the room with a familiar smell. He was so happy, “I don’t know how to thank you for everything you do for me?”

“Come here,” she said softly, watching him walk towards her carefully.

She wrapped her arms around his middle, holding him in a hug. He carefully placed his hands on her back, holding her against his chest as he snuggled his cheek into her hair again.

“I’ll take hugs as payment from now on,” she pulled back from him as the microwaved beeped.

Taking a plastic spoon from the cutlery jar, she opened the microwave and handed him a plate. “Did you want to stay in here or go to the break room? I never use it cause I don’t have any co-workers, but it has a couch and a coffee table?”

“Okay,” he smiled. Taking the plate from her and waiting for her to warm up her own meal before taking a bite.

He was ever the gentleman.

Y/N reached back into her lunch box, taking out the package of naan bread, seeing Spencer’s eyes basically roll into the back of his head. “You thought of everything?”

“Bread is my life,” she laughed.

When her food was ready, she placed it on top of the chess box and led the way down to the break room. Spencer holding every door for her.

She flicked on the lights in the break room, watching them strobe before making that awful powering up frequency. She groaned, putting her food on the table before turning on a few lamps instead.

The room went from bright and anxious to relaxed and personal, the amber glow bouncing off the cream walls, it was nice. As nice as it could be in a prison. She never thought she’d be having a date at a prison.

That’s basically what this was, a date.

She made him dinner, they were going to play games, he was going to sit right beside her, close enough to kiss. She really wanted to, she’s thought about it a lot, his pink lips were perfect and she just wanted to see how they’d feel between her own.

But she wont.

“Dig in honey,” the name rolled over her tongue like it was always meant to.

She felt his eyes on her right away, realizing that she called him honey in a situation where he wasn’t crying, where he wasn’t vulnerable. She said it as a term of endearment, she couldn’t stop the embarrassment form settling in her veins.

She sat beside his softly, picking up her dinner and pretending it didn’t happen. “Thank you,” Spencer cut into the awkwardness.

“You’re welcome,” she said softly. Feeling like she could flip inside out at any moment.

From the corner of her eye she saw him take the first bite, closing his eyes as he appreciated the moment. His shoulders settled as he chewed, she could swear he almost moaned as he ate it. She has had the food in the cafeteria before, she understood his reaction.

“That good?” She asked, teasing him softly.

He nodded, silent as he took it all in. He took another bite, and another, she felt like he was going to get the hiccups at this rate but it was too cute to stop. He was like a stray dog eating inside for the first time in months, it made her happy and then a little sad.

He stayed quiet the whole time. Crossing his legs as he sat on the couch, the plate pulled in close to his chest as he shovelled spoonfuls of food into his mouth. She sat there admiring him as he did so, falling more and more every time she glanced at him.

“That was delicious,” Spencer said as he stood, placing his plate on the counter across the room. “Are you done?” He asked, taking her plate as she reached it out to him.

“Yeah, thanks,” she watched him carefully, always wanting to help her in whatever way he could.

He didn’t sit on the couch when he came back, instead, sitting on the floor on the other side of the coffee table, taking the chess set out and beginning to set it up. Not wanting to miss a moment of the freedom he felt when he was with her.

“So, chess is pretty easy to learn,” he said, looking up at her through thick eyelashes as he spoke. “Do you know any of the rules yet?”

“Um, I know where they all go, I know that you can’t go through other pieces and the horse gets to jump?” She tried to remember all the way back to grade 4, the last time someone explained the rules to her.

He was so soft with her, explaining the rules and showing her what to do. His hand would lightly brush over hers occasionally, eventually, he’d just guide her hand over the pieces that she should move. It was so nice to just be alone with him, knowing they were both allowed to be happy.

The room was mostly silent, only the sound of Spencer's advice and her giggle as she still wasn’t grasping the concept of the game.

“I just like, don’t care about the rules?” She couldn’t stop giggling at the fact she wasn’t picking up on anything he said.

Spencer laughed, it was deep and hearty, right from his soul, “then how do you want to play?”

She picked up the queen and moved it to a random spot, “I want to put this here and fight your guy. That’s why I don't get this, what is my XP? What are their skills? I was raised on Pokemon, honey.”

He made his way back to the couch, sitting closely beside her. “Well sugar pie, do you have any other games you want to play?”

She couldn’t stop herself from leaning in and pressing her lips against his. His hands wrapped around her waist on instinct as they connected.

It was everything she imagined. Soft, gentle, refreshing. Like a cold glass of ice tea on a hot summers day. She wanted more, never letting up as she kissed him.

Spencer was the one to pull off first, “shit,” she whispered, covering her mouth with her hand as she stared at him, horrified.

He laughed, smiling at her softly. “It’s okay,” he promised, “I’ve wanted to do that for a while.”

She doesn’t stop him from pulling her back in, holding her hand on his cheek as he kissed her again. Hungrier than before, Spencer’s tongue was on a mission. He tastes like dinner, but with his own Spencer difference.

Kissing him felt like a fairytale coming true.

She forgot where they were, his hands on the back of her scrubs and her hands in his hair as their mouths clashed. She started to lay back on the couch, pulling him down on top of her.

“We can't,” he pants against her lips. Regretting it as he pulls away from her.

“Sorry, this was unprofessional I know,” she tried to play it off.

Spencer pulled her back in, flush against his chest once more. “No, I don’t regret it. It’s just, I’m not ready.”

“Oh,” she says softly. Then it clicks, “oh, oh my god, Spencer I’m so sorry I forgot. I didn’t mean to push you into anything,” she worries, running her hands over his arms softly.

He shakes his head, “you didn’t. I want to, believe me, I just don’t think I can handle the after part…”

“I cried for 3 hours after I had sex again, after everything,” she told him in complete honesty. Not even Savannah or Derek knew that.

“You don’t have to-“

“I want to,” she assured him. “You shouldn’t have to be the only vulnerable one here, I want you to know about me.”

“You don’t have to tell me the details, I don’t want to think about someone hurting you,” he whispered, his eyes innocently studying her face for how she was feeling.

“Okay, so here’s everything else,” she was still holding his face in her hands. Rubbing her thumb over his cheeks. “I had 2 moms and a little sister, and I was raised in Boston. I met Savannah in 2004, I worked with her until a few years ago. She’s my best friend, Derek is like my big brother.”

She gave him the basics, “I don’t have a dad, my mom used the same donor for me and my sister, so I’ve never really felt safe around men because I never knew many.”

“Understandable,” he smiled softly. “what’s your mom like?”

“She died when I was 26,” she pressed her lips together awkwardly. “I haven’t talked to her wife since then, my other mom, she remarried not long after. I think she was cheating on my mom when she was going through chemo.”

“I’m so sorry,” Spencer whispered.

“I can relate to a lot of the stories I know about you already. My mom was my world, I don’t know my dad. I’ve been hurt by people, I’ve lost a lot of myself while trying to help others,” she brushed her nose against his softly. Letting him know she wasn’t pulling back any time soon. “Who you are is not what you did, or what you’ve been through.”

He kisses her again softly. Breathing in through his nose lightly, his hand on her back pulling her in closer and closer. He didn’t want to let her go, and she was more than happy staying in his embrace forever.

He pulled back softly, “I lied to you.” He whispered against her lips.

“When?” She asked, scared to know the answer.

“I do remember you from Derek’s wedding, he told me about you a long time ago. I told him I was ready for dating again when you told him about Mark,” he couldn’t look at her.

“That’s not a huge lie,” she smiled softly. “I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t looking at you all night, with that little blond boy. You two were so sweet, Mark got really mad at me for staring at you actually.”

“Derek told me when he hurt you, he came to my apartment right after so he wouldn’t go and kill him,” Spencer’s voice was so low she had to stare at his lips to understand him. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” she shook her head softly, kissing the tip of his nose. “Thank you.”

“I don’t want to go back to my cell,” he whispered as he pressed his forehead against hers.

Breaking her heart in the process.

She kissed his cheeks and his lips a few times, peppering kisses to his soft face to make up for it. “We can’t do this again until you’re free,” she whispered.

“I understand.”

“So you better think long and hard about this woman you remember so I can track her down and shove her in that cell instead,” Y/N’s stern voice made him smile.

“Thank you,” he replied again, hugging her the way he promised he would thank her from now on.

—

For being 9 pm on a spring night, it was rather warm in the Vermont parking lot. She left the prison a while ago, not able to leave Spencer’s gravitational pull yet as she sat there, staring at the prison thinking about him alone in his cell instead of pressed against her chest for the rest of the night.

Thinking about the feeling of Spencer’s hands on her body and his tender lips. Her hand over her mouth as she remembered how his bottom lip ghosted over her own, the anticipation was enough to light her on fire.

She took out her phone and called Derek, knowing he would put her on speaker if they were already in bed for the night. Really needing her best friends right now.

“Hey kick-ass, how are you doing today?” Derek’s voice was overly cheery, “Hey!” Savannah added in the background.

“I’m in love with him.”

Chapter 6

She barely slept anymore. Waking up at 6 am every morning without her alarm clock, her heart physically aching to return to Spencer's side after a night without him. She felt like a love-sick school girl, wanting to be with him all day even if they had nothing to say. Just looking at him was enough to make her happy.

A few weeks passed. Weeks filled with smiles and laughter, singing and reading, inside jokes and shared jello cups. She was so madly in love with him, hugging him every morning when he arrived and every night before he left. Keeping her word, kissing him on the cheek every so often instead.

She started a routine of picking up a coffee and a donut for Spencer every single Thursday, worried that he probably thought about his case all night, yet again. Which only kept her up worrying all night about him, wondering if he was doing okay all alone.

Only getting sleep when she remembered that he had a photo of her, his mom, Derek and hank with him. He’d be okay.

She walked into the infirmary to find Jerry and Mike waiting for her with a guard. Mike bleeding all down his face while Jerry held his clearly broken hand.

“You two are going to be the death of me,” she sighed. Putting all her things in her office before coming back to care for them.

She excused the guard, telling him she had it from here. They wouldn’t put up any more fights with her, they looked up to her like a momma bear, and they were her terrible cubs.

“It is 7:33 am, who the fuck did you have to fight this early?” She whisper yelled at them. Not wanting to wake Leo in the care ward, “who is worth this?”

“You don’t want to know,” Mike said under his breath.

“Well clearly he’s not here, is he dead or in violent crimes? If you two fucked up our plan of me helping you during parole next year, I’m going to be pissed,” she tried her best to entice the answers out of them.

“It was Shaw,” Jerry said softly. “He was planning to hurt the new guy, he’s all fake buddy-buddy with him.”

“Excuse me?” She panicked.

“He’s been talking to Milos at night in the locker room, Wilkins lets him out of his cell and into gen-pop,” Mike carried on the story as she tried to clean the blood off his eyebrow.

“What are they going to do to Spence?”

“Spence?” Jerry teased her, poking her side. “I didn’t know he had a nickname already. Why haven’t we met him yet?”

“I’ve kept him locked away to be safe, I’m going to find a way to keep him here at night,” She said softly. “He’s best friends with my brother, I can’t let him get hurt.”

“So you knew him in freedom land?”

She nodded, “a little.”

“All you need is a bandaid,” she changed the subject as she reached into her kit. “And Jerry I’m going to have to set your fingers back in place, if you scream in my face, I will kick you in the nuts.”

They laughed at her fake tuff guy act, never actually being able to hurt them. They were her buddies, giving her a big hug after she finished with them. Getting them both a pudding and telling them to stay put for the day if they wanted to.

Spencer found her in the lab when he arrived, she knew it was him when the door opened, no one else had a passkey to get in. She was writing down some numbers on a chart when he wrapped his arms around her from behind.

She dropped her pen and turned around in his grasp, holding his face in her hands immediately as she pulled him into a quick kiss.

“I thought you said I couldn’t do that again till I’m free?” He asked softly. Kissing her a second time as he finished.

She smiled against his lips, “you’re free when we’re alone.”

He kissed her harder. His hands around her waist as he picked her up slightly. Twirling her around as they kissed, she laughed against his skin. Unable to stop herself from smiling as she held onto him.

She kissed him one last time as he put her down on the floor, “I have a coffee and donut for you in my office.”

“You’re too good to me, Sugar Pie.”

“Anything for you, Honey Bunch,” she bit her lip as she smiled at him again. So absolutely overwhelmed with love for him.

“I actually have a serious question to ask you,” his tone changed, making her concerned.

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m still trying to figure out more about that night, and I think I want to try exposure therapy,” he explained. “I was wondering if you’d help me get high, so I can remember what happened in the same mindset.”

“Okay,” she nodded softly. “I can book you in for the night here, say you’re under observation, and I’ll stay here with you.”

“Are you sure?”

She kissed him softly again, looking up at him with a smile after. “If you’re sure about it, I’ll help you. But we need some ground rules.”

“Of course,” he agreed. Letting go of her as she stepped back, leaning against the counter now.

“No kissing, nothing like that, we’ll do it in my office so you can be alone and then later you’ll sleep in the observation room. Leo is in there, he’s harmless and sleeps all night on his morphine anyway,” she explained. “I’m not going to take advantage of you, I don’t want you to regret it. It’s going to be hard to sober up again once you get a taste of euphoria in here.”

He nodded along as she set the rules, “those are good. Thank you.”

“They drugged you with heroin, and while I know where to get some, I’m not letting you do that,” she laughed. “I have Dilaudid in pills and liquid morphine.” Letting him pick his poison.

“The pills will be fine,” he said softly.

“Alright,” she smiled. “And if you want, when you get out I can take you to a meeting? You’ll need to talk to someone other than me, someone who gets it.”

“You’ll stay with me after all this?”

“As long as you let me,” she felt her heart grow 3 sizes at the way his puppy dog eyes stared back at her. “Go have your breakfast and I will come to see you soon, okay honey?”

His smile was glorious, she could feel the love radiating off him as he looked at her. It felt wonderful, knowing at that moment her feelings weren’t one-sided. That he wanted her just as bad as she wanted him. He was going to be good to her.

—

She had mike and Jerry help her move the couch from the break room and into her office, allowing them to meet Spencer, finally. It was awkward at first, two big muscle men telling him how much they also loved their Sugar.

“Should we tell him?” Mike nudged Jerry.

“What?” Spencer asked softly, sitting at his desk on the other side of the room, really not enjoying their alpha energy.

“Shaw, Milos and Wilkins are all secretly buddies, they were planning to hurt you and so Mike and Jerry beat Shaw up in the yard,” she scrunched her face as she explained it, not ready for his reaction.

“How?”

“After they cut that kid's throat, they wanted to get you to run heroin for them. But you ended up in here, we heard them in gen-pop last night saying they wanted to get you,” Jerry explained as he played with the bandages on his hand. “He won't be out of the violent offender's infirmary for a while.”

“Thank you,” he replied to them with a pressed-lipped smile. “I need to call my team about the case.”

That was their queue to leave, Y/N patting them on the back for the help, telling them they could stay with Leo or go back to the yard, she didn’t care. They just couldn’t be in her office for this.

Spencer looked a little pissed off. “I didn’t ask them to do that,” she said, defensively.

“I’m not mad at you,” he shakes his head softly as steps into her space. “You’re the only person I can trust in here.”

She placed her hand on his chest softly, “call Penelope. Take your time on the phone with the team.” She handed him her cell phone, “FaceTime them if you want. See their faces, it’ll be okay.”

He hugged her, a silent thank you. She ran her hands over his back as she pressed her face into his neck. Holding back every instinct to tell him she loved him as she pulled away.

“I’ll be back soon, okay?”

“Okay,” he smiled. Taking her phone, “how do I?”

She couldn’t help laughing, “here,” she dialled Penelope’s cellphone number and hit the FaceTime button.

Seeing her beautiful, bright and bubbly face smile as she answered. “Hey! Oh my god, hold on,” they watched as she got up and ran down a hallway.

Spencer was instant giggles and smiles, a side of him she’s never seen before. True, pure love. This was his family, these were his people. She could see herself fitting into his little world one day.

“Guys! It’s Spencer!” She yelled as she ran into another room.

“What’s wrong?” “Is he okay?”

Suddenly she turned the phone sideways to show all his co-workers. “Hi!” He waved to them.

“Spence!” Emily and JJ cheered, “oh you look so good.”

“I feel good, how are you all?” He asked softly, taking her phone and sitting down at his desk.

She watched him softly from the door, slipping out when she saw his attention was fully on his past life. She walked down the hall towards the lab, hearing his laughter through the walls.

—

She placed 2 pills in a plastic cup, taking an apple juice and jello from the fridge for Spencer. She placed it on his desk 20 minutes before his shift ended, giving him a little space to decide when he wanted to. He told her that he get’s cold when he comes down from a high, so she leaves a fluffy blanket and a pillow on the couch before slipping back out of the room.

She returned to the care unit, looking over Leo as he got ready for the night. Administering his meds and wishing him a good night. She closed his curtain, so when Spencer eventually went to bed he wouldn’t be disturbed.

When she finally settled into her office for the night, Spencer was in the dark. Sitting on the couch, wrapped in a blanket. “Hey,” he said softly.

“How are you?” She asked softly. Closing the door behind herself. Locking it and making sure all the blinds were closed.

“It’s going to hit soon,” he said softly. Suddenly embarrassed and closed off, hiding from her as he laid down.

She didn’t want to bother him, sitting at her desk with her reports. The light from the computer is just enough to see what she was looking at. She glanced at him every few minutes to make sure he was okay.

He enjoys it at first, a blissed-out look on his face as his head is tossed back against the couch. She knows the exact euphoria he’s feeling, she understood perfectly why someone would want to escape like that.

Then his face changes as he starts to hate it, he mumbles to himself with his eyes squeezed shut, she could see him gripping the sheets as he tries to force himself to remember.

She’s uncomfortable watching it, feeling like an intruder. She tried to only focus on her work, flipping through emails and Twitter, scrolling through Facebook for the first time in months to preoccupy her mind.

He was like that for at least an hour.

She could hear his teeth chattering as he came down, just like he said would happen. “You okay, honey?”

“Y-yeah,” he tried to speak through the shaking. “C-can we cuddle?”

“Yeah,” she whispered, turning on her desk lamp before joining him on the couch.

She pulled him up into a sitting position, sitting where his head once was and letting him settle into her lap. She ran her hands through his hair, combing through the locks as she shushed him. Running her hand up and down his back in a tender motion, he snuggled into her leg.

“I’m not that high anymore,” he says softly.

“I know, it’s okay if you are. I’m not going anywhere tonight.”

“I love you,” he whispers.

It makes her stop. Her whole body stills at the words, he wanted to clarify so she’d know it wasn’t a spur of the moment thing. She closes her eyes and squeezes them shut, biting her lip as she tries not to burst into tears.

He felt it too.

She swallowed the lump in her throat, “sit up.” She instructs him softly.

She laid down against the couch then, waiting for him to snuggle into her side. Wrapping the blanket around them both as they found the most comfortable position.

“Sorry,” he whispered against the crook of her neck.

“It’s okay, it just feels wrong for me to say it back right now. I feel the same, believe me, Spencer.” She wanted to assure him to the best of her ability. “But you’re still an inmate in my care, I can’t. Not yet.”

“You don’t have to,” he pulled back to look her in the eyes, his own still droopy from how tired the drugs made him. “I’m going to love you regardless.”

She broke her own rules. Kissing him softly, holding him close to her, under the blanket where both their body heat was trapped. She had never felt safer in her entire life.

Spencer only crawling into that bed in the care ward when he woke up to her alarm the following morning.

Chapter 7

There’s someone banging on her office door just a little after 8 am. She was in the middle of putting a new pair of scrubs on over her long-sleeve undershirt, the banging on her door doesn’t stop until she opens the door.

“What?” She yells at them.

It’s Officer Wilkins. “Where is inmate Reid? We have a visitor for him.”

“No one is scheduled to see him today?”

“There is now. Where is he?” The man towered over her. Trying his best to intimidate her.

“Care ward. I’ll get him. You can go wait in the waiting room,” she pushes past him. Watching him stumble as he hits the wall.

“He’s not worth dying over,” he whispers under his breath.

She doesn’t leave Reid’s side as Wilkins attempts to escort him to an interrogation room. Y/N stands in the observation room as Spencer waits, cuffed to the table. Looking through the mirror at each other, only he couldn’t see her. He just knew she would be there.

“Mom?” Spencer’s shocked voice breaks her out of her thoughts as she sees Diana walking into the room.

A dark-haired woman she’s never met before escorting her in. Y/N whips her phone out to take a quick photo before running back to her office as quickly as she can.

Y/N: I need you to check on Cassie, Diana’s nurse. Someone I don’t know just brought Diana to the prison.

She attached the photo she took, setting her phone down to looking through the visitor's logs on her computer. Wanting to know the name of the woman accompanying Diana.

“I’m sorry,” the familiar voice says from her doorway.

She looks up at him from her desk. Wilkins is stepping into her space with a look of guilt, taking his baton off his belt.

“You don’t have to do this,” she backed up against the wall, trying to keep as much distance from him as possible.

“I have to,” his tone changed. Like a personality switch, his eyes darkened as he charged at her.

She ran around the desk, watching him follow. Punching her in the face, causing her to fall back against the couch, she didn’t want him to get on top of her. Dropping to the carpeted floor as he dove onto the couch.

She crawled on the floor towards the door as he tried to get up. Standing as fast as she could, roundhouse kicking him in the face with a grunt. Her foot hit his jaw at just the right angle, rendering him unconscious.

She reached for his cuffs as soon as he hit the floor, “Leo!! Help!” She screamed down the hall.

She heard bare feet running down the hall, followed by the sound of rubber on linoleum. “Sugar??” Mike and Jerry yelled as they followed.

“Watch him,” she insisted once the cuffs were on him. “Hurt him if you have to.”

She took the second pair of cuffs off Wilkins's belt before running out of the room, her lip busted and bleeding down her neck.

She ran down the hall towards Spencer, busting into the room and knocking the nurse to the ground. Struggling to get her onto her stomach, “stop struggling, who the fuck are you?”

“Get off me!” She screamed in return.

Y/N cuffed her and pulled her to her feet, pushing her against the stone wall.

“What is going on?” Spencer stood up, cuffed to the table so he couldn’t help.

“Wilkins just attacked me, Diana wasn’t supposed to be here,” she said over her shoulder in Spencer’s direction. “So I’ll ask again,” she whispered in the woman's ear as she pushed her against the wall harder. “Who, the fuck! Are you?”

“He knows me,” she spat out.

Y/N ripped her off the wall, making her look at Spencer who was shocked, speechless as he tried to remember her face. “Who is she?”

“She told me Cassie was fired, she’s been with me all morning?” Diana tried to explain, slightly freaking out.

“I sent her photo to Penelope, I need a guard,” Y/N said, hauling the unknown women into the hall with her.

—

The prison was put on lockdown as they tried to figure out this security breach. Wilkins and the nurse being held in prison custody as they waited for the BAU team to fly in.

Figuring out that her name was Lindsay Vaughn, Spencer remembered as much as he could about her. How he tried to save her dad, losing him to his carnal need to kill. Lindsay following closely in her daddy's footsteps.

Diana sat at Spencer’s desk, Mike and Jerry stand watch at the door. Y/N was sitting on top of her desk in front of Spencer, it was his turn to run alcohol over her cuts. Holding her face in his hands as he cared for her.

“I'm sorry,” he mouths the words at her. Not wanting his mother to overhear them.

She nods in response, unable to smile as the cut on her lips stings. All things considered, she could have been in a lot worse condition if it wasn’t for Derek and her training.

