#me trying to hype myself up about going to the gym for the first time

[slfcare]

after it has been new, scary and uncomfortable, it’s going to be okay. isn’t that what we’re doing it for?

#me trying to hype myself up about going to the gym for the first time #on my own #with a disability #yikes #positive suggestions #positive thinking #suggestions #suggestion #comfort kindness family #self validation #positive #positivity #self love #self care #positive mental attitude #mental health

[mykoreanlove]

I loved your angst Jackson scenarios, can you do one with BM from Kard where his partner wants to break up with him but he's trying to prevent it but fails? Could be because he cheated or wasn't giving enough attention to them

Pleeeeaase and thank you

hey anon, thank you so much for reading and enjoying my stories - that means the world to me :)

you are the first request I ever had (yeyyyy) so I hope you like the story I came up with.

all the love xo

______________________________________________________________

BAGGAGE

“Where does this train even go?”, he mumbled under his breath.

Head tilted; he was watching the worldly scenery vanish quickly in front of him. He found comfort in the rapid change outside as his thoughts were racing equally hasty. He hadn’t heard from you in weeks but still he couldn’t stop thinking about you.

He composed the memories of you the same way he composed his songs.

First, he imagined your breathtaking visuals: your bright eyes, your cute nose and sensuous lips. Then, he added the sounds of your cute laughter and silent gasps. And lastly, he imagined you saying the most beautiful words: I love you, Matthew. I can’t picture my life without you, you’re all I need. Thinking of you like that always filled his heart with the utmost love. The warm fuzzy feeling spread through his whole body, leaving him happy and fulfilled. That tender feeling didn’t last long though, as the most recent memories clouded his mind too soon. What started out as the loveliest tune turned into the most caustic remix. Now he saw your tearful eyes and worried frowns, heard your desperate screams and spiteful words and listened to you breaking up with him. Those warm and fuzzy feelings turned icy, numbing his whole body.

He took a deep breath. “Fuck, I miss her so much. What should I do?”, he muttered silently. Once again, he grabbed his phone and opened your chat. Your picture was still there. He felt the relief as he realized you had not deleted his number – maybe you missed him, too? Maybe you were looking at your phone and hoping for him to text you, too? Hyped up by his delusional fantasies he decided to text you.

Y/N… I miss you.

Eyes glued to his phone, not daring to even blink. His throat was dry, hands jittery and stomach tied into a knot. “She will answer, won’t she?” He gasped as he saw you typing. By now his heart was beating as fast as the train was going.

I miss you, too.

His eyes lit up as he processed those words.

You do?

Of course, I do. I think about you all the damn time.

Are you serious?

Yes. You wouldn’t believe how often I picked up my phone just to text you.

Yet you didn’t…

Yeah, I decided it was better not to.

Why?

I don’t know, I just felt like it wasn’t right.

It didn’t feel right? Texting me didn’t feel right?

He felt his blood boiling up again.

Yeah, to be honest I didn’t feel like you treated me well, so I backed off.

Oh, that’s funny of you to say. I felt the exact same way.

You did?

Yeah.. I really struggled those past few weeks.

I’m sorry. I didn’t want to hurt you, Matthew.

Why did you though?

Do you want me to be honest?

He had to think about that for a while. Did he want your honesty? BM often thought about the possible downfalls of your relationship. Did he spend too much time on his music? Did he spend too much time in the gym? Did he not make you feel loved? Did he not please you sexually? Was there someone else? He ruminated on all those questions countless times and never found an answer. So maybe it was time to finally reveal the truth.

Yes please.

When I first met you, I was head over heels in love with you. I know this sounds cliché but it’s true. I never met someone like you before. You showed me parts of you that I adored so much, and you also showed me new sides of myself that I got to love as well. I loved spending time with you. We always had a great time, didn’t we? Kissing you, hugging you, laughing with you, fucking you, talking about serious stuff with you – that all felt so comfortable. I knew that I didn’t want to be in a relationship when I met you but given the nature of all this, I changed my mind about it.

BM scoffed as he read the last sentence; the hurt of you dumping him still deeply ingrained in his heart.

You changed your mind about it? And yet you threw me away like I was garbage?

I can see why you would feel that way. But don’t you think you dumped me first?

NO?!

BM never had a heart attack, but this had to be it. What was that supposed to mean? “How the hell did I dump you first? I’ve been crying for weeks because you left me and now you have the guts to tell me I did that to myself?”, he was furious.

What the fuck do you mean?

Matthew.. Don‘t you think that you broke us up yourself?

Are you serious right now? No. No, I don‘t think that. At all. You abandoned me!!

You abandoned me long before I did. Has that ever occurred to you?

Well, enlighten me please, how did I do that, huh?

Weren’t you the one that decided that this relationship, this thing between us, could not work? Weren’t you the one that decided that it was doomed from the start? Weren’t you the one that declared that I was going to break your heart?

For a moment he forgot how to breathe. He stared at the screen, unable to answer, unable to process what was happening.

Weren’t you the one that got so much into your head and focused on your fears? Weren’t you the one that was dead set on me hurting you? Weren’t you the one distancing yourself because you were afraid?

Tears were forming in the corner of his eyes.

Weren’t you the one that was convinced that I wasn’t serious about you? Weren’t you the one thinking that I must be fucking dudes on the side and only be toying with you? Weren’t you so sure about me being an easy girl that simply fucks around? Did you honestly think I would not notice this?

By now it was hard to read the messages, tears completely clouding his vision. “I never said that to her, what the fuck. It’s… it’s like she saw right through me. She saw what I was thinking about her, about us. How is that possible? How did she grasp my fears like that?”

Y/N

I-

Matthew, I wanted to love you. I wanted to stay by your side and build this beautiful connection I thought we shared. But you painted me as the bad guy. You made me into this menace that only used you for sex. You saw me as someone taking advantage of you and that irked me. I got so disgusted by you, that’s why I left. It felt unfair – you took my beautiful love and turned it into something so ugly. What does that say about you?

BM wiped away his tears, pulling his black beanie further down. Shame was flooding his whole body now. He asked for honesty, and he got it, all of this was true. What kind of person was he? Why the fuck did he always assume the worst? Why was he always sabotaging love? Deep down he knew why but he never had the courage to share his dark fears with others. Would it have been different if he had shared it with you? He started typing his reply to you, being totally honest and transparent for a change.

Y/N, you are right. About everything. I am so sorry. I am so sorry that I hurt you like that. I don’t know why I can’t stop doing that. I guess I’m just fucked up. I made horrible experiences in the past and got hurt, badly. I know I shouldn’t compare you to the girls I dated back then, honestly, I couldn’t even if I wanted to as they wouldn’t stand a chance. But the hurt they ingrained in me still lingers and that’s why I did that. I was afraid that you would break my heart. I was afraid that you would turn out like they did. I was afraid that this was too good to be true. And by fearing all that I created a monster. Out of myself and out of you. I am so sorry. You didn’t deserve that. Deep down I know how wonderful you are – that’s the reason I fell in love with you. My fear made me see things that were not there and by doing that I pushed you away. I get that now. I guess you're right – I did abandon you first, even if it was only in my mind. But somehow you caught on to that and now you’re-

BM’s breath got stuck in his lungs as he noticed your picture disappearing. He didn’t have the chance to finish his side of the story as you finished it for him. “Gone”, was the last word he muttered before he deleted his whole paragraph and put away his phone. He stared out of the window again, lost in thought, wondering if he could ever change.

#bm #bm kard #kard bm #kard x reader #matthew kim #mykoreanlove #fanfic #fanfiction #kpop smut #creative writing #kim jin seok #big matthew #big tiddy committee #big tiddy gf #kard #kard somin #kard jseph #kard jiwoo #kard x y/n #fanfic prompt #fanfic things #kpop fanfic #jseph #jeon jiwoo #jeon somin #kpop edits #kpop icons #kpop #yn #yn fanfic

[moonjxsung]

Pookie I feel like I'm doing something wrong in my life. I don't like how I look, and I weigh a lot. The people telling me to lose weight are completely right tbh. I should just lose weight. But everytime I try, my body physically can't. I've been thinking about starving myself and getting diet pills or something. I've been starting to starve myself, and I've noticed some changes

I don't know why I'm telling you this. I'm sorry. I have no one else to talk to other than you and this anon community.

TW: talks of weight & body insecurity 🫶

Pookie ☹️ first of all anyone who EVER tries to tell you what you should do or how you should change yourself is NEVER right. There’s no such thing as correctly putting someone down. That’s just called being a shitty fucking human being.

Second: Please don’t starve yourself my pookie. I know it’s also exhausting to hear people tell you the same version of “please eat!” But it truly has so many adverse effects and it’s not going to make you feel any better about yourself. It’s so important to be able to experience life and be present for all of it and be able to feel happy when you’re living for yourself and you can’t do those things when you’re depriving yourself of your body’s basic needs. You gotta be there for yourself, your body is relying on you!! Eat healthy if you want to and if you want a little treat then HAVE a little treat. Go to the gym if you want to and don’t go if you don’t want to. But whatever you decide, make sure you’re doing it for YOU. You can’t live your life giving in to the insults and demands from shitty people. You’d be trying forever if you did that (and life is too short to live that way!🫶)

Be there for yourself and be kind to yourself and allow yourself to take up space. Where what you want, act how you want, tune out people who don’t hype you up the way you deserve. But don’t ever allow yourself to give into negativity because that just spirals into a LIFETIME of trying to please other people. Talk kindly about yourself and take care of the vessel you’re in, it’s your HOME !! 🫶 I’m grateful for you always and grateful for your body and your mind and every little molecule in the universe that aligned so that you could be here and be present. And your weight is so, so beyond insignificant in the grander scheme of all that.

I’ll never forget a time my sister went on a crazy diet and lost a ton of weight, and someone we loved so dearly said to her “I hope you’re not doing it for anyone except yourself, don’t disappear on me!” And I think about that always. Don’t shrink yourself to please others! Don’t disappear on me for the sake of shitty people! It has to be YOU at the end of the day- every decision you make and every outcome that stems as a result. Be kind to yourself and if you look in the mirror today and hate your reflection imagine there’s a little Moonjxsung on your shoulder hyping you up.

OKAY? Okay. I love you (without bounds and infinitely more than that!) 🫶💓🫂

#ask

[alolanrain]

I’m calling myself out as well lmao dw

Question for the au: would anyone find out about ash dancing habit and if so how would they react? (I can see Brock finding out but idk) -🔶

Brock doesn’t actually find out surprisingly. The club scene in general isn’t his idea and he doesn’t go to local dance studios either as he doesn’t dance himself. Ash doesn’t like showing off in front of his traveling companions because he gets this gut feeling they’ll ask to many questions or brag about it to almost everyone they meet in some way. Like an anxiety thing instead of being pompous about it.

Dawn finds out about it because she decided to take a dance lesson a local club was hosting for her contest, it included their Pokémon partner so Dawn was getting inspiration from it. Brock and Ash went to do their own thing as they had wanted to just take a ‘me’ day as well. She ended up seeing Ash in another room like across the hallway from where her lesson was being held.

Rap and all sort of other music would change frequently in the room but she caught Ash going through a free style run to a Unovian pop song and him and his partner was really in sync. She stopped and watched in amazement with Piplup how Ash barely even sweat as he did all these crazy dance moves across the whole floor while the few other people with them were hyping him and his dance partner up. She ended up missing her lesson just to watch Ash, secretly because she’s just like that. 

Trip was the next to find out. Surprisingly going to the gym to work out himself and spotting Ash and Burgh of all people in a studio that was by the rack he was setting up at. He tried to ignore it but soon the two’s movements caught his eye. It was a mix of freestyle and ballet and honestly one of the coolest things Trip has seen in a while, though he’ll take it to the grave.

Trip had switched to a treadmill after a couple of minutes, not even finishing his set on the rack, because he couldn’t keep his eyes off the two. He could hear what Burgh was telling Ash though he could barley hear the music from the very sound proof room and the window pains shook just noticeably. He also didn’t know just how flexible Ash was at the moment.

Ash had joined a salsa/tango class in Kalos for the bell of it, after returning to Lumiose city with the gang and going off to get a breather from them, and he was surprisingly paired with Malva. He was new to the class and everyone else wasn’t so the instructor wanted to see where his skill lie. It was also the first time he met Lysandre but Ash didn’t know it at the time as the man looked nothing like the evil asshole during the Kalos Crisis. It wasn’t until later that Ash made the connection between the two.

Alola is rich with dance and music so the entire class knew about Ash’s like of performance, though not nearly the entire extent of it, so they were more then happy to try and teach him. Kukui even made it as a little class bonding event during school hours and a project for each student to learn one specific dance and try and teach it to Ash during the week.

The Professor, and Burnet later down the road, took to teaching Ash the slower dance’s. Kind of like a wind down method after a hard week or a particularly stressful day. Sometimes they didn’t even do Alolan dances, sometimes just having their own dance battles down at the beach and making fun of each other. Hau was on a mission to teach Ash more of the strict traditional dances before he left.

Gou and Chloe don’t know about Ash’s hobby, though their catching on to their friends disappearance act that he does every couple of times every week. Since he’s stationed in a well known town Ash is able to go to a lot more spots to freestyle with people and actually make connections that way.

They do catch him in the future though on a particularly rowdy night. A festival held in the honor of Mew and everyone was wearing mask’s and clothing both traditional and not to Kanto’s culture. A sort of dance mob surrounded the middle park of the city and Ash was in the direct center of it all, dressed as Lugia in non traditional clothing with his own painted mask that flowed in the dark. Other friends from his dance endeavors had joined him that night to do what they always do, this time in the midst of the public and giving out a free show to everyone, and they all made their clothes glow in the night sky.

The park they chose was gorgeous, street lamps weren’t on and instead lanterns and fairy lights strung from the tree’s. A gazebo located behind them and was used during all the coordinated dancing they did. Much like those dancing movies when that finally scene happens or something like that.

Goh and Chloe knew it was Ash by the sound of his voice and were openly surprised, like jaw to the floor, as Ash took charge of most of the group dancing. Being the center of attention for a good chunk but not the majority of the night, more so than anyone else in the group though, and he radiated confidence and cockiness through his motions. Definitely because of the veil and security of the mask in his face.



#ash ketchum #trainer goh #chloe cerise #Pokémon trip #gym leader burgh #pokemon dawn #break dance!au #I forgot the name I had it under #dance!au

[violet-kink-rambles]

Pt 1 | Working Late Too Often

Femme Feeder x Gender Neutral Feedee Themes: Workplace Setting, Weight Gain, Bribery, Intox, Stuffing, Public Stuffing, Soft Feedism, and the occasional Hard Feedism

Word Count: 4714

This is a slow burn story! I have no idea how many parts will be in this, but it will speed up over time. This part is just getting everything set up and some solo stuffing in the second half. No promises on when the next part is out, this was done over a few days but I've been in the mood to write lately so yeah :) Last thing before we start, nothing in this story is relevant to my real life except the starting dimensions and that I work in coding and graphic design. Use whatever names you want, you're the one reading it!

So I had just graduated college recently, it took 4 years of my life and more money than I wish to mention. But one of the things they forget to mention about computer science is just how long you’ll be sitting down every day. From 6 hours of classes to another 4 hours minimum at home to get your projects done you’re spending the majority of those 4 years sitting in front of a screen. Some might shy away from comp sci because of that alone… but that was one of the appeals for me. You see, I’m a bit of a fatty. I’ve never been super in shape, I’ve been on the thiccer side for as long as I can remember. But college reallllyyy made me blow up a bit, I went from a modest 6’3” and 225 to around 310 in only a few years! Sure I noticed it creeping up on me but to be honest… I kinda like it! I've just been eating what I want and waiting to see what happens.

My friends and family on the other hand have been on my ass about the gym and have kept offering me diet advice for the last couple of years now. Lately, it seems like the pressure has dropped off and they are finally accepting that this is just what I am now. Thank fuck for that, they just don’t get how hard it is to work out when you have to sit down for the majority of the day. After struggling to find a job for the first few months after graduation I finally got an interview at a mid-size startup! The pay isn’t great but the office offers decent benefits and they also offer meals at the office. Sure that can be kinda toxic since it encourages you to stay late but hey I’ll take what I can get. On the morning of the interview I was getting dressed to head out when I realized that I don’t have a proper fitting outfit, my shirt is taut against my torso and it was a bit uncomfy around the arms. And the pants… the fucking pants. I felt almost like a sausage casing, I was able to cover everything but there was no way I was gonna be able to hide how fat I am. Begrudgingly I picked up my bag and left the house, swearing to stop at a store to get a new wardrobe after the interview.

On the drive over I couldn’t help but feel hungry. If you know anything about America(especially Texas) then you know that you can't drive more than a block or 2 in town without seeing some restaurant or fast food place. As well as the pinnacle of fast food, the greatest to ever do it. Speckled all across the state like a fuck ton of salt on a table you can get food from the tastiest, most consistent, and most bang for your buck place of all. Whataburger, the bane of every fatass in Texas. It's hard not to stop there when the burgers are as big as your head, swapping fries for onion rings at no extra cost, and the drink sizes being pushed down one size. A medium is 32oz, and the large at a whopping 44oz, while a 2 liter of soda is 67oz. For $10-13 a fatty can be full with some great southern comfort food. I really wanted to stop but if I did then my outfit would be even worse! Deciding against it and just going hungry, I pull into the office parking lot about 10 minutes later and try and hype myself up.

“Ok V, you got this shit, light fucking work! You’ve done more leetcode over the last year than you thought you would in a fucking lifetime! You’ve got your degree, and you’ve done everything you can. If they don’t wanna hire you then it’s their loss!” I got out of the car and sauntered over to the building brimming with confidence despite my tight outfit. When I got inside and up to the 4th floor where the office was I saw this cute receptionist, your stereotypical brunette woman with a little bit of extra meat on her bones. She was on a call so I just waited for her to finish. A glance around the room gave me some high hopes about the environment I might be working in. On the wall a big mural of what appears to be a shaman meditating atop a hill, the grass closest to him overgrown compared to the rest and speckled with flowers. It just calmed me down a lot because it made me feel like personal growth is important here. But then all of a sudden the woman behind the counter greeted me.

R - Receptionist R- “Hey! What can I do for you today?” Me- “ Hey! I’m just here for the 2pm interview for the programming position you guys had listed” R- “Ah gotcha! You’re a little early but she should be ready for you, just head down the hall and knock on the 6th door to your right” Me- “Thanks! Hopefully, we will be working together soon :)” Walking down the hallway I’m really liking the aesthetic of this place, some off-white walls with an almost rosy black trim. You can just tell there’s been a lot of money put into this place from all the furnishings. Off to the left, I see a large open room through the glass wall, a lot of spacious cubicles, and what I can only describe as “groovy” corporate artwork on the walls. It’s an open-concept office, with not a lot of closed off areas except the personal offices to my right. After getting to the 6th door I take a deep breath and knock, before hearing a sweet sounding voice call out “Come in!” Opening the door I see a beautiful office, a bunch of personal items, books, and a MacBook with stickers on the back on her desk. But the real knockout is the woman in front of me. A powerful looking woman with ginger hair to right above her shoulders, her body tight and built, dressed in a rose/peach pantsuit looking like it had just been steamed and ironed that morning. She’s extremely well put together, while I on the other hand am stuffed into an outfit that probably stopped fitting well a few months ago. I only took a glance at her before she greeted me, and I reminded myself I'm in interview mode. Gotta nail this and land the job.

Int- Interviewer Int- “Hey you’re the 2 o’clock right? Have a seat :)” Me- “Yep that’s me! Hope you’re doing well today :) I have a booklet I brought with me that has all my certifications if you’d like to look through it” Int- “Sounds good! My name is Kirsty, it’s nice to meet you :) What’s your name?” Me- “Ah sorry that was rude of me, my name is Violet :)” Kirsty- “Haha don’t worry about it, this field is full of introverts so I’m used to it” I set it on her desk and sit down, hearing the chair groan ever so slightly my face flushes red. Fuck I hope she didn’t hear that. She glanced through the booklet and asked me a bunch of the typical interview questions, then the technical part of the interview came along and instead of taking the full 45 minutes I was provided I finished the coding problem in about 20.

Me- “Ok, I believe I have it right. I’ve accounted for all exceptions and the code is running smoothly. No hiccups.” Kirsty- “Well that was fast! Let me see”

She takes the laptop and looks at the code for a few minutes while asking some more questions. I keep noticing though that it doesn't really look like she’s looking at the screen. It seems like she's looking just to the side of it, her desk is pretty big so maybe I'm wrong? Not really sure

Kirsty- “This is some concise and.. tight code, some good notation and comments, you meet what we’re looking for and from talking with you I think we can work well together” Me- “Wait really? So I have the job??” Kirsty- “If you want it, it's yours :) We just have some paperwork to do and you can start the monday after next ” Me- “I- I’d love to accept this job, I’m just surprised since I've heard so many horror stories in college about people having to do like 30 interviews to land a job even when they met all the requirements” Kirsty- “Well you aced the technical portion, you have all the certificates required and then some, and you’ve been a pleasure to talk to. You’re not too shabby Violet :)” Me- “Th- Thankyou :) I don’t know what else to say”

After that I read through and signed the paperwork then left Kirsty’s office, she told the receptionist to give me a tour of the office so I can see where everything is. While taking the tour I learned the receptionist’s name is Heather and she led me through the office introduced me to a few people I'll be working with, and showed me where everything is.

