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#maybe i just want someone to care and it seems im always the one who cares more about others than they do me
skrimply · 5 months
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i feel so stupid!!!!!! and i feel stupid about the reasons i feel stupid!!!!! i dont know whats wrong with me! its like im so embarrassing and ridiculous and weird for just being me and wanting to hang out! why do i let myself think like this about someone who doesn't ever think about me!!!!!! GAH
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mrfoox · 11 months
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I love how me and Oliver is the opposite on everything but we still just get along
I'm just The Lover ™
And he's The Hater ™
But i still appriciate his way of thinking and that he is more grounded than me. On some topics he's more idealistic than me and I love that too
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madigoround · 1 year
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🙃
#I can’t remember if I’ve talked about it publicly on here but spark notes version and then we’re going to move on because it is relevant to#the issue at hand: when I was a kid not only did my parents abuse me and my sister but they also abused animals and mostly it was just that#they were neglected and starved to death but there was also a lot of my dad kicking the animals and my mom throwing the ones that she could#pick up across the room in anger and sometimes they would hit things and like generally stuff like that and I always knew it was wrong#it always scared me right? but I didn’t understand how wrong at the time because I kind of just thought everyone’s parents must beat the#shit out of animals just like I kind of thought everyone’s parents abused them a little bit#and then when I became an adult and got away and lived with other people with pets I realized how much people care about their pets and like#to the extent that they will buy all this extra stuff for them just because and treat them to all kinds of shit like doggy daycare#and more than anything I was just confused and I still am pretty much because it wasn’t right but I was taught that animals don’t matter and#my example of how to treat them was more like objects than living beings and I don’t agree with that I know that’s not kind and I’ve read a#ton of books on the right way to treat animals because I don’t want to be like my parents so like I’m trying right? like I’m genuinely#trying to be better I promise you but here’s the part that’s really bothering me that I’m not sure I can tell people in real life because I#don’t think someone who didn’t grow up like me would understand? and like I’m glad most people didn’t grow up like me but im just talking to#myself here and maybe someone will see this that understands: I think there’s something broken in my brain#and I can’t feel that like thing everyone seems to have about their pets I’ve been talking to people all week about how it’s a trial run and#im not sure im going to keep her and everyone has been emphatically telling me that their lives are so much better because of their pets and#they tell me about all this hardship they’ve gone through to give their pets nice things and whatnot or to clean up after them when they#destroy their belongings but you know it’s SO WORTH IT and I feel like something is broken in me because I don’t feel that way about any#animal like I enjoy petting animals and I enjoy giving them love but and here’s a part I feel really bad about I would be just fine if this#cat wasn’t here I am just fine on my own and they seem like more effort than they’re worth kind of I mean she is causing hell and I am being#patient I am cleaning up after her diligently I am reading the articles on how to make her separation anxiety better I am trying to be a#good pet parent and I just don’t feel it like she’s a lovely cat she’s so sweet even if she’s a menace and a problem causer but I don’t feel#what everyone else seems to feel and I’m confused and hurt and I feel broken#I don’t understand what else I could do to be better
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luveline · 6 months
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spencer one shot where he’s angry at somebody else [bc he so does look so kissable when he’s angry >:(] maybe someone at one of the precincts they’re working at said something rude about r and he defends u and maybe he gets a lil kiss <3
im thinking “this is calm and it’s doctor” vibes bc that scene does things to me 😭
ty for requesting ♡ fem, 1.1k
cw for sexual harassment
"Jesus," Spencer says, rushing to stand behind you as you bend over. 
"Mm?" you hum. You're fishing for your dropped change unsuccessfully by the precinct vending machines. "They have your chips, did you see?" 
"Your pants are ripped," Spencer says, hand ghosting your thigh. 
"What?" you ask, shooting up. You turn on the spot to hide, hand leaping back. You feel at the seam. "Where?" 
"Top of your thigh." 
"Shit, really? Can you see my–" 
"Yeah," he says, meeting your wide eyes while you locate the rip. "How did you do that?" He laughs. 
"Don't laugh!" you demand, though you're giggling as you do, hand covering your thigh and the bottom of your butt inefficiently. 
"Do you want my jacket?" 
"Don't cover it up, toots." 
You and Spencer both blink. There's a crowd of grinning beat cops by the door of the cafeteria who've obviously witnessed your misdemeanour. "Toots?" Spencer asks. 
"Sorry, boys, that's the end of the show," you say with a grin. Not because you particularly enjoy having been oggled, but it's always been like this. Men will always make weird comments to you, and you've learned to play nice until they're out of your jurisdiction. 
"Turn back around," one says bravely, though you aren't sure which one. 
Spencer stands in front of you subtly. "Do you know that thirty eight percent of women experience sexual harassment in the workplace?" he asks, quick but measured. "Thirty eight percent, but I'm sure a much smaller number of those women are federal agents, and a smaller number again have the capacity to break your arm. I've seen her give serial killers radial fractures. I've seen her do worse." 
"We were just messing around," one says. 
"No need to get defensive," says another. "Don't get mad, boy." 
"I am defensive, but I'm not mad."
His tone attracts the attention of a precinct sergeant who barks at them to stop messing around and get back to work. "Were they bothering you?" he asks after they've filtered out with their heads down. 
"No," you say swiftly. "Everything's fine." 
Spencer frowns, worse when the sergeant leaves, turning to you to take your hand. A few weeks ago at a company picnic, when the sun was high and your spirits comparatively lower, you'd apologised to him for flirting. You love to flirt and especially with him, puppy eyed Spencer with his head of brown hair and his big brain, but some of the team suggested you were taking it too far. You apologised, but Spencer didn't really get what you were saying sorry for and took your hand to lead you out of the sun. He protects you. 
"You okay?" he asks. 
"I'm fine." 
"You sure?" His voice fries. 
"I'm sure," you say. His hand is an interesting thing on yours. He has long, long fingers that seem to possess their own willpower, moving even as they're sewn through yours. "I don't know what to do about my pants." 
Spencer's eyebrows pinch together. "Well, I'll take care of that. I'll find you something. I can't believe those as–" 
"Oh," you interrupt, taking your hand back in want of a better thing to hold, his cheek a mix of soft and scratchy against your palm. "You're still mad." 
"I'm not mad," he insists, though eventually he relents, "Alright, I'm angry that they'd think it was okay to objectify you." 
"What else?" you ask, letting your voice drop in pitch, the sound smooth as angora silk. 
"I'm thinking about if I hadn't been here." 
"I can protect myself," you murmur, endeared by the heat in his gaze. "You said it yourself, handsome. Radial fractures." 
"You shouldn't have to." 
"We both already know that," you say, the side of your hand slipping down his cheek reverently. He squints gently, his lashes dark triangles, his irises a browned sugar. His jaw clenches under your touch. "You're handsome." 
"Right now?" he asks dryly. 
"Are you handsome right now?" 
"Are you really flirting with me right now?" 
"Why wouldn't I be?" You draw a line under his ear whisper soft to curl a longer strand of his hair around the tip. "You look hot when you're winning." 
"What did I win?" he asks, like he doesn't want to know. 
You grin at him, stickying. "Would you like an itemised list?" you ask, rising on tiptoes to speak into the shell of his ear. "What do you think you deserve, handsome? For such a fearless defence?" 
He's not immune to your whims, but he is used to them, planting his hands on your shoulders to ease you back on sure footing. "I don't want anything. I'll always defend you." 
"Can I give you a small token of my gratitude, at least?" 
His pinking cheeks practically emanate heat. "We don't have time for this," he says regretfully, "I still have to find you a coverup." 
"Just a small token," you say. 
He hums and haws. "Alright. Okay, whatever you want." 
"You sure?" 
He nods once, his jaw working with something unsaid. You touch his neck, fingertips trailing along the underside of his jaw until you're sure it's what he wants before you brace your hands behind his head and press a chaste kiss to his cheek, close enough that the corner of his lips align with yours but don't overlap. His neck is hot in your hands, his hair soft, his breath hooking as you lift your lips just a touch and your nose digs into his cheek. "Thank you, Spencer," you whisper. 
He pulls you closer. 
You shudder as his hand presses into the small of your back, wondering what it is he wants to do. His fingers spread. Your thoughts turn to white noise. Like he can sense it, he breathes out and steps away, but any sense of urgency is gone. 
"As much as I might tease, I really do need some pants," you say. "I'm not very interested in anyone else seeing my panties today." 
He rushes off to find you something and you press the backs of your fingers to your cheeks, feeling the heat there with a resigned embarrassment. He has no idea how much power he has over you, in his stony anger and his eager reception. The phantom of his hand warms your back until he returns, his sweater in hand. "Sorry, this is it." 
"If you want me to wear your clothes, just say so." 
"Hotch is pretty pissed at us." 
"Ah," you sigh, tying his sweater around your waist, "another day in paradise, baby." 
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ellecdc · 2 months
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Mother, i had a request but i forgot what it was 😭😭 i was sooo excited tooo 😫
But in trying to remember i had another brilliant idea!!
Reader x Reggie where theyre both stoic, slightly volatile 🐍 but theyre actually really soft and mushy. And then SURPRISE!! Theyre actually also dating Remus who takes care of them and is super protective. Maybe its revealed near the full moon and possessive Moony makes an appearance.
Siri is flabberghasted; Barty is horrified his darling sweethearts are be defiled; James is shook; and Lily is yhe ultimate bro and super proud of Rem.
Anyway, im sorry your computer was so mean to you. I hope you're looking after yourself 🩵🩵
......this is going to go down in history as my most controversial post........😈 may I present to you.....poly!MoonWater 😈😈😈😈😈
poly!moonwater x fem stoic!reader (i.e., Remus Lupin x Regulus Black x reader)
Sirius Black was admittedly currently going through a hard time.
Now, depending on who you asked, one (literally everyone and anyone) might say it was his own fault.
But if you asked Sirius Black? It was everyone else and their insufferable happiness that was to blame.
His insufferable best-friend-that-anyone-could-ever-ask-for finally landed the woman of his dreams and said woman of previously mentioned best friend was horribly in love with the sod.
Even his baby brother was happy! Which seemed like an oxymoron because in looking at Regulus Arcturus Black, one would assume that boy had never known a single moment of happiness in his life.
If one took into account their childhoods, they’d be right.
But Regulus Black, who was quiet in a way that made you feel like you were always being judged and ridiculed (you were) who very rarely had a kind thing to say about anyone had found happiness (read: a girl) who, for all intents and purposes, could be his personality doppelganger.
One difference, however, was that you were quiet in a way that always had one feeling like you knew too much, saw too much, and you were far too perceptive for anyone’s good. You always seemed to be analyzing the people around you and Sirius, sue him, found that incredibly disconcerting. 
He did not wish to be known, thank you very much. 
And even Moony! Moony, the bastard, was seeing someone! Fucked if Sirius knew who though because the sod wouldn't tell anyone who they were. He just kept popping back to the dorm room covered in hickies and looking far too pleased with himself whilst offering no details.
He was even spending entire nights away from the dorm, and always made sure he had the sodding map with him so they couldn’t even see where he was.
So yeah, Sirius was pissed.
And before you ask – no, it’s not because he was lonely – in fact, he had frequent visitors in his bed thank you very much.  And NO, he didn’t want to discuss the fact that perhaps if he didn’t run at the first sign of commitment or emotional intimacy, he too would have happiness. 
Perhaps he just wanted everyone else to be slightly less happy for his own sake.
Did no one ever think about Sirius Black?
Give right now for example. He and Regulus had been...hanging out (if that’s what you could call the two of them sitting together not speaking as they each did their own homework) since Sirius insisted it was important to do so, especially since Sirius no longer lived at home meaning that their usual means of brotherly bonding (read: trauma) no longer took place. 
And then James showed up (he was so lucky Sirius loved him) who was but of course accompanied by Lily Evans (she was so lucky she’s as lovely as she is) which turned into a small James Potter roast on account of Regulus and Lily both having years’ worth of material from hating him up until recently, and Sirius had loads of material on account of him being a certified hater. 
And then Moony showed up, and if Sirius didn’t know any better, he had definitely been fooling around mere moments ago.
But Sirius did know better.
“Moony, what broom closet did you just crawl out of and where’s the poor soul that was stuck in there with you?” He spat.
Remus merely chuckled and pulled a book out of his bag, making himself comfortable in one of the library’s grandfather chairs. “No one was stuck anywhere with me.”
“No, I’m sure they were a very willing participant.” Regulus drawled, looking particularly bored for all intents and purposes, never bothering to lift his gaze from his book.
“No need to be jealous, baby Black. You’re more than welcome to join me in such broom closets.” Remus joked with a wink.
“Oi!” Sirius swatted at Remus on behalf of his brother (he’s welcome). “That’s my baby brother you’re talking about, and he’s taken thank you very much.”
“Merlin knows how,” James muttered none too quietly, “it’s not like he’s very approachable.”
Regulus lifted a lazy eyebrow as he looked at James from above the pages of his book. “I’ll have you know I’m very approachable to those I wish to be approached by.”
“Hi Reggie!” 
“Get fucked.” Regulus called back to Barty Crouch Junior, hardly sparing his best friend a glance as he approached him from behind. 
“Wow, Reggie’s in a good mood today, huh?” Barty said as he sat on one arm of Regulus’ chair, causing James to laugh until he realized that Barty wasn’t joking.
Suddenly another body showed up and gently sat on the other arm of Regulus’ chair.
Sirius watched as Regulus’ impassive face completely cleared of all contempt and he looked up at you with pure and unadulterated adoration.
It made Sirius sick. 
“Bonjour, mon cheri.” He murmured softly, in complete contrast to the harsh, militarized way he had previously been spitting at everyone else. 
You smiled gently at the boy as you pulled a notebook out of your book bag and produced a small, pressed flower, handing it to Regulus between your thumb and forefinger.
Regulus looked at it like you had just presented him with a hundred-year-old bottle of fire-whiskey.
“Did you pick this for me?” He asked gently, plucking the flower from your fingers with matching delicacy.
You offered him a quiet ‘mhm’ and Sirius noticed a shy smile grace your lips. Regulus’ eyes moved from the flower to your face, and he gazed at you like you had hung the moon.
“Merci, mon amour.” He said reverently and pressed a kiss to your cheek.
Lily looked at the two of you with a smile one might see on the face of a proud mother, James looked at the two of you like he was seeing a bowtruckle for the first time, and Remus looked oddly taken with the show of affection. Barty was apparently the only other sane one amongst them – oh gods, maybe Sirius really was losing it.
“Where the fuck has this Regulus been the last six years?” Barty muttered incredulously. 
Without much effort on your part, you reached over Regulus’ shoulder and shoved Barty off the arm of the chair and onto the floor before sliding to sit directly in Regulus’ lap.
“You...alright, Crouch?” James called tentatively from his place on the other side of the couple. 