She wants to kiss him, she can tell he’s looking over her shoulder at his mom. Waiting to make sure she’s not looking before he leans in a little closer.

Pressing their lips together as silently as possible, his eyes still on her’s as they did so. It’s the most tender kiss she’s ever had, “I’m okay Spence,” she said softly as he pulled back.

“I’m still sorry you were dragged into this,” holding her against his chest softly.

From where she was sitting on top of her desk, she placed her head on his chest, holding him as close as she could, his cheek resting on her head. She wrapped her legs around him, not wanting to let him go, ever.

Needing the comfort he brought her, now more than ever.

When Derek and she started training again it was mostly to help her feel safe. To know what to do if it happened again. She didn’t ever expect it to, thinking it was a once-in-a-lifetime thing. That she’d learn from it and then she wouldn’t be in this situation again, being punched in the face by a man.

She started to cry, the throbbing pain in both her face and her foot taking over as the adrenaline dissipated, she was too overwhelmed to do anything more. He let her cry against him, rubbing his hand on her back as he kissed her forehead.

She couldn’t wait for him to get out of here, and she was going to leave with him.

—

Derek is the first to burst through the door. Wrapping Spencer up in the biggest hug she’s ever seen him give. Rocking Spencer back and forth in his grasp as he kissed Spencer's cheek a few times.

He pulled back, holding Spencer's face in his hands. Smiling so he didn’t cry, “they’re dropping the charges.”

“You’re kidding?”

“Nope,” Derek shakes his head adding, “You’re free.” Expecting Spencer to hug him again.

Instead, Spencer turns to Y/N and pulls her into a kiss. She’s startled at first, eyes wide open as Spencer’s hands find her waist and pulls her right up against him.

She can't help but settle against him. Holding his face in her hands as she kisses him back. He picks her up slightly, spinning her around with his face buried in her neck as she yelps.

Everyone in the room watching him celebrate with her in shocked silence.

He placed her back on the ground, kissing her one last time. “You did it, Spence,” she smiles at him.

“We did it.”

She hears someone clearing their throat. Both of them turning to see the Warden as well as the entire BAU team standing in her doorway. But they don’t pull apart, Spencer’s hand stays on her side as they wait to get yelled at.

“I quit,” Y/N said before he could say anything to her, “and I might sue.”

“I’m suing for sure,” Spencer added.

“We’re terribly sorry for the condition of your stay Doctor Reid. And Doctor Y/L/N, I’ll never be able to make it up to you. I’m incredibly sorry for what Wilkins did,” the warden tried to cover his ass from a bureau lawsuit.

“Too late for that,” Emily added. Stepping into the room more. “Doctor Reid will be leaving with us, now.”

“Understood,” the Warden hurried out of the room before any more damage could be done.

Everyone took a turn hugging Spencer then. A handful of them even hugging Y/N as well.

Emily wrapped Y/N up in a hug, rubbing her back the way she would all those years before. “Thank you, you have no idea what he means to us.”

“I think I do,” she laughed against her. “If that’s not weird?”

“Not at all,” she pulled back, looking at Y/N with her big beautiful eyes, her bangs pushed out of the way so she could take a good look again. “You two are good together.”

She smiled, “thanks Em.”

“We need to fill him in on everything, will you stay with Diana?” Emily asked.

“Of course, I’m just going to be packing up some things anyway,” she said as she turned to Spencer. “Have fun with your friends, honey.”

“Thanks, sugar,” he kissed her on the cheek before walking out. Everyone whistling and hollering at the boldness Dr. Reid had developed in prison.

They all filed out after him, she watched the door with a soft smile as they wandered down the hall, Spencer taking them to the break room so they could chat.

“Thank you, Y/N,” Diana’s small voice came from Spencer’s desk.

“Oh, Diana,” she smiled. “Can I give you a hug?”

Diana nodded as she walked over to her, wrapping her up in a hug, much like how Spencer would. She can imagine Spencer’s hugs once feeling like this, imagining him small and shy, holding her slightly. Unlike his more beefy, relaxed form since being in prison.

“He means the world to me too,” she says softly as Diana pulls away.

“You saved him, if he didn’t have you he might not still be my soft and sweet little Spencer,” Diana patted her shoulder. “Thank you.”

“Thank you for making him,” she laughed slightly. “He’s a wonderful man, I have a feeling you played a big role in that.”

Her smile was just like his. The smile of a mother, someone who was going to love him forever, maybe she’d love her too. Y/N felt a little emotional, this could be her family one day.

Chapter 8

There was a lot of information to process as she sat at the BAU round table.

Learning the entire plot of some women’s revenge against Spencer, just how much Wilkins and Lindsay were involved, the crazy scheme they planned and how terribly it would have ended if she wasn’t there.

Spencer, on the other hand, was visiting this Cat person in prison. The one who orchestrated it all, the one who was obsessed with Spencer, the love of her life, to the point she might be having his baby. He had some things to settle with her.

He was on edge before he left, going with Derek and JJ while Y/N stayed back with Diana. David Rossi had even offered to let them all stay at his guest house later that night, seeing as Spencer’s apartment was a crime scene.

Lindsay murdered Cassie, leaving her dead body on Spencer’s apartment floor. Ruining the place he was so desperate to return to.

She was a little out of it. Trying to think of everything that happened and everything she would have to do in the next few days. Compiling a list in her mind as the anxiety bubbled in her gut.

She needed a new job and a new place to live. First, she’d have to go back to Vermont to pack, and she’d have to find a way to support her boys on Parole. And Mike and Jerry.

She put her hands over her face and rested against the table. Overwhelmed with everything, her face still hurting, the lights were too much, she was tired.

Then she was crying softly.

“Hey,” Emily rubbed her back softly. “Shhh, it’s okay, what’s wrong Y/N?”

She sat up and wiped her eyes with a small laugh, embarrassed that her kinda ex-girlfriend was comforting her. “I’m stressed?” She answered, not even really sure herself.

Emily smiled while she nodded, looking so different now than she did back when they first met. Older, but in a beautiful way, gracefully becoming who she was always meant to be. “I get it, believe me.”

She remembered Derek saying she ‘died’ once. How they buried her casket and how pissed they were when they found out she was actually alive. Y/N only knew Emily re-born, as they called her.

She was always caring, always wanted to comfort and make people happy. It was the way she coped with hurting them all, but it carried on past the team. It carried on to strangers, victims, sometimes even unsub’s.

And most definitely Y/N.

There was a part of Y/N that wonders what loving Emily would have been like; if it would have felt half as good as loving Spencer. Or would it be better? She’d never really know, but she could imagine it would have been nice.

“How can we help?” Emily asked, still as wonderful as ever.

“I need a new job,” she laughed. “Can Penelope use her mad skills to find a reputable business in need of a doctor around here?”

“Are you moving back to Virginia?” She smiled at the thought.

“Yeah,” Y/N nodded, a smile growing on her face. “I’m kind of attached to Spencer now.”

“Good, maybe Derek can help you find a place, he has like, what 7? Right now that he’s fixing up?” Emily threw out ideas. “You’ll get the ball rolling soon, it’ll all be fine.”

“Thank you,” she said softly. “For not giving up on him, I know you would never but, I was worried he had lost all hope and you never did. Thank you.”

Emily hugged her again, not saying anything. Y/N knew there was nothing to thank her for, this was a family. They would kill for each other if they needed to.

“Let’s go see Penelope,” Emily replied as she pulled away. Standing and extending a hand for Y/N.

The BAU offices were so interesting, many people running around to get jobs done before the end of the day as the main team chilled. It was like any other office she was in; controlled chaos and hierarchy.

Diana was sitting with Penelope in her office, flipping through a scrapbook while eating a jello cup. It made her smile to see it ran in the family.

“Hey,” Penelope cheered as she noticed them.

“I was just going to ask for some help with something, I see you’re busy,” Y/N awkwardly commented on the situation.

“Oh, we’re not,” Diana said. “I was showing her photos of Spencer. Would you like to see them?”

“I’d love to, um while I’m here, Penelope would you be willing to help me search for a good job?” She asked a lot mousier than Spencer would have if he was asking her for something.

“Of course, what are we looking for?” She wheeled to her main computer, cracking her knuckles as she got ready to look.

“Um, anyone hiring a GP close to here, I’m willing to go all the way to DC for work,” she explained. “I just want a place where I won't get punched again,” she tried to laugh at the trauma.

“The sanatarium is hiring, they’ve got good ratings and not a lot of patient complaints, they’re looking for a physician to care for the elderly members of the program,” Penelope explained as she clicked through screen after screen of info.

“That would be nice,” she smiled towards Diana. “Did you like the one you were at?”

“Oh yes,” Diana mused. “I had many friends there, I miss them and the social aspect. For a bunch of loons, I really loved the company.” She laughed at herself.

“I send the link to you,” Penelope smiled. “Now let me see his little baby bum again that one is my favourite, he’s so funny,” she leaned back in close to Diana.

All the pictures were priceless. Seeing Spencer grow up, page after page, every award and accomplishment displayed proudly. It made her miss her family, the love that a mother could bring to her life.

She got a little emotional, trying to nonchalantly wipe the tear off her cheek as she watched Diana flip a page.

“Are you okay?” She asked softly.

Y/N laughed, “yeah I just miss my mom.” She scrunched her nose so that the tears stayed in, waving her hand in front of her face as she tried to blink the tears back.

“Where is she?” An innocent question opening the floodgates.

“She had cancer,” Y/N cried softly. Not noticing as Emily and Penelope left the room. Giving them a space to bond.

“She died when I was 26,” she explained.

“I’m so sorry, sweetheart,” Diana placed her hand on Y/N’s back as she rubbed her softly. “Do you have any other family?”

“My moms are gay, well. After my mom died I stopped talking to her wife, yes she raised me but she hurt my mom too much for me to love her like a parent,” Y/N unloaded her trauma onto Diana, it must be genetic to find comfort in the Reids.

“Spencer never had a father either,” Diana related to her. “After William left it was just us, and Spencer stepped up to being the man of the house. He’s always been thrown into situations where he has no control but he needs to make the decisions. You’re probably the best person he could be with, he doesn’t have to take care of you.”

“Cause I baby him,” she laughed as she wiped stray tears off her cheeks. “He’s pretty wonderful, you did a fantastic job. Both of you did, look at the love you have. This is a perfect family.”

She gestured to the book of photos, seeing the love beaming off Diana’s face as she held a 12-year-old Spencer in her arms. Braces, on his face, thick glasses, long hair. He was adorable.

“You’re welcome to join,” Diana offered softly. “I’ve always wanted a daughter.”

“Why didn’t you?” She asked softly.

“Why have more when you can stop at perfection,” she smiled, the same wonderful smile Spencer had.

“That he is,” she agreed. “Thank you for him.”

“Thank you, I mean it when I say you saved him,” Diana’s serious look making Y/N cry again.

“I know,” she cried. “And I’d do it again.”

In a heartbeat.

—

Rossi had 3 rooms ready for use in his guest house. Only 2 were ever used during their stay. They spent a few nights recovering together, helping Diana into a new routine for a few days while trying to just spend as much time as possible together out in the real world.

Rossi’s property was huge, never-ending even. He had lake access, ponds with ducks, fields and fields of long grass topped with flowers. It was like a dream getting to explore it together.

Happiness hit her like a freight train, smacking her in the chest and knocking the wind out of her.

She blinked and suddenly she had been waking up in Spencer’s arms for a week straight. Going on adventures together, waiting for him with a coffee outside his NA meetings, holding him all night long.

He had a hard time adjusting to a real bed again, it was too soft. He spent most of his time with his head on Y/N's chest, letting her rub his back slowly as she kissed his head, helping him drift off to sleep every single night. Causing her to fall deeper and deeper in love with him.

Every day beside him was a blessing, no longer was he a dog trapped in a cage. He was free, running with her through the fields like wild horses.

She woke up with him still snuggled into her, arm around her waist, legs tangled together, his face right in the crook of her neck. His hot breath on her skin being the thing that finally woke her up.

Absentmindedly running her fingers through his hair, eyes still closed as she woke up. Snuggling her cheek against the top of his head, causing him to pull her in tighter. Both of them slowly coming alive again.

“I love you,” her voice coarse from sleeping with her mouth open, dry as she licked her lips. It was the only thought that came to her mind. Not even realizing it was the first time she’s said it to him.

Spencer kissed her neck softly, “I love you.”

She couldn’t believe the happiness she was feeling, almost positive that even in her saddest moments she still loved him just this much. He was everything, even under all the scares and trauma, he was the most wonderful person in her whole world. And she was beyond blessed to be holding him in her arms.

The sun was barely up yet, having fallen asleep around 10 pm last night, they were up way earlier than they expected. It was so nice, the deep orange light of the morning sun creeping through the window behind the bed.

“Do you want to go watch the sun come up?” She asked softly.

“Yeah,” he nodded softly. Sitting up with her to get ready.

They put on track pants and sweaters and shoes, grabbing a few blankets and heading outside. A few minutes of walking behind Rossi’s house led them towards a beautiful little pond, they laid out 2 blankets over the dew-soaked grass before cuddling on top of it.

The birds were performing for them, the clouds were cleaning into the most beautiful morning blue sky she had ever seen. She couldn’t help herself from holding him tighter against the blanket.

The sun shined on the water, casting beautiful pinks and oranges across the surface as it stretched into the sky. A few ducks followed their mommas in the May morning breeze, quacking in agreement as they swam across the pond. Playing a game of following the leader.

It was a dream, she was sure of it. It was all too perfect to be real.

Including Spencer, he laid there softly underneath her, holding her against his chest as she appreciated the world around them. His attention only on her, even after being locked up for 3 months. He would always choose her.

“I’m so happy,” she said softly. “You make me so happy.”

He kissed her on the forehead, pushing her back against the blanket so he could kiss her whole face as she laid there. Smiling as she held his sides, letting him smother her in affection.

When he finally stops kissing her, he brushes her hair behind her ear. Cupping her face with one hand as he looks at her. The sun casting a vibrant glow on the both of them as they appreciated each other for a moment.

“I don’t know how I made it so long without you,” he finally speaks. “But I never want to do it again.”

“Move in with me?” She replied without a second thought. “I need to find a place here anyway, and I doubt you want to go back to your apartment.”

“I already asked Derek for the place he was fixing on Wilmont, it’s close to the sanatarium, mom wants to be social again,” he filled her in on his plans. “We just have to sign the lease.”

“We?” She teased him.

“I love you,” he reminded her.

“Good,” she smiled as she pulled him into another kiss. “Because I love you, too.”

Spending time with Spencer was intimacy in its purest form. It was a relationship built on trust, respect, and mutual love. It was the first time in her life she felt truly in love, not mesmerized by the idea of it.

She trusted him when he said that he loved her. She believed him when held her when he talked to her about his day or the most random things his mind could conjure. When he’d just hold her, enjoying her presence without wanting anything more than just her.

Chapter 9

They arrived in Vermont early on a Saturday morning, heading to her apartment to pack everything up. It was just the two of them this time, flying in together, half asleep at the break of dawn.

Only bringing 1 bag with her essentials for the next 2 days, hoping to pack her whole life into a truck and pray it arrived in Virginia okay.

And she got to show Spencer her space. A personal side of her that he had no idea about. He knew her mind, her feelings, her trauma, but he didn’t know what her personality was really like outside of loving him.

He was surprised by the amount of stuff she had. Wandering around her apartment quietly as she started taping boxes into shape.

Rented white walls enclosed the space when she moved in, not being able to paint them or anything felt wrong to her. So she covered them in photos, artwork and posters. Bringing the space to life with a touch of colour.

Mostly neons, having an affinity for green and purple accent pieces. Not a single shade of blue to be found, getting enough of that at work over the years.

She had plants everywhere, an old record player and a million different albums spread across the living room. Her bedroom was a mess, the closet was even worse. The kitchen would be easy to pack, it was the stuff on the walls she was worried about.

“I’m probably not getting my deposit back,” she laughed as she started taking the paintings down.

“I didn’t know you went to Harvard?” He points at her medical degree on the wall as she takes it down.

“Yeah, let me guess you’re a Yale guy?” She teased him.

He scoffed, nudging her arm lightly. “CalTech and MIT actually, Yale was my safety school.”

“Mine too,” she smiled.

Spencer stood beside her and watched for a minute, “what should I do?”

“Pick an area and pack the way you would if this was your place, I trust you won't break anything.”

“Okay,” he nodded, beginning stacking all her books on the kitchen table.

They worked well together, they knew that already. She put on music, they moved around each other freely. Occasionally singing the words and dancing around to the good ones. It was a lovely day to just open the windows and clean.

Hours passed, pizzas had been ordered and destroyed, boxes filled every corner of the space as her personality was completely ripped from the room. Soon it was just them, a couch and the record player.

She got up and walked into the bedroom to change, feeling sticky and gross from the day. Not expecting Spencer to follow and sit down on the edge of the bed.

“Who knew packing boxes for 7 hours would make you so sweaty,” she jokes as she peels the shirt off her back. Standing in front of him in just her sports bra.

He turns away from her, making her laugh slightly. “Spencer, it’s fine.”

“Are you sure?” He asks as he turns back to look at her.

She nods softly, “do you want to shower with me?”

He’s speechless for a moment, staring at her with an open mouth, “yeah, yes sure.”

She can't help herself from laughing, taking his hand and pulling him into her tiny bathroom. She makes sure they both have a few towels, seeing him awkwardly stand by the door like he’s not allowed to move.

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” she reminded him. “Go as slow as you want.”

“I want to join you, but just to clean,” he made his decision.

“Alright, I have 3 different shampoos you can choose from,” she smiled, opening her cupboard and letting him pick. He smiled, appreciating how easily she made it a strictly business situation.

She took off her pants, watching him get undressed out of the corner of her eye. They had been much more intimate with each other already, getting naked in front of him shouldn’t have been as nerve-racking as it was.

She turned on the water, making sure it was the right temperature with her foot. She took a deep breath and just took the sports bra off, freeing her boobs after a long day felt amazing, replacing the fear of Spencer seeing her for the first time. She dropped her underwear to the floor and stepped into the shower, waiting for him to do the same.

Before she knew it, he was standing in front of her, naked. She didn’t know how to act, just laughing and smiling at him. He did the same, it felt kinda crazy that they were standing in a shower, butt naked as the water pooled at their feet.

“You have to pull the thingy up,” she pointed at the bottom of the shower behind him. “It might be cold when it hits you, here pull it up and hide in the corner, like I do.”

He followed her instructions, pulling the small silver plug up to redirect the water from the tub faucet to the shower head. Cowering into the corner with her, their chests pressed together as the cold water hit his back, making him gasp as she laughed.

She wrapped her arms around him, leaning against the shower wall as she held him against her, “hi,” she whispered through her smile.

He kissed her quickly before backing up under the stream. She watched the water cover his hair, making it darker as it spread through the long locks. She watched it drip down his body softly, her eyes travelling down as it did.

He had a scar on his neck and all the bruising on his chest was long gone. His skin was so pretty, he only had a small amount of chest hair, but it was the collection of freckles all over capturing her gaze the most. She reached out and rested her hand on his chest, seeing his eyes open as he ran his hands through his hair.

“Sorry,” she pulled her hand back.

“It’s okay,” he laughed slightly. “Here,” he reached behind her for the bar of soap, “if you want to touch me while I wash my hair?”

“Yeah,” she smiled. Reaching for the loofa on the tap behind him, standing directly in his space as she did so.

They switched sides, slowly turning so he would be out of the spray of the shower head. He put shampoo in his hands and rubbed it through his hair while she watched quietly for a moment.

She rubbed the bar of soap against the fabric of the loofa, watching it foam up and fill the small space with a soft cucumber scent. Running it over his chest softly as he massaged his scalp. She was so soft with him, mesmerized by how lucky she was.

He was beautiful and soft. He wasn’t big and buff like Derek, he was just a normal man with a love for chocolate donuts and jello. She ran the loofa over his tummy as she smiled, loving everything about him.

Loving every part actually while trying to avoid both eye and physical contact with specific sections of him. Not knowing if he was okay, wanting to respect his space, and appreciating that he was doing the same with her.

He laughed when she ran it along his side, ticking his armpit as he tried to wash his hair, soap dripping down onto his eyebrow. She reached up and wiped it off his face so it wouldn’t go in his eye.

“Thanks,” he smiled.

“Switch?” She said as she guided him back under the water, his eyes still closed from the fear of getting soap in them. Scrunching his face up in the cutest way.

The water cascaded over his body, washing the soap down him as she watched, her hair not even close to being wet enough to wash yet. She just wanted to watch the show, to look at all of him and appreciate the moment.

He opened his eyes once all the soap was gone, his hair longer than ever as it laid flat behind his ears, he looked so funny without a big curly mop of hair on his head, remembering he said it used to be like this at one point.

“Your turn?” He offered, taking the loofa from her and reapplying the soap to it. “Can I?”

“Of course,” she answered as he slowly ran the material over her.

He was so gentle, she watched his face as he washed over her. Biting his bottom lip in concentration as he covered her chest, arms and stomach, “um,” he tried to speak, she knew what he wanted.

She took the loofa from him and replaced it with a bar of soap, “rub it in your hands for a sec, and then use them it’s easier.”

He did just that, lathering up his hands before he placed them directly on her breasts. She let out a sigh, bordering on a moan, as he held them in his hands, massaging the soap in carefully. Thumbs rubbing over her nipples as he made sure to not miss a spot.

She was in heaven, tossing her head back against the shower wall as he ran his hands over her more. Exploring her as she leaned against the wall.

Down her stomach, past her belly button, washing her hips before dropping to his knees. Using the bar of soap once more to wash over her legs as she stared at him, amazed by the bravery he was showing.

The water getting in his eyes down there, he stood and pushed his hair back out of his face as the water dropped to the floor, “turn around?” He asked softly.

“Yeah,” she replied, turning to face the wall.

He ran his soapy hands all over her back, over her shoulders and arms. Paying special attention to her butt, which made her laugh, she was only a little ticklish there.

She was covered head to toe in bubbles, Spencer looked at her with a big grin on his face as he noticed his job was done. Helping her under the water to wash all the soap off.

She lifted her arms to run the water through her hair, feeling her boobs perk up as she did so. Spencer's attention being completely switched to her chest as he watched. “Pass me the gold shampoo bottle?”

“Y-yeah,” he said, grabbing it from behind himself and handing it back to her.

She stepped into his space, pouring the soap into her hand and rubbing it in. “They say if you lather it up it’ll apply easier,” she explained her little life hack as she rubbed her hands together.

Finally running her hands back through her hair in Spencer’s personal bubble. Her boobs pressing against his chest once again. He was breathing heavier as she watched him, hoping soap didn’t make its way into her eye and ruin the moment.

When she finally stepped back to wash the soap out of her hair, Spencer followed, pressing them together once more. Holding her by the waist as she continued to get the soap out.

Once the water ran clean, she rested her hands on Spencer's shoulders. Staring at him as the water ran down her back, his eyelashes covered in water droplets as he stared into her eyes.

He was beautiful like this, just himself.

“Are we ever going to be like a real couple?” He asked softly.

“What do you mean?”

He ran his wet hands over his back as he thought about it for a moment, “I would like to be with you, more than this, but-”

“You mean sex?” She smiled softly, trying her best to not tease him. It was a serious moment, but she loved him too much to see him struggle.

“Yeah, I just don’t know how I’ll react,” he admitted.

