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#macgyver requests
ash5monster01 · 2 months
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It Should Be Wrong
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Pairing: Angus MacGyver x FemReader
Warnings: 18+, descriptive smut, dirty talk, strong language, p in v, oral (f receiving), confrontation, awkwardness, use of y/n
(I actually blacked out with this one so please know it is heavily rated R)
Summary: You never really saw Mac in a romantic or attractive way until one night the both of you get a little too drunk and find yourselves in bed. The worst part, it was the best you ever had.
word count: 2.9k
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You didn’t get it. Not at first. He was always just a friend and when girls looked his way you’d find yourself confused. Yeah he had a charming personality, honey dew skin, perfect blonde hair, and glowing blue eyes, but he was Mac. The same Mac you’d known for the entirety of your whole life. The boy that would blow spit balls in your hair and scare any guys you talked too off. So why was it you were in the position you are now with none other than Angus MacGyver himself?
“Holy fuck” your hazy voice fills the room around you. Hands tangled in that perfect blonde hair, Mac sat between your legs, and was giving you the best head of your life. You could still see the campfire glow out the windows of his room where the two of you had just been ‘drinking a few beers’.
Now he was eating you for all your worth, humming against your folds, and curling your toes. It was dirty, in every sense of the word. It’s not until his lips wrap around your clit do you find yourself tightening your thighs around his head. You would be concerned about suffocating him but the hum of delight he gives buzzes from your clit all the way up to your brain.
“I’m gonna cum Mac” you pant, almost embarrassed by how fucked out your voice is, especially towards him. You should be embarrassed it’s even him doing this to you. Yet hearing your words he only continues to eat you like a man starved and pushing you over the edge which has you trembling in seconds.
“Fucking delicious” he rasps and before you’ve even come down from your high he’s rolling you over with ease and propping your ass in the air. When did he get so strong? Before you even register what’s happening he’s slid into you at full force, pelvic bone pushing against your ass. “Damn baby, should’ve known you were tight”
“Shit, move, please” you beg and you don’t have to look to see the sly grin on the boys face as he pulls back and starts to pound into you. It’s filthy, dirty, and delicious. You should be concerned about no condom, but it’s Mac and you’re on the pill after all. The one guy you’ve known your whole life and trust entirely. You just never assumed you’d trust him in this situation.
“So fucking pretty” Mac murmurs, still pounding into you, your face smushing into the mattress. He lands a swift smack to your ass which has you muffling a yelp into the blankets in front of you. You know mascara is running down your face but your arousal was also running down your legs.
He was hitting all the right place and felt so good. Nothing separating either of you as you finally both did the one thing as best friends you claimed you’d never do. Suddenly his hand is wrapped in your hair and lifting you up to meet his thrusts. You go to whine but are stopped when his free hand reaches around and takes your breast into his hand.
“You like that baby? Me fucking you and holding these pretty tits?” he growls into your ear and in all the times you had pictured Mac in the bedroom you had never pictured him this intense and dirty.
“Yes Mac, wish you were sucking on them” and per your request he’s slipping out of you suddenly. You whine due to the loss of friction but he spins you back around and eases you onto the bed. His dick is red and angry, grazing across his abdomen and wet with your slick. You clench around nothing when he grabs himself at the base and realigns with your entrance. When did Mac get so fucking sexy?
“Such a dirty girl” he mutters with the shake of his head before he’s back inside of you. The moan you let out is pornagraphic and his own muffling haround your breast in seconds. The new angle from him bending down is delightful mixed with the sensation of his mouth taking time with each of your nipples. Now that you think about it, he hasn’t kissed you once since this all started.
“Kiss me Angus” you demand and Mac releases your nipple with a pop before giving you a slight smile. A glimpse of the gentle and kind man you usually know.
This isn’t how first kisses should go. Especially with one of your best friends in the entire world. This should’ve happened when you were fourteen and hiding out in the old treehouse. Not now when he was actually inside of you and you are both too drunk to consider the repercussions of this. Despite all of that Mac leans forward delicately and places his lips against your own. Your hands find your way in his hair again as you kiss him back, lips fitting together like puzzle pieces. Of all the things you expected it to be like it wasn’t this. It wasn’t only good but it was perfect, the best kiss you’ve ever had. Actually so far the best sex you’d ever had and even thought you thought it was wrong, all of it felt right.
“I’ve always wanted to do this” he admits before kissing you deeply again, now rocking his hips slowly with your own. It’s when his tongue slips around your own, you lock your legs around his waist and bring him deeper into you then he has been all night.
Who would’ve thought making out with your best friend could be this fun? When Mac’s hands reach to grope your tits he’s muffling your moan in his own mouth, bringing you both back to the very dirty reality that he was currently inside you raw. Pulling away from your mouth with a heavy pant he moves back into a position where he can thrust faster into you. It’s when he uses your breasts to steady himself and pounds faster into you, do you feel that coil begin to tighten.
“Shit Mac, I’m gonna cum” you gasp, hands steadying yourself on his shoulders as his body pounds yours into the mattress. He uses this response to pick up pace and before you can even register it your orgasm comes lightening fast, squeezing around his cock tightly.
“Fuck baby, got a death grip on me” he says with a stutter to his hips before spilling his load inside of you. Your mind feels fuzzy at the blissful feeling of his cum warming inside of you. You’re turned on all over again when he slowly slides out and watches as you drip his cum out of you.
“Mac” you whine, unsure what you’re asking for but he knows what you want when he takes his still hard cock and uses it to shove that very cum back inside you.
“Gonna have to take all of it baby” he tells you, knowing how overstimulated and sensitive you are. You gasp when his thumb presses lightly against your swollen clit and his dick twitches inside of you from his own orgasm.
When he pulls back out you can’t help but wince at the feeling and his naked form is slowly laying beside you and wrapping his arms around you. You grin when he presses a soft kiss into your neck, because that was the best sex you ever had and it was with Mac. The same guy you should’ve never counted out. Now you were jealous of all those girls he had crushes on growing up because you were too stupid to know exactly what you were missing out on.
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The sound of your phone ringing in the morning is piercing when it reaches your head. You can’t help but groan as you fumble in a search for it. You can hardly open your eyes because of how bright the room is, you must’ve forgotten to close the blinds. Finally finding the phone you click answer and hold it up to your ear.
“Hello” you mutter, tired and in no mood to be awake right now.
“Y/N, where’s Mac?” Riley’s familiar voice fills your ears and suddenly your eyes are snapping open because why did you have Mac’s phone? That’s when it hits you. Bozer was with his girlfriend last night, you came to hang out with Mac, and he fucked you. He fucked you hard and good.
“Shit” you say out loud, glancing to your side to find you are in fact in Mac’s bed and he is completely naked beside you.
“Y/N, what’s going on? You weren’t answering your phone and now you’re answering his?” Riley questions and you sigh.
“Nothing, I just fell asleep here and my phone died. Mac is sleeping, what’s up?” you recollect yourself, not wanting to give way to what you and Mac exactly got up to last night.
“Matty needs you both, some new mission, and you’re both already late” she informs you and now you’re in full panic mode.
“Shit!” you say again before hanging up. You’re scrambling out of the bed in seconds, hunting for all your clothes now streamed across the floor of Mac’s room.
“Mac wake up!” you shout, throwing his phone back at him which lands on his stomach with a thud. He’s wincing and looking at you just as you slide your jeans up your legs with no underwear, considering you can’t find it. He blushes almost instantly at the nudity of your upper half which isn’t for long as you clip your bra into place.
“What the hell?” he groans, hands pressing against his head as he takes in his own hangover.
“We’re late for meeting Matty and apparently drank too much last night” you inform him, sliding your shirt over your head. That has him jumping into action as you move to his bathroom to see the disaster of yourself.
It’s bad. Your makeup is smudged under your eyes and hair strewned in places it didn’t belong. Gasping you do your best to wash your face and brush through it with the little things Mac has in here. Giving up and tying your hair on your head you rush back out to a now dressed Mac and ready to go. The worst part is when you realize you had rode with Mac here from the Phoenix last night so now you had to ride back together.
“Should we talk about it?” Mac says after a beat, fingers drumming on his knee as he drives you both in the maroon Jeep.
“Nothing to talk about” you mutter despite there being everything to talk about. It wasn’t just hookup sex or friend with benefits sex. This was dirty, filthy, breed you, you are mine sex. Actually the dirtiest sex you ever had in your life and never expected it to be with Mac of all people.
“Y/N, I can’t just go in there not having talked about this” he pleads, glancing over at you where you have refused to look at him since you got in the car. “You haven’t even looked at me and you’re acting weird. You’re my best friend, I don’t want things to change.