Heather- “You know.. I’m a bit surprised, we’ve been trying to fill that position for months. To be honest I had seen your resume this morning and write you off immediately, straight out of college and you landed this. I don’t know what you did there but you obviously did something right.” Me- “Wait really? All I did was get the technical part done quick and show her my certificates” Heather- “Everyone does that, she gives you 45 minutes but it should take only 30 at most” Me- “Oh.. I guess she just must’ve liked my energy then, either way, I got the job so the specific reason doesn’t matter to me.” Heather- “Yeah well… oh well you’re right. You got the job so who am I to question Kirsty. Are there any more questions you have about the office?” Me- “Just one, I heard there was a no limit kitchen here. Like you guys provide meals and stove tops, is there actually no limit to using those amenities?” Heather- “As long as you hit your deadlines you can even watch Netflix at your desk, we only care about results here… We’ll if that’s all you got for me then I’m gonna head back to my desk” Me- “Can't think of anything else, thanks for the tour :) See you in 2 weeks!”

And with that I left the office, I don’t think it had hit me at that point that I got hired. It felt so surreal! But when I got back to my car… I saw my reflection in the driver's side window. my fucking belly was hanging out the bottom of my shirt ever so slightly, bunching around my midsection in a way that made my belly button outline really noticeable. Me- “Are you FUCKING kidding me??? God dammit V. This better have just happened. I swear to god if I just did an interview and an office tour in front of everyone like this I’m going to toaster water myself.”

After getting in my car and driving off I hear my stomach growl. I know I shouldn’t eat after what just happened but at this point I’m starving. I pulled out my phone and opened the Wingstop app, like 6 months into college we were hosting parties and sporting events at our apartment. Wingstop is perfect for that, everyone pitches in and you can get so many wings it's unreal. I racked up so many reward points that it's become a staple in my diet. After looking at the menu I order my usual, just a 10pc with fries, and a drink. “You know, this is a time to celebrate.. I'm gonna have to buy new clothes anyways.. fuck it” And that's when I see it, the deal of a lifetime. $17 for 20 wings, 2 large fries, and 4 sauces. That could last me for a while, I considered swapping it with what's in my cart but.. What if I didn't? Would it really be that bad? I've got 2 weeks anyways.. And besides, it's not like I'm gonna eat it all tonight.

After adding it to my cart and getting the delivery started I headed home. 45 minute wait, I cleared out my fridge last night, I just haven't gotten to the store lately so the rations are low. Still stoked about the job but my hunger is giving me tunnel vision at this point, and that's when I see it. That beautiful orange and white building, it's weird almost tent-like shape off in the distance, Whataburger. As I get closer to it I'm fighting in my head, “Yo Wingstop is gonna take forever, fuck it why not?” while the other side of me is trying to be reasonable since I just ordered like 30 wings and 2 large fries. Needless to say, I ended up pulling in, I've just been eating more recently and It's not as if this will affect me too much at this point. I pull into the drive-through and get a patty melt meal, it's one of their smaller sandwiches but that doesn't mean anything when compared to another fast food chain. It's 2 big patties probably a ¼ pound each with cheese served on Texas toast. I also got my drink and onion rings as well with my order. After going through the drive-through and paying I couldn't help myself and had to eat some onion rings on the way home. Sipping on a massive dr pepper as I do so. Once I got home I hurried up the stairs, still having about 25 minutes until the Wingstop should get here.

As soon as I get inside my apartment I turn on the TV and open Netflix on my phone. After finding a show to watch I screencast it over and get to work on the food. The patty melted steaming hot and so greasy on the first bite that I just knew it'll sit heavy in my belly. I had finished the onion rings in the car and was a little disappointed, but decided to just get the large onion rings next time. The Whataburger is on the way home from the office so I can only imagine I'll become a regular there. It's not an exaggeration to say that one meal from there can feed you for a whole day. For a normal sized person that happens more than you'd think. Within 10 minutes I was already starting to sip my drink dry, I just couldn't stop eating… but I'm still hungry. I just sorta went on autopilot and munched away. Realizing I still had about 15 minutes until the wing stop arrived I got out my rolling tray and rolled up a joint. It's sort of becoming a habit lately but what can I say, it makes the world a bit less gray and also makes food taste soooo much better. I grab my dr pepper and head outside a couple of minutes later after it's rolled.

Walking out onto my dingy little balcony that's actually just a window you fold up and can take only one step onto I look over the city around me. Will I still be here in a year? Will I move into a better place? Will I get some stupidly big promotion and move into a high rise? Or something in between… While I'm out there I look back on what's happened today. I got a job! Like a real adulting job! I'm nervous, anxious, and excited, but ready. It seems like a great environment with great people, I just gotta do what I can to prove I belong there. After going through almost all of the joints I get a notification that the Wingstop is here. I run on over to the door quickly to make sure my neighbors don't take it. Let's just say my apartment complex isn't exactly a place for blue collar workers. Hell, my dealer lives 1 building over and he's got a decent amount of competition here. I take the Wingstop inside and set it on the counter. I knew that I'd have some of it later when the munchies kicked in but for now I was gonna finish that joint. Out on the balcony again I just realize that everything is gonna work out, everything is fine and I finally have the chance to prove myself!

After finishing the joint and closing the window I head on over to the bathroom to clean up a bit and get these clothes off of me. I hadn't thought about it but my clothes were a LOT tighter now than this morning, my figure in the mirror catching my eye and forcing me to pay attention to it. I didn't want to admit it but this was another sign that I needed to just accept it. For whatever reason… I like being fat.. i really like it.. I've tried to understand it for a while now and I've tried going to the gym, anything I could do to be normal. Most people aren't like this. But whatever the reason, I just need to accept it. I start fondling my belly, pinching it, grabbing the bottom roll, and then lifting it and dropping it. It just moves so.. gracefully. So unlike anything else I've seen. I took off my outfit and the speed at which my shirt buttons separated was almost scary. But I'd be lying if I said it didn't make the situation fluster me even more. My belly falls an inch or 2 lower and jiggles back and forth, the recoil drawing me in for a short couple of seconds. Undoing the pants wasn't any better. The moment I undid the button my fupa sprung forward, immediately filling the space where my zipper once was. After stripping down to my underwear I got unbelievably horny, the sight of my body sent me into heat and made me hungry as well. The thought of being even fatter floods my mind and makes me salivate. Instinctively I begin to caress and jiggle my belly, the soft dough-like mass giving way to my hands at the slightest push.

I snap out of it after another 20 seconds and remember the Wingstop, it hadn't been long at all since I chowed down on the Whataburger but at this point, I didn't care. My lust and yearning for hedonism were in full force tonight and I wasn't about to deny myself this feeling.

I hurry over to my desk in the living room and open one of the drawers in my sectional. I've been saving some weed gummies for a rainy day, to be honest, I didn't expect to use them for something like this. I just know that if I eat one or 2 of them then my appetite will be insatiable. I'll just be able to keep going and going. As I pop one of them into my mouth I can't help but be happy that I got an extra Wingstop, this is a day to celebrate and I might as well go hard with it. If I'm gonna do it then I'm gonna do it right. I start digging into the bag and pull out all the boxes of food. Laying it out on the table I see that I have a bit of a challenge ahead of me. 30 wings, 2 large fries, and a bunch of different sauces. I then open up my fridge and refill my dr pepper from Whataburger.

I already know that I'm gonna have a food coma by the end of this. No matter how long it takes, I am going to eat everything in sight. I have already resolved myself to that and there was no way my horny brain was gonna go back on that. After getting a plate and stacking it tall with about half of the food I turn my show back on. Carrying everything over to the couch the weight of all the food is intoxicating. Just knowing that I'm about to put multiple pounds of food into my belly and bloat myself up with what's basically just pure sugar is making me so filled with lust that the moment I sit down I dig in immediately. The speed at which I'm eating would make you think I hadn't eaten in days. As I'm eating I can feel all of the food slipping down my greedy maw, coated in so much sauce that it slides down with ease. If someone saw me like this they would probably be aghast, horrified at the spectacle of pure greed and gluttony before them. But I just kept going, I haven't paid attention to my show for at least a few minutes. I just kept going with reckless abandon, I didn't care about the consequences, I didn't care about how full I was starting to feel, all I cared about was getting the next bite of food down. My stomach becomes redder and redder, eventually, I feel the pain kick in, only a few chicken wings left and about half a large fry… And I still felt determined to eat more, I had already eaten enough for many people but I just couldn't stop thinking about finishing my plate.

After rubbing my belly for a few minutes I get back to work on the plate, I’m eating slow and just sipping on my soda at this point. The pain and pleasure mixed together to send me into a euphoric daze. As I get to the last bite I’m feeling more pain than pleasure, it feels like my skin is stretching and tearing. When I swallowed the last remaining wing slathered in honey mustard I moaned loud and hard. The pressure inside my overfed gut is immense, but I know that I have something left, the soda. About a third of my drink is left and I’m sluggish, while slowly sipping the remaining liquid it feels like my belly is getting more solid. My hand grazes over it and makes me wince in pain when I press down just a little too hard. The images of Roman royalty grazing on food being brought to them by servants cross my mind, the thought of their lives and how great it would be to have someone feeding me overwhelms me. I drain the remaining soda and set the empty cup down, it falls over onto its side as I had just let my arm fall away from me. My whole body feels heavy and tight. It feels like one wrong move could tear me open. But it felt like pure bliss, like nothing in the world really mattered except for this right here.

Over the next couple of hours, I top myself up with wing stop and soda until I notice what time it is. It’s almost midnight and there are only a few wings left, so I open the sauce containers and get to work. The prospect of all the excess calories running through me is winning and I'm not stopping now. I’ve been stuck in this gluttony driven daze ever since I got back to my apartment, whatever came over me has complete control at this point.

“oook.. ughh alright, I gotta hic lay down” Through all my little groaning and moaning I pick up the to-go box and lay down with it. Propping it atop my belly and preparing myself to finish it off. Through slow and labored bites it all ends up going right past my greedy little lips and down my throat. Even my soda was almost empty now, the sugar high mixed with the meat sweats surely about to send me into a food coma. As I got to the last wing I could barely taste it, the pain in my belly was so prominent that I could barely hear the show on my TV. But as the final wing passed down my throat I had an awakening in me. Pure hedonistic bliss erupted from my body, the dopamine centers in my brain working overtime. I was already subtly rubbing my belly trying to relieve some pressure but now I couldn't help but shake it. Each motion up and down gave me instant gratification, it was as if my serotonin was on a faucet and I could just get more whenever I wanted. Every breath made my body feel tighter and tighter as I kept fondling this surprisingly hard softness.

“Oooh.. god damn. if I knew.. overeating could do this to me… ughh,, I'd have done it a long time ago” I'm not sure how much time had passed at that point, but I didn't care. Focusing on anything else just seemed like a waste of time and I wasn't sure how long this pleasure was gonna last. I kept fondling my body for a while and eventually remembered I had just a little bit of dr pepper left. It already felt like my belly was going to rip open at any moment, but about 10 cautious sips later it was all gone… I couldn't believe how much food I ate. Sure I had gone to the bathroom a couple of times since the interview and freed up some space, but still.. A patty melt, onion rings, 30 wings, a fuck ton of fries, and more soda than I wish to remember. It was dark out by this point so this had to have taken almost 6 hours. Taking a glance around the room I spot my rolling tray on the table. There was no way I could roll a joint right now because of how sluggish I am but thankfully I have my pipe. I tried to scoot back a bit to prop myself up more but every movement was making the pressure in my stomach higher and causing me to almost pass out! Deciding against trying to move out of my fresh couch divot I swing my hand over to the table and get ahold of my pipe, extremely proud of my stoner etiquette. If you don't know, if you don't have to hide your weed it's good to leave a fresh bowl of weed after you smoke. Saves you time and you'll still know if someone smoked your shit since it's a fresh bowl.

That's beside the point though, after bringing the pipe to my lips I realize how hard it's gonna be to get a proper hit. My breathing was already very labored and short by now, but I had already gotten this far and it wasn't as if I had any plans that night. Even if I did… they'd be canceled, for one there's no way I could go, and two this feels wayyy too good. The first hit made me cough hard, I could just barely hit the bowl. Take as deep of an exhale as I could muster, I then hit the bowl again. Over the next couple of seconds, I could feel all the food packed into my belly pushing back against my lungs. With a quick exhale and setting the pipe back down I was sure I would cough but I didn't. All I felt was my brain swelling with thc, instinctively I began to massage my belly and began just thinking to myself. groaning “It'd be great to do this more often.. I don't see why not?? The job pays well enough to afford the food! And besides… if it makes me feel this good then it's more of an investment than anything else right? It's not like it'll be a daily thing so I'm not gonna THAT fat right? I'm pretty big already but if I just do some cardio on the days I don't eat like this maybe I can stay this size?”

Not too long after some more caressing of my swollen belly I drifted off to sleep.

#violet stories #intox feedee #weight gain #glorifying obesity #again no promises on when the next is out

[shadowonwater]

Pokemon Scarlet Playthrough: Part the 7th, I get lost again but this time it's the mountains and tunnels, I fought a hungry businessman, and then got lost again but even worse

So as I always do, I wondered off and got a bit lost in the mountains. I was exploring while trying to make my way to the normal gym. First I thought I was wondering off in the tunnels before realizing I was going the right way. Then I back tracked so I could explore more. My rock salt friend evolved again, now it looks like a golem. And my starter evolved to it's finale form too.

I wondered around the mountains for awhile before being like, "I should save this for later." So I'm going to do it later. I ran into a Hawlucha 10 levels above me and I was like "I don't feel like dealing with this."

I ran into another absurdly high level wild Tera Pokemon, like the Espeon. It was an ice Lucario this time. It was level 75. And I was like, "NOPE" So I ran.

I ran into some new Pokemon. He would have guessed that Frill Pokemon would evolve into an Ostridge. I expected it's evolution to look ugly like Slurpuff's evolution looks. But it actually looks great!

One thing I always thought to myself was that if there was going to be a grass/fire Pokemon it would be a pepper. I was right! Called it! So I now have the pepper pokemon.

I also saw the new dragon line. I saw a piece of artwork with it along with other dragons, so I assume that's what it is. I tried to catch it but I didn't know it was ice type, maybe I should have guessed from the name, but I used a super effective move and it fainted.

I also caught the ice whale and ghost dog. I was talking in the last post about trying to get a female Salandit. no need now, I caught a Salazzal in the wild, I'm all good.

Also I underrated how fun High Jumping would be, it's pretty cool actually. So yeah that's it of this session. Gonna play more later. You don't have to wait though, it's all in the same post.

Very short session because I got hungry. Got into the town w/ Normal Gym, currently exploring town before fighting Larry. I know he's popular, so let's see what all the fuss is about. Tinker evolved into Tinkerton. And I caught another Pokemon that I have never seen before, some sort of stork called Bombirdier. So yeah that's it, will play more after I eat.

Speaking of eating... I have completed the normal gym! I really liked the test for this one, it was fun running around town and gathering the info I needed for the test. The battles ended up being kinda easy because I was over leveled and was using a kick ass Flamingo with really high attack, that was holding a held item that increases physical move damage. Seriously, my Wowza is a powerhouse.

I don't I ever mentioned this but I really love the theme that plays when the gym leaders do the Tera thing, it's a hype theme. I also love Tera raid music, but I especially love the music you get when you complete a Tera Raid.

So yeah, kind of ironic that I got really hungry right before the Normal Gym. Larry's alright, I do find it funny that he doesn't really seem to take his Gym Leader position that seriously. It seems like a side gig/hobby to him. I wonder what his actual job is though, is he like an accountant or something? I can't help but wonder how he became a Gym Leader because he doesn't strike me as the sort of person who would go out of his way to get that position.

In unrelated news, what I thought might be undisguised Mimikyu was 100% not that. It was just a big grasshopper. In my defense, you don't really get that much detail in the little map sprites. It's still implied that there is an undisguised form out there, and I want it.

So apparently I can change my Pokemon's Tera type if I get enough shards. I was wondering what the shards are for because I already found a few. So the chef lady is going to cook them into a dish that can do that... I wonder what eating a Tera shard is like, is it like rock candy? Does it get crushed up to become like some sort of weird salt/seasoning? I wonder about the logistics.

So I asked the nurse where I should go next and she said the Dragon Titan. But I'm looking at the map and I'm like r u serious? That's an island! Koraidon can't swim! Is there like a ferry or something? I guess I'll try to see if it's possible but I'll probably end up going someplace else.

Yeah it's impossible, I can't swim and the Pokemon around the area are a bit overleveled for me. I don't know why she told me to go over there. I ended up wondering around A LOT. And catching lots of Pokemon!

I finally caught a Goomy! I tried to catch a Toedstool but this is the 2nd time that it was actually shapeshifter in disguise. I caught a Giraferig, evolved it, and replaced my Tinkerton with it. It's undrleveled compared to the rest of my party but I was just really excited to finally get one. I managed to catch a Pachirisu, they kept getting away from me by climbing up trees, but not this time! I got chu! Also caught the Dung Beetle. I caught another Gimmighoul, but it's much higher level now.

I caught the baby version of the pepper monster I mentioned earlier in this post. I also managed to catch a Tatsugiri. They were in the area that was ovreleveled for me. I only have one form though, they keep using Memento and fainting.

I also evolved some Pokemon using exp candy. So I now have a Dachsbun, Espartha, and Dolliv. I suspect Dolliv evolves one more time.

Anyway there were other Pokemon I caught/Evolved but they aren't worthy of note.

I visited Porto Marinada. The auctioneers there pretty much told me to fuck off. I guess I have to unlock that at a later point. I decided to choose between the water gym and the ground titan as my next target, and I choose the ground titan. The water gym after that, the the dark star raid. Maybe after I beat the ground titan I can swim.

I saw but didn't catch a "Veluza", a Dratini, and also these giant catfish. I wonder if that catfish Pokemon has an evolution now or if this is an unrelated mon. Just checked Pokedex, no room for it to have an additional evolution, must be something new.

Checking the Pokedex... I don't think Kilowattrel evolves again, I'm pretty sure the space after it is meant to be Eevee. Anyway... I think I'm going to leave this post off around here. Next post will probably have a bunch more actual progression.

#pokemon #pokemon scarlet #pokemon sv #playthrough #first playthrough #live posting

[shxtodxroki]

Can I request a match up? Can it be male gender? And also class 1a

I'm a girl who's 5'3" with a curvy body and medium, wavy chestnut hair. I have chubby cheeks with a bit of acne.

I tend to keep to myself but not in mysterious type, but rather distrustful due to being hurt in the past. I often try to keep my distance from people, scared of the betrayal feeling, but once you get to know me, I'm actually very calm and loving. However, I do get nervous when talking to people and fear of messing up, which is another reason why I'm very antisocial.

I, often carry this dumb energy that's energetic and enthusiastic behavior that lacks thoughtfulness or intelligence. It may involve impulsive actions or reckless behavior without considering the consequences.

In my free time, I enjoy working out to stay fit. When i want to unwind and relax, I listen to music. I also like to cook and bake, to experiment different recipes and ingredients. I find it calming to focus on a recipe and create something delicious from scratch.I also enjoy solitary hobbies like reading or watching movies. These types of hobbies can provide a sense of escapism and allow me to relax and recharge my batteries.

I don't know how to describe myself

I'm sorry if this is difficult for you. (⁠╯⁠︵⁠╰⁠,⁠)

Don’t worry about describing yourself, you did great and this was more than enough for me to write a match-up for you anonie! Thank you for sending in a request, I hope you see this and that you enjoy your match-up! :D

I’d Match You With: 

Izuku Midoriya! 