“Honey,” she cooed, rubbing her nose against his softly. “Sex doesn’t make us a real couple, first of all. And second, we have all the time in the world, so you take it as slow as you want. We can start little by little, I don’t mind waiting.”

“How do you mean?”

She smirked at him, “have you ever masturbated in the same room as someone else?”

He swallowed sharply, shaking his head softly, “no, have you?”

“No,” she whispered. “But it’s a small step. You can sit beside me, we touch ourselves, nothing overlaps unless you want it to. Ease into it. It would be another easy way to be comfortable with your body around me.”

“Okay,” he agreed.

She reached behind herself to turn the water off, tapping the silver plug with her foot to release the pressure, and stepping out of the shower finally.

—

They dried off, getting into their pj’s before laying on the couch in her empty living room. Listening to the Hozier album that was already sitting on the player and cuddling while their hair dried. Just enjoying each other's company, he was so soft and he smelled amazing, it was so nice to have him in her space.

“Did you still want to?” Spencer cut into the moment.

It made her smile against him, lifting her head off his chest as she went to stand up. “Come on,” she took his hand, helping him to his feet.

She pulled him in close, kissing his lips softly. Only planning to kiss him once, being drawn into his mouth as his hands wrapped around her back.

She held him in return, slowly making her way into the bedroom as they stayed connected, laughing as her back smacked the door frame and then at the way he fell into her bed with her on top.

Her music softly travelled in from the living area, they kept the lights off as they stripped out of their pants and got under the covers.

“How did you want to start?” She asked, turning to face him as she laid against the pillow.

“Can we just kiss for a while?”

“Absolutely,” she smiled, placing a hand on his cheek and leaning in.

She was laying slightly on top of him, holding his face in her hands as she kissed him. His tongue was soft, swirling with hers as they made out softly. He was very handsy, wanting to touch every single part of her once again like he didn’t get enough in the shower.

She spread her leg between his, sitting on his thigh as she rubbed against him. He bit her lip, squeezing her skin at the feeling. “I think I can do it,” he said softly.

“No,” she whispered, kissing his neck before getting off him. “I don’t want to hear I think. It’s a yes or it’s a no.”

“Okay,” he managed to bring reason back into his horny brain.

He took his shirt off, only in boxers beside her, tenting in them slightly. She took off her shirt as well, laying back against the pillow. He watched her breasts the whole time, licking his lips as he leaned on his side.

She ran a hand over her side, cupping her breast and tossing her head into the pillow more. “I’m starting without you,” she teased, her other hand slipping under the band of her underwear.

He laid on his back, bending his knees as he slipped his boxers off, she looked over at him with careful eyes. Genuinely curious about how beautiful he would look rock hard and begging for it.

She didn’t move her hand, just resting it under her underwear to entice him to start. She watched as he stroked himself softly, returning his attention to her smiling face.

She pushed her shirt and underwear off as well, scooting in closer to him so she was pressed against his side. Bending one knee so she could ghost her fingers over the folds as he watched her.

“I want to touch you,” he rushed the words out.

“Okay.”

He reached his left hand over, resting it on her hip before resting his hand on top of hers. She slipped it out from under his grasp, guiding his fingers to her clit as she stretched her legs further apart.

“Yeah, like that,” she encouraged him.

“W-would you?”

“Finish the sentence,” she instructed him. “Tell me exactly what you want.”

“Stroke me, I want it. Yes.”

She wrapped her fist around him, feeling his fingers swoop down to see how wet she was. “Oh,” she jerked her hips against his side, not expecting him to loop the wetness back up and rub her clit again.

He groaned as she stroked him faster, both of them staring at their own handiwork. She was fascinated with how big he was, being able to stroke up and down him so gracefully it was like she was always meant to. She licked her lips as she saw the pearl of precum drip out. Gathering it up with her thumb as she slid back down his length.

He was panting, trying to hold himself back as she kept jerking him off. Lightly touching her clit as all his attention focused on not cuming so soon.

“It’s okay honey,” she whispered in his ear.

Straddling his thigh then. His hand resting on her clit still as she ground down on him. “Is this okay?” She asked.

He nodded, “yes,” biting his lip so he didn’t explode right then and there.

He felt amazing on her, every time her hips ground down her clit rested right between his fingers perfectly to gain the perfect amount of friction back and forth.

She let herself go, bucking her hips and moaning as she stroked him with one hand. Resting the other behind her neck so he could look at her boobs perk up again, sending him so close to the edge he almost jumped out of his skin.

“Fuck,” he gasped. “C-an I?”

“Cum baby,” she gasped. Following her own instruction as she watched the cum burst from him, shooting up over her fist as she stroked him through it. Grinding against him as she whimpered, “fuck, I love you,” leaving her mouth.

Letting go of his dick as he started to whine, she dropped down against him with her face nestled into his neck.

She kissed him, over and over again. Peppering them against his skin for the best orgasm she has ever had.

He wrapped his arms around her, holding her close against his skin as he came down from the high. His chest heaving as he tried to calm down, only picking up again when she heard the sob.

“Shhh,” she whispered against his skin, letting him hold her tighter against him as he cried. “I love you, honey, it’s okay. I’m here for you.”

She felt the tears welling in her own eyes, overwhelmed with her feelings for him. “I love you so much Spencer,” she cried against his skin, the tears dripping down his neck slowly.

His hands ran over her back, they held each other while they cried.

Everything from the last week finally catching up with them both. They hadn’t taken a moment to talk about any of it, the fact he was even in prison or what happened after. They just moved on, pretending it was fine now.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered finally.

“Me too,” he pressed his hand onto her cheek, freeing her from his neck as she sat up a little.

Both of them still gross from the sex, pressing sweaty foreheads together as they took a moment. “I’m so sorry,” she emphasized, “are you okay?”

“I’m wonderful,” he laughed at the absurdity. “I’m crying because I love you so much.”

“Really?” She laughed too.

He nodded softly. Kissing her nose as she pulled back to look at him better. “I want to touch you but,” she laughed at the mess on her hand and where she rested it on his chest. “Can we pause for one sec?” She couldn’t stop smiling.

The two of them continuing to laugh at the situation as they cleaned up in the bathroom, laughing even harder as she sat to pee like they had been married for a million years already, laughing the hardest when it came out in dribbles from all the laughing.

Going through every emotion in the book as they coped with the insanity together.

Once they were clean they crawled back into bed. Resuming almost the same position as she sat down on his lap, holding his face in her hands like she wanted to. Rubbing her thumbs on his cheeks as he pulled her in closer by her hips.

“Tell me what you’re feeling?” She whispered.

“I’m happy, you saved my life and I can’t believe I get to do this with you,” he explained softly, moving his hands on her back. He talked with his hands, not able to say anything without them moving.

“You’re the best person I’ve ever known, Spencer,” she reassured him.

“Why?” He asked softly. “not in a pity party sense, I just want to know how you feel. You haven’t really told me, I’ve been waiting for you to open up, I thought maybe you were just like that because it was your job, but I want to know you more.”

“I’m sorry,” she whispered as she bumped their noses together. “I don’t normally talk to people, even with Derek I’m really closed off. But I do trust you, and I want to, I just wanted to experience you when you’re free. I wanted to see if this overwhelming ache in my heart would dissipate as I was allowed to love you.”

She didn’t want to cry again. Blinking so the tears rolled back behind her eyes, licking her lips as her head tilted slightly. She just stared at his honey eyes, glossy and blown out. So absolutely beautiful.

“It got worse,” she laughed slightly. “I realized that now that you’re free you don’t have to see me every day, luckily you want to. But, now I think about losing you instead of keeping you safe.”

“Never,” he shook his head, face still cupped in her hands. “I’m never leaving you, you’re going to need a restraining order if you want to break up.”

She laughed, pushing the tears out, finally. Spencer kissed her cheeks, wiping the tears away with his lips. “Okay,” her voice broke as she tried not to cry anymore.

“I love you,” Spencer whispered. “You’re brave and kind, incredibly smart. You’re willing to do whatever it takes for the ones you love, you’re the only person I want to talk to every day.”

“I was going to say that about you,” she pressed their lips together finally, pushing him back against the headboard.

She laid her head on his shoulder, cuddling into him as she sat in his lap, “I have never loved anyone like this.”

“Me either,” he admitted as he pressed his cheek to her head. “Not even with Maeve, or Derek I know he told you.”

“And your mom,” she smiled. “She actually welcomed me to the family, said she always wanted a daughter. It’s nice to have a mom again.”

That broke him, he finally dropped the tuff boyfriend act he was putting up to hear her feelings, crying at his mother and the love of his life being close. She could tell he was a mamma’s boy, they had a bond Y/N wished she could have with someone. The closest she had to a Diana was Derek, as funny as that was.

She let him cry, not prying into it at all. Letting him take control of his emotions and the conversation. She ran her hands up and down his arm, soothing him softly as he held on to her.

“I was so scared,” is all Spencer says.

“I can imagine.”

“No, I mean about my mom,” he corrects her softly. “I thought the second she got her diagnosis that I ruined everything for her. She was going to forget me before I could even find a person to marry, let alone give her grandkids.

‘She was going to forget me,’ echoed in her mind as she wrapped her head around what he was saying. He was more terrified of losing his mother and missing time with her than he was about being in prison. He really put every ounce of his love into his family, it was beautiful.

“I applied to work at the sanatarium,” is how she answers. “They needed a GP and I need a job. This way I can see her every day, and you can go to work or teach or do whatever and know she’ll be okay. And old people seem nicer than cops and criminals.”

“I love you.”

She laughs, kissing his neck softly. “She’ll be okay, we’ll get her taken care of and who knows, maybe we’ll have more answers before a grandkid rolls around.”

It’s a risk, joking about having kids with him already. But she was ready for a life sentence with him, willing to stay in that god-awful prison as long as he was there. Including if he lost his case.

“You’re too good to me.”

“I try,” she smiled. “You’re pretty fantastic yourself, I didn’t just fall in love with your pretty face, sure you’re helpful and do what I say. But I love you because of what’s in here,” she ran her hand over his chest.

He just held her, silence encapsulating the room finally. The record stopped playing in the living room, no one was on the street at this time of night, the world stopped as she laid in his arms.

The Sunday morning sun was going to start coming up as she stayed up in his lap, both of them settling more against the pillow. She had no plans to get off him, he had no plans to separate from her loving embrace.

a/n: still working on an epilogue idk when it'll be done

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[stellar-imagines]

HEADCANONS REQUEST: ❝countryside girl pt.3❞

[ Fandom: Boku no Hero Academia ] [ Characters: Midoriya Izuku, Todoroki Shouto ]

「Headcanons of Midoriya and Todoroki’s S/O who lives in the countryside, meeting their boyfriend's family for the first time.」 [Previous Headcanons Set]

MIDORIYA IZUKU

♤ Just the thought about meeting his parents made you nervous. You recalled the time you brought Izuku over to meet your grandparents, he must've felt the same as you were right now. Even though you were supposed to be the one feeling all the pressure, you could see that your boyfriend was nervous as well. Your boyfriend has told his mother a lot about you and she was eager to meet you which was what led him into telling you to that his mother wants to meet you. But you decided to finally be brave and tell him that you'd meet his mother.

♤ A day before you had to go visit Izuku's mother, you were thinking what to bring as a gift. You wracked your brain for ideas, walking through your backyard with your pets while you tended to your plants and crops. There were a lot of things you had that would make great gifts but you were very indecisive. Izuku had told you not to trouble yourself with bringing too much and not to worry because he guarantees that his mom will love you because you're just an overall amazing person.

♤ But of course, you can't help it. You wanted to make a good impression because you love Izuku and you wanted his mother's approval more than anything. Izuku decided to pick you up at your house, and he was glad he did. You had gotten dressed already but you were currently dragging this one bamboo couch that you had made. This boy has to physically stop you from bringing that couch because he wasn't able to talk you out of it. 

♤ Izuku tried to distract you throughout the entire trip from your home to where his mother lived. In the end, you had decided to bring over a basket full of your homemade items ― drinks, jams, and fresh fruits from your backyard. The two of you sat in the empty train side by side, holding hands the entire time. Not even 15 minutes into the trip, you had already fallen asleep on his shoulder. He really had no doubt that his mother will love you. He had talked about you countless times and his mother always looked happy for him.

♤ Midoriya Inko was a really welcoming person, you could see the resemblance between her and your boyfriend. Turns out Izuku talks about you a lot and his mother seems to know a lot about you thanks to her son talking about you all the time. She was super thrilled to receive all the gifts that you gave her and was a bit embarrassed that you gave her a lot of things. Izuku never thought he would be able to watch you cooking in the kitchen with his mother while exchanging recipes. 

♤ After dinner, his mother asked more questions on your life out of curiosity. She was taken aback when you revealed that you sold your handmade products for a living and have met a few high ranking people who were interested in your videos and products. It was Izukus first time hearing this too so he was genuinely surprised and super proud of you. The Midoriyas were so touched after hearing your backstory of how you stopped studying to live together with your grandparents. They both finally teared up when you proclaimed that you were grateful you met Midoriya.

♤ Inko can't get over how in love the two of you were. She could see Izuku sneaking a few kisses on your cheek whenever he thought she wasn't looking. She just thinks that the two of you were adorable. She eventually told you to stay over because it was starting to get late already. Your boyfriend brought you to his childhood room where you could see his vast collection of All might merchandise. Though you felt extremely nervous from staying in the same room as your boyfriend, you felt really grateful that he actually brought you here to meet his mother.

TODOROKI SHOUTO

☆ Shouto really never talks about his family with and he was grateful that you never seem to care about that at all. It took him at least a month or two into the relationship for him to get comfortable to tell you about his family issues. Instead of you, he was the one who's nervous because he wants his family to like you. You recalled the moment he revealed his family problems with you. He was serious about his relationship with you and afraid that his father won’t approve you. But seeing how you strong you were, he thought that he should be brave like you and finally tell you everything. And now, he’s inviting you to his house to meet his family.

☆ To say that you were nervous was an understatement. You loved Shouto dearly and you wanted to leave a really good impression on his family. So you consulted your grandparents about it but they told you to just be yourself. In the end, you decide to take a gift along. However, there was a new problem. You had no idea what to bring. You recalled how much Shouto has praised you for your homemade items and decided to look through your cupboard and shelves for something that could be a gift.

☆ You had a bunch of items which includes fruits, jams, clothing and furniture. Shouto has assured you that you don't have to go through the trouble of getting them a gift. However, you had already prepared everything in a picnic basket with bunch of items like makeup for Shouto's sister and a bunch of food that you made yourself. When Shouto had come pick you up, you insisted that you something else and before he knew it, you were dragging out a piece of furniture you had made recently.

☆ Shouto managed to convince you that you were being a bit too excessive. And so you so settled with some make up, fruits and other homemade items you made. Shouto didn't want to further The trip to the Todoroki household was a long one, especially from when your house was. During the first half of your trip, you found yourself admiring the scenery and on the other half, you fell asleep. Shouto first brought you to the hospital where his mother was staying. Rei was super excited when Shouto brought you into her room and quickly waved you over to sit next to her.

☆ You were stuttering over your words while handing her some gifts that you had picked up from your garden. Rei shared a lot of stories about Shouto's childhood, most were things that made him feel slightly embarrassed. Shouto brags about you a bit, telling his mother about your achievements and the fact that you had met with high ranking people in this world. In addition, he mentioned about talented and independent you were. You really enjoyed your time with Rei, she was a really kind hearted and patient person. She seemed to be very supportive of your relationship with Shouto, fully entrusting her son with you. Shouto was very relieved as his mother's opinion means a lot to him.

☆ After visiting his mother, he brought you to his house. He had mentioned that his house was your usual traditional Japanese house with outside views. However, you had forgotten that his father is currently the Number One Hero. His house was traditional but it was a high class kind of traditional. The first person you met was Fuyumi, Shouto's older sister. You bowed, introduced yourself and handed over the basket of homemade items that you had prepared. She seemed very excited to see you and had ushered the two of you into the house before rushing to the kitchen to get some tea for you both.

☆ You met Natsuo shortly after he came back home and he was such an easygoing person, cracking a few jokes here and there. The atmosphere was warm and friendly up until Endeavor returned home. You could almost see the tension in the air, Shouto has told you about the issues his father had brought onto the family and you were nervous. Much to your surprise, he's not what Shouto described him to be. All in all, it went well. Shouto was still a bit unsure on his father's opinion but seeing how happy you were, he thought that his opinion doesn't matter at all.

Total: 1418 words Published: 09.06.2021

Thank you for requesting! ｡٩(ˊᗜˋ)و*｡ We hope you liked it! ― author Lou

Thank you for requesting it! Hope you enjoyed this! ― author Natsuki

Requests are closed! Matchups are closed!

Please do not mind the grammar mistakes and typos.

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[kjhmyg]

christmas/ny (drabble)

pairing: jungkook x reader | jungkook x oc

genre: fluff, steamy at the end

words: 1.7k

summary: re!couple celebrating christmas and ny with jungkook after the holidays

a/n: um first of all, sorry. this is so bad im cry but also it’s kinda ok? idk. sorry anon if this isn’t what u wanted. i’ll try again next year 2022 lmao

𝄖

As patient as he is Jungkook can’t wait for your nightly call. You try to stay off your phone for the most part being back home, leaving time to talk to Jungkook only when it’s dark out. Of course, some days you miss him so much that you break that rule to sneak in a couple of texts or photos. Today’s not one of them. 

Unfortunately, he had missed your earlier call. Horrified seeing two notifications of your failed attempts to reach him, he’s decided not to do anything else till he hears your voice. 

Jungkook shoves a spoonful of Suga’s homemade microwave spaghetti into his mouth, eyes not leaving his phone.

“You’re staring at that thing so hard the screen’s going to crack.” Suga judges him from across the table. 

“I’m expecting a call.” 

“Yeah, I know.” He sighs, “But it’s not like your phone’s on silent. It’ll ring once she⎼”

Jungkook jumps within the first few seconds of his phone lighting up, your name flashing across the screen. Leaving Suga to himself, he rushes into the room and takes a deep breath before accepting the call. “Hi.”

“Hey you.” Your chirpy voice makes him smile. “Missed you earlier.” 

“I know, sorry. Was busy. Did you have fun today?” 

“It was okay. We got a cute little tree and I managed to do some really last minute shopping because I just found out my cousins will be here tomorrow night.” You sigh. “Did you miss me?” 

“So much. I hate being apart, you know that.” 

“Well I did offer you to come home with me.”  

Jungkook had declined again. He doesn’t think it’s the best time to introduce himself to your family yet. Though, he had no qualms about letting your dad know. Funny enough, you decided not to. But you’re certain you heard your grandmother telling him about the couple photo you have as your homescreen. 

“Maybe next time.” He hums, thinking about the possible future. 

“I think my dad will like you.” The sound of your giggles has him cheesing so hard. 

“Is that why you chickened out on telling him about us?” 

“I did not! The timing isn't right.” 

“Sure baby.” He laughs. “You’re not embarrassed of me are you?” 

“I’m embarrassed someone like you is even interested in me.” You both laugh and let the silence engulf you. “You know I love you right? I hope we can spend the holidays together next year.” 

“I hope so too.” There’s a tiny amount of sadness in there if you’re listening right. 

“I might not be able to call you the next few nights. Since my cousins will be over. I promise to text though.” You say. 

“That’s okay.” You hear the smile in his voice. “Just have fun okay? I’ll be here when you get back.”

“One more week.”

“Right. One week. Seven days. I’m sure I can handle being without you till then.” 

“Merry christmas my love.” You send him a kiss over the phone.

“Merry christmas to you too.” 

When the call ends ten minutes later, he trots back outside, face looking even worse than before. Suga, now done with his food, shakes his head disapprovingly as Jungkook takes his seat and goes back to the sad, cold dish in front of him. “You’re pathetic.” 

𝄖

Jungkook holds his breath as the train slowly comes to a stop at the platform. Yesterday was the first day of the new year, which means today’s the day you come back. He’d planned out his route. First he’d get coffee and bagels to-go with chocolate danishes for you, in case you hadn’t had anything during the long trip. Then a short stop at the florist to get you a single rose before going off to the station.

It gets messy as everyone starts alighting and he struggles to catch you among the crowd. That’s when you come into view, head popping out between other random faces, wrapped in a beanie and scarf. Your face lights up when you see him, making hurried steps and dragging your luggage behind you. 

“Jungkook!” You squeal, running into his arms. 

He kisses the side of your face. “Hey stranger.” 

“I’m so happy to see you.” You say, squeezing him tight. “How are you?”

“You’re asking me that as if we aren’t constantly texting each other.” He laughs, handing you the rose and letting you cling onto his arm with your luggage in his other hand, headed for the car. 

“I know I’m just trying to break the ice.” 

Inside the comfort and warmth of the car, he kisses you deeply. Something he’s been looking forward to for the last three weeks. “How’s that for breaking the ice?” 

You roll your eyes but a smile plays at your lips as you properly adjust the seat belt. Gasping when you’re handed chocolate danishes, you pout at him, “You’re so sweet. Come here.” It earns him more kisses which he happily accepts. 

In the back seat you notice an odd shaped item, in purple wrapping, done quite messily. “What’s that?” You ask knowingly. 

“A surprise.”

“I have one for you too.” You smile smugly. 

 “Yeah? Can’t wait.” 

On the way back, you give him a run down of what went on back home. When he ended up confessing that he hadn’t done anything special for the holidays, not even with Suga, it made you feel bad. Even though he tries to assure you he didn’t want to celebrate it anyway. 

Back home, you lug your baggage into the room and dig something out of your bag. A packet of cookies lands on Jungkook’s lap as he takes a seat on the floor in front of the couch. “For me?” 

“Mmhm.” Nodding, you tear open the paper bag, behaving more excited than he is. “My grandma said she packed this for my friend. She winked when she told me that. And I’d already brought some back for Hana. I think she knows.” 

“About us? How?” 

“She’s always been nosy.” You giggle. “I guess she doesn’t want you to get left out.”

“Aw. She’s kind just like you.” 

“Wait!” He pauses, startled by your hand on his, stopping him from pulling one of the cookies out of the bag. “Hold on.” 

You get up and run to the room. Carrying as many pillows as you can with a comfy blanket somewhere in between, Jungkook watches as you make a barrier with the pillows and spread the blanket over him. Then, you’re off to the kitchen. 

After a minute of cabinet doors opening and closing and the clinking of glasses, you come back with two mugs of hot cocoa, marshmallows on top of course. Just the way your dad makes them. You place it right next to him then push the coffee table all the way forward to make more room to spread your legs. You put on a lame christmas movie on netflix, then snuggle up next to him. 

“Now it’s a real christmas party.” 

Jungkook laughs, holding you close and kissing the top of your head. You do the most unexpected things at the most random times. But he appreciates the way you always try to make sure he’s not left out. “Thank you baby.” 

You grin up at him and watch carefully as he takes the first bite of the cookies. His eyes go wide and you nod knowingly. It’s your grandmother’s famous recipe. One even if you had, wouldn’t even be able to replicate its taste. He hums in delight, stuffing his mouth with one cookie after the other. 

“So. Let me guess what happens after cookies and cocoa.” He says after finishing almost half the packet. 

“What?” You ask, eyeing him. 

He reaches round the side of the couch and pulls out the odd package you had seen in the car. “Presents?”

“Presents!”  

You run back to your room and appear with a small wrapped box. The rule was not to buy anything that costs more than your monthly rent. You both had agreed to this a while back. Which was difficult for Jungkook because all he wanted to do was to spoil you with expensive gifts. 