“But they did Mac. That wasn’t the kind of night you pretend didn’t happen. That was intense” you say, finally daring a glance at him where you see the pure desperation in his ocean blue eyes.
“Exactly which is why we should talk about it” he bargains and you sigh with the shake of your head.
“You said last night that you’ve always wanted to kiss me. Was that true or just the sex talking?” you finally cave and you don’t miss the way Mac’s hands grip the steering wheel. You’ve known each other your whole lives after all. You know all his tells.
“It was true. If you think at any point in my life I never had a crush on you, you’re crazy. Most girls didn’t talk to me and Bozer until high school. But you, you were always there” Mac says, eyes trained on the road but you also know he doesn’t want to look you in the eye when he admits this.
“When did you like me like that?” you ask and he lightly chuckles to himself.
“When we were thirteen. You came to my birthday party in a purple sundress and gave me an engineering book that you thought I might like. I kept telling myself I didn’t like you but when I smashed cake in your face and you laughed instead of cried, I fell in love while I picked the pieces of frosting out of your hair” he says and your stomach summersaults at the story he recalls from his own point of view. You remembered that birthday.
“Of course it was” you mutter and Mac furrows his eyebrows as he quickly glances at you.
“Why’s that?” he questions and you roll your eyes.
“Because that was the first time since I was ten I got over my crush on you, told myself it’ll never happen” and then Mac is laughing like you’ve just told him the funniest thing in the world.
“Who replaced me? Bozer?” he questions when his laughter quiets down and you roll your eyes.
“No, Brendan Fraser actually which I still find completely fair” you tell him and he laughs again, remembering how you made him watch Encino man for the entirety of that school year.
“So you’re telling me that we’ve been friends for our entire lives and somehow kept missing each other until now?” he questions and you shrug, thinking of all the times you ever felt romantically towards the boy beside you. There was the time you mentioned, once in high school when he dumped his prom date to take you when you didn’t get asked, and when he dropped out to join the army. You had been so scared of losing him you found all those old feelings coming back. Somehow after all these years your feelings both lined up and the result was last night. No wonder it was so intense.
“Apparently so blondie” you respond with a nickname you have used since childhood and Mac shakes his head as you flip the visor mirror down and fix your hair again.
Pulling into the Phoenix parking lot you pray that no one questions the way either of you look despite Mac looking much better than you at the moment. Your heart has doubled in speed by the time Mac reached his normal spot and goes to shift the car in park. Flipping the visor up, you’re reaching for the door on your quick escape, but Mac’s hand on your arm stops you.
“Wait” and then with the strength you didn’t discover until last night, he’s pulling you towards him and kissing you quickly. Once the immediate shocks goes away you lightly kiss him back, it not as filthy as the one you shared the night before but just as nice.
“What was that for?” you ask once he pulls away, eyes still closed as he lets the weight of your kiss sink in.
“I just wanted to make sure that what I felt last night was real” he says and now your heart is beating heavily for him. You had felt it too, in fact you’d never felt anything like it until last night.
“It was real Mac, all of it” you tell him and his eyes open, blinking into focus as he takes all of your features in.
“Can we not pretend this didn’t happen because there is no way I can go back to normal after this?” he asks and you sigh, eyes glancing over his own features as well and you realize that even if a relationship could jeopardize your friendship it was still him. The same boy you’ve loved a hundred different times and ways in your life, and if it was ever going to work with anybody it would be him.
“Fine, but you should know I don’t sleep with people on first dates” you say and he snorts, hands squeezing at your waist as he still keeps you pulled against the center console.
“Good to know but does it technically count as our first date? If you include Prom and that one party in college I’d say it is about our third” he says and you giggle and shake your head, cheeks warming over as you face the boy beside you.
“Our third date. I could possibly let third base slide but we’ll see” you tell him and he grins.
“I’ll take it” he says and you shake you head before pressing a chaste kiss to his lips and hopping out of the car.
“Last one in is a rotten egg!” you call out, rushing for the Phoenix doors and Mac jumps into action. Grabbing his keys and rushing out the car behind you. Yet he was going to let you win, just like he did when he was thirteen, and you’d race him into school.
At least this time he knows when he finishes the race he still gets to keep you.
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Taglist: @mayfieldss @paigewinchester67 (I saw you liking my MacGyver posts today so here is a small treat)
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theclassymike · 8 months
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Lucas Till in House Season 5 Episode 11.
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diamondpanter · 19 days
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macgyver/ H5O fanfic request
just wondering if anyone could or knew of a macgyver/ Hawaii 5-o fanfic about how jack and Steve know each other.
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you know what, fuck it. requests OPEN. for more info check my writing masterlist!!
I’m back baby!!!
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ilkkawhat · 2 years
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CSI 10.09 Appendicitement | Macgyver 2.22 UFO + Area 51
for @underdefined67 💜💙
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gatefleet · 2 years
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Murdoc Fluff
MacGyver (reboot): Murdoc WordCount: 244 T(W): None Request: Yes, "I would like to request a macgyver reboot murdoc x reader fluff where she works for phoenix" - @koshi-sama A/N: I am quite out of practice with my Mac Reboot writing, and especially for Murdoc, so I apoligise if this isn't what you were looking for (but I do hope you still like it).
GIF Credit: @barnscourtney
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Your work at Phoenix didn’t leave much in the way of free/personal time, so when you did manage to get some, you tended to spend it with your partner, he was strange, very quirky, and a look that said he could put you six feet under with minimal effort. He was tall, slim, had black hair and you always joked that he was your ‘Joker’, he had a wide smile and loved to joke (even if they were dark humoured). You loved the way he would try and comfort you, in his strange way, when you had had a particularly bad mission, the way he would fiercely defend you, even if you didn’t know how exactly he done it, he loved your smile, your laugh, the way your eyes lit up, and how completely normal you were. Especially compared with his ex.
Your partner, Murdoc’s, idea of a chill night was, ordering in food and renting whichever film you’re in the mood to watch, and lots of junk food for the inevitable sleepover as the film over-ran or you got caught up in talking and being absorbed in one another to realise the time. Occasionally you guys would go and do day trips into the countryside if he was travelling for work later that night or early the next day. He always knew how to make you smile and would always bring you trinkets back from his travels, especially if he had gone abroad.
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tarotwithavi · 8 months
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Your future spouse: personality
Positive and challenging sides
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How to choose a pile?
Take a deep breath and gently close your eyes. Politely request your spirit guides to reveal the appropriate pile meant for you, then open your eyes. Whichever pile captures your attention is the one meant for you.
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Pile 1
Positive side : hello pile 1! Your future spouse is one smart cookie. They've got an insatiable curiosity that makes them a total brainiac. You'll often find them diving deep into complex ideas and theories, always hungry for knowledge. They've got this knack for seeing patterns and connections that others don't even notice. When you're stuck on a problem, just turn to them for some mind-blowing insights. Creativity runs through their veins. They've got a knack for coming up with innovative, out-of-the-box ideas. No boring solutions here! They're the kind of person who can turn the simplest of conversations into an exciting adventure of thoughts and possibilities. Their independent spirit is pretty inspiring too. They're comfortable doing their own thing, which gives them a unique sense of self-reliance. Fairness and objectivity are their jams. Emotions don't cloud their judgment; they rely on cool, logical thinking to make decisions. And when it comes to tackling tough problems, they're like Sherlock Holmes with a touch of MacGyver – they'll find a solution, no matter how tricky the puzzle. They seem to have more air energy, especially Gemini and Aquarius. They may have their Mercury in the 11th house.
Challenging side : Okay, so your future spouse might be a bit of an introvert. Social interactions aren't always their strong suit, especially when it comes to small talk. They're more like deep-thought conversations rather than chit-chat about the weather. And speaking of deep thoughts, they tend to overthink stuff. Simple decisions can turn into complicated quandaries in their minds. Practicality isn't their strong suit either. They've got a knack for brilliant ideas, but sometimes turning those ideas into reality can be a bit of a challenge. Routine? Yeah, not their thing. They get bored quickly with repetitive tasks and might struggle with focusing on the same thing for too long. Oh, and sometimes they can be like Mr. Spock – super logical, but not always the most sensitive. Emotions might not be their strong suit, and they might come across as a tad insensitive from time to time. And when they've made up their mind, it's like they've superglued their opinion in place. Changing their perspective? Good luck with that.
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Pile 2
Positive side : welcome pile 2! I'm getting that Your future spouse is the kind of person who's always dreaming big and aiming for the stars. They have this incredible ability to come up with the most creative and imaginative ideas that you've ever heard. Whether it's art, music, or just day-to-day conversations, they infuse everything with their unique touch of creativity. You can count on them to be that empathetic and understanding partner you've always wanted. They really get you, and their genuine care and compassion make you feel truly seen and loved. Their open-mindedness is a breath of fresh air, and you can talk to them about anything without fearing judgment. Their unwavering commitment to their values is truly inspiring; you'll never find them compromising on what they hold dear. And when it comes to those times when you need a friend to lean on, they'll be there, providing unwavering support and a listening ear. Their flexibility and adaptability make navigating life's twists and turns an exciting adventure. They have heavy water energy especially cancer and Pisces. They may have personal planets in 4th, 8th or 12th house.
