#maybe crack? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

deathbyoctopi · 9 months

Text

Look look look loooookk!!! 👀 👀 👀 👀

@fieri-sentio-et-excrucior @10holmes @verycatbluebird @ba0shanblack @lady-of-the-lotus @silvysartfulness @veliseraptor

#XUEXIAO AO3 EVENT!!!!#I REPEAT #XUEXIAO AO3 EVENT EVERYONE!!!!!!#call to action #even if with a minimal fic #something cute #or angsty #maybe crack?#but let this be a thing plzzz!!!#mdzs #xueixao #xiao xingchen #xue yang #mo dao zu shi #the untamed

20 notes · View notes

reizerou-arts · 4 months

Text

M🟣CHI M🟣CHI

4K notes · View notes

inkskinned · 2 months

Text

before you know about women, you hear that you do not need to love the man, just that you need to love him through his manhood. which is to say you have seen the future painted in lamb's blood over your eyes - how your mother shoots you a look about your father's inability to cook right. how your aunt holds her wineglass and says i'm gonna kill em. men, right! how your best friend bickers with her boyfriend, how she says i can't help it. i come back to him.

you learn: men are gonna cheat. men aren't going to listen when you're talking, because you're nagging. men think emotions are stupid. they think your life is vapid and your hobbies are embarrassing. men will slam things, but that's because men are allowed to be angry. if you get loud, you're hysterical. if a man gets loud - well, men are animals, men are dogs, men can't control their hands or their eyes or their bodies. they're going to make a snide comment about you in the locker room, about your body, about how you're so fucking annoying. you're going to give him kids, and he will give you the money for the kids, and you're going to be running the house 24/7 - but he gets to relax after a long day, because his job is stressful. the man is on stage, and is a comedian, and says "women!"

and you are supposed to love that. you are supposed to love men through how horrible they are to you - because that's what women do. that's what good women do. wife material. your father even told you once - it'll make sense when you're older. it was like staring down a very lonely tunnel.

it feels like something's caught in your throat, but it's all you know, so. it's okay that you see sex as a necessary tool, a sort of okay-enough ritual to keep him happy, even though he doesn't seem to care about happiness as-applied-to you. it is relationship upkeep. it is kissing him and smiling even though he didn't brush his teeth. it is getting on your knees and looking up and holding back a sigh because he barely holds you as you panic through the night. it's not like the sex is bad and you do like feeling wanted. and besides! he's a man! like... they're another species. you'll never be able to actually communicate, right. he isn't listening.

you just don't get it. you don't feel that sense of i'm gonna climb him like a tree. mostly it just feels fucking exhausting. you play the part perfectly. you smile and nod and are "effortlessly" charming. and it's fine! it's alright! you even love him, if you're looking. you could have good life, and a good family, and perfectly happy.

in the late night you google: am i broken. you google i'm not attracted to my husband. you google i get turned on by books but not by him. you google how to get better in bed.

the first time he yells at you, it almost feels like blankness. like - of course this is happening. this is always how it was going to end up. men get angry, and they yell, and you sit there in silence.

you mention it to your friend - just the once - while you're drunk. she shrugs and says it's like that with me too, i just try to forget and move on. men are always gonna hear what they want to. pick your battles and say sorry even though he's in the wrong. you play solitaire online for a month. you go to your therapist appointment and preach about how you're both so in love.

after all, you have a future to want. nobody lied about it - how many instagram posts say marriage is hard. say real love takes work. say we fight like cats and dogs but the best part is that we always make up. how many of your friends say happy anniversary to the best and worst thing to ever happen to me. if you really loved him - loved yourself too - you'd accept that men are just different from you.

the first time she kisses you, it's on a dare at a party. something large and terrifying whips through your body. you wake up sweating from dreams where her mouth is encrusted with pearls and you pick them off one by one with your teeth. fuck. you sit at the computer and your almost-finished game of sim city. you think about your potential perfect life and your potential future family. you google am i gay quiz with your little hands shaking.

you delete each letter slowly. you don't need to love him. you just need to keep going.