“Oh, I’m fine. That’s just how she shows her love.” Barty said as he bounced back up, completely unperturbed. 
“Is it now?” Sirius asked, tone dripping with sarcasm. Remus swatted Sirius’ leg with his book.
“What?” Sirius squawked.
“Be nice.” He chided.
“I am nice! And why do you care?” Sirius argued, though he never got an answer. 
“I think they’re cute.” Lily announced, sending a sly smirk towards Remus.
“See? Lily gets it.” Remus said with a shrug as he went back to his book.
Sirius hated every single one of them.
But if Sirius thought that had been rough, he had no idea what was in store for him today. 
Sirius, Remus, Peter, James and... Lily had all been sitting at the Gryffindor table during dinner when Sirius noticed you rushing into the Great Hall looking rather frazzled.
“Whoa, what’s going on with Y/N?” Peter asked, apparently having noticed you at the same time as Sirius.
The conversation stopped abruptly as Remus’ head snapped towards the entrance, seemingly on high alert upon hearing of your arrival.
Sirius watched as you scanned the Hall before your eyes fell on their group. Your face crumpled in misery, and you rushed over. You were usually so polished and poised, any and all emotions locked away behind a well-fitted mask, no wonder you and Regulus got along so well.
Regulus...something must have happened to Regulus. Sirius had a dreadful feeling settle in the pit of his stomach; what could have happened to make you rush up to him looking that alarmed?
Except...you breezed right past him.
“What’s wrong, lovebug?” Remus cooed quietly, causing Sirius to choke on his own spit.
“He was hurt during practice.” You cried quietly, voice no more than a whisper as you moved to step between Remus’ spread legs where he had rotated on the bench to face you. His hands landed on the back of your thighs were his thumbs rubbed soothing circles into your tight clad legs.
“Okay. How hurt?” Remus asked just as quietly, ignoring the sputtering happening from James, the chuckling from Lily, and the horrified expression painting Sirius’ face.
“Dislocated shoulder.” You cried miserably, as if you’d just been told Regulus was damned to spend the rest of his life in a vegetative state.
Remus’s mouth looked like it was fighting really hard to smile as his eyes pooled with equal parts fondness, worry (for you or Regulus, Sirius wasn’t sure at this moment), and no shortage of love.
What the fuck was going on right now!? 
“What the fuck is going on right now!?” Sirius demanded, his outside voice echoing the one inside of his head.
You startled a little at his exclamation, leaning closer into Remus who increased his embrace around you. 
“What’s happening dear padfoot, is it appears your brother has been injured during quidditch practice. Perhaps you ought to go see how he is?” Remus taunted as he continued running soothing hands over your body.
“Yeah, yeah; the sky is blue, and people get hurt in quidditch. Now what is this!?” He screeched gesturing wildly at the two of you. 
You looked equal parts embarrassed from the attention and equal parts wanting to tell Sirius off for downplaying what you clearly thought was some great upheaval in Regulus’ life when Lily spoke up.
“I’m surprised it took you this long to notice, Pads.”
His mouth dropped open as he turned to regard his best friend’s girlfriend with a look of pure betrayal.
“Et tu, Lily!?” Sirius cried as James sputtered, “you knew!?”
Remus just smiled as he shoved his nose into your collarbone. You brought up a hand to begin scratching at his scalp, and Sirius was certain the sods leg would be thumping in contentment if he were a dog.
“Let’s go, Sirius.” Remus finally muttered, interrupting an argument that was going nowhere between James, Lily, and Sirius. “You’ve got a brother in the hospital wing.”
You hurried on ahead of them, clearly not interested in the talk the two friends were about to have.
“So, are you fucking my brother too or just fucking him over by screwing his girl?” Sirius finally spat with his arms crossed petulantly over his chest. 
Remus groaned and looked up at the ceiling, as if praying for strength to get through this conversation with Sirius Drama Queen Black. “Sirius, can you ask me a question that’s less likely to get me punched in the face?”
“No.” Sirius muttered. 
“He’s happy, Sirius. I promise.” Remus pressed. “He...he really deserves all the love he’s getting.”
And Sirius would have been an absolute arse if he’d had anything to say in response to that...
Don’t get him wrong, Sirius was an arse and did have many things to say in response to that, but the words died on the tip of his tongue when they walked into the hospital wing to see you sitting on the end of Regulus’ hospital bed.
Regulus, save the sling holding his arm to his chest and the fact that he was sitting in a hospital bed, looked as casual as Sirius ever remembered seeing him, smiling at you with...
Love.
A lot of love. 
“I’m fine, amour, I promise.” They heard him plead with you as they approached.
“Still have all your limbs, I see.” Remus commented as he walked over and pressed a gentle kiss to Regulus’ hair, causing the youngest Black to blush something fierce as he looked over at Sirius. 
“I’m sure she told you I was comatose.” He commented quietly, turning and offering you a wink.
“Don’t tease me...” You moaned, looking very much like you still wanted to fold Regulus up and put him in your pocket for safe keeping.
“Yeah, don’t tease her, love. You’d be sitting in this hospital bed all on your lonesome with no one you dote on you otherwise.” Remus jokingly chided. 
“Love.” Sirius groaned with a dramatized gag. 
“Oh, grow up, Siri.” Regulus barked.
Sirius’ head snapped over to his brother at the sound of his childhood nickname. Regulus’ cheeks were still dusted pink, whether it be at the unplanned outing of his relationship, being hurt, or the gravity of this moment.
Regulus hadn’t called him that since they were children...like, real children before the trauma, the alienation, the disinheritance, the running away...
Perhaps because Regulus had spent all of that time living in unmeasurable pain. Just like Sirius had.
And maybe, now...Regulus had people who made him feel brave enough to be vulnerable like this, to reconnect in ways he long thought impossible. 
Fuck Moony and his good naturedness; Sirius hated that Remus was right about this. 
“Oh, fucking Godric.” Sirius muttered petulantly as he pulled Regulus into a bone crushing hug.
Literally.
“Sirius!” Regulus groaned before Sirius was ripped away from his brother. Sirius expected Remus to be the one throwing him to the floor for inadvertently hurting Regulus’ injury...but it was you. 
“You idiot.” You hissed as new tears formed in your eyes, immediately moving to grab the ice pack from the bedside table and gently placing it on Regulus’ shoulder.
Remus and Regulus looked at you with so much adoration, Sirius was certain hearts were going to start pouring out of their eyes and floating around their heads.
“I’m fine, thanks!” He called out as he hauled himself up off the floor. 
“Oh good.” You said sarcastically.
“I don’t like this.” Sirius grumbled, causing all three faces to turn to him.
“Pads...”
“Sirius, please.” Regulus implored.  
“What if you break his heart?” He asked no one in particular. “What if you hurt my baby brother? Who am I supposed to support then? Or you; what am I supposed to do if you hurt my best friend? And what if you tossers hurt Y/N!”
The three of you shared a look before his brother turned to him. “Sirius, if we breakup, I give you permission to side with Remus.”
“And if we break up, I promise you can side with Y/N.” Remus added.
“Nope.” You said quickly, “that’s fine, I don’t need to be included in this.”
Sirius groaned out a sigh of relief. “Oh, thank gods. Okay, okay. I guess I'll allow it then....”
“THE THREE OF YOU ARE WHAT!?” Barty screeched as he stood at the door of the infirmary, still in his quidditch kit.
“Do we actually have to have this conversation again?” You groaned quietly.
Remus shot Regulus and extremely guilty look as he slowly stood.
“Remus.” Regulus warned.
Remus grimaced and slowly made his way over to you.
“Remus John Lupin, I swear to Salazar...”
“Regulus, I love you; I do. But...he’s you’re friend an- NOW DOVE” He shouted, and the two of you took off in a sprint out of the infirmary. 
“Quite the catch you’ve got yourself there Regs.” Sirius taunted. 
“Sod off.” Regulus muttered as Barty made his way over to his bedside.
“Don’t mind if I do.” Sirius jeered as he, too, took off out of the infirmary, leaving Regulus Black to deal with the likes of Barty Crouch Junior on his own.  
don't hate me
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yuellii · 6 months
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🪼 HI USER YUELLII OMG I LUV JEALOUSY TROPES MAYBE THAT SAYS... SOMETHING ABOUT MY CHARACTER BUT I LOVEEEE JEALOUSY TROPES. AND WITH NEUVILETTE????? SOEMONE WHO PRIABBLY DOESNT EXPERIENCE JEALOUSY OFTEN IF AT ALL???? im sold. IM SOLD. PULLING OUT MY CREDIT CARD. IWOULD LITERALLY KILL TO READ UR THOUGHTS ON IT
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The Four Stages of Jealousy : THE IUDEX.
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STAGE I. — Identification.
There is a threat, that a person may feel losing someone to someone better than them. "I want what you have, and I hate that you have what I want."
Neuvillette wasn’t quite sure of the sudden twist in his stomach as he stood at your doorstep, a bag of pastries tucked under one of his arms and a box of tea bags carried under his other.
Saturdays, three o’clock sharp in the afternoon held meaning: A time in which he’d arrive at your boutique, treats in hand and a pleasant look on his face. He’d try on one of your hats, maybe, for it was a prime time for tea, taken advantage of by the two of you, alone together every Saturday afternoon. It was an evening of the week where he was most happiest, though that might’ve been only an assumption. But the tranquility he usually felt standing at your doorstep was never one he could ignore.
Unfortunately, said tranquility seemed to be lacking this time around.
What he expected as another nice time alone with you ( especially since it was on your undocumented schedule—but who cared for documents, when he looked forward to this meeting every week? ) was instead being interrupted by a certain someone. Namely, a certain Champion Duelist. And maybe, Neuvillette would not be so bothered, had she not been sitting in his seat.
( Said seat was also unspoken, or ‘undocumented’ between the two of you, but still. He sat there every week—therefore by repeated pattern alone, that antique chair in front of the table should be his. )
( And sure, this might’ve been your boutique’s seating area, where everyone comes to sit during the day; But on Saturdays during tea time, he’d like to think that seat was practically reserved for him. )
“Neuvillette!” you practically gasped, facial expression turning into one of lightened excitement at seeing him. There was a blissful ignorance in your voice—‘ignorant’ in the way he was truly glad you didn’t know he was mentally annoyed at the mere fact his seat was taken. But nevertheless, the tightrope of his heart fluttered at the sound of your voice, which always sounded so enthusiastic every week he came back here. Perhaps you were just excited to see him as much as he was excited to see you—the thought alone brings a shiver to his spine.
He approaches forward with a polite smile of his own when you pat the empty spot adjacent to you on the loveseat. Ah, so the theft of his usual antique chair leaves him to sit beside you. Maybe the uninvited guest was welcomed, now that he thought about it.
“What brings Miss Clorinde with us today?” he finally asked, addressing the most obvious outlier first. When he set the bag of pastries down on the table, he watched as the Duelist eyed it with interest.
Clorinde hummed. “I was here for a small chat, then I was told that Monsieur Neuvillette would be ‘arriving soon’. And here you are.” At the recount of events, Neuvillette noticed how Clorinde threw a playful look at you. This playfulness did not stop, unfortunately for him, when she leaned forward to peek at the paper bag he brought in. “Then I stayed, because I thought: ‘What could the Chief Justice possibly say that’s interesting enough for weekly conversations?’”
You gasped at her teasing insult. “Clorinde!” you scolded with slight laughter. “Monsieur Neuvillette is a great companion for tea conversations! He’s very interesting, indeed, I promise you!”
“Thank you,” Neuvillette coughed through his words. He’s beginning to feel a bit awkward here…
“Oh?” Clorinde piped up again, just before Neuvillette could even get another word out. “There’s a lot of pastries in here, and also a new box of tea?”
“He brings them for us to share every week!” you exclaimed happily, grabbing the bag off the table and kindly distributing a treat to everyone. And that’s when suddenly, Neuvillette wishes he only bought one for the two of you, because he watches as you set down the pieces of Conch Madeleines in front of the Champion Duelist, despite Neuvillette knowing those were your favorites. Meanwhile, instead, you gave him and yourself the remaining other pastries. But surely, you wouldn’t just give up your favorites like that… Unless you favored Clorinde. Ah, but maybe he was overthinking it. “Isn’t he the sweetest?”
Clorinde sends him a casual smirk, likely to tease him. “Sweetest, certainly.”
He wasn’t sure how to respond to any of this at all.
When he eventually had to leave, Clorinde still stayed there to chat with you, and he felt empty walking out of your boutique. Emptier than usual, actually. It was certainly confusing, due to the fact nothing inherently bad happened, and he certainly didn’t want to say Clorinde’s presence bothered him, or anything over-the-top like that.
Hm.
Neuvillette didn’t get to talk to you as much as he wanted to today.
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STAGE II. — Confrontative.
Where negative thoughts start to bloom as "envy." Jealousy begins to indicate love for the person, and the individual is afraid of losing that object of their love.
It’s the following Saturday when he sees you again, and he can’t quite understand why he feels an air of relief upon seeing that Clorinde is not there today.
“Neuvillette!” You greet him with the same smile and same excitement as always, and the rush of paradise courses through his body before he sits across from you in his usual seat: the antique chair right in front of you. He sets down his paper bag of fresh pastries; And upon doing so, he can’t help but smile when he noticed there are only two teacups on the table. One for you, and one for himself. “You seem a little more delighted today”—Was it that obvious?—“What’s gotten you into a good mood, Monsieur?”
He hummed. “Nothing, really.” He actually wasn’t quite sure why he was feeling so joyous today, either, but as long as you were sitting there still smiling at him, then it would all be alright. “It’s just natural, since it’s always my pleasure to spend my Saturday afternoons with you.”
Bring your hand up to cover your mouth, you lightly gasped at his words. “Oh, Monsieur!” you giggled. “I hadn’t known you could be a charmer with your words!”
He liked the reaction you gave him. He thinks he liked the feeling of approval you gave him, but even more. Neuvillette learned rather gradually that you always tended to get a happy sort-of embarrassment from his ‘compliments’. Said ‘compliments’, however, referred to mere truthful facts he’s laid for you. But there’s a certain loveliness that comes with confiding in someone to tell all your truths to, and he’s more than elated that you’re the one he trusts to blabber endlessly to. He just hopes it can stay like this for a long time: Just the two of you, enjoying your Saturday afternoon tea.
“So,” Neuvillette began, watching as you took a bite of the Conch Madeleine he bought specifically for you. He had to catch himself from smiling at you—if his duty was to buy your favorite treat every week, then so be it. “How has your week been since I last saw you?”
Your hand once again flies up to cover your mouth as you quickly finish to chew and swallow the bite before answering him. “It’s been fun, actually! I saw a concert performed by a famous violinist—I believe I might’ve even spotted you in the front row…”
“Ah, yes, that would’ve been me. It was a spectacular performance; I’m happy to know you saw it,” he smiled. Hm, if he knew you were there that night, he certainly would’ve said hello. Your hand moves upwards once more to bring your teacup closer to your lips, and now he’s curious to ask: “And that ring of yours—that’s new, when did you get it?”