Challenging side : But, you know, your future spouse does have their moments. Their idealism, as charming as it is, sometimes takes them to places that feel a bit too far from reality. There might be times when their sensitivity comes across as a bit of an overreaction, leaving you wondering how to tread carefully. They're not the biggest fans of confrontation, which can be a good thing most of the time, but it also means that addressing certain issues directly might not be their strong suit. Oh, and the decision-making process? Well, let's just say it's not the quickest. Sometimes you'll be caught in a loop of considering pros and cons, which can be a tad frustrating when you just want a clear answer. And criticism? Yeah, that's a tough one. Your future spouse might struggle a bit with handling negative feedback; it's like they take it to heart a bit too much. There could be moments when they retreat into their own world, leaving you feeling a bit disconnected. But hey, remember, nobody's perfect, right? All these quirks just make them who they are.
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Pile 3
Positive side : Alright, so your future spouse is a pretty cool cat. They're like a master strategist, always thinking five steps ahead in whatever they do. You can bet on them to come up with some seriously genius plans that nobody else saw coming. They've got this natural gift for analyzing stuff – they can see the big picture and all the tiny details, which makes them freakishly good at problem-solving. They are really smart. They have this insatiable thirst for knowledge, and they're not afraid to dive deep into topics that fascinate them. And trust me, their ability to think critically is off the charts. They're not just about book smarts, though. They've got this quirky sense of humor that might catch you off guard, and you'll find yourself laughing at their witty remarks. They're super independent and have this unshakeable confidence. They won't hesitate to tackle challenges head-on, even if it means going against the crowd. Their determination is downright inspiring. Plus, when they decide to share their thoughts and ideas with you, it's like getting a VIP pass to their brilliant mind. You'll never be short of engaging conversations with these guys. Your future spouse has more earthly vibes. I'm getting heavy Capricorn and Virgo vibes. They may have their Venus in earth or vice versa.
Challenging side : Alright, I'm getting that Your future spouse's brain is like a constant whirlwind of ideas, which sometimes means they can come across as a tad distant. They're so deep in thought that they might unintentionally tune out the world around them. You might need to remind them that Earth still exists lol. Their analytical nature can be a double-edged sword. Sure, they're great at solving problems, but sometimes they overthink things to the point where it feels like they're dissecting the meaning of life. Patience might be your ally when they go into full-on ponder mode. Another thing is their high standards. They have this vision of how things should be, and they won't settle for anything less. It's awesome that they strive for excellence, but it could lead to some frustration if things don't meet their expectations. And while they're great at giving advice, they might not always be the best at dealing with emotional situations. They tend to approach things with logic, even when emotions are in play.
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rainylana · 2 years
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“Baby, are you okay?”
Eddie Munson x female reader
summary: drug deal gone wrong. eddie realizes just how important you are to him. requested by @sharp-and-swift
warnings: reader has a knife held to her throat, sexual assault (reader is touched inappropriately), language, drug deal, fluff, major hurt/comfort trope (my favorite), special appearance by uncle wayne.
give me love babes mother needs it<3
taglist!
@phantomxoxo @eddiemunnson @eddiemania @ohlovelyhollow @delilahtaylorsverson @tessiemessie @kellysimagines @underthebatcape @blowing-mikey @lillianofliterature @supercalifragilisticprincess @tripthlightfantastic @edzmunsonswife @itiscj @hearts4laura @livasaurasrex @mic429 @avobabe87 @lexthemess21 @noturmom15 @nothisispatric @heeyitsg @genuine-possum @fvcking-gxddess @kneelforloki @actuallybarb @justaproudslytherpuff @xx-hospitalforsouls-xx-blog @rovckwells @no0neknowsm3 @flowers-and-tsukki @cosmic-lavender @your-starless-eyes-remain @kaqua @softyutae @ahzysauce @imangy @chaos-incorp @ultimate-sdmn-trash @insomniac-nerd-posts-things @imdoingbetternow @fionnthebandersnacc @imabadarsebard @catherinnn @averysblog @antigoneidk @ches-86 @aa-li-yah @bellasfavoritesweatpants
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If Eddie were an animal, he’d be a cat. Why? Because he had nine lives. He had more than nine, actually. He seemed to be void of all danger. Well no, that wasn’t true. Danger stuck to him like glue, but he was amazing when it came to getting out of it. Wayne teased him by calling him MacGyver and that he needed his own show. He loved the danger, the chaos of it all. It never bothered or got to him, atleast until one day when you were involved.
Eddie hadn’t had a bad drug deal in several years. The only people around Hawkins who needed a fix where high schoolers or lone wolves at the hideout. So, he didn’t think much about it when you asked to come along to his next destination.
You walked swinging your hands together, his fingers laced in yours as you crunched the fall leaves beneath your Chuck Taylor’s. It was supposed to be quick in simple. It was a friend of his uncle’s, who he’d never met, but he didn’t think much of it.
When you finally got to the designated meeting spot, you and Eddie sat across from each other at the picnic table in the middle of the woods, tapping your fingers and making small talk. Whoever you were meeting, was late. Eddie tiredly rested his chin in his palm, the cool air a bit nippy at his neck, but his jean jacket kept him warm. He offered it up to you, but you promised your orange sweater was enough.
“Ow.” You complained under your breath, finger scraping too hard at the wood beneath your palms.
“What’s wrong?” He creased his brow across from you, not moving from his position.
“Splinter.” You bit your lip, bringing it up to investigate. “Fuck, hurts like a bitch.”
“Here,” He reached out to take your hand and brought the tip of your finger up to his eye line, squeezing at the skin around it. He muttered a soft apology when you winced at his prodding.
“I think I got a knife in here somewhere.” He padded at his jacket, making you scoff and widen your eyes.
“You’re not cutting that thing out of me.” You shook your head. “Hell nah.”
He rolled his eyes. “Fine.” He hopped up and rounded the table to set beside you, holding your red, irritated finger. “Seems like we might have a no show.”
“Get that a lot?” You tried to ignore the pain as he squeezed the skin, gritting your teeth.
“Not really.” He focused on the wood under your porcelain skin, sticking out his tongue in concentration. “Just sell it to someone else if they don’t.”
The wind picked up a bit and shivered inside of your clothes. Eddie hummed and squeezed your wrist. “Told you you’d be cold.”
“Shut up.” You lightly kicked him. You were naturally a cold blooded girl. “Just get this tree trunk out of me.”
Eddie snickered and teased you by squeezing your pained skin, but he finally got it out as you sighed with relief. He took the splinter away from your cut it held it up with victory, a goofy smile on your face. “Tada.”
Victory was not held long though. The dark curtains of his hair kept him from witnessing the stranger from the corner of his vision, and you were too focused on the task at hand, and a scream lodged it’s way out of your throat when you were yanked up from the table.
It all happened so quickly. You were now being held up off the ground, a blade held thickly at your throat and a strong arm wrapped around your waist. Eddie was stumbling off the ground from trying to catch you, his eyes wide in a panicked fear.
“Don’t you fucking move!” Whoever it was behind you screamed into your ear, and you were hyperventilating as your eyes blurred with tears, heart racing like a wild stallion.
“Hey, hey, okay, okay!” Eddie begged, holding up his hands with an unhinged jaw. His eyes were wide and his face had gone pale.
“You got what I came for?” The man asked bitterly. Your body was pressed up against his, and you could smell alcohol and cigarettes on his breath. The sharp blade was right at your jugular, and you were whimpering, not able to struggle and paralyzed with fear, body stiff as the planks you had sat on.
“Yeah, yeah, man, I got it!” He nodded rapidly, eyes flicking between you and who he assumed, was his uncles friend. He needed new ones. “Just.. just, hey, you don’t gotta do this, okay? She’s..she’s not done anything. I’ll give you what you want just let her go, alright?”
Eddie’s voice was shaking, and you could only cry in your captives arms. Your eyes were so wide that it hurt your head, your body was shaking and you had to clamp your mouth shut from screaming.
“What else you got?” The man was larger built, dark hair and tan skin. He looked like a truck driver. Eddie hadn’t seen him before.
“Anything.” Eddie pointed back to his lunchbox. “Coke, weed, acid it’s all yours, man, just let her go!” He was more frantic with his words, knees barely buckling underneath him.
“Give it to me. Toss it over here.”