#warm up #writeblr #this is also about being ace btw #my identity has slowly shifted over time and maybe if everyone is REAL cool i'll talk bout it #bc it's complicated and nuanced. but this is like #trying to warn u that if you find it “relationship upkeep” to have sex with ur partner #and don't actually enjoy it or seek it for urself. u might just not be attracted to them.#which is fine ! ace ppl can be perfectly happy in any relationship they feel good in!#but also i wasn't as straight as i had expected!#> the first time i saw dick i was like. huh. oh okay that's fine i guess #> the first time i saw pussy i was like. WAIT ACTUALLY HANG ON I GET IT #i just assumed sex wasn't all it was cracked up to be ya know #but also like. btw? this IS NOT saying ''u might be gay not ace''#bc tbh i'm grey ace/demisexual #it's saying u might not be into ur partner. explore urself & ur feelings. turn inward.#TAKE THIS IN THE MANNER IT WAS MEANT> GENTLE AND KIND #AND NOT IN A WEIRD INTERNET WAY PLEASE #bc the truth is that there ARE ppl who are gay who assume that they just ''don't like'' sex #and ace ppl who might need a different partner w/different needs #and i would have REALLY needed to hear ''check in w/urself about if u actually like sex''#WAY EARILIER in my life. but nobody said anything bc they assume if ur having sex. u like it.#not just the actual act of sex. not once ur turned on. do you ACTUALLY like it. or is it a burden?#even if ur gay. check w/urself. maybe ur more ace than u realized. in which case. ADDITIONAL FLAG BB #i love collecting my flags. i'm at like 354 at this point #but also btw this is about how toxic relationships are SO normalized that u can be in one #and have everyone around u being like ''THATS JUST MEN LOL''

2K notes · View notes

buppkizz · 7 months

Text

these 2 dragging sniper out of isolation to come hang

#tf2 #team fortress 2 #tf2 engineer #tf2 demoman #tf2 sniper #they are the bros of all time 2 me #they watch everything together and i feel like they'd appreciate each other's tastes in a lot #sit by the campfire crack beers n shoot the cans while talkin about the latest gunsmoke ep that just aired on the outdoor tv engie set up #demo is swinging his sword around drunkenly while they are doing this and has almost cut their heads off god knows how many times #maybe actually cut their heads off a couple times #all in good fun!!

5K notes · View notes

juniemunie · 2 months

Text

Its the kids turn!! ⸜(˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝

i put way too much effort in this

Don't worry they're still FAR from the conventional nuclear family lmao

PJ is by @/7goodangel

Gradient is by @/askcomboclub

Template by @/unu-nunu-art

Error and Fresh by @/loverofpiggies

Ink by @/comyet

Design notes under!

Design Notes for PJ:

-Error patches up the tears on his scarf! Very nice of him to do.

-All the art materials he has stashed on his belt are for food. He likes to snack on em often.

-Because of Error's..."tolerance" of him, he has more strings that he can use. He's got enough to form legs.

-Fresh gifts him magical ink durable Heely shoes! Instead of shedding footprints all over the place, he can instead heely/skate around and leave behind lines. He's creative on using it during battles. He would never admit it, but he appreciates the gift.

Design Notes for Gradient:

-I based his outfit off ye old web aesthetics like Cyber Grunge,,, I really liked the big pants look on him.

-I placed his scarf on his neck to match with his family, but also to match Template's scarf hehe, a little sign of his influence.

-You can't see it but his laptop bag has a ton of pins and merch of random dated internet references.

-His shoes looking old design Ink's shoes were complete accident but I liked it enough to keep anyway. Maybe Ink gave it to him and he spiced it up!