“What is this?” Jungkook holds the box to his ear and shakes lightly. “Hm.” 

“Wait I think I can guess what mine is.” You giggle, pressing into the soft parts of the wrapping. 

“Okay then you go first.” 

“Okay.” Tearing away the wrapping carefully, you find inside a soft, pink bunny with funky eyebrows. On the bottom of its little feet, there are hearts and in those hearts are both your names embroidered with a plus sign in between. “Aww no this is so adorable. I love it so much.”

“It’s not a diamond necklace but⎼”

“No this is so much better. Thank you.” You give him a hug with the bunny squished between your bodies. “It strangely reminds me of you.” 

“Really?” 

“Yeah it’s weird and I like it.” You giggle, pinching his cheek. “Now open yours.” 

The wrapping comes off easy and he immediately realises what it is as the box comes into view. He looks at you for a second before unboxing it and pulling out a matte black polaroid camera. Jungkook takes his time with it, carefully looking at it from each side. 

“Do you like it?” You ask. “I know you like taking photos so I thought you might like this.” 

“Y/N I love it.” He smiles, bringing the viewfinder to his eye and getting a feel of it, then putting it down to focus on you. “Let’s take one together.” 

You scoot next to him as he loads the film cassette. Then hugging his middle, he hooks his arm around your shoulders and your faces press against each other. He clicks the shutter and you both wait for the film to develop. 

It comes out perfect, both your smiling faces perfectly in frame and even bunny made it in which makes Jungkook laugh. He can’t stop staring at it, holding it by the edges so carefully like he’s afraid he’s going to ruin it. 

“I love you.” He says, looking at you when he finally sets it down.

“I love you too.” 

He kisses you, tasting of hot cocoa and love. You’re being pushed onto the pillows with the blanket beneath as Jungkook hovers over you, pushing the hair out of your face. As Jungkook removes his sweater, you pull your shirt over your head. Jungkook smiles down at you, kisses you, then reaches for the camera. “Merry fucking christmas to me.” 

You shimmy out of your jeans and hook your ankle over his shoulder. Snap. “And happy new year baby.” 

#jungkook drabble #jungkook fic #jungkook scenarios #bts scenarios #myfic #rainworks #drabbles;re

[herewegobacktomoon2]

Karaoke night

“Will they make it?” Maya asked concerned.

“They have very severe burns and all the smoke inhalation isn't helping, but you guys arrived just in time, so it hasn't compromised anything irreversibly.” Bailey said “We can't make promises but I'm positive about it”.

“I really hope you're right” Maya added, letting out a slow breath she didn't know she was holding.

“Luckily for you, I usually am!” Bailey exclaimed, raising her eyebrows in satisfaction, trying to lighten the mood  “Go home Bishop, if there's any significant update, I'll let you know”.

“Thank you Bailey”. She said, checking the time and seeing her shift was due to be over like an hour ago, so she opted for heading home.

She had tough calls almost every week, but some of them hit her harder than the others, and this one was one of them: they had arrived at the scene when it was already a three-alarm fire, because they couldn't put out the fire as it seemed to be originated by something that kept on igniting it every time they tried to use water or normal extinguishers. The problem was that when 23 arrived there first, their captain thought the fire started because of a short-circuit, which wasn't completely wrong, but what they hadn't noticed was that there was something more. They kept on using CO2 extinguishers, but that didn't seem to work. When 19 arrived, the situation was insanely bad: they still hadn't been able to rescue the couple inside of the house and nothing had improved. When Maya checked the structure, she noticed a slightly detached garage, which was linked to the building through a dangerous roofing containing asbestos but hadn't  been checked: the fire kept on reigniting because it was a metal involving fire, and that's why both water and CO2 were useless. Luckily, they had the right equipment to contain the situation, due to a training course they had done previously that week: while she contacted the specialized team for these kind of fires, they were able to put it out after a while, and she had to go in to help find the couple. When they found them, they were unconscious, but they still had a pulse: it was weak, but it was there. What moved Maya so much was how they had found them: they were two women, full of sooth and dust, one of them trying to cover with her body the other, trying to prevent her from inhaling too much smoke. They had rings on their hands, the same one, so they were probably a couple: obviously, it wasn't the first time she had to save a family, but that view made her think of Carina, her family. At the only thought of losing her, she felt sick, she couldn't breathe, but she had to focus back on the present, to be able to actively help. As soon as she was out, she jumped on the aid car and, while heading towards the hospital, using the update of her probably being late at home as an excuse, she called Carina, who had a day-off, just to hear her voice and let it soothes her.

While she was driving home, she replayed that image in her head, over and over again, and she felt her chest tighten, as if the car was closing in on her. Before stepping inside, she shook her thoughts away and took the keys. As soon as she opened the door, she was welcomed by the warmest smile she had ever seen.

“Ciao Bella! I missed you” Carina said, coming over towards the blonde, who didn't even bother to say anything, just going straight for a lingering kiss.

“I missed you too. A lot.” Maya finally added, looking the Italian in the eyes, before pulling her in a  tight hug.

“How was your day?” Carina asked, noticing that something was probably off, but willing to give Maya the time she needed to talk about it.

“It was tough, actually pretty tough” she replied, exhausted “but I'm finally here with you and that's all that matters right now”, she added, caressing Carina's face, kissing her softly.

“Yeah, I'm always here with you bella!” Carina stated, trying to reassure Maya, who still seemed a little off “if you want, we can call Andy and Vic and put off the party, so that you can relax”.

At those words, Maya's eyes went wide: how was it possible that she had forgotten about it?

“Mmm, it looks like someone forgot about the party here” Carina chuckled against Maya's lips.

“Yep, I know, I know. I'm hopeless.” the blonde said, smiling a little “Anyway, no, I don't want to postpone it. I think it will be fun. I only need to take a shower and I'm ready”

“Take your time, bella. Vic and Andy will be here in an hour.” the Italian explained

“Sooooo... that means you could join me?” Maya asked, not as flirty as usual, just needing to have her girlfriend close.

“Mmm, let me think...” Carina faked doubting her answer “As the snacks and everything are already set up, I think I can make the effort to join you” she added jokingly.

“Glad to know spending time with me is an effort, Dr. De Luca, how kind of you to let me know it!” she exclaimed, trying to sound offended.

“Well, that's the only effort I'm never gonna complain about, Captain Bishop.” she reiterated, in order to keep the mood light and easy, wishing to cheer Maya up a little.

“Mmm, that's a pretty good point, I have to admit” the blonde grinned softly, wrapping her arm around the Italian's waist, heading to the bathroom.

While they were showering, they were standing under the hot water, next to each other, Carina gently stroking Maya's hair, “Promise me” the blonde said, out of the blue “that you won't leave me”.

It caught the Italian off guard, but she immediately replied “Of course, I promise bella. Why would you think so?” she whispered, turning Maya's face towards her so that they were facing each other.

“The call, today... I couldn't help but think about you: that couple, their lives turned upside down in the blink of an eye... I can't lose you” her voice cracked.

“And you won't bambina, ever “ Carina knew she couldn't make promises, because life is unpredictable, but she felt the urge to reassure Maya and she truly believed her own words “Come here”.

They stood there, hugging each other until Maya's breath started slowing down. When they got out of the shower, hands still intertwined, they quickly got ready and within 15 minutes, the doorbell rang. “Hi Andy! Hi Vic! Hi...ehm...Michelle? Did I get it right?” Carina greeted warmly.

“Yeah, you're right!” Michelle smiled back “thanks for having me over without warning.” she added, looking around, trying to spot where Maya was.

Andy noticed her and gave her a look, before walking towards Carina and asking if her friend was okay, receiving a slight nod from the Italian.

A few seconds later, Maya walked into the living room, going straight to where Carina was standing, near the sofa, pressing a kiss on her cheek, looking at her with heart eyes.

“Oh C'mon guys, you're too cheesy. I can't with you two” Vic shouted, making everyone laugh.

“Shut up Hughes, or I'll kick your ass at the karaoke contest later, and also you don't want to be on toilet duty for next week, do you?” the blonde reiterated, raising her eyebrows.

“See?” Vic said raising her hands, looking at Carina “she is like that with EVERYONE.  She's an aggressive pitbull with us, then with you... it turns out she's a little puppy. What kind of black magic is this???” the younger firefighter added teasingly “And anyway, that's abuse of power, Cap.”

Carina couldn't help but laugh and so did Maya, even though she didn't wait to tease back “Good call Hughes. Two weeks on toilet duty, you're welcome.” she stated, getting a groan as a response.

“Ok, something is telling me that it's going to be a loooong night” Andy said, walking towards the table “Can we eat something, I'm starving!” she continued, picking up some bags she had brought with drinks and homemade tacos.

“These tacos smell soo good” Carina stated, helping Andy to serve the food, while Vic and Maya were setting up the TV, the audio and the sofa for the contest.

“Michelle prepared them, it's my tía's special recipe” she explained, inviting Michelle to join them.

“Oh thank you” You didn't have to!” Carina said “I'm sure they taste amazing.”

“I really hope so” Michelle shyly smiled “So...you are an OB/GYN at Grey Sloan?” she asked, out of curiosity.

“Yep, I've been working there for three years now.” Carina replied “It's an amazing job: every life is worth every problem you may run into, all the cryings and the misunderstandings” she continued, thinking about Teddy's child, Amelia's and all the other babies she was able to bring into this world. “What about you?” she asked back.

“Well, I'm a bit of a mess right now” she chuckled “at first, when Andy joined the academy, I wanted to do the same, especially when I heard about some friends of hers who were really hot, but I gave up before even sending my application, I wasn't cut out for the job.” she admitted “So I started dancing again and now I'm giving salsa classes for little kids, but it doesn't pay off for the effort. Kids are exhausting!”.

“I see your point, they are often hyperactive!” the Italian added “but I love dancing! A friend of mine has a school and I know she's looking for staff, if you want, I can talk to her about you!” she offered kindly, not catching the hint about the “hot friends” which actually was only about Maya.

“Are you serious??” she almost shouted “That would be amazing!!”

“Yes, I am!” she laughed “I'll talk to her tomorrow and let you know!”.

“Thank you Carina, you made my day.” Michelle stated, a wide grin on her face.

“What's all this euphoria about?” Andy asked, pretty confused.

“Carina just told me that her friend is looking for qualified staff for her dance school, and it may mean no more crying kids” she answered, still a bit shocked.

“Oh and no more me hearing about your complains! That would be revolutionary” she joked “This needs a cheer”.

“What needs a cheer?” Maya and Vic asked together, walking towards the kitchen.

“Your girlfriend is an angel” Andy declared “and I'm starting to think she has magic powers for real.”

“I told you!! She's from an outer world” Vic added vehemently, getting looks from Maya and Andy “Ok, that sounded a little bit too aggressive but you got the point! Anyway, I'm up for the cheer!”.

“So am I, even though I'm slightly confused” Maya admitted, walking to Carina and wrapping her arm around her “but I know your special powers so, I've no doubts it's well deserved” she whispered, making Carina blush and turn towards her.

“I love you” she whispered back, leaving a kiss on Maya's lips, as if they were alone in their bubble, but that didn't last for too long.

“Nope, not again under my salad.” Vic stated, pulling Maya away towards the couch “We have to play, but if you're in this mode we won't even start”.

“Just... out of curiosity: which mode are you talking about?” Maya furrowed her eyebrow.

“Are you seriously asking me that? You only have two: the “Bad bitch” mode or “the simp” one. I guess you'll figure it out on you're own which one I was talking about”.

“You're risking a lot tonight Hughes” Andy chuckled, knowing her friend.

“I'm speaking facts and you know that Herrera” Vic said, matter of fact.

After having some food and a few drinks so that everyone was a little tipsy, but still almost sober, they got settled in the couch and Vic explained the rules.

“So, the game works like this: Andy will be the judge and she will pick the songs. As soon as one of us knows the title, we have to get up and the first one who does it must say the title, the singers and sing a little part of it. One point only if we get everything right. Is everything clear?” She demanded.

“Yep, but... what are the teams?” Maya asked, looking at the younger firefighter but stroking Carina's hand who was sitting next to her.

“Oh yes, I had forgotten. Carina and I will be together, so Maya and Michelle, you two make the other team.”  Vic added.

“Wait, what? Why?” Maya groaned disappointed, causing Carina to laugh.

“Because we need you active and present, and if you're in the same team as Carina, you won't definitely be that.” Andy teased.

“Fine” Maya mumbled “Michelle: we have to win!”

“You bet!” Michelle immediately replied, squeezing the blonde's arm with no reason, causing Carina to crinkle her nose.

“You ready? 3...2...1...”

Music playing (Blank Space)

As soon as the first words were sang, Maya stood up and shouted “Me, me, I know it.”

“Ok, title and singer. Then you have to sing a part which is not the refrain”. Andy stated.

“Blank Space, by Taylor Swift.” she answered fiercely and then started to sing as a teenager driving in her car in the middle of the night “And I know you heard about me, So hey, let's be friends I'm dying to see how this one ends, Grab your passport and my hand...”

“Ok, ok, I got it, you know the song!” Andy laughed at her friend's enthusiasm, glad she was feeling better.

“Sorry, I got carried away” Maya admitted, turning to look at Carina, who was there, looking back at her with a loving smile.

“Ok, 1-0 for Maya and Michelle.” Andy remarked, making Vic groan. “Let's go with another one...”

Music playing (I like it)

Within a second, Michelle got up and started moving around “No me esperaba un golpe tan bajo prima” she said, starting to sing along with the song which she was weirdly used to listening to every time she broke up “I like it by Cardi B”

“That's not fair, what's all this camaraderie?” Vic mumbled “ you're the judge!!”

“I just wanted to piss you off a little” Andy chuckled “Anyway, 2-0 for Maya and Michelle”.

“Carina, we can't let them win!! I want you to be the most competitive you've ever been in your life!” Vic said, almost commanding it.

“Yes, I promise we'll win! I'm ready to kick asses” Carina stated, causing Maya to laugh a little.

“Here we go with the third one...” Andy said.

Music playing (she looks so perfect)

On the first note, Carina jumped off the couch “ It's She looks so perfect by 5SOS”, and she continued, screaming to the top of her lungs from the very first second until the refrain came “She looks so perfect standing there, In my American Apparel underwear, And I know now, that I’m so down, Your lipstick stain is a work of art, I’ve got your name tattooed in an arrow heart, And I know now, that I’m so doooooown”.

While singing, she got closer to Maya, feeling every word she was saying, causing the blonde to blush before she pulled her in for a soft kiss and a gentle stroking on her chin.

“Ok, ok, I'm not gonna complain because you got us the point but please come back to this world, cause we're still 2-1 for them, the judge is impartial and we need to win” Vic said, pulling Carina back towards her seat.

“Sorry, I got carried away too.” Carina admitted sheepishly, probably alcohol inhibiting all of her composure.

“Yep, you two should walk around with stones on your feet, you get carried away a little too often” the younger firefighter mumbled.

“Competitive Vic is quite a pain in the neck” Andy teased “not the normal one is something so different though”. Vic faked to get offended before Andy picked the fourth song.

Music playing (Chicago, All that jazz)

All of them were looking at each other confused, but Vic immediately got up and started dancing “Start the car, I know a whoopee spot, Where the gin is cold, But the piano's hot. It's just a noisy hall,Where there's a nightly brawl, And all that jaaaaaazz!”

“It's All that jazz from the musical Chicago by Catherine Zeta Jones” Vic shouted, out of breath “C'mon guys, you don't know it?????”

“I heard it but I didn't remember the title” Maya admitted “Anyway, how about the camaraderie now?? You're the only one which is into musical sooo...” she groaned.

“I guess now we're even.” Vic nonchalantly claimed.. “We can do it Carina!”

“You're unbelievable” Maya mumbled, before the fifth song started playing.

Music playing (Mirrors)

Before Michelle could get up, Carina was already singing, Vic already celebrating for the point while the Italian was once again getting closer to Maya, who this time was whispering the lyrics together with her girlfriend, not caring about the lost point.

“I don't wanna lose you now, I'm looking right at the other half of me, the vacancy that sat in my heart is a space that now you hold.” they both sang together, lightly swinging from side to side, with Maya's head buried in Carina's neck getting an “AWW” from Andy and the usual groan from Vic, who was secretly enjoying the scene which actually looked like a film.

“It's Mirrors by Justin Timberlake anyway”. Carina said, wanting to be correct.

After a few minutes, everyone got back in their seat, after deciding Andy should just opt for the shuffle play.

“3-2 for Carina and Vic now” Andy remarked. “Ready?”

Music playing (Numb)

Vic and Michelle gave each other a look, the song playing not really their genre and also Andy seemed pretty confused. Carina knew the song but was too worried checking in on Maya's reaction that she didn't even think about getting up to get the point.

Maya downplayed it very well, trying to keep the mood light so after saying that it was Numb, by Linking Park, she started singing as if she was at a concert. Nobody but Carina noticed the change in her eyes and with the excuse of having a little pause before continuing, she took Maya's hand and brought her to their bedroom.

“Hey bambina, are you okay? I know how much that song means for you...” Carina asked gently, caressing Maya's face.

“Yeah, I'm okay, it was just a moment, it hit me a little, but I'm okay, I promise” Maya admitted, looking down, searching for Carina's left hand.

Carina knew it was the song Maya used to listen to every day when she became aware of her father abusive behavior, she knew how much all the words showed how bad Maya was hurting and that even though she had come a long way, scars could easily start bleeding again.

“Come here” the Italian said, hugging the blonde as tight as she could, knowing that it would give her the comfort she needed.

“I love you so much” Maya said, pulling Carina in for another lingering kiss.

“I love you too”, she whispered back against her lips, before kissing her again.

Within few seconds, they were back in the living room, Vic giving Maya an annoyed look.

“What??” Maya asked.

“You're trying to bribe my teammate!!” Vic shouted, causing Maya to mumble.

“Maya, we need to win!! If we do, I promise I'll bring more tacos the next time!” Michelle said, taking Maya by the hand and pulling her towards her seat. Maya didn't even notice the little flirt, but Carina surely did and she didn't like it at all, but she didn't want to make a scene so she just started cursing the woman internally.

“Ok, 3-3...here we go” Andy reestablished the order.

Music playing (Born this way)

As it was hard to find a straight person in that house, they all got up but the very first one was paradoxically Vic, who even started dancing with the exact steps. “Born this way by the Queen of Queens, Lady Gaga” She shouted, in a very Travis' way, as she kept on singing it.

“What kind of joke is this?” Maya teased “You're the only straight person in here and you just stole our hymn!! That's not fair!!”.

“Take it up with Travis. This is the soundtrack to his workout sessions everyday, so I know every single note of this song” she admitted proudly “I think people could actually believe I'm Lady Gaga if it wasn't for the height difference” she joked.

“Oh yeah, because height is the only difference” Maya teased “Hughes, I love your naivete, it's so cute!” she added.

“Bishop, fuck you” Vic reiterated, throwing a cushion at her friend.

“Ok, it's getting serious now. 4-3 for Carina and Vic: these are the last two songs. Maya and Michelle, if you win this, there's the final battle”. Andy declared.

“We're ready” Maya replied, on the edge of the couch.

Music playing (Dura)

As soon as the music started playing, Vic understood it was some raeggeton music which she didn't know at all but Michelle undoubtedly would. In fact, within two seconds, the Latina got up, shouting “It's Dura, by Daddy Yankee” and started singing, probably a little too tipsy. “Cuando yo la vi, Dije, si esa mujer fuera para mí, Perdóname, te lo tenía que decir, 'Tás dura, dura”

While singing she got closer and closer to Maya, looking at her like she was addressing those words to her, but Maya didn't even seem to care or understand what was going on. In the meantime, Carina was watching the scene, trying hard to contain herself, before she heard Michelle whispering something in Spanish to Andy.

“Si no fuera que ella está con Carina, ya le habría pedido que tengamos una cita...esta tía esta demasiado buena. Deberías habérmela presentado antes prima: os conocéis desde la academia, no me lo puedo creer”.

Carina was pretty fluent in Spanish, so she understood everything: all she wanted to do was telling Michelle to stay the hell away from her girlfriend, but what she did instead was showing that Maya wasn't going anywhere.

While the music was still playing, she got up and sat on Maya's lap, starting to dance in a very flirty way: the blonde was now more than alert and she couldn't help but smile at the Italian, gently caressing her back and kissing her neck. If it wasn't for Vic again, they had (at least Maya) completely forgotten they weren't alone.

“What was that for?” Maya asked grinning to Carina.

“Nothing, just a little reminder” Carina smirked before kissing the blonde and then going back to her seat.

“This is the last song, I want you to be extremely concentrated” Andy stated in a serious tone.

“We got this” Vic said “We have to win” she added, talking to Carina.

“Yes, yes, yes!” Carina replied, sitting on the edge.

For this last song, Andy decided to take a little revenge on Maya: as she had won their last Taboo game, she wanted to give Carina and Vic a little help to get their last point and win the competition. She opted for an Italian song, but little did she know Maya had improved a lot...

Music playing (Anche fragile)

It was a fraction of second: Maya was already up, the lyrics hadn't even started but she had already said the title “It's an Italian song, it's Anche Fragile by Elisa”.

Andy and Vic were shocked, but not Carina, as it was her favorite song and she used to play it on repeat on their nights together, so she knew that Maya would have recognized it.

“Well, you have to sing it or you won't get the point” Andy declared, sure that her friend couldn't bring her self to speak a word of that “weird” language.

Carina chuckled knowing that Maya would have probably messed up all the words, but instead, she was caught off guard, as the blonde started singing it.

“Tienimi su quando sto per cadere, tu siediti qui parlami ancora se non ho parole, Io non te lo chiedo mai, ma portami al mare, a ballare...”  

Everyone's eyes were wide open at the unexpected event that had just happened and the Italian couldn't believe it either.

“Bella, you learned it!” she said, still a little moved from the gesture.

“Yes, I learned the whole song actually” she confessed, blushing a little.

“Thank you” Carina said grinning, pulling Maya in for a soft kiss.

“Ok Bishop, I must admit: you deserved it” Vic admitted, raising her hands “you practically sang a song in Italian, that was awesome! And it also shows how much of a simp you are!” Vic couldn't help but teasing.

“Shut up, Hughes” Maya shouted, throwing back at her the cushion from before.

“Oh crap, it's almost Midnight and I had said to Robert I would have been home by 23. I think we should go!” Andy said, picking up her stuff “Thank you girls, for everything, it was good fun and I really enjoyed it!” she added, heading towards the door.

“Yep, so did I, despite knowing that my Cap will put me on toilet duty only because I speak facts about how in love she is with her super hot Italian girlfriend” Vic teased again, getting a little smack from Maya “No, apart from joking, it was awesome! We have to do this again”.

“I'll think about it, very carefully” Maya teased back.

“Thank you for everything, really. Especially you Carina, about the work” Michelle said, making Carina to force a little smile “And thank you Maya, it was very nice getting to see you again” she added, caressing Maya's hand.

Before waving them goodbye, that's when Carina thought she should make things a little bit clearer: “Lo siento mucho, pero quería decirte que Maya ya tiene novia, así que deja tu alma en paz y empieza a buscar a otra chica. Sé que es muy guapa, pero también sé que es mi novia y quisiera que tu también no te olvidaras de eso. Entendido?” [I'm really sorry, but I wanted you to know that Maya has already a girlfriend. So, just give it up and start looking for someone else. I know she's hot, but I also know she's my girlfriend and I'd like that you didn't forget about it either. Got it?]