Eddie obeyed quickly, reaching behind him, arms still up, and tossed over his lunch box his your feet. “Now, let her go.”
You cried out when your body was bent over, the man reaching down to pick up the box. Your eyes never left Eddie’s, wide and terrified, your cries breaking his heart. With one hand, he opened the box and quickly scanned it, giving a satisfied nod. “Pleasure doing business with you.”
He still hadn’t let you go.
Eddie’s stomach twisted upside down when the man’s eyes started to observe the side of your cheek, and you squeezed your eyes shut as the man shushed you sickeningly. You were crying, tears dripping down you neck with soft sobs. You begged yourself not to move. One wrong motion and Eddie would be traumatized for life.
“Hey!” Eddie tried to get the man’s attention. “Let her go.”
The urgency in his voice made you break a sob, cringing and shying away as his free hand came up to pet your cheek, drifting down your hip. You tried to calm yourself. Freaking out would only make your case work, but you could only quiet down so much.
“Hey, don’t touch her, man!” Eddie snapped, taking a step that got the knife digging into your skin even more as he shouted at Eddie to stay away. The action, and the sudden burn of blood that leaked at the cut along your neck, made you hysterically sob and scream out, your legs giving out from under you.
“You shut your mouth before I slit her throat!” He screamed, only worsening your case. Your chest was heaving and you were begging Eddie with silent eyes to help you.
You but your tongue so hard you tasted blood when the man’s hand cupped the space between your legs, squeezing you and making your throat close. You had to look away from Eddie, not daring to let a full fledged whimper out.
“Stop! Fucking stop it!” Eddie screamed in desperation, stumbling on his feet with shaking limbs and wide eyes. “Please, please you got what you wanted, please let her go!”
He gave you a little jostle and licked your neck, rubbing the fabric of your jeans and making you grow cold. He gave your neck a little bite before he loosened his grip on you, removing the knife as he held it out to Eddie. “You keep your distance until I’m gone, ya’ hear?”
Eddie nodded as quickly as he could. “Yeah- yeah, you got it.”
Your body was set free but you couldn’t move, your hands froze in the air as you paralyzing stared off at the side. Your heart felt like it was going to explode. Eddie kept his eyes on the man, who kept the knife up, backing away deep into the woods. When he was finally gone from sight, Eddie ran to you.
It was like your brain had turned to mush. Your face was pressed into his chest and his arms were wrapped around your shaking body so tightly it almost hurt, then he’d pull away to look at your neck, grab your face and hold your hands, pulling you back in to hold you. He was speaking all the while, but you could only hear muffled words. His touches felt fuzzy and tingly, like he wasn’t really there. You couldn’t see clearly, and your tongue felt heavier.
“Come on, we’ve gotta get outta here.”
You didn’t hear it, but an arm wrapped around your waist and led you away from the forest.
“Eddie, what happened?”
Wayne had yet to take a sip from his freshly brewed cup of coffee when his nephew barged in with you by his side, shaken up as he ever saw them.
“We got jumped.” Eddie gulped, closing the door behind him, his hand holding yours tightly. “Some guy that..I don’t know, claimed to know you,” He was panting as he rambled, pausing to turn to you. “Hey, why don’t…here, honey, you need to sit down.” His voice had turned so much more gentle as he grabbed your shoulders and softly ushered you to a seat on the couch, crouching down below you. “I’m gonna..I’m gonna get something the clean your neck, okay?” He looked into your eyes and you gave a weak nod, not meeting them.
“Eddie,” Wayne said more seriously when Eddie ventured into the bathroom. “What the hell happened?”
Eddie stopped and his face went white, bringing a hand up to his forehead. He stepped around his uncle to close the door. “He..he came out of nowhere. I didn’t see him. He…he held a knife to her throat and- and he..he- touched her.” His voice broke and he could hardly get out the words. “Fuck,” He grew overwhelmed and covered her face. “He cut her neck a little bit but- fuck, Wayne he touched her right in front of me and she won’t- she won’t say anything, oh god, this is my fault. It’s my fucking fault, Wayne-”
“Hey, hey,” Wayne grabbed his face and pulled him close. “Calm down, Eddie.” He recognized the signs of his past panic attacks, his breathing erratic and face gone of color. “You’re alright. She’s alright. But now you know why this stuff is dangerous, right? You’re lucky nothing worse happened. It needs to stop, bud. You don’t gotta worry about money.”
“I know, I know,” He breathed, resting his hands on his uncle’s arms. “Fuck, Wayne, what do I do? I’ve fucking traumatized her.” He squeezed his eyes shut.
“No, you haven’t, Ed.” Wayne said calmly. “Just learn from this, okay? You’ll both be okay. Just need to calm down, alright?”
Your ears caught the sound of the bathroom door opening, but you didn’t look up. You said rigidly on Wayne’s sofa, knees up and arms laying loosely at your sides. Your face was pale and void of color, eyes glossed over and red, the skin around them swollen and irritated. You felt disgustingly gross. You heard Wayne fish for his keys in the pocket of his jacket, his boots padding in the carpet as he walked around the coffee table to stand next to you. You tried to smile when he bent down to give you a kiss on the top of your head.
Eddie came back to crouch in front of you, tearing open a first aid kit and looking through it’s contents. He muttered to himself about what he needed to find. He had a wet napkin sitting on his thigh, and he picked it and looked at you. “Is it okay if I clean it up a bit?”
You nodded softly and lifted your neck a bit, his hand soft on your skin. You tried not to cringe at the feeling, but you couldn’t help but get a flash of ptsd. You pushed it away. He cleaned as quickly as he could, his other hand rubbing your thigh softly. He kept looking up at you lifeless eyes, a frown on both of your faces. When he finished, putting a dab of Neosporin and a bandaid, he had to speak up.
“Baby, are you okay?” Of course, you weren’t. His lips were pulled down and his hands held your knees, his voice soft like a winter’s first snow.
“Yeah.” You forced yourself to speak, the crack in your voice betraying you.
“Y/n, I’m so, so sorry.” He pleaded, gathering your hands and kissing them. “Sweetheart, I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry.” He kissed up your arm until he got the dent of your elbow.
Never in his life had he felt so much love for another person. He always knew you were important to him, but important didn’t even grace it now. You were his life. Your spirit animal was not a cat, and you did not have nine lives. Eddie wanted to cry again. “I’m so sorry this happened, baby.” He looked up to you from your stomach. “Are you okay? Please, talk to me.”
You didn’t know how to feel. You weren’t processing anything. The only thing you did feel was terror. Your mouth opened and closed, trying to find words. He could see the confused, complicated look on your face as he sat up. You grew panicked, but before you could get too overwhelmed he cupped your cheek.
“It’s alright.” He said softly, giving you a kiss on the lips, soft and delicate. “You’re alright, honey. Here, sit back.” You leaned back until you rested on the back of the couch, and he propped your feet up on his lap. He worked to untie your shoelaces, working them through the triple nots you tied. He managed to get one off before the damn broke.
When you let out a quiet sob, his eyes snapped up to you, face dropping. You were looking up at the ceiling, holding your stomach as tears fell down your neck as you cried steadily. Eddie disregarded his task at taking off your other shoe and sat beside you, shushing you softly as he pulled you down into his lap, your face scrunched up in his jeans. He leaned down to hold you tight, kissing your shoulder and offering words of apology.
Why did something so horrible have to finally make him realize how much he cared for you?
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7ndipity · 1 year
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There's a bug
Ot7 x Reader
Summary: how they would react to you telling them that there's a big bug in the kitchen.
Warnings: mentions of insects obviously, mentions of some violence towards said insects
A/N: more absolute nonsense because it made me laugh, idk
Masterlist
Requests are open
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Jin: Tries to pull some MacGyver shit with a lighter and an aerosol can(pls don't do this omg), sets kitchen on fire, the bug gets away.
Yoongi: Just kills it with a napkin and goes on with his day. Was a little too calm about it tbh(you start to worry that you might be living with a hit man or serial killer)
Hobi: Barricades himself in the bedroom and calls pest control(or Yoongi)
Namjoon: Tries to catch it in a cup or smth, but it ends up flying at his face
Jimin: He already knew it was there. He was hoping you could be the one to get rid of it, please🥺
Taehyung: Picks you up and just walks out the door. "We don't live there anymore."
Jungkook: "Oh, that's Gerald." "Excuse me?" "No, it's okay, he's chill, he's not like Roger." "Who the fuck is Roger?!" "We don't talk about Roger."
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apocalypsepolls · 11 days
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Requested!
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purrgilpawkins · 5 months
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Slime + Ink
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Summary: Jack realized pretty early on that Mac always needed something. Whether it be something to distract him or something he needed to help finish his projects. (Or 5 times Jack is there to give Mac something he needs and 1 time he isn’t.)