2K notes · View notes

ryllen · 5 months

Text

i found some fanarts & fanvid [ x.x.x ] and watched a bit of book 7 playthrough where sebek cried

1K notes · View notes

kuroishuuha · 7 months

Text

DP x DC prompt - Mom, Other Mom, and Dad

I don't know if it's been done before, but imagine an AU where Maddie and Talia have known each other for a while (maybe college friends, ex-LOA!Maddie, frenemies)

Imagine that Maddie was having trouble conceiving a second child because of reasons~ (could be complications from the first surgery which caused her to lose her ovaries, could be all the ecto-contamination, etc) and asks Talia for a viable egg

Cue Danny being Talia's biological child but is in no way related to Bruce

Alternatively, imagine if Jack was the one who was friends with Talia and he's the one who asks if she would be willing to donate an egg

I just want Talia be that aunt who comes around for every other holidays and sends gifts the other times (and always brings the coolest things - and probably highly illegal)

Bruce thinking Talia hid another child from him (technically yes, but this one's all hers)

#dpxdc #dp prompt #dp x dc #dcxdp #mom other mom and dad #dead on main #maybe #crack fic #but maybe serious #imagine the batfams reactions #half siblings danny and damian

1K notes · View notes

astrobei · 1 year

Text

he’s very tired after his surprise party btw

#happy birthday to mike one of my characters of all time fr #u already know how i feel about him so i will keep it short and sweet #thank u for consistently allowing me to crack ur head open like an egg and mess around with the insides #sigh. but like fr #happy mike day 🥳 !!#here’s to many more mike fics from me #ur local mike wheeler enthusiast #(see pfp for reference)#also pssssst #they’re wearing each others clothes pspspspsps #not that it’s rly relevant i just thought u shd know #bc i created this and i said so #mike wheeler #will byers #byler #/astro draws #creating an art tag which is maybe presumptuous of me we’ll see how often it gets used

3K notes · View notes

spacebubblehomebase · 1 month

Text

Shit post!

Don't take this too seriously, but LMAO XD. -Bubbly💙

531 notes · View notes

radiance1 · 6 months

Text

The League tried to interrupt a summoning of a powerful being from the Infinite Realms. From the information they collected, the being isn't of the status of a royalty, but they still had to be careful as the being the summoners tried to call forth was still of noble status.

They failed.

The head cultist finished the ritual, the last words to finish the summoning left their tongue and the room was suddenly doused in heat, as black flame came to life from within the circle, twisting and turning, back and forth until a pair of red eyes suddenly flashed from inside the twisting pillar of flame and just as suddenly as the eyes appeared, was the pillar broken apart.

What was left behind was the figure of a giant phoenix, wings spread as embers black as night gently fell down to the floor below and suddenly disappearing, as if they were never there in the first place.

"Who dares to disturb-" The being started, eyes scanning the crowd below before stilling, extremely and worryingly quiet. One of them quietly cursed. "Constantine..." The creature's voice was low, dangerously low, no doubt anger in its voice as it called out the Warlock's name.

Everyone tensed, expecting something dangerous, except for the cultists, and the Head, who turned his head towards them and smiled, obviously expecting them to be reduced to not even ash.

"100 years. One. Hundred. Years." The being spoke, and confusion wormed its way into the hearts of all those present. "100 years I have waited for you, and when we finally meet once again it's not even you summoned me but these-" The creature waved a wing at the cultist below. "-These fatuous and vacuous little things."

"And what is this? You surrounded yourself with those not even of human birth before you have even thought about me?" The noble's eyes narrowed. "Did our relationship mean nothing to you?

Someone, probably not Constantine, choked.

"Well then, after all of this time you can at least make yourself useful." In a flash of black fire, Constantine was brought from within the ranks of heroes and in front of the beast, a man who seemed to be trying to-and unsuccessfully- lighting a smoke. "Ah, why do that when you have me?" The being purred, bending down to apparently light a smoke before freezing, as if remembering what exactly it was doing, but the action was already done, and Constantine was killing his lungs away.

The phoenix snapped back up to standing above everyone else, clearing its throat as if what happened decidedly didn't happen.

"What exactly did you want me to be useful for, love?" Constantine asked, expelling the smoke from his lungs and deciding that this might as well be happening. The noble huffed, folding its wings at its sides as it stared down at its apparent lover. "Take care of our son for once in your sad, pathetic life."