As those words let her mouth, Michelle's jaw dropped and completely embarrassed, she reached Andy who was waiting for her with Vic in the car.

When Carina closed the door, she turned around and she saw a very confused Maya staring at her: “So you know Spanish??” she asked.

“A little, I studied it at high-school and kept on practicing it with TV series” she explained.

“And why were you talking to Andy's cousin in Spanish” Maya asked again, still not figuring out what was going on.

“I just wanted to make things clearer and I thought it was the best way” she said, walking towards the blonde and wrapping her arms around her waist.

“And what did you need to get across that well that couldn't be said in English?” Maya chuckled, putting her arm around Carina's neck.

“Maya, you didn't notice, did you?” Carina wondered, laughing a little.

“Notice what?” Maya asked, now more confused than ever.

“She was flirting with you!! And I also heard her talking to Andy about you in Spanish, but unluckily to her, I understood everything”. She explained.

“Wait, really???” Maya couldn't believe it. She didn't acknowledged it at all, too busy admiring Carina.

“Yes, so I just wanted to let her know that she better stays away from you, if her intentions are flirting all the time!” Carina groaned jealously, making Maya laugh.

“Oh so, someone is jealous... it could be a good thing...” Maya smirked “anyway, you only preserved hr from putting effort in something she couldn't achieve. I'm madly in love with you and you only.” she continued, more softly.

“That's a good thing too.” Carina smiled brightly, resting her head on Maya's neck and pulling her closer to steal her one more kiss.

As soon as they pulled away from the kiss to catch some air, Maya whispered something that made Carina's heart skip a beat.

“E non nasconderti con le battute, non mi sconcentrare, Stiamo a vedere dove possiamo arrivare E ridiamo insieme che ridiamo sempre, sempre, sempre”

“I thought you only learned it by heart” Carina said, eyes getting watery but the will to smile much stronger than the one to cry.

“I learned it so that I could understand all the words and why it meant so much to you” Maya admitted, Carina's smile growing wider and wider.

“And I also wanted you to know another thing...” Maya added.

“Tell me” Carina replied, moved and curious at the same time.

“You know that line that goes “Senza tutta questa fretta mi ameresti davvero?” she asked, and after getting a light nod in approval, she went on “Well, the answer is yes, I'd love you even if the world would never come to an end, 'cause I'll never get tired of loving you.”

“Bella I-” Carina tried to speak, but her voice cracked a little “You're amazing. You're probably the best thing that has ever happened to me.” she added.

“Probably?” Maya asked, furrowing her eyebrows, trying to sound offended.

“Yes, because I know that what we can make together, our story, our love, will always get better, day by day. Us is definitely the best thing that has ever happened to me” Carina explained, caressing the blonde's jaw.

“Mmm... you get away with it for tonight Dr. De Luca” Maya teased.

“Did I?” Carina teased back.

“Yeah, even though I think that, as it is midnight, we should start making the best of our next day from its very beginning” Maya smirked.

“Well, if you put it that way...” Carina grinned, pulling Maya towards their bedroom, knowing that she would always find the solution to every doubt and fear of hers in those deep blue eyes, that spoke nothing but unconditional love, which she was wholeheartedly willing to reciprocate.

#carina deluca #maya bishop #station19 #marina #danielle savre #stefania spampinato #wlw #fanfic

[jupiter-river]

Period pains ~ Yachi x Reader

Possible tw: Periods for a gn reader. The personal headcanon that Yachi could beat anyone up in smash bros with no remorse, the briefly mentioned personal headcanon that she takes a Visual arts class. Mention of Tylenol, rude guardian briefly mentioned.

I didn't mention a specific gender, just that they can have periods, so it's still technically a gn reader, maybe, idk?

completely self-indulgent as I am In pain rn ;-;

Word count: 1,793

Sitting in bed surrounded by blankets and pillows was not what you had in mind for your Saturday, no no no, you had plans today, you were going on a date in the park with your girlfriend Yachi since it was going to be a nice day today, but sadly, your cycle had decided to ruin your plans. The cramps were worse than normal and you were so tired since it had kept you up all night and your guardian had gotten mad at you yesterday night and this morning, but of course, they said they would bring home food and assumed that would make it better. All that did was give you an even worse migraine. You had just texted Yachi that you would have to take a rain check and briefly explained why.

She was quick to text back with her sympathies and offered to come over with some homemade soup so you could relax and spend time together anyway, and she could help with the cramps. You thought about rejecting her offer as you didn’t want to trouble her, but you did miss her and you wanted to go on a date. You replied to her that that sounded nice, but she didn’t have to do anything for you, just come over to hang out for a while. Yachi replied in seconds with ‘Okay! ^-^’ and so you went to get up, wincing at the pain, and unlocked the front door for her. While you were up you decided to make your comfort drink and maybe some Tylenol, you didn’t necessarily have the energy to go get it, but you were already here, so why not? You sat on the couch in the living room and sipped your drink slowly after taking a couple of the pills, excited that your shark week hadn’t ruined your plans completely, although it was still a pain, and as if to prove its point you got another really bad cramp, just to remind you it’s still there in case you had forgotten. You clutched your side and winced, grateful that you had already drunk enough of your drink so it didn’t spill at the movements. About 30 minutes later you heard the door starting to open and you hear Yachi call out from behind it, “Hey (reader) I’m here!” you responded with some sort of noise, not able to form actual words at the moment, your cup abandoned at the coffee table, as you got up to greet her. She smiled sheepishly as she saw you look at the bag she had brought in, there were Heating pads, your favorite sweets, what looked to be Yachis’ blanket from her house that you often said was super comfy, a couple of stuffed animals, and Yachis’ laptop. You had also noticed that she had brought in a whole pot of soup and she had already placed it on the stove. “Ehehe, I know you said not to worry about bringing anything, but I thought it would be nice. These always help me during my time of the week, so I thought it would help you! The soups just got to heat up though.” She turned the stove on so the soup would heat up, and set a timer on her phone for when it should be done, and then walked back to you who was still standing on the other side of the island in the kitchen. You didn’t say anything and just hugged her, leaning on her a bit. You did say not to bring anything, but you would be lying if you said that it didn’t make you feel very happy. She laughed a bit and hugged you lightly, not wanted to squeeze too hard and make the cramps act up again. She grabbed your hand in hers, “Come on, let’s sit on the couch and watch some tv or something while we wait for the soup!” she grabbed the blanket from the bag and lead you back to the couch, you grabbed the remote for her while she grabbed some pillows and arranged them around you both, she then preceded to curl up beside you with the blanket surrounding you both. She held your hand and kissed your cheek sweetly before placing her head on your shoulder while you picked your favorite cartoon show to watch for a bit.

Eventually, the timer she had set on her phone rang, so you both got up from the comfortable position and turned off the tv. She wrapped the blanket around you, allowing you to be wrapped in it while you moved around, while she went to the kitchen. She stirred the soup a bit and made two bowls. She placed them on the table, one in front of where you were sitting and one where she would sit, turned off the stove, placed a lid on the pot, and put the pot into the fridge, “alright all done!” she cheered, and went to sit down in front of her bowl. “This is my mom’s homemade recipe, she used to make it all the time for me when she had enough free time. I learned how to make it since I liked it so much, and she couldn’t make it all the time.” she commented, in-between spoon fulls of soup. After your throat had gotten a bit better with some food you said, “It’s good.” a little quietly but loud enough that Yachi had no trouble hearing you. She practically lit up, “Really?! I’m glad you like it. I can always make some more for you if you’d like. I like making it anyways” You just smiled at her. With the size of the pot she brought, you think you could feed a family of eight for four days with it. After you were done, she cleaned the bowls and put them in the dishwasher, “Alright,” she smiled “Let’s relax for today, have that date we wanted, and just enjoy each other” She once again grabbed a hold of your hand also while grabbing the bag of stuffed animals and well as her laptop while you two walked to your room. The both of you got comfortable in the fluffy nest of pillows and blankets, Yachi adding the stuffed animals into the mix and starting her laptop, while it was loading she got out the heating pad and handed it to you to put where you saw fit. After she settled the laptop in between you two and pressed play on your favorite show, she started to mindlessly play with your hand, not that she realized. You smiled at her softly as her attention was on the show. The calming atmosphere, just you and Yachi, made today not so bad, even with the occasional cramps, Yachi was right there, every time you let out a little wince she would gently massage your sides(?) and adjust the heating pack if it had slipped off the area. Slowly during the show watching, you both started paying less attention to the show and more to each other. Yachi would talk about her day, her assignments in art class, or what shenanigans the Volleyball team had been up to, you would usually reply with only two or so word responses but she didn’t mind, it was easy for her to tell what you meant, and the time quickly went by. It was around six o’clock by now, and you had felt much better so you both decided to move back into the more open space of the living room, as that was where your game console was, with the blanket and heating pack. You got the controllers set up and Yachi suggested super smash bros. And who were you to disagree, to see the happy look on Yachis’s face was enough of a reason to play if you didn’t like smash bros. After starting it up and picking your characters, with Yachi maining Kirby and you as your personal favorite who isn’t Kirby, Yachi started to let you have a chance but quickly started to absolutely destroy you without a sense of remorse. You knew this would happen, you still tried your best but she was too good. She started to shout out when she landed a hit and things like that, but you didn’t mind it too much, you found it amusing in a way. The win was quickly hers as you had no chance but it was fun non the less. After a few more rounds of the game, Yachi decided it was getting late, “Do you wanna stay the night?” you managed to ask, Yachi practically jumped up in joy “Yes! I would love to, is it okay with your guardian though?” You thought about it and decided to text them, instead of asking if Yachi can stay over, you decided to just tell them that she was staying here. Not waiting for a response you shut off your phone, and nodded, “They said it was okay” and she smiled, “Okay then! I’ll let my mom know I won’t be home

tonight” even though you both knew by the time she got home, it was probably going to be so late that Yachi would be in bed. Afterward, you found some clothes that she could wear tonight and tomorrow. Even when your guardian came home, they knew they couldn’t just kick Yachi out, so they let her stay over, and mostly left the two of you alone after saying hi. You guys were sitting outside cuddling on the swing looking at the night sky together, both of you silent and just drinking out of your mugs, yeah maybe this isn’t what you imagined your date to be, but it was still as wonderful as you thought it was going to be. Yachi moved a bit to face you, pressed a soft kiss to your lips before pulling away, she saw your questioning glance and just smiled and shrugged, “I just felt like it” she did it once more, a bit slower this time, before settling back into your side with her gaze to the stars. ”They sure are pretty” She said as her actions were catching up to her trying to change the subject and calm her beating heart down. Even in the semi-dark lighting you can see the loud blush donning her cheeks, you kissed her forehead before looking up at the stars as well, they were beautiful, weren’t they.

#yachi #yachi fluff #period cramps #period pain #yachi x reader #x reader #i swear i ended up acting as if this was a sick fic #written by an enby dealing with their period #i am in pain lmao #yachi hitoka #yachi hitoka x reader #do I genuinely believe Yachi would be crazy good at smash bros? yes #do i believe she would be enrolled in visual arts? also yes #x reader fluff #squishmallow

[breaddaerb]

Heeeey ! I just found out your blog and it's amazing! I already love your ideas!

Can I have Soviper hcs and scenarios ??

Please please !

[ sova x viper I ]

✎↷: no need to beg anon, for i, the glorious bread, has your back! thank you for the compliments, it never gets old hahsjz.. enjoy!

sova and viper aren’t really two different sides of the same coin. the taller agent is softer, kinder, and genuinely dorkish. viper is by all means the opposite, so their relationship had grown as colleagues over time thar had grown into lovers instead of a spicy romance. their interactions took place mostly on missions, with having viper rely on sova for main communications and information.

it felt like years for any feelings to spark, but it took that level of intimacy just to dig underneath that first barrier of viper’s skin. sova is patient, too welcoming and kind to someone who thinks so differently of themself. it’s odd, but they manage to make it work.

some highlights of those years:

in the middle of the night, sova crept to viper’s laboratory, knowing that she was awake at such odd hours. research and experiments never do seem to have an end, after all, and it’s a calming factor to the russian as he stepped into the room. what he requested was simple; a remedy or a drug for his insomnia, something to put his mind to sleep in the train wreck of life. he finds viper at her desk, worn but focused, and his voice travels in a whisper.

when viper hears of his request, the first thing she does is turn him down. the life of medicine was lost behind her now, replaced by venoms and unforgiving revenge. this man did not need her help and yet he appeared so lost, eyes sunken and his hair a mess. and - god, she couldn’t believe she was doing this - viper scribbled something down on paper. for him to remember.

sova had retreated from the room after that, and had looked over the paper only to find not a prescription, but a recipe. for a nightcap that’ll soothe him better. he has never believed in these homemade remedies, but when he tried the recipe, he found himself fast asleep not long after finishing it.

the recipe is seared into sova’s brain, folded underneath the delicate strands of his heart. he can recite it from memory perfectly.

sova accidentally ate viper’s food once. he was spaced out and tired, and their containers looked so similar that he had just reached in, grabbed it, and ate it in the middle of the kitchen. viper walked in on him not long after, looked down at the box in his hands and at the russian’s mouth and let out a sigh-scoff.

“a pleasure to see you welcome yourself to my things, isn’t it?” viper said sarcastically, walking around the kitchen island. sova paled to paper white, pausing as he chewed into the sandwich. he gulped, mind racing, when he whispered slowly. “..i like your cooking and i forgot to ask. sorry.”

viper hadn’t expected that answer. she thought he would say something wittier or off handed, but it was never that from the hunter. only the more tender, but sweet side of him. the american didn’t have any energy to shut him down after that, so she had sighed and shook her head. “it’s fine. but you owe me, owl, don’t forget that.”

it was when they were dating when sova made up for it. he made a whole array of his and viper’s favorite sandwiches, though they were somewhat sloppy. clearly he had put a lot of effort into it and viper didn’t want to hurt his feelings (ignoring how flustered she was on the inside), and invited him to share an impromptu picnic together in her quarters.

—

aside from those incidents, the two of them are a happy couple. there are a lot of things viper has to work around, like the needle-rung wounds that sunk in beyond her skin, and they work through it. her problems have always been on the table for her, but sharing a seat with sova ar that same table just seemed impossible to her. there are things she can’t and won’t talk about, yet she tries her hardest to be around for sova.

he’s aware of them, too. it’s why sova is so much more open and welcome to viper, ready to bring her into a more loving environment as long as she lets him. the scientist has tasted the sweetness at one point, and only a touch of it. intoxicating, is how she would describe it. and still so far out of reach.

sova’s patience only lasts so long. the owl is filled with dread on the daily basis at times, to worry about not only viper’s health but his own too. the american looks out for these moment specifically and is quick to step on them, reassuring him in rubs and sandwiches. the method works out often.

viper hardly allows sova to take her out on dates. relaxation for her as always come out of her experiments and her push for knowledge, not roaming around an amusement park. however, she lets him bring her scarves from the town he grew up in, or spare audio tapes and recordings of his life. it’s enough for them, and they tend to always focus on the happier bits and pieces of sova’s past life.

sova knits viper sweaters sometimes, or just random of things like coasters or gloves. he got it from his babushka, and it’s a tradition that’s stuck with him. viper was amused when she found out about the habit, but somehow accepts and makes use of each and every one of these gifts.

“sabine. is the sweater i gave you sitting in a vat of poison?”

“..no. i’m washing it.”

“by dissolving it?”

sips tea.

#valorant #valorant headcannons #valorant scenarios #valorant sova #valorant viper #viper #sova #wlm #soviper #sovaxviper #anon this is for you homie #writing slow burn romance makes me sleepy

[i-will-physically-fight-you]

Crescent Chapter 3 Revision Notes

Revised Chapter 3 is out baby, view it on tumblr dont talk to me about the links not working on that post its broken for some reason or ao3! Since this chapter feels like the one most heavily updated, here’s some notes on what was reworked

Removed Roman’s pov from the very beginning and replaced it with Patton’s pov. I made this decision because it felt like it made for a stronger opening. Some of Roman’s beginning inner monologue in the original is reused at the end of the revised chapter

Patton tearing that mugger apart is now 40% more gruesome and descriptive. 

Patton’s character is now more rounded out and thoroughly explored imho

Roman, Patton and Logan are now 20% more werewolf in their behavior 

Instead of Logan conveniently arriving home for that Dramatic Entrance when Patton finishes telling Roman what’s up, he’s just there and ready to silently disapprove Patton’s choices in life

The Argument at the end between the three is a bit more expanded upon and Patton has a bit more agency in it. 

Original Word-Count was 2557, Updated Word-Count is 4574, little over 2k more than the original.

Included below is the original chapter 3 so you can see the differences if you’d like

To be fair, Roman wasn’t surprised when Patton came home a stray in tow. Patton had a heart of gold—there wasn’t a mean bone in his body. He cried easily. He cried when a girl and her dog got separated in a movie, and he cried again when the two were reunited. He couldn’t bear passing by a downed bird, injured and all alone. It was why they now had a flock of ravens that took shelter within the confines of their yard.

Roman knew it was always hard for Patton to let go of the strays after he nursed them back to health. He grew attached to their presences, loved them like they were his own children. But he also knew that they couldn’t really care for pets with their type of lifestyle beyond the wild animals like the ravens that just wouldn’t leave. However, that was alright. A flock of ravens were considered good luck among werewolves.

So the ravens stayed, whilst the others were sent away. Logan always did his best to help situate the animals into loving homes. It made Patton feel better knowing that they went to owners who’d care for them just as much as he did.

What he was surprised about was the…species of the stray Patton brought home.

He heard the door click open, as he worked on his canvas. He didn’t bother glancing up. He didn’t need to use his nose to know it was Patton entering their humble yet magnificent dwelling. It couldn’t be anyone else, but Patton as Logan didn’t get off work this early, and there wasn’t anyone else who had a key to the house.

“Hey, padre!” He greeted, frowning as he redrew the eyes of his sketch, “Did you complete your quest to obtain the chocolate chip cookies with the extra chocolateyness?”

“Oh my goodness,” Patton gasped, “I left the cookies back in the city!”

“What happened? Did you get sidetracked by a baby squirrel again?” Roman chuckled.

He expected Patton to launch into some excited ramble about the cute poor animal he came across, or perhaps amazing scent trail that derailed him from his errand. But instead Patton seemed hesitant to share information.

“Not…exactly.” Patton admitted.

“What do you mean?” Roman finally looked up.

Instead of the kitten or baby bird that Roman expected to find, there was a stranger in Patton’s arms. Small and thin and pale in baggy black clothing. His first thought that must be another werewolf—Patton wouldn’t dare bring a human here, would he? But Roman took one sniff and knew immediately.

There was no mistake about it; Patton had brought a human into the home.

“Patton why is he here?” Roman growled, “He’s a human!”

The older man pressed his lips together, walking past Roman to lay the human on the couch before facing him once more.

“He was in trouble, Roman! He—he was all alone and I couldn’t just leave him—” Patton drew a breath, “Please, let me explain.”

-

To be fair, Patton did not mean to go sniffing out for trouble. He only meant to go sniffing out for cookies after another botched attempt at creating them. As much as he loved making food in the kitchen, baking was not his strong suit. Logan said it was because he wasn’t exact with his measurements. Patton didn’t see how adding more sugar could ruin the recipe that much. He only wanted to make the cookies sweeter, and what’s sweeter than sugar itself?

It was alright though, because that just gave himself an excuse to visit Thomas. He let his nose take all the way downtown to the Piece of Cake bakery. The bell jangled as he bounced in, grinning around at the pastel interior of the bakery. He took a deep breath in, letting the sweet scents of the desserts invade his nose.

“Hi Patton! What’ll it be today?” Thomas asked, giving a friendly wave from his place at the counter.

“Thomas! It’s so good to see you!” Patton squealed, reaching over the counter to give the man a hug.

The man let out a surprised yelp, but eagerly returned the hug just the same. He learned by now that Patton often to forgot to ask before he invaded people’s personal spaces in his rush to lavish them with affection.

“Opps sorry,” Patton gave a bashful grin as he withdrew from the hug, “I was just excited to see you! It’s been so long since I’ve seen you!”

“Patton, it’s only been like three days,” Thomas laughed.

“I know, but still.” Patton pouted.

The two made friendly conversation as Patton picked out his order. It wasn’t until another customer came into the bakery that the two exchanged their goodbyes, and Patton made his departure.

He hummed cheerfully, swinging the bag of cookies with each stride. Occasionally at intersections he took a moment to open the bag and smell the delicious sugary delights. Chocolate Chip, Snickerdoodles, Sugar Cookies—the scents tickled his nose with glee.

Patton loved scents—they often told the truth more often than someone else’s words or his own eyes could. He was happy he could always trust his nose when his other senses failed him. He couldn’t imagine not being able to smell! He’d rather give up his sight or his hearing than not being able to smell the comforting presences of his packmates.

Once, Logan revealed to him that humans couldn’t smell as well as their kind. Patton cried for fifteen minutes straight after that.

“Why are you crying?” Logan asked, awkwardly patting Patton’s back, “Humans’ sense of smell may be feeble compared to ours, but they have been able to survive just fine with it the way that it is. Besides, it is not as if they know the difference.”

“Exactly!” Patton sobbed harder, “They’ll never know how—how wonderful smell is.”

Logan sighed.

“Would it help any to say as a former human, that I now know how wonderful a heightened sense of smell can be?”

“A little.” Patton sniffled.

The crosswalk switched from an angry red hand to the cute walking stick figure that signaled it was the pedestrians turn to walk. The crowd surged forward, a few people bumping into Patton’s shoulder as they passed by him.

“Oh!” He looked up from the bag, spying the crosswalk signal. He covered up the bag once more and hurried across the crosswalk.

It was a long walk to the outskirts of the city where Roman, Logan and Patton lived, but he much preferred it over taking the car. As much as he enjoyed driving, he didn’t enjoy that thick traffic that left him antsy in the seat knowing he could walk faster than how fast the car was crawling across the interstate. When there wasn’t traffic clogging the streets, the car whipped by faster than Patton’s liking.

He took the idiom “stop and smell the roses” literally. Patton enjoyed walking because of the journey. He loved hearing the chatter out of the bustling city, the wind rustling his hair, seeing the various sights that the city had to offer. Not to mention the smells. While some scents like gasoline could be nauseating to smell, there was scents like—pizza. Greasy breading baked with tomato sauce and cheese with a variety of toppings. His stomach grumbled in agreement.

As if in a trance, Patton’s feet led him in the direction of a nearby pizzeria. It wasn’t until he was a block away from the restaurant that he realized how far off he deviated from the walk home. He needed to walk north, not inwards towards the heart of the city. As much as his mouth watered for pizza, he already prepared a delicious meal at home. He would have to save pizza for another day. Perhaps he could even make homemade pizza! He hadn’t tried that doing that yet.

It was hard to suppress his urge to chase after every wonderful scent that infiltrated his nose, however. The closer he came towards home, the more overwhelming it became. When Patton had been younger, it was harder for him to ignore the urges to chase after the scents. Flowers, perfume, the smell of Asian food wafting in the air from a nearby restaurant—it enticed and overwhelmed him.

He chased the scents, curious to see where they led. Often, he found himself in trouble from sticking his nose where it didn’t belong. After spending his childhood largely isolated from the human world, he had been ignorant of appropriate manners among humans. For example, humans often took offense if you smelled them. Whereas werewolves had very little sense of personal space. Something that could be found inherent in Patton by how he heaped affection on people within five seconds of meeting them.