Pairings: Jack Dalton & Angus MacGyver
Part of the Comfortember 2020 series Prompt: Fidgeting / Jacket
Warnings: n/a
AO3 Link in Replies
Twenty-three hours into this surveillance mission, Mac had run out of paper clips and, unfortunately for Jack, found a pen and immediately started clicking it.
Jack was a very patient person (even if he liked others to think he wasn’t), you gotta be in order to be a truly professional sniper. That being said, he snapped after about three minutes.
“Mac, I am this close to smackin’ you upside the head.”
Mac stopped at Jack’s statement and glared at him before flipping the pen in his hand…and biting the tip. Jack sighed, glad he was no longer hearing the clicking (even if Mac’s pen chewing is still a little noisy).
They sat in (mostly) silence for the next few minutes, Jack trying to do his job and Mac still eating his pen. That didn’t last too long either, seeing as the pen Mac was chewing on burst and filled his mouth ink. Jack looked at him in amusement as Mac sputtered, reaching for one of the water bottles in the cup holders.
“Jesus, kid. I know you’re bored outta your mind but do you really need to poison yourself?”
Mac opened the door to the car and spat out his watery-ink mixture and closed the door. He glanced at Jack and wiped his mouth, which was still black. “Sorry. Guess I’m going a little stir crazy.”
“No shit.”
Jack sighed once more before reaching into his jacket pocket and pulling out a packet of tissues that he handed to Mac. The ink-stained blond took it and wiped at the ink he just painted his hand with.
“Sorry. For blowin’ up at ya. We’ve been here for a day, I’m tired, and our intel must’ve been wrong cause the guy didn’t even show up!” Jack sighed yet again as Mac dabbed at his mouth, “How mad you think Patty’ll be if we left?”
“Probably pissed,” Mac said before attempting to remove the ink from his tongue.
“Yeah, well,” Jack sighed (yes, again) and dropped his head onto the steering wheel before quickly bringing it back up with a look of determination on his face, “She’ll just have to send somebody else out here to waste their time.”
Jack started the car and took off while Mac protested with a tissue in his mouth.
Jack saw that look in Mac’s eye. The one he got when he was about to run off and start making something out of random junk. And that was exactly what he did.
Mac ran out the back door of the restaurant and Jack followed him, not surprised to see the younger man digging around in one of the dumpsters.
“If you’re that hungry, they got fresh food inside the place, hoss.”
Mac ignored Jack and continued rummaging in the dumpster, throwing things back just as much as he was keeping them. He looked to his partner and Jack got the idea just before Mac started tossing him some of the things he’d dug out.
“You mind telling me what your plan here is?”
“Would you listen if I told you?”
Jack shook his head, “Probably not, no.”
Mac gave Jack a look and carried on with excavating. He stopped for a moment and jumped out to the next dumpster before he started his digging again.
“Jack.”
“Huh?”
“I need something to, uh, to inflate. Kinda like a balloon but it doesn’t have to be exactly like it. Just, something to blow air into and tie off at the end.”
“Right, yeah. I know how a balloon functions.”
Mac ignored Jack’s snark and the older agent turned to search for the requested item in the restaurant itself when an idea struck him.
“Would a condom work?”
Mac paused, “Yeah, that’d work.”
Jack moved the junk to his other hand and reached into his back pocket and pulled out the aforementioned condom, handing it to Mac. Mac looked at the condom and then at Jack. “Why…?”
Jack smirked and raised his eyebrows suggestively.
Mac shook his head, “Never mind. Don’t need to know.”
Mac still had a few more weeks of recovery ahead of him. The PT was going well and the burns on his hands seemed like they wouldn't scar too bad, if at all.
Despite all the progress he’d made, it was still a struggle to move his hands. And for Mac, that was torture.
Bending his fingers too quickly was painful and some objects were rough against his still healing skin. It all made Mac upset and Jack saw just how upsetting it was.
They were sitting on Mac’s couch, Jack pretending to watch a movie while he sneakily eyed Mac as the man in question got lost in his own head. His fingers seemed to twitch even more now that they were hurting and Jack knew Mac would do anything for some kind of distraction.
So, the delta reached into his pocket and pulled out a mesh stress ball. He’d put it in there while at the store, completely forgetting about it, and ended up stealing it; he’d picked it up in the first place with the intent of giving it to Mac at some point anyway.
Jack reached over for Mac’s hand and gently turned it over to place the ball in his palm. Mac gave him a tired look but started squeezing the ball. He continued squeezing after several moments and once Jack realized he’d done good, he turned back to the movie, glancing at Mac occasionally, seeing him still slowly squishing the ball.
Not even thirty minutes go by before a faint pop! sounded from the general area of Mac and something warm and slimy smacked Jack in the face. Jack looked over to his partner and saw a trail of green slime inching down his face from his hair, his eyes squeezed shut, and a now deflated stress ball in his hands.
“Mac.”
“Sorry.”
Jack popped out of cover, getting three shots off before the guys on the other side of the warehouse got a few shots off themselves and he fell back behind the box he and Mac were using for protection.
“Anytime now, Mac!”
“Working on it!” Mac was very clearly working on it. Jack wasn’t sure the exact details of what “it” was but he was promised something explosive and that was all he needed.
The firefight continued as Mac took his time building his makeshift bomb. He looked up at hearing the click of Jack’s now empty gun. That was the last clip too.
“Mac!”
“Just another second!”
The goons were still firing their weapons from their places scattered about the “abandoned” building but they were likely to realize soon that the dudes who interrupted their illegal activities had stopped firing back.
“Okay, okay. Done!” Mac said as a bullet ricocheted past his head. He reached behind him to the matchbook he planned to use to light. “Oh, dammit.”
“What? What’s the problem?”
Mac picked up the matchbook, soaking wet after it had managed to land in a small puddle of water, now completely useless. The pair looked at each other and Jack was a little worried at the slight fear in Mac’s eyes. The bullet storm from the baddies had all but ended and then Jack remembered.
He frantically went for one of his inner jacket pockets and pulled out several loose matches, quickly handing them to Mac. A look of surprise replaced Mac’s scared one as he lit a match.
“The moment I throw this, run.”
“Don’t gotta tell me twice, hoss.”
It was unfortunate how used to the scents and sounds of a hospital they were. It practically came with the job, being in a hospital waiting room, if not the hospital bed itself.
Riley had been shot. She was currently in surgery and the doctor who’d talked to the two other agents had assured them that if all went well, she would be fine.
Jack remained worried, of course. It was his job to worry, after all. Mac was worried too but it was obvious by his pacing he was feeling guilty as well.
Riley had shielded him from the bullet. It was supposed to hit him. Now she was the one in surgery, getting a bullet removed from her back when it should’ve been him. She didn’t deserve this.
Jack had been watching him like a hawk the whole time. Mac knew he was making him worry, which just made him feel worse. He shouldn’t be making Jack worry about both his kids, especially when one was more deserving of that worry than the other. Mac's unhealthy train of thought came to a stop when Jack spoke up.
“Hey, Mac.” Jack motioned to the seat next to him and Mac sat down, avoiding eye contact.
They sat in silence for a moment before Jack reached into his front pocket and pulled out a paperclip. He moved it in front of Mac’s face, making sure he saw it, before he started talking again.
“I’m willing to bet that there’s no way in hell you can bend this into…the Eiffel Tower.”
Mac scoffed, “Jack, you’ve seen me do it before.”
“The hell I have!”
“You have! We were in Paris trying to take down that arms dealer, remember?”
“Nope. Not ringing any bells.”
Jack smiled and Mac smiled back. The younger agent knew what his partner was up to and Jack knew he knew. Mac took the paperclip, happy to be distracted, and started bending it.
It was their first mission without Jack.
If anyone had noticed that the jacket Mac was wearing was Jack’s, no one acknowledged it.
It was a little too big on him, but that was okay. It was comforting, in a way. It felt like Jack was still there. Still protecting him.
During their mission, Mac had made a mistake. He hadn’t been able to focus properly since…well. A man had come at him with a knife and Mac froze. Luckily for him, Desi actually took her job seriously.
A good helping of blood had landed on Mac and therefore also on the jacket.
Mac didn’t want to wash the jacket. It still smelled like gunpowder and leather. Like Jack. But it was also starting to smell like blood and Mac was sure Jack wouldn’t be too happy about a bloodied jacket when he came back.
If he came back.
He’d eventually made up his mind and decided to wash the jacket.
Mac knew from experience that putting something in the wash before checking the pockets could lead to some kind of catastrophe, so he decided to empty out the pockets. He opened the zipper of one of the inner pockets and pulled out a folded piece of paper, simply labeled Mac. The man in question looked at it curiously, flipping it over and back before he folded it open.