This time, not only did Constantine choke, but a good chunk of people there did as well. Constantine ran a hand through his hair, looking up at the phoenix incredulously. "Aren't we both men?"

The phoenix looked at his lover as if he were stupid. "Your point?"

"I-" Constantine sighed, took a breath, held, then expelled more smoke from his lungs. Apparently, he decided not to question anything anymore. "You know what? Sure, where is the little bugger?"

Over the next few moments, both the Justice League and Cultists were treated to the noble transforming into a human (still having wings) and handing over their apparent child-who looked nothing like them by being a dragon, but who were they to question the apparent reproduction of a being from the Infinite Realms- and being lectured about what not to do and what to do and how he should be cared for.

Also, a warning for his many powers.

Then the Duke stole a kiss (One that he claimed was long overdue) and left.

The room was silent, only the sounds of breathing occupying the room as the temperature was brought back down to normal levels.

A moment later, Batman walked up to the nearby cultist and punched him across the face and knocking him out cold, suddenly reminding everyone what exactly they were here for.

A while later, in the meeting room, everyone looked at Constantine. Who had a baby eastern dragon wrapped around one arm (who was apparently his child) and rubbing his temple with the other.

"I can't explain this."

===

Danny was actually not Constantine kid, neither was he Vlad's. Biologically, at the very least, however. Vlad did adopt both him and Jasmine a while back after their whole parent fiasco.

They're dead, sadly unable to become ghosts, or perhaps not so sadly.

Of course, they unfortunately outlived Jasmine, which was to be expected, but Vlad and Danny did grow close enough that they no longer viewed each other as enemies.

However, who could have expected that Danny, finally ascending to his princely status, would turn him back into a literal child because he was, for all intents and purposes, one by Dragon standards.

Utter malarkey, he would say.

Taking care of that boy was the worst few memories he has ever had. He was constantly being kept from his sleep, his work being interrupted constantly, and the child managed to find a way to leave his sight at each and every turn.

But there were some sweet moments, he would say.

It's only reasonable, however, that his lover (who he hasn't seen for an entire century might he add) share the workload.

#dc x dp #dp x dc #dp x dc crossover #dpxdc #dcxdp #dc x dp crossover #I don't know how to write John Constantine #But I probably can't do worse then the current writers of DC or Marvel.#Probably.#Anyways.#shitpost #At least I think this is a shitpost #Idk #Or maybe its a #crack fic #crackship #But I thought of this and I find it funny so you all shall be cursed with this

954 notes · View notes

strawlessandbraless · 1 month

Text

There is no god, there is only destiel

#Dean Winchester wanted to tenderly and lovingly touch and be touched like he never had before and you had him nailed in the back by tetanus #there were people feelings he wanted to experience #maybe for the first time #jensen ackles #misha collins #spn #supernatural #dean winchester #destiel #castiel #deancas #gay #spn crack #14x09 #spn 14x09 #dean posting #cas posting #casposting #deanposting

763 notes · View notes

poorly-drawn-mdzs · 10 months

Text

Get Souped!

#poorly drawn mdzs #better drawn mdzs #mdzs #jiang yanli #I'm back!#She would never say 'get souped idiot' but I like to imagine JC and WWX would say it to each other if the other got sick and needed soup #JYL would never throw soup without knowing full well you would be able to catch it #She would rather fall face first than drop a bowl of soup after tripping.#She’s been hard at work preparing this soup! And all of you get to have some B*) Thanks for all the support while I was on break!#‘was your break relaxing op?’ unfortunately it was like being kicked down several flights of stairs. Didn't draw much sadly #Though I did end up writing a little mdzs fic! I haven’t written anything in a long while but it was fun. Maybe I'll post it....maybe...#regardless of all this rambling; thank you for all the kind messages. ill try and reply soon!#i have a few more fun doodles before I'm ready to crack into season 2!#Enjoy the soup in the mean time!#(PS: I know that's not the right hand shape for the meme redraw but augh...the OG hand angle was...way too hard to draw).#edit: retagged as better drawn mdzs. I put a lot into this one