Patton knew better now. He recognized he couldn’t gleefully chase each scent without abandon. He had a responsibility to look after the needs of the others. If Patton didn’t remind the two workaholics when to eat, he wasn’t sure who else would.

Gotta focus, gotta focus, gotta focus. The mantra ran through his mind repeatedly. He opened the bag of cookies once more, taking a deep whiff to remind himself of his mission. The rich chocolate, cinnamon goodness and fear reminded him that he can’t wait to share them with the others—wait.

Patton paused in the middle of the sidewalk, causing the person behind him to grumble in frustration. Fear? That can’t be right. That scent doesn’t belong with a cookie but rather—a living being. He scanned the bustling crowd who traveled down the sidewalk as usual. The scent of increased perspiration clung to the air, how could the humans just ignore it? Could they not smell it?

He didn’t stay put to find out. There’s no question in his mind whether if he should not follow this scent. His heart pounded, as he dashed after the scent. He trusted his nose to lead him to the source.

“Opps, Excuse me! Sorry!” He called out, apologizing to disgruntled pedestrians as he tore through the foot traffic. His large, hulking figure was perfect at plowing through the crowd—no one wanted to get trampled by a 6’2 man.

He skidded around a corner, the scent leading him to the entrance of a winding, dark alleyway. There lay a sight that angered him. A large burly human held a gun against a smaller one, who shook badly from terror.

Patton let out a low growl, too upset to say anything intelligible. His claws came out as he launched himself at the mugger, tearing him away from the small human. A shot rang out from his gun, and Patton could only hope it didn’t hit the human on the ground. The mugger attempted pointing his gun towards Patton, but he ripped the weapon out of his hand and onto the ground.

The mugger made a frantic scramble after it, but Patton pinned him to the ground. He sunk his claws into the man, and only let go when the man went limp.

He breathed in deeply, forcing himself to relax. His instincts screamed at him to remain on guard. But the danger had passed, and he needed to make sure the small human was okay. He was ignorant of a lot of things about humans, but he did know they could be easily frightened by his more wolfish appearance. The last thing he wanted was to scare the poor guy even further. As soon as he morphed back into a humanoid appearance, his focus went immediately to the small human—his eyes widening in concern at their collapsed figure.

“Are you alright?!” He called out as he rushed to their side. Their head lolled backwards, signaling that they had gone unconscious.

A surge of protectiveness took over him as he immediately gathered the human in his embrace. He can’t help but marvel over how small and fragile the human looked! He must have been the runt in his litter. The human wore a raggedy black hoodie and ripped jeans with scuffed up converse. His face was too thin to be healthy, and those circles underneath his eyes! If the poor thing didn’t faint from fright, he certainly fainted from exhaustion.

He gasped upon seeing the bandages wrapped around the human’s hands. The skin underneath looked red and swollen, indicating it was a fresh wound. The human’s hair was glistened with sweat. Patton pressed a hand against his forehead and nearly flinched at how warm it felt. He shouldn’t feel this warm…humans shouldn’t feel this warm, right?

Patton snuck a glance towards the mugger, and immediately withheld the urge to vomit. The wounds looked deeper than Patton had initially thought and although the mugger was still breathing, it might not be for long. Patton was a lover not a fighter. The thought that he could be this man’s cause of death was haunting. But as he looked back down at the runt, he didn’t regret it. The mugger had threatened an innocent life, and Patton wasn’t going to stand there and watch it happen.

That was also the reason why he couldn’t just leave the human, alone and unconscious, in the alley alone with the bleeding-out stranger that tried to kill him. If someone came across him, he’d be an easy meal. He had to take the human somewhere safe. The only thing is, Patton had no way of knowing where he lived. He had no way of tracking down his home. It was nearly impossible to distinguish a scent from the hundreds of millions of aromas existing in the city air.

A scream interrupted his thoughts. Patton looked up to see a woman staring from the entrance of the alleyway, covering up her mouth in horror. Patton’s mind came to a screeching halt as his instincts screamed a singular command at him. Run.

This was not a time to attempt explaining the situation. His nerves were shot, and he was afraid of what was going to befall on the human. Would the other humans see how sick and small he was and attempted to finish what the mugger started? He couldn’t let this small human go through any more pain than he already had. Not now he was here. He scooped up the human in his arms, sprinting into through the sidewalks of the city.

He ran as fast as his feet would carry him, afraid that police sirens would be after him at any moment. Patton was fast, but not fast enough to outrun a car. Especially while carrying the human, despite how worryingly light he was.

Patton, being paranoid, took detours—attempting to throw off any would-be pursuers off his trail. When he finally reached the porch of the house, he almost collapsed from exhaustion. The human let out a cry in his sleep, and Patton stroked his hair.

“Shhh,” He said, “You’re safe now.”

The human unconsciously leaned into the touch, completely relaxing in Patton’s hold. The werewolf’s heart melted even further.  If Patton’s heart was a popsicle, it was now a puddle of sugary sweet liquid.

As he sat on the porch, the human lying draped across his lap, he started to realize that Logan and Roman probably wouldn’t be happy with this arrangement. But Patton wasn’t going to abandon him, even if he was a human!

Which was why, he was now pleading to let the human stay with them.

“Please Roman, he needs help, I couldn’t just leave him all like that!” Patton begged, “Please don’t tell Logan—not yet, at least.”

“Tell Logan, what?”

Logan stood in the door frame, arms crossed as he stared down at the unconscious form of the human on the couch. Patton gulped.

He did not look happy.

“Hi Logan,” Patton chuckled nervously.

“What is he doing here?” Logan gestured to the human, “He shouldn’t be here, Patton. Do you remember what happened last time we let a human in our house?”

“This—this is different,” Patton insisted, “He needs us!”

“He needs to go!” Roman burst, clenching his fists.

Logan turned to look at Patton.

“Explain.” He said, and Patton did.

He repeated the same story as he had with Roman, with a few occasional interruptions by Logan who reminded him to stick the facts and not stray off into tangents. Once he finished, Logan sighed and pinched his nose between his fingers.

“So, what I’m hearing is that you panicked and weren’t thinking straight.”

Roman snorted. “Patton doesn’t think straight—ever.”

“I couldn’t just leave him all alone like that! What if he got attacked again?” Patton huffed.

“You could’ve left him at a police station or taken him to the hospital if you were worried about his health.”

Now that he thought about it, those might’ve been better options. Logan had always been good at figuring out more rational solutions to problems than Patton. But it didn’t change the fact that the tiny human was here now and needed their help.

“He needs a pack, Logan. And I know you know how to care for sick humans!”

Logan raised an eyebrow, “Patton, humans are social creatures, I’m sure he has packmates of his own who are concerned by his disappearance. There’s also no telling how he would react once discovering our true nature. We should take him to the hospital.”

Patton frowned. He hadn’t taken in consideration that the small human might already have packmates. If he did, Patton didn’t think they were good packmates based on the human’s malnourished appearance.

“We don’t have to tell him about the pack. But we can’t just leave him alone in the hands of strangers, Logan! We should care for him until we find out where his packmates are.”

Roman glanced between the two like a child observing an argument between their parents unfold in front of them.

Logan said nothing, reaching downwards to feel the human’s forehead.

“His temperature is unusually warm,” He noted, “We should take his jacket off—to help cool down his temperature.”

Patton’s eyes widened.

“Does that mean—”

“Yes, he can stay,” Logan said before clarifying, “only until he’s no longer ill.”

Roman’s eyes flashed angrily.

“Wh—”

“Patton, can you go prepare the spare bedroom for the human?” Logan interrupted.

“Of course!” Patton beamed as he scurried out.

As soon as Patton left the room, Roman turned to face Logan.

“Do I have no say in this?” Roman spluttered indignantly, “Am I the only one who thinks this is a bad idea? It’s a human, Logan. A. Human.”

“A human who is physically weaker, underfed and feverish compared to us. While it would be optimal to take him to a hospital, you and I both know about how attached Patton gets to…strays. I theorize he’s able to pack-bond more easily with other species than us.”

“Look, I don’t want to hurt Patton’s feelings as much you do, but we should put the safety of the pack first.”

“I did consider the safety of the pack in my decision making. This is a compromise—we’ll look after the human for long as he’s sick in exchange for Patton promising to return him to his friends and family,” Logan explained, “Who knows? The human might even want to leave early.”

He walked towards his study before turning to glance back at Roman.

“Make no mistake. I know how dangerous humans can be; I was once one myself, Roman, and I have no intentions of harboring the delusion of keeping one in our home any longer than necessary.”

#kat talks #writing woes #werewolf au

[ghostxraven]

hi hello whats up im thinkin abt ur kjs again bc i love them and uhhhh you got any spare funpoison thoughts?

hiiii jordan!!

i always appreciate getting to talk abt them :’} (and u thinking abt my killjoys........🥺 ily)

so uhh i think commitment bands are like. a combo of knotted thread and beadwork? and there are different designs but usually they involve using your colors and sometimes the colors of the person you’re making it for....anyways the bracelet poison made for ghoul is very carefully made but not particularly pretty — there are flaws in the knotwork and mistakes in the pattern; poison was really worried that ghoul wasn’t going to like it but naturally ghoul didn’t care about that (like....both of them cried when they got engaged of course he wasn’t going to care)

uh so i mentioned before that ghoul likes to cook....i think if poison’s really stressed or he’s going on a run w/out them he’ll make whatever comfort foods he can remember the recipes for which mostly includes stuff he grew up with, aka things his grandma taught him......so a mix of more western foods and things she learned how to make from her parents, like nikuman (pork buns) and japanese cheesecake but also this one homemade brownie recipe she used to make for his birthday. it’s part of his love language n i just think. sharing food.......love. 💟

when one or the other is having a bad pain day w their scars (tho it’s usually ghoul, the scar on his face has a tendency to ache especially with all the grit in the desert) they’ll just kinda curl together if it’s both of them just to have something to hold on to....offer comfort....if it’s one of them, the other will bring them cool rags n help them w putting cream on the places it hurts. ghoul in particular sometimes won’t want to eat because of it n poison’ll make soft neutral foods that aren’t dog kibble so he’ll actually get some food in him. they aren’t necessarily a stellar cook but they can make like. macaroni or mashed potatoes

before they got together poison used to make these sad shmoopy mixtapes with cassettes they wheedled out of dr. d’s and once they actually started dating ghoul found the shoebox with like. fifteen to twenty tapes in it and was like :)c what’s this. poison was (very) embarrassed but ghoul thinks it’s cute and wouldn’t let them get rid of them. (ghoul thinks everything they do is cute. kobra tells him that’s gross.)

ghoul likes stories, poison likes art — they’ve done little comics together, just for fun; the girl ended up with some copies, charlie ended up with others, and some of them went to like, gravel gertie’s or motorbaby caravans for some of the younger ‘joys who don’t have much in the way of personal belongings

poison insists on keeping ghoul’s bike kept up because he knows how much ghoul cares about it, even if he says it’s not important. ghoul let them paint it for him, once, and poison fussed over the design for way too long because he wanted it to be perfect, even though in the end they ended up doing it together, just like they do when the trans am needs a touch-up coat of paint

and ik i’ve mentioned that poison likes to be in ghoul’s lap, but it really is all the time. if they aren’t a) working on separate projects in the booth, or b) having 2 pay attention to something important (i.e. instructions from dr. d or someone similar regarding a raid or supply run, etc) then poison is almost always draped across ghoul’s lap: on the couch, in the backseat of the trans am, hanging out at a party. it doesn’t matter if there’s room for them to sit right next to him (*john mulaney voice* pointing this out confuses and upsets him) it’s common to walk into a room and see ghoul working on something with poison sitting backwards on the same chair, chin on his shoulder, reading a zine or smth over his back.

:’) i love they. i hope these r sufficient ik i tend to ramble ❤️

(ty jordan!!)

#pi's personal #funpoison #ttlotfk #killjoys california #danger days #hcs #query on top #treasured mutuals #jordan tag ⚠️ #uhhhhhhh.........Love. *wailing* #for bl: #food #medical #?

[uwua3]

your name (pt. 3)

❄️📚 tsukiokia tsumugi

part 1 — part 2 — part 3

summary: as tsumugi wakes up, he meets your best friend

warnings: lack of food

author’s note: good day everyone! i hope you enjoy part 3 of my newest series !! ₍₍ ( ๑॔˃̶◡ ˂̶๑॓)◞♡ please have a good rest of your day~! :D tsumugi & tasuku ♡LOVE♡ you!!!

word count: 1,966

Tsumugi woke up.

For once, he felt well rested. That’s when Tsumugi knew something wasn’t right. Rapidly straightening his back, Tsumugi felt like he was living in the past. It seemed as if he was in a classroom, a setting Tsumugi hadn’t seen in quite a long time. Rows of clean desks surrounded him neatly, with students filing in to fill each seat. Tsumugi slowly looked around, the bright sunlight nearly blinding him as a cloudless blue sky greeted him. The chatter of noisy college students became more audible, and Tsumugi felt like he was back on the morning shinkansen. As Tsumugi looked out the window at the small school campus, a hand abruptly ruffled his hair.

“Morning, lazy. You just got here and you’re already tired?” The boy scoffed, but not in a cruel way. It was a manner of speaking that came from being childhood friends, even if Tsumugi had no idea who this man was. Tsumugi cleared his throat, unsure of how to respond before his eyes widened. Just at that slight sound, Tsumugi could tell this wasn’t some dream. And, this wasn’t his body to begin with.

“Hey… wait, you okay?” The man asked, concerned but when he addressed Tsumugi by a new name, Tsumugi could feel his heartbeat in his ears. What was going on? Where was he? Who was he? Who was this student before him? As Tsumugi barely comprehended the situation, the bell rang as the teacher walked in. Immediately, every student stood up to greet the head instructor. The man just talking to Tsumugi pulled him up by the arm, forcing him to bow so he wouldn’t get in trouble. The touch upon his lower back seemed to bring him back to reality, because Tsumugi forced out a polite “Good morning, sensei” in tune with everyone else. As everyone sat back down, the man sat next to Tsumugi with worry apparent in his facial expression.

The man already appeared cross and serious at first glance, but the furrow in his thick black eyebrows was even more alarming. As the professor began lecturing about some subject he had a basic understanding of, a note was expertly slipped onto his desk without another word. Tsumugi could tell the pair had done this more times than they could count. Tsumugi hadn’t, so his fingers were unfamiliar with opening the paper without getting caught.

Meet me on the rooftop after class — Tasuku

Tasuku, Tasuku, Tasuku. Tsumugi read the name over and over again, even after he shot Tasuku a weak thumbs up (he had received a confused look back, but a nod nonetheless). Something about that name rang every alarm inside his head, but then again, it’s not like Tsumugi trusted his gut. Where did he know that name from? It was out of the ordinary for Tsumugi to mindlessly drift off during a lesson, but he couldn’t help it. Tsumugi was silently accepting that this was all too real to be a figment of his wild imagination.

The sound of the harsh eraser ripping paper, furious note-taking with pens, the conversation from other classrooms drifting through the open windows. It was all so much to take in at once. The professor went on as they wrote key points with chalk upon the green board, the loud scratch and clack of the white dust making Tsumugi’s head spin. Tsumugi didn’t even take out his notebook at first, and when he did, he realized this handwriting was not his own. The person’s writing was messy and rushed, like all his other students. It was for a subject Tsumugi didn’t recall that well. Before Tsumugi could read the date of the entry, another hand was placed upon his shoulder. Warily, this time.

“Class is dismissed.” Tasuku stated, as a matter of fact. Tsumugi didn’t have to do much to confirm it was true, as the group of students left for their lunch period. Even the professor was looking at the two, wondering why they were still here. With a flush of embarrassment, Tsumugi quickly grabbed his bag and nodded, unable to speak. Tasuku’s eyebrows raised even higher at this profound silence, but didn’t say another word before tilting his head towards the corridor. Tsumugi had no choice but to follow. What else could Tsumugi do except put all his trust into this random student named Tasuku?

The two walked against the crowd, but no one paid any mind to Tsumugi. That was the joy of college, Tsumugi gratefully remembered. Everyone was always too busy with their own plans that judging others became a hobby only for the privileged. Or, maybe it was the fact Tsumugi’s small frame was already being covered by Tasuku anyways. Tasuku was tall, much taller at this shorter height Tsumugi found himself in. Not only that, but Tasuku was clearly physically fit, with bulging muscles beneath his skin tight soccer shirt. The uniform was designed with unfamiliar school colors, and Tsumugi didn’t recognize the name of the university. However, Tsumugi read the name in bold letters on the back with a sense of recognition.

Takoto #6. Takoto Tasuku. Tsumugi thought of this name over and over again. It wasn’t until Tasuku looked over his shoulder with narrowed eyes that he randomly stopped in the middle of the hallway. Life went on as students simply passed them without sparing a look.

“Did you just say my name?” Tasuku asked, and Tsumugi grew redder realizing he was most likely muttering out loud. Perhaps that reaction wasn’t normal, because Tasuku quickened his pace to the rooftop. Tsumugi attempted to match Tasuku’s steps, but the height difference was staggering. It was clear Tasuku was some big name soccer player with how fast he was. Whoever Tsumugi was, was not that athletic.

Tasuku held open the door as the two made their way up the stairs. Entering the rooftop, Tsumugi could spot a few students here and there eating their packed lunch as the wind carried their conversations away. At this height, Tsumugi could barely see anything except scattered homes and thousands of trees. A little town not too far from here was peeking through on the mountainside, and Tsumugi almost forgot how peaceful a small town was. Tasuku sat down near a net, waiting for Tsumugi to choose a place as well.

This must’ve been some sort of test, because Tasuku was carefully watching him. Naturally, Tsumugi sat beside Tasuku on the right like it was second nature. That seemed to be the right choice, because Tasuku let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. Without taking out his bento box, Tasuku crossed his arms as he leaned against the volleyball net pole.

“We’re alone now. What’s wrong with you?” Tasuku finally asked, carefully analyzing Tsumugi’s every move. Tsumugi didn’t know what to say; he was usually the one listening, not talking. It was out of his comfort zone to now be expected to talk. What was he supposed to even say? What did this original person even act like? Tsumugi wished he could read Tasuku, but the man was a closed book so far.

“I… I’m just tired.” Tsumugi admitted, trying not to pay attention to every inflection in this new voice. Tsumugi knew he’d just overthink himself to death if he actually observed every little change in this new environment. It definitely wasn’t a lie to say he was overwhelmingly exhausted, not only with this body switch but with life’s challenges in general. Tasuku seemed to see that, since he nodded and accepted the response. Thankfully, it seemed like Tasuku wasn’t the type to demand an explanation so quickly. At that, the two finally took out their lunches and ate in relative silence.

Tsumugi took some time to think everything over rationally as he tried to not devour this homemade lunch. It had been so long since he had anything not from the 7/11 convenience store. Right now, he was having an onigiri only a grandmother could make. It took all of Tsumugi’s willpower not to act like he was starving (he was) in front of the effortlessly cool and intimidating Takoto Tasuku.

From the short time Tsumugi’s known him, Tasuku was already impressive. Students acknowledged him in the hallways, he obviously had a reputation with sports, and he was a loyal friend right from the start. Tsumugi couldn’t help but admire him, even if he had just met the man a mere hour ago. But, there was something about Tasuku. Something more. Tsumugi couldn’t place his finger on what exactly made Tasuku feel so... familiar.

Tsumugi spaced out, already finishing his lunch. Before Tsumugi could get too distracted, Tasuku’s hand appeared in his sight once more. This appeared to be a common theme, not that Tsumugi minded. In Tasuku’s hand was a pair of chopsticks holding some sort of… fried fish?

“Here. Make sure to eat more, I can hear your stomach from here.” Tasuku grumbled, pretending like it was an inconvenience to take care of Tsumugi, but his proud puff of his chest betrayed him when Tsumugi took a bite. It was so good, Tsumugi wanted to know the recipe straight away. At the sight of his sparkling eyes, Tasuku just pushed his box over, insisting that he wasn’t hungry anymore.

“Besides, I have to stay fit for my game tomorrow anyways. You’re coming, right?” Tasuku shot Tsumugi a genuine smile when he immediately nodded his head. Tsumugi internally cursed himself over the fact he had no idea where Tasuku was even playing, but shoved food into his mouth to avoid thinking about it too hard.

“I-I’m…” Tsumugi swallowed the vegetables quickly, forgetting his mouth was open to begin with. He truly wasn’t used to this much food being in his mouth all at once. Tasuku smirked, trying to stifle his snicker behind his hand as he pretended to cough into his fist. Tsumugi didn’t know why, but his immediate reflex was to send a light punch against Tasuku’s bicep. Was that the right move? Tasuku froze for a split second before sending one back, twice as hard. Ow.

“I’ll be your biggest fan tomorrow, Ta-chan.” Tsumugi said honestly, not knowing if it was solely his words or someone else’s. Maybe, even a mixture of both. Tsumugi never got swayed by anyone quickly, but it was hard not to do that when Tasuku seemed to be his only friend. Tasuku widened his eyes before looking away, watching some boys play volleyball with a slight hue of red across his cheeks. Tasuku was desperately trying to hide his embarrassment, but it was a fail once his voice cracked at the beginning of his next sentence.

“Ta-chan? You haven’t said that in so long, idiot.” Tasuku ended roughly, acting like this was nothing. Tsumugi didn’t have the heart to tease such a nice boy, and just hummed.

“Thanks, though.” Tasuku quietly replied, and Tsumugi just noticed his country twang to his words. They must’ve been hours from Tokyo, Tsumugi mused, but he smiled anyways. Tsumugi didn’t know how it looked upon this face, but it seemed to work when Tasuku smiled back.

The bell rang once more, signaling the end of recess and lunch. Tasuku stood up and offered his hand, the other behind his neck as his blush became prominent in the daylight.

“Come on, you must not want to move with how much food you ate.”

“It was good!” Tsumugi defended himself, but took Tasuku’s hand anyway. Something flashed in Tsumugi’s vision before it was gone as soon as it came. Tsumugi didn’t think anymore of it, and followed Tasuku to the next class.

Tsumugi was so full and content that he didn’t realize he didn’t let go of Tasuku’s hand all the way to class.

#tsukioka tsumugi #tsumugi tsukioka #a3! act! addict! actors! #a3! #act! addict! actors! #a3! actor training game #mankai a3! #mankai company #a3! x reader #a3 x reader #tsumugi x reader #a3! tsumugi #a3 tsumugi

[cluelessnamelessao3]

It’s Raining Somewhere Else

The One with Puns Between Pals

The walk was relatively quiet, though you do attempt some small talk. Sans, for his part, seemed determined to keep his mouth shut. The air was still and crisp, the streets were mostly empty, aside from the occasional straggler returning home from a long day of work. You were feeling comfortable, wrapped up in Sans’ coat, as you walked beside him. You tried to relish the feeling of the heavy jacket and you felt reluctant to go home, knowing you would have to return it.

“Thanks for walking me home,” you tried again to make conversation.

“tibia bit honest, it is on my way.”

You smiled at the pun, “Is it? No, uh, fibula?”

He snickered, “your delivery could use some work, but nice one.”

“Well, I am sorry, but you still found it humerus. So, not sorry at all.”

You earned a chuckle from that one and it warmed your heart to hear his deep and gravelly laugh.

“guess you’re not such a bonehead after all.”

“To patella you the truth, I do feel a little bit like a knucklehead when it comes to the art of punnery.”