Reasoning:

You two honestly just seem like you’d fit well together to me based off of your description of yourself, he understands your anxieties and fears of betrayal and he’s the perfect boyfriend to help ease those fears and treat you the way you deserve to be treated, while also having fun, relaxed times together :]

Headcanons About Your Relationship:

- First of all, Izuku absolutely adores your chubby cheeks! They’re probably his favorite physical feature on you, he loves pressing light kisses to them or poking them gently when you’re feeling down in hopes of making you smile, he’s just really enamored with your precious chubby cheeks :D

- Izuku knows that you have trouble trusting and opening yourself up to people, and he’s very understanding about that fact. Of course he wants to eventually introduce you to his friends and bring you closer to the other people in his life that he cares about, but he takes that process step-by-step with you at whatever pace you’re comfortable with. He’d never push you too far or make you uncomfortable, but he’s good at helping you slowly work through your fears and grow closer to his friends and family

- He also has a tendency to be reckless and/or impulsive, so Izuku’s never going to scold you or make you feel bad for your impulsive actions. He knows he’d be a hypocrite for doing so, so instead, he just focuses on trying to make sure you never accidentally hurt yourself when you get overly excited or impulsive, and he’s always happy to help patch you up if you do find yourself slightly injured 

- Izuku never thinks your energetic or enthusiastic bursts are dumb or unintelligent, he loves seeing you feel so happy and carefree for once and he encourages you to just let yourself feel energetic in those moments. He’ll do whatever he can to keep your mood up during those times, just tell him what you need because he wants you to feel energized and positive and to not feel ashamed for those moments

- Izuku loves working out with you! As a hero-in-training he constantly needs to be in the best shape possible, so he loves to join you in the gym if you're willing to let him :) Even if you two aren’t doing the same sets or exercises, he’s happy to accompany you and share your progress with one another at the end of each work-out (and he totally hypes you up for the progress you've made and/or the work you've done, he's the most supportive boyfriend in the world)

- Izuku’s honestly not the best at cooking or baking lol, he’s kind of a disaster in the kitchen (when he was younger he nearly started a fire trying to cook eggs and burnt them to a crisp, and his mom hasn’t let him near the kitchen since) But he wants to learn! He wants to have the basic life skills to at least be able to cook a basic meal for the two of you so that you don’t get stuck with all the cooking responsibilities, so if you’re willing to teach him and let him watch as you cook or bake, he’ll be a very thankful, happy boyfriend ^^

- Izuku knows that certain hobbies of yours, like reading, are your individual hobbies that you use to unwind and recharge your battery, so he knows not to disturb you during those times. He understands your need for space sometimes, just communicate and let him know when you need a bit of alone time and he’ll spend his time talking with his friends on the phone or watching a movie in the living room while you take the time you need to rejuvenate your energy

- Izuku also knows that you enjoy listening to music, so he frequently makes playlists full of songs he hears that reminds him of you :> When one of his playlists gets too long he’ll send it to you and start a new one, so every few weeks you get a playlist full of cute songs that make your sweet boyfriend think of you and your relationship :] (Please make him a playlist too, he doesn’t care what’s on it! Just the fact that you thought of him and put your time into making a playlist that reminded you of him is enough to absolutely melt his fragile heart :’) )

Song For Your Relationship:

Line Without a Hook by Ricky Montgomery

#{✏️} - bee's writing #{💭} - bee answers #{💬} - requests #{🌱} - anonies #mha matchup #mha matchups #bnha matchups #mha x reader #bnha x reader #mha x you #bnha x you #mha x y/n #bnha x y/n

[goosecorp]

Released

This is something that happened around the time Sword And Shield was still the latest game in the Pokémon series, so this is a pretty old story and my memory isn’t the greatest, but I’ll try to tell it as truthfully as possible, also, I’m writing this on my phone so I’m sorry for any formatting issues.

I am a big fan of the Pokémon series, and pretty much been here for awhile, however, despite that, my first Pokémon game that I ever got to play was Pokémon Sword & Shield, and even then, that was on my friend’s switch at school, so when I finally got my own switch with my own copy of Pokémon Shield, I was hyped. Unlike with the save on my friend’s switch, I took my time lovingly crafting all of my Pokémon team, and including my favorites such as Yamask, Slowpoke, and the most recent ones at the time such as the Galarian Zigzagoon evolution line and the Grookey evolution line, however the Pokémon of interest in this story is this Low Key Toxtricity named “TOXIC MIST!!”

Yeah, yeah, spooky Pokémon in the game next thing I’m gonna tell ya is Missingno. appeared and deleted my save, but no, up at this point the game played as normal, beating the gyms, beating other trainers, and then going camping, I favored the Toxtricity the most during camping, I really liked it’s design, despite how simple it was in actuality, it definitely climbed the ranks of my favorites fast, and  it was definitely my most used pokemon, or at least second most used, first place went to my Rillaboom, since he was a Grade-A tank.

But I beat the game, facing minor bumps (Rose literally sucks, screw steel-types forever), and I decided as celebration for my pretty clean playthrough of the game, I spin a wheel and release a random Pokémon on my main team, y’know, give them freedom away from my character (silly I know, let me be happy ok), I put every-Pokémon on my team on an online wheel website, and spun it, it ended up landing on Toxic Mist, of course her being one of my favorites I re-spun, again, and again, and again, but every time it landed right back on Toxic Mist, I felt awful letting go of one of my favorites but I just soothed myself imagining that Toxic Mist would run off into it’s own habitat and be happy, maybe even visit my trainer character sometimes, I remember this bit clearly since I drew doodles of this scenario later.

I released Toxic Mist and then moved on, I think ended up getting bored after I finished the story-mode and moved onto other things since I didn’t have the DLC, I ended up resetting my save to redo the story mode a couple months later with a different batch of Pokémon.

This is where the game started acting up, and things felt…weird, I felt like I was being watched, I even ending up taping my curtains to block any gaps, but that feeling never left, in-fact, it got worse by the time I found myself at the Giant’s Mirror part of the Northern Wild Area, thats when I found a Low Key Toxtricity, but something about it was off to me, something about it paired with the fact I felt watched made me deeply afraid of this specific Toxtricity, I approached it anyway, because it’s just a Pokémon character, nothing it could do could effect me in real life, plus it was just standing there doing nothing even after I got close enough to the point it should of reacted so I assume it was a bugged Pokémon.

I was proven wrong as soon as I engaged battle with it, for some reason the encounter played as if I was battling a trainer, it also let out this ear-piercing ringing sound, it was so loud I turned my switch’s volume down to mute, before I continued I looked at the Pokémon but couldn’t see anything but it’s back due to the camera angle, but thats when I noticed the name “TOXIC MIST!!” spelt the exact same way I named my own Toxicity from my previous save, I thought it definitely had to be some bug at managed to save bits of my previous data to the game and loaded it where it didn’t belong, which was strange since I didn’t encounter  any other bugs before this point.

Bug or not, I was immediately proven wrong when I proceeded and it finally showed it’s face, but the way it did it was it  curled backwards like that one clip from The Exorcist, and when I saw it’s front I was immediately stunned by a mixture of shock and fear, mainly shock, It’s front was a messed up slurry of textures that I’ve never seen the game, but the part I focused on the most was it’s neck, for some reason it’s neck had been entirely split open like someone slit it, instead of blood like you would expect it was just foamy, I didn’t know how to respond to this, so I tried attacking it, after my turn was done I felt my switch start to heat up quickly, I immediately turned off my switch and the heat died down almost immediately.

After a couple tests my switch turned out to be fine and so was the data of the other games on it, but just to be safe I’ve deleted Pokémon Shield off of my switch, that moment still stresses me out whenever I try to figure out what happened to my game during that moment, but the only thing I do know is that I’m not risking my hands nor my switch to test something that only affects one game that was on it.

[[End-Post Author's Note: This was based off a TikTok clip by oslith, check out the clip here: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRVARULN/ or don't...I don't really care.]]

#[goosehonks] #pokepasta #pokemon #cw gore #tw gore #[[do I need to tag gore if It's writing???]] #pokemon creepypasta #[[hehe I'm a little writer]] #pokemon toxicity #pokemon sword and shield

[decepticon-nerd]

My problem with Pokémon right now is that most of these past generations (SwSh, BDSP, and now SV) have been hyped up to the degree of making you want to shell out between $60.00-$120.00 USD but have come out quite lackluster, but by the time you find that out, Pokémon, Game freak, Nintendo, whoever the hell owns it now. They've already made that money.

I'm gonna gripe about them and this is my personal opinion. I will state now that I am a long time fan of Pokémon; the first game I played was Gold and the first game I bought for myself was Diamond. I am old enough to remember when Black and White 1 had commercials on TV (which is saying something because my memory is atrocious) and I've played at least one game from every generation.

In other words my post is probably gonna be biased.

I had some fun playing Sword and Shield. The plot was decent enough to keep me interested, as were the cool designs of a handful of new Pokémon. Snom, Obstagoon, and Corviknight are my favorites from that generation, probably. The starters are all lackluster and I usually shove them in my box after catching something else. And in terms of designs, can someone please tell me what the fuck Pokémon was thinking when they made Swordward and Shieldbert?

The wild area we were promised wasn't as expansive as we thought, the weather feature was weird as heck, the render distance was abysmal. So they release a DLC for the Isle of Armor and the Crown Tundra. Genuinely love the DLC and how much more you can explore. I don't remember how much the DLC was, but it was like.. $30.00 USD or something to get both of them.

The DLC gave us back one beloved feature that the game devs have failed to provide since Gen 4. Pokémon could walk with us again. You could only walk with them on the Isle or in the Tundra, though. I essentially payed $30.00 for one of my favorite features and said feature ran like shit. My Golisopod walked at a treacherously low speed and I outpaced it by walking. Not to speak of your faster Pokémon that sprinted at you with malicious intent every five seconds if you didn't outpace it.

I don't remember if Let's Go Eevee/Pikachu came out before or after this, but the feature worked perfectly in those games (to my knowledge; it's been a while!) Unless your Pokémon got stuck on something.

The plot of Sword and Shield was kept hidden from us really until the very end. The "big bad team" we got were insignificant flies that tried to trip us up every step of the way. And the Team Yell admin was literally just another gym challenger. I love Marnie and I love Piers but I don't think Team Yell was plot relevant, just extremely annoying.

The games going oh here's this evil team leader BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE started in Sun and Moon but I think it worked there purely because that was new. It was new, it was unique, it was done well, and Guzma got to call us idiots. They keep trying to do that now in different ways and it just doesn't hit for me. I want to go back to one super bad team (or two, in an Aqua Magma scenario) where they try to bring back an ancient deity and everything goes to shit. That's what Pokémon was.

BDSP was literally a copy paste of the file data from DP because there's apparently a bug present in BDSP that was patched in Platinum. Also, it's apparently super easy to a void glitch now, and you can fly on a surfing bidoof. And you can soft lock yourself in the ice gym. There's so many other bugs but those are the ones I remember.

My biggest gripes about the game are the fact that I payed double now what I did for the originals in the past for what was essentially the exact same thing with a few extra bells and whistles (and bugs), and whatever the fuck this was supposed to be.

Garchomp is supposed to be intimidating, and I guess from an in game view that would be, but I just stared at it going what the fuck did they do to him. He's t-posing. At least he keeps up with the player I guess. Not to mention all the models are miniscule. Rayquaza looks like a worm following the player.

And speaking of intimidating, what in god's name did they do to Cyrus.

I'm supposed to be intimidated by this emotionless man but he looks like a chew toy.

I love Diamond and Pearl. I hate having to tear a remake of it down like this. My disappointment was immeasurable, to be sure. I waited so long for a remake and we got this joke. Nothing changed. Yeah the underground is bigger, but what about the special gimmicks? No mega evolution, no dynamax?

And I don't think anyone has really talked about it because we immediately got Legends Arceus out and I will say right now I have put an ungodly amount of hours into that game and still haven't beaten it because Munchlax fucking sucks to find. I know where to find it, it just hates me. Yeah the Pokémon don't follow you, but that's probably preferable to them not being able to keep up. My favorite things about the game were that Pokémon actually got near each other in battle to hit each other, and that to could spam Pokéballs and not fight. Pokémon felt like a proper threat. You had to dodge them to stay alive.

It felt like a proper Pokémon game again, with one bad guy (in this case Volo) trying to end the world just so he can see God because he's too much a fangirl. The game revamped old characters, brought back a familiar face (Ingo my beloved) and gave us a plot worth fighting for. I tell you I squealed when the player got exiled and I was immediately brought back to PMD. Sure there were the bandit sisters, and again, the devs led us to believe they were the bad guys in advertising but they were just stupid pests that had no idea what they were doing.

My favorite things were immediately taken away in Scarlet and Violet. Yeah it's an open world. It's expansive. It's fun. Pokémon still run at you. I can't jump out of the way anymore, I have hop on my bike god and drive away. You can sneak, but what's the point when you have to battle the Pokémon to catch it anyway? Pokémon are practicing social distancing again, apparently. The sprites don't get near each other to attack anymore.

And the designs oh God the designs.

Dunsparse can evolve! He just gets longer and gets a pointier chin. What's Pawmi evolve into? Oh, it just stands up and gets anime hair. Speaking of anime hair, Primape apparently cosplays Dragon Ball Z when it dies. Lechonk was cute, I bet it evolves into something cool. Nope, just a slightly bigger pig with mascara. The pseudo-legendary is a joke among Gods. Cetoddle is cute, and Cetitan would be cool if it's mouth wasn't above its eyes. Love the fact that we have a mimic now. You need 999 gold coins to evolve it into a Dammit Doll. Half the Pokémon have a plastic face glued on a round orb of a head with zero protruding facial features like, I don't know, a snout or a nose? There's a flamingo that's just a flamingo, nothing special about it. Also we apparently get to fight literal cars and engines now! Have we reached the point of Pokémon Gun?

Not to mention that Pokémon following is back! It sucks again. Lots of Pokémon can't keep up with the player or Miraidon (I have Violet.) Meowscarada apparently has the zoomies and might be the exception.

SV: How many technical issues do you want us to have

Game Devs: Yes

They're also doing the misleading bad guy plot again and I can't tell if I should trust Turo or not. I haven't even physically met him in game yet.

The game has potential. I am just so unbelievably disappointed that the devs hid the pathetic Pokémon they were creating until leaks came out. I didn't think half the leaks were real, they all looked so farfetched. My team has ended up comprised almost entirely of old Pokémon that I treasure. That being said, all of them were hard to find so I basically played the entire game with just Meowscarada (because I've found that I don't hate it that much in motion) and Talonflame. My favorite Pokémon Absol isn't even in the game. I doubt we're ever getting the Nat Dex back, which means I can't play with all my old Pokémon friends together anymore.

I don't know how many more new Pokémon games I'm going to play. I feel like I've been let down too many times recently. I'm almost done with Violet, I think, because I never do the dex anyway. I'll catch my version exclusives and give them to my friends but when I beat the game I can't say if I'll pick it up again or not. And if I do, it might be solely so I can watch what's his name heal his dog with herbs again.

#pokemon #pokemon sword #pokemon shield #pokemon brilliant diamond #pokemon shining pearl #pokemon legends arceus #pokemon scarlet #pokemon violet #spoilers #im so tired of having games hyped up just for them to let me down #in the next game. devs. please design things that don't look like a child's playdough creation

[adamgant]

Friday Faves 11.17

Friday Faves 11.17 https://ift.tt/bgEUtsB Hi friends! Happy Friday! How are you? I hope you’ve enjoyed the week. I feel like it was our first *real* week back in the world. I started to ease my way back into workouts, the girls were back at school, and we got to celebrate my birthday with the fam. I just wanted to get together for brunch, so we had a lovely brunch at First Watch with our small party of 15 🙂 We had the BEST gluten-free funfetti cake from Lovin’ Spoonfuls with buttercream frosting: (fun inside scoop: I went to high school with their pastry chef and we order the cake from her every year. I also look forward to it all year! My favorite cake in the world.) And the rest of the day was perfect and low-key. I read a book, we had a Pilot-cooked dinner here at home, and watched Home Alone. The rest of the week has flown by in a blur and I’m looking forward to the weekend! Liv has a birthday party and one of her friends is sleeping over, I’m getting a much-needed mani pedi, we’re going out to dinner, and decorating for Christmas. Since we’re traveling next week, my favorite grinch gave the green light to decorate early. Usually he’s the captain of team “Honor the Bird” but he’s making an exception this year. Flashback to our enormous tree! Frida is too big to move her now. 😉 I’d love to hear what you have going on! It’s time for the weekly Friday Faves party. This is where I share some of my favorite finds from the week and around the web. I always love to hear about your faves, too, so please shout out something you’re loving in the comments section  below. Friday Faves 11.17 Fitness, health, and good eats: SO many Black Friday deals are happening early. Here are some of my faves so far: – You can use XOGINAH for 25% off Sakara. I LOVE their meal delivery – it’s something I do to treat myself once a month – and their snacks and supplements. The meals are fresh, vibrant, energizing, and beautiful. I highly recommend giving it a try — this is their best sale of the whole year. – FITNESSISTA20 will get you 20% off at HigherDOSE. (My regular code is FITNESSISTA15 for 15%.) I use their sauna blanket, PEMF Go Mat, Red Light Face Mask, and Red Light Neck enhancer on a regular basis. I’ve notice a huge difference in my energy, mood, skin, and sleep since I’ve started implementing their amazing products. Check it out here and you can read a roundup of my favorite HigherDOSE products in this post. – My favorite rower is on sale for the only time this year. If you’ve been wanting to upgrade your home gym, I highly recommend Aviron. It stores vertically and is the best quality rower I’ve used. You can stream Netflix, Amazon, Hulu, and play games while you row. I’m totally going to row and watch some Friends episodes this weekend. (If you’re curious about the rower and have questions, send me an Instagram DM. I’d love to help! My full blog post review is here, too.) – If you have anything in your cart from EquiLife, wait until Monday! Same goes for Organifi. 😉 Read, watch, listen: I started Fourth Wing to see if it lives up to the hype, and while fantasy usually isn’t my go-to genre, I’m completely sucked in. The writing is excellent and it’s super intense so far! The only problem is that I read it before bed and have weird dragon dreams lol. Check out this week’s podcast episode here! We’re chatting about immune system tips and food allergies. What holiday coupons would your kids love? FINALLY. Sheesh. Fashion + beauty: I have to admit that Nap Dresses 100% live up to their reputation. (They’re 30% off right now!) It’s super flattering and comfortable and now I want every color. (I’m trying to decide if I like this style or the Somerset more) Wore this slip dress this week with a cardigan and GG low-tops. The quality is excellent and they have so many colors. Happy Friday, friends! Did you decorate already or are you waiting until after Thanksgiving? xo Gina The post Friday Faves 11.17 appeared first on The Fitnessista. via The Fitnessista https://ift.tt/SxsXZeq November 17, 2023 at 10:03AM

#The Fitnessista

[love-and-bubbles]

I apologise if it seemed that I was demanding a response, I was just overthinking it because I wasn’t sure if I sent it to you or that I thought I did and I didn’t. Happens too many times.

It’s amazing how bodies are so different. Like you I can justgo wild with eating without having to worry because my size never changed. I never increase in size if I stuff myself with so much carbs like someone would do that they have to go crazy in the gym to get back in shape. Which I am thankful for, because I do not have the time and patience to do so. I think the older we get, our choices just becomes healthier, more conscious and responsible. I agree with the restrictions, in our house, there is always that abundance of food or that so much freedom, never restricted even if we barely had anything before. It’s a belief and upbringing i’ve got that food should never be restricted to anyone and should be given freely if we are in our house. It’s like, I can say no to everything but not food. Like you know what I mean?

The place where I am offers a lot of cheap restaurants with amazing quality food, I am not sure in your continent though because it’s Europe. I don’t know if it’s just me but if it’s something along the lines of Europe, it automatically means not cheap. lol. They’re definitely not very practical, I tell you. That’s where I have spent so much of my money. How was the sushi? I do not like sushi at all. I can never get its hype. Have you been to asia? we need to build that tolerance you’ve got. haha

Yeah, culture is just so interesting. It’s fascinating to think that nobody is just one thing from just one culture, we are all a bit of everything and we carry that through places we go and we share that to people we meet along the way. It’s a beautiful journey. I agree with the last part, wherever you go, they’re always one that makes you feel hmm, ya i like that, that feeling is mine now.

I could only wish to visit that places you’ve mention. You have seen so much of the world already, it’s intimidating to think about. Those places are absolutely a dream to see, it would be so different to the ones I have seen so far and it’s not that many. I guess though, it’s the perks of being on the same continent and a bit of UK and all that. You get to visit them very easily. If I were in europe, nobody would see me in one place for long, i’d always hop onto the next train and soak everything up like a sponge. It’s the opposite for me, I love the mountains though you’d never see me climbing on one. I am not too into the beaches as one of my houses is in front of the beach someone tropical so i’ve had enough of it. I have read TTS a long time ago. Such beautiful scenery, it makes me want to live like that too. Away from people and everything else that causes stress. I think in Harry’s words “don’t knock it ‘till you try it” basically what my dad said to me, try first before saying no. It would be amazing, no? To just see the other side.

I think there’s so much of europe as it is a continent on its own therefore it’s packed of everything it’s so hard to choose. You need to write and channel them. I could only wish I am as wordy as you and channel them into writing fictions too.

I am not a celebrity. god forbid. Nor am I famous in tumblr or one of those big accounts. My existence is a little quiet but maybe you’ve come across my blog somewhere sometime but never improtant, my account is basically just a place of my own soap opera and a pile of stress. lol

I agree about everything about fanfictions. There’s an endless supply and endless ways to write pining. And an endless amount of frustrations, happiness , and everything a roller coaster of emotions in fanfictions. It’s amazing, I am so glad there is this community built for the fans, by the fans. I have slowed down with smut now, I just want to read my own works without reading about the same two people having at it. Though, I wrote one recently with smut where I tried writing it as elegantly as I could. lol anyways.