“Oh!” After setting the teacup down, you quickly leaned forwards, outstretching your right arm to show off the ring to him at a closer view. “I just got it yesterday, actually. Isn’t it beautiful?”
“It is.” It really dazzles to compliment your eyes. Neuvillette catches himself thinking of little things he’s never thought before. Like the way your hair frames your face perfectly, especially at this angle. Or the way your eyes held this delicate shine he admired so dearly, only now heightened by the sparkle of the ring’s reflection. There’s a new tide of poetry unspoken in the depths of his mind, and they might as well stay locked until he figures out just what this emotion is.
When you offer your hand for him to get a closer inspection of the ring is when his breath seems almost stolen from his lungs. Months and months of these weekly tea meetings, and yet he feels this is the closest proximity he’s ever been to you. Here, in his antique chair in the middle of your boutique shop, holding your hand from across the table.
But he feels a spark that he prays you sense as well, for the mere desire of wanting this moment to last forever is enough to tell him that he is completely in love with you.
He leans down gently to reach closer to your hand, kissing your knuckle so featherlight next to the ring. “And it’s even more beautiful on you,” he mutters to you when he pulls away.
Your heart might’ve skipped a beat when you retracted your hand, but he has no idea—he was too lovestruck just now to even think properly. But you take just a moment to recover whilst he’s still stuck in his little daze; Though, who could blame him when he just discovered the ethereal feeling of falling in love?
“Thank you,” you exhaled with a smile that seemed a little breathless. “Lady Clorinde helped pick it, actually.”
…What?
Well, that was a name he completely forgotten until just now. He cleared his throat, attempting to regain his composure after the sudden whiplash of emotions. From finding out he’s in love, to the pang of unwarranted negativity for the Champion Duelist. As expected, he couldn’t tell what this uncomfortable feeling was, but he certainly did not like it.
“Clorinde was there, you say?” he tried to clarify.
You nodded. A little too happily for his liking. “We went out shopping yesterday.” Oh. “And she said this ring really matched ‘the colors of my personality’, whatever that means!” you wholeheartedly laughed. The way you spoke of her, with all this smiling and all these giggles, was making him crave for something more. Did… Did you perhaps want to see him more outside of these tea times, too? You seem perfectly fine shopping with Clorinde now, after all.
He’s never gotten personal time with you like that. It’s always been solely Saturday afternoons, nothing more. And yet, Clorinde immediately gets invited to your shopping runs, and apparently her opinion is also important enough to make you buy the ring? How unbelievable. Neuvillette bets if he was there instead, he’d buy you every piece of jewelry that you even took so much as slight interest in, because that was what you deserved. But no, here he was, not invited to these outings at all, and further stuck wallowing as your mere ‘tea companion’, and not something more.
The door to the boutique suddenly opens, and the both of you turn your heads to the customer.
But instead of a client, you were met with the face of a slightly-smiling Clorinde, ever so amused to see the both of you here again. Well, she shouldn’t be amused. Neuvillette was here on schedule.
“Ah, you’re here!” you say excitedly, briskly standing up to grab another set of tea; And now, Neuvillette can’t quite tell if you greet everyone at the door with this same excitement, and it’s not just restricted to him alone. He shouldn’t be that selfish, of course, so he thinks perhaps it should just not be directed at Clorinde, specifically.
“Pardon me,” Clorinde announced, making her way to the table after you set the tea display down. “I’ll be intruding on the both of you again.” Neuvillette wishes he had any right to refuse.
This time, now that he’s regained his rightful spot on the antique chair, Clorinde had no choice but to sit… right next to you on the loveseat—the same place Neuvillette sat last week when his spot was stolen. A moment comes forth where he now no longer wants his seat at all ( which he doesn’t understand why, because shouldn’t he be happy his unspoken designated seat is back? ), and prefers the loveseat.
Maybe it was the sight of Clorinde next to you, and the fact she was sitting so much closer than he’d like to imagine. And suddenly, that’s when he realizes he doesn’t like the idea of Clorinde being this close to you at all.
“Oh! You’re wearing the ring I got you!” Clorinde recognizes. She grabbed your right hand to immediately inspect it, and Neuvillette can’t help but feel like someone just shot him. Not only did she comfortably grab your hand like it was nothing ( meanwhile, he had to find both the confidence and the breath to even try to kiss your hand earlier ), but she also got it for you? The little detail you never mentioned: That Clorinde bought you the ring.
Now Neuvillette is internally questioning what exactly this ring means. Is it akin to a proposal? A vow? A promise ring for the future?
The longer he stays here the more insane he may be driven, he thinks.
“Sorry to cut my time here short, but I think I have to get going,” he spoke up. Both Clorinde and you looked over at him, and he figured this was a good idea—he doesn’t think he can handle another tea session where the two of you are happily talking as he sits there awkwardly quiet. “I’ll be off, now.”
“Already?” you frowned at him, and that expression almost makes him want to stay. But the sight of Clorinde still absentmindedly toying with your hand sends him into a spiral of emotions he needs to sort out. He’s already stood up to leave without realizing it.
“Unfortunately so,” he says. He might’ve sounded colder than he meant to. It was clear in your face you knew something was wrong, but didn’t want to say it out of privacy. But when he walked towards the door, hearing Clorinde continue your conversation on like normal, it was fruitless to even consider it.
He opened the door. It was raining.
It feels like he was losing your love before he could even have it.
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STAGE III. — Redirecting.
Where pleasure is derived from hurting others, stemmed from unconscious feelings of envy. The envy can come in a so-called as a form of competitive implication.
The next time he saw you was around the market area in the morning, wandering the streets like a normal citizen on this wavering Wednesday.
Normally, he would have just smiled and waved at most, but this time, something compelled him to walk up and join you. “Is this where to find you on Wednesday mornings?” he asked curiously, catching your starling attention and watching as your lips curved to a smile when you recognized him.
“It is, Monsieur.” When you stepped ever-so closer to him, a mere basket around your arm being the only thing between you, he felt as if his feet had turned into bubbles, and there was a flutter of heaven around his shoulders. “My weekly groceries are scheduled for today, however I don’t recall ever seeing you on this side of the city, if that isn’t just my ignorance.”
He chuckled, “I’m usually at my office by this time, so you would be correct.” Then his arm slid against yours, taking the wooden basket out of your hands and walking a few steps forward down the market street you shopped at. “But I’m open to a change of pace, so might I join you on this lovely morning?”
The little smile of contentment you gave him when you answered “Of course” made his heart skip a beat. And when you walked forward to hook your arm around his free one, he swears to the sovereign he might simply dissolve right then and there. The closeness of your presence to him now makes his heart race in a way he feels it drumming in his chest, a feeling that is so human that it makes him almost taste the fruit of mortality. You, walking along with him as you hold onto his arm whilst he carries your grocery basket—you look like romantic partners, and he can’t help but feel sort of lightheaded at the mere thought of that.
“Ah, look!” you pointed, and Neuvillette allowed himself to be guided by the arm to a nearby vendor. “They’re selling slices of apricot pie.”
“You fancy these desserts as well?” he mused, already fishing his pockets for his wallet. “Perhaps we should purchase a slice or two and save them for our weekend tea session.”
You agreed, “I thought the same.” Then you noticed his shuffling and playfully waved off his hand, insisting he needn’t pay. “But I fear it might spoil by the time Saturday comes.”
“You want a bite of mine?” And that’s when Neuvillette wasn’t even surprised anymore to hear the voice of the Champion Duelist appearing out of nowhere. He has such horrible luck running into her, that he’s now just accepted it at this point ( or, for better words: he still has yet to accept the fact that maybe Clorinde was specifically seeking you ). She stood there, leaned against a pole with an easy-going expression and a fork in one of her hands, carrying an aluminum tin with the exact same apricot pie you were just eyeing.
You gasp at her appearance, “Sure!” Neuvillette doesn’t even have a moment to process the mere seconds it takes for you to slip away from his arm, leaving him to follow behind as you skip over to Clorinde. The uninvited guest takes it upon herself to feed you a bite with her fork—it was at this time that the Iudex began to feel like an outlier once again.
“We were actually about to buy a few slices ourselves,” Neuvillette piped in. He did it quickly, perhaps it was instinct so he wouldn’t be left out of the conversation again. “But an excellent point was brought up, that the dessert might spoil by the time we reach Saturday afternoon.”
“Why don’t you just buy one and eat it now?” Clorinde shrugged. Ah. Neuvillette internally scolded himself; He should’ve thought of that. And when you waved off her suggestion dismissively, claiming it was fine now that she let you try it, Neuvillette realized he completely missed an opportunity to have dessert with you on a Wednesday instead of a Saturday. That while he was still a man you only saw once at the end of each week, you’d be seeing Clorinde multiple times throughout it.
He wasn’t fond of the way Clorinde was still feeding you more bites of pie, either.
“Miss Clorinde,” he addressed. If only he had more of a grasp of human sociability, then he might’ve realized how firm his voice sounded in this situation that was… not so serious. “Shouldn’t you be alongside Furina at this time of day?”
“On a typical day, yes,” she answered simply. “And shouldn’t you be in your office?”
He almost glared. “No, actually, I’ve given myself the time to roam around today.”
“Oh wowww,” she teased, though Neuvillette might’ve heard it as something mocking. “Lady Furina would be pleased to hear that. Instead of being cooped up in your office or the Opera Epiclese all morning long, you’re out here at the market, even holding a basket for shopping.”
The Iudex cleared his throat. “Well, I’ll have you know that this basket isn’t mine.” There was an air of competitiveness in his voice, one that almost had him biting his tongue in surprise of himself. Because it was simply just as he said: a basket. But the fact it belonged to you, and the fact that he was carrying it for you—suddenly he wanted to boast it and show it off to the world, especially to Clorinde’s face. “The two of us are shopping together this morning, if you’ll excuse us.” His next move might’ve been bold, but the feeling of possessiveness was so airtight and he had no choice but to hook his own arm around yours once more, getting ready to turn and leave.
“So cold,” Clorinde rolled her eyes. ‘Cold’ was a word often used to describe him, but no, not here. He did not want to appear that way in front of you. “Is this really the attitude you want to spend all morning with?” she asked, this time directed at you.
Something in him snapped. There was an emotion that clouded his head far angrier than annoyance, and it sprouted from the way in which she made him look bad, like the stone-cold Chief Justice everyone thought him to be. Albeit with you, he was trying to be everything but that. Emotional, vulnerable, heartfelt, human—Clorinde was not going to take that away from him.
‘Is this really the attitude you want to spend all morning with?’ The question kept playing in his mind, as if she was any better than him? She, who most people also saw as stoic, should not be seen by you in a better light than him. She, who did not know your favorite desserts like he did, who did not make time for you like he did, who did not fancy you as much as he did—
He felt you tug at his arm, snapping him from his thoughts.
Your eyes held the same, worried look you gave him on Saturday when he left so abruptly. So jealously.
Neuvillette cleared his throat once more. “It seems you are correct, Miss Clorinde.” There was solemness in his voice. Yet he was so quiet as he unlocked his arm from around yours, and handed your basket to Clorinde. “My attitude proves to be too unfavorable for the likes of this lovely morning, I thank you for bringing it to my attention.” These emotions were too much right now; he was starting to fear them. “My deepest apologies to you both, I’ll be heading back to the Palais Mermonia now.”
He bowed his head as diplomatically as he could manage, but the skies were already darkening.
“I bid you both a fine rest of your morning.”
“Wait, Neuvillette!”
Your call was drowned by the deafening drums of his hammering heartbeat, and the patters of light rainfall from the somber sky.
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STAGE IV. — Medea.
At this stage, the grip of envy appears almost irreversible. There is a hatred towards others that dominates their thinking, and happiness or success is no longer foreseen.
Saturday afternoon.
He couldn’t see you again, even if it was time for your weekly meeting, not when he was feeling like this.
Not when the sky was pouring from the mere thought of you, and how he’s probably already lost. It was inevitable for a man like him, and he should’ve realized so earlier. Three o’clock, and you were already probably sipping away with Clorinde at your side, pastries on the table and a dazzling ring on your finger. She was much more human than him, after all, and such a shortcoming became his eventual downfall.
The Palais Mermonia was quiet, though that might’ve been due to the endless rain that’s been pouring since Wednesday morning.
While it was nice, he couldn’t help but feel the silence only amplified his feeling of loneliness in this moment. Especially at this time: a time of the week in which he looked most forward to.
“Monsieur Neuvillette?” a Melusine knocked from right outside his door. “You have a visitor!”
And before he could even reply, that was when you ignored all formalities, all proper respect as you pushed your way through the door and into his office. The surge of panic he felt from your sudden presence was unrivaled to the way you made haste in getting seated in front of his office table, setting down your handful—said handful consisting of two teacups, and a bag of pastries.
His heart practically shattered. The familiar cups and bag of treats on the table, the way your hair and clothes were lightly damp from the rain—you made the effort, coming all the way here just to see him. Just so the both of you wouldn’t miss a single Saturday afternoon together.
“I believe you might’ve forgotten our schedule, good Monsieur.” A light scolding, yet partnered with the most comforting smile you’ve ever given him, and he starts to feel his hands tremble. “You seem surprised to see me,” you commented further, filling in the silence as he has yet to utter even a word. “Did you really think I’d just let you ditch me like that?”
It was hard to breathe, hard to find his voice when you were so patient with him. “Sorry.” It’s all he can mutter now, this blistering swell of emotions causing a waver in his voice. “I’m so, very sorry.”
“Don’t be,” you chuckled at him. His body tensed when you reached forward to grab one of his hands. But you felt cold just like the chilling rain outdoors, and now he worries you might catch a fever because of him. “I’ve been meaning to ask you what was wrong, but…” Your eyes drooped with a certain sorrow in their crevices, and Neuvillette found himself slightly squeezing your hands. “I couldn’t seem to find a good moment alone with you.”
He shook his head at you, whispering, “I don’t even know what’s wrong, myself…”
You frowned. This atmosphere was suffocating and just from one glance upwards at your face, Neuvillette could easily tell you were holding back something to say. Granted, it was his fault. He’s the one who’s here, sitting and sulking in his office with little to no explanation. He’s the one who’s kept you worried this past week from leaving so abruptly two different times now. If anything, he might understand how to be a human even less after this ordeal.
“Would you be so kind…” he starts, words like lumps in his throat, “to allow me to be honest? To let me ramble whatever nonsense I’m feeling for just a moment, so that maybe you can make some sense of it all?”
You gave his hands a comforting squeeze. “Of course.”