Hey Mac,
I’m sorry I broke my promise. You should know that I didn’t want to leave if I didn’t have to. I know this seems like something I don’t have to leave for but, trust me, I do. Irregardless, my place will always be by your side. And don’t you worry, I promise I’ll be back as quick as I can. If you’ll have me, of course. Tell the others I love them.
Love you kid,
Jack
Mac wondered if Jack had anticipated Mac taking his clothes or if this was something he was supposed to read at all.
Either way, the short note brought some comfort to Mac, like his partner was still checking up on him despite his absence.
Mac slipped the note in his back pocket and put the jacket in the wash, a smile of his face.
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ash5monster01 · 2 months
Note
Maybe some Macgyver as your bf headcannons? I love your content! <3
omg I’ve actually never done head cannons before but there are so many I have for the MacGyver fandom it isn’t even funny.
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So without further ado, here is my very first attempt.
At least once a week he attempts to cook you dinner. He hates feeling like he’s taking advantage of you since you always cook for him, but he’s so bad at cooking it’s the only thing that makes sense. So you let him try and keep the pizza delivery guy on speed dial.
Whenever he leaves for a mission he makes sure to text I love you at the last possible minute. That way you know how he feels and he doesn’t have to hear you say it back or else he’d never end up going.
He loves teaching you how to fix his motorcycle. Sometimes he breaks something just so he can continue to teach you new things. Hence why it’s still in the living room.
When he proposes he makes your ring out of a paperclip. (I know he made Desi’s ring in the show but something about a paperclip and a broken piece of glass as a diamond suits him much more)
He always goes to Jack for relationship advice. Even if Jack has a zero percent success rate in relationships, no matter what he has the right thing to say.
He never buys you gifts. He makes absolutely everything. One time he even made you a necklace before even considering buying it.
You constantly argue about him not having curtains in his room. You argue that it’s like waking up inside the sun and he argues that you should already be up when the sun is up. You also argue that at any given moment your friends could be on the deck and see you messing around.
He loves when you kiss his scars. Considering he’s got many from field work and bullet wounds from previous relationship casualties. He was always insecure about them until you.
Same goes for his moles. Especially the one on his neck. It’s normally the first spot you kiss and he appreciates it since kids used to pick on him for them in school.
Mac often gets nightmares. When he does you make sure to wrap your arms tightly around him without waking him up until he calms down.
I definitely have more but I will leave you with this for now <3
Masterlist
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rosieblogstuff · 4 months
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MacGyver fandom, let's play a game
It's called...
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Yes, that's it. That's the whole game! It'll run all weekend long, or through next week, whatever, I don't care, just reblog this with a link and an excerpt and/or summary of your holiday stories, ok? Or recommend someone else's that we could be re-reading. Or post a picture.
This is a request with a pretty picture attached for fun. Ideally we end up with a list of stories attached. ☃️
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digital-corruption · 11 months
Text
Send in the Clowns
⚠ Trigger warning: Not suitable for people with coulrophobia (fear of clowns)
"Everyone's here?" MC asked as she walked into the small meeting room of the Mystery Investigators, Inc. office in Colville.
In the middle of the room sat a second-hand, oval wooden table with mismatching wooden chairs around it. Jake sat at the far end working at his laptop, ignoring Jessy and Cleo who had been gossiping all the latest happenings in Duskwood. Dan sat at the other end opposite Jake. While he seemed to be in quiet contemplation, the truth was he was still a bit hungover from the night before from one too many drinks at the Aurora.
"Well, everyone that was available," Jessy corrected. "Thomas and Hannah are still on their road trip and Lilly got stuck doing double shifts. She says, 'Hello', and wishes she could join us."
"Ah well, we'll take what we can get," MC shrugged and put a couple of large paper shopping bags down in the middle of the table.
"Hey, you've got me. What more do you need?" Dan boasted. "Honestly you could just send the rest of them home."
"Oh so you know how to bypass biometric locks?" Jake mocked.
"I am sure I can work it out. I graduated from the MacGyver School of Resourcefulness," Dan joked. "Just need some tape and some powder and boom! Instant fingerprint!"
"That might work on locks from the 80s, but this is the 21st century," Jake rolled his eyes. "And what would you do if it had an eye scanner?"
"The ol' knock-out-a-guard-and-hold-his-eye-open-in-front-of-the-scanner trick, duh!" Dan beamed.
"Wait, we're knocking out guards?" Cleo questioned.
"No, we are not!" MC exclaimed. "This is a nonviolent operation!"
"Ugh, fine," Dan leaned back in his seat with disappointment. "I suppose Jake can come then."
Cleo sighed with relief, "Ok, good. You know I don't mind a little B & E, but I have my limits."
"Well if everything goes according to my plan, you won't have to worry about the guards at all," MC began. "Our target is Jorge Santos. You may have seen his name on the signs around the city. He's a real estate agent here and we believe he's been scamming some of his clients, but the only way we can prove that is with access to his home computer."
"Is this legal?" Cleo questioned.
"Cleo, the man is an asshole," Dan pointed out.
"Yes, but if they steal information and give it to the police, it can't be used against him, right?" Cleo asked.
"If our goal was to get him arrested, sure. There are other ways to ruin him though," Jake interrupted.
"Our client knows proving a crime actually happened will be difficult with the way these scams are done. However, leaking the right information will heavily damage his image and his name, especially with high profile clients. The goal is to get the truth out in the open," MC explained.
"Ok, let's do it," Dan nodded. "What’s the plan?"
"Well, getting into Santos' house- mansion really, won't be easy. Due to his connections with the mob, his place is guarded. However, it also turns out Santos has an 8 year-old son who turns 9 on Monday. And Santos is going all out on his birthday party. His son wants a circus and has requested clowns," MC smiled with confidence.
"Wait, you mean…" Cleo trailed off, looking around the room.
"Jake as a clown!?" Dan burst out laughing. "This is the best news I've heard all year!"
"You too, numbskull," Jake glared from his laptop.
"Huh, what?" Dan's face twisted.
"Yes, I've ordered five costumes," MC motioned to the bags on the table.
"I think it will be fun," Jessy grinned.
"I don't know the first thing about being a clown," Cleo grimaced. "I could bake the pies though."
"Ah, just make it up as you go!" Jessy encouraged. "That's the great thing about clowns, right? Do whatever feels fun and silly!"
"I think it involves a lot more than that," Cleo frowned.
"Yeah, like a sense of humour," Dan mocked, earning him three eye rolls and a kick to his shin.
"Anyway, how do you propose to sneak around as clowns?" Cleo inquired. "I can't imagine clown costumes will provide much stealth."
"Not with squeaky shoes," Jessy humoured.
"But you need squeaky shoes if you're trying to appear authentic," Dan pointed out, already completely on board. "And a big, red noggin' for him."
Jake narrowed his eyes, "You’re enjoying this way too much."
"Oh, I'll be taking photos. Never know when I might need some quality blackmail material," Dan joked.
"Just remember I will have equally as much blackmail on you, if not more," Jake glared.
"Why would you have more?" Dan raised his eyebrow confused.
"Well, while you three are performing on stage, Jake and I will be breaking into the target's home office," MC shrugged.
"Excuse me!?" Cleo said abruptly. "While we're what!?"
"It'll be fine," Jessy insisted. "We'll spray water at each other and throw pies. The kids will love it."
"I also rented one of those tiny cars. Make Dan go into it and drive around all scrunched up. The kids will love it," MC assured them.
"I am pretty sure I had a nightmare once about this," Cleo sighed. "Ah screw it. It's just for a little while."
"So you’re in?" MC questioned.
"Yes, I'm in," Cleo waved her hand. "But I'm in charge of baking the pies. If I am going to have a pie smushed in my face, it must at least taste halfway decent!"
MC glanced at Jessy, her secretary. "Oh of course you know I'm in, boss," she giggled.
MC looked over to Dan, "Seeing Jake with a rainbow wig, ugly ass clothes and oversized red shoes is more than enough payment for me."
"You too, Dan," Jake reminded him. "You’re going to be wearing the same damn thing!"
"Yes, but you're going to be dressed as a clown," Dan reiterated. "And that will never get old."
"Ok, it's currently 10 o'clock. The party starts at 4. Let's get to it!" MC declared.
"Ah! I need to buy ingredients! Tell me you have pie pans!" Cleo jumped out of her chair.
"This is a private investigator's office. Why on earth would we have pie pans?" Jake pointed out.
"You at least have an oven?" Cleo frowned.
"A microwave oven?" MC shrugged.
"It’s ok, we can use my apartment," Jessy interrupted. "I have everything there."
"So I guess I'll just sit here and take a nap for the next five and a half hours?" Dan leaned back and stretched out his legs.
"Oh, no, you’re coming with us!" Cleo objected. "We can practise between batches."