It’s okay!! I have been busy too. And I still am, I haven’t been having the best year really, and the more we get to the end, just the worsts it gets. I just want to be a hermit and forget about everyone and everything else. Preferably live someone on those mountains in scotland where it’s so remote and away from people. I would just cut off social media and any connection and live life like that. That’s how it feels every day and the older I get, the more tempting it has become.

Can this just be your gift already? Just kidding. I actually had a different plan about my gift to you because I signed up on a whim where I was high spirited and when it finally comes down to writing, I was like shit, what have I gotten myself into. But all is well. I’ll make sure you’ll recieved it and feel the love. I already have the dates. hehe

Tell me more about yourself. xx

OMG I nearly deleted this ask accidentally. So I guess it's fair to say that we both are going a little crazy. And please don't apologize. No need to at all. It was actually a good reminder.

I get you when it comes to eating and restricting. Growing up quite poor food was not always a given in my family. Like we would make dandelion salad from literal dandelion leaves we picked ourselves. So sweets and treats were always really special. But on the up side it also helped me being okay with not always having and getting everything I wanted right way. And appreciating the little things (especially cake... I can never say no to cake). I have been a vegetarian since I am 14 and it never felt restrictive. I was quite strict but every few years, especially when travelling, I would eat some local speciality or something that I just wanted to experience. So if I really want to I will always do it. But then when starting university I became quite obsessed. I fell down the raw vegan rabbit hole quite badly. It got quite compulsive and at one point I realized I wasn't enjoying food anymore, and it had always been one of my favourite things. So I reflected a lot and slowly got myself back on track, being kinder to myself and living a little. And over the years I got to where I am now. I am still a vegan (I have watched too many documentaries to ever change that again) but I am also extremely creative in the kitchen and my food is always colourful, always fun, and always plenty. In fancy Europe (I mean it is expensive but we earn money that makes it affordable, less so in eastern Europe, in Hungary for example poverty rates are insane, I think politically every country in Europe still can improve a lot on, as we can all) we are blessed with an abundance of good vegan food alternatives and loads of fresh produce. I made an insanely cheesy vegan pasta bake the other day and it was not like weird tasting fake cheese taste but sooooo good. Sushi I am like Louis in that interview about tattoos with the red and green paddle. I used to be very much *red side* then I slowly turned to *green side* and now I absolutely love it *covers his hole body in tattoos*. I haven't been to Asia but I love Asian cuisine, the different cultures and the variety of the places. I had many flatmates from different Asian countries so I had my fair share of whatever they'd cook like home made kimchi (ok I nearly died eating that sooooo spicy). So yeah Asia is high on my to go list. Especially all island nations.

Reading your words is like sooooo beautiful. The way you talk about cultures and travelling and yes, that sounds about right. And your dad seems like a wise man. Please don't be intimidated because I have lived my life the way I have. I certainly haven't had your experiences. I didn't even go out there all the time like I wanna go and see all these places. Sometimes it just happens to me. And many people have stopped asking me about my life, for some of my family members it's because it's too wild for them to imagine, other's just wave me off because they can not compete with me when they tell me about their holiday. But it's not a competition. I have the highest admiration for my brother who found that small town and decided to settle down there and never leave. He rather builds a strong community around him than travel and that is amazing, something I might not have the persistence for. I love humans and their experiences and I want to hear everyone's stories on all the things all the time.

Scottish mountains are beautiful. And if you ever go there, there is a special place I could recommend. It feels like out of a fanfic. I mean the entirety of the Scottish countryside feels like out of a fanfic. Which is one of the things I love and value most about Europe, the history. The old castles and buildings of all the ages. When I lived abroad I was strangely missing it. When there are no 'old' train stations or mystical villages. Tropical Island sounds amazing though. Even if I would probably die in the heat in a second. And then it's not just the sea, it's the ocean. I miss the ocean and everything that lives in it.

As soon as I am allowed to know you stranger, I need to read that elegant smut of yours. I love that! After all we are serious writers. And I also love how we can see how we grow with our writing. How interests and priorities shift and perspectives broaden.

That 'I want to escape the world feeling' yeah I know that one. I just want to hide in my blanket all day and ignore that the world continues. I am sad to hear that your year has been a struggle. That's why fanfics and fandom drama sometimes are such a great escape. Everything a bit easier there. I believe the world would be a better place if we all slowed down a little. A little more 'let's watch this tomato plant grow every day' and less off 'you should really have done this by now'. When I was living like that I was my most at peace really, but also a little lonely at times. I hope that there are also beautiful things coming your way! Now I feel bad, because I had a great year, I got to see Harry and Louis. European privilege again. Did you get to see any of the boys? But I have to say I watched some Louis live streams from around the world curled up in my bed in the middle of the night, those are some of my favourite memories. That and me listening to the Harry's House leak lying in the sun in the botanical gardens every day after uni. It felt like a special gift from Harry. What are your favourite memories of this year so far? As I said I loooove hearing people's stories. Small windows into their lives.

I can't wait for the love! Hahahaha nah, this is already more than I feel like I should get out of nowhere like this. The way you write is so kind and just makes me happy reading it.

"Tell me more about yourself." - Why would you ask me this? I am both flattered and scared. But mostly excited. No body would ever just ask this. This might be the kindest thing anyone has ever said. Hahahaha oh well... if that doesn't say it all. But honestly such a nice way of interacting with people. You are quite amazing at conversation. Thank you for this and please also tell me more about yourself. Maybe something you just want to tell people or something you would like me to know?

Do you like vinyl? Because I think I am addicted.

Do you watch stupid (or less stupid) shows?

Or documentaries?

Like books?

Sports?

Animals?

Colours? And when yes where?

Art? What is your favourite way to express yourself?

Sunrise or sunset?

Past or future?

Who are you and who do you want to be?

#questions questions questions #hugging strangers #like a warm day at the beach #with a book

[iloveyoukyra]

9/26/22 4:24am

Years have passed, we remain still together but I barley cling on. I wake up everyday lonely wether I’m waking up next to you or not. This relationship feels like I’m the only person in it.

It reminds me of the time I saw someone’s marriage tumble in on them and take their sanity with it. The person was very weak and wondering why their partner was being so accommodating to their needs, but when the issue was solved and the partner went back to the other, they were neglected. They were turned away, and this was because their partner was cheating on them and preparing to replace them.

I remember watching this person go through this neglectful period before they found out about the cheating and wondering when they would snap. They constantly questioned their beauty, worth, and their partner’s love. They'd cry and cry, and I'd just sit and stare, wondering why they stayed.

Unfortunately, today I feel as if I can empathize with this person. I feel ugly and unattractive. I no longer catch my partner looking at me or my body ever. Perhaps I gained a little too much weight? I’ve tried starving myself for a couple of days just in case that’s it. I'm also mentally trying to hype myself up to get over my social anxiety to go to the gym just in case it’s that I’m too skinny. I question if they even find me attractive at all. They sometimes compliment me, but it's always the same compliment: "you are cute." I wish it was more personalized. It's like they actually took a look at me past my first layer. They very rarely make advances on me. I always have to initiate, and half the time I’m swatted away.

I feel like we are just friends with benefits. Even when we go on dates and do stuff, we kiss and hug and cuddle, but even when we do those things, they rarely feel intimate. The reason for me is that it humiliates me to beg and whine at you like that. I feel like a dog crying at you. When I want to kiss you or cuddle you, you never seem to want to; you reject me and de-escalate things. If I can’t kiss and cuddle the person I’m in a relationship with, where do I go? I don’t want to have to go anywhere else for it. I want you.

Whenever you do come onto me, it seems to be out of jealousy. Today my phone was buzzing with likes and you commented about how popular I was and set it aside. Even though I enjoyed what happened, it seemed so fake and not real. I feel so incredibly empty and worthless. The only time you want me is when there is a threat of losing me... or you simply want to remind me of your dominance and how I belong to you. Where was the love? Where was it? I feel terrible. The only way I can get you to initiate any affection in our relationship is by cutting mine off almost entirely, which makes me incredibly sad. Even worse, you start to get upset that I’m not showing any back. Do I have to deprive you to make you want me? Why can’t you just want me?

I simply don’t know what to do anymore. How do I get my partner to want me again?

[jesshstevens]

Blog #1

Hello beautiful people! It is so lovely to meet you guys for the very first time. My name is Jessica Hill, and this is my first EVER blog! Now, you may be wondering, what exactly is the blog going to be about? Well, that’s simple. It’s about my life and anything interesting happening, but it is even bigger than that. In this blog, we are going to discover the most underrated coffee shop in Georgia. You see, I am a huge iced coffee fan, and I am sure you are too… because who isn’t? But, while Starbucks is super delicious, and I do love me a delicious Pumpkin Spice Latte, there are so many hidden gems that never get their chance to shine! I myself have a bad habit of always stopping at Starbucks, but I want to explore what is out there and support smaller businesses! So, I hope you guys join me on our journey to finding the best iced coffee in town, but before we get down to business, allow me to introduce myself a little bit better!

My name is Jessica, but you guys can call me Jess (everybody does)! Although I said my name was Jessica Hill, it is technically Jessica Stevens (I just haven’t changed it yet) because I just recently got married this past July to the love of my life. His name is Trevor, and he is just the most wonderful man. We met when I was in the 7th grade and he was in the 8th, and we both had major crushes on each other! Now, we are happily married and pursuing our goals together. Besides absolutely loving my husband, some of my favorite things to do are working out, cooking/baking, and traveling! My dream in life is to travel for work! My husband used to travel for a little bit before we started dating, and he lived in multiple places such as: Aruba, Hawaii, Colorado, etc. so our goal is to travel again together! My bucket list places are Alaska (northern lights), Italy, UK, and Australia! I love going to the gym and staying active. I was super athletic growing up and loved to play a multitude of sports, and I still do! I play in a beach volleyball league year round, and I love it! My most recent hobby I discovered I love is cooking/baking. I never used to before, but now that I am married and living on my own, I have experimented with lots of new recipes, and I have found a passion for cooking and baking! My banana bread is a killer. Well, that just about sums me up (the very short version… I’m a talker). I can’t wait to get to know you guys better. Now… let’s talk about our first coffee!

Our first contender is a new coffee shop that has opened up within the past year in my local downtown. The name is Bizarre Coffee!I have heard quite the chatter about it, but I never went to try it! So, it seemed fitting to go give it a chance today for this blog! My first impression of the shop was that it was very cute and aesthetically pleasing, although it is very small. There is no room inside but very few seating, but there are tables outside. The line was long and out the door, but it moved fast and I had my coffee within 10 minutes. Luckily for me, they had just launched their fall menu (and fall drinks are my favorite drinks)! I ordered an iced pumpkin cookie latte with oat milk! I also got a free brown chobani oat beanie (it’s super cute) for ordering my coffee with oat milk, so that was a huge plus! I absolutely loved this coffee! It was the perfect amount of sweetness ratio and the right amount of milk, although I wasn’t getting much of a pumpkin flavor. Personally, it just tasted like regular flavored coffee (still very good), which disappointed me because I am a huge pumpkin lover! I ordered a medium, and it was a good size! Although the price was almost $7 for this coffee! It was definitely a little on the pricey size, but for good reason! Overall, I did really enjoy this coffee shop! It is definitely worth the hype, and I see why it has such good reviews. I will definitely be coming back and trying some of their different flavors too (and maybe a bagel)! Overall, Bizarre Coffee is getting an 8.5/10!

It was so wonderful to meet you and properly introduce myself. I hope you guys follow me along on this journey! Stay tuned for the next coffee review!

-Jess 

[primofate]

Haikyuu! Drabble: When you get hurt (minor injuries)

Note: Ugggghhhhhhh I love these men. Honestly. wtf. How can you have so many good guys in one anime. Also please don’t take this as a sign that I’ll stop posting for Genshin, but you know, give me some space to hype over my other fandoms please XD

Warnings: it’s seriously just plain fluff

Characters: Kageyama, Tsukishima, Oikawa, Bokuto, Ushijima

Kageyama

“What happened to your knee?”

Is the first thing he says, his face as serious as ever, eyes looking at your bandaged knee as he approaches you in class. You laugh nervously as you unwound the school bag away from your shoulder, placing it on your desk.

“Ah, I was walking Momo-chan last night...But you know, he’s gotten so big and I guess I was a little distracted...He saw a squirrel and just went running for it and...” you trail off, feeling Kageyama’s aura change. You knew he was about to call you reprimand you, and sure enough, he says “Idiot,” just as he would to Hinata.

On closer inspection you also had a bandage around your wrist. He guessed that you tried to hold on to the leash and it dragged your hand across the pavement. 

After berating you with that one word, he wouldn’t say anything else about it. But he would, whenever he could, show some concern that you wouldn’t usually see. “I’ll take that,” he grabs your lunch box from you and you look up at him all confused as to why he’s carrying it for you today. 

But, he stops at the door of the classroom and then turns around. “Actually, let’s just eat here,” as opposed to the school rooftop where the two of you usually ate. 

And then, at the end of the school day, before you could even lift your bag over your shoulder, he’s already there and lifting it on HIS shoulder. You’re dumbfounded. “Are you going to your club? I’ll walk you first then go to mine,” 

Then it hits you. It’s because you’re hurt, and he didn’t want you to strain your knee or wrist anymore. You secretly smile but let him do what he wants. There was no stopping him when he set his mind to it after all. “Tobio-kun, you know, it’s just a scrape, I can still do things by myself,” 

“Shut up and just let me do it...” he mutters under his breath, until he drops you off to your club and goes his own way. 

And then, as your nightly routine to walk Momo-chan, you’re stunned when you see your boyfriend standing there, outside your house gates. Hands in his pockets. “T-Tobio?” 

He lived close by, but still, you didn’t expect him to be there. He snatches the leash away from you, your dog is just happily gazing at the two of you, tail swishing wildly at the fact that TWO of his favourite people are walking him today. And again, Kageyama says,

“...I need to go for a run anyway,”

Tsukishima

“Excuse me, I’m looking for a Tsukishima-san,”

A girl in the basketball team uniform appears at the doorway of the gym, all members turn to her as she bows and straightens up. Tsukishima sighs in relief. Finally an actual excuse to rest from training. 

“That’s me,” he towers over the girl, who only blinks up at him, slightly intimidated. “Ah, uh, yeah...Y/N said that you have her spare glasses?” His eyebrows perk up. Right. You were in the basketball team, for some reason he always forgot that detail. 

He turns away without a word and goes to his bag. He did, indeed, have your spare glasses. You left it at his house last time during a study session, being the airhead that you are. He retrieves it but before handing the black box to the girl, he asks. “What happened to the ones she has?” 

He wasn’t thinking much of it. Perhaps someone accidentally stepped on it, or maybe you even accidentally broke it.

"The ball hit her face,” 

“Is she--”

The words of worry practically dies on his lips. He could feel and sense Yamaguchi and Sugawara listening in to the conversation and he’d drop dead before getting caught being worried for someone. But still, this is why he always told you that you needed sports glasses. A scratch to the eye could be dangerous.

He sighs pretty loudly, and turns to face Sugawara who was off court, standing next to Yamaguchi who was also taking a small break. “Sugawara-san, I’ll be back,” There’s a big smile on his vice captain’s face, same as Yamaguchi who knew that his friend was actually worried. 

Tsukishima ignored their stupid smiles.

“Oh! Kei,” You look up as the door to the school clinic opened, you were just sitting on one of the beds, legs moving back and forth and waiting for your teammate to retrieve the spare glasses for you. Tsukishima said that he’d handle it and as he passed the black box to you he grabs your chin and turns it in his hands, looking at your eyes. 

There was a cut under your left eye that was already patched up. He releases your face when he was sure it was actually nothing serious, only to cross his arms and smirk at you. “See, I told you that hard head of yours would come in handy. Also receive the ball with your hands, not your face,”

You puff your cheeks out in annoyance and put your spare glasses on, feeling brand new. “Sure did, but my glasses aren’t as strong as my skull,” you sulked and he only blinked. “and I was taking a break! Then suddenly I see the ball coming at me, I don’t think that’s my fault!”

“I believe you. Your team has horrid ball passing skills after all,” he’s relentless with his insults but you knew that’s just the way he was. The fact that he came all the way to the school clinic told you enough about his worry. So, you ignore his last remark and smile up at him, “Thanks for checking on me, Kei,” 

He clicks his tongue but places his hand on your head, “Let’s get you new ones tomorrow, and maybe now you’ll listen to me about those sports glasses,” 

Oikawa

“She’s absent today,”

Oikawa’s face fell. You hadn’t told him anything about being sick or being unwell today. He wondered what happened. However, despite his looks and carefree personality, the Aoba Johsai captain was someone who was actually quite detailed. “In that case, can someone pass me her homework? I’ll go and deliver it to her!”

Safe to say your classmates were always surprised at how much the captain doted on you. He wasn’t always doing it openly, but at least he was thoughtful and thorough.

“Y/N-chan~ How could you leave me all alone in school today?” You could practically hear the pout from the other side of the line. He’d gone to the school grounds to get some private time to call you. 

“Sorry Toru, I can’t really walk properly. It should be fine in a few days though,”

His heart did a little leap, worry etching itself on his features. “What do you mean? What happened?”

The pout in his voice was gone, replaced by what you always called “the captain voice”. 

“I sprained my ankle...It’s a long and stupid story...” you laughed but you heard him sigh. “Well, I have no choice then. Your prince will visit you after-school today!”

You didn’t think he really would. He had volleyball practice and he took those seriously. But at 8 pm, just as you finished dinner, your doorbell rang and next thing you knew he was in your room. 

Your mother just LOVED him. Sometimes you thought even more than you. She was unaware of how hyper Oikawa actually was. He certainly knew how to play his cards right. 

“Alright princess, let me see that foot,” While you were sitting on your chair he practically bent down on on one knee and inspected it. He did kind of look like a prince like that, with his volleyball jacket. Then he suddenly plopped on the floor with his legs crossed. “AAhhhh! That sucks you won’t come to school for a few days!” He was whining again and you couldn’t help but laugh. 

Without fail, every day that you were absent, he showed up at your house after practice.

Bokuto

It’s not that you were particularly clumsy. You were actually a pretty careful person, and that’s why Bokuto always trusted your cooking skills over his. Baking a cake shouldn’t be too hard, but you were rather unfamiliar with the oven at his place.

“Mm, so, it says here to just leave it in the oven for 45 minutes!” he has this big smile on his face and you shake the batter in the round container again. The oven had already been pre-heated and when you open the door to it, hot air greets you. 

You took the round container in your hand, and push it in. It sits just at the front of the oven and you really hate it when that happens, so, with your boyfriend still focused on the recipe (and without mittens cause you think it’ll just be quick push) you try to inch the round cake pan further in with your hand. At one point, you accidentally touch the inside of the hot oven and you recoil your hand with a loud gasp. 

“WHAT?! What what what?!” Bokuto flings the recipe book away and clutches at your hand. In all honesty it didn’t hurt that much, but you had made contact on the hot surface just enough for it to sting and startle you. “Nothing Kou, I just accidentally touched the oven,” you laugh sheepishly but he’s pulling you over to the sink.

The boy is panicking.

“Water!” You’re amazed at how he even knows what to do, running water now splashing on your hand. It wasn’t even enough to burn you, it was just a little red, that’s all. “K-Kou, it’s totally fine,” 

But he turns to you with a waterfall of tears running down his eyes and his hair has deflated from it’s usual spiky style. “I-I’m so useless!” 

‘Ah there he goes,’ you think. But you’ve been trained by Akaashi how to handle these kinds of outbursts from him. “Not at all Kou-kun, you mixed the batter so perfectly. I usually get tired when I do that, but you have really strong arms! Next time I’ll let you handle the oven too, is that okay?”

He stares at you blankly for a moment. The tears have disappeared and his lips oh-so slowly curve into a smile. He gives you a thumbs up, back to his usual flair and confidence. “Of course! Leave it to me!” and he laughs triumphantly while you thank Akaashi in your mind.

Ushijima

Cooking for him and Tendo at the dorms was like a weekly routine. It was mostly for Ushijima, but Tendo liked crashing the cooking party too.

“Be careful.” Ushijima says as he passes the vegetables for you to chop. You did so without any incident. The cooking itself passes by without any incident, until your hand slip off the plate you’re holding and it comes crashing down the floor, shattering into pieces, some of the pieces flying off in different directions.

Ushijima and Tendo perks up in alarm at the sudden sound, with Ushijima being the first to rise on his feet and assess the situation. You’re about to carefully just move away from the mess you made, shards littering around your feet. “Don’t move,” Ushijima tells you, noting that you were only wearing his over-sized slippers. He sees that one of the shards has cut your foot. It was small, but since it was fresh, it was still bleeding. 