There’s a certain phrase caught dead in his tongue. And he’s never been afraid to speak his mind before, yet suddenly, your judgment of his feelings mattered much more than the truth of his words. But he was feeling so much, and if this was really the emotional baggage humans had to carry all the time, he could only wonder how most people have yet to burst from the hauntings of their own mind.
Or more accurately so—the hauntings of their own love.
These words were doomed to come spilling out. “You’ve bewildered me with mountains of emotions,” he rambles quicker than he thinks. “All from the sleight of your hand, I best believe I’ve fallen in love with you.”
He forces himself to ignore how your eyes widen in that moment, or how the grip from your hands suddenly loosens from the shock that rings through his confession. He doesn’t have a way with words, and he knows this. So in a hasty attempt to piece together a board of emotional exposure his mind cannot even comprehend, he does the only thing he knows how to: talk and talk, until he has no more truth to confess to you.
“But the feelings that came alongside my love,” he began to you, “are unexplainable.” As his voice ended in coarseness, there was such an hopeless look of utter confusion you had never seen on his face before, like he was silently pleading for you to help a poor soul like his own. “The beating of my heart when I see you… A stark contrast to the tightness in my stomach I feel… When Miss Clorinde joins us.” The ending of his sentence dropped to nearly a whisper, like he expected it to be sin. “But what I just don’t understand, is why,” the section of his brows furrow in distress, “because she’s my coworker, and I do not dislike her, but I feel as if I cannot stand her when she joins us…”
You listen quietly. He doesn’t know whether to be thankful or fearful whilst awaiting your reaction.
He continued, “But when she sat with us for tea, and bought you that ring, and joined us at the market…” This confession; It was arguably harder than confessing his love to you. Because Clorinde was your friend—maybe even closer, if he was so unlucky—and he might’ve crossed a line here he didn’t even know existed. “I felt like I hated her,” he finished.
You were still silent, though it wasn’t like he could see your expression anyways. He refused to even look up to it, choosing instead to stare down at your joined hands.
But this silence was deafening. Please, just reject him already. He let out the most exhausted sigh he has ever before, the weight of these human emotions bearing down on him. “So I was just…”
“Just jealous,” you finished for him, and he noticed in your voice how you were almost laughing quietly to yourself. The emotion you just named—he didn’t know how envy even felt like, much less jealousy ( though, he supposes he knows now ). “Neuvillette, you should’ve just told me you felt uncomfortable with Clorinde there.”
“Hm?” He was confused. So confused, that his eyes finally darted up to meet your own. And there you stood, most comforting of smiles on your face as your thumb began to trace patterns on the back of his hand.
You reassured him, “Those are times we spend together, dedicated to the both of our comforts.” Which was true, but he was ready to argue that he felt selfish that way—and that you wouldn’t love nor deserve a selfish man. “I trust you to tell me when you feel things are unfavorable,” you continued, “and I promise you, Clorinde would understand if I told her.”
“But,” he piped up, so much doubt in his eyes as if struggling to believe your words, “is she not important to you?” And now, he could not comprehend the bashfulness that raised blood to his cheeks, or the complete disbelief that you’d wave off the Champion Duelist just because of his silly discomfort. Human relationships; He feared he may never understand them.
“Of course she’s important to me—she’s my friend!” you lightly laughed. “But you’re important to me, as well. Please understand that.” His heart might’ve stopped for just a moment. “And when we have our scheduled times alone together, the last thing I want to have is you feeling uneasy when we’re supposed to be relaxing.” Your words, the kindness you shed—it was all so confusing yet so welcoming at the same time, that he feels it’s only a matter of seconds until he drowns from the sound of your voice. To feel such comfort in a person was bizarre to him, but it’s a feeling that makes him crave your presence all the same.
His eyes fell to another slight frown, voice quieter as if losing the will to argue. “But… I should not have the right to impede on a relationship significant to you…”
Now it was your turn to look baffled. The way he worded it. Oh, surely he didn’t— “Monsieur, do you think Clorinde and I are a couple?”
“Well, I certainly thought you two were getting to that state in your relationship,” Neuvillette answered truthfully, voice flowing without hesitation as if it was the most obvious fact in the world. The man who just confessed his love for you only moments ago was fully convinced you felt romance for another woman. “Hence why I was…” He turned his head to the side, shyly clearing his throat. “Envious…”
You practically burst out into giggles. In fact, one of your hands even let go of his grip just so you could cover your mouth to laugh. “Oh… Oh, Neuvillette, surely you jest!” you attempted to name whilst controlling your laughter. The Iudex was shell-shocked into pure silence, wondering what he could’ve possibly said to make you react this way, because as far as he knew, he was not making a joke. “Clorinde is only a friend to me,” you clarified. “Nothing more.”
He remains silent, but there’s a sweeping wave of new emotions that suddenly flood his shoulders.
“And if she sees me as anything more, then, well,” you continued, glancing up outside and then back down to meet his awaiting eyes. “Unfortunately for her, the love in my heart has already been captured by another.”
“By whom?” The lack of hesitation from his immediate question has more giggles escaping your lips. He looks at you, and your face tells him it’s an obvious question with an obvious answer, and yet he still cannot comprehend this even when you squeeze both his hands in yours once more.
“Who do you think, Monsieur?” And yet even after his face flushes red, he still has a focused look of anticipation on his face—it’s as if he absolutely will not believe it until you spell it directly to his face. “Neuvillette,” you sighed, but there was an air of gentleness in the way you say his name that relaxed his soul. “It’s always been you.”
The rain continued on.
But now the sun shined between each droplet, because if he could cry from happiness right now, he was sure you’d already be busy wiping his tears away. And this sunny rain continued on and on, even as he poured you tea, even when he bit into the pastries you bought, and even when he looked at you fondly across his desk, not a single doubt of your love.
And as for Clorinde, well, he might need a few more days to recover before he can forgive her for all the sporadic heart attacks she’s almost given him.
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splatoonmaster69 · 2 years
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#vent tw#on one hand finding anything i can 'relate' to is yummy.#on the other its like. im not that fucked up. like its enough to be noticable but its not enough to deserve to get fixed#broken cup is repaired but chipped cup is left chipped or whatever doesnt matter#+ like idk maybe ive desensitized myself or whatever but some of these things just do not seem like as big a deal as everyone makes them#like yeah the world would be better off if i were gone but everyone thinks that. like literally#i mean probably not everyone everyone but not wanting to die is something the normal kids with rich families that care get you know#that makes me sound worse than i am#not eanting to die is for those kids that play sports and have all A+ and 2 parents that love them and can buy tutors and other help#see that sounds much less bad. thats like the ideal dream scenario. and some people have the ideal dream scenario but most dont#and all the kids that dont have to think about how theyre a drain on resources or too dumb to be worth teaching or a burden on their family#and thats not the fualt of the kids but its jsut what happens you know. just how it works.#so idk why its always such a big deal in fiction when a character wants to die because everyone wants to die a little bit#as said not everyone everyone but you know. im normal here#like yeah its a big problem if someone tries to actually do it but its whatever if they dont.#like i tried but it was with pills and im not gonna say other ppl who use them are babies but i was doing it in a baby way#if i just jumped off thr bridge like i always thought then id think im worse than i am see#i took pills cuz i thought they wouldnt hurt so bad or when they did id be asleep#problem is if youve got that kinda coward mentality about how you die then ur never gonna really go thru with it#and i was only in the hospital for a few days so its like it wasnt even real. they couldnt even see thru the big fat lie i told so#but yeah so idk i dont get the big deal tbh. like yes people who wanna die should get help but everyone wants to so#this isnt saying other peoples feelings arent valid i get why its a big deal to people#i just dont think its a big deal for me u know. but thats probably because i dont have problems anyways so its just normal see?#like if it were a big deal 4 me my therapist would push it more and ppl would notice better and stuff#like i know im not loud about it but idk im not loud about it cuz its not a big deal. it literally doesnt matter to me#i wanna die but nobody expects me to do anything about it and i wont do anyrhing about it again unless i feel really bad again#its just like a little fantasy to keep in my head when i feel like and thats normal so its not a big deal#i checked out a couple books from the library that are supposed to be about suicide attempts and stuff#i was gonna read them just to see what mightve happened if id gone farther like i shouldve or if i hadnt lied or something#but then the guy in the first book was like. actually smart and stuff but also he just. walked to the hospital and checked himself in!
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sunkissed-zegras · 4 days
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𝐆𝐈𝐑𝐋𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃 ─ PB⁵
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౨ৎ ─ summary | paigey being your girlfriend - a list of relationship "headcanons"
─ warnings | in a bullet-point formatting, i hope you guys like it! fluff (lmk if yall want nsfw ones bc i can provide), paige being DOWN BAD, social media tingz, maybe alluding to being outed but not really, some angst but you can skip over it, paigey being protective (duh), nothing else?
─ taglist | @xocherishxo @iienstein @yazmunson and here's a link to my taglist if anyone would like to join!!
─ ev's notes | THIS IS SUCH LONG MESS BECAUSE I'M HAVING PAIGE BRAINROT RN, but i hope y'all enjoy nonetheless LOL being in my paige era i've read so many of these and i'm sure you guys have as well, so i'm making this as unique (or descriptive) as i possibly can to make it because it's more fun to read (and write cus im a sucker for details)
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PRE-RELATIONSHIP STUFF
when you guys first started dating, i feel like paige would be kind of secretive about it
maybe secretive isn't the right word but very... private but not secret type of vibe (at least irl)
not because she doesn't want to show you off, because believe me, she wants to (she's a bragger what can i say)
but just because she wants to keep you all to herself for a while
she knows that as soon as people find out about it, everyone will be talking about it and making assumptions and she just wants to keep you to herself
at least for a couple months
she doesn't care about the public's opinions but she wants to make sure that y'all are LOCKED IN before she makes it public on social media
but it's clear to paige that y'all are very much locked in after the first couple weeks
she's not new to relationships and she's had her fair share but she can tell that it's different now
so the whole "not sure if i wanna hard/soft launch her cus what if we're not a long term" sentiment turns into "i wanna keep this special thing to myself ONLY for at least a couple months"
and of course the entire team knows paige is down bad for you, they've never ever seen her this WHIPPED
because paige seems like she'd be nonchalant and SHE IS... for people she doesn't give a fuck about
so when she likes someone, she LIKES someone
she is extra what can i say
they tease her about it and in any other situation, she would be annoyed but she loooooooves it because it's like "yeah i'm in the best most awesome relationship with the cutest sweetest and kindest girl in the PLANET"
you and paige would've definitely known of each other since freshman year but like... she's kinda intimidating so you sorta tried to steer clear of her
you were really close with some of the girls on the team, specifically azzi so you saw paige kind of a lot
but sophomore year, azzi kind of pushed you guys to be close and since she knows you guys so well, IT WORKED!
you guys clicked so quick and that doesn't happen a lot with paige, it takes a lot to earn her friendship
but you practically ripped down all her walls within like an hour of talking to her
definitely the first one to catch feelings
at least... to her ;)
very much friends to lovers trope with lots of sexual tension cus who doesn't love that?
i feel like after 3 months of being really close friends, you guys would spend like a shit ton of time together
you guys were ALWAYS together
she even tried to convince you to come to practice with her but you said no cus... what the heck
everyone knows... EVERYONE knows that paige likes you
and it kind of becomes like cemented (for paige at least) after she realized you were her literal COMFORT PERSON
like after every terrible, long practice or after losing games all she wants to do is be AROUND YOU so she could forget about everything
especially when she gets injured, she's such a wreck and the only person who made her feel better was you
it wasn't even what you said or what you did, it was simply just you
and after going through such a bad time with you, she realized that she liked you and she can't keep pretending
and she asked you (yaya!) and you said yes cus you liked her back (yaya!) and everything is just YAYA
so it's safe to say she knows she's found her soulmate within a month of knowing you
but she doesn't wanna seem like she's love-bombing you or whatever so she pretended to be nonchalant
which of course FAILS because she's down bad
so she tells you she loves you within like a month of dating
i KNOW it seems bad but you guys both felt it because of the whole injury and spending every moment together
when you know, you know vibes
she told you she loved you after you were there for her through some of the worst times of her life and you said it back of course and it's all cutesy
paige's love language is TOTALLY quality time and touch
even before you were dating, she just liked having her hands on you whether it was like holding your hand while walking through a crowd, or braiding your hair, or putting her head on top of yours or something as simple as just HUGGING you
but she kept it cordial of course cus y'all weren't dating
yeah that was all thrown out the window as soon you became her girlfriend
hands on you at ALL times, it becomes so subconscious neither of you even know you're doing it anymore
so remember that whole secret relationship thing?
well... everyone kind of figures it out online after like 3 months of dating
it was because of paige, poor girl couldn't keep her hands and lips off of you after a particularly hard game and somehow 🤨🤨someone gets a picture and it was all over twitter and tiktok the next day
literally "paige bueckers girlfriend" trending after an hour of getting posted
but neither of you cared too much about it because A. it was totally worth it cus the kiss was 😫😫😫 and B. she finally doesn't have to turn off her girlfriend mode when she's with you at games
cus she has the prettiest and best gf in the world and she wants everyone to know that
the only reason she was slightly annoyed was because she couldn't hard launch you on instagram :( poor girl had potential captions in her notes :( cus she's our little drama queen:(
but that doesn't stop her cus she ends up doing it! (shameless plug right there hehehe)
now that she can freely touch you and just be herself finally, she literally doesn't GAFFF
of course nothing like over the top because sure she loves PDA to a certain extent and she's an athlete so she needs to keep it civil
RELATIONSHIP STUFF
we've already covered how paige is a physical touch and quality time girly
and paige loves spending literally all her free time with you because you just recharge her
but it isn't in like an overwhelming way
paige understand that sometimes you need quiet time (or vice versa) but the thing is she doesn't even need you to talk just being around you is enough
so idk if it's necessarily QUALITY time but just being around you and spending every free second she has with you tells you that she is in love with you
paige is the most protective person IN THE WORLD, not just with you like in general
it doesn't even have to be someone she knows, if she sees someone giving someone else a hard time SHE WILL STEP IN!
and with her friends, y'all have seen her... she does not back down and will literally murder anyone who comes for the people she cares about
so if that's with people she doesn't know, and her friends, you guys can imagine how crazy she gets over you
if somebody says something even slightly consendecing or mean, slap. someone looks at you the wrong way? slap. somebody breaths wrong around you, slap.