He really laughed at that one, you beamed with pride, “i’ve got your back, but i kneed you to know you’re talking to a pro.”

“I appreciate that a skeleton.”

While laughing, he responded “that’s a bone-us, then. to tell you the tooth, my brother doesn’t find my jokes very fibula-ous. he doesn’t appreciate a good ribbing.”

You were out of puns, so you helpfully provided, “uh, phalanges.”

This caused him to stop and look at you, something indiscernible in his eye sockets, before folding with laughter. You doubled over yourself, embarrassed at your lack of pun game, but happy that you could him to laugh so hard.

“phalanges?” he managed to choke out between laughs.

“I was at a loss for another good pun, I need to study some anatomy, I guess.”

At that, he went quiet, his skeletal cheeks glowing a light blue.

After a beat of silence, he resumed walking and you worried that somehow you offended him.

However, after another few moments, he mumbled out “s’all good, you did your best.”

You smiled, “well, I tried at least.”

“it’s the ulna thing i ask.”

“You’re too good, Sans, I can’t keep up. I’m—” you paused, unsure of if your next words will be taken the wrong way, but continued despite your hesitation, “I’m boned.”

You didn’t quite hear what he said next, but it almost sounded like “you could be.”

The rest of the walk back was finished in a companionable silence. You noticed that same blue tinge from earlier still dusting Sans’ cheeks as he stopped outside your apartment building.

Bravely, you asked “Do you want to come in?”

To your surprise, he answered “sure.”

As you walked down the hall to your small apartment, you fretted about the condition of your little abode. Would it be dirty? Did I remember to put my laundry away? Did Lampshade behave while I was gone?

These worries proved unnecessary as you opened the door to a small but relatively tidy little room. You placed your keys on the counter, digging your phone out of your purse to see a few text messages from your only other skeletal friend. He was inviting you to another get together, one with Undyne and another of their friends, named Alphys. You shoot back a quick response, accepting the invitation happily, before placing your phone on the mini table next to the couch in your cramped living room. It was an open floorplan, where the kitchen faces the living room, with one hallway shooting off into where your bedroom was. Thankfully, your door was closed, so there was really no need to worry about any mess or potentially embarrassing sights.

“Do you want a cup of tea… or, hold on, I might have something you’ll like.”

Sans was standing awkwardly in the foyer, seeming unsure of himself. Briefly, you wondered if he regretted accepting your invite. After a pause, though, he shook himself and crept into the living room.

“Make yourself comfortable,” you called over your shoulder as you dug into the fridge, searching for one thing in particular. It was still there, and you grab it with some excitement, a little tub of homemade ketchup. You weren’t much of a chef, to be honest, but you did enjoy making your own food. You wouldn’t admit it to anyone, let alone yourself, but after you had seen Sans’ love for ketchup, you decided to learn to make some, under the premise of ‘it’s probably cheaper to make myself’. It wasn’t. But you had fun.

Eagerly, you presented the container to Sans with a flourish. He looked amused and slightly confused, before opening it to take a sniff. You turned back to the kitchen and busy yourself with making a pot of tea while Sans dips a finger delicately into the condiment and takes a taste.

“ketchup?”

“Yeah, I don’t cook a lot, but I wanted to try making my own sauces to keep on hand… it’s homemade.”

“s’good.”

You smiled, your heart fluttering just the slightest at his small praise.

“Thanks, I can share the recipe sometime if you want. I can make you tea as well, I just thought you might like that since you always get ketchup at Grillby’s.”

“sure, thanks,” he replied coyly, “or, you could just make some more for me.”

“Oh! Yeah!” You were too eager, but you didn’t care. This was the most conversation you had had with Sans to this day. You would’ve agreed to pretty much anything if it kept the skeleton happy and chatty.

“my brother will probably want the recipe though. he’s a cool guy, learning to cook. maybe he’ll become a chef someday.”

“Well, if he does, tell me when and where so I can be his first customer.”

“heh. i bet you would like him.”

“What is he like?”

Just then, your phone dinged with a message alert. Sans glanced at it, looking at the sender with interest. You scrambled to get to your phone, seeing a reply from Papyrus. Without hesitation, you opened the message and sent a thumbs-up emoji as well as a little heart. It took a second before your phone was flooded with a few emojis and one gif of a skeleton dancing. The smile on your face was soft and sweet as you click the phone closed and place it back onto the table.

Sans remained quiet throughout the short exchange, just watching you with a contemplative look on his face.

Embarrassed and apologetic, you turned to him once more, “Sorry about that, making plans with some friends for this weekend.”

He nodded, still seeming to be thinking intently.

“So uh, your brother, what is he like? He likes to cook… and you mentioned one time that he enjoys a good bedtime story…”

Sans expression was indecipherable, but his tone carried an affectionate lilt as he talked about his brother. The details he gave were sparse, but you felt as though this mysterious brother sounded awfully familiar. Was it rude to think that Papyrus and Sans could be related? You weren’t sure if that was being presumptuous, did you only think they were related because they were both skeletons?

You were starting to feel too warm, when you remembered that you were still wearing Sans’ coat. Sheepishly, you took it off and offered it back to him.

“Thanks for letting me wear it, I would’ve been cold to the bone on that walk back. I need to start remembering to bring my own jacket.”

He took it and laid it on the couch beside him, “s’really not a problem.”

“You can take the rest of that ketchup with you, by the way. I can always make more… I’ll, uh, let you know the next time I do so you can grab some.”

“appreciate it.”

Lampshade took his opportunity to appear, having hidden from you upon seeing your company. Lightly, the cat leaped onto the couch back and gingerly sniffed Sans skull. Sans, to his credit, did not startle at the sudden appearance, although he did look somewhat uncomfortable.

“you have a cat?”

“Yeah, his name is Lampshade, but you can call him Shade, too.”

“nice to meet you, lampshade,” Sans said, watching the cat carefully.

For good reason, as Lampshade swatted at his head. You noticed he did not extend his claws, if anything, he seemed positively playful.

“you’ve cat to be kitten me,” Sans looked almost offended, but there was a light in his eye sockets as he regarded the little furry assailant.

“Meow, Shade, that is not how we greet our guests. You’re being… pawful.”

Sans chuckled, “it’s okay, i’ve got to get going anyway. you know the deal, brothers and bedtime stories.”

You nodded, your disappointment palpable, even to Sans.

“i’ll see ya around, kit,” as he stood to leave, he glanced once more at your phone, his expression unreadable. He grabbed the container of ketchup and waltzed out of your apartment. You closed the door behind him, before realising his jacket was still on your couch. When you opened the door to call after him, assuming he would still be making his way down the hall, he was already gone.

Huh. That was weird.

#undertale #it's raining somewhere else #undertale sans #sans fanfiction #undertale fanfiction #sans/reader #sans/female reader #chapter 7 it's raining somewhere else

[hs-devote]

5. T H E   S T Y L E S

Moodboard // Content // Masterlist

Disclaimer:

All characters and situation in this story are fictitious. Resemblance to any person living or dead is only God knows.

Previous chapter :

Harry was accustomed to returning to a house that was always dark, and empty. There was only him, or Suzanne - if she was having work to do . Until that night, Harry was confused when his house did not feel as quiet as usual.

5. THE STYLES

His head tilted to the voice, finding someone who he hadn't met in months, his mother, in his dining room, eating whatever it was with a glass of red wine next to her plate. Harry blinked his eyes, thinking he was hallucinating. No way his mother was in here, travelling all the way from Manchester. She would tell him if she wanted to visit.

“Mum?” He mumbled, much more like to himself while his feet taking him closer. Anne just smiled, raising her glass. “Why come home so late? It's 11.00 pm already.”

The first thing Harry did; hug his mother tightly, feeling so miss her. “What are you doing here? Why you didn't tell me you're here?”

“I just miss my dear son so much. I didn't want to bother you if I called you. Think a surprise would do something, did it?” Anne ruffled Harry's hair. Harry chuckled, letting his arms go. “Definitely.”

Anne took a good look over her son, she hadn't seen him in a few months, but it felt like years. In fact, she could have often to visit Harry, but she knew Harry would spend more time with his work. Harry wasn't someone who prioritize work over his family, no, he was just happy to work hard to make his family proud.

“I met Suzanne earlier and she cooked these delicious meals. Lucky I didn't wait for you in starving. It surprised me that she cooked the recipe that I gave.”

“Oh! No wonder Suzanne knew my favourite food. They were your original recipes, weren't they?”

“I just want to make sure my son always remembers his mother with those cooking recipes!”

Both of them laughed out loud, exchange stories here and there. His mother was a place where he could tell his story without having to care about people's judgement – of course, he wouldn't say something that makes Anne sad or worry. The last thing he wanted in the world was to see the sadness on his mother's face.

“I didn't see Clementia, where is she? Is she coming with you?” Harry asked, his eyes looking around his dining room. But he didn't see anyone but his mother.

“She had fallen asleep in the second room.” Anne shrugged, sipping her wine. “She's in her college break and came home since she was getting bored in Milan. So, I took her here.”

Harry was not the only child in the Styles family. He had a younger sister, Clementia, or used to be he called her Cece. She was a fashion design student in one of the best fashion schools in Italy. Thanks to Harry for successfully persuaded Anne to let her study abroad.

“If she wasn't lazy enough, she could explore the south-west. Really, really beautiful place.”

“She just missed her older brother so much, Harry.” Anne swatted her son's arm playfully. “Are you hungry? I think there are still leftovers for you.”

Harry shook his head, telling her he wanted to take a shower and go straight to sleep afterwards. After bidding her good night, Harry headed to his room.

The sun shone brightly this morning, replacing the moon in the sky. His feet soles froze when stepping on the cold bedroom floor. Harry slowly rose up from the bed, walking out from his room with the sleeping robe that was not perfectly tied, showing a little amount of his chest hair and his swallow tattoos. This morning felt more alive than usual. His mother was cooking while chatting with Suzanne, who helped her for breakfast. Then he found Clementia who was busy capturing the morning view of London from the living room.

He stunned in his spot for a short time, smiling over the nice ambience he rarely felt while living alone in London. This was rare, or almost never, his morning felt warm like this. Harry was accustomed to having breakfast alone, or at least with Suzanne – yet she cleaned the kitchen more often than accompanied him to having breakfast together.

“Why girls love to show off on Instagram like that?” His deep morning voice startled Clementia. Making her yelped in surprise. The girl threw her brand new phone, she tackled her brother in a big hug.

“I miss you so much, H!”

“Miss you too darling.” He hummed, rubbing her back. Anne just smiled, watching the interaction of her children.

“How did you know I was recording it for Instagram?” Clementia asked, releasing his body from her. She dropped her body to the couch, grabbing her phone.

“Because you're now posting in that Instagram story thingy.” He teased, glancing slightly to her screen – which displays Instagram feeds. He could see her icon now circled by pinkish colour.

“I'm amazed by the view! Your living room is insane. I mean, you can see the whole of London clearly as possible through this big glass. Hell, almost all of your living room's walls are glass.” She answered in awe.

“Enjoy while you're in London then.”

“Breakfast kids!” Anne shouted, placing her freshly cooked foods. Pulling his chair, Harry sat at the end of the marble table, his smile wide due to having companies for this morning's breakfast. He muttered small thank you when Anne got his plate.

“Hey, H. Any recommendations place for me today? The weather outside is nice for sightseeing.” Clementia asked while chewing her pancakes. Harry stopped, his pink lips pursed as if he was thinking hard. “If you enjoy some foods, try Maltby Street Market, or walking down the street in Camden or Soho?”

The siblings talked a lot to each other. Harry was the brother who always asks how her sister at school and what she learned while living abroad. While Clementia was a talkative little sister with her enormous curiosity. Anne just listened to them, sometimes talked to Suzanne about Harry's daily life.

After finishing his food, Harry put his plate in the dishwasher and getting ready to the office. Thirty minutes later, he appeared in his work suit. His unbuttoned red shirt clad his fit body, with a black suit jacket hanging on his arm. “I have to go, bye mum, Suzanne, and.. Cece.”

“Hey, how many times I have to tell you don't call me Cece!” Clementia yelled from her seat, making Anne pinch her arm playfully. She shook her head, watching her son closed the door while Cece still ranting.

“Mum, do you think I can pay him a visit in his office?” Clementia mumbled, asking Anne. Her mother just shrugged, “As long as you don't bother him.”

. . . .

Black boots stomped on the floor, eyes fixated straight as she walked into the building. The way she dressed up in a fancy Italian ready-to-wear brand catching every eye. Almost everyone in the room guessing the lady was a model for the way she walked and her clothing taste.

“Hi, I want to see Harry, please.” Her voice made Madeleine snapped her head on her desk. Looking at her from head to toe, not in a rude way. Standing in front of her, a female teenager who looked no more than seventeen years old. What did this little lady want to do with her boss?

“Err, Mr. Styles?” Madeleine asked in uncertainty. Even though this girl knew Harry, Harry might be not knowing her. She could be his stalker. Young people, these days could do whatever they want.

She nodded, “Yes.”

“Do you have an appointment? Can I have your name, Miss?” Madeleine flipped her book, eyes looking up and down her screen. Looking out if Harry had an appointment today.

“Tell him Clementia wants to see him.”

“Please wait. I’ll confirm with him.”

Meanwhile, Harry had Y/N over his office. Both of them were not really working. She made dumplings back at home before she went to the office and she thought it would be nice if she brought Harry her home-made food for lunch.

“You should bring me more homemade meals, you know? I could save my lunch break and do anything while chewing my lunch.” Harry said while clamping the dumpling with chopsticks.

“I think I could do that, something more simple than dumplings.”

“Mhm, this is very delicious.” He chewed, his tongue felt every taste that exploded on his mouth.

“Thank you, Harry.”  Y/N nodded, happy that Harry liked her food. She only stared at him while he was eating, he looked really enjoy it.

Incoming call: 628 – Madeleine Brown

“Harry, Madeleine's calling you.” Y/N looked at his ringing office phone, Harry just nodded –gesturing her to pick up the phone, “Just pick up, please.”

“May I? Wouldn't she be wondering?”

“No need to worry, just pick up already.” Slowly, Y/N pick up the phone, saying hello before Madeleine told her someone outside his office wanted to see Harry. The person was waiting while they both talk.

“Harry, someone's want to see you. Madeleine said her name is.. Clementia?” She asked slowly, her eyes looking at him curiously. Hearing Clementia's name made him choke on his food, made Y/N bring his drink to his mouth, hands rubbing his back. She started to suspicious after seeing Harry's reaction. He looked so surprised. “I'm sorry, I'm sorry. It's fine, send her in.”

Y/N told Madeleine to let this Clementia girl in. In thirty seconds, his door burst open. A young girl was no more than twenty years old standing confidently, her eyes squinting at the two of them. Y/N must admit this girl looked so stunning, and rich. Who was this girl? - her inner goddess folded her arms. Her insecurities began to lock her up. Was this his girlfriend?

“I don't know you have a companion, Harry.” She asked, eyes looking at Y/N cautiously. Harry rolled his eyes, “I don't know you're coming either, C.”

“I was going to take you out if you weren't busy, seems I was wrong.” She answered, pulling the vacant seat in front of them. “You don't want to introduce me to her?”

From the way Clementia asked, Y/N could sense a tease there. But she wasn't sure. She just sat next to Harry, didn't know what to do. Harry gathered up his lunch box, whispering thanks while rubbing Y/N's waist. Clementia chuckled, seeing that small – soft gesture her brother gives to this female next to him.

“C, this is Y/N. Y/N, this is Clementia – the little sister.” Y/N offered her smile yet relieved smile, Clementia just waved her hand.

“I don't know you have a sister, Harry.”

Clementia widened her eyes, putting her hand on her chest – in disbelief. “You never told her about me? What a shame, Harry.”

“No, never. I just found out now.” Y/N beamed, looking at Harry and Clementia. Her eyes scanned her figure. While Harry has green eyes, she has bright hazel eyes. If she didn't know they are siblings, she would think they were not related.

“From all your dates – intimate time together, or even light conversation, he never talked about me? So sad.” She sighed, leaning back in her seat.

“Your sister looks sad, H.” Y/N mumbled, giving her an apologetic smile.

“I guess.. when you were on a date, I think it would be better to enjoy time together than talked about other people, wouldn't it?”

His sister just smirked right away, just intending to lure him to talk who was the woman in front of her. Clementia always admits her brother's type in women, but this woman seemed different. If usually she saw Harry with famous women. Y/N looked nothing to them. Not in a bad way, of course. She looked professional in her business attire, while she stared at her eyes, she could feel this woman so wonderfully smart – her gaze was soft but firm. When she opened his office door, she expected a girl sat on his lap like usual since his receptionist took a long time in the call. She guessed her brother was busy with someone.

She got her answer. And she liked Y/N already.

“Okay, I'll leave you two.” Y/N took his lunch box before she turned her heels, she threw a warm smile to Harry's sister. “Nice to meet you, Clementia.”

“You too, sist.”

“Oh, Y/N. I forget to return your clothes. Remind me tomorrow morning, yeah?” Harry said before Y/N opening his door.

“Why you don't just come to Harry's home tonight, Y/N? Mum would love to meet you.” Clementia spoke out of nowhere, “We will have dinner and you H, can return her clothes.”

Y/N stopped in her track while Harry was thinking. He would love the idea of Y/N meet his mother. Well, they've dated a few times, sharing kisses here and there. But...

“Sounds lovely. What do you think, Y/N?” He asked Y/N who was staring at the siblings dumbfounded. Meeting his mother? A woman who gave birth to this beautiful creature?

“I don't take a no. I'll let mum knows. Maybe I can take her shopping for dinner. Any food request? Do you have any special allergies, Y/N?” Clementia asked while typing in her phone, Y/N assumed that she's texting with their mother. “Thank you for the invitation, I would love to. But, I don't have any allergies.”

“Perfect then!” Clementia smiled, winking at her. Y/N nodded her head before heading out.

“So, tell me brother. How long have you been dating her? And why you didn't tell me first, at least?” Clementia asked him right away after Y/N closed his door.

“Why do you want to know?”

Clementia rolled her eyes, “It's not like I will threaten her or what. I just being overprotective to you, H. I know you're an adult. But, you were a kid when it's come from a relationships matter.”

“A kid?” Harry frowned, didn't expect himself being taught with a little girl in front of him. But, he was touched when Clementia admitted that she was protective to him.

“Looking back at your relationship history, you were the most heartbroken and disappointed one. I know you don't want to admit it. Just don't make the same mistake.” She said softly, “Okay, back to the question. Tell me about her! I have my own first impression of her but I want to hear from your perspective.”

“She's my assistant, honestly. Her office is next to me if you want to pay a visit.” Harry began, “I knew her for a few months because she's new here. If you really realise, she's the first normal woman I date. She's really nice, and kind. A smart young woman, and very independent of her own. She's beautiful, inside and out.”

Clementia nodded, watching her brother who was smiling himself. Sometimes chuckled on his own.

“What makes her attractive in your eyes. I know she's beautiful and smart, and.. polite.” She asked, “Honestly I was surprised to see her just sat casually beside you. Not trying to be seductive or sexy sitting on your.. thighs.”

“She respects me, and our jobs. She treats me as an ordinary person. She's hard to please, not easy to get.” He smiled, “I remembered one day I took her to have an ice cream date. Well, not really a date because I just told her so after that. The second time I wanted to ask her out, she told me to earn her before she said yes.”

“I was a little surprised because before she was really looking forward to our second date.” He added, shaking his head.

“And what you should earn?” Clementia asked in curiosity. Interested in his story.

“That part was a secret.” Harry grinned, make Clementia let out loud sigh. She didn't like her brother being too mysterious like that, yet she respects their privacy.

“I mean when you really like someone, yet you're confused about how to describe your feelings. Because, there are many things that make it hard for you to explain. Only you and your heart know those feeling.”

His sister nodded, didn't utter any words. But then she laughed when she saw Harry was smiling like an idiot. “I know you're happy, brother. But please don't smile like that.”

“I'm also confused why I can be this happy.” He shook his head, straighten up a bit.

“I guess because you haven't felt this way for a long time.” She hummed, “But I'm glad you're happy now. Just keep that happiness, H.”

Clementia went back to his penthouse after spending two hours in Harry's office. Harry was waiting in Y/N's office as she was getting ready to go. Madeleine has returned home so he didn't worry if anyone was suspicious of them, there was only the two of them here.

“I like your sister, she's such a goofball. But, I never saw her when I came to your home.” She said while stepping out of the lift, Harry's hand around her waist while her hand on his back. They know it was a bit risky if anyone saw them, but since they take the private exit, that was not that matter.

Yes, she was in his penthouse a few times, but she never saw Clementia. Was she busy admiring the luxury of his home? Every time she set foot in there, there was something always catches her attention. She even didn't remember if Harry had some pictures of his family.

“She's currently living in Milan for her study. That girl loves fashion design, so I kinda sent her there. Mum lives in Manchester, so I live alone here in London. It's always me or Suzanne.”

The parking lot was empty. His shiny black Porsche parked in his usual place, the one Y/N never seen in his private lot.

“Get in, darling.” Harry opened the passenger door, letting her climb in first. She grinned while thanking him, and let the door close. She pulled the safety belt over her when Harry climbed into the driver seat, ready to take her home.

The long drive to his home, Harry took Y/N her hands in his while another one stayed on the wheel. Sometimes he squeezed them to searching a comfort, or when he pissed with the traffic. Meanwhile, Y/N was having a thought about their relationship. It had been a few weeks, they constantly got out together if they had time –not always on the weekend. They talked, they laughed, they were holding hands, they hug, they kissed, but Harry hadn't dropped the question she was waiting for.

The car stopped when they reach the underground parking. He parked his car next to his other cars.

“Y/N, wait.” Harry put his hand over her clothed thigh, safety belt still wrapped their torso.

“Yes, Harry?” Her concerned eyes made his stomach churn. Actually, during the ride home, he thought to make their relationship official. Harry really, really liked her – all of her. The dates they'd had made him sure to take the next level. He just hoped that she also felt what he was feeling towards her right now.

Every time he looked at her, he could imagine someday he woke up next to her. Having breakfast together, or making dinner together.  Everything above could happen if.. if she would say yes.

“I know we've been going on dates in the past few weeks.” He stopped for a while, made her mind flying everywhere. Did he not want to continue this after tonight? Did he realise that she wasn't what he wanted all the time?

If she wanted to be honest, one day Y/N tried to search his name on Google and it didn’t surprise her there were many articles about Harry. What made her insecure was he dated or even hook up with a few popular models and A-list celebrities.

“This may sound a bit cliché, but it's hard to find the right words.” He chuckled, “I know we only knew each other not too long. Yet, every time I spend with you, every single second we have together – you make me more human, and alive than before. I'm better human when I'm with you. I really love that feeling.” Harry scratched his neck, look nervous than before. His voice deeper in each word. His hand squeezing her thighs, he looked her right in the eyes. “I really, really like you. And I love the idea you're being my girlfriend. I'm excited about what futures may hold. I don't ask you just because we want to meet my mum, no. I think this is the right time for me to be honest with you. It's been weeks and I can't hold any longer.” He let out  a relieved sigh, “And I'm mean it.”

After the sentences were spoken, Y/N didn't wait any more to grab his face and kissed him softly. Harry's hand wilding to her jaw, kissed her back tenderly.

“I love the idea of being your girlfriend too, Harry.” She whispered in his ear, making his skin itching in happiness. He smiled, “Good, now you're stuck with me.” and kissed her again. Their kissed getting more intense, Harry's hand eager to unlock her safety belt, feeling that thing held them back.