“If you move you’ll hurt yourself, wait for me,” you do as told as Ushijima first sweeps off the rest of the shattered glass with a broom, disposes of it. Next he comes to you with a new set of slippers, puts it down on the now clean floor, and tells you to carefully slip out of the ones you have on, he was cautious about the small pieces. Only when you were neatly into the new set of slippers did he clean off the rest of the glass.

Tendo only sat and watched in amusement. His captain was very thorough, even with things like that. “I’ll go and get a first aid kit~” he offered as he stood and sauntered off. “Y/N, sit over there,” he pointed at a nearby chair and you merely follow. There was no use saying no to him, you knew he just wanted to check if everything was in order.

Sure enough just as Tendo comes back with the kit, Ushijima inspects your foot, eyes scanning all around it. It seems that there was only that one cut and it’d be easy to treat. You weren’t surprised that Ushijima knew what to do, watching him take some cotton and pour some alcohol on it, muttering under his breath that it would sting a bit. 

By the end of it, the cut on your foot was disinfected and bandaged properly. “Oohhhh! Good job Wakatoshi-kun!” Tendo praised his friend for the clean job and Ushijima nodded his head with a small “Mm,”

“Thank you,” you smile up at him, “and sorry for the plate, I wasn’t paying attention,” 

Ushijima makes a thoughtful sound, perhaps a little confused by your apology “...The plate is of no great value,” he simply says “it can be replaced.”

"I can’t say the same for you Y/N, so it’s good that you weren’t gravely hurt,” The blush on your cheeks is obvious and Ushijima doesn’t understand what has you so flustered, he’s just being his honest and straightforward self. 

Tendo only laughs at the display.

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[stutterfly]

Swipe Right 04 | Patch Notes | JJK (M)

Rating: M (Explicit 18+)

Pairings: Jungkook x Reader, brot7 x friendship

Genre: E2L, fluff, angst, humor, [eventual] smut, PersonalTrainer!Jungkook, fuckboy!Jungkook, Nerd!Jungkook, Nerd/IT!Reader

Word Count: 15.1K

Last time on SR03: You joined a gym to increase your confidence and things progressed the way you want with your tinder match. You ended up in an unlikely competition with your friends when you went new bar together, leading to some unexpected conversations and shenanigans.

CW & Other Tags: Drinking, anxiety/panic attack mentions, muscle tearing injury mention, fuckboy Jungkook, pining, flirting, pick-up lines, sexual tension, Joonie is still Y/N’s best boi, soft Jungkook

Series: Activate your SIMCard

Fic: Swipe Right (4/?- Ongoing)

Do not repost.

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

When’s the last time you felt as good as you do right now? Jungkook has pretty much stopped bothering you since that night at Seesaw, your date with Jason went well, and you’ve been sticking to your early morning workouts. You definitely don’t push yourself as much as trainer Hwasa, and you know you should really take advantage of the free trial, but it was overwhelming to take in so much at once and the session made you sore all over for days.

At least your stamina seems to be improving and you’ve discovered post-workout endorphins are real. Tonight is your second date with Jason, a date you’ve uncharacteristically elected to host at your apartment. You can place some blame on those endorphins for your boldness, with pining and disappointment composing the rest of it.

While your first date ended without a kiss, there was enough flirting to keep you hopeful. Neither of you were brave enough to do anything about it then, but you’ve mentally coached yourself into pretending like you have an unbreakable spine with nerves of steel. Meeting him only solidified your attraction, and you’ve resolved to take the lead, even though you feel like you have no idea what you’re doing.

It’s not like you often make the first move, but your confidence in him to do so has waned. You’ve been talking and playing games together online for months without any physical touch. Despite how he’s said he likes you and wants to see you again, you’d still be waiting if you didn’t suggest today.

You’re determined to show him what he’s missing by being a recluse. That’s why you’ve picked out the sluttiest clothes and the strappiest heels you own, decorated your face with expensive makeup, and even styled your hair instead of just letting it do whatever it wants for the day. You check yourself out in the full-length mirror on your bedroom door for the millionth time and pull down on the hem of your dress like it will somehow magically grow longer.

You don’t need the heels; no part of the night calls for them. You’re going to be sitting on the couch with him. If you’re lucky you’ll even move it to the bedroom you spent so much time cleaning. But they’re cute and they make you feel sexy, so you’re going to keep them on until he’s peeling you out of your dress.

Nerves bubble in your stomach, but you have to pretend like they’re not there or you’ll fixate on how hard you’re trying to be confident and cool. You’ll fall apart when it’s obvious to Jason how hard you’re pretending to be everything you aren’t. Checking your phone doesn’t help; it’s almost time.

Taking a deep breath, you pace through the confines of your apartment as you wait, and answer group texts from Jennie and Namjoon. You offer up a selfie, hoping any compliments will build your confidence enough to stave off the anxiety in your gut. A few devil emojis later, some keysmashing, and more than a couple hamfisted compliments from Namjoon, your ego is adequately inflated but you can always use more hyping. Maybe you should send it to Jimin to fish for more compliments? He’d indulge you for sure.

Instead you flop on the couch and open Tinder. According to Jennie, Jason is stringing you along; it’s been months, but you hate to admit that she has a point. So you don’t. She’s been telling you for a while now that she thinks you should pursue other suitors. While you object to her assumptions, she has more experience with this kind of stuff. It’s not exactly something you want to believe, not when you’ve put in so much effort for literal months.

You want to believe in Jason being awkward and dorky and that’s why it’s taken so long for the two of you to hook up. He’s shy and super introverted, but so are you. So why are you the only one trying to make things happen? You want to believe, but at this point you’re uncertain enough to heed Jennie’s advice and keep swiping any time you find yourself in a situation where you’re waiting on him. Like now.

You have your reservations about swiping while you wait for your date to begin, but you can practically hear Jennie cheering you on. He’s late anyway, and it will keep you busy until he arrives. You open the discovery tab and swipe left on a couple incomplete profiles. Most of the guys on here don’t put in any effort. How are you supposed to want to give any of them a chance when you don’t even get a tiny snapshot of who they are?

When you pass on yet another fish pic profile, a blue frame appears around the next guy in line. It takes a moment for your brain to register the name along with the duck-faced photo as someone familiar.

[Jungkook said: Your legs remind me of oreos 🥴 wanna know why?]

How fucking dare he? You match with the intent to ream him out and leave.

You: I told you not to fucking find me on here

It takes only a few seconds before you see the dots move on his end, like he was waiting for the moment you would answer, and it keeps you tethered to the conversation.

Jungkook: Princess!! I couldn’t help myself how are you

Jungkook: Surprised you didn’t block me

You: Don’t worry I’m gonna

Jungkook: it’s bc you wanna know huh

You: ???

Jungkook: Your legs

Jungkook: Like oreos

Jungkook: I wanna split them n lick the cream from the center 😜

Electricity rumbles in your gut, carrying heat and a surge of excitement to your cunt that threatens to flood your panties. You swallow hard and squeeze your thighs together as you stare at the screen. Embarrassed by the response his antics elicit, you scramble to formulate a coherent thought.

You: I wish I could unread 🤢

Jungkook: Aw but that’s one of my favorites

Jungkook: Just like you 😘

You: 🙄

You: I hate you so much

Jungkook: So much that you matched with me?

You stare at the message like a clever response will come to you and when it doesn’t you bite your lip. He’s got a point. Haven’t you learned your lesson not to encourage him? Your eyes scan the top of your phone for any notifications from Jason. Nothing. At least this is keeping you distracted. That’s what you tell yourself.

Jungkook: You’re still here which means 👀

You: It means I’m tired

Jungkook: Of?

You pause for a moment. Namjoon and Jennie can’t know how anxious you are about Jason. It’s the guy’s last strike with them and he hasn’t even met them yet. Jungkook, an impartial third party, might be able to lend an ear. As much as you don’t care what he thinks, you need an outlet for the anxiety in your chest. You start to draft a word-vomit. Jason has been so hesitant to see you in person again and now he’s late. Maybe if you just put it out there to someone you’ll feel better.

Jungkook: If you need to sleep how about a massage?

Jungkook: I’m good with my fingers 🥴

Stupid. In what universe could you confide in Jungkook? Deleting your word-vomit before you can send it, you start to type something else, but your thumb accidentally taps enter at the exact wrong moment.

You: You know what? I want you

FUCK. Goddamn you, sausage fingers.

You scramble to rewrite the sentence but Jungkook is quicker. He has to know it was an accident, but you’re still fucking mortified.

Jungkook: 😈

Jungkook: My place

Jungkook: Ten minutes

You: *to stay off my profile

Jungkook: 👉👌?

You: YOU KNOW I DIDN’T MEAN THAT

You: 🤢🤢🤢

Jungkook: 😩

Jungkook: Now you’re just playing games with me princess

Jungkook: Can’t say I mind just fuck me up 🥴

You: Don’t you have a princess to fuck in another castle? Maybe she can stroke your tiny ego

Jungkook: Ouch felt that from here

He goes quiet and you close the conversation out. Setting the phone down on the cushion beside you lasts all of two seconds. When your phone buzzes twice, you know better than to answer, yet you feel compelled to look.

Jungkook: Hey quick question

Jungkook: Is this the most you’ve used the app to talk with someone you like? 👻

Just like that you unmatch with him and take a moment to seethe. Distraction or no, he’s not worth the mental energy. He always seems to draw you in like a pretty little thirst trap and drain you of your sanity. Not engaging is the safest option so why do you always end up doing so? Maybe it’s that shitty little part of you that gets excited any time he shows you attention.

There’s a gullible girl within you; she sets your pulse on fire when he feigns even the slightest interest, fills your head with wind when he brushes against you, and floods your eyes with tears when he walks away. Still, she wants him to look at you, even if it means he’s really looking through you. You hate her. Why can’t she learn that you deserve better?

You check the time again and wince. Jason is really late now. Not even a text. Or a phone call. Maybe it’s traffic?

Try to relax. Nothing bad is going to happen. You’re going to have fun tonight.

You start up a game to take your mind off the options available to explain his absence. When you’re invested in a game you often lose track of time, but tonight you’re hyper-aware of every minute that passes. You bite at your freshly painted nails during loading screens, chipping the red from their edges. Sounding casual is difficult when you’re worried, but you attempt it anyway via text. It’s ten more agonizing minutes of waiting before your phone buzzes with an answer.

The controller drops to your lap and immediately tears begin to sprinkle your thighs with the manifestation of your heartache.

He forgot.

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

An earthy scent fills Namjoon’s apartment as he carefully transfers the last of his plants to a bigger pot, filling in the edges of its roots with fresh soil and patting the edges down with care. His plants have needed this, maybe even more than he needs the mini hangout that will soon follow. The kitchen table is covered in dirt, but at least he’s almost done.

It’s not his fault Jungkook showed up earlier than expected. At least he’s quiet now. It’s been a while, but he’s finally stopped asking about how much longer it will take, so he must either be invested in the show he put on or asleep on the couch.

“Almost done,” Namjoon loudly announces. “Can you text Tae?”

“Kay.” Jungkook yawns as he stands and heads towards the bathroom. “Jin was already cooking when I left so it should be ready soon.”

“Good. I’m hungry,” Namjoon says, carefully transporting the plant to the desk in his bedroom.

As he’s on his way to clean up the mess on the table there’s a soft rapid knock at the front door. The moment he opens it and finds you standing before him, he knows something is wrong. Even the ratty hoodie covering your shoulders can’t hide the effort you’ve obviously put into your appearance tonight. While your makeup seems to have fared rather well, your eyes are red and your cheeks are puffy. His mind automatically assumes the worst about your second date and his jaw tightens.

“What happened? Did he hurt you?”

“He never showed.” You throw your arms around him and openly sob.

“Oh, Y/N…” His arms are around you in an instant, hugging you close while keeping his dirty fingers at bay.

You press your cheek against his chest, letting the tears fall freely. “I’m sorry. I know you probably have plans tonight, but I wanted to stop here—” You choke out a loud sob and wipe your nose with your sleeve as you look down at the floor. “I didn’t want to drive upset but you weren’t answering and I just—”

“Shit. Exam today. I left it on silent.” He pats his pocket to make sure it’s still there, wiping as much dirt as he can on his jeans before placing his hands on your shoulders. “Hey, it’s okay. Deep breaths.”

Jungkook emerges from the bathroom quietly with a furrowed brow and pursed lips. Did he hear your voice or is it his imagination? Unsure if you’re some wishful remnant of earlier texts, he peeks around the corner.

Heels: black, strappy heels with a velvety smooth red undersole. Has he ever seen you in heels? If he has, it’s never been something as flashy as these. His gaze travels up the smooth, exposed skin of your legs until it hits the hem of a skirt. The dark fabric seems a little short; it clings to your thighs, riding up as you embrace his friend. It’s hard not to notice how well it accents the curve of your hips and more importantly: your ass. He’s definitely never seen you in something so revealing, not even on nights where you’ve joined them for dancing.

He pauses for a fraction of a second, eyes trained on the swell of your ass before moving up to find the disappointing sight of your favorite hoodie barring much else from view. Namjoon’s arms outline your shape, but the places his hands rest are far too respectable to glean much else other than simple blueprints.

With his dick leading his steps, Jungkook opens his mouth to announce his presence with a joke. He means to selfishly steal a glimpse of your entire ensemble with some snarky comment but you choke out a sob and his stomach lurches to form a whirlpool of apprehension. His mouth remains open, but his words are swallowed back into the dark swirling pit that now wrenches his gut in circles.

Namjoon looks up just in time to read the confusion and shock on his features. He shakes his head and cups yours against his chest, wordlessly signaling Jungkook to keep quiet.

“Is there anything I can do? Do you wanna talk about it?” Namjoon asks, hoping you don’t see the man behind you slowly backing away like he’s just approached a rabid animal.

You’re sobbing. Why are you sobbing? What happened? Was it what he said before you unmatched? Jungkook tiptoes back into the kitchen without a word. He leans against the counter and shoves his hands in his coat pockets, trying to piece everything together. Did he cause this?

You screw your eyes shut to try to keep the tears inside. It’s no use. They always seem to find a way out. “He didn’t show up and when I texted him, he… he said he forgot."

“What?"

“I thought it would be good after the arcade date, you know? Like, good chemistry. He’s weird. I like him! He seemed interested and we made these plans and he just—” you choke out another loud sob. “God. Am I really so fucking forgettable?”

You wanted your friends to be wrong so badly that you ignored the fact that it’s been like pulling teeth trying to get Jason to meet up again. For him to forget completely is like a kick to the face that leaves all the teeth intact, maybe a little bloody, but stubbornly intact.

“Y/N, no. It’s not your fault. You deserve better than this fucking guy.”

Jungkook swallows hard. This definitely doesn’t feel like a conversation he should be hearing, but it’s loud enough to carry through the entire apartment. Kitchen, bedroom, or bathroom: his options are limited, but he knows there’s nowhere to go to pretend like he can’t hear it. It’s not like he can just walk out the front door now.

“Do I? It’s seems like a fucking pattern, Joon. I fall for people so easily and they always make me feel like an idiot for trying. Donghyun. Seojun. Jason. Jungkook… It doesn’t matter. No one fucking wants me.”

Jungkook tenses. He may not know all the names on your list, but his is among them all the same. Has he really hurt you so much?

“Hey… Don’t think like that,” Namjoon says, his voice soft as he rubs your back. “You know your worth, and it’s not measured by how well someone else can see it.”

Every time you think you’re done crying, fresh tears begin to roll down your cheeks. “I’m tired, Joonie.”

“I know. I’m sorry. We'll get you home."

As you step back to look at him your ankle rolls, and you begin to fall. Hearing the scuffle, Jungkook winces and peeks around the corner. Namjoon has a good enough grip to stop you from fully tumbling to the floor, but you’re definitely not stable by any means.

Although you now face Jungkook, you’re too distracted by your ankle to notice the extra pair of eyes on you. He allows himself to stupidly linger within your line of sight, raking his gaze across your form to take in the details of your attire, right down to your choice of earrings. Even with a red nose and puffy, smudged eyes, the time you’ve spent on your appearance remains evident.

You did all that for some guy who didn’t even show? If that’s how you dress for your dates then his innocent perception of you is completely wrong. What kind of moron would pass up the opportunity to peel you out of that dress and dive into your cunt? You look incredible. What the fuck.

"God. Shit. Fuck! Fucking stupid heels!” You huff out your exasperation and let a small pitiful laugh pass your lips as you right your stance with Namjoon’s help. “You know, I spent hours getting ready and now I just look stupid. I feel stupid.”

“You don’t. You’re not,” Namjoon insists, his palm squeezing your shoulder.

“Namjoon, I shaved my entire body. Do you know how long that took?”

Jungkook forces himself to withdraw into the kitchen. If you see him now you might murder him. He purses his lips into a thin line and tightens his grip around his arms. In an instant he imagines hiking your dress above your hips and parting your legs so he might brush his cheek against the smooth expanse of your thigh all the way to your core. Are your panties as slutty as your dress? Are they cute? Lacy? Plain?

“Geeksquad…” Namjoon sighs loudly. “I really don’t need to know— Hold up. Wasn’t this the second date?”

“Are you slutshaming me?” The tired laugh that follows sounds more like you, but it still hurts his heart. “I’m stepping up my game.”

“Nah. You do you,” he says, a soft smile on his lips that’s obviously full of pity. “You want to stay and get some food? I think I have some sweats you can change into.”

Tires screech in Jungkook’s mind. Is he going to be trapped here for the night? Without dinner? What kind of karmic torture is the universe putting him through?

“No, I’m sorry,” you sniffle, wiping your face with the sleeves of your sweater. “Jennie wants me to come over but I—I didn’t think I could make it with having a full meltdown. You were on the way.”

“No need to apologize.” He pulls you into another tight hug. “Do you want me to walk you back to your car?”

“No, no it’s fine. I’m right in front. Thanks, Joonie.” Your phone begins to buzz in your hoodie pocket. You pull back and wave it at him, already on your way to the door. “It’s like she knew. I’ll talk to her on the way. Thank you for listening to me cry for the millionth time.”

“Always. Text me when you get there, okay?”

“Will do, mom,” you tease with a soft laugh.

“Zip up your hoodie.”

You grimace at him with narrowed eyes but heed his advice on your way out. You also pull your skirt down as far down your thighs as it will reach. Men are gross and you trust virtually none of them.

Jungkook waits until he hears the click of the lock on the door to breathe a loud sigh of relief. Namjoon rubs the back of his neck and stares at the door. He worries about you.

“Yikes. That Jason guy is a dick huh?”

Namjoon swivels on his heels and rounds on his friend. “Like you were so much better to her?”

Jungkook casts his gaze to the floor. “I didn’t stand her up.”

Even he knows that argument is flimsy.

“Guk.”

“It was always just a joke.”

“It’s not though. She really liked you, man. I asked you not to mess with her.”

Memories have warped Jungkook into a jaded man: untrusting although not uncaring. Guilt is the only thing churning in his stomach as he thinks of you. He never expected to genuinely hurt you. Somehow things twisted into a gnarled mess that never really felt like more than a playful game of tug-of-war. But these kinds of games only work when the people involved know that they’re playing. It’s shitty when one pulls another into the mud when they’ve never agreed to participate.

Faced with the reality of how you consider him now, it dawns on him that he’s dragged you into the mud face-first without even the slightest resistance. You’ve stood up and you’ve even yanked the rope in retaliation, but you never should’ve been in the mud in the first place. Regardless of his own emotional ineptitude, he knows you never deserved that humiliation. No one does. The weight of his actions sits heavy in his gut.

Still he tries to justify himself. “All I do now is make pass after pass and she’s the one who turns me down.”

“You said it earlier yourself,” Namjoon sneers, irritated by his friend’s immaturity. “It’s always a joke. You’re never serious and she knows it. Look, you don’t have to like her back. She’s my friend and so are you. Just don’t lead her on and stop with the mind games. Be honest with her. The least you can do is apologize for being a dick.”

“That’s— I feel like… I don’t know how.”

Jungkook can’t bring himself to tell him of your conversation earlier tonight. It just adds to the guilt piling on his conscience. Namjoon used his own words against him and the worst part is it makes sense. It’s so much easier when it’s a stranger at a bar or a random encounter at a club, but you’re neither of those things. He lumped you into that category all the same.

Namjoon clicks his tongue and puts an arm around Jungkook’s back. “Starting with ‘I’m sorry’ can go a long way. She’s a good person and I know you guys can get along. Things were going well until you made that bet, right?”

Jungkook opens his mouth to speak and then closes it. “Mmm.”

“Not every girl is a Jiseo, Jungkook.”

“Yeah.”

“I think…” Namjoon sighs and shakes his head. “I don’t know. Can you try to just... tone it down? Maybe try to patch things up?”

“Okay.” Jungkook’s brow furrows and he chews his lip as he mulls over Namjoon’s words. He reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out his keys. “You ready?”

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

Your head dips forward as your fingers glide across the keys. It's hard to concentrate on your task when you're this distracted by your own thoughts. You stare at the monitor with furrowed brows. Namjoon grabs the back of your chair and leans forward to tower over you.