obviously she won't lay a hand on them first but likeeee would she back down, nope
she is actually your guardian angel
like at parties, her hand is always on you and she never ever leaves your side
you need to get a drink, she's coming to
if you need to pee? she'll wait in the bathroom for you
yeah don't expect her to leave your side
because even when she IS by your side, there is always a weirdo in your guys' ear trying to get with one (or both!) of you
but yeah she's not afraid to defend you when it comes to literally anything
and this doesn't only apply to strangers, if there is someone that you know (your friend, her friend, etc) she WILL stand by you and defend you
like she doesn't shy away from confrontation, she will say something but only if you want her to
and GOD HELP THEM if you shed a single tear, cus the next morning you bet she's saying something
like i said, paige is a confrontational person and that means she's the biggest communicator
if she has a problem, she will tell you so that you guys can fix it
but sometimes she can come off a little argumentative and like she's just attacking you
she uses a lot of "you" statements so it seems like she's pushing the blame all on to you
so that can be the root of a lot of your guys' arguments when paige is only trying to solve the issues
but of course paige doesn't back down so she will be arguing with you even if she doesn't even know why, she just hates being wrong
but she doesn't let you leave or go to sleep unless the problem is fixed (or at least on the road to being fixed)
she'll give you space, she'll go another room to take a breather but she will not let you leave until it is fixed
usually after the breather you guys can come to an agreement and then paige usually hugs all the anger outta you
cus who could resist her?
if the argument lasts a couple days (it usually doesn't unless it's something serious) paige will talk it out with her mom or her friends
and you'll usually do the same
and paige will force you to sit down and talk about it until it is FIXED because she hates not being able to talk to you
and when you guys do eventually talk about it, especially if it's a serious topic, it will end with tears with both parties
but you guys always make up and everything will be better
okay okay no more angst ... for now hehehe
i feel like paige's nervous tic would be braiding the ends of her hair so i feel like that would transfer to YOU somehow
she just likes braiding your hair!!!!!! or just running her hands through your hair, it would help her relax
and if you're like me, it will help you relax as well
if you're black/have braids, she would only touch your hair if you let her!
paigey takes pictures OF EVERYTHING so obviously that includes you
her camera roll consists of ONLY you atp, like... 20% pics of literally anything else, and the rest would just be pictures of you or something to do with you
and oh my gosh don't get me started on the damn .5's of you, some of them are HORRENDOUSSSS and paige uses them as reaction pictures sometimes
and you found out from azzi that she does indeed use them in the girls groupchat
but she argues that you just look adorable which you respectfully disagree
oh and don't get me started on her tiktok drafts, she has at least 1,000 (rip her storage)
and when y'all started dating she just makes cute relationship tiktoks but she never posts them
EXPECT the "you're spinning me around, my feet are off the ground one" cus she wants to prove to the world that she has muscles
and the tiktok girlies will cry but WHO CARES!
oh and if you're on the basketball team, they will started to fan-girl over you as well
HELLA TIKTOK EDITS
and paige will favorite, repost and comment on them
like the most down-bad, insane comments you can think of
"GET THE STRAP GET THE STRAP!" is one of many ✨✨
if you aren't on the team, trust the tiktok girlies will find a way and they will make edits of you
and paige will do the same
obviously you do the same for her, your favorites are just paige edits atp (mine too)
ESPECIALLY THE GET IT SEXY ONE OMLL
and everyone will make ship edits and cutesy things like
"omg the way paige looks at her" and like a slideshow of paige being like all 😍😍😍
after paige gets more comfortable with like the media knowing about you two, she posts you every five seconds
usually like stories and stuff and especially if you’re also a basketball player, she reposts ALL your stuff
she is a proud gf !!!
she also has a highlight FOR SURE, she loves
also she def has like 10 diff wallpapers of you and her, some are really cute and some are really… 🫣
also paige strikes me as the type to like be texting you ALL DAY
and girl doesn’t care if you reply, she will send you 8 consecutive messages of different things
“omg look at the group chat 😂 *insert screeshot*” “baby they ran out of fucking caramel at dunkin, how does that happen ?” “i ended up going to a local cafe why did this shit cost me 9$” “baby you’re coming to my game on saturday right?” “HAHA look at this meme 😂” “why haven’t you responded to my tiktok’s in 2 days?”
yes she 100% uses the laughing with tears emoji argue with the WALL
or skull emoji
she also sends you 20 minute snapchat vlogs and they’re so chaotic, especially when she’s at practice or something
kk will steal her phone and say hi then you’ll hear them play fighting for like 80% of the vlog
also she does grwm’s on snapchat too when she’s at away games and her morning voice is SOOOO SEXY CUTE
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↳ make sure to check out my navigation or masterlist if you enjoyed! any interaction is greatly appreciated !
↳ thank you for reading all the way through, as always ♡
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demonpiratehuntress · 4 months
Text
baby (name)! (Mihawk, Buggy, Shanks, Brook, Chopper)
featuring - Dracule Mihawk x F!Reader, Buggy x F!Reader, Shanks x F!Reader, Brook x F!Reader, Chopper x F!Reader
summary - you somehow get turned into a baby and they have to spend 24 hours babysitting you
warnings - my first time writing for ALL of these characters, so i'm sorry if i get their characters wrong! im only 416 episodes into the anime. i tried my best!
a/n - this was requested by @faioula16, i hope you like it!
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MIHAWK
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This could honestly go either way. This guy is unpredictable and even you never know what his next move will be. But you're his faithful and loving girlfriend, so there are some exceptions when it comes to you. Like when some deranged devil fruit user turns you into a baby, and Mihawk could have had someone else take care of you, but he wanted to do it himself. He was curious, now that it was you who was an infant.
But that may also be because a witness to the scene had expressed fear for infant you, saying that Mihawk was too cold and ruthless to take care of a baby. He didn't need to prove otherwise, and he didn't want to, but something just gnawed at him. Protectiveness, maybe. You were in such a vulnerable state right now, only he could protect you and care for you.
It had absolutely nothing to do at all with the fact that you looked so adorable staring at him with your big (eye colour) eyes, reaching out to tap his because the strange colour fascinated you. No, it had nothing to do with how cute your excited squeal was every time he picked you up or looked at you. He was absolutely not entranced by your cute little smile or how you clung to him with little hands that could barely hold his one finger. Absolutely not.
Mihawk is actually a pretty good babysitter. But only for you. He will sit and read to you with you on his lap, trying not to smile when you giggle and smack the book, always catching you when you lunged forward excitedly and almost fell off his lap. He will never finish the story, but he reads to you anyway because you seem to like it...for a little while.
"(Name), no!"
He almost had a heart attack when he set you down for one second to put the book away, and you almost fell off the table because you were trying to crawl to him. Your eyes filled with tears when he yelled, even if he hadn't meant to sound angry. His gaze softened, and he picked up and cradled you against his chest, pressing a gentle kiss to your temple.
"It's alright, I won't hurt you. You're fine, little one."
And then you really are fine, your little body comforted by his actions and words. They lull you into sleep, and soon you rest on his shoulder and fall into a deep sleep, gripping his shirt collar tightly in your tiny fist.
"Sleep well, (Name)."
When you awake, in your usual adult form, you're too nervous to suggest it, but thankfully Mihawk is thinking the same thing.
"I think I'd like a little you or me to keep me company."
BUGGY
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Buggy is horrible with children. I mean he's not great with people, but he is absolutely, terrifyingly not good with kids at all. So when you were somehow turned into a tiny human being who could barely stand on two legs, he was shocked. And slightly scared, though he would never admit it. You were the only person he genuinely liked, so he tried not to be too...rough, with your little form. Picking you up was as far as he got, but even then he held you out awkwardly like a football.
And then you squealed and happily reached for his nose, the bright red circular appendage attracting your attention instantly. Now, Buggy was sensitive about his nose, but he let you touch it. A testament to how much he liked you. And, if he were being honest, you were actually kind of cute squeezing his nose like that until he couldn't breath-
Exhale out the mouth.
When he remembered he could use his mouth to breathe, he smiled a little at how much you were enjoying yourself playing with his nose. You even touched his makeup and all his markings, out of curiosity. Your eyes were bright with confusion but also fascination, and it did something weird to Buggy. Made him feel...warm inside?
Then he decided to, experimentally, see what your reaction to his devil fruit would be in this tiny form. He set you down on the floor again, and then detached his hand. Your eyes went wide and you instantly covered your eyes with your small hands, your bottom lip trembling. He panicked, tripping over himself and falling into a tangled heap in front of you. You peeked between your fingers to see this, then burst out into cute laughter. Buggy almost glared at you, but then remembered you were just a baby and instead picked himself up and smiled - or rather tried his best not to smile like a maniac - at you.
Then you saw his floating hand, and grabbed it.
"No no, (Name), that's not-"
You stuck his fingers in your mouth, and he groaned. You just giggled innocently, and only then did he realise his devil fruit could be a source of entertainment for you. He detached multiple limbs and floated them around, watching as you squealed in glee and crawled around trying to catch them.
Were you actually having fun because of him?
When he finally put his body back together again, you pouted but crawled up to his leg and hugged it, gurgling happily as if to thank him. He was stunned. He slowly picked you up and you offered him a toothless smile, before yawning. Still unsure, he laid you on his shoulder and awkwardly patted your back, but that seemed to work because you slowly fell asleep.
When you woke up again, finally an adult, you grinned at him, "Shall we make you a father?"
SHANKS
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It was his fault, really. He picked the fight, contrary to his usual behaviour. But that guy had said something about you, and he couldn't ignore it, so of course he acted. And now here you were, a tiny baby fisting his shirt in your tiny hand and looking up at him with big, curious (eye colour) eyes. He had experience with children, of course, having spent some time with Luffy. But you were so small, so delicate.
"Captain, what-"
He ignored the confused questions from his crew as he brought you back on board the ship, immediately taking you to his quarters. It shouldn't last long, he reminded himself, but he still felt guilty. Though that quickly disappeared when you giggled and crawled around his quarters, knocking things over and hiding with a loud giggle when he caught you.
"Oi, (Name)!" He tried to sound stern, he really did, but his laugh have his mood away. You stuck your head out from under his bed and stuck your tiny tongue out at him, and he burst out laughing. "Oh, you're cute, sweetheart."
He lifted you up again and you squealed excitedly and reached for his hair, the bright colour attracting your attention. He grinned and put you on his head, keeping his hands on your small waist, and soon felt you tug on his red strands. You were giggling and pulling and kicking your legs happily, so he endured the pain just for your sake. It was very cute how you thought his hair was a toy, and by the time you got tired of it, it was a mess. Strands were everywhere, out of place, sticking out...but it didn't matter to him.
Because now you were looking at him with your big, innocent eyes and suckling on your hand as he cradled you against his chest. He gently rubbed your back and pressed a soft kiss to your tiny tuft of (hair colour) hair.
"You're so pretty even as a baby, (Name)."
You rewarded him with a sloppy kiss on his cheek, making him laugh. He sat on his bed with you still in his arms, watching as you grew tired and offered him the cutest sight - the tiniest of yawns.
"Sleep, little one."
He gently rocked you to sleep, reassuringly and soothingly patting your small back as you drifted off on his shoulder. He felt warm inside, as if a small fire had been lit inside him. He knew what it was.
And when you woke up in adult form, he grinned at you, "Let me give you a baby, sweetheart."
BROOK
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Brook has experience with babies. Maybe not human babies, but babies nonetheless. He knows a human baby is very different to a whale baby, but he figures that there can be similarities too. Such as entertainment, which is his area of expertise. So when he looks down at his feet to see baby you tugging on his pants, he is somewhat prepared. He has no idea how you were turned into a baby, of course, but he's not complaining because you are so, so adorable.
"What happened to (Name)?" Franky asked the skeleton, raising an eyebrow.
"Nothing important!" Was Brook's gleeful reply, followed by a laugh when you somehow crawled on top of his afro and knocked his hat off so you could take its place.
"Nothing imp-" Franky sighed. "Do you even know how to look after a baby?" Franky's eyes worriedly drifted to where you sat upon the skeleton's head, tugging on his afro and squealing with delight. You wobbled precariously.
"No, but it can't be any different to a baby whale!"
Franky would have commented on that, if you hadn't slipped off Brook's head. The cyborg easily caught you, before holding you out to Brook, "Don't let her sit on your head."
"Noted."
For the rest of the day, Brook occupied you by sitting you down on his bed and playing music for you, telling you stories about Laboon and his crew, and about his experiences in the Grand Line before you guys found him. He sang all sorts of songs, played all sorts of melodies, while you giggled and clapped your hands excitedly, bouncing up and down. Brook smiled, the sight warming heart - oh, but he doesn't have a heart. He hardly ever got tired, but you prompted him to play for hours on end, until he really was exhausted. So he picked you up, settled on his bed, and lay you on his lap before humming a tune. You slowly drifted off to sleep, and Brook smiled.
He hoped he could play for one of the crew's babies one day.
CHOPPER
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Another island, another mishap, another adventure. No trip is ever boring with the Straw Hats, and this was again proven when an unfortunate encounter with a devil fruit user who could change people's ages led to you being turned into an infant. And that's how you found yourself cradled in Sanji's arms, with Chopper trying to get a good look at you all throughout the walk back to the Sunny.
"Chopper, she's fine," the cook tried to assure the doctor, but Chopper was having none of it.
He was so worried, because no one was equipped to take care of a baby, and he cared about you so much that now you were a baby, he was becoming overprotective. As soon as Sanji set you down somewhere safe for Chopper to examine you, he was grabbing his bag and bringing out all his different tools. He checked all your vitals and made sure you were first and foremost healthy, before he could consider anything else.
Then you touched his blue nose and widened your eyes in fascination, gurgling softly, and Chopper blushed brightly. He smiled and poked your nose back, and you let out the cutest giggle that melted the reindeer's little heart. He shifted to his humanoid form and gently lifted you up into his arms, cradling you as he gazed down at you with the utmost love, adoration and fascination he could manage. You were so tiny, even more so than him, and so so cute. Then you sneezed, looking stunned for a moment before giggling loudly. And Chopper thought there was nothing more joy-inducing than holding and watching baby you.
"Chopper, where's-oh." Nami stopped when she saw Chopper standing there just holding you, one of his fingers in your tiny hand as he cooed at you and made you giggle. She smiled softly and left the room, deciding you were in safe hands.
"You're the cutest baby in the world, (Name)," Chopper told you. You just smiled brightly, exposing your gums cause you had no teeth, and waved your small arms around happily.
Chopper was really good with you. He monitored you throughout the 24 hours, making sure you ate properly, got enough sleep and were bathed properly. He is probably the best caretaker out of all the men on this list, not only because he's doctor but he's naturally caring and nurturing. It comes like second nature to him. Besides, you were such a calm and quiet baby - except for the giggling - that you made it easy for him. He was almost sad when you fell asleep, knowing you'd be grown up again when you woke up.
But maybe one day the crew would be able to fawn over a baby everyday. Maybe one day.
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moonit3 · 7 months
Note
hii could i please get a part 2 of the yandere apocalypse survivor x reader? i love so much you could say im obsessed!! <33
of course you can! honestly i was already thinking in writing a second part and your request only made me more energetic to write it! i decided to write it like a story instead of the headcanons from the previously part. also, keep in mind this post contain noncon, so be aware of it! pt.1 here
SURVIVORS pt.2
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➥ warnings/notices: yandere themes, nsfw, noncon oral, threats, gn! reader, obsession, male genitalia, reader! submissive, yandere! dominant, blood, rough, mentioned murders, reader is tied up and unable to escape, reader gets hit once.