2K notes · View notes

chamoemileclown · 5 months

Text

*jellies your eggs*

688 notes · View notes

jungwonderz · 6 months

Text

how you get the man of your dreams - l.hs

synopsis - yn finally lands a job at a good paying company , duolingo. her task is to think of ways to get more publicity / bring attention to said company. what better way than to publicly show her love for an idol? maybe this is her chance for him to finally recognize her, while giving attention to the company.

pairing - heeseung x fem!reader

warnings - cursing , kms/kys jokes , mentions of food , bullying , hurtful words (later on) , no set face claim - pictures are for visuals

started - 11/01/23

ended - N/A

taglist - open !! bold cannot be tagged @hoonvrs @seongclb @kjrcrz @fakeuwus @jeongintwt @luvistqrzzz @ghostiiess @l0ve-joy @k1ttylvr @manooffline @ramenoil @thisisnotjacinta @sungookie @marybboooooooo @teddywonss @oldjws @jihanlovic @nyxvrse @neocockthotology @riziwon @j-wyoung @httpsneptvnn @heavenhannie @wonsays @heelovesmeknot @thesassy-mia @pluviophilefangirl @neoculturewhat @fluerz @trashx678 @ineedsomezzz @positivelyinlovewithjungwon @i-hwa @ahnneyong @toeslicker @silverfond @renaishun @mrowwww @junsflow @itsactuallylina @nishimurasgirl @heerinnie @enhalovie @222brainrot @rikisly @mochamvgz @filmofhybe @enharts @ashiitex @moaqong @angrybananapolice @jaylans-stuff @tytrackfebreze @heestrawberries

a/n - hi guys🤍 yes a new smau even tho secret idol has been ignored for the last 3 months..😂 ANYWAYS this smau will not be serious and it’s just a fun little joke !! feel free to give ideas / tips💕

PROFILES

chaconne deez nuts , duolingo slaves

CHAPTERS

0.) the text

1.) finally employed

2.) felt cute might delete later (written)

3.) i’m just a girl

4.) scammed💔

5.) …

973 notes · View notes

canthandlethishit · 8 days

Text

what if tim and jason relationship isn’t like ‘you hurt me but it was the pit rage and youre sorry now so we good’ but tim absolutely retaliate by making jason’s life hell and it turns into a full out prank-war and they become friends again from that

like Jason fully meant to hurt tim in the titan tower and tim going ‘pffft you robin on steroids’ ‘omg Jason finally some age-appropriate clothing and real pants’ ‘bro you gotta lay-off the cows with all that leather’ <- tim has the pass to make these jokes because *points at titan incident* he makes damn sure he uses the pass with grace and excellent execution

like i want Jason to slowly go like ‘im sorry for legit trying to murder you’ and his reasoning being because i legit meant it and that was horrible and the pit influence was real but it only served to amplify all the other fucked up stuff and not the root of all his actions

and tim accepting the apology on his terms like ‘its chill bro ig i understand where it came from and it was fucked up asf but hey i got to vocalize all this morbid too soon jokes i would’ve never got to so’

like a more gradual jason - tim relationship being built up, and tim being a lot more of a little shit and jason is like damn you earned your robin place in the snark-roasting department alone

also when damian comes in the picture and after the whole time stream thing jason and tim can make fun/ one up each other form their being replaced reactions

‘you literally dressed up in traffic light colors with shorts and beat up a minor’

‘you literally joined an assassin organization, became an international criminal and lost a spleen’

‘that’s rich coming from you, red hood, the CRIMELORD’

#theyre each other fav robins your honor #dick: :(#<- sorry my man but maybe you can be jason’s 1.5 favorite robin #robin #jason todd #tim drake #batfam #batfam prompt #idk this all might be real ooc but i just want crack and dumb fuckery bonding #robin!jason #robin!tim #damian #red robin #red hood #the red hood #batfam writing prompt #incorrect batfamily quotes #incorrect batkids #incorrect batfam quotes

362 notes · View notes

iamhereinthebg · 5 months

Text

"If the yorishiro isn't here.. Maybe it's in this one"

455 notes · View notes