"Went that well, huh? Did he blow the second chance he didn’t deserve?"

The motion jerks you backwards and you grip the armrests of the chair to steady yourself. Despite your best attempt to curb the irritation in your expression, your frustration remains apparent. You sit back and tilt your head up to look at him, trying to think of something to say, some excuse to not reinforce the "told you so" waiting in your future, not after you showed up at his apartment sounding like a dying whale a few days before. When no ideas come to your immediate aid, you click your tongue and let out a heavy sigh as you turn your attention back to the screen.

"Geeksquad," he presses. "Talk to me."

You exhale through your nose and briefly purse your lips before obliging his plea. The words are quick and quiet so you don't run the risk of bawling your eyes out again. "He canceled.”

Namjoon steps back and the pressure on your seat is gone. He places a large palm on your shoulder. "I'm sorry. Do you want to talk about it?"

Despite wanting to give the opposite answer, you shake your head. You don't trust yourself to speak, but you'd like to tell him. He's clever and you know he'll likely find a way to get it out of you with minimal effort anyway. Still, you don’t think you can manage the words without crying like a baby and you don’t want to do that when the morning has only just begun. Silence falls between the two of you as he gives you time to decide if you want to open up.

After a moment of tapping away you finally give in. You know you’ll feel better after you cry.

"He said he had to stay behind and help do clean-up for the party he was at. And that’s nice and all, but we had plans. I feel crazy. I should be glad that he’s so kind, right? Like that shows he’s a good person, right?” Your voice has cracked but it hasn’t quite broken.

He sighs and flops in the chair on the other side of his desk. “Y/N… I think you’re asking me for answers you already know.”

“But tell me anyway,” you press, tears welling in your eyes. “Our first date went so well. So why-y-” Your voice breaks.

“Hey.” He reaches across the desk and brushes his fingers against your arm. “I know you want me to help you make excuses for him... But you deserve someone who values your time. Clearly he’s just looking to waste it.”

“But—”

“Y/N, you don’t need someone like that. If this is what he’s like before you’re even together, then what kind of effort is he really going to put into a potential relationship? Not enough. There are so many people out there, people that would trip over themselves just to have the chance to be with you. I know you don’t want to hear it, but I think it’s a mistake that you even gave him another shot. He blew it. Twice. Delete his number. Forget him.”

“I know,” you croak. Tears fall from your eyes and you quickly swipe them away, focusing on the task at hand.

Namjoon is right and you know it, but you’re kind of irritated about it. You know it’s not really him you’re mad at, but Namjoon is a good enough placeholder while you try to sort through your hurt feelings.

You muster your most monotone voice as you stand. “I updated your drivers and deleted any cached files that might have been causing issues. Is that all?”

“Don’t be mad at me,” he pleads, rising to block your path as you step towards the door. “You have a big heart and I hate seeing it stepped on.”

In a matter of seconds you melt into his embrace and bury your face into his shirt. “I hate how fast I like people.”

“I know.” He pets the back of your head softly and squishes you against his chest. “It’s gonna be okay. How about udon later? My treat?”

“With beef?” you ask with a sniffle.

“With beef,” he agrees.

“Gyoza?”

“Mhm.”

“And takoyaki?”

“...You’re pushing it.”

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

You slide the appetizer tray across the table towards Namjoon. “Here.”

He shovels a dumping into his mouth right before he speaks. “I could eat this every day for the rest of my life.”

“Could you afford it though?” you tease, taking a sip from the bottle of saké and crinkling your nose at it before passing it to him.

“Not if you’re joining me,” he snorts. “You’re supposed to pour it.”

“No, thanks.” You push the tiny glass full of liquid back towards him.

"Wow. Are you guys on a date?"

You know the source of the voice before you even crane your neck to see Jungkook.

"Pfft." Namjoon waves the question off with a deep laugh.

Despite finding the scenario of ever dating Namjoon absolutely absurd, you can’t help but feel a little insulted by the volume of his laughter. Namjoon’s hangout night was supposed to take your mind off of how unwanted Jason made you feel. Instead, the pit of insecurity within your stomach grows into a thick, tangled brush of hostility. Is being seen with you really so laughable?

“Why would we be?” you snap, turning your attention back to your bowl.

Heat settles in your face and you purse your lips, not daring to look at either of them. You try to wrangle some noodles to shovel in your mouth before you can say something stupid. Their eyes are on you. Jungkook is definitely confused but not alarmed by your hostility. It’s something he’s grown accustomed to. But Namjoon knows when he hurts your feelings, every time, and it’s easy enough to disarm your irritability.

“She’s way too good for a mess like me,” Namjoon says with a light laugh.

“Why are you here?” you ask, tone already softer than before.

"Post-work snackie," he answers, all too cheery for your sour mood. “Came for the noods. Mind if I join?”

He looks to the rosy-cheeked Namjoon for his answer, as you set your hoodie and purse down in the space beside you to give him yours. Namjoon betrays you by scooting over to make room on his side of the booth. You’d mentioned to him before that you’d eventually like to fix things with Jungkook, to somehow make steps for peace. But you only have so much mental energy left to give today.

“Not tonight, Jungkook,” you plead with a sigh.

The frustration in that puff of breath is enough to make Jungkook hesitate. He blinks a few times, wide-eyed. “What?”

“I just… can’t handle your bullshit tonight.”

Jungkook tries to break the uncomfortable tension with a grin. “No bullshit tonight. Promise.”

“No.” Your answer is firm and somehow so fragile that it makes both men worry their brows in the same fashion. “Please, just go away.”

He shoves his hands in the pockets of his leather jacket and takes a few steps back. He doesn’t know what to make of your demeanor, but he can put enough together to know the basics. You’re upset, maybe not at him for once. However unlikely, that’d be a blessing. Maybe you’re still upset about that guy that stood you up a few days ago. If that’s the case, he probably shouldn’t stick around and risk letting on how much he knows about that.

He tongues the side of his cheek and nods, forcing a smile to his face. “Alright. I’ll just order it to go. Planned on that anyway. Catch you later.”

Guilt wracks your nerves as he walks away. The moment you look back at Namjoon, you’re faced with a wall of disappointment that threatens to topple the scale of decision-making in Jungkook’s favor.

“You’re judging me for that,” you mumble. The noodles between your chopsticks slip back into the broth.

“Little bit,” Namjoon admits, watching his friend sulk over to the entrance waitstaff. “You know he told me he’s trying to be nicer to you.”

“What? When?”

“The other day. We hung out.”

He keeps his answers short and ambiguous, hoping your curiosity has been piqued. Maybe this is the golden opportunity he’s been hoping for to patch your friendship.

“Was this before or after he harassed me on Tinder?”

Namjoon’s heart sinks into his butt. Of course Jungkook would make reconciliation harder than it needs to be. “When did he do that?”

“That night I showed up at your apartment like a big crybaby.”

“I went over his place for dinner after you left. Jin wanted to try a new recipe out on us.” That seems to at least make you pause.

“You guys talked about me?”

“Yup.” He goes back to chewing his food, knowing he’s got you hooked.

Your incredulous stare does nothing to pull information past his lips. “Joonie. What did you say about me? What did he say?”

“Mmm?” He slurps up a long noodle. “A lot of things. But they’re not really my words to tell.”

“No one likes clickbait, Joon.”

“Look, all I’m saying is that he told me that he wants to fix things. If you want specifics, maybe we can invite him to come eat with us. It might be easier for the both of you to talk about it over good food.”

You sigh, seriously considering his words even as you shake your head. “Joon, I’m already emotionally compromised. I really don’t want to cry in front of Jungkook tonight.”

“Why would you cry? This is a night for good things only. Namjoon-approved and protected. You don’t have to talk about anything you don’t want to... I just thought it might be nice to make some good memories with good friends.”

You roll your eyes but hold your pinky out for him. “Fine. But this is Joonie-Y/N time. You’re cutting into that allotted time slot, you know that right?”

Namjoon rests his elbow on the table, preparing to pinky swear to whatever you’re about to suggest. “Conditions?”

“He sits next to you, he doesn’t make fun of me if I cry, and…. he doesn’t get to talk.”

“Y/N.”

“Fiiiiine. He can talk. But he better be as nice as you say he’s trying to be.”

“We allowed to talk about Jason?”

“If it comes up…” you sigh. “You know, if he’s mean to me and I cry then you have to deal with it.”

He clasps his long pinky around yours. “Deal. But with how all that just went down, you gotta go tell him to come back. He won’t believe me if I do it.”

“Don’t let him be mean to me,” you plead, tightening your grip on his pinky and locking eyes with him. “Good vibes only.”

“He won’t be mean. Good vibes only.” Namjoon nods with a soft smile. “He really is a good person where it counts, Y/N.”

You push your things aside and force yourself to find Jungkook. He’s leaning against a wall near the entrance, scrolling through his phone while he waits for his order. You quietly request to your waitress that you’d like his food brought to your table. She’s nice enough about it, but your stomach churns regardless. It’s the anxiety.

You gingerly poke a finger against his shoulder as you approach. “Um. Hey.”

He seems startled at first, but smiles when he realizes it’s you. “Hmm?”

You take a deep quiet inhale, trying your best not to get lost in the butterflies his charming smile conjures in your gut. You try to tell yourself it’s anxiety and nothing more. Apologies are hard and scary. That’s all.

“I’m… sorry for being rude. I’ve had a rough week but I shouldn’t take it out on you. Come eat with us, please. Namjoon’s buying anyway.”

His eyes seem to light up with surprise and a warm smile deepens the creases around his eyes and mouth. The hope that these feelings of attraction would evaporate with time is a flame swiftly snuffed out and replaced with a burning heartache that deems denial useless. Even now, pangs of infatuation lurk below your feelings of disdain, breaking the tension of its surface with each beat of your heart.

“It’s okay,” he reassures you. “I shouldn’t have invited myself when I saw you guys. I should really get home and shower anyway.”

He looks so clean that you’d assumed he’d already showered. It’s not like you can smell him from where you stand. Maybe he’s lying, but at least you get the sense it’s coming from a place of politeness.

“Jungkook, I want you to come eat with us. Besides Namjoon wants someone to drink saké with him and I cannot keep doing it.”

“I see.” He offers a small laugh and rubs the back of his neck. “Are you sure? You seemed pretty against it before. What changed?”

“Namjoon told me you’re trying to be less of an asshole to me.”

“Did he?” he licks his lips and tries to hide his pleased smile. “I’m surprised you believe him.”

“He also promised me I could punch you in the dick if you make me cry,” you lie, completely stone-faced.

If he knows that’s a falsified statement, he doesn’t say anything. He looks past your shoulder to quirk a brow at Namjoon, who appears to be furiously texting at the table. Jungkook’s phone buzzes a few times against his palm and he’s fairly sure he already knows who it is.

“Come on. I already asked them to bring your food to the table.”

He reads Namjoon’s messages as he trails behind you.

NAMJOON: If you seriously want to apologize stick around, make her laugh, just listen when you need to

JUNGKOOK: Don’t worry

JUNGKOOK: I got u

Before Namjoon can send a text saying that Jungkook's response has the opposite effect, you’re peeking across the table, trying to get a glance at the screen.

“Who’s that?” you wonder. Namjoon’s not usually one to be so secretive with his texts.

“Hmm?” he raises his eyebrows at you and pours you a shot. “Stupid. Don’t worry about it.”

“Ha. Haha. Ha.” You gesture at your face. “You say to the girl with anxiety.”

Crinkling your nose at the glass he offers, you slide it across to Jungkook as he settles in next to Namjoon. “Here. I’m done drinking that stuff tonight.”

He regards it with a quirked brow. Something about your demeanor really has changed, but looking between you and Namjoon does nothing to answer the question of what that may be.

“Okay, so on reddit this guy was reaching. He’s going on about the symbolism in the red scarf—”

Your eyes gloss over the moment he mentions reddit. Is there anything you care less about than Joon’s favorite modern literary discussion threads?

“Got it. Not worrying about it,” you interrupt, bringing your bowl to your lips to slurp some of the broth.

Jungkook hides his smirk by throwing his head back to drink his shot. Namjoon is a genius. It might be scary if he ever decided to use his intellect for nefarious purposes. Lucky for the universe he uses it to protect others, like a real superhero would.

As the three of you dine together, you’re surprised to find that Jungkook isn’t being as annoying as he usually is. In fact, it seems the more he drinks outside of any competitive setting, the more affable he becomes. Maybe there’s something to Namjoon’s clickbaity words. He’s almost the person you remember meeting before the Halloween Party, maybe even more pleasant.

You’re grateful when the two of them start telling embarrassing stories so you can listen and laugh at the way they slur their words and interrupt each other. Laughter makes your heart feel light and full, and brave enough to take the last step to prove to yourself you’re done chasing Jason. As the two men fight over the last piece of gyoza and distract themselves over dessert, you quietly decide to clear your text messages from Jason. Your finger hovers over the delete icon for a second before purging his contact information from your device entirely.

It’s freeing to not have to worry about what you should send him. It’s frustrating to have tried so hard for so long and have nothing to show for it, but at least there will be no conversation history to pick apart anymore. It should feel perfect. That will definitely show him, right? You don’t have to reflect for more than a couple seconds to reinforce the memory of how little he actually reached out on his own.

He still has your number. The only time he ever called was on your first date. He never texted you unless you spoke first. He probably won’t even notice you’re gone. He’s probably relieved he won’t have to answer you anymore. He probably thinks you’re desperate for trying for so long. You don’t realize how well you wear your anxiety.

When you look up Jungkook is watching you while he chews with his mouth wide open. “Hey, why do-” He hiccups and swallows. “Why do you look so sad? You should have some ice cream.”

He scans the table for something to offer you, but he can’t seem to find what he’s looking for in his drunken stupor. After a few seconds his eyes finally land on his own plate where the other half of his red-bean cake sits.

“Do you want my taiyaki?” He holds the tail end of the fish-shaped cake out to you. “It’s really good!”

You can’t help but laugh at the unexpected sweet absurdity of the night. “Jungkook, I don’t want your half-eaten cake.”

He frowns and looks at the pastry. “Is it because I bit it? I’ll break off that part for you if you don’t want your mouth to touch that.”

Although Jungkook definitely is more drunk than Namjoon right now, the older man can’t help but be amazed by how well this is going. He loads up on green tea ice cream and digs his spoon in it. He shouldn’t have been so worried. Jungkook can put away the act when he wants to, especially once alcohol is involved and there’s nothing to prove. You guys are actually getting along. What a relief.

“No, really it’s okay.” You laugh.

Jungkook is already breaking the pastry apart in his hand, watching as it crumbles to pieces on his plate. He blinks a couple times and closes his mouth in a frown.

“I thought that would work.” He sounds utterly defeated.

The waitress walks over just in time to watch Namjoon stick a heaping spoonful of wasabi in his mouth. You're too busy laughing at Jungkook's forlorn expression to notice the way Namjoon's eyes water. His eyes drop to the ice cream he thought he shoveled into his mouth. Right next to the pristine, untouched scoop of green tea ice cream, he finds his spoon resting in the hunk of wasabi adjacent to it. He should really pay attention more. He pushes against Jungkook's side and motions that he needs to get up. The younger man spares a glance his way but Namjoon waves him off while mumbling something about the bathroom.

The waitress tries to keep her composure and looks between the pair of you. "How is everything?"

"Great! Could you please bring us some water?" you ask in your sweetest voice, realizing the two men with you should at least try to start sobering up.

You expected to have Namjoon crashing on your couch on a Friday night, or at least be dropping him off down the hall at Hobi’s place. Jungkook was not part of the plan, but you can’t exactly let him drive home inebriated. You know he’s not your responsibility but you’d feel guilty making him call for a ride home when you’re perfectly capable.

Although you hate to admit it, you’ve had fun tonight. If you’re being honest with yourself you’d like to see what he’s like without Namjoon nearby to police his moves. He’s been nice enough, but you want to know for sure this isn’t an act. You want to ask him if he’s made another bet, or playing some game since he hasn’t hit on you all night. Before you can get your line of questions in order, Jungkook turns to the server with large, pleading eyes.

"Oh! Can you bring some more dessert, please?"

He may be a grown ass man capable of charming the pants off of women everywhere, but right now he is little more than a child begging for seconds. Regardless of everything he's done, your heart softens, endeared and embarrassed by his drunken request to your server.

The waitress nods. "Sure, what would you like?"

His eyes fall to you for an answer. "What do you like?"

You blink at him. "Me? I thought this was for you."

He nods. "Mm. We can split it."

"Um, how about... tempura?"

"Banana?"

Jungkook’s voice is full of anticipation and his upturned eyebrows seem to bargain for agreement. It’s so hard to believe this is the same man who has been so cold to you for so long when he seems so open and warm now. You remind yourself it’s probably the alcohol. It’s probably some secret promise to Namjoon. Some bet with Hobi. Some game he’s playing. It’s probably anything other than what your dumb crush-stupefied heart wants it to be.

The waitress looks to you for approval and you give a nod. "Sure. Banana tempura."

The waitress awkwardly smiles as she gathers the empty platters and gives you a chance to break away from his endearingly drunken face. He smiles across the table at you and wrings his hands while you pick up your phone to check on those nonexistent messages. Maybe if you distract yourself enough you can ignore the feelings that are catching up to you tonight.

“Thank you for inviting me back over,” he says, reaching to the nearly empty bottle of saké to pour himself another shot. “I’ve... been wanting to talk to you."

"I’m surprised you didn’t blow up my phone.” It’s supposed to be a joke, but there’s a harshness in your tone that exposes a venomous bite beneath it.

He downs the shot and plants his elbows on the table, leaning forward on them. "I wanted to say it to your face."

“Oh, really?”

You don’t allow yourself to entertain the idea that he’s about to say anything groundbreaking, but you look away from your phone to meet those dark, twinkling eyes. Suddenly there’s hope in your gut. You’re desperate to put some distance between the feelings jumping to the surface.

“I’ve been a dick.”

“No shit.”

Though the fog of alcohol consumes his apology, his eyes focus on you with clarity. “I’m sorry.”

How long have you waited to hear those words? You never really thought about what you might say in response. His apology sits in the air between you for a moment before he speaks again.

“I’m really sorry. Namjoon is right. I am trying to be less of an asshole to you. We don’t…” he catches himself, “I don’t have a lot of close friends who are women.”

“You don’t say.”

That seems to cut through the fog. He hangs his head and focuses his gaze on the table.

“I never wanted to hurt your feelings.”

“Well, you did,” you mumble.

“I know... I’m sorry.” It’s like now that he’s said it once, he can’t stop saying it. He’s not sure how to make you understand. Maybe you do understand and you just won’t forgive him. Can he really blame you for that?

“Why?” you question; it’s the last barrier protecting your heart, the only thing keeping you from caving. “Why do you care now?”

Jungkook’s head lolls to one side as he sits back against his seat and stares at the nearly empty bottle of saké. “I don’t know. I guess I was thinking… I wish I had a save to reload. Before I messed up.”

It seems that’s the best you’re going to get out of him right now. The waitress sets down a beautiful platter of banana tempura meticulously arranged around a simple mound of ice cream, topped with a single cherry and drizzled with decorative chocolate. She places three waters on the table and you both take a moment to politely force smiles and pause your conversation.

He licks his lips and stares down at the plate and then back up at you. “Can we start over?”

“Depends. Are you gonna go back to being a dick when you’re not drunk anymore?”

“No, no. I mean it. I wanna try to be friends.”

“For real?” You swipe the cherry, pop it in your mouth and tilt your head to regard him. You can’t let yourself fully believe him. You want to. The earnestness in his drunken features charms you, but you hold onto a shred of disbelief as a crutch. You’ll wait for the moment he reverts. Hopefully this time you’ll be prepared for the whiplash that comes along with it.

“For real.”

You reflect on his apology as the pair of you dig into the dessert. “Maybe. Prove it.”

He perks up. He’ll take a maybe. Maybe means the damage he’s done might not be irreparable. The guilt weighing on his conscience feels lighter. It’s a start.

“I will. I’ll find some way to make it up to you.”

You roll your eyes, unwilling to put stock in his words. “Is this another bet with Hobi? About how quickly you can make me forgive you?”

Jungkook shakes his head furiously, wisps of wild black hair whipping his cheeks. “No, I mean it. I promise.”

You drag your lip through your teeth as you teeter on the line of acceptance. “What is a promise from a liar worth?”

He drops the flat of his palm to the table and he pouts. “Hey. I mean it…. Hm. If I break my promise…” His eyes scan the table for anything he can use to change your mind. He looks at his arm pressed against the table and then back at you. “You can choose my next tattoo.”

Your eyebrows rise into your hairline. “Really.”

He eagerly nods. “I’ll get whatever you want wherever you want. Just. Not my face.”

“I want that in writing,” you snort.

Jungkook glances around the table and pulls a napkin from under the plate of tempura. “Do you have a pen?”

“Jungkook, you don’t have to—”

“I’m serious.” He’s not taking no for an answer.