MC nodded, "I'll go over the plans again. Jake you… you do Jake things."
Jake smiled, "I'll check all the programs."
"Great, let's reconvene here in four hours for costume changes, hair and makeup," MC announced.
"What? How long does is it take you to paint your faces white?" Dan asked astonished.
"It could take us that long just to get your feet into the big shoes," Jessy joked.
Six hours later, the Mystery Investigators, Inc. van rolled up to the security gate in front of the Santos mansion. Its occupants were in full costume and face paint. Their fake flowers pinned to their chest were full of water, ready to spray. Their pies were fresh and ready to be thrown. Dan sat in the back, practising his juggling every time the van stopped. Jake worked on his laptop doing Jake things. The three girls sat in the front with MC driving. A clown car had been loaded into the back, making the van heavier than usual.
"Company name?" The security guard asked, peering through the driver side window.
"Funky Feet. We're one of the hired acts for the party today," MC responded casually.
The guard checked his clipboard to confirm, "Ok, drive up and park on the left side by the servant's entrance."
"Servant's entrance?" Cleo questioned under her breath. "This guy makes that much money off real estate?"
MC nodded and closed the window as the gate opened, then drove up the driveway cautiously.
"You do when you're selling entire city blocks," Jessy pointed out.
"And work for the mob. Don't forget that mob part! No one makes that much money legally anymore," Dan spoke up.
"Now, now, it's time to get into character," said MC as she parked beside a catering van. "We're happy, jovial clowns, remember?"
"Yeah, happy, remember?" Dan nudged Jake with one of his bowling pins. "No sad clowns here."
Under his white face paint, thick red painted lips, blue stars over his eyes, bright green wig and big red nose, Jake glared at Dan. He reached his hand up and squeaked his nose.
"I can be happy," he said flatly.
"Could you at least say that with a smile?" Dan burst out laughing.
Jake faked a smile, but somehow it was even creepier.
"Stop! Stop! You're making it worse! Sweet Jesus, don't give this man any red balloons!" Dan cried out. "Every child is going to have nightmares tonight, I guarantee it!"
"Would you two stop?" MC frowned. "Come on, unload the little car."
Dan bounced up to his feet with two squeaks of his oversized red shoes as Jessy and Cleo went round the back to open the rear van doors. Jake begrudgingly shoved his laptop away in his backpack before getting up to help push the clown car out of the van. Once the car was out, Jake pulled MC aside.
"I'm not scary, am I?" he pouted.
"Aw, hey, don't listen to him. I mean look at Dan. Who are the kids going to be more frightened of? A little ol' sad clown or McBeefy, the body builder clown?" MC joked.
"His muscles do look ridiculous in those bright yellow clothes and those stupid looking suspenders," Jake conceded.
MC leant up and gave his nose a quick peck, not wanting to ruin her own makeup, "Hey, no sad clowns allowed here today, ok?" She moved around to rejoin the group, fighting the urge to laugh at the sight of Dan climbing into the tiny clown car. "Alright team! It's time for operation 'Send in the Clowns!'"
"No pun intended," Jessy giggled.
MC shook her head in amusement, then turned to lead the way around the side of the house to the backyard. The others followed her on either side with Dan in the clown car, Jessy and Cleo carrying boxes full of neatly stacked pies, and Jake working on his happy clown expression, which only got them startled looks from the other hired staff that they passed. Still, it was a power walk like none other seen before, with their oversized red shoes that squeaked out of sync with each other and their bright coloured wigs.
The event organiser approached MC and asked, "Ok, what act are you with?"
MC looked at her clown costume and at the others before turning back to the organiser, "We're the clowns."
The organiser rolled his eyes, "I can see that, but there are multiple clown groups." He gestured to the stage where another troupe was performing.
"We have competition!?" Dan exclaimed. "Oh it is on!"
"Dan! This is not a circus talent show! It's a kids party!" Cleo hushed him.
"Are you going to be satisfied with being second best?" Dan pointed out.
Cleo was quiet for a moment before responding, "I bet their pies taste like trash."
"Their clothes are too coordinated and don't even clash with their hair," Jessy winced.
"They don't have a clown car," Jake pointed out.
"Ha! Even hac-" Dan caught himself before he slipped. "Harlequin boy is getting into it!"
Jake glared at Dan, knowing full well what Dan nearly yelled for everyone to hear.
"Could you do something about that one?" The organiser gestured to Jake. "He's going to give kids nightmares if he keeps that up."
MC smiled while fighting back laughing, "I assure you once he gets into character, he's all smiles. He's just having a bad day because someone hit his cat this morning."
"Oh! I am sorry to hear that. Well, you can warm up over by the hors d'oeuvres table," the organiser motioned.
The group moved over to the buffet table and set down the boxes while Dan parked the car and climbed out. As he was stretching out, the performers on stage finished and swarms of children got up and flooded the area, catching the group by surprise. Dan quickly started to juggle his bowling pins in an attempt to entertain the children.
“You suck!” one of the children yelled suddenly, causing Dan to miss one of the pins. The children all burst out laughing from the comical squeak as it landed on his shoe, followed by the comical pained squeak from Dan’s mouth.
Dan grumbled under his breath, “You little twerp!” But then another child jumped on his oversized shoe to make it squeak again and landed on his toes in the process. A series of comical squeaks streamed from Dan’s mouth.
Meanwhile Jessy pulled out a long balloon from her pocket and blew it up to twist into a balloon animal, “Who would like a dog balloon?”
“I want an elephant!” one of the kids called out.
“Well, I don’t do elephants. I do dogs,” Jessy frowned. “Tell you what, I can make you a giraffe!”
“No, an elephant!” the kid reiterated.
Jessy was so stressed that she ended up popping the balloon anyway. The kids all laughed while she quickly tried to blow up another balloon, but one of the naughty kids poked the balloon with a pin and caused it to pop in her face.
Cleo would’ve come to Jessy’s aid, but she was busy trying to keep the children away from her carefully baked pies, “No touchies!”
Jake on the other hand was slowly walking backwards, trying to get as far away from the mob as possible. However some of the children spotted him and started poking at him.
“What’s in the backpack?” one asked.
“Hey, can you do any tricks?” another pestered.
“Why aren’t you smiling?” another pressured. “Clowns are supposed to be happy!”
“You are a terrible clown!” one called out.
“Ah, he’s so creepy!” another cried.
MC panicked, not sure who to help first. She hadn’t imagined there would be so many children. It felt like the entire school had been invited to the party, or at least the entire grade.
The previous performers walked past sneering at them, “What a bunch of amateurs!”
Just then, MC spotted one of the toddler’s tricycles and grabbed it. She sat down and started awkwardly riding around the group. Jessy saw her and joined MC on a tricycle as well, trundling along beside her. The kids pointed and started giggling at how ridiculous they looked. Dan walked in front of them and jokingly tried to stop them using pantomime, but the girls ran into him and they all fell over. Cleo shook her head, then grabbed two pies and dumped them on the heads of the two female pranksters. A couple of the kids ran over and jumped on top of Dan, but he lifted them up with his monstrous strength and stood up, then pretended to weight lift while the kids held onto his arms. A couple more children jumped on and tried to weigh Dan down, but he couldn’t be stopped.
Amidst all of the chaos, Jake watched by the sidelines confused as to what to do. A young girl grabbed his hand, catching him by surprise.
“It’s ok to be sad,” she looked up at Jake with sympathy.
Jake was speechless, but then he remembered he had a few paper flowers in his coat pocket. He had intended to give them to MC, but he decided it wouldn’t hurt to give one to away. He took it out and offered it to the little girl with a soft smile. As soon as she saw the flower she eagerly took it from him and ran off to show her mother. The speed that she ran off bewildered Jake, but he caught MC watching him with a smirk on her face. Not understanding why MC would look at him like that, he looked away and blushed, hoping the white paint would cover the redness in his face.
While MC was distracted, Cleo and Jessy started play bickering amongst themselves and threw pieces of pie back and forth between them. Some of the kids got involved and started to take sides. They grabbed the expensive hors d’oeuvres as ammunition and soon an all out food fight broke out. MC took the opportunity to sneak out and grab Jake’s hand. While security desperately tried to get the fight under control, they ran off towards the house.
“I started to worry we wouldn’t get away,” Jake commented as he plugged a handheld device into the security pad and unlocked it with brute force.
“Ah, creating chaos is what we do best,” MC smirked, while watching for guards.
“Ok, door’s open. Let’s go,” Jake announced as he opened the door for MC.
MC ran in first. As she spent the afternoon studying the house’s floorplan, she knew exactly where the office was. What she hadn’t expected to find was a guard exiting the bathroom as they came around the corner. They caught him still in the middle of zipping up his pants. Before he could pull out his sidearm, Jake stepped in front and squirted the liquid from his fake flower on his chest into the guard’s face. The guard stepped back stunned, then collapsed unconscious on the ground.