➥ yandere apocalypse survivor x gn! reader
➥ synopsis: theo shows his true self and now you face the consequences of letting him inside.
➥ a/n: i consider this as my darkest post that i released, so be careful approaching this one, okay? don’t force yourself to read it if any of the warnings make you uncomfortable.
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father was right. you shouldn’t have let anyone inside the bunker.
“t-theo!” with little strength in your body, you try to hold him back, creating a small distance between his thing to enter your hole. it’s inevitable that he will do it, but there is enough hope that he won’t do it today. “We can talk about it! Just wait—“
he slaps you, it’s hurts like hell. the expression on his face scares you, staring at you like you were nothing but a mere toy to his amusement. theo never saw you as a friend, has he? the duct he takes out of his pockets says all, he uses it to ties your hands.
this is getting worse every second goes by, but what can you do to fight him? you look across the bedroom to try to find anything to use against him, a knife, glass or something else to open the bunker’s door to escape. its doesn’t matter that creatures are outside to kill you, at least, you won’t be near theo.
however, you don’t see nothing that could help you escape from him, not a single glass bottle nor the small blade that you always put in the nightstand. he planned this, oh god. you are stupid to think this happened without a reason behind.
“now, now…don’t think of escaping from me, [name].” he made you kneel in the cold floor, making your skin shiver and how he holds you chin to look directly to his sharp eyes doesn’t help either. “you are mine, understand? from now on, you will live under my guidance and don’t ever think of stepping out of this bunker, now that you’ve become my love.”
“im sorry?” this wasn’t meant to be speak out loud, but you let it escape in the last second. you expected him to yell, maybe another slap, but he just caresses your [h/c] with a sickly smile on the lips. he brings your face closer to his.
“don’t worry, sweetie.” he said, moving your head to face the bulge on his pants, its growing large just because you are staring at it in a mixed of surprise and fear. “i know you are inexperienced in love. you have been for so long that you don’t understand how humans act with the person they are in love, but im here to help you with that.”
he forced you into kneeling again, but this time there is his cock right in front of your eyes. it’s big and there is the liquid already dripping from the top, a view you won’t forget so soon. theo smiles seeing your reaction, the fear in your face says that you already knows what is going to happen, but it’s seems that you need a little help from him.
“you never saw a cock, haven’t you?” he smirked, already knowing the answers. “I can help if you want to be less painful for someone who never suck a cock before. you want some help from me?”
you nodded. trying to contain yourself from crying, this wasn’t supposed to be happening. do you deserve to be treated like this? you didn’t got time to think of an answer as theo made you open your lips to accommodate his member, instantly choking you.
it’s to big! and his head holding the back of your head is making it worse, you mouth is reaching the base of his shaft, leaving no time to breath nor get used to his large size. theo is hurting your throat and he knows that.
you want to remove yourself away from theo, just to at least catch up some air, but every time you show some sign that you are removing your mouth away from his cock to inhale the air, theo keeps forcing your head to take part of his length of his member and for one last attempt, he makes you take all of him.
“don’t you dare ruin it!” he slaps your face without hesitation. a large mark is now on the left side of your cheek and tears are flowing from your eyes, blurring your view. “im almost done, so don’t dare to ruin it if you don’t want to die!”
there are few more attempts to remove yourself from theo as you could feel his thrust getting sloppy and the few faint moans escaping your lips his making him love this moment. theo won’t forget this moment as he finally gets to what he is having being waiting for so long while you will get nightmares of this whatever you close your eyes.
it took a minute or so to theo to finally come, letting his cum coming down your throat. it’s taste weird and salty, you won’t forget of this taste so soon. theo only removed himself when he was sure you had swollen til the last drop of the white liquid.
he admires you. how you are eyes are so shaken from this whole situation, your tied hands are incapable of protecting you from him and you even refuse to raise your head. theo broken you, just like he always wanted and now he will rebuild you to be his perfect toy partner.
———————\\——————
@moonit3 writings
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slytherinshua · 4 months
Text
A JERK. OR NOT?
genre. fluff. warnings. eunseok is a tiny bit jerk... he teases a lot. but he's actually whipped. pairing. eunseok x fem!reader. wc. 1.9k. request. requested by @eternalgyu: JDJSJS OK LISTEN EUNSEOK ACADEMIC E2L- HES ACTUALLY BULLYCORE TO HIS CLOSE FRIENDS BUT HES ALSO THE SWEETEST WHEN HES IN LOVE like he would make u miss ur bus after school and it would rain but then would walk u home w an umbrella HSJSJSJ IM SO DOWN BAD FOR HIM a/n. hehe i ate up this req TBH EUNSEOK IS SO HIGH SCHOOL BOYFRIEND THO??? i literally love him what
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You had no idea how you had ended up in this position; somehow charming the school’s most popular guy. Most popular and biggest jerk. But God, who even cared if he was mean when he looked like an angel sent down from heaven to grace the school grounds?
Whenever someone new came to the school, there were several things that they were immediately made aware of. Most of them were given a list or told directly by one of the older students, while others learned naturally within a week of being at Chungdam High. 
First? Eating outside was infinitely better than eating in the canteen.
Second? Being late was worse than being absent.
And third? Song Eunseok was the king of the school.
New students could probably just tell from the way he carried himself that he knew he could get anyone to do what he wanted. He was lazy, slept in class, cut in line at the snackbar, toyed with the younger students for his own amusement. He never truly bullied people, but he tread the line sometimes, and you didn’t like it.
You weren’t new to the school. You had been attending since you graduated middle school, and you were ever aware of all 3 of these things. It wasn’t until you were in your graduating year that the third thing became as apparent as ever. For some reason— whether it was a Summer glow-up that you weren’t aware of, or a dare from his friends, or whether he had truly always liked you— at the very beginning of the year, Eunseok had asked you out.
You thought that rejecting him the first time would discourage him from his… fixation. But, to your dismay, after coming back from the fall break, he seemed as determined as ever to win you over. He even somehow got the seating arrangement to change so he sat right behind you. You spent the fall months trying to ignore his constant pestering and note passing. He liked to kick your feet under the table as well.
You didn’t really mind the most handsome guy at school paying attention to you, but you were confused. You definitely weren’t going to blindly accept his offer to be your boyfriend without first getting to know him, which was your secret mission for now.
Given that you didn’t go out of your way to avoid him, and still engaged in conversations with him, Eunseok kept his hopes up despite your original rejection. He was more sensible than his reputation might have painted for him. Yes, he enjoyed teasing people just to see their annoyed face, but bullying was a step too far even for him. 
Maybe it was his need for attention, but he thrived on anything he could get. Whether it was the girls all having crushes on him or the boys all being jealous of him— he tried to make sure that he was at the top of everyone’s mind. But he wasn’t a bully. Anyone with any sense would know that Chungdam High did not have a bullying problem, but if anyone were to fill in that spot, it would probably be Eunseok and his friends.
It was because of this ambiguity that you weren’t quite sure whether you should be wary of Eunseok or not. He had never shown an interest in you before, and you wanted to be positive that his affection was sincere before allowing your heart to be affected by his flirting tactics.
Flirting? Yeah, he was quite good at that, you realized after a week of his attention. Only because he had mastered flirting in a way that was not cliche or cheesy, but hanging in that sweet spot of summoning butterflies every time a word flew out of his mouth. Along with his stupidly attractive smirk that appeared whenever you blushed because of his words, you were quickly failing in your plan to be unaffected by him until you were sure you wanted to accept his offer.
It was a delicate balance of your brain’s hesitance and your heart’s curiosity. You had never been in love, and though sometimes you didn’t want to accept it, you craved experiencing that more than anything.
It was a Thursday afternoon, and you were sitting in the library during your free period. You had come in to get some work done, but instead you found yourself mulling over how Eunseok had acted around you for the last week. You still couldn’t tell whether he was being genuine or not, and that frustrated you. You decided you would just ask him the next time you saw him. Worst case scenario, you would discover that he really was just a jerk trying to play with your emotions.
It seemed as if he wanted that ‘next time’ to be right now, because he pulled out a chair across from you and sat down. He crossed his arms and propped up his feet on the table, blatantly ignoring library etiquette. You shook your head and scoffed, turning your attention back to your very blank notebook.
“You’ve been in here for an hour yet I haven’t seen you turn a single page.” Eunseok started, a smirk already playing on his lips. He had his secret hopes and suspicions that he might be the reason why you were so distracted today. He needed to test out the waters first, though. Your cheeks immediately coloured at being caught, and Eunseok was given a surge of confidence.
“If you’re not planning to study anyway, how about I buy you something at the snack bar? Hello Panda, right? Those are your favourite?” He was already standing up by the time you found yourself nodding your head. You had no choice but to pack up your books and follow him.
“Hey,” You started, taking the chance to ask him your question while he was buying the snacks for you. “Do you seriously like me? This isn’t some stupid dare that Sungchan made you do, right?” 
He was silent for a few moments— maybe the first time you had ever heard him stop and think. He grabbed the packet of Hello Panda from the bottom of the vending machine and turned to you.
“Yes. I actually like you.” His face was almost completely stonelike. He was trying not to express anything that could give away just how much he was entirely whipped for you. You could see it in his eyes, though. They looked nervous awaiting your answer.
“Really?” You asked skeptically, needing one more confirmation before you would allow yourself to fully believe him. You wanted to believe him. It was hard trying to ignore his affections towards you every day when your brain kept telling you to take this chance and experience love for the first time. 
“Yes. Really. How long are you going to keep asking that?” He said, a little on edge from the situation. It was uncomfortable to have to confess so openly. He could tease you all day without feeling nervous, but when you were staring at him so closely, he started to feel vulnerable. 
“Okay. Just making sure…” You grabbed the Hello Panda from his hands and walked off, heart racing just a little faster than your mind. He really liked you? So then… should you ask him out? You shook off the thought as you walked outside. Your bus would be arriving any minute, and you wanted to get home to think in the comfort of your bedroom.
You frowned as you stepped outside. It was raining— a small sprinkle for now, but it looked like it would only get heavier. You didn’t bring an umbrella. You checked your phone for the time.
Shit.
It was already 4:08. Your bus was probably already close to the bus stop. You took off running, eyes widening as you rounded the corner. The bus was already leaving. 
“No- No! Come back!” You shouted helplessly, slowing down as you caught up to the bus stop. You panted, scowling at your luck. You would’ve been on time if Eunseok hadn’t distracted you by buying you snacks. You supposed you shouldn’t blame him too much. It was a nice gesture. You were doubtful that the Hello Panda would stay nice if you had to walk home in the rain, though. There wasn’t another bus for over 30 minutes.
“Hey! How could you just leave like that!?” You heard a shout and turned. Eunseok was running towards you, his hand shielding his face from the rain that had gotten significantly heavier since you had reached the shelter of the bus stop. It looked like he didn’t have an umbrella either.
“What do you mean?” You muttered, looking away from him to stop your heart from racing further. 
“You’re really not going to say anything?” He asked weakly. 
“Get out of the rain.” You said, hoping to divert the conversation from the topic you still weren’t entirely sure about.
“Not until you give me an answer.” He said firmly and you sighed. “Please, I’ll stop if you say so… But I need you to say it. I’ve liked you for a year now. If you don’t tell me to stop then I’m seriously going to cross a line.” He warned, heart all choked up in his throat. 
You weren’t sure what to say or do. Eunseok stood, getting soaked from the rain, waiting anxiously for your response. You would be lying if you said that his flirtation over the past months hadn’t had an effect on you. You felt the sparks fly— you had reason to think that it could work out. 
“I’ve never… dated before.” You confessed nervously.
“That shouldn’t- No, that doesn’t matter. All that matters is if you want to.” He reassured you, his hopes rising every second that you didn’t say no.
“Then… I like you, Eunseok.” You whispered, just loud enough for him to hear it. Even though you said it softly, it rang around his head like an alarm. 
You liked him?
You liked him.
You liked him.
He couldn’t contain his elation, and rushed forward, capturing you in his arms securely. Though he was soaking wet from the rain, having him hold you felt… pleasant. Much nicer than you had ever anticipated. His touch was cold against your skin but your heart felt warm. Droplets of water from his hair dripped onto your shoulder as you hesitantly reached around to reciprocate the hug. 
You heard him giggle. It was adorable. You had rarely seen him smile unless it was a sarcastic smirk, but hearing that sound of pure joy coming from his mouth and knowing that it was because of you triggered your own happiness to spike. It felt nice. Really nice. You didn’t want to let go of the hug, so even when Eunseok started to move away and apologize for hugging you so suddenly, you pulled him back and buried your head further into his chest. He was taken aback by your sudden action.
“You’re so… cute.” He whispered. You smiled, colour rushing to your cheeks. You hid your face even more just in case he saw. His teasing was bad before, but now that you were sure you liked him, it wouldn’t be annoying, it would be embarrassing.
Unfortunately for you, he somehow did catch a glimpse of the blush and didn’t let it go for the entire walk home. Maybe he was still just a little bit of a jerk.
↳ riize taglist: @eternalgyu,, @kangtaehyunzzz,, @weird-bookworm,, @haecien,, @seolboba,, @cyberpunksunwoo,, @cosmicwintr, @chiiyuuvv,, @evalevaeva
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savannahsdeath · 9 months
Note
hi i love your writing SO MUCH and idk if i requested this already but… do you think we can get a brothers best friend ellie?? readers brother DOES NOT want them together but they end up fucking when he’s asleep/not home. or reader goes to ellies house and eats her out while shes on call with reader’s brother?? either one is fine i would just love to see you write it
i think you requested that but i made it likee the brother didnt care so heres a second one🤭ill post the first one too tho!!
BBF!ELLIE WILLIAMS X READER
mdni please<3
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warnings: 18+!! smut, almost getting caught
writers note: im sorry its so short whateva💔
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You couldn't decide whether you like it or not.
Well, of course you did. Ellie never failed to make you feel good, her strap hitting all the right places while her hands caressed your thighs. She was rough, but not too rough. Degrading, but also praising. Basically, she was all you could ever ask for and more. What was there to hate?
But at some point, there was this little voice in your head telling you you're pathetic. Pathetic for liking this, agreeing to this and... just admiring her overall.
Because, jesus, 'she's my brother's friend. Best friend. What am I going to tell him?'
You, as the little sister, always let him insult you. Your opinion didn't matter, you gave up on trying to be important long time ago. You didn't hate him, he wasn't that bad. It was just sibling love language. He just couldn't be nice. If he knew about you and Ellie...
You were good at hiding it, though. When you first met her, you didn't believe she's really friends with your brother. Not to be mean, but you didn't thought he'll get along with someone who seems so... perfect.
'She probably has a shitty personality.'
That's how you explained their friendship. And you were terribly wrong.
After she visited your house once, she kept coming almost every day. At this point, you got used to that.
Oh, well, not exactly... There was some awkward situations, like when you exited the bathroom in only a towel wrapped around your bare skin and you saw her leaning against the handrail in the hallway. She only ruffled your hair and laughed at your embarrassment, seeing you blush and holding onto the fabric like your life depended on it. Maybe it did, actually?
It wasn't long after that before you began to wonder -'She can't be friends with my brother... can she?'- You started to notice more things - her kindness towards you, a tender touch here and there, and the way she looked at you made you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. So what if she was his best friend? Would he really mind?
But what if he did? What if he found out?
Suddenly that little voice in your head was screaming louder than ever, and that feeling of shame and guilt crept up on you again.
But no matter how much of the guilt you felt, and despite the small voice in your head telling you you're pathetic, it felt right. You felt accepted. Accepted by someone who was perfect in every way. The thought of telling your brother filled you with dread, but it seemed so far away. You could figure out that little problem later, right? Just for now, you could feel a rush of emotions - mostly guilt, but also a rush of lust that made you want more.
More and more.
And she gave you more.
A quiet -'fuck'- escaped her lips as she saw your cunt throbbing against her strap. Her hands continued firmly holding you down as you didn't even bother to stay quiet. You felt so good... and so ashamed... You wanted it to stop but at the same time, you knew you'd beg for more if she would even simply slow down.
It was really your own fault.
This was the first time in ages you were left home alone, so you immediately invited Ellie over. First time you won't have to bury your face in the pillows. First time she won't have to shush you. First time you could actually do everything.
You were fighting your own thoughts, not knowing which one are the bad ones. You had no idea if you're doing the right thing. And you most definitely weren't but you were too fucked up to realize that.
Ellie chuckled, hearing your not-muffled this time sounds. "Were you always this loud? Jesus, how did we manage to keep this a secret for so long?"
The truth is, she wasn't silent herself. Fine, she wasn't a whining mess, unlike you, but still - the little 'fuck's and praises escaping her mouth weren't too quiet.
You continued squirming and whimpering about how big she is and how much it hurts, hoping it'll magically change, though you didn't really wanted it to. Or maybe you did? You weren't sure. Your mind continued the fight wether it's good or pathetic, none of the sides prevailing.
She clicked her tongue in disappointment, but her smirk told you how proud she really is. "I know, I know, so stop moving so fucking much." She said.
Her raspy, tired voice was enough to make you squirm again. You weren't used to hear it in these circumstances before, since it's obviously the first time she could speak loudly and clearly, without worrying about your brother.
"I said something, doll." Her grip on your hips hardened, almost aggressively pinning you to bed.
You heard the ring hanging near the door, meaning someone opened them. Just by footsteps you could tell it was your brother.
"Should I stop?" She asked with mock-concern and interest. You realized your answer won't change anything - maybe just the intensity of her moves, so you didn't waste your energy answering. That was a sign of your obedience and helplessness Ellie waited for. "Good girl."
She rolled you on your stomach and tangled her fingers in your hair, pressing your head into the pillow. She shoved it down with every thrust - every hit of your climax - to stop you from moaning. And of course it didn't work completely, but they faded enough to be inaudible outside the room.
She was intentionally going faster and faster. She loved playing with you, feeling the thrill of it, even though you didn't find it so amusing. You digged your nails into the tattoo on her forearm, hoping to slow her down.
"Ya know what will happen if he hears?" She didn't seem to care that your fingers were literally drawing blood from her body. "You'll handle it. Unless you want him to find out?" She whispered.
You immediately shook your head, pursing your lips and squeezing your eyes shut.
Then, your moment of focus broke as you heard knocking, on the door to your room this time.
"I'm back!" Your brother announced.
You asked him to tell you whenever he goes out or cames back, mostly so you knew if Ellie's free, since he only goes out with her. Today was the first time he went outside on his own and the poor guy had no idea she found a reason to visit your house anyway, just like he had no idea she did so even when he was home, in his room, right above yours.
The lack of response surprised him, so he knocked once more before shouting confused -'You there?'
Ellie looked down at you, daring you to answer, mouthing silent 'go on' in the most taunting voice she could.
"Yes! That's good!" Your voice was shaky and you knew he will notice.
He wasn't really caring, just curious, so he had to know everything. His first sentence sounded cute, like he really cared, but you figured out he's making fun of you as soon as you heard the other questions. "Are you crying? What, you weren't invited to some lame party? Or a boy you know for a week broke up with you?"
And what were you supposed to say? -'No, your best friend is fucking me for... probably more than an hour now, and her dick is probably bigger than yours, so I can't control my tears'
"Yeah, something lik- Oh, fuck off!" You screamed back, succeeding to pretend you're really hurt because of one of the pathetic things he accused you for.
He laughed. "Mhm- Whatever!"
The footsteps climbed up stairs and got silent. Ellie bit her bottom lip, holding back a chuckle.
"Does he really think of you so low?" Her hips slowed down again, but became more precise. "You did good, don't worry. It'll be over soon."
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shotmrmiller · 3 months
Note
okay so maybe like angst/hurt comfort bc the boys are soft and i love that house indulge me thank you 😭😭😭 (tw unhealthy relationship, nothing descriptive but to each their own with how it goes/how dark you want it)
but say reader is with someone else, someone who frequents the boys usual bar. and they see you quiet often and come to look forward to seeing you, even if you’re with someone else. you’ve caught their eye a couple times and always send a shy smile back and have even gathered the courage to say hi to them every once in awhile when they come up to the bar for a refill.
and the more they go, the more rundown you seem. more tired, lackluster, smile straining at the corners. even if you’re happy to see them, look forward to seeing them, it doesn’t reach your eyes like before.
one evening they go out the side for a smoke and see your partner berating you (perhaps more, worse, etc) and they get involved bc how fucking dare they. they damn near tear the collar off with a knife and pull you away to protect you, and keep you safe from them.
TW: implied verbal abuse
"You talk to all your defenseless pets like that?" Mohawk man's face twisted in anger as he fiercely confronted your 'handler'. The guy was silent, choking on his fear, when he got slammed against the wall so hard his head bounced off of the surface.
The behemoth with a skull balaclava placed his palm right by his head and got within inches of your handler's face.
With a menacing tone, he growled, "He asked you a question."
Chilly hands cupped your face and turned your head, forcing your attention from your handler borderline pissing himself on the wall to the guy in front of you, that wore a hat with a UK flag on it.
"Focus on me, sweetheart. You alright?" he softly asked.
Too stunned to speak, you weakly nod.
"Good. Captain? Got a knife?" The man with a mutton chop beard answered him.
"No. Simon?" Without looking, the masked man threw his sheathed tactical knife at Captain. Hat man slowly moved, taking great care to not make any sudden movements, and grabbed the knife, and explained, "I'm going to cut this collar off, yeah? I promise I won't hurt you."
He waited patiently for your consent, and when you finally did, he gave you a tender smile.
"Good darling. Hold still now."
Swiftly placing two fingers under your collar, he cleverly used them as a barrier between the delicate skin of your neck and the blade.
As soon as it snapped off, a rush of air filled your lungs, and your eyes stung with the welling of tears. You were finally free.
Captain took off his coat and wrapped it around you, enveloping you in warmth.
"Let's get you outta here, yeah?"
In the secure embrace of Captain, you were swiftly carried away from the chaos, and when the unsettling noise of skin colliding with skin reached your ears, you tightly covered them— blocking out all sound.
--
why was this so hard to write? maybe cuz if i was one of the boys, im just pulling out the glizzy.
find peace in the embrace of the goddess, type beat.
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alicerosejensen · 3 months
Note
OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH
I JUST HAD A CUTE LITTLE SCENARIO IDEA. It is about vendetta! leon and young(20’s) reader series! What about reader sitting on the bathrooms counter/vanity while helping Leon shave? His hands are resting on readers tighs or around her waist as he watches her focused eyes. I THINK THAT WOULD BE ADORABLE PLS.
And i don’t think this counts as an ask, but if you’ll want to do something with this im not complainig hahah 👁👁
Warning: Fluff, mention of injuries, age difference (implied but not mentioned), Leon!Vendetta, Leon gets taken care of (this man needs a little love and devotion); talking about nothing.
I'm sorry, I'm too lazy. I write slowly and because of some eternally tired condition
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Coming back to you after so many weeks of silence was wrong, or at least unfair. To tell the truth, Leon did not feel that he should have done it at all, the doctor recommended bed rest, but it was all the same. It was not the first time he had been thrown like a rag doll, although this time he felt like he was on the edge, dangerously balancing between life and death, when Aris's claws almost pierced his flesh. At least Leon thought he was going to die thinking about you- the only good thing in his life in recent years.
He wasn't even sure if you would let him in, but when he broke out of the dark tunnel, the whole flight he thought only about how nice it was to return to the person who, for some reason, cared about him. You weren't his wife, you weren't his work partner, you were just a girl. The girl he was afraid to fall in love with because he always thought that this love would hurt you. Although it seems that only one was injured, and it was Leon himself, who came up with stupid rules for himself to protect you.
And here he is, you look at him without any malice, although it would be worth it. Leon really doesn't think he has the right to show up like this without an invitation, but he does, looking into your eyes with a guilty look, hoping that you won't drive him away and let him lick his wounds while he lets you love him tenderly.
"Come in," you nod head, letting him into your tiny apartment, in which Leon felt better than at home.
Although it looked more like a lone wolf's lair. It was much more comfortable and even somehow warmer with you.
Taking a step, Leon feels not like a government dog, but an ordinary person who is taken by the hand and let into a small corner of paradise. Maybe it will last a day, two or a week, but he will be a little happy and loved.
"Should I heat up your dinner?" You ask casually, as if he wasn't ignoring you and running away to drown his problems in alcohol. "Leon?"
"No, I'm not hungry."
"Coffee?" Again you offer him, but he just shakes his head negatively as he sits down on the chair in front of you.
"No"
Maybe you think he came here to end all the little things that were between you, but no. He just needs you as a salvation, otherwise his head will drown in regret.
All Leon wants is for his fight not to be in vain, but every time someone else takes the place of the bad guy, and corporations continue to create viruses that turn people into bioweapons. He runs his hand over his face, feeling the annoying stubble under his palm that should have been shaved off, but having drowned in alcohol, he didn’t want to do anything.
“I just,” he looks at you with a hazy look but completely sober, “Can I stay here? With you?”
Who are you to refuse him? But be honest with yourself, you want him to stay here, especially since his beaten appearance really said that he was better off not being alone. Under the T-shirt, bruises and abrasions on the face and arms and what appears to be a dislocated shoulder are visible. In any case, wanted to believe that Leon didn’t break any bones.
"You know that my answer is yes"
Leon doesn't smile. Just eternally grateful that he won't have to sit in his dark, lonely apartment lying on his bed again after taking a strong painkiller.
He sleeps well with you, he doesn't have nightmares, and he's just comfortable here. You can turn on the TV, watch an old movie with you and lie quietly, knowing that he will not be called anywhere until he recovers. There was work left in New York for B.S.A.A and TerraSave, but not for him, besides, he didn't take a shower before coming to you, fortunately you had some of his things, including a spare toothbrush and a new disposable razor.
And that was the problem. The problem with his shoulder, which you kept looking at without stopping, as if he had grown a third arm.
“Working moments,” Leon muttered, feeling that he really wouldn’t refuse your dinner. “Can I ask you something else?"
“Yeah, sure.” You really never refused him.
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Arias threw him against the wall, clearly sparing no effort, but thanks to the adrenaline, Leon didn’t feel much pain and was able to maneuver and attack this crazy bastard. The truth is that falling from a motorcycle does not benefit his body, which is why when everything calmed down, Leon realized that it was simply difficult for him to pick up the very razor that was now in your hands and do such a simple job as shaving.
“Just stay still, or better yet, sit down,” you said loudly, seeing that Leon didn’t like the touch on his neck when you tried to cover him with shaving foam.
It was already like instinct when they touched his neck. Leon immediately jerked to the side when he felt someone else's palm on his skin, as if the touch caused him pain. He never talked about how often he was grabbed by the throat, but from his reaction one could guess that this was a sensitive area that he did not like to trust to anyone but himself.
“I can’t shave you if you twitch like a little kid who doesn’t want to wash his face,” you joked, using your finger to spread the shaving foam you had on your hand onto the tip of his nose.
"Just...a reflex"
You thought about it, biting your lip, but Leon just exhaled, gathering his strength, knowing that you weren't going to kill him. He trusted you, so he calmly sat down on a small chair, putting his hands on your waist, trying to relax.
You saw how tense his muscles were, as if at any moment he was ready to make a jerk, his fingers squeezed the fabric of your tank top while you distributed foam over his face, trying not to overuse the product at the site of his abrasions that have not yet healed. When that was done, the razor in your hands gently touched the skin of his neck and gently shaved off excess hair from his face with smooth movements against the coarse hairs.
Carefully avoiding all the cuts, you managed not to hurt him. Step by step, you constantly rinsed the razor to remove all the hairs from it and walk it over the places where the stubble still remained. The most difficult thing for Leon was his neck - he felt too exposed and vulnerable, but when it was over and you moved to another zone, it seemed to you that he even exhaled.
In the end, getting carried away with the case, you didn't even notice how Leon was gradually able to relax and carefully watched your movements, finding you charming when you are so focused only on him. Maybe it's a little selfish, but for him you look so beautiful that he thinks about asking you to shave him again in a week when the stubble grows back, just to watch you take care of him again.
It took you a few minutes to catch his eye when you were completely done. The blue eyes stared at you with such attention that for a second you might have thought that something interesting was written on your face since he was looking at you like that. It's a little awkward and you look at him in response, stupidly blinking your eyes when you wipe his face with a towel, which makes a smile bloom on your lips and you look away.
"What's funny?"
To be honest, there really wasn't anything funny, it was just embarrassing for you.
"Did you leave me something like a mustache?" He joked and you burst out laughing
"Good idea! I'll do it next time."
Leon chuckled, because as a temporary joke, you could do that. That's just the accumulated fatigue that fell like a heavy boulder on him did not allow him to rejoice as much as you do.
"You're obviously going to amuse Chris," He sighed. You threw the razor into the sink and froze for a moment when you felt his head pressed against your stomach, relaxing in layers as you run your fingers through his hair "Thank you"
"No problem," you kissed the top of his head, helping him stand up, noticing how he hisses from the pain in his back when he straightens up.
"Fuck." Leon hisses in pain, catching his breath, realizing that maybe he should drink more painkillers and let a loved one take care of him. "I think I'm catching up with my age"
"Maybe. But I think you should rest and follow the doctor's recommendations at least until you stop needing painkillers."
"Until the next mission, you mean?"
You didn't say anything because you didn't know much about his work. After laying Leon on the bed, he finally exhaled with relief after looking at you with secret gratitude. Literally the only person who gives him warmth and comfort, and maybe he should come to you instead of washing down his bitterness in a bar. Thinking about it, Leon even thought that if he had stayed with you, he would not be suffering from his injuries now, however… What would have happened to Chris and Rebecca? But it's too late to regret what happened. He's alive and he's with you now. He lies in your bed listening to the usual chatter while the TV is on in the background and you settle down next to him bringing an extra blanket and pillow.
In the end, you just plopped down next to him, thoughtfully looking at the picture on the TV, pulling the blanket over yourself. Leon moved a little closer to you, hugging you around the waist, nuzzling your cheek, covering his eyes from fatigue. Of course you knew that he works for the government, but never what he does specifically. You saw the "DSO" marking on his gun, but you were afraid to ask him about it, although the fact that Leon has the right to carry and store weapons freely already hinted that he does not work in some average position and his injuries… one is worse than the other.
It is difficult to unravel the thoughts of this person, especially when he is completely immersed in himself. You know that he has some problems with alcohol and a couple of times you even quarreled about it, after which Leon always apologized by coming to you with flowers and other gifts. You turn off the light in the room, turning to him, meeting the tired gaze of blue eyes.
"Thank you. I rarely say this, but I'm grateful for everything you do for me."
"I know."
"Maybe you should find a better guy than me, but" he snuggled even closer and there was fear in his words, as if you could make him leave right now, "but I want to be with you. I can't lead a normal life, but being here with you feels like I'm becoming normal. Who he was before September 30, 1998"
"And what happened on September 30th?" you ask, putting your hand on his palm, smiling, and immediately see how noticeably even in the dark his face changes, becoming more gloomy.
"My first day working as a cop. I overslept and was late for my first day at work"
He could have said a lot and revealed his soul to you without fear if he hadn't been bound by the government. Raccoon City is classified information, and even no matter how much he values you, you shouldn't know anything about it. Fortunately, you do not pry into the truth, leaving his personal border untouched, and for this Leon is infinitely grateful. Maybe in a couple of weeks, when his injuries stop being so painful and his condition improves, he'll even laugh at what kind of mustache you made for him while shaving him again. He will really be happy and he will not need alcohol in this.
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mrswint3rs · 4 months
Note
I can't write well but just an idea that I find hot. Totally didn't imagen that.
After the end of RE5. He survived barely. Injured pretty badly but recovering.
Reader taking such good care of him. Since he can't properly do it himself.
Maybe reader could help him relax ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
~horny for Wesker anon
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In a Time of Need
a/n- im in love with this idea oml ty anon.
pairings- Albert Wesker x Gn! reader
NSFW WARNING:
contains- oral sex (m!receiving), handjob, edging, Wesker refers to himself as ‘master’ once, riding Wesker while he’s immobile (consensually), praise/degrading, and use of pet names as always 𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
In his weaker state, Wesker is now a shadow of his former self. He's a broken man who has lost everything. He relies on you to take care of him, to feed him, and to keep him comfortable. You're the one who keeps him alive and protects him. You're the one who has the power to make his life better or worse. You have him entirely in your hands.
It used to be the other way around.
He's been reduced to a mere specimen and can't even protest that. He's completely silent, with the only sound being the heavy pumping of his heart. There's a feeling of hopelessness and self-pity surrounding him.
He won’t admit it, but he’s grateful for your presence. Despite how rough he treated you before, and how often he belittled you. You stuck by his side. Even more so when he was as pathetic like this You never seemed to think any less of him.
No matter the failure or wrongdoings, you held Wesker in high regard. You looked up to him as a superior being.
Even now, as you have to be the one to nurse him. Constantly tending to his slow healing wounds and practically spoon feeding him.
Wesker was never one to accept weakness and having to rely on someone else for basic things like eating and sleeping is infuriating for him. He doesn't understand how this has happened and doesn't want to admit that he is weak and vulnerable. He still has his pride and isn't ready to accept the fact that he needs someone to take care of him. He struggles against it every chance he gets, but deep down he understands he has no other options but to comply.
Daily, you have to tend to his bandages and open cuts to prevent further problems like infection.
Cleaning Wesker's wounds is no easy task. They are deep and painful and he doesn't like you touching or inspecting them. He's in so much pain, it's hard for him to even breathe. He clenches his jaw and squeezes his eyes shut, but not enough to hide the pain he's in. He curses softly each time you touch him, his wounds raw and red, but slowly healing under the care and attention of your hands.
“Sorry…” You offer a timid apology as you carefully change the gauze, a slight tremble in your hands betraying your concern that you may inadvertently cause discomfort to him.
"It didn't hurt that much." Wesker peers down at you with a mixture of frustration and sadness in his eyes. "Just finish up quickly."
You finish cleaning the wound and apply a fresh bandage to it. Wesker stays silent and stoic as you work, but you know he's in pain and only tolerating this. He's still glaring at you and even if you're doing your best to avoid hurting him, your final touches are making him flinch a little.
"Are you finished?" he grumbles under his breath. You can tell he's trying not to make a fuss, but he clearly wants to be done with this.
You give a reassuring nod in response as you tape up the loose ends. “Are you hungry still?” you ask cautiously. “Need anything before bed?”
"No." he says firmly, not willing to show any neediness or rely on you for anything else.
Part of him did want to be alone, but being around you made him feel slightly better.
Maybe because of your constant need to dote on him. He may have changed but you didn’t. In a sense, you were still basically his lap dog. It fed into that unquenchable thirst for control that he had. You did everything in your power to please him without a second thought.
You could see clear as day how much he was suffering. More than just external wounds inflicted pain.
The poor man was cooped up in bed, unable to accomplish any of the ideals he had thoroughly planned and tried for. Of course you could tell he was stressed. Anyone would be. For Wesker, that stress was eating him alive. He could hardly face you, utterly embarrassed at the state he was forced into. It wasn’t supposed to turn out this way. He wasn’t supposed to sink so low.
But, you knew exactly what was needed to boost him back up, at least somewhat close to his norm.
As you finish cleaning up, you decide to let your hand roam. Avoiding the injured areas of skin, you delicately slide your hand between his leg. Your soft palm trails the inside of his thighs and his tired eyes flicker to you in surprise. “I don’t want another useless massage.” he cuts in.
“I was thinking of doing a little bit more than that for you today.” you counter in a question like statement. “I think certain areas may be feeling neglected lately.”
Wesker picks up on the innuendo, his mood shifting immediately as you state your suggestion.
“Oh?” his thin lips start to curve into that all knowing grin. “Well then, be my guest.”
He certainly wasn’t going to deny you. The man hadn’t been touched for way longer than he anticipated. He was far too busy for things like this.
He almost forgot how good it could feel.
As your hand glides over his hardening length through the tight fabric of his pants, he jerks on impulse, letting out a throaty groan. He was way more sensitive than you anticipated, but you weren’t complaining.
You slowly stroke him through the material and its enough to send him into shock. The heat pools between his legs at the contact of your hands, the discomfort of his injuries fade into nothing.
To your convenience, he lifts as best he can, letting you strip him of his coverings. His cock stands tall and proud, the vein leading from tip to base steadily twitching.
He watches your every move as you spit into the center of your hand.
His eyes snap shut as you then use it to pump your hand, caressing the whole length, soft and breathy moans pour from his lips at his sensitivity.
“Fuck…just like that. Don’t you dare stop.” he barks out an order, yet he can’t sound as stern with you as usual. Not when you ball your palm over the tip, twisting and squeezing your way around.
He can hardly sit still, as much as he tries.
When your mouth comes into play, kissing softly down his happy trail. Your lip’s envelop him into your warm welcoming hole, his hand entangles in your hair.
The way you flick your tongue as you go is enough to kill him.
His whole body tenses. You take him all the way into your throat without cause for concern, slobbering all sloppy all over the base of his cock as you hold it there.
Wesker feels himself about to cum already. But so do you. So you part ways as fast as you can as you feel that pulsing, leaving him unfinished.
Or so he thought that’s what you were doing until you began to pull your own pants down.
His hands remove themselves from your locks, resting at his side as he waits for whatever it is you were planning. His eyes, half slit, watch your every step, looking you up and down as you strip for him. He tried his best to be patient, but he needed that release. More than anything.
“Come here,” he commands firmly, the frustration evident in his tone. “Now.” You would never deny him, not that you planned on it.
You straddle him, careful not to do any harm.
Sitting now on his lap, you position his hardness between the plush of your thighs. Your hands start to stroke him again, but the rough grip of your wrist forces you to a halt. “Ride.” he orders, leaving no room for leniency. He wanted it. Now.
The look in his eyes was almost pleading, but he’d never been the type to beg. He would have his way no matter the cost.
You position so your thighs rest on either side of his. He was wet enough from the saliva of your mouth, slipping into your tight hole with ease. He grits his teeth, grunting slightly as you slowly sink down on him.
The head of his cock reaches your untouched depths, making you squeeze tighter against him. “Such a good little toy for me,” he groans, hands gripping your hips. “Please your master. Don’t make me tell you again. Ride.”
You press your hands to his midriff to steady your balance. Slowly you slide back up, almost pulling him out. You were sucking him in too tightly to let go, even if you tried.
Either way, Wesker forces you back down with what little strength he had. “Faster.” he shouts, and you don’t hesitate.
You bounce on his cock, walls suffocatingly massaging his length inside. His head lulls back as things pick up pace, hands tightening their hold on you.
His hips move along with yours, the best they can. He was desperately chasing his high. After you stopped him mid release prior, he was feeling extra needy. He refused to allow that to happen more than once.
He slams into you at an ungodly pace, you can hardly keep your eyes open. He splits you open on his cock with no regard for your pleasure, only focused on his own.
You were the one who offered to be used, after all.
“You’re going to take every drop of my precious seed. Do you understand?” he growls almost incoherent, lost in the pleasure.
You plead yes, that you understand.
“Say it aloud. Tell me what you are to me.”
You try to gather your thoughts. He didn’t cease his assault, shaking you with every rough thrust. “Y-your cum slut..” you mewl out, hoping your decided answer was satisfactory enough.
“hnng- yes,” he moans out deeply. “My good little slut. I’m going to fill you up and you’re just going to let me.”
He bullies into you rapidly, forcing out your cries as he milks himself in your insides.
He doesn’t slow as he cums in spurts, coating your walls with his white fluids. He continues to stuff it deeper into you as he goes, draining everything he has into you.
It pools out on top of him, leaking messily onto the bed.
Wesker relaxes his hold, no longer feeling so tense and worked up. He collapses back onto the bed, a sweaty panting mess, leaving you to sit and warm his cock.
“You’re going to give yourself to me everytime i request, from now on.”
Much to your surprise, Wesker pulls you down against him, chest to chest. He was never once affectionate towards you before. But now here he is, face burrowed in the crook of your neck.
His hands comfortingly play with your hair, lightly scratching at your scalp.
You melt into him, completely basking in the aftermath and enjoying his rare, gentle touch.
“You’re sleeping here tonight,” he states matter of factly. “You did quite well for me. I think you’re deserving of some extra attention.”
mlist
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cheeseceli · 6 months
Text
First Relationships
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pairing: skz ot8 x gn!Reader (individually)
genre: fluff
request: i rlly like ur writing style and i immediately thought of you when i was being delulu over first relationships, so i thought about requesting how skz would react when they discovered they're the first person u dated! im sorry if it's confusing haha <3
warnings: tooth roofing fluff, not proofread
a/n: thank you!! ngl i was delulu when writing this lmao. hope u like it <3
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Bang Chan
So patient, it's crazy
Will never rush anything
Everything's at your pace
Hell, if you think it's too early for even holding hands, that's okay
He would always wait for you
And also, your comfort comes first
Always asks how you're feeling throughout whatever you're going through
Sorry but he 100% babies you as well
He finds you adorable
but tbh he'd do that anyways, the fact that it's your first relationship doesn't matter much in this case
Lee Know
Two scenarios
Will tease you relentlessly, no matter what you do
or
will be extra shy
but he'd also be so excited
it's like your little adventure and you two get to experience everything together
Technically it is but still
like, dates?
He is always so happy to take you to places
Anniversaries?
Even better
My man is just so happy to be there with you
Changbin
My man's honoured
He knows how perfect you are, and he knows you had a lot of options and opportunities before
So to think that you chose >him<
As I said, honoured
Besides spoiling you and treating you like royalty, he'd be really scared of messing up
But calm him down, say you love him and his confidence comes back at total strength
Would never even dare to rush you as well
His patience is also something that must be highlighted
Whatever it is, he will always wait for you to be ready
Hyunjin
The true romantic
He said once that he'd rather be someone's last love than the first one
So to think that he could be both your first and last love
He's so honoured
And giddy
But naturally he will be also really nervous at times
Forgive him if at times it seems he's the one that never had a relationship before
But it's true that it's his first time experiencing love so full like this
Han
There are two possibilities
He'll be pretty confident and maybe even kind of cocky
Will do the "I wonder who taught you how to kiss so well" knowing damn well it was him, sorry
Or
He will be extremely shy
You would even think it's his first relationship
In most cases, he is both at the same time
His duality is insane
Truly scared of messing up
But he is as always, trying his best
Everytime you're nervous he can handle the situation while being calm and humorous
We love him
Felix
He's a bit excited
A bit too excited
You know that Aladdin's song "Whole New World"?
He'd use it to describe your relationship
And he is the cutest
He's just so happy to be there :(
Everytime your relationship takes a step forward and you trust him a bit more, he becomes the happiest man in the world
He's truly grateful to have your trust
Needless to say, he will also always prioritise your comfort
Just say the word and he will do (or not do) whatever you'd like
Your wish is his command
Seungmin
Tries to no make a big deal out of it (kinda fails)
He doesn't want to make you uncomfortable by any means
So overall, he'll act normally
but he'd go as slowly as he can, trying not to scare you off
Scared of words as well
He doesn't want you to feel forced to reply something like "ilyt"
But one thing that is really cute is how he'll always talk you through it
Everytime you are doing something that is considered your first, like first date, first kiss etc
He always asks you if you like it and if you wanna keep going on
the kindest fr
I.N.
Truly, I don't think there'd be much of a difference
He'd be more careful and delicate when the occasion asked for it
but overall that'd be it
Similar to Seungmin, he'd try to not make a big deal out of it
He'd never admit, but sometimes he'd try to prove that he could be the best boyfriend ever because he was scared
He's kinda of a perfeccionist
He'd hate himself if one day he breaks you
He'd hate himself even more if he managed to break your perception of relationships as well
So he really tries his best all the time
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feedbacks and reblogs are always appreciated!
dividers by @cafekitsune
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