You shake your head and rummage through your purse to supply him with a pen. He smooths out the napkin he’s chosen to use as a conduit for his promise. When he’s finished writing he slides it towards you.

Princess

I’m sorry. I can make it right.

I promise. Please give me another chance.

If I blow it you can choose what & where my next tattoo goes.

As long as it’s not my face. Let’s be friends? #promise.com ♡ Jungkook

Of course he signed it with a heart. Despite his inebriation, his handwriting is still neat. Well, that’s one hell of a promise.

“Okay.” You fold the note and drop it into your purse. “We can try.”

His face lights up as he stuffs a piece of tempura into his mouth, happily chomping with his mouth wide open. He reaches for the saké but you slide a water in front of him instead.

“Friends don’t let friends get totally shitfaced at Hajime.”

He frowns at you but seems to accept your answer with a pout.

“Speaking of which… Where is Namjoon?” You crane your neck to look around the restaurant.

“Friday noodle nights common for you guys?” Jungkook asks, digging into the dessert between massive gulps of water.

“No, not really. We’re usually watching movies at my place or hanging with Hobi. But Namjoon wanted to take me out because I was sad,” you say, finally catching sight of your friend on the other side of the bar.

Jungkook’s chewing slows and he regards you with furrowed brows. “Sad?”

Before you can decide how you want to answer, Namjoon is scooting into the booth next to Jungkook and reaching for a piece of tempura. “Mmmm. What did I miss?”

“Y/N was telling me why she’s sad.”

Namjoon nods like he understands exactly what you’ve been talking about. “He’s a dick, right? Like how do you even stand someone up, not once, but twice? Makes no sense.”

“Joonie—”

“And I know what you’re gonna say, but I disagree. It has nothing to do with you or how you look, Y/N. You don’t need to workout like a maniac to try to change anything. Especially not for someone like Jason. I can’t even imagine—”

“Joon.” You click your tongue and slide a glass of water in front of him. “Please, shut the fuck up.”

As you glare at him, he looks at you with raised brows and wide eyes. Unsure what to do now that he’s obviously fubared the conversation, he casts his guilty gaze to his cup and brings it to his lips.

Jungkook stares at you with furrowed brows, trying to wait to let you fill in the blanks even though he’s itching to ask about everything. He picks another piece of tempura and stuffs it into his mouth, but when you remain silent the impulse to pry takes over. “Jason?”

“He stood me up…” you start, but you close your mouth when you realize you’re going to try to defend him. Your throat feels full, like you can’t get enough air through with a giant knot in it like this. You have to whisper so your voice doesn’t crack. “Twice.”

The couple drinking at the table nearby becomes a much more interesting place to rest your eyes than the two men across from you. Tightening your jaw doesn’t prevent the gloss from coating your eyes. Thinking about it makes you feel so stupid and desperate. Bending over backwards a thousand different ways to accommodate him couldn’t convince him to put in even a minimal amount of effort one time.

Jungkook’s eyebrows shoot up in genuine surprise. “Twice?”

The hurt you feel in your chest scorches your cheeks until anger is filling your head like a teakettle ready to release an unhealthy amount of steam right in Jungkook’s face.

“That’s what I get for giving people second chances,” you snap as you focus back on him.

Joon says your name like it’s a warning but you don’t need it. You feel guilty enough for projecting your anger onto Jungkook with a petty one-liner.

“Sorry. It’s not your fault. I just…” Your throat closes around the rest of the words.

Before an uncomfortable silence can settle over the table, Namjoon inches the bottle of saké with his fingertips until it’s in front of him. “Dating is tricky. Jason sucks. It sucks that he hurt you. But you don’t have to twist yourself into whatever you think he wants anymore. And that…” He pours the pitiful remainder of alcohol into a shot glass and slides it towards you.“...is worth celebrating.”

Jungkook silently nods his head in agreement. It’s obvious you’re on the verge of tears and he doesn’t want to be the thing that pushes you over the edge.

A soft smile curls the corners of your mouth. “That’s true, but…” you slide the glass back towards him and steal the last of the banana tempura. “I can celebrate back at my apartment. Finish your water so you’ll be awake enough to join me. Both of you.”

Jungkook perks up and happily reaches for his water while Namjoon gives you a proud, yet confused look. It seems like a new start to something. What that is remains to be seen.

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

Jungkook watches intently as the colors of the city shine through the windows. He runs his fingers over the soft blanket you keep in the backseat, mouthing the words to the song softly playing from your dashboard. Namjoon has been talking nonstop from the passenger seat, which is fine with Jungkook since he’s feeling a little tired. The last session of the day was a bit more intense than intended, but the client left happy and covered in sweat. A success. But Jungkook is sore and exhausted. Physically and socially.

A sense of relief floods him at the memory of his conversation with you. Things may actually be okay from here. Who would have thought crashing your noodle night with Namjoon could have yielded such results?

His head bobs to the music as his eyes wander across the scenery outside until he grows bored and they drift to the interior of your car. A graduation tassel swings from your rearview mirror as you turn. He follows the movement of the tassel when it swings towards you and his eyes land on your face, or at least what he can see of it from this angle.

You look focused and calm while conversing with Namjoon but your posture is a bit rigid and your hands remain planted on the steering wheel in complete control. There’s something about this candid snapshot of your persona that puts him at ease. Your voice is a soft contrast to Namjoon’s, but equally enthusiastic.

He tilts his head as he leans back in his seat, pulling the blanket over his lap and twisting the fabric around his palm. Your eyes flicker in the rearview mirror, catching his. He gives a tiny wave and rests his head against the cushion, fighting the temptation to close his eyelids for longer than a second. The more he listens to you laugh, the more he finds himself smiling. It’s goofy.

It’s also kind of cute.

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

Jungkook is surprised when Yoongi answers your knock; he thought he would be asleep. He’s even more surprised when you make yourself at home on his couch and guilt him with a puppy dog pout to make you a drink, and he complies. When Jungkook asks the same, Yoongi tells him there’s beer in the fridge while measuring out the ingredients for your cocktail. The suspicious sour ache of jealousy stabs his gut as he moseys to the fridge but he quickly shakes it off, settling on the floor in front of the tv with a beer in hand.

After a couple hours of drinking, laughing, and playing Jackbox games with the three men, you’re feeling much better about everything. Life is good. Friends are good. Alcohol is very good.

It doesn’t take much to get you drunk. You’re about as much of a lightweight as Hobi and for better or worse everyone has come to know that fact. What’s nice about drinking in Yoongi’s apartment is that you don’t have to walk very far to get home. Things don’t get awkward with the three of them together; it’s actually kind of nice, like a mini Saturday night pregame.

Soon Namjoon and Yoongi are snoring on the couch with a movie playing in the background while you stand in the kitchen with Jungkook. He pours another drink for himself, though he knows it will mostly likely remain unfinished. Tomorrow may bring a massive hangover, but tonight has been surprisingly pleasant. He feels like he’s finally on okay footing with you, maybe even on the road to serious repair. Amazing how well you get along when inhibitions are replaced by inebriation. If that’s what it takes, he’s determined to keep it up.

As he turns his back to place the liquor bottle in the cabinet by the fridge, you swipe a sip of the drink he’s concocted. He spins around in time to see you wrinkle your nose and stick your tongue out.

“Hey, that’s mine!” he pouts.

“Blegh. You can have it. Yuck!” Your face screws up again at the aftertaste.

He drunkenly giggles as he slides the drink closer to him. “What, don’t like sour?”

“Too sour!” You reach for the water bottle Yoongi gave you hours ago and attempt to rinse the puckering sensation from your mouth.

Amused, he tilts his head and watches you take gulp after gulp. He purses his lips and holds back the comment itching to escape, deciding to enjoy a sip of his drink instead. You shimmy out of your hoodie and tie it around your waist and his eyes lazily follow the motion of your arms, noting a slight difference in their musculature. Some errant thought about their shape leads him back to an earlier unaddressed comment that he’s finally comfortable enough to prod you about.

“What kind of workouts are you doing?” he blurts.

Suddenly you feel very exposed. You straighten in your seat and suck in your gut, hyper aware of every imperfection of your body on display to someone so in shape. You immediately begin to fidget with the sleeves of the hoodie you just tied around your waist.

“You don’t have to tell me. I just—” he pauses, exhaling a small breath and looking down at his drink as though he’s wary of continuing the thought.

“No, no it’s fine,” you assure him, too curious to say otherwise. “What is it?”

“When Namjoon said…” he sighs and takes a sip, smacking his lips and licking them before looking back to you. “I thought maybe I can prove myself to you by helping you come up with a plan.”

“You don’t have to do that.” You plant an elbow on the counter and lean on it.

“I want to,” he insists, reaching out for your arm.

His hand is like fire engulfing your skin and your eyelids flutter at the sensation. Instinctively you place a hand over his and rub your thumb anxiously over it. He looks down to where your thumb grazes his knuckles and then back up to your face with a surprised smile.

“Um… Everything,” you say, trying to sound as vague and nonchalant as possible so he doesn’t judge you for your lack of knowledge.

“Like, full body?”

“Uh...” You’ve managed to make a habit of going to his gym a few days a week while successfully avoiding him, but it seems that time is coming to an end. “I… machine.”

“Oh. Like at a gym? Did you join one?” He seems genuinely curious.

“Um, yeah.” Suddenly you pull your hand back when you realize the speed at which your thumb is moving.

“Which one?”

The more you say, the more suspicious you seem, but is saying less any better? Jungkook rests his elbow on the counter and simply looks at you but you don’t look back. A slow smile spreads his lips as the possibility dawns on him.

“Princess… Did you join Iron Kingdom?”

You puff your cheeks and force the air through the tiny opening of your mouth. You don’t offer any sort of confirmation and continue to avoid his gaze.

“And you didn’t tell me?” he playfully prods, drumming his fingers against your forearm.

“I… Yeah,” you admit, your voice small as you stare at the counter. “I didn’t want you to know.

“Why?”

“Because.”

“Because?”

“I don’t want to give you another thing to make fun of me for.”

“I’m not gonna make fun of you.” When you don’t respond he tugs on your arm. The motion is enough to angle you towards him. “Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey.”

“What?” you grumble, staring at your lap even as you face him.

He takes your hands in his and drunkenly waves them around. “Heeeeeeeey. Look at me.”

He pouts until you reluctantly drag your eyes to meet his. “What?”

“Everyone starts somewhere,” he says softly. “Even me.”

The shift in his demeanor catches you off guard and you subconsciously lean forward as you relax. “Well I started with Hwasa, but I was too sore to ask for another session with her.”

He nods sympathetically, clapping his hand over yours. “You should try again.”

You shake your head. “I don’t know. I feel like…”

“Like?” he prods when you let the silence trail for a bit too long.

“I don’t know what I’m doing,” you sigh. “I feel like I don’t belong there. I look so stupid reading the instructions on the machines. I don’t even think I’m doing it right.”

“What?” He makes a sound between a laugh and a grunt. “There’s nothing wrong with making sure you don’t hurt yourself. Nobody knows how to instantly do things. If they tell you they do, they’re lying.”

“Or they’re Namjoon,” you say with a roll of your eyes, glancing over at your snoring friend.

He smiles and clicks his tongue against his teeth in thought. “I didn’t know what I was doing when I started.”

“Really.”

You’re skeptical. It’s always seemed like he was born in a gym. Or maybe hatched. He’s kind of inhumanly gorgeous. Maybe he sprouted from a flower like a mythical god.

“For real. First time doing squats. I think it was gym class? Yeah, I was like twelve or thirteen. I was… not very athletic. Didn’t play sports or anything. Kind of shy. Didn’t really have a lot of friends either…”

The way he trails off makes your heart hurt. Puberty isn’t nice to most people. It’s hard to imagine a world where someone like Jungkook isn’t instantly popular and naturally fit. While you’re not exactly the same person you were at twelve, a lot of your interests and personality quirks have remained the same. You’re still painfully awkward at times. How did he manage to overcome something like that? Is it not ingrained in him like it is you?

“Just a big dork, you know?” He laughs. “I see this girl I had a crush on, Amber. She’s looking at me. I think I have to impress her. So I’m stacking up weight and I think I’m hot shit and go too fast. Know what happened?”

“Please don’t tell me you dropped it on your foot or something,” you plead, squeezing his palms at the way he’s building up the story. The secondhand embarrassment is too real.

“I hear a pop.”

“No!” you gasp, bringing your hands to your face as if you can stop the past from happening.

“And pain. So much pain. I don’t remember putting the weights down but I remember ending up on my back, staring up at the ceiling.”

“Oh no. Knees?”

“Worse.” He points down to his crotch. “Pulled a muscle in my groin. Had to sit the rest of the day with an ice pack on my junk. Was not fun. My point is: don’t give up. You learn more as you go. Give Hwasa another shot.”

His anecdote gives you pause but you’re desperate to cling to the comfort of your anxiety. “My free trial with her is almost up and I don’t think I’ll be able to afford to keep at it.”

“More excuses,” he teases, taking a sip of his drink. “At this point I should just—” His eyes widen, a lightbulb practically forming above his head as he puts his cup down. “I’ll be your personal trainer!”

“Uhh…”

“No, no. It’s perfect. We’re friends now.” He smiles, proud of himself for finding a way to prove himself to you. “I can teach you everything you need to know about working out. I can set up a plan for you and figure out the best way to help you achieve your goals. Oh, man we’re gonna have to figure out your goals. What do you—”

“Hold on. Hold on,” you interrupt with a nervous laugh. “You’re missing the part where I still can’t afford it.”

He rolls his eyes and grabs your glass, holding it under the sink to refill it. “Don’t worry about that. I’ll cover it.”

You’re stunned into silence as you observe the expanse of his back, searching the black fabric of his t-shirt for the definition of his muscles. He sets the cup in front of you, waiting for your agreement. When it doesn’t come, he second guesses himself. Did he overstep?

“I mean if you’re okay with that. Would-would you want to do that?”

The innocent drunken sparkle in his eyes makes your stomach do a flip. When you woke up this morning you hardly thought the day would include getting sloshed with Jungkook and having him offer to take you on as a fitness trainee. It’s like he’s opened himself up just enough for you to see the soft mess beneath. You like it. You like it a lot and you kind of hate yourself for it. While you don’t know if you can trust him past the evening, you find yourself hoping you can.

“You won’t make fun of me?” you ask timidly before bringing the cup of water to your lips.

“It’s my job not to make fun of you. We start where you’re at and go from there. And like I said, I’ll cover the fees for as long as you want. No pressure.” He smiles at you. “What do you think?”

“...Okay,” you murmur with a nod of your head. “If you’re serious, then I’m… I’m in!”

His lips part to expose his teeth as his grin spreads. “Yes!”

As he brings his hand up in a sign of victory, his knuckles knock against his glass. You reach for the cup with impaired reflexes, hands fumbling over the slippery surface in conjunction with his. The sour contents spill across the counter as the pair of you struggle to right the glass. While he’s quicker at getting the glass upright, your brain is faster at processing what to do next and you already have a paper towel in hand, wiping up the liquid as fast as possible.

Your eyes follow the spill to the edge of the counter where it’s flooded over the side. Acting on instinct rather than rational thought, you quickly press down where the liquid has begun to pool in his lap. As you fold the paper towel over, you rub frantically as if the action will keep the stain from setting into the fabric. He shifts in his seat and squeaks out a sound so small that you can’t actually tell whether it came from him or the chair.

It only dawns on you how inappropriate your actions are when you glance towards his face and find his wide eyes gazing back at you. His cheeks, already flushed from inebriation, seem twice as vivid and his mouth is parted slightly as though he means to speak, but he doesn’t. Maybe he doesn’t want to embarrass you, but it’s too late for that.

Your palm stills against his crotch as the shape beneath becomes clear in your mind. For a second you’re frozen, but your lips work quickly to mumble an apology. It feels like an eternity before you will your drunken fingers to release the paper towel. The clearing of Jungkook’s throat is followed by a tiny giggle, then a full on snort. A grin spreads across your lips and you soon follow him into a fit of laughter. You thank the universe for the small mercy of being drunk enough to push your embarrassment to the side for the time being.

“I wasn’t thinking!” you wheeze, tears in your eyes from laughing so hard. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. It’ll dry.” He laughs, dabbing his pants and shirt in the absence of your hand. As he stands he pulls the hem of his shirt away from his torso and looks down at it. “Really. It’s my fault I’m so…”

“Sticky?” You quirk an eyebrow at him, a blatant flirtatious action thinly disguised as a joke as you eye the blot of liquor staining the lower half of his shirt.

Both of his eyebrows raise and a mischievous smile curls the corner of his lips. “...Wet.”

You consider his answer with a pleased hum and turn back to the counter to polish off the last of your water. You’re friends now, right? It can’t be that easy. But it kind of is. So what’s wrong with a little harmless flirting between friends?

Drunk brain, who happens to be a notorious hoe, assures you it’s great. Rational brain might disagree, but she’s taking a well-deserved nap. You’ve at least had a good night. You’re not sure it matters at this point who is giving you the attention you crave. It feels good. So good, in fact, you’re sure you can indulge drunk brain a little more.

You’re drawn to the inky shapes swirling around Jungkook’s bicep as he wipes the counter down. Every time your eyes begin to focus on an object marking his skin with some kind of meaning, he moves and you lose it. It’s brush strokes, isn’t it? You’ve definitely seen a paintbrush and mountains and a knife surrounded by roses. A swathe of grey and purple connects to each one you’ve seen, but you know there are more.

Before you can blurt that you’re dying to know how many he has and how bad it hurt to get them, he turns toward the sink and begins to work his t-shirt up his torso. You watch in awe as the toned muscles of his back are exposed. The image of the bright phoenix does little to hide their definition.

Trying to will yourself to look away is of no use; he’s hot and you’re drunk enough to acknowledge that fact. Of course he peeks at you just as the shirt slips over his head to find you open-mouthed and dazed, ogling him as though there isn’t any shame in the world that could pull your gaze from him. He turns to the fridge to give you a moment to compose yourself, nabbing a water bottle from the shelf in the process. You’re clearly not ready for the way he quickly spins on the balls of his feet to face you.

Y/N.exe has stopped working.

Your fingers hang in the air suspiciously until you lazily drop them. But Jungkook dons a toothy grin and has the audacity to look shy. He mockingly shields his chest from you with the shirt clutched in his hands.

“Princess! Are you… checking me out?”

Somehow you don’t let the fire in your face turn your brain to ash.“Pfft, no.”

“What’re you doing, then?” he teases with a laugh as he sits, scooting his chair closer to yours.

“Counting,” you reply simply, brow furrowed in concentration. To drive the point home, you poke at his flesh everywhere you can make out an object drawn into its surface.

“How many?” he wonders, watching with cloudy, amused eyes.

“Mmm…” You trail your finger down his arm and back up, following the curve of the brushstroke around his shoulder. “Can’t tell if this counts as one.”

He shrugs and rests his head on his palm as he leans against the counter. “What do you think?”

You hesitate when he quickly quirks a brow.

“I think… A lot.”

“Definitely accurate,” he says with a grin.

Awkward laughter steers the pair of you towards your waters. The TV in the background provides enough noise to steal your focus; you’re grateful for the distraction from the attractive man beside you. Drunk brain is telling you to touch him again, to grab his hand, to feel the touch of someone just for the night, to ruin every good thing this night has started to rebuild between you. Anything to stave off the emptiness of your bed, the 2AM thoughts of failure, and the drunken desperation to find someone, anyone, who will fall in love with whatever image you happen to project on your dating profile.

Heart pounding wildly in your chest and blood rushing through your ears, your fingertips tap against the countertop as they inch closer to where his arm rests. Luckily your futile attempts at nonchalance go unnoticed. Jungkook anxiously turns his water bottle over in his hands, trying to gather words in his brain before freeing them from his mouth.

“So…” he begins.

You jump at the sudden sound and retract your hand while he’s not paying you any mind.

“I was thinking. About that guy…”

You wish you could at least pretend you don’t know who he’s talking about. You’ve vented plenty tonight, but still your heart sinks. Deleting Jason’s digital footprint from your life was simple and quick, but the feelings of rejection and disappointment that swirl in the back of your mind spill forward the longer his pause continues.

“I know this probably means nothing coming from me. But I just— I know you liked him, but you can do better.“

Your posture stiffens at his reassurance and you find yourself grateful he’s not looking at you. Do you deserve better?

“You deserve better,” he affirms, as if somehow aware of your internal struggle.

“Thanks,” you murmur with a distinct lack of enthusiasm as you stare down your glass.

It's cry hours, isn’t it?

Realizing you don’t believe him, he takes a deep breath and nudges you with his elbow. “Hey.”

“What.” You refuse to look up because you know you’re on the verge of an irrational stream of tears over some guy you hardly knew. It’s stupid and you know it. But the wet warmth coating your eyes tells you it’s coming regardless.

“I’m... sorry that you don’t feel like you do. Some people can’t get over the weight of their own shit. But that doesn’t mean it’s on you to pick it up for them. If they can’t even bother to carry themselves to meet you halfway, then they’re not worth the effort.”

It’s a perfect time for your heart to seize up and it takes the opportunity to do so. The advice he offers doesn’t stave off the tears, but it resonates deep within you. Namjoon said something similar. It makes you ache to hear it again from someone else. It just leads you back to the same questions you keep asking yourself. What’s so wrong with you that people don’t even want to try? Is it your personality? Physicality? Is it a lack of confidence? What is it?

‘I can’t even get a shitty guy to like me. Maybe I’m the one not worth the effort.’ You don’t dare say those words out loud. Pity isn’t something you’re looking for. A warm body to fill your bed maybe, but not pity.

“Sounds easy when you say it like that,” you murmur, trying in vain to will the tears not to fall. You’re quick to swipe at them and force a smile. “I guess I have trouble giving up on people. It’s not that I’m naive. I try to be realistic. But no matter how many times I get fucked over I just... hope for the best in people. I can’t help it.”

He pats your arm reassuringly. “That’s why you deserve better.”

If only it was as simple as hearing those words and magically being able to believe it. A big chunk of your confidence has crumbled away and there’s no clear path to restoration. As the warmth of his palm comes to rest against your arm, you place your hand over his and squeeze.

“I don’t know if I believe it,” you pause and thoughtfully add, “but thanks for saying it.”

His eyebrows raise in surprise and he offers a tiny, “You’re welcome.”

A shaky chuckle passes your lips. All of his features seem to soften the more you look at them. Maybe it’s the drunken gloss coating his big brown eyes or the way his lips slightly part as he looks back at you. The tightly coiled nerves in your belly urge you to unravel.

Although it's a subtle gesture, he licks his lips as he smiles and it practically seals your fate. If you don't leave now you're bound to do something you'll regret.

"It's late. I should sleep."

Or masturbate.

The speed at which you launch yourself from the seat is unpleasant. You're not sure what's worse: the dizzying vertigo or waves nausea sloshing in your gut. Jungkook's reflexes may be delayed but he's a steady mass of muscle the moment you reach out to steady yourself.

"Whoa. You okay?"

"Maybe," you mumble, finding yourself drawn to the heat radiating from his skin. Instead of walking away, slump down to rest your cheek against his shoulder and sling an arm around him. You might be drunker than you thought. "I don't know."

"Hmm. What do you need, princess?"

"Just wanna stop spinning."

His stance shifts to better accommodate the additional weight you press against him.

"How about you take over Yoongi's bed tonight," he suggests softly. "He's passed out anyway."

"No, I should go home." You peel your cheek from the warmth of his skin.

“You gonna make it there?”

“Yes,” you say indignantly. The world may be a bit wobbly right now, but you’re certain you can handle the short stroll down the hall.

"Okay.” He smiles, loosening his hold. As you step back your foot catches on the leg of the chair and it drags loudly against the floor.

Despite Jungkook’s attempt to keep you standing by grabbing at your arms, he loses his balance and he drops to his knees. The chair clatters to the floor before your ass does. Luckily his grip keeps your back and head far from impact, but you’re too cramped to be comfortable.

“Are you okay?” he asks. Those big, dark doe eyes of his are frozen in fear and a frown adorns his face. He looks so serious it’s ridiculous.

You can’t help but laugh, wiggling backwards to make space between his body and the heat steadily building between your legs. “I’m fine. Stop making that face.”

“Huh? What do you mean?” He sits back on his feet and tilts his head to the side in confusion.

He breaks into a fit of giggles when you dramatically mimic his expression. You roll back onto your elbows, making another ridiculous face to further mock him.

“No, no. It’s more like…” Jungkook takes the opportunity to lean over you, reaching with one hand to squeeze your cheeks to pucker your lips. You blow a disjointed raspberry at him before pulling his hand off to the side.

While the clamor of the fallen chair did nothing to rouse the men on the couch, the sound of Jungkook’s hearty laughter is loud enough to disturb the rhythmic snores of Namjoon.

Jungkook sits back on his heels and peeks over the countertop. He seems miles away, even as you sit up and scoot in to bring yourself closer. Laughter fades into a quiet hum as Namjoon’s snoring resumes.

You're lost in the abyss of his gaze as he turns his head to look back at you. All that remains in your brain at this point is a foggy desire to tug on the silky spirals of his ebony hair until he presses himself against you one more time.

Your hand settles for following the curves of his bicep instead, wondering how it might feel to be wrapped within his embrace. Some might say liquor makes you bold and stupid, and they're right. They should say it. But it also makes you feel invincible, like a goddamn glowing Mario star power-up.

"Princess?"

Enraptured, his eyes follow the motion of your hand as it slithers around his arm and squeezes. Unable to ignore the prompt, he answers with a flex against your palm. His ego swells when you shiver and noticeably hold your breath.

You know it's a mistake. You know it goes against all of your sober judgement, but you find yourself doing it anyway. It doesn't matter that you still harbor a grudge that holds your heart hostage. Drunk hoe vibes are taking the wheel. You’re tired, drunk as hell, and just want to feel wanted. And he's here.

Every fiber of your inebriated being is singing in unison: Why the fuck not?

Heartbeat pounding against your eardrums, you attempt to gauge his reaction as you lean towards him. It's hard to tell from beneath half-lidded eyes, but you think he's leaning towards you too. If he isn't you suppose you can always play it off like you're just a mess. It's not far from the truth. Focusing on the tiny freckle below his lip, you allow yourself to finally close your eyes and go for it.

But the universe isn’t here for your dumb boozy bitch mistakes.

The front door swings open with the sound of jingling keys dropping to the floor. It snaps you back to reality and you freeze, realizing there's no defense that will save you. Jungkook is quick to disengage, poking his head above the counter to acknowledge Hoseok’s presence with a wave. But his friend is completely enamored with the company he’s ushering towards his bedroom.

“Yeah, baby? How bad?” Hoseok whispers to the giggling girl wrapped around his arm.

He pins the stranger against the door to drag his tongue across her neck. Their bodies move rhythmically in a slow grind, a precursor for what’s likely to come. Jungkook purses his lips. How long until one of them notices him watching? It’s not until the girl moans Hoseok’s name softly that Jungkook spares a panicked look towards you.

Oh shit.

You gesture for him to get down before he draws their attention. The last thing you want to explain is why you’re on your knees in Hoseok’s kitchen with a very shirtless Jungkook standing close by. He obliges your silent request, squatting down beside you.

“Feel how hard you made me?” Hobi chuckles quietly.

The girl giggles, her voice growing closer. “You gonna fuck me right here or what?”

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you? Naughty girl. What if my roommate wakes up? Looks like he has a friend over too. You really want them to see what a dirty slut you are?”

You can hear her giggle as he directs her where to go, failing to keep his voice down so you hear every filthy thing he says after. Your hands fly to cover your mouth. Is your skin made of lava? You want to blame it on the close proximity to Jungkook, but the only thing you can imagine is Hoseok’s dick and the eager mystery woman about to be impaled by it. Can you scrub your brain of this memory? How are you supposed to look at him after this?

Jungkook watches your face carefully, trying his hardest not to laugh. Your eyes look so big he’s pretty sure they could roll out of your skull any second. Are you really so innocent? The way you cover your mouth says you are, but maybe it’s just the shock. Maybe you’re just trying to not laugh. Or scream. Or breathe? It kind of looks like you might pass out.

Are you gonna make it, princess? he wonders.

Once you hear Hoseok's bedroom door close, you fuss your hands over your hair and scramble to your feet, releasing a big exhale. The hushed words fall from your lips while you scurry away like a timid mouse. "I should go."

Despite being too far to make contact, he reaches out as you round the counter. "Wait—"

As soon as the word leaves his mouth he struggles to come up with the rest of his statement. There’s no reason to keep you here, except to maybe laugh a little about what just happened to smooth over any second-hand embarrassment. So why doesn’t he want you to go?

He swallows down the blank space caught in his throat and searches every last crevice of his brain for something of import to say. Guilt weighs his gut down, though there isn’t a clear cause. He’s probably screwed something up again without realizing it.

“Thanks for giving me another shot,” he says softly.

You breathe a sigh of relief and offer a tiny smile as you half turn, your hand already on the door handle. “Don’t blow it.”

He nods with a smile. “I won’t. Goodnight.”

“‘Night,” you mumble.

As soon as the door is closed you practically sprint down the hall to lock yourself within your apartment. Maybe it will also lock out all the mistakes your brain has made tonight.

The world feels colder now that you’re not pressed against the human-shaped heater that is Jeon Jungkook. Thinking about him makes your heart swell and ache at the same time. Regardless of how badly you wish you'd asked him to bed, you know loneliness is fleeting and guilt would be a far worse feeling to be saddled with.

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

Jungkook picks up the fallen chair, finding your soft, worn hoodie draped over it. Rubbing a thumb over the material, he considers running it back to you, but he can't remember which door is yours. It's not like he's been here often enough to know. Instead he slips his arms through the sleeves before flipping the hood over his head.

He settles on the floor in the space he previously claimed for the night, pulling a blanket out from under Yoongi's ass. Yoongi rolls his head up, a scowl on his features though his eyes remain closed. He grumbles but lies down, facing the couch.

Jungkook regards his friend for a moment before deciding to drape the blanket over him instead of claiming it for himself. Jungkook rolls onto his side and fluffs the throw pillow under his head. As he watches the credits roll on the TV, he nuzzles into your sweater.

He closes his eyes, thinking of you. He knows he shouldn't linger on the little occurrences of the night, especially with how foggy his brain is. He can't trust anything about his memory.

Still he thinks of the way your fingers trailed along his arm and curled tightly around his bicep. He lets himself dwell on the tiny sound you made, the involuntary tremble of your body, and the subsequent hitch in your breath.

He smiles and inhales the subtle scent you've left behind. A new spark of adrenaline fans flames that inflate his ego, spreading warmth from his stomach up into his chest. The world may wobble around him right now, but the little magical warmth within his gut helps him comfortably drift off to dreamland like he's the world's most immovable object.

#smutcentralnet #jungkook smut #jungkook fic #bts fic #jungkook x reader #jungkook fluff #jungkook x you #bts fluff #jungkook fanfic #bts fanfic

[mickey-henry]

𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐛𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐲

pairing: bucky barnes x reader

summary: bucky’s been flirting with you, but hasn’t taken it further than that. frustrated, you decide to take matters into your own hands.

word count: 2.1k

warnings: occasional swearing (but not much) and frustrating flirting (I’d be melting if it was happening to me). besides that, this fic is pure fluffy fun.

author’s note: hello there! this is my second fic; I’m very excited to post it! I found the header image here, and if you want to listen to the song I reference in this fic, you can listen here. bold text indicates singing, while italicized text refers to inner thoughts. likes, reblogs, messages, replies, and comments are cherished! I hope you like it! 💖

Bucky Barnes is an acquaintance at best. The two of you rarely work together, and with conflicting schedules, you see little of each other around the compound. On a random Friday in April, however, something changes in you. The moment is nothing out of the ordinary. You’re sitting on the couch in the main living space, re-reading one of your favorite books. Bucky has just returned from a mission; you glance up to see his exhausted expression. He catches your eye, winking with a smile, before walking to his room. Your heart flutters and your head freezes at the response. “Oh, no,” you think to yourself. “Maybe that was a one-time thing? I don’t actually like him, right?” Wrong. 

Ever since that night, the mere presence of Bucky Barnes drives you crazy: his stunning blue eyes that squint ever so slightly when he smiles, his adorable nose that crinkles when he laughs, his pillowy lips that you lose yourself in, his  fluffy hair you can’t help but imagine running your fingers through, his scruff speckled jawline that you wish would brush along your hands, cheeks, anywhere really. He occupies your dreams; you can’t escape this man even if you try. Today, he drives you crazier than usual. He stands in the compound's kitchen in a tight black t-shirt, one that leaves nothing to the imagination. This is the first time you’ve seen him in short sleeves, in anything other than tactical gear. You can’t help but stare as he prepares his lunch. The shirt hugs his frame tight, accentuating his biceps that had no right to be that big. “Gosh, he must spend hours in the gym to look like that.” You then notice the vein in his right arm protruding from his skin, tracing it with your eyes. You didn’t think he could become any more beautiful, but here he is before you, incredible as ever. 

You’re pulled from your reverie when Bucky calls your name. “Yeah?” you reply, barely masking the startled stutter in your voice.

“Pass me the salt?”

“Oh! Sure, of course,” you muster, taking a sip of water from the glass in front of you as you hand him the salt shaker. 

“Thanks, doll,” he flirts with a smile, the same one he gave you that night when he got back to the compound. You nearly choke. “Bucky Barnes called me a term of endearment?!? Holy shit.” Your heart swells and you look down at your glass in a desperate attempt to hide the blush creeping its way across your cheeks. “Goodness gracious, I respond this way from a simple word?” You couldn’t imagine how you’d feel if he touched you. 

It didn’t take long to find out. The following day, you stand in the kitchen prepping your lunch, singing softly along to the song playing from your phone. Bucky appears soon after. He stands close to you for a moment, closer than necessary, but of course you don’t mind. He has just showered; his cologne lingers in the air, intoxicating you. Somehow, you keep singing along, showing no sign that your mind is elsewhere. 

“Ugh, he smells amazing. This man has too much power over me; this is ridiculous! I don’t even remember what I was doing—”

“You have a beautiful voice,” he compliments.

“Thank you, Bucky,” you softly reply, your heart racing at his praise.

“Let me get by you real fast, doll,” he says, moving to walk behind you. 

“There he goes again with the pet name. My god, could this get any worse—” 

He places his hands gently on your hips as he moves beside you. Electricity travels through your whole body; you’re internally screaming at his touch. His hands feel better than you imagined. Even though the contact lasts only a moment, the effects of his touch linger after, leaving you speechless. 

You hear a musical chuckle from the man behind you. “Is he teasing me? It sure feels like it,” you wonder. There is no way that he can’t see the effect he has on you. Before you can even formulate another thought, he touches you again as he moves back to the other side of you. “That was definitely on purpose; certainly he wouldn’t do this by accident. Right?”

Your eyes linger as he finishes putting together his lunch. He catches your gaze and smiles. “See you later, sweetheart,” he says with a wink before leaving the room. “Okay, that answers my question; that was very intentional. What am I going to do with myself?”

You don’t know how much longer you can take his teasing. Throughout the week, he ups his antics, calling you pet names more than your own, stealing touches whenever he can get away with it, smiling whenever you make eye contact. The tension is insatiable; thoughts of Bucky follow you everywhere. You decide to take matters in your own hands; Bucky did not seem to be planning to make a move anytime soon. If he is going to tease the hell out of you, you might as well get some payback. 

───────────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ･ ─────────────

Tony’s announcement of Friday night karaoke gives you a wicked idea. However, for it to work, you need to recruit help. You know just who to ask. It doesn’t take long to find Sam and Steve; they spent a ton of their free time sparring in the gym. They seem to be at the end of their workout, their movements slow and sloppy, relying on witty retorts to throw off the other. They stop when they notice your arrival. 

“Hey!” Sam says with a smile, hugging you as you approach. You squeeze him tightly, even with his sticky sweat coating his arms. You greet Steve with a hug too.

“What brings you to our neck of the woods?” Steve asks as you let go.

“Can I ask you guys something? And you promise you two won’t laugh at me? Especially if I'm reading this wrong?”

“Of course,” answers Steve. 

“Yeah, for sure,” replies Sam. 

You hesitate for a second, taking a deep breath. “Does Bucky like me? I swear he does. He keeps teasing me, and I don’t know how much longer I can take it. I think I am practically in love with the guy at this point, he’s so beautiful and—”

You stop as the boys exchange glances and begin laughing. 

You cross your arms, hurt. “You said you wouldn’t laugh at me! I can’t control how I feel.”

“No! Wait! We aren’t laughing at you!” Steve says between giggles. 

You furrow your brows. “Then why are you laughing?”

“Bucky’s obsessed with you,” Steve answers after calming his laughter. 

“God, yes, you’re all he talks about nowadays,” Sam adds. 

“What?! He does? Why? Are you shitting me right now? Because that would be really freaking mean—“

“No! Of course not,” Steve insists. “Don’t you see the way he looks at you?”

“And the pet names he gives you?” Sam adds.

“And how he can’t seem to keep his hands to himself lately?” Steve finishes. 

Now you feel stupid for even asking. Of course you noticed all of those things. They were all you ever thought about. “Well, yeah, but maybe he does that with all the girls.”

“What girls?” Sam retorted. “The only women who are here often enough to cross paths with him are you, Natasha, and Wanda. Wanda’s with Vision, as weird as that is, but love is love. Natasha shoots daggers at anyone who looks at her with love in their eyes. That leaves you.”

“Why in the world would he like me? Of all people? He’s out of my league,” you sigh,

Sam’s scoff pulls you from your thoughts. “Bucky? Out of your league? He’s a crazy ex-assassin with emotional issues! If anything, he's out of your league.”

“You’re a catch, why wouldn’t he like you?” Steve assures.

Steve and Sam always know just what to say to make you feel better. “I guess you’re right,” you admit with a defeated grin. 

“So, you know how Bucky feels. What are you going to do about it?” Steve asks. 

“I have an idea, but I need your help.”

“We’re listening.”

You divulge your plan to them. They smile, hyping you up. 

“Dude, I’m so down!” Sam exclaims, clapping his hands in excitement. 

“You think this will work?”

“Definitely,” Steve assures. “This is going to be amazing!”

“Okay then, we’re doing this. Let’s go find Bucky. Time to initiate phase one.”

───────────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ･ ─────────────

Bucky is sitting on the common room couch, flipping through a book when he sees you, Sam, and Steve enter. He exchanges a glance with you, smiling as your eyes light up. The three of you sit down. You’re sitting next to Sam, closer than usual. There’s a brief moment of silence before you speak. “Sam, are you going to karaoke night?”

“Of course! Wouldn’t miss everyone’s drunk-ass singing for the world.”

“Will you be my duet partner?”

This catches Bucky’s attention. He looks up from his book. Why the hell were you asking Sam to sing with you? You normally ask the girls...

“Sure thing, baby. It’ll be a ton of fun!” Sam smiles. 

Baby?! What?! How dare he call you a pet name, his girl, right in front of him? Well, you may not be his girl yet, but Sam knows how he feels about you. What the hell is he thinking?

“Yay! This’ll be so fun!” You hug him, grabbing his hand before continuing, “Wanna practice with me in a bit?”

“Find me when you’re ready, sweetheart,” Sam answers, kissing your knuckle before letting go of your hand. 

Sweetheart?! What the fuck was going on? Did he miss his shot? Would Sam really do that to him? Bucky can barely handle his swirling thoughts. He storms out of the room without looking back. 

Steve can’t help but laugh once Bucky is out of earshot. “That worked a little too well, wouldn’t you say so?”

“That wasn’t too far, was it?” you ask with a worried expression on your face. 

“Nah, don’t worry about it. He’ll just come on even stronger now. He won’t give up on you that easily,” Sam assures you. 

───────────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ･ ─────────────

Bucky can barely contain his anger as you step on the stage with Sam, giggling and smiling at your karaoke partner. Jealousy engulfs him. He can barely listen to the start of the song, ignoring the catchy beat blasting through the speakers. He doesn’t recognize the song, but looks up from his drink when you sing, “Hey Bucky boy, what you doing tonight? I wanna see what you got in store."

He looks right at you. Did she just say Bucky?

Sam echoes, “Hey, hey Bucky!” Well, that answers his question.

“You're giving it your all when you're dancing on me. I want to see if you can give me some more,” you continue, twirling your fingers through your hair.

“Hey, hey Bucky!”

“You can be my man, I can be your girl, and we can pump this jam however you want,” you sing, swaying your hips to the cadence of the lyrics.

“Hey, hey Bucky!”

“Pump it from the side, pump it upside down, or we can pump it from the back and the front,” you wink as you finish the line. Bucky sits up suddenly, crossing his legs, his face turning beet red. You smile, knowing the plan was working. Steve laughs from beside him. He keeps his eyes glued on you as the two of you continue the song, utterly entranced. You look him right in the eye as you end the song, “I want you tonight.”

You saunter over to where he is sitting after high-fiving Sam, confidence filling your chest. “So, what did you think of my performance, Bucky?”

You yelp as he grabs your hips and pulls you down to sit on his lap. His voice deepens, “you’re such a tease, you know that right?”

You laugh. “I’m the tease? Really? You’re the one who just pulled me onto your lap and taunts me with flirtatious remarks and smiles all freaking day. My god Bucky, make a move already—”

He cuts you off, pulling you in for a kiss, his flesh arm grabbing the back of your neck. The team whoops and cheers. 

“Glad you finally made a move, Bucky,” you pant as your lips part from his.

“Best decision I ever made in my life, doll.” Before you can respond, he kisses you again, the karaoke bar fading in the background as you finally embrace the man of your dreams.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky x you #bucky x reader #bucky barnes one shot #bucky barnes reader insert #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes #mickey-henry #bucky barnes fic #my fic: hey bucky #mel's writing