“Harry, Harry. Your mum and sister waiting for us.” She laughed while pushing Harry's torso softly. He just hummed an okay. She turned the dome light on, looking at her messy appearance in the rear-view mirror. She dug into her bag, finding her lipstick. Harry's hand stopped her when she wanted to apply to her lips.

“Let me.” He picked it and carefully applying the colour on his girlfriend's lips. Whoa, he liked the sound of it. His girlfriend...

Y/N waited patiently, while her eyes stole a glance at Harry. Her man looked so handsome when he was focused on something, but her attention was diverted to his nails that painted with pink glitter.

“That's pretty.” Harry muttered, placing the lipstick back to her palms. Y/N took a look at the mirror, shocking Harry did the job well. No wonder his nails always covered in colours neatly, “Thank you.”

“Mhm, c'mon darling.”

Harry climbed out first before opening the door for her. A small gesture that always made her smile. His hand led her in. The doorman bid them welcome with a warm smile.

“Your hands are shaking.” Harry said while the lift took them up, his right hand wrapped on Y/N's left, tucked them in his pocket. “Don't be nervous, it's just casual dinner.”

“And we're meeting your mum.” She muttered, waiting anxiously to lift stopped. Harry just smirked while squeezing her hand, “She doesn't bite, darling. Just breath.. nice and easy.”

Meanwhile, Clementia and Anne were preparing dinner. Yes, Clementia wasn't really good at cooking, but she could help Anne a little bit. And she was so excited. She didn't stop blabbering while helping her mother.

“You know, mum? I never expect Harry would go for his assistant.”

Anne frowned, wiping her wet hands. “And why about it?”

“No offence. But I kinda happy that he's no longer dating those boring models, you know? Yes, I love to talk about fashion and things but.. it would be more fun if you have a conversation with an educated woman.” She shrugged, picking a grape from its stems and bite it.

“And now you're saying your brother's ex-girlfriends aren't educated?” Anne stared at his daughter with squinting eyes, “Clementia you can't –”

“Mum!” She cried, “It's not what I mean. I secretly searched for her profile on the internet. Not much I got, sure since she's not famous, but what's surprising is.. she was representative of King College for United Nation Youth Forum! Imagine how smart she is.”

“At least you now have motivation for your studies.” Anne laughed, “But, that's creepy you were stalking her profile.”

“I know.” She sighed, “But it's not for bad things, I promise.”

Anne bit her lip, “But does he look happy?”

“I've never seen Harry so happy before. Have you ever seen Harry was smiling alone like a fool?”

“No.”

“Exactly!” Clementia snapped her fingers, looking at Anne. “We will see.”

Y/N never imagined she would be panicking like this, she tried to calm herself down, but she couldn't. Sure meeting your boyfriend's parent was something nerve-wrecker, let alone the relationship just started. What she would think of you? Did you worthily enough for him? Did you fit enough in his life? Y/N thought she would pass out right away if she thought too much about it. She didn't realise they were standing in front of his door already.

“Here they are!” Clementia squealed while she opened the door for them and quickly gave Y/N a hug.

“You must be cooked something special. Its smell delicious from here.” Y/N said warmly.

“Mum made Curry, Shepherd’s Pie, and something still in the cooking.” Clementia answered while winking at Harry. She closed the door as Harry led his girlfriend to the kitchen, finding her mum stirring the pot.

“Hey, mum.” Harry kissed Anne's cheek, “Where's Suzanne?”

“Hi, sweetheart. I let her go home early because I was the one who cooking tonight.” She pinched Harry's cheek playfully, making him groan in annoyed. Y/N just smile watching both of them, reminded her of her mother.

“Hi, dear! I'm Anne, Harry's mother. You must be, Y/N?” She never expected Harry's mother would hug her like they had known each other for a long time. She happily embraces Anne into her arm, “Nice to meet you, Mrs. Styles.”

“Oh, shush! Call me Anne.” She smiled gently, “Take a seat. Dinner is ready.”

As usual, Harry took his seat on the edge. Y/N sat next to Clementia since she assumed Anne would take the seat next to her son. But, being the cheeky she was, Clementia shooed her away and said that Anne bored enough sitting next to her brother.

“Clementia said she met you at Harry's office, Y/N.” Anne started the conversation when she saw everyone enjoy her cooking.

“Mhm, I work for Harry – just moved from Swansea office.”

“She's my assistant, mum. The smartest one I've ever had if I may say.” Harry added, bobbing his head.  Anne just nodded, “That's surprising.”

That one made Y/N's stomach twist. Was that negative? Or the opposite? She knew that an employee dating their boss was.. weird, and breaking the company rules. Seemed not unprofessional at all. But, when they were at work, they work like usual.. a boss and employee, nothing romance included. They were careful enough when they were together. Her inner goddess told Y/N she should have asked Harry about that thing.

“Not in a bad way, of course.” Anne said when she saw Y/N's face turned slightly uncomfortable. “Tell me, how's work with Harry? He's didn't put you on stress, no?

“Harry is nice. Help me a lot, and a perfectly hard worker. Sometimes we had to stay late in the office, but he made sure that I didn't overwork. We have a lot of work to be done in 24 hours, we help each other to finish on time.”

“She always patient with me. I think her days in college taught her extra patience.” Harry smiled, his hand sneaking down the table, rubbing her thigh in assurance. He could feel her hand on top him. Within a few inches, Anne saw them smiling at each other. Their own eyes speak reassurance. She clearly saw from her son eye's, he was clearly adoring the girl next to her. Something that she hadn't seen for a while.

“Whoa, you were a college girl? Tell me, how did you survive? I just start my semester, but I feel like I just wanna run away.” Clementia asked in awe, maybe Y/N could encourage her sometimes lazy mind to fight with her course. Y/N laughed, definitely understand with her frustration, there were times when she cried all day because she feels overwhelmed over her assignments. “That time I just thought.. don't waste my full scholarship, I was struggling enough to get into Kings' College. My parents are waiting for me to come back home with that degree.”

“King's College? so... she's smart.. smart.” Clementia beamed. Anne playfully jabs her side, “Take a note from her, don't disappoint your brother.”

“I heard you're studying in Milan? How's it there? I really want to visit Italy one day.” She asked softly, staring at Clementia who was grinning widely, “Italy is.. something else. Italy is more romantic than France, no offence! Florence and Positano are my top picks, and Sicily too.”

“Maybe we could visit you someday, C. And having a family holiday.” Harry said as he faced down his cutlery, wiping his mouth with a napkin. Anne nodded in agreement, they haven't spent time together outside for a long time, “You should take a schedule off, dear. Before you visit Clementia, try to visit your mother, bring Y/N too. Manchester is not so far from London.”

“Oh, mum..” Harry chuckled, his eyes stared lovingly to his mother. “Don't make me feel bad.”

“Hey, Y/N. Could you do me a favour to persuade him to visit me often? I believe he would hear you over me.”  She winked, ignoring Harry's pleading eyes.

“I'll try my best.” Y/N smiled, giving Harry side-eye.

Dinner was fun. They most likely talked about each other life. Y/N just learnt that Anne had Harry when she was twenty-two, and Clementia is eighteen now. Their father, Igor Styles, sadly passed away two day after Harry's master graduation ceremony due to heart attack – leaving them with growing companies to take care of. Since then, Harry took over his father's companies and work his ass off.

Harry was smiling so hard when his favourites women, his mum, his girlfriend, his sister, could get along quickly. Clementia made him surprised because the girl was so welcome to Y/N. She was usually quite hard to warm to his girlfriends before.

The way her son hold his lady, Anne knew that he was so smitten. She understood that Harry wanted to spend time alone with Y/N because from what she had heard, they often had to rearrange their date because of sudden upcoming work.

She wouldn't be mad because right now Harry prefers to cuddle with other women than her, because Anne would always have Harry by her side no matter what. She just hoped his son would find his final lover soon.

This new Harry was not the same as the old Harry. Anne was used to be met two different women in his arms in a span of three months. And that made her worry.

Harry was an adult, he made his choice and Anne couldn’t do much. She just gave him her advice here and there, especially for settling down.

In Y/N, she believed – but not too much.

From the way she talked, the way she laughed over unfunny jokes that Harry made, the way she’s spoken out about her perspective – her vision. Anne could trusted her.

Earlier simple gestured that the girl showed, she collected all dirty plates and cutlery not worrying about dirty and wet food waste – some women Harry used to date found it gross and refused to cleanse– well all of them were spoiled brat rich people – Anne called. At least she knew Y/N was familiar with housework. Not to forget she was smart enough from the way she responded about the current happening global issues.

She wanted her son to find a modest woman and not using him for their personal advantage. She preferred Harry with someone who was regular than the famous one yet she couldn’t do anything but waste his money.

Anne clearly heard their loud laughter even they were in the balcony. Not knowing what they laughed about. She just prayed she could always hear that from both of them.

“Harry looks happy.” Clementia leaned on the countertop, watching his brother tickling Y/N. “I don’t know this could turn into their date.”

“Let them be, C. I barely see your brother laughing out load.” Anne snickered, “Have you taken her clothes? Harry was asking you, wasn’t he?”

“Haven’t yet, I don’t know where he put it in his room. I wanted to ask, but I don’t want to bother them.”

“Let me dig his wardrobe then.”

Anne opens his son's bedroom – looking at all grey-brown theme. His bedroom smells like Tonka bean and Cedarwood. She could identify Y/N's folded clothes on his bed, who else if it's not hers. Anne grinned when she found a photograph of her family in his wall. She spotted a few medicine bottles on the nightstand. Her curiosity mind pushed her to take it, reading every label carefully. Harry didn't tell her he was on medication.

Prozac.

She was not familiar with the names. Might be common vitamins. So, she didn't take it seriously.

“Here's your clothes, Y/N. Don't be surprised if it smells like Harry.” Anne handed Y/N's clothes in a paper bag, giving Harry a wink.

“Thank you.” Y/N beamed, “I should go home now. Thank you for your delicious meals, Anne. Maybe one day I will ask you some food recipes if you don't mind of course.”

“I just one phone call away, dear.” She nodded, “Why don't you just stay the night, Y/N? It's already late, and tomorrow it's Saturday.”

“Oh, I don't want to bother you guys. I'm fine.” Y/N politely declined, didn't want to overstay her welcome. After all, she didn't want to bother their family time.

“That's a good idea, honestly. We don't have any urgent tasks to be done over the weekend. You can stay here until Sunday too if you want.” Harry agreed, the idea of his girlfriend stayed the night was quite exciting to him.

“Oh no, really. I'm fine– ”

“This time I don't take a no. I'll show your room, yeah?  Harry squeaked, taking her hand. “Or, do you wanna sleep with me in my bedroom?” He asked cheekily.

Y/N widened her eyes, “Harry! I didn’t even bring any stuff to stay overnight.”

“We insist, darling. Besides, I think we have spare toiletries. You can wear Clementia's clothes. ” Anne chuckled, “If you want to stay with Harry, just don't make loud noises in the middle night.” She winked, leaving them both. “Oh! I'll bring you her sleepwear.”

“Oh my god.” Y/N grimaced, squinting her eyes. She was sure her cheeks getting red now.

“Hey, don't listen to her. She's joking.” Harry took her to his embrace, kissing her shoulder. “I'll take you to your room.”

Her room for the night no less spectacular than the other room she ever saw, the space was even almost equal to her whole apartment. While Anne and Clementia took rooms in the hall facing the Thames, her room, which next to Harry was in the other hall facing skyscraper building.

“I don't know if you want to stay with me or not, but I give you your own space. If you need anything, just knock on my door.” He said softly.

“Okay, thank you for letting me stay, H.” She smiled. Before she got the chance to bid him good night, he brought her face closer, kissing her lips dearly. She giggled, tangling his curls in her fingers.

“Good night, sleep well sweetheart.” Harry poked her nose softly, and disappear behind his door.

. . . .

His chest ache, while his body wet with sweat. The air conditioner apparently didn't succeed in making him cool, he kept moving in his sleep.

“Y/N.” He moaned, eyes squinting in pleasure and.. pain. His panting breath filled his room, “Oh my god, fuck.”

“Y/N –darling, baby.” Harry groaned, face dripping with sweat. In split seconds, his eyes shot open. Looking around his room, his hand patted the vacant side next to him. He sighed when he didn't find Y/N laying there. Rubbing his face, he chuckled in to realise that was just his fantasy. In his dream, they were having sex somewhere in Italy. He pounded hard into her while sun setting behind them.

He laughed, how the hell he had a wet dream about his one day girlfriend?

Looking at the clock, it was past two in the night. He decided to clean his self, taking a glass of water, and go back to bed.

His sleepiness disappeared after he washed his face, but how shocked he was when he saw Marcel in his bathroom mirror. Grinning evilly.

“How fun to dream about your girlfriend, well she managed to make you orgasm like that.”

“What do you want, Marcel? I have my family and her over, don't make a scene.”

“I was wondering.. did she hear you? She's sleeping in the next room, isn't she?” He scoffed, “I could just sneak into her room and have sex with her, you know?”

“Don't, Marcel.” Harry gritted his teeth, hands balled.

“How's she feels? Bet she's sweet, dripping like honey. Just imagine, she screams my name instead of you.”

Harry couldn't contain it anymore, his fist punched the mirror making a loud noise along with broken pieces fell to the floor. Marcel disappeared, with his blood pouring from his fist. Little did he know, Anne jolted from her sleep when the sound of broken glass ringing through her ear.

Harry rushed out of his room, then opened Y/N's door – relieved to find that she was still deep asleep, surely not hearing that sounds. Yet, Anne standing in the hall made him frowned. His bloody fist tucked behind his back.

“Mum? Why are you up?” He asked warily.

“I heard something shattered. What happened, Harry?” She asked him back curiously. Her son shook his head, but the way blood dripping to the floor made her sprint towards him. She gasped when looking at Harry's knuckles. “What are you doing? What happened? Why is your hand bleeding like this?”

“I accidentally broke a glass because.. I was half asleep when I went to the bathroom, and.. my reflection made me shock.” Harry scratched his neck with his clean hand, no matter how badly he wanted to lie, Harry could never lie to his mother.

“You clumsy little thing, making me worry.” Anne sighed, “Let me clean your hand.”

“I'm sorry to wake you up.” He mumbled, slightly grimace as Anne patting his knuckles with antiseptic.

“No need to be sorry, darling. It's okay.”

Harry whispered small thank you after his mother bandaged his wounds. Anne smiled sadly, sometimes forgot that her son had grown up, blaming that time flies so fast. Even his physique changes –blossoming into a beautiful man– he was still her baby.

“Harry?”

“Mhm?”

Before she asked him something that bothered her, was it appropriate to ask him? That was his privacy, but she was his mother after all. “I see some medicinal bottles in your room, the names aren't common for vitamins. Are you currently on a particular medication?”

He was speechless, didn't know how to react. He hadn't thought that he was so careless to put the medicines. What should he do? . . Please excuse some errors.

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[reginacooks]

Day 365. The End.

I’ve decided to make cheesecake as a send-off to this blog. I cannot think of any good reason why cheesecake should not be the cake-of-celebration for having reached my goal of creating something delicious every day for one year. Cheesecake was my sister’s favorite, and she died a year ago in March, bypassing a global pandemic by one week. Every memory I have of the countless celebrations in her home include a cheesecake. Cheesecake was my father’s favorite. He grew up on New York-style cheesecake, and he made sure my mother had a Lindy’s Cheesecake recipe when they married in 1963. My mother made good on her promise to feed him with love, and cheesecake. My mother’s birthday was in March. She taught me how to make a cheesecake using her large, ceramic mixing bowl in our kitchen in Ohio. I cannot think of cheesecake without thinking of my mother. The pandemic started in March and brought us to another March. All roads lead us to cheesecake. 

One week into the pandemic and toilet-paper humor, I decided I would use the next 365 days to cook and bake, and write about it. Aside from a few months when yeast was sparse, we lacked for nothing, including toilet paper. Unbelievably, and faster than I thought one year could pass, I have reached the end of my goal. I needed a thing to grab on to at the start of this pandemic, something separate from teaching. True, I was tired at the end of some days and faced this goal reluctantly. Or worse, there was a day when I’d already gone to bed. I closed my eyes then moments later remembered my blog. But I dragged myself to the couch and sitting position anyway. Not long ago, after watching a family movie, it was close to midnight and I said to my kids, “My blog!” Ethan sat nearby. “Quick mom! It’s ten minutes to midnight. You can do it!” I shared some pictures and words of the food I’d made that day and at 11:57, clicked on “Post.” Mostly I felt like I was writing into a black void, then unexpectedly a friend would email or text indicating they were reading these posts. I was glad someone was reading, but I guess that wasn’t the point. All along I knew I was doing this for me, to brighten my days and bring on a spot of joy.  

The cooking, baking, recipe searches, taking pictures, and writing helped to define my life this year. I’ve thought a lot about why the act of cooking and baking is important to me, too. Once, many years ago, a couple of friends were on a road trip and they stopped at our home for dinner. That night I happened to be making pasta with cauliflower and tomato sauce, garlic and cheddar cheese, a pretty standard week-night meal in our house. They dug into that food like it was their last drop of sustenance on the long journey ahead, even though they were only traveling by minivan from one state to the next. They exclaimed and wanted the recipe and so thoroughly enjoyed that simple fare, it seemed as if it had been many moons since they’d eaten a homemade meal. Making dinner that night, I would never have anticipated their reaction to it.    

I think about the times I’ve been fed by others. A long time ago, for one year, I worked in a school in Highwood, Illinois, an old town with a large Italian population. The secretary of my school was a short, slight-framed, older Italian woman with whom I had a special connection. She had worked at the school for maybe her entire career. I complained to Vera once about the reading curriculum in first grade that didn’t use real children’s literature. Same old story. I hinted that I was going to talk to the principal about it. This was my first teaching job and she warned me against that. I’ll never forget her words. “You don’t talk about books to someone who doesn’t read.” She came into my room once as I was reading a story aloud to my students, and she paused to listen. Later she told me I was “the real deal.” Ah, to be seen by another person. Even if only briefly. 

Vera and her husband were making pasta dumplings, she told me one day, and she’d like to have me over for lunch. When I went across the street and knocked on their side door, I entered their kitchen where they were filling dumplings with cheese and meat, trays of fresh pasta, dough, and flour spread out on the small kitchen table. The scene was intimate and homey, as traditional as any holy ritual, and I was invited to pull up a chair. It was the first time I’d eaten homemade pasta and I remember it still.   

I have put a permanent place card next to my heart of the people who have fed me in my life. Homemade food is worth marveling at. And for me it brings back memories of the people I’ve enjoyed it with, and of other ways they’ve fed me. Vera fed me fresh pasta and there have been times over the years when my confidence suffered and I would go back to that one-liner she also fed me. “You are the real deal.”  For years I hung my hat on those words. I am the real deal. And I thought they must be so because a wise woman who read books, whose name meant truth, and who had feather-light Italian dumplings at her fingertips spoke them. 

We just never know how feeding others can have an impact, how words or deeds can take hold in our psyche, like a fortune cookie message we keep in our wallet forever. A long time ago a friend was visiting me in a house I lived in near the ocean. I packed us a picnic lunch and off we went. Years later she referenced those tuna fish sandwiches as being the best ones she’d ever had. Say what? She was a new mom and had her baby with her at the time. She was probably desperate for someone to care for her for a few moments and maybe that came in the form of my preparing a simple lunch, which she never forgot. I doubt it was just because of the sandwiches. 

I enjoy sifting through the recipe box of my food memories. Sometimes when I’m searching for a soothing thought to put me in a state of calm, I’ll think about something wonderful that I’ve eaten with a person whom I love. Often, we’re outdoors. A memory comes of pausing for a break on a hike in Ireland with new found friends, eating a sandwich and an apple, leaning against a fence and looking out at a wet, green field speckled with sheep. Or enjoying pizza and a cold beer on a sunny hilltop in Belgrade at a cafe on the edge of the forest. A giant swing on the property served to entertain our children while my husband and I grabbed a few moments of peace. Once, my family and I were staying the night at a simple hut during a trek in Ethiopia. We sat on the roof of the hut and watched as baboons scrambled toward their caves on the slope of a cliff, and we held hot tea and bread given to us as a sign of welcome by our hosts. Clasping that tea, we knew we would be taken care of during the night in that foreign spot. 

A chocolate eclair always reminds me of my father. I can hear him saying, “Oh boy,” smiling and looking down at the pastry display inside the food hall at Harrods of London, wide-eyed like a kid again in New York City. He bought us both a picnic that day and we enjoyed it in St. James Park. A few years later he was left five thousand dollars in the will of an uncle and used that to send me to cooking school in New York. He wanted me to have a skill and set me up for life. I learned many skills at cooking school, but none as valuable as the ones I learned in my parents’ kitchen. Love and food are intermingled. There was hardly a joyful, happy occasion in our home growing up without it involving something delicious. The memories I have of the food enhance the memories of my father’s laugh, my mother’s smile, my older siblings arriving for the holidays and the love that we all shared.     

My mother delighted in simple, good things. When I was a teen I remember her sneaking up to her bedroom for a little solitude, a glass of brandy and a little dish of peanuts in hand, a book tucked under her arm. She’d say she was going upstairs to have her party before bed. On weekend mornings she’d make pancakes. She had a knack for turning the ordinary into something special. She would make a pancake shaped out of the first letter of our name, large and covering the whole plate and recognizable as my very own. Neighborhood kids would wait by the backdoor for their pancake, too. An L for Lenny, a J for Jimmy. I’ve stored away hundreds of food memories of my mother, and I pull them up often. Her cheesecake, her smile, her sly grin when she sneaks another piece. 

Before my sister, Raissa, died a year ago, I flew out to stay with her in her home. It was the last weekend that I ever stayed in her house, the house that was a foundation for me—for all of our family—for so many years. This was the last weekend that I would ever see her home as it was, her home crowded with the beloved artifacts of her life. And beloved to us, too. We all knew every nook and cranny of that home so well. The family photos, the hundreds of books that lined the shelves, the afghans and dishes and vases and fireplace mantel and coffee mugs. I cried openly and loudly the night before I left, knowing that this would be the last time I would be in this space that was my second home. “My home is your home,” my sister always said to me. But the house would be sold and I would never have this as my second home again, and the next time I visited this town, my sister would be gone. I looked around feeling the shock, like a rug was being pulled out from under me, but it wasn’t just a rug. It was every precious thing in sight.  

One morning during my last weekend with her she was sitting up in her chair reading her newspaper, as she did every day, and I asked her if she wanted some breakfast. She had hardly been eating, so I didn’t expect her to say yes, but she put the paper down in her lap and looked up at me and smiled and said yes. Feeling hungry made her look so healthy. So I went into her kitchen and made her toast and scrambled eggs, simple comfort food. Our father was the Scrambled Eggs King. He cooked them slow and steady, all throughout our growing up. It was his specialty, we all knew. So I made them the way Daddy made them, no recipe needed for the dashes of good humor and love. She ate them with such pleasure, like she had not eaten in a long time, smiling up at me in thanks. I was feeding her, like she had fed me for years and years. We fed each other. I know I added joy to her life—she told me how much she loved me every time we were together—and she was my personal cheerleader, cheering for me every single step of every single way. I will live the rest of my days with the gifts she gave, and the memory that I made her comfort food before her own long journey home.  

#goals #cheesecake #baking from scratch #bakingathome #bakingforfamily #bakingforjoy #bakingforlove