“What the hell was that?” MC exclaimed.
Jake shrugged as he stepped over the unconscious guard, “I figured swapping the water out would come in handy.”
“You did what!?” she glared. “What if one of the kids go their hands on it!?”
“You can discipline me later. Help me pick him up,” he leant down and lifted the guard by his armpits.
MC facepalmed herself in her head while she bent over and picked up the guard’s ankles. Quickly they shuffled him over to a closet and dropped him on the floor. After checking the hallway was clear, they made a mad dash for the office. As they expected. the office door had a digital lock as well, except this one had a fingerprint scanner. Jake pried open the panel and plugged in his device directly into the board, but it was taking a lot longer to break into.
“Dan’s method would’ve been faster,” MC teased.
“No, it would not,” Jake rolled his eyes. “We’d have to find the right fingerprints first and with so many people in the house, there’s no way of knowing whose print is whose. It’s almost done. Give it a bit more time.”
After another minute, the device finally beeped with success. The door clicked open, and MC dashed inside the office. Jake snapped the panel closed again and shut the door behind him.
“Check his bookcase while I install the virus on his computer,” Jake motioned to the bookcase on the side of the room as he marched over to the desk.
“Pfft, I give the orders around here,” MC frowned.
Jake glanced up and raised his eyebrow, “Would you like to break into his computer instead?”
“No, I’m good,” she turned away and started shuffling through the unmarked folders in the bookcase.
Jake shook his head and plopped down in the leather chair. Swiftly he pulled out his laptop and plugged it into the back of the all-in-one computer monitor. As soon as he unlocked his laptop, he started running his program to bypass the PIN login on Santos’ computer.
“There’s nothing here,” MC sighed and stepped away from the bookcase, then glanced over at the very serious clown sitting at the computer typing away like it was life or death. She pursed her lips in an attempt to keep a straight face, but as Jake looked up and noticed her watching, she burst out laughing anyway. “I’m sorry, you just look so ridiculous sitting there looking like that.”
Jake reached up and squeezed his red nose, “The things I do for you.” He couldn’t help but smile as he returned to his work.
MC giggled then noticed in the window behind Jake that Dan, Cleo and Jessy were being chastised by the event organiser. He was absolutely furious, but then one of the children threw a pie at him. While he was distracted, the others ran off with the kids helping their escape. MC then noticed the guard they had knocked out stumbling into the yard gesturing and shouting about a surprise clown attack.
“Oh shit! Jake! We’ve gotta go!” MC gasped.
Jake glanced over his shoulder at the chaos ensuing outside. Not wanting to leave the clown car behind, Dan jumped in and started to drive off just fast enough to keep ahead of security. Jessy and Cleo jumped onto the sides of the car and held for dear life. Jake snapped back around and quickly unplugged his laptop, shoving it back into his backpack.
“The installation is finished. Let’s get out of here before the cops arrive!” Jake said in a hurry.
The two ran for the door so fast their wigs fell off. MC nearly tripped over her shoes as they entered the hallway so she ripped them off and Jake followed suit. Running in their rainbow-coloured socks, they bumped into maids and cooks as they made their way for the servant’s entrance. At some point they lost their red noses, but they couldn’t remember when. As they exited the building, Dan was driving the clown car into the van with Jessy and Cleo still on holding on. MC ran for the driver’s side door while Jake went for the passenger side. They jumped in just as the girls closed the backdoors tight. MC swiftly turned the van on and put it into the reverse gear. She went backwards so quickly, she nearly hit some of the security guards, but sped forwards before they could recover. Luckily the security gate was already open to let a catering van through when MC pushed through in front of them and made it back out onto the open road. In the distance they could hear approaching sirens, but she quickly regained her cool and dropped back down to the speed limit, hiding amongst the everyday traffic on the road.
“Oh my God!” Cleo cried out from the back. “That was nuts!”
“Did we do it?” Jessy asked. “Please tell me we did it.”
MC glanced over at Jake, who was wiping the makeup off his face with a towel. He nodded to MC in confirmation.
“We did it,” she announced.
Later that night social media erupted when phone camera footage of Dan driving the clown car with Jessy and Cleo hanging on top while being chased by security was posted to Tiktok. Thankfully due to the heavy makeup and costumes, no one could identify them. Within the following days documents were leaked to the internet detailing Jorge Santos’ dirty techniques and scams to drive property prices up and down as he saw fit, but unsurprisingly no one managed to connect the two events together. Mystery Investigators, Inc. were successful once again.
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bonefall · 1 year
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Smartness
Just curious about your comment on giving the smartest character a northern English accent (presumably not literally since they speak a different language, but in a theoretical "English dub"); who would you say are the smartest cats in the BB au?
@halogenwarrior
Jessy! Definitely! That girl's a total genius! She's got this amazing way of thinking in 3D and considering long-term consequences. I consider her as a proper prodigy of cat engineering, more than just being intelligent like a lot of my other characters.
Lizardstripe and Barley Sr. are both also very intelligent, though Lizardstripe's intelligence is in a more interpersonal sense where Barley Sr's is in a more engineering sense.
I try to think of intelligence not as a singular Thing, but as a bunch of separate 'types' of intelligence that individuals can have. Some people are great at understanding 3D space, others are amazing at remembering basically everything, others have outstanding social intelligence. So on. Most people have at least one, unless you're Billystorm <3
Other random 'smart dudes' in BB,
Runningnose: Just as intelligent as his mother, Lizardstripe.
Brushburn: Great engineer, photographic memory
Dappletail and Ferncloud: All educators need to have really good memories.
Ravenpaw: Excellent memory, would have made a great Cleric
Spottedleaf: Insightful, catches people off guard with how much she's able to gleam about you just from a few sentences
Daisy: Very rational and insightful, able to clear her mind and see things objectively.
Poppyfrost: Inquisitive, excellent at logical processes
MacGyver: That name... it HAS to be something.
List is obviously not comprehensive, but these are characters I think are particularly intelligent.
Anyway, yeah, in-universe the cats are all speaking Clanmew. But I got a request from a loved one to very specifically make "the smartest character" ferociously Northern for them (in the hypothetical "dub").
Logically since the cats are in an amalgam of Clwyd/Cheshire/Manchester/Merseyside/Lancashire they'd ALL get accents from those areas. But "the smartest character" has to be even further up. Cumbria, maybe.
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veeveethebunee · 2 months
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INTRODUCTIONS!!
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--> ok i will be honest i have no idea what im doing, all my life and this is my first time on tumblr but bare with me..
--> but im a writer (and roleplayer for when i cant write by myself) and has recently hit MAJOR writers block and thought if i read other peoples work AND maybe have some people submit requests and prompts i could kick it away. so this is just to list all the things i write and who im able to write.
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1. FANDOMS :
the fandoms im able to write in the most accurately goes as followed :
- supernatural
- stranger things
- marvel cinematic universe
- x-men (mainly the movies, my comic knowledge is sadly limited.
- merlin
2. CHARACTERS :
there is certain characters i can write from each fandom, some more than others.
- SUPERNATURAL : Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Castiel, Kevin Tran, Crowley, Rowena, Charlie.
- STRANGER THINGS : Steve Harrington, Eddie Munson, Robin Buckley, Jim Hopper, Nacy Wheeler, Jonathan Byers.
- MCU : Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes, Natasha Romanoff, Matt Murdock, Clint Barton, Loki, Thor, Peter Parker (Andrew Garfield), Sam Wilson.
- X-MEN : charles xavier (young), erik lehnsherr (young), peter maximoff, alex summers, hank mccoy, raven darkholme, sean cassidy, logan howlett, scott summers, ororo munroe.
- MERLIN : arthur pendragon, morgana, gwen, merlin, gwaine, lancelot.
- OTHERS (other fandoms im in that arent major) : mike schmidt (fnaf movie), clapton davis (detention), sean anderson, angus macgyver (macgyver)
- i DO write more characters and im always into more but i cant list them all-- so im always opened to playing more characters.
3. THINGS I WRITE.
- SHIPS : some ships im into and write are sastiel, merthur, cherik, gwen/morgana, robin/nancy, sam/bucky, steddie. but im always opened to more ships!! practicslly any ship as long as they arent anything like incest, illegal, etc.
-> i will also write self inserts, y/n fics, and even ocs!! i just need the info to do so.
- TOPICS : i write about ANYTHING that you could think of, whether its a certain trope for characters, fluff, angst, even smut and certain things that pertain to that-- just ask!! i will tell if theres something i will not write.
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-> and thats about it!! atleast thats everything i can think of!! thank you for reading